Despite filling in for the Goddess of the sun, I’d never been one for early rising, sleeping as long as I possibly could was more my speed.
But for some reason, I find myself rising with the dawn, and unable to get back to sleep.
Luna had shifted during the night, furling her wings around herself and curling into a ball.
Quill now had her back to me, but was still pressed tight against my chest.
Smoothly, quietly, I crawled out of bed and grabbed a shirt and slacks from my suitcase.
I wasn’t planning on going out, but my stomach was growling audibly.
There was a bar downstairs. I wonder if they had breakfast?
I opened the door silently and tread lightly down the stairs to the pub on the ground floor.
Just as last night, a barkeeper is wiping down the counter with a cloth.
The only difference is this one is a mare.
She notices me and gives a matronly smile.
”Good morning, sir. How did you find your room?”
I took a seat at the bar and returned her smile
“It was quite comfortable, thank you. I'm rather surprised beds as large as the one up there even exist.”
She giggles and sets the cloth down, grabbing a glass from behind the counter.
“So what can I get for you this morning, coffee, tea, something perhaps a bit stronger?”
She wiggles her eyebrows at the last part, making me chuckle.
“I'd best not start on that so early, I won't stop. Just a coffee will be fine, perhaps with some honey.”
She nods and gestures to a jar of honey with a wooden spoon before turning to get my drink.
When she sets the coffee down in front of me, she gives me another smile.
”Perhaps some breakfast as well? I have some fresh bread that I made just this morning, still warm!”
I nodded, considering what to eat.
Something simple and quick to make would probably be best.
“How about some scrambled eggs and a couple slices of that bread.”
She nods her head, grinning widely.
“Comin' right up, hon!”
She walks to the back, and I heard the sound of hooves on the stairs.
Without speaking, Quill hops up on the stool beside me.
She looked at me with tired eyes, then looks down at my coffee.
I didn’t say a word, simply pushing the cup over to her.
Quill gave me a tired smile and takes a small sip, grimacing at the bitter taste but looking all the more awake for it.
“I didn’t get to add honey yet. Sorry.”
Quill just put the cup back down.
The barkeep comes back and smiled at me and Quill.
“Well look who's come to join us. I'll get you another coffee sir, and would you like anything to eat dear?”
Quill shook her head and, after putting another coffee in front of me, the bartender returns to the kitchen
I dole a copious amount of honey into the black liquid and take a long draught.
Perfect.
It doesn't take long for the mare to come out of the kitchen with my food.
She places the plate in front of me, smiling all the while.
”Just holler if you need anything else.”
Man, this mare was just all smiles. It’s nice to see people being happy. Especially the ones that lived in Trottingham.
With that, she leaves me and Quill alone.
Quill continues to drink my--, her coffee as I gazed down at my meal.
The eggs are perfectly scrambled and the heap on the plate is properly massive.
Two slices of golden, fluffy bread lay on top of it, smeared with rich looking butter.
I couldn't imagine a more gorgeous breakfast.
Out of the corner of my eye, Quill was gazing longingly at the plate.
With a sigh, I handed a slice of the bread to her.
Women.
Even back on Earth they always said they didn’t want anything, just to take my food instead.
Some things never change.
No way was I giving her more than that though.
And so, we both tucked in to our separate meal.
Despite the giant portion, it barely takes a few minutes to finish it all, and before long I’m left with an empty plate and full belly.
Content, I leaned back on the stool, sighing as I finish the last of my coffee.
Quill looks pointedly up at me, then at the door, and back to me.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out what she wanted.
With another sigh, I placed a few bits on the bar, enough to cover the meal and give a healthy tip on top of that.
“You know Quill, you can talk. Stop miming what you want”
Having paid for the food, I left the inn with Quill trailing behind me.
The two of us wandered the streets for a time, quietly enjoying the early morning sun coming over the rooftops of the town.
After a while, I took a seat on a park bench, warming myself in the now fully risen sun.
Quill keeps a bit of distance between the two of us, but eventually speaks up with a quiet voice.
”You ought to make a speech today, sir.”
I looked over at her lazily.
“What makes you say that?”
She looks back, her face neutral and eyes bored looking.
Her business look.
”Word has begun to spread of your arrival, but I heard more than a few ponies wondering why you hadn't made a properly public appearance. At this rate, the other ministers are going to claim that it was the council that made decisions on this, not you.”
