When I woke up from my dream, my mind felt hazy. The memories were fresh from the dream, but all the events felt jumbled like they were jumping back and forth. Was Fluffy actually there, in my dream? Was that a figment of my imagination?
I had no idea. The memories of the dream were rapidly fading away, but not the feelings it left me with. They felt stronger than ever. I felt more clear now than I ever had felt in a long time, and my determination was ablaze.
I reached a hand up and rubbed the tiredness out of my face. I needed to start acting on these feelings that were stirring inside me before I lost them again. I don't want to be a failure anymore.
So, there was still one problem I needed to take with me into the day. What's something fun my daughter would like to do, something we could do together? I needed to figure something out.
These thoughts would probably invade my mind for most of the day. With that in mind, I got out of bed and started getting dressed, since I didn't really feel like going back to sleep.
I decided that since it was still early, and since I was still feeling peppy from my nice dream, I would prepare Fluffy a nice surprise pancake breakfast, to start the day with a good feeling.
So, with a skip in my step, and a new determination in my heart, I made my way out of my bedroom. Fluffy wasn't up yet, and part of me was still wondering if I had just dreamt about Luna, too. Now that I mention it...
Is it even possible to dream about Princess Luna without it meaning she's actually there, in the dreamworld?
Strange thought, indeed. Anyway, before I got to my kitchen, I decided to check up on Fluffy, to see if she was still asleep.
A quick glance at the clock on the wall in the hallway told me it was early. Way too early to be up, and I didn't have to leave to go to work for another hour. So there was plenty of time to make a nice breakfast for us both.
I gently opened the door to her bedroom and saw that Fluffy was asleep in her bed. I didn't want to wake her until I was done with the food. When I saw her, I suddenly felt unsure again about having seen her in the dream. I still wasn't sure whether or not the dream I had was real.
I didn't want to suddenly act all chummy with her, not that I thought this small event would change much in our relationship. Part of me wanted to assume it did, and I desperately hoped Fluffy would feel the same. Can I really have broken the ice with her by not even being awake? I needed to be able to do this outside of a dream, but then comes the challenge of how?
I went into my kitchen to grab some appliances for making pancakes. Flour, a whisk, sugar, butter, and a bowl. As I searched for the rest, I kept thinking about Fluffy.
I couldn't just walk up to her and say 'Hey Fluffy, how about you and I go back to being a nice, big, happy family?' I'd already considered that, and I just could not get myself to be so forward. I needed to make it count. I needed to let her know just how much I wanted to go back, no, how much I wanted to go into a new life with her in it.
I know she longs for it, so I have to...
I have to...
What the fuck is going on with me?
As I was casually cracking eggs into a bowl while whistling a tune, I stopped myself completely. My body shut down and I froze in place.
In my mind, doubts and thoughts entered like a freight train. It had only been just a few days since all I wanted to do was go back to my normal life. I kept telling myself I was fine the way I was, but at the same time, I knew deep inside that I wasn't okay at all.
A few days ago I just wanted my parents to take Fluffy and go, but the thought of that now hurts my head. I hadn't seen my parents in a few days now, but I now found myself hoping they wouldn't come back, just so I could have some more time with Fluffy to make things right.
What confuses and hurts my head the most, however, is the fact that I am now actively trying to get back into being a dad who cares for his little girl. Why has my mind shifted so much in this short amount of time? What happened to make it all feel so possible all of a sudden? I saw some of the moments pass through my memories, and it made me feel warm. This is something that I wanted all along, deep inside.
I stood there, completely frozen in place, as I went through the past few weeks in my head. A lot had happened. More than had ever happened since... Since I lost part of myself. I made a choice to lose more than what I had already lost back then, and here I found myself regretting it all. I felt my eyes getting moist as I went through all of it in my head. Right then, I felt more sure than ever.
I am going to make that little girl smile again.
Feeling a surge of motivation, and a rejuvenated sense of self, I put my back into preparing the best breakfast a young filly would die for. A stack of delicious pancakes with syrup, sugar, jam, and berries. This meal might just be enough calories for an entire day, but young ponies don't have to worry about that, only the fossils among us.
