Weiss Noir has been standing in the snow for over twenty minutes now, lost in thought.
By now, the gigantic bunker doors leading into the Shadow Realm's tunnels had long since frozen over, and the surrounding architecture had long since worn away in the face of the whipping winds.
When he sees Luna slowly gliding in from the distance, a faint smile appears on his face.
Transmuting the snow to textured ice, the Lunar Princess lands a few meters away, magical energy already stilling the nearby winds to ease travel.
"Ahh! Princess! I hadn't been expecting you!" Weiss shouts over the winds, trotting over through the snow with practiced ease as his invisible cloak of flames keeps him nice and toasty without melting the snow beneath him.
"I'm here to cleanse the Shadow Realm of the evil that has infested it," Luna explains simply, turning to the door in the distance.
Weiss's smile widens by the slightest amount. "Funny. So am I."
He huffs through his nose slightly. "Well then, let's get to walking, shall we?"
Before Luna can say anything else, the Dark Sage sweeps his cape behind him, treading off into the snow towards the abandoned courtyard.
Weiss's body shivers as he walks through the deep snow, gritting his teeth as Luna follows behind at a sedate pace.
Before long, the duo reach the center of the ancient courtyard, bare nubs of eroded stone and mounds of ice stretching off into the distance, a pristine white plain surrounding the area for miles and miles.
Weiss halts in the middle of the snow-covered courtyard, staring at where a magma fountain used to be, now nothing but a patch of concave and worn rock.
With a small smile, Weiss trots over to it, casting a small spell that lights the fountain on fire. The ice begins to melt off of the doors and around the courtyard.
He turns to Luna.
"Had to save my file," Weiss jokes, before looking around the wet stone pavement around him.
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!" Weiss shouts, with his arms gesturing around himself.
His voice is absorbed by the storm surrounding them as it trails out into the endless expanse of white snow.
"Well well, look who it is. The forgotten Sage and the lost Princess," the voice says, igniting a flickering screen near Randy, who jumps, startled.
"You should probably leave, I doubt either of them will be happy to see someone like you in a place like this," she continues, the half of her face exposed on the screen twisting into an amused expression.
Gourmet shakes his head. "My job is to keep an eye on you and secure this place. I'll call for some thugs to slow them down. You need to hurry and get whatever it is you need to fend them off."
The voice chuckles. "Oh it shouldn't be too long. In fact... I wonder if we can make this work for us."
Gourmet sweats.
"Try to lure them to the labs, Gourmet. If we can catch Weiss inputting the security codes, then I'll win in one fell swoop," she continues, distracted with some data that she brings up and begins sorting through.
"I don't believe this is a good idea," Gourmet says pointlessly, calling the thugs that he currently has hired to assist him here before putting away his grey chunk of radio rock.
The voice rolls their eyes as their horn ignites, ripping through some weakly blinking "Access Denied" messages that appear in front of them when they attempt to access the automated defense systems. "Oh where's your sense of adventure, Gourmet? You get to see if your little punks can so much as slow down Weiss and Luna until I can reactivate some of the real defenses."
Sighing loudly, Gourmet walks through the blackened halls, his lamp lighting up the dreary and decayed stone nicely enough.
"Give me a map. And put them on it. I don't want to get caught by them," Gourmet demands, before a holographic screen appears, smoothly floating by him with only a minimal amount of distortion that turns it to static as different projectors activate and deactivate from within the walls, giving the damaged illusion of one unbroken, sourceless hologram.
Of all the times for Luna to run off and pursue the purging of evil, it had to be now. Celestia summons up the tattered remains of her decorum, which she had perhaps unwisely shredded after the Solar Flare. She'll need it, if she's going to stave off these Zebra Jackals.
"As such, we demand the immediate annexation of the Everfree Forest and the surrounding towns, until such time we feel this so-called Mt. Krakatroda is not a threat to the Zebrican way of life. We also demand the immediate arrest of Thiefwitch Malusi's daughter, and custody being ceded to us so she may be brought to justice."
No offense to Zebras or Jackals in general, of course, she's referring to these specific Zebras, who are in fact, metaphorical Jackals.
"To do anything less would be nothing short of an insult to the treaty forged between our two countries centuries ago, and let me assure you, Princess Celestia, that there are those among us who will not stand for insults to the peace we've helped forge. Especially considering your recent behavior."
