Dadonequus Discord (Book 2)

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 261 - The Redemption Ark Redux

The day before the final day.

Everything was fine, everything was going to be okay.

In fact, it was going to be Hearthwarming, the equivalent of human Christmas.

You had to wonder something about some friends you knew abroad. Some friends you hadn’t spoken to in quite some time. And in truth, didn’t go entirely well because you were worried about another villain.

Maybe it was time to just relax about doing any kind of duty, and just be a friend. A friend with the most awesome presents ever!

You used your magic to appear on the ‘Redemption Ark’, a name that, despite sounding kinda cringy, warmed your heart in a way. But hey, what was important was seeing your friends and FSDFDSFDSF.

Suddenly, you were enveloped in darkness and slid across the deck as you heard snickering around you.

“See, Tempest? I knew my new Trapper Blaster would work. The moment that rat came out of the boards, BAM, trapped in my net. Ain’t it a thing of beauty?” Grubber? Dammit, fucking hell. He was as bad as Scrappy, maybe even worse. At least Scrappy was incompetent a lot of the time and didn’t have a damned NET GUN!

“Hey! I’m not a rat! What the heck is wrong with you!” You shouted as you struggled within the net.

Tempest let out a low sigh. “Grubber, that’s Anon.”

There was silence for a moment, before Grubber said “What’s the difference?”

You could hear a small audible giggle from Tempest before she made a stern yet gentle order towards Grubber to let you free. “Grubber, let him go, that’s an order. I know you still have a problem with him, but I really don’t care about the past.”

“Eh, it ain’t even that. There’s just something about him that makes you want to throw him in a net. Like, he just frustrates everyone because he can’t make up his mind on nothing. It’s annoying!” Grubber explained with a groan. However, after that, all you could hear was silence for a moment, up until… “Alright, alright, alright. Well, let me show you what this baby can also do.” Suddenly, the net around you opened up as it got sucked right into Grubber’s gun-looking Trapper Blaster. “Nifty, eh? Comes out fast, goes in fast. And they said a retractable line was a bad idea.”

“Ngh, geez! What was that for?!” You shouted at Grubber, literally hopping mad.

“Relax, Short Stuff. Like I was telling Tempest, I thought you were a rat. Anyway, what are you doing here? Because if you came to bother Tempest with more of your Storm King stuff, then I have some words for you.” Grubber said, crossing his little hedgehog arms as he gave you a stink eye.

God… Well, actually, you couldn’t resent him for that one. That was the last time you visited, no doubt it caused a lot of anxiety. You couldn’t imagine how much worse it would have been had they realized how badly you fucked up on that to begin with. “Relax, geez. I come in peace, okay? I just thought I’d come to spread a little holiday cheer.”

“Holiday cheer?” Tempest said plainly, yet a little surprised. “You mean Hearthwarming?”

You nodded, smirking just a tad, happy to see Tempest knew what you were talking about. “The very same.”

Tempest gave a little smirk herself before looking at Grubber. “Grubber, can you go see if Capper’s packed?”

“Huh?” Grubber looked up at Tempest for a moment. But the moment she gave him a nod, he seemed to have understood what she wanted. “Alright, I’ll go get him. But you let me know the moment he causes you trouble, got it?”

Tempest nodded back at him, and without any other word, he went below deck to check on the cat. Tempest then looked to you, and looked back as the breeze passed by. Hm? As you looked to where she was facing, you could see a familiar town you hadn’t been in a awhile. Klugetown. Seems the ship was sitting at the docks. “You really came for a Hearthwarming visit?”

You nodded, giving a shrug. “I have. That a bad thing? I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright and stuff.”

