• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 10 - Starlight! Help!

Returning to the cottage, you explain to Fluttershy that you had to go for “Training Exam” reasons, and that you could not wait for the cookies or the smoothie. She didn’t take you too seriously at first, stating that there was always time for delicious snacks. But you stress that tomorrow was going to be much worse than you could imagine, and then explain to her what was going to happen.

Fluttershy was caught off guard. She knew how scary it was to perform in front of a crowd, especially in the kind of situation you found yourself in. She nodded and finally understood why you had to leave so early, she also mentioned that she’d have a talk with Discord about his bragging across the town.

You really didn’t want this to be the last moment you’d see Fluttershy for awhile, but this really was important. So with a kiss, a hug, and a loving goodbye, you make your way out of cottage and towards the little bridge. It seems Silver Spoon and Diamond had already gone, probably to respect your privacy with your aunt and to let you focus for tomorrow. Oh boy, you were gonna need all the focus you could get.

Using your map, you transfer to your room and quickly go for your portal door. You shift the dial to Starlight’s town and make your way to her home.

Things had vastly improved over the course of time. The town was now a cross, with the town hall in the center. There were more residents, more greenery, and the overall health and happiness of the town was at an all time high.

Except for the fact that mayorship seems to change within every month or so. No one in town wanted or felt worthy of the title. Sure, there were still elections and some did try to lead the town. But it always ended the same. They quit the position, leaving Starlight to do a bulk of the leading until the next election. She didn’t mind at this point, but she still wished someone would at least take the job seriously and stick with it.

When you reached Starlight’s house, you started knocking on it as calmly as you could. You didn’t want to give her a reason to be on edge or freak out. But the one to answer the door wouldn’t be her, rather it was Trixie in some sort of business suit and top hat. Was that performance wear? Where was the leotard?

Trixie Lulamoon, what a trip she was. Although she had her wagon parked in the back of Starlight’s house, she preferred to live in her home rather than in the wagon itself. Though, she sometimes flips flops on that for some reason. Given the fact she could still be overly smug and cocky, you personally felt that you’d go mad being stuck with her for weeks on end. Still, Trixie was cool in small doses.

“Ah! Anon! What timing! Come and be amazed at the new leader of…” Trixie stops when she realizes something “This place still doesn’t have a name...Ahrm. Anyway! I will change that! For I am the Amazing and Ever Honorable Trixie!”

WHAT?! “G-guh..w-what?!” THEY ELECTED HER?! Your mouth hung open from the utter atrocity of it all.

“Ahh, I can see you are astounded and paralyzed by the utter greatness Trixie exudes!” Trixie gives you a smug grin as she closes your mouth for you with her hoof “Just the reaction I wanted to see.”

“A-a-ahrm..erm..Umm” What do you even say to that? “C-congratul-Ok, wait. How did this even happen? Aren’t the elections still going on?”

“...Yes...But..Erm” Trixie’s bravado began to wane heavily “Considering I am willing to keep the position, I’d like to think that I have a good chance of winning. W-what do you think, Anon?” She was suddenly looking at you for comfort in her endeavor.

“Erm…” She was never going to get elected, you already knew that. She was still much too arrogant and kind of a jerk at times to do that. But, you sigh, give her a smile, and nod at her “I think you’re going to do fine.”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Trixie breaks out in victorious and boisterous laughter “Trixie is truly the best! Step aside, Anon! Trixie has foals to kiss!”

Foals to kiss? That’s so...cartoonish. It nagged at you enough to stop her. “Wait, Trixie! Erm...What about your policies for when you win? They're good, right?”

Trixie stops, blinks at you, then chuckles “Even if I knew what that was, Trixie has no time for that! Don’t bother me, Anon. I’m busy! HAHAHAHAHA!” She walks off laughing near maniacally to herself.

You just silently look at her as you shake your head. Poor poor Trixie. Though, you too were busy, weren’t you? You rush off inside the house, and call out for Starlight.

It took a bit, but Starlight emerged from her basement wearing safety goggles. “Anon? Hey! Wasn’t expecting you today, what’s up?” She says as she puts the goggles to hang on the wall.

