Chapter 254 - Time for Pie
“So, how do you feel?” You asked Chrysalis.
Chrysalis was clearing some of the snow chunks that still remained on the hood of her car as Fluttershy, by your suggestion, went to retrieve both Discord and the pie. Chrysalis was fine with it, as long as Discord didn’t follow her up to retrieve said pie. She didn’t trust him walking through her home, which surprised you, as she trusted Fluttershy enough to grab the pie. “I’m fine, Anon. Now how about asking a question that isn’t so patronizing? I’m not a foal.”
“S-sorry, I… I just, y’know, am glad to see everything is working out.” You said, grimacing at your previous wording.
Chrysalis shoves a wad of ice off her car as she sighs. “Of course it’s working out, I’d say it’s working better than I expected it would. The only pony who doesn’t seem to have any faith in this whole thing is you. But I can’t blame you, really, Discord really could have ruined things by being the petulant foal he usually is.”
“Aw, c’mon, he’s not that bad. He’s j… Wait, so you were already expecting this to go okay? W-wait, hold on, let me rephrase that. Chrysalis, are you saying you actually want to be friends with Fluttershy? And, er, maybe Discord?” No way, did she actually...?
“Anon, I agreed to all of this for a reason. I’ve told you that being evil has lost its allure. To tell you the truth, part of me has become curious about the ‘power’ and ‘magic’ of friendship. And the other part of me wonders what it’d be like to have a few pony friends, at least a few competent and non-annoying ones. Fluttershy has proven herself to at least have good taste, and more importantly, she doesn’t infuriate me. I guess with her, I don’t mind her genuine attitude. Of course, it is still too early to say anything, she could still end up pissing me off at one point.” Chrysalis said as she flicked off the last bit of snow. “There we are.”
Woah… “That’s amazing though! I’m really happy you’re having a good time!” You said, hopping about excitingly. “This means you’ll be able to make a bunch of new friends!”
Chrysalis gagged at those words, so revolted she actually bonks you on the head to get you to stop hopping about. “Do you mind not sounding so pathetic! How about you stop treating this like some mission and just accept that you obtained your goal. I swear, you actually sound like Twilight Sparkle! I’m fine with being friends with Fluttershy, but I’m not going to go out of my way to make extra friends. Need I remind you that Princess Celestia no doubt is monitoring me in some way and is probably relishing in the thought of seeing me transform like the others? I don’t want to give her the satisfaction.”
Despite the fact she bopped you, you still can’t help but feel pretty enthusiastic about it as you stare at her with a grin, wagging your tail. “C’moooon, relax. Would it be that bad transforming at this point? You’d still be you.”
“Can you say that about my forsaken brood?” Chrysalis asked, with an icy stare.
Oof, welp, there goes the enthusiasm. “Erm… Um, erm… No, I guess there’s the whole pussifcation thing. But, buuuuuuut, you said you were interested in the ‘magic’ and ‘power’ of friendship. Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to make more friends?”
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to. When I said extra friends, I mean friends for the sake of having friends. When it comes to Discord’s little O&O group, it’s going to have to be a certainty.” Chrysalis explained.
Wut? “Wait, so you are serious about that?”
Chrysalis shrugged. “The thought isn’t that awful when you think about it. Discord gets annoyed but can’t do anything about it, I maintain being evil in some capacity, and I can maintain my ability to play the roles I need to play. As long as the group he plays with doesn’t frustrate me, I’m willing to befriend them. Who exactly are they, anyway?”
“Oh, well, there’s Spike, I’m sure you remember him. Big M- Wait.” Hold on a second. “I thought you said the allure of evil has been lost on you.”
Chrysalis sighed and bopped you again. “Hush, and just tell me who my new ‘friends’ are going to be.”
Sheesh, geez! Usually your head was nearly invulnerable, but somehow she was able to smack it in a way that still stung. “Geez, fine. God, I mean, do you mind not slapping me around, at least?”