“We're fine. Coincidentally, I was actually telling Capper and Grubber about the holiday about a few weeks ago. It’s why we’re here, actually. Thought it’d be nice to just rent out a place and just not worry about anything for a while, but then Capper decided to show he was already in the spirit by offering to stay in his home.” Tempest said, staring at the town a bit more before looking back at you with a warm smile. “I was even thinking of paying Ponyville a visit. See you, the crusaders, and Twilight and her friends”

“Wow, wasn’t expecting that. Coming out of your shell, huh?” You asked, feeling pretty glad to hear that.

“I’d say so. Can’t be brooding and hurting over the past forever, but then again, I guess having friends here, and out there, has made me realize it’s about the pony I can be, and not the pony I was. But hey, I don’t want to talk about that. How is everything with you?” Tempest asked.

“Doing good, actually. Recently reformed the queen of the changelings, got over my own anxieties, and been trying to be a better friend. I’m still sorry about worrying you about the Storm King that one time.” You said apologetically.

“I’m not worried about it, and neither should you. As for Grubber, don’t worry about what he said. He’s become protective of me, and does his best to try to keep the past out of our lives. Well, unless it has to do with me kicking ass.” Tempest said to you with a wink.

You laughed at that, if a bit awkwardly. You hadn’t realized she also became taken with some human vocabulary. “Ha! Well, it’s actually nice to see you like this. I was worried too, actually. I’m really glad to see you, well, cheerier.”

“Yeah, me too. Speaking of, you said you came to spread some holiday cheer? What did you have in mind?” Tempest asked, curious as to what you meant.

“Oh, just wanted to give you guys something I thought you all might like. See, said queen of the changelings has really gotten into watching human media. You know, movies and stuff. I thought you guys might want a collection to watch during downtime here on the ship.” You said as you gave your horn a little bump.

“Hm, movies? Been awhile since I’ve seen one.” Tempest said as she pondered on it a bit. “I’d appreciate something like that. Give us something to do while we’re here”

“Yeah! Trust me, got a lot of good stuff you’d all probably enjoy. Dark stuff, lighthearted stuff, action, romance, even military if you’re curious.” You say, moving up to her with a sly smile. “Trust me, you’ll love it.”

Tempest, at first, seemed a tad annoyed at you for some reason, but then suddenly, she gave you a creepy grin of her own and lowered her head to be directly in front of yours. “Got anything gory? Specifically about hero colts?”

Suddenly your ears folded as you awkwardly chuckled. “You mean, like, colts kicking ass?”

Tempest’s grin suddenly became even crueler, without her saying a word.

You gulped, creeped out by her stare. “A-are you serious?”

Tempest held on to her grin as long as she could, before breaking out in a laugh and giving you a pat on the head. “Oh, no, Anon. C’mon, that’s too much. You were just being a bit too pushy, y’know? I already said I give your movies a watch”

Pushy? Agh, almost sounds like Chrysalis’s entire patronizing argument. Dammit, alright, aaalllllright, you gotta get better at that. “Aha, sorry. But, uh, okay. Erm…” You looked forward, seeing the dingy, dank town of Klugetown and wondering why they’d even dock here. “Say, why did you guys bother stopping here at all, anyway? Why didn’t you come straight to Ponyville?”

Tempest gave a tap on the deck as she gave a little huff. “Hm, well, I don’t think the ponies there would be ready for what is essentially a doomship making anchor just outside their town.”

…Right, that would cause a mass panic. “So you’re just going to travel through the badlands on your own?”

Tempest nodded “Yes. We have plenty of supplies, more than enough firepower, and Grubber and I are used to much more dangerous treks. As for Capper, he’s a drifter, something like this will be no trouble for him.”

Well then. You couldn’t really argue anything about that if she was that sure about it. Not like you could say anything about her combat skills either, she’s dangerous, possibly even more dangerous than you. “Hm, alright. Ah, so let me ask about your travels then. How has that gone? Anything interesting or cool?”

“Same as usual, either we weren’t welcome or we were allowed to help rebuild homes and relations with those I hurt. I did have an interesting encounter with a society of civilized yeti in the northern lands.” Tempest said.