Recalling how old I was these days hurt my head, so I tried not to think too much about it.
Before I finished the breakfast, I heard a shuffling noise to my left and saw the door to Fluffy's room slowly opening. I saw her peeking through the crack before she emerged slowly. She looked tired as if she hadn't gotten enough sleep. However, it seems the smell of food was much more tempting than sleep. She appeared to be drooling.
All the determination I had going for me froze up momentarily when I saw her, but I pulled myself together as best as I could. "Good morning. Want some breakfast?" I cracked a small smile.
She yawned and nodded. "Morning. Yeah, I would love some. It smells really good."
Despite her tired look, there was just something about this filly that shone brightly. Why was it that every time I looked at her, I felt so proud and happy for her? I felt this incredibly warm feeling inside me, telling me I needed to praise her for something she hadn't even done. Is this what every parent feels for their kids?
I turned around and picked up a plate that had a couple of the pancakes I had prepared on it, and put them on the table for her. She licked her lips as I poured syrup on top and spread some berries over it. Fluffy eagerly trotted out of the doorway to her room and sat down at the table. She looked at me with a smile. "Do you make this every morning?"
I shook my head and chuckled. "No, only on good days." I grabbed the other plate, and sat down next to her, putting the plate down in front of me. "I don't usually make much breakfast. It's always a bit of a rush since I'm going to work so early. I usually eat something simple at work."
Fluffy looked at me, food already having entered her mouth and she was trying to chew it before answering. "So today is a good day?" She said, eager to talk before swallowing.
I nodded and looked back at her with a shy smile. I wasn't sure how I was going to broach the subject of the dream. Should I even tell her about it? If she doesn't even remember it, it's going to seem weird, right?
She cleared her throat and put her fork down for a moment. "Um, so... I had this weird thing happen in the middle of the night. A dream, actually." She seemed to hesitate. "I was just wondering... if you had the same dream, too."
I blinked a few times and looked at her, not sure what to say. No way.
So, she did remember it. "Um, actually, yeah, I had the same dream. You were there, weren't you?"
She looked at me excitedly, like I just told her we just won a million bits. "So, you were there, too! Oh wow, I can't believe we were both in the same dream." She said excitedly.
I smiled back at her and felt my worries melt away from me. "I-I know, neither can I! I think it was really cool though, being able to be there. To do those things, with you, no less."
She grinned back at me, and her cheeks turned a little red. "Yeah, that was amazing." She said softly.
I had never seen this side of Fluffy, and I couldn't help but feel this was the real her. There was no masking of any kind. No front she was putting up. This was all her. The fact that she was so unsure about bringing up the dream led me to believe that she had also been worrying about the same things I had been worrying about. So, I guess she did inherit some parts of me after all. Good to know.
"So, uh... I was just wondering if it made you happy?" I hesitantly asked her after a brief silence.
She gave me a very sweet look and totally forgot about her food. "Yes! Very! I can't remember the last time we had so much fun together. Thank you so much for that. To be honest, I have sort of forgotten what we did in the dream. I can remember feeling really nice though, you know what I mean?"
I nodded and understood exactly. "Yeah, I know what you mean. The same thing's happening to me right now, too."
We both laughed at the situation, and I wanted to try to express my gratitude to her, too. "I had a lot of fun, kiddo. And seriously, those wings? Totally me."
She giggled at my comment. This was it. Time to jump into it. My heart was already jumping at the feeling of finally being out in the open about something with her. I felt warm, my mouth was dry, and my pulse was going very fast.
"Fluffy?" I asked, and she stopped giggling. I could see her eyes reddening a bit, she was actually gathering up some small tears in her eyes. I figured it was from laughing at my shitty joke, mixed with tiredness.
"Yeah?" She replied.
"I... I was wondering if maybe you would want to, I dunno, do something together?" I was feeling very nervous, and my voice was shaking slightly. "Maybe not a trip to the stars, but..."
"Really?!" She exclaimed and looked at me with disbelief. "You wanna do something with me?"
