Time to go exploring.
Mom and Dad aren't home right now. They're going to see Oswald about the eggs. Dad says they're kind of close to hatching now, so they need to help Princess Celestia keep an eye on them. They didn't make me go because if I did, I'd just be waiting around while they talked to Princess Celestia, and that would be so boring! Miss Twilight or Miss Applejack are going to check on me every few hours just to make sure that I'm not in any trouble. Or getting into any trouble.
I could not get into any trouble, and that would probably be for the best, buuuut Hearth's Warming Day is coming up, and that means presents! Ever since Dad became stupid rich after his book--like, we have so many million bits--Hearth's Warming has become totally awesome! Back at the orphanage, we'd get a present or two because ponies would donate stuff, but nothing like what I get from Mom and Dad! And Miss Twilight, and Miss Pinkie Pie, and Miss Applejack, and Grandma and Grandpa and a lot of other ponies, too!
So awesome!
With only a week to go, Mom and Dad have already done a lot of their Hearth's Warming shopping, and that means the presents are in the house somewhere. I've hidden my presents to Mom and Dad underneath my bed, so there's no way that they're gonna find them. I got Dad a novelization of one of his Earth stories that got turned into a movie, something about some guy who stabs people in the back to cut their spines, which I think is awesome, even though Mom and Dad won't let me see that movie. I got Mom a bottle of nightshade perfume because of my cutie mark. I think they'll like them.
Anyway, there's still the matter of my presents.
I nudge Mom and Dad's room open and slink in real stealthily. I guess since I'm alone and all that I don't technically need to be all stealthy, but since I'm a bat pony and all of us are pretty good at that, I do it anyway because it's fun.
Let's see. Let's see. Presents. Where would Mom and Dad have hidden their presents to me? I poke my head underneath the bed, but I don't see anything like that. Just some dust bunnies and a few little odds and ends. Nothing worth noting. Blegh. I mosey over to the extension of their bedroom. They obviously wouldn't be in their bathroom. That would just be silly. The closet is my best bet if they've actually hidden them in their room, which they probably did.
I fly up to the doorknob and turn it. I frown a little bit when the door doesn't open. It's locked, or stuck, or something! If they are in there, there's no way that I can get it. Grrr. Why is my cutie mark about poison detection, and not lockpicking? Or why not both? I would totally be okay with a cutie mark that represented both.
Grumbling to myself, I land and begin trotting out of the room. As I do, Mom's nightstand catches my eye. I know it's unlikely, but maybe there’s something hidden there. I grin and trot over to it. My grin goes away when I see that there aren't really that many places to store good presents. That's too bad. Whatever, I just need to think a little better. It doesn't look like they're in here at all. Maybe the basement or the attic? Since we moved into another Manderley that is bigger than the one we had when I first got adopted, there are more hiding places for good presents. Still, it's not like I want to peek and see all of them. That would ruin the fun of Hearth's Warming Day. I just wanna see one little measly present so I know what I'm in for.
Just as I decide to give up and check other parts of the house, I notice something on the top of the table. It's a bracelet with charms on it. One that looks like a pony and another that looks like a human. I think I've seen it once or twice when I've been in here before, but I've never given it too much thought. It's not like I ever see Mom wearing it or anything. So why would she just have it out?
Hmm. Weird. Maybe there's something cool about it?
I reach out and grab the bracelet. Nothing magical happens when I do. It just looks like an ordinary bracelet. Shrugging to myself, I slip the bracelet over my foreleg. It shrinks down to fit on there, which is really neat! Then I see a bright light for a second and, when that's over, something about me feels different. Something doesn't seem right. I flutter my wings in confusion. They're still there. I scratch my foreleg... wait.... foreleg? I look down at myself and my eyes widen.
Whoa!
* * * *
I open the door of my house and step aside so that Cheerilee can come in first. She nods in thanks and I follow after her once she's inside. Gotta say, those train rides to and from Canterlot can be kind of exhausting. I usually sleep on the train, but I still wake up tired. Canterlot is a much more... draining city than Ponyville. I've always lived in quiet suburbs, other than when I lived in Schunie for a year, so the big city isn't really for me.
"So, the eggs are coming along well, it seems," Cheerilee says.
"Looks like it," I agree. "Princess Celestia will let us know when they actually hatch. I just hope no one is in the room when they do. They need to see Oswald and Philomena first."
"Yes, speaking of that: given that Oswald is... Oswald, and Philomena seems to be the brains of the two, how intelligent do you think their chicks are going to be?"
I shrug. "Dunno. Could be geniuses. No real way to tell until they're older. I didn't figure out that Oswald was Oswald until he was just about fully-grown. That took a few months."
"I suppose we'll find out, then." Cheerilee puts her saddlebag, hat and coat on a coat rack, and I do the same for my jacket. We put our boots on the shoe rug and shake a bit to warm ourselves up. I guess I need to turn on the heater. Gotta tell you, those things cost a pretty penny, but it was worth it for a house of this size.
