Final Deception
It didn't take long for Jade and the others to get Jackie away from Ratso and his goons. However, Jackie had bad news for them. "My other half...I think he plans to attack the Dark Hand en masse all by himself!"
"He could probably pull it off," Scootaloo pointed out dryly.
"But what if he kills someone?" Sweetie Belle asked worriedly. "If Jackie gets all the memories when they combine back together, he'll never be able to live with himself!"
"And what if he hurts Tohru?" Apple Bloom added. "Or if Tohru hurts him?"
"So we need to get to Section 13, put Nice Jackie's Talisman half into the vault for safe keeping, and call in the backup," Jade concluded. "Audrey, tell me you got one of your thorns on both Jackies."
"You can count on me like one two three," Audrey III sang out happily.
"But how do you plan to explain this to him?" Jackie asked as he gave Jade his Talisman half. "Augustus still doesn't believe in magic!"
"We could...have you stay outside?" Jade suggested thoughtfully. "Not mention the whole 'two of you' thing."
"But what if Gruff Jackie shows up while we're getting backup?" Sweetie Belle asked. "All well and good if he's okay, but our credibility will be shot."
Jade tapped her chin. "I...think I have an idea..."
Captain Black blinked in surprise as Jade ran into his office, followed by her cousins and Jackie. "Captain Black! Jackie's attacking the Dark Hand headquarters solo!"
Captain Black blinked for a time. "Uh...do you have your tenses crossed, or...?" He pointed to where Jackie was plainly in the office.
"Oh, not me!" Jackie offered sweetly. "My other half. The Tiger Talisman split me in two!"
Captain Black groaned. "Not more of this 'magic' nonsense..."
"RRGH!" Jade finally snapped. "It's not nonsense! There's magic all around you and you've been to blind to see it! The Talismans all have magic, the Dragon Talisman fireblasted you, the Rat Talisman led to a huge Cthuhlu vs Audrey Kaiju battle in San Fransisco Bay, ninjas made of living shadow have backed up the Dark Hand agents on numerous occasions, and my cousins are candy colored magical talking ponies from another dimension but you aren't even aware of it because they have magical pendants that make anyone who looks at them see them as normal, despite the fact one of them rides a tame cloud, one rides a singing plant out of a B horror film, and one's a freaking unicorn!" She took a few calming breaths. "What part of that sounds like nonsense?"
Captain Black chuckled as he ruffled Jade's hair. "Got quite the imagination on you, squirt," he observed playfully. "You ought to get into fiction. That sounds like it would make a good story(1)." He leaned back in his chair...then froze. "Jackie...how are you also over there?" He pointed to where Chan had just walked by with a tackle box.
The group spun. "My other half!" Jackie called out, rushing forward. "You're al-"
"Don't touch me!" Chan snarled, pushing him back. "I don't want to have anything to do with you ever again!"
Captain Black stepped up. "Alright, one of you tell me what's going on before you both go under-"
"Nap Time," Chan stated as he grabbed Captain Black's shirt, pulled him forward, and slammed his forehead into the other man's. Captain Black fell back, unconscious.
Jackie gasped in shock. "Knocking out our friend is not nice!" he called out chidingly.
"Oh shut up," Chan growled. "Now where's your half of the Tiger?"
"But I don't want to be one again!" Jackie complained.
"No more do I, but full payment's for ten, not nine and a half."
Jade gasped in shock. "You...you're stealing the Talismans to sell them to the Dark Hand?"
"And now you know why I knocked out Black here," Chan growled angrily. "He'd have kicked up the same fuss you all are."
"I can't let you do that!" Jackie spoke up, shifting into a combat stance. "If the Dark Hand gets all 12...bad things could happen!"
Chan spat to the side as he dropped the tackle box. "I get to beat you up, too? It must be my birthday." He too took a combat stance, one much more aggressive than Jackie had. "I'm going to enjoy this..."
As the four girls watched in shock, the two Jackies lunged for each other. Jackie fought more defensively than he normally did, apparently trying to make his opponent wear himself down and use the environment to his advantage, showing much more use of Aikido than he normally did. Chan, on the other hand, fought very aggressively, lunging in with powerful strikes in an attempt to disable or break his opponent, drawing heavily from Krav Maga. Despite the difference in styles, they continued to be evenly matched, the fight taking them all across the office and wrecking the furniture as it was used as makeshift weaponry.
Jade swallowed as she glanced between the fight, the tackle box, and her shoe. With luck, Chan put his half of the Talisman in there. If she could just put the Talisman back together-
"Vulture steals kill!" Hak Foo suddenly shouted out as he snatched the tackle box from the floor after dropping down from the ceiling, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. He then unlimbered what looked like Section 13 weaponry, apparently having liberated it before coming here. "Osprey snatches four fish!" he cried out as he fired a net from the weapon, trapping all four girls in it as they were yanked away. "Skunk discourages pursuit!" he proclaimed as he hurled what looked like a grenade into the room. It went off in a flash of light and released noxious smoke. As Jackie and Chan coughed and Audrey groaned weakly, Hak Foo spoke normally. "I'll be taking these girls...to make sure you two behave..."
"JACKIE!" all four girls called out despairingly as the smoke cleared, leaving Jackie and Chan alone in the chamber with a partially wilted Audrey and an unconscious Captain Black.
(1) Wrenched my shoulder just a bit here. :P
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Yo, Hak! I got one for ya!