I smiled. "Of course! It'd be great. I mean, I know we have been a bit distant, but I really would love to hang out with you."
Her face lit up and she had a huge grin. "I'd love to!"
My emotions swelled. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Her smile made me feel warm inside, and my cheeks were heating up from how silly I felt being scared about asking her. I always worried she would say no, and that she would turn away and never come back if I ever tried opening myself to her.
Why would anyone be scared to be open with their family? I don't have the answer to that.
It made me feel like back in the good old days when I had Willow at my side. This was a different situation, of course, but when I would ask her to hang out and do things with me, I would always feel so content with myself. It felt like such a small thing, but the memories made my emotions sugary sweet.
It made me feel like a different person. When this side of me came out, I would be pretty annoying to look back on, as I would feel extremely embarrassed about my own behavior when I had time to reflect. It was nice reminiscing about all of this, though. It took me way back to when I first asked Willow to come with me to...
An idea struck me. I knew where we could go.
"So, do you wanna go somewhere this weekend?" I asked Fluffy. "I don't know when grandma and grandpa come back, but who cares what they have to say?"
"Of course! Where are we going?" She asked curiously as she stifled a round of giggles.
"That's a surprise. You'll love it, trust me. Your mom and I used to go there all the time."
It came out without me even really thinking about it. I had brought up the one thing that I really didn't want to bring up with Fluffy. Not because she didn't know what happened with Willow, but because I never wanted to talk to her about it. I just didn't want her to feel bad about it or have it bother her at all.
Ponies and people don't work like that, Jean. You know that. My subconscious loved poking me with common sense. Something I never appreciate.
It was like a bucket of cold water being dumped over my head, and I felt like an idiot.
Fluffy looked at me hesitantly, as if talking more would make me shatter like glass. "Mom and you?"
Okay, so she didn't seem to want to dwell on it and tried to move it along. I nodded stiffly. "Yeah. We, uh... we liked going to a lot of different places." I started and started eating some food in between my words. I totally forgot to eat anything. "She would always try to go somewhere new, but this place was somewhere we could always go back to for some comfort."
We moved away from the uncomfortable silence to me telling about my travels with Willow. Fluffy listened patiently and seemed to really enjoy hearing about it. I didn't really mind telling her about Willow, because these were nicer memories. The poor filly never really got to actually know her mom that well, and that's partly my fault for not telling her anything before now.
However, it seemed like she was enjoying herself while I talked to her, and that made me happy.
Fluffy was listening to me talk without interrupting, though sometimes it looked like she wanted to comment on something. I was sure she had a lot she wanted to say but decided not to take it here.
I didn't want to talk too much about the bad stuff, so instead, I wanted to talk about the good parts. I know she had questions. These questions I would someday have to answer. If only I could give her any actual good excuse as to why things turned out the way they did.
It doesn't matter anymore. What matters now, is how I handle things going forward. And I will-
The front door of my house suddenly started banging. Me and Fluffy jumped, as I was in the middle of talking about me and Willows's trip to Saddle Arabia. I could hear crying coming from outside and a voice begging to be let in. It was Sugar Plum's voice.
Shit. Shit!
I jumped up from my seat and ran to my front door, unlocked it, and threw it open. A cold chill met me along with a broken Sugar Plum.
She fell into my entryway, her face beaten and bruised. From the moment I saw her, I felt a chill run down my spine. A voice in my head was trying to prevent me from going on a murderous rampage across Canterlot to find a certain pony to rip his tail off and feed it to him.
"Sugar!" I yelped and bent down to check her as she cried hysterically. I checked to make sure nobody was behind her, before pulling her very gently into my house and shutting the door. I needed to get a handle on the situation and gauge her damages to help her.
I never wanted to see this scene again...
Fluffy had joined us at the entrance of my house. She looked horrified at the scene in front of her but came to help regardless. As she was approaching, I had an idea. "Fluffy, go get some a towel and some tissues. Go into the medicine cabinet and bring as much of what's in there as you can, okay?"
