We took the next available train back to Ponyville. I didn't say another word to any of the princesses. Not out of anger, but... I just couldn't do it. I couldn't be around Celestia at the moment. I think she understood though. She paid for a private car for the eleven of us.
I didn't want to put a damper on the whole day. I knew that the Crystal Fair was supposed to be fun and all that, but... well, I'm here with ponies forever. In a weird way, despite everything that I had been through, the Crystal Empire was the site of my greatest failure. It was the culmination of six years of effort; of fighting, of traveling, of struggling to survive. All to reach an end result that everybody told me was going to happen anyway.
So, of course, that left me with a question. Was it all worth it? What was the point of nearly dying far too many times for... nothing really? If I could go back, I'd tell myself to go back to Equestria after I learned to fight from Tycho.
Of course, being the thick-headed dunce that I am, I probably wouldn't have listened.
I lean my head against the window, allowing Oswald to nuzzle up close to me. He's perched on my shoulder, resting his head on mine. He's always been really perceptive of my moods, and I think he knows that something is wrong. He can't possibly know what. As far as I'm aware, he still thinks that I gave birth to him and am his mother, but he's smart enough to know when I'm down.
The rest of the ponies are sitting a few benches away from me, all with as subdued of moods as I had. I see Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash having a hushed discussion that I can't make the details out of. Pinkie, Rarity, Spike, and Fluttershy are just looking contemplative. Sweetie Belle is nuzzled up close to Rarity, and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are having their own hushed conversation. Occasionally one of the ponies glances my way, but none of them say anything. I'm grateful for that.
The sun begins setting on the horizon, and an image flashes in my mind's eye of Celestia, flying in the air with her horn illuminated, moving the entire sun herself while Luna moves the moon. At least there is still some order for them. They are in control of what happens around them.
I still can't believe it. I... I'm going to wake up soon, right? I'm going to wake up and the Crystal Fair hasn't happened yet, and I'm getting ready to go home. Heck, as much as I love these guys and Oswald... I might take the last six years being a dream if it meant that I get to be home.
Or would I?
A small frown crosses my face as I begin to consider the idea. Given everything that I've gone through, everybody that I've met and formed relationships with, all the things I've done, how I've developed as a person... would I just erase all of that, even knowing I'd be here for the rest of my life?
Huh. I don't think so, actually. I know the TD that first came here would have, but... I guess I'm not that guy, am I? It's strange to think that I could have changed that much in six years. I mean, everybody changes in some way over that long of a period of time, but it's odd to think that I've changed to the point where I'm comfortable around ponies at all, but... right now they're my closest friends.
I glance over at Oswald and can tell from the way that he isn't moving much that he's sleeping. That bird could fall, and frankly has fallen, asleep anywhere. It does remind me that I'm pretty tired myself. I suppose that I could sleep through most of the train ride back to Ponyville. It would stop me from remembering my situation for that much longer, and I need something like that.
* * * *
I manage to sleep through pretty much the entire train ride, waking up just as the train pulls into the Ponyville station. I open one eye to see Twilight walking over to me, presumably to wake me up, but once she sees that I'm awake, she nods and begins walking out of the train. I sit up and stretch, something that wakes up Oswald, and he flutters off of my shoulder onto my backpack. I stand up and put the backpack on, and follow Twilight out of the train. She slows down to walk beside me once I'm close enough.
"We've been talking, and we decided that you can stay with me while you get back on your feet. I'm not sure if your old house is still available, but we'll look around, okay?"
I nod. "Thanks," I mumble, "I guess I do need a place to stay until I get that all figured out. Just..." I hesitate and uneasily scratch the back of my neck. "Just don't tell anybody that I'm here yet, okay? I don't want anybody except you guys, Spike, and the Crusaders to know just yet."
Twilight nods. "Okay, I'll tell the others to not say anything."
"Thanks." Looking at the Ponyville train station once we got off, I'm glad that it was dark out once we arrived. It means that hardly anybody is around, meaning that a huge crowd of Ponyvillians waiting to get onto the train wouldn't see me and get really excited that Ponyville's resident human was back for good. The town is much the same way, deserted, as the rest of the Mane Six, Spike and the Crusaders pick up their luggage and we walk through the town on our way to Twilight's library home. Everybody is pretty much asleep by this point, so we don't actually run into anybody. I'm grateful for that.
Looking around, it shocks me just how little Ponyville has changed. It is all exactly how I remember it. It makes sense to me though, as I doubt that a small town such as this would change very much at all. If I learned anything about the Ponyville folk in my six months here, it's that they don't really like drastic change all that much. Sure the town did change when Twilight arrived and she added her unique brand of crazy to the town, but other than that it didn't change much at all. I am kind of grateful for that, now that I think about it. I need a little stability and simplicity after everything that I've gone through.
We reach Twilight's house after a short five minute walk, and Twilight uses her magic to open the door to the library, and we all file inside quietly. Spike, who has been dragging his feet the whole walk to the train station from exhaustion, immediately walks up the stairs and slides into his bed. Good to see he's outgrown that basket of his.
The ponies all sit on the floor of the library, and I lean on one of the bookshelves. We don't say much at first while we all try to think of something to say. I take a deep breath and start out. "I already asked Twilight this, but if you could not spread around that I'm here that would be great. I don't want other ponies to know that I'm around just yet. I'll let them know when I'm ready."
"Of course, TD," says Rarity with a nod. "Whatever you need just let us know."
"In the meantime we'll look inta gettin' you a house," says Applejack. "Ah ain't sure if yer house is still available, but I'll look into it tomorrow."
I give her a grateful nod. "Thanks, AJ."
"Is there anything else we need to talk about?" Twilight asks. "I mean... are there any more questions or favors you have for us TD?"
I take a deep breath as I mull over her question, but slowly shake my head. "No. I think that all I really want to do is get to bed so that I can get some more rest. I want to figure out what I'm going to do from here on, and I need a clear head to do that."
Twilight nods. "Of course TD. I'll show you my guest room. You and Oswald can stay here as long as you need to."
"Thanks." I turn my attention to the rest of the gathered ponies. "I can't thank you all enough for everything. Just know I appreciate your support more than you can know." I sigh and shake my head. "I'll see you later, I guess."
"Of course, TD," says Fluttershy. "You take all the time you need. We'll be here for you."
The group gives agreeing nods and grunts, as they begin to file out of the library. Pinkie is the last one out, and she turns to me and gives me a small smile before walking out herself and shutting the door behind her. With the library empty, Twilight beckons me forward and leads me to a guest room on the second level. The bed looks comfortable enough, and just large enough for me. I thank her and put my backpack down next to it while Oswald perches on the bedside table. Twilight leaves the room, and I plop down on the bed without even bothering to take even my shirt off. I decide that maybe, just maybe, I'll slide under the covers for a little warmth in the night.
As I settle into the warm blankets and sleep starts to take me, a single thought crosses my mind.
I'm here for good.