• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,184 Views, 1,162 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

  • ...

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 34 - Anon Vs. Scrappy

You continued your trek to the clubhouse, ready to listen to whatever Scootaloo may have had to say. You thought about that cute filly you just met as well, she was so nice. Barely even knew her and she wanted you, Anon, to be a fucking professor at Twilight’s shitty ass school. Probably would be good too, now that you really thought about it, kids these days need realism in their lives. Though, as you woke up a little more and put more focus on the conversation itself, you did realize that Cozy Glow did seem off for a filly her age. Those glares, and hell, just the sudden timing of her being there at all…

“Wait a second… OH SHIT!” You stop, and quickly place down your saddle bag. You quickly sift through it until you find the map. Those glares, you could have sworn her eyes flashed red when she did them, or were they green? Shit! You frantically open the map and take a look near the position of the fountain and… “Huh…” There was nothing there, no dot of any sort. The only dot on the map was Scrappy’s, which was located at the clubhouse. You groan and put your hoof to your forehead in frustration “Dammit, Anon, you really did overdo it last night. Fuck man, she was there though. Am I overthinking things? No, I still have to keep an eye out for her, but I can’t let myself get too obsessed again. I swear, that filly was giving me the evil eye…” You deduced that your tired mind was running away from you at this point, you just had to not think so hard on it. You put away the map, and make your way to the clubhouse once more. “Scrappy is there too, huh? Good, maybe that means he actually knows something.”

When you got there, you wasted no time walking up the panels up to the door before giving it a knock. Your mind once again wandered back to that Cozy Glow filly, and the fact that she had impeccable taste.

“Applebloom? Sweetie Belle? That you?” You hear from the other side of the door, it was Scootaloo, which meant she was alone with Scrappy.

“Nope, it’s me, Anon. Scoots, mind letting me in?” Good, they weren’t here. This information was meant for the three of you and the three of you only, also Bonbon.

“Oh! Ok, give me a second.” Scootaloo opens the door and lets you inside, poking her head out to make sure no one followed you. As you stepped past her, you noticed the clubhouse was covered in Rainbow Dash memorabilia, as well as Scootaloo herself donning a Rainbow Dash hat. Huh, did she have a club meeting before you arrived? “Good morning, Anon.” She said in a rather cheery mood “I just had one of the best club meetings ever! Everypony was treating me like a hero! Isn’t that cool?”

She seemed so damn happy, makes you wish you knew about the meeting, you would have shown up to see it. Or maybe that was a bad idea, didn’t want to upstage her after all. “That's super cool, Scoots, good for you!”

“Yeah!” She said with a triumphant hop “I bet this is how Rainbow Dash feels like all the time! I mean, eheh” She then remembered that she was being treated as a hero for surviving a collapsing structure, a feat she didn’t manage on her own. “I know it really wasn’t over anything too heroic or anything, but still, we managed to beat that thing together, so I know I’ll be doing real hero stuff soon. You think so too, right?” She looked to you, desperate for a yes.

You didn’t, but… “Sure, just remember not to overdo it, Scoots, ok? Hero work can be pretty dangerous and…” You quickly try to shift the topic, you didn’t want to dawdle on her moment of grandeur. It was nice she was optimistic, but the world of Equestria was too dangerous for a pint-sized wannabe hero. “Well, y’know, just remember to start out small. Speaking of small, I noticed Scrappy showed up on my map and that he was here but…” You looked around, you couldn’t see him at all “Where is he? Did he just leave? Did he say anything about Chrysalis?”

“Oh yeah, he’s here. And guess what! He does know something about it!” Scootaloo walks over to the podium near the back of the clubhouse, and taps at something with her hoof, just behind it. “Scrappy, Anon is here for the info”

“I know he is, but I wanted to get this costume off first. I am a ruthless puppy, not a pony! I didn’t want him to get confused.” You hear his childishly naive voice from behind the podium, you notice a single leg trying to shake off something blue with a rainbow tail and… Wut? Was he wearing a Rainbow Dash costume?

“Erm, I mean, you’re a changeling too, right?” Scootaloo asked as she stepped to the other side and picked up the costume, hanging it on a hoof on a wall near an RD poster.

