"And after that, we can get some ice cream! Ooh, and after that I can buy you some toys! Would you like that?"
"I sure would!" Comet says, a gleeful smile on her face. As I suspected, Cheerilee's mother has taken to the idea of having a grandfoal with great zeal and Comet is equally pleased by the relationship. They've known each other for all of fifteen minutes and already Sky Flier is promising to undermine all of our parental authority and spoil Comet.
"Now Mom, let's not get overly carried away here," Cheerilee says, crossing her forelegs while Orange Picker and I look on in vague amusement. Or at least, I think that's what the expression on his face is.
Sky Flier rolls her eyes. "Oh don't be such a spoilsport, Cheerilee," she says, waving her hoof at my wife while Comet mimics the motion. "I just want to get to know my granddaughter, that's all."
"Yeah Mom, I'm only a filly once," Comet replies, giving Cheerilee Bambi eyes.
"She's gonna spend ten years worth of savings on this filly," Orange Picker grumbles to himself.
"Oh I'm sure it's not going to be as bad as all that," I say, leaning back on the couch.
"You say that, but we got a dog a few years after Cheerilee left. That didn't end well for my bit bag."
Okaayyy, I'd need to get the story on that one later.
"Speaking of bit bags, it appears that adopting a foal hit our finances a little harder than we thought it would, even though Celestia paid for the actual adoption process," I say, lowering my voice and leaning in close to Orange Picker so that he's the only one who can hear me. "There were just a million hidden expenses we didn't see coming."
Orange Picker frowns at me. "You okay? Yer gonna be able ta feed her and my daughter, right?"
I wave my hand at that. "Oh yeah, that's not going to be a problem, nor is rent or utilities. It's just that once we take those expenses out of our paychecks, we're left with pretty much nothing in the bank. We've drained through our savings pretty quickly. A lot of them were one-time expenses, like buying her stuff for her room, but things are getting really tight around here." Cheerilee, Comet and Sky Flier go into another room to get lunch, allowing me to lean away from Orange Picker a little more and get the volume of my voice back to normal.
"I'm me," I say. "We have enough money to live okay enough if things stay fine, but with me they never do. Plus it's Ponyville. You would not believe how high insurance premiums are for a town this size. We're one big disaster away from being in a bit of a spot."
"Yer about ta ask me for money, aren't you?"
My eyes widen and I raise a hand defensively. "What? No! I was more asking for advice. You've raised a kid before, so I was wondering if you had any tips."
"Hmm." Orange Picker rubs his jaw thoughtfully. "How many one-time expenses are you dealing with versus constant expenses? Is it a matter of you just needin' to tighten your belts for a few months then you can have a little more ta spend?"
"I don't think so," I mutter. "At least, not in a very meaningful way."
"Hmm." Orange Picker leaned back on the couch. "Truth is, Ah never really had that problem. Our farm exports oranges all across Equestria. We've never had enough ta buy Canterlot Castle, but we've never really had money troubles either. Mah best suggestion is to find somethin' ta supplement yer income."
"That's what I was thinking, but I don't work little enough to get a second job. Neither does Cheerilee. I'm not quite due for a pay raise either, otherwise I'd focus on that. Like I said, we're not in such dire straits that I'm not going to be able to feed Comet, but..." I sighed and put my head in my hand. "I know this might sound silly, but I've really started to re-think some stuff now that I'm a father, you know? Back when it was just Cheerilee and I, things were sort of a give and take. We both had our personalities and likes and interests and whatnot but at the end of the day, we were two rational, thinking adults who figured out this whole 'living on your own' thing well enough. Both of us actually had a little more money than before because we were combining our incomes. That was kind of nice.
"It's changed a lot since we've adopted Comet. Now instead of two adults, now it's a husband and wife completely in over their heads trying to provide for, and not screw up, this awesome filly. I used to think that I'd gotten things mostly figured out. Sure, Cheerilee and I have had a few rough patches in the four years we've been married, but no challenges on the scale of raising a kid." A wry smile crosses my face. "And that includes the dragon."
"Yeah, Cheerilee told me about that," Orange Picker says, his mouth going thin. "Ah can't say Ah liked it, but Ah do know that Ah woulda done the same for Sky."
