//------------------------------// // (Past Chapter 46) The Thief-Witch (Part 2) // Story: The Unique Properties of Dark Magic // by Shadestyle //------------------------------// "Galchemist779" logged off the dream crystal with a small yawn, and a smaller, but genuine smile. She had just finished speaking to a pony named "Rain nor Sleet", who said that he would have her marked down for home delivery! She felt so much tension bleed out of her shoulders at that. All she had to do was keep away from her door every so often, and her sundries would be delivered straight to her little home. Grocery shopping? Scavenging for alchemy supplies? A thing of the past for Malusi! It would have been unthinkable anywhere else on the planet, where there wasn't a multi-million-bit industry of magical technology able to use golems or portals or whatever it was they used to deliver things inside the Shadow Realm's deep tunnels. She didn't really care about the how, so much as the what, and what it meant was simple. No more going out, no more temptations, no ponies, zebras, griffons or what have you meant no one to rob and poison! She wasn't sure how hard it would be, living alone like that, but already, she felt so much better, just knowing she wouldn't have to go out there with all those leering eyes and fat pockets. The sort of fat pockets that just begged to be emptied, and the sort of glares that just begged to be splashed with a pint of gender-bendzene. She shook her head. "Nope, not going to let it bottle me one bit. No matter how bad it gets now, distill won't be a problem. I don't need to go out, so I don't need to pun-ish anyone," she says loudly, to herself, shaking away the thoughts that threatened to bring down her mood. Walking over to her couch in a light trot, she hopped on top and let out a sigh as the rock-gossamer cloth of the cushions settled around her like a blanket stuffed with clouds. She had made a friend or two, though, they all wanted to 'meet up' outside of the virtual dream, and that was a non-option. They were polite enough, and the odd games she could play on the virtual dream were such a delightful way to waste time, even if the potion-brewing in those games was... Well, quite frankly, ridiculous. With another sigh, she forced herself to lean up. There was work to be done that she couldn't quite do while laying about. She sat there for a few more minutes, before making her way to her little corner of the apartment, which had become devoted to her alchemy work. While food, shelter, and dream crystals all came free, there were things a mare couldn't help but want. Fancy clothes, odd trinkets, exotic dishes and drinks. For that, you needed "GP", the golden currency of the Shadow Realm. To obtain it, Malusi had robbed quite a few ponies already, but every time she used that money, she felt like something was tearing its way through her innards, with the stress that came with it. Selling potions and other alchemical goodies was a far better way to go about it, if she could find a way to sell it without actually meeting anyone else. The Arcana Nox and its dreamlike virtual realm was incredibly promising, and she was intent on at least trying to produce some potions that weren't meant to hilariously curse their drinker. "Lustrous Feather Tonic? No, it quill use up too much of my pearl jam... I'll have to chick if any of the shops carry it." As she mused on what exactly she would mix up today, a shadow seemed to sweep across the room. She felt an odd chill, but was too distracted by the clever magic surging through her eyes to think about it too much. "Oh! Scale Shine Soup! Let's see, turtle-tinted-turmeric, I've shell-ly got some of that laying around. Lizard lips, kiss that goodbye," she dumped the ingredients into a simple crystal pot, watching them come to a boil. Little sparks of magic danced before her eyes as she picked the perfect ingredients to brew her potion of choice. The shadow grew closer, and her breath misted in front of her. "Maybe just a... pinch of..." her voice trails off. "...crab cream." She turned around slowly, breath catching in her throat... There was nothing behind her. "Whew," Malusi let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "What's cookin'?" a smooth voice rang out from right next to her, and she froze, terror gripping her heart. She screamed, and instinctively flung a bottle at the pony next to her, without even looking at who it was. As she scrambled to get away, the bottle shattered on them, and instantly, they turned into a black chicken. The zebra leapt over