//------------------------------// // (Weiss Report) Bug Out Bag [Wannabeetles] // Story: The Unique Properties of Dark Magic // by Shadestyle //------------------------------// Twilight asked me about these, so I put special focus on translating this entry. I suppose, after a thousand years, Wannabeetles would be unrecognizable after the amount of breeding they've underwent. Weiss must have either had some preserved, or used feral ones for his own monsters, judging from how much smaller they are than the modern breeds. Ahh, those creatures. Very cute, I remember when they were that small. If only I had known the smaller ones still existed, before Blueblood demanded one for a pet. The dreadful bug has a nasty habit of trying to steal the maid uniforms from storage. Entry Number Fourteen, Day One-hundred and Seventy These fucking bugs drive me to drink. So, apparently, the only thing you need for an infestation of Wannabeetles is warmth, food, and empty anthropomorphic equipment. Although, I guess it isn't anthropomorphic. Equipomorphic? Whatever. People-Shaped. These fucking bugs infest anything that isn't alive, is hollow on the inside, can articulate, and is people-shaped. What turns them from a nuisance to a major threat is that they also try to act the part. On a wedding dress? Kind of creepy. On a gigantic mechanized golem? Not exactly "Bugs" creepy, more like "Terrifying rampaging golem" creepy. But that's a story for another time. Right now, I've managed to tame the little buggers. Well, I've managed to exploit them, anyway. You can't really tame bugs. The easiest way to prevent the bugs from becoming a problem is that I've started including sleepy closed eyes on all of my creations. Either carved into their heads, to make it look like they're asleep, or sewn into the fabric, if the object is an article of clothing. If any Wannabeetles try to inhabit it, and act like they think it's supposed to, the object will just act as though it's trying to fall asleep. Problem solved, spray the object with bugspray, and get em out of there. Of course, that's just getting rid of them. And we all know by know that I'm more apt to exploit something than to simply get rid of it. So, I've decided to steal, well, actually, a bunch of stuff uses the classic "Bugs inhabiting clothing" meme, so I guess I'm not stealing this one? Well, I'm heavily inspiring myself with the Scarecrows from Devil May Cry. Just take some burlap, strap blades to it, and let those bugs have at it. A hidden golem flap on the inside controls whether they're awake or asleep by opening or closing a set of fake eyes sewn into them whenever they receive a specific command. The main flaw of this is that these Scarecrows can be easily shut down if someone tricked the bugs themselves into thinking the command was sent. They'll just fall right asleep if you tell them to do so with enough confidence and authority. Luckily, who's going to think to do that when they're being bared down on by a flipping insane clownbag with guillotine arms? Nobody sane enough to get through any of my other defenses, that's who. Now, you might be asking "Burlap Sacks and scythes? Weiss that's not aesthetic enough!" And you're absolutely right. Which is why I've also started keeping empty suits of Shadow Guard Armor in all the tunnels. Ones enchanted with black flame charms. In an emergency, bugs can flood the armor suits and take them over, while the black flames burn away any bugs that don't want to play ball and protect us. Wannabeetles are extremely good at mimicry, at least in raw power and rough behavior. Their skills leave a lot to be desired, planting them firmly in the "Cheap Throwaway Minions" bin. Luckily for these pests, that bin is one of my favorites. As for managing the bugs, I've had my best doctor on the matter. We've developed a special modified form of Sombra's Corrupt Crystal Growth, which produces Black Crystal Sap that, when put in the Wannabeetle's food, helps us control and manipulate the bugs. We've started some minor experiments in seeing just how far we can take this, and I've brought in a specialist named "Iridescent Shell", who is apparently the mare who brought the bugs into the Shadow Realm in the first place. She'll be helping us with selectively breeding the bugs for obedience and friendliness. I swear to god, though, if these end up being like dogs, and we've just got like, children's toys walking around everywhere, I'm out. Animate bug-filled monsters I can handle, animate bug-filled plushy toys trying to hug you? Nope. Too far. It's not like the Shadow Realm can become more infested with the bugs, so finding a use for them is more cost effective than trying to eradicate them. By combining Wannabeetles with empty shells, I can create minions much more cheaply than by using true golems to control and empower them. When it comes to quality, however, an enchanted golem still wins out in all respects. Speed, strength, intelligence. If you want something done almost right, you almost do it yourself. In combat, sometimes you just need bodies. So many of them, and all of them cheap. By cultivating Wannabeetles with my own blend of dark magic, I believe I can obtain those bodies. And as the materials I have to work with grow, so too will the shells of my beloved trash mobs. Now I just need to make sure that the Shadow Realm is bug-proofed where it needs to be, and I might actually get something useful out of this whole mess with a bit more experimentation. I'm especially interested in just how much I can tweak the behavior of a mass of Wannabeetles, based on the shell I provide for them to inhabit. Maybe if I dressed up the shell, I could grant them limited skills of some sort? Or I could try combining their shells with golemancy, to create novel golem behavior. The flaw of a golem is that, against the wrong opponent, it can become predictable. Wannabeetles may be able to defeat this limitation. The entry mentions a story. Did something happen before this? There is, but I've only heard it secondhand. I would have to ask Luna about what exactly happened. I'll be sure to do so, as soon as I finish cleaning stardust out of my mane.