I blinked slowly, the gears turning in my head for a moment before I shot upright.
That’s something they would’ve jumped at the chance to do.
The only 3 ministers who supported me would be outvoted in this decision.
If they had even voted before talking.
“Blast, I forgot about those bloody vultures.”
Appearance bought more political clout in Canterlot than any other kind of physical or imaginary currency.
For whatever reason, the nobility of Canterlot, the ponies who channeled a great deal of money into the coffers of the country, had felt less apprehension about me and more curiosity.
I was exotic to them, instead of alien as I was when I had first appeared.
It had given me a fair few supporters in the upper crust of the country, but that had begun to dry up after a time.
More pull had been gained when I had started to solve diplomatic issues with tactics the ponies had never dreamed of, and even more when I had gained the position of foreign minister.
And now that I was at the head of the Equestrian government, I needed that respect more than ever.
With the war, I had nearly forgotten the games of petty politicking and schmoozing that came with a position in government.
But with Quill's reminder, my mind was already changing gears.
I straightened my face and smoothed out some of the creases on my shirt.
“Quill, I need you to go down to the mayor and get him to plan a time for something to be set up. Rope in some officers, and as many reporters as you can get your hooves on, the place ought to be swarming with them. I'm thinking we use that observation tower outside the city as a backdrop, really get the message out of their surrender. Meet me at the inn when you're ready, alright.”
Her stony exterior cracks and a predatory grin spreads over her face.
“Understood sir. And you had best get something written down, and make sure that fine uniform is well pressed. I'll be sure to go over whatever notes you make before anything, ensure there's nothing you've missed.”
Without further words, the two of us headed off to our goals, Quill to the city hall, and me back to the inn.
It doesn't take long before I arrived, and I began to head straight up to the suite.
Luna is still sleeping, so after wiping some stray grass from the uniform, I woke her up with a gentle nudge.
She stirs, and her wings draw back to reveal a very sleepy looking princess.
”Huh! Whazzat? I'm up, I'm up!”
I smiled and pointed to the timepiece on the drawers beside the bed.
“It’s almost noon, and we've got a presentation to plan, Luna. No time for sleeping on the job.”
Her eyes brightened immediately, and she hops off the bed as I began dressing myself.
She circled around me, an expression of curiousity on her face
”What presentation, Anonymous? I thought we had nothing planned for the day.”
As I balanced on one foot, donning my boots, I replied with a fair amount of effort.
“We didn't have anything planned until just a few minutes ago. I've been so busy with the war I forgot I had a job as a politician too. Quill is setting up a time and place to make a presentation, and I've got to write a speech and figure out some way to promote the military and my own part in all this, all while sidelining the ministers.”
She narrows her eyes at my wording.
“Did they not have a part in all this too, Anonymous? Why in Equestria would you try and write them out?”
I sighed and scratched my cheek.
As easily as the thought of pushing aside the other ministers had come, it wasn't a welcome one.
I understood politics, even embraced them, but I had never enjoyed the vile things I had to do in order to achieve my goals.
“It's simple, Luna. If I don't, they push both myself and the military to the side. The majority of the ministers didn't at all want the expansion and reformation of the army. And the only way I was able to ensure the larger budget for the war was using the veto I technically have in Celestia's place. The fact is, in order to make sure that we can win this war, I need the total approval of everypony. That means I need to be seen, alongside the military, as the upholder of Equestria. I don't like it, but it's simply a cruel necessity of politics.”
Luna takes a long moment, mulling my words over silently.
I just couldn't imagine that she of all ponies likes the idea of manipulation and guile to get the better of others.
But she had to understand the urgency of the situation
Finally, she raises her head and looks me into my eyes.
“Very well, Anonymous. I accept that this is the way things must be done, but only for now. We must not abuse such trust often.”
If only she knew what I had planned for the ministry.
I smiled and guided her over to the desk before I sat down at it, taking up a quill and sheet of paper.
I lied as naturally as I breathed.
“Of course not, Luna. Now let's get to work.”
Three hours and two full revisions later, it was ready.
Forty minutes ago, Quill had burst into the room, demanding to see the draft of the speech.
She had forced the second revision, giving me notes along the way of how to direct the flow of my words.
But finally, I had finished it.
Possibly my most calculated speech to date, I made sure to keep certain sections of it on cards so I didn't mess anything up.
