• Published 21st May 2019
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The Unique Properties of Dark Magic - Shadestyle



Stranded in Equestria's far past in the body of a unicorn without any magical knowledge, the self proclaimed "Weiss Noir" fights for survival in the Frozen North by indulging in sorcery most foul.

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(Present Chapter 6): Make a Wish

Weiss stares at the book that he had managed to acquire days before, and, staring at it, all he can think is how much he would have loved to meet its creator. The book twists and undulates with powerful dark magic, woven together by what is clearly the hand of a master. If only their works had been recorded in more than this enchanted tome, what good could have been done with it.

"Well, no use lamenting what could have been," Weiss says, pulling out the purple sock-hat that he had made to absorb the energy of the book's curse when he activates it, to tie the power of Inspiration Manifestation to his brand new Wishing Cap instead of binding it to himself, when he chooses to activate the book.

As Weiss stares at the floppy headwear, he can't help but feel disappointed at how mundane it looks, compared to the Minish Cap from his memories.

"Hmm. Well, I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in asking for... additional help," Weiss smiles to himself.

Trotting down the stairs, he packs his prototype hat into the pockets of a vest he slaps together, opens the door, and then stands there in dumb shock at the pony looking at him apathetically on his porch.

"You're... not supposed to be here?" Weiss says dumbly, body tense.

Sunset smirks. "I'm from a different timeline."

At this, Weiss sighs. "I knew building that machine would come back to bite me in the ass. Alright, should I prepare to be Terminated then, Schwarzenegger?"

Though his horn doesn't yet start glowing, it's clear that he's prepared to start yeehawing spells like an old-timey gunslinger at the drop of a hat.

Sunset shakes her head. "You used it to save my life. Celestia sent me here to convince you to resume your studies into paradox management so I can keep it."

Weiss glares, distrustful of her impossible words. "What could possibly have convinced me to use that damned machine for any reason? Especially to save someone who could hypothetically have never existed? My plans very clearly do not account for taking that sort of risk, in any timeline."

Sunset takes a deep breath, and quotes what the alternate timeline Weiss told her to quote. "Do not hate ponies. If you cannot live with them, then at least do them no harm. For theirs is already a hard lot."

Weiss pauses for a moment. He then pauses for another moment.

Finally, he chuckles. "Paraphrased from Castlevania; Symphony of the Night. That explains it.

"So this is what it feels like to be on the receiving end of my twisted sentimentality," He claims with a short sigh.

He shakes his head, turning away from Sunset to pace ponderously in his doorway. "How did the line right before that one go? The one Dracula says?" he asks rhetorically.

"Ahh, now I remember. For what profit is it to a man, if he gains the world, and loses his own soul? Matthew 16:26, I believe."

"So your Weiss must have seen you in quite the sorry state, if you managed to tug on what frayed threads remained among his heartstrings."

Huffing, Weiss throws his arms in the air, his dramatic demeanor instantly shattering in favor of annoyance. "Whatever! This kind of messes with my plans, but whatever, who cares."

Trotting past Sunset, he shouts back. "Come on, then, I've got business in town, we'll walk and talk."

"I might have a few solutions in mind."

Sunset, confused but altogether feeling as though she was successful at convincing him, follows the dark sage down the trail to Ponyville.


"Just a little bit longer, Rainbow Dash. You're holding up very well," Rarity says, doing some last minute measurements and sewing with her floating needles.

A knock at the door leads Rarity to shout. "Come in dearies! I'm a bit occupied!" to which the door to her boutique creaks open, and two sets of hooves click their way inside.

She hears whispering, but opts to ignore it for the moment, until an unfamiliar mare's voice pops up.

"I'm not going to do that," Sunset says, prompting a second, much more familiar voice to speak up.

"Sunset, you wanted me to save your life, right? You making friends is an unfortunate part of my plan," Weiss retorts, crossing his arms in front of him.

Rarity wheels about, while Rainbow looks ready to explode out of her frou frou getup, already tensing to attack.

"You! Get out of here!" Rarity shrieks.

Weiss tilts his head. "Well jeeze, you haven't even met Sunset yet, give her a chance."

"She doesn't mean whoever the hay that is, she means you Weiss! As in, I'm going to kick your butt!" Rainbow shouts.

Weiss glares at Rainbow Dash. "Well well well. If it isn't Princess Celestia. Even you wouldn't be so gauche as to ruin Rarity's extravagant work by fighting me in it."

Dash splutters. "What? I'm not Celestia!"