Civilized yeti? “There are civilized yeti?”

Tempest nodded “Why wouldn’t there be? Places outside of Equestria have quite a few interesting races. These yeti were peaceful monks the Storm King had subjugated and then completely forgot about because he didn’t like how cold their home was. They were very accepting of us despite former relations. As for what makes it interesting? Well, they taught me a thing or two about the power of my horn. Not to get into any specifics, but it being the way it is doesn't allow me to cast spells. But, if I were to hone what they call the 'base component' to all spells, and temper my mind with meditation and overcome my fears, I would be 'capable of so much more'. Well, hm, that still doesn't really explain much. how about I just give a demonstration?” Tempest suddenly loosened up as her broken horn sparked. She seemed almost excited to show off, even if she held her stoic demeanor.

“Sure, but what exactly do you mean by 'capable of so much more'?” You ask, ignorant as to what she was talking about.

Suddenly, without answering your question, Tempest tapped her hooves to a rhythm on the deck floor. There was silence for a moment, until suddenly Grubber appeared bursting through the doors that led below deck, holding a slim-looking bazooka. “Coming! Oh yeah, it’s ‘show off’ time!”

What in the?! “What just happened?”

“Private code. Grubber suggested it in case there was trouble on the ship and verbal communication wasn’t possible or suggested. Capper has yet to learn all the tap codes, but that’s alright, I mostly do it because it makes Grubber happy.” Tempest said as she walked towards the starboard end of the ship and waited for Grubber to join her side.

Grubber rushed past you and towards Tempest’s side as he prepared the bazooka and aimed it upwards. “Let me guess. Still don’t want to fight him, huh? Well, he should still see that he’s nothing compared to you. You ready, Tempest?”

“Fire when ready.” Tempest said with a slight chuckle. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by Grubber’s insistence that she was the better pony, if only because she was rather proud of her own skills and wanted to show them off.

“Keep your eyes on the clay pigeons, pipsqueak! You’re about to see some real fireworks!” Grubber aims, and fires two discs side by side. “Double shot!”

Tempest, with zero effort, shot one spark towards a disc, obliterating it as her shot bounced off to obliterate the second one.

“Diamond formation!” Grubber shouted as he shot four discs in a diamond pattern.

Tempest aimed towards the center of the diamond and fired. When the spark reached the center of the discs, it exploded into a multitude of bolts that destroyed every disc.

“Line formation!” Grubber shouted, firing multiple times in a straight line.

Tempest hesitated for a moment, aiming her horn as she studied her shot, then fired an instantaneous beam that destroyed every disc in an instant.

“Bowling formation” Grubber shouted, firing a spread formation of discs set like a bunch of pins from a game of bowling.

Tempest leans back, and juts forward, shooting a bolt that hits the lone disc dead center, splitting the bolt into two bolts, and so on and so forth, until every disc was destroyed.

Grubber quickly slaps the end of the bazooka off, revealing a huge hole, as he yells out. “AND THE FINALE!”. He fires once more, sending him rolling back as a plethora of discs fly forward.

Tempest backs up, then jumps as she slings her head around, firing a heavy ball of magic that flies forward and starts exploding like a mix of flak and shotgun pellets. The explosion of bolts paraded forward as entire legions of discs were destroyed, lighting up the sky like fireworks, until there was nothing left.

Holy fuck…

Holy goddamn, that was amazing. That was awesome.

You were sooooo damn glad she wasn’t that good when you fought her the first time, because you would have died.

You suddenly felt someone leaning heavily on your side. When you turned your head, it was Grubber, grinning as he lazily waved his arm around before pointing at Tempest. “Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. You would have been dead meat if she zapped you like that when you first met.”

Guh! “N-No!”

Grubber stepped up and turned to face you, smirking as he crossed his arms. “Mhmm, sure. I can see it in your eyes, Anon, you know you’re beat. Oh, and hey?” Suddenly, Grubber punched forward, making you flinch as he stops his fist right in front of your face. He then jumps back, and points at you as he laughs. “Haha! Made you flinch!”