the couch, and only once behind it even bothered to look back, fearfully. She noticed her hatch was pulled open, revealing the king's ransom of treasure she had amassed. The dark chicken approached slowly, and she could feel something cold and deadly in the air, as if a claw were gripping her heart. "Really?" the chicken said, looking at themselves. "Wait, why am I a black chicken? Let me guess, too much tar, not enough feathers?" he asked rhetorically, before collapsing into smoke, and making the zebra scream again, backing away from the smoke spreading across the floor. It re-congealed, turning into a pony she had only seen in holographic images before. The lord of the Shadow Realm. The Sage of Darkness. Weiss Noir. As he approached, and it sunk in what was happening to Malusi, who noted the self-locking doors doing what they did and locking themselves at his command, she chuckled, slightly hysterically. She didn't want to be banished again. Not when things were finally changing. "So, after months of searching through every single log of every single camera of every single zone that those damn fools were gallivanting around in, I finally found the person who stole my Chaos Emeralds from the people who stole them in the first place. The person who has apparently been quite busy. Very very busy. The zebra who, if I'm being honest, would absolutely have gotten away with it if not for her, shall we say, noteworthy infamy," he grinned. "Do you have anything to say for yourself, dear? Because I have quite the offer to make to you, an offer you won't be refusing, and I'd like to hear what you've got to say, before I make my pitch" he asked in a chilling tone, with a thin, humorless smile plastered over his face. He would have his third council member today. The zebra's mind was fried with fright, and, spotting the black feathers still stuck in Weiss Noir's burning mane, she blurted out, before she could consider the virtues of keeping her mouth shut, "W-well, looks like I've got-" She swallowed. "-e-egg on my face." The sage paused, his looming aura cut through like a knife. Then, something odd happened. He blinked once, then twice, before plucking one of the feathers off of his head. Malusi watched with confusion as the sage began to laugh, low at first, and then helplessly loud. "T-that couldn't have been on purpose, right?!" he said, taking deep breaths as he leaned over, hands on the ground to hold him up. Malusi hesitantly responded. "W-well, if you've been chicken me out, you'd k-know feather or not I p-pecked puns as my clever challenge of choice." She was confused as the sage began to laugh again, a much more restrained, but equally mirthful thing. He found her puns funny? That, of all things, is what blew away the sheer malevolence suffusing him, moments ago? Everyone hated puns! Especially the bad ones! It's the lowest form of comedy, and even she only chose them out of bitterness. She couldn't have known, but in that moment, her fate had changed. Weiss Noir had changed his mind. "I'm sorry for the rude arrival. Do you mind if we sit and talk, ma'am? I think we got off on the wrong hoof," Weiss finally said, walking around the couch, and growing a throne of purple crystal from the ground in front of it. In-between it and the couch, a table sprouted as well, followed by two tall glasses. Malusi was terrified and confused, but not just the animalistic panic of being suddenly frightened, but the bone-deep fear of facing this land's ruler, with her unveiled pile of stolen goods sitting exposed mere feet away. She walked mechanically to the couch and sat down, stiff and unsure. Weiss, however, looked casual, and, one might even say, pleased. With a whispered word that Malusi didn't recognize, a portal ripped free in the air, and dropped a bottle down onto the table, which he filled the two glasses with. "Relax. I've decided I won't be punishing you, nor, as I've been cleverly insisting I now do, will I be 'rewarding' you. I'd really like to talk, now," he said, pushing the glass over to her. Picking it up, the zebra took a careful sniff of the glass for any poisons, but, unable to detect any in her current state of mind, finally shrugged, and took a sip. It bubbled, and had an odd chalky taste that wasn't quite to her liking, like a drink half-finished, or improperly made. Weiss seemed to notice her expression, and looked a bit saddened. "Over a hundred years and an entire wing of scientists, and I still haven't managed to figure out quite how a good soda is made. Sorry about that, dear," he said, drinking his