• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 101 - "To Family!"

“...So he actually lets me in, right? For me to pretty much give him this kingdom I don’t own. Like, Flim believed it more than Flam, but Flam still not only let me in for contract negotiations, but he even got me snacks on demand as if I was actually a prince!” You said with a cackle, taking a bite of your carrot dog.

Indeed, dinner was a full spread in front of all of you. There was the butter pound cake, carrot dogs, Some sort of cheese fondue, hayburgers, apple cider, soda, water. It wasn’t as fancy as the place Discord created, but maybe that was the point.

“Well, he believed you were.” Discord said with a snicker “It still boggles the mind that they could be so easily tricked after getting so far with their plan. But then I forget, but not really, that chaotic thinking can achieve anything.”

“Well, I’d like to think it’s because Anon looks like a prince. At least I think so.” Fluttershy said with a cheerful smile “Just look at how cute he is, Discord. I’d even say he’s… Chaotically cute?” Fluttershy says, hoping her joke would be received positively.

“Chaotically cute? Hah! Fluttershy, I didn’t take you as that much of a jokester.” Discord says with applause. “So good, I think I’ll use that as reference to Anon’s look.”

God, that wasn’t even much of a joke. What a suck up. Ah well, it was still cute coming from Fluttershy, so you at least let out a small chuckle before continuing your story. “Heh, well, I am super good looking after all. But wait, hold on, I didn’t even get to the best part yet. Ok, so, he leaves the room for a minute, right? So I’m like ‘I’m gonna take a poop’, and I did! And the bestest best part? He actually let it slide because I told him ‘our kingdom’ does it all the time! HAHA! Oh man, it was awesome. the face he made was priceless”

Fluttershy immediately gasped upon hearing that, bringing her hooves to her mouth. But oddly enough, she didn’t say anything or look shocked. Instead, she was shaking, with little sounds escaping her lips. You were about to ask her if she was ok. Hell, you now expected her to suddenly not be ok with you doing that despite the alternate Flim Flam brothers being foal slaving douchebags. But that wasn’t it, because after a while more, Fluttershy burst into laughter.

You hadn’t even noticed that Discord had a talon out, pointing at you. “Well, looks like I won’t be using soap.” Discord then smiled, and began to rest his head on his hand as he took a bite of his glass of cider. “Find something amusing, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy, realizing she was giggling, let out a quick and embarrassed ‘Eep” as she covered her mouth again with her hooves. Then, when she noticed the both of you waiting for an answer from her, she slowly lowered her hooves, still letting out a tiny titter, and then took a deep breath before looking at you and saying. “Erm… Don’t you think that was a little too much?”

You lean forward and look to her with a smirk “I dunno, Aunt Fluttershy, would have it been as funny if I didn’t do that?”

Fluttershy twitched with a tiny tiny little giggle, and then let out a content sigh. “No, I guess not. Oh my, I shouldn’t find something like that so funny. But considering what those brothers did to those foals, Equestria, and Princess Celestia… Well… Erm. Ahrm, well, I suppose they get doody for being doody heads.”

Discord let out a small snicker at that as he took a slice of cake. “Well, it was only one of them at that time. Although they both did get it later when our dear bug friend decided to shove them into a portable toilet and throw them down the side of a mountain.”

Fluttershy cringed at that one “Ohhhwwwweee, that’s… Oh.”

Hm? “You don’t feel sorry for them, do you, Aunt Fluttershy?”

“Oh, no, I guess not. It’s just, well, that’s very unclean. And, um, a little much considering we’re eating dinner.” Fluttershy said, stifling yet another giggle, but avoiding calling any attention to it.

“Unclean? Well, yes, it is unclean. However, I think it was both quite funny and fitting.” Discord let out a laugh as he said that. “Really, when you think about it, Canterlot would be doomed if a giant toilet attacked. The upper crust citizens would spontaneously combust at the sight of it!” Discord started laughing at that. Hell, that was actually a good fucking joke that it made you start giggling too.

“Oh, well…” Fluttershy shifts her eyes left and right, then with a tiny giggle says “If Rarity is anything to go by, that might just happen. Hehe! All this talk of chaotic things makes me want to admit that maybe, erm, I also did something that is, I think, pretty chaotic.”

Discord immediately lit up, quite literally, with interest “You did?! Tell us!” Discord turned child-like with a little helicopter cap and scootched his seat right next to yours, looking to Fluttershy with fascination as he put his head on his paw and talons. “Teeeeeeeeeeeellllllll us!”

Did she? Well goddamn, you had to hear this. “Yeah, Aunt Fluttershy, tell us! You can’t just say that and not, you know?”

