• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 64 - The Wedding - Part 2

There were still a few ponies around, some just discussing things, others trying to get into town hall. Really, how were you supposed to approach the front door when everyone was just going gaga over nothing? It really was starting to annoy you rather quickly what a big deal everyone seemed to be making this. Hell, as you and Scootaloo approached the main entrance, you could see Number Four turning away an old rich unicorn mare, with a white grayish coat and a rather rich but casual looking dress, from the door. You couldn’t see her cutie mark behind the dress.

“Are you sure you can’t let me in? I can pay you double of what they’re paying you now.” Said the mare, trying to bribe Number Four into letting her pass.

But Number Four, being rather suave and smooth, merely bowed to her and apologized. “I’m truly sorry, Mrs. Golden, but I simply cannot allow you inside.”

“But why not? Not many ponies have gone inside already, there must be enough available space for quite a few ponies, especially for ones such as myself.” She was trying to be as polite, and perhaps, even as alluring as possible, but Four wouldn’t budge.

“Indeed, you are correct, we still do have some room. But understand this, this false wedding is meant to be imperfect. It is engineered to simply be on par. Now you, with your perfect elegance and beauty, would be enough to disrupt such a balance by making the wedding something everypony would truly want to come to. Sometimes, Mrs. Golden, allowing the desirables inside is what makes things undesirable.” Four says that last part with a chuckle, obviously saying it as some sort of joke.

The old pony known as Golden had herself a giggle, and bowed to Four “Oh my, I never thought of it that way. I would make things above average, wouldn’t I? You, sir, are very astute in your observations, and polite to boot.”

Four just waves his talons at her in jovial dismissal “You’re too kind, but I am simply a lowly clone of my originator, I do not deserve such words.”

“Oh, but you do! No offense to ‘him’, but you are polite and much more intelligent than he is. Clearly you should have been the Hero Colt’s father, if I do say so myself.” She tells him as she motions towards an old pony behind her, garbed in a black suit. He pulls out a parasol, and holds it over her. “It really is a shame. Oh well. Although, Princess Twilight’s castle is nearby, perhaps I could have a chat with her instead about that new school of hers.”

“I’m sure she’d be happy to talk about it. Fare thee well, Mrs. Golden.” Four said to her as he raised her hoof gently and gave it a kiss.

“Oh m-my” She said, blushing and flustered “You do know how to treat a lady. Ahrm, but let us not get too intimate, shall we? As you are well aware of, I am married”

“Yes, you are, but it is hard not to be polite to one so alluring. But now I speak of subjects I shouldn’t. I will leave you be to your devices, as I still have a duty to uphold.” Four said to her. After that, Mrs.Golden left with her butler, trying to hide her blushing face from the public. Seems she hasn’t been treated like a young lady in quite some time.

“Wow, he really is polite.” You were just watching from a distance, amazed how ANYTHING that came from Discord could be so nice and flattering. “It’s kind of creepy, coming from him.”

“C’mon, Anon, Number Four is cool! Really, he should be your dad, he’s pretty rad.” Scootaloo comments, obviously still seeing Number Four as this amazing guy that, while you agree he’s pretty damn great, he isn’t as cool as Discord is… Maybe. Christ, are you having a thought that he might be? He’s just a clone, a variant of Discord that was rushed out in a shorter time than when he usually does things. Then again, he lacks the mean and underhanded streak Discord has, which actually seems to make him boring as well, at least in your eyes. Sure, the chest thing was great, but… Hmm, it was pretty great.

Still, in the end, if he became the dominant force, that means the Discord you knew would be gone. Obviously, this is probably not how it actually works, but Discord, in the end, has given you so much, asking for so little in return… Sometimes. Yeah, you still prefer Discord, he has more personality and you’ve known him the longest. He was one of your best buds. “Scoots, I mean, sure, he’s great, but my dad has been pretty great too. He gave me this horn, this life, a home, and allowed me to make a bunch of great friends, including you. Sure, he can be a butt, but he’s a butt I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, not even a nicer clone.”

Scootaloo flinched at those words, and looked down, feeling shameful. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have even said that. Yeah, I guess Discord is pretty cool too, and he has been pretty awesome towards you when you put it that way. I guess I just wanted Number Four to be his own guy, that’s all. He doesn’t even seem afraid of disappearing at all. You’d think it’d be scary or something.”

