• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 5,690 Views, 3,272 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 258 - "Goddammit all!"

“Woah, this is the place?” Spike said as he stood in marvel of the manor in the Everfree forest. “This is where she lives? Dude, this is nicer than anything in Canterlot. Shame about the location though, it feels so lonely here.”

You had used your magic to teleport you and Spike to Chrysalis’s manor. You figured things would be simple. Talk to Chrysalis, get her to talk to Spike, things happen, and she’ll be playing O&O in no time. “Yeah, well, as lonely as it is, she has everything she needs in there to keep herself busy. She’s even picked up on painting recently.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that. Didn’t think she’d be that cultured.” Spike said as he walked up and examined the front door. “She any good?”

“Yeah, but I’m guessing years of having to pretend to be other ponies has given her a mastery over the arts.” You raised your hoof to give the door a knock. “Including the art of roleplaying. Trust me, Spike, you’re go-” But before you could knock, Spike grabs your leg and gently holds it back. “Spike?”

“Huh? S-sorry, I… Guess I’m nervous. I dunno, part of this feels really weird to me.” Spike said.

“Weird how? You’re fine with playing with my Dad, and he was a villain. And yes, I can tell you’re gonna bring up ‘was’. In which I say to you that Chrysalis WAS a villain too. So, you know, there should be no problems.” You remind Spike in a rather abrasive way.

Spike just gave you an eye as he raised his claw. “...So, do you always just have these conversations in your head?”

Ugh… “Look, it’s gonna be fine. We got this far, right? What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Don’t say that! Those are the words that always make something really bad happen!” Spike shouted.

You just rolled your eyes at him. You were sure nothing bad was going to happen, and that you were enough to make sure nothing would go wrong. If Fluttershy can do it, he sure the fuck can. “Look, I’m just gonna knock…” You raised your hoof as you stared at Spike. He looked extremely nervous and began to raise his arm again, but you quickly crash your hoof onto the door and hit it thrice before he can react.

“Gyah! Oh gosh, this is seriously happening!” Spike said as he fell to his knees, holding on to his head in a panic. “Why did I agree to this?!”

You just rolled your eyes and waited for Chrysalis to ask who it was. But instead, there was nothing. The door simply opened, and behind it was… “Anon? Anon!” And before you knew it, Diamond Tiara rushed up and began to cuddle onto you. “Anon, we weren’t expecting you! This is soooo awesome! Now I can show you what Big Sis did for me!”

Wut? “D-Diamond?! What are you doing here?”

“Oh no! See!” Spike pointed towards Diamond. “She’s already foalnapping fillies and using them for horrible… Things. I don’t know what they are, but it can’t be good.”

Diamond stopped, and furrowed her brow towards Spike for a moment before looking back at you. “Oh, you brought him? Hmph…” Diamond then walked towards Spike, giving him the stink eye. “Hey, don’t say things like that around me, got it? Big Sis didn’t foalnap me, me and Scootaloo came here on our own.”

“You and… What?! Scootaloo is here too?! Are you hypnotized?! I know she can do that! Anon, you were hyp-Ow!” You interrupt Spike with a head bonk from your hoof. This went from confusing to really weird really fast.

“None of us are hypnotized, Spike. Diamond has been here before, and she sees Chrysalis as her big sister. Cripes, I was expecting this from Aunt Fluttershy, not from you.” You say as your attention turns over to Diamond. “But I do have to ask. Scootaloo? How did… Well, how did the both of you get here if Chrysalis didn’t bring you? It’s pretty dangerous to get here on your own.” Seriously, to you, something was amiss. This very well could just be Chrysalis messing with you.

“Well, come inside and I’ll tell you. Come on, come on, I wanna show you something!” Diamond said excitedly as she stepped back through the entrance, waiting for you and Spike to step inside.

Alright… “C’mon, let’s go see what’s up.” You say as you look back at Spike.

“Mngh…” Spike hesitated, he looked back at the forest trees and realized he couldn’t just leave. And that insult… You could tell he didn’t like it much as he gathered up his courage and stomped inside. “Sure, make way, Anon. I’ll show you how not afraid I am. I’m so una… Woah.” But as Spike stepped inside, he began to immediately become impressed with the entrance hall. To him, it looked even more lavish than even Celestia’s castle. “Geez, look at all this! Seriously, everything looks so… So… I don’t even know what to say.”

“Hmph, that’s because Big Sis deserves the nicest things, of course.” Diamond said dismissively at Spike before looking at you with big doting eyes. “Anon, are you ready to see? It’s so super cool!”

