//------------------------------//
// Epilogue: News From EDN 
// Story: Anon von Bismarck 
// by WojakWriter 
//------------------------------//



EQUESTRIAN DAILY NEWS




Issue#784 8-19-1009

Editors Note: The following article comes to us from the esteemed noble and writer of the book Royal Review: A Thousand Years in the Sun; Ink Swell. He has submitted this essay to us knowing full well the impact it could have on his personal reputation. However, in his own words, 'the ponies of Equestria must have a voice of reason to hear'. We at EDN represent a diverse spectrum of pony races and political views, and so we must represent a variety of voices. That said, Mr. Swell is not a member of our staff and his personal beliefs may not coincide with that of the ponies at EDN. With all the formality said, please enjoy this special article.



”Ponykind has seen its greatest upheaval since the dawn of Equestria.” Princess Celestia said these words on the eve that the last Lunarian holdout finally put down their arms and the Great Eastern Rebellion was ended. So too was this quote paraphrased by Chancellor Anonymous in one of the many victory speeches he made last year. In fact it was one of the most emphasized topics he spoke of; whether in public or on the air, and the comparison was even apt.

Of course, to anypony involved in politics it's an obvious tactic, and one that he has used quite often. Whatever pony designed that outfit ought give themselves a pat on the back. It works perfectly to soothe an ache we have developed after eight hundred years, deep yearning for our beloved princess of the sun. However, this has led to some serious concerns that must be outed; no matter how uncomfortable they may be to confront.
 
Take, for example, the suddenness with which war came to our doorstep after Anonymous took power. It was hardly three months into his reign when a surprise invasion was launched on Trottingham, an action that cost the lives of so many. What's more, they practically threw themselves at the Northern Narrows immediately after, trying to break through the stalwart defense forces and encircle us.

Where was the military intelligence that surely would have seen the massive buildup required for such an invasion? A campaign of this scale is no small undertaking, or so I've been told by my contacts within the army. Consider as well that, before his frankly meteoric rise, Anonymous was the emissary to the Griffon Empire. He dealt with them daily for years before heading up the foreign ministry, and he did so with a great deal of success.

This would give him ample opportunity to build up connections within the empire. Perhaps he leaked some sort of intelligence that gave them the confidence that it would be an easy campaign. Such are the ideas of conspiracy theorists the country over, not a single one taken seriously of course. And rightly so, for without hard evidence to support them it would be simple foolishness to consider. Such evidence simply will not be coming to light in a short time; for despite how widespread the stories of the war are, two of the cornerstone events remain totally classified. The beginning and, perhaps more interestingly, the end.

The events of the First Battle of Trottingham have been partially classified a military secret since they occured. Normally it's to avoid the persecution of the surviving members of the unit stationed there, though I personally believe it to cover up the total failure of intelligence and the humiliation of the defeat of Trottinghams defenders. The only facts that have emerged is that the Royal Guard stationed there failed to repel the assault.

But more strange is the secrecy surrounding the capitulation of Griffonstone. Many don't see this as the end, rather as the mere last battle, but this was truly where peace was made. You would think, as I often do, that the government would spread propaganda of the triumph of Equestrian values and hardworking soldiery. But instead they've hushed it up, and why? Rumours abound, as they always do, but rest assured dear reader that I will work diligently to assemble them into something rational.

This is not the place for military speculation however, but on the character of Anonymous. Conspiracies aside, he doubtless has the interests of ponykind at heart. The issues lie with how he acts on those interests. There is little doubt that we could have stopped at Trottingham and sued for peace, there was hardly a need to be the aggressor. Calling the Griffon Empire an “autonomous protectorate” should fool nobody. Now we govern their lands like an empire, occupiers in all but name. 

But where is the uproar, the marches in the streets that ought to accompany such a divergence from our communal values? Of course, they are nowhere to be seen. Instead we indulge the being that led us to this path of madness. It is not within us to rise up against our rulers anymore, for we can hardly think anything bad of them. Look how quickly we have forgiven Princess Luna, exiled for a thousand years but after less than a decade she is back on her throne. Of course she has more than earned her forgiveness with the Liberation of Trottingham and her fine leadership in battle and upon the throne. But Anonymous has no such deeds to his name.

And what has happened with Luna? She gladly assists him in any task he decides to partake upon. She seems to no longer serve Equestria, but only serve Anonymous.

Not to mention the speed with which our peace with the changelings arrived after he took the throne is also extremely suspicious. Changelings, our mortal enemies, signing a peace treaty and integrating themselves into our society? Celestia would’ve never stood for this, but because he’s on the throne we’re meant to bow down and accept this? Who does Anonymous think he is?

And where has Celestia gone? She’s left us all without a single word, and we’re meant to trust somepony who isn’t even a pony? What if she’s in danger, and he refuses to let us know? What if she never willingly gave him the throne, and a secret coup happened that we’re all unaware of?

Of course, more conspiracy, but it still raises a good question. Where is Celestia?

And I'm certain we have all heard the whispers as well, of his feuding with Princess Cadence and Prince Shining as well. You might say it is nothing, especially with the recent launch of their sister ship to the ESS Victorious. But let us not forget their complaint against the first name of that vessel, the EGS Celestia. What kind of fool would name a ship made only for war after a monarch that brought eight centuries of peace to her people?

My fellow Equestrians, do not let his smile and outstretched hand deceive you; he may be a greater danger to our kind than even monsters like Discord and Tirek. They wanted the destruction of all of us, but Anonymous wants us to become as twisted as he is. Be vigilant my friends, do not let yourselves give in to the succor of conquest. Remember that even one dissenting voice can echo louder than a cannon.



Finishing up my reading, I pushed my cigar into an ashtray.

Smoking Equestrian tobacco wasn’t all that bad for a man, surprisingly.

Skimming over the article again, I smiled.

Ink Swell huh? Might have to give the Thestral Wardens a new name to the list. Maybe shake him up a bit, maybe throw him into a prison. Who knows? But I couldn’t allow these articles, these “journalists” to print such things.

EDN wasn’t at fault, but I’d need the Wardens to pay them a visit, remind them that they’re ran by the state.

The ponies over there wouldn’t say anything. They needed me after all. 

And the general population wouldn’t say anything either. They needed rulers and tyrants to keep them from tearing themselves apart.

They didn’t have a say in the matter.

Glory to Equestria.