Weiss glares even harder, while Sunset is slowly realizing that she'll need to hold back laughter for what comes next. "Don't you lie to me, I would recognize that rainbow colored mane anywhere," Weiss claims confidently.

Before Rainbow can argue further, Weiss holds up a hand. "You can fight me after Rarity has that dress safely packed up for tomorrow, Princess. I refuse to fight you wearing it."

Rarity, watching this exchange, is flummoxed, while Rainbow looks like she's about to explode with embarrassed fury as she stomps into the changing room to get that garbage off her.

"Could you please explain why you are here, Weiss? I am very busy preparing for Princess Celestia's visit tomorrow, and getting Rainbow worked up with your juvenile goading won't help you any more than your attempts at flattering me have," Rarity says, cutting to the point.

Weiss nods, laying a scroll and a bolt of fabric on her table. "I'm on royal business for the princess. Also I need a hat made, I have the design here, and you can keep any of the fabric you don't use. The only stipulations are the color, gem, basic shape and gold. Anything else, I leave in your capable hooves."

Rarity floats over the scroll and looks at it skeptically. "It says here that "I'm totally NOT going to use it for a badass evil relic of super overdrive darkness". I refuse to aid you in your heinous plots, Weiss, I can't believe I'm having to state this outright. It really should be implicit."

Weiss shakes his head. "Look, I'm going to make the thing one way or another, but unless you make that hat for me, I'll be making the hat myself. You're stopping me from committing a crime against fashion."

His piece said, he pulls out the purple triangular sock-hat, and the sight of the heinous, plain-looking prototype makes Rarity growl with frustration.

"I can't believe you're blackmailing me like this," She says, stomping her hoof.

Weiss wags a finger. "It's not blackmail, I'm not using information unknown to the public to force you to act on my behalf. This is coercion, where I am using a threat to convince you to do my bidding. It's very important to know the difference between acts of evil when you're as reviled as myself. It's not that important of a mistake for a layman to make, though, I admit."

Rarity glares. "Just get out of my shop. I'll have your hat done when it's done, now, if you don't mind."

'Oh yeah, she's pissed. That's my cue.' Weiss lazily salutes and walks out of the place with Sunset.

Sunset turns to him as he begins the long trek back to the Everfree. "Why exactly did you want me to talk to them? I'm just here until somepony figures out a cure for my problem. No point making friends like that."

Weiss replies smoothly. "You're just going to have to trust that making friends here and now will give you the best chance possible of a happy, long life in Equestria."

Sunset doesn't look satisfied with this answer unfortunately, but doesn't point this out.


The next day, after a regrettable infestation of Parasprites had been dealt with with varying degrees of competence, Celestia had finally arrived for her casual visit. Twilight and her friends meeting Celestia halfway as she stepped out of her chariot.

"Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil," Princess Celestia says serenely.

"Ahh, um, hello Princess!" Twilight responds nervously as the round, locust-like parasprites bounce in an orderly line to the side following Pinkie Pie, who is decked out with a fortress of pony-portable instruments.

"So lovely to see you and your friends again," Celestia nods, not glancing over at the parasprites.

Twilight's smile is cheaply plastered on as she attempts some small talk. "So... Did you have a nice trip? I hope so..."

Before she can make the mood any more awkward, the conversation is saved by a parasprite bouncing up to Celestia, and onto her back.

"Now what's this? Oh, such adorable creatures!" She laughs.

"They're not that adorable," Rainbow Dash complains.

Thinking quickly to herself, Celestia comes up with something nice to say about what she's witnessing.

"I'm terribly honored that you and the good citizens of Ponyville have organized a parade in honor of my visit," Celestia nods with a pleased expression that hides a naughty gleam of minor deception for her student's sake, by pretending she thinks that Pinkie Pie luring the tiny monsters out of town is some sort of planned parade.

"Parade? Oh. Yes! A parade, of course!" Twilight says far too quickly to not be suspicious.

Before Celestia's freely given excuse can safely brush this matter under the rug, a puff of smoke rushes between them, forming a sealed scroll that makes Celestia's eyes roll underneath her regal mask.

Opening the scroll, Celestia reads it quietly to herself, before a crystal cleverly rolled in with the scroll falls to the ground, and begins speaking loudly, halting Celestia's plan to prevent what's to follow quite handily.

"Dear Rainbow Dash,

Full disclosure, this is me snitching on Twilight Sparkle, It's not a parade, it's an infestation of food-devouring Parasprites. Have fun explaining the part where you made them eat anything but food, and they started devouring all of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle.

