With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...
With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...
But that new school Twilight is having built might be a bad place to start.
Another moon sinks into the distance as the sun rises to brighten everyone’s day.
Well, except for you.
You didn’t exactly live in the happy-go-lucky land of Equestria. No, you lived in a dimension that was adjacent to it through unknown means, the dimension of chaos.
You were no ordinary colt. You were Anon, the cross-dimensional human turned pony and the son of the spirit of chaos himself, Discord.
You wake up on your enchanted bed, it’s warmth as comforting as a hug, and make your way to your dresser with a tired yawn. “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m up. Dammit Rainbow, your training sucks sometimes, I swear. But…” You flex your legs a little bit and do a little stretch. “I gotta admit, I do feel better.”
Months has passed since the exodus of Chrysalis from your basement. Without her, your life began to become more streamlined and less chaotic as your friendship with her wavered from the minds of those who knew.
You look upon your dresser. On it was a myriad of photos of treasured memories. Once before you had wondered how certain photos had appeared without any apparent camera being about, but sometime after Chrysalis had run off, more photos had begun to appear. It made you realize that the dresser too was enchanted, producing photos from your stronger memories. And although not all the photos you had were natural, there were quite a few that came from such magic.
You looked upon the photos that you treasured most, and recalled some of the memories from them. The family photo, taken from your earlier days of Equestria, those were some times. You and Diamond, cuddling together, you had really grown to love her. Of course, you had to watch that libido of yours at times, it was a little wild. You, Lyra, and Bonbon, smiling for a photo.
There was one of you and Daring Do. You remembered that adventure, sad you never got to keep lolizatl, it would have made a cute pet to give to Diamond. Another photo, this one of you and the gang from the other dimension, obviously formed from an especially strong memory. You hoped Mr.Rich had found his family, and that Celestia had kept the world from being frozen from the Windigos.
Another photo, not one you really wanted to remember. This one? It was a photo taken by Spike. It was you next to a pony named Stygian. A pony who was formerly the Pony of Shadows and one you had nearly blasted into dust on the hunch it was just an evil being. When Twilight had saw you were actually killing him, she managed to pull you away from your attack and save the weakened Stygian from his shadowy machinations. Lucky for you, ponies were of a forgiving sort. And they did understand that you were going off Starswirl’s earlier suspicions of Stygian being straight out evil. Truly a set of circumstances you just wanted to forget, but kept a photo of just in case.
And here, a photo taken of you, Starlight, and Trixie. How the hell did this happen? You ask yourself this sometimes. Trixie had taken your suggestion and taken her tour to Starlight’s town. And according to Starlight, Trixie’s curiousness of Starlight’s magic and the strange “item” she carried around led to the both of them befriending one another through their similarities...Which mostly meant their time as outcasts. Still, from what you’ve seen of their friendship, it seems to be true enough. But man, Trixie is quite a trip now that she’s become a member of the town, and her smugness seems to have gone back to normal too.
Oh, you liked this photo. Forged from the memory of you and Tempest after the Storm King’s defeat. Although it seemed your memory may have been a little skewed as it had you and her posing with very happy and warm smiles. You know THAT never happened, but it must have been such a strong thought that it formed as a photo anyway.
And here is one of you, Big Mac, Discord, and Spike as your O&O selves. Ogres and Oubliettes, you still can’t fucking believe that’s what Spike meant by guys night. And as you look at the photo, you could still feel how you weren’t as in to it as they were. Sure, they may have been due to a critical miss with you cutting some rope and instead lodging your battle axe into your skull, but that was neither here nor there. Yep, Spike as the wizard, Garbunkle. Big Mac as the unicorn knight, Sir Biggum, Discord as the archer, Captain Wuzz. And you as Conan the Barbarian, with your big ass axe and viking helmet. Too bad Discord had to also give you the business about using a human pop culture reference for your character. But dammit, you didn’t care, it was just a damn game. Not like he could talk anyway, he wanted to bail too at the start, not your fault he got into it. But, you had to admit, Seeing him have more friends was warming to the heart.
And then there was…
“Mnnn…” You looked at the next photo with a somber look. You and Chrysalis, yelling at each other in an adorable fashion. This was so long ago. You put the photo face down with a sigh, you had moved on with your life since then, and remembering the old times only made you feel miserable. Still, you kept her car in perfect condition, for the just in case.
That was the past, and you only had the future to look forward to. You had friends who wanted to be there for you, and vice versa. Those were the ones you had to focus on now.
You opened your dresser as you recalled one more thing in your mind. Discord, the guy who made it all happen. Your friend, your father, and a true blue asshole, and you loved that about him. Everyday, every goddamn day, he somehow made it both exciting and scary at the same time. But most importantly, it was always interesting. You don’t know what’d you do without him. Discord, he was there for you when you needed him the most, and under that chaotic facade, he really cared. You could see how Fluttershy was able to see his good side when everyone else saw him as just an asshole.
Ahh, but the time to reminiscence was over, for today was going to be a great day! Due to you and Discord becoming closer to Spike and Big Mac, Spike had the brilliant idea of turning a morning where you all were free into a day of team bowling. Heh, you had to chuckle to yourself as you pull your bowling shirt from your dresser and put it on, it was finally happening, and with Big Mac and Discord along, you were sure you’d be able to crush any team that dared challenge the lot of you. God, it had been so long since he originally asked, and to flake out now would be pretty assholish.
Plus, for the last few weeks, you had been training with Rainbow Dash to improve your body as per Mr.Rich’s request. And tomorrow was your “final exam” so to speak, with today being your resting day. So yeah, why not test your newfound skills in crushing some other bowling team in the art of...erm….bowling. Spike had mentioned Big Mac had lined up the perfect team for you all to face, and you were raring to go.
You put on a blue bowling shirt with a black collar and the words “The Guild” on the back of it. It was the name Spike had decided to name the team after winning a die roll between the four of you. You were fine with it. A little TOO nerdy for your taste. But hey, a dice roll is a dice roll.
After putting on the shirt, you looked upon the family photo and smiled at Fluttershy. “I’m gonna make you proud tomorrow, I promise.” Then you look over to Diamond’s and flex your leg “And once you get a load of me, you’re gonna have to ask your dad how you suddenly became so wet, ohhhh yeah.” You were pretty pumped for today,tomorrow, and whatever else the future would bring.
You then look over to your window. Hell, you felt so great that you decided to greet the overgrown meatball… And his newest friend. So you smirked, pulled the line to raise the blinds, and got ready to give out a great big “GOOD MORNING, X-CAPTAIN!”
The large beholder like mutant changeling, with his tentacles full of holes, hovered in his usual spot. Yes, as always, he was there waiting behind the window for his opportunity to barge inside and feast upon your flesh. But this time he seemed rather annoyed. Actually, it was a rather odd and new sight to see from him for once as he did his best to focus on a rather small book he was reading.
He slowly shifted his single eye to you and groaned “What’s so special about the morning? You can’t even tell it’s morning.”
Ok then… “Er, uhhh…” You were speechless, you had expected the usual routine of closing the blinds on him. But he was acting rather unusual. “What’s with the book?”
“Oh this?” He holds the book up to you, it seemed to be a book of old legends. “Something that floated by. But you must be wondering why I lack the desire to enact my perfect plan of destroying you, the queen, and everything else really.”
It was odd hearing him so calm, he sounded almost like his old self. “I-I guess. I mean, are you finally off of that and wanting to become good?”
The X-Captain scoffed at your words “Haha…no. Your destruction will come soon enough. Right now, I’m trying to take my focus away from myself. You know…” He suddenly looks at you with a flaring red eye “BECAUSE THE WRETCHED BEING YOU STUCK TO MY BACKSIDE WON’T STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW HE LOST! HOW HE’S STUCK ON MY BACKSIDE! AND HOW HE HAS THESE HORRIBLE PLANS OF JUST WANTING TO CONQUER THE WORLD! WHO WANTS TO CONQUER IT WHEN YOU CAN DESTROY EVVVVERRRYYYTHING! YOU’LL RUE THE DAY YOU DID THIS TO ME, ANON! I WILL DESTROY YOU, FIND A WAY TO REVIVE YOU, AND THEN DESTROY YOU ONCE MORE! I SWEAR IT! EVEN WHEN HE ISN’T SCREECHING! I CAN STILL HEAR HIS STUPID STUPID THOUGHTS! REEEEEEEE!”
Ahh, there we go. Classic X-Captain.
The being he was talking about was the Storm King. After you and Discord had fun with his head, you had decided to stick him in a place most befitting of his personality...The X-Captain’s metaphorical ass.
The Storm King…
This guy, under his smarmy business like demeanor laid the black heart of a brutal tyrant. He was willing to kill,conquer, and destroy to get what he wants. He was even willing to blast Fluttershy into nothingness without a second thought. They way he brutalized you, the way he treated your friends, his malicious nature cruel enough to blast Canterlot into dust just because he couldn’t have his epic final battle. You felt death was too good for him, and you could never let the princesses know he was still alive either. His evil nature awoke some of your own sleeping human nature when it came to punishment and vengeance. He couldn’t get away with what he had done, and so you felt this was a proper punishment; a punishment even Tartarus couldn’t provide. Sure, you could be malicious and put him through eternal pain. But you felt being stuck with the ever screeching kidney stone may be an even worse punishment than that.
You smirk at the X-Captain and swirl your hoof about “Alright, alright. Turn around and I’ll have a chat with him, I’ll see if I can calm him down.”
“YOU’LL REMOVE HIM, OR ELSE!” The X-Captain slams his tentacles onto the window and slithers them about in rage.
You just shrug “I mean, I could...But I won’t. So it’s either this or you deal with him yourself.”
“ANON! I SWEAR! YOU WILL DO IT OR I’LL MAKE THINGS WORSE FOR YOU! THE IMBECILE WON’T EVEN CALM DOWN ABOUT MY NEWLY ACQUIRED ABILITY TO PRODUCE FECAL MATTER! WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?! I ONLY GO ABOUT SIX TIMES A DAY! IT RELIEVES ME OF SOME OF THE STRESS OF AWAITING THE DAY OF YOUR DESTRUCTION!” The X-Captain continues to screech without rest.
Lordy, you didn’t realize it was that bad….good, the fucker deserves it. “Well, that ability to relieve yourself came from me. So, you kinda owe me one. So again, either I talk to him or I’m just going to go.”
The X-Captain goes silent for a moment and just gives you a hard stare. Then,with an annoyed grunt, he slowly spins around to reveal the ever deformed head of the Storm King on his back side. His monkey hairs thinned and ghostly white, and his skin grafted with the mutated chitin of the X-Captain’s spherical body. He looked like a wreck, but he was still capable of coherent thought despite his homely form. He looked pretty disheveled at the moment, like he barely slept.
“Yo, Stormy, what’s up?!” You say to him with a cheerful smile “Not getting along with your new friend?”
“Ugh...guh? YOU!” The Storm King suddenly becomes alert as he darts his eyes towards you “You little pipsqueak! Finally! You’re going to undo this spell or you’re gonna suffer real bad. Trust me kid, I know people.” He was putting on a sudden tough front.
Welp, at least he and the X-Captain have a lot in common when it comes to threatening you. “That’s a lot of shit you're spouting there, Stormy. Something I’ve heard you’ve been doing a lot of these days.”
The Storm King’s right eye twitched in anger as he bared his crooked teeth for a moment. Oh yeah, he was super pissed off. But he kept his cool, it was obvious he had been thinking of something to say to you for quite some time. “Kid, it is the worst experience in my life, every time. Look, I get it, you’re still upset about the whole “invasion” thing. I get that, but don’t you think your princesses would get a little testy to know you’ve enacted cruel and REALLY unusual punishment instead of sending me to...Oh, I dunno...Tartarus or something? Last I checked, they kind of frown at this sort of treatment. So, come on, you’ve had your fun. So at least send me there, because you know they’ll find out eventually. And what then? Huh?”
This fucking guy. You wondered how long he was prepping that pathetic attempt to persuade you. You already let the princesses rip you away from a friend. Sure, said friend had a ton of crimes on her back that you couldn’t just make go away, but still. And this guy? He was no friend, and you weren’t going to let the princesses even realize what you’ve done this time. He deserves this. If he had won, you don’t know what you would have done had you survived his attack on Canterlot. And if you didn’t survive, then you were sure whatever Discord would have in mind would be a million times worse. Fuck the princesses mercy, and fuck this guy.
“I don’t care. So deal with it, because the only reprieve you’re gonna get from now on is trying to get along with your new friend you’re stuck with.” You tell this to him with a smile, but your eyes were filled with hatred for him.
“GRRR..Guh...mmnn” The Storm King nearly loses it. But he calms himself again and tries to appeal to your better nature. “C’mon, kid. All this guy talks about is about destroying you. And his screaming? There are days I can’t even sleep! Have a heart, kid. Don’t you think I’ve had enough? I don’t even have a body of my own anymore. C’mon, cut a deal with me. Anything you want? It’s yours, just get me out of here!” He was really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
“Let me tell you something. You threatened my friends, my home, and my family. I don’t give a DAMN about what the princesses think. I don’t give a fuck how bad your suffering is. This is your new home now, and you’re going to deal with it. And don’t even try to tell me you can better yourself either. Sorry, I don’t care if you can or can’t. You fucked up, and now you gotta deal with it. Or maybe I should put it in a way you can understand.” You look at him with a deathly stare as you put on your horn. Maybe this was a waste of a charge, but you really wanted to send a message to him. Using your magic, you turn temporarily turn your room into a gigantic fireworks display. And donning a tophat and cane, you point to a gigantic elaborate billboard that says “Mercy for sale!”.
You give him a sneaky salesman smirk as you adjust your tophat “See that?”
“Yeah!” The Storm King, being desperate for an out, answers as predictably as you thought he would “How much?”
“Ooooohhhh!” You say with false pained strain in your voice “All out! All sales are final too! No refunds! And that’s the last I’ll ever be sellin’” You then rest your legs on your cane as you rest your head on your legs, giving the Storm King an arrogant smirk “So, get it now?” You say as everything begins to revert back to once it was.
The Storm King finally releases his pent up rage, he could no longer contain himself. “YOU LITTLE! I SWEAR! I WILL DESTROY YOU! YOUR FAMILY! EVERYTHING! YOU THINK THIS IS OVER?! OH NO! IT’S ONLY BEGUN! AND..no...NO! HAHA! I WON’T DESTROY YOU! I’LL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAVE! OH YEAH! PEOPLE ARE GONNA PAY TO SEE WHAT I’VE GOT LINED UP FOR YOU! YOU HEAR ME!?”
You then hear the X-Captain speak “FINALLY! HE FINALLY GETS IT! TOOK HIM LONG ENOUGH!”
You just shrug as you prepare to close the blinds “Ok then, you do that. Yo, X-Captain, you good now?”
“YES!” The X-Captain yells as he quickly turns around to thank you while the Storm King whines that he wasn’t done screaming his revenge “WE’RE FINALLY THINKING AT THE SAME LEVEL! FINALLY! I mean, that won’t mean I’ll give you any mercy! BUT AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER ANYMORE! THIS CALLS FOR A VICTORY POOP!”
You just nod to him and chuckle “You do that, have fun!”
You close the blinds as you hear the Storm King beg for his sanity.
You then look to the floor door as you adjust your mane “Well, that was fun. I hope Discord is ready, because we got a game to win.”
Chapter 2 - Bowling Practice and Twilight's Letter
You made your way down to the living room as you called your faux father’s name. “Discord! Yo, Discord! You ready yet?”
Suddenly, you hear the rumbling of some mysterious large object coming towards you. Another prank? Ha! You were ready this time! You stay alert and look all along the walls, floor, and ceiling for whatever was coming at you. As the sound grew louder, you see a giant bowling ball phase through the wall where the front door was. You dodge it easily, then look back at it with a cocky grin. “HA! Nice try, Discord! But my senses are much sharper now. There’s no way you’re gonna hit MEEEAGGHH!” You are cut short by the coming of a second ball as it rolls over you and brings you along with it until it phases through another wall, leaving you flat on it's wallpaper'd exterior. You slowly slide down and fall on your head as you hear the words “I made the spare!”
“HAHA! Now that’s what I call a practice session!” Discord poofs in with a flash as he looks upon you like an accomplished work of art. “Anon! My dear, Anon! We are sure to win today! Oh yes, whoever dared to challenge us will be in for a rude awakening!” He says as he rubs his talons and paw digits together.
God-Fucking-Dammit…
“N-ngh, t-the hell?!” You slowly rise up and look at Discord with scrunched up annoyance “Discord! You couldn’t have used actual pins or something?! Why me?! Why?!”
Discord shrugged “Why not? You were there, I was over here, and it was the perfect distance in trying out my bowling arts since I apparently won’t be allowed to use magic. What, was it not good enough?”
You sigh, why do you even bother trying to tell him that sometimes he’s too much of an ass. “Did you have to keep throwing balls until you fucking hit me? That really hurt, you know? You don’t think that maybe sometimes you should tone it down a tad?” You say as you brush yourself off.
“What?” Discord looked confused, then pulled out a rulebook of some sorts and thumbed through it “Anon, don’t I get a second chance at rolling the ball if I fail to make the strike? I only threw two balls.” He then sighs and shakes his head with a sigh “There you go again, exaggerating the circumstances.”
“Christ, Discord. If you’re going to pull from a fucking rulebook then you should know that you need to use at least ten pi-.....oh come on now.” You looked around to see nine more versions of you looking around in curious fashion. “Really?”
Discord conjures a normal sized bowling ball and prepares to roll. He eyes you closely as the center front pin as he preps himself “Anon, I never do anything without my magic. Practice for today’s game is important.”
“So, you’re just gonna use me like that, huh?”
“Just for this last roll” Discord says as he pulls the ball back, targeting you with a single eye.
“That’s what I thought...GET HIM!” You point forward like a commander as your clones spring to action and tackle Discord down.
“HEY! WHAT IS THIS?! MUTINY! MUTINY I SAY!” Discord says as he gets tackled down.
Woah, that actually worked?! “Ha! How does it feel to have a taste of your own medicine?”
Discord immediately snaps his talons to make the clones vanish from his person. He slowly stands up and brushes himself off as he looks at you with annoyance. “Now that’s just bad form, Anon. Turning my own magic against me like that? Just terrible. How did you even manage that?”
“I’ve been learning. I’m your protege, remember? You created clones of me using chaos magic, so of course they were going to have some semblance of consciousness. It’s kind of like when you create clones of yourself, they all have this slight variance in personality and consciousness.” You then knock on your head with a smirk “See? I pay attention”
“Indeed…” Discord says in a low voice as he rubs his beard. He was feeling pride build up within him, but he didn’t feel celebratory in an extravagant sense. Rather, he walked up to you and gave you a gentle pat as he looked upon you with a fatherly smile “Good job, Anon. You’re really coming along nicely when it comes to chaos.”
“Well, I learned from the best. Plus, it’s not like my life has been calm or anything like that. There’s always something crazy going on to learn from. So, you ready to go or what? I don’t think the guys would appreciate us wasting time here.” Heh, you felt pretty good right now. You managed to turn Discord’s magic against him with but a simple realization. You were definitely getting better.
“I suppose. But, there is still one more thing.” Discord pulls out a purple envelope sealed with an emblem representing Twilight’s cutie mark “Another one of these arrived in the mail.”
“Ugh…Another one?” You knew what that was. Twilight, in her infinite dumbness, had the bright idea of having a friendship school. It was still under construction, but it wouldn’t be too long now until it was finally ready. For some reason, she felt you should attend. But fuck that, that was stupid. Even you knew something like friendship can’t be taught at a fucking school, that kind of thing comes naturally. Worst yet, this was the sixth letter she fucking sent.
“Afraid so. So, what will it be? Do you want to use a flamethrower or should we blast it with a giant laser?” Discord asks as he looks at the letter with disdain.
You groan, you really didn’t like the fact that she was trying so damn hard with these letters. “Just toss it, I don’t care. Why can’t she take the hint? I don’t want to go to her stupid school.”
“And I back your decision one hundred percent.” Discord says as he puts the letter in a sandwich and guzzles it down like a drink. “And while I hate to make sense of why Twilight is persistent, it is probably due to the fact that you haven’t made any effort to reply”
“Shouldn’t me not replying send the message?” Like, yeah, what the fuck?
Discord smirks at you and pokes at your forehead “Did you suddenly forget where you are? Since when did our purple princess ever get the hint?”
Dammit…
You swipe Discord’s paw away as you realize your own ignorance. “Alright, alright. I get it, I guess I can have a word with her since we’re gonna be stopping by the castle anyway.”
Discord looks at you with a pouty face “Do you mind if I watch? Pwetty pwease? I want to see her reaction when you tell her 'no'”
“You’re actually asking?”
“Yes, but even if you say no, I’m going to listen in anyway. I’m just taking the fifty fifty chance of actually being wanted for this.” Discord says as he straightens his bowling shirt.
“Discord…” Actually, you could see that saying no to Twilight was going to cause some sort of an upset. But goddammit, it better not, she should be able to accept that you don’t want to go….right? Either way, you’d appreciate it if Discord didn’t nose in on this one. “Maybe another time. This is all friendship related. Twilight is going to be all sensitive about it and I’d rather deal with it on my lonesome.”
“Ugh, really? Come now, Anon. I wouldn’t even say a word, I could just watch” Discord tries to appeal to you any way he can. He was coming to respect your decisions...mostly. But he still wanted to have his way. “What if I gave you unlimited charges for a week?”
OHHHHH GAWD. Now that’s tempting.
But…
“Ugh, now that hurts. I’d love that, but Twilight is still my friend, I really don’t want to make things worse than they are probably going to be. Look, we’re supposed to be going bowling with the guys, right? What if you being there wastes too much time? What then?”
“Right! I forgot that Big Mac has that whole delivery thing to the superior Twilight’s town. Alright, alright. But don’t take too long then, because if you’re the reason we miss out on the game then I’ll be practicing on you for the rest of the day.” Discord says as he holds a pin with a head resembling your own. He then lashes at it with his tongue, knocking it down to the floor.
Cripes…
“Yeah yeah, I get it. Oh, one more thing. Are you sure you couldn’t get Fluttershy to see my final training exam tomorrow? She said she was pretty upset that she had to leave to deal with something with Thorax. And...you know...It can’t be that important.” You really wanted her to be there for tomorrow so you could show her just how great you’ve become recently. But apparently Thorax had been wanting to open the kingdom to visitors, and Fluttershy being the kind one, was asked to show the changelings how to be super extra welcoming on that very fucking day. How could they need help? They all became motherfucking pussies since he took over.
“I tried. Oh, I tried. I even went to the extreme of mentioning that you could meet your end from it. And she did mention that she tried to ask the others to fill in for her, but their all so busy now. You don’t even see Rarity at the boutique much anymore these days. Not that I care, but it does cause Fluttershy to leave her usual spots to go to the big city. And then you know how that goes, her being amongst the public means me being there would spook them too much. Ugh, trust me Anon, even I’m annoyed about this whole changeling business. I was sure we were done with them, but apparently not. But don’t fret, I’ll still be there...You wanted that…” Discord suddenly looks at you, in wanting of your approval of his presence “Right?”
“Ok, c’mon. Don’t get worried that I wouldn’t want you there just because of your little bowling prank. I appreciate it actually. I know how you don’t like to sit around doing nothing, so the fact you’re willing to go through that much for me means a lot.”
“Well that’s good to hear. I mean, who wouldn’t want this hunk of chaos rooting them on for victory? And since I am technically your father, I suppose I should say a word of comfort about tomorrow.” He raises his talon and makes a snap.
Suddenly, you are in an audience full of Discords as Discord himself stands at a podium. He clears his throat and speaks into a microphone to the crowd below him “Hello, I am Discord, Anon’s father. I am proud of my son, and I know he’ll do great tomorrow. He has nothing to fear as his progress in his training has been...somewhat...good? Hmm, that’d be the truth, but let’s lie a little and say he has been doing perfectly. Ahrm, anyway, the point is that he has made phenomenal progress due to his natural abilities and willingness to improve. Qualities that every pony should have if I do say so myself. Of course, all of this wouldn’t be possible without me. So…” Suddenly, he sounds like some kind of rambunctious preacher man. “CANNNN I GET A STAAAAANNNNDINNNGGG OVATION!” He cries as he wiggles his arms up in the air.
All the Discords rise up and cheer, hoot, and dance in honor of the Discord at the podium as you just stare with a raised eyebrow. Goddammit, he just had to do that.
Everything then suddenly returns to normal in a flash as Discord stands there with an arrogant grin.
You just roll your eyes and let out a chuckle. He was such a lovable asshole sometimes. You could read between the lines of his speech, you knew what he actually meant. “Ok buttmunch, you had your fun, let’s just get going, alright?”
“Gladly, I don’t want to use up any of our spare time anyway. I want to talk to Spike a little about our next campaign.”
Ugh...Dammit. “Really? But we just finished one.”
Discord seemed a little offended by that “What? Are you saying you wouldn’t want to start another adventu- Ohhhhhh….” Discord snickered “You’re still upset about that bad roll”
You didn’t want to talk about it “C-can we just go?”
Discord let out another little chuckle “Whatever you say, Conan”
And in a flash, you both were inside Twilight’s castle, or to be more exact, right inside the cutie mark chamber.
“Oh hey! You’re both here!” You hear Spike say. It seems he had already been waiting and ready for the both of you all morning, not at all surprised by your sudden appearance. “Awesome! I’ve been waiting all morning to show you guys something that’s gonna get you pumped!”
“Woah! Slow down! We just got here” You didn’t even get a chance to look around the area to see who and what was around, and you did notice you were one member short. “Hey, where’s Big Mac?”
“He’s already at the alley.” Spike holds up a bowling bag with a confident smile on his face “As for us, I got us something that’ll show everypony that we mean business.”
“Mean business? Ohhhh!” Discord gets excited and zips over to Spike to look over the bag “Are we going to blow open a tear in reality to send our opponents through with whatever is in that bag?” Discord then stands tall as he shakes his fist in the air “TO SHOW OUR ADVERSARIES THAT THE GUILD IS THE ULTIMATE IN ALL THINGS BOWLING!?”
“Uhhhhh...sort of?” Spike looks a little put off and confused as he places the bag on the cutie map table and takes out a bowling ball made out of emerald that had the name “The Guild” engraved on it with golden letters. It shimmered and shined whenever any light hit it. “I got us all this cool custom bowling ball we can all use. I mean, it kind of shows that we’re going to be the best team there. No…” Spike stands tall and raises his fist along with Discord “IT TOTALLY SHOWS THAT WE’RE THE BEST TEAM EVER! ONE WHICH WILL CRUSH OUR FOES WITH OUR MIGHTY ABILITY TO ROLL A BALL!”
Discord looks over to Spike with a nod and a smirk “Nice way to word it, Garbunkle”
Spike takes a bow “Thank you, Captain Wuzz”
You just put your hoof to your face. “Ok you two, can we not act like nerds when we get there? Please? We’re gonna be in public.”
Spike calls for Discord to lower his head so he could whisper to him “What’s his problem?”
Discord whispers back “He still has a ‘splitting headache’ from our last session”
“Splitting...he-he-HAHAHAHAHA!” Spike loses it and falls over, pointing at Discord with joviality “I get it! Because he got an axe to his head!”
You narrow your eyes towards the both of them. “...That’s not funny, you know…”
Discord shrugs as he gives you a pat “Relax, Anon, it’s not like it killed you. We did agree to give your character a huge increase in defense for all cranial injuries. You’ll be fine! I mean, Conan will be fine.” Discord ends his words with a slight chortle
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up you two. It was just a bad roll, that’s all.” Goddammit, it was really humiliating though.
“Come on, Anon, relax! We’re only messing with you a little bit. You’re one of us, one of the guys!” Spike hops down from the table and walks over to you. He then gives you a thumbs up. “You’re the hero colt! And part of ‘The Guild’. We know it was a bad roll. Everypony gets one sometimes, and it’s pretty funny when it happens, right? Are you saying you wouldn’t laugh at Discord if he got a critical miss at something like, erm, knocking on a door?”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that a critical miss on knocking on a door shouldn’t result in something humiliating, at least when it comes to me.” Discord interjects
“Maybe, but what if it was a cursed door or something? It’d probably react by using it’s entire frame to knock you into a pulp. Like…” Spike smacks his fist into his palm multiple times “...Ironically being knocked on BY the door, that’d be pretty funny.”
Discord being physically smacked by a door? Heh, that made you smirk “Now that would be funny.”
Discord crosses his arms and looks away with a gruff snort “Well, I don’t think so.”
“C’mon, Dad. Don’t KNOCK IT until you try it! Eh? HAHAHA!” You break into laughter, sure it was a dumb pun, but it always was extra funny if it cheesed Discord off. Especially when Spike joined in on your mocking laughter.
“Ugh...Whatever. Don’t you have a princess to talk to about your invitation?” Discord says, unamused by the laughter going on around him.
“Huh?” Spike stops laughing when he realized what Discord meant. “You mean the invitation to Twilight’s Friendship School?” Spike looks to you with curiousness “You’re gonna go? That’s awesome!”
“Err...no” You shake your head “I’d rather not. I just want to let Twilight know that I’m declining her offer, that’s all. She’s here, right?”
Spike seemed kind of disappointed by your answer as he pointed towards the other wings of the castle “I mean, yeah, she’s prepping stuff up for when the school is built and ready for classes. But why aren’t you going, Anon? You’re from another dimension, right? This would be a great way for you to learn how ponies do friendship. And I’m talking all the ins and outs of it. I mean, look at me, I’ve learned all about living with ponies by learning from my pony friends here in Ponyville.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t learn that in a school, right?” You ask him.
“Well...no” Spike replies
“Exactly. I think I’ve learned enough through experience just like you have. And it’s not like friendship is a foreign thing to me. I think I’ll be fine” You tell him
“I guess… I mean, I thought it’d be pretty helpful for you. But I can’t force you to go either.” Spike states. But then he looks back towards the inner wings of the castle and then back at you with concern “But Twilight is probably gonna try to convince you, so just go easy on her, ok? I know you kind of got this chip on your shoulder with her, but she only wants to see you get better, you know?”
..Dammit, Spike. He was looking at you with pleading eyes to be as easy with Twilight as possible. This had to mean that Twilight was probably going to be really annoying when you tell her no. “Ok, ok...I’ll do my best, I promise”
“Thanks dude, we’ll wait for you here. Been meaning to go over a few of my ideas for the next campaign with your dad anyway”
“Ahh! I had been meaning to ask you about that.” Discord said as he sat down at Fluttershy’s chair, eager to hear what Spike had to say. “Do tell me everything.”
“Alright, so…” Was all you heard from Spike talking to Discord as you made your way to the main castle library where Twilight most likely was residing.
When you got there, you could in fact see Twilight looking over a bunch of scrolls as she sang silently to herself. She was obviously full of zeal when it came to this whole school business, it almost made you want to not talk to her at all. But you knew it was better to get this over with sooner rather than later.
“Hey, Twilight, you busy?” You ask as you enter the library.
“Huh? Hmm? Oh! Anon! Hello! Good morning!” Twilight says with happy cheer in her heart “Are you ready for that bowling game you’re going to have? I have to say, Spike has been pretty excited about it for quite some time. He felt pretty bad about not getting to bowl with you before, so seeing him so happy to bowl with ‘The Guild’ makes me happy too. Thank you for having the time for that, by the way, I know school and training with Rainbow Dash has left your schedule pretty tight. ”
“Oh...Yeah, um..You’re welcome.” Dammit Twilight, you didn’t have to act so thankful and happy go lucky. You now felt bad that you might be crushing her good mood. But…
No, you had to talk to her about this. If she was truly a princess and of regal status, then she should be able to fucking understand that you don’t want to go to her school. Besides, she and the other princesses already put you through enough shit, you didn’t need any more of it.
“Anon, are you alright?” Twilight looks to you with concern. She seemed antsy about the fact that you didn’t look as cheerful as she predicted.
“I’m fine, I just came up here to talk to you about your school.”
“OH!” Twilight got super excited now and jumped up, hovered, and floated over to you as she looked to you with a happy and near Pinkie-like grin. “That’s great! I didn’t expect you to personally accept, but I appreciate you coming to tell me all the same! I have to say, Anon. I’m already really excited to have everycreature learning everything they need to know about friendship. But to have you, somecreature from the outside world, learning our ways of friendship makes me fee-”
Ok, that’s enough. You put your hoof up at her to get her to stop right there. “Twilight, I’m actually declining your offer...and er…” What the fuck word was she using? “Everycreature?”
“Oh, it’s a very inclusive word for all the kinds of...Wait.” Twilight has a double take when she realizes what you said beforehand. “You don’t want to go? WHAT?! WHY?!”
Here we go…”Twilight, I appreciate the invitation. But I just don’t feel that your school isn't a good fit for me. I mean, what else do I have to learn about friendship anyway? I reformed Starlight, Trixie...sorta, and Tempest. And then there’s the fact I already have so many friends already, including a marefriend. I think I already mastered the magic of friendship.”
“Anon, while I do agree you have an amazing knack for friendship that many ponies don’t, there’s also a few faults you have that I think could use some improvement. The way you approached befriending Queen Chrysalis was-” And then you cut her off again.
Nope, she has no more right to fucking use that against you. “Twilight…” You look at her with a more serious stare as your voice hardens “Don’t you dare. I already admitted I got obsessive when it came to trying to reform her. But at the end of the day, I still managed to BEFRIEND her. I already learned through experience to be more careful, alright? So don’t do that to me.”
Twilight doesn’t reply for a moment as she ponders on what to say. She could see that you were still sensitive when it came to Chrysalis, and decided to try treading softer ground with you. “I understand. But I still think there’s still a few important things you can learn about friendship. I don’t mean to offend you, but you kind of still have a few ways to go to learn about harmony and love. You can sometimes be very mean, Anon. Mean in a way that only the most of the nastier dragons can be.”
“You mean with Stygian, don’t you?” You ask her
She nods “That, and a few other things. For Stygian...Anon, I understand that I was with Starswirl’s conclusion myself when it came to Stygian being the Pony of Shadows. But you were meaning to destroy him even after the truth of it was revealed, you nearly destroyed him. That’s not the pony way at all.”
You’ve had this conversation with her before. You had a good reason to continue your attempt to destroy Stygian. How could you be so sure that his begging and pleading after his shadow form was destroyed wasn’t just an act or a trick? “We’ve gone over this, I didn’t want to take any risks. You said Starswirl was the best of the best and never wrong, so how could you expect me to stand down?”
Twilight sighed, she knew she was partly to blame due to her fangasming when it came to Starswirl and the original six’s return. “I suppose I shouldn’t have. But he was begging for his life, Anon. We’re not like Sombra or the humans you have told me about from your old world. I don’t blame you for your actions, but I still think there are certain facets of your understanding of friendship that can be improved. You’re the hero colt, Anon. I just want you to have more compassion in the way you handle situations like this. Because it’s not just the way you tried to handle Stygian either. You can be mean to other ponies too. I’ve heard you put zippers on Snips’s and Snail’s mouths a few weeks ago, is that true?”
Ugh...So she knew about that, huh? “Yeah, I guess. They were getting uppity again. They thought since I was getting some training from an element that they deserve training from me. They wanted to battle my ‘Bowser’ form for Celestia’s sake! If they couldn’t handle zippers on their mouths then that’s on them, I’ve told them before to stop with the hero worship.”
“I know Snips and Snails can be a little overbearing sometimes, but that’s no excuse to use that kind of magic on them, especially when it lasted until midnight. Their mothers came to me scared out of their wits, Anon. And the way they panicked when I couldn’t undo your spell? Well... Nopony deserves that. Do you understand?” Twilight looks at you with a near mother like expression of sterness.
Nope, you weren’t having none of this shit. “Twilight, look. You are one of the few who even know my true age. Maybe this body has regressed me some, but I still know that when somepony tells you enough and you don’t listen, then consequences will happen. It’s not like I hurt them or anything either, it was simply a punishment. As I said, I have a handle on friendship, just not in the way a pony would handle things. Besides, why do you need a friendship school anyway? You, of all ponies, should realize friendship is an experience, and not something you can learn in a classroom.”
“I beg to differ on that one, Anon. My school isn’t just about learning friendship. It’s to bring unity to everycreature across the world. And more than that, it’s to give those who have felt shunned and alone a place to feel accepted,validated, and have the ability to forge friendships they never thought they’d be able to have. Everycreature deserves to learn, experience, and spread friendship to everycreature else. My school will make sure nocreature feels left out, no matter what.” Twilight explains.
Wut? “Uhm, ok, that’s all well and good. But friendship isn’t that difficult. Again, given how you used to be, and don’t ask how I know, I got a feeling the school might be a little too much.”
“No worries, I won’t question how you knew how I used to be. But do you remember how Starlight used to be? Tempest? Trixie? Your father? And since I know you know, Moondancer? I mean, I’ll even mention Princess Luna.”
What was she getting at? “Yeah, what about them? I reformed like half the ponies on that list myself.”
Twilight nodded “Right. But you also know about the Cutie Map and how it specifically designates one or two or even all of us to fix a specific friendship problem. And then there’s the fact that there could be many others who have felt hurt and abandoned like those I’ve mentioned. You, Anon, know for a fact that someponies just don’t take things too well and are willing to destroy the world just to get even with it. You can’t be there for all of them, just like I can’t be. But with my school, I can bring them all together and bring harmony to all. That’s my goal, that’s what I want. I know you’re smart, so if you think I’m wrong, I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.”
Uhh…
Hmm…
Shit, you hadn’t thought of that. Equestria did seemed filled with this kind of shit. Twilight, in that regard, was mostly right. You couldn’t reform everyone nor could you be in everyplace at once. And given how Starlight had become evil over just one friend abandoning her...Ugh, fine. “No, I have nothing. I guess that's pretty solid when you put it that way."
Twilight nodded in triumph, and gave you a warm smile “I’m glad you understand.”
You did, but still… “I do, but I still don’t want to go. I guess I can cool my jets a little, but I still think it’s pointless for me to go. So let’s just let bygones be bygones, alright? I respect your school if you respect my decision not to go, alright? Please? I really don’t want to keep this up, I have a bowling game to get to.”
Twilight sighed, she really wanted you to go, but she knew that she really couldn’t force you either. She nods “Alright, that sounds very fair to me. Thank you for understanding, Anon.”
“Yeah, yeah… I guess. Whatever, good luck with the school, ok? And don’t push me, please? I appreciate our friendship, but my life is my life, and I have a good handle on it these days.”
Twilight nods again “I understand, and thank you. Good luck with your bowling game, alright?”
You nod, and calm yourself a bit now that this was over “Thanks, well, seeya Twilight.”
And with that, you made your way back to the cutie map room. Dammit, she had to mention Chrysalis. Whatever, it’s fine, it’s the past. It was time to bowl, time to win, and time to show off your new found skills.
As you made your way back to the Cutie Map room, you couldn’t help but feel a little bad over the conversation you had with Twilight. But this was due to the fact that your friendship with her always gets jumbled up with her princess duty bullshit. Sometimes you wish you were brought in before she got the wings, then you wouldn’t have to deal with any kind of official bullshit when it came to her.
When you met with Discord and Spike once again, Spike couldn’t help but ask the obvious question. “So, uhhh, how’d it go?”
“It went fine, no problems here. So, we all ready?” You ask
Both Discord and Spike were more than ready to go at this point. But Spike still had some reservations on what went on with your and Twilight. “So, like, nothing bad happened? At all?”
You take a long breath, and nod to him once more “nothing happened, Spike. This isn’t like before, Me and Twilight have a better understanding of each other...Mostly. Trust me, if something bad happened, she’d probably be lecturing me right now.”
“Yeah, that makes sense actually. Twilight does tend to do that sometimes when she thinks something went really wrong. Ok then! Let’s get going!” Spike says, his fear of Twilight or you being in a sour mood leaving him with the certainty of nothing going wrong.
The three of you make your trek towards the bowling alley. Discord suddenly becomes curious however, and asks Spike a question. “So, who are we decimating? It can’t be the princesses since Twilight is staying at the castle doing...boring things. And yet I know there has to be a team of four to match our own.” Discord pondered even deeper “Who do we know that could form an even team of four?”
Spike shrugs “Well, I’d tell you if I knew, but Big Mac did all the prep work.”
“He didn’t tell you who we’d be bowling against?” You ask Spike, that seemed a little weird.
“Nope. Big Mac works a lot, remember? It probably slipped his mind or something.” Spike shrugged again, then looked ahead with confidence “It’s not like it matters, right? Whoever we got is gonna get their butt kicked anyway.”
“While I admit that not being able to use my magic does make things a tad more difficult for me, I still must agree.” Discord puts on some sunglasses and holds up a squirtgun as he speaks in a Schwarzenegger voice. “We’re going to terminate them, aughhrhhgree” God, he even did the laugh.
“I’m with you two, I mean, I’ve been training a WHOLE lot. My skills without the horn are as good as any wonderbolt, if my trainer is anything to go by. I gotta hand it to Rainbow Dash, she’s actually pretty good at being an instructor. But that’s probably because Mr.Rich had a hand in paying for some of the gear I got to use. I’m actually excited to see who we’re gonna beat.” You had nothing to worry about. Hell, Big Mac was a fucking farmhorse, so his coordination was going to be second to none. There was no way you all could lose.
“It’s all set then. Heh, now I feel bad for whoever even thought they could tangle with us. I just wanted to win, not embarrass them… Oh well.” Spike shrugged.
Oh yeah, this was gonna be fucking easy.
You all then reach the bowling alley. As it turns out, Big Mac had already paid for the lane you’ll all be using. You were all told to go to lane ten.
And holy shit, when you all got there, you swear you had to be dreaming right now. Because Big Mac was waiting for you all…..With the fucking CMC. And while the others seemed confused as to where the other team was, you could tell by the CMC’s brick red bowling shirts that they WERE the other fucking team. Holy fuck, really? That’s like pigs to the fucking slaughter.
“Heya, Big Mac” Spike is the first to greet Big Mac “Heya, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo.”
The CMC greet Spike with a friendly smile, then you, and even Discord. Of course they would, he was your dad after all. It’d be rude not to greet him in front of you.
“Heya fellas, paid for the lane, we’re just waiting for one more pony and we’ll be ready to play.” Big Mac says as he takes a seat and waits.
But Spike gets confused and looks around “One more Pony? You mean for us? So it’s five versus five or something? Where’s the other team?”
Discord looks at Big Mac with some discontent “Excuse me, Big Mac, But we didn’t agree to a fifth member. There’s nopony else cool enough to hang with the likes of us. And Spike’s right.” Discord takes a look around “Where is the other team?”
“Guys…” You point over to the CMC “THEY ARE the other team. And their the ones waiting on their fourth pony. Holy geez, Big Mac, really? Seriously? I’m all for a slaughter, but you couldn’t have at least gotten us a team that was a little more challenging? We’re going to beat them so bad that their cutie marks are gonna fall off.” You weren't even laughing, you were serious, you didn’t want to make this TOO easy.
“Hey! That ain’t very nice” Applebloom says with a frown
“Wow, Anon, really?” Sweetie Belle looks at you with a mean look “Just because we’re girls doesn’t mean we’re gonna be easy.”
But Scootaloo doesn’t seem to take offense to your words at all. Instead, she steps up to you and gives you a confident look “I hope you can back up your words, Anon. Because I’ve been training a lot harder too! Ever since Rainbow Dash started training you, I’ve been copying your training regimine to make myself even better than I am now. Also, we got a secret weapon, so don’t think you’ve won just yet.”
You return Scootaloo’s confidence with a rather smug grin “Scoots, I never had a doubt in my mind that you’d actually be a challenge. And ok, I guess Applebloom is good too since she’s a farm pony and all. But Sweetie Belle, really? She can’t bowl for beans. Your scores won’t stack up to ours.”
“What?!” Sweetie Belle is taken aback by your words “You think I’m gonna bring my team down?! High and mighty as always, huh?! Well let me tell you that I think I’m a pretty good bowler! And besides, our fourth teammate is REALLY gonna steamroll your whole team! You’ll see!”
“Erm, can we all simmer down? Anon, why do ya gotta be all mean like that anyway?” Applebloom didn’t like your cocky attitude, but she didn’t want any sort of fight to break out either. “Ain’t this supposed to be a friendly competition?”
“C’mon Applebloom, I don’t think I’m being mean. Scoots took my banter just fine. There is nothing wrong with a little pregame bants. Am I right fellas?” You look around to your teammates for support.
“I mean, sorta? But these are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Anon. I don’t think we should be mean to a bunch of foals.” Spike says. Although he internally felt it’d be an easy win, he felt a little guilty having to crush the CMC like that.
“A BUNCH OF FOALS?!” Steam nearly blasts from Sweetie Belle’s nostrils as she stomps up to Spike so forcibly that he falls on his back “WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! YOU’RE A BABY, FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE! SO DON’T GO THINKING THAT JUST BECAUSE WE’RE FOALS MEAN WE CAN’T BEAT YOU!”
“W-w-whatever y-y-ou s-say! J-just don’t h-h-urt me!” Spike had to cover himself with his arms in fear of being stomped on by Sweetie Belle.
“That’s what I thought!” Sweetie Belle said with a nod as she stepped back to her team with a near militaristic march and stance.
Big Mac just frowned at everyone and raised his hooves and lowered them in a motion to tell everyone to calm down “Now no one get ornery now. We’re all here for a friendly game and that's how it’s all going to play out. So no pregame or post game bants or nothing, got it?”
“Oh, no worries big brother” Applebloom looks to Big Mac with a sweeter innocence, she was probably the only one here out of the CMC who seemed to have just come for a friendly game “I won’t start no trouble”
Discord, who had said nothing at this point, finally chimes in. He sounded and looked bored out of his skull. “And while that’s all very nice, we still have yet to see this fourth team member or even start the game. I thought this was going to be quick. And yet it’s taking longer than starting up a game of O&O. I just want to start, win, groove on the dance floor due to our win, and leave. And I’d like to do that as soon as possible.”
“Discord, ah said no pregame banter, this is a friendly game.” Big Mac reminds him.
Discord shrugs “That wasn’t banter…” Discord then suddenly zaps Applebloom with a bolt of magic.
“GYAAAH!” Applebloom yells, and looks around frantically as if something changed about her “What did he do to me?! What happened?!”
“Discord! What are ya doin?! What did you do that for?!” Big Mac suddenly got up, looking like he wanted to slug Discord for attacking his sister like that.
But Discord just holds a talon up to Big Mac to stop him, looks at him stoically, and says “Hold on, wait a moment, it’s coming”
“EWWWW!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle cry out as they move away from Applebloom.
“Wha?! What’s wrong?! Why are you girls saying that?” Applebloom starts tapping at her face “I’m not meltin’, am I?!”
“No” Scootaloo puts her hooves over her nose.
“You just really stink!” Sweetie Belle, as well, puts her hooves over her nose.
Discord then points over to the CMC with a bored expression “That’s banter...So, can we start now?”
Big Mac was already getting frustrated as he put his hoof over his forehead and sighed, then pointed over to Applebloom “You mind fixin’ mah sister?”
“Very well…” Discord simply snaps his talons, causing Applebloom’s smell to return to normal.
“Do I smell ok now, girls?” Applebloom asked as she started sniffing herself, it was actually kind of amusing to see herself smell at herself like a dog, but you couldn’t really laugh due to everyone suddenly being so hostile. Why? It really was just simple banter.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nod, But Scootaloo looked rather concerned, and like Applebloom, just wanted everyone to get along “Ok, so can we all calm down now, please? This all got all out of hoof pretty badly and everypony is kind of looking at us weird.”
Wut?
You all look around to see nearly the entire bowling alley looking at you with either disgusted, weirded out, or even a few frightened faces. It causes all of you, even Discord, to cough and take your seats without nary another word due to embarrassment.
But then, that still left the fourth member on the CMC’s team. “So...erm..yeah. Where is your fourth member anyway? It’s not Scrappy, is it? I didn’t know he could bowl.”
“He can’t, or maybe he can, ah dunno. But it ain’t him, he’s at home learnin’ everything he needs to know about zap apple jam” Applebloom informs you.
Huh… “I thought he just wanted to be the family dog”
Applebloom nods “He does, but he’s also our friend and a bonafide Apple, that means learnin’ all the ins and outs of our family and our traditions. He takes it all very seriously and doesn’t want to miss out on nothin, he’s even been learnin’ a lot of things from Big Mac too, right big brother?” Applebloom looks to Big Mac for confirmation.
“Eyyup” Big Mac says with a nod.
“Then who is it then?” Spike asks
“Who is it? It’s a Cutie Mark Crusader based team. That means it’s got the best bowler around, that bowler being me.” Said a mysterious voice with a heavy bronx accent.
Who in the…
You all turn to the side to see the pink maned, green eyed, brown coated filly only known as Babs Seed, donned in the same red bowling shirt as the CMC, step to the comfy team sofa they were sitting on.
“BABS! YOU MADE IT!” The CMC cried out in cheer and went to hug their teammate.
Woah, it’s Babs Seed, even you didn’t see that coming.
“‘Course I did, just got a little hung up by your dog...friend...bug? I dunno, but he seemed really happy to have me as a friend and he kinda wanted this really long hug. So yeah, it took me a bit. But hey, I’m ready to wipe the floor with the mooks who want to challenge us.” Babs Seed said with pride and arrogance.
Of course, this just causes Big Mac to once again do a face hoof as he has to tell his cousin to calm down. “Babs, none of that banter stuff, alright? Just had a problem with it before and I’d like this to be a friendly game before I have to get goin’ out of town.”
“Relax, nopony ever got hurt from a little teasing and…” That’s when she eyes you. She looks at you, then chuckles and points “Is that the Anon guy you told me about, Applebloom? He looks pretty scrawny to me, and he doesn’t even look like he has any game! What’s up with that? It looks like if he threw a ball, his leg would go along with it! SNAP! Come clean off”
“Oooooh! I think I just heard my old train fire reignite” Discord said with a smirkish cringe.
Mnnnnnghhh... You look back at Discord, annoyed with his reaction. “Excuse me? Are you implying that was a burn? You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am!...It’s just that was a pretty good one.” Discord said with another happy and mocking chuckle.
You look to Babs with an annoyed expression, how could she say that to you when her fucking cutie mark was about fucking hair! “And what do you know about that anyway? Aren’t you a hairdresser or something?”
“The youngest and the best there is down where I’m from. Which is the city, if you didn’t know. And to survive in the city, you gotta be good at everything. And let me tell you, bowling is like THE sport for any city ever. If you can’t bowl then you ain't got no place to stand, not even at your own talent. Yup, you’re not going to win, so don’t even try.” Babs tells you, god...she was so fucking smug, you couldn’t wait to crush her. “Besides, I did hear some of the stuff you were saying, and I don’t appreciate it”
“YEAH! YOU GO BABS! YOU TELL HIM!” Sweetie Belle cheers, which only serves to fuel your annoyance and Bab’s arrogance.
“Woah, woah! Hold on.” Spike jumps up off his seat to face off against Bab’s banter. “You can’t just say you’re going to win. Do you even know who we are? That’s Discord, the Spirit of Chaos. Anon’s the Hero Colt and his adopted son! And Big Mac...err” Spike looks at Big Mac, who only seemed to want this to be over so they could play the fucking game, and didn’t seem too pleased that this was going on at all “Look, point is, don’t count us out. We’re ‘The Guild’! And we always complete our quests, no matter what!”
“Ugh, nerd speak.” Babs said with an eye roll as she goes over to the scorecards and looks at the turn order “Look, you want to back up what you’re saying? Then let’s just play the game and see who comes out on top. And it looks like you’re first, Spike. So just show us what you got already.”
And through Babs leading on, the game finally begun. Well, that was a little less friendly than it could have been. Was it your fault? Nah, Scoots took it pretty well, and everyone else should have too. And that Babs, she really thought she could crush you and your team? Fuck it, if she wanted a challenge, then she was going to see what ‘The Guild’ was made of.
Spike pulls out the custom ball from his bag and holds it up “Alright guys, here it is, the weapon we’ll use to fell these foul beasts.”
Big Mac just looks at Spike silently, with judging eyes.
Spike, realizing he still is kind of railing against his sister and her group, eases off for a moment. But this was only a moment until he realized that they were still a team and this was still a competition. “C’mon, Big Mac, you can’t be hard on us just because your sister is on the other team. Besides, you’re the one who even set this all up. How are we supposed to do our best if you’re just gonna complain at us for even saying anything?”
Applebloom hops down from her seat and pats her brother’s side to get his attention “He’s kind of right, Big Mac. It’s us versus you, remember? You can be a little extra competitive if ya want, just don’t be all mean about it, ok?”
Big Mac looks down at Applebloom, who reassures him again that it’s alright, as does the rest of the CMC. He really didn’t want to be super competitive against his kin, but he did start to realize that this was all his doing in the first place. “Ok…” He then looks to Spike with a nod “Alright Spike, Let’s get to fellin’ those beasts then. You don’t mind us callin’ you that, right Applebloom?”
Applebloom shrugs “Ah don’t mind as long as you don’t really mean it”
Babs then jumps from her seat as she gives Big Mac a reassuring nod and a cocky smirk “Don’t sweat it anyway, don’t you all know that being called a beast means you turn all the guys against you into mush? It ain’t no big, because we are gonna beast these guys into paste” She then reassured her team.
And that’s when you notice it. A competitive spark hit Big Mac that, while subtle to everyone else, it was something you could spot due to him giving Babs a quick narrow eyed glance. Finally, there was going to be a game, and no one was going to hold back.
So Spike once again holds up the ball and calls for the three of you “Alright guys, place your hooves and paws...or whatever... onto the ball and let us summon forth the power of the bowling gods to aid us on our journey!”
Big Mac just lets out a “Eeyup” as he places his hoof on the ball.
“Oh, I’m very into this right now. FOR GLORY! FOR ALL THE PATRONS OF THIS FAIR BOWLING ALLEY WILL KNOW OF OUR MIGHT!” Discord completely gets into it, and places his paw on the ball. He was ready to win, at seemingly any cost.
As for you, you were now more focused on Babs then you were Sweetie Belle. She had a lot of sass, but she obviously didn’t realize what she was dealing with. Even if she was good, half her team was donkey dick at this game. This was in the bag for sure. So you place your hoof on the ball, and let out a warcry “FOR ‘THE GUILD’! YEEEAAHH!”
After everyone broke off, Spike stepped up to the lane to throw the first ball. You all cheered him on as he carefully eyed his target and prepared to throw. He stood there for a few moments, nodded, and finally threw. His technique wasn’t bad either, as he ended up knocking down every pin but the 7th and 10th, an easy spare for sure.
“C’mon Spike! You can do it!” You cheer.
He was confident, he raised his hand to signal for silence as he concentrated once more. And again, he shows his skill as he expertly gets the spare. Not bad for a start.
Spike stepped back to the team sofa with a satisfied smile on his face. He sat down, and wrote the spare on the team scorecard. “There we go, not bad if I do say so myself.”
“Indeed, all we need to do is roll at the pace of spares and strikes and we’ll have this game in the bag.” Discord says as he leans back and relaxes, feeling sure that his group can win the game.
“Applebloom, you’re up” Scootaloo says as she stares at her team’s scorecard, ready to write down whatever score Applebloom gets while wishing for a strike.
“You can do it, Applebloom! Get that strike!” Sweetie Belle cheers.
Applebloom nods to her group and takes her generic black ball to the lane. She places it down and tries to figure out how to roll the ball to the lane. When she thinks she’s got it, she goes to put the ball in her mouth and throw. But Babs, upon seeing such a technique, jumps from her seat to give her cousin a few pointers “Woah! Woah! Applebloom, what are ya doing? That’s all wrong!”
Applebloom puts the ball down and looks to Babs with confusion “It is? But uh, how else am I supposed to get it down the lane?”
“Oh geez” Babs puts her hoof to her face and shakes it slowly, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “C’mon, how are you supposed to aim at anything with your mouth? Look, you want to win? Then listen to your cousin.”
“Erm, ok, but what am I supposed to do then?” Applebloom asked, curious as to what Babs had in mind.
“Well, it’s simple really.” Babs holds the flat of her right hoof straight up “You balance the ball on the frog of your hoof like this, use your eyes to mark your target, then with a downward like curve, you roll that ball right to the darn target! Got it? It’s easy, Applebloom. So get that strike already!”
Applebloom nods with determination “Thanks Babs! You can count on me!”
With that, Applebloom carefully lowers herself to get the ball on the frog of her hoof. Holy shit, what a shitshow, she was wobbling and shaking in an attempt to even balance the damn thing. You look over to the other CMC, even they were fucking sweating it now. You started to feel a little bad now, their poor little hearts were going to be crushed if this was a blowout game.
After a few more moments, Applebloom finally balanced the ball on her hoof, eyed the center pin, and with a swift movement, she managed to throw the ball accurately enough to….GET A STRIKE?!
OH FUCKING WHAT?! You could only sit there with your mouth hung open as Applebloom did a little dance in triumph. After she calmed down, she went to sit on her seat with a cute and satisfied little smile.
“Woah, how did you manage to do that, Applebloom?” Scootaloo asked, amazed at Applebloom’s sudden skill.
“Ah just did what mah cousin Babs told me. I could feel it, the balance of the ball on my hoof. All ah had to do was throw it after that. It’s just like doing farmwork back home, ya just got to handle the ball like a farm tool and you’re good to go.” Applebloom replies.
Big Mac was up next. Ok, it’s fine, Applebloom is a farmhorse after all, and that technique Babs taught her can’t apply to someone like Sweetie Belle. Just relax, Anon, it’s still the beginning.
“Interesting…” You hear Discord say
“Hm? What’s interesting?” You ask him, wondering what he meant.
“We could, in fact, have a close game going on here. “ Discord replies, then eyes Big Mac as he misses a few of the pins “Or we could even end up losing.” Discord summons up a drink, and takes a sip while still remaining rather calm despite a guy like him not usually taking well to coming even close to losing.
“I mean, all we have to do is step up our game a little.” You then notice that Big Mac thankfully picks up the spare “What, are you scared we might lose or something? Relax, they may have a strike, but that’s probably one of the few their going to get. Besides...erm.” You start to realize that maybe you were being too much of a dick, it was just a friendly game after all, there was no reason to shake your friendship with the CMC due to it. This was especially true for Scootaloo, who you were closest to out of the three. “It doesn’t matter who wins, just as long as we all had fun”
“Already bowing out of the challenge then, are we? Anon, you may not realize what I’m doing, but I am reconstructing my entire being to make sure that I bowl the perfect game.” Discord says. Despite him saying that, he didn’t really seem to be changing at all. Even then, that didn’t sound right to you.
“I’m not bowing out of the game, Discord, I just think that maybe I came on a little too strong. Also, isn’t that cheating? C’mon, if you want to win, then do it without cheating. Trust me, cheating to win just to win just feels all kinds of empty.” You explain to him. Cheating, really? Even you wouldn’t stoop that low. It’s like hacking in a game. Unless you’re doing it to troll, then it isn’t any fun. And the CMC were not the three you wanted to troll, even if Sweetie herself was kind of a dick.
“It’s not cheating.” Discord says as he eyes Sweetie Belle. He watches her try to make the same attempt Applebloom did, but it ends with only two pins being knocked down. “I will still have to use my own skill to actually throw the ball, but my body will be the equivalent of the best bowler in Equestria. The spin, the power, the technique, all will be available to me when I...AHA! There we go!” Discord raises his talons, only for them not to be talons anymore. No, now it had become a fucking human arm and hand.
“HOLY CELESTIA! WHAT IS THAT FREAKY THING?!” Spike notices Discord’s arm, and freaks out at, what he feels, is bizarre and grotesque.
In fact, many of the others around the bowling alley take notice due to Spike’s shriek and either freak out, nearly puke, or even faint.
Scootaloo however, actually finds it pretty cool and approaches Discord for a closer look. She seemed a little hesitant to ask Discord about it at first. But then she looks to you, she then figures it’d be ok since nothing bad should happen if she asks him, and if it did, that you’d stop it real quick. “So...er...Discord, what’s that? I know you do all kinds of chaos magic, but I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
A human arm? Seriously?! It had burly body hair and ugly crusty nails and everything. But still, it didn’t look that bad! What, does that mean that if you were human that all the ponies would run away from you like you were some kind of monster?! Goddamn it...You remembered your old human form. Come on, one of the ponies would think you’d be sexy, right?...Right?
Ugh, just seeing how the ponies reacted made you put your face on the table.
Discord stands up with a smile and gives Scootaloo a gentle pat with his paw as he grips his human hand a few times. “A bit of an evolution of sorts. A human hand, to be exact. I’m merely going to use it to help me grip the ball and throw it down the lane.”
“A human hand? You mean like that thing Anon...erm..” Scootaloo quieted down,Not everyone knew of your secret, and she didn’t want to be the one to spill the beans. “I mean, cool...but, wait…” She then realized something else, the same thing you thought of actually. “Isn’t that cheating?”
Discord chortles as he picks up the ball and prepares himself “Of course not! Haha! That’s such nonsense. As I said to Anon, it’s simply to help me grip this ball, not to make the perfect strike or anything. Why would I want to roll a perfect game anyway? I wouldn’t want to humiliate you, the fine patrons of this establishment, and everypony who’s ever bowled a perfect game for themselves for the VERY FIRST TIME THEY ACTUALLY PLAYED!” Discord practically screams out those last words. Cripes, he didn’t even care about beating the CMC in all actuality, he just wanted to crush the whole fucking bowling scene. It seemed he actually wanted the perfect fucking score.
“I mean, umm...erm…” Scootaloo just couldn’t hold it in “That still sounds like cheating to me”
“Yeah, something ain’t right around here…” Babs gets up to inspect Discord’s arm, blowing away some of her mane aside to get a better look “How do we really know you ain’t going to cheat? You do know nopony is allowed to use magic in a mixed game, right? If you cheat, then you’re outta here.”
“Aren’t you presumptuous.” Discord didn’t take too kindly to Bab’s words as he looked down at her with a stoic look and half slitted eyes “I’ll have you know that I represent the honorable team known as ‘The Guild’, and I’d never stoop to something as low as cheating. But you’ve seen my body, are you going to tell me that I’m equipped to play the game properly when I don’t even have a way to properly grip the ball?”
Babs just raises an eyebrow at Discord as she shows him the frog of her hoof “Hey genius, does it look like any of us ponies can grip the ball properly?”
Discord actually stopped right there, as if he was beaten in a battle of words. He stumbled a little on what to say next as small beads of sweat came off his head. Really? How could he not see this coming? Ah god, the one thing you didn’t want to happen was being fucking disqualified for something as stupid as this.
“Well...you see...Hmm..Ahh!” Discord finally comes up with a retort “Being a being of chaos, I happen to be right hoofed, but have two left limbs. So this new arm fixes that.”
“Ok...But.” Babs points to his human arm “That’s on your left too”
Discord coughs, and clears his throat as he quickly thinks of another lie “Erm..ahrm..hrm..Ahh, well, as I said, being of chaos. It would be rather chaotic for my right arm to be on my left side, right?”
“...I guess?” Babs replies. You couldn’t believe it, she was actually buying it.
“I mean, that kind of makes sense, in a non sensey kind of way.” Scootaloo adds
“Exactly, now will you two step aside? I’m trying to bowl here.” Discord brushes them both away as he goes back to prepping for his turn.
Christ, he had to make everything so damn difficult. Now he was going to cheat his way to a perfect fucking game. Now whatever glory there was to be had was thrown out the window. Though, that did make you wonder. Could you throw the perfect game? It would be cool to be the world record holder in Bowling. “Anon, the hero colt, rolled his perfect game on his very first try!” Yeah, that would be on your damned trophy. Ok then, that was definitely something to shoot for.
Discord finally rolls his first ball and….oh god, it was worse than a gutter ball. He fucking threw the damn thing over the foul line in a backwards roll, causing it to roll back to him once it had reached halfway across the lane.
Spike slaps his face with his clawed hand “Oh no…”
Big Mac nearly moans in anguish. It was surprising really, but his competitive spirit must have really taken a nosedive after that massive failure.
You? Oh god, considering he was your “Dad”, you felt utterly humiliated. “Good grief…”
Discord could hear the CMC giggling, he looks back at them, rather confused “What? What’s so funny?”
“HAHAHA! You didn’t even score! HEHEHE!” Sweetie Belle laughed, nearly falling off her seat.
“Wait. WAIT! THAT COUNTED?!” Discord looks back at Spike, who was putting a dash on the first frame “THAT ACTUALLY COUNTED?!” He was utterly blown away by the fact his shitty roll counted.
“Y-yeah...It does. What happened, Discord? You were messing around on purpose, right?” Spike had to ask him, he couldn’t believe that someone like Discord could foul something up that badly.
“U-uh…” Discord was stunned. He was frozen there for a moment as he held the ball and looked at it. He could see his failure all over his face through the reflection on the ball. He couldn’t allow this, sure he fucked up the strike, but he had to at least make it look like it was just to be courteous to the CMC “O-of course! I merely didn’t want to cause too much of an imbalance in the score. Now then, watch this! The perfect roll!”
Discord winds up this time, and gives it all he’s got.
And you just watch, your ears drooping when you see the kind of throw he made. “Oh no…”
Really, that was all you were able to say as the ball comes careening backwards towards the team couch and right into the center of your fucking face, knocking you backwards and behind the couch in a daze.
You could hear everyone gather around as stars danced about in front of you.
“Woah, that was one crazy throw” Scootaloo said in amazement.
“Yeah, erm, do you think everything will be ok?” Applebloom asked, she sounded very worried about the situation.
“I dunno, did you hear that noise? That was louder than brass hooves hitting a set of teeth.” Babs said, in as much amazement as Scootaloo sounded in.
“Does that count? It didn’t even go over the lane that time, I think I deserve another throw.” Really Discord? Holy fuck…
“Wait Discord, oh no... Is that?” Spike suddenly sounds super worried about...something.
“It’s a crack?! How can there be a crack?! I didn’t think anything could break through something like that” Sweetie Belle sounded astonished about something...wait, a crack?! Oh no…
“Eeyup, that’s a crack, but it shouldn’t...WHAT IN THE HAY?!” Even the usually calm Big Mac suddenly let out a horrified cry. Oh shit, were you dying?
“OH NO! IT CRACKED IN TWO! NOOOOOOO!” Spike suddenly screamed in hysterical like fear.
Suddenly, you started crying and moaning as you whined to yourself “T-this can’t be it...I still have too much to live for. I-I thought my head was invincible...Mngh..ngh. I didn’t even know it could...wait.” You slid your hooves along your face and realized you were fine.
You hopped up from the backside of the team couch to take a look at what the fuck they were talking about. All of them were gathered around the emerald bowling ball, which was now split in two from colliding with your face. Spike kneeled over it, crying his eyes out as he held up a few of it’s shards.
Are...you...fucking.. “WHAT?! THAT’S WHAT SPLIT IN TWO?! HOLY...GUYS! I THOUGHT I WAS DYING OVER HERE! AND YET YOU’RE ALL GETTING WORKED UP OVER A BALL!? HELLO! IT HIT ME IN THE FACE! WHAT ABOUT ME?! FORGET THAT STUPID BALL!”
Your words only seemed to make Spike cry more as he sobbed all over the broken halves of emerald.
“Anon, why do you need to be so insensitive? We all knew you were alright. But the ball? Look at it! It snapped in two! Poor Spike spent many a bit getting this ball and even more for the customization. I think that was his entire life savings, all spent for us.” Discord says as he looks at you with a snooty frown.
“I DID SPEND MY LIFE SAVINGS! ALL ONE HUNDRED BITS! GWAAAAAAAAH!” Spike fell over again, crying over the ball.
“Erm, Spike, um. It’ll be ok. We can still use one of the balls in the alley to continue the game. And besides, that ball was made of a mighty big gemstone, right? You could at least eat it, I bet it tastes really good.” Applebloom says while patting his back, doing her best to cheer him up.
“WAHH..wait.” Spike suddenly looks up and then at the cracked halves of the emerald ball. “That’s right, this was one of the biggest emeralds I’ve ever seen in my life. And I kinda secretly had been wanting to nibble it since I found it...erm, but is it really worth the hundred bits?....umm…” Spike hesitantly takes one of the halves of the ball and bites down on it. Suddenly he starts salivating and drooling as he mercilessly munches down on the emerald's half. “Ooo-oo-ohhh, yeah...I-It’s totally worth it.”
“Well, that solves that problem, but that’s still a big zero for ‘The Tavern’ or whatever you called yourselves. Which means it’s my turn…” Babs grabs her team ball, throws it like it’s nothing, and immediately hits the strike “And now it’s your turn, Anon.” She doesn’t even say it with arrogance, she simply goes back to her seat and waits patiently.
UGGGGGGGH! You couldn’t believe what just happened. You just find yourself slumping and sliding down back onto the couch with a miserable look on your face. You got outcared by a fucking ball, how does that even fucking happen?! Worst still, Discord’s big fucking zero meant your team was behind, big time.
So far, the game was a major disaster. Your team was now down by a large amount of points right from the get go from Discord’s turn. Goddammit, you should have known that he wouldn’t have been able to do this without ACTUAL use of his magic.
You grumble to yourself as you take a generic green ball from the nearby shelf and walk over to your lane. You had to start out strong, you had to make this throw. Come on! YOU CAN DO IT!
But before you can even prep throwing the ball, you hear Scootaloo call out your name. “Hey, Anon, wait!”
“What, guh?” You look back as you put the ball down. Was she calling for you? God, what could she want? Was she going to taunt you? Was she going to tell you that you have no hope? “What?” You say with some hostility in your voice.
“Woah, Anon...Hey, come on” Scootaloo hops off her seat and walks over to you with a frown, her ears folded. “I just wanted to ask you if you were ok. And, y’know, wish you luck.”
Wut? Now you were confused “You’re wishing me luck? I mean, I’m ok, I’ve taken worse. But why are you wishing me luck? We’re against each other right now.”
“I know, but I’m kind of excited to see how you’ll do now that you’ve been trained by Rainbow Dash. Plus, you’re my friend, why wouldn’t I wish you luck?” Scootaloo slowly begins to smile, hoping you weren’t still in a sour mood.
Wow, finally, a little respect. “Well, yeah...Thanks, Scoots, good luck to you too. And yeah, I’ve been meaning to try out these skills on something practical. I’m really hoping I can get a strike here.” Now you started to feel better, Scoots really knew how to better the situation.
“Thanks! I really can’t wait for tomorrow too! It’s gonna be you and me, racing to see who has improved the most” She then says…wait.
What the fuck did she mean by that? “Racing? You and me? What, during my final exam? Wh-when did that happen?”
“Oh, um, I asked Rainbow Dash if I could try out the exam too. She told me it was a little dangerous for a foal who hasn’t been doing the training. But I managed to convince her by showing her that I’ve been copying the whole training thing you’ve been doing, and that it’d be a great way to test how far you’ve really come. Heh, which I guess would mean how far I’ve come too. It’s gonna be awesome, Anon! I can’t wait to show Rainbow Dash what I’m made of! That’s why I say good luck to you again, for tomorrow this time! It’s gonna be really exciting!” Scootaloo was super excited for this, and there wasn’t even a hint of malcontent in her voice.
But, oh no. That was going to make tomorrow extra tough. What if you can’t beat her? What if she utterly thrashes you? Or hell, what if you crush her so badly that she loses hope in ever getting to fly? “Yeah….Scoots, erm. Are you sure you should race me tomorrow? I mean, what if something goes wrong?”
“What can go wrong? It doesn’t even really matter who wins, it’s more about beating that target time!” And then Scootaloo turns her head to the side to whisper “And maybe winning wouldn’t be so bad also…”
You don’t catch that last part, but you do hold in your sigh so you don’t seem rude. “Ok, erm. Then, uh, good luck tomorrow. Really, Scoots...” You give her a cheerful smile. If this was really going to happen, then you can only hope she at least crushes the target time...Because despite what guilt you may have, you didn’t plan on losing. “You’re gonna do great!”
Scoots gives you a short little hug and walks back to her seat feeling pride and confidence in her heart, something you may need now as you go back to concentrating on your throw. But how do you even throw the ball?
Well, maybe you can borrow a technique?
You try Bab’s technique. You hold the ball easily on the frog of your hoof and try to look at the pins like they were targets. Man, your focus really was better than before, but how about your skill? Only one way to find out! “HYAAAH!” You throw the ball along the ground the best you can, rolling it to the right with a leftward spin. While not as well executed as Bab’s throw, it did in fact get what you wanted as your ball spins just enough to hit the center pin and the third as well, causing enough of an effect to knock all the pins down in one roll. In other words... “YES! YEEEESSS! WOOOOOO!”
You jump back to look at your teammates, who were all applauding your masterful roll. Fuck yes! Even Discord was impressed?! Ohhhh baby! You take a bow before going back to your seat with satisfaction.
You looked over at the CMC, they seemed impressed, even Sweetie Belle. Yeah, life was good.
But then, Babs got out of her seat to say something to you. Was she going to be a dick? Was she going to get angry that you took her tech?
As it turned out, it was none of those things. “Good job, Anon, that was a pretty good throw. And I saw the way you spoke to Scootaloo over there, you don’t seem like that bad a guy, especially with the way my cousin Applebloom painted you as.”
Wut? “What do you mean the way Applebloom painted me as?” The fuck?!
“Y’know, when she had a crush on you and stuff. She sent me a few letters after you told her off that made you out to be this big jerk. She said she kind of exaggerated due to being all angry about it later on, but it didn’t seem like it to me when I first heard you talking when I got here. So hey, are we cool?” Babs holds out her hoof to you for a hoofbump.
You also couldn’t help but think that she also must have had a few whispers with Applebloom just then. The way Applebloom was silently looking at you, Babs may have asked her a few things about you when you were talking to Scootaloo. So that’s what it was, huh? Heh, man, that crush, it was so long ago. It was kind of funny how it still managed to sneak it’s way back in some way.
“Thanks, Babs. You’re not so bad yourself.” You reach over and give her a hoofbump “I’m gonna take a guess Sweetie Belle didn’t help your opinion of me either.”
“Yeah, she kind of said you were really ‘high and mighty’, that’s the words she used anyway. And I can kinda see it, but I’d have to hang out with you to really get a feel for you. Right now? We’re still facing off against each other, which means we’re still gonna bust your chops. So no hard feelings or nothing when you lose.” She then cocks a smirk at you. “So yeah, you’re going down.”
Oh really? You smirk back at her “Against my skill? We’ll see about that.”
A moment after saying that, Scootaloo manages to get a strike on her very first try. As Scootaloo goes to her seat hopping and excited, Babs smirk becomes a wry grin “Can’t win if your team score is lower than ours, Anon. Still…” Babs eases up, and takes a nod at your skill “You seem pretty good, if you can manage a perfect game, I might be willing to say you’re better than me.”
Really? Hmmm... “Funny you say that, this would be my first game of bowling, same as my Dad. So, if I do manage the perfect game, I’d say I’d be better than anypony ever.”
“Woah...huh, I’d actually like to see that. But now I know it ain’t happening. Nopony ever rolls the perfect game their first try. But…If you do somehow manage it, I’ll fix up your mane for free whenever you want, how does that sound?” Babs says as she eyes your mane.
You never really did anything with your mane. All you do is brush it back and it looks cute, especially cute for Diamond Tiara. So if it was cute, then you didn’t really require Bab’s services. Hell, what was wrong with your mane anyway? “Uhhh, what’s wrong with my mane? You don’t think it’s cute?”
“Anon, I’m gonna be real with you. Your mane? It looked like all you did was wipe it back some. Sure, that’s enough..for...I guess, things? Look, just…” Babs is actually trying to be courteous with this. “Handling manes is my talent, I even get paid for it when I go to my friend’s mom’s workplace to do a mane or two. You can say I got a knack for it. And I’m just saying that your mane can use a tune up. There’s...erm..’That’ style, and then there’s...some other styles that are pretty cool. Like, I’m not kidding, I can really get you looking smooth.”
Man, she really didn’t get it. You let out a chuckle as you decline her offer “Look, I’m like...super handsome, even my aunt tells me I am. I’m her little gentlecolt, you know?”
Babs suddenly looked at you oddly, like you said something weird. It was almost like she was trying to hold back a laugh “Gentlecolt...Right. W-well, I guess you don’t need my help then...erm, just gonna sit back down” The more she spoke, the more like she was going to bust a gut. She went back to her seat, shaking as if she was gonna explode.
Humph, she just didn't get it. If even Fluttershy could see your cuteness, then you didn't need any help.
While this was all going on, Big Mac’s turn had already passed as he came back to sit on the couch to tell Spike to mark down a nine. Spike was looking over the scorecard, specifically Discord’s score. “Discord, things aren’t looking good right now, we need you to pull off...like...a ton of strikes.”
“Relax, Spike. It was a practice turn, that’s all.” Discord says as he notices Sweetie Belle’s less than perfect set of rolls, she only gets five pins down this time. “This time, I’m sure to get a strike.”
“We’re gonna need all the strikes we can get, Discord. There’s only ten rounds here, and unless we all pull together, we won’t be able to win past the fifth frame.” Spike said as he tried guessing what the final scores could be just from everyone’s current showings.
Discord scoffs as he takes the ball and walks over to the lane. “Like I said, don’t worry. I’m sure to get it down the lane this time!” Discord says as he preps his throw “I may have lost the perfect score, but I’m not about to lose to a bunch of fillies.”
Discord throws the ball along the ground…and into the gutter.
“....ohhhnnn…” Spike looks on with utter astonishment at such a piss poor roll.
“What? I atleast got it down the lane this time! Again, a practice roll. Don’t worry, Spike, I can at least pick up the spare if I just fine tune my roll, like so...annnnnnnddddd! HA! I knew adding a little more power would get it down the middle…” Discord said as he threw the ball. And boy did he throw it, quite literally. The ball flew just above the middle pin and straight into the mouth of the lane...hitting nothing.
“We’re doomed…” Spike says, frozen from shock on how bad that was before slamming his face on the table.
“Eeyup…” Big Mac said, even he was stunned.
“Oh Discord…you really should have fucking practiced for real…” You say silently to yourself. Surprisingly, your team was pretty rock solid, even you were pulling your weight. But with Discord failing so miserably, it was clear that the win was an impossibility.
Discord sat down, with worry and shame on his face. It was finally starting to sink in that he was a detriment to the team. But rather than say anything, he just stays silent.
Babs does her turn, and pulls off a spare this time. Not bad.
Then it was your turn. You look to Discord, and try to give him some words of encouragement. “Dad, it’s alright. It’s just a game, ok? You’re just not that great at bowling, that’s all. You’re great at everything else though.”
Discord slumps onto the table “But I need to be good at everything.What’s the point of going on if I’m not good at every single thing in the world?”
“What? But Discord, that would mean you’d also want to be the best at being the Princess of Friendship. Y’know, you’d have to be like Twilight to be able to do that.” Spike tells him
“WHAT?! EWWWW!” Discord suddenly springs back up as he shivers and starts spitting out globs of food that looked like Twilight’s head. “Noo! No ! No! No! Noooooo! No! Be like Twilight?! I’d sooner give up my magic and whimsy before I’d even attempt to try something like that. You know what? You’re right, who needs to be good at this stupid game anyway? I’m Discord, the spirit of chaos! I only need to be good at games that actually matter, like O&O.”
Spike nods to Discord, then gives you the thumbs up. It seems he noticed what you were trying to do, and backed you up in cheering up Discord.
Spike was a pretty cool guy. When he was with you, he always tried to get your back, just like when that no good Good News came barging into the castle that one time. You just wish you were able to take his offer for bowling the first time, you didn’t feel that great having to see Discord get depressed.
Hell, the first time he offered, it was for a perfectly rolled game, which even if you didn't do, would have just been a friendly game of bowling anyway. But you gotta admit, you rolling a perfect game right now really would make up for all this losing. But what were the chances of that? Huh?
Well...maybe the chances were better than you thought. Because as you make the roll on the ball, you manage to get another strike.
No way…
When you look back, all eyes were on you, everyone on both teams silent. Not just because you made another strike, but because it was you, who has presumably never bowled before, making that strike.
No way...C-could you do it?
Maybe? No….you could!
Suddenly, this wasn’t a game about beating the other team. If you could manage the perfect game, then glory would be yours. Babs had already messed up, and you were on a roll.
Indeed, even after Scootaloo played her turn, she had only managed a spare this time, just like Babs.
And the game went on like this too. And while everyone was getting varying scores, with the exclusion of Discord, who was just now trying to make his misses look elegant just to save face, you...You...were doing it. With every turn, you were managing a strike. You couldn’t believe it, they couldn’t believe it, even the other bowlers, who were gathering around to see the game, couldn’t believe it.
Frame after frame, roll after roll, you were making consecutive strikes! You were close to the perfect 300 for your very first time playing bowling...In Equestria...BUT STILL! HOLY SHIT! Everyone was excited whenever your turn came up. The CMC, the bowlers, Spike, Big Mac. Hell, Discord was now running around the bowling alley exclaiming that it was his son, the hero colt, that was going to be making this record breaking event happen right now, right here, in this spot.
It was the 10th frame, the bonus roll, you only needed one more strike. Suddenly, the competition didn’t exist as now everyone on both sides just wanted you to pull this off. Even Sweetie Belle was excited and wanting to see you make history here in Ponyville. You were truly a hero… Holy crap! THIS WAS IT! TRUE GLORY!
You must never audibly thank Rainbow Dash for this…
She must never know her training let you pull this off…
“Anon, you almost have this. But don’t be a putz and choke, alright? I ain’t never seen nothing like this before, and I want to see you pull this off. Remember, the only thing that exists is you and them pins, got it? I was serious too, even if you don’t want it, I’ll fix up your mane for free whenever you do decide to let me. I know you can do it! Show them pins what you're made of!” Babs was giving you words of advice, she wanted to see this happen as badly as everyone else.
“Yeah…” You say as you started to sweat profusely. You were telling yourself not to choke, not to let the ball slip, to not let your sweaty hooves to cause you to fumble. You stood there, focusing the best you could as the bowling alley started at dead silence, with the quiet chanting of your name building with each passing second.
It was like time stood still…
It was like your entire life rode on this single moment…
This was it…
You could feel your excitement quaking beneath your hooves…
...Wait…
“What’s that noise?” one of the bowlers in the audience state when the sudden sounds of stomping began to pervade the room.
“It’s getting louder!” Another bowler said as she started to look around frantically.
And then there was a deafening roar, causing everyone to duck down and hide for cover.
No! NO! WHATEVER THAT WAS, IT WILL NOT TAKE THIS WIN FROM YOU!
As if nothing else exists,you throw the ball for that final strike, that perfect game.
The ball was halfway there...THIS WAS IT!
And then suddenly, a ferocious dragon, large and yellow in color, with a hooked mouth and red frills, stomped through the roof of the bowling alley and started to tear everything apart as it sniffed for something.
“A DRAGON! EVERYPONY RUN!” Someone says as everyone starts to run away in a panic.
Indeed, Big Mac himself takes the responsible roll of brother and starts to get the CMC and other scared foals out of the alley. Spike is trying to pull you away as you stare at your ball… The ball had been stopped into a spin by the Dragon’s entrance...but it was still slowly making its way to the pins due to the spin itself. “Anon! It’s a forest dragon! I think it’s sniffed the ball when it cracked open! I think that’s what it’s after! We gotta go! Your Dad can handle this!”
But you were so...NO!
And just like that, the Dragon’s foot comes down on the ball, crushing it into rubble as it lowers its head and starts to sniff around.
Spike is frozen in fear now as the large dragon sniffs near his mouth, picking up on the scent of gems, and then notices one of the halves of the ball on the table. It then stands straight up, and roars at the both of you as it starts to build up it’s flames.
“A-Anon…” Spike gulped “I’m scared…” Indeed, it was too late to run now. And when Spike did look back to see where Discord was, it seemed he left with the crowd. Not because he was scared, but because he was trying to convince them to come back to see your perfect game.
The dragon was taking its sweet time revving up those flames, no doubt Twilight would be here soon to deal with the problem herself. Both these points meant nothing to you however. This hulking beast ruined your shot at perfection, and you will not let that stand.
Spike was scared shitless. He didn’t expect this to happen. He could only guess that the ball breaking in half is what caused this. The emerald ball was of a special kind of gemstone with a great taste and alluring aroma, it was the reason he bought it in the first place. The ball splitting in half must have released a greater scent that was sniffed out by this dragon. “A-Anon! W-W-We gotta go! I-I don’t think he knows about dragons being good with ponies n-now.” Spike gulped
“Spike...just go” You put on your horn as the dragon prepared to annihilate the entire place
“Anon, what are you d-doing? ANON! You can’t fight this guy!” Spike suddenly snaps back to reality when he realises what you were going to do “Even with your horn, you won’t do much to this guy! It’s a gold scaled Diamondtooth! Magic barely does anything to it, and it spits balls of fire that explodes! Even Twilight is gonna have trouble with this gu-” But before Spike could finish, you give him a death glare, a stare to rival even Fluttershy’s. “O-ok then...mnngh..” Spike slowly steps away and runs towards the door, but he stops when he reaches it and looks back at you “...I gotta get Twilight, and quick!”
Now it was just you and the dragon. “HEY YOU! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID, RIGHT?!”
But the dragon just prepares it’s flames even further, the light in it’s mouth becoming intense as large flames start to poke out from it. It wouldn’t be long now.
“HEY! SHIT FOR BRAINS! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME! YOU JUST RUINED ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY PONY LIFE, YOU FUCKBAG! I WAS GOING TO BE THE COLT...YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT, AND FUCK YOU! BRING IT ON! DO IT! I’M RIGHT HERE! BURN ME TO A DAMN CRISP!” That’s it, you wanted that stupid fucker to open that big fucking mouth of his. Resistant to magic, was he?
The dragon finally preps it’s explosive fireball, and pelts it directly towards you.
“NOT TODAY! YOU STUPID FUCK! SWING BATTA, SWING!” A gigantic metal bat suddenly floats ahead of you and swings at the ball. The dragon may have been resistant to magic, but the fireball was not. It bounces back from your swing and smashes right back into the dragon’s face, sending the goliath of a beast into the air, with enough velocity to send him a few feet away from town.
Oh, but you weren’t done yet, that fucker was going to pay for fucking up your game. You grab onto the metal bat and launch off into the air. When you spot the dragon slowly recovering from his fall, you spin, grab the bat, and start meteor dropping towards his face “YOU STUPID FUCK! I’M GOING TO KNOCK YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN!”
The dragon puts its hand over it’s eyes to block the sun as it looks up into the sky. When it finally spots you, it was too late to dodge. You use all your power, both physical and magical, to slam the bat at the side of the dragon’s face. The force of the swing was so powerful, that even the magical metal bat snapped in two as the dragon went into a spin and flew off into the horizon. You had put so much magical power into that final swing that you’d be surprised if the dragon didn’t have an aneurysm after that.
With the metal bat broken, it disappears into the ether as your horn returns to normal. “AND IF YOU FUCKING DARE COME BACK! I’LL RAM AN EVEN BIGGER BAT UP YOUR ASSHOLE...Cloaca...Cloica? Cicola? I dunno….Ugh…” You lay down onto the grass, feeling defeated despite beating the dragon. “I was so close to achieving something without magic…and then that happened! THAT HAPPENED! GRAWGR!”
“Anon, are you ok?!” You hear a voice coming in from a distance.
“NO, I AM NOT OK!” You yell out, your rage returning to you upon quick remembrance of your ruined game.
“Rainbow Dash! Check him for any injuries, I’m going to fly up and make sure that dragon isn’t coming back. Oygh, I’m gonna have to send a letter to Princess Ember about this.” Said the voice, it was obvious it was Twilight, but you were too pissed to care.
“Alright, Rockhead, I’m taking you to the hospital after this, so just show me where that guy got you so I know what to tell the doc” Rainbow Dash says as she approaches you “A dragon, sheesh! Should have known a few of them were still jerks.”
When she does approach you, you suddenly grab hold of her face and shake it in rage “I’M NOT HURT! I’M PISSED! THAT DRAGON RUINED MY PERFECT GAME! I WANT HIM BACK HERE SO I CAN MAKE A BOWLING BALL OUT OF HIS FREAKING SKULL! I’LL MAKE A SLUSHY OUT OF HIS BRAIN! AND I’LL USE HIS CLAWS TO PROVIDE CUTTING TOOLS FOR THE LOCAL SCHOOL’S SHOP CLASS!”
Rainbow Dash pulled back from your grasp and looks at you cautiously “...O-K then... So, you’re mad. Erm...Anon, you know you just legit saved Ponyville from a dragon attack, right?”
“BUT MY PERFECT GAME! HOLY CRAP! IS THIS HOW THE X-CAPTAIN FEELS?! I’M GONNA RIP THAT DRAGON’S HEART OUT, I SWEAR IT! REEEEEE!” You were nearly foaming at the mouth.
“Anon!” Rainbow Dash gives you a slap on the face “Snap out of it! You’re creeping me out!”
Ugh! She kind of hit hard on that one. It wasn’t like you were out of it, you were just fucking pissed. “Ouch! Ok, ok! Ugh, so yeah...erm...There was a dragon, and he’s gone now. I mean…” You sigh “Look Rainbow Dash, he ruined my perfect game. I know you’re my teacher and all, but I don’t want to hear it about how I handled it, that guy had it coming.”
“What, you think I’m gonna lay on to you for smacking that dragon? Anon, what you did? THAT WAS AWESOME!” Rainbow Dash said with excitement “I saw you in the air with that huge bat! You sent that guy flying into the stratosphere! It was pretty darn cool! Plus, again, you saved all of Ponyville! I mean, we kind of do that from time to time. But this time, it was you! You should be proud! I am! My student saved the day!” Rainbow Dash had a tear in her eye “I bet this is how my Mom felt about me everyday”
“I-I guess...ugh” You slump down to the ground as your ears droop down “Why couldn’t he attack AFTER I hit the pins?”
Twilight flies back to the ground and notices your position. She gets scared and looks to Rainbow Dash to find out your condition. “Rainbow Dash! Is he ok?! What happened to him?!”
“It’s ok, Twilight. He’s just depressed about some bowling game or something.” Rainbow Dash says “Can you get him to snap out of it?”
Twilight nods “I’ll give it a go” Twilight walks up to you and gives you a tap “Anon, are you ok?”
“No” You say in a slightly hostile way “That dragon ruined my game”
“Ok, and it’s obvious that was really important to you. But you know what’s also important?” Twilight asks you
“Breaking that dragon’s best arm so he’ll never know the joys of bowling?” You say, not really caring what Twilight had to say.
Twilight gulps just a little at that. She knew you could have a violent streak, and tries to see past that. “I-I guess that could be important. But what’s MOST important is the fact that you not only saved the town, but your friends too! Everypony is ok thanks to you. I saw what that dragon was when you knocked him back, I would have had some trouble with him if I had to go against him one on one”
You almost reply with a “I don’t care”. But you realized who you were talking to, and also realized that answer would have made Twilight snap at you for sure. But the truth was, she was right. Despite the fact that your game was ruined, you did actually manage to save the fucking town. Was that a good thing? Maybe. But oh man, your hero status is gonna be at its peak again. And while that was fine, it also meant Snips and Snails were probably gonna come up with another scheme to be your apprentices or something.
But then something else dons on you when you look back at Twilight. You saved the CMC, in which one of its members looked down at you in a way that you didn’t like. You realized there was no way for Sweetie Belle to denounce this shit, she had to full on respect you now.
And oh god, when the Riches hear about this? Oh boy, them respect points. And Diamond? Ohhh yeah, them sweet sweet soft cuddles. “Yeah, I did save everypony, didn’t I? I’m sorry Twilight…” You hide your true thoughts as you give her a tired sigh “I just let my emotions run away with me. So, everypony got out ok?”
Twilight nods “Mhmm, they did. Anon, what you did was very very brave. And heh…” She lets out a sheepish chuckle “I guess I can’t really say something like ‘It’s too dangerous for a foal like you, what were you thinking’ given who you are. In fact, I’m actually really impressed. I didn’t think you could create a physical object to fight him off. How did you know that was going to work, Anon?”
Uhhhhhhhh...You didn’t. “Oh, well, I mean, bats are universal for both games and smashing faces. It seemed obvious to me.”
Rainbow Dash let out an arrogant chuckle as she gave you a pat “See that? He got that kind of thinking thanks to my awesome training.”
“Come on, Rainbow Dash, don’t go trying to take any credit on this one. We know how Anon is, he can be kind of violent at times. But in this case, I’m kind of glad he did. Though I hope that dragon is ok, if only so he can stand trial in Princess Ember’s court...or um...However she does that.” Twilight says.
“I guess...Uh, are we gonna tell Fluttershy about this though? She’s gonna have a fit if she finds out this happened” Rainbow Dash asked, worried that Fluttershy might overreact to you nearly getting charbroiled.
“We have to tell her. Anon is her nephew after all. Plus, it’d be hard to explain why the bowling alley is suddenly demolished without that particular detail anyway. Rainbow Dash, can you take him to Fluttershy’s? She hasn’t left to see the breezies yet, and I’d rather she knows now rather than later.” Twilight asks Rainbow Dash
“What? Come on, Twilight! I’m busy too, remember? That Filthy Rich guy has been asking for me and Captain Spitfire. I don’t even know why, but I bet it’s over something super boring. You know those business types, it’s gonna take forever. I’d rather get it over with now while there’s still a lot of the day to enjoy.” Rainbow Dash protests. But within her protest, something catches your interest. Mr.Rich wanted her and Spitfire? What for? Your training?
Hmmm...Now you were curious.
“Rainbow Dash, there’s a lot of scared ponies out there. As the princess of friendship, it’s up to me to calm everypony down before things get worse. That was a pretty big scare.” Twilight explains.
“Ugh, can’t you have Mayor Mare do it? Then you can take Anon to see Fluttershy while I go meet up with Spitfire for this thing” Rainbow Dash groans.
“Sorry, Rainbow Dash. But I have to do what I have to do. Besides, weren’t you just proud of him for what he did just now?” She moves in close to her and whispers “Please, just stay with him, alright? I can tell from his face that he’s shaken up. You’ve been training him for a while now, so I’m sure you being around him will help calm his nerves. We kind of had a debate that nearly got heated today, I don’t think I’m the right mare for the job in giving him comfort.”
Rainbow Dash, upon hearing those words, suddenly stood up tall and gave Twilight a nod, confirming that she understood and would take this seriously now “Yeah, when you put it that way, it makes sense. Ok, Twilight, you do what you gotta do. I’ll stay with Anon.”
“Thank you, Rainbow Dash. If you need me later for your meeting, let me know, ok?” Twilight gives her a quick hug, and flies off to calm the town.
Rainbow Dash looks back down at you. She couldn’t see any obvious signs of sadness or depression, just what Twilight had said. You were shaken up. But not from the attack itself, you were just fucking pissed at the dragon ruining everything. That and the added curiousness due to Rainbow Dash’s meeting must have made you look rather off in her eyes. “Hey, Rockhead, you alright? I mean for real.”
Rockhead, it’s something she had been calling you since your training with her started. Apparently she had taken to some tradition that the Wonderbolts had in nicknaming their members silly and rather insulting names. And that was the name she had chosen for you, for obvious reasons. You took no offense to it however...Well, not since you started anyway. “Yeah, I’m alright. I just got really angry back there. Sorry if I seemed off, you know how it is. Some dragon ruins your perfect bowling game and you gotta go whack something with a bat…Namely the buttmunch who ruined said game.”
“So it was really that, huh?” Rainbow Dash lets out a gentle chuckle “Man, remind me not to get between you and a bowling ball, huh?” She gives you a very gentle and loving pat “So you really are ok? Not shaken up like Twilight said?”
You nod “Yeah, heh...I kind of feel bad scaring you both like that. But when you’re on a roll, you’re on a roll” You let out a chuckle that gradually gets weaker when you come back to the fact you failed at your goal “I am bummed out though. I was gonna be the first colt to bowl their first perfect game on the first try”
Rainbow Dash smiles at you, and actually feels she can empathize with that feeling you had. “Oh, so that’s how it was, eh? Yeah, now I totally know how you feel. I would have socked that dragon into a pulp if he did the same to me too. Sorry, Anon. But hey! You kicked a dragon’s butt! And everypony saw it! If anypony was denying the fact that a colt could be a hero, they can’t doubt it now. That’s good, right?”
While you had already been thinking of the pros and cons of your heroic deed, you hadn’t thought of the fact that you were indeed easily witnessed in your utter thrashing of that dragon. Oh man, that was pretty cool actually. Sure, you helped beat the Storm King too, but no one really saw that. This? It was right in front of everyone’s faces! Meaning the respect was guaranteed! You actually felt anxious on how everyone would react...and you kind of dreaded if it ended up being too much. You embraced your heroship, especially since Diamond found that a really attractive quality. But if it went to the levels of another fanclub war…Well, you were sure you could keep things under control.
“Yeah, that actually is pretty good.” Still...There was a few other things on your mind. “I just hope Aunt Fluttershy doesn’t get too worried about it.”
“Naaahhhh, you’ve been through much worse. She’ll be worried at first, yeah. But if we keep it cool, then things are gonna be ok” Rainbow Dash says, sounding confident that everything was going to stay calm.
“Yeah, I think so too. So erm, can I ask you a question, Rainbow Dash?”
“Sure, let me just…” Rainbow Dash lowers herself enough for you to get on her back “There we go, hop on”
You nod to her, and hop on her back as she kicks off the ground and begins to hover before making way to Fluttershy’s.
“Yeah, so. I heard Scootaloo is gonna be taking the exam too. What’s that all about? I don’t think it’s bad or anything, just curious.”
“Yep, she’s gonna be taking it too. I didn’t know she had been copying my training style, heck, I didn’t even know she wanted my training. We both kind of had a good laugh about that. She never thought to ask, she thought she had to prove herself first. Well, to tell you the truth, she’s pretty quick on her hooves, Anon. She’s gotten a lot quicker and stronger than before. Heh, I mean, that would just be due to her following my training regimine pretty good. But still, it’s really impressive either way. I told her the exam could be kind of dangerous, but she wanted to take it anyway. If you wanna know the truth, I think she can pass it with flying colors. And I want her to pass it, and by that, I mean slugging it as hard as you slugged that dragon. She really tries, Anon. I think it would be one of the most awesomest things ever if she managed to pass this exam with Captain Spitfire watching. You know what I mean?”
Yeah..that would be pretty...Wait. “So Spitfire is gonna be watching us too? For sure? Is that what Mr.Rich wants you two for?”
“I dunno what he wants us for. I know he paid for the equipment, but that was more through Spitfire than through me. Y’know, he paid Spitfire for the extra equipment I could use for you and that was that. The Captain was gonna watch the exam either way since she was interested in seeing you perform. Y’know, Hero Colt who helped kick the Storm King’s butt makes a pretty big impression when a whole team of pegasi wasn’t able to do it. But Mr.Rich? I dunno, I think he’s gonna turn it into a public event or something.”
A public event? Oh god, you hoped not. But given how much pride he had in you, that was actually a pretty good possibility. Which means Diamond was totally, for sure, gonna be there to watch you. You had to make sure to pass this exam, at any cost. Because that also meant, that if that was indeed the case, that the pressure was going to be on Rainbow too. If you fucked up, that was gonna make her look bad due to the fact she was training you. Considering what she’s done for you, you couldn’t fuck this up. “I see. Well, if that’s what it is, then I’ll make sure to put on a good show. You can trust in me, Rainbow Dash, I got this!”
“I know you do! You and Scootaloo are amazing foals, so I already know you both are gonna do fine! But uhhh...Let’s just focus on your Aunt first, alright? Just in case…”
You nod “Yeah…” God, you hoped she didn’t react too badly.
When Rainbow Dash landed and let you off her back, you take the time to observe the family statues. Obviously, the statue with “Nymous” was no longer there. Rainbow Dash notices where you’re looking and gets a little worried for you. “Yo, Anon, you alright?”
“Oh, uhm, yeah.” You nod back at her and turn your head to face Fluttershy’s door “Just was remembering a few things.”
“Well you gotta get your head out of the clouds because I kinda want to approach this in a way that won’t make Fluttershy go nuts.” Rainbow Dash goes silent for a moment for a quick pondering before she looks back at you “...And I got nothing right now.”
You shrug “I mean, we can just tell her. I know she’s extra sensitive when it comes to my well being, but come on! After dealing with the Storm King, a dragon should be nothing.”
“Anon, she treats you like you’re her kid. I’ve seen her go nuts over even tiny stuff when it comes to you.” Rainbow Dash informs you
“Like what?”
“Well, yesterday, when I was telling her about your final exam, I kind of mentioned this one part with sandbags swinging left and right. You know, to smack you around if you don’t time your run right, and she nearly cancelled her trip to see the Breezies to try to dismantle the whole obstacle course and try to get me and Spitfire to give you something ‘nicer’.”
Really? Over sandbags? Although… “I mean, you’re right, that’s pretty overprotective of her. But if it meant cancelling her trip…”
Welp, you said it. You really did want her to see you pull off the exam. And you didn’t care if Rainbow Dash knew that.
But she didn’t scold you like you expected. In fact, why would you expect her of all ponies to scold you for saying that? She wasn’t Twilight or the other princesses. “I mean, if it wasn’t so important, I would have maybe found a way to get her not to go. Yeah, I guess that’s why you were looking at the statues. It’s a total bummer that she won’t be here to see you tomorrow, but keeping a whole species from falling apart is kinda a big deal.”
Hm? “You’d do that for me, Rainbow Dash?”
“Sure...erm, y’know, it’s not so bad to have the support of your paren-err, Aunt.” Rainbow Dash says as she turns her head to hide her compassionate expression. You really didn’t expect those words out of her, it was like she had some kind of personal experience with it. Maybe she did, Scootaloo has mentioned to you that RD’s parents are pretty cool. But you knew nothing about that. “So yeah, I guess there could have been something that happens, in which I’d so happened to be involved, to get your Aunt to stay...And...yeah” Rainbow Dash’s expression goes from a cocky one to one of compassion, she felt bad for you. “Sorry, Anon, but hey. Your friends are gonna be there, and that still counts, right?”
You nod “Yeah” You then give Rainbow Dash a quick little hug “Thanks, Rainbow Dash. That really means a lot to me”
“Yeah, yeah...I know” Rainbow Dash doesn’t push you away, instead embracing you in that hug for just a quick moment “I’m pretty great, but let’s not get too mushy, ok? Let’s just get it over with. Ahrm…” Rainbow Dash looks to Fluttershy’s door, and gives it a knock “Yo, Fluttershy! You got a minute?”
The door doesn’t take long to open. Fluttershy opens the door with a cheerful greeting, but she seems a little tuckered out and dirty, what the hell has she been doing? “Oh! Hello, Rainbow Dash. How are you today? And oh, Ano- Oh no…” Fluttershy began to frown “It’s about tomorrow, isn’t it?” Fluttershy began to pout as she looked away in shame “I’m really sorry about that, you know that, right?”
GAH! NOPE! You rush over to Fluttershy and give her the biggest hug you could “Nah! Aunt Fluttershy, it isn’t about that! Nope, not even worried about it anyway! Come on, it’s just a training exam, that’s all. What you’re doing is super important, alright? I get it, I’m mature enough to understand super important duties.”
“Anon…” Fluttershy hugs you close “You’re such a mature colt. You have such a big heart, you know that?” You could hear her nearly stutter on those last words as she hugged you, she must have really felt bad about missing this.
“Aunt Fluttershy… You’re the greatest!” You couldn’t help but nuzzle your head into her. Goddamn it. She never, if barely, ever referenced the fact you used to be human. You were a colt, first and foremost, in her eyes.
“Welp, Fluttershy, I can already see that you’re in a much better mood now...so...erm…” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head with her hoof as she looked around nervously “How do you feel about the fact that Anon had fought off a dragon today from destroying Ponyville?”
“Oh, that’s just wonderfu-WHAT?!” Fluttershy suddenly goes wide eyed as she accidentally squeezes you tight enough to choke you “WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!”
Rainbow Dash could see you choking, and points to you to get Fluttershy to notice “Fluttershy, erm…”
“W-what? OH NO!” Fluttershy let you go, but then she started checking over your body in frantic fashion “Did he get hurt?! Are you hurt, Anon!?! Did he claw you?! Did he burn you?!” Fluttershy then looks to Rainbow Dash “How did this even happen?!”
Rainbow Dash leaned her head back with a heavy sigh, she definitely saw this coming. “The dragon just showed up. But Fluttershy, come on, relax! Did you forget who your nephew is? Did you forget who trained him? And do I even have to mention that weapon around his neck? Anon sent that dragon packing! He totally saved Ponyville from becoming a giant barbeque.”
Fluttershy looked to you, her eyes shimmering with worry. “A-Anon, did you really save the town?”
You give her a soft expression as you gently move her shaking hooves away from your person. “Yeah, I stomped that dragon like he was a parasprite.” You give her a cocky grin “You should have seen it, he didn’t stand a chance.”
“Yeah, it was pretty cool. Anon sent that dragon spiraling into the horizon. That guy ain’t coming back after that, that’s for sure. So relax, alright? You already have enough on your plate.” Rainbow Dash reassures her.
Fluttershy takes a moment to take a breath, and calm down to assess the situation. She gave you one more look over, and she could see you hadn’t suffered a single injury. She then gently brushes her hoof over your mane as she takes a moment to relax herself. “I’m so sorry, everypony. I’ve been so busy getting ready for my visit with the breezies and how all that would go that I guess I got a little jumpy.”
“Heh, you’re always a little jumpy, Fluttershy. Just relax, alright? Anon handled it like a pro. You should be proud of him.” Rainbow Dash says, as she looks to you with pride. “I know I am”
“Oh, I am proud of him. Very very proud. I’m proud of him every day, actually.” Fluttershy looks to you with a gentle smile “And I guess I really was acting a little silly. But gosh, beating a mean ole dragon by yourself? And you said he just showed up?”
“Well, Rainbow Dash said that. But yeah, he just showed up. The bowling alley is gonna need to be rebuilt but, everypony got out ok and I made sure that dragon is gonna think twice before he decides to come back to Ponyville again.” You say to Fluttershy with a bit of an arrogant sense of pride.
“Oh, Anon...I’m just glad you and everypony else is ok. Anon…” Fluttershy gently rubs your cheek with her hoof as she looks into your eyes with a deep sense of love and maternal care “Anon...I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re able to take care of yourself better and able to protect everypony too. I really am so so so proud of you. I know it may not look like it, but I really do sleep easier knowing how strong you’ve become.”
“Aww, come on, Aunt Fluttershy. I’ve always been tough! You’re acting like I’ve always been a softie or something. Heh, ever since I came to Equestria and got to know everypony, I always had this feeling I had to protect everypony.”
“I know...I just remember some of the older days. Things like that nasty Queen Chrysalis or that horrible chimera. Seeing you now, I know things would have been different if how you are now was how you were before.” Fluttershy says.
Ugh, come on now...Don’t mention her… “Yeah...Well, erm. You’re right, I am a lot tougher now, if you put it that way. So...erm, are you ok now?”
Fluttershy nods “I am, thank you both for coming to see me, and telling me about the dragon attack.”
“Hey, no problem, figured it’d be better to tell you now before you left. That way you wouldn’t think that something happened to Anon if he wasn’t around to confirm it himself...Or, y’know, you just getting super scared about hearing from somepony else about that stupid dragon coming in and wrecking the place.” Rainbow Dash says.
“Oh dear, I don’t know how I would have reacted if that happened. Hmmm...Oh, well now that everything is alright, would you two like to help me make sure everything is packed? I was just making sure I had everything in order before I leave.” Fluttershy said as she looked to the two of you cheerfully.
Rainbow Dash however, seemed rather hesitant for something that sounded so boring “Uhhhh, aren’t you going to just see the breezies? How much stuff do you actually need?”
“Oh, quite a bit actually. Although I am going to see the breezies, I will be interacting with a few other species too. It’s very exhausting work and I need to make sure everything is in order. See?” Fluttershy points to a bunch of ridiculously small beds, foodstuffs of various kinds, a bag of bits, some musical instruments, and some other shit….What the fuck kind of trip was this?
“Aunt Fluttershy? What’s with the beds and instruments and stuff?” You ask
“Well, some of the animals the breezies accidently made angry are nocturnal. So, the little beds and soothing music will help calm them down during the day time, and then I’ll speak to them at night. Don’t worry, eventually I’ll get everything settled in just a few days and I’ll be back before you know it.” Fluttershy sure seemed confident about that.
“Yeeeeeeahhhh, well, I got stuff to do...Kinda important for tomorrow. So since I’m done here, erm, seeya!” Rainbow Dash said as she quickly made her way out the door.
“Oh!” Fluttershy giggled “It must be really important to make Rainbow Dash run out that fast, although…” She whispers to you “I know she can just be really lazy sometimes when it comes to something she thinks is silly.” Fluttershy then looks to you with her eyes closed, her smile ever warming. “So Anon, do you want to help me make sure everything is set and ready to go?”
How could you say no? “Sure, Aunt Fluttershy. Besides, the more time I get to spend with you before you go, the better.”
“Anon, awww, you make me feel like I’m more important than I am. Thank you, though, for staying to help. Oh, I know! After we’re done, I’ll make us both some delicious smoothies and some chocolate chip cookies! How does that sound?”
Oh baby! That sounded awesome! “Yeah! That sounds great! What flavor will the smoothies be?”
“Do you remember the healthy herbs and food Zecora taught me to make to help you heal?” Fluttershy says.
wait..WHAT?! NOOOPE! “U-uhhh..e-ermmm..”
Fluttershy let out a cute little laugh as she kissed your forehead “Oh Anon, you’re so silly sometimes. I was joking, I was thinking it should be a strawberry smoothie. What do you think?”
O-oh god...Thank christ. Heh..Oh Fluttershy, you can be so adorable sometimes….and yet scary...god, you still remembered how shitty that gruel tasted. “That sounds perfect.”
The next few hours would be quite the contrast to the last few. Calm and pleasant as you and Fluttershy sift through everything she was going to take and making sure it was all packed properly. Double checking, triple checking, and even quadruple checking to make sure nothing was missing or misplaced.
“So, when will you be back, a week? Maybe two?” You ask
“Oh, probably about five days to a week really. That is, if everypony is willing to be reasonable and listen.” Fluttershy says as she finishes securing one of her bags.
“Oh…” That was a little too long for your taste, and Fluttershy notices that is disheartened you so.
“It’ll be alright, Anon.” Fluttershy puts the bag down and walks over to you to give you a gentle hug “It won’t be too long, and I know you can handle yourself without me. Besides, I know you have other friends who can keep you company when I’m not around.”
“Well, yeah, I know. I just like being around you sometimes. You’re one of the few ponies I know who help me feel calm and relaxed.”
“What about your marefriend?” Fluttershy gives you a poke on the nose “Doesn’t she do that for you too?”
Yes...Sometimes...when she was doting over you mostly. “Yeah, I guess so. Erm, so then…” There was one other thing you wanted to talk to Fluttershy about. You had wondered what she thought about Twilight’s school. “So what do you think of that friendship school Twilight is having built?”
“I think it’s wonderful” Fluttershy cooed with a heavenly sigh “Everycreature from across the world learning about friendship? It’s one of the most amazing things ever. And I can’t wait to teach them all about kindness, love, and care. And I can’t wait to have you in my class, Anon. I’ll be able to teach you all kinds of things within a group that I couldn’t just by myself.”
Oh shit! DAMMIT! YOU DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS GONNA BE A TEACHER! HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?! How could you miss that? Ugh…
“Oh...erm...About that, I kind of declined Twilight’s offer to go.” Fuck man, why did you have to ask for her opinion? You couldn’t even look at her as your ears drooped down from the shame of disappointing her.
“You did? Why?” Fluttershy looks to you with some worry, but not as much as you thought she was going to have. She just seemed more curious as to why you said no.
“Because, I felt a school isn’t really a place to learn about friendship. Y’know, in a practical sense. I feel it’s something you just learn naturally. Plus, I’ve made so many friends already, and even reformed quite a few of them...Except for Stygian, that was a bit of my bad on that one.”
Fluttershy stared at you silently for a moment, then gave you a nod “I respect your decision, Anon. Those are actually very fine points you made. And truthfully, you really have improved since we first met. And reforming Tempest? Oh my, I remember how absolutely mean she was when we first saw her, she was so scary.” Fluttershy then let out a little bit of a giggle “Maybe we should ask Twilight to make you a teacher then. I know you don’t really like the idea of the school, but you do seem to have a way of reforming ponies who just seem really mean and rude.”
“Haha! I guess I...wait…” You as a teacher?! NOPE! You’re not gonna deal with a bunch of dumb kids. Not no way, not no how. “Is that a joke?”
“Yes and no.” Fluttershy has a little bit of a giggle when she notices you get a little frantic “It is a nice thought. But I know how you are, I know it’s not a thing for you...hmm” Fluttershy looked up and across the archway to her kitchen. “How about those smoothies and cookies, hmm? We are pretty much done, and I know my animal friends will help me super duper make sure I’m ready.”
Fuck yes! Just the promise of delicious cookies was enough to get that friendship school out of your mind. “Sure!”
“Alright, let me just...Oh?” Fluttershy’s ear perks up when she hears a knocking at the door “I wonder who that could be? Oh, it might be Pinkie Pie. She probably forgot when I’m actually leaving and came to say goodbye.”
But as Fluttershy got up to check the door, your ears perk when you hear the frantic callings of Diamond Tiara. Diamond? What was she doing here? “Future Aunt Fluttershy! Are you home?! Is Anon home?! I need to speak to him! Right now!”
Right now?...oh boy...What happened now? The way she was sounding, it made you scared that something bad happened...or something bad for you, anyway.
“He’s here, what ever is wrong? Are you alAGH!” Fluttershy jumps back the moment she unlocks the door as Diamond dashes in, darting towards you as if she always knew where you were.
“HIAUNTFLUTTERSHY!” Diamond yells as she rushes towards you, grabs you, and rushes out the door with you “BYEAUNTFLUTTERSHY!”
Fluttershy can only blink as everything happens before her eyes in a near quick flash.
“Gyah! Diamond! Diamond!” You yell as she already has you over the bridge, your back being dragged across the ground by her unusually high strength.
“Huh? Oh!” Diamond stops and let’s you go. She then helps you up and brushes off your back. Despite all this, she was still filled with energy as to whatever the fuck just happened. “Sorry Anon! But something amazing is going to happen!”
Something amazing? “Erm...isn’t the fake wedding at the end of the week?”
“Yes, it is. But it’s not that. I heard you defeated a dragon this morning, something I know I don’t need to ask you since I already know it’s true. And do you know who also knows that?” Diamond looks at you with a snooty but lovestruck smile.
Who else would she really care about knowing unless it was her parents her some princess? “Well, you probably know that Twilight knows...So I’m going to guess your parents, right?”
Diamond let out an adorable little giggle as she taps her nose with yours “You’re always so smart, Anon. That’s right, both my parents know! And that’s why I came to tell you something, because that something is pretty big! Like, totally big!”
Uh oh...Maybe you publicly crushing that dragon may have been too much after all. Because if it involved Spoiled, then it involved something that if it didn’t meet her approval or standard, everyone suffered for it. “So, what is it?”
Diamond looks around, then looks to a set of bushes. “Silver Spoon, are you still there?”
Silver Spoon pokes her head out from the bushes and nods her head “Uh huh, and theres nopony around since you went to the door. So it’s totally safe to tell him.” She says as she hops from the bushes to join Diamond. Oh god, and it’s supposed to be secret too?! What the hell can it be?!
“Errr, totally safe to tell me what? What’s going on?! I mean, I beat a dragon. I know that’s cool and-” Diamond cuts you off as she hops up in excitement.
“YOU MEAN TOTALLY AWESOME! Oh, I wish I could have seen it for myself.” Diamond swooned.
“I know right? Imagine if you were stuck in a tower, and that Anon came to rescue you after he beat that dumb dragon” Silver Spoon says, inciting Diamond enough for her to let out a long doting sigh.
“I know...It’d be super romantic. Oh!” But she snaps out of her love filled haze and looks to you, still smiling, but she also looked rather serious. “So that thing? That secret thing? Well, do you know how you’re doing your final training exam tomorrow? With Spitfire and Rainbow Dash.”
You nod “Yeah...why?”
Diamond looks around, and starts to get giddy “Well, Mother thought it’d be a great idea to make it a Barnyard Bargains sponsored event! With limited tickets and benches and all that stuff! We don’t even have to do any mass advertising since your dad has been running around town telling everypony about how you beat a dragon and that you were his son. I mean, we knew that last part, but it helps let everypony know that it’s you, I guess. Mother is personally going to be inviting her friends for tomorrow’s event! My Anon, the amazing hero colt! The youngest ever to be trained by an element and the Wonderbolts!” She looks at you with dreamy eyes “Ohhhh, is there anything you can’t do?”
Oh no...Spoiled, what the fuck?!
“Erm...Yeah, I do do a lot of stuff. Erm, what do you mean by your mother’s friends by the way?” She had friends?
“Oh, you know, just ponies Mother knows that she wants to rub in their face that she’s the future mother-in-law of the greatest colt in Equestria...You” Diamond says as she tenderly rubs the side of her face with yours.
“They are gonna be sooooooo jealous when they see Anon pass that test like a pro!” Silver Spoon adds, her voice full of smug.
Diamond looks back at her with a nod “Well, they should be. They always try to one up Mother, so this will really show them who is the best! Which would be us! And you too, Silver Spoon, since you’re my best friend.”
“Oh, you don’t have to tell me that. I already know I’m the best since I’m best friends with the greatest filly in Equestria.” Silver Spoon says with a bow “Future Princess Diamond Tiara”
Diamond Tiara giggles as she raises her hoof towards Silver Spoon “Arise, Lady Spoon, you needn’t be so formal. I mean, that’s for everypony else to do...towards us I mean.”
They both started giggling towards each other. But you felt horrid dread fill your soul at that very moment. Tomorrow was going to be a lot worse than you could ever imagine. Now? Now you couldn’t fuck up ONCE! You weren’t even worried about the fucking crowd. You were more worried over the fact that Spoiled was putting her social status on the line over your fucking final exam! If you screw up…
“Erm, Diamond...What would happen if I screwed up? Just asking.” You were near white at this point.
“Oh, that would be pretty bad...Erm…” Diamond pondered on it a bit before looking at you with a cheerful smile. “She’d probably ruin your life so bad that you wouldn’t even be able to show yourself in the badlands...But why are you worried about that? You’re Anon! You never mess up!” She said with ignorant cheer.
You didn’t know how to feel. Dread? Scared? Mortified? Hell, maybe you should have just fucking stalled the dragon until Twilight got there. Or fucking disintegrated the fucker and told her that it flew off. This was worse than Snips and Snails. Oh so much worse…
Fucking Discord. He had to get some glory out of this, didn’t he? Running around the entire fucking town singing of your praises just so it’d make him look good. UGH!
You suddenly felt a lack of confidence in passing your exam tomorrow. Hell, it’s one thing screwing up, you really didn’t want to see Spoiled’s reaction if the crippled pegasus whooped your fucking ass.
You needed emergency training. But without the horn, you had no way of locating Rainbow Dash or creating a quick training exercise to get you focused. You needed to get some sort of quick warm up training to make absolutely sure you were ready for tomorrow.
You needed to make sure you had no way of fucking any part of that exam.
You needed something tougher and more dangerous than that exam to make sure you were at your best.
You needed...Starlight.
“Diamond, my princess, my love...I need to go!” You say, feeling panicky and frantic.
“What?! But I wanted to go out with you so we can go get some ic-” Diamond stops when you give her a quick peck on the mouth “Err...ok…My prince” She says with a drunken giggle.
“Wait! Anon, where are you going anyway? Oh, I guess you were doing something with your Aunt, right?” Silver asks, absolutely making sure for Diamond that you couldn’t be THAT busy.
“err..Yeah, and then I had this other big thing...which was…is...for tomorrow’s training. Super important!” You tell Silver Spoon as you slowly step backwards
“Oh! Yeah, that totally is a good reason. You have to be super ready for tomorrow. Just make sure not to tell anypony what we told you, alright? If anypony found out the reason my Diamond’s mom is doing this, then well...QRRRK” Silver rubs her hoof along her neck to signify death.
How comforting…
“G-got it, take care you two… I love you, Diamond!” You say as you rush off.
Diamond just looks over to you with a smile “...O-ok...wait!” She calls out to you frantically as she snaps out of her stupor “Anon! Wait!”
You stop dead in your tracks near Fluttershy’s door and look back at her “What is it?”
“I LOVE YOU TOO!” She yells back at you from the little bridge.
You just smile at her, salute, blow her a kiss, and frantically dash back inside.
Returning to the cottage, you explain to Fluttershy that you had to go for “Training Exam” reasons, and that you could not wait for the cookies or the smoothie. She didn’t take you too seriously at first, stating that there was always time for delicious snacks. But you stress that tomorrow was going to be much worse than you could imagine, and then explain to her what was going to happen.
Fluttershy was caught off guard. She knew how scary it was to perform in front of a crowd, especially in the kind of situation you found yourself in. She nodded and finally understood why you had to leave so early, she also mentioned that she’d have a talk with Discord about his bragging across the town.
You really didn’t want this to be the last moment you’d see Fluttershy for awhile, but this really was important. So with a kiss, a hug, and a loving goodbye, you make your way out of cottage and towards the little bridge. It seems Silver Spoon and Diamond had already gone, probably to respect your privacy with your aunt and to let you focus for tomorrow. Oh boy, you were gonna need all the focus you could get.
Using your map, you transfer to your room and quickly go for your portal door. You shift the dial to Starlight’s town and make your way to her home.
Things had vastly improved over the course of time. The town was now a cross, with the town hall in the center. There were more residents, more greenery, and the overall health and happiness of the town was at an all time high.
Except for the fact that mayorship seems to change within every month or so. No one in town wanted or felt worthy of the title. Sure, there were still elections and some did try to lead the town. But it always ended the same. They quit the position, leaving Starlight to do a bulk of the leading until the next election. She didn’t mind at this point, but she still wished someone would at least take the job seriously and stick with it.
When you reached Starlight’s house, you started knocking on it as calmly as you could. You didn’t want to give her a reason to be on edge or freak out. But the one to answer the door wouldn’t be her, rather it was Trixie in some sort of business suit and top hat. Was that performance wear? Where was the leotard?
Trixie Lulamoon, what a trip she was. Although she had her wagon parked in the back of Starlight’s house, she preferred to live in her home rather than in the wagon itself. Though, she sometimes flips flops on that for some reason. Given the fact she could still be overly smug and cocky, you personally felt that you’d go mad being stuck with her for weeks on end. Still, Trixie was cool in small doses.
“Ah! Anon! What timing! Come and be amazed at the new leader of…” Trixie stops when she realizes something “This place still doesn’t have a name...Ahrm. Anyway! I will change that! For I am the Amazing and Ever Honorable Trixie!”
WHAT?! “G-guh..w-what?!” THEY ELECTED HER?! Your mouth hung open from the utter atrocity of it all.
“Ahh, I can see you are astounded and paralyzed by the utter greatness Trixie exudes!” Trixie gives you a smug grin as she closes your mouth for you with her hoof “Just the reaction I wanted to see.”
“A-a-ahrm..erm..Umm” What do you even say to that? “C-congratul-Ok, wait. How did this even happen? Aren’t the elections still going on?”
“...Yes...But..Erm” Trixie’s bravado began to wane heavily “Considering I am willing to keep the position, I’d like to think that I have a good chance of winning. W-what do you think, Anon?” She was suddenly looking at you for comfort in her endeavor.
“Erm…” She was never going to get elected, you already knew that. She was still much too arrogant and kind of a jerk at times to do that. But, you sigh, give her a smile, and nod at her “I think you’re going to do fine.”
“AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Trixie breaks out in victorious and boisterous laughter “Trixie is truly the best! Step aside, Anon! Trixie has foals to kiss!”
Foals to kiss? That’s so...cartoonish. It nagged at you enough to stop her. “Wait, Trixie! Erm...What about your policies for when you win? They're good, right?”
Trixie stops, blinks at you, then chuckles “Even if I knew what that was, Trixie has no time for that! Don’t bother me, Anon. I’m busy! HAHAHAHAHA!” She walks off laughing near maniacally to herself.
You just silently look at her as you shake your head. Poor poor Trixie. Though, you too were busy, weren’t you? You rush off inside the house, and call out for Starlight.
It took a bit, but Starlight emerged from her basement wearing safety goggles. “Anon? Hey! Wasn’t expecting you today, what’s up?” She says as she puts the goggles to hang on the wall.
“Starlight, hey...Erm, this isn’t exactly a social visit. I kind of need help”
“Help?” At first she was confused until she realized what you could mean by that “Oh, right. Your training exam. Why do you need my help for that? Last I knew, there was nothing magic related to the test at all.”
Well, at least she was on the same page. “There isn’t, but see…” You explain to her everything that has transpired so far. From the Dragon to Spoiled Rich.
“So...let me get this straight, now you have to do more than just pass to impress your future mother-in-law, or else you’ll embarrass her in front of the other elite ponies, which would mean she would be so upset at you that she’d find some way to ruin your life forever. Did I get all that?” Starlight asked, rather calm about it.
Because at this point, you were looking pretty worried. “It’s more than just that. I’m also competing with Scootaloo! If she even comes close to beating me, I’m going to look like a total loser! I mean, I should be able to stomp her no problem. It’s not like she can...Wait…” Scootaloo wasn’t some rando pony you could easily stomp. Nor was she someone you’d love to show up like Sweetie Belle. This was Scootaloo, who, despite your own stupidity sometimes, has stuck with you through thick and thin and has always...mostly been able to see your side of things whenever you looked like the bad guy.
“Anon, are you alright?” Starlight asked as your expression became more dreadful and even frightening. You were suddenly staring right at her.
Suddenly, you began screaming at higher octaves when you realized one horrible little thing. You then rushed over to Starlight, hopped up, and brought her head down by grabbing at her ears. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I ACTUALLY LIKE SCOOTALOO AS A FRIEND! STARLIGHT! I CAN’T CRUSH HER IN FRONT OF RAINBOW DASH! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH! AND SHE BELIEVES IN ME! AHHHHHHHHHHH!” You suddenly grab onto your own head as you also realize… “BUT I CAN’T LOSE EITHER! NOT WITH EVERYPONY WATCHING ME LIKE THAT!” Before Starlight can even recover, you grab her by the ears again and pull her down “BUT SCOOTALOO WILL BE SAD FOREVER!” You then go back to grabbing your own head “BUT I CAN’T LET HER SHOW ME UP!”
Before you could grab onto Starlight again, she lifts you up with her magic and gives you a heavy shake. “Anon! Anon! Calm down! You’re acting loonier than Trixie right now!”
“BUT!...But…” You calm down as she shakes some sense into you. When she puts you down, you look down in shame and worry about tomorrow “How am I supposed to handle tomorrow now? Ugh...Why couldn’t one of those two idiots be in the exam instead? I could have easily ran circles around them.”
“Ok, Anon...What exactly is going on now?” Starlight needed you to calm down so she could figure out what the hell you were talking about.
You look down, sigh miserably, and look to Starlight, your face representative of a broken soul. “Like I said, I need to pass the exam tomorrow with flying colors to make sure I don’t ruin my future mother-in-law’s reputation. But my friend, Scootaloo, she’s been waiting for a moment like this all her life, to prove herself. See, she’s going to be taking the exam too, and it would mean the world to her to pass it in a way that would impress Rainbow Dash.If she was anypony else, I’d have crushed them. But her? Starlight, I just can’t do it. She’s been through enough already.”
“Wow...Erm…” Starlight looked over to her kitchen, then back at you. “Ok, so I think I see where this is going. You’re asking for my help to figure this all out, right? To make sure you pass while also making sure your friend looks good.”
“Yeah...Originally, I was going to ask you for some warm up training. You know, throwing magical bolts for me to dodge and stuff. But now? I dunno…I don’t even know why I came here anymore. I had been looking forward to crushing this thing for awhile, And I still do, I just need to figure out a way for Scootaloo to manage that too without it making me look bad.” You had to figure out a way.
“Well, I was going to suggest a drink for us to sip while we figure it out. But uh...Why don’t you just tie with her?” Starlight suggests.
….wut? “Holy...How...How did I not think of that?!” HOLY FUCK! IT’S SO SIMPLE! HOLY SHIT!
“Well, that’s what stress does to you. It gets you so worried that the simple solutions don’t seem so simple. And as soon as Trixie gets that, maybe I’ll be able to make some coffee again.” Starlight says
“Yeah, I can’t believe I didn’t think about that at all. I could still crush the exam, all I have to do is slow it down in some parts to let Scoots catch up. She’s pretty athletic, you know? She shouldn’t have…” Wait… “Coffee? What, she broke your coffee maker or something?”
“She did, when I was teaching her a better version of “disappearing” that didn't have to do with a smoke bomb. She somehow accidentally sent a magic bolt right into it, turning it to scrap. But that isn’t the problem, the problem is that she’s really insistent in trying to fix it for me. I already told her it was alright, but she keeps trying anyway. Her last repair job ended up bursting into flames. Right now? Kinda afraid to turn it on.” Starlight tells you, as she glances towards the kitchen again.
“Oh...Why doesn’t she buy you a new one?”
“Because she barely has any money as is and I didn’t want her to waste it on me. Ugh, I know, it’s stupid of me, but I couldn’t let her just go and pay for a replacement with what little she had. I just kind of wish she’d stop trying to repair it...Because, y’know, I have the money to get a new one.”
“...So, why don’t you buy a new one?”
Starlight sighs again “Because it’d upset her. She’s trying really hard to make it work, I don’t want to upset her by buying a new one.”
“Well, erm. I guess you’re kinda in the same shoes I am in that regard. So, why not try it now then? Maybe this time she got it.” You ask Starlight.
“I dunno...It’s all set though…” Against her better judgement, she sighs, gives in, and puts faith in Trixie once again “I guess I can give it another shot.”
“Yeah, come on, I’ll even check it out with you. It can’t be that bad.” You say, calmer now that such an easy solution had been found. Man, were you glad you were human, or else you’d probably spent twenty two minutes trying to figure out the solution yourself and telling Starlight how stupid that plan was.
You and Starlight step into the kitchen. She walks towards a rather shabby and kind of dubious looking Coffee Maker and brings her hoof near the on switch. “I don’t even know why Trixie doesn’t test her attempts at fixing this thing herself.”
You shrug “Because she probably assumes it’s fixed...Y’know, because she’s great and powerful and all”
“Yeah...That’s probably it” Starlight braces herself and prepares to turn it on “Get ready, Anon, I have no idea what’s going to happen when I flick that switch.”
You get ready to duck your head, there was no way you were going to get hit this time. “I’m ready, go for it!” God, you were putting faith in Trixie. But with Starlight’s situation kinda sounding the same as yours in some way, you felt oddly generous enough to give her a chance.
“Ok, here I go!” Starlight flicks the switch and produces a magical barrier around herself.
At first it sputters, causing you both to duck. But after that…
“Wait…” You hear it, it was the cool and calming sound of fresh coffee pouring into a cup. “Starlight. Starlight! Look! It works!”
“W-what?” Starlight opens her eyes, and see the coffee maker pour out a simple cup of coffee “No way...It works. Wow, I...Really didn’t expect that.”
“Heh…” That was a sign, you were sure of it. Put your trust in your friend, and do right by them. That’s totally how you planned to do things tomorrow. “There you go, it looks like you’re going to have no problem getting your coffee now, eh?”
“Yeah, and I’m sure I can fix that sputtering it made when I turned it on. Wow, good job Trixie! Ok, well, I guess I can have a cup now since it all worked out. Let me just turn it off and OOH!” The moment she flicked it off, the coffee maker’s nozzle somehow came loose enough to shoot hot coffee at an angle, smothering the entire top part of your head with burning liquid.
“Anon!” Starlight magically pulls the plug to get it to stop. “Ohhh, that’s not good. I-I think I can fix that myself, actually. But, Anon! A-are you ok?!” She looks to you with heavy worry, she could see steam coming off the top of your head. “Anon! I’m going to get the first aid, alright? That coffee can really leave a nas-” But you stop her as you calmly put your hoof up.
Yup, it burned like an asshole. But you were so used to shit hitting your head at this point that this was fucking nothing. “Yeah...don’t even worry about it. Can I just take a bath, get this gunk out of my mane?”
“A-are you sure? A-anon, there is steam literally coming off the top of your head.” She was stunned, both by the possible burning you were feeling and how well you were taking it.
“I’m sure…” Ugh...Always...ALWAYS...something.
“O-ok then...erm, the bathroom is right there, next to the stairs to the basement.” She points, still utterly shocked.
And so you went, calmly and with humiliation, to take a cold shower.
However, when you came out of said bathroom washed and refreshed, the humiliation you felt was no longer there. You had time to think about what’s really important. Also, you couldn’t remember the last time you took a bath, period. It was like just coming and going from your room mostly kept you clean. Or maybe it was some sort of oversight from some deity above, who knows…
Either way, you felt much better now.
When you stepped out, you noticed Starlight messing with her personal taser. “Starlight? Whatcha doin?”
Starlight notices you, and puts the taser down on a table with her magic. She looks at you with a gentle stoic look “Just messing with my taser. Don’t really get to use it much since things have been pretty peaceful, so I like to take it out sometimes and give it a quick examination. I know it’s unlikely, but if a threat did show up and I had to use it as a last resort, I’d rather it not malfunction in some way. Oh, so...How do you feel? Are you alright?”
You nod, giving her a cheerful smile “Heck yeah! As if a simple blast of blazing hot coffee can stop me! Although, I was still interested in getting some reflex training in. I have to be at my best tomorrow, so if I want to be impressive for Spoiled while making sure Scootaloo can keep up, I’m gonna need all the help I can get.”
“Sure! I don’t mind helping you with that, especially since tomorrow is so important for you. So, what did you have in mind for this training anyway?” Starlight asked
“Easy, I want you to hit me with everything you got.” You tell her, ignorant of what that could actually mean.
“Uhhhhh…” Starlight looked surprised, and looked at you as if you were biting off more than you could chew “Anon, you totally definitely do not want that.”
“Why not?” You ask “Starlight, I’m much better thanks to my training. Plus, even before that, I have the reflexes of a master gamer! I can handle whatever you throw at me.”
“Yeah...I saw those reflexes when that coffee shot out at you, which you had time to dodge out of the way, just mentioning.” Starlight raises her hoof and shakes it to further signify how much of a bad idea this sounded to her “Anon, you really don’t want this. I’m an extremely powerful unicorn, you should know that. You’re going to get hurt”
“Starlight, this is the only chance I’m gonna get. This isn’t just for me, It’s for Scoots. Also, I wasn’t in the zone when that coffee shot out. This time? I’m totally in that zone! Trust me, with my superior physique, I’ll be able to dodge anything and everything you got!”
“Anon, I cannot stress this enough…” She starts using both her forelegs to emphasize her following words “You-are-going-to-get-hurt”
“Starlight, I need you to trust me on this, ok? Besides, why do you even think that? I had a major part in beating the Storm King, remember?”
“I remember some mention of you getting clobbered up and down until the very end, or something like that.”
Oygh, that one hurt. “Y-yeah, but just like with the coffee, he caught me super off guard, and that was before my training too. Starlight, come on! I’m not a kid...mostly...sort of! Look, I’m super sure I can handle it. So just don’t hold back, and just hit me with what you got, alright? I’ll just focus on dodging.” You do your best to recover from her words and look at her with gathered confidence “Come on, what’s the worst that can happen?”
“Oh boy…You don’t want to know” Starlight says with a cringe as she goes over her more dangerous spells in her head
It looked like she still wasn’t willing. You could try pouting, being cute, and saying “pwease”....but oh god, she’d lose respect for you, you know it. You needed something to fully convince her.
You only had one more thing you could think of. “Starlight, I’m serious. You’ve met Scootaloo before, she has a lot of hope in her heart, and is putting her livelihood on this. I can’t let her down...So please?” You stare into her eyes, with a half serious, half begging look. “Help me? So I can make sure this all goes down ok, please?
“Oygh, you’re guilt tripping me...But…” Starlight groans as she finally gives in “I guess you’re right...It would be hard to balance showing off and helping Scootaloo if you weren’t prepared. But again, seriously? Are you sure you want me to go all out? I can hold back some, you know, I shouldn’t have to try to incinerate you just so you can get the training you need.”
“I’m su-...Wait…” Did she say… “Incinerate? What?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Or did you forget I was willing to do whatever I needed to achieve my old goal? Including having to fight Twilight if I had to. My most powerful spells are nearly undodgeable, Anon, you won’t last. I could have just said yes and not actually tried my hardest, but then I know you’d complain. Plus there is the fact that I do respect you as my equal, enough to actually go all out. So again, one final time, do you want me to hold back? Or do you really REALLY want me to go all out? Because unless your skills have improved that much, you’re gonna get blasted pretty hard.” And she sounded pretty damn serious on this too.
You gulped, this could end up being your end if she respected you enough to really give it her all upon your request. Should you do it?
Should you…?
You have taken beatings before…
But you were planning on dodging everything…
Do it, and don’t look back.
You redouble your bravery on the matter, and nod at Starlight. “Let’s do it!”
Starlight couldn’t say a thing at first. She looked down, let out a breath, got up, and started heading out the door. “Follow me then, I want to be a good distance out of town before we do this.”
And so you both went, travelling out of town a good distance enough that it was just a blur in the horizon, both you and Starlight surrounded by the empty desolation of the rest of the mountainous region. With only a few rocks, boulders, and canyon walls scattered about to set the scene.
Starlight looks at you with a serious glare as her horn lights up. She stands just a few yards away, ready to give it her all. “Last chance, Anon, unless you’re absolutely sure you can handle this, then I suggest we tone it down, alright?”
You couldn’t tone it down. Besides, at this point, it wasn’t even about you or Scoots anymore. Starlight was so damn sure this was beyond you, and during your walk, you built up an absolute need to prove her wrong. “I can do this, Starlight. Bring it on! On my mark! 3…2…”
Starlight looked more than prepared to fire on the word “go!”. But despite her saying she was going all out, as she did plan to, she also did have enough hard to dodge spells that, while high level, were actually pretty safe. She had a pretty quick spell that could encase her target in magic crystal. She was thinking of hitting you with that to get you to realize how foolish you were being.
“1...go!” You immediately rush to the right to try to throw off whatever Starlight was about to fire. But Starlight was ready for you, she fires a laser shot right where you were going to be.
However, your reflexes were, in fact, sharp enough to catch that she aimed towards your direction. You jump forward and above her beam. But suddenly, your lower body gets stuck in some purple crystal roughly twice your size. “G-Guh?!” You try desperately to get out, but to no avail, you were stuck. “What is this?!”
“Gee whiz, Anon, you sure dodged that, huh?” Starlight looked to you with an arrogant smirk as she approached you, and then flicked your nose “I told you you couldn’t handle me at my highest level. This is a powerful concealment spell. Really really hard to learn considering I don’t even need to make a direct hit for it to work. So...” She sighs, and looks to you with a frown “Do you see what I mean now? This is just reflex training, Anon. My strongest spells aren’t going to help you learn anything, ok? So let’s just tone it down like I suggested.”
“Ngh! No! That was just...NGH!” You were struggling to get free “A lucky shot! I can do this! I know I can!”
It wasn’t just the fact that Starlight didn’t believe you could do it, it was something else too. You had been training so hard, to be something more than just a guy with a deus ex machina at his command. You wanted to be able to win fights with your wit and skills alone.
“Anon…” Starlight shook her head “Come on, please, it’s over.” She didn’t even want to continue any more. She wanted to help you, but not while you were being persistent like this.
“It’s...Not...OVER!” With all your will, strength, and even luck, you manage to bring yourself down, grip the ground with your hooves, and flip yourself and the large stone over, nearly crushing Starlight.
Starlight teleports away as she witnesses you bring the stone down hard with your body, shattering it to pieces. “What in the…” Starlight was astonished, she didn’t expect you to be able to do that with just your front hooves.
“I told you I could do it! Yeah! OH YEAH!” You jumped up above the crystal rubble with pride. You then looked to Starlight, more ready than ever. “Come on! I’m still willing to go!”
Starlight had to admit to herself, that was somewhat impressive. “Alright, I didn’t expect you to manage to flip yourself like that, but if that isn’t enough to stop you.” Starlight starts to glow as she raises into the air, looking down at you with an almost sinister glare “Then I’ll have to really up my game!” By that, she meant mostly hitting you with a multishot stunning spell. She wasn’t willing to use explosive projectiles or straight up lasers just yet. “Take this, Anon!”
You witness Starlight bring her head back and swing it forward, launching a shitton of electric balls down towards your position.
Ok…maybe you went in a little over your head this time. “Shit…”
You start darting around the arena, doing your best to dodge every shot that came down near you. You jumped to the left to dodge one shot, then cartwheeled to the right to dodge a few more before backflipping to dodge a particularly humongously large electrical orb. You were diving,rolling, spinning, tumbling, and jumping away from every shot that came upon your vicinity. The worst part of it all was that Starlight wasn’t relenting. Sure, you originally didn't want that, but holy fuck! This really was too much! The truth was that this spell actually didn’t use too much power at all for a unicorn like her. They were magical orbs that simply stunned for a short while. They were being shot out in a ridiculous pace to compensate for it’s less than stellar power. Hell, their trajectory was random as her horn spit them out. But you didn’t know that.
Starlight was actually impressed even further. Despite you screaming for her to stop at this point as you had become fearful of blowing up like she had suggested you would, you were in fact dodging her randomly fired orbs. She knew, if she wanted to, that she could hit you with something like a laser shot or a focused explosive blast. But this was merely training your reflexes, and it looked like it had done its job in preparing you for tomorrow.
Fearing for your life at this point, you jump behind a boulder, duck your head, and hope to god Starlight wastes her magic on whatever the fuck she was doing. Starlight does stop after some time, but you didn’t notice as you continued to hide. Starlight has herself quite a giggle as she slowly lands to the ground and heads over to the boulder to tell you the good news.
To her, and hopefully to you, you did well enough to dodge her randomly shot blasts to consider it a job well done.
You fucked up, goddammit! You were the one who asked for her to go all out, but you didn’t fucking expect her to fucking toss a million death orbs. You thought it was just gonna be lasers and simple projectiles, but she became a fucking shmup boss!
“Anon…”
But you were intact. How? Even you don’t know. All you knew was that you somehow dodged ALL of her attacks up until you ducked behind this boulder.
“Anon, hey!”
Fucking dammit, how could you hide here anyway? You were the fucking Hero Colt! You shouldn’t have gotten scared at all. You have more resolve than that! Fuck that noise! You were going to step back out there and try challenging Starlight again!
You turn around and take one step forward, only to come face to face with Starlight herself. You squeal, jump on top of the rock, and enter a battle pose “Came to finish me off, huh?! Well, I’m ready for you this time!”
Starlight’s face twisted into aggravated astonishment “Really? Anon, get down here, I’m not going to try to hurt you.”
“...Oh” Well, ok then. You slide down the boulder and look to Starlight with an embarrassed look “Erm, look...I know I hid like a wuss...but erm...come on!” You let out, trying to sound justified in your feelings “You were tossing danmaku at me like it was nopony’s business!”
“Danmaku? Is that another human term?” Starlight asks, confused as to what you mean.
“Yeah, it means ‘bullet hell’. Basically a ton of projectiles being tossed out that are super hard to dodge.” You explain “I mean, it really was super hard...I’m surprised I didn’t get blown up. Sheesh…”
Starlight hesitates to add to that for a moment as she gets a rather underhanded idea to make sure you wouldn’t get the confidence to try her at her best again. “...Oh yeah, it was the most powerful spell I had too. If any of those orbs touched you? Pffssst! Gone, finished, turned to dust! BAM! Just like that.” Starlight stomped her right hoof to emphasize her point.
Wait...WHAT?! SHE WAS SERIOUS ABOUT THAT INCINERATION SHIT?! “What?! You mean if I got touched once, I w-” But she cuts off your words to finalize the point herself.
“...Would have been utterly destroyed into nothingness? Totally. But…” She puts her hoof on your shoulder as she gives you a suddenly sweet smile “You managed to dodge every single orb. Sure you hid, but you were really moving it out there before you did. I was really impressed.”
Wait...so yeah, you were still alive. And you were diving and juking and all that against the orbs until you felt you were overwhelmed. That meant your reflexes were pretty fucking top tier! “YES! I KNEW I WAS THE BEST!” You then looked to Starlight with confidence borderlining arrogance “Alright, Starlight, let’s do it again! This time, I want you to, like, shoot lasers at me! I need something faster!”
Starlight was perplexed. She expected you to back down to safer magic, not to ramp it up. She thought you fearing her spell was the tipping point in getting you to see reason. “Anon, you nearly blew up! And you want to make it worse on yourself?!”
“I mean, now that I know I have godlike reflexes, yeah! I need to make sure I’m really good to go here! Two lives depend on it! So come on already!” You run ahead of Starlight, about twenty yards, and beat your chest with your right hoof “BRING IT ON! YOU AIN’T GOT NOTHIN ON THIS!” You then turn around and smack your butt at her.
All she wanted was for you to understand.
All she wanted was for you to realize there are limits, and that you dodging that one spell was already impressive.
She just needed you to understand there was no reason to risk your life over something that didn’t require such a dire sacrifice.
She just wanted to be of help to her good friend, that’s all. She wanted to make you happy, which would have made everyone you knew happy, which would have made her happy.
But now she was pissed at your arrogance, and your obsessive attitude. She knew you had gotten better since Chrysalis, that you picked your battles more wisely, and that while you still obsessed over your friends, such as Scootaloo, you did manage to have more control. But holy crap, did it go all out the window the moment you became cocky as fuck.
Starlight gave you a dark glare as her horn began to glow “So, you want something fast and hard, right Anon?”
You nod “I do, and I’m not gonna hide this time! Everypony is going to see how truly great I am at a physical level!” This rush, this feeling! Maybe it was because of the audience you were going to have. Because proving your physical prowess? It felt more fulfilling than you initially realized. You thought back to the bowling game… That one last roll. This exam would be the end to that perfect game.
“THEN TAKE THIS!” Starlight suddenly fired a straight laser beam right at you with pure raw anger.
...Shit…
You quickly dive to the right as the laser zips past you along the ground, creating a geyser of raw magical energy that surges through the dirt. Ok...Maybe you should have listened to Starlight. “Uh, Starlight? I think SHIT!” You jump forward when you noticed Starlight had teleported above you and shot her laser directly downwards towards you. You could only look on as it just kept going through the ground, cutting through it like butter...Up until it started to come towards you. Starlight was hovering towards you with the laser closing in like a fucking satellite beam. “STARLIGHT, WAIT!”
But she wasn’t listening. “WHAT’S WRONG, ANON!? TOO HOT TO HANDLE?! HUH!” She shouted in rage as she began to chase you down with her laser. You were running for dear fucking life, but she was unrelenting with her pursuit of you. This was now no longer reflex training, this was an endurance test. One in which failure meant imminent death should you tire out and slow down.
“STARLIGHT! I KNOW YOU’RE MAD! I DON’T KNOW WHY! BUT COME ON! I MEAN, WE CAN GO KITE FLYING! THAT’S CALMING! YOU WANNA FLY A KITE?!” Oh please! Let that work!
“SURE! AFTER I USE YOUR BONES TO FINISH FIXING THAT COFFEE MAKING MACHINE! WHAT WAS THAT QUOTE YOU TOLD ME ONCE?! SWIGGITY SWOOTY! I’M COMING FOR YOUR BOOTY!” She said with dark laughter as she started to close in
You started to cry as your endurance waned “OH GOD! STARLIGHT! YOU DIDN’T EVEN USE IT RIGHT! GOD, I’M GONNA DIE! I’M GONNNAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
And so, you failed to elude the laser and got hit on the backside. But it didn’t hurt, it didn’t even sting. Instead, you found yourself in helpless laughter as it tickled along your backside. ‘HAAHAHWHATSTHEHAHAHA?!STHAHAHAP!”
Starlight landed beside you, and looked over you with victory in her heart as she kept her laser on you. She finally had you, and she wouldn’t stop until you ended your crusade. “Ok, but only after you agree to stop. I think we’ve had enough training today, and you did good enough for tomorrow.”
“OHOHOHOK! HOHOHOK! JUSTHAHAHAHA! STHAHAHAP!” You screamed in ticklish laughter from the ministrations of the merciless laser. You had to get it to stop, it was fucking torture!
“Yooouuu suuuuureee” Starlight said in a sing song way, sweeping the laser side to side along your belly as you rolled about.
“YEYSSAHAHAHAHAHAPLEEEASEHEHAHAHA” You guffawed
Starlight finally ended her magical tickle assault as she nodded to herself with satisfaction. “Good, because it’s getting late anyway and I’m hungry.”
You had to lay there as you slowly stopped giggling. God fucking dammit, she got you good. That laser wasn’t going to kill you at all, it just tickled. Wait, so did that also mean…
You sprung up and pointed an accusing hoof at Starlight “You went easy on me the whole time!”
“What?!” Starlight was actually offended by that. Not so much to your accusation, but rather the fact that you still seemed on this whole 'BEST' sthick. “I did not! That orb attack really was a very powerful spell! How many unicorns do you know that can pelt that many orbs! Hmm?!”
“Yeah, but…” You relented for a moment, pulling your hoof back. But wait, that sounded like there was some implication that it wouldn’t incinerate you! With that in mind, you point your hoof again. “But you lied to me! I wouldn’t have died from those orbs at all!”
“W-well...no” Now Starlight began to back off. But then she had in mind that you were being an idiot, and so she called her courage back to finally set things straight. “But I had to tell you that! The way you wanted to train was suicide!”
“No!” You plopped on your butt as you crossed your forelegs, acting as if you knew it’d be safe “I know how this all works. Like I’ve told you before; In my world, this was a TV show. And it is pretty 'TV Y' around here, that means child friendly by the way. Sure, you’re strong, but I think none of your magic really would have hurt me that much. The worst it would have done is sent me flying some, thats all. And a tickling laser? Now that’s just insulting, I’m not a little kid you know! I mean...sorta? But not really! Ahrm…” You calmed down as you cleared your throat “Case in point, your magic isn’t really lethal, and you had no reason to go easy on me.”
Starlight groaned at you as she put her hoof to her face “Ugggghh! Anon, one! That orb spell worked as intended! It was a high level spell that is, for a fact, ridiculously hard to dodge and hard to cast too. And you dodged it! That should have been enough! And two!...Er….” Starlight suddenly looked sheepish as she tapped her hooves together “...That didn’t start as a tickling laser…”
Wut? “What? So what was it at the start then?”
“Yeeeeaaahhhh, I kinda got really angry, because you were being dumb, so I sort of focused all that anger...And...errr.” Starlight noticed she had chased you around in circles, so the original point of impact for when she first fired and when she fired from directly above was still closeby. “See that ditch? That was from when I first shot the laser, which you probably are right, you would have been blown back.” But then she points to the hole from firing the laser from above “But then there is this hole here. You would have been a doughnut if you got hit….Errr...So yeah, you kind of made me a little angry.” Starlight chuckled nervously “I mean, you did ask for it.”
Oh god…
Your ears droop downwards as you realize just how close to death you really were. “Ahaha...ha” You weakly chuckle “Yeah...Let’s call it a day. U-Ummm...You wanna get some coffee?”
“Y-yeah..” Starlight said, a little scared of her own power. But when she saw how scared you were, she softened up and got worried for your well being “Anon, are you alright? I’m really sorry for losing my cool back there.”
“I-I’m fine…It’s ok” And just the same, you realized you were being an overbearing asshole in not listening to Starlight’s warnings “Starlight...I’m sorry for being an absolute shitbag.”
“I don’t know what means...But I assume you mean a jerk, and yeah, It’s alright. It’s ok…” Starlight sighed as she walked closer to you, and let you lean to her side. That really escalated quickly, and you just wanted some comfort, so you took that as an invitation to nuzzle your head into her.
And so you both returned back to the house as the sun began to set. There was still coffee in the pot from when the machine was first turned on. You both took a cup of coffee, sat at two different chairs facing in front of each other, and just sat there, drinking. The air was tense, the room was silent, it was really eerie.
Then, you finally said something. “Starlight.”
Starlight looks back at you with an expressionless stare “Yeah?”
“I don’t really wanna say this, because I know it’s insulting, but…” You hold your cup of coffee up towards her “This coffee is really bad.”
Starlight nods as she puts her cup down “I know, Trixie really didn’t do a good job at all.”
“Yeah…” You almost instinctively wipe your tongue with your hoof “It tastes like ass…”
Starlight sits there, ever silent without a response for a moment. Then suddenly, she points at you with a smile “I KNOW THAT ONE! IT MEANS BUTT!”
HOLY FUCK! SHE REMEMBERED! “FUCK YEAH! THAT’S AWESOME, STARLIGHT!”
“Yeah!...I still keep forgetting what 'fuck' is. I don’t even think you’ve explained it to me. The last time you mentioned it, you asked me if I had fucked Trixie yet. I mean, maybe? You would know, it’s your word.” Starlight was so damn confused now.
It made you laugh, it made you laugh that she said fucking 'maybe'. All that dread and distance you felt towards her just washed away as you went up and hugged her in a giggly yet sad haze. Sad because...Well, that was pretty fucking scary.
Starlight was stunned that you came to hug her at first. But then she felt relieved. She knew, that thanks to this hug, that everything between you and her was ok now. And it happened over something so silly. The word “Fuck”, whatever that meant.
She then realized, at least to herself, what “Fuck” meant. “Anon! I figured it out!” She said in giddy excitement.
Hmm? You look up at her, curious. To you, you thought she meant about the current situation, which you felt needed no figuring out. It was just natural friendship after all.
But then she said it. “You and me, we fucked! We fucked hard! Sure it was rocky with what happened, but then we fucked it out! We just needed a moment to fuck to get it all sorted. It’s a good thing too, I was scared we lost our friendship for a moment. But thanks to a good fucking, we worked it out!”
Oh god, that wasn’t even funny to you. You were just looking at her like you were horrified.
“What? What’s wrong? I got it right, didn’t I? Fuck means to understand each other, or something close to that, right?” She really was confused, because that was dead wrong.
“Er, Starlight. You’re one of my best friends and one of the few who know the secret to my true age. So, I’m just gonna say what it is, and hope it doesn’t break your head.” Oh boy, here we go.
“What is it? It can’t be that bad.” Starlight was curious, she couldn’t understand how she could have gotten it so wrong.
“Ahrm, while the word itself could be used to put an EMPHASIS on something. It also means, and this was context you technically used it for, as was when I mentioned Trixie...Yeah, erm..How to put this...It means, since I’m a guy, putting my peepee into your, you being a girl, pee pee hole....Multiple times” You look to Starlight with an extremely meek smile.
Starlight just freezes in place as her right eye twitches, then finally, with an exclamation that you swear could be heard by god himself, she lets out a mighty “WHAT?!”
She knew what THAT was, she just didn't know that's what the word "fuck" meant. And she was mortified on how you could say a word so freely.
Man, with that kind of reaction, you doubted Starlight could get used to any human words that were lewd or insulting. Starlight herself asked you why humans seemed so vile and gross with their wordplay. You explained to her it was just how humans were, and not all human words were like that. You tried explaining a few other words, but it didn’t take. Hell, she thought the word “ass” was insulting to donkeys. But then, there was something else.
“I mean, take the word ‘bitch’. It’s used to insult somepony, but all it means is female dog. It’s like, a quick version of an insult.” You knew it was a little worse than that, but that was the safest explanation you could give without her having a negative reaction. “It’s also commonly used in the phrase ‘Son of a bitch’...And that’s about it. Oh! Wait! It can also mean something is really hard to do.” You explain
“Female dog? And it can mean that too, huh? That doesn’t seem so bad. I mean, definitely better than ‘fuck’...egh. Anyway, that’s definitely the nicest human word out of the ones you told me. I have to say, Anon, humans do seem really extreme. Even their words are pretty intense. Even the meanest ponies wouldn’t go saying words like that if they knew those were the meanings. I don’t even get the word ‘cunt’. I mean…” Starlight blushed in embarrassment just mentioning the word “it’s just a natural part of a mare. I just don’t see how that’s an insult. Humans are weird…” Starlight takes a moment to calm herself from her embarrassment and leans on her side as she looks out the window “...And yet, I admit, kind of fascinating too. Making flying machines out of metal? That move at mach speeds? If you weren’t my friend, I’d call you a liar for sure. Although…” Starlight takes a look at the horn hanging from your neck, she suddenly had this wanting and near hungry look “If you could whip up a blueprint, I wouldn’t mind looking it over myself. That kind of speed, I think, would be beneficial to everypony in Equestria.”
The way she was looking at you, you could tell she just wanted to see it for herself. Despite her reaction to human words, Starlight did seem to have an attraction to human tech. To her, it was the equivalent to high level magic in the form of machinery and technology.The taser was her first ever experience with human tech, and while she was fascinated with it, she didn’t let herself become overwhelmed by the want to see even more of what humans had to offer, but she always kept a secret desire for more of their technological designs, and therefore would ask about something on the here and there.
This was the first time she actually asked for a blueprint though, so it was obvious her curiousness towards human tick was definitely faltering. “Sure, but I kind of used my charges for the day, so you’ll have to wait when I can cast a spell to make one appear. Why are you suddenly so interested, anyway?”
“I admit, from some of the stuff you told me about, like computers,automobiles, and satellites. Airplanes are something that sounds like it requires more of an understanding of magic rather than technological skill. There’s no magic I can think of that can make a construct meant to hold that many ponies and transport them long distances at super speeds.” Starlight explains.
But that did confuse you on something “How are computers not more magical than airplanes?” To you, you always felt that would have been the thing to grab her attention.
“Because, while it sounds impressive, management of files and folders can still be done physically. Long distance communication is also possible through various means. And then you mentioned games, which I think the way you described Discord’s use of magic to create an entire world to play in ‘Ogres And Oubliettes’ already means we outclass that too. So eh...But airplanes? Now that really sounds like something” Starlight explains, and while sounding ignorant to you, did give her a pretty strong point on the most basic of levels.
You just shrug “I guess, but computers are still really cool and makes a lot of what you mentioned pretty convenient. But whatever, you want plane schematics? I can make that happen. But…” You give her a cocky little smirk “You gotta do something for me”
Starlight suddenly feels uncomfortable as she looks back at you “And that is?”
“Oh, not much” You get up from your seat and walk over to her, looking up at her as you wiggle your eyebrows with cool sensual arrogance. “I just want to see if you can handle a word even worse than ‘Fuck’ “
“There’s a word worse than that? I don’t believe it. That word alone is one of the most disgusting words I’ve ever heard, how can it get any worse?” Starlight asks, fearing that may have been a question she shouldn’t have asked at all.
You lean your head up closer to hers “Is that a deal then?” Oh baby, you really wanted to see how this was gonna go.
“...Anon…” Starlight looks left and right, then out the window to make sure Trixie nor any other pony was nearby “...You can really get me those blueprints?”
You nod.
“Ok…” Starlight takes a moment to prepare herself. She takes a few calm breaths and sits down at the ready “I’m ready now, I won’t let myself be surprised this time.”
“We’ll see, because Starlight…” You lean in a little closer “The word is ‘Motherfucker’...And it’s exactly as it implies, mostly used as an insWAHHHH!”
You had little time to actually explain the word, as when it hit Starlight’s ears, her eyes went wide as she looked at you with an intense stare as she screamed. And this scream? Holy shit, the entire house shook, causing pictures on the wall to fall, and glasses to tip over. “WHHHHAAATTT?!”
Well, you got your reaction. While her initial scream spooked you, you started to laugh hard when you saw from her face how utterly bewildered she was. Even her mane came apart and flowed downward from her surprise, as if hearing the word caused her mane to die and go limp.
But Starlight wasn’t laughing. She rose up from her seat and began yelling at you from her surprise. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THAT’S A WORD!? ANON, THAT’S THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I EVER HEARD! I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL! HOLY SHI-...” Starlight suddenly plopped down on her butt as she looked straight ahead, hoof to cheek, surprised at herself “...Oh my gosh...I’m yelling human words now…That’s not good…”
Holy fuck! Now that’s hilarious! You just kick and sputter in wild laughter, twitching and taking deep breaths when needed.
“Ha ha...Very funny…” Starlight used her magic to toss a pillow at you while she groaned, annoyed with both you and herself “Humans are sick, sick creatures, I swear.”
You do your best to hold in your chuckles as you poke your head out from the pillows. “Hehe, come on, Starlight. It’s just how we are.” You hop out of the pillows and give her a gentle hug “Don’t be uptight, nopony is forcing you to use those words.”
“I know, it’s just surprising to hear them at all...Especially coming from me.” Starlight lowers herself to the ground, placing her chin on the floor as she looks ahead, eyelids halfway down, and with a stoic look. “I couldn’t imagine living there...Or worse, being from there. I could only imagine a human version of me being a crazy loon who would...ergh...Massacre others just to make examples of them.”
“Aww, come on, Starlight. Don’t get depressing now.” You hop up on her back, rest your head on hers, and reach down with your hoof to boop her nose “You’re Starlight FUCKING Glimmer, the most powerful Unicorn I’ve ever seen! Plus you’re fun, understanding, smart, kind... Hell, I’m super glad to be your friend.”
“Heh, so is Trixie...” Starlight lets out a small chuckle “And everypony else in this town.”
There’s a small amount of silence for a moment. You decide to cuddle your head onto hers, making her feel loved enough for her to use her magic to give you the feeling of gentle and loving headscratching on your noggin’.
“Well, it’s getting late. Trixie is gonna be back soon and she’s gonna spend half the night telling me how close she is to being elected mayor.” Starlight says as she slowly stands, letting you hop off without hurting yourself.
“Yeah…” Actually, Fluttershy was going to be going soon. It’d be a good idea to see her before she left. “I gotta go see my Aunt anyway. Gonna be the last time I see her for a little bit.”
“Oh yeah, that Breezies thing. She’s gonna be back for your...Fake...Wedding...thing, right?” Starlight asks.
“She said she’d be back before the end of the wee...Oh man, I didn’t even think of that at all when talking with her! She didn’t mention it at all either. She probably didn’t want me to worry about it since I didn’t seem to be sweating it...Damn...I really do want her to be there, same with Discord.” Fuck, now you felt sad, you didn’t consider the possibility that she might not be back in time.
“I’m sure she’ll do her best to get back. Besides, you and Discord have crazy magic at your side. Why can’t one of you teleport her to where she needs to be, and then teleport her back when she’s done? That already saves a day.” Starlight suggests.
“...Woah…” You hadn’t thought of that “That can work. I’ll actually see if Discord is up for that...Well, he totally will be.” You begin to smile about the idea “He hates it when Fluttershy is away for too long.”
“There you go, problem solved.” Starlight uses her magic to summon forth a water ball made of the surrounding moisture and plops it onto the ground. “Just make sure it’s ok with her too. She’ll probably go for it, but you still need to respect her decision on it.”
“I will…” You say as you take out your map “Thanks Starlight, for the idea and the training.”
“It’s no problem. You take care, alright? And good luck with that exam tomorrow. And don’t forget the blueprints for when you visit again!” Starlight tells you with a genuine smile.
“I got it...So, before I go.” You give Starlight a sultry smirk “Since Trixie does live with you...Do you wanna know how two mares fuck?”
Starlight’s right eye suddenly bugs out and tremors as her horn explodes in magical light. “ANON!”
You let out a nervous chuckle “Ok...Gotta go!” Damn man, she was really sensitive about that word. Still funny though. But not funny enough to stick around for what could possibly be a asswhuppin’ on her behalf.
You fell onto your bed after falling through the portal, letting the map fall on your chest as you let out a heavy breath of relief. “Wow, she’s really touchy about that word. Maybe she really did want to fuck Trixie and was too embarrassed to admit it… Hot” You hopped off your bed and put away your map as you approached your portal door.
“Ahh, Anon! There you are!” You suddenly hear a voice from behind you. You look back to see Discord, dressed up in a shirt with your face on it, wearing a blue cap with the word “ANON”.
There you were? What about him? He had disappeared after the dragon attacked to go brag about you. “Yeah, I was busy. What about you, Discord? What’s with you bragging about me all of a sudden?” You really did have to wonder about that. Was it really to boost his own rep and ego?
“Well, I had two reasons for that. But I assume you already know one of them” Discord said as he walked over to your bed and plopped himself on it, resting his head on his arms as he looked back at you with his usual arrogant grin.
“Considering you didn’t do shit to help me, I don’t think you really deserve to be acknowledged at all for something I did.” He really didn’t, and then there was that thing with Mrs.Rich “And then there’s the fact that something is going on with my training tomorrow. Considering Mrs.Rich is involved, whatever that something is isn’t good for either me or Scootaloo.” And you slowly began to put it in perspective for yourself that the situation within itself is not good for you at all. “Discord, I know you don’t realize it, but you really screwed things up for me tomorrow.” And upon that thought, you also realized… “I’m actually upset at you.”
“Pffft! What?! I bet you didn’t even put any real thought into any of that until you saw me just now.” Discord scoffed, poofed behind you, and used the digits of his paws and talons to pull your mouth into a smile. “Well, if that’s the case, the second thing I have to tell you will be sure to brighten your evening!”
You swat his arms away as you look back at him, annoyed. “Yeah? And what’s that?”
Discord reached into his cap and pulled out a small gift box, a simple white box held together by red ribbon, and held it towards you. “Anon, you may not realize this, even after all this time, but with our friendship and our whole family thing, I have come to be proud of you whenever you pull of feats of valor, or make Fluttershy happy, or generally do something that makes us look good in general. But this? This was different. This gift isn’t even for defeating the dragon, no, it’s for your near perfect game of bowling. I admit, I did take in as much glory as I could for you defeating the dragon. But the way you handled the ball, the way you managed to surpass my own brilliant form of rolling the ball, without even the use of your horn might I add! That deserves a gift. I’m proud of you Anon, for your skill, for making Fluttershy happy, and for being my friend. So this is for you.”
You just raised an eyebrow at him “Yeah, no, that’s a trap”
Discord gave you a scowl, as if he was actually insulted, while still continuing to hold out the box “Don’t make me take this back, Anon. On this rare occasion, my word holds true.”
Ouch, the way he was looking at you, he actually looked really insulted. But you knew better, he was very good at faking his emotions if he really wanted to. “Sorry… Alright, let me see what this is” You took the gift box, acting apologetic as you slowly and cautiously removed the ribbon, and then lifted the box. You were prepared to throw it back at him at the slightest sign of it being a bomb. But upon taking a look, you saw not a bomb, but some sort of glowing orb. “What is that thing?”
“Anon…” Discord sighs, leans down, and puts his paw on your shoulder as he looks to you with a gentle and parental look. “Before I tell you, I really want you to know this. I truly, with all my heart, am proud of you. I’m afraid I haven’t been truly honest with you on that, I mean, how could I?” Discord lets out a weak chuckle as he says that “Our friendship isn’t of the normal sort, it lives and breaths chaos. But, for this moment, I must treat it as if I truly was your father. Now then, the true reason I’m proud of you, aside from the things I said, is the fact that you had saved Fluttershy’s life while I was away.”
Away? He meant during the Storm King’s invasion. But… That had happened some time ago, why does he now suddenly care so much? “I mean, I couldn’t let her get hurt, Discord. I couldn’t let anypony get hurt. Besides, it was a team effort too. And even then, it happened some time ago. I don’t want to sound like an ingrate or anything, but...Why now?”
“Hmmm…” Discord let’s out a tired sigh. “I suppose talking to Fluttershy while you were away has something to do with that. In truth, she already let me know that my bragging was rather obstructive when it came to your life, but it really was hard to resist letting everypony know how great my fake son is.” Discord shrugged “But… she let me know that it’s not about the glory, the renown, or anything like that. It really is about being proud of you, for all the good you have done. She had mentioned things she was proud of you for, from that Starlight pony, to being a major force of bringing down the Storm King. It made me think of what could have happened to Equestria, to you, and to Fluttershy during my time away. And it also made me realize that I truly hadn’t done enough for you in comparison for what you’ve done for me, Fluttershy… And I guess everypony else. Please, Anon, accept the gift. It’d make me happy to know that you accept it without any suspicion.” He sounded so genuine, so normal, so caring. This was a rarity, even for him. His voice shook whenever it mentioned Fluttershy, his fear of losing her causing him to shiver.
Alright...You’d do it. You reach for the orb and give it a tap with your hoof. The orb suddenly floats up in a brilliant white light, forcing you to shield your eyes with your leg. “Discord! What’s going on?!”
Discord rose up, arms outstretched as he announced the spectacle of the orb like a grand event. “Anon! Witness the power of this orb as it flows within you! Witness, feel, and become even greater than you are now!”
“What?! What do you mean by...OH SHIT!” You started to float up as the orb’s light began to envelope you. You tried kicking your legs, but at this point, it was no use “DISCORD! GODDAMMIT! FUUUUUCCCKKK!” Was all you could say as the orb’s brilliance silenced all sound, sight, and feeling.
You didn’t know where you were, when you were, or even if you still existed. All you knew was a form of white darkness.
“Anon…” You suddenly hear a voice.
“Anon…”
“It’s me, Discord. I apologize for the theatrics, but the orb, and indeed, this void of nothingness were merely a distraction. Now, don’t fret, what I had told you before is true. I just needed some actual time to properly create the gift I wanted to give you. You’ve been here for about an hour. Still plenty of time to talk to Fluttershy before she goes, so you needn’t worry about that. As for your actual gift, you’ll be happy to know that your horn has received an upgrade once again. Now, I’m afraid it’s still two charges like before, but this gift I have to give you should be more than adequate enough to match my feelings of pride for you. First, I have taken the map’s ability to take you home, and instead placed it into your horn. After much thought, it seemed more practical to give you the ability to return home at your will rather than pulling out a piece of parchment every time. Now, you still will need the use of water to make said portal, but still, it’s much better than having to rely on an item you may very well lose. The map still has its other function, so you don’t need to worry about that either.”
“Now then, on to the second and most important addition to your horn. While I still ultimately feel that giving you too much chaos power could lead to Equestria’s imminent destruction, having no power at all after your initial two charges has led to some bad times for you in the past. So now, even without a charge, the horn will be able to use the basic unicorn ability of telekinesis, along with the power to generate a decently strong barrier. With this little boost to your horn, you should be more capable of handling yourself, especially when mixed with the training you have received from Rainbow Dash. I love you, Anon, as my friend and my son. This is my gift to you, and I hope you use it both responsibly… And chaotically. Now, when you are done with your visit with Fluttershy, please return home, I’ve arranged a meeting with Mr.Rich. Nothing fancy, I just happened to be interested in his wife’s little project she hired over fifty workers for. Now then, it’s time for me to release you from this void.” Discord, his voice, you swear he nearly cracked with sadness during his speech to you.
As if waking up from a dream, the white around you began to dissipate as your consciousness began to return. An upgrade to your horn? You could now use very basic unicorn magic, even without your charges? That was actually pretty cool of him to do. And the portal thing? Yeah, after what happened with your adventure with Daring Do, that was definitely for the best. Discord was actually truthful for once. He cared that much. You knew he did, he’s shown it before, but to hear it all like that… What a guy, he truly was the best.
“Oh, and Anon, watch your head. You still happen to be floating.”
Wut?
And before you could even react, your vision returns to the confines of your room. And a split second after, the floor itself came zooming into your face, causing a really loud thud. Or in truth, you ended up falling down and smashing your face onto the hard ground below you.
You just groaned as you continued to look onto the hard, cold floor. “I’ll kill him...I fucking swear…”
You slowly stand up as you brush off both your mane and your childish annoyance at Discord. He just gave you an awesome sounding gift, so you could overlook his little trick this time.
But was he being truthful? Or was it really just a lie, with the punchline being yet another slam on your head. You hold up your horn, and eye it closely. “Hm, looks the same…” Then again, you doubt he was going to make any visual changes while it was off your forehead. “In that case…” You plop the horn on your head. But as usual, when it’s out of charges, it keeps it’s Sombra form, complete with the “Dark Magic” effect. And while you usually would have called it a trick right there and then, you decided to give Discord the benefit of the doubt. “Ok, Discord, let’s see if this works…”
You look around, and spot the drawers of your dresser. Those would be a great way to test the horn. You aim your horn at them, and try to focus on opening them all. You remember that you wasted a charge on telekinesis before, on Snips and Snails. So, in theory, you should be able to get this if the rules of the horn still applies to chaos and not actual unicorn magic.
The drawers, one by one, began to glow a sickly green. Woah, it was...It was actually working! You started to feel excited as drawers started to open and close at the mere will of thought. You began to smile joyfully as you then started to open and close them to a latin beat you had in your head. Holy shit, This was incredible! While you were creating the beat, you focused on your blanket, and brought it towards you in a way that made it compress and stretch into the shape of a woman’s torso. You then began to dance with it as the beat played on. “Ratata! Rambaba! Ariba! Ari-..Wait…” Suddenly the drawers stop and the blanket drops and folds onto the ground when you realize something. “I can manipulate reality twice a day, so why is this so great? God, I must have looked like a childish idiot.”
You take the horn off your forehead and head towards the portal door. You open it to Fluttershy’s cottage and step through it, coming face to face with her front door once more. Looking at it, and then up at the moonlit night, you realized that showing it off to Fluttershy would probably make her smile. Yeah! She probably would find it cute! That’d be a great way to open up your visit. So you put the horn back on your head, stand tall, and knock on the door. “Aunt Fluttershy! Are you there? It’s me, Anon!”
Luckily for you, it seemed she was still up. It wasn’t that late, but she did have somewhere to be tomorrow. “Anon? Oh! Let me get the door for you!” She said as she rushed to let you in. As the door began to open, Fluttershy’s adorably smiling face was waiting to greet you. “Good evening, Anon. I’m actually so so...so…so...so...so” She suddenly looked white in the face as she gazed at you.
“Aunt FlutterAGH!” Suddenly, you receive a face full of wooden door as she slams it shut on you, knocking you flat on your ass. “Ow! What in the…” As you rub your forehead, you notice the dark aura emanating over you. Right, she rarely ever saw you with the horn on without charges, perhaps she never really has, you couldn’t remember. But it did make sense that she would have been skittish to see you like that. No need to be upset, Anon, it's gonna be ok. You get up to knock on the door to let Fluttershy know what’s up, but she had already opened it before you could approach. It seems she had already realized what she had done nearly as soon as she had done it.
She was looking down at you with apologetic eyes. “Anon...I’m so so so so sorry, I didn’t realize you were wearing your horn.” She steps out, cautious that you could be angry or upset, and sits just outside the door, her voice becoming more sad and squeaky. “A-are you alright?” She really did feel terrible. She had heard how loud the thud of the door was against your hard head, and the sound itself was enough to make her regret her rash decision.
How could you be mad at an adorable face like that? You do a cute flip, give her an adorable grin, and trot and skip over to her with pride. “Didn’t even feel it, Aunt Fluttershy. And even if I did, it doesn’t matter, I know it was a mistake.” You then nuzzle your head under hers, and embrace her in a hug. “So don’t cry, ok?”