FOOL ANGERS TIGER BROTHERS! You gonna get whooped, son!
That said, Aikido and Krav Maga? Beautiful and deadly dance with those styles. Let's see what happens when the Raging Tiger has backup from the Sleeping Dragon that is his other half! My money's on the Chans! All of 'em!
Ha, top comment!
Edit: Gahh. Still a good chapter, though.
... Hak... Why?!?
Hasn't Uncle proven to you that you might actually be in over your head when dealing with the chan family?
7826988
Agreed on ALL counts there man. If anything, they would probably end up traumatizing Hak Foo so badly, that he will NEVER want to mess with them again.
Even when he gets turned into that "magical super ninja" by the Dark Chi Sorcerer. Dao Long Wong I think his name was.
And also, I think this will help Jackie make peace with himself, his past AND his inner demons, which would make him a greater fighter, person, and turn him into a greater role model.
Oh, Hak Foo. He gets an A for effort, but still...bad decision.
Holy shit.
showing much more use of Aikido than Chan, who on the other hand
7827081
Actually, three words somehow got deleted. Fixed.
well wheres the popcorn the chans and the mountain that is tohru gonna make hak into a hackie sac
I...think i have an idea...
1. Forgot to capitalise.
Let's hope our little heroine didn't feel too Jaded at Augustus' quip. As always, tit for Tat(surou).
Hak Foo just netted himself a one-way ticket on the pain train.
Let's hope that Augustus isn't too broke on the furniture when he wakes up.
Hak Foo is asking to be hospitalized ...again
oh hak foo. ill honestly be surprised if not so good jackie doesn't leave him an armless, legless stump.
Hak Foo is going to have problems... Not only with Jackie, but Tohru already give him a ultimatum last time he tried something with them.
And Hak Foo just set himself up for a huge kick in the head. By everyone!!
I'm suddenly reminded of a comment I made about Tohru way back during the kaiju fight , went something along the lines of I pity the fool that threatens his little sister? Hak already got a taste, guess he wanted more.
At last, exclusive proof that Hak Foo has the survival instinct of a suicidal lemming.
Oh boy, this isn't good...
Oh good lord...that was such a stupid idea on Hak Foo's part. And with what we've seen of him, I expect that Valmont told Hak to follow Jackie but taking the girls is going off-script. This Valmont seems much more savvy than his canon incarnation and so I half expect the Chans to arrive to find Tohru holding Hak while Valmont berates him. He already knows how dangerous Jackie gets if the girls are in danger, and has shown himself wise enough to not push that button again....at least so far.
A man in a dapper outfit approached Hak Foo and took out a measuring tape and began to measure the man much to his confusion. "Uh Hak Foo no needs a suit" he said unsurely, but assuming the man was trying to sell him a suit or something.
The man gave a cheerful smile "Why I am not measuring you for a suit" he relied as he continued his work.
"Your not?" Hak Foo replied tilting his head then asking "Then what are you measuring Hak Foo for?"
"Why your casket of course" was the mans cheerful reply as he took out a business card reading "Darwin's Caskets, We build em you use em"
7827391
If Tohru finds him first, it may be through the head.
Hak Foo, you done f
ed up...
Chapter Seventy Five
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 39
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 70
Oh, you poor (Hak) Fool
What will it take for Augustus to believe in magic!?
and so hak foo's chances of living drop to zero.
Hak-Foo I had hopes he would be a Scootaloo brother figure in the future but he seems to be hurting his chances. Well maybe it'll go well with the others.
Talismans 12 in Dragon claw checkmates Revenge Chan. Hak Foo has the advantage as he stunned the Chan twins and is on his way back to his head quarters where Shendu is. Shendu is on alert with the Shadow Kahn on their turf.
It is up to the girls now I think, they are something Mr. demon dragon fears, and Hak Foo's real mistake.
Just my opinion...
7826994
Hak Foo: Darwinian evolution at work.
Valmont only has one real option left: double the check, give it to the girls, and shoo them out the door as quickly as posable. Chances of that actually happening: -3%
Hak Foo is so dead. He definitely gets points for going to grab the girls and disable Audrey, but now both Jackies will be concentrating on giving him an ass whooping!
...good going, numb skulls. Guzma got the Pokémon.
Well Hak didn't actually harm them just disarm them of sorts which means Tohru isn't going to be too angry just peeved while Valmont might just freak out royally
7831452 Hak foo now has two pissed jackies and tohru after him good going moron
7835926 Oh yeah still a Hak Fool just not near as much as previously now Tohru is probably going to punch Hak into a wall before offering milk and cookies to the currently captive girls. While Valmont tries as he may to spin this in his favor with the Jackies so not to have two angry talisman fueled Chans out for his head.
That was a very efficient interruption by Hak Foo. It'll probably end fairly painfully for him long-term, but a pretty clear short-term success.
Krav Maga is not actually a fighting style or a martial art. It's just what the Israeli army calls its close combat training. It makes about as much sense as saying he's drawing from CQC, except this one is not fictional.
7836467
He already worked out that detail if he stays clear of the fight ‘black’ jackie will just target hak foo while ‘white’ jackie will try to save the girls.
Hmm, why do i feel the sudden need to appear in Dark Hand Headquarters? Shendu isn't dead and i usually leave bad guys to my minions. *checks situation* Oh, wow, this looks like it will need my personal touch. Even my best minion might not be able to find all the pieces.