//------------------------------//
// 30- Honeymoon: Saddle Arabia 
// Story: The Life of a Non-Brony 
// by BronyWriter 
//------------------------------//

The hot, dry air of Saddle Arabia washes over the two of us as we head outside, making us flinch for a moment before steadying ourselves and walking down the steps of the palace. I have to admit: maybe it's just my training kicking in, but I started to feel nervous as we walked towards the market. I mean, it's my duty as Cheerilee's husband to protect her, and there were a lot of strange beings around, and I didn't even have Reginald with me, and...

I look down at Cheerilee who is happily humming some tune I can't place. She's not worried. She's with me, and that's all that matters. A smile slides onto my face and I push thoughts of anything bad happening out of my mind.

We begin following the directions that Kathyrine gave us, taking our time to enjoy the sights of Saddle Arabia. We can already hear the market, but we have all day for that. Even in the distance, we can see that the market is full of beings of all different species. I'll still wager that I'm the only human there, though. Wouldn't that be a honeymoon surprise?

We enter the market, and I gotta say, the noise makes a guy not able to hear his thoughts. Just the chatter of all of the various beings stall shopping and haggling for everything the vendors sold. Cheerilee and I push our way through the crowd, trying to see if we could make it to any stalls just to see what was available.

Okay, I have to admit: I didn't expect it to be this crowded. I mean, I knew it would be packed, but I didn't think that we'd have to push through every being on the planet just to see a few stalls. It kind of makes me think that spots in the market must be desired just by virtue of the profits you'd possibly make every day. I make a note to ask Mesud about it later.

Still, though, I'm not a fan of it. It'd be too easy to get separated from Cheerilee in the crowd. I can take care of myself easily enough, but I'm not so sure about her. I feel a hoof on my back, and I look down to see Cheerilee right behind me, pushing through the crowd with the best of them. We smile at each other and cut through the crowd to the nearest stall.

An elderly Saddle Arabian is manning it. He seems to be selling some kind of bead necklaces. He flashes us his best "used car salesman" face as we approach.

"Good afternoon to the mister and missus," he says in a thick Saddle Arabian accent. He grabs one of the necklaces off of a rack and drapes it over a foreleg like it's a Rolex. "Very good price for you today. Thirty bits or forty-five dinars. Can't take gryphs, I'm afraid. Economy still no good after new government. Useless. Bits and dinars still fine."

I smirk and lean in to whisper in Cheerilee's ear. "Didn't know I destroyed Griffonia's economy. My bad, I guess."

Cheerilee hides her laugh behind a hoof. "It does seem like the sort of thing you'd do, doesn't it?"

"Not intentionally!" I insist.

"Will the happy couple buy, or are they just looking?"

"Looking for now," I say, tapping my chin thoughtfully. "We might come back. You know of any good places to eat in the meantime?"

The vendor snorts and waves his hoof. "Hungry? Doubtful. Young ponies in love are very seldom hungry. Doubt you're much different. Food is fleeting, but something like this..." He runs a hoof over one of his necklaces. "These can be memories that last a lifetime!"

"We'll keep that in mind," I say, tilting my head in a nod. "Good day, sir."

As we push our way through the crowd, Cheerilee looks back at the stand with a bit of disappointment. "He really did seem insistent, TD. I almost feel bad for not buying from him."

I shrug. "Eh, if we spend our bits that way, we would end up buying from every single vendor here. Of course let me know if you see something you want, and we'll get it no hesitation." I raise my eyebrow. "So... did you want one of those?"

Cheerilee shakes her head. "Well, no, not really."

"Good, then let's keep looking around then, shall we? I don't know about you, but I think he was wrong: young ponies in love are very frequently hungry."

"Especially after spending all night... burning calories," Cheerilee says with a sultry smile. "Maybe we should find something here to thank Discord for that."

I snort and chuckle. "You know, I never thought I'd hear you say that, Cheers."

"You and me both."

As we continue walking around, looking at the stalls and not buying anything, I have to admit that I'm not completely enjoying the market. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's completely epic and everything, but I'm not a guy who really enjoys being in large crowds like this. I can sense that Cheerilee is feeling much the same way as I lead her down an empty alleyway just so we can have a moment to ourselves.

"Dang, that place is crowded. If you want to keep going we can, but it's draining me," I say.

"Me too," Cheerilee admits. "I think it was a good place to start, but an ultimate dud, in my opinion."

