• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 77 - Typical Twilight

And so you and Diamond made your way to Twilight’s castle. She made some small talk, talking about how gorgeous the castle looked and such, always being some sort of beautiful monument of princessness and such. At this point, you’ve gotten used to the castle being there, so all you had to say it that it did look nice, and that was about it. Getting inside was easy enough as well, Twilight, to this day, still never locks the damn door, so it was easy for you both to just step into the main entrance hall. However, you both stop after crossing the hall, right before the doors to the cutie map room. “Ok, here we go. Diamond, are you sure you want to do this? This can be really serious. Princess Twilight isn’t exactly ok with Chrysalis in the first place.”

Diamond gives you a soft sigh, she looked slightly annoyed by your words, but she calmed herself just as quickly as it came, if only because she cared about you that much. “Well, we wouldn’t be here if it was going to be easy, right? But she’s still a princess, meaning she will still listen and understand that we’re trying to help a friend. Trust me, it’ll work out, you just need to know how to be diplomatic. Here, watch this.” Diamond says, as her determination and bravado was something to behold as she just… Stepped right through the doors. You reached out to stop her, but not only was she just stepping forward without slowing down, but Twilight was already at her chair, reading some sort of book as she happily hummed to herself. Well, at least she looked like she was in a good mood.

“Oh, I just can’t wait to meet everycreature tomorrow. Thank Celestia I have the entire day to relax and mentally prepare myself. Everything has been planned out, everycreature is ready, Chancellor Neighsay has been reasonable more and more by the moment, and everycreature seems eager to learn about friendship. That’s right, Twilight, it’s resting time! Just you, your castle, and a nice book to read.” Twilight said to herself, giggling as she made herself comfortable further to continue reading her book. Did she really have to say that out loud? Seriously, she seemed as bad as you when it came to talking to oneself.

Diamond, not caring if she was actually intruding or not, quickly creeps up on Twilight’s side before you had any time to react. While she was ready to discuss things as she said, she was also excited to be so up close to Twilight. Finally, in one large burst, she jumps onto the right arm of her chair and yells out “GOOD AFTERNOON, PRINCESS TWILIGHT!”

“BWAH!” Twilight throws her book up in surprise and falls off the other end of her chair. She then quickly got back up and slowly peered over the side of her seat to see Diamond Tiara peering from the other with a great big smile. It took Twilight a moment, but she recognized her, and upon doing so, looked back to notice you as well. “Diamond, Anon? Is the wedding over already?” Twilight then slowly stood up, feeling relief. She put on a smile, and more properly greeted you both. “Sorry I couldn’t come, your mother really didn’t want my friends and I showing up. But…” Twilight giggled to herself “If you’re both here for a princess’ blessing, then you’re in luck, I’d be happy to give it to you both. Hmm…” Twilight then began to ponder on that as she climbed back onto her seat “Although, I’m not exactly sure how that works. I don’t know if I just congratulate you both or if there’s some ceremony. Thinking about it now, I really should do some more reading on proper princess etiquette.”

“Oh, that’s very nice of you to offer that to us, Princess Twilight. But uhm, we’re actually here to talk to you about Queen Chrysalis.” Diamond says, plunging her spear of diplomacy right into Twilight’s face. You grimaced hard, took a step back, and shivered. Geez, what a straight throw that was.

“Oh, is that all? Well, let me just… WAIT WHAT?!” Twilight exclaims, once again prompting her to fall off the side of her chair, slamming her face onto the ground with a massive face plant. Diamond, utterly confused, looked to you with great puzzlement as to why Twilight was acting like that. You just shrugged, it was all going to fast for you to properly answer. Twilight raises her head above the side of her chair once more, looking to Diamond with an intense stare. “Did you say what I think you said?”

“U-umm, yes? Is there a problem, Princess Twilight?” Diamond asked, finally faltering as Twilight’s reaction started to make her feel rather uncomfortable.

“Is there a problem?! Of course there’s a problem!” Twilight, already entering her usual frantic manic mode, hovers upwards as she looks to you in surprise. “What have you told her?! What is going on this time?!”

“Hey!” Already going accusatory? Christ Twilight, way to go! “I told her the truth! I told her how it was between me and her, and everything else in between. She deserved to know! What’s wrong with that?!”

Twilight was about to berate you, until she realized she couldn’t really berate you for something like that. She began to realize the only reason she was actually frustrated was because she could already tell this was only going to be a repeat of you trying to reform her in some way. “There’s actually nothing wrong.” Twilight hovered downwards, still focusing on you as she landed behind her seat. “Telling her the truth is the right thing to do. But let me ask this, are you both here about reforming her in some way?”

“Mhmm… But why are you acting like that’s a bad thing, Princess Twilight? Isn’t reforming a good thing? I-it… Well…” Diamond’s heart sunk a little as she once again thought about how she used to be. She then looked back to Twilight with some reinforced determination, realizing it was all in the past. “It’s something I’d think would be important for anypony who is bad to go through.”

