• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,156 Views, 1,145 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

  • ...

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 72 - A Baby Dragon's Help

When you reappeared back in Town Hall, or what you thought was Town Hall, you actually found yourself in a rather warped version of Ponyville. Actually, it looked like when Discord took it over back in season 2. The hell was all this?! “Da fuck? Is this a joke?” You asked yourself aloud as you looked upon the upside down Town Hall that floated over you. The grass was all checkerboard, the day and night cycles were rapidly changing, and all the other cottages and houses were topsy turvy. “What the hell happened while I was gone?”. Things were so surreal, were you dreaming, or were you in some sort of pocket space? You could just assume Discord did something assholish just because he was ticked he had to make friends with Scootaloo, but why send you here?

“C’mon, this is so fUUCKKAAAAHH!” When you took a step forward, you also somehow forgot that the road below you was made of slippery soap, at least when it pertained back to Season 2. You try to keep your balance, but all you do is slip and slide around the chaotic touched town until you end up slipping on your face and sliding forward a some yards into the center of town.

After a few moments, you end up slamming your head into something hard, making you come to a complete stop. While your head was certainly fine from such a smash, you found your mouth literally washed out with soap, its nasty and cleansing taste causing you to raise your head and spit up profusely. “OH GOD! IT TASTES LIKE TURD SOCKS! IT’S SOAP! HOW DOES IT EVEN TASTE LIKE THAT?!” You screamed to yourself as you spit and sputtered to get the gross taste off your tongue.

As you sat there, rubbing your tongue with your hooves, you began to notice both a hooven leg and a dragon like one attached to a long torso. In fact, as you looked up, you saw Discord sitting on the same throne he had in Season 2. Or rather, it was Discord’s clone, number Five, sitting upon the throne, looking upon you with a slick smile. Why was he smiling like that? Why did he have a throne? Unless…

OH SHIT! HE WENT ROGUE AND SUDDENLY TOOK OVER PONYVILLE! Why would he do this? No seriously, why? You had no clue since the fucker never talked, but whatever it was, this was going too far. You hopped back to prepare yourself for combat, only to slip back onto the road and slide backwards on your belly, screaming as you span like a top back across the road until you slammed onto a wall on the side of a twisted building. “G-guh… Dammit, good thing nopony is looking at me right now…”

“Actually, Anon, we kinda totally saw you right now. And uh, listen bro, not to sound like a jerk, but that was pretty funny.” You heard the voice of a familiar young dragon speaking to you some laughter following.

Wha? When you raised your head, you could see Spike, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Babs, and Trixie sitting on chairs, facing the direction of Five’s throne as if they were watching a show. “Huh, wha?! What’s going on?! And what do you mean funny?! Don’t you see one of my dad’s clone just went on a power trip?”

“Yes, Anon…” Trixie said said with an impatient sigh “It’s part of the show. Not as good as any of Trixie’s shows mind you, but decently entertaining.”

Show? Decently entertaining?! Fuck her! You didn’t know what was going on, but you knew the wedding, especially your vow, was more entertaining than the fall of Equestria, or her stupid magic shows. The fuck was she on?! The fuck any of them were on?! “First of all, that’s factually wrong. Second of all, you slept through my fake wedding! Which, by the way, was better than an entire town BEING TWISTED INTO CHAOS!”

“Factually wrong?!” Trixie hopped off her chair and stepped up to you in an imposing manner “I’ll have you know that Trixie’s shows are as amazing as they are powerful! In addition…” Trixie faltered a little as she came to the realization that she did, in fact, sleep through your wedding. It filled her with guilt as she realized her second point wasn't so pointy. “I am sorry about that. Well, actually… I am sorry if you’ll be sorry about what you just said, about these two whatever clones’ play on when Discord was defeated by Twilight and her friends being better than my magnificent shows.”

Really? She’ll only apologize if you will? What kind of logic was that?! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE TOWN… Wait, what did she say? “Wait, a show on my dad’s defeat?” You look back to see Number Four, dressed as Twilight, and a bunch of puppets representing the rest of the five, step up to face off against Five. “This is a reenactment thing? Wha? Why?”

“I can answer that.” Sweetie Belle chimed in “Babs got curious as to why Discord lost in the first place, since he’s super powerful and stuff, it didn’t make sense to her.”

