• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 53 - Princess Ember and the Smoldering Dilemma

Welp, you were here, now what do you do? You take a moment to look around the area once more. Yep, still barren, with some dragons flying around or sparring with each other and some others taking dips in the small pools of lava. All of this seemed normal enough, for a dragon anyway. Still, you were going to have to finally find and meet this Princess Ember and see if you could find out what kind of letter Twilight sent to her.

You decide to begin walking around, looking for any sign of the princess. You had no idea where to look, but then again, it didn’t help you weren’t asking around either. But why would you when every dragon here was ugly,pushy, and downright mean? Fuck that shit, you didn’t need one of them noticing your size and calling you puny or some shit like that. You climbed boulders, looked in craters, and slid down declines, but so far you hadn’t been able to find anything. “Where is this bitch? I just wanna do this and ge-WOAH!” And with one misstep, you end up hurtling down a rather steep cliff, smacking your head on boulders as you make your way down the side of a small mountain towards a beach. “AGH! OOF! CRIPES!”

You finally hit the ground, creating a small crater of your body within the sand. You lift your head, dizzy, bruised, and mouth full of sand. Upon spitting it out, you look back in a daze to see how far you fell. It was pretty high, you also noticed a green pair of wings behind you with charred tips… OH GODDAMMIT! “F-fucking…..n-ngh…” Had you known you had wings, you would have… goddamn it, that sucks. You stand up and start to brush yourself off as you mutter angrily. Then you hear it, a voice coming from a cave behind you, and it sounded angry.

You could hear a dragon bitching at some other dragon. What about? Was it a secret? Was this what you were looking for? You decide to venture inside the cave, following the angry voice. Upon making a turn through the open tunnel, you saw… OH SHIT, IT’S THAT GOLD DRAGON GUY YOU BEAT UP! You duck behind a large pair of rocks, trying to calm your now rapid breath. Given the yelling hadn’t stopped, you could surmise you weren’t caught. You slowly look beyond the rocks to see what was going on. That dragon, he seemed rather upset as this small,blue, sleek, and...hot dragon, especially with those sizzling red eyes. She was flying around him at eye level. Even with her downward horns and leaf ended tail, she looked… Holy crap, you didn’t realize how hot dragons could be. Too bad she was super angry looking right now, it actually unnerved you to see that gold dragon upset and scared by such a small dragon. Then again, you also notice her wielding some sort of scepter, did that mean…?

“So let me make sure I got this clear. You left your gem, which you have a million of back in your cave, out in the middle of nowhere. Then somecreature took it and it ended up in a pony bowling alley, which you decided to track down the entire way there despite the fact it was your fault you left the gem out there for anycreature to take. Then, instead of asking for it nicely, since you know, WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE PONIES! Ahrm…” The blue dragon calmed herself from explosive anger back to her loud agitated tone “You decide to destroy the bowling alley and attack a colt. A colt, I might add, that kicked your butt so hard that you cried the whole day. Incen, I am really REALLY angry right now. Not only for the fact that you decided to just attack our allies for the dumbest reason, but you totally got crushed by like… what, a six year old or something? There’s making us look bad, and then there’s making us look like a bunch of fuzzy bunnies.”

The gold scaled dragon, who was now meekly tapping his claws together, looked to the blue dragon with a pathetic expression “Yeah, but that gem was really tasty, and that colt was the hero colt for sure! I mean, I could have taken him if I was full and-” But Incen was cut off by another burst of anger from the blue dragon as she pointed her scepter at him.

“HEY, WORM FOR BRAINS! WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ATTACKING PONIES AT ALL! THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS, F-R-I-E-N-D-S, FRIENDS!” The blue dragon then smacked his forehead a few times with the scepter “That means we don’t hurt them, and even try to help them if they can’t help themselves, which surprisingly, a lot of them can! How many times do I need to explain this to all of you!?
Geez! I know we hated everycreature for like, ever, but that was then and this is now, and I just want everycreature to just make nice. There are plenty of other losers in this world in need of a real thrashing; I’m talking real big jerks like that Tirek guy. So here’s the deal, Incen, if I hear about you attacking any of those ponies again, I’m going to take your gem hoard myself and give it to a bunch of carpenters, are we clear?” The blue dragon said as she awaited his response

Incen gasped, horrified from what he heard “You wouldn’t! They don’t even eat the gems! They use it as decoration! DECORATION! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! GEMS ARE NOT A CHAIR!” Incen cried, wiping his eyes as he wept incessantly.

“Sheesh, this is just embarrassing. Just get out of here, and remember what I said.” The blue dragon sighed as she pointed to the exit of the cave.

“Y-yes, Princess Ember...ngh...Carpenters, ngh, they don’t even let you eat from their houses. I-it’s not like taking one gem would cause it to fall apart… Nghhhmmm” Incen said with a whine as he stomped out of the cave, still crying from Ember’s threats.