This would be astoundingly important to get right.
The first major victory in the first war in eight hundred years.
The liberation of the third largest city in all Equestria, and the forced surrender of its occupying force.
Momentous events like this simply did not happen every day.
The ponies monitoring radio and telegraph transmissions had not found any statements given by the ministers as of yet.
But even with their bickering, that window of opportunity would soon pass me by.
The speech had to be made soon. I wouldn’t, couldn’t let them take credit for this.
I chose go over the plan again as the three of us stormed out of the room and romped down the stairs, only slowing once we had reached the pub below, even though it was empty.
Quill had strong-armed the mayor into setting up an attendance-encouraged rally on the outskirts of town this afternoon.
I imagined that it didn't need to be too highly encouraged, word had spread of my arrival in town like wildfire.
In addition to roping the mayor into doing the actual set up, she had got the guarantee of General Stalwart Shield and a number of high ranking officers for their own part in it.
And finally, she had even managed to cajole the radiomen to relay to Canterlot a message for everypony to tune in and listen to the speech happening live.
And so, as professionally as possible, the three of us were rushing to the outskirts of town.
On the way there, we had run into a pair of Royal Guardsmen, keeping watch outside the Field Command center.
Perfect, a chance to bolster my image with the Royal Guard.
Just having them stand near me when I gave the speech would give the image of them being supportive of my rule.
“Ah, Royal Guardsmen. I need the two of you to come and join me.”
The Royal Guardsmen stood there, ignoring me.
One of the pair, an earth pony, had finally spoken.
“Sorry, we only listen to orders from royalty. We will not obey your order.”
I turned to Luna, expecting an explanation.
“Tis true, the Royal Guard have been ordered to only listen to royalty. It’s been this way for years.”
Hmm.
Not wanting to press the issue further, I turned to leave, with Quill and Luna following shortly behind me.
The streets were quiet, and once the buildings start thinning out, I could see why.
In front of a stage set up before the observation tower that was still flying the griffon flag of surrender is the largest single gathering of ponies I had ever seen.
It appeared that the entire city was in attendance.
At the very front of the crowd there were several ponies with film cameras and some with microphones.
On the stage itself, a podium equipped with half a dozen microphones stood as a centerpiece.
Flanking that were several high ranking officers and the mayor himself.
But the crowd was what really drew my eye.
There must have been tens of thousands, appearing to cover the entire site where there had been a battle raging hardly two days ago
So when they saw the three of us approaching the side of the stage, a quiet murmur turns into a dull roar, and finally rises into a cacophony that must have rivaled the battle itself.
When I took to the stage, Quill and Luna join the others up there as I approached the podium with my arms outstretched.
The cheering continues for a solid minute, somehow growing louder, until I slowly lowered my arms.
A few stray cheers still echo from the back, but near every pony is awaiting me with bated breath.
I could feel my back dampen instantly with sweat, and my head becomes so hot that I removed my cap.
But after a moment, I had managed to steel myself with a long, slow breath.
Finally, I smiled out at the crowd.
“Ponies of Trottingham, you are free!”
The crowd explodes with noise, and it takes them quite some time to calm back down. But they do, and once more gazed up at me with eager smiles.
“You have weathered attack, occupation, and abuse at the hands of the griffons. You were overrun in a cowardly sneak attack, stabbed in the back by an empire we once forged great trade routes with. But now here you stand, unfettered before, and I see such strength that I am humbled. Humbled by the thought that such strength lies in even the lowliest of ponies, by the knowledge that you placed trust in me to lead you. And now that I stand before you, have I not fulfilled that sacred trust?”
Another, overwhelmingly positive cheer from the crowd, lasting longer than even the last.
It makes a bubble of pride swell in my chest, but I pushed it down as best I could.
To be prideful was dangerous, especially with the seat I now occupied.
The ponies quiet once more, and I carry on.
“But even with all your trust vested in me, I could not hope to bring the enemy low on my own. It was the bravery and ingenuity of the mighty Equestrian military that put the griffons on their knees and forced them to strike their colours! With great sacrifice, they broke the yoke that had chained you, and for every pain caused by the occupiers, they paid it back a thousandfold! For this, the grand divisions that fought on your behalf shall be well rewarded, but such decoration must be put on hold for the next phase.”
An uncertain mutter runs through the crowd, and I saw more than a few smiles falter.