I shrug. "Well, not everything about Saddle Arabia can be awesome, I guess. We can spend a little more time looking around here to see if there's something that catches our eye but if not, I think the nearby river does boat rides, or something."

Cheerilee smiles and nods. "I think that's worth at least looking into, after we find something to eat, of course."

"Of course," I say, moving closer to the wall of the alley when I notice a group of about four Saddle Arabians coming our way. "I think I saw some kind of food district between here and the palace, so we just have to go through that crowd again to get to it."

Wait... okay, those Saddle Arabians are getting kind of close. In a "hey, there's plenty of room in the alley, so you don't need to get this close" kind of way. I move closer to Cheerilee, hoping that I'm imagining things. Cheerilee notices too, and her smile starts fading.

Like I said: really hoping I'm just being paranoid.

But I'm not.

The four of them stop in front of us, blocking our way out of the alley. One of them even pulls out a knife.

Well darn.

"Bits and nopony gets hurt," the one closest to us says in a raspy voice. "Rings, too." Cheerilee whimpers and moves closer to me.

Hearing my wife whimper in fear, yeah, that doesn't really put me in a good mood. Ever. I ball my fist and begin looking around the alley for something to defend ourselves with.

"Bits and rings? Well, sir, I'm afraid that we don't run a charity here. What kind of rings are you even talking about? I think I saw a bell tower not far from here." My eyes land on a discarded broom. Bingo. "If the bell is chipping, you can get bits of that, and ring it. You win and nobody gets hurt, just like you said."

The Saddle Arabians all chuckle as I nudge Cheerilee in the direction of the broom. It's not far, and they're not in the way of it.

"We got a comedian here," says another mugger. "You some sort of clown thing? Is that what you are? Me and the boys here have been taking bets."

"No, no, I'm no clown," I say, reaching down and taking the broom. To my delight, it's one of those where the handle can unscrew from the actual broom part. I begin unscrewing the broom, putting myself between the muggers and Cheerilee. "Why? Do I look like a clown?"

"Don't know what you look like," says the third mugger. "You bleed like everything else, though, right? Give us what we want and you don't have to bleed."

"I actually don't bleed, thank you for asking," I reply, tossing the broom aside and keeping the handle. It's not Reginald, but it should do. Cheerilee is glancing between the attackers and me, her look of fear slowly being replaced by one of uneasy interest. "You see, I'm a sort of ancient spirit. I've been here longer than you, and I'll be here long after you're gone. My specialty is fighting."

The group laughs again and draws closer. "Right," says the first one again, motioning for his friend with the knife to come closer. "Well, if you don't get it, you don't get it. We can just clean the blood off of whatever we take."

"So you're officially going to attack us, is that it?"

The Saddle Arabian grins and nods.

Busted.

Before anyone can do anything, I take advantage of the fact that they're all pretty close together and lunge forward. I haven't lost too much speed or power in my down years back in Ponyville, so when I swing my makeshift weapon at the first mugger, he doesn't even have time to react before he's falling to the ground, completely unconscious. Before the other three even know what's going on, I've already hit the second mugger in the head twice with the broom handle. Were I wielding Reginald, that might have killed him. As is, he just falls down unconscious.

Well, good things can't last forever, so the remaining two ditzes eventually figure out that I'm fighting back. Rather than run away like smart beings, the one with the knife clumsily lunges for me. Given that my weapon has more reach than his, it's easy to step back a bit and hit him until he's down. I don't even give the fourth one a moment to start running before I hit him right underneath the jaw, taking him out of the fight as well.

All told, the whole thing takes probably about five to ten seconds.

Content that none of them will be trying to attack me anytime soon, I turn back to Cheerilee with a small smirk and a shrug.

"Well, they wanted to hurt you, and I'm not going to give bozos like them our money, and especially not our rings."

Cheerilee, for her part, keeps alternating wide-eyed looks between myself and the downed would-be muggers. I mean, I know that she knows that I'm capable of holding my own. On top of her hearing about it from me, she read the book about it that Twilight gave me, but I'm sure that reading about it and seeing it are very different things.

"TD..." Cheerilee blinks owlishly. "That was very... brave a-and impressive, I suppose."

I frown and put the broom handle down. "Er... it didn't freak you out, did it? Seeing me do that? They scared you, Cheerilee. They wanted to hurt you. I'm not going to let anything even think about something like that."