own glass with practiced ease. "So, you're the one they call Thiefwitch Malusi, right?." he began, trailing off with a questioning tone. She winced. "I can't help it. By hook or crook, I just... I can't resist. I don't want this." He smiles. "Is that so?" The awkward silence drags on, until he breaks it once more. Where others might need a bit more information, he could already see the darkness in her. Self-Loathing, one of the strongest of all dark emotions, from his perspective. One of the least pleasant to experience. "Would you like to hear about how I am evil, Malusi?" he began, confusing the mare immediately once more. "What do you mean? I would assume from what I've heard that you are beloved, moral-ess," she punned in response. But her interest was piqued nonetheless. He just smiled "I am evil. Evil with a capital 'E'. Some of the things I did should have gotten me turned to stone, if you ask me. I am cursed. Until the day Sombra, the dark king of monsters, is defeated, I will continue to become more like him. Day by day, hour by hour. Every once in a while, laying in my bed, I can almost feel my humanity slipping away. I am to share that vile cretin's fate." Malusi's ears quirked at the odd word, but she intuited its meaning through context. Humanity... "But do you want to know... What makes it all worthwhile? What makes me stand here, pretending that I'm still a good pony deep down inside? What lets me try to do what I assume is the right thing, rather than consigning myself to oblivion, before it's too late?" She didn't answer, but she doesn't have to. The sage was doing as he had always done. Perceiving the weaknesses of those around him. "I reveled in it. I took it for my own!" The sage threw his glass to the side, where it shattered into a million pieces. "I am the Sage of Darkness! A master of Dark Magic! I rule over a realm of hatred, and the hateful are my charge! I have lost all I had loved, and cast aside all that I might love once more! You say I am beloved? So be it!" he roared. "I know what I am becoming. I will become it in the manner of my choosing!" he stood up from the throne, while the zebra listened, frozen in place. "You are a thief-witch! You tell me you've done as they claim in all but confession itself, and yet here you sit, cowering at your own malicious self! Do you think I despise you? That I hate you!? No, as the lord of hatred, let me inform you in the simplest possible terms..." He throws the table aside, and stomps up to the zebra. He looks at the alchemy tools, at the pile of stolen treasures. At the fragments of the potion bottle that turned him into a chicken. At the fragments of his glass of soda, which had been quietly poisoned with a potion that turned him polkadot colors when he wasn't looking. "I like your style, Malusi. Would you like to join me?" he asked, thrusting out an open palm to the zebra, who he at long last deemed a worthy mare. She would be the first. The first to join his council, while still in the land of the living. An evil he could stand by without disgust. With pride, perhaps. "I... I don't want to steal from anyone, or poison anyone... But I will. I can't help it. Even you. I fear I will betray whatever trust you give me. I can't stop myself from doing as I do. I only want mercy, please." Her lack of puns made clear the crisis she was facing. Weiss's eyes only grew more alight. "Exactly! That's precisely why! Join me, Malusi, act as my counsel, steal, poison, and betray me to your heart's content, if only slightly less than you aid me and my cause! I have seen your evil, and I've decided I quite adore it!" he laughs. She hadn't considered something like that in her life, ever before. She knew it was wrong. Stealing was wrong, spiking zebras' drinks with potions was wrong! Why was this feeling welling up, what was it? "N-no! I was turning things around, I was going to sell potions, no more being a thief or a witch, make an honest life here, my lord. I'm trying to be good..." she said, staring at the hand with wide eyes. "Dear... You may not realize it yet, but you're exactly like the puns you speak so often..." he said, almost hypnotically. "When you're good, you're good..." His eyes, and hers by association, trailed off to the hoard of glittering treasure, and atop it, the seven Chaos Emeralds that she had so trivially stolen, and hid for months without so much as a hint of their presence. His eyebrow quirked, and he noted a watch, a set of keys, and a black pouch of GP, now atop the pile. She somehow picked his pockets... He didn't even have any