//------------------------------// // Chapter 10 // Story: Anon's Detour // by NeonDF //------------------------------// Anon could feel himself lying on something hard, his naked feet sticking from under the blanket and shivering in the morning chill. He tried to pull them back in, but his legs were numb and refused to obey. He tried to reach the blanket with his arms, but those refused to move as well. Perplexed, he then attempted to lift his head, but the neck was unexpectedly stiff and heavy, making the action impossible. After some confused introspection Anon found a group of muscles in his body that responded to his desires. An effort of will, and his eyes peeled open. There was a brown wall in front of him, and through the haze he could make out individual veins of yellow colors running up and down the organic surface. When did he switch over to wood? …right, it wasn’t his house. Memories of the past days slowly emerged from the depths of his mind. The forest, the ponies, the town, this building. Watching the alien sky. Being guided back here by the pony. Falling dead tired on some blankets heaped on the floor. Anon shut his eyes. He didn’t want to get up. Getting up meant leaving the safe spot he was in, however meager comfort it provided, and facing the unknown. Unknown creatures, unknown world. Unknown future. Anon had never felt this lost in his entire life, he always had either his home, his family or his friends to fall back on. But now, he could not even begin to guess how he would reach them from whatever place this was. While the mind was busy with depressive ruminations, the body was coming back online one system at a time. Some fifteen minutes later, it was sending urgent signals up the brain stem, demanding attention on a particular matter. Groaning quietly, Anon forced his stiff arms to move and flipped himself on his back. An unpleasant tingle signaled the return of the blood flow, and once it subsided, he was able to raise his heavy hands and wipe the crust from his eyes before taking a look around. He was lying near the wall on the second floor of the building. Looking down the blanket, he could see his naked feet peeking from underneath the far end and nearly touching the leg of the table towering above. Two feet away, under the bench, were his shoes and socks lying in a messy pile. He was too exhausted yesterday to care, and simply threw them off. Following the room with his eyes, Anon could see the countless shelves stuffed with books and the stairs leading to the bedroom floor above. He slowly pulled his eyes “up” and met a pair of living purple orbs staring at him point blank. “Fuck!” He jolted on the floor from surprise. The lavender mare was lying right there, her hooves almost touching the blanket, her purple eyes staring him down from underneath the blue bangs. There was a paper sheet hovering near the floor to her left, and a quill was darting over the sheet, occasionally pausing to take a dip into an inkwell standing nearby. With a quiet “it’s too early for this shit” Anon pushed his upper body off the ground. Ignoring the audience, he untangled himself from the sheets, shuffled towards the bench, fished out his smelly socks and sluggishly pulled them on. The latter required way too much effort as the cold feet refused to cooperate, so he had to pause for a breather before he could put on the shoes. Once that was done, he turned over to his knees, pulled a leg under himself, took a deep breath and pushed himself upwards. Once he gained vertical orientation and used the nearby wall to stabilize himself, Anon looked around and realized he had no idea how to proceed. His eyes fell on the pony, and on impulse he tried his luck. “Do you have a bathroom here?” The pony just kept staring at him, her quill furiously flying all over the page and putting down various squiggles. A moment later, however, the mare tilted her head and let out a nicker. “Figures.” Exploring it is. It’s unlikely the bathroom would be upstairs, from what he glanced there wasn’t much space up there, but Anon recalled seeing a mysterious door down in the kitchen. He took a few seconds to bend his neck this way and that to work out the kinks, then set off towards the stairs. A short descend was enough to get the blood pumping, and once he reached the bottom floor, Anon went at a bit more livelier pace straight into the kitchen. There he found the lizard creature standing on a stool near the counter. There was a cutting board in front of it, and the creature was busy dicing up a tomato with dexterity worthy of a chef. Once it was done, it raised the board and with a swift motion of its knife swiped the results into a bowl, then reached towards the other bowl for a cucumber. Deciding to ignore the scene, Anon turned to the door he has come for, walked straight towards it, grabbed the knob and with a twist pulled it open. Bingo. It definitely was a bathroom of sorts. The washbasin was easy to recognize, as well as an enormous shower stall that occupied the entirety of the far wall. However, instead of a porcelain throne he expected there was only a hole in the floor framed by a thick ceramic ring. Anon cringed. That was not going to be fun. Forty minutes later Anon came out and slammed the door behind, not looking forward to repeating the experience. First he had to figure out the proper posture for it to work, then he had to chase out the lavender mare that decided to poke her curious muzzle in at the most inconvenient moment. The worst part came later when he finished his business and realized there was no toilet