Weiss Noir, we're done here."

The crystal then cracks in half, its message sent.

Celestia internally groans, having hoped that she could simply foist off some fake but vaguely threatening excuse to leave on her student so as to not embarrass her with the sight of Ponyville, which Celestia could literally see as she had approached from the sky.

Looking down at her student, she can already see the mental breakdown swelling up in her little neurotic pony.

'Oh no, she's going to put me in the stocks for this... No! She's going to put me in the sun for this... No, no! She's going to put stocks on the sun, and then put me in the stocks on the sun!' Twilight wails in her mind, her hair sticking out in all directions as her pupils constrict.

'They'll have to put me out with rotten tomatoes thrown at escape velocity!'

Before Twilight can imagine even more horrific punishments, Celestia walks over to her, and carefully leans down.

"Twilight, I'd like you to listen, if you would."

The unicorn's horn could be mistaken for a reciprocal saw with how fast she nods.

"Do you believe you've learned a lesson in friendship about all of this?" Celestia leads very softly and carefully, so as to not spook her little student.

Twilight nods rapidly.

Celestia leans back up and smiles down at Twilight. "Then let's have a talk about it. I'll send for some snacks, if there aren't any available."

With that, Celestia waves to her guards, sternly, their orders now clarified. Obtain Snacks.

Celestia nudges her student, prompting her, her friends, and the newly returned Pinkie to take a casual walk into town.

Speaking almost as though it was an afterthought, Celestia continues with one last statement to her student. "After my visit is concluded, Twilight, I thought I might show you how I handle situations in which Weiss Noir has displeased me. I think it would be a very helpful for you to get an idea of how I once managed his mischief."

When Twilight spots the blatant grin of impending doom on Celestia's face, she can't help but match it after Weiss, in his own words, "Snitched on her".


Sunset looks around in awe at the hastily assembled laboratory, shelves and shelves of plain black crystal packed to the brim with all manner of dark and ordinary relics.

"There's enough enchanted artifacts here to occupy the AMMO for decades!" She shouts, making Zecora wince at the noise.

"The who?" Weiss responds, levitating chalk around the room, leaving floating circles of frozen chalk dust in the air, which glow with magical energy.

"Acquisition and Management of Magical Objects. Celestia had them formed a while back, to gather up any artifacts floating around that might end up in the wrong hands." Sunset explains.

Weiss's eyes widen, as he almost drops his chalk in shock. "Wait, she's actually looking for those now? Shit! I hope she doesn't find the one I'm looking for, I kind of need that."

He then realizes who he's speaking to. "Don't tell her I said that."

In response to his words, the ceiling explodes inward, scattering obsidian rubble everywhere and revealing an orb of light that fades away to reveal Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle.

"Don't tell me you said what?" Celestia responds with smug enlightenment.

Zecora looks like she's about to have a panic attack at the sudden wave of ritual-ruining rubble, while Sunset is simply shocked, taking a step back from the unexpected explosion. She may have had an intimate relationship with unexpected explosions, but this was a bit excessive, in her opinion.

Weiss just rubs the bridge of his nose.

"Celestia, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. Stop destroying my home. Did you blast through every single floor just to get here?! This lab is in the basement!"

Celestia shrugs. "Your throne room wasn't on the top floor as they typically were. What was I to do?"

Weiss's glare intensifies when he sees that Twilight is taking honest to god notes about this exchange. It softens a bit with nostalgia, but he quickly returns it to its full intensity.

"Do you have a reason for being here, or was ruining my day sufficient?"

Celestia visibly considers his question. "Is continuing a "running gag" not reason enough?"

Weiss snarls. "Do you have any idea how long it's going to take me to regrow those floors?"

She raises her eyebrow in response.

"Boop" Weiss says, triggering the enchantments in the tower that force them to immediately regrow damaged portions of themselves. In a second, the ceiling seals up, and the white lights embedded in it flicker back on.

Celestia puts a hoof to her forehead. "So you're complaining over nothing, I see how it is. My dear foe Weiss, now looking for excuses to berate poor dear Celestia."

Twilight and Sunset, both having not seen much of this side of their mentor, try to hold back laughter at her melodrama, making eye contact, something unspoken is transmitted between the pair, and their restrained giggles redouble.

"Celestia, you could regrow your mane just as quickly, and you would be equally displeased if I decided to give you remedial lessons on dealing with a bad hair day," Weiss claims, summoning six separate scimitars into his hands, glittering crystal growing from the palms as his horn grows, until the slightly oversized weapons settle into his grip.