pockets, he kept it in the hammerspace ponies used to keep stuff behind their backs! She could even pickpocket that! With surprise and glee, he leered. "But when you're bad, you're better." It didn't seem to be getting the reaction he had hoped for, so he switched tracks, and his voice became something softer, and more delicate. Something vulnerable, with a raw hint of pain, underneath. "Just because you should be hated, does not mean you have to hate yourself, Malusi. Can you not be happy, even if you cannot be good?. She looked uncertain still, but the walls were cracking. Something malevolent was peaking out from behind them. "Your heart still works, doesn't it? Tell me if that really sounds so awful," Weiss asked genuinely, his hand still outstretched to the mare. 'Happy...' she thought to herself. Hoof met hand, and, that night, after a lot of talking, Weiss wrote in his little white book, the Grimoire Weiss. Entry Number Five-hundred and Ninety-Nine, Year Two-hundred and Eighty-five. "I met the most wonderful person. A zebra named Malusi. She tried to rob me, poison me, and then rob me again. "And that was in the same day... She's a real angel." "Ahh, King... Grover the Third? I'm remembering correctly, yes? To what do I owe the pleasure?" Weiss asked, sitting in his office chair, as the ruler of Griffonstone leered at him over the illusory projection they were using to communicate. With the Idol of Boreas gone, the effects had been apparent and growing for years. The magical pride of the griffons was giving way to greed once more, and their ruler showed it in spades, with his thin, reedy appearance. Without the pool of pride bolstering him, the body was no longer as valuable as the treasury. "Yes, well, I've come to you with a rather grim matter. The power of the Idol is waning, and with it, undesirable elements have begun to appear in my kingdom. Or rather, they have begun to leave it," the sickly looking king said, tapping his talons on the table. "A kingdom requires taxes to function, and yet, with your realm's vast means of transportation, its fantastically lazy tools, and the ease by which one may become a member of it in full, I have noted that a large number of griffons are fleeing to your realm to escape tax debts, as their greed overwhelms them." The sage pretended to listen, nodding in all the right places. The Idol wasn't waning, it was gone, gone to who knows where. Weiss already tried checking the gorge it had fallen down in the original timeline, but it was nowhere to be found there, nor anywhere else he thought to check. In short, this Grover was full of it. "Now, that kerfuffle with those emerald whatsits was a problem, yes, but one you cleaned up quite admirably. That, I certainly respect, and as such, I have made sure that it remains a quietly kept little secret. Just between us, you see. In return, I would ask a favor for you. Until the Idol's power begins to wax once more, and returns to us the pride of Griffonstone, I would ask of you a tribute. To make up there, what is lost in the tax haven your realm represents," the king said pleasantly. Weiss smiled. "I see. Thank you for your prudence. I, as the Shadow Realm's ruler and administrator, shall do all in my power to secure your tribute, oh King Grover, the Third." He waited patiently as the sage began tapping away at a small keyboard made of carved obsidian. "Oh, did you have a tribute in mind? I would hate for us to misunderstand one another. I suspected a 20% tax would do, but a bit more shouldn't make too much of a difference," the sage mused, watching as the King barely kept from salivating at the number. "No, that would be fantastic, actually!" he nodded rapidly. "Good, good. There, the job is done. Give the people a minute to vote," Weiss requested, as the king's expression dropped. 'Vote?' went through the griffon ruler's mind. Was the sage really going to pull this nonsense even behind closed doors? "Pardon?" he asked, hoping for clarification. On the holographic screen, a large red bar began to rapidly grow, numbers swelling with every second. "Mmm. Well, that's looking quite unfortunate," Weiss Noir said, turning the screen around to face the Griffonstone Ruler. "Would you all like to pay a 20% tax to give tribute to Griffonstone?" the question at the top of the screen read, alongside a live poll, and a small document detailing the rationale as to why it was needed. There hadn't been a single vote for "yes" in the time it had been up. "Well, the people have spoken. You do recall that my role as ruler is only to pose such