Ngh, grrr! You didn’t come here to be mocked. You stepped forward menacingly, and only stopped when you heard a rather chill voice behind you.

“Relax, Anon, stay cool. You know how he gets. Just let it roll off your shoulder, alright?” It was Capper, donned in a warm red jacket, as he stood behind you, paws in his pockets. “Hey, Grubber, I would cut it out if I were you. If Anon turns you into a pin cushion or something, well, ain’t nothing we can do about it, right, Tempest?”

“He’s right, Grubber. And you know I don’t approve of you trying to start a fight like that.” Tempest reminded him as she looked towards Capper. “Everything ready?”

“Yup. All we gotta do is swing by towards the dockmaster and pay him to get our crates moved to my place. We’re gonna have to count Anon as a stowaway though and let them know we don’t need the removal service.” Capper told her as he looked at you with a warm smile. “By the way, hey, Anon.”

“Uh, hey. What do you mean count me as a stowaway?” You were confused on that one.

“They mean that they’ll make us pay extra if they think you're another crew member. Don’t worry about it though, your skin is safe with us as long as you don't cause any trouble.” Grubber said as he reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a bag of coins. “I’ll handle it. You just look scared, got it?”

Uhhhhh. “Okay…” You said, blank faced as Grubber suddenly shouted at you.

“Hey, I mean it! I’m being serious here. This ain’t some wuss pony town, okay? The Storm King may be gone, but these guys will cause trouble with us if you don’t act like you’re some stowaway, got it?” Grubber said with a snarl.

“Alright, alright!” You suddenly began shaking and made big scared eyes. “How’s this?”

“Good” Grubber said with a thumbs up. “Now keep that up when you get off the ship, they’re gonna want a good look at you.” Grubber then began to walk towards the port side of the ship, where a plank down to the docks awaited him.

“Geez, they charge to beat up stowaways?” You remember Klugetown being a bit of a shithole, but goddamn, what was that about?

“It isn’t that bad, they used to pay crews to let them beat up stowaways under the Storm King’s rule. To the people here, charging for it is an incentive for them not to get violent.” Tempest explained. “Basically a mercy”

“A mercy, huh? Sounds like a lose-lose situation for the stowaway to me.” You said, actually feeling a tinge of worry of there being trouble.

“Well, the thing is, they’re really adamant on the whole payment thing. If they ever find out you beat up the stowaway without paying, they find you, and they beat you up.” Capper explained. “I know, I know, it sounds out of this world. But it’s better than how it was before.”

“Yeah, but what if the stowaway wasn’t a stowaway and they find out? What then?” You asked, deeply curious on the matter.

“No idea, but I would just assume they get violent with the entire crew and repossess their belongings as their own. Given you are technically a stowaway, even if last minute, there shouldn’t be any issues. As mentioned, just look worried and everything will be fine, we’ll explain that we plan to drop you off from wherever you came from.” Tempest explained.

“Hey!” Suddenly, stomping up towards the ship’s deck, was a huge purple-furred beast-like thing with two vertically raised sharp-looking ears. He was extremely burly, so burly that he literally walked on his fists. He wore a safety cap, and literally has a clipboard attached at the side of his palm. “I ‘ear you blokes gots some sort of stowaway here. Well, we ain’t havin’ that today. Last crew tried to pass off a whole half of themselves as stowaways. Had to bruise our knuckles on that one.”

Shit! You thought you had to present yourself at some sort of kiosk or something. The guy showed up and already looked ready to pull off some heads. However, you suddenly let out a squeak-like noise as Capper picked you up from behind and held you towards the beast worker.

“Hey, hey, you’re making something out of nothing. As our hedgehog friend must have already told you, we only have one stowaway. See? Just a cute colt here that just wanted to be a pirate.” Capper said as he gave a confident smirk towards the beast worker.