Oh dear. She better take care of this before continuing the rest of her internal monologue.
Her eyelids sink to half-mast as she glares at the Zebrican delegates, making half of them erupt with a white-hot rage, and the other half shudder slightly from an invisible chill.
"Perhaps your grandfathers could tell you the exact circumstances under which our treaty was forged. It's ironic that you act as you do, considering precisely why one exists," Celestia says simply, her horn igniting to display an image of the past.
"I remember when the Great Pyramid of Geezer was first built. A Zebra alchemical marvel, like none the world had seen before, not quite a mountain, but it got the job done, certainly. Harnessing the suns rays to boil it's fluids, and built exactly on the Equator, such that it's mirrors could harness sunlight from dawn to dusk to produce works of alchemy, it's construction heralded delegation after delegation demanding land and tithes from Equestria, in the face of the military power Zebrica could now afford." Celestia reminisces.
Turning away from the magical display, she smirks in a very familiar, soft way. "So I changed the Equator."
"Now our respective countries have peace. And you know what? We will continue to have peace. Because I don't respond well to threats, and you've taken your one and only opportunity to be reminded why.
"Mt. Krakatroda will remain in the possession of Equestria and her Princesses, and I myself decree it and it's land ceded to none other than Zecora of Equestria, who will be its sole master and administrator.
When the delegates don't get the hay out of her throne room, she continues. "You have my permission to leave, Senator Ahirisha," Celestia says, motioning towards the doors behind them.
"Weiss, we cannot afford for you to keep taking these breaks. We must move quickly, to settle this matter before whatever dark force has possessed this place can enact its plans," Luna says when she spots Weiss frozen for the fifth time, staring at the empty room that once held a fast-food building.
"Apologies. Right, so, we should be prepared, if this place has been truly commandeered, the defenses may have been arrayed against us. I still remember the tunnel layout, so our main goal is to avoid any of the Boss Rooms and reach an access point to the Arcana Nox," Weiss says, snapped out of his memories by Luna's words.
Turning in place as though he hadn't stopped at all, the Dark Sage begins once again stalking down the tunnels, Luna following after him.
Weiss suddenly stops, looking from left to right, scanning the various smooth doors lining the hall.
"Do you smell that?" Weiss questions, confusing Luna.
"What is it, Weiss?"
His eyes narrow, before with a snap of his fingers, two portals open behind and in front of Luna as a massive explosion rips through the hall, eradicating everything in its path aside from the Sage and the Princess.
Closing the portals, Weiss snaps his fingers again, summoning six scimitars into his hands. He begins walking forward calmly, blades whipping around him as his limbs swivel around his body freely.
The blue dragon that suddenly rushes out with a sword in its hands is shocked when Weiss is right in front of them, his gigantic axe-shaped crystal sword sending the crude steel bastard sword flying off into the distance, skittering along the ground.
Flinging the swords away, Weiss's hand flashes out, clamping the dragon teenager's mouth shut before three pummeling blows are flung at the opponent's head, dazing them long enough for Weiss's poisoned dagger to poke them in the arm.
The Dragon is out cold before they even realize what had happened to them.
Luna, attempting to break up the silence, begins to make small talk. "You know, walking into enemy territory as though we own the place-"
She suddenly interrupts herself, lifting the mercenary's discarded sword and flinging it down the hall with a burst of telekinesis, knocking out the bull that had been planning to shoot them with a crossbow.
"Kobe," she interjects as the pommel of the sword breaks the bull's nose and the small charm she had placed on it paralyzes them completely.
"Walking into enemy territory as though we own the place, taking names and farming kills, It reminds me of old times," Luna finally finishes.
Weiss chuckles, growing crystals around the dragon's arms, and the bull's legs, pinning them to the ground for later.
"I guess. Although this time, we do own the place, and we don't have the names of the ones responsible."
Luna guffaws at that, as her contingency spells automatically slam heads together as the thugs not on her internal whitelist come into range. By the time she reaches Weiss, she's still chuckling at the joke.
Weiss's smirk improves in its sincerity and the two move deeper inside, mood improved by the occasional whack of some random mercenary being pummeled into submission.
"My, your thugs are certainly useless, aren't they?" She says, watching the screen of Weiss and Luna massacring anything that gets in their way.
