• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 41 - The Chaos Theater

Trixie however, was still on the ground, dazed from her fall. You, and especially Starlight, were able to descend from the stairs with ease, relieved to see Trixie still in one piece. “Trixie, you alright? Um, should have warned you about the whole invisible stairs thing. It’s all in the mind and-” But you are interrupted when she suddenly gets up, and starts to shake you in the air with her magic.


“Trixie! Trixie, calm down!” Starlight used her magic to pull you away from Trixie’s grip. “This is Discord’s house, remember? Nothing is supposed to make sense. You’re just going to stress yourself out if you keep panicking like this”

“Starlight! We’re at the mercy of this home! How do we even get out of here?! Where even is the theater?!” Trixie said frantically as she tries to stay in the center of the room, looking around for anything hazardous that might strike.

“Yeah… Anon, where is the theater? Is it down over there? Where that hallway of doors are?” Starlight asks as she gently puts you down, and dusts you off with her magic. She then leans in and whispers “Kinda need to know as soon as possible before Trixie loses it.”

“Uh, whuh? Ugh” You shook your head to get your senses in order. Christ, Trixie can shake damn hard. “O-oh, yeah, the theater is down there.” You point to the trap door next to Trixie “In the basement.”

“The basement? As in…” Trixie looks over beside herself, and sees the trap door. She gulps, and points to it before carefully lifting the door. Her eyes then go wide when she sees a set of stairs heading down into a cavern below. Though it wasn’t dark like it usually was, as a cavalcade of lights shone through the threshold. You could even hear the sound of distant music coming from below. “Wait, it sounds like there's a show going on down there. Hmmm…” Trixie began to calm herself as the way down seemed welcoming to her, as if she could see a place welcoming to her. “Well, it doesn’t seem that bad, especially when compared to what you have floating outside your window. Erm…” She then becomes a little nervous as she thinks about her next words “There’s not going to be any crazy surprises down there, right?”

You shake your head “Probably not. When it comes to Twilight, Dad wouldn’t waste any time trying to get to the main event. So, yeah, should be ok to go down.”

“Alright then...Ahrm.” Trixie then looks to Starlight, and gives her a meek smile “C-could you?”

Starlight nods, giving Trixie a warm smile as she steps through the threshold of the door and down into the depths below “Don’t worry, Trixie, I’ll take point.”

“A-ah, thank you, Starlight. And, Anon, although Trixie feels she can handle it on her own anyway… Erm…” She then shoots you a meek smile as well “Would it be too much trouble to cover my rear?”

Heh, of course. “It’d be an honor, oh Great and Powerful Trixie” Not only did you feel those words would help her mood, but it also meant you could check out her butt for a bit.

Trixie, hearing those words, couldn’t help but put on an arrogant grin. “Thank you for the kind words, Anon. It’s good to know you recognize my true power. Now please, follow Trixie.” And so, Trixie went down, following Starlight.

As the three of you went down, you simply could not shift your focus away from Trixie’s rear. It looked pretty soft and flexible to her hind legs. Oh, so juicy… Dammit! Why is everypony so damn sexy! How is anyone supposed to be monogamous when everyone is so damn hot!

However, your thoughts, and indeed everyone’s thoughts fade away once you reach the bottom. Standing before you all was a modern looking grand theater that looked chinese by design. Huge golden Discord statues sat side by side near a golden arch entrance while discordant music filled the air. Different colored lights shot out of every which way from the building itself as a red carpet was laid out to you all, from the stairway to the doors that lead inside. “Oh, wow, he really went all out.”

“Amazing! I wasn’t expecting this. I gotta hand it to Discord, he can pull off some pretty amazing visuals when he wants to.” Starlight said, stunned by how amazing everything looked.

“Finally, something normal, if quite stunning and… Hmmm?” Trixie looks to her right to see an odd wagon she’s never seen before. Sleek, black, modern, and out of this world. “What kind of wagon is this?” Trixie starts to approach it, noticing it didn’t really seem able to lug things around or be lived in “Is this one of those fancy wagons for rich ponies to be picked up in? It’s really weird looking.”

