• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 60 - Challenging Starlight

Author's Note:

Decided to split the last remaining chapter into two, as i might have my time sucked up after tonight.

Wow, five completely different clones as security detail. Two of them that, to you, are ridiculous in their own right. One that seemed to be lazy and a cheat, the other being a gungho professional. You really had to hope Starlight would be able to direct them properly. At least they seem to follow her directions.

Speaking of, you notice the flickering light of the camp up ahead. You once again decide to hide behind a nearby tree as you gaze upon the campsite. There were two medium sized tents, a picnic table, and a campfire that burned bright enough to light the entire area. And then you saw the pair, Starlight and her current cohort, Number One, who was dressed like all the others.

Starlight was sitting at the picnic table, tons of books and blueprints at her side, as she took her time to read through the schematics of some super fast jet. “Is this even possible, Number One? Can this ‘X-15’ really break the sound barrier? It says here in the history pamphlet that it can reach a speed called mach six. That’s kinda far fetched, I could see why Scootaloo had a hard time believing it, even I’m skeptical.”

“Oh yes, Commander, I agree, very very unbelievable. But it isn’t a lie either, that vehicle is able to break the sound barrier six times over, its truly remarkable. Second only to you.” Number one said, his movements and manner of speech rather flamboyant as he sucked up to Starlight.

“Six times over, huh? Well, if that’s the truth, then it really is pretty crazy to think about. Rainbow Dash is fast, but this jet plane could fly from my old house to Canterlot in less than an hour, maybe minutes. I’d really like to build one of these but…” Starlight sighs “The materials, and the fuel needed to run it all, not to mention all the gadgetry, it kinda makes it near impossible to put together. Also, it’s not only beyond anything I’ve managed to learn, but I doubt even Equestria’s best aeronautics teams would be able to figure it out. Gyro-copters and magic powered propellers are one thing, but this? Not even the alicorn princesses could power this unless they became a literal battery to it.”

“Agreed, very much agreed, Commander.” One says with constant nods.

“Then there are these jumbo jets and commercial planes. These things could transport so many ponies and so much cargo at once, that it also seems ridiculous. Sure, we have blimps and balloons that function the same way, but they lack the speed these things have. If only I had all the tools and all the materials to make these, I’d at least try to build a sizable prototype that uses magic to power it.” Starlight lets out a soft chuckle to herself as she sat back “I bet if I actually studied crafting, or at least had a cutie mark in it, this would be so much easier for me. Actually, I wonder if Sunburst would be able to do anything with these.”

“Well, Commander Star, I don’t wish to sound like a yespony, but the skills you have been developing thus far has been extraordinary in terms of growth. Ever since you acquired that taser from Anon, you have managed to improve yourself as you applied yourself.” Number One said enthusiastically, swinging his arm around to really bring it home.

“Yeah, I am pretty great, aren’t I?” Starlight said, relaxing as her confidence overtakes her a bit. “Well, anyway, making one of these helicopters might be doable. But again, I need materials and a way to move the helicopters themselves. But they are close enough to our gyrocopters to at least substitute some of these materials with our own to make some sort of prototype. And… Oh, another weapons schematic, throw it in the fire.” Starlight, as she looked over the various schematics, uses her magic to hand a particular one to Number One for him to burn. It seems she wasn’t too privy on the weapons some of these planes were meant to have. “Can’t let anypony even see any of those. If it’s one thing Anon has said to me that is now perfectly clear, it’s that humans are horribly destructive creatures. Did you see the schematics for the weapons meant for those bomber planes? Horrible…” Starlight, it seemed, really wanted nothing to do with human weaponry at all.

“Yes, I did. Truly horrible, I agree. As you mentioned before, these weapons could easily decimate entire populations in little time. A knowledge nopony should have.” Number One said as he threw the schematics into the flame.

“Yeah, that’s totally right, which is why we're burning them. And that should be the last weapon schematic too, so no worries about that. And speaking of Anon.” Starlight begins to frown as a thought of destruction comes upon her mind “He’s got a pretty dangerous weapon too, and it’s from our universe. I’m glad he’s on our side, he’d be worse than Discord if he suddenly went nuts. I can see it in him sometimes… Just, y’know, this willingness to go further than even most monsters would.”