But now was the time to strike, while the iron of their hearts was still hot, and their blood was aflame with passion.
“The griffons attack must be answered for! This treachery, this underhanded cowardice, must be answered for. Many of you are old enough to remember the griffon invasion of Capra, a wrong that Equestria did nothing to right. But now they stab straight at our heart. I know I speak for every pony when I say, this is too much! The leadership of the griffons has shown their true heart, and we must put these wrongs to right. We will march on Griffonstone itself, we will excise the vile monsters that have mislead the griffon peoples, and we shall guide them back to the righteous path! So what do you say, ponies of Trottingham, ponies that I am glad to once more have back in the fold, what do you say?”
There is a beat of silence, enough for me to feel a bead of sweat drip into my right eye.
But then, a roar of approval that could shy a charging army breaks out. It swells over the open fields, seeming to shake the very soil of the earth.
Even the officers and officials behind me seemed to have been swept up in the feeling, standing and cheering along with the crowd.
As I surrendered the podium to General Shield, the cheer still goes on. It takes a long while before he's able to speak over the crowd.
His own speech doesn't seem to get nearly the response from the citizens, but his troops are caught up in the excitement of it. After him, Luna makes a very short speech extolling the ease with which I had filled Celestia's role, and the strong bond between myself and the brave soldiers of Equestria.
And finally, the mayor made his own speech thanking me and especially the military for the liberation of Trottingham, and promising a monument to the brave fallen who gave everything to free his city.
At long last, the great ceremony is over. The crowd disperses, the officials and officers return to their duties, and I’m left alone with my companions once more, basking in the sunset.
I’ve finally calmed down from the excitement of the day, and I’m left with an odd sort of pressure in my chest. It's not a feeling I can describe well, but as I stroked Quill's mane, I realized I didn't have to.
Because as long as I’m with these mares, it can't possibly be bad.
After a long while, Luna speaks up in the silence.
”Well, it has certainly been a pleasure to be with you both again. Unfortunately, I must get back to the other officers. With the next phase of the war coming on fast, we will need every moment we can have to ensure a swift victory.”
She stands from her position beside me and gives the pair of us a short bow.
”I pray you will make it home safely.”
I smiled up at her, feeling tiredness clinging to every move I made.
“And we'll pray for your safety and quick success. Good night and good luck, Luna.”
Luna returns the smile, then trots away towards the city.
Me and Quill are left alone to enjoy the last rays of the sun as it falls below the horizon.
There's an feeling of finality in the air, and despite the warmth of the sun and the rush of the day, a sense of creeping dread weighed heavy on my heart.
It's formless, coming from nowhere in particular, but everywhere at once.
I rested a shaking hand on Quill's mane, breathing deeply to calm myself.
This was something new, and something I didn't understand.
And that only led to more fear.
As though she knew what I was feeling, Quill cuddles against my side and sighs deeply.
”You know you can talk with me, sir. I'm good for more than just writing your schedule.”
I looked down and see a soft smile on her face.
Giving her my own shaky smile, I scratched behind her ears to distract myself.
“I know, but I don't want to just foist my own thoughts on you. Besides, I wouldn't even know how to start.”
Quill sighs and lays her chin on my leg.
”How about you start with why your hand was shaking like you were eighty?”
I grimaced at the confrontational tone. Not only had she noticed my physical response to what I felt, but she wasn't going to let this go either.
I tried to speak as nonchalantly as possible, even with how weak my tone was.
“Come on it's not that bad. I'm just tired.”
Quill stayed quiet, but her look clearly shows she doesn't believe me.
With a sigh, I start again.
“I don't really know what it is. Something just isn't sitting right with me. Maybe it's how easy everything has been, maybe it's something that griffon general said, maybe I'm just paranoid.”
Her hoof gently rubs on my thigh, encouraging me to continue.
“That griffon, General den Tann, approached me that night after you and Luna went back to the inn. He talked about the conquest, about the battle, about what Luna did. He told me he wanted to see 'what kind of being could order such butchery'. I guess it had a greater effect on me than I thought.”
Quill climbed on my lap, stretching up and nuzzling my chin.
”But that's not all is it?”
I let out a heavy sigh, slumping in my chair.
“Well, there’s also… us.”
Quill looked at me puzzled.
“Nothing. Just forget about it Quill.”
She just stared at me.
I kept digging my hole deeper.