When you look to see what caught her eye, you immediately feel a sense of shock when jolts you ahead of Trixie to stop her from getting any closer “Trixie, wait! Don’t worry about this wagon, alright? It’s off limits to everypony but me, I’ve been taking care of it and it means a lot to me.” Of course, this wagon actually happened to be Chrysalis’s car, a car you have kept in perfect condition since she left. You didn’t really have to, but the car symbolized the one time you and her worked together to save the world, even if this wasn’t the world you both ended up saving.

Though, Trixie’s next action came to an even bigger shock to you than her approach to the car “I see. Well, I can totally understand that actually. A wagon can be like a friend, a home, and family all at once.” Trixie gives you a gentle headpat as her words became softer and more sincere “It also looks really unique, I can see why you take care of it so well. And, well… now that things are more calm. I kind of want to apologize for how I was acting earlier, the situation just slipped away from my hooves for a moment. A moment I hope nopony but the three of us will ever know about.”

Trixie, wow, you did not expect her to respect your wishes like that. It caught you so off guard that you couldn’t be cocky about how she didn’t want others to know how she got scared of your house. “Yeah, it’s no problem. Thanks, Trixie. Anyway, let’s get heading along inside, we got a show to see, and I want to see what it looks like inside. Dad really seemed to want to wow us with this stuff.”

“I noticed, I almost want to ask if he could set something up for me and Starlight. Just Imagine it. Lights, blaring sounds, fireworks, a grand stage, adoring crowds, a beautiful venue, and the most important piece of them all! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!” Trixie loses herself to her grand thoughts, and raises herself up on her hind legs to announce her final words.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Trixie. Knowing Discord, there’d probably be some horrible trick to it. I have to admit though…” Starlight puts her hoof on one of the Discord statues, and gives it a rub. It felt like real high quality gold to her. “If he could keep it straight, it would be one heck of a show.”

“It wouldn’t be a trick, I think. More like it’d be all about him. If it’s one thing Dad likes just as much as his tricks is himself. Only thing that trumps that is Aunt Fluttershy and myself… Mostly myself. Anyway, let’s head on inside. I wanna see if the inside matches the outside.” You say as you open the large doors to the inner sanctum to the theater.

And inside was quite glorious as well. The main lobby had fountains on either side, with giant marble statues of Discord that spewed water from their mouths. Banners with the large letter D hung in rows leading deeper into the lobby. The carpeting was soft, and almost comfortable enough to sleep on. And movie posters like “Gone with the chaos” , “Me, Myself, and More of Me”, “Grumpy Old Draconequus”, and “My Little Discord: Disorder is Hilarious” plastered the walls. There was a single hallway that led deeper into the theater, but it was blocked by velvet rope. Beside the rope was Discord himself, in a red suit, behind a ticket booth.

“Ok, all this set up just to show off him tripping up Twilight? Heh…” Starlight let out an impressed little giggle “I kind of feel honored to be here, he didn’t have to do all this for us.”

“Yeah, if he’s doing all this then he really REALLY wants us to enjoy the show. He’s gotta have something really good for a set up like this” Really, it could have just been a couple of seats and some popcorn. It was obvious he had something big up his sleeve. What the fuck did he do to Twilight to have Rarity bring her to the spa? Or suspect you for ‘something’ for that matter.

“Well, what are we waiting for then? Let’s get go- Hmm? Mmmngh!” Trixie, obviously just wanting to get to the main event, found herself unable to lift the velvet rope. “Stupid thing, why can’t I lift it?”

“Ahrm…” Discord brought his talons to his mouth as he coughed. “Tickets please… No tickets, no access. That is the rule of this establishment.”

Simple enough, obviously Discord being Discord. So all you have to do is turn in the tickets and it’ll be fine. You had yours, so you walk up to the booth, and slide it over “Here, Dad. Want to do everything all classy and official, huh? What are we in for?”

Discord started to sweat as he murmured in fear “Oh no, it’s the boss’ kid. He’ll fire me if I screw this up. Ahrm…” He suddenly calms himself as he smiles awkwardly at you “Ah, erm. Well, you must have me confused for somepony else, clearly superior pony child. As for what is in store…” He snaps his talons, raising the velvet rope. “Come in, and see.”