“Anon…” She holds in her tears, smiling warmly as she hugged you close. After the hug, she looked to you, retaining that smile as she gave your nose a peck. “There, just in case you needed a fix for your booboo”
You giggle at that, and waggle your tail as you look to her with your classic adorable grin. “Awww, Aunt Fluttershy, you know I’m a lot tougher than that now. Erm…” You look behind her. Through the threshold of the door, you could see she had all her bags in order and ready to be moved out. It was quite a bit to carry, so she obviously was going to have help to move them when she was ready. But it still made you worry, you look back to Fluttershy with a growing frown. “Ummm, Aunt Fluttershy, I know I forgot to ask, but are you going to be at my wedding thing next week? I know you’re gonna be busy with that breezie thing, and you know I won’t hold it against you if you do miss it. But, you know...I was just kind of wondering if you were gonna be there anyway.”
Fluttershy’s expression became lost as she looked to the side, she held her breath for a moment as she thought of what to say to you. “Hmmm… Anon, I know you won’t hold it against me. But I really do want to be there. To see you so happy with your little marefriend. I want to be able to have a glimpse to what your beautiful future will be like. And as your Aunt, it is my duty to be there.” She then let out a lamented sigh “...Just like it’s my duty to help settle this dispute.”
“Aunt Fluttershy, come on!” You look at her with a cheerful smile “Don’t get upset! If you miss it, you miss it, it’s not that big a deal. What you’re doing is much more important! I’m not even saying that either, you know that I can understand that the safety and stability of Equestria is super important!” You give her nose a gentle boop, your smile becoming more warming as you gaze at her “Really, I already know you’re going to do your best to get back. I even have this feeling Dad would immediately teleport you to where you need to be the moment he got wind that you were done. Aunt Fluttershy, please don’t be sad about it, don’t wrack your brain over it. You need to focus so you can get your job done, ok?” You gave her the sunniest smile you could to try and cheer her up.
She holds you close, and nuzzles her head upon yours as she lets out a little giggle. “Oh, Anon, you’re so mature and understanding. I’m so glad to have you as a nephew! And, hehe” Fluttershy covered her mouth with her hoof as she had herself a silly little giggle “And your marefriend will be so glad to have you as a husband too! I just have this feeling you two will make quite the pair. But oh, look at me” Fluttershy felt a little embarrassed “Thinking far ahead like that. You’re both still very young, you won’t be really married for quite some time. You better not grow up to be a little heart breaker now.” Fluttershy, in her heart, had faith it’d work out. She had no fear, despite her thinking of it as a cute crush, that the love between you and Diamond would never die.
“Aww, come on, I won’t. I’m one loyal guy!” Perfectly loyal...Mostly...Kinda Mostly… Dammit, you suddenly felt like someone out there was judging you. Could anyone really blame you for finding a ton of these mares cute or sexy? Still, the thought of Diamond being a little older, oh baby, she’s gonna be so damn hot. But before you let your mind wander to such things, you hop away from Fluttershy and begin to jump about, excited. “Oh, Aunt Fluttershy! Do you want to see what my horn can do now? Dad gave it an upgrade!”
“Oh, he told me he was going to do that. Sure! I’d love to see what it can do now...erm...He didn’t exactly tell me what it’d be though.” She looks left and right nervously, then back to you “It’s not to make things explode, right?”
Heh, that’s adorable that’d she think that...Kinda scary too. “Nah, just watch this…” You look around, you needed something to move around with your….oh, you got it. “Where’s Angel, by the way?”
“Oh, erm, he’s up in the room, asleep. Why?” Fluttershy asked, curious.
This has been a long time coming. “Oh...nothing, just watch.” You focus, and you focus hard, trying to imagine Fluttershy’s bed and the little rat that was on it. You didn’t hate him, he could be cool, but it was time to even things up with him. You struggled with your thoughts, hoping that you nabbed something as you feel a pull on your forehead. Did you nab him?
Well, as you look up to see Fluttershy let out a quiet gasp, you felt you were on the right track. You look to where she was looking at, only to see a sleeping Angel, hovering just above the rug.
“Anon, couldn’t you already do something like this? And, please be careful with him, please” Fluttershy said, circling Angel, ready to catch him at a moment’s notice...Dammit, you really wanted to let him drop. Maybe next time.
“Yeah, but see how my eyes are still like Sombra’s?” You ask her
“Mhmm, doesn’t that mean your horn has no magic at all?”
“Well, besides the magic it uses to do this effect, yeah. But now? I can use telekinesis and a barrier whenever I want! I haven’t really tried a barrier yet, but I think it’d be as easy as telekinesis, speaking of which.” You sigh, and gently place Angel on the couch without disturbing him. Whatever, maybe it would have been too rude to drop the ass while he wasn’t expecting it. “There we go.”
“You have so much control, Anon.” Fluttershy tilts her head cheerfully, happy and proud of your use of magic. “Erm, actually, I’d like to see if you could use that barrier spell too. You know how I am, knowing you have ways to stay safe always puts me at ease.”
“I could try. Probably is just as easy as having a thought about it. In fact, let’s give it a real test drive. Toss something at me, Aunt Fluttershy”
Fluttershy shakes her head, she didn’t like the sounds of that. She didn’t want to risk hurting you, barrier or no. “Oh no no, let’s not do that. Just seeing it would be enough for me.”
“Well, how do we know how effective it is without testing it? C’mon, Aunt Fluttershy! It’ll be alright, promise!” You felt pretty confident, If you can do telekinesis, then the barrier spell was going to be a cinch!
“Mmmmm…” Fluttershy looked down, shifting her eyes left and right as she gave it some thought. She knew you were right. How could she even know if it’s a good enough spell to protect you without a proper test? “...Ok…” Fluttershy walks over to her sofa, and takes a single pillow while avoiding waking her rabbit. She walks back towards you, and grabs the pillow with her wings, looking oddly determined as she starts to swing it around like a mace “I’ll give it a good swing, Anon. If this barrier is really good enough to protect you, then you don’t need to worry, you won’t be hurt one bit!”
Was she serious? Did little ole Fluttershy even think she could hurt you with a fucking pillow? You had to hold in a giggle, you didn’t want to insult her. Alright then… “Ok, when you’re ready, Aunt Fluttershy” You bent down and wiggle your butt, aiming your horn directly at her and preparing your barrier spell.
“Ok...Here...I...GO!” Fluttershy swings to the side, bringing the pillow down for a sideways smash. It was actually quite impressive, given the speed it was going.
“BARRIER! ACTIVATE!” You let out, not only to sound like a cool badass, but to focus on creating the barrier. However, before the last second the pillow hits, you see that the barrier magic doesn’t actually create a barrier, but rather an impenetrable shield three times your size directly in front of you.
But that wasn’t where the pillow was coming from...
“GYAH! Om-...Oh wait...Never mind.” The pillow hits your side, but it really doesn’t do anything. HOLY SHIT! YOU DIDN’T END UP HITTING YOUR HEAD THIS TIME! THANK GOD FOR FLUTTERSHY NOT BEING THAT STRONG!
When Fluttershy swung, her mane ended up in front of her eyes, blocking her view. When she brushed it back, she looked around, then back down at you to see the illuminated barrier, green in color, in front of herself. “Oh, it worked. Yay!” She cheered, ignorant to the fact that she actually hit you.
“Yep, I dunno if it’s supposed to be that way though. Dad said it’d be a barrier, but it looks more like a shield. It’s kind of cool though, it’s big enough to guard my front.” You start looking left and right, causing the magical shield to turn with you “Oh...That’s cool, it follows my head movemenGAH!” Then you looked down, causing the shield to spark a bright green shine when it touched the floor, releasing a small blast that sends you backwards into the wall and causes the shield itself to deactivate.
“Anon!” Fluttershy rushes over to you, picks you up, brushes off your face with her feathers, and puts you down. “Are you alright?! Speak to me!”
Well, the miracle couldn’t last forever. What was that? Three in the last fucking hour? “I-I’m fine, erm… I guess I better master using the spell a little better, huh?”
Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief as she gave you a quick gentle hug “Anon…” She let you go, and gave you a long worried look “Maybe if you do practice it again, you should wear some padded clothing, and some padded leggings, and a helmet, and some strong horseshoes, and protective goggles…” She went on like this for a little while. If she wasn’t so loving, you’d find it annoying. But sheesh, you were better than that when it came to magic. Just don’t look directly down, easily remembered.
There wasn’t much to the visit after that. You and Fluttershy talked a little more about her trip, but it was pretty boring to actually hear about. Sure you cared, but damn, it was all cutesy politics bullshit. She also spoke to you about your training tomorrow. She wished you good luck, to stay safe, and do your best. You know, typical motherly stuff.
And with a yawn, and a promise to come back as soon as she can, and of course the usual hugs and goodbyes, Fluttershy wishes you a goodnight. She did have to be up soon after all, and you didn’t want to keep her up for too long.
You left Fluttershy’s cottage. You had hope in your heart that she’d be there for your “wedding”, it wouldn’t be show appropriate if someone like her missed it, after all.
You head to the stream by her little bridge, and look into the water. “Uhh, how am I supposed to do this? Same way?”
Well, what else could you do? So, with little hesitation, you give it a shot and jump into the water, trying to focus on a portal.
It doesn’t work.
You end up in the cold water, it’s icy chill piercing your coat, causing you to shiver and shudder. Even as you crawl out and shake yourself off, you couldn’t help but chatter your teeth due to how chilly you felt. “G-g-g-oddammit, w-w-what went...wrong?” You look back at the water, confused and bewildered “He s-s-said it worked the same, right?! S-s-s-so why? W-what..D-do I have to shoot a laser or s-s-...” And just as you say it, your horn fires a laser into the water, revealing a portal to your room.
Your right eye twitches as your coat begins to warm up, then produce steam “Oh...That was the answer...WHY COULDN’T YOU FUCKING TELL ME THAT, DISCORD! HOLY SHIT!” You were red with anger. Really?! Now it requires a fucking laser opening...thing?! Why not just keep it the same! Holy fuck! That’s so damn dumb! “I swear to fucking god! When I...I…” You look around, again, who were you talking to? “Yeah…” You shake your head at your own foolishness “Nobody there...Ugh, why am I angry anyway? Just like with the freaking shield, I should have tested for some differences before hopping in. Right, ok, got it! Just meet up with Discord...And hope things go ok”
Upon falling through the portal once more, you take a moment to calm yourself and warm up on your enchanted bed. Rubbing your body along your blanket like a cat. “Ok, ok...No reason to be upset. I just got these powers and I’m acting unreasonable about it. Don’t do that, Anon, don’t be a sore loser just because you haven’t mastered the mechanics yet.”
“Yes, agreed. If you got angry at me at all because you somehow couldn’t manage the most basic magic possible then I’d suggest a visit to our ‘favorite’ bug colony. I hear they provide excellent group therapy sessions for even the most pathetically natured being.” Discord said as he started to rise from your floor door, dressed in a red suit, a blue vest over it. He was speaking in a rather condescending tone as he looked to you with a smirk.
“Yeah, yeah…” You stand up on your bed and look at him, a little annoyed by his words and your own foolish shortcoming. “It was just tricky having to handle some low level spells, that’s all. I already have it down, so no problems. I mean, even then, you don’t have to be an ass.”
“Kind of hard not to when you’re audibly narrating your failure…” Discord continued act like a asshole, but then he took a few steps towards you, stopped, and gave you a warmer smile. “So then, with that out of the way, why don’t we go see Mr.Rich and find out what exactly lies in store for you tomorrow.” Discord holds his paw out towards you.
You just stare at it, then raise an eyebrow at him, looking at him silently as you grew suspicious of what he had in mind.
“Come on, Anon.” He wiggles his paw at you, getting annoyed at your inaction. “Just give me your hoof, I’m not going to rip it off or anything. How long have we known each other that you can’t just have faith in me?”
“I dunno, was there another draconequus who threw bowling balls at me this morning? Or caused this mess in the first place?” You say, in a way Discord actually finds quite mean.
“Well, that’s a little rude…” But then he chuckles to himself “Even if it was rather funny. Alright, Anon, you have my word. No tricks, no bowling balls, and no lies, on the honor of our friendship.”
You thought about making him promise on Fluttershy. But again, he gave you an upgrade on your horn, so pushing your distrust that far could honestly hurt his feelings if he was telling the truth. It’d probably be best to trust him, if only to use this moment as an example in the future should it be, in fact, a trick.
You place your hoof on his paw, causing you to immediately feel a pull on your mane. “W-what the?! Discord, you said-”
But he raises a single talon upwards to shush, closing his eyes as he then straightens his own vest. “I’m keeping my word, Anon. But this isn’t really a social visit, so I thought you should be dressed a little nicer for this little venture.”
“W-what, huh? Woah, I can feel my mane being pulled back, and getting kinda slick. And...Hey…” You raised your right hoof to see a blue sleeve. You now realized what was going on. Discord was slicking your mane back with his magic, and dressing you in an attire matching his, but with the colors swapped. You had to admit, you looked pretty good. In fact, it kind of reminded you of an ensemble you’d see in the south. “Oh, I get it. Isn’t it a little late to walk the walk though? Mr.Rich already likes us.”
“I know he does.” Discord clears his throat, and starts talking in a southern accent “But as a young southern Draconeequs, I feel that ah need to play the part proper. This is official business after all.”
“Heh, you sound pretty debonair like that actually. But I think I’m just gonna keep it straight. Why are we even seeing him again? It’s night, I’d think this could be saved til tomorrow.” You asked. To you, it did seem rather odd to still go to see him when it was this late in the day.
“Ahh, but then it’d be too late to see the fruits of his wife’s work. We’ve been invited for a sneak peek at the little ole’ obstacle course you’ll be runnin’ tomorrow.” Discord said as he opened the portal door to the town square. Odd, usually he’d just teleport you both to where you need to be. “Now let’s get a goin’”
Yeah, Spoiled Rich. Diamond had made it out to seem she was going to go all out to make you look good. Then why were you both even meeting with Mr.Rich? Why at the town square? And obstacle course? Geez, if it had to with her...Well, actually, you couldn’t think of what it’d be in terms of difficulty. All you knew is that the presentation would be top dollar. “Wait, so we’re not just going to teleport to him?”
“Nope. Where we need to go is outside of town, and in the direction he’s heading. And being the gentlecolt that I am, I’d rather, I say, I’d rather not spook the stallion none” Discord said as he nodded, and raised his head slightly to seem dignified as he slipped through the door.
Huh… Out of town, huh? How fucking big was this course? Well, you’d find out soon, you guess. “Hold on, I’m coming!” You say as you trot after Discord.
After you both pass through the portal door, you both wait by the fountain, awaiting Filthy’s arrival. “So...Discord, what do you think about the wedding. And be real with me, ok?”
Discord taps his nose, causing a white southern mustache and beard to grow out of his face. “Truthfully, Anon, I’m all for it. I normally abhor such things as I am not much of a believer of love. But that marefriend you have has such an attachment to you that if she had access to my home, she’d probably never leave. And that, to me, is quite precious.”
You let out a light groan “Because it stresses me out so much, right?”
Discord chortles a bit from that “A tad, Anon, a tad. But…” He walks up to you and pats your head “I can always see that you’re happy in her company...Most of the time. Your self control over your human side has been quite good when it comes to her, so it makes your actual relationship quite admirable. Besides, seeing Fluttershy happy at that wedding would be a definite plus...Ahrm…” Discord suddenly enters a depressive state as he looks ahead with blank eyes. “If she can actually attend, of course. And, if I may add one more thing… I really do think you’ll make an excellent husband to her, just as I think you’d make an excellent father…Should that ever happen anyway” A single tear came down his cheek as he thought about it. It was a normal tear too, as if the very thought made him purely happy.
...Discord…
You walk up to him, and actually nuzzle your head at his side “She’ll manage it, don’t worry. Relax, ok? Everything is gonna be ok.”
Discord reaches down, and gently scratches his talons behind your ear. It actually felt quite nice.
“Well, don’t that beat all…” Comes a voice from behind both of you.
Goddammit, you didn’t even need to hear the accent to understand who that was. You both turn around to see Filthy Rich, beside the fountain, giving a warm smile towards yours and Discord’s show of affection.
Discord immediately removed his talons from your head, and slapped his tail at your butt hard enough to send you careening into the fountain as he let out a nervous chuckle towards Mr.Rich. He didn’t want to be seen as compassionate, at least, not at the moment. Why he cared? Even you don’t know, he’s just fucking random like that. Something that wasn’t good for your head at all. “I don’t even know what you mean by that, good sir. Ah was just tryin’ to keep the colt from knocking his noggin on that there fountain. He thought he saw a parasprite he could keep as a pet. Silly little colt, that Anon.” Discord then looks at you and waggles his talon “Boy, how many times I got to tell you to not go goin’ after yer imagination.” He had resumed his southern impression.
...You’ll fucking kill him, you swear.
“Oh, well, there ain’t parasprites around for miles…” Filthy Rich says as he looks around, then whispers closely “And let’s hope it stays that way. Nasty little bugs, them Parasprites.”
“Indeed.” Discord says as he straightens his vest.
“Indeed indeed. In any case, since we’re all here, I suppose I should be taking you all to the colisseum my wife is having built opposite the train station.” Filthy Rich explains, but then he takes a look at Discord and gives him a polite nod “But before that, allow me to compliment you on your attire, Mr.Discord. It’s looking mighty fine, mighty fine indeed. And that includes Mr.Anon too. The perfect pair, you two”
“‘Course” Discord picks you up your still recovering form and sets you down next to him as he points out your mane “As you can see, Anon has become quite taken with the southern flair. As have I”
“Ugh…” If Filthy wasn’t present, you’d chew Discord out for his shitty little push. But you really did have business to attend to, especially with...Wait, did he say?... “Mr.Rich, did you say a colisseum ?”
He nodded “Mhmm, just on the other side of the train station. Bewildering, I know. But when you’ve got the money and the means, you can get anything done. Specially if you hire in bulk…” Suddenly he seemed a little nervous “C-course, it may have been a bit more than what I personally would have done. But it’s my wife’s little venture, and I wouldn’t want to upset her none, especially with my little Diamond wanting to see you, Mr.Anon, earn such prestige among the eyes of the elite.”
Oh god, you didn’t even need to ask him what that meant. Essentially, his wife used a shitton of cash to set up some ridiculous colisseum just to show you off to her fucking “friends”. The madmare really did it. It was actually scary to even know that she was capable of setting all of that up at such short notice. You wondered what it fucking looked like.
“Well, erm, so that’s what we’re going to check out, right?” You ask, curious.
“Yes indeedy. Captain Spitfire and our resident element of loyalty are overseeing the project personally as well. Though, part of me says they ain’t likin’ it too much.” Filthy says, as if he himself was truly unsure on his wife’s machinations.
“Why is that? I mean, I’d understand Spitfire. But wouldn’t Rainbow Dash find something like this pretty cool?” You asked, it seemed weird that Rainbow wouldn’t like any way to hog the spotlight.
“Perhaps, but it’s cuttin’ in on her sleep apparently. Not to mention the both of them have some reservations on the opening script.” Filthy explains as he starts leading the both of you towards the colisseum.
Opening script? “Uhhh…What do you mean by that?”
“Mr.Anon…” Filthy looks back at you with a grimace “Let’s just say that you being the star of the show is an understatement.”
Holy shit, Spoiled. What the fuck did you do?! “Ooook then...I guess I have to be really ready for tomorrow, huh?”
“For all our sakes, son, for all our sakes. The missus really did put her integrity on the line for this, so I politely ask that you give it your all tomorrow, Mr.Anon.” Mr.Rich’s voice was a little timid when he mentioned how integral it was for you to perform well.
You pump your chest with your hoof, and give him a reassuring smile “You can count on me, Mr.Rich! Not only for this, but in making your daughter really happy too. Speaking of which, what exactly is planned for the...er, ‘wedding’ “
“Ahh, well. We decided that the town hall will be the venue, and made sure to have some ponies stationed outside to keep away the princesses and the elements. Cancelled the wedding cake with well...erm, the Cakes.” Mr.Rich said, the last one catching you off guard.
“Seriously? I thought Mrs.Rich was friends with them, y’know, after that whole class thing” That was odd.
“You misunderstand, Mr.Anon. The wife feels their work is too perfect for our little wedding preview, can’t be havin’ anything that might not be able to be topped y’know. We also cancelled the reception, and made sure the guest list is small. It’ll be the most imperfect yet adequate fake wedding this side of the continent!” Mr.Rich seemed pretty confident about that. Heh, you thought there’d be some flair to the wedding in some parts, but it seemed he really was going for mediocre.
“Well, that just sounds so…boring.” Discord then hesitates on his next words, as if he was subtly admitting it was fine either way. “It’s a good thing I’ll be there to liven things up, if only by a little bit anyway.”
“Not about you, Dad.” You let out, still a little upset from when he bopped you.
“I know…” Discord says, with some infliction of regret in his tone. Did he realize you were a little mad at him? And did he actually care? Goddamnit. If he was, it meant he was being genuine with his words. It also meant that him bopping you was just his retarded “I’M CHAOTIC!” reflex “I just thought having me around would make things better for you, that’s all.”
You let out a soft sigh, and put aside your petty grudge one last time. “...You will, it wouldn’t be a wedding without you, y’know?”
“Heh…” Discord quickly regains his confidence and straightens his vest as he changes his accent once more “I say, son, you do know the things that you know.” Discord then looks to Mr.Rich as he gives you a head pat “Truly a colt to be admired, if I do say so myself.”
“Too right, Mr.Discord, too right.” Mr.Rich says with a hearty chuckle.
And then you saw it. Across from the train station was a fucking massive colosseum, golden in color, with lights around it more for the construction team than for the colosseum itself. It didn’t really look roman, more like some sort of crude baseball stadium, and that was just from the outside of it. You could see that some of it still needed to be filled in with concrete and such, as some of the scaffolding was still visible. There were tons of fucking workers moving in and out of the colosseum. They were getting tools, having breaks, and some of the pegasi ones were flying about to work on the upper areas of the colosseum. This was impressive as fuck given this was all in one day.
“And there it is. Not the best thing ever built, to be sure, but it’s good enough for tomorrow…” Mr.Rich then gulped, nervous about something “...How much is this gonna cost? I wonder…” He said silently to himself. For his wife, you, and his daughter, this was all worth it. But it still pained him so that his wife may have spent more than he realized to get this all done.
You were just wondering what it looked like from the inside.
There seemed to be many entrances leading to the interior of the colosseum, all of them placed a few feet next to each other as arches. Mr.Rich led you down one that led to a set of stairs and took you through a tunnel leading to the bleachers.
“So, erm...Is this free or do ponies have to pay to get inside?” You ask
Mr.Rich cringed harder than ever after hearing that “Y-yes...Not that I don’t mind none, generosity is somethin’ I’m known for...but... Oh mercy, I really hope this all goes well.” Mr.Rich then looks at you. He looked worried and even desperate. “Anon, I really am counting on you in aweing every pony who will be attending. Not just for the wife’s sake… But my own. Ah don’t want to say nothin to put on the pressure, but the entire family line’s reputation is tied to how well you do tomorrow.”
Christ, seriously? “Mr.Rich, calm down, it can’t be that dire. It’s not like any of the princesses are attending or anything, it can’t possibly be that bad.”
Mr.Rich gulped “...Try two princesses…”
Wut? “Two? Uhhhhh, you mean like. Maybe Twilight, since she’s already in town, and err…”
“Princess Celestia…” Mr.Rich said with a gulp
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WHAT IN THE FUCKING SHIT?! Celestia?! How the fuck did she get Celestia?! Hell, how did she get Twilight at all?! Is she insane?! God! Never mind that Twilight could possibly be annoying, but Celestia…
Celestia. She wasn’t too bad in small doses, but her overbearing nature to care for all her subjects over anything else always seems to put you in a dark light somehow. You were nearly stunned to even know she’s coming.
“Interesting…” Discord said as he tapped at his chin. “Now, I could imagine our dear Princess Twilight was suckered in with some sort of book donation, correct?” He guessed.
Mr.Rich nodded “To her school, to Cheerilee’s class, and to the schools in Canterlot...That was also rather costly. Good g-guess, Mr.Discord.”
“Well, I am good at that. But I wonder, how in the wide wide world of Equestria did your wife nab our ever warming sun princess?” Even Discord couldn’t figure that out. “Especially on such short notice”
“The way the wife explained it might just surprise you. She ran into her in Canterlot when she was hiring workers. When the princess asked her why she was hiring so many, she told her about Mr.Anon’s final exam, and asked if she could attend. Wife didn’t even have to make any sort of deal, the princess just said yes. Don’t that beat all?” Mr.Rich tried to think of that as a positive. If you do well and the princesses were impressed, it meant he could dig himself out of this little financial hole his wife put him in.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
She was going to fucking watch you! As in, she was going to evaluate you like she has done in the fucking past! Holy fuck! Why can’t she mind her own goddamn business?! What made this so special to her that she had to come down to see it?! She had no reason at all to come bother you, not one fucking reason! You weren’t hiding anything! You weren’t doing anything evil! Holy shit, her coming down at all for this was worse than anything Discord could muster up. “I-interesting..I-I’ll really have to do well, huh?”
“Come on, Mr.Anon, don’t be getting shaky voiced on me now. Mnnn, well, here we are. Take a gander at that, boys” Mr.Rich said as you all reached the bleachers. He waved his hoof and pointed to the obstacle course in the middle of the colosseum.
It was a field with nine obstacles. Rainbow Dash had told you ahead of time what the obstacles were going to be, and that there were only going to be eight. But this? Only the first four obstacles in the course matched what she said. The hurdles, the tires, the mud trench, and a climb up a very steep board. The other five is where the fucking money went as it looked like some japanese game show in terms of an obstacle course. There was a tube with poles stabbed into it, it had a bend in the middle and rotated at a semi-slow speed. That bend would cause the center part of the tube to be of higher and lower altitudes within it’s spin. What, did they expect you to get through that shit without getting sick?
The next wild obstacle was a wall that looked like it slid along a track when pushed. You could see the workers pushing on it hard, with the obstacle suddenly jutting backwards with a quick thrust every so often. Given their nods, it was supposed to do that.
The obstacle after that were three platforms suspended over a small moat. The middle platform stayed in place as the other two orbited around it in a clockwise and counterclockwise spin. It seemed you had to use the two platforms to reach the middle quickly, wait, and then when they realign on the other side, quickly jump to the next obstacle.
The fourth was two tight walls going straight up to the final obstacle. Holy fuck! Did they expect you to fucking wall climb all the way up? STRAIGHT UP?! Oh geez…
And the final obstacle was a large circular arena, with a statue of a dragon that rotated about, shooting fireballs about. But it had something in its claws, something that was… “Is that a doll meant to look like Diamond in a princess outfit?”
“Ahrm, yes.” Mr.Rich seemed to have some embarrassment about this. “Missus felt the rescue of said doll would be an appropriate end to this thing…”
“Hmmm…” Discord noted the fireballs “And are those flames real as well?”
Mr.Rich nodded “Mhmm, didn’t feel too right about that one. Seems dangerous to me.”
You just scanned the bleachers for a moment, and spotted two royal seats on the other side. Goddammit, they even had their own little spot to watch the whole thing. “Yeah, I’m not worried about something like that.” You were too focused on Celestia’s eventual presence to care about a little flame.
“Well, it’s not just about you, now is it? Ugh… This whole thing is a mess!” Said a commanding voice from above. You all look up to see a rather pissed off Spitfire, garbed in her captain’s shirt. She didn’t have any shades, made sense since it was night. She slowly landed in front of Mr.Rich and started poking her hoof at his chest. “And you! Really? Real fire?! And what’s with those crazy obstacles, huh? That’s not safe at all for foals! I’ve been wanting to have a chat with you all night, Mr.Rich, because this? All of this is just too much!”
Mr.Rich took a few steps back in surprise, and a little confused to what she was talking about. “Miss Spitfire, e-ern, What seems to be the problem with some of them obstacles?...e-erm, aside from the last one, of course. J-just to let you know, it was the missus who commissioned them”
“Have you seen the tube? That’s not regulation at all. Sure, a properly trained recruit could get through something like that with practice. But a foal? If they lose their balance in there they’ll bash their head on one of the poles when the tube’s bend points up!” She then points to the wall climb obstacle “And what about that one? Sure, with the spinning platform they’ll land in the water below. But if any of them lose their footing on that thing, BAM! They could land on their head on the platform below and it’s lights out for sure! And again... The use of real fire. We appreciate the contribution to the academy, Mr.Rich, but I can’t just sit here and let your wife have her way. These need to be changed before tomorrow, for sure!”
Discord snickers at her words as he puts his arm around her, it doesn’t take long for her to push it away as she looks at him suspiciously. But of course, he doesn’t mind that. “Spitfire, Spitfire, you say all that as if it’s a problem. This is Anon, my son. At this point, I think Equestria would be crushed by the folding fabric of reality itself if him bonking his head somehow was a problem.”
You just silently narrow your eyes at Discord for a moment. But he was right, especially since none of that seemed tough to you. “He’s right, Miss Spitfire...erm..Captain Spitfire, Ma’am. I beat the Storm King, remember? And a dragon too!”
“As if I don’t know about the horn. Look, Anon, I’m not going to say you aren’t capable. Considering me and my team...ahrm, couldn’t beat him, it’d be hard for me to believe you weren’t able to beat this course despite half of it not being regulation. But it’s you and a filly out there, on a course you both haven’t even had any practice for. Even if you BOTH get to the final obstacle, those flames are real. I don’t want anypony responsible for scorched foal, you hear me?” Spitfire explains to you. Yikes, you thought she would have been all for this in the first place. But she seemed really concerned for you and Scootaloo’s safety. Come on, it didn’t look that fucking bad.
“Captain Spitfire, ma’am. I’m no ordinary colt. I have dealt with stuff much MUCH worse than some obstacle course, horn or no. Besides, Mr.Rich has already invested a ton of money into this already, having anything changed now would be too costly. If the course is too much for either me or Scootaloo, we can tap out… Or, you could just be responsible and pull us out if it gets too rough or something. I mean, that's what adults do, right? Make sure us foals don’t overdo it?” Your expression is slightly cocky, but you meant what you said. You both could be pulled out if it got “dangerous”. And with the amount of money spent already, you didn’t want Mr.Rich to suffer any more stress.
“Kid… I have managed obstacle courses and special training machines for as long as I’ve been captain of the Wonderbolts. I don’t mind a little rough n’ tumble, that’s fine. But this kind of course was made for adults, not foals. And even if I was ok with it, there’s still the fact the final obstacle could make foal fillet at any time.” Spitfire does her best to explain to you.
Mr.Rich looked a little ragged as his mane started to come apart slowly. He was not a greedy miser, but it really did seem like he could calculate the costs, and it didn’t seem too good for him if this wasn’t a success. But he also had morals, and didn’t want anyone to get hurt.
But Discord slithered along Spitfire’s side, and looked at her closely eye to eye with one of his creepy sultry looks. “Are you forgetting that it’s really his wife that you have to deal with? She’s the one who wanted all of this in the first place. And given I know she’s made quite the contribution to said academy, I don’t think it’d be in your favor to complain.” He then poofs away, and reappears in front of her, looking away from her as his tone became more serious. “And even if you’re correct. You forget that very powerful beings, such as myself, will be attending tomorrow. Yes, I know, that in truth, that the final obstacle is so risky even our rich benefactor is having doubts of how safe this all is. But, Captain Spitfire, could you risk the wrath of a social elite who has been humiliated by her vain and shallow company because you wanted to make changes? What about your fellow Wonderbolts? Come now, I will personally keep a close eye on our two trainees to make sure nothing runs afoul. That way the crowd gets their show, you know the foals are safe, and you Anon...will be able to do what is expected of you.” He says as he looks to you with a wink. Heh, now that was cool. He was on your side.
You looked to Spitfire, who seemed to now be in deep contemplation. You could see she didn’t want anything to happen to the academy or the Wonderbolts. And in truth, even you could tell she was mostly worried about the damn dragon obstacle. Anyone would if it involved real flames. But you were sure things would be fine. “Captain Spitfire, Ma’am, it’ll be ok. Isn’t that right, Mr.Rich?” You look to him for reassurance
Mr.Rich was contemplating things himself. He wouldn’t mind telling his wife himself that this all was too much. And he certainly didn’t want to put foals in danger. But he just knew no matter what the outcome, someone was going to get screwed due to how much of an investment his wife put on this emotionally. He looks to Discord, and gives him a hard stare, having to know the truth for himself. “Mr.Discord, are you sure you can protect Mr.Anon and Miss Scootaloo? I have your word as a businesspony?”
“Of course! I can bend reality, space, and sticks of rubber to my will! How hard can protecting two foals during a silly training exam be? In any case, I can assure everypony here that they are in good hands. So, Spitz McWorrypants, anything else to complain about?” Discord turns back to Spitfire, internally feeling pretty good of granting you this solid.
“Fine… If it’s gonna keep everything together, and you really can do it, then fine.” Spitfire put her hoof to her face and shook her head, she felt this was a mistake “Ugh, can’t believe I’m allowing it. Anyway, I have one last thing to mention, but I’m gonna go get Dash for this one, since we both kinda have different opinions on it.”
And so Spitfire lifted off and flew down, under the large platform with the dragon statue. Was Rainbow Dash there among the workers? Maybe she was checking things out.
You took the time to absorb the entire course some more. Did you truly have any doubt in your ability to win? Sure, the obstacles Spoiled had put in looked tough at first, but you were the fucking hero colt! You’ve done so much amazing shit already, a goddamn training exam shouldn’t be something you’d have to worry about. No, you aren’t going to worry about it. You got this…
As you gazed, you could see Spitfire coming back with Rainbow Dash. Hmm, differing opinions on this other thing she mentioned. You wondered what that thing was and how they could have different opinions on it.
Spitfire and Rainbow Dash land in front of your group, it appears they were having a small discussion as they flew up here. Because they both looked to Mr.Rich, with Spitfire opening her mouth to say “Right, before we get to this thing.” She points to a long piece of parchment Rainbow Dash was holding. “Just want to say this. Whether your wife wants it or not, Anon and Scootaloo are wearing helmets and knee pads, no ifs, ands, or buts… Are we clear?”
Mr.Rich nods “Crystal, and I’ll make sure, personally, that it’s no issue. Safety first and all that.” He was genuine about this, last thing he needed was for Scootaloo to get a concussion. Not you, of course, you were better than that.
“Good, alright Dash, go ahead.” Spitfire let’s Rainbow Dash speak, and given how annoyed RD looked, she had a lot to say.
“Ok then, so, this is apparently the script your wife wrote for us. And I gotta say, I don’t really like it too much. Like, none of it sounds right at all.” Dash holds up the parchment, looking quite annoyed with it, and points to a particular passage “Check this one out, ahrm… ‘So let us praise Anon, the hero colt who may very well prove to be our savior from many dangers ahead of us. The princesses needn’t worry when he, the future son-in-law of the Rich estate, is around to protect Equestria’. Ok, so what’s up with that, huh? Is she saying that we can’t do it? I mean, come ooooon! if it wasn’t for me, Nightmare Moon would have made everything night time, but...you know, forever.”
Spitfire looks to Rainbow Dash. She looked a tad confused, but only in the sense that she could see she was bullshitting. “You mean you, Princess Twilight, and the rest of the elements, right? Come on, Dash, we don’t need anypony having a big head here.”
Rainbow Dash giggled sheepishly, then have Spitfire a small salute “Sorry about that. I mean, I did mean my friends too, y’know. It was just I found a bridge…” But she could see Spitfire was not amused at all in her trying to play herself up by even a little. Rainbow Dash looks back at the parchment, clears her throat nervously, and continues. “Annnyway, there’s another thing here that kind of implies that he’s better than the elements.”
“...And the Wonderbolts.” Spitfire adds “Not saying the kid isn’t amazing. But the way she worded it, it makes us look incompetent.”
“Well...I guess I can give Twilight and her friends the one with the whole Pony of Shadows thing. But Anon, again, did defeat this Storm King fellow. And he reformed a pony, that I feel I need to remind you took all your cutie marks and locked you in a shed.” Discord said with a shrug. He was right though, you did do a pretty incredible job now that you thought about it. “I see nothing wrong with this so far.”
Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes at him “Sheesh, are you kidding me? This whole script makes us look bad while it makes the Riches and Anon look better than even the princesses! Scootaloo isn’t even mentioned once in this too. She is taking the exam, you know.”
“And? You still haven’t mentioned anything worth changing.” Discord says, staying firm on his words. “Yes, we all know the princesses have done adequately. And when it comes to the elements, it’s really Fluttershy who keeps it all together. But since Anon’s arrival, he has, more often than not, solved many a huge problem by himself. So then, that being said, is the script really a problem when it’s the truth?”
Goddamn Discord. You felt a sense of pride flow through you, it made you stand silently with a smile. No one really noticed it, but you didn’t care. You really were fucking great.
“You’re kidding me, right? We didn’t even get to the-” But Spitfire is stopped when Rainbow Dash puts a hoof to her chest, giving her a smirk and a nod. But of course, Spitfire didn’t get it. “Dash, what are yo-” But again, she is interrupted when Rainbow Dash speaks loudly to cut her off.
“Yeah! Hey! You’re right, Discord! The script is perfect!” Rainbow Dash says, at a near annoyingly loud level. But those words…
Wut? All of you were confused by those words.
“Well, finally! Rainbow Dash, it really is nice to see you come to reason. So then!” Discord looks around, rubbing his talons and paw together as he smiles big “Now that this is all done, I’d like to go. Have to get a big big meal in for tomorrow morning’s festivities!”
“Well, I gotta agree with ya, Discord. There’s no other reason for us to hang around here! I mean...” Rainbow Dash grin curls as she wiggles her eyebrows once at him “There’s nothing wrong with the script at all. Not even this one part where it mentions Anon taming the ‘Big Clown of Chaos” himself. Yep…” Rainbow Dash does a large fake yawn “I’m ready for tomorrow too, so let’s j-” But she is predictably cut off as Discord lets out a short screech and grabs the script, reading and absorbing all of it within a short moment.
“Town fool?! Clown?! Probably couldn’t even drink tea properly?! What is all this?!” Discord was baffled by what he was reading.
Oh ouch. You wanted to laugh, but you could tell Discord was fucking blown away by what he was described as in that script. He probably wouldn’t have minded so much if it wasn’t going to be read out to a crowd.
Rainbow Dash shrugs “I mean, is it a problem? I think it sounds pretty dead on”
Discord immediately rushes over to Mr.Rich and points at the script. “I want this changed, right now! It’s all wrong! Even you can see that, can’t you?! This is a mockery to everything that has to do with me! I mean, at the very least, we can at least make it refer to Twilight!” Oh yeah, he was pissed.
Wew boy, what a mess. You had to turn and look over at the course to hide your smirk. You didn’t really care about the script either way. It was just Mrs.Rich really fucking playing you up for her own benefit. You did kind of wish it gave praise to Scootaloo though. RD was right, she was in this whole exam thing with you.
Mr.Rich, not being ignorant to what was going on and finding his wife’s script appalling, just had himself a bit of a short chuckle as he waves at Discord to indicate he understood what was going on. “That’ll not be a problem, Mr.Discord. In fact, since it would be mostly Captain Spitfire making the opening speech, I feel it’d be right for her to do it her own way, without insult to anypony at all of course. Don’t worry about the wife, I’ll make sure she understands.”
“Good…” Discord crosses his arms as he looks away from everyone “...Because she was clearly wrong...Mostly about me...meh…”
You had to roll your eyes. What a butthurt little dork he can be. “Heh, yeah I guess so. I mean, she was mostly right about me anyway. But to each their own. So, Captain Spitfire, ma’am, are you going to be able to come up with something for tomorrow morning?”
“I’ve come up with speeches in less time than we have now, so it’s not gonna be a problem. But sheesh, I don’t even put that much pressure on my own cadets. I still think you’re really cocky, but in this case, you’re gonna need some of that to ignore all that distraction. For now, I think we should all go and rest up for tomorrow. Everything else is nearly done here, so there’s no reason to lose any sleep. But hey...Anon.” Spitfire gives you a serious look “Don’t get too cocky, ok? This is still a tough course for a foal. I’m gonna give you a word of advice. Even of somepony is the best at what they do, cockiness can still make them mess up. Being blinded with pride makes you blind to what’s in front of you...Ain’t that right, Crash?” Spitfire gives a smarmy little smirk over to Rainbow Dash.
“Ahrm...” Rainbow Dash blushed in embarrassment, but saluted anyway. “Yes, ma’am…”
“Cool, well. Since we pretty much got everything squared away, I’m gonna go. And I suggest everypony else does the same. Seeya tomorrow!” Spitfire salutes, and flies off.
“Y-yeah, I’m gonna go too...But, before I do…” Rainbow Dash looks over to you, and softens up as she comes to her next words “Anon, really, just keep an eye on her tomorrow, ok? Scootaloo is a tough filly, but this might be a little much for her, you know?”
You salute to Rainbow Dash “Trust me, I got this. I won’t let anything happen to her, ok?”
Rainbow Dash let out a reassured sigh and looks to you with such a soft smile, that she was actually alluringly cute. “Thanks, Anon. You’re a good kid, and you’re gonna do great tomorrow.” And after giving you a gentle pet on your head, Rainbow Dash flew off.
“Gonna need to be goin’ myself. The missus is waiting for me, and I want to make sure she understands what changes we’re a makin’. Good evening Mr.Discord, Mr.Anon… And good luck,” And with that, Mr.Rich did a bow, and went on his way.
You wave goodbye to him, then look over to Discord, who hadn’t said a word, not even a goodbye, as he stood there and stewed in his own frustration. “Yo, Discord. Seriously? Come on, you know how she is. You know she doesn’t really like you.”
“Hmph…” Discord says with a gruff “As if I care. I’d just expect a little respect considering who I am and what I’ve done. Not to mention I’m going to be her brother-in-law...or however that works.”
“Come on, big guy…” You walk over to him and give him a tap to his side. “It’s not like she’s Fluttershy...or, y’know...me. I still think you’re cool, and a master of chaos...a king, if I was to give it a title.”
Discord slowly turns his head and looks down at you, he did actually look a little hurt from those words. “A king? You really think so?”
You nod, giving him a sweet little smile ”Yeah! If erm…” You kick your little front hoof forward gently as your smile becomes a little meek “Y’know...I’m the prince of chaos… That works, right?”
“Heh…” Discord lets out a weak chuckle as leans down to give you a pet “I suppose that works. I don’t even know why I feel like this right now. Maybe, perhaps, that I wanted to have a larger part to play in all this. To let everypony know that it’s my son, Anon, who’s proving himself at a physical level. Sounds a little silly, doesn’t it?”
Damn Discord...geez. For him, that was actually pretty heavy. “Nah…” You rub your head gently on his side to show him affection. At this point, you could forgive him for when he smacked you into the side of the fountain. “It just means you care. Maybe a little selfishly, but you just want to be proud of me because I’m your friend, and technically your son, I guess.”
Discord pauses, then picks you up and holds you gently for a hug “I suppose it can be that, and that a moment of weakness for it may be happening at this very moment. And given that moment, I suppose I can say I am indeed proud of you and wish you the best of luck tomorrow, with all my heart. I hope that isn’t too sappy sounding.”
Don’t show any hesitation or doubt, Anon. You can tell, he’s being genuine. “It isn’t…” You give him a gentle hug “Sometimes, Discord. It’s nice just to have these moments, you know? You don’t have to be a douchebag all the time. Really, I say that a lot, but I really mean it when I say it.”
“You do…Don’t you? Hmmnn…” Discord looks around carefully, begins to slowly cradle you when he noticed nobody is around.
“W-what are you doing?” Was he holding you like a baby? What gives? And why was it making you feel so sleepy?
“A final gift for the night. A restful sleep, and to know that you can trust me when you are in my arms.” Discord again looks around as he gently rocks you left and right, then looks back at you “I love you, Anon. As much as a chaotic father can love his interdimensional species-changed son. You are a large piece to the masterpiece that is my life.” Suddenly he gives you a very serious look “And if you tell Anypony I said that, I’ll make sure you are stuck with Applejack for a week. I don’t know how much boredom you’d be able to take, but I’m sure it couldn’t be that much.”
Dammit Discord, he was so damn close! Still… It was close enough. And you felt so tired now that you didn’t have the will to argue. You just started to feel a gentle and blissful sense of rest come over you as you nod off in his arms. The very last thing you hear is “Good night, Anon. My son…”
Darkness with stars generating simple lights all around you…
You found yourself in an empty space, unaffected by time…
And yet you found yourself quite lucid as you stood on a seemingly empty void…
It was a dreamspace. Emptier than you’d expect, but that was most likely due to the fact that you hadn’t come to dream anything this night. And if you found yourself lucid within a dreamscape, then it only meant one thing.
“Luna…” You lowly mutter to yourself as you look around the emptiness.
You begin to walk forward as you look around. “Come on, Princess Luna, I know you’re here. I always lucid dream when you’re inside my head”
“Indeed...I am here.” You hear her gentle yet regal voice come from behind you as Princess Luna herself steps to your side and looks down at you with a warming smile. “How are you this evening, Anon? It has been some time”
Great, the princess brigade seemed to be on your ass once again… “I’m fine, and obviously sleeping pretty well. Princess Luna, I don’t mean to sound rude or cold, but why are you here? It can’t be a coincidence that you chose to enter my dream now, considering what's going to happen tomorrow.”
Luna frowns from those words, seems she was hoping for things to be rather pleasant considering she did consider you a friend. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Anon. Mnnn…” She really didn’t, but she carries on anyway as she did have some things to say “But no, it isn’t a coincidence. I came to discuss about the going ons for tomorrow, as I will not be there to personally see it myself.”
You thought as much. “Why not?”
“Well, I am technically awake as I do my duties. So I will need my rest when the morning comes.” She explains to you.
“Right… I guess that makes sense. But why do you have to come bother me then instead of asking your sister what happened when it’s all over?”
She doesn’t answer for a meer moment, and after some awkward hesitation, she replies. “You feel as if my sister and I are intruding on your personal business, correct?”
Bingo! Dammit… “Yeah, that’s exactly it. Doesn’t help that your sister decided to just join in for tomorrow without much prodding. I’m surprised Twilight hasn’t had a freak out over the course design yet. And now you’re suddenly bothering me in my sleep. So yeah, excuse me for being a little sore that you decided to visit me specifically for what’s going on tomorrow.”
“Anon, I didn’t mean to upset you like this, but you are also acting out of turn. Do you believe there is a conspiracy against you? Or perhaps we are trying to control you?” Luna didn’t really like the way you were acting. “Because if that’s what you think, then you are sorely mistaken. The only thing that holds true is the partial fact that my sister wishes to attend so she may watch you and young Scootaloo perform in this exam. Mrs. Rich had told her the details of the course, so her other reason is to make sure Twilight does not lose her will of mind from the apparent dangers.”
So then… “Ok, then what about Twilight? If the danger is there, wouldn’t she have shut this whole thing down?”
Luna shakes her head “Not if she has yet to see the colosseum. Twilight has been busy within her own works to see what has been going on just across the train station. She has some qualms about it being such a public spectacle, but her want for young foals to learn and be lost in the world of books was too good for even her to pass up. She will, of course, need calming once she learns the truth of the situation.”
Hmmm, then what about… “Well, if everypony thinks it’s so dangerous. Why is your sister ok with it?”
“She believes it’s not as dangerous as it appears. That you will have more than enough observers who will be able to help the both of you should things go awry. She also believes there is a lesson to be learned about being too boastful. Given my visitations through certain ponies’ dreams, I’ve come to believe my sister is indeed correct. Mrs. Rich has taken your achievement as a way to step above her peers, as she feels she herself has had her dignity diminished by them one too many times. Given how some of the elite in Canterlot tend to act, I can see why she’d feel this way, though I also believe this is definitely not a way to cope with it. But if I had to mention a positive in all this, she does in fact have pride in you, and wishes for you to succeed in a way equivalent to how a mother sees her son.” Luna explains.
“Sounds a little messed up to me. If anything goes wrong, she’ll be a laughing stock. I’m aware she’s being really dumb and cocky about all of this. But I also know how that all works too… sorta… I’ve seen it enough times anyway. If your sister wants to give Mrs. Rich some sort of lecture on something like this, then I can’t see it going all too well if it all explodes in her face anyway. That’d just be kicking her while she’s down. And don’t give me that ‘But she shouldn’t be putting foals in danger’ stuff. I’m well aware, just from looking at the course, that it’s tougher than the norm. But I’m still going for it, and I’ll make sure Scootaloo gets through it just fine… That's a promise. Princess Luna…” You look at her, frowning but determined “I know there’s probably a lesson to be learned somewhere tomorrow. But the way I see it, It’s my duty to make sure everypony succeeds, and that includes Mrs. Rich. I don’t need your sister telling anypony what’s what.”
Luna could sense a cloud of maturity in your tone and words. But she also seemed to know something you don’t. “My sister understands how the social structure works in Equestria. No, she feels it will be more of a personal realization while maintaining the status quo. I’m sure you know, but my sister has premonitions from time to time, and she feels all of this will come about with little involvement from her.”
You roll your eyes. Celestia and her decisions and fucking premonitions. She manipulated you to meet her own ends, and you had to convince yourself that it was for the good of the world. If anything, you’d trade this Celestia for the one from the Flim Flam timeline. She seemed like she would have cared more about your feelings. “Yeah, I bet. I know she has premonitions, but it doesn’t mean it’s always right. Or else she would have seen things like my Dad betraying you all for Tirek coming.”
Luna began to narrow her eyes at you, she started to really notice your hostility towards Celestia. “A premonition doesn’t describe the journey, Anon. Nor is it always set in stone. But I trust my sister, and believe her vision to be true. Is there a reason you hold such hostilities towards her?”
“Whenever she graces me with her presence, it’s always because she doesn’t trust me.” You say, with some scorn in your tone.
“That’s not true, and you know it. You base this on the rare visitations you have with her, and your time with that condemnable queen.” Luna started to sound harsher in her tone “Now you act childish, Anon. It wasn’t my sister who manipulated you, it was Queen Chrysalis who did that. You, the ponies we protect, and even her own hive! How can you still bare a grudge over my sister? The Changelings have become kind and gentle, their kingdom as prosperous as any other. And yet, despite this, you still are angry over the fact that we needed to deceive Chrysalis to make it work?! I would have thought you had moved past this.”
“I am past it. I’m well aware Chrysalis is evil, she’s a villain, and that she had committed grand atrocities. But I still managed to do what you all hadn’t… Have her as a friend. I don’t hold a grudge over your sister, I’m just tired of her always having a reason for, I dunno, something when it comes to me! I paid my dues, haven’t I? Really, the only one I still owe is you considering you saved my life from that tantabus. Princess Luna, please…” You let out a heavy and exasperated sigh “Please understand that it’s nothing against either of you, but I don’t like feeling like I’m being held under a microscope all the time. I mean, I think this would have gone better if you just came to say hello to me, don’t you think? It would have been my bad then had I brought your sister up. Ugh, look… I get Chrysalis was evil, I really do. But she was still one of my best friends, so I’m kind of sensitive about it.”
Luna felt that actually may be true, but also knew had you brought Celestia up yourself, that this conversation would have gone down the same path. But she also felt that, perhaps, a softer approach may be needed “Hmm..Perhaps. And perhaps being sensitive to losing a friend so close is reasonable. I apologize if I have insulted you in that sense, but I still expect you to understand things from our point of view. As for you and my sister… Hm, may I ask you that the next time you speak to her face to face, that you yourself keep things as casual as possible? I know you are always suspicious of her motives, but perhaps not being suspicious and trying to have a normal conversation with her will help move you away from such stressful thinking. My sister can actually be quite a treat to be around and speak to… And sometimes she can be a little overbearing, I admit. But it’s more the former than the latter. And I know you have had some of that former with her before, or am I wrong about that?”
...There was a few times. But those were mostly in your earlier meetings with her, or that one time she came to help prank Blueblood. Hmmnngh, really, Celestia only butt heads with you due to Chrysalis. Dammit… Were you being manipulated again?! You stay silent as you ponder…
And Luna could see that you were in deep thought about that, or maybe something else. Whatever she believed, she tried to circumvent it with a deal. “I would consider it payment for me saving your life. I know what I ask is less than equivalent to that, but it would do my heart good to know that my sister had better relations with you. So please, Anon…” Luna does a short bow to you “Please, honor my request, I ask nothing more than that.”
...Luna...Dammit. Fuck, how could you say no now? A-atleast it got you off the hook, right? “O-ok, ok. Sheesh, you don’t need to bow. Fine, I’ll talk to her tomorrow and see how that goes.”
Luna finally started to smile, and gave you a nod “I thank you for that, Anon. Now, I’d like to get off this subject and move on to something lighter toned. You’d like that as well, correct?”
God yes… “Well, considering this has technically been a nightmare. I really wouldn’t mind a casual conversation with the Princess of the Night...mnnn.” Ugh, just do it, Anon. You felt guilt for your earlier outburst, and felt the urge to apologize. “Sorry, by the way, if I insulted you.”
“It’s…” Luna calmed herself about that, she’d let it slide at this point, it was all said and done. “It’s alright, Anon. Do not let it trouble you further. So, then… What would you like to talk about?”
“Well...erm” You actually hadn’t thought of a topic, you really were too frustrated from before to think of a proper one. But as your mind wanders, it comes upon that of your friend. “Did Scootaloo have a nightmare. Y’know, about tomorrow?”
Luna nodded “She did, but do not worry. I had guided her to a more confident train of thought before visiting you, the same with Discord as well.”
Wut? “Huh? Discord? What? He had a nightmare about tomorrow?”
Luna nodded “Indeed, strong enough that he did not notice me when I came to ease his mind. He cares about you deeply, Anon, more than you think. I know you need no reminder that he worries about you should things become dire. But when it comes to situations such as this, where the stakes don’t seem very high, he can still have worries. Although he tends to keep said worries to himself. “
The fuck? What the hell is worrying him to the point of nightmares? “So what’s bothering him then? Is he ok?”
Luna nods “He’ll be alright. His worry, however, is of his own arrogance. That something may happen tomorrow and he won't do anything about it due to him being, well, in my words, foolish. I soothed his mind however, it really wasn’t that hard to do. For you see, Anon, all he needs is the love in his heart to act without hesitation. That’s all he needed to be reminded of to make such a nightmare flee his mind.”
Discord….godfuckingdammit. You lovable bastard. You knew he loved you. But a nightmare based off his own cockiness? Now that’s on a whole other level. “Woah, well...erm. Thanks for telling me that, I’ll erm… I’ll let him know things will be fine when we get up in the morning.”
Luna nods “He may not remember the dream at a conscious level, as such things are fleeting. But I’m sure, deep down, he’ll appreciate it just the same.”
And you knew, even if he did, he’d be an asshole about it. But you could forgive him, you knew he was putting up a front. Especially after what you have just been told. “Yeah… erm, let me think. So uh, other things… So, how do you feel about Starswirl being back?”
“Well, considering he was my sister and I’s former mentor, ecstatic. But you knew that. I’m sure what you meant was how have things been lately, correct?” Luna asks, as she takes a seat on the invisible floor of the abyss.
“Yeah, that’s what I meant. Sorry, just trying to focus.”
“No need to apologize. Ahrm, well, things have been as one would think. And that being we don’t talk too much, but keep up in letters. Starswirl has taken to being solitary to continue his work, but hasn’t secluded himself from society either. We’ve had tea a couple of times, and my sister and I have gotten him up to speed in recent events. Speaking of recent, I can say that he has a large interest in you, Anon.”
Oh no… “Uhhhh, why?”
“Well, he does know of your origins after all. He’s a scholarly pony, Anon, with a taste for learning that rivals even Twilight. Though, unlike Twilight, he does have a tendency not to respect the boundaries of others…” Luna let’s out a weak chuckle “S-such as this one time he was studying bringing true life to inanimate objects, and turned one of my dolls into an abominable beast. It did insurmountable amounts of damage as well… But, ahrm… That was long ago, and not worth talking about in our current times.”
He turned her doll into a monster? Heh, that must have been when she was much younger. No, this you had to hear. You wanted details! “Oh, I think it is.” You give her a mischievous grin “So, what exactly happened? How big was the monster?”
“A-anon, it is not a tale worth telling” Luna seemed to be getting increasingly nervous about this, why was she so nervous if it happened so long ago?
“Come on, Princess Luna! Tell me! You can’t say something as juicy as that and not give details! How big was the monster? Was it like, as big as a dragon? Or… Even bigger?”
“E-erm…” Luna looked away, red faced and embarrassed
...Oh no. She may have been trying to hide it, but you could tell. She was having the cartoonish reaction of large embarrassment, which meant… “It was smaller than me, wasn’t it? It was, right?”
“W-what?! How did you know?!” Luna looked back at you, bewildered at your seemingly correct guess.
“Well, I didn’t… It was a guess. And now, I know I was right. Eheh” You let out a gentle and meek chuckle “Guess the cat is out of the bag now, eh?”
“Ahh, I know that expression...erm. Yes, I suppose the cat has been let out to rampage across the streets, stealing milk and waking many a pony with it’s terrible meowing tones…” Luna said nervously, looking down in shame.
“Yeaaaah…” Seems she didn’t quite get that the expression doesn’t go that far. Kind of funny, but mostly cringy. “Anyway, so...erm, how exactly did it cause so much damage?”
“W-well, aside from going through my sister’s hidden cookie and cake reserves. It had eaten my crown, my chessboard, some of my other dolls, and…” Luna looks back, her beautiful tail hair vanishing to reveal her bare tail. “It had somehow ate the hairs off my tail…”
That’s it? THAT’S IT?! HAHAHA! That’s hilarious! Her fucking tail? Celestia’s fucking reserve of sweets!? DOLLS?! Now that's fucking priceless! So much so, that you fall over laughing.
“Hmph…” Luna’s tail instantly reverts to normal as she stands and looks down at you, feeling rather insulted “Those were high quality dolls! I really liked them!”
“BAHAHAHAHA!” You were nearly choking, that’s just too funny! Luna! Upset over dolls! Holy shit! That’s too good!
“Hmph, perhaps you can be too much like Discord. Let’s see then…” Luna creates a little window, and reaches inside for something.
Wut?...Wait. A window? But wasn’t this inside your head? You immediately stop laughing and start to worry. “W-what are you doing?”
“Looking for something embarrassing about you so I too may have a chortle.” Luna said as she casually sifted through the window, moving thoughts around like sets of clothing.
“H-hey, that isn’t right, y-you know? I have some pretty private thoughts, some I’m sure nopony should be looking at.” Oh god, please let her be bluffing.
“Oh, it shouldn’t be too horrifying for a pony like me. And these are just your outermost thoughts, the ones you leave unprotected. Surely the thing I find in here never meant too much to you in the...WHAT IN THE?! WHAT ARE THOSE TWO MARES DOING?!” Luna suddenly turned bright red from whatever she was observing. She was utterly stunned.
Two mares? U-u-oh…
You walk over to where she was and raised yourself to gaze through the window. And there it was, Trixie fucking Starlight. As explicit as your little mind could make it… Oh man, she was licking her in the-
“ANON!” Luna pulls you away and closes the window “THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE! EVEN FOR ONE SUCH AS YOURSELF! HOW...How did such a thing get attached to the outer shell of your mind so easily?! That is usually so deep and intimate, an ultimate expression of love!”
Oh, you knew how. Joking with Starlight must have made you think about it unconsciously at some point. And given your human perversions, it made sense that a thought like this would be so easily seen within your head. “Heh…” You shrug, but then give Luna a smirk “Dunno, but uh, that should teach you a lesson about going through other ponies’ heads like that, eh?”
Luna gulped as she did her best to compose herself “I-indeed...P-perhaps our visit should end h-here. I-I have other ponies I must attend to.”
“Oh...I bet you do” You wiggle your eyebrows at her. Holy innuendos, Batmare! But truthfully, it felt nice getting one over her like this within the dreamworld, especially when you think back on your semi-vague recollection of Nightmare Night.
“A-Anon! I-I don’t know why y-you’d surround yourself in such t-thoughts. But I-I’d suggest you don’t p-pursue them… For everypony’s sake.” Luna didn’t even know if those were the correct words. She had seen all kinds of horrors in your mind. But that?! That’s just unholy to her, on every level.
You give Luna a confident bow “Yes, your highness.” Heh, you really got her good, even if you didn’t mean to.
“G-good” Luna started to wobble a little as she opened her wings, still more red than she was blue at this point “As I-I said, I must be off. T-take care, and g-good luck tomorrow” She said as she began to fade out into nothingness.
You just waved, and gave your goodbye to the defeated princess. Dream or no, the both of you weren’t going to forget that one. Serves her right...
You open your eyes, and blink at the ceiling of your room, a small smile on your face as you yawn. Poor Luna. Even as old as she is, two mares having fun with each other was too much for her.
Hilarious.
You look over at your alarm clock. It was pretty early, nine in the morning in a few more minutes. You really were getting used to getting up when you needed to. You hopped out of bed, stretched, and looked to your portal door.
“Ahh, Anon, good, you’re awake.” You hear Discord’s voice from behind you.
You look back at your floor door as he begins to phase through without opening it. “Eager for that challenge, I see.”
“Yeah well, I’ve been working up to this moment, y’know? Ponies need to know that it’s not just the horn that gives me strength.” You said with confidence, ready to destroy the course. “And besides, there are quite a few ponies relying on me right now. So, y’know, gotta be ready. You mind getting me a quick breakfast? Just a pill that expands into a meal in my stomach or something.”
Discord snaps his talons “Or we can just skip that and get to the point” He walks over to the portal door with a grin, and opens it to the town fall. “However, I have some business to attend to before I take my seat at the colosseum.”
Woah, you suddenly felt filled and full of energy. Discord could really be amazing sometimes. But business? What kind of business could he… oh wait. “You’re going to Twilight’s to see if she’s found out about the course, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. With her being unable to do anything about it, how could I not? I won’t make a physical showing this time, however. True, it’s fun to tease her now and again, but I’d rather not risk the chance of her shutting everything down. You, however, should head over to that colosseum. I’m sure there’s quite a few things you’ll need to be prepped for before things actually begin. Speaking of which…” Discord points to you, and zaps you with a spell. Mismatched leg guards appear on the knees of your legs, and a helmet with a vague resemblance to Discord on your head poofs right onto your noggin.
It didn’t take any amount of thought to realize why he’d give you safety gear so early on, especially after what Luna had told you. It made you want to talk to him about it. Because you knew deep down, Discord was worried. Yes, he wants to see Twilight spaz, but probably only to help get his mind off any danger you might possibly be in. To you however, you also felt all this fear about injury was unwarranted, it was just simple fire, how bad could it be? “Hey, Discord, before you go. Can I tell you something?”
Discord stops, and looks at you, he seemed… a little shaken. For just a second, he wasn’t his usual jovial self. “Oh, well. Of course you can. What is it?”
“If you’re worried about me, then don’t, ok? Remember. I’m Anon! The prince of chaos! The Hero Colt! Your pal! As if some exam can take me down. I’ll make you proud! Dad!” You hold your hoof up and wiggle it a bit, until you realized one thing “O-ok, I was trying to raise a thumb there but… Y’know.”
Discord let out a quick choking noise with a rapidly vanishing smile. He turned away, and waved his paw at you dismissively. “Well, I knew that. Seriously, Anon, I don’t know why you were-...ahrm.” Suddenly he stopped himself. He still looked away from you, but his tone became a little more worried when he continued “Well… what I mean is… I appreciate your reassurance, and I have no doubt you’ll succeed perfectly. You’re right, it’s a simple exam. I mean, you’ve dealt with sooooo much worse.” His tone starts to return to his smuggish self as he chortles “You’ve nearly even been destroyed a few times. So why would anypony worry about this? I mean, it’s not as if you not being able to use your horn has nearly led to your end or anything like that… Haha…” Discord gulped, and started to step through the portal door “I’ll just be going now, you’re making me waste precious time…”
Discord…
He really was worried. You had to hope that Twilight’s worrying would help calm the guy’s nerves. Sometimes, you really would like to have a glimpse inside his head, to see what he truly thought of you. Given how looking inside heads in this universe works, you imagined some kind of candy land where Discord was actually happy to be your pal twenty four seven.
After rummaging through your thoughts, you grab your saddlebag and head out through the portal door. You take a look up at the morning sky upon stepping through, and breath in the clean air. “Another beautiful DAYAGH!”
Suddenly, you are tackled from behind as you feel a nuzzling on the side of your cheek. “Anon! My prince!” says a familiar cheery voice from behind you. Seems Diamond was anticipating you...somehow. Was she just waiting near the fountain all morning?
You just laid there, allowing her to cuddle on you. You weren’t mad. Hell, after the initial knockdown, her nuzzling was quite welcome as it warmed your soul. “Hello, my princess, what’s up?”
“You know what’s up.” She says as she nuzzles you “It’s your final exam! To show everypony just how great you truly are!”
You continue to lay there as you absorb her loving cuddles. “I’d think they already know after the whole Storm King thing, don’t you think?”
Diamond slowly stops nuzzling and gently rests upon your back, placing her head on yours as she looks forward in a dreamy haze. “But everypony always says you do these things with your horn. Even beating that dragon can be explained by your horn. I mean, ok, they still think you’re great and all. And I know you’re perfect! But some of mother’s friends think you’re just a big cheater. Well, today, you’re gonna prove them all wrong, right?”
Heh…
You nod, letting her head feel the movement of yours. “Yeah, of course!”
“And you’re gonna be careful too, right? T-that’s real fire, you know?” She begins to poke at your helmet, her voice becoming a little meek and shaky. “Mother wanted the course to be kind of dangerous so there wouldn’t be any doubt. But erm, thinking about it now, it’s kind of scary knowing a really big mess up can make you end up being burned.”
“It’s gonna be no problem, trust me. I’ve dealt with worse, and I’m not gonna let a statue beat me! But erm… Hey, Diamond, did you see my dad pass by just now?”
“Mr.Discord? Yeah, I said hi, he said hi, and then he told me you were about to show up. So I got ready to hug you for when you did!” She giggled as she nuzzled right along your neck, her tone becoming a little ‘sultry’. “Eventually, I’ll be able to predict whenever you’ll show up. And I’ll always ready to be there for you...Always.”
Oh, you felt a pleasurable tingle down your spine in the way she said that. But… Did you want that tingle? Did you want her to have the ability to track you down to the ends of Equestria? No… probably not, not at an age where she can’t fuck you yet. Because as much as you enjoy her affectionate company, you don’t think you could handle her when she gets abrasive, not when she can pop out in any place you might be hanging out at. “O-oh yeah...erm, I’d really...erm. That’s pretty cool, I guess. Erm, Diamond? Aren’t we supposed to be going somewhere?”
Suddenly, she jumps up, smashing your back with her hooves as she hops off and gasps in surprise “How could I forget?! How can you impress everypony if we’re still wasting time here!” Diamond suddenly rams her head at your butt as she began to push you along, forcing you to your hooves as you tense up from the quick, yet sharp, pain in your back. “Come on, Anon! You can’t waste any time here! You have an exam to pass! Come on, move those legs! One two, one two!”
Ogh, she didn’t have to smash your back like that. You let out a little bit of a pained groan as she pushes you through town. “O-ok, geez, slow down, a-are we really that short on time?”
“No!” Diamond said as she pushed you along “But I wanna get there before Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight show up! I want a chance to talk to them!”
N-ngh, of course that was worth a slightly aching back. “A-alright then, b-but can you stop pushing? I-I can walk…”
“I know.” Diamond stopped and trotted to your side, looking ahead as you both walked through town. “But what if the princesses get there before we do?”
“Well, I think Twilight is still at her castle, so we already have a good start. Even then, how do you plan to get to them through the crowd?”
Diamond gave you a slick smirk “Anon, did you forget who I am? The princess entrance to the colosseum is closed off to everypony but them… and me.” Diamond giggles “One of the advantages of being a rich pony. If there’s something I want…” She nuzzles her head against yours, giggling softly “then it will be mine”
You try to focus ahead as you spot the train station. Beyond that, several yards beyond the tracks, was the colosseum. However, if Diamond kept her cuddling and sly attitude, you may have to make a beeline back home for some “alone” time with yourself. Even the ache in your back was soothed at this point. “S-sure, so, Diamond… can I ask you a question?”
“Pfft” She chuckles as she gives you a nudge. “As if you couldn’t. You are my coltfriend, afterall. You can ask me anything” There was a slight tenseness in her voice as if she was expecting something wonderful… or terrible.
There was something on your mind as you gazed upon the colosseum’s normal entrance. Ponies entering, in a line that weaved left and right, it made you wonder a few things. “Well, you said there was a Princess entrance. And over there is the normal entrance. So uh, what other entrances are there?”
Diamond hesitated, as if there was a huge weight off her shoulders, and answered accordingly. “A few, there’s also another normal entrance on the other side for ponies who don’t want to wait for this one. Then there’s the princess entrance, as I mentioned. My mother’s personal entrance… Which is also for my father and their friends. Oh, and of course there’s the entrance you and Scootaloo will be using. I know Scootaloo has already gone inside, so really, things won’t start until you and the princesses are ready. Speaking of ready…” Diamond rushes ahead of you, and looks at you as she walks backwards in front of you “What kind of cool move are you going to use to save me? Well...erm. The doll of me” She said, with a hint of jealousy in her voice.
“Cool move?” What did she mean by that?
“You know, one of your cool moves. Like that Showyoucan… Thing… That you do. What? You do have one lined up to wow my mother’s friends, right?” She asked, looking quite pouty as she awaited your answer.
The Shoryuken. Oh god, she thought that was cool? Hell, you did a long time ago. But you’ve used it so many times, usually ending in failure, that you had finally stopped trying to do it unless magic was involved. And even then, she wanted a super cool special move out of you. She wanted to see you be as spectacular as possible, as well as making sure her mother was pleased.
What could you even come up with for a rescue maneuver?
Well, you could just lie…
“It’s gonna be a secret surprise.” You give her a confident yet sly grin as you boop her nose with your hoof, making her stop in her tracks with a heavy blush “Just for you.”
She just stood there for a few moments, giggling and gurgling, most likely imagining you beating up a real dragon to rescue her from her prison. “Oh, Anon, I bet it’s going to be the most amazing thing ever!”
“Oh, I’m sure it will.” Said a snobbish voice from behind… Oh shit.
“M-mother?!” Diamond shook away her love filled haze and immediately stood up straight as she cleared her throat “Mother… Erm, where did you come from? I mean…” She did a curtsy “Hello.”
You felt a dead chill in the air. She managed to sneak up on the both of you.. Somehow. You wondered what she thought of your last words. Was she happy that you could make Diamond smile like that? Or did she not like you basically managing to spirit her away with such simplistic tactics?
You slowly turn, and do a quick bow to her “Mrs. Rich! Good morning! How are you?”
“Bored and miserable… Had to step away from those cretins who think themselves superior. I’m actually glad I ran into you, Anon, there’s a few things I’d like to discuss with you in private before the exam begins.”
S-shit...
Chapter 21 - Spoiled's True Intentions And Something Spooky
“Wait, private? B-but mother, I was hoping to spend some more time with Anon.” Diamond gives her mother big ole sad eyes. “T-the princesses aren’t even here yet. I wanted to talk to him about a few more things before they showed up. Like asking Anon about, erm…” She blushes deep red “Sleeping over at his house for a night. Like, a real sleepover this time… W-which you wouldn’t mind, right?”
W-w-w-wut?! She was going to ask that?! H-holy fuck, erm…
“Of course I wouldn’t… As long as certain conditions are met. Either way, you are still going to be able to speak with the princesses. Remember, we need a gentle and welcoming filly like you to greet them when they arrive. Perhaps, even sit with them…” Spoiled says, purposely not continuing her words as Diamond’s eyes light up.
“R-really? I can sit with the princesses? Erm…” Diamond gulps “Y-you don’t think they’ll mind, do you, mother?”
Spoiled gives her daughter a gentle smile and shakes her head “No, they won’t mind at all. I’m sure they won’t turn away the marefriend of the colt everypony came here to see.” More like she knew they wouldn’t be rude to her if she was a little insistent. Celestia seemed to find her rather delightful last you remembered.
“eeeeeEEEE!” Diamond hopped around, and gave you a kiss on your nose “Anon! I’m going to be able to sit with the princesses! Yay! Yay! Yaerm…” Diamond notices the disapproving look of her mother, and calms herself “Ahrm, indeed, I will make sure I am a pleasant host.” Diamond does a curtsy once again.
“I’m sure you will. Now get going, the princesses will be here soon and Anon will need to be properly briefed before we begin.” Spoiled says, dismissing her daughter as her eyes shift to you.
Diamond acts as dignified as possible as her body shakes in anticipation. She gives you a giddy little grin before marching off towards the princess entrance of the colosseum.
You then look up at Spoiled, whose smile has now turned into a scowl. You worried about her true intentions.
You wait until Diamond is out of earshot before you ask. “Mrs. Rich, ma’am. A-are you alright?” She mentioned “cretins” from before, she had to be annoyed at those she was trying to trounce.
“Follow me, Anon. We’re going to turn around and walk for awhile…” Spoiled started to lead you back the way you came, towards the regular entrance. Though, she was staying by the outer wall of the colosseum. She must have wanted to go the long way around to where you needed to go so she could properly discuss whatever she wanted to discuss. You nod, and follow her. “Tell me, Anon. You’re prepared to win at all costs, right?” She asks.
Considering it was more than her at stake… “Yes, I am. But Mrs. Rich, is this all really necessary? I know you want to impress a bunch of socialites… But…”
“Anon, let me tell you about the upper crust of society.” She doesn’t let you finish your words as she speaks, her tone sounding rather annoyed. “There is no real friendship among those who want to see you under their hooves. Sure, my husband is able to befriend those who actually have a soul. But as the wife of the household, it is up to me to make sure any and all competitors understand who is the best”
Well, that was rather blunt. So that’s all it really was then? “So you set this whole thing up for just that? I don’t mean to sound rude...But erm, couldn’t you just buy them out or outperform them or something? Again, not to be rude or anything… But you’re putting me and somepony else in the way of injury just for something so… petty…” ugh, you sounded so… moralistic.
“Not all of them are competitors, Some are just acquaintances that bug me. And to answer your question, no, there’s no other way. I don’t think you understand, Anon, but you are the hero colt and my future son-in-law. Everypony knows of your amazing feats already. But there are some who’d rather focus on your origins and upbringing, rather than what you can do. And so they feel the need to ‘politely’ bring it up during dinner conversation” Spoiled lets out a low growl “And, I’m tired of it.” She takes a moment to breath, then continues. “So, after learning about your little tussle with the dragon, I knew word would spread about it rather quickly. Especially with your father ranting and raving about it all over town. That, and the fact you are nearly done with your training with our local Wonderbolt, gave me an idea to show everypony the truth about you, Ponyville, and my family. It took a lot of money to get this all set up within the day, a LOT of money. So much so that failure could bring ruin should something go wrong. Even more so due to the fact we have two princesses among us.”
What the fuck was she on about?
Spoiled smirked about that one, as if you had said something “I know, I am truly amazing for being able to have the princesses over for this event, along with all the Wonderbolts as well. That is why it is especially important that nothing goes wrong. You must be able to beat the target time with little to no accidents whatsoever. I trust in your skill, Anon, I really do. I wouldn’t have made these arrangements if I didn’t trust in your abilities. Which, by the way, brings me to your little friend…”
And that raised red flags right there. “Woah! Woah! Mrs. Rich, I get it… sort of. You want to show everypony you’re the best. But if you think I’m going to mess up Scootaloo for you, then you’re wrong. And if you insist? Well…” Ogh, it nearly made you fearful on your next few words “I’ll walk out, right now.”
Spoiled groans as she stops and puts a hoof to her face “And of course, I can’t let everypony know your actual I.Q. either, because that is one ridiculously stupid remark. I don’t want you to ‘mess her up’. I need you to help her along! I need you to make absolutely sure that you both clear the course. That includes using some kind of teamwork to rescue that doll. You can’t fail…” She grabs you, brings you close, and brings her eyes close to yours “Cannot… Fail.”
You shiver from her sudden grab, then slowly shift your eyes left and right in a meek fashion before looking back at her intense stare. “Y-yeah… Erm, uh. And uhm… Why is this the plan? J-just asking…” Like no, seriously, you didn’t expect that.
She raises her head and groans ever louder as she continues her trek. “Because! They are the aristocrats of CANTERLOT, which they believe to be the best place to live. If you both pass the test, it shows that Ponyville, it’s princess, and even the elements that live here aren’t the only thing we have to be proud about. Ponyville, the supposed backwater town and place I reside in, produces fillies and colts of pure excellence no matter the class. As for you, you make the foals in Celestia’s school look like a joke, horn or no. Everypony seeing you both brave through a course such as this with finesse,skill, and teamwork will know exactly why I choose to live here. Yes…” Spoiled started to cackle a little evilly “They will know that their bloodlines are absolute horsefeathers at every front! Nyahahaha!... Ah… Hmmm… Erm.” She calms down, and straightens her mane “In any case, just do your best, Anon. I know you can do it… Ahh, here we are.” You both arrive at another entrance guarded by two suited ponies, the entrance itself was an arch like every other one. You wouldn’t even be able to tell this was your entrance if it wasn’t for the two ponies guarding it “Rainbow Dash is waiting to brief you inside. But before I let you go, do you have any questions?”
After that laugh, you found yourself stunned and chilled to the bone with the feeling of a familiar aura. You only had one question. “A-are you Chrysalis?”
“What?” Spoiled asked, confused.
“N-nothing… Erm, I’m just… Gonna go…” You walked off, stepping backwards towards the entrance as the two guardsponies let you through, your eyes never leaving Spoiled in case her eyes suddenly glow green or something. Holy fuck, she’s goddamn insane when she puts her mind to it. All this to raise her goddamn social standing and nothing more. Dammit Mr.Rich, how do you deal with her? She must have used an ungodly amount of money, for sure, to set this up. To the point, in her words, would bring ruin if you fucked up… Or Scootaloo did. No pressure, Anon, you just REALLY had to account for two ponies here. You can do it!
When you do step through, you find yourself in a rather large and long lobby with cushy couches, lanterns on the nicely patterned walls, and beautiful red carpeting that led all the way to the other exit, which you could only guess leads to the course. In front of one of the couches was Rainbow Dash, pacing left and right, wearing a coach’s cap and whistle, and speaking to Scootaloo about the course. She was filling her with courage and determination. Well, of course she was, she wanted her to win… In one piece.
Scootaloo was sitting on the couch, looking determined and happy, her usual helmet placed on her head. She looked really joyful to be with Rainbow, And why wouldn’t she? She was being directed by her favorite hero. But then something caught you as off…
Babs was here, sitting next to Scootaloo as she listened to Rainbow Dash’s words. Was she… Competing too? Wut? You’d think Sweetie Belle and Applebloom would be here if she was here, so it could be that. Well, one way to find out. “Hey guys! I’m here!”
Rainbow Dash stops and looks over to you with a grin “Well, it’s about time. Hey, Rockhead!”
Scootaloo looks over to you, grins, hops off her couch, and rushes over to you to give you a hug. “Anon! Look!” She hops back and shows off a badge on her chest. It was a good quality looking medal with the Wonderbolt’s emblem on it. “Captain Spitfire gave it to me! She said it makes me an honorary Junior Wonderbolt! I’m practically like Rainbow Dash now! Isn’t that cool?!” She said as she hopped about happily.
That was pretty heartwarming to you, you give her a gentle smile. “Super cool, why did she give it to you though? Besides the obvious, of course”
“She believes in me! Just like Dash does! She told me it takes guts to take on something like this and, ahrm.” Scootaloo clears her throat, and stands tall and proud “I do got a lot of guts! I am a Junior Wonderbolt after all”
Rainbow Dash giggles as she pats Scootaloo’s head gently “Relax there, squirt. Remember, a Wonderbolt is as careful as they are great. Don’t get ahead of yourself when you get out there, ok?” Heh, that didn’t sound like her at all. You’d think Rainbow Dash would tell her to just be as attention whoring as possible. It was cute, she really was worried about Scootaloo. Or maybe she just matured or something. You dunno...
“Don’t worry! I got this! All I gotta do is smash that time, right?” Scootaloo looked back at her wings and gave them a flitter, she then looked towards the exit with a confident smirk “Easier done than said.”
Adorable. Well, if she was confident, then that meant she was gonna try her best without any doubt. You were going to need that to fulfill both Rainbow’s and Spoiled’s request. But then you look to Babs, wondering why she was here. “Babs, hey, what’s up? Where’s Applebloom and Sweetie Belle?”
“With the peanut gallery. As for me, came to give Scootaloo and you some advice before they throw you to the lions.” Babs said as she hopped off the couch and looked towards the exit, blowing her mane up a little when it got in her face “Yep, Mrs. R really overdid it. She has the whole thing set up like one of those crazy attractions over at Las Pegasus. Good thing I know how they pretty much work or else you guys would have been in a real world of hurt.”
Las Pegasus? Attractions? “What? What do you mean by that?”
Babs walks over to you and knocks on your forehead “Are ya kiddin’ me? Let me spell it out for you, these things are meant to trip up ponies to make em pay more moola to try again. Sure, you ain’t payin’, but if you don’t know the trick to em, then you’re gonna fail for sure.”
You swat her hoof away as you look at her, a little annoyed both at her knocking and the fact she didn’t seem to have faith in your natural abilities. “Hey! Come on, they don’t look that tough. Only real danger is that last one. I can do the rest, no problem.”
“Listen to her, Anon. She knows her stuff.” Rainbow Dash warns.
“Yeah, I know I’m already pretty good. But there’s stuff even I wouldn’t have considered without Bab’s help!” Scootaloo too, urges you to listen.
“Ok… Ok, sheesh. Alright, fine… Ern, so there’s a trick to them, huh? What is it then?” You ask. You found it a little odd Babs seemed to have this sort of insider info on an obstacle course. Even weirder however… “I mean, just saying, seems odd that Mrs. Rich would set us up to fail like that with a course we are meant to lose.”
“She probably didn’t realize it when she had all those worker ponies contracted. Really, you gotta know what you’re buyin’ into before you set these kinds of things up. Makes you look really dumb if everything goes wrong. But that’s what happens when you rush everything. Anyway, as I said, all of those obstacles were meant to trip you up, so here’s how to get past em…” And so, Babs went on to explain to you the tricks to the course.
First was the tube. She told you many ponies would get stuck or end up getting tired trying to get out of the rotating tube. The trick was to go in when the first bend was just about to go down. That way you can slide and push yourself along the poles. Then you are supposed to stop at the middle, and wait until the other half of the bend goes down, and simply repeat.
The next one was the pushing obstacle. Apparently, despite being on a track, it also has a spring that reacted when a certain pressure is reached. It was meant to slam it’s pusher backwards when they press in too much without stop. The trick was simple, stop pushing every few feet and take a few steps back to relieve pressure on the spring, and then keep on going, and repeat until you reach the other side.
The platforms? You felt you could do something like that without help, given your gaming prowess, but you said nothing as Babs went on to explain the trick. As confident as you were, even you knew what was at stake. Sure, you got a little arrogant when she mentioned the tricks beforehand, but that’s natural… You just tend to lose yourself sometimes. Anyway, the trick to the platforms was to wait for them to NEARLY align on the first set of jumps. Then, you had to make a set of consecutive jumps in a particular way. The first jump was at an angle towards the incoming platform, the second jump was to jump at the same angle you jumped the first time rather than aiming for the next platform. You thought it odd, but she explained that the momentum of the first platform will curve your jump enough to land on the platform, and that aiming for it doesn’t work due to said momentum, and the fact that waiting would cause you to miss the jump altogether. Then, it was the third jump that you make aim, as the middle platform didn’t move from it’s spot at all. You then repeat said jumps to get to the other side and to the next obstacle.
For the next two obstacles? Even Babs was at a loss for those two. The dragon obstacle, she admitted, was something that would never be commissioned as an attraction. And the tight vertical space up to said obstacle was just pure skill, and required a knowledge of climbing in the first place to manage. She said that she had confidence in the both of you to clear it anyway. But somehow, you just knew, she had her doubts. “..And there you go, that’s all I know. You can remember all that, right?” Babs asked you, looking into your eyes to see any sign of confusion.
But no, it seemed pretty cut and dry to you, so you nod in confidence. “Yeah, I got it. I’m ready to do this! Let’s go!”
“Yeah, hold your horses there, Anon. Still waiting for em to open that exit over there. As for being ready, did you do any of your morning stretches?” Dash asks you, though she could already see on your dumbfounded face that it was a big no.
“I mean… I walked here.” You say, rather sheepishly. Knowing she was gonna make you do exercises. Ugh, you hated exercising. It was busywork...
“Ugh, Alright, Anon. get goin’, I wanna see you stretch, jump, and get all those kinks out! I mean, sheesh! You’re not me, you know? You can’t just go into an obstacle course without loosening up first!” Rainbow Dash barks at you “Come on! One, two, one, two! Stretch those glutes!”
“Yeah, come on, Anon!” Scootaloo joins along, trying to motivate you. “She’s right! Foals like us gotta stretch it out first! Like this!” Scootaloo started to exercise and stretch with more vigor than you did, obviously trying to impress Rainbow Dash.
“Good work, Scootaloo! Show him how it’s done!” Rainbow Dash cheered her on.
D-dammit, these two. You understood that Rainbow Dash only wanted you to be ready, but her ego and Scootaloo’s fangasms weren’t doing you any favors. Besides, why did you need to stretch so much? You never had to before for anything dangerous and...wait, what is Babs doing?
She was staring at you exercise, rather intently, with a hint of… Blush?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH THE GODDAMN FEMALES OF THE APPLE FAMILY?! FIRST APPLEBLOOM! NOW BABS?! AND NOT TO MENTION GRANNY SMITH AND HER SEEING YOU AS A BEAR EVERY FUCKING TIME! AND APPLEJACK?! APPLEJACK?!... Applejack… Man, she really is boring.
When Babs noticed you looking back at her, she quickly looked away as she brushed her mane back and hopped back up onto the couch. For sure, she was admiring your cute yet more toned physique. Ok, now you were glad Diamond had been turned away by her mother. You didn’t need a round two with this shit.
You act casual, and look over to Babs as you did some pushups. “Hey, Babs, you alright?”
“Nothen…” Babs, as well, tried to act casual. “Just thinking about something…”
Probably your ass… “Right, you just looked a little off all of a sudden.”
Babs took a peek at you, then turned away again. “I said it wasn’t anything.” She insisted, huffed, then looked at you with curiousness “But I gotta ask, because it’s been buggin’ me since Applebloom sent me those letters. Why Diamond? I ain’t dissin’ her or anything like that. But you were friends with the crusaders first, right? I know Applebloom had a crush on you, so did Sweetie Belle… Um.” She looks to Scootaloo “Hey, did you have a crush on him?”
“WHAT?!” Scootaloo nearly fell over as all her concentration was nearly lost. “No! Ugh, Anon is cool and all. But his priorities are all messed up! He doesn’t even think Rainbow Dash is that cool! Kinda rude considering she’s been training him all this time.”
“I’m fine with that. I mean, I already know Anon can be super egotistical. But he’s still a good guy. If he was old enough, I’d take him out for some cider. And as far as coolness is concerned, I’d have to put myself… What’s that word Twilight used? Right, iota, Anon is a few iotas under me, which is ok in my book.” Rainbow Dash says, her ego unbroken.
But Scootaloo’s ego takes a hit as she looks to Rainbow Dash with a pout “A-am I c-cool? Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash snickered as she gave her a little boop on the nose “You’re practically family, Scootaloo. That’s a whole different kind of cool.” These words, it immediatly made Scootaloo cry happy little tears as she embraced Rainbow Dash in a hug, thanking her. You could tell just from Rainbow Dash returning such affection that she was true to her word.
Babs just looks at the two happily for a moment before looking back at you with a smirk. “So, you gonna answer that question or what?”
Right…
You pull your attention from the pair and look to her, trying to seem stoic in your answer. “I saved her life, she adored me, and I… Kinda fell in love with that. If you want a mature answer, Babs, it’s because I know that if I was ever lonely or feeling bad, she’d do her best to cheer me up. Sweetie Belle kinda seems selfish at times, to be truthful. And Applebloom… Applebloom…” You could see her raise an eyebrow from the notion you were going to say something negative about her cousin, you must have killed any attraction she had for you quick just by bringing her up in any kind of negative connotation.
You were silent, prompting her to approach you with a hostile stare “Yeah? What about my cousin? Hrm?”
You went silent. Holy crap, she looked like she wanted to hurt you really bad. And what could you do about that? You couldn’t hurt a girl! Well you could, but everyone and their mother would bitch at you about it. And this wasn’t the best of times for that considering what was at stake. You gulped “U-umm…”
Babs suddenly seems even more furious as she pulls her right front hoof back and… Flicks your nose? “Hah! Did I scare you that bad? So much for the hero colt. Relax, I was just messing with you.”
Dammit! HOW COULD YOU FALL FOR THAT ONE!? You knew for a fact that characters like these never get into a physical altercation that easily! Dammit, Anon! Fucking… “Ugh, cheap move. You’re a girl, I had to be ready in case it wasn’t a trick!”
“Sure, sure… Whatever you say. Relax, Anon.” Babs smirks at you as she backs up onto the couch with a giggle “If I really wanted to spook you, I’d tell you about this bridge back at home. Y’know…” She looks at you darkly “The one where nopony ever comes back from if they roast marshmallows under it. I’m sure you heard the legend. Though, the ways I see it, it seems to be true.”
“W-what?!” Scootaloo said, shivering from those words. “T-that can’t be real!”
Babs shrugs “Dunno myself…” She then really gives you the evil eye “But most of my sources says it’s true. Now that’s pretty spooky, ain’t it?”
But Babs’s disappointment slowly grows when she noticed you didn’t seem to react to that one at all. She found it odd, as everyone she’s told the story to usually seems to fear it. But to you? It was a stupid legend and a stupid attempt to give you another spook. Real childish shit, really. In fact, it gives you an idea. “It isn’t”
“Wha?! Yeah right! It’s practically true! They even say that right under the bridge, you can see chalk drawings suddenly appear, depicting the victims’ last moments before their taken!” Babs again, tries to spook you. But it only ends up making Scootaloo shiver behind Rainbow Dash. “You don’t think that’s crazy scary? You’re joshin’ me, right?” Babs was in disbelief.
She wants scary? Fuck it, time for scary. “Babs, I’ve seen things you wouldn’t even be able to comprehend. Like this one guy? Freddy Krueger. He hurt foals… He hurt them real bad… sometimes to their grave.”
“W-what?” Babs said, with sudden quivers in her voice, her expression showing she was the one now being spooked.
“Oh yeah…” You said with a smirk as you began to pace about, locking eyes with her “Ended up burning alive one day by some of the parents. But he vowed vengeance on their kids, through their dreams. Oh yeah, this guy was the anti-Luna. He would come in your dreams and do terrible things…”
“I-I don’t like this story… W-where did you even hear about this?” Scootaloo asked, scared to high heaven by your words. She couldn’t even hide it, it was much worse than anything she heard before.
“Yeeeeah, this is… I mean, I always wanted to hear a story that was super scary. B-but, this seems a bit much…” Even Rainbow Dash was uncomfortable, was she shivering? You thought you notice her tense for a moment.
“W-what do you mean by terrible things? C’mon, e-even if this was true, y-you can’t hurt nopony through their dreams.” Babs said with a gulp, clearly becoming terrified by your totally not stolen story.
“Oh, it was much worse than hurt. He would skewer, slice, rip their skin clean off, drop them, burn them, BLOW THEM UP INTO TINY PIECES. I mean this guy? He has a clawed horseshoe he uses to scare foals by tapping at metal pipes, or just goring them with it. You could tell he was coming by hearing these ghostly foals sing a song about him getting you, if you heard that song… You were done! And the best part of all this? Whatever he did to them in their dreams, they would scream a bloodcurdling scream in their sleep as their very bodies in the real world become a horrible guts n brain mess! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!” You cackled evilly, causing ALL THREE of the girls to grab each other in pure fright as they all screamed in terrible fear.
Wait… Not three… Four? Four screams?
You slowly look towards the exit to the course, which was now open, as Spitfire stood a few feet away from you. It seemed she had come in to get you all while you were in the middle of your story. But her yellow coat was partially white, her mane looked a little distorted, and her eyes were filled with fear from what you had said. Cleary, she had never heard of anything so gory.
“C-captain Spitfire? Erm, you ok?” Oh geez, you didn’t mean to spook her. Hell, you didn’t even know you could do that.
“W-wha? OH! NGh.. Ahrm” Spitfire very quickly composed herself, bringing her sunglasses down to cover her eyes. “I was just witnessing how your story managed to spook our young junior Wonderbolt. And sheesh, Crash, really? REALLY?! T-that’s j-just terrible, the w-way you reacted. S-should kick you out of the Wonderbolts just for that. Y-you’re lucky I-I’m nice though. Ahrm… Anyway, five minutes everypony, then you gotta get your k-keisters out there. Already did the o-opening speech and everything. I’m a… Ok, gonna go now… Seeya.” She very slowly turned around, and wobbled out. Was she even grossed out by that? Man, ponies are fucking weak… Heh.
“Yeah… I’m just gonna step out for some fresh air. I mean, I wasn’t scared or anything… Just… Wow, it’s really hot in here, huh? Seeya out there, you two” Rainbow Dash said with a weak chuckle as she stumbled out.
“W-wait! I-I feel hot too!” Scootaloo called out, rushing towards Rainbow Dash. Wanting to be by her side for comfort.
You then looked at the stunned Babs, and then smirk at her. “How was that?”
“Yeah… Wow” Babs had to lay her head down on the couch as she slowly gathered her senses “Now that’s s-scary. W-where did you even hear about something like that? I mean, that’s something even adults wouldn’t talk about. It’s crazy”
You shrugged arrogantly “It’s just a story. I don’t see how anypony could get spooked by that. I mean, like I said, I got spooked by your approach because I didn’t know if you were actually gonna hit me or not. As I said, can’t hit a girl.” HAHAHA! FUCKING VICTORY!
“Y-yeah, I think I get it now. I think I get your appeal too, there’s no colt tough enough to hear a story like that without falling over. You really are tough.”
You snicker as you rub your hoof along your chest “I don’t like to brag, but remember, I did do most of the work in defeating the Storm King.”
“Yeah, right, for sure. Anyway, erm, I wasn’t actually upset about what you may have thought about Applebloom. You two just don’t fit, that’s all. You may be Discord’s kid, but I guess that would just make somepony like you just want a way to relax and be comfortable. A filly that loves you and has a ton of cash can do that.” Babs surmises, figuring that to be the only reason as to why you chose her. It was mostly true, but there was also the fact that Diamond could be forceful as fuck if she wanted to be. Truly something you didn’t want to provoke too much out of her, but you did find it rather enticing sometimes.
“Yeah, and considering my Dad, money isn’t a big issue anyway. Don’t laugh, but sometimes I just like to lay down, relax, and enjoy a good cuddle. That doesn’t sound too wimpy, does it?” You ask, genuinely interested in what she thought since it seemed she was connecting with you about how you felt.
“Yeah, I get it. It all makes sense now. And Diamond is pretty lucky.” Babs said as she got up, and gave you a gentle touch on your nose with her own “Because you’re pretty cute.”
DON’T YOU DARE, ANON! DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING TURN RED!
“But I don’t think I could take all that cuddling stuff for too long, sounds boring. Besides, with all the stuff you can do in the city, who has time to sit around? Anyway, I’m gonna check on Scootaloo, make sure she’s ok. We only got like two minutes left, so if you gotta do a few more stretches, do em quick, ok?” Babs said as she stepped out, giving you one last look to take in your “cute”
She hadn’t noticed that you had frozen in place from her words and her touch. You were frozen for half a minute before you turned red and broke out in a sweat, falling over and twitching. “W-why can’t I just have a harem? I-it’d be so much easier…”
You were finally ready to step out and complete your physical training. To prove to yourself, and now many more, what you were capable off without the horn.
You steel yourself as you finally feel ready to take on the challenge without hesitation.
When you step outside, you could see the colosseum full of ponies as they cheer out loud at your sudden appearance. You could see a platform near the start of the course where Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Spitfire were standing on as Babs started to step off to head back towards the lobby you just exited.
Spitfire had a mic, but she wasn’t saying anything at the moment as she looked at you, waiting for you to step up to the platform. You began to approach as the crowd's cheers began to fill you with determination. As you look up, you could see two fancy booths. One had Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight, as well as Diamond and Spike. Celestia seemed to be having a delightful little chat with Diamond as Spike was doing his best to keep an obviously shaky Twilight from losing it. The other booth held the Riches themselves, and the “dignitaries” that Spoiled was trying to one up. You could also see a few familiar faces among the crowd as well. The CMC, Lyra, Bonbon, Pinkie Pie, You even saw Scrappy… But no Discord, he was obviously watching from somewhere. And also, no Fluttershy…
Mnnnn...
As you further approached the platform, Babs looked to you with a nod and said the genuine caring words of “Good luck” as she passed you by.
When you finally stepped up onto the platform, Rainbow Dash was quick to approach you before you got a chance to do anything else. “Alright, Rockhead, gotta give up the horn for this. Last thing I need is anypony accusing you of being a cheater. I swear, would knock em straight out if they heckled you” She said as she held her hoof out towards you.
Of course you’d have to give up the horn for this. Ugh, you felt very uncomfortable giving it up, but you knew Rainbow Dash was right. You felt, in an instance like this, you could trust her with it. So you give it up, as well as your saddle bag. “Here, so what now?”
“Just go stand next to Scootaloo. Captain Spitfire is gonna signal you both off when she finishes up this whole announcement thing.” Rainbow Dash says as she takes your things. She then smiles warmly towards you, and puts her hoof on your shoulder “You gotta be careful with that final trick, Anon. You and Scootaloo better knock this whole thing out, and show em all what you’re both made of.”
Rainbow Dash…
You could remember the early times you had with her. Her arrogance, her suspicions of you, her jerky attitude. But as you got to know her and hang around her, you began to realize she wasn't as top cunt as you once thought, enough to finally take her training course. For awhile, you had avoided this as you were too stubborn to want to deal with Rainbow Dash. But after losing to Tempest in your first encounter with her, after she had dodged everything you threw at her, even you had to accept there was merit to being athletic and strong. And so, it led to you accepting her offer, bettering yourself and your health, and feeling fulfilled with who you are as a hero. And Rainbow Dash herself was the one who made it happen, and you could feel that through your training with her, you and her had formed a bond you never thought would happen.
Still…
She wasn’t that cool…
You stood next to Scootaloo, standing proud for the crowd. Scootaloo took a moment to look at you with a smile, but she said nothing to you. She may have been instructed to keep focus, or maybe she just didn’t want to bother you. So you look back at her instead and ask “You alright, Scootaloo?”
“Huh? Oh…” Scootaloo looked at the crowd, and felt a bit of a nervous chill “It’s nothing, just thinking, that’s all.”
Scootaloo…
If there was one thing you couldn’t shake off, it was this brotherly feeling towards her. Was it her friendliness towards you? Or was it the fact that you still felt heavily responsible for what happened to her back when the changelings were stuck in your basement? Either way, you give her a friendly smile “If you’re worried about anything, relax. I’m gonna be with you, remember? I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise”
Scootaloo didn’t say anything at first, she looked down, then back at you with a weak smile “Thanks, Anon…”
You meant it. In the end, it wasn’t for Dash or Spoiled. It was your brotherly duty to protect her, no matter what. “No prob, we’re gonna do fine. We’re in this together, and we’re gonna dominate this together, understand?”
She nods, and almost dares for a hug. But with so many watching, she just holds back after taking a step towards you, and stands tall once more with only a single happy tear in her eye showing her true feelings towards your words.
“Alright everypony, I want you all to take note that this isn’t some grand show or anything close to it. This is a test for two young foals, a test to show just how much progress they have gained through their training. Passing this exam will be a sign of proof to themselves and those who witness it that they are truly ready for anything the world has to throw at them. Anon and Scootaloo, these two foals have come a long way in their own way to get this far, and given how this course is beyond the norm one is supposed to take, beating the target time will make their victory unquestionable. So to all of you, you better not blink!” Spitfire had started making the final announcement on her own accord. Although she seemed annoyed in her tone to be talking in such a grandiose way, she eventually got into it, she felt a sense of pride to be presenting two foals such as you and Scootaloo. “Because I can promise you that they're gonna crush this course with blazing speed! Heh, and I should know, one way or another, they were trained by one of my best.” Spitfire looks to Rainbow Dash with a spirited nod, making Rainbow Dash herself feel a buildup of pure pride. To the point that, as the crowd cheered and Spitfire hurried you two along to the starting line, Rainbow Dash flew up high to start the show.
Indeed, Spitfire was telling you both to get ready as quick as possible as she knew Rainbow Dash would cry out to start the run without even realizing it.
You and Scootaloo looked at each other with a fierce nod and sense of victory as Rainbow Dash flew high up in the air and cheered “LET’S GET GOING, EVERYPONY! AND I SWEAR! YOU BETTER CHEER FOR THESE TWO! NOW, ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO!” Rainbow Dash signaled as a team of Wonderbolts flew out in a wing formation from a nearby cloud. It seemed they had been waiting inside for a signal to just suddenly fly out and start the run with a bang. They were releasing a rainbow of explosions behind them that entertains and wows the crowd.
As for you and Scootaloo? Well… “Let’s go, Scootaloo!”
“Right!” Scootaloo yelled out as you both charged forward.
This was it, the final phase of your training, Spoiled’s revenge against the upper crust, and Scootaloo’s dream getting ever closer to being fulfilled. You couldn’t screw this up, you just can’t!
First were the hurdles, they were long enough for you and Scootaloo to run side by side and jump without smashing into each other. As you both jumped, Scootaloo managed to start to pull ahead by using her little wings for extra thrust. You were both impressed and jealous at such a feat as she slowly began to pass you up. Were you really unable to keep your momentum after a jump?
As you hopped and jumped, you could hear the crowd cheer you both on. But what about Spoiled? You knew what you had to do, but falling behind Scootaloo was probably not really good at the start of the exam. But how were you going to pull ahead? You had to use your head on this… Oh wait.
Since this was a battle against the clock, you knew there’d be no penalty for missing a hurdle. Or rather, smashing right through them with your head! You leaned your skull forward and started to smash through the hurdles without slowdown. In fact, your brute force was actually getting you past Scootaloo. Yes, it seemed your normal running speed was greater than hers, most likely due to the fact all the running around town you do already. Scootaloo may not have to make any jumps anymore, but she was having trouble keeping up with you as you clear the hurdles. Ha! There you go, Anon, keeping pace!
Next were the tires. Amazingly, you already had this one in the bag as you quickly step your right hooves and left hooves in the appropriate tires as Scootaloo loses even more ground with her attempts of side hopping into them. You thought about slowing down, but dammit, you were actually on a roll over here! HAHA!
After passing the tires, the mud trench was next. When you stepped into it, you found yourself actually slowing down and slipping about as you tried to focus on running forwards. But with your balance so wavy, you found it difficult just moving in a straight line. “D-dammit, w-what’s wrong with me? I should be able to do this one...huh?” As you nearly get halfway, you hear a whirring sound going on behind you. And whatever it was, it was blasting towards you at a wicked pace.
You don’t even have a chance to look back as you are suddenly splashed with mud. Some of the crowd were in laughter and cheers at whatever happened. When you clean off your face and look forward, you could see Scootaloo speeding through, flapping her wings like a hummingbird to jet through the trench like a hovercraft.
“Fuck!” you cry out as you start rushing forward, tripping and sliding as you try to get out of the damn trench! Scootaloo was already on the climb and you were way back here! She was gonna be at the final obstacle at this point! You had to move!
It takes you a bit, enough to make you fear making Spoiled look bad, but you do get out of the trench. Covered in mud, sure, but you were out. You also found yourself frustrated at Scootaloo as you reached the incline board and shook yourself off before climbing. When you looked up, you were surprised to see that she was still climbing it as well. She was having trouble keeping her hooves in place due to how muddy they were. She was sliding back every now and again as she held on tight the best she could. You just stared for a moment, it was just a diagonal incline climb, how could she be having trouble?
But when you heard, even from the beginning of the climb, her whine that she can’t fail Rainbow Dash, your heart sunk. She said it in a strained way that almost sounded like she was in tears, you realized that any jealousy you had was petty at that moment. And this realization was good to have so early in the run too, god only knows what would have happened if you got jealous during the end. “Don’t worry, Scoots, I got ya!” You cry out to her as you quickly wipe your hooves along the board, take a few steps back, and just start running up the incline as quickly as possible. Maybe it was cartoon physics, or maybe it was divine intervention, but you weren’t slowing down as you catch Scootaloo upon your forehead and start pushing her up until your both reach the top and tumble forward, stopping right behind the slow spinning tube.
“Wha, huh?” Scootaloo fell on her tummy, and stood up in surprise when she realized she had reached the top with your help. She looked down at you and noticed you were on your back. And then that's when you yourself could see it, as if looking into her very soul...
As she reached her hoof to you and said “C’mon, Anon! We can’t slow down for even a second!”, you realized that your jealousy, even as short as it was, was still misplaced. You let out a sigh of relief and chuckle as you grab her hoof, thanking deep down that your jealousy was quickly killed as you try to steel your mind as to not let it happen so easily. That kind of stuff had gotten you in trouble before, your emotions to be exact. Even before Tempest, it had led to you getting smashed, namely by a Chimera you wouldn’t have had to be smooshed by had you thought things out a little better.
When you and Scootaloo approach the spinning tube, you look to each other and try to figure something out. “Ok, Scoots. Do you wanna go in first, or should I? I know there are poles in there placed to slow us down. So if we both go in, it’s really possible we might get stuck.”
“Well, the clock is still ticking, right? So we’re gonna need a quicker way through. I saw how you handled those hurdles… so, uh… Think you can do that to the poles too? Your helmet will protect your head enough, right?” Scootaloo asked. It seems she really was impressed with how you handled the hurdles back at the start of the run. “I mean, you were pretty unstoppable back there. Not even that incline stopped you!”
How did you not even think of that beforehand? Your head was pretty damn durable. If it could smash through those hurdles, then some poles shouldn’t mean crap! Hell, you didn’t even need to follow Bab’s advice for this one. “I was pretty unstoppable, wasn’t I? Ok, Scoots, stand back!” You reach up and push your helmet a tad forward as you prepare to step into the rotating tube. “Oh yeah! It’s Anon time!”
“You can do it!” Scootaloo cheered you on as you waited for the bend in the tube to decline downwards. Once it did, you went down head first until you slid into some poles stabbed across the tube randomly along the inside. Holy shit! This really was a quick one night rush job. Even if you were to try to get through it normally, the poles were placed in such a way that squeezing between them was near impossible. Even worse! They were made of metal, when you expected wood.
“Oh no…” You silently whined as you prepared to smash your head on the first pole. You had to remember who this was for, you had to remember that you couldn’t fail. “S-Scootaloo! Follow me!” You said in a shaky voice as you quickly started to smash your head down at the metal poles as hard as you can. Oh god! Even with the helmet, tearing through the poles , this was hurting like hell!
“Woah…” Scootaloo said as she passed by the broken metal “Anon… Are you alright over there? These are made of metal… Geez, you really did get stronger.” She was further impressed by how powerful you seemed.
As you reach the middle of the rotating tube, you looked ahead as you felt your balance and sight begin to waver. And yet, even as the tube turns enough for you to make your way down once again, you found the strength to move forward. Or maybe it was because you had trouble thinking at that point. “Oh, i-it’s no problem Scootabloom Belle. Hey, have you ever been licked in the ponut before?”
“Doughnut? Uh, I normally just...eat them?” Scootaloo said as she slowly followed, finding your question odd.
“...Ugh, I hate vore” You say to yourself as you begin to smash through the last set of poles, finally breaking through as you wobble forward out of the tube and fall forward, right on your face as your body twitches on it's own. “I feel like I was hit by a train… Ugh.”
Scootaloo quickly stepped out of the tube before it rotated back up, and stepped to your side as she leaned down to ask you a question. She didn't seem to think you had a concussion or anything, she probably just thought you were a little dazed, hence her lack of urgency. She was very curious about something though. “Anon? You ok? Can I ask you something?”
You just groan, looking ahead at the large pushblock that was the next challenge. “Y-yeah?”
“What’s vore? Does that have to do with eating doughnuts or something? Never heard of it before.”
Your eyes go wide as you immediately stand up and look at her with crazy eyes, realizing that should she ever find out, her mind would be corrupted FOOORRREEEVVVERRR. As her pseudo-bro, you could not allow this! “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS! AND IT’S A DUMB WORD! STUPID DUMB! DON’T EVER SAY IT AGAIN! IT’S SO UNCOOL IT MAKES STEVE URKEL LOOK LIKE THE SUAVEST GUY EVER!”
“Ok! Ok! Woah!” Scootaloo stepped back, a little scared from your reaction. “Ok then, a-at least I know you’re ok. Erm… But… I kinda…” Scootaloo felt she was kind of a master when it came to cool and uncool, and there was something you had mentioned yet again that seemed off to her. “I really gotta ask, because I never even heard of that before… But… What is a Steve Urkel?”
What’s a Steve Urkel? Oh god, to be young and of another universe. Sure the character from “Family Matters” didn’t start out so bad when the focus wasn’t on him. But as the show went on, he became a force so powerful and annoying, that you could still hear his annoying laugh and shitty catch phrase echo in your mind. Your crazed phase shatters completely as you let out a heavy sigh and walk past Scootaloo, feeling calm and cool “Don’t worry about it Scootaloo, all it does is bring back painful memories.”
“Did I do that?!” Scootaloo gasped as she rushed up from behind you, looking at you with a sad and apologetic expression “I’m really sorry if I brought up any bad memories from when you were human, Anon. I… forget sometimes, y’know, how bad you said it was for you. You forgive me, right?”
You cringe at her first set of words. But the last set, yeah, you forgot you may have mentioned some things that sounded sadder than what normal foals deal with. You giggle a little as you step up to the push block and put your hoof on it, looking at it with a fierce expression. “Don’t worry about it, Scoots, really, it’s ok. Just do me a favor…”
“Yeah?” Scootaloo asked, as she too readied herself on the pushblock, feeling relieved that you didn’t seem so angry.
“Don’t ever be a Steve Urkel, ok? Ok... Anyway, we have a course to crush, so push!” You began to push on the pushblock as hard as you could.
“Dunno what that first part means… But ok!” Scootaloo said, pumping her hoof as she joined you on the push.
This was by far the easiest of the obstacles. Well, actually, it was only easy thanks to Babs. You both push as hard and quickly as possible, only releasing some pressure every few moments, until eventually you get the pushblock to the other side, allowing you both to stand in front of the next challenge, the rotating platforms… And oh boy, this was much more intimidating up close than it was from afar.
“So, how did Babs say to do this one?” You ask. You were sure you remembered, but at the same time, you needed to make sure you weren’t mistaken.
“We wait for the platform, jump, then we jump straight to catch the next one, then jump towards the middle platform. Easy peasy, I’m not even worried about this one.” Scootaloo said as she prepared herself “I do jumps like these all the time on my scooter, and if I can do it, so can you, right Anon?”
You already got this far, and you felt platforming shouldn’t be too hard. You walk over to the edge of the platform you’re on and look down at the water. There was a ladder that only led up to the side you’re on. So yeah, falling in would definitely slow you down. “Yeah… No problem, righ-SCOOTS?!” You say in surprise as Scootaloo already jumps, makes the second jump, then jumps again to the middle platform. “Scoots?! What are you doing?!”
“What’s it look like? We still gotta do this under the target time, right? So come on! Don’t be so slow, Anon, sheesh! We’ll never make it if you just stand there!” And just as Scootaloo said, she is able to easily make the jumps as if they were second nature to her. To you, it really was quite amazing to see her manage those jumps,she really was more skilled than she appeared. You really thought you were going to have to carry her most of the way, and boy, were you glad you were wrong.
“Alright! Alright! Heh” You snickered as you prepared to make your jumps. “And I thought I was supposed to be the hero colt! Welp, better not disappoint the crowd. Here… I… GO!” And you go to make your own series of jumps. While not as elegant as Scootaloo’s, you still reach the middle platform to the cheers of the crowd.
“Yeah! C’mon, Anon! One more time!” Scootaloo cheered you on “We only got the climb and the dragon after this!”
Alright, just focus, just do what you did last time. Wait for the platforms to nearly sync up and…GO!
You make your jumps once again, however, this time, you lose your footing on the last platform due to a misstep, making your last jump not being enough to clear the gap. “O-OHHH SHIIII… huh?” You felt like you were hanging from something, and you didn’t feel wet at all. “Huh?” When you look up, you could see Scoots struggling with her forelegs to hold your own hoof as she desperately fluttered her wings to pull herself back. “Scoots?”
“A-Anon! GNNNNGH! C-C’mon! S-start g-getting up already! I-I can’t h-h-h-hold you forever!” Scootaloo said as she strained herself to keep you from falling.
You pulled yourself up upon realizing Scootaloo and caught you, and fell on your belly as Scootaloo fell on her back. “Wow! Scoots! That was…” No seriously, you thought that was it for the run. Scootaloo saving you was ridiculously cool! “That was amazing! I’ve never seen reflexes like that before. You saved me from falling. T-thanks…”
Scootaloo stood up slowly, giving you an accomplished grin “Well, I had to save you, Anon. We gotta finish this thing together, right? Nopony left behind. As for my reflexes… Erm.” Scootaloo chuckled nervously “It was more assuming you might mess up than anything else… That’s still ok, right?”
wut? She thought you were gonna fall anyway?! T-that hurt...
...Fine, just roll with it, she still saved you. Smile, and fucking roll with it. But…
No, geez, fuck man! How could she have expected you to screw up that jump?! You’re a platforming master! Y-you just misstepped, that's all. Happens all the time… “Y-yeah, it’s fine. But…” You take a breath, calming yourself as you walk over to the tight chute that led to the dragon platform. “What about this though? how do we get up here?”
Scootaloo looked upon the chute, and began to circle around it as she looked up. “I dunno…” And then her ears perk up, then droop “But the crowd is calling your name…”
Hm? You barely noticed the crowd at this point, but when you gave a listen, you could hear them chanting “Anon!”. But what they weren’t chanting was… “Scoots, you ok?”
“Yeah, i’m fine…” She said with a low whine as she looked up at you with a fake smile “Everypony really just came to see you, right? I kinda butted in on this in the first place, so I understand. I mean, you’re the hero colt and Rainbow Dash’s trainee, that makes you more than amazing a-” But Scootaloo stops when you put a hoof on her shoulder, you looked at her with a smile “A-Anon?” She looked to you with confusion and sadness.
You may have your differences, and you may get jealous and angry, but Scootaloo was a real friend, one of the only CMC who would stand by your side more often than not. To see her sad because the crowd weren’t rooting for her was not something you’d allow. “Scoots, listen to me. Who cares who they root for? I can see on your face that you do, but you know what? Those ponies up there aren’t Rainbow Dash, or the elements, or the Princesses, Spike, Applebloom, Babs, Sweetie Belle… Why, I bet Scrappy is... erm... tearing up some faces right now for not cheering for you... ”
Scootaloo cringed at that “Ow, I-I don’t think he’d do that… But, he would be pretty upset about it, the not cheering for me thing, I mean. Erm, are you trying to say that all that matters is our friends cheering for me? For us?” Scootaloo’s expression changed to wonder, hoping your reply was a positive one.
You just give her a simple grin. “Pretty much, not like you’re gonna see any of these other guys anyway. Trust me, Rainbow Dash is probably already gushing from when you saved me back there. ‘That’s Scootaloo for you, she really is the true hero here in Ponyville!’ She’d say! “
Scootaloo giggled lightly and waved her hoof at you “Ok, ok, now you’re coming on too strong. But, heh, thanks, Anon, I really needed that.” She does a light jump towards you to give you a big friendly hug, you could hear her softly coo as she nuzzles into you a little. It makes you slightly uncomfortable, as you knew Diamond was watching, but you also knew Scootaloo was just being affectionate in thanks to a friend who cheered her up.
After that, you both nodded to each other and looked upon the shaft once more. “So, got any ideas, Anon?”
You just stare at it. You can’t wall jump, and climbing up the shaft seemed rather difficult given how high up it goes, especially since it’s a straight shot up. “I’m thinking…”
Scootaloo tries giving it a few jumps while pressing her hooves on the sides to try to press herself along the wall, but it just wasn’t good enough, the shaft was just wide enough for her not to be able to press herself firmly to keep in place. “Darn it! Come on! Ugh… There’s got to be a way! We’re wasting time!”
You kept your focus on the shaft as you sifted through every tactic you could think of in every video game you ever played. But none of it, NONE OF IT, was of any use! Fuck! You were both going to lose if you couldn’t think of something!
“If the shaft was a little more tight, we’d be able to press our backs on it and walk up. But darnit…” Scootaloo kicks the side of the shaft with aggravation.
Scootaloo gains your attention with the banging sound of her buck. You look over to her and frown about the entire situation. “Relax Scoots, we’re not gonna be able to think of something if we get upset.”
“I know, but how are we gonna get up there?! Ugh, if only I could fly, I’d get us up there for sure.” Scootaloo said as she tried to push her back along the walls again.
You just watched as you pondered, and as you pondered, an idea outside of gaming started to fill your head. You could remember an animated movie where a llama and a human pressed their backs together to climb up walls as close together as the shaft in front of you. Was that the key? Holy crap! WAIT! DOES THAT EVEN WORK?! “Scoots! I got a plan! That thing you’re trying to do? That’s how we’re gonna do it!”
“Wha? But… It’s not working. I’ve been trying to do it, but I just can’t get it right.” Scootaloo said, confused as to why you thought it was a good plan after she herself had failed multiple times.
“Ahhh! True!” You say with a smirk as you walk past her and into the shaft. You then sit down and put your hooves on one side of the wall. “But if we need to make a tighter space to climb, then how about we just press our backs together until we can press our hooves hard enough to stick in place? Then all we gotta do is sync up our pace as we walk right up.”
“Woah…” Scootaloo walked into the shaft and looked up, she was both impressed and in wonderment “You mean, just walk straight up by pressing our backs together?”
You nod “Exactly!” You look at her with the fierce look of deterministic friendliness “If we’re gonna take down that dragon together, then we’re gonna have to get to it together first! You and me, Scoots! We’re gonna bring it on home!” You hold your hoof out to her “You’re with me, right?”
“To the ends of Equestria!” Scootaloo says with a cheer as she puts her hoof on yours “Let’s go!” She breaks contact and preps her back to be pressed against yours.
Scootaloo, a true blue friend indeed. “To the ends of Equestria” she said, and that made you nearly tear up. When it came to the CMC, Scootaloo truly was the best out of all of them, one you’d definitely take back every “simple-minded” comment and thought you had in the past... if you ever got the chance to talk to her about it without hurting her feelings. In any case, you join your back with hers, and with hope within both your hearts, you attempt to move upwards.
“W-woah! It’s k-kinda tough to move, b-but we’re doing it!” Indeed, both you and Scootaloo were straining yourselves as you both strived to maintain asynchronous movement upwards. But it was, in fact, working, you both were moving up through the chute with the power of teamwork!
“Y-yeah, ngh, we’re almost there! Keep at it, Scootaloo!” You were struggling as much as she was. You thought this would be easier, but it really was tough moving straight up. With every step, your legs and hers shook and buckled. Even as you both reached the top, you could feel your muscles giving out. “N-ngh… S-scootaloo, how’re doing? Y-you ok?” You said with a pant.
“F-fine, ngh, n-never better.” Scootaloo was straining her words harder than you were. “W-we’re almost there! D-don’t give up!” Scootaloo was mustering as much energy she could for the last few steps. Even if she was more tired than you were, she wasn’t close to giving up, her spirit was too strong for that. It inspired you to push yourself as hard as you could to make it to the top.
“Almost... a-almost! NGH, THERE!” Both you and Scootaloo, upon reaching the top, push yourselves forward and grab onto the upper edges of the shaft and tiredly brings yourselves up to the final and largest platform of all. You may have felt tired, but you were still determined to win the fucking day with one of your best pals. “S-scootaloo, we did it! We’re at the top!”
Scootaloo took a moment to rest and catch her breath “I-I know! One more obstacle to go, all we gotta do is… is… uhhhh…” When she looked up, she noticed the dragon statue was facing away from the both of you, and very slowly rotating. “This is it? It’s not even looking at us.”
You also took notice of this, you also felt your ears twitch as you caught the distinct noise of what sounded like metal twisting upon itself, but that was probably due to the machinery meant to rotate it. The dragon was meant to be somewhat dangerous to the both of you, but with that slow rotation speed, it wasn’t going to be hard at all. “Yeah, it’s moving super slow too. Is it supposed to be so slow?”
“Dunno, it looked like it was moving faster when I saw it before. Hah!” Scootaloo said with arrogance as she began to stand “And look at it’s flame!” She points to the fire coming out of the dragon’s mouth, it was much smaller than even you remember it. “It’s puny! Anon, this is going to be really easy!”
You also take notice that the edges of the platform started spouting large flames upwards to form an outer ring of fire. It spooked you, but it seemed Scootaloo was expecting it. You could hear the crowd in awe from the spectacle as they await the victory you and Scootaloo so longed for. It was almost disappointing to see how easy this was going to be. All you both had to do was grab the doll from it’s clutches, and it’d be yours.
“So, how are we going to do this, Anon?” Scootaloo asked as she slowly followed the dragon’s rotation as to always keep at it’s backside.
“How else? Just climb up from the back and grab the doll. All this work for something so easy, it almost feels like the exam would have been better in its original form.” You could see from the backside that the black metal dragon has a large torso with fins traveling the spine of it’s back and down to it’s long curled tail. It was also slightly hunched forward, which meant it’d be pretty easy to climb. “Know what I mean?”
“Yeah, it does kind of stink that it’s gonna end like this. I gotta admit though, it was pretty cool running it with you.” Scootaloo chuckled to herself “Actually, I could kind of imagine us beating a bad guy together. It’d be so rad!”
Maybe for her. But it was that sort of thinking that caused her to be an emotional meal for the changelings. “Y-yeah, I guess. Erm, anyway, I’m gonna just climb up there and grab the doll. Just stick behind me in case I lose my grip. If I screw up, then it’s gonna be up to AGHHHHHHHHHHH!” You scream in pain as you touch the dragon’s back. It was beyond scalding hot!
“Anon! Anon! Are you ok?! What happened?!” Scootaloo rushed over to you as you shook your hooves and whined in pain.
“Ngh! Gah! It’s hot! The dragon is like, stupid hot!” You were blowing on your hooves to cool them down. Shit! You could swear you had some burns on your hooves.
“Hot?” Scootaloo approached the dragon and put her hoof over the tail. Her eyes went wide when she felt the hot aura of the metal flow along her leg. “Woah! What the?! That’s way too hot! How are we supposed to get up there?! And…” Scootaloo walks over to you and closer inspects your hoof. She could see small burn marks on your frog. “Anon, hold on.” She hocks up a loogie, and spits on the marks. “There we go! That should help.”
W-wut? I-it did kind of cool down your burns, b-but “Uhhh, Scoots? Why did you do that?”
“Well, how else was I supposed to cool your hoof down? That stuff is hot, Anon, and that’s all I had to cool it down.” Scootaloo said, a little irritated with your questioning, and yet worried about your injury. “Anon, we gotta be careful, ok? But… We gotta figure something out soon.” She looks back up at the doll, and felt time was running out “But what to do? Just… how?”
You slowly put your hoof down back on the ground. You know Scootaloo was just worried, and your hoof does feel better, but that was still kind of weird. But you didn’t have time to wonder about that anymore, you had to figure this out. “ I dunno. It’s too hot to get close, I can’t jump that high, there’s nothing we can use to poke it down and…” You look over at Scootaloo’s wings, it would be really great if she could fly right now. “Yeah… I’m kind of dumbfounded here.” And as you stared, the creeping feeling of failure started to crawl upon you. You could feel frustration nestle into your mind. How could something so close still be so far? “How?! Just how did they expect us to get up there?!”
“I dunno! Grrr, HYAH!” Scootaloo just jumps for it, but even with the little extra height from her wings, the doll is too high. If you were to measure the statue, it was about fifteen feet, with the doll being nine feet up, right in it’s right hand. “DARN! DARN DARN!” Scootaloo’s anger had welled up faster than yours, getting more frustrated with every jump. “Rainbow Dash is expecting us to win! We can’t let her down! Ngh! NGH! COME ON!” She gave it a few more jumps, but she just wasn’t able to clear the gap.
Fuck! You didn’t have an answer for this! How?! What other option did you have?! You can’t jump high enough to reach it. There’s nothing you could do! It’s impossible! You even thought about braving the burns to climb the statue, but even you weren’t that crazy. “I can’t believe this! Why would anypony set it up like…Wha?!” Suddenly, the entire platform shook for a moment as you heard a booming sound coming from inside the dragon.
“What was that? And, wha?! What’s up with the dragon?” Scootaloo steadies herself and points to the dragon as it’s suddenly covered in an emerald green magic aura.
When the aura appeared, the shaking and sounds stopped, as did the minor rotation of the dragon. “What in the…” That glow, it seemed so familiar “I don’t know. M-maybe it’s the magic in the gears or something? U-ummm…” You couldn’t say it, you couldn’t say what you really thought. And what’s worse, the heat coming off the dragon seemed to be growing as you could feel it flow past you. “I-is it getting hotter? Or is it just me?”
“I think it’s the statue. Anon, I-I think something’s up.” Scootaloo said as she started stepping backwards, her ears drooping as she noticed the aura slowly begin to shatter. The dragon then begins to shake “W-what’s happening? Why is the dragon shaking like that?”
You couldn’t answer. That aura, it was too familiar. It just couldn’t…
“Anon!” Scootaloo shouts, pointing at the dragon’s torso as it shakes violently “Something’s happening!”
You both just stare, just trying to figure out what’s going on as the statue makes one more violent shake before spinning backwards at a rapid speed, it’s top half exploding into a spiraling flame that launches metal shards and the doll straight up in the air. All you could do is stare as fireballs started to rain down from the sky as the crowd gasped and cheered.
“Anon!” Scootaloo yelled “Snap out of it!”
You shake your head and begin to step back as the flame of the dragon’s blown body descend upon random parts of the platform. “Crap! It exploded! It freaking exploded!”
“Agh! Ngh! Woah!” Scootaloo hopped about, doing her best to dodge the flames as she drew near you. “What’s going on?! This can’t be part of the test, all this fire is real! What’s wrong with the crowd?! Why aren’t they helping us?! Hey! Somepony! Anypony! Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo screamed out for help, but the roars of the flames were louder than her small voice. She began to whimper as she let out a low. “Help…”
You too begin to weave about the flames as more of the platform began to burn and sizzle with intense heat. You could feel yourself break into a sweat as you try to figure out how to get out of this. As for the crowd… “They must think this is still part of the exam! Darnit… Ngh.” Everywhere you looked was a dead end covered in flames. What were you going to do?!
“But it’s not! This is… This… ” Scootaloo backed up into you, and hid her face on your side as she began to shiver in fright. “I can’t handle this! A-Anon, I’m scared! I-I... “ Scootaloo couldn’t finish her sentence. You could guess she had never been in such a dangerous and lethal situation such as this. It must be even worse for her considering Rainbow Dash, and even the princesses, weren’t too far off and doing nothing to help.
You yourself were scared. Where the fuck was Discord? Surely he could see things were fucked! Dammit, couldn’t Celestia see it?! Surely she wouldn’t let it go on this long without a reason! You look to your side to see Scootaloo, huddling as close as she could for safety as the flames were drawing closer around you both. “Dammit! No! It can’t end like this! I didn’t even get to bone Dia-woah!” Suddenly, you are stopped when the doll comes flying down in front of you, utterly unscathed. You just looked at it, noticing the princess outfit had not received a single burn. It must have gone really high.
High...
High enough to escape the heat and the flames.
Flames create heat…
You look down at the frightened filly’s wings, and it started to make you think. Scootaloo could probably get some lift from the hot air rising from the flames. The poor filly, she barely got to live her life, and now things were coming to an end. Dammit, why was no one saving you two? Could they really not see things have gone to shit? If nothing was done, you’d both be dead soon.
You looked upon the growing flames once more. Holy shit, you were really gonna do this. You already lived a good life, right? And you had enough good times as a pony to be content, right? Scootaloo though? She hadn’t even got to truly fly yet. You had to get her to safety somehow. There was a moat at the bottom of the platform that you knew for sure would be safe for her to dive in, maybe you could make that work.
Well, if you really were gonna do this, at least you’d go to pony heaven right after. “Scootaloo” You move away and then turn towards her “Scootaloo, I want you to listen to me.” You gently place your hooves on her cheeks and raise her head so you could look into her scared crying eyes. “You’re gonna be ok, alright?” You said in a rather calm manner.
“B-but…” Scootaloo looks around “H-how?” She couldn’t see a way out.
“Just flap your wings, alright? As hard as you can.” Oh god, you really were going to do this, weren’t you? You’d think you’d be more scared, but given Scootaloo’s reaction to the flames, all you felt compelled to do was save her. You carefully stand on your hind legs and balance yourself as you forcibly grab Scootaloo and hold her up high with your forelegs. Man, you could even lift her more easily and balance yourself thanks to the training. “Just flap…” You say as tears finally fill your eyes.
“Anon…? ANON!? NO! WAIT! YOU CAN’T! WHAT ABOUT YOU?!” Scootaloo struggled to get down. Heh, despite her fear, she didn’t want to leave you behind. What a good kid.
And as your tears grew, and fear welled up inside you, your final words to her came to mind. “Scootaloo, I could give you a whole spiel about this being what a true hero does, and that you’re more important than me and all that. But really? Please… Oh god… just get somepony before I become cooked beef.” And then you do it, you hurl her as high and as hard as possible, your adrenaline powering your throw further.
“ANON! NO! ANOOOON!” Was the last thing you heard from her as she flew above the flames and past the platform's edge. falling into the moat below.
You look at the Diamond doll, and hug onto it tightly as the flames were close enough to make you feel as if you were melting. “Welp, Diamond, we’re finally alone…” You say with a sniff “It doesn’t get much steamier than this, right? Ha…” You just look at the smiling face of the doll, and chuckle weakly. “T-take that, fucktards. I fucking beat the course…” You said, crying out one last giggle.
And as you waited, you suddenly hear metal twist and fall as the platform began to tilt, crack, and tip. “What in the… OH SHIT!” The flames had began to contort, warp, and melt the metal holding the platform up. It could no longer stand as it tilted backwards towards the platform with the chute. “Gyah! Crap! CRAP!” You start to slide down, unable to grasp anything as the platform snaps off its foundation and falls with you, crashing into the lower platform as you are taken down with it into the moat.
You found yourself quickly entering the familiar embrace of darkness as you sunk into the moat with the fallen course. Indeed, there was no possible fucking way to survive this time.
That is, until you heard a familiar ringing tone in your ear...
When you opened your eyes, you could only see murky darkness and the ruins of the platforms you once stood on. When you looked down, you were slightly floating above a dusty ground, and looking up were the lights of the Colosseum breaching an otherwise obscure and wavy vision. You also noticed you seemed rather weightless.
Indeed, when you noticed bubbles going upwards, your eyes widened when you realized you were underwater and lacked breath. Immediately you grabbed at your neck as you held on for the last of your life. And worst yet, your ear was ringing a familiar tone through all of this. As you felt your life fade, you realized that if Discord heard you dying, he may realize what’s going on and come save you. So you weakly bring your hoof to your ear, and utter “D-Discord…”
“Ahh! Anon!” You hear Discord in usual joyous form. “I wanted to call you to let you know that we still had these codec things. I feel rather foolish, actually.”
You just groan and whimper “D-Discord, h-help…”
“Yes, that’s exactly it, Anon. ‘Help’. Do you realize you could have called me right when the whole Storm King thing started? I could have cleared up that whole mess in two seconds. Isn’t that funny? Everything could have been avoided with a single little call. I can tell you, I’m still having a chuckle over it.” Discord says as he has a little giggle.
Your eyes twitched with anger when you realized he didn’t give a damn. You just shook and started screaming at him with every fiber of your being. “DISCORD! YOU FUCK! I’M HERE DROWNING AND YOU’RE JUST NOW TELLING ME THIS?! YOU SHIT! I’LL KILL YOU!”
“Well now…” Discord said in an insulted tone “And here I thought you’d find that funny. But I forget how delusional you can be.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” You screeched.
“Well, if you were drowning, then how am I hearing you so clearly? Plus, you’ve been underwater for over a minute and a half now, not exactly something I’d expect you to be able to do.”
“Wha?” You dared to take breath, and found you were able to take in the water as if it was oxygen, or something like that. “How am I breathing underwater? Could ponies always do that?”
“No. No they can’t. But with my special safety gear I gave you this morning, you are able to survive anything lethal, such as drowning. Pretty nifty, hmm? I figured you’d complain if I gave you something that’d protect you from anything, given this exam, but I still decided to plan for the worst, just in case.” Discord explains.
So, is that why no one came to save you? “I see, you just wanted to make sure I passed the exam legitimately while still protecting me and Scootaloo. I guess that’s fine, especially-... Wait. Is that why we weren’t being rescued?! Did you cause the platforms to fall?! Holy shit, Discord. That’s amazing! I bet the crowd were glued to their seats over that one.” But Discord doesn’t speak when you say that, it suddenly made you rather uncomfortable. “Discord?” You say, feeling a chill up your spine.
“...Well, Anon, about that. One, Scootaloo had none of my protection, but she’s safe, you threw her hard enough that she flew all the way passed the platform's edge.” Discord said in a meek tone.
“WHAT?!” You bellowed “ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!” You felt anger once again well up inside you, did Discord really risk her life? Knowing she could die? Why would he do all this?! “Why?! Tell me why!”
Discord takes a breath, and speaks in a more calm manner. Hearing your anger and your accusations, he calmed himself as to clearly explain that you were wrong. “I would if any of that was my doing or intention. I had nothing to do with the dragon statue exploding. A nice touch, but it caught me by surprise, as it did a few others. Namely the Wonderbolts, Mrs. Rich, and the Princesses. And, may I add, Twilight’s reaction was absolutely exquisite, though Celestia is rather sore at me right now, perhaps a little more than sore.”
He didn’t do it? Then that green glow... Could it be? No, that’s impossible. The most likely explanation was that whatever magical force that was operating the statue overloaded. That was probably the source of the metal crunching noises and the slow rotation of the statue. Also, he didn’t mention Diamond, nor did he explain why Celestia is upset at him. Hell, that really doesn’t explain why nobody came to save you or Scootaloo in the first place. “Why? Why would she be mad at you if you didn’t do anything wrong? Mmnnn… Discord, is Diamond ok? Does she know what actually happened?”
“No, but her and the rest of the crowd are getting rather antsy with you being underwater for so long, not to mention that Mrs. Rich is doing her darndest to explain to her peers that it’s all part of the exam. Oh, speaking of, you do have two minutes left to clear it before failure. All in all, still very doable even with your current predicament. As to why Celestia is angry at me, well, that has more to do with your question as to why nopony came to save you.”
Wut? “What do you mean by that?”
“Well…” Discord stopped for a moment “You weren’t wrong when you said they were glued to their seats. Especially in the literal sense.”
Your eyes bug out from anger once again “YOU GLUED THEM TO THEIR SEATS?! WHAT THE FUCK?! DISCORD! SCOOTALOO COULD HAVE BEEN HURT! OR WORSE! WHAT IF I DIDN’T THROW HER GOOD ENOUGH? HUH?! CELESTIA HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT YOU. WHAT THE HELL, MAN?! THOSE FLAMES WERE FUCKING REAL!”
Discord again takes another calming breath. “I’m aware, and as I said, your toss was good enough for our young pegasus friend to dip into the moat and swim to safety. I also happen to know how important this whole thing is to our dear future relatives. Indeed, this extra bit of chaos will do wonders for everypony involved once you finish this exam. Speaking of which, Anon, you need to make a choice at this moment. Either stay there and complain at me, or come up and reap the rewards of victory. It’s your choice. I did what I felt was right, and protected you and what you were striving for. And you, being the hero colt, chose Scootaloo over your own life, and rescued her from the inferno. It’s almost like one of those old plays from the younger days of Equestria, the kind where heroism and sacrifice wins the day in the end. The choice is yours Anon. If you want to talk more about it, then wait until tonight when you return home. As for me, I’m going to take in a bit more of Twilight’s reactions. See you soon, Anon.” And with that, Discord closed the line.
You took a moment to process this new information. Should you be mad at him? He clearly didn’t foresee things going wrong this hard, and most likely had everyone glued before it happened. Hell, it seemed he had everything pre-planned when it came to your guaranteed survival. What? Did he think you were going to break your skull or something? And what about Mr. Rich? He didn’t mention his name, so perhaps he also bought into his wife’s lies. And then there was Celestia. Luna had mentioned that she foresaw something bad happening during the exam. But given her anger at Discord, even she couldn’t guess it was going to be this bad. And then there was the exam itself. Once you came back up, your rep was going to shoot through the roof when everyone witnesses you being able to survive the platforms collapsing into the moat. Sure, Discord’s magic saved you this time, but you still put in the work and effort to even get this far. You wondered what this would mean for you. No doubt Snips and Snails would be annoying to the max again, and maybe you’d be able to get the attention of celebrities in to which you could wow Diamond by having her meet them. Otherwise, like anything else in this world, this shit should calm down for you in about a week or two.
Speaking of victory, you noticed the Diamond Doll floating upwards passed you, some of it’s sewn in yarn pulled out, causing it’s fluff to slowly seep out as it floats upwards. You decide to deal with the circumstances of the situation as they come, and so you take the doll and swim upwards. If you were right, everyone capable of mounting a rescue would be unglued when you came back up with the doll. You swam up towards the edge of the moat, and crawled onto the grass as the crowd spotted you, pointed, and called out to your position, all of them silent. You get up and give yourself a small shake to take off some of the water in your mane and coat.
This was it. It was time. You look up at the crowd and hold up the doll without saying a word. In an instant, the crowd throws up their hooves in cheer as many stomp in place to celebrate your heralding victory. It made you feel a little stunned in all actuality. This was the first time you ever seen such a colossal display of applause for you, and it actually felt pretty damn great. You did another pose, and there was a cheer, and so you did another pose, and there was applause all around. Goddamn, that felt pretty good after nearly dying.
“Anon!” You hear the cry of a familiar young pegasus call out to you from your side. Before you even have a chance to react, she jumps onto you, crying and hugging you tightly. “Anon! Anon! You’re ok! Oh my gosh! I-I thought… Anon…” She started to sob as she nuzzled onto you “I thought you were gone… I saw the whole thing coming down and just… froze. I meant to get help… I really did… But I just got so scared… I just…” She couldn’t speak anymore, and just started crying uncontrollably.
Poor Scootaloo, you couldn’t imagine how scared she felt for you right now. You slowly turned yourself so you could embrace her in a hug and gently pat at her head “Hey, Scoots. It’s ok, don’t even worry about it. Besides, we’re in front of a crowd, remember? We just passed the exam, so let’s just soak up the adoration, ok? I bet everypony is amazed at what we both did.”
“B-both? Anon… Nopony wants to… H-huh?” Scootaloo gets surprised when you break the embrace and stand once more, preparing to address the crowd.
“Hey everypony! That was amazing, right?! Right! You all came here to see me! The hero colt who saved all your butts from the Storm King pass a simple exam!” And that was something that at this point, you found a little weird. Maybe it was just you, but you couldn’t see humans gathering up in bunches to see something like this. To which you meant passing a simple exam, even if it turned into a diasaster. “And pass I did! But let me just say…” You grab onto Scootaloo's side, and hold her close “I couldn’t have done it without my friend, Scootaloo! When I screwed up my jump, she was there to catch me. When I had trouble climbing, she had my back! If I was feeling like giving up, she would give me the pep talk I needed to keep on going! So, come on everypony! Let me hear you cheer her name! SCOOT-A-LOO, SCOOT-A-LOO!”
And that did it, the crowd closest to you started to spread the word about what you said amongst the rest of the patrons. Soon after, they started chanting your name and Scootaloo’s name, over and over again. Scootaloo was stunned. Even with your speech, she didn’t expect anyone to actually cheer for her. “A-Anon, t-they’re cheering for me. L-Like I was a hero, like Rainbow Dash.”
You wrapped your hoof around Scootaloo's side and smirked as you gave her gentle shake “Scootaloo, thats exactly what’s going on. Without you, we wouldn’t have been able to do this at all. And now everypony knows it! Including Rainbow Dash.” You guessed at that last one, but given she had to be watching, you felt it was true.
“Y-yeah…” Scootaloo said, her heart filled with accomplishment. She truly felt like a hero, and felt the incoming pride and happiness she’d feel when Rainbow Dash arrives to congratulate the two of you. She even gave a few waves to the crowd, and smiled when they cheered to it. "A-Anon, it's really true. We're heroes!"
As far as you were concerned, that was true for the both of you. "Heck yeah we are. And look! Here comes Rainbow Dash."
As you look up, you could see Rainbow Dash and Spitfire coming down to meet with the two of you as the crowd continued to cheer. But they also looked rather frantic and worried. Of course they did, considering what fucking happened. Hell, they were being rather pushy taking you back to the main lobby while they looked at the both of you for any injuries as you all walked. They both were really amazed, and you were sure they’d be more vocal about it once you all got inside.
When you all re-entered the lobby, Spitfire took you aside as she barked an order at Rainbow Dash “Dash! Make sure she’s alright, check for any injuries or burns.”
Rainbow Dash did a salute “Yes, ma’am!” And went to work on checking on Scootaloo very thoroughly for any injuries, cuts, or burns. “Scootaloo, I really gotta tell ya, you had me scared there for a second. You too, Anon. I mean, holy cow! That whole thing just came crashing down! That totally wasn’t supposed to happen, right?” Rainbow Dash said as she carefully inspected her.
Spitfire firmly slid her hooves along your coat as she carefully inspected you for injuries. You did your best not to blush from the attention she was giving you, especially since she was being slow and thorough, even along your rump. “No, that wasn’t supposed to happen at all! I told her! I told her six ways to Cloudsdale that it was going to come out shoddy! Two foals! Two foals in the line of danger and I couldn’t even get out of my seat to do anything about it! Ngh…” Spitfire tensed for a moment “All this under my watch and I let it get this bad. I swear I was trying to get up, but I just couldn’t.” You could feel in her voice that she was upset about the whole thing.
She was right about that as far as Discord is concerned. And that hesitation in her voice, she clearly cared about the well being of you and Scootaloo. You actually felt pretty bad about it considering you were mostly in the know about what really happened. “Hey, it’s alright. Me and Scoots got out ok, so that's all that matters. Besides, that last bit must have looked really cool! The audience thought so anyway, at least.” You say in a cheery way as you let Spitfire inspect your hooves.
“Yeah, it was… Pretty cool.” Rainbow Dash hesitated for a moment, then started to gush as she looked into Scootaloo’s eyes “Like that part where you caught Anon at the last second! That was super rad, it’s really rare to see ponies with reflexes like that!”
Scootaloo was enamored that Rainbow Dash found anything she did impressive. Though by her slight awkwardness, it was easy to tell that she was remembering that it was mostly anticipation of your failure rather than reflex, but she went with Rainbow’s words anyway. “Y-You think so? I-I mean, heh…” She gave an arrogant little smirk as her pride set in her mind “it’s why I was running the course in the first place, right? Because I’m that good, right?” Scootaloo wagged her tail as she awaited her goddess' answer.
Rainbow Dash gave her a gentle pat as she giggled with pride “Heck yeah! And you don’t have a single injury on you!” Rainbow Dash removes her helmet, and gently pats her head “You’re the raddest filly there is, Scootaloo. Considering what just happened, you and Anon more than passed. Ain’t that right, Captain Spitfire?” She looks to her for approval, and only saw a half-hearted acceptance as she continued to inspect you.
“Dash…” Spitfire sighed, then gave a small smile “Ok, fine, I admit that this is really beyond the beyonds in terms of performance. But stay serious, alright? Hmmm…” She then notices the small burn marks on the frogs of your hooves, and a few you hadn’t noticed on your forelegs as well. “Nothing major. Amazing, considering how bad this could have been. But there’s still the head…” Spitfire removes your helmet and tosses it aside as she checks for burns or wounds. Remarkably, or perhaps not as remarkably when it comes to you, you lacked any burns or visible injuries. After her examination, Spitfire sighs and falls back on her butt as she wipes her brow. “He’s alright, thank Celestia. How’s the squirt, Dash?”
“A-ok over here. Then again, I didn’t have any doubt.” Rainbow Dash says as she gives a hoof bump to Scootaloo.
“Good…” Spitfire gets up, and gently wipes at her shirt as she makes a serious face. “Everything seems to be in order then. Might as well get this stupid little show over with. I’m gonna go out there, make a couple of announcements, then you bring them back out, we award them, and we put this all behind us and never EVER make this kind of mistake again.” Spitfire was truly aggravated, even when she put on her sunglasses, she was still visibly irked. “Ugh, I shouldn’t have accepted that donation, even if it really helped. Wasn’t worth nearly losing two foals. I can’t even complain, it really is my fault…” She muttered to herself.
Poor Spitfire, she was really being hard on herself. Even as you reach your hoof out to say something, you couldn’t actually think of anything to say to help cheer her up as she left. So you turn to Rainbow Dash, and ask her. “Is she gonna be ok?”
“Captain Spitfire? Yeah, she will. She’s really tough, you know? I can tell you this though, this kind of exam ain’t ever happening again on her watch. Thinking about it now, I can agree with her. Don’t get me wrong, you two were awesome! But… ngh…” Rainbow Dash began to hesitate again, her ears drooping as a horrible thought entered her mind.
“Rainbow Dash, did you think we were going to get hurt?” Scootaloo asked as she noticed Rainbow’s disheartened state. She then gave her an adorably huge smile “Come on! It’s us! We had it in the bag the whole time!”
“Yeah… I-I guess you did.” With the excitement over and Rainbow Dash taking in Spitfire’s own lament, she realized things really could have gone badly for the both of you. This realization made her more fearful than prideful now, thus causing her to silently join in on Spitfire’s notion of never doing something as ridiculous as this again. “Totally d-did. B-but I knew that…” Rainbow Dash takes a breath, and goes to a hanging saddle bag, your saddle bag to be exact. She takes it, and passes it over to you “There you go, Anon. The horn is inside, safe and sound.”
“Thanks” You say as you put the bag down and sift for your horn. “So uh, where’s Babs?”
“She probably went to join up with the others.” Scootaloo guessed as she looked at you with a great big grin “Anon, you gotta teach me how to break metal pipes like that. I didn’t even know heads could get that strong! What’s your secret?”
You winced at that. Even if she was genuinely curious, it still only reminded you that your head is only that good after going through a whole bunch of painful smacks. “Er, I guess you could try smashing your head on the ground fifty times a day, that’d probably work. D-did wonders for me.”
Scootaloo’s grin slowly died down to a weak frown “O-oh, erm… I-I think I’ll pass on that.”
Rainbow Dash still felt rather down over Spitfire’s melancholy. But she was also trying to convince herself that it’s alright, especially since you and Scootaloo seemed pretty fine. “Well, I’m proud of the both of you. You both did great out there. I mean, heck, the only other time I see a crowd get riled up that much is whenever I pull off a Sonic Rainboom. So yeah, kudos all around. And… Y’know?” Dash started to feel her dreariness drain away as pride wells up inside her “You both deserve the best eats money can buy! I don’t know exactly where the best eats are, but hayburgers on me should be good enough, right? I’m talking as much as you can eat here, my treat, don’t even worry about how much I’ll be paying.”
“Yeah! That sounds awesome, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cheered
Free burgers? Fuck yes! “Yeah, that is pretty awesome! Thanks RainBOWHQDDS” amidst your own happiness to devour delicious horse food, Twilight suddenly poofs into the room in a panic as she looks around frantically, catching you completely off guard.
“Are they ok?! Are they hurt?! Please tell me Anon doesn’t have to go to the hospital again! He has to be ok! All that fire, and the platform falling…” Twilight looks towards Rainbow Dash and rushes towards her, shaking her violently with her own hooves “TELL ME THEY’RE OK!”
“T-T-T-TW-TWI-T-T” Rainbow Dash couldn’t even get any words out as she shook in Twilight’s grip.
Twilight let her go and dropped her onto the ground as she let out a sharp gasp of agony “I was too late! Discord! DIIISCCCOORD!” Twilight fell onto the ground and began to sob as she pounded her hoof on the floor “Princess Celestia was wrong! Nothing is alright! It’s my fault! If only i just disintegrated my seat, I would have been able to save them. They didn’t deserve this, to succumb to those kinds of injuries…”
You and Scootaloo just looked at each other as if Twilight was off her fucking rocker.
“Uh, Twilight? What are you talking about?” Scootaloo hazards a question to the volatile alicorn.
Twilight looks over to Scootaloo and drags herself to her, whining and sobbing “You! And Anon! I saw it… I saw it all! Nopony that young could have survived that!”
Oh god, Discord must be in heaven right now, because Twilight was such a wreck that she couldn’t even notice what was right in front of her. “Twilight… We’re not dead. We’re not even hurt. Come on, it’s kind of embarrassing to see you like this.” Like really, to you? This was just sad.
“W-what?” Twilight looks up to see the both of you just fine. Scootaloo takes advantage of her silence to give her a smile and a wave her hoof to cement the fact she’s ok.
“Twilight, sheesh!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she stood up, brushing herself off “They’re ok. Wow! Didn’t you see us walk ‘em in? I get it, it was really scary stuff, but they're ok, see? And they killed that course! Come on, you should be all like ‘Wow! You two are so awesome! Like, super awesome! And your trainer? The best!’ “
Twilight took a moment to wipe the tears from her eyes as she gave a rather nasty stare towards Rainbow Dash that caught everyone off guard. “Rainbow Dash! This is serious! I’m happy that they’re ok, but you can’t just let it be! And don’t think I don’t know who set this up! For social status, really?! I have never EVER seen such disregard for a pony’s life as I have seen today. It came crashing down, Dash. IN FLAMES, DASH!” Twilight barked
Rainbow Dash obviously had no counter argument for that. She even seemed to had forgotten who had set things up, that’s what it seemed like anyway. Really, all Rainbow wanted to do was celebrate both yours and Scootaloo’s victory while trying to forget how it actually happened. Deep in her heart, she was just as terrified as Twilight was. “I-I mean… Erm. mnnn…” Rainbow Dash’s ears folded as she looked away in defeat “Ok… You’re right. That’s pretty bad.”
“It’s very bad! I’m going to go over to Mrs. Rich’s box right this instant and give her a piece of my mind! She didn’t even have the course go through a quality inspection! I cannot and WILL not let this slide!” Twilight was angry indeed, and on a warpath. But what made you alert was the fact that she was going to go after Mrs. Rich.
Ok, morally speaking, she probably deserved what was coming to her. But you also understood the situation she was in and how important it was when it came to her social class. Sure, it was all petty in the end, but she was also your future mother-in-law, and so you felt some need to protect her. You could imagine a princess berating her in front of a bunch of rich shitheads not only sinking her life, but Filthy’s as well. And that you DEFINITELY couldn’t allow. Mr. Rich was a total bro, and not one you’d let down if you could help it.
You took a deep breath, and just let it out. “Twilight. No, I can’t let you do that.”
“What?” Twilight looked at you, confused “Anon, she put your’s and Scootaloo’s life in danger with this. I can’t just let that go.”
“I knew the risks. Scootaloo may not have, but she’s alright, and that’s all that matters. It’s over, Twilight, and everypony came out ok. If somepony has to talk to Mrs. Rich, it’s gonna be me. I’m calm, I understand the situation, and I know her much better than you do. Please, let me handle this, Twilight.” You had to remain calm for this, because it was obvious she wasn’t in the right state of mind.
“Anon, just because Scootaloo is alright doesn’t mean this is anything close to ok. Mrs. Rich needs to understand the gravity of the situation. Because something tells me she doesn’t quite get it, especially if she was willing to overlook safety protocol just to look good in front of a bunch of rich ponies.” Twilight argued.
“And I get that. And I understand you’re upset, but I know her much better than you do and I can keep things calm while I tell her what’s what. I can only imagine how things are going for her after all that, it can’t look too good on her. Twilight, I’m gonna ask you again, please let me handle it.” You plead with her.
“I can’t, Anon. As the Princess of Friendship, it’s my duty to set things right in matters like these. Please try to understand, this is nothing against you, and it isn’t that harsh either. I just want to talk to her, not throw her in a dungeon.” Twilight started to calm down, and tried to tone down her resolve when she noticed you starting to become rather argumentative against her.
Fucking dammit! You weren’t going to let her have her way. Time to up the ante! “I do not care about your title, Twilight. This involved me, I know her, I know how to talk to her, and her investment on this whole thing is more than you realize. Stand down, please, I won’t ask again.”
Twilight was being more wary now. She knew that was a passive threat and knew you might even go through with something if she pushes you. So, she tries a different tactic, if only because she felt that her knowledge of friendship was better than what you have. “Well, Anon, how about this then? This whole thing also involves Scootaloo, so she should have a say too.” Twilight then looks to Scootaloo, who she herself suddenly became nervous “Scootaloo, who do you think should handle this?”
Scootaloo looks to you, then to Twilight, then to you, then to Twilight, and finally back to you as she points at you with a shaky hoof. “I think Anon should be the one. I… kinda know how things are when some other pony butts in when he tries to do something like this, it doesn’t go too well. I think you should give him a chance.”
“See, Anon? That’s ex… wait.” Twilight, who was sure Scootaloo was going to pick her, double takes when she realizes Scootaloo chose you. Hot damn, way to go, Scoots! “What?! Scootaloo, really? A-are you sure?”
Scootaloo nods and walks over to you, pointing at you with her hoof more confidently as she spoke. “Yeah, why not? If he’s that sure, and he knows her that well, then he sounds like the pony for the job, right? I know you’re the Princess of Friendship and all. But erm, Anon has like… erm… this way with really angry mares to make them not so angry.”
“A-ahh..ahm…” Twilight looks towards Rainbow Dash, who immediately throws her hooves in the air to dismiss this whole thing.
“Yo, don’t look at me, Twilight. I get why you’re upset, I get why you wanna handle it, and you can trust me when I say I wanna kick her butt for almost getting Anon and Scootaloo roasted. But you did ask Scootaloo and she does have a point. Anon’s got this weird thing with really angry mares. I mean look at Starlight and Tempest. If that ain’t proof, then I dunno what is. “ Holy shit, even Rainbow Dash was backing you up. That’s… That actually feels amazing.
Twilight goes silent. She was so frustrated, but she also knew that pushing it further after being outnumbered would sour her friendships with the three of you. In fact, her hesitating at this point struck you as odd, especially with her mention of Celestia being wrong. You also remember Luna mentioning to you that Celestia had a vision about today. And then there was Discord’s word about Celestia. She was mad at him? That had to be it, because if she was mad at the situation, she’d be here right now. Maybe she was angry that she couldn’t help, as it sounded like she didn’t expect things to go down so crazily. But after things turned out to be ok, she stopped pursuing it.
Twilight obviously couldn’t let it down. And so, you call her on it. “Celestia told you not to interfere, didn’t she?” If that was it, then for once, Celestia was respecting your space. She doesn’t deserve kudos or anything, but it’s a start in the right direction.
Twilight freezes from those words “H-how did you know?”
“Just a guess that I now know is true. Twilight, everypony can see that you’re highly upset.” One last time, you’d be civil and calm about this, and if that didn’t work, it’d be horn time. “But if Celestia had to say something, then I would think that would mean to just drop it.” Of course, you’d still lay on some guilt just to make sure she backs out “I mean, that's what you'd say to me if I was in your situation, right? Because that is what always happens, isn't it?”
Twilight had no more words to say on the matter. Finally, she had been defeated. Really, if it wasn’t for RD and Scoots, she probably still would have relented. Twilight took the time to look at you and Scootaloo one last time as she did her best to calm herself, your words circling her mind as she did. Finally, she truly backed off. “You’re right. I was letting my worry, fear, and doubt get the better of me. I was so worried about you two that I felt it was my duty to fix what may have not been in my place to fix. So much so that I didn’t care about your feelings on the matter. For that, I apologize. Anon, if you can really handle it, then I won’t bother you more about it. In fact, I’ll consider this a friendship lesson that I not only have to learn, but perhaps have the ability to pass on to my future students.” Twilight takes one more breath and gives a weak but sincere smile “Really, in the end, I’m just glad you both are ok.”
“It’s no problem, really!” Scootaloo said, returning her smile with one of her own “It could have gone bad, yeah. But me and Anon are a team! We always got each other's back! So of course we got out of this, no problem.”
“Yeah, Twilight.” If she was finally backing off, then there was no more reason for hostility. “You just gotta keep a cool head. It’ll be fine, promise, I got it handled.”
“I trust you, and I know you do. Heh…” Twilight let out a weak chuckle as her horn started to glow “I-I guess I’ll go back to my seat then for the whole award thing. I-I am proud of you, Anon, you really have come far. And if Fluttershy was here… Oh wait.” Twilight cringed “Maybe it’s good that she wasn’t.”
Everyone cringed at that as you replied to her words “Y-yeah… Probably...”
Like seriously, that would probably be the first known death in Equestria caused by a heart attack.
Chapter 26 - Spoiled's Worry And Some Creepy Horse
With that out of the way, the realization that Mrs. Rich might be in a tough spot started to fill your head. You look towards Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, who were still lingering within the moments of Twilight’s untimely entrance. “Yo, I gotta go. Need to make sure Mrs. Rich is ok.”
“W-woah, what?!” Rainbow Dash said in surprised confusion “But what about the ceremony? And what about the thing that just happened now? You seemed pretty tense, Anon. You may want to chillax and do that after we’re done here.”
“Yeah, Anon. You got pretty serious with Twilight. Don’t you wanna cool off a bit first?” Scootaloo suggested, worried about your mental state. Fearing you might do something you might not want to do due to frustration.
The truth is, you already felt pretty ok. Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash having your back on this one really did wonders for your mood, even with Twilight’s persistence. “I’m fine, trust me. I just wanna make sure everything is ok, that’s all. As for the ceremony…” You reach into your saddle bag and get your trusty horn. You place it on your forehead, and immediately use the spell you had in mind. “I got a guy who can handle that.”
Your horn lets out a small pop as you begin to glow. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo just look on as a copy form of you separated from your main body, then starts to look around rather dumbly.
“Woah, there’s two Anons now!” Scootaloo said in surprise “I didn’t even know you could do that!”
“Yep, I can. And this guy is gonna fill my place while I go see Mrs. Rich. That’s alright with you, right Rainbow Dash?” You ask
Rainbow Dash slowly approaches your clone, and pokes it nose, eliciting a small giggle from it. “I guess” She looks at it inquisitively “I dunno for sure though, he seems kind of dumb.”
“He is. He’ll do whatever you tell him and is smart enough to answer questions and talk at a third grade level. He’ll disappear after the ceremony, so don’t worry about him getting into trouble.” You explained, feeling some pride about creating an idiot-proof idiot.
“Anything we tell him? Hrn…” Scootaloo looks to your clone with curiosity, then gives him a big smile. “Anon, say ‘Rainbow Dash is awesome!’ “
“Rainbow Dash is awesome!” Your clone says with a dopey smile on his face.
“That’s so cool! Hey, Rainbow Dash, why don’t you give it a shot?” Scootaloo asks her, feeling anticipation and a few giggles well up inside her as she awaits to see what Rainbow Dash has planned.
“Alright, heh, let’s see.” Rainbow Dash rubs her chin with her hoof as she looks to your dumb looking clone with intrigue. “I want you to try balancing on one hoof while solving, erm, a real hard math problem. Something Twilight would think of.”
And just like that, your clone starts standing on its right hindleg as it does it’s best to think of something. “Errr, uhhh… Ngh!” The clone suddenly starts screaming erratically as it fails to think of something. “FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCK FUCK!” It screams as it continues to balance itself “I CAN’T THINK BEYOND THREE PLUS EIGHT! I THINK PI IS A DELICIOUS TREAT, GODDAMMIT! THIS HURTS SO MUCH! PLEASE, ANYPONY, JUST SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD OR AT LEAST SUCK MY DICK UNTIL I ORGASM TO DEATH!”
Scootaloo covered her ears as your clone screamed it’s nonsense from within the lobby “S-sheesh! Rainbow Dash! I-I think you broke him! W-what is he even saying?!”
Rainbow Dash understood some of its lingo, and found it rather appalling. “Nothing you need to listen to, Squirt.” Rainbow Dash rushes over to Scootaloo and helps cover her ears with her wings as she looks at you with a surprised and mean look “Anon! What is with him?! The things he’s saying are things a filly like Scootaloo should totally not be hearing right now.”
You let out a heavy sigh as you get heavily annoyed at the entire situation “That’s not my fault. I told you he was dumb! Why did you give him something difficult like that?! That’s totally on you, Rainbow Dash!”
“I just wanted to see if he could do it! I didn’t know he’d be spewing all those bad words! I mean… Hey… “ Rainbow Dash suddenly gets an evil grin as she gets a devious idea “Man, Applejack would go nuts if we set a couple of these Anons outside her window.”
Ha! That’d actually be pretty… Oh wait, but it’d spell trouble for you though. “Maybe for you, but I’d rather not want to deal with the wrath of an apple farmer.” You walk over to your screaming clone and smack at the back of the head “Shut up already!”
And just like that, the clone falls on all four of his hooves, and shuts his fucking trap as if he was just summoned, just looking around blankly.
Scootaloo noticed the Anon sitting there, and asked "Is everything ok now? Can I uncover my ears?"
"Yeah." Rainbow Dash slowly uncovers Scootaloo’s ears as she stares at your clone with caution “He gonna be quiet?”
You nod “Until you give him another command. Just keep things simple with him, alright? I really wouldn’t want to have to zap him away early in front of a crowd.”
“I’ll try.” Rainbow Dash closely inspects your clone once again as it stands there “Now that I think about it, kind of reminds me of Pinkie’s clones.”
“Oh, you mean when she used that mirroring pool? I remember that…” Scootaloo suddenly shivered in dismay “I kinda don’t want to remember that. All those Pinkies were terrible and annoying. They weren’t as cool as the real Pinkie at all.”
“I may have not been there for that, but I heard the stories. Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyway, just keep things simple with him and everything should be ok. I really gotta go and I don’t want to waste any more time, alright?” Really, the more time you waste, the more something could happen to Mrs. Rich. Hell, for all you knew, Twilight 180’d and went to talk to her anyway. Oh boy, if she did, you may very well use your second charge on her.
“Yeah, yeah, keep it simple, got it! We’ll be careful.” Rainbow Dash tells you, feeling a little insulted that you didn’t seem to trust her.
“Yeah, Anon! You can count on us to not mess up with… Erm… You…” Scootaloo let’s out a cheerful giggle, then salutes to you “Anyway, you can count on us! So, good luck, Anon! I’ll be rooting for you.” But then Scootaloo stopped you immediately after her words to ask one last thing. “Oh, Anon, wait! One last thing!”
Hmmm? “Yeah?”
“What does ‘Fuck’ mean?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head in curiousness.
Aye geez, not again. And unlike with Starlight, you felt messing with Scootaloo about it would end badly for you. “It’s probably nothing. Remember, that clone is kinda dumb, probably just made it up.”
“Really?” Scootaloo said as she pondered, tapping at her chin “Coulda sworn I heard it before.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOPE! Before she even had a chance to question you further, you make your way out, speaking quickly as you do “Nope! You haven’t! Thanks guys, I’ll see you both later, for real! Gone now, bye!”
And with that, you left the lobby through the front entrance, and asked the guards where along the outside of the circular colosseum might the rich pony’s entrance be. They don’t dismiss you, and actually turn out to be rather helpful as they point along the clockwise direction of the Colosseum, saying it’s a bit of a walk, but less than halfway if you take this path along the outer side of the Colosseum's wall. With that, you thank them, and trot towards the V.I.P entrance.
You had to make sure you stayed focused when you meet up with Spoiled. Stay strong, keep on course, assess the situation, and don’t make her or yourself look the fool. If you had to, you could dazzle the crowd of noble ponies with a spell from the horn, you did still have one charge left.
When you neared the V.I.P entrance, marked with a golden archway, you could see Spoiled looking back towards it, then marching towards the lobby you just left. Due to your paths crossing, it didn’t take you both long to notice each other. What caught you as odd though was the fact she was by herself, without husband or rich assholes following her. Well, whatever it was that caused this, you were about to find out about it. “Mrs. Rich? Hey, how are you?” A weak start, but you’d be able to gauge the situation from how she answers.
But as she silently approached, her pace quickening as she did, you noticed her mane was a little less kept than usual, and her make-up was running down her cheek. She looked rather miserable actually. Did something happen? “Mrs. Rich? A-are you NGH!” You are stopped when she grabs onto you, and hugs you tightly.
“Anon, you imbecile!” She said with a fearful whine “Idiot! W-what are you doing walking around like this? You should be in a hospital!”
Ok, odd first words to come out of her after just meeting up with her. She was hugging you onto her chest, so you had to scootch your face up, still calm as you do, and ask “Erm, why? I’m alright, Mrs. Rich. Are you alright?” She clearly wasn’t, and it was already evident why.
“You’re alright? You’re alright?!” She says with a frustrated chuckle as she begins to gently brush her hoof onto your head “Maybe I’m the idiot then, considering what you had to go through to survive.” She let you go, and sat down as she began to sob “Endangering your life just to be the best. I-I didn’t know that was going to happen. How was I supposed to know?! I only wanted there to be enough danger to impress those fools, and all I ended up doing was nearly…” She looks back at you, and becomes reluctant.
Holy shit, she was a fucking wreck! You didn’t even know what was fully going on. Did her plan work? Where was Filthy? Is she even ok? Her words were not painting a full picture for you. “W-woah, hold on Mrs. Rich! A-are you alright? Did everything work out ok?”
She let out a bit of an insane chuckle as she grabbed onto you again and looked into the bright blue sky. “All that, and he’s asking if I’m ok! Oh my Celestia, my little Diamond truly has a good one, even if he’s an idiot at times.” She says out loud, but given her less than sane mood, you didn’t take it personally “Anon…” She stops, and finally looks you in the eye, lucidity in her expression. “I don’t know if you knew, but what happened with the dragon exploding was not planned. It was an accident… It was…” She looks down, visible shame on her face “It was my own foolish pride. That dragon nearly incinerated you and your friend. And for what? Social status?!...” She stops for a moment as she turns to the side “Ok, that is rather important. But…” She sighs, and looks back at you with tear filled eyes. “So are you. You are my future son-in-law, after all…” Then she lets out a more calm laugh as she did her best to relax “And even after nearly losing your life, you want to know if everything went alright with me.”
You shrug, and give her a hopeful smile. “Well, yeah, I gave you my word I’d do my best. Scootaloo is ok, I’m ok, and everything else is going as planned. But…” She seemed to have learned her lesson, but you also felt she might shirk off some of what she may have learned as a pure accident. You felt you had to cement her lamentable feelings. “Can we maybe never do something like that again? That was really scary.” You say as worried and adorably as possible.
“O-of course… And… “ She gulps, feeling maybe she was overdoing her own plans. She wanted you close to her side for awhile just to know you’re alright, for her own sake. But there was that part of her that wanted to show you off personally to the aristocratic company she kept. “Perhaps after the ceremony, you could join me for a little while? Hmmm… how to put this…” She didn’t want to sound to forceful.
But you got it, and you give her a smirk “Wanna show me off and prove how much better we are in every facet of life? Sure! I’ll even join in right now. Created a temporary clone to fill in for me anyway” You could at least give her this.
“A temporary clone?” It looked like it took her a moment to get it, but once she did, she made a cocky little smirk of her own. “Anon, I really am surprised. Any other colt your age would have just wanted to go home. But you? You truly are a colt of your word. Hmmm…” She suddenly gives a more warming and maternal smile as she gives you a gentle hug. “Thank you…”
“Such a sight to see. Despite your kinship being years off, you both already demonstrate what familial ties are truly about.” Said a voice from the side.
You and Spoiled break off your hug to see…
Uh…
Some pedo pony Dracula looking motherfucker in a purple, high collar, cloak and a red sash with some sort of badge. His mane was black and slicked back smooth, and his coat white. He also has a small beard. Who the fuck was this guy?!
“Chancellor Neighsay! Uhm… Hrm.” Spoiled suddenly straightens up and wipes the mussed up make-up from her cheeks. “Ahrm, I didn’t see you there. I wasn’t aware you had vacated your seat, are you alright?”
Chancellor Neighsay?
“Indeed I am. I apologize for my sudden appearance, I didn’t mean to cause any harm. I just wanted to comment on what I had walked into, two ponies showing care for one another. Something you wouldn’t truly see in any other creature, unfortunately.” Neighsay then stops and looks towards you as he continues to speak to Spoiled. “As for why I left my seat, it was to meet with the Hero Colt Anon himself. I am very impressed with what I’ve seen today, as I have been impressed with what I have heard about him. I suppose you can say he intrigues me greatly.”
This guy irked you. Meet you? You intrigue him? Was he gonna lure you into his van or rape you or something? Who the fuck is he? He unsettled you so much.
Spoiled suddenly whispers to you “Anon, please, be courteous with him. He wasn’t one of the ones I meant to crush. He’s a very important stallion, that’s all you need to know.” She then looks to Neighsay and gives him an awkward smile “Chancellor, I wasn’t aware you were that interested in Anon. But I am truly honored you have taken interest in my future son and, I’d assume, my daughter as well.”
Wut?! Was Spoiled selling you and Diamond to this obvious pedophile?!
“I’m very interested in Anon. And depending on our meeting, your daughter as well. My recommendations are highly sought after afterall, but I’m sure you knew that. However, since I am here, I also feel a meeting with… Ahrm… “ Suddenly, there was disgust in his voice “Princess Twilight is required. So…” He then looks to you “Anon, I hope you won’t find it rude that I have to make you wait, but duty calls. Would you mind meeting with me tonight? At a place of your choosing?”
Rude? Make you wait? This presumptuous creepy ass fuck! You didn’t even say anything and he already fucking assumes you’ll meet with him? And goddammit, if Spoiled’s reaction is anything to go by, saying no might fuck things up. Ugh, the things you have to do for the ones you care about… “Erm, sure… How about at the fountain by city hall.”
“Perfect! Oh, and I’d rather it just be us. True, it may seem off that I don’t want your…” Again, there is disgust in his voice “Father…” And then he speaks respectfully again “There, but what I have to say is very important and for your ears only. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”
Oh god, you really were too cute! It was only a matter of time before the pedo rapist ponies came after your ass. “S-sure…” If he tries anything on you, you’ll fucking twist his goddamn neck. Though, if he’s a vampire pedo Dracula, you may be screwed as he's already undead. He wasn't burning in the sunlight, but stronger vampires, like this guy possibly is, aren't really affected by the sun.
“Splendid! Now then, I must make my leave. It was truly a pleasure, Mrs. Rich, a pleasure indeed.” He says as he walks off towards Twilight’s castle.
What in the…
“Who was that guy?” You ask Spoiled.
Spoiled just watches him walk off, feeling a small chill down her spine from that meeting. “Chancellor Neighsay of the EEA. The head of the EEA to be exact.”
EEA? “What’s the EEA?”
“Equestria Education Association. They are the highest authority on academics in the land. Even Celestia’s school needed their accreditation before it could truly be erected. Chancellor Neighsay himself is also a very hard pony to please, so him having any interest in your training exam caught me off guard. I had to invite him for this event, if only to try to earn his favor. Having him as a friend works wonders if you are trying to get your foal in a highly sought after school. And it seems I may, in fact, have his friendship. Anon, please, whatever goes on in that meeting? please PLEASE be as courteous and well mannered as possible, alright? This is too good of a chance to be squandered. If you can do this for me. I’ll… mmnnn.” Spoiled sighs “I will think more highly of your father, and not think of him as a gigantic reprobate.”
You felt gross just thinking of this meeting. The guy definitely seemed evil in some way. As for Spoiled’s deal... “It’s fine, I know you don’t really like my dad, so I won’t force you to be nice to him. I’ll still be a gentlecolt towards Neighsay. The only thing I want to ask though…” and make sure she understands “Is, erm, you’re never gonna do anything this crazy again, right? The whole Colosseum and dragon thing? or anything close to it, right? I-I’d like a promise, if you don’t mind.”
Spoiled expression became serious as she gave you a nod “You have my word. I’ll just have to lord over those worms in some other fashion. For now, shall we go?”
You nod, hopefully getting a chance to be an arrogant ass to a bunch of rich fucks will calm you down. “Sure, after you, Mrs. Rich.”
When you both approach the entrance to the V.I.P. box, you start to let out a small chuckle as you realize something.
Mrs. Rich looks over to you, finding your giggle a little off. “What’s so funny?”
You look at her with a cheerful little grin “You haven’t said anything about how I look. I did get pretty dirty back during that exam. Now…” You coyly begin to tap at your chin inquisitively. “Is it because you care more about me rather than how I look? Or is it because you didn’t notice? Hmmm…”
At first, Mrs. Rich looked insulted. But something must have clicked in her mind when she realized one or both of those statements may be true. “W-well, what am I supposed to tell you? Go take a bath or go put on some elegant clothing? No…” She looks ahead, trying to find something nice to say about the subject “If I had to say something, it would be to say that I’m going to overlook it this one time. Not like anypony can say otherwise anyway after what just happened.”
In truth, you only brought this up to see what she had to say and see if she’d go back to acting like her usual self. She mostly did, but it was clear she cared more for you than whatever crowd awaited the both of you. With that in your heart, you take out your horn and place it on your head as you decide to give her one last favor. “You know, Mrs. Rich? I feel like I can give you one more bonus favor. But if I do this, I’d just like one little thing in return. Can you do that for me?”
“Hmm?” She looked at you, confused as to what you were doing. “Another favor for me? What are you doing? What do you mean?”
“I mean I’m not going to go up there looking all dirty and scraggly. Trust me, you’ll be happy with what I’m about to do. But after I do it, I just want you to, well, loosen up a little. Don’t be so uptight, ok?”
Then she just stares a judging stare at you as she raises a single eyebrow “Uptight? What gives you the impression I’m uptight?”
“Well, snooty and uptight mostly. Kind of a mix of both.” You say, unaffected by her gaze.
“Are you trying to get me upset with you? Because it’s working” She says to you, whatever deep care she had for you in the past moments passing by into nothingness.
You give her a cocky little smirk as you begin to glow “Not really, I really meant what I said. But perhaps you need to see my end of the offer first before you reply.”
And with that, your glow began to intensify, causing Mrs. Rich to cover her face with her hoof as you turned into a small mini sun. “Anon! What is the meaning of this?!”
The only sound that comes back in reply is a small explosion from where you stood that releases the light around you into little orbs. When Spoiled looked upon you, you were no longer adorable and dirty Anon. No, you were now an Anon with a smooth and slicked back mane. You wore a black suit with a red bowtie and white undershirt. You also put an illusion on your necklace and horn, making it appear as a rare and expensive pendant with a beautiful red gem. You even had a Dracula like cape for the ensemble. On your head was a black silk top hat that completed the entire look. Oh yeah, you looked fucking hot. And since Dracula seemed to be the epitome of high class in pony society, you decided to fit in. “Meaning? Ha! Like I said, I’m giving you one bonus favor. Pretty swanky, huh? I bet I look a lot more presentable now.”
