• Published 21st May 2019
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The Unique Properties of Dark Magic - Shadestyle



Stranded in Equestria's far past in the body of a unicorn without any magical knowledge, the self proclaimed "Weiss Noir" fights for survival in the Frozen North by indulging in sorcery most foul.

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(Present Chapter 7): Winter Shut-In

"Weiss, come on. You can't just hide away in your lab for the entirety of winter!" Sunset says, stomping her hoof firmly.

Weiss turns a dial on a strange contraption made out of dream-catchers and crystals. A giant metal antennae extends out of the top of the contraption in response to Weiss's modulation.

"Inputting code phrase. Tarot Designation: "The Moon", please respond," Weiss mumbles into the microphone, nursing a bottle of cheese-chocolate-lime soda.

The machine bleeps sadly, indicating that the response was "No."

"Inputting code phrase. Primary Designation: "Arcana Nox", please respond," Weiss says more firmly.

Sunset gives Weiss a blank look when the machine bleeps out another "No."

She walks closer, and speaks again. "Weiss, are you even listening?"

At this, Weiss sighs in annoyance. "Sunset, I want to see as little snow as possible right now, can't you leave me and my sodie-pop in peace?"

Sunset fails to comprehend the strange shift in Weiss's behavior that had overtaken him recently. Before, he had been going into town almost every other day, sometimes with the most hairbrained reasons imaginable, (She had never seen somepony look so suspicious, yet so intrigued, when he asked that apple mare if she would be willing to produce and sell Zap Apple Cider Vinegar when the season rolled around). But that all stopped in an instant when winter started, the reclusive mage becoming even more reclusive, sealing the windows of his tower shut and hiding away from the world.

Normally, this wouldn't have bothered Sunset in the least. Weiss had even been working on his paradox research more with nothing better to do, so it directly helped Sunset for him to avoid going out like this. But the problem emerged when she began to see the mask crack, so to speak. Weiss had slowly grown more and more frustrated and morose, and that machine of his, which he had been fiddling with in every free moment he had, was not helping his mood at all. Whatever he was trying to use it to make contact with, it didn't seem to be doing it.

"So you're just going to stay in here for three months?" Sunset frowns.

Weiss gives her a sideways glance, before turning off his broadcast machine. "As a matter of fact, I am. I have important work to take care of, some of which is relevant to your situation, in case you forgot."

Sunset shrugs at this. "Have you found anything yet?"

He shrugs, pulling down two tomes from his shelf, labeled "Violent Sort's Teleporting Tome" and "Greedy Guts's Metabolic Metamorphosis", opening them up to bookmarked pages to refresh his memory. "I'm working on it. Give me some time to contact the correct ponies, and I'll have an amulet that should solve your problems. You'll need to bulk up for it to work, though."

Sunset's face scrunches up in confusion as she tilts her head and ears accordingly. "Bulk up?"

Weiss chuckles and whispers. "Avidus."

With a crack of lightning and a snap of his fingers, a sack of ordinary Equestrian Bits are teleported into his grip.

"Go to Sugarcube Corner, ask for something off of Pinkie's Personal Menu. You'll need a lot of calory intake for my planned solution, so Pinkie Pie is your new dietician," Weiss says, tossing her the sack, which she catches.

Sunset refuses to leave it at that, not accepting of Weiss's blatant vagueness. "I think I deserve an explanation of your plan, Weiss, considering the fact that I don't understand what it's supposed to accomplish. Kind of like everything you do, really."

Weiss looks surprised at her actually questioning one of his plans, and has to drag himself out of some old thoughts before he can reply.

"Come on Sunset, can't I keep it a surprise?" He pleads with a pout that contrasts against her deadpan stare.

She responds eloquently, with a resounding "No."

With a groan of disappointment and annoyance, Weiss reaches over to the bookshelf, before Sunset stops him.

"If you're going to be so whiny about it, I'll get my explanation later. It's not like you're going to trick me or something," Sunset lies, making Weiss's expression turn devilish.

A chortle escapes his lips. "Well of course not, dear Sunset. I've never been one to give an innocent pony falsehoods before."

As Sunset leaves, she ponders how gullible Weiss must be to have bought that at face value.

"Well, at least that put him in a better mood. I'll just get my answers from the horse's mouth, so to speak," She mumbles to herself, already having memorized the titles of the books that Weiss pulled out. She'll just write a letter to the Princess to get some copies of them to figure out his plan.

"Now, just how would combat teleportation help fix me..?" She finishes, plodding down the trail to Ponyville, deciding that trying the secret menu couldn't hurt, exactly.

