Foreword
As it turns out, the ponies of this world write in horsey wing-dings instead of plain English. I'll be sure to have my old Noir Journal translated after I learn to write in their language. This one, however, I'm going to leave locked firmly behind a language barrier. It wouldn't do me much good if ponies started thinking I'm some kind of freaky otherworldy alien instead of just an ordinary crazed cultist corrupt with fell magics. That besides, I'm going to be putting my human sciency stuff in here too, and I'm not one-hundred percent sure that won't do some bad shit if it gets out.
In the event someone does find a way to read this, I'll repeat myself, and name this one Grimoire Weiss. Good luck figuring out that reference, you fuzzy code-breaking dorks.
Entry One, Day Seven
So I figured out what that Cold Ash stuff was, turns out it's like, not-ice. Apparently, when I use hatefire on stuff, it can only burn the stuff I actually hate, up to a certain point. So all that ash and coals and little glassy bits, that stuff was actually like, all the parts of water that are fundamentally not ice? I mean, that's the running theory. I say that because even though it's all solid, you can't actually melt it or anything. And it's also crazy flammable, like, with regular fire. But it doesn't make a hot fire, it makes this kind of orange glowy fire that feels like you're just sticking your hoof in water. It's pretty cool, not going to lie. And I mean, I'm not lying, because the fire is literally cool, well, lukewarm really, but that's cool for a fire.
The reason I decided to make this report here, on this fancy white book instead of my ordinary culty tome is because I'm totally going to use this to steal stuff from dark souls, and absolutely nopony is going to understand what the hell I'm talking about if I write it in the Noir book. Basically, I'm going to try and figure out how to use this stuff to make like, estus flasks. If I can put like, healing potions in with it, it'd be like making a spray bottle but with medicine, yeah? Yeah, this is going to be sick. To that end, I've ground up the Cold Ash, mixed it with whatever healing crystals my dudes can whip up for me, and relabeled it in a new bottle while I work out the details. I'll call this new craft mat Aspired Ex-pyre, because I'm very clever and my wordplay is to be envied by all.
Entry Two, Day Twenty-Eight
So the new stuff doesn't work yet.
I figured it wouldn't be that simple, but come on, it was worth a shot, right? Waterfire, healing crystals, toss em together and you get bonfires and estus flasks. Turns out, the aqua fire from that doesn't actually like, MOVE the crystals or the healing energy in them anywhere. So I'm left with burnt out powder and untapped healing dust. I'll need to figure out something to make the crystals get all flamey too. I would say, "just use hatefire", but to be frank, that sounds like a terrible idea. I mean, it would probably work great if I could make a Black Flame, but without the whole "Malicious corruptive hatred and ability to burn through nearly anything" aspect. Maybe there's like, a normal magic equivalent? Oh right, there's that thing dragons can do. Maybe I can figure out how to get me some of that, I mean, the noble Ponyvilleian equine bookhorn never seemed to complain about getting singed in the show, if I remember right.
Until then, I've got a whole bunch of bottles of this shit that I also don't have a use for. Probably shouldn't have made so much. I'll work out something to do with it, given some time.
I've made a terrible, hilarious mistake. I figured I would just see what would happen, anyone would. I toss a bottle of Aspired Ex-pyre into a small Black Flame and, well.
Nobody got hurt, but I'm pretty sure I'll be waking up to ponies dumping snow on me in the morning for a few weeks.
How the heck was I supposed to know that hatefire and healing crystals and water powder all put together made harmless, but entirely effective regular fire?
It didn't help that I just kept laughing after the bystanders returned, sans-hair. I seriously didn't think a bald pony would look that hilarious.
Apparently, they didn't think so either.
Far away from any bystanders, and against their express wishes, I went ahead and tried it again under more controlled circumstances, and received a similar result with far fewer dust-explosions. It's actually very interesting how the fire is able to burn nearly anything but living flesh. I get a strange feeling looking at it, one I can't put my finger on. I mean, I don't have a finger to put on it, but I can't put my hoof on it either. The point is, looking at it evokes some weird, not-hate emotion, and it's able to burn anything that isn't people. Could be useful. I doubt anyone would like my suggestion for a cheap barber though, so I'll have to put some actual, serious thought into how it could be used. Bleh, my least favorite kind of thought.
Maybe I could use it to like, free ponies from ice or chains or something. I mean, that's a bit of a niche use, but whatever.
Well, this is Weiss Noir, signing off.
Entry Three, Day Twenty-Nine
Wait, shit, I'm so stupid, I literally just made hatefire without the "people burning" part. I'll just use this new Friendly Fire on some Aspired Ex-Pyre and...!
Well it's not my precious sunny-d, but I think I'll accept this blue raspberry estus knockoff as though it were my own. By applying the Friendly Fire to the Aspired Ex-pyre after doing some magic stuff that's hard to explain to make it not eat the bottle, I've basically got a back-draft in a bottle. Pop the cork, the fire suddenly has a ton of... I guess air is feeding it. It doesn't really act like fire. I'm getting off topic. Friendly Fire and Aspired Ex-Pyre go into a bottle, and raspberry blue explosions come out, leaving not a minty fresh scent, but rather, a huge flaming wave of "no more ouchies". I feel like a goddamn genius, even though the bottle form is basically only good for minor scrapes.
The actual firepit I made with the stuff is like the world's best spa treatment though. As if a hot-tub and a shower came with pop-rocks and sweet delicious medical care.
Shame it's so expensive, though. My dudes can only make so many healing crystals as it stands. I'll send them a few bottles and tanks for emergencies, and then stop wasting their supplies for my dumb indulgences.
Actually, that's not a bad name for it, to be honest.
I'll start calling stuff like this "Indulgences". It's not like anyone but me is going to appreciate the references anyway even if I tried to explain them to these ponies.
PS. Ok, it's just going to hurt me later if when I go over this if I don't TRY to explain, but I basically had to figure out that weird emotion and figure it out so I could mess with the Friendly Fire's targeting system. I guess the best way to describe the feeling is that feeling of "I need to get rid of some garbage I have lying around, and I know I'll feel better when it's done".
It's not really completely accurate, but those fiddly positive emotions rarely are.