Fluttershy is patiently reading a magazine in the waiting room when Rarity burst through the door of the spa.
Gilda also happens to be there as well, twiddling her thumbs with an annoyed expression of begrudging acceptance.
Rarity whips her hat off and places it on a nearby stand as she sighs piteously. "Oh Fluttershy, I'm so dreadfully sorry, I swear that I didn't mean to be so late for our little get-together, time got away from me, you will not believe what happened!"
She waves to Aloe. "The usual, please!"
With a broadened smile, Aloe leads them into another room, where, after dressing in their robes and towels, they each take a seat in the steamy room while Lotus spoons water onto ripping-hot stones arrayed off to the side.
"So, what happened," Gilda drawls, her feathers and coat quickly poofing up from the humidity, much to her annoyance.
Rarity gives a prim nod, before beginning her story. "Well, I had been on my way here, as fast as was reasonable, when who else but Photo Finish happened to see me and my marvelous hat!"
"Photo Finish?" Fluttershy asks, allowing the steam to relax the aches that come with caring for nearly a forest's worth of animals every day.
"Oh, only the most famous fashion photographer in the world! She had seen my hat and called it 'Absolutely Marvelous'!" Rarity claims, chest puffing with pride.
Gilda chuckles. She might not give two feathers about this "fashion" junk, but eh, the unicorn sure seems happy about it. "Hey, that's pretty good! Sounds like a pretty big deal."
Rarity gasps in faux-offense. "Big Deal? This is the biggest deal there is, I would hope, she was so impressed that she had actually wanted to take pictures of my clothing in my own shop!"
Fluttershy squeals lightly. "That's wonderful, Rarity..!"
Rarity nods so rapidly that her towel nearly flops off of her head. "Oh, the things this could mean for my fashion career!"
Fluttershy's slight smile widens. "I'm so happy to hear that."
An odd gleam enters Rarity's eyes. "But, in order for things to go perfectly, I'll need the perfect model, someone with grace and class, radiating feminine beauty!
"Someone like-!"
The door opens as Aloe nervously pokes her head into the steam room.
"Madame Fluttershy, there is someone in the lobby who claims they need your help with something."
Fluttershy is almost thankful at the distraction, not liking the direction Rarity's conversation had been going. "I'll be right there," she states softly, calmly scrambling out of the room like a rabbit under threat of predation.
Gilda cuts Rarity a look as she stares forlornly after the escaped pegasus.
"Hey, I'm pretty classy, if you need a model or whatever," Gilda offers, mostly as a courtesy.
Rarity, out of options, restrains the looming sense of dread she feels at the thought of trying to get Gilda into a dress and posing.
"That would be... wonderful," she says, her smile a bit too wide from nervousness.
As Fluttershy enters the lobby, she spots the ever-meddling Weiss Noir, who looks like a colt that got caught with their hoof in the cookie jar.
"So, uhh, just... Speaking hypothetically, how angry would you be if... I accidentally turned a fish into a giant monster with metamorphic magic, and I'm not sure how to calm it down?"
Fluttershy lets out a small sigh. "I would be very disappointed."
He chuckles sheepishly. "I'll pay for your next spa visit?"
"Just take me to the fish, Weiss Noir," Fluttershy says quietly, already flapping her way out of the door.
The dark sage nods, walking out after her. "So, basically, I was doing some perfectly harmless tests with a fish in The Tower, when it... Grew a bit out of control."
Fluttershy resists the urge to roll her eyes. The fact that he was experimenting on that poor fish is reason enough for her to not be happy about this situation.
The idea of Weiss being a frightening individual fails to cross her mind, focused as it is on helping whoever it is Weiss sucked into his schemes.
Eventually, they reach the tower in question, where a giant flying fish is raining down bolts of lightning from its bright red cheek pouches.
"As you can see, things got a bit out of hand, when it comes to experimental security. If you can just calm him down for a bit, I'm sure I can fix the problem easily enough." Weiss again chuckles, trying to lighten the mood while lightning flashes down from the angry fish's face.
Fluttershy goes so far to slowly put a hoof to her face, briefly.
"It's alright, Weiss. I'll try to help. Can you tell me exactly what happened?" Fluttershy says, slowly working out what the fish is feeling. Confusion. A lot of confusion.
