• Published 21st May 2019
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The Unique Properties of Dark Magic - Shadestyle



Stranded in Equestria's far past in the body of a unicorn without any magical knowledge, the self proclaimed "Weiss Noir" fights for survival in the Frozen North by indulging in sorcery most foul.

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(Present Chapter 15): Self-Righteousless

Tempest Shadow is having a really good day today. Sunset Shimmer is nowhere to be found, Star Road has become the best damn base she's enjoyed the pleasure of occupying, Weiss has explained what they're going to do with their little guard captain, and something very special has happened to her to justify her not wearing armor today.

Activating her communicator, she opens a line to one of her subordinates.

"Status report, any activity on the Equestrian Side?" She asks, prompting the bulky soldier to shake their head rapidly.

"Nothing yet Captain, They've been really quiet after we got em."

Tempest ponders this. It's been almost a month since the attack. 'Maybe they're waiting to see what we do with Shining Armor.' She poses internally.

"Keep watching the cameras, Eyeballs. Dismissed." She says, deactivating her communicator and walking off the edge of the Star Road.

Casting a spread of specialized spells in freefall, Tempest's body is surrounded in a skintight bubble of reversed gravity that flips her around as she tucks into a roll for a moment before striking the side of The Tower.

A selective repulsion spell allows her to slide down it's obsidian walls with nearly no friction to slow her down unnecessarily, before the reversed gravity finally slows her down necessarily, just in time to hook her hooves over a window frame and pull herself the rest of the way down into it.

She can't help but smile wryly as she flips over inside the balcony's arch with practiced ease, before canceling the spell and flipping herself upright.

It's hard to believe that that spell was considered "unsuitable for flight", just because most unicorns can't do some basic acrobatics.


Weiss Noir has found himself with a conundrum, now that he's finally gotten around to examining the loot.

The minute he picked up the Alicorn Amulet, he got the oddest feeling. One that was just too delicious to pass up.

"My my Sombra, most ponies wouldn't leave their old crib laying around, but I suppose you've never been one to think things through, have you?" He mumbles to himself as he stares at the faceted gemstone, which he had ripped free from it's amulet for further experimentation.

He holds the blisteringly crimson gem up to the light. He can hardly believe it. The Alicorn Amulet, a complete misnomer. There's no small irony to that, Weiss finds.

That the gem powering the so called "Alicorn" amulet was really a piece of Unicorn Crystal. One that could have only come from one place on the planet.

The Umbrum Crystal.

'This must have been the vessel that Sombra used to escape it.'

Weiss's smile turns sadistic as plans turn about in his head. "You know, maybe killing is too good for Sombra," he poses to himself.

"Yes... I think I'll send him crying home to mommy, instead."

The door opens, and Weiss carefully sets the Unicorn Crystal down. "Ahh, Fizzy. You're early," He says, turning in his spinny chair to face his captain.

"Yes, forgoing my usual armor has improved my mobility. I didn't much care for the old branding," She explains with hidden cheer as she pulls up a chair for herself.

"Did you get what you needed, Sir?"

He shakes his head. "Unfortunately, I'm going to need to contract out some work to produce some synthetic versions of the crystal, this one has sentimental value," he jokes.

Tempest just smirks, not bothering to question Weiss. "And the prisoner?"

Weiss passes Tempest a letter. "I've already got the letter forged. Just send it to Twilight and then do as we had planned."

Tempest grabs the scroll with her telekinetic grip, hopping to her hooves, ready to leave.

Weiss raises an eyebrow. "What's got you so happy today, Fizzy? You're practically bouncing."

Tempest restrains herself from blushing. "None of your concern, sir. Just some good news."

He doesn't need to know that the twenty-something year old grown mare got her Cutie Mark last month. A glass bottle with a spinning ball of magical sparkles bouncing around in it.

He also doesn't need to know that she only just realized it yesterday when she saw it in the mirror and had been, before then, walking around ignorant of the fact for weeks.