Gourmet scowls. "My men deal in hunting monsters and breaking ponies. They aren't paid enough for alicorns."
She guffaws at this. "The world would be a very interesting place if one could simply pay enough to defeat an alicorn."
Huffing, Gourmet slams a nearby control panel to make it activate, matching up the locked doors he can see to the ones on the map.
"Everything has a price tag. Anyone who knows how the game is played could tell you that."
The grim half-smile conveyed across the screen fails to capture the sheer condescension of its owner.
"I'll take your word for it. Now finish locking those doors. I can't do it from here," she says, just as a green light flashes across her screen.
"Oh good, that's online, call your men back Randy, Weiss's paranoia does him few favors when..."
Her jaw drops, giving Randy a reason to look at her funny as he calls off his mercenaries, telling them to retreat.
"Oh my, he's as dumb as he is obsessive. He's even got contingencies made to deal with himself laying around," she claims, swiping through file after file.
The voice chuckles at the sight of one of them and laughs at the next one.
The last one, however, makes her eyes widen, and her smile becomes downright vicious.
"Oh I like this one," she finishes, rubbing her hooves together before she taps at the screen, losing interest in whatever it is Gourmet is doing.
Seeing how distracted she is, Gourmet takes this opportunity to roll his eyes slightly, trudging off to the next control panel with the intent of locking some more of the doors to hopefully slow them down that little additional bit.
"What do you mean 'Weiss is busy'?" Sunset Shimmer demands, as Tempest Shadow idly files her hoof, examining the polished appendage to see if it's up to her standards.
"I mean he's at an appointment. He's in a meeting," Tempest leans back in her chair, some unknown plush material dyed a deep red french plum color.
"He's busy."
Taking a deep, calming breath, Sunset Shimmer restrains herself as much as possible, the past several weeks having been an exercise in misery, sleeplessness, and frustration.
"Do you know when he'll be back?" Sunset Shimmer asks, trying to figure out when she'll finally be able to present the translated Grimoire Noir to Weiss for approval before she sends it off to be mass-produced.
Tempest shrugs. "Nope," she says, her lips popping lightly as she speaks.
Sunset takes yet another calming breath. "Please, it's really important-"
Tempest tunes out the rest of the borderline begging, instead considering what to do with some of her free time.
"I've been working really hard, all so-"
Weiss kept saying she should play Blitzball, but he never actually elaborated on what that is. Maybe Zecora would know?
"I've got the bucking Grimoire Noir right here, I spent all this time translating it, and I think I deserve a better answer of just where Weiss is!"
Oh dear. She better take care of this before continuing the rest of her internal monologue.
"Look, I don't really care why you need to know where he is. He's not here, and he won't be back for a short while. Now, if you'd like to leave the book with me? Fine. I'll give it to him when he gets back. Otherwise?
"Leave," Tempest finishes, finally convincing the frazzled unicorn to vacate the premises.
Tempest sighs to herself. 'It's like pulling teeth, trying to keep negative influences away from Weiss.'
'You think that crooked-horned pony would notice how much stress her interference costs him,' Tempest finishes, digging up a hoofball magazine from her desk to read through.
For the articles, of course.
Weiss groans as they walk into a wide-open room. "So they got that up and running."
Luna looks around at the spartan surroundings with confusion. "Got what up and running? What are we dealing with?"
Drumming his fingers on his shoulders with his arms crossed, Weiss responds plainly. "They're swapping the rooms around to disorient us, it's one of the countermeasures I devised in case of someone, either me or someone like me, attempted to infiltrate the Shadow Realm using knowledge of its layout and inner workings. By teleporting entire rooms, this can be done imperceptibly."
"I know where to go, ~ But I don't know where we are. ~ I will need your help." Weiss says, straining his mind to recall the layout of Wacky Workbench Zone.
Nodding, Luna's eyes flash with the power of her Wizard Eyes, allowing her to see through the stone walls.
"When we teleport, ~ I will need you to tell me. ~ I've memorized them," he claims, as hints of magic worm their way through his mind, enchanting his memories with firmness charms and recall charms.
Luna nods again, and they continue their trek through the halls of the ruins.
She sees a flash of light from outside the hall they're in. "We've been teleported."
Weiss smirks, turning down a side path.
