Anon twirled a blade of grass in his fingers as he thought back to the encounter. Perhaps he was a bit hasty storming off like that. True, he was extremely upset over the broken phone, and it was downright insulting for the pony to rub it in like that, but he had to keep in mind that for the moment, the ponies were his only lead to figuring out what had happened to him. He had to deal with them if he wanted to ever get back home, and so he had to tolerate their behavior, however rude, inconsiderate or degrading it was.
He also had been woefully underprepared for his self-imposed task of getting answers. Namely, he had failed to even ask the questions. Language barrier or not, the ponies were capable of communication, at least between themselves and whatever that lizard creature was. And if they could communicate, they could answer Anon’s questions – he just had to come up with a proper communication strategy first.
What if he started with the basics? Back in school, on the first lesson of Spanish the teacher had them introduce themselves in both English and Spanish. What if he tried something similar with the pony? He would introduce himself, then ask for her name, accompanying it all with exaggerated hand gestures. She wasn’t a human, but maybe she’d understand? Some of her gestures and actions had been surprisingly human-like. It would’ve helped if she had actual hands though, and perhaps it would've been wiser to try and approach the lizard creature instead as it had similar appendages, but after the last encounter Anon still felt a little queasy about the creature, so he wasn’t about to approach it while he had a better alternative.
What else could he try? Usually when he went to a place where people didn’t speak English, he’d just whip out his phone, type the phrase into the translator and have it speak out loud the translated sentence. With the phone gone for good, that was no longer an option. Could he try mimicking her sounds? It was unlikely to work, as he would have no idea what he would be saying, but it was worth a try. Maybe the mare would help him there, once she understood what he was trying to do.
Anything more complex would probably have to wait. Baby steps, after all. First they’d introduce themselves, then they’d figure out most necessary words and phrases like “food” or “water” or “I want to eat”, and then it’d be clear how to proceed from there. Overall, not the greatest plan, but better then nothing.
Anon threw away the crumpled blade of grass he’s been holding, rubbed his fingers together to get rid of the green stains and got up from the grass. Time for attempt number two.
He found the mare right where he had left her – in the basement. This time, she was standing near the desk and peering intently at a glass flask that was filled by two thirds with some yellow solution. Her ear twitched as Anon closed the door behind himself, but she didn’t react otherwise as he approached and stopped beside her.
This close, Anon could make out a lot of details regarding the knick-knacks cluttering the desk. What he thought before as bits of colorful rocks were actually semi-transparent crystals. They ranged from tiny shards barely an inch long to fist-sized clusters, and rather unexpectedly each and every one had unnaturally deep, even coloring and no usual imperfections such as chips or fractures. Overall, they had an artificial look to them, like something you would see as a reward in mobile game rather than from behind a glass pane in a geology exhibit.
But more startlingly, the desk was covered in papers that actually had something written on them. Despite the fact Anon had seen the mare use magic to levitate and move quills over papers, he didn’t realize until that very moment that she had been actually writing with them. It also dawned on him that the entire house was filled with books, so of course the ponies were capable of writing, and by extension reading, and it was silly to consider otherwise since they’ve built themselves such an advanced civilization.
On one sheet, he could spot a paragraph of text and a table, and there was what looked like a flowchart on another, and a third one had a few schematics full of hexagons that looked suspiciously like structural formulas of organic molecules. Unfortunately, the writing itself was completely alien to him. It resembled Arabic script, but blocky and with less dots, and as much as Anon stared he couldn’t recall seeing a language quite like that before.
It was then that the mare turned away from the flask she’s been watching and glanced at the desk. A quill suddenly rose into the air, dipped itself into an inkwell, then flew to the papers and touched down at the one that had a table on it. It left a short squiggle in a blank cell, then hopped back into the air, flew back to the same spot it started from and laid down to rest, as if it had never moved. Done with the task, the mare looked at Anon.
Put on the spot, Anon fumbled for a second before collecting his wits and raising his right hand. It was a bit late for introductions, come to think of it, but better late than never.
“Hello. I am Anonymous.”
He tapped his chest with his index finger for emphasis. The gesture captured the mare’s attention for some reason, and she switched to watch his hand instead and kept track of it as he extended his arm and pointed at her chest.
“What is your name?”
The pony blinked, then looked up at his face. An awkward silence ensued. Anon decided to try again. He kneeled so they would be at the eye level, moved his hand back, tapped his chest with his finger, said “Anonymous” and pointed at her. The pony blinked again, glanced between his face and his hand, then tilted her head, but nothing else. Well, third time’s the charm, right?
Anon once again tapped himself on the chest, said “Anonymous”, extended his arm and pointed closely at the mare, nearly touching her chest fluff.
The mare stood still for a second, looking down at his hand, then slowly lowered her muzzle and sniffed at it in curiosity. Then, faster than Anon could react, her tongue darted out and took an experimental lick.
The sudden feeling of warmth and wetness made Anon yank his hand back with a yelp, but he quickly caught up with what had happened and pursed his lips in annoyance. He wiped the tiny damp spot off on his pants, and resolved to try again. Fourth time the charm, then?
He brought his hand up and tapped himself on the chest, spelled out “A-no-ny-mous”, then slowly moved it towards the mare and pointed at her chest, which he mimed tapping, and asked, “What. Is. Your. Name?”
The mare watched him go over the ritual, keeping an eye on his hand, and once he was done, simply blinked and looked back at him. Anon waited with baited breath. A second passed, then another, then the mare replied.
