//------------------------------// // 16: Crisis in Canterlot // Story: Anon von Bismarck // by WojakWriter //------------------------------// The impromptu command center was a hive of activity. Messengers ran to and fro frantically speaking into officer ears wherever they happened to be. Fresh soldiers were taken in, pushed along, and sent off every second. A miasma of madness hung in the warm evening air, the scent of summer overwhelmed by the reek of adrenaline and sweat. At the center of it all, a command table laid out on several large crates. A number of officers, including one of the two I’d spoken with earlier, crowded around it amidst a heated argument.. But when I approached, their conversation cuts off and they saluted me sharply. I returned the gesture and leaned my hands on the makeshift table, hunching over to come closer to their level. “Alright troops, what's the situation?” The senior officer, a major, tells me the whole story. Apparently instead of a section of MPs, an entire platoon had been assigned to the detainment of the guards. They couldn’t even get a simple damn order right. I’d have words with whoever was responsible later Of course, sixty well armed ponies walking into the barracks and demanding the surrender of any guard that was assigned to the ambassador went over poorly. A heated argument began, questioning lines of authority, the jurisdiction of the Royal Guards, who technically weren't a part of the military, and the veracity of the orders It had sparked a brawl, and finally shots to be exchanged, between the parties. It was unknown which group had fired first, but the result was several wounded guards and soldiers, and the imprisonment of two soldiers who hadn't managed to retreat with their comrades. Of course, now there was a standoff between every guard in the barracks and at least two platoons of regular infantry, plus the MPs. I could feel a migraine developing at the base of my neck. It seemed there was always some new, creative disaster happening. Though I couldn’t deny my own hand in this one. I should’ve been more clear, maybe assigned a different officer to the task, had Quill relay my order more clearly, anything else. But there was no time to pass the blame around the room. “Alright, do we have a solution to this? Preferably one that doesn't involve artillery and fusillades, I'd rather not have a civil war." There were some nervous glances all around the room. One of the officers spoke first. A stallion with a white coat and blond mane. "W-well sir, we were hoping that you could help us with a diplomatic solution. After all the solutions you hammered out with the griffons when you were in the foreign ministry, we're confident that you can solve this with no trouble." I blinked slowly and glanced at his rank insignia. Only a captain, and a quick look around tells me he's the senior officer here. So it wasn't incompetence, it was inexperience that was the enemy of the day. Figures, it always boiled down to inexperienced people making mistakes causing massive issues for me. He was probably one of the nobles that had been snapped up at the beginning of the war and had been put on the accelerated curriculum. It didn't make this any less of a fine mess. I glanced around the room, my eyes landing on a crate with the stencil of a piece of armour on it. A small smile took on my face as the gears in my mind begin to turn. Makeshift body armor. It was no M-69, but it might’ve stopped a guardsman from hurting me too much. "Alright then, where exactly are these guards holed up?" Twenty minutes later, I was stood behind a makeshift barricade with a group of antsy soldiers. I adjusted the ill fitting armour that had been strapped to form a makeshift breastplate. Individually, the various pieces were too small, the wrong shape, or just plain useless to me. It was pony shaped after all, and I was obviously not a pony. But with a bit of engineering, and copious leather straps, I and the ponies had managed to slap together something that provided a modicum of protection for me. Better than the cotton of my white uniform did at least. And I wasn’t completely harmless either. My new pistol would make sure of that, tucked safely into my breast pocket. I’d have to look into getting some proper armour fitted, especially if I needed to visit hostile lands. Going to Trottingham with no armor was dangerous enough thinking back, but the high of the moment had clouded thoughts of safety. But for now, the armor was good enough even if it appeared I had simply decided to wear the entire kitchen. And so, despite the urging of the officers and the pit in my stomach, I cautiously stepped over the barricade and called out to the obstacles the guards had erected themselves. "This is...” I trailed off, unsure of exactly how to address myself. ‘Lord' seemed to be the most common form, but technically I wasn’t a noble. 