“What a baby” Ember huffed as she hovered down to the ground “Ok kid, come on out, it ain’t cool to eavesdrop on private conversations, you know. The guy has already suffered enough, well, maybe not enough. But as princess, I gotta draw a line somewhere.”

Fuck! She knew you were there the entire time?! Ok, play it cool, Anon, try to gain this cutie’s respect. You slowly slide out from the side of the rocks, acting confident. “Heya, yeah, about that, I was just walking around and just ended up in this cave. Didn’t even know what that’s all about, but it ain’t my business. So, uh, you’re Princess Ember, right? Lookin’ cool”

Ember just raises an eyebrow at you, finding you rather odd “Yeah, sure, ok then.” She was in disbelief that you seemed so ignorant to the point she didn’t really believe you “So you weren’t sneaking around to find out how badly I was chewing out Incen just so you could run back to Garble and his… Wait” Ember steps up to you, crouches down to about your eye level, and narrows her eyes towards you “I’ve never actually seen you before. And you’re way too puny to be hanging out with any of the tougher dragons. What’s your name, squirt?”

“Uhhh-uhmmm” Shit! You didn’t actually think of a name for yourself. Luckily, pop culture has given you many a cool dragon names to use for such an occasion. “I’m uh, Trogdor! The Burninator!”

“Ohhhheewww” Ember grimaced, even her arms shivered as if she just experienced something wretched “Definitely not hanging with any of the tougher dragons. Look, er, Trogdor? I am the princess, you know that. I could totally give you a new official name that won’t get you beaten up by like, everycreature. Because seriously? Even squirrels would laugh at you.”

The hell?! What was wrong with the name?! “What do you mean?! That name is wicked cool!”

“Yeah, sure. Look, I’m serious. How about, Burner? Or Grimstone! Yeah, that’s much better than... whatever you want to call that.” She actually felt sorry for you, as if that name was really that bad. Ugh, dragons just have no taste.

“I’m fine” You say with a grumble

“Not really, but whatever. Look, why are you really here? Can’t be for sightseeing, and it really can’t be to bully Incen, so what is it? Did you just want to talk to me about something?” Ember asked, keeping her patience, as she still felt rather sorry for you.

To talk? TO TALK! PERFECT! You can now use this opportunity to find out all the information you need. “Yeah actually, I heard a rumor something was gonna happen soon that was pony related? I dunno if it’s a good or a bad thing. But…” You kneel, acting polite “For you, Princess Ember, I will act as needed.”

“Oooook, now you’re just getting creepy. Relax, alright? Yeah, there’s something going on but it isn’t anything you have to worry about. It’s more of a matter of friendship. You know, that whole thing I’ve been wanting us all to try. If you heard some rumor about something, then you gotta know about that friendship school, right?” Ember asks you

“Princess Twilight’s school that’s opening up? Yeah, I heard about that”

“Well, there’s a dragon named Smolder I’m gonna enroll in the school. She’s pretty cool, but she’s got a bit of a mean streak that I feel is just her putting up a front. I want her to learn everything there is about friendship, and y’know, hopefully the others will follow. Though, making it public did start to get her messed with by the other dragons, and I kind of feel bad for that. Don’t peg me as mushy though, it’s totally not like that, It’s just, y’know...stuff.” Ember admitted, trying to act aloof and tough about it, when really, she was kind of showing that dragons did have a heart.

Huh, that actually kind of tugged at your heart for some reason. You were ready to write dragons off as major assholes altogether, but this sexy dragon chick, she didn’t seem as bad as the other dragons from the show. And although you haven’t met Smolder, if she’s another candidate like Ocellus, then she might be worth checking out… For reasons. Hey, you had good reasons! She sounded like she needed a friend! “I mean, I could go see how she’s doing, maybe be her friend if it’s really that bad.”

“You’re not gonna mock her or anything, right? Because dragons don’t typically say that kind of thing. Again, kinda creepy. Then again, with a name like that, Well…” Ember sighed and walked over to you, leaning down a bit to give you a pat “Gonna guess you’re probably looking for a friend yourself. Well, Trogdor, I would appreci- er, I give you permission to do that. She’s probably around somewhere, I think she was hanging out with Garble’s gang, something about a magma splash contest.”

“No, I’m not like that. And thanks, for the permission and for talking with me. Now I know why you’re the princess” You say with a grin, she really was kind of cool. And oh, even her headpats was kind of nice.

Ember shoots you a wink and a finger point “You know it, now get out of here, I gotta practice my rock smashing. Been kind of reading th- Just get out before I talk anymore. Already gotta do some writing too, and I really hate that.” Ember says, shooing you away out of the cave.