“Of course it doesn’t make sense. Nothing involving Twilight ever makes sense. Yes, she may be a good friend, but I swear she cheats at using magic sometimes. You all have noticed that, right?” Trixie says, calmed, sitting back on her seat as she looks on unimpressed. “Sometimes things seem to work for her for no good reason.”

“That’s because Twilight is actually really amazing at magic, Trixie. She’s studied and trained really hard to be as good as she is. You can’t just think you’re the best and then be the best, it doesn’t work like that. Also, you really should apologize to Anon. Sleeping through his wedding wasn’t cool, he has a pretty good reason to be mad at you.” Spike said, coming to your defense.

“Guh… Hmmm… I suppose that might be a reason. And…” Trixie sighs, and looks to you with a defeated yet softened look, her arrogance cut. “And I suppose that, perhaps, that was very rude of me. I’m sorry, I just… I was just very tired. And…” She takes a bigger breath, finding her next words difficult to muster “I guess, considering how everypony else reacted, that it was a wedding worth watching. I regret missing it. Is that, erm, enough an apology?” You could tell that she quickly realized that sleeping through a wedding, even a fake one, was fucking rude.

“Yeah…” You could be really mean, and point out she was still being an asshole by trying to ask if she was forgiven. But the fact she was right about Twilight pulling out some bullshit wins, and that she was tired as fuck to begin with, in addition with not wanting to cause a scene with anyone else, made you just take it as is. “It’s ok, Trixie. Just be more mindful, I guess.”

“Don’t wanna sound like a butt over here, but if you’re all through with the apologies, maybe we can all focus on the fact that things are about to get tossed. There’s gonna be a real bad rumble if this whole thing is as close to the real fight as possible. I don’t wanna miss a single buck!” Babs said in impatience and excitement, wanting to see the carnage that was about to commence between Four and Five.

Calmed, you just decide to sit down next to Spike and watch the show. Though you found it rather puzzling, you didn’t remember there being a slugfest or anything. No, that didn’t happen at all. Even in this ongoing reenactment, Four and the puppets just said the same lines Twilight once said as Five sat there boredly. And just like before, a rainbow shot up from the false elements and came down right upon Five, turning him to stone. “And so, with Discord’s defeat, Ponyville returned to its peaceful state once again. Returned to harmony thanks to Twilight and her friends.” Said Four in a narration that filled the air. Odd though, everything was still weird.

You leaned over to Spike and whispered "What gives, everything is still weird."

Spike just whispered back "Probably a budget thing."

Ok then...

Babs just sat there, stunned for a few moments. Finally, she threw out her hooves in discontent “Woah woah woah, are you kiddin’ me?! Where was the fight?! He just stood there and took a rainbow beam to the face! That’s now how it really happened, right?” Babs asked, massively disappointed with the results of said ‘fight’.

“Trixie only somewhat takes things back in the sense Trixie knows her shows were much better than that.” Trixie said, also quite befuddled on what happened.

“That’s really how it happened? I dunno, Discord always seemed like he was much smarter than that. Ah mean, how did he not notice Rainbow Dash was back with everypony else?” Applebloom asked, she herself confused on what happened. “Was he just dumb when he was a bad guy? Would explain the whole Tirek thing. Still, you'd think he notice his spell was broken.”

“I’m more confused on why he stood there. You don’t need to have reflexes like Rainbow Dash to dodge a Rainbow moving that slow.” Scootaloo too, was astonished on how bad Discord performed. “Did he not realize he could have won if he just, like, snapped his talons or whatever? Spike, you were there, did it really happen like that?”

“Pretty much. Discord is a great guy and all, but once he’s got something going, he doesn’t really know when it actually stops.” Spike answered “I mean, that’s not always a bad thing, as long as it has nothing to do with one of his mean jokes. When it has something to do with something great, like O&O, he turns it into something really amazing!”

You were kind of torn on this little debate. Discord could be an awful ass sometimes, but he could also be real cool. Really, it actually made you feel rather uncomfortable just talking to him in any negative light right now, he didn’t deserve it considering all the good he's done lately. “Yeah, Dad is super cool when he wants to be, that’s for sure. This just wasn’t one of his finer moments, that’s all. I dunno what it is about being evil, but it just makes you seem to miss things everypony else can see.”

“Does that mean he’s still evil then? Because WE can see how much he likes Fluttershy, but somehow he can't. Like, Anon, don’t you think it’d be cool to have Fluttershy as a mom?” Sweetie Belle asked, to the surprise of everyone there, causing you all to look at her with silent surprise. “What? I was just making an observation, it’s clear he really likes her.”