Definitely not.


"So you can't make it? ~ Even with this example? ~ It's a good sample," Weiss says, holding up the diamond-shaped piece of Unicorn Crystal.

Zecora shakes her head. "To make that gem through Alchemy... ~ It is a feat that's beyond me.

"My pot, too small, it's fire, too cold, ~ My tools, such power, they could not hold."

Weiss scratches his chin.

"I could make a pot ~ It's fire would be blazing ~ Are your skills enough?" He asks, setting it on her table.

She stares at it, her eyes filled with an invisible light. The telltale sign of Zebra Cleverness Magic at work.

"I can see Liquid Rainbows. ~ Refined with Solid Shadows.

"A sphere made of Againte, ~ Holding Auroral Dente

"Mixed with magic from a pony's horn, ~ Creates Crystal of the Unicorn."

Finishing her analysis of the crystal, she blinks her eyes as they start to water from how firmly she was staring, and the magic coursing through her eyes while she did so.

"I am sorry about that. ~ Like being clawed by a cat," Zecora mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

"It's not a problem. ~ I'll get you the stuff you need. ~ Have a nice day, yeah?" Weiss says, waving as he picks up his crystal and leaves.

"Auroral Dente, huh? Well, I know where to get some of that. I'm sure she's itching for a rematch, if I set it up right..." Weiss says to himself, pondering how this is literally going to be like pulling teeth.


Twilight is confused when Spike belches up a letter, and slightly scared as well.

She unrolls the scroll which seems, at least on the surface, to be written by Princess Celestia herself.

"Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Captain Shining Armor." Spike reads off.

"What?!" Twilight shouts, confused and more than a little upset, snatching the paper out of Spike's hands.

Twilight growls. "Why am I getting a wedding invite now of all times? This is completely ridiculous, and Shiny couldn't even be bothered to tell me himself?" She shouts, uncomprehending.

"Isn't he still-" Spike starts, before the two hear a loud crash.

Rushing downstairs, Twilight is shocked to see her brother, hogtied and squirming on the floor of the library, a letter hotglued to his forehead, and safety glass sprayed all over her good flooring.

The letter just says "You just got Punk'd, and the wedding invite was faked, but your bro is totally hooked up with Cupid, that part wasn't part of the Punking.

Love Weiss."

Twilight unties her brother in a panic, him spitting out the skull-shaped ball-gag with disdain, finding it to have been completely unnecessary for Tempest to include that.

"I can't believe Weiss did this!" Twilight shouts, brushing her brother off as he stumbles to his hooves, shaking his head.

"Well, he is a violent criminal, sis." Shining Armor states, confused when Twilight ignores him and picks up a large chunk of broken glass, tasting it.

"He replaced my windows with sugar glass for this stupid prank!" She shrieks, tugging at her mane as she scoops it all up and flings it out of the window, where, in the distance, Pinkie can be heard briefly yelping in pain, before humming with satisfaction when she begins eating the glass. Those hums are then followed with more yelps of pain from eating the sharp sugar glass. The pattern continues from there.

She takes several deep breaths, before forcing herself to cheer up. "BBBFF!"

Shining Armor smiles as well. "Sup, LSBFF?"

Twilight pouts. "What's this about a wedding?"

Shining Sweats. "Wedding? I haven't even popped the question yet, there's no wedding!"

Twilight's eyebrow quirks. "What's this about a marefriend?"

Shining's sweatdrop increases in it's intensity, prepared to ascend to the next level. "Would you believe me if I said... I forgot to mention it?"

Twilight's slow walk to the kitchen and angry whump onto a chair imply that the answer to that question is "No".

"Can I at least send a letter to the princess, so she doesn't start hostage negotiations without me?" Shining pleads.


Celestia is nervous, what her sister is suggesting is utterly insane.

"Luna, are you certain about this?" She asks, making Luna nod mischievously.