“It’s fine. As for disappearing? Yeah, it sounds scary, but my dad has made independent acting clones before, and they never seem to care about it. Number Four, heck, all the clones are probably ready to disappear without issue. And…” You already knew Scootaloo really didn’t want him to go away. Did she see him as a father figure? Man, he got to her quick in such a short amount of time. Then again, girls can be pretty emotional like that. “I know you really like him, Scoots. I know he’s nice and neat and all that, but he’s just a clone, probably just a piece of my dad’s personality. Even he understands it. Plus, he mentioned my dad would gain his memories, right? He won’t really be gone, he’ll just bring his piece back to my Dad. If you’re willing, after that, I’m sure he’ll be pretty cool to you too, he already seems to trust you enough as is. I mean, he picked you as my best mare. Plus, knowing him, it’ll be a hilarious reaction when all of Four’s, and even Five’s, memories slap his brain. He’ll probably lose his mind over the fact that you’re now his actual friend through them. But in the end, I think he’ll secretly not mind that.”

“I-I guess that’s ok, sorta…” She clearly still was not comfortable about it. “But isn’t your Dad, like, even a jerk to his friends?”

“To Aunt Fluttershy? He’s like a kitten. To Spike and Big Mac? He’s pushy, but he does love to hang out with them and get his O and O in. With me? He knows he can push me the farthest with his shenanigans, but he probably, in the end, treats me at a level near my Aunt. You just got to get to really know him. You know what I mean? It’ll be fine, I promise.”

Scootaloo takes a deep breath, slowly accepting the reality that Number Four and Five would have to leave soon. She still felt, that if it was her, that knowing you’d have to disappear would be extremely scary to her. But if the others would be ok with it, and would remember her in some way, then maybe it’d be fine. “I believe you, and I know what you mean. It’ll be weird though…” She forces a smile “Suddenly having him as a friend. I know the girls won’t want to hang around him too much, but if he can be as cool as his clones, then I’m fine with it.”

“Cool, that’s good to hear. Really, it is" Good, she finally accepted it, just in time too "Heh, looks like the crowd is moving away too, let’s go say hi to Four and see what’s up” You say, walking forward towards Town Hall, with Scootaloo trailing behind.

“Ahh, I am glad I have eyes that do not deceive. Greetings, Anon, Young Scootaloo. You both are right on time.” Four says, as he does a polite bow to the both of you.

“Hey Number Four, saw you handle that old mare earlier, that was super smooth. Usually, rich ponies can be pretty mean.” Scootaloo comments, smiling up towards Four with a gentle grin.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Their type just have a lack of patience due to becoming used to convenience. Deep down, they are the same as you and I. Well, all of you anyway, if you understand what I mean. Oh, Anon, did you enjoy opening that chest? I admit, I don’t have a full grasp of chaos magic like our originator, but I believe leaving Number Five behind to fix my overdoing of things seemed to have worked out.” Number Four said. It seemed, much like you have, he overdoes chaotic magic casting.

You nod, it did make you nearly cry after all. “Yeah, it came out of nowhere. But it was so flipping cool to experience. Thanks for that, really.”

“It truly was nothing, a simple cast of chaos magic was all it really was.” Heh, Four was pretty humble too.

“Number Four, what’s going on inside? Are we late? Or early? And what’s up with turning so many ponies away? Is it really supposed to be that uhhh, what word would you use for it?” Scootaloo asked

“At this point? Par to slightly subpar would be the word, or words, I’d use. And believe it or not, you both are still quite early. They are still setting up inside, but most of the guests have arrived as well. Young Scootaloo, I really do apologize that I will be leaving soon, is there anything I can do for you before that moment comes?” Four asked, looking down on her with a pleasant smile. He just suddenly said that too, perhaps he could sense her worry and just wanted to let her know it'd be ok.

“Just promise me you and Five will be cool enough to say goodbye before you go, got it?” Scootaloo removes her sunglasses to give him a forlorn, but serious look, doing her best to keep things straight.

“You have my word. In fact, I’m sure Anon, with his wily ways, will find a way to make sure nothing goes wrong.” Four looks to you with a wink.

“Ah, trust me, I’ll guilt trip him to here and back if he even tries.” You say with a soft chuckle

“Ah, ever the cunning and crafty Anon. Well, before you both go inside, let me just say that Mrs. Rich is being rather demanding. I’d suggest doing what she says and staying out of her way. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you both.” Four says as he begins to open the door.

“Really? Sheesh, why is she acting like that?” Scootaloo asked.

“She invited some of the press inside. It seems she’s trying to make this whole event into something glamorous and chic while still being incredibly simple and unremarkable. In other words, she’s trying to make sure everything goes perfectly. So just prepare yourselves, and do as you’re told.” Four says as he steps aside after opening the door.