The poor dear has no clue why the "river" they're in is so big and open, still thinking themselves to be underwater.
Weiss nods. "It all started when I was doing a bit of preparation to get ready for my trip to Storm Country," he explains.
"So, Tempest, you claimed that the Diamond Dogs were running low on Storm Magic, does that mean the Fizz Guard are going to start reverting, sooner or later?" Weiss asks, looking over several maps and documents, thoughts clearly churning in his head.
While Tempest nods, Grubber, Puncher and Chunker wail in horror. "I don't want to lose my fingers!" Puncher shouts over Tempest's attempt at explaining. "I need them to punch things!"
"Idiots, it would take years for you to run out-" Tempest attempts, before Weiss flips the table he was sitting at, leaping onto it dramatically.
His hooves wobbling on the edge of the flipped table, he growls and uses a burst of magic to hold everything still before beginning his announcement.
"Have no fear, my loyal servants of darkness! Your master will not allow such a fate to befall you!" Weiss shouts finger pointed to the sky as lightning rumbles behind him.
"I'll get you guys the juice you need, lickity-split! All I need is a small bucket, a large bucket, two gallons of soap and someone who cries a lot!"
Grubber sniffles at the thought of no longer being able to reach high shelves, before resisting the urge to bawl upon realizing that he was never able to reach high shelves.
"I cry a lot!" Grubber points out, making Weiss shake their head.
"The pony I have in mind will provide all the Waterworks we need..." Weiss explains ominously, before leaping out of a nearby window, splattering on its nigh-indestructible surface without breaking through.
He reforms with an annoyed expression on his face. "Right, I forgot about that. Stupid building regulations, one dumbass Zebra contracts a brief case of boneitis from breaking through the walls and suddenly, I have to make the tower 'OSHA Compliant and 'Less of a literal deathtrap'." he grumbles to himself, making air quotes while walking out the door.
As he leaves, he hears Tempest lightly slap Puncher across the face to get them to come to their senses as she attempts to explain just how long it would take for any reversion to occur.
Before long, his trek takes him to Sugarcube Corner, the most common place to find Equestria's hardest crier.
"Pinkie Pie, I summon you! Come forth, pink horror!"
From the depths of the accursed frosting pits of Sugarcube Corner's darkest depths, a beast, chained up with bindings of pure-
"Weiss, please, don't embellish," Fluttershy chastises lightly, as she and the sage attempt to get up to the Thunder Sturgeon, the pegasus having the instincts to avoid lightning, while the sage simply endures them directly, exploding and reforming with each one as he balances on a floating bubble of some sort that slowly rises up after her.
Weiss scratches his head apologetically. "Sorry."
Thrusting his hands up to grab a bolt of lightning out of the sky before it can hit the pegasus, he wrenches it to the side, sending the bolt crashing to the ground below them.
"Can I continue?" Weiss asks, prompting the pegasus to nod.
"Hey, Pinkie, I need a favor, and I'm willing to pay you back for it," Weiss says, casually walking in as Pinkie scrapes frosting and paper chains off of her face.
"Oh, sure thing Weissie, help me clean up and I'll hear you out," she says, prompting Weiss to nod and go over where he knows the mops are.
"Basically, I need a butt-ton of tears so I can turn them into thunderclouds and make my minions keep their fingers"
Pinkie nods, shoveling a pile of cotton candy from her failed attempt to create the fabled "Chocolate-Barmageddon" "That makes sense!"
Weiss scoffs, throwing his hand in the air as he mops up the three gallons of cherry gelato. "I'm glad some ponies do, I swear, you try to explain metamorphic resonance via ambient energy accumulation in a closed system and they look at you like you're crazy!"
Pinkie nods sagely. "To be genius is to be misunderstood."
With a sigh of relief, the cleaning is finally done and Weiss uses a burst of black flames to erase the pile of failed confections from existence.
Pinkie tilts her head. "Why didn'tcha do that in the first place?"
Weiss shrugs. "I had fun doing things the old fashioned way."
Pinkie pouts as she crosses her arms. "Well, you don't have to do it for a living. Cleanup in an instant? Pinkie wants a piece of that."
