• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,415 Views, 1,315 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

  • ...
26
 1,315
 2,415

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 49 - Double Header

So there they were, in your room, looking around. Silver, having never been in your room before, was of course more curious than Diamond when it came to exploring your room. And yet, she seemed unimpressed. “Um, aside from the whole warm bed thing, this doesn’t seem really cool or chaotic. It just seems like a normal room to me, except for that weird clock and… Hmmm?” And then she came across it, the floor door. “Why do you have a door on the floor?”

“Because that’s how I get to the living room. The room isn’t really meant to be chaotic, Silver, it’s meant to be homey. I also wouldn’t try opening that door if I were you, most ponies tend to fall right through.” You tell her. You didn’t really care for her acting snooty, but you didn’t need her falling and hurting herself.

Diamond was going through your drawers, she noticed they weren’t really filled with any clothes, and one had a whole set of Power Pony cards. You remember getting them at your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, and then utterly forgetting them. “Anon, where’s your wedding tuxedo?” She asked.

“Erm, it’s not ready yet. But it will be, really soon. What, you have your dress ready already?” You ask. You don’t really know why, maybe it was because you felt you didn’t need to be that ready yet, and would feel more ok finding out she wasn’t ready either.

“Had it ready for weeks. Anon, come on” She turns to you, and pouts “You’re ready for the wedding, aren’t you?”

Ugh, never mind, of course she’d be ready. Why did you think otherwise? “I am, really! Even got a best stallion… Erm, who happens to be Scootaloo. That’s ok, right? I mean, there’s Spike, but I’m not as close to him as I am Scoots.” If there was one thing you had to thank Discord for, was setting you up with at least that. Really, he was more ready for the wedding than you were… Kind of scary, really.

“I… Guess? Well, it isn’t meant to be perfect. But you better be ready with a proper ‘best stallion’ when we actually get married, got that?” She doesn’t say it too harshly, really, she just found it off you had a filly filling in for the spot.

This girl, it made you smile a little how much she wanted this test wedding to go not perfectly, if only to get her hopes up for the real thing. “I got it… Anyway, girls, this here is the window I was talking about. But prepare yourselves, for what lies behind these blinds is a chaotic being of such horrible proportions that you will scream in fright.” You approach the blinds, then wave your hooves at the girls to emphasize how frightful the experience it might be. You also realize you sounded like Trixie there, or perhaps like Flim and Flam. Ergh, how could you resist being show offy with something like this? It’s pretty big stuff.

Diamond just sat down a few feet away from you, excited, and with a gentle smile. Silver sat next to her, skeptical, and not expecting much. The way she looked, her expression of boredom, you hated it, and couldn’t wait to show her your great trophy.

“Are you two ready?” You ask, trying to sound all grand about it.

“Ready!” Diamond says with enthusiasm, holding her hoof out in an adorable fashion.

“Yup, I’m ready.” Silver just waited, this time not being a cunt, but not all excited either.

“Alright then, here...we...GO!” You move the blinds aside to reveal the giant floating mass that was the X-Captain. But just your luck, it seems he was turned around, because what you saw was the Storm King, who was seemingly moving tentacles on his own, and was tossing and catching a rock he was was bouncing off your window.

“Ewww! What is that?!” Rather than frightened, Silver Spoon was grossed out. Of course she was, anyone would be. The Storm King’s head wasn’t anything frightening when all he is now is a pimple on a round eldritch horror’s ass.

“Hey! HEY!” The Storm King yelled as he missed the stone he was tossing, causing it to bounce off his body and drop downwards into the abyss below him “C’mon, really!? I just learn I can control this body when the screwball is asleep and you’re gonna bother me now!? I was at five hundred thousand bounces too! never gonna beat that record, I’ll tell you that.” The Storm King groaned, frustrated that of all times. Now is the time you choose to open the window blinds.

“I-is that… Is that the Storm King? Anon, why is the Storm King outside your window, and why is he a ball thing?” Diamond was confused, she never would have guessed that you would have someone like him even close to your vicinity.

