• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 105 - Another Bet?!

God, oh god, as you venture back towards the denser part of town, you thanked god and whatever horse gods there may be that the situation didn’t become a gigantic disaster. You actually had to take a moment to find a bench and lay down to get your mind off of things. “Christ, just… Ok, Anon. Finally, you’re alone, things are fine, things are going to be definitely fine." Yep, nah, things are good, why are you even upset? Especially when you had something else to focus on. You had some ‘students’ to find. But first, since you're catching your breath…

“Discord, yo, Discord.” You put a hoof to your ear and start calling for the daffy draconequus using your codec “You there?”

“Ah, Anon, how are things? Hmm, you sound rather exhausted.” Discord said

“I am, ummm… Look, I went to see Chrysalis, and I got some news.” You tell him. You might as well tell him, make sure you got defenses at every front just in case something happens. Hell, even Starswirl had your back, how could things go bad?

“News? Well, before you tell me anything, let me give you a few updates of my own. One, Fluttershy would love to see you in a barbarian outfit. After explaining most of our adventure in Hyrule, she became rather enamored in wanting to see her ‘hero colt’ in an ‘adorable’ costume. Don’t ask me why, she just has a thing for you looking adorable. Next update, well, actually, that was all the updates. So the only thing I really have to add is that somehow, even after all that training with Rainbow Dash, you seem terribly out of shape. You could join a buckball team, you know? Not like we don’t have a player in the family that could whip you into something better.” Discord told you with a bit of a mischievous chuckle.

“Dammit, Discord! I don’t need any more training and I don’t need to join some junior buckball league. You think Fluttershy is good? I’d fucking annihilate the opposition, no problem.” You bark back, but all you could hear was heavy laughter after you said that. Ugh, goddammit, you didn’t need to take this. “You don’t know shit, ok?! Shut up! I got important stuff to tell you anyway!”

“Yes, yes, Chrysalis is probably going to pull off some ‘big plot’ before she’s ready to actually try to live among ponies. I get it, can I go back to laughing at your silly comment now?” Discord said, annoyed.

“What?! How did you know that?! Were you eavesdropping or something?!” You said in surprise.

“Didn’t care to. Look, villain one-oh-one isn’t just a trope. Do you think anypony of any status would just give up when the end is near? No, we just up the ante and see whether we win or lose. I almost got away with it until it turned out I simply cared too much. If you think about it, Applejack is so stubborn that she’d try to pull a big anything before giving in. She’d done something like that before, hasn’t she? Even breaking one of those ‘Pinkie Promises’, if I heard correctly. Anyway, I don’t need to watch the show, you know? The way Fluttershy tells stories is much more entertaining.” Discord explains.

The fuck was he even talking about? “Fuck off, Discord, that wasn’t even the same thing! That was just a goddamn heel turn moment and you know it! Don’t go spouting bullshit when you know that deep down you’re a goddamn kitten when it comes to her! How do you not see that?!”

“Oh, well, that’s very easy. Observe.” As Discord says that, you suddenly hear a pop above you.

“What in the wFSDFSDAFDS” And then suddenly, you were engulfed in a pile of slimy eyeballs, all blinking, like a ball pit of creepy squishy eyes. “OH GOD! THIS IS GROSS! DISCOOOOOOOORD!”

“Oh don't yell, Anon, I just wanted to SEE what you mean! Have fun, Anon!” Discord says with a hearty laugh before cutting communications.

Goddamn it! Even as you reach for your horn, you could feel the slippery sliminess of all the eyeballs piled onto you, blinking, staring. You use your magic to make them vanish from your proximity, but you were still rather shiny from all the ‘tears’ that had smeared onto your coat. “...Dammit, Discord, geez. Still can’t fucking take it, can you?”

“Well, that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen you throw exploding mail.” Said a familiar voice from the side of the bench.

“Wha?!” You look in surprise to see… Smolder? She was just standing there, weirded out by the fact that she had seen you get piled on by eyes. “S-Smolder? W-what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in school or something?”