questions to the public, and interpret their wishes, yes? I will allow this poll to continue for a few days longer, but I can't help but suspect what the results will be," Weiss asked, steepling his hands. Grover's face turned from pleasant to nasty. "You would mock me? Of course they would not vote for such a thing themselves, they don't know any better!" Weiss smiled. "Unfortunate, is it not? Alas, we two rulers are quite helpless. The griffons leave your kingdom, the ponies do not vote for twenty-percent taxes in mine... What wretched peasants, is that what you would like me to say?" The king sputtered angrily. Weiss slammed a hand onto his desk, the keyboard below it crunching into uselessness. "Get the fuck off the line. I've got other callers waiting for me." King Grover the third glared. "So be it." With a bleep, the holographic line went dead. "Well, that went well," Weiss said, stretching as he stood up from his desk, and trotted over to a nearby portal station. It opened to what must have been half a zone of nothing but alchemy equipment. In it, he could hear the gleeful laughter of none other than "Councilman Oh Lord", or, as she was known to him, Councilmare Malusi. At the same time, he dropped the illusory magic that kept him from appearing to be a sheep. Someone had poisoned him with a polymorphic potion so strong, even shifting forms as a shadow clone proved unable to keep him from turning back into a literal "black sheep". "What's got you so cheery? Are you going to explain why I had to use an illusion to cover up the potion you slipped in my coffee?" he asked, watching the zebra slide down one of the ladders leading up to a gigantic vat. "I did it, my lord, I finally did it. It's still brewing, but soon, I'll proof my worth... This will set the bar for alchemy, for decades to come... Have I stirred your interest yet?" Weiss huffed. "Yes, I'm shaken, over ice, stick a lime on me and rim the glass, could you tell me what it is you've actually been working on now?" he joked. Malusi frowned, and huffed. "You want some cheese with that whine? I've brie-n coming up with a whey to do the single most forbidden thing I could possibly think of. I know you only cask-ed for my expertise in potioneering, but I must do more. Do you recall, how awful your alchemy is?" "Hey, if it works it works," Weiss said heatedly. They had argued long into the night over that particular irksome problem. Namely, Weiss's "Test everything and see what sticks" method of inventing new magical substances. "It doesn't," she smirked. "Bott-I'll make it work," she said, grabbing him and dragging him over to where she had lit lamps filled with incense, carved runes and channels into the floor, and filled them with all manner of things. "I'm going to make you feel clever, my lord. Perhaps even as clever as me." she said, excited, but with an undercurrent of something else that he immediately picked up on. 'A test...' he thought. If she gave him access to Zebra Cleverness Magic, he wouldn't need a zebra alchemist anymore. He could simply do it himself. "This is beyond even my wildest hopes, Malusi, and yet... If you were to use this ritual to give me even a bare whisper of what you're claiming, how could I possibly reward you?" "G-if-t you must give me something, I only ask you continue giving me your mercy, my lord. I've got such a bad wrap, just being allowed to remain present in this place is more than I can ask," she said dismissively, spotting Weiss's twitching face a moment too late. "No. It's not enough. At least a thousand years to toy with zebra magic as I wish, the risks of what you're giving me, the worth of it is too great for me to not reward you, damn it," Weiss barked out. "You think I'm an idiot, Malusi? You're testing me. Seeing if I will cast you aside, once I've gotten what I want out of you. Seeing if I'll take the bait? Take zebra magic for myself, even knowing that it would render you obsolete. Do you really trust me that little?" He shuddered with anger. Not at her, but at the circumstances themselves, that would turn a mare with such potential into this wilting wretch. "You leave me no choice. Come with me," the sage demanded, pulling her through another portal, as her fear began to grow once more. He guided her through halls, beyond portals, down stairs and into darker and darker tunnels, away from the lab he had built and supplied for her. Into a vault. "In this room is my greatest weakness, Malusi. Let it never be said that I cannot trust. Let it never be said that I cannot be trusted, by those who are