Some sugary baked goods are just the thing to deal with the chill while she waits on a response, Sunset smiles.


Pinkie cringes at Sunset's request.

"Ah..."

"Are you sure?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake really don't like me serving that stuff to... ponies," She trails off.

Sunset can't help but ask. "What, does it taste bad or something? I heard you were a really good baker, I'm sure your personal favorites will taste fine, right? Your secret menu was recommended, actually!"

'Well, the customer is always right...' Pinkie thinks to herself, nervously, as she grabs the crayon-etched menu that helped her accidentally put three ponies in the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

"Buttermilk Vanilla Wafer Cake? That doesn't sound too bad. Ooh! and it comes with a milkshake!" Sunset says, reading through the menu as she sits at the bar.

"I'll take one," She says, sealing her fate.

As she waits for Pinkie to finish her order, the jingling of Sugarcube Corner's doorbell heralds the entrance of a pair of ponies, Trixie and Twilight.

Oh, her little dragon friend seems to be there too.

"Don't worry, Trixie, you're overestimating how awkward it will be," Twilight says confidently, walking up to the bar with the morose magician.

"Twilight, Trixie can assure you that it will be most humiliating for her to receive tutoring for any reason. It would be best if we were all on the same page about that," Trixie says in response, plopping her rear onto one of the seats, and pulling up a menu.

Spike decides to chime in, while Twilight is ordering. "Hey, it's not going to be that bad, Twilight might be the battiest pony in Equestria when there's learning to be done, but if there's one thing she knows, it's humiliating ponies. Er! I mean, education!"

"Thanks Spike," Twilight deadpans, as Pinkie wheels out the three dishes.

"Here you are girls, one hot chocolate with extra hay, two cookies, one chocolate chip, one marble chip, and..."

Sunset feels a cold sweat erupt on the back of her neck when she sees the Milkshake, as it seems to have come in the jar of a modified blender, instead of a glass or mug.

The first thing Sunset notices is the fact that it's topped with bananas, whipped cream, hot fudge, brownies, donuts, and donut glaze. Inside the actual drink, she notices that it's an extremely thick strawberry and cherry milkshake, judging from the spoon and extra wide straw crammed into it, alongside a small pink drink umbrella.

"Well, that's... Quite a milkshake," Levitating the knife that came with her plate, she turns to the cake, a ten foot tall, off-white cylinder, surprisingly undecorated.

"Well, at least this looks a bit less extravagant, even if it is completely huge, I'll need a heck of a take-home box for this one!"

Sunset looks a bit confused at the slice she takes out of the ordinary-looking confection.

"The inside looks a bit odd, and shouldn't it be thinner, if it's a wafer cake?"

Pinkie nods. "It is a wafer cake, thirty-seven one-inch vanilla wafers, in fact, with thirty-six two-inch layers of delicious buttermilk frosting between them!"

Trixie and Twilight both look on at Sunset's plate in awe, fear, and curiosity. Surely she can't be considering actually eating that, can she?

Spike is too distracted with the bliss derived from his own cookie to notice or care.

Gulping, Sunset looks up at Pinkie's strained grin.

"I can take it back, if you don't want it. You'll need to sign a liability form before I'll give you the fork anyway," Pinkie says, offering the jagged-haired mare an out.

Gulping silently, Sunset shakes her head. "No, I've got this," She levitates the quill out of Pinkie's hooves and signs away her right to sue Sugarcube Corner for the consequences of eating this dish.

Using her newly obtained fork to spear a donut out of the milkshake, she scoops some fudge onto it, and takes her first bite, as the ponies around her silently remember the brave mare.


"Celestia save me" Sunset moans, with a distended gut and the worst stomachache.

She isn't sure how she managed to finish both the milkshake and a good chunk of the cake, but she did, and she regrets it.

"Should I call the hospital?" Pinkie says with the ease of someone who has had to do so her fair share of times in the past.

Sunset waves her off. "No, no, I'm good. Urp," She belches lightly.

Trixie and Twilight, who had been frozen in horror as she went at it, are broken free of the spell that sealed them away for what felt like an eternity.

"So..." Twilight says slowly.

"You usually don't come into town unless somepony makes you, what's the occasion, Sunset?"

Sunset nods. "Usually, Weiss is trying to convince me to try and make friends here... For some reason. I'm actually just grabbing a snack. Or at least, I thought I was, Ugh."

"And then I'm going to the post office to send a letter to Princess Celestia."