Celestia laughs at this, a slightly embarrassing, undignified guffaw that slips out before she can restrain herself. "Weiss, you fight me now and you won't be able to keep up your cute little bluff when I thrash you."

Weiss sneers, flourishing the purple crystal blades. "Oh Celestia, I have nothing but the greatest skill in maintaining a convincing bluff."

This standoff, slightly at odds with their previous behavior, gives the rest of the ponies and zebra in the room pause, considering if they should perhaps back up a bit before the area becomes thoroughly uninhabitable.

Celestia visibly rolls her eyes. "Oh fine. I'll leave you to your playdate. But I think you should let Twilight keep an eye on things here. I'd hate to discover that you're doing something untowards to my former student Sunset."

Weiss shakes his head childishly, playing along and allowing his swords to burn into nothing but ashes, for all intents and purposes ceasing to exist. "No way. She'll make fun of my ritual, and I worked really hard on it."

Celestia responds condescendingly, looking to the Inspiration Manifestation Tome. "Weiss, if you're unwilling to play nice, then I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate my toy back. You know that book is still the property of the crown."

"...Besides," she continues.

"Twilight even brought along a gift."

Twilight, seeing the cue, pulls an intricate, luxurious hat out of her saddlebags, a Golden Circlet covered in carved talons and swirling clouds, set with a dazzling ruby, and combined with glittering purple fabric shaped into an almost wizard-like cone.

"When I found out you were coercing Rarity into making this, I decided to investigate," Twilight explains.

Weiss's eyes squint as he tries to weasel his way out of being effectively spied on. "Where's your generosity, Twilight? Can't you just give me my hat and be on your merry way without extorting me for juicy secrets?"

Twilight nods, pretending she didn't hear him correctly. "Yes, my offer is very generous, considering what happened yesterday. Thank you for pointing it out."

She waggles the hat in front of him until he relents with a groan. "Fine."

As he snatches the hat out of her magical grip, he continues. "Maybe yesterday wouldn't have happened if somebody didn't need a lesson in Honesty."

Celestia's eyebrow raises even further than it had once before. "Weiss, you would be just as likely to teach somepony a lesson in tree-hugging as you would a lesson in honesty, if you thought it held sufficient entertainment value."

Weiss snaps back. "Hey, I don't do it just to entertain myself! Sometimes I do it because I'm bored, and have nothing better to do."

With that said, Celestia looks up at the ceiling with unabashed temptation in her eyes, but restrains herself and simply walks up the stairs to the exit of his tower.

As soon as she leaves, Weiss chuckles with a fond smile. "God I hate her."


"Weiss Noir, you know incantations are just a mneumonic, right? They don't actually hold any magical power of their own," Twilight says as Weiss bites his lip, trying to figure out the Rhyming Scheme of his planned ritual on a piece of scrap paper.

"Maybe for unicorn magic, but this is Zebra Magic. The power of a zebra's potent magic comes from their cleverness, the more clever they are, the more powerful they are."

"Even with the rituals that I've undergone in the past to have a mere spark of that magic, and the help of an actual Zebra, I'll need a very clever and satisfying poem to make the spellcraft work."

Twilight looks confused, but intrigued. "Will slant rhymes really work, then? They aren't REALLY rhymes, you know."

Weiss huffs. "I think slant rhymes are perfectly valid, flow and metaphor are much more important in a poem."

Looking over the paper one last time, Weiss nods. "Alright, I think that's good."

Twilight looks like she's about to point out something else, but Weiss interrupts.

"Alright, I think that's good," He repeats insistently.

Weiss continues. "Sunset, Twilight, you're like yinyangs, so you'll just stand on each of the sides and look pretty."

This prompts them to take their places without too much fuss.

"Twilight, if you can't keep your mouth shut during this, just cast the zippermouth transformation on yourself right now, because I will be genuinely upset if you ruin this," Weiss affirms with the utmost seriousness.

Twilight nods, clamping her mouth shut.

Zecora, who had been sitting on a bench in the corner of the room, stands up and trots over, slightly excited. "I have to say that this is new. ~ I've not done this, that much is true"

"A ritual is not something that one can do. ~ Indeed, an art like this requires at least two," She chuckles to herself giddily.

Weiss grins placidly, levitating the purple wizardly cap next to the Inspiration Manifestation Magical Tome.