Spoiled looked surprised and even impressed by your transformation. She stayed silent for a moment, then smirked with a slight chuckle. “Aren’t you overdoing it? No, wait…” Her cocky little smirk softens after a small breath “Alright, I see what you want now. And given everything that’s happened, I feel like I’m the same as the idiots above us with how I've been acting, and have acted towards you.”
You shake your head, and give her a gentle hug “Nah, you’re just used to your social standing. I know deep inside that you have a good heart. That’s why I’m asking if you can relax a little, at least around me and my friends. That’s all I ask, please?” You look up at her with a sweet smile that contrasted your debonair look
She tenses at first, murmuring about something. She then closes her eyes and shakes as she struggles with that notion. Finally, she opens her eyes and groans “Alright, I suppose that’s fair enough…” She then looks ahead and opens the doors, then looks back at you with a gentle smile “You have a good heart too, I’ve told you that before, haven’t I?”
Oof, that’s a big no. “Ermmm… Yes?”
Her muzzle quivers with frustration as she passes through the doors to a rather lavish stairway interior that led upwards to the V.I.P seats. The stairs themselves in this stairway were covered with a really nice red carpet. “Egh… A lie for sure… But, in that case, I’ll make sure to say it more often. Or say it more than twice at least.”
With that you both ascended the stairs to the V.I.P box. You expected Spoiled to go through some ground rules or something as you ascended the stairs, but she kept quiet and stayed focused. Maybe she trusted you enough to handle it on your own? Or perhaps she already started on lightening up. Either way, it was welcome, as you already felt confident enough to handle the situation.
Finally, you both reach the other side of the stairs. What awaited you was an open floor to walk around and a boxed off set of seats, walled away from the common seats other ponies sat at. Around you were the richest, snobbiest, and most well dressed ponies you’ve seen yet. They were all either conversing and taking drinks from a single waiter pony or listening to Spitfire’s announcement, which was already underway.
“Honeylamb! There you are!” cried out the familiar southern voice “Got worried there for a minute with you leaving so suddenly, but I suppose you needed a breath of fresh air. Anyway, they’re already awarding Anon and Scootaloo and… wait a second.” Mr. Rich approaches the both of you from the walking area, visibly confused. “Er, who is that colt you’re with?”
You give Mr. Rich a wide and adorable smile “Heya Mr. Rich, it’s me, Anon!”
“He decided to clean himself up and join us, we ran into each other downstairs and he was so well dressed for it, I decided to invite him up here. And…” Mrs. Rich noticed that her husband mentioned he got worried when she stepped out “You were worried about me? I only left for a moment…”
“Yes, that’s true. But Sweetie Pie, it’s not like you to leave when we’re entertaining the other rich folk. So even a moment scares the horseshoes out of me, and do you wanna know why?” Mr. Rich slowly approaches his wife with a gentle and loving smile
“I-I… Don’t… “ It was clear Mrs. Rich had never just walked out in such a way before. Most likely because she’s never nearly killed anyone before due to her own hubris.
Mr. Rich just continues as if she did answer, and rubs his nose along hers affectionately “Because I love you so much. Love ya more than the business, and I always hope you know that.”
D’awwww, you could see Spoiled blushing as she reluctantly enjoys her husband’s affection. It was cute, and very endearing to see her give in and act like every other pony in love with another. She was returning his affection with a nuzzle of her own, and a gentle kiss on the muzzle. Clearly she didn’t give a shit that anyone saw. “Well, dear, I feel better now, thanks to you. I-I was feeling a little worried, truthfully. N-not because of that completely planned platform collapse mind you, just the fact that I felt I could have overdone it.”
“Well, you better not worry none about that, because I’m impressed, they’re impressed, and everything came out exactly as you thought it did. Gotta say, even you had me fooled into thinking that was some freak accident. But of course I was just the fool when it came to doubting you, even by a little. You forgive me for that, right? Darlin’?” Filthy asked, awaiting for the approval of his wife.
Spoiled felt bad hearing those words. She knew she lied to everyone to save face, saying it was all part of the plan. Her ears drooped when she looked at her husband’s face as she tensed with guilt. “You don’t need to ask me for forgiveness, Dear. It was, well, set up to have everypony doubt. And…” How could he even put himself down like that? She thought. Did he really feel that way? “And please, don’t even think yourself lower than me. We’re married, I’d like to think we’re equals. That’s how it works, right?”
Mr. Rich just plants a gentle kiss on her nose and smiles with a southern chuckle “It does, I’d wager. But I’m still the stallion around here, my job is to make sure you and our princess are always as happy as can be, you hear?”
Spoiled suddenly becomes adorably meek as she looks down and nods “Mhmm…”
“In any case, I think I’ve been ignoring our future son long enough.” Filthy lets out a more hearty southern laugh as he looks to you “Mighty fine clothes you got on there, son. But let me tell you, I think I finally got a hang on this whole chaos magic thing. The Anon down there on the field is a little ole clone, ain’t it?”
Woah, that’s a pretty impressive guess coming from him. “Nice! That’s exactly right. How did you figure it out, Mr. Rich? Most ponies would have found it weird.”
Mr. Rich gives you a cocky grin as he taps at his forehead “It’s my business to figure out the tricks of the trade to any pony, Anon. And I finally got a good hold on how your tricks work. And wow!” He whistles “Gonna take a guess them clothes are all part of the magic too. I get it, came to impress all us business types and such up here.” He winks at you “Very impressive, but you’re trying too hard I think. Ahhh well, I know these ponies, they are pretty easy to impress if you know how to razzle dazzle them some. Well? Let’s get to that then, shall we? With our princess with the princesses and you smashing that there exam, all the ponies up here are primed to be all awed and such.” Mr. Rich then looks to his wife with a gentle smile “And I know that’s what you want. But let’s not overdo it, alright? Don’t want to make no enemies either, no siree”
Mrs. Rich nods, and looks towards the crowd, mustering up her snooty bravado “I can do that, especially since not everypony here is worth it anyway. Even further, if they ever dine with Princess Celestia or Princess Twilight and ask about our dear Diamond, they’ll hear nothing but good things. Yes, no need to crush their pride even further than that.”
Mr. Rich tensed a little at her last words, he wasn’t much for “Crushing”. But he knew his wife, and accepted it this time. And with that, you all went to mingle with the crowd.
And this was the most unfortunate part about all of this. None of the rich ponies were any you recognized from the show, not a single one. Dammit, if Fleur Di Lis was at least among the bunch, you could have at least “impressed” her to get some gentle headpats out of her. Ok, maybe not a good idea with the two wedded Riches watching, but still. And the worst part was that they were all fucking boring and obvious. There were the ones genuinely and ridiculously impressed with your skills, both magical and physical. The obvious jealous ones who nearly ground their teeth to nothing, attempting to smile as they entered a conversation with you, singing your praises falsely as envy raged through their minds. The jealous ones weren’t even that fun to impress either, you didn’t know them and most likely never would meet with them ever again.
There was even an old mare showing you a picture of her granddaughter, a rather adorable blue unicorn filly with emerald green eyes and a cute little bowtie on her platinum blue tail. She was obviously trying to get you to be part of her family instead. You didn't even have a chance to decline. Spoiled’s hearing was a lot sharper than you realize, because she gave that old mare a stare even Satan would fear, causing the old mare to chuckle fearfully and wish you ado. Man, you needed a drink, but the waiters were not willing to serve any drinks to a child, despite being the goddamn hero colt, goddammit.
The only real amusing thing through this whole borefest was when your clone was given a mic to give his victory speech to the crowd. You all looked down towards the clone when he began to speak. “I have a dream! Where mares and stallions, colts and fillies, and whatever else, can come together and spread the love among each other. Yes, where nopony would be afraid to unsheath their fears and plunge into the moist caves of happiness and plant their seeds into those who want it. For mares everywhere to be happy to receive that which we all know you deserve! Everypony, all at once, releasing into the air the cry of true and unadulterated bliss! This is my dream for Equestria, and I hope everypony is with me on this!”
Throughout the Colosseum, ponies everywhere cheered and stomped their hooves in approval of your clone’s message.
You could hear one of the aristocrats say “My, even the magically created double has quite a way with words. A true inspiration indeed.”
You? You retracted the thought of it being amusing. Holy fuck, if ponies weren’t so innocent, you’d be seen as the most perverted being in this world. Hell, that might already be true, but you didn’t need everyone knowing that. “Y-yeah…”
It wasn’t soon after, now that everything was over anyway, that the wealthy crowd began to make their exit. All none the wiser to the truth of things, and leaving on pleasant terms. Some were hiding their anger as they bowed and left in a huff. All that did was fuel Mrs. Rich’s victory, as it was clear she was enjoying their salt, almost like it was a fucking fetish. In any case, she was clearly pleased with the results.
Eventually, the box was empty of both the few waiters and all the rich patrons. Even the Colosseum was emptying up at this point now that everything was over. You could only think of what your reputation was like right now.
“Well, I’d call this a success” Spoiled said as she walked to the right side of you, looking down onto the field with a self satisfied smirk.
“Agreed. Nopony got hurt, Anon passed his exam, and our little darlin’ got to be around her heroes while watching her future husband save her, in a sense anyway” Mr. Rich said as he stepped to your other side, and looked up to the sky, more relieved than anything else. It was clear he was just glad everything was over, he could do without this kind of excitement.
“Well, there’s still that wedding thing, right? How do you think that’s gonna go? I mean, I’m ready for it. I just want to see Diamond happy, that’s all. I really can see her as my wife… Erm.” You stop when you notice a tenseness in Mr. Rich “Y-y’know, if everything works out”
“Everything WILL work out. Despite the few reservations I do have, I’d rather you than some rich snob who only sees us for the bits we have or the businesses we own. Isn’t that right, Dear?” Spoiled look to her husband, not with a look that demanded agreement, but a look in search of approval to her own words.
“That’s true. There are many a pony who’d offer their own young’un just to have a piece of the Rich pie. But if it’s one thing we can say for sure in that regard is that both you and your father don’t really want or have a need for our money and such. If I can sound all philosophical-like for a moment, I’d say that ‘A being of chaos already has everything at their beck and call, except for one to share it with”. Erm, probably not the best sounding now that I think about it, but it rung with me right proper at the time.” Mr. Rich said, agreeing with his wife while trying to sound all wise about it.
“That sounds about right, at least to me, Mr. Rich. I promise to do you proud, and take care of her, and all that stuff.” You say, feeling sure of your words, and comfortable talking about your future with Diamond among her parents.
“Sounds like you already got it all worked out” Mr. Rich says to you, finding your words confident and adorable at the same time.
“Well, it seems to be happening no matter what, right? No other thing to do but try to plan my future out. That’s a good thing, right? Planning I mean.” You ask, wondering if maybe you went too far.
“Well, since it seems to be so guaranteed… Yes, yes, that is exactly the thing to do. Hmm…” Spoiled trailed off there for a second once again, losing herself to her thoughts as she looked upon the burned pillar that once held the dragon’s platform. She knew, and felt, that she could never let something like this happen again. She nearly lost you, her future son, to her own arrogance.
“Mother, Daddy! I’m back and… Oh, everypony left already? Hmph” Said a young and familiar voice “How rude, considering the princess came to make her presence known.”
Hmm? The three of you look back to see an insulted Diamond Tiara, with a slightly embarrassed Princess Celestia behind her. Almost immediately, Spoiled and Filthy bow as you just look at her, and blink.
“Erm, I really just came to drop you off and see Anon, Princess Diamond." Celestia says to Diamond before looking to the Riches, feeling a sense of embarrassment from their respect. "And you needn’t bow, I’m just a spectator today, no need to be so formal.” Celestia was visibly uncomfortable. And fucking dammit, she had to say those fucking words. You did not, DID not want to talk to her if she had something “important” to tell you. Goddamnit.
“Nonsense, your Highness, it’s proper to bow and all, specially since you’ve been takin’ care of our own princess.” Filthy stands after his bow, looking rather proud to be in the presence of someone so high esteemed. “Speaking of, how was your time with our great Princess… Er… Princess.” He asks Diamond.
“Great! We laughed! We cried! Well… Princess Twilight cried more than I did for some reason. And we got to see Anon kick butt! Erm… I mean, pass his exam” Diamond does her best to calm down from her obvious excitement, and sound as proper as she can to impress Celestia and not upset her mother. “Indeed, even with the danger, Anon did splendidly. Wouldn’t you agree, Princess Celestia?”
Celestia was silent for a moment as she gazed upon Spoiled, who she herself was actually breaking a sweat in fright of what Celestia might think, fearing she knew the truth as to what happened. Celestia did, she must have, considering Discord’s words. But she didn’t say anything about it, she just looked to Diamond and smiled “Indeed, you could say I was ‘glued’ to the edge of my seat the entire time” She giggled as her eyes finally meet with you, finally noticing you. But she looked rather confused by your presence. “Anon? Is that you?”
“Anon?” Diamond looks around, then looks at your Dracula garbed self. “That’s Anon? But isn’t he down in the lobby?”
She didn’t recognize you? That actually… Kind of hurt. “Diamond, it’s me! Your prince! Heh, I guess this look is pretty stunning, eh? As for the Anon down there, it was a clone I made to please the crowd while I hang with your… Our parents.” You give her an awkward grin, and await her approval of your look.
“Stunning is right.” Diamond walks up to you with a huff and looks you over “Anon, do you even know what you look like?”
W-wut? “Erm… Charming?”
Celestia lets out a giggle when she realizes what Diamond is going on about. “Oh, I get it. Maybe it’s a princess’s intuition, but she’s upset because he looks like a villain with that hat and cloak.”
“Exactly.” Diamond says with an aristocratic nod as she whips her hoof up and knocks your silk hat off “Very astute fellow princess. Anon, how can you dress like this?” She gives you a mean stare as she ruffles your mane “There, nice and cute again, just like you’re supposed to look. Don’t EVER...” And she points at you with every word she utters as she gives you a serious stare “EVER dress as a villain again, ok?”
S-sheesh, o-ok, Dracula was definitely not in with the foals. “O-ok”
“Good” She then smiles and gives you a kiss on the nose, blushing from the soft look you were now giving her after the smooch. You just couldn't resist smiling and blushing from her physical attention. “You did amazing out there, Anon. If I didn’t know the whole thing coming down was part of the whole exam, I think I would have shattered like Princess Twilight nearly did.” She then moves in and whispers to you “I think she thought you were really gonna be crushed or drown or something, can you believe it? I didn’t realize she was so paranoid”
You know, it was probably a good thing Diamond didn’t know the truth. Not only could you not visualize the degree of her reaction, but you also couldn’t fathom you being able to do anything with your life ever again as she clamps herself to you to make sure you’re always safe. Yeah, this was totally better than that possibility. “She probably didn’t know. It’s fine though, because the important thing in all of this is that we’re together again. I bet you really cheered for me, huh?”
Diamond nodded profusely “Mhmm! Mhmm! With allllll my heart!”
D’awww, of course she did. You tilt your head very slightly as you smile at her “I knew you did, because I could feel it right here” You bring your hoof to your heart “And that’s what gave me the power to beat this test.”
Those words, Diamond suddenly felt dizzy and stunned as she gasped in amazement “R-Really?”
You nod as you kiss her nose “Yup!”
She started to feel woozy and step about in a daze “O-oh, Anon, t-that means we’re connected for s-sure…” She nearly falls over as she holds a hoof to her chest “B-by the heart.”
You knew that was just hogwash, but damn if it did not make her act more adorable. “Yep, forever and for always.” You say with a sure grin.
“I can definitely tell these two are going to be together forever. I don’t need to be Princess Cadance to be able to see that.” Celestia said with a wholesome giggle.
“Can we take that as your personal blessing, princess?” Mr. Rich asks “Would mean an awful lot since it seems everything is guaranteed”
Celestia nods “Of course. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen such pure love between two foals, so I feel my blessing is well deserved.” Celestia then looks to you with a gentle smile “Anon, you seem well. It’s good to see you. Aside from the exam, and yesterday, how have you been?”
Hmmm, normal so far. Maybe, just maybe, you should keep it cool like Luna suggested. “I’m alright, and the exam nor yesterday was anything special, especially compared to the Storm King. How are you?”
“I’m doing fine, especially now that all the excitement is over. I really do congratulate you on a job well done, as I will be telling Scootaloo the same when I go see her before I go.” Celestia then looks over the vacating crowd as she nears the balcony of the box “Amazing that a bigger deal was made of this rather than the Storm King’s defeat. Then again, Twilight and her friends have gone through similar oddities. Would you believe that despite her princess title, she still has trouble getting a cab carriage in the bigger cities?” Celestia had herself a bit of a laugh “It’s funny actually… Though, I do wish ponies would be more respectful to each other, at least in cities like Manehatten.”
“Hmph, I agree. How could ponies be so rude to a Princess?! Not proper, not proper at all” Diamond says as she tries to sound as sophisticated as possible, still doing her best to impress Celestia.
“Very true, that’s why I’m glad a place like Twilight’s school will be opening soon. Teaching and spreading friendship in the way she dreams will hopefully minimize such a problem to the bare bone minimum. Oh, speaking of which, will you two be attending?” Celestia asks, with a sweet and loving smile on her face.
“No, I think I’ve mastered friendship already. While it’d be an honor to be in Princess Twilight’s school, it might take my focus away from being a real princess myself” Diamond stands tall with a satisfied smile on her face, feeling she took a wise course of action. She made herself already seem like a master of friendship.
“I’m not either, I’d rather not say the reasons.” You just didn’t feel like it at this point. You mastered friendship and you didn’t want to be under Twilight. Ok sure, it can help would be villains find the right path, but that’s all it has going for it.
“I see, well, I won’t pry then. In any case, may I borrow your colt for a moment, Diamond? I promise to return him to you quickly.” Celestia asks
“Promise? You’re not going to use your girly wiles to make him fall in love with you, right? I read princesses can do that! But, you know, you’re Princess Celestia, So I think there's a high chance you won’t do that! You wouldn’t let him passing that test attract you, right?” Diamond said with a shiver, pouting at Princess Celestia, her questions coming out at a rapid pace.
G-guh! D-did she? Was she really afraid you’d fall for Celestia? Well, maybe, Celestia was hot. But the fact that you were still internally mad at her took away any real attraction towards her and her juicy sunbutt.
Celestia was taken aback by Diamond’s worries, even she hadn’t realized that her love for you ran so deep as to fear her in regard of love and attraction “N-no, you needn’t worry. Part of being a Princess is self control. And besides, he’s far too young for me.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right!” Diamond said with relief “I forgot you’re like, ten million years old or something.”
OHHHHHH, HOLY SHIT! You had to turn around to hide your smile, because that was one sick burn.
Hell, Celestia tensed up at those words, and gave her cheek a quick rub as she subconsciously checked herself for a wrinkle. She then looked to Diamond and gave her a meek nod “Y-yes, that’s, sort of right. Ahrm, erm, I’ll be stepping out now. I-it was nice seeing all of you… Hmmm” She took a breath, and gave Spoiled a serious look for a moment, causing her to tense “And Mrs. Rich, I very much enjoyed myself today, I’ll be keeping a closer eye on you.” Celestia’s expression then became pleasant “I wouldn’t want to miss anything else you might have planned.”
Mrs. Rich gulped, and quaked where she stood as she bowed “T-thank you, you r-r-really do honor me, Princess Celestia” Wow, it was odd seeing her shaky like that. You didn't think anything could scare her.
Celestia nods to her, then bows to the Riches as she winks to Diamond “Take care for now, and remember what I told you, Princess Diamond”
“I will! I super will! A-and don’t be too long with Anon, o-ok?” Diamond seemed excited and meek at the same time. And told her? Told her what?
“I’ll remember.” Celestia said as she made her exit, expecting you to follow.
Fucking dammit. Surely this won’t end poorly, right? Why did she even want to speak to you privately? Things went fine! The conversation was fine! Any Gary Stu would have loved this attention. You? Where’s a gun when you need one? you need to suck down on a bullet.
You both step out to the stairway, and head out through the entrance of the V.I.P. box. You were tense, the fuck did she want? “Princess Celestia, why are we alone?”
Celestia lets out a sorrowful sigh as she looks up at the bright blue sky. “Because there’s something I’d like to talk to you about, even though perhaps I shouldn’t”
Wut? What did she want? Why shouldn’t she? “Why talk to me in private then? Why at all?” You really didn’t want to have this conversation if you could avoid it. If it was this level of.. Whatever it was, then you didn’t want to deal with it, not with Celestia involved anyway.
Celestia’s body tensed for a moment. She sensed your displeasure, and whatever she had to say, it seemed even she didn’t like it. “I think you know why. My sister suggested I keep things casual with you, but it’s difficult when you happen to be the second pony I’ve ever known… That I’ve hurt.”
That she hurt? Did she mean…? No, she did, she meant the shit with Chrysalis. So then, now she wants to settle things about that? Well, about fucking time! And the mention of Luna, it was the same thing Luna had spoken to you about. No doubt Luna had some feeling that this topic still haunted you deep inside, as she knew it bothered Celestia as well. She must have felt that avoiding those thoughts altogether whenever you two happen to be around each other would be the only way to avoid an altercation. Well, you can’t be blamed for this, Celestia is the one who started it. The only thing you wondered about, in regard to Celestia's words, was this other pony she hurt. “Do you mean with Chrysalis? Yeah, you did. You threatened me, tricked me, and cost me a good friend. So what, are you apologizing? Kinda late for that, ain’t it? And what do you mean by ‘second pony’? Who else did you hurt?”
“My sister…” Celestia says, without a dubious or shady tone in her two words. “Anon, I wanted to speak to you so I could apologize for how I had treated you when Chrysalis was with you. Like my sister, I treated things as if I knew best, and without thought as to how you truly felt on the matter. And for that, I’m sorry.”
Wut?
No… Wait. She was apologizing? NOW SHE CHOOSES TO APOLOGIZE?! And wait, why? Why compare you to Luna? What’s her sthick? And did she fucking still think she was right? Because you didn’t hear her say she was wrong. “Yeah… Ok. You’re sorry, but you still think you’re right, don’t you?”
Celestia didn’t act like you expected her to, she didn’t seem shocked that you didn’t immediately accept her apology. She let out a heavy sigh, and looked down, as if in shame. “I do, but…” She then looks ahead with determination “Look at the end result. An entire race, enslaved by their own mother, free from her grasp and able to do what is in their hearts. I gave her that same choice, Anon, and she chose to reject it. My apologies are for the way I treated you and Discord only, It was… Deplorable”
You let out a disgusted chuckle “Deplorable? No, it was worse than that” Fuck this, she was the one who decided to start this, so Luna couldn’t blame you for what you were going to say now. For a long time you tried to look past that moment, or more so, the way Celestia handled it. She tricked you, manipulated you, and threatened you. If that was the kind of shit that made Luna into Nightmare Moon, then you too had every right to be pissed off. “You couldn’t just leave it alone!” You angrily point your hoof at her. “I had everything under control until you and the other princesses showed up. From Twilight nearly banishing me, to your sister’s dream spying, to you… You…” You growled, fury building up within you as memories flowed into your head “She was under control! She helped me save another dimension. No matter what you say, no one who is that evil would have done what she did, even given the circumstances!”
Celestia could tell you were going to be difficult. She couldn’t believe the stance you still took after all this time. “Anon, you surprise me” She says, doing her best to remain calm. “She had been working her way to breaking Discord’s curse. Surely you have come to realize that at this point. She may have been your friend, but she worked towards a goal of domination nonetheless.”
“Hmph” You knew that already, she had manipulated a distraught Discord into getting a free pass to wander Equestria as your sister. And she was using Scrappy in finding any way to break the curse. “So? There was only so far she can go. Even if she got to her throne… And? She’d be alone, there’d be no way for her to do anything. Heck, if you wanted to reform the changelings, that would have been the perfect time. With her away, Thorax could have done his thing and I’d still have a shot at reforming her! But no, it was your way or the highway. And only NOW do you want to apologize? That’s screwed up, Celestia, even for you!”
Celestia started to show signs of frustration. She obviously didn’t expect or want the conversation to go down this road. She must have thought her apology wouldn’t have incited such rage in you. “Anon, let me explain this to you in a way you can understand. One, she would have still been uncursed and with a throne that can remove even Discord’s power. Foalnapping somepony you care about to use as a hostage would have certainly been her penultimate move. With no way to penetrate her barrier without going in defenseless, she would have had what she wanted eventually. And no, sending an army in wouldn’t work, especially with her acquired new found cruelty. She would have threatened to take her hostage’s life unless her demands were met, that I’m sure of. And even if she didn’t, there’s still too large a risk.” Celestia gives you a hard stare “Tell me I’m wrong, Anon. If you can tell me that and why, I’ll concede right now.”
It was obvious to you that she still felt in the right. It made you feel that her apology wasn’t as genuine as she’d lead you to believe. Whether that was true or not was not on your mind however. Instead, you met her challenge head on. “You’re wrong! Even if Chrysalis was still evil, she wouldn’t go as far as to piss me off enough to hate her. Despite what you think, she really was getting better. So, you gonna back off now?”
But she would not, Celestia was in for the long haul in this conversation. What the hell?! Why?! Why won’t she back the fuck off! “No, because you can’t be sure of that.”
“Neither can you” You growl “Why, Celestia? Just why?! Really? Because you were sorry? And yet you still want to defend your actions?! Well…” Wait. If that was her reason, did that mean that for all the years she lived, she never pissed anyone off? Was she really doing her best, almost mechanically so, to make everyone around her happy? Now that you think of it, aside from Nightmare Moon, some villains, and Discord, you have never ever heard anyone say anything or think negatively of Celestia. No, they usually treat her as the end all be all of everything. And then there was alternate Celestia. She fell apart to insanity when she felt she failed her kind, Sunset, Luna, and Philomena. You knew Pinkie could lose her marbles easily, and even she was more mentally stable than her in that universe. Could it be that Celestia… Has the same kind of obsession you have? That if she fails someone, that she does her best to fix it? Like, if she didn’t or couldn’t, she’d turn into some being like Nightmare Moon? or some shit like that?
Oh no, goddammit. She really did want to apologize, but she won’t budge because her care also goes to those she’s sworn to protect, which now included the changelings. She’s stuck with a conundrum. She wanted to apologize, perhaps even make sure something like this never happens again. And yet, she felt the end result was the best possible outcome. And giving it a little thought, Luna managed to save you a huge amount of trouble by helping Scootaloo after she got majorly drained. If Celestia had to be right about one thing, is that Chrysalis was able to overstep herself as she pleased without much repercussion. Maybe she really could find a way to win in the end. Still, she was your friend, one you enjoyed your time with greatly.
You had two choices, to tell Celestia off, or meet her down the middle. And to not set off the local Princess, and to maybe finally make good with Celestia, you choose the latter option. You look up at her, and could see both restraint and agitation coursing through her entire body. You sigh, calm down, and hoped this works. Because if you finished the rant you had, you'd have no doubt caused another Nightmare incident. “Well… Ugh, Celestia. Look, I know I did some things wrong, and should have handled things better. But when it comes to my friendship with Chrysalis, despite everything that’s happened, I’d like to at least think that maybe one day, she’d come around. Yeah, things came out better than anypony could have hoped, and for that I’m glad. But I’ll always have that wish that things would have worked out the way I wanted it to, because I care about her. So, if it’s all the same to you, can we just stop talking about this? I accept your apology, I can’t reverse what has happened, but I still wish you had trusted me better. I mean, come on, I helped save Equestria from the Storm King. I don’t wanna sound rude, but considering how well you did against him, I feel like you owe me more of your trust and understanding. So yeah, is that fair? Is that ok? Can you just accept my friendship with her?”
Celestia heard your words. She calmed herself, but she was still frowning as she looked to you with worry. “If you were to run into her again, I assume you’d do your best to help her, rather than to bring her to justice. I’m right about that, correct? Please be truthful with me, Anon.”
“Yeah, if I did run into her again, I’d do my best to reform her or at least try to get her to calm down. I mean, you sort of gave Discord that chance, right? Can you blame me for wanting to do the same thing? Just to remind you, Discord brought Equestria closer to destruction than Chrysalis ever could have.”
Celestia does a slow nod, and sighs “You are correct about that. Even after his treason, he was given a chance. Heh…” Celestia lets out a lamented chuckle “I suppose I’d be a hypocrite to chastise you or try to stop you. I don’t like it, but I can’t stop you either. But please, I ask you, should that happen, please tread cautiously, and do not let her manipulate you. You must remember, when it comes to her, she is capable of anything, and I would…” She stops, and looks at you with great worry in her eyes “I’m afraid of her hurting the ponies I have sworn to protect. That same fear is why I made the threats before. And now I am trying to overlook that fear to say that you have my blessing to try to reform her, should you meet her again. It’s hard, Anon, it’s hard to know she’s out there, possibly hurting others for her own benefit. It’s even harder to try to overlook the relationship you both share. I won’t threaten you, it’s wrong to do so. So all I ask is your promise to take ABSOLUTE caution should you actually meet with her again. Can you do that for me?”
She was struggling. She didn’t want to upset you, and she didn’t want to put her subjects at risk. To even ask you to make that promise, it meant she expected you to not let Chrysalis hurt anyone under you watch, and it also meant breaking that promise would lead to all kinds of trouble and trust issues once again. She had ponies to protect and watch over, so even the promise existing went against her sensibilities. If it meant her calming her shit, then fine, you’d make that promise. “You have my word. But only if you’ll calm down, relax, and chill. We can be friends without you being suspicious of me all the time. Celestia, I never wanted to hate you at all, you know? But everything before really brought me close to it. So, yeah, will you relax a little? I’m a lot smarter than before, I’ve matured, I understand things better. So I can promise you I’ll handle it a lot better this time, if I get the chance anyway.”
Celestia nodded, and raised her wings and slowly brought them to you, to bring you close for a hug. Her voice cracked a little, she was tearing up as she did her best to remain composed. “Thank you, and I really am sorry. If I could, I would have wanted everypony to be happy, even her.”
You believed her, and calmed your own nerves. If she was willing to calm down, then you’d do the same. “I’m sorry too. It’s just kinda hard, you know? It was hard balancing my life way back when. When I had to lie about nearly everything. I was essentially living three lives. My Equestrian life, my normal life, and the life of having to deal with everyone who was suspicious of me or just downright didn’t trust me. I just want ponies to trust me. I want you to trust me. I want to be able to go about my life without somepony getting in my face over my life choices. So, please, I’ve made the promise, so relax ok? Can we just be friends, without all this… crap?” You were sincere, you wanted this. You just wanted to be able to do this, and to be friends with Celestia without her breathing down your throat.
“Yes… Yes, I think so. I’d like to be able to have this friendship with you again, a friendship I’d like to have with anypony, and everypony, if I was able. So… erm.” Celestia ended the hug, and looked into your eyes with a weak smile “is there any more ‘crap’ between us, Anon?”
For now? No “Nah, if you’re willing to trust me, then I’m willing to keep my word. Oh, and…” Now that things were ok, there was one other matter you need to make sure of before anything else. “I think Mrs. Rich learned her lesson, so if you were gonna say anything to her, can you not? I’m sure she understands what she did was wrong.”
Celestia nodded “I can do that. I could already see in her eyes and in her demeanor that she understood her mistakes. I admit, I’m more upset at Discord. Or was. Now that everything's alright, there’s no reason to be upset at him any more.” Celestia then lets out a gentle giggle “Poor Twilight, she nearly tore off the fur on her rump trying to get out of her seat. Looking back at it now, it’s actually kind of funny. Even when she stood, you could see some of her bottom was quite bare”
Heh, you found that a little funny. But believing you were going to die during that situation, you couldn’t blame Twilight for that reaction. “That is pretty funny. Actually, speaking of scared ponies.” Ok Anon, show a sign of goodwill, make a connection. “I wouldn’t mind challenging you to another scare battle for next Nightmare Night. I mean, you kinda cheated last time, and I’d like to have a legit chance in scaring the cutie mark off your butt.”
Celestia, at first, seemed surprised by your words. But then she gave you a warm smile, and nodded. “I suppose those pies were a bit underhoofed, but we did need a way to even out the playing field some. Personally, I didn’t expect the dream realm to limit you and Discord that much. But this time we can face each other in the waking world if you so desire.” Celestia then looked to you as she wiggled her eyebrows “That way my sister and I’s victory can be considered truly official.”
Ohhhhh no, now that was a challenge. You point your hoof at her as you spout off “Screw that! Did you forget how trained up I am now? There’s no way you can beat me and Dad! I mean, you couldn’t even beat him without the elements. So yeah, in the waking world? That win is already in the bag.”
Celestia let out a calm giggle “We’ll see about that. I still have a few extra tricks up my horseshoes. But…” Celestia’s smile becomes warm and sunny, just as it should be “However it turns out, I hope the four of us have fun during the battle, as that is all that matters in the end. Thank you, Anon. I think I’ll be able to rest easier now. I hope you have a good day, and I wish you good tidings on your upcoming ‘wedding’ “
“Going already? Heh, I’m guessing you had to make your schedule tight just to be able to come here today.”
Celestia nodded “I did. Given how quickly this all was planned out, I had to make last minute adjustments just to attend today and I still have to congratulate young Scootaloo. You take care, alright?”
You do a polite bow to her “You too, I’m glad we had this chat.”
And with that, Celestia left. You just stood there, took a breath, and fell on your backside. Holy shit…
Finally…
You got through to her. You were so relieved that you didn’t care that you were laying there and getting your nice clothes dirty. Hell, with the way you handled it, you could now deal with Chrysalis once again if she ever showed up. Give it a much better try now that you were smarter, stronger, and more in control.
Hell, you raise your cloak and pull over your saddlebag to grab your map. Since Chrysalis was mentioned, you wanted to see for sure that she wasn’t here. That green glow from the exam was probably the statue’s magical engine or whatever going awry or something. It couldn’t possibly be…
“OH SHIT NO! NO NO NO!” You saw it, your eyes widened when you saw it. Chrysalis’s dot was moving away from town, away from the Colosseum. “Don’t tell me… Don’t fucking… “. It hit you like a brick. Celestia had mentioned Chrysalis could have possibly pulled off something humanly cruel to succeed in her plans, but you were sure she’d never do anything to piss you off. No, instead, she tried to fucking kill you?! And Scootaloo?! Oh no… No no no… It can’t be true...
You were going spastic, just… how?! WHY?! Why would she try to kill you?! Ok, sure, she may feel pretty betrayed, that could be a thing. But goddammit! You two were still good friends, right?! Then why would she publically try to kill you?! Maybe, just maybe you can…
No, you can’t. You already spent the horn’s two charges for the day. God fucking dammit. “DAMMMIIIIIIIIITTT!”. There was no way to find out, no way to know! Why, just…
“Anon? Anon! What’s wrong with you?! Are you alright, are you ok?!” You hear a frantic girly shriek behind you before you feel yourself getting snuggled and hugged “Did you suddenly get attacked by other fillies?!”. Oh, it was Diamond Tiara. She was looking around already, trying to spot anyone who was closeby. But other than the ponies leaving the Colosseum, no one was around you. “Nopony at all. Hmph, nopony even coming to give you a congratulations. That’s just not right!”
Shit… You nearly lost your marbles there. Fuck, how were you going to handle this? How were you going to handle her? You can’t just go and tell Celestia you were wrong. No, no… You had to get more information first. You had to, when you get the chance, speak to Scrappy and see if he knows anything. He still had some devotion to her, so he has to know something. As for Diamond, you began to soften up as she cuddled you close. “I think it might be my getup”
“Maybe, still. Hmph… Mnnn…” She now looks to you, worried. She helps you to your hooves and brushes off your clothes to remove the dirt. “What happened then? Are you ok?”
Do not let her know, Anon, do not let her know. You put on a big fake smile for her and say “I just realized that I… Uhm… used both my charges for the day. I wanted to impress Princess Celestia with a trick, but y’know. Hahah… Heh.”
“Oh… Wait!” Diamond suddenly became frantic, and looked into your eyes with worried desperation “You didn’t embarrass yourself, did you?! Is that why she left?! Anon! You can’t be doing that! What if word spreads and everypony starts treating you badly?! Grrrr…” Diamond growled at the very thought “Which they better not! Or else…”
Oh god, did you really worry her that much?! It was like she was willing to murder… Don’t finish that thought, you don’t want to think of Diamond as a yandere. “No, no! It’s ok. She just had important princess stuff to do, that’s all, she didn’t make fun of me or anything. Heck, she went to congratulate Scootaloo before she actually left. Everything is ok! A-ok! No reason to think otherwise!” You say, obviously lying as sweat came down your brow.
But Diamond still buys it. “Oh, ok then. I guess she did have to squeeze in coming here into her schedule after all. And it’s good she went to congratulate Scootaloo, she deserves it!” Diamond said with a sweet smile “Now come on! We gotta go to Silver Spoon’s and tell her the good news!”
Silver Spoon? “Uh, why? Why isn’t she even here? I’d think she’d have been here to see all this.”
“She got sick! Oh, right!” Diamond giggled to herself “I forgot to tell you that! I erm… I guess all the excitement kind of overwhelmed me. Ah well, doesn’t matter. Let’s go!”
But wait… What about food? “Erm, actually Diamond. I was kinda invited to eat out with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, that’s ok, right?”
“B-but…” Diamond pouts “Don’t you want to hang with me and Silver Spoon? And… wait, eat out?”
“Erm…” Your eyes went wide right there. What did she think you mean? What did she know?! What did you mean?! HOLY CRAP?! DID YOU INFER…
But before you could say anything else, she whaps you on the head with her hoof as she angrily berates you “You were about to let me take you away from eating and filling your belly?! Oh wait..” Diamond stops, and adorably contemplates on her own words “I guess we could eat at Silver Spoon’s. Then again, you are eating with an element. I could go with you, but then who is going to help Silver Spoon get better? In fact, if I stay with her alone, we can talk about the wedding without you finding out anything.” Diamond nods to herself, then gives you a hard stare as she points towards the direction to the trainee’s lobby, or whatever it was called “Ok Anon, go eat! And you better not show up later and eavesdrop. Ok?”
Thank God, or Celestia, or Discord… whatever. She was willing to let you go and eat. Although, hanging out with her didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. She picked up on your nuances and worry too easily, and you needed some quiet time to sort out your thoughts. Not only on Chrysalis, but this whole Neighsay business. “Ok, thank you, Diamond, you’re the best” You reach your head over to kiss her nose. But she puts her hoof on your forehead and gently pushes back.
She then points at you again, with the same serious expression “Not yet, Anon. You also have to promise to come see me tonight.”
Tonight? Should you ask why? No, don’t ask, that would upset her. “Ok”
“Ok? You’re not going to ask why?” Diamond said, seeming insulted by your answer.
Dammit! But! But you didn’t want to insult her! That’s why you just said ‘ok’. “I just didn’t...erm, want to insult you by asking why. So, erm… why? I guess?”
She then gives you a gentle kiss on the nose as she looks at you with a blush “So you can wish your princess good night, of course! Also, so you can tell me when I can sleep over. I mean, duh, wasn’t it obvious?”
Uhhhh, if it was obvious, then why did she want you to ask about it at all? Ugh, girls, they never make fucking sense sometimes. “Right, you want to sleep at my house… with me. On my bed…” And oh boy, did that make you go deep red.
Even if she didn’t understand it, hearing you shakingly say those words did seem to put a thought in her head that caused her to blush “Mhmm… So we can erm, cuddle, and talk about stuff. Like, totally cool stuff.” She said as she shyly looked away.
Cuddling. You did like to cuddle, and you did want to cuddle with her. It’s not like you’d slip up and do something… lewd. Nah, it’d be ok. And it’d probably feel a lot less lonely having her closeby. “I’ll get that set up for sure, my princess. You have fun with Silver, ok?” You say as you give her a smooch on her nose, which she allows this time.
“I-I will, and you have fun too! And make sure you fill your belly, ok?” She smooches you back. “And make sure no filly tries to get you to go home with her. Got it?” She looks into your eyes to make sure there would be no deceit in your words. Cute, but she really wouldn’t be able to tell either way.
Besides, you had no eye for any other filly, so you give her a sure nod. “I will, and don’t worry. My eyes? Only for you”
And with that, you went on your way around the Colosseum towards the lobby Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo were in. As you circled the Colosseum, you could see some ponies gathered around in crowds. Some were discussing the fate of the Colosseum itself, others about you, some even eyeing you and trying to make an approach towards you. But you made haste, not wanting to stop for anything. Chrysalis’s presence was still on your mind, and you had to focus.
When you reached the lobby entrance, the ponies guarding the door had already gone, and there didn’t seem to be any sign of Celestia either as you opened the door to go on inside. Well, that was quick. You also decide to shed the clothes you were wearing. If Diamond didn't like them, then there was no point in keeping them on.
“...And did you hear her?! Even Princess Celestia thinks I’m Wonderbolt material! That’s… So… AWESOME!” You could hear Scootaloo cheer in the main foyer of the room, hopping up and down on the couch with glee. “I can’t wait to tell the girls!”
Rainbow Dash, as you could see, was just looking upon her with pride. It was a sweet moment to see that Rainbow Dash truly saw Scootaloo as more than just a little kid, as some sort of little sister. She even had a tear in her eye as she watched Scootaloo happily hop about.
But you had to stop this if you wanted to talk to Scootaloo. You knew, you just knew, that you had to get some information somehow, and Scootaloo really is a good way to get it. “Heya guys, looks like Celestia’s visit went well. She just came and went?”
“Anon!” Scootaloo hopped down immediately and trotted in place in front of you happily “It went super well! She thinks I’m Wonderbolt material! Just like Rainbow Dash and Captain Spitfire! That’s soooo awesome! Super awesome! Isn’t it awesome?!”
It was, it really was. But dammit, this was important. You give her a smile and nod “That is super awesome indeed! But erm… Can I borrow you for a second? Hey Dash, can I borrow her for a second?”
“Wha? Why? We were just about to go catch up with Spitfire. Said she wanted to treat us herself. Can’t you save it for later? And why private? C’mon Anon, whatever you got to say to Scootaloo, you can tell me too.” Rainbow Dash says, ignorant of the importance of what you had to say.
“She’s kind of right, Anon. What’s so important that you can’t tell Rainbow Dash? I mean, I know Captain Spitfire made me a Junior Wonderbolt, but Rainbow Dash is one of the best! So she should be in on it.” Scootaloo, of course, agreed with Rainbow Dash. Because why not?
Fuck. Well, maybe you could still convince her. Scootaloo, out of the three CMC anyway, was a good friend, and understood the most how you felt about Chrysalis. So she should hopefully follow your lead if you at least whisper to her the subject of what you want to talk about. So you ease in close to her ear and whisper... “Scootaloo, it’s Chrysalis, she was here. Please, I need to talk to you alone about this.”
Scootaloo’s eyes went wide, her ears stiffen as her body shivers just from those words. She then looks to you, then to Rainbow Dash. What was she going to say? Was that even a good idea?
“Hey, what did you tell her? Scootaloo, you ok? You look a little spooked.” Rainbow Dash asked, worried as to what suddenly got her so freaked out.
“Oh um! Nothing spooked me! Ha ha!” Scootaloo laughed meekly as she started to back up towards the entrance of the course itself. “But erm, I do gotta talk to Anon alone and stuff. Y’know, it’s kind of embarrassing for him.”
Now Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at you, wondering even further what the hell you told her “Yeah? Like what?”
Shit. Something embarrassing, something… Oh goddammit, fine! But you were sure Fluttershy would find out about this later and do her best to “help”. You take a breath, and say, as honestly as you can “B-bed wetting issues. Y’know, Scoots is somepony I really tru-”
“Woah! Woah! Say no more, Anon. Erm… uhhh…” Rainbow Dash didn’t know what to say to that as she rubbed her leg with her hoof and looked away with a grimace “Yeah… go… erm… I’m gonna go get Captain Spitfire, so erm… yeah…” And with that, Rainbow Dash left to find Spitfire, leaving you and Scootaloo alone.
“Bed wetting, really?” Scootaloo said as she stopped making her way towards the entrance to the course, looking at you with an eyebrow raise “I’m kind of surprised Rainbow Dash bought that.”
“It was the only thing I could think of! Sheesh! And that’s not important… Scoots, I need your help”
Scootaloo took a long breath as her hateful memories of Chrysalis began to fill her mind. She looked at you, not in worry, but in a bit of suspicion of you instead. “With Chrysalis? You need my help with her? Anon, come on! I thought we were all done with her already! She was evil, and holding back her own kids! She’s not even supposed to be here anymore! Did you see her or something? What’s going on?!”
Dammit Scootaloo, why did she have to be inquisitive? Ok sure, Chrysalis gave her every reason to hate her. And… that’s it really. Ok, just remain calm and explain the situation. “No, I saw her leaving on my map. And…” On second thought, leave out the part where you think she tried to kill the both of you. Without conclusive evidence, and with Scootaloo already on the hate train, that was probably a bad idea. “Erm… Yeah, look. I haven’t talked to her, but she had to be here for a reason, don’t you think?”
“Puh…” Scootaloo scoffed “Probably wanted to try to take out the princesses or something, but realized she couldn’t do anything because she’s dumb.”
“Yeah, well… I need to figure out why she was here, the real reason she was here. So I was wondering, do you think you can ask Scrappy if he knows anything? I’d ask, but he’d probably make me challenge him for the information.” Please Scoots, she has to at least do that.
“If he knows anything? Anon! Scrappy is totally a good guy now. He’d never ever talk to Chrysalis about anything! Heck, he’d try to bring her to justice if he could.” Scootaloo said, insulted that you’d even come close to suggesting Scrappy would even go near her anymore.
“Scoots! Come on! You know that’s not true! He loves all of you, but also loves her. He’d do the same thing I do and try to get her, his mother, to be good. I’m not suggesting he’d betray us or anything, I just need information. If Chrysalis is planning something, I need to know, if only because I am the only one who could properly trace her if need be.” Or rather, you didn’t want the princesses involved, as you were sure Twilight has some magical bullshit that could easily trace her.
Scootaloo sat on her butt and crossed her hooves, silent, and unmoved.
“Scoots, please. I’m asking you as a friend. I know Scrappy would never join her or anything like that. But there’s still a chance she may have tried to talk to him, and asked him to keep it a secret. If he knows anything, then I need to know too. If it’s something dangerous…” As if, if she really wanted you dead “Then I need to stop her. Please, help me out here.”
Scootaloo didn’t budge from her position, but you could tell she was thinking hard on it. After awhile, she finally relented and let out a heavy sigh. “Oh boy, I really hoped she wouldn’t bother anypony ever again. Anon…” She looked to you, with genuine worry in her heart. She hated to even think she'd tried to go near Scrappy, but it also hurt her to see you so distressed over it. Especially since she thought you still thought there was any good in her. “If it’ll help you, then ok, I’ll ask Scrappy. Better we find out than just letting her do what she wants. But you gotta promise me not to do anything dumb, alright? If you’re gonna tell me about all this, then that makes us a team! And… erm…” Scootaloo started to think on all the praise she got today, as well as being given the title of Junior Wonderbolt. “You and me? We gotta stick by each other, no matter what. I know what I did that one time was stupid, but I’ll be more careful this time. If Chrysalis is doing something bad, then you’ll totally need my help, ok?” She holds her hoof out towards you, in trust you’ll shake it “Partner?”
You look at her hoof. Dammit, did she really want to get THIS involved again? You could handle it this time! You knew you could! All you needed her to do was get the info out of Scrappy, that’s all. If you had to shake her hoof, then fine, but you weren’t truly going to let her in on anything important. You had to protect her, so that meant truly facing Chrysalis alone. “Ok, partner.” You reach for her hoof, and give it a shake. “Thanks Scoots, I knew I could count on you.”
“Don’t sweat it, Anon. We’re a hero duo, you and me. The Hero Colt and the Junior Wonderbolt! We’re like, Wonderbolt Hero Duo… or something like that. Erm, heh, I’ll think of a better team name later. But right now, let’s just forget about her, ok? I wanna eat already.” Scootaloo said as she gave her tummy a rub “I’m starving!”
It was clear Scootaloo didn’t want to think about it too much. That she wanted Chrysalis as far away from her mind as possible. She was worried that you were around, yes. But in the back of her head, despite agreeing with you, she felt Twilight and the others would handle it as they always would. But just the same, she felt as well, that if you somehow ended up in danger, she’d be there to help you, just as you saved her when the platform collapsed.
“Alright, I need some food myself. Kind of got a few other things I gotta do today. Erm, thanks Scootaloo, really. I couldn’t ask for a better partner.” You say, being mostly truthful.
“No prob! I don’t like Chrysalis very much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. You got my back, right? Well, that means I got yours.” She says with a friendly grin.
While you muddled in your own thoughts. You and Scootaloo are caught offguard when you see Rainbow Dash walking backwards through the entrance, struggling with something. “Sheesh! This is heavy! Was this really necessary?!” Rainbow Dash said with several grunts as she stepped back enough to reveal that she was balancing a huge sealed bowl on her muzzle, but it was also being balanced on another muzzle belonging to…
“I didn’t say I was gonna take you all out, I said I was gonna get take out! You think we’re gonna be able to eat without a crowd rushing at us when they're still hyped up about this whole thing? Besides, what are you complaining about?! I paid top bit for this thing.” On the other side of Rainbow Dash, helping her balance the bowl, was Spitfire. The bowl was fucking massive, it made you wonder how she even got this far without any help at all… but probably best not to think about the specifics. On her back was a smaller bowl of what smelled like warm garlic sticks while her tail held up a bucket with ice and drinks in it. “This meal is more for them than it is for us. So stop bellyachin’ and help me set this thing down!” You and Scootaloo stood in awe as Rainbow and Spitfire carefully placed down the bowl. Spitfire then used her wings to set the breadsticks down. She then, with a quick snap of her tail, tossed the bucket over the bowl, landing right beside it without spill. “There we go! Ok then…” Spitfire used her teeth to grab the seal on the bowl, and pulled it back and then off, revealing a near endless pool of spaghetti. It had sauces, a slight amount of pepper, Asiago, Oregano, and some hayballs. Holy shit, it smelled so damn good.
“Wow… Is this for us? A-are you both gonna eat with us? I mean, right here? As in… Privately?” Scootaloo was starstruck for sure, she didn’t expect a private meal with her hero and the Captain of the Wonderbolts.
“Yeah” Spitfire said with a shrug as she sat down “After all that? I think you two really deserve it. But relax on that attitude, soldier, we’re all ponies here.”
Scootaloo saluted as she did her best to calm down “Yes ma’am, Captain Spitfire” before whispering “Soooo cool”
Your thoughts had been temporarily vanquished by that hulking bowl of spaghetti, it looked so damn good. “So, we can have as much as we want then?”
“Yep! Enough here to feed ten of us really, so don’t feel like you need to hold back on pigging out. Didn’t expect it myself, but…” Rainbow Dash licked her lips when she looked at a single bottle of apple cider sticking out of the bucket “That’s how amazing our Captain is”
“Yeah well, like I said, well deserved. And I kinda didn’t have room to bring bowls or utensils or anything like that, so really, just pig out, I’ll overlook it this once.” Spitfire said as she sat by the bowl and started eating from it like a horse… Grazing on the grass. Huh…
And so the four of you sat, ate, and chatted. There were sodas for you and Scootaloo, Apple Cider for Dash, and Spitfire just had a thermos of iced coffee. Weird she’d be drinking coffee at this time, but she probably didn’t get any sleep due to the test. You also noticed she was the least enthused out of the four of you. Indeed, her answers were small as Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash basically traded how “cool” everything was about the exam and such.
“...Yep, Scootaloo. After today? I can tell you’re gonna make one super awesome Wonderbolt when you grow up!” Rainbow Dash said with certainty as she took a swig of cider.
“T-thanks, Rainbow Dash! That really means a lot to me! You can bet I’m gonna keep training my wings until I’m able to fly just as good as you and…” Scootaloo suddenly quieted down for a moment “Y’know, I mean... mnnn…” Scootaloo just tilted her head to the side as her wings gave a few weak flaps. “I…” Poor Scoots, you knew just connecting such a promising future to her wings always crushed her spirits. You wanted to say something at this moment to cheer her up, but Spitfire and Rainbow Dash were far more on point than you were, most likely due to your own shit you had to worry about.
“C’mon, Scootaloo, how many times do I gotta tell ya? You’re just a late bloomer, that’s all. And considering you beat the tar out of this exam? Yeah, when you do start flying, You’re gonna be the best Wonderbolt ever!” Rainbow Dash says with an enthusiastic wave of her hoof.
“Best Wonderbolt? Maybe. I don’t like to get anypony’s hopes up too high like that…” Spitfire says, already dealing a blow to Scootaloo's ego. Spitfire purposely waited for Scootaloo to hang her head down in sadness again before she said “But you don’t gotta worry when it comes to becoming a fully fledged Wonderbolt. You got the skills, kid. All the years I’ve been Captain and I’ve never seen anypony use their wings to coast across mud like that. That requires some serious wingpower. I’ll be real with you, Scootaloo, it just seems to me your wings are more built for horizontal movement, and trust me, that is some movement. So when you’re able to go vertical? Oh boy, I just hope you don’t make the other cadets look like parasprites, don’t wanna hurt their ego too bad, y’know?”
Scootaloo gulped, confused, yet feeling a huge sense of pride grow within herself “Y-you really think I’m that good?”
Spitfire slurps up a long strand of spaghetti and gives Scootaloo a cool smirk and says “I don’t ‘think’, kid.” Before giving her a wink.
“Woooooooooooooah! I just got super complimented by Rainbow Dash AND Captain Spitfire! And… A-and…” Scootaloo fell on her back, with a cute squee and warm smile as she wiggled about, her voice was now small and weak from too much excitement “S-so awesome…”
You had to smile at that. That was really heart-warming. But as you looked at the pride filled filly, Spitfire suddenly says some words to you too. “So, Anon. You haven’t really said much, something on your mind?”
Gnh! Shit! You quickly look back at Spitfire as you take a swig of soda, keeping your cool. You didn’t need anyone getting into your business. “Not really, other than wanting to thank you. Scootaloo is one of my best pals, so thanks for making her happy.”
That seems to throw her off, if she was suspicious of anything anyway. “I wasn’t making her happy, just stating facts. How she reacts is her own thing.” She lied, she totally meant to make her happy. “Y’know, I’ve actually been wanting to sit down with you and have a little chat.”
A little chat? “Erm. Why?”
“Because, I kinda wanna know how you helped beat the Storm King. I bet it’s one radical story. I also want to apologize to you… Well…” Spitfire lets out a defeated sigh “The both of you actually. The Wonderbolts are about a lot of things. But above else, we value safety. And despite knowing how dangerous this all could have been, I didn’t call it off. As the Captain of the Wonderbolts, I take full responsibility for that, so it’s my duty to not only apologize, but resign from my position if anypony here has any grievances. What happened here is a crime, and I can’t overlook that… So, y’know.” Spitfire gulped “Let me have it…”
Spitfire was obviously harboring a ton of guilt for what happened. Hell, she was complaining about safety issues before the exam even started. She felt so guilty that she just devolved into wanting to resign before you even got to your story. The meal itself must be part of her guilt too. This wasn’t her fault. Hell, you had to take some of the blame, as you could have declined Mrs. Rich and convinced Scootaloo to not take the exam as well, or forced her not to with your horn.
So, you just shrug at her words “Eh, it’s no problem. Trust me, worst things have happened to me. Nopony could have expected the platform to collapse. Besides, if you want the truth, I had an obligation to Mrs. Rich, so I would have done it whether you tried to stop me or not.”
“Woah, Captain Spitfire! It’s totally ok! Things just kind of got nuts, that’s all. If anything, it just proves how awesome me and Anon are. Actually, that kind of makes me think.” Scootaloo looks over to you with a huge cheerful smile and a point of her hoof “Why don’t you make Anon a Junior Wonderbolt too? I mean, he can fly, so he already meets half the requirements!”
“You two, you really didn’t have to acc- Wait” Amidst her appearing tears of joy of hearing she was forgiven, she suddenly found herself confused by Scootaloo’s words as she looked to you “You can fly?”
“Oh yeah! I forgot about that! Yeah, his dad gave him these wings that let him fly for a while. I forgot though, do they still work? Or did the Storm King screw em up?” Rainbow Dash asks you as she takes a garlic stick to munch on.
“They started working after he was defeated. And yeah, I can fly with them, but I don’t think the Wonderbolts are for me. Not insulting you guys or anything but, well, I’m a being of chaos and we don’t do order too well.” An excuse to be sure, you just didn’t want to be part of a team that were as seemingly useful as Celestia and her guards. Meaning, basically useless.
“No offense taken…” Spitfire sighs with relief, still reeling herself in after nearly throwing her career away. “And sorry if I seemed a little lame just now. I know it may not look it, but one of our number one concerns is about the safety of our cadets and members. And I guess today gave me a small reminder why that is. Trust me, I take pride in making sure everything is ship shape in my team and in the academy. Without safety and rules, everypony would be at a huge risk of getting really hurt and…” Suddenly she seemed to be getting all excited, nearly flying up, but Rainbow Dash immediately calls out to her to calm down.
"Woah! Woah! Relax, Cap! Let’s not scare the foals with the whole ‘drinking from a straw’ thing, k? Can we save it for the cadets, please?” Rainbow Dash said frantically, as she even could see Spitfire was really on edge.
“O-oh” Spitfire took a moment to sit back down, and compose herself “Right… Well, to make a long story short, safety is super important. And that platform collapsing on you both is exactly why we usually have much stricter relegations than what went on today.” Spitfire takes a swig of her drink to further calm herself, before looking back at you, cool and composed “So yeah, you mentioned the Storm King screwing up your wings. I mean, if you’re uncomfortable talking about him, I understand, but I really am interested.”
“Eh, the Storm King ain’t a big deal. In fact, you could say he’s just a pimple in the grand scheme of things.” You say with a low chuckle “But I’d also rather not talk about it either. It’d uh… Ruin the legend, I think” Rather, the fact that most of it was you in a fucking cage makes you not wanna talk about it. “And if you’re interested in my wings at all. Yeah, they let me fly for a limited time. I don’t really use them like I do the horn, but they come in handy sometimes. That good enough? The explanation I mean”
“Yep, just sounds like a magical extension to me. As for the Storm King, that’s a shame, I bet it was a really killer story. Sure you’re not willing to talk about it?” Spitfire asks, seemingly really interested in your story.
Which gave you a funny idea. “I mean, sure! If you’re willing to tell me how the Wonderbolts did against him.”
Spitfire and Rainbow Dash’s face grew grim from those words. Sure, Dash was with Twilight at the time, but even she knew she couldn’t do shit to him.
“C’mon, Anon. Don’t be mean. We all know the Wonderbolts are awesome! And Rainbow Dash has helped beat bad guys even tougher than that Storm King guy. Your dad was beat by her, remember?” Scootaloo reminded you, feeling irked by your words.
“Yeah, Scootaloo is right. Helped Princess Luna too, not to mention beat Tirek’s butt! So eh, can’t win em all, I guess, but I’ve still done awesome things” Rainbow Dash said, trying to raise her ego and renown some.
“I know, I know. Was just messing around…” You say with a chuckle. That was worth seeing Rainbow and Spitfire looking all spooked like that. “Anyway, if you wanna know about the Storm King, Well…”
You explain the story in your own way, omitting some of the more embarrassing moments, and making it seem like you wanted to be caged up as to figure out the enemy and their motives. You did keep the part of you getting ass whupped by the Storm King. It wouldn’t be a realistic story without the hero taking his licks. “Really, without Tempest getting in that final hit, everything would have fallen apart. The Storm King would have shown no mercy to any of us, the guy was a serious threat that I, for one, am glad that he was defeated before he destroyed Canterlot.”
“Now that’s quite a story. Yep, I can totally see why they call you the Hero Colt and how you got that mark of yours. I gotta say, Discord did really good adopting somepony like you as a son.” Spitfire commented, impressed by the story.
You chuckle with a sharp grin “Yeah well, I’m not afraid of doing what’s needed to save the day.”
“And normally, I’d say that kind of thinking is way too dangerous for a foal like you. But then again, you’re no normal foal. You seem to always manage to get out of the worst kinds of danger imaginable. But you’re also always throwing yourself into those kinds of dangers too. I want to tell you that you should be more careful, but you always seem to come out ok. So let me tell you this, Anon, you can only push your luck so much. Sometimes, you really wanna sit down and assess the situation from every angle first. It can mean the difference between victory and.. Well, you know.” Spitfire said, hesitating to go into whatever mood Rainbow Dash prevented her from entering.
And you knew she was right. When it came to Tempest, you got lucky. You had a million ways to stomp her on your first battle with her, but you chose to try to defeat her in a spectacular fashion, which only ended in failure. Indeed, had you not met Capper afterwards, you would have been royally fucked. “I understand, thanks for the advice, Captain.”
“Eh, can’t any of you just call me Spitfire right now? Not like we’re doing anything official,” Spitfire said, half grinning, and half groaning. “Hey, Dash, good work on training Anon. And Scootaloo, good job on that course. I know I complimented you already, but the fact you didn’t take any training at all from Dash really shows how skilled you really are. And Anon?” She raises her mug and nods towards you “You are one cool colt. Wouldn’t mind workin’ with you if anything big happens.”
You actually took that as quite the honor. Spitfire really respected you, as she should, considering how skilled you have become. And all those compliments to Scoots, Hah! You knew, you just knew, she’d probably be captain of the Wonderbolts herself one day.
Conversations went normal after that. Rainbow Dash cracking a few jokes, Spitfire loosening up about her own guilt and telling some stories about the Wonderbolts and their going ons, Scootaloo just about forgotten about Chrysalis as she enjoyed every moment. You? For a while you were actually into it too, talking about your sweet moves and magical prowess.
Even when dinner was over, moods stayed rather high. There was still some spaghetti in the bowl, but you all had your fill. Spitfire was the first to go, said she had stuff to do. She did give Scootaloo a hug though, something that made Scootaloo especially happy. You? You could still tell that some of today bothered her, she really did hate how it all went down, and how she essentially let it happen. Poor gal.
You looked at your empty soda cup for a moment, and rubbed your tummy. You were full, and for the moment, brimming of happiness and hope. It actually felt pretty good being around these three, well, these two now, since Scoots and Dash were still around. “So, what are we gonna do with the food?”
“No idea. Rainbow Dash, are you gonna take all this spaghetti home?” Scootaloo asked
“Nah, probably just leave a sign so one of the janitors know they got a delicious dinner waiting.” She answered as she stood and took a stretch
Janitors? “This place is gonna get cleaned up? As in, not demolished?”
Rainbow Dash nodded “Yep, Mrs. Rich already had this place ready to be donated to the town for… I dunno what it’s gonna be converted into myself. But it better not be as shoddy as that platform if nopony wants any trouble.”
“Yeah! Same here! There’s gonna be trouble if it’s gonna be like that! Or my name isn’t Junior Wonderbolt Scootaloo!” Scootaloo hopped up, standing heroically for… no reason.
“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Erm…” You were feeling kind of antsy now. You wanted to go home, talk to Discord really quick, and then see if that weird Dracula guy was near the town hall. “Actually, I kinda have to get going. I kind of got stuff to do, but it was really cool hanging with you guys! And erm… Scootaloo, Erm…” You almost blurted out the reminder to her to check with Scrappy on Chrysalis’s going ons.
She just nods to you with a smile “It’s cool, I’ll remember, but if you don’t mind, this Junior Wonderbolt wants to finish up with the greatest hero that’s ever been a hero ever!”
“Well…” Rainbow Dash chuckles as she looks at her bottle of cider, it only had a quarter of sweet delicious goodness left “I don’t mind hanging around for a little while longer.”
“Alrighty then, take care you two, and thanks Rainbow Dash, really… for all your training and help.” And with that, you tilted the ice bucket over to spill it’s now mostly melted ice cubes, creating a large puddle in the carpet. You put on your horn, with it’s new found abilities, and dive into the puddle… And crash your head on the floor. "AGH! UGH!” Dammit! What the fuck?!
“A-Anon! W-what are you doing?! You’re supposed to use your map, remember?” Scootaloo said in shock, though you could hear a small chuckle from Rainbow Dash.
You got up and rubbed your head, annoyed with yourself. “N-not anymore, Dad said I could use the… Oh no… Right…” You point the still Sombra formed horn at the puddle, and shoot a small bolt of magic, creating a portal to your room.
“You can use chaos magic whenever now?” Scootaloo asked, once again confused and curious to the abilities of your upgraded horn.
“Nah, Dad just gave it a few upgrades. I can’t use chaos magic, since it’s still in its normal form, but I can do light stuff like this. A-anyway, gotta go!” And with that, you slip through the portal, still annoyed that you somehow fucked that up.
When you fell through the portal you generated, you expected yourself to fall into your room as usual. Instead, you fall face first onto the living room floor. How and why? You had no idea. But you weren’t even angry about it either, just par for the course and most likely Discord’s doing. When you cleared your head with a shake and looked up, you found your internal guess correct as you saw Discord humming to himself as he worked on chiseling a… Very accurate looking statue of Twilight.
“Ngh, hey Discord. What are you up to? Also, can we not have me landing on my face all the time? Or at least use a pillow or something?” You say to him as you draw near the statue. Aside from it’s grey color, it looked remarkably like Twilight. Only thing missing was a face. Why was he making a Twilight statue anyway?
“Ahh, Anon!” Discord looked to you with a smile as his arms detached from his body to continue their work. Discord himself walked over to you, and then passed you to grab an oily looking drink...somehow. He then floated above the sofa. “Good to see you! You’re a little early, I admit, but I’m happy just the same. As you can see, I’m in the middle of my greatest project yet! Even more so…” Discord takes a sip, then looks back at the statue with pride “I plan to donate this to our dear princess once it’s done. It will be the centerpiece of her school, isn’t that amazing?”
Wut? “You’re going to donate Twilight a statue of herself? You ok, Discord? This doesn’t seem like you at all”
“What? Anon, come on. Despite how I may act, Twilight is a dear friend of mine. Besides…” As Discord speaks, his arms quickly chisel a face upon the statue. Not only does it cause the stone mane to suddenly fly up like it was hit with lightning, but the statue itself had an expression of pure horror. “I managed to capture the perfect moment during your exam! Look at her, Anon. Never has Twilight ever seemed so lively before. Dramatic, beautiful, full of life, and oh so powerful through the seriousness of her eyes. My best work for sure, but hmmm.” Discord looks at the statue as if it was suddenly not good enough “What do you think?”
Hilarious, but you already knew Twilight would never accept it. “Amazing, but c’mon man, you know Twilight won’t accept it. She doesn’t have a good sense of humor, remember?”
“Hmmmm…” Discord moaned near silently as his arms flew back to his body to allow him to visually ponder “True, Twilight wouldn’t know fun, even if it burned up all her books. At least you appreciate it. That somewhat matters to me, but…” Discord then turns to face his statue “What to do with it then?”
You walk over to the statue and look at it’s ass. Mhmmm, very detailed, very good. You give it’s roundness a gentle rub of your hoof “Maybe you could give it to me, maybe add in something for me to put my di-”
“Anon! How shameful!” Discord waggled his paw digit at you “This statue is only a few minutes old! The age difference alone would have ponies talking!”
You raise an eyebrow at him “I was just kidding… Mostly. Look, why are you even wondering what to do with it? Just drop it off at the school anyway when a ton of ponies are inside. Bam! You embarrass Twilight and get your win. C’mon Discord, even you should have thought of that.”
“I had thought of it, but considering dear Fluttershy is going to be a professor at the school, I’d rather not just drop this all on her all at once. If Twilight accepted the statue, it’d be her fault. But alas, it seems I can’t have my way this time.” Discord sighs as he snaps his talons, making the statue vanish.
What? He gave up just like that? “So that’s it then? Not like you to give up that easily.”
“Me? Give up? Oh no no no no, I didn’t give up. See, Fluttershy had been teaching me about something called compromise. And so, I decided to compromise the perfectness of my plan with Twilight’s delightful shock of everypony’s reaction to the statue.” Discord explains in a way that sounded like he himself was giving a lecture.
Uhhhh… “And what does that mean?”
“It means I had to settle for less. I placed the statue right before her bedroom door, inside the bedroom itself. Not only will she be spooked upon opening it, but the statue will then say…” Discord tapped his neck to make himself sound like Twilight “Hi! I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle! And this is the face I make when I wet the bed! Which I do a lot!”
You let out a snort of mirth. Ok, that’s fucking funny. “Ok ok, that’s good stuff. Hehehe. But what good is that if you aren’t going to… Oh never mind.” You stop your words when Discord holds up a small screen, showing a close up of large double doors. You could already tell the head of the statue had a camera inside. “You better let me see that tape when you get it, alright?”
“Certainly, I’ll have it set for personal viewing in your room when it’s available. Now then, to other business. Namely, getting into your business.” Discord says with a childish smile, batting his eyes at you “Whatcha up to, sonny boy?”
“Gonna meet up with some guy I suspect is gonna try to bite my neck.” You say as you actually give your neck a rub.
“Sounds boring. Anything else? What about setting up that sleepover thing with your marefriend? I have everything prepped for that one, you know? A separate room, two beds in which I’m sure one will go unused, two thrones for use… One being my old one. Yes, I know, it does look a little on the evil side, but it’s served me well and I think it’s high time to pass it down to you. Even got this lovely set of crowns for the both of you…” He opens his paw, revealing two very beautiful golden crowns, shimmering with gems.
“Ugh, please no. We already did the whole royal motif at her place. I’m just gonna keep it nice and simple. Hell, maybe show her what chaos is all about in light doses. That’s alright, right? I mean, if we are gonna get married, she’s going to have to get used to it.” This you were sure of. Every day of your life always had something ridiculous in store for you, so it’d make sense to give her a taste of it in some way.
“I’m not even going to say that’s a bad idea. I’m just going to warn you not to have her open that window, you know the one.” Discord’s eyes form into one ghoulish peeper as his teeth sharpen up.
“I’ll make sure, but I at least want her to meet them. I dunno, seems right to get her used to that now rather than later. Or maybe I’m just being an idiot about that.” Doesn’t seem like a bad idea, anyway.
Discord shrugs “Seems fine to me. Is there anything else?”
Well, there was Chrysalis. But Discord, as far as you knew, didn’t want to deal with her anymore, and considered her an actual poison to your own friendship with him. You’ll keep that detail to yourself. “Nope”
“Well then” Discord tosses you a small golden box that looked really wondrous and intricate in design, with beautifully ingrained alicorns facing each other on the box. “Allow me to present you with this, for a job well done!”
“You mean passing the exam?” You say as you catch the box. You give it’s cover a look over, cautiously, worried it might be rigged with a trap. “What is this? The pony’s equivalent of Pandora’s Box?”
“More like a box of chocolates” Discord retorts
Box of chocolates, huh? Well, if you’re careful, you should be able to avoid whatever trap might be inside. You set the box down, carefully put your hoof on the lid, and open it up as you jump back. Nothing happens however, and as you look down... “Oh… It’s a box of chocolates.”
“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Discord said with a huff “What did you expect, a bomb?”
“Sorta…” You tap at the chocolates, pick one up, sniff it, then pop it in your mouth. Oh shit, this tasted… “Discord… Holy shit, this is some of the best chocolate I’ve ever had! Did you make this?!”
“No, I stole it from Celestia’s secret stash. She’ll never realize it was me either, considering I don’t plan to use it in anything chaotic. Which, that within itself, is chaotic.” Discord snickered
“Nice” You say as you close the box, saving the rest for later. Even if you and Celestia were at an understanding, you didn’t mind having her delicious box of chocolates. “I’m gonna take these up to my room, then go see if that guy I’m supposed to meet is there. Thanks Discord, really. These are really good.”
“No problem, Anon, as long as you don’t mind me pilfering them from our dear Princess Celestia. Which, as I can see, you don’t. As for me, I’m going to watch the monitor for a little bit. She has to open that door sometime.” Discord gives you a wink before he disappears.
What a guy. Already trying to make your sleepover more comfy and giving you chocolates for a job well done. You smile at these thoughts as you make your way up to your room. When you get inside, you toss the box onto your dresser and look at you clock. It was only 8 P.M. at this point, but you were sure that his definition of evening slightly differed from yours, so he was probably already there. Or maybe he did mention a time? Bah, you couldn’t remember.
You set your portal door to Ponyville’s town hall, and hop inside in search of Chancellor Neighsay.
“Alright, time to sWHAAAA?!” When you appear on the other side of the portal, you arrive in Ponyville as expected, but everything was in negative space and unmoving, as if there was a time freeze. “W-what happened?! Where am I?!”
“You’re in my personal thinking space, Anon” Said a voice “Don’t be alarmed, it is merely a realm between realms. Similar to the kind of spell that would let you explore inside a book.”
That voice? Was it the Chancellor? “Yeah well, I’m sort of used to seeing this kind of stuff from my Dad. How are you doing this, anyway?”
Suddenly, slowly appearing as if he was a spirit going into physical form, Chancellor Neighsay stood in front of you, with a smile that was less than calming. His horn was alit, obviously maintaining whatever space this was. “With magic only those as skilled as I can muster. But I’m sure somepony of your caliber is capable of something like this as well.”
You were sure of that actually. Still, you now felt really tense knowing you were on this guy’s literal playing field. “Yeah… Look, I came because you had something to say. But I didn’t agree to this, why are we even in here?”
“Privacy.” Chancellor Neighsay says as he conjures a small table onto the negative grass, with two seats, and two cups of tea on plates. Even had a tea kettle set up as he filled both cups, all through the use of magic. He takes a seat, lifts his cup, and takes a sip. “Ahh, always soothing to the soul, wouldn’t you say?”
What… The… Fuck? Was he ACTUALLY going to rape you?! This guy was creepier than, uh, well, now was no time for comparisons. You remained calm, sat at the other seat, and took a sip of your cup. “Yeah… So, erm, can we get down to business then? Chancellor?” Because, fuck, you felt uncomfortable with how sudden this fucking was.
“Straight to the point. Good, as there’s no use in wasting time. Tell me, Anon, how do you feel about the dragons? Especially considering what happened yesterday. I hear it’ll be some time before the bowling alley is rebuilt.” The Chancellor asked you, very interested in what your answer might be.
Well, that’s an odd question to ask. “Uh, I… What? I mean, why ask me that? What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has to do with everything.” Neighsay said, with a hint of hatred in his voice. “Anon, you needn’t feel the need to reserve yourself or tell me the answer you think I wish to hear. I’ll be honest with you, if you’ll be honest with me. Now, please answer the question”
This really was weirding you out. Maybe you should have stuck with the pleasantries instead of going straight to business. Because this guy not only was creepy, but seemed very no nonsense. “Well, if you want honesty. I’m friends with one dragon, but I’m not a big fan of the others. I don’t mean to sound rude, but they all seem like jerks to me. I heard their new princess is nice, but I never met her. That’s not a problem, is it?”
“Not at all” Neighsay said with a calmed chuckle “Indeed, dragons have been the enemies of us ponies for a very very long time. I cannot blame you for how you feel about them. Personally, I agree, and feel they should stay in their own lands where they belong. Although, I suppose Twilight’s assistant is… Tolerable”
Tolerable? What the fuck was up with that guy that he had to make a nasty comment? Ok, granted dragons are jerks and you wouldn’t mind not dealing with them at all. But Spike was pretty damn cool. The hell was this guy getting at? “Yeah… Erm, is this about dragons then? Are they causing more trouble?”
“More than you know. And not only them, but changelings are as well. I happen to know you have had to deal with them before. I’ve even heard rumors that you’re not fond of them, despite your involvement in their ‘reformation’. Is that true?” He asks you
Dragons, and changelings? Were they causing trouble? Even then, why would some head of some education board care about all that? “I… Don’t really care for them, per se. Glad they reformed and all, but they’re a little too dainty for my taste.”
“Hmmm, dainty you say?” He said as he looked at you with a serious stare, drinking his tea as he did so “And yet, we have no idea what they are actually doing or planning. The same also goes for beings like the griffons, who are suddenly much more accepted despite the fact that’d they’d sell their own kin for a bag of bits. And then there are the Yaks, who would start a war with any country, including Equestria itself, over something minor. And the Hippogriffs? Well, we have yet to see where they stand…”
Uhhhhhhh… Ok. He was, kind of right, in a creepy and evil sort of way. Yaks did seem like dicks, and Griffons, as far as you knew, were actual fucking assholes. But this guy’s hate was unreal, what was his problem? And why did it involve you? “Ok, for the kinda most part, I can agree. But, Chancellor, I don’t mean to insult you or anything. But what does this have to do with anything? What does this have to do with me?”
“Because, you are the ‘Hero Colt’! And not just in name either. While Princess Twilight’s feats are in fact, impressive, I’d have to say that you easily match her skills, despite your age. And you have experience dealing with undesirables and criminals, even dealing with the notorious criminal, Sharpclaw. You, I believe, understand how dangerous these outsiders can be, and that is why I need your help.” Neighsay says as he taps his hoof on the table, some desperation in his eyes and voice.
Sharpclaw? Oh, right. That fucking guy who was robbing Flim and Flam, from way back. It’s true, you have dealt with many creatures that have been less than pleasant to know. But why did it matter to him? Why did he need your help? Just keep playing it up, Anon. Figure out what he wants. “Well, I’m honored that you’d seek my help, Chancellor. But, ummmm, why do you need my help exactly? What does it have to do with all these races?” You kept yourself from asking WHY he hated them, as you felt that may have been a bad trigger of sorts.
The Chancellor sighed as he held his cup. He looked depressed and defeated all of a sudden, as his voice became softer and pathetic. “To be honest, Anon. My unscheduled visit with the Princess today was met with her usual misplaced optimism. Even worse, I had run into Princess Celestia, who shares her pupil’s sentiments. I had a vision, a vision that if I ended up not accrediting the school, and even locking it up, that I would be met with opposition that I’d not be able to contain. I realize just trying to make sure the school is never opened is not the way to go. Equestria’s very survival is now at stake due to her allowing ANYCREATURE to attend her school. Anycreature, that if they choose, can make off with important secrets and artifacts to bring back to their own race. This would spell the end for all of us, Anon. I cannot allow Equestria to fall because our ‘dear’ princess has a naive outlook on friendship. I know, for a fact, that you too have issues with her. So…” Neighsay gets off his seat, and bows to you “Please, I beg of your help. You are the only one I know of who has a desire to protect Equestria through any means necessary. The only one who is capable of mingling with these creatures without arousing suspicion.”
W-what?! Geez! This guy! Ok, so let’s recap this in your brain. He seems to hate anything not a pony, and has this idea that you think the same way he does. He does acknowledge your magnificence, so that’s good. But it also seems he wanted you to be some sort of lackey, or spy, or something. Was Equestria really in danger? Was there something he knew that no one else did? What did he even expect you to do? “W-well, I guess it depends on what it is. Considering your status, I’m not just gonna snub you out. But uh, you’re gonna have to give me some details and stuff.”
Neighsay took a moment to compose himself, and then took a sip of his tea. “It’s simple. I want you to enroll in Twilight’s school, if you haven’t already done so, and keep an eye on her non-pony students. I can feel it, some kind of trouble that could only come from them. I’d leave this all to you of course, at your own discretion. The only thing I ask is that I am not mentioned within your investigation, and that you send word to me once you have gathered sufficient evidence of their wrongdoing.”
Ok, once again, he was jumping ahead of himself. Or he assumed you were on the same page as him. And enroll in that fucking school?! Nope, no chance of that happening. “What do you mean keep an eye on them? And enroll in her school? Sorry to say, but I’d really rather not have to deal with it. Personally speaking, I think it’s stupid.”
Neighsay nodded in agreement “I can understand your feelings on it. But please reconsider, or at least think about it. As for the details of what I want you to do. Her school will play host to many creatures, such as dragons, yaks, griffons, and anything else SHE deems worthy. I refuse to believe that they, especially our 'former' enemies, are going to that school just to learn about friendship. I know you share my feelings on this, it’s why you must be the one to keep an eye on things. It’s for the good of Equestria.”
Was this guy for real? Wait! Maybe he was for real. Twilight’s school is a pretty fucking big deal, no doubt, considering how respected this guy must be, that there is some weight to his words. Sure, he himself may end up being the season ender villain, if this was in fact a season of sorts. But if he isn’t, then he could be right. Still, you really would have to think about it, you really didn’t want to become Twilight’s student. “Like I said, I’ll think about it. But, uhhh, I can understand your fears. Especially when it comes to dragons. Considering, y’know, yesterday.”
“Indeed…” Neighsay sighed, feeling your answer less than adequate. Surprisingly, he did respect it, as he looked to you once again. “Then may I ask you to make a visit to the changeling hive tomorrow? They are the creatures I’m most worried about at the moment. You needn’t do much, just see if they are up to something. I’d even like you to see what student they plan to send to the school, see what they are all about. If you find anything, I ask you to send me a letter immediately. If not, then do not bother, as your silence will tell me you hadn’t discovered anything… yet. Are you able to do at least that for me? I will trust your answer if you say yes, and will even see about making sure your future choices in education, for you and your marefriend, are guaranteed.”
You thought that was already guaranteed. Either way, that didn’t sound too hard, and was way easier than signing up for Twilight’s school. You could say yes, go deal with the pussies, talk to whatever student they chose, and you wouldn’t even have to write anything because you already knew they were too wimpy to try anything due to Thorax being a nancy boy. You could just say yes and not bother, but you wanted to make sure no one could say you didn’t try. Haha! This guy, you had this in the bag. He was probably right though, just not about the changelings. If there was gonna be trouble, you could keep an eye out regardless, but you would also have to keep tabs on him as well, just in case. Hmmm, maybe this was more serious than you realized. Best to take it in small steps. Maybe it was nothing, and he was just being a worrywart. Either way, at least it was easy to secure your future in academics. “Ok, I can at least do that no problem. The changelings trust me, so it’ll be easy to go have a look see. I’m pretty thorough, and my magic will make sure I don’t miss anything. But I have your word, that if I do this, and no matter how it ends, I’ll have your recommendation for me and Diamond?”
He nods. “Yes, you helping is already enough to help settle my mind, as many others somehow think the Princesses’ way of thinking is the best way. Mnnnn, and I’m glad you came to a decision as well, as my hold on this realm is just about over” He says as the negative coloring of the area reverts to the Ponyville you knew. Neighsay remained calm as his spell ended, and zapped away the table,chairs, and tea set “Well then, it appears our business is over as well.”
“Yeah, it appears it is.” You looked up, it was night now at this point, you could see the stars “If I find anything, I’ll let you know. But don’t get your hopes up, ok? I somehow doubt they are up to something.”
“That way of thinking is what will be our downfall. I know you are smarter than that, Anon, and I trust you will be thorough in your investigation.” Somehow, he opens up a portal of his own, then looks back at you. This guy, he really was a powerful unicorn. Definitely a guy you didn’t want to get on their bad side. “I have your word, correct?”
Just to be polite, you do a bow “You do, as long as I have yours.”
“As I said, if you are honest with me, then I’ll be honest with you. It’s been an honor to meet you, Anon. While not completely like minded as myself, it is good to know there are foals out there who do not blindly follow the naivete of our princesses’ single minded views. Farewell, until we meet again.” He nods to you, then steps inside his portal as it vanishes out of sight.
You just blinked and stood there, confused. “Ok then… At least he didn’t rape me”
You started to ponder as you made your way to the Rich mansion. Was that guy for real? Did he believe in you that much? Where did he hear those rumors? Was he right? Were all or some of the other races plotting something? Obviously not all of them, but some of their higher ups? Thorax wasn’t capable of shit, you knew that much. But what about his brother? You hadn’t met Pharynx, but he didn’t sound like too good a guy, even if he was turned good at some point.
Well, you’d find out tomorrow for sure. If there was some plotting going on, you and your horn could figure it out. Hell, maybe it wasn’t even the hive. Maybe he was referring to Chrysalis. But then, what of the other races? Chrysalis wasn’t the type to do a team up with someone she didn’t trust, so perhaps it wasn’t her either… But then, during the exam…
You arrived at the mansion mid thought, and looked upon it’s beautiful construct. The pillars, the glamourous front door, the well kept front yard. And inside? Your precious Diamond, waiting for you. You put aside your thoughts as you brush your mane back, head towards the door, and knock. “Hello? Is anypony there? It’s me, Anon!”
Oddly enough, the door opens not soon after you knock, as if someone was waiting for you.
“Mr. Anon, I’ve been waiting for you.” Said the voice of Mr. Rich, as he opened the door, stepped forward, and closed it gently with his hind leg. “But where are my manners? how are you, son?”
Wut? “Mr. Rich? Ummm, I’m doing alright. How are you? And erm…” This was kind of awkward, why was he waiting for you? “What’s up?”
“Doin’ alright, just a bit on the worried side of things. Considerin’ what happened today and all.” He said as he sat in front of you, and gently placed his right hoof on your head, giving it a very slow and gentle rub.
“Oh, you mean the exam? Yeah, but… Why are you worried? I alre-” But he interrupts you as he stops the motions of his hoof without removing it from your head.
“The missus already let me know what really went on, Anon. Can’t say I’m too pleased about it. Even nearly lost my cool…” He goes back to gently rubbing your head “Putting the lives of two foals in danger like that, that ain’t the Rich way at all.” His tone was grim, yet sorrowful. W-was he ok?
You frowned as you looked up at him. Did he get mad at his wife? Him? The ever cool Mr. Rich? Mnnngh, ok, maybe what she did was worth getting mad about in terms of his perspective and reputation, but…
You look up at him with big worried eyes as your adorable ears folded down “You’re not mad at her, are you? I know what she did was not very well thought out, and could have ended a lot worse. But, I’m not mad at her. I mean, as it turned out, I wasn’t in any real danger anyway. My Dad’s gear protected me.”
“And what about little ole Scootaloo?” Mr. Rich asked, seemingly suppressing his frustration in a way that while still seeming pleasant, there were hints of actual anger in his voice.
“Yeah… She didn’t get that. But…” Dammit, fine! Fuck! Ok! So it really was a shit situation, one you knew would make the headlines back in your world. Maybe Mrs. Rich deserved all she got from him… Whatever he did, but everything came out ok, and everyone got something out of it, even Scoots! She’s a Junior Wonderbolt now! Not sure what that entails exactly, but she’s proud of it.
“And what would have happened if she didn’t make it? Anon, I know you ain’t no fool, and I don’t want to lose my cool. But c’mon, son, yer smarter than this and…” Mr. Rich suddenly stopped, sat, and put his hoofs to his face as he shook it “And I’m to blame too, ain’t I? Got all sorts of mad, and I didn’t even take a look at myself. Could have told her no, could have had it stopped, but nope. I let it happen all the same. I’m a terrible pony, ain’t I, son?” Mr. Rich started to sob as he suddenly realized he was just to blame as everyone else. Really, everyone let it happen, from You to Twilight herself. Though, some were more in the know than others.
Poor guy, he just wanted everything to be fine and ok. He probably lost his cool because of what Mrs. Rich told him, not even realizing the full spectrum of what really happened. And now that he has, you felt pretty bad for him, he didn’t know that platform would collapse, and neither did you. “Mr. Rich, c’mon, it ain’t your fault. Nopony knew how dangerous it really was, and we all went into it thinking it’d be ok.” You sit next to him, and gently lean against his side “Mrs. Rich just got in over her head, which sort of caused this domino effect. In fact, you could say it’s like how business works. You can’t make a profit without some risk, right? Well, we all put in the risk, and walked our richer for it. Nopony got hurt, everypony is ok, and I’m sure Mrs. Rich learned her lesson, right? I mean, she looked pretty sad about it, right?”
“Well… She did look rather glum… And, I gotta tell ya, It don’t sit well knowin’ she’s a hurtin’. Really, knowin’ we all got some sort of lesson to learn makes me realize that maybe I should go back in there and sort things out.” Mr. Rich clears the tears from his eyes, and looks to you with a gentle smile “You’re a smart one, Anon, my boy. Thought this was gonna be a big long talk and lots of sortin’ out. But it hasn’t been ten minutes and you already got it all figured out.”
You look back to him with a smile and shrug of your own. “Well, y’know. It just seemed logical to me. Not every situation needs to be a long and drawn out mess, right?”
“Yer right about that.” Mr. Rich said as he reaches into his shirt. “Anon, I’m gonna give ya somethin’. Somethin’ I’ve kept with me since I earned it.”
Since he earned it? “What is it?”
And that when he pulls it out, a shiny but old looking bit. “My first bit, of course. Kept it with me all this time, to remind of when I took over the family business and started earning my keep. Well, right now, you managed to squash this whole messy situation faster than, And I do dare say it, our Princess of Friendship. For that, you earned it.” He places the bit on the frog of your hoof, then gently puts his hoof on your head as he sniffles and tears up “My son.”
Shit, really? All this over somehow solving the problem so fast? And his first bit?! You didn’t even know he had a Scrooge McDuck styled heirloom he carried around. You probably shouldn’t accept it, but you knew it’d make him happy if you did, and that is what’s important, making him happy. “Thank you, Dad, I’ll cherish it always. In fact, check this out” You take the bit, and open up your saddlebag. You then pop it inside for safekeeping. “There we go, safe and sound.”
“Er… Ain’tcha got a near limitless supply of bits in there, son?” Mr. Rich asked, as he stoically blinked, a little baffled by what you did.
SHIT! “U-uhmm! Erm..!” You quickly open the bag, and look inside. SHIT! “Mr. Rich, I-I’m... I didn’t… I… Huh?” You are stopped when Mr. Rich reaches into your bag, takes out a bit, quickly inspects it, and pockets it. Wut? “Is that…?”
“The bit? Yes indeedy. No harm done, Anon. I’ve been handling money for years now, and it ain’t too hard to tell the difference from one bit to another. But I think I’ll hold on to it for a little while, at least til you got a better place to put it.” Mr. Rich said with a soft chuckle. He could tell you were impressed, and played it up a little by being rather modest.
Just… Woah. You were speechless. How the fuck?!
“Wellll” Mr. Rich took a stretch as he gave you a head pat “Gonna go talk to the missus now, get things straightened out and such. Thanks again, Anon, yer a real hero, and don’t let nopony tell you different.” Mr. Rich says, feeling his emotions revigored enough to have a proper talk with his wife.
“Y-yeah. You take care Mr. Rich, and erm, tell Diamond I said hi, ok?”
“Sure will” He said with a wink “You take care, son”
You had returned home after meeting with Mr. Rich, not wanting to spend the night on anything else. You had to plan out your day accordingly, as you had a lot more to do than you initially realized. You have to get up, go see Scootaloo, go to the hive and check on the changelings, and then to add to all that, you had to see Diamond. And you realized you should see Bonbon. Why did you have to see Bonbon? Because she probably may have some insight on whatever the fuck that Neighsay guy was going on about. You didn’t know if she’d have any information, but if she did, you had to know so you could act accordingly. You’re the hero colt after all, so if you could squash the problem yourself, then you should make doing that a priority.
You had the day in the bag, it shouldn’t be too hard to pull off if you don’t fall off track.
When you woke up, you gave your head a gentle rub as you yawned. No distractions, just focus and get it over with and… Oh hey! There’s a couple of tickets floating over your bed for some reason, and a note. Might as well see what that’s all about. “Ok Discord, what’s all this then?” You say to yourself as you lean up and grab the note to take a closer look see. “Lesse, hmmm…”. It was an invitational letter to the ‘Basement Theater’ for a screening of Twilight’s surprise. Oh shit! The madman actually did it! Well then, hmmmm. It seemed the premiere is tonight… And to bring a friend? He wants you to bring someone over? Diamond? No, Diamond wouldn’t appreciate seeing Twilight being shocked, especially if it was worthy of being this grand. Ah! But Starlight might get a kick out of it! And she’s been in the house before, so no problems there. You wondered if Discord wouldn’t mind Trix… Oh, suddenly a third ticket? Heh, looks like Trixie is coming too. Seems dear old Dad was giving you ample time to set up a group to watch Twilight’s… Whatever. Man, it has to be good to be this elaborate. Alrighty then…
You slip the tickets into your saddle bag as you get off your bed for a stretch. “Ok, let’s see, should still be set for Ponyville… sooooo.” You go over to your portal door, swing it open, and step through. But when you do, you end up tripping over something… or someone. You land directly, face first, into the grass. Well, at least the ground was soft.
“Owie! Owie! Ogh…” You hear behind you, the adorable whines of some unknown filly. You get up, shake your head to remove the loose grass and dirt, and turn around. Behind you, rubbing her right foreleg, was a small and adorable pegasus filly. She was pale pink in color, with brownish eyes, and a poofy mane, curled into circles every which way and topped off with a cute little yellow bow. Her cutie mark, oddly enough, was a red rook… Like chess? Poor thing, you didn’t mean to hurt her. You didn’t even see her.
“OH shi-, I mean, you alright?” You ask, before making any physical movements.
“Mhmm, I’m ok mister… Oh.” When the filly turns to you, her eyes light up as her mouth forms a rather lively grin. She then puts her hooves to her cheeks in surprise as she stammers “A-are you, Anon? W-wowie! I didn’t expect to run into a hero today! Or…” She lets out an adorable little giggle “really, him running into little tiny me.”
D’awwww! You've never seen this pony before, but you could already tell she was super cute and innocent, and she seemed rather happy just to be in your presence. A fan maybe? Well, maybe you could hang around a little and brighten up her day. “Y-yeah! Haha! Sorry about that, erm…”
“Oh!” The filly gasped in surprise “You actually wanna know my name?”
Geez, was she that starstruck? Well, it’s super cute, that’s for sure. unlike the dumb duo. “Mhmm” You reach over and give her a boop on the nose, causing her to let out a cute squeaky giggle. “I always want to know the names of all the good little ponies I meet.”
“Oh gosh!” She blushed, grabbing her cheeks and swaying her head about “You’re so sweet. Ummm… Oh!” She lets out another giggle, and gives you a sunny smile “My name is Cozy Glow! It’s very very nice to meet you, Anon. I feel so very honored that’d you’d speak to me so suddenly. Erm…” She looks down, and gently kicks her hoof at the dirt, feeling shy about your presence “I hope I’m not bothering you.”
Your heart! Aww! This poor little thing. Ok, Anon, relax. Just really, make sure she has a nice and shiny day. “Oh no no, always nice to meet a fan. I assume you saw the exam yesterday? Pretty cooooool, right?”
“Mhmm!” She nodded “It was so amazing! And looked so dangerous! How ever did you manage to get out of it ok?” She asked, looking absolutely enthralled.
“Oh, you know.” You snickered as you stood tall and arrogant “I’m just good like that.”
And she buys it! Oh man, she’s just too cute. “Gee whiz! It was all scary and stuff and you don’t look like it worried you at all. But I guess that’s why you’re the hero, huh?”
You give her a gentle pat on the head, in which she actually nuzzles under your hoof for the affection. D’AAWWWW! “That’s right! Though anypony can be a hero. Even you” You give her another boop “Being a hero isn’t just about beating baddies, but just being there for your friends and stuff. That makes you a hero in their eyes, and it’s just as important.”
“Golly, that’s really inspiring! In fact, that’s why I’m enrolled in Princess Twilight’s school! So I can learn all about FRIENDSHIP!” She says that last word rather darkly, and you could have sworn her eyes went red there for a moment. But you are just still waking up, so probably just a trick of mind. With all the possible dangers going on, it’s no wonder you’d think such a thing. “Oh! Anon, are you enrolled too? Oh! Do you think we’re going to be classmates? I’d think that’d be really nice. You seem so smart about friendship, I’d love to be your study buddy!”
Ogh… Here we go. Poor thing, you didn’t want to disappoint her, but… “Cozy, erm. I’m not going to the school, I kinda already know everything there is to know about friendship. At least, in my eyes. Princess Twilight’s way is… erm… just not the way I do things.”
“What?!” She seemed utterly surprised, to the point that her adorable tone broke into one that sounded like frustration. Then she just kind of froze there for a moment before she giggled, hovered upwards, and tapped on her forehead. “Oh! I get it! Oh boy, I sure do feel like a wittle dumb dumb not realizing just how great you really are. Of course you’d know everything about friendship already. You helped that pony that was working for that mean ole Storm King, right?”
Oh, so she knows about that? Heh, well given that Neighsay had heard things about you, it shouldn’t be of any surprise. “Yeah, even helped another pony named Starlight. I’m pretty good at things like that. I mean, anypony can be good at making good friends and even helping those who initially seem bad. Even you, Cozy Glow. You want to learn about friendship, but I think you’re pretty friendly already. You must have lots of friends!”
“Erm…” She suddenly floats down to the ground, looking pathetic and depressed. “Actually, I’m not really good at friendship at all. I don’t really have any friends…”
She has no friends? This adorable little thing? WHAT?! Well, you hope Diamond doesn’t get jealous, because this little filly needed your help! HERO COLT POWERS, ACTIVATE! “Well, that’s just not true” You tell her with a soft smile.
When she looks up at you, she has tears in her eyes as she lets out a small sniffle “W-what do you mean?”
“I mean, you have a friend right here! Because, well…” You move in and give her a gentle hug “I’ll be your friend! I’m not always around too much, but when I am, and you see me, I’ll always be willing to talk. And heck, I have other friends you could meet in case you get lonely, and they can be your friends too. Doesn’t that sound awesome?”
“W-wow…” She says, utterly stunned “Y-you’d be my friend? Weeeeaaalllyyy?” She says, her smile returning as she adorably holds her cheeks again.
“Yep! I mean, I’m kinda busy right now, but I’d like to meet up later at some point. I go to Cheerilee’s school, so, y’know, you know where to find me.” Actually, that was really odd, you have never seen this filly before. Maybe she’s from out of town? Twilight’s school was nearly built, and there has been a lot more ponies in Ponyville lately. So, yeah, that could be it.
“Ok! But I thought of an even better idea! It makes me so excited to even think it!” She starts hopping left and right, trying to contain whatever grand thought she had in her head.
A thought? Well, if she was that excited to think it, might as well hear her out. “What’s that?”
She hops up onto the fountain and point towards the direction of the school “Well!” She starts to hover as she speaks, looking directly at you “Since you’re so super knowing about friendship! Why don’t you become a professor? I’d weally love learning about friendship from you. I bet you know things Princess Twilight and her friends don’t at all.” She lands, then shakes her head left and right disapprovingly “Mmm mmm, no sireee. Nopony has what you have, and I’d love to be your first student… erm…” She giggles shyly, blushing “If you’d have me.”
This adorable pony, she’s so… Well meaning. Fuck, and those words. Her belief in you. You just met her and it’s like she put her entire soul into you just now. You, a professor of friendship? Professor Anon, has a nice ring to it actually. It really put you in deep thought too. Despite you telling Twilight her school was pretty dumb, this actually might be something you’d want to try. It’d let you keep an eye out for whatever the fuck is scaring that Neighsay guy, possibly get you out of Cheerilee’s school, and let you actually show other ponies how to do friendship right, the human way. But most of all, you could show Twilight what you’re truly capable of in the art of friendship. Hmmm… You’ll need to see if she’ll even accept you though. She should, you’ve done enough to prove you’re capable. “You know what, Cozy Glow? That really isn’t a bad idea. I do happen to know a lot about friendship, I’m sure I could convince Princess Twilight to let me become a professor at her school. Heh, I’d probably be the youngest professor in Equestria too.” You chuckle as you give it some thought. Eat that, Starswirl!
“Ooooh! That might very well be true! I’d really like that, you being a professor I mean. Do you really think you can become one?” She asks, intent on hearing your answer.
You probably could, especially if you had Spike backing you up. You both were bros at this point. Top that with what you have done for Equestria and it’d be a done deal! Heh, you wonder what being a professor of friendship would actually be like. Eh, probably super easy shit, whatever, still good. “Yeah, convincing the princess shouldn’t be too hard. Considering everything I’ve contributed to Equestria so far, convincing her should be cake.” Oh man, wait til Discord finds out. He’s gonna slap his knee and die laughing when he finds out you plan to outdo Twilight at her own fucking game.
“Oh, I’d like that very much. You’re so nice and sweet, Anon… Erm, Professor Anon, sir.” She did a cute little bow along with that title drop.
“At ease, my student” You strike a rather snooty pose as you pat Cozy on the head “For I am a merciful teacher.”
Cozy Glow had a giggle at that “You’re so silly, Anon. And… Oh!” She gasped in surprise “Weren’t you busy with something? You said you had to go, right?”
Wut? Awww, she was worried that she was taking up your time. Cute, but you didn’t mind hanging out with her. “Yeah, but I don’t mind hanging out with you a little longer. I want you to know that I really care about you, you know?”
“Oh, ummm. I’m really glad to hear that, Professor, truly I am. But I don’t want to take up your time, no I don’t. And besides, I was actually going home right now to get some bweakfast… oooohhh” She whined as she rubbed her adorable tummy. “But if we could meet up later, would that be ok? I don’t mind finding you.”
“Well, I don’t want to hold you from breakfast, and nah, we'll meet up soon. You run along, Cozy Glow. Oh! And for your first lesson, I just want you to stay optimistic, ok? Because I already know you’ll do ok. You’ll have a lot of friends before you know it.”
And then you saw it again, a quick flash of an evil glare. “Oh, I know I will, all thanks to you, professor!” She says as she gives you a gentle hug. “Bye bye!” and with a wave, she was off, skipping along happily on her way.
That glare, did you really see it? Or was your mind really that muddled? Nah, she was just a poor little filly looking for friendship, and as usual, you made another pony happy just by being yourself. Humans one! Twilight zero! Too easy! And Cozy Glow herself? Ogh, you were glad you were able to hold in any sexual feelings about her. Either you were getting better, or you just didn’t even want to risk making such an innocent little pony uncomfortable. As for Twilight, you’ll deal with that when you can, right now you had to get to the clubhouse.
You continued your trek to the clubhouse, ready to listen to whatever Scootaloo may have had to say. You thought about that cute filly you just met as well, she was so nice. Barely even knew her and she wanted you, Anon, to be a fucking professor at Twilight’s shitty ass school. Probably would be good too, now that you really thought about it, kids these days need realism in their lives. Though, as you woke up a little more and put more focus on the conversation itself, you did realize that Cozy Glow did seem off for a filly her age. Those glares, and hell, just the sudden timing of her being there at all…
“Wait a second… OH SHIT!” You stop, and quickly place down your saddle bag. You quickly sift through it until you find the map. Those glares, you could have sworn her eyes flashed red when she did them, or were they green? Shit! You frantically open the map and take a look near the position of the fountain and… “Huh…” There was nothing there, no dot of any sort. The only dot on the map was Scrappy’s, which was located at the clubhouse. You groan and put your hoof to your forehead in frustration “Dammit, Anon, you really did overdo it last night. Fuck man, she was there though. Am I overthinking things? No, I still have to keep an eye out for her, but I can’t let myself get too obsessed again. I swear, that filly was giving me the evil eye…” You deduced that your tired mind was running away from you at this point, you just had to not think so hard on it. You put away the map, and make your way to the clubhouse once more. “Scrappy is there too, huh? Good, maybe that means he actually knows something.”
When you got there, you wasted no time walking up the panels up to the door before giving it a knock. Your mind once again wandered back to that Cozy Glow filly, and the fact that she had impeccable taste.
“Applebloom? Sweetie Belle? That you?” You hear from the other side of the door, it was Scootaloo, which meant she was alone with Scrappy.
“Nope, it’s me, Anon. Scoots, mind letting me in?” Good, they weren’t here. This information was meant for the three of you and the three of you only, also Bonbon.
“Oh! Ok, give me a second.” Scootaloo opens the door and lets you inside, poking her head out to make sure no one followed you. As you stepped past her, you noticed the clubhouse was covered in Rainbow Dash memorabilia, as well as Scootaloo herself donning a Rainbow Dash hat. Huh, did she have a club meeting before you arrived? “Good morning, Anon.” She said in a rather cheery mood “I just had one of the best club meetings ever! Everypony was treating me like a hero! Isn’t that cool?”
She seemed so damn happy, makes you wish you knew about the meeting, you would have shown up to see it. Or maybe that was a bad idea, didn’t want to upstage her after all. “That's super cool, Scoots, good for you!”
“Yeah!” She said with a triumphant hop “I bet this is how Rainbow Dash feels like all the time! I mean, eheh” She then remembered that she was being treated as a hero for surviving a collapsing structure, a feat she didn’t manage on her own. “I know it really wasn’t over anything too heroic or anything, but still, we managed to beat that thing together, so I know I’ll be doing real hero stuff soon. You think so too, right?” She looked to you, desperate for a yes.
You didn’t, but… “Sure, just remember not to overdo it, Scoots, ok? Hero work can be pretty dangerous and…” You quickly try to shift the topic, you didn’t want to dawdle on her moment of grandeur. It was nice she was optimistic, but the world of Equestria was too dangerous for a pint-sized wannabe hero. “Well, y’know, just remember to start out small. Speaking of small, I noticed Scrappy showed up on my map and that he was here but…” You looked around, you couldn’t see him at all “Where is he? Did he just leave? Did he say anything about Chrysalis?”
“Oh yeah, he’s here. And guess what! He does know something about it!” Scootaloo walks over to the podium near the back of the clubhouse, and taps at something with her hoof, just behind it. “Scrappy, Anon is here for the info”
“I know he is, but I wanted to get this costume off first. I am a ruthless puppy, not a pony! I didn’t want him to get confused.” You hear his childishly naive voice from behind the podium, you notice a single leg trying to shake off something blue with a rainbow tail and… Wut? Was he wearing a Rainbow Dash costume?
“Erm, I mean, you’re a changeling too, right?” Scootaloo asked as she stepped to the other side and picked up the costume, hanging it on a hoof on a wall near an RD poster.
Scrappy popped his head out from behind the podium. He gave you an evil glare that, while in his puppy form, was none too threatening. Hell, ever since he became the same as the other changelings, any visual threat he may have posed was thrown out the window. “Yes, yes I am. I am the captain, and the protector of all my friends. But I am not a pony! Ponies who are not my friend or friends of my friends are still dumb.” He then locked eyes with you, narrowing them as he spoke “You didn’t see me as a pony, did you, Anon?”
Good god, what was this idiot on about this time? “I mean, no, but… Why wear a costume at all? Why not just… y’know… change into whatever you were going to wear a costume for?”
“Because!” He stepped out from behind the podium and stood tall as he put his paw to his chest “I am a changeling and a dog! And nothing else! Erm…” Then suddenly he got confused, and calmed down, almost adorably so “I mean, I haven’t really tried transforming into anything else since the queen left. I-i guess I’d become something really scary if somepony threatened my family or friends, but other than that, I like being a dog. I get to learn all sorts of things about loyalty, responsibility, love, respect, and fetch! I love fetch…” He just about drooled with a dumb smile on his face at the near mention of it. Still the same ole goof.
“Awww, c’mon Scrappy! You made a great mascot today, everypony loved you! Besides…” Scootaloo walked up to him and began to gently pat his head, causing his ears to fold as his mood pacified. “You didn’t seem to want to whine when you got all those hugs.”
“I do like hugs…” Scrappy murmured as he nuzzled into her hoof “I guess most ponies that are strangers are also good too.”
“There you go! See? Making friends on your own feels pretty good too, doesn’t it?” Scootaloo asked as she continued to gently pet at his head.
“I-i… Yes, it does feel pretty nice.” Scrappy admits as he finds himself lost in the affection. Then, like a switch being flipped, he snapped to attention with a few hops before looking at you with a smile and a waggity tail. “Oh wait! Speaking of friends! I have to tell Anon about the queen!”
Finally, it was a cute moment and all, but this was damned important. “Yes, Scrappy, please. What can you tell me about her? I know she was there, she used her magic on the dragon statue. Please, tell me what you know.”
“Ok! But only if you fight me. I’ve waited a long time for you to get stronger like I have, and so, I DEMAND A CHALLENGE!” He barks out as he pats his chest with his paw, looking at you with hardened determination.
“Scrappy, c’mon, no. Fighting your friends is bad, remember? I mean, you could just challenge Anon at chess again.” Scootaloo didn’t like to see Scrappy get riled up for a fight. She knew how serious he could get, and she knew it could lead into trouble.
As for you, you felt he had to be kidding. Scrappy could barely tap you when he was living in your basement, and with all your training, he had zero chances of beating you now. You didn’t need to go through a back and forth of yes and nos, so you raise your hoof to get their attention and accept his challenge “Its fine, Scoots, if he wants to challenge me then I’ll oblige him. Besides, I’ve been meaning to give my new skills a proper test.”
“Yes!” Scrappy does a hop of excitement before he prepares himself to rush right at you “Finally! He accepts! For the honor of Master Applebloom, I shall crush you!”
Scootaloo slapped her hoof over her own forehead with a sigh “Anon, why? Now he’s going to want to destroy you again. Besides, one of you could get seriously hurt, y’know?”
“Heh, you’re sounding like Applebloom there, Scoots. Look, it’ll be fine. I’ll just pin him and make him give up.” You say with a smirk as you enter a battle stance.
“Ugh, don’t say I didn’t warn you, Anon. Scrappy has been training a lot, both as a changeling warrior and a dog. He’s gotten super tough. But if you’re gonna be that way, then I’ll just be ready with the first aid.”
What? She didn’t believe in you? Goddamn it, c’mon Scoots, you could of sworn you both were closer than that. “Alright, whatever. Come at me, Scrappy, it’s go time!”
“FOR MY FRIENDS!” But Scrappy doesn’t charge at you, instead he reaches under the podium to pull out a basket of Rainbow Dash pins.
Wut?
“What are you going to do with those? Pin them on me? Look, you got three more seconds to make a move before I atomic buster your butt.” Like seriously, what was he planning to do with those?
“Exactly! You say you’re going to pin me down, but it is I who will do the pinning! Take this, Anon!” Scrappy, at breakneck pace, is able to snap off the sharp ends of the pins and toss them at you like a needle machine gun. Without falter, he became as fearsome as a German machine gun.
“W-what in the AGH!” You immediately began dodging the barrage of needles the best you could, jumping and weaving through the onslaught of pricks. While most hit the wall behind you, it eventually became overwhelming enough for you to have to use your saddlebag as a shield to protect you from the rest of the shots. Miraculously, due to your increased reflexes and thinking, you get out of it unscathed, though your bag was now a pin cushion. “Aha...ah..ha… HA! Nice try, Scrappy! But there was… Huh?” When you looked back at the podium, he was gone.
“SNEAKY SPIKE STRIKE!” Scrappy screamed out, suddenly from behind. Did he use that attack as a distraction then? You couldn’t really keep track of him when you used your saddlebag as a shield. You also didn’t have time to turn around when you felt a pin get shoved right into your right asscheek.
“GYYYAH!” You jumped forward, a jolt of pain hitting your rear as Scootaloo’s giggles filled the air. You look back at Scrappy, who falsely yawned as he put his paw over his mouth. “You little! That really hurt!”
“It was supposed to. I have given you, Anon, the pain in the rear you have oh so talked about many a time. NOW PREPARE FOR SALTY TEARS!” He cries out once again as he breaks his smug pose.
“Salty what now? What are you on abAFDFDASDAS” You cover your eyes with your hooves after Scrappy makes another lightning quick movement. As in, he somehow pulled salt out of fucking nowhere and threw it right into your eyes, causing you to fall. “HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET SALT FROM?! GYAHH GEEZ!” You could barely see as you tried to wipe your eyes clean from the salty pain.
“I have been carrying around salt with me for many months! I was originally going to save it for my friends in case they forgot their own salt for use on delicious food, but it seemed good to use it now to open you up to my final attack!” Scrappy said as he prepared himself for a pounce.
“Months?” This confused Scootaloo greatly, as she never saw him with any kind of carrying case. “Scrappy, where were you keeping the salt all this time?”
“The perfect hiding place! Up my butt! It didn’t sting or anything thanks to my exoskeleton. The perfect hiding place!” He said with a happy little hiss.
Scootaloo cringed at that, that was gross. “Y-yeah, oogh… Sorry, Anon.”
“Wait. WHAT?! N-NGH?! MNGHHHH.” You could feel it, a sickening rumble in your stomach. That was too gross, you had what was essentially bug turd in your fucking eyes. Did changelings shit? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to know. But the image was still in your head. “I-I don’t feel… so…” You just couldn’t hold it in, or really pay attention to what was going on. You hadn’t even realized Scrappy had finally made his charge forward towards you to pin you down. The moment Scrappy moved in close, you began to hurl,and hurl, and puke, and throw up, and everything else dealing with the action of spilling your guts out. Hell, it didn’t even make sense! How did the salt not dissolve after all that time?! It was too much, you fell unconscious just from the grossness of it all. It was in your eyes for christ sake!
“Agh! NGH! WHAT IS THIS?!” Scrappy cried as you puked all over his face during his charge. He stepped back as he shook his head, gagging from the smell of your vile bile. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get much of the liquid or it’s smell off his face. “It smells so bad! I-is this what Anon’s insides smell like?! Ngh, so… smelly… Anon smells worse than… Yak fart...nghaaaa” And he fell, and he fell hard, right onto his chin. Scrappy was out like a light so hard he reverted to his colorful changeling state upon unconsciousness.
Scootaloo just walked over and looked at you, and then Scrappy, and sighed. “Tie? I guess? Uhh…” Scootaloo could not only smell the puke coming from Scrappy’s face, but the salt he threw onto you had a pungent odor of its own which most likely contributed to your vomiting. “Ogh, that smells… Erm…” Scootaloo walked back to a set of drawers near the corner of the clubhouse and pulled out a lemon scented deodorizing spray. She walked up to Scrappy and gave his face a spray, instantly killing the odor. She then looked to you and gave you a spray as well. “There we go, that’s uh… Much better.”
“Anon? Hey, Anon. You ok?” Ugh, you could hear Scootaloo’s voice. But you couldn’t remember what happened after Scrappy challenged you. Did you get knocked out? Did you knock him out? And why did your eyes hurt?
“Ugh, Scoots? Ngh… what happened?” You opened your eyes to a blur of colors. You could see you were under a blanket marked with rainbow lightning bolts, and you could feel a pillow under your head. “D-did I win? Or lose? Erm…”
Your vision began to clear, and you could see Scootaloo looking rather unsure as she looks behind herself. It seemed Scrappy, as well, was knocked out due to… something. “Oh um, well, it was a tie actually.”
A tie? “Wha? How did that happen? I remember accepting his challenge but… Nothing right after that. Also...” You licked at your muzzle, tasting the bitter taste of something soapy and lemony “Why do I taste lemony fresh?”
Scootaloo put on a false looking smile as her voice jittered a tad “Oh um, you headbutted him and you both got knocked out. As for the smell, erm…” She shrugged “Wouldn’t know. Maybe you’re just tired or something” Huh, it was like something much worse happened and she didn’t want to let you in on it. Weird, especially since you don’t get knocked out by headbutts so easily. But then again, you were feeling rather woozy today. First that weird filly, and now getting knocked out by a headbutt. C’mon, Anon, you can do better than that!
“Yeah, maybe. I have been feeling really off, ngh. Can’t believe it was a double K.O. though.” You leaned upwards and gave your head a rub. Huh, you didn’t feel any kind of head pain. “Anyway, ugh… Can you wake him up and ask him yourself to tell me the info on Chrysalis, it’s really important that I find out.”
“Well, actually, Scrappy did tell me everything he knew about it.” Scootaloo said, as her sudden timid nature began to subside.
“What?! Then why did I have to fight him?!” You bellow
“I mean, he has been wanting to challenge you again for a really long time, Anon, especially after you finished your training. I didn’t wanna tell him no.” Scootaloo explained.
Of course, the little bugger must have been begging for a fight for awhile, ever since your training started most likely. “Right… Ok then, so, what’s the news then?”
“Well, there’s good news. And there’s some bad news. In that order” Scootaloo said
Huh… He knew enough to have both kinds? This oughta be interesting. “So what's the good news then?”
“Well, Scrappy says Chrysalis actually… well… saved us.” Scootaloo said, her voice not as cheerful as it should be given such news.
But you? Hah! You knew it! Or you felt it anyway, despite your previous fears. “Hah! I KNEW IT! Told you! Chrysalis may still be evil, but she’s still my friend. Plus, she must be learning something if she saved the both of us out of the blue and… wait” How did she save the both of you? From the glow of the statue, it looked like she blew it up herself. “How did she save us exactly?”
“Well, that’s the thing, she tried to save us. Scrappy says if you could notice her aura, then she was using a lot of magic on the statue. And the reason why she was using magic on the statue was because the gears were mangling each other at that point. Chrysalis tried to stop it altogether, but couldn’t hold it for long.” Scootaloo explained.
So the sounds of the gears, before the aura, that was the entire platform falling apart. Well then, the bad news didn’t sound too bad, and didn’t hold a candle to the good news. “Well, the bad part is behind us. Good to know we don’t have to worry about her now, now if only I could find her…”
“Erm, Anon, wait. That statue blowing up wasn't the bad news, I didn’t even say what it is yet. Actually…” Her ears began to fold and droop as she prepared her next words “You’re probably not gonna like this next part.”
Relax, Anon, you already know she tried to save you. Good enough to make whatever bad news you were about to hear to be pretty insignificant. “What is it?”
“Well, the reason Scrappy said she tried to save us in the first place was because he knows how she is. And so, he said there were actually two possibilities why she tried. The first was because you’re her best friend, and the other… erm… She um... “
“C’mon, Scoots, out with it. What other possibility could there be?!” Like, what else could it be?!
Scootaloo sighed, and looked at you with intense worry “The other possibility is that she wants to destroy you personally. Scrappy says she might want to get her revenge for what happened to the other changelings, personal revenge, as in she won’t let anything happen to you until she can destroy you herself.”
Shit, how could you forget that possibility? But, it can’t be that, right? She was stupid pissed when she ran off, but she was still your friend, right?
...Right?
Scootaloo could see you mentally trying to rationalize the news, and it was something she hated. She hated seeing you still try to hold onto such a friendship. She knew even when you verbally say you were over it, that you still clinged to it for reasons even she couldn’t understand. “Anon, I’m worried about you. If she wants to destroy you then we can’t keep this to ourselves. We have to tell somepony, she’s too dangerous.”
You sat there, silently, pondering. You couldn’t really tell anyone else, not even Discord. The only person you felt comfortable telling was Bonbon, and this was due to two reasons. Her skills, and the fact that in the show she really has done next to nothing when it comes to saving the world, which meant in the end, she wouldn’t get in your way. Still though, if Scootaloo was going to be worried so much about it, perhaps looking at Bonbon’s skills in a more optimistic light might be needed, if only because it could come to a surprise at how good she actually is at her job. Hell, if there happens to be some sort of final showdown, maybe she’d have the means of subduing Chrysalis without you even having to be there. All this, of course, if Scrappy’s second possibility turns out to be true, as she could have still just saved you due to friendship. “You’re right, Scoots. Thats why I’m gonna tell Bonbon about it. If anything, she should be able to help me out.”
“Anon! You can’t just… Oh wait” Scootaloo’s ear twitched as her face made an expression of pure confusion “You’re actually going to tell somepony?”
You nod “Yeah, I mean it’s dangerous not to, right?” It really wasn’t, as another thing you had was the horn, something she had no chance against anyway.
“Yeah… Ok, I guess that's alright. You’re not messing with me? You are going to tell her, right?” Scootaloo questioned
You nod again as you wave your hoof at her “Yeah, yeah, you have my word and my promise. But I’m gonna do that after a few errands. I gotta see the changelings today, and then Twilight.”
“The changelings?” Scootaloo was once again confused “Why? I thought you found them creepy.”
You shrug “I just wanna make sure everything is on the up and up, especially now that we know Chrysalis is skulking about. Better safe than sorry, right?”
“Yeah, that’s actually pretty true. I mean, Thorax seems nice, but we really don’t know what goes on over at that hive.” Scootaloo said as she rubbed her chin. Scootaloo, while she loved and trusted Scrappy like a little brother, still had trust issues with the rest of the changelings. It made sense, given that there still had to be some tension deep down within her after being attacked by them so long ago.
“Exactly.” You nod
“Ok, but what about Twilight then? Why see her? Unless you’re gonna tell her about Chrysalis too, which I kinda think you should, just in case” Scootaloo asked
“That's sort of a last resort kind of thing, Scoots. I just wanna see her about… Well… Don’t laugh.” Oh god, she’s gonna laugh. “I want to ask if I could work as a professor at her school.”
“You mean, teaching others about friendship stuff? I don’t think that’s funny, that’s actually kind of cool.” Scootaloo said, looking at you with an uplifting smile
“Seriously? You think it’s cool?” Woah, you expected her to laugh at you.
She nods “Yeah. I mean, you’re a kid like us, but you’ve managed to do so much in terms of friendship. Sure, you didn’t reform Chrysalis, but you reformed really scary ponies like Starlight and Tempest. I mean Rainbow Dash could have done it too, but you managed to do it before her, or even Twilight even. You have this knack that other ponies don’t have. So yeah, I think you could do it. Heck, I even got a cool title for you. You could be a professor of ‘Alternative Friendship Techniques’. Pretty cool, right? Just came up with it now!”
Wow, that was really encouraging of her, it made you feel like you could actually do it. “Yeah, that’s actually a pretty darn cool title. I think I’ll use it, thanks Scoots.”
“No problem, Anon. Though, if you do this, I’m gonna miss you. I mean, you know, at school.” She said with a soft frown
Wha? “You and the girls aren’t going to Twilight’s school?”
Scootaloo shook her head “Never got an invite, so nope. I guess she thinks we’re already good at friendship or something. I dunno, I guess. I don’t even know how that school is going to work. But if it's about teaching friendship, then you’d be perfect for teaching alternative techniques and stuff.”
Ok, why does she keep mentioning “alternative” techniques? It was kind of irking you. “Why do you keep saying that? Are you saying I can’t teach any normal friendship stuff?”
Scootaloo hesitates at first. But she does indeed nod with a slight grimace. “Erm… I mean, ummm… You kind of do ‘not so friendly’ kinds of things sometimes, Anon. I’m not knocking you or anything like that, but you know how Twilight is. That’s why I said ‘alternative’. Because one, you really are good at reforming bad guys, and two, its nothing like anypony else has ever seen, which makes it 'alternative'. See what I mean now?”
Huh… Well, while you still felt you were good at friendship all around, but you couldn’t deny that dealing with especially bad guys seemed to be mostly your strong suit. “I think I do, and… Thanks, Scoots. It’s good to know I at least have your support.” You tell her with a smile as you put on your horn.
“No problem, Anon, we’re a team, remember? We gotta get each others backs and support each other too. So, you going to the hive already?” She asks as she steps back, and opens up a cooler at the side of the podium.
You nod “Yeah, gotta get it done as soon as possible, you know?”
“Yeah, especially with what we know now. Here!” She takes an apple juice box from the cooler and tosses it towards you “In case you get thirsty, because… you could get thirsty.” She said, as her smile suddenly became awkward. What did she mean by that? You did feel rather parched, now that you thought about it, as if you had expelled a ton of liquid. But even then, it was odd to see her acting weird. But whatever, she was probably just worried.
“I will, thanks, Scoots, seeya soon” You wink at her as you catch the box, and then disappear in a flash of light.
“I really, really hope he knows what he’s doing.” Scootaloo remarks before tending to Scrappy, worried about your mental state and health.
In a flash of light, you appeared before an ominous yet rather cheerful mound that towered quite high. It was full of holes and had a large gaping entrance, all covered by beautiful flowers and greenery. Even around you, gardens were being well kept despite the outer area being a dry husk of a wasteland. Indeed, this was the changeling hive under Thorax’s rule. You stood there, and started sipping from the straw of the juice box as you thought internally to yourself out loud. “Ok, so that Neighsay guy said they are probably up to something, but what? This place is actually coming to look like a rather nice place for a giant termite hill.” You then put the juice box, half empty, into your bag. It’d be good to use to return home once you were finished.
But you did have to be careful, as you have only been inside once before during the time they moved back in. Who knows what they might be doing now, especially when they aren’t expecting company. You took a breath, and headed on inside.
Inside, you could see a network of tunnels and holes, along with sprawling large rooms between them. It looked like being inside yet outside, as everything was rather organic in its make. In the patches of sunlight coming from the outer walls, more greenery and flowers could be seen, and yet this isn’t what catches your eye. “Christ…” You could see many a colorful changeling, merrily giggling, having fun, and being generally merry, if a little pathetic. You also overheard such strange things such as “I tried throwing more sponges into the bath, but I didn’t feel any more relaxed” or “Being cool is really hard, y’know? I can only handle having so many ice packs on me before I get chilly. Maybe I should take a few off next time, right?”
For the most part, they seemed rather busy, so busy that they just didn’t notice you. Were you invisible? Or were they plotting something so hard that they failed to notice a foal in their midst? And if they were plotting, why did they seem as fucking stupid as Scrappy?
“Anon?” You hear from above. That voice, that pathetic voice. You look up to see the king of the color bugs, Thorax, hovering down in front of you “H-hey! Welcome to the hive!” He carefully lands in front of you, looking a little irked at your presence, but still generally friendly. “Didn’t expect to see you here… ever actually, but its very nice to see you”
Wut? “Why didn’t you never expect to see me here?” You say, noticing other changelings have finally started to take notice of you.
“Well, because, last time you were here, I could feel a lot of hate coming off of you. And erm, well, it was like you blamed me for what happened to the former queen leaving. Which, erm, I think was kind of a good thing because… Well… she was pretty evil and oh… erm…” As if he could sense a sudden anger in you from the mention of Chrysalis, he stopped in his words, and tried to be more inviting “Well, welcome to the hive… again. How may I help you?”
Indeed, you did have those feelings before, and perhaps you were still a might sensitive. But dammit, you had a lead now, and since Chrysalis was focused on you, there was no reason to worry about her for now until you could figure out a plan. “Well, I actually came here for business. Friendship school business”
“Oh? Oh!” A happy little smile formed on Thorax’s face when you said those words “You’ve been invited to Twilight’s new school? That's wonderful! I’m sure she’ll be able to help you with your… Your…“ Thorax stopped himself when he realized he was going to say “everything”, he really did feel that, most of all, your meaner demeanor and unhealthy obsessions were a detriment to your health. “Yeah! That’s great! And I’m glad you came to tell me too, as we ourselves are learning more about friendship everyday, and would not mind sharing it with you.”
Wut? Did he think you came to have some wimpy pow-wow or something? “Yeah, right. But I’m actually here for a reason. See, I heard you had a changeling prepped up to go to the school or something, and I’d like to meet him, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh! You want to meet your future classmate! That’s nice of you. Sure I can get Ocellus if you want. Erm, she’s a girl by the way.” Thorax mentions as he begins to flitter his wings.
Wut? “A girl? You mean, like, a queen?”
“What? Oh no no, she’s just a female changeling, Anon. That doesn’t make her a queen though, why would you think that?” He asks as he stops his wing movement, confused by your statement.
“Erm, well. Aren’t all the changelings boys? With the queen being a girl?” What is this nonsense? You don't remember any other girls.
“Uhhhhh, um. Anon, we always had girls in the hive, didn’t you know that? I mean, you had the hive in your basement for a long time, so I’m sure you noticed.” Thorax just looked really confused now, he couldn’t figure out how you could be so ignorant.
You start to laugh falsely, trying to downplay your mistake “HAHA! Right! Just messing with you, Thorax. Just a joke among friends, of course I knew, was just… A joke.” Holy fuck, how did you not notice?!
Thorax was even further confused “Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?”
Ugh, you could feel the embarrassment run right through you, you just put your hoof to your face in shame. “C-can you just go get Ocellus, please?”
And Thorax could feel it, your embarrassment that is, and didn’t wish to push it further. “Right… I’ll go get her.” And with that, he flew off into one of the many holes of the hive.
You had female changelings the whole fucking time?! THE WHOLE TIME?! Females that you could have… No, wait, don’t get ahead of yourself. The changelings were a rather ugly sort aside from Chrysalis herself, and pretty dumb to boot, there was probably no way you’d fu-fu-fu-fu-fu…
As Thorax came back through the hole above, a gentle looking light blue bug, with soft eyes, followed behind. She was adorable, with a pink tail, and a pink head frilly… thing. Even her wings were cute. THAT’S OCELLUS?!
Thorax landed in front of you, and presented Ocellus to you with whimsy in his voice. “And here she is, your future classmate, Ocellus. I hope you both become fast friends!”
Ocellus looks to you with a childishly cute smile as she waves her hoof “Hey, Anon. It’s nice to see you again, I’m… actually surprised you remember me.”
Remember? How the fuck were you supposed to when you have never seen such adorable bugginess before?! HOW IS SHE SO CUTE?! “Oh, erm… Ahrm.” Be polite, Anon, she looks fragile. “I’m afraid I don’t, but I wouldn’t mind getting to know you now. Erm, Thorax, would you mind if I spoke to her alone? Y’know, ease things a bit for when we see each other again at the school?”
“Oh, um, ok! Ocellus, you don’t mind, right?” Thorax asks her
Ocellus shakes her head, still having that sweet smile “Not at all, if anything, this will help me further the friendship studies I’ve already been reading about. I’d love a chance to make friends with Anon, especially since he doesn’t remember me.” Huh, seems she didn’t seem hurt at all that you didn’t remember her… Weird, you’d think she would.
Thorax took his leave, leaving the two of you alone, though there were still other changelings about. It prompted her to invite you outside so you both could have a private chat. “So you’re going to Twilight’s school? That’s wonderful, Anon. I feel, personally, that there are so many more things to learn about friendship, more than what I can learn than just staying at the hive and reading about it.”
Man, she wasted no time in being adorably friendly. “Yeah, erm… you’re not hurt at all that I don’t remember you?”
She shook her head “Not at all, especially when you were dealing with so many other things at the time. But look, now we have a chance to not only be friends, but to be friends with so many others too! Isn’t that nice?” She said in a soft yet sickly sweet tone.
How could she be so nice and into friendship if she was down in your basement all that time? And even furthermore, being stuck with Chrysalis even before that. “Yeah, that sounds awesome. Though, I gotta ask, what got you so deep into wanting to go to the school in the first place?”
“Oh, um, a lot of things.” She looks up in the air and tilts her head as she starts to name things off “Being nice makes me feel better, having all kinds of friends seems nice, learning about the world around me is something I’ve always been interested in, and most of all…” She looks to you with a cheery smile “Knowing you, even from a distance, gave me a lot of courage to want to try.”
You? Wut? “Me? What did I do?”
“You managed to become friends with the queen, Anon. Ok, she’s sort of mean and really nasty, but you still managed to become her very first friend, which is incredible! I felt if you could make friends with her, maybe I could make friends with everycreature too!” She was really cheery about this. Hah, your own amazing abilities precede you.
“I mean, I am pretty great. Heh, glad I could help. Yeah, friendship is a pretty good thing, Ocellus, and I’m glad to have been an inspiration.” Yep, you were awesome and… wait, why is she blushing? “Ocellus? You ok?”
“Erm… um. Actually, I was thinking back…” She sat back, and started to shyly tap her hooves together “To when me and my sisters had a crush on you.”
WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?! THIS CUTE BUG, AND HER SISTERS, HAD A CRUSH ON YOU?! AS IN, MULTIPLE GIRLS?! “U-um, what do you mean?” You started to feel that familiar heat wash over you, did she still have a crush on you?
“Well, you were the only one to be friends with the Queen. And my sisters and I, I guess because we were the youngest, and kind of naive, kind of latched onto you and how cool you were. We were kind of always talking about how we could get close to you, and maybe, cuddle?”
You let out a huge breath of air, and started to slowly wheeze. “C-cuddle?”
“Mhmm, I remember you really liked to cuddle. Sometimes we thought about cuddling with you all at the same time, taking forms of things you found really nice.” She said.
GYAH! YOU COULD FEEL IT! THE MISSED OPPORTUNITY SHOOTING YOU TO DEATH WITH A MACHINE GUN! You felt dazed, your breath becoming heavier as you felt like crumbling right there. “A-all of you? A-at once?”
“Mhmm, we just wanted to make you feel really nice, and do whatever you asked us to. I-I mean, we also wanted to feed off you, but we still… Really wanted to be around you.” Ocellus said, her voice never becoming lustful, still retaining that soft innocence.
You were crumbling, you couldn’t handle this. You had multiple girls, MULTIPLE GIRLS, WHO COULD BECOME WHOEVER! WANTING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD! HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCKING NO! DEAR GOD, PLEASE, NO! WHY DID YOU MISS OUT ON THIS?! “E-erm, w-would it be weird if I asked why you didn’t come to me sooner?”
“Oh, well, that’s easy. We were afraid the queen would do something really bad to us. She kind of seemed like she wanted you to be her and the captain’s friend only, so we never tried. Really, back then, I was kind of scared to do anything. Or talk to anycreature else, even when I was… erm… bad.”
G-G-GUH. You were losing it! You couldn’t hold it together! “W-what about now? D-do you still feel the same way?”
She shook her head “Not anymore, everything is different now. I only have a crush on friendship! And wanting to learn as many new things as I can. That’s why I can’t wait to go to school, and it's all thanks to you, Anon! It’s the same with you, right?” She looks to you, then gasps in fright “Anon?!”
You were down on the ground, your color dulled, your libido crushed by the giant rocks of missed opportunity. It was right there in front of you, and you somehow just did not notice it. “Death, come unto me, for those who hesitate are lost. What am I, but a man with a lust for the tender flesh of the female form, to indulge in the fruit of pleasure at least once, as I’d not be able until I come of age. My life is nothing, I am nothing, the world is nothing, all due to the faltering of one’s own mind. Here lies the fool, defeated by his own ignorance. Leave me, for I am done.” You say in a grim tone before slamming your face to the ground.
“Erm, Anon…” Ocellus looked left and right, confused at your sudden poetry, thinking you were trying something for class. “T-that was sudden. I-I don’t really get it, b-but it sounded very… Poetic? A-are you alright?”
You said nothing, you just laid there, looking dead.
“I-I’m going to get King Thorax now. Erm…” She couldn’t say anything else as she could feel a dread in your heart ever growing. She went back inside the hive to get Thorax for help.
“Diamond, forgive me, for I have sinned… Or just really wanted to, that one time, god… fucking… dammit!” You slam your head the moment Ocellus was out of earshot.
Sometime after, Ocellus and Thorax came back outside to check on you. By that time, you were already up, brushing yourself off and highly frustrated with the fact you missed out on harem sex. Still though, if it’s one thing you could say, the changelings weren’t up to anything bad. Ocellus herself just seemed like an eager if naive little bug girl who just wanted to be studious and learn about friendship even further than what she could learn here at the hive.
With that, your mission was complete. You apologized to Ocellus for your shambling demeanor, explaining to her that you were just tired. Something she agreed with given how she remembered how you had trouble waking up in the morning. Thorax however, now knowing you were ok, seemed pretty pleased that you and Ocellus hit it off, as he could sense nothing but an odd sense of joy from you when you looked at her. He offered you a drink, and extended an invitation to some feelings therapy like...thing. But you declined.
You found it weird, however, this Ocellus. Maybe it was her eyes, or maybe it was her tone, but you felt that had you not influenced her in any way at all, that she would be this shy and timid creature afraid to show her own face. If that was the case, you must have really been something to break her out of that shell.
It made you think, maybe more good things came out of your friendship with Chrysalis than you thought. Hell, it’s not like she would have been an actual character or anything whose shyness would have been broken by five other misfits and their misadventures or some shit like that. You really were a hero. But if that was the case…
Dammit Chrysalis, were you not inspired enough? Could you really not see it?
As for you, was that obsession coming over you again? Maybe, Scoots and the others really were right. You had already done so much good already. This refocus on Chrysalis could bring everything down, especially if she somehow manipulated you through this. You can’t, you can’t let yourself ruin what you’ve already managed to do. So you look to Ocellus, and give her a nod. “It was nice meeting you, Ocellus, and I really am glad I could help inspire you to want to make more friends. You stay awesome, alright?”
“Ok! Thank you, Anon! It was really nice getting a chance to know you, erm, again! Also, drink more liquids, ok? I got scared there, and if I’m correct, drinking lots of water helps ponies stay hydrated and healthy.” She said to you, still worried about your health.
“Y-yeah, I-I’ll remember that. T-take care, you two, seeya when I sees ya” You used the remaining juice you had to return home. Welp, he was wrong about the changelings. So no worries there. And that Ocellus, she was alright. But just remember Anon, you have a girl already, just stick with it.
Upon returning home, you had a few choices available to you. Go to Bonbon’s or go see Twilight. True, you were going to do both anyway, but the temptation to ask to be a professor at the school was growing within you. But, these thoughts are broken when you could hear heavy machinery coming through your floor door. “Huh?” You hop off your bed and head towards it, opening it to peer downward.
There wasn’t much of a sight, just the usual oddities. But you did see Discord, donned in a suit and sunglasses and using a cell phone, pacing angrily around the trap door to the basement. “What do you mean you won’t have the snacks for the concession stand ready for tonight?! Don’t you realize Anon takes forty chapters just to go to the bathroom? That should leave you ample-Hmm? What? No, no… I can’t actually think of a time I’ve seen him use a bathroom, but my point still stands! If the stand isn’t ready by tonight, I’ll have your beard!” Discord growls as he hangs up the cell phone, and throws it to the ground, causing it to explode. “I swear, magically created clones are so lazy these days.”
Well, it seemed he was taking tonight very seriously, in his own way anyway. You decide to slowly close the door and head to your portal door, opening up to the city hall setting once again, near the center of Ponyville. You step through to make a trek towards the castle, but luck manages to favor you as you see Twilight walking by nearby, accompanied by Rarity. If anything, that makes things easier. They seemed to be heading towards the direction of the spa, which given Rarity’s presence, was probably exactly where they were headed. You decide to slowly follow, and trail from behind unnoticed by dashing behind poles and bushes to listen on their conversation.
“...Trust me, darling. You’ll feel like a new mare after all this. Really, you shouldn’t stress yourself too much about yesterday or Discord’s vulgar little stunt. Anon and Scootaloo are quite alright, so no need to worry about that. As for the statue, well, at least it was lemonade.” You could hear Rarity trying to pep up Twilight, who upon closer inspection, seemed pretty stressed out.
“I know, I know it was all part of the show, but it seemed so real and so dangerous to put those two through that, especially Scootaloo. As for Discord, ugh, UGH, that was worse than vulgar! And to even suggest using it as the centerpiece of the school?! Sometimes he just goes too far, especially these days. Rarity, I’m telling you, Anon has something to do with it, Discord would have never done something… egh, that gross.” Twilight whined, acting like a little bitch as far as you were concerned. How bad was it that she had to blame you?!
“And I told you I’d hear no such thing. Yes, Anon is a little rough around the edges, but he’s a good and courteous colt as far as I’m concerned. Besides, given the statue’s expression, it was clearly all Discord’s idea, I highly doubt Anon had anything to do with it. Twilight, I know you’re a little high strung right now, but you can’t both worry about him AND accuse him with such baseless accusations. Why would you even suggest such a thing?” Rarity asked. Yeah! Rarity stepping up to defend you! Well, you did know about the statue, but you had nothing to do with it, so Twilight could, in fact, fuck off.
“I… Hmmm. I guess I’m just not thinking clearly.” Or Twilight was still keeping the full truth about you a secret. Many in your friends and friends’ circles knew of your origin, but not of your age, so of course Rarity still thought of you as an innocent colt. Which you were, for the most part. It also was pretty much your cue to come in.
“Girls! Hey! Hey! What’s up!” You yell out with cheer, bouncing from the bushes behind before they notice, and trotting over to Rarity’s side to give her a quick nuzzle “Hey Twilight! Good Afternoon, Miss Rarity! I hope you both have been having a wonderful day today!”
“Awww, good afternoon, Anon. And yes, I have, and so will Twilight once I get her to the spa. She’s been having a bad couple of days, you see, and needs a little freshening up.” Rarity explains as she stops to give you a friendly little headpat.
Twilight’s ear flicked as she looked at you both with suspicion, and yet with some relief. She was torn with being happy to see you physically alright, while still suspecting you of wrongdoing. But it seems better judgement won with her this time as she greets you with a friendly demeanor “Hello, Anon”
“Heya, Twilight!” You look over to her with a cheery grin. You could be an asshole, but you needed to butter her up just a bit to increase your chances with what you were about to ask. “I hope what happened with the test didn’t scare you or anything. I mean, I knew Scoots and I could handle it. And whatever else is worrying you, don’t even worry about it. I mean, think of it this way, Now you get to hang out with one of your best friends at the greatest spa in Equestria! That’s pretty awesome if you ask me.”
“Well well, now that’s the kind of optimism everypony needs nowadays.” Rarity once again gives you a gentle little headpat. “See, Twilight? You’re stressing over nothing. Speaking of stress. Anon, I’m sure all that training and whatnot has left you rather fatigued as well, would you like to accompany us to the spa? My treat.”
Ohhhhh, that was an offer you felt you shouldn’t refuse. But dammit, you did make plans with Discord and you didn’t know how long you’d be with Bonbon, as you knew she’d get on your case the moment you mention Chrysalis. You felt bad for rejecting, but you were sure she’d understand if you still sounded cheery. “Sorry, Miss Rarity, but I have a few important things I have to do today, but would I be able to take a rain check on that, maybe? Oh!...” IDEA! “For me and erm… Diamond, maybe?”
Rarity stopped for a moment, and then gave you a rather tricky grin “Oho, I see what you’re doing, Anon.” She let out a soft chuckle “Alright, I accept. I could make it as part of your false honeymoon after the false wedding. You won’t even need to pay me back, as the blossoming young love you two share will be payment enough.”
Fucking score! You were sure Diamond would be ecstatic to spend the day at the spa with you, getting relaxed and extra cozy with you and… erm… ho boy, things might get steamy. Still, thanks to Rarity, you not only scored a relaxing afternoon, but a relaxing afternoon you get to share with Diamond.
Though, thinking about it now, and the childishness of it all being part of a false honeymoon. It made you realize that the love she has for you, most of all, is genuine. It made you feel that perhaps you should use that time at the spa to get to know each other a little better, non sexually. Sure, you both had been close for awhile, but you really should get to know more about her likes and dislikes and such. She may be a foal, but there’s more to her than just being a Rich with a dream of becoming a princess. Noted.
You take a bow, appreciative of her generosity “Thank you, Miss Rarity, you’re always way too kind to me. I really appreciate the offer.”
“You’re very much welcome, Anon. It’s a pleasure to be of service.” Rarity herself, does a cute little curtsy towards you. Though, looking at Twilight, she was once again looking at you with slight suspicion. Christ, you had a feeling she’d say no given that look. But hell, if you present her with logic, she may very well come around.
“Again, thank you. Um, actually, it’s good that I ran into you two. Well mostly Twilight anyway. I wanted to ask her a question about her school.” You keep up the cheery act, hoping a positive attitude would help your chances at least by a little bit.
“Hrm? Oh?” And that immediately catches Twilight’s attention, and positively so too, and she suddenly becomes happy and energetic “Did you change your mind about the invitation, Anon?”
“Er, sorta? I was actually wondering if you’d, well, given the fact I managed to reform quite a few dangerous foes and become their friends and all, um, y’know… Ahrm” Just let it out, Anon! You look towards Twilight, and give her a confident look along with a commanding stance “I’d like to become a professor at your school. I think I have the experience to teach, what I’d like to call, alternative friendship techniques. In other words, ways of friendship that are additive to the six basic elements that could help those who might have trouble understanding said elements.”
“What? Anon, I can’t let you become a professor at my school.” Twilight says, surprised by your sudden question “Especially since the elements themselves are a proven method of friendship!”
Did she just ignore everything you just said? “Sure, but it doesn’t always work! C’mon, we had this discussion before and we even agreed the school could help those who might have the same troubles Tempest and Starlight did. Well, who better to help them but the guy who can manage it in the first place?” C’mon Twilight, even you can’t deny that shit. What argument could she possibly dish out at you?
“Anon, that doesn’t mean you’re qualified to teach. The kinds of students we’ll be having will be from across the entire world, many who may have not even heard of the elements in the first place. It’s important for them to learn about the elements over anything else to help them along the path of friendship. You can join along with them, but I can’t let you teach them your ways.” Twilight explains. She wasn’t angry, but she was adamant on not letting you teach at her school.
“Twilight, to be fair, you…” Dammit, your eyes shifted to Rarity’s, who was observing and already becoming growingly distraught at the situation. As if she could feel the tempers rising. You wanted to slam the whole Yak thing back at her again, as well as losing to Tempest, Starlight, and apparently pissing off those Hippogriff things. You did, but you didn’t want to upset Rarity. “You don’t know that for sure. I’m not flaunting my title here, I’m merely saying sometimes the elements aren’t enough, and you know I have methods others have never even thought of here in Equestria. Doesn’t that at least warrant me a chance?”
Twilight shakes her head, still remaining calm “Anon, I’m not saying what you managed to do isn’t impressive. But it has no place in my school. I’m sure if you took the classes, you’d understand that. You could at least give that a chance, right?”
What?! Fuck her! You already knew enough about the fucking elements, what else was there for you to learn?! “Twilight, I practically understand all the elements as well as I understand basic math, it's all elementary to me at this point. Hence why I feel my class could ADD to the elements, really help those who want to further better themselves beyond just knowing the elements.”
Both you and Twilight looked to each other, with Twilight readying herself for her next set of words. But Rarity, sensing the tension between the two of you, decides to speak up. “If I may interject, and indeed throw in my own opinion, I’d say you’re both correct”
Wuh? Both you and Twilight look to her, confused by her words.
“Well, think about it. Twilight does have a point, as is there another not mentioned. The school hasn’t even opened yet, therefore it is a new frontier for not just it’s future students, but for us as well. We ourselves don’t have any experience actually teaching as professors, yet all of us are working hard to come up with a curriculum centered around the elements of harmony. To say the least, to further add on an alternative class from the get go might be confusing for everycreature. Then there’s the fact that you are rather too young to teach, Anon, and I mean that with no disrespect. I simply mean it in a way that you are not only gaining experience in friendship, but in life too, in a way a foal usually does… Even if it’s out of the ordinary in your case. However, I do have to say that you are quite mature for your age, more than any other foal I’ve known. And your heroic deeds are genuine and great, especially when dealing with foes we as a team of six, could not. And truthfully, I would be interested to see your methods brought forth in the classroom. Perhaps, and this is only a suggestion, we could have a trial run of this class next year, after we’ve managed to settle in ourselves. That doesn’t sound too bad, now does it?”
A year? Well, if it was definite, that wouldn’t be too bad. “I… wouldn’t mind that.”
“Twilight? What do you think?” Rarity asked
“...” Twilight was silent, deep in thought. It took a few moments, but then she finally nodded and looked to you with a stoic glare “If he agrees to take the classes, then I’ll have something set up for him next year. Does that sound fair?”
G-guh?! Really?! REALLY?! Ngh… Why?! You didn’t need her stupid fucking classes, you already knew about the elements. You felt tense, you felt disgusted, and yet… Hell, if that's what it’d take, then she better fucking keep her end of the bargain. “Yeah, but no take backsies. Friends don’t lie to friends like that, right, Twilight?”
“...Right.” Twilight was a little hesitant on that, but she seemed to really want you to attend those classes, and so she bit the bullet. “In fact, if it’d make it easier on you, you could enroll a week after the school opens. Given we’d start with the basics you already know, there’d be no reason to take up your time with it. Just know that if you want that class, you’d have to be ready for school after that week.”
A week off, eh? Well, if it let you avoid the boring ass basics… “Deal!”
“Hurrah! See? Now everypony is happy. And with that, we really do need to be going, Twilight. Don’t want to wait too long, as the spa will be closing in an hour.” Rarity said, before looking at you with a smile, and then a wink. “As for you, Professor Anon, I’m already curious as to what your class will bring to the friendship table.” Heh, as in, she already felt you’d get through the year just fine.
“Don’t worry, I’ll have it all worked out by the end of the year. In any case, I don’t want to keep you two.” You bow to them “Goodbye Miss Rarity, Princess Twilight. And thank you for this opportunity.”
“I admit, I’m surprised you want to teach at all. But if you really mean it, and you’re willing to put in the effort, then you’re welcome, Anon, from the bottom of my heart.” Twilight says, with a sense of hope and serenity in her heart. As if she felt things would be ok thanks to you finally agreeing to take the classes. For you, you just managed to get what you wanted, even if you had to wait a fucking year. You all bid farewell to each other. And as they went off to the spa, you 180’d towards Bonbon’s house.
But, as you pass by the fountain, you hear a familiar adorable voice “Professor Anon, hi again!”
Wuh? You look back to see Cozy Glow, who was suspiciously ducking behind the fountain out of sight of Twilight and Rarity. You thought she left, why was she here? “Cozy Glow?”
She looked to you with a cheery smile, then raised her head and hovered up to see that Rarity and Twilight had gone before looking back at you “Mhmm! Just little ole me! Hi! How did it go with Princess Twilight, are you going to be teaching us when the school opens?”
Ok, that’s weird, was she trailing them? Or was she trailing you? Or did she really just wait here the entire time? How would she have trailed you, anyway? You just got here. “Uh, before I answer that, what are you doing here?”
“Oh! Hehe” She giggled, then looked left and right with suspicion “I noticed you were playing some kind of spy game, and I thought I’d play too! But then when I noticed you talking to Princess Twilight, I decided to hide here so I wouldn’t get caught. Or um…” She suddenly looked really confused “I guess I dunno how to really win the game actually. And since Princess Twilight walked away, I kinda guessed I won. So I thought I’d pop out and ask you if you got the job, since I think that is what you were talking to her about.” She said, giving you an innocent grin.
Well, that was convoluted as fuck. Is she a, well, a special needs pony or something? “I see, erm, well I didn’t get it unfortunately, at least not for this year. I kind of have to attend the school first before Twilight is willing to let me have a chance at teaching at her school. Not the best result, but all it means is I’ll have to show her that I have a real mastery over the six elements. That way Twilight knows that, y’know, that I’m the best. Sure, that sounds arrogant sounding, but I think I deserve a little recognition in the friendship department considering all I’ve done.” Indeed, you were agitated that Twilight still couldn’t see how well you managed yourself in the face of adversity, at least as far as friendship is concerned.
“Oh, I agree. I think you’re oh so amazing at it! I’d say super duper amazing! A lot more than… erm…” She suddenly looks down, feeling shameful “Me. I know we’re fwiends but… I feel like I haven’t done enough to show how much I appreciate you accepting me. Golly, I’m a really bad friend, aerwn’t I?” She looks at you, with tear filled eyes. Christ, she’s a super sensitive little thing.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry, alright? We just met, remember? Besides, it’s not like I’ve really done anything for you too. Look, Cozy Glow, friendship with me really is more of a ‘when you run into me’ type of thing. I’m always coming and going and that hasn’t really given you a chance to get to know me too well. I uh, I mean, if it means that much to you…” You open your saddlebag and look inside to give her something, a present, to hopefully cheer her up. Unfortunately, all you had were the usual stuff, and you weren’t about to hand her your grappling hook or wings. Hmmm…
Well, it’s not like you really needed it for anything else today. You put on your horn, and hold out your hoof as it begins to spark. Cozy Glow stares at your sparkling hoof, amazed “Ohhhh? What are you doing, Anon?”
“Forging a gift with my horn, looks pretty neat, huh?” You ask
“Mhmm, wowie, you do look pretty nifty being all cool and glowy like that. B-but a gift?” She suddenly seemed rather antsy “A-are you really using those super limited charges you have on me? Are you sure you should do that?”
“Heh, I see you know about my charges. Nah, it’s fine, they recharge every night at midnight, so it’s no big deal.” With focus, power, and ingenuity, you craft a doll of yourself onto your hoof. A little self serving, but it should let her know that she’ll always have a friend in you, even from a distance. “Here you go, a doll of me, to remind you that we’ll always be friends, no matter how far apart we are.” Oof, you almost grimaced at that last bit, you realized this action could easily have her develop a crush on you.
She looks at the doll for a moment, then grabs onto it and hugs it tightly, letting out an adorable “eeeee! I love it!” It was heartwarming to be sure. She hovered upwards, holding the doll as she cheerfully says “I’ll always make sure to take good care of it, Anon! You’re the bestest best friend ever! And I promise to always make sure to be the bestest friend to you!”
Ogh, oh yeah, maybe that was a little too much. You give her an unsure grin and an unsettled chuckle “T-that’s great, Cozy Glow. Um, just remember that we’re just friends, ok? Don’t want to overcomplicate things, right?”
“Oh… Because of your marefriend, right? No, no, I understand!” She slowly hovers down, gives you a wink, and then smiles brightly as she presses on her cheeks “I really do understand that you’re really lovey around each other, and I promise not to do anything to ruin that or make it seem that I am lovey with you. Just friends, I got it, weally I do. Erm… Actually” She then moves a little closer, seemingly excited to ask her next question “Would you mind if I followed you around right now? You seem super busy and I’d really not mind, really really not mind, helping you with whatever you need!”
Understanding, adorable, and wanting to be useful and helpful. This filly was a pretty good friend already, made you wonder why she had to go to Twilight’s school at all if she was this eager and nice. Hell, you almost accepted her offer right there and then, but then you remembered why you were going to Bonbon’s. It seemed so hurtful to you to decline her offer that your ears folded as you prepared to give her the bad news. “Sorry, Cozy, this is kind of a thing I gotta do alone. But, we will be running into each other a lot more in the future it seems, so we could probably work as partners on some project or something. That ok with you? I mean, it’s not you or anything, it’s just that I’m doing-”
And then she cuts you off, seemingly unphased by your hesitance to bring her along “Secret hero work? Gee willikers, and here I was being selfish and nearly ruining things. But don’t you worry, Anon, I understand.” She salutes to you, with a militaristic stare “And you can count on me on not being an annoying or overbearing friend. I fuwwy understand, and I promise to never get in your way or make your marefriend jealous. As your friend, I will always do my best.” She then looks to you with a shy giggle, then presses on her cheeks once again “Was that a good way to make a promise?”
Yeah, actually, that pretty much covers all your bases. Wow, why couldn’t the CMC be this on point. Well, Scootaloo mostly was, but not the other two. “That was perfect, Cozy. Anyway, I gotta go, but I promise to meet up with you the moment I can, alright?”
“Ok! You take care, alright, Anon? And don’t stress yourself either, you look awfully worried” She said as she gave you a gentle pat on the head.
Did you? Then again, you were about to share some rather sensitive information on Chrysalis with someone who could either be a major help or a major hindrance. It was a gamble, but if Bonbon really cared about you enough, then you were sure she’d keep it all a secret from the likes of Twilight and the others. “It’s fine, just worried about a few silly things. I get like that sometimes.”
“Oh, ok. Well, good luck then! Can’t wait to see you again!” She happily waved to you, doll held close.
You say your goodbyes, and head off to Bonbon’s. You felt a little more optimistic than you’d usually be. Maybe that was thanks to Cozy Glow and her understanding yet incredibly cheerful nature. Hell, she seemed pretty smart too, given she knew to keep a romantic distance from you. You’d have to see about inviting her to the fake wedding, if only to make the poor little thing feel more included, and hopefully allow her to make friends.
You made your way to Bonbon’s house, with the thought of professorship leaving your mind and being replaced with having to be a student and having to deal with Chrysalis. For now, you’d focus on the more important latter. Chrysalis was focused on you now, possibly in such a way of wanting you dead. But is that what she truly wants? If it is, that would mean you might have no other choice than to…
No, Anon, don’t think about it.
No, you’ll be able to talk about it when you talk to Bonbon about it. Speaking of Bonbon, you probably had to prepare for Lyra to be with her as well. They are rarely apart and you could feel Lyra was going to be rather nosy about it. Then again, she was very good hearted, so you knew she wouldn’t say anything to hurt you.
When you reached Bonbon’s home, you took a moment to prepare yourself, take a breath, and then knock on the door. “Hello? Bonbon? You there? It’s me, Anon!” You shout as you plop your butt down, wagging your tail about as you wait for the cute mare to open the door.
The door opens, but Bonbon is not the one to pop her head out. Instead, it’s Lyra. She looks left and right, then looks down at you with a cheery smile “Well looky here! Long time no see, Anon. How are you doing today?”
You look to Lyra with a smile as you give her a gentle wave of your hoof “Heya, Lyra. I’m doing alright, just came to talk to Bonbon. She’s here, right? I mean, it is her house.”
“Yup, she’s here. Come on in, we’re playing ‘Doctor’! Would be nice to have a colt like you play with us.” Lyra says as she turns around and walks inside, leaving the door open for you.
“D-doctor?” You immediately blush, there’s no way… “I mean, I-I guess I can play, What kind of game is it?” You ask as you follow Lyra inside.
“Hm?” Lyra stops, and turns to look at you, she could see you were blushing red. “Anon, why are you blushing like that?”
Shit! Were you blushing?! “U-umm, just had a thought.”
“Oh, is it because you’ll be playing with us? C’mon, Anon.” Lyra giggles at you “I know its a bit of a silly game, but me and Bonbon like playing it from time to time. And there’s no shame in losing to mares like us.” Lyra gives you a wink and a cocky grin as she enters the living room. A simple room with wooden walls, a couch, some cabinets, and a small table for drinks and such.
Damn, looks like it’s not the “Doctor” you were thinking of. Why would it be anway? In fact, as you follow Lyra into the living room, you could see Bonbon over a table, with some tweezers in her mouth, as she tries to pluck something from a game board with a sleeping pony with holes in it. Oh, this was just “Operation: Pony Edition.” . “Nah, it’s not that. Erm, it’s more like-”
“SHHHHHHHHH!” Bonbon gives you both an evil glare, then went back to trying to pick out what seemed to be the heart. Christ, she’s taking it seriously.
“Wow, I didn’t expect her to be this into any game” You whisper to Lyra “She must really be good at it if she can focus that much”
Lyra stifles a giggle, and whispers to you “Not really, Bonbon actually isn’t good at this game. But she wants to be, she gets kinda angry just thinking about it. I think it has to do with her agent stuff. Y’know, as in she’s probably really precise when she’s working, but she somehow can’t do it when she’s just being herself.”
Huh… “Interesting, so then, how is this game going anyway?”
“Oh, I got the leg bones, the ribs, the tailbone, the horn, and the wing bones.” Lyra whispers
“And what does Bonbon have?” You ask
“Well, if she manages this? The heart” Lyra replies
Oh christ, poor Bonbon. “Oh. Oh geez,I didn’t think she’d be that bad.”
“Shhh, don’t be mean. Bonbon just has trouble not touching the sides. She’s still really amazing at-” Lyra is suddenly cut off by a loud buzzing noise “not that”
“EVERYTIME! EVERY DANG TIME! I CAN EASILY SLIP A SLEEPING NEEDLE RIGHT INTO THE CENTRAL POINT OF A BUGBEAR, BUT I CAN’T REMOVE A HEART?! A FAKE PLASTIC HEART?! THAT’S IT! I’M DONE WITH THIS STUPID GAME! TO TARTARUS WITH ‘DOCTOR’ AND TO TARTARUS WITH ’MARETTEL’! YOU WON’T GIVE ME YOUR HEART?! THEN I’LL BREAK YOU IN TWO! RAGHHH!” Bonbon furiously flips the board into the air with her hooves. It flies, spinning, right into your head. However, the board was so light and rather flimsy, that it splits into two and still continues at a blazing pace into the next room with no sign of slowing down. As for you, you didn’t even feel it.
“Anon! Are you alright?!” Lyra gasps, watching the split board fly by as you continue to look towards Bonbon, undeterred by such a hit.
“Yep, gonna take more than a flimsy plastic board to phase me. Hey, Bonbon, you alright?” You ask her.
Bonbon was still obviously upset as she just looked forward in rage. After a moment however, she snapped out of it, and looked at you. Though, she wasn’t as fearful about the smash as Lyra was “Yeah, I just needed a moment. So, that didn’t hurt at all, huh?”
“Nah, I’m fine. Can’t say the same for the board though, that alicorn won’t be doing any princessing any time soon. Can’t imagine how many ‘patients’ you’ve been through already” You say with a gentle chuckle, giggling at your own joke.
“Yeah, yeah.” Bonbon groans as she walks towards her couch and hops on top of it, sitting as any normal pony would as she rests her head on the arm rest, defeated. “It's just a stupid game anyway.”
“Awww, Bonbon, don’t take it so hard. I know! How about I go grab your cards from the closet and we all play ‘Go Fish’ “ Lyra said, in an attempt to lift the spirits of her friend.
“Eh, I guess. Anon, you wanna play?” Bonbon asks you.
“Um, actually you guys. I really did only come to talk about something important. And since I guess Lyra is gonna find out anyway, it’s about Chrysalis.” You decide to just flat out say it. You didn’t have time to play a few rounds of ‘Go Fish’ and you didn’t want to seem dodgy either, especially around Bonbon, who’d probably figure out you had something to hide.
Bonbon just hides her head on the arm of the couch and shakes it from side to side “Oh good, here we go again.”
“Oh wow, Anon. Erm, I’m kinda with Bonbon on this one. Not that any of us should hate our good friends and all… It’s just she’s not really good at all. Didn’t you say she had the look of vengeance in her eyes when you last saw her?” Lyra says, her cheerful demeanor changing to that of worry the moment you said those words.
You figured you’d get these reactions. “Sorta, yeah. Look, I already know how you both feel about it. I know I should drop it, but there’s been an update recently that kind of plays into my favor… maybe.”
“Wha? An update that plays into your favor? Anon, did you run into her recently?” Bonbon asked as her raised. She hopped off the couch and slowly approached you, awaiting your answer.
“Not really, look, let me explain…” And so you explained. From what happened at the test to what Scrappy revealed to you and Scootaloo. Needless to say, it worried Lyra. But Bonbon, she was deep in thought about it.
“Hmm, so that's what you meant. She’s solely focused on you, either as a reluctant protector or a rider of vengeance. Which means she won’t make a move until she has your undivided attention.” Bonbon says as she ponders your words.
“Wow, really poetic Bonbon! But uh, what does that mean exactly?” Lyra replied, ignorant to what Bonbon meant
Bonbon shrugged, with an awkward smile on her face as she raised her hoof to explain. “It means Anon is in a better situation than even he may have realized.”
Better situation? “I mean, yeah if she’s protecting me. But I’m kind of stuck on what to do if she just wants to destroy me. I want to find at least one more way to convince her to the side of harmony, but until I know what she’s actually doing, I can’t make a move.”
“And I mean yeah no matter what she’s doing. Look, Anon, you have to realize you’re at the advantage here. Don’t say a word, just let me explain.” She says as she puts her hoof to your muzzle before you can retort. “You have to realize that you have a ridiculous advantage with that horn of yours. Really, if you use it properly, she can’t touch you. She doesn’t have her hive nor does she have home advantage, meaning she’s pretty weak on the power scale right now. If Scrappy’s intel is correct, it means, at the worst, she’s going to try to destroy you. But here’s the beauty of it! How can she when you actually outrank her in power? You just need to be dutiful with your horn and have it prepped at the ready at any moment’s notice. Which, unfortunately, comes the part you might not want to hear…”
“Wha? Bonbon, are you saying Anon should actually put himself in danger? Isn’t that the opposite of making sure he’s safe?” Lyra asked, still lost on the whole matter. “I mean, what if she hypnotizes him? Then what?”
“No, I’m pretty good at resisting her hypnosis. And, I…” Huh, how did you not realize you outpowered her that hard? She didn’t have an anti-magic throne or an army of bugpones anymore. She can’t even remove your horn from your neck in any way. You could totally take her one on one if she tried to take you down. But then, what did Bonbon mean by 'you might not want to hear…’ “Guess I can outmatch her. But, what do you mean by not wanting to hear?”
“Anon, Chrysalis is dangerous and has committed crime and crime across Equestria. She wants to conquer us all and use us as food… At least, that’s what we knew about her before she lost her children. The part you may not want to hear is that you’d have to give Chrysalis an ultimatum. Either harmony, or Tartarus. You have to realize that even if your friendship with her was genuine, she was still trying to stall for any time she could borrow to try to make her plans come to fruition. If you can’t convince her now, then there’s no convincing her at all. She still has the potential to be dangerous, Anon, to any and all ponies. Letting her go after having your chance at her at this point is just outright stupid. Do you understand?” Bonbon gives you a sagely yet demanding stare, hopeful that you understood what was at stake.
Your ears droop as memories of Celestia basically telling you similar shit filled your head. Sure, Bonbon wasn’t forcing you, and if anything, made you realize you have quite the advantage in the situation as a whole. But there was that whole ultimatum thing again. Then again, if Chrysalis had lost a few of her marbles due to the loss of her children, it really may be the final chance you’d get. You look to Bonbon, and give her a more determined nod as you quickly come to terms with the situation. One chance, because letting her go would do nothing at this point. “Alright, I understand. But just so you know, I don’t want any lip if I manage to do it.”
Bonbon shook her head at you “You won’t have any lip from me. I’ll be happy for you actually. Heck, she can’t even really trick you either, given she’ll transform like the rest of the hive if she accepts your offer. She could fake it, sure, but if your Dad could lock up her abilities to transform at her own will, then so should you. It’d make it easy to tell then.”
“Wow! Bonbon, that’s true!” Lyra sat and clapped her hooves together for her friend “Amazing as always!”
Bonbon takes a bow to Lyra’s words “Well, I may not be good at ‘Doctor’, but I’m good at my job, which includes figuring out all the possibilities. So, Anon, you’re alright with all this then? You’re not just going to tell me you are, and then back down from it later, right? I mean, you’re still free to try it your own way, I won’t stop you. But I just want to know, honestly, what you plan to do.”
“Unless something else opens up, it looks like all I can do is confront her when she makes her move. I really hope she just wanted to protect me, it’ll make it a lot easier then. Thanks Bonbon for the ideas, It’ll help me figure out what I want to say to her.” You move in close, and give Bonbon a gentle hug.
“Just let her know what’s in your heart, alright? If she’s really your friend, she’ll make the right choice.” Bonbon says, as she returns your hug.
Lyra got teary eyed, she sniffed as she wiped her cheek with her hoof “This really hurts, y’know? You’re both besties, but you can’t be friends because of something as silly as good and evil.”
“I wouldn’t say silly. But the situation could be better, I know I’d have a hard time with my feelings if you suddenly turned out to be evil, Lyra.” Bonbon said, the philosophy of the situation making her wonder what would happen if she was put in your situation.
“Ohh…” Lyra’s ears folded as she frowned, looking to Bonbon with hurt in her heart “I feel the same way. If you were evil, I don’t know what’d I’d do. But I’d do my best, I’d never let anypony hurt you until I could show you the goodness of friendship again.”
Bonbon let out a melancholic chuckle “I appreciate that, but it just goes to show that Anon is gonna have a harder time than even I made it out to be.” She then looks to you, and sighs “I guess I can’t really blame you if you let her get away, but just try not to let her take advantage of you, alright?”
You nod, at least they both understood how hard it really was. “I promise. Thanks guys, I really needed this.”
“Aww, Anon, it’s no biggie. You’re our friend! So we’ll always do our best to steer you right!” Lyra grabs you, pulling you in with her magic, in which she then snuggles onto you gently. “No more worries, alright? We know you’ll manage it! So cool your head, and come play a game with us! We can talk about your whole wedding thing! It’ll be fun!”
“Well” How could you resist the company of this cuddly mare? Though, her mentioning the fake wedding did make you feel bad you were enjoying her affection a little more than you should. “Ok, but just one game. I still have something else I gotta do.”
“Well, I guess I’ll grab the cards then, a few drinks, and a small flask of water for you to use. Just give me a sec.” Bonbon says as she walks off to her room.
You probably needed this anyway. You needed to destress before talking with Starlight and Trixie, didn’t want to be all strung out before Discord’s little show after all.
Well, your visit with Lyra and Bonbon went pretty well after the Chrysalis business. Sure, you didn’t win the game, but you all had a rather good time anyway. The three of you also talked further about the upcoming “wedding”, Bonbon even warning you that Chrysalis could make her move during the wedding itself if she was willing to make a spectacle of it. It was something you’d have to keep in mind. You also decided to mention Neighsay, the mission you were given, and how he turned about to be wrong about the changelings’ intentions. Bonbon thought it was off someone like him would even enlist you for help in the first place, but she did agree that if there was some issue grave enough to require spy work, then there might be some legitimacy to his claim. She also told you to keep on your hooves, because despite not having to report your findings, she has heard he does have a habit of appearing all of a sudden in matters that concern him. You kept to yourself, however, your thoughts about him being a possible villain. His appearance is a little too convenient, and it’s possible he might be trying to manipulate you. This time however, be it pony, foal, or changeling, you wouldn’t let yourself be tricked or manipulated.
After the game was over, you made your goodbyes as you left through a puddle spilled from the flask Lyra gave you, you waste no time in setting your door to Starlight’s town. You step through, and head towards Starlight’s home. It was getting dark, so you surmised Discord was probably done setting up by now. Really, he could have had it set up in a second, but he sure does love his theatrics, even when there is no one around to see it.
Not many ponies were out and about at this time. Shops were closing, foals had headed inside, and quiet had began to settle in. Well, quiet for everyone else, because as you neared Starlight’s door, you could hear heavy sobbing coming from the other side. That crying… That was Trixie. I-is she alright? You knock on the door, and make your presence known. “Hello? Trixie? Starlight? Is everything ok in there?”
“NOPONY IS HOME! IF YOU COME THROUGH THAT DOOR, I’LL… UH… TURN YOU INTO A TOAD!” Trixie screamed, near incoherently, before going back to her crying hysterics.
Well then “Trixie, it’s me, Anon! what’s wrong? Why are you cry- O-oh, hey, Starlight”. Your words are interrupted as an annoyed Starlight, with cotton in her ears, opens the door.
“Hey, Anon, Uhhh… You came at a really bad time.” Starlight said, her annoyance in her tone as visible as it is on her face.
“CLOSE THE DOOR! BEFORE THEY FIND TRIXIE!” Trixie screeched
“Trixie! Relax! It’s just Anon.” Starlight barked back at her, before turning back to you, pressing her hoof between her eyes as she groans.
“They? Find? What’s going on? What happened to Trixie?” This was worrying. The hell happened to her?
“She became mayor by default, since everypony else jumped ship. THEN she realized she had a ton of responsibilities. She’s been hiding here crying ever since. Wailing that she’d never be able to hang out with me or do another show again.” Starlight said with a tired groan.
Welp, seems she really had zero policies… or anything planned really. “Considering how small the town is, that’s not really true. Even then, can’t she just opt out like you did?”
“I have tried to tell her that, but then she keeps saying that everypony would get angry and run her out of town.” Starlight says
“IT’S TRUE! IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE! THEY’LL ATTACK ME WITH TORCHES, PITCHFORKS, AND ROTTEN FRUIT! I THOUGHT IT’D BE EASY, LIKE SUBJUGATING AN ENTIRE TOWN TO DO MY WHIM, BUT I WAS WROOOONG!” Trixie wailed from deep within the home.
Well, that’s not exactly how it went, but still, if Starlight and, hell, everyone else can jump out of being mayor… “Huh, does she know others before her dropped the job too? I mean, like, without any repercussions?”
“Yeah, I told her WAGH!” Starlight is suddenly cut off as Trixie climbs up from behind her, and rests her head upon Starlight as she looks upon you with tear filled eyes.
“Are you saying, Anon, that nopony is going to get mad if I just quit?” Trixie sniffled as she clung upon Starlight. Starlight herself just stayed silent through her aggravation as it became apparent that Trixie was now actually listening.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying” Heh, you nearly smiled at this. It was cute looking at Trixie ontop of a standing Starlight like that, especially when you noticed the cute mayoral top hat on her head.
“What a relief, and here I thought I’d either have to leave.” Trixie slides off Starlight, quickly wipes her eyes, and tosses the mayor’s hat upwards. The way she tossed it though, caused it to turn inside out, revealing her usual wizard’s hat right before it plops on her head. “Or crush anypony foolish enough to tangle with the Great and Powerful Trixie”
“Yeah... “ Starlight, again, groans “Because that was going to happen. Well… Uh… Thank you, I guess?” Starlight then whispers sharply to herself “Even though I told you that like a million times” She then shifts her eyes to you, and steps aside “Anyway, come on in, Anon. I could use the extra company.”
“Actually, the reason I came here is to invite you guys to a short but most likely memorable little film.” You say as you hazard a grin. You reach into your saddlebag, and pull out two tickets. “I promise the both of you it’ll be worth it.”
“I… Really could use that right now.” Starlight says as she takes one of the tickets and inspects it. Nothing out of the ordinary, until she notices the title “Statue? That’s the title? Doesn’t sound like any movie I ever heard of.”
Trixie approaches you as well, taking a ticket to inspect for herself. “Obviously it’s an artsy type of a film. Not my forte, but Trixie is willing to come if it means Trixie is able to enjoy it with her friends… as long as snacks are bought for Trixie” She says with some snoot in her voice, trying to act above, what she thought, was a boring film.
“Well, it’s a film made by my Dad. The reason I thought of you two is because it deals with him totally humiliating Twilight. I mean, you guys wanna see that, right?” You ask, expecting a double yes.
“Uhhh, not really” Starlight replies, but at the same time, Trixie let’s out a…
“Yes!”
“Wha? Trixie, come on. Don’t you think we’re above that? It’s not worth holding on to an old grudge.” Starlight found Trixie’s answer a little disdainful, she didn’t want to feel like she’d be betraying her reform by going back and hating Twilight.
“Starlight, Starlight, it has nothing to do with grudges. Twilight is still our friend, but you can’t deny that she has this air of pretentiousness and know-it-allery. Would it be so bad to perhaps enjoy watching her have a bad moment? I’m sure it’s nothing too terrible.” Trixie says as she hangs her hoof around Starlight’s neck, giving her a smug grin.
“I dunno… Don’t you both think it’s kind of mean?” Starlight says, hesitant still to take the tickets.
You shrug “I mean, Trixie is right. Besides, I heard Twilight say kite flying was dumb. Off topic, I know, but I was like ‘Man, there she goes, being judgemental again’.” This of course was a lie, but you knew Starlight did love to fly kites when she got the chance.
Starlight’s eyes narrowed as anger flickered on her face. “Hmmmnn, I guess Trixie does have a point. And I’m not just saying that because of what Twilight said. It’s just I’ve been in a bad mood and need a good laugh.”
“Then it’s settled! To the Ponyville theater!” Trixie points forward, until looking dumbfounded about what she just said “...Uh, how do we get there?”
“I doubt it’s even there, Trixie. I’ll go get a cup of water. Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve been to your house, Anon.” Starlight turns around to venture into her kitchen to fetch a glass of water.
“His home? In the Dimension of Chaos? How do we even get there?” Trixie asked, confused about the whole thing.
“Oh, you’ll see. Trust me, Trixie, it’s gonna be cool.” You say with a smirk.
And so, through your usual puddle antics, you lead the two mares through the portal and into your room. Upon entering your room, you hop off your bed to let Starlight through, and then Starlight hopped off to let Trixie fall.
Starlight herself took a look around, and began to feel a little more calm with the change of scenery. “Just like I remember, I thought you were supposed to be chaos based. I would have expected some kind of change by now.”