“Yeah, I was gonna bring that up to him at one point. But Discord can be pretty touchy about that kind of thing sometimes.” Spike said, being the least stunned from Sweetie’s words.

“Uh, don’t y’all think it's kind of weird to mention it at all? Discord is kinda scary, to be honest. I don’t think he’d be right for Fluttershy.” Applebloom mentioned, clearly not very well versed on how Discord truly cared about Fluttershy.

“Oh trust me, Dad is like a kitten when she’s around, he’ll do anything to gain her affection and praise, he just won’t admit to loving her, just liking her. Like it’s already been mentioned, Dad is cool to be around, especially once you understand how he works.” You then look to Scootaloo, knowing she’d have to figure that out in some sense “Scoots, you know what I mean by that, right?”

“Ugh… I guess. I dunno, Four and Five already mentioned why they can’t stick around, and that stinks. But I was thinking about it and I dunno if I want to be his friend. No offense to you or Spike or anything, but the guy is a jerk, and I’ve seen how he treats you sometimes. Even with Four and Five’s memories, how do I know he won’t treat me bad too?”

“Well, that depends on the kind of friend you are to him.” Said a voice that came from above all of you. You all look up to see Four and Five, back in their security costumes, as they began to hover down in front of the group. “Our originator, while loving to be himself as much as possible, does have that softer side he presents to Fluttershy. A side that only comes out due to the loving and gentle care she has for him. This is the opposite of the kind of friendship he has with Anon, as Anon himself can fully indulge in his love of chaos and can handle being duped, outwitted, or outright tricked.”

“Yeah, that sounds just ab- Hey! That doesn’t even happen! Dad rarely, if ever, gets the drop on me!” You barked back, not wanting to be made the fool. Though, it seems the group caught on to the fact it may be true, and had a small giggle over it.

“Well, I suppose that depends on how you define ‘rare’. Ah, but I can already see you getting more flustered, Anon, so let us change subjects. What did you think of the performance?” Four asked.

Four was right, you were indeed getting a little ticked at being made a fool. If he carried on like Discord would have, you would have… Well, you didn’t really have any dirt to spill on a clone, now did you? Ugh, sucks being the butt of the joke sometimes.

“Could have been better. With such a boring ending, Trixie much rather would have enjoyed Twilight suffer some sort of curse or something. You don't need to stick to a script all the time” Trixie stated, which actually seemed to get Spike a little upset.

“Yo, Trixie, what’s your problem with Twilight? She saved you from being controlled by some stupid amulet, you know that right? Also, if she did lose, Discord probably would have turned you into a pony-in-a-box.” Spike said, looking to Trixie with annoyance over her comment.

“A pony-in-a-box?” Trixie has a chuckle at that “Puuhhhlleeease, the Great and Powerful Trixie would not have succumbed to such a weak curse. I simply would have-” But no one was having any of that shit as you all furrowed your brows at her, causing her to get nervous. “Ok, fine, look, I don’t have THAT much of a problem with Twilight. I just get sick of hearing how good she is at magic and friendship all the time. I’ve made friends too, you know? There’s Anon, and Starlight, and… Uh… What are your names again?” Trixie pointed her right hoof to the CMC.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow at her “Really? You were hanging out with us the entire show.”

“That doesn’t mean I learned any of your names. The only thing I can remember about your name is that it has two syllables. Sweaty, I think your name was...” Trixie stated

Sweetie Belle just angrily narrowed her eyes at her “It’s Sweetie, my name is Sweetie Belle.”

“That can’t be right, that has three syllables.” Trixie said as she pondered on it.

Sweetie’s eyes nearly turned red from Trixie’s naivety. She didn’t like the fact that her name was being associated with disgusting perspiration “That’s because it IS three syllables! Do you think I wouldn’t know my own name?!” She squeaked out.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. Those two colts, Snips and Snails I think, had forgotten their names once or twice.” Trixie said


“I was merely speaking out of experience. It’s not as if that kind of thing doesn’t happe-GYAH!” Trixie suddenly finds herself falling back onto the ground, Sweetie Belle releasing a flying karate kick onto her face fueled by her own rage, catching everyone off guard.

“W-woah, Sweetie Belle. I uh…” Scootaloo went to check on Trixie, who was knocked out cold by Sweetie’s attack. “I think you knocked her out. Where did you even learn to do that? And uh…” Scootaloo noticed Trixie was muttering out nonsensical magic words or words implying she was trying to impress her father in some way “She gonna be alright?”