I chose to stay silent.
Without another word I stood, turning back to the town.
“It's getting late, we ought to head back into town.”
I put her down before starting the walk back to Trottingham, Quill trotting along beside me.
I stayed silent for the entire walk to the inn, despite Quill continuing to ask questions about what I had meant. About what I really felt.
While a part of me wanted to talk, just to see if it would help overcome my reluctance, more of me is scared to be overheard.
Moreso, scared to stress Quill even more with what I’m thinking.
Despite the late hour, the streets are still crowded.
Ponies are reveling with mugs of cider in their hooves, and I can hear fireworks and boisterous music in the distance
But when me and Quill come through, they parted like they were the Red Sea, and I Moses.
As soon as we pass, they get straight back to drinking and celebrating.
It makes me wonder about just how sensitive ponies are to the moods of others.
Quill was able to tell straight away that not only was something bothering me, but it wasn't just a single thing.
Maybe it's some kind of innate empathy? It would certainly explain their skills in keeping the peace for so long.
But if they could tell how conflicted I was, would they know why?
I entered the tavern at the ground floor of the inn, and am greeted by the sounds of a massive celebration.
I can barely squeeze through the crowd, and the bar staff is running their tails off getting orders.
But eventually, I made it to the stairs and climbed to my suite.
Even on the stairs outside my room, there are ponies, though they're far quieter than the crowd downstairs.
I don't stick around to find out why they're here, merely entering through the ornate door and shutting it behind me.
The noise of the party is muffled, but just audible at the edge of hearing. I fell backwards onto the bed, letting out a long sigh.
Quill hopped up beside me and laid her head down on my chest.
The two of us stayed silent for a moment, enjoying the closeness and warmth we shared.
Quill is the first to speak up, her tone gentle and kind.
“I know it's probably hard for you to talk about how you're feeling. You don't want to be seen as a weak leader. But it's just me here, Anonymous, we're together and we're alone. There's nothing to hold back.”
I stared up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment, then I took a deep breath and turned to talk with her.
“It's just, the general got me thinking. Am I the kind of person that would order such terrible things if it meant winning the battle? Humans have done so many terrible things, and for so many years, maybe it's simply part of who I am. Like a cutie mark, maybe it just takes the right time and circumstance to come out.”
I looked down at her, finding a bit of solace in her kind, warm gaze
Her eyes are the color of the deep sea
My cheeks had gone flush, and I continued to speak, focused on her beautiful eyes.
“But does it really matter if I'm doing it to protect Equestria? Just where is the line that separates a soldier from a monster?”
Quill lets out a deep sigh, nuzzling against my chin.
A heavy silence hangs in the room. Even the sounds of the party seem to have died to give birth to the lack of sound in the suite.
Fireworks burst in the distance, showering the room in an eerie red glow
My hand gently strokes Quill's mane, and I willed her to speak, to respond, to make me feel even marginally better in some way.
”I don't know, Anon. Maybe there isn't a real line though, maybe being a soldier and a monster isn't something that you can clearly segregate.”
I drew in a long breath, listening to the bursts of fireworks in the distance.
“Maybe to be a soldier you have to be a bit of a monster. I guess the question is really, how much of one can you be before you go mad?”
Quill's hoof traces circles onto my chest as she thinks.
I took another deep breath, her mane smells like a spring day after the rain.
She inches closer to mine, and I could feel her hot breath on my cheeks.
”Maybe it doesn't matter, as long as you're protecting those you love.”
I felt my blush deepen, and my body began to tense up.
Another firework bursts, painting her in bright blue light.
Her eyes shimmered in the fading glow, and I could see her own blush in the dying light.
The distance between us closed further.
Did she always have those freckles that now stood out starkly on her cheeks?
Her nose brushes against mine, and she breathes in sharply at the contact.
Another rocket bursted in the night sky.
Self doubt and inner struggle be damned, it was now or never.
I finally moved in.
I pressed my lips onto hers, and the hushed atmosphere is broken with a cheer from the downstairs.
What convenient timing.
Our lips separated, and Quill breathes heavily against me, her eyes wide.
The noise quiets once more, and the night air stills.
Quill moved in again, more intense in pressing herself against me.
I pressed back, just as eager as she was.
The night sky erupts in noise and color again, and the two of us with it.
No matter if she was a pony, I just wanted to be happy.