"The one in control, ~ No idea what they're doing. ~ They haven't been trained," Weiss explains, knowing full well that a pony who knows how the Arcana Arachne is meant to be used could keep someone wandering blindly through Wacky Workbench for months without getting anywhere.
And whoever is operating it now is just teleporting them at random, exhausting the hotswap batteries buried in the rooms for only a minimal delay.
Eventually, however, they cross into a foyer, empty now, but once holding couches and shelves. The otherwise empty room lights up with an all-too-familiar face for Luna and a mostly unknown, but easily recognizable one for Weiss.
Gourmet, watching over his own screen, has an idea. Checking the security footage, sure enough, Weiss Noir just...
Keeps stopping to stare at various things. Gourmet knows that expression. That sort of expression is only made by a pony when they're trapped in their own memories.
Gourmet wouldn't be one of the richest ponies alive if he wasn't able to catch expressions like that. 'Expressions like that,' Gourmet thinks to himself.
'Expressions like that can be exploited.'
The only question is how. Black Angel said not to make contact with the Sage, but that batty fool doesn't have nearly the business acumen that any other member of Chapter Black does.
Looking around at the decaying ruins, it finally strikes Gourmet like a bolt of lightning
All he has to do is separate Weiss from Princess Luna and make his pitch. That chick's plan is clearly falling apart, and Gourmet has zero intention of being arrested like his mercenaries. But Weiss? He was able to fight Celestia to almost a standstill. If anyone can turn things around for Gourmet, it would be Weiss Noir.
He looks over the screens that he's able to access from the control panel, tapping his way into the Arcana Arachne arrays, if he can get Weiss into this room, he could teleport the room over here, giving him enough time to sell his idea to the Dark Lord before Luna can reach them.
Sure, it might hit Gourmet's savings, but he's almost certain this place could be fixed up with a bit of polish and spit.
It's downright genius, this little plan of his.
He returns to the security feed of that chick monologuing at the Princess and the Sage.
He'll wait until she's done, and then do an override to send his offer over the intercom system.
Ugh, she sure does like to ramble on, huh? This might take a while.
Yes indeed. Everything has a price, and for this so-called Sage, the price tag couldn't be clearer if it were sticker-ed to his flank.
As Rarity lifts up the final bolt of crystal cloth, she begins to weep, knowing that, unless the princess herself provides more of it, this would be the last bolt of this wondrous lost material that she will ever get the chance to use in her work.
"Oh, this truly is the worst, possible, thing!" she wails, hugging the cloth tight to her chest, as Pinkie comes by with a comforting, but weirded out expression.
"Uhh, sorry for asking but why are you hugging that pile of rock weeds?" Pinkie asks, setting the diet diet-cupcake in front of Rarity, who daintily devours it before her fountain of tears dry up in an instant.
"Oh, dear Pinkie! This isn't a weed, it's Crystal Cloth, only the rarest and sought after textile in existence! Lost to time! Lost to fashion! Princess Celestia herself delivered some to me as a most generous royal gift, but now that I've used it all for our gala dresses, this is all that's left of it, and I will nevermore have access to this most glorious of textiles!"
Pinkie coughs slightly. "Rarity, that's a rock weed. I swear it's a rock weed, look,"
She pulls out a rock from her mane, with a wig of glistening moss-like stuff hanging off of it.
"See? This stuff is all over Ma and Pa's farm, we used to have to clear it out every spring because it would grow over all the rocks!"
This doesn't comfort Rarity at all. "Are you telling me that I've made all our dresses from mere weeds!?" she wails, burying her face in the table.
Pinkie plops down next to her, rubbing the unicorn's back. "There there. Are you going to be alright?"
The unicorn shakes her head woefully from within the limbs she has imprisoned her weeping face within.
"...Do you want me to see if I can get some rock weeds from Ma and Pa's farm so you don't run out?"
The unicorn nods her head, equally woefully, while Pinkie tries not to giggle at how ridiculous this entire sequence is, and take the matter seriously.
"Oh yes indeed Luna, though you betrayed me, it really has been for the best. Now, in the Arcana Nox, I have grown so much further beyond anything you can imagine, no more begging and whinging for control, no more piggybacking off of you filthy ponies, just to exist!
"I hope you're ready to witness history, you foals, because this place will be my kingdom, with myself as it's ruler!
"The kingdom you promised me, Luna, the one you promised us all!