"And I for her and Comet," I reply with a nod. "That aside, being a parent has changed a lot for me. I didn't used to know what failing as a man would be. Maybe doing something so bad that Cheerilee left me? I do know now. To me, I've failed as a man if I can't provide for my family. I know that Cheerilee makes a little more than I do and that's fine with me. That's not the problem. If the lights ever go out in the house, if Comet doesn't feel safe and loved in her own home, if she opens the fridge and nothing's in there, if she goes to sleep at night and doesn't feel completely safe... well, that's how I know I've failed as a man. As a husband. As a father. Sure, the three of us are getting by fine for now, but what if something comes up?" I grimace. "Which it will. Like I said: I'm me. The world isn't spinning right unless something either is going wrong or is about to go wrong. Every time I get complacent, something happens, and it kind of freaks me out to be honest."
"Oh, it can't have happened every single time you've gotten complacent," Orange Picker says. I give him a flat look and he responds with the closest thing to an apologetic grin I've ever seen on him.
"You wouldn't be surprised by that if you ever read my book," I respond. "I went through more stuff in six years than a lot of people go through in their entire lives." I groan. "So much crap."
"Well, if you ever publish it, let me know," Orange Picker says. "Ah would be interested to read it. You n' Cheerilee keep makin' references to this 'amazin' journey' of yours, but Ah've never actually heard any of the details."
"Well, it's quite the story," I say with a grin. "Comet and I both have a copy. She couldn't put it down once I gave it to her. It has lots of action and political intrigue and seeing the world, so I can see how that would appeal... to..." I blink and straighten up. Of course! Why didn't I think of this before?
"I think I may have it."
* * * *
"Okay, now hold it still. Smile. Comet, a little closer. Cheerilee, put your foreleg around TD's waist. Yeah, just like that. Now hold it... on three... got it!"
Twilight smiles and puts the camera down, allowing us to break away from the pose we've been holding. "I think this is going to look really good!"
"It had better," Comet grumbles. "That took too long!"
"Oh come on, it didn't take that long," I respond, scratching Oswald's back. "Now we can go get some ice cream."
"Oh, you're right, that didn't take too long after all!" Comet says, perking her ears up.
"So how long will this whole process take, TD?" Cheerilee asks.
"Well, now that we've got the picture for the dust jacket, we just need to find a publisher. I already have a few potential ones to ask and then we'll be set. Maybe a few more edits and add-ons here and there."
"And then you'll have the best selling book in all of Equestria!" Comet says, hugging one of my legs.
"I doubt it, but that would be pretty cool," I say with a grin.
Then our finances would be a lot better. I have to admit, I'd really like to be in a position where my family is comfortable financially. I could afford all kinds of stuff for them and we'd be prepared for any big disaster. Maybe I could even pay off Manderley, have a cool vacation somewhere and...
Heh, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, I think. It'd be cool, yeah, but I really doubt it. Any money I make from the book would help, though. Good thing, too. I know I said that I'd be able to afford to at least pay my bills and get food for Comet and Cheerilee, but... I dunno. For the moment I can, but I failed to factor in some stuff for Comet's schooling. By virtue of it being a public school she gets in for free, but then there's supplies and money for field trips and... just a million other little things. Then there's an upcoming doctor's appointment for Comet, followed by a dentist appointment. Most of the stuff I'm worried about affording are luxuries I suppose, but I never wanted Comet to feel like I couldn't afford the things she wanted. I obviously wasn't going to get her everything she wanted all of the time. I didn't want to spoil her or anything, but if Hearth's Warming Day was a little bare because Mom and Dad didn't have enough money, that would hurt a lot.
This book had better work out.
* * * *
"So have you found a publisher yet?" Mayor Mare asks as I clean her windows.
I smile and wipe off some cleaning fluid. "Yeah. Parrot Publishing, I think it's called. They're supposed to be one of the better ones out there. Celestia pulled a few strings to get my book in there. I'll be interested to see how it goes."
"I see," Mayor Mare says as she signs a few pieces of paper. "And when will the book be published?"
"It hit the shelves about a week ago," I respond. "I haven't found out how well it's selling yet, but it's early. I'm not sure how often I get royalties from it, I think it said that how often depends on how well it sells, but I think I kind of got lost over that part in the contract. I had Twilight read it over, so I know they didn't put anything bad for me in there."