“And I believe in that too, I really do, but Chrysalis hasn’t been seen in quite some time. And as I understand it, she has vowed revenge against the princesses. She’s too dangerous, and she’d have to be dealt with accordingly before any kind of reforming could even happen. You’d even have to take in the possibility that reforming her is also an impossibility. She had a chance right there and then to join her changeling children, especially since reforming a changeling has the added benefit in that they don’t need to starve from or feast on the love of others anymore. It seems clear to me that all Queen Chrysalis wants is domination over Equestria, and that’s why I’m not allowing this conversation to go further than that.” Twilight was being quite forward and authoritative, clearly still tired of having to hear anything about Chrysalis at this point.

Diamond faltered, she had no idea Twilight would be this immediately forceful and conclusive. Seeing Diamond spooked, and hearing Twilight throw out one of her retarded judgements made you step forward, ready to take her and her arguments on. “Or so you assume. Sheesh, Twilight, we wouldn’t be here about Chrysalis unless there was some NEW information about her. Namely, her appearing at our wedding.”

“Her appearing at your-WHAT?!” Twilight once again falls over, tripping backwards over her seat and falling onto her back, smacking her head right on the side of her chair.

Diamond looked back at you, more confused than ever. “I-is she always like that?”

“Mostly, she just likes to panic a lot.” You retort, not giving a damn at this point, Twilight was being an asshole.

“I do not panic a lot!” Twilight said, quickly standing back up, her mane and tail having hairs out of place, her eye twitching from her increasing manicness. “But you can’t just come in here and say that she showed up at your wedding! Because, yes, that will cause some panic. C’mon, Anon, this isn’t a joke. Do you realize you could start a REAL panic by lying about something like that?”

“But he isn’t lying? She really was there.” Diamond said, her confusion to Twilight’s attitude becoming never ending.

“W-what? Ha ha, she was at your wedding? Hahahaaa she was there? And I wasn’t there to defend everypony? Just slipped right in, and caused trouble right under my nose.” Twilight was becoming delirious at this point, she honestly couldn’t take in that Chrysalis once again possibly crashed a wedding, ponies already possibly taken or obliterated before she could do anything. “Right under all our noses.”

Oh yeah, she was losing her marbles already. Typical goddamn Twilight, she just couldn’t take even the possibility of something going out of her control. No one was hurt, no one was drained, hell, no one even actually knew she was fucking there except goddamn Starlight. You had to tell Spike, Discord, and Fluttershy about it after the fact. “She didn’t do anything, Twilight. Do you really have to act like this? Even Aunt Fluttershy and Spike knew she was there. You’re overreacting.”

“Y-your aunt knows? And S-spike too?” Twilight asked, wobbling around, her mind hazy as she felt woozy from her crazed thoughts. “A-and nopony thought to tell me about this?!”

“It only j-just happened, Princess Twilight. E-everything is ok though. All she did w-was talk with Anon, and we learned some really important t-things through that. A-are you alright? Y-you’re acting like you don’t want to help her at all, e-ever. She’s like a sister t-to me, you have to help her.” Diamond was growing timid. Unlike her time with visiting Princess Luna during your first real date, Princess Twilight was turning out to be nothing like she thought she really was.

“D-did you say sister?” Twilight asked, as she began to lean back, her panicked smile going wider.

“Y-yes?” Diamond answered hesitatingly.

“Oh ok, that’s what I thought. Well, if you’d like to talk about it later, that would be fine.” Twilight, with her hair still out of place, suddenly calms down to her usual self, as if nothing happened.

“What?! Twilight, we are being one hundred percent seri-oh, oh geez.” Your words are cut short as Twilight suddenly falls over to her side, falling unconscious as her mind finally overloaded. “Welp, her brain fried.”

“Princess Twilight?! Anon, is she going to be ok?!” Diamond began to panic herself, and rushed towards the fallen mare. She lifted one of her legs to see if it’d move, but it just fell lifelessly, the only signs of movement on Twilight right now was her gentle breathing.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Her brain is just rebooting, that’s all.” You began to calm down. For now, it was over. You’d only get a small break before Twilight wakes up again. You’d get your chance, and she’d hopefully be more calm when you do. For now, you were going to go loot her kitchen. “Nothing to do now but wait.”

“Rebooting? What does that mean? And why does she hate Queen Chrysalis so much?” Diamond asked, as she began to walk away from Twilight’s fallen form, following you aimlessly without realizing what you were doing.

“Oh, it just means she’s calming down before she wakes up. As for why she hates her so much. Well, to be fair, she did attack Canterlot, beat down Princess Celestia, and tried to hurt her family.” you answer, heading down a hallway full of doors as you looked around for a kitchen entrance.

“I remember hearing about that. But that’s when she was totally bad, right? She’s not like that anymore, otherwise she’d have tried to do something evil again, like trying to hurt you or something.”

You suddenly came to a sudden stop as you felt a cold chill run down your spine, as you know she was there to do EXACTLY that. But if Diamond or Twilight knew that, your plans could be sunk. So what do you say then? Well, that was obvious. “Yeah, nah, she’s totally super not like that anymore. And I’m sure Princess Twilight will understand that when we get the chance to talk to her again.”

“I hope so…” Diamond said with a depressed tone. She began to rub her head along your side for comfort, as she did not expect in the slightest for Twilight to be so difficult.

You expected it in some capacity though, just not in a way that’d knock her out. Like fuck, you haven’t even gotten to reminding her about her promise, which she seemed to have clearly forgotten.

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