Well, that was actually a pleasant experience. And Ember was as cool as she was blue. But this Smolder girl, you wondered what kind of dragon she was if she was hanging out with Garble. You remember him from the show, well, that one episode of the show. He was a red dragon with yellow spikes and a bad and nasty attitude. So obviously he wasn’t a good influence when it came to friendship. Though, you had to really wonder why you cared so much as well. Was it due to Neighsay? Ok, sure, you shared some of his sentiments. But this didn’t seem as bad as he made it out to be, nor as much as you thought it could be. Relax, Anon, you’re not out of the woods yet. Ember was a princess, it was her duty to play it cool. But this Smolder can be a real bitch.

Using your wings, you slowly fly up to the sky to scan the area around you. There were many dragons around, flying and doing stupid shit, but you just needed to find some sort of lava pool and….there we go, you spot a group of dragons diving in a lava pool near the volcano in the distance. You decide to fly in low towards their position, and upon getting there, hide behind a few rocks yet again to listen in on what was going on… Hopefully not getting noticed this time.

“And that’s how you do a magma splash boys, pay up, I’m starving here!” There he was, Garble, simmering in the magma. He must have been one of the dragons that just dived in. Having seen the lava splash, it did seem rather impressive. There were a few other dragons, they all seemed rather miffed that they lost some sort of bet as they started pulling out gems. But then, a small orangish dragon with a yellow underbelly and purple spikes stepped up, her light blue eyes filled with anger and determination.

“Hey! I didn’t get my turn yet, Garble. What’s up with that?!” She said with a stomp

“I already told you, you already lost since you’re going to be hanging out with ponies. Besides, you weren’t gonna beat that anyway. Just give me your gems already and save yourself the embarrassment” Garble said, relaxing himself, laying back as if it was all good.

“I told you! I’m not ok with even going to that stupid school! And I’m not giving you anything until you let me have a try! Or are you scared I might be better than you?” The dragon said in a mocking tone. Huh, that had to be Smolder. And once again, unlike the other dragons, she was kind of cute.

Garble suddenly growled as he crawled out of the magma pool “Ain’t no dragon here who is better at this than I am. Fine, give it your best shot, so we can all laugh at you.” Garble said, already tapping his foot with impatience.

“Gladly, just make sure to have your gems ready.” Smolder said as she crouched down, flapping her wings hard as she jetted off into the sky “Here I come!” She said as she began to spin downwards into the lava. And true to her word, the splash she made was colossal. She sprang up from the magma, with a cheery smile, and held out her claws. “And there we go, the perfect splash. Pay up! You lost.”

“Nah, not really…” Garble said, feeling unsure and defeated as he shifted his eyes. Then a cruel smile was planted on his face as he looked to his friends. “Because you still lose points for being a sissy dragon.”

“A sissy what now?! Listen Garble, I won fair and square! Give me your gems and admit I’m better than you!” Smolder growled as she stepped out of the pool, demanding and furious as Garble played it cool.

“Since when do dragons care about ‘fair and square’? Wow, You really aren’t a cool dragon. Especially since you’re going to that school, so that means you lose points. Isn’t that right, guys?” Garble says as he gives a fierce glare to the other dragons. And of course, in typical fashion, they all start to agree with him out of either respect or fear, probably fear, or maybe they really were as much of a jerk as he was.

“Are you kidding me?! I still made the bigg-.....” But Smolder stopped when she could see on everyone’s faces that they weren’t going to change their minds. But it also only served to make her angrier “How about we see how fast I can knock you to the ground? How about that, huh?”

“You wanna go, Smolder? Come on then, bring it! Oh wait, hah, can’t even fight ya.” Garble says with a chuckle, looking at her arrogantly. “I mean, I would, but then the princess would get all up in my face. Not that I’m scared, but I like having a place to live, you understand. You’re the princess’ chosen one, the one who’s going to be all nice and proper when she gets back”

Smolder smacked her knuckles together as smoke started to flow from her nose “She doesn’t have to know.” She was really itching for a fight here, as if she really hated that comment more than she should.

“She doesn’t, but she will. But I’ll be nice, you can keep your gems… If you admit that I’m better than you.” Garble says, crossing his arms as he awaited her answer.

Smolder was shaking her fists. It was clear she just wanted to deck the guy, but she was holding back, as if there seemed to be some weight to his words. Smolder took her gems, and threw them at Garble’s face. It stunned him, but he was still pleased. Smolder kept in her rage as she started to turn around “Take em, I’m never gonna say you’re better than me.” Smolder says as she starts to flap her wings, hovering upwards to fly away.

“Whatever, I still got what I want.” Garble said as he began to laugh, the other dragons joining him as Smolder flies off.

Shit, maybe you should have jumped in and said something. But given your current look, it probably would have made things worse. Still, Smolder was separating herself from the group. You could fly after her; yeah, that is exactly what you’ll do. Make sure she’s ok, and help her out. It wouldn’t be just for her. That Garble, you wanted to make him pay.

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