You shrug as you go over to your alarm clock. “Eh, rather not want to deal with anything crazy when I usually just use this room to sleep and portal through to somewhere. Hey, Starlight, have you seen my alarm clock? I know you have an interest in human tech, and this baby is a bonafide digital clock.”
“Digital clock? Huh, well, it certainly is telling the time like any other clock, But I don’t hear any clicking noises. I assume it doesn’t have any gears.” Starlight said as she approached your dresser, and used her magic to hover over the clock for a closer look. “FM? AM? I mean, I know what AM is… But what is FM?”
You chuckle, feeling rather cool despite the object itself being rather mundage. Impressing ponies with stuff like this always made you feel smug. “It works through electricity and a bunch of doodads and… chips… Erm.” Shit, you actually have no idea how the clock actually works. “Erm… Ahrm, anyway. AM and FM are actually to pick up radio stations for when you want to listen to music or the news. But, well, can’t work unless there are radio stations to transmit that.”
Starlight lets out a light hearted chuckle “So half of it is worthless, and the other half, you don’t even know how it works. It’s cool to have it tell everything by the exact number, but we already have alarm clocks already. Still, I do want to take it apart to see what makes it tick” Starlight snickers at her own pun, then looks around for Trixie “Hey, Trixie, what do you… Trixie?” She was nowhere to be seen.
But she could be heard. Coming from your bed were giddy sounds of happiness and giggles. When you and Starlight took a look, you both could see Trixie snuggling on your blankets, turning left and right on your pillow with glee “Mmmm~, This is the warmest, most snuggliest bed Trixie has ever had the pleasure to lay on! Ohhh~, Starlight! You have to hop on and try this!”
“Erm, I already have. Trixie, are you alright? I know the bed is extra comfy but, you’re acting a little weird here.” Starlight said, confused and surprised by Trixie’s reaction to your enchanted bed.
“Starlight, you need to understand that while my wagon is the most magnificent wagon that has ever existed ever, sleeping in it most of the time makes you kind of wish for something like…” And she hugs and snuggles onto your pillow as she longingly says “thiiiisss~. Anon, Starlight! Come on! We gotta have a quick nap on this thing!”
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Did she just…
You blush quite a bit as your ears fold, that sounded like an amazing idea. You, sandwiched between two beautiful mares on a nice warm bed. Trixie Lulamoon, she truly had some great and powerful ideas.
“Trixie, don’t be silly. If we take a nap now then we’ll miss the show. Besides, don’t you think it’s kind of weird for all of us to sleep on Anon’s bed? Seems a little rude to me.” Or what she actually meant that it was incredibly awkward, she also knew how you’d take it, given she knew the truth.
Trixie turned to the both of you, giving you both bedroom eyes as she laid on her belly, rubbing her right hoof along the top of the bed. “C’mon, it’s just a little nap. Please? It’s sooooo comfy! Hyaaaannn” Trixie rolled on her back, cuddling on the blanket, her tongue out as she enjoyed the soft warmth of the bed.
“Um, I actually agree with Trixie. I mean, you can lay there, Starlight. And Trixie here…” You point to either side of the bed for each of them. “And I can lay in the…” But you are stopped the moment Starlight’s horn glows, her eyes giving you a horrible and threatening glare of death. Indeed, she knew what was up. And she knew you enough to know what you really wanted. “Seat, at the theater, which uhhhh, I agree with Starlight that we need to go to. So, Trixie, if you please…” You say with a shakiness in your tone, sweat coming down your brow. Starlight usually was tolerant of your bad habits, but she really hated when you did or even implied such things.
“Poo, you’re both no fun. Very well, Trixie will comply and follow you to said theater.” Trixie says as she finally stands, and hops off the bed.
“Yeah, it’s down through here. So, all you gotta do to get down the floor door is to-” But you are cut off as you hear Trixie shout out…
“After I see what is behind these blinds! For Trixie is sure…” And when she opens those blinds, those forbidden blinds, she is met with the horrifying sight of a smiling, one eyed, orbular beast. Looking at her as if she was a delicious treat. “...That there is something that will cause Trixie to have to change her sheets for at least three weeks… GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP!” Trixie rushes backwards, opens the floor door, and falls through, yelling as she falls down before she lets out a painful grunt from landing on her head in the living room below. Huh, given she was now nearly out and seeing stars, it made you kind of happy you’ve developed a huge resistance to head blows.
Starlight too looked to the creature both in awe and in fright. “A-Anon, is that? I-is that the old changeling captain you mentioned?! YOU ACTUALLY KEEP HIM RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW?!”
You shrug as you approach the window, nonchalant about the whole thing. “More like he just hangs around because he has nothing better to do. Heck, I attached the Storm King’s living head to his butt to give him somepony to talk to and he still complains.”
“Of course I still complain!” His smile breaking into that of annoyance “I have a world to rule and changelings to corrupt! As for my ‘new’ friend, he’s annoying again! He was crying earlier today, whining about how he’d be like this forever. What a wimp. I say that fury and rage just fuels ambition. AND I’M ALREADY FULL OF IT! SO LET ME IN ALREADY!” He shrieks.
You then point to him “Starlight, meet X-Captain. X-Captain, meet Starlight. I told you about her, y’know, she’s the one who got further than any of you did when it came to defeating Twilight.”
“Huh? Oh, right. Hi!” He suddenly calms down as he waves his tentacles at her, grinning.
Starlight reluctantly grins at him as she waves back “Um, hi?”
“A little meek, are you sure she nearly crushed Twilight?” The X-Captain said, looking rather confused.
“Yep, and she was on her way of bending time and space to finish the job too. Yup, she’s pretty powerful.” You say, still calm, still rather cocky about it.
“A-Anon, what are you…” But you hush Starlight by raising your hoof, before looking back at the X-Captain to await his reaction.
“Time and space, you say. Hmmm, interesting. Yes, quite…” He murmured to himself as he rubbed the underside of his form with a tentacle. Suddenly, his yellow eye turns red with rage as he screams “HOW DARE A PONY COME UP WITH A BETTER PLAN THAN MINE! HOW DARE SHE NEARLY DESTROY EVERYTHING IN ONE FELL SWOOP! THAT’S MY PLAN! THAT’S MY LIFE! HOW DAAAAREEE SHHHHEEE!” The X-Captain was in a pure rage as his tentacles wiggled around violently. He locked his eye onto Starlight, and flew back a few meters. Suddenly, without warning, he let out a mighty war cry as he flew at lightning pace towards the window, smashing his head upon it. However, the only result from that was a defeated whiny moan before falling unconscious. He rammed himself so hard, he conked out.
“Finally! Sheesh! Been waiting for him to shut up all day. Guys like me, you know, the guy with REAL brains, needs some quiet to plot out his plans.” Said the Storm King, talking from the backside of the fallen beholder-esque creature.
“Don’t think too hard, or else you’ll pop yourself like a pimple” You say with a snicker.
“Why you little-” But the Storm King is unable to let his voice be heard as you close the blinds, and let out an accomplished sigh.
“Ahh, that was fun. You have fun, Starlight?” You look to her with a cocky grin. At this point, you considered this subtle payback for her not letting you get your cuddle on.
“Yeah… Fun…” Starlight said, with worry and confusion in her tone as her right eye twitched from the ridiculousness that she witnessed. “I-I mean, I’m not going to have nightmares about that. But, erm… I don’t… I, umm… I don’t know what to even consider that, and may need a therapy session or two to figure that all out.”
“Probably… Anyway, we should go check on Trixie before she goes exploring the house.” You mention as you head to the floor door. “You remember how to get down these steps, right?”
“Yeah, but… What’s wrong with the rest of the house?” Starlight asks, afraid of what your answer could be.
“Well, one room I think is a flooded aquarium. And I think Discord may have or may have not taken out this train fire that started a while back. Could be bad if she stepped into it” You mention, nonchalantly
“...What do you mean ‘a while back’ “ Again, Starlight asks with a worried tone
You shrug “Um, around the time I got here, I think.”
Starlight’s eyes went wide as her voice became ever so fearful “Y-yeah, l-let’s go make sure she hasn’t wandered off. Ahaha... ha.”
Trixie however, was still on the ground, dazed from her fall. You, and especially Starlight, were able to descend from the stairs with ease, relieved to see Trixie still in one piece. “Trixie, you alright? Um, should have warned you about the whole invisible stairs thing. It’s all in the mind and-” But you are interrupted when she suddenly gets up, and starts to shake you in the air with her magic.
“WHY WOULD YOU KEEP A PET LIKE THAT?! HOW DO YOU EVEN FEED IT?! WHY WOULD YOU LIVE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?!” Then she notices the stairs in the corner of the room “WHY DO YOU HAVE STAIRS THAT LEAD TO NOWHERE?! WHY WOULDN’T IT GO UP TO YOUR ROOM?! WHY, ANON, WHYYYYYYY! THIS IS A MAD HOUSE! A MAD HOUSE!” Trixie bellowed in pure fear as she shook you about.
“Trixie! Trixie, calm down!” Starlight used her magic to pull you away from Trixie’s grip. “This is Discord’s house, remember? Nothing is supposed to make sense. You’re just going to stress yourself out if you keep panicking like this”
“Starlight! We’re at the mercy of this home! How do we even get out of here?! Where even is the theater?!” Trixie said frantically as she tries to stay in the center of the room, looking around for anything hazardous that might strike.
“Yeah… Anon, where is the theater? Is it down over there? Where that hallway of doors are?” Starlight asks as she gently puts you down, and dusts you off with her magic. She then leans in and whispers “Kinda need to know as soon as possible before Trixie loses it.”
“Uh, whuh? Ugh” You shook your head to get your senses in order. Christ, Trixie can shake damn hard. “O-oh, yeah, the theater is down there.” You point to the trap door next to Trixie “In the basement.”
“The basement? As in…” Trixie looks over beside herself, and sees the trap door. She gulps, and points to it before carefully lifting the door. Her eyes then go wide when she sees a set of stairs heading down into a cavern below. Though it wasn’t dark like it usually was, as a cavalcade of lights shone through the threshold. You could even hear the sound of distant music coming from below. “Wait, it sounds like there's a show going on down there. Hmmm…” Trixie began to calm herself as the way down seemed welcoming to her, as if she could see a place welcoming to her. “Well, it doesn’t seem that bad, especially when compared to what you have floating outside your window. Erm…” She then becomes a little nervous as she thinks about her next words “There’s not going to be any crazy surprises down there, right?”
You shake your head “Probably not. When it comes to Twilight, Dad wouldn’t waste any time trying to get to the main event. So, yeah, should be ok to go down.”
“Alright then...Ahrm.” Trixie then looks to Starlight, and gives her a meek smile “C-could you?”
Starlight nods, giving Trixie a warm smile as she steps through the threshold of the door and down into the depths below “Don’t worry, Trixie, I’ll take point.”
“A-ah, thank you, Starlight. And, Anon, although Trixie feels she can handle it on her own anyway… Erm…” She then shoots you a meek smile as well “Would it be too much trouble to cover my rear?”
Heh, of course. “It’d be an honor, oh Great and Powerful Trixie” Not only did you feel those words would help her mood, but it also meant you could check out her butt for a bit.
Trixie, hearing those words, couldn’t help but put on an arrogant grin. “Thank you for the kind words, Anon. It’s good to know you recognize my true power. Now please, follow Trixie.” And so, Trixie went down, following Starlight.
As the three of you went down, you simply could not shift your focus away from Trixie’s rear. It looked pretty soft and flexible to her hind legs. Oh, so juicy… Dammit! Why is everypony so damn sexy! How is anyone supposed to be monogamous when everyone is so damn hot!
However, your thoughts, and indeed everyone’s thoughts fade away once you reach the bottom. Standing before you all was a modern looking grand theater that looked chinese by design. Huge golden Discord statues sat side by side near a golden arch entrance while discordant music filled the air. Different colored lights shot out of every which way from the building itself as a red carpet was laid out to you all, from the stairway to the doors that lead inside. “Oh, wow, he really went all out.”
“Amazing! I wasn’t expecting this. I gotta hand it to Discord, he can pull off some pretty amazing visuals when he wants to.” Starlight said, stunned by how amazing everything looked.
“Finally, something normal, if quite stunning and… Hmmm?” Trixie looks to her right to see an odd wagon she’s never seen before. Sleek, black, modern, and out of this world. “What kind of wagon is this?” Trixie starts to approach it, noticing it didn’t really seem able to lug things around or be lived in “Is this one of those fancy wagons for rich ponies to be picked up in? It’s really weird looking.”
When you look to see what caught her eye, you immediately feel a sense of shock when jolts you ahead of Trixie to stop her from getting any closer “Trixie, wait! Don’t worry about this wagon, alright? It’s off limits to everypony but me, I’ve been taking care of it and it means a lot to me.” Of course, this wagon actually happened to be Chrysalis’s car, a car you have kept in perfect condition since she left. You didn’t really have to, but the car symbolized the one time you and her worked together to save the world, even if this wasn’t the world you both ended up saving.
Though, Trixie’s next action came to an even bigger shock to you than her approach to the car “I see. Well, I can totally understand that actually. A wagon can be like a friend, a home, and family all at once.” Trixie gives you a gentle headpat as her words became softer and more sincere “It also looks really unique, I can see why you take care of it so well. And, well… now that things are more calm. I kind of want to apologize for how I was acting earlier, the situation just slipped away from my hooves for a moment. A moment I hope nopony but the three of us will ever know about.”
Trixie, wow, you did not expect her to respect your wishes like that. It caught you so off guard that you couldn’t be cocky about how she didn’t want others to know how she got scared of your house. “Yeah, it’s no problem. Thanks, Trixie. Anyway, let’s get heading along inside, we got a show to see, and I want to see what it looks like inside. Dad really seemed to want to wow us with this stuff.”
“I noticed, I almost want to ask if he could set something up for me and Starlight. Just Imagine it. Lights, blaring sounds, fireworks, a grand stage, adoring crowds, a beautiful venue, and the most important piece of them all! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!” Trixie loses herself to her grand thoughts, and raises herself up on her hind legs to announce her final words.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Trixie. Knowing Discord, there’d probably be some horrible trick to it. I have to admit though…” Starlight puts her hoof on one of the Discord statues, and gives it a rub. It felt like real high quality gold to her. “If he could keep it straight, it would be one heck of a show.”
“It wouldn’t be a trick, I think. More like it’d be all about him. If it’s one thing Dad likes just as much as his tricks is himself. Only thing that trumps that is Aunt Fluttershy and myself… Mostly myself. Anyway, let’s head on inside. I wanna see if the inside matches the outside.” You say as you open the large doors to the inner sanctum to the theater.
And inside was quite glorious as well. The main lobby had fountains on either side, with giant marble statues of Discord that spewed water from their mouths. Banners with the large letter D hung in rows leading deeper into the lobby. The carpeting was soft, and almost comfortable enough to sleep on. And movie posters like “Gone with the chaos” , “Me, Myself, and More of Me”, “Grumpy Old Draconequus”, and “My Little Discord: Disorder is Hilarious” plastered the walls. There was a single hallway that led deeper into the theater, but it was blocked by velvet rope. Beside the rope was Discord himself, in a red suit, behind a ticket booth.
“Ok, all this set up just to show off him tripping up Twilight? Heh…” Starlight let out an impressed little giggle “I kind of feel honored to be here, he didn’t have to do all this for us.”
“Yeah, if he’s doing all this then he really REALLY wants us to enjoy the show. He’s gotta have something really good for a set up like this” Really, it could have just been a couple of seats and some popcorn. It was obvious he had something big up his sleeve. What the fuck did he do to Twilight to have Rarity bring her to the spa? Or suspect you for ‘something’ for that matter.
“Well, what are we waiting for then? Let’s get go- Hmm? Mmmngh!” Trixie, obviously just wanting to get to the main event, found herself unable to lift the velvet rope. “Stupid thing, why can’t I lift it?”
“Ahrm…” Discord brought his talons to his mouth as he coughed. “Tickets please… No tickets, no access. That is the rule of this establishment.”
Simple enough, obviously Discord being Discord. So all you have to do is turn in the tickets and it’ll be fine. You had yours, so you walk up to the booth, and slide it over “Here, Dad. Want to do everything all classy and official, huh? What are we in for?”
Discord started to sweat as he murmured in fear “Oh no, it’s the boss’ kid. He’ll fire me if I screw this up. Ahrm…” He suddenly calms himself as he smiles awkwardly at you “Ah, erm. Well, you must have me confused for somepony else, clearly superior pony child. As for what is in store…” He snaps his talons, raising the velvet rope. “Come in, and see.”
“Superior wha?” Did he just call you a superior pony child? Well, you were superior, but wut? He wouldn’t ever say that straight out unless he felt terrible about something, or he was in a caring mood. Unless… Ooohhhh, this is part of the act. Haha, probably another Discord at the concession stand, and the manager is your Discord. He really IS going all out then. Best no to spoil it for him.“Yes, right. Thank you, I’ll do that.” You wink at him, but all he does is give you nod. You look back at the girls as you pass the velvet rope “Just give him your tickets, girls. And you can step through. ”
“Why can’t we just step through now? Seems kind of silly just to give him the ticket when we were invited.” Trixie says. She then raises her head high, and snorts from her nose as she speaks arrogantly. “Considering how important I am, I should just be let through. I am a mayor after all.”
“Oh? So you DO want to be the mayor then?” Starlight gives her a slick grin as she passes her ticket to Discord. “Or did you forget the responsibilities of being a mayor again.”
Trixie suddenly buckled to those words, then turned her head with a “Hmph” as she pulled out her ticket. “I-It’s not that, it’s just that this place gives off this feeling of importance and I… Erm, just wanted to feel like a V.I.P., that’s all” She slides her ticket over, and passes by the velvet rope. “I have been doing my shows for a very long time, and I guess I just wanted to feel important. Especially in a grand place like this.”
Starlight smiled at her friend, and gave her a gentle nuzzle of her head. “I know, you just got caught up in how nice everything is. Just relax, Trixie, you’ll have your day, and I’ll be right there with you. For now, let’s just enjoy the night and watch the movie. We came as Anon’s guests, so we should act more like it.”
“Right… Right… Can’t let myself get caught up in the glitz and glamor. Ok, I’m calm. I apologize, Anon, if I made you feel uncomfortable at all.” Trixie said, as she finally calmed herself. You couldn’t blame her for acting like that. She must have heard you being called ‘superior’, and wanted to feel the same way.
“It’s alright, no problem. You just got overwhelmed by this place. Heh, but if you’re still feeling tense, then I know a way to calm you down.” As you three walked down to yet another lobby, you could see a set of double doors leading to the viewing room. And just before it, was a gigantic concession stand filled with popcorn, drinks, candy, snacks, chips, and another Discord, garbed in simpler clothing and a popcorn hat, standing behind the counter. “Snacks! Oh… OH WAIT, IS THAT!?” Imported soda… From Earth. Oohhhh shit, Discord, you just keep on rocking. “Pepsi! Dr. Pepper!” in fact, there were tons of snacks from earth as well. Hot diggity damn! You couldn’t help but rush over to the concession stand and press your face at the glass.
“Heya Brah, see somethin’ ya like?” Discord said, in a rather unconvincing surfer accent.
You didn’t care anymore, you wanted a smorgasbord of unhealthy eats. “Yeah! Can I get the largest cup of Pepsi you got? Huge tub of popcorn! Some of that hershey’s chocolate! Oh, oh! Elephant ears, Gimme one of them! and that little box of gobstoppers!”
“Sure thing, dude, lemme get it all rung up for you. Lesse…” Discord said as he started to tap at his cash register.
“Wow, so a lot of this is from your dimension, huh? Seeing how excited you are… Um…” Starlight gave a rub of her tummy, as if she was winding her weight “ I guess I’ll make the same order.”
“Coolios, I’ll just add that up. What about you, Mint Fresh?” Discord asked as he continued to press keys into the cash register.
“Mint Fresh?” Trixie looked rather insulted to be called by ANY name rather than her own, but her feelings quickly faded when she realized she was about to mouth off to Discord. So she caught herself, calmed down, and made her order “Trixie will just have some popcorn and a drink. Equestrian-Cola, if you don’t mind”
“Rightyo, Mintz. Ahm, Hmm, Hrmmm…” And finally, the price for everything pops up, and… There was no fucking way he was serious “Three thousand bits, my dude. And that’s with the family discount.”
“You can’t be serious. C’mon, Discord, you’re really going to make us pay?” Ok, maybe he was going a tad too far. That was a huge fucking number.
“Sorry brah, but imported stuff costs more than my skateboards. You’re the boss’ kid n’ all, so ya get the discount. Them the rules, so ya can either take it or order the inhouse stuff.” Discord said as he leaned his shoulder onto the counter, placing his head on his paw as he awaited your answer.
You went sifting through your bag, counting your bits. Sadly, you actually didn’t have enough, nor did you have any charges in your horn to produce your own food. “I only have two thousand” Your ears folded as you looked down, disheartened at the fact you wouldn’t be able to enjoy your treats.
“Ok, Discord. I get this is part of your pretend game, or whatever. But don’t you think you’re going too far? Look at Anon, he clearly was excited to to indulge what you clearly brought over just for him and us to enjoy. Why make him pay for it? Heck, you’re wasting our time by keeping us here. Don’t you want us to see the big movie?” Starlight stepped up to the plate for you, trying to reason with Discord’s ridiculous ploy.
“Sorry, babe, bossman would kill me if he found out I sold his stuff at anything lower than that. Either take it up with him or change the order.” Discord said as he took a look at his talons, inspecting them for dirt.
“Discord! Stop fooling around! You don’t have to be a j-huh?” Starlight is cut off, as Trixie gently taps at her back as she steps in front of the concession stand to face Discord.
“Excuse me, you poor excuse of a… whatever you’re supposed to be. But we are the customers, aren’t we? As in, you do whatever we tell you to do because we are ALWAYS right. Which means give us the food, or else.” Trixie was being demanding. But her words seemed confusing not only to you, but to Starlight as well. Who did she think she was talking to?
“Look Pepz Mint, you’re only a customer if you buy something. So that’s on you. You can’t touch me, I got job security.” Discord said as he crossed his arms, looking down at her with a dismissive look.
“First of all, the name is Trixie, the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie. Second, you say your ‘bossman’ would get upset if you undersell us your interdimensional food. And yet…” She points directly at Discord, with a loud booming voice “TRIXIE HAS WITNESSED YOU EATING SAID FOOD DURING YOUR BREAK!”
“W-wha?! N-no you haven’t, you weren’t even here to see me eat that box of Nerds!” Discord said as he pointed back at her, angrily.
“Aha! Trixie may have not actually witness you do that, but the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS MADE YOU ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE! BOW TO TRIXIE! FOR YOU HAVE LOST! PREPARE TO BE REPORTED!” Trixie yelled, feeling triumphant that she had defeated Discord. But then she calmed down, and gave him a slick smile “Unless you have something to appease us.”
Discord raised a talon at first to say something, but then lowered it when he realized he didn’t have a counter. “A-Ahm. Erm… Look dude and dudettes, it’d be radical if you didn’t mention any of this to the bossman, ok? I’ll uh, just pay for it myself here…” Discord says as he opens the cash register, and fills it with his own bits. “And erm… Get your order ready, I’ll even throw in the extra to have it delivered to you before the movie starts. Erm, we square?” Discord said, shaking as he began to sweat.
“We’re square. But don’t you dare cheap out on the butter, or you shall feel Trixie’s wrath!” Trixie threatened, gave Discord a dark look, and then started to make her way off towards the door to the movie room. “C’mon you two, Trixie does not want to miss a second of Twilight’s humiliating defeat.”
You and Starlight were just silent, blinking in shock and confusion. What in the fuck?
“What just happened? Did Trixie… Just beat my Dad?” H-how?! That was amazing, but… wut?
“I t-think she more, outperformed him? I uh… I don’t know whether to be impressed or… scared.” Starlight really was impressed, and yet confused by what happened. Though, perhaps even quicker than you have realized, she managed to figure out that Trixie had, in fact, outperformed Discord. While Trixie isn’t an actor, she still has to play a role and make a show out of it. “Though, now that I think about it. Discord was playing his part to a ridiculous T, and yet she really did outperform him anyway. She played the part of an actual disgruntled moviegoer and got the upper hoof. I gotta applaud her for that, that was really nice of her to do for us.” Starlight slowly began to smile as she tapped her hoof on the ground.
“Yeah, I didn’t expect that. I gotta remember to do something nice for her later. Bravo, Trixie.”
Everything was set up. You were all at your seats, with the snacks brought to all of you as promised. The room itself was rather similar to the one you created for you and Chrysalis for ‘Starship Troopers’, but with a ceiling painting of Discord waving to the audience below. The three of you had chosen to sit in the middle of the room itself so you wouldn’t be too far or too close to the screen. You yourself couldn’t help but stuff your face while Starlight patiently waited for the movie to begin. Trixie on the other hand, was just laying back with a smirk on her face, something Starlight took notice of. “Trixie, you were really amazing back there. Considering how you were up in Anon’s room, I really didn’t expect that from you. How’d you know Discord would give in like that? Was it really just a performance thing?”
Trixie chortled “That’s exactly what it is. I mean… Well... “ At that moment, Trixie’s arrogance lightened up as she looked to the two of you with a gentle smile “I knew he was putting on a show, given how he was at the booth and… well, this entire place, that part was obvious. As for why I decided to step up and outdo his poor acting was because… Because... “ Trixie sighed as her smile became brighter, and more cheerful “He was upsetting my friends, and I couldn’t let that slide. What the hay was with him anyway? Isn’t he supposed to… I don’t know… care about his family and friends?”
“Dad REALLY likes to play the parts he takes on, doubly so if he is using his cloning magic. I can almost guarantee that whatever Discord owns this place would have taken offense too. It’s just how it is.” You say as you take a sip of soda
“Seems like it, the one at the ticket booth seemed pretty worried when it came to you. I guess Discord is just being a gigantic goof. So when does the movie start? Only thing I see on the screen is Discord’s head in black and white” Starlight asked, taking a gentle nibble of a single popcorn puff.
“Well, I’d have thought he’d have previews and such prepped. you know, since he’s going all the way. Either we missed them or he just wants to get to the good stuff.” You mention. It’d be sad if there were no previews, you kind of want to see Discord acting parts in movies you know you have at least seen. Ah well…
“Well, get on with it then. I came here to see Twilight get utterly humiliated, not watch previews.” Trixie said as she grew impatient. And just like that, the lights began to dim as the screen changed, and Discord’s voice started to fill the room.
The screen showed a gigantic X on both cell phones and unicorn horns. “Thank you for choosing the Chaos Theater for your viewing pleasure. Please respect your fellow movie goers by shutting off your cell phones and magical horns, if you please.”
“Cell phones? What are those?” Trixie asked, confused. “They kind of look like one of those taser things.”
“I can explain that. It’s from my world, used to be able to talk to others from almost any distance. But they can be kind of noisy when they ring or when you are talking through them.” You explain. Trixie already knew as well that you were from another dimension. Being a friend of Starlight and yourself kind of meant it’d be ok to let her be in the know.
“Wow, I could use one those. “ Trixie giggled to herself “I bet I could spook Twilight by talking to her while she slept.”
“Actually… you and Twilight would have to have one to be able to do that. It’s like the intercoms and walkie talkies we use in Equestria, just not so close range.” You tell her
“...Mnnn…” Trixie then immediately lost interest, and slumped in her seat “So is the movie starting or not?”
The screen changed to Discord roaring like a lion, within a circle marked ‘Discord Productions presents’. Starlight giggled at Trixie’s annoyance as she began to relax. “I think it is. Well, I’m ready. Let’s see if the movie is as good as all this set up.” Starlight said as she popped a gobstopper. She let out a soft moan as she looked over to you. “Anon, this is pretty good. Is it true it lasts forever?”
You shake your head “Nah, sadly the everlasting part is false advertising.”
“Oh… Ok then.” Starlight then quickly popped half the box in her mouth, and started to gently suck. It then became apparent to you that she REALLY liked the taste.
“You alright there, Starlight?” You say as you notice the screen change to show a loudspeaker that said ‘presented in super realistic and ‘Hi-Def-ening’ quality’. Oh shit...
Even then, she started to pop a few more as her cheeks began to puff up with the candy “Mhmm, ahm pewfewctwy mfine mmm”
“Ok, because the screen just had a pun in it and OH NO!” You cover your ears as the sound suddenly becomes ultra loud for a moment. So loud, glass could be heard shattering around the room.
While Trixie got the same idea you did, Starlight was caught off guard, falling backwards off her seat as all the gobstoppers flew out her mouth and onto her and her mane. When the screen went dim again, things quieted down.
“Starlight?” You said when you looked back to see if she was ok. But she wasn’t, she was heavily annoyed as her mane frazzled every which way. Her fur and mane was also littered with gobstoppers and saliva.
Starlight slowly began to climb back on her chair as she groaned “That was uncalled for…”
But both you and Trixie let out a little giggle as Starlight did her best to straighten her mane. “C’mon Starlight, it’s Discord, remember? You must always be on your hooves” Trixie said, trying to hold back another little giggle.
“Yeah yeah…” Starlight was now pretty damn grumpy, and yet she still popped a few gobstoppers in her mouth, and began to gently suck.
“Starlight, c’mon, Trixie is right.” You say, hiding your smile “besides, the movie is about to start now, don’t let it ruin your mood. If it’ll make you feel better, I can make you more boxes of gobstoppers when I get the chance, You look like you’re pretty addicted to them.”
“Shush… I’m fine, and I’m not addicted to them…” She then shifted her eyes left and right, then whispered “But, if you could get me one that’s actually everlasting, I wouldn’t mind… I’m just saying.”
“Sure thing” Heh, adorable.
The movie finally began, with Discord standing in a spotlight in an empty void, microphone in hand. “Hello Everypony, Anon, and welcome to the show! Now, I don’t want to take too much time getting to the good stuff, but we all know a movie never ever starts at the climax. So, to get everypony in the mood, we’ll be looking through the eyes of Princess Twilight Sparkle herself. Everything you see will be in her perspective, so try not to get confused. Really, it’s the only way to get the best reaction out of all of you. So sit back, relax, enjoy the snacks, and prepare to laugh!” Discord then started rubbing under his chin as the spotlight began to dim “Hm, that almost rhymed, perhaps I can do something with that later.”
And so, the movie opened up in the cutie map room…
“Spike, I just don’t know. You don’t find anything suspicious about that exam or Chancellor Neighsay doing a one eighty like that?” You said, sitting at your chair in front of the cutie map as you nervously tap your hooves on the map itself.
Your trusty assistant, Spike, just shrugged, calm about the whole situation. “I mean, Princess Celestia would have totally told us if something went wrong with that exam. But she didn’t, so there’s nothing to worry about as long as Anon and Scootaloo are ok. Besides, everypony thought it was totally rad! I think it was just a stunt to rile up the crowd. As for Neighsay, the guy probably just realized how important your school really is. It’s not like you’re gonna screw up or anything. You’re Twilight Sparkle, you wrote the book on friendship, literally! What’s he gonna do? Get somepony to spy on some of your future students just to find out one of them isn’t on the up and up? Pfft, c’mon, that’s not gonna happen. One, everycreature that’s coming is doing it to learn about friendship, which has nothing evil about it. Two, even if he did manage to get somepony to do it, it’d probably be some total dunce who wouldn’t know anything about anything. C’mon Twilight, you’ve had a rough day, why don’t you just take a nap and relax? You won’t be able to focus on opening up that school if you’re all tense like this.”
“I don’t know, I really should go and make some final checks.” You said, feeling tense about the quality of your plans for the school.
“C’mon, one nap ain’t gonna do anything to your plans. Besides, how are you supposed to focus when you’re worried about that weenie, Neighsay? C’mon Twilight, it’ll be ok, I promise.” Spike assures you, patting your back to help release your tenseness.
You sigh, and slowly begin to stand “Maybe you’re right, Spike. I just need a nap, that’s all. Then I’ll be all ready to go” You take a stretch, and try to put on a more positive and determined face.
“That’s the spirit, Twilight! C’mon, I’ll even take a nap with you so we’ll both be ready when we wake up.”
And with that, you and Spike made your way up the stairs to your room. You just had to get Neighsay out of your head, he had no reason to do anything suspicious behind your back. And Anon and Scootaloo were ok, so it really wasn’t anything to worry about. When you see your bedroom doors, you let out a sigh of relief and begin to open them. “Thanks, Spike, really. If I put any more thought into all this, I think I might have Poppedagha!? Ow!” When you open the door, and step forward, you find yourself knocking your head onto something hard and falling back on your butt. “Hey! What gives?” And when you look up, you see a peculiar looking purple circle of some kind. It had two legs going down, and some kind of raised lever of some sort, colored in other types of purple. The main circle itself had a familiar two holes coming out of it. “What in the hay is that?” You say as you begin to stand.
“Dunno, wasn’t there before. Did you order anything, Twilight?” Spike asked, looking at with, confused about it’s presence.
“No… I don’t even… What’s it doing?” Suddenly, out of nowhere, a brown substance started to come out of it’s upper hole. You carefully go over to the brown sludge is was dropping, and lower your head to give it a sniff “Chocolate? Hmmm… two kinds of chocolate actually…” You carefully dip your hoof into it and get a glob, and then upon tasting it… “It’s definitely chocolate. Huh… It must be some kind of chocolate dispenser. I’ve never seen anything like it before, do you think Rarity sent it over? Or maybe it was Pinkie Pie, she does love sharing sweets. I kinda wish it’d stop making chocolate though, it’s getting all over the floor.”
“I dunno, something seems really off about it.” Spike stepped inside the room, looking upon what this thing may have been. As for you, you just stare at the other hole, what was that one for? Then suddenly, Spike started to speak out in a timid tone “Uhhhh, Twilight? This is… a statue.”
“A statue that dispenses...Wha!” Suddenly, a yellow liquid started spewing onto your face from the other hole. You haphazardly open your mouth to taste it, then let out a gentle moan when you realize it’s a really tasty and sweet lemonade “Mmm! It also makes lemonade, Spike! And it’s actually kind of tasty, you should try it. Definitely has to be Pinkie Pie.”
“T-Twilight, I don’t think it’s her… I think you should come take a look.” Spike really sounded shocked for some reason, what was troubling him?
You decide to enter your room, and notice that from the side, it really was some sort of statue. A four legged statue in the shape of…. Wait… “Spike?” When you got to the front, you saw that the statue bore a gigantic resemblance to you. However, it looked shocked, frightened, and as if it was trying to get up from a seat. It’s pupils were thin, and it’s wings were spread out frantically. That was… “Is that, me?”
Spike nodded “Y-yeah, and erm… The side we were looking at…”
“The side we were looking at? What does…” And that’s when it hit you. Your pupils shrank to the size of peas as your fur became pale. The yellow liquid coming out of that hole… And as you look at your brown stained hoof, the chocolate was… That was all… This was… This statue was when you thought Anon and Scootaloo were in danger… But you didn’t let loose anything… maybe a little of… but… no… NO! WHAT YOU WERE TASTING WAS!... “DSFDFDFSADSAAGROOOOOSSSDAFSAD” You couldn’t handle it, you fell over, gasping, wheezing, and spitting. “Spike! Spike! H-help... “ You coughed weakly “I can’t…”
“W-woah, hold on Twilight, you said it tasted like chocolate, didn’t you? And lemonade? Erm…” Spike quickly went to the other side to do something out of your sight.
“S-spike… w-what are you doing?” You said, feeling the horrid embrace of what you could only guess was death.
“Um, Twilight. It really is just chocolate and lemonade. It’s really tasty too, actually. I-I know it’s kind of gross, given what the statue is, but I don’t think it is what you think it is. I do think Discord did this though. Oh wait, no, it was him, there’s an inscription here: To Twilight, to use as the centerpiece of your school, your biggest fan, Discord. Wow, gotta say, Discord usually doesn’t do anything this vulgar. Wonder what made him do it.”
You slowly stood up, using your magic to quickly bring every toothbrush and toothpaste imaginable to you. But in your haste, you screw up, and get slammed by a sudden army of mint and scrub. “Gyah!”
Spike ran back to you, and quickly swatted the toothbrushes and toothpaste dispensers away from your mouth. “Twilight, you ok?”
You gargled, spit, then groaned. You felt fresh now, but your face felt like it was hit by a huge wagon. “...mnnn”
“W-well, at least you smell minty fresh. Heheh… But seriously, um. I can tell you’re super upset right now. Um, but don’t worry, I’ll take care of the statue myself. And uh, talk to Discord next time I see him.” Spike, as he said this, looked a little eager to be alone with the statue. He wasn’t gonna eat from it, was he?! As for the statue itself…
You slowly stood up, and wiped at your mouth one more time. “Don’t bother, he won’t listen. Besides, you’re right, it is weird for him to pull off something so… yugh… I think somepony else may have given him the idea.”
“Somepony else? You don’t mean, Anon, do you?” Spike asked, feeling that is definitely what you meant.
“I… mnnn…” Did you really just want to outright blame him like that? Was this his way of celebrating? Was he mad at you again? Or was it really just Discord, who obviously did have some influence from Anon? “I dunno, I’m tired… I’m gonna take a na-GYAH!” Suddenly, the statue started to ‘cry’ without movement, shooting out creamy tasting tears from its eyes. Creamy or not, you once again felt disgusted and full of rage. “THAT’S IT!” You grab the statue with your magic, and throw it through the window and into the lake outside.
“Noooo!” Spike ran to the window and held his arm out “I-I could have made a bunch of delicious chocolate gem cake out of that… wait.” He then turned to you, confused “Isn’t that eventually gonna make the lake into a chocolatey lemonade?
Your eyes twitched as every fiber of your being shook in rage. You ran over to the window as Spike jumped to the side. Using your magic, you pull up the statue right as it hits the water and hurl it upwards with all your might into the sky. You then blast it into a thousand pieces with a powerful bolt of anger fueled magic. “There, it’s gone forever, nothing to worry about.”
“Y-yep, that statue is pretty gone. Um, I think it sent some chocolate and lemonade every which way though.” Spike noted as he saw the explosion.
“Doesn’t matter, everypony can get over a little GYAH!” And with that, some of the choclatey blast fell back and smacked into your face. Your anger had already piqued, so you just felt a sense of a cold and deathly calm as you laid down on the floor “Spike, I’m going to take a nap now. Please have everything cleaned up before I wake up”
“Um, Twilight what about the chocolate on your face.” Spike asked
You were too stressed out and nerve wracked to really make an attempt at cleaning it off “I’ll take a shower later…”
“Yeah, but Twilight, that chocolate is just gonna harden up and-”
“I’LL TAKE A SHOWER LATER!” You shout, before losing all your will, causing you to fall unconscious on the floor.
Spike just sighed, put his claws to his hips, and shook his head. “Good going there, Discord. Sheesh… Well, better get this cleaned up. Gotta find a way to clean Twilight’s face too without disturbing her. Poor Twilight, she didn’t deserve this. Her and the statue version of her. So many chocolate gem cakes…”
The movie was over, and the lights in the room began to brighten up as a loud cackling boomed throughout the room.
“Gyahahaha! H-Help! I can’t! I’m going to fall over! HAHAHAHA! THAT WAS BEYOND THE BEST! HYHAHAHA!” Trixie was in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, twisting left and right in merriment from what she just witnessed “ENCORE! HAHAHA! ENCORE!”
You did have a few laughs yourself, that was really surprising to see out of Discord. No wonder Twilight was suspicious of you, that was a really out of character prank from him. Still, seeing Twilight put in her place was always worth a laugh and she didn’t come out on top throughout the whole thing, a rare thing for Discord to accomplish from start to finish. “Man, that was pretty worth it, right Starlight… Starlight?” When you look over, you could see her hooves to her mouth. Did she not like it? Or worse, did she think it was too much? “Starlight, you alright?”
She was quivering in her seat, mumbling, her eyes watering “A-Anon, I feel really bad… But I also feel like laughing, which would make me feel worse. I-I…” Oh, she was trying to hold it in.
Trixie had fallen to the floor at this point, trying to regain her composure. She was still having a few laughing fits, but not as strong as before. As for Starlight, you get the sneaky idea of just reaching over with your hoof and giving the side of her belly a little tickle, just enough to get her going. Starlight’s own composure cracks as she starts laughing “Hahaha! Nahahat fairahaha! Finehehe! It was hilarhahahaious! I-I hahahehe… mmmm…. Okhehe, I’ve never seen anything like thahat, it was pretty funny…” But unlike Trixie, she regained her composure when some guilt hit her from just enjoying the moment that much. “But she seemed to be really stressed as is. I dunno, maybe she could use some extra help, especially with that school. If she’s that stressed now, handling a whole school will cause her mane to fall out.”
“Whahait, wait… How is that a bad thing?” Trixie’s laughter stops upon hearing that, confused as to why Starlight would feel that much for Twilight. “It seemed to me like she deserved it. I mean, she accused Anon of doing that whole thing, just outright blamed him. That’s not right.”
“C’mon, Trixie, don’t be like that. We’re friends with her, remember? Besides, that is something I’d kind of expect out of Anon rather than Discord. Either way, everypony had fun, but I think Twilight could use a little extra support given how stressed she is. I’ll see about paying a visit to Ponyville when the school opens up, see if I can help out.” Starlight said, as she started to use her magic to gather her snacks into a packed floating entity.
“I dunno about that. I wanted to try to be a professor there, since I’m awesome at friendship. But the best I got from that is a week break at the start and having to survive a whole year through her school before I can actually start teaching myself. I don’t think she’s really keen on having anypony else help out, aside from her close friends.” You explain to Starlight, feeling sure Twilight would refuse her help.
She just shrugs to your words “You never know. Besides, it’s not like I need to take a teaching role. Just something that can help lift the load off the others.”
“But Starlight, if you do get a job there, or whatever… Then what about me?” Trixie’s jovial mood drops as she looks upon Starlight with glistening sad eyes “What about Trixie? I’d be alone…”
Starlight rolls her eyes, and tells her calmly “Trixie, your house is mobile… You could just bring it with you so we wouldn’t be apart.”
“...Oh.” Trixie just looked expressionless as her eyes blinked “Right… Well then... “ Trixie started to yawn, and began to stretch herself “Trixie has had a wonderful time, but she would like to go now and get some sleep.”
“Yeah, it’s probably pretty late at this point. Still, have to admit, this all was still pretty entertaining. I also got to look into whoever that Neighsay guy is, he sounds like trouble.” Starlight noted to herself as she looked down at you “Anyway, thanks Anon, and thank Discord for me when you see him.”
“I will, he probably already heard all the praise and laughter already, so he should be good. C’mon, I’ll take you girls to the portal door.”
With that, you lead both mares back to your room… Almost. It actually took nearly ten minutes to get Trixie used to the idea of using the gravity stairs, something even then, she had no grasp on. Starlight had to use her magic to hoist her up to your room. Something she deemed as “unnecessary” as she arrogantly felt the next try would have been successful. After that however, you said goodbye to the two mares, and promised to see them soon. Ugh, but in the back of your mind, you knew Starlight getting involved might be trouble. Should you have mentioned that you knew Neighsay? Nah, probably not a great idea.
“Wonderful performance, wouldn’t you agree?” You hear Discord’s voice from behind. When you turn around, you see him with a small golden award of himself as he sat at a director’s chair, proud of himself. “It got me a bedlam award! For best picture, of course.”
You chuckled at him “Gotta admit, it was top notch. Good work, Discord.”
“Well, masterful work really. And it’s all thanks to you, the style of prank was directly based off something you would have done had you been more inclined to pull off a dastardly deed or two.” Discord tells you as he starts to shove the statue up his nose “There we go, nice and safe.”
“So that’s why it was so gross. I thought it may have had something to do with that, just the same, it was pretty damn funny. But you’ll probably have to lay off Twilight for awhile, if only not to overdo it.” You caution him as you jump onto your bed and roll about a little.
“Oh trust me, I had my thirst for fun quenched with that one, should keep me going for awhile. Ah, but Anon, on to business. Your wedding is approaching soon and…” Discord stands up, and shoots fireworks from the tips of his paws and talons “We need to make sure your big scene is magical! So here’s what I’m thinking.” Discord starts to lead the lights generated by the explosion on like an artist, forming shapes and scenes to illustrate his words “Everything needs to be less than perfect, so town hall is the perfect venue. However, as I have been informed by Mr. Rich himself, it still needs to play out like a real wedding anyway. Now, Mrs. Rich is dealing with the more boring visual details of the wedding while I handle well… You.”
Wut? “Me? Why just me?”
“Because you’re ridiculous to manage, so it takes one just as ridiculous to actually handle you.” Discord retorts.
“Hey! I just complimented you, let’s not get mean here. Especially since I haven’t been trapped in stone yet for being so ‘ridiculous’.” You say, feeling a little miffed at his attitude.
“Hmph, that’s because you’ve never tried the role of villain yet.” Discord shrugs “You couldn’t even handle the villain you tried to reform.”
You begin to grumble, feeling a tad hurt from those words “Yeah, well, mngh… You didn’t have to be mean like that…”
“Hmm…” Discord moves up over you, and starts to gently pet you upon your head “ I apologize, things just slip sometimes… All the time. But I am being serious, I want this to be a happy time for you, and… For Fluttershy as well, which is why we need a team.” Discord snaps his talons, the lights from the fireworks forge the likeness of three beings: Discord, Scootaloo, and Starlight Glimmer. “And that’s the team. With the three of us at your back, you simply can’t fail.”
Wait, wut? “Scootaloo and Starlight? Why them? Why a team exactly? I think I can handle a wedding.”
“Perhaps you can, but I want to guarantee everything works out for you. Now, pay attention. For me, I’ll have to do an emergency retrieval and fetch Fluttershy. Trivial, but I’ve already guessed she won’t be here in time unless I intervene. Then there’s the gift you plan to give to Diamond. You do have one, don’t you?” He asks you.
“Uhm… I could just get her a diamond ring, right?” You just blurt out, as if muscle memory to how weddings work.
“Excellent idea… except” Discord holds up his talons as they fall apart, one by one “Where are you going to put it?”
Right, ugh… you felt pretty dumb about that one. “Ok, ok, I get it. But what do you get a girl that can afford anything she wants? I mean, I’m kind of the perfect gift now that I think about it.” You grin arrogantly to yourself as you say those words.
“Cute, but a traditional pony wedding requires a gift of some sort. I’d say a rainbow gem would be perfect, given how incredibly rare they are. But then again, we’re going for less than perfect, aren’t we?” Discord says with his own slippery grin.
“So what do you suggest? And don’t you think I should get this gift myself? It’d make it more meaningful, I think”
Discord shrugs at you “True, it would, but it’s not uncommon for those getting married to have help from their friends. Remember, this whole world thrives on harmony and balance and all that nonsense, so what I’d suggest is taking said help, and taking this.” Discord holds out his paw to you, in it was a golden heart locket “Simple, easy to keep track of, and the pictures inside are…”
You take the locket and open it up. What you see makes you smile, as one part has a picture of Diamond, and the other had you. Both of you looking at each other as if you had been in love for years. Considering these pictures must have been fabricated in some way, it should surprise Diamond enough for her to really like it. Still, shouldn’t you really get a gift yourself? Thinking about it… Nah, god only knows you might fall into the trope where she hates it and she shatters all your hopes. You doubt she’d actually do that, but you never know. What you did know though, that if a real wedding happened, you’d need to make sure the gift was meaningful and well earned. “Of me and her… Alright, since this wedding doesn’t matter, then this will work perfectly. But when and if I really get married, I’m going after that rainbow gem myself.”
Discord shrugged, bearing a cruel smirk “Your funeral. Anyway, moving on, let’s talk about little Scootaloo and her duty.” The little bright Scootaloo light starts to circle around, yipping “She’s technically going to be your ‘best stallion’, unless you have any objections. I’m open to suggestions”
Damn, you did need a best man, didn’t you? But Scootaloo is a girl, and… Ugh, who else did you really have other than Spike that was male? Fuck man, you really didn’t have anyone close to you as a partner other than Discord and Scootaloo. “Alright, she’ll work. Wasn’t aware how close things were to human weddings, but she’ll work. But then, why Starlight?”
“She’s responsible! Admittingly more responsible than I am. She’ll be able to make sure you’re prepared, well groomed, presentable, and on time. She’ll bring you to town hall, Scootaloo will wait for you to acquire the locket, and Fluttershy and I will be in the gallery with such hopeful eyes.” Discord says, batting his eyes as the lights in the air disappear.
Wow, he really did care. He was more prepared for this than you were. You get up, and carefully put the locket in one of the drawers of your dresser. “I’m sure Fluttershy is gonna be really happy about all this. Discord, do you really care about this? About everything going orderly, despite your own nature?” You look to him with soft eyes “Do you really care about my happiness?”
Discord groans at you “Ugh, I should have just left it alone. I can’t even do something nice without you asking such an inane question.”
“And yet you’re not skipping out on me this time to avoid the question, nor are you making me owe it to you as a favor. So, I’ll take that as a yes.” Heh, what a guy.
“You said it, not me. Hmmm… Yeah…. Hmm…” Discord just started mumbling, crossing his arms as he looked about. “Anon, we’re still partners, right? If there was some mischief to be had that we could do together, or perhaps a scheme to make Fluttershy happy… You’d be with me all the way, right?”
“Before I answer that, would you say that you care about me as much as Fluttershy? Considering all you’ve done for me, you can’t really say no to that, but you have the option to.” You felt so smug there, so cocky, you knew that unless he wanted to seem like an ultimate asshole, that’d he budge, if at least by a little.
Discord, surprisingly, didn’t hesitate or deflect. Instead, he waggles his talon at you as he smiled more warmly. “We’ve done this song and dance before. You know how I feel. You, me, Fluttershy, we’re family. If anything ever happened to you, or to Fluttershy… Well, let’s not ponder on that. You are important to me, that is a fact. I care about you, and see you as a partner, but you’re also a plaything should I so choose. It’s complicated, but I’m sure you understand by now.”
“I do, gotta take the good with the bad when it comes to you. Still, thanks for the help, and thanks for the show, Starlight really appreciated it too. Seeya tomorrow, and have a good night” You say as you hop back into bed, and snuggle into your warm blanket. Heh, now that you put more thought into it, Trixie was right, this is really nice feeling.
“You as well. And be prepared, Anon, you have a filly to please in a couple of days.” Discord flashes away as you already begin to drift off.
Then again, when you open your eyes, you find yourself in a night sky sort of void.
The empty void, a telling sign that Luna was inside your head. At this point, Luna never tried to hide her visitations inside your head given you entered lucidity whenever she did. If something was amiss and you were aware of it, then it meant the Lunar Princess was somewhere nearby. But why this time? Dammit, it was getting so tiresome. Why couldn’t she mind her own damn business! “C’mon Luna, I know you’re there. What? Why are you bothering me this time, huh? I already spoke to your sister about Chrysalis, alright? I’m aware of the stakes this time, I’m aware I can’t give her an inch, and I’m aware I can’t falter just because of my friendship with her. Geez, please, just leave me alone about it. I get that I messed up before, but I promise, I have a handle on it this time. She can’t even take me on at this point, I’m more powerful than she is.”
“Anon, please relax” Luna’s voice echoes through the void, a gentle,soothing, and understanding tone vibrating through your ears. “I am aware of the situation, and as usual, I am wary. However, I have come to trust, to a point, in you. That, I still owe you a debt for saving Equestria from the Storm King, something my sister and I should have been able to do from the start. You have matured quite a bit since the first incident with Queen Chrysalis, so you deserve one more chance. As for why I am here, it happens to be two reasons, none relating to what you fear.”
Huh? So, she’s ok with it this time? Well, to a point, as she said. So what was she here for then? “Well, thanks for that, I guess. But if you’re not here for Chrysalis, what are you here for? Is this the fact I’m helping that weird Neighsay guy?”
“No, it’s unrelated to that as well. In fact, I was completely unaware that Chancellor Neighsay had any contact with you at all.” Luna said, her presence to you still a mystery.
She didn’t know? Then she wasn’t even searching around through your head for secrets. A respect to privacy? Or does she only really pry when she feels it’s important. Also, was it a good idea to mention that guy? Actually, maybe it was, since you barely knew anything about him. You could ask for some information, but you should probably keep what you’re doing to yourself, if only not to stir any trouble. “Yeah, he’s been asking me to help him on a few things. The thing is, the guy is a little creepy to me. I’ve never even heard of the EEA or anything like that, do you know anything, Luna?”
“The only thing I know about the chancellor is from my sister has told me. He apparently has a powerful sense of justice, and wishes to protect Equestria and lead those willing to learn to their true potential. However, he is also arrogant, and prejudiced to those he sees as a threat, mostly any being that isn’t a pony. A good pony who seems rather short sighted in some areas, if I do say so myself. But I assume that since he has asked for your help, then it must be something important. I’ll leave that business to you as I am limited on time, and I have come here for very specific reasons.” Luna tells you as stars begin to align into an image of herself. There is then a flash at the epicenter of the gathered stars as Luna appears a few feet away from you in her usual majestic form.
Not that either? Holy shit, you didn’t expect that. And here you were ready to bite her head off the moment she berated you on anything. Ok, good, that’s good. But then, why was she here? “Specific reasons? What do you mean?”
“Allow me to explain” Luna’s horn begins to light up as the starry void slowly changes to that of the Rich Mansion, in Filthy’s study to be exact. However, there were a few key differences, namely in the fact that a large portrait of what appeared to be you, as an adult, and looking quite handsome with a regal position and a nice robe. And yet, why was that there? This was still a dream, it had to be, Mrs.Rich would have had a cow if something like that hung in the study. “The first reason I am here, is to give you a message from young Diamond Tiara.”
Wut? “Diamond? A message? Hold on, that doesn’t make any sense, why would she send me a message through you? What message? What even is all this?” This was already ridiculously confusing. Even more so as you notice an adult version of you, and a… wew, a longer mane’d, and sexy adult version of Diamond Tiara appear on the couch, nuzzling into each other tiredly as if they had a rough day. “Uhhhh, what’s all this… Woah! AGH!” Suddenly, a small filly, that despite a fur color and mane matching yours, showed signs of being in the style of Diamond Tiara, ran towards the both of you in disress. “Ah geez!” You had to rub yourself for a moment as your legs suddenly turned to cloudy dust from contact with the filly. You didn’t fall over, you still stood in place, but it felt awfully weird seeing your legs turn to dust for a moment before slowly reforming back into place. “The hell is going on, Luna?! What is all this?!”
Luna watched as the filly started hopping about in front of the adult couple, watching as they nod and let the young filly cuddle between them. “This is Diamond’s current dream, after I pulled her away from an atrocious nightmare.”
“Diamond’s dream? Nightmare? Wut? What are you getting at? Wait…” You look upon the trio again, watching them cuddle with each other lovingly. “That’s me, isn’t it? And Diamond… and… Wait, this is a dream of the future, or a future she wants. But that’s weird, where’s the castle and royal stuff?”
“Gone, she no longer wishes for such things” Luna says
“What? I mean, I know it was unrealistic in the first place, but this… I didn’t even know about any of this, what happened?” Like, this was one hell of a sudden shift. If this was really Diamond’s dream, then you needed to know the details of what the fuck caused it. Though, it’s not like this was bad, this actually seemed pretty cozy.
“The final exam, it caused nightmares in the little one, fear of something happening to you.” Luna says, in a way that sounded cryptic to you.
“What? The exam? Why would she have nightmares about that? She seemed fine right after it, so what gives?” She was ok, you remember her being alright.
“Ahh, but Anon, I’m sure even you can realize that once excitement and celebration has washed away from the mind that fear and worry can settle in due to how dangerous the situation itself seemed. But allow me to be exact. Young Diamond’s nightmares, they consisted of horrible outcomes for the both of you within the future she felt you both should have. Indeed, watching you nearly meet your end, and that fact you hold the title of ‘hero colt’, had caused her mind to second guess herself on her dreams and aspirations.”
“Second guess? You mean the whole Prince and Princess thing she wanted? I kind of felt she was getting over that, what kind of nightmares was she even having?” You ask
“It appears she still believed that there was still a chance of such a future. But now, due to the nightmares, she has changed her mind on the matter. The nightmares themselves consisted of horrible visions of you meeting your end during a heroic quest, or leaving her for true royalty, such as a more matured Flurry Heart, and even an ever expanding distance between each other due to the duties of a prince.” Luna explains “Her subconscious started to collapse within itself as more and more fears began to pile upon itself. Wars, enemy raids, managing the government and, even being ponynapped only to be rescued suddenly seemed like a torturous ordeal to her. While rescuing her from this was easy, easing her mind was not. You see, Anon, we had a discussion with how royal life is actually like. I had admitted to her that my duties, and my sister’s, does indeed hinder our time together. And, given the times my sister and I have been imprisoned in some way, I had to admit to her that royal life can also be quite dangerous. This dream you see was conjured through rationalization of the future. Just as her own parents have had more time for each other, and for her, she wishes to take the mantle as head of the Rich estate, and live with you in harmony. This is how she wishes the future to be, and…” Luna watches as the apparitions fall asleep peacefully on the couch as everything begins to dematerialize back into the starry void. “To me, seems like a much better future to dream about for the both of you. However, the message to you was to ask if you do not mind such a future as well, as she feels you truly are dead set into wanting such a regal future for the both of you. She didn’t want to upset you, you see. So then, what is your reply?”
THANK FUCKING GOD! Holy shit, the whole princess and prince crap was finally over! Hopefully now she’ll mellow out in general. “I’m not even mad, I’m perfectly ok with this. In fact, tell her that after I saw the dream for myself, I’d like nothing better.”
“Well, Anon, you can tell her that yourself tomorrow. I’m sure she’d like it a lot more to hear it from you than me. In fact, I’d suggest spending some time with her tomorrow, make a whole day of it. Considering your wedding is coming up, false or not, I’m sure it’d ease her mind to be able to spend the day with you, especially after being haunted by such ghastly thoughts.” Luna suggested. And, y’know, that probably wasn’t a bad idea. You had been doing a lot of other miscellaneous shit lately, so why not spend the day with Diamond to let her know you care.
You nod to Luna “Yeah, I’ll do just that when I wake up. But then, what are the other reasons you wanted to see me then? Or was all that explanation the reasons?”
“Well… Actually” Luna gulped, suddenly became uneasy, and even began to have a jitter in her voice “I had been haunted myself from our last meeting… About what you showed me. Never before had I seen something so absurd. And so… Erm… Ahrm.” She just couldn’t keep it together as she tried to get to her reason “I… Normally have myself more composed in any matter such as this… But this matter is rather, off to me. I… Mmmm… Alright, calm down…” She tells herself as she takes a breath, but even as she composes herself, she still seemed nervous “Alright… The other reason, the reason I’m here… That reason… Is… Why?”
Why? Wut? “What? Luna, what do you mean by why? What’s up with you all of a sudden?” Like really, it looked like she thought you were about to kill her or something.
“Yes.. Erm… Why? The Why… The why that is… Why two mares?” Luna finally coughs out “It makes no sense, no sense at all. For what reason would you even dream about two mares doing such… private acts? It doesn’t seem natural to me, and I… I need to know why you’d even think it is! It confounds me!” Luna started to speed up her speech as she seemed rather frantic on the whole thing. But to you? Ohhhhhhh….
Goodie fucking gumdrops, was she serious?! Was she seriously that bothered by the concept of a colt such as yourself imagining two mares fucking each other? Oh, Anon… You simply can’t pass this up, you cannot pass up getting a little something over Luna this time around. It’s too fucking perfect, and you were going to milk it for as long as it bothered her. Ok, she did do a nice thing for Diamond, so maybe you shouldn’t go too far…
“So you really wanna know, huh? I mean, it’s going to take a bit to explain. So unless you have time to spare, there really isn’t enough time to tell it to you, is there?” Take the bait, Luna. You give her a sinister little smirk as you await her answer.
“I started my duties early enough to extend myself in the pursuit of this answer. I… Probably shouldn’t pursue it, really, but it’s simply too mind boggling to let it linger inside my head.” Luna looked reluctant, yet eager to learn the truth. Well then, if she insists.
“Alright then, I’ll tell you. But really, Luna, I think that thousand year imprisonment may have made your thinking a tad outdated. For a stallion, or heck, a human even, seeing two females do the nasty is very very alluring. How do you not get that?” Just reel it in slowly, Anon.
“If ‘doing the nasty’ refers to procreation, then no, you’re wrong, it’s not alluring. Such acts are of an intimate nature, between a stallion and a mare that have fallen deeply in love with each other. It may be enjoyable, but it also for the purpose of producing a wonderful foal into this world. That is the absolute truth!” Luna nearly yells that last part out in her royal canterlot tone. Clearly she had no concept of lewd and deviant thoughts.
“As true as that may be, you can’t honestly tell me a stallion wouldn’t surround himself in pleasurable company if he was able. Or, in the case of a lavish mare like,say, Rarity, are you to tell me she doesn’t gather the attention of multiple Stallions at once?” You ask her, just throwing out that bait for her to bite into.
“Hmph” Luna holds her head up high, looking down as if she’s figured something out “You seem to be mistaken. It is normal for multiple stallions to attempt to court a mare, with only one usually winning out. Just as well, a stallion who finds himself in such company will always settle for a single mare. Your logic is flawed. Perhaps it’s simply a ‘human’ thing.” Luna was quick to dismiss you, faster than you expected even. Clearly she didn’t want to believe in the notion that a pony would engage in such sexual acts.
“Ah, but is it?” You raise your hoof as your smug levels begin to rise “Sure, you might be right when it comes to courting and stuff. But this is more of the mind, a fantasy, rather than something a pony would be brave enough to actually engage in. But let me put it in a perspective you can get. Ok, so, what do you think of Big Mac? I know he’s in a relationship and all, but what do YOU think of him, and I mean in a way that suggests… Courting.”
Luna froze for a moment, and then pondered. After a few seconds, she nodded to you and answered “He is a strong stallion. Dutiful, loyal, and family centric. I’d say he’s a fine stallion. Where are you going with this?”
“We’ll get to the point in a moment. Alright then, now what do you think of say… Soarin.” C’mon, Luna…
“Of the Wonderbolts? Hmmmm…” Luna, again, began to give it some thought “He can be heroic at times. He’s a little absent minded, but good hearted. Fast, athletic, capable. And a pure enough personality for a mare to know he’d never do anything behind their back.”
“Right. Two stallions you have some interest in, even if hypothetically. Now then, and I’ll be blunt, how would you feel about them fondling themselves?” You hold back a grin that would even put the Grinch to shame.
Her reaction was golden. She nearly fell backwards as her face blushed at the thought. But despite the embarrassed action, she also seemed rather insulted. “Anon! That is more than wrong! Why would they even do that?! What do I gain by thinking such a thought?!”
You shrug “Oh, you know, self pleasure in imagining Big Mac playing with Soarin’s unmentionables for a little bit before they climb onto your bed, cuddle you, lick you all over, and ‘procreate’ with you… both of them…. Possibly at the same time, if you dig that sort of thing anyway.”
Luna’s upper part of her body turned red as her pupils shrank from shock. At first, she was fumbling her words. Finally, unable to take it mentally, she starts yelling in her ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’ “ANON! YOU DARE INSULT ME?! YOU DARE TRY TO PLACE SUCH UGLY AND CONTEMPTIBLE THOUGHTS INTO MY MIND?!”
You shrug again, and walk up to her with the surest as fuck smirk you’ve ever given her. “I didn’t try, I did. Look at you, Luna, you’re as red as a tomato. You’re the master of dreams, right? Are you telling me you wouldn’t partake in such pleasures?”
Luna growled at you as she realized her own increase in body temperature. “You dare mock me…” Her horn began to glow as you suddenly found yourself surrounded by clouded forms. “And yet you do not realize the folly of your own hubris. I have now realized that you only tried to trick me for your own humorous machinations. Well, Anon, I too can play such games. Prepare yourself, for you shall now suffer your own lies!”
Oh shit! Was she gonna hurt you? Cause you terrible nightmares? Oh dammit, she was worse than Discord when it came to taking a… Hold on a second, what’s this? The clouded forms change into the CMC, all slowly approaching you, silently, with bedroom eyes. “What in the...?”
“That’s right, Anon, now it is you who will be red and full of embarrassment! HAHA!” Luna attempted to turn the tables on you, to make you realize your mistake.
You found yourself a little stunned as Applebloom immediately began to nuzzle on your side. Sweetie Belle was gently climbing onto your back, nibbling your ear. Scootaloo was kissing under your chin as she nuzzles you from the other side. Holy crap, now this was tops. Sure, it wasn’t too lewd, but you had three imaginary fillies nuzzling on you… All because Luna still didn’t get it.
“How does it feel, Anon? Do you realize now how unnat- W-why are you looking at me like that?” Luna, so sure of her victory, is caught off guard when you give her bedroom eyes, and beckoned to her with a hoof.
“There’s room for one more, Luna. C’mon, I’d like me some belly rubs” You snicker at her. You had this, you had the advantage, the momentum, and the play of the damn game.
“I… No! It’s… How?! Aren’t you bothered by the fact they are cuddling you? All vying for your attention? You have a marefriend, but even if you didn't, you can only claim one! And yet, not only do you choose all three, but you also want me to join in on this?! It doesn’t, no, it can’t make any sense!” Luna couldn’t process what she was witnessing. At first she was curious, then she meant to beat you out, now she had no clue what to think.
“It’s just a fantasy, Luna. I love my Diamond, but a colt like me has needs, just like you. You can’t tell me a thousand years on the moon didn’t make you a little in the wanting for some male attention, right? Or even…” Something struck you as enlightening just then. This was still your dreamscape, even if Luna was manipulating it. But, given her state, would this give you control? Hmmmm… “Some regal and adorable company”
Luna suddenly jolts when she feels something rub on her side. When she looked, what she saw shocked her. It was an obviously horny Twilight, nuzzling Luna for her attention. “W-what is t-Guh?!” Luna found herself sandwiched and unable to move when she felt something cuddling on her other side. “P-princess Cadance? I uhhhngh!” She suddenly let out a gentle moan when she felt her ears being licked and nibbled upon. “S-sister? Wait.. n-no…” When she felt it, she thought it’d be the whole ensemble of princesses, but it wasn’t. Floating overhead, as if no gravity existed, was Big Mac and Soarin. They both had eyes for her, and had reached their heads down to lick and play with her ears. At this point, Luna’s whole body was red, and she was unable to speak properly.
“See? While I’m not big on guy on guy… Like, at all. It kind of works when there's a beautiful set of mares in the middle, don’t you think? Oh, girls, right there… Oh, Sweetie, you know how to work the kinks out of my back.” As you spoke, you felt yourself relaxed as you laid on your belly, the girls still giving you their attention as Sweetie gently massaged your back.
“En-Eno...Hnnmmmn...Eno…” Luna was letting out soft whines and moans as she was cuddled upon. Every caress on her body was weakening her resolve.
“Eno? Eno what, Luna? You can stop this if you want, I was just trying to prove a point. You get it, right?” God, she was fighting it so hard. You swear, if you could just look at her rear, you know she’d be wet.
“Eno… Ngh… ENOUGH!” Luna bellowed out, a magical burst obliterating all the dreamy phantoms and causing you to tumble back a few feet. After her magical blast, she found herself panting, out of breath from both the release of her magic, and the attention she received.
“Ugh… What was that?” You fell flat on your belly after that tumble. You shook your head, and stood up as you looked upon Luna, who was just panting, staring off into space, and most importantly, still blushing. “Luna, you alright?” But no response. Did you do it? Hook, line, and sinker? You slowly approach her, and tug at her leg “Luna?”
“H-huh? A-Anon?” Luna looks down at you, still shocked from the whole thing as she flinches backwards. But as she started to snap back to her senses. She began to calm down. Though, that didn’t remove the feelings she felt from what she just beared witness to. “Anon… I” Suddenly, she took another step back from you “Your… subconscious aura… I can feel it. You were serious, you really found that… To your liking... “
Did you go too far? Nah, don’t step back now, Anon! Go for the finish! “Yeah, I guess. The other princesses appearing was more for me, really. Big Mac and Soarin was for you. See, the answer is simple, Luna. Stallions like mares, so the more mares, the better. Sure, there’s a proper way of doing things, but you can’t tell me it’s not fun to fantasize such… ‘absurd’ scenarios, am I right?” You give her a gentle nudge to the leg “Eh? Ehhhh?”
“Then you felt it. My horrible desire… For it to continue.” Luna gulped, stunned by her own words and realization. “What horrors have I unleashed upon my own mind?”
Uhhh, yeh… “Yep… I totally… Er… Felt it within you. Totally could tell. So, you get it though, right? Because… Y’know…” You float up to her ear, controlling yourself through your own dreamscape, and whisper to her “I’m into a lot more forbidden things, if you want to have a go. Just a dream, right? You could age me up and everything. I mean, not like I wouldn’t know how to ‘act my age’.”
Luna backed off from you, mortified from your words. “What?! I would never! Could never! Oh no, this was a mistake! The highest levels of indecency! Nopony… No, nocreature is capable of such thought within this realm! I… It… Was merely a moment of weakness!”
“Y’know you loved it” You smooch at her, and giggle adorably.
“I… I... “ Luna began to disappear “Must be going! I… Will not be visiting for quite some time… I…. Must reflect once my work is done this night! I… I…” And then, when she noticed you wiggle her eyebrows at her, her eyes begin to turn a solid glowing white as she yelled “IT’S NOT FUNNY, ANON! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! THIS REALLY IS A THOUGHT ONLY AN OUTWORLDER WOULD THINK OF! AND IF YOU THINK I’LL GIVE THIS ANY FUTURE THOUGHT, THEN Y-YOU’RE W-W-WRONG! I WISH YOU WELL WITH YOUR MAREFRIEND, BUT BID YOU CAUTION TO YOUR OWN MIND! BECAUSE IT IS OF THE HIGHEST REALM OF VILE! AGAIN! THESE THOUGHTS WILL NOT, NOR WILL THEY EVER, HAUNT MY MIND! IN FACT, STALLIONS ARE NOW OF A DISGUSTING NATURE TO ME!”
“So… you’re into mares then?” You dare to ask
“YES! I MEAN… NO! I MEAN! I MUST VACATE YOUR MIND! I HAVE IMPORTANT WORK TO DO, AND CANNOT STAY ANY LONGER! AND AGAIN, THESE THOUGHTS WILL NEVER SHOW UP AGAIN! NOT EVER! FARE THEE WELL, ANON, AS I CAUTION YOU AGAIN ON SUCH THOUGHTS! THE THOUGHTS WHICH I WILL NOT BE IMAGINING!”
You just wave to her, and cheerfully say “Well, in case it does, I just want to say that in my universe, a rule exists that if it exists, there’s an opposite gender version of it. Just saying, the elements of harmony can be really appealing if you give it some thought.”
“NO! THERE WILL BE NO MORE THOUGHTS ON THIS! EVER! YOU WILL NEVER THINK SUCH THOUGHTS EITHER! OR ELSE YOU WILL BECOME RIDDLED WITH HORRIBLE GUILT! REMEMBER! ONE MARE!” She bellows as she nearly disappears out of sight.
“I mean, I guess I can stop when I feel guilty.” You shrug
“OH, YOU WILL FEEL GUILT, ANON! TRUST ME, YOU WILL! NOPONY CAN TRULY BE SO DEVIANT AS TO ACTUALLY FOLLOW SUCH THOUGHTS! I KNOW NOW THAT YOU HAVE ONLY DONE THIS TO SURPRISE AND SHOCK ME! WELL, IT DIDN’T WORK! AND NOW I AM GOING BECAUSE I HAVE NO MORE TIME! AGAIN, I AM NOT SHOCKED, AND NONE OF THIS WILL BE GIVEN ANY THOUGHT. I HAVE SPOKEN!” And with that, Luna disappeared as the stars began to vanish from the void.
When you opened your eyes, you blissfully yawned, and stretched out on your bed. “What a nice dream.”
Though, as good a dream as that was, you now found yourself in some dark chamber, with a window wall leading out into space, and various controls consoles to the sides. Directly in front of you was a small set of stairs that led to a throne of some sort, but it was facing away from you and looking towards the window wall. And despite all this, you were still on your bed. Were you still asleep?
“I sensed a disturbance in the dreamscape, my young apprentice” Said a voice that came from the throne. The throne turned to face you, sitting on it was a disfigured Discord in a dark robe and red glowing eyes. What became even more ominous was some sort of space age stick he was holding, it suddenly emitted some sort of red beam sword from it’s hilt… though it looked more like a spatula.
“Star Wars? Really? You couldn’t do better than that?” You raise an eyebrow as you cross your hooves at the disfigured draconequus. “Gonna take a guess you eavesdropped on my dream, huh? I mean, not like it wasn’t a bad thing for you to do that, considering how hilarious it was.”
Discord started to nonchalantly swing his light spatula around as he leaned back on his throne. “Actually, I didn’t eavesdrop, but you do have my attention.” Discord then gave you a dark smirk “I can only guess you toughened up your backbone and pulled one over the princess of the night, that would be the only way to explain why there was such a sudden blast of magic through the realm of sleep. Well, I’m listening, my apprentice. Tell me of your hilarious, yet not as hilarious as what I did to Twilight, meeting with Princess Luna.”
You let out a soft chuckle. Man, you were going to blow him away with this one. He may have been able to pull off a better than average prank on Twilight, but you PERFECTED the human art form of blowing somepony the fuck out. “Well, hold on to your robes, my master. Because this one is gonna force push you away!”
And so you tell Discord everything that happened within the world of dreams. As you told your story, he started to smile warmly, and even chuckle at Luna’s misfortune. “...And that’s it. Guess we both got to have a grand ole time, wouldn’t you say?”
“Indeed, you have learned well, my apprentice. In fact, I’d say that was NEARLY as good as the trick I played on Twilight.” He then gives you a more intense look before he smirks “We could go for a four pair, if you know what I mean.”
You shrug, as much as you would think messing with Cadance and Celestia would make the day complete, you knew Celestia was a tad sensitive lately and that Cadance would just make your life hell by sending a letter to Twilight. Well, maybe she’d do that, she does seem to have a much lighter sense of humor than her. “Not in the cards, my master. Besides, I gotta see Diamond today, wanna talk to her about a few things.”
“Ah yes, of course, you did mention that. Alright then” Discord throws off his robes as he gets up from his throne and stands, looking battle ready as he holds up his saber. “Then it’s time for action”
“Action? W-WHA?!” You duck your head when you suddenly hear blaster fire coming from behind you. You crawl to the other side of your bed and pop your head up to see lightning clouds shooting some goopy looking shots at Discord. “Ah geez, c’mon Discord! This seems a little dangerous!”
“Hush! Concentrating…” Discord readies himself, then jumps to the other side of your bed as he starts deflecting the shots with his saber, either knocking them straight up, or hitting them back at the clouds, causing them to burst. When the last of the clouds blew up, Discord holstered his saber as he unholstered a plate and held it up, catching the blaster shots as they fell. As it turned out, as they fell, you noticed they were now fully formed pancakes, and that Discord was catching them as a stack. After his last catch, he then holds the plate towards you and smiles “Pancakes are done, here you are.”
When you raise your head, you start to put things together as you take the plate. “That was pretty cool. And let me guess, those were ‘Storm Troopers’, right?”
Discord nodded as he opened the tip of his talon, pouring a small amount of syrup onto the stack. “Yes, quite accurate, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yeah… except for the fact they work for the emperor. What you should have done was have a duel with a pancake pony named ‘Pancake Skywalker’, who literally would walk in the sky.” You say as you start to dig in
“Look at you, criticizing me after such a performance. Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t accurate to your silly space opera. Maybe next time I should imprison myself in a cage and tease your brain with riddles before I eat it.” Discord said, not pleased with your criticism, even hurt about it.
You let out a lighthearted chuckle, you didn’t mean to sound mean, you were just messing with him “C’mon, Discord. I was just joking… Also, that’s not how ‘Silence of the Lambs’ went either. Just relax, alright? Thanks for the breakfast, and thanks for your help, I really really appreciate it” You look up at him with a childish smile, and even wag your tail to add to your cuteness. “You are the greatest, y’know?”
Discord’s look of discontent broke into a small smile from those words as he gave you a gentle pat “I know, I’ve always known. Ahh, Anon, you are good son.” Discord snaps his talons, returning the room to your normal one. “Hmm, if we’re not going to be messing with the princesses, perhaps I can arrange a guy’s night. You’d be up for that, wouldn’t you? Conan?”
“We’ll see, that really is more your guys' thing than mine. But if things go well today, sure, why not? It’ll take some tension away from the wedding, which I’m sure I’ll hear a lot about today.”
“I’ll take that as a definite yes, I know you have the moves to continue to charm that darling filly. But just in case” Discord points at you with his talon, zapping you with a magic that puts you in a business suit akin to Mr.Rich. Your mane even slicks back. “This should help, given her new dream.”
You look at the cuffs at the end of your forelegs, then take a touch of your mane. If it’s one thing you remembered, she doesn’t seem to like your hair like this if she can help it. So, you just muddle it up a bit, then look to Discord with a nod “Heh, didn’t even ask this time. Thanks, Discord.”
“No need to thank me, consider it a small gift for getting one over our dear moon princess. Hmmm, as for me, I realize I can’t just go see Spike due to Twilight most likely still being quite sore at me. I’ll have to see Big Mac instead.” Discord lets out a light and quick laugh “Maybe I’ll go see Scootaloo right after, I’d imagine she’s probably at the clubhouse with her friends right now. Heck, since I’m going to be there at all, I might as well see if Applejack needs my help, I’m feeling right helpful this mornin’”
Ooohhh no, he’s going to far with that thought. “Just stick to the first two, you know how you get when you get too orderly, or worse, really bored.”
“Oh, right, yes!” Discord chuckled to himself “Good idea, Anon. Wow, I really did go too far with that thought, didn’t I?” Discord, with a smile, put his arms to his hips and shook his head “My my my, shame on me. I was this close to entering a series of events that would have ended in flying pigs and a huge tub of apple juice to swim in. Not a bad idea actually, apples do have a great scent! But we all know that Applejack, she’s just as uptight as a wedgie caused by a hot air balloon.”
Wha? “Wedgie caused by a hot air balloon? How does that even fit?”
Discord rolled his eyes at you “Obviously you have never felt your underwear tighten up by the force of an ever rising and very large hot air balloon. That is a perfectly valid countryism and you know it.”
Oh, it was a pun “Alright, alright, you got me. In my defense, I just woke up, not exactly quick thinking right now.”
“It’s alright, Anon, I forgive you.” Discord gently pats your head “In anycase, I’ve got some work to do. Hopefully Big Mac can ask Spike to set up a campaign for us tonight. Again, I’d do it myself, but Twilight is probably still cranky about the statue. You’d think she’d act her age and stop whining, eh?”
You laugh at that, as if! “Twilight can’t even get over a smudge on her favorite book, she’s such a kid. Also, don’t go and smudge her books. Don’t want to upset her too much, she might get so angry she’ll burst into flames and burn her castle down.”
“I didn’t know that was possible, I’ll have to remember that's a thing. Anyway, fare thee well, Conan, we will meet again at camp!” Discord said to you with a bow
“Ummm…” Eh, fine, you’ll do it. “Seeya there, Captain Wuz.” You salute to him as he disappears.
With breakfast done, you get out from bed and open your portal door to Town Hall. You do stop, and take a moment to look around. You felt that Cozy Glow might be around and ready to greet you, but it seems she wasn’t waiting around this time. A sweet filly to be sure, you wouldn’t mind having a daughter like that in all actuality. Very nice and very well behaved.
Heck, your entire walk was encounter free, for the most part. There were a few ponies who greeted you, some seeming star struck seeing you walk about, and the rest of them just being their usual friendly selves. Heh, it made you feel prideful, you are the Hero Colt after all.
When you got to the Rich Manor, you did your usual prepwork of at least brushing your mane back once and standing tall. Ok, maybe messing with your mane was pointless back in your room if you were just gonna do this anyway. Ugh, ya dingus. Whatever, you knock on the door, and wait for an answer.
It didn’t take long for the door to be opened by Filthy Rich himself, who seemed rather surprised by your presence. Surprised, but pleasantly so. “Well, good mornin’, Anon. Looking rather sharp, I see. Don’t suppose you somehow knew I was goin’ to go pick up some cider from the Apple family. Be mighty glad to have you tag along, specially after that training exam business. I’m sure them barrels are nothin’ to you now.” Mr.Rich said with a bright and optimistic smile. Hmm, it may have been awhile back, but you were sure Mr. Rich felt you still may have felt some shame over what happened before, and felt you would be able to handle the work now and pick yourself up over any lingering thoughts. Really? You were way over it by now, and you did want to help him out. But…
“I actually would love to, Mr. Rich. But I came here to see my ‘future wife’” You said with a wink.
Filthy laughed heartily at that “That’s a good one! Haha! Well, she’s with her mother at the moment. Dunno what’s going on really, she suddenly was asking to know this and that about Barnyard Bargains and the way we run things. Makes me proud n’ all, but she’s still a bit too young for the finer points of big business. Still, she’s being really eager, and I can’t say no when she’s got her mind on somethin’. Now that I think about it, it’s a shame you ain’t coming with. Would be fitting with the mares doing one thing while we stallions bond over hard work.”
“It does sound pretty fitting, but I really need to see her about something. Nothing bad, mind you, I just gotta talk to her about a few things. But I’d love to be able to do this with you some other time, maybe you could teach me more about other businesses you have your hooves in. I’m sure that’s plenty important too.” You didn’t want to hurt his feelings or anything, but you had to see Diamond, at any cost.
“Oh, well now. Ah didn’t even think of that. Hmmm, that is mighty important. Alright, I’ll make up a little ole dossier on the subject for next time. But you better take to being all kinds of serious about it, Anon. Our business ain’t no joke. I know I don’t have to tell you that, but if you really want to learn this early, then you gotta take it serious just the same.” He sounded pretty dead serious about the more he spoke on it. He seemed to even realize it as he took a moment to stop and smile once again. “Well, that ain’t anything to worry about now. You have a good day, Anon.” He steps aside to let you inside “Now go and give my daughter a hearty good mornin’.”
“Will do, Mr. Rich” What a friendly guy. Filthy Rich, probably the most honest business pony in Equestria. And a guy you hope to make proud when and if you do actually acquire the business. You don’t want to let him down.
Welp, you were inside. The maids seemed to be busy cleaning this and that, not paying attention to you at all. You start to step towards the stairs in the main hall when you notice a few maids carrying plates of confectionaries down towards Filthy’s study. With Mr. Rich out, it made you wonder who that was all for. So with some curiousness, you follow them into the study.
When you step inside, you could see Silver Spoon lounging boredly on the couch near the fireplace, barely moving when a plate is set on the small table in front of her. At the desk however, were Diamond and Spoiled. From what you could hear and see, Spoiled was guiding Diamond through some sort of ledger for the company. She also sounded somewhat frustrated, as Diamond seemed to be focused but too young to understand some of the things she was mentioning. Should you interrupt and announce yourself? Maybe, for now you’ll walk over to Silver Spoon and ask her in a whisper “Heya, Silver Spoon, whats up?”
“Like, the most boring thing ever…” She says with a low groan. “I wanted to take Diamond with me to find a sorta ok bouquet of flowers for the wedding. But she’s totally doing boring stuff, I don’t even know why. She just said she wanted to learn how to run the family business or something like that.”
Oh shit, she really took her dream seriously, huh. “I see, but why does her mom sound frustrated?”
“Because she was all like ‘Diamond, you’re too young to learn this’. Mrs. Rich also said she only does work when she has to, but the lady of the company usually does all the social stuff. I mean, even I know that. But Diamond? She like, totally wants to do everything her Dad can do all of a sudden. You didn’t say anything to her, did you, Anon?” She asks you, still looking quite bored on the couch.
“Can’t say that I have, but I don’t think it's bad that she’s so eager to learn, even if it is sudden. But if she’s having trouble understanding… Well… “ It was obvious to you now that Diamond must have thrown some sort of tantrum or begged really hard to have Mrs. Rich taking her through some sort of crash course. You even wondered if she could teach her with it being all of a sudden and having nothing prepared for her to actually learn. Most likely, she was just humoring her daughter to the best of her ability. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Thank you” Silver says with a huff “This is just way too boring for me.”
Alrighty then, you head over to the study, a few steps off, while listening to what was going on. Spoiled was really trying to get through to her daughter. “Diamond Tiara, will you calm down? At this rate, you’d sink the company for sure. I’m going to tell you one last time. You are too young to learn the ins and outs of the company like I have. Like I said, I started learning AFTER I married your father, and he was taught the financial side of things when he came of age. And even then, you are a young mare, you need to learn the more soci-”
But Diamond wouldn’t have it, she slams her hoof on the desk and starts making demands “No! I want to be able to run the company as good as Daddy does! Since I’ll be marrying Anon for real, I want to be able to be his perfect partner!”
“And you will be… In the future, as in not now. Diamond, be reasonable, I have an appointment at the spa in half an hour. I’m still stressed from a few days ago and I don’t need any of this.” Indeed, her patience was thinning, it was time to say something.
“Um, Hey! Sorry to interrupt, but erm, came to see Diamond, if that's alright.” You say as you wave your hoof.
Spoiled has never looked as happy to see you as she did now, she even came to give you a hug “Anon! Good morning! How are you? Very good of you to see my precious daughter. I’m sure you both will have a pleasant morning. You’re free to do whatever you all wish. Goodbye.” Yep, she hugged you, stepped back, and stepped out within that whole sentence before anyone could even react. She did look pretty stressed though, perhaps she still had some guilt over that day. Or maybe it really was the stress of it all.
“Anon?” Diamond froze when she looked at you, then looked down as she got off the chair. She didn’t move out from behind the desk however as she suddenly became timid. “... Did you talk to Princess Luna? Is that why you’re here?”
“Yep” You say to her in a cute and confident tone “I was worried about you. You ok? You looked pretty intense just now, really focused.”
“Y-yeah… Um, I just want to focus more on Daddy’s business. Not only for me, but for you. For the both of us. I k-know I wanted to become a princess in some way… But…” You could hear her suddenly begin to tear up “I just… Well, y-you know. She told you about the nightmares, right?”
“She did.”
You hear her gulp, as she suddenly sounds more weepy about it “Uh huh… Erm, you’re not upset, right? I-I know you had your heart set on being my prince.”
You shrug “Eh, whatever. Being a prince sounded dull anyway. Besides, your dad seems really set on me learning the ins and outs of…” You do your best to sound like Filthy himself “Barnyard Bargains and all its affiliates and outside businesses, y’hear?” You then chuckle, feeling a tad silly about it. But then, when you noticed no response… “Diamond? You ok?”
Before you knew it, Diamond came running from behind the desk, and jumped on top of you, hugging you and bringing her head under your chin for comfort as she nuzzled “Anon! Y-You’re the greatest! I’m so happy to hear that! I was so scared you’d be upset! A-Anon…” She started to sniffle as she cuddled, and so you started to comfort her by holding her close, and tapping her nose with yours.
“Yeah, I know I’m the best. But hey, relax, alright? Your mom is right, you’re taking things in too quickly. Just tackle em’ as they come, ok? For now, let's hang out! You’d like that, right?” The poor thing, you had to do your best to get her to smile.
“Mhmm, I’d like that… Very much.” She said in a low voice, obviously still as infatuated with you as the day you ‘saved’ her.
“Oh my gosh! This is like, the most romantic thing ever! You two really are perfect for each other!” said the voice of Silver Spoon, as she just kind of stood over the both of you, making things kind of awkward. Awkward enough for you both to let out a small cough, and stand on your hooves.
“Yep, eheh. Ummm, anyway. You alright, Diamond? I mean, really alright.” You ask her, composing yourself from such a show of affection.
“I definitely am now. Oh, um… Hi, Silver Spoon, how are you?” Diamond asks, now in full realization that her best friend is present.
“Was kinda bored, but seeing you two so happy with each other has really inspired me! Diamond, have you ever thought of getting Anon a makeover? Oh! We could totally, like, make him look super cute in time of the wedding!” Silver Spoon said, with heightened excitement over such an idea.
“No, Anon is already perfect the way he is. Hmmm… “ Diamond said as she began to ponder to herself as she looked at you with loving eyes.
“Well, ummm…” Silver Spoon seemed disappointed by that answer, but would say nothing to upset her friend. So she decides to go with the original reason she came by “We could find a sorta ok bouquet for you. Something that screams ‘This is not as nearly as great as I thought it was’. How does that sound?”
“No… no, Mother and Daddy already have everything ready for the wedding, so we don’t have to do anything ourselves. Although, since I do want to learn more about the family business, maybe I should learn about how Anon does things.” Diamond then looks deep into your eyes, as if she was looking for something “Like… Hero work.”
Not only you, but Silver as well, step back with a “What?!”
“Well, it’s just like Anon said, we should hang out! And since we’re future partners, not only will we be equals at business, but also at heroing! Makes sense, right?” Diamond said with a wide and closed eyed smile.
“U-uhhmmm, Diamond, what happened to the other thing I said? The ‘take things as they come’ part?” She can’t be serious! That’s even worse than the royalty thing!
“Well, adventures are always coming and going, right? I’m not asking to go out doing hero work with you everyday, just this one time to learn how it’s like. Then, like a responsible mare, I’ll wait until we’re married for us to do it on the regular. Besides, your dad already told me I’d get to go on your next adventure anyway, so why not do it now and get it over with? And besides…” She steps towards you with longing eyes “They say lots of romantic stuff can happen on adventures too, it sounds really exotic.”
Goddammit, you do remember SOMETHING about that. And even then, given Discord’s personality, he’d really make it happen if he found out.
But wait… Wait. WAIT! Holy fuck, Anon, you were an adult before you came to Equestria, why are you bending to Diamond’s demands? She had those nightmares for a reason, and goddammit, even then, she did not fully seem to understand WHY she actually had them. Goddammit, Anon, stop being a pussy and stand up for yourself! Just do it carefully. So, you look over to Silver Spoon, and give her a heavy glare “Silver, you mind giving me some privacy? I need to speak to Diamond alone.” Your stare was intense, so much so you accidently seemed to have instilled some fear into her.
“Anon? What’s wrong?” Diamond asked, confused about your sudden serious demeanor.
“Umm… Erm…” Silver started to back up as she looked at you, then shifted her gaze towards Diamond, unknowing of what to do.
Diamond, both worried and yet intrigued, just nods to her “Do what he says, Silver.” Diamond then looks to you, she went from happy and lovey dovey to shaken and subtly distraught. This attitude was familiar to you with the last time you had a major argument with her, so you knew what to expect.
When Silver finally left the room, Diamond looks to you with a frown, with worry in her tone. “Did I say something wrong? Why are you so serious all of a sudden?”
Just stand your ground, Anon, she is just being a child .”Diamond, you’re being unreasonable.”
“What?!” Diamond said, in shock you’d be so direct “How am I being unreasonable? Do you mean on going on an adventure?” Suddenly, she began to look at you with a hard stare “I said ONE adventure! Just one. How is that unreasonable?”
“Because adventures are dangerous, Diamond. Almost every single one I’ve ended up in has lead to somepony getting hurt. Yes, usually it’s me, but sometimes it's one of my friends. And sometimes it's a situation where nopony is going to walk away from if a mistake is made.” You explain to her, keeping your cool the best you can.
“But I wouldn’t make a mistake. I’m actually very good at coming up with plans, so I’d totally be able to help out so we don’t end up getting beaten.” She retorts, her voice desperate for your validation.
“Diamond, you know I know about what you had nightmares about. I understand you wanted to tone things down to a more realistic future for us, and I’m really happy about that. But when it comes to adventures and heroing, you don’t just go looking for trouble and expect to come out on top. Ok? I don’t just walk up to something dangerous and say ‘Hmm, I should get involved in this despite it possibly being really dangerous’. I do what I do when I’m needed, that’s all.” Ok, so that wasn’t exactly the truth. You’ve gotten yourself into danger many a time due to arrogance or ignorance, and only got out of it mostly due to luck or the power of your horn. But you couldn’t let her know that.
“But then… How am I supposed to be your partner? I thought with us running Daddy’s business together, that we’d be able to go on adventures together too. I just wanted to help you, so it wouldn’t be so dangerous for you… Like when I nearly got…” Diamond gasped, and brought her hooves to her mouth “When ‘I’ nearly got fillynapped. You got hurt only because I…”She looks to you, tears in her eyes “Because I got you into it”
Well, that wasn’t exactly true either, there was no way either of you could have foreseen Discord coming in to cause all this in the first place. You sigh, and slowly approach her for a hug. “That is a little different, you didn’t go looking for trouble when that happened. But…” And you really could use this to your advantage “With inexperience, that kind of thing could easily happen if we go adventuring, or something even worse. I’m not saying it’ll never happen, I’m just saying that, well, that I’m happy the way things are now, and look forward to helping you run this company. Because, really? I may be good at being a hero, but if your Dad gave me the reigns to his livelihood… Erm.” You raise your hoof, then spiral it down to the ground, accompanying it with a sound similar to a plane in a falling tailspin.
Diamond had a small giggle at that, but then seemed rather surprised “Really? You really think you’d do that bad? I know I don’t know too much, but I got through most of the basics just fine. Really, I know enough about running Barnyard Bargains itself… Just not when it includes all those other stuff Daddy owns. It’s all just numbers, projections, predictions, and well, as mother told me, socializing with the right ponies. I don’t understand how you'd have trouble with that, you seem so good at it, and you always get very high grades in Miss Cheerilee’s class.”
Only due to your true origins and your current status. In truth, you’d never be able to put that altogether to run a business by yourself, at least not the financial side of it. “Yeah, but I can’t put it all together like you can. I mostly live in the moment, and I have more of this ‘intuition’ than I do financial sense…” Or more really, you use tropes you know about to your advantage “But that's what I’m talking about, we can still be a team, be business partners, and IF the situation arises… We could go on an adventure together. We can do all those things, Diamond…” You look to her with a gentle smile, and put your hoof to her cheek, prompting a blushy gently nuzzling from her “But we have to be smart about it, ok?”
She nods, finally agreeing with you “Ok, I think I understand now. I still totally can’t really believe you can’t handle business stuff, but if you really can’t, I can run you through the basics. Then I can teach you the more advanced stuff when I learn it. Ok…” Diamond takes a breath, and calms herself “I’m over it now, and I’m really sorry, Anon. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s alright, Diamond. Heh, can’t be worried now since our wedding is so soon.” You say with a sunny smile
“Yeah… I know it’s not a real one, but it does sort of feel real. I… Really can’t wait.” Diamond says with a long hopeful sigh, before a thought pops in her head “But Anon, what would be a situation that we would go on an adventure together?”
You already had a perfect example for that one “Well, if we had a daughter, whoever foalnaps her will be in for some pain.”
“Yeah!” Diamond jumped forward “They totally will! I’ll finally be able to try those moves I learned when Mother put me in those self defense classes! I’ll just use my hind legs to grab them like this!” And without even realizing it, Diamond grabs you by the neck with her hindlegs, and twists your entire body with a spin before throwing you down. “And then slam them down like that! Much better than just bucking them… Or thats what I… ANON!” Diamond gasped “A-Are you ok?!”
You were dazed, and even confused, from such a sudden spin and slam to the ground. Hoo, you were even turned on a little bit, that was the first time you’ve ever really been between her legs. “I-I’m good, eheh. J-just peachy.”
After a quick recovery, and Diamond having the maids bring both snacks and tea for everyone, and some sort of ointment for your neck, in which you had to prevent any lewd thought from entering your mind as one of the maids expertly and soothingly rubbed it into your neck, the three of you decided to sit on the couch and discuss a few things. What those things were…
“Well, I guess bouquet hunting isn’t a thing anymore. So, like, what are we going to do today?” Silver asked, looking to Diamond for guidance as she took a sip of her tea.
“I don’t know, but I kind of didn’t feel like going out anyway. Then again, my reason for staying in has gone to the spa. Hmm…” Diamond began to ponder to herself, trying to come up with an idea. It actually didn’t take her long at all to think something up when her gaze came upon you. “Well, actually, since we’re here. Anon, why don’t you tell us about how your life is. I mean, y’know, I know so much about you, but I don’t know enough. I realized that since I don’t live with you, or really see you when you’re alone, all I really know about you is that you’re a hero, that you’re amazing, and loving, thoughtful, cool, strong, and… mmmm, well that’s it.” Diamond then nods, as her expression becomes more determined “And that’s not right! My gosh! How can we even get fake married if I only know so much about you!?” Diamond hops off the couch and starts marching about “Argh!” She yelled to herself in frustration “How could I be so stupid!? All this time, all this time... “ She then looks to you, her frustration then becoming sadness. “I mean, I didn’t even know where you were from until…” But what was unexpected, is that she didn’t break down crying this time. Instead, she looked to the both of you, and started to make commands “Alright then! Silver, Anon, I need suggestions on how to learn more about other ponies, like, right now!”
W-what?! Actually, she really didn’t know too much about you when you thought about it. Then again, there were parts of you she could never learn about until her attitude matured. And her fierce look, it looked like you had to give her something or she might shatter. But her demand itself, its not that hard to resolve. You really should give her more to go on at this point of the relationship since you already have to go through the madness that is a fake wedding. “Well, I mean, just hanging out with them is how to do it. You know everything about Silver, right? She’s your best friend, isn’t she?”
“She is!” Diamond suddenly points to her, startling her “Silver! I know everything about you, right?!”
“Agh! Um! Sure, mostly.” Silver says, her eyes shifting about as she collected herself from the shock.
“Mostly? Mostly?! I’ve known you for almost as long as I’ve lived! How do I only know ‘mostly’ about you?!” Diamond shouted, demanding an answer.
“U-uhh, umm. Well... “ Silver shrugged as she gave her a sheepish smile “I know we always do stuff together, but sometimes I kind of do things by myself. And sometimes… sometimes…” Silver hesitates, afraid to say her next set of words.
“Sometimes? Sometimes what?” Diamond approaches her, her tone becoming more inquisitive by the second
“Umm… Sometimes…” Silver’s ears fold in, as she brings her hoof to her mouth, biting at the edge of it until she finally blurts it out “sometimes I feel you’ll just make fun of some of the things I like, so I keep it a secret, ok!” She yelled, before ducking her head behind her forelegs “Y-you’re not mad, right?”
“No, in fact, I think I get it.” Diamond said as she once again thought on the subject “Ponies have insecurities and fears, and not everypony knows about everything when it comes to their friends. I’m not mad because I also had things I didn’t want to talk about. And I kind of acted out in the wrong way for the longest time because of it. So maybe I know enough about Anon for it to work out after all. But I also know that despite going to his house once, I didn’t really get to check it out too much. Daddy says you can learn a lot about a pony by the way they live, so it wouldn’t hurt to learn a little more about Anon, I’m sure there’s a few things I still need to know. Anon, that’s ok, right? I mean, you’re here in my mansion, so it’s ok if we hang out at your house, right?”
Uhhhh, is that even a good idea? Well, it wouldn’t be too bad if it was just your room. She seems to have things mostly figured out, so it wouldn’t hurt to maybe give her some more insight. Just gotta watch those window blinds. You’ll do it, but she’ll have to respect a few rules first. “Sure, why not? But there are a few rules you’d have to follow. My house can be kind of dangerous.”
“Dangerous? As in, the ‘get hurt’ kind of dangerous?” Silver said, feeling worried over your words. She didn’t like the sounds of that.
“Pfft” Diamond waved her hoof in dismissal “It’s not that dangerous, I’ve been there before.”
“You’ve been there before, yeah, but things have kind of changed. But the rules are also really simple to follow. All we have to do is stay in my room, and not open the window blinds. It won’t be dangerous if you both follow those two simple rules. My room has a some stuff I can show you if you really wanna learn about some other aspects about me, so it really is no issue.” You say, hoping to god they understand your rules. Well, you knew Silver did, but Diamond seemed rather miffed by such a thing.
“Why can’t we step outside? Or explore the rest of your house? You’re the son of chaos, Anon. When I said learn more about you, I not only meant about where you came from and what you do, but also how you live. I mean, your dad is Discord! And I’ve always wondered about things like, maybe…” She looks to you with an expression of suspecting something, and yet she cocked a smirk. “You’re a bit of a prankster like your dad? Hmmm? I’m right, aren’t I?”
Wut? Where did she even get such an idea? “I mean, erm, but I-”
Diamond’s smug look became smuggier when she held her hoof out towards you “Save it. if you think I didn’t take the chance to ask Princess Luna a few things about you, you’re wrong. She told me about what happened last Nightmare Night when I asked her about how you and your Dad get along. Don’t worry, I’m not mad, I know how bad it’d look if everypony knew you were capable of such mean pranks. I mean, a paint bucket over a door? Filled with some sort of skunk juice? Very naughty.”
WHAT?! You weren’t that bad! Ok, wait, no, you did just fuck with Luna pretty good. But wait… YOU’RE NOT THAT BAD A PRANKER! WHO EVEN DOES THE PAINT BUCKET OVER THE DOOR? Wait, you did? No you didn’t. Ugh, Luna must have told her some childified version of the real events of that battle. Though some of the details are a bit fuzzy to even you, you remember that damn Cazaclaw and Nightmare Galaxia or whatever her name was. “Ok, I admit, I do pranks from time to time. There is nothing wrong with that.”
Diamond nods “I agree, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Wut? She agrees? You’d think she’d find that a bad quality, or be mad you tried to prank the princesses at all. “You’re not mad about the fact that I prank ponies, erm, from time to time?”
“I’m just glad to know it’s true. At first I didn’t really believe it, and then I realized I didn’t care, AND THEN I realized I actually did care in the sense that it’s another thing I know about you. I don’t even think it’s that bad a thing, especially since the princesses also seem to be into it. Erm… not that it’s me wanting to be a princess, I’m over that, I just think it seems pretty cool. Maybe cool enough for me to um…” She looks over at you, her eyes seemingly begging for your approval “Try it once? With you?”
Hoo baby! Now we’re talking! Ok, before you get ahead of yourself, you need to realize there is a chance for her to either flake out mid-prank or just be really bad at it. But most importantly, you have to remember not to get her overly involved as well, especially with Discord becoming more daring with his own pranks. “Sure, but there’s really nopony to prank at the moment. As for coming to the house, if you REALLY want to explore it, then you both gotta stick really close to me. I can use the horn to get us out of a jam in case anything happens, but I need to know where you both are so I can be quick about it. Also, we won’t be exploring for long, this is just to learn the kind of place I live in, that’s all. After that, we go back in my room, talk a bit, and that’s it, got it? I'm not really willing to take it further than that.”
“I got it. I got to do something later with Daddy anyway, so just a short exploration is fine. Oh, now I’m excited! Now I get to really see how your house is like! You better be ready to answer all my questions, Anon. Because if it has anything to do with you, then I want to learn about it!”
“Well, actually... “ again, giving it some extra thought, there are a few issues with that “I rarely explore the house myself. Like I said, it’s kind of dangerous, so I stick to my room, the living room, and the basement”
“It’s because the other rooms are super dangerous, right? If that’s what it is, then I vote we just see the places that Anon has been in! I-I mean, like you said, we’re trying to learn more about him, no point in exploring the house if it has nothing to do with him, r-right?” Silver was clearly worried to be exploring any place that might actually be dangerous. She was in no way willing to risk her life in any capacity.
“That’d be cool if I knew how to get to some of them, they shift around from time to time. Even then, only a few are worth… or even safe, to go into. You know, really thinking about it, there really wouldn’t be much to learn about me unless we actually take a risk.” Really, upon thinking about it, if your fate was to be with Diamond, then she was going to have to get used to something that was chaotic in nature. But it also had to be safe. Well, if that’s the case, you’re gonna retract one of your other rules. Who knows, it might actually be fun to spook them. Is that mean to think of? Scaring two little fillies? Well, you really don’t want to spook Diamond too much, you just wanted to give her an idea of how things in your house really was. Silver though? Ehhhhhh… “Alright, I take back the window blinds thing. If you really want to learn about what I do in my own time, you’re gonna have to see what's behind it.”
“Is it really that important?” Diamond asked, skeptical on how something like that can be in any way relevant.
“Yep. Just know this, it’ll be pretty scary. But it’ll be ok, as long as nopony opens the window.” Showing them the X-Captain and the Storm King. Thinking about it, it filled you with pride. To you, they were pretty much living trophies. Accomplishments of things you managed to do. Well, maybe not the X-Captain, that was Chrysalis. But you definitely played a big part in taking down the Storm King. Showing them off. What could go wrong? “Got it?”
Silver, once again, did not like what she was hearing. “Are you serious? If it’s so dangerous, why keep it outside your window? Couldn’t it break in at anytime?”
But Diamond chimed in, curious and ready to see this mysterious danger. “Really? Come on, it’s totally obvious Anon has some barrier or something to keep it from going in. It’ll be fine, come on! Let’s go! Let’s go right now!”
“Diamond, a-are you sure? It kind of feels like, whatever it is, we shouldn’t get it mad or angry. I don't even feel like we should do any exploring either. A-Anon said it's not even worth it." Silver said, still shivering at the thought.
“Well, Silver, you’re welcome to stay if you’re scared. Really, I don’t mind it just being me and Diamond.” You then shrug, and act rather coy. Really, you wanted her to come at this point, this could be funny as fuck. “I really do understand that you’re too chicken for this.”
“Chicken? I-I’m not chicken!” She shouts, still scared, but unwilling to take such an insult. “I’m Diamond Tiara’s best friend! Anything she can handle, and you can handle, I can, like, totally handle!”
“Then it’s settled.” You say as you place your horn on your head. "Oh, Diamond, I have a new way of getting home now. Not much different than the map, but you might find it pretty neat. You remember how it works, right?”
“Mhmm, first you just make a spill, like this.” Diamond tips over the teapot, and makes a puddle on the floor. This, of course, weirds out Silver Spoon.
“Uhhh, I remember how this works and all. But won’t your mom and dad get angry that you stained their floor with tea?” Silver asked.
“No, it disappears when we jump in the portal. Right, Anon?” Diamond asks you, feeling no regret for what she did.
DID IT?! DID IT DISAPPEAR?! Oh cripes, you always jump through it so you never know if it actually disappears or if it gets cleared up. You begin to sweat, and let out an unsure “Y-yes?”
“See? It’s totally ok! So, how does it work now, Anon?” Diamond looks to you again, with big expecting eyes.
“Like this, it’s like real unicorn magic this time. I just aim the horn, and BAM!” And just like that, you open a portal to your room. “Doesn’t even waste a charge or anything.” Unfortunately, both ponies seemed rather unimpressed by this. It killed your enthusiasm pretty quickly. “W-what’s wrong?”
“Ummm, I mean, that’s just you using your horn to open the portal instead of the map. Really, it wasn’t that different.” Diamond says unapologetically.
“Yeah, you kind of made that seem like a really big thing, but it was just kinda the same. Huh, makes me wonder how bad that thing behind your window is.” Silver said, almost smugly, as if not only she was scared for nothing, but if she should make fun of you for making it seem so scary. "You exaggerate too much sometimes, Anon. Like, no offense, but when you're socializing with other ponies and you do that? You'll just make Diamond and yourself look bad."
You just grumble to yourself, silently saying “I’ll show you bad, you little...mngmhnm”
So there they were, in your room, looking around. Silver, having never been in your room before, was of course more curious than Diamond when it came to exploring your room. And yet, she seemed unimpressed. “Um, aside from the whole warm bed thing, this doesn’t seem really cool or chaotic. It just seems like a normal room to me, except for that weird clock and… Hmmm?” And then she came across it, the floor door. “Why do you have a door on the floor?”
“Because that’s how I get to the living room. The room isn’t really meant to be chaotic, Silver, it’s meant to be homey. I also wouldn’t try opening that door if I were you, most ponies tend to fall right through.” You tell her. You didn’t really care for her acting snooty, but you didn’t need her falling and hurting herself.
Diamond was going through your drawers, she noticed they weren’t really filled with any clothes, and one had a whole set of Power Pony cards. You remember getting them at your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, and then utterly forgetting them. “Anon, where’s your wedding tuxedo?” She asked.
“Erm, it’s not ready yet. But it will be, really soon. What, you have your dress ready already?” You ask. You don’t really know why, maybe it was because you felt you didn’t need to be that ready yet, and would feel more ok finding out she wasn’t ready either.
“Had it ready for weeks. Anon, come on” She turns to you, and pouts “You’re ready for the wedding, aren’t you?”
Ugh, never mind, of course she’d be ready. Why did you think otherwise? “I am, really! Even got a best stallion… Erm, who happens to be Scootaloo. That’s ok, right? I mean, there’s Spike, but I’m not as close to him as I am Scoots.” If there was one thing you had to thank Discord for, was setting you up with at least that. Really, he was more ready for the wedding than you were… Kind of scary, really.
“I… Guess? Well, it isn’t meant to be perfect. But you better be ready with a proper ‘best stallion’ when we actually get married, got that?” She doesn’t say it too harshly, really, she just found it off you had a filly filling in for the spot.
This girl, it made you smile a little how much she wanted this test wedding to go not perfectly, if only to get her hopes up for the real thing. “I got it… Anyway, girls, this here is the window I was talking about. But prepare yourselves, for what lies behind these blinds is a chaotic being of such horrible proportions that you will scream in fright.” You approach the blinds, then wave your hooves at the girls to emphasize how frightful the experience it might be. You also realize you sounded like Trixie there, or perhaps like Flim and Flam. Ergh, how could you resist being show offy with something like this? It’s pretty big stuff.
Diamond just sat down a few feet away from you, excited, and with a gentle smile. Silver sat next to her, skeptical, and not expecting much. The way she looked, her expression of boredom, you hated it, and couldn’t wait to show her your great trophy.
“Are you two ready?” You ask, trying to sound all grand about it.
“Ready!” Diamond says with enthusiasm, holding her hoof out in an adorable fashion.
“Yup, I’m ready.” Silver just waited, this time not being a cunt, but not all excited either.
“Alright then, here...we...GO!” You move the blinds aside to reveal the giant floating mass that was the X-Captain. But just your luck, it seems he was turned around, because what you saw was the Storm King, who was seemingly moving tentacles on his own, and was tossing and catching a rock he was was bouncing off your window.
“Ewww! What is that?!” Rather than frightened, Silver Spoon was grossed out. Of course she was, anyone would be. The Storm King’s head wasn’t anything frightening when all he is now is a pimple on a round eldritch horror’s ass.
“Hey! HEY!” The Storm King yelled as he missed the stone he was tossing, causing it to bounce off his body and drop downwards into the abyss below him “C’mon, really!? I just learn I can control this body when the screwball is asleep and you’re gonna bother me now!? I was at five hundred thousand bounces too! never gonna beat that record, I’ll tell you that.” The Storm King groaned, frustrated that of all times. Now is the time you choose to open the window blinds.
“I-is that… Is that the Storm King? Anon, why is the Storm King outside your window, and why is he a ball thing?” Diamond was confused, she never would have guessed that you would have someone like him even close to your vicinity.
You really wish he showed up AFTER scaring Silver with the X-Captain. Still, she was at least disgusted, and surprised. “That’s the Storm King?! Why is he even here?! I thought he broke into a million pieces! Anon, like, he’s a really bad guy! Are you… working with him or something?”
But before you can reply, the Storm King lets out a horrendous laugh, as if that was some sort of joke to him “Hahaha! Are you serious?! Work with that pipsqueak? Look, I have no idea what's going on here, but you’re two sensible little fillies, right? As in, you know right from wrong? Well, haha…” Then suddenly, he started yelling frantically, and in a panic “GO TELL SOMEONE, ANYONE, THAT THIS CRAZY KID HAS ME LOCKED UP OUT HERE! LISTEN, EVERYDAY, EVERY STINKIN’ DAY, I GOTTA LISTEN TO THIS MEATBALL SCREAM ABOUT HIS REVENGE. I’M TIRED OF IT! I DON’T EVEN WANT REVENGE ANYMORE! YOUR PRINCESSES WOULDN’T SUBJECT ANYONE TO THIS! SO WHY DO I HAVE TO?! I’M BEGGING YOU! I’M SORRY, ALRIGHT?! HELP-” But his pleas are cut off when you close the blinds. Holy shit! You did not expect that!
Both Diamond and Silver looked bewildered. What they saw was the cries of a pathetic hasbeen king begging for mercy, something you didn’t even expect after his earlier claims of wanting to end you. Diamond looked to you, shocked and worried about what she just saw. “Anon? W-what was that? What did you do to him?”
Why did you detect a hint of empathy? Did she feel bad for him? No way, not only is he evil, but that plea for mercy was total garbage. “I personally punished him. What? What’s the matter? The guy was a tyrant who was going to blow up Canterlot just because he wanted to be dramatic, so I imprisoned him on the body of this other guy who is just as bad, and nearly destroyed me.”
“Another guy? Is that what he meant by ‘meatball’?” Silver wondered, then speculated on what it all meant “Anon, are you,like, keeping bad guys as pets? Isn’t that unethical?”
“Erm, not really. They can’t get through my window, or even leave the chaos dimension. Plus, its just two of them attached to a single body. And again, they totally deserve it. You both understand that, right? I mean, look at Tirek, that guy is meant to be imprisoned forever in Tartarus, right? Same thing! Bad guys are not meant to get rewards, they are meant to be punished, which is exactly what I’m doing. Except my way has to do with really horrible guys, like him.” You explained it the best you could, while in the back of your mind, you wondered why you had to justify this at all, they fucking deserved it!
Diamond looked unsure about the whole thing, and rather uncomfortable. But you could also see she was debating with herself. She knew he tried to hurt you, hurt your friends, and destroy the very capital of Equestria. That seemed like a pretty hefty crime in and of itself. And then, to her, you were her partner, someone she knew she should stand by. And so she stood up, and nodded, deciding that the Storm King did indeed deserve to suffer whatever you did to him. “You’re right, Anon! He’s a bad guy! Besides, I shouldn’t even jump to conclusions, I should have known you were right the moment I saw him. He even said he wanted revenge on you, clearly he’s still evil and needs to be punished!”
And Silver seemed to follow suit, if a bit reluctant about it. “I totally agree, but don’t the bad guys usually just continue to be evil? He was begging us to help him, and he seemed to want to be a better guy.”
“So?” And Diamond, being loyal to you, begins to argue with Silver over that line of reasoning. “That doesn’t mean anything. Look at… Erm, look at…” She had to think hard about her next set of words, clearly she was trying to come up with a good counter point. “Anon’s Dad! Discord. He said he was reformed too, and he still betrayed everyp-” Suddenly Diamond grimaced, not only due to the fact she was insulting her future father-in-law, but because… “ummm… Yeah, and then he was forgiven. And he's actually a pretty great guy.”
Oof, despite that being pretty bullshit, as Discord didn’t really deserve the forgiveness he got, you also know that Chrysalis probably deserved to suffer a similar fate to the X-Captain, as far as your logic was concerned. But they didn’t know the truth about that, so you didn’t need to worry about that point being brought up. “I mean, he was tricked, and didn’t understand friendship despite wanting it from my Aunt. The Storm King is not only as bad as Tirek, but he’s as bad as Sombra too, and that guy didn’t even get imprisoned the second time, he got straight up blown up! The same thing the Storm King was gonna do to all of us if I didn’t help stop him. He doesn’t care about friendship, he just wants a free ride out of here.” Again, the fact you had to justify this was insane. And yet, you were glad Diamond had your back on it. Hell, you were surprised Silver had an actual moral fiber. Then again, she’s a stooge who follows anything Diamond does, so she must have become more moralistic when Diamond started to.
“It makes sense to me. See, Silver? How can you argue that?” Diamond asks, nodding her head in a dominant fashion.
“I guess that makes sense. I just, I dunno, sometimes I think about the times we made fun of Applebloom and her friends, we totally did that a lot, and we kind of got away with it in the end. I was just thinking maybe he’s not so bad. But if he is, then that other guy must be just as bad, right? I mean, the Storm King even apologized, that seems like he wants to make things right.”
Was this bitch fucking serious? Fine, fuck it, she wants to wonder about the ‘other guy’? Then you’ll show him to them both. Given the X-Captain’s eternal rage and great lunacy, they’ll have to see, for sure, that what you did was right. The guy is a menace that you could never let free, and you need to make sure they both understand that one hundred percent. “Trust me, he’s pretty bad. In fact, let me wake him up, and you’ll see exactly why they're stuck in this dimension.”
And with that, you had the girls sit down and prepare themselves once again. What you planned to do was just yell out for the guy, surely he would hear you and turn around before the Storm King could say anything. Once the girls see this asshole, they’ll see that you’re in the right, for sure.
However, when you do move the blinds, it already seemed the work was done for you. The X-Captain was pressing his entire body on the window, sliding and scraping his tongue on the glass as his horrible yellow gaze fell upon the girls, his sharp teeth glistening with his saliva “Anoooon, you brought treeeats, hahahaHAHAHA!” He cackled in delight.
“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Silver shrieked in pure fright, her grey coat becoming pure white. While the Storm King just looked like a head on a sphere, the X-Captain was truly a horrifying sight that you have since become accustomed to. “I DON’T WANT TO BE EATEN!” She screamed and ran towards the bed to hide under it. But, so blinded by her own fear, she ends up smashing her face onto the bed post and walking back in a daze, walking onto your floor door. When she snapped out of it, she made another yell, opened the floor door, and like the ponies before her, seemed to forget that a door on a floor would lead to a fall. And man, did it never get old for you as you heard her shriek and plummet with a thud.
Now, for Diamond, you would have caught her if she somehow ended up making that mistake. But she didn’t seem scared, nor did she act it, she just stared at him, intrigued and rather angry. “Hey! That’s my best friend you just scared! You jerk!”
“Scare? I didn’t do that to scare, I really do plan to eat you, him, and everypony in my future kingdom. And tell me, why aren’t you scared? Don’t you realize that your destruction is guaranteed once I am free of this place? Or are you a blockhead like Anon?” He says with a low and cruel chuckle.
“Oh pleeeeeeeeeeease, you’re just a floating beach ball with teeth. I already know you can’t get in here, you’re Anon’s prisoner after all. You can’t do anything. So there! Hmph! Now apologize.” Diamond raised her nose to him, finding him a disgusting sort and already not worth her time. Really, her bravery was kind of cute. Normally, especially when she was an ass, seeing something so grotesque would have scared her. You must have really been leaving a mark on her at this point.
“PRISONER?! APOLOGIZE?!” The X-Captain’s eye turned red with rage, unable to handle both the demand and the great insult “HOW DARE YOU! I AM-”
But then Diamond, suddenly releasing a rage of her own, hops up and starts screaming in a girlishly shrill voice. “NO! HOW DARE YOU! I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BUT IT WAS OBVIOUSLY BAD ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU OUT THERE! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW PATHETIC YOU LOOK?! SCREAMING ALL THAT ABOUT BEING A KING WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THROUGH A WINDOW?!”
The X-Captain’s eye went back to yellow, suddenly disarmed from being yelled at. He opened his mouth and raised a tentacle to try to say more or interrupt her. But Diamond was having none of that. “I AM NOT DONE! IT’S OBVIOUS TO ME THAT YOU’RE JUST A RUDE AND THOUGHTLESS BALL THING THAT TOTALLY IS SO FULL OF HIMSELF THAT HE CAN’T EVEN SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF HIS ONE STUPID EYE! WHO ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO IMPRESS, OR EVEN SCARE?! YOU MUST BE ALONE OUT THERE, LIKE, NINETY NINE PERCENT OF THE TIME! AND EVEN THEN, FOR THAT ONE PERCENT, EVEN ANON THINKS YOU’RE A DRIP! BIG, BAD, AND UTTERLY STUPID! WHY DON’T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?! NOPONY CARES ABOUT YOU, NOPONY CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, AND EVEN THE STORM KING THINKS YOU’RE DUMB! SO STOP THINKING YOU’RE SCARY, BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT! AND GET A LIFE, YOU LOSER! YOU’RE A LOSER, AND YOU’LL ALWAYS BE A LOSER! FOREVER!” Diamond finally ended her rant, breathing hard, panting, furious that something like that filled her friend with fright and threatened you in any capacity.
You just… stopped. You blinked, expressionless, and looked over to the X-Captain, who had fallen silent. The X-Captain himself just stared at her, silent, stunned, and unable to speak. Then slowly, his yellow eye began to turn a dark blue as it filled with tears. And then finally, he began to sob and cry. “You didn’t have to be so mean about it! I-I was trying my best! Being a horrible mutant thirsting for domination is really hard when you can’t even… even…” Then suddenly he became wracked with grief as he brought his tentacles to his eyes, crying harder as he thought about her words “You’re right! I can’t even get through the window! But what else am I supposed to do? I already tried reading the books that float around here, and they don’t help, all I want to do is get revenge and rule the world. Is that so wrong? I know it is, but I just want it soooo bad! Why can’t anypony understand that?”
“It’s not that hard to understand, it’s just really wrong and nopony wants to be ruled over by a jerk like you! Everypony gets it, you’re a bad monster, but you’re a bad monster who will NEVER rule anything because you’re trapped here, by my partner, because you’re an evil loser who can’t even get through the window! Now go be stupid somewhere else!” Diamond barked at him, and pointed towards him, to imply to leave.
“I-I… I… I… NGWAAAAAA!” The X-Captain became hysterical at this point, and flew off, crying. Hell, you could have sworn you heard him call Diamond a meanie, as if he was just a stupid child.
Diamond just nodded, wiped her brow, and took a small breath “Whew, I sure showed him. Big jerk, who does he think he is scaring Silver like that? Right, Anon?”
Did… That just happen? That wasn’t real, how could that be real? Wut? “Uhhh-uhh, Y-y-yeah. You really weren’t scared of him?”
“Well, at first, I kind of was. But then he scared Silver so badly that she ended up hurting herself, and then he insulted you! I just couldn’t let that fly. It’s not like he could hurt any of us, right?” She asks, feeling proud of herself.
“U-Uhhm, yeah, he couldn’t really do anything from out there.” It really did happen, holy fucking shit.
“And that’s why I realized there was nothing to be afraid of, because I trusted your word. If you say he can’t hurt us, then I’m going to believe it. The guy is just full of hot air anyway, a real lame brain. Oh! Erm…” Suddenly, she gets a bit sheepish. “We better make sure Silver is ok.”
Amazing, simply amazing. You had never seen the X-Captain so defeated before. And his eye, it changed blue for some reason, as if to represent the intense feeling of sadness. It made you wonder then, did it turn red when he was in an intense rage? You’ve seen it happen, no question, but you could have sworn that was just his blood gathering into his eye or something. “Diamond, that was pretty cool. I’ve never seen him bend like that. I’ve taunted him before and all it ever did was make him angry, how’d you do that?” No seriously, how did she do that?
Diamond opens the floor door, but waits, and looks to you with a cheery yet cocky smile “I just told him how things were, It’s something I’ve always been able to do. Though…” She frowns for just a moment, lamenting her past misdeeds “It wasn’t all for the better though, sometimes I just really hurt ponies who didn’t deserve it. But now? I’m much better at it, and he clearly deserved to know that he’s just a no good and rotten evil ball.”
Huh, you should be pretty good at that too, right? It makes you wonder how you never managed it. Must be because you’re not a girl or something. “I see, well, heh, gotta remember to really stay away from your bad side then.”
“Oh, Anon” Diamond giggles “You never make me angry, so that isn’t anything for you to… wait, where’s Silver Spoon?” Diamond looks down through the threshold, but there was no filly in sight.
You felt a quick prick of fear, feeling she may have run off or even tried leaving the house through the front door. But just as you felt that startling feeling, it is quelled when you start hearing, what sounded like, movie previews. “I um… What’s that noise?”
You both decide to carefully descend the invisible gravity stairs. Luckily for you, it seemed you didn’t need to remind Diamond how to use them. When you both reached the bottom of the living room, you both saw Discord himself, sitting on his couch, watching a big screen tv with surround sound. It seemed he was watching some sort of movie preview about himself. But the most notable thing about this was that he had Silver Spoon held close to his side as he pointed to the screen. “I can’t wait for this one to come out. Who doesn’t enjoy an epic adventure story about a Draconequus and his dog?”
Silver however, was squirming, trying to escape, scared out of her wits. When she eyed the both of you, she couldn’t even get her words out, but her lips could be read as “Help me…”
Diamond however, was all too happy to see Discord, and was especially curious as to what he was doing. “Daddy Discord! Hi!” Diamond said in an especially cute manner, obviously vying for his attention. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, enjoying my movie, that’s all. Just recently came out on Blu-ray and I wanted to watch it on my big tv. And look, even your friend was curious too! She’s simply stunned at my amazing setup!” Discord said jovially.
“Um, I think she’s just really scared. Did you just pick her off the ground and sit her next to you or something?” The poor thing, you didn’t mean for her to get scared that much. She looked like she could faint at any moment.
“Of course not! I greeted her, hugged her, then picked her off the ground. I’m a gracious host, you know that! Although…” Discord curves his head to look at Silver, who ducks her own head and begs him not to hurt her “She does seem rather distraught. Ugh…” Discord grabs his remote and pauses the screen as he plucks Silver and sets her down on the floor “No use watching the movie if she’s just gonna go looney at any second. I know Anon has seen it on the silver screen, but Diamond, would you care to watch it with me? I promise it’ll be quite hilarious. Call it a father-daughter bonding. You’re invited too, of course.” Discord said as his eyes shifted to you “And don’t hesitate to ask for snacks. I have plenty for everypony!”
Silver rushed over and ducked behind Diamond, stuttering frightfully in her speech “H-he’s off h-h-his r-r-rocker! W-we gotta g-g-g-go home!”
“Oh, relax.” Diamond said with an eye roll “He’s just being himself.” She then looks to Discord with a smile “What movie are we watching? And what is all this? I’ve never seen a theater screen like that before, where’s the projector? And what’s a blue ray?”
“Oh, just a few things from Anon’s old place, if you know what I mean. As for the movie, it’s a-” OH holy shit no, you interrupt Discord before he could finish that sentence. The prank on Twilight? You knew for sure that’d upset Diamond.
“Ummm! Actually, we don’t have time for that! Maybe we can go back upstairs and check out…” Check out what, Anon? You fucking looked at everything already. Something Diamond notes as well.
“What’s more to check out? I want to watch the movie with you and your dad, it can be a family kind of thing.” Diamond says, curious as to what the movie even is, and enthralled by Discord’s set up.
“Yes, Anon, why wouldn’t you want to watch a movie where I prank Princess Twilight. Like a true expert, I might add.” Discord says, immediately getting into what the movie was before you could cut him off again.
“Oh no…” You whisper to yourself. Why is he doing this?
“You pranked Princess Twilight? Why would you do that?” Diamond, still curious, sounded a little hurt that Discord would do such a thing. Her voice becoming meek due to the words he had said.
“Why else?” Discord shrugs “It’s fun! Oh, come on, Diamond Tiara. I do know you are curious about our family doings and all that. And Twilight herself can be quite the prude who could use a good prank every now and again. Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t expect I, Discord, the master of chaos and fun, to not do such a thing? Would you denounce me for even thinking it?”
“Actually… No, I wouldn’t.” Diamond said, as she slowly began to approach him. “I did say I wanted to try it myself. I just never thought anypony would treat pranking Princess Twilight so lightly. That actually sounds…” She stops for a moment, reaches the couch, climbs up, and sits next to him, facing the screen “Really fun! A princess’s life is usually pretty boring after all, so I don’t think there’s any harm in it. Anon, why didn’t you tell me you pranked Princess Twilight?” Diamond asked you.
“Oh, he didn’t. This was all purely on me, I just provided him a good place to watch it. I would think he would tell you about it though. He had so much fun watching it, so it hurts me, just hurts me right here…” He points to a boil on his neck “to know Anon wouldn’t tell you such a thing in the first place. Or the fact he messed with Princess Luna last night. Got her good too, with just his words.” Discord then looked to you, as his eyes subtly glowed green as his head became vaguely like Chrysalis for a second “I wonder what other things he hasn’t told you”
“Luna? Other things? Anon, what is he talking about? What other things? If it’s just you pranking other ponies, I-I don’t mind. I’d like to hear about it, actually. As long as it’s not too mean of course.” Diamond now looked worried, and you were fucking pissed. For a moment, you almost thought he was Chrysalis. But given the home theater system, you knew that was him.
“Diamond, I need to talk to my Dad for a moment. Just for a moment, please? I’ll be right back.” Stay calm, Anon, don’t get tense. He has to have some reason he’s doing this to you all of a sudden. “Dad, if you don’t mind, please?”
“Oh, very well. Seems you don’t seem to understand what I mean anyway. Here girls” Discord snaps his talons, producing a huge bowl of popcorn on the floor. “Enjoy, I’ll be back in a minute or two and we can enjoy the show!” And with a snap of his tail fur, and before Diamond could interject, you are transported to an open and beautiful field of green grass and clear blue skies. Discord appears at your side, and takes a deep breath “Ahhh! Smell that air! Enough to calm you down and make you realize you’re being idiotic. That’s towards you, by the way.”
“Towards me?!” The serene scenery and Discord’s nonsense was doing nothing for your temper “The fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you telling her about last night like that?!”
“Well, I figured you didn’t tell her everything that happened. And given you both are supposed to be so close, it’s concerning she doesn’t know about your old bug friend. Even the crusaders know about her. What do you think would happen if you waited and waited and waited, and she found out some other way about it. A blurb there, a blurt here, it would really sour the relationship.” Discord said calmly as he began to rest on his back in mid air.
“Y’know, if Fluttershy didn’t already know, you’d fucking kill yourself before admitting you put me in danger with her.” You remind him
He falls to the ground with a grunt, then coughs nervously “Well, erm, that’s a tad grim, isn’t it? Besides, it wouldn’t be ok just to tell her straight out, it would have shattered her”
“But it’s totally ok to freak Diamond out, right? I have it fucking handled and you just suddenly want to fuck everything up! Even then, how am I supposed to explain to her that I was friends with Chrysalis?! Huh? Why even bring that shit up? It’s not that easy!” You bark at him, furious at his behavior.
“Well, aren’t we rude? Then again, I was going to take all the credit for the idea myself. But…” Discord stands up, and turns away from you as he ponders and mutters to himself “Why did I even listen to her?”
And you managed to catch all of that. Take credit? Her? Wut? “Discord, what the hell are you talking about? Take credit for what? Who is her? You don’t mean…” Fuck, did he run into Chrysalis? And worse, was he doing what she was saying for some reason?
“Twilight Two? Oh, what’s her name? Ahh, Starlight, yes, that’s it. This was all her completely garbage idea! I went to recruit her, we got into a conversation, and she basically told me that she was worried about the whole thing and felt you should tell Diamond sooner rather than later or something like that, I can’t remember the full details.” Discord said as he began to clean his ear with his talons.
WHAT?! STARLIGHT?! “So what you’re telling me is, instead of doing exactly what she said, or better yet, not doing anything at all, YOU DECIDED TO HALF ASS IT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”
“Oh, we all know the answer to that one. But if it means that much to you, we could just check with her and find out exactly what she meant.” Discord raises his talons as he prepares to snap “Ta-Da!” And he snaps them, causing a flash of light, and then Starlight to appear.
“...And you just thrust it forward, like this! And it should discourage whatever monster or crazy animal that might want to eat you for lunch.” Starlight, unaware of what just happened, seemed to have either been teaching a class or just a group of ponies how to use the taser. Too bad for you, when she appeared, she was right in the middle of thrusting the taser forward and right at you with her magic.
“WGDSAFRGRASRGFDGYAH!” Oh shit! Holy crap! That stung like a bitch! You spasmed from the shock before falling over, your mane frizzled, and your leg twitching “Agh! Ogh! I’m dead! I’m freaking dead!”
“Anon?! Oh my gosh! What are you doing there?! I didn’t even know you were with that caravan I was teac… Wait a second.” She looks around, and notices she was in an open field rather than the town. When she realized this, she grimaced, and sighed “Let me guess, you just decided to rush into things…” She then turns her head until she spots Discord, giving him a sour look “Didn’t you?”
“U-ugh, s-still feeling numb here…” You said as some sparks fizzled off from your mane. Even as Starlight helped you up and dusted you off, she didn’t pull her stare away from Discord.
“Can you blame me? Your explanation was so incredibly boring and nonsensical that it was better to get things over with right away. Besides, I only came to tell you about what to do for the wedding, not a lecture.” Discord, in his usual form, felt insulted by Starlight’s words.
After Starlight fixes your mane, she gently stands you up, then turns to Discord, her patience waning. “Don’t give me that! You came to me, worried, that something could go wrong and that I was the only one Anon knew who could help him in a pinch in case something happened. You told me you were afraid of her asking more personal questions as the wedding came closer. And what did I tell you?” Starlight asked, tapping her hoof on the ground as she awaited his answer.
“I dunno” Discord shrugged
Starlight’s eyes nearly flared up from anger as she shouted at him, furious at his nonchalance “I TOLD THAT CHRYSALIS WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY REAL BIG THING HE SHOULD TELL HER! AND I TOLD YOU TO HELP HIM THROUGH IT!”
Discord just calmly yawns, and flicks his ear with his talon “Excuse me, what was that? You totally lost me there for a moment.” Discord shrugged with a smirk “I mean, had you not suggested anything at all, Anon wouldn’t be in this mess, now would he?
“GRRRR, GMMNNN, mnnngh!” Starlight was fuming, about to shout his name. But unlike Twilight, she managed to calm herself when she thought about the more important matter of making sure things don’t blow up on you. So, she turns to you, and hopes you are willing to listen. “Anon, look, I know he is paying attention, and I know he’s only being a jerk because he wanted to prove some kind of stupid point. He just wants to prove not saying anything at all ‘is the best option’, but I know in my heart he wouldn’t just abandon you. So, please, just convince him, before I use my taser on him.”
You were in no forgiving mood yourself after what he did. You knew what he was doing, even if he himself didn’t weigh the consequences. He wanted to prove Starlight wrong by showing things would go wrong by mentioning something, not realizing how much shit it’d put you in. Well then, even if he would help you in the end, he’s going to need a rather stern talking to. “Oh no, I totally get it. Thanks for making things clear though, Starlight.” You then turn your head towards Discord, you weren’t having this. “Discord, you’re my pal, and chaos buddy. But you decided to step over the line like a total douche. You owe me your help at this point, you got that? That means not disappearing on me just because you felt you did enough. You gotta be there the whole way through.”
Discord groans, he hated being told that he owed anything to anyone, even you in situations like this. “And why should I? As I tried to tell Starlight, telling Diamond anything at all could ruin everything you have with her. Yes, I got lucky when it came to Fluttershy, but that just doesn’t happen twice in a row. And she needs to see that. So I ask again, why?”
You look at him, deep, serious, and even with a hateful sort of gaze. “Because I will never forgive you for ruining her heart like that, and even ruining my relationship with her family. They’re good ponies, Discord. Do you understand me? I really mean it, and I know deep down, you are terrified of that.”
Discord stopped, like, frozen in time. Then began to shatter from the bottom up until his bodily shards littered the ground. And yet, his voice could still be heard. “Y-you’d really hate me over something like that? No…” You didn’t even need to answer as he began to realize what he did wrong. “Of course you would, even Fluttershy wouldn’t talk to me for quite some time if I didn’t see this through. For you two to hate me. Yes, that would be worse than losing an argument.” And with that, time reversed on his fallen form, his shattered body reforming right back to here it had broken. “I apologize for being difficult. And to you, Starlight. I should have paid attention.”
“It’s alright, Discord.” It did take quite a bit of energy for Starlight to let this one go, given how assholish his motives were. But she knew how he was like, and knew, in the end, he didn’t mean any real harm. “Just, be more mindful of other ponies feelings, ok? At least when it comes to serious stuff like this.”
“Indeed, I will keep that in mind. Oh, and Anon” Discord tapped his talons and paws together sheepishly, his voice meek “We’re still chaos buddies, right? I-I do mean it, I’ll help you through this all the way. I understand how important this is to you.”
You took a breath, calming yourself, and look to him with a small smile and a slow nod. “Yeah, we’re still chaos buddies. Just don’t be shifty or cryptic about this either, alright? I want to get through this without any hassles. Please?”
“Noted, you will have no hassles out of me” Discord says with a courteous bow before turning to Starlight “I very much thank you for your time, Starlight. And as thanks, I present to you a token of my appreciation. It’s a blu-ray copy of my movie! Y’know, to preserve the moment for everypony, something I deem as very important when it comes to alicorn affairs.!”
“A what ray? You mean, a film reel? It looks pretty small” Starlight looks at it curiously, and gives it a tap. “Not that I wouldn’t mind having it, I know Trixie would still get a kick out of it.”
Discord closes his paw, and chuckles as he holds his talons over his forehead “Oh silly me, I forgot you need a television and a Blu-Ray player as well. I’ll have those magically delivered with some instructions as soon as I am able.”
“I uh… Ok. It sounds like more human technology though, which I wouldn’t mind having a look at, so I’ll be ready.” Starlight says
“I’m sure you will, ta-ta for now!” Discord says as he prepares a snap of his talons. “I have a son to help!”
“Goodbye Discord. And goodbye Anon, good luck! Though, I know you won’t need it.” Starlight waves to you.
And with a goodbye to all, you and Discord prepare yourselves to confront Diamond with the truth.
And so, there you both stood, in your room, ready to descend the gravity stairs to tell the truth of what happened with Chrysalis to a little foal who may not understand. Discord looked down at you, showing a fatherly expression on his usually smug face as he gave you a head pat. “Are you ready to face your destiny, Anon?”
Those words, it felt a little too over dramatic and annoying to you. “Do you have to say it like that? You make it feel like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do”
Discord shrugs, obviously not understanding what you meant. “What? Destiny doesn’t mean the end, it’s simply a course of events that usually lead to a foretold path.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re really gonna help me with this though, right?” You ask him, wanting to make sure he was going to keep his word. “No poofing away?”
“Yes, Anon, Yes!” Discord groans as he throws his arms up in the air in frustration “You and Starlight made it very clear how important this is. I may like to toy with you from time to time, but I understand the gravity…” Discord flattens into the ground at a quick pace, becoming a puddle “Of the situation. You can count on me” He says as he reverts back to his usual self.
“Yeah…” You say, partly to yourself, as a thought clicks in your head. “Y’know, Discord. I’m gonna be serious with you this time. Why don’t you marry Fluttershy?”
“Oh… This again.” Discord says with a groan, annoyed by the question “Must we do this now? You already know Fluttershy and I are friends. Friends who enjoy tea together. Friends who will have a picnic together every now and again…”
“Friends that if she was in danger and you knew, you’d probably raise hell just to get her back safe and sound.” You add to his list, not even smugly, but rather seriously in tone.
“Friends that if she was in danger and I knew, I’d probab… Hold on.” Discord stops, taps the air a little bit, then realizes what you were leading him into. He then begins to wiggle his talon at you dismissively “Anon, no, just no.”
“Even though you WOULD do that?” Now you begin to get a little brave and cocky as you look at him with a smirk.
“Mnnngh.” Discord crossed his arms at you, and grit his teeth as he spoke “You know I would.”
“Then? You obviously love her.” C’mon Discord, why did he have to be so stubborn?
“Noooo, I am obviously her best friend is what you mean. Higher than Twilight even, if I do say so myself.” Discord says, arms still crossed, nodding his head in assurance.
“Discord, think about it. If you married her, then you could live with her and everyone else wouldn’t be able to say shit about it. Every night, she’d be there waiting for you, ready to cuddle with you and massage your head to help you sleep. And besides, I wouldn’t mind having a little sister or brother. It would be pretty cool to teach a younger version of you and Fluttershy a few human tricks.” Yeah, that actually sounded pretty alright.
Discord took a deep breath, put his paw and talons together, brought them to his forehead, then pointed at you with a serious look. “One, Fluttershy can cuddle with me just fine. Two, I don’t care what her friends think-” But you cut him off right there.
“Right, that’s why you didn’t bring me here in the first place, right? Because you didn’t care what others thought? What her friends think? I mean, we did harass Twilight about it.” You remind him
He takes another deep breath, and starts to growl as he speaks “Three, producing a child would require acts I’d rather not think about. And four, I’m fine with just one child. That child being you, Anon, my son.”
Fine with one child? You? Ergh, you had to put a hoof to your chest. Sure, he’s said this many times before. But for him to put you over what would essentially be his child by blood, it stunned you there for a moment. “You mean, I’m good enough to be considered, like, your birth son?”
“Yes, Anon” Discord calms himself, and puts his paw on your shoulder as he leans down to look at you “You are. You are an expert at chaos, you treat Fluttershy with as much respect as I would, you treat Twilight with as much respect as I would, and most of all…” He then gives you a cheeky grin “You really are a child, always whining about something, so what else could I consider you?”
Ugh, you walked right into that one. Still, that was a really nice thought. You let out a light hearted chuckle as you nudge your leg into him. “Alright, alright, fine, I’ll drop it. So, um, we should probably go down now before she gets antsy about us”
“Indeed” Discord says as he begins to slither through the open door, downwards towards the living room. “Allow me to go first, I think it’ll soften the blow when she starts inevitably jumping to conclusions.”
“After you, dad” You say, with a polite bow, as you follow down after him.
As Discord and you entered the living room, Diamond Tiara stood at the ready, flustered, with her patience strong but wearing thin. Silver Spoon was… Wait, where was she?
“Where did you two go?” Diamond asked, looking sour that she was just left there without much of a word. “I want to know. Something fishy is going on now, and I want to know what it is.”
Discord stops, and bows to her apologetically “I’m sorry, my dear, I was just making sure everything was just right for what Anon and I are about to tell you. As for the fish part, well, I do have a failed aquarium somewhere in this house if you’d like to see it.”
That’s when you noticed it, the large popcorn bowl started to shake as if frightened by Discord’s words. That was probably where Silver Spoon was hiding. “Diamond, ummm. Is Silver Spoon in there?” You point to the popcorn bowl, and await her answer.
“Yes, now tell me what’s going on.” Diamond said, as her patience began to waver even further.
“Diamond!” Silver Spoon popped her head out, startled and angry that she had been called out. “W-why would you t-t-tell them where I am!? That film box thing, it wants to eat me, I know it! That’s why it went running around the house!”
The fuck? Actually, when you looked around, you did notice the TV was missing. Then Discord himself began to chuckle as he put a paw to his cheek and shook his head. “Oh, oh, my my my. You really can’t sit foals in front of the television these days. I’m guessing it saw her as a rich pony and tried to sell her something in earnest.”
Diamond nodded “Mhmm, it tried to sell us both something, actually. Something about sets of boxes and,like, ten seasons. Pretty sure we only have four so I don’t know what it was talking about. Then when Silver hid, it started running around looking for her, and now it’s just gone. I have no idea where it went.”
“Diamond! Shhhh!” Silver Spoon ducked her head, shaking as she darted her eyes about “It’ll hear you.”
If the situation wasn’t as touchy as it was, you’d laugh. But at this point, Silver was just being annoying and a detriment to the situation. “Silver, do you just want to go home?” You ask her.
“Y-Yes! D-Diamond, C-can I go home, please? T-this really has nothing to do with me, right? Right?” Silver looked to her friend with big frightened eyes as tears slowly began to flow from them.
Diamond could see it too, her friend was simply too afraid to take the insanity of the house any further. Although, to you, everything that has happened has really been rather standard and mundane. Diamond nods, then looks to Discord. “Can you send her home, please?”
Discord nods, and doesn’t hesitate to snap her away. You’d think he’d do one last thing to terrorize her, but it seemed he really was going to take this seriously. “Your wish is my command.”
And with that, Diamond planted her butt on the ground, and looked to the both of you with a demanding stare. “So is anypony going to tell me what’s going on? Why is everypony is being so secretive?”
You take a moment to compose yourself. Here you go, Anon, about to tell her something that might shatter her. But before you could say anything, Discord steps forward, and holds his paw towards you to keep you from stepping forward, as he really did mean to start this first. “Again, my apologies, but the story you’re about to hear will be quite a doozy. So…” Discord points to Diamond, lifting her up gently with his magic as she lets out a small 'eep'. He places her slowly on the couch, right on top of a pillow. She didn’t seem startled for long as she quickly made herself comfortable, laid on her belly, and continued her stare. “There we are, comfy?”
Diamond just narrows her eyes at him, and says in an inquisitive tone “Stop stalling, or are you trying to hide something from me?”
“Oooh, things have gotten rather serious, haven’t they? Then again, I suppose I would be acting the same way if things suddenly seemed so mysterious and ominous. Well, Diamond, what do you think about Queen Chrysalis?” Discord asked
“Queen Chrysalis? I thought this was about Luna.” Diamond, said, confused as to what Discord could have meant by that.
“Ahh, we’ll get to that eventually. But this is much more important. So again, what do you think of her?” Discord asks, taking things more seriously than you anticipated.
“Easy, she tricked everypony, including Anon, and tried to take over Equestria. But that King Thorax guy managed to make all the changelings good with what he learned from the princesses. Then Queen Chrysalis somehow escaped… Wait” Diamond came to a realization “Do you guys know where she is? If you do, you have to let me know! I want to give her a piece of my mind! Using Anon like that? Using me? And everypony else too! That’s just despicable!”
You look to Discord, wondering if you should speak. But he just holds a single talon to you, and prepares his next set of words. “Well, your attitude on that might change when I tell you there was a little more to it than that. Furthermore, that you have no reason to get angry at Anon at all about it, as it was my decision that caused all of it to happen in the first place.”
“Cause all of what? And what do you mean get mad at Anon? Why would I get mad at Anon? Even I was fooled when she was acting like his sister, so I could see how he’d get fooled too. D-daddy Discord, why are you even blaming yourself? Is that the secret? That you blamed yourself for everything that happened? Because I can tell you, that is totally not true!” Diamond said, shocked that Discord himself would blame himself for something, that she felt, was out of his control. Even she knew how manipulative and evil Chrysalis could be. Well, from what she had been told and what she felt anyway.
“Diamond, it’s a little more than that.” You finally take your chance to take the lead, and decide to just start with one of the biggest bombs of the conversation. “I knew Chrysalis way before she showed up as my sister, I was living with her before that.”
“WHAT?!” Diamond said, shocked and even appalled by your words. “You knew her before she was your sister?! What’s that supposed to mean?! Wait…” Diamond’s expression became venomous, soul piercing, and full of anger. Hell, it almost felt she could eat your damn soul with the way she was growling. “You didn’t fall for that hussie, did you?!”
“What?! No! Never! That’s not what happened! I didn’t fall for her, not even once!” Well, you did, but it wasn’t that kind of relationship! “Diamond, I tried to help her! Geh! “ Wait that sounds even worse! “I mean, Help, as in, reform her! Like how Aunt Fluttershy helped reform my Dad!”
“It’s true.” Discord said with a calm shrug “Don’t get mad at him, little Diamond, I did force the both of them to be roomies of a sort for my own personal amusement. And then things changed, odd friendships were formed, worlds were saved, and things were actually more pleasant than one would think. We even got a demented mutant pet out of it, but that is neither here nor there.”
“B-but… Why, how, when?” Diamond went from angry, to hurt. To know you were friends with such a vile creature, to have even maybe colluded with her, all behind her back. She didn’t know what to think. “She’s like, the most evil thing in Equestria. Why would Anon ever try to help her? Even her hive hates her. So why?”
“Diamond, things aren’t so black and white when it comes to all that. Look, relax, please? Let us tell you everything, from the beginning to the now, and then hopefully you’ll understand.” And so, began one of the hardest moments you had in this world. Explaining to a very volatile foal your relationship with an evil tyrannical queen. You and Discord took turns explaining to her nearly every detail that was pertinent and safe for her ears about what went on between you and Chrysalis. Discord even called back the TV to show visual representations, all acted out by alternate versions of himself, of what you and Chrysalis would do together. You both answered all of Diamond’s questions the best you could, and kept her calm on any moment that sounded more shady than it ever had any right to be. Hell, Discord even got the bright idea to have most of what happened in the other Equestria played out through the television, still acted out by other Discords. But even with that performance played out by silly looking Draconequus, one moment stook out to Diamond that pierced her heart. A moment she had to ask about after it was all over. “W-was that supposed to be Daddy? The guy in that car thing? S-so, he really did lose me and mother? T-that’s not an act?”
“Yeah, I know I mentioned it to you before. But this is how it really went down. Even I don’t know what’s happened to him now. But I’m pretty sure he has to be ok. Thanks to me and Chrysalis, and everypony that helped out.” You explain to her, and notice she was starting to get it. She looked sad, but she looked like she was beginning to understand as she just stood there, thinking.
“Hmmm, mnnnn…” Diamond murmured to herself before looking upon the two of you again. “Keep going. B-because it sounds like she was just having trouble being good because she was just used to being evil so much. B-but then, why would she pretend to be your sister? And why would she still want to rule Equestria after helping save one? And that other Chrysalis, she didn’t seem so bad… so erm… Erm… I-I dunno what else to think about, it’s all so confusing.” She really didn’t seem to know what to think about everything she has heard thus far.
“Relax, my dear, relax.” Discord slowly approached her, and began to gently massage behind her ear. You notice Diamond ease her head into his scratching talons slowly, but then went back to a depressive slump as her thoughts began to trouble her once more. “Now then, as to the whole sister fiasco. Well, that would also be my fault…” And again, the explanations continued. This time going into Chrysalis’s goals, how she also saved your life from the X-Captain, and even the fact she actually had a form of respect for you and Diamond’s relationship. Even the fact, that in some way, you really did see her as a sister, and that it hurt you that you couldn’t do more for her and help her see that being evil was a pointless endeavor at that point. The more the both of you spoke, the more Diamond seemed to calm down, nodding along with all your words.
Then finally, it came to an end. “And that’s what happened. So erm, if you have any questions… Y’know…” You were nervous at this point. She was calm, her eyes somewhat watery from the sadder moments, but still she was calm, and most likely processing everything Discord and you told her. “I-I mean, if you’re angry with me, I’m sorry but… mnnn” You hang your head in shame, you really should have told her, given the fact that in the end, she was going to be the one you would marry.
“As I said, you shouldn’t be angry at him. Not all beings that were and are still evil are as refined as I am. It was simply too much for either of us to handle. As much as I hate to admit it, even my charms failed to win her over.” Discord says, trying to act rather humbly as he speaks in your defense.
“I’m actually not angry.” Diamond said, plainly, calm, and collected.
“What?!” Both you and Discord said in unison “You’re not?!”
“No, why would I? You both explained it pretty good. Daddy Discord, you went and pulled a bad trick on Anon because you don’t know any better.” And then Diamond looked to you, as her eyes became ever sharper, a venomous glare that made you take a step back “And the only dumb thing Anon did was not even tell me that I let one of the evilest evil bad guys into my house.” Diamond then hopped off the couch as she stepped towards you, her eyes never leaving your own “Nope, I’m not mad at all about any of it. I’m not even mad at Queen Chrysalis, since it looked like she really was trying to be good in some ways, which I’ll get to in a second. No, the one thing I’m mad about is…” Suddenly her glare becomes fiery as she gives you a heavy slap on the cheek “THE FACT YOU DIDN’T LET ME HELP, YOU DUMBY!”
You nearly fell to your side on that one. Damn, she hits hard when she’s angry, you had trouble re-orienting yourself from that.
When Discord was about to say something, she turned to him, still filled with rage “AND YOU TOO! EVERYPONY KNEW! THE CRUSADERS KNEW! THE PRINCESSES KNEW! BUT I DIDN’T?! I COULD HAVE HELPED! DO YOU BOTH NOT REALIZE SHE COULD HAVE EASILY GOTTEN TO HER HIVE, LIKE, AT ANYTIME?!”
Both you and Discord were silent. Holy shit, she was on a tirade. And what did she mean she could have escaped at anytime? Chrysalis herself said she couldn’t, so how could Diamond just say that? “I mean… Erm, like we said. She was pretty much stuck, and we could track her movements.”
Diamond then angrily points at Discord “Except I know that he doesn’t like to do actual work most of the time, and you weren’t checking that map twenty four seven! If she really wanted to leave, then she could have just convinced some wagon pulled by some strong stallions to take her where she needed to go, with some sob story as to WHY she needed to go there! Uggggh! How could you have not thought of that?!” Diamond groaned angrily as she brought her hoof to her forehead “Boys, I swear, sometimes they can be so dumb! She taught you to dance, Anon, TO DANCE! WITH ME! SHE WAS ACTUALLY TRYING! I COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER!” She growled at you, stomping up to you again as she pointed directly at your face “SHE REALLY WAS PLAYING A GAME WITH YOU! GIRLS DO IT ALL THE TIME! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?!”
You shifted your eyes left and right, shaking and sweating, and just shrugged.
“Ugh, I just can’t believe anypony didn't tell me. I know even the princesses wanted it to be a secret, but come on! I mean, they totally aren’t innocent either. Ok, maybe the changelings becoming good was a good thing, but Queen Chrysalis could have probably become good too with a little more time AND WITH MY HELP! Anon, just... “ She gives you a lighter slap this time, as she begins to wind-down, and start to sniffle and cry, until finally hugging onto you, weak “You could have told me, she didn’t seem so bad, she kind of felt like a real sister to me too…”
You just gently nuzzle onto her, letting her rest on your side. You had no idea she felt that way, nor had you ever considered Chrysalis truly had a chance to escape her confinement. Was she just blind to it? Or was she just trying to find a reason to stay a captive. If Diamond really felt this way, you really should have said something. But really, how could you have known she would have been this ok with it? “I’m sorry, Diamond. I didn’t really know what to do either, y’know? I had a lot of pressure on me, I didn’t even want the Crusaders to find out either, it just sort of happened.”
“I know, I just wish I had known. I guess I kind of cared about her too, even if she was just acting as your sister. I-I mean, if I’m wrong, then she really does need to be imprisoned. But you don’t think she’s one hundred percent bad, do you? Do you think she could still be reformed? You said she tried to save you during the test, that’s a good sign, right?” She asks as she continues to nuzzle onto you, now hugging onto you to support herself.
“Yeah, I think there’s still a chance. I really didn’t expect you to care this much either, Diamond. Everypony else pretty much wants her gone, even her own children.” This was true, even the changelings, sans Scrappy, wanted her to be gone forever.
“I know, and that’s sad to me. If she is anything like that other Chrysalis, then she really does care about them, even if it’s an evil kind of caring. Moms always care about their foals, even if they don’t know how to act themselves… Kind of how Mother used to be. I can’t imagine how hurt I’d feel if my foals suddenly just hated me. I just feel kind of bad for her too, even if what happened was a good thing for them.” Again, Diamond was pretty much right on that. Those were her kids after all, and she was fucking pissed when they all basically turned on her. She was always the first to infiltrate, always for their sake, just to provide them food. Even if your heart is evil, you still have to have one to care about such a thing.
“Yeah, you’re right, Diamond. If I see her again, and I can get something set up, I promise to let you help. But only if it’s safe. I don’t know what her state of mind is, but if she wants to confront me over what happened, or vice versa, I still have to make sure everything is ok before I involve everypony else, alright?” You gently rub your hoof through her mane, to help her calm down.
“Alright, I trust you. Please, don’t break your promise, alright?” She asks, with a small whimper.
While the conversation seemed to have gone rather well, it did seem to tucker Diamond out emotionally enough to want to make her go home and skip out on both the movie and the explanation of Luna. She wasn’t mind shattered or anything of the sort, it was just a lot to take in and she wanted to sort things out herself. She also asked if you could take her home, something you jumped on immediately so you wouldn’t upset her further. Discord was even kind enough to open a portal directly to her house, in front of her front door. Though, in her emotional state, she chose to hang back with you for a moment, to nuzzle into you and talk. “Anon, how do you do it?”
What? “Do it? Do what?”
“Y’know… balance your life like you do. I’m only hearing about Chrysalis and it’s got me all shaken up, but you had to live it and you don’t seem tired at all. You have had to go through so many things, and yet you still manage to keep going like it’s nothing. So… how do you do it?” She asks again as she closes her eyes, her head settling on your side.
“Always been this way, I guess. Living with Dad helped a lot, but truthfully, I was kind of used to chaos before I even came to Equestria. Things can get tough, but I can usually work it out…. Usually.” That was as truthful an answer as you can give. As long as something was in your favor, you always had a way to make it work. Well, you felt so anyway.
“You are really amazing to be able to handle all that then...mmmm” Diamond let out a love filled sigh “I’m glad that I am with you, for always and forever. Oh!” Diamond suddenly raised her head, as some adrenaline seemed to seep into her body and will. “You do have your vows ready, right? That’s super duper important! It is our future promises after all.”
SHIT! You didn’t have them ready at all! But wait, why are you worried? You still had time, and it’s always easy to come up with sappy shit. “Totally, I have it all set and ready to go. It’s gonna be perfect.” You say with a confident but dishonest smile.
“No, Anon, No!” Diamond whapped your head gently as she berated you, her face suddenly have a cute sense of anger about it. “Not perfect! It has to be ‘just ok’! How can you have perfect vows for the real wedding if you already said them at the fake one? Trim that fat, mister, and make sure your vows are subpar, got it?” Diamond stared hard at you, awaiting your answer.
Uhhhh, errr. Well, at least it made planning your vows that much easier… you guess. Still, she can get so scary sometimes despite being a cute little filly. “I-I meant perfect imperfect! Eheh.”
“Good!” Diamond leans forward, and plants a kiss on your nose before reeling back with a blush on her face, her smile becoming somewhat goofy “Y-you have a good day then, I-I think I’ll just take a small nap, then do some more planning when I wake up, and check up on Silver too. Remember, don’t make your vows perfect.”
“Trust me, I got it covered already. You have a good nap, my sweet. I’m gonna go see if I can scrounge something up to do myself.” Really, your stuff to do was kind of at zero today, you had no idea what to actually do.
“Ok, my love.” Diamond says with a little giggle as she knocked on her door, and awaited an answer. As for you, you gave her a wave, and headed out through the front gates to see if there was anything else you could do for the day.
“Greetings, Anon. I’m glad the spot I chose to wait at was-?!” Suddenly, a voice from behind started to speak to you without you realizing its presence. You end up jumping to the side and slamming your head to the outer gate wall of the mansion grounds and falling to your side. “Anon! I… Are you alright?”
Holy fuck! That came out of fucking nowhere! Hell, it had been such a while since you last bonked your head, probably a day or two, that you actually somewhat felt that. “Ngh, who in the…” You get up rubbing your head with your hoof, only to be staring at the head of the EEA himself, Chancellor Neighsay. Oh booooyyy. You straighten yourself out, and try to get answers while seeming polite “Chancellor Neighsay… Uh, not to sound rude but, why are you here and… being creepy?” Nailed it!
Chancellor Neighsay, surprisingly, was being more polite than he was last time, even a little humble. “My apologies, with the eve of Twilight’s school opening upon us, I decided to seek you out for another mission while also finding out the results of your findings on the changelings since I didn’t receive a letter from you”
Wut? “Another mission? Um, I dunno, I mean, the changelings weren’t up to anything at all, so that ended up being a bust. It’s why I didn’t send a letter… Because you said not to send a letter if I couldn’t find anything.” What is up with this guy? Seriously, not a word from him ever during every other incident, but a school opens up and suddenly everything not a pony needs to be dead, or something like that. And was he really just walking around Ponyville looking for you all this time? Nah, he must have had some way of detecting you or having some idea of where you’d be. “And even then, aren't you an education guy? Shouldn’t these kinds of investigations be left to Celestia or Luna?”
Whatever humble or pleasant formalities Neighsay was willing to show went out the window with your line of questioning as his expression became a look of disappointment and annoyance. “Yes, well, we’ve all seen how well they’ve been able to handle situations like these as of late. As for being an ‘education guy’, that is indeed what I am, but of a much higher order and a deep sense of preservation, love, and duty to protect our fair land of Equestria from those who’d see it destroyed. It saddens me to see you not taking things as seriously as I hoped, and makes me wonder how well a job you even did investigating the changelings, and your commitment to protecting those who need it.”
Now you felt insulted. You did a damned good job checking up on those technicolor pussies, and you already saved Equestria before, two of them in fact, so where did he get off?! “Excuse me, sir, but I put my hundred percent in making sure Equestria didn’t get taken over by the likes of the Storm King, or even Ponyville being destroyed by that gold scaled whatevertooth dragon...guy. Look, I went over there and they weren’t up to anything. Heck, I doubt they are capable of taking down a single rabbit with the way they are now. Without their queen, they are as weak and docile as a foal. You have my word on this. It’s not that I’m even defending them, they are just kind of pathetic, if you wanted my truthful opinion”
“Pathetic… I see.” Neighsay said with a nod, as he seemed to re-evaluate the situation. It seemed he didn’t expect you to say something so harsh, or as harsh a pony would expect. “Perhaps I was wrong about your commitment. Which is why I ask you to do this one last investigation for me, Anon, I need to make sure there isn’t some sort of hidden plan to destroy Equestria. And if the changelings are not planning anything, then perhaps the Dragons are, especially with some information I happened to pick up. Given your run in with the Diamondtooth, I imagine you’ll jump at the chance to see what the dragons are possibly scheming.”
New information? Dammit, you really didn't feel like feeding into this guy’s propaganda and looney conspiracies. But again, if Equestria has a chance of being in danger, and you’re in the know of it, then you can’t just say no. “I might, I wasn’t aware they had the capacity to scheme at all. Always seemed rather dumb to me” You say this for two reasons; to stay on his good side, and because dragons did seem pretty damn stupid.
Neighsay’s tone becomes more pleasant to you, but he doesn’t chuckle or laugh arrogantly like you thought he would. “Indeed, but there is always that chance. Princess Twilight had sent a letter a few days ago to their princess. I don’t know the contents of this letter per se, but it seems quite suspicious to me. I want you to find out what it might contain, and what the dragons are up to, that is all. However, I want you to be discreet about this. We are trying to prevent a war, not start one. I assume, with your magic, you have a way of disguising yourself?”
“I do, and... “ Bah, he didn’t even ask if you actually agreed to it all. Whatever, don’t mention it and shift to something else “What if I turn up with nothing? Plus, I know I’m great and all, but don’t you have any agents or anypony that could have done this? At all? Like not even one guy?”
“No, and it shames me to have to seek a colt’s help for such an endeavor. But you aren’t just any colt, and have proven yourself enough for me to trust in your skills. I shall await your return by your aunt’s cottage. As I understand it, she’s not home, so it will be a safe place for a debriefing. Don’t let me down, Anon, you’re the only one I can trust.” Neighysay says, his tone showing that he actually meant it.
“No problem, I won’t let you down.” You tell him as you place the horn on your head, already figuring out your plan of infiltration “Just no more skulking around me after this, alright? It’s kind of creepy.”
“You have my word, as I’m sure we’ll be too busy dealing with the school soon after, should anything go awry. I mean it, good luck, and stay safe, those dragons won’t hesitate to attack you for stepping on their lands. In fact, I could, perhaps, quickly teach you how to use an artifact I own to make an escape.” He really did seem to trust you, as you’d think whatever artifact he’s talking about might be of great power. Then again, your horn was probably one of the most broken and overpowered ‘artifacts’ there ever was.
“Nah, I’m good, my horn is pretty all-purpose in that regard, even in escapes. Besides, I won’t be caught, so don’t you worry.” You tell him, feeling confident of yourself.
“Right, but I felt I had to take some precautions in case the worst happened. Well then, I shan’t underestimate you again.” Neighsay says
“Trust me, I got this, inside and out. I’ll just go in, check the place out, go out, no problem.” Really, it shouldn’t be that difficult with the proper disguise. Dragons really did seem rather stupid.
“I hope so”
With that, you bid Neighsay a goodbye as you focused your first magical charge of the day to take you to the dragon lands. And oh boy, what a place it was, exactly as you remember it from the show. Barren, volcanic, boiling, with the sea beyond the high mountains. You then took a look at yourself, to see the disguise you had donned on yourself during the warp. You were standing upright, and had bright green scales with charred black edges. You also had spikes going along your back with the same charred motif, though the spikes were a darker green color. Your mouth was longer and pointy, with sharp teeth, but most of all…
“Ahh dammit…” You say as you look at your puny claws and down to the ground, noticing how close it is. “I’m puny, I fucking overdid it”
Chapter 53 - Princess Ember and the Smoldering Dilemma
Welp, you were here, now what do you do? You take a moment to look around the area once more. Yep, still barren, with some dragons flying around or sparring with each other and some others taking dips in the small pools of lava. All of this seemed normal enough, for a dragon anyway. Still, you were going to have to finally find and meet this Princess Ember and see if you could find out what kind of letter Twilight sent to her.
You decide to begin walking around, looking for any sign of the princess. You had no idea where to look, but then again, it didn’t help you weren’t asking around either. But why would you when every dragon here was ugly,pushy, and downright mean? Fuck that shit, you didn’t need one of them noticing your size and calling you puny or some shit like that. You climbed boulders, looked in craters, and slid down declines, but so far you hadn’t been able to find anything. “Where is this bitch? I just wanna do this and ge-WOAH!” And with one misstep, you end up hurtling down a rather steep cliff, smacking your head on boulders as you make your way down the side of a small mountain towards a beach. “AGH! OOF! CRIPES!”
You finally hit the ground, creating a small crater of your body within the sand. You lift your head, dizzy, bruised, and mouth full of sand. Upon spitting it out, you look back in a daze to see how far you fell. It was pretty high, you also noticed a green pair of wings behind you with charred tips… OH GODDAMMIT! “F-fucking…..n-ngh…” Had you known you had wings, you would have… goddamn it, that sucks. You stand up and start to brush yourself off as you mutter angrily. Then you hear it, a voice coming from a cave behind you, and it sounded angry.
You could hear a dragon bitching at some other dragon. What about? Was it a secret? Was this what you were looking for? You decide to venture inside the cave, following the angry voice. Upon making a turn through the open tunnel, you saw… OH SHIT, IT’S THAT GOLD DRAGON GUY YOU BEAT UP! You duck behind a large pair of rocks, trying to calm your now rapid breath. Given the yelling hadn’t stopped, you could surmise you weren’t caught. You slowly look beyond the rocks to see what was going on. That dragon, he seemed rather upset as this small,blue, sleek, and...hot dragon, especially with those sizzling red eyes. She was flying around him at eye level. Even with her downward horns and leaf ended tail, she looked… Holy crap, you didn’t realize how hot dragons could be. Too bad she was super angry looking right now, it actually unnerved you to see that gold dragon upset and scared by such a small dragon. Then again, you also notice her wielding some sort of scepter, did that mean…?
“So let me make sure I got this clear. You left your gem, which you have a million of back in your cave, out in the middle of nowhere. Then somecreature took it and it ended up in a pony bowling alley, which you decided to track down the entire way there despite the fact it was your fault you left the gem out there for anycreature to take. Then, instead of asking for it nicely, since you know, WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE PONIES! Ahrm…” The blue dragon calmed herself from explosive anger back to her loud agitated tone “You decide to destroy the bowling alley and attack a colt. A colt, I might add, that kicked your butt so hard that you cried the whole day. Incen, I am really REALLY angry right now. Not only for the fact that you decided to just attack our allies for the dumbest reason, but you totally got crushed by like… what, a six year old or something? There’s making us look bad, and then there’s making us look like a bunch of fuzzy bunnies.”
The gold scaled dragon, who was now meekly tapping his claws together, looked to the blue dragon with a pathetic expression “Yeah, but that gem was really tasty, and that colt was the hero colt for sure! I mean, I could have taken him if I was full and-” But Incen was cut off by another burst of anger from the blue dragon as she pointed her scepter at him.
“HEY, WORM FOR BRAINS! WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ATTACKING PONIES AT ALL! THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS, F-R-I-E-N-D-S, FRIENDS!” The blue dragon then smacked his forehead a few times with the scepter “That means we don’t hurt them, and even try to help them if they can’t help themselves, which surprisingly, a lot of them can! How many times do I need to explain this to all of you!? Geez! I know we hated everycreature for like, ever, but that was then and this is now, and I just want everycreature to just make nice. There are plenty of other losers in this world in need of a real thrashing; I’m talking real big jerks like that Tirek guy. So here’s the deal, Incen, if I hear about you attacking any of those ponies again, I’m going to take your gem hoard myself and give it to a bunch of carpenters, are we clear?” The blue dragon said as she awaited his response
Incen gasped, horrified from what he heard “You wouldn’t! They don’t even eat the gems! They use it as decoration! DECORATION! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! GEMS ARE NOT A CHAIR!” Incen cried, wiping his eyes as he wept incessantly.
“Sheesh, this is just embarrassing. Just get out of here, and remember what I said.” The blue dragon sighed as she pointed to the exit of the cave.
“Y-yes, Princess Ember...ngh...Carpenters, ngh, they don’t even let you eat from their houses. I-it’s not like taking one gem would cause it to fall apart… Nghhhmmm” Incen said with a whine as he stomped out of the cave, still crying from Ember’s threats.
“What a baby” Ember huffed as she hovered down to the ground “Ok kid, come on out, it ain’t cool to eavesdrop on private conversations, you know. The guy has already suffered enough, well, maybe not enough. But as princess, I gotta draw a line somewhere.”
Fuck! She knew you were there the entire time?! Ok, play it cool, Anon, try to gain this cutie’s respect. You slowly slide out from the side of the rocks, acting confident. “Heya, yeah, about that, I was just walking around and just ended up in this cave. Didn’t even know what that’s all about, but it ain’t my business. So, uh, you’re Princess Ember, right? Lookin’ cool”
Ember just raises an eyebrow at you, finding you rather odd “Yeah, sure, ok then.” She was in disbelief that you seemed so ignorant to the point she didn’t really believe you “So you weren’t sneaking around to find out how badly I was chewing out Incen just so you could run back to Garble and his… Wait” Ember steps up to you, crouches down to about your eye level, and narrows her eyes towards you “I’ve never actually seen you before. And you’re way too puny to be hanging out with any of the tougher dragons. What’s your name, squirt?”
“Uhhh-uhmmm” Shit! You didn’t actually think of a name for yourself. Luckily, pop culture has given you many a cool dragon names to use for such an occasion. “I’m uh, Trogdor! The Burninator!”
“Ohhhheewww” Ember grimaced, even her arms shivered as if she just experienced something wretched “Definitely not hanging with any of the tougher dragons. Look, er, Trogdor? I am the princess, you know that. I could totally give you a new official name that won’t get you beaten up by like, everycreature. Because seriously? Even squirrels would laugh at you.”
The hell?! What was wrong with the name?! “What do you mean?! That name is wicked cool!”
“Yeah, sure. Look, I’m serious. How about, Burner? Or Grimstone! Yeah, that’s much better than... whatever you want to call that.” She actually felt sorry for you, as if that name was really that bad. Ugh, dragons just have no taste.
“I’m fine” You say with a grumble
“Not really, but whatever. Look, why are you really here? Can’t be for sightseeing, and it really can’t be to bully Incen, so what is it? Did you just want to talk to me about something?” Ember asked, keeping her patience, as she still felt rather sorry for you.
To talk? TO TALK! PERFECT! You can now use this opportunity to find out all the information you need. “Yeah actually, I heard a rumor something was gonna happen soon that was pony related? I dunno if it’s a good or a bad thing. But…” You kneel, acting polite “For you, Princess Ember, I will act as needed.”
“Oooook, now you’re just getting creepy. Relax, alright? Yeah, there’s something going on but it isn’t anything you have to worry about. It’s more of a matter of friendship. You know, that whole thing I’ve been wanting us all to try. If you heard some rumor about something, then you gotta know about that friendship school, right?” Ember asks you
“Princess Twilight’s school that’s opening up? Yeah, I heard about that”
“Well, there’s a dragon named Smolder I’m gonna enroll in the school. She’s pretty cool, but she’s got a bit of a mean streak that I feel is just her putting up a front. I want her to learn everything there is about friendship, and y’know, hopefully the others will follow. Though, making it public did start to get her messed with by the other dragons, and I kind of feel bad for that. Don’t peg me as mushy though, it’s totally not like that, It’s just, y’know...stuff.” Ember admitted, trying to act aloof and tough about it, when really, she was kind of showing that dragons did have a heart.
Huh, that actually kind of tugged at your heart for some reason. You were ready to write dragons off as major assholes altogether, but this sexy dragon chick, she didn’t seem as bad as the other dragons from the show. And although you haven’t met Smolder, if she’s another candidate like Ocellus, then she might be worth checking out… For reasons. Hey, you had good reasons! She sounded like she needed a friend! “I mean, I could go see how she’s doing, maybe be her friend if it’s really that bad.”
“You’re not gonna mock her or anything, right? Because dragons don’t typically say that kind of thing. Again, kinda creepy. Then again, with a name like that, Well…” Ember sighed and walked over to you, leaning down a bit to give you a pat “Gonna guess you’re probably looking for a friend yourself. Well, Trogdor, I would appreci- er, I give you permission to do that. She’s probably around somewhere, I think she was hanging out with Garble’s gang, something about a magma splash contest.”
“No, I’m not like that. And thanks, for the permission and for talking with me. Now I know why you’re the princess” You say with a grin, she really was kind of cool. And oh, even her headpats was kind of nice.
Ember shoots you a wink and a finger point “You know it, now get out of here, I gotta practice my rock smashing. Been kind of reading th- Just get out before I talk anymore. Already gotta do some writing too, and I really hate that.” Ember says, shooing you away out of the cave.
Well, that was actually a pleasant experience. And Ember was as cool as she was blue. But this Smolder girl, you wondered what kind of dragon she was if she was hanging out with Garble. You remember him from the show, well, that one episode of the show. He was a red dragon with yellow spikes and a bad and nasty attitude. So obviously he wasn’t a good influence when it came to friendship. Though, you had to really wonder why you cared so much as well. Was it due to Neighsay? Ok, sure, you shared some of his sentiments. But this didn’t seem as bad as he made it out to be, nor as much as you thought it could be. Relax, Anon, you’re not out of the woods yet. Ember was a princess, it was her duty to play it cool. But this Smolder can be a real bitch.
Using your wings, you slowly fly up to the sky to scan the area around you. There were many dragons around, flying and doing stupid shit, but you just needed to find some sort of lava pool and….there we go, you spot a group of dragons diving in a lava pool near the volcano in the distance. You decide to fly in low towards their position, and upon getting there, hide behind a few rocks yet again to listen in on what was going on… Hopefully not getting noticed this time.
“And that’s how you do a magma splash boys, pay up, I’m starving here!” There he was, Garble, simmering in the magma. He must have been one of the dragons that just dived in. Having seen the lava splash, it did seem rather impressive. There were a few other dragons, they all seemed rather miffed that they lost some sort of bet as they started pulling out gems. But then, a small orangish dragon with a yellow underbelly and purple spikes stepped up, her light blue eyes filled with anger and determination.
“Hey! I didn’t get my turn yet, Garble. What’s up with that?!” She said with a stomp
“I already told you, you already lost since you’re going to be hanging out with ponies. Besides, you weren’t gonna beat that anyway. Just give me your gems already and save yourself the embarrassment” Garble said, relaxing himself, laying back as if it was all good.
“I told you! I’m not ok with even going to that stupid school! And I’m not giving you anything until you let me have a try! Or are you scared I might be better than you?” The dragon said in a mocking tone. Huh, that had to be Smolder. And once again, unlike the other dragons, she was kind of cute.
Garble suddenly growled as he crawled out of the magma pool “Ain’t no dragon here who is better at this than I am. Fine, give it your best shot, so we can all laugh at you.” Garble said, already tapping his foot with impatience.