"I'm not really sure, TD." She shakes her head. "Not about you fighting back, that's fine because you're right: they wanted to hurt us, but seeing you do something like from your adventure firsthoof is a little..." She blinks again. "Different."

I grimace and rub the back of my neck. "Bad different?" I look down to the entrance of the alleyway and see some other Saddle Arabians muttering among themselves at the sight before them. I give them a slight shrug before turning back to my wife.

"No, I don't think so," she says. "You didn't kill them, and you only did it as a last resort to protect me." She rubs the back of her neck and shakes her head. "But I never thought I'd see you do something from your adventure."

I would respond, but a pair of Saddle Arabian soldiers are coming down the alleyway, already grimacing at the sight before them. Or maybe that's the typical "soldier look."

"Greetings, human," says the one on the right. "It seems Sultan Mesud was right: you can't help but get into trouble."

I roll my eyes at that. "Well, trouble usually finds me. I tend not to go looking for it, you know? Especially not on our honeymoon."

"Right." The guard on the right sighs and pulls out a pair of hoofcuffs, which he secures on the forelegs of one of the unconscious muggers. His fellow does the same. "We'll deal with this, okay? You go back to your honeymoon."

I kick the broom aside and beckon Cheerilee onward. "With pleasure."


*  *  *  *


Once the excitement wears off, the two of us go get some lunch. We find a nice little corner cafe where Cheerilee and I share a relatively quiet meal. I can tell that she's still chewing over the events in the alley at the same time she's chewing over her food. But, as the meal goes on, she does open up a little more, and I start seeing that smile of hers I like so much. By the end, she's even laughing at some of the dumb jokes I'm telling. Although, every time I glance down the street, I see two Saddle Arabian soldiers nearby, not so subtly watching us. Eh, if I can avoid having my wife being scared again, I'll take it.

After lunch, we hit that boat ride place that I brought up earlier. It's actually kind of nice to just spend time together in peace and quiet, just taking in the sights of Saddle Arabia. I am kind of surprised that I'm not getting more looks from the population, but my guess is that they don't mind me because my bits are just as real as the next pony's. And yes, Saddle Arabian money is also called bits. Kind of like how both America and Australia call their currency dollars, I suppose.

But yeah, the boat ride. It's peaceful. It's far less noisy compared to the market, but not out of the way. We can still see the goings on of the nation around us as Cheerilee leans against me with my arm around her shoulders. The pegasus pony rowing the boat is humming some sort of calming tune as he rows, and I'll bet that if I heard the lyrics to the song, it'd be about love.

That actually ends up taking a good four hours, so once we finish, we head on over to the same cafe for dinner and dessert. We would choose a different one but, well this one has steak in it.

After that, we walk around Saddle Arabia, enjoying the beauty of the place as the sun goes down and the fireflies come out. If we'd timed it right with the boat ride, it'd probably be the most romantic thing ever. Then again it was probably closed at this point.

But the day does end, and we find ourselves walking back to our room in the palace. We don't see either Mesud or Kathyrine as we go into the palace, but I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to talk to them later.

I have to say, I haven't been this tired since Tycho made me run laps around an entire city. We still have thirteen more days of this to go.

Excellent.

I let Cheerilee shower first. After finishing it up myself, I brush my teeth and walk over to our bed, where Cheerilee is already laying under the covers, with only her head showing. I smile fondly at her and sit on the opposite side.

"Did you have fun today, Cheers?"

She smiles and nods. "I did, other than..." Her ears flatten. "That part."

My own smile fades, and I lean back in bed. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I mean, it was stupid of me to lead us down that alleyway. I'll be more careful next time we need to get away from the crowd, okay?"

"Well, I suppose that can't hurt, but if our new bodyguards are any indication, we won't need to bother with being extra careful."

I chuckle and shake my head. "So you saw them too, huh? Not very inconspicuous, were they?"

"Not in the slightest." Cheerilee leans her head against my arm and lovingly nuzzles it. "But that aside, I will say that one good thing came out of what happened today. I got a live demonstration of the fact that I have a husband who will protect me no matter what. That's the kind of thing that makes a mare feel good, you know?"

I smile down at her and run my hands through her mane. "I'm glad."

