• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 48 - What to Do About Boredom

After a quick recovery, and Diamond having the maids bring both snacks and tea for everyone, and some sort of ointment for your neck, in which you had to prevent any lewd thought from entering your mind as one of the maids expertly and soothingly rubbed it into your neck, the three of you decided to sit on the couch and discuss a few things. What those things were…

“Well, I guess bouquet hunting isn’t a thing anymore. So, like, what are we going to do today?” Silver asked, looking to Diamond for guidance as she took a sip of her tea.

“I don’t know, but I kind of didn’t feel like going out anyway. Then again, my reason for staying in has gone to the spa. Hmm…” Diamond began to ponder to herself, trying to come up with an idea. It actually didn’t take her long at all to think something up when her gaze came upon you. “Well, actually, since we’re here. Anon, why don’t you tell us about how your life is. I mean, y’know, I know so much about you, but I don’t know enough. I realized that since I don’t live with you, or really see you when you’re alone, all I really know about you is that you’re a hero, that you’re amazing, and loving, thoughtful, cool, strong, and… mmmm, well that’s it.” Diamond then nods, as her expression becomes more determined “And that’s not right! My gosh! How can we even get fake married if I only know so much about you!?” Diamond hops off the couch and starts marching about “Argh!” She yelled to herself in frustration “How could I be so stupid!? All this time, all this time... “ She then looks to you, her frustration then becoming sadness. “I mean, I didn’t even know where you were from until…” But what was unexpected, is that she didn’t break down crying this time. Instead, she looked to the both of you, and started to make commands “Alright then! Silver, Anon, I need suggestions on how to learn more about other ponies, like, right now!”

W-what?! Actually, she really didn’t know too much about you when you thought about it. Then again, there were parts of you she could never learn about until her attitude matured. And her fierce look, it looked like you had to give her something or she might shatter. But her demand itself, its not that hard to resolve. You really should give her more to go on at this point of the relationship since you already have to go through the madness that is a fake wedding. “Well, I mean, just hanging out with them is how to do it. You know everything about Silver, right? She’s your best friend, isn’t she?”

“She is!” Diamond suddenly points to her, startling her “Silver! I know everything about you, right?!”

“Agh! Um! Sure, mostly.” Silver says, her eyes shifting about as she collected herself from the shock.

“Mostly? Mostly?! I’ve known you for almost as long as I’ve lived! How do I only know ‘mostly’ about you?!” Diamond shouted, demanding an answer.

“U-uhh, umm. Well... “ Silver shrugged as she gave her a sheepish smile “I know we always do stuff together, but sometimes I kind of do things by myself. And sometimes… sometimes…” Silver hesitates, afraid to say her next set of words.

“Sometimes? Sometimes what?” Diamond approaches her, her tone becoming more inquisitive by the second

“Umm… Sometimes…” Silver’s ears fold in, as she brings her hoof to her mouth, biting at the edge of it until she finally blurts it out “sometimes I feel you’ll just make fun of some of the things I like, so I keep it a secret, ok!” She yelled, before ducking her head behind her forelegs “Y-you’re not mad, right?”

“No, in fact, I think I get it.” Diamond said as she once again thought on the subject “Ponies have insecurities and fears, and not everypony knows about everything when it comes to their friends. I’m not mad because I also had things I didn’t want to talk about. And I kind of acted out in the wrong way for the longest time because of it. So maybe I know enough about Anon for it to work out after all. But I also know that despite going to his house once, I didn’t really get to check it out too much. Daddy says you can learn a lot about a pony by the way they live, so it wouldn’t hurt to learn a little more about Anon, I’m sure there’s a few things I still need to know. Anon, that’s ok, right? I mean, you’re here in my mansion, so it’s ok if we hang out at your house, right?”

Uhhhh, is that even a good idea? Well, it wouldn’t be too bad if it was just your room. She seems to have things mostly figured out, so it wouldn’t hurt to maybe give her some more insight. Just gotta watch those window blinds. You’ll do it, but she’ll have to respect a few rules first. “Sure, why not? But there are a few rules you’d have to follow. My house can be kind of dangerous.”