Weiss groans. "Seriously, who's going to want access to my stuff next, Lyra?"
He nervously considers whether or not that qualifies as "Tempting Fate", and tries not to think too hard about it.
"Whatever, sure, Pinkie Pie with a Black Flame Broom. I've seen stranger. Come on, it's tear time."
With that, Weiss and Pinkie take the winding road down into the Everfree, where his minions have prepared a large aquarium tank with a single fish in it.
He brings Pinkie over to a gigantic metal bucket, with a large flame burning underneath it, and some sort of crystal hanging above it.
"I need you to cry into this," Weiss demands, but Pinkie shakes her head.
"I can't just cry on demand, Weiss, I have to see something truly, absolutely heart-wrenching, I am a rock! And-"
Weiss pulls out a photograph of Grubber as a very small baby and slyly steps out of the way when Pinkie's eyes erupt like fountains.
"Look at his little feet?!" She bawls at the adorableness, while Grubber mumbles several foul hedgehog curses from the back of the room, unable to make eye contact with anyone else.
In moments, the tank is filled, and steam rising up from it is attracted to the magical crystal suspended above the room until it turns into a dark, stormy thundercloud.
"Now, this is just test number one, so everyone stand back," Weiss demands, putting on a set of Mad Scientist's Goggles as the tear-soaked thunderclouds begin rumbling ominously, the magically created water running out of energy to sustain itself, and releasing large amounts of magical energy as it begins to disperse.
Pulling a large lever, the crystal holding the clouds together flashes, and a massive bolt of glittering lightning rushes over, striking the fish in the aquarium.
"Yes... Yes! It's alive!" Weiss howls, cackling as the fish is left unharmed by the massive amounts of magical electricity, swimming around with a bit of confusion.
By now, Pinkie's waterworks have ceased, and she turns in curiosity to the tank. "So, uhh, what was that supposed to do, exactly?" she says, serendipitously slipping the photograph of Grubber into her hair.
Weiss shrugs, letting out an unsure vocalization. "Iunnow. I figure it'll like, turn into a dude or something?" he says, flaming hair almost forming a question mark from how much it's flailing around.
Everyone watches the tank with rapt attention, waiting to see what the results of Weiss's magic attempt will do. The fish grows a few inches, and its cheeks turn a faint red.
"You can't be serious," Tempest says, stricken with confusion at just how little all that flashy magic had done to the critter.
As if solely to defy her, all of the water in the Aquarium then turns to steam, flooding the room as everyone inside is thrown back by the explosion from the liquid expanding. Bright glowing red eyes appear in the mist, spread apart too far to be on anything but a titanic creature or a slightly oversized hammerhead shark.
"And then I called you, we came here, I started explaining everything, and then we climbed up on top of this gigantic fish monster!" Weiss finishes, his air-bubble popping as he lands on top of the gigantic leviathan.
"Gravity Boots" Weiss whispers, holding out a hand as his hooves glow with some sort of energy that keeps them pressed against the fish's back in spite of the whipping winds this high up.
Fluttershy's own wings form instinctively to turn the wind into something that keeps her pressed down on the ground while her eyes narrow, she might not be a weathermare like Rainbow Dash, but it's not hard to pick up a few things. "He's sucking up the clouds through its gills, it's why he keeps growing. I need to convince him to go into some water, the altitude is making him dizzy."
She softly jabs Weiss in the chest. "You need to help me keep him on course to the lake. Without hurting him."
Weiss nods, thrusting his arms out wide.
"Dark Hand!" Weiss shouts, glowing black scrawls appearing on his arms that seem to bleed off into nothing, the enchanted writing growing in size until it forms six gigantic limbs.
With as much care as six gigantic limbs can afford, Weiss grabs the sides of the fish, palms pressing into feathery scales. "Alright, I've got him."
Fluttershy immediately gallops to the head of the beast, whispering at them and slowly convincing them to head towards the lake.
Weiss adjusts course, as Fluttershy had planed, the fish only thrashing a few times in the process.
"Ok sweetie, I need you to go down into that lake, ok? I know you think you're underwater right now, but you're not, and it's making you feel bad," Fluttershy coaxes, until inch by inch, the fish aims downward, crashing into the water's surface with an almighty splash as it discharges the electricity that had been stored inside of it all at once in a mostly harmless manner.