"If he wanted to teach us a lesson, then what better way to disarm him than to learn it?"

"But claiming it was merely a failed test of our defenses? There isn't a pony in Canterlot that's going to believe that!"

Luna shakes her head. "They'll believe it because it's the truth, and Weiss will fail to distort it because it is the truth.

"He's playing villainy as a hobby, sister. He said so much himself. This is a political and moral trap, and he knows it. He can't deny us thanking him publicly for putting Canterlot's finest to the test. Not without going against his core nature. The importance he places on debts and justice bind him as firmly as any Elements could, and he announced your debt paid."

She jabs her sister in the side. "All you have to do is not counterattack when he inevitably grows incensed and strikes you on the spot."

Celestia pouts. "You're acting like I'm some sort of pit bull."

Luna's eyebrows could lift the moon right now, if it were supported on them. "I'm not finding evidence to the contrary."

Celestia's pout grows. "Fine.

"I'll turn the other cheek, just this once."

Celestia sighs, after a few moments of silence between the royal sisters.

"I hope you're right about this 'Defeating him, sister." Celestia pleads, her mind burdened with heavy thoughts.

"I am, sister. Now, put on your armor, if you are to establish a new reputation, then you should look the part.

"...And I'll do all of the work while you gallivant around." She finishes, muttering to herself before Celestia pokes her in the side in retaliation, making her jump in shock.

Celestia shakes her head at Luna. "I'm afraid not, sister, we're not getting back into that habit. You'll be coming with me, and you'll get your fair half of the glory."

This heralds in Luna's turn to be nervous. "I..."

Celestia's face firms. "You'll come with me. We cannot leave that vault in his hands, and I don't dare to attempt this without you."

A letter appears in front of the duo, which Celestia unrolls and reads, before smiling, slightly happier from the news she received. "Oh good, I don't have to rescue Shining Armor. Weiss fenstrated him into Twilight's home."

Luna glares at her sister. "That is not how you use that word, sister."

A few moments staring at her sister's carefully crafted face forces Luna to finally sigh. "Fine. Someone needs to keep you in check, if you're going to expose yourself to Weiss Noir's unfiltered personality."


'Ok, where's the fucking camera?' Weiss thinks to himself, his paranoia ramped up to staggering new heights when he finds Celestia and Luna knocking on his door like sane individuals who he didn't just last month attack with chemical weapons and cause mass property damage to.

This has to be a prank.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Princess Luna? 'Princess' Celestia?" he asks, putting the second "princess" in air quotations, after he invites them into a side office for privacy.

Celestia takes a deep breath, before throwing her best smile at Weiss. Interesting, she's not using her magic to hide her expression? "Oh, we're here to invite you to be publicly thanked, Weiss.

"Your volunteering has helped us so dearly, to allow us learn the faults of the Equestrian Royal Guard."

Luna picks up where Celestia left off. "It wasn't for your noble and sanctioned efforts, we would never have considered ushering in a modern day revival of the ancient Alicorn Pact of Combat," Luna explains.

"Alicorn Pact of Combat, you mean that excuse you used to ditch court to beat up bad guys? Wait, sanctioned? I blasted your fucking castle to pieces!" Weiss says in disbelief, his mind rapidly trying to piece out just what their game is.

"Oh Weiss, if we hadn't approved of it, then why was the castle evacuated, and why didn't you sack the city afterwards?" Luna poses, rhetorically.

Celestia continues from there. "I dare say, our coordinated efforts to ensure the quality of the castle's defenses didn't cause so much as a single Bit of civilian property damage."

Weiss slams his fist on the table. "Because you were the only target!" he shouts,

"And now our debts are squared. I see no reason to hold a bit of property damage against you, when it's helped us so very much." Celestia smiles.

"I've really learned a valuable lesson from all of this, you see. I've spent far too long taking what you do personally, when I should be seeing it as...

"Constructive criticism."