You nod “We will. There won’t be a problem out of us.”

“I know. Good luck you two, and especially to you, Anon.” Four tells you as you both head on inside.

Wow, everything was rather… Unremarkable. There were barely any decorations, no wedding cake, only a few random ponies on either side of the seats, and Mrs. Rich herself seemed to be having a chat with some ponies with cameras up towards the podium. Hell, even Starlight was up there with her, and she just looked utterly uncomfortable.

“Well well, look at you two, lookin’ pretty swanky.” Said a familiar voice of a filly from the bronx. You and Scootaloo look to your right to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Babs Seed, and… Spike? They were all sitting at the back row together, but it just made you wonder why. Well, in Spike’s case anyway.

“Thanks Babs, and heya! Oh, and hi girls! And er… Spike. How has everything been so far for you guys?” Scootaloo turned over to the group with an enthusiastic smile. Despite Four's report, she wanted to see how her friends have been handling things so far.

“Not much happened so far. Mrs. Rich has been doin’ all sorts of preppin with them news ponies up in front, Diamond Tiara is in the back gettin’ ready with Silver Spoon, Mr. Rich is with the mayor, and we just been waiting here waiting for y’all.” Applebloom said as she updated both you and Scootaloo on the situation.

“I kind of wish there were a little more decoration and stuff. This is supposed to be a wedding, but everything looks so drab. It’s not romantic at all.” Sweetie Belle whined.

“Isn’t that the point?” Spike asked “It’s supposed to be a cheap pretend wedding on purpose, right? Besides, the romantic part is when Anon and Diamond are up there saying their vows and stuff.” Spike suddenly stops and starts tapping under his chin, feeling like taking back some of his statement. “Then again, there isn’t even any cake or afterparty or nothing. I know if me and Rarity had a pretend wedding like this, it’d at least have a wedding cake.”

Nobody says a word on that, not even you, you all just stare as Spike at how fucking delusional he was being right now about his chances with Rarity.

Spike though, just shrugged it off, although he did have a slightly embarrassed blush on his face “Hey, I said pretend wedding.”

Everyone has a giggle at that, with Babs nudging him with a “suuuuure”. You, however, never got why everyone just laughs at statements like that, it wasn’t that funny.

“Annnnnnyway, what are you doing here anyway, Spike? Seems kind of weird seeing you hanging with the crusaders.” You ask him, seeing as he was out of place.

“I asked, how else? That Discord clone guy said only five friends of yours were allowed, and since I’m your friend, he let me through. But if you wanted a serious answer, Twilight suggested I should go. She got a letter this morning from that creepy Neighsay guy saying she can pretty much do whatever she wants with the school and now she’s all suspicious about it and stuff. I tried to tell her that he probably realized how important it all was and changed his mind on being such a tightbutt, but she thinks there’s more to it than that. I think she wanted me to go so she could try to figure things out herself without being told she’s being nuts. Opening up a new school has already been rough on her, and now this happens, it worries me, y’know? But I also know Twilight knows friendship is more important than anything else, so I’m sure she’ll figure out that making sure her school opens without a hitch will be on the top of her priority list.” Spike explains to you. It was clear he was worried about Twilight, but wanted to avoid pushing her buttons.

“O-oh, erm, y-yeah, that makes sense.” Oogh, you felt a sense of guilt on that one. But why should you? This is on Twilight. All she has to do is make sure her school is successful when it comes to nonponies and she’ll be golden. Really, she was just being a mental case. Just move on from it, Anon... “But, wait…” You then notice something that makes you count in your head. One, Two, Three, Four. There were only four friends on the seats, as you knew Scootaloo didn’t count since she was your best stallion… mare… filly. “Five? But there’s only four of you. Huh, where’s Big Mac?” Actually, you would have really loved Lyra and Bon Bon, but that would have made six.

The girls giggled at that as Sweetie spoke up about that. “He went to make a delivery for his special somepony. Which, considering how far he has to go, is super romantic. He’s willing to go that far, just for her. It’s really sweet.” She said with a longing sigh

“Heh, yeah, it really is. Never took cousin Big Mac as the romantic type, but then again, I wouldn't know since he doesn't say much.” Babs comments as she looks over to you with a smirk “Speaking of, you got a preview of your wedding vow, Anon?”

Wedding vow? Ugh, you still haven’t really come up with one yet. “Still working on it, actually.”

Sweetie belle just brought her hoof to her face on that “Of course you are, typical Anon.”