'Regent' also seemed applicable, but I felt it constituted the presumption of an ending of my post. As if I’d give up this throne willingly. It was mine now, after all. But then, it dawned on me, the perfect title to fit my roles both past and present. To show I wasn’t a noble, but that I would also be here to stay. “This is Chancellor Anonymous, I demand to speak to the officer in charge of this section of the Royal Guard.” In the stillness that followed my pronouncement, I could clearly hear shuffling from behind the opposing battlement. The helmeted head of a guardsman pops up, a garish crest denoting his commanding role. ”I'm watch commander Buckler, senior officer here. Pardon me saying so, but it's about time you showed up to cow this peasant army into backing down.” Peasant army? How snobbish of him. The sneer on his face shows his clear disdain for the ponies of the army that were opposite him. My eyebrow twitched at the 'peasant army' comment, and I could hear a jeer from behind me. “What I'm here to do, guard, is to negotiate your standing down, the return of the ponies you've taken prisoner, and discussion of detaining the roster of guards responsible for the changeling ambassador becoming injured.” I saw the eyes of the guard widen in alarm. He turned from the barricade, apparently to confer with other ponies at the barricade. After a moment, he turns back to me. ”We're willing to negotiate, please come this way sir and we can discuss your terms.” I blinked, momentarily stunned at their easy cooperation. I had expected to need to convince them a bit first. Or to gun them all down for this little insurrection. But my surprise was replaced immediately with with suspicion. “Before I come over, you're going to release the ponies you've taken prisoner. Once they're safe with the military, I'll come over and we can talk.” Another moment of hushed conference. ”We'll have them sent over the battlements. We'll have them walk over as you come to us.” It seemed that I would become their bargaining chip if things went wrong. I nodded firmly and spoke. “Done.” A few painstakingly long minutes later me and the soldiers who were taken hostage, one of whom was wounded, traded places, and I joined the guards who lead me to their barracks. A table had been set up, and the pony I’d been speaking to before was seated there across from me with a nervous look on his face. ”Please sir, have a seat.” I sat down across from him and prepared to avert a rebellion. “Sir we could not have known--” I cut the guard off with a sharp gesture. “I'm not interested in excuses or laying blame, commander. I'm here to bring a conclusion to this madness.” The guard, Buckler was his name if I could recall, seemed taken aback by my pointed words, and his tone when he spoke again was more subdued than before. “Yes sir, of course. I and my guards only want to reach a peaceful resolution to this...unfortunate circumstance.” I narrowed my eyes at his wording. It was clear he was trying to worm out of any punishment I cared to dispense to them. I simply let out a quiet sigh. “Let me set something straight. Commander, the way I see it, your cohorts directly disobeyed orders, beat a defenseless changeling diplomat half to death on virtue of his race alone, and subsequently mutinied against lawful rule when proper authority came to arrest the aggressors. The only peace resolution comes with your total surrender, and the surrender of every other guardsman in this building.” I saw the commander swallow hard, and his eyes flitted about the room. When he remains silent, I continued. “Rest assured commander, I only want to bring the ponies that assaulted the changeling diplomat. Assuming no further resistance or injury, I give you my word that the punishment for this incident will be light.” Buckler narrowed his eyes at my apparent easy acquiescence. “Pardon my Prench sir, but where's the catch? Nothing is ever so easy as that.” My face and eyes hardened, growing severe, and I leaned forward across the table. “You're right, commander. While there may be little to no direct punishments dispensed, outside those who committed willful assault, the Royal Guard as you know it will be no more. You will keep your posts, but shall be rolled into the military proper in a ceremonial role. This means adherence to the chain of command, to lawful orders given by your superiors, and of course thorough accountability measures.” The watch commander chokes back either a scream or a guffaw, making me narrow my eyes at him. After composing himself he speaks in a disbelieving tone. ”You can't honestly believe that the elite Royal Guard would ever allow themselves to be rolled into a peasant army like that, sir! Surely you're joking.” A frown began to grow on my face and I had knitted my brows together, the insinuation irking me. “I'm not, and don't call me shirley.” Buckler blinked rapidly, and I could see a bead of sweat begin to streak down his forehead. ”Sir, the others certainly won't stand for this. There will be a proper mutiny if you do this!” I shook my head slowly, sadly. “Then they'll stand before the guns of the infantry. Peaceful or not, this little insurgency will end. The only question is whether the Guard will remain an entity within the military, or be forgotten as a relic of the past, who fought against the betterment of Equestria.” There is a long, pregnant pause as Buckler considered his next choice. I’m considerably surprised at his hesitation, anyone would think this an easy choice for even the most prideful pony. After all, it wasn't just his own life that he was taking into account, but the lives of every pony in the barracks and opposing him. Hell, even the lives of those outside of Canterlot. Even in the many years I’d spent in both Canterlot and the army, I couldn't think of a single time anyone had been more callous. Even the most steadfast and glory seeking of officers on Earth cared more about their soldiers. Finally, Buckler speaks once more. ”I'm