“Starlight, hey...Erm, this isn’t exactly a social visit. I kind of need help”

“Help?” At first she was confused until she realized what you could mean by that “Oh, right. Your training exam. Why do you need my help for that? Last I knew, there was nothing magic related to the test at all.”

Well, at least she was on the same page. “There isn’t, but see…” You explain to her everything that has transpired so far. From the Dragon to Spoiled Rich.

“So...let me get this straight, now you have to do more than just pass to impress your future mother-in-law, or else you’ll embarrass her in front of the other elite ponies, which would mean she would be so upset at you that she’d find some way to ruin your life forever. Did I get all that?” Starlight asked, rather calm about it.

Because at this point, you were looking pretty worried. “It’s more than just that. I’m also competing with Scootaloo! If she even comes close to beating me, I’m going to look like a total loser! I mean, I should be able to stomp her no problem. It’s not like she can...Wait…” Scootaloo wasn’t some rando pony you could easily stomp. Nor was she someone you’d love to show up like Sweetie Belle. This was Scootaloo, who, despite your own stupidity sometimes, has stuck with you through thick and thin and has always...mostly been able to see your side of things whenever you looked like the bad guy.

“Anon, are you alright?” Starlight asked as your expression became more dreadful and even frightening. You were suddenly staring right at her.

Suddenly, you began screaming at higher octaves when you realized one horrible little thing. You then rushed over to Starlight, hopped up, and brought her head down by grabbing at her ears. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I ACTUALLY LIKE SCOOTALOO AS A FRIEND! STARLIGHT! I CAN’T CRUSH HER IN FRONT OF RAINBOW DASH! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH! AND SHE BELIEVES IN ME! AHHHHHHHHHHH!” You suddenly grab onto your own head as you also realize… “BUT I CAN’T LOSE EITHER! NOT WITH EVERYPONY WATCHING ME LIKE THAT!” Before Starlight can even recover, you grab her by the ears again and pull her down “BUT SCOOTALOO WILL BE SAD FOREVER!” You then go back to grabbing your own head “BUT I CAN’T LET HER SHOW ME UP!”

Before you could grab onto Starlight again, she lifts you up with her magic and gives you a heavy shake. “Anon! Anon! Calm down! You’re acting loonier than Trixie right now!”

“BUT!...But…” You calm down as she shakes some sense into you. When she puts you down, you look down in shame and worry about tomorrow “How am I supposed to handle tomorrow now? Ugh...Why couldn’t one of those two idiots be in the exam instead? I could have easily ran circles around them.”

“Ok, Anon...What exactly is going on now?” Starlight needed you to calm down so she could figure out what the hell you were talking about.

You look down, sigh miserably, and look to Starlight, your face representative of a broken soul. “Like I said, I need to pass the exam tomorrow with flying colors to make sure I don’t ruin my future mother-in-law’s reputation. But my friend, Scootaloo, she’s been waiting for a moment like this all her life, to prove herself. See, she’s going to be taking the exam too, and it would mean the world to her to pass it in a way that would impress Rainbow Dash.If she was anypony else, I’d have crushed them. But her? Starlight, I just can’t do it. She’s been through enough already.”

“Wow...Erm…” Starlight looked over to her kitchen, then back at you. “Ok, so I think I see where this is going. You’re asking for my help to figure this all out, right? To make sure you pass while also making sure your friend looks good.”

“Yeah...Originally, I was going to ask you for some warm up training. You know, throwing magical bolts for me to dodge and stuff. But now? I dunno…I don’t even know why I came here anymore. I had been looking forward to crushing this thing for awhile, And I still do, I just need to figure out a way for Scootaloo to manage that too without it making me look bad.” You had to figure out a way.

“Well, I was going to suggest a drink for us to sip while we figure it out. But uh...Why don’t you just tie with her?” Starlight suggests.

….wut? “Holy...How...How did I not think of that?!” HOLY FUCK! IT’S SO SIMPLE! HOLY SHIT!

“Well, that’s what stress does to you. It gets you so worried that the simple solutions don’t seem so simple. And as soon as Trixie gets that, maybe I’ll be able to make some coffee again.” Starlight says

“Yeah, I can’t believe I didn’t think about that at all. I could still crush the exam, all I have to do is slow it down in some parts to let Scoots catch up. She’s pretty athletic, you know? She shouldn’t have…” Wait… “Coffee? What, she broke your coffee maker or something?”