“Well, we needn’t worry. Anon cares about his friends and this world. And even then, it’s not like you couldn’t stomp him if he ever tried. You are one of the most accomplished Unicorns in Equestria. Just as great as Starswirl and much more powerful than Twilight Sparkle.” Number One said like any suck up would, encouraging Starlight just because she was his superior.

“Y’know, I think that’s true. I mean, it wasn’t a good thing, but I was powerful enough to rip Cutie Marks away from ponies. Anon? Sure, he passed his training, but if it was just me and him? I think I could beat him. His chaos magic is powerful, that’s for sure, but he isn’t very practical with it and usually monologues about something before casting a spell. I wonder how skilled he’s really become at this point.” Starlight said, almost to herself, as she tapped her chin in thought.

“Not as skilled as you, Commander. I’d say you’d be able to take him down in a fight. Anytime, anywhere, and without much effort. You truly are the best unicorn ponies have to offer.” Number One said with a bow.

Starlight snickers at that “I don’t want to blow my own horn, but that could be true. If I had a little more time, I would have had a much better time spell than Starswirl. As for me against Anon? Again, I have the skill and the power. Is that bad to even say? I feel kind of bad, but it just seems like something Anon would think about all the time.”

“Don’t feel bad, Commander. Anon is very usually quite arrogant. He usually thinks he could beat anypony in a fight, even you. Which we both know just isn’t true.” Again, Number One says like the kissass he is.

As for you, you were insulted. How could she say that?! Sure, she was good at magic, but you were even better with a limited double charge. Besides, you had strategy, cunning, skill, good looks, and you could hop around like a damned Mexican jumping bean. And you were a hell of a lot better now than you were before the training. Dammit Starlight… No, you know what? Fuck it, you could beat her without your charges. You were goddamn ANON! THE FUCKING HERO COLT! And you just beat the shit out of a goddamned dragon. Hell, you’ve beaten two! You weren’t about to let yourself get downplayed by a pony and her goon! So you finally decide to reveal yourself, approaching the camp calm, but with a fury burning deep inside. “Hello, Starlight. How’re you doin?”

“Anon?!” Starlight nearly jumped off the bench in surprise at your sudden appearance, and then realizing what she had said and talked about with Number One, she suddenly felt self conscious and even guilty about what she had been saying. “Hello, Anon. Didn’t notice you… at all. Erm, I was just looking over all the schematics you sent me. I have to say, it’s really amazing stuff.”

“I know, trust me, I’ve seen it all a thousand times back in my old life.” You say as you sit on the bench opposite of Starlight on the picnic table, and just look at her with a hard stare.

“Yeah, really neat, haha.” Starlight said with a nervous chuckle, noticing you acting off. She doesn’t sugarcoat it, and realizes why you seemed so miffed. “Yeah… You heard what we we’re saying, didn’t you?”

“I did. Didn’t know you wanted to actually fight me. Then again, it seems you think you could actually beat me in a straight up duel.” You say as you look at your own right hoof stoically.

“Ok, Anon, come on. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I have experience you don’t have. I mean, I worked hard to become as skilled as I am. Sure, you’re powerful too, but it was all pretty much given to you. And ok, you trained, but that was more physical than mental OR magical… Ok, that sounds kind of bad, but you get what I’m saying. I just think I have an edge when it comes to actual combat. It’s nothing against you, you’ve proven yourself. But without your charges, you’re left at a big disadvantage and… Ok, I’m gonna be quiet now.” Starlight was realizing that no matter how well she tried to put it, she was making herself out to be better than you.

“Yes, Anon, she’s right. You needn’t be jealous of the commander, she simply is too good for you to truly understand.” Number One said in a mocking tone.

Starlight slapped her face with her hoof and slowly dragged it down, bewildered by Number One’s words. “...Not...Helping.”

“Well, considering how skilled I’ve become lately, I think we should have that fight you want so badly. I’m out of charges too, so you’ll really be eating your words when you lose to me.” Like, seriously? Where does she get off? Where does HE get off? You worked hard! You worked hard to get where you were at, so what the fuck were they talking about?