Weiss fists shudder. "Care to put that to the test, you sanctimonious bitch?"

Celestia titters lightly.

"If you wish, but I don't think you'll like the result," She warns.

"Oh I think I will," Weiss says, his fist snapping out with a black shine erupting over the scales and skins on the moment of impact, snapping Celestia's head to the side.

His expression grows angrier by the minute when she simply dabs at her face with a summoned handkerchief.

"I did warn that you wouldn't enjoy the result, Weiss. I'll hope to see you in Canterlot tomorrow, so you may be thanked properly. For now, I have a student to meet." She says, walking out of the room with grace and civility, leaving Luna behind in the silent office.

Luna's eyebrows raise almost imperceptibly when Weiss picks up the teeth off of the floor that he had punched out of Celestia's mouth, dumping them into hastily assembled portals.

"You weren't supposed to come out of isolation, Luna. Who cracked your shell? My plans don't account for you being in public just yet," Weiss says simply, not bothering with subterfuge against Luna of all ponies.

Why would he?

Luna keeps her tone even. "You did. Did you think I could ignore my sister in her time of need after what you did?"

Weiss smacks his forehead with a palm. "Of course.

"I'm terrible at accounting for that sort of thing. It's so much easier for me to plan around a pony's flaws when I can isolate them."

"I'm aware, Weiss," Luna states.

Weiss's eyes cut to the princess. "Then why are you still here? Shouldn't you be leaving with your 'dear sister'?"

"Nightmares have been on the rise lately, and Chapter Black has all but disappeared in the months following my return. I believe these events are connected." Luna says out of the blue.

Weiss raises his eyes. He had heard that name before when researching this era's dark magic. Some bullshit Illuminati-style organization that arose from the corpse of his Shadow Realm hundreds of years ago.

A bunch of Earth-ponies pretending they deserve the name "Longma" and pushing for less regulations on Dark Magic, on the premise of fulfilling their "Ancestral Culture".

"Why should I care what a bunch of Shadow Realm cosplayers are doing? Maybe I should go and thank them, they've really been putting boots to asses in the courts for loosening up your anal-retentive Dark Magic laws."

Luna's half-lidded stare turns knowing. "Sunset Shimmer helped us realize that they've been censoring and altering the published copies of the Grimoire Noir that are available to the public. Do you really think ponies can perform the acts of good you dreamed of, without your dark bible to guide them?"

A tremor runs through Weiss's body at Luna's words. Some old, murky heartstring, plucked harshly, ringing true despite how long it had gone untuned.

If Luna wanted to turn Weiss's vengeful eye on Chapter Black for defiling the Shadow Realm's memory, then by god she succeeded.

"If you behave at the ceremony tomorrow, we'll be announcing a publication of your original draft of the Grimoire Noir that Sunset has spent the last three weeks in a sleepless haze translating from scratch."

So that's what Sunset's been doing. Weiss hadn't seen her since the attack.

"Luna, I wrote the book, you can't tell me all of the spells in there are legal," Weiss explains, as if trying to teach a particularly slow parrot to say 'Bribery'.

She shrugs. "Then we will end up handing out more fines than usual."

Weiss balks at this. "Luna, some of those spells were illegal in the Shadow Realm!"

"Then they will be large fines."

With that, Luna turns and walks out of the room.

For once, Weiss is at a complete loss of what to do next, sweat dripping down his neck in the most annoying fashion as the wheels turn in his head to no avail. There's no justice to be had here, no flaws to capitalize on, or errors to be chastised.

Celestia wasn't supposed to own up to her mistakes, she was supposed to fall into despair!

Luna wasn't supposed to break free from her isolation yet, she was supposed to wallow in guilt and stay out of Weiss's way!

They did the right thing, and it's pissing him off.

But more terrifyingly...

Luna.

She was acting just like she did before Pluck Night. Compassionate to a fault, and quick with a joke.

If he's not careful, he might start acting that way again too.