Chrysalis just stared at you with a bored stare as she rolled her hoof along to get you to hurry up.
Welp, it seems no matter what, Chrysalis will always be, in some way, Chrysalis. “Fine… Like I said, there’s Spike. There’s also Big Mac, Applejack’s brother. And I think Scootaloo is part of the group now, she’s-”
Chrysalis interrupts you as she waves her hoof boredly. “Yes, yes, I remember who she is. Spike, hm? The dragon pet Twilight has? Interesting. But this Big Mac, hm, which one is Applejack again?”
“The farm mare with the cowboy hat.” You say.
“Eugh, so he’s a farm pony? Never mind having the game in my manor. I wasn’t too worried about Discord’s shenanigans since I could just go to Fluttershy to have him wrangled in, but I’m not going to let a farm pony track his dirt and mud in my home.” Chrysalis said with disgust, before something dawned on her curiously. “Wait, so, where were they having their sessions then? It certainty can't be Fluttershy's home, it's too small. I can only think of one other place big enough to fit that group.”
“Twilight’s castle? Oh no, Chrysalis, I can already see where this is going.” You said with a groan.
“Would it be so bad, Anon? Besides, and this may surprise you, but I’d like to have a few debates with our friendship-minded princess. From everything I gathered, everything seems like her way or the highway with her, and there’s a few things I’ve learned over the course of this whole back and forth we’ve had that I want to challenge her on. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t want to see me have words with her over the concept of friendship, would you? I do have at least four and a half seasons I can sift through of her little adventures to pick up on some counter points.” Chrysalis said as she gave you an evil grin.
You just put a hoof to your face as you shook your head. “I am somehow getting the feeling that you’re going to be even more evil with the magic of friendship behind you.”
Chrysalis laughed evilly as she nudged at you. “Oh, come on! The Anon I know would have loved to see her writhe. At least I’m not trying to put her in the ground. I promise not to be too much of a prude about the whole roleplaying thing, but getting under Twilight’s skin needs to be done. It's a justified form of revenge, so to speak.”
…It would be pretty funny seeing Twilight have a mental breakdown over a debate like that. You’ve kept Chrysalis informed on a few things about Twilight in the past, but her having at least four and a half seasons of content would up her game? That'd be some shit. You had to wonder, actually, if you could somehow obtain the rest of the show. It probably ended at season five, but you never know. “Okay, I admit, it could be pretty damn funny.”
Chrysalis let out a giddy girlish chuckle as she gave you a gentle rub on the head. “That’s my little Anon. Hm? Ah, seems Fluttershy has retrieved the pie and her fool. Watch this.”
“...Yes, Fluttershy, I get that. But I’m not the only one who may have a problem with it. You must remember that there’s still Spike, Big Mac, and now Scootaloo to consider. Heavens, what will Twilight think of Spike being somewhat alone in a place like this?” Discord said as he walked beside Fluttershy.
Fluttershy just continued her stride as she looked to the both of you with a smile, never turning her head towards Discord. “I understand your concern, but you can ask them if they’re alright with it, can’t you? And if it is a problem… Well.” Fluttershy stopped in front of Chrysalis, and gave her a confident yet cheery look. “Chrysalis, I know this is such a sudden question. But you wouldn’t mind going to Twilight’s castle for the O&O sessions, would you? If it’ll make things easier, I can certainly ask Twilight if it’d be allowed.”
Chrysalis almost brandished a fiendish smirk, but instead gave a polite smile as she nodded. “That sounds alright with me. In fact, thinking about it, I believe that’d be better than my idea.”
Discord, saying nothing, reeled back his head in shock on how easy Chrysalis gave in to the suggestion.
Fluttershy just cheered it on as she held up the pie. “Yay! I knew we could come to a compromise. Now come on, let’s all have some delicious, yummy pie.”