going to need it, in writing, you won't bring undue prosecution against my men. The ones who committed assault, sure, but not the ones who participated in this. They only had the interests of their brother-in-arms at heart, not malice.” He stared down at the table as he makes his proclamation, and I felt more than a little ashamed. Despite my living with them, I still held ponies to the same ideas I held for humans. Old habits, I suppose, but it's a firm lesson for me. “Of course commander, if you would allow it I'll have somepony bring in parchment and we'll draw up the agreement right here.” He nods and holds out a hoof to me ”I'll escort you to the barricade, sir.” I shook his hoof and followed him back to the battlements. The tension is palpable, but as we crossed the lines again, it seems to thin just a bit. I’m immediately approached by the nervous captain I had spoken with before, looking more distraught than ever. ”Sir? I've drawn up a plan for a full out assault, we can have their lines broken inside a few hours.” I chastened him with a dismissive gesture, a modicum of my earlier cynicism returning. “No need, captain. I just need some parchment, peace in our time and all that.” He let out a breath, visibly relieved by my words. ”Oh thank Celestia, I was praying that they would see reason. I was right to call you immediately, sir.” I gave the white stallion a withering gaze, and addressed him with a note of aggression in my tone. “You wouldn't have needed to call me if you'd listened to orders. I said a section of military police, not a fucking platoon of regular infantry. What on Gods green Earth was running through your goddamned head you idiot?” He balked and stared at his hooves, kicking at the cobblestones underhoof. ”I-I needed to ensure security sir. The Royal Guards are elite, they would have easily overpowered a mere section.” My voice rose, as did my temper, at the weak excuse. “They wouldn't have tried to resist, captain. If you had brought a force reasonable to your demands, they would have complied, but instead you brought overwhelming numbers and they took it to mean you were acting on your own!” The Captain stared up and me, quivering slightly. I had no sympathy for him. “You really are a sad excuse for an officer. I should have you shot for this! No, you know what? You’re done. As of today, you have been officially relieved, captain. Send for your former subordinate and go to deployment to be reassigned. I hope you can handle yourself on the battlefield better than this, because you won’t survive a day out there if you can’t even follow simple commands.” The Captains quivering had turned into a full blown shaking. I just continued. “Noble or not, I have no respect for someone so damned inept at his job. Get out of my fucking sight right now.” The captain looked up at me, his eyes large as dinner plates. ”B-but sir, I only did what I thought was necessary!” My cheek twitched as he continues to protest. How could he not understand that, whether here or on a battlefield, using too much wasn't always, or even usually, a good thing. Sending a battalion to attack a platoon would waste troops, ammunition, and time that could be better spent on different things. Perhaps though, the ponies in the troop assignment group could find a better fit for him. “Enough! You're dismissed. Get the hell out of here now.” He's finally silent, hanging his head low as he leaves the command center. The room is silent as they watched him go, and as the door shuts there are nervous looks all around. Looks like they never expected me to be capable of such a tirade. Or they didn’t expect me to strip someone of all rank immediately. Or maybe this pony was a well known noble who they expected me to care for. Whatever they thought, it didn’t matter. I massaged my temples, trying to ease the sudden pressure I was feeling behind my eyes. An odd, leathery flapping made my ears perk, and I looked around the room for the source. When I didn’t find the source, I began speaking with a random soldier near me. “Trooper, can you send for someone from the foreign ministry? I need an unbiased pony to witness these negotiations, otherwise I'm certain somepony is going to make a greater fuss than before with this.” The flapping sounds again, and I’m able to zero in on the source above me. A pair of yellow eyes with slitted pupils stared down from the rafters above my head, and I started for my gun at the sudden appearance. An assassin? Right now? There couldn’t be worse timing. But as I was pulling out my pistol, I recognized it as the shape of a pony. A pair of dark, leathery wings unfolded and the bat pony dropped gracefully to the floor in front of me. He bowed low before me as he speaks up in a rasping voice. ”My lord Anonymous, please allow me to bear witness to thy negotiations. I can substitute as a third party, and we have interests in these proceedings as well.” My words failed me for a long moment. It was the first time I had actually seen one of Luna's guards, unlike the Royal Guards, the Thestral Wardens acted subtly and used more subversive methods to ensure security of their princess. There were many rumours about them, from their being able to turn invisible, to them eating meat. The only clear thing about them was that they unnerved regular ponies, but right now I felt more curious than fearful. Mainly because if he tried anything hostile, he would be killed by me or one of