• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,156 Views, 1,145 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 95 - Bon Bon's Advice

You just sat there for awhile, just looking around Cozy’s room, wondering what you should do next. Well, what you should probably do is consult someone you can trust about Chrysalis. You had to make sure your plan was perfect. Perfect, not only in your own way, but in a way a pony like Twilight would do it just to cause a heel turn shift. Chrysalis was a tough cookie to crack, and you needed just a little bit of a pony advantage on her to help you convince her. Essentially, you needed a season ender way to convince her to convert that was also in your style so it wouldn’t seem too pansy or pathetic. You had to make sure this works, so you needed to make sure you had all your bases covered.

So who would help you with this endeavor? Well, none other than Bon Bon and Lyra of course, the only two adult mares you could trust one hundred percent with something like this without getting some sort of lecture like Twilight or Starlight would give you. Plus, Bon Bon was smart, so that was a major plus. It’s not like you truly needed the help, you just felt you needed a little… Ugh, you just wanted some reassurance, that’s all. Yeah, that’s not too bad! You can do it! But what if she won’t help? Nah, Lyra will be happy to help! And with her wanting to help, so will Bon Bon.

Yes, once you figure something out, you’ll totally be able to help Chrysalis without an issue. Hell, you already felt confident since Cozy Glow was a nice warm up. Yeah, you got this, no problem.

So what about after the consultation? You planned to see Chrysalis tomorrow once you had everything finalized, but what about today? You had unlimited power, and you wanted to strut your stuff, but how? Wait… WAIT! What better way to strut your stuff than to battle Starswirl himself! Yesssss, what better way indeed. You had thought about it before, and you didn’t like him too much considering he seemed to only see you as some sort of test subject, so why not let him test you? Why not beat his test, beat his ass, and then gloat about it? You, Anon, defeating the legendary Starswirl the Bearded.

Man, it was a good idea. You didn’t know what he was up to these days, but you were sure that the guy still had to be on top of his game. Yeah! This was an awesome idea! In fact, you place your hoof on your ear and activate your codec to contact Discord, you wanted to know how he felt about you bringing glory to the ways of chaos by beating Starswirl in a fight. “Discord, yo, Discord.”

“Hmm? Ugh, Anon, did you have to call right now? I’m in the middle of making a sweet feast for all of us tonight. Decided to make it a family affair. So, unless this is important, I’d like to have some focus if you don’t mind.” Said Discord.

Ugh, him sounding annoyed really put a dagger through your good mood. Whatever, he was busy, just say what you need to say and move on. Although you did wish he was more excited to hear what you had to say. “Oh, uh, I was just calling to say that I decided I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna challenge Starswirl in a bit, trounce him, and make sure glory is brought to our name. Uh, how does that sound?”

But there was silence.

“Discord?” Did he hang up on you?

“Go on… Surely you have a little more than that. Tell me, just tell me, do you plan on utterly crushing him? Or just beating him?” Discord asked, his tone becoming a little malicious. "Seems a little random that'd you even challenge him. Unless you finally went mad with power."

"Nah, just want to put all this power to good use!" Oh baby, here we go! Now you got his interest. “Dude, I’m gonna obliterate his ass, non-fatally of course. Think about it, imagine how much you can hold this over Twilight that me, your adopted son, beat the greatest unicorn magician there ever was.”

“Hm? Oh no, I have no interest in rubbing it in Twilight’s face.” Discord said, in a bored fashion.

Wut? “Are you joking me? She’d have a meltdown for sure knowing I beat Starswirl.”

“Anon, she has a meltdown over everything. No, I say we hold it over Celestia and Luna. Now those two finding out you beat Starswirl would truly be hilarious. I think Celestia would be more in denial of it than Luna.” Discord said

“Oh man, you think they’d react that badly? Huh? Why Celestia? Luna seems more like the type to be in denial.” Like seriously, Luna can’t even admit she likes multiple stallions.

“Trust me, Celestia will have more of a reaction. She always had a better understanding of him than Luna has, so his defeat will cause her to lose a few of her marbles for a little bit.” Discord explained

“Huh, interesting, aaaannnddd something I’m looking forward to. Trust me, Discord, I’m gonna wipe the floor with him.” You said, chuckling darkly at the thought of defeating such a legend.

