A human living in Equestria owns a restaurant in Canterlot. Hearth's Warming is approaching. Demand is high.
Life is a series of challenges, and running a restaurant is undoubtedly a big one. Jean does his best as anyone can while dealing with other things that have come into his life as of late.
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> . "Come along then, Iridescence, Silent Knight, let us return to the castle with haste before our coat grows to compensate for the cold!"
Oh hey, wasn’t expecting that crossover.
I need a sequel man! :'(
Oh the image is made by a AI? It’s kind of interesting the pony on the left when zoomed in has a reflection of a different part of town.
Interesting short story here. Do you plan to continue with one more chapter for the human to help his friend?
cutie marks are so good, you get a guaranteed to fulfill you career path, here on earth we have to guess and hope
I ended up liking all the original characters, I hope sugar Plum gets justice
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Yeah, the prompts were pretty colorful and that's putting it lightly.
Thanks for reading, I'm definitely inspired to add more to my library and it might mean coming back to this even if it is a separate story entirely.
This was a fun read, I wouldn't mind reading a continuation of this
Bro, that was one of the best stories I read in a while!
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I second this. Maybe an overly zealous Luna gets incensed at seeing Jean and a mare she assumes is his paramour assaulted by some blaggard, and has him arrested? The blaggard, not Jean.
Typos spotted:
wisps instead of wisks
costumers instead of customers (the most common typo on FiMfiction)
woup
costums
costumary
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Thanks pal. It seems going over it countless times doesn't always guarantee it's gonna be fail-free
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Thanks guys, very happy you liked it!
I really enjoyed the beginning and middle, but that last section feels like a different genre from the feel good rest of it. Yes I picked up and the bread crumbs from the smoke break, but still… what a shift in tone.
Would love to see a sequel to this
Very good. So good that I forgot it was a one shot while reading it.
This was rather enjoyable!
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Got me too!
forgot I like to give my thoughts on this Cog guy. I won’t be surprised if the reason why he hurt her is likely due to drugs or a mental issue that had changed him completely. There is a friend I know who has this friend whose husband who once was the nicest guy in the world but one day... he lost himself due... to someone bad at work giving him drugs and completely changing him... he is still in jail but hasn’t been the same since...
Sugar’s life situation reminded me of my friend’s friend story. It’s a lesson that you should always be careful not to hang out with the bad crowd but also don’t take something that will ruin your life and harm your family. Whatever is going on with Cog is likely very bad to the point of what we saw Sugar running for her life. The man needs to call the guards or else someone is going to get hurt.
Damn, I really loved it. Could be a big story on its own, a lot of things in motion. Fricken love it, a sequel would be great!
This was wonderful. You capture the environment and stress that comes with running and working in a restaurant.
And the part with domestic abuse made me tear up a bit.
Happy Holidays!
Adding this to my stories to keep my eyes on list.
Aside from a few minor typos keep up the great work.
Oh this was wonderful and I so look forward to more to come. I know I am not the only one who wishes Cog to get his just desserts maybe some help to get off the sauce. But he needs to be punished. A mare beater is not cool in my books. 10 outa 10 keep the literary gold coming!
Seize
to take hold of, suddenly or forcibly; grasp
cease
come or bring to an end.
Wait, is he a Pony or a Human?
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He's a human, just referring to him being built differently than a pony.
Hey Luna, since we're friends now, can you do me a favor and give us some good dreams tonight? I joked.
And the Princess of dreams did hear his prayer and seeing the dreams of the mare Suger was greatly wroth by what she saw. And the screams of the one called Cog were heard throughout the city that night. 🌑
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Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!
Oh nice new chapter. Huh I guess the dream was a memory of his marefriend which now sounds like… she isn’t around anymore
Time to help the Sugar
Oh, you'd best continue this! Restaurant stories are always the greatest. Betya that Luna ain't suffering no wife beating fools. Great and interesting story so far. Good characters and all that.
Happy early Hearth's Warming Cinnarowe.
I work foodservice as a day job, but sadly nothing as refined as what Jean gets to do, sadly no Princesses in my immediate future
It can get pretty hectic at times.
I also do a bit of cooking at home, my specialty though is more in line with Sugar Plum's, I'm the unofficial baker of the family. yesterday I made some brownies to take over to a sick church member, but they stuck to the pan so at the advice of my stepdad I turned it into a trifle.
As to the story, I'm curious as to this mystery Marefriend of his dream, and I'm interested to see how he handles the invite, some of the palace officials/chefs are likely to be rather fussy about visitors to say it politely. As to Cog, he better pray to Faust that this is a mental issue that can be helped with some therapy or counseling. If he's just using Sugar as his "I'm mad make me a #$%^&* sandwich" then I will think very strong words.
A pudding, an apple. My pudding, mine apple. Thy pudding, thine apple.
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I would not be surprised if Luna had to be physically held back from taking off (by multiple guards, naturally) and kicking that guy's ass as soon as she heard about it.
Very nice story so far I’ve got some anticipation for what’s next
I wonder if Jean's parents have a food related background. If yes, then who did he learn after, his human mother or his pony father?
More pls
Great story so far i approve
Greatly
Glad to see more, here are a few noticed “oops”:
> She flinched when. I flicked ger horn with my middle finger and went cross-eyed for a few seconds.