Scrappy popped his head out from behind the podium. He gave you an evil glare that, while in his puppy form, was none too threatening. Hell, ever since he became the same as the other changelings, any visual threat he may have posed was thrown out the window. “Yes, yes I am. I am the captain, and the protector of all my friends. But I am not a pony! Ponies who are not my friend or friends of my friends are still dumb.” He then locked eyes with you, narrowing them as he spoke “You didn’t see me as a pony, did you, Anon?”

Good god, what was this idiot on about this time? “I mean, no, but… Why wear a costume at all? Why not just… y’know… change into whatever you were going to wear a costume for?”

“Because!” He stepped out from behind the podium and stood tall as he put his paw to his chest “I am a changeling and a dog! And nothing else! Erm…” Then suddenly he got confused, and calmed down, almost adorably so “ I mean, I haven’t really tried transforming into anything else since the queen left. I-i guess I’d become something really scary if somepony threatened my family or friends, but other than that, I like being a dog. I get to learn all sorts of things about loyalty, responsibility, love, respect, and fetch! I love fetch…” He just about drooled with a dumb smile on his face at the near mention of it. Still the same ole goof.

“Awww, c’mon Scrappy! You made a great mascot today, everypony loved you! Besides…” Scootaloo walked up to him and began to gently pat his head, causing his ears to fold as his mood pacified. “You didn’t seem to want to whine when you got all those hugs.”

“I do like hugs…” Scrappy murmured as he nuzzled into her hoof “I guess most ponies that are strangers are also good too.”

“There you go! See? Making friends on your own feels pretty good too, doesn’t it?” Scootaloo asked as she continued to gently pet at his head.

“I-i… Yes, it does feel pretty nice.” Scrappy admits as he finds himself lost in the affection. Then, like a switch being flipped, he snapped to attention with a few hops before looking at you with a smile and a waggity tail. “Oh wait! Speaking of friends! I have to tell Anon about the queen!”

Finally, it was a cute moment and all, but this was damned important. “Yes, Scrappy, please. What can you tell me about her? I know she was there, she used her magic on the dragon statue. Please, tell me what you know.”

“Ok! But only if you fight me. I’ve waited a long time for you to get stronger like I have, and so, I DEMAND A CHALLENGE!” He barks out as he pats his chest with his paw, looking at you with hardened determination.

“Scrappy, c’mon, no. Fighting your friends is bad, remember? I mean, you could just challenge Anon at chess again.” Scootaloo didn’t like to see Scrappy get riled up for a fight. She knew how serious he could get, and she knew it could lead into trouble.

As for you, you felt he had to be kidding. Scrappy could barely tap you when he was living in your basement, and with all your training, he had zero chances of beating you now. You didn’t need to go through a back and forth of yes and nos, so you raise your hoof to get their attention and accept his challenge “Its fine, Scoots, if he wants to challenge me then I’ll oblige him. Besides, I’ve been meaning to give my new skills a proper test.”

“Yes!” Scrappy does a hop of excitement before he prepares himself to rush right at you “Finally! He accepts! For the honor of Master Applebloom, I shall crush you!”

Scootaloo slapped her hoof over her own forehead with a sigh “Anon, why? Now he’s going to want to destroy you again. Besides, one of you could get seriously hurt, y’know?”

“Heh, you’re sounding like Applebloom there, Scoots. Look, it’ll be fine. I’ll just pin him and make him give up.” You say with a smirk as you enter a battle stance.

“Ugh, don’t say I didn’t warn you, Anon. Scrappy has been training a lot, both as a changeling warrior and a dog. He’s gotten super tough. But if you’re gonna be that way, then I’ll just be ready with the first aid.”

What? She didn’t believe in you? Goddamn it, c’mon Scoots, you could of sworn you both were closer than that. “Alright, whatever. Come at me, Scrappy, it’s go time!”

“FOR MY FRIENDS!” But Scrappy doesn’t charge at you, instead he reaches under the podium to pull out a basket of Rainbow Dash pins.


“What are you going to do with those? Pin them on me? Look, you got three more seconds to make a move before I atomic buster your butt.” Like seriously, what was he planning to do with those?