"Once I gain full control over the Arcana Nox, I will rule this land, under my new name!"
"Nightmare!"
By the end of her rambling, ranting speech, the half of her face displayed on the holographic screen is heaving with a smile filled with glee plastered on her face while her hooves are spread wide, gesturing madly.
Weiss's expression of vaguely bored disgust remains a staple after she's done monologuing at him and Princess Luna. Luna's expression, in contrast, is a rictus of horrified realization.
"Surrender now. Return command of the Shadow Realm's remaining systems to me, and you will not be harmed. I'll show you mercy. I swear to god I'll show you mercy."
Before Nightmare can respond, Weiss holds up a hand, continuing further.
"I want you to understand just what it is I'm offering, to understand just how sincere I am, and how much I want to spare you what comes next," Weiss explains.
"Because if you don't surrender, here and now-"
Weiss's head tilts slightly to the side.
"I will show you a nightmare."
Nightmare returns his apathetic speech with an equally placid smile of her own.
"Oh come now, Weiss. That's my job!" She giggles, shutting off the holographic screen as the door into the sitting room opens with the low grating of sliding stone.
From the darkness, paw pads thump against the ground as a titanic wolf begins plodding into the room, water dripping from it's left half, while it's right half occasionally emits puffs of black ash, twin heads weakly snarling at Luna and Weiss.
The Ice-Fire Wolf Ghost.
While Luna prepares to fight the monster, Weiss holds out his hand. "Luna, stay back. It's not safe.
"I'll handle this."
With that, Weiss steps forward, while Luna cautiously takes up the rear.
Suddenly, the Wolf pounces, pinning Weiss to the ground as its enchantments demand that it track down and eliminate all hostiles.
Weiss slowly raises a hand up to the magically spawned beast's side, trailing his palm down the monster's leg in a firm pet.
"Good doggy," Weiss says softly, the magical automaton growling as it's left side trickles out a firm spray of water, trying to activate combat techniques that it lacks the energy and systems to support within the Shadow Realm itself.
Unable to harm Weiss with its extinguished fire, or it's depleted water supply, the beast rears up into the air, a gigantic paw slamming back down onto Weiss's chest, as he flinches at the blow.
Reaching up again, he continues petting the enchanted mass of portals, whispering to it.
"You can go back to sleep, pup. There's no danger here anymore. There aren't any ponies in danger."
Slowly, but surely, the Ice-Fire Wolf Ghost's snarl shrinks, before returning to a blank expression as it's own magical weight begins bearing down on it.
By the time Weiss returns to his hooves, the mass of enchantments has already dispersed, the magical energy stored in it unable to continue fueling its existence, once it had been made aware that there was nothing for it to protect.
"I had hoped that wouldn't happen.
"I had really hoped that," he sighs.
"It seems it's systems were too strained without any maintenance to its core enchantments," Weiss says simply, brushing his chest off.
Suddenly, Nightmare's voice rings out. "What are you doing, you dolt?! Get off of that right now!"
To Luna's and Weiss's confusion, a voice suddenly sounds out, a gruff, old male voice. "Lord Weiss Noir, I have an offer to make you regarding the restoration of the Shadow Realm, get away from Princess Luna and I'll send you over."
Cutting an eye to Luna, who shakes her head, Weiss emits a burst of force that halts her briefly as he gallops into the next room, a flash of light teleporting it somewhere else, moments before Luna can reach the doorway to follow him.
She turns her gaze around, searching for Weiss's magical signature.
Weiss walks calmly into the room, his careful gaze scanning across the old security room's various panels, several of which seem to have been ripped up to access the magical crystals inside of them. An effective way to gain access to any system is to get access to its physical components, Weiss supposes.
In front of him, a large Earth Pony with a carefully coiffed beard and mane smiles.
"I'm glad you were willing to listen, Lord Weiss! You see, I'm with a group known as Chapter Black, we're quite large fans of your work! Really, we are!"
With a continued smile, Gourmet brushes off his fine leather suit and steps forward. "I'm known as Gourmet, but my real name is Randy Ropes. You see, I've just realized that we shouldn't be fighting at all, as much as that crazy pony Nightmare wants to scuffle with the two of you. I happen to be a Businesspony at heart, you know, and I've decided to put my best hoof forward on that front!