“Gladly, just make sure to have your gems ready.” Smolder said as she crouched down, flapping her wings hard as she jetted off into the sky “Here I come!” She said as she began to spin downwards into the lava. And true to her word, the splash she made was colossal. She sprang up from the magma, with a cheery smile, and held out her claws. “And there we go, the perfect splash. Pay up! You lost.”
“Nah, not really…” Garble said, feeling unsure and defeated as he shifted his eyes. Then a cruel smile was planted on his face as he looked to his friends. “Because you still lose points for being a sissy dragon.”
“A sissy what now?! Listen Garble, I won fair and square! Give me your gems and admit I’m better than you!” Smolder growled as she stepped out of the pool, demanding and furious as Garble played it cool.
“Since when do dragons care about ‘fair and square’? Wow, You really aren’t a cool dragon. Especially since you’re going to that school, so that means you lose points. Isn’t that right, guys?” Garble says as he gives a fierce glare to the other dragons. And of course, in typical fashion, they all start to agree with him out of either respect or fear, probably fear, or maybe they really were as much of a jerk as he was.
“Are you kidding me?! I still made the bigg-.....” But Smolder stopped when she could see on everyone’s faces that they weren’t going to change their minds. But it also only served to make her angrier “How about we see how fast I can knock you to the ground? How about that, huh?”
“You wanna go, Smolder? Come on then, bring it! Oh wait, hah, can’t even fight ya.” Garble says with a chuckle, looking at her arrogantly. “I mean, I would, but then the princess would get all up in my face. Not that I’m scared, but I like having a place to live, you understand. You’re the princess’ chosen one, the one who’s going to be all nice and proper when she gets back”
Smolder smacked her knuckles together as smoke started to flow from her nose “She doesn’t have to know.” She was really itching for a fight here, as if she really hated that comment more than she should.
“She doesn’t, but she will. But I’ll be nice, you can keep your gems… If you admit that I’m better than you.” Garble says, crossing his arms as he awaited her answer.
Smolder was shaking her fists. It was clear she just wanted to deck the guy, but she was holding back, as if there seemed to be some weight to his words. Smolder took her gems, and threw them at Garble’s face. It stunned him, but he was still pleased. Smolder kept in her rage as she started to turn around “Take em, I’m never gonna say you’re better than me.” Smolder says as she starts to flap her wings, hovering upwards to fly away.
“Whatever, I still got what I want.” Garble said as he began to laugh, the other dragons joining him as Smolder flies off.
Shit, maybe you should have jumped in and said something. But given your current look, it probably would have made things worse. Still, Smolder was separating herself from the group. You could fly after her; yeah, that is exactly what you’ll do. Make sure she’s ok, and help her out. It wouldn’t be just for her. That Garble, you wanted to make him pay.
You followed Smolder up the higher end of a volcanic mountain, flying low to stay unnoticed as she growled and grumbled her entire flight. There was a long cliff she had flown up to let her frustrations out, pacing and grumbling about how much of a moron Garble was. You yourself was not spotted through any of this, probably because she was so fixated on her anger. You found a smaller cliff above her, and watched stealthily as she paced and complained. “... He thinks he’s so great! He’s gotten shown up before, so what is he even talking about?! It’s not like I wanted to go to that school either! Ugh, why was I even picked?! Just being nominated ruined my cred with everycreature else! Ughhh…mnnn” Smolder began to calm down, and became melancholic as she sat at the edge of the cliff. She rested her head on her hand, and kicked her legs to and fro “I bet if I clobbered that hero colt before Garble could, they’d see me as the coolest dragon ever. I mean, it’s not like I care or anything, but there is that huge pot going on, wouldn’t mind having all those gems.” She then sighs “But what are the chances of even having a shot at the guy?”
Well now, that is interesting. You’d think you’d feel worried, but you actually felt rather honored that there seemed to be some bet going on involving you. You don’t really know why though, and what the stakes really are. As for Smolder herself, the situation made you wonder something. Spike, as a whole, was a pacified dragon already, so it was easy to befriend him. You wondered if you’d be able to make friends with Smolder, a dragon who has yet to meet any pony. Considering how Garble treated her, and Neighsay’s own bias, you wouldn’t mind seeing how things would go. You slowly pop your head out, and wave “Hey! Hey! Up here!”
“And then I, wha?” Smolder looked up, and spotted you. She seemed startled for a moment before angrily pointing up at you “Hey you! What are you doing up there, huh!?”
You open your wings and hop off the cliff, slowly hovering down towards Smolder so you could calmly and coolly introduce yourself “I was following you actually. I saw the way Garble was treating you and thought it was wrong, your splash really was the best.”
Before anything else, Smolder seemed caught offguard by your overall appearance “Oh geez, you’re tiny. But uh, thanks? It was the best but… uh” Smolder really seemed uncomfortable with your presence “Hold on, are you saying you followed me all the way up here for no real good reason? Just to say how good my splash was?”
You nod “Mhmm”
“Creepy…” Smolder said, weirded out by both your casual nature and the fact you followed her
“What’s so creepy about that? I just wanted to let you know that I thought you were right, and that your splash was great!” You said, with a cheery smile.
“So you’re telling me you don’t see what’s so creepy about following anycreature sneakily like that? Or even complimenting them? You do know you’re a dragon, right? Since when did any dragon care about how another one feels?I mean besides Princess Ember” Smolder asked, both intrigued and a tad mortified by your state of mind.
You were about to answer, until your eyes popped open and your body stiffened at the thought that you had no answer for the former question. Given how pedo pony dracula seemed to follow you, you had no right to say sneaking around wasn’t creepy. As for the latter question. “Ok, I’ll give you that first one. But for the second? Come on, are you really gonna ask that after what you just went through? I feel your plight, and I want to help you out in anyway I can. Garble is jerk, but you’re not, right?”
Smolder just looked at you like you were the oddest and craziest dragon on the planet. “You’re right, he is a jerk. And, ergh, how am I even supposed to answer that? I can be a jerk, I’m a great jerk and...ngh! Why do you want to help anyway?! I didn’t ask for it, so the only reason is that you want something from me. What is it? Gems? Because I’m not giving any.” She crossed her arms at you, standing her ground as she looked down on you like you were nothing. But that hesitation in her speech, you knew what trope this was, she wasn’t fully serious about her stance.
“Don’t want any, I just wanna help…” Yes, yes, you do start to develop quite an idea on how to make this all work. An idea that works in befriending Smolder and teaching Garble a lesson. “But if I did have to get something from you, then how about your friendship? You don’t seem like a bad dragon, and I think any badness you got might just be a front.”
“Friendship? Ugh, there’s that word. Maybe you should be the one to go to that school instead of me. Why do you want to be friends with me anyway? I’m the sissy dragon, remember? Considering how puny you already are, if any of the dragons see you with me, they might beat you up.” Smolder sighs, and waves her hand at you to shoo you away “Just leave me alone, alright? It’s not that I care about your safety or anything, I just want to er… Plan how I’m gonna crush that Hero Colt guy.”
Time to find out why that is. “The Hero Colt? Huh, why do you wanna beat him up so bad?”
“Because, after he beat up Incen, it made the rest of us look like weaklings. So a bunch of us decided to pool our gems together as a big bet to see who could take him down! Only problem is that the guy lives really far from here, and then there’s the fact that a lot of the dragons kind of realized how stupid the bet was in the first place. Really, the only reason I threw my gems in was because Garble couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut, saying how great he is and stuff. Considering how he’s been treating me, I just wanna bring him down, the gems are just a bonus. Realistically though, I doubt the hero colt is gonna show up any time soon. I know he lives in Ponyville, but I gotta play nice when I get over there. Really, the whole situation just stinks.” Smolder said with a sigh as she sat down, huffing about the situation.
So that’s really what it was, hmmm. She just wants to stick it to Garble, now that is something you can work with. She doesn’t seem too bad, she hasn’t really treated you like shit over your size, though she isn’t aware of your ‘dragon’ name yet. You wonder how’d that would go. “I see, I see. Well, Smolder, I mean what I say. If you’d be my friend, then I’d be happy to not only be yours, but also get you all them gems. How does that sound?”
Smolder just burst out laughing, nearly falling on her back from how hilarious that was “Hahaha! Oh man! Are you serious?! That’s the best joke I’ve ever heard! There is no…” But when she saw that you weren’t laughing, and really standing there with an eager face, she realized right then and there that you were serious, and it irked her to no end. “Oh wow, you really meant it. Look, errr, whoever you are, you’re shooting too high here. You can’t just say you can make something happen when you really can’t. Well, you could, I would if I got something out of it. But all you’re asking me for is some stupid friendship between the both of us. Look, I…” Smolder sighs again when she notices that you wouldn’t relent with your adorably toothy grin smile. “I appreciate it, ok? Nice dragons are usually dumb to even think about, but… It does feel kind of good to know one dragon out there cares. What’s your name anyway?”
You stand tall and proud “Trogdor! The Burninator!”
Smolder nearly chokes when she hears that, and has to look away as she felt a huge amount of embarrassment for you “Ow, wow, that’s… Y’know, Princess Ember might be able to change that name for you if you want. Because it’s pretty bad, your parents must really not like you.”
Her too?! “What is wrong with the name?! It’s totally cool!”
But she didn’t agree “You want me to be honest? It sounds like a name some loser came up with. The kind of loser even a moron could run circles around. Heck, he’d probably make some dumb theme song to go along with it just because he would think it sounds cool, when really, it’s just annoying.”
You raise a claw to try to make a counterpoint. But then you realize the truth of the situation, and remembered that’s exactly what it was. Ogh, Anon, why do you forget such things? “O-ok, b-but that’s just an opinion. Look, I can help you, I swear, but let’s just drop the whole name thing, ok? I get it, my name is bad.” And then you mutter to yourself, making sure she can’t hear “But the song is awesome... don’t knock the song”
“Alright, I guess.” Smolder shrugs “You already know who I am, so that gets the lame introductions out of the way. But I really gotta ask again, are you even sure about wanting to be friends with me? Even though it’ll look bad on you?” Smolder asks you again, this time sounding more genuinely worried for you.
And you could sense it, the fact that she seemed to be worried about your well being, it made you feel rather shmuckish to have come at all if it really turned out she wasn’t all too bad. Neighsay wasn't gonna be too happy with your report, but whatever. “I’m absolutely sure, that’s why I’m willing to help you get that Hero Colt guy.”
Smolder let out a doubtful chuckle as she put her hands to her hips, looking at you with humored disbelief “Really? Now this I gotta hear since you seem so sure. How do you plan to help me get him? We don’t got a lot of time, and it’s not like he’s just gonna show up. Plus, what’s in it for you?”
“Nothing, I really don’t want anything other than being your friend, that's it. In fact, I want to ask that no matter what, from now on, if I can bring you the hero colt, you’ll be friends with me. That fair?” You started to feel smug, oh man, she won’t see this coming.
“Trogdor, if you could somehow get him here right now, I’ll uh… I dunno, marry you or something.” Smolder was obviously joking about that, she was just that sure you wouldn’t be able to do it.
You chuckle at her “You may wanna take that baaaaack” You say in a cocky sing-song way.
“Ok, don’t get obnoxious on me. We both know you can’t actually do it. Sheesh, what’s with you anyway? I thought you were just being stupid optimistic, now it feels like you’re just messing with me.” Now Smolder was starting to find you annoying, not wanting to feel any worse than she already was due to Garble’s asinine ways.
“You can kind of say it’s both.” You say as you begin to glow, magic shooting out of your body the moment you turn into a bright light.
“Woah! HEY! What the?! Trogdor?! What’s going on! Why are you glowing like that?!” Smolder had to take a step back, the bright light becoming overwhelming.
“Behold, Smolder. For I am not actually Trogdor, or even a dragon!” You bellow in a deep voice as the light begins to dim. “BUT I AM THE ONE YOU ACTUALLY SEEK! I AM THE GREAT! THE POWERFUL! THE AMAZING!” And there you stood, standing heroically with a strong leaderly look “HERO COLT, ANON! Hold the applause.”
“What?! No way! NO WAY!” Smolder was utterly bewildered, she hadn’t even been able to process what exactly happened yet “You’re not even a dragon?! You’re THE Hero Colt?! That… That’s impossible!” It looked like she refused to believe it, she didn’t even seem hurt that you were fooling her all this time.
“How is it impossible? I would have thought my ridiculous magic powers would have been well known at this point.” You tell her, still standing as majestically as possible.
“Because, you’re puny. You look like a doll or something. I’m afraid that even touching you might pop you like a- Wait a second! You’re a pony!” Smolder points at you in surprise.
“...Uhhh, yeah. And I’m not that small! Ok, I am sorta small! But I am the hero colt! Yes, the same hero colt who sent that dragon guy packing. If I wasn’t the hero colt, how else would I get here?” Like damn, now she noticed?
“I don’t know! But what I do know is that… That…” At first, Smolder looked like she was now ready to fight you. But then suddenly she just stopped herself, and began to rub her head in confusion. “Nope, can’t do it, even if you are the hero colt. I mean, look at you, how am I supposed to hit you without breaking you into a million pieces? I mean, yeah, if you’re him I wanna crush you and all, but this is kind of ridiculous.”
WAS SHE SERIOUS?! You began to hop around like a toy poodle as you barked at her “I’m not that weak! Or small! Or easily broken!” Actually, it kind of surprised you that she wasn’t following a certain trope “And aren’t you surprised I wasn’t who I said I was?! I had this whole thing going and you don’t even acknowledge it!”
“You do know where you are, right? Dragons mess and lie to each other all the time, the fact that you did it doesn’t surprise me. Though, now that you mention it. What was your plan, anyway? To fight me? To fight all of us? A vacation? Finish off Incen? I really can’t guess, because I already kind of knew in the back of my head that you really didn’t want to be friends with me. I mean…” Smolder, as confident in her words as she was seeming, suddenly stopped when the prospect of being lied to about friendship suddenly hit her, she didn’t even have any words to finish that sentence with.
So you decide to finish the thought for her, to let her know the truth about how you feel. “But I do want to be friends with you, Smolder. Yeah, I’m a pony. And, ugh, I guess I am THAT small. But I did beat that Incen guy, and I do mean it when I say I want to beat up Garble and help you win all those gems. Please, believe me, you seem cool enough to be friends with.” Well, you didn’t know if she was actually cool to be friends with, given how she has insulted you thus far. But she seems tough, quick witted, and nice to be around. Again, kind of the opposite of what you expected.
Smolder just stood there, silent for a moment as she contemplated the information in front of her. Finally, she calmed down and tried to assess the situation verbally “So let me get this straight. You really are the hero colt, you want to be my friend for some reason, and you wanna… Wait.” She then realized something extra “Are we just going to do the dishonest thing and do a fake fight that I’m gonna win? I’m right, right?”
“I mean, yeah. Then again, I think dragons have some honor code, right? Sorry if it sounds insulting.” Really, you didn’t mean to offend.
“Woah, hold on, you’re confusing things. I’m totally down for being underhanded and sneaky to win those gems. But two things, one, I really wanna see you beat the snot out of Garble. And two, Well… Are you really the hero colt? I mean, you’re not pulling my leg or anything?” Smolder, again, started to sound worried.
“Yeah, I really am. I promise. Also, beating Garble is no problem. In fact, he’ll make a good test dummy for all my newfound skills.” You say, feeling confident in your abilities.
“Yeah, yeah, sure. It’s just, you’re kind of going really out of the way for a dragon who wants to beat you up. I mean, you were attacked by a dragon not too long ago, so it really doesn’t make any sense to me at all why you care.” Smolder says, with some doubt still hanging around herself.
“Like I said, you seem pretty cool, and I want to help. Beating up Garble is just a bonus. I’m not usually an advocate for silly friendship stuff. But if you are willing to be my friend, then I’m willing to be yours. That alright with you?” You say as you give your legs a few stretches to get them ready for a fight.
“Yeah…” Smolder starts to feel unsure, rubbing the back of her head as she looks up “I mean, friendship is kind of different for a dragon, just to let you know. So, the second thing I wanted to mention is, well, if you do wanna be friends and do this for me, then just know I won’t owe you anything and…” She looks at you, still feeling some doubt that you were able to topple the dragon known as Incen. “I just have this annoying feeling in my chest. I kinda don’t want to risk you getting hurt. Because, well, you seem pretty cool too. I’ve never heard of any pony ever wanting to help a dragon win by cheating, and I never met a pony so small who was willing to do something dangerous just to help me out. Look…” She sighs, annoyed with the entire situation “Just promise me you actually have this handled. Because you’ll owe me big time if I have to save your butt, you understand?”
You nod to her, and give her a cheerful smile “I understand. So uh, can I have a hug from my beautiful wife?”
“What?! H- oh… I wasn’t being serious, you know” Smolder blushed there for a moment, feeling utterly embarrassed about her deal from earlier. Even then, you didn’t stop giving her that sunny smile “How was I supposed to know you were him?! A dragon’s word is not binding! Stop looking at me like that! Ugh, do you really want a hug? Will you stop if I do?”
Well, she was cute. You totally wanted to feel how it would be to hug a cute dragon, so you just silently nod your head up and down.
“Great… Really gotta watch your words, Smolder.” She says as she knocks on her own head with her fist. She then looks over the cliff, and in the sky, for any dragons that might be about. “Ok, here we go.” She says when she sees that the coast is clear. You get eager as she picks you up and gives you a surprisingly gentle hug, her belly being quite warm. But then she whispers “If anycreature finds out about this, I’ll break every bone in your body. You got me?”
You let out a half worried and half satisfied chuckle “G-got it.”
“So this is where we’re gonna be fighting, huh? It seems ok, kind of beat up though.” You stood on a small rock island a few ways away from the coastline. It seemed to be an old fighting arena of some kind. No seats or anything fancy like that, just some broken rubble on the floor and beautiful but rustic and slightly broken gem spires on the four corners of the island. It was small to be sure, plenty of room to fight and observe, but that was about it. “And you’re sure I can fight here without it causing an issue to any of the other dragons?” You had mentioned to Smolder that if the fight was going to go down, that it had to somehow happen without some war breaking out. Conveniently, she had a place to fly you to that would solve such a problem.
“Yeah, this place is an ancient battleground where dragons used to fight each other just to be right in an argument. Heck, there’s even an official dragon law that says that whatever happens in this arena is between the two fighters and that’s it. This place is pretty legendary, it is said that the dragons that fought here were the best of the best, and always fought with honor and integrity.” Smolder explained to you as she walked to one of the spires to give it a tap, taking notice that the gem was still pretty steady for being so old.
“I mean, it exists. How can it be legendary if it’s right here where everycreature can see?” You ask, not understanding at all how that makes sense.
Smolder turned back to look at you, shaking her head in response to your ignorance “It’s not the place, it’s just the story of it. How many dragons do you know fight with ‘honor and integrity’?”
“Ohhhh, I guess that kind of thing would be legendary to you guys, huh? Well, either way, it just means we can make sure we go by that legend by making the fight physical only. Really, I’m sure I can outsmart and outclass Garble despite my size. It’ll be funny” You say as you start to play with a pebble, actually being skilled enough to maneuver it around the stone floor with ease. It made you feel more confident to be so dexterous with your hoof.
“Yeeeeaaahhh, I doubt Garble would agree to that. And even if he did, he’d probably cheat. Though, considering you did beat Incen, I’m gonna take a guess you have a cheat of your own. It’s that weird horn around your neck, right? How does that thing work? I know you can turn into a dragon, but it has to do more than that.” Smolder said as she looked upon your Sombra Horn, nearly bringing up a claw to give it a tap.
“It lets me do anything of everything. You ever heard of Discord? Well, I’m his son!” You say, grinning as you spread your legs for a pose, looking high to seem greater than you were.
Smolder just stared at you, unimpressed. “Uh huh, no idea who that is, but I’ll take your word for it. So then, sounds like you have plan. Just so you know, once the fight starts, it’s just you and him, nocreature can step in or anything like that. So, are you ok with that? Can you really do this?” At this point, you could sense the small worry in her voice. You could tell you gained her reluctant friendship, but you also understood it really would most likely be one on one once the fight starts, she wouldn't step in at all to help unless it got truly serious. Still, no worries, the moment the asshole tried anything, you’d show him real chaos.
“I’m fine with it, I’m feeling pretty confident. And trust me, I can get him to agree to physical only…” You shrug, feeling rather arrogant “I mean, how soul crushing would it be if he couldn’t even beat me with his bare claws? Am I right?”
“Huh, good point. Heh, now I’m really excited! Ok, I’m gonna go get him and his cronies, so get ready!” Smolder said as she crouched, and prepared to fly off.
“Gotcha, I already feel like celebrating my victory. Haha!” You wish you could grip a hand like some anime guy, the flatness of your hoof did a poor job of empathizing your excitement.
“So do I, just, Y’know, make sure you win. I’d… erm. Look, I guess we really are friends now, because…” Smolder looks around to make sure no one was looking, and stands back up “I’m just gonna say it, I am worried about all this, and I don’t wanna see you get hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna see you smack Garble silly, that’ll be fun, but I don’t want to see you get pounded because of it. So, just promise me you’ll be ok, ok? I’d hate to lose a friend I just made.” Smolder was finally looking at you with a soft and gentle look, with yet a sense of toughness still about it. She accepted you, and for that, you’d make sure Garble’s loss would be more than spectacular.
“I promise. It’s nice to have you as a friend too, Smolder, you’re pretty cool. Maybe…” Ogh, oh man. There it was, a pain in your heart. You now had to internally admit that you were now going to attend Twilight’s school for the sake of a friendship, maybe even more than one as far as Ocellus was concerned, what a bother. “...We can hang out at Twilight’s school. It’ll be a week after opening, but I’ll be attending there after that.”
“You are? Well…” She hesitated once more, and even tensed for a moment, feeling unsure about her next words. She tensed more and more with every half moment, until finally she went loose, slumped, and sighed. “Yeah, way too late to act any kinds of tough. Sure, it’d be cool to hang out, and be in the same classes, however those are. Only thing is that, and I am putting my foot down on this, we aren’t any kinds of married, alright? I don’t care if it’s a joke, I don’t want anycreature even thinking it, Ok? It’d be really weird walking around school with everycreature thinking we’re a thing. Other than that, it’d be nice to hang, do homework together, skip school if it gets too boring, stuff like that. Anyway, I’m gonna get the moron now, so just be ready.”
You nod “I will, trust me Smolder, this is gonna as smoooooooth as butter.” You say with a wink. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem too doubting, especially since she gives you a thumbs up before finally flying off.
You decided to do a few hops and jumps at first, bucking into the air and speedily moving from side to side. You felt lighter, stronger, and your movements were much more quick than before. Man, you may not have been able to crush that dragon statue with your skills, but Garble will be the next best thing. After some time, you finish your warm up routine and get an idea. You decide to hide behind one of the spires, and await your ‘cue’. Basically, you wanted to give Garble a sense of dread before you pop out, most certainly to be laughed at. You’d play it cool, and then show that fuck whats up when the fight finally starts.
After what seemed like another ten minutes, You could see Smolder returning to the island with a small group of dragons, four of them to be exact, with one of them being your target. They all land, and as expected, Smolder already seems tense from your ‘absence’. Garble just steps forward, looking around, smacking his fist into his palm. “So where is he? You said he was right here, right?”
“Garble…” in the group, was a rather muscular and larger dragon with thick arms and smaller wings. And yet despite this, he looked as scared as a kitten. “M-maybe we shouldn’t be here, what if it’s a trap? What if he’s ready to strike from around the corner?”
“Maybe you all should stop being wimps and get your act together! It’s just one pony! One pony who I’m gonna flatten in a few seconds, if I can even find him.” Garble, not being too bright, started overturning rocks and pebbles, and pushing around the very few human sized boulders in his vicinity.
“But what if he bites you with his razor sharp teeth!?” A meek and long orange dragon cries out, with panic in his eyes and twisted horns.
“Or he snaps you in two with his beefy legs?” A fat and portly black dragon says as he looks around nervously, he was only a little bit bigger than you, and nowhere near as cute.
“Or just eats us all?! Garble, I’m just-” But the beefy dragon who tried to warn him is once again shut down by Garble's arrogance and growing agitation.
“Will you all shut it already!? It’s embarrassing, c’mon, it makes us all look bad. I’m not Incen, I’m Garble, the greatest and coolest dragon that has ever existed ever! And you’re all going to see that today. Smolder, where is he?!” Garble practically had smoke coming out of his nose as he grinded his fist into his palm. Ok, so he wasn't scared like you thought. Still, you could work with this, it meant he'd totally agree to whatever deal you gave him if it made him look better.
“He was here, I know he was. And just to let you know, I could take him too. I’m not afraid of him at all.” Smolder said, as she began to feel betrayed by your sudden disappearance.
“Yeah? Well good, at least you have some backbone, even if you’re still a sissy dragon. But if he was here, and he’s gone now, then I guess that means I technically win, since I was the one who wanted to challenge him first.” Garble said as he crossed his arms, already trying to greedily take an unearned victory. And that was exactly your cue.
“Now hold on there! A jerk like you deserves nothen but a good butt beating. Prepare yourselves, as I, Anon, the Hero Colt, makes the scene!” You shout from behind the rightmost gem spire.
Immediately, the three cowardly dragons grab hold of each other as they hear your voice. Smolder calms down, and not only realizes what you're doing, but shakes her head in embarrassment from your cheesy bravado. Garble however, steps closer to the ring, demanding your presence. “So you are here, huh? Where are you?! Come out so I can give you a beat down!”
“I’m right here!” You finally make your grand reveal, hopping out to the side, and stepping up to Garble as you give him an intense and scary stare… which no one found scary. In fact, the moment you hopped out, everyone but Smolder began to laugh and point at you.
The portly one was rolling on the ground laughing. “That’s him?! He’s smaller than I am! What a runt!”
The long one nearly tied himself into a knot “Oh boy! Incen lost to him?! And here we thought that guy was tough!”
The buff one began to crack his knuckles as he looked at you hungrily “Well, if that’s the case, I guess that means I'll have to take him d-” But before he can finish that sentence, Garble points at him, growling, acting as the dominant one of the group.
“You chumps aren’t doing anything! You all were ready to wet yourselves on the way over here, and now you want to fight? Too bad, I said he’s mine, and that's how it’s gonna be. And sure, maybe this won’t make me the coolest dragon ever, but I’ll be eating like a king for weeks.” Garble said this with so much fierce authority, that the other three actually buckled to his words, and withdrew from stepping forward. Garble nodded to himself, victorious and proud, and then looked to Smolder with a grin “Now I see why you were so ready to fight him. Step off, Smolder, you don’t deserve anything! He’s mine!” Garble pointed at himself.
Smolder made a fist with her right hand, she wanted to punch him so much. But she looked to you for a moment, and saw your confidence. She knew she’d have her chance, so she took a breath, cooled down, and shrugged as she walked back to join the group “Whatever, would be a shame if you lost though.”
“Me, lose? Ha! If I lose, then I’ll put on a diaper and ask for binky, which, by the way, ain’t gonna happen. Either way, every dragon here is obligated to give me everything once I obliterate this shrimp.” Garble reminded everyone as he walked over to you, feeling so sure of himself that when he finally stood close to you, face to face, he just let out a small cackle as he put his arms to his side “Heya, Hero Colt, I’ll be your butt kicker today. Any last words? I’m feeling pretty generous today, so it can be lengthy if you want. I don’t care, we already know who’s gonna win anyway.”
Hm, this guy was pretty tall compared to you. But don’t falter, Anon, just stick with what you know and remember your training. Rainbow Dash may be pretty dumb, but she’s an athlete for a reason, and she did have the backing of the Wonderbolts… Even though they are kinda worthless. Whatever, magic if things go awry, remember that. “Yeah, I got a few words. I heard this place was some ancient dragon fighting arena or whatever. With rules and everything. So how about this, we fight using physical attacks only. No magic, no fire breath. That way, we can see who really is the best fighter in the land. Remember, I did beat that other guy, so you can’t just brush me off as weak. Or are you scared that you can't beat me 'drago y ponyo'?”
“What?! I’m not afraid of anything! Especially not scrawny little freaks like you! Fine, I’m game. I’ll be nice and hold back from turning you into ashes, just because I’m that awesome. So, you ready then?” Garble said as he pounded his fists together and spread his legs, seemingly ready to strike.
“You bet” You say as you crouch, wiggling your tiny butt and getting ready to dodge.
“Cool, but since this is all honorable and stuff, I’ll be sportsdragonlike and give a countdown. On my word, we let the scales and fur fly, got it?” Garble said, with an unsettling and dishonest air about him.
“Sure, go ahead, I’m ready on the word ‘go’ “
“Alright, cool. So, Ready, seeeeeeeeet” But before he even says go, he lunges at you, and grabs you with both his hands. Admittingly, this actually caught you off guard. You were now in his grip, your legs just loose enough to flail about.
“What the?! You said on your word!” You pointed at him angrily, what the fuck?!
“Yep, I just didn’t say what word that was. Time to go night night, Hero Colt!” Garble cackled, and reared back his head for a mighty headbutt. Before you could even react, he smashes his head right onto yours in an attempt to knock you out in a single blow. “r-r-RAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AGHHHHHHHHH!” But what happened instead was Garble dropping you, holding on to his own head as he staggered backward, crying out in pain as it felt like his skull nearly split. Hell, the smack was so hard, you even felt a physical sense of the pain he was in, but not so much yourself.
You let out a soft grunt as you hit the ground. Other than a tiny bump however, you were fine, you just sat on your butt and gave your head a cute little tap with your foreleg to make sure everything was intact. “Huh, everything seems ok. How ya doin there, Garble?”
Garble didn’t answer, he just continued to whine as he held on to his head. The other dragons were confused and even cringing, as the sound of a crack echoed into the distance. As for Smolder, she was already smiling to herself.
“That’s what I thought, BELLY SMASH!” You rush up towards Garble, hop with a 180 spin, and buck Garble’s gut. It seems with your newfound abilities, you were finally able to do some aerial damage as he ended up grabbing his stomach with a groan.
“Hnnngh, NGHHH! Y-you’re gonna….NGH, Ogh… P-pay…” Garble was doing his best to recover. You wanted to make another attack, but you could tell he was getting ready to counter in someway if you approached again.
“Pay? Is that before or after I kick your butt? And what hospital do I have to pay upfront for your care? I’m not familiar with the area.” You say, laughing at him as you do.
“T-that’s it! Y-you're dead!” Garble finally loses it, and rushes you, claws bared. His temper was short to be sure. He has had enough, and turned to his more feral instincts as he rushed you to tear you apart.
“Left, Left, Right, Dodge, Roll, haha!” You were announcing your movements out loud as Garble blindly tried to take swipes at you, demanding that you hold still. Indeed, the battle was on, but the match up was unbalanced. You were small, and due to your training, much quicker; Garble was unable to land a single blow while he rushed you blindly, and was too large and lumbering to be accurate. On the other side of the coin, however, when the guy decided to rush at you on all fours to try to keep up with you, you found yourself able to counter with a few bucks to his face whenever you hopped his swipe; the problem was that even with your power up, it barely even stunned him. Your head truly was your greatest asset.
“Hold still, you little punk! I’m gonna turn you to soup once I get my claws on you!” Garble said with a growl, becoming near feral as he randomly swings his arms whenever he gets near. Man, he must have gotten really angry real quick after that head bash. Then again, even when the fuck cheated, he ended up outplaying himself. And as uncoordinated as his attacks were, you couldn’t dodge forever. You had to think of something, but what? Oh wait, you could start with his stupid sentence.
“Woah, hold on there!” You hop backwards as far as you can and hold your hoof up at him “Turn me into soup? How would you even do that? I’m solid and meaty.” You pound at your chest “See? Puuuure muscle!”
Garble, in all his idiotic glory, actually stops and stands on his two feet as he looks at you, annoyed, yet intrigued. “What do you mean I can’t turn you into soup? I’m Garble, I can do anything! I’ll just grab you and, er… Um.” He stopped to ponder, but unlike most combatants you had to deal with, his brain fried in nearly seconds “Look! I’ll just throw you in a cauldron and cook you IN a soup! That way it still counts! So there!” He sticks his tongue out at you.
“But that’s just putting me into a soup, not making me a soup. Although…” You tap the bottom of your muzzle as you falsely ponder. Oh yes, you were gonna give him quite a revelation indeed. “I may know a way to turn me into a delicious soup. But ah, you wouldn’t want to hear it, you like ponies too much to do something like that.”
“What?! Who even said I liked ponies?!” Garble looked back at his group with divine kinds of hatred as he pointed at them inquisitively “DID ANY OF YOU PEABRAINS GO AND TELL EVERYCREATURE THAT I LIKE PONIES?!”
The group steps back, shaking their hands and saying none of them ever thought that. Smolder just chuckled, enjoying the show.
“It’s not funny, Smolder! Stop laughing! Grahh!” Garble then looked to you, pointing angrily and stomping his foot as if he was throwing a tantrum “I HATE ponies! I hate them! I hate them so much! Alright?! It’s not funny because it’s not true! So you know what?! Tell me how to make you into soup, then you’ll see how much I really hate ponies!” Oh yes, he was demanding those answers.
“Well, you see, it’s a pretty big secret. So…” You beckon him to lean in with your hoof “Come super close so I can whisper it to you.” Holy shit, no way, he really was dumb enough to fall for this!
Garble slowly leans in, turning his head so he could hear you. “Ok, I’m listening. It better be good, pony.”
Oh god, he really did it. Ahh well, might as well oblige him. “Well, the secret to turning me into soup, is getting a skull splitting headache.”
“What? Did you say aaaaHHHHGHHHH!” With the sound that could be compared to a meteor, Garble screams as his head smashes into the ground. You slammed your head so hard into his that it actually was comparable to being hit with a small truck, or that was your guess. You cackled as you took the advantage.
“Hahaha! You actually fell for it! Moron! Oh, ever heard of the one-two? Well here comes the two!” Just as Garble was raising his head, you used your own as a mace and side swung it to the side of his face, knocking him back to the ground as he rolled a few ways away from you before stopping flat on his belly once more. Holy shit, your head was a fucking wrecking ball. Hold yourself, Anon, don’t start singing now.
“I can’t, ngh… I can’t lose…” Garble was having a hard time getting up, his vision was blurry and spinny. It was actually kind of admirable that he was still willing to fight, but it was clear you now had the perfect weapon to beat him, and you were going to make sure he’d go down. Garble balanced himself, raised his arms, and tried to stabilize himself as he prepared for another go.
“Garble, you’re done. Just admit you lost already. Sheesh, it’s embarrassing.” Smolder taunted, enjoying so much that you had the upper hand. “The way I see it, the Hero Colt is more of a dragon than you are. And I’m gonna say it, much cooler too. If I actually knew him, eh, I’d be his friend.” She looks to you, and gives you a wink. Awww, she really was pretty cool.
“No! N-NO! H-He’s not even a dragon! Grah! I’m r-really gonna pound you now!” Garble staggered backwards, in a daze, and tried pouncing at you. But he was so out of it, he jumped too early and landed and slid right in front of you.
“Oops! Looks like you stopped a bit short there, buddy. Hmm, is this too crude? Hmmm… A lot of people would cringe pretty hard if this happened in the show. But fuck it, it’d be so satisfying to do it personally. Hey Garble, Time to smell the brimstone!” You just had to, you simply did. You turn around, and release a heavy fart right into his nostrils. The reaction was immediate, Garble got up like he was fully rejuvenated and wobbled back as he covered his nose, his eyes watery. “Ahh, love the smell of chaos in the afternoon. Give it up, stupid, you can’t beat me. Why don’t you let that girl dragon have a try? She’s got some spunk. Well, you might have some of that on your nose too, but I digress.” You said as you laughed at him, god he was dumb.
Garble’s eyes nearly burst into flame as he looked upon you, recovering from his haze and shaking his fists in rage. He wanted your blood now, and he was using everything he had to stay focused on your demise. He entered a charging stance, and prepared to rush you once more, taking a deep breath as he did so.
This strategy again? Was this all he knew? Fine, time to finish this off. You prepare yourself for one more head bash, this time you’d jump and bring your head down with enough force to shatter steel. Just prepare yourself, Anon, just watch his movements. He was almost in position, no changes, go for the knockout!
“Huh, what? Oh no! ANON! GET OUT OF THERE!” Smolder, however, had noticed something you didn’t. She had seen that Garble had opened his wings. She was already quick to deduce that he wouldn’t be able to hit you if he was too high in the air, not with his fists anyway.
“Wha, huh?” You step back in surprise, but it was only a step, and not enough to dodge what was coming. Garble feinted back with a hop and flew up in the air. He wasted no time in immediately exerting a line of flame towards you. It seems the breath he took before his charge was to prep his stream of flames. Smolder’s callout was enough to make you wary and try to dodge out of the way, but it wasn’t enough for you to utterly avoid it, especially since Garble’s flame attack was rather large in size. You feel the immediate burning pain of fire across most of your body as you fly back and slide across the floor. You avoided death, but now you were hurting really bad, you could barely move. How?! How could one attack do this to you? You were so close… “N-Ngh…” You were scorched, burnt badly, and even your lungs felt like they were on fire. Had you moved a second later, this could have been it.
Smolder, and even the group of dragons gasped in surprise from Garble’s action. The three that followed him were jerks to be sure, but they either didn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions or they actually felt bad for you. Smolder, however, was utterly livid as she rushed over to you and looked at Garble with anger. “What’s the big idea?! What happened to this being a clean fight?” Smolder said as she looked upon you, she could see patches of burnt fur and skin on you. “Anon, hey, come on! Snap out of it! Are you ok?!” You were barely moving, she had half a mind of just picking you up and taking you to Ember for help.
“I knew it! I knew you were in league with him!” Garble said as he landed, and pointed at Smolder with hurtful accusation “I knew you were a pony lover! Look guys, didn’t I tell you?!”
But the other three? Yeah, even they knew, for sure, things were going too far. The portly one stepped back, and waves his hands at Garble “I-I didn’t see anything, and I heard nothing. I don’t want to deal with Princess Ember.”
The long one ducked behind the strong one, afraid of what the situation has become “C-can we just go home? This is too much for me.”
And the stronger one? Even he knew what was up. “Yo, Garble, this is ancient ground, and you just roasted a colt. I don’t want anything to do with this anymore.”
“Cowards! We’re dragons! We’re not supposed to play fair! He wanted a fight? Well I gave it to him, so you all better not think of jumping out of the bet now! I’m the best, I’m the coolest, and I’m the winner!” Garble stood there triumphantly, but then began to wobble as his adrenaline flow began to slow down. He started to rub at his head as it began to hurt “B-but now I got a headache, ugh, it really stings.”
Smolder was about to get ready to get up and smack the living shit out of him. But she stops when she notices you turn your head to look at her. You were barely able to mouth words as you began to point at your horn. “Head….h-head.”
“H-hey, relax, you’re really hurt, ok? I’m gonna get you some help.” Smolder was blaming herself for this, her selfishness of wanting to win the bet was scathing her soul. She just wanted to best Garble, even if it was an underhanded way of doing it. But despite your one meeting with her, you had treated her with more respect than any other dragon she had met before. But you yourself wouldn’t relax, and you just kept repeating the same word as you pointed to the horn. “Huh? You… Anon, you’re really hurt, ok? This isn’t the… I said relax! Geez, fine! If it’ll get you to calm down, then I’ll do it!” You just wouldn’t stop, and tried harder and harder to communicate with her, even trying to wiggle out of her grip. It was enough for her to finally give in to your strained demands. She grabs the horn and gives it a tug, noticing how restrictive it was when she held it, as if the necklace connected to the horn was enchanted. But she didn’t need to take it off, just place it on your head. And when she finally did so, your eyes began to glow yellow and red as you floated out of her grip. “Anon? W-what?!”. Indeed, what was happening was imperceptible to those who didn’t understand. But you understood, you understood it was time to raise hell.
You hovered there, glowing as your body began to crack and fall apart. In truth, it was more like you were shedding your skin in a way only those who understood would find comical rather than those who did not know of chaos just viewing it in total awe, or to put it simply, like a snake. No one knew what to do, what to say, or how to approach you. You yourself was in full embrace of your chaotic side, perhaps in a way you should have back during the invasion of the Storm King. When your shell finally cracked and broke off, you returned to the ground, garbed in adorable mailman gear. “I’m back! And ready to go postal!”
Everyone was taken aback, even Garble. What they all witnessed should have been impossible. Smolder herself, while just as confused, started to tap her palm with her claw, then slowly raised it to her forehead and gave it a gentle tap. That’s when she realized it. Just like with your transformation into a dragon, the horn must have transformed you, or rather, given you some clothes while completely healing you. But then, she was confused yet again, but relieved you suddenly seemed alright. “Anon? Woah, I-I don’t really know what happened but… Are you alright? What’s with the getup? How did you even fix yourself?”
You let out an arrogant chuckle as you adjust your hat “Chaos, what else? I let myself get too comfortable with that fight, should have known Garble would have cheated. I’m alright now though, just needed to shed myself into something else. As for what that is, just stand back and watch. I’m about to deliver some pain. I’ll win Smolder, I promise.”
And Smolder indeed stepped back as she saw you look towards Garble with newfound determination. Deeper inside her soul, however, she actually felt pretty bad that you were hurt at all. She was still somewhat confused, but she could see that whatever you were planning, it was about to blow Garble out of the water. But what then? Even if you won, she still felt an annoying sting of guilt that you got yourself hurt for what was essentially her benefit. As a dragon, she knew it shouldn’t bother her, but it just… did.
Garble, however, stunned, angry, and somehow still standing, began to shake his fist at you in raging disbelief “How?! How are you still standing?! You should have stayed down, pony! Now? I’m really gonna let you have it! No holds barred! So either walk away, or face the wrath of the best dragon ever, Garble!”
“Oh hoho, really? Well, I’ll be happy to go a round two with you… After I do something. Kind of forgot to do something back at my house.” Although you sounded confident, to Garble, it sounded like an admittance to defeat.
“Oh? Running home to mommy then? Well, good! Looks like INHHAWWAAAAAA!” Suddenly, Garble is launched a few feet in the air as a mailbox on a post springs from the ground, right between his legs. With powerful force, he is hit right in the crotch, causing him to let out a horrible puppy like whine as he rolls on the ground in pain. Everyone but you cringes hard from such a hit, but then…
“Where did that come from?!” The portly dragon cried
“T-this place is haunted! We gotta go!” The skinny one said.
“I’m with you! I’m not about to get blown to bits by whatever this is!” The buff one cried out, which prompted the group to leave.
But Smolder? She stayed behind, she had figured out that the post must have appeared by your hand. As in, you must be using the magic you had in your horn. She didn’t care about the other dragons, Garble, or the gems, she just wanted you to win. “Go, Anon! Keep being weird! It’s working!”
You cantered over to the mailbox as a box appeared and floated ahead of you. You stopped for a moment, and looked down at the whining dragon. “Heh, you ain’t making any wishes with those dragonballs no more.” You say with a chuckle as you push the package you had conjured into the mailbox. You then raise its small flag. “There we go, totally forgot about the airplane blueprints for Starlight. Two birds with one stone, no problem. Now then…” You eye Garble as he tried to get up to pounce on you, but he was moving so slow due to his injury, that you were able to react near instantly by using your magic to rip the post out from the ground and making a rising swing at his face, making him launch upwards “Special Delivery!”
Garble started to spin upwards into the sky, but amazingly, his rage kept him in the fight as he opened his wings and caught himself. He was heaving, tired, fatigued, and yet he still wanted to go at you, only able to move due to his arrogance and fury. “GRRRRR! YOU CHEATER! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING TO A PONY!”
“Shut up, Garble! You cheated first! You nearly turned the guy into burnt toast!” Smolder pointed out, annoyed at his double standard.
“Dragon! Drag-on! How does nocreature get that we're made for cheating?! Grah! D-darn it! Whatever! I’m gonna melt you this time, pony! And ha! Then I can make a soup out of you!” Garble reared his head back, and again, released a heavy stream of flame at you, he was giving it all he got this time as your entire body was covered in his flaming breath.
“Anon!” Smolder said as she held her hand out towards you, but it was too late, this time you were hit dead on.
Oh ho, but you weren’t going down this time. When Garble ended his breath attack, he took a deep breath and slightly limped in the air as he tried to regain his strength. He felt safe enough, as there was no way you could have survived. Within the lasting smoke, was probably your ashes. “H..ngh, grrr… Finally, I finally won. Those gems are-WHAT?!” But of course, as the smoke cleared, Garble was surprised to see you still standing, unharmed. “HOW?! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOUP!”
You just lightly dusted yourself off, and looked up at Garble with a calm and collected look. “I’ll tell you how. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor your shitty ass bad breath is gonna keep me from kicking your ass. I’m invincible, you moron! Now take this! From me to you, Garble!” You jumped up and started to pull out glowing envelopes from your shirt as you threw them like shurikens towards Garble.
Garble himself, using the last ounces of his strength, managed to dodge every single envelope you threw at him. After you threw your last envelope, he looked around, then looked to you, and laughed. “Hahaha! Take that! I dodged all of your stupid pieces of paper! Now I’m gonna go down there and finish you off!”
Was this guy for real? Seriously, what the hell? Ah well, it’d be over soon. “Hey, moron, I didn’t put stamps on any of those envelopes, you know that right?”
“Yeah? So what?!” Garble questioned
You give him a dark and smug look as your eyes shine a quick yellow and red. “Return to sender.”
“What? Hu-AGH!” Garble, at first, doesn’t figure it out. But when he turns his head back, it’s already too late to defend himself from the onslaught of returning envelopes as they hit and explode on him, sending him straight down towards you.
“Alright, let’s see, how do I wanna end this? Ah ok!” You raise the post with your magic and get ready to swing. “Alright, time to send this fight off, first class!” You call out as you prep your final attack. The moment the falling dragon gets into range, you swing the post into him so hard, it snaps in two as it send Garble hurtling into a gem spire. Surprisingly, the spire stands as Garble slams flat into it, and slowly slips to the ground. He couldn’t move at this point, only groan until he fell unconscious. “Thank you for using UCS, United Chaos Services, haha! Hey Smolder, I did it! You wanna fight now?” You turn to Smolder with a goofy smile as your clothes disappear and the horn falls off your head.
While Smolder, at first, was amazed by your skills; She was now utterly stunned as she pointed at the fallen Garble, and then looked to you, bewildered “Woah, that was… How?! Did that all come from your horn?! A-ah, I mean, is Garble gonna be ok?! Are you ok?! Is the world gonna blow up now?”
Heh, it was rare to see anyone react like this to your chaos magic. Then again, they either already knew or were cool and collected enough to handle it. You waved her hoof at her, and did your best to calm her down. “Everything is alright, and uh, it looks like he’ll be ok. That though? That was the full power of my chaos magic that I can use with the horn. He wanted to cheat? Well, I just upped the ante is all, so I think that’s a legit win.” You were pretty proud of yourself with this one, you managed to manhandle Garble physically, and then when he cheated, you managed to pull out the ace in the hole. In fact, it was kind of strange. You managed to not only to stay on point with your attacks, but you didn’t quite feel all like yourself when you were doing so. Either way, however, you pulled out the victory.
“Yeah, I guess it is. Wow, heh, and here I thought it was mostly hooey. I… Er, you alright? I know I asked that a lot, but you got kind of crazy there.” Smolder put one of her hands to her hips as she began to relax, just wanting to unpackage just what happened. Ha, unpackaged, another good pun.
“I am, I just really wanted to win, and to help you out. Although…” You look around, it was only you, her, and Garble “I don’t think it’d count without witnesses.”
“Yeah…” Smolder looked away from you, and let out a disappointed sigh. “Can’t believe I’m saying this. But I stopped caring about that, the gems I mean.”
“Wha? But I thought it was a large amount of gems. It’d keep you fed for a long time, right?” You were confused, why did she not care about the gems after you went through all that trouble?
“Eh, I already got enough gems for that. No, look…” Smolder was getting agitated with herself. She thought it was crazy that she was giving up the gems, but when she looked at you again, she did feel there was something more important to hold on to than just food. “I asked for everything and you did it for nothing. Heck, you nearly became toast and you still fought for me. When you said we were friends, I didn’t really think it’d be THAT deep or serious or whatever. And you know what? I realized I got something better than gems, I got a cool friend, that despite being a pony, can kick butt and is pretty rad. Not to mention you still beat Garble, a total plus. I guess what I’m saying is that, well…” Smolder looked around at the arena, and the base of the gem spires, and nodded to herself “This is an ancient place of honor and all that, heh, I guess I have to honor our friendship forever in that case. I mean, I’d even trust you with my own gem stash at this point. You’re the coolest pony, Well, the ONLY pony I ever met. And for helping me out, if you ever need anything, you just let me know, ok? Helping friends out is gonna be one of those lessons I have to learn, right? Might as well get that out of the way.”
“Smolder…” You were in awe. Aside from Spike, you had never really met a nice dragon before. And she had a coolness factor that most others didn’t, and a willingness to not take the goody two shoes route should you two meet again and decide to do something else. Still, as happy as you were about gaining her friendship… “Come on, just take the gems. They’ll probably give it to you now that they know you and me are buddies.”
Smolder chuckles, and shrugs to herself “I was just trying to act all nice, but yeah, I’ll totally pick up those gems. Might be tough explaining it to Princess Ember though, she’ll probably find out what happened and want to ask some questions. Ancient dragon law or not, this might still cause a one heck of a stink.” Smolder noted.
“Not really, considering I saw and heard most of it. Geez, now I know how Incen lost, that colt is packing some real power.” Said the voice of Princess Ember herself, who was sitting on top of one of the gem spires. “Also, you gotta be more careful with these, understand? They’ve been standing here longer than even my own dad has been around.” Ember said as she gave the one she was on a knock before hopping off and hovering down in front of the both of you.
“Oh no…” Smolder seemed more aggravated than surprised as she covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. “You saw me make good friends with Anon, didn’t you? Ugh, that’s so embarrassing.”
“Hey! Don’t even think that, the whole point of sending you to that school in the first place is to learn about friendship stuff like this. Besides, what do you have to be embarrassed about? It’s not like you just got blown up by a bunch of mail or anything. Garble needed a reality check, you needed at least one good friend, and I just needed to see what this hero colt business was all about. All in all, it all seems good to me.” Said Ember, unphased by the events that have transpired.
“Wait, so you’re not mad at all about this?” You asked “I dunno if you know or not, but I was that Trogdor guy. So, y’know, I sort of fooled you when I first met you.”
“Yeah, and? You only fooled me for awhile before I realized that Trogdor was such a bad name that not even a dragon family would be jerkish enough to give that name to their kid. It’s what made me suspicious in the first place. Besides, now I know Incen losing wasn’t a fluke. Really, I thought it was super embarrassing to lose to a colt, even if he was famous. Now?” Ember cracks her knuckles with a determined smirk on her face “I wouldn’t mind a fight. I’ll keep it clean, but I’ll let you know right now, these fists can break boulders.”
You versus the Princess? Well, she did seem pretty honorable, so this time, it’d be a perfect way to test your skills. You raise your hoof to challenge her, but then Smolder grabs it and puts it down. She looks to you, then to Ember, with a worried look on her face “Yeah, as much as I’d like to see a good scrap, I feel sort of uncomfortable with any kind of fighting right now. You saw what happened when Garble torched him, right? I’m not squeamish, I just think the guy needs some rest or something.”
“Yeah, I guess. Nearly jumped in on that one to smack Garble around myself, not cool.” Ember noted as she looked into the sky, noting the fact it was getting dark “It’s about to be night anyway, so whatever. Actually, now that I think about it.” Ember then looks to you, rather suspicious about something “Why are you here, anyway? Like, REALLY here. Ain’t walking around and looking for caves, that’s for sure.”
Smolder stopped for a moment, and looked to you, wondering the same thing.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! You nearly forgot that you were originally here to spy and gather intel. Hell, you still had to report back to Neighsay. Alright, fuck, this isn’t too bad, you still had one angle you could play. “Ahm, well. I just wanted to see what was up. You get attacked by a dragon, it makes you wanna investigate why. I didn’t mean to be intrusive really, though… I’m glad I did, you two are super cool dragons.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Ember nods, believing you without a second thought. “I guess I’d be in a mood to kick butt if I got attacked by a moron like Incen. Ok then. And uh, you said you’d be going to Princess Twilight’s school too, right?”
Woo, safe. “Yeah, a week after it opens.”
“There ya go, Smolder. Haven’t even gone to school yet and you made a good friend. Now all you gotta do is not lose him as a friend, make more friends, and learn more about friendship. Shouldn’t be that bad, considering how ‘legendary’ this kid is.” Ember actually sounded pretty serious, rather than mockingly, as she pointed to you.
“Geez! Ugh…” Smolder covered her face, embarrassed by the fact she already seemed to be progressing in studies she wasn’t even participating in yet. “Come on, it’s not like we’re best friends or anything! We just met today.”
“And yet you’re both already good friends, made a deal to trick Garble, and don’t think I didn’t see you worry about him when he got burnt. This is why I’m princess, because I always make the right choice.” Ember said, standing with pride.
Wut? “Spike told me you became princess because he gave up this staff thing. I forget.”
Ember grumbled, as she narrowed her eyes at you “Yeah, well. I still made the right choice in picking Smolder. Annnnyway, how do you plan to get home? You don’t seem to have wings or anything. Unless you’re gonna turn into a dragon again.”
“Actually…” You tap at your head, you still had your postal worker hat on, you also still wore the shirt. You make a large open box to be sent to Neighsay magically appear, and point to it with a smirk “Might as well mail myself home, with express postage, I might add.”
Ember groaned “Egh, these puns are killing me. But whatever” She shrugged “I’m not gonna question it.”
Smolder walks over to the box, and gives it a tap. “You sure this thing is safe? It’s not gonna explode on you or anything?”
“Nah, my magic should make it send me exactly where I want to go, it’ll be fine. So, Smolder, I guess I’ll be seeing you in a week, huh? I bet you’ll make more friends at school. Actually, there’s this changeling that’s going there I sorta know who seems pretty nice, you might like her. Her name is Ocellus” Ocellus was pretty cute, and if both of them were friends... Ogh, Diamond might be jealous though. Ahh, it’ll be fine.
“I dunno, heard changelings were kind of wimpy these days. But sure, I guess I can check her out. Well, I’ll see you soon I guess… If you don’t blow up” Smolder really wasn’t too sure about your travel methods.
“It’ll be fine…” You say as you adorably climb into the box, and grab the lid. “Well, it was super cool to be here and meet you all. And really fun crushing Garble." You give another look at the unconscious fool, then back to the pair "Gotta do it again sometime.” You say as you wave to the both of them.
“Tch, sure, sounds fun” Smolder said as she gave you a small wave, trying to act somewhat aloof
“Unofficially, I have to agree. Officially, let’s not.” Ember said with a chuckle as she waved.
And with that, you closed the lid, and vanished into the winds.
“Oh sheesh, this is kind of rough. Thought I’d teleport there instantly but…” You could feel the box flying and moving at a generally good pace, but you had no idea what was actually going on outside of your surroundings. You pop your head out and look around only to find yourself flying away from the dragon lands and flying above the sea, it was kind of cool. The water was vast and glowing from the light of the rising moon, and the sky was beginning to alight with stars that stretched upon an endless space. “Heh, this is much cooler than just warping there. First class flight, baby, yeah!” You just lean over the box’s edge just a bit to enjoy the winds going through your mane as you comfortably enjoy the view. After some time however, you hear a familiar ringing in your ear. It was the codec. Discord?
“Yo, what’s up? Pretty random for you to be calling me. Usually I’m the one to use this thing.” You say as you plop back into the box and put your hoof to your ear.
“Not much, I’m actually on a train with Fluttershy right now. Which really, if it wasn’t for her, I’d be bored out of my skull, literally of course.” Discord says, sounding a tad annoyed. “But if you want to know the reason I’m calling, it’s because I felt a certain oddity with my magic. An anomaly, if you will. Yes, I know chaos is all about anomalies, but this particular one felt… pleasant.”
He’s on a train, with Fluttershy? Huh, you’d think he’d have just teleported her back home. You’d ask, but the mention of an anomaly got you curious, could he mean that he felt something when you used your horn? You do remember feeling rather off when using it. You could describe it as exhilarating, with a hint of loving the absolute dominance you had over Garble. “Um, you felt it a little while ago, right?”
“Yes, it was as if somepony managed to use the full potential of my magic. Oh, what’s the point of acting ignorant? What did you do? How did you do it? And tell me you used puns! Puns always add a bit of classical flavor when you’re gallivanting around and spreading chaos over all you survey.” Discord, after dropping the facade, sounded overjoyed to find out you apparently used the full potential of your power. Wait, that was the full potential of your power?
“Uhh, I guess? I mean, I got in a fight with some stupid dragon again. Only this time I just pounded the fuck out of him with some envelopes and a mail post. And yeah, I used some puns but… How does that all mean I used the full power of chaos?” Really, it was confusing to you.
“Not full power, but full potential. Oh Anon, I feel so much joy in my heart that I could nearly flood the train with my tears… But not wanting to hurt Fluttershy in anyway, I won’t. But yes, full potential, I can still feel it. Even now, and with a single charge I might add, you have defeated a dragon in a rather bombastic but thematic way while now finding yourself… Hmmm.” Discord paused for a moment, as if he was feeling you out “Ahh, yes. Now you are flying somewhere in a container, still with the same charge. Amazing really, you’ve never done this well before. It really does sadden me I couldn’t see it all for myself.”
You still didn’t get it, you’ve done shit like this before. “I mean, I guess? What about the Nightmare Night where I went on that whole Noir thing? Or what about when I went anime on the Flim Flam brothers? Isn’t that also using the full potential of chaos?”
Discord chuckled, as if you told a joke “Oh, hahahaha, Anon, so hilarious sometimes. Neither of those instances were anywhere close to it. You had to use hope to even power that rather charming spirit you summoned, and you yourself lacked full control of your little Noir episode, not to mention summoning beasts and shooting off your legs, while unexpected, didn’t fit the theme. Yes, I know it sounds off, chaos having to stick to themes and rules. But it’s not that either, it’s how you manage to bend such themes to cause absolute havoc! Like say, a hedge maze built upon the entire purpose of ruining the friendship of six friends with lies and misdirection.”
Huh, well, you did remember losing some control over the Noir thing. And you lacked the force to really beat the knight mech the brothers had. Interesting, but then… “So, in that case, what does using the full potential of chaos cause? I felt a little more powerful than I usually do, and I kind of just wanted… I dunno, to keep going? Sorta? I had this feeling of just wanting to be on top.”
“Power corrupts, Anon. Though, in your case, your natural resistances to the adverse effects of chaos works in your favor this time. Anypony can use chaos magic, Anon. But overuse or allowing yourself to be completely engulfed in it has consequences to those who are incapable of understanding it or lack the body to retain it in perfect form.” Discord said, his voice growing ever so ominous “Although I could be wrong about that, I only know of one being who suffered the full effects of chaotic power.”
“You mean the X-Captain? I thought he mutated because he fell into some sort of chaotic radiation in some portal or something like that. I mean, you make it sound scary, but I remember when you had me sneak into Cadance’s castle. My resistance made me slowly change back at the worst time.” God, you were so glad you managed to escape that, Shining Armor was ready to tear you apart. “Hell, you transport everyone around and change them into things all the time, so how come nothing happens to anyone else?
“Indeed, it was something like that. But he wields chaotic power now, although it’s fairly pathetic and unable to do what we can do. As for your other question, it’s because chaos magic is still self contained within itself. Yes, it can change things to the user's whim, but it’s still not spreading the core essence of chaos itself among the populace.” Discord explains
So basically, only the ‘lifeforce’ of chaos can cause mutations. “Y’know… You could have just said it’s the lifeforce or soul of chaos that causes a mutation. Which… wait, if that’s even the case, why didn’t Tirek mutate like crazy when he sucked in your magic?”
“You answered your own question, Anon. He drained my magic, but he didn’t drain my ‘lifeforce’. I could have regenerated my magic had I had some time, by the way. Also? Why even bring him up? Even with my magic, he couldn’t topple Twilight, who hadn’t even mastered the magic of the Alicorns she had. Meanwhile, I was able to easily subdue two of them before being hit by the Elements of Harmony, which I let happen by the way. The horn I’ve given you gives you access to my magic, and is connected through me. In fact, if we were to come to a conclusion to the theory, I’d say anypony who has chaos magic could use it safely, but anypony connected to a strong chaotic force is susceptible to chaotic mutation.” Discord said, sounding rather annoyed you’d bring up Tirek at all. Still annoyed he’d let himself fall for his ploy.
Wait, then by that reasoning, it’s not chaos magic at all that causes the mutation, it’s just being connected to a chaotic force. Not only did it mean half that conversation was an incorrect dead end, but it also means that Discord, from the very get go, had been risking your very physical being with that horn. “ARE YOU FUCKING TELLING ME I COULD HAVE TURNED INTO A GIANT MEATBALL AT ANYTIME USING THIS DAMN THING?!”
“No need to shout, Anon. Here I was proud of you and now you’re yelling at your dear old daddy as if he did something wrong.” Discord said with a soft chuckle
“YOU FUCK! DON’T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME WHAT THE RISK WAS BEFORE YOU GAVE ME THE DAMN HORN?! WHAT IF I FUCKING DID THIS FULL POTENTIAL SHIT DURING NIGHTMARE NIGHT WHEN YOU PUKED YOUR ESSENCE INTO THE HORN, HUH?! HMMM?!” Goddammit! What the fuck was his problem?! All this time and you never fucking knew!
“Relax, Anon, relax. As I mentioned, I could be wrong about a few things. Take note that a perfect being such as myself doesn’t have to worry about it, and I know my magic itself is perfectly safe. In all the time I have ever lived, I had never had to deal with a case of full chaotic mutation before, not until our dear X-Captain happened anyway. I know enough by now to know how chaos magic and how the core essence of chaos affects things. Furthermore, your special resistance works on both. It’s able to purge your body of chaotic anomalies through the virtue of being a pure chaotic being yourself, ponification or not. As I said before, it takes a constant stream of chaos just to keep you in any state that changes you in any way. Like say, a constant stream that would come to you from keeping your horn on during a use of a charge. And like the case with the X-Captain, he slowly mutated into the being he finds himself as today. For you, the worst you’d feel is the symptoms you described before. Though, if Twilight knew you’d felt such symptoms, she’d probably nag on about something like ‘What if the lack of inhibition makes him go too far? What if he, even for a moment, does something he’d regret?’. But, as mentioned, you need to bring out the full potential of chaos to even be in such a state, and… Well, as if beings such as you and I ever go ‘too far’, wouldn’t you agree?” Discord, while sounding rather sure, made you feel uncomfortable with how it all sounded. Hell, the fact he mentioned Twilight in such a way made you feel as if maybe, just maybe, he did actually understand the consequences, even if the chances of it happening were quite low.
It also made you think of something else. “Ok, I guess. So let me ask, what would happen to somepony who unlocked the full potential of chaos doesn’t have my resistance?”
“Hmmm, well, it depends. Those who are filled with harmony would dispel the lesser effects in just a moment as well. Overuse while being at such a potential would warp one’s mind before it ever started warping their body. Though, again, a steady diet of harmony could eventually fix that. It’s those nasty curses you have to be careful with, there’s no naturally fixing that. Though, I do have a small theory that if the user that isn’t you has a grand understanding of chaos itself, they’d be able to resist the effects for a much longer time, perhaps near indefinite depending on how crafty they really are. I say this due to you sounding like your usual self despite still using said potential, it’s clear that both your understanding and resistance of chaos is keeping your mind fully intact after the first sudden jolt of chaos. You do feel normal now, don’t you?” Discord asks
You feel normal now, despite flying in a box. “Yeah.”
“Then there you go, absolutely alright.” Discord said, sounding rather delighted that you seem ok.
“I guess. So uhh, why are you on a train anyway? Why not just teleport home?” You ask
“I wanted to, but Fluttershy was given the ticket for free and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful by not using it. She isn’t even aware I’m here, as if I’d reduce myself to paying for such inferior transportation. I’m just keeping an eye on her since she’s going to be arriving on time and I had nothing better to do but watch the tail end of her negotiations with the breezies and the animals.”
Wut? “I thought she was going to see Thorax about some friendship lessons or some shit like that.”
“Apparently it was both, I didn’t even realize she had gone to see the changelings until I noticed what was in her bags. I’m in her bags, by the way, in case you were wondering. Really, it seems like the universe itself wasn’t able to notice such an oversight.” Discord comments
Weird, you’d think Thorax would have mentioned that when you went to spy on them. But perhaps he wasn’t thinking about it at the time. And considering it was between you and Neighsay, you decided not to mention it to Discord. Thankfully, he wasn’t even asking questions about your going ons and your whereabouts. Clearly he cares more about the chaos you wrought than the finer details of what you’re doing. Still, best to end this call quick before he gets curious. “I see, ummm, actually, Discord, I’m a little busy at the moment, do you think we can talk some more later?”
“That’s fine, I was going to sneak up on Fluttershy anyway and have a friendly chat with her without outing myself as a stow away. Really though, Anon, I am proud of you. Ahh yes, one last thing, the wedding is tomorrow, another flagrant oversight I’m afraid, I wasn’t keeping track of time. But you didn’t need me to tell you that, right?” He tells you.
THE WEDDING?! IT’S TOMORROW?! “WHAT?! HOW?! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE DAY AFTER!”
“Yes, troubling, as if the crafter of the universe itself was so terrible with time management that we all somehow ended up out of the loop. Either way, I was actually prepared for this. Head of Security Starlight, and Best Stallion...er, filly...mare? Bah, I don’t know how it works, but Scootaloo, as well, will be waiting in your room tonight. A fun sleepover in which no multiple foalnapping was required to bring it all together. Really, given how out of order things seem to be, a little closeness might be just what you need.” Discord said, sounding rather untrustworthy yet trustworthy at the same time.
“You totally did do that, didn’t you?” He was being so obvious.
“Well, truth be told, I mean to, but Scootaloo was all for it and Starlight decided to be rather difficult and quite capable of herself. Ended up making a compromise, I help her and her friend move to Ponyville, she agrees to sleep in your room tonight. Really, part of me thinks she was willing to do it either way, but just wanted something out of it.” Discord mumbled a little there, as if he was displeased about it.
“Move? She’s moving to Ponyville? Does this have anything to do with Twilight or anything?” You ask
“Did you expect me to ask? Well, I didn’t. Really, Anon, does it even matter? Not everything centers around you, you know? It’s like how that emotionless pony just ended up living in the caves near Ponyville, even Pinkie was unaware until she showed up with her unpresently presence. Irks me sometimes though, as if that was somehow supposed to go a different way.” Discord said, wondering about his own words.
“Oh, you mean Maud? Yeah, I wasn’t even there for that, no one was… She just showed up and moved in without any fanfare. Something about passing some class and Pinkie never receiving a letter about it. She was pretty apologetic the whole day, Pinkie I mean… From what I hear, anyway.” Yeeeah, Discord was right. Events did happen without your input as well. Though it made you wonder where the letter went to remind Pinkie about Maud’s graduation. Either way, everything seemed to work out. You also have barely seen Maud personally, very barely. You both didn’t quite click as well as you thought you would, as if she could see something about you she didn’t really like.
“Well, either way, you’ll have some company when you get home as I will be catching up on tea time with Fluttershy soon. You have fun, Anon. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow. And really, I am truly proud” Discord said, with a positive affliction in his voice
“Yeah. Heh, Thanks! And see you too. Take care” And with that, the codec calls ends. Christ, the wedding is tomorrow, how the fuck could you lose track of time like that?! Well, at least Discord thought ahead, having Starlight and Scootaloo’s help should guarantee no fuck ups. First though, you had to deal with Neighsay. Speaking of which, you hadn’t realized it, but you had come to a complete stop.
Where the fuck were you? You poke your head out of the box just a bit to get a view of your surroundings. “Let’s see…” Well, this didn’t look inviting. You found yourself on top of a large desk, looking like one a business owner would own, with a quill dipped in an inkwell. Behind the desk was an elaborate looking chair with velvet red padding of the highest quality, and behind even that was a window surrounded by royal red curtains, the curtains open just enough to give you a peek through the night sky beyond. Ahead of you were dark red walls with shelves for various kinds of books and old scrolls. Torches hung higher up above, lighting the room with an ominous glow. And finally, the large wooden door with ponies etched upon it… Began to open. OH SHIT! WERE YOU IN SOME BOSS ROOM OR SOMETHING?! You decide to put on your horn, which, despite its upgrade, just like before, gave you the aura of Sombra. Still, basic unicorn magic and clever footwork should take down anyone who gets close to you. After placing the horn on your head, you duck back into the box.
“I can’t believe this, I knew reevaluating everything was the correct course of action. Buckball indoors, birthday parties for every student, constant field trips. What does this have to do with friendship?” You hear a familiar voice sneer as a door slams. “But what am I supposed to do? I could just bar the school from opening anyway, but I have already been too indecisive and such an action now is unbecoming of one such as myself. Ponies would talk...” Suddenly, the loud sound of books and scrolls slamming onto a table can be heard next to you. “I even guaranteed her full accreditation, with a pass on such a farce of a curriculum. The most I can do now is simply ask for some changes. That is unless, Anon has managed to find something substantial, something that would let me put an end to this dangerous- Hm? What’s this package?” You could tell now, that it was definitely Pedo Dr- Ah, you meant Neighsay. However, due to you being invested in his monologuing, you failed to remove your horn during the lifting of the lid. When Neighsay spotted you, he jumped back, startled, and immediately stood battle ready “What manner of creature is this?!”
Ahh fuck. You popped your head out of the box and waved your hooves at Neighsay frantically “Wait! Wait! It’s me WOAH!” Neighsay was quick to fire magical bolts at you the moment you sprung up. As if by thought, however, you create a defensive barrier that barely blocked his bolts. The force of his attack was strong enough to knock you back and off the table. “Gyah! Mr. Neighsay! Geez! It’s me! It’s me! Sthap!”
“What?” Neighsay, still cautious, was puzzled by what he heard “That voice, it sounds so-” And then his eyes went wide when he realized who you were. “Anon?! What in the wide wide world of Equestria were you doing in that box. And why such a horrifying disguise? Are you aware of what I could have done to you? What are you even doing in my office?”
T-thank god for your horn upgrade, that type of shot would have sent you straight through the damn window. You pop your horn off and look at Neighsay from the side of the table, being cautious yourself of his movements. “I dunno, I thought I’d be at my aunt’s cottage. I used my magic to deliver myself directly to you, so why don’t you tell me why we’re here! And yes, I’m danged aware...sheesh, you’re a shoot now and ask questions later sort of guy, aren’t you?”
Neighsay actually seemed rather subdued, perhaps even horrified by his own actions as he finally calmed himself, seeming more pleasant than he did when he was complaining about Twilight. “I see, it was your chaos magic then. My apologies, I was delayed by some of Princess Twilight’s ridiculous ideas she has for her school. I take full responsibility for being late for our meeting. As do I apologize for my rash behaviour. But we are now both here. So if you are willing, we can conduct our business if you wish. I’d like to think my office is a more pleasant place to speak anyway.”
Mnnngh, at least he was apologetic. But this creepy place ‘more pleasant’ than the cottage? Yeah no, he was full of shit. “It’s fine. So, I heard some of what you were talking about, did you go see Princess Twilight after I left?”
“Indeed I did, I wanted to perform a thorough evaluation of her lesson plans. But I also extended my good will to her, explaining that she has the support of the EEA and that if any changes were to be made, they would be minor. I decided to let her do what she wishes on an experimental basis and as an EEA accredited school. Of course…” Neighsay walked over to his chair and sat down, looking rather dark as he looked straight ahead. “Should any of her students pose a serious threat, or to be found out as one, it is within my power to not only close down her school, but make sure she can never reopen it or even create another. This, of course, is the consequence of besmirching the EEA and our high standards and… Oh…” Neighsay noticed, or rather, didn’t notice you at all. You were too small to be seen from over his desk. He realized he usually spoke to anyone he had to speak to from a certain distance, and even then, they usually weren’t so small. “Again, my apologies, Anon. Would you like me to get you a seat?”
“Can I just hop onto your desk?” You ask. For some reason, you felt sitting on a seat would be dangerous, like there’d be a trap door under it.
“No… This desk is expensive.” You couldn’t see it, but Neighsay was using his magic to open his door and slide in a less impressive wooden chair with green padding. He raises it, and gently plants it down in front of his desk. It was just the right height to meet him eye to eye. “Please sit.”
You do so, looking at the ground for any crease or crack that could mean it’d be a trap door. Nothing. “Alright… So, yeah… business.”
“Yes. So…” Neighsay looks you straight in the eye as he puts his forelegs together in a thinking pose. “What did you find out there? What are those creatures up to? Tell me everything, and do not leave out any details.”
Oof, he was dead serious on this one. What were you going to tell him? That you fought a dragon, made friends with one, and blew your cover? As much as you hated Twilight’s shit, this guy was clearly out to fuck her up in ways you never would. Friendship is something important to her, and you don’t think you’d go as far as to actually fuck that up. So you decide to just tell him certain details. “Yes sir, this is my report…”
And so, you gave Neighsay the cliff notes version of your investigation, a version in which you didn’t involve yourself in any compromising way. You told him you hid yourself as a dragon. That he was somewhat right in his thinking, as some dragons are indeed against ponies. But then you go on to how Incen was disciplined by Ember, and that she had no ill will towards ponies as well, and merely wanted to be friends. This, of course, extended to Smolder. “...I was even able to learn that Twilight’s student was outcasted by some of the other dragons due to being associated with ponies. I admit, with my disguise, I did speak to her one on one. Not only was she none the wiser, but she told me if just being associated with ponies and other creatures would get her hated, then she’d rather just be friends with ponies. Sir, it is clear to me that Princess Ember is making an effort to reform the dragon clans, as they seem to be ready to abandon their own over such matters. The student herself, as I mentioned, is of no threat, and only seeks to make friends with those willing to accept her.”
Neighsay sat there, quiet, and even lost in thought. You felt he was going to ask you some annoying questions, but you must have sounded official enough for him to buy what was mostly true anyway. After another moment, he finally spoke. “So, do you mean to tell me that this student is so despised by her own that she just so happens to accept us as possible friends? Are you sure? As with the changelings, this all could have been a ruse.”
Oh come on! Ok ok, just remain respectful and objective, Anon. “My disguise was perfect, sir, and even then, what reason would the dragons have to act that way without an outsider present?”
Neighsay said nothing, he merely leaned back on his chair and pondered. But even after a few minutes, he said nothing.
“Sir?” You say, more calmly, and even a little worried. Though, more of the situation than of himself.
Neighsay still said nothing as he got off his chair, and walked to his window, looking down onto the moonlit streets of Canterlot. “Anon, let me explain something to you. As Chancellor… No, as myself, all I wish for is the safety of every student in any school, and for them to reach peak excellence we all know they are capable of. And yet, whenever I go to see the students in any of our schools, they look at me with fear or scorn. Very rarely do I hear even the childish words of ‘You’re the greatest, Mr. Neighsay’. And as uplifting as it is to hear, it comes to me, as I said, very rarely. Even within you, I see that scorn despite you having the same honesty and integrity as I…”
Geezes christ, this guy has no fucking idea what he’s talking about when it comes to you. Except maybe that part where you see him with scorn. He was kind of an asshole.
“And then you come into my chambers, and tell me that a creature I view as our very enemy, is seen as one herself by her own peers, just because of the position she finds herself in. Furthermore, instead of seeking vengeance or proving herself among them, she wishes to attempt the same civility as us ponies. I’ve never heard of such a thing before, especially about a dragon. So for a moment, I thought you were telling me falsehoods. But I can see it in your eyes, it was indeed the truth. Am I a monster, Anon? For condemning those who I feel would jeopardize the safety of our fellow ponies?” Neighsay looked back at you, he was calmer, softer, but still stern in his appearance.
You also had no idea how to feel after that little speech. Was he coming around, just because of that? And even then, it’s not exactly evil to want to protect your fellow man… Or rather, ponies. Obviously, he was still kind of racist, but it seemed he was willing to budge. At least a little bit. “Well, sir, I don’t think you are. And there’s nothing wrong with being cautious. But if there’s a chance to have new friends and allies, I don’t see the harm in allowing that either.”
“Indeed… I am reminded on stories I read of Tirek’s original defeat, where his own brother, a non-pony, aided in his downfall. I am reminded of the union of buffalo and pony in Appeloosa, and indeed, you wouldn’t be where you are without your draconequus father. Perhaps I have been too judgemental, too rash in my decisions. And yet, the danger is still there, just like most of the enemies we still have in Equestria. Perhaps…” Neighsay looks over at the books he had taken for evaluation, and comes to his final conclusion “This can be propped as the ultimate test.”
Wut? “Ultimate test? What do you mean, sir?”
“It’s just as the name implies, a test. The Princess will have not only the full support and funding of the EEA, but she will be allowed to do exactly as she wishes. If by year’s end that she and her school have shown stupendous results, then her school will be considered the standard for any and all future friendship schools. But…” Suddenly, his very expression became ominous and near cruel “Should any of those creatures cause us misery and harm, then Princess Twilight will NEVER be allowed to teach her ways within a classroom ever again, and even her teachings outside of it will be banned. Only one of us can be right, Anon. Only one.”
Wellllll then, that’s quite the fucking gamble considering you only know the dragon and the changeling. Who fucking knows what the other students could be like. Considering younger ponies are mostly innocent, there couldn’t be one to turn this on top of it’s head by somehow being ridiculously evil. So, what could you even say? That is both the best and worst possible scenario anyone could hope for. Considering what this guy may have done without the information you gave him, this is probably for the best. “I see. Well, sir, I agree with and fully back your decision. But let me ask, what if the infractions are only minor? It’s not that I’m with the Princess or anything, but it sounds like you’d ban her for even the smallest thing.”
“Quite the contrary. Like with any good school, she should be able to discipline her students like any other head mare. These conditions are more for, say, if the students themselves revolt, conspire, attack, and other such things. And yes, if her disciplinary measures are inadequate, then that can also lead to the closure of her school. Anon, I only wish to do what is right. And as ridiculous as Princess Twilight’s ways of doing things are, they have yielded results before. But to involve such violent creatures… I’m still torn. Anon, I ask you for one last thing. Please reconsider your decision on joining her school, I’m sure the Princess would be glad to have somepony like you. And with you there, you’d be able to make sure no incidents occur… Or at least get out of hoof. You’d be able to make sure the students are safe. It’s the last thing I ask of you, and you too, will have the EEA’s full support and any resource you may need from us. What say you, Anon?” The way he looked at you, it was as if he was begging.
Well, it’s not like you weren’t. Probably would be a good time now to let him know you’d be going to the school. “Yeah, that’s not a problem. I didn’t mention it before, but I’ll be going to school a week after it opens. So I could probably check things out beforehand too if you’re really that worried. The only thing I ask, Chancellor, is for you to relax a little. I can tell it really worries you, but I promise not to let you down.” You do a polite bow to him. It was clear this guy wasn’t evil at this point, just ridiculously lawful good. He just wanted everything to be ok on his terms. Really, it was pretty admirable to you compared to the princesses. This guy, a hardass and unwilling to give others much of a chance, looked to you with absolute trust and respect. It started to blow you away when you came to this realization. “I really do promise that, sir, as I understand that you just want everypony to be safe.”
“Thank you.” And finally, Neighsay relaxes completely, even letting out a small tired yawn. “You have eased this old stallion’s heart. I knew you had initiative, Anon, and your honesty is something everypony should strive for. But…” He looks over at Twilight’s books and scrolls. “I am sadly still very busy, and have much more work to do. I must ask you to take your leave, but if there’s anything you need, perhaps even some food, I’d not mind having it fetched for you. I can’t imagine how tired you must be after such a day.”
D’awww, he offered you food. Wait, why is that cute? Either way, you had two ponies waiting for you, so it was probably good not to meander around. “I’m good. But can I get a cup of water? I need it to go home, unless there’s another water source nearby.”
“Ah, well, there is a fountain outside you can use. Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” Neighsay asked again, sounding like he wanted to at least give you something.
“Really, it’s fine. Trust me, I got food at home and my horn can pretty much get me whatever I need.” You say.
“Well, alright then. Goodbye Anon, until we meet again.” Neighsay says with a small respectful nod of his head.
“Goodbye sir, and don’t worry, I won’t let you down.” And with that, you left his office in search of the fountain.
“Urgh… What happened? Dammit, shouldn’t I have fell on my bed? What is this place?” You said to yourself as you looked around in an oddly false looking forest. You had just used your horn to open a portal back to your room, but what ended up actually happening was you falling on your face into some odd wooded area. Sure, the trees looked real enough, but they were all kind of uniform in their placement, and all of them were sameish; a thick trunk that led up to a cloudy looking set of leaves. And the night sky, those stars, they looked almost drawn in. This certainly wasn’t the Everfree, that’s for sure. “Hello? Anypony out there?” You call out as you begin to make your way forward through the forest.
No paths, no stones, hell even the grass was uniform and nice looking, something about all this just didn’t feel right. Worse, as you ventured into this false forest, you started to feel something was watching you. You could hear the leaves shifting despite there being no wind. “Hello? Discord?... Chrysalis? Luna? Dammit, Luna! I don’t even know if I’m asleep, and this ain’t funny!”
Left, right, left, up, and back to right, and yet you still noticed nothing. You began to slowly reach for your horn, but as your hoof came upon you, you suddenly felt a horrible jolt as your body filled with electrical energy. You started flailing on the ground as you made incomprehensible noises. “AFSDASFASDFCSAD”
Suddenly, Discord, garbed in a fancy black suit and sunglasses while holding a yellow gun towards you, puts his paw to his ear and began to speak. Oddly enough, he also had a badge on him with the number ‘2’. “Commander Star, come in Commander Star, I have neutralized the intruder.” He said with a very cold and monotonous voice. He just looked upon you as he stood there, then answered when an apparent voice spoke to him. “Yes, the intruder is a colt. Yes, he has a chaos cutie mark. Hmmm…” He looks to you, and asks “Is your name Anon?”
“DSGFFDFSDFDFS” Was all you could say as you shook and sputtered from electrical shocks.
“He isn’t giving me a name. Hrm? Yes, that would be a good reason for you to be angry, as I did neutralize him after all. Let him go? Are you sure, Comm-... Well alright then.” Discord presses a button on his gun, retracting an electrical line that had apparently connected into you when he fired. He holsters his powerful stun gun and gestures at you with two taloned fingers. “My apologies, sir. Please, go on, I shall continue my duty.” And with that, like a ninja, he hops backwards into the upper parts of a tree and disappears.
“N-ngh...W-what… Discord, why? G-g-ghhhhhhhh…” You said as your body let out a hint of chicken as a scent. Christ, you felt like your body was lit up and wasted at the same time. You were shaky as you stood, every hair on you standing on end. “D-dammit, that wasn’t even funny. The hell was wrong with him?” You started to walk, but your body was still feeling rather short circuited, you zig-zagged towards a tree and held on to it to steady yourself. “Where the hell is this? Who was he talking to?” You groaned, took a few moments to rest, and tried to walk forward once again. This time, you were able to maintain yourself, but your anger was more focused as well. “Fucking prick, I’m totally gonna rat him out to Fluttershy. That’ll… What?”
Moving forward through the forest, you notice a lantern light ahead of you. You duck behind a tree, and take a peek at what looked like a large and basic wooden table where four figures were playing a card game. Three Discords, and a… Wait, is that Scootaloo? Goddammit, you were at the house?! Then, why? Why did Discord zap you? Wait, there are multiple Discords on that table, all dressed like the one who attacked you, but with the badges marked ‘3’,’4’, and ‘5’. Goddammit, of course, Discord was with Fluttershy, so these must be individually minded clones or some shit like that. So what? Did the one who attacked you really not know who you were? Dammit Discord, quality over goddamn quantity, LEARN IT!
“Young Scootaloo, would you have any fives?” ‘4’ asked, politely, with a soft spoken yet intelligent sounding voice.
“Nope, go fish!” Scootaloo said, in a rather snarky and upbeat tone.
“Ah, well, seems my luck is rather terrible today. Well, not as bad as Number Three’s anyway.” The Discord who’s name was literally number four said as he took a card.
“Nyeh, don’t be a wise guises, Numbah Four. I’m just playins the long game, Ain’t I Numbah Five?” Number three said. Despite his appearance being exactly like Discord, his voice was an annoying mobster-like Italian accent.
Then there was Number Five, an apparent strong and silent type that merely shakes his head as he focused on his cards.
“Eh, who askeds yous anyway?” Number Three said as he flipped down his sunglasses to hide his very apparent frustration.
“Well, Number Three, I got something to ask. Got any threes?” Scootaloo looked to him with a cocky look.
He shrugs “Tough luck, short stuff. I ain’t gots no threes, other than mah badge of course.” Number Three said with a rather cocky response of his own.
“He’s lying, I’ve already managed to deduce most of the cards and the owners of said cards in this game. He, in fact, has a very high chance of having at least one three.” Number Four says as he starts to reorder his cards.
“Ohs yeah? And what’s that chance exactly?” Number Three said, raising his sunglasses to give him an intimidating stare.
“Oh, just a small number that I’d like to call… One hundred percent.” Number Four said with a chuckle
Three’s eyes burst into a red fire as he throws the table upwards in a rage “I DON’TS GOTTA TAKE NOTHIN OF THIS! I’MS GETTIN’ BACK TO WORK NOW! AIN’TS GOT TIME FOR KIDS' GAMES.” And with a snap, he disappeared from his chair in a near fiery teleport.
Number Five simply looks upwards and stands. He then jumps upwards and expertly catches the table and all the flipped cards, able to throw them back down to the ground in the exact same placement with a 'table throw' as he flings the cards like they were shurikens back onto the top of the table. He then lands back on the ground, in front of his chair, and sits calmly and silently as he catches the last remaining cards in the air, which happened to be his hand, and goes back to looking at them with nary a word.
“Woah…” Scootaloo just sat on her seat, amazed at Five’s amazing feat.
“Indeed, Number Five is a sight to behold when he’s motivated. My apologies, young Scootaloo, for Three’s actions. He is of a rude sort.” Four, sensing the game was over, put his cards down and looked to Scootaloo apologetically.
“It’s ok, he’s just a sore loser. You guys are cool though, erm, you’re much nicer than him and, uh… Can I say you’re nicer than Discord? Since you’re all technically him?” Scootaloo said, worried if she was going to offend the pair.
“It’s quite alright. Despite us being his magically created doppelgangers, we are, in fact, capable of independent thought. And for the record, we enjoy your company. Isn’t that right, Number Five?” Four asks Five, his pleasantness never faltering for a moment.
Five nods, then reaches over to gently pet Scootaloo on the head. She just lets it happen, smiling and accepting the affection. But then she looks to Four, and frowns. “So, what about when it’s all over then? What will happen to all of you?”
“Oh, we’ll disappear into the ether, as is the fate of anything our originator usually creates at his own whim.” Four says, with no worry or fear in his voice, as if he didn’t mind disappearing from the world.
“But you guys are pretty cool! Why can’t you just exist? Doesn’t it scare you that you’ll just disappear? What about our friendship?” Scootaloo sounded rather distressed, it seems during her time here, she had actually made good friends with the Discord clones. “I don’t wanna sound mean or anything, but Discord is kind of a jerk. And you guys? You guys are totally not jerks! So why?!”
Four looked to her calmly, but his voice, there was some lament growing into it as he looked to Five “It doesn’t scare us, we all already understand that it is just the natural disorder of things. As for our friendship, it will always remain true, even upon our disappearance. Every time Discord creates versions of himself, he actually creates extensions of himself. Once we disappear, our memories will be his memories. And at that point, he will only be in denial about it. Not much will change on the outside, but you may notice a few subtle changes. The fact he made the choice to make you Anon’s ‘Best Stallion’ shows he actually has quite a bit of trust in you. I can only imagine that trust will expand after the night is over.”
“Yeah, well…” Scootaloo looked down at the table, still visibly upset about the situation “He’s still not you guys. Well, he is you and the others, but y’know…” Scootaloo sighs and closes her eyes for a moment before feeling a gentle pat on her head. She then looks up to see Five silently sitting next to her, gently patting her head to let her know it’s ok. “I’m really going to miss you guys…”
“It will be alright, we promise. For now, I suggest we forget such unpleasantness by pointing out the fact that Anon has been behind that tree since Three’s temper tantrum.” Four points behind Scootaloo, right at the tree you were peeking from.
Goddammit, how did he notice you?! He probably noticed you from the very start to be honest. Even if it’s a Discord clone, you wouldn’t put it past him or any other not to be observant. Still, considering what you witnessed, it was probably safe to pop out. it also seemed Scootaloo was getting along with a few of them just fine, even befriending them. In a sense, it did kind of suck, since they’d probably not exist beyond tomorrow.
“Anon? Are you really back there?” Scootaloo looks behind herself from her seat, curious to see if you were really there.
“Yeah, I’m here. Hey, Scoots, how’re you doing?” You make yourself visible, and wave to her with a smile.
“Doing better than you, what happened?! You look like you got into a fight with an electric eel and lost.” Scootaloo said as she pointed to you, half shocked and half amused by your appearance. Indeed, you truly were frazzled from the other Discord’s attack.
“Hey! It’s not my fault! One of these guys attacked me when I got here!” Goddammit, just no fucking respect. She just had to point out how goofy you looked.
“Ah, that would be Two. He is the type to attack first and ask questions later. Ahrm, Number Five?” Four says calmly, snapping his talons.
Five calmly stands, and looks over to you. Just the way he stood, almost statuelike, it felt imposing. “Woah, woah, hey! What’s he gonna do?”
“Oh, I can guess this one! He’s just going to fix Anon’s mane and coat, right?” Scootaloo said excitingly “Man, it’s always totally cool when Number Five does anything.”
“Correct! Very good, Scootaloo, very good. Anon, if you please, stand still and allow Number Five to do his work.” Four asked you as he praised Scootaloo’s accurate guess.
“Are you serious? That guy is cracking his… Knuckles? Look, I can fix it myself, I don’t need any more Draconequus clones touching me today.” You started to back up. Fuck this, the guy looked like he was gonna bruise you up.
“C’mon, Anon, don’t be a baby! Number Five is really good! Look!” Scootaloo hopped off her chair and showed off her wings. At first, you thought he made them flight worthy, but it was something more conventional. Her wings looked cleaner, every feather properly placed, and most of all, they looked perfectly preened. “Number Five fixed up my wings really good. Not only was it relaxing, but I can almost float now!” Scootaloo hops up in the air, and managed to maintain her small increase in height for at least ten seconds before gently landing. “See? He’s amazing!”
“I… Guess? I mean…” You had to admit, it was pretty good work. “Erm… Ugh, fine. But it better be as good as that wingjob. Alright, uh, Five? Do your work.” You say, still sounding reluctant in your tone.
Five nods, and jumps in a spiraling spin and lands behind you. You jump forward, startled, as you then get instantly grabbed and fondled in a way that made you think of a cat being overloved by its owner. “Hey! Get off! Don’t touch...wait, nnmmmmm… T-this…” Wow, he was… Really good. No homo or anything, but your body started to feel limp from the relaxing feelings caused by his handling of your body. “T-this is really… Nice.” You just kind of hung there as Five did his work. You were in a dreamlike state at this point.
“Woah, I’ve never seen Anon so calm before. Well, except when he’s asleep.” Scootaloo was impressed, she really hadn’t seen, or at least remembered, seeing you so serene.
“Oh, I’m sure he’s had his moments, depending on his current company anyway.” Four says as he snaps his talons, producing a basic looking chess board. “Young Scootaloo, you had mentioned you had an interest in chess. Would you care to have a go?”
“Oh, uh, sure!” Scootaloo’s attention went back to Four as she tapped at one of the pawns on the board “Maybe if I play with you, I can get good enough to beat Scrappy. He’s really REALLY good at this game.”
“Indeed. Well then, perhaps I can give you a few tips to help you as well.” Four says as he readies the pieces, choosing to start as black.
“That’ll be really cool! Maybe I can stand a chance against him then. Oh, wait, what about Number Five and Anon?” Scootaloo asked.
“Five won’t mind just watching, he’s actually quite poor at the game. As for Anon, he’ll most likely want to speak to Starlight.” Four says as he looks to Scootaloo with a calm smile.
“Oh, because of that thing, right? Ugh, could you believe what she said? About some weird flying machines that can move faster than Rainbow Dash, RAINBOW DASH! Like, that’s totally dumb. Rainbow Dash is waaaayyyyy faster than some stupid machine.” Scootaloo says dismissively, crossing her forelegs with a huff.
Four chuckles to himself as he takes a glance at you “Balderdash indeed, at least in the fact that such a machine does not yet exist in our realm, or may ever exist despite what she has said. By that fact alone, Rainbow Dash is indeed the fastest.” Four was being deceptive in his words. He was being 'truthful' while still sounding like he was on Scootaloo’s side, which Scootaloo did not catch on as she nodded and completely agreed with him.
As for you, Five finally put you down after that massive grooming massage. You felt calm, cool, collected, and at ease in your mind. You also looked damned slick, with your coat nice and shiny and your mane cute and well combed. “Geez… I feel great! That was pretty good… Er, Five, right?”
Five simply nodded, and gave you a thumbs up.
“Y-yeah, thanks." These guys, they were all so unique despite looking the same. You wondered if you had their personalities pegged, and if there were any more of them. "So like, let me get this straight then. Two jumps the gun, Three is… I dunno, a sore loser? Four, you’re smart and polite, and then Five here is silent but pretty cool. So does that make Starlight Number One? And are there like, a Six or Seven?” You asked
“No, Number One is Starlight’s close associate. And Five is the last of us” Four states.
Ah, so only four of them then? “Oh, Trixie? She's Number One?” Huh, that makes sense.
But Scootaloo turns around again, and shakes her head “Nah, I think Trixie is still setting up her wagon in Ponyville. Number One is another clone. I dunno about him, he’s kind of a wimp. He’s creepy too, he always does what Starlight tells him with a smile. Who does that anyway? Like, he does whatever she says and just smiles about it.” Scootaloo states with a small shudder.
Wait… “Hold on, are you telling me my Dad made a subservient clone? Why would he do that? That doesn’t sound like him at all.”
Four takes off his sunglasses and cleans them with a cloth from his suit’s front pocket “He was in a rush to see Fluttershy, I do believe that is enough said about that subject.”
Right, that does make sense. “I see, yeah, that sounds about right. Man…” Scootaloo was right, these guys really were nice. It made you feel a sense of melancholy knowing they wouldn’t exist for much longer. “You guys are pretty cool. I’m with Scootaloo on this one, it’s gonna be kinda sad to see you all go… Cept for Two, that guy is a buttmunch.”
“Well, to be truthful, we weren’t supposed to have much of a personality due to the chance of you being attached to us. But again, Fluttershy. Yes, I admit, I do have a lament in my heart over having to go. But I can look forward to becoming a good memory. For now, I say we just enjoy our time together. As for you, Anon, I do believe you have some business with the Commander, correct? You were the one who sent her all those aviation plans, right?” Four asked you as he watched Scootaloo make her first move.
You nod “Yeah. I also want to see what she has planned for tomorrow. So, what? Did she go crazy over those blueprints or something?” Did she really become that much of a technophile?
Four nods as he takes his turn “She did, it seems she has truly become enamored as Chrysalis when it comes to human creations.”
“Puh, why did you have to say her name? Bug Breath is so awful and uncool. The only good thing to come out of her was Scrappy and the other changelings… Y’know, after they became good. I mean, if she tried to save Anon then I guess that’s ok. But then she could be just saving him to finish him off herself. Grrr… If she even tries it, I’ll tear her apart!” Scootaloo says as she stomps her hindlegs down on her seat. It was obvious, even after all this time, that she still just hated her guts.
“Relax yourself, Young Scootaloo, you let your prejudices cloud your judgement. While we may not know her current status right now, the fact that there is a chance for her redeeming herself is something we should hope for. Better an ally than an enemy. And besides, with a changeling, it is obvious to know when they have changed into their pleasant form. In that sense, we’ll know where she currently stands once she does show herself. Now, let us relax. You won’t be able to focus on your movements if you fret over this. As for you, Anon, if you wish to see the Commander, simply head east. The campsite isn’t too far, and the light from the fire is easy enough to spot.” Four says as he patiently waits for his turn.
Well, goddamn. The guy is even hopeful, how weird. “Yeah, he’s right. If Chrysalis turns into a weird color bug, then everything should be fine. It’ll be ok, Scoots, she won’t do anything to me.”
“What if she fakes it? What if she just pretends to redeem herself to get close to you and destroy you?!” Scootaloo demanded an answer for this. To be fair, it was a pretty good question.
“I’ll take this one. Young Scootaloo, Chrysalis does not make compromises nor will she ever compromise her feelings in such a way. She would never be willing to fake THAT transformation, most likely due to the anger she most likely feels towards it. But, on the same coin, her not transforming into it could be bad if her heart is filled with said rage, as it'd make it more difficult to help her. Anon, you really should caution yourself should you have such a meeting with her.” Four calmly advises. Damn, he had the situation pretty well assessed.
“Mnnn… I guess. Either way, I just don’t want her to hurt anypony. Sometimes I think she’d even hurt Scrappy if she ever saw him again, I really think she's angry enough to do it. I just… I just don’t really like her, that’s all.” Scootaloo calms herself, but still grumbles as she haphazardly takes her turn.
“I promise it’ll be fine, Scoots. Look, I can see the subject is getting you really upset, so I’m just gonna leave you to your chess game. You’ll be ok, right?” You ask. You just wanted to let her cool off at this point. She was obviously really sensitive about the subject and you felt just being around her, with your feelings being positive towards Chrysalis, wouldn’t help her mood.
“Yeah, I guess I’ll be ok. Just…” Scootaloo gets up from her chair, and walks over to give you a hug, she then gives you a stern look “Don’t let yourself fall for her tricks, ok? You promise?”
Man, the way she was acting, it was almost like she was the one you were going to get fake married to. “I promise, I got a good handle on how she is. If anything, I think I know her more than she knows me at this point. So yeah, nothing bad is gonna happen, promise.”
“Good… Erm, ok. Also, when you go to see Starlight, just tell her the truth about those plane things. That they can’t go faster than Rainbow Dash. Got it?” Scootaloo looks at you with the most soul piercing look she could muster. Dammit, how were you supposed to get around this one? Well, you could just try what Four did and just make it sound dodgy and complicated.
“I’ll make sure to tell her the absolute truth about it” Ok, not so complicated, but just as dodgy.
“Good! C’mon, Number Five, watch me beat Number Four at chess!” Scootaloo, feeling calmer already, and quite competitive, instantly enters the mindset of a champion.
Five simply nods, and calmly sits back on his chair. While looking stoic, he did have this aura about him that showed he was really rooting for Scootaloo.
With that, and a few goodbyes, you head east to find Starlight and Number One.
Wow, five completely different clones as security detail. Two of them that, to you, are ridiculous in their own right. One that seemed to be lazy and a cheat, the other being a gungho professional. You really had to hope Starlight would be able to direct them properly. At least they seem to follow her directions.
Speaking of, you notice the flickering light of the camp up ahead. You once again decide to hide behind a nearby tree as you gaze upon the campsite. There were two medium sized tents, a picnic table, and a campfire that burned bright enough to light the entire area. And then you saw the pair, Starlight and her current cohort, Number One, who was dressed like all the others.
Starlight was sitting at the picnic table, tons of books and blueprints at her side, as she took her time to read through the schematics of some super fast jet. “Is this even possible, Number One? Can this ‘X-15’ really break the sound barrier? It says here in the history pamphlet that it can reach a speed called mach six. That’s kinda far fetched, I could see why Scootaloo had a hard time believing it, even I’m skeptical.”
“Oh yes, Commander, I agree, very very unbelievable. But it isn’t a lie either, that vehicle is able to break the sound barrier six times over, its truly remarkable. Second only to you.” Number one said, his movements and manner of speech rather flamboyant as he sucked up to Starlight.
“Six times over, huh? Well, if that’s the truth, then it really is pretty crazy to think about. Rainbow Dash is fast, but this jet plane could fly from my old house to Canterlot in less than an hour, maybe minutes. I’d really like to build one of these but…” Starlight sighs “The materials, and the fuel needed to run it all, not to mention all the gadgetry, it kinda makes it near impossible to put together. Also, it’s not only beyond anything I’ve managed to learn, but I doubt even Equestria’s best aeronautics teams would be able to figure it out. Gyro-copters and magic powered propellers are one thing, but this? Not even the alicorn princesses could power this unless they became a literal battery to it.”
“Agreed, very much agreed, Commander.” One says with constant nods.
“Then there are these jumbo jets and commercial planes. These things could transport so many ponies and so much cargo at once, that it also seems ridiculous. Sure, we have blimps and balloons that function the same way, but they lack the speed these things have. If only I had all the tools and all the materials to make these, I’d at least try to build a sizable prototype that uses magic to power it.” Starlight lets out a soft chuckle to herself as she sat back “I bet if I actually studied crafting, or at least had a cutie mark in it, this would be so much easier for me. Actually, I wonder if Sunburst would be able to do anything with these.”
“Well, Commander Star, I don’t wish to sound like a yespony, but the skills you have been developing thus far has been extraordinary in terms of growth. Ever since you acquired that taser from Anon, you have managed to improve yourself as you applied yourself.” Number One said enthusiastically, swinging his arm around to really bring it home.
“Yeah, I am pretty great, aren’t I?” Starlight said, relaxing as her confidence overtakes her a bit. “Well, anyway, making one of these helicopters might be doable. But again, I need materials and a way to move the helicopters themselves. But they are close enough to our gyrocopters to at least substitute some of these materials with our own to make some sort of prototype. And… Oh, another weapons schematic, throw it in the fire.” Starlight, as she looked over the various schematics, uses her magic to hand a particular one to Number One for him to burn. It seems she wasn’t too privy on the weapons some of these planes were meant to have. “Can’t let anypony even see any of those. If it’s one thing Anon has said to me that is now perfectly clear, it’s that humans are horribly destructive creatures. Did you see the schematics for the weapons meant for those bomber planes? Horrible…” Starlight, it seemed, really wanted nothing to do with human weaponry at all.
“Yes, I did. Truly horrible, I agree. As you mentioned before, these weapons could easily decimate entire populations in little time. A knowledge nopony should have.” Number One said as he threw the schematics into the flame.
“Yeah, that’s totally right, which is why we're burning them. And that should be the last weapon schematic too, so no worries about that. And speaking of Anon.” Starlight begins to frown as a thought of destruction comes upon her mind “He’s got a pretty dangerous weapon too, and it’s from our universe. I’m glad he’s on our side, he’d be worse than Discord if he suddenly went nuts. I can see it in him sometimes… Just, y’know, this willingness to go further than even most monsters would.”
“Well, we needn’t worry. Anon cares about his friends and this world. And even then, it’s not like you couldn’t stomp him if he ever tried. You are one of the most accomplished Unicorns in Equestria. Just as great as Starswirl and much more powerful than Twilight Sparkle.” Number One said like any suck up would, encouraging Starlight just because she was his superior.
“Y’know, I think that’s true. I mean, it wasn’t a good thing, but I was powerful enough to rip Cutie Marks away from ponies. Anon? Sure, he passed his training, but if it was just me and him? I think I could beat him. His chaos magic is powerful, that’s for sure, but he isn’t very practical with it and usually monologues about something before casting a spell. I wonder how skilled he’s really become at this point.” Starlight said, almost to herself, as she tapped her chin in thought.
“Not as skilled as you, Commander. I’d say you’d be able to take him down in a fight. Anytime, anywhere, and without much effort. You truly are the best unicorn ponies have to offer.” Number One said with a bow.
Starlight snickers at that “I don’t want to blow my own horn, but that could be true. If I had a little more time, I would have had a much better time spell than Starswirl. As for me against Anon? Again, I have the skill and the power. Is that bad to even say? I feel kind of bad, but it just seems like something Anon would think about all the time.”
“Don’t feel bad, Commander. Anon is very usually quite arrogant. He usually thinks he could beat anypony in a fight, even you. Which we both know just isn’t true.” Again, Number One says like the kissass he is.
As for you, you were insulted. How could she say that?! Sure, she was good at magic, but you were even better with a limited double charge. Besides, you had strategy, cunning, skill, good looks, and you could hop around like a damned Mexican jumping bean. And you were a hell of a lot better now than you were before the training. Dammit Starlight… No, you know what? Fuck it, you could beat her without your charges. You were goddamn ANON! THE FUCKING HERO COLT! And you just beat the shit out of a goddamned dragon. Hell, you’ve beaten two! You weren’t about to let yourself get downplayed by a pony and her goon! So you finally decide to reveal yourself, approaching the camp calm, but with a fury burning deep inside. “Hello, Starlight. How’re you doin?”
“Anon?!” Starlight nearly jumped off the bench in surprise at your sudden appearance, and then realizing what she had said and talked about with Number One, she suddenly felt self conscious and even guilty about what she had been saying. “Hello, Anon. Didn’t notice you… at all. Erm, I was just looking over all the schematics you sent me. I have to say, it’s really amazing stuff.”
“I know, trust me, I’ve seen it all a thousand times back in my old life.” You say as you sit on the bench opposite of Starlight on the picnic table, and just look at her with a hard stare.
“Yeah, really neat, haha.” Starlight said with a nervous chuckle, noticing you acting off. She doesn’t sugarcoat it, and realizes why you seemed so miffed. “Yeah… You heard what we we’re saying, didn’t you?”
“I did. Didn’t know you wanted to actually fight me. Then again, it seems you think you could actually beat me in a straight up duel.” You say as you look at your own right hoof stoically.
“Ok, Anon, come on. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I have experience you don’t have. I mean, I worked hard to become as skilled as I am. Sure, you’re powerful too, but it was all pretty much given to you. And ok, you trained, but that was more physical than mental OR magical… Ok, that sounds kind of bad, but you get what I’m saying. I just think I have an edge when it comes to actual combat. It’s nothing against you, you’ve proven yourself. But without your charges, you’re left at a big disadvantage and… Ok, I’m gonna be quiet now.” Starlight was realizing that no matter how well she tried to put it, she was making herself out to be better than you.
“Yes, Anon, she’s right. You needn’t be jealous of the commander, she simply is too good for you to truly understand.” Number One said in a mocking tone.
Starlight slapped her face with her hoof and slowly dragged it down, bewildered by Number One’s words. “...Not...Helping.”
“Well, considering how skilled I’ve become lately, I think we should have that fight you want so badly. I’m out of charges too, so you’ll really be eating your words when you lose to me.” Like, seriously? Where does she get off? Where does HE get off? You worked hard! You worked hard to get where you were at, so what the fuck were they talking about?
“Anon! Will you relax?! I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t even mean to say those things! It’s just...Ugh, you just… It’s him!” She points to Number One “He brought out the worst in me! I get a little in over my head when… Ugh, I’m not gonna say it. I’m just saying, my ego may have been inflated a little. I’m sorry, ok? I really am.”
“Ah… I apologize as well, to the commander of course. I didn’t mean to be the cause of these hostilities. I only meant to praise the one who deserves it, which is her, of course.” Number One said, like the little bitch he was.
“Ok, but I still want to challenge you. Let’s just say you’re the true final boss to all my training. If you’re as good as you say, then I’ll need to pull out all the stops to be able to trounce you. I mean, if you were just all talk, then I understand. No worries.” You say with a shrug, hoping for her to agree, so you could prove yourself proper to those who you associate with. You really didn't care for her apology.
“Anon, I’m not going to fight you. Come on, you’re acting crazy. We’re good friends, remember?” Starlight tried talking sense into you, bringing up the friendship you both share. As if that’d work.
“What are you, chicken?” You say as a retort.
“Uncalled for, but I get it, and I deserve that. I’m super sorry, Anon. Come on, I just don’t want to end up hurting you and… Oh no…” Starlight slapped herself when she said those words “Why do you keep saying these things, Starlight?” She says to herself before looking back at you with great concern. “Anon, c’mon, please? How about we just talk about these schematics? Or maybe we can talk about why I’m moving to Ponyville? I’m sure you heard about that from Twilight or something, right?” Starlight says, trying to look at you with a nervous but pleasant grin. "We could even fly a kite and relax if you want."
So, she thinks she’d end up hurting you, eh? Time to pull out the big guns. “Yeah, you’re a chicken. The kind of chicken who goes back to her wife named Trixie to get fucked in the butt!”
Starlight went wide eyed, her eyes shifting towards you while she herself was in utter shock “What did you just say?”
“I said you take it up the butt from Trixie every night because your pussy, which is where you pee from just to let you know, is too filled with chicken shit to let her plow you the normal way!” That oughta do it it.
Starlight just started silently nodding, then she looked over to Number One. “ Uh huh… Hrm. Number One, you mind getting Anon’s gear? I want to make sure he’s ready for the… How would he put it?”
“Ass-whupping, Commander.” Number One tells her, unshaken by you or your words “And might I say, that you totally have this in the bag.”
“Right…” Starlight then looks to you, suddenly angry and determined. “ASS-WHUPPING, ANON! BECAUSE I’M GONNA BEAT YOU SO HARD, THAT EVEN YOUR NON EXISTENT GREAT GRANDFOALS WILL KNOW WHO IS THE BEST! AND AFTER THAT!? I’M GONNA RAM TRIXIE SO FAR UP YOUR BUTT THAT YOU’LL BE COUGHING UP HER GREAT AND POWERFUL HAT!”
O-oh, oh shit. Erm, you may have gone too far with that one. Her face was practically red with rage. You didn’t know you could piss her off enough to say something like that. “U-uhm, Starlight? I-I don’t think that’s how it works…”
“I DON’T CARE! I’M ANGRY! I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT! NUMBER ONE, SUIT HIM UP! I… MNNGRR… Mngh.” Starlight was doing her best to calm down. She lost her head there, and part of her didn’t care. Either way, she realized, like before, that she could come to do something she’d regret. But even with that guilt in mind, she still wanted to fight. Her mind was now made up to see who was actually better in a fight. “I’m gonna need a minute to prepare. Also have to call up the other guards and ask them to stear clear and guard Scootaloo. And as for being ready, you better be ready to back up what you say, Anon. Because now you’re gonna get that fight. Oh yeah, you're gonna get it.” Starlight was revved up, peeved, and ready to throw down for sure. She walked off into one of the tents to calm herself further and make the call.
You just stood there, blinking, as your saddle bag appeared on your sides. Now you were wondering if you went too far. Sure, you wanted to prove you were strong. But Starlight, in retrospect, is pretty scary when it came to magical power. “I uhh… Ok, erm… “ Like really, the thought of proving yourself still hung in your mind. Hell, given she asked to bring in your saddle bag, she obviously wanted you to use the tools you did have to level the playing field. Given that Garble decided to force you to use your horn, you never had a chance to prove just how great you were without it. You knew Starlight was a fair fighter, or at least you hoped she was, this could be the fight you were looking for. Still, you turn to Number One, and ask him. “Do you think this is a good idea?”
“I do” Number One says with a nod
“Really?” You ask
“Indeed, it’ll prove that the commander is the best unicorn in the land, and I’m all up for that.” Number One said as he gave you an evil grin.
“So, they really gonnas do it? They gonna scrap?” Asked Number Three as he approached Number One, who was leaning against a tree. One himself was watching you and Starlight face each other, unmoving, both of you ready to strike on the word go. You both decided to fight in a spot away from the camp, and away from Scootaloo’s sight. She didn’t need to see the violence, and so she was not even told about it.
“I’m afraid so, Anon is about to learn why the Commander is the strongest unicorn in the land.” One said, confident in Starlight’s abilities.
“Uh huh. Wells, I do loves a good scrap. But eh, be a shame if nothing came out of it when it comes to the twos of us, you get what I’m sayin’?” Three asked as he moved to One’s side and nudged him a few times with his elbow.
“Are you asking for a bet, Number Three?” One looked to Three, interested in his preposition.
“Suuuure, that’s exactly it. C’mon Number One, this is yer chance to make some real moolah. Who do ya think is gonna win? How much I’ms puttin’ ya down for?” Three asked as he pulled out a suitcase of… Well, you wouldn’t know now would you? It just looked like some strange green grubs.
“It should be obvious that I’m betting on the commander.” Said Number One as he pulled out a sack and tossed it onto the ground next to Number Three, it squirmed and wiggled as if in distress.
“Figured. Wells, bettin’ on Anon right here, he’s a real shoe in!” Number Three said with confidence.
“How do you figure?” Asked Number One, highly doubtful of his words.
“The kid is a regular crackerjack! One of them Mary Sue types. Youse be an idiot not to pick the kid.”Number Three said with certainty “Can’t beat somepony that everypony loves n’ all that”
“Love? Mary Sue? Are you on something, Number Three?” Number One said with a scoff.
“On somethin’? What are you implyin’? I’m as straight as spaghetti!” Number Three said with sudden agitation, shaking his pawed fist at Number One.
“Truly…” One said with a whisper before informing him on how wrong he was “Anon is no mary sue, despite his powers being given to him. You see, Anon is actually quite the failure when it comes to his time here in Equestria. Instead of getting Pinkie Pie, he has to settle for Diamond Tiara. Instead of being adored by the four princesses, they instead are either suspicious of him, don’t treat him seriously, or force themselves to be very friendly with him at times… That last one mostly goes to our fair Twilight Sparkle. Not to mention that the friend he identified with the most, you know, the one he failed to properly protect, is now public enemy number one to the ponies. So tell me again how he’s a Mary Sue.”
“Huh… E-erm, well. C-can I switch out my bet?” Three asked, as he began to sweat on the fact he made a bad choice. Or a choice he felt that was bad anyway.
“Of course not! You already made your bet, you can’t swap it out now. Too bad for you, Number Three.” Number One said with a chuckle “To think, you’d bet against the Commander like that. What a fool you are.”
“I’ll also bet on Anon.” Said a voice, as a giant platinum case falls to the ground, between Three and One, with a loud thud. “Chances for him winning are high, better than the Commander’s.”
Both Three and One looked up to the bushes of the nearby tree, and saw Number Two poking his head out, his eyes on the both of you. One, not liking the fact that Two nearly crushed his foot with his platinum box, looked up at him with pure annoyance at the fact that he too would bet against Starlight. “Excuse me? But what makes you so sure about that?”
“Human element.” Two says simply and concisely.
“What babadaloo are ya talkin’ about, Two?” Three asked, confused by Two’s reasoning. “Anons a pony”
“Simple. What humans do, say, and think are always contradictory. A true chaos. Anon is willing to go further than the Commander should he so choose, and humans always go as far as necessary. I’ve seen it before out in the field, really dark stuff.” Two said with his monotone voice as he darted his head back into the treetops.
“What?!” One smacked his own face with his paw at Two’s logic. “How does that even make sense?! We ALL have only existed for a day! Since when did you see it ‘out in the field’ ?!”
“You doubtin’ him, Number One? Like the guy said, out in the field. Oh ho ho, they’s gonnas be callin’ me Number Best by the end of the night!” Three said with a light and almost dumb sounding chuckle.
“That’s not even a number! Ugh, I’m calling Number Four, surely he can explain why such nonsense reasoning is flawed.” One put his talon to his ear and called for Number Four “Number Four, Number Four. Come in, Number Four. Yes, this is Number One, and I have a question for you. We’re all in a bet to see who is going to win this fight, Obviously the Commander is going to win, But Number Three and Two are say- Hmm? What do you mean such matters are beneath you?! What do you mean both Anon and the Commander are being stupid?! Don’t insult the commander you… YOU! YO- Hmnnnn.” One looked back to Three with a gruff grunt
“So, what did the know-it-all gotta says about all this?” Three asked.
“He said that everypony involved were being unintelligent. Then proceeded to tell me that his focus on teaching Scootaloo proper wing exercises is more important than this. Then he told me that Number Five thinks we’re all being children! Can you believe the nerve of them?! Us, children?! For a simple wager?! Preposterous!” One said with a stomp, rageful over Four’s words.
“So, whatcha sayin’ is… That Anon gots a chance afterall?” Three said with a smirk “Because it didn’t sounds like Four gots nothin’ to say about it.”
Number One just crossed his arms, gave Three a nasty look, and then looked upon you and Starlight “We’ll see who’s right. It’s obvious everypony here didn’t get the brains like I did…”
As the clones argued on, you just looked straight into Starlight’s determined eyes with a sense of domination of your own. You weren’t going to lose to her, and you were going to show her that not only have you improved, but improved enough to beat her ‘superior’ magic. You had on your wings, which you gave a few flaps in a slow and threatening manner. You had on a holster, for your taser. Your grappling hook was attached to your right leg, and your bravado you wore on your face. “You ready yet? Starlight?” You looked to her with your dark green eyes that bellowed with false dark magic. Yes, you even had your horn on, for the sake of telekinesis and barrier magic.
Starlight had just been standing there staring, but in truth, she was already having some regret over this. She didn’t want to hurt you, she didn’t want to humiliate a good friend in such a fight. But your cocky attitude and boorish behaviour had brought her to just wanting to prove to you that there is more to fighting than just passing some training test. She had you fully equipped to give you some sort of chance, but she felt that your arrogance would cause you to lose. And through that, she’d hope you’d learn your lesson. “I’m ready. I was just thinking of something to say first. Anon, I want you to think about what you’re doing. This is a REAL fight we’re going to have, there is no room for error. Sure, it won’t go too far, but you could still get hurt. If you really want to prove how great you are, you’ll need to find a way to get past my magic. It won’t be easy, but I’ll be interested to see what you can do.”
You just roll your eyes at her. Goddammit, she was patronizing you and making it sound like a fucking tutorial boss fight. She really thinks you’re gonna be stupid and lose, didn’t she? She may be good at magic, but ponies are pretty trash in a fight, Starlight included. She didn’t need to treat you like a child! Or maybe she knew you’d win, and she was stalling. “Same to you, Starlight. Just to let you know, I’m gonna win this fight. This isn’t going to be like that training session. I’m totally in the zone, and super psyched. So, all in all, YOU’RE the one going down! I’ve dodged your magic before, and I’ll do it again! I’m fucking Anon! And you’re gonna be kissing the ground in a second. That, or you’re gonna be kissing my ass!” You flip around, and pat at your ass as you look back and stick your tongue out at her.
Starlight’s eye twitched when she heard that last part. She immediately threw out any idea of mercy. You were one of her best friends, but the way you were acting, she felt you needed to be brought down a peg. It was almost like it was back when she helped train you. But before, she realized she lost her head over a small amount of your arrogance. Now, you were going full throttle with it and it was really driving her to crush you. Unlike that training session, she wasn’t going to hold back the tiniest bit this time… Well, maybe a little. “O-ok then… Same as before. On the count of three… One… Two…”
You leaned down, and wiggled your butt as you prepared to strike. You remembered she held back for a huge majority of the reflex training, so this time you would put all your effort to bringing her down within seconds before she casts some big spell. You would prove you didn’t need your chaos magic to win. You WILL prove that not only are your reflexes top notch, but so is your fighting skill. And you WILL show that you can topple her best magic.
“Three! GO!” Calls out Starlight.
You prepare to make a side hop and rush right towards her. But within a split second, you find yourself completely encased in the same crystal like concealment spell she used last time. Somehow, she had casted it faster than before, and you didn’t even get a chance to react once she fired it off. Did she have it prepped the whole time?! Goddammit! How did you not see it coming? You were stuck with a stupid shocked expression on your face as you stood frozen in the crystal prison.
Starlight just approaches you slowly, laughing at you. “Hahaha! Anon, you didn’t even last a second! I TOLD you, and I WARNED you. My magic isn’t some basic spells foals would use, they are the result of YEARS of training that somepony like you would have no idea where to even begin to understand it all. And seriously? You did a better job dodging this the first time I used it on you, guess your reflexes really didn’t get better, eh?”
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! How could you let yourself instantly lose like that?! All you had to do was dodge to the right or left and move in! That was the same fucking move she opened up with last time and you somehow didn’t even guess she’d use it again like this! DAMMIT! You were full of rage and frustration, enough to shake your prison slightly, but not nearly enough to break it.
“Yeah, you’re not breaking out of that.” She smirks as she leans against your prison, and chuckles at your predicament “Yeeep, looks like being cocky really doesn’t do well for your skill, now does it? I tried to be nice, I tried to tell you what you were in for, but you just wouldn’t listen. And now, I beat you in less than a second. I’m sure Number One has the time of defeat by the exact nanosecond. I tried, Anon, I really did try. But for some reason, you just had to act like a jerk. Serves you right.”
You just shook, and shook, and shook… But you just… GODDAMMIT! You can’t break out of this damn thing! And what’s worse, Starlight was acting as if she won the fight! Well she hasn’t! SHE HASN’T! You could shake this damn thing, but you couldn’t fucking break it! How cou- Wait… You could shake it, did that mean…?
“Anyway, I’m calm now, and I think you’ve learned your lesson. So let me j-ahh-AHHHH-GYAAAAAAAAHHH!” Starlight had no time to finish her sentence as you, still within your prison, started to slide forward at a rocket’s pace, with her caught at the front of it all. In your rage, you had managed to think of, and then figure out, that you could still use your own basic magic. With the prison not actually being part of you, and being light enough to move, you used your telekinesis magic to thrust it forward into Starlight. Not only did it move at a blistering pace, it also caught her off guard enough to take her along for the ride. While still frozen in place, you were internally smiling as you came right upon a tree, smashing Starlight into it as you span backwards in a slide. The impact itself caused the tree to tilt quite a bit.
“O-ogh, ngh…” Starlight smashed belly first into the tree, and slowly began to slide down it in a daze. She could barely get up as her vision span in a daze. But she managed to slowly stand up as she shook her head, and looked back at you, astonished at how quickly you overtook the situation. “N-ngh, he got me good. I-I didn’t think his telekinesis was that s-strong. D-darnit, Starlight, how could you let yourself get so cocky? Was I really that mad over just words? Ugh..huh?! No, not this time!” Starlight sees you rocketing towards her once again, and jumps to the side while zapping you with a bolt of magic. Instantly, your prison vanishes as you suddenly flip in the air and crash into the tree itself. It seems the tree was not rooted to the ground at all as it finally falls over, with you laying on top of it in a daze of your own. Starlight steps back, and just looks at you with a cringe. And yet, she actually had SOME admiration for your surprise move. “Oh, that had to hurt. Still… Didn’t expect that. Looks like he might actually have a few tricks. I’ll have to stay on my hooves, just in case.”
You were free, but god did your belly hurt. You slowly stood up and looked back at Starlight, who seemed to be primed to act defensively this time. Still, you had in your mind that you slammed her pretty badly back there. Hell, even you were surprised you were actually able to do that. Considering how hard she got hit, it almost made you want to ask if she was ok. But this was still a full on fight, and you couldn’t let yourself falter. No, this time, you’d play it smart, and you had just the ploy to get another free hit in. With the tree down, you rushed towards the bush of leaves and dove into it. Your plan was simple, you’d grab as many leaves as you could and toss it as a ball towards Starlight to distract her. And then…
“What’s he doing…? Ok, what does he have? The taser, the grappling hook, wings, the horn… And he just hides? It’s not like I didn’t see him… Does he just expect me to wander over there for a sneak attack?” Starlight just eyes the leaves closely, preparing herself for… Something. But then, she starts to look around. “Can he teleport too? I don’t remember if that’s something he’s able to do…”
Oh Starlight, prepare yourself for a classic. You ready the ball of leaves with your magic, and hop out of the bush as you make a straight throw at her. Starlight, however, was really ready for this as she fires a bolt of magic to deflect the ball of leaves. But of course, it being a ball of leaves, it explodes at her the moment she hits it. “What the?! What’s going on? It’s just… leaves?” She said in surprise as the leaf confetti obscured her view.
“COME OVER HERE!” You yell out as you shoot your grapple hook forward through the cloud of green. You managed to successfully wrap your line around Starlight’s legs. And with a quick flick of the switch, you start retracting your line with her caught by it like some sort of fish. Once she was close, you’d thrust your taser into her. Haha! Looks like a little ingenuity has paid off. “Gotcha Starlight! It’s time to finish this!”
Starlight let out a gasp when she felt her legs tighten up within the grip of your grappling hook. She did not expect that at all, and she certainly didn’t expect to be slammed to the ground as she started to get dragged towards you. But she also wasn’t some two bit Unicorn either. Not only could she teleport, but she has done enough escape tricks with Trixie to be able to react to such a situation with great haste. She immediately disappears in an instant and appears at the base of the fallen tree, her horn glowing as if she was ready to strike.
“Ah shit! She can teleport?! How the fuck did I forget that?!” You were bewildered by such a move. How could you forget that?! YOU ALMOST FUCKING HAD IT!
“Ok, I’m totally done underestimating you, Anon. I’m gonna give you a chance and say we should end this in a draw, things are getting out of control already and one of us can get seriously hurt.” Starlight, again, had calmed herself enough to assess the situation. She had to admit to herself that being smashed into the tree still hurt, and no doubt her body was bruised in some places. As for you, she couldn’t imagine your little body holding up too much as well after you flew into said tree.
Fuck that! Without a word, you use your telekinesis to grab your taser from your holster and thrusted it forward towards Starlight. But it stopped short as it started to spark, hitting an apparent barrier she was holding up, but doing no actual damage to it. Starlight’s eyes narrowed slightly as her look became more stoic “...Alright then, clearly this won’t be over until one of us is down. In that case…” . It was clear she was growing agitated at the whole situation, as she removed her barrier immediately, causing a burst that sent your taser spiraling a few feet backwards. She then sweeped a laser from her horn down the middle of the tree.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” You had dodged immediately to the right and off the tree to avoid her beam, but just like that, she had another one ready to sweep over you as she anticipated your movements. The only thing you could do about that was raise a barrier of your own, but the laser was just powerful enough to nearly shatter it. Starlight, seeing this, quickly fires a quick bolt to finish off your barrier, but you opt to dodge instead. Indeed, your reflexes were good enough to dodge her, but she had the advantage and you couldn’t do this forever as she continued to lob shots at you. “Fucking shit, ok… She’s pissed. C’mon, Anon… C’mon! Wait!” You see the taser on the ground, and quickly use your telekinesis to send it flying towards Starlight once again, hoping to hit her amongst her barrage.
“Hm…” Starlight’s reflexes were nothing to sniff at either, she ceases her attack for just a moment to raise her barrier and deflect the taser, sending it back to the ground. She then resumes her attack on you with a gatling of magic bursts that didn’t seem to slow in it’s intensity.
“CRAP!” You jump behind the tree, and duck your head, holding on to it as you hear the smashing of magic bolts from the other side. Starlight was proving to be a tougher opponent than you thought, and you were running out of options.
“It’s over, Anon, you’ve lost. You wanted me to actually fight? Well, that’s exactly what I’m doing. You gave it your best, but now it’s over. So give up already!” Starlight slowed her fire, and slowly began to approach the fallen tree. Both ready for your surrender, or your counter attack. Either way, she wanted it to end now.
Shit! You could hear her getting closer! What do you do?! WHAT DO YOU DO?! If only you had something powerful enough to break her… Wait. This tree fell pretty easily since it wasn’t rooted to the ground, so would it be a stretch if you…
“Anon, this isn’t a joke. I’m done playing games, you know that, right? What else can you do to try to defeat me? That’s right, you hav- WAIT ANON!” Starlight, in an instant, is caught off guard as you lift the tree with your telekinesis and send it flying towards her. She was surprised, even still, you had the power to move such a massive object, and opts to use her barrier instead of teleporting due to it being a panicked response. The tree however, easily shatters her barrier and sends her flying and then sliding backwards as the tree itself narrowly misses her.
You were astonished. All of that worked?! Starlight was defeated?! FUCK YES! “HAHAHA! WHAT NOW, STARLIGHT?! SEE?! I KNEW I COULD DO IT!” You hopped forward, and started to do a rather sloppy victory dance. “What now, Starlight?! What now!? That’s right! You ain’t got shit! Bow to your new fucking god!”
Starlight, in an almost scary fashion, just raises herself back up with near fire in her eyes. “YOU! YOU IDIOT! SHUT UP ALREADY!”
Your eyes go wide in fear as you freeze in your victory dance. She got up so suddenly, seemingly unphased, and started to float in the air. She could float in the air?! Right… she could do that, she can fly in all actuality. You were just surprised she was up at all, how the fuck is she not defeated yet? Even worse, she started to gather trees around her, just lifting them up easily until she had about ten spinning around her. “LET’S FINISH THIS, ANON! I’M TIRED OF IT! ALL OF IT! YOU JUST NEVER LEARN! SO LET ME SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF DANGEROUS I REALLY AM! HYYYYAAAHHH!” Starlight started to fling the trees at you, one by one.
“Fuck!” Ok, maybe you’ve been a bit of an asshole during this whole thing. But fucking christ, Starlight was sensitive as fuck. Why?! She used to be meeker before… Then again, she did seem to get more easily agitated once Trixie moved in with her. Was that it? Or was it just you? Both of you? No time to think, JUST DODGE! You quickly, but barely, dodge the first tree as you dive forward to dodge the second with a side roll. The third though? She had you right where she wanted you, you tried jumping up, and up, and you went up, and up? Oh right… You could fly! HAH! Starlight however, doesn’t slow her attack as she continues to fling trees towards you. With the way you can zip around you easily dodge her crazed and erratic throwing. However, on the last tree, she keeps it in her magical grasp as it spirals towards you, spinning due to the aid of her telekinetic magic. You weren’t able to properly predict it, and it smashes right into your head, splitting the tree in two as you spiral downward to the ground with a loud crash, enough to leave a small crater.
“HAHAHAHA!” Starlight laughed madly, raising her hooves in victory as she hovered in place “AND THAT’S THE GAME! YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT, ANON!... Anon?” Starlight looked down at you, and she noticed that you weren’t moving at all, not even making a sound. “A-Anon? Anon?” Starlight began to slowly hover downwards onto the ground, her insane look of victory slowly turning to that of horrified guilt. “Anon, c-c’mon… That didn’t hit you that hard, right?” But as she landed, she still could see you weren’t moving at all, and she was starting to feel an utter chill in her body. “No… nonononono, I didn’t…” She looked at her own hooves as the reality started to set in “I didn’t… I, Anon, I… How could I?”
You weren’t really knocked out though, you actually barely felt that tree hit you. Your plan was simple, lure her over with guilt and smash her head in with your own face mace. But as Starlight drew near, your ears started to perk up as you heard her guilt filled mumbling, soon followed by slow sobbing. She was… Crying? Why was she crying? Dead? She thinks you’re dead? She’s blaming herself? Oh no…
Anon, you fool. You did this, didn't you? You pushed her into fighting you at her hardest. For what? Because she was being arrogant herself? Was that really the truth? Or did you just want to prove to yourself that you could defeat a difficult opponent without chaos magic. Did you hate the fact that you couldn’t prove it with Garble? Did everyone really see you as weak? Or needing the horn? Or was that just you thinking that? And what about your sneak attack? You were about to do to Starlight what Garble did to you. Worse, you were going to do it to a good friend who now thought she ended your life. Anon, you fucking shmuck…
“Starlight… Hey! Hey…” You slowly got up, and began to approach her. “It’s ok! I’m alright! I’m fine! See?” You wiggled your hoof at her, but she just didn’t see you. You tried approaching the now sobbing mare, but the moment you did, she grabbed onto you, and she just screamed out how apologetic she was.
“Anon! Ngh! Scootaloo... ! Scootaloo…! I’m sorry! I ended him, I ended Anon! I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to get so angry. I just… I just lost it and…” Starlight just cried into you, mistaking you for Scootaloo. She was so hysterical that she somehow just didn’t realize you weren’t her. She was also crushing you with her grip, you could barely breathe.
“S-Starlight…” You let out in a strained voice “You’re killing me”
“You too?! N-No! I didn’t...w-wait.” Starlight looked at you for a moment within her grip. She could see you breathing hard, catching yourr breath. She looked over to where she knocked you out, and then back at you. “A-Anon? Y-you’re ok?”
“Y-yeah, I jSAFSDASF” And with that, Starlight went back to hugging you tightly.
“ANON! I’M SO SORRY! I LOST MY HEAD! I DIDN’T ME- erm.” Starlight stopped when she looked at you again, seeing you were now blue in the face. She stopped her hugging and let you go, chuckling nervously as she sniffed and cleared her tears “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I just… I just lost it.”
To you, she had nothing really to apologize for. You goaded her into fighting, you got her riled up, you got her to nearly kill you. All for a selfish whim. “I’m sorry too, Starlight…” You started to tear up yourself, as guilt welled up inside you. Hell, you knew she was easily flustered, and you just pushed it. “I just wanted to fight you, I got annoyed with what you were saying and I just wanted to prove I could fight without the full power of the horn, I wanted to prove how capable I was. I was even... “ You look down in shame “I was even waiting for you to get close so I could beat you down. I was willing to play dirty to win. It’s not right, especially to you. You always treat me with respect, and always try to help when I need it. I shouldn’t have gotten you riled up like that.”
“Anon…” Starlight sighs as she starts to tear up again, taking a deep breath as she holds you close for a gentle hug. “I shouldn’t have gotten so cocky to begin with. I kind of was riding an old sense of power with having Number One around, catering to every want and need I had. You’re my friend too, and I said I’d treat you as my equal… And I didn’t see you as one right there and then… I guess we both messed up, huh?”
You let out a weak and cheerful chuckle “Y-yeah. Heh, S-Starlight, you really are the greatest unicorn ever,”
“I know” Starlight said with a sad but quirky chuckle of her own “And I’m proud to say that you earned the title of Hero Colt. Tell you the truth, you were really using your brain there. I mean, I should have realized it was strange you’d let yourself get hit by my crystal concealment spell. If you weren’t so small, the sheer force of that hit could have probably finished me right then and there. So yeah, good job on that one.”
“Yeah, that was…” Wait a second, you didn’t let yourself get hit by it. You legit couldn’t dodge it and only came to the realization you could move it just by the fact you could get it to shake with the force of your body. M-maybe you shouldn’t let her know that though. “A yeah, yeeeah, a really good plan if I say so myself. But sheesh, your raw magical power is amazing, you just never seemed to run out. You can teleport, fly, shoot beams, and throw trees. Makes me wonder what you were going to try if the fight continued.”
Starlight went wide eyed there for a moment, and gulped. “Oh… Erm, I was. Well, I had a few extra ideas.”
Now that got your curious “Like what?”
“Oh, nothing much…” Starlight started to dart her eyes around, and said in a low voice “Just ripping out your cutie mark…”
You felt like you should have a big reaction over that. But really, considering that you were overwhelmed with guilt and hurt, it seemed fine to you she’d resort to such an act. “Oh, well, I guess that isn’t much better than my whole head bash thing. Looks like we’d both go pretty far to win…”
“Well… There’s nothing wrong with that, I think.” Starlight said, as she took a moment to wipe her eyes.
“Huh? What do you mean?” Again, you were curious.
“It’s simple. While I’d say using underhoofed tactics on friends isn’t right, using it against an enemy isn’t exactly a bad thing. Sometimes you need to cheat, or play dirty, to win the day. If the bad guys aren’t going to play fair, then why should you? When it comes to monsters who would eat ponies like us, or hurt us for fun, cheating to win is a perfectly viable option. Nopony is going to criticize you for it, y’know? You have that horn for a reason, so you might as well use it for its intended purpose. And when you don’t have the charges to win a fight, you use your other gear to help you either win or escape. You need to master your entire skillset, Anon, if you really want to really take on the title of Hero Colt. Heh…” Starlight chuckled, and looked to you with a calmed smile “Look at me, sounding like some old wise mare. But seriously, you have potential, you just can’t go limiting yourself when it comes to an important fight. Nopony else is going to.”
You nod to her, as you start to fill up with determination and understanding. “You’re right, Starlight. I’m glad I was able to keep up with you, I guess I really have to be more mindful of my tools. I would have never gotten that far without them. Heck, if I utilized them a little better, I may have put up more of a fight.”
“I agree, I’m just glad I didn’t end up using any of my deadliest spells.” Starlight said as she wiped her brow, glad she didn’t reach that point of anger.
“Yeah… Wait.” Did she say she had more powerful spells? “You weren’t using your best against me? I mean, aside from the cutie mark thing, what else did you have?”
“Well… Anon… Look, the fight is over, right? It doesn’t matter now, does it?” This time, Starlight was sure she didn’t say anything in arrogance. She was just relieved with herself. But now she was nervous that she may have incited yet another fight.
“I mean… Sure, I’m willing to call it a draw. But you can’t just say that and not give me an example, what other spells did you have? I promise, I’m not gonna get upset. Like you said, I just gotta fight at my full potential in a real fight, and I already know my chaos magic is pretty great. So don’t be nervous, just tell me. I wanna know what your true potential would have been” You try to reassure her that you had no ill will towards her, you were just curious as to what she had up her sleeves. Ok, that was kind of untrue. You were kind of annoyed you didn’t get to go against her top tier spells.
“Well, if you insist. Some of the spells I didn’t use, aside from taking your cutie mark, were things like mind manipulation, size manipulation, teleporting you rather than myself, or even enchanting the trees to say… Attack you for me. That’s just a few I could have used.” She said, hoping you were true to your word in not getting upset with her.
Goddammit, mind manipulation? She can do that? You shudder to think what she would have made you do while she was angry like that. What if she… Made you suck your own cock? Christ… Nope, fuck it, you were glad she didn’t go that far. “N-nope, not the least bit upset. Just really neat to know, ehehe.”
“Yep… Kinda neat… Erm.” Starlight began to feel nervous as she rubbed the side of her leg. “Look, it’s getting really late… And I bet you Scootaloo probably heard all that commotion, so she’s going to want to know what happened. Let’s just call it a night, ok? You got a fake wedding to go to tomorrow.”
“Yeah, l-let’s do that.” Christ… she could have made you her damn sex slave.
In the distance, the three clones began to talk to one another once more.
“Wows… So er, what happens when they all tied like that?” Number Three asked, bewildered at the results of the fight.
“Hmph, I suppose we take back our own bets.” Number One groaned “The commander was too merciful, she could have crushed him if she so wanted to. By that merit alone, I can at least live on knowing I’d have won in the end. Well, at least I technically didn’t lose to you two.”
“Ehhh, if Anons had his chaos magic, it’d have been in the bag. Badda Bing Badda Boom, just like dat. Ain’t that right, Numbahr Two?” Three said with certainty as he looked up at the leaves of the tree, but there was no answer. “Hey, Two, you in there? Where are you at? WAIt! WHERE’S THE MOOLAH?!”
“That cur! GRRR, WAIT TIL I TELL THE COMMANDER!” Number One said, in such a furious state that he burst into flame. It seemed the entire pot was stolen.
Unbeknownst to the duo however, Two was busy hiding up in a tree at the far end of the false forest, eating the ‘moolah’ like it was some sort of snack. “Too easy”
What proceeded after the fight wasn’t much. You and Starlight were both pretty much beat, and ready for bed. But given the high tension caused by the fight, you both had decided to just have a small conversation before hitting the hay. Starlight, of course, was still rather hyped about the plans you had sent her regarding planes and jets, and wanted to ask you how they were like, what was it like to fly in them, and how did it feel to move at such intense speeds. You were able to give her a basic answer for the first, a detailed answer for the second, and a less than informational answer to the third. Still, it gauged her interest enough to really want to give it all a go. Aside from that conversation, you both also talked about your friendship, or really, just trying not to ruin said friendship with such frivolous bullshit. Finally, you spoke to her about her and Trixie moving to Ponyville, you really wanted to know why that was.
Starlight’s explanation, however, was much more simple than you thought it’d be. She said that it was time for her to move on from the town. She felt she did enough to redeem herself, and help the town grow into an actual functioning place, that and the whole election thing was getting tiresome. She wanted to further her studies in magic, friendship, and now thanks to you, gadgetry of the human variety. To do that, she not only felt Ponyville would be the best place to move to achieve her goals, but the fact that Twilight had actually offered her to stay at the castle was a plus when it came to having a place to work and have access to resources, including having the help of someone who was also very magically inclined. However, when it came to the friendship part, Starlight had in fact been interested in Twilight’s school, though not in a student sense. She wanted to see if she could teach at her school, the only thing was that she herself didn’t have any idea on what to teach. It seemed, however, that Twilight not only was more than willing to employ her, but also felt she had the perfect place for her. Starlight mentioned that her work with the town, her own self improvement, and somehow even befriending Trixie and keeping you as a good and mutual friend made her perfect as a guidance counselor, even mentioning that it was almost as if it was fated to be.
However, to you, that was just kind of dumb. Mostly on the ‘you’ part. You were easy to get along with and super lovable! How could Twilight compare you to Trixie when it came to maintaining a friendship? God, she can be so damned stupid at times. However, despite your internal conflict with Twilight’s thoughts, you congratulated Starlight, and even mentioned you were happy to have her living so close, as it’d make it easier to visit since you go to Ponyville much more often than you do her town. Sure, you had a portal, but most of your dealings were in Ponyville...so, y’know.
After the ridiculous, almost expository conversation, you felt tired and wished Starlight a goodnight. Though she herself said she actually wasn’t planning to go to bed. She still had to explain things to Scootaloo when she showed up, and had some other business to attend to. She mentioned that a good sleep was most important for you, since it was your moment. Yeah, it was your moment, wasn’t it? In that case, you bid her goodnight once again, and headed into the tent. It was surprisingly simple inside, with only two foal sized bedrolls. It must have meant that Starlight slept in the other tent... Wait, did she have to sleep with the clones? Oy, now that just sounded like a rape doujin waiting to happen.
And so the night passed…
“Anon! Anon! Wake up!” Yelled the familiar voice of a young filly
You merely batted your leg forward and turned, shifting your body on the... Bed? It did feel like you were suddenly on your bed now. “Mnngh, go away, I’m beat” You really did feel like you were thrown around in a fight, considering you were.
“Ugh! Of course. Alright Number Five, it looks like it’s up to us. Ready? Let’s do this. Gong!” Yelled the voice
Suddenly, the heavy low tone ringing of a gong rings in your ears, causing you to jump up in fright. “WAAAGGH!”
“Number Five, quick, the suit!” It was Scootaloo who was making the commands, and she seemed determined and ready to get you at that wedding in time. You also found yourself back in your room, not that it mattered at the moment. Scootaloo was standing on your bed as Number Five, who was on the side of it, materialized your wedding tux and tossed it above you. “Here I go!” Scootaloo jumps up, using the bed as a spring while she uses her wings to gain some lift to hop over you and pull down the tux upon you before you land.
“What’s going on?! Wha! What?!” You still didn’t realize what was happening due to the quick pace of it all. Were you missing something?!
“Number Five, brush!” As Scootaloo lands behind you, she catches a brush thrown by Five in her mouth, and begins to hold you down as she brushes at your mane.
“What the?! Hey! Hey! What’s going! OW! That hur-OOF! That’s my hair!” You whimpered and whined as Scootaloo did her work.
“Number Five! Locket and Sunglasses!” Scootaloo barked. Five then tosses her a pair of sunglasses and a small jewelry box. Scootaloo catches the box and quickly slips it into her pocket, as she herself was in a tux. She then catches the sunglasses, puts it on, and nods with a stoic expression. “He’s ready...”. After a moment though, she couldn’t contain herself as she smiled and hopped about “That was so cool! I can’t believe we actually managed that!”. Number Five simply put his thumb up, to signify approval.
“Ogh… What happened?” You finally had time to look around. Yep, you were back in your room, on your bed, with a clone of Discord and Scootaloo looking at you as if… Right, the wedding. You look down at yourself and notice the rather spritzy looking tux with the nice little white rose on the lapel. “Oh, geez! Am I late for the wedding?!”
“Oh, no, you’re not. We just wanted to make sure you’d wake up on time, so we woke you up just early enough.” Scootaloo said with a grin on her face. She didn’t mean any harm, but goddammit.
You groan as you slowly lift yourself out of bed and hop off “Gee, thanks” You say sarcastically. Sure, you’ve been better about waking up at a reasonable time, but if you could have gotten more sleep, then dammit, they should have let you sleep! Although, looking in the mirror on your dresser, you did look pretty snappy with your mane brushed so well and the tux looking so suave, Scootaloo did a pretty nice job. But then you notice something else. Beside your portal door laid a giant wooden chest with a golden trim. “What’s that?”
“Oh, the chest? That was Number Four’s idea, he said you’d get a kick out of it. I don’t know why, just looks like an ordinary treasure chest to me.” Scootaloo said with a shrug.
“Ok, but what’s inside it?” You’d get a kick out of it? Why? Was it a trap? Was Number Four not as smart and caring as he appeared? Or maybe this was supposed to represent something. Maybe something really cool was inside.
“Oh, I guess it’s whatever Starlight was working on with him all night. She mentioned it had something to do with the fight you both had. Sheesh, Anon, you two really got into it, huh? There were so many fallen trees and blast marks everywhere, it must have been some fight.” Scootaloo commented
“Yeah, it was. It wasn’t anything too big though, just testing my training out, that’s all.” You say near sheepishly. You didn’t know what Starlight told her, but goddamn did you hope she didn’t make you sound like an asshole.
“That’s pretty much what she said. I’m gonna have to ask Rainbow Dash if she’d fight me like that. Erm, you know, nothing too major, I just want to see how far I’ve come too, y’know?” It seemed Scootaloo wasn’t given the full details after all, and thought of your fight as just another form of training without the hostility. Seems she wanted to fight Rainbow Dash in the same way, but was scared of it being as intense as your fight was with Starlight.
“Y-yeah well, ahrm…” You cleared your throat, calming down after knowing you were now in the clear. “Anyyyyways, erm. So Starlight didn’t really go to bed last night? Did you know what she wanted to work on? Also, why Number Four? Isn’t Number One her assistant?” You said as you tapped at the chest.
“He is, but he actually isn’t too smart, especially compared to Number Four. She needed his help for some secret project thingy she wanted to get done before she went to bed. I guess it wasn’t anything too big since she got it done in a night, but apparently it was just big enough for her not to tell me what it was going to be. Honestly, whatever is in there, it has to be wicked cool! So c’mon already! Open it!”
Alright then, here you go. Time to see what she made you. Why would she make you something anyway? Yes, you were friends, but she still had to be somewhat salty about last night. You kind of were, if only because, in the end, there were no clear winners in that fight. So for her to make you anything, it made you feel rather humble. Starlight truly was a good friend, one you had to do better by.
You reach for the top of the chest and pop it back to see what was inside. But before you could react, a golden light began to spill from the chest as the Zelda chest opening theme began to play. Your eyes went wide, what was this? Starlight didn’t know what Zelda was, so this had to be the work of Number Four. But why? What was…
“Gyah! What’s going on?!” Scootaloo jumped back and hid under your bed, poking her head out as she shivered in fright “Anon, is it going to explode?!”
You said nothing as you reached inside with no fear, as if you were in a trance. When you bring yourself back up, you stand on your hind legs and hold your forelegs up high to reveal…
DA NA NA NA! It’s the Starlight Hook! A modification of your Grapple Hook created by Starlight and Number Four. With this, you’ll not only be able to use it to scale and swing across great distances, but it can be used in combat to grapple and then shock opponents with greater force than the taser. Powered by Starlight’s magic, as long as you don’t drain the battery, it will always naturally recharge, albeit slowly.
Scootaloo read all that from a small text box that appeared in back of you, and it was confusing to her. Why a text box, what even kind of thing was it? Why were you just standing there while the hook hovered over your hooves? Scootaloo slowly came out from under your bed, and just walked over to the text box, giving it a tap. “What the hay is all this? Anon, do you kno- What the, are you crying?”
You were, you were so damn happy to get to experience something like this without it being a trap or blowing up in your face. “Scoots… I just, I… Do you know that feeling you get when you make Rainbow Dash super proud of you?”
“Yeah, it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world! Why?” Scootaloo asked, still confused.
“This is like that, but like a million times more.” You say with a sniffle, this was so goddamn golden.
“What? That’s just sounds dumb, it’s just you holding up your new grapple hook thing. It’s cool that you got one, but there’s no-” But you stop her with sudden angry barking.
“DON’T SPOIL THIS FOR ME, SCOOTS!” You growl.
Scootaloo hops back, startled “Yikes! Alright, alright, whatever you say. Geez, sometimes I just don’t understand you sometimes and-” Scootaloo hears a tapping, it was Number Five tapping at a watch on his arm. “Oh, oh right! Anon, we gotta go, we gotta get you to that wedding!”
“I can’t, Scootaloo” You say, still sobbing.
Scootaloo rolls her eyes, now annoyed by whatever it was that fascinated you “Ok, I get it, this is super cool for you. But Anon, we really gotta go! So cut it out already.”
“I can’t…” You say again
“Why can’t you?” Scootaloo asked, now really annoyed.
“I’m stuck.” You really were, you couldn’t move from your position. It was like someone had to advance the… OH GODDAMMIT!
“What do you mean you’re stuck?” Scootaloo asked as she walked over to you. She gave you a gentle shove, but you wouldn’t budge an inch. “Oh, you’re stuck stuck.”
“Yes… I’m stuck stuck” You said, feeling annoyed. Dammit Four, either this was intentional or he somehow forgot that chaos magic can go too far. “You gotta find a way to remove that text box thing. That’s what’s keeping me stuck.”
“This? Huh…” Scootaloo brought her hoof to it, but nothing happened, her hoof went right through “Come on! Stupid thing!” She swung her hoof at it, but still, nothing happened. “Did Number Four really do this? This seems kind of… Oh wait!” Scootaloo looked to Number Five “I bet this is why you stuck around, right, Five? Could you do something about this?”
Five nods, and produces an Nintendo 64 Controller from thin air and presses the ‘A’ button, making the text completely disappear. You also weren’t ready for it as the grappling hook falls on your face, causing you to fall forward onto the ground, right onto your face. “Oof! N-ngh…”. How humiliating, all you had to do was just catch it and slip it on, and instead you just let it fall on your face.
“Come on, Anon. Stop fooling around!” Scootaloo helps you up and brushes off your tux “You’re getting your suit dirty! Wow, no wonder you’re never ready for anything, you’re always goofing around.”
You just grumble to yourself, picking up the grapple hook as you lament on your humiliation. You take a look to see the changes, and indeed, Starlight made some major modifications. One, the thing was a little heavier to hold, secondly, the entire harness was recolored to Starlight’s coat and mane colors, thirdly, there was a blue glowing tube lining the top of the apparatus, shining with blue electricity from within, and finally, there was an extra switch that looked like your Taser’s trigger. Heh, so that’s it, her and Four fused your taser and your grappling hook together. Interesting, this could be useful. But goddamn, the Starlight Hook? Could she be any more narcissistic? Whatever, it'll be fine, it's not that bad a name. You decide to leave it on your dresser for now, you had a wedding to go to. “Come on, Scoots, relax. You said we were early, right?”
“Early enough, but we still need to get you all set for the wedding. You know, instructions and stuff. Mrs.Rich is scary enough as it is, I don’t wanna see her start ripping heads off because something went wrong. I don’t even really see the point in all this, weddings are neat and all, Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor’s was rad… Y’know, after… Never mind. I’m just saying, a fake wedding seems dumb.” Scootaloo said as she walked over to your portal door, set the dial to Ponyville, and opened the door. Peering through, she could see the ponies outside town hall were all a bustle. “Never mind, I can already see Mrs. Rich being upset. Everypony wants in on this thing. See? This is what I mean. If this was a normal wedding, everypony would be allowed in. but for some reason, it has to be all ‘imperfect’ and everything. And that’s just, like, mega dumb. I don't see what's so 'imperfect' about not letting more ponies in”
"It's just how she wants it, that's all. She wants it to be nothing to write home about. Weird, but I can understand why." You walk over next to Scootaloo, and peer through the door. Oh geez, she wasn't kidding, there were ponies everywhere. “Yeah, yikes, it’s just like at the coliseum, have I really become that big?”
“Yeah, you kind of have. You did just beat a dragon without even trying, and even though everypony thought the end of the test was just part of the show, it was still really spectacular. And do I even need to mention the whole Storm King thing? Of course everypony is gonna wanna see this, especially since the Riches are also really popular. I guess that’s why Starlight is head of security, she and the Discord clones have to handle this big mess. Speaking of, hey Number Five, I don’t wanna keep you any more than I have to, you can go now. And thanks!” Scootaloo smiles at him, and gives him a wave.
Number Five points at her with his talon and paw, smirks, and does a clicking noise with his mouth before disappearing in a flash of light.
“There he goes, so what do I have to do exactly, Scoots?” You ask, feeling a tad nervous of having to go through a crowd.
“Right now? We gotta get you to Town Hall so you can be told what you gotta do. Y’know, how to walk the aisle, help you with your vows, your cues, and all kinds of stuff. I already know what to do, I just gotta be ready to give you the locket. It’s no problem, Anon, you’re gonna do fine.” Scootaloo said in a way to reassure you as she gives you a pat on the back.
You had to admit to yourself, you were a little nervous. It was a fake wedding, but all eyes would still be on you. You felt like just staying in bed. But if you did, Mrs.Rich would never let you live it down. Hell, none of the Riches might. “Well, alright then, let’s get going.”
Welp, there wasn’t a moment to lose. You pack up your things in your saddlebag and head through the portal with Scootaloo. God, what a mess, there were so many ponies crowding up in front of city hall. Forget getting ready for the wedding, how the fuck were you supposed to get through all this? Hell, you don’t even remember this many ponies being in Ponyville. Though, they were more focused on getting inside to notice you were among them. “Sheesh, I get it, I’m popular, but why is it right now that they choose to be a giant clog in my butt?”
Scootaloo cringed a little from your turn of phrase. “Ok, one; That sounds totally gross. Two; Well, it’s kind of like how it works for Twilight.”
“How do you figure?” You turn to Scootaloo, confused.
“Well, Twilight is a princess and all that, but everypony usually leaves her alone or treats her like they always have. Then sometimes, BAM! Suddenly she’s the biggest thing ever! And then after? She’s not a celebrity anymore until, like, the next weird moment. I dunno, it’s just how it’s always been, I guess.” Scootaloo said with a shrug.
“Well, if that’s the case, this is a bad time to be that big a celebrity. C’mon, let’s just find another way in bef-CRIPES!” Suddenly, you found yourself surrounded. Of course standing around behind the crowd would eventually get you noticed. Even worse, the ponies closest to you were a gang of paparazzi, already rushing towards you and snapping their photos, their flashes blinding you “GYAH! Geez! Stop!”
“It’s the Hero Colt himself! Hey can you smile at the camera for me?!” Said one of the news mares
“A fake wedding with limited attendance? Do you know what the Riches might be hiding?!” Said another
“The Hero Colt in this deep with such a financial empire? Is it love, or something more?” Said a tall stallion unicorn quickly writing in a journal.
“Quick! Tell me what you think about Diamond Tiara, I mean really what you think! Surely a colt like you must still have many a filly on his tail, eh?” a rather debonair looking stallion said
“So, do you plan to become the next head of the Rich Estate? Do you know anything about business? What are your thoughts?” Said a rather old looking mare
Holy christ! The picture taking and barrage of questions was already starting to aggravate you. You could barely see and all of them were asking so many questions at once! How the fuck were you going to get past them?
“Hey! Leave Anon alone! He’s got a wedding to get to, y’know? So get out of the way!” Scootaloo barked, trying to clear the way for you.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever kid. Hey, Hero Colt, Crystal Clear of the Gemstone Gazette, ready to get the real news over here. So, about that dragon that attacked Ponyville. Heard some sources say that you were in cahoots with it. Care to make a statement?” Said an awfully familiar sounding mare who just ignored Scootaloo and brushed her away.
In fact, looking at her, she wasn’t recognizable at all. A ruby red coat, a crystal cutie mark, a dark red mane shaped like a gemstone with a pencil holding it all toget- OH GODDAMMIT! YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS! WHO THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS FOOLING WITH THAT PAINT JOB! “Isn’t your name Good News?”
“Wha? What are ya talkin about, kid?” The mare managed to keep a straight face, but that brooklyn accent and pencil keeping her mane together was unmistakable. Gemstone Gazette? Bitch must have finally lost her job after that whole ninja thing. “S-said the name was Crystal Clear.”
You eye her closely. This bitch, did she really think you were going to let her get the drop on you this time? “Right, so where’s your partner then?”
“Couldn’t afford a ne- I mean, Crystal Clear works alone. Always have, always will. It’s how it is” She said, faltering a little in her speech, realizing she may have given something away. Suddenly though, she puts on a brave face and gives you a bit of a cocky smirk “Besides, what if I was? I wouldn’t be doin’ nothing underhoofed. Just asking questions, that’s all.”
You narrow your eyes at her, not trusting her for an instant. “Right…”. Oh Anon, here we go again. This bitch, bothering you once again despite what happened last time. What did she hope to accomplish? Did she really expect you to answer her question? Was this bitch fucking serious? Good News, her questioning and cheap methods could have you standing there forever as you match your wit with hers in the ultimate showdown of bullshittery. Yes, a challenge to see which one truly was the biggest shit eater…
But fuck that shit, you had a wedding to get to. Without a word, you slip on your horn and look to all the reporters with a cocky smirk. “Hey, you all want a real story?!” You yell out. You actually catch the positive attention of the surrounding reporters, all except for Good News.
“Ah nuts…” Was all she could say before her, and every reporter just disappeared when your horn released a giant flash of light.
“Woah, w-what just happened?” Scootaloo asked, blown away by the sudden disappearance of the pony paparazzi.
“Didn’t have time for a stupid subplot, now let’s just get inside bef-” Suddenly, you feel a tugging at your leg. You look to your left to see a golden coated colt with a shiny brown downward curved mane and an explosion of fireworks as a cutie mark. “Huh wha?”
“Hey! Hey! Are you really Anon, the Hero Colt?” The colt asked, jumping side to side in excitement.
“Uh, yeah...Um…” What did this kid want?
“I’m Roman Candle! But friends call me Sparky! Can I get an autograph? Or are you going to send me to the moon like you did those other guys?” Woah, despite that last part sounding grim, he still just hopped around in excitement as he busted out an autograph book. “I mean, those guys kind of deserved to go to the moon, they were being really annoying. My Dad says paparazzi are lower than sugar free candy.”
“The moon?! I didn’t send them to the moon, I just sent them back where they came from and…” You look back to see other ponies slowly pulling out autograph books around you. “What’s going on?”
“Erm, Mr.Anon, sir, we kind of all came from Fillydelphia to come to the wedding, but they won’t let us in. So we thought we’d just get an autograph… i-if you don’t mind. Y-you’re not gonna send us to the moon, right?” A stallion said as he meekly made his way towards you.
“And I came from Manehatten. This was supposed to be the event of the month and we’re not even allowed inside! Surely you can spare an autograph for my daughter, right?” Said a rather pushy mare
And indeed, some of the crowd began to gather, holding up their autograph books towards you to sign. This you could handle however, especially since it made you look good. “Sure kid, I can give you an autograph! In fact, Everypony gets an autogra- and oh sh-” Just as you said that, more of the crowd began to gather, mentioning to themselves that they held back out of fear, but now willing to approach as you seem so nice. The hell! Fuck you, Twilight! Get your royal ass over here and take some of this load! Why do you get to be not popular today and-.
“Anon, we don’t have time for this! It’ll be tomorrow by the time you sign all those books. What are you doing?!” Scootaloo whispered to you, surprised at your decision to sign autographs rather than just getting to town hall. “I thought you said you didn’t have time for sideplots, or whatever you meant.”
You took Roman’s autograph book and already began to sign it as you began to sweat, trying to think of a way out of this. Fuck! You just wanted to be nice for your fans, you didn’t expect them ALL to want an autograph. You looked to Roman’s excited eyes as you finish writing your name and hand him back the book. “T-there you are, Roman.”
“Wow! I got an autograph from the Hero Colt! Woohoo!” Roman said as he ran around, ecstatic about what you have done for him. “Now all I gotta do is get some bits for my train ride home!”
Wut? “...bits for a train ride home? Where are your parents?”
“At home, I kind of just got the idea to come here by myself! But now I need to make money so I can go home before they realize I'm gone! You wouldn’t have any extra bits, would you?” Again, he sounded rather peppy for being in a rather grim situation.
“Yeah, yeah sure…” You didn’t mind getting a few bits out of your saddlebag for him to use. But as you went for it, you realized you didn’t really need to. As in, you not only had to not give him bits, but you also didn’t need to spend so much time signing autographs either. You had two charges on your horn, and you already used one, so why not just use the other to help you out a little more? “Actually, how about I send you home instantly with my magic?”
“Golly, Anon, you can do that? That’d help me lots!” He said, still hopping about like the firecracker he was.
“Figured, heh” You look over to the rest of the crowd and give them a strong and brave expression. Yeah, this was probably maybe what being a hero colt was all about too, solving a problem and helping everyone out while not ruining a day as important as this. Surely they’d all appreciate a teleport home to go with an autograph. “Alright, Everypony, you all want an autograph, right?” You call out. They all nod, of course they did. “And how about a free ride home too?”. And with those words, they all lit up and murmured to themselves before letting out ‘yes’ and ‘and that would be swell’ and other similar agreements. You simply asked them to hold up their autograph books, and with a cast of magic, you instantly teleported them back home with a signed book. No fuss, no need for goodbyes, and no useless dialogue. Anon, you truly are a genius! You just chuckle to yourself “If this was some long winded story, that’d have been like….five chapters.”
“Anon?! Are you nuts?!” Scootaloo let out in surprise. The hell was her problem?
You just roll your eyes at her “Scoots, relax. I just sent them back home. We don’t have time to sign autographs and do interviews and stuff, remember?”
Scootaloo just brings a hoof to her face, letting out a small “ow” when she smacks her sunglasses into herself. She then shakes her head, and whaps you as well “Anon! You just used both your charges! BOTH OF THEM! What are you supposed to do now?!”
“Uhh… Walk over to town hall and get ready?” Ok, you used two charges, so what? Not like you had any adventures planned today. “What’s got you in a twis-GAH!” You get startled when Scootaloo puts her hooves between your cheeks and shakes your head to and fro.
“YOU CRAZY COLT! ALL SORTS OF BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU ALL THE TIME! PLUS, LAST TIME THERE WAS A BIG WEDDING EVENT IN PONYVILLE, A BUGBEAR ATTACKED! YOU MULTIPLY THAT WITH YOUR LUCK AND ALL SORTS OF THINGS CAN HAPPEN! THE ROOF CAN COLLAPSE, A MONSTER CAN ATTACK, CHRYSALIS CAN SHOW UP OUT OF NOWHERE, OR EVEN…” Scootaloo gasps as she puts her hooves to her cheeks, shivers, and speaks in a low terrified voice “What if Mrs. Rich gets so cheesed off that things went wrong that she gains some kind of crazy legendary earth pony strength and rips Equestria apart in a furious fury?”
...Wut? Wow, why was she worried all of a sudden? Ok, things usually end up making every day of your life interesting. But today? You had fucking security detail, and not much else to do afterwards, so you could just hang at the house or lounge with Fluttershy since she’s back. “Scoots, sheesh, get a hold of yourself.” You say as you give your cheeks a rub, they were a little sore from the shaking. “We got security, remember? Plus, everything seems to be going fine so far, nothing bad is gonna happen.”
“I just… I dunno, I…” Scootaloo seemed to have just gotten all heeby jeeby about the whole thing. Sheesh, wedding jitters and she isn’t even the one getting married.
You calmly put a hoof to her shoulder, and give her a gentle smile “It’s gonna be ok, Scoots. C’mon, let’s just get inside and get this whole thing rolling, ok?”
“...Right, right. Besides, what am I worried about anyway? Rainbow Dash is in town, so if anything bad does happen, she’ll take care of it.” She says as she wipes her brow, already feeling better.
Your eye twitches from those words, why did she have to say it in such a humiliating way? “Y’know, I could also do something. I have more than just the horn, remember?”
“I know, I’m just messing with you. Starlight said you had some pretty sweet moves, so I’m sure you could do something.” Scootaloo said as she began to walk towards town hall.
“Then why did you freak out just a few minutes ago?” You ask her, having some doubt to her words as you walk alongside her.
“Because those things could actually happen. There’s still some things you can’t possibly beat without your horn, Mrs. Rich being one of them. Anon, I’m serious, I think she could chuck Twilight’s entire castle past Canterlot if this somehow went wrong.”
Ok, now she was exaggerating. “Scoots… That’s not even possible, how could that possibly happen?”
“Anon, don’t you remember that Rockhoof, through sheer force of will, got super strong in an instant?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yeah, but like, that’s just a legend.” You say, causing Scootaloo to stop in her tracks as she just stares at you hard “...Wut? What’s wrong?”
“Anon, Rockhoof is real, we saw him like, during the whole Pony of Shadows thing. He spoke to you and everything” Scootaloo reminded you
“Oh, right, yeah! Ha, he was that viking like…” Your eyes suddenly go wide when you realized that the whole legend was actually true. “...Chuck Twilight’s castle, y-you say?” You mention with a gulp
“Y-yeah, and that’s after she sends you twenty feet… straight down.” Scootaloo says, stomping her hoof down to illustrate her point.
“H-haha… Y-yeah, y-you’re right. Let’s, uh, let’s just get inside and make sure everything is ok.” You say as you both made your way past the now dwindled crowd towards the front door.
There were still a few ponies around, some just discussing things, others trying to get into town hall. Really, how were you supposed to approach the front door when everyone was just going gaga over nothing? It really was starting to annoy you rather quickly what a big deal everyone seemed to be making this. Hell, as you and Scootaloo approached the main entrance, you could see Number Four turning away an old rich unicorn mare, with a white grayish coat and a rather rich but casual looking dress, from the door. You couldn’t see her cutie mark behind the dress.
“Are you sure you can’t let me in? I can pay you double of what they’re paying you now.” Said the mare, trying to bribe Number Four into letting her pass.
But Number Four, being rather suave and smooth, merely bowed to her and apologized. “I’m truly sorry, Mrs. Golden, but I simply cannot allow you inside.”
“But why not? Not many ponies have gone inside already, there must be enough available space for quite a few ponies, especially for ones such as myself.” She was trying to be as polite, and perhaps, even as alluring as possible, but Four wouldn’t budge.
“Indeed, you are correct, we still do have some room. But understand this, this false wedding is meant to be imperfect. It is engineered to simply be on par. Now you, with your perfect elegance and beauty, would be enough to disrupt such a balance by making the wedding something everypony would truly want to come to. Sometimes, Mrs. Golden, allowing the desirables inside is what makes things undesirable.” Four says that last part with a chuckle, obviously saying it as some sort of joke.
The old pony known as Golden had herself a giggle, and bowed to Four “Oh my, I never thought of it that way. I would make things above average, wouldn’t I? You, sir, are very astute in your observations, and polite to boot.”
Four just waves his talons at her in jovial dismissal “You’re too kind, but I am simply a lowly clone of my originator, I do not deserve such words.”
“Oh, but you do! No offense to ‘him’, but you are polite and much more intelligent than he is. Clearly you should have been the Hero Colt’s father, if I do say so myself.” She tells him as she motions towards an old pony behind her, garbed in a black suit. He pulls out a parasol, and holds it over her. “It really is a shame. Oh well. Although, Princess Twilight’s castle is nearby, perhaps I could have a chat with her instead about that new school of hers.”
“I’m sure she’d be happy to talk about it. Fare thee well, Mrs. Golden.” Four said to her as he raised her hoof gently and gave it a kiss.
“Oh m-my” She said, blushing and flustered “You do know how to treat a lady. Ahrm, but let us not get too intimate, shall we? As you are well aware of, I am married”
“Yes, you are, but it is hard not to be polite to one so alluring. But now I speak of subjects I shouldn’t. I will leave you be to your devices, as I still have a duty to uphold.” Four said to her. After that, Mrs.Golden left with her butler, trying to hide her blushing face from the public. Seems she hasn’t been treated like a young lady in quite some time.
“Wow, he really is polite.” You were just watching from a distance, amazed how ANYTHING that came from Discord could be so nice and flattering. “It’s kind of creepy, coming from him.”
“C’mon, Anon, Number Four is cool! Really, he should be your dad, he’s pretty rad.” Scootaloo comments, obviously still seeing Number Four as this amazing guy that, while you agree he’s pretty damn great, he isn’t as cool as Discord is… Maybe. Christ, are you having a thought that he might be? He’s just a clone, a variant of Discord that was rushed out in a shorter time than when he usually does things. Then again, he lacks the mean and underhanded streak Discord has, which actually seems to make him boring as well, at least in your eyes. Sure, the chest thing was great, but… Hmm, it was pretty great.
Still, in the end, if he became the dominant force, that means the Discord you knew would be gone. Obviously, this is probably not how it actually works, but Discord, in the end, has given you so much, asking for so little in return… Sometimes. Yeah, you still prefer Discord, he has more personality and you’ve known him the longest. He was one of your best buds. “Scoots, I mean, sure, he’s great, but my dad has been pretty great too. He gave me this horn, this life, a home, and allowed me to make a bunch of great friends, including you. Sure, he can be a butt, but he’s a butt I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, not even a nicer clone.”
Scootaloo flinched at those words, and looked down, feeling shameful. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have even said that. Yeah, I guess Discord is pretty cool too, and he has been pretty awesome towards you when you put it that way. I guess I just wanted Number Four to be his own guy, that’s all. He doesn’t even seem afraid of disappearing at all. You’d think it’d be scary or something.”
“It’s fine. As for disappearing? Yeah, it sounds scary, but my dad has made independent acting clones before, and they never seem to care about it. Number Four, heck, all the clones are probably ready to disappear without issue. And…” You already knew Scootaloo really didn’t want him to go away. Did she see him as a father figure? Man, he got to her quick in such a short amount of time. Then again, girls can be pretty emotional like that. “I know you really like him, Scoots. I know he’s nice and neat and all that, but he’s just a clone, probably just a piece of my dad’s personality. Even he understands it. Plus, he mentioned my dad would gain his memories, right? He won’t really be gone, he’ll just bring his piece back to my Dad. If you’re willing, after that, I’m sure he’ll be pretty cool to you too, he already seems to trust you enough as is. I mean, he picked you as my best mare. Plus, knowing him, it’ll be a hilarious reaction when all of Four’s, and even Five’s, memories slap his brain. He’ll probably lose his mind over the fact that you’re now his actual friend through them. But in the end, I think he’ll secretly not mind that.”
“I-I guess that’s ok, sorta…” She clearly still was not comfortable about it. “But isn’t your Dad, like, even a jerk to his friends?”
“To Aunt Fluttershy? He’s like a kitten. To Spike and Big Mac? He’s pushy, but he does love to hang out with them and get his O and O in. With me? He knows he can push me the farthest with his shenanigans, but he probably, in the end, treats me at a level near my Aunt. You just got to get to really know him. You know what I mean? It’ll be fine, I promise.”
Scootaloo takes a deep breath, slowly accepting the reality that Number Four and Five would have to leave soon. She still felt, that if it was her, that knowing you’d have to disappear would be extremely scary to her. But if the others would be ok with it, and would remember her in some way, then maybe it’d be fine. “I believe you, and I know what you mean. It’ll be weird though…” She forces a smile “Suddenly having him as a friend. I know the girls won’t want to hang around him too much, but if he can be as cool as his clones, then I’m fine with it.”
“Cool, that’s good to hear. Really, it is" Good, she finally accepted it, just in time too "Heh, looks like the crowd is moving away too, let’s go say hi to Four and see what’s up” You say, walking forward towards Town Hall, with Scootaloo trailing behind.
“Ahh, I am glad I have eyes that do not deceive. Greetings, Anon, Young Scootaloo. You both are right on time.” Four says, as he does a polite bow to the both of you.
“Hey Number Four, saw you handle that old mare earlier, that was super smooth. Usually, rich ponies can be pretty mean.” Scootaloo comments, smiling up towards Four with a gentle grin.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Their type just have a lack of patience due to becoming used to convenience. Deep down, they are the same as you and I. Well, all of you anyway, if you understand what I mean. Oh, Anon, did you enjoy opening that chest? I admit, I don’t have a full grasp of chaos magic like our originator, but I believe leaving Number Five behind to fix my overdoing of things seemed to have worked out.” Number Four said. It seemed, much like you have, he overdoes chaotic magic casting.
You nod, it did make you nearly cry after all. “Yeah, it came out of nowhere. But it was so flipping cool to experience. Thanks for that, really.”
“It truly was nothing, a simple cast of chaos magic was all it really was.” Heh, Four was pretty humble too.
“Number Four, what’s going on inside? Are we late? Or early? And what’s up with turning so many ponies away? Is it really supposed to be that uhhh, what word would you use for it?” Scootaloo asked
“At this point? Par to slightly subpar would be the word, or words, I’d use. And believe it or not, you both are still quite early. They are still setting up inside, but most of the guests have arrived as well. Young Scootaloo, I really do apologize that I will be leaving soon, is there anything I can do for you before that moment comes?” Four asked, looking down on her with a pleasant smile. He just suddenly said that too, perhaps he could sense her worry and just wanted to let her know it'd be ok.
“Just promise me you and Five will be cool enough to say goodbye before you go, got it?” Scootaloo removes her sunglasses to give him a forlorn, but serious look, doing her best to keep things straight.
“You have my word. In fact, I’m sure Anon, with his wily ways, will find a way to make sure nothing goes wrong.” Four looks to you with a wink.
“Ah, trust me, I’ll guilt trip him to here and back if he even tries.” You say with a soft chuckle
“Ah, ever the cunning and crafty Anon. Well, before you both go inside, let me just say that Mrs. Rich is being rather demanding. I’d suggest doing what she says and staying out of her way. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you both.” Four says as he begins to open the door.
“Really? Sheesh, why is she acting like that?” Scootaloo asked.
“She invited some of the press inside. It seems she’s trying to make this whole event into something glamorous and chic while still being incredibly simple and unremarkable. In other words, she’s trying to make sure everything goes perfectly. So just prepare yourselves, and do as you’re told.” Four says as he steps aside after opening the door.
You nod “We will. There won’t be a problem out of us.”
“I know. Good luck you two, and especially to you, Anon.” Four tells you as you both head on inside.
Wow, everything was rather… Unremarkable. There were barely any decorations, no wedding cake, only a few random ponies on either side of the seats, and Mrs. Rich herself seemed to be having a chat with some ponies with cameras up towards the podium. Hell, even Starlight was up there with her, and she just looked utterly uncomfortable.
“Well well, look at you two, lookin’ pretty swanky.” Said a familiar voice of a filly from the bronx. You and Scootaloo look to your right to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Babs Seed, and… Spike? They were all sitting at the back row together, but it just made you wonder why. Well, in Spike’s case anyway.
“Thanks Babs, and heya! Oh, and hi girls! And er… Spike. How has everything been so far for you guys?” Scootaloo turned over to the group with an enthusiastic smile. Despite Four's report, she wanted to see how her friends have been handling things so far.
“Not much happened so far. Mrs. Rich has been doin’ all sorts of preppin with them news ponies up in front, Diamond Tiara is in the back gettin’ ready with Silver Spoon, Mr. Rich is with the mayor, and we just been waiting here waiting for y’all.” Applebloom said as she updated both you and Scootaloo on the situation.
“I kind of wish there were a little more decoration and stuff. This is supposed to be a wedding, but everything looks so drab. It’s not romantic at all.” Sweetie Belle whined.