"Step one, I need a proxy. Normally, this book places a useful but debilitating curse on the user. I, however, will be placing the curse on this hat instead. Wear the hat, experience the curse. Remove the hat, and the curse goes with it."

He opens the book, puts on the hat, and ignites his horn and eyes with purple light, and he begins a modified version of the incantation.

"From in the hat to out in the world, every thought to action.
Keep it on your head and through its spell, you'll start a chain reaction.
Projecting forth beauty on tap.
By wearing this, the Minish Cap!"

The hat turns from a thing of Gold and Jewels to an object of Magic and Spellcraft, indicated by its golden metal becoming pristine, its dazzling ruby becoming scintillating, and its purple cloth becoming a smooth, softer silk.

Twilight looks on with disgustingly unrestrained curiosity, while Sunset just looks impressed.

However disgusting Twilight's curiosity, it pales in comparison to Weiss's expression, which looks akin to a child on Christmas, receiving the toy they've always wanted.

"Stage one complete," He says, before throwing the book into the middle of the glowing chalk circles, and pulling the Minish Cap down more firmly on his head.

"Now, for the ritual. Zecora, if you would be so kind as to begin."

She nods, smiling widely as her eyes almost seem to glow.

"The flaw of meek and kindliness
When to be bold is what's required
Is the simple lack of strength
To make come true your heart's desires."

The book in the middle of the circle flips around, before standing on one of its corners and spinning slowly. In other parts of the circle, a crystalline branch, a bottle of pink liquid, and a bottle of bright blue powder float into the air.

Weiss's smile turns malicious as his eyes flash red with dark magic.

"My book, you're so obedient
To manifest my every thought
So I command, decay to sand
And take the form of what I sought."

He says, forcing the book to suddenly open, pages flapping rapidly as they begin to rot away into golden sand, which floats in the air, glowing with pure, unrestrained magic.

The two bottles pop open, and the liquid and dust inside them both flow into and around the golden powder that used to be the book, while the glassy branch slowly sways back and forth, as it floats into the middle of the circle.

The pink liquid, Heart's Desire Resin, and the blue powder, Alicorn Stardust, both combine into a bright red substance, which wraps around the white crystal branch, transforming it into a straight stick, with swirly bands like a candy cane. The Golden Powder, the Manifested Inspiration, swirls around the stick's tip, compressing into the shape of a Star, and attaching itself firmly to the rod.

Zecora begins her final verse, her words making glowing symbols appear on the Star Rod as the light in the room grows brighter and brighter, and her own eyes flare with yellow light.

"When "Wish" is spoken with panache
By those whose heart and wish align
Let not their hopes and dreams be dashed
But manifest by their design."

As soon as Zecora's final word is spoken, the room explodes with light and sound, throwing everyone to the ground.

Twilight is the first to recover, groaning as she gets to her hooves, and spots the floating object in the middle of the room.

A long, Star-tipped wand, with magic that sings to her like a choir of angels.

Weiss laughs manically, ruining the moment.

"Now nobody will be able to defeat my Minish Cap. That rod is worthless in its current state, the ritual I just performed locked its dark magic behind the most insidious conditions possible, only someone with incredibly potent, unrealized desires and a kind heart could activate it now! It's not even real dark magic anymore, because it can only activate when one's emotions are true in the first place! This particular Weapon of Light is truly my greatest one yet!"

His inane laughter continues as Zecora and Sunset manage to regain their senses as well.

Sunset just shrugs at the sight of the relic, walking over to the wall of other relics on shelves, and begins looking through them now that her job was done.

Zecora is the only individual in the room to have been as awed by what she helped create as Twilight was to witness the creation of such a potent artifact of magic.

"I did that?" Zecora mouths to herself, still tingling from feeling herself call forth so much more magic than potion brewing had ever required of her before.


Dear Princess Celestia,

It is as I had feared, Weiss has used the tome to create some sort of Relic of Darkness. A hat that he implies can grant wishes for the wearer. I fear what this new object makes him capable of. But, on a brighter note, I believe he has made a fatal mistake, instead of destroying the book, he used a Zebra Ritual to transform it into a Wishing Star, a Weapon of Light that he claimed could not be used against him, as it requires a kind, strong heart. He informed me that he was planning on storing it in a "Secure Dungeon Temple", but if it can be obtained, I believe I may know somepony who can use it to the benefit of ponykind, something he seems to believe is impossible.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

Author's Note:

The song of the day is "A Very Small Wish", from Kingdom Hearts.

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