Godammit! Vows were hard! And it hasn’t been on your mind due to all the other shit you had to deal with! “Give me a break! I had a lot to deal with lately!”

“Like what?! Besides the exam thing, what else is more important than your wedding?!” Sweetie shouted at you.

You open your mouth to retort, but then you realize you can’t actually say it. Dammit, you can’t just say you were spying on Twilight’s students, it’d make you look bad. Well, worse than just saying nothing. Luckily, due to your hesitation, it gave Applebloom enough time to raise her hooves towards the both of you “Now relax you two, we don’t wanna have a fight right before the wedding!” Then she began to whisper as she looked over at Mrs. Rich “Besides, ah don’t wanna see Mrs. Rich lose her cool. She’s been pretty calm so far, but she’s also looked pretty easily irritable too.”


Sweetie Belle looks over at her, then sits back with a huff “Fine… I guess if you were really that busy, then it’s understandable.”

Damn right it was!

“What are you all fighting about? Whatever it is, perhaps the Great and Powerful Trixie can use her new and amazing powers of friendship to help you out in ways Twilight cannot.” Trixie says, as she just… suddenly appears from the far side of Sweetie Belle and sits down, looking at you all with an arrogant smirk.

“Trixie?... wait. Are you like, the fifth friend on my side?” Seriously?

“Mhmm, I am. I spent the night readying my wagon after Discord had it moved and…” Suddenly she just, fell asleep, leaning over and falling right on Sweetie. So much for fixing the problem, was she up all night 'fixing' up her wagon?

“U-ugh… She’s been doing this since she got here… A little help, please?” Sweetie asked as she began pushing up the sleeping mare off her body.

You almost laughed at that, but held it in the best you could to prevent causing a fight. But then something hit you. They were there, but where were Fluttershy and Discord? As Babs and Applebloom helped Sweetie, you looked to Spike to ask him about it. “Hey Spike, have you seen my Dad or Aunt Fluttershy yet?”

“Nope. Guess you didn’t run into em’ either, huh? That’s a little weird though, considering Discord could have just teleported here by now. And, considering Fluttershy would be looking forward to this, it doesn’t really make sense for him to wait around. Wonder what happened, I hope they're ok.” Spike said, showing some worry as he tried to mentally figure out what happened.

Hmm, actually, you could still contact him. After all, you both never removed the codecs from your ears. “Well, I could just contact him. Here, let me just…”

“Anon, Scoota…loo? Hm, yes, I think that’s your name.” Mrs. Rich said as she began to approach the both of you. Both you and Scootaloo felt a cold shiver down your spines as Mrs. Rich just appeared behind you, she must have finished discussing things with the newsponies. “Starlight, please take Anon’s best stallion and prep her for her role, I need to speak to Anon alone with my husband.”

“Hey, wait! I know what to do! This isn’t my first wedding, y’know? Besides, Anon needs me to help him get ready and stuff. Also, can we just say ‘Best Filly’, please? ‘Best Stallion’ just makes the whole thing sound... Uncomfy. Although, Heh…” Scootaloo chuckled to herself when she realized something. “ ‘Best Filly’, that just makes me sound super cool” she says quietly to herself.

“Yes, Yes, whatever you want, just please go with Starlight. I’d like everypony to be on point, smile, and not do anything to ruin the moment and…” She starts looking around when she realizes Discord and Fluttershy weren’t there, and in a dark voice she said “Where are they…?” Oh fuck, she was going into scary mode already.

“Mrs. Rich, please, remember, your own rules apply to you too… Erm. Anyway, I’m sure they’re on their way.” Starlight immediately realized what she meant, and did her best to keep her calm. “And remember, you said this was for Anon and your daughter, not for yourself. Let me handle Scootaloo, and you handle Anon. Alright? Remember, nothing is wrong, and nothing will go wrong. Your words, not mine.” Starlight was doing her best to defuse the already volatile situation. “Me and my assistant can handle it, alright, Mrs. Rich?”

Mrs. Rich looked to her, then you, then towards the other ponies in the gallery who began to get anxious. She then took a breath, and calmed herself. “Yes, you’re right. Thank you for reminding me. Come along, Anon, we have much to discuss.”

You didn’t even get a chance to speak with Discord, or Starlight, and all Scootaloo could do was whisper a good luck to you as Mrs. Rich took you past the podium and down a hallway to the right. You could tell her to wait, but Four suggested you do as she says. Probably really is the best advice at this point.

Oh boy, things were gonna get tough.

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