the many soldiers in the tent with me. “And what is your name, warden?” He rises and grins, baring the fangs that had such a fearsome reputation. “My name is Dusk Echo, lord. I am the one appointed as liaison by the Unseen. Please lord, allow me to accompany you and ensure your safety through these trials.” It doesn't take me long to consider the offer. After all, this was a group of ponies that I hadn't seen before, let alone had time to speak with and understand. And his appearance would be likely to dissuade any opposition to the terms I would set down. “Very well, Dusk, let's be on our way.” Without another word, the two of us departed to cross the lines once more. Out of the frying pan, into the fire. When we entered the barracks again, I took a bit of satisfaction from seeing Buckler flinch at the sight of Echo. But for his part, the bat pony merely grins and addresses the watch commander in his raspy voice. ”Good day to you, watch commander. And how are you, in this hour of fading light?” He had a strange, rather esoteric way of speaking. Formal and oddly poetic, it seemed to serve as a counterpoint to his savage appearance. Like Frankenstein from the old books I remembered from Earth. And it seemed to work at unnerving my diplomatic partner, so without acknowledging it in any blatant way, I merely sat at the table. “Well then, shall we begin Mr. Buckler?” I forwent his title deliberately, making it clear the position he was in. My slight against him doesn't go unnoticed, but the guard takes his own seat, accompanied by a young looking officer. Perhaps his aide, or the only other officer here, I thought to myself as they leaned over the tabletop. But when they spoke, they didn’t address me, to my surprise. “Warden Echo, what a pleasant surprise that you would be joining these negotiations. You're here as a witness, I presume?” His tone indicated anything but warm feelings. But Echo, to his credit, responds in a far more gentle tone than I would have thought. ”Partially, watch commander. But also I come to negotiate the position of the Thestral Wardens and communicate the desires of my superiors. Consider me as a witness and an interested party, if you would.” Both the guards furrow their brows, and the younger one bursts out. “That's unacceptable! These negotiations are between the Royal Guard and the military alone!” The three of us shot him withering gazes, not even his commander appreciated the sentiment it seemed. Clearing his throat, Buckler speaks up as his colleague sits abashedly. ”Yes well, this is most unexpected. But be mindful warden, these are primarily to determine the state of affairs of the current situation. I would request you do not try and turn this to selfish objectives.” Echo's grin only widens further. ”I would never dream of it, watch commander. My interests lie solely with the best interests of Equestria as a whole.” The way he says it is unnerving, even to me. It sounded almost as though there was a sinister edge to his voice, but if Buckler had detected it, he made no comment on it. Instead, he fixes his gaze on me. ”I do hope there will be no more...surprises.” I smiled warmly at the officers and showed them my open palms. “Not at all, Mr. Buckler. I simply believed it would be a fine idea to have an impartial witness to the proceedings.” He stared at me with a fiery gaze. Either furious at my idea of an impartial witness or certain I was lying to his face. Frankly, it didn’t matter which one he thought. “So then, you agree that the Royal Guard, as it is today, shall be placed under the command structure of the military. Furthermore, a full investigation of the ponies involved in the assault on the ambassador will be conducted and you ensure the full cooperation of your stallions in said investigation.” Buckler furrowed his brow and shot a gaze at the younger guard beside him to keep the junior quiet. ”Yes, as I said it's distasteful but I can agree to it. In return, you promise fair treatment and light punishment for those involved in this unfortunate scuffle. As I stated before, they only had the interests of their fellow guards at heart. I assume of course that, as a branch of the Guard, the Thestral Wardens shall be incorporated into the military structure as well.” I hadn't actually thought of that before sitting at the table. It would make sense of course, putting them into the intelligence branch would be an incredible asset for the troops on the ground. Night reconnaissance, I began thinking. Perhaps they might even train some units to specialize in night fighting, or clandestine operations, or who knows what. My own little green berets. My train of thought was interrupted by Echo clearing his throat. ”That is, in fact, why I've come to this discussion. By the nature of our organization, to become part of the military would be exceedingly troublesome. Without revealing any dangerous information, we require the freedom of our own command structure to be as effective as we are.” I looked over at the bat pony, not expecting him to chime in so quickly. But out of the corner of my eye, I saw Buckler fuming as Echo continued. ”As per our previous agreement with Her Majesty Princess Celestia, we desire to retain our autonomy from the bureaucracy that can hobble other organizations. And in return, we shall of course continue to serve in the capacity we already do.” Buckler slammed his hooves down on the table, startling me and drawing