So, Chrysalis gave her a gift? Or maybe this was some sort of evil but also light-hearted trap? Hmmm… Where was Scootaloo? “Sure, um. But first, where is Scootaloo? You didn’t really answer my question on how you got here.”


“Awww, you’re that worried about me? Anon, trust me, it’s fine. Scrappy brought us here. It was part of our evil plan to bring Scootaloo over here.” Diamond said with a cheerful smile.

“Evil?! Anon, are you sure that’s her! She just said it was an evil plan! You said things would be fine!” Spike yelled as he pointed towards Diamond.

God dammit. If it involved Scrappy, then it probably was only ‘evil’ because it pleased Chrysalis. “Diamond, did Scrappy say it was an evil plan?”

“Well, yeah, he wouldn’t accept it being called anything else. When I came over to invite the crusaders to daddy’s Pre-Hearthwarming party, I overheard them talking through the door with Scrappy about Big Sis wanting to play O&O. But when I also heard Scootaloo didn’t really want her to play, I came in, made my invitation known, pulled Scrappy aside, and made a plan to bring Scootaloo over to decide for herself if Big Sis can play. Because, well, if Big Sis is gonna play, I’m gonna play, and I have to make that happen. And…” Diamond let out a commanding chortle “All it took was promising her lifetime tickets to every Wonderbolt show. I wasn’t lying either, I can make that happen really easily.”

Wut? So, that’s all it took?! Wait, then where was Scootaloo?! “But, Diamond, where’s Scootaloo then? She’s not here with you. Y-You’re not gonna tell me you left her with Chrysalis, right?”

Spike crossed his arms and grumbled “Told you something was off.”

“Anon!” Diamond shouted angrily at you. “I hope you’re not thinking Big Sis is doing anything bad to her. Ugh, are you really going to ruin the surprise by being suspicious too?”

Ngh… It did seem off. Why would Scootaloo be alone with Chrysalis? It was hard to see happening without some sort of issue. But dammit, why would Chrysalis do anything cruel when she’s dead set on playing the game? Unless her entire reasoning for wanting to was just to torment Scoots and Spike. Dammit… As you looked into Diamond’s eyes, you knew you couldn’t hesitate. “No! No! I was just, er, curious. Just like I’m curious about this surprise. So, er, what is it?”

Diamond beamed a genuine blushy smile as she giggled and ran to the right staircase of the entrance hall. “Well, it’s right here! Big Sis wanted me to take it home, but I think it’d be better as part of her climb to her room, so she’ll always think of me. Check it out! Can you guess who it is?!”

You and Spike looked up to see Diamond standing right under a painting. Woah, wait a second. It was a painting of a young human woman standing ontop of a golden chest, she wore what looked like a thief’s tunic, but much grander looking, almost royal like. She smirked as she held a dagger in one hand, and a crown in the other, one leg sitting on the chest with her dagger-holding arm resting on the elbow. Her expression was full of cunning to the point it looked rather sexy to you. But then you saw it, the hair, it was the same as Diamond’s, as was the eyes.

Spike narrowed his eyes as he gazed upon it. “That’s a human thing, right? How are we supposed to guess who that is? Anon, do you know her?”

You did… “Diamond, that’s… Your O&O character, right? That’s Moonlight Garnet.”

Diamond jumped up, letting out the happiest little squeal as she pranced around. “That’s right! Isn’t it, like, the best!? Big Sis painted it for me as a gift for bringing Scootaloo! Actually…” Diamond stopped as she began to think on it. “I didn’t even know Big Sis was this good a painter until today. She never mentioned it before, and now she just really likes painting. I’m not complaining, just look how cool I look. I can’t wait to play the game again with Big Sis, it’s gonna be awesome! You know, Anon, you really should play with us.”

Chrysalis just decided to gift her with this? Fuck man, that’s really generous of her. Like, seriously, that’s damned generous. Why does she always insult you and punt you half the time and Diamond gets a painting? Like, damn. “I, uh… Maybe. It is really nice though. I kinda thought of what you’d look like as a human once, ahrm. But this is a lot better, I think. Yeah, you look really cool here.”

“I know, I look the best. I bet Scootaloo's will look great too.” Diamond said, standing proud.

Spike got closer to the painting to examine it, then started to notice the paintings that were at the left staircase as well. “These are really neat looking. That dude in the armor looks really rad. Hm, I guess she really did mellow out.”

Finally, he was starting to calm down about that. But wait. If Diamond said Scootaloo was with Chrysalis, then maybe… “Wait, Diamond. Are you saying Chrysalis is painting Scootaloo’s character too, right now?”