She nodded and went into my bathroom without missing a beat. The last time this happened, I didn't have a helper like her around, but now I do. Just that feeling alone sparked some sort of pride in me. I turned back to Sugar who was drooling snot all over my floor as she cried and tried to talk to me through sobs. "Jean... I-I'm sorry for, c-coming here again,"
I scoffed. "Don't be, right now you just need to lay still and let me take care of you," I commanded her and sat down on my knees and put her head in my lap. I was very careful and checked to see if she had any severe injuries besides the ones I could see. "I told you that you could come back here if you ever needed to. If I found out about this later and realized you didn't come to me, I would be seriously pissed off."
Sugar Plum snorted as a response, but it ended up hurting her. She was bleeding from her nose, and the wound that had previously closed had re-opened. Her eye was black and she had bruises on her forehead, her cheeks, and her chin. This time had been the worst one for her, by far.
He had not held back. It made me so mad I wanted to sprint out of my front door, but I knew I would do something that I would regret if I did. So, I kept her head still on my lap for my own sake as well.
There was a moment of silence as she continued to cry on me before I started talking. "This time, he isn't getting away with this. Do you understand?" I stated. It was not a matter to be discussed, she would simply have to accept it. She cried harder as I said it, but nodded through her tears. She didn't say anything against it, to my great delight.
I didn't like the feeling I had inside me. I was never a violent man, and I never wanted to resort to violence, so I wasn't enjoying the feeling inside me right now. It was telling me that I should be violent, that I should return the favor unto Cog.
I wanted to purge the feeling from myself, I didn't believe an eye for an eye was something anyone should live by. So, I decided to handle it a different way, quelling the intense lust for justice in myself much to my chagrin. Right now, Sugar didn't need another angry guy with her. I gently stroked her mane as I let her cry on me.
Once Fluffy came back into the room with medicinal gear strewn over her wings, I got to work. Fluffy stuck close to Sugar, stroking her back and telling her it would be okay. This made Sugar calm down a little bit, but she was probably very shaken up. One could only imagine what a victim of domestic abuse goes through in their mind.
I would never aim to find out.
Fluffy didn't know about Sugar and Cog's relationship. To my knowledge, I wasn't sure if she even knew Sugar Plum was married. She had barely just met her, but they seemed to have already made a connection between each other.
Fluffy kept comforting Sugar, and eventually, her crying had died down to sniffles. She wasn't damaged beyond repair, and it was a fairly painless procedure to treat her injuries. I had to patch up her nose again, I put some ice on her eye and just went over her smaller wounds with some wet wipes and bandaged the biggest ones. No stitches were needed, it seemed. Other than that, she would have to suffer through the bruises as best as she could until they faded. I hated that.
It had been about twenty-five minutes since she banged on my door, and at that point, I felt like I was ready to get moving. We hadn't talked much since she arrived, but she did when I went to leave my house. "Jean, what are you going to do?"
I turned to her after putting on my coat. "You're not going to work today. You're staying here where we're gonna take care of you. Okay?"
She looked back to Fluffy and stood up properly before answering me with a horse voice. "And I w-want to thank you for that... I can't explain to you how grateful I am to you, but that doesn't answer my question, Jean."
I went to open my door, without looking back. "I'm gonna go turn his wheel."
My trip across Canterlot was quiet. Nobody was awake yet as it was still early morning. The sun hadn't even risen yet, and it was quite chilly. It fueled my irritated mind that Sugar had to run outside early morning in this cold weather without any warmth around her. If only I could have been there to keep her warm.
For a moment I felt a bit odd thinking I would like to have been there with her to comfort her, but when I thought about it, it didn't feel strange at all. Me and Sugar had always had a good tone between each other, and lately, that tone felt like it had taken a slightly different direction. I wasn't unhappy about it, but like everything else lately, it had been a bit overwhelming.
I wonder how I will handle these feelings once things settle down around here?
I had my hands in my pockets and walked as fast as I could without running. I may have made my intentions a bit unclear to Sugar Plum and Fluffy as I left the house, but I wasn't going to hurt Cog. I wanted answers. I just wanted to tell him that I wasn't going to stand for his bullshit anymore. I wanted him to hear it.