“Hmm, in that case, I’ll make sure to prepare a special something for you for tonight. And speaking of which, do be sure to show up at the cottage at sundown, Anon, with something cute to wear. You can make it, can’t you?” Discord asked

“Sure thing, no problem. I’ll do this thing I gotta do, beat Starswirl, then come to the cottage to wrap up the day.” You tell him.

“You make it sound so casual. Well, anyway, I need to finish my baking, so you have a pleasant and victorious day, Anon.” Discord said.

“I will, trust me, I will.” You tell him as you close the line. Oh yeah, with unlimited power, there was no way you could lose to Starswirl. There was simply no way.

And with that, you focus your horn towards Bon Bon’s house. Within a flash of light, you appear right in front of her door. “Alright, be casual, Anon. You know they love ya.” You take a deep breath and knock on the door. “Bon Bon, Hi! Are you in there? It’s me! Anon!” You call out.

You hear the door unlock and open with Bon Bon standing behind it, and she looked a little aggravated. Though, she puts on a smile when she sees it is you. “Anon, hey! What brings you here?”

“Oh, I just came to talk to you about something. Erm, is something up? You look a little tense.” Like, yeah, you had to wonder what was bothering her to make her look perturbed when she opened the door.

“I’m just aggravated with myself. Was supposed to go to Canterlot today to meet up with Lyra and her friends there. But somehow, SOMEHOW, I lost the ticket… Wait, you wouldn’t have a charge on that horn, would you?” Bon Bon asked as she glanced down at it.

Heh, well now, this can work. Your head was already plotting. Trade a consultation to a teleport to Canterlot, no problem. Looks like you wouldn’t need Lyra afterall. “Yeah, and I already know what you’re thinking, and I’d be glad to teleport you to Canterlot if… You help me with a problem first? Erm, it’s nothing too big, I just wanna talk about something, that’s all.”

Bon Bon took a sharp breath, closed her eyes, and opened her door wide for you as she stepped aside. “Ok, I already know what this one is about, step on through and we’ll talk about Chrysalis.”

Oh… Huh… She figured it out that quick, huh? “Uhm, how’d you know I wanted to talk about that?” You ask as you step through.

“Because I’m not dumb. I was waiting for this to happen eventually, considering we knew she showed up at the wedding. And before you ask, the body language of your friend Starlight was really telling.” Bon Bon said, looking stoic as she sat herself on her couch, laying on it like a cat and making enough space for you to sit. “So let me guess then, you’re finally gonna go out and reform her, right? Looking for some advice?”

Fucking shit, she was really on point. It was so unreal that it made you feel a little nervous as you climbed up on her couch and sat, looking at her directly yet reluctantly. “E-erm, yeah, that is it. Erm… To be specific, I just want to add a little pony into my plan, that’s all. I think maybe a little of the simple gentle stuff ponies are capable of might help me, erm… I just don’t know exactly how to go about it.”

Bon Bon just scoffed, finding your line of thinking ridiculous. “Losing your confidence already? Wow, Anon… C’mon, you KNOW that won’t work on her. She became your friend because of who you are, and I know you’re smart enough to know that I didn’t need to tell you that. But I can guess why you thought you needed my help with this though. You’re getting close to making your attempt, and you just don’t want to make a mistake, even doubting your usual methods. I mean really, you managed to reform a few bad ponies so far with your usual stuff, so there’s no reason to try a ‘pony’ method, as you call it. Look, me and Lyra are the best of friends because of how we connect with each other. I’d do anything to make Lyra’s day better just like she would do the same for me, and I feel you and Chrysalis have a similar friendship, a friendship that none of you want to see end. It’s only tough because of her wanting to stay evil and not being well liked by anypony, and you’re afraid of not only not being able to reform her, but also the possibility of nopony wanting her to be around anyway. Well, let me tell you something, Anon. A little after your wedding, we went trying to find Chrysalis ourselves so we could try befriending her, what do you think about that?”