“Dangerous? As in, the ‘get hurt’ kind of dangerous?” Silver said, feeling worried over your words. She didn’t like the sounds of that.

“Pfft” Diamond waved her hoof in dismissal “It’s not that dangerous, I’ve been there before.”

“You’ve been there before, yeah, but things have kind of changed. But the rules are also really simple to follow. All we have to do is stay in my room, and not open the window blinds. It won’t be dangerous if you both follow those two simple rules. My room has a some stuff I can show you if you really wanna learn about some other aspects about me, so it really is no issue.” You say, hoping to god they understand your rules. Well, you knew Silver did, but Diamond seemed rather miffed by such a thing.

“Why can’t we step outside? Or explore the rest of your house? You’re the son of chaos, Anon. When I said learn more about you, I not only meant about where you came from and what you do, but also how you live. I mean, your dad is Discord! And I’ve always wondered about things like, maybe…” She looks to you with an expression of suspecting something, and yet she cocked a smirk. “You’re a bit of a prankster like your dad? Hmmm? I’m right, aren’t I?”

Wut? Where did she even get such an idea? “I mean, erm, but I-”

Diamond’s smug look became smuggier when she held her hoof out towards you “Save it. if you think I didn’t take the chance to ask Princess Luna a few things about you, you’re wrong. She told me about what happened last Nightmare Night when I asked her about how you and your Dad get along. Don’t worry, I’m not mad, I know how bad it’d look if everypony knew you were capable of such mean pranks. I mean, a paint bucket over a door? Filled with some sort of skunk juice? Very naughty.”

WHAT?! You weren’t that bad! Ok, wait, no, you did just fuck with Luna pretty good. But wait… YOU’RE NOT THAT BAD A PRANKER! WHO EVEN DOES THE PAINT BUCKET OVER THE DOOR? Wait, you did? No you didn’t. Ugh, Luna must have told her some childified version of the real events of that battle. Though some of the details are a bit fuzzy to even you, you remember that damn Cazaclaw and Nightmare Galaxia or whatever her name was. “Ok, I admit, I do pranks from time to time. There is nothing wrong with that.”

Diamond nods “I agree, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Wut? She agrees? You’d think she’d find that a bad quality, or be mad you tried to prank the princesses at all. “You’re not mad about the fact that I prank ponies, erm, from time to time?”

“I’m just glad to know it’s true. At first I didn’t really believe it, and then I realized I didn’t care, AND THEN I realized I actually did care in the sense that it’s another thing I know about you. I don’t even think it’s that bad a thing, especially since the princesses also seem to be into it. Erm… not that it’s me wanting to be a princess, I’m over that, I just think it seems pretty cool. Maybe cool enough for me to um…” She looks over at you, her eyes seemingly begging for your approval “Try it once? With you?”

Hoo baby! Now we’re talking! Ok, before you get ahead of yourself, you need to realize there is a chance for her to either flake out mid-prank or just be really bad at it. But most importantly, you have to remember not to get her overly involved as well, especially with Discord becoming more daring with his own pranks. “Sure, but there’s really nopony to prank at the moment. As for coming to the house, if you REALLY want to explore it, then you both gotta stick really close to me. I can use the horn to get us out of a jam in case anything happens, but I need to know where you both are so I can be quick about it. Also, we won’t be exploring for long, this is just to learn the kind of place I live in, that’s all. After that, we go back in my room, talk a bit, and that’s it, got it? I'm not really willing to take it further than that.”

“I got it. I got to do something later with Daddy anyway, so just a short exploration is fine. Oh, now I’m excited! Now I get to really see how your house is like! You better be ready to answer all my questions, Anon. Because if it has anything to do with you, then I want to learn about it!”

“Well, actually... “ again, giving it some extra thought, there are a few issues with that “I rarely explore the house myself. Like I said, it’s kind of dangerous, so I stick to my room, the living room, and the basement”

“It’s because the other rooms are super dangerous, right? If that’s what it is, then I vote we just see the places that Anon has been in! I-I mean, like you said, we’re trying to learn more about him, no point in exploring the house if it has nothing to do with him, r-right?” Silver was clearly worried to be exploring any place that might actually be dangerous. She was in no way willing to risk her life in any capacity.