"Well I wish you all the best then, TD," Mayor Mare says with a smile. "And speaking of royalties..." She hoofs me a piece of paper. "I would just send this to your house as usual, but since you're right here, I figured I'd save a bit on postage."
"Ah, yes, thank you." I smile and put my paycheck in my pocket. "Cheerilee should get hers soon too, if she doesn't have it already."
"And will you be mailed checks from your book?"
I shake my head. "No, they managed to set up some kind of direct deposit thing. That way they save on any postage, or something like that."
I finish wiping down the windows and stretch a little bit. "Alrighty." I put my cleaning supplies in my work bag, even though it's been thirteen years since I was on Earth I still refuse to call it a saddlebag, and sling it over my back. "Same time tomorrow, then?"
"Sounds good, TD," Mayor Mare replies with a smile. "Though I may need your help with some boxes tomorrow. It shouldn't be anything too complicated."
"Cool. See you then."
I exit Town Hall and make my way to the bank. I needed to deposit this before the checks for things like my mortgage bounce. I was pretty sure that once we got all of the bills paid we'd be able to get something nice for Comet for her upcoming birthday. Nothing big, but something. Of course, even if we couldn't get her too much, the Pinkie party that was surely coming might make up for that.
As I approach the bank, I see two familiar ponies walking in that direction as well. I smile and pick up my pace a bit to catch up to my wife and daughter.
"Hey, Cheerilee, hey Comet," I say once I'm close enough.
"Hey, Daddy!" Comet says happily, flying off of Cheerilee's back to wrap her hooves around my neck. "How was work?"
"It was work," I respond with a shrug.
"Mom taught me about Saddle Arabia today," Comet continues, nuzzling my cheek before landing on Cheerilee's back again. "She taught me about the big war Sultan Messid had to get into to get the throne!"
"Mesud," Cheerilee gently corrects.
"Yeah, that one." Comet's smile fades into a frown and she sits on Cheerilee's back so that she can cross her forelegs over her chest. "But Mom said that now we have to run errands." She sticks out her tongue at the perceived torture Cheerilee is putting her through.
"Oh, it's not that many," Cheerilee replies, reaching back to nuzzle Comet. "Just the bank, then the market."
"Aaand maybe some ice cream after that?" Comet says hopefully.
"We'll see, Comet," Cheerilee says.
Comet sticks her bottom lip out in a pout. "Hmpf. 'We'll see' is Mom talk for 'no.'"
"It means 'we'll see,' Comet," I reply.
We'll see our bank statement then do the math after that.
We reach the bank and I open up the door so that Cheerilee and Comet can go in first. Thankfully we seem to have caught them on an off hour, so there's no line. Lucky us. Lucky Comet. She doesn't have to spend an hour being bored.
I walk up to the teller and take my check out of my pocket. Comet mumbles something about being hungry, so Cheerilee takes a paper bag out of her saddlebag and pulls out a plum for Comet to start nibbling on. I smile at the teller and slide the check over to her.
"Hey, I need to deposit that."
"Of course, Mr. Powell." The teller takes the check and staples it to the top of some papers. "Also, you have a letter."
I frown and tilt my head. "A letter? Why wasn't it sent to my house?"
"I think it's because it was sent with a deposit," the teller explains. She leans down and begins leafing through a filing cabinet. She pops back up and slides it over to me. "I'll get this deposited."
"Thanks," I say absentmindedly, looking over the letter. I raise an eyebrow when I see it's from Parrot Publishing.
"What is it?" Cheerilee asks, walking closer to me. Comet also looks up in interest, forgetting the half nibbled plum she's cutely holding in her hooves.
"I dunno, but it's obviously something to do with the book." I tear off the top of the envelope and take the letter out. I scan it for a few seconds. Maybe it's just some...
My eyes widen and my jaw drops open a little. I just... I don't...
"What, TD?" Cheerilee moves closer to me and tries to see the letter. "What does it say?"
"I... holy moley."
Dear Mr. TD Powell,
We are excited to inform you that sales of your book Wanderings of a Headstrong Human have exceeded initial expectations. At the time of this writing, nearly half a million books have been sold and we are making a second run to re-supply all of the major book chains, which have all run out of copies. Pre-order sales are accounting for another approx. 250,000 sales.