The fish happily flopping around in the lake, the pegasus turns and gives Weiss the stink-eye, as he shrinks slightly in anticipation for something she's not sure of.
"You're not going to hit me in the head, are you?" Weiss asks, seemingly ready to cover his dome after so many instances of being bludgeoned there.
Fluttershy lets all of her stress out in one gigantic long-suffering sigh that might qualify as "Inaudible" to bats.
"No, Weiss. Because I know how you're going to pay me back for all of this," she says in a gentle tone that makes Weiss wish she had gone with the concussive option.
Gilda wishes she had never agreed to this.
"Yeow!" the griffon yelps, leaping up when a pin pokes her in the rump.
Rarity tuts. "Gilda Grizelda Gruff! Now we're going to have to redo the entire thing!" she says, as Gilda's leap had disheveled the outfit slightly.
Gilda looks ready to scream as a malicious aura emerges behind her and her eyes glow with a malignant light. After several deep breaths, Gilda regains her composure, deflating like a balloon. "Whatever."
"Mmm, more ribbons," Rarity demands, Spike leaping up to plant two huge ones on both sides of Gilda's head.
As she adjusts the form-fitting ruby-red dress, Rarity shakes her head. "No, less ribbons," the unicorn declares, Spike leaping up to yank the ribbons off.
"Give me one of the orange feathers, please," Rarity demands, making Twilight levitate the bowl of feathers over for Rarity to pick through.
Pulling out the correct one, Rarity gently sets it into the brim of Gilda's gigantic sun-hat, tilting it just so.
"Alright, we're finally done, Gilda, hop up on that little stage over there, if you would. Photo Finish will be here any moment!" she declares, shoving the unamused griffon forward and up onto the raised platform.
"So I just gotta look cool while this chick takes pictures of me, right?" Gilda says, regretting every instant of this farce.
Rarity shakes her head. "No, no no no. You must look graceful, poised! The very picture of elegance and beauty!
"We've still got time to go over some appropriate poses before-" the door jingles, making Rarity freeze in place while everyone else looks over curiously to see who it is.
"Ahh, but how can you have time for mere practice, when I, Photo Finish..!"
"Am already here?!" The extravagant mare shouts, posing as lights flare behind her in a show of absolute fabulosity.
Rarity hyperventilates slightly, before assuming her best "Yesmare" expression. "Right, of course! Welcome to my humble boutique, Photo Finish!" Rarity says as the mare walks past her, uncaring.
She looks at Gilda with a scrutinizing gaze. "Bold, very bold. Let's see what you can do, babe."
Nodding at her assistants, the other ponies immediately set up her camera for her, and she begins pointing. "Legs forward, chin up! No, your other legs! Yes... yes..!"
She shakes her head violently. "No!"
Gilda's anger levels begin to rise as she attempts to obey. One of the pins left in the dress pokes her slightly.
As Photo Finish grows more and more incensed with Gilda's lack of whatever it is she's looking for, it cannot compare to Gilda's building rage.
"No, no! With more pizazz!" Photo Finish demands, as something glassy tinkles and snaps inside Gilda's break.
With a roar of defiant anger, she rips the stupid dress right off of herself in a storm of talons and purple energy, heaving heavily as her eyes twitch at the numerous photographs being taken of her.
She turns to face the mare, while Rarity and her friends look on in horror.
Photo Finish's jaw has dropped to the floor, while she idly snaps another picture.
"I..." she begins, staring blankly at Gilda, her body covered in the shredded remains of the red dress, her hat hanging askew from one side.
"Love it! That is it darling! That is simply it!" the mare squeals dramatically.
She pokes her lip thoughtfully. "Though, next time, I believe we could do with a bit less damage done to the outfit, of course. But the passion? Perfect, I love it."
Tempest stares at the gigantic electrified sea-beast now occupying the lake closest to the Everfree, before turning to her subordinates and Pinkie Pie.
"Don't let Weiss test any magic on you four until I sign off on it," she states simply, before casting a spell to flip upside down and fall into the sky out of sight.