“She did, when I was teaching her a better version of “disappearing” that didn't have to do with a smoke bomb. She somehow accidentally sent a magic bolt right into it, turning it to scrap. But that isn’t the problem, the problem is that she’s really insistent in trying to fix it for me. I already told her it was alright, but she keeps trying anyway. Her last repair job ended up bursting into flames. Right now? Kinda afraid to turn it on.” Starlight tells you, as she glances towards the kitchen again.

“Oh...Why doesn’t she buy you a new one?”

“Because she barely has any money as is and I didn’t want her to waste it on me. Ugh, I know, it’s stupid of me, but I couldn’t let her just go and pay for a replacement with what little she had. I just kind of wish she’d stop trying to repair it...Because, y’know, I have the money to get a new one.”

“...So, why don’t you buy a new one?”

Starlight sighs again “Because it’d upset her. She’s trying really hard to make it work, I don’t want to upset her by buying a new one.”

“Well, erm. I guess you’re kinda in the same shoes I am in that regard. So, why not try it now then? Maybe this time she got it.” You ask Starlight.

“I dunno...It’s all set though…” Against her better judgement, she sighs, gives in, and puts faith in Trixie once again “I guess I can give it another shot.”

“Yeah, come on, I’ll even check it out with you. It can’t be that bad.” You say, calmer now that such an easy solution had been found. Man, were you glad you were human, or else you’d probably spent twenty two minutes trying to figure out the solution yourself and telling Starlight how stupid that plan was.

You and Starlight step into the kitchen. She walks towards a rather shabby and kind of dubious looking Coffee Maker and brings her hoof near the on switch. “I don’t even know why Trixie doesn’t test her attempts at fixing this thing herself.”

You shrug “Because she probably assumes it’s fixed...Y’know, because she’s great and powerful and all”

“Yeah...That’s probably it” Starlight braces herself and prepares to turn it on “Get ready, Anon, I have no idea what’s going to happen when I flick that switch.”

You get ready to duck your head, there was no way you were going to get hit this time. “I’m ready, go for it!” God, you were putting faith in Trixie. But with Starlight’s situation kinda sounding the same as yours in some way, you felt oddly generous enough to give her a chance.

“Ok, here I go!” Starlight flicks the switch and produces a magical barrier around herself.

At first it sputters, causing you both to duck. But after that…

“Wait…” You hear it, it was the cool and calming sound of fresh coffee pouring into a cup. “Starlight. Starlight! Look! It works!”

“W-what?” Starlight opens her eyes, and see the coffee maker pour out a simple cup of coffee “No way...It works. Wow, I...Really didn’t expect that.”

“Heh…” That was a sign, you were sure of it. Put your trust in your friend, and do right by them. That’s totally how you planned to do things tomorrow. “There you go, it looks like you’re going to have no problem getting your coffee now, eh?”

“Yeah, and I’m sure I can fix that sputtering it made when I turned it on. Wow, good job Trixie! Ok, well, I guess I can have a cup now since it all worked out. Let me just turn it off and OOH!” The moment she flicked it off, the coffee maker’s nozzle somehow came loose enough to shoot hot coffee at an angle, smothering the entire top part of your head with burning liquid.

“Anon!” Starlight magically pulls the plug to get it to stop. “Ohhh, that’s not good. I-I think I can fix that myself, actually. But, Anon! A-are you ok?!” She looks to you with heavy worry, she could see steam coming off the top of your head. “Anon! I’m going to get the first aid, alright? That coffee can really leave a nas-” But you stop her as you calmly put your hoof up.

Yup, it burned like an asshole. But you were so used to shit hitting your head at this point that this was fucking nothing. “Yeah...don’t even worry about it. Can I just take a bath, get this gunk out of my mane?”

“A-are you sure? A-anon, there is steam literally coming off the top of your head.” She was stunned, both by the possible burning you were feeling and how well you were taking it.

“I’m sure…” Ugh...Always...ALWAYS...something.

“O-ok then...erm, the bathroom is right there, next to the stairs to the basement.” She points, still utterly shocked.

And so you went, calmly and with humiliation, to take a cold shower.

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