Twilight's eyes light up.

"What for? I could have Spike send it for you, if you like," She offers, making Spike perk up at the mention of his name.

Sunset ponders this for a moment.

"I guess it couldn't hurt. I actually need two books that I'm not sure are in print. "Violent Sort's Teleporting Tome" and "Greedy Guts's Metabolic Metamorphosis", have you heard of them?"

Twilight balks at that. "Heard of them? I have some copies at the library, as a matter of fact! Why do you need those, though? The spells in them are pretty restricted, and outdated to boot. One of them wasn't even written by a pony."

Sunset offers up her simple answer. "The Princess helped me convince Weiss to help me with something, and he was reading those two books in particular while he was doing it. But I have no clue why, since the problem he's supposed to be helping me with is related to time-magic."

"I was hoping that reading the books myself would give me some idea of what he's attempting."

Twilight ponders this while Trixie gulps down the last of her hot chocolate, which had been reheated by Pinkie when she was distracted.

"Tell you what, Sunset, meet me at the library, and I'll help out. I'm not as familiar with those spellbooks as some of the others, but I've taken the time to memorize them once or twice."

Sunset turns over the idea in her head, before nodding.

Pinkie pops in at this point to do her due diligence. "Do you want that to-go-box for your cake?" She asks, gesturing to the cake with only one slice taken out of it.

Sunset's stomach violently rejects even the slightest notion of accepting that offer with an angry growl.

"Uhh," She pauses. "No thanks, I'm good."

Pinkie shrugs, before devouring the entire cake in a split second, and spitting out the plate it was on into her outstretched hoof, where she takes it back into the kitchen to wash.

Everyone except for Spike is a bit shocked at the event, but shrugs it off quickly.

"Oh, Trixie, you should come along too, we can make a day of helping Sunset, and then helping you!" Twilight says cheerfully.

The blue mare shrugs. "Works for Trixie."


"It doesn't make any sense to Trixie, why would a book on dragon magic help anypony?" Trixie questions, sitting at the table, watching Twilight and Sunset in perfect sync as they chew through book after book in pursuit of studying the two tomes that Sunset saw Weiss using.

Twilight answers in part. "Well, I don't understand how, but apparently, Weiss Noir was famous for his use of dragon magic, in the ancient past. He even pioneered a few spells himself. It's very likely that he could use a dragon's metabolistic magic as well. It's honestly stunning that Rarity is even able to cast a gem-finding spell, considering it's roots in greed-based dragon magic."

Spike walks over around this time, carrying another load of books that he plops onto the table.

Awe enters his face at Twilight's declaration. "Wait, Rarity can use dragon magic? That's amazing, Celestia said it couldn't be done when you asked her about it, remember?"

This prompts Sunset to continue where Twilight left off in the explanation. "The level of greed required to harness this sort of magic is just not safe for a pony's mind to channel under normal circumstances, no matter how skilled you are at performing magic."

Spike nods. "That's exactly what she said, yeah!"

Sunset growls, snapping one of the books shut. "I don't get it, what does magic that alters a dragon's metabolic processes and regeneration have to do with spells designed to use teleportation to damage targets with harmful micro teleportation?"

Twilight puts a hoof on Sunset's shoulder, calming her. "We'll figure this out, between the three of us, we're sure to come up with something. You said he was going to make an amulet to somehow remove your paradox status, correct?"

At Sunset's nod, Twilight continues. "So what do all of these things have in common? An archaic form of Lacusurgy, Metabolistic Magic, and Paradox Cessation."

Trixie pipes up. "Isn't Lacusurgy used to pull things out of ponies without harming them? How does that relate to using teleportation to cause harm?"

Sunset answers, this time. "They're technically the same thing. Lacusurgy is when teleportation magic is used instead of surgery, to remove parts of a pony without the usual downsides of undergoing a surgical procedure."

"But if Weiss were trying to do that, why would he be cobbling together a crude form of it when it's already an established school of magic? And why would he need dragon metabolic magic along with it?"

Twilight pops in at this with a small fact. "Well, lacusurgy was only invented in the last three-hundred years, with the formation of the Great Snake country of Hissrael."

"Maybe Weiss just doesn't know that it already exists? I can't condone him taking books all the way into the Everfree, but if he's willing to come, he could always read up on it here."

Sunset shakes her head. "He hasn't left his tower in weeks. Apparently, he hates snow, or something."

Twilight and Trixie tilt their heads at this, silently urging her to continue.

"I don't get it either. Wasn't the Shadow Realm all cold and icy? He should be right at home," She wonders aloud.