...Woah… How long did Bon Bon have this speech prepared? And wait, WHAT?! “SERIOUSLY?! You guys actually went after her too?! Why?! Did you find her?!”

“Eh heh…” Bon Bon chuckled nervously “Actually, I was ready to try to stop her myself, but it was Lyra’s idea to try to talk to her and make friends with her. I was totally against it… But then she gave me those eyes and told me how much you’d appreciate it and offered dinner and… Well, I caved. We didn’t find her though, and given she didn’t seem to cause any trouble at the wedding, I’d say she’s not as much of a threat as anypony fears she might be. Certainly a relief for me, I deal more with monsters than masterminds. Anyway, I think you should do what you usually do and talk to her, while also coming up with a little extra to help convince her. Dunno what that extra is, but you’ll figure it out. Also, I suggest you let somepony know what you’re up to, just in case something goes awry. Just to let you know, I’m prepared to come get you if you screw up… So don’t screw up.”

“Well, I already got the princesses ok to do this. Like, all four of them.” You inform her.

“Really? Wow, ok then, you’re more prepared than I thought. Still, you should take some extra precaution just in case. They may call you the ’Hero Colt’, but you’re not invincible. Either way, I know you can do it.” Bon Bon says with a confident grin, making you feel more relieved with yourself.

“You really think I can do it? You’re not going to tell me it’s too dangerous to try this at all?” You ask, just to make sure.

“Look, I know if anything does go wrong, and I mean really wrong, Discord will turn her inside out. Lyra heard from Pinkie Pie that Discord is a lot more protective than he looks, so I think you’ll be alright.” She says with a nod, truly feeling everything should go ok.

Well, damn, this was quite the talk. MAN, YOU FELT ENEEERGGIIZZEED! This is gonna be no problem! Fuck, not only will that not be a problem, but Starswirl is gonna get his ass really beat now that you could focus on making sure he suffers a humiliating defeat! BWHAHAHAHA! “I think so too! Thanks, Bon Bon, I’m really glad I came to you!”

“It’s no problem, Anon, that’s what friends are for. Now, I really should get going so… If you don’t mind?” Bon Bon said as she hopped off the couch, ready to be teleported. “And don’t forget to lock the door on your way out.”

“Gotcha, let me just…” You put your horn on your head and aim at Bon Bon, making her instantly vanish in a flash of light. “Bam! And there we go! HAHA!” Oh baby, tomorrow is gonna be a REAL trip. Chrysalis is gonna reform and she might even agree to room with you again! It’ll be like having your sister ba-....Mnnnn. She really was like a big sister to you at times, wasn’t she? Hmmm, you had to make sure this would work out, so you really were gonna need that edge.

WAIT! Diamond Tiara! HAHA! Bring her along with you, of course! She wants to reform Chrysalis too, and her and Chrysalis seem to like each other enough. Brilliant, Anon, brilliant! And it’s not like Diamond will say no, she’s too into you to say that! All you gotta do is talk to her when you can and set up a ‘date’ for the morning. Man, Anon, you are on a hot streak today!

Speaking of hot streak, with that out of the way and you feeling ready to rock, it was time to find Starswirl and kick his legendary ass! Lesse, now how do you locate someone you really don’t know using the power of chaos? You put on your horn and walked outside, pondering to yourself as you locked Bon Bon’s door. And as you step out, you notice a flying pop up ad that asked if you were looking for the most legendary wizard in Equestria. “...Press yes for an instant trip to said wizard. Free trial, free flier miles, scenic skies, and fun times, a real blast. Oh hell no, I’m not that stupid. I get the pun. Fuck this, I’ll figure something else out.” You reach your hoof over to click no on the pop up, but the entire thing highlights as you press your hoof on it. Indeed, it was one of those old early 2000s ads where the pop up itself was the actual button… And you just pressed it. “Well, at least it’s not the worse thing that can happen to me today…” Was the last thing you said as you suddenly found yourself exploding upwards and onwards into the distance, actually bursting into flame as you fly outwards into the horizon. “I WAS WRONG! THIS BUUUURNNNSS LIKE FUCK!”

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