“Exactly! You say you’re going to pin me down, but it is I who will do the pinning! Take this, Anon!” Scrappy, at breakneck pace, is able to snap off the sharp ends of the pins and toss them at you like a needle machine gun. Without falter, he became as fearsome as a German machine gun.

“W-what in the AGH!” You immediately began dodging the barrage of needles the best you could, jumping and weaving through the onslaught of pricks. While most hit the wall behind you, it eventually became overwhelming enough for you to have to use your saddlebag as a shield to protect you from the rest of the shots. Miraculously, due to your increased reflexes and thinking, you get out of it unscathed, though your bag was now a pin cushion. “Aha...ah..ha… HA! Nice try, Scrappy! But there was… Huh?” When you looked back at the podium, he was gone.

“SNEAKY SPIKE STRIKE!” Scrappy screamed out, suddenly from behind. Did he use that attack as a distraction then? You couldn’t really keep track of him when you used your saddlebag as a shield. You also didn’t have time to turn around when you felt a pin get shoved right into your right asscheek.

“GYYYAH!” You jumped forward, a jolt of pain hitting your rear as Scootaloo’s giggles filled the air. You look back at Scrappy, who falsely yawned as he put his paw over his mouth. “You little! That really hurt!”

“It was supposed to. I have given you, Anon, the pain in the rear you have oh so talked about many a time. NOW PREPARE FOR SALTY TEARS!” He cries out once again as he breaks his smug pose.

“Salty what now? What are you on abAFDFDASDAS” You cover your eyes with your hooves after Scrappy makes another lightning quick movement. As in, he somehow pulled salt out of fucking nowhere and threw it right into your eyes, causing you to fall. “HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET SALT FROM?! GYAHH GEEZ!” You could barely see as you tried to wipe your eyes clean from the salty pain.

“I have been carrying around salt with me for many months! I was originally going to save it for my friends in case they forgot their own salt for use on delicious food, but it seemed good to use it now to open you up to my final attack!” Scrappy said as he prepared himself for a pounce.

“Months?” This confused Scootaloo greatly, as she never saw him with any kind of carrying case. “Scrappy, where were you keeping the salt all this time?”

“The perfect hiding place! Up my butt! It didn’t sting or anything thanks to my exoskeleton. The perfect hiding place!” He said with a happy little hiss.

Scootaloo cringed at that, that was gross. “Y-yeah, oogh… Sorry, Anon.”

“Wait. WHAT?! N-NGH?! MNGHHHH.” You could feel it, a sickening rumble in your stomach. That was too gross, you had what was essentially bug turd in your fucking eyes. Did changelings shit? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to know. But the image was still in your head. “I-I don’t feel… so…” You just couldn’t hold it in, or really pay attention to what was going on. You hadn’t even realized Scrappy had finally made his charge forward towards you to pin you down. The moment Scrappy moved in close, you began to hurl,and hurl, and puke, and throw up, and everything else dealing with the action of spilling your guts out. Hell, it didn’t even make sense! How did the salt not dissolve after all that time?! It was too much, you fell unconscious just from the grossness of it all. It was in your eyes for christ sake!

“Agh! NGH! WHAT IS THIS?!” Scrappy cried as you puked all over his face during his charge. He stepped back as he shook his head, gagging from the smell of your vile bile. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get much of the liquid or it’s smell off his face. “It smells so bad! I-is this what Anon’s insides smell like?! Ngh, so… smelly… Anon smells worse than… Yak fart...nghaaaa” And he fell, and he fell hard, right onto his chin. Scrappy was out like a light so hard he reverted to his colorful changeling state upon unconsciousness.

Scootaloo just walked over and looked at you, and then Scrappy, and sighed. “Tie? I guess? Uhh…” Scootaloo could not only smell the puke coming from Scrappy’s face, but the salt he threw onto you had a pungent odor of its own which most likely contributed to your vomiting. “Ogh, that smells… Erm…” Scootaloo walked back to a set of drawers near the corner of the clubhouse and pulled out a lemon scented deodorizing spray. She walked up to Scrappy and gave his face a spray, instantly killing the odor. She then looked to you and gave you a spray as well. “There we go, that’s uh… Much better.”

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!