Although there were no seating arrangements, all but Fluttershy were perfectly capable of just sitting down on the floor and using a form of telekinesis to keep the pie slices suspended in midair as you all chowed down. Discord, being as polite as ever for Fluttershy, merely produced a floating plate for Fluttershy to easily reach for with the pie placed on top as he made sure she was comfy with a pillow on the bottom. Discord even used his magic to reheat the pie as if it had just come out and cooled from the oven.
“This almost seems like an opportunity to show off some human television. Though, I'd rather not lose my place with my painting tapes, still on a bit of a thing with it.” Chrysalis remarks as she takes a bite of the pie. “Hmmmm, pretty alright.”
“Oh, that’s alright, we wouldn’t want you to lose your place. Speaking of, Chrysalis, have you ever thought of making a few paintings to submit to a gallery? I really do mean it when I say that you have an amazing talent for it.” Fluttershy said as she took a bite of her slice.
“Hm, never thought about it, really. Maybe one day, for… Reasons. Ah, actually, since we’re going to be doing a round of questioning, there is something that has been nagging at me. It isn’t too important, but it is quite curious.” Chrysalis said.
“What is that?” Fluttershy asked.
“You and Discord. I can sense something between you two, even taste it. You have to tell me, are you two lovers? I have t-” But Chrysalis, and well, everyone is interrupted as Discord literally explodes into dust and sparkles at the mere mention of the word 'lovers'.
“Geez! Welp, he exploded again.” You said as you used the magic of your horn to catch Fluttershy’s, your’s, and Chrysalis’s slice of pie. “I can’t even count how many times that’s happened.” You said as you placed Fluttershy’s slice back on her plate, and held Chrysalis’s slice towards her.
“Explode? Why would he… Oh.” Chrysalis realized it, she caught Fluttershy in a quick blush as well, but chose to say nothing about it. “I see. Well, I’ll just take his slice then.” Chrysalis said as she grabbed both her’s and Discord’s slice with her magic.
“I’m v-very sorry about that, Chrysalis. It isn’t his fault, erm, Discord just gets kind of… Erm, excitable about, um, those kinds of questions.” Fluttershy interjected in a blushy panic.
Chrysalis could see he wasn’t the only one who got flustered over such a question, and it made her just want to ask something about it. But then Chrysalis looked over to you for a moment, and you tried to make a gesture to just cut the line of questioning, for Fluttershy’s sake. At this point, you knew there was a thing, they just wouldn’t admit it. Surprisingly, Chrysalis chose to act on your gesture. “It’s quite alright, I would expect it from him. I did live with him once, I know how he works.”
“R-right, I almost forgot about that.” Fluttershy said as she gulped and tapped at her hooves. “Annnyyyway, erm, so… Human things. You know, despite taking in Anon as my nephew, I actually realized I don’t know much about humans other than they seem to have had a society close to how we live. Isn’t that right, Anon?”
“Erm, yeah? Kinda. Humans are more advanced tech wise, we just didn’t have any magic. You could also say humans were much more extreme than ponies are. Let’s just say if somepony like Tirek attacked us, he wouldn’t have lasted a second.” You explain.
Chrysalis snickered at that, “Perhaps even less than that. Humans are such fascinating creatures. Much more unpredictable than ponies, and even more curious as well. They don’t have cutie marks to dictate their skills, and some have so many skills it’d put even Equestria’s best to shame. It is so respectable that I even like the ones in history that would be deemed ‘good’ in pony eyes. Oh, and their technology… They can do anything, and have gone much further than anypony has with magic. Yes, humans can’t cast spells or summon creatures and the like, but their homes, their way of producing cinema, their weapons, their ways of travel, everything really...” Chrysalis was nearly swooning at this point. “It overwhelms even me.” Chrysalis then turns her head towards you and gives you a gentle pat. “I do have to thank Anon for introducing me to it all.”
You nearly blushed at that. Maybe she was hamming it up, but you felt since it was human stuff, she was being genuine. “Hey, it’s no trouble, really. I’m just glad I have somepony to share human stuff with. The only other friend I have I can talk about it with is Starlight, and even then, it can’t be about everything.”