worthy," he mused, opening the vault. Inside, was a single copper lamp, burning with white fire from its wick. In the corner of the room, Weiss's own sleeping body lay on a slab. Scattered around the room, various objects of indiscernible purpose were humming, pulsing, and doing all manner of magical nonsense. He levitated the copper lamp to himself, dropping it into his hand. "This is the Lamp of Life. I no longer know how much life remains inside it. Years? Decades? Perhaps even Millennia. It is the symbol of the Shadow Realm's faith in me to rule them, as long as Sombra remains unslain, so too will I. Until I avenge those I have failed, this item will keep me bound to this world. An immortal who was never meant to be." He took the lamp from its small pedestal. "Let no place be barred from you. Let no guardian stand against you. Let nothing of the Shadow Realm keep you from its warmth. So I swear on my life, and the life that has been given to me, through this lamp," he said. "Now tell me, once and for all. What shall I reward you with, Councilmare Malusi, once you've given me the forbidden secret of your kind?" he asked the shivering zebra. "In the time I've spent here, all my wildest wishes have come true. All my fears banished djinn such a short time," she finally admitted. "My only wish is to continue to live here, my only fear is that one day I will not," she said meekly. Weiss paused. "Immortality, eh? I can't say I don't blame you. It's classic for a reason. If it is within my power, then I will make it so." "Wha- No, that isn't what I meant, my lo-" He handed her the lamp, interrupting her stammering response. "For safekeeping, until I need it again. Maybe you'll figure out a potion of youth or something, if you study it," he said with a wink, before walking off, back to the lab, leaving the zebra stunned, and in possession of a relic bearing more value than anything she had ever held before. He halted, and looked back at her. "Come along, Councilmare Malusi. Weren't you going to betray Zebrakind, give me power beyond reckoning?" he said coyly. "Of course." Malusi lowered her head in a deep bow. She could do nothing else, faced with the sheer magnitude of the trust, the care that had been shown to her, in such a short time. She simply didn't have the strength of will to resist the kindness of a cruel and capricious sage. She would give him the magic she promised. She would give him everything for this trust. The ritual took very little time. Malusi brought Weiss what he needed to consume for it, in the center of a circle, carved with poems of Zebrican origin, ones that spoke of an accursed thief, ones that begged them not to steal the greatest treasure of all. Warnings, dire warnings. All ignored as, in the center of the circle, Weiss began to drink the potions, as the incense swirled around them. The blood of a zebra, of course, was the first and last ingredient. Weiss's mind burned, as he could feel his ego swell. The smug superiority of a clever mind cracking through his thoughts, giving him an entirely new emotion as Malusi's forbidden ritual whispered in his mind. 'What a familiar feeling,' Weiss thought to himself. The Unicorn Emotion of Change, which by now was an old friend. The sense of his spirit swelling, first with the vacuous hole of greed unfelt, then the burning veins of hatred unearned, then with the hollow coldness of hatred burnt away. This new splinter of what made him feel as though he were the smartest man in the world was simply another in a long line of emotions he would twist to his needs, and another that would twist him to theirs. Malusi began to extinguish the candles, one by one. She looked at him with concern. Had it worked? Was it too much for the Longma Unicorn to bear? "My lord? Are you feeling lightheaded? Say something clever," she asked. His eyes opened, and the bare glimmer of invisible light appeared behind his pupils, making them glint. "I feel more and more... ~ But the things I had once felt, ~ I feel less and less," he said, speaking in haiku. He stood, and approached his most faithful servant, who was giddy with the high of alchemical success, of a truly clever working that she had done all on her own. "Let us go out this evening for pleasure, the night is still young," he said, planning on taking the mare out to steal, poison, and revel in all those evil little urges that a couple of villains felt. A few masks, a cloak or two, and they could have quite a bit of fun. Perhaps in Griffonstone? "Of course," Malusi responded with another deep bow. "All is for my lord."