My destination was not far from here. My feelings on the matter might change when I see his ugly face again, I might lose control. He might shoot me down or threaten to beat me too. The outcome depends on him.
Cog and Sugar's house was just outside the inner city limits of Canterlot, in a rural area. It was a nice place, with a nice house and a large garden. There was a greenhouse outside and a lot of different plants and fruits growing. All of it was covered in snow now, but I had seen it in the summertime.
Sugar Plum was the only reason their house looked nice. From what I knew about their life, which wasn't much, Cog didn't have a job. All he did was drink and yell. Other than that, Sugar told me he would leave the house late at night and come back early morning. I guessed that whatever he was doing tonight went totally off the rails.
I approached the house and stopped a couple of meters away from the front door. It was closed and there was a light on inside. He was probably still awake at this point, I didn't think that any abusive husband could go to bed with a clear conscience after doing that to his wife.
I walked up to the front door and banged on it with my fist.
Nothing.
I knocked again, this time a bit harder. "Cog Wheel, open this door right now."
Still nothing.
I didn't want to knock any louder. I really didn't want to disturb the neighborhood I was in this early. It was already bad enough with how things had gone today, and I didn't want there to be some huge deal that would get covered by any news outlets.
"Cog, we need to talk," I said as loud as I could without screaming.
Not a sound.
Without much care of breaking and entering, I went for the door handle. I tried it, and I felt the door open. Surprised he would leave it open, I slowly pulled it toward me and looked inside.
I could only see the dimly lit entryway, and I could tell someone had come through here in a hurry. The carpet had been curled up and a bunch of stuff was tilted over. I walked in and left the door open in case I had to get out in a hurry.
"I'm coming in," I said out loud, not expecting an answer. I was greeted with a very cold silence. It was increasingly unsettling. For a moment I was expecting him to be hiding in the shadows to ambush me when another thought hit me.
Did he run away?
Of course, the best thing to do in this situation would be to leave town and hope nobody finds him. He probably knew things had gone too far this time and decided to bail. I cursed myself for not running over here straight away. "Fuck."
I looked around the hallway and then moved on into the living room. Nothing. Not a single sign of him.
That was when I heard a noise.
It sounded like something breaking. A loud crash came from upstairs. My eyes went wide. He was still here.
"Cog Wheel!" I yelled and ran up the stairs, taking them two steps at a time. I didn't know the layout of this house, so I kind of went with my gut. When I got to the top of the stairs, I was met with a hallway and two closed doors. Without wasting any time, I went over to grab the door handle of one of them and swung it open.
I was met with an image I wasn't expecting to see, and it made my brain twist. The room was a mess, there was blood on the ground, and in the middle of the room was a chair that had fallen to the ground. Right above that chair, hanging in the middle of the room, was Cog Wheel.
My head was in the process of restarting, so I didn't have the proper processing to react as fast as I would have wished.
"Hey!" I yelled and sprinted over to him when I was finally able to return to my senses. He wasn't passed out yet, he was choking. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"
I grabbed him and heaved him up. "I'm not letting you do this!" I yelled as I tried to hold him up. I heard him gasp for air, and then he started to struggle. I reached up and tugged at the rope around his neck, and after a lot of struggling, I was able to loosen it for him. I lifted him up more, and at that point, he assisted me and freed himself.
He fell to the ground, breathing heavily. He was coughing and hacking with all his might. "Are you out of your mind?!" I shouted at him and got down on my knees to look at him. His face was purple and his eyes were bulging out of his head. He had been on the verge of passing out.
He was wheezing and holding his chest as he took in gulps of air. He couldn't say a single word, he was too busy trying to breathe. He looked horrible like his lungs had shriveled up in his chest.
"How could you do this to her?!" I said as I grabbed his shoulder and shook him in frustration. He flinched, but he didn't seem to have the energy to do much more. He was still coughing and sputtering, so I gave him a minute to recuperate.
I pushed away for him and sat on the floor, waiting. After a few moments of his coughing subsiding, he finally spoke. "Why did you stop me?"