"Black Angel thought it was a poor course of action to contact you, directly, but having watched you so far, I can help it no longer."
Weiss doesn't respond immediately or react aside from his mane flickering rapidly, like a rattlesnake's tail shaking, which Gourmet takes as an opportunity to continue.
"I'm a very rich pony, with quite a lot of connections, even outside of Chapter Black, and the Shadow Realm? It could use a touchup. With my money and a few workers, we could get this place up and running and repopulated in a matter of weeks."
Weiss's flaming mane has begun sweeping wildly around, crackling like a grease fire while his expression remains carefully unaltered.
He holds out his foreleg, offering a hoofshake to the Sage of Darkness "We could work together, bring these old ruins back in working order, revive the Shadow Realm itself!"
A thin purple beam flickers from the pony's forehead, it stretches back to Weiss's outstretched finger as Gourmet drops to the floor, dead.
Weiss's face is blank as he lowers his arm, crossing it behind his back with the rest of them.
"Trouble my people's memory no more."
Luna bursts through the door, breathing heavily before she sees Weiss, standing perfectly still in front of the Earth Pony's body. As blood just starts to reach his hooves, he turns his head to face Luna.
"We're late, Princess. There weren't any ponies when I came through the door.
"Not a single soul."
quite chilling.
And so the nightmare gets her traps undone because she doesn't understand them, and Gourmet dies because he can't tell that the place wasn't half as valuable to Weiss as the ponies that used to live there.
Weiss... what did you do? Gourmet was alive and--at least seemingly--a pony when he walked into the room. Weiss doesn't lie, so what did he do to make that, at least technically, a true statement...
Also, just in case it hasn't been said enough, I absolutely ship Luna and Weiss. Even if Weiss annoys her to death sometimes, they always have fun together, and just think how much it would piss off Celestia if Weiss dated her sister. Everyone wins! Well, except Celestia, but she'll get over it. The annoyance of dealing with him is worth it for how much he helps out in the end.
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Yup, Luna is the only other pony (except for maybe Pinkie) who truly understands Weiss.
9759482
The intent I had was that Weiss was referring to how Gourmet was acting "inhuman" (inequine?), and as though he didn't have a soul.
It was a more metaphorical statement on how Gourmet's pursuit of profit led to him doing something that Weiss considered Vile, to the point of soullessness.
So like
It's also a reference.
9759486
Ahhh, I see. I suppose that does still make it a technically true statement, as long as you're seeing the world from Weiss's perspective. A bit of a stretch, but I'll allow it.
9759485
I think Tempest does a good job of it as well, probably second only to Luna and Celestia. There are a couple times where she hints at really getting him as a person, especially his obsessive hatred. I'm honestly glad Gilda stopped Trixie from going with him back near the beginning. Tempest is a much better second in command for Weiss. And just think how amazing she'll look if she figures out the whole longma transformation at some point?
9759497
I don't think Celestia knows Weiss as well as she thinks she does (and Weiss is just fine with that); I'd definitely rank her under Luna *and* Pinkie (although Pinkie cheats with her 4th-wall-breaking abilities), And the only reason I'd rank her *above* Tempest is just how long she's known him (over a 1000 years) as opposed to a few months; if we were to rate them as a sort of "time spent/how well they know him" ratio, Tempest would definitely outrank Celestia.
rockweed ha I wonder if rariety shall be inspired to look into a few alternate fabrics just like the ignored rockweed? I remember this one alternative material where kombucha SCOBY was turned into leather im sure in a magical world there shall be other ignored material.
Celestia not putting up with the zebra's greedy antics I bet zecora only crime to them was that she was the daughter to the one they couldn't punish thus hurting their pride and she was the only way to satisfy there grudge I kind of hope a few good zebra want to live around cause of that pot and forest later and maybe with the forest deer.
poor greedy pony didn't stand a chance.
I feel sorry for nightmare having to exist in others usually greedy, ego-filled or weak people to survive and only dream of power and freedom in someone body to properly interact with the world, in the end to scratch that longing, has got to be a maddening existence
par sunset sounds lost like does she want a friend in Weiss or a tutor mentor?
ooo ref to blitzball? tempest would rock that sport it would sweep the world! did Weiss make one like final fantasy style?
Beautiful.
I'm loving Tempest in this. Her chemistry with Weiss is fun to watch. Especially how she looks after him.
