Entry Number Five, Day One-Hundred and One
I can't encode me sticking my tongue out and pulling down my eyelid mockingly in text format, but assume that I'm doing so to Luna right now. She poked fun at me for trying to make golems capable of winged flight, but here we are. Now I'm the one poking fun, and also the one laughing. In fact, my laugh is the last one, to take this metaphor to it's logical conclusion. And the first thing I've done now that I can make flying golems is to create my very own spy-eye. Because really, you can't be a dark lord without some adorable fuzzy flying eyeballs with batwings to do your spying for you.
Of course, the only thing better than a flying spy is an even more secretive one. I've worked out a good system, they start as small enchanted pebbles, roughly the size of a tooth, soon I'll be able to make them even smaller. Then, when I send them a signal, the magic activates, and the graphene, sapphire, and water grow outward into a complex system of thin hydrolic tubes, gossamer wings, and adorable fuzzy feathers, complete with the most advanced golemic camera I can produce.
What makes them especially effective, however, is their suite of abilities. Normally, an Eyeroc is able to instantly destroy itself if it detects someone's eyeline about to cross it, and it can send signals using magically enhanced radiowaves back to any magic mirror, and receive commands in the same fashion. However, this isn't the end of it's phenominal talents. If the automatic self-destruct is disabled, they have a suite of methods to deal with someone spotting one of them, from flashbangs to small claws hidden in their fluff.
Of course, the biggest hurdle to creating these little golems was figuring out how to fly, since the golem only knows what I knew, I had to actually learn to fly on my own.
I don't want to talk about it.
Anyway, on to more entertaining facts. This little invention actually combines some things that I try to keep under wraps, but the way I've set it up should help to keep it's destructive uses under the radar, namely, combining Royal Crystal Growth with Black Flames to create and destroy royal ice as a hydraulic fluid. By combining this with some dream training to give me some practical experience, I can use Royal Cloth filled with Royal Water to emulate muscles and tendons, wrapped around Royal Vibranium Bones. The end result is a Golem that looks and feels organic in useful ways.
Golems that use this complex method of locomotion are actually much smoother than other forms of golem, if only because they act more like a living body, and thus, are easier for me to understand how they need to move in order to function. My other methods of creating golem movement, via Prestidigitonium, are much jerkier and unstable, though, they're easier to enchant and require less magical power to run. When finesse and smooth movement are required, this method of Black Flame/Royal Ice hydraulics will serve well for that purpose.
So far, I've produced ten or so Eyeroc Seeds, in case I ever need to spy at a distance, but future generations will probably include more features. I've got plans to use razors embedded in the wings, a few laser cells in the eyes themselves, and possibly bringing in some actual Crystal Ponies to enchant them with Crystal Cloth Feathers instead of Royal Cloth ones.
I've also been considering a few variants, one big example of a variant Eyeroc I'll have to indulge in is a raven or crow shaped one. Crows are fucking awesome, and screw anyone who thinks otherwise. I'll give it rocket wings and laser talons, and it will be named "Killblivion Ragnarok". I'll also include a function that makes it turn into a boomerang or something. That'll be cool.
To be honest, now that I've got hydraulics and pseudo-organic golemancy, I really should get to work on making body doubles. Especially after what has happened lately. Having a few fake bodies to have walking around can only be useful for the next time my life would otherwise be at risk. Although I'll have to make absolutely sure that they can self destruct. I'm not exactly comfortable with magitek like that getting out, especially in the form I'd be using it in.
At the same time though, I could take it entirely too far, and just make my body double explode into some horrific giant mecha whenever it takes damage. Now THAT sounds like a fun rumor to cultivate among my enemies. "Oh yeah, don't fuck with that guy, he turns into a metal monster if you so much as touch his ass."
Yeah, now that I think about it, that's clearly the way to go. I've already got the timeshift tech prepped for smaller structures, so I'll rig up the body doubles and Eyerocs to unfold into larger combat modes, complete with submersible capabilities. Just fucking melts into the snow like a terminator and then you're riddled with spears and exploding.
I have to keep escalating, I still don't have the firepower to keep myself or other safe. This new tech is going to let me do the spying and fighting that I need to get done, and will give me the perfect platform to start building my real weapons. The best way to keep a weapon out of enemy hands is to make it a living one, after all. And while golems aren't technically living, strictly speaking, I don't think that will matter when I'm blasting Sombra's ass away from my fucking ponies.
Maybe I should just keep this one to myself. It shouldn't hurt much, considering how outdated this entry is, compared to his later stuff. Right?
I'll tell Celestia if I find anything really important.
...Oh who am I kidding, it's a little late to grow a conscience about this now of all times.