I frowned. "Because I'm not just going to watch someone die when I can stop it. And you're not going to run away from the things you've done!" I said to him and stood up again. He looked down to the ground and banged his head on the carpeted floor gently.
"Why are you here?" He asked weakly.
"I came here to give you a piece of my mind, so I wasn't really expecting to see you like this."
"Yeah, no shit."
"How long were you hanging there? Were you waiting for me or something?"
"No." He croaked weakly. "I was trying to do this since she left but I chickened out. When you came, I had no other choice."
"So you're not a stallion, huh? You're just a fucking coward." I challenged him. He seemed to take the bait.
"Shut up! Don't say a fucking word! You don't know shit about me!"
"You're right. I don't. So why don't you tell me why the fuck you're beating the shit out of your wife, and why you just tried to kill yourself?"
"So, let me get this straight. You beat her senseless today because you wanted her to hate you so that you could kill yourself without her feeling bad? Do you seriously think she wouldn't be upset about it?" I asked after hearing his explanation.
We were sitting in their kitchen. He poured himself some liquor and I just sat there, not really feeling like drinking anything. He offered me some, but I turned it down. The situation had calmed down, and I wasn't really feeling my blood boil like earlier. Things had taken a turn for me, yet again. I was now a therapist for the guy who abused my friend. And it's not even eight in the morning.
Go figure.
I was supposed to go to work in five minutes. Needless to say, I won't be coming in today. I had way too much stuff going on. I would just pray that the others would manage in some way or another. Without me or Sugar, there might be some issues. Giddy would have to step in as the leader today.
I'm really counting on you, Giddy. Don't let me down.
Cog took another swig of his drink. "Everything changed when she told me she was afraid to go back home because she knew I was going to hurt her," Cog said. He sounded broken like he had been defeated.
I scoffed. "You did this to her. Don't you understand that your actions have consequences? She's afraid of you."
He nodded. "Of course, I do. Things weren't always like this..." I put his head in his hooves as he rubbed his face.
I looked at him, not really feeling much pity. Anyone with a brain could tell Cog was beyond broken. He had a constant case of dark rings around his eyes. He had gained weight, and he seemed to me like those guys who are always bitter and complain about something. I had never had a proper conversation with him before, and I never wanted to talk to him.
But here I was.
"So, what the hell happened? Why did all this have to happen? She's a pony with her own life, and you've been fucking it up. So tell me what happened, because I'm involved in this now." I said as I leaned forward in the chair.
Cog took a sip of his liquor and swallowed hard. He took a deep breath before he started.
"Me and Sugar used to be happy together. We had our problems, but we never argued or fought. Then, one day, I was tempted into playing the lottery after it was announced there would be a grand prize." He gulped another large swig of alcohol before continuing. "I ended up playing, and I won. On my first try. I never touched anything that had anything to do with lotteries or gambling before that time." He said, looking to the ground as he spoke.
I raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't really sound like a problem."
"No, it wasn't. Not at first. But that wasn't the problem. After winning the lottery, we had enough money to buy a big house, and to have a good life together. While that was all well and good, I started giving in to some other feelings. I was suddenly very tempted by the world, and the temptations were absolutely everywhere." He said somberly, reflecting on his past mistakes.
"What were these temptations?" I asked, kind of already guessing what he meant. I just wanted to keep him talking, because it was de-escalating his mood drastically.
"I wanted more money so that we could continue living a happy life. I spent so much on gambling... I ended up in debt. Not only did I lose the small fortune we had to drinking and gambling, but I started seeing my wife as a problem." He said, shaking his head.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, not understanding where this was going.
"At some point, I started blaming her for not stopping me." He said without much emotion and took another swig of his drink.
I was appalled. "Are you saying she should have stopped you from doing whatever the hell you wanted to do?"
He sighed deeply. "Yes, that's what I kept telling myself. I started treating her poorly because of it. And after that, it was hard to go back. The damage had already been done. And I didn't have a way out. My life had spiraled out of control, and it was already too late."
"What a shitty reason to abuse someone," I said.
He put his bottle down with a 'clink'. "I know."