RIP pone that had a nickname, that in conjunction with his position in an evil organisation, implied canibalistic tendencies.
9759486
Okay, so if he saw him as being without a soul, what did he do to the pony? Because I'll be honest, that looked pretty soul-stealey to me.
This is the first story that i've read in awhile, that takes place in "semi-canon" mlp in which an individual, soulless monster or no, is outright killed.
Ok, I'm really confused, what is going on? Why did Weiss suddenly switch to talking in Haiku, doesn't he just do that with Zekora? I'm also confused as to why Weiss immediately just murdered that guy. I'm genuinely unsure as to his motivation there, like why was the offer percieved as a murder worthy offensive, to the point that he pretty much implied you had to be soulless to offer it? Like sure, I can see it being disrespectful or whatever, but that was Weiss's first interaction with this person, he has no idea who he is right?
Why was there a random cutaway to Rarity talking to Pinkie about dress materials? And to Celestia as well?
I don't know when I lost track of the plot here, I'm not even sure why Luna's totally fine with hanging out with Weiss(What happened to the awkwardness she felt about talking to him?) now, or why they're even in the Shadow Realm. There's so much cutting around, and every other chapter being what's essentially an entirely different story... could someone give me a recap or something?
9759566
I wonder why graphene started growing as a weed in the past fifteen hundred years.
9759846
Looks like a pretty bog standard murder spell to me. And you have to love using it for fun or else you'll be murdered.
9759916
Wordplay enhances Zebra Magic, which Weiss used to remember the layout of the Shadow Realm. It's been established previously that wordplay helps magic along.
Weiss knew that someone was rooting around in the Shadow Realm, defiling what for all purposes had been the collective Gravesite of everyone Weiss knew and loved.
He also outed himself as being a member of Chapter Black, an organization that had been censoring Weiss's book as stated in another chapter, polluting and corrupting the legacy Weiss had left behind.
They then approached Weiss directly, with the goal of trying to convince him to betray Luna so this individual could use their money to "Restore" the Shadow Realm, which was the final straw.
Weiss was already clearly upset over being forced to fight Shadow Realm defenses that, in all likelihood, he himself built.
Filler between scenes to give context on what is happening while Weiss and Luna are doing this, and fill in the foundations of future chapters. I do this often.
In "Self-Rightiousless", Luna overcame her fear of talking to Weiss in order to support her sister. After that, it is explained that this helped her overcome her isolation and guilt to a larger degree.
Luna claimed in a previous chapter that she sensed Nightmares coming from the Shadow Realm. Weiss has been trying to contact the Arcana Nox, seemingly daily, for months with no success. They both had a goal to figure out what was going on and put a stop to it.
That's been a thing since the beginning. A lot of scenes are intended to give context to previous chapters, or foreshadow future ones.
Does this help at all?
9759846
He shot them through the head with a laser beam. It's not that complex of a concept.
9759853
Don't get used to it. This is actually the only planned death I have for the entire fic. I find character deaths to be a cop-out unless used extraordinarily sparingly.
9760008
Yeah that helped a lot. Just hard for me to keep track of everything I guess. A lot of what you're describing is like, one sentence or two several chapters ago. You didn't really convey Luna overcoming her isolation and guilt very well. Which makes sense considering how she's a somewhat minor character(comparatively to others who've gotten more screentime), but if you're gonna have her and Weiss interacting a lot you need to convey a shift in character, especially considering how it seemingly(note, I say seemingly) contradicts what I think was her first interaction in the story(the "present" story, you could've introduced her earlier in the past, but they're all effectively different characters considering the vast difference in time and experience).
Like, the Zebra thing, I get that it makes sense in the context of the story that he'd do that, but that was conveyed to the audience in a not very memorable manner. What was it, an offhand comment several chapters ago that you talked about it? I don't want to tell you how to write your story, but it's... not being communicated to the audience in the most effective manner.
Like, everything makes perfect sense in the context of the world itself as far as I can tell, but you're kinda... I dunno forgetting the audience here. I don't want to say you should talk down to us, but like, we can't remember everything as well as you can. I'm certain it makes perfect sense in your head but it's like... You doing this like a middle school Math teacher in this particular circumstance. Like, it all makes perfect sense to you because you have every rule memorized, and you do tell us the rules, but you don't seem to be emphasizing what's the most important rule/how often we'll be using it. Because like it or not, we're probably going to forget rules that we don't seem to use a lot, and having a problem that depends on that rule in a pop quiz is just dirty. You get what I mean? I might just be projecting as no one else here's really confused, but I hope you don't dismiss everything I say out of hand.