“I know, I know, I wasn’t planning on not telling it. Well…” Fluttershy took a moment, and then cleared her throat. “A long time back, when I was a foal, I actually took a cookie from the cookie jar without asking! And then when my father asked about it, I blamed it on Zephyr… And then I immediately felt bad and said I did it. I hate to say it, but I almost got away with it, and would have been happy too since Zephyr was being… Well, you know. But I couldn’t do that to him when he didn’t do anything really wrong, so I took my punishment with pride.” Fluttershy then giggled once again “Although, in the end, I still got the cookie.”

Wut? Well, why are you surprised? That is pretty ‘Fluttershy’ of her. Plus Zephyr was an asshole, you had only met him once before and god, the fact he actually tried to take the horn from you in trade of a haircut was ridiculous, especially when he tried to cut your mane while you were asleep to justify said trade. He got better after apparently Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash helped him, but still, ‘Uncle’ Zephyr is an ass. “Heh… ha, erm, I suppose that’s what counts.”

“Bravo, Fluttershy, Bravo.” Discord said with a clap as he changed back to normal “Much better than the time you turned into a vampony or spooked your friends, simply because of the deviousness sprinkled in on that attempt of blaming your brother.”

“Oh, well, I don’t like to think of it as something worth applauding. I just thought it was funny I got the cookie. The punishment was a little harsh though, I had to spend the day in my room instead of being able to go out and play with my then new animal friends. Though, not being able to spend time with them did make me feel very awful too.” Fluttershy said with a mood killing sigh. "I guess maybe it taught me not to do anything like that again."

“Ah come on, Aunt Fluttershy, that was the past, nothing to worry about an-” You stop right there when you realized something Discord said was actually damned interesting. “Wait, you spooked your friends? As in, scared them? When?!”

“Oh, that was the Nightmare Night where you solved the case of that mean ‘Sharpclaw’ thief. Which, now when I think about it, is kind of a weird alias for a griffon when they use their talons, not claws.” Fluttershy said as she pondered on the thought.

“Sounds like an oversight to me. But hm, Anon, she never told you the story?” Discord asked, wondering about that.

“No, and I’m really interested! Can you tell it to me, Aunt Fluttershy?” You ask, in genuine interest. How the fuck did she manage to scare the other five?

“Well, I’m not really proud of it too much, but it was all in good fun. So yes, I’ll explain it…” And so she did. From spooking them in some sort of maze, to getting the help of her animal friends, right down to dressing up as the very vampony she had become. Goddamn, you didn’t know she had it in her.

And with that, a genuine chuckle burst from your mouth. “Aunt Fluttershy, that’s awesome! Especially considering you managed to scare all of them! Twilight especially, she can be pretty brave when she wants to be.”

“Well, she kind of wasn’t that time.” Fluttershy said with a small giggle. “But it’s something I just can’t see doing again. I know what it’s like to be scared, it’s not fun.”

To you, that depended. Being scared in a nicer setting or with friends can be fun. But when it’s for your life, or when danger actually looms. Yeah, that’s when it’s not fun anymore. You understood all that, and conveyed that to Fluttershy, who did agree with you, even if she wanted to avoid scaring anyone altogether. Still, damn, you wished you got to see her do it, it sounded rad.

And so, the rest of dinner went about like this. Friendly chats, jokes, Discord being jovial about the things he does. Eventually, as dinner drew to a close, Discord had one last thing to do before he packed it all up. He took a glass of cider and raised it up high, catching the attention of all the other patrons. “Excuse me, everypony, excuse me. May I have your attention?” But alas, the other clones just continued to mingle. Discord started to turn red in anger, and finally let out “I SAID EXCUSE ME! I’M TRYING TO BE POLITE FOR FLUTTERSHY. BUT SO HELP ME, I’LL THROW ANON AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU UNLESS YOU SHUT IT RIGHT NOW!”

And with that, everyone one in the room shut up. Though you, however, took a moment to realize what his words actually entailed. But before you could raise an objection, Discord continued to speak.

“Thank you” Discord said as he cleared his throat. “Before we close tonight’s dinner extravaganza, I’d like to make a toast. Not only to me, since I already know how great I am. And trust me, I do know that, I say it all the time, after all. But I digress, this also extends to Fluttershy and Anon. To Fluttershy, I say, without her, I’d still be with my stone heart… And still be made of stone. Indeed, Fluttershy helped me become the draconequus I am today, and I wouldn't change it for the world… Or this world anyway. And then there is Anon, my dear chaotic son, whom I whisked away from the horrid life of humanity, he is the one who I can count on most when it comes to chaos and chaotic back up. Me and him, we’re two of a kind, even if I’m of a better suit. But to be quite serious, Anon has proven his worth tenfold, and even if I was to have a draconequus son, I doubt he’d be half the little chaos maker Anon is. So again, a toast to us, for family!”

“Oh Discord…” Fluttershy said in a low tearful voice before raising her glass. “For family!”

Damn man, why’d he have to go and say it like that. Heh, he really is, and always will be, a great guy. “For family!”

And with that, you all clang your glasses, and take a drink.

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