Twilight has a thought. "If there's one pony who knows more about Weiss than anyone in Ponyville, it would be Zecora. I bet if we talked to her, we could figure it out, and get a greater understanding of his plans. Know thy enemy!"

"Sorry Trixie, looks like your lesson is going to have to be postponed. We've got a mystery to solve!" Twilight shouts, hoof to the sky and curiosity burning.

Trixie shrugs thoughtlessly.

"Spike, you stay here and keep an eye on the place," Twilight requests, making the little dragon salute her.

Spike picks up the discarded books that the girls left behind when they went out through the door.

"Dragon magic, huh..?" Spike says, as he opens the book up curiously.


Zecora ponders Twilight's question as they all sip at the warming soup that she had produced for the trio of ponies that came knocking at her door earlier.

"Of your question I am most unsure. ~ All I can offer is conjecture."

"While stories spoke of his famed analgia ~ They say his secret flaw was nostalgia."

"From time to time, his followers would find ~ That he was frozen, to a halt he would grind."

"When he was questioned as to the "whys" ~ He would snap free to speak, mist in his eyes."

"A sight I saw, reminded me ~ Of a place that I can no longer be."

"He'd say some words, some referenced lines. ~ From his homeland's most ancient times."

Zecora, having given context to her next words, speaks them simply, without any insistence that she might be right.

"Perhaps he fears the sight of snow ~ Will bring him back where he cannot go."

Twilight thinks about this. "What do you mean, where he cannot go?"

Zecora shrugs slightly at this, sipping at her soup and pulling her cloak a bit tighter around her body.

"His lost forgotten shadowed land ~ Crushed beneath the old clock's hand."

"Though its place may still exist, ~ Its time has been lost to the abyss."

Trixie thinks about this for a minute, before throwing her hat into the ring. "So you're saying he doesn't feel at home here, because he still misses his old one?"

Twilight's internal lightbulb can be seen activating from within her eyes as she comes to a realization. "Of course! If we make him feel at home, maybe he'll stop acting like such a jerk to everypony!"

She looks Zecora dead in the eyes. "Can you help us convince Weiss to come to Ponyville? Pinkie still hasn't thrown a welcome party for him, and a Pinkie Party didn't fail to make me feel at home in a strange place!"

Zecora gives Twilight a funny look for her logic. "Indeed, I could do so, if you wished. Though in his own words I think he'd be "pissed"."

"Maybe, but it's worth a try, isn't it?" Twilight's use of rhetoric in her question is the only bulwark against a sarcastic rebuttal from Zecora in that moment, as they begin making plans.


Trixie sweats despite the cold as she stares at the skulls which serve as literal fountains of what appears to be magma, embedded in the obsidian double doors of Weiss's Tower.

"Trixie must say, this pony has a flair for the dramatic," She says nervously as the skulls stop dripping lava when they walk closer, and turn in their sockets on the door to stare directly at the trio of ponies.

Twilight nods. "Celestia told me about this. Weiss Noir would always plan around the path ponies would take to reach something. That's why she would just smash through his ceiling instead."

Sunset looks confused. "That's odd, normally the door doesn't act like this."

Zecora gives the door a suspicious glance as it slowly swings open, and torches inside ignite with white fire, unveiling a long hallway.

"Friend or no, we should be wise ~ Stay together, sharpen your eyes," She warns, taking point into the tower.

"More arrive, foolishly seeking fortune and glory... In this domain... Of the Damned." The room bellows in a deep voice.

"Weiss, what is going on here?!" Sunset shouts, making a hiss of static erupt from around them, the group flattening their ears at the loud noise.

"Shit, Sunset? You brought friends? Hold on, just let me deactivate the wards..." Weiss's voice rings out.

Some miscellaneous noises make their way through the magical intercom, before Weiss speaks up again.

"Seriously girl, I figured it would take at least another few weeks to gather... three whole friends, according to the weight detectors? Is this one of those pranks where you come in and there's a bunch of guards with you to arrest me or something? Whatever, come in."

Shrugging to the baffled Trixie, the quadrio walk deeper into the tower, passing by a variety of discolored walls, and stepping onto bulging tiles that oddly click, all while being unaware of the danger that they're bypassing this time around when nothing activates.

When they enter Weiss's laboratory, they see that he's half buried in the innards of a giant machine, covered in sweeping smooth white armor, and embossed with glittering cyan crystals.

"That- That's pure Orichalcum! How in Equestria could you have gotten your hooves on that much of it?!" Twilight balks.