Snort. Nicker, snort.
Anon almost shouted with joy. He had actual progress there! It wasn’t much, but she just told him her name, which is more than he had before! Now he would only have to show her he understood.
Unable to contain his smile, Anon brought his hand back, vigorously tapped his chest, said “Anonymous”, pointed at the mare and attempted his best to repeat the sounds.
“Frrr. Huh-huh-huh-huh. Frrr.”
The mare’s muzzle suddenly scrunched up. He couldn’t have butchered it that hard, could he? Anon tried again.
“Frrrr. Huh-huh-huh-huh. Frr.”
The scrunch intensified. Alarmed, Anon made another attempt, this time taking a deeper breath and trying to make the nicker part sound more guttural.
“Frrr. Huph-huph-huph-huph. Frr.”
The mare’s face relaxed. She let out a nicker, then tilted her head in apparent curiosity and silently stared at Anon. Feeling somewhat encouraged, Anon pointed at the mare once again and repeated his latest attempt.
“Frrr. Huph-huph-huph-huph. Frr.”
She gave no reaction. She must’ve considered it good enough, Anon thought, so he opted to move on and try to have her repeat his name in turn. He brought his hand back, tapped his own chest, and waited.
Nothing happened. Anon tried again. He pointed at the mare, repeated the sounds that made up her name, then pointed back at himself, and spelled out “Anonymous”. Then he again pointed at the mare, pronounced her name, pointed at himself and silently waited. It felt like a full minute before the mare straightened her neck and replied.
Snort. Nicker, snort.
Anon signed in exasperation.
“No, not your name. My name. It’s Anonymous. A-no-ny-mous. Repeat after me: Uh. No. Neee. Mos.”
He accentuated each syllable with a tap on his chest, while looking the mare deep in the eyes and wishing with all his might to impart the meaning across the language barrier and right into her brain.
Alas, his telepathy skills failed him. The mare let out a snort, turned around and walked away, leaving the human pointing at himself in solitude and wondering what went wrong in the conversation and when.
The pony didn’t walk for too far though. Stopping near the metal table that held various machines and equipment, she reared up on her hind legs and put her front legs on the table top. Then she reached with her hoof towards an apparatus that resembled a coffee machine, pushed on a small handle at the side, and with a soft click the bottom part of the machine opened up, revealing a small compartment. The mare then pushed herself off of the table and with a soft double clop landed on the floor, then turned back and trotted to Anon. As she approached, a familiar rectangular object emerged from the aforementioned compartment and trailed through the air after the mare. Anon cringed.
The pony stopped in front of him, letting the smartphone hover halfway between the two, looked him in the eyes and let out a nicker. As if sensing what was expected of him, Anon grabbed the smartphone out of the air. There had been a slight resistance which had momentarily disappeared, and he was left with the device in his hand. Thinking quickly, he brought it up and pointed at it with his free hand.
“Smartphone. Smart. Phone.”
She didn’t seem to be impressed. He shook the thing for the good measure, and that caused a reaction. The mare’s attention snapped at the device, her entire body stock still, her eyes staring unblinkingly and her ears standing straight and pointed forward. Surprised by the change, Anon almost missed how the mare took a cautious step forward without breaking her pose. He frowned.
“Don’t get your hopes up, it’s broken now.”
He tried to feel up for the power button to demonstrate, but the plastic had been warped so badly he couldn’t even tell on which side the button was supposed to be. Still, she didn’t seem to react to his words, so Anon tried again.
“It’s broken. Fried. Dead. It won’t work anymore.”
To back up his words with some action, Anon let go of the smartphone. It fell down a few inches, then froze in mid-air. At the same time, the mare scrunched her muzzle. The smartphone reversed its movement, floated back up to his hand and nestled itself in his palm. Startled, Anon grasped the device and felt the same weak resistance for a split second before it disappeared. He stared owlishly at his hand, then it clicked.
“No, I can’t turn it on. It’s broken. Completely.”
He made a show of shuffling his fingers over the edges, then just held the smartphone in place. The mare waited for a full minute, her entire posture exuding attention, and right as Anon began to worry she finally seemed to have realized nothing was going to happen. Her ears splayed back, she swished her tail, shuffled her hooves, then tucked up her hind legs and settled down on her croup, all without taking her eyes off the phone.
Anon decided to capitalize on the situation. He brought up his other hand and pointed at the smartphone, and said “smartphone.” Then he pointed at the mare, who broke off from watching the smartphone to watch him instead, and pronounced her name. Then he pointed at himself and said “Anonymous”. He repeated the cycle two more times, and on the third repeat when it was his turn, he simply pointed at himself and stayed silent. It was now or never.
The mare kept staring at him with her giant magenta eyes. Anon could almost see the mental gears turn in her head, the pony furiously trying to work out the meaning of his gesture, running countless calculations and building convoluted theories based on her experiences and observations of him. Then, there was a spark! The mare blinked, and Anon smiled. She tilted her to the side… and stayed silent.
Anon let out a dejected sigh. Either he was doing something wrong, or he was stuck with the densest pony in this entire world.
He got up from his knees and dusted off his pants. There was a strong urge to be somewhere else at that moment, caused in part by the stuffy basement air and in part by the sheer disappointment that his best attempt at communicating had failed little less than completely. He turned to the desk and put his phone next to some crystal. The burned plastic had left black stains on his fingers, which only added to the annoyance, so he spared a last glance at the mare who kept silently watching him, turned away and went to the door.