"Comet, we're home!" Cheerilee calls out as she walks through the house. "We... oh."
"Oh, um... hi, Mom," I hear Comet say from around the corner. "What... what are you doing here?"
"I live here, Comet," Cheerilee says flatly.
I frown and walk to where my wife and daughter are talking. The second I turn the corner I can see what the problem is. My eyes widen and I put a hand over my mouth. In hindsight, I guess I should have seen this coming. We were foolish to not put the bracelet away or lock our bedroom door, but after our last time using the bracelet, we weren't really thinking about whether or not Comet would find it. Seems like she did.
Comet gives me a sheepish grin and a wave. "Uh... hi, Dad."
I never thought I'd see my daughter as a human. She's about chest level to me, with shoulder-length hair. She still has her bat pony eyes and leathery wings, but the latter are poking through a dark purple shirt she's wearing. She's also wearing a pair of black jeans and our bracelet around her left arm. At least she has the decency to look embarrassed.
"So, fancy seeing you here," she says lamely.
"Yes, fancy seeing you here like this," I reply. I motion over to our dining room table. "Sit down, Comet. We need to have a talk."
"Am I in trouble?" Comet whispers.
"We'll let you figure that one out," Cheerilee says.
Comet instantly perks up. "Oh, well then I'm not in trouble."
"Just..." I point to our table again. "Sit down, Comet." Comet huffs, but she walks over to the table and sits down at her chair. She's been like this for a few hours now if she's gotten that comfortable with walking on two legs. Cheerilee and I take our seats opposite her.
"So, Comet..." Cheerilee clears her throat. "We know a filly of your age is curious about some things and likes to go exploring, especially when Hearth's Warming Day is coming around."
"I'm sorry for going into your room," Comet mutters, rubbing her arm.
"We'll get to that in a moment," I reply. "First, we want to explain why we have a bracelet that changes your species and, more importantly, why you should never ever touch it." I take a moment to steady myself. This is not a talk that I wanted to have with her for a few more years. She's only nine, for goodness sakes. Going on ten, but still. "So... when a mommy and daddy, who are married, love each other very much--"
"They lay down wherever, probably a bed, but a floor or bathtub or the ground works, too. I'm not even sure they need to be laying down, but it's probably more comfortable that way, but it still can be just against the wall," Comet interrupts. "Then the daddy sticks his ding dong into the mommy's hoo ha and then, like, I dunno, just sort of keeps in in there until daddy stuff comes out? The older fillies at the orphanage didn't really tell me that part." Comet frowns thoughtfully and tilts her head. "So, it can only be a mommy and daddy, right? Because some of the teenagers told us that they fucked all the time, which didn't totally make sense to me, since Miss Hoof said that you had to be a mommy or a daddy to do that. She didn't call it fucking like the other foals did, though." Comet's frown deepens. "But I remember that one of the teenagers there got herself pregnant, so that technically made her a mommy, right? Some of the other foals called her foal a double bastard, which I thought was kind of a dick thing to say. But would it be okay for her to do more in and out, since she was a mommy? That's another thing the foals there called it. But I heard some of the teenage fillies say that they got really mad when the teenage colts only did in and out for like a minute, so I'm not really sure what's going on there."
Cheerilee is double facehooving, and I can't really blame her. I myself am staring in utter shock at my daughter and what she just said. I clear my throat and only manage one simple word.
"W... wow."
"Firstly, Comet, civilized ponies do not call it... effing," Cheerilee begins.
"Fucking?"
"Yes, that," Cheerilee groans. "It's better to say sex, or intercourse, or making love."
"Oh." Comet shrugs. "I've never heard the other two."
"They are better to use," I confirm. "Besides that..." I clear my throat again. "When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, but they're a different species, they have to find ways around that if they want to get physical. Sometimes, or once, a spirit of chaos will give them a really awesome wedding gift which allows the mommy or the daddy to change their species to match the other one."
A look of dawning horror crosses Comet's face. She slowly looks down at the bracelet around her arm, her eyes wide. She shakily gulps before looking back up at us. "So... this... this is one of your... sex toys?"
"No, no, nothing like that!" I insist, which Comet looks relieved at. Too bad I have to crush that relief. "It's more like a sex... tool."
Comet pauses for a moment while she registers what I've just said. Before Cheerilee and I can say anything, Comet shoves the bracelet off of her arm and leaps off of the chair, transforming back into a bat pony halfway through. She lands on all fours and bolts in the direction of the stairs.
"EEEEEWWWWWW!" Comet spreads her wings and begins flying up the stairs. "Showershowershowershower!"
Cheerilee and I exchange an exasperated look before I grab the bracelet and we walk up after Comet. I stop at the bathroom door and hear water running for the shower. I knock twice on the door.
"By the way, Comet. We knew you'd try looking for your presents when we weren't around. We had Miss Twilight hide them."
Comet lets out a loud, pained groan.