The thing you need to know is that my spells? My spells are great, I'm literally just the best speller in the world. One time, I spelled so hard that bees all around the world started saving up food just in case I showed up. That's how great my spells are. Of course, you'll just have to take my word for it. Literally, you'll have to take the words I'm writing, and stuff em in your brain. And if you do enough of that, you might just learn something, you adorable little dunderhead you.
And you know who's awfully rude, despite my bee-impressing, bee-winning skills, and of course, my charming personality and amazing fashion sense? Those rude little princesses. I mean really, imprisoning someone for a thousand years, and dumping them somewhere boring. I don't even think there's a thing that can be done that's more rude than making someone be somewhere boring.
I mean really. All I did was to make their pitiful little lives a bit more entertaining. And my own life far more entertaining at that. Thanks to me, there's whole mountains that you can climb in reverse, because they're upside down, I fixed all their poor little farms, so now they can play chess on them, and sure, maybe I made a few ponies have legs so long that they couldn't actually lean down far enough to reach the ground, but that sort of pie-in-the-sky thinking is exactly what makes me so great. I made every pie on the planet fly, you see. Just for them!
The princesses didn't jump straight to the rainbow riot hose, though. Oh no, first they tried to do things the old fashioned way, which is just so out of date, it isn't even funny. Expired, really. Celly tries to turn me into flambe with a tiny sun, Luna tries to turn me into a something-sickle, and a few seconds later, pow! I'm back and still having a good time. I honestly thought it was kind of entertaining, all the stuff they tried. So I was like "Eh, whatever, I'll let them have their fun."
And then they got really rude with me. I was just flattening out some space to try a little fun experiment with turning bulls into monkeys, when who else but the royal dorks show up. And boy did they bring the thunder. Literally, they tossed a bunch of stuff at the ground from orbit, and the other one brought a bunch of clouds over. Now, I thought this was pretty neat, so I went ahead and let them set it up. Golly, that did not turn out well...
Turns out, they figured that since I regenerate whenever they tried something, they'd just try something that never ends. Namely, a bunch of mean little lightning bolts started striking me every half-second or so. I mean, it was pretty clever. But it was also really boring, so I had to come up with something, because those clouds weren't going to unbolt themselves. It hit me, an idea for the best spell ever.
I went ahead and turned every single cloud on the planet into cotton candy. Can't get thunderbolts from those, now can you, silly ponies. Honestly, I don't really like doing the same trick twice, but, eh, sometimes you have to spend chaos to make chaos.
I'm bored now. Writing is boring.