paper… Anon shuddered. No amounts of soap could stop him from feeling unclean. The kitchen air was ripe with tantalizing smells. Anon briefly wondered whose idea it was to put the bathroom near where the food is prepared, but then his stomach let out a growl, and any such thoughts vacated his headspace. There was food nearby, and he was going to get it. Gliding behind the lizard that was busy frying something on the stove Anon approached the central table and saw beginnings of a breakfast. Two empty plates, a big bowl with salad, a big bowl with fruit, two empty glasses, a jug of opaque orange liquid with a distinctly citrus smell. Near the window there stood a vase stuffed with dozen different kinds of flowers, some of which Anon couldn’t recognize, but he paid them no further mind. Spotting a particularly nice apple, he shot out his hand to grab it, only to be stopped by a sudden growl. “Grrrrr…” Anon felt goosebumps travel up his spine. He carefully turned his head towards the source of the sound. It was the lizard, its emerald eyes trained on him, the slit pupils narrowed down to thin lines. “Grrrrrrrrr…” Anon moved his hand away. The growling stopped. The lizard turned back to the stove, pulled up a spatula from somewhere and began to stir the contents of a frying pan. Shaking off the stupor, Anon reached back to grab the apple. “Grrrrrr!” Pulling his hand away, Anon turned towards the creature. “What? I’m literally starving here!” The growling stopped once again, but the eyes continued to track his every movement. Anon reached out once more. “GRRRRRR!” “For fuck’s sake!” Anon threw up his hands and stomped off into the far corner of the kitchen. If he could not take the food right then, he could wait for the lizard to leave and nab it afterwards. He leaned back against a countertop and crossed his arms, putting some pressure on the stomach to quell the rising pangs of hunger. Humans were endurance predators, and Anon was a proud human. It was time to endure. Ten minutes later Anon could barely hold himself together. Whatever was cooking smelled absolutely divine; it was tickling all the right spots in his sinuses, driving the human mad with desire. Screw waiting, it was time for action! Luckily, any rash actions were nipped in the bud by the arrival of the lavender mare from downstairs. She leisurely trotted into the kitchen, sparing Anon only a passing glance, then went over to the table. A stool promptly moved out by itself from underneath the table and stopped just in time for the mare to hop up and land right on the seat. She shuffled her legs a bit, settled into a position not dissimilar from that of a sitting dog, then looked over at the lizard and let out a nicker. The lizard responded with a grunt, grabbed the sizzling pan with its bare hand and hopped off. It then dragged its stool all the way to the table before hopping back on and holding the pan out over the table. A cupboard opened underneath one of the counter tops, and out flew two small bowls followed by two forks and a spoon. The spatula rose up from where it was left near the oven and joined the other items as they neared the table. The bowls approached the big salad bowl, and the spoon darted in and began filling them with the diced vegetables. Meanwhile the spatula hovered over to the pan and began to split up the contents and divide it between the two plates. The jug with the juice ascended into the air and flew towards the glasses. The entire process took up at most fifteen seconds, and in the end there were two servings of excellent breakfast sitting on the table. Powers or not, it was nothing short of magic. Picking his jaw off the floor, Anon decided on a new name for the phenomena. Magic. The lizard grabbed its bowl in one hand, its fork in another and began to deftly work its tiny claws to shovel the contents into the widely open mouth. Meanwhile, the mare’s fork took flight, speared a small yellowish chunk from the plate and brought it up to her muzzle, where the mare took a dainty bite and began to chew slowly. With how fascinating the display was, Anon only belatedly realized one crucial detail: he has been left out. Suppressing a spike of anger, he pushed himself off from the countertop and approached the pair, stopping next to the table and looming over it, arms crossed. He stood like that for a while, and caught some glances thrown his way, but otherwise the creatures were completely ignoring him. The hunger was making Anon irritable, but, recalling yesterday’s encounter with the white mare, he took a deep breath and decided on a new approach. They can’t understand what he says, but perhaps if he asked nicely, they would understand the intonation and the message behind it? “Excuse me, I haven’t properly eaten for almost three days. May you spare something?” That got some reaction. The duo stopped, and raised their heads towards him. Anon doubled down. “Please? I’m willing to work for this food, if you want me to.” He pointed a finger to the fruit bowl for the good measure. The pair just stared at him. Then, the mare tilted her head, let out a nicker and looked at the lizard. The lizard watched him for a few long seconds, its thin slits burrowing into his soul, then let out a grunt and turned back to its food, proceeding to devour remaining salad. Presuming he got the permission, Anon let out a sigh of relief and reached for an apple. “Thank you. I’m sure-” “Grrrrrr…” His hand froze. The lizard has fixed him with its gaze and was slowly rising from its seat. Desperate, Anon pleaded again. “Please? Just one apple?” He