Diamond nodded “Exactly! I admit, it is a bit underhoofed to get her to agree to let her play. But Scootaloo really calmed down when she saw how me and Big Sis got along. It also helps that Scrappy brought us whatever snacks we wanted too. They’re in the living room right now and should almost be done. But, I don’t think we should disturb them. Big Sis would get really cranky if we ruined her concentration.”

Well, holy fuck, that was convenient. “See, Spike? Even Scoots handled it better than you did.”

Spike’s shoulders slunk down as he groaned. “Okay, I get it, I overreacted. So, uh, can I get a painting then? I wouldn’t mind seeing what Garbuncle would look like as a valiant, wise, powerful, and amazing wizard human.” Spike said with a sheepish chuckle.

Diamond shook her head, looking at him with a stoic expression. “No. You really should have shown up when you were supposed to.” Diamond said as she slowly made her way to the throughway to the living room. “Shhh, come and look. Isn’t she amazing?”

You and Spike, who looked genuinely disappointed with himself, popped your heads out to the side of the throughway to look into the living room.

There they were. Chrysalis, donned in the same outfit she wore yesterday, was busy at work putting the finishing touches on Scootaloo’s painting. Ahead of her, on a makeshift pedestal made of her living room coffee table and a few pillows, was Scootaloo… And Scootaloo? One was standing and looking valiantly to the side while the other looked directly at Chrysalis, though this one looked a tad nervous. Was the other Scrappy? Wait, aha, it wasn't hard to figure out. It was basically a front and side profile of Scootaloo for Chrysalis to look at. Clever!

As for the painting itself? An adult human Scootaloo stood up, clad in heavy platinum armor. She looked straight with a brave expression as her hands rested on the hilt of a mighty sword stuck onto the ground, blade first. An insignia of a rainbow lightning bolt was visible at the top of the hilt of the sword and the breast of the armor. Chrysalis was nearly done, she just needed to put a few finishing touches on the face.

Spike took a step back, stunned from what he was seeing. “Woah, it’s really happening.”

Diamond took a step back, and she was not pleased by those words. “Duh, Big Sis is totally awesome! Why are you acting like she can’t fit in with us? Seriously, can’t you just give her a chance?”

“H-hey! I…” Spike hesitates once again, and looks towards you.

You just shake your head. “Don’t even, after seeing Scootaloo standing there, I now just think you’re one hundred percent overreacting for no reason whatsoever.”

Spike stood stiff at those words. “I just… Ugh, okay, okay, okay. I get it already, I really do. Watch, I’m gonna march right up to her and tell her that I’m fine with her joining our games. Okay? Is that alright?”

You nodded. “Yep, that’s fine with me. Just wait for her to finish up first.”

Suddenly, you all stop when you finally hear Chrysalis speaking from the living room. “Hm, Scootamare of the Loyal Order of the Rainbow Knights. I’m not big on the name, but I have to admit, I think I made a soldier worthy of the Roughnecks with this one.”

You quickly go to peer at them again. Scrappy had already transformed back into a puppy as he stood by Chrysalis’s side, staring at the completed painting. “My Queen, it is beyond perfection! And if there’s something past perfection, then it’s that too! You made friend Scootaloo look like a true human knight!”

Scootaloo herself looked less nervous as she became eager to see the painting. Though, when she went to hop off the pedestal, Chrysalis called out to her. “Stop! Before you see this, I assume I have your ‘okay’?”

Scootaloo seemed to hesitate for a moment. But then she stopped, and gave a pretty sure nod. “I do. If it’s anything like the painting you did for Diamond, then I know I’m really going to be grateful! Thank you, Chrysalis!”

“What? Thanking me already? You haven’t even seen my handiwork yet.” Chrysalis said, confused by Scootaloo’s words.

“But you still put in the hard work to do it for me, just for me to say ‘yes’ to you. I know I was really nervous when I got here, but you really spent a lot of time on these. And I guess, I dunno, standing here gave me time to think about something I did the other day with Anon and his dad.” Scootaloo replied.

“Egh, you mean that lout didn’t torture you nor Anon? Every time I’m so much as in the same room with that fool, he always does something distasteful. Honestly, I only tolerate him because of Anon. I assume it’s the same with you.” Chrysalis said as she groaned.

“Not really. Okay, I mean, it was almost like that, but not for anything evil or something. Discord, when he isn’t playing O&O, can seem pretty mean and thoughtless, but he really isn’t. All it takes is seeing past his outer shell and understanding one another to make things work. I think I see what Anon sees in you now, Chrysalis. On the outside, you act mean and evil, but on the inside, y-” But suddenly a green bolt of magic shoots past Scootaloo, making her jump off the pedestal and duck for cover.

“I told you when you got here NOT to give me any friendship speeches! I know how it all works, I don’t need constant reminders!” Chrysalis growled, spooking even Scrappy as he tried to calm her down.