Shit, okay, that was your cue! You made a big wide-eyed face towards the beast and swished your right foreleg about. “Erm, avast ye, landlubbers! This silly cat thing thinks me some mere colt! But I’m a pirate! Trying to find the biggest candy treasure ever! Erm, would you like to be my first mate?” You asked the beast worker, as you gave him the most adorable and innocent smile you could muster.

“First mate? Well, ain’t no one ever asked me that before…” Suddenly, he began to tear up as he looked over at Tempest. “And this little fella just jumped on yer ship?”

Tempest easily kept her cool as she nodded. “Yes, and as endearing as he is, we unfortunately are now responsible for finding his mother in Ponyville, something we can’t exactly do at the moment.”

“Right, right” The beast worker said as he sniffed and tried to calm himself. “Warms me ‘eart to see an adventurous little one, reminds me of me when I was a pup. Alright, alright, our fee is quadrupled to give the little rascal the lesson of his life.”

Holy fuck, that sounded more wrong and made you clench your legs more than anything else.

“That’s quite a bargain, but I think being away from his mother is punishment enough. Just look at him, he simply can’t keep his composure. He’s scared.” Capper said as he gave you a gentle shake.

Christ, considering the thoughts in your head from that guy’s words, it did make you tear up at the horrible thought this guy might rip your balls off or something. “M-mommy? I-I miss youuuuuu!”

“No, stop!” The beast worker cried out as he let himself down on his smaller feet as he cried, covering his face with his meaty furred arms. “The poor kid. I remember when I ran off to be a pirate! I ain’t ever seen my mother ever again! And now I work as a dockmaster! When I coulda been a painter, I could. Agh! Ngh! Whaaaaa!” The beast worker suddenly just started bawling his damn eyes out, crying nonstop.

All of you cringed, even Tempest. Capper took a moment to gently put you down, as you all stepped around the beast worker and made way off the ship.

Comments

[EntropyEntropy]

That guy is scary for more reasons than just being a violent dock worker.

[Hein des Nisseroi]

sucked right into Grubber’s gun looking Trapper Blaster.

gun-looking

You couldn’t imagine how worse it would have been

‘‘(...) how much worse it (...)’’ (?)

a familiar town you hadn’t been in in awhile.

a while

Dark stuff, light hearted stuff,

lighthearted (?)

Tempest at first, seemed a tad annoyed at you

Missing comma before ‘at’.

seeing the dingy dank town of Klugetown

Missing comma after ‘dingy’.

more than enough firepower, And Grubber and I are (...)

Uppercase ‘a’ should be lowercase.

Ah, so let me ask about your travels then.

Missing comma before ‘then’. (?)

holding a slim looking bazooka.

slim-looking

“Bowling formation” Grubber shouted

Missing comma after ‘formation’. (?)

ain’t nothing we can do about it, right Tempest?”

Missing comma before ‘Tempest’.

Sounds like a lose lose situation for the stowaway to me.

lose-lose (?)

(...) was a huge purple furred beast-like thing with two vertically raised sharp looking ears.

purple-furred (?)
sharp-looking

you suddenly let out a squeak like noise

squeak-like

You made a big wide eyed face towards the beast

wide-eyed

“Erm, avast ye landlubbers!

Missing comma before ‘ye’. (?)

“Right, right” The beast worker said

Missing comma or period after the second ‘right’.

I could be wrong about some of the above.
Also, sorry for taking so long. I had a lot of things going on recently.

[CrazedLaughter]

11491845
no apologies needed. you can always take your time, as your input is always appreciated at any point.

[PinkOne]

11476152
sure is, crazy means dangerous

[Resu]

Military-grade demonstrations on a whim right next to a populated town, sure, especially when it's like this one. They are just asking for a fee.

[Walrusesarecute]

Sorry, I’m later than usual,

woo,

also, great chapter.