“Anon! Will you relax?! I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t even mean to say those things! It’s just...Ugh, you just… It’s him!” She points to Number One “He brought out the worst in me! I get a little in over my head when… Ugh, I’m not gonna say it. I’m just saying, my ego may have been inflated a little. I’m sorry, ok? I really am.”

“Ah… I apologize as well, to the commander of course. I didn’t mean to be the cause of these hostilities. I only meant to praise the one who deserves it, which is her, of course.” Number One said, like the little bitch he was.

“Ok, but I still want to challenge you. Let’s just say you’re the true final boss to all my training. If you’re as good as you say, then I’ll need to pull out all the stops to be able to trounce you. I mean, if you were just all talk, then I understand. No worries.” You say with a shrug, hoping for her to agree, so you could prove yourself proper to those who you associate with. You really didn't care for her apology.

“Anon, I’m not going to fight you. Come on, you’re acting crazy. We’re good friends, remember?” Starlight tried talking sense into you, bringing up the friendship you both share. As if that’d work.

“What are you, chicken?” You say as a retort.

“Uncalled for, but I get it, and I deserve that. I’m super sorry, Anon. Come on, I just don’t want to end up hurting you and… Oh no…” Starlight slapped herself when she said those words “Why do you keep saying these things, Starlight?” She says to herself before looking back at you with great concern. “Anon, c’mon, please? How about we just talk about these schematics? Or maybe we can talk about why I’m moving to Ponyville? I’m sure you heard about that from Twilight or something, right?” Starlight says, trying to look at you with a nervous but pleasant grin. "We could even fly a kite and relax if you want."

So, she thinks she’d end up hurting you, eh? Time to pull out the big guns. “Yeah, you’re a chicken. The kind of chicken who goes back to her wife named Trixie to get fucked in the butt!”

Starlight went wide eyed, her eyes shifting towards you while she herself was in utter shock “What did you just say?”

“I said you take it up the butt from Trixie every night because your pussy, which is where you pee from just to let you know, is too filled with chicken shit to let her plow you the normal way!” That oughta do it it.

Starlight just started silently nodding, then she looked over to Number One. “ Uh huh… Hrm. Number One, you mind getting Anon’s gear? I want to make sure he’s ready for the… How would he put it?”

“Ass-whupping, Commander.” Number One tells her, unshaken by you or your words “And might I say, that you totally have this in the bag.”


O-oh, oh shit. Erm, you may have gone too far with that one. Her face was practically red with rage. You didn’t know you could piss her off enough to say something like that. “U-uhm, Starlight? I-I don’t think that’s how it works…”

“I DON’T CARE! I’M ANGRY! I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT! NUMBER ONE, SUIT HIM UP! I… MNNGRR… Mngh.” Starlight was doing her best to calm down. She lost her head there, and part of her didn’t care. Either way, she realized, like before, that she could come to do something she’d regret. But even with that guilt in mind, she still wanted to fight. Her mind was now made up to see who was actually better in a fight. “I’m gonna need a minute to prepare. Also have to call up the other guards and ask them to stear clear and guard Scootaloo. And as for being ready, you better be ready to back up what you say, Anon. Because now you’re gonna get that fight. Oh yeah, you're gonna get it.” Starlight was revved up, peeved, and ready to throw down for sure. She walked off into one of the tents to calm herself further and make the call.

You just stood there, blinking, as your saddle bag appeared on your sides. Now you were wondering if you went too far. Sure, you wanted to prove you were strong. But Starlight, in retrospect, is pretty scary when it came to magical power. “I uhh… Ok, erm… “ Like really, the thought of proving yourself still hung in your mind. Hell, given she asked to bring in your saddle bag, she obviously wanted you to use the tools you did have to level the playing field. Given that Garble decided to force you to use your horn, you never had a chance to prove just how great you were without it. You knew Starlight was a fair fighter, or at least you hoped she was, this could be the fight you were looking for. Still, you turn to Number One, and ask him. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

“I do” Number One says with a nod

“Really?” You ask

“Indeed, it’ll prove that the commander is the best unicorn in the land, and I’m all up for that.” Number One said as he gave you an evil grin.

….Oh boy.

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