//------------------------------// // (Weiss Report) Time Travel Sucks [Time Machine] // Story: The Unique Properties of Dark Magic // by Shadestyle //------------------------------// Entry One-Hundred-Sixty-Five, Year Fifteen. Let me go on record by saying I fucking hate time travel. It's super fucking spooky, and I'm so fucking positive that If I fuck with it too much, it's going to fuck back. And I really don't want to get fucked by time travel. That having been said, I've created a time machine. Now I know what you're thinking, but I'm not really a fan of prune juice, especially in a swimming pool. Jokes aside, I do have a good reason for this. Several in fact. Reason number one? I can. Reason number two, I wanted to. Reason number three... Well, for a while, I was desperate enough to consider using one. Now that it's finished, though, it remains firmly on the shelf. If there's one thing I've learned watching cartoons, it's this. "Time Travel is for Immortals and Fools." is an axiom I hold near and dear to my heart, and one I have no plans of putting to the test any time soon. But one thing I suppose is important is the fact that, now that I have a time machine, I can, at the very least, combat other time travelers. Like, say, ones who threaten to destroy time by using ancient time-warping spells to alter the past. Yeah, see, I'm not a big fan of getting reset either. Ergo, instead of dismantling this time machine, I'm going to hold onto it, store it somewhere safe, and hope I never have to break the puppy out. Especially considering one simple fact. It's not really a very good time machine. My first attempts at using it for strictly testing purposes were... Less than stellar. Test number one, which was unmanned, worked well enough, I would only send it forward, and then back, observing the results accordingly. This experiment showed that the machine's accuracy left a bit to be desired. Further tests only compounded that, culminating in me determining that every pound of weight in the time machine makes it more inaccurate with it's destination. I was able to fix this problem with some carefully re-tuned Timeshift Crystals, but even then, the time traveler would have to make a judgement call, and choose to risk one of three things. Missing their intended location by a random portion, missing their intended time by a random portion... Or missing their intended timeline by a random portion. Yeah, see, that kind of answer would freak me out too. After I got a report back indicating that my Time Machine, however briefly, had entered a parallel universe created through a DIFFERENT type of time travel, and that my own time machine was incapable of generating new timelines, I jerked my metaphorical hand back as though it were burned. So fucking spooky. I was tempted to destroy my time machine right there and then, but at the same time, realized that it was too late to shove the genie back in the bottle. If there existed other versions of myself in parallel timelines, it would only take one of the time machines they made falling into the wrong hands to screw me over, even if I myself destroyed this one. Furthermore, the other me's would presumably also realize this, increasing the amount of total time machines. It would be a fucking Cell Situation all over again if I just assumed getting rid of my time machine would get rid of all of my time machines, and I'd be the Trunks who was dumb enough to assume so. So I'm back to Plan A. Shelve it until I need it. That being said, I plan to consult a fortune teller next week, by asking her very specific questions about the future, I can determine a great many things about this timeline, and where it's headed. Namely, if it's a doomed timeline. Regardless of the results, I plan to use a mind-wipe on myself to remove the answers the fortune teller gives me from my memories, and use a timer to ensure that I spend exactly one hour asking her questions. By combining these two things, and the Tree of Harmony subtly manipulating time on it's own, I should be able to "Synchronize" any alternate versions of myself, preventing the various timelines from deviating due to the answers I receive from the fortune teller. I also have a relic designed to cure the mind-wiping if certain conditions are met, which would allow me to immediately know which timeline I'm in, and make plans accordingly to preserve the prime timeline. I really screwed the pooch on this one, but It's better than just being helpless if a threat comes using time as a medium of assault. Entry One-Hundred-Sixty-Six, Year Fifteen. One thing worth mentioning, the commissioning of this machine has also taught me a great deal about the potential of Timeshift Crystals. Possibly even more than the creation of the Master Sword afforded me. They really are quite the miraculous substance. Apparently nobody thought to tie time-manipulating magic to raw, grown crystals before. Their loss, I guess. Like seriously, even though on their own, they can't actually generate new timelines, they ARE capable of... basically fulfilling all of one's time-related needs, including the preservation of certain types of paradox object, stabilizing the fabric of time within an area, and of course, the wide, wide range of methods that it can be put towards for manipulating time on a smaller, more manageable scale. To that end, I've managed to create twenty five Timeshift Pendants, ten of which I stuffed in the time machine, just in case. Though again, hopefully it won't come to that, since even with a Timeshift Pendant, if a Paradox Object wants to cease existing, there's not a whole lot I can do. The existence of a paradox object that time wants gone will actually drain the energy from a Timeshift Pendant in an imperceptible way, which also means I've got no way of telling if something's going to poof until it suddenly does, and my crystal shatters. It's actually super annoying. I really do hope someone figures out a better way to preserve paradox objects in the future, because this really isn't a workable method for doing the job. If they did, I wouldn't have to worry nearly as much about this dumb time travel bullshit.