Pinkie giggles, falling onto her rear as her head tilts up trying to follow the unicorn's path with her eyes. "Golly gee, and here I thought Twilight made weird experiments. Welp! I'm going to go back to work. Tell Weissie to call me when he's out of the doghouse, mkay?" the bouncing mare shouts, leaping off of The Tower without a care in the world and bouncing heavily as she makes her way back to Ponyville.
Grubber gulps. "So, uhh, anyone up for cards?"
Puncher and Chunker agree with the idea, and the trio make their way to the barracks in Star Road, intent on starting up a good old fashioned game of poker to forget about this odd and slightly frightening series of events.
By the time they've convinced a few other hedgehogs to join in on the fun, Tempest lands harshly on the ground nearby, waltzing in casually and taking her own seat.
Nobody is dumb enough to tell Tempest that she can't join in on their poker game, in spite of her arguably being the one to sign their checks.
"So, is what's on tap for you all, or can your commander have a glass as well?" she says slyly, as one of the Fizz Guards passes her a mug full of something frothy and delicious.
Grubber gives her an odd look for fraternizing with the guards, which she returns with a blank stare. "What, Grubber? I'm not so strict that I can't enjoy a good time, am I? Deal me in."
"Rarity, if this pony jabs me in the butt one more time, I think I'm going to explode, with an actual blast wave, and a lot of fire," Gilda whispers violently, before leaping in shock when a large branch is used to annoy her into assuming her "Fashionable" expression.
Rarity shrugs helplessly, tightening the crystal cloth armbands and scarf. "I'm sorry Gilda, I've lost all control of the situation, I'm afraid,"
Photo Finish, however, seems to be on cloud nine. "It's going to be sensational! I can see it now Gilda, your hyperviolent presence will turn the fashion world upside down! It's primal, it's downright primal! Ponies will be falling head over heels for this lineup!" she shouts, lost in the delight of model management.
She grabs Gilda's cheek, tugging on it playfully "Yes, yes! That scowl! That is the ticket!" she says, before turning and walking away.
Gilda sighs, attempting to roll up her sleeve. "Alright, I'm beating her up," Gilda states, before Rarity hisses pleadingly, rolling her sleeve back down. "Please Gilda, as one lady to another, if you do this, I will owe you whatever you want! Just endure for this one show."
Gilda sighs again, smiling slightly. "Fine, just one."
Then someone jabs her again with the stick, and all of that goes out the window as her eye twitches.
"Nope. Changed my mind. I'm out of here," she states, walking for the door while Rarity hugs her hindleg.
"No! Please! Please please please, who could I possibly get to replace you minutes before the runway show?!"
Gilda opens the door to a scowling ebony unicorn mare with blindingly green eyes, and a... Smug looking Fluttershy?
"I'm glad you asked, Rarity," Fluttershy says softly, having heard the mournful lament from the other room.
Rarity leaps to her feet in an instant, examining the grumpy mare with a keen eye. "Who is this, Fluttershy?"
She shrugs slightly, making Gilda's eyes widen. When did Fluttershy get this sassy?
"Just somepony who owes me a favor. Go on, 'Queen Meany', it's time for your fitting."
Rarity and Gilda's eyes widen with realization, recognizing the pony as one of Weiss's old disguises.
"Weiss? What on earth would make you owe Fluttershy this massive of a favor?" Rarity exclaims while Gilda just starts laughing helplessly.
Queen Meany turns their head to the side, their violent scowl increasing by the minute as they realize just what the butter pegasus had talked them into doing. "I don't want to talk about it."
Nightmare yawns again. Well, it's not like she has anything better to do, waiting on Weiss to come in here and try to torment her properly. Time to see what all those ponies seem to like about sleeping.
Resting her head on the invisible black ground beneath her, she allows her eyes to slowly slide closed, until...
"Ow!" Nightmare shouts, leaping to her hooves when a drop of hot water splashes on her face. She jerks around, looking left right and up for any sign of what might have done that. The water hadn't truly been painfully hot, just shockingly so, compared to the slight chill of the room she was in.
She yawns again, the small jolt of adrenaline wearing off and leaving her properly tired.
When she tries once again to fall asleep, another drop lands on her face, shocking her awake.