"But, you know what else makes a mare feel good?" Cheerilee's smile turns seductive, and she pulls her forelegs out from underneath the covers, revealing that she's wearing, of all things, socks. She gives me a look not unlike one a tiger would give to a deer it just caught. Seems I can't get out of this one. Good.

I smile and take the bracelet off of the bedside table. I hang it on her muzzle, something that causes her to roll her eyes.

"Funny joke, TD, but..." She grins and nudges it in my direction. "Your turn."


*  *  *  *


And so our honeymoon continues much as it did the first day, excluding the attempted mugging and fighting for Cheerilee's honor thing. We just spend two weeks experiencing Saddle Arabia in all of its glory.

And each other.

Somehow the days drag on, much to our liking, but by the end of our trip, it feels like it's just been a few hours. Unfortunately, the day does come when our honeymoon ends. I can't really describe what it feels like when that happens. On one hand, it's too bad that our fun trip together has ended, but on the other hand... well, it's not like we're going to go to our respective homes once we arrive in Ponyville. We get to spend the rest of our lives together. She's not going to her house and me to mine. We're going to our house. And you know? It's one of the best realizations that I've ever had.

In a rather cool move, both Mesud and Kathyrine see us off. I'm kind of surprised that Mesud would take a break from his duties just for that.

"Well, TD, I hope you enjoyed your time in my country," he says, tilting his head in a little bow. "You are always welcome, and you always have a place to stay should you find yourselves in Saddle Arabia once more."

"I really appreciate that," I say, returning his little bow. "After these past few weeks, I certainly wouldn't say no."

"If nothing else we need to fight again," Kathyrine says with a nod. "For real this time, without interference."

Cheerilee glares at her, but I smile and nod. "Absolutely. We'll have to see just how soft you've gone."

"Right back at ya."

The train horn blows, and ponies are going up and down the platform, letting people know that the train will be departing shortly. I reach my hand out for some handshakes.

"It's been a delight," I say. "Until next time, yes?"

"Absolutely, TD," Mesud says. "Do say hello to Celestia for me when you see her next, will you?"

"Will do."

The train horn blows again signaling that, no really, it's time to go. We step into the private car that Mesud has gotten for us just as the train begins starting up. We wave out the window at our gracious hosts, who wave back. Well, Mesud waves back. Kathyrine punches her palm with her other talons before giving me the "I'm watching you" motion. I return it before walking away from the window and laying down on the bed next to my wife.

"TD, that was simply magical," Cheerilee says, draping a foreleg over my chest. "I really think that this is going to work out."

"Agreed," I say. "This honeymoon has shown me that the next several decades of our life are going to be pretty awesome."

"I love you, TD," Cheerilee says, resting her head in my lap. "You really are the best husband a mare could ask for."

"I do try," I say with a chuckle. "Love you too, Cheers."


*  *  *  *


Our train pulls into Ponyville Station several hours later. I collect our suitcases and lead Cheerilee off of the train. Gotta say, I'd rather gotten used to the humidity of Saddle Arabia. Even though it's summer, Ponyville feels a little chilly without so much moisture in the air. It's not bad, though.

"So, do you want to go drop our stuff off at Manderley before picking up Oswald, or after?"

"Let's go before," Cheerilee says. "That way we're not dragging our stuff through all of Ponyville."

"Makes sense to me."

As we walk down the street toward our house, we are greeted by several of the townsponies, who all smile and wave at us. As we're about halfway home, we run into Applejack, who's packing up her cart for the day.

"Well howdy do there, you two," she says, putting a nearly empty bucket of apples in her cart. "You have a good time?"

"Come on, Applejack, you know they did," Cloud Kicker says as she flies overhead. Something about the way she says it makes me pause for a moment before responding.

"Er... what did she mean by that?"

To my horror, Applejack sighs and facehoofs. "Well, the day after y'all left, we were all just kinda doin' our own thing. Like usual. Ah was sellin' mah apples with Apple Bloom, and the market was pretty busy, if Ah recall. Then... Discord showed up."

Oh no.

"He showed up wearin' a shirt with your faces on it, bouncin' up and down in the middle of the air and twirlin' sparklers around. He was shoutin'..." Applejack taps her jaw in thought. "Ah think he was sayin' 'all hail the happy couple.' Givin' the randomness of it, it wasn't too hard to put two and two together. Especially when he 'let it slip' what his weddin' present to you two was."

That. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

"DISCORD!" Cheerilee and I shout at the same time.