“Is it because of the scarier stuff? I know humans have a lot of scary things they do, and, erm, they have wars. Very very scary wars.” Fluttershy said as she began to shiver, lowering her ears. She had been told about the brain bug scene, though in very vague detail. And yet it was still enough to give her the willies.
“Oh, trust me, scary doesn’t even begin to describe it. But I’ll tell you one thing. Even when things look bleak, they have heroes that will make strides across the battlefield. I can tell the thought upsets you, but whenever you gather up the nerve, I’d suggest you watch the documentary ‘Starship Troopers’. You’ll at least see why somepony like Tirek would be annihilated on the spot.” Chrysalis coo’d again. “Given everything I know now, I know I could easily blend in with the humans and travel the stars, destroying all in my path. I think I could even join the Roughnecks.” She then sighs to herself as she reels herself back to reality. “Ah well, a girl can dream.”
“W-well, erm, I did hear the humans were fighting, erm, very scary bugs. Was there really no way they couldn’t talk it out with them to reach some sort of peace?” Fluttershy asked.
“Erm, Aunt Fluttershy, um. Kinda no, well, very no. The Klandathu bugs are kinda just, well, they’ll kinda… Y’know.” You make a slicing noise as you slide your hoof along your neck.
Fluttershy’s ears folded once more as she lowered her head in worry. “O-oh…”
Now Chrysalis started to show some annoyance. Either she felt insulted Fluttershy seemed too scared of human history, or she was just annoyed with her timidness in general. “Come now, Fluttershy, how could you be so scared? Aren’t you an element of harmony? Even if they're not up to human standards, you must have gone through many a horror to get to where you are today. You tamed Discord! Who, at the height of his villainous career, was actually something to fear. It is just a documentary, there is no way those bugs even exist today. Isn’t that right, Anon?”
“Erm, yeah, they definitely don’t exist today. They were destroying our, er, planet. They had to go.” You say, a little timid yourself, over her sudden attitude shift and the fact that it is actually just a movie. A movie you hope Chrysalis never finds out is actually just that, a movie.
“See? Anon, for how boorish and stupid he can be, understands they needed to be wiped o-” But suddenly Chrysalis is stopped. When Fluttershy heard those words, she suddenly stood up, right in front of Chrysalis, and gave her a very intense stare.
“Now you see here. For the longest time, I have heard some negative things about Anon that just makes me so so mad. I’ve heard him be called dumb, and careless, and evil, and even really mean things like saying he can’t be empathetic. It got to him really bad one time, and he had a very scary hallucination that made him do scary things. And now, to hear you say that about him? That makes me really really mad because you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends! He almost was gone forever because of you! So don’t call him stupid, or boorish! He’s a very nice, polite, and good colt! And I never want to hear such mean words about him again, is that clear?” Fluttershy said, unwavering and stern as hell. “I don’t care who you are, I can be pretty mean too if I have to be!”
Chrysalis said nothing, her eyes slowly shifting to you. You just… Sorta shrugged. What the fuck could you say about the situation? Chrysalis just stared at Fluttershy as she pondered. She then smiled and nodded. “You’re right. He isn’t stupid, nor boorish, if he managed to get this far. For all his short-comings, he really is one impressive ‘colt’. I apologize.”
….Woah
Even Fluttershy was caught off guard. She just blinked in confusion for a moment, but then she slowly began to smile, and nodded happily. “It’s alright. But please, be nicer to him? He’s gone through so much.” Fluttershy walked over to you and brought you close, hugging you like a plush doll. “Anon works so very hard, everyday, to make things better for everypony else. We’re all here, right now, thanks to him. So please, I mean it, don’t treat him badly.”
D-dammit, Fluttershy… It was as soothing as it was embarrassing. You couldn’t tell how seriously Chrysalis was taking her. And you were hoping Fluttershy wasn't losing points with her either. But for Chrysalis to even refer to you as stupid at this moment, she must have felt things had become more casual, and just let it slip.