closed his hand and put out the index finger, showing “one”. “GRRRRRRRR!” The lizard bared its teeth. It was a full set of chompers more befitting a shark. Anon felt blood freeze in his veins. He slowly pulled his hand away, and the growling subsided. He took a few steps back, and the lizard calmed down and returned to its feast, but it kept glancing his way every few seconds. “Fuck…” Clenching his hands to quell the slight trembling, Anon returned to his corner, crossed his arms, leaned back on the counter top and went over everything that has just happened. The lizard was clearly against sharing, and had an almost unnatural level of awareness. He could try waiting for them to leave, then search the kitchen for ingredients or leftovers, but what if the creature finds out? Even when he tried to grab the fruit behind its back, it was able to sense him. Anon glanced back at the table. The lizard grabbed a piece of colored glass out of somewhere and took a bite out of it, then began to chew. Each time the scaly jaws met the kitchen echoed with a sickening crunch. These teeth are not just for show. The creature was adamant on keeping him away from the food, even if the mare just ignored him for the most part. Was it some kind of guard dog? Alien lizard guard for alien pony master. Seems fitting. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it make more sense to ask the mare instead? And how would he do it, say “please” again? It’s becoming obvious they have their own kind of language, and possibly more than one, as he hasn’t heard the lizard emit any horse-like noises, only grunts and growls. Or maybe it doesn’t even speak? Humans frequently talk to their pets, and all they get in reply are barks, meows and chirps. Maybe it’s the same here? But then again, the lizard was cooking earlier… was that just some kind of sophisticated training? One could teach regular dogs and cats some neat tricks given time and effort, and various apes in the wild have a knack for making primitive tools out of sticks and stones, no training required. Did the lizard have to be sapient to cook? An audible growl from the empty stomach reminded about more pressing matters. All questions regarding the creature could wait; getting back to the mare, how would he ask for food an alien being that does not understand him? She doesn’t know English. She doesn’t take the hint. Why can’t she take the hint? It’s pretty obvious what he’s asking for. Well, to him, perhaps. These are aliens, they could be using entirely different body language. In fact, from what he saw so far, their behavior was eerily similar to that of dogs and cats. What if he tried asking like a dog, however demeaning that sounds? Anon once again recalled his parent’s pet dog. Looking back at the last twenty minutes, he actually already tried the most common tactics: hovering nearby, getting in the way, making sad noises and reaching for the food left on the table. What next, banging his feeding bowl? Anon took a look around the kitchen. There, next to the oven, was the section of the counter from where he saw the tableware fly out. Narrowing his eyes, Anon walked towards it, bent down and pulled the cupboard’s door open. There were stacks of various dishes inside as well as a holder full of assorted silverware. Grabbing a bowl and a fork for the good measure, Anon closed the door, turned towards the table, crossed the distance in three resolute steps and put the bowl down with a loud thud. The two creatures froze, then slowly raised their heads and met his expecting gaze. “Food, please.” He shook the bowl with his hand, producing a loud clatter on the hard surface. “Food. Please?” The mare looked down at the bowl. Then at the lizard. Then let out a snort. The lizard replied with a short grunt, making the mare tilt her head and emit some snorts and nickers, only to get another grunt in return. The back and forth continued for almost a minute. Anon began to suspect that they knew exactly what he wanted, but decided to play dumb and starve him out just for kicks. No matter, he could always go look for the food elsewhere. But where? The main square had food stalls, but those are bound to be guarded by someone. There was the apple farm, but he didn’t know the way back. He couldn’t just go and consult the map; it was through sheer luck he stumbled on it yesterday. Wander around until he finds a familiar landmark? There was supposed to be a river going through the town. He could simply circle the entire settlement until he stumbles on it, then it’s just following the stream to the lake, taking a left turn and following the path along the shore until it takes him back to the billboard with the map. He could figure out how to get to the farm from there. His mental planning was interrupted by sudden clatter. Looking down, he saw his bowl hovering a foot away from him, a spoon rapidly filling it with diced vegetables. Once it was done, the bowl levitated back and landed right where he had left it. Two pairs of eyes stared at him, waiting for a reaction. Anon couldn’t help but smile. He grabbed the fork from his other hand, looked at the pair, let out a short “thank you”, speared a piece of cucumber and sent it into his mouth. The salty goodness immediately exploded into a bouquet of summer flavors, and Anon couldn’t help but let out an almost indecent moan. He dug in with abandon, ignoring the wide stares and shoveling down the salad as fast as he could. It had too much salt, no dressing, and there were bits of some bitter herb mixed in. Still, it felt like the best salad he ever had.