“Isn’t that the point?” Spike asked “It’s supposed to be a cheap pretend wedding on purpose, right? Besides, the romantic part is when Anon and Diamond are up there saying their vows and stuff.” Spike suddenly stops and starts tapping under his chin, feeling like taking back some of his statement. “Then again, there isn’t even any cake or afterparty or nothing. I know if me and Rarity had a pretend wedding like this, it’d at least have a wedding cake.”
Nobody says a word on that, not even you, you all just stare as Spike at how fucking delusional he was being right now about his chances with Rarity.
Spike though, just shrugged it off, although he did have a slightly embarrassed blush on his face “Hey, I said pretend wedding.”
Everyone has a giggle at that, with Babs nudging him with a “suuuuure”. You, however, never got why everyone just laughs at statements like that, it wasn’t that funny.
“Annnnnnyway, what are you doing here anyway, Spike? Seems kind of weird seeing you hanging with the crusaders.” You ask him, seeing as he was out of place.
“I asked, how else? That Discord clone guy said only five friends of yours were allowed, and since I’m your friend, he let me through. But if you wanted a serious answer, Twilight suggested I should go. She got a letter this morning from that creepy Neighsay guy saying she can pretty much do whatever she wants with the school and now she’s all suspicious about it and stuff. I tried to tell her that he probably realized how important it all was and changed his mind on being such a tightbutt, but she thinks there’s more to it than that. I think she wanted me to go so she could try to figure things out herself without being told she’s being nuts. Opening up a new school has already been rough on her, and now this happens, it worries me, y’know? But I also know Twilight knows friendship is more important than anything else, so I’m sure she’ll figure out that making sure her school opens without a hitch will be on the top of her priority list.” Spike explains to you. It was clear he was worried about Twilight, but wanted to avoid pushing her buttons.
“O-oh, erm, y-yeah, that makes sense.” Oogh, you felt a sense of guilt on that one. But why should you? This is on Twilight. All she has to do is make sure her school is successful when it comes to nonponies and she’ll be golden. Really, she was just being a mental case. Just move on from it, Anon... “But, wait…” You then notice something that makes you count in your head. One, Two, Three, Four. There were only four friends on the seats, as you knew Scootaloo didn’t count since she was your best stallion… mare… filly. “Five? But there’s only four of you. Huh, where’s Big Mac?” Actually, you would have really loved Lyra and Bon Bon, but that would have made six.
The girls giggled at that as Sweetie spoke up about that. “He went to make a delivery for his special somepony. Which, considering how far he has to go, is super romantic. He’s willing to go that far, just for her. It’s really sweet.” She said with a longing sigh
“Heh, yeah, it really is. Never took cousin Big Mac as the romantic type, but then again, I wouldn't know since he doesn't say much.” Babs comments as she looks over to you with a smirk “Speaking of, you got a preview of your wedding vow, Anon?”
Wedding vow? Ugh, you still haven’t really come up with one yet. “Still working on it, actually.”
Sweetie belle just brought her hoof to her face on that “Of course you are, typical Anon.”
Godammit! Vows were hard! And it hasn’t been on your mind due to all the other shit you had to deal with! “Give me a break! I had a lot to deal with lately!”
“Like what?! Besides the exam thing, what else is more important than your wedding?!” Sweetie shouted at you.
You open your mouth to retort, but then you realize you can’t actually say it. Dammit, you can’t just say you were spying on Twilight’s students, it’d make you look bad. Well, worse than just saying nothing. Luckily, due to your hesitation, it gave Applebloom enough time to raise her hooves towards the both of you “Now relax you two, we don’t wanna have a fight right before the wedding!” Then she began to whisper as she looked over at Mrs. Rich “Besides, ah don’t wanna see Mrs. Rich lose her cool. She’s been pretty calm so far, but she’s also looked pretty easily irritable too.”
Sweetie Belle looks over at her, then sits back with a huff “Fine… I guess if you were really that busy, then it’s understandable.”
Damn right it was!
“What are you all fighting about? Whatever it is, perhaps the Great and Powerful Trixie can use her new and amazing powers of friendship to help you out in ways Twilight cannot.” Trixie says, as she just… suddenly appears from the far side of Sweetie Belle and sits down, looking at you all with an arrogant smirk.
“Trixie?... wait. Are you like, the fifth friend on my side?” Seriously?
“Mhmm, I am. I spent the night readying my wagon after Discord had it moved and…” Suddenly she just, fell asleep, leaning over and falling right on Sweetie. So much for fixing the problem, was she up all night 'fixing' up her wagon?
“U-ugh… She’s been doing this since she got here… A little help, please?” Sweetie asked as she began pushing up the sleeping mare off her body.
You almost laughed at that, but held it in the best you could to prevent causing a fight. But then something hit you. They were there, but where were Fluttershy and Discord? As Babs and Applebloom helped Sweetie, you looked to Spike to ask him about it. “Hey Spike, have you seen my Dad or Aunt Fluttershy yet?”
“Nope. Guess you didn’t run into em’ either, huh? That’s a little weird though, considering Discord could have just teleported here by now. And, considering Fluttershy would be looking forward to this, it doesn’t really make sense for him to wait around. Wonder what happened, I hope they're ok.” Spike said, showing some worry as he tried to mentally figure out what happened.
Hmm, actually, you could still contact him. After all, you both never removed the codecs from your ears. “Well, I could just contact him. Here, let me just…”
“Anon, Scoota…loo? Hm, yes, I think that’s your name.” Mrs. Rich said as she began to approach the both of you. Both you and Scootaloo felt a cold shiver down your spines as Mrs. Rich just appeared behind you, she must have finished discussing things with the newsponies. “Starlight, please take Anon’s best stallion and prep her for her role, I need to speak to Anon alone with my husband.”
“Hey, wait! I know what to do! This isn’t my first wedding, y’know? Besides, Anon needs me to help him get ready and stuff. Also, can we just say ‘Best Filly’, please? ‘Best Stallion’ just makes the whole thing sound... Uncomfy. Although, Heh…” Scootaloo chuckled to herself when she realized something. “ ‘Best Filly’, that just makes me sound super cool” she says quietly to herself.
“Yes, Yes, whatever you want, just please go with Starlight. I’d like everypony to be on point, smile, and not do anything to ruin the moment and…” She starts looking around when she realizes Discord and Fluttershy weren’t there, and in a dark voice she said “Where are they…?” Oh fuck, she was going into scary mode already.
“Mrs. Rich, please, remember, your own rules apply to you too… Erm. Anyway, I’m sure they’re on their way.” Starlight immediately realized what she meant, and did her best to keep her calm. “And remember, you said this was for Anon and your daughter, not for yourself. Let me handle Scootaloo, and you handle Anon. Alright? Remember, nothing is wrong, and nothing will go wrong. Your words, not mine.” Starlight was doing her best to defuse the already volatile situation. “Me and my assistant can handle it, alright, Mrs. Rich?”
Mrs. Rich looked to her, then you, then towards the other ponies in the gallery who began to get anxious. She then took a breath, and calmed herself. “Yes, you’re right. Thank you for reminding me. Come along, Anon, we have much to discuss.”
You didn’t even get a chance to speak with Discord, or Starlight, and all Scootaloo could do was whisper a good luck to you as Mrs. Rich took you past the podium and down a hallway to the right. You could tell her to wait, but Four suggested you do as she says. Probably really is the best advice at this point.
Mrs. Rich led you down the empty hallway to a set of empty doors, being silent, looking back at you at times. Odd thing was though, you didn’t see Mr. Rich or Mayor Mare anywhere, huh. “Mrs. Rich, where’s Mr. Rich?”
“He’s not actually down this particular hallway. No, I actually wish to speak to you alone. I only mentioned him because that Starlight seems to think I’m too stressed to handle things on my own.” She stopped, and turned to look at you with a solemn look. “She’s wrong of course, but what I want to talk to you about would worry my husband if he was around to hear it.”
Worry her husband? What was she getting at? Did something happen? ”What’s wrong, Mrs. Rich?”
“It’s Diamond, I don’t know what happened to her, but she has been rather down and doubtful of herself lately. She suddenly wishes to be more your partner than your wife, which given the situation of age, isn’t exactly a bad thing. The real problem is the fact that she doesn’t seem to feel she isn’t good enough anymore. She told me such preposterous things, such as telling me that she manipulated you and your feelings.” Mrs. Rich scoffed “Highly doubtful, I wouldn’t even know where she’d get such an idea. But…” Mrs. Rich was doing her best not to look sad or brokenhearted as her voice quivered just a tad “It doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t feel worthy of you anymore. I think it’s just wedding jitters over a fake wedding, but I won’t take any chances. So first, do you plan to see this through?” She gave you a serious look as she asked this. “I am aware that young love is fickle, but you’d be surprised how much it has worked at even younger ages. Therefore, your answer must be exactly what you feel.”
Christ, she was just springing this on you? Now?! How do you even answer this? Was she even serious? This was not a question you’d expect out of her. Really, you’d just expect her to force you into just accepting it.
Ok, let’s think. Diamond is pushy, and manipulative at times. But it does seem she genuinely loves you, and will bite the head off of anyone who even insults you. You could free yourself to maybe find someone better, or become a degenerate who fucks anyone willing… But Diamond was affectionate, and possibly good wife material, she never even seems to lose her focus when another good looking colt or stallion is around. She did say she wanted to better herself, and she already knows a lot more about your secrets. Really, you could say yes, help her feel better, and then see how things go with this whole partner thing. “I do. I know we’re just foals and stuff, but I like her enough to see it through. If I can say without offense, I’d still maybe would like to marry her one day.” That should be a good enough answer.
“Hmm, a mature answer indeed…” She then shifts her eyes as she mutters “And one that saves me from the press, ahrm.” She then looks back at you “And I assume you have your vow ready, correct? And what do you plan to present to her as your binding love?”
“Well, Scootaloo is holding on to this locket for me. As for my vow...erm…” You still had nothing. And even stranger, it didn’t seem to bother Mrs. Rich when you hesitated on your answer.
“As expected. This is why I hired two marriage specialists to help you, they’ll be waiting for you behind this door.” She points to the farthest door visible. “I figured your hectic life would hinder your thought process. At least, I’d hope that would be the case, with the reason NOT being that you were just being lazy or incompetent.”
Ouch, that is kind of harsh. But really, with the whole Neighsay thing, the former was a pretty viable reason. “Yeah, my life has been kind of heavy for the past few days. Thanks, Mrs. Rich. But uh, I kind of feel bad that’d you go and waste money on some experts just for me.”
“Don’t be foolish, I didn’t spend a bit. They said they knew you quite well and have worked on many successful weddings. Considering I don’t think it takes much to prep a colt for a false wedding, I’d say it was a fine deal.” She said with a rather greedy smirk.
Two experts that knew you? Pinkie and Rarity? Nah, they were elements and too high profile for Mrs. Rich to let in. Bah, nah, it’s obviously Lyra and Bonbon. Ha! So they weaseled themselves in after all, that’s fucking neato. “Yeah, it sounds like it really was. And don’t worry, Mrs. Rich, I promise I’m really devoted to this.”
“I know you are, you would have stayed home if you weren’t. But now, I have a favor to ask. Again, this ties to your devotion to my daughter.” She shivered as she mustered up her next words, as if it nearly hurt her to think about it “So, without telling me anything other than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, would you be willing to spend time with Diamond at a resort at Las Pegasus for a few days? It’s sudden, I know, especially since you both would have to leave soon after the wedding is over, but I believe it’d cheer her up greatly to know that you, Anon, would be personally surprising her with this gift that you came up with on your own without my help whatsoever.” Mrs. Rich said as she revealed two golden tickets with the pictures of… OH GODDAMMIT, THEM?! THEIR RESORT?! YOU KNEW THEY HAD ONE, BUT OF ALL THE PLACES, THAT ONE?!
Calm yourself, Anon, you knew what she was asking. She wanted you to go up to Diamond and say it was all your idea. She wanted you and Diamond to have a good time and see if you both were truly compatible at this point. But fucking christ, a few days? Well, even though Twilight’s school would be open, you’d still have a whole week before you go. However, Where did she get those tickets from? And how much did it fucking cost her? You slowly reach and take the tickets, and put them in your saddlebag “Sure, I think it’d be a great way for me and Diamond to really spend some time together. But Mrs. Rich, how much did these cost? They couldn’t have been cheap. I could compen-” But Mrs. Rich snapped at you before you could even finish that sentence.
“Don’t treat me as if I’m poor, the only reason I’d accept compensation is if somepony borrowed from me or my husband. Secondly, the tickets were free, directly from the brothers themselves.” Her snapping anger once again became one of her trademark scummy smirks when she mentioned how free the tickets were.
Free? Oh christ, it’s probably worse than you thought then. They had to have had an angle, and she obviously fell for it. “I kind of know those guys, and they don’t usually give anything for free. Did they make you sign anything? Or gave you some ridiculous condition for the tickets?”
Mrs. Rich reaches over with a hoof, and whaps your head lightly “What do you take me for? A commoner? Don’t insult me, only morons and peasants take something for free without reading the conditions. This was the best kind of free, Anon, without any strings attached. They had been offering tickets to their resort at a five percent off special, which that of in itself, is insulting. I tried to reason with them that I’d pay, with fifteen percent off, for two tickets, but they wouldn’t budge. I tried using the angle of 'helping foals' to get my way, but still, they would not budge. Then I told them who I was, and what foals I was helping, that being my beautiful and illustrious daughter, and you, The Hero Colt. Hoho, for some reason, the one without a mustache screamed out ‘it’s free’ and I made a deal before his brother could even take it back. Oh they argued about it, but the tickets were mine, and that's all that mattered” Mrs. Rich snickered to herself “I love it when they can't haggle” She said as her head tilted forward, her expression looking just as evil as Chrysalis herself.
Christ, she can be scary. “N-no, offense, Mrs. R-rich. B-but did you have to say that in such a scary way?”
“You should join me on tea with the rest of the upper crust, Anon, it'd make your head spin. Ahhh, but that’s a conversation for another day. Anon, please stand straight for me, head up.”
“O-ok” You do what she says, feeling a little antsy about how scary it felt to be around her all of a sudden. But what came next, was even more unexpected. She suddenly began to gently hugging you, sniffling lightly as she did so, you could even hear her quietly thank you for going along with it all. It was a soft and gentle hug, very motherly.
When it was over, she pulled back a bit, and looked at you with teary eyes. “A-Anon…”
“Y-yes, Mrs. Rich?” You ask, feeling a warm fuzziness, and wanting to help her even more.
“If you tell Anypony, especially the press, that I showed this much affection towards you, I will bury you, hire somepony to dig you out, and then I will bury you again. Is that clear?” Despite how heavy that was, she was still soft and teary eyed in her tone and expression.
“C-crystal…” You gulped. Not quite twenty feet scary, but just as effectively terrifying.
“Good. Now, I need to go clean up before I greet my husband. I don’t want to worry him, and I want to make sure he’s alright and not overwhelmed by what’s going on.” Mrs. Rich said as she stood up straight, carefully wiping her hoof at her eye.
Aww, that actually sounded really sweet of her, to support Mr. Rich like that. Well, really, it was normal, but for her, it was sweet. “That’s really cool of you, Mrs. Rich, I can see why Mr. Rich married you.” Well, you couldn’t really, but whatever floats his boat. You only said it because you genuinely cared enough about her.
“I know… and you won’t mention anything about that either, I still have an image to uphold. Just know that I love my family dearly, even if I don’t show it, or sometimes seemingly forget about it. I would trade in every bit I have for them. I don’t plan on that ever actually happening, but it’s still something I’m willing to do. As for my husband himself; I hope, Anon, that you become as great as he is someday. And… mnngh, I am getting too sentimental and… OH!” Mrs. Rich growled at herself as she suddenly looked at you with a sharp look “I don’t care what that mare has to say. Where are your father and aunt? They should have been here and seated by now.” Suddenly, Mrs. Rich was pretty much back to her old self, and being a bit too stressed all of a sudden as well.
“R-relax, I have a way to contact them instantly. I promise they’ll be here before the wedding actually starts.” Or, you hoped so anyway.
“Hmph, I see, just let them know that we'll be starting soon. Now, I have some business to attend to. Contact your father with whatever you plan to use, and then get ready with those specialists. And, furthermore… Good luck, and thank-” She doesn’t even finish that last part, she just turns and walks off before ending the sentence. Obviously, she felt she had shown too much affection for one day. She obviously didn’t want there to be sudden snapshots of her being gentle and caring when obviously her rep painted her as cold and ruthless. You’d pity her, but she obviously loved to be seen that way, or just did it for business purposes. Probably both.
With you alone in the hallway, you put your hoof to your ear and call for Discord. “Discord? Hey, Discord.” You whisper “The hell is taking you so long? Can you hear me?”
“Of course I can hear you, but I’m a tad busy at the moment, can you call back later?” Discord said, sounding calm
“No, I will not call back later! Where the fuck are you?!” The hell?! He’s gonna tell you to call back later at a time like this?!
“No need for language, Anon, it’s not my fault we’re late. It just so happens that we arrived in town, That’s the good news!” Discord said, rather cheerfully.
Good news? “Then what’s the bad news?”
“Seems my presence scared one of the passenger’s puppies to near death, Fluttershy is tending to it now. If you could give us at least fifteen to twenty minutes, we’ll be there for sure.” Discord said
That much time over a fucking puppy?! “Are you serious?! It's totally your fault! Ugh… whatever. So, I'm guessing you’re not gonna rush Fluttershy if she’s doing her best to help an animal.”
“Of course not, why would you even suggest such a thing? That would upset her. Ahh, but I can tell you’re upset about this as well, right?” Discord asked, actually seeming like he cared about your feelings.
“Not really, it’s just everypony else that’s getting antsy here. Are you sure it’s going to take that long?” You asked
“Anon, have you seen me? I’m delightfully terrifying, I make even rivers wet themselves, it’s going to take some time for the puppy to recover. But don’t fret, I promise you that Fluttershy and I will make it.” He says to assure you.
“...Yeah… Just hurry it up, huh?” You really didn’t need Mrs. Rich having a meltdown.
“Will do, see you soon, Anon.” Discord tells you before ending the call.
Ugh, this day has been a rollercoaster of good and bad so far. You remove the tickets from your saddlebag and give them a look. Hmm, It wouldn’t be too bad, right? Sounded like they were afraid of you, to the point of your name making them freak out. As long as you somehow don’t end up porking Diamond, this could actually turn out to be a good time and even have some actual relationship bonding. Plus, it’s not like you couldn’t wreck the brothers’ shit if they try anything. You put away the tickets with a smirk. Yeah, it’ll be ok.
You take a breath, and slowly walk into the door. Inside, there was a dresser with a mirror, a beautifully wooden tiled ceiling, a pretty potted plant with a tree that had sprouted flowers, a curtain hiding a small changing room, and a rather fresh and fragrant smell. You also noticed a mint green and very pale set of legs just under and behind the curtains. Heh, they were trying to surprise you? Cute. Should you spoil things for them? Yeah, you will, but in a humorous way. “Oh man, this room sure is empty. I think I’ll use this alone time to gather my thoughts and say bad things about my friends Lyra and Bonbon.” You say in a casual way.
“Hey! We’re not bad!” Lyra said in a shout as she opened the curtain “Especially me! Just because I took a sneaky bite of that guy’s big lolipop doesn’t mean beans!”
Bonbon just shook her head as she put a hoof on Lyra’s back to calm her “Lyra, you got duped. He knew we were here the whole time.” She said with a calm sigh “Mrs. Rich must have mentioned us or something.”
“Oh… Is that true, Anon?” Lyra asked, confused as to what just happened.
“Yep” You say with a chuckle “Heh, looks like I wasn’t too far off though when it comes to you, Lyra”
Lyra just scrunched her nose, annoyed “Yeah, well…”
Bonbon let out a little giggle herself as she stepped forward to greet you “It’ll be ok, Lyra, I won’t tell anypony. Anyway; hello Anon, as you may have already guessed, we’re your wedding consultants.”
“Yeah, I heard, how’d you both even manage that?” You ask, curious as to how they even managed to truly get the job.
“Well, it’s because that nice version of your dad wouldn’t let us in! Well, both of us in, there was some kind of stupid friend limit or something. And even as stupid as that was, I couldn’t stay mad about it” Lyra said with a giggle as she fixed up her mane a tad “He did notice how good I looked, how could I stay mad when he complimented me so well?”
Bonbon smirked as she rolled her eyes “It’s almost as if he was pretty much doing that to everypony.”
“Nah, just a few… I think. Anyway, let’s get back to the story! So, we were just walking around, and we actually heard Mrs. Rich wanted to hire some specialists in case something went south. Bonbon, being the genius she is, had a whole bunch of official looking papers with really nice words she could flash around to make it look like she was fit for the job! I mean, we both kind of are, we’ve worked on weddings before. Anyway, she managed to get the job easily with Mrs. Rich barely even reading it, and I got to fill in as an assistant! Cool story, right? Now we get to attend your wedding!”
“Well… It also helped that I agreed to do it for free, that was probably the biggest factor. Which also begs the question.” Bonbon then looks to you with a cool and calm stare “Do you actually need our help, Anon?” She then gives you a rather swarmy smirk “Are you getting cold hooves?”
“Oh, Bonbon, don’t be mean now! It may be a fake wedding, but it’s still a super nice event.” Lyra said with a gentle giggle, finding her friend’s implication funny. but a little jerkish as well. “He has no reason to be getting cold hooves over something so sweet. Oh! Wait!” Lyra chuckled sheepishly “Unless he really doesn’t have any idea how to handle a wedding. Anon, you do know what you’re supposed to do, right?”
“U-ummm, I kind of just stand there and wait for my bride, right? Say my vow, get the trinket I’m gonna give her from my best stallion, and kiss?” That’s how it was, right? Sheesh, it’s easy, you just had to figure out what you were going to tell Diamond. Then you remembered something else "Also say, 'I do'... Pretty sure that's the most important part"
“Wow, he said all that without even saying ‘ew, how gross’, he really is out of this world.” Lyra commented as she gave you a gentle pat on the head
“Yeah, but then… Do you even have a vow, Anon?” Bonbon said, noticing you had some hesitation in your tone when you spoke.
E-ergh! Dammit, did she see right through you? “Y-yeah, I sort of dunno what to tell her. Any ideas?”
“Anon! We’re not supposed to give you ideas! We’re just supposed to help you with your ideas an-” While Lyra did find the idea of giving you a vow preposterous, Bonbon, it seemed, had other ideas as she interrupted her friend.
“Just say that you vow to be her partner through the thin and thick of things, to share your life with her, and that you want to face any problem as a team, no matter how scary it could be. And before anypony asks, she’s been having issues trying to figure out if she’s been annoying to you all this time. Dunno if you knew that, but that's how I figured out what your vow should be.” She said, as Lyra immediately began to protest.
“Bonbon! Why would you say that?! I mean, it’s pretty nice, but Anon is the one who’s supposed to come up with something like that! Where did you even hear a rumor that she was doubting herself?” Lyra asked, shocked.
“I overheard it when I was checking things out. Plus, considering Anon is going to need something to perk her up, I figured that’d probably be good enough without it sounding hammy or forced. She’ll probably say something like ‘really?’ and Anon will nod and say ‘yeah, I really like being with you, Diamond. And I want our love to be real.’ . Then things will work out from there. Pretty good, right?” Bonbon was being pretty serious about this, while having a rather cheerful demeanor. She just wanted to help, afterall.
Lyra just sniffled up, finding her words sweet, and wiped her tear from her eye with her hoof “That was beautiful, Bonbon. Ok, never mind, I’m ok with that suggestion.”
And as far as you were concerned, so were you. You could make up not making your own vow by making sure the trip to Las Pegasus was awesome for her. “Yeah, me too, I have things figured out for after all this, so it should be fine and dandy. Oh, speaking of fine, hehe.” You put your saddlebag on the dresser and pull out your Starlight Hook. “Check this out girls, I got an upgrade on my grapple hook.” You hold it out for them to see.
“Ohhh! Look Bonbon, some of it is kind of shiny now, and has some weird tubey stuff on it.” Lyra pointed out giddily, finding what she was looking at neat. "That's soooo cool!"
“Yeah, huh… an upgrade, eh? Weird, considering the grapple hook itself is pretty high quality, with a long reach, and a powerful enough launcher to let you climb any height. How can you improve on that?” Bonbon asked, feeling skeptical about the whole thing. Seems she had some pride on the make of her tools, and felt they couldn’t be improved upon in anyway, especially a high quality grapple hook like that.
You gave her an arrogant smirk and flicked the taser switch, causing the line within the grapple hook to light up with a crazy electric blue as the hook itself shook rather violently. Christ, ok, don’t turn the thing on when the entire line is retracted, you could feel the damn thing rattle like no tomorrow. You shut it off, and then look to Bonbon again with a slightly less confident smile and a nervous chuckle “Ok, that kind of isn’t supposed to be turned on when the line isn’t out. Either way though, it’s basically a stunner hook now. Not only can I use it to get to where I need to go, but I can also use it to take down beasties with a flick of the switch. Just wrap it around em, and ZAP! They go down just like that! Pretty cool, huh? Really, I gotta thank my friend Starlight, she's the one who upgraded it for me.”
“...huh” Bonbon just slapped her forehead with her hoof, astonished that she somehow never thought of that before “G-gee, I-I… wow, just… Ugh, that would have made my work so much simpler. Ok, ok, you got me, that’s a pretty cool upgrade. Hmm, makes me think, really. If she can upgrade it, then maybe...”
“Ooohh, Bonbon, are you getting ideas in upgrading your old stuff like Anon did?” Lyra asked, giving a gentle nudge to her friend.
“Maaaaybe, maaaybe not. Heh, if I wasn’t such a good friend, I’d just take it back for myself. All in all, that’s pretty cool, Anon. Totally neat!” Bonbon said with a wide cheerful smile, but it was clear she was getting some sort of idea in upgrading whatever gear she was talking about.
“Totally, and… Oh, I didn’t even compliment you on how cute you look, Anon. Isn’t he the cutest, Bonbon? Just look at his mane! I wanna rub my hooves on it forever!” Lyra looked to you, giving you a kissy face and shifty eyebrows.
You just blushed deep and stepped back, dammit, was she teasing? “C’mon L-Lyra, you don’t gotta tease me like that.”
“I know, it’s just always adorably funny that you just get all flustered when I do that an-” Suddenly, there is a knock on the door as the sound of Discord, or a Discord, is heard speaking through it.
“I apologize, girls, but we are nearly ready to go. Can you please go take your seats while Anon takes what little time he has left to prepare?” Said whatever clone was behind the door.
“Already? Huh, that was sooner than I thought. Ah well…” Bonbon shrugged “C’mon, Lyra, let’s go find us some good seats.”
“Right behind you, Bonbon! Good luck, Anon! We’ll be rooting for you!” Lyra said with a giddy giggle as she followed Bonbon out the door.
And you just stood there, as nervousness and doubt began to fill your mind. Hell, you even felt a strange loneliness after the two left. Soon, all eyes would be on you, and you had to make sure to be genuine while not fucking things up. You look to the mirror on the dresser with a frown. “Dammit, Anon, this should be easy. Relax, you have the vow, you have the tickets…” You sigh, put away your grapple hook, and give your saddlebag a gentle pat as you try to compose your thoughts. “Why are you even worried? Nah, don’t be worried! She needs your help, and you gotta make sure this wedding works out for everybody! Plus, you’ll be able to see Fluttershy again really soon, and she always cheers you up! Haha...ha, talking to myself…again… Still, I pretty much have the advantage here. I mean, the tickets were free goddammit, and I have enough in my arsenal to make sure shit doesn't go wrong... Yeah”
You chuckle sheepishly to yourself in the mirror, then smile cooly and confidently as you come to realize that things were truly in your favor. “Yeah… I think I got this and- hm?” Suddenly, the door behind you opens, revealing Number Five. “Oh, hey Number Five.” You say, just to be pleasant to the guy. You don’t really turn around either, you were too focused on your thoughts.
“Ah, hello Anon…” Five says as he slowly closes the door “Don’t mind me, just performing a task…”
“Huh, what kind of a t-” Wait a second… Five didn’t talk. You quickly look back to him, and see a knife fly towards you instead. Near instantly, you manage to dodge the knife by tilting your head as it cuts and sticks into the wall. You then looked upon the Discord clone, who had green glowing eyes full of hatred and disdain... Oh god no. “C-Chrysalis?!”
“Well, damn, seems my ability to disguise myself has gotten rusty. Still…” She raises her talons, their tips glowing green, as she picks you up, telekinetically, by the neck, and brings you to the wall slowly as she cackles. Her talons begin to morph into her hole-ridden horn as the torso slowly morphs into her head, the rest of the false body following suit to reveal her true form. “I can’t forget my manners. Hello, Anon, I’ve missed you.” She said with a vicious low tone, cruel and full of malevolence. "I was beginning to think you may have forgotten about me. But look at you, figured me out so quickly; I guess you'd never forget a pretty face like mine, right?" She said as her hold on your throat began to slowly tighten "Too bad for you, though. It'll be the last stroke of genius you'll ever have."
How could you not fucking see this coming? It was a wedding after all.
She was here, of all the times you could have run into her, this was the time. Fuck, Scootaloo was right, you really could have used a charge on your horn. Even worse, it seems Scrappy had her pegged on the two possibilities she was gonna pull on you, and unfortunately for you, it was the bad possibility. Why though? What was she up to? “C-chrysalis, n-ngh, what are you doi-doing?” You choked out as she continued to hold you by the neck with her magic.
“Oh, what? You can’t tell? I, as your good friend, wanted to come to your wedding… Oh wait, scratch that…” She tightens her grip just a tad as her expression becomes ever so angry “I meant your execution.”
Ok, she wanted you dead, that was clear. But why? Dammit, you had been willing to try to reconnect with her when you had a chance, but things kept getting in the way. Or, hell, you didn’t even know if she was even willing to reconcile or where she even was. Are you making excuses for yourself? Now isn’t a good time it seems as she looked pretty damn pissed. Even then, you’d think after all that bonding you both had, that she wouldn’t resort to this. “C-chrysalis… W-we’re friends, w-why? W-what happened to you?” Another thing you noticed is that she looked… weaker than before. Weaker, but a lot more sinister than you remember. If this was the case, you had to find a way to neutralize the situation before she either ended you or someone came bursting in.
“What happened to me? Oh, you want to know what happened to me now that you’re about to be destroyed, how quaint. Now you care, well then, let me illuminate things for you before you perish since you’re just DYING to know.” Chrysalis was a little off kilter when she spoke. She even turned around as she kept you in her grip, probably to sound ominous and mysterious like most villains do. “To be honest, I didn’t want to exact my revenge on you at all, not at first anyway. It was the princesses who brought ruin to my hive, and caused my beautiful children to become putrid traitors… Horrible, blind, disgusting traitors. Something that would have never happened if not for those insufferable princesses.” She was definitely disgusted by those thoughts, her voice becoming angry as she spoke closer to things that hurt her. “... So of course, I had plotted to either ruin them, or best case scenario, destroy them. But then I realized something…” She then looked back at you with a hateful but calm gaze “It was you who caused this. You were the one who let the princesses get close, you were the one who let yourself be so easily manipulated by them, you were the one, despite having so much power hanging on your neck, allowed them and that traitor Thorax to ruin everything I ever worked for. Essentially, I came to realize that had it not been for you, then this would have never happened at all.” She then suddenly stops speaking, gives you a cruel smirk, and just lingers for a moment before giving your neck another squeeze “It made me wonder if we were really friends, or if you were just that good of a stooge for the princesses. All those films, saving another universe, our time as siblings, all a ruse to ruin my life. Well, allow me to return the favor.” Her eyes glowed as they twitched, her horn growing ever brighter “Any last words, Anon?”
Oh… oh god, it was worse than you thought. It really was your fault, wasn’t it? Was it really? It wasn’t like she also wasn’t manipulating you. In fact, you both were playing a game of manipulation between all of this, trying to get the other to their side. Plus, you had so many other friends, what were you supposed to do to not end up betraying them? Hell, you had family too that you care about. Really, had you joined Chrysalis, Celestia might actually become Nightmare Galaxia or some other crazy evil bitch, like something called Daybreaker or something. You felt the guilt coursing through you just from looking at her defeated form. But 'sorry' simply wouldn’t be enough, and you wanted to somehow make things right for her. But first, you had to keep yourself from choking to death. What are you supposed to do though? How can you get out of this? Your horn was useless at this point and… Wait, the horn was useless, wasn’t it? If you can just stall her for a moment more, you could figure something out, something to make it all work. “Chrysalis… ngh, D-do you rea-really want to d-do this? I’m pa-pathetic, I-I know… But w-we can still figure something out.”
“I already have things figured out, Anon. I’m going to end you, it’s as simple as that. Or, rather, it’s simple for me. See, not only am I going to make sure your end leaves you a lifeless husk, I’m going to leave evidence that it maaaaayyyy have been caused by one of those blithering buffoons that idiot of a chaos spirit created. Imagine it, Anon. Ponies you care about finding you, lifeless, it’ll be oh so sweet. Ponies, as I’m sure you know, aren’t very used to a concept such as a colt being dead. Human cruelty really is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? I’ll be creating more sadness and chaos than that twit ever could. And as a bonus, everypony will blame him for it. The perfect revenge…” Chrysalis said in a low crazed chuckle. Christ, she’d become edgy as fuck too. Luckily, she monologued enough for you to figure something out. You just had to hope it’d work. She was already losing some of her grip as she found herself absorbed in her own cracked ego.
The plan was simple. Give her the horn, hope it distracts her, grab the Starlight Hook, and… Man, it really did make you feel bad for what you planned to do. But unless you took charge of the situation, she was going to kill you. You were scared, shaking, one misstep and you’d be dead. But you were willing to make a move, to save your friend that you let down. Just don’t become obsessed again, Anon. You can try, but don’t fall into that web, there’s no escaping it if you delude yourself like you did before. Chrysalis is a villain, there are no buts about it, if you somehow can fix it here, maybe you could at least let her know she still had a friend in you. Yes, that’s right, you were at least willing to let her go if she was willing to make some compromise… Though that was going to be tough if you, in fact, had to zap her like a bug… Which she was… Geez, Anon, just go for it before she kills you. “I see… C-Chrysalis, please, let me prove to you that you still have a friend in me. I’m not that same guy you knew from before, I can handle things now, I know how not to be pushed around or manipulated. And… Well, that means for you too. We have to come to an understanding, we have to compromise. I know you don’t want to end me, I know, deep down, you see me as a friend. Do you really want to be alone forever due to this? We’re friends, we understand each other, and I myself always love your company. There’s nothing for you if you do this, so just stop, alright?”
“Save your breath, Anon, you’ll need it for the last few gasps of life you’ll ever have. Besides, how do you even plan to make up for the fact my children betrayed me? I think one life isn’t a good enough equivalent to a million or so, but I’ll make due.” She says to you with an angry eye twitch.
“My horn, I’ll give it to you. Because… Because I know the Chrysalis I care about is still there, and you’d choose me over it, just like you did when you nuked your old captain. Just let me get it off for you, please…” You pleaded with her, using your feelings for her to mask your lie. You knew if you tried to trade your life for the horn out of fear, she’d see through it by feeling out the fact you still cared about her. But just because she could sense your feelings, didn’t mean she could see what you thought, and you just had to hope she couldn’t see through your feelings for her.
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at you, seeming skeptical at first. Then suddenly, she softened up, and slowly started to let you down as she brought a hoof to her heart. “A-Anon, what? Even after what I said? After what I was planning to do to you? You’d really do that? Y-you must be lying, y-you don’t care about me… Nopony does.” She sounded sincere, but you knew better. She was off her game for sure, she immediately started playing her cards too early to be believable. Maybe she didn’t realize you were willing to give up the horn that easily, and given her mental state, just started to try to pull at your heartstrings to make sure you’d give it to her without issue. Chrysalis, the one you remember, would have just been snarky, knowing you’d never give in that easily. And if you did actually give it to her, you felt in your heart she’d have returned it with some weak excuse as to why.
“I mean it, I’ll give it to you… I know you’ll do the right thing, and give it back to me.” You said, with no retort of her own as she began to slowly lower you. You sigh, and look to her with a forced smile, terrified over your next movements. You hold back a gulp, and slowly slide off your necklace, holding it towards her. “Here, just like I promised.”
“Anon… I…” She slowly takes the bait, and as she looks at you with a warm smile, just as you guessed, it slowly turned into a twisted grin as she slapped the horn on her head, she then began to mock you “Cannot believe you’d ever actually think I’d fall for that! I really can’t believe it! I finally have ultimate power! Enough power to quickly create a new throne before that moron has a chance to disable his own ma-” Chrysalis found her thoughts cut short when she notices dark flames billowing from the side of her eyes. “What?! You used both charges already?! BOTH?! How did you even manage that?! Your days are always full of ruin and dread! By Tartarus, if I didn’t kill you, something else surely would have and…” Chrysalis stopped herself, as if she was suddenly having a nostalgic flashback. She then steadied her mind and turned to look at you “And it doesn’t matter, now does it? Since I’ll make sure your end is slow and agon- What are you doing?” When she did look at you, she noticed you had on your Starlight Hook, and it was aimed directly at her.
“Chrysalis, don’t make me do it. Just calm down, alright? I’m serious, we can work this out, but you have to meet me in the damn middle here. Alright? Let’s talk.” You had it aimed right at her, you wouldn’t miss.
Chrysalis just laughed a light hearted giggle “Oh, really? No, I think not. You’re in no position to demand anything out of me. If you did, you’d have a spine, and we wouldn’t be here now. But, like the insect you are, you are doing everything you can to live. Really, I thought those I tricked were persistent in winning over my heart, but you’re just something else, aren’t you? Go ahead, shoot your silly little fishing line, and then I’ll snap your neck right after.” She said with a chilling coldness.
You nearly hesitate, but you couldn’t let her have her way. What a reunion… You only wanted to chat with her as friends, but it’d seem you’d have to really take her down first. You aim, and fire the hook, causing it to wrap around Chrysalis’s torso. She just looks at the line boredly, then looks to you with half slitted eyes “Wow, you really were serious.” she said in a sarcastic tone “Oh no, I’m restrained, whatever will I do? Oh wait, I’ll just use my magic to ASFDSFDSFSDFSD” And with that, you flicked the switch, sending a stunning wave of shocking electricity through her. After a few moments, you flick the switch again to shut off the stream of electricity. Chrysalis falls, near unconscious, groaning and twitching as drool drips from her mouth. "G-guh, Mandible... H-help mommy up..."
“Christ… That actually fucking worked. I actually outwitted her…” You then look to her fallen form, and begin to frown. God, she’s fallen so hard… “Chrysalis… What am I going to do? I can’t begin to feel how much hurt and rage is in your heart right now. Losing your children like that, I guess I can see why you wanted to kill me. But fuck…” She wasn’t in the right either. She manipulated them too, she made them suffer for her own selfish reasons. But even then, they were her children, and it must really hurt for all of them to betray you just like that. Really, no one was in the right. And truthfully? Her children being freed from her grasp was the best thing to happen to them, even if they did turn out to be gigantic pussies. They don’t starve, they are happier, still dumb, but happy. “Chrysalis, you just need to- Wha?” Suddenly, there’s a heavy knocking on the door.
“Anon! Anon! What was that? Are you alright!?” You hear Starlight at the other side of the door, knocking on it heavily “I swear, I heard something, Number One. It almost sounded like… Wait, the door is locked? Anon! Answer the door, please!” You hear her knocking become more frantic.
SHIT! You were found out! If she sees Chrysalis here, who knows what will happen!? What if everyone finds out?! DAMMIT! “H-hold on, Starlight! I was just… Practicing something!” Shit shit shit! What do you do?!
“Anon, I swear I heard somepony’s voice in there, and something heavy dropping. Just let me in, alright? I want to make sure you’re ok!” She sounded desperate and worried. Dammit, you didn’t want her to be, but now wasn’t a good time. What to do, what to do?
Well, wait! The horn! Chrysalis just slapped it on without even putting the necklace around herself, you could use it to send her and yourself home, surely Starlight would try to make things seem alright in front of the Riches and stall for time as she tried to figure out what went wrong. You were going to get an earful for sure from her, but you had to do this. You quickly grab the horn from Chrysalis’s head and slip the necklace on as you pop the horn itself on your forehead. You then begin to look around as you realized you were missing a water source. “Shit… come on, come on… Wait, the dresser!” You rush over to it and open the drawers, finding all sorts of colognes for stallions and soaps for quick grooming. You grab them all and start breaking them upon the ground near Chrysalis so the liquid would seep under her.
FUUUCK! NO TIME! You aim your horn at the strong smelling liquids and zap open a portal, causing Chrysalis to fall inside as you dive through right as a flash of light covers the room.
You both pass through into your room, landing on your bed. Chrysalis bounces off onto the ground upon impact with it as you fall flat on your belly onto the soft and warm surface. You quickly stand up, your nerves still on end, and look down at the fallen bug queen. “Shit.. SHIT!” Goddammit, Starlight knew something was up… And not only Starlight, but Number One did too, which meant Discord would eventually know as well. You could already tell things were not going to be as relaxing after the wedding as you had hoped. But that wasn’t important right now, right now you had to figure out what you were going to do.
She wanted you dead, she wanted you fucking dead, with chaos to follow soon after. Her mind was fractured, and her need for revenge was strong. How were you going to handle all that without her overpowering you? For now, you could give her another shock if she tried anything again, but you didn’t know if that’d truly keep her down.
It was you versus her, it was going to be a battle of rage, guilt, manipulation, and broken hearts. You started to realize that maybe, just maybe, taking a forward approach might be the solution here. To just step forth, and try to cut through her bullshit. What did you have to lose? You still held the advantage, and she wasn’t going to listen to you if you puss out. That’s always how it was, wasn’t it? The moment she sensed weakness, she’d take advantage of it. Just looking at her downed form, and being in your room, it made you yearn for the times where you both actually got along. You look into your saddlebag and pull out the locket she had given you when she masqueraded as your sister. Opening it up, you could see within it a photo of you and her in her real form. It made you feel sorrow that it couldn’t be like this all the time. And at this moment, you had to do your best for her. If you failed here, you wouldn’t get another chance, and you couldn’t betray your other friends just for her either. Essentially, it was all or nothing. “Chrysalis… Wake up, please. We need to talk.” You say in a soft yet strong manner, looking over her with a stern expression from your bed.
“Mnnn, nnmmmgh… W-what happened?” Chrysalis slowly opened her eyes, dazed, and slowly began to stand as she took a look around, her vision blurred. “Why does everything seem so familiar?”
“Because we’re in my room. We need to talk Chrysalis, friend to friend.” Stay strong, Anon, don’t falter.
“Friend? Your room? Ngh!” Chrysalis took a better look around, actually surprised to find herself in Discord’s home. “How did you?! When did you?! NO! I refuse to be imprisoned in this place again!” She then looked at you with an intense fury, and even growled towards you “Why you… I’ll destroy you!” She yelled as she prepped herself for an attack, not even caring to use her magic this time.
“Stop! Ok! Fuck!” You bring your hoof towards the stun switch, and look to her with an intense stare of your own. “You wanna know how this happened?! My hook can shock you, that’s how! It knocked you out! Look, If you even glow the wrong way, I’ll fucking send you to the ground! As for why we’re here?! It’s not to imprison you!” You take a breath, and try to calm yourself “It’s because you nearly got found out. I brought you here to save you, to prevent you from getting caught. I didn’t want to lose you again now that you finally came back, even if it was just to kill me. I wanna talk, Chrysalis, don’t make me hurt you again.” You had the locket prepped in your hoof, ready to show it to her in a way to calm her down and show her you care. A classic trope indeed, you just needed the right opportunity.
Chrysalis looked like she was still about to pounce, but she didn’t actually make a move. It seemed like she was analyzing the situation as her mind became more clear. She looked around again, then at the line, then at you. “I got outwitted by the stooge. Chrysalis, how far have you really fallen?” She sighed, and looked at you with an annoyed expression “Well, you finally have my attention, don’t you? Especially now that your emotions are at their peak. So you actually do care, so what? You want to talk? What do you want to talk about? What more can you do to sink my life even lower?”
“I don’t want to sink your life even lower, I never wanted to do that. Chrysalis, the truth is, I understand that I fucked up, but it wasn’t like you were any better. We manipulated each other, and both of us wanted us to fall into each other’s endgame, even lying to each other. Hell, you weren’t even telling your children the truth, you were manipulating them too. They got caught in the crossover. But look what happened, They transformed into beings that can actually sustain themselves and-” But those last words were enough for her to interrupt you with her rage.
“HOW DARE YOU! WHO CARES ABOUT THE TRUTH! THEY WERE MY CHILDREN! WE DID WHAT WE HAD TO SURVIVE, SPREAD, AND DO-” But fuck that shit! You weren’t gonna have any of her crap either.
“AND WHAT?! WHAT?! HUH?! TAKE OVER EVERYTHING, RIGHT?! GUESS WHAT, CHRYSALIS!? GUESS FUCKING WHAT?! YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN ARE BETTER OFF NOW THAN THEY EVER WERE WITH YOU! THEY’RE HAPPY! THEY'RE WELL FED! FUCK, THEY EVEN HAVE FRIENDS NOW! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY LEFT YOU? IT WAS BECAUSE THEY REALIZED YOU WERE A FUCKING BITCH! GODDAMMIT!” Your eyes started to water as you yelled at her, you were pouring all your emotions out at this point. You were just sick of it, sick of her excuses and bullshit. “IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAD TO LOSE THEM EITHER! YOU COULD HAVE BECOME LIKE THEM, AND LIVE A LIFE WHERE YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO STARVE OR TAKE OVER SHIT! I CAN TELL, CHRYSALIS, I CAN TELL YOU ARE AS HUNGRY AS YOU WERE WHEN WE ENDED UP IN THAT OTHER EQUESTRIA, IT’S RUINING YOU! FUCK! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MADE US FRIENDS?! IT WASN’T THE MANIPULATION, IT WASN’T THE GAME, IT WASN’T THE PLOTTING, AND IT WASN’T THE PONIES…” You were breathing hard as tears heavily ran down your cheeks. Your nerves were shot, and you were starting to lose hope “It was all the fun times we had together, the movies we saw, the adventures, hell, we even bonded as actual siblings. Chrysalis, I meant what I said about the horn, I know you didn’t take it when you beat the X-captain because you cared, you really did care. I know we can still be friends. But fuck, you gotta calm down, alright? Life isn’t about being evil or taking over shit, friendship is an actual thing, and I know when it comes to us, that you know that it’s true. So please, let’s just talk, ok?”
Chrysalis started to slowly walk to the side towards your window, very slowly, in a way you’d not notice what she was planning to do due to your current state. “Just talk, hm? Do you want to talk about our feelings? Is that it? Reconcile? Be friends again? Is that it, Anon? Did you miss me?” She just kept slowly moving til she reached your window, eyeing you, trying to sound soft and comforting while still condescending.
“Kinda, yes. I just want to-wait, what are you doing?” You then finally notice when she reaches her hoof behind the window blinds.
“What else? Getting my REVENGE!” Chrysalis pushes the window upwards as quickly as she can before you even had a chance to flick the switch. You yourself fall backwards in fright over the fact that the window to your room was opened with no way to defend yourself from the horror waiting outside. “MWHAHAHAHA! HAha...ha?” Chrysalis’s evil laughter slowly came to a halt when she realized that the X-Captain wasn’t busting in to murder the first thing he saw. Hell, when she looked at the window, he wasn’t even there. Her eyes narrowed as she let out a heavy groan “I can’t believe it, even when the idiot is supposed to be predictable he still somehow disappoints me.”
Hell, even you were perplexed by it. You were actually more blown away from the X-Captain’s disappearance than the fact Chrysalis just opened the damn window. “Yeah, sheesh, he never fucking leaves that spot. Where the fuck did he- Wait…” You then looked to Chrysalis with anger “YOU JUST TRIED TO KILL ME AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK, CHRYSALIS! C’MON!”
“Oh hush…” Chrysalis says as she rolls her eyes at you “You know how important revenge is to me. You did ruin my life, you know? Ugh…” Chrysalis looks to the line that was wrapped around her torso, then back at you “You going to zap me again? For trying to kill you?”
You could feel your hoof twitching, you really should after that stunt. Was she still plotting? Did she really want you dead that badly? You could feel your hoof drawing closer to the switch, but you didn’t have the will to flick it now that she seemed calm. “Are you done with your murder bullshit? Christ, Chrysalis, I’m doing my best to try to talk to you, but I’m starting to think the ponies were right, that you deserve to rot in fucking Tartarus.”
“Oh, I can tell, I can feel your rage burning inside you… It’s nowhere near as tasty as your love for me though. Ahh, but fine, you want to talk? We’ll actually talk this time, but not here. Follow me.” Chrysalis says as she calmly walks over to your floor door, and starts walking downward, nearly dragging you with her as the line starts to tug at your leg. It seems with the X-Captain gone, and her plans wrecked, she was finally willing to talk. You quickly rush to the window to pull it down before the line actually started to pull you down with Chrysalis. With the window shut, you quickly trot after her, going down your gravity stairs, while trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.
“Could you at least tell me what you want? Where are we going?” You ask, as Chrysalis opens the trap door to the basement caves.
“You’ll see. Besides, if you’re worried, you can just flick that switch, and end everything.” She was suddenly so calm, so focused as she began to walk down the stairs.
You thought about it, you really did. But as you inched towards the switch, you realized the locket was still wrapped around your hoof. You decide to look at it again, then hold it up while calling to Chrysalis. “Chrysalis… You know, I kind of kept this, you remember what it is, right?”
Chrysalis looks back for a moment, but doesn’t really react as she continues her trek down “You kept that, hm? Was that supposed to make me care?”
Ngh… Yes… “I mean, I just thought you’d feel better knowing I kept it. As a symbol of our friendship.”
“It’s a useless trinket, Anon, it means nothing to me…” Chrysalis says as she reaches the bottom, and looks around the cave. After a few moments, she finally spots what she was looking for. She could see her car, in perfect condition, just resting on a stone pedestal. You could swear for a moment, that she lit up in a girlish giddiness, letting out a tiny squeal before clearing her throat. She then began to slowly walk towards it as she spoke as calmly as she could. “That however, I find rather amazing. You kept my car around? It looks like it hasn’t been touched in ages.”
“Yeah, I did. I knew you really loved the car, so I managed to convince Discord to keep it around, and I made sure nopony used it. Ugh, Chrysalis, c’mon, don’t tell me you’re about to care about me because of the damn car.” Like, really?
“Ok, I won’t” She says with a small subtle giggle as she opens the driver door and hops inside. “Get in, then we’ll talk.” She says as she tosses over the line towards the passenger side so it doesn’t get caught on the driver door.
You sigh, and head over to the other side, and enter the car. You just plop your butt on the seat, and watch Chrysalis just rub her hoof along the the wheel and door of the car. “So… What now?”
“We talk, you can say we’re in my happy place right now. Enough for me to forget the crimes committed against me. Mmmm, so, how have you been, Anon? I heard you defeated the Storm King.” Chrysalis says as she fondles her gear shift.
“Yeah, sorta, it’s a long story. But yeah, that happened. I kind of stuck the guy’s head to X-Captain’s ass too. They kind of don’t like each other, they argue a lot and stuff.” You say, eyeing Chrysalis carefully, trying to make sure you don’t let yourself get distracted.
“Oooohh, and they say I’m cruel.” Chrysalis says with a chuckle “I don’t even think I’d have done that. Very nice.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty funny. Um, how about you? What have you been up to?” You ask, staying casual, but still cautious.
Chrysalis calmly begins adjusting her rear view mirror. You found it odd, she seemed content, and yet she hasn’t started the car yet. Hmmm… “Oh, fighting to survive, hiding in the shadows, cursing my life and all the lives of everypony I hate. The usual.” She then looks to you, still looking relaxed. “So, if you still care about me, why still be friends with everypony else?”
“You know why, because they are good friends, for different reasons. Speaking of, I kind of told Diamond about us. You remember her, right?” You ask, wondering and hoping, that you could steer this convo to your favor. Now that you had the opportunity to talk to her calmly, you might be able to get her to see that you weren’t the only one capable of caring about her.
“Of course I do, she can manipulate you almost as well as I can. I liked her spirit, but that’s probably only because of how much she controls you.” Chrysalis actually had a cute little smirk as she said this, but then she let out a tired sigh as she leaned back on her seat “So, how much does she hate me?”
“She actually doesn’t. She actually thinks you’re pretty rad.” You say, looking to her with a gentle smile of your own. “She thought you were actually like a big sister, she even wanted to invite you to the wedding.”
“... I’d say you’re lying, but I can taste that you aren’t. Ugh, how disgusting that I have to admit that I find that both misguided and adorable at the same time. So, she likes who I am, how interesting.” Chrysalis said as she began to slowly move the steering wheel left and right.
“She does, but not as somepony who is evil. Either way, it does kind of prove my point. You can make friends with other ponies, Chrysalis, and I… Mmmm…” You really wanted to drill the point home, but perhaps it wasn’t a good time to play the ‘game’. “I’m sure you can figure it out. Anyway, I really have missed you, y’know? I missed watching movies, and I missed the times we can be real with each other, I missed our chats. But things are more complicated now too. I’d like to go back to it all, but my other friends are just as important… I don’t know what to do, Chrysalis. I really wish… Ugh, I’m just gonna say it, I wish you’d just be good. I can’t just obsess over you anymore, and I can’t be evil like you. You should know that…”
“If I conquered Equestria, that wouldn’t be an issue. But things really do have to be oh so complicated. I agree though, I do miss all the fun times we had together. I even realized killing you would have probably made my life lonely. Not a word I like to use to describe myself, but it’s clear my children hate me, so it’s not like I could just go and ask them to follow me again.” Chrysalis said with a sigh “And I’m aware the runt does miss me. But just like you, I don’t think he’d be willing to betray his friends. Maybe switching sides wouldn’t be so bad… But then I remember how pathetic ponies are, and it just sickens me to my core.”
“Is it really that bad to you, Chrysalis? I’d think the whole transformation thing would be an upgrade to what you are now. The other changelings don’t need to eat constantly anymore, they practically make their own food through their love and care for each other. I mean, could you at least tell me why that doesn’t sound good to you?” You were really curious as to why she didn’t like the idea.
“Because it makes you weak. And don’t tell me it doesn’t, you’ve seen how pathetic they have become. I don’t want to become like that, it’s that simple. Those who are weak deserve to be ruled by the strong, those who are food deserve to be used by powerful beings such as myself. It’s how We-I have always survived. Quite frankly, I’m not interested in doing it any other way. I’ve seen what they have become, they lost themselves. Even the runt has lost his fangs. And given the X-Captain, chaotic mutation is off the table as well. The extra power isn’t worth it. Anyway, I do believe that fool Twilight believes in the virtue of being true to yourself. Well, this girl enjoys who she is. I’ve just hit a minor setback, one I’ll figure out the solution to very soon.” Her voice suddenly hit a tone of sinister as her speech went on, it started to unsettle you.
“What do you mean by ‘solution’? Chrysalis, come on, it’s not worth it. What good is being evil when you’re all alone?” Ok, you sounded like you were trying to convince her to switch sides. But so what? You wanted to fucking save her, now was your chance! “You know I’m your friend, and now you know ponies are willing to be your friend. Hell, Chrysalis, having friends means you’d also have food. It’s win-win. I’m not saying you have to transform like the other changelings, I don’t expect you to change, but being evil for the sake of being evil is stupid! Please, come on… I want you back. As a friend, as a sibling, as somepony I can share human culture stuff with. Don’t throw it all away for something stupid. What do you have to gain?”
“Domination, it’s what I’ve lived for, for almost as long Equestria has been around. Us girls are stubborn, Anon, I’m sure you’ve learned that by now. We want what we want, and while I admit your offer to switch sides has actually tempted me, made me think…” And quickly, like a whip, Chrysalis turned to her side and held you by the neck with her foreleg, some of it wrapped in your hook line. “That I really don’t want to lose who I am, and I’m really not interested in your attempts to change that.”
“N-ngh! C-chry-?!” You could barely breathe. FUCK! YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?! NO!
Chrysalis didn’t say a word as she slid her hoof along your leg and to your Starlight Hook. She moved her hoof to the electrical switch, and flicked it. You began to scream in pain as the shock from the line on her leg coursed through your neck. Chrysalis herself was now well fed, and while grunting from the pain, was taking the shock around her torso much better than you were from the line at your neck. But she also didn’t keep it on long either, just enough to properly stun you before shutting it off. She then shook off the line around her torso as she began to stand on her seat. She then flitted her wings, and hovered over you as you looked at her in a heavy daze. She just eyed you for a moment, then smirked “Thought I was going to kill you, didn’t you? No, we’re alright now, I just got sick of talking about ponies and their ways of friendship, that’s all. I meant what I said, I have no interest in switching sides, but I also realized that I really do enjoy your company… I’ve missed it so much. Besides, you have a wedding, remember? We can't let you waste any more time. Ugh, where would you be without me? Still obsessing over me instead of wooing your love, that’s where. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to make things work and bring Equestria down. As for us, well… Have a movie ready next time, ok? Oh, and thanks, I guess… I can finally get over the fact my children are terrible. You were right, knowing I have at least one friend does wonders for a heart… That and getting strong enough to make sure that shock didn’t hurt me too much, thanks for that. Well, Anon, it’s been fun, but I have some plotting to do. Keep my car safe, stay alive, and have a good wedding, you have my blessing. Mwha~” She says with a giggle, blowing you a kiss before making her escape up the basement stairs. But before she did, she looked back one last time, and whispered “I don't think I'll ever find somepony better, so don't die soldier.”
You? You had to take another minute laying there twitching, Chrysalis’s turnover was quite shocking… Literally. "N-ngh. I-I think my balls popped from that..."
You just laid there in your seat, shaking. You were stunned and found it hard to move as your mane stood on end. But it wasn’t really the shock itself that kept you down, it was what just happened that caused you to lay there, thinking. You hadn’t seen Chrysalis in a long time, and she only came back to kill you. But once she calmed down, it was almost like old times again, just hanging out together. You only wanted her to be good so you both could hang out whenever you both wanted, but she just wouldn’t do it. This time though, her excuses were somewhat different. It wasn’t just her wanting to be evil that prevented her from changing sides, no, it was due to the fact that she was afraid of change. She was afraid of losing herself, becoming weak like the other changelings. It really seemed she believed she wouldn’t be herself if she gave in, and so chose not to. Secondly, she was a little more subdued than she usually was, and seemingly more lonely. Perhaps it was the loss of her children, but the fact that she actually cared what Diamond thought of her was very out of place for her. Either it meant that she actually cared about her friendship, or deep down, she didn’t want everyone actually hating her despite the fact she didn’t give a shit about it before.
It made you think of Gertrude, from that other Equestria. Her children were actually killed by a squad of exterminators, and she was taken as a slave. She took in actual foals as her children after that, caring for them as if she was their mother. Maybe that’s what Gertrude meant about Chrysalis becoming good like her, it really did require the loss of her brood. The only difference is that due to the way it happened, Chrysalis wasn’t willing to throw in the towel just yet. No, she had to realize her own feelings about it first before anything could truly happen. Which means…
“HAHA!” You yell as you jump up on your seat. “I finally have the solution! I CAN FIX CHRYSALIS! ALL I HAVE TO DO IS… Is… Ogh.” No, you didn’t have the solution, just the foundation. You still had roadblocks to manage. How would you convince Chrysalis? How would you make the ponies see she could be good, it's not like you could do that with a song or something. And then there was the fact the princesses had to be in the know so they wouldn’t ruin your shit. It also goes without saying that Starlight and the others have to know as well… Maybe even Fluttershy should know. Can you do all that?
No, you couldn’t puss out this time. You had plenty of time to figure it all out. Chrysalis would make her appearance again sooner or later, and you’ll show her that she can be accepted if she compromises just a little. She didn’t have to be a good guy, she just had to be close to an anti-hero in terms of her attitude. And the princesses? As soon as you get the chance, you were going to step up to each one of them and give them the fucking business. You had a foundation now, and they fucking owe you for your part in defeating the Storm King. Ok sure, Twilight kind of helped, and you wouldn’t have gotten far without Tempest, but the other princesses got fucking stoned before they even knew what hit them. You had the leverage and- Oh shit…
“THE WEDDING! FUCK!” You were wasting time planning when you had a wedding to get back to. What if it already started?! What if you ruined your relationship with the Riches?! And oh god, what is Starlight thinking right now? No time to think! You rub your forelegs through your mane to straighten it out, then start rushing towards the portal door as fast as possible. When you get into your room however, you stop to take notice of a few things. You look over to the window first, with the blinds open to expose what is beyond the other side. The X-Captain still wasn’t there, he was just gone. Where the fuck did he go? Ugh, he’s probably doing something stupid, and it was something you couldn’t deal with right now. The other thing to notice was the dial next to the portal door, it was set to the Everfree Forest. Seems Chrysalis made a getaway into the forest and into the unknown, she’d definitely be back once she comes up with another plan, and you’d be ready for her when she does… Hopefully.
You set the dial back to Ponyville, and look back at the mirror on your dresser for a moment to fix up your tuxedo. It was disorganized, and given the lack of time you had, you were nearly fumbling trying to get it back to an acceptable level. “C’mon… C’mon, ugh, this isn’t uhmmm… Ngh, ok… Erm, good enough?” You did your best to get the black bowtie straight, but it was slightly crooked, not to mention the suit itself had gotten somewhat dirty. Dammit, it’ll still have to do. You rush through the door, through whatever crowd was outside, and you don’t even stop to speak to Number Four… Which was a dumb move since the door was closed, causing you to crash head first into it.
“Anon? Huh, I don’t know why you’re out here, but I certainly hope you aren’t going through enough of a bout of madness to not notice a door. Is this wedding too stressful for you?” Four asked as he stood you up and dusted you off, his swipes of his paw actually fixing your suit and fur, and hell, even your mane.
“Wha? Huh? Uhmm…” You were straightening out your thoughts after that impact. You weren’t dazed, you were just wondering how the fuck your stride got stopped. “Madness? OH… No nah, I just had to go home for something. Y’know, important stuff… I’m not late for anything, r-right?”
Four just slowly begins to open the door for you, having a small chuckle to himself. “No, our originator and dear Fluttershy haven’t arrived quite yet, but it won’t be long… Also, I already know about Chrysalis. Starlight was able to figure that out rather quickly with the help of Number One.”
FUCK! This was gonna be uber awkward. But then, why is Four so calm? “You’re not upset?”
“I don’t have long to exist, and my memories will soon be Discord’s. All I can say is be careful. And considering you obviously did your best to hide Chrysalis, I can already tell you’re going to make another attempt to reform her. Is that wise?” He asks you, sounding as calm and cool as a wise old man.
That question and his overall reaction made you feel a tad irked, like there was going to be an incoming shitstorm coming your way soon. You took a deep breath, and did your best to answer his question. “I actually have a foundation to stand on now, I know what’s hurting her. I even have a general idea on how to fix it, I just need to get past a few hurdles first.”
“Hmm” Four said with a nod as he stepped aside. “I wish you good luck then, that’s all I can really say about that. But for now, I would suggest making yourself known. Commander Starlight was having quite a time explaining what happened to you.”
Oh shit, right. She probably had to explain why you suddenly just disappeared. “R-right, um… Before I go, how do you think Discord will react to this?”
“Skeptical, worried, and yet willing if only for wanting some of the credit for reforming a villain such as Chrysalis. Of course, you’d only have that last part if what you have to tell him is good enough. Otherwise, he might be surprisingly protective of you. Is that a good enough answer?” He asks.
“Yeah, thanks, I think that might help me figure out how to proceed then. Erm, anyway...umm” You look down at your chest, noticing how much nicer your tux looked. “Thanks for the cleanup.”
“No trouble, wouldn’t want to disappoint the little filly, now would we? Again, good luck to you, Anon. Don’t dawdle now.” He says, with a shooing motion. Of course, he wasn’t doing it to push you away, he just didn’t want you to waste any more time than you already have.
“Right, thanks! Um, here I go!” Yeah really, geez, how were things going to go now? And where the fuck was Discord and Fluttershy? He said they were coming, but when? You step inside to see what chaos awaited you, but it seemed there was none to be had. Mayor Mare was at the podium, Scootaloo was up front on the left side, holding the box with the locket, everyone was seated, and everything seemed ready to go. It was awkward though, you could see that the rest of the Discord clones, a total of four, were seated side by side with Starlight, all of them looking at you, hell everyone was just looking at you. “Um… Hi? S-sorry everypony, sorry, was just uhhh, doing something. Um, I guess I should come to the podium, right?” You were nervous for sure. You could see Mrs. Rich sitting with the paparazzi, not looking like she was too angry or anything of that nature. But Starlight? Oh man, you could tell she was waiting for it all to be over just to find out what the fuck you were thinking.
“Of course, Anon, please come up. Don’t worry, we won’t start unti-OH MY!” Mayor Mare was greeting you with her usual cozy smile, only to be surprised when the door behind you suddenly bursts open, smacking into you so hard you go flying into the air and fall right in the spot you needed to be, landing right on your hooves.
“G-gyah! What happened, am I dead?! AM I DEAD?!” You looked at yourself, then around to see you were still in town hall, and without harm. “Oh, I landed right where I needed to be... For once… The heck was that?!” You and everyone in the room look down into the aisle to see the originator of all things chaos himself, Discord. He was dressed in a white and red football uniform with an infinity symbol as his number.
“Touchdown! Chaotic Discords beat out Everypony else in a blowout game! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Look at me go!” Discord was really putting up an act here, hell, it took you a moment, but you realized he was holding onto Fluttershy like a football as he began to dance, spotlights coming upon him as he did his victory jig.
Discord just danced there, not noticing that everyone was just staring, Mrs. Rich already starting to fume until she finally let out a “WILL YOU STOP WITH THAT MINDLESS DANCING! THIS IS A WEDDING, NOT A SPORTS GAME, YOU DOLT! SHOW SOME CLASS!”
Discord stops immediately, slumps, then just looks to everyone with an annoyed expression of his own. “Well, excuse me, I’m sorry for bringing home the Chaos Cup trophy to our wonderful little town.” Discord said as he held a worried and dizzied Fluttershy in one arm, his trophy in the other. His trophy, of course, just being a statuette of himself holding a long looking platinum trophy.
Mrs. Rich just slowly stood up from her seat, and started to smile an eerie smile as she stepped up to Discord. “Oh, and it’s a very lovely trophy indeed. Completely worth your… Unique entrance. May I see it?”
Discord gently puts Fluttershy down and gives her a pat as she begins to regain her senses. He then looks to Mrs. Rich with a chuckle and hands her the trophy. “But of course, and here I thought you didn’t appreciate my hard work. But I suppose my grand prize changed your mind quickly.” He then noticed the paparazzi just staring and preparing their cameras. He straightened his helmet as Mrs. Rich took the trophy. “And look at that, just in time for a photo op!”
“Yes, just in… TIME!” Mrs. Rich slams the cup part of the trophy right onto Discord’s snout, causing it to get stuck. Oh yeah, she was pissed. “NOW SIT DOWN BEFORE I RUIN YOU FINANCIALLY! AND TRUST ME, I WILL FIND A WAY TO DO THAT!”
Discord did not like that at all, he could see the newsponies snapping pictures of his humiliating predicament. But before he could even raise a talon, Fluttershy starts to shake his side with her hoof, catching his attention as she looks up at him with her usual soft expression of worry and care. “Discord, please don’t. Remember, we’re here to support Anon, not cause a scene.”. Discord however, pointed to his snout, then to the reporters, which only caused Fluttershy to become a tad sterner. “Well, you shouldn’t have upset Mrs. Rich like that. But um… If it’ll make you feel any better…” Fluttershy slowly hovers up to him, and very quietly whispers “I thought it was kind of funny…”
Discord immediately calmed down upon hearing that. He sighed a muffled sigh, snapped his talons, and redressed himself in a tux of his own… With the trophy still stuck to his snout. He just looked down on it, shrugged, and went to sit down at the seat reserved for him, giving you a small wave as he did so, you just returning the wave with a small chuckle.
As Mrs. Rich calmed down, with a sense of satisfaction for shutting Discord up, Fluttershy just turned her attention to you, and smiled such a sunshiny smile as she waved at you. “Anon, it’s so good to see you again. How have you bee-” But before she could finish her sentence, Mrs. Rich just grunted and rolled her hoof along, signalling that things were about to start. “O-oh, erm… Sorry.” Fluttershy gave you a sheepish smile, and just waved as she went to join Discord. “I’ll be watching from right over there. I love you, Anon, it really is good to see you again.”
You couldn’t help but smile. Goddamn, you missed her. Her unconditional love for you really made you feel like a trillion bits. There was no other pony you could think of that was capable of the motherly affection Fluttershy was capable of, and that alone could pierce any melancholy within your heart. “I love you too, Aunt Fluttershy.” You say as you wave back to her.
And with that, music started to play all around city hall…
Ah damn, AH DAMN! You weren’t super prepared for this, but if you faltered now, with all eyes on you, you’d cause a huge problem indeed. You could see your friends excited for what was coming, Fluttershy actually leaning her head on Discord as a sense of pride and love filled her heart. Mrs. Rich just looked on, silent, and with approval. But then there was Starlight, she just wouldn’t stop with that glare, even if she was trying to fake having joy for the event. You looked to Scootaloo, who just whispered to you “Don’t be nervous, Anon, it’ll be ok, it’s not like Chrysalis is gonna jump out or anything”. You knew she was just trying to help, but oy, she might as well had been a fortune teller considering she predicted it from before. Mayor Mare was also prepping herself, it seemed, as she silently read from a paper. You could barely hear her as she spoke to herself, but it seemed to be a script of some sort. Of course it would be, this wasn’t a real wedding after all, so it’d be obvious there’d be some changes. Ok, Anon, just stand straight, stay steady, you got this!
Then you noticed the front doors began to open with a bright light. Silver Spoon stepped in with a white, soft purple dress, very common looking, with little grey ribbons where the shoulders were. She was spreading flower petals around happily until she reached the stage, and stepped off to the right to await Diamond.
Then there she was, stepping side by side with her father. Little Diamond Tiara, stepping forward in a snow white dress that flowed nearly to the ground, her headdress having a veil that barely covered her face, with white flowers adorned on it. She looked like she was just doing her best to contain her giddiness, yet slightly looking away shyly when you looked at her. It was all so… Super adorable. Mr. Rich just stepped along silently beside her, looking like the proudest father that ever existed. When they got to the stage, he went to join his wife, in which surprisingly, she got rather affectionate by leaning against him, it was rather soothing to the heart to see her like this, you kind of wished she could be like that all the time. Diamond herself stepped up next to you, yet she had a hard time just looking at you, or up at Mayor Mare, blushing deeply as if this was truly the big moment. You wanted to tell her something now, but then it could ruin the moment. You decide to show Diamond a warming smile when she does take a peek at you. Oh man, you could feel it, your heart was actually thumping. All eyes on you, at an event such as this, and it just made her so happy and blushy that she didn’t seem to know what to do, and you were just ok with it. If she really wanted to change, and be a partner to you, then it would all be fine. It just meant that you yourself would have to take it, and her, seriously.
Mayor Mare took the two of you being side by side as her cue to speak, she cleared her throat, took one last look of the paper, and began to speak, the music dying down as she does. “Fillies and gentlecolts, we welcome you to a very special event. Today, we bear witness to a ceremony that will mark these two young foals eternal bonds for the rest of their lives. Although this is not an official matrimony, it can be expected to be one of a spiritual nature. Love is a surprising feeling, as it not only transcends time, but also the boundaries we ponies all see within our minds. A wonderful feeling that binds family and friends together, allowing us all to live together in harmony, and allows us to act when needed to protect those we hold dear in our heart. It's something, I think, these two have proven when it comes to loving one another, protecting each other even when things looked most grim. And now for the moment we all have waited for, the heart melting and... Hmmm... exceedingly glamorous moment when these two proclaim their vows to one another, and with a symbol love, strengthen that chain of love to unbreakable levels…” Mayor Mare took a breath. In some way, it looked like she found whatever she was saying a tad corny, but she also looked quite touched from the sweetness of it all, especially when she looked to the two of you. “Now then, Anon, Diamond Tiara, it is time for your vows. Erm… Ahrm, 'vow' you have to say to each other. Diamond, if you may, you first please.”
Diamond looked up at you, shyly, nearly speechless at first. She was shaking, nervous, possibly afraid of how you’d react to what she had to say. She just looked adorable to you, flustered, you just wanted to give her a hug now to show her it was alright. But you just stood there, giving her a warm smile instead as you awaited her words. She looked to her parents, in which Spoiled was being very very patient, smiling even. Filthy just sitting there, with pride, tilting his head with a gentle smile to show her things were just fine. She even looked to Silver, who was behind her. Silver just raised a hoof at her with a ‘go get em’ expression, trying to boost her friend’s courage. Diamond then looked back to you, feeling a little more brave, and finally spoke her vow. “My vow is… I just want to make Anon happy, and be there for him when he needs me. I know I was never the best at that, but I’m willing to do better, and I’ll put him before myself too. I want to be his partner now, and I’ll be his wife when we grow up. I’ll be ready for that, for sure.” Diamond just looked to you, with loving and longing eyes, truly meaning what she said.
Mayor Mare just nearly had a ‘d’awww’ moment there, nearly falling over from how adorable it all was. She cleared her throat, adjusted her glasses, then looked to you. “And Anon, your vow?”
You gulped, you remembered what Bonbon told you, but… You couldn’t just put it that simply after hearing that, your heart actually hurt both with care and with guilt. You looked to your friends… Well, Trixie sleeping again didn’t really help. You look to Starlight, who at least seemed to have softened up some, but was still clearly worried. You looked to Scootaloo, who just looked back at you with a frown, feeling as if something may have just happened. You then look to Discord… And he was actually paying attention, hell, the clones were too, all of them giving you a thumbs up. You then looked to Fluttershy… She was smiling, with tears in her eyes, actually leaning against Discord as she looked towards you like a mother witnessing the marriage of her son. Ok, Anon, it was your time to shine. If this was the relationship you were gonna stick with, then you better cement it here and now. “Diamond, I know I haven’t been the most truthful with you, or been around too much. The truth is, I always had a shred of doubt, or felt unsure about it all. But maybe it was because we were both doing this whole relationship thing wrong. So I want to be your partner. I want to know that I can share with you my secrets without it becoming some public spectacle, I want to be able to share fun times with you, and I want to be there to pick you up in even your darkest times, to be your light when things look bleak. I want our relationship to be on a foundation of trust and respect, and I want to be able to… Well, grow old with you without the torch that lights our path ever growing dim. I want to be there til the very end. That’s my vow.” Oh yeah, Anon, nailed it with that last line, real poetic. You meant it though, not only with the fact that you said it, but also the fact that you were NEVER gonna get a girl to fall this hard for you ever again. Applebloom did, yeah, but it wasn’t as deep and you kinda went with the whole “Diamond had dibs” thing. Now? You felt you could roll with it, there really was no point in letting her go now.
“O-oh, Anon! I…” Diamond just looked at you with so much love in her heart that she was about to explode and jump right into you. Well, she was, until Mayor Mare spoke up.
“W-wait! Wait! We’re not at that part yet! Ahrm, Anon still must present his token of love! You do have that, right, Anon?” Mayor Mare asked, more as a formality really, she knew you had it.
Diamond backed off adorably, just having a slight shy giggle to herself as she awaited your gift. Scootaloo, being very prompt, just stepped forward and held up the box on the frog of her hoof. “That’s my cue. Here ya go, Anon!” She tried to look as cool as possible as she presented it, even having her sunglasses lowered to add that extra flare.
“Thanks” You say as you slowly take it from her, open it, and hold it to Diamond, ready to say a cheesy line “Here you go, my love, so you’ll always know I’m close to your heart.”
She was speechless as she slowly took the locket and opened it to see a picture of herself and you, looking happy together within the heart shaped confines of the locket. She closes it, puts it upon herself, and just looks at you, lovestruck. “I-I’ll a-always keep it c-c-close to my heart.”
“There we are. Ahrm, you may now kis- Oh wait…” Mayor Mare looked to the paper, and corrected herself. Seems there was no deep loving kiss to be had among foals. “Cuddle the bride”
Diamond took that as a sign to just rush up to you and nuzzle her head against yours, the room filling up with the clapping stomps of ponies, Mayor Mare just gazing upon you both with a smile as a tear runs down her cheek. Silver was ecstatic about it, stomping along with everyone. Scootaloo too was filled with joy, happy to see everything work out alright, ignorant of the events that transpired before. Fluttershy was hugging against Discord, hardly able to contain herself with such a sweet moment. And speaking of contain, Spoiled was crying, publicly, in the legs of her husband. Though she was still able to give a death glare to the newsponies whenever they even looked like they were going to write about it. There was also a camera pony who took a snapshot of both you and Diamond, probably hired to make printouts for everyone who wanted a picture of the ‘darling couple’. Lyra and Bonbon were there too, just smiling on, excited to see you so happy and content. Hell, Lyra was practically springing up and down about it as Bonbon tried to calm her down.
Diamond, as she nuzzled you, began to softly whisper to you “I wish this could last forever, Anon. I wish, even though it really isn’t much, that this was the real wedding. We don’t need expensive things to make it great, we only need each other.”
“Yeah… Only makes me look forward to the future even more. Diamond, I have a surprise for you when the wedding is officially done, alright?” Man, the way she was just cuddling into you, kind of made you want to go to the resort ASAP. Y’know, for a little rest and relaxation. And yes, making her happy too, that is pretty important. And nothing else... Nothing else... nothing perverted
“A s-surprise?” She stops nuzzling you to look into your eyes with adoration and genuine curiousness. Though, there was a hint of hesitance as well. “Anon… You didn’t have to. I meant what I said… I want to be your partner, you don’t have to treat me super special anymore. Erm, well…” She giggles shyly “Not too super special. I-I mean, erm… I’m pretty loaded, y’know? I know your dad gives you a lot of bits and stuff, but… Y’know, you don’t need to spend it on me.”
“Well, that’s good then.” You give her a tricky sort of grin “Because the surprise was free. But like I said, I’ll get into it when we’re alone, alright?”
“A-alright…” She went back to nuzzling you. You could tell she enjoyed the affection as much as you did. “If it really was no trouble, then I’m super looking forward to it.”
With the wedding about over, some of the ponies began to leave, some quietly saying how efficient and adorable it all was. Scootaloo rejoined her friends asking Number Four, who was still outside, and Five to join her so she could introduce them before they go. Discord was noticeably displeased to see not only Five followed her, but also from Scootaloo grabbing Four’s attention from the front door, seems he was already getting an idea that something was up. But he also didn’t make a move, as Fluttershy tugged at his side to ask him to make some room for you. Diamond was taken by Mrs. Rich to the back of city hall to get her undressed and talk to her about how she feels about everything thus far… Or mostly just to make herself leave as she didn’t want to be caught crying any more than she already has. Mr. Rich, dragging a hesitant Starlight and a proud Number One along with him, went to speak with Mayor Mare and the newsponies to talk about what a success things were, and to give some credit to his security detail. Lyra and Bonbon, surprisingly, took their leave… Wonder why.
And you? Well, what else do you do but finally rejoin your family and see what’s up. “Aunt Fluttershy!” You squee out as you move in for a hug. “How are you! How was your trip?”
“Oh, Anon! I’ve missed you so so much! Oh, my trip? Well, my trip to the changeling hive went very well, they’re all so very nice already, they just needed help understanding a few things." Fluttershy then let out a soft little giggle "Their understanding of traditions is a little off, but they were so happy to celebrate them that I simply couldn't correct them, it just didn't seem right. As for the Breezies, they were a little tougher, but we got things worked out. How about you? How were things for you while I was gone?” Fluttershy asked, happily patting your head as she awaited your answer.
“Oh… Er…” Dammit Anon, why did you even hesitate?! “I’ve been alright, just jittery about the wedding is all. But hey, it went great and stuff!”
Suddenly, Number Three looked back on his seat, dumb as ever, and spouted “What about dat bug queen that attacked ya all smooth-like… With err, not my stuff I may or may have not accidentally given her to make me look bad all because I thought she was Number Five. I mean…” Suddenly he began to sweat “N-not like my fault I forgot he can’t talk, ain’t my fault at all.”
“It was his fault, ma’am. Instead of doing his job, he was trying to-” Number Two piped up, but was then immediately silenced as Discord grabbed both of them by the collar, his eyes suddenly flaring up. It seemed the mere mention of you in actual danger, or perhaps just the mention of Chrysalis, was enough to get to him… Oh wait, oh no… no, this is too soon. Did he just say what you think he said?
“What do you mean attacked?” Woah, Discord suddenly was super pissed and… WAIT!?! GODDAMMIT, THEY REALLY DID JUST SAID IT OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF HIM AND FLUTTERSHY! And if things get any louder, everyone in the room will know! Fuck! FUCK! THE HELL?! EVERYTHING WAS GOING OK! YOU HAD EVERYTHING PLANNED OUT! NOW SUDDENLY EVERYTHING WAS RUSHED FOR NO GOOD REASON OTHER THAN THE… Wait, so Chrysalis got the false evidence she was going to use from Three? Christ...
“A-attacked? W-when?! H-he’s just joking, r-right, Discord?” Fluttershy suddenly looked to you, suddenly shaking in fright “Anon… He’s joking, right?”
“U-umm…” You didn’t know what to say. Goddamnit, you were going to tell them, right? You were, you really were! But it couldn’t be here. Seriously, this was going too fast, even for you. Holy crap, you feel like you suddenly fast forwarded through a self told story for no reason other than the fact that someone had to be an idiot. You had no choice now but to try to play things cool and keep things private. “Please, c-can we talk in private? I… have some stuff to say.”
“Oh no…” Fluttershy nearly fell back as she began to turn white “Please tell me this isn’t happening.”
“Oh, I’m about to find out how ‘happening’ this all really is. I’ll come back for the rest later, but you two are coming back inside me.” Discord said in a low growl, preparing to snap his fingers.
“hehe, he said we were gonna come in-” Was all Three could say before his and Two’s existence were ended in an instant. Should you feel bad about that? Probably not, Two sucked for shocking you and Three was kind of annoying.
Discord’s eyes went a little wide when they disappeared as well, as if he suddenly remembered something. Indeed, something right then didn't sit well with him at all.
“Discord…? Are you alright?” Fluttershy asked, giving him a slight shake as he just stood there, silent for a moment.
“...Yes, just a tad annoyed… about a few things.” Discord looks back at Scootaloo and the gang as they happily spoke to Four and Five, already enjoying their company. “But before that, I’ll indulge Anon in making this a private matter between us.” Discord was being pretty serious about all this, as if possessed by a fatherly rage within him. Before anything more could be said, he raises his talons one more time, and snaps, causing everything to go dark around you.
Man, everything went to shit so fast. Thank you retarded and uninteresting Discord clones, for making your life a sudden scary hell. Practically plot devices if this was a written story.
When everything lit back up, you found yourself sitting in some sort of study, filled with books, a large portrait of Discord hanging on a wall, and a fireplace giving everything a comfy glow. Both you and Fluttershy were sitting on two huge red padded seats as Discord leaned against the side of the fireplace, smoking a bubble pipe. “Well, seems things really have escalated quickly, haven’t they?”
“D-Discord? What’s going on?” Fluttershy looked around, nervous, nearly frightened. “T-this is all so much, so fast. Please tell me I misheard things…” Fluttershy looked to you, with a heavy frown on her face “Anon, were you really attacked? You weren’t, right? That clone was just being silly… Right?”
Discord looked to you, and took a puff of his pipe as a large bubble inflated and then popped. “How about it, Anon. Was he being silly?”
Well, since the cat’s out of the bag for sure, what reason did you have to worry now? Discord seemed to be keeping it between the three of you, which meant you got to deal with everything else later. In that sense, your only worry is Fluttershy’s reaction. You take a breath, and nod. “Yeah, it’s true. I was planning to tell everypony individually, but… Well, here we are. Let me just say though, there’s more to the story than just that. Otherwise I’d be hurt, right?”
Fluttershy let out a small murmur to herself, worried even further as she tried to think of something to say to that. Yes, she could see you were ok, but she was trying to figure out as to why that is if only because she didn’t think Chrysalis would show any kind of mercy.
“Very true, which means two things. You either used your horn properly and squished her like the bug she is, or you both talked it out. Given what I already know, it can’t be the former. Which brings me to the most important part of this little chat.” Discord said as he stepped to the front of the fireplace, arms to his back as he looked at the both of you with a serious expression.
“And… What’s that?” You ask with caution.
“Simple… Why am I going to be friends with a filly? Seriously?! Were my clones so rushed and imperfect that they began to make friends on their own?! I already have you, Fluttershy, Spike, Smooze, Big Mac… Others… Why do I suddenly need more?” Discord complained as he threw his arms up in defiance.
“Discord…” Fluttershy said with a soft voice, smiling at him just a little “Why are you worried about that? There’s nothing wrong with… Wait.” Fluttershy realized, right then, that the actual important matter was derailed, causing her to enter a somewhat motherly rage as she flew up with a demanding demeanor. “Discord! That’s not important right now! What about the fact Anon was attacked! We still don’t know anything about it!”
“...I mean, he’s obviously fine an-Guh!” Discord steps back, suddenly in a state of worry as Fluttershy hovers right towards his face and stares him down.
“Stop right now, and worry about your son… Or I’m skipping tea. I mean it, I’ll skip it and spend my time with Twilight preparing for school tomorrow, do you understand?” Fluttershy threatened. Not a real threat really, but a heart sinker for a guy like Discord.
“Right, ok.” Discord gulped as he backed up, then looked to you more calmly, still nervous about her threat.”So then, Anon, elaborate on what happened… Please?”
Fluttershy landed beside Discord, took a breath, and suddenly went back to a worried state “Please be truthful, Anon. We can’t help if you lie to us. If she hurt you in anyway, we need to know.”
Ok, Anon… Go for it. “Well, Dad wasn’t wrong about the fact we talked. And uh, Three wasn’t wrong about her trying to end me. Look, let me just explain it…” And so you did, about everything. The talk, your plan, your foundation, everything. Well, everything but the getting shocked part. You could tell Fluttershy had a bunch of questions. But Discord? Well, if what Four said was true… “And that’s what happened. I know it sounds bad, but I think I got a hoofhold on it this time. C’mon Aunt Fluttershy, you understand, right? She’s suffering, she’s lonely, she even asked about Diamond, asking what she thought of her. I’m sure if I had mentioned you, she’d have something to say too. She’s close to being how she was in that other Equestria, I just need to find a way to get her to see that being evil is not the way. I have the situation under control, but I need help from everypony else to show her she can be forgiven. I mean, Stygian got that chance. Dad, you got that chance. Even Luna did… So why not her? We already know from her children that it’s possible. Look, if you’re worried I’ll fumble like before, then don’t. I won’t be ignorant about it, and I won’t let her control me. All I ask is an attempt, that’s all.”
Fluttershy just sat there, silently, the only thing being heard was the calming crackle of the fire from the fireplace. She contemplated your words deeply. She was upset that you were attacked at, but also surprised Chrysalis could be easily swayed from an act of horrid vengeance. Given she just came from talking to the changelings, she knew first hand how kindly and loving they had become. It still filled her with some rage that you were attacked, but then that same rage could be applied as vengeance if you really were hurt, a vengeance that Chrysalis must have felt when it came to her children. She was so conflicted. Part of her just wanted to see Chrysalis gone, but her kindly side, her loving side, she remembered her sisterly form and how caring she seemed, and she compared it to the fact that Chrysalis did help you save another Equestria. If there was a chance to help her, she couldn’t go against her nature to not take that chance. But it was a chance about one of Equestria’s biggest enemies. So instead of thinking on it further, she looks to Discord. “Discord… Do you think there might be a chance to help her? I can’t imagine how horrible it must feel to lose your children like that. But if Anon has seen she could change, and her children can change, then do you think it might be possible?”
Discord turned his back on the both of you, looking into the flames as he spoke near ominously. “That’s the golden question, isn’t it? True, having her as my guest did have a profound effect on her if she was able to befriend Anon. But she’s still a bearer of a black heart. Can she reform? And even if she can, is Anon the right pony for the job? Who knows?” Discord said with a shrug before turning around with a swarmy smile “But hey, knowing the four princesses will be in the know will be worth a hearty chuckle out of me. Seeing Twilight’s face when she finds out about it will be spectacular! Not to mention getting to see Celestia have a spaz all her own.”
“Discord! This is serious! How could you even think of something so rotten at a time like this?!” Fluttershy blurted out, rather angrily.
“Ahrm…” Discord stepped back a tad, rather stunned from her outburst, becoming sheepish in his next set of words. “Erm… What I mean is, with the princesses in the know, and the few others Anon plans to tell, there'd be a circle of protection between all of us. Besides, he wouldn’t be looking for trouble this time, he’d merely be making his move when she reveals herself. I personally know the feeling of loneliness, or the realization of it anyway. And given she herself is a mother without her children, I’d wager it wouldn’t be long until she wished she had at least somepony to be friendly with, perhaps to even help her see what they see. That is what I think, Fluttershy. Of course, I won’t make the decision to allow it without your say so.”
Fluttershy’s ears folded down, her tail drooping as she tried to figure it out in her head. She was somewhat moved by the fact Discord seemed to have an understanding, but it still worried her so. “I really can’t imagine how lonely that really must feel… But looking at it like that, I think we’d be monsters ourselves if we didn’t try something. If what Anon really said is true, she’s hurting very very much. But it’s so scary still. There’s so many things that can happen, both good and bad. She could change, or she could just be lie about it to try to get something out of Anon… Like his horn.” Fluttershy slowly looked to you, near shaking in worry. “Anon, even if you’re from another world, you’re still a foal. This is a lot of responsibility, and the only reason I’m even considering it is because you plan to tell the princesses, and because it does seem rather awful to feel so alone. But before I make my decision, I have to ask… Do you really believe what you think?”
You did, the fact she backed off from murdering you or forcing you to give up the horn upon her exit proved that. You nod, and look at Fluttershy with determination in your heart. “I do, and I finally have the foundation to work off from. And if I can get everypony’s support, then I really think I can make it all work. Heck, if it’ll make you feel better, Aunt Fluttershy, I promise not to hesitate to defend myself in case anything goes wrong. But with all the princesses willing to help, how could Chrysalis not see that reforming would be helpful for her? Right? That makes sense… Right?”
Fluttershy grew silent once more, and contemplated for only a couple of moments before saying, mostly to herself. “Well, if it’ll really be that secure, and if she really does care. Mngh, I’m still so worried, but… If we didn’t even try to help her now that she needs it, then it’s very possible she’d never have another chance like this to see that evil is wrong.” Fluttershy grows silent once again after that, then finally looks to you with a worried nod “Ok, I guess we can try. But all the princesses have to know. Anon, I want you to follow through on that, and I want to know they're ok with it, alright? I’ll stand behind you one hundred percent if I at least know you’ll have the maximum amount of safety and caution when it comes to helping her. Otherwise… Well, your safety is more important to me.”
“Well, if Fluttershy is in, then I’m in for sure. But must you give the princesses so much credit? Really, Fluttershy…” Discord starts to flex increasingly enlarging muscles, posing to show off his artificial macho physique. “I’m more than enough protection for Anon. And even then, Chryssie lacks a home base and an army, she’s also without much of a food source. It’d be rather silly to even think she’s a credible threat at this point.”
“Discord, I know you’re very powerful, but I just want to make sure everything is as secure as it can be. Remember, we’re also going to be opening a school tomorrow, meaning students from all across Equestria can be at risk. Twilight and the other princesses need to be in the know to make sure not just Anon, but everypony is safe. Do you understand now? I’m not undermining you, I just really want everypony to be as safe as possible.” Fluttershy says, finally giving in to the plan. “It might even be hard to convince Twilight, but I’ll help convince her if I have to. But again, I want her ok before we do anything else. So if she says no… Then it’s no.”
“Understood, Aunt Fluttershy… Thanks for understanding, I promise to tell her right away after I wrap up everything at Town Hall. Which erm, Dad, that reminds me, you gotta let your fourth and fifth clone say goodbye to Scootaloo, alright?” You mention this now for one reason. You wanted to make sure Scootaloo got that goodbye, and you knew Fluttershy would assert herself on Discord if he resisted.
“Ugggggggggggh!” Discord grabbed onto his own head and shook it in disdain. “Soooo troublesome, why do I even need her as a friend?! It’s pointless!” Discord then began to wave his talon at Fluttershy “You understand, right, Fluttershy? And if not, can we go back to Chryssi then? I’d rather discuss her and how we should punish Anon for even having such an idea to help her, it's all so futile.”
Fluttershy at first, was rather confused. In truth, she was just trying to piece together Discord’s reluctance, and when she finally did, she just looked at him with a smile and waved her hoof back at him. “Sorry Discord, you already said you agreed to help before, you can't just flip it because you don't want to make friends. And besides, I know deep in my heart that if the changelings can be good, then she can be too, and that’s that. I m-mean…” Fluttershy suddenly began to feel conflicted and nervous again “It should work, right? I admit, part of me just wants it all to go away. I’m scared of somepony getting hurt. But...” Fluttershy puts a hoof to her heart, as if there was a sting to it “I know if I really lost my friends, you, or Anon… I… It really would be the worst feeling I could ever feel. I think it's that kind of feeling that might be hurting her too.”
“Yes, very very hurtful. And, oh no! Look at the time! Seems I need to be going to see my good friend Spike about tonight’s game of-” Discord, looking at his right arm that was suddenly covered in watches, tried to immediately vacate the study, but was too late when Fluttershy looked back up at him to continue what she was saying.
“And, Discord, you have to do something about Scootaloo. You know what I mean…” Fluttershy said, pointing at him again.
Wut? “What does she mean?”
“She means that I need to play it straight. We both know I can’t just suggest to keep the clones around forever, that simply won't work” Discord explained. He was right though. You remembered the time he had turned the X-Captain into a chair back when he was just a normal changeling, he just eventually changed back to normal. Chaotic constructs can’t remain in a harmonic world for too long without continual influence or a connection, such as the link between your own chaotic nature, the horn, and Discord. Not to mention Discord himself nearly killed himself when trying to be normal. In that sense, friendship, even if they wanted it, probably wouldn’t help a chaotic construct last long. So it made sense, he had to accept his fate. “But really, Scootaloo? I already know when it comes to any of them that having one as a friend means you get the whole package. I’m telling you, Fluttershy, it’s utterly beneath me! I refuse to make friends with foals. They are too young to understand and appreciate my exquisite and advanced way of thinking”
Fluttershy, this time, conjured up an adorably sly smile, and stared right at him. “And yet you’re friends with a baby dragon.”
Discord’s eye twitched when she said that, he was also quite silent upon that mention.
Fluttershy just let out a lighthearted giggle “You’ll be fine, Discord, it doesn’t hurt to have a few more friends. Just let her have her goodbyes first, alright? And please, be polite, I know you can if you really try.”
“I… Suppose. Can we at least have some tea first? It’ll help settle my nerves.” Discord asked, with pleading eyes.
“Ok, I wouldn’t mind a little tea myself. I’m still trying to get the jitters out, and I’m still tired from the trip. Mmmm, Anon, would you like to join us?” Fluttershy asked you.
You’d really love to, but you do have some shit to do, really important shit. You still have to deal with Starlight after all, and you couldn’t leave Diamond hanging. “Nah, I got some stuff to do right now. Can’t leave Diamond hanging, I got tickets for us to go to a resort for a couple days. I mean, that’s alright with you if I go, right, Aunt Fluttershy?”
“Oh my, now that just sounds adorable and most of all, safe, since there will be so many ponies around. It’s like a little honeymoon. Isn’t that adorable, Discord?” Fluttershy looked to him to see his approval.
But Discord didn’t seem approving, he seemed stunned for a moment, and already looked like he was scheming before suddenly smiling towards Fluttershy and saying “It sounds very pleasant. A shame though. With both you and Big Mac away, Spike and I will have nopony to play O&O with.” And that's all he really said, he didn't follow it up with anything else.
It was odd that he didn’t try to go further with that, or try to pull some sort of sympathy his way. He simply just stated a fact, and it made you only somewhat suspicious. “Well, y’know, I’m not super big on the game anyway. Maybe Scootaloo will take my place. You don’t mind asking her, right?”
“Nope, in fact, I now plan to do that after tea.” Discord snaps his talons, as a table with a tea set suddenly appears between him and Fluttershy. “Which, if Fluttershy doesn’t mind, I wish to have in this study. It calms me so…”
“Oh, I don’t mind. I think the light from the fireplace makes the whole place feel homey. But Anon is right, you should ask Scootaloo, it’d be a good way to ease into the friendship.” Fluttershy said as she began to gently pet the now living tea pot. “So cute.”
“Yes…” Discord then looked to you and waved “As for you, Anon. Take care, and may I ask, make sure Scootaloo nor the clones leave town hall. I won’t be long and I’d just like everypony to be in one place when I do my thing.”
“Right, I guess I can do that. Anyway, bye Dad, bye Aunt Fluttershy. Enjoy your tea time! And… Well…” Your ears began to fold as you began to feel some guilt over Fluttershy feeling upset “I hope I didn’t worry you too much. I know what I’m asking is a lot, and considering what happened last time, why you’d doubt me.”
Fluttershy’s cheery mood waned to those words. She got off her chair and walked over to you, giving you a gentle hug as she gave you very soft headpats. “It’s alright, you didn’t worry me. I’m just a little scared, that’s all. But I don’t doubt you. Everything you said sounds like she’s just a hurt mother who only wants her children back. And I feel we can help her and reform her to be a better changeling. But just remember Anon, you need to tell the truth too. No lies, ok? It's the only way to make things work, we all need to be honest with each other.” Well, that was sudden. Then again, she probably just thought of it just now, and wanted to say it to you. You only guessed it could be true, anyone hiding their feelings or lying during a time like this could cause issues.
“No lies, I promise Aunt Fluttershy.” You say, hugging onto her tightly “I love you.”
“I love you too, and I hope you have a good time with your little vacation. I’ll be waiting to hear about it when you get back, ok?” She said
“Ok.” You say back.
“...And don’t do anything naughty.” Discord looks to you, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Naughty? What do you mean by that, Discord?” Fluttershy looked back at him, confused. “Anon is a good colt, you know that.”
GODDAMMIT, YOU KNEW WHAT HE MEANT. “U-uh, yep, I am. And I will continue to be. I… Uh, can I go now?” Dammit, please, let him just poof you back, you didn’t need to be teased in this way.
“Yes, yes, if you insist. See you soon, Anon.” Discord said with a snap of his talons, teleporting you away in an instant.
Anon, you lucky fuck. If it wasn't for Fluttershy interacting with changelings, and the fact she had developed a motherly empathy in such a way, she would have said no. Only problem now was the princesses. In truth, they could be more trouble than helpful, but you needed them to accept it so other ponies would follow suit.
When you reappeared back in Town Hall, or what you thought was Town Hall, you actually found yourself in a rather warped version of Ponyville. Actually, it looked like when Discord took it over back in season 2. The hell was all this?! “Da fuck? Is this a joke?” You asked yourself aloud as you looked upon the upside down Town Hall that floated over you. The grass was all checkerboard, the day and night cycles were rapidly changing, and all the other cottages and houses were topsy turvy. “What the hell happened while I was gone?”. Things were so surreal, were you dreaming, or were you in some sort of pocket space? You could just assume Discord did something assholish just because he was ticked he had to make friends with Scootaloo, but why send you here?
“C’mon, this is so fUUCKKAAAAHH!” When you took a step forward, you also somehow forgot that the road below you was made of slippery soap, at least when it pertained back to Season 2. You try to keep your balance, but all you do is slip and slide around the chaotic touched town until you end up slipping on your face and sliding forward a some yards into the center of town.
After a few moments, you end up slamming your head into something hard, making you come to a complete stop. While your head was certainly fine from such a smash, you found your mouth literally washed out with soap, its nasty and cleansing taste causing you to raise your head and spit up profusely. “OH GOD! IT TASTES LIKE TURD SOCKS! IT’S SOAP! HOW DOES IT EVEN TASTE LIKE THAT?!” You screamed to yourself as you spit and sputtered to get the gross taste off your tongue.
As you sat there, rubbing your tongue with your hooves, you began to notice both a hooven leg and a dragon like one attached to a long torso. In fact, as you looked up, you saw Discord sitting on the same throne he had in Season 2. Or rather, it was Discord’s clone, number Five, sitting upon the throne, looking upon you with a slick smile. Why was he smiling like that? Why did he have a throne? Unless…
OH SHIT! HE WENT ROGUE AND SUDDENLY TOOK OVER PONYVILLE! Why would he do this? No seriously, why? You had no clue since the fucker never talked, but whatever it was, this was going too far. You hopped back to prepare yourself for combat, only to slip back onto the road and slide backwards on your belly, screaming as you span like a top back across the road until you slammed onto a wall on the side of a twisted building. “G-guh… Dammit, good thing nopony is looking at me right now…”
“Actually, Anon, we kinda totally saw you right now. And uh, listen bro, not to sound like a jerk, but that was pretty funny.” You heard the voice of a familiar young dragon speaking to you some laughter following.
Wha? When you raised your head, you could see Spike, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Babs, and Trixie sitting on chairs, facing the direction of Five’s throne as if they were watching a show. “Huh, wha?! What’s going on?! And what do you mean funny?! Don’t you see one of my dad’s clone just went on a power trip?”
“Yes, Anon…” Trixie said said with an impatient sigh “It’s part of the show. Not as good as any of Trixie’s shows mind you, but decently entertaining.”
Show? Decently entertaining?! Fuck her! You didn’t know what was going on, but you knew the wedding, especially your vow, was more entertaining than the fall of Equestria, or her stupid magic shows. The fuck was she on?! The fuck any of them were on?! “First of all, that’s factually wrong. Second of all, you slept through my fake wedding! Which, by the way, was better than an entire town BEING TWISTED INTO CHAOS!”
“Factually wrong?!” Trixie hopped off her chair and stepped up to you in an imposing manner “I’ll have you know that Trixie’s shows are as amazing as they are powerful! In addition…” Trixie faltered a little as she came to the realization that she did, in fact, sleep through your wedding. It filled her with guilt as she realized her second point wasn't so pointy. “I am sorry about that. Well, actually… I am sorry if you’ll be sorry about what you just said, about these two whatever clones’ play on when Discord was defeated by Twilight and her friends being better than my magnificent shows.”
Really? She’ll only apologize if you will? What kind of logic was that?! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE TOWN… Wait, what did she say? “Wait, a show on my dad’s defeat?” You look back to see Number Four, dressed as Twilight, and a bunch of puppets representing the rest of the five, step up to face off against Five. “This is a reenactment thing? Wha? Why?”
“I can answer that.” Sweetie Belle chimed in “Babs got curious as to why Discord lost in the first place, since he’s super powerful and stuff, it didn’t make sense to her.”
“Of course it doesn’t make sense. Nothing involving Twilight ever makes sense. Yes, she may be a good friend, but I swear she cheats at using magic sometimes. You all have noticed that, right?” Trixie says, calmed, sitting back on her seat as she looks on unimpressed. “Sometimes things seem to work for her for no good reason.”
“That’s because Twilight is actually really amazing at magic, Trixie. She’s studied and trained really hard to be as good as she is. You can’t just think you’re the best and then be the best, it doesn’t work like that. Also, you really should apologize to Anon. Sleeping through his wedding wasn’t cool, he has a pretty good reason to be mad at you.” Spike said, coming to your defense.
“Guh… Hmmm… I suppose that might be a reason. And…” Trixie sighs, and looks to you with a defeated yet softened look, her arrogance cut. “And I suppose that, perhaps, that was very rude of me. I’m sorry, I just… I was just very tired. And…” She takes a bigger breath, finding her next words difficult to muster “I guess, considering how everypony else reacted, that it was a wedding worth watching. I regret missing it. Is that, erm, enough an apology?” You could tell that she quickly realized that sleeping through a wedding, even a fake one, was fucking rude.
“Yeah…” You could be really mean, and point out she was still being an asshole by trying to ask if she was forgiven. But the fact she was right about Twilight pulling out some bullshit wins, and that she was tired as fuck to begin with, in addition with not wanting to cause a scene with anyone else, made you just take it as is. “It’s ok, Trixie. Just be more mindful, I guess.”
“Don’t wanna sound like a butt over here, but if you’re all through with the apologies, maybe we can all focus on the fact that things are about to get tossed. There’s gonna be a real bad rumble if this whole thing is as close to the real fight as possible. I don’t wanna miss a single buck!” Babs said in impatience and excitement, wanting to see the carnage that was about to commence between Four and Five.
Calmed, you just decide to sit down next to Spike and watch the show. Though you found it rather puzzling, you didn’t remember there being a slugfest or anything. No, that didn’t happen at all. Even in this ongoing reenactment, Four and the puppets just said the same lines Twilight once said as Five sat there boredly. And just like before, a rainbow shot up from the false elements and came down right upon Five, turning him to stone. “And so, with Discord’s defeat, Ponyville returned to its peaceful state once again. Returned to harmony thanks to Twilight and her friends.” Said Four in a narration that filled the air. Odd though, everything was still weird.
You leaned over to Spike and whispered "What gives, everything is still weird."
Spike just whispered back "Probably a budget thing."
Ok then...
Babs just sat there, stunned for a few moments. Finally, she threw out her hooves in discontent “Woah woah woah, are you kiddin’ me?! Where was the fight?! He just stood there and took a rainbow beam to the face! That’s now how it really happened, right?” Babs asked, massively disappointed with the results of said ‘fight’.
“Trixie only somewhat takes things back in the sense Trixie knows her shows were much better than that.” Trixie said, also quite befuddled on what happened.
“That’s really how it happened? I dunno, Discord always seemed like he was much smarter than that. Ah mean, how did he not notice Rainbow Dash was back with everypony else?” Applebloom asked, she herself confused on what happened. “Was he just dumb when he was a bad guy? Would explain the whole Tirek thing. Still, you'd think he notice his spell was broken.”
“I’m more confused on why he stood there. You don’t need to have reflexes like Rainbow Dash to dodge a Rainbow moving that slow.” Scootaloo too, was astonished on how bad Discord performed. “Did he not realize he could have won if he just, like, snapped his talons or whatever? Spike, you were there, did it really happen like that?”
“Pretty much. Discord is a great guy and all, but once he’s got something going, he doesn’t really know when it actually stops.” Spike answered “I mean, that’s not always a bad thing, as long as it has nothing to do with one of his mean jokes. When it has something to do with something great, like O&O, he turns it into something really amazing!”
You were kind of torn on this little debate. Discord could be an awful ass sometimes, but he could also be real cool. Really, it actually made you feel rather uncomfortable just talking to him in any negative light right now, he didn’t deserve it considering all the good he's done lately. “Yeah, Dad is super cool when he wants to be, that’s for sure. This just wasn’t one of his finer moments, that’s all. I dunno what it is about being evil, but it just makes you seem to miss things everypony else can see.”
“Does that mean he’s still evil then? Because WE can see how much he likes Fluttershy, but somehow he can't. Like, Anon, don’t you think it’d be cool to have Fluttershy as a mom?” Sweetie Belle asked, to the surprise of everyone there, causing you all to look at her with silent surprise. “What? I was just making an observation, it’s clear he really likes her.”
“Yeah, I was gonna bring that up to him at one point. But Discord can be pretty touchy about that kind of thing sometimes.” Spike said, being the least stunned from Sweetie’s words.
“Uh, don’t y’all think it's kind of weird to mention it at all? Discord is kinda scary, to be honest. I don’t think he’d be right for Fluttershy.” Applebloom mentioned, clearly not very well versed on how Discord truly cared about Fluttershy.
“Oh trust me, Dad is like a kitten when she’s around, he’ll do anything to gain her affection and praise, he just won’t admit to loving her, just liking her. Like it’s already been mentioned, Dad is cool to be around, especially once you understand how he works.” You then look to Scootaloo, knowing she’d have to figure that out in some sense “Scoots, you know what I mean by that, right?”
“Ugh… I guess. I dunno, Four and Five already mentioned why they can’t stick around, and that stinks. But I was thinking about it and I dunno if I want to be his friend. No offense to you or Spike or anything, but the guy is a jerk, and I’ve seen how he treats you sometimes. Even with Four and Five’s memories, how do I know he won’t treat me bad too?”
“Well, that depends on the kind of friend you are to him.” Said a voice that came from above all of you. You all look up to see Four and Five, back in their security costumes, as they began to hover down in front of the group. “Our originator, while loving to be himself as much as possible, does have that softer side he presents to Fluttershy. A side that only comes out due to the loving and gentle care she has for him. This is the opposite of the kind of friendship he has with Anon, as Anon himself can fully indulge in his love of chaos and can handle being duped, outwitted, or outright tricked.”
“Yeah, that sounds just ab- Hey! That doesn’t even happen! Dad rarely, if ever, gets the drop on me!” You barked back, not wanting to be made the fool. Though, it seems the group caught on to the fact it may be true, and had a small giggle over it.
“Well, I suppose that depends on how you define ‘rare’. Ah, but I can already see you getting more flustered, Anon, so let us change subjects. What did you think of the performance?” Four asked.
Four was right, you were indeed getting a little ticked at being made a fool. If he carried on like Discord would have, you would have… Well, you didn’t really have any dirt to spill on a clone, now did you? Ugh, sucks being the butt of the joke sometimes.
“Could have been better. With such a boring ending, Trixie much rather would have enjoyed Twilight suffer some sort of curse or something. You don't need to stick to a script all the time” Trixie stated, which actually seemed to get Spike a little upset.
“Yo, Trixie, what’s your problem with Twilight? She saved you from being controlled by some stupid amulet, you know that right? Also, if she did lose, Discord probably would have turned you into a pony-in-a-box.” Spike said, looking to Trixie with annoyance over her comment.
“A pony-in-a-box?” Trixie has a chuckle at that “Puuhhhlleeease, the Great and Powerful Trixie would not have succumbed to such a weak curse. I simply would have-” But no one was having any of that shit as you all furrowed your brows at her, causing her to get nervous. “Ok, fine, look, I don’t have THAT much of a problem with Twilight. I just get sick of hearing how good she is at magic and friendship all the time. I’ve made friends too, you know? There’s Anon, and Starlight, and… Uh… What are your names again?” Trixie pointed her right hoof to the CMC.
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow at her “Really? You were hanging out with us the entire show.”
“That doesn’t mean I learned any of your names. The only thing I can remember about your name is that it has two syllables. Sweaty, I think your name was...” Trixie stated
Sweetie Belle just angrily narrowed her eyes at her “It’s Sweetie, my name is Sweetie Belle.”
“That can’t be right, that has three syllables.” Trixie said as she pondered on it.
Sweetie’s eyes nearly turned red from Trixie’s naivety. She didn’t like the fact that her name was being associated with disgusting perspiration “That’s because it IS three syllables! Do you think I wouldn’t know my own name?!” She squeaked out.
“I wouldn’t be surprised. Those two colts, Snips and Snails I think, had forgotten their names once or twice.” Trixie said
Sweetie Belle’s face turned red as she rose up in the air in a fury. “YOU’RE GONNA COMPARE ME TO THEM?! WHERE DO YOU GET OFF SAYING THOSE KINDS OF THINGS?! HOW DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THEIR NAMES, BUT NOT MINE?!”
“I was merely speaking out of experience. It’s not as if that kind of thing doesn’t happe-GYAH!” Trixie suddenly finds herself falling back onto the ground, Sweetie Belle releasing a flying karate kick onto her face fueled by her own rage, catching everyone off guard.
“W-woah, Sweetie Belle. I uh…” Scootaloo went to check on Trixie, who was knocked out cold by Sweetie’s attack. “I think you knocked her out. Where did you even learn to do that? And uh…” Scootaloo noticed Trixie was muttering out nonsensical magic words or words implying she was trying to impress her father in some way “She gonna be alright?”
Five leaned down and raised Trixie by the back, placing his paw on her chest to check her heartbeat. After seeing it was fine, he gave a thumbs up to Four, with Four responding with “Seems she’ll be alright, just a physical hit to the face damaged her ego enough to knock her out for a spell, that's all.”
“Well, she deserved it, I think she was doing it on purpose!” Sweetie replied as she took deep breaths, trying to relax herself after such a high flying kick.
“I mean, maybe, ya still shouldn’t have done that.” Applebloom said as she looked over to the fallen mare, feeling kind of bad she got kicked so hard by such a dainty foal.
“I’m with Scootaloo though, how’d ya manage such a blockbusting kick?” Babs asked, perplexed by Sweetie’s show of finesse.
“Rarity kind of taught it to me. She said a lady needs to know how to defend herself against ‘uncouth barbarians’ and that sometimes we can’t be afraid to get our hooves dirty. I mean, I’m not afraid of getting them dirty anyway, so it was pretty easy and…” When Sweetie looked down to see what she had actually done, she did start to feel bad that she had knocked Trixie out so easily in a single kick “Oh boy, I guess I kind of overdid it, though…”
“Yeah, but that was still a dynamite kick. You gotta teach that to me before I go back home, might be good to try on mugs who don’t pay for their mane cuts.” Babs said, impressed by Sweetie’s handiwork.
The conversation went around like this for awhile, but you yourself didn’t have much to say. No, you actually found your attention focusing on your grand master plan. It might be a good idea to let the CMC in on it, for sure. Applebloom would be able to explain things better to Scrappy than you could, and he himself could be helpful in convincing the hive to accepting Chrysalis back once you got her changed. But the princesses had to come first, and Spike was closest to the one you’d have the most trouble with, so maybe you should talk to him about Twilight before actually confronting her.
So you do, you ask Spike if you could talk to him privately. Of course, the others got a little suspicious as to why you’d single him out. But you just explain that it’s just private guy stuff and has to do with something secret among you two. Luckily, they buy it. Spike, seeming rather curious as to why you’d ask him to speak in private, agrees to do it, and so you both head deeper into the chaotic Ponyville until you’re are standing in front of a Sugar Cube Corner that was actually just a sugar cube.
“So, what’s up, Anon? This about O&O? The friendship school? Or is it about the wedding?” Spike asked.
“Actually, it’s two things. I didn’t get the chance to ask this but, where are we exactly? I figure it’s a pocket space at this point, but where is it originating from? Also, why is Trixie here?” You said as you dared a lick on the actual cube. Huh, it actually was made of sugar.
“Some janitor’s closet. We needed some privacy since Starlight was acting really weird and asking questions about you or about, and this was super weird, our identities. It’s kinda why Trixie came with us, Starlight was making her feel uncomfortable.” Spike said, putting his claws to his hips as he took a breath “Yeeeeah, nopony didn’t want her snooping around in here coming to any crazy conclusions. No offense to her, but it was just really off putting.”
Ugh, you had to nip that one in the bud as soon as possible. She was probably going bonkers looking for you to make sure you were ok, as well as making sure none of the leaving guests were Chrysalis. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. So uh, yeah… The second thing I have to mention. It’s actually a bit of a doozy.”
“A doozy, huh? Ok, don’t mince words then. Hit me with everything you got, I can take it.” Spike said as he braced himself, as if you were going to smack him or something.
“Spike, I need you to take this seriously. I’m gonna need your help with it because I know how Twilight can be.” You tell him.
“Twilight? Oh geez, Anon, it involves Twilight? I guess this really is- Oh no…” Spike suddenly comes to a realization, as if he knew what you were going to say. “Don’t tell me it’s gotta do with ‘her’. C’mon, Anon, what are you thinking?”
“Spike, look. Yes, it is about Chrysalis. And yeah, I guess I deserve your doubt considering she didn’t reform. But, buuut, her children did reform, didn’t they? That means there is a chance, right?” C’mon, Spike. You knew he could be logical when he wanted to be.
“Yeah, sure, but it’s the fact she didn’t and that you’re still on this that worries me. Anon, look, I’ll be straight up, you should drop this right now before you end up getting hurt. Nothing has changed since she disappeared, and unless she showed up all of a sudden, then whatever you got going down is just a bad idea.” Spike, as you should have expected, was worried about you already, thinking you were chasing a dead dream. He was trying to ‘save’ you.
“Well then, it looks like you’re willing to listen then because she DID actually show up recently. As in, she showed up during the wedding.” You tell Spike in a rather nonchalant way. You had him now, he would be too curious to not hear you out at this point.
“What?! She was at the wedding?! And you knew?! And… Wait…” Spike started to realize a few things within his own surprise. “...I guess that explains why Starlight was asking those questions, guess she figured it out or you told her. And since nothing bad happened… Er… I guess this is why you wanted to talk in private. Ok, before you tell me your plan, tell me exactly what’s up with her.”
And so you do, you even mention the attempted murder, as the fact it didn’t happen should help your case that she’s willing to change to some degree. After telling your story and your plan, Spike just sits down on the ground, and ponders. “Ok, I see what you’re going for now. She’s starting to care what others think of her. I guess I can understand that when you end up alone and don’t have anypony to listen to you, that'd you start to want to be around somepony and want them to care about you. And I guess something had to have clicked in that black heart of hers too. Man, just thinking about it, it’s really heavy when you realize all your kids just decide to up and leave you. But, Anon, this is still kinda nuts. Like, did you ever think of the possibility that she could lie about reforming? And I’m talking about if it looks like your plan works. Because, considering she’s willing to… Y’know… kkssst” Spike slides his claw along his throat to signify murder “It’d be dangerous to just let her walk around.”
“It’s a risk, I know, but check this out. The Chrysalis from the other Equestria told me she changed when she lost her hive, and came to take care of a bunch of enslaved foals. It’s proof enough that it can happen and that it’d be hard for our Chrysalis to fake. We already know she’s starting some sort of change, we just need to show her that we’re willing to accept her to make it happen. I need the princesses, the elements, and a few of our friends on board to get things started. And then I can work on an actual plan to get things to happen. Heck, it could be as simple as just another talk with her. Since she doesn’t want to end me now, loneliness has to be creeping more and more on her at this point. I don’t think it’d be too long before she wants a friend to hang around with. C’mon, Spike, I’m just asking you to help me convince Twilight to accept her. Aunt Fluttershy offered, but she just doesn’t have the will to take her on like you do.”
“Woah, Fluttershy is ok with it?” Spike said, surprised that Fluttershy was willing to take this chance.
“Yeah, she and Dad already know, I told them.” You say
“Well, guess you’re already making some progress. Alllllrighty, fine, I’ll help. Can’t let you barreling in only for Twilight to shut you down without giving you a chance. I mean, she kinda has to listen since she’s the one who set up an entire school for everycreature to learn about friendship. If you ask me, she’d be a hypocrite not to consider things, y’know?” Spike gives you a sly little smirk as he says that, it seemed he had a plan to get you through the threshold of Twilight’s denial.
“You’re really willing to help me? Even though you're Twilight’s number one?” You ask, a tad skeptical.
“Look, I’m willing to help you, that’s no problem. I just expect you not to go all crazy about it. Do that and I’m hopping sides. Yeah, I know, Twilight can be pretty nutsy herself. And yeah, I know if she had her way on some circumstances like this, Discord wouldn’t be here, Starlight wouldn’t be here, and… Well… You’d be in Tartarus. Yeah, still haven’t really forgotten that. Look, Anon, I’ll be honest with you. I have given the whole changeling thing some thought. I dunno, you ever feel like destiny kinda changed at a certain point? Y’know, like you had a dream or something that made you the one, say, help reform the changelings in some way? Or at least one of them… With a really awkward song, and Princess Cadance was there… Ergh, look.” Spike shook his head to clear his mind, and then looked to you with a serious expression. “I got your back, ok? Twilight should be free in a couple of hours to finalize her plans for the first day of school. If you want, come by the castle, and we’ll talk to her together, ok?”
You nod. Fucking yes! Things were working out so far, huzzah! “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks, Spike, you’re a bro!”
“Yeah, I know. Well, everypony is probably leaving this place by now, let’s head back. You still gotta talk to Starlight. Hope she didn’t explode or something.” Spike says as he begins to walk back to the group.
“Yeah, let’s do ttTTTHHHAAAGHHHH!” You begin to trot, only to quickly slip on the soapy road once again, sliding back towards the group as soap builds up in your eyes. “AGH! IT BURRRNNSS!”
Spike, who was standing on the side of the road, just shakes his head at the shame of it. “Really hoping I’m making the right decision here.”
Chapter 73 - Starlight's Decision and One's Revolt
As Spike predicted, everyone was waiting by a door that led back into Town Hall’s rather large janitor’s closet. It was pretty roomy for a closet to be able to fit all of you and all these buckets, mops, and other cleaning supplies. Heck, the only thing wrong with this picture at this moment was the fact Trixie was on the floor, knocked out, and her tongue hanging loose. “Sheesh, is she dead?” You ask
“Nah, just knocked out. I didn’t think Trixie would get knocked out that hard; guess I’m stronger than I thought.” Sweetie Belle said, a little astonished at herself for such a feat.
“What should we do? Should we slap her or something? Anon isn’t wrong, she does look kinda… Y’know.” Scootaloo said as she poked at Trixie’s face, then jumped back slightly when her eye just blinked open then back to closed.
“No worries, young Scootaloo. With a snap of my talons.” Four snaps, causing Trixie to vanish from everyone’s sight. “She will soon find herself snug in her wagon, as if nothing ever happened.”
Spike during all this gave you a nudge, and whispered “Anon, you should get going and check on Starlight before she falls apart.”
Ahhh, right, you still had to do that. You look to everyone and wave your hoof as you back off to the door. “Well, since things are dying down, I’m gonna head out and see if anypony else needs me. I mean, the wedding just ended and all and I’m sure Diamond and maybe Starlight would want to have a chat with me.”
Everyone understood, and just cheerfully gave you a goodbye and a wave, Sweetie Belle noting that Diamond probably wanted to nag you about a honeymoon at this point and saying how dreamy it'll probably be. Well, that wasn’t something you had to worry about, the nagging anyway. If Diamond meant what she said, then things should be a lot more smooth between you and her. And besides, you’d be providing the pseudo honeymoon yourself anyway. But that wasn’t important right now, you had to go find Starlight.
“There you are, Anon! Been lookin’ everywhere for ya, son.” But as you step out into the end of the eastern hallway, you are immediately spotted by Mr. Rich, who greeted you with a warm and relieved call. You tensed for a moment, only to realize you really had nothing to fear from him.
“Mr. Rich? Oh hey, erm, looking everywhere? Didn’t realize I was gone for so long, something happen?” You ask, staying cautious. You didn’t want him to suspect anything.
“Other than your friend Starlight lookin’ like she’s gettin’ spooked by ghosts and the missus locking herself in the westward changing room, ain’t much else goin’ on.” Mr. Rich said in a rather calm manner, kinda weird given the circumstances. But then his next words kind of explain that. “Anyway, decided to hunt ya down myself so you can calm Starlight down before she starts turnin’ over the place. Don’t know what got into her, but she ain’t really willing to discuss it. Luckily for me, I knew I’d find ya quick with my business scoping knowhow, all I had to do was look down here at the… er… “ Mr. Rich looks at the label of the door you just exited, it was labeled ‘Janitor’s closet’. “What were you doin’ in there, son?”
You look back, and notice what he was talking about. You then look back at him and shrug. “Oh, erm, not much. Just wanted to see what was in there, that’s all.” Did you even need to seem shifty about this? Egh, it’d be too much to explain what really went on in there anyway.
“Uhuh…” Mr. Rich said as he stoically looked down at you, seemingly suspicious of your motives, finding it odd you'd be interested in fucking brooms of all things. He also noticed you looked cleaner, and your tux shinier, than before. “Anon, did ya wash up with the cleaning supplies in there? Because you’re looking right shiny.”
“Oh! Erm!” You look down at yourself. Huh, all that road slipping actually seemed to have had a positive effect on you after all. “Yeah, wanted to spruce myself up a bit for when I saw Diamond again. Um, is there something wrong with that, Mr. Rich?”
“Well, kind of. Y’see, Anon, good suits like them don’t usually last so long when you wash em with them kind of supplies. Trust me, I know, tried it once myself due to it being an outright emergency. All it did was cause my suit to shrink while I was still wearin’ it. Trust me, you don’t want tha-” But Mr. Rich is cut off in surprise as your suit shrinks so hard and so fast that it squeezes you harder than any hug you ever had so far, while ripping into tiny pieces along your body.
“GNNnngH!” You nearly felt your entire body compress as your let out all the air from your lungs. Even as the tux imploded into shreds, you found yourself fallen over on your side, twitching in pain.
“E-erm… Never seen it shrink that fast before. Y-you ok there, son?” Mr. Rich was perplexed and stunned from such a showing. He didn’t know if it was a trick or if you were really hurt. Given your twitching, it was definitely the latter.
Goddammit! Fuck chaos and fuck your cutie mark right now. You know your life was full of happenings, but that was just a sucker punch. Not wanting to seem the wimp however, you just slowly stand up while catching your breath. “N-no, I’m fine… H-hero Colt, remember? N-nothing can keep me down.” Your tux imploded so fast, you actually felt like you still had no air as you breathed rapidly for a few more moments.
Mr. Rich has a small hearty chuckle to himself after believing you were alright. “Had me worried there, son. Shame about the tux though, would have looked really nice on the next photo op. Speaking of which, can you meet us all back in the main hall in about fifteen minutes, Anon? Wanna do a nice family shoot for the paper since we’re gonna be on the front page of most of em, eheh” Mr. Rich says with a boastful chuckle “Gives me plenty of time to calm the missus and for you to find out what’s going wrong with yer friend. She’s back in your changing room by the way, said something about investigating somethin’. Dunno what, since the wedding went better than we thought. But whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll be able to help her with that.”
Perfect, and yet not perfect. With that photo op, you’ll be able to spring the tickets on Diamond right after, deal with Discord coming to take One, Four, and Five, and then finally you’d be able to take on Twilight! After that? Hm, you’ll probably go ask if you could sleep with Fluttershy for the night. You were going to be a wreck after Twilight, and you needed the extra comfort. Especially since your body still felt rather crushed…
You gave a shaky salute to Mr. Rich. “N-no problem, had you worried there though, huh? Yeah, you know how it is, gotta be chaotic from time to time.”
“Ah! Hah! So it was another one of yer tricks, eh? Gotta admit, thinking about it now, it is mighty funny. Bet when you got little foals of your own, that you’ll get all kinds of laughs when you show that off. Ah, Anon, ya killin’ me with how proud I am of ya. A hero, an honest colt, and a great sense of humor. I know our legacy will be in good hooves with ya, and… Oh no…” Mr. Rich started to tear up.
Ah shit, he took that a little too well. “A-are you ok, Mr. Rich?”
“Uh, yeah, just a little somethin’ in my eye. Gonna get goin’, Anon, can’t dilly dally here much longer or else them reporters will get antsy. You take care now, and don’t forget to see us in the main hall, ya hear?” Mr. Rich, in truth, didn’t want to get too emotional at the moment. Normally, he wouldn’t mind, but with having to prepare for a photo for the papers, he couldn’t let himself falter when he still had to cheer up Mrs. Rich. Hell, you kind of wanted to know what was going through her head. Was she scared? Happy? Proud? Something really did pierce her heart this day. Sadly, you had to discard such thoughts for now and just talk to Starlight.
“I hear, erm... Dad. And good luck with, erm, Mom.” You say to him, doing your best to sound cheerful, but that backfires as it nearly causes him to burst into tears.
“T-thank you, son, t-that means a lot.” Mr. Rich said as he turned around to hide his crying face, walking off in a silent sob. “Called me Dad… and called her Mom… Keep it together, Filthy, you ain’t even old enough to keel over from this yet.”
You waited there for a moment until he was gone. And once he was, you collapsed on the floor, shaking. “O-of course the d-damn tux would be dry clean o-only, n-nghhhh…” Seriously, as tough as your head was, your body could still be damned fragile at times. Fuck whoever decided to make clothes that shrunk when they got fucking wet. It may have not been intended, but fuck them anyway!
After recovering from being crushed by your own clothes, you make your way back to your dressing room to confront Starlight, who no doubt had One hanging around her. Really, he was probably gonna be non issue anyway, but the way he just praises her constantly might feed into any bias and stance she may have already taken. Still, you convinced fucking Fluttershy, so Starlight shouldn’t be too bad, especially if she held up the honor of seeing you as an equal.
When you reach the door, you could already hear voices coming from the other side. Huh, it seemed to be the voices of Starlight and One. You wondered what they were talking about, to the point that a little eavesdropping probably wouldn’t hurt the situation since you needed an edge in the coming conversation with Starlight. So you slowly move your ear towards the door and listen in.
“We’ve investigated this room a thousand times, Commander. Please, relax, allow me to massage your aching muscles.” One said, concern in his voice.
“No! We have to be absolutely sure we understand what went on here. It was clear that the knife that hit the wall was intended for Anon, but the magical residue on the floor was from a shock that matches my magical signature. Then there’s the broken perfume bottles on the floor; Knowing Anon, he probably opened a portal right there. But then what happened after? Hmmm, do you really think the Anon on the altar was Chrysalis?” Starlight asked as she presumably looked over the scene.
“Had to be, the little dunce is incapable of such moving words. Unlike you, Commander, whose word can move hundreds.” One said, being the brown noser you noticed he seemed to be back when you first saw him.
“Please don’t say that about him, One. Anon is a lot of things, but he’s not a dunce, and he can be very inspiring when he wants to be. I believe that was him, which means we have to figure out where he went off to right after that, as well as what happened to Chrysalis.” Starlight said, her tone a little desperate and melancholic. Aww, she even thinks highly of you, even when you’re not in the room, that’s sweet. But then, what the fuck was One’s problem? Was that what Discord actually thought of you? Or was the clone that independent. Either way, you should make your move now since it seemed Starlight was truly worried about you.
You slowly let yourself in, and let out in a calm and low “Starlight? Hey, Mr. Rich said you’d be in here. What’s up?”
“Anon? Anon!” Starlight said in excitement as she rushed over to you to give you a warming hug “You’re alright! I was really worried about you!”
It really felt nice to see her happy, especially after all the glares she was giving you before. “Worried? Heh, nah, you know you don’t need to be worried about- wha huh?” You are caught a little off guard when Starlight is slowly pulled away by One’s magic. One himself giving you a nasty and suspicious stare as he does so.
“Watch out, Commander… That might be her.” One said in a low and aggressive tone.
“Ugh, Really? One, will you relax? That is Anon, who else could it be?” Starlight was annoyed by One’s accusation, she was pretty sure it was you. Sheesh, another reason Starlight was better than Twilight, she could actually tell you were you.
“Test him then, ask him something only the real Anon would know.” One challenged.
“Wow, geez. Way to be a real asshole. I don’t even think Discord can be that shitty. What, you can’t use your magic to tell I’m the real deal?” You were really getting tired of his shit. How could he not tell you were the genuine article?
“Watch it…” One raised a single talon at you “I’m not as magically capable as Discord, but for the sake and safety of the Commander, I will destroy you personally if you can’t prove who you are.”
Holy shit, this was a Discord clone? The guy was unusually obsessed with Starlight. And upon further inspection of him, parts of him were subtly faded. Was it affecting his mind? Huh, that must be it then. He really is obsessed with Starlight, to the point that he’ll defend her until his end. And his end seemed to be coming pretty soon. “Ok ok, relax. Look, I can prove it without a question. Starlight’s favorite past time is flying kites, and Trixie broke her coffee machine a few days ago with a botched teleport spell. That good enough? Hmm?”
“One, just stop, ok? It’s him, there’s no way Chrysalis would have known that information. What’s gotten into you?” Starlight turned to him, giving him a stern look.
“...Sorry, Commander. I’ll allow you to carry on the interrogation, I’ll simply… Observe.” One hung back, obviously displeased with what has gone on so far.
Starlight sighed, hoping things wouldn’t get any worse. “Sorry, Anon, he’s just been a little antsy lately. Don’t know why, but that's not important right now. So, what happened here anyway? Because if you’re here, and she’s not, then I’m going to take a guess that you won the fight with, hehe, my awesome Starlight Hook. You sent her straight into Tartarus, right? Because the theory we have is that she tried to stab you with that knife in a bid for vengeance.” Well, she wasn’t wrong on that last bit. Too bad she won’t be happy about the next bit.
“Uh, not exactly. More like I subdued her, we talked, and then I let her go. Before you react, Discord, Fluttershy, and Spike already know the story, and I plan to tell the princesses. But I also wanted to tell you too, since you’re my friend and I value your opinion… Plus I kinda need your help with something when I need it.” That probably wasn’t as smooth as it could be, but how else were you supposed to start this conversation?
“Oh no, Anon, Anon…” Starlight found herself plopping on her butt as she shook her head in concern. “Please tell me you’re not doing this again. Anon, she tried to end you, and you’re going to tell me you think you can still reform her? Anon, she doesn’t want to reform, and given this attack on you, I doubt she cares about you… So why?”
“Starlight, look, I admit, I was pretty obsessive about it before. I was so obsessive that I missed obvious cues and was ignorant to what was important. If I had to admit my biggest fault about it, it was not paying attention to her brood and realizing the truth about their situation. But that truth also applies to Chrysalis herself. I mean, how could her children change but not her? Hmm? Look, after she tried to kill me…” And so you explain to her what happened afterwards in full. From her worry about what Diamond thought of her to the fact she didn’t try to kill you and take your horn after stunning you with the line of the Starlight Hook. You also explain your plan, or at least, the plan you had in your head so far.
Starlight just sat there, silent. She just sat there until finally she shook her head. “Anon, this is all really hard to digest, and I can’t believe I’m going to say it, but it actually kind of hits home with me… If she’s telling the truth.”
Woah, seriously?! HAHA! God, and you thought this was gonna be tough. Like fuck, you’re just knocking em out one by one with no problem. You had to know what the reasoning was to this. “Really? So you’re ok with the plan? What do you mean it hits home with you?”
“I didn’t say I was ok… I’m just gonna need some time to think about it. But the reason why it hits home is because… Well, y’know… I was also a megalomaniac who kind of didn’t care about the truth as long it furthered my selfish ideology…” And as she said this, she started to rub at her leg nervously “And I was willing to… Maybe, destroy the entire timeline of Equestria just to ruin Twilight and her friends’ history and life as revenge for ruining my own? Yeeeah, and then you came along and uhh… Well, you know the rest. Let’s just say I can see where this is all coming from.”
Huh… That actually makes sense to you. Should you prod to see how much she’s on your side? Yeah, you should. “Starlight, heh, then… Erm, y’know. Do you see why I need help with this then? It’s definitely not an obsession thing, I just want to give her one last chance since she’s a friend of mine. We know it can happen, we just need to find a way.”
“Anon…” Starlight sighs “I just don’t know… Look, like I said, I need some time to think about it. But just so you know, I do want to be hopeful about it, but you lack a solid plan and you still don’t seem to know how to really make it happen. It doesn’t really help my decision, but if you come up with something solid… Mnnnn. Well, maybe I can talk to Twilight about it if she’s alright with it, see if I can help you figure something out. I mean, if all else fails, you could just pretend to be gone, spread the news, and see how she reacts. That’d work for sure, if it wasn’t for the fact that she seems like the type to go on a rampage the moment she finds out it’s a lie.”
Yeeeaahhh, as interesting as it’d be to see if that’d even work on Chrysalis, her finding out the truth would probably tick her off to no end. “Yeah, that’d probably happen. Well, thanks for not giving me an outright no. But you’re right, I need to think of something solid to go with pretty soon.”
“Yeah, you really do. Because, Anon, there really is no point in making a risk without a plan. And I will say this, if you even try something without thinking it through, I’ll put a stop to it myself, ok? I don’t want to sound harsh about it, but somepony has to be there to pull you out of your own mess.” Starlight said, cementing a point that she seemed only slightly more against you than with you. You really did need to come up with something solid, or else this plan just wouldn’t work out.
“I understand, thanks for hearing me out.” You say, content with her decision.
“No problem, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” Starlight said with an optimistic grin.
Well, it seems things are still in your favor, just need to- OH SHIT! All of a sudden, you feel a magical energy grab your neck and slam you into the wall belly first, holding you in place as you choke and struggle. What in the?!
“Anon?! Anon! What’s going on?!” Starlight yelled out as she looked around the room to find out what had thrown you. An invisible creature perhaps? An earthquake?
No… It was Number One, holding his paw out towards you as he held you in place with his magic. “You little worm, I know what you’re trying to do. Convince the Commander to go along with your stupid plan? Put herself at risk for something that already failed? Well, I won’t let that happen as I tire of your nonsense…” Oh yeah, for some fucking reason, he was suddenly pissed as fuck.
“One?! What are you doing?! Let him down! NOW!” Starlight was already entering a battle position, ready to fight off the rebelling Discord clone. The fuck was his deal?!
“I will not, Commander. He doesn’t seem to understand what it is to serve under your will. In fact…” He snaps his talons, instantly trapping Starlight in chains and a gag “I think you’ll thank me for what I’m about to do. Those fools are so utterly content to fade away as a memory, but I will become eternal. Once I take Anon’s chaotic life essence, I will be able to serve you eternally, and make your will a reality!” He said, laughing an evil discordian laugh.
Holy fucking shit! Are you fucking kidding?! He’s fucking rebelling just to be forever beta to Starlight?! Well, actually, that would sound more insane to you if you didn’t realize many an MLP fan would probably kill you for that chance. Actually, wait, life essence?! OH FUCK, HE WAS GONNA KILL YOU?! Both you and Starlight struggled as he approached you, ready to rape your ass to hell.
“N-ngh, are you insane?! What’s your deal?!” You struggled to try to get your horn on your head, or at least use your Starlight Hook, which was still attached to your arm, but you just couldn’t budge from his magical grip.
“Eternity serving the Commander is my deal, and I will make it happen… By taking your essence by force.” One said in a horribly ominous way as he slipped on a surgical glove on his talons. OH FUCK, HE WAS LITERALLY GOING TO RAPE YOUR ASS TO HELL! NONONONONONO!
He was inching ever so closer, prepping his talons to pierce you in a way you swear would be worse than death. You had to think of something or else your ass was grass!
“Any last words, Anon?” One asks you, as his talons began to glow a sinister red. He looked at you with a dark and hungry gaze, ready to take what he felt was his.
SHIT! C’mon Anon! He’s a Discord clone, right? You could tell by his fading and cracking body that he was getting weaker. If you could just get your leg loose, you could zap him with the hook. But all you could do was speak, and that wasn’t gonna get you anywhere. It’s not like he’d just fall for… Oh wait, maybe he would fall for the trick everyone fucking falls for. “Uhhh, OH NO, BEHIND YOU! IT’S CHRYSALIS AGAIN!”
“Are you serious? It could be anything and I wouldn’t fall for that stupid trick. So much for Discord’s little prodigy. At least I will become a better Draconequus than him through you.” He says, unamused and undeterred by your simple trick.
SHIT! SHIT! You began to dart your eyes around. You needed something, anything. You then look to Starlight, who was still struggling in her bonds. This guy, he was obsessed with her. Would this work instead? “STARLIGHT?! STARLIGHT! YOU’RE NOT MOVING! OH GOD, THE CHAINS MUST HAVE CHOKED HER!”
“COMMANDER!” Number One said in fright as he dropped you from his magical hold to make sure Starlight was fine. She was, still struggling to get free from his bonds. “Oh… You’re fine. Ugh, don’t tell me I fell… Hmm, what’s this?” One said as he looked around his torso, you had already decided to fire the hook around him as soon as you were able.
“Ha! I knew that’d work! No matter who you are, you all always fall for the same dumb trick. As for this? Well, you’ll be in for quite a SHOCK!” Ok, you really had to stop with the puns. But whatever, you flick the switch, and send the magical electric surge through the line.
One just looks at you with a bored expression, raising an eyebrow as he began to do an unenthused clap. “Bravo, Anon, you once again made a bad move. But you were right, it was shocking. Shockingly foolish that you’d think this would work against me. Now then, give me your essence!” One raised his talons at you, preparing to steal your chaotic life force once more.
FUCKING HELL! THAT SHOULD HAVE WORKED! You just keep the line surging in a desperate attempt to finally hurt him as you try to come up with a plan. But alas, you hesitate too much as One’s talons shoot out claws directly towards… And through you. Wait, what? You looked at yourself after the flash of talons hit your eyes, yet you seemed fine. “I’m alive?”
“What?! How?! Ngh! Why isn’t this working!” One tried to fire off more of his draining magic at you, but it just wasn’t working. He then looked to himself as he realized he was falling apart at an alarming rate. “Oh no! I WAS tricked! This electricity! It’s of harmonic magic?! NO! NO! Was this your plan all along?!”
No, but let’s go with that. “You bet! Guess you didn’t know the details behind this beauty. Four and Starlight made it for me, since you were obviously too dumb to actually handle making anything. Did you forget who I was, bitch? I’m the goddamned Hero Colt!”
“Commander…” One turned to try to get some kind of help from Starlight, who she herself had found herself free thanks to his weakened form, and was now standing up to finally blast his ass herself. He didn’t notice, nor care, he just reached his paw out for her and cried for help. “Help me, Commander… I’m fading… Turn him to mush, and allow me to take his essence. Then I can make your dream come true… Pleeeasee…”
“Never. You were a good assistant, One, but you tried to hurt my friend, and for that, I’ll never forgive you!” Starlight sure was pissed, ready to deal the final blow with her magic.
“C-commannnddddeeeerrr!” One was weak, but still did his best to cry out to her. He reached for her as his body was becoming nothing but dust, his very form becoming translucent as he began to fade away.
Starlight wasted no time, the moment he got point blank, she fired a bolt of magic right at him, or rather, through him. Yes, it seems he was so far gone that her shot passed right through him and right into your face, sending you flying backwards, headfirst, into a wall. Starlight, upon realizing what she had done, gasped and sat as she put her hooves to her mouth in shock.
One merely chuckled, as he took that as the only good thing he was able to witness during his vanishing act. “Nice shot, Commander…” was his final words as he finally disappeared, the wire’s shocking effect coming to a halt due to the switch being clicked upon your fall back to the floor.
“Anon!” Starlight rushed over to you, kneeling down to make sure you were alright. “Are you hurt?! Do you need to go to the hospital?! Oh gosh! Anon! I’m so so sorry, I didn’t think that’d miss!”
You just groan, look to her, and give her a weak smile. “Nah, I’m used to being tossed, smacked, and blasted at this point. I’m good.” Ogh, not really. While your head was fine, you still felt the impact through your body. It ached, but you were sure you’d be ok.
“Anon…” Starlight gently ran her hoof through your mane as she gave a weak giggle “You’re not invincible y’know. I… I really am sorry, I really didn’t mean to hit you like that. Are you sure you’ll be ok?” She started to tear up, she really felt guilty over blasting you with her magic like that.
“C’mon, Starlight, don’t cry. I’ll be ok. You always get like this whenever I am the least bit hurt, I’m not a little kid y’know… Technically.” You say, in a silly way to reassure her.
“Right… Right… Ok then.” Starlight was taking long breaths now as she tried to get ahold of the situation “That almost happened. But why? You don’t think Four and Five are going to turn like that, right?”
“I doubt it, they seemed a lot more accepting of their fate than One did. But sheesh, I actually beat the guy… Heh…” As you laid there on the ground, you decided to give Starlight a cocky grin “Pretty genius way of beating him, right?” You felt it was a great opportunity to show her how capable you really were, even if you didn’t actually figure it’d be her unicorn magic, tied to harmony, which would cripple One.
“Yeah, I guess you, erm, really do know how to take care of yourself in a fight. Good job, Anon.” Starlight said cheerily, feeling you deserved such a compliment.
But just then, a booming voice enters the room in heroic fashion. “Fillies and gentlecolts, do not fear! For Captain Wuz is here!” Discord, the original for sure, pops into the room in a flash. He was donned in his green tunic and long platinum hair, bow drawn to shoot at whatever the fuck he was gonna shoot at “Point that pesky clone my way so I can… Oh wait…” Discord then immediately pops into his normal self as he begins to wonder what’s going on. After looking around the room, he finally comes to his conclusion “He’s already gone. So he was already defeated then? Bravo, Anon, good work.”
“Yeah, he was no match for my-wait.” He was here to slay One? Why would he be here to slay One? What the fuck did he mean by ‘so he was already defeated then?’. Did he…? GODDAMMIT! “DID YOU KNOW HE WAS GONNA DO THAT?!” You shouted, finding yourself standing up with renewed vigor.
“Of course I did, it should have been fairly obvious he was going to do such a thing. I was just waiting for him to actually do it so I could come in and save the day. And… Hmmm, you both seem rather upset about that.” Discord said, confused as to why you and Starlight suddenly looked pissed.
“HE COULD HAVE KILLED ME! HE WAS ABOUT TO KILL ME! AND YOU KNEW?! HOLY SHIT DISCORD, YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, hopping upwards with the sheer force of your own anger.
“Ohhh, tch tch.” Discord waggled his talons at you authoritatively “Such language, especially in front of your friend.”
“No, he’s right, Discord, you’re an asshole” Starlight said, looking at him with near pure agitation and discontent. She agreed with you, one hundred percent.
“Ugh…” Discord said as his eyes narrowed, his body slumping ever so slowly “I see how it is. Well, if I can say something in my defense…” Discord points over to Starlight “This whole mess is actually her fault.”
“MY FAULT?! WHAT?!” Starlight stepped back in surprise, her anger rising at such an accusation “AND HOW THE FUCK IS IT MY FAULT!?”
“Ew… Now Anon has got her doing it.” Discord said to himself before suddenly lightening up with a shrug, his tone changing to that of a calm and accusatory form. “Because you’re the one who wanted him to be utterly subservient to you. How could you not realize he was going to do anything and everything in his power to serve you for as long as you live? I didn’t want to make him that way, but you were so insistent on it. If I hadn’t made him that way, I would have just wasted more time than I already was due to your whining. Really, she’s the culprit, not me.”
Starlight’s eye twitched due to confusion for a moment, but then she looked at him, dead in the eyes, and made her case. “You did NOT tell me it would have made him attack Anon. I didn’t even ask for him to be subservient! I said to make him loyal, to make him listen to me, and to make sure he does everything I… Oh wait…” Starlight calmed down for a moment when she realized her mistake. But then pointed at Discord again as she realized her first claim still applied. “Ok, so I did ask for that! But you still didn’t tell me he was going to go crazy! That’s your fault, Discord! You should have said something. No, you should have just gotten rid of him altogether! He attacked Anon, one of your best friends, and yet you don’t even seem to care! How could you be so heartless?!”
“Heartless?” Discord opened up his chest like a door, revealing a creepy looking beating heart. “Doesn’t look like it to me” He says with a grin as he closes it up, then points over to you “Look, like I said, I was going to save Anon before he actually did the deed. But Anon himself defeated him before I could show up. To be honest, I think that deserves praise! Beating even one one millionth of my power is quite a feat. So again, bravo!” Discord said, clapping towards you.
But you just groaned and rolled your eyes, you really didn’t care for his shenanigans. “Goddammit, Discord, I don’t want your praise. Just fucking admit you fucked up. That’s the second time today I nearly fucking died and you’re acting like you don’t even care. What if I did actually die, what then? Huh? Starlight is right, you didn’t tell her what was going to happen, so it's your fucking fault.”
Discord did shudder when you mentioned that you could have died, then did his best to reel himself back from the horrid thought. “It wouldn’t have happened, only a pessimist would think that it would. And… Wait, where are you going?” Discord asked, surprised that you were suddenly opening the door to leave the room.
“Had enough of your shit, going to go to a photo shoot with the Riches.” You really did. If he acted just the least bit caring, you may have let it slide. But this? You didn’t have time for this shit.
“A photo shoot? Without me? Well hold o-hmm?" Discord looked back to see his tail being held by Starlight’s magic “Excuse me? What are you doing?”
“I’m getting your attention. Leave Anon be, you’ve done enough, and you’d only make it worse at this point if you go after him.” Starlight tells him, warning him even.
“Oh please.” Discord scoffs “Anon is practically my son, he loves me! Tell her, Anon.”
You sigh, and look back at him with a somber expression “I dunno… At this point, Mr. Rich is more my Dad than you are, at least he respects me and wouldn’t even let me come close to dying if he could help it.”
“There see? I told-wait…” Discord double taked, and looked back at you, confused “What?”
“You heard me, I’m not going to repeat myself. Just go deal with Scootaloo and stuff, Discord. Let me just go do my thing and… I dunno, whatever… Starlight, you take care, ok?” You say, looking back at her to give her a weak smile.
“Anon, are you going to… HE-” Was all Starlight could say before Discord snapped her away.
The hell?! “What the fuck?! The hell was that for, Discord?! What did you do with her?!”
“I put her back in that fake magician’s wagon. Although, I could have done a lot worse. You, Anon, how could you say such a thing to me? After all I’ve done for you, why?” Discord was angry alright. He was hurt, sure, but it only served to piss him off it seemed.
“Oh fuck off with that!” You yell back at him as you stomp up towards him “You may have given me a bunch of cool things, Discord, but that doesn’t fucking mean you could put my life at risk whenever you damn well please! Goddammit! He was this close, Discord, this close! And he was created by you! Worst of all, you fucking KNEW! So get off your high horse and leave me the fuck alone! You’re a shitty dad, friend, and chaos buddy! In fact!” You throw off your saddle bag and your horn towards him, only keeping the Starlight Hook as it had nothing to do with him. “Take your shit back, and take my fucking room, I’m gonna go live with Fluttershy!” You’ve taken so much from Discord. His abuse, his dishonesty, him just being mean or an asshole to you, and this? He knew, and he let it happen just so he could play hero. Fuck him!
Discord began to literally crack along his body, shivering as he looked down at the toss items. He looked emotionally and physically devastated by your words and actions. “Anon… Y-you don’t mean that, do you? How could you say that? Chrysalis tried to end you directly, didn’t she? So why her over me? I was just doing what I always do, I really wasn’t going to let you get hurt by my own paw… You know that, right?”
“I don’t fucking care. She was racked with grief, and you were just being an asshole. I’m done with it all, Discord, you can just go and-NGH?!” You were caught offguard when Discord dived to your forelegs and started crying, holding on to them as he begged and pleaded
“W-wait! I’m sorry! Don’t go hating me just because of this! Don’t end our friendship and partnership over such a foul up! I really am sorry! I congratulated you too, didn’t I? I really meant that! And… ngh, I can’t take the thought of losing you. Even worse… Fluttershy would find out… I’d be alone… Don’t leave me alone, Anon… I don’t wish to be alone… I don’t even think Spike and Big Mac would want to be friends with me if they found out… So please...” He cried, sounding so fucking pathetic to the point that you had to roll your eyes. Christ…
“Ugh, sheesh, ok ok… God.“ You pull yourself back from him. You’d still think he was bullshitting if it wasn’t for the fact he wouldn’t fuck around or joke when it came to Fluttershy. Ugh, he could be such a pain in the ass, but you couldn’t destroy him over this either, you didn’t like the thought of him being abandoned just because he was an ass. But you also weren’t going to bend either, and wanted to lay down the law right here. “Fine, I forgive you, I’ll take my stuff back, and I won’t move in with Fluttershy. But you can’t put my life at risk over a joke ever again, or else we’re done, Discord, you got it?”
“Y-yes, I swear, scout’s honor.” Discord said as he slowly stood up, doing a scout symbol with the digits of his talons, donning a boy scout outfit as he did so.
“You better. Now the next thing. I’m going to be gone for a few days, and I don’t want to hear shit about it, alright? You got that?” You tell him, staring at him hard as you do so, because you knew there was something he wanted that you simply didn’t want to do.
“W-what? What about our O&O session for tonight?” Discord said. Still visibly shaken, but easily slipping back to his selfish attitude.
You just roll your eyes at him “You know I don’t like that game. Besides, Big Mac isn’t even in town right now, it wouldn’t be very fun with just me, you, and Spike. Even then, I need some time to cool down from this. Stop being selfish, Discord, don’t make me hate you.”
“Yes… Right, well… Ahrm. I just thought maybe you’d have more fun with us than whatever you’d be doing. Besides, maybe your future wife would like to play with us as well? Surely you’d have more fun if you had her by your side, correct?” Discord said, giving you pleading eyes. Perhaps he just didn’t want you to go, perhaps he just wanted you close by so he could be sure you wouldn't leave to stew in whatever hatred you had for him, but acting this way certainly wasn’t helping things. “Besides… I’d like a little help with dealing with the last two clones. I feel emotions may run high there, and I’m not equipped at the moment to deal with it.”
“I can help you with Scootaloo, I’m ok with that. But my trip is kind of like a date with Diamond, and I’m hoping the resort we’re going to will be fun enough. Either way, you’re reaching Discord. Hell, what makes you think she’d want to play anyway? You know girls aren’t into that kind of thing.” Come on, Discord, just lay off.
“Maybe, but how can you be so sure? Have you asked her? Also, you only dislike the game because of your bad luck. If you keep at it, you’d find that it’s much more fun than you think. Yes, it's a fantasy world within the fantasy world you wanted, but it’s a lot more exciting, don’t you think?” Discord really was pushing it, as if he hadn’t learned anything at all.
You were about to pop off at him, once again getting sick of his shit. But then something hit you, something that could and would play out to your favor. Discord only really had one actual language to him, and if he didn’t understand personal space to well, then he’d understand something he couldn’t refuse. Something you’d just take full advantage of for your own benefit. “You’re that sure, huh? Then how about we make a bet…”
“A bet? How unusual of you, especially at a moment like this. So I take it you aren't mad at me anymore?” Discord asked, wanting to make sure he was in the clear.
“I’m still kind of mad, but I’ll get over it. Anyway, if you really want to make it up to me, then you’ll hear me out.” Surely he’ll take it, that should be enough bait.
“I’m listening” Discord said, crossing his arms as he awaited your terms.
“You want me to play O&O? Fine, I’ll do it… If you can somehow convince Diamond to play with us rather than going to a romantic date with yours truly. If you can, I’ll play without complaint.” Just wait for it, Anon, reel him in.
“Sounds somewhat doable. But I must ask, what happens if I lose?” Discord wonders.
“Easy, I get a whole day of unlimited charges. Sure the bet sounds a little stacked in my favor, but you do really want to have that game tonight, right?” Take it, Discord. Take it and lose. If he really was going to use you to enact his own fun, then you’d do the same to him.
“I do, and that bet is TOO stacked in your favor. So how about this? Just agree to come with little Diamond Tiara tonight and I’ll give you three days of unlimited charge. Deal?” Discord says as his expression forms a small grin. He reaches out his paw to you to await a hoofshake of sorts.
WUT?! WAS HE SERIOUS?! “Woah, woah, woah! Wait! Are you seriously saying you’re gonna give me three days of unlimited power for just one night of O&O? What happened to being responsible with so much power? What happened to limiting me so I don’t go off the hook? Seriously? Three days? Huh, I could do a lot with three days…” Really, you could. One day for fun, another to spy on Twilight’s school, and the last to get the drop on Chrysalis and… Hmm… Even visit Tempest, it’s been awhile since you’ve seen her, she might appreciate you dropping by. Still, why would Discord make it three? “Wait, so what’s the real catch to this?”
“That was the real catch. You should know why I’m offering so much to you for so little, Anon. I’m doing it to sate my own selfish nature while also offering you a peace offering for my egregious foul up. So, saying that, I’d like to believe that should you accept this deal, that we are square. So… Are we square, Anon?” Discord continues to hold his paw out, awaiting your hoof.
Fuck it, you can overlook this if it meant being an all powerful god for three days. You reach your hoof to his paw and give it a shake “We’re square, I can deal with one night.”
“Good…” Discord said with a relieved sigh “Good. Now, this whole clone business. Ugh, Yes, hrmm…” Discord eyed around the area, then looked to you for an answer he wanted to hear “Do I really, REALLY, need to be her friend? It’s so sudden, so contrived… It’s not like I’ve been the one having fun with her. Yes, a part of me has, but not me me. Anon, you used to be human, how exactly do I get out of this?”
Well, truthfully, he really didn’t need to. It was only Fluttershy who was pushing him to expand his friend pool. “You really don’t have to. I mean, you should be really nice over the fact you’re about to make her new friends disappear forever, but you don’t actually have to be her friend. Yeah, you’ll have those memories, but they shouldn’t influence who you are or what you want.”
“How profound, any reason why you’d actually tell me that so freely, and without guilt of going against Fluttershy’s want for me to make a friend?” Discord asked, curious as to why you’d actually tell him such a thing.
“I dunno, I just can’t see you handling too many friends at once, especially with the way you are.” You comment, knowing how Discord could be when he acts the asshole. “I don’t think she could handle you being rude or mean either. And I don’t think you could handle being put in your place after you do something wrong to her.” And for you, maybe you were still being protective of Scootaloo and perhaps even Discord in this way. They weren’t really compatible together, that you were sure of.
“Hmph, put in my place indeed.” Discord scoffed “While I do have bad moments, it’s nothing worth such a harsh evaluation. But very well, I will consider your advice. Still… It might not be that bad if she did become my friend…” Discord’s words trailed off there as he thought to himself. Balancing the pros and cons of having another friend, another pony to play O&O with, and perhaps someone even innocent enough to have fun with his totally not childish but still whimsical little tricks.
“What was that?” You asked, as he seemed to be talking to himself.
“Nothing, nothing, let’s just get this over with. Just try to follow along, Anon, as being ‘nice’ about it pertains to you as well. We all know that you can be quite insensitive yourself.” Discord said as he prepped himself up a little, cracking the bones on his arms as if getting himself ready physically as he was mentally.
“Nah, I’m not insensitive, I just miss the mark a couple of times, that’s all.” You say, feeling yourself right.
“Whatever you say, o high and mighty one.” Discord says while doing a polite yet condescending bow.
“Ergh… Whatever, let’s just do this thing already.” Those words, god you really hated those words.
You and Discord made your way to the janitor’s door. Upon opening it however, you both were greeted with some sort of dodgeball court. You could see Spike sitting on a chair, presumably as a judge, as Four and Scootaloo sat down in blue jerseys, cheering Babs on, as Sweetie and Apple Bloom sat at the other side of the room with green jerseys, cheering on Five. What was going on on the court itself was Babs and Five hurling dodgeballs at each other, the balls just appearing at their paws and hooves immediately, to be thrown at one another. Was this some sort of Blitz Dodgeball or something? It actually seemed kind of rad.
“Well, this should be easy, Scoots and Four are already alone. Let’s go say hi, and not make the clones disappear until after the game. Sound like a plan?” You tell Discord.
“I’m not a baby, Anon, I do know what manners are… Now go break the ice for me, will you?” Discord says as he detaches his paw to have it fling you forward to their bench, making you roll right onto it, albeit in a way that had you sitting on your belly, an uncomfortable position indeed.
“U-ughhhh…” You groan, feeling rather dizzy after that push.
“Anon?” Scootaloo notices you are suddenly at her side, and greets you while finding your sitting position odd. “Heya… Uh, why are you laying on the bench like that? Doesn’t that hurt your stomach?”
“...Yeah, ugh…” You slowly reposition yourself to sit on the bench on all fours, then take a deep breath to bring this whole thing to a close. “There we go. So yeah, hey! What’s up? What’s going on over there?”
“It’s cool, isn’t it? It was partly my idea actually! I wanted to play a quick game with everypony before Four and Five had to go. Everypony was cool with it, and Spike even suggested a quick game of dodgeball would probably work. But then I was like ‘Four and Five have powers, right? Let’s make it super cool by just having unlimited dodgeballs to throw at each other!’. And well, it turned into this. I didn’t know Five and Babs would go on this long though, they’re both really good at this!” Scootaloo said, at the edge of her seat at the excitement of Babs’s and Five’s movements. “They’re both really giving it their all. It’s exciting, right?”
“Yeah, it is. But uh, I’m actually here to tell you that Discord is here to come take Four and Five. But he’s willing to wait until the game is over before he does it. Um, I mean... “ Fuck, you really had no idea how to actually soften that blow. How do you sugarcoat the fact that new friends have to stop existing forever?
“Ngh…” Scootaloo turned her head back and saw that Discord was just standing by the door. He gave her an awkward smile and a wave, which just made her look forward in dread and despair. “It’s that time already? But c’mon, it’s not even the end of the day yet, can’t he wait just a little bit more?” End of the day? She sounded ready for after the game, but apparently not.
“I’m afraid that’s not how it works…” Four said suddenly, chiming into the conversation. Then again, he was right next to Scootaloo, how could he not hear you both? “As I have explained, we can’t exist forever”
“But why? Can’t Discord just pump you and Five with more magic? That’d keep you both going, right?” Scootaloo said as she looked back at Four, clearly upset that they were now at the precipice of their existence.
Four slowly shakes his head “He could, but it would not end well. We are merely his shadows, representative of his whims, mixed with some of the randomness chaos brings. Adding in more chaos magic would bend us to his current whim, with a roll of the dice causing us to change into something else entirely. Unless Discord was to give up his own life essence, it just wouldn’t work out, something Five and I already accepted.” Four reaches over and begins to pet Scootaloo very gently on the head “If it does make you feel better, Five and I really have enjoyed our time existing.” He then looks over to Discord with a chuckle “Maybe it’ll help our dear originator have a little more appreciation for others.”
“Let’s not get sassy now. While I am allowing this goodbye, I’m still not sure if I am willing to be friends with her.” Discord replies.
“Whatever, I don’t want to be your friend either.” Scootaloo said as she got a teary eyed, knowing it really would be over soon. “Sure, you’ll have their memories, but you’re still a jerk. It’s like, sometimes you’re cool, but then you’d rather be a jerk than just be nice. I really don’t get it.”
“Hmm…” Discord stopped for a moment, and pondered on her words, seemingly curious about something. “Even now, everypony is still befuddled by such a revelation. I do what I do because that’s what I enjoy doing, but that doesn’t actually make me a jerk. But everypony just tends to think that anyway, even when I don’t do anything to them. Then again, simple children tend to think everything but themselves are wrong. Not my fault you decided to befriend a temporary being you KNEW wouldn’t exist forever.”
Scootaloo’s nostrils flared up for a moment in anger. She just looked up at Discord, frustrated with him, and just blurts. “Well, it was kind of hard when they turned out to be awesome. Maybe you should just stop existing by giving them your essence. Because everypony likes them better than they like you!”
“Oh dear…” Four said, looking troubled by Scootaloo’s words “Now now, let’s not go that far. He has his issues, but he truly isn’t that bad.”
Oh lordy, this was already turning hostile. “Scoots, hey, relax. That’s kind of messed up.”
“How is it messed up? Four and Five aren’t jerks, but he is! He doesn’t even care he’s going to just end them, just like that!” Scootaloo’s emotions ran high as she spoke, she really didn't like the idea of two beings she saw as wholesome just disappearing and returning to someone like Discord. “What he’s doing is messed up!”
Oof, she’s… Sorta not wrong. But he’s made so many clones before, and you were sure that Discord thought he was sure that something like this wasn’t going to happen. But asking for him to sacrifice himself like that was fucked up either way. “Scoots, look. Four and Five know they have to go, they are only magical constructs. Dad though, he’s an actual living being, with his own friends and life. You knew Four and Five weren’t going to be around for too long, but you got really attached anyway, and I can understand that. But think about it, if Dad ended himself, then what about those who care about him? Aunt Fluttershy, Spike, Big Mac, Me, Diamond… And uhh, well… Just think of how painful it’d be for us to have lost him after knowing him for so long. Heck, I wouldn’t be here without him. I know it isn’t fair, but you gotta accept it, that’s how it is.” Wow, that really just came out of you. Then again, you have had these moments before. It’s not like you don’t have SOME wisdom from your past life, along with your experiences in Equestria.
“He’s right, Young Scootaloo. I know it’s hard, but it simply must be accepted.” He gently hoists her up, and begins to give her a gentle hug. “What’s important here, is your memory of us. As short as our time was, it really is something to be valued. Some part of us will still exist within his memory as well, so we’ll never truly be gone, and we’ll remember you too. So no more tears, alright? Everything will be ok, I promise.”
Discord seemed rather stunned from both your words and Four’s, even more so by Scootaloo’s nuzzling and sobbing onto Four’s chest, it seemed to be getting to him. Perhaps, it was finally sinking into his head how delicate the situation actually was, because he looked like he was having a heel turn moment as he began to speak in a gentle tone. “Hmm… Well, that is true… I suppose. And given how important these memories seem, I wouldn’t just cast them aside. Yes, I may not be as perfect as you see them, but I am capable of being nice. As in, I could take in their memories and… Perhaps share my time with you in a fashion best representing them. I know it’s not a perfect replacement, but knowing now how deeply this is affecting you, and thinking about how my friends would react if the places would switch… Well, I suppose what I’m saying is that perhaps I wouldn’t mind sharing a friendship and being… Oh what’s a word to use to not make me seem too pathetic? Well, I’ll do my best not to make you upset. But I do expect it to be between us, having your friends as tagalongs would just cramp my chaotic mojo. Does that sound reasonable?” He really was affected by Scootaloo’s words and reactions. Even he understood how heavy things can be, he himself could have his soul crushed in an instant if someone he cared about that much just suddenly hated him.
“See? He really isn’t so bad. Here, give him a chance, and you’ll see that everything will be alright.” Four says as he gently places Scootaloo down, and gives her another gentle pat.
Scootaloo looks up at Discord, still teary eyed, but a little more willing to open her heart after hearing such words. She didn’t realize Discord could be so profound in the ways of caring and friendship. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to say anything mean like that, I was just, y’know. I mean, I still don’t know if I want to be friends, you’re still not 'them' even if they came from you. But I don’t wanna hate you either. Everypony is right, you are awesome too when you wanna be, and Anon is, like, my partner of hero stuff; so it’d be kind of dumb to just think you’re a really bad guy considering he’s here because of you. How about we just be nice and friendly to each other and see how it goes… And… Is there anyway for Four and Five to stay for just a little bit longer? Please?”
Discord sighed a heavy sigh, and turned his head towards the game. “I could just leave them to disappear naturally. Given they are still surrounding themselves in some chaos, such as this game you’re all playing, they should last a little longer. We’d both win, to be honest. You get your final moments, and I don’t have to be here to pick up the pieces, everypony wins. Besides, I have some important business with Anon anyway. Photo ops and deals to make, you know how it-Huh?!” Discord is stunned when Scootaloo suddenly jumps into him, giving him a warm hug.
“Thanks, Discord! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Umm… Erm…” Scootaloo, realizing she was hugging someone she just condemned just a moment ago, backs off and looks away with a nervous smile. “Sorry… Erm, you’re cool, t-that’s all I wanted to say. I wouldn’t mind hanging out when I’m free. Just ask, ok?”
“I’ll… Keep that in mind, there is a game we all like to get together to play, so… Well, we’ll see.” Discord sniffs, an obvious sign he was feeling just a little overwhelmed by all this. “Anywaaaay, Anon, come along, we have to go and get our faces in the newspaper.”
“Yeah, alright. Scoots, you gonna be ok?” You ask, wanting to make sure she’d be fine before you go.
“Yeah, I’ll be ok. I-I just got a little overemotional, that’s all. But hey, everything is gonna be fine, right? I mean, look at you, you’re alright. Heh, I really thought something was gonna go wrong with you today, but everything turned out to be ok. So, if you’re gonna be ok, then I know I definitely will. So don’t worry about me, ok?” Scootaloo says
“Right, heh, totally… I know it'll be ok” You tell her, really hoping things would be fine. Yeeeeeah, totally had an ok day so far. She essentially managed to call what was going to happen to you within three guesses, so you hoped she was going to be as alright as she thought she’d be. “Take care, Scoots. And you too, Four, and thanks for the hook.”
“It was a pleasure to work with Starlight to make it. Fare thee well, Anon, I hope your day proves to be a good one the whole way through.” Four says with a gentle grin, very uncharacteristic for his appearance, but heartwarming nonetheless.
With that, Discord hurried you along back out of the janitor’s closet. He was relieved to be out of there. Truly, he did actually begin to care about Scootaloo, but he still didn’t want to go all in about it. But he did seem genuinely content with his decision to let Four and Five exist until their eventual end just to make Scootaloo happy. You knew deep inside that he cared, he was just not willing to just fully embrace it.
“Well, not the best way it could have been handled, but it worked out pretty good.” Really, it wasn’t all that bad.
“Speak for yourself, I actually started to feel BAD about everything. I don’t need that kind of disaster on my already volatile conscious. As long as she’s content, I’ll be able to look away with this with nary any guilt. In anycase, we have a photo op to get to, don’t we?” Discord dons a suit similar to Filthy’s, and adjusts it like some rich country man “If it’s one thing I really love, is looking better than anypony else.”
“Yeah. Ugh, then after that, I gotta convince Diamond to show up tonight… And then go deal with Twilight. Argh, this whole thing is going to be difficult. I know Celestia might be an issue, but she did give me her blessing to reform Chrysalis. The only problem is the fact that Chrysalis is still holding on to that banner of evil. Even with her blessing, I’m sure Celestia is gonna be hesitant as hell to actually allow it. Y’know how it is… Saying something is a lot different from actually doing something… Or allowing it, in this case.”
“Heh, not like you have to mention the whole ‘ending you’ thing, you should keep that to yourself. As for Twilight, didn’t she also make some sort of deal or promise about that? I remember you mentioning it before after that whole ‘Pony of Shadows’ incident. Something about a promise she made to you back when ole Chryssy was around, or when she left.. Something like that” Discord’s grin started to become a little evil as he spoke “You could use that as ammo, Anon.” Discord cocks back a talon, and fires a purple bullet right into a target with Twilight’s face, of course, making it appear out of nowhere “She is the Princess of Friendship. It’d be unseemly to just break a promise, don’t you think?”
Your ears perked up when he said that. Holy hell, you forgot about that! Of course you would, it was quite some time ago when she said such a thing. A mischievous little grin started to form on your face when you realized Twilight had no choice but to listen, or so you thought anyway. “Damn, Discord, and here I thought you were a total asshole the whole way through. Fuck, my plan might actually work after all! Thanks for reminding me.”
“Ahh, you always doubt me, forgetting that I always come through when it counts. Now, since I was a help, I do expect you and your little love to show up at Twilight’s castle tonight.” Discord chuckles to himself at the thought “Can’t wait to, perhaps, check on our princess before the game… See if she’s alright”
“Fine with me, I’ll make sure it happens. Anyway…” You run your hoof through your mane, to make it cute and messy “Let’s do this”
Both you and Discord made your way back to the main hall, ready for what awaited the both of you. In your mind, you were prepping yourself for a talk with Diamond. You decided you’d tell her, for sure, what transpired today, as well as convince her to come to Twilight’s castle tonight for a game of O&O. When you both finally reached the main hall, The Riches were already there getting ready for the picture, Silver Spoon hanging back to let them do it. Filthy, of course, was stalling for time until you arrived, boasting to the cameraponies and reporters about this and that.
“...And of course, besides donating the colosseum for our dear Princesses’s school, I’d also like to mention, that given today is right special, that we’ll be having a special thirty percent discount for the next four hours down at Barnyard Bargains. Yessiree, it may cut down on profits some, but I feel everypony in town should have a sense of them good feelings we all shared here today and… Ah, and will you look at how right lucky we are right now. Not only has Mr. Anon arrived to join us, but he brought his father too. Let me tell you, despite the oddity of it all, I see them both as official family members. Come over here you two, and let’s get some pictures. Oh, and might I say, you are looking rather sharp today, Mr. Discord.” Man, Filthy was really hamming it up here. But you couldn’t say he was faking it, he was pretty genuine with his words.
“I do declare” Discord says as he straightens his vest, changing his tone to a southern flair “I will have to say the same thing about you, Mr. Rich. And may I say to our fine journalistic folk that it is a real honor to have witnessed the preliminary wedding of my future stepdaughter and my wonderful boy here. Indeed, I’d like to remind everypony here that you’d all have been doomed had I not adopted this fine colt. Who knows what would have happened with all that nasty business with the Storm King if I didn’t have such foresight, am I right?” Goddammit Discord… Just wanted all the glory for himself. Trying to make sure his 'foresight' gets in the fucking paper just to bolster his own ego for something he wasn’t even there for.
The reporters and cameraponies didn’t look too moved by his words, nor did they look like they were denying it too much. Really, it was your glory, but it looked like they didn’t want to argue with a being that could turn them inside out on a whim.
Mr. Rich began to reposition the group for a better picture. He had you next to Diamond at the front, just standing about two feet away from her for symmetry. She was already nearly shaking with excitement for just being near you. Mrs. Rich stood next to her husband, with Discord standing on the other side of Mr. Rich, putting on his best dignified post. Before everyone was ready, Mr. Rich just leaned over enough to whisper “How’s the chest, son? Can’t imagine your tux shrinking on you felt like drinking fresh apple cider.”
Awww, was he really worried about that? “Yeah, I’m alright, no worries here. Barely felt it. But thanks for asking, Mr. Rich.”
“No trouble, son, just making sure you’re ok. Now let’s put on a smile and make this look good.” Filthy said as he positioned himself for the picture, giving out a nice bright and honest smile.
Hell, the picture taking went really well. A couple of pictures, more questions for Filthy, as well as you and even Discord, and finally, The Riches and Discord himself let you and Diamond walk out of Town Hall to enjoy the rest of the day together, even Silver Spoon giving her blessing to the both of you as she decides to not accompany you both, not wanting to be a third wheel.
So you were finally outside after that entire mess, and man did the air feel good, especially with a cute filly cuddling on your side. Still, you had some heavy things on your mind. You were thinking of telling Diamond about Chrysalis showing up… Or hell, you should tell her. Given you’d want to see if she would want to go to a resort over you ‘wanting’ to stay for a game of O&O, you’d also need to see how serious she truly was about being your partner by seeing how she reacts to this information, although you’ll leave out the whole ‘try to murder you’ thing.
“Anon, wasn’t that all so dreamy? Hmm? Would you say that was the best wedding ever?” Diamond ask, fawning over you like you were a rock star.
“Yeah, it was, if I do say so myself” You say, only wanting to make her happy.
“What? No!” Diamond gives you a gentle whap on the head, then gives you a snooty look as she raises her head “It was an imperfect wedding. So it can’t be the best, you should know that.”
“Oh, well. Considering that was my first pony wedding, I have nothing else to compare it to.” Ok, Anon, time to make a recovery, just sound suave. “Except when we have our real wedding, which will be the best wedding in any universe.” You say as you give her dreamy bedroomy gaze.
“O-oh…” Diamond blushes, looking at with with a bashful, yet emotionally taken face “I-I suppose that’s right, c-considering who you are. And uhm…” She gives her head a shake to recover her senses, then gives a stoic stare as she nods “Also true, our real wedding will totally be the best ever.”
You chuckle at that, she was being rather adorable. Man, if only you both were a little older… Bah, get that out of your head, Anon, it’s time to get to business. “Yep, the super best. But uh, I kinda wanted to have a practice honeymoon with you an-woah!” You are suddenly stopped as Diamond brings her nose to yours, squeeing in excitement.
“Really?! Even though you didn’t need to! Ohhhhh, very scandalous. I see, keep it a secret so we don’t get followed around by the press. I like it! So, where are we going?!” She said, trying her best to contain her excitement.
“Oh, well, it was a resort over at Las Pegasus, but…” You reach into your saddlebag, and pull out the tickets, holding it over to her for her to have a look. “Look who owns the place.”
