Anon's Detour

by NeonDF

Chapter 6

Licking orange juice off of his fingers, Anon considered his next move. With food and shelter secured, the next immediate need was a source of fresh water. Not because he felt particularly thirsty after the sudden feast, but rather so he could wash off the sugary stickiness reaching up to the elbows.

There was nothing that constituted as source of water in the area, so his best bet was exploring the first floor. Untangling himself from underneath the awkwardly low table took a bit, and once Anon rose up and stretched his legs he made his way back downstairs.

After clearing the ceiling, he came to a particularly strange sight. There, near the chamber exit, stood the pony who led him here, and it was chatting with a weird lizard creature somewhat resembling a chubby velociraptor that stood on its back legs, had purple scales and green fins on its head, spine and tail.

Startled by the scene, Anon missed a step and let out a curse once his foot failed to connect with solid matter. Stumbling the rest of the way down and shoulder-checking the wall at the end, he hissed in pain and glanced back at the creatures. The ruckus attracted their attention, so both the pony and the lizard ceased whatever they were doing and now were silently watching him. Feeling a bit embarrassed, Anon pushed off of the wall, leaving an off-color palm print on the wood, and set off towards the door underneath the stairway. The two kept watching him like hawks, and feeling the silence get a bit awkward, Anon tried to break the ice.

“Uh, don’t mind me. I’m just… looking for a bathroom.”

The creatures blinked, tilted their heads, and then the lizard turned back to the pony and let out a grunt. Anon, sensing the spaghetti vacating his pockets at an alarming rate, dashed towards the door, grabbed the knob which was positioned way too low for his comfort, pulled the door open, ducked and stepped inside.

What met him was a small and surprisingly mundane kitchen. The opposite wall was occupied by a giant window which let in the sunshine falling on the table underneath. In the left corner there was a staircase leading down to the basement flanked by an old-looking fridge, and to the right there was another door adjacent to a countertop which contained a kitchen sink and a modern electric stove with a cooker hood over it.

Anon made his way towards the sink. It was a bit too low for his comfort, so he had to bend a bit before turning on the faucet, grabbing a nearby bar of soap and scrubbing his arms clean. He then bent even further and washed his face, opportunistically took a few gulps of the tap water, turned off the faucet and grabbed a towel conveniently hanging nearby.

Drying off his face and arms, Anon considered what to do next. In order to get back home, if he could, he would first have to figure out where he ended up. So, it’s either going outside and looking for road signs and address plates, rooting through the house for clues or getting his smartphone charged and utilizing the inbuilt GPS. The first option was out: there was definitely something off with the outside world, including a total lack of roads which are the usual requirement for the road signs to appear. The second option was also out: whoever the owner was, they’re unlikely to appreciate him rummaging through their stuff. So, charging the smartphone it is.

Feeling sufficiently dry, Anon hung the towel back up and turned around only to see both creatures standing in the doorway and watching him with strange expressions on their faces.

“What, never seen a man wash?”

The stares continued. Potential aliens or not, it was starting to get on his nerves. Walking towards the doorway and stopping in front of the two, Anon raised his arms and made a shooing motion.

“Come on, shoo. Nothing to see here.”

No reaction. Feeling out of options, Anon decided to risk it and try the same tactic he used to use with the parents’ dog when it was too nosy. He raised his hand, which caused both creature’s attention to immediately snap to it. They followed with their gazes as he slowly moved his hand towards the mare’s face and after a moment of hesitation placed it on the pony’s muzzle, which made her eyes cross and widen as she tried to focus on it. The fur was soft as silk and pleasantly warm, which took Anon by surprise, so he had to momentarily collect his thoughts before proceeding with the plan. With a gentle but steady push, he moved the mare’s muzzle to the side, only by a few inches at first, then by a foot, then by two, until the mare had to take a few steps back to regain her footing.

Satisfied with his work, Anon turned away from the mare who kept the crossed-eye look and then went back into the kitchen in search of a power outlet and a USB charger. The former was bound to show up in a kitchen, and as far as he was concerned people often leave their chargers in easily accessible places, so the latter might be found there too.

Unexpectedly, the entire kitchen had no outlets. Anon checked the oven, the cooker hood, the fridge – whatever wiring they used seemed to have been masterfully hidden in walls somehow. Which on the second thought was not that surprising considering the quality of interior design so far. The only exception was the fridge that looked a couple decades older than everything else in there, but that could’ve been the owner’s eccentric taste. Or they simply employed a servant and never had to see the kitchen for themselves.

Undeterred, Anon decided to look back in the main chamber and upstairs. Walking out of the doorway and past the mare who was busy snorting and pawing at her muzzle with her foreleg, he entered the room and examined it. The table in the center had a few vases with flowers on it, the coat rack near the entrance had a single yellow raincoat, a nearby dresser had a sunhat resting on it. And books, books everywhere. Every wall had entire bookcases carved in them, each niche filled to the top with books. Curiously, there were no knick-knacks and, more importantly, no power outlets.

The second floor was similar: only books, the table with the remains of his dinner and immaculate cleanness everywhere else. Anon was about to ascend further, to what he assumed was the bedroom floor, but then the pony trotted from behind him, stopped at the stairway leading up, turned to him, scrunched its face, plopped its hindquarters down on the stairs and snorted.

“Oh. I’m not supposed to go up there, I take it?”

The pony just snorted again. That must’ve been a confirmation. Feeling somewhat indignant at being denied his current course of action by a tiny colored horse of all things, Anon put his hands on his sides and leaned forward a bit, looming over the thing, causing its ears to flatten backwards.

“Well, won’t you perhaps know where I can get my phone charged?”

The pony just kept still, silently looking at him. A few seconds later, it seemed to relax, its ears standing at attention, and then it just tilted its head and let out a nicker.

“My phone. You know, this thing.”

He put his hand in the pocket and fished out his smartphone, showing the dead piece of electronics to the pony and shaking it a couple times for the good measure.

“My. Phone. Where can I get it charged?”

The creature seemed to have lost all signs of fear at that point. Eyes wide and focused on the black rectangle, it slowly stood back to the four legs and took a hesitant step forward, craning its neck towards the smartphone and sniffing at the thing. Amused by the sudden reaction, Anon waved his hand around, only for the mare to match his movements to a tee, tracking the smartphone with her snout with an uncanny precision.

“Oh, you like it? Well, check this out!”

Shuffling his fingers for a bit, Anon found the power button and pressed it. The screen lit up, showing the familiar frowny face with an empty battery. The mare’s eyes widened further, and Anon felt some unseen force rip the smartphone out of his grip.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Uh oh.

Pinkies doozy just made Sugarcube Corner look more like a sugar frosting blast zone?

Everypone PANIC. Twilights gone SCIENCE.

Halt the three ring circus, Close all shops in the Mall.

Duck.

[Ralanost]

And the human is about to have a rude awakening. Nothing we know of can explain magic. He has got to come to the realization that he isn't on Earth after this. Right?

[Starlight Nova]

Cover image has been slightly edited to make Derpy's speech illegible.

Why would you do that?

[StarzGecko]

Oh man, now I want more

[StarzGecko]

Shuffling his fingers for a bit, Anon found the power button and pressed it. The screen lit up, showing the familiar frowny face with an empty battery. The mare’s eyes widened further, and Anon felt some unseen force rip the smartphone out of his grip.

That’s how Anon lost his hand ✋

[Moonlight_Mist]

11503277
Just got here, so not sure if it was addressed in a later chapter's comment section, but Derpy in the cover art is just asking Anon how his day's been. As in, it literally translates to 'How's your day been, Anon?' It's in Webdings.