As Luna walks out of the room, sweat drips down her forehead, in spite of the three separate freezing charms she had placed on herself to prevent that. Despite everything Weiss had done, despite everything he was still doing.

Even considering what he'll do next, he was acting just like he did before Pluck Night. Petty to a fault, and quick with a joke.

If she's not careful, she might just start acting that way again too.


"It's been nice, getting the chance to catch up with you, Twilight!" Shining Armor shouts behind the over turned table, taking care not to step on the broken teacups and puddles of coffee.

"Likewise, Shiny!" Twilight retorts, halfway embedded in a wall nearby from their heated discussion.

Summoning a quick barrier, Shining Armor vacates out the window he came in through before Twilight can throw anything heavier at him.

He lands in front of Princess Celestia, who seems to be decked out in a full suit of golden armor, the only thing missing being her own crown.

"Hello, Captain Shining Armor. I trust Twilight is in?" She asks, prompting the unicorn to salute.

"Yes, Princess," He admits.

Celestia nods. "Good. As you were."

With that, Celestia walks past the captain and swings the door open wide.

When Twilight's eyes widen at the sight of her teacher, her fear levels spike to incredible heights, a spike ever sharpened by Celestia's next words.

"Twilight, come with me, if you would. I have something important to discuss with you."


As Celestia pulls open the tent and plants it in the middle of a clearing in White-Tail Woods, she fails to utter so much as a word. In fact, Celestia hadn't said a thing since she had ordered Twilight out of the Library to come with her, and they proceeded to walk for over an hour to this destination.

Twilight's pretty sure several horror stories have begun with this exact premise.

She's growing more and more concerned that she's about to be one of them.

Celestia, ignorant of her student's internal monologue, finishes setting up the tent, before finally turning to Twilight and spreading out a large blanket.

"Sit," Celestia requests firmly, making the unicorn plop down in an instant on the blanket along with her mentor.

Celestia takes a long, painful few minutes to decide exactly what she's going to say, before sighing and deciding to improvise.

"You've been made privy to a side of me that nopony from your generation has ever seen. It's a side of me that your parent's generation has never seen, nor their parents."

"You were witness to me fighting seriously for the first time in a long time."

Twilight gulps. "It was.."

Celestia visibly rolls her eyes. Something Twilight has also never seen her teacher do.

"It was terrifying, yes, Twilight. That's very well the point. To be perfectly honest, I'm sick of ponies being frightened of me when I haven't done anything to them. But more importantly, I'm sick of you being frightened of me. So here we are."

"You ask your questions, and I'm going to answer them. And we're going to keep doing that until nothing is left to the imagination regarding what you saw that day."

Twilight's burning curiosity flares up uncontrollably. If the princess wanted somepony to ask questions, then by Celestia they picked the right mare.

"Why did you look so monstrous? You looked like... Well, you know, a Princess Celestia version of Nightmare Moon! I'm not mistaken about that, the resemblance was uncanny," Twilight presses, starting with the most obvious thing to haunt her nightmares.

Celestia responds without decorum or hesitation. "That is the end result of myself and my sister having spent years collecting and refining a list of magic spells we refer to as the Alicorn Suite.

"The strongest bodily augmentation magic from across all three tribes of Equestria, tailored to give us the best chance possible of defeating what plagued it in the ancient past. Starswirl's Wizard Eyes technique, and a practical application of his famous Furnace Follicle Folly paradox."

Celestia hums, trying to remember all of the names. "Sir Predator's Sharp Haste, Hammer Crash's Blunt Body, the Rebreather charm, one of Weiss's creations, as a matter of fact."

Twilight's eyes have lit up at the thought of all that magic. "I've never even heard of some of those spells!"

Celestia relaxes, now that Twilight seems to have finally relaxed a bit herself. "Yes, that would be because, for whatever reason, there has been a great deal of magic that has simply been redefined as nonmagical tricks in recent years. It's certainly annoying when to obtain the latest information on Earth Pony Magic, you must turn to an almanac instead of an arcane tome."