. to , and ger to her
… actually that was all I noticed.
Please, friend, make this a story that doesn’t go on for 20 chapters and then go on hiatus. This is a good one. Give it the full due.
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Thanks, working on more chapters as we speak!
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A happy early holidays for you as well, friend. It does indeed get hectic! I also get my pastry practice in good around the holidays, as well as preparing our holiday dinner which takes a lot of time to prepare!! Better get cookin'
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Very happy you're enjoying it, thanks!
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Thanks to all of you for the kind words, very happy you're enjoying the story!
Jean's extreme focus on food preparation sounds very much like a cutie mark talent. Also, if the dream was a memory from when he was twenty-three, how many years have passed until the present day? Developing the cooking and business skills to run a successful restaurant takes time. Is Jean now thirty-five years old?
The dream raises questions. Was it a memory? Or a fantasy? Was it the repurposed dream of someone else?
Honestly, the only I disagree is the fact that he used tissues for a bleeding wound that required him to apply pressure and for her to possibly get sitches.
Personally I would've gone and got paper towels and them grabbed bandages when I got the medical supplies, but yet again this could just be a me thing
Luna Claus!
Hopefully Sugar takes this chance to ask both Princesses for help or else Luna will most likely witness Cog breaking into the party to harm his wife…
Poor Jean. Surprise his mom didn’t mention about her life in Equestria much and it’s definitely sad that his love did pass away.
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"Santa Luna" sounds like it would be a city in Southern California.
That music was amazing and it only had ONE like on the video when I looked at it. What’s the deal with that?
This is really dang good and I really look forward to more of this
This needs an editing pass badly. Aside from a few errors that even spell check would flag, this story is way, way too well written to be allowed to suffer from Ye Olde Butchered Englishe. Very nearly everything Luna says is wrong.
"Thee" is for objects, "thou" is for subjects. So as thou art not pink, pink shall I paint thee. Thy and thine follow the same rules as a and an: a pear, thy pear, my pear, but an apple, thine apple, mine apple.
Should be "thee". Also, it's not incorrect, but using "to be" plus a gerund was very rare. "So early did we expect thee not!" would be a more likely construction. "She" is part of the sentence, and thus should be lowercase.
"Jean" case up, "she" case down.
Dost thou, or more likely, "What thinkest thou?" I/they/we/ye think, thou thinkest, he/she/it thinketh. Again lowercase "she." "Quite stunning" might be better served by "most stunning."
"We" doesn't take -eth or -est, so it's just "may we ask." For reference, though, if it did, it would be on "may," as that's the actual verb in the sentence.
Now for the trickier part. "who thee has brought" is the object of the sentence, but as a dependent clause it has its own subject and verb. The subject is the informal second person singular, and since it's the subject, it should be "thou." Since it's "thou," the verb will have an -st ending: "hast." And since the whole clause is the object, it requires "whom:" "May we ask whom thou hast brought?"
Thou. I know it looks like a direct object, but it's that weird case where the verb is "to be," so you get things like "It was I who ate the persimmons," or "Is this Twilight Sparkle?" "Yes, this is she."
"...we must ask thee for thy recipe!" she exclaimed...
Not sure why, but I lean strongly toward "call us simply Luna." But "would," not "wouldst," is definitely called for.
"We know not much..."
"We had hoped that thou mightst lend us a hoof, as 'twould please us greatly to prepare a cake for our sister," Luna asked...
But beware! If Luna is talking to Jean, the above is fine. If she's speaking to both of them, then she's going to use the second person plural, which is "you" (since she's using "thee" and "thou" and otherwise staying informal; if not, we'd have the formal "ye" to deal with, and who wants anything to do with ye now?). However, since she didn't know Sugar was coming, and she's talking about the past, we can safely assume she means Jean--er, I can, I suppose, since you wrote the darn thing and don't have to guess.
"We did," not "we have," just because that wasn't the question. Next sentence, you've got "much" in there twice. "Doth" should be "dost."
Should really be "whether."
Thee.
Here I have a vague idea that a monarch would not use the royal we to address a peer, but I don't have anything definite to base it on.
Ok, sorry for the size of this. I can delete it if you prefer. But like I said, this is too good to let bits of it be bad.
A human born in Equestria with his mom still around is a pretty rare story beat. Does make his interactions with other ponies differ from other wayward human stories.
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Not at all. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to point out the faults. I don't have an editor or anything like that. The only real editing help I have is what I get from Grammarly. Even then, some simple stuff like lowercase and upper case misspellings seep through.
I don't pretend to be educated with Olde Englishe as it is a guessing game half the time. I'll go ahead and make some adjustments based on your comment. Thanks!
(It is also important to note that not all of it is supposed to be completely by the book. Luna has been trying to adjust to modern language and it's supposed to come through sometimes, though I guess with broken Old English it's a bit of a hard sell, lol.)
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I thought about that, and I figured I should give you as much information as possible to get to what she would be saying if everypony still spoke like that. That way, you can then work backwards to blend in more modern speech without sacrificing grammatical integrity--the opposite of taking modern speech and adding eths and thees to it.
Damn, looks like his mother had a rather rough HiE landing.
I can't believe Luna is going to dress up as the legendary christmas character, Mariah Carey
Ya made a lil oopsie