Smolder shrugged “I am, sorta. Class is on an assignment. Professor Pinkie wants us to say hi to everycreature in town. I don’t really get it, but whatever. So, uh, what was all that about? Or do you just like taking ahh…” Smolder began to show a hint of disgust as she saw how gross you looked “taking random… weird… whatever… baths?”

Oh god, you must have looked gross and goofy right now. “Ugh, don’t look at me like that, this is just because of my Dad. Give me a second.” You slap on your horn one more time, and this time, make quick work of the goo on your body by using a million tiny squeegees to push the liquid into the void. “...There, a lot better.”

“And still weird.” Smolder puts her hand to her hip and points to you with the other as she lets out a gentle chuckle “But hey, uh, that’s you. Um… Woo, this is tough.” Smolder then looked away as she rubbed the back of her head. “Actually, since I ran into you and all, we’re still cool, right? That whole ‘stop everything and make it blue’ thing was really ominous and spooky. Seemed like you were really angry at me.”

“Heh, like I said before, we’re still cool.” You tell her, giving her a cool smile as you do.

“Great! Anyway, you haven’t run into Yona yet, right?” Smolder asked.

“No, I was actually gonna check out your whole class just now, but I guess you’re all walking around town. She still on the whole ‘fight the hero colt’ thing?” Heh, because you were ready to defend your title.

“She still is. I even got a bet going with this griffon named Gallus on this one. Though, if you’re gonna take her on, it’s gotta be away from Ponyville.” Smolder said as she began to look to the side, towards a road that went away from the town.

“Oh, heh, well, I can work with that. And don’t worry either, I’ll make sure you win that bet.” You tell her as you give her a wink.

“I mean, I bet against you, so if you just wanna throw the fight, that’d be ok with me.” Smolder said with a shrug.

“Yeah, I know, I’m pre-WHAT?! Why would you bet against me?! So what, this guy I don’t even know bet against Yona then?!” Like, what the fuck?! You shredded her brother, so what gives?!

“Oh, no, he bet against you too. Like I said, I got a bet going with Gallus... against Silverstream. I don’t think she even realized that it’s gonna be a headbutting content, she just put a bet down because she has this huge thing for you.” Smolder explained.

GYAH?! WHAT?! You were stunned, just utterly stunned. What the fuck, man! You’re the prince of goddamn chaos, how could anyone bet AGAINST you at all!? “A-are you serious?! Even after what happened with your brother?! I whupped his butt like it was nothing!”

“Hey! C’mon, don’t mention that, and not so loud! Ugh…” Smolder groaned as she hung her body back “Look, I was just making the safest bet, ok? Yona shakes the entire place up when she stomps her hooves down, so, y’know, seemed like a smart bet.”

You walked up to Smolder really close and narrowed your eyes at her, you just couldn’t believe she’d bet against you. “You can’t be serious.”

“Anon, look.” Smolder very gently places her hand on your forehead and slowly pushes you back “I’ve known Yona longer than you, and it isn’t even by that much. Don’t get annoyed with me because I chose her over you, ok? She’s big, and you’re really small. Plus, this kind of thing doesn’t involve your weird horn thing, so there, ok? It’s nothing against you at all.” Smolder groaned once again as she began to rub her forehead for relief “Look, it’s not a big thing, I made a choice, that’s all. If you want, I can go find Yona and get this whole thing set up, how does that sound? That way we can see if you're really all that.”

“Yeah, go do that, I’ll be waiting inside the Colosseum by the train station.” You tell her as you pose in a strong stance.

“Aren’t they still remodeling that for the school?” Smolder asked

“Oh, er, then just meet me outside of town, that way!” You point towards another road that led out of town towards the forest path with the river on the side. “I’ll be waiting for you all there. And be prepared, because I’m totally gonna win.”