“Superior wha?” Did he just call you a superior pony child? Well, you were superior, but wut? He wouldn’t ever say that straight out unless he felt terrible about something, or he was in a caring mood. Unless… Ooohhhh, this is part of the act. Haha, probably another Discord at the concession stand, and the manager is your Discord. He really IS going all out then. Best no to spoil it for him.“Yes, right. Thank you, I’ll do that.” You wink at him, but all he does is give you nod. You look back at the girls as you pass the velvet rope “Just give him your tickets, girls. And you can step through. ”

“Why can’t we just step through now? Seems kind of silly just to give him the ticket when we were invited.” Trixie says. She then raises her head high, and snorts from her nose as she speaks arrogantly. “Considering how important I am, I should just be let through. I am a mayor after all.”

“Oh? So you DO want to be the mayor then?” Starlight gives her a slick grin as she passes her ticket to Discord. “Or did you forget the responsibilities of being a mayor again.”

Trixie suddenly buckled to those words, then turned her head with a “Hmph” as she pulled out her ticket. “I-It’s not that, it’s just that this place gives off this feeling of importance and I… Erm, just wanted to feel like a V.I.P., that’s all” She slides her ticket over, and passes by the velvet rope. “I have been doing my shows for a very long time, and I guess I just wanted to feel important. Especially in a grand place like this.”

Starlight smiled at her friend, and gave her a gentle nuzzle of her head. “I know, you just got caught up in how nice everything is. Just relax, Trixie, you’ll have your day, and I’ll be right there with you. For now, let’s just enjoy the night and watch the movie. We came as Anon’s guests, so we should act more like it.”

“Right… Right… Can’t let myself get caught up in the glitz and glamor. Ok, I’m calm. I apologize, Anon, if I made you feel uncomfortable at all.” Trixie said, as she finally calmed herself. You couldn’t blame her for acting like that. She must have heard you being called ‘superior’, and wanted to feel the same way.

“It’s alright, no problem. You just got overwhelmed by this place. Heh, but if you’re still feeling tense, then I know a way to calm you down.” As you three walked down to yet another lobby, you could see a set of double doors leading to the viewing room. And just before it, was a gigantic concession stand filled with popcorn, drinks, candy, snacks, chips, and another Discord, garbed in simpler clothing and a popcorn hat, standing behind the counter. “Snacks! Oh… OH WAIT, IS THAT!?” Imported soda… From Earth. Oohhhh shit, Discord, you just keep on rocking. “Pepsi! Dr. Pepper!” in fact, there were tons of snacks from earth as well. Hot diggity damn! You couldn’t help but rush over to the concession stand and press your face at the glass.

“Heya Brah, see somethin’ ya like?” Discord said, in a rather unconvincing surfer accent.

You didn’t care anymore, you wanted a smorgasbord of unhealthy eats. “Yeah! Can I get the largest cup of Pepsi you got? Huge tub of popcorn! Some of that hershey’s chocolate! Oh, oh! Elephant ears, Gimme one of them! and that little box of gobstoppers!”

“Sure thing, dude, lemme get it all rung up for you. Lesse…” Discord said as he started to tap at his cash register.

“Wow, so a lot of this is from your dimension, huh? Seeing how excited you are… Um…” Starlight gave a rub of her tummy, as if she was winding her weight “ I guess I’ll make the same order.”

“Coolios, I’ll just add that up. What about you, Mint Fresh?” Discord asked as he continued to press keys into the cash register.

“Mint Fresh?” Trixie looked rather insulted to be called by ANY name rather than her own, but her feelings quickly faded when she realized she was about to mouth off to Discord. So she caught herself, calmed down, and made her order “Trixie will just have some popcorn and a drink. Equestrian-Cola, if you don’t mind”

“Rightyo, Mintz. Ahm, Hmm, Hrmmm…” And finally, the price for everything pops up, and… There was no fucking way he was serious “Three thousand bits, my dude. And that’s with the family discount.”

“You can’t be serious. C’mon, Discord, you’re really going to make us pay?” Ok, maybe he was going a tad too far. That was a huge fucking number.