Weiss pulls himself free of the machine, slapping the panel closed and wiping glitter off his face.

"Oh that's an easy one, I've got stashes of orichalcum all over the place, in case of an orichalcum emergency. And before you ask, no, this isn't a weapon of terror. It's just a worthless prototype that you absolutely won't be able to use against me, since it would require quite possibly the best flier in Equestria to control it."

"And the real one will be so much stronger~!" Weiss very nearly giggles at Twilight's look of confusion and intrigue as he does a little jig in anticipation of the final version of his weapon.

"So what's up, my unusual assortment of acquaintances?"

Sunset takes point. "We're here to convince you to come with us to Ponyville. It's important."

Weiss's jovial demeanor shatters like fine sapphire sheets, morphing into a blank stare.

"I'm sorry to hear it. It's never fun when one faces an impossible task," He says simply, turning back to his machine.

Sunset refuses to leave it at that, grabbing his shoulder. "Weiss, you can't just trap yourself in here. If there's something about winter that bothers you, you should face it. You stared down a lot worse than some flakes of ice."

Though she can't see it as he's turned away still, Weiss's lips twitch up into a scowl briefly before he manages himself.

"You'll have to pardon the childish undertones of what I'm about to say, but you literally cannot make me," He responds, removing Sunset's hoof from his body with an extra hand.

Twilight gives Zecora a glance that she receives.

Zecora speaks up, making Weiss freeze. "She cannot, that much is true, ~ But convincing you is something I can do."

"I have my first request thus ~ I would like you to come with us."

The girls can practically feel the tension rise, as Weiss clenches his fists, still not having turned around.

In a moment, that tension breaks, as Weiss sighs and his limbs bonelessly flop to his sides.

He sighs again. "So you have wished it, so it shall be."

"Last time I hand out a blank check for requests. I offer jewels, power and knowledge, and she asks for the hard stuff," He mutters to himself, cloaking his body in warming flames as they escort him to the exit.

Sure enough, like Zecora implied, the sight of an endless expanse of snow when the door opens leaves him staring at it blankly, trapped in some old memory.

♪"Put one foot in front of the other,"♪ He sings softly.

They don't ask, and he doesn't explain.


"I can't believe you all brought me out in the god-forsaken snow for a surprise party," Weiss says, sipping at a glass of lemon-vanilla soda, waving cheerfully at the violence-promising stare of Gilda and Rainbow Dash off to the side.

Sunset chuckles. "Well, I had to do something. If you looked any sadder, I'd have to start babyproofing the tower." She jokes grimly, a holdover from browsing the human world's internet a touch too much.

"To be frank now, though I once held silent, ~ I thought your reaction would be much more violent," Zecora questions.

"What drove your hiding and diversions, ~ If not a painful memory's aversion?"

Weiss shrugs, looking out of a window wistfully at the houses of Ponyville, now coated in pristine white snow like a blanket.

"I was worried that if I saw the town like this, all covered in snow and winter cheer, I might become too comfortable with it. My plans don't account for me growing fond of Ponyville."

Rubbing his eyes with a claw, he chuckles. "I'll simply have to adjust my plans accordingly."

"Something wrong, Weiss?" Pinkie pops up, sensing an eye being rubbed nearby and preparing the emergency cupcake to be deployed accordingly.

Weiss shrugs. "Well, it's cold as shit outside, and I'm enjoying a party thrown in my honor. So I'm feeling a bit nostalgic."

Pinkie nods sagely, before wrestling the confused dark sage into a chokehold, and stuffing the emergency nostalgia cupcake into his face hole.

Gilda's cheers and whoops are gratifying to the party pony, looks like even a grumpy griffon understands the importance of cupcake therapy.

Or is it just the fact that Pinkie is pinning all six of Weiss's arms behind his back?

Probably the cupcake thing.


Looking out the window at the ominous tower in the distant Everfree Forest, Twilight is, strangely enough, reminded of the tower she practically lived in back in Canterlot.

With Spike asleep in his bed, Twilight decides to write this letter herself, pulling out the quill, inkwell, and paper accordingly.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned a powerful lesson in friendship. Though I had friends to help me adjust to being in Ponyville, there are others who aren't as lucky when moving to a new place, and It can be extremely disorienting to be reminded of one's old home. A friendship can both be forged and strengthened more easily when a pony is made to feel welcome, even if they are quite literally evil.

Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle."

Author's Note:

The song of the day is "Snowy", from Undertale.

This concludes the "Back is the New Black" Arc.

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