“Sheesh, Anon, calm down. It’s not that big a deal. Also, don’t let any of the professors or Headmare Twilight know. And if you see this green pony named Sandbar or Ocellus, don’t tell them about it either. They’re cool and all, but they aren’t ok with this whole thing. I don’t know why, considering Yona is dead set on this.” Smolder, it seems, was in on a secret bet between Silverstream and Gallus. Looks like you’d be able to meet Yona and Silverstream in one go too, haha! “They’d think somecreature would get hurt or that it’s wrong or something. I think it’s just settling something for Yona so she can get over it and focus on friendship stuff.”

She’s gonna be focusing on the asshurt when you’re done with her. “Sure, whatever. You’re still talking as if I’m gonna lose.”

“I gotta choose one, Anon. I’m still your friend, and I still think you’re cool. It’s nothing personal, I’m just helping another friend. Yaks have this whole pride thing going on and I just want her to relax about it, ok?” Smolder again tries to get you to relax, not seeing how this was all a big deal. "And make some gems on the side..."

“Trust me, with my head, I don’t think she won’t have much pride left when I’m done with her.” Fuck this, man. How could anyone, ANYONE, think you’d lose at a headbutting content? That was like, your bread and butter! You felt insulted, and knew you had to pull out all the stops to beat this yak.

“Wow, that’s a little dark, isn’t it? I didn’t know you were that pridef-Oh no, geez!” Smolder’s eyes go wide for a moment before she goes and slaps her face. “Nevermind, I think I just realized why Sandbar and Ocellus wouldn’t want this to happen. Oh wow, I feel bad all of a sudden. Weird, considering this kind of thing doesn’t usually bother me.”

“What are you talking about?” Serious, what was up now?

“Her pride, your pride. I just realized this will be hurting one of you pretty bad, depending on who wins. And I guess…” Smolder brings a hand to her heart and grimaces “...That’s not a thing I should let happen. Egh, yeah, I think that’s a friendship lesson I learned on my own alright. Great, now I gotta call off the bet and try to convince Yona not to fight. Dunno how I’m gonna do that one though.”

Wut? “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, uh, well, I just learned a friendship lesson on my own. Like, I just thought about it really hard and my chest started to hurt, so I guess that’s a sign. Look, Anon…” Smolder sighed as she began to apologize. “Sorry about all that, I guess I wasn’t thinking after all. You nor Yona should have your pride shattered over a silly bet or honor fight or anything like that. We gotta call this whole thing off.”

Oh, fuck that, you weren’t gonna chicken out of this one, not with something to prove. “Oh, I don’t think so. She wants to challenge me? Then I’ll take her on and prove that I’m better.”

“Anon, no, come on. Look, Yona is really sensitive, alright? And apparently so are you. She really wants to fit in at school, and has a hard time too due to being, I dunno, a yak? And I guess, since we all clicked so well, that I’d feel bad if she did lose. But considering how cool you are and how you kind of helped me even though you overdid it, well, I don’t want you to be hurt because you lost too. So, yeah, can we just call this whole thing off?” Smolder asked, really feeling the guilt build up within her.

“Nope! If she wants to prove she’s better than me, then let her. Just to let you know though, she isn’t actually going to prove it.” Because, again, unbeatable head.

“Come on!” Smolder raised her arms up, surprised as you. “I’m saying please here! Sheesh, you’re as stubborn as her. Maybe I really did make the wrong bet. Really, the only way to even salvage that one is to… Wait.” Smolder stopped herself, and then began to ponder. Were you really that strong? She couldn’t deny that despite her brother also being rather hard headed. You did indeed show him up on that front. She began to consider that you did have some chance of winning, and if that was the case, then… “Anon, look, ok, I get it. You got a really strong head, you proved that when you went against Garble. If you really think you could pull it off that much, and if you really still want to go through with it, could you at least try to make it a tie or something? That way nocreature gets hurt. Emotionally, I mean. I’ll even sweeten the deal.” And that last part she only brings up due to the pain of the guilt she felt. “If there’s anything you want, anything at all, for one time only, I’ll do it. How does that sound?”