"Do you even have any idea how bad she has it right now?" I asked, leaning forward in my seat and looking him in the eyes, challenging him to look back into mine.
He looked me dead in the eyes, his eyes full of sadness. "No. I don't. But I don't deserve to know, and I know that. Because I'm a coward."
"You're right." He said tiredly.
"What's the plan, Cog? You're not getting away with this, but I think you know that. So what are you going to do now?"
"I'm turning myself in." He said. He was holding his head in his hooves again, this time I could see tears streaming down his face behind them.
"Okay," I said.
There was silence.
He started sobbing. "Will you help me?"
I thought for a second that he was asking me to forgive him. Forgiveness wasn't something he could be granted at the moment, from either part. After a moment of deliberation, I had a feeling he just wanted someone to be there with him as he turned himself in.
Cog didn't have anyone besides his wife. He and Sugar barely talked, and when they did, they would argue. He didn't have any friends, or anyone he could talk to. Maybe now, for the first time in a long time, he wanted to stretch out his hoof to somebody.
I had a moment of 'fucking hell, when is this shit going to end?', but I wanted this to go as smoothly as possible for Sugar. I wanted things to work out for her because I truly and honestly cared about her. I could see how much she struggled. Cog had just tried to kill himself to avoid living with himself any more, but now he was ready to face his actions head-on. I had to make sure it stayed that way, for Sugar's sake.
"...Okay. I'll help you."
That morning, just fifteen minutes later, Cog and I left his house with nothing but ourselves. He didn't bring anything with him. I walked next to him and said nothing as we walked to the castle to find a guard. It only took a ten-minute walk for us to get there, and when we did, I waved down a pair of guards patrolling the streets outside of the castle.
I explained everything, and Cog simply nodded his head and agreed to all the claims I had to say against him. After listening to the story, the guards nodded and told me they would take him into custody for questioning. It was a fairly painless procedure, and it couldn't have gone more smoothly. They didn't cuff him, they simply told him to follow. I didn't need to come with them, so I stayed where I was.
Cog looked at me one final time before he was escorted by the guards into a building next to the castle. I didn't understand what the look in his eyes was, but I think some part of him was able to make peace with what was happening.
At the end of this little ordeal, I was left feeling bitter. This wasn't what I wanted, not really.
I thought I didn't want anything else but to see Cog rot away inside a jail for years, but now that he was being taken away, I wasn't feeling satisfied. I felt angry and empty. Maybe he had a chance of bettering himself where he was going, but what was left now was fixing what was broken here. I didn't even know where to start with that, but I had to find a way. Somehow.
As I walked away, I looked up towards the sun. It was finally rising, and it was a beautiful scene. As it slowly rose over the city, it came to life. I walked through the morning streets of Canterlot, meeting some of the residents along the way. I knew so many of this city's residents, so I was greeted the whole way home by happy ponies wishing me a wonderful day.
I passed by The JeanDélicieux but didn't go in. I could see activity happening inside, and I felt secure that Giddy had everything under control.
But as much as I enjoyed seeing familiar faces, it didn't fill the void in my heart. As I walked through the city, I could only feel emptiness inside. No matter how many smiles I would see, no matter how many ponies would say hello to me, nothing would make me feel better. How would I tell Sugar what happened to Cog?
Would she be happy? Would she cry? Would she want to know at all? I was lost, and I was afraid. I was so tired.
In a way, I started seeing myself in Cog. He was in a hopeless place, because of something huge that had happened to him. Of course, our stories are a bit different, but we always have a choice, in the end. I chose to distance myself when I lost my wife, Cog chose to ruin his life and he ended up losing his wife in the process. What was left for him now?
If anything, I would be even more grateful that I now had a chance to take my broken life back. If I ever needed more of a boost to make it happen, I supposed this would be one of them. But, despite all this, I was getting near the end of my patience with so many unforeseen things happening.
I needed all this stress out of my life, and I needed peace.
But most of all, I needed to see Sugar.
And actually, seeing my daughter would help a lot, too.
So without any more fuss, I left the streets of Canterlot and made my way home.