Five leaned down and raised Trixie by the back, placing his paw on her chest to check her heartbeat. After seeing it was fine, he gave a thumbs up to Four, with Four responding with “Seems she’ll be alright, just a physical hit to the face damaged her ego enough to knock her out for a spell, that's all.”

“Well, she deserved it, I think she was doing it on purpose!” Sweetie replied as she took deep breaths, trying to relax herself after such a high flying kick.

“I mean, maybe, ya still shouldn’t have done that.” Applebloom said as she looked over to the fallen mare, feeling kind of bad she got kicked so hard by such a dainty foal.

“I’m with Scootaloo though, how’d ya manage such a blockbusting kick?” Babs asked, perplexed by Sweetie’s show of finesse.

“Rarity kind of taught it to me. She said a lady needs to know how to defend herself against ‘uncouth barbarians’ and that sometimes we can’t be afraid to get our hooves dirty. I mean, I’m not afraid of getting them dirty anyway, so it was pretty easy and…” When Sweetie looked down to see what she had actually done, she did start to feel bad that she had knocked Trixie out so easily in a single kick “Oh boy, I guess I kind of overdid it, though…”

“Yeah, but that was still a dynamite kick. You gotta teach that to me before I go back home, might be good to try on mugs who don’t pay for their mane cuts.” Babs said, impressed by Sweetie’s handiwork.

The conversation went around like this for awhile, but you yourself didn’t have much to say. No, you actually found your attention focusing on your grand master plan. It might be a good idea to let the CMC in on it, for sure. Applebloom would be able to explain things better to Scrappy than you could, and he himself could be helpful in convincing the hive to accepting Chrysalis back once you got her changed. But the princesses had to come first, and Spike was closest to the one you’d have the most trouble with, so maybe you should talk to him about Twilight before actually confronting her.

So you do, you ask Spike if you could talk to him privately. Of course, the others got a little suspicious as to why you’d single him out. But you just explain that it’s just private guy stuff and has to do with something secret among you two. Luckily, they buy it. Spike, seeming rather curious as to why you’d ask him to speak in private, agrees to do it, and so you both head deeper into the chaotic Ponyville until you’re are standing in front of a Sugar Cube Corner that was actually just a sugar cube.

“So, what’s up, Anon? This about O&O? The friendship school? Or is it about the wedding?” Spike asked.

“Actually, it’s two things. I didn’t get the chance to ask this but, where are we exactly? I figure it’s a pocket space at this point, but where is it originating from? Also, why is Trixie here?” You said as you dared a lick on the actual cube. Huh, it actually was made of sugar.

“Some janitor’s closet. We needed some privacy since Starlight was acting really weird and asking questions about you or about, and this was super weird, our identities. It’s kinda why Trixie came with us, Starlight was making her feel uncomfortable.” Spike said, putting his claws to his hips as he took a breath “Yeeeeah, nopony didn’t want her snooping around in here coming to any crazy conclusions. No offense to her, but it was just really off putting.”

Ugh, you had to nip that one in the bud as soon as possible. She was probably going bonkers looking for you to make sure you were ok, as well as making sure none of the leaving guests were Chrysalis. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. So uh, yeah… The second thing I have to mention. It’s actually a bit of a doozy.”

“A doozy, huh? Ok, don’t mince words then. Hit me with everything you got, I can take it.” Spike said as he braced himself, as if you were going to smack him or something.

“Spike, I need you to take this seriously. I’m gonna need your help with it because I know how Twilight can be.” You tell him.

“Twilight? Oh geez, Anon, it involves Twilight? I guess this really is- Oh no…” Spike suddenly comes to a realization, as if he knew what you were going to say. “Don’t tell me it’s gotta do with ‘her’. C’mon, Anon, what are you thinking?”

“Spike, look. Yes, it is about Chrysalis. And yeah, I guess I deserve your doubt considering she didn’t reform. But, buuut, her children did reform, didn’t they? That means there is a chance, right?” C’mon, Spike. You knew he could be logical when he wanted to be.

“Yeah, sure, but it’s the fact she didn’t and that you’re still on this that worries me. Anon, look, I’ll be straight up, you should drop this right now before you end up getting hurt. Nothing has changed since she disappeared, and unless she showed up all of a sudden, then whatever you got going down is just a bad idea.” Spike, as you should have expected, was worried about you already, thinking you were chasing a dead dream. He was trying to ‘save’ you.