Fuck that, what could this fucking dragon. This… Cute, er, adorable, hot… Well, she couldn’t do that… But. “So, if I, like, go easy on her, you’ll do something for me?”

Smolder was already being weirded out again, something about your sudden shifty smile you were giving her put her on edge. “Yeah? But, nothing weird, alright?”

Oh god, she had fucking hands, claws even. You look left and right for Diamond or Silver Spoon. You knew Diamond was with her father, but you still had to check. And when it comes to Silver, if she saw what you were about to ask, she’d rat you out in a second. “Ok, alright, I’ll do it.” You say as you hop back onto the bench, placing your horn on your head to make you and Smolder invisible to everyone but you and her, without her even noticing what was going on. This, you felt, would totally make sure you weren’t spotted or some rumor spread or whatever.

“Great! And woah, that was easy. So, uh, what do you want then?” Smolder asked.

You roll onto your back and expose your tummy to Smolder. “I want my tummy gently scratched.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what?” Smolder looked around to see there was some ponies coming this way and passing by. There was, but they didn't seem to notice anything. But even then, that kind of request was super awkward to her. “Why?”

Oh god, did you really just ask for that?! OH GOD?! DID YOU REALLY WANT THIS?! YOU HAD TO HAVE THIS, JUST FUCKING ONCE! THIS WAS WORTH YOUR BATTLE PRIDE! DIAMOND, SHE HAD TO FORGIVE YOU IF SHE EVER FOUND OUT! “I just want to know what it feels like, that’s all. It’s a… I just heard somewhere dragon claws feel real nice on the belly. Like, it’s a therapy thing.”

“Yeah, but that still sounds really… Ugh, ok ok.” Smolder sighs. She thought this was really REALLY off. But if she was going to avoid another foul up, she just decided to suck it up and do it. As weird as it was, it didn’t seem outlandish or complicated. “Just don’t smack me if I accidentally scratch hard or something.” She reluctantly brought her claw down on your belly and began to gently and halfheartedly scratch along the sides of it in a circular fashion.

You begin to drool near immediately as you go limp, moaning softly as she massaged your tummy. Oh god, she was hitting everything just right! This feeling, it was the caress of gods, and it felt soooo good. You could go on like this fore- Wait, why did it suddenly stop? You look up, and you could already see Smolder walking away. “W-what? What just happened? Where are you going?”

“Gonna go get Yona, Silverstream, and Gallus, where else would I be going?” Smolder said as she opens her wings. “I get it, it looked really enjoyable and is probably a pony therapy thing. But, Anon? Yeah, a little too weird for me. But a whole minute of that was enough, right?”

IT WAS A MINUTE?! IT ONLY FELT LIKE 10 SECONDS! GYAAAAAH! Ugh, how were you going to argue when you lost track of time that bad? Ugh, you betrayed your sensibilities and your senses for essentially nothing, not to mention your honor. Ugh, well, as long as Diamond doesn’t find out. Although, now that you knew how it felt, maybe giving Diamond a ‘dragon claw’ that fits on the hoof doesn’t sound like a bad idea.“Y-yeah, it was… O-ok, and I’ll hold up my end of the deal. Let me just...” You say as you put on your horn, and make you and Smolder visible to all again. "Alright, that's that."

“Ok then, seeya later, Anon. Let’s never ever mention this to anycreature.” Smolder said as she flew off, still rather weirded out.

“Yeah…” Well, at least you learned something new. Dragon belly scratches are the shit. But god, at what cost? Why did you even just blurt that out?! Dammit, for years, many a pony fan wanted to be ponies and get belly rubs. It just sprung up! Diamond has no reason to be upset at a hidden desire! But oh god, did this lose you friendship points with Smolder?! Nah, no, that therapy explanation is legit. Yeah, Anon, you’re smooth as fuck. Ha ha…

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