“Sorry brah, but imported stuff costs more than my skateboards. You’re the boss’ kid n’ all, so ya get the discount. Them the rules, so ya can either take it or order the inhouse stuff.” Discord said as he leaned his shoulder onto the counter, placing his head on his paw as he awaited your answer.

You went sifting through your bag, counting your bits. Sadly, you actually didn’t have enough, nor did you have any charges in your horn to produce your own food. “I only have two thousand” Your ears folded as you looked down, disheartened at the fact you wouldn’t be able to enjoy your treats.

“Ok, Discord. I get this is part of your pretend game, or whatever. But don’t you think you’re going too far? Look at Anon, he clearly was excited to to indulge what you clearly brought over just for him and us to enjoy. Why make him pay for it? Heck, you’re wasting our time by keeping us here. Don’t you want us to see the big movie?” Starlight stepped up to the plate for you, trying to reason with Discord’s ridiculous ploy.

“Sorry, babe, bossman would kill me if he found out I sold his stuff at anything lower than that. Either take it up with him or change the order.” Discord said as he took a look at his talons, inspecting them for dirt.

“Discord! Stop fooling around! You don’t have to be a j-huh?” Starlight is cut off, as Trixie gently taps at her back as she steps in front of the concession stand to face Discord.

“Excuse me, you poor excuse of a… whatever you’re supposed to be. But we are the customers, aren’t we? As in, you do whatever we tell you to do because we are ALWAYS right. Which means give us the food, or else.” Trixie was being demanding. But her words seemed confusing not only to you, but to Starlight as well. Who did she think she was talking to?

“Look Pepz Mint, you’re only a customer if you buy something. So that’s on you. You can’t touch me, I got job security.” Discord said as he crossed his arms, looking down at her with a dismissive look.

“First of all, the name is Trixie, the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie. Second, you say your ‘bossman’ would get upset if you undersell us your interdimensional food. And yet…” She points directly at Discord, with a loud booming voice “TRIXIE HAS WITNESSED YOU EATING SAID FOOD DURING YOUR BREAK!”

“W-wha?! N-no you haven’t, you weren’t even here to see me eat that box of Nerds!” Discord said as he pointed back at her, angrily.

“Aha! Trixie may have not actually witness you do that, but the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS MADE YOU ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE! BOW TO TRIXIE! FOR YOU HAVE LOST! PREPARE TO BE REPORTED!” Trixie yelled, feeling triumphant that she had defeated Discord. But then she calmed down, and gave him a slick smile “Unless you have something to appease us.”

Discord raised a talon at first to say something, but then lowered it when he realized he didn’t have a counter. “A-Ahm. Erm… Look dude and dudettes, it’d be radical if you didn’t mention any of this to the bossman, ok? I’ll uh, just pay for it myself here…” Discord says as he opens the cash register, and fills it with his own bits. “And erm… Get your order ready, I’ll even throw in the extra to have it delivered to you before the movie starts. Erm, we square?” Discord said, shaking as he began to sweat.

“We’re square. But don’t you dare cheap out on the butter, or you shall feel Trixie’s wrath!” Trixie threatened, gave Discord a dark look, and then started to make her way off towards the door to the movie room. “C’mon you two, Trixie does not want to miss a second of Twilight’s humiliating defeat.”

You and Starlight were just silent, blinking in shock and confusion. What in the fuck?

“What just happened? Did Trixie… Just beat my Dad?” H-how?! That was amazing, but… wut?

“I t-think she more, outperformed him? I uh… I don’t know whether to be impressed or… scared.” Starlight really was impressed, and yet confused by what happened. Though, perhaps even quicker than you have realized, she managed to figure out that Trixie had, in fact, outperformed Discord. While Trixie isn’t an actor, she still has to play a role and make a show out of it. “Though, now that I think about it. Discord was playing his part to a ridiculous T, and yet she really did outperform him anyway. She played the part of an actual disgruntled moviegoer and got the upper hoof. I gotta applaud her for that, that was really nice of her to do for us.” Starlight slowly began to smile as she tapped her hoof on the ground.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect that. I gotta remember to do something nice for her later. Bravo, Trixie.”

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