I also get you using filler to foreshadow but it was just jarring here and ruined the pacing in this particular circumstance. You do it a bit, and I understand that it has its purpose in other parts, but here it was just not well implemented. Here it ruined the tone, any tension was cut short before reaching a climax. You can't just completely shift tones, setting, everything, then go right back as if nothing happened, it's not a good way to tell a story.
9760100
I did some checking in the previous chapters, and there's an entire scene of Luna and Weiss interacting, and both of them commenting on how the gap between them had been shrinking.
In Black Book Club as well, there's the Scene of Luna and Celestia confronting Weiss, in which she speaks to him very plainly, lacking her previous hesitance.
I'm sorry to say, I don't think that qualifies as "A sentence or two".
Multiple scenes have had Weiss using rhyme and wordplay as part of Zebra Magic, from naming ingredients with puns, to the long-winded rhymes that were used to create the Star Rod of Dreams and the Star Rod of Wishes.
It's been communicated repeatedly in the chapters, and one Weiss Report went into more than enough detail on it.
So it was described a few chapters ago. And then again a few chapters before that, ect.
My philosophy for this fic has always been to quarantine exposition, and minimize repetition of "The rules". I felt that, after the first time something is properly introduced, it shouldn't be re-introduced whenever it makes another appearance.
I'm certainly going to take your advice to heart, but at some point, I have to decide whether to pack scenes with even more, redundant exposition, or to not do so, and, in almost every case, unless something new is being introduced to an old formula, I'm going to opt to minimize the amount of rehashing that's done.
I felt that 4K+ Words of "Weiss and Luna walk around beating up things while foreshadowing things that have technically already happened" would quickly turn tedious without something to break up the scenes.
I could certainly REPLACE those scenes, but if nothing else, I'd like to hear someone else weigh in on it before I make any edits to the chapter, since I absolutely feel like the entire chapter's focus being on Luna and Weiss gallivanting around the Shadow Realm with NOTHING else is going to start bleeding tension as it dries up.
Though, again, I'd be willing to edit those scenes, if this isn't just one person saying so.
In general, I try to avoid having too many scenes in a row which actually include Weiss in them.
*EDIT
Ugh. This is stressing me out.
9760136
For what it's worth I think you've been doing a fine job. I've had no problems keeping pace.
9759938
No, It's kind of sad. Even if they do that as a joke in the series, we see his abandonment issues on full display several times. Honestly spike wielding the element of loyalty when they fought discord should have made it stronger considering he goes through borderline abuse for those ponies, and yet still stays with them.
Actually, that is a fascinating, fic idea. The ponies each lose their elements when they prove themselves to be unworthy in the show, and spike slowly makes a new group becouse the mane cast are terrible at there elements. Don't get me wrong; I know why the writers kept making those "Element" goes against what they represent episodes, but RD went against the main group way too many times to be called loyalty especially when someone who never faltered was there like spike.
9760030
An understandable and respectable choice
Hope we can get more scenes of Weiss being ruthless :)
9764759
:)
The picture made me laugh. The pose and expression are amusing, but the flaming eyebrows are what really sold it for me
I don’t get wiess’s reaction to the offer.
9824471
The offer to renew and repopulate the shadow realm is a mockery to the ponies that used to inhabit it. To Weiss, I suspect, it's a sacred place and memory, and trying to change that to anything but it's former state, does not a happy Weiss make.
That is assuming they aren't just lies mean to trick anyone who hacks into his files
Well of course, I mean what else is there
Maybe not, but he clearly understands that getting into contact with Weiss is a dangerous idea
It's still a beautiful weed
No, you are fans of a...misinterpretation, an image that you yourselves have created
Yeah see Randy, to Weiss, the Shadow Relm was it's people not the location
DANG. She dun moved an entire EQUATOR.
Yeah, I can't exactly fault Weiss for killing that stallion.
10177709
I mean, she technically does that every day.
10177709
Assuming the world is geocentric, then the only thing that determines the equator is the sun's average center of orbit, which Celestia controls.