“I understand. In fact…” Chrysalis suddenly began to applaud Fluttershy.
Wut?
“Huh? Why are you clapping?” Fluttershy asked.
“You stood up to me, a queen. That’s probably as close as I’m going to get with you in terms of bravery, but I’ll take it. I suppose that’s where your success comes from, those bursts of bravado. In fact, that explains Discord. You formed a bond with him, one which he’s afraid to break, and one you’ll never let him abuse, knowingly or otherwise. I can see why you are in love with him.” Chrysalis said.
Fluttershy blushed an even deeper red as she accidently drops you. “HUH?! I-Um… Like I said, erm…”
“It’s alright, you don’t have to explain it. Who knows? I could even be reading you wrong. Either way, I have found this visit both enlightening and amusing. Come, follow me upstairs. I want to show you at least one episode of this Bob Ross person and I want to hear what you think. Then you can leave. Is that fine with you?” Chrysalis asked Fluttershy.
Fluttershy, still flustered and bewildered, only lets out a “U-um… Okay.”
“Good. Because, I’m telling you, I don’t know what it is. But this man just has a way with words. I just need a second opinion to see if maybe I’ve gone a little hermit crazy or not.” Chrysalis said as she began to lead both you and Fluttershy upstairs.
Well… It happened. It… It actually happened. Chrysalis is friends with Fluttershy. The big step was finally made. Holy fuck, you’re actually glad Discord exploded. You love the guy but goddamn, you just didn’t think, even if he tried his best, that he would have been able to contain himself the entire visit.
Fuck… Your nerves were shot. Even though you didn’t like it, you needed some tea after all this.
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Discord go boom.
maybe somepony should tell discord how hilarious it would be to have some more little chaos spirits running around to drive celestia up the wall xD
Gonna be really funny when Fluttershy and Chrysalis take a casual stroll through ponyville someday chatting it up much to everyone's dismay.
11392248
>casual stroll
>not riding around in style after Chrysalis convices her to get her own set of wheels
11392368
Nah, sometimes mundane absurdity is funnier than absurdity on top of yet more absurdity when absurd absurdity is the most common absurdity seen, that being said, it would be fun for that to happen too.
Now to wait for the moment that Bob Ross's soothing voice does its thing.
Now for potential errors:
Uppercase ‘y’ should be lowercase. (?)
Missing question mark. (?)
friendship-minded
Missing comma after ‘delicious’. (?)
midair/mid-air (?)
Missing period.
11395328
Very well, then.
11392499
You lost me, but I still agree with what you said. If your given the same kind of humor over and over it enhances the punchline for when they use a different kind of joke.
Great chapter, watching Discord explode due to puritan thoughts of all things is hilarious.
I already can't wait to see Chryssi dungeon-mastering Discord around, I hope there is a chapter or ten planned for that. She now also has an ace up her sleeve for Discord, she knows full well both of them love each other. It is leveling the field a lot between the two, now that she is friends with Fluttershy.
The debate between Chryssi and Twilight also sounds amazing. Make Chryssi expose Twilight for who she really is, give her some reality checks. Maybe Twi could have some words against Chrysalis as well, not making it a one-sided slaughter. Not like Chryssi is perfect, she too makes mistakes.
And for the O&O, Chryssi and Discord could find out they have a common enemy, Celestia. Chrysalis could become another person to join the chaos crew and amaze Discord with her impersonation skills. Just imagine that.
I'm going on a little brainstorming spree here. How about inviting Celestia over for the O&O?
Anon watching th other seasons would give Anon a potential existential crisis, especially if the time this was created is the same as the episode date, because this is most likely a couple episodes, or maybe even a season ahead, I am not checking dates rn.
But knowing that all of it was predestined IF the 9th season is on there would cause Anon’s mind to probably break.
Anyways, Fluttershy’s reaction to Bob Ross is probably going to be legendary!