“That’d be cool if I knew how to get to some of them, they shift around from time to time. Even then, only a few are worth… or even safe, to go into. You know, really thinking about it, there really wouldn’t be much to learn about me unless we actually take a risk.” Really, upon thinking about it, if your fate was to be with Diamond, then she was going to have to get used to something that was chaotic in nature. But it also had to be safe. Well, if that’s the case, you’re gonna retract one of your other rules. Who knows, it might actually be fun to spook them. Is that mean to think of? Scaring two little fillies? Well, you really don’t want to spook Diamond too much, you just wanted to give her an idea of how things in your house really was. Silver though? Ehhhhhh… “Alright, I take back the window blinds thing. If you really want to learn about what I do in my own time, you’re gonna have to see what's behind it.”

“Is it really that important?” Diamond asked, skeptical on how something like that can be in any way relevant.

“Yep. Just know this, it’ll be pretty scary. But it’ll be ok, as long as nopony opens the window.” Showing them the X-Captain and the Storm King. Thinking about it, it filled you with pride. To you, they were pretty much living trophies. Accomplishments of things you managed to do. Well, maybe not the X-Captain, that was Chrysalis. But you definitely played a big part in taking down the Storm King. Showing them off. What could go wrong? “Got it?”

Silver, once again, did not like what she was hearing. “Are you serious? If it’s so dangerous, why keep it outside your window? Couldn’t it break in at anytime?”

But Diamond chimed in, curious and ready to see this mysterious danger. “Really? Come on, it’s totally obvious Anon has some barrier or something to keep it from going in. It’ll be fine, come on! Let’s go! Let’s go right now!”

“Diamond, a-are you sure? It kind of feels like, whatever it is, we shouldn’t get it mad or angry. I don't even feel like we should do any exploring either. A-Anon said it's not even worth it." Silver said, still shivering at the thought.

“Well, Silver, you’re welcome to stay if you’re scared. Really, I don’t mind it just being me and Diamond.” You then shrug, and act rather coy. Really, you wanted her to come at this point, this could be funny as fuck. “I really do understand that you’re too chicken for this.”

“Chicken? I-I’m not chicken!” She shouts, still scared, but unwilling to take such an insult. “I’m Diamond Tiara’s best friend! Anything she can handle, and you can handle, I can, like, totally handle!”

“Then it’s settled.” You say as you place your horn on your head. "Oh, Diamond, I have a new way of getting home now. Not much different than the map, but you might find it pretty neat. You remember how it works, right?”

“Mhmm, first you just make a spill, like this.” Diamond tips over the teapot, and makes a puddle on the floor. This, of course, weirds out Silver Spoon.

“Uhhh, I remember how this works and all. But won’t your mom and dad get angry that you stained their floor with tea?” Silver asked.

“No, it disappears when we jump in the portal. Right, Anon?” Diamond asks you, feeling no regret for what she did.

DID IT?! DID IT DISAPPEAR?! Oh cripes, you always jump through it so you never know if it actually disappears or if it gets cleared up. You begin to sweat, and let out an unsure “Y-yes?”

“See? It’s totally ok! So, how does it work now, Anon?” Diamond looks to you again, with big expecting eyes.

“Like this, it’s like real unicorn magic this time. I just aim the horn, and BAM!” And just like that, you open a portal to your room. “Doesn’t even waste a charge or anything.” Unfortunately, both ponies seemed rather unimpressed by this. It killed your enthusiasm pretty quickly. “W-what’s wrong?”

“Ummm, I mean, that’s just you using your horn to open the portal instead of the map. Really, it wasn’t that different.” Diamond says unapologetically.

“Yeah, you kind of made that seem like a really big thing, but it was just kinda the same. Huh, makes me wonder how bad that thing behind your window is.” Silver said, almost smugly, as if not only she was scared for nothing, but if she should make fun of you for making it seem so scary. "You exaggerate too much sometimes, Anon. Like, no offense, but when you're socializing with other ponies and you do that? You'll just make Diamond and yourself look bad."

You just grumble to yourself, silently saying “I’ll show you bad, you little...mngmhnm”

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