Echo's full attention. ”Absolutely unacceptable! The Royal Guard has served the princess for millenia, through the most troubling times in our history. Our proud heritage dates even prior to the Wardens existing, and yet you would deny us the self-same treatment as you? Unthinkable, it would be a deplorable stab in the back!” Echo's smile doesn't falter and he keeps an even tone as he responds. ”On the contrary, it would merely be upholding agreements that were put in place for the betterment of all Equestria.” Buckler began to grind his teeth together, and his subordinate speaks up in his place. ”Is that what you call being allowed to slink around in the dark, cutting deals that would never be allowed, and 'disappearing' anypony that tries to stop you? At the very least, WE protect ponies and ensure proper security. You and your ilk are just a criminal gang that happens to work with the government.” The only sign of his annoyance is a twitch in Echo's cheek. His tone has lost any semblance of respect and carries a midnight chill when he retorts. ”You may think of us what you wish, but do not dare question our dedication to ensuring the safety of Equestria and the princesses. Your beliefs of our activities are irrelevant so long as you understand we are your allies.” As Buckler opened his mouth to continue, I felt that this had gone on long enough already. “Enough! We’ve strayed far enough from the topic at hand already. I believe some form of autonomy is permissible, Echo, but I would like to foster cooperation as well. Perhaps the devotion of a full team of Wardens to liaise with different levels of government and military?” Echo's brow furrowed in thought, but Buckler shouts in exclamation before he can offer a response. “You can't seriously be considering this, Anonymous! These...these creatures fought on the side of Nightmare Moon in the rebellion! They caused havoc for Equestria for nearly three centuries after, there's no way they can be trusted without heavy oversight!” Echo's gaze turns thoughtful as he replies to Buckler, his tone not carrying the same edge it had before. ”It is true, we fought on the side of our princess. And would you not have done the same, had Celestia raised your kin from ash and ruin? Unlike you, our oath is in our very blood, not words on parchment. I could no more betray the lunar princess than you could become an alicorn, watch commander. But the fact of the matter is we were welcomed back into the fold by Princess Celestia, and absolved of the crimes of our fathers. And now we come in an attempt to ensure a peaceful resolution to your own rebellion against the crown and you believe we work against you? Not even Discord is so mad.” This was going nowhere fast. The two guards shout over each other at the bat pony, who simply endures the tirade with a neutral mask on his face Evidently, bringing Echo in had been a giant mistake, but at the same time did the liaison of the sister unit to the Royal Guard not deserve to be privy to this? Perhaps it was just the stress of the situation, but there's no doubt the guards were overreacting to his mere presence. Before long, I tired of the petty insults that the shouting has devolved into. I slammed a closed fist down on the table, silencing their bickering in an instant. “Enough! Watch commander, while I can appreciate how you feel to a degree, I don't think you understand just how little room to bargain you have. And what little you have is rapidly being burned away by your petty whining. I will give you one more chance; accept the terms as they have been laid out or you will no longer be considered anything more than seditious elements to be eradicated. And believe me, you WILL be eradicated if you do not sign this deal” I saw the understanding and fear dawn in the eyes of the young officer, an officer cadet I noted, finally recognizing his rank. Buckler's face twisted in a series of emotional displays, but finally settles into a scowl of defiance. I felt a pang in my heart as he gave his answer, filled with venom and vitriol. ”So be it. I'll not stand by while my brothers are thrown aside like livestock. All Equestria shall know of the discord you spread amongst even the tightest ranks, Anonymous. I pray that peace never visits you and every victory turns to ash in your mouth. You're not fit to even speak the name of Princess Celestia, much less take her throne. You are nothing but a tyrant playing leader. Begone.” Oh… So that’s what it would be then. Fine. In silence, me and Echo rose and left the room. As I crossed the lines for the last time, my heart was heavy. Everything had been going as well as it possibly could, I had never expected letting in one pony could have such an impact. It wasn’t hard to find blame in Echo and his sudden appearance, but I couldn't let blame rest entirely with him. I was certain that I could have found an acceptable deal for all parties involved I knew it. But I hadn't, I’d lost my temper, and let my anger consume me into delivering an ultimatum that would make even the griffons balk. And instead of having the desired effect of cowing Buckler, it had hardened his heart. So it is that I found myself back in the command room, my head in my hands, with a crowd of soldiers and officers waiting to hear my words. And I had no idea what to say. Negotiations had fallen through. There was no choice but to exterminate these rebels before word could spread. God help us all.