We have directly deposited 758,842.95 bits into your account. We shall inform you of any more deposits when they are made available. Should you wish to make yourself available for any book signings or readings, we can arrange that, should you choose not to do it through a third party.
If you have any more books to write, do not hesitate to send them our way. Thank you and congratulations,
Printing Press
Head editor at Parrot Publishing inc.
"Ho. Ly. Shit."
Comet gasps and puts a hoof over her mouth. "Oooh, Daddy said a bad word! He needs soap, doesn't he, Mom?"
"Not now, Comet," Cheerilee says breathlessly, scanning the letter for herself. "TD, I can't believe it."
"Neither can I," I admit. "But, ah... I guess we don't have to worry about money anymore, huh?"
"It doesn't look that way, no." Cheerilee smiles and looks back at Comet. "Comet? I am officially saying 'yes' to ice cream now."
"Yay!" Comet cheers.
* * * *
The next few weeks are kind of a whirlwind. The news of my book sales finally reached Ponyville a day or so later, so I became kind of the talk of the town. Ponies stopped me on the street to congratulate me on my success, with a few even asking when the next one was coming out.
I doubted there'd be a next one, but hey, you never know. I was set up pretty well from this one.
Since I'm not a complete jerk, I gave Twilight a bit of the cut, seeing as how she actually wrote it all down and organized it. Initially she didn't want one, saying that her stipend from Princess Celestia plus the money she made as the town's librarian were enough for her, but I insisted. She agreed to a five percent cut of whatever I made. Even still, she was shocked when I presented her with a check for roughly thirty eight thousand bits. She demanded a smaller cut after that, saying that it was way too much money for one mare and a baby dragon.
Well, three-quarters of a million bits was too much for one family of four.
Comet, Cheerilee and I traveled all over Equestria doing some book signings, which I refused to be paid for. I had too much money as it was, and it was just going to keep coming in. I didn't need more from scrawling my name in a few... thousand books.
Okay, yeah, it got pretty tiring sitting on a chair and signing my name. My hand cramped up after a very short while.
Well, eventually I found myself back at Manderley with my family. I laid in my bed with Cheerilee snuggled up next to me, rubbing my bare chest.
"It's been a crazy month," I mutter.
"It has, but I've been having fun with it. Comet's having the time of her life."
"Of course she is. She went from an orphanage where parents kept passing her over because she's a bat pony to being the daughter of the most famous contemporary author in Equestria right now. That's gotta be a little overwhelming for her." I groan and rub my temples. "I still can't believe it sold that well."
"Well, to be fair, it's a first hand account of some wildly significant events of our time. You were there for a Schunie death match, the start of the Third Griffonian Civil War. You killed Queen Chrysalis, whom Equestria is still mad at for the stunt she pulled at the Royal Wedding. You fought assassins, you traveled the world, you met sultans and emperors and warlords. Plus you're a person from a completely different dimension. Most of all, Princess Celestia herself endorsed the book, saying everything in it is true. How can a book like that not sell well?"
"It does have its appeal, that's true," I admit. "I guess it's the same reason the Daring Do books are so popular."
"Yes, though you have a ways to go yet before your book sells as many copies as the Daring Do books."
I chuckle and run my hand through her mane. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."
A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts. Cheerilee and I both frown. I slip out of bed and throw a shirt on.
"Who could that be?" Cheerilee asks.
I shrug. "Dunno. We're not expecting anybody, are we?"
"Not that I know of."
"Hm." On a gut feeling, I grab Reginald before I head down. When I'm about halfway down, I hear the knocking again. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!"
I reach the door and open it up revealing, to my surprise, a pair of bat ponies. One male and one female. The male one smiles at me and steps forward.
"Mr. TD Powell, yes?"
"Ummm." I frown. "Y-yeah?"
"I'm Night Shadow and this is my wife, Comet Screech."
My frown deepens at that, triggering a small chuckle from Night Shadow. "Yes, we named our daughter after her mother. As I'm sure you suspect, we're Comet's parents, and we're here to take her home."
Uh...
I blink once, alternating looks between the two bat ponies. Finally after a few seconds, I nod, flip them both the double bird, then slam the door in their faces.