“Well then, it looks like you’re willing to listen then because she DID actually show up recently. As in, she showed up during the wedding.” You tell Spike in a rather nonchalant way. You had him now, he would be too curious to not hear you out at this point.

“What?! She was at the wedding?! And you knew?! And… Wait…” Spike started to realize a few things within his own surprise. “...I guess that explains why Starlight was asking those questions, guess she figured it out or you told her. And since nothing bad happened… Er… I guess this is why you wanted to talk in private. Ok, before you tell me your plan, tell me exactly what’s up with her.”

And so you do, you even mention the attempted murder, as the fact it didn’t happen should help your case that she’s willing to change to some degree. After telling your story and your plan, Spike just sits down on the ground, and ponders. “Ok, I see what you’re going for now. She’s starting to care what others think of her. I guess I can understand that when you end up alone and don’t have anypony to listen to you, that'd you start to want to be around somepony and want them to care about you. And I guess something had to have clicked in that black heart of hers too. Man, just thinking about it, it’s really heavy when you realize all your kids just decide to up and leave you. But, Anon, this is still kinda nuts. Like, did you ever think of the possibility that she could lie about reforming? And I’m talking about if it looks like your plan works. Because, considering she’s willing to… Y’know… kkssst” Spike slides his claw along his throat to signify murder “It’d be dangerous to just let her walk around.”

“It’s a risk, I know, but check this out. The Chrysalis from the other Equestria told me she changed when she lost her hive, and came to take care of a bunch of enslaved foals. It’s proof enough that it can happen and that it’d be hard for our Chrysalis to fake. We already know she’s starting some sort of change, we just need to show her that we’re willing to accept her to make it happen. I need the princesses, the elements, and a few of our friends on board to get things started. And then I can work on an actual plan to get things to happen. Heck, it could be as simple as just another talk with her. Since she doesn’t want to end me now, loneliness has to be creeping more and more on her at this point. I don’t think it’d be too long before she wants a friend to hang around with. C’mon, Spike, I’m just asking you to help me convince Twilight to accept her. Aunt Fluttershy offered, but she just doesn’t have the will to take her on like you do.”

“Woah, Fluttershy is ok with it?” Spike said, surprised that Fluttershy was willing to take this chance.

“Yeah, she and Dad already know, I told them.” You say

“Well, guess you’re already making some progress. Alllllrighty, fine, I’ll help. Can’t let you barreling in only for Twilight to shut you down without giving you a chance. I mean, she kinda has to listen since she’s the one who set up an entire school for everycreature to learn about friendship. If you ask me, she’d be a hypocrite not to consider things, y’know?” Spike gives you a sly little smirk as he says that, it seemed he had a plan to get you through the threshold of Twilight’s denial.

“You’re really willing to help me? Even though you're Twilight’s number one?” You ask, a tad skeptical.

“Look, I’m willing to help you, that’s no problem. I just expect you not to go all crazy about it. Do that and I’m hopping sides. Yeah, I know, Twilight can be pretty nutsy herself. And yeah, I know if she had her way on some circumstances like this, Discord wouldn’t be here, Starlight wouldn’t be here, and… Well… You’d be in Tartarus. Yeah, still haven’t really forgotten that. Look, Anon, I’ll be honest with you. I have given the whole changeling thing some thought. I dunno, you ever feel like destiny kinda changed at a certain point? Y’know, like you had a dream or something that made you the one, say, help reform the changelings in some way? Or at least one of them… With a really awkward song, and Princess Cadance was there… Ergh, look.” Spike shook his head to clear his mind, and then looked to you with a serious expression. “I got your back, ok? Twilight should be free in a couple of hours to finalize her plans for the first day of school. If you want, come by the castle, and we’ll talk to her together, ok?”

You nod. Fucking yes! Things were working out so far, huzzah! “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks, Spike, you’re a bro!”

“Yeah, I know. Well, everypony is probably leaving this place by now, let’s head back. You still gotta talk to Starlight. Hope she didn’t explode or something.” Spike says as he begins to walk back to the group.

“Yeah, let’s do ttTTTHHHAAAGHHHH!” You begin to trot, only to quickly slip on the soapy road once again, sliding back towards the group as soap builds up in your eyes. “AGH! IT BURRRNNSS!”

Spike, who was standing on the side of the road, just shakes his head at the shame of it. “Really hoping I’m making the right decision here.”

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!