“My Queen! It wasn’t her fault! Y-you know how ponies are, they want everypony to feel the cuddly warmness of friendship!” Scrappy said as he hopped in front of Scootaloo, hoping to defend her in case Chrysalis fired another shot.

“I know.” Chrysalis said as she slumped down some and turned the painting over to face Scootaloo. “But this is my home. Therefore, I expect everypony here to follow my rules, and I don’t appreciate being patronized. Anyway, what do you think?”

Scootaloo was still shaking and ducked down. She only peered up a little bit past Scrappy. And while she was impressed with how brave her human self looked, she was too spooked to give an answer beyond “A-a-awesome?”

“Good. Captain, have this painting carefully wrapped for her. I expect nothing less than professional handling of this masterpiece I’ve created. And when you’re done, fetch some of those human oreo cookies from my pantry for our guests.” Chrysalis said as she stood and stretched.

“Yes, my Queen!” Scrappy said with a sudden salute as he looked back at the scared pegasus foal with a smile. “See? Isn’t she the best?”

Scootaloo gulped, slowly standing up. “Y-yeah, the best.”

“...Oh, by the way.” Chrysalis looked back at the throughway with a cruel smile. “Little Sister, you informed Twilight’s pet that he will not be receiving a painting solely based on his utter rudeness of not accepting my invitation, right?”

Diamond stepped past the both of you to greet Chrysalis, even giving a salute like Scrappy would. “Uh huh! I think it was pretty rude too.”

“Yes, well.” Chrysalis falsey frowned as she brought her hoof to her forehead, speaking like a distressed damsel. “I’m afraid that some still believe I’m a menace to society. I don’t blame them, given my past.” But then she began to smirk. “Then again, I kind of prefer it that way. I have this firm belief that one should never lose their bite.”

While that was going on, Spike pulled you back as he began to panic again. “Anon, did you see that?! How was that not evil?!”

…Dammit. “Erm, I mean. She missed her. Uhm…” It was kinda hard to justify such an aggressive display.

“And she knows we’re here! Anon, do you know what that means?” Spike asked as he began to step back towards the entrance doors.

You sighed. “Spike, c’mon. She missed on purpose, and we’re about to get oreos. If Chrysalis was evil, she wouldn’t be offering us oreos.”

“What the heck are oreos!? Is it some sort of evil bug juice?” Spike asked, demanding an answer.

“Spike, it’s literally two little chocolate cookies with cream in the center of each one. They’re really good.” You explain. “C’mon, it’ll be fine.”

“That… Does sound kind of good. B-but, what about what she nearly did to Scootaloo?! How can you possibly defend that?!” Again, Spike demanded an answer out of you.

“Spike, I can’t, okay? But she’s not really going to hurt Scootaloo. Did you see that painting? That’s a work of passion, okay? If you’re worried about how she’ll act during a game of O&O, I promise it’ll b-” Suddenly you’re interrupted as Scrappy rushes in with a platter of oreo cookies.

“Even though I don’t think either of you deserve any, my Queen has offered you these treats and to join us for a movie chosen by our little queen!” Scrappy explained as the platter balanced on his head.

Little queen? Wut?! “What do you mean? Wait, are you calling Diamond ‘little queen’?” C’mon, that’s a bit much, geez, he really takes his role that seriously.

“What’s the problem, Anon? Have you tried these? These taste great! And a movie? Sure, I’m down, if I can get some soda too.” Spike explained as he began to scoff down the oreos.

WUT?! “What the?! Weren’t you just scared a second ago?! And making me go through a moral crisis of having to defend a magic bolt shot?!”

“Pfft, nah.” Spike said as he took the platter, gave you a pat, and walked over into the living room. “No friendship talk, right? I can do that. Hey, are there any gems around here? I wouldn’t mind that too.”

…Dammit, man. What the hell?! You just stood there, dumb faced at Spike’s heel turn.

“Anon, do not worry. I am also super disgusted. He’s like a pig in dragon skin, not worthy of the presence of the queen, little queen, or friend Scootaloo. Well, you sorta aren’t either, but that’s okay, that isn’t your fault. Anyway, I need to fetch more snacks and some drinks! Oh, I know just what to get Scootaloo!” Scrappy said as he rushed out of the entrance hall, leaving you standing there alone.

You looked back into the living room, and to your surprise, everyone, even Scootaloo, was hopping onto the couch as Chrysalis directed Diamond as to where the movies were. It was almost like nothing happened at all.

You just brought your hoof to your face as you contemplated on the entire situation. “Why do I suddenly feel like an idiot?”

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