You really wish he showed up AFTER scaring Silver with the X-Captain. Still, she was at least disgusted, and surprised. “That’s the Storm King?! Why is he even here?! I thought he broke into a million pieces! Anon, like, he’s a really bad guy! Are you… working with him or something?”

But before you can reply, the Storm King lets out a horrendous laugh, as if that was some sort of joke to him “Hahaha! Are you serious?! Work with that pipsqueak? Look, I have no idea what's going on here, but you’re two sensible little fillies, right? As in, you know right from wrong? Well, haha…” Then suddenly, he started yelling frantically, and in a panic “GO TELL SOMEONE, ANYONE, THAT THIS CRAZY KID HAS ME LOCKED UP OUT HERE! LISTEN, EVERYDAY, EVERY STINKIN’ DAY, I GOTTA LISTEN TO THIS MEATBALL SCREAM ABOUT HIS REVENGE. I’M TIRED OF IT! I DON’T EVEN WANT REVENGE ANYMORE! YOUR PRINCESSES WOULDN’T SUBJECT ANYONE TO THIS! SO WHY DO I HAVE TO?! I’M BEGGING YOU! I’M SORRY, ALRIGHT?! HELP-” But his pleas are cut off when you close the blinds. Holy shit! You did not expect that!

Both Diamond and Silver looked bewildered. What they saw was the cries of a pathetic hasbeen king begging for mercy, something you didn’t even expect after his earlier claims of wanting to end you. Diamond looked to you, shocked and worried about what she just saw. “Anon? W-what was that? What did you do to him?”

Why did you detect a hint of empathy? Did she feel bad for him? No way, not only is he evil, but that plea for mercy was total garbage. “I personally punished him. What? What’s the matter? The guy was a tyrant who was going to blow up Canterlot just because he wanted to be dramatic, so I imprisoned him on the body of this other guy who is just as bad, and nearly destroyed me.”

“Another guy? Is that what he meant by ‘meatball’?” Silver wondered, then speculated on what it all meant “Anon, are you,like, keeping bad guys as pets? Isn’t that unethical?”

“Erm, not really. They can’t get through my window, or even leave the chaos dimension. Plus, its just two of them attached to a single body. And again, they totally deserve it. You both understand that, right? I mean, look at Tirek, that guy is meant to be imprisoned forever in Tartarus, right? Same thing! Bad guys are not meant to get rewards, they are meant to be punished, which is exactly what I’m doing. Except my way has to do with really horrible guys, like him.” You explained it the best you could, while in the back of your mind, you wondered why you had to justify this at all, they fucking deserved it!

Diamond looked unsure about the whole thing, and rather uncomfortable. But you could also see she was debating with herself. She knew he tried to hurt you, hurt your friends, and destroy the very capital of Equestria. That seemed like a pretty hefty crime in and of itself. And then, to her, you were her partner, someone she knew she should stand by. And so she stood up, and nodded, deciding that the Storm King did indeed deserve to suffer whatever you did to him. “You’re right, Anon! He’s a bad guy! Besides, I shouldn’t even jump to conclusions, I should have known you were right the moment I saw him. He even said he wanted revenge on you, clearly he’s still evil and needs to be punished!”

And Silver seemed to follow suit, if a bit reluctant about it. “I totally agree, but don’t the bad guys usually just continue to be evil? He was begging us to help him, and he seemed to want to be a better guy.”

“So?” And Diamond, being loyal to you, begins to argue with Silver over that line of reasoning. “That doesn’t mean anything. Look at… Erm, look at…” She had to think hard about her next set of words, clearly she was trying to come up with a good counter point. “Anon’s Dad! Discord. He said he was reformed too, and he still betrayed everyp-” Suddenly Diamond grimaced, not only due to the fact she was insulting her future father-in-law, but because… “ummm… Yeah, and then he was forgiven. And he's actually a pretty great guy.”

Oof, despite that being pretty bullshit, as Discord didn’t really deserve the forgiveness he got, you also know that Chrysalis probably deserved to suffer a similar fate to the X-Captain, as far as your logic was concerned. But they didn’t know the truth about that, so you didn’t need to worry about that point being brought up. “I mean, he was tricked, and didn’t understand friendship despite wanting it from my Aunt. The Storm King is not only as bad as Tirek, but he’s as bad as Sombra too, and that guy didn’t even get imprisoned the second time, he got straight up blown up! The same thing the Storm King was gonna do to all of us if I didn’t help stop him. He doesn’t care about friendship, he just wants a free ride out of here.” Again, the fact you had to justify this was insane. And yet, you were glad Diamond had your back on it. Hell, you were surprised Silver had an actual moral fiber. Then again, she’s a stooge who follows anything Diamond does, so she must have become more moralistic when Diamond started to.

“It makes sense to me. See, Silver? How can you argue that?” Diamond asks, nodding her head in a dominant fashion.

“I guess that makes sense. I just, I dunno, sometimes I think about the times we made fun of Applebloom and her friends, we totally did that a lot, and we kind of got away with it in the end. I was just thinking maybe he’s not so bad. But if he is, then that other guy must be just as bad, right? I mean, the Storm King even apologized, that seems like he wants to make things right.”

Was this bitch fucking serious? Fine, fuck it, she wants to wonder about the ‘other guy’? Then you’ll show him to them both. Given the X-Captain’s eternal rage and great lunacy, they’ll have to see, for sure, that what you did was right. The guy is a menace that you could never let free, and you need to make sure they both understand that one hundred percent. “Trust me, he’s pretty bad. In fact, let me wake him up, and you’ll see exactly why their stuck in this dimension.”

And with that, you had the girls sit down and prepare themselves once again. What you planned to do was just yell out for the guy, surely he would hear you and turn around before the Storm King could say anything. Once the girls see this asshole, they’ll see that you’re in the right, for sure.

However, when you do move the blinds, it already seemed the work was done for you. The X-Captain was pressing his entire body on the window, sliding and scraping his tongue on the glass as his horrible yellow gaze fell upon the girls, his sharp teeth glistening with his saliva “Anoooon, you brought treeeats, hahahaHAHAHA!” He cackled in delight.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Silver shrieked in pure fright, her grey coat becoming pure white. While the Storm King just looked like a head on a sphere, the X-Captain was truly a horrifying sight that you have since become accustomed to. “I DON’T WANT TO BE EATEN!” She screamed and ran towards the bed to hide under it. But, so blinded by her own fear, she ends up smashing her face onto the bed post and walking back in a daze, walking onto your floor door. When she snapped out of it, she made another yell, opened the floor door, and like the ponies before her, seemed to forget that a door on a floor would lead to a fall. And man, did it never get old for you as you heard her shriek and plummet with a thud.

Now, for Diamond, you would have caught her if she somehow ended up making that mistake. But she didn’t seem scared, nor did she act it, she just stared at him, intrigued and rather angry. “Hey! That’s my best friend you just scared! You jerk!”

“Scare? I didn’t do that to scare, I really do plan to eat you, him, and everypony in my future kingdom. And tell me, why aren’t you scared? Don’t you realize that your destruction is guaranteed once I am free of this place? Or are you a blockhead like Anon?” He says with a low and cruel chuckle.

“Oh pleeeeeeeeeeease, you’re just a floating beach ball with teeth. I already know you can’t get in here, you’re Anon’s prisoner after all. You can’t do anything. So there! Hmph! Now apologize.” Diamond raised her nose to him, finding him a disgusting sort and already not worth her time. Really, her bravery was kind of cute. Normally, especially when she was an ass, seeing something so grotesque would have scared her. You must have really been leaving a mark on her at this point.

“PRISONER?! APOLOGIZE?!” The X-Captain’s eye turned red with rage, unable to handle both the demand and the great insult “HOW DARE YOU! I AM-”

But then Diamond, suddenly releasing a rage of her own, hops up and starts screaming in a girlishly shrill voice. “NO! HOW DARE YOU! I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BUT IT WAS OBVIOUSLY BAD ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU OUT THERE! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW PATHETIC YOU LOOK?! SCREAMING ALL THAT ABOUT BEING A KING WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THROUGH A WINDOW?!”

The X-Captain’s eye went back to yellow, suddenly disarmed from being yelled at. He opened his mouth and raised a tentacle to try to say more or interrupt her. But Diamond was having none of that. “I AM NOT DONE! IT’S OBVIOUS TO ME THAT YOU’RE JUST A RUDE AND THOUGHTLESS BALL THING THAT TOTALLY IS SO FULL OF HIMSELF THAT HE CAN’T EVEN SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF HIS ONE STUPID EYE! WHO ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO IMPRESS, OR EVEN SCARE?! YOU MUST BE ALONE OUT THERE, LIKE, NINETY NINE PERCENT OF THE TIME! AND EVEN THEN, FOR THAT ONE PERCENT, EVEN ANON THINKS YOU’RE A DRIP! BIG, BAD, AND UTTERLY STUPID! WHY DON’T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?! NOPONY CARES ABOUT YOU, NOPONY CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, AND EVEN THE STORM KING THINKS YOU’RE DUMB! SO STOP THINKING YOU’RE SCARY, BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT! AND GET A LIFE, YOU LOSER! YOU’RE A LOSER, AND YOU’LL ALWAYS BE A LOSER! FOREVER!” Diamond finally ended her rant, breathing hard, panting, furious that something like that filled her friend with fright and threatened you in any capacity.

You just… stopped. You blinked, expressionless, and looked over to the X-Captain, who had fallen silent. The X-Captain himself just stared at her, silent, stunned, and unable to speak. Then slowly, his yellow eye began to turn a dark blue as it filled with tears. And then finally, he began to sob and cry. “You didn’t have to be so mean about it! I-I was trying my best! Being a horrible mutant thirsting for domination is really hard when you can’t even… even…” Then suddenly he became wracked with grief as he brought his tentacles to his eyes, crying harder as he thought about her words “You’re right! I can’t even get through the window! But what else am I supposed to do? I already tried reading the books that float around here, and they don’t help, all I want to do is get revenge and rule the world. Is that so wrong? I know it is, but I just want it soooo bad! Why can’t anypony understand that?”

“It’s not that hard to understand, it’s just really wrong and nopony wants to be ruled over by a jerk like you! Everypony gets it, you’re a bad monster, but you’re a bad monster who will NEVER rule anything because you’re trapped here, by my partner, because you’re an evil loser who can’t even get through the window! Now go be stupid somewhere else!” Diamond barked at him, and pointed towards him, to imply to leave.

“I-I… I… I… NGWAAAAAA!” The X-Captain became hysterical at this point, and flew off, crying. Hell, you could have sworn you heard him call Diamond a meanie, as if he was just a stupid child.

Diamond just nodded, wiped her brow, and took a small breath “Whew, I sure showed him. Big jerk, who does he think he is scaring Silver like that? Right, Anon?”

Did… That just happen? That wasn’t real, how could that be real? Wut? “Uhhh-uhh, Y-y-yeah. You really weren’t scared of him?”

“Well, at first, I kind of was. But then he scared Silver so badly that she ended up hurting herself, and then he insulted you! I just couldn’t let that fly. It’s not like he could hurt any of us, right?” She asks, feeling proud of herself.

“U-Uhhm, yeah, he couldn’t really do anything from out there.” It really did happen, holy fucking shit.

“And that’s why I realized there was nothing to be afraid of, because I trusted your word. If you say he can’t hurt us, then I’m going to believe it. The guy is just full of hot air anyway, a real lame brain. Oh! Erm…” Suddenly, she gets a bit sheepish. “We better make sure Silver is ok.”

“Yeah…” Good god… She beat the X-Captain.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!