Celestia tries to think of a clearer example. "The Apple Family consistently rewards my guard with some of the finest users of the Lucky Shot kick that exist in Equestria, for example. How else could they simply buck an entire tree of apples into a few small barrels?"

Twilight balks. "That's magic?! I thought... Well, I don't know what I thought, but I didn't think Applebucking was a spell...

"But, why aren't there any researchers, then, if it's really Earth Pony Magic, shouldn't there be, teachers, wizards?"

Celestia chuckles. "There are, they've just been calling themselves farmers instead."

Twilight looks vastly unsatisfied with this answer, but the wheels are already in motion in the little purple pony's mind.

Celestia decides it's time to move on to the next part of this discussion, one she had struggled with for a week, trying to decide if it was the right thing to do. "The way I see it, Twilight, the easiest way for you to overcome your fear is to experience casting the Alicorn Suite yourself."

Twilight's face scrunches up with pure befuddlement. "You mean the unicorn portions of it?"

"No." Celestia states, with all the finality of a lock snapping shut.

"Now, be gentle with these, as they weren't easy to obtain," She continues, slowly pulling out an assortment of glowing spheres in her magic.

Twilight's eyes widen. "Materia? How did you get your hooves on that many of them?"

Celestia smiles faintly. "I decided not to dismiss Weiss's advice."


Celestia's blood is quite literally boiling at the sight of what Weiss has done to her Vault. More importantly, what he didn't do to it, which was leave it capable of containing some of the darkest relics in Equestria.

And he didn't even take them all.

But the biggest cherry on this cowpatty cake is the Heart-shaped bit-store Hearts-and-Hooves Day card that Weiss left in the twisted and mangled vault.

"I thought that since you were now a student of the Grimoire Weiss, that you would have no further use for my old junk. It shouldn't be a problem for such an avid reader of my work to recreate anything they might have needed!

Yours truly, Weiss Noir"

This letter marked a distinct dip in Celestia's mood as hazmat-suited AMMO employees carefully picked through the vault to archive all of the relics that Weiss didn't even bother to steal. It seems he really did only take two things.

Everything that came from the Shadow Realm or from Weiss Noir himself... And the Alicorn Amulet.


"I've since taken the time to cultivate some of the Timeshift Crystals that were still in the low-security vault," Celestia explains.

"These spheres contain every spell contained within the Alicorn Suite. Some of them older than Equestria. Some, like the bone regeneration spell, I only added last month."

"According to both the Grimoire Weiss and the Grimoire Noir, Materia can allow their user to cast spells that they otherwise could not. It is only the Grimoire Weiss that revealed the breadth of this capability. You'll be able to cast the entire Alicorn Suite using these Materia, and it is my hope that this will help you understand them better, and me as well."

Celestia sighs, a certain vulnerability entering her expression. "Fear cannot survive understanding, Twilight. I want you to understand me, I want that very much. Are you willing to..?"

After a long moment's hesitation, which feels to Celestia like physical pain, Twilight finally picks up one of the glassy glowing orbs, looking curiously into her teacher's eyes. "What does this spell do, Princess Celestia?"


Meanwhile, in the bowels of Canterlot, in a dripping, dark place, two ponies who have no public connection speak quietly.

"So, it's true, then? The Dark Lord has returned?"

"I believe so, but they are not as the sacred texts describe.

"Perhaps the Elements of Harmony warped them."

"If so, then he's useless to us. Have our allies found the amenities to their liking, Gourmet?"

"Very much so. I dare say, they've done in months what we have failed to do in years."

"What else would you expect from Nightmares? Just be sure to remind them of who owns the Dark Lord's sacred Arcana. And who can destroy it, if need be."

"I'll be sure to do so, Black Angel."

Author's Note:

The song of the day is "Alchemy" from Rocket Slime.

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