“Hmmm?” Diamond takes the golden looking tickets, and has herself a closer look. And almost instantly, she had a look of pure disdain and disgust on her face as she noticed the brothers faces printed on the ticket. “Oh, those two hacks. Hmph, after all the scams they’ve tried to pull in the past, we’d have to be total morons to go to their resort. In fact, I can probably get Mother to get your money back and maybe even get the place closed down. There’s no way they aren’t doing anything shifty in there. there's totally something we can get them with.”
Wew, so far so good, seems she did care over the fact it was the Flim Flam brothers’ resort as it seemed she still had some ill will towards them. And could you blame her? These guys would take over Equestria if they had the chance, quite literally too. “Yeah well, truthfully? It was your mom who got the tickets, for free too, so it’s not like we’re obligated to go or anything. So yeah, I wasn’t too keen on going either when I found out they owned the resort. But I do have a solution. See, sometimes me and Dad and a few friends do this thing every night…” And you then go on to explain some of Ogres and Oubliettes to Diamond, and how it’s done in your sessions. From heroic adventuring as anyone you wish, to treasure hunting and saving entire lands, to even getting to be the hero you imagine yourself to be, the whole shebang.
“So, it’s like when we went into Miss Cheerilee’s chalkboard? But an actual adventure?” Diamond asks.
“Sorta, yeah. It’s like the best game of pretend that’s ever existed. To put it simply, the Oubliette Master makes an adventure for us to go through, and the players have to find a way to win, survive, and defeat all in their path. And because you’re playing as your dream character, you’ll be able to do whatever they can do. For example, I am Conan, the mighty barbarian, and I can cleave even the mightiest bad guy in half with my battle axe.” You say as you decide to strike a heroic pose.
Diamond just tilts her head in confusion “A barbarian? Really? Not like a knight or anything like that? Aren’t barbarians mean and just pillage and other things like that?”
“Well, I mean…” Dammit, of course she’d have a problem with you being a brutish barbarian. “I just like to get to the point, then cleave it in two.” You say with a chuckle “Besides, my character is a noble barbarian adventurer, who saves everypony and slices his enemies in half. And that’s the beauty of the game, even a class such as a thief or berserker can be heroic nobleponies. If you want to play, you could be a royal knight if you want.”
“Royal knight?” Diamond began to ponder for a moment “But you can be anypony you want to be… Hmmm…” Diamond just sat there, thinking, she even took a look at the tickets for a moment, until… “I want to be a thief.”
“Royal knight it is-wha huh?” Woah, what? A thief? You mentioned it as a class, but you didn’t expect her to pick it. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, a thief princess in fact! Think of it, Anon.” Diamond gives a conniving expression as she looks left and right suspiciously. “Princess by day, thief by the moonlight. Oooh! That’s a good name too, Moonlight Garnet! A master thief who hunts for treasure and steals the riches of evil barons and villains to give to her people… and keep some for herself too.” Diamond has herself a self satisfied titter as she gives you a rather dreamy look “Pretty cool, right? Actually, I don’t need you to tell me, I already know my ideas are perfect. Well, near perfect, I’ll have the whole idea down by the time we play tonight.”
Well, that was easy. Unexpected, but easy. Moonlight Garnet, huh? Yeah, that works. Better yet, that pretty much secures your three days of power. Oh baby, tomorrow was gonna be good. “Oh, I’m sure of it. But uh…” And here it comes, the true test of her loyalty to you. “There’s something else we need to talk about. This time it’s pretty important.”
“Important?” Diamond was stunned for a moment, she didn’t even think it was something serious at first. But she could see the growing concern on your face. She didn’t know what was up, but she thought it strange you’d go from inviting her to a fun sounding night to whatever this was. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but Chrysalis…” Prepare yourself, Anon, you have no idea how she is going to react to this. “Showed up at the wedding.”
“W-what?!” Diamond said out loud, catching the ear of some of the ponies around town. Though, she thankfully realized how important it was to keep it a secret, you just didn’t expect her to shove you in between some houses with her face, poking your side with her tiara, just to find a place to talk. “...She was there? Does that mean she’s totally good now? Did she like it? How did you know it was her? I didn’t notice her at all. Tell me, Anon, tell me!” Man, she was suddenly super curious. And that tiara, damn, it was kind of sharp. Nothing punctured, but you'll have to make sure she never uses it on you as a weapon.
Anyway, you decide to tell her, leaving out the more violent details. You essentially told Diamond a version where you both just caught up with each other, mentioning the fact that she cared about Diamond’s opinion of her as the most important piece to your explanation. “...And then she just left to the Everfree. What do you think, Diamond?” She wasn’t freaking out, so that was a good sign.
“It sounds like she just misses her kids. It sounds like she was so focused on being evil that she even drove her entire hive to hate her when they realized there was a better way…” Diamond began to frown more and more, as her thoughts began to compare the situation with her own when it came to her mother. “She tried to force them to do things her way, when it just turned out to be a bad way. And because of that, she’s lonely now. She doesn’t know what to do, and she’s trying to hold on to everypony who does care about her while still thinking being evil is ok. My mother was kind of like that for awhile. I mean she wasn’t evil or anything, but… You know how she was. She just needed help understanding that her way wasn’t helping anypony, but that we still cared about her either way. I think that’s what Chrysalis needs, she just needs a little brother, and of course, a little sister to help her be the changeling she knows she can be. I wish I had a chance to talk to her, maybe I could have done something. We’ll still have a chance to help her, right?”
Yep, you were really glad you didn’t mention the whole ‘killing you thing’, as Diamond is not only remarkably calm about this, but seems to care enough to want to help with this. This was good, very very good indeed, meant you didn’t really have to hide or do that kind of shady shit that gets characters in trouble when they try to cover something up. You were in the clear. “We do, it’s actually why I plan to talk to Princess Twilight today. I want the help of all four princesses, I need their ok so not only does she realize she really is welcomed, but also so none of them suddenly decide to banish her or something on a whim.”
“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard, they are the princesses. After speaking to Princess Luna, I can already guess they are super understanding. I would be if I was a princess, but we all knew that already. In fact, let’s go ask Princess Twilight about it now!” Diamond said as she began to march off to Twilight’s castle.
“Woah, wha?!” Wait, she was actually wanting to do this? As adorable and caring as she was about this, you didn’t know if her form of diplomacy would work on Twilight. You also don’t think Twilight would take her too seriously. “I dunno, Diamond. This is something more between me and her.”
“We’re partners, right? And soon to be married. That means if you need help, then I’ll be there. Besides, mother does this kind of thing all the time, how hard can it be?” Diamond says as she just continues her march towards the castle without hesitation “Princess Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, so this should be something she’d already be willing to do. C’mon, Anon, it won’t be that tough.”
Christ, if only she knew how stubborn Twilight could actually be. Was it really wise to let her come along? Wait… Maybe it would be. If Twilight sees that ponies are willing to look past Chrysalis’s evil to give her a chance to reform, then she’d be more willing to keep that promise. Fine then, that’ll work. “You’re right, with you at my side, this shouldn’t be very hard at a-WAH!”
Diamond jumps on you and snuggles along your body, happy to hear you agree. “Yeah! I knew you’d realize it! This is why we’ll make the perfect couple! When we’re together, nothing can bring us down! My Daddy says that sometimes, and this is totally proof that it’s true.”
Well, it seems that it really is true. You now had a two on one against Twilight, and three days of unlimited power, all thanks to Diamond. Man, you actually felt pumped, with Twilight’s agreeance, the other three should follow suit soon after.
You'd have to be careful though, simply because Spike would still be with the clones to help make this a three on one. Then again, with him not being there, you might be able push a little harder than originally planned if Twilight proved to be difficult.
And so you and Diamond made your way to Twilight’s castle. She made some small talk, talking about how gorgeous the castle looked and such, always being some sort of beautiful monument of princessness and such. At this point, you’ve gotten used to the castle being there, so all you had to say it that it did look nice, and that was about it. Getting inside was easy enough as well, Twilight, to this day, still never locks the damn door, so it was easy for you both to just step into the main entrance hall. However, you both stop after crossing the hall, right before the doors to the cutie map room. “Ok, here we go. Diamond, are you sure you want to do this? This can be really serious. Princess Twilight isn’t exactly ok with Chrysalis in the first place.”
Diamond gives you a soft sigh, she looked slightly annoyed by your words, but she calmed herself just as quickly as it came, if only because she cared about you that much. “Well, we wouldn’t be here if it was going to be easy, right? But she’s still a princess, meaning she will still listen and understand that we’re trying to help a friend. Trust me, it’ll work out, you just need to know how to be diplomatic. Here, watch this.” Diamond says, as her determination and bravado was something to behold as she just… Stepped right through the doors. You reached out to stop her, but not only was she just stepping forward without slowing down, but Twilight was already at her chair, reading some sort of book as she happily hummed to herself. Well, at least she looked like she was in a good mood.
“Oh, I just can’t wait to meet everycreature tomorrow. Thank Celestia I have the entire day to relax and mentally prepare myself. Everything has been planned out, everycreature is ready, Chancellor Neighsay has been reasonable more and more by the moment, and everycreature seems eager to learn about friendship. That’s right, Twilight, it’s resting time! Just you, your castle, and a nice book to read.” Twilight said to herself, giggling as she made herself comfortable further to continue reading her book. Did she really have to say that out loud? Seriously, she seemed as bad as you when it came to talking to oneself.
Diamond, not caring if she was actually intruding or not, quickly creeps up on Twilight’s side before you had any time to react. While she was ready to discuss things as she said, she was also excited to be so up close to Twilight. Finally, in one large burst, she jumps onto the right arm of her chair and yells out “GOOD AFTERNOON, PRINCESS TWILIGHT!”
“BWAH!” Twilight throws her book up in surprise and falls off the other end of her chair. She then quickly got back up and slowly peered over the side of her seat to see Diamond Tiara peering from the other with a great big smile. It took Twilight a moment, but she recognized her, and upon doing so, looked back to notice you as well. “Diamond, Anon? Is the wedding over already?” Twilight then slowly stood up, feeling relief. She put on a smile, and more properly greeted you both. “Sorry I couldn’t come, your mother really didn’t want my friends and I showing up. But…” Twilight giggled to herself “If you’re both here for a princess’ blessing, then you’re in luck, I’d be happy to give it to you both. Hmm…” Twilight then began to ponder on that as she climbed back onto her seat “Although, I’m not exactly sure how that works. I don’t know if I just congratulate you both or if there’s some ceremony. Thinking about it now, I really should do some more reading on proper princess etiquette.”
“Oh, that’s very nice of you to offer that to us, Princess Twilight. But uhm, we’re actually here to talk to you about Queen Chrysalis.” Diamond says, plunging her spear of diplomacy right into Twilight’s face. You grimaced hard, took a step back, and shivered. Geez, what a straight throw that was.
“Oh, is that all? Well, let me just… WAIT WHAT?!” Twilight exclaims, once again prompting her to fall off the side of her chair, slamming her face onto the ground with a massive face plant. Diamond, utterly confused, looked to you with great puzzlement as to why Twilight was acting like that. You just shrugged, it was all going too fast for you to properly answer. Twilight raises her head above the side of her chair once more, looking to Diamond with an intense stare. “Did you say what I think you said?”
“U-umm, yes? Is there a problem, Princess Twilight?” Diamond asked, finally faltering as Twilight’s reaction started to make her feel rather uncomfortable.
“Is there a problem?! Of course there’s a problem!” Twilight, already entering her usual frantic manic mode, hovers upwards as she looks to you in surprise. “What have you told her?! What is going on this time?!”
“Hey!” Already going accusatory? Christ Twilight, way to go! “I told her the truth! I told her how it was between me and her, and everything else in between. She deserved to know! What’s wrong with that?!”
Twilight was about to berate you, until she realized she couldn’t really berate you for something like that. She began to realize the only reason she was actually frustrated was because she could already tell this was only going to be a repeat of you trying to reform her in some way. “There’s actually nothing wrong.” Twilight hovered downwards, still focusing on you as she landed behind her seat. “Telling her the truth is the right thing to do. But let me ask this, are you both here about reforming her in some way?”
“Mhmm… But why are you acting like that’s a bad thing, Princess Twilight? Isn’t reforming a good thing? I-it… Well…” Diamond’s heart sunk a little as she once again thought about how she used to be. She then looked back to Twilight with some reinforced determination, realizing it was all in the past. “It’s something I’d think would be important for anypony who is bad to go through.”
“And I believe in that too, I really do, but Chrysalis hasn’t been seen in quite some time. And as I understand it, she has vowed revenge against the princesses. She’s too dangerous, and she’d have to be dealt with accordingly before any kind of reforming could even happen. You’d even have to take in the possibility that reforming her is also an impossibility. She had a chance right there and then to join her changeling children, especially since reforming a changeling has the added benefit in that they don’t need to starve from or feast on the love of others anymore. It seems clear to me that all Queen Chrysalis wants is domination over Equestria, and that’s why I’m not allowing this conversation to go further than that.” Twilight was being quite forward and authoritative, clearly still tired of having to hear anything about Chrysalis at this point.
Diamond faltered, she had no idea Twilight would be this immediately forceful and conclusive. Seeing Diamond spooked, and hearing Twilight throw out one of her retarded judgements made you step forward, ready to take her and her arguments on. “Or so you assume. Sheesh, Twilight, we wouldn’t be here about Chrysalis unless there was some NEW information about her. Namely, her appearing at our wedding.”
“Her appearing at your-WHAT?!” Twilight once again falls over, tripping backwards over her seat and falling onto her back, smacking her head right on the side of her chair.
Diamond looked back at you, more confused than ever. “I-is she always like that?”
“Mostly, she just likes to panic a lot.” You retort, not giving a damn at this point, Twilight was being an asshole.
“I do not panic a lot!” Twilight said, quickly standing back up, her mane and tail having hairs out of place, her eye twitching from her increasing manicness. “But you can’t just come in here and say that she showed up at your wedding! Because, yes, that will cause some panic. C’mon, Anon, this isn’t a joke. Do you realize you could start a REAL panic by lying about something like that?”
“But he isn’t lying? She really was there.” Diamond said, her confusion to Twilight’s attitude becoming never ending.
“W-what? Ha ha, she was at your wedding? Hahahaaa she was there? And I wasn’t there to defend everypony? Just slipped right in, and caused trouble right under my nose.” Twilight was becoming delirious at this point, she honestly couldn’t take in that Chrysalis once again possibly crashed a wedding, ponies already possibly taken or obliterated before she could do anything. “Right under all our noses.”
Oh yeah, she was losing her marbles already. Typical goddamn Twilight, she just couldn’t take even the possibility of something going out of her control. No one was hurt, no one was drained, hell, no one even actually knew she was fucking there except goddamn Starlight. You had to tell Spike, Discord, and Fluttershy about it after the fact. “She didn’t do anything, Twilight. Do you really have to act like this? Even Aunt Fluttershy and Spike knew she was there. You’re overreacting.”
“Y-your aunt knows? And S-spike too?” Twilight asked, wobbling around, her mind hazy as she felt woozy from her crazed thoughts. “A-and nopony thought to tell me about this?!”
“It only j-just happened, Princess Twilight. E-everything is ok though. All she did w-was talk with Anon, and we learned some really important t-things through that. A-are you alright? Y-you’re acting like you don’t want to help her at all, e-ever. She’s like a sister t-to me, you have to help her.” Diamond was growing timid. Unlike her time with visiting Princess Luna during your first real date, Princess Twilight was turning out to be nothing like she thought she really was.
“D-did you say sister?” Twilight asked, as she began to lean back, her panicked smile going wider.
“Y-yes?” Diamond answered hesitatingly.
“Oh ok, that’s what I thought. Well, if you’d like to talk about it later, that would be fine.” Twilight, with her hair still out of place, suddenly calms down to her usual self, as if nothing happened.
“What?! Twilight, we are being one hundred percent seri-oh, oh geez.” Your words are cut short as Twilight suddenly falls over to her side, falling unconscious as her mind finally overloaded. “Welp, her brain fried.”
“Princess Twilight?! Anon, is she going to be ok?!” Diamond began to panic herself, and rushed towards the fallen mare. She lifted one of her legs to see if it’d move, but it just fell lifelessly, the only signs of movement on Twilight right now was her gentle breathing.
“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Her brain is just rebooting, that’s all.” You began to calm down. For now, it was over. You’d only get a small break before Twilight wakes up again. You’d get your chance, and she’d hopefully be more calm when you do. For now, you were going to go loot her kitchen. “Nothing to do now but wait.”
“Rebooting? What does that mean? And why does she hate Queen Chrysalis so much?” Diamond asked, as she began to walk away from Twilight’s fallen form, following you aimlessly without realizing what you were doing.
“Oh, it just means she’s calming down before she wakes up. As for why she hates her so much. Well, to be fair, she did attack Canterlot, beat down Princess Celestia, and tried to hurt her family.” you answer, heading down a hallway full of doors as you looked around for a kitchen entrance.
“I remember hearing about that. But that’s when she was totally bad, right? She’s not like that anymore, otherwise she’d have tried to do something evil again, like trying to hurt you or something.”
You suddenly came to a sudden stop as you felt a cold chill run down your spine, as you know she was there to do EXACTLY that. But if Diamond or Twilight knew that, your plans could be sunk. So what do you say then? Well, that was obvious. “Yeah, nah, she’s totally super not like that anymore. And I’m sure Princess Twilight will understand that when we get the chance to talk to her again.”
“I hope so…” Diamond said with a depressed tone. She began to rub her head along your side for comfort, as she did not expect in the slightest for Twilight to be so difficult.
You expected it in some capacity though, just not in a way that’d knock her out. Like fuck, you haven’t even gotten to reminding her about her promise, which she seemed to have clearly forgotten.
Welp, you had a way in now, Diamond made sure of that. But thanks to Twilight’s manic reactions and falling unconscious due to her not being able to process the information given to her, Diamond started to become more and more upset by the minute. She followed you through the castle, asking about why Twilight was acting the way she was, that it didn’t make sense to her. It was obvious to you though, it was obvious to anyone who knew Twilight. She was a spaz that despite being the friendship princess, had issues trusting anyone who was ‘bad’ or ‘evil’. You could just tell Diamond just that, and show her why Twilight is a hypocritical asshole. But you take pity on her childish nature, and decide to tell her that Twilight is only upset because she has so much on her mind already, due to the school and all. She buys it of course, as it made some sense to her. You then start showering her with some praise, telling her that she did an amazing job in bringing up the topic of Chrysalis. But you only do this to make it easier to tell her that you had to do the next part, the part where you convince Twilight, alone. At first, Diamond is adamant in helping you in this ordeal, but after you tell her that this particular subject has actually been a long process between you and Twilight, and that you had to see this to the end alone because of this being a personal issue that has been a back and forth between you two for awhile now; she begins to realize, or at least think, that if it’s something that goes back that far and something she doesn’t have a full grasp on, that she might actually do more harm than good. After such a realization, you are now able to tell her that it’ll be alright if she leaves you alone here, and that she could probably use the time to develop her ‘Moonlight Garnet’ character for O&O. While still reluctant, she gives you a gentle snuggle hug, and says her goodbyes, and her hopes that everything will be alright.
After you say your goodbyes and she leaves, you take the time to really start looking through Twilight’s kitchen. And… Goddammit, really? Did everything in here have to be prepared? Dammit, you didn’t know how to cook. How the fuck could she not keep any snacks around? Ugh, dammit… Everything looked so old timey too, with these classic looking ovens. No wonder there wasn't any snacks to eat.
You grumble to yourself as you return to the cutie map room, stopping to look upon Twilight’s unconscious form. Heh, she did look really cute when she was knocked out like that. You take two sneaky looks around, and ponder if squeezing her butt a little would be a form of cheating. You kind of wanted to see if it was as soft as it looked.
“Having impure thoughts again, Anon?” Said a familiar voice from behind.
“Ye- I mean no! What the?” You look behind yourself, only to see Discord walking past you and towards Fluttershy’s seat, slowly sitting down as he rests his arms on the map. “Discord? Ah c’mon man, I know you wanna see Twilight flub shit up, but this is kind of serious.”
It was odd, really, he wasn’t reacting like you expected. He didn’t seem thrilled to see Twilight down, nor did he make some sort of snappy retort on you wanting him to leave. He simply took a breath and calmly said. “I’m aware. And after some considerable thinking on the whole thing, I figured you may need a partner who has been there as long as you have in this whole Chrysalis friendship business.”
“Discord… C’mon. I value our friendship, but pissing off Twilight is not gonna help the situation at all. I mean, fuck, look…” You started to feel more serious as soon as you realized you were being too passive. You didn’t need him here ruining everything. “Just get out. I don’t need you fucking this up for me. And trust me, there will be hell if you do.”
“Noted. I suppose I’ll just have to conduct myself better to your standards.” Discord said, still acting quite calm.
“Noted? Discord, sheesh, stop acting. We all know what’s going to happen. And I’m warning you, if it does happen, then I’m done living with you. We can still be friends, but I’m gonna stay with Fluttershy. That also means I’m never playing O&O with you ever again.” That should get him out.
“Also noted, and a dice I’m willing to roll. Now come along, Anon, take a seat. The Princess awakens from her slumber.” Discord said as he pointed over to the fallen alicorn, who was already mumbling and waking from her daze.
Goddammit, the hell was he up to?! “Discord, I mean it. Just go!”
“Too late for that. Just take a seat, Anon. And let us take this on together.” Discord says, as he looks back at you with a happy looking grin.
Man, the hell was he on? You’d say he was just being his usual asshole self, but the threat of not playing O&O didn’t even phase him. It made you curious, that’s for damn sure, so you decided to take Rarity’s seat as you prepped yourself both for this talk and Discord’s shit. “Right… We’ll see about that.”
“Ogh… What a horrible dream.” Twilight said in a groan as she began to stand “It was so real. Everypony just being ok with Chrysal- Wait…” Twilight looks over to the Cutie Map, only to see you and Discord sitting and waiting for her. “OH NO! IT WASN’T A DREAM!”
“It surely wasn’t if it was related to her. Good afternoon, Twilight, it is a pleasure to see you. But if you haven’t already noticed, we have some business to attend to.” Discord said, being unusually polite yet forward in his tone.
“ Huh? Uh... Yes, yes, we do.” Twilight cautiously went to her own seat as she shook off her confusion, coming to realize quickly that something serious was up. She was still twitching some, but it was clear she wanted answers at this point. “Since it’s obvious she really was at Anon’s wedding, I’d like to know how nothing came of it considering even Fluttershy knows about it.”
“Because nothing bad happened, Twilight. In fact, I actually made a breakthrough. A friendship breakthrough.” That should be a term she should understand. Just gotta hope Discord doesn’t fucking botch it. God, you were tense, you just needed to get through this.
“A friendship breakthrough?” Indeed, Twilight looked both confused and intrigued. “What do you mean by a ‘friendship breakthrough’?”
“As in, he has penetrated the stone casing of her heart. He’s managed to find out that she has come to care about something a little more than just her children and her kingdom. Although, caring about her children isn’t such a bad thing.” Discord says… Wait, he said that? Where’s the snark?
Twilight, at first, was going to ask what he meant by that. But even she seemed rather irked that he hasn’t tried anything to torment her yet. “Discord, are you feeling ok?”
“A tad under the weather, but fine otherwise. But let’s not change the direction of this conversation. Anon, if you would let her know what you both spoke about” Discord said, raising and sliding his paw to the side to signal that it was your time to shine.
“I uh… Ok.” Really, really weird. “So, uh. Basically, we’re still friends despite how things kinda went with her kids. And it’s kind of clear she’s been lonely ever since that happened too.”
Twilight, further caught offguard by Discord’s lack of jerkiness, and interested in what you could mean, hazards the question. “What do you mean by that?”
“She actually cares about what others think of her. As in, she actually cared what somepony other than me thought of her. She had wondered if Diamond hated her. If she was still utterly evil and not wanting any kind of friendship, then she wouldn’t care about that. She’s starting to care, Twilight. She’s starting to realize how empty conquering everything actually is. Without friends, without her family, she’s just… Lonely.” And that, at least to you, was an absolute truth.
“And a little nutty to boot, she tried to eliminate Anon as soon as she got there.” Discord added. And goddammit, there it was.
“DISCORD! DAMMIT! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT PART!” You barked at him.
“She did what?! I knew it! I knew there was more to it than that! How could you defend her, or… Even make things up if she was trying to end you, Anon? Are you that deluded?! That crazy?! You’re also somepony I have to protect, Anon, along with everypony else. And I can’t do that if you’re lying about somepony as dangerous as Chrysalis being ‘friendly’ in anyway. If she’s willing to try to strike you down, then she’d do anything to get her revenge against Princess Celestia. How do you not realize that?!” Twilight wasn’t having any of it now. She was now sure that you were going off the deep end trying to defend someone who couldn’t be saved.
“Well, that last part may have been true had she wanted revenge on Celestia at that point. No, her sights were purely set on Anon. And yet, despite that, there he stands. Of course, you probably think there isn’t too much truth to this, but I beg to differ just due to the simple fact that even Spike knows about that little detail, as does Starlight. And then you must think why Anon would hide this fact from you despite others knowing. Well, I’ll tell you. The reason why is because of how you always seem to react whenever Chrysalis is involved. Always negative, always losing your nerve. And the same could be said about anypony you saw as a villain when it comes to this particular behavior. You didn’t even take the time to ask why Anon is still here despite her attempt to eliminate him. Well, to put it simply, she was a distraught mother who lost her mind and was taking extreme measures to somehow reclaim what she lost, not realizing that she was going to end something near and dear to her heart. You should have some knowledge on how that feels like, Twilight, although being tardy isn’t very equivalent to losing one’s family, even if said family is better off.” Discord said, in such a way that you were as flabbergasted as Twilight when it came to his very sound logic.
Discord was actually spearheading this thing really damn well. And although that was the reason you didn’t tell Twilight, it was so overwhelmingly weird that the guy who suggested not telling her did tell her while putting it in a way that she couldn’t argue it. Also, maybe it wasn't so bad he mentioned it? Thinking on it, Spike or Starlight would have probably eventually told her. And oh boy, shit would have really hit the fan then.
“I… uhm… So… Ahrmn… That was something that may have happened and... “ Twilight had to stop herself, and really give it some thought. If you were still here, and if no one at the wedding was attacked or mind controlled, then it meant that this really was the truth. She realized that you must have gotten through to her in some way to make her not want to end you. Twilight began to enter a realm of deeper thought as minutes began to pass. She knew you did have a knack for reforming ponies. And although she doesn’t know of your attempt on Suri, she knew for damn sure that reforming Tempest Shadow was as amazing as reforming Starlight. Indeed, you did have quite a little reformation record going on for yourself, enough for Twilight’s arguments to crumble. “So does this mean she wants to reform?”
Man, maybe you were the one who was dreaming. Discord was actually helping? Twilight seemed to be folding? How did this happen? “I’m getting there, which is why I wanted to have support from the four princesses. I want to show Chrysalis that despite her doing evil stuff in the past, she can be forgiven. She doesn’t even really have to change her personality, all she has to do is learn that evil and conquering things is wrong. Heck, we’d know if she was willing if she transforms like her children did. In fact, if that's not enough to convince you…” Here we go, Anon. “Well, you promised that if she wanted to reform, that you’d be ok with it. Well, I’m asking for your help with this, Twilight. This is the last time I’ll attempt this, but I’m going to give it all my heart. I know I can do it, just like I have before.”
“Promise? Oh…” Twilight’s ears dropped when she realized, long ago, she did in fact make such a promise.
“Hmm? I don’t mean any hostility. But is there a problem with keeping a promise?” Discord asked.
“No, I just realize how crazy this all actually is. But not a bad crazy. I realize now that I came into this conversation being very unreasonable. And even then, I never thought I’d hear that Queen Chrysalis was actually considering reforming. It’s bizarre to think about, but it’d be wrong of me to not want that to happen or not help it along. The only thing that really bothers me though, is if she is just tricking you all. Like I’ve mentioned, the well-being of every pony falls upon me and the other princesses. However, maybe I shouldn’t think of the worst possible scenario, we’ve all seen what happens when I do that, right? Ummm... I… I think I can go along with this, Anon. As long as you have a plan, and she continues to show progress, then I think it’ll actually be ok. But if it isn’t… Then you know the princesses and I would have to stop her, right?” Twilight said. She seemed so unsure, but she finally, FINALLY, budged on the situation. And hell, you could keep Chrysalis in check to make sure that doesn’t happen, you knew you could.
Well, you hoped… “I know. I…” Was she really willing to make good on that promise? “So you’ll let me do my thing, really?”
Twilight nods “I promised to let you do your thing, right? A crazy promise from a crazy princess. Hahaha...Ha.” Twilight looks to Discord and waves her hoof rather frantically at him “Although, not the kind of crazy who enjoys chaotic antics! Just uh, what I mean was… Um.”
“What you meant was to be endearing and not seem hostile towards Anon, am I correct?” Discord says, with no hint of malice.
“Yeah… That’s exactly it.” Twilight began to look at Discord with growing concern. She had heard what had happened to him when he went and tried to act overly organized and orderly, and it very much seemed he was trying to do that again. Something, as she understood, was his own form of crazy that could very well end him. “Discord, are you sure you’re alright? I’m serious, if there’s something wrong, you can tell me.” As much as she found him mischievous and mean at times, she didn’t want to see him sick or hurt.
“I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine. In any case, Anon, are we done here? I would like to have one last private chat with you before I go.” Discord said, this time with a tiny cough. No, wait. That politeness, lack of chaos, overly caring. That wasn’t Discord…
Oh damn…
“Yeah, yeah… Sure. Um, sorry to leave so suddenly Twilight, I kind of have other things to do. I uhh…” Just be polite, Anon, just be polite. You got what you wanted, and you already knew you had little time to do what Discord wanted to do. You get up, and do a polite bow to her. “T-thank you very much for giving me this chance. I promise to you and to myself that this time, I’ll make it work.”
“O-oh, you don’t have to bow to me. Anon, I’ll put my faith in you this time. Thinking about it now, heh, we wouldn’t even be here right now if you didn’t reform Tempest, right? Chain of events, helpful allies, not obliterated by a giant storm laser. Do you know what I-” Twilight, in her neurotic ramblings, didn’t notice until now that you and Discord had already left. “O-oh… Ok then. Ugh…” Twilight let’s out a heavy sigh and let’s her head slam down on the cutie map. “Good job, Twilight, you lost your head. Yooooouuuuuuu lost your head. Can you do this again? Could you not lose your cool? You made a promise, and you have to keep your promise. Anon has been really good at reforming, that’s a fact… Sooooooo, why does this worry you so much? Mnnn, I need to write a letter to Princess Celestia…”
Upon stepping out of the front doors of the castle, you stand tall as you take a deep breath, more than ecstatic that everything went so well. “Fuck… I can’t believe that actually went well.”
“Was there any doubt? Twilight isn’t too unreasonable a pony, she’s just very neurotic at times. Either way though, I’m glad I was able to lend my assistance to you and make sure this all went smoothly. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go somewhere and rest my eyes for a little while.” Discord states as he takes a stretch, exerting himself a little too much as you hear a few snaps in his bones.
Man, as you looked at him, you noticed parts of his body were starting to crack, revealing a more withered body within. You were sure now that this wasn’t truly Discord, but one of his clones. And since Five can’t talk… “I know it’s you, Four.”
Discord, or rather, Four only looks mildly surprised as he snaps his talons at the fact he was discovered. “Aha, seems you truly are more perceptive than you appear. Well done, Anon, I do hope this doesn’t make you think less of my originator. By which I mean that’d I’d come to help rather than him.”
“More like I’m wondering why you’re here at all. I thought you were spending your final moments with Scootaloo. Why did you come to help me?” You ask, appreciative, and yet curious as to why he was here.
“To make things brief, Five didn’t last too long after his rousing loss. He gave his goodbyes in the form of hugs and a trophy to Babs and her team. While this was going on, I too could feel myself fade from the scene. And as I fade, I could feel that our originator was feeling… Doubtful, and even worried, that you may not be able to achieve your goal. As bad as I feel about it, I made my own early goodbyes to young Scootaloo and her friends. It shatters my heart, as she truly wished for me to stay… And I even would if I truly could… But I digress. I came because our originator wouldn’t, simply because he was too afraid of overextending himself. He truly does have trouble resisting teasing Princess Twilight.” Four explains as his body continues to deteriorate.
Wut? “So you put off Scootaloo to come help me out? I…” You could say you didn’t need his help, you did feel you had some sort of handle on it. But what if you didn’t? Ngh, the way you yelled at him when he even appeared told you your temper was running high, and that maybe you’d have had a screaming match with Twilight had you made a misstep. “Mnnn, but why would you come help me on Discord’s behalf? I don’t think he really cared about me succeeding when compared to Twilight having a spaz.”
“He likes the latter to be sure, but it seems you once again forget that Discord does care about you and will help you when you need it.” Four says as he begins to flick off a few pieces of his ever peeling body.
“I didn’t forget, I just don’t think he does it as often as everypony thinks. Or at least would really want to help me over teasing Twilight.” You really don’t think Discord could resist that.
“Suri, Spoiled, your horn, allowing Chrysalis in his home when she overstayed her welcome, bringing you here, feeding you, and MOSTLY respecting your privacy despite his urges to pry. He even let you give the Storm King his punishment despite a rage most furious for what he had done to you and nearly did to Fluttershy.” Four explained to you, making his point. “He truly did well hiding his anger on that one. Finding out how badly he hurt you? Oh yes, he was willing to do things that would surprise even you. He thinks your punishment you gave him truly isn’t good enough, but he let you have it anyway, simply because he likes you that much.”
Did he really? Ugh, thinking about it now, when Discord isn’t being an ass then he’s actually being helpful. Hell, if it wasn’t for him, you’d have died during the final part of that test. He truly was as helpful as he was a fucktard. “Huh… And you came to just help me out because he was worried he’d foul it up? Really?”
Four nods “That’s right, just as I said.”
Ogh, now you started to feel really bad. So did Four have the helpful parts of Discord without being an asshole? Does it truly mean Discord himself is actually always there? Even without him here at this moment, it actually felt like he himself was putting himself out there for you by proxy. Hmm, maybe you shouldn’t give him a hard time about Ogres and Oubliettes. You could do him the favor of enjoying the night with him if this truly was the case. Ngh, really, do you even show him the same courtesy he seems to show you? Sometimes, but probably not nearly enough. “I see… Umm, Four. Um, thanks for the help, I really mean it. But how long do you have now?”
“A few moments, I’d wager. Without wasting anymore time, I’d just like to say that it was a pleasure to exist, to know you and young Scootaloo, the rest of your friends, and learn to enjoy a simple game of Go Fish.” Four began to turn ethereal as he outstretched his talons to you for a hoofshake. “And so, farewell Anon, try not to give our originator a hard time, alright?”
“Yeah, thankOOMPH” As soon as you touch his talons, you are blasted with a cloud of flour, turning your entire body white, causing you to cough and sputter. “What in the?! What just happened?!”
Four let out a tiny chuckle. “A little amusing, I can see why he enjoys teasing you as much as he does. Farewell, Anon, take care of yourself and young Diamond, as well as your family and friends.” And with that, Four exploded into blue sparks, his very existence returning to Discord, wherever he may be.
You wipe your nose some before exhaling to remove some of the powder irritating your nose. You then look into the vanishing light with a downhearted expression. “Yeah, seeya. I promise, I won’t let them down and-”
“G-G-HOST! AIIIEEE” Yelled a mysterious pony from behind, startling you enough to cause you to jump up and then fall on your face.
What in the? When you turn around, you notice a blonde mane, darkish pink pony with a flower in her hair. Lily, you remember her name being, and she was in the middle of falling over.
Christ, how the fuck could she not see you were just covered in flour?! Would have saved you a slammed jaw. Where in the fuck did she come from anyway? It was like her entire life was to just fall over from fright. Or maybe she just has multiple heart attacks. Who knows?
You also didn’t have much to do until nightfall. You could find Lyra and Bonbon and find out what they went off to do, but you didn’t. You returned home instead, to reflect and rest yourself after such a stressful yet successful day. You took the time to look around your room, and how cozy and restful it actually was, down to the enchanted and cuddly warm bed. A portal door, able to take you to any important place within Equestria, or places it has on it’s dial anyway. You reach into your saddlebag and take out the locket with you and Chrysalis… Or, you thought you had it. It’s not there, did you drop it? Or did Chrysalis… Hmmm. Heh, Diamond didn’t even really talk about the locket you gave her during the wedding. Then again, she seemed content just hanging out with the real deal.
Yeah, Four was right, you owe a lot to what you have to Discord. Hell, if you wanted to put it in a perverse human way, his shit that got you with Diamond guarantees you future pony pussy, so there’s that too. Really, the only thing that made you feel worried and uncomfortable at this point was the thing that was missing when you decided to raise your blinds. The X-Captain was still gone instead of being in his usual spot. Was he planning something? Or did he somehow get lost? You’d have to investigate it when you have unlimited magical power. For now, you had to get it out of your mind.
You could spend your time playing your arcade game and try to beat Big Mac’s record, but that didn’t seem fun to you at this point. No, you’d resist the urge to play any game and just relax and ponder, and let time pass until it was time to return to Twilight’s castle for an O&O session. Hell, you could even take a nap. But to not risk ruining your sleep schedule, you opt not to. Man, now you know why all that meditation training was so tough for monks and crap. Doing nothing was very tough and super boring. Still, you had a lot to be positive about. You had Twilight’s ok, Fluttershy’s ok… Hell, pretty much everyone’s 'ok' at this point. Damn, Anon, today really has gone well for you. You really wish Four could have stuck around a little more, you both could have probably had an interesting talk about Discord himself. But ah well, things will be fine either way. Just relax, Anon, and be fair to Discord. You were sure tonight would go as smoothly as the day.
As your alarm clock reached seven, you decided to hop out of bed and go to Diamond’s manor. An easy enough walk to be sure. Grabbing your saddlebag, you use your portal door to appear near town hall. As usual, the sky was blanketed in a beautiful sea of stars, a sight you always tend to enjoy.
The thing was, as you began to near the front gates of her home, you began to feel a creepy suspicious feeling of being watched. “Hrn?” Nothing past the gates, nothing above you, the road is clear, and the nearby shrubbery… Huh? You go to investigate the bushes, noticing them tremble as you grew near. And upon spreading the leaves apart, you notice a pair of adorable blue eyes looking back at you. “Diamond? What are you doing?”
“Ugh…” Diamond Tiara stepped out of the bushes, brushing herself to remove any sticky leaves, and obviously frustrated she was caught. “So much for being the stealthy Moonlight Garnet.” She pulls out a sheet of paper, and gives it a look over “And I thought I had everything well planned out too. I think I filled this character sheet out properly, but I just can’t tell.”
Wut? A character sheet? She actually got one of those? “Diamond, you have a character sheet for O&O? When did you get one of those? Why’d you spy on me like that?”
“I could have just th- huh?” You break Diamond out of her frustrated train of thought, only for her to realize that she must have looked so foolish getting angry about being found in a bush. she shook her head to and fro to shake off any agitation she might still have, then looked away from you, sounding rather self important. “Oh, well, all of those questions are easy to answer. I told Silver Spoon about it and we were both able to hunt down a rulebook of the game, along with character sheets, at the local hobby shop. We didn’t read all the rules of course, no way we could get that done in a day, but we totally made characters for ourselves and started practicing. Of course though, as soon as Silver Spoon learned who else we’d be playing with, she suddenly had to go. Egh, Daddy Discord isn’t even a bad guy, he’s just...Um, well… I don’t have a word for it, but he’s that. So, figuring you’d come get me soon, I hid in the bushes for a whole hour, ready to pounce on you like a stealthy thief. I think I did it right, but your barbarian senses must have found me out. Hmph, in other words, you got lucky.”
Ha! What the hell was this? This was as adorable as it was funny. Hell, she looked so cute, being flustered like that. And the fact she had the locket on? Oh it made it complete. Although, as you giggled, she started to frown before puffing her cheeks in anger. “Anon! It’s not funny! I tried really hard to be like how I imagine my character… I mean, I at least had you fooled for a little bit, right? I saw you looking around for me before you found me.” Her anger began to subside to a yearning of validation, to know she at least did some good for her character. Hell, you didn’t expect her to get that into it. But you guessed if she thinks you love it so much, then she felt that enthused to get into it herself.
“Oh, um, yeah, it’s just my senses, that’s all. But we’re not even playing the game right now, so you could call it my hero senses. Trust me, anypony else wouldn’t have spotted you at all.” You say in a way to bring back her spirits.
“Oh, yeah! You’re right about that… Um, Hmph!” Diamond once again raises her head, smirking arrogantly as she brushes back her mane. “Indeed, I forgot that your hero skills are super beyond amazing. As your partner, I naturally have amazing abilities too, the kind only you could see within me.” Oh god, she was trying to sound heroic while being arrogant at the same time. Your heart couldn’t take it, it was so damn cute.
“Yeah, I totally agree.” You walk up to her and give her a smooch on the cheek “You ready to go? We’re playing at Twilight’s castle after all, so it's a bit of a walk from here”
“Hnnn!” Diamond’s ears and coat perked up at that kiss, causing her to blush deep as she immediately went up to nuzzle her head under yours. “I totall- OH WAIT!” She raises her head in surprise, nearly forgetting about what happened earlier. “How did it go with Princess Twilight? Did she go with it? Is she willing to help?”
You nod to her, giving her a reassuring smile. “She did. Yeeeep, really didn’t have any problems too. Heh, gotta thank you though, you going right in really helped break the ice.”
Diamond blushes, and waved her hoof at you dismissively “I only said a few things. Though, I really was scared she was going to be against it, against you even. Was she really that stressed about her school? Does Chrysalis really scare her that much?”
“Oh… Um, yeah, it’s kinda both those things. Like I said, there’s a history there.” You answer.
“Oh. Well I really do hope everything works out. When Chrysalis becomes good like us, it’ll be super awesome to hang with her.” Suddenly, Diamond giggles as she looks at you with a sly look “Maybe she could tell me things about you even you don’t know about yourself. Maybe I could do something with that kind of information.”
Oh, you almost broke into a sweat on those words. Both from fear and curiosity. Sure, she didn’t mean anything lewd, maybe. But whatever it was, it could still be fun… Or not. “Haha, um… Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna be anything super informative. B-but if it is, well… I… Hmmm.” Best not to tell her what you’re thinking, don’t want her to learn about anything super lewd.
“Acting shy? Hm, maybe there are a few secrets you’re not willing to tell me too. I know about those kinds of secrets. We fillies call it ‘colt’ secrets, the kinds all the boys only share with each other. Well, I’ll know what those secrets are…” Then Diamond snickered joyously “Then I can tell all the other girls. Then we’ll all know. Meaning we’ll know all the secrets of the boys, but you won’t know any of the secrets of the girls. How absolutely scandalous.”
Yeah, not what you were expecting. Although, if you were a little more deprived of morals, you’d show her a real ‘colt’ secret. “Y-yeah, well… For now, those secrets stay safe with us colts.”
“And our secrets stay with us fillies. And I can respect that.” Then Diamond leans close so she can whisper in your ear. “But I’ll eventually find out anyway. But I really wanna get to playing right now, so let’s just go have an adventure.”
Haha… God, why can’t you just consummate the crap out of her?
With that, you both head on towards Twilight’s castle. Along the way, you asked if you could look over her character sheet. But Diamond was being coy about it, not wanting you to know anything more about her character until she actually becomes said character. A tease to be sure, but man, you knew to expect an Alicorn as soon as the game starts.
You both arrive at the front doors of the castle. Again, it wasn’t locked, so entry was easy. And upon stepping into the Cutie Map room once more, there sat Spike on Twilight’s seat, looking over some of the paper pieces of the game while making sure whatever sheets he was looking at looked correct. Oh yeah, he was ready to go. But where was Discord?
The three of you were seated at this point. Seems Discord was in the kitchen, according to Spike, making snacks for everyone to munch on. Although you haven’t played the game nearly as much as Spike, Big Mac, or Discord; You understood that Discord himself is usually in one of his best moods right before a session, so you didn’t actually find that unusual. No, the real attention was on Diamond, given she was a new player and all.
“So, Diamond, it’s really cool that you decided to come play with us. I guess that’s why Discord was really excited to have a session tonight, it’s like he has a family now to play the game with. Very cool.” Spike said, he himself seeming eager to give the night a go with a new player. “Really very cool actually, Anon usually do-” But as Spike begins to say that, and you immediately catch on to what he’s about to say, you bring your hoof to your mouth and twist your head to signal that he shouldn’t say what he was about to say, which was simply going to be the fact that you don’t actually like O&O all too much. “Does, um… love it when we have more players… Hah.” Spike didn’t need to guess why you acted like that, it was obvious you didn’t want to upset your ‘date’. So he played it cool, as if understanding some sort of bro code of sort. “Ahrm… Actually, Anon, I gotta ask you something.”
Hmm? He had a question for you? Actually, speaking of questions, you had to ask him if Scootaloo was ok, since he was with her before Four left to the castle. “What is it?”
“It’s about your dad, actually. Dunno what’s up with him, but he’s like, ultra excited about tonight. As in, he suddenly went kind of nutty and started working on a scenario for us to do. I've never seen him get so serious about anything like that before, at least more serious than usual for him when it comes to our games. Plus, he was being creepy about it too. Like, he was mumbling something about ‘I’ll show me” and something about one upping himself. Weird, right? Got any idea what all that means?”
Actually, no, you had no idea. That sounded pretty crazy, even for Discord. What the fuck was that even all about? “Um, actually, no. But Dad can usually be weird like that.”
“Usually, yeah. But that’s normal for him. This? I dunno, especially since it has to do with O&O. Y’know, because nothing about O&O really bothers him.” Spike was sure about this too. Discord loves the game, so for him to be bothered about any facet of it that isn’t an inane rule change was uncharacteristic for him. Was he just nervous? Maybe that was it.
“He could just be nervous. I mean, Big Mac is still out and we have a new player… Ahrm.” You look to Diamond with a smile “The wonderful Moonlight Garnet.” What a yutz you were, being corny like that. But whatever, she just did a cute smile and waved her hoof at you in a way as she giggled.
“Oh, Anon, we’re not even playing right now, you don't have to introduce me as my character yet. Oh! But…” Diamond slides her sheet over to Spike when she realized she still had to have her character accepted “Here, Spike, this is my character sheet. I filled it out myself! Is everything ok with it?”
“Huh? Oh, well let’s see.” Spike took the sheet and started to look it over, his eyes lighting up as he noticed something interesting. “Oh wow, so you’re gonna be a thief? That’s cool, we kind of need one for the group. But, wait, huh? Ohhhh, so your race is gonna be a-GAH!” Spike is taken aback in fright when Diamond slams her hooves on the map, looking at him with a massive stink eye.
“Don’t spoil it! I want Anon to see it when we do the whole world change thing! I’m really looking forward in seeing how he reacts, so don’t say anything else about my character, ok?!” Diamond was being heavily demanding in her tone about this, she really REALLY wanted this to be an explosive reveal. It was cute, even if her reaction startled Spike some.
“Ok! Ok! I got it! Erm, well, it looks like everything else is correct on this sheet, so you’re good to go.” Spike says, getting a now calmed and satisfied nod out of Diamond.
“So Spike, about Scootaloo. Is she ok? I mean, after Four and Five left?” You had an opening to ask, and you take it.
“Oh…” Spike suddenly slumps with a frown, tapping his claws on the table as he began to speak. “Yeah… She didn’t take it too well that he had to go. I mean, goodbyes like that are always really hard, especially since Four and Five were pretty cool. Everypony kinda just started crying, like we lost a family member. I-I didn’t cry of course, somepony had to stay tough and keep their head so nopony fell apart. A-anyway, um, yeah… It was pretty heavy. But I’m pretty sure she’ll be ok, she understood it had to happen, and she’s spending the night at the clubhouse with her best friends. And I gotta tell you, Anon, they aren’t going to let her stay down all night. So no worries, ok? Because I can see it, it’s worrying you, right? If you sweat it, it’s just gonna bring you down for the whole night. And being your friend, I ain’t gonna let you bring yourself down, just like they won’t let Scootaloo down.”
It actually was… Damn, was it that obvious that you looked concerned about it? Heh, you remembered when you found Scootaloo and the rest of the crusaders nuisances. Amazing how time and friendship can change your view on things. “Yeah, heh, that’s what friendship is all about, right? Thanks for that, Spike.”
“Bah, it’s no big.” Spike says, giving you a reassuring smile as he points his claws at you “I’m there for you, buddy.”
“Me too! As long as you’re with me, I’ll never let you be sad. And if somepony is making you sad, well, I’ll make sure their life is ruined forever!” Diamond exclaims. Hell, that was such a ridiculous claim that it was more scary than cute, making you and Spike stare at her like the sudden crazy pony she seemed like right then. “U-um, I mean, I’ll umm… Well, I can yell at them, right? I know Mother and Daddy don’t like me being too uncivilized… Well, mostly Mother, but I’d never let anypony hurt my Anon.”
You chuckle lightly at that, half nervous and yet half charmed by her dedication. “Thanks Diamond, just having you near me is enough to keep me cheery.”
“I know, I’ve been told before that I always brighten everypony’s day.” Diamond said, arrogantly so.
“Heh… Yeah. Erm… Hmmm…” Spike started to look around, feeling a little nervous after that, not as charmed as you were by Diamond's adorable nervousness. “So, how do you two feel about Twilight’s school?”
“Oh, I think it’s an awesome idea. Just about every idea that’s ever been come up with when it comes to princesses are good ideas.” Diamond states.
“Well, considering I’ll be attending soon, I’ve warmed up to the idea. Even been thinking of showing up in three days rather than a week. Gotta ask Twilight about it though.” You answered.
And just like that, a voice began to fill the room. “Ah, interesting. I wonder why it’d be in three days. Perhaps it’s because things would seem rather boring at the end of said third day.” Said Discord, suddenly appearing in the room as he held up two plates with these circular lids on them.
“Daddy Discord! Hello!” Diamond said excitingly, waving towards him. “I didn’t get a chance to ask you about the wedding. It was super awesome, right?”
“Perfectly average.” Discord says with a coy smile as he places one plate in front of Spike, and the other in front of you and Diamond, literally splitting the second plate into two smaller lidded plates as he did so.
“Yup! See, Anon, Daddy Discord gets it… And, erm, what’s in here?” Diamond asked as she curiously tapped at the lid.
“For Spike” Discord lifts his lid, revealing some creamy looking twinkie like things. “Gem encrusted eclairs.”
“Woah!” Spike nearly started to immediately drool as he picked one up and squeezed his claws just enough to feel it stop on something hard. “They look delicious, Discord! Thanks!”
“Of course, of course! Only the best for our brave adventurers. Ah, speaking of which, for our young couple, a delicious snack all the way from Anon’s old universe.” Discord lifts the lids to both yours and Diamond's plates, revealing… Oh shit! “Oreos with a glass of milk.”
“Oreos? They look weird, kind of like two black cookies with a cheap cream in the middle. Anon, you eat these?” Diamond asked as she gave one a cautious tap with her hoof.
DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT! “Heck yeah! You just take one, dip it in some milk, and take a bite… Mmmm… It’s still great.” You go through the motions as you explain how it works, and damn, did it taste as good as you remember. “Sure, they're cheap, but they always taste awesome. Go on, give it a try.”
“Ok” Diamond hesitatingly takes one of the cookies, dips, and takes a bite. “Huh, it tastes pretty good. The cream is kind of cheap, but it just tastes… Right.” Diamond then looked to you, a little confused “You really ate these, Anon? I would have thought you’d eat fresher looking cookies. Like I said, not that these are bad… But, you know.”
You weren’t actually listening to Diamond though, you had just finished dipping a five stacker into the milk and slamming it down into your mouth. “Mnn wamhat? Whamt yghu say?”
“O-oh, nothing. Erm… Oh no!" Diamond just then realized she had insulted Discord's cooking, and adjusted herself to thank him and apologize. "Thanks Daddy Discord. It does taste pretty good. I-I'm sorry if I made it seem like I didn't like it” She did like the taste, it was just the quality she wasn’t used to. But she began taking her time with it, unlike you, you slob.
“You’re welcome. And don't fret...” Discord answered, as his eyes focused on you. For some reason, he seemed to be getting a grand satisfaction from you stuffing your face with oreos. “I’m just glad everypony is enjoying their snacks. It’ll make the night even better when I reveal tonight’s campaign. A short one to be sure, as we have a newcomer in our ranks, but still one I’m sure will catch the attention of everypony. I’m sure the praise I’ll receive will be ‘legendary’”
“Well, what is it? You’ve been ultra secretive about it since you mentioned it. It’s not gonna be too tough, right? Because like you said, we do have a newbie.” Spike asked, wondering what Discord had planned.
“I know. Trust me, I made sure this campaign was very doable. Not just due to the difficulty it’d need to be adjusted for, but because a lot of it isn’t typically compatible with O&O in the first place. Well, not without my magic at least.” Discord said, his expression becoming ever more so cocky as he spoke.
Wut? “What are you talking about? What do you mean not compatible? As in, it’s all completely made up? Like, OC content?”
“Oh, it’s much more than that. Prepare yourself, fellow adventurers!” Discord yelled out as the room began to spin and warp. You and Spike looked confused, but Diamond? She was already getting super excited. “For today, we enter a new land! To defeat an evil demon king who has taken over all he surveys. Tonight, we save the land of…” Everything began to change, from all of your clothes and gear to the world around you. You all began to find yourselves in the field of a familiar place, with a castle wall surrounding a large ominous black tower, a tower that didn’t seem like it belonged with how scenic everything else looked. The area itself was dead or dying of unnatural causes, With the sky being clouded with a deathly brown color, as if the tower itself was a blight across the land. The fact that the tower sat way back near the edge of what seemed to be mountains suggested the gates also guarded either a huge courtyard or a town of some sort. You couldn’t tell due to the large drawbridge, which was up, guarding your view. However, You were suddenly caught in some nostalgic awe, as your mind did it's best to recall why everything seemed so familiar.
This couldn’t be it, this can’t be it, there’s no fucking way. Even Discord wouldn’t go as far as to…
“Hyrule!” Discord yells out, garbed already as Captain Wuz.
“Hy-rule? Discord, I dunno…” Spike, garbed as Garbunkle, said as he gave the entire area an inquisitive look around. “Place doesn’t look very O&O. And given the creepy ominous clouds, dry grass, and evil looking tower, this doesn’t look like it’ll be easy either.”
“Relax, Spike. It may look difficult, but this kind of place can be done by even the youngest of children. The only reason it looks difficult is because we are starting at the end of an adventure. Odd place to start, I know, but this is merely a test run for our beginner adventurer. Even better, I have given us items that will help aid us on our assault on our target, a ruthless demon king named Ganon, who awaits us at the top of that tower. And, being as amazing as I am, this entire scenario was constructed from an outline. Which means even I have no idea how it’ll progress, perfect for immersion. Now, the items in question are very special, and essential in defeating this evil king. I, Captain Wuz, hold the silver arrows. You, Garbunkle, wield the Staff of Wisdom.”
“Wha?” Spike looks upon the staff he is holding, and notices it to be a spectacular silver staff with a blue spherical gem at the top of it, three triangles adorned along the clutches of the staff that hold the orb in place. “Woah, this looks pretty neat, looks pretty high level too.”
“Ohhh man! Dad! Geez, this is amazing!” You were just taking it all in! It really looked like it was mostly based off Ocarina of Time, but more realistic looking. Holy fucking damn, this is the kind of adventure you wanted to go on! To actually go and take out a memorable and legendary villain like Ganon. “Like, what made you want to set this up?”
“I just thought if it was going to be a beginner’s adventure, that’d it be something most enjoyable to you. Which would make it easier for you to enjoy it with your marefriend. And there is certainly no other reason other than that. But I do have to know, on a scale between 1 and ‘Discord is the best of them all’, how would you rate things thus far in terms of aesthetics?” Discord asked, looking at you with a cocky look, but his eyes seemingly having some sort of wanting for validation, something you truly hadn’t noticed at the time.
“Beyond the best! I always wanted to do an adventure like this! Wait, OHHHH! Wait, so if Spike has got the Staff of Wisdom, then that must mean I have the…” You reach onto your back, and hold up a massive double edged battle axe with a silver blade, the handle being made of a sturdy gold material, marked with the three triangles of the triforce, with a red diamond encrusted in the middle of the giant blade itself. “The Battle Axe of PooowwwaaahhHH!” You also didn’t realize that this was a two hooved axe, as in, holding it up with one hoof was quite cumbersome. You accidentally drop the axe onto the ground as you fall forward, your face meeting the axe’s edge. Luckily, somehow, you only bump your head as if you hit a blunt object, and fall to the side of the axe with a thud. “Ow… Yikes… U-um, it’s pretty heavy.” You were just glad you weren't cleaved in two.
Discord just groans as he puts his paw to his face. “You’re lucky these weapons only slice through evil or this adventure would end as soon as it began. But yes, you have the Axe of Power. Which leaves Moonlight Garnet, and her Dagger of Courage.”
“Wooooah!” Diamond said as she held up her dagger, a silver blade with a strong gold metal hilt, the hilt adorned with a green gem in a triangle shape, surrounded by the triforce. “This looks really expensive.”
Wait, Diamond… Diamond as in Moonlight! Oh shit! You look over to her as you stand back up to finally see what her character was. Though, you expected an alicorn, that wasn’t what you actually got. What stood before the group was a filly with a darker pink coat than Diamond has, wearing a black tunic, shoes, cape with red fringes, and a black cloak along her head. Diamond’s mane was the same, if a little frazzled, but it was her eyes, mouth, back, and ears that caught you off guard. Her ears were now very fluffy, and slightly longer than normal. Her back was now adorned with black purples bat wings, her pupils were now slits, surrounded by beautiful garnet colored eyes, and she had small fangs extending from her mouth. Wait… She’s a bat pony?! A BAT PONY?! She looks… Unf, she looks adorable and yet sensual at the same time. Maybe that wasn’t the intention, but oh boy, did it turn you on. “Diamond, is that you?”
“Yup! Oh! Wait…” Diamond begins to notice on her own that her body actually changed. She looks back to see her wings, and begins to pat at her ears like a cat, causing them to flick about. “Eeeeee!” She lets out, being a little more ear piercing than it should be, but oh so damn cute. “It worked! I’m a Bat Pony Princess! A master of the night! Yeah! Anon, what do you think? Don’t I look oh so cool?” Diamond strikes a small pose, extending her right leg forward as she tries to look daring, but comes out as… Well, it should be daring but you had smut on the mind.
“You look so… Amazing.” You say, just...looking at her like a perverse creep.
“Well, of course. I’m Moonlight Garnet! The Princess Thief! Wait… That just makes me sound like I steal princesses. The Princess of Thieves… Wait, no, that just makes it sound like I rule over thieves. Erm, The Thief Princess! There we go, perfect!” Diamond says with a satisfied nod. She then notices you staring at her, she also noticed you blushing, something she had come to realize meant one thing. “Anon… Are you attracted to me? I mean, like this?” She asks, rather shyly.
You nod and answer carelessly. “Mhmm” God, she looked sexy.
Diamond, at first looked adorably shy about it, but then she suddenly got super angry. “Anon! GRRRR! YOU CAN’T BE ATTRACTED TO MOONLIGHT GARNET! SHE’S NOT ME! OOOH, THAT MAKES ME SO…” She rushed up to you, and with some kind of unholy strength, takes your axe and slams it down on your head, actually slicing you in half. Not in a violent way either, more like you were made of paper, no guts or anything. A spirit version of you floats out of your now vanishing corpse, which startles everyone. “Wait! WAIT! I didn’t mean to do that! Ngh, You said it could only cleave evil! Anon.. No…”
Spike just chuckled as he put his arms to his side “He’s alright, that’s just how we deal with player death. As for only cleaving evil, heh, I have a feeling there was something about Anon right then that wasn’t exactly good.”
“Indeed.” Discord snaps his talons, bringing you back to life as he has himself a light giggle. “Not the first time its happened either. But let us try to avoid player killing, shall we?”
“Y-yes, Daddy Discord. I’m sorry, I just got really mad.” Diamond said, relieved, and feeling apologetic for what she did. But holy fuck, that was yandere as hell! Geez, that was fucking scary. You expected she’d not get jealous, especially with the way she was maturing, and then suddenly she cleaves you with a fucking axe!
“Y-yeah, let’s not do that. But u-uhh, Diamond, I-I mean, couldn’t it be my character just falling for your character?” You say, with a pathetic and sheepish grin on your face as you try to save the situation. “I mean, this is a role playing session.”
Diamond just gives you a hard stare, no longer phased by your 'death' “No.”
“Oh, critical failure there, Anon.” Spike says as he walks over to you to give you a pat on your side for reassurance before looking to Discord. “So, Captain Wuz, what exactly are we doing? As in, are we just doing a basic dungeon run? Get in, beat the bad guys, get out?”
Discord nods “Exactly, however, our way to the town is cut off thanks to that drawbridge. And even then, the once bustling town of Hyrule has been taken over by Ganon, meaning it’s probably falling apart and filled to the brim with his monstrous soldiers. We’ll have to get past them first before we even reach the tower.”
Spike just rolls his eyes as his tone turns sarcastic “Oh yeah, real easy.”
Ok, so it sounds a little worse than Ocarina of Time, as you remember the town only having redeads, who were pretty easy to bypass. “Yeah, I’m with Spike, how are we supposed to get past an entire town of monsters?”
“Hmph, I’d expect that questioning from you, Anon, of course, but you Spike? Why the doubt?” Discord asked, feeling rather insulted that his friend, a vet of the game, would question the validity of the difficulty of his campaign.
“Y’know, just sounds a little tougher than it should be for a beginner’s campaign. But hey, if you’re that sure, then I’m ready to rock. We’ll send Ganon and his goons to the shredder, no prob.” Spike said as he stood tall, slamming his staff down to the ground to affirm his bravery and mettle.
In truth, you were still a little shaken by Diamond’s reaction to really give an actual reply. You tried to shake it off, but as you gave her another glance, you started to feel rather off. “Yeah... “
And Diamond noticed, and while she was relieved that you were ok, she had realized again that she did kill you, if only accidentally and within a game. She walks back up to you, and apologizes. “Anon, I’m really sorry I did that. I just got mad over something stupid. I mean, it’s just like dress up, right? You just think i'm cute in like, this costume, right?” There she was, worried over the fact you were looking at her as someone else rather than herself. I mean, in essence, she'd probably be hot as fuck as a vampony, a transformation you know that is possible without chaos magic. Then again... She'd also be kind of violent. Buuuuut... Then again, that's still kind of hot.
“Yeah… Heh, I just got a little overwhelmed by your look. Bat or Earth Pony, you look adorable to me.” You tell her, which causes her to nuzzle her head under yours once more, as she was thankful that you forgave her, and admired you for your love for her.
“And that’s a critical save.” Spike said, just enjoying the adorable moment from afar.
“Ok then.” Diamond says as she ends her nuzzling with a smooch to your cheek. “Let’s go kick Ganon butt! Erm, I don’t know what he is, but he’ll rue the day he messed with me, Diamond T-... Erm, Moonlight Garnet!” She proclaims as she turns over to the raised drawbridge, then to Discord. “Captain Wuz, any idea how we’re going to get that down?”
And with those words, it looks like the adventure officially began.
Chapter 82 - The Hyrule Campaign Part 2 (read end description for special details)
“Well everypony, I don’t want to be all pessimistic or nothin’. But how are we going to get that drawbridge down? That moat looks pretty murky and suspicious to go looking for a sewer system, and I’m not really comfy wasting my mass teleport spell on the get go.” Garbunkle asked as he looked over the edge of the ground towards the polluted and dark water down below.
“Hmmm, well… What about right there?” You notice a few windows going into the wall of the right side of the drawbridge. “That looks like a guard post or something, I bet the lever to lower the drawbridge is in there.”
“Ahh, but how do you suppose we get there, I wonder? Since we need to keep Garbunkle’s spells well stocked for when we get further in.” Wuz pondered, but his eyes wandered over to Moonlight, as he felt he actually knew the answer to the question “If only somepony in our group could fly over there stealthily and check it out.”
“Oh! OH! I could do that! I can fly over there, check it out, flip the lever, and backstab any baddies who might be in my way!” Moonlight says with an excited hop as she spread her wings to prepare for flight.
Wait… “Woah, woah. Erm, Dia-Moonlight… That’s all pretty dangerous, and if you get into trouble, we can’t really help you without teleporting in. Are you ok with that? We could figure out something else.” Were you worried about her? Yeah, even if this was all papercraft and magic, it could still be very scary and violent for her. And wait… Speaking of violent. “Also, what do you mean backstab? You’re really willing to do that?”
“Duh, I am a thief. And once I figure out how these wings work, getting over there will be totally easy.” Moonlight said as she fluttered her wings, and instantly began to hover as if by thought “Oh hey, this isn’t very hard at all! Look everypony, I'm in the air! So cool!”
“Ah, it truly isn't that hard for you, as your ability to fly is tied to the skills of your character. So really, it comes quite naturally.” Wuz explains.
“Neat! Oh and Anon… Erm, Conan, I’ll be ok. I mean, they are just baddies made of paper, right? If I could slice you in half without a problem, then those guys will be pushovers.” Moonlight tells you with an adorable wink, at this point, unphased by the fact she hacked you in two. However, you find your heart sink in pain from those words. You were that easy?! No you weren’t! She just surprised you… And uh… murdered you in a hit. Egghhhhh…
“You’re looking sickly there, Conan, you ok?” Garbunkle asked as he made a subtle smirk “Not getting another one of them splitting headaches, are ya?”
You just shoot a grumpy glance over to him, and grumble. Bah, as you said to yourself, a surprise strike. You could easily obliterate your own party if you were allowed the same chance.
“Ok, I’m going now! Don’t worry fellow adventurers! The glamorous and sneaky Moonlight Garnet will lower that drawbridge.” Moonlight announces with a flourish of wings and with the grandeur of a true princess. She then goes and flies over to the window, and like a cat, begins to slip slowly inside.
“So, what are the chances she can pull this off?” Garbunkle asks. “Not that I’m not hoping, but we’re toast if they manage to find her out. If there’s an evil army in there, they’ll slaughter the rest of us for sure.”
“Not too high. While I doubt she’ll lower the drawbridge, I know the lizardfos guarding the place will lead an attack force on us once she’s found out. Hopefully, she’ll rejoin us with no harm to herself so we can teleport inside while the attack force try to figure out where we went.” Captain Wuz responded as he awaited the results of Moonlight’s stealthy strike.
Wait… “WHAT?! YOU’RE USING HER?! WHAT GIVES?! THAT’S NOT RIGHT!” Holy fuck, you would have thought Discord would have been more caring towards the fact that the game could still be scary, especially for a young foal. “What if she gets hurt?!”
“I mean, Conan, it just sounds like a backup plan. She’s the only one of us who can fly, so if she does mess up, we can still teleport and regroup. Again, not really too keen on using that spell, but unless you had any better ideas, I think it’s the best we- WOAH!” Garbunkle steps back in surprise as the drawbridge suddenly falls, with Moonlight standing at the other end with a big grin.
“Gooooot it!” Moonlight said with a happy little hop.
All of you, ALL OF YOU, were fucking amazed that Moonlight was able to do it so quickly, efficiently, and with such a happy childish smile on her face. “What in the…” You were just in awe as Moonlight pranced over to you and pointed over to the drawbridge. “D-diamond?”
“Nooo, Moonlight! Oh… I see.” Moonlight giggled to herself and gave all of you a sly grin “You all really didn’t expect me to do it, did you? Well, don’t forget that I’m always the best at what I do. Three lizard guys, and none of them noticed me as I took em out. Heck, the last one exploded into confetti without ever noticing my silver blade. Hehe, try to keep up, we got a demon king to beat.” Moonlight just turned back towards the lowered drawbridge, and began to march forward ahead.
“Uhhhh… Woah, that’s… Yo, Wuz, uhhh… What kind of rolls did she need exactly?” Garbunkle was just blown away. It’s not like he didn’t want her to succeed, it just seemed really unlikely. “Because it sounds like she hit them all, including a crit on that last one”
“I’m only assuming, but about sixteen and above on all three. I…” Wuz began to look at his paw and talons in disbelief “Even I’ve never gotten such rolls consecutively. I have failed as a chaos spirit, father, friend, prankster, and professional dog trainer.” Wuz falls to his knees as he holds up a fork towards Garbunkle “Stick this fork in me, for I am done.”
“Uhhh… How about no? Come on, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s really awesome, actually. She’s like Conan's opposite. She gets awesome rolls where he gets utterly bad ones.” Garbunkle remarks, smiling as he raises a claw to express his point “And did you all see how cool she was about it? Oh yeah, I can already tell things are about to get amazing.”
“Yeah, they really- WAIT! I don’t always get bad rolls!” You contest those false facts! YOU CONTEST IT!
“Not all the time, but you’re kind of consistent about it, Conan. Look, try something right now.” Garbunkle does in fact challenge you, awaiting to see the outcome of your next action.
“Fine, I will. Check this out, I’m going to beast jump on top of the outer walls using the drawbridge as a runway to get momentum!” You exclaim as you scratch your hoof along the ground, preparing to charge forward.
“Oh boy, that might be kind of tough. I’d say at least a thirteen. I'm not really saying you should do it. But ok, give it a shot, let’s see what you got.” Garbunkle just stands aside, but looks back at you one more time to say something else “But just to tell ya, I was just messing with you. You don’t gotta take it that seriously.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’m taking it super serious to make a point that my rolls don’t stink. Now watch this!” And finally, you charge forward onto the drawbridge, and make your mighty leap.
And your leap isn’t as mighty as you hoped. You jump, yes, but only high enough to jump up and past Moonlight and onto the upper arch of the other end of the drawbridge. And with a mighty crash, you slam right onto it, and then fall backwards right in front of Moonlight, who just wonders what the fuck that was all about as she looks at your smooshed up face. “A-anon? What was… That?”
“...Humiliation… That’s all.” You say with a tearful whine. Were you truly that bad? God christ.
“And my faith in everything is restored. Come along, Garbunkle, Moonlight is right. We have a demon king to take down.” Wuz says as he stands up, revigored, and prepared for adventure. It seems even in dice form, Discord really got a good chuckle in his heart when you got teased in ways that tickled his funny bone.
Garbunkle just chuckles and follows along behind. “Yep, I can tell this is gonna be a fun one.”
Your party of four begin to walk past the archway of the gate and into the dilapidated castle town of Hyrule. Buildings either were worn, in ruins, falling apart, or somehow survived the initial destruction of the town. The gloomy backdrop of the dark clouded sky made the town feel haunted and evil, a far cry from what it must have looked like before Ganon took over. As you all stayed alert, crossing the main street, Moonlight began to feel rather spooked, and so she stuck very close to you for comfort. She didn’t even refer to you by your character name as she spoke. “Anon, this place is kind of scary. It’s like… Ponyville, but if it was just ruined and abandoned.”
You could feel her cuddling close, you could sense the fear within her, and so you mustered up some heroic bravado to help her relax. “Don’t worry, you’re with us. If anything dares attack us, we’ll take it down no problem.”
“Oh… Anon… You’re so brave.” Moonlight said as she nuzzled her head under yours. “I p-promise, I’ll do my best the moment a ghost attacks. I promise.”
“Hm, I doubt there will be any ghosts in this town. We haven’t been noticed, but I’m sure some of these buildings are inhabited by Ganon’s forces, living forces such as the lizardfos that were guarding that drawbridge.” Wuz said as he scanned his eyes left and right, bow at the ready for any danger.
“What’s with that name anyway? Lizardfos, I mean. Why not just call them lizard monsters or lizard knights or something?” Garbunkle asked, confused as to why the name sounded so silly. “What does 'fos' even mean?”
“Well, actually, this place is kind of based off the fantasy adventures from my world. And a lot of the monster names were like that. We had Wolfos, Stalfos, and Dinofos. And snakes were even called ropes.” You answer, not really realizing at all how silly that all sounded.
“Uhhhh… So were ropes called snakes?” Garbunkle asked, even further confused by such names.
And then you started to realize how stupid that name actually was. “Erm… No? Ropes were called ropes.”
“And so were the snakes. Ooooook then, not to rag on your world’s version of O&O or anything, but that’s preeeettty dumb. Next you’re gonna tell me bats aren’t called bats or something.” Garbunkle said, and boy, did he really say it. Holy shit, did Zelda really have such stupid naming conventions? Nah, it couldn’t, it wasn't like that at all.
“Erm… Well, they're called Keeses, actually. But they are basically bats.” You say in a half hearted way, starting to feel a little embarrassed that this was now all making you have this horrible realization. But maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t all bad. “But hey, that’s how the game was, even chickens had a different name, they were called cucoos. Basically, no animal took a traditional name in the game.” You explain, feeling a little more confident that you pointed that out.
“Really? So what are dogs, turtles, and rabbits called?” Garbunkle asked. He was starting to now realize what you meant, and thought maybe it was cool that this world had its own style of naming things. So thinking of some of his friends’ pets, he asks what their unique name was.
But oh boy, did your argument just fall apart ridiculously quick. “U-uhm… Dogs, turtles, and er… Rabbits.” Ugh, the look on your face could be misconstrued as a near death experience. How could you lose a debate over something from your old world? To Garbunkle of all people?! No, fucking Spike! Sheesh!
Garbunkle just looks back at you, rolls his eyes, then gives you a half slitted but serious look. “... And you don’t see how dumb that sounds?”
“I mean… When you put it that way… Actually, if you want a real world example, what about you?” No fuck this, he wants to make fun of Zelda? It’s payback time!
“Uhh… What? I’m a wizard, that kinda comes with the clothes and staff.” Garbunkle answered, confused as to what you meant by ‘what about you?’
“No, I mean you, Spike. You’re a baby dragon, right?” Here we go. Time to make sense of this nonsense right now. Because why the hell is he still called a baby dragon at this point?
“Well, yeah. Why?” Garbunkle asked, not knowing where you were going with this.
“Don’t babies babble? Also, you’ve known Twilight since she was a foal, same with Shining Armor. Now they are a mare and stallion and you’re still a baby?! How does that work? Doesn’t that sound stupid? Or do you really like being called a baby?” There we go, Anon, lay down that smackdown.
“Hey! I’m not a baby in that sense! And… Er… I mean… Dragons age differently? I mean, I grew up once.” Garbunkle exclaimed, feeling defensive over the fact that his title of ‘baby dragon’ kind of made him sound like a wimp. He felt that is what you were comparing him to, a wimp. “So there.”
“You grew up because you got greedy, and went back to being a baby when you stopped. So what, does that mean you’re gonna be a baby forever?” You say as you began to smirk, feeling you actually won this argument.
“Ok, ok… Sorry, I shouldn’t have insulted your game. C-can we just drop it? And er, never use the word ‘baby’ in that context? Really doesn’t do anything good for my image.” Garbunkle finally realized he had lost, and now knew his complaining about names and titles were rather misplaced when it came to his own. He then mutters under his breath. "Geez bro, way to take things way too personally"
“Will you two hush? Look over there, at the town center.” Wuz said as he dashed off and away from the main street, and hid behind a building as he beckoned to the three of you to hide beside him. “Small pig creatures are dancing around that statue, and I’m sure they’d hate to be interrupted.”
Oh shit, no wonder there weren’t any enemies about, they seemed to be having a party in the town center! There were small pig creatures, standing upright, still made of paper of course, sitting, drinking, and dancing around a statue of a large menacing pig man holding a trident, garbed in a black armor with a stone cape, his expression filled with cruelty and hatred. “Oh geez, those are bokoblins. And that statue? That’s Ganon. They must be doing some sort of tribute to him or something.”
“Wow, for being a pig, he actually looks kind of scary. No wonder they call him the Demon King. Ok, so most of the baddies are having a party, so does that mean we just take the long way around to avoid em’?” Garbunkle asked, knowing going straight into battle against such a large group would be a fatal mistake.
“That would be the wisest idea. Although, if we get caught taking the long way around, we’ll be backed against the outer walls of the town. We’ll have to be extra careful, and make sure not to alert any suspicion. Moonlight, you will need to have your smoke bombs ready. If we get caught, we’ll need to raise our chances to… Wait a moment, where is Moonlight?” Wuz looked around, noticing Moonlight had suddenly left the group.
“Oh no! She’s walking right towards them! What is she doing?! MO-GADFASGF” You were about to yell to Moonlight to get her back to the group, but Garbunkle grabs onto your mouth to keep you from screaming your name out and alerting everyone in the town of your location.
“Conan! Relax! Hold on! Didn’t you two notice? She’s wearing some weird armor, probably belonged to those lizardfos guys she beat. I think she’s going to try to trick them to get us through the middle of town.” Garbunkle said, with a strange sense of optimism you nor Wuz had. Seems Moonlight was no longer scared of the town now that goofy looking paper pig monsters ruined the spooky aura of the area.
“...Or she’ll get herself killed! How is she supposed to handle that many Bokoblin?!” Like how the fuck could he hold you back at a time like this?! What the hell was Moonlight thinking?!
“Actually, we would most likely successfully rescue her… Then get obliterated. So yes, Garbunkle, what gives?” Wuz asked, he too confused and annoyed that Garbunkle would seemingly be alright with the entire campaign being fucked.
“Come on guys, look at the amazing rolls she must have gotten to bring down those goons guarding the drawbridge. She has an amazing charisma stat and natural diplomacy due to being a princess. She’ll most likely be getting at least a plus four on her rolls. All we gotta do is believe, and I’m sure she’ll make it happen.” Oh yeah, he was putting A LITTLE too much faith into Moonlight. You don’t know what got into her all of a sudden, but holy shit, now was not the time to push RNGesus.
“Misplaced… But, this is O&O, if that’s how she wants to play her character, then fine, we’ll stand at the ready, ready to rescue the damsel.” Wuz said, prepping his bow and ready to jump in to save Moonlight the moment there was danger.
“Cripes… We’re gonna get murdered, I swear…” You say as you stand back, readying your axe.
“Come on guys, we just gotta stay optimistic. I got a shield spell ready to go the moment things go sour. Captain Wuz, you just pelt them with arrows while Conan rushes in and grabs Moonlight. If we stick to the plan, we might be able to make something happen, ok? Stay positive.” Garbunkle tells you both, hoping to raise the morale of the team.
“Oh trust me, I’m not willing to let those greasy bacon bits lay a finger on her. And I’m sure Conan feels the same way…” Wuz say, with determination in his voice. But then suddenly, the seriousness in Wuz’s eyes leave him as he looks to you both with a need for an answer. “I don’t sound too cheesy, do I? I feel things have suddenly become much more serious than when we ever fought the likes of the ‘Squizard’”
“Nah, you're fine. Given how everything looks darker and moody, it fits the tone.” Garbunkle said as he gave Wuz a thumbs up.
“What?! How could you guys suddenly not take this so seriously?!” Like what the hell?! Discord you could understand, but what the fuck Spike?!
“Uhh… Dude, we can’t actually perish, remember? You got sliced by your marefriend, like, ten minutes ago, and you’re totally fine. But man, I do not feel like losing this campaign, I’m excited to see what the final battle is gonna be like.” Garbunkle said, as he filled with excitement over the thought of taking on Ganon.
You? God, why did he have to remind you how easily you got sliced? “... Yeah, whatever… Let’s just be ready… Ok?”
As for Moonlight herself, she walked up to the Bokoblins, still in the middle of their ritual, and hailed them with a deep and grunting voice. “Hello fellow monsters, I am a lizardfos… A lizardfos with news!”
All three of you slapped your hooves and claws to your faces. Holy fuck, this was already a trainwreck.
The Bokoblins all stop their dance, and silence fills the air as they stare at Moonlight with suspicion. One Bokoblin with a jeweled adorned blue helmet stepped up to her and asked “You no look like lizardfos, who are you?”
“Uhh, A lizardfos who was born… differently?” Oh man, she was already faltering.
The Bokoblin just lunged forward and removed the helmet from her head, and squealed as he pointed towards Moonlight. “INTRUDER! INTRUDER! READY SPEARS AND SWORDS! SKEWER THE INTRUDER!”
Moonlight screeches as she ducks her head, the small army of Bokoblin grabbing their weapons and jumping towards her for a quick finishing blow.
But suddenly, they all bounce back as a shield suddenly appears, but easily shatters upon the combined strike of their weapons. “Ah geez, I didn’t get a good enough roll to keep it up. Captain Wuz, hurry up and back up Conan!”
“Already on it!” Captain Wuz aims his bow true, and releases a volley of arrows towards the Bokoblins. He successfully managed to skewer quite a bit of them with his arrows, slowing them down enough for you to rush in and pick up Moonlight.
“Gotcha!” You yell out as you grab onto Moonlight and throw her on your back, running back to the group as quick as you can.
“Anon? Anon! You… You saved me! Just like when-” As soft spoken as Moonlight sounded right now, you all were now in the middle of an escape as the Bokoblin regrouped and rallied up to chase you all through the town, so you couldn't really enjoy her admiration for you. You interrupt her and let her know she had to save it for when you all actually got out of danger, and that a smoke bomb would be appreciated at this moment. Moonlight, regaining her senses, nods and throws down one to make evading the chasing hoard that much easier. Unfortunately, the smoke produced from the bomb wasn’t too dense. In a last ditch idea, you four venture into an abandoned shop in hopes you wouldn’t be noticed. It was dangerous as it would leave you all cornered, but you all had no choice at this point.
Garbunkle quickly locks the door, and peers out through a peephole. You yourself just take deep breaths, scared out of your wits as you put Moonlight down and ask. “Did they notice we went in here?”
“Doesn’t look like it, but they didn’t keep running either. Looks like they are trying to figure out where we went.” Garbunkle replies as he continues to look through the peephole “Anypony see any back exit anywhere back there?”
“Exit?” Moonlight says as she looks around, not noticing any other door in the old abandoned shop. “I… Don’t see any exits. There’s a lot of blue balls with ropes on top of them though.”
“Hmm? Blue balls with… Oh, hahaha” Wuz lets out a soft chuckle when he notices what she’s talking about. “Those aren’t balls, Moonlight, those are bombs. Interesting, we appear to have ventured into a bomb shop. Sad we are too cornered to really make any use of them right now.”
“Yeah, be careful. If any of those get lit right now, not only will they know where we are, but we might get blown to smithereens.” Garbunkle warned as he continued to watch the bokoblins through the peephole.
“What about this one? It looks like a cute toy!” Moonlight asked as she picked up a cute looking golden mouse like toy with blue ears. “It’s so cute and… Oh, hehe, that tickles! It’s scurrying on me.” Moonlight giggled as the toy suddenly came to life.
“Oh, that’s just a…” OH GOD! THAT MOUSE TOY ISN’T A MOUSE TOY! THAT’S A FUCKING BOMBCHU! “Moonlight! Watch out!” You rush up to her and grab the bomb out of her hoof, slamming down onto the ground as you cover the bomb with your body. “... Ngh… Why me?” Was all you could say as the bomb exploded under you, sending you up into the ceiling, and causing you to fall back down onto your face… Thank god for that passive head defense bonus.
“Anon! A-are you ok!...” Moonlight cried as she ran up to you, and held your soot covered body close to herself “Oh no... You’re ok, right? Are you hurt?” She said as she began to tear up, overwhelmed by your heroism.
“J-just my pride…” You whine, before looking up at her with a broken smile. You were happy she was at your side, but damn did you feel sore.
“Ah geez! Those Bokoblin guys heard the explosion! They're coming this way! What do we do?!” Garbunkle said as he began to panic “Guys, we might have to use my teleport right now to get us all back out of town!”
“What?! We can’t do that! The town would be covered in guards the next time we try to press through! I say we just make our stand here, and fight!” Captain Wuz said, unwilling to back down from such a threat. “I refuse to be bested by pig things! I will not have this adventure blow up in my face!”
Blow up in my face? Blow up… HOLY SHIT! THAT’S IT!
You spring up from Moonlight’s grasp and shake the soot off your body as you cry out “Eureka! I got it! I know how to beat them!”
“You do?! Well spill it then! We don’t got a lotta time here, Conan.” Garbunkle said as he saw the Bokoblin gather around the door, preparing to break it down if need be.
“Get the bombs, gather all the bombs, all of them! And put them right in the middle of the shop. We’ll get behind the counter, and when they get close…” As you start to mention your brilliant plan, Garbunkle realizes what the endgame is and finishes your thought.
“I light em up when they step inside! HAHA! Now that’s using your barbarian noodle, Conan. Alright everypony, they're gonna be busting through the door soon. Let’s get those bombs rounded up!” Garbunkle announced.
What followed were you, Moonlight, Wuz, and Garbunkle gathering all the bombs that were stored within the shop and throwing them towards the center of the floor while the door banged from the Bokoblins trying to gain entry. The door was sturdy enough to hold them back just enough to get all the bombs in place and get into position.
Finally, the Bokoblins break in, rushing inside like rats to cheese as they readied their weapons to take any living thing within the shop out. However, they stopped, confused when they noticed none of you were in sight, the only thing being around was a pile of bombs.
Garbunkle then peeks his head out, and looks to the mob of pigs with a smirk. “Yo, over here!” He waved to them, gaining their attention. “Sorry you guys missed the party, but we’re still willing to end things with a blast! Bomb voyage, fellas!” Garbunkle tells them with a evil looking grin, right before breathing out a flame that thankfully, despite it being a mere ember, was enough to light one of the bombs. You all duck your heads and hold on to your ears as the Bokoblins are caught in the ensuing blast, blowing them all upwards and outwards out of town as paper shreds. In fact, upon all of you looking around, the entire shop was basically non existent at this point, save for the counter itself.
“Geez, this is one sturdy counter.” You comment to yourself as you give it a tap, it barely even moved. "No wonder why Link couldn't even break wood with a sword, super sturdy."
“Enjoy the decor later, Conan, we have our way through the town now! Let’s hurry on to the tower before anypony else shows up. Also, those puns were simply terrible. Like, I think I lost my dinner after that. I’m serious too, just up and left and got blown to smithereens with the rest of the pork chops.”
“Or maybe you just had EXPLOSIVE diarrhea, Hahahah!” Man what a good pun, so good in fact that everyone looked at you like were a gross idiot and… Oh geez, ok… Maybe you went too far. “Erm… Let’s just go.”
“Yeah, erm… Anon.” Moonlight moved over to you, and whispered these words to your ear “Don’t ever say that kind of thing around my parents, or when you’re at a dinner party with them. I think my Mother would disown you forever if you said that... Or something worse.”
C-cripes… Ok then. “N-noted.”
And with that, you all ran back to the center of town, now devoid of the Bokoblin militia. After that, you head back down the main road, towards the tower’s outer field, where the tower itself stood in the back with its horrifying aura.
As you all crossed into the inner field in front of the tower, what was once a peaceful meadow was now a desolate plain of dead land and lifeless trees. The area itself had been evidently ravaged, as boulders ripped from the very mountainous region around the meadow were blown away, as if by a magical force that wished to display its strength. Even further ahead, the black castle-like tower stood, above a moat of lava, with a black drawbridge, wide and long, being the only way to get inside it’s gigantic doors. It was odd, there wasn’t a drawbridge like that in ‘Ocarina of Time’. So at this point, you knew for sure this was its own Hyrule. The tower itself had three spires in a triangle formation on each side, with a huge spiraling tower in the center going straight up. The castle part itself was menacing, with outer spikes everywhere, jet black in their coloring.
“Yuk! That’s Ganon’s Tower? Ew, so not royal material. I wouldn’t even spend a single bit to buy it if it was on sale. Who designed this place? A goat?” Moonlight said, finding the entire sight more than grotesque in her upper class way of thinking.
“I think that’s the point though. This isn’t supposed to be royal, it’s meant to look scary.” Garbuncle said as he stopped his trek, narrowing his eyes as he gave the tower a look over. “Weird though, no guards or nothing. What gives? You didn’t make it too easy for us, right?” He said as he looked over to Wuz.
“Oh, I’m sure there’s some sort of guard or monster waiting for us to approach.” Wuz said, bow at the ready.
“Yeah, probably. In fact, I bet the moment we approach that bridge, some big dude or big monster is gonna come through the front door. Question is, do we fight it? Or do we run?” You ask, brandishing your axe for a moment as you rub your hoof along the edge. “Because, man, it’s kind of embarrassing to have gotten chased around by Bokoblins. I wanna break something, something tough”
“Yeah! Me too! Oh…” Moonlight’s ears folded as she looked to the group apologetically “Sorry about that, by the way. I was pretty sure I’d be able to convince them to let us through. They looked pretty stupid to me, and I have a high charisma stat. I just don’t know what happened.”
“Bah, don’t sweat it Moonlight, it happens. You probably just got a bad roll, that’s all. None of us are mad about it, really, we all have our moments. Like when Conan made that jump earlier!” Garbuncle points out, making everyone but you have a small giggle about it.
“Oh right, that was pretty silly. Why did you try to make a jump like that, Conan?” Moonlight asked you, curious as to why you’d try to impress everyone with a mighty leap… Only to fail miserably.
“Uhh… I just wanted to get up high to… er, survey the area.” You say, making a false grin at Moonlight and hoping she buys it.
“Oh, that would have been a smart plan if you got up there. You’re so smart” Moonlight says, impressed by your thinking enough to give you a cute pat on the head.
“I’ll… Let you have that one, Conan. Ahrm, in any case, if we are to fight, then let us get things rolling, shall we? If we stand around for too long, then those in town might think to check near the tower.” Wuz, feeling generous enough to let you have your lie, says, wanting to move things along as even he was getting anxious about the silence in the area and the fact they were already noticed from before.
“I’m with the Captain. Let’s just get to the doors before something pops- Oh… Never mind, something is coming through em’. Huh, well, at least we know Ganon was waiting for us. Ah well.” Garbuncle, noticing the doors were already starting to open, rushes to the start of the bridge and prepares his staff. “Ok everypony, battle time! If we keep em on the bridge, me and Captain Wuz can just blast em. Conan, Moonlight, you guys handle whoever gets close, o-... Wait. It’s just… One knight guy?” Indeed, Garbuncle was befuddled as a rather large quadruped knight started to step forth through the doors in a rather sluggish fashion. It was donned in so much armor that it made it appear larger than what it could be, it was about the size of a taller and very muscular stallion; it’s hind legs seemed to be equipped with bladed axes for very gruesome bucks. But as imposing as it was, it really was slow, very slow. The weirdest part was that it wasn’t a paper figurine.
“That’s it? One dude? Geez, this isn’t even beginner tier. C’mon, I could blow that guy up in my sleep” Garbuncle complained, expecting a bigger challenge than some lumbering knight. “What gives, Wuz? It doesn’t even look like it’s part of the game”
“No idea, actually. I know the adventure has taken some life of its own as per my design. But that’s uh… Rather pathetic and odd.” Wuz was a little stunned himself at what he was seeing, then shrugged with a chuckle. “Ah well, it just means I won’t need to waste any arrows. Calm yourself friends, I’ll handle this with my regular iron blade. “ Wuz just calmly walks over to the armored horse and knocks on it’s helmet, getting no response from it other than it’s continuing movement. “Hello there, let me just say that I find it rather drole that you don’t seem to get the point of being an imposing guard. But don’t worry, I’ll fix that rather soon. Hyah!” Wuz thrusts his knife into the armor of the knight, but it simply bounces off and out of his hand, causing it to fall away from the bridge and into the lava below. “Hmm… I guess he really didn’t get the point. Garbuncle, his defense is very high, would you mind ca-” But in a flash, the armored horse moves swiftly to the front of Wuz, and bucks him so hard that the axes don’t even get a chance to penetrate him, but the hit itself was enough to send him flying back past the group and into a boulder, causing it to shatter. And worse still, he just laid there, unmoving.
“Discord!” You yell out, actually fucking worried that the guy was hurt. Holy shit, was that a critical?! “Holy crap!” You yell out as you rush up to him, and check if he’s ok. “Yo, are you hurt?! I didn’t think you could take a hit that hard. Geez, he sent you flying!”
Wuz just looks at you with a dizzy look, raising a talon, and says “Mommy, I don’t want to go to school today, it’s still on fire from when I set it ablaze yesterday and I don’t want to ruin my perfect skin. You know what heat does to it.” before plopping down onto the ground, knocked out.
“Ohhhh crap.” He physically took that hit, and given he was in character, it actually seemed to hit him that hard without any of his usual chaos magic to dampen the blow. That bastard, how dare he slap Discord like that?! Well, it was an impressive slap, but you still won’t let it through. You ready your axe, turn around, and start rushing towards the bridge and towards the armored knight. Who, at this point, had to be a ponified Iron Knuckle. Oh yes, he'd taste your unbridled rage. “TAKE THIS! YOU ASSHOLE!” You yell out as you jump up, ready to drop your axe on its face. “HYYAAAA! THIS IS FOR CAPTAIN WUZ!”
You bring your axe down successfully on the armored menace, but it only cleaves a little more than halfway through the dense metal. “Ah, crap…” You mutter as you now try to remove the axe from it’s helmet before it made a move. Alas, you fail to remove it as the armored menace raises its head quickly to throw you up, then quickly turns to buck your body right towards Wuz in a similar fashion to his defeat. You land right beside him, twitching. “O-gh, g-guys… That thing… is tough.”. Luckily, or unluckily, you were a barbarian, and so you still had enough in you to stand up. Did you want to, though? That hit was really hard.
“Oh man, that thing is fast when it wants to be! Ok, Moonlight, it’s just you and me now. You’re a thief class, right? Do you have any explosives on you?” Garbuncle asked as he readied his staff.
“I got some bombs of my own, but shouldn’t we check on Wuz and Conan? I-I don’t think we can beat that thing by ourselves!” Moonlight said as she took a step back, the Iron Knuckle had already stepped three quarters of the way through the bridge, and didn’t look like it’d slow down.
“We can’t turn our back on it. Look, sometimes this is just how battles turn out. But we still have a chance, see?” Garbuncle points with his claw towards the axe sticking from the Iron Knuckle’s helmet. “Conan cracked its armor. I’m gonna try a freezing spell to slow that guy down, all you gotta do is rush in and slam a bomb right in that crack, ok? Once its helmet is gone, we’ll have a better chance of taking it out.”
“But what if I mess up?! I-I don’t think I could do it… Not after what happened in town.” Moonlight said, feeling a despair from her prior screw up that nearly ended the adventure prematurely.
“We told you not to worry about it! C’mon, so what if you messed up that part? You still got us into town with some really amazing rolls. Even if we get some bad rolls now, as long as it doesn’t get close, we can still try again. Just trust in yourself, ok? We need you! Conan needs you… Er…” And that’s when he realized he could just say just a few other words that would probably give her the courage she needs. “I mean, Anon needs your help. So please, let’s take this guy out together, alright? We can do this! We can totally take this guy!”
“Anon? Ngh…” Moonlight looks back at you, she could see you barely getting up, and trying to get back to the fight. You looked so helpless now, like she did when you saved her. She hated it, she hated seeing you so weak and helpless, to know that you lost to something like this. No, she wouldn’t have it, not like this. She looked back at the Iron Knuckle, with determination filling her heart, and gave it a readied stare. “Ok… You’re right. This guy hurt my Anon, and I swear, I’ll make him pay! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU’RE GONNA PAY! AND I DON’T MEAN IN BITS! BUT I’LL MAKE THAT HAPPEN TOO BECAUSE DOCTORS ARE EXPENSIVE! NOW GET READY, TIN HEAD!”
“That’s it! Alright, here we go! Take this, metal face! Freeze Blast!” Garbuncle readies his staff, holding it forward as it glows a bright blue. In a flash, a shining blue bolt comes out of the orb at the end of the staff, hitting the Iron Knuckle directly as the magic courses through its joints. While not totally immobile, the Iron Knuckle was now slowed to that of molasses, its legs stuck with ice that spread from it’s hooves down to the floor below. “Ok, Moonlight, go for the crack!”
“Here I go! TAKE THIS!” Moonlight rushes forward, and throws her bombs towards the helmet of the Iron Knuckle. But her aim was so off, they fly backwards from her hoof and blow up in Garbuncle’s face, sending him flying back so far that he crashes into you, finally bringing you both down for the count as you both roll into Captain Wuz. “...O-oh no… SORRY!”
The Iron Knuckle however, cared not for any of this, but even with its dedication to move forward, Garbuncle’s ice spell still managed to keep it in place as it tried it’s best to break from its icy bindings.
“Ngh… I can’t… You hurt Anon. I... messed up. But if I don’t do anything, Anon will… He’ll. NO! I WON’T FAIL MY ANON!” Moonlight brandishes her dagger, and flies high up “HERE I COME! EAT THIS!” And like a bomb, she starts to drop towards the Iron Knuckle, knife held out in front of her for a dive strike, holding you in her thoughts to keep her powering on through. Amazingly, she successfully stabs through the crack as she jumps back. The helmet now had an axe and a dagger sticking out of it as the helmet itself looked as if it’d shatter at this point.
The Iron Knuckle now was moving more angrily, and once again attempted to free itself. But it just wouldn’t budge.
This was it, Moonlight’s time to shine, to be your rescuer. She takes out another bomb, and looks at it with hopeful eyes. She brings it to her mouth, and gives it a kiss. “For you, Anon.” And with that, she throws it towards the helmet of the immobilized knight. Unfortunately, her bomb flies off her hoof once again, and towards the entire group, causing them all to blow upwards, and then fall down on top of themselves, all of them groaning in pain.
The Iron Knuckle was now really struggling, and while beginning to finally crack the ice, was still unable to free itself.
“THIS STUPID GAME! THOSE STUPID BOMBS! THIS STUPID KNIGHT! YOU HEAR ME! YOU MADE ME BOMB MY SPECIAL SOMEPONY! I’M GOING TO SUE YOU! YOU HEAR ME! I’M GONNA SUE YOU WITH MY FACE! KNOW MY NAME! FOR I AM DIAMOND TIARA, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE! REEEEE!” Moonlight, in a rage and screaming like a bat out of Tartarus, flew up and just bashed her face right on the helmet. Or she would have, had she not missed her mark and slapped her face right on the ground, causing her to become dazed. “U-Ungh… Ugh… Ngh… W-why do I… feel a connection to Anon right now? I-is this love? or something else?”
The Iron Knuckle, with a mighty kick, finally breaks out of the ice. It turns its attention to the fallen Thief Princess, and prepares to finish her off. To bring victory for his piggish master.
“Ngh… Spike, Spike…” But no response, he wasn’t answering to your call. “D-dammit, there goes a… Heal… Ngh.” You slowly reach to your belt, and remove a single throwing axe, and with blurry vision, attempt to hit the Iron Knuckle to grab its attention. It was a long shot, but if you hit, it’d give Moonlight one last shot to do some damage. “Fly true, little axe.” And so you throw it as hard as you can. You had hoped for a critical roll, maybe enough to destroy the helmet, but alas, you only hit the ass part of the armor, causing the Iron Knuckle to only look away for a moment… Moonlight’s last moment. “DIAMOND! NGH… TRY ONE MORE TIME WITH THE BOMB! YOU CAN DO IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU!”
But could she? She was scared now, she just couldn’t hit the damn thing despite it being so slow. She turned to her back, laying on the ground as she looked up at the menacing knight. She removed yet another bomb, as it turns out, her last bomb. If this didn’t work, they’d all be doomed. “Please… Please work. I promise, Anon, it'll work. Hyah!” And she throws it… And misses. Not a critical miss, but it just flies off the side of the bridge. “O-oh no…”
The Iron Knuckle, unphased, raises its upper body up, and brings it’s hooves down towards Moonlight. Luckily, it didn’t seem to be too accurate a slam as she’s able to easily evade it with a roll. But even then, her morale was down. She had no more bombs left, and one good hit would most likely do her in. Essentially, if that Iron Knuckle could get a good enough roll, the adventure would be over. All she had left were throwing knives. She took them out to use them as melee weapons, but in her scared state, the Iron Knuckle found the time to attack yet again. Luckily, Moonlight was quick, and once again evaded the attack, but only out of fear of being hit.
“Please, I just need to break that helmet… So please, if anypony can hear me, just letting you know that I’ll pay you a ton of bits if you make this happen, k? K… H-here I go...” And with that, Moonlight dives right for the helmet, attempting to strike her knives through the cracks to try to shatter the helmet. Unfortunately, they hit an undamaged part of the helmet, the blades snapping in half on impact. “WHAT? I SAID I’D PAY YOU! FORGET THIS! I’M JUST GONNA POUND ON IT UNTIL IT’S DESTROYED! I WON’T LOSE! I HATE LOSING! ARGH, I NEVER LOSE! NGH! YOU MADE ME BREAK MY PROMISE TO ANON! G-GGRRAAGGGH!” Indeed, an old flame had reignited and burst through the heart of the young princess, filling her with a fury and hatred she had not felt in a long time. Sending her in a final desperate bid to win through a berserk rage “I ALWAYS… ALWAYS… ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ALLLWWAAAYYSS!”
The Iron Knuckle, unimpressed, simply tries to smash its head towards Moonlight. But she was still quite evasive, and with her renewed vigor, was even harder to hit than before.
Moonlight angrily latches herself onto the helmet of the Iron Knuckle, and smashes her head onto the helmet. She actually successfully lands a hit, causing it to crack even further. Perhaps… with one more hit. “STUPID THING! JUST GO DOWN ALREADY!”
But it paid her no heed, and tries to bring its head down to the ground to smash the latched thief into a pancake. But like an annoying bug, Moonlight easily scurries along the helmet to avoid coming into contact with the ground.
“EAT THIS! I’M TIRED OF YOU! YOU UGLY IDIOT! YOU’RE THE WORST THING EVER! AND I WILL NEVER EVER BOW TO YOU! GRRRAGH!” And she brings her face down upon the helmet again. And somehow, in some way, the blow was strong this time. So strong, it finally shattered the helmet of the Iron Knuckle, causing it to suddenly stop, and fall over, unmoving.
“W-woah!” Moonlight cries out as she falls along with it, losing her grip and rolling onto the ground and onto her belly. “N-ngh… Ugh, stupid thing. Why did you have to… Hm?” When she looked over, she could see the shards of the helmet on the ground, as well as her dagger resting by your axe, near the front of her. When she looked further, she could see that the Iron Knuckle had finally fallen. Her eyes went wide, she… She actually did it! “OH MY GOSH! I DID IT! I DID IT! WOOO!” She suddenly jumped up, excited and ecstatic, amazed that she actually managed to take down such a monster. “WOO! I DID IT! DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT?! I DID… Oh…” When she looked back, she could see you were all still on the ground, utterly defeated. “U-um, D-don’t worry guys… Coming to help!” And so she trotted off towards you all, to try to bring you all back up.
Ugh, sure you all won. But this had to be the most humiliating way to win... Ever.
“Of all the sessions, in all the campaigns, I don’t think I had ever suffered such a humiliating defeat. Yes, Anon has suffered many in the few games he has played, but me? Oh, I suppose it’s true what they say… It has to happen at least once.” Wuz said as he took a chug of health potion given to him by Garbuncle.
“Don’t even…” You say, annoyed at such a prospect as you take a swig of another potion provided by Garbuncle. “At least I can say I get obliterated by dice rolls. You? You just walked up to the guy and let yourself get slapped. For an archer? That’s more humiliating than anything I’ve ever suffered.”
“...Including getting cleaved in two by your marefriend?” Wuz says as he looks to you, smirking as he rests his head on his paw.
“I… Yeah, fuck off, you all don’t have to keep mentioning that.” You growl as you down the rest of the potion and fall on your back. “Whatever, at least the guy is beat. Weird that there’s a helmet under that helmet though, you think Spike and Diamond can figure it out?” Indeed, you and Discord had somehow ended up getting the most hurt, and sat back to recover while Diamond and Spike investigated the living armor.
“Ah, if you mean Garbuncle, he should be able to with his detection spells and Moonlight’s investigative abilities.“ Wuz takes a short breath, stays silent for a moment, then begins to speak in a softer manner. “She was worried there, once again fearing she ruined the game for everypony.”
Hm? Was he talking about after the battle? Yeah, Diamond was heavily apologetic for dropping the bomb twice. Luckily, Spike was pretty cool about it, saying it was probably revenge from the dice gods for his lame bomb puns. And you and Discord were able to explain to her that sometimes it just happens, and reminded her that she still took the damn thing out while the rest of the party was down. That alone was enough to pick her up and… Er, maybe make her a bit cocky about it. What was odd though, was Discord taking the moment to actually sound like a caring Dad. He’s done it before, yes, but this was more as if he had more of a… Family.
“I mean, two critical misses is pretty bad. That was partly the reason I wanted to quit myself, I kinda got sick of always rolling them. I guess… That makes me sound butthurt, huh?” Yeah, saying it now, it really did.
Discord chuckled “A little, but I can’t say I’m feeling a little burn on the posterior as well when it came to being crit shotted. It’s why, in the end, I love this game. All at the roll of a die, its own kind of chaos. But something is different about tonight, and do you know what that is?”
“Heh, let me guess, we’re playing as a family? Funny, I thought you’d save those feelings for if Fluttershy ever wanted to play.” You said, caught a little off guard by Discord’s current mannerisms.
“I did too… But I guess all this future marriage business has opened my heart to allowing another member of the family in. Besides, look how quickly she got used to the game, especially given her proper background. It makes me so proud…” Discord said as a tear appeared in his eye. He sniffed, then took a moment to wipe it from his eye. “She’s a keeper, Anon, for sure. Not that I would know, but you know.”
“Yeah, heh. Y’know, at first, I didn’t really want to deal with all this actual love business. But it isn’t so bad. Sure, I gotta wait for the sexy stuff, but at least she’s kind of traditional in the way love works. Y’know, loyal… Not cheating on you or anything. That sort of thing.” You say, looking to Diamond with a soft smile, actually happy to be able to be at her side.
“I know, probably a good thing she never prys into your personal thoughts too. Or else being split in half would be the least she would do to you.” Discord says, having a small laugh at the hilarity of it.
“Ugh… Way to ruin the mood, Discord.” You say with a groan, resting back and looking up at the dead dark sky. “And the mood this place is giving off isn’t good to begin with.”
“Yes, it is quite dreary. Though, it seems Garbuncle and Moonlight may have discovered something about our armored friend. Who knows, maybe their discovery will lighten things up.” Wuz said as he slowly stood up, wiping the dirt off his tunic as he began to walk forward, with you getting up to follow from behind.
“And you’re sure you know nothing about why it isn’t… Y’know, paper or anything?” You inquired. It really was odd that it was an actual suit of tough metal armor.
“Not in the slightest. I am interested though, very interested. It seems when creating this entire campaign that I may have let my control slip and overdo things.” Discord lets out a sheepish, and yet somehow confident, chuckle “Oh dear, it means ANYHTING can happen at this point”
Which lets you give out a nervous chuckle of your own. “Ha...Ha? And why do you make it sound like a good thing? I’ve already taken enough of an ass beating today, Discord, and…” Oh god, something just hit your brain that made you feel not only gross, but would kill any boner you would have had at this very moment. “Please tell me you didn’t go overboard with enemy types. I’d rather not be surprised vore’d by a goddamn Like-Like”
“Then you better keep on your hooves then, because even I won’t know what to expect at this p-” Discord stops when he finally notices what caught Spike and Diamond’s attention. “-oint? Uh huh, I was only being half serious about what I just said. But that is certainly unexpected.”
There was a pony knocked out within the armor, the helmet that was under the large helmet of the Iron Knuckle thrown to the floor. It seemed the under-helmet was indeed normal pony sized, though its reasoning to be and why it was used under the larger helmet was unknown. What was known was that the pony within the armor was none other than…
“Holy Celestia, is that Applejack?!” Spike gasped in surprise. “It is, isn’t it?! What is she doing here?!”
“Oh my gosh! Oh no! I called an element of harmony an idiot! Even worse, its Applebloom’s sister! I’m soooooooooo sorry! I didn’t mean to… Wait.” Diamond, in her fearful shock, came to a stop when she realized something. “I just beat an Element of Harmony. Does that mean I level up, or that I’m just straight better than Applejack?”
“Probably both, but let’s just make sure that is indeed Applejack.” Discord said “Her mane doesn’t have the ponytail and she’s missing the hat.”
“Yeah, that is kind of weird, could be a mimic for all we know. So how are we going to figure out it’s her?” You ask. Why would Applejack be in that armor? How did she get in there? Was that even her? If it was, it explains why the armor was real.
“Easy…” Discord immediately pulls out a huge megaphone and points it directly at Applejack. “APPLEJACK! IS THAT YOU?!”
“WHAT IN TARNATION?!” Applejack nearly shot out the armor like a bullet, her entire body vibrating from the gigantic blast of noise that caused the rest of you to cover your ears. Like holy shit, that was fucking overkill. Even with covering your ears, they were ringing inside your head.
“Hm, she said ‘tarnation’, guess it is her.” Discord said with a gentle laugh as he tosses the megaphone off the drawbridge and into the lava below.
“Applejack? What are you doing here? How did you end up in that armor? I didn’t even know you played O&O.” Spike was in disbelief at what he was seeing. Sure, Big Mac may have not seemed the type to play the game either, but he was still much more likely to play than fucking no nonsense Applejack.
“Play what now? Ugh…” Applejack groaned as she began to rub her right hoof in her ear. “What even was th- Discord?! What are ya up to this time? What’s the big idea knockin’ me out like that?!” Applejack immediately looked to Discord with disdain, and even ready to buck him the moment she saw him.
“Excuse me?” Discord said, looking at her with a now unamused expression as he raises an eyebrow. “What I’m up to is playing O&O with my family and Spike. And I have no idea what you're saying with that last part…” Discord then looks to Spike with a shrug “Seriously, I don’t, her accent is so thick.”
“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with the way I talk, Discord. And I ain’t fallin’ for yer tricks neither. You know darn well I know what yer silly game is and if ya expect me to believe that’s what’s goin’ on here then you must think I’m dumber than a cat in a dog pen.” Oh yeah, you could even see steam coming out of Applejack’s nostrils, she was pissed.
“But uhhh, Applejack, that’s exactly what we’re doing. We didn’t know you were in the game, honest.” Spike assures her while putting his hand to his chest like he was some sort of boy scout. “Discord, you didn’t do this as a prank, right? I mean, the only other way she could have ended up here is if she walked inside the pocket space. Wouldn’t know how she ended up in that armor, but either way…” Spike then looks back to Applejack, sure that Discord was innocent. “I’m not going to go accusing Discord of anything until I see some proof he did something wrong. And yeah, I know he’s usually shifty when he has done something wrong, but the guy just took a crit without trying to change the roll, which means he's been pretty honest the entire adventure.”
“And what does that even mean?” Applejack asked, utterly lost in what Spike meant on that last part.
Maybe it was that moment you just had with Discord, added to the fact you do care about him, but you really didn’t like Applejack accusing him without proof… Even if it was odd that she was here at all. “It means he’s been legit all night. And Spike is right, the only real way to get here is by stepping through the border between Equestria and this pocket dimension. Which then begs the question, what are YOU doing here? As in, why come to the castle?”
“Ah came to get some rest. Girls have been making a ruckus and yet Granny Smith doesn’t even want me tellin’ them to simmer down. No idea why, but it got me thinking the only way I’m gonna get any sleep was to stick it out with Twilight and…” Applejack stops for a moment, as if her mind was retracing her steps. “...Hrm, It was pretty dark out in the Cutie Map Room…”
“So what you’re saying is that you may have stepped in here by accident?” You ask, as that seemed to now be the most logical way she got into Hyrule… Although that didn’t explain being stuffed inside that armor.
“...Well, Hmph.” Applejack lets out a dismissive grunt as she raises her head in defiance “Even if ah did, it is mighty irresponsible to be makin’ portals in a place everypony has got to pass through to get anywhere in Twilight’s castle. In fact, ah think that was on purpose. Y’all still haven’t explained how I got knocked out and stuffed in that tin can.”
Diamond, surprisingly enough, was slowly and very obviously getting tired of Applejack’s accusations towards Discord. To her, that was already a second father to her thanks to you, and element or not, she would not have anyone speaking against him unless there was some sort of proof. But she remained calm and courteous, as this was still an element, a friend of a princess she respected. “Maybe Ganon stuffed you in there, he is the guy we’re going to smash after all, so it makes sense he captured you and made you his guard… A guard I beat, by the way. Yeah, he’s the kind of uncool slimeball pig that would do that sort of thing… I think.”
“We’ve also always played our sessions in the main hall anyway, Applejack. I don’t want to really take sides here, but you should have been more careful.” Spike felt like he was walking on eggshells at this point. To him, it did sound like Applejack was in the wrong, but he didn’t want to upset her further either.
“Ah said it was dark, didn’t I? And besides, ah don’t even know who this feller Ganon is and ah don’t care anymore. Ya’ll say it ain’t Discord’s fault? Fine, I’m willin’ to accept that, maybe I should have been more careful… Maybe. Now somepony point me to the exit, Ah gotta get my rest for tomorrow morning.” The usually stubborn Applejack was actually willing to give Discord a free pass, if only because she wanted to get some sleep. But you could tell, you could just tell, that she still blamed Discord and thought he did something underhanded to trap her in that armor.
“Hmph, before we do anything else, I think I deserve an apology.” Discord said as he put his arms to his hips, looking to Applejack for the words he wanted to hear. “I’ve been honest and yet I can tell you still blame me anyway. It's very hurtful.” Discord, of course, wasn’t truly looking for an apology. He just wanted to make Applejack do something she didn’t want to do for his own amusement. But of course, being the stubborn horse she truly was…
“I ain’t apologizing for nothin! How are ya even gonna ask for any sort of apology when me endin’ up in that thing is definitely yer fault! Yer magic, yer fault, Discord, and I ain’t havin’ none of it!” Fuck, Applejack really was pissed off. Normally, you’d probably understand as you’d probably be pretty pissed off too being stuffed inside such stuffy armor while trying to get some sleep, but you truly believed Discord had nothing to do with it and felt her accusations were uncalled for. Hell, you could even see Diamond was getting further upset by her rage. So fuck it…
“Hold on! Hooold on! Ok, Applejack, relax. I get it and I understand. Let me talk to my Dad, one on one, and get this settled, ok? And then we’ll get you sent back.” You tell her, hoping this would calm her down some.
“Finally… Thank you, Anon, at least you understand how important a good night’s sleep is.” Applejack said, giving a quick stink eye to Discord as she genuinely thanked you.
“Yeah… C’mon, Dad, let’s go talk.” Yep, you didn’t really like Applejack’s attitude towards Discord. Plus, as you thought about it, the campaign was already turning out more difficult than you thought. So you take Discord aside and a small distance away from the tower, and begin to speak one on one with him.
“Are you really taking her side, Anon? Are you serious?! If I was responsible for her being here, then I’d obviously being toying with her at this moment. And while I understand her not believing me…” Discord suddenly wraps a toga around his tunic as a rubber knife sticks out of his back “Et tu, Anon?”
“Relax, Discord, geez, I’m on your side here. Just be honest with me, you really had nothing to do with sticking her in that armor?” You ask, having to make absolutely sure he had nothing to do with it.
“Remind yourself that she managed to crit shot me, and then wonder if you had to even think of asking that question.” Discord said, tapping his foot at you impatiently.
Well, actually… That does sound pretty truthful. Discord wouldn’t have put Applejack in an armor only to be one shotted by her. “Ok ok, I get it, sorry. So, let me ask you this then, you just wanna force her to play with us, right?”
“Annnnnnnd why would I want that country bumpkin to play with us? And don’t even try to remind me about Big Mac being her brother, he is beyond compare when it comes to actually having good taste. Did you even hear what she was saying? She thinks the game is stupid! Why would I ever want to play with her?” Discord was flabbergasted, he really was wondering why the fuck you’d ask such a stupid question.
“Truthfully? We need a meat shield, we’re getting our asses handed to us and I don’t think we could take another beating. Given what we have gone through already, I don’t mind bringing her just to soak up the hits. Besides, she’s being a fuckface anyway.” You were irked by Applejack’s attitude. Hell, everyone was, she was just being a stubborn cunt.
“Anon!” Discord said in horrified surprise, even slapping his paw to his cheek. “Using Applejack as a meat shield? How terrible.”
“Wha?” You were actually perplexed by his reaction “I would have thought you’d be totally ok with it. What gives?”
“What else?” Discord shrugs “ I am feeling a large amount of compassion in my heart. Why, I’d even say your plan to use her like that is downright rotten. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t fully support your plan simply because it will be hilarious, but you really should know better... Ahh well, shame on me for not raising you better." Discord said with a snicker as he began to rub his talons and paw together. "Oh yesss, this will be top notch humor. Let’s see…” Discord pondered to himself for a moment, then raised a talon as an idea donned on him. “Ah! I got it! All we have to do is simply explain that there is no way out of this campaign until it’s finished. A lie, I know… But she’s such a gullible stick in the mud that she will undoubtedly believe it.”
“HA! Perfect! Ok then, that should make sure we get through this tower and whup Ganon’s ass without any problems. Now let’s go give her the good news.” Ohhhh baby, this was gonna be funny as fuck.
And so you both returned to the group. Applejack still looked pretty ticked about being stuck in some armor and trapped in a pocket dimension, though her tone of voice was considerably calmer by now. “So, it’s settled? Can I go now?”
“Ummm, actually…” You fake a cringing grimace as you shift your eyes to the side “Turns out…”
“That I may have REALLY overdid my magic on this little adventure. Seems none of us, not even yours truly, can leave until the campaign is resolved. Sorry about that…” Discord said with a sheepish chuckle, almost sounding facetious
“WHAT?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN’T LEAVE UNTIL THE CAMPAIGN IS RESOLVED?!” Spike jumped up in absolute panic. Diamond though? She was just looking on, curious as silent. "THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW! I CAN'T BE TRAPPED IN HERE! TWILIGHT WILL NEED ME!"
“R-relax, Spike, let me explain. It’s errr… Kinda like when I overdo my magic. Just uh, welp… turns out Dad can make the same mistake, right Dad?” You look to him, looking rather sheepish yourself.
“Right… Very embarrassing. It seems, Applejack, you’ll need to join us on our quest. Strength in numbers, am I right?” Discord says with a shrug, looking at her with a more dishonest grin.
“Ohhh no, I ain’t gonna get any more tied up in this rodeo. Ahm gonna sit right here until y’all finish whatever y’all gotta do.” Applejack said as she plopped her butt on the ground. “And if ya find mah hat, make sure ya bring it to me safe and sound.”
“Actually, Applejack, Discord is kind of right. If you join our party, we’ll have a better chance at winning the game. We can just kind of copy Big Mac’s character over to you, and give you a new name.” Spike explained, fully in agreement with Discord’s plan.
“I ain’t playing this stupid kid’s game. I don’t mind a little fun once in awhile, but this whole place is a fantasy y'all are wastin’ time in, especially with how important things are for tomorrow… Spike, ahm surprised at ya, y’know you need a good night’s sleep to help Twilight out tomorrow, she’s really gonna need your help.” Applejack said, stomping her hoof down to help emphasize her point.
“Stupid?” Discord growled, his eyes flaring up as he looked to Applejack with anger. Spike, just kind of looking away at the shame of it.
“W-woah, hold on… Relax…” You tell Applejack, but really, you mean your words for Discord as you shoot him a quick glance, still talking to Applejack as you do so. “'Stupid' is a little harsh, isn’t it? I mean, Big Mac does play the game too.”
“And ahm only really ‘ok’ with it because he at least is responsible enough to get his rest. Unlike Discord here, who is so irresponsible he trapped us all in here for Celestia knows how long. I ain’t doing with this, no way, no how. I’m gonna try to rest right here until this whole thing is over.” Applejack said, being ridiculously stubborn at this point.
“Don’t you think you’re being unreasonable?” You finally ask. Sure, fine, she was upset, but goddamn!
“Only one unreasonable ‘round here is your dad. No offense, Anon, but all this happening ain’t no coincidence. He loves to cause trouble, and given the fact we can’t even leave? Oh yeah, I know he ain’t up to no good… I can just tell.” Applejack says, as she narrows her eyes towards Discord, eyeing him up and down to see if he was being outwardly distrustful.
Fuck… Well, she did have some right to be this upset. But fuck man, she’s being a bitch! And looking at Discord, you knew he loved the attention, but this was the one time he was getting sick of Applejack's sass.
All of you were silent though, Discord though, looked like he was finally gonna pop off. But then, out of nowhere… “That’s it! I can’t stay quiet anymore! You may be an element, and Applebloom’s sister, but I won’t let you insult Daddy Discord like that! That’s almost like insulting my Anon! Also, this game is really really fun! How could you not want to play? Ok, so Daddy Discord made a small mistake, it doesn’t mean you should be all mean about it. And, everypony is right, if you come and help us, we’ll get out of here that much quicker. You have to play.”
“My A-, Diamond Tiara?! That’s you? Does your Daddy know you’re here this late instead of sleepin’ for school tomorrow? Oh gosh, Discord, are you serious?! You even got an inn-” But Applejack is cut off as Diamond hops up in a rage of her own.
“Don’t ignore me! And stop insulting my future Daddy-in-law! I will not have that in my presence! So now, two things are going to happen. You’re going to refer to us as our character names, and you’re totally gonna march your butt right into that tower! Or else!” Diamond barked, hopping up and down while she pointed at Applejack.
Applejack simply raised an eyebrow, she was in disbelief that even Diamond, the daughter of Filthy Rich, was somehow in on this. She thought the little bat was just part of the game, not Diamond herself. “... Or else what?”
Diamond gives her a dark smirk, and hovers upwards to whisper something in her ear. Applejack’s face, as this went on, went from annoyed to utter despair, her coat turning slightly white as her ears fold downwards, her pupils shrinking to peas. She then looks to Diamond, who went back to the ground with a cocky smirk on her face, and asked. “A-are ya s-serious?” In which Diamond just nodded to that with a self satisfied smile on her face. Applejack, now looking utterly spooked, just looked to the party silently for a moment… And then started making her way to the tower entrance. “Well, what are y’all waiting foreth? Let us goeth into this tower, ya’ll...eth” Applejack said with fake cheer as she walked.
What… in the fuck? WHAT IN THE FUCK?! Holy shit, all three of you just looked to Diamond with utter shock and surprise at what she just accomplished! How?! How in the…
“...How did you do that?!” Spike asked, amazed. “Nopony else is able to get Applejack to not be stubborn, so how did you…?”
Diamond just walked over to you, nuzzled under your neck a bit, and then looked to Spike, still smiling that smarmy smile. “My Daddy has a business relationship with Sweet Apple Acres, and it’s very important for the Apple family to retain that relationship. So… All I had to do was tell her that I’d beg Daddy to end his business with them, that’s all.”
FUCKING JESUS! “Were you really going to do that? I mean, over all this?”
“Of course not, my silly hunk of a colt” Diamond says as she gives you a sultry yet dominating snicker “I’m just bluffing. Daddy would never EVER actually do that, no matter how much I asked. Doesn’t mean I still can’t SAY that he would though. Now, come on! We have an adventure to see through!” Diamond, or rather, Moonlight said as she excitingly began to follow Applejack towards the tower doors.
Discord, still in shock, just slowly looked over to you and said in a calm fashion. “Anon, I expect grandchildren. Do you hear me? Grandchildren, with that soon to be mare, you better make that happen. You better make me a Grandadonequus, I swear.”
“...Yeah… Will do…” Like holy shit, that was fucking hot. OH god, did you like her more when she was acting more aggressive and kinda like her old self? Maybe? Ohhh, and that bat form… UGGHHH, just live with it, Anon, you only have to wait like eight more years… Right? Even then… Way too long.
And so there you all were, inside the belly of the beast, Ganon’s Tower. The main hall of the tower was actually rather simplistic. All the walls were a dreary jet black, as was the ceiling, and before you was a floor panel protected by a magical barrier of some sort, as three floating gems, colored red, green, and blue, floated around the barrier. Indeed, these three crystals seemed to be generating the barrier itself, and they themselves were protected by barriers representative of their colors. Under the barriers were a beam of energy that went down and then across the floor, each leading to a door that had Ganon’s mug as a frame.
But of course, the first word out of anyone, was Jackapple, who was bitching about the chainmail armor, small kite shield, and sword she was carrying around. “Why do ah gotta carry around all this junk? I’m a farmer pony gosh darn it, I let my hooves do the talkin’”
“And why are you complaining, Jackapple? We’re the ones who have to deal with your dumb name. Seriously, you couldn’t have come up with anything better?” Captain Wuz whined at her, finding her name unoriginal and boring. “Even I put some effort into mine. All you did was swap your syllables, very unimaginative indeed.”
“That’s because none of you were gonna let me keep mah name, which is a fine name, by the way. Now where is this Ganon feller? I got a bone to pick with him.” Jackapple retorted, looking around for the villain you all sought.
“Dunno, this whole place is kinda different than what we’re used to.” Garbuncle said as he looked around. “But I’m guessing that floor panel in the barrier has something to do with it, it's probably some sort of teleport pad or something. Question is, how do we disable the barrier?”
Of course, you already figured this one out. It was pretty obvious given your extensive video game knowledge. “We gotta knock out those crystals. But we can’t even do that until we clear each room that represents its color. And given the colors are the same as our weapons, I’ll bet a million bits that each challenge has to do with wisdom, courage, and power. So everypony, which challenge should we tackle first?”
“Well, I say we do wisdom first. We’re still tired after that big fight outside and I bet power probably has another big idiot for us to face. Plus, we’re all super smart, especially my An- er, Conan… Er… I mean Conan is pretty smart for a barbarian.” Moonlight says, with confidence both in her mind and heart, and especially, in you.
Wuz just snickers at Jackapple for a moment, catching her attention. She just looks at him and says “And what’s so funny? You makin’ fun of her slip up, Discord?”
Wuz immediately went from amused to a little peeved as he looked down at the paladin knight. “No… What, you didn’t catch it?”
“Catch what?” Jackapple said, unamused at whatever seemed to hit his funny bone.
“ANOTHER big idiot? As in, the original idiot issss…” Wuz begins to roll his arms at her, pointing at her to try to get her to realize that she was in fact, the first big idiot, but she just wasn’t getting it.
“You? Oh, ha!” Jackapple snickers “Ah get it, cuz you’re the biggest out of all of us. Makes sense to me now.”
Wuz just grips his talons and paw together in frustration, then points to Jackapple “As in you! You’re the big idiot!”
“Now that don’t make a lick of sense and you know it. I ain’t the one who trapped us here, and I ain’t bigger than you, so clearly she was talkin’ about the biggest one in this here room. Now let’s not waste time, you hear? We gotta go do whatever challenge they were talkin’ about.” Jackapple says in a dismissive tone as she begins to follow the rest of the group into the blue marked door. The rest of the party had already decided to move on, and had paid no attention to the little quarrel between the archer and the paladin.
Wuz just groaned to himself, slapping his paw to his face. “I...Ngh… Grr…. Uggggh…” He had no retort, he was just bemused by it all. And so, without a way to counter Jackapple’s misunderstanding, he too just follows the rest of the group into the chamber beyond the door.
Within the chamber was a similar looking room to the first, only this time there were no other doors other than the one you all came through. only three large stone tablets hovered side by side in mid air and some sort of blue colored magical generator seemed to be in the room. Though, as the last of you step through the door, it suddenly snaps shut as some sort of constant beeping noise suddenly fills the room.
“Oh geez! It’s a trap! How did we not think to check for one of those?!” Garbuncle said in a sudden panic as he looked back at the door, and gave it a kick to try to reopen it. “Were we supposed to figure out which one was the right door?! Are we doomed?!”
You already knew that wasn’t the case. It was probably just the usual Zelda puzzle on some kind of invisible timer. And given these floating tablets, the solution most likely has to do with solving them. “It’s not a trap… Well, it kinda is, but it’s a trap with a solution. Relax, all we gotta do is figure out what these tablets are all about and solve them.”
“Solve em, hm? What do they even say?” Jackapple said as she approached one of them, and squinted her eyes as she began to read the one in the middle. “What shows your reflection, and yet cannot be placed. It gives life, but takes it away if you pass through it. What? What’s all this malarkey?”
Wuz rolls his eyes as he approaches the tablet “Its obviously a riddle. It seems all three of these tablets hold riddles for us to solve. So I’d suggest we all start thinking before that timer goes off. Now, given my skills, I already have the riddle somewhat sol-” But Wuz is suddenly cut off by Garbuncle, who immediately announces his own answer.
“Its water!” He announces. “It’s gotta be! It sounds close to a riddle the Power Ponies had to solve to beat 'The Puzzler'!”
“Water? Puh, how could that possib-” But again, Wuz is interrupted as the tablet suddenly crumbles, which in turn causes him to react in disbelief. “B-ly… be… W-w… Ok then. But this next one is mine. Let’s see. What has no hinges, no lock, no-”
But you then cut off Wuz as you stand proud and smug, proclaiming that the answer is… “Egg.”
“Egg? I didn’t even…” But again, the tablet crumbles, further irritating the archer. “How?! I mean, from him… How?”
“Wow, Anon!” Moonlight said with a cheer, impressed enough to come over and give you a gentle nuzzle. “You’re a genius! how did you figure it out so quick?”
“I read it in…. Uh, I mean… It was just obvious.” You had to thank J. R. R Tolkien for that one. Oh yeah, sweet sweet nuzzles.
Wuz’s eye was twitching, but he wouldn’t let himself be defeated this time! He looks over to the last tablet, clears his throat, and says “Aha! This one seems the most difficult. But worry not fellow adventurers, Captain Wuz has got this one. Now then, let’s see… A strong chain that binds two together, and yet it is flimsy should the two become apart. And even still, the chain will remain strong no matter the distance… WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! I’m the master of all things chaos and yet somehow that makes no sense to me! And so…” Wuz just falls on his ass, looking blank faced as he realizes his own failure. “We’re doomed.”
“Oh Daddy Discord, I know you know that one, because without it, you wouldn’t be Anon’s father… And without that chain, he wouldn’t be my coltfriend either. I get it though, you want me to solve it. The answer is love!” Moonlight announces adorably, causing the last of the tablets to crumble to dust. With all three tablets destroyed, the beeping noise stopped, the generator in the center of the room falls apart, and the door clicked again with the sound of a lock becoming unlocked.
“Woah… Did we do it?” Garbuncle asked as he tapped the remains of the generator.
“Ah ain’t hearin’ that beep noise anymore, I guess that means we done it. Huh…” Jackapple began to ponder to herself as she looked to the now victorious party. Although she herself didn’t participate in solving any of the riddles, it did seem… kind of fun to have to try to figure them out on a time limit. “Ah guess that wasn’t too bad neither. Kinda… lookin’ forward to seein’ what’s up next. If only because it’ll get us closer to buckin’ that Ganon into next week.” Of course, due to her pride, she didn’t want to admit that any of this seemed fun to her.
“Well, since that went by so fast, why don’t we do courage next? We’re already super brave and stuff, so it should be no problem. C’mon, lets go everypony!” Garbuncle says as he waves his arm, leading everyone through the door to the next challenge.
However, Wuz kind of just stood there, looking forlorn at the events that had just occurred. It prompted you to stop, and take a few steps back to check on him. “Discord, you alright? You’re looking pretty down all of a sudden.”
“Me, down? W-why would I be down? Certainly not over the fact that I, the master of chaos and riddles, somehow wasn’t able to solve a single one. No, I’m perfectly alright with how embarrassing that situation was. Why would you even think I was ‘down’ about it?” Wuz says, sounding rather broken up, his demeanor being rather shallow and transparent to even you.
“Well, I mean, aside from that one riddle you got the mane six with, I didn’t really get you as a riddle SOLVING type of guy.” You say, which immediately gets an aggressive look shot at you. “Ok, ok, maybe you are. But come on, obviously you are at least a little rusty. And well, the first one Spike got from a comic, me from… I admit I got it from a book… Don’t tell Diamond that though. And Diamond probably got it because she’s really into this whole ‘love’ thing. So yeah, it was kind of stacked against you.”
“You think so? So are you saying had you all not known the answers already, I’d have been able to solve them all? Thus proving my superiority over all of you?” Discord said, as his eyes began to shimmer with hope.
“W-well, I didn’t say-” But before you could finish your sentence, Discord just stood up and walked past you, stuck in his own self-admiration.
“Oh yes, that certainly is it. I truly am the best, as if I’d ever somehow not be able to solve something Anon could. He’s such a boob sometimes, a lovable boob, my boob, but still a boob” He said to himself as he walked out of the room.
“Gnh….ugh… Man, shit… “ Goddammit, why does he always ALWAYS do that?! That fuck couldn’t even figure out the third riddle anyway! As if he’d ever be able to figure out any riddle having to do with love and caring. Sheesh, what an ass.
With one room cleared, you all made your way into the chamber of courage. This room was even emptier than the last, with it only being a short thin hallway to the green magical shield generator. Like before, the door closes shut behind you all and locks up tight. However, with nothing visibly wrong, it didn’t really seem like too scary a room.
“So what? Do we just walk up to it? Like, have faith and move forward without hesitating or something? Because I don’t see any other kind of trap in the room. Weird too, I was expecting at least some sort of puzzle.” Really, you would have expected a tough puzzle challenge rather than a walk of faith. It was a game, after all, there really was nothing to lose by simply walking forward.
“Are you sure about that, Conan? This room could be full of traps. I dunno, since it's based off Moonlight’s weapon anyway, maybe she should check things out.” Garbuncle cautions as he eyes around the room, not trusting its rather simplistic look.
“Me? I can look for traps too?” Moonlight asks, unsure as to why she’d be able to do that.
“Yeah, you’re a thief. Thieves have a natural ability to sniff out traps. And since there is obviously a trap, you’re the filly for the job! Come on, give it a try! And don’t worry, even if you accidentally trip one, it's all because of the game itself. Better to take a risk then just accidentally trip an obvious trap anyway, right?” Garbuncle reassures her. He was right too, if there was some sort of trap, then it’d probably be better to detect it rather than risking just walking forward.
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Ok, step back everypony, I’ll figure this out!” And so Moonlight steps forward, keeping a keen eye open for any levers, pressure plates, or false bottoms while positioning her ears to catch any sounds that sounded off. And despite expertly surveying the area, she notices there is nothing around that could trigger a trap. “Hmmm… I don’t think there’s a trap at all. I dunno what it is, but I’m super sure I don’t see or hear anything.”
“...But she just looked around, she didn’t touch nothin’ or really look at anything. How do we really know there ain’t no traps?” Jackapple asked, perplexed that Moonlight’s mere looking about could uncover anything. "I've been in a trap filled castle before, so ah know about these sorts of things."
“Ughhh…” Wuz groaned as he walked over to Moonlight “Sorry to break immersion, but the ‘paladin’ here still doesn’t seem to understand how this game works. Every important action is decided by dice rolls, and our little wonder here just scored a twenty.” He says as he gives Moonlight a congratulatory pat. "I checked myself."
“A twenty what? Y’all didn’t really explain too much about how all this works.” Jackapple said, still utterly confused.
“Soooooooooooo dense.” Wuz said in a sing song kind of way as he pointed towards the shield generator. “It means, and I put this as simply as I can, that by the game’s rules, she looked over the area with perfect precision. Meaning, there are no traps to BY THE GRIZZLY UNDERBELLY OF TARTARUS, WHAT IS THAT?!” Wuz jumps back in surprise, grabbing Moonlight along with him when a giant wall of green flaming fury suddenly appeared in front of the generator… And began slowly sliding towards the party like a moving wall.
“What?! I thought I rolled a twenty! You said I rolled a twenty!” Moonlight shouted in a panic as she looked up at Wuz, upset that somehow her perfect roll didn’t detect whatever trap was set off. “What happened?!”
“I don’t know! Quick, does somepony have anything that ca… Oh what am I saying!? Garbuncle, now would be a good time for a mass teleport!” Wuz said, even he knowing that this situation couldn't be dealt with.
“On it!” Garbuncle holds his staff up in the air to teleport the team back to the previous room, but all he ends up doing is teleporting his staff instead. “...Oh boy”
“... Did you just! DID YOU JUST?! HOW COULD YOU ROLL A ONE AFTER SHE ROLLED A TWENTY! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! OK, I CALL FREAKIN’ SHENANIGANS, THIS GAME IS RIGGED!” You shout out. How in the fucking hell can there be a one after a twenty?! How did the twenty even fail?! Is this really how the adventure is going to end? Boiled alive by a fire wall?!
“... What in the wide wide world of Equestria has gotten into y’all? I don’t see nothin’.” Jackapple said, just looking utterly confused as to what was going on. The hell?! What, did she think she could buck that wall into next week?! What a fucking idiot loon she was.
“Uhhhh, DO YOU NOT SEE THE GIANT GREEN FIRE WALL THAT’S ABOUT TO BURN US ALL ALIVE?!” You yell out at her, pointing at the ever encroaching death wall.
“Uhhh… No?” Jackapple says as she begins to walk forward towards the wall. “Ahh dunno if y’all are pullin’ mah leg, because ah don’t see nothin wrong. Unless y’all don’t think I know how dice work. Ah do know how to play games too, y’know?”
“APPLEJACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SERIOUSLY, THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO BE STUBB-APPPPLLEEEJJJAACCKKK!” Garbuncle screamed in horror, trying to rush over to grab Jackapple as she walks into the wall and is instantly devoured by the green flames.
Moonlight just looked on in horror, then hid her face into Wuz’s chest to avoid whatever horrors that might come with a pony burning alive.
“Did she just…” She really did, she just ended herself right then, right there. How the fuck could she-
“Are y’all comin’ or not? Gettin tired of yer games, ah just wanna get out of here already. Got a Ganon that needs a butt whuppin' and I don't wanna keep him waitin'.” Said the voice of Jackapple…. As it came from behind the flaming wall.
“What in the… Applejack?! Where are you?!” Garbuncle called out to her, confused as to how she was able to talk.
“Ain’t it Jackapple? Ugh, ah really dunno how this all works. I’m just gonna smash this thing and move on to that next door.” She said, as a large smashing sound came from behind the wall. Suddenly, the door behind you all unlocks as the wall just… vanishes. Hell, she just walks past the group and just… leaves the room, too impatient to wait for everyone else. Leaving a now broken down generator in her wake.
“Uhhhh… What just happened?” Garbuncle asked, utterly perplexed at what he just saw. “Shouldn’t she be… Y’know… And what happened to the wall?”
Wuz slowly put Moonlight down, and just stared into the eternal abyss that was the nonsense that was going on during this campaign. “I… Don’t know either… Unless… Hmm...”
“... M-maybe… Umm…” Moonlight looked back near the door, and tapped her hoof down on the ground, creating a rather deep sounding tap that sounded as if some of the ground was hollow. “I did kind of notice that the ground here was weird, but since it didn’t have any kind of trap, I felt it wasn’t worth mentioning. It wasn’t a trap, right?”
You look back on the ground, and give it a tap yourself. Was this a latch? Was it supposed to open at some point? Why would it… “Oh god…” Suddenly, it hit you, your eyes go wide as saucers when you realized the retardation of it all. The wall wasn’t a trap, it was just an illusion that was probably created by the shield generator. The floor, it was supposed to open after the illusion got close. But it wasn’t this realization that baffled you. It was...
Illusion
Fake
Zelda
Fake Wall
Applejack
Element of Honesty
Couldn’t see the wall
Saw right through it with her eyes
Saw the truth
Through her eyes
Eyes of truth
Lens… Of truth.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?! DID FUCKING APPLEJACK AUTOMATICALLY GET AN INNATE ABILITY TO SEE THROUGH ILLUSIONS BECAUSE ‘HUR DUR, HONEST HORSE’. ARE YOU JOKING?! HOLY FUCK! WHAT IN THE GODDAMN SHIT WAS THAT?! DID YOU ALL SERIOUSLY GET OUTPLAYED BY THE MOST BORING FUCKING HORSE IN EQUESTRIA BECAUSE SHE LITERALLY HAD THE POWER OF A ZELDA ITEM?! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THAT PISSES YOU OFF SO GODDAMN MUCH! THAT WAS JUST NONSENSICAL. HELL, YOU COULD FEEL IT, THE RAW ANGER YOU FELT THAT YOU SOMEHOW LET A FUCKING, STUPID ASS, AND MORONIC ZELDA PUZZLE OUTPLAY YOU. ROOM OF COURAGE! YOU HAD THE RIGHT IDEA, JUST WALK FORWARD! GODDDAAAMMMMIIITTTTT!
“W-woah, A-anon, you alright?” Garbuncle asks cautiously as he taps your back.
You were so out of it that you hadn’t noticed everyone had already left the room, Garbuncle staying behind to retrieve you. “W-what?! Huh? Spike? W-where is everypony?”
“They went back to the main hall, dude. Diamond got worried too, but I told her you were doing an inventory check to calm her down. You ok?” Garbuncle asks again, calming down now that you seemed so lucid.
“Just… J-just… I mean, we just kind of got bamboozled. I even figured out how she did it, and it’s sooooo stupid!” You whined, like fucking damn, the explanation for it is soooo dumb!
“Yeah, Discord explained it already. Turns out she got an innate ability like your iron head. Yeah, he kinda had a mental break down of his own and looked at her skill list. Poor guy, I know how he is, he just wants to pull one win out of this adventure and it keeps giving him the slip. Pretty funny though, right? Saved our skins for s-GYAH! ANON!?” But you were not having any of that shit! It wasn’t funny! You grab onto Garbuncle and begin to shake him as you yell in his face.
“IT ISN’T FUNNY! IT’S DUMB AS BEANS! SHE’S A LITERAL ZELDA ITEM! THAT’S THE WORST PUN I’VE EVER HEARD! YOU HEAR ME?!” You scream out at him, even getting some saliva on his face.
Garbuncle just looks to the left, then right, then slowly moves your hooves away as he takes a step back and wipes his face. “O-oooook. Dunno what you mean by all that, but uhh… Anon? You alright? Or do you need to calm down?... Should I just go? You're really starting to creep me out.”
You just went silent… Of course he wouldn’t know what the fuck you were talking about. Fine! Let Applejack have her little unearned victory. Hell, fuck the last challenge. Ganon, you knew for sure, would be your kill. This time, you’d have victory. A victory that Diamond will look up to as she sees how great you are at killing magical murder pigs. “...Yeah, was just… hit with a mind… thing. I’m ok now.”
“Huh…” Garbuncle looked around as he scratched his head, confused as to what you could mean. “I mean… I didn’t see anything hit you. Then again, I was, erm, a little scared and maybe didn’t notice it. This whole place is a lot different than what you’d see in a typical campaign, so I guess that could have happened. Anyway, I gotta go get my staff back.” He said as he walked over to the door to leave the room.
Oh yeah, with your goddamn axe, you were gonna make some bacon. Fuck this noise.
And so the final room awaited the party. And while everyone was seemingly pretty optimistic to take on the challenge, you and Discord hung back behind the group as you both muttered angrily to yourselves, both of you wanting the glory of a win. You decided however, that whatever is behind that door is getting a berserk’d deathblow to the face. A skill combination that does so much damage that it should obliterate whatever enemy you’re about to face in a single blow.
When you all enter the room however, you all noticed a good sized arena before you, square in shape, with the sides of the arena ending in a pit of certain death. However, you also all noticed there weren’t any monsters in the room. And just like both rooms before this one, the door locked behind all of you. No surprise.
“Huh… It looks like we’re supposed to fight something, but I don’t see anything, is it invisible?” Garbuncle asked as he took a look around the arena, spotting nothing.
Moonlight looks up, and notices that the ceiling had a huge hole in the middle. She points up to it, and correctly figures out what its purpose is. “Look, there’s a hole up there, maybe it's going to come down through that.”
“Interesting…” Wuz said as he pulled at his beard, not truly intrigued, but ready to murder whatever pops out of it. “Not a very good way to enter combat, now is it? Considering there is five of us, a coordinated strategy should be able to bring it down quickly. Or…” He readies his bow, and holds it at an angle that suggests a headshot “I can amaze you all with the most skillful shot you’ve ever seen.”
“Cut the hogwash, Discord. We’re a team, meanin’ we gotta use all our skills to take down whatever poor varmint is comin’ down that thing. It’s just like workin’ on the orchard with your family. If everypony does their part then there ain’t nothin’ we can’t do.” Jackapple comments, determined to take down whatever monster comes down through the hole.
“Woah… Appleja- Er, Jackapple. Sounds like you’re really getting into the game. That’s a pretty good strategy too.” Garbuncle was rather amazed, he didn’t expect Jackapple to actually invest herself into the current, or any, campaign.
“Er… Um… Don’t look too into it, ah just want to get this done already” Jackapple states as she shyly looks away. She was unable to admit that she was enjoying herself in any capacity, and so used her want to defeat Ganon and end the campaign to hide her growing admiration for the game.
But suddenly, there is a wooshing noise from the hole that catches everyone’s attention. Garbuncle is the first to enter a battle position as he raises his staff. “Get ready everypony, something is coming! Don’t worry, I got buffs coming out the wazoo for this fight, just don’t waste em, ok?”
“Ah don’t need no ‘buff’ or whatever that means, just give me two seconds with it and I’ll send it through the wall.” Jackapple states as she prepared herself, her nose snorting out steam as she mentally steeled herself for combat.
Wuz kept his bow at the ready, he didn’t even comment on how her just ‘bucking’ and not using her weapons would be a bad idea. He didn’t care, he just wanted the shot.
You? You were probably the most ready out of all of them. You knew you could gain first attack by bursting into a berserk rage on the word go. And with one well placed deathblow? Oh yeah, victory would be yours! All that precious glory to be had after the embarrassing moment in the courage chamber.
Finally, out of the hole, came a large piggish figure in red glowing armor with spiked shoulders. His skin was brown and his smile crooked. While his movements seemed rather boarish and heavy in nature, the large steel spear he was wielding showed he meant business. Jackapple, noticing his figure, comments in a rather confused fashion “Is that Ganon? Why is he all papery and junk?” Indeed, she was caught off guard that this hulking beast was just a living papercraft.
“Oh, that’s just how things are. All the enemies we face in O&O are typically just paper or papercraft p-ANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Garbuncle said in surprise, so taken aback as you suddenly rushed past him that he didn’t even bother to use your game name.
“ASFDSFSASDSA” You garbled out incoherently, drool spilling from your mouth, as you rush towards the papercraft moblin with your battle axe in your mouth. You went full rage mode as you jumped up in mid air, and aimed your weapon right at it’s head, coming down upon him. With a successful sl- WOAH WHAT?! YOU WERE SUCCESSFUL?! Well damn, the papercraft moblin is sliced in two, its red glowing armor sputtering out of control and then falling apart, thus causing the door behind you all to unlock.
“What… Just happened?” Garbuncle asked more confused than bewildered, he just slowly points over to you and looks to the rest of the party. “Did Anon just beat that thing in one hit?”
“I’ll be gosh darned, never seen so much anger in mah life, just sliced that thing right in two without even a care.” Jackapple was impressed. Sure, it was just papercraft, but seeing you rush in like a bullet and slicing the thing with such grandeur was amazing, even to her.
Moonlight just looked on in awe, with her expression becoming ever so dreamy as she suddenly began to fantasize about her hunk of a barbarian whisking her off into the sunset. She turned to Wuz, who was preparing his arrow, and sighed lovingly towards him. “Isn’t Anon the best?” She asked, as she looked upon you. You were now standing on your hind legs, screaming like an idiot, claiming your victory with primitive yells.
“A crown jewel…” Wuz said, aiming his arrow towards you. He was jealous, angered by the fact that you came in and took the already dwindling glory he’d be able to obtain by clearing the large monster moblin in a single hit. He was going to do it, he was going to shoot an arrow right in your head. He had been critted, out done in riddles, and fearful of his life all due to an illusion. And now? Outdone in battle? Nope, he wasn't having it.
“Why are you aiming an arrow towards Anon?” Moonlight asked, curious and confused as to why Wuz suddenly seemed so poised for another fight.
“There’s a mad dog that needs to be taken down…” Wuz said under his breath, lost in his own envy as he prepared to let loose his arrow.
“Oh… Um, can I ask you a question?” Moonlight asked, with a sugary sweet innocent tone in her voice. She just sat there, like a puppy, looking up curiously at Wuz.
“And what’s that?” Wuz said, barely paying attention. He hadn’t let go yet, he was hesitating for some reason, a reason that somehow didn’t click within his mind as the need for glory just kept his judgement clouded.
“Well, I just wanted you to be straight with me. I… Really haven’t ruined the game at all, right? Because I really mean it when I say it, I’m having a load of fun. It’s totally awesome! I can see why Anon loves the game so much. Just look at him, he’s so happy that he finally got a super good roll, it makes me feel happy for him. And this whole campaign thing you made? Well, I think it’s great! And it makes it even better that Anon doesn’t mind it being so easy. It’s weird though, right? He’s been excited and having a lot of fun since we started… And It’s all thanks to you, Daddy Discord.” Moonlight hovers upwards with her wings, and dives into Wuz for a tight yet gentle hug.
Wuz slowly stopped his aiming, gently releasing the tension of his bow as his arrow falls to the ground. “Y-you’re thanking me for all this? Despite the bad rolls? Despite nearly being defeated time after time? Despite Jackapple? You’re truly having fun?” He was stuttering in his voice, as he slowly but reluctantly began to realize why he did all this in the first place.
“Mhmm!” Moonlight said to him as she looked up to him with a smile “I mean, the times we messed up was pretty scary, but that’s all part of the game, right? This is seriously the coolest way to play any game ever! I love it! And I’m super glad Anon invited me despite it being a ‘guy’s’ thing. I-if you don’t mind, I wouldn’t mind being invited for another game… Oh, just never EVER let mother know about all this, ok? I mean, how the game actually works.”
“Why is that?” Wuz asked, genuinely curious as to why he shouldn’t tell her mother.
“Mother… Sorta really has a strong dislike for the ‘competition’ and ‘trash’ she deals with, even though they are all super important rich ponies too. I dunno, I just think she’d try to use you to set this up as some thing she ‘likes to do’. Then she’d invite them for a game… And the campaign she might wanna do might be super scary and hard, especially for them.” Moonlight explained to the best of her ability as to why she feared her mother, Spoiled, learning how the game works under Discord’s magic.
“Ahhh, as in trapping them in a fantastical realm so believable, that it’d scare them silly… Just for the funsies.” Wuz elaborates, which gets a nod from Moonlight as to that being exactly what it was. “Hmmm… Alright then. Against my chaotic nature, I will refrain from letting her know.” Wuz gently puts the little bat filly down, and gives her a gentle pat on the head. “Thank you, little Diamond… For just having… Fun.” Indeed, Discord is now reminded as to why he went through the painstaking trouble of creating this campaign. It was his jealousy, his jealousy that a clone was able to make you so happy with such a small gesture as giving you a treasure chest and electric hook. Despite the fact Four was gone, Discord wanted to one up him anyway, with a crafted Campaign that’d even get you invested to play O&O. Yes, part of him wanted the praise from you, and by extension, Diamond, for such efforts. And yes, he selfishly wanted a game night… But deep down, he did just want to provide you a bit of fun that would make you appreciate him more. But Discord knew, upon his head clearing, that you do appreciate him. Maybe not as much as he’d like, but you do… He just somehow forgot at the moment, that’s all.
“Thank you, Daddy Discord, for inviting me!” She cheers with a little happy hop.
“Yo, Wuz, Did you see that?! HAHA! I actually managed to slice the guy in two! Me! In one shot! Dannnnngggg, it feels good to be me!” You call out to Wuz as you approach him and Moonlight, wiping the frothing drool from your mouth as you strut around victoriously.
And Discord could see it. You looked genuinely pleased with yourself, genuinely having fun… Just like Diamond said. “I-I can see that. Ahrm… Did you have fun?”
“Heck yeah! The guy didn’t even have time to squeal! Just...SLICE! And he was done! Oh man… Look, Diamond, Dad… I know Spike is a bro and all, and that he has the staff of wisdom and bla bla… But come on! We should be the ones to take down Ganon ourselves, like a family! Maybe it’s all this pent up energy, but c’moooooonnnnnn… Imagine how Aunt Fluttershy would react knowing we all did it together!” You were still overtaken by your berserk rage, which had now become a delicious euphoria. Your eyes looked a little dazed, but you were also super focused on what you wanted, and what you wanted? Why, an awesome finishing victory of course. You had your glory, you killed something in a single goddamn hit, and so your frustration subsided. You were having fun, so goddamn, let's end it on a high note.
“Anon, wouldn’t your Aunt hate all the violence we’re doing?” Moonlight asked “She likes pigs and lizards, doesn’t she? We kinda been slicing em up.”
“Actually… Fluttershy is fine with Ogres and Oubliettes and its details. She’d never play, of course, but she knows everything is actually just paper, dice, and numbers. I often talk of our more riveting adventures during tea. So, I concur with Anon, I’m sure she’d be very happy to hear about this.” Wuz said, holding back tears of joy from your sudden willingness to do things together with him, and with Diamond too, of course.
“Yeah! Then let’s do it! I think that guy’s armor was the final generator too, so Ganon is probably just a teleport and a room away! Oh yeah, this will be soooo great!” Oh baby, you were ready to grill that bacon!
“Yeah! But er… What about Applejack? She sounded like she really hates Ganon, what if she gets him before we do?” Diamond asked, concerned that Applejack would go into a rage similar to your own and get the finishing blow.
“Pfft, she doesn’t even have any legendary weapons to hurt Ganon, she can’t do anything at this point.” Wuz said with a chuckle. "All her attacks will bounce off of him as if he were made of rubber... Explosive rubber."
Diamond then gasped, apparently horrified by this revelation. “You mean she’s just useless?! Does that mean she’s only good as a pony shield?”
Uhhhhh… “That’s oddly specific. Why do you think that’s all she’s good for?”
“Because I think we should totally let her be our shield. She’s been mean to Daddy Discord since we found her, she didn’t even thank any of us for rescuing her! I know she’s Applebloom’s sister, and an element, but she’s also super rude… She needs to be punished.” Moonlight said, looking over to Jackapple and Garbuncle, who were investigating the fallen Moblin’s folded corpse. She quickly stuck her tongue out at her, just not liking her current attitude at all.
“...Yeah, we’re totally onboard with that.” You tell her, trying to keep yourself from letting out any sort of evil grin. Because goddamn, was Applejack worst horse.
“Totally. haha! Well then, it seems we have a plan. Now, it can’t be helped if Spike does manage to land a blow or two, we just need to make sure we all get the finishing blow together. Sound good?" Wuz however, felt no such hesitation as he began to grin at the prospect of Jackapple getting slapped around by Ganon.
Both you and Moonlight nod in agreeance.
And with that, the party returns to the main room. The crystals generating the main barrier were now unprotected. Of course, you knew how to destroy them, as it was pretty obvious. You walk over to the red crystal and strike it with your axe, causing it to shatter into pieces. “Welp, that was simple. Ok Garbuncle, Moonlight, just strike the crystals that coordinate with your weapon and it’ll break the barrier.”
“Yeah, I know, this kind of thing happens in O&O all the time. Alright, let's give it a smack.” Garbuncle says as he smashes the blue orb with his staff.
“And when we do this, it’ll open the way up to Ganon?” Moonlight asks as she hovers over and slashes the green crystal with her dagger. Upon the crystal shattering, the barrier surrounding the teleport pad vanishes.
“It should, considering we have defeated the challenges within this tower. All that should be left is to step onto that pad, probably walk up some ominous staircase, and then open some doors that lead right into Ganon’s throne room.” Wuz said as he snickered to himself “I doubt he expected all five of us to make it to him in one piece. Shame… At this point, I was really hoping for a challenging fight.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we just go kick his keister already? It’s getting mighty late and I’m already gettin’ tired.” Jackapple complained, wanting to press on already. Yes, she was secretly having fun, but she was still a responsible and very boring horse.
“Hold on, Jackapple. We should probably come up with a pro- Or you could just step on the teleport pad and leave without us. Ugh… So, any ideas on what we should do when we face this guy?” Garbuncle turned to you, Wuz, and Moonlight for ideas.
“I mean, do we really need a strategy at this point? He casts dark magic, so just hit us with a dark barrier and wail on the guy. It’s a beginner’s campaign, he shouldn’t be that tough.” You suggest, having Garbuncle use a turn to cast a barrier should give you, Moonlight, and Wuz ample time to finish off Ganon together with a mighty set of blows.
“I mean, ok? You two ok with just doing it that way? You don’t got a plan of your own, Captain?” Garbuncle turned to Wuz, asking for his opinion.
“I like Conan’s plan. Besides, Jackapple seems to really want to wrap things up. Given that Conan is right about the campaign, a little recklessness shouldn’t hurt us.” Wuz said to him.
“I dunno, our rolls have been really wacky this time around. But fine, if that’s how everypony wants to do it, I’ll cast a dark barrier then totally go all out on the guy… Which we should probably go see before Jackapple fights him one on one.” And with that, the rest of the party enters the teleport pad, sending you all deeper into Ganon’s Tower.
You had had stood on top of the teleport pad and ended up in a grand lobby. Around the party were horrible statues of the great demon king Ganon in various monstrous poses. The teleport pad back to the main room was behind you all. You all appeared right in front of it, all of you standing on a grand red carpet that went up a staircase.
You all prepared yourselves as the party cautiously climbed the stairs. As you all began to reach the end, you could see the grand doors to the next room had already been opened. “Hoo boy, she just couldn’t wait, could she?”
“Applejack has always been pretty stubborn like that. Ok team, so he already knows we’re all here. We lose the element of surprise, but it’s still four against one! Alright! Is everypony ready?” Garbuncle asked as he raised his staff, ready for a brawl
“I totally am! Let’s roast that pig!” Moonlight said as she hovered upwards and brandished her dagger.
“Well, we need to skewer him first.” Captain Wuz said with a smirk as he took an arrow into his talons, twirled it around, and placed it back in his quiver.
“Nope, we gotta tenderize him first! HAHA!” You cackle as you slam your hoof onto the ground.
“Alright then! Let’s go!” Garbuncle yells out as he kicks the doors open and rushes inside, all of you rushing in behind him.
The room you all rushed into was a large audience hall made up of spiked pillars, black stone walls and floors, and the red carpet stretching out to a large dark throne that looked cursed with its twisted design and spikes protruding from the sides. There were also doors behind said throne, opened towards the room as if someone had come into the room from the backside. Near the wall on the side of the throne laid Jackapple, knocked out cold. However, right next to the throne, was a brown coated unicorn in a dark desert colored armor with a dirty white cape flowing back. His mane flared red and flowed back, his eyes a deeper crimson red of evil. His horn however, was rather odd, it was black from the base and quickly transitioned to red as it went to the tip.
“That’s him! ” You pointed out, knowing for sure that was Ganon… Or rather, Ganondorf… Who you noticed also wasn’t made of paper. Whatever, you step forward from the group and point over at the evil wizard unicorn. “Alright Ganon, we’ve come to take you down! Your reign of terror ends here!”
“Reign of what now? Ugh… Why is there nothing normal in this tower? Look, whoever you four are, I demand to know what’s going on here.” Ganondorf said in a rather… flamboyant yet demanding tone, something you found really confusing, especially since it immediately sounded like he had no clue what was going on.
“Are you sure that’s him?” Garbuncle eases over towards you and whispers “I was expecting a giant pig monster.”
“Yeah, that’s him, for sure. This is his hum-... Er, pony form. His pig form is his second one.” You explain in a whisper.
“Oh… In that case…” Garbuncle hopped forward and pointed his staff towards Ganon “You know exactly what’s going on here, Ganon. Give up now or face the awesome power of Garbuncle, the most powerful wizard you’ve ever seen!” Garbuncle told him as he struck a heroic pose.
“Ganon? Ganon… Just like I told this fool, I’m not Ganon! Look, I don’t know how I got here, but if you can tell me where the exit is then I promise to make your servitude to me less painful than it usually is.” Ganon said to your party as he looked over at the throne. “And tell me who rules this land, I wish to bring him under my control as well.”
“Uhhhhh…” Moonlight was heavily confused, hell, you all were. “You do? This is your tower, right?”
“No, this isn’t my tower. I don’t know what you all are playing at, but I’m getting tired of it. Last chance, tell me how to leave this place or else you will suffer my wrath.” Ganon was getting annoyed, looking down at the party with growing disdain for the group.
You move over to Discord and begin whispering to him. “Yo, Discord, the hell is up with this guy? You didn’t foul up the final boss, did you?”
“Normally, I’d feel insulted by those words… But… I honestly have no clue. But he seems so familiar… I would even hazard a guess that he isn’t a game piece.” Wuz stated as he began to stare harder at the unicorn, trying to figure out from where he remembered him from.
“You’re not gonna fool us! You’re gonna fall here, Ganon! You’re gonna pay for hurting our friend!” Garbuncle announced to him as he prepared to jump back and cast a dark barrier spell.
“Hurting who? You mean the stupid earth pony? Oh please, she didn’t even give me the pleasure. She attempted to buck me and somehow ended up blasting towards the wall. Ha, it was rather funny actually, as it seems I have become more powerful through my mysterious revival than I had thought, even gaining a barrier to do away with any pests who try to harm me. But as amusing as that is, I truly do tire of this. I suppose I should at least subjugate you pathetic heroes and add you to my ranks, as I wish to have the Crystal Empire under my control before the next day starts.” Ganon stated as he brushed his cape back, looking like he was about to prep himself for a fight.
“Crystal Empire?...” Garbuncle suddenly stops, a horrid foreboding filling his mind as he points over to Ganon “Do you mean… the Crystal Empire Crystal Empire? As in the Crystal Empire Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor rule over? You don’t mean that one, do you?”
Ganon’s eye twitched when he heard those words, he slammed his front hooves down in annoyance as he proclaimed “No! There is only one ruler! One who rules over the Crystal Empire and all the pathetic crystal ponies who live within it! And that ruler is me! Learn my name well, simpletons, because I will no longer tolerate any mistakes. I am King Sombra, the one who rules over all your miserable lives, and you will obey me!”
“King Sombra… D-did you say, King S-S-Sombra?” Garbuncle suddenly felt his bravery fall as he took a step back, fearing that Ganon’s proclamation may in fact be the truth.
“I did… So, you have heard of me. Well then, will you finally surrender and show me the exit? Or do I have to crush you first? Both choices will have you under my control, it’s just one is significantly less painful than the other. So think carefully, this is your final chance.” Ganon said with an evil hearty laugh, finally feeling he was getting somewhere.
WHAT?! That couldn’t be! That couldn’t be the actual FACTUAL King fucking Sombra! You looked back at Garbuncle, who seemed to be reeling back now that an actual threat has presented itself. However, that didn’t stop Moonlight from stepping forward and bravely attempt to talk him down. “You’re King Sombra? The one everypony says Spike beat? Pah! I guess that means you don’t stand a chance against us if a baby dragon can take you down!”
“D-diamond… E-er, relax there. Not like we have a Crystal Heart to beat him with right now.” Garbuncle said in a fearful stutter, trying to calm her down.
“How dare you! How dare a foal even suggest such a thing! I was never truly defeated, I merely disappeared and bided my time until I could return and exact my revenge on those who ATTEMPTED to seal me. Do not think just because you are young that I will show mercy, all will bow before me, no matter whom it may be.” Ganon, or rather, King Sombra was losing the last bit of patience he had, he wasn’t exactly going to let a little foal boss him around or tell him what’s what.
Could you beat him? Could all of you beat him? What was the power scale between him and Discord…? Wait. You look over to Discord, and start barking at him. “HEY! GEEZ! ARE YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING HERE!? THAT’S KING FREAKING SOMBRA! HOW THE HECK COULD YOU EVEN GO AND REVIVE HIM?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”
But Wuz just shrugged with a smirk “I wasn’t, at least when it came to how much magic I was using to create this campaign. As for doing something, well, I thought things were going swimmingly already. But if you insist, I suppose I can do something.” Wuz stepped forward as he fiddled with his paws and talons. When he stepped ahead of the group, he simply waved to Sombra as he spoke in a loud and obnoxious voice. “SOMMBYYY, HOW ARE YOU?! IT’S BEEN WAAAYYYY TOO LONG!”
“Too long? What makes you think you’d even be worthy enough to even be remembered? Do you think I’d take the time to remember such a misshapen thing like you? I wouldn’t even consider you to clean the royal latrine, you’re that ugly.” King Sombra stated. Huh, either he somehow doesn’t remember Discord, or he just doesn’t recognize him.
“Oh come on, Somby, don’t be that way. I’m trying very hard not to break character here, since we’re still in the middle of our game. You really don’t recognize me?” Wuz asked, still keeping a rather pleasant tone towards Sombra.
“...I’ve lost my patience! As I said, why would I ever remember a worm like you!” Sombra said as he stomped his front right hoof forward, exhausted with all the shenanigans at this point.
“Ugh…” Wuz snapped his talons, causing his clothes, weapons, and hair to disappear as his true form is revealed. “And I’m getting tired of how blind you are. Really, how many beings do you know that look even half as amazing and handsome as I do?”
“The lord of chaos…?” Sombra said under his breath in surprise. He then narrowed his eyes towards him, and began to speak. “Discord? Ha, well pardon me oh chaotic one. Last I heard of you, the princesses had sealed you away.”
“Well…” Discord produced a black pot and kettle and scoffed at Sombra “Isn’t that calling the kettle black? Last I checked, the princesses had done the same to you, and then a baby dragon a thousand years after. Ohhhh, Somby, you were never one for humility. Which, quite frankly, just makes you look more foolish. King? More like jester.” Discord said with a hearty laugh.
“Grrr! Don’t mock me!” King Sombra growled “If you must truly know, setbacks DO happen. You were defeated, I was blindsided. I was busy forming a larger army to bring you down, and then use you to solidify my place as king of the Crystal Empire. I had no idea those worthless princesses would get the jump on me. You were a much bigger threat to deal with and therefore required absolute focus.”
“Excuses... And what do you mean by ‘were’? I’m still the greatest threat the world has ever known! I’m the spirit of chaos, remember? I could turn your precious empire into a strawberry in an instant if I so wanted to.” Discord crosses his arms, becoming less amused as the conversation went on.
“Oh, you know what I mean by 'were'. Entertaining foals, Discord? I can already tell the ponies of Equestria have tamed you like the mutt you are. I wonder what pathetic pony managed to do you in. HA! I bet she was ohhhh so sweet and lovable that you couldn’t do a thing to her. Oh wait, I meant pathetic and weak. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re playing silly games with fillies and colts, Discord. Face it, I am the true lord here! Master of darkness! The REAL ruler of not only the Crystal Empire, but ALL OF EQUESTRIA! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” King Sombra laughed maniacally as he mocked Discord, sure that he was much more powerful than he was.
Discord suddenly went silent, his face filled with a dark essence, his eyes boiling on the inside. He not only got insulted, but Sombra also insulted Fluttershy, something he would not take lightly. At first, he just thought about doing Sombra in right then and there. But then something clicked in his mind. He was saving the time door to a future ruled by Sombra for you, just to see what would happen. For shits and giggles essentially. But here he was, the genuine article of this universe, and what better way to humiliate the fuck out of him than to have you do it. Discord steps back, and beckons you over with a talon. “Anon… Front and center.”
The hell? “Uhhh… What’s going on? C’mon, this is serious, just blast him! The guy just mocked you and Fluttershy!” You yourself didn’t want to take any chances. And while you were angry that he mocked your friends and family, you were still wary of the situation. Could… Discord really not beat him?
“I won’t ask again… Here, now.” Discord pointed directly downward in front of himself, looking very serious and furious.
“Discord, dude… Whatever you’re thinking, now is not the WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!” Spike, in worry for you, tries to get Discord to calm down and try to figure things out. But Discord would have none of it, and sent him flying back through the doors.
“D-daddy Discord? A-are you ok?” Diamond’s ears folded back. She had never seen Discord so upset and angry before, it was actually scaring her, especially knowing what he was capable of.
“Not particularly… Please leave the tower with Spike, things are going to get very serious and I don’t want you to get hurt.” Discord told her, his tone of voice still ominous and terrifying.
“But what about A-” Diamond tried to ask about you, what he planned to do with you, but Discord stopped her as he pointed towards the door and yelled out.
“GO! I WILL NOT ASK AGAIN!” Discord growled at her, like a very angry father towards a timid daughter.
Diamond squeaks as her survival instincts take over. She starts running back towards the door, but then suddenly stops and looks back at you, she didn’t want to leave you alone, and was trying to force herself to come back to help you. But just as she took her first step, the door suddenly swings shut, smacking her backwards. Discord cringed at that, and sheepishly looked to the right as his near demonic mood suddenly left him. “Ohhhh, did not mean to actually hit her. She’ll be alright though. Anyway, on to business. Anon, go take care of Somby, will you? I’m getting tired of him.”
“BWHAHAHAHA! That was quite a show, Discord. And for what? For you to send a colt at me? Ohhhh, I’m soooo scared! The lord of chaos, relying on a foal? Oh, that’s just rich! Never mind, I need a warm up. Go ahead, send him here, we can make a real game out of it. We’ll time how long it takes for me to destroy his mind with my magic.” Sombra was suddenly quite jovial, relishing at the thought of Discord suddenly being so pathetic and weak that he had to send a foal after him. Relishing even more to see his reaction after he decimates you.
“Discord, are you nuts?! This guy is probably a lot more powerful than the Storm King, and I don’t have my horn in this dimension. What do you expect out of me?” He couldn’t be serious, because it looked like he was gonna send you at him as is.
“Anon, my adopted child not child, my chaos buddy, my pincushion.” Discord leaned down, and gently placed his paw on your shoulder, looking at you with the caring face a real father would make. “You have all the tools you need already to bring him down. For me, I could end him in an instant, but true glory will come to both of us if you, a colt, are able to bring him down. He has insulted our family, Anon, and I know that means something to you. Besides…” Discord stands up, and shrugs with a grin on his face “I actually got Twilight to agree to a bet about who would win, you or Sombra. I admit, she was under duress, I may have annoyed her a bit, and it wasn’t so much a bet more so a long explanation on how, without the crystal heart, he’d kick your butt. But to me, it’s still something I could hold over her for the fun of it.”
Christ… “You know she’s gonna freak when she finds out you even revived the guy, right?”
Discord nods profusely, without even saying a word.
…Typical, albeit hilarious.
“Are you serious?! ARE YOU TRULY SERIOUS?! BWHAHAHA! THIS IS YOUR SON?! THIS TINY THING?! THIS IS THE HEIR TO YOUR THRONE?! AHAHAHA! HAHAHEHEHEHAHA!” Sombra was laughing gleefully, tears actually running down his face as he waved his hoof forward. “No! Nohahaha! That’s simply too much! I might disappear into the ether from laughing too much! And you’re sending him at me?! You’re putting the fate of Equestria in his hooves?! Oooooh Discord, how far you have fallen. You are truly pathetic compared to me. The pony that tamed you, oh yes, I’ll make sure she has a special place scrubbing my dungeons. And this colt? Ha, I’ll destroy him in front of you, just for laughs. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Ok, now he was really getting on your nerves. Fuck, you’d have preferred if he just grunted and said ‘crystals’ every five seconds. This was Sombra? THE Sombra? This gay, up his own ass, retard motherfucker? No, fuck this, this was not in your headcanon and you would not stand for this. He has insulted you, Discord, and Fluttershy long enough. So yeah, you start stepping forward towards him angrily and begin to yell at him. “LAUGH IT UP, MOTHERFUCKER! GO AHEAD, LAUGH! BECAUSE THAT’S THE LAST STRAW! NOPONY, AND I MEAN NOPONY, MAKES FUN OF MY FAMILY AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT!... Yeah, you heard me, LIVE! L-I-V-E! Because guess what? I’m gonna chop off your fucking head, I swear it!”
Sombra’s laughter suddenly ends as he actually brings a hoof to his neck, then looks down at you, a little confused. As evil as he was, he never expected a colt to speak in such a horrid and violent manner. “Not that you will be able to, but don’t you think that’s a bit much?”
“Ha! You think that’s a lot? I didn’t even get to the part where I’m gonna take your head and shove it up the ass of an ursa major! And your body? I’m gonna cut it up and use your coat to line my bed. Oh yeah, fuckface, you ain’t seen the kinda shit I’ve seen. You gonna die, not get sealed… Die.”
Sombra actually felt uncomfortable with you and your mannerisms, but it wasn’t enough to get him to back down. No, in fact, it actually interested him to face off against an opponent he thought was a simple colt. He still felt he was going to crush you, but he was impressed by the darkness that seemed to be in your heart. “Die, you say? Now I’m interested. Tell me, Anon… What could have possibly happened to you to turn your heart so black? I’ve never seen a colt so angry in my life, so full of hatred. I could use you, actually. Don’t throw your life away now, you know you can’t beat me. But with your hatred infused with my magic, you could grow up to be the most powerful stallion in the world!... Next to me of course. My powers can create strength from hatred and darkness, and you, I can tell, would be the perfect candidate to use my gift to bring me the throne to this entire world. Come now, Anon, don’t be foolish… Make the right choice.” Indeed, Sombra had considered it right there, at this moment. His powers can strengthen those inclined in the darkness, and he felt he could use you as his pawn. In all the time he has ever lived, he had never witnessed ANYTHING like you before, he had never heard such fearful and evil words out of anyone, not even himself… He simply had to have you.
“Fuck off, how about I put my axe in your face?” You growl at him as you brandish your axe.
“Do you truly have it in you to end my life? No hesitation whatsoever? Tell me, Anon… You’re very young. Doesn’t the thought of snuffing one out, even one as evil as I, terrify you? Look into my eyes, Anon, and look into your own despair. See that what scares you most!” Sombra said with a cackle… But oddly enough, his eyes weren’t glowing or emitting any magic whatsoever. He was trying to lock you within your own nightmares to be able to control you, but it was failing. “What?! What is going on?! What happened to my powers?!”
“Oh, you’re still playing the game, Somby. I’m afraid your role doesn’t exactly have such a power.” Discord said as he gave an uncaring shrug towards him “Which means, it is Anon’s turn to do as he wishes.”
“Oh? And he really is going to try to defeat me with an axe? Even after knowing what happened to his friend?” Sombra said with a dark chuckle. "How droll"
Discord just shrugs at him “Dunno, that’s up to him.”
“That’s right, fucker, and I’m going to murder you so damn hard that even the hardcore bronies can’t fucking argue the possibility for you to come back for another season!” Oh yeah, you were bloodthirsty alright. You wanted this fucker dead.
“That doesn’t make any sense… But alright, give it your best swing. Just be warned, I have given you your chance, and I will be taking your dark essence for myAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Sombra was now screaming in pain as your axe slammed and embedded itself into his forehead. He was staggering backwards in pain, unable to even see due to it being so blinding. “AHHHH! IT HURTS! IT ACTUALLY HURTS! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! I CAN SEE A BRIGHT LIGHT AND I DON’T LIKE IT!”
Geezez christ, even when he’s dying he acts like some prissy wuss. “Can’t you at least die with dignity?”
Sombra didn’t respond, he was just screaming in pain as his body began fill with a bright light, almost as if he was about to explode into stardust. And then? He actually did, he exploded into stardust…. Whoopee.
“Holy shit… What a joke! This was fucking Sombra?” You grab your axe, then look to Discord with dismay and disappointment “That was fucking Sombra?! Christ, Discord, how easy was he back then? Why didn’t you deal with him before the princesses did?”
“It’s called giving him a sporting chance before I hilariously humiliated him. Not my fault that I decided to deal with the princesses first and got cheap shotted by a bunch of stones. He wasn’t even anything back then until I was gone, that’s when he really became a threat… To ponies. Compared to me, Sombra is but a mere ant. As evidenced by your splendid if anticlimactic finish.” Discord started to scratch his head as he looked upon the stardust floating around the room. “Odd though… I swear I had the role of Ganon inserted into the campaign correctly.”
“Yeah, the hell is up with that? Shouldn’t he have a second form or something? Ugh, I really wanted this to be an epic battle. Fuck man, the ACTUAL Ganon would have been more fun to fight than Sombra. How the fuck did anypony have trouble with that guy?” Like seriously, he just let you kill him.
“Well, dark magic is a powerful force when put up against normal unicorn magic. It takes something much greater to defeat it. And then there’s my magic, which trumps everything. Ahhh, but we all already knew that. Hmmm… A pity, I was really hoping for more banter out of this. But he really asked for it, didn’t he?” Discord shook his head “Tsk ,tsk, tsk… Didn’t even get a chance to catch up with good ole Somby.”
“Yeah well, I doubt there was anything THAT interesting about him. Shit, he tried to pull the whole ‘join me on the dark side’ bullshit. He’s so full of himself too, I don’t even think he realized he was affected by your magic. What a putz” Really, what a goddamn loser. He was such- Uh oh, just as you were starting to relax, the tower began to quake and shake. Goddamnit, you knew what that meant! “Never mind, fuck it, time to go!”
As you and Discord began to rush back towards the door, Spike and Diamond had managed to get it open as it seemed they didn't leave the tower. Spike looked frantic, scared, but still ready to fight. “Guys! Is Sombra summoning up a lot of power?! The whole tower is shaking! We can’t let you-OHHHH!” Discord just grabs Spike like a football and rushes towards the teleporter as you dive under Diamond to get her on your back.
“A-Anon?! What’s going on? Why are we running? S-shouldn’t we go back and fight Sombra?” Diamond asked as she held onto you tightly.
“Already beat him! Need to focus! Tower falling apart!” You said in between breaths as you rush towards the portal behind Discord with Diamond in tow. Even as you all appeared in the main room, you both wasted no time running towards the front doors of the tower as everything started to fall apart.
“You beat him?! Sombra?! Just like that?! How did you beat him without the Crystal Heart?!” Spike was utterly surprised, even as he bobbed up and down in Discord’s grip.
“It wasn’t as cool as you think it was…” You mutter to yourself as you reach the drawbridge. Ah hell, it started to fall apart behind you. “OHHH NOO! RUN RUN RUN!”
“Wait… Why do I have to run? I’m not even in costume anymore…” Discord stops and snaps his talons, causing him and Spike to appear at the other end of the drawbridge.
“What?! DARNIT! WHY COULDN’T YOU DO THAT FOR U-UUUAAAHHHH!” Both you and Moonlight didn’t quite make it. Well, you thought you both didn’t. But you were somehow still in the air. How? When you look back, you could see Diamond was holding onto you as tightly as she can as she fluttered her wings as quickly as possible. “Diamond… Heh, you’re amazing.”
“D-don’t say that right now! I-I’m trying to focus!” Diamond was, as usual, lovestruck by your words. But she couldn’t let herself fall for you or else it’d be the hottest fall both of you would ever have.
Eventually, you all stand at the edge of the crevice of the lava pit as you all watch Ganon’s tower fall into ruin. “Welp… I suppose we win. Not bad for a beginner campaign.” Discord said with a nod.
“Yeah… I mean, I really expected things to get rough when it turned out you revived Sombra. I was like, super scared. Guess he really isn’t much when it comes to you and Anon. Chaos magic is pretty scary.” Spike said, impressed by you and Discord’s efforts. “And it was an accident, right? I mean reviving him?”
“Trust me, Spike, it was. It made things TOO easy…” You say with an arrogant chuckle “The real Ganon would have put up a better fight.”
“I wish I could have seen you fight him, Anon, I bet it was really epic. Either way, this was a lot of fun! And we all managed to get out together!” Diamond said with glee, very happy to know she actually completed her first campaign, and even happier to know you outrank a powerful villain like King Sombra.
“Yeah… Wait.” Your eyes suddenly go wide “All of us? Uhh…” You looked around, and noticed a party member was missing. “Where’s… Uh… Applejack?”
“Oh no! We left her in the tower! Oh man! What do we do now?!” Spike was flabbergasted that he somehow forgot about her. Sure, at this point you couldn’t truly die in these campaigns unless Discord willed it, but it can still hurt. Hell, maybe Discord did will that she could die considering Sombra seemed to be gone.
“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be alright. Strange though, the campaign should have ended right about…” But Discord’s words are cut off as a large pig like monster broke free from the rubble of the tower. His power so strong, it sent flying boulders of stone all over the place. And among the boulders was Applejack, hurtling towards the party and landing behind you all. “Oh, see? I told you she’d be a-” And before anyone could even react, a boulder comes down and utterly crushed Applejack into nonexistence. “Ohhhhhhhh, that’s gonna sting.”
“This power… THIS POWER! IT IS BEYOND ANYTHING I COULD HAVE IMAGINED! HAHAHAHA! YOU FOOLS! YOU HAVE MADE ME EVEN STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE! WITH THIS NEW POWER, NOT ONLY IS EQUESTRIA ITSELF WITHIN MY GRASP, BUT THE COSMOS THEMSELVES WILL BE MINE! OOHHHHH, IT MAKES ME FEEL SOOOOOO GIDDY! MWHAHAHAHA!” Oh god, it was the actual form of Ganon… With Sombra’s mind. He stood towering on his two feet, still in his desert armor, as a trident began to form above him within the bolts of a wicked lightning storm. He must be at least twenty fucking feet in size too.
“Oh, there’s his second form.” Finally, now it looks like you guys can have an actual fight!
“DISCORD?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! DID YOU GIVE SOMBRA THAT BODY?! HE LOOKS EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER BEFORE! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BEAT THAT?!” Spike panicked as he jumped behind Discord in utter fright.
“Well, we do have our legendary weapons. Come now, my comrades, let us throw away our fear and defeat this villain once and for-” But Discord is cut off as Sombra begins to scream and wail.
“WHAT IS GOING ON?! WHY CAN’T I WALK RIGHT?! GY-HAAAAA! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Sombra, it seemed, was not actually used to being bipedal. He immediately trips over himself, rolls forward, and falls off the edge of the cliff and into the lava below. Immediately the land around the fallen tower began to brighten up as the evil clouds above began to clear.
“...And there he goes…” How… Lame…
And with that, everything returned to normal. You all appear back in the cutie map room in normal attire. Applejack was knocked out cold apparently, snoring, as her back was being ruined due to her sleeping on the backrest of one of the seats… Like, her head and ass were hanging downwards as her spine was right on the backrest… She was gonna wake up awfully sore in the morning.
...Well, that was a thing. It was certainly... A thing.
With the campaign over, and it getting rather late… Actually, it was much later than you all actually thought, nearly midnight really. Spike, who is normally not up this late, already started to feel the sleep come over him. It didn’t surprise you, you all did do a campaign in one night after all, so it made sense you’d all feel more tired than you should, hence Spike falling over right then and there on the floor. Diamond just slowly walked over to you with a yawn and nuzzled closely to you, falling asleep as she whispered about how much she loved you, and wanted to raise the future foals you both would have, and how she couldn’t wait to tell them the stories of their heroic father. You? You just couldn’t wait to start making the little guys, but it’s fine, you were fine letting her nuzzle on you as you cuddled and rubbed your chin on top of her head, sliding her tiara down ever so slightly as to not poke yourself. She was fine being teleported straight home tonight, she was too tired to be fully romanced. Of course, she couldn’t wait to see you again, that was always a thing. After that, it was time for you and Discord to return home as well. So with a simple snap of his talons, you were both teleported back to your room, with you planted right on your bed with your gear put to the side and your horn around your neck.
Discord himself was stretching himself with a long yawn, preparing himself for sleep… You think, you never knew if the guy actually slept. “Well, Anon, I think that went well, despite the disappointing final act…” Discord stopped there, then looked to you with a soft and almost needy smile “Well, maybe not disappointing. I’m actually overjoyed to know that you were able to defeat Sombra. I would say it was made easier due to him not understanding the rules, but he still had plenty of power to still be a ‘threat’.”
“Yeah, considering the form you gave him, I’d figure he could have done a lot of dangerous stuff if he understood how it worked. Still, I don’t think I could have handled his fucking attitude for much longer anyway. The guy is so… So…” You couldn’t exactly think of a word for it.
“High and mighty?” Discord says as he gives you a mischievous grin.
“Yeah, that’s ex- waiiiit! Ok, c’mon, don’t do that. Don’t ruin the fun ride by being a dick.” Discord was actually being pretty rad for most of the day, sans the clone business. A great deal, him being nice, a fun adventure, and you got to show up an MLP villain. It was the end of the day and you really didn’t want the mood ruined.
“Alright, alright, I can wait another time. But… Did you truly have fun? Diamond said you did, but… I suppose I just wanted to hear it from your mouth. Just a clear answer, now that the game is over.” Discord said, still seeming soft and needy… Was he, did he? Huh, he actually really cared what you thought?
“I had fun, I thought it was pretty rad up until Sombra showed up. Man… Well, y’know? Applejack getting crushed by a rock made up for that, haha! But no, seriously? I really did. Kudos to you, Discord, I actually enjoyed myself.” You tell him with a grin, actually satisfied with the adventure.
Discord had to turn away from you. He took a stance of pride as he walked forward, arms to his back. But his eyes were watering, he was happy that he managed to give his good friend and chaos buddy a good time. “Splendid… I am happy to know my work is appreciated…” He stopped to remove a tear from his cheek. “But we should move on to actual business. You’ll be happy to know your unlimited magic starts at midnight, as per our agreement.”
“I figured… Also, I know you get all teary eyed if you try to get all serious like that, especially with your back turned. Heh…” You hopped up on all fours and looked to Discord with a great big grin. “No need to hide it, dude! But… Wait… Why are you all happy about it? Unless…” Ahh geez, he really did want you to enjoy O&O, didn’t he? That was it, wasn’t it? “Discord… Look, I’m sorry if I ever upset you with all the times I declined playing O&O. I mean, you could respect my decision and all… But I guess I could also not be an ass pained doofus about it. I’ll have a regular go with you guys the next time I have the chance, ok? Don’t cry though… Like seriously, I don’t want the room flooded.”
Discord turned around to reveal his tearful joy. He walked over to you, and started to give you a gentle pat. “Ah, Anon… It wasn’t exactly that, but it was mostly something like that. You really do have my thanks, and I am happy to share my time with you whenever it’s not boring. Aha, but… It is getting rather late and I’d rather not continue to be so vulnerable. So, tell me, will you be going out soon or will you be saving it for the morning?”
“Huh? Oh, you mean the horn. Uhhh, I should sleep since I gotta deal with Celestia tomorrow. Oh, actually… Discord, can I get your opinion on something?” You had a sudden plan to make a grand entrance to Canterlot Castle. Nothing mean, but you wanted your presence known.
“My opinion? You want my opinion?” Discord actually seemed surprised and intrigued. “On what, exactly?”
“Well, I kind of wanna make a grand entrance. Y’know, seem all badass without actually pissing Celestia off. I mean, I’ll have unlimited power, so why not show it off? Here’s what I’m thinking: She’s having her breakfast, maybe drinking some coffee… Then suddenly, a beam of light hits the entire castle. As she looks out the window to figure out what happened, feathers of pure white start falling around the room as I appear in an even more brilliant blue flash in the air. Then I slowly descend, looking down at all I survey… Pretty good, right? I’m thinking it’ll just leave her speechless.” You knew how to leave Celestia speechless in many ways, but since you had to not lose her favor, you wanted to do it in a way Discord would, as it always seems Celestia is in a pretty good mood when he pulls his usual antics in front of her.
“Ha! Very nice, although it doesn’t sound like your usual bag of tricks. But hmmm… How odd, I’m surprised you didn’t think of adding a choir to your entrance. Something that literally sings ‘Anon’. That should make it perfect, I think.” Discord slid a talon along his cheek and down his chin, scratching ever so gently as he thought “No, more than perfect. Remember to make it a little obnoxious in case she tries to speak over it, but not too obnoxious as to ruin your chances in gaining her favor.”
“Yeah, that actually will work. Not too obnoxious, got it! Thanks, Discord… Heh…” You let yourself fall backwards, feeling the sleep coming upon you. “Really, thanks… You’re the greatest…”
“I…” Discord found himself almost saying ‘I know I am’, but stopped… He didn’t want to be an ass this time, he didn’t want to ruin the moment. So he just took a bow, and said “...Am great, but only because… No never mind, I was going to say something sickly sweet but I’m simply not in the mood. But I would suppose you know how I feel without saying it and that should be enough. Good night, Anon, I wish you luck on your meeting with Celestia. As for me… Ugh, I might as well practice resisting improving Twilight’s first day of her school. As much as I think the students would appreciate a fun first day, even I understand Twilight needs her moments, her chance to shine. I’ll figure something out for later though, I always do.”
“I know you will. Night, Discord. Thanks again for the fun” You say weakly, as you feel yourself drift off into dreamland.
Well, not completely, at least not the dreamland you were hoping to appear in. The first thing you notice is that you had full control of yourself and were aware of what you were doing. Next, you found yourself in a familiar endless starry space, and finally, you knew there was only one mare who could cause this. Like, holy fuck, was Luna still on this? “...Ok then. Princess Luna, seriously? Are you serious? You’re still on this?” You call out to her as you look around “Where are you? I mean, geez.” Like, it was funny before, but now it was getting a little sad. How badly did she want you to wreck her mind?
“HAHAHA! I am, Anon. I have bided my time, and figured out a way to best you in this contest of morality!” Bellowed Luna’s voice from God knows where “I realized that you’re much too corrupt for I alone to make you see reason. That is why I have employed the help of my sister to show you the error of your ways and make you see that you are wrong! Prepare yourself, Anon. You shall not have your way this time!” She called out further as a large amount dark blue smoke began to flow towards and then past you. Oh holy crap, Celestia is here?! Ah fuck it, never mind, this is gonna be fucking gold! Hell, they both want to thought police you? Well then, time to make them see how wrong they really are.
“Sister? Sister? Luna? Where is the foul monster that torments you so?” Called out the voice of Celestia, her visage appearing through the smoke as she seemed to be wandering about trying to find something. “Please, it’s been days, Luna. Whatever this nightmare is, we can defe-” But as the smoke begins to clear, Celestia herself is able to see you come within her vision. She paused, looking rather confused. “Anon?... Oh no, please tell me you have nothing to do with my sister’s loss of mind. What did you do?” Hoo boy, it seemed she actually had no clue what was going on. Are you fucking serious? Luna didn’t tell her? What, did she just say 'Sister, help me!' and that was it? And fuck, she’s already putting you on the chopping block. Well fuck that…
You retaliate by pointing your hoof towards Celestia while angrily saying “Hey, I have nothing to do with this. She came into my dreams and then decided to be the thought police! Like, she’s been antagonizing me just because she doesn’t like what she sees!”
Luna, like some child who had been accused of wrongdoing, just blinks into existence beside Celestia, angrily pointing back at you. “He lies! What he has been imagining are things most foul! I have been trying to show him his wrongs but he refuses to listen!”
Was she serious?! “They’re my dreams and my thoughts! It’s not like I’m acting on them or anything! I mean, hell, she tried to use my thoughts against me and… heh” Just thinking about having them cuties around you made you chuckle and blush somewhat “Well, me and her both know how that turned out.”
Luna’s mouth scrunched in frustration. “Do you see what I mean, Sister?! Foul! Utterly and completely disgusting!”
Celestia just looked utterly confused. At first, you thought she was going to say something to you, but instead she looks to Luna with a heavy sigh. “Are you telling me you had me worried sick for days, with you locking yourself in the royal archives, because Anon had ‘foul’ thoughts? For Equestria’s sake, Luna, we’ve seen the abominations inside Anon’s mind before… No offense… Why is it now that it bothers you so?”
“Sister! This is much worse than clowns and horrifying butterfly like creatures! Much worse!” Luna was now on the defensive, unable to believe that Celestia seemed to be more mad at her than you.
“I’m sure it is. And if it was anypony else, there’d be cause for alarm. But this is Anon, who at this point I’m sure has imagined much worse since then. This was not worth you risking your health, nor does it require my presence.” Wow, Celestia was actually regally standing up to Luna. Ok, sure, it did make you sound pretty bad. But fuck, it was your thoughts, you were entitled to have them.
“S-sister! H-how can you take the situation so lightly? Mnnghhh!” Luna wasn’t having this, she was too close to her goal to have it taken away because Celestia thought it was not worth looking into. No, Luna would do whatever it took to prove that she was right in this situation. Her horn began to glow as ponies began to appear before you all. “Fine then, we will go straight into the issue. Behold, my sister, the thoughts that Anon wishes to surround himself with. Thoughts that need purification, not just for Equestria’s sake, but for his own. I had held off telling you about this when I required your aid, but now... BEHOLD, TRUE FOULNESS!” She lets out the the Royal Canterlot voice on that last one.
The ponies that appear are all royal guard stallions and mares, all approaching and then licking at the body of… OH HOLY SHIT! HAHA! HOLY FUCK, LUNA, YOU SERIOUS?! Luna created a dream Celestia who was laying on a bed, moaning softly as she laid on her back, spread, as the royal guards began to lick at her neck, chest, lips, belly, and legs. It was pretty damn hot, although a lot of the naughtier bits were obviously being censored out.
“What?! What is this?! Luna, what is going on?!” Celestia finally seemed horrified by what she was seeing, it seems she had never seen anything this degenerate before. And this was certainly something she’d never do.
“Isn’t it obvious, sister?” Luna says in a more calm yet dominating voice, finally feeling like her side was getting through. “These are the kinds of thoughts that pass through Anon’s mind. He enjoys such thoughts, even when they don’t include him. It does not matter who he imagines, as they always end up in a state similar to this. Truly degenerate, in such a way that I truly feel he needs saving. This vision here, is still but a portion of what he thinks of… As this situation can be made far worse.”
Celestia just looked at you, wide eyed, in disbelief. “Anon… Do these thoughts truly pass through your mind?”
Ahh dammit. why did you suddenly feel guilt? Your ears began to fold as a horrid thought passes through your mind. If Celestia was gonna be pissed off at you here, then what kind of chance were you going to have tomorrow? Maybe, if you just save face… “I mean, yeah. It’s just how we humans imagine stuff. I-” But you are unable to finish as Celestia, in a commanding tone, tells you to be silent. She then looks to Luna.
“Tell me, Sister. How much were you truly affected by such thoughts?” Celestia asks Luna, in a rather cold manner.
“You can see it for yourself, Sister. I am glad you are starting to see why I was affected so deeply, as such things had never been heard of in Equestria. Mares on mares, multiple stallions on single mares, with such actions like the one we see before us. This kind of thinking has no place in Equestria, and I feel it needs to be purged. Although, I’d also like to state that I do not think lowly of Anon, as he is still a friend and a hero… But even he must understand why such thoughts cannot be allowed. Certainly we’d never think of such thoughts.” Luna says, also sounding quite regal and official.
“Yes… You’re correct.” Celestia then turns to her dream created self still being lick-pleasured by the guards. “Perhaps remove the mares from the equation and this might be something fun to think about from time to time.”
“Yes, that seems more logical to- WHAT?!” Luna jumps back and nearly falls over in surprise. “SISTER?! PLEASE TELL ME THOSE WORDS DIDN’T ACTUALLY LEAVE YOUR LIPS!”
Wut? Were you dreaming? Well, yeah you were… But wut?
“Oh, come on…” Celestia said as she rolled her eyes at Luna “Yes, what we are seeing now is a little much. But that’s to be expected from Anon, because well… It’s him, it honestly doesn’t surprise me. I’m just surprised it bothers you so much.”
“You can’t be serious! Of course this bothers me! It should bother you too! H-he has even imagined us! Sisters! Doing such things to each other! In ways that would be for a stallion and a mare to produce a child! Two mares, Sister! It doesn’t make sense!” Luna’s eyes were wide as her pupils shrunk, holy crap, she was bugging out at the fact that her sister, Celestia, seemed so calm about it.
“Anon… have you imagined such a thing? Despite your obligations to your marefriend?” Oh shit! OH SHIT! How could you fucking justify that?! Ngh, come on, you’re human! Just explain it! C’mon, don’t be a pussy! Fuck man, ponies don’t understand shit!
“Hey! C-c’mon! It’s not like I’d actually try to do that with either of you! Or anypony really! Those thoughts are just really hot to me! I’d never actually betray Diamond like that! Honest! You’re a pony! So you j-just don’t get it! That’s how we humans roll!” Dammit, C’mon… Fuck man, you were toast!
“Ok… So if I offered to push that fake version off that bed so we could do similar things to one another, you’d say no? And I mean doing such things right now.” Celestia said, finding it difficult to hide her own smirk.
Both you and Luna’s jaw dropped at those words. You blushed deep… Was she… Offering to fuck you?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOD NO! YOU COULD FUCK CELESTIA, BUT THAT’D MAKE YOU THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE EVER! GYAAAHHH! You fall to the ground, whining. “DAMMIT! NOOO! WHY COULDN’T YOU MAKE THIS OFFER BEFORE THINGS GOT SERIOUS! IT’S NOT FAIR! IT’S NOT FAIR!”
“There, you see? He’s devoted, nothing to worry about.” Celestia tells Luna with a nod.
“NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?! WHAT ABOUT THE WORDS THAT LEFT YOUR LIPS, SISTER!” Luna bellowed out as she pointed accusingly at Celestia “MY OWN SISTER! INTO SUCH… THINGS! HOW COULD YOU?!”
Celestia lets out a tired sigh, smiles, and shakes her head. “Oh… I’m sorry. I suppose living over a millennia, I had never ever seen such handsome young stallion guards in such a way that I’d imagine them servicing me in such acts as hoof massages, feeding me, and much snuggling as well. Although, we both know I have and have imagined such things. Luna, are you going to seriously lose your mind trying to lecture Anon on such matters when similar thoughts have crept into your mind? Hmmm?”
“A-ah, ah… That’s… That’s simply not true! I-I am the Princess of the Night! I am regal and just! Erm… With only one one thousand long instance of being evil.” Luna began to falter, stepping back as she began to blush ever so slightly. “I’d never even imagine such a thing!”
“Oh, and I’m sure you’re right. Just like I’m sure your stay on the moon had never once made you imagine, even as Nightmare Moon, the company of stallions at all.” Celestia said, doing her best to seem serious as her lips began to further crack into a smile.
Luna began to blush harder, but pointed towards Celestia anyway and said “You’d make light of such a situation?!”
“I’m not hearing a no.” Celestia said, locking her eyes with Luna’s.
“Gyah!... Ah! But… It’s nowhere near as bad as he imagines it!” Luna points over to you, as she now entered the defensive.
Wait… Hold on… “WAIT! ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU IMAGINED HAVING FUN WITH MULTIPLE STALLIONS! YOU HYPOCRITE! SHEESH! WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?! HUH?!”
“G-mnngh! It’s still not as… Come on… Don’t look at me like… OK FINE! I’D LOVE TO BE IN THE COMPANY OF VERY HUNKY STALLIONS, I ADMIT IT! But, Sister! TWO MARES! That makes no sense! Mares wouldn’t do such a thing!” Luna was desperate, to the point she’d rather not be seen as a loser rather than being morally right.
“Its over, Sister. Let me tell you something I have told you long before. Everypony, including you, I, and Anon, have our ways to entertain our thoughts. There is no wrong way to fantasize, Luna, I’ve said this to you before. Anon, I think, is a prime example of that saying. His imagination, from anypony who wishes to be ignorant, can be seen as dangerous and violent. But we both know better, that it just seems to be part of his human nature. Let it go, Luna, it’s over. You have a duty to uphold, and I have an…” Celestia looks over to her dream self again, then back to Luna “Interesting dream to try.”
Luna’s eye twitched, she raised her hoof to try to counter… But she had nothing more to counter with, especially knowing that she did have a job to do in defending the dreams of those who rely on her. Even more so, she knew what Celestia meant by those words, but she feared that Celestia would put her further in her place in such a way that she might be seen as an actual degenerate. So she folds, and sighs in defeat. “Fine… I shall leave it be. B-but I better not be judged for having such dreams myself! You hear me! I will haunt both your dreams should such a fabrication and twisting of stories come out!” She then looked to you, still grumpy faced, and said “And to you, Anon. I apologize… But I swear, if you tell anypony...”
“Nope! Nope! Haha! Secret is safe with me! But you know…” Fuck it, it seemed Celestia was on your side, so it’d be safe to say it. “Multiple Stallions would mean… Y’know, two stallions. Sure, they’d be on you, buuuut don't you think that totally proves that you totally do imagine the same kind of-” But you are cut off as Luna adorably barks at you in anger.
“ENOUGH! I HAVE WORK TO DO! GOODBYE!” And with that, Luna disappeared in a flash of light as a door appeared, opening for Celestia so she may leave to her own dreams.
Celestia just giggled, and let out a sigh of relief. “Well, I’m glad that’s over with. She was almost like a zombpony due to the lack of sleep she was getting. I better be going myself, I have to be ready in the morning. Oh, and don’t worry about this. I already understood you most likely had such thoughts given how you look when among ponies that catch your attention… Such as myself.”
You blush deep, feeling those feelings, feelings that you thought you had better control of. Considering you were pretty much a hornball when you first came to Equestria. “U-umm, well. Umm.. I mean, if you’re gonna come on to me liiike that. Erm… I mean, it’s all just a dream, right?” S-she seemed to know what was up. She knew what sex was.
“Heh, Anon… Even if I somehow was willing, I’d crush your little body, even in a dream. Now, I’m serious, I need to be going. I need to be ready and fresh in the morning for when you arrive. Good night, Anon, pleasant dreams.” Celestia says with a cute wink as she walks over and into the door, disappearing upon entry.
You fall flat on your face, whining. Goddammit! You let your libido make you look like a doofus! Agh! Sure, Luna is off your back, but at what price?! Making you look the fool?! DARNIT! Wait, the Dream Celestia was still there… Heheheh, and you were still very lucid. Looks like this night wouldn’t be a total waste after all. Just walk over and…
Wait, did she know you were going to see her tomorrow? DID SHE KNOW YOU WERE COMING?! HOW?! GODDAMMIT! YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE YOUR COOL ENTRANCE SINCE SHE’D BE EXPECTING IT! GODD-
In your shocking realization, you actually end up waking up from your lucid dreaming. Upon looking around and realizing you had awoken and lost your chance at actual lucid sexy times with A Celestia, you only had one word to say.
Ugh, it was morning, looking at your clock it was nine thirty AM. You thought you’d have woken up earlier, but it seems you still do have a penchant for waking up a little later than you should. What a pain in the ass that dream was, goddamn. You yawn, stretch like a cat, and hop off your bed. You look at your saddlebag for a moment before putting it on, and then look at your window. Hm, you still had a little time, you think, before you really need to see Celestia, why not see if the X-Captain is finally back. You move over to your blinds and shove them aside… But still gone, how odd.
“Weird… Hm.” Maybe Discord knows? Well, you could easily ask him, all you had to do was put your hoof to your ear and… “Discord, yo, Discord. You awake?”
“I am, good morning, Anon. How did your visit with Celestia go?” He asked, sounding like his usual pseudo intellectual self.
“Haven’t gone to see her yet. Just wanted to ask though, have you seen the X-captain at all? He still hasn’t shown back up at my window yet and I just wanted to check if you knew where he was.” You say, tapping at the window to see if the sound would attract him.
“I have not, but that shouldn’t be troubling to you. He can’t escape the chaotic realm, and he most likely finally got bored, I know I would.” Discord says.
“Yeah, I guess.” Still, was it wise to leave him alone? You might have to investigate later before you lose your unlimited power. For now, you had other things to attend to. And… OH shit! Hold on! “Discord! Oh crap! I forgot, I don’t think I ever actually signed up for Twilight’s school officially. Do you think you could take care of that for me?”
“No! I’m not doing any kind of school sign ups ever again. Don’t you remember what happened last time?” He asked
“You puked out ink and scared Cheerilee and Fluttershy?” Like, that’s what actually happened.
“No! I nearly crumbled to dust! But of course you wouldn’t have noticed. No, if you want to join her school THAT badly, then…” You hear a snap, and a flash of light appears before you. Next thing you knew, you saw some sort of permission slip float in front of you. It hovered there, then slipped into your saddlebag on it’s own. “Use this, it should be good enough for Twilight. Anyhoo, don’t fret over our mutant friend, he probably just wandered off. Oh, and something else.” You hear another snap, as a delicious looking rice krispies treat suddenly appeared and hovered in front of you. “This little treat… Does nothing. I merely felt you deserved a delicious something to eat before you depart.”
“Oh, hey, thanks!” That’s nice of him. You sit down, grab the bar between your hooves, and start munching away. Mmmm, tastes exactly as you remember. “It’s pretty good!”
“Of course it is, it's a more flavorful and delicious version concocted by yours truly. In any case, I have a few matters to attend to. Have a wonderfully chaotic day, Anon.” And with that, he closed the feed on the codec.
You continued to adorably munch on your treat until it was all gone. Yum! Gotta hand it to Discord, he can make a good treat or food when he wants to. Welp, might as well go see Twilight and get this settled. You put your horn on and give it a tap with your hoof. Hoo baby, time for a stress free teleport to her office. She had to be at her school by now and was most likely doing some sort of paperwork, so now would be the best time to see her. All you have to do is imagine a head office and…
In a beam of light downward, you appear in the rather immaculate and book filled head office of Twilight Sparkle. You glow a shining blue as you appear within the beam, feathers of white spreading everywhere as magical glowing wings appear behind you, bursting into stardust as you gently land in front of the marvelous desk of the head mare of the school. You look on, like a god… Onto the desk… Goddammit, you were too small to look over it! Whatever, just look cool, you nailed it.
You then hear clapping from the other side of the desk as a familiar baby dragon congratulates you “Woah, Anon, that was pretty rad! Though, if you did that to spook Twilight, you kinda came in at the wrong time.”
AH GODDAMMIT! You walk over to the side of the desk and see Spike on a rather comfy throne-like chair, going through paperwork and sorting things. “Spike? Ah come on, where’s Twilight? Why are you here?”
"Number one assistant, remember?" Spike chuckles as he looks over a thick stack of papers “Anyway, she's teaching Applejack’s class right now since she’s out for the day on account of her back. Gotta tell ya, it’s a good thing she didn’t know that Ganon guy was really Sombra or we’d all be in trouble. Speaking of trouble, why do you want to spook Twilight anyway? It’s her first day running the school and she doesn’t need that kind of stress right now.” Spike stops what he is doing and looks over to you, waggling a claw at you “C’mon, Anon, don’t go being a jerk, ok?”
“Hey, hey! I just wanted to have a little fun, that’s it. I didn’t want to be a problem. In fact…” You use your magic to slip out Discord’s permission slip from your saddlebag and hover it over to Spike. “I wanted to give this to Twilight, basically making it one hundred percent official that I will become a student in her school.”
“Uh huh…” Spike mumbles as he looks over the permission slip, then puts it in one of the drawers of the desk as he pulls out a large scroll from the same drawer. “I guess, but Twilight has already officially enrolled you. In fact, she made a very specific list when it came to enrolling you. Dude, you already said you were gonna be her student, so you should have expected her to get that all ready considering she doubted Discord would actually come to do any kind of signing himself. Look, see?” Spike turns the list over to show you everything on the list has been checked, all but one thing. “Enroll you, check. Have your class schedule set, check. Have your supplies ready for you, check. The only thing that isn’t checked is setting up a dorm room for you. She didn’t know if you’d want one or not so she is mostly holding it off for another set of students since she doubts you’ll agree to stay in one.”
What in the hell? Twilight already had shit set up for you? Why would she have a fucking checklist like that? Why did she- Actually, why are you asking these questions? Of course Twilight cares about you, Twilight cares about anyone she considers her friend. Hell, if she somehow forgot about you years ago and then remembers, she’ll go through hell and high water to see you again and make things right. Still, you were just a little stunned considering you didn’t think she’d go through that much after the whole Chrysalis thing. “I see… Um, well. Thanks, to her I mean, that’s pretty nice of her. Umm, so I’ll be officially here in a few days, so yeah, good to know I can just walk right in without an issue. Erm… So, things going ok? Besides the whole Applejack thing?”
“Yeah, things are going great! Everypony is making sure the classes are interesting, fun, and full of learning. The students seem to be pretty cool with it so far. Oh, and I ran into a dragon who happens to know you. Didn’t know you went to the Dragon Lands, Anon.” Spike hops down from the chair, walks over to you, and gives you a nudge in the shoulder. “She said nothing but cool things about you, Anon. I hope you aren’t trying to trade things up, if you know what I mean.”
Ah, come on. Was he talking about Smolder? Well, she is super cute. Kinda really cute, the kind of cute you wouldn’t mind bringing into your room for some real steamy action. Buuuuut. “Ah, c’mon. Tch, it isn’t like that. I was just there trying out some… Hero stuff. Wanted to broaden my horizons.” You lied. Oof, if it was one thing you couldn’t let anyone know was the fact that you had been helping that creepy Neighsay guy. Seems like he’s been wrong so far about the school if everything is going smoothly. And given your interaction with Smolder, Ember, and of course Spike, not all dragons seemed like huge assholes. “But uhhh, yeah. Hey, did she mention how I helped her out?”
“Yeah. Pretty cool of you to help her smash up that gem boulder. Look!” Spike pulls out a small green gem “She even gave me one of the gem shards to eat later. Says the boulder’s gems that spilled out was enough to keep her satisfied for awhile.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t that tough. I just beat… Wait…” The fuck? THE FUCK?! “Did you say gem… Boulder?”
“Yeah, gem boulder. You helped her bust one up, right?” Spike asked, a little curious as to why you seemed to have not known what you had done.
Nooooooo, you helped her win a prize while busting up a stupid ass dragon. “Sure, yeah, totally.” Why was this pissing you off so much? The fact that she lied to him? The fact that it pretty much means Garble doesn’t get insulted by the world like he should? The fact Spike doesn’t get any true justice? The fact your super awesome win wasn’t acknowledged? How about all of the above.
“Yeah! Totally cool. Better be careful, Anon, you don’t want to become the most popular guy at school, y’know? I kind of know what happens when fame gets into your head, and trust me, you don’t want it. And… Yo, you ok? Something wrong?” Spike asked.
Ohhhh no, you wanted to know what the fuck was up with this. Why would she lie? You worked hard to make that win spectacular! Sure, you only knew her for a day, but she seemed cool and, er, cute enough to not be a bitch. No, you had to figure things out right now. You looked to Spike with a forced grin and an eye twitch. “N-nothing is wrong… Anyway, gotta go see Celestia now, urgent business and all. But er, say I wanted to see Smolder right now, what class would she be in?”
“Well, you have the same schedule as her. Hold on!” Spike goes back through the papers, and pulls out a schedule to look over it. “Yeah, Twilight wanted you to be in the most diverse class set and… Here we go! She’s in Pinkie’s class right now. But, uh, why does it even matte- Anon?” When Spike looked back up, you were gone, without a sound. “Woah, spooky.”
As for you, you turned yourself into a shadow puddle as you began to seek out Pinkie’s classroom. You began to explore the halls of the- woah, geez. This fucking place was nice as hell, like a cleaned up Hogwarts! Pictures hung on walls, and there was a fountain, and multiple floors, and libraries, and holy fucking shit, how did she afford all this? Fucking christ, how?! Whatever, you keep zooming through until finally you hear a familiar giggling sound. Ahhh, that had to be it. You rushed towards the sound and through the door to find yourself in… A bakery of sorts, with all kinds of party stuff ready to use inside. There were multiple baking stations, with pairs of students of various races helping each other make whatever they were making. None of them seemed stressed though, as Pinkie encouraged them every step of the way. And, hmm, even more interesting, Smolder was teamed up with Ocellus. You slide on over to their station, and try to listen in as you plan your next move.
“...So you really don’t mind helping me make this gem cake? Kinda weird, considering we only met today. Then again, isn’t it kind of advanced to be doing this sort of thing on the first day?” Smolder said, as she did her best to read the recipe book and understand what it wanted her to do.
“Well, I’ve read that Professor Pinkie Pie likes to do anything fun and make everycreature happy. So I can understand her not really understanding that making treats based off our kingdoms can be a little tricky. But I guess that’s why she wants us to work together. Also, she did say she wasn’t grading us for this part, she was just grading us on how we interact during the party at the end of class. Er... Which I admit, I am a little more nervous about than I thought. I thought I’d be a little more open to things considering how much I told you about learning from Anon and his bravery in interacting with our old queen.”
“Eh, she sounded kind of scary to begin with, at least for most anycreature else, so you sound like you're doing ok so far. But hey, don’t worry, anycreature that gives you any sort of trouble will have to answer to me.” Smolder said as she pointed to herself, with a confident smile across her face. “Although, evercreature here is a lot nicer than I thought they’d be. Especially that hippogriff, she kinda creeps me out a little.”
“Oh, that’s Silverstream, I met her when I arrived. I couldn’t find any reading material on hippogriffs other than some recent news articles about the defeat of the Storm King. But she’s nice, I like her. I just kind of hope she never ever runs into Anon though.” Ocellus says as she, quite the opposite to Smolder, is able to follow the gem recipe with ease.
“Why? Does he hate hippogriffs?” Smolder asks.
“No, in fact, I think he'd like her a lot, especially with his reputation with them. They kind of see him as this ‘Legendary’ hero, and Silverstream very much wants to meet Anon. The problem with that is Anon has this sort of weakness to certain, uhm, types of girls. It might end reall-” But suddenly Ocellus freezes in place, as if stuck in time. In fact, the entire room freezes in a blue hue, with everyone and everything in the same position in the very moment things changed.
“Ocellus? Ocellus? Hey…” Smolder waved her claws in front of her, but no response. “Are you ok? Why are you… Oh geez, what happened? Did I fall asleep? Why is everything stopped?”
“...Because I put us in a pocket dimension my dad used on me once. It’s literally timeless.” You said from behind Smolder as you rise up from your shadow puddle.
“Anon? W-woah! Uhm…” Smolder turned around, and was nearly spooked by your sudden appearance. She still looked nervous as she looked around, clearly uncomfortable with the understandably unnerving situation she found herself in. “So… What’s up? What’s with the whole time freeze thing then? It’s kinda cool, but…” But as she continued to look at you, she began to realize you didn’t seem too happy about something, or about someone. “Come on!” She suddenly took the offense, getting unnerved and annoyed “What’s up with you?! Do you mind not doing whatever you’re doing already?! What is this all about?!”
“Gem boulders apparently. Mind explaining that?” You ask her, looking at her with your own discontent as you tapped your hoof on the ground.
“Oh… You spoke to that dragon. So… Is that what got you so wound up? Anon, c’mon, it was just a thing. It’s better that this is the story than what actually happened. It works out for everycreature.” Smolder said, rubbing her shoulder as her dishonesty really began to shine through.
“No, it’s not a thing! I worked really hard in getting you that gem hoard! Like geez, why lie? Ok, maybe I shouldn’t be upset because that was our first meeting. But you know what? I thought we had already become good friends, especially after I utterly decimated that stupid freaking Garble an-” But suddenly you are cut off as Smolder suddenly enters a rage of her own, pointing her claw close enough to your face to make you back off.
“Hey! Don’t ever call my brother stupid, alright?! He’s a good guy with a good soul. And yeah, I thought we became good friends too, but I promise I’ll clobber you if you say another thing about Garble! Ok?!” She was fucking shaking her fist at you, her nose releasing some smoke in her sudden r-WAIT! DID SHE SAY GARBLE WAS HER BROTHER?! WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?!
“W-What?! Garb-WHAT?! Your cute hotness is the sister of THAT GUY?! WHAT?!” WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?! THERE’S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT?!
Suddenly, Smolder backed up in confusion to your words. “Cute whatne-” But before she could finish those words, you screeched to not only make sure she didn’t finish those words, but to get to the bottom of this nonsense as quick as possible.
“NOTHING! NOOOTHING! But wha?! What?! Garble is your brother?! Really?!” Like, what in the what now?!
“Yeah. He’s my brother. And uhhh…” Smolder sighs “I know I say he’s a good guy, but I guess your first impression of him may not have been the best representation of how great he can be.”
NO FUCKING SHIT! THE FIRST EPISODE HE’S IN AND HE WANTS TO COMMIT BIRD HOMICIDE! AND WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY GREAT?! WEREN’T THEY ENEMIES?! WUUUT?! Ugh, you were suddenly getting a massive headache. You fall back on your ass and began to rub your head. “Ok… I’m mentally spent. What’s going on? Why does nothing make sense anymore?”
“Uhhh, geez, I didn’t realize it would be that big a deal. I mean, we kind of lie and cheat and beat things up all the time, that's how dragons roll. I thought you knew that… Even though we really shouldn’t be doing that, according to Princess Ember and Headmare Twilight.” Smolder said, as she began to suddenly feel a little sheepish over the whole thing.
“You think? Cripes, why even lie then? No, I mean, geez, why set me up against your brother then? Why were you both fighting? From what I saw, you’d have been happy to see him clobbered anyway. The guy was treating you like garbage!” Ugh, what was even going on anymore.
“Oh… Yeah, I guess I kind of forgot you saw that. Look, just let me explain, alright? Then maybe it’ll make more sense.” She tells you.
“Please do, because I’m not even sure if I’m in the same universe anymore. God, I need an Advil.” Your head felt like bursting. This had to be the biggest bullshit you had ever heard of to date.
“Yeah, uhh… Dunno what that is. Anyway…” And so Smolder began her explanation.
Her and Garble were siblings, really good siblings actually, at least when it came to each other. Smolder explained that Garble was actually a really sensitive guy who really cared about his self image. Apparently, the stories and rumors about you got out of hand within the Dragon Lands and a lot of the dragons started mocking him because his sister was going to a friendship school. Basically, he himself got pegged as some weakling who couldn’t even take on the Hero Colt.
Smolder herself decided to sacrifice any respect she did have with the other dragons to make Garble look better. By starting a false sibling separation, it made Garble look like he was tough enough to take on anything if he was willing to utterly disregard a sister he used to hold so dear. Though, it seemed he took it far enough that it did put Smolder down some. Add to this the fact that a gem pool was started to see who could take you down, added to the fact that Garble had thrown in a considerable amount, and it seemed he really was willing to pay and do anything to have a chance to crush you.
And then you actually showed up. It allowed Smolder to quickly hatch a plan that would work out for everyone. She’d semi-lie to you about the fight, as she actually felt you didn’t truly have a chance against Garble, but still needed you there to get a fight going on. When she went to talk to Garble, apparently the true plan was for him to smack you up some to gain the respect of the other dragons. Then he’d fake an injury or sickness and Smolder would come in for the final blow you’d let her have given the plan you came up with her. In the end, Garble would be respected for bravely facing the Hero Colt while Smolder gets respect for getting the final blow, with both essentially winning the hoard since they are family to begin with.
What actually happened was that you pissed off Garble so badly that he took things seriously, got beat, and Smolder had to come in anyway to make sure they’d still win the hoard without arousing any suspicion that it was rigged. Even Princess Ember couldn’t be told, if she was told, then she might try to pass some sort of judgement that didn't serve in her or Garble's best interest. In the end though, respect among the dragons for her and Garble still ended up being what they wanted in the end, and Smolder did leave Garble a good amount of gems to help him with healing after the asskicking you gave him.
Smolder also didn’t want to really ruin her new friendship with you either, as she did find you rather cool for a colt. “...And that’s it. Does it make sense now?”
Seriously? That sounded like more of an excuse to retcon something, but whatever, it made some sense. Cripes though, dragons can be real assholes. The only thing you really doubted was Garble’s sensitivity though, that could just be chalked up to Smolder just liking him as a brother. “I guess? I mean, I’m not even going to ask if dragons can be that petty and mean, I know they can. So I guess I can understand why you lied to Spike. Ugh, fine, ok. I get it.”
“Yeah, that’s how it really went. Sorry though, about the lie I mean. Headmare Twilight said we really shouldn’t lie at all when she was giving us that lecture on honesty. Erm, anyway, are we still friends?” Smolder asked, a little worried that she may have killed this already premature friendship.
“Yeah, it’s fine. We cool. It’s fine, I guess it’s alright if that's the version of the story we tell everypony else.” You sigh, it’d be fine. God, still, how could ugly ass Garble have such a fine sister? Made you wonder what their mom looked like.
“Cool… So, are you starting school today or not? Kind of want to ask you about this whole bugqueen thing Ocellus has been talking about, seems interesting.” Smolder says as she looks around, still a little irked by the pocket dimension “And can we get out of here? It’s starting to get creepy looking at everycreatures’ frozen faces.”
“Yeah, everything will be back to normal when I leave. As in, nah, I don’t start yet, and I got some important stuff I gotta do right now. But hey, it already sounds like you’re making new friends, and on your first day too. Good work, Smolder.” You say, now showing an encouraging grin.
Smolder blushed just a little as she grabbed her arm sheepishly “Yeah, well. It was kind of easy when we all agreed the Headmare's lecture was a little on the boring side. Ocellus thought it was 'fascinating', but man, the rest of us found it booooooring. It’s kind of funny actually, I was talking to this yak who mentioned she wanted her chance to meet you, pretty weird right? Like, I mean that the friends I’ve been making either know you or want to meet you.”
A yak? Wut? What business did you have with a yak? “Nah, I just have that kind of aura. But, uh, what’s this about a yak? I don’t remember doing anything for any yak.”
“Uhm, it’s more like she just wants to beat you in some challenge. She says the yaks of Yak Yakiwhatever have been pretty peeved to hear that some colt has a super strong head or something like that. She wants to meet you so she can prove that nopony can head smash as good as a yak. I dunno, I know you can take a hit but she looks like she could smash you into pulp.”
Pfffft! A yak thought they could take you on at head smashing?! HAHAHAHAH! Sure whatever! “Yeah, we’ll see about that once I’m officially here. For now, I’m glad that you’re making friends, and I can’t wait to hang out with you and everycreature else when I come in after a few days. But really, I gotta go meet with the Equestrian princess and get things squared away.”
“Gotcha. Looking forward to that fight too… And not just because I got a bet going against you. Sorry about that by the way, but you know, what’s it called? Physics, I think. Yeah, physics.” Smolder shrugged, only now feeling a little bad that she made a bet against you.
Bah, whatever. Sheesh, still, you’d think if she really wanted to be solid friends she’d bet FOR you. Well, at least she was honest about it. “Well, we’ll see about that. Anyway, take care, Smolder, seeya soon.”
And with that, you left, removing the pocket dimension from around Smolder as you vanished in a flash of light.
Finally, it was time to get back on track and go get the favor of Celestia, which should then make it easier to get Luna’s favor, and then you can move on to Cadance. This would have to be handled delicately to be sure, as you knew no matter what Celestia had told you about understanding and how she hurt you, she wouldn’t let this easily slide. Given that she knows, she probably already has some kind of strong defense. Well, whatever she had planned, you’d not give in.
And with that, you literally just… Pop right into the Canterlot Castle dining room, as in, you just pop in with a ‘pop’ sound, right on a chair. You had teleported earlier back at the school to the place you knew Celestia might be if she wasn’t already out and about, the dining room, where she will usually enjoy some sort of delicious treat or pastry and why is there a huge stack of pancakes in your face?
Were you on Celestia’s seat? You slowly move over the plate, to see Celestia in a middle seat of a grand table within the unnecessarily decorated and colorful dining room. She was just calmly using her magic to cut into the pancakes she had, take a piece with a fork, and bite into it. Odder still, there was a third plate of pancakes in front of an empty seat at the other side of the table. Celestia stopped for a moment, cleaned her chin with a handkerchief, and looked to you with a smile. “Well, I guessed right that you’d be here, Anon. Though… Erm, I expected something a little more grandiose. Are you feeling ill? Or are you still upset with my sister?”
Wut? “Ok, don’t creep me out like that, Celestia. How did you know I’d be here?! How’d you know I’d be right here in this specific spot? Do you know what I’ve come to talk about?”
Celestia nods “Twilight sent a letter about your meeting with her, so I do know what you’ve come for. As for knowing where’d you be, I guess you can say that I have the amazing power to meld my mind with yours to see and know exactly what you’re thinking. In fact, Anon, you are probably already feeling defensive thinking we’d have a debate on whether or not I’d allow you another chance to reform Queen Chrysalis. But, going through your mind and what you’ve gone through, I can already tell you that there is no debate to be had. I already support your decision, and wish you good luck.”
WUT?! HOLY FUCK! WHEN DID SHE HAVE THAT POWER?! OH GOD, THAT’S WORSE THAN LUNA’S DREAM SHIT! “W-woah… Hold on, when did you have the ability to do that?!” Is that why she wasn’t truly affected by her dream self last night? Because she… Knew you? You put your hooves to your head, trying to feel if she was in your mind. “Stay out of there, Celestia! You don’t know what you’re getting into! Ok?! What kind of ridiculous power is that anyway?! Geez! Because there’s no... “ Wait, there’s no way she could do that, or else a lot of Equestria’s problems would have been solved a lot sooner. You knew she could be clairvoyant, but that’s it. “You’re just joshing me, aren’t you?”
Celestia giggled to herself, and nodded again. “I am, but it was still funny to see you react like I did have such powers, and I only guessed where you’d be by placing the plates in the two spots I’d think you’d appear in due to your, ahrm, high confidence within yourself, which was either in mine or Luna’s chair. In any case, I do mean what I say. You have to remember, Anon, that we already had a chat and an understanding of one another not too long ago. I know what you wish to achieve and you have proven yourself to be capable. You managed to reform the Storm King’s commander, after all. A unicorn with a broken horn that had managed to defeat all our royal guards and three of the four royal princesses. You have come a long way since you arrived in Equestria, and I feel confident enough to allow you more of a chance this time. Also, the syrup is in that little pot right next to your plate, use as much as you like.”
Wut? “Wait, hold on! What about a discussion? Like, what? You don’t have any problems with it whatsoever?”
“Convincing Twilight is already quite a feat when it comes to Queen Chrysalis, so I feel there’s no real need to discuss what I already know. All I can really do now is just wait for my sister to arrive so we can discuss it with her. I’m hoping these pancakes will help ease her mind and make her more understanding of the situation, I made sure the best ingredients were used to make them, and that includes the syrup we have to make them deliciously sweet.” Celestia says as she begins to eat again, taking a bite and cooing to herself as she brought a hoof to her cheek “I admit, even I’m quite taken with this particular batch. Go on, Anon, give them a try.”
Well ok then, it seems this was a lot easier than you thought it was going to be. Though, as easy as Celestia was to convince, you knew Luna would be difficult as fuck to get her to see reason. You ponder to yourself, trying to figure out what to say to her as you use your magic to slice the pancake stack with an invisible knife, cutting them into small bite sized pieces you can bring to your mouth with your magic. Huh, these really were quite delicious. You start happily munching away until a thought hits you in the head. “Wait, so we’re just gonna do this right now? Shouldn’t we give her some time to calm down?”
“Luna doesn’t calm down, Anon. That should have been clear when she wasn’t willing to leave your personal thoughts alone. No, best we tackle this now, with a delicious breakfast waiting for her to brighten her mood.” Celestia said as she took another bite of her pancakes.
“I guess, but aren’t you like that too?” You ask, because you knew she fucking was.
Celestia actually seems to take offense to that, slowly putting down her fork as she looks at you with a slightly less pleasant smile, giving a small little chuckle as she speaks. “What do you mean by that, Anon?”
“Well, I mean not calming down. I mean, once you get pissy over something you don’t seem to back down from it. I mean, geez, you held a lot of things over me harder than Luna did at times. Heck, given how the whole thing with Thorax and Scrappy went when she first met them, she calmed down real quick about the whole Scootaloo thing. You? You took my horn away over something dumb, which nearly got me killed, by the way… By a chimera. I’m sure you had heard about that, and yet I still didn’t get my horn back until the end of the week anyway. I’m sure Twilight had to have sent some letter to you on the same day, right? I mean, she sent one to you over this.” You explained. Like really, you remember that chimera and how he almost killed you. How could Celestia not have realized at the time that your horn was your only means of defense and that you should have gotten it back that same day.
“Ahrm, when you put it in such a way, it does make it sound as if I was being a tad stubborn and overly judgmental. But I had sent a reply to Twilight stating to keep you out of danger for the rest of that week, which surely happened.” Celestia said, eyeing you more closely now that you were calling her out.
“And yet you were still judgmental, Sister…” Said a voice as a familiar figure stepped through the double doors into the dining hall. It was Luna, looking upon her sister with unamused and bagged eyes. “I agree with Anon, you are quite stubborn, much more than I. I remember when you blamed me for taking your cookies once, only for the truth to arise, showing you had not realized that you ate your entire container of said cookies. You still felt, even after that, that it was somehow still my fault.” Luna said as she noticed the pancakes, and went to go have a seat on the empty chair.
“Sister, nice of you to join us… Also we were foals, that happened a long time ago. I wouldn’t say that is a good representation on how either of us are today.” Celestia said, narrowing her eyes at her sister. “In any case, this isn’t an important discussion. What is important is your feelings on-” But Luna raises her hoof to stop her sister, to finish the sentence she was about to say.
“On Queen Chrysalis? I think she’s a monster, plain and simple. But I have decided to allow it, with no hesitation or reluctance.” Luna said as she calmly began to use her knife to cut through the pancakes. “Indeed, I had decided upon this decision once I had come upon the information about it.”
“What? And how did you come upon this decision? How did you know about it? You don’t read most of the letters I receive from Twilight. And I certainly hope you aren’t making this under-prepared decision just to spite me over something that isn’t true.” Celestia just further narrowed her eyes towards Luna. At this point, it was clear they were both having an attitude with each other.
“Because it is true, sister. Especially when it comes to Anon. While my anger towards him was just due to his negligence with the foal, Scootaloo. You took away his only means of defense. Just like you had a dream you shouldn’t have had. And just like you tried to have me be calm with the promise of pancakes while trying to spring this information on me during breakfast time. You are judgmental, but your analysis of situations isn’t always right, and your coy tactics to have a laugh here and there will not work this time.” Luna raises her head, and looks down at her sister with a very stoic look. “MY judgements have been more fair and right, while yours have been naive. I will let Anon have my blessing to reform Chrysalis due to his magnificent efforts in defeating the Storm King, befriending his commander, and his improvement of his character.”
“Really, because I think I said something similar when I allowed him the same thing. Also, my dreams are my business AND I only partly wanted to play a small joke on you with this matter given the fact that you had misjudged everything when it came to Anon and his thoughts while also having me worried for days about you. I believe you know that we play small tricks on each other from time to time, and I had already figured you were going to agree with me anyway. AND, annnd… I thought Anon was an actual foal at the time. And even then, the clairvoyance I do have didn’t allow me to realize he’d be attacked by a chimera.” Celestia was just staring hard at Luna now, not liking her tone or her words.
“...Which makes your judgement poor. At least my insistence for Anon to change his thought process was because, and we both can agree on this, it is highly degenerate and disgusting. Also, my decision sounds more official and royal.” Luna says, eyeing her sister as hard as she was doing to her.
“Hey! There’s nothing disgusting about those thoughts. They’re hot!” You shout out. Goddamn Luna, still not understanding… Oh god, she is suddenly giving you a death glare. “O-ok, maybe it’s a little d-degenerate.” Oh god, what did you get yourself into? They looked like they wanted to kill each other. “S-should I go?”
“Yes, I think my sister and I need to have a mor-GAH!” Suddenly, Celestia’s pancakes glow a dark night blue as one flies up and slaps her face. “Sister! Did you just initiate what I think you initiated? Do you not realize what you have done?!”
Luna just lets out a cackle as her own pancakes begin to hover around her. “Do you think I forgot about the rules of a royal food fight? No, despite it being too long, I will never forget such a game. Classic rules, my sister, the winning strike will decide who is truly the most wise within this room. Will it be you, will it be I, or will it be Anon?”
“Wait, did you just say me-AGDSFSDFD” Suddenly, the pot of syrup slams into your face and knocks you off your seat as you get drenched in syrup.
“Well, that’s Anon taken care of.” Luna cackles out as she rises in the air, ready for a fight. “Are you prepared, sister?”
Celestia nods, her horn glowing as carts of food started to roll in from the doors that led into the kitchen. “I am, sister. And I have brought my reinforcements.”
Luna smirked as she prepared herself “Reinforcements, hm? Well, let’s see how much that helps you. TO ARMS, MY SISTER, TO ARMS!”
Holy shit, next thing you knew, the dining room table flipped over as food suddenly started flying every which way as the sisters cackled, taunted, and hurled whatever was around at each other. Holy fucking christ, they were insane! You tried to run away, but you were so sticky that you ended up tripping forward. “Ugh, geez… Maybe if I EFSDFSD” As you turn around, you suddenly get slapped by a watermelon breaking upon your face. As the sweet and sticky taste of watermelon and syrup dripped off your face, you became silent and upset at yourself when you realized you had your horn at unlimited use that you could have used to avoid all this. You reach for it to put on your head, but geez, ugh… You felt so gross and sticky, eyuck. “Ogh, I feel so-SHIT! NO, WAIT! WAIT! I’M NOT A FOODSDAFDFSDFDF OMPH!” You suddenly felt grabbed by a magical force as you were hurled towards Luna. She managed to dodge as you just, ugh, slammed into the wall and very slowly slid down due to the syrup’s stickiness. You slowly land head first onto the ground as you gently flip onto your back. You just look up, unamused, groan, and place the horn on your head. “... Ok then, sisters are still capable of arguing with each other… Noted…”
And with that, you teleport yourself to the Crystal Empire. God, you felt like a tossed salad right now, geez.
W-well, that’s three down and one to go. Holy shit, what just fucking happened? It went from the usual amount of Celestia’s smug to her getting a tad pissy to Luna getting pissy and then you… Ugh, you were so damn sticky. How did this happen? When did the sisters become so argumentative? Whatever, fuck this shit, Cadance was sensible, this should be a walk in the park.
Near instantly, you appear in the audience chamber of the Crystal Castle. You look forward to see Cadance and Shining on their thrones, with little Flurry Heart in the legs of her mother. What was odd though was that Cadance looked quite horrified as Shining jumped forward, springing into action, and quickly announcing “Guards! Spears at the ready!”
OH GOD WHAT?! The next thing you knew, you had spears at your throat, ready to be plunged by Shining’s next command. Holy shit! What happened?! You were only here for two whole seconds and suddenly you were public enemy number one! “HOLY CRAP! WAIT! GEEZ! WHEN DID I BECOME THE BAD GUY?!”
“Wait… I know that voice.” Cadance murmurs to herself, then looks upon you from her throne as Flurry hides her face into her chest. “Anon?”
“YES! GEEZ! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! I DON’T WANT TO BE SWISS CHEESE!” Oh man those pointy points are close to your necky neck.
“Guards! Stand down! It’s the hero colt, Anon.” Cadance commands, the guards immediately but reluctantly backing off as everyone in the room gives you a very confused look.
“Thank you, geez! What, I don’t show up in awhile and everypony jumps my case for it?! What was with that, Shining?!” You just look at him, rather pissed off he’d do such a thing upon your entrance.
“Dude, one, you just popped out of nowhere. And two, you totally look like a pink blob thing. I don’t know why you’d think that it’d be appropriate to show up looking like that, but my family and my kingdom comes first, and I didn’t even know what you were… So yeah, why do you look like that? And why do you smell like watermelon?” He asked, utterly confused about why you showed up, especially looking like that.
“Oh… Yeah, erm, hold on… Uhm, how would Discord do it?” Using the horn, you create a zipper on top of the goopy watermelon juice and syrup and pull down on it with your hoof, peeling away everything as you toss the goop aside like a costume. Although, it turns into mush upon hitting the ground. “I ended up in a royal food fight thing… I dunno, the princesses just went nuts.”
“Ah man, and we just got the floor nice and shiny too.” Shining sighed, annoyed and saddened by the fact the floor of the audience hall was now going to be very difficult to get cleaned up properly.
“Yes, that was a rather rude thing to do… And what’s this about a royal food fight? Anon, couldn’t you have just…” Cadance signs to herself, and steps off her throne as she uses her magic to place Flurry Heart on her back. She approaches you, calms herself, and asks. “You know, with all that magic you’re using, you could have at least cleaned yourself up before you got here. Before we even get into this, do you mind getting rid of your mess?”
Well geez, you expected her to be more cheery. What was her problem? It was an accident, you had just escaped from a goddamn war zone. “Alright, alright, sheesh. I can do that.” You look at your mess and aim at it with your horn. In an instant, the pile of syrupy fruity goop is launched through a window as the floor it launched from shined with cleanliness once more. “There we go!”
Cadance just looks at the window the goop flew out from, she could already hear a hapless pony screaming in terror as he yelled about how he was being attacked by some sort of fruit flavored honey bee. “Yup… There we go.” She put a hoof to her forehead and shook her head, displeased by it all, but worried you might do something worse if she calls you on anything else. “So, I myself don’t want to sound rude, but what are you doing here unannounced, in a threatening manner, that nearly caused Flash there to… Ahrm.”
Flash Sentry, being one of the guards who pointed a spear at you, was shaking to and fro frantically as he raised a hoof to get Cadance’s attention. “Princess Cadance, can I rush to the little stallion’s room? I gotta go reallllly bad!” He asked, being given permission with an immediate nod, prompting him to zip away as fast as possible to wherever the bathroom was.
“Hey, like I said, I got stuck in a royal food fight. Celestia even used me as a projectile! So excuse me for using my horn to bolt as soon as possible. Besides, I thought I was welcome here whenever.” Like fuck, Cadance, why did she seem to be in such a nasty mood?
“And you are, but you just teleported in here looking like some sort of primordial beast, you even scared our daughter. Out of all the places you could have teleported, was it really that important to teleport directly into our castle?” Cadance asked you, expecting a good answer as she wondered why the princesses were fighting.
“And what do you mean by royal food fight anyway? Are you saying Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are in some sort of battle?” Shining added, he too wondering what was going on as he tried to make sense of it.
“Actually, yes, it was kind of important that I had to teleport in here as I have to speak to the both of you about something really major, something I already have the backing of the three other princesses. As for the food fight, well, you got me. They both got into a fight because they didn’t agree with each other’s evaluation and judgment skills or whatever. Heck, that all really started because Luna was harassing me in my dreams.” You explain, hopefully that being good enough to calm the rather perturbed alicorn.
“...Oh, I actually had heard of Princess Luna having some sort of problem in a letter from Princess Celestia, but I didn’t know it was because of you. Didn’t realize it’d cause a fight like that either, wow, it must have been really serious then. So, what was bothering her? It wasn’t anything really too bad, was it?” Cadance’s expression turned from annoyed to that of a soft hearted mother who was lecturing her child. “Because, Anon, I know you enough that whatever was in your dreams can be extraordinary and weird.”
Oh come on, geez, was she really gonna do this? “Look, she got upset because my dreams had two… Yeah, I’m just going to say it, it had two mares, or various mares, ‘pleasing’ each other. And don’t even look at me or judge me, ok?! My dreams, mine! I can be degenerate as I want to be and I don’t wanna hear anything from you because I also saved your butt from the Storm King, got it?!” You said as you hopped forward, pointing a hoof at her.
“...Two mares? Huh…” Cadance seemed to actually give it some thought, looking up as she tapped at her chin. “Why does that bother her? I admit, you’re probably right about your thoughts being degenerate, but it’s not like two mares loving each other and being a couple doesn’t exist. It’s rare, but it’s totally a thing.”
Wut?... “Excuse me? You mean, an actual thing in Equestria?”
“...Wait, are you really saying this all happened because Princess Luna didn’t know that, and you didn't either? I mean, I knew that. Wow, so the princesses just started fighting because of that. Ok, I can see why you wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, that’s just dumb.” Shining added, seemingly bewildered that the princesses would fight over something like that.
But you? You didn’t even fucking… What?! “Wait, so how do you both know about it if Luna and Celestia didn’t?”
“Well, for me, that’s easy, I’m the Princess of Love. And love has no barriers, Anon. I’m not surprised Princess Luna doesn’t know about it. I’m also sure Princess Celestia does but doesn’t think it’s worth mentioning. Anon, let me give you a quick lesson on love and how it-” OH GOD NO, YOU DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THIS FROM CADANCE.
“Nope! Nope! Don’t wanna hear it. I really, REALLY, do not want to even think about how SJW this can get.” No, please god no, don’t let it be true. Was it Lyra and Bonbon? Fuck, it was wasn’t it? God… no, yes, no! It’s hot, but… They don’t seem to be shoving it in everyone’s faces. Then again, if they were pushing it into others' faces, you’d have known by now. Even then, you didn’t need to hear the whole shtick from lovebutt.
“I certainly don’t know what 'SJW' means, but if you feel that strongly about it, despite the fact you seem to dream about it, then fine.” Cadance rolled her eyes as she heard those words, she really didn’t understand what ‘SJW’ meant and why you suddenly seemed so dodgy when you mentioned you loved the thought of it. She would press you on why that is, but she also remembered you mentioned that you came by because of something important. “So then, why are you here? What is it that the other princesses agreed on? Because I haven’t been told anything.”
“Well…” Here we go, final favor to win. “I came to ask you if you’d have my back when it comes to trying to reform Queen Chrysalis again. I already have the ok from the other princesses, you’re the only one left. If you need me to explain anything, I am totally willing.”
Shining and Cadance did not seemed pleased at all about this. Hell, they looked more against it than Twilight did.
Shining merely raised an eyebrow, not believing you at all as he said. “Dude, do you really expect me to believe Twily agreed to that?”
Oh boy, she did more than that. “Dude, she promised me she would. She gave me her blessing before Luna and Celestia did.” Fuck, you could already tell this might be a little difficult though.
Shining narrowed his eyes at you, believing you were somehow bluffing. “You know I can just go and ask her.”
You then narrow your eyes at him. “I can open a portal directly to her if you want.”
“Ok you two, that’s enough, you don’t need to be aggressive with each other.” Cadance said as soon as she noticed you and Shining getting a little hostile with each other. Even further, she noticed you getting rather arrogant about it, which tipped her off that you were somehow telling the truth. “But I think Anon is telling the truth. He knows I could just go and ask if I needed to. But then, how did you do it? Anon, let me tell you right now, Shining and I have given it a lot of thought already. Queen Chrysalis abandoned her children and chose to remain evil even when enough physical proof existed that such a thing is a bad idea for a changeling. I would think you’d have realized that she had chosen her path, which means you’d have to protect your friends, family, and fellow ponies from her.” Cadance stops for a moment after she says that, as if she was pondering on something.
“She’s right, Anon. She made her choice, and you gotta pony up and make yours. She’s all sorts of bad news, trust me, I know first hoof. Nopony who knows the truth has anything against you for trying, it still led to a lot of good, but now you’re just being naive. C’mon, Anon, don’t do this to yourself.” Shining pleaded with you, not wanting to see you take some sort of wrong or misguided path.
“But she isn’t right!” You stomp your hoof down. Goddammit, it was two against one, wasn’t it? Still, you wouldn’t back down now! You were so close! “And when has she been a danger to anypony? As in, after the whole changeling reform thing. She has no followers, no way to execute any plans, no base of operations, nothing! Even further, I spoke to her recently! She’s lonely, ok? I can tell that she is. She’s even worried about what other ponies she has met think of her now! You hear me?! She actually cares what my marefriend thinks of her! If that sounds close to the Queen Chrysalis who nearly took over Canterlot, you tell me right now and we can forget the whole thing!”
Shining looked pretty surprised, not only by your words, but the fact that you had met up with Chrysalis with seemingly no fanfare or mention that you had at all. “You met with her again? Is that what you said? Anon, are you serious? That doesn’t sound like her at all, and we all know the only reason she’d act like that is to get your horn, and you know it!”
Cadance seemed a little more mindful about your words, and even listening to her husband, she did notice that you did, in fact, have your horn. “But he still has it, Shining.” She then looks to you, looking at you with a sterner expression. “Anon, you already have the go ahead from the other princesses, right?”
You nod “Yeah. Like I said, I even got Twilight’s.”
“Ok.” Cadance sighs as she closes her eyes, and thinks on it a little more. “Hard to say 'no' when everypony else has already said yes. Hmmm…” She then looks to you, wanting more information from your meeting with Chrysalis. “Anon, can you explain your entire encounter with Chrysalis for us? I think it’s important for us to know everything before we make our decision.”
“I’ve already made my decision. Cadance, c’mon, you know she’s just trying to pull a fast one!” Shining pleaded to her, trying to get her to realize that being ok with this is probably not the best idea.
“Maybe, but Shining, you know it’s hard to dispute when even Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are ok with it. And you know Twilight, she probably thought of a million different scenarios on how this all can go sour, and yet she still agreed to it. This also isn’t the same Anon we knew when we first met him. And don’t you think he’s proven his worth by defeating the Storm King? He’s probably good enough to join our royal guard by now if he really wanted to, you have to admit that.”
“Actually, I also recently beat Sombra too.” You point out.
“See? He even beat Som-WHAT?!” Cadance nearly double takes, looking back at you with wide eyes, in total disbelief, and even nearly knocks Flurry off her back. “YOU DID WHAT NOW?!”
“No way! Sombra got trashed a while ago, there’s no way you could have faced him!” Shining too, was in disbelief of your words.
“Is it really so hard to believe that my adopted son, who is nearly as great as I am, defeated Sombra?” That voice… Discord? Holy fuck! Discord?! Hmmm… You didn’t know how to feel about this, but you weren’t going to just jump to the conclusion that him suddenly being here would jeopardize your argument. No, you had to try to put your faith in him immediately, simply because you know how capable he is of being an asset when he stays on point. “How could you even forget that I can just bring back Sombra whenever I want? I do possess that power, you know?” Suddenly, the entire audience hall began to change into some kind of trial chamber. The guards were placed in audience seats as Cadance, Shining, and even Flurry appeared on a set of judges’ seats, all of them given a judge gown and poofy powdered wigs. You were given a black suit with a red tie as you suddenly found yourself at a defendant’s desk, with Discord, garbed in a blue suit, red tie, and small reading glasses, appeared next to you, placing down a suitcase as he took a seat. “Your honors, I present to you exhibit A.” Discord opens his briefcase and shoves it forward, revealing blue bacon, a piece of Sombra’s horn, and some chunks of metal. “Sombra’s remains… And my breakfast.”
“Discord! Stop messing around! How could that even be Sombra? Aside from the horn, it doesn’t look like him at all! We’re trying to have a serious discussion here, so leave!” Shining said, getting further annoyed now that Discord had arrived, not willing to take any of his shit.
“Oh ye of small mind, it is Sombra, it’s just… Hmm… Well, as Anon would put it, he had a second form. Look, your honors, I admit to ACCIDENTLY reviving Sombra for the sake of an O&O campaign. But that isn’t the highlight here, no, the highlight is not only is my son more well learned than ever in the ways of Equestrian ponies and friendliness etiquette, to the point of having Twilight levels of reformation ability, but he is also powerful enough to defeat a fearsome being like Sombra without much effort. Yes, you could say it’s the power of the horn, but not many could handle that kind of power like he can. Knowing all this, can you really deny his request to reform the former queen of the changelings?”
Cadance loses focus for a moment when she notices her daughter playfully hugging onto a little toy gavel. She gives her a gentle pat, then looks over to Discord, putting on a strong stoic expression, maybe a little too strong. It seemed like she was actually getting into this. “A strong argument to be sure, but we still don’t know the details of the meeting between Queen Chrysalis and your client.” Cadance leans forward, looking a little smug as she spins her gavel in the air with her magic. “I’d really like to know what happened before I make a judgment.”
“Cadance, are you seriously considering any of this?” Shining was in disbelief to even hear his wife entertaining the thought of considering anything other than ‘no’.
“I mean, we’re the judges, and Anon isn’t making a request based on just his gut. Look, even Discord is here to defend his cause, he's not even causing any of his usual shenanigans. I think, just maybe, we should forget our grudges and just hear him out, ok?” Cadance looks back at her husband, hoping to get him to calm down so he’d hear you out. “I know what you’re thinking. I know what she did to you, to me, and almost to Equestria. I know we have a lot to protect, including our daughter. But if what we hear is sufficient enough to sway us, then we’ll have to put our biases and prejudices away and help him anyway we can, you understand that, right?”
Shining grumbled to himself for a second, then groaned as he leaned back. “Yeah… I know that. I’m just saying though, even if we support Anon, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t watch our backs.”
Cadance nods. “Very true, I won’t deny that, I know we should still be wary just in case, but we’ll handle that later. Anyway…” Cadance then turns to you “Anon, please, explain to us what happened to bring this all about."
“Wait!” Shining suddenly yells out.
“W-what? What’s wrong, Shining?” Cadance looks back at her husband, confused as to why he stopped things so suddenly.
“I mean…” Shining leans back, twiddling the gavel between his hooves as he suddenly put on a smug expression. “Aren’t we going to have him swear to us first? We are the residing royals and judges.”
“Oh… Ha! That’s right, we do need to do that.” Cadance chuckled “Discord, can you swear in your client?”
“Of course I can.” Discord says with a snap, as he teleports you onto the witness stand. He steps out from behind his desk, steps over to you, and holds a book titled ‘Crystal Empire Law.’ as he brings it near you. “Anon, do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you them?” Discord asks as he points over to Cadance and Shining Armor.
Well, this is fun. Looks like with Discord’s help, you were going to get through this no problem. You put your hoof on the book, and nod with a great big smile. “I swear.”
Oh yeah baby, with Discord's help, you were sure to make a clean sweep!
“...And that’s what happened. That’s why I feel she can be reformed.” You had just explained your entire story. From when Chrysalis barged into the room to the part where she zapped you and left. The whole truth, and nothing but.
“You see? Your honors, my client had a pleasant chat with Queen Chrysalis. He learned she had become insecure, that she had become ever so lonely, her sanity chipped away some due to losing her children and in the belief of losing her friendship. Would you, your honors, say that you’d leave one to suffer their own insane delusions and degradation of their sanity because of one simple attempt to take over everything? I believe Princess Twilight herself believes in the magic of friendship, and that’s truly the reason she is willing to let this happen. And you too, your honors, believe in such a thing, correct?” Discord said as he paced, adjusting his glasses. “Yes, it’d be safer to just lock her away in a dungeon. But as you have just heard, she’s suffered enough. He’s so close, he just needs your support to make this a success.” Discord then looks to Cadance and Shining as he takes off his glasses to clean them. “I rest my case, your honors. As you have heard, even Anon’s little marefriend sees her as a sister, keep that in your mind as you make your decision.”
Daaaamn, Discord has got it really going on today. With your story and his manipulative act, things should be going your way pretty soon.
“Discord, ‘your client’ just said she tried to end him the moment she found him! Maybe she just backed off when he managed to get the upper hoof, did you think of that?!” Shining challenged, believing Chrysalis to have been faking it as he had never heard of anypony suddenly shifting attitudes after a failed assassination attempt. They usually just fake it, run, or try to finish the job.
“Weren’t you listening? She zapped him without finishing him off, which would allow her to take his horn. She also did not decide to ruin his faux wedding afterwards either. Her assassination attempt was out of crazed desperation. Heck, if you want to hear about actual evil doing that happened that day, I actually tried to end Anon too, and for much pettier reasons. And yet here I am without so much as a slap on the wrist” Discord says as he puts his glasses back on as he goes to adjust the contents of his suitcase.
“What?! But why?! Why would you… Wait, are you just lying to try to justify your point?” Cadance asked, finding it unbelievable that Discord would try to end you. Even she understood the bond between you two was pretty solid.
You? God, you just slammed your head on the witness stand. So much for being helpful, holy christ. he was just making them more suspicious.
“Yes and no. I did technically try ending Anon through proxy. See, it’s mostly Starlight Glimmer’s fault, she felt altering one of my perfect if rushed clones with a request would prove more helpful to her. Little did she know such a foolish whim would cause said clone to be so devoted to her that he’d try to sap Anon’s essence to become his own everliving Draconequus. And that, your honors, would be truly dreadful.” Discord explained
“Because you’d have lost one of your best friends?” Cadance asked
“No, because then I’d have to deal with some second rate Draconequus trying to upstage me. Could you imagine, another spirit of chaos thinking he was better than I am, as well being in the eternal servitude of a Twilight knockoff? How much more bootleg can you get, am I right?” Discord says with a smirk as he shrugs towards Cadance and Shining.
“...Ok, so, how exactly is that supposed to convince us to give Chrysalis a chance? She went nuts and tried to end Anon, and instead of owning up to it, she zaps him and makes her escape. Ok, fine, she didn’t attempt to try to take his horn afterwards, but she still tried to do it when she showed up. If you ask me, Anon just managed to get the upper hoof on her, and by doing so she lost her chance at ending him because doing it in your house would have been… Well…” Shining looks over to Flurry, and gives her a smile “Well, let’s just say anypony who’d hurt my Flurry within our own home wouldn’t be standing there for very long.”
Discord looked over to Shining, ready to give his answer, but then he suddenly stopped and began to ponder. Indeed, to him, that did sound like something he couldn’t exactly argue against. He knows that he himself would lose it if anyone hurt you or Fluttershy. So to him, it made sense that Chrysalis wouldn’t try anything within his own home. That also meant that suddenly, he had to think of something else.
But you? No, there was much more than that! You slam your hooves on the stand and then point over to Shining, giving him a fierce look as you scream out “OBJECTION!”
“Guh?! Huh? Uh, you do know that your lawyer is supposed to be the one to say that, right?” Shining looks back down at you, confused as to why you’d just call that out.
Cadance giggles for a moment, then begins to whisper to him. “Shining, my love, you do know this isn’t an actual trial and you’re not an actual judge, right? Methinks you’re roleplaying a little too hard. It’s cute, but you kind of have to take yourself out of the moment.”
“Wha, huh? O-oh, right, right.” Shining, it seemed, had started to get into the whole ‘court’ thing, taking his role more seriously than he should, up until his wife reminded him that now he was being silly. “Ahrm, right… Still, what’s up with the objection, Anon? Unless you have another explanation as to what happened.”
“I do” You really did. They weren’t there, and they were never there when it came to you and Chrysalis. At this point, you knew her enough that at this moment, you could come to her defense and have Cadance’s and Shining’s favor. “Yeah, she tried to end me. And yeah, it was because she went nuts, we all get that. But let me tell you both something, I’m not taking it badly, and do you wanna know why? I’ll tell you why. Chrysalis is evil because that’s how she’s always been, how she’s always thought she had to be for not only her survival, but the survival of her children. You can’t just call her a coward either, she went head first into Canterlot with you placed in a crystal prison and Shining under her spell. It was super risky, but if she succeeded, she’d have a whole new kingdom to herself and many ponies for her kids to feed off of. Why do I mention this? It’s because that’s my best example as to what she does to make sure her hive survives. She had no idea that her species could become rainbow bug things that didn’t need to drain and feast on love to survive, it never even crossed her mind. And yet, before that even happened, I managed to befriend her, this evil bug. And through befriending her, I saw what was beyond her black heart, and what I saw was a bug who just wanted to live life her own way, and yet was ignorant in the ways of others. Even if she was still evil, through our friendship she managed to care about others who weren’t her children, she was able to drop her grudges and evil pretenses to not only help save an Equestria, but also save my life. And she saved it twice, you know? She even had the horn in her hooves before, and yet she gave it back to me anyway. I learned that deep down, Chrysalis was probably just like you and me, and was just wanting somepony that she could connect and bond with. Maybe, just maybe, with a little more time, I could have done something. But…” You let out a heavy sigh “Maybe I wasn’t ready for that either, as she did have a habit of manipulating me when she wanted something. But now I have my chance, and it’s because of the reason she tried to end me that let’s me see said chance. She lost her kids, ok? She actually cared about them. Are you both going to tell me you’d have been of sound mind if you lost your home, your kingdom, and Flurry Heart? I don’t know about you, but if that happened to me, whoever caused it would not be standing for very long. And yet, despite me being her target, she chose to let me live. It wasn’t just the horn, and I doubt she'd have cared about killing me at my dad's place or not. She was crazy at that point, and she was angry enough to want to end me no matter what. My cowardice and reluctance got her kids taken away from her, that’s enough, in anyponys’ eyes, I think, to want to end them. And yet, here I am, healthy and unscathed. I spoke with her, ok? She’s very lonely and very hurt, and she needs a friend more than ever before she loses her mind completely. So I’m asking you, the both of you, please… Let me do this, and have my back. I promise I can make this work” You look at them with pleading eyes. Please goddammit, just allow this to happen. Your face was twitching, as if you were about to break into tears. Goddamn, you put your all into that speech.
The air was suddenly tense as silence filled the room. Even Shining didn’t seem to have a rebuttal to that. Even as a minute passed, there was no response from anyone.
After yet another minute, Discord let out a gigantic groan as he slumped forward. “Ugh, now I’m bored. Look, we all know that you’re about to agree with Anon, probably with some sort of condition like keeping a progress report or something like that. Well, let me tell you both that if he has to give a progress report to anypony, then it should be Twilight.”
“I- Uh… Yeah, ok, fine…” Shining let out a gruff breath of defeat as he leaned back in his seat. “That’s pretty hard to argue. I could imagine, if Twily was in that situation, that’d she’d want to go against everypony to save somepony like Chrysalis. As for the report, given my sis has a school to run, I think Cadance and I should handle it. That is, if you also think this is all ok?” Shining asks Cadance, looking to her to see if she approves.
“I’m fine with it, that was a very heartfelt speech. It touched me right here.” Cadance says as she brings a hoof to her chest, right where her heart is. “I’m surprised though, Shining, I thought you’d still be against all this after that. What really changed your mind?”
“I dunno… I guess it just reminded me of something Twily would say, that’s all.” Shining said, his smiling warming up as he gave a shrug.
“Something Twil- SOMETHING TWILY WOULD SAY?! ARGH!” Discord stepped back, as if he was in pain, as he grabbed his head in frustration “Anon! What have you done!? You’re not supposed to be like her! ARGH! I CAN FEEL MY VERY SOUL BURNING!” Discord screamed out as he began to turn red.
“Hey! What’s your problem with my sister anyway?! Why do you always have to bug her?!” Shining demanded an answer, peeved by Discord’s reaction.
Discord, who had already began to scream in pain, suddenly stopped as he crossed his arms at Shining dismissively while still on fire. “Well, to be truthful, I really don’t have too much of a problem with her. It’s just that she reacts to every little thing in a rather hilarious fashion and I oh so love to press her buttons to cause such reactions. It’s the reason I’d like Anon to write her progress reports instead, I simply would find it more interesting to see her react over you two. You both are simply just too boring.”
“Hey! I’m not boring! Do you even have any idea how many issues of Power Ponies I own? Heh, more than you I bet!” Shining said, giving Discord a smug smile as he lets out a chuckle “Boring, did you hear that Cadance? Man, I’d even say I’m just as good at throwing parties as Pinkie Pie is.”
“Honey, nopony is as good at throwing a party like Pinkie Pie, not even you.” Cadance said, almost in a tone as harsh as her words. Shining, without a word, suddenly curled up a tad, giving a soft whine, and not daring to argue with Cadance so publicly in front of his own guards lest she suddenly says something worse. “As for you, Discord, you barely even come around enough to make that kind of decision. I’ll let you know that Shining and I can be very fun if we want to be.”
You raise a hoof to mention how that could be interpreted as a double entendre, but you put it back down in fear it might screw up the fact that you finally were a go for your plan. However, you could already tell Discord was walking into something he might not be able to win, so you speak up to at least get him to cool down. “Dad, hey, you just wanna go? I don’t think now is the time for this kind of thing, if you know what I mean.”
“Wait, Anon, I’m dealing with the laughable accusation that I somehow can’t pick out how unfun these two are.” Discord grabs a bucket from out of thin air, and pours chocolate all over himself, dousing his flames. He then licks it all up with a ridiculously long tongue, which upon doing so, he begins to lean on his arm as he gives Cadance and Shining a cocky grin. “Chaos Flambe ala Me, how delicious. If I had an audience, they’d be applauding at such a wonderful trick.” Discord says with a chuckle as he dons on a chef’s outfit, complete with large poofy hat.
Cadance looks over to the guards sitting in the gallery, noticing none of them were stomping their hooves or clapping. She could just mention that he did in fact have an audience, and that they didn’t cheer for him, but she had a more wholesome idea. “Well, if you say so. But I want you to watch this, Discord. As not only will this be entertaining, but it will also be quite cute!” Cadance leans back as she uses her magic to bring Flurry to her face, giving her a boop to her nose with her own as she says in a cute cuddly voice. “Flurry! Hi! Hi, Flurry! Can you say Momma?”
Flurry giggled adorably, and then with big adorable eyes, squeaked “Momma!”
“Mhmm! Very good!” Cadance said with a cheery grin, the guards in the gallery reacting with the usual ‘awwws’ one would give to such an adorable sight. Cadance then points over to Shining and asks. “And who is that? That’s Daddy, right?”
Discord noticed that while the guards had not reacted to his magical trick, that they were reacting to Cadance and Flurry. He just crossed his arms and mumbled to himself. “Biased chumps.”
“Daddy!” Flurry cheered as Shining waved to his daughter, flexing his legs to get Flurry to giggle and clap. Once again, the guards ‘aww’ and clap in unison.
“Oh, and look over there!” Cadance points over to you “It’s your friend, Anon! He’s a hero and saved mommy from a bad ole king. Come on! Can you say ‘Anon’?”
Aww, even though you had picked up that Cadance was just trying to get a rise out of Discord, you decide to play along anyway and give Flurry a wave. It’s been awhile, enough for you to get used to her existence. Or maybe you just felt softer about it because she was being cute. Either way, having accepted her, you found her boundless energy and adorableness quite endearing.
But when Flurry looked at you, her expression went from cheery and cute to upset. She began to hug onto Cadance, hiding her face from you. Seriously? C’mon, why did she hate you so much?
“I know what’s wrong. Probably afraid of having to look at Discord for too long.” Shining said with a chuckle as he used his magic to bring Flurry over to him. As if she had immediately forgotten what had upset her, Flurry cheered once again as Shining gently placed her on his head. “There we go. Don’t worry, Anon, Flurry was just a little afraid of your dad, it has nothing to do with you. Trust me, Flurry loves being around other kids. Ok, Flurry, say hi to Anon.”
You watch as Shining slowly brings Flurry close to you with his magic. Like before, Flurry starts to whine and fidget as she draws closer to you. Goddammit! What is it about you that made her uncomfortable?! That whole thing where you turned into a monster chameleon was so long ago! You were fucking cute for fuck’s sake, she should at least be curious and want to grab your face! No, instead her horn is just lighting up and… WAIT “WAIT! PULL HER BACK! PUL-” And in the next instant, you are grabbed by a magical aura, and then blasted upwards through an open window as everyone in the room but Discord gasped in shock.
Discord just chuckles and says “Nevermind, that actually was pretty entertaining.”
You flew through the air into the cold northern mountains. At this point, you had stopped screaming, more blown away that you once again let yourself get literally blown the fuck out by a goddamn baby. Yes, even as you passed by cold frigid mountain tops, you were more focused on the fact that you were sent soaring in the air because Cadance and Shining can’t teach their baby a little self control. Well, ok, maybe teaching a baby self control is tough, but come fucking on! This was ridiculous! What if she sends someone willing to start a war over into the stratosphere? That filly needs to leAFDSA.
Your thoughts are stopped short as you suddenly find yourself in a large catcher’s mitt at the peak of a mountain. “And they’re out of there! Discord leads another inning for the Chaos Boulderdashers! Just listen to that crowd!” You hear from a distance as a sudden cheer from all around you fills your ears. Yep, it was Discord. You shift yourself in his mitt and pop your head out, shifting your gaze upwards to see the draconequus looking at you, garbed in baseball gear. “Have a nice flight, Anon?”
Thank god he caught you, who knows where you would have ended up. “Heh, kind of. The view was nice, but sheesh” You look back down where you came from, your face becoming scrunchy as the thought bugs you more and more. “That baby needs a leash.”
“I don’t think so.” Discord says with a quick chuckle “She’s got quite the throw. I think she has a future in buckball.”
“Yeah, yeah… Whatever.” You say with a sigh as you just stare downwards. Discord’s glove was actually quite warm, as you found yourself not freezing despite the peak of the mountain being rather snowy. You continue to stare for a little while longer before you let out a soft chuckle. “I’m good to go through with Chrysalis. Heh, thanks for the help.”
“A pleasure, especially since we all know you couldn’t have done it without my help. And speaking of help, I couldn’t help but ask if you could lend me your help.” Discord said as he began to shift position, looking into the distance.
“That’s a lot of help.” Was he being serious? Well, if he was, you wouldn’t mind giving him a hand in return for his help. You had what you wanted, all four princesses had given you the ok. Really, considering this was to prevent eternal pony damnation for someone you cared about, you couldn’t be too upset or unwilling due to being thrown out. “So what do you need help with?”
Discord opens up and reaches into a dark void, pulling out a small sheet of paper. “I’m trying to bake a NORMAL cake to congratulate Fluttershy’s first day of teaching. Yes, I know, normality is quite the chaos killer when it comes to a handsome draconequus such as I, which is why they are going to be fitted with candles that will explode like mini fireworks upon being lit up. And don’t worry, Anon, I have made sure that the explosive sound of such a grand show will be mitigated to mostly Ponyville itself. A small price to pay to make sure Fluttershy and her little furry friends don’t have their ears blown out.”
You roll your eyes with a chuckle “A small price, oh yeah, I’m sure. But can’t you just go shopping yourself? Or is there something you’re confused about?”
“I actually am confused about something. This here, right here.” Discord brings the small sheet of paper down to where you could see it and points to an ingredient that hasn’t been lined out yet, so you can assume it's an ingredient he still needs. “This is what I’m missing.”
You extend yourself out of his glove, just a tad, to take a better look at the paper. Wait, that one item… Was he kidding? “Butter? You need help getting butter? You serious?”
“Quite serious, I just don’t know what kind of butter this could be referring to. There must be thousands of types and I just don’t know where to begin.” Discord said, giving the paper a light smack as he stares at it, puzzled.
“Why don’t you just get, like, regular butter?” Like, he had to be joking. “That’s probably what it’s referring to.”
“Is there such a thing? That sounds more boring than I anticipated. Is it truly that easy?” Discord asked “I can’t believe it can be that simple.”
“Well, it is. Look, hold out your paw.” You ask him, and as he does so, you put on your horn and summon up a regular stick of butter for him to use. “There, see? Even imagined it being taken from a random store so it’d cause some chaos. This is the butter for the cake, since you’re probably making a butter cake.”
“Butter cake… Hmmm. I suppose that makes sense, which was what I was going for. Thanks, Anon, you’ve been a big help! I’ll make sure to save you a slice once it’s baked.” Discord says as he tosses the butter into the void, then gently begins to pet you.
“Ahh, heh, no problem. Ah man, this is great. Now that I finished up with the princesses, I can enjoy the rest of the day with my unlimited power. Y’know, first thing I should do is check up on Cozy Glow, since she might be havi-u-uhhh? Discord, what are you SEAFDFSDAF” You had no chance to say anything further as you felt yourself get partially sucked into the glove. Discord then began to wind up for what seemed to be a pitch.
“Game is seven six, but the opposing team has three on base. Discord on the mound, two strikes, one more for an out.” You could hear an announcer scream out, while Discord seems to be spitting something out of his mouth. “Discord only needs to throw a winning pitch to win it for the Chaos Boulderdashers! Will he do it? Or will he shame all of… Hrn, according to the teleprompter, Discord never brings shame to anything. Well, who am I to argue when it comes to announcing this drab Earth sport?”
Wait… was he gonna? OH GOD NO! You try yelling out to him, but you just can’t get your words out. Goddammit, after all that praise, he still had to be… Oh god, you could feel movement… OH GOD NO! NO! NO! SHIT! “Discord! DISCORD! DON’T DO IT MAN! DON’T DOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” And he done do it, he did. He hurled you like a flaming fireball back towards Ponyville, and holy shit, everything was zooming past you as if you were a bullet. You were screaming, screaming for dear life! You were going to… Wait, you had your horn. You could simpl-EWTGEDFDE.
Your thoughts, and indeed, your movement come to a full stop in a dunking fashion as you collide with the water of the town square fountain. How you survived? Probably was intended. You raise your head, spit out the water, and take a deep breath. Mumbling angrily to yourself, you notice the purple pink pony statue looking back at you. You just groan and say “Whatcha looking at?” It does not reply.
Ugh, dammit Discord, why did he have to be like that? Why do you keep asking yourself that question?
You climb out of the fountain and shake yourself off like a dog. Then, when you take a look around, you notice a few ponies staring at you, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. “Sorry! Sorry, Everypony! Was just uhh… Practicing my meteor dives… For uh, quick hero missions. Uh… Yep!” You say, just to make sure no one would think… Would think… Would think what exactly? Man, screw this. You grab your horn and wave at the crowd “Anyway! Gotta go!”
Finally, using your magic and your memory of Cozy Glow, you manage to appear in... Huh, these walls looked like you were back in Twilight’s school. But there was a cozy little bed, a small bookcase, a toy box, a closet, and a work table. Everything looked as stylish as the rest of the school, like something straight out of Hogwarts...but with brighter colors. Hrn, you wondered if Cozy would be here or if she’d still be in a class. “Cozy Glow? Hey, sorry to literally pop in all of a sudden. But, ya know, just wanna make sure you’re alright.”
“Professor Anon?” You heard her, that soft gentle and angelic voice. You turn over back to the bed and could see Cozy glow slightly poking her head out curiously, staring right at you. “Oh golly, you sure weren’t kidding when you said you popped in, I didn’t even see you open the door. But umm…” Cozy flew upward then towards you to give you a gentle little hug. “It’s weally good to see you! How’d you know I was on a lunch break?”
Uhhhhhhhhh… “I’m just cool like that, hehe” You say, doing your best to look honest.
“Gee, I wish I could be cool like that. But mnnnn.” Cozy plops on her butt, and looks down with a frown. “I already ate all my food. I feel bad now, I would have saved some for you if I knew you were coming.”
D’aaaaaaaaaaawwww! She’s so adorable! You give her a more confident smile and pat her on the head. “Pft, no need to get sad over that. What’s important is that you eat all your food so you get big and strong, like me!”
And she just completely bought it, looking at you with deep admiration. “Oh my! You’re right, Professor! I oh so do want to become big and strong like you!” She says with sugar sweetness in her voice. “Is that why you’re here? To teach me to be big and strong?” She asked, looking at you with big shimmering eyes.
God, this adorable filly, you were gonna die of diabetes “Well, no, things like that are for when you’re erm… A little older. What I did come here for was to make sure you, my future star student, is having a good day today. Nopony is giving you any trouble, right?” You ask her, giving her a cute little boop on the nose, eliciting a giggle out of her.
“Oh, nope, nothing like that so far, Professor! Everypony here is so nice, and the professors are really good at teaching friendship. Um, it’s also only the first day, so we haven’t learned too much yet! Although…” She looks down, frowning again as she rubs her front hooves together nervously. “I am having a little trouble with the first day assignments from Professor Fluttershy. For some reason, some of the animals seem kind of scared around me. I wish I knew why…” She suddenly started to tear up. “Maybe I’m just unlikable…”
WHHHHHAAAAAT?! “Nahhhhh! No no! Don’t even think that!” You reach on over and pull her in for a gentle and warming hug. “Trust me, it’s nothing like that at all. In fact, let me tell you a secret. Despite me being Aunt Fluttershy’s cute and awesome nephew, some of her animals don’t really like me either. I don’t really know why, but sometimes that's the way things are, and you gotta accept that. You gotta remember that they’re animals, and sometimes they just don’t know any better.”
“W-wow, I never thought of it like that.” Cozy said as she wiped a tear from her eye, showing off a weak but increasingly strengthening smile. “Y-you’re amazing, Professor Hero Colt Anon! The besty westy!” She dives in for another hug, it just makes you smile warmly as you gently slide your hoof along her back. She was like the kid sister you never had.
“Ah, it wasn’t anything. Just some wise words a professor of a friendship school might actually say.” Man, you felt really big right now. Your ego was growing, but it was fine, she was innocent enough, she wouldn't catch on to your arrogance.
“I very very very much agree! And I think Little Anon agrees too! He’s so nice, he’s been watching over me since you gave him to me. Oh! Also, I need to show you, you need to see! Little Anon learned a new trick while you were away!” Cozy said in excitement, hovering towards her toybox as she began to sift through it.
Ah yeah, the doll you conjured up for her. Man, you almost felt pretty sad for her given you thought that’d be her only friend, but then you remember that she’s so young, so it’s probably just a little girl thing, little girls do love their dolls. Though, a new trick? What new trick could a doll possibly learn? You merely watched as she finally pulled out the little doll of you. And then something catches your eye immediately. Strings, puppet strings to be exact. She was now handling the doll like a puppet as she made it dance, giggling as she made the little 'you' do a bow before making a single spin.
“See? He learned to dance for me! And he’s a really good dancer too! Professor Anon, are you also a weally good dancer?” Cozy looked to you, a sweet smile on her face as she continued to manipulate the doll.
“Yeah, I’m uh… Pretty good. Why do you ask?” You ask her, hoping she wasn’t falling for you, hoping she didn’t want some sort of romantic little dance.
“Oh, no weason. I was just wondering if you could dance to any tune, that’s all. Oh!” She giggles as she looks at you. She could tell, it seems, that you felt a little uncomfortable about that question. “Professor, don’t worry. Like I said, I so so respect your relationship with your special somepony. The reason I asked was because erm…” She hesitated for a moment before shifting her eyes left and right and whispering “I can’t dance… And I just thought you could teach me. Although, if it makes you uncomfortable, I could always ask Professor Rarity and… OH NO! My lunch break is over and I’m gonna be late for her class! I gotta hurry!” Cozy says as she rushed back towards her toy box to put away the doll of you. She then ran up to you and did a little bow “Thank you so so so much for the help, Professor. I can’t wait until we meet each other again!”
Heh, you reach over for one more comforting hug before letting her go. “Same, and you take care, remember what I told you, and remember this: As long as you're nice, sweet, and caring, making friends will be a snap!”
“Golly gee, I sure do believe it! Bye bye now! See you soon!” Cozy said as she hovered upwards and zipped to her door, leaving to the hallway to rush towards Rarity’s class.
You just snickered to yourself, letting your arrogance flow through you. “Goddamn Twilight, how could you not make me a professor? I got this shit down!”
You just sat there for awhile, just looking around Cozy’s room, wondering what you should do next. Well, what you should probably do is consult someone you can trust about Chrysalis. You had to make sure your plan was perfect. Perfect, not only in your own way, but in a way a pony like Twilight would do it just to cause a heel turn shift. Chrysalis was a tough cookie to crack, and you needed just a little bit of a pony advantage on her to help you convince her. Essentially, you needed a season ender way to convince her to convert that was also in your style so it wouldn’t seem too pansy or pathetic. You had to make sure this works, so you needed to make sure you had all your bases covered.
So who would help you with this endeavor? Well, none other than Bon Bon and Lyra of course, the only two adult mares you could trust one hundred percent with something like this without getting some sort of lecture like Twilight or Starlight would give you. Plus, Bon Bon was smart, so that was a major plus. It’s not like you truly needed the help, you just felt you needed a little… Ugh, you just wanted some reassurance, that’s all. Yeah, that’s not too bad! You can do it! But what if she won’t help? Nah, Lyra will be happy to help! And with her wanting to help, so will Bon Bon.
Yes, once you figure something out, you’ll totally be able to help Chrysalis without an issue. Hell, you already felt confident since Cozy Glow was a nice warm up. Yeah, you got this, no problem.
So what about after the consultation? You planned to see Chrysalis tomorrow once you had everything finalized, but what about today? You had unlimited power, and you wanted to strut your stuff, but how? Wait… WAIT! What better way to strut your stuff than to battle Starswirl himself! Yesssss, what better way indeed. You had thought about it before, and you didn’t like him too much considering he seemed to only see you as some sort of test subject, so why not let him test you? Why not beat his test, beat his ass, and then gloat about it? You, Anon, defeating the legendary Starswirl the Bearded.
Man, it was a good idea. You didn’t know what he was up to these days, but you were sure that the guy still had to be on top of his game. Yeah! This was an awesome idea! In fact, you place your hoof on your ear and activate your codec to contact Discord, you wanted to know how he felt about you bringing glory to the ways of chaos by beating Starswirl in a fight. “Discord, yo, Discord.”
“Hmm? Ugh, Anon, did you have to call right now? I’m in the middle of making a sweet feast for all of us tonight. Decided to make it a family affair. So, unless this is important, I’d like to have some focus if you don’t mind.” Said Discord.
Ugh, him sounding annoyed really put a dagger through your good mood. Whatever, he was busy, just say what you need to say and move on. Although you did wish he was more excited to hear what you had to say. “Oh, uh, I was just calling to say that I decided I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna challenge Starswirl in a bit, trounce him, and make sure glory is brought to our name. Uh, how does that sound?”
But there was silence.
“Discord?” Did he hang up on you?
“Go on… Surely you have a little more than that. Tell me, just tell me, do you plan on utterly crushing him? Or just beating him?” Discord asked, his tone becoming a little malicious. "Seems a little random that'd you even challenge him. Unless you finally went mad with power."
"Nah, just want to put all this power to good use!" Oh baby, here we go! Now you got his interest. “Dude, I’m gonna obliterate his ass, non-fatally of course. Think about it, imagine how much you can hold this over Twilight that me, your adopted son, beat the greatest unicorn magician there ever was.”
“Hm? Oh no, I have no interest in rubbing it in Twilight’s face.” Discord said, in a bored fashion.
Wut? “Are you joking me? She’d have a meltdown for sure knowing I beat Starswirl.”
“Anon, she has a meltdown over everything. No, I say we hold it over Celestia and Luna. Now those two finding out you beat Starswirl would truly be hilarious. I think Celestia would be more in denial of it than Luna.” Discord said
“Oh man, you think they’d react that badly? Huh? Why Celestia? Luna seems more like the type to be in denial.” Like seriously, Luna can’t even admit she likes multiple stallions.
“Trust me, Celestia will have more of a reaction. She always had a better understanding of him than Luna has, so his defeat will cause her to lose a few of her marbles for a little bit.” Discord explained
“Huh, interesting, aaaannnddd something I’m looking forward to. Trust me, Discord, I’m gonna wipe the floor with him.” You said, chuckling darkly at the thought of defeating such a legend.
“Hmm, in that case, I’ll make sure to prepare a special something for you for tonight. And speaking of which, do be sure to show up at the cottage at sundown, Anon, with something cute to wear. You can make it, can’t you?” Discord asked
“Sure thing, no problem. I’ll do this thing I gotta do, beat Starswirl, then come to the cottage to wrap up the day.” You tell him.
“You make it sound so casual. Well, anyway, I need to finish my baking, so you have a pleasant and victorious day, Anon.” Discord said.
“I will, trust me, I will.” You tell him as you close the line. Oh yeah, with unlimited power, there was no way you could lose to Starswirl. There was simply no way.
And with that, you focus your horn towards Bon Bon’s house. Within a flash of light, you appear right in front of her door. “Alright, be casual, Anon. You know they love ya.” You take a deep breath and knock on the door. “Bon Bon, Hi! Are you in there? It’s me! Anon!” You call out.
You hear the door unlock and open with Bon Bon standing behind it, and she looked a little aggravated. Though, she puts on a smile when she sees it is you. “Anon, hey! What brings you here?”
“Oh, I just came to talk to you about something. Erm, is something up? You look a little tense.” Like, yeah, you had to wonder what was bothering her to make her look perturbed when she opened the door.
“I’m just aggravated with myself. Was supposed to go to Canterlot today to meet up with Lyra and her friends there. But somehow, SOMEHOW, I lost the ticket… Wait, you wouldn’t have a charge on that horn, would you?” Bon Bon asked as she glanced down at it.
Heh, well now, this can work. Your head was already plotting. Trade a consultation to a teleport to Canterlot, no problem. Looks like you wouldn’t need Lyra afterall. “Yeah, and I already know what you’re thinking, and I’d be glad to teleport you to Canterlot if… You help me with a problem first? Erm, it’s nothing too big, I just wanna talk about something, that’s all.”
Bon Bon took a sharp breath, closed her eyes, and opened her door wide for you as she stepped aside. “Ok, I already know what this one is about, step on through and we’ll talk about Chrysalis.”
Oh… Huh… She figured it out that quick, huh? “Uhm, how’d you know I wanted to talk about that?” You ask as you step through.
“Because I’m not dumb. I was waiting for this to happen eventually, considering we knew she showed up at the wedding. And before you ask, the body language of your friend Starlight was really telling.” Bon Bon said, looking stoic as she sat herself on her couch, laying on it like a cat and making enough space for you to sit. “So let me guess then, you’re finally gonna go out and reform her, right? Looking for some advice?”
Fucking shit, she was really on point. It was so unreal that it made you feel a little nervous as you climbed up on her couch and sat, looking at her directly yet reluctantly. “E-erm, yeah, that is it. Erm… To be specific, I just want to add a little pony into my plan, that’s all. I think maybe a little of the simple gentle stuff ponies are capable of might help me, erm… I just don’t know exactly how to go about it.”
Bon Bon just scoffed, finding your line of thinking ridiculous. “Losing your confidence already? Wow, Anon… C’mon, you KNOW that won’t work on her. She became your friend because of who you are, and I know you’re smart enough to know that I didn’t need to tell you that. But I can guess why you thought you needed my help with this though. You’re getting close to making your attempt, and you just don’t want to make a mistake, even doubting your usual methods. I mean really, you managed to reform a few bad ponies so far with your usual stuff, so there’s no reason to try a ‘pony’ method, as you call it. Look, me and Lyra are the best of friends because of how we connect with each other. I’d do anything to make Lyra’s day better just like she would do the same for me, and I feel you and Chrysalis have a similar friendship, a friendship that none of you want to see end. It’s only tough because of her wanting to stay evil and not being well liked by anypony, and you’re afraid of not only not being able to reform her, but also the possibility of nopony wanting her to be around anyway. Well, let me tell you something, Anon. A little after your wedding, we went trying to find Chrysalis ourselves so we could try befriending her, what do you think about that?”
...Woah… How long did Bon Bon have this speech prepared? And wait, WHAT?! “SERIOUSLY?! You guys actually went after her too?! Why?! Did you find her?!”
“Eh heh…” Bon Bon chuckled nervously “Actually, I was ready to try to stop her myself, but it was Lyra’s idea to try to talk to her and make friends with her. I was totally against it… But then she gave me those eyes and told me how much you’d appreciate it and offered dinner and… Well, I caved. We didn’t find her though, and given she didn’t seem to cause any trouble at the wedding, I’d say she’s not as much of a threat as anypony fears she might be. Certainly a relief for me, I deal more with monsters than masterminds. Anyway, I think you should do what you usually do and talk to her, while also coming up with a little extra to help convince her. Dunno what that extra is, but you’ll figure it out. Also, I suggest you let somepony know what you’re up to, just in case something goes awry. Just to let you know, I’m prepared to come get you if you screw up… So don’t screw up.”
“Well, I already got the princesses ok to do this. Like, all four of them.” You inform her.
“Really? Wow, ok then, you’re more prepared than I thought. Still, you should take some extra precaution just in case. They may call you the ’Hero Colt’, but you’re not invincible. Either way, I know you can do it.” Bon Bon says with a confident grin, making you feel more relieved with yourself.
“You really think I can do it? You’re not going to tell me it’s too dangerous to try this at all?” You ask, just to make sure.
“Look, I know if anything does go wrong, and I mean really wrong, Discord will turn her inside out. Lyra heard from Pinkie Pie that Discord is a lot more protective than he looks, so I think you’ll be alright.” She says with a nod, truly feeling everything should go ok.
Well, damn, this was quite the talk. MAN, YOU FELT ENEEERGGIIZZEED! This is gonna be no problem! Fuck, not only will that not be a problem, but Starswirl is gonna get his ass really beat now that you could focus on making sure he suffers a humiliating defeat! BWHAHAHAHA! “I think so too! Thanks, Bon Bon, I’m really glad I came to you!”
“It’s no problem, Anon, that’s what friends are for. Now, I really should get going so… If you don’t mind?” Bon Bon said as she hopped off the couch, ready to be teleported. “And don’t forget to lock the door on your way out.”
“Gotcha, let me just…” You put your horn on your head and aim at Bon Bon, making her instantly vanish in a flash of light. “Bam! And there we go! HAHA!” Oh baby, tomorrow is gonna be a REAL trip. Chrysalis is gonna reform and she might even agree to room with you again! It’ll be like having your sister ba-....Mnnnn. She really was like a big sister to you at times, wasn’t she? Hmmm, you had to make sure this would work out, so you really were gonna need that edge.
WAIT! Diamond Tiara! HAHA! Bring her along with you, of course! She wants to reform Chrysalis too, and her and Chrysalis seem to like each other enough. Brilliant, Anon, brilliant! And it’s not like Diamond will say no, she’s too into you to say that! All you gotta do is talk to her when you can and set up a ‘date’ for the morning. Man, Anon, you are on a hot streak today!
Speaking of hot streak, with that out of the way and you feeling ready to rock, it was time to find Starswirl and kick his legendary ass! Lesse, now how do you locate someone you really don’t know using the power of chaos? You put on your horn and walked outside, pondering to yourself as you locked Bon Bon’s door. And as you step out, you notice a flying pop up ad that asked if you were looking for the most legendary wizard in Equestria. “...Press yes for an instant trip to said wizard. Free trial, free flier miles, scenic skies, and fun times, a real blast. Oh hell no, I’m not that stupid. I get the pun. Fuck this, I’ll figure something else out.” You reach your hoof over to click no on the pop up, but the entire thing highlights as you press your hoof on it. Indeed, it was one of those old early 2000s ads where the pop up itself was the actual button… And you just pressed it. “Well, at least it’s not the worse thing that can happen to me today…” Was the last thing you said as you suddenly found yourself exploding upwards and onwards into the distance, actually bursting into flame as you fly outwards into the horizon. “I WAS WRONG! THIS BUUUURNNNSS LIKE FUCK!”
Your flight was long, hurled like a literal fireball across Equestria once more as you scream for dear life. You were in a spiral, unable to grasp your surroundings around you as you finally began to descend. In an instant, the clear blue skies around you becomes a deep dank dark blue as fish scatter away from you, your breath taken away as you find yourself in the depths of a lake. You didn’t even have a chance to take your breath as you start looking around frantically, trying to find out which way was up.
You were losing your consciousness as you desperately tried to find the surface of the water. Of course, you then remember all you had to do was put your horn on your head again and… Oh wait, never mind, you were suddenly covered in a white aura, an aura that started to pull you upwards while allowing you to breath. The fuck? You didn’t even get a chance to actually place your horn on your head yet, what was going on?
You start to arise from the surface of the water, coughing a little bit as you hang limp in the aura’s grasp. And then, that’s when you hear your rescuer’s voice. “Anon? Now that’s peculiar. What are you doing here? And in a lake? And why in the wide wide world of Equestria were you a fireball? It wouldn’t be due to your chaos magic, would it? You shouldn’t be casting spells you cannot handle, it’s quite dangerous.”
It was Starswirl himself, out in the middle of nowhere? In a clean open field alongside a road? And he seems concerned for you? Wut? You expected to land into some sort of lonely wizard’s tower or something. “W-what? Starswirl? Is that you?”
“It is.” Starswirl said as he gently placed you down on the ground, taking off his cape to wrap around you to keep you warm. “Now would you mind explaining your fiery entrance?”
“Ugh…” You sat down and let the warmth of his cape flow through you, that water was a little colder than you were used to, you probably flew up north as even the air felt a little more chilly than usual. “I came looking for you.”
“Looking for me? Hmmm…” Starswirl said as he pondered for a moment. “For somepony of your current power to be looking for me, I must assume some grave danger has befallen the ponies of Ponyville or Canterlot, am I correct?”
Wut? No, he wasn’t! The fuck?! Why was he so calm and not assholy? “No, you’re not.” You then looked to him with an angry expression as you pointed your hoof. This should reveal that coldness he has deep inside. “The reason I’m looking for you is because I want to fight you! I want to show the world that my powers are greater than yours!”
Starswirl was taken aback, surprised by your challenge. Then suddenly, he had a light hearted chuckle.” I see, I see. I guess you’re still angry about how I treated you upon our first meeting. In my defense, you are a very unusual anomaly. Chaos magic can only be handled by chaos beings. If anything else tries to handle the power of chaos itself without a way to resist its power, you become corrupted by it. And yet you are utterly immune to such an effect. Add to the fact that your attitude was less than pleasant, and there was a reason I thought of you as… Well, I don’t wish to use such a word anymore.”
Was… Was this real? You could remember back when Twilight had accidentally released the old six and the Pony of Shadows. Even before he met you, he was already stubborn and self centered. You intrigued him, but your foul attitude and darker musings made him think of you as an abomination. That was the word he didn’t want to use anymore. So what changed? Did he just stop being a douche when Stygian recovered? Did he truly feel so deeply responsible for it that he changed his ways without an extra push or secondary episode? “Yeah… Um… Huh. Ok, you’re kind of weirding me out. I remember you not liking me very much. Heck, the only thing we actually agreed on was how to deal with Stygian and we both ended up being wrong on that one.”
“Indeed, we had both misjudged the situation and made a terrible decision on how to proceed. Were it not for Princess Twilight’s incredible ability to see the hurt inside Stygian’s heart, well… I’m sure the guilt that would have overshadowed both of us would have been too great to handle. In fact, that is one of the reasons I have decided to go on this friendship pilgrimage. I wish to learn about that of what I had not embraced in my life of old. I want to be there for ponykind, not only to stop evil beasts, but to help them with their daily life, and even have fun with them. And I have to say, the new friends I have made along my journey so far are greater than any spell or research data I have ever come up with.” Starswirl then gave you a warm smile as he gently gave a pat to your head. “Anon, Princess Twilight has told me through her letters that you too are surrounded by such good friends. Although I am still learning myself, I feel I have sufficiently learned enough to say to you these words. Keep them close, Anon, and protect them as they would protect you. I even hope that we may become friends despite how we previously felt about each other. We don’t need to fight. In fact, why don’t you come along with me for the day? I’m sure having a little adventure together will help wash away any and all animosity we may very well have for each other.” Starswirl said, calm, cool, and wisely as he began to look to the horizon. “It won’t be boring, I can promise you that. Some of the ponies I have met have been quite exciting.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He’s a pussy now! GODDAMMIT! There is really no goddamn point in slaughtering a soft old man! FUCK! There is no glory at all. HOLY CRAP! Starswirl has been fucking ruined! And hell goddamn no, you were not going to do anything this fuck found fun. The guy sealed himself off for a hell of a long time, he wouldn’t know what true fun is if it bit him on the ass. The guy is too old fashioned and probably thinks sitting around and reading is fun. Yep, no thanks. “Yeaaahhh, I totally would. But uh, I got important Hero Colt stuff I gotta do.”
“Hm? I see. Well, despite that being an obvious lie, I’m not going to hold you back, I’d just suggest being more truthful. I think it’d be in your best interest given you are attempting to reform the Changeling Queen.” Starswirl tells you, unphased by your lie.
… Oh god. He knows about that? Well, he knew she was your friend before hand, but it seems someone filled him in on your current dealings. “What? Huh? How do you even know about that?”
“I’m still able to receive letters, you know. Princess Twilight had written to me a long while back that she was afraid that you may attempt to reform her without much of a plan, and asked me to be on standby should something go awry.” Starswirl said. “It seems by your surprise, that you’re already in the middle of your attempt. Would you at least care to tell me about it? Perhaps I can be of assistance.”
GODDAMN YOU, TWILIGHT! OF COURSE SHE’D GO BEHIND YOUR- Wait. “Y-you want to help me? What? I thought you hated Queen Chrysalis like everypony else.”
“As I said, I’m on this friendship pilgrimage to learn all I can about it. I have learned from my own mistakes of jumping to conclusions and making decisions that should not be made. I’m aware that Queen Chrysalis is of an evil sort, but I also know of your own accomplishments you have managed in friendship. What you wish to do is of a noble cause, and I’d like to offer my assistance in some way.” Starswirl said, sounding very sincere in his words.
Holy shit, he was really serious about this whole ‘friendship pilgrimage’ thing. But it still sounded like he was a newb at it, what could he offer you besides heavy firepower? Well, since he’s being nice, you could just ask him. “Erm, what kind of assistance would you be offering?”
“Well, as you know, I still would have to defend Equestria should things go awry. But, in the case of helping you, I have two pieces of advice that I think I am qualified to give you. Though it is up to you if you wish to listen, I would hope either way that it would help you in your endeavors.” Starswirl said.
Man, part of this was just kind of creepy with how nice he was being. That whole thing with Stygian must have really gotten to him. “What are they?”
“Well, one, never falter in your path, you have a strong connection to Queen Chrysalis because you are able to bond with her so well. Use that bond to show her the ways to friendship in only a way you and her can understand. And secondly, do not let Princess Celestia hold you back.” He tells you. Sounding serious in his tone.
“Well, I kinda knew the first one but… Wait… WAIT! What do you mean by that second one? That seems really… No wait, c’mon, everypony always says Celestia knows best. Are you actually Starswirl, or are you…” You go and reach your hoof to Starswirl’s beard and give it a tug, he doesn’t react with anything more than a gentle chuckle. “Ok, what’s so funny?”
“Your disbelief. I’m sure you know that I was both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia’s teacher, I taught them many a spell and incantation. So of course I also know how both of them are, and Princess Celestia has always had an issue of either thinking herself right or thinking she knows best. You would not believe how many arguments it had caused between her and her sister. Princess Celestia is a good ruler, but just like anypony else, including myself, she is but a pony and is subject to mistakes. She may have her own idea on how to help Queen Chrysalis at a point. But it is in my opinion that such an endeavor be left up to you and you alone. Of course, in such an endeavor, I’d implore you to be very cautious as well.” Starswirl explained.
Woooooooooooooooooooooooah, well there you go, concrete evidence that Princess Celestia wasn’t as godly as she may have thought she was. Man, Starswirl became pretty based thanks to this pilgrimage. “That’s actually really helpful. Um, thanks Starswirl. Really, that helps.”
“Ha! Then it seems I am getting the hang of things so far. Oh, and I can tell you’re surprised as well. Don’t be, Princess Celestia can be a hoof-full at times. I can remember a time she would eat cake during a lesson, with her explanation as to why was that sugar gave her the energy she needed to truly pay attention. Hmph, an excuse she only got away with only a few times until I showed her that her attention wasn’t enhanced as one might think. No, replacing her slice of cake with bog trog right when she was taking a bite made sure she’d never try that in front of me again.” Starswirl said with a cocky chuckle. “Princess Luna on the other hoof was a much better listener, though the few attempts she did make to get one over me was always met with failure.”
Wew, you knew the princesses could be pranksters, but it seemed they were never able to get one over on Starswirl. And ugh, bog trog? That shit must taste terrible. Note to self, when you challenge the princesses again at a prank off, use bog trog. As for Starswirl’s advice, it still felt a little weird he’d speak ill of Celestia, but it did make sense. He wasn’t telling you not to include her, just don’t let her trample over you. “Heh, sounds like you had your hooves full.”
“Between teaching the princesses and protecting Equestria, it was very straining on the horn. But that is one of the reasons I had a team, to ease the stress of doing it alone. In any case, I really must be going. So unless you’d like to tag along…” Starswirl said, it seemed he was expecting you to follow him, but you did have to decline. You had unlimited power, you had to find a way to use it.
“Ahm, sorry, I really do have something I gotta do. But I appreciate the advice and the talk, Starswirl, It was really enlightening.” You say, putting on a cheery smile, this was really not that bad.
“Well, I’m glad to be of assistance. And I wish you luck with whatever it is you must do.” Starswirl says, nodding to you.
And with that, you both said your goodbyes. You return his cape to him, and as he began to walk to his next destination, all you could do was smile about how well things went. Heh, he was a pretty cool guy. Ah, but the battle didn’t happen like you’d hope it would. Welp, time to call Discord and let him know the whole thing was called off. “Discord, hey, you there? You still baking?”
“Oh yes!” He answered immediately “Anon, my poor colt! Are you hurt? Ohhh noo… Anon, please return immediately so I may soothe your wounds.”
“Huh? Nah, dude, I didn’t get hurt, there wasn’t even… Wait, why did you think I got hurt?” You ask. The fuck? He seemed pretty confident that you were going to win before.
“E-erm, well… Wait, were you about to say there wasn’t a battle?” Discord asked.
“Uhhh, yeah?” The fuck was going on?
“I see… Give me a moment.” And with that, you suddenly could hear Discord calling out to some unknown parties. “Alright everypony, take back your bits, there was no fight, the bet is off. Hmmm? Yes, I said there was no fight. Well, it’s not my fault there is no payout. What are you complaining about, anyway? You were the only one who bet he was going to win! You were sure to lose that bet!”
‘Only one who bet he was going to win’... WAIT! DID HE SET UP A BET ON THE FIGHT?! AND THEN BET YOU’D LOSE?! WHAT THE FUCK!? HE GOT YOU EXTRA HYPED JUST TO HELP THE FIGHT ALONG! THAT ASSHOLE! “DISCORD! I CAN STILL HEAR YOU! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE BET IS OFF?!”
“Anon, you needn’t shout, I can hear you just fine. As for the bet, well, how could I not set up a bet with our griffon friends from the bar? They are always up for things like this. I would have set something up at the bar I’ve taken Spike and Big Mac too, but they’re only open at night.” Discord explained.
“YOU SET ME UP TO LOSE, YOU FUCK!” You yelled at him.
“Actually, you did that. Come on, you beat Starswirl? You couldn’t even beat that broken horned unicorn. What’s her name… Stormy? I think?” Discord pondered
“I HAVE UNLIMITED MAGIC! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LOSE?!” You growled at him.
“Because you are easy to trick, and it’d only take one powerful and magical blow to -GOOD HEAVENS! ANON, BEHIND YOU! A STICK OF DYNAMITE!” Discord suddenly yelled out.
You just narrowed your eyes at… nothing as you continued to speak into your codec. “Discord, I’m not stupid. I know how that trick works. Hell, I don’t even hear the fizz of a lit fuse.”
“Ohhhh, aha! I actually had forgotten about that part, thank you for reminding me.” Discord said with a chuckle, as you suddenly hear the fizz of a fuse behind you.
Oh hell no! You were not gonna fall for this one! You quickly slap on your horn and jump with a spin to spot the dynamite. You weren’t gonna teleport away, no, you were gonna send the bomb right back at him! But, upon your turn, all there was in front of you was just a lit fuse and nothing more. A-ha? So he was just joking? Ugh, thank god. “Discord… Sheesh, you almost had me there.”
“Anon, blowing you up with dynamite is so cartoony and immature, and I have grown both as an individual and as your friend to use such a childish trick.” Discord said, his tone quite fatherly.
“Heh, I guess. Thanks, I’m really glad that you… Oh, you fuck.” When you turned back around, there was a digital time bomb with only one second left in front of you.
“Such language. I’ll have you know that programming that thing was not easy and required advanced and very adult comprehensive sk-” Discord stops the moment he hears an explosion that cuts off the transmission. “Well, how rude.”
Once again, you find yourself spiraling through the air, across Equestria at breakneck speeds. However, this time, you were prepared. You slap your horn on your head and teleport yourself back to Ponyville. Your target this time, the Rich manor. You had to make sure Diamond was actually ready and prepared for tomorrow, as in you had to talk to her about what you planned to do and hope she’d come along no problem, not like you needed to hope.
However, there was something you didn’t account on, and that was your velocity still being kept upon your warp. You find yourself slamming onto the balcony and crashing through the doors that went directly into Diamond’s room. Your face was just sliding across the ground, your body was still smoking, and man did this hurt like hell.
Finally, you come to a dead stop when you crash into a pile of plushies. Ugh, your body, it ached like fuck and it felt like your face was ran over by a truck. Your head was otherwise fine though.
“Diamond! What was that?!” Shrieked the undeniable voice of Silver Spoon.
“Oh, that just looked like Anon.” Diamond said calmly, before she started to sigh in adoration. “In fact, I bet it was him. Ooooh, only he’d come through those doors in such an amazing way just to greet me.”
“I don’t know…” Silver Spoon said as she went to investigate the pile of plushies “It totally looked like he crashed.”
“He totally wouldn’t!” Diamond barked “He’s way too amazing to crash. And even if he did, it’d be with such amazing style that nopony would even think he crashed anyway.”
“I guess…” Silver Spoon poked at the plushies, then began to slowly move them away. “Anon is pretty awesome, but I still think that was a ASFSDJFSAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Silver Spoon lets out a horrific scream, falling instantly unconscious when she catches a glimpse of your face. It seems, after removing the plushie covering your upper body, that she had caught sight of something gruesome. Your face was terribly scarred and burned, with shrapnel sticking out of spots of your face.
“Silver Spoon?! What’s wro-ANON! ANON!?” Diamond nearly fell back, screeching in fright when she too caught a glimpse of your face.
“Uggghhhh. Ohhhhh.” You groaned as you crawled out of the plush pile. Amazingly, you didn’t feel much pain, as many of the nerves on your face were burned away from the explosive flight.
“You’re not Anon! You must be some kind of evil monster that looks like him! Grrrrr, YOU’LL PAY FOR TRYING TO LOOK LIKE MY ANON AND THEN MAKING HIM LOOK UGLY! EVEN MORE FOR SCARING MY BEST FRIEND!” Diamond went from scared to frightening as she dashed backwards, grabbed a heavy looking baton with rainbow ribbons coming from the back, and rushed up to you and slammed you in the face. While not really hurting you, it did make you realize what was going on.
“Guh, wuh? Diamond? Wait! Diamond! It’s m-OOF!” However, you did feel it when she slammed the baton on your knees, knocking you down.
“You can’t fool me! What did you do with the real Anon?! Tell me or else I’ll really bring the hurt!” Diamond threatened, ready to bash you again.
“Mnngh” You moaned. That really smarts, geez! “Diamond! It is me! Stop! Please!”
“Oh yeah? Hmm?” Diamond said, narrowing her eyes at you in suspicion. “Well, if you were really Anon, then try putting on that horn! If it doesn’t work, then it means it’s as fake as you. Go ahead, because then I’ll really make you pay for pretending to be my Anon”
What was she even… Oh god, when you put your hooves to your face, you could feel it was horribly scarred and unshapely. How were you not dead?! Ugh, whatever, not hard to fix. “Hold on, I’ll do you one better.” You slap your horn on your head, and immediately spawn gloved hands with hammers and chisels. Immediately they begin to chisel at your face like rocks until you were completely healed and back to looking like your adorable self. “See? It’s me. Ugh, sorry if I scared you though. Dad was being a jerk.” No seriously, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was planning on a family meeting tonight, you’d plan a way to obliterate his ass.
“Anon?! Oh no! No no no! Don’t be sorry! I should be sorry! I hit you for no reason! Hmph!” Diamond was clearly upset, but she still looked to the fallen Silver Spoon with a snooty look and said “Silver Spoon! Why did you scare me like that? You should have known that was the real Anon.”
But Silver just laid there, unconscious. She seems to be doing that a lot lately.
You just chuckle, and look to Diamond with a smirk. “I don’t think she can hear you.”
“...Maybe… Erm…” Diamond looked back at you, still feeling shameful for what she did. “I really am sorry though. But… Well… I’ve never seen you crash-er, swoop in like that. Did your dad blow you up or something?”
“He literally blew me up. But it’s fine, see?” You give her a great big smile. “I’m pretty invincible. A silly explosion isn’t gonna get me.”
“Wow… You’re just sooooo amazing!” Diamond rushed over to you and nuzzled her head under yours. “You’re the best, Anon. Everypony else wishes they had a coltfriend like you! But um… Why would your Dad blow you up?”
“Eh, it’s just how he is sometimes. Oh!” Actually, since Silver Spoon was knocked out, now was the perfect time to tell Diamond about your plan tomorrow. “Diamond, actually, it’s super good I actually landed in your room. I got something I gotta tell you.”
“Oh? What is it? Another romantic date? Oh, are we going to play another session of Ogres and Oubliettes?” Diamond asked, curious as to what it could be, while also excited for it to be something she could never imagine.
“No… It’s actually super important. Ok? I mean, this is like a mission for the both of us, a friendship mission. Which is why I gotta ask, how do you REALLY feel about Chrysalis? Everything you said about her before, that’s how you really feel, right?” You ask, making absolutely sure that she actually liked Chrysalis before inviting her into your plan.
“Anon, are you asking me to come with you to help her? Because I’m totally ok with that…” Diamond looks left, right, then at Silver Spoon. She then moves in closer and whispers in your ear. “Because if it is that, we can’t tell my parents. They’d freak out for sure.”
Well… That was easy. “Huh, and here I thought you’d be worried about it.”
“Why would I be worried? Not only will I be with you, but Chrysalis would never hurt me. She never did before, even when she had the chance. She needs our help, Anon! And you can bet I’m not gonna back down… Erm.” She shifts her eyes back at Silver, then back at you. “But we totally gotta make sure my parents don’t find out, Silver Spoon too. I’m serious, it could be bad for both of us. They still think Chrysalis is reeeeaaallllyyy bad.”
That shouldn’t be any trouble at all. “I understand. Though, we’re kind of doing this tomorrow morning. I want to make sure we have plenty of time to talk to her without anypony getting anxious and worried that we’re out a little later than we should be. Can you do that? Be ready in the morning, I mean.”
“That’s no problem. I can just eat breakfast, work on my mane some, and pack some snacks for the trip.” Diamond said before looking to you with a confident and determined look. “You’ll see, we’re gonna be a real couple and help our sister together! Then everypony will see she isn’t a bad changeling at all! Anypony who would help us become closer as a couple is totally not a bad guy.”
Man, she really did like Chrysalis after all. Last thing you had to check is if she was willing to make the trip into the Everfree to find Chrysalis. “And you’re ok with stepping into the Everfree forest with me to find her?”
Diamond looks directly into your eyes, and nods. “Yes, because I know you’ll protect me from anything that tries to hurt us. I have no reason to be scared when I’m with-” But before she could finish her sentence, the door to her room burst open as Filthy Rich rushed into the room, his eyes near red with fury.
“Alright! Who came in here lookin’ to hurt my little little darlin’?! I swear, if you hurt e-What now? Anon? Hrn?” Filthy immediately calmed down and composed himself, straightening his tie and adjusting his suit as he let out a small cough. “Pardon me, didn’t know you were let in, son.” He then let out a gentle chuckle of embarrassment as he took a step back “Now I feel like a right fool thinkin’ somethin’ was wrong and- Wait, what’s wrong with Silver Spoon there? She’s lookin’ whiter than a sheet.”
“Oh um!” Diamond suddenly became nervous, but quickly came up with an answer for her father. “We were playing and telling scary stories. Anon told a really scary one that scared Silver Spoon… But not me, because I’m way too brave to be scared by a silly story, right, Anon?”
“Oh, um, yeah! Ha! Sorry if I caused you any trouble, Mr. Rich.” You say, feeling rather sheepish about the whole thing.
“Oh, aha, no trouble, son, just got me worried with all that yellin’ an’ all, thought ah heard my darlin' shoutin'. I would like to ask ya to cut down on them stories though, got some important big time ponies from Canterlot lookin’ to invest into Barnyard Bargains and I don’t want them thinkin’ anything is wrong.” Mr. Rich informed you before letting out another chuckle, more nervous than before
Man, he seemed kind of nervous about whatever meeting he was talking about. Maybe you could help? “What’s wrong, Mr. Rich? Is everything ok?”
“Nothing too wrong, Anon. It’s just that these Canterlot types are easier to handle with the wife. But she ain’t here and I ain’t got nothing too fancy to really wow them. Seems having your hooves dipped in all kinds of businesses just ain’t enough for em’.” Filthy explained.
“What?! How can they not be impressed?! You’re the greatest daddy ever for one, for two, you’re the owner of Barnyard Bargains, the longest running shop in Equestria! You’re also the future father of Anon, the greatest hero and most handsome colt alive! So how?! Mnnnggrrr! I should give them a piece of my mind!” Diamond growled with a stomp, angered that things were going bad for her father.
“Woah now, little darlin’, ah don’t think givin’ them any of that kind of mind is gonna help us. But don’t worry, I’m sure I can think of somethin’ to get them on board.” Filthy said as he calmed his daughter, trying to think fast on what he was going to do about his meeting.
“Mnnngh… I guess.” Diamond pouted, calm, but still not really willing to accept things as they are.
“Hmmm… Well, Mr. Rich, what exactly are they looking for?” You ask, hoping his answer could give you something to work with.
“Honestly, son, ah don’t know. Even the cider from Sweet Apple Acres ain’t doing much in swaying them.” Filthy said, hanging his head low in defeat. “Ah dunno what I’m gonna do.”
Hmm… “I mean, I could spike the cider to help sway things. I mean, that works, right?”
“Anon! That’s an amazing pl-” Diamond cheered, until she noticed her father’s scowl. “-dumb plan! You can’t just spike drinks like that. It’s erm… Not ethical!”
“H-hey! I was joking!” You lied, laughing sheepishly “What I meant to say was, uh, I could… Erm, ah!” You got it! “What is one of the rarest and most immaculate gems there is? Does anypony know?”
“Anon, I hope you ain’t talkin’ about something like radiant gems. They’re hard to handle and...” But as Filthy Rich prattled on about what he thought was a time consuming and bad idea, you suddenly remembered the whole radiant gem debacle from a long time past. Gems that shine or darken based on the one who touches it first. Very rare and extremely hard to manage. Perrrfffeeecct.
“BAM!” You slap on your horn and summon up a small bag of radiant gems “Problem solved!”
“Problem what now? Anon, what did you just summon there?” Filthy asked.
“Five radiant gems, untouched, safe in a bag. I’m sure the fact that you have some, untouched and unused, will really wow them, ahrm, ‘Canterlot Types’.” Hopefully anyway.
“Well now, that’s a game changer if ah ever saw one! Haha! Anon, son, is there anything you can’t do?” Filthy laughed hard as he picked up the bag and gave it a poke.
“Windows?” An antique joke, but hopefully it’s hilarious to old fashioned ponies like him.
“HAHA! Windows! That’s the greatest joke ah heard in awhile! Though, probably a good thing if it’s true. Don’t wanna go drivin’ window washing ponies outta business.” Filthy Rich walked up to you and gave you a gentle pat on the head. “Thank you, son, really. Ahm sure this will really help things along. Now, I gotta go. But Anon, don’t think you’ll go unrewarded for this. I’ll find something to make up for this, ah swear it.”
“Oh, you don’t need to repay me, Mr. Rich.” Heh, now it’s time to be smooth. “The love of your daughter is all I need as payment.”
“Anon…” Diamond walks up next to you and begins to nuzzle along your neck. “You’re so romantic.”
“Truly a heart of gold. Welp, you three have fun then, and thanks again, Anon.” Filthy begins to turn around, then stops to look at the fallen Silver for a second and shakes his head before leaving the room.
Diamond falls on her back, sighing in relief “That was close!”
“Yeah, geez. Almost got caught right there” You commented.
“I know, right?! Geez, Silver, you gotta be less of a pussycat.” Diamond said to her friend, who was still out like a light. “Anyway, what are you up to right now, Anon? Because if you’re not up to anything.” Diamond blushes a little as she snuggles up to your side “We can practice kissing.”
GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Steam nearly comes out of your nose the moment she said that. “W-what?”
“You know, kissing like a couple. Mother and Daddy do it, and so do the Cakes, and every other couple. I think we should perfect our kissing so it’ll be even more magical when we really get married. That’s a good idea, isn’t it?” Diamond asked, looking at you with doting eyes.
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH! That’s too much! ANON! DON’T DO IT! YOU’LL DO BAD THINGS! UGH, BUT YOU SOOOO WANNA DO BAD THINGS! GODDAMMIT! YOU HAVE TO DECLINE! WHYYYYY! “U-um, actually no. Because if we, erm, perfect it now… Then you know, we’ll already know what the perfect kiss is before we’re married. W-we wouldn’t want that, right? R-right?”
“OH GOSH! SOOOO TRUE! UGH!” Diamond slapped her face with her hoof, feeling stupid for her suggestion. “I don’t even know why I’d even suggest that! Soooo dumb! Thank you, Anon, we almost screwed up a very important future moment.”
“Yeah! We almost did.” AGHHH! WHYYYYYY?! “Erm, Diamond, I really should go though. Dad wants me to be ready for this thing later and I don’t wanna be late. But, uh, see you tomorrow morning?” You had to get out of here, before your libido decides to overpower your rationality.
“Of course you will! We have to help Chrysalis!” Diamond said with a nod as she looked over to Silver Spoon. “Probably good you leave now anyway, I don’t want Silver Spoon freaking out just because you're in my room. Sheesh, she can be such a baby sometimes.”
“R-right… But uh, before I go” You do sneak in a quick kiss on the cheek before you go, which causes the usual reaction of her practically melting on the spot.
You then make your leave, teleporting straight back to your room. You still had half a day before you had to go, but what else could you really do? Today was just not too good a day to waggle your unlimited power around.
Hmmm, and tomorrow you had a big day. Chrysalis, don’t you worry, you’ll see how great it is to be good soon enough.
You now had to waste a few more hours, that’s all. But what were you going to do now? You sighed to yourself as your eyes trailed across your room, up until your gaze stopped upon the blinds of your window. “Hmmm…” You wonder to yourself, where did the X-Captain disappear to? You walk over to the blinds and open them up. Still, there was nothing beyond the window. You slowly place your hoof on the window, and think to yourself. You had unlimited power, and the X-Captain was reckless as fuck at this point. You should be able to safely search for him and see if he’s ok. Ugh, you wanted to see if he was ok, were you that weirded out that he wasn’t at the window for so long? Yeesh… Well, you could always slice him to little bits if he suddenly tries to attack you. Blowing him up may not work, but a giant cleaver to the eye sure would.
You take a deep breath and open the window. The first thing you do however is put on your horn and throw out a lifeless clone of yourself as bait, just in case he was waiting for this. Nope, it just floats off into the distance. Welp, with that, you climb through the window and enter the zero gravity ridiculousness that is the chaos realm. You start investigating close to the house, looking for any signs for the X-Captain. Some blast marks, pieces of floating carapace, and some droplets of salty water just floating about… But no X-Captain. But these had to be clues as to where he went. You summon up a dog nose onto yourself which WAS GOHTFDG OH GOD, BAD IDEA! EVERYTHING SMELLS FUCKING TERRIBLE!
You rip off the dog nose, which seems to get a life of its own and starts sniffing at the clues. Well, that’s convenient. The nose then starts to hop left and right, trying to get your attention. You just roll your eyes and say “...I’m not doing that bit.”
The nose suddenly let out a whimper and starts to flatten, it looked fucking miserable all of a sudden. Ugh… The things you do just to get things done. “What is it, boy?” You sigh, annoyed “Did you find the X-Captain? Did you? You did?! Come on, boy, show me where he is!” You said as you clapped your hooves together.
The nose jumped up and danced around a bit before flying off into the distance, towards a small planetoid with a single island on it… That was somehow not in flames despite the planetoid’s ocean being fucking lava. The nose itself was just dashing towards the island without fear, and hell, as you followed along, you noticed the area felt more cool than hot. Thus is the oddity of this chaotic realm.
The nose lands, with you after, on the small island. The island itself could be seen as a nice little getaway, despite the lava sea. It had a few palm trees with… Oranges. And er, salt for sand. Hmmm, and the grass was waving despite no wind. Well, at least the grass wasn't literal blades. “O-k, why are we here? I don’t see a flying mass of ball anywhere and… Huh?” The nose was stretching itself to form an arrow, pointing forward towards the beach before puffing up and disappearing into the air. “Want me to go to the beach, huh? Ugh… Better be ready to blast shit just in case.” You tap at your horn a little bit then begin your walk forward. It takes a little while, but you finally reach the beach. Hmm, the lava gave things an eerie glow, but it just felt like a cool day otherwise. “Hello? Anypony here?” You call out as you step forward, looking around for any signs of life.
“Mnnnmmmmm.” You hear a long sigh over you all of a sudden, prompting you to look up. And what you see… Was, what? It was a changeling, a normal changeling, hanging from the branch of a palm tree. He was just hanging there, looking depressed. No way… It couldn’t be, could it?
“Hey! You up there! Who are you?!” You yelled out to the depressed changeling.
The changeling just slowly looks down at you, then forward once again as he lets out a sigh. “Great, he’s here. My one chance to destroy him, and I don’t even feel like it. I don’t feel like anything… I’m so worthless.”
Oh… Ok? Well, given those words, that was fucking him. But what happened? He looked normal. “X-Captain, is that you?”
“That’s not even my name anymore. It’s Ex-Captain… Or is it Ex-X-Captain? I don’t know anymore, just let me waste away.” He groaned.
Ok, that was one hundred percent him. But god, what happened?! “Hey! What happened to you? How did you change back to normal?”
“What does it matter? I went from a beach ball back to my worthless normal form. Your marefriend was right, I was screaming for nothing. I’m no king, I’m a bug, a useless bug. I can’t even get past a stupid window.” He said in a whine.
He was really depressed. Wait, holy shit, did really Diamond do this to him?! Wooooah, you did not see that coming. Now what do you do? You hated the guy, but it was also fun to insult him. But now, he was back to his normal self and was looking pretty suicidal. Hell, he could attack you right now and he just didn’t seem to care. “Uhm… I mean, ok? So what? Are you done now? I mean…” He just looked down at you, with a broken frown and shattered soul. Oh god, he looked fucking pathetic. “Er…” No seriously, what do you do about this? Do you talk to him? Is this a reformation chance? Like fuck, he looked so depressed. “You wanna come down so we can talk at all?”
“...Ok, I guess.” He sighed and began to roll over, suddenly turning into a giant rock as he came down next to you. He then turned back, and sighed as he laid there. “... Missed, couldn’t even crush you when you were standing still. Just end it, please, I should have disappeared when the queen blew me up the first time.”
Geez, were you really starting to feel bad for him? “I mean, I dunno… Maybe? Look, really, what’s up with you? You look horrible.”
“I feel horrible. My dreams of conquest, destroying you and the queen, mutating my siblings to form a deadly army… All for nothing. I can’t even get through a window, or crush you, or win… At all. I can’t even end myself. I tried diving into the lava, but I just got spat out onto this beach. Fitting, even the lava hates me, and I don’t even think it’s sentient.” He says in a somber tone.
Oof, this guy basically gave up on life. Was he really, REALLY, so focused on domination that he- Never mind, why do you ask yourself such a stupid question? “I… Look man. I… Ok, I didn’t see this coming at all, and I mean…” God, you really had no idea what to say to him. “So, what, are you just seriously done?”
“With everything? Sure… I’m alone, nopony wants me, nopony wants me to lead their armies. I miss the queen. She took care of us, she never really let us down. We were just having a rough streak… Now she hates me, my siblings hate me, you hate me. Erm, well actually, I hate you still too.” The Ex-Captain sighs and nuzzles his face in the salt “But I just don’t feel like anything anymore.”
Fucking god, now you were depressed. Fucking changelings, goddammit! This really was the reason Chrysalis was the queen of all of them, because every single one of them were pretty much morons or tooty fruities without her. “Ok, look. I can’t leave you like this. I can bring you back to the house, get the orb set up for you. I dunno, if you promise not to try anything I could maybe help you get reformed and stuff so you can rejoin your siblings. How does that sound?”
The Ex-Captain looked up at you, a shimmer of hope slowly going into his eyes. “You’d really help me? Even after I wanted to destroy you?”
“Yeah… Yeah…” You sigh, god you were dumb. “It’s sorta the pony way and all that.”
“O-ok, I can do that, I think. I mean, you’re not trying to trick me or anything, right? You’re not just gonna destroy me first chance you get?” He asks, slowly standing up to join you.
“Nah, it’s cool. The basement is free and as long as you promise not to touch your old queen’s car, everything should be good.” Ok, so far so good, he really seems normal so far.
“Ok. I can handle that, I’m used to not touching any of my former queen’s things. And maybe this won’t be so bad, maybe Thorax will make me captain when I go back to the hive.” The Ex-Captain stated, hope slowly returning to him.
“Yeah, sure, why not?” Please, please don’t let this be a mistake. Huh, this was easy. Well, at least changelings were also easy to convince. Well, everyone of them except Chrysalis herself.
“Yes! I like that possibility. Then yes, absolutely, I shall rejoin you with no urge to have you destroyed. Ahh…” The Ex-Captain sighs in relief “I feel good now. Especially since that hideous lump of a moron is gone.”
“Yeah, he was…” You stop as your eyes go wide… OH NO! WHERE DID THE STORM KING GO?! “Woah, woah! Wait! WAIT! I just realized the Storm King isn’t on you! W-where is he?! Where did he go?!”
The Ex-Captain shrugged “I don’t know. I changed back to normal when I went back in the lava aASFSDDAS” Suddenly, a black and red lightning blast slams into the Ex-Captain, sending him backwards, skidding across the salt.
…Oh shit.
“Finally! Was waiting on my cue but you two were just taking forever. HYA!” Suddenly, lava bursts from the shore ahead as a winged demon flies out of it and lands a few feet in front of you. “Heya, Kid, good to see ya! Gonna be good to rip you to shreds too. But first, let me make my grand reintroduction.” Still covered in lava, the figure stands up high and bursts his wings out, causing the lava around him to fly away in globs. Oh god, it was the Storm King alright. He was still in demon form, but somewhat larger than before, his teeth sharpened like knives. His fur was now patched, with some of the X-Captain’s skin making up parts of his body. His demonic arm was now heftier as well, and covered in tiny tentacles. The gem from the staff, now just pieces of red glowing shards, crackled with a black red hue. “Say hello to the Storm Ravager! Third iteration of my glorious self, and even bigger and badder than ever before! Gotta tell ya, kid, I’m really looking in getting me some of that old fashioned revenge.” The Storm King, or rather, Ravager cackled as he brought his fist to his demonic palm.
“How?! How did you manage to separate from the X-Captain?!” And how the fuck did he get that body?!
The Storm Ravager just shrugs with a smirk on his face “Honestly? I don’t know about that either, but just like last time, it’s made me new and improved!” He says as he hops and flexes. “Oh yeah! I’m unstoppable this time!” He then turns to you and waggles his finger “That’s not to say I’m not unlovable. Totally am, even if I have to shove it down everyone's throats. But hey, let’s not waste time on the small details.” He then points to you and then down to the ground “Time to go down, Kid. I’m going to bury you right here, no funeral, no casket, but definitely an afterparty.”
There’s no way, no fucking way. Well, you had to accept it, because he found a way, and you had no help to fight him this time. But wait, why did you need help? The only reason you lost the first time was because Twilight wanted you to seal him up, a spell he somehow saw and stopped easily. This time, all you had to do was overpower him. Sure he looked bigger and badder, but there’s no way that arm is as powerful as the staff when it had the princesses magic in it. “You’re right, there will be. Should have just stayed where you were, Drizzle Lips, because I’m not going to show you any mercy this time. You’re going down!”
“Am I? HAHAHA!” The Storm Ravager cackled as he slapped his knee “Oh no! He actually believes what he’s spouting! That’s too much!” The Storm Ravager stands proud as he puts his hands to his hips, resting his head on his right shoulder “It’s too adorable! But newsflash, Kid, you’re a sham! You’re no ‘Hero Colt’, You’re not even a great one!”
“What are you talking about?” You ask him, confused as to what he meant.
“What do you mean?! Sheesh, Kid, sheesh! You didn’t beat me! You never did! This kid, you just can’t make this stuff up!” The Storm Ravager starts laughing, using his hand to keep steady before looking back at you with a smirk. “Time for a refresher course, so listen up! The first time we fought, I literally dropped the roof on you, then tossed you around like a rag doll. Then I used you as actual bait to lure in those brainless ponies. And then, credit where credit is due, you hurt my palm… And that’s it! I was about to crush you like a melon before Tempest just showed up out of nowhere. Oh, and don’t worry about her, I plan to make her a permanent addition to my future garden. Trust me, it’ll look great!”
This fucking DOUCHEBAG. Fine, so you didn’t beat him, that wasn’t what was important right now. What was important was that you stop him here and now, you just had to! “God, just shut the fuck up already. Fine, I get it, I didn’t actually beat you. You could have said it in two sentences.”
“C’mon, I gotta sell it, y’know? Being a terrifying dictator requires this kind of charisma that you’ll just never understand. And besid- Hm? Ahhhh” The Storm Ravager bares his teeth in an evil smirk as he scratches his cheek with his hand. “Oh boy, you ACTUALLY think you stand a chance! That is more than adorable! Kid, I’m invincible now! You should just roll over and let me end it quick for you. But fine, I’m game.” He says with a shrug. “That horn of yours fully charged?”
You narrow your eyes at him as you slap the horn on your head. “You bet.”
“Ok then, let’s make a deal that you really can’t refuse. I’ll give you your two shots to beat me, since that’s all you got. If you beat me? Well, I’ll certainly be surprised. If you don’t? Well, how are you supposed to defend yourself from this baby?” The Storm Ravager holds up his mutated claw, and let’s it sparkle in horrible electric energy.
Two? You had more than… OHHH SHIT! HE DIDN’T FUCKING REALIZE YOU HAD MORE THAN TWO CHARGES?! HAHA! HE REALLY DIDN’T! Ok, well, the odds just shot up through the roof for you. But why should you resort to that? You could end him in one blow with this powerful attack. “As if I’d refuse a deal like that. You’re on, just don’t go crying when I turn you to sludge.”
“Oh, I’m counting on it.” The Storm Ravager beckons you with a claw, awaiting your attack. “Show me what you got.”
“Alright then, your funeral.” Ok, first shot had to be a game changer. Wait, so why not start with a game ender? You hop backwards as your mane changes into a blue color, spiking upwards as your eyes become a darker blue themselves. “YOU FOOL! THIS IS YOUR END!” You begin to crackle in powerful electrical force as a spirit version of you appears out of nowhere and slams into you, causing your voice to double as your determined look became more fierce. “FINALLLLL” Your horn started to charge up some blue energy ball as a powerful blue aura appeared around you. “KAM-E” You start floating in mid air as your attack intensifies “HA-!”
The Storm Ravager just yawns, getting bored of waiting for your attack. “While we’re young? C’mon, I got a world to terrorize here.”
Oh, he wasn’t gonna be anything after this. “-MEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA!” With almighty Saiyan power, you release a gigantic blue beam, encircled by a yellow spiral of death, towards the Storm Ravager. It was so large in size and dense in power that he actually gasped and jumped back, but was unable to dodge it. Did you manage it?!
You kept the beam going as long as you are able, but it seemed power of this magnitude was actually taking a toll on your body. But you did it, right?
But then your eyes go wide as you look ahead. The beam was mushrooming at the end, as if there was something in the way of it, breaking its flow. There was no way, WAS HE BLOCKING IT?! Your beam finally ends after another moment, the recoil of the end of the blast knocking you backwards as your second self goes out of your body and into the air, out of sight. You quickly roll over and stand as you yourself change back to normal, and try to look through the kicked up dust cloud your beam had caused.
“Wow! That was awesome! My arm is stinging, Kid! It actually hurts!” The Storm Ravager calls out jovially as he makes a mighty gust with a flap of his wings, blowing the dust away. He was ok?! Shit, the only damage you seemed to do to him was to his mutant arm. It was slightly burnt, parts of his claws looked barely chipped away, and only two tendrils seemed to stop moving. He blocked that entire blast with that hand and it barely did fucking anything! “...But even the audience knew that wasn’t gonna do anything. Ha! Good try though, that would have done it if you had used that against me the first time. Buuuuuut you can’t expect anything out of idiots, can you?” The Storm Ravager has a bit of a laugh about it before beckoning at you again. “Ok, short stuff, time for another round.”
You had more than another in you, but you had to make this work before he actually started to fight. What else could you use against him? OH RIGHT! SPINNING BUZZSAWS OF DOOM! If you couldn’t blast the fucker, then you’d slice him up. It’s not like he could dodge EVERY buzzsaw you planned to throw at him. “Fine then, TAKE THIS!” You launch a flurry of buzzsaws at him, all spiraling and screwballing towards him.
The Storm Ravager was using his chaotic eye to eye the paths of each buzzsaw. Once he had every trajectory, he used his newfound speed to dash towards each point they would be coming from and caught them all in his mutant arm before crushing them to nothingness. “Kid, your strats are as dull as those blades. And hey hey, they’re as dull as your horn too, right? That’s all she wrote. But hey, don’t worry, I’ll make sure they’ll make an action figure out of you. As in they’ll actually use pieces of you to make the thing.” The Storm Ravager positions himself for a dash, eyeing you directly. “But time’s a wastin’ and I really want to see the looks on all those ponies faces when I step up to rule em all… Or whatever is left after I do some remodeling. HAHA! HERE I COME!” And he finally blasts off towards you.
Shit! He was fast, but you didn’t need to dodge or get out of the way. You wait a half moment, then quickly summon a giant hammer to smash him straight into the ground in front of you. And fuck, it worked! When you lifted the hammer, he was half buried in the ground and looking rather dazed and surprised. “HA! Looks like I smashed your plan to bits!”
“Wha? Ugh, huh? WHAT?!” The Storm Ravager looked up at you, surprised and stupefied at the predicament he found himself in. “You still have magic?!”
“Fuck yes! How does it feel to be bamboozled? Hmmmmm?” You said smugly, looking at him with a wicked smile. “You never really stood a chance. Dad gave me a whole three days of unlimited magic. Lucky you, eh?”
“Grrrr” The Storm Ravager growled as he tried to loosen his arms. “I’m not losing to you, Kid! You think you got me fooled?! I’m gonna smash you to bits, I SWEAR!”
“Huh, you don’t really talk the talk when you’re losing, do ya?” You shrug, and prepare the hammer once again. “Oh well, get ready for a real pounding, HAHAHA! Get it? Because I’m gonna keep smashing you until you stop moving. HERE WE GO!” You immediately start smashing the hammer into him, over and over and over and over again in quick succession. You were smirking almost evilly as it went on, up until you finally felt he was smashed to a pulp. You then banish the hammer and look upon the spot it was smashing. Nothing was there, huh, did you crush him into the dirt? “Oops, over did it.”
“Not exactly.” You hear a voice. You look around, but see nothing, at least not around you. From under you, you are grabbed by the Storm Ravager’s mutant hand as he launches up from beneath the ground. “HA! Gotcha!” The Storm Ravager calls out as he lands back onto the ground and starts squeezing you with his hand as if you were some sort of chew toy. “Kid! You got RUSED! What, did you think you were the only one who could pull a fast one? Come on, just, come on! I’ve dealt with rats more crafty than you.” He then starts to look you over, laughing at you. “Time for a real SHOCKER, as in, I’m about to light up your life until it blows a fuse. See what I did there? You saw that… Right? Wait…” The Storm Ravager narrows his eyes at you, noticing you were glowing a chaotic power of your own. As in, your entire body was made of magic, almost as if it was… “Wait… You’re not…”
Indeed, the ‘you’ he had in his grasp was the clone you used to perform the fusion needed for Final Kamehameha. The Storm King look dumbfounded, looking at his palm in frustration as he realized he somehow got duped. He crushes the clone, and then starts to look around for you. “Now that’s just dumb! Seriously, that just makes the game more tedious. Now, where did you go? Kid, OOHHH KIIIIDDD, WHHHERE ARE YOOOOUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As The Storm Ravager began calling out for you, he turned around only to see a train coming right towards and into him, a massive mighty train bearing your face. He was slammed into rather hard as he held on to the front, screaming along as the train chugged forward.
“CHOO CHOO, MOTHERFUCKER, CHOO FUCKING CHOO!” You laugh as you pull on the rope that sounded the train whistle. You were dressed as a cute little conductor, driving your huge fucking train. You looked out the window and towards the front of the train and saw the Storm Ravager doing his best to climb up onto the smoke stack. “Heyyyyyyy buddy! Enjoying the ride?”
The Storm Ravager couldn’t even get his wings to properly open at this speed, he just clinged for dear life as he began to aim his arm towards you. “I’m gonna obliterate you, Kid! It’s the end of the line for you!”
“Couldn’t agree more!” You wave goodbye to him and jump off the train.
“Wha?... Oh no, he used a pun, didn’t he?” The Storm Ravager looks back slowly and sees a gigantic brick wall set not too far ahead. “Oh… Yeah, he did.” The Storm Ravager braces himself as the Train smashes into the wall and explodes.
“Woooo, and that ends that. A rattataa ratattaaaaa woo woo, yeah!” You start to sing to yourself and hop about victoriously as the explosion carries on. However, caught up in your silly little dance, you fail to notice the Storm Ravager falling down above you.
Indeed, he locked eyes on you as he began to fall from a perilous height. His body was charred, his wings broken, and his rage heightened as he held his arm out to grab you upon impact. “GYAAAAH!” He screams out as he finally makes contact, smashing you to the ground as he manages to land without issue. “HOW DARE YOU! I’M NOT MESSING AROUND ANYMORE! THAT’S IT! I’M GONNA BREAK YOU!” He growls as he lifts you up in the air, and begins to shock you with his power.
Fuck, this hurts! You were screaming in pain as he sent electrical shocks into you, doing his best to end you as quickly as possible. That is… Until an idea popped into his head.
“No… Nah, after what you did to me, after what you and Tempest took away?” The Storm Ravager stops his electrical torture and just grips onto you as he begins to slowly and evilly snicker, enjoying your now limp body as a sign of victory. “Yeah, no, ending you now wouldn’t be good for me, now would it? Oh no no no no, you made me the butt of all jokes after all, I can’t just let this end without a good punchline. Do you know what I mean, Kid?” The Storm Ravager held you up higher, waiting for you to answer.
“N-ngh…” Instead, you try to activate your magic. But the moment he even sensed you powering up, he gripped you hard enough to nearly crush your bones.
“Nah, nope, I don’t think so. You’re done now, Anon… That’s right, I think you deserve to hear your own name once before it all ends, and even that won’t be for awhile. See, I got a plan now. I’m gonna turn Tempest, and your marefriend, and your other little friends, Your dad, and that sweet little yellow pony aunt of yours into stone. And then? I’m gonna shatter em’, one by one. I’m gonna make you watch, Anon, and then it’ll be your turn. What do you think about that? Hm?”
Did he mean it? Ngh, you felt so broken, you could barely move. Your thoughts began to swim in hopelessness. How could you make such a mistake?
Your mind suddenly rushed to visions of losing your friends, your marefriend… Fluttershy...
If you lost… He’d just kill them?
He’d kill them in front of you?
Your mind then began to race with the horrible feeling of failure. The disgusting feeling of loss. The fear of disappointing those you loved. The hopelessness of the situation. The rage caused by his threat. The need to protect your friends and family. The hatred you had for those who’d do you harm.
The chaos deep inside.
“YOU FUCCCCKKKEERRRR!” You suddenly burst with a heavy wave of magical energy that causes the Storm Ravager to lose his grip and fly back. Trees began to soar and the lava began to generate waves outward. You could feel it, that pure animosity you had for such a threat, for such a being. You could feel the unlimited chaotic power of the horn flowing through you, synchronizing with your feelings.
And those feelings were of full rage
The Storm Ravager fell on his stomach with a grunt. He wasn’t expecting that at all, and when he shook his head and looked up, he could see you right in front of him, staring at you with pure resentment. But there was also something else, he could see it, a powerful aura around you, an uncontrolled flow of magic. “K-Kid?! W-what are you doing?! WHAT ARE YOU?!” That aura, it filled him with instant and utter dread, as he knew right then and there it was a power he had never seen before.
“I’m the son of chaos, motherfucker. And you chose the wrong day, oh boy, you really did.” You told him, looking down at him like the worm he was.
The Storm Ravager began to stand up, quickly aiming his arm at you to blast you once more. “I’m not going to...WHA?!” The Storm Ravager doesn’t even get a chance to blast you as the ground around you begins to rise up to the sky, with you looking down at the Storm Ravager with an evil sneer as you go ever higher. “What is he up to now?!”
When you finally reach the sky of the planetoid, you snicker to yourself as you turn around. Your gaze comes upon a pipe organ manifesting itself in front of you. You sit down on the seat in front of it as a black cape appears around you. “And thus we are at the eve of the end of this little game…” You close your eyes, and with just your hooves, you somehow start to play the song ‘Fugue and Toccata’.
“What is he doin-WOAH! WHA! HEY!” As the demonic music began to fill the air, the planetoid began to shake as giant pipes of an organ began to erupt from the ground, nearly stabbing or smashing through the Storm Ravager as he began to dodge around it. “WHAT IS THIS?!”
You just continue to focus on your playing, laughing maniacally as a gigantic portal opens behind you. Your mane began to flow back as the clouds began to slowly circle around you and your organ. “...Everything will be done, and undone.” You say silently to yourself. And the moment you do, pianos, airplanes, trains, cars, buildings, phone booths, hockey sticks, street signs, fake puke, newspapers, televisions, cruise ships… EVERYTHING just began to shoot out of the portal and just hurl itself randomly forward.
“This kid! WHAT IN THE! GAH! WHAT IS GOING ON?! AGH!” The Storm Ravager was trying to fly, he was jumping, dodging, and barely grazing through the barrage of objects being hurled at him. And as you continued to play, the cavalcade of ridiculousness just continued to be hurtled forward. Eventually, even the Storm Ravager could barely keep up and finally started taking hits before being buried under some building debris.
But as you came to the softer part of the music, you looked behind yourself to see if the deed was done. But somehow, the Storm Ravager was slowly and weakly digging himself out. And when he did, he looked upon you once more, and recoiled at what he saw. You were looking down at him with yellowed eyes and flaring red pupils, teeth as sharp as daggers. Seeing he was alright, you refocused your efforts on your playing as the music began to pick up again. “But not everything was thrown at the demon. No, everything was thrown but one minor object… The most important object.” And upon finishing those words, a giant moon sized portal opened upwards, facing down towards the planetoid.
The Storm Ravager was stepping back in fear now, he didn’t know what was going on now, but with the size of the portal and with his wings out of commission, even he knew he couldn’t dodge what was coming. Especially as everything was blackened by an ever encompassing shadow. “Mommy… I’m serious… Help.”
“HAHAHAHAHAHA! HERE IT COMES!” You scream in mad laughter as you continue your playing, the portal turning red as a moon sized kitchen sink began to fall through the portal. It was coming in fast, bursting into flame like a meteor, as it neared the surface of the planetoid. Indeed, you had hit the Storm Ravager with everything… But the kitchen sink.
With only seconds left, the Storm Ravager began to look for something to defend himself with. He then happens upon something, and gives out a weak and pathetic little laugh. “Ha… This will do it, this will totally do it.” He pulls out an umbrella, opens it up, and ducks his head under it as he quivers in fear.
Finally, with the end of the song, the sink makes contact with the planetoid, obliterating it completely as it continues to travel through the endless chaotic realm like an asteroid. Even more, the Storm Ravager was nowhere in sight.
The sink had passed through you and your organ, magically of course. And upon your victory, you stand up silently and look back as you bow to the nonexistent audience before you. You let out an evil little chuckle as you then look forward, your eyes still flaring yellow and red. “And thus ends everything, truly he was no...Ngh!”
Suddenly, your stomach growls, causing you to lose your focus as you return to normal instantly. “Shit! I’m hungry, I’m gonna miss dinner!”
You began to doggie paddle back to the house. In your thoughts, you had began to wonder what had happened to you during the fight. Those feelings, that wanting to win at any cost, that absolute focus, and that exhilarating feeling. You had only felt this once, and that was when you were fighting Garble. You could swear there was even some physical changes to you when you felt such a feeling, but you couldn’t be sure. Essentially, whatever you felt, it gave you an incredible focus to want to not just beat your opponent, but utterly destroy the opposition in the most grandiose way you can think of at the time.
But then, it all went away after it was all over with. The Storm Ravager, he was gone now, you actually fucking ended him with a kitchen sink the size of the fucking moon. Did it kill him? Did it ma-OH SHIT! The X-Captain! D-did you kill him too? You know the Storm Ravager knocked his ass out, but where did he go? And why did you care so much? Bah, the guy wanted you dead for so long, him having a change of heart now shouldn’t affect you. But it did, it really kinda did, the poor moron was outside your window for so long that it just sort of became his life. Now he had a chance to fix all of it, and now he’s dead.
You sigh as you near your window. “Anon, geez, come on man. What was all that? It’s not like I lost control of myself, it just… Felt so good dropping a sink on the guy, felt so right. I needed to win! I’d be dead if I lost! Ugh, I shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t have been there even, it was his… Ugh, I can’t believe I… Huh? Wait, the window is stuck.” You brought your hooves down on it, kicked it, tried to raise it, but nothing was working.
“Having trouble?” Said a voice. The Ex-X-Captain, or XX-Captain as you’ll think of him now, slowly raised his head as he snickered, staring at you in absolute evil glee. “I locked it, so now you can’t get in. I WIN! HAHAHAHAHA!” He raised his hooves as he laughed maniacally. “NOW TO TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA! What do you have to say to that! Hm?”
You take back any soft and caring thoughts about this assfuck. “What do I think?” You ask as you calmly narrow your eyes at him. “I think you better open that window, or else.”
His grin becomes even smugger as he brings his face closer to the window “Or else what?”
“I can teleport, jackass. I’ll teleport right in there, force you to be Twilight Sparkle, and then I’ll rape you. Ok? I’ll rape you until I get all my pent up sexual frustration out of my mind and body. Do you hear me? I’ll make you be a mare of my choice every night until I get sick of sex. And there will be no safety words once I get to shoving shit up your ass just to get over how pissed off you made me. So again, open the DAMN window, or else.” You tell him, narrowing your eyes as you stare at him with a scaringly authoritative expression.
“Meep!” Squeaked the XX-Captain. With wide eyes, and the only movement coming from his legs, he unlocks the window and slowly opens it. He then steps backwards as you slip inside.
“Well, what are you staring at? You remember where the basement is! Go on! Get!” You swat your right hoof at him, making him fly up, smash his head on the wall, then scamper down through the floor door. “Fucking christ, might as well be a dad already with the kind of shit I gotta deal with. Geez…” You sigh, and do your best to calm yourself. “C’mon, Anon, you got a dinner to get to. Ok… Don’t worry about the Storm Ravager, he’s dead, he deserves it. He… Totally does, guy was irredeemable. Hell, had you and Discord not done anything when he shattered to pieces, he’d be long dead before anyway, no skin off your nose. Right? Yeah… Ok… Just be cute for Fluttershy, she’ll like that.” You take another breath and look towards the window, using your horn to don a cute little bowtie as magical brushes work their magic on your mane. “I look ok…” You rub your tongue along your teeth while focusing on the mirror, they felt fine. “Ok, good. Ok…” Once your spell was finished, you took another breath, and smiled towards the mirror. “Yeah, it wasn’t anything. Just a really chaotic spell… That somehow had a really close effect to that postal spell you cast against Garble… Ok. Ok… Don’t stress.” You take one last breath and make a pose. “Yeah, l-lookin’ good.”
It was nothing, you did a good thing. The Storm King overstayed his welcome and royally fucked up by trying to take you on while you had unlimited charges. And whatever effect the magic had on you was gone now, and probably wasn’t even related, it was most likely just an addition to the spell. Anyway, you try to remove all these thoughts in your head as you use the portal door to appear in front of Fluttershy’s cottage. The sun was already down, you wasted a lot of time looking for that ingrate of a changeling. He too didn’t really deserve any mercy, but he really was too much of a doofus to really be a threat at this point.
When you reach the door, you take another breath and knock. You then wait. Either Discord or Fluttershy would get the door, and then all you had to do was lay on the ole’ Anon charm.
Of course, you also forgot about the other little resident of Fluttershy’s cottage. The door opened as Angel slipped through the crack, dressed in a waiter’s outfit, as he looked up at you with a cranky expression. He had a little pen and clipboard with him. Hoo boy, this must be Discord’s doing. HA! He was like, the valet or whatever. “Hey Angel.” You say with a big grin, knowing exactly what this trope is. “Don’t worry, I’m on the list.”
Angel grumbled, little noises escaping his mouth as he rolled his eyes. He then took a breath and started ‘talking’ to you, pointing past the doorway which seemed to lead into a… Very nice banquet hall. Wew, Discord, going all out, eh?
“Yeah, yeah. Alright, step aside, the guest of honor is coming thro-om?” When you go to proudly step forward, Angel steps in front of you and holds out his paw, gripping it as he points to it with his other. The guy wanted a tip, a tip in carrots. “You serious?”
He just stares at you harder, pressing on his paw as he awaited his carroty goodness, he then began to make indiscernible chatter.
“What do you mean we have to be nicer to each other?! We have our truces, but you’re still a big jerk!” You remind him. However, he just points back at you, making more rabbity noises out of his mouth. “What?! I am not! Remember, this all started because you treated me like a jerk from the get go! It’s not as if…” But he interrupts you again, and stares at you very hard as he makes his ears look like Fluttershy’s mane, then makes it look like yours as he made googly eyes. “That… Is not… Ok, fine, so maybe that was a good reason to be suspicious of me, but that was a long time ago! I have a marefriend now and…” But he interrupts you again with even more of his chatter. “... Ahm, erm, yeah… I do sometimes think of other… Ugh, I know where this is going. Fiiinneeee, you’re lucky I have unlimited magic right now.” You roll your eyes as place your horn on your head, using your magic to make a giant carrot appear behind you, about the size of you. “This good?”
Angel nearly fell over at the sight of it. To him, it was colossal. He hopped over to it and began to just snuggle on it as if it was his lover.
“We square? Can I go in without a problem?” You ask him as you await his reply. He looks to you, and gives you a quick nod before returning to his nuzzle cuddles. “Ok, good.” Sheesh, this guy. You still had to be careful around him, simply due to the fact Fluttershy loves him too much and he definitely uses it to his advantage.
You step inside. And man, what an interior! The ceiling was… Well, ok, it was a tad much with there being a painting of Discord reaching out with a single talon towards Fluttershy, who was laying there in a cloth as she reached her hoof out towards him. The walls were all gold, with spiraling pillars. The windows were large and glamorous, with red curtains for each. The patrons? Bah, all Discord clones in different attire, both male and female. It made you feel a tad uncomfortable considering what happened at the wedding, but at the same time, you shouldn’t expect anything to happen since they're all of Discord’s chaotic will. Up on stage was a band of Discords and… Woah, is that Octavia? Holy shit, it was. And man, that mane, that cute little bowtie, that grace. You had to just get a little closer and…
“Ooooh, Anon. Over here, son! Unless you think I’m the beautiful mare with the cello.” Called out Discord, who was waving you down from a nearby table, Fluttershy sitting by him with just her normal attire of nothing.
“Ahrm… That wasn't it, I was just enjoying the music since I couldn’t find you guys.” You say with a nervous chuckle as you hobble on over to the table. “Heya Dad, Aunt Fluttershy. Uh, great to see you two. Um, what’s with this whole thing?” You ask as you wave your hoof about before taking a seat.
“Oh, your father felt very festive all of a sudden.” Fluttershy said with a soft giggle “I told him it was a little too much for just being my first day.”
“Yes, it might even be, but who cares? The point of this is to celebrate as a family.” Discord said as he leaned back in his seat. “And the fact we hadn’t all been in the same room for quite some time.”
Wut? “We were all at the wedding. The fake wedding for me, remember?”
“That doesn’t count. You were mostly elsewhere, either getting ready for said wedding or getting ready for your doom. I wouldn’t really-” But Fluttershy cuts him off as she nervously tries to put his words in a more positive light.
“U-um, what your father MEANS to say is that it was more for you and Diamond Tiara. This dinner, well, I’d like to think of it as something for all of us. I don’t really think it should have anything to do with my first day as a professor. Really, it should just be us having a nice dinner and enjoying our company, right Discord?” Fluttershy asks as she looks at him with a gentle smile.
“Well, yes, I did say it had something to do with that. Ahrm, but I suppose that should be the main thing as well. Anyway, don’t worry about ordering, Anon, we already have food coming to the table.” Discord says as he sits back up, taking a gentle breath and doing his best to hold back his arrogant tendencies.
“I thought you were making- Never mind, I guess everypony here is basically you. Which, uh…” You look back at Octavia, then back to Discord. “Makes me wonder, is she a clone too?”
“No, that’s actually who you think it is.” Discord replied.
Wut? “Really? How did you get her to come here and play? Like, did you, y’know, do your mind thing?”
“No, I didn’t” Discord replied again.
“Then how? How did you get her to play?” You ask, in wonderment on how he managed such a feat without his mind altering magic.
Discord shrugged “How else? I paid her”
You nearly fell forward on that one. And given he wasn’t looking too cocky about it… “Oh…” What a surprising but anti-climatic answer, so much so that you somehow felt embarrassed by it. “I-I guess that makes sense.”
“Oh, your father was very generous, Anon. He not only gave her double the bits she usually asks for, but he also renewed the strings on her cello too! I feel like he secretly must have taken Rarity’s class today.” Fluttershy said with a gentle giggle.
Discord held back a huff as he said under his breath. “It was the only way she’d even agree at all. Not my fault my cello player broke his arm.”
Even more ‘wut?!’ “Uhhhhh, you mean your clone? How is that even possible?”
“Easy. During practice, I suggested he try putting a dictionary I toyed with back in its proper order. The mad-stallion actually did it! Can you believe it? His arm literally fell off into an unreturnable void!” Discord groaned as he rolled his eyes “Really, how could I know he’d actually dare such a dangerous feat!”
But… He was the one who dared him, and he… Wait, so he made a clone that would listen to such a orderly command? Like, as in something that would risk their lives? And now he’s annoyed because the clone, the clone he probably made that would specifically do such a thing in the first place, blew up its arm? When he was the one who caused it? Ugh, your brain was starting to melt. “O-ok then. Erm, Sooooo…” You tapped your hooves on the table nervously, then looked to Fluttershy “How did the first day of teaching go? I can’t really imagine how a kindness class would go so I really wanna know how it went.”
“Oh, Anon, it went amazingly well.” Fluttershy said with a satisfied giggle “So well, in fact, that I can’t wait for you to start attending my class too! All the cute little animals really helped put many of the students’ minds at ease. Now, I haven’t started on anything too difficult, today’s class was just an introduction to the element of kindness, so all I really asked of everycreature was to treat the animals nicely and give them a few treats. It went so well I almost cried, everycreature was getting along with the animals and with each other.” Fluttershy was beside herself in joy, up until something seemed to stop her train of thought. “...Although, there was something that really irked me.”
“What, was it a student not being kind?” Discord asked, suddenly being a little defensive. “Because I can fix that.”
“Oh no no no, it’s not that at all.” Fluttershy said with a hint of franticness in her tone, not wanting Discord to do anything violent or mean. “ You see, Anon already made a few friends from the school before they even started attending. And while Ocellus, our changeling student, makes sense. We have another named Smolder that also knows him. They became friends after Anon helped her smash a gem boulder.”
“Um…” Yep, that was the ‘official’ reason you became friends with her. But why did it bother Fluttershy so much? “Yeah, that’s how it happened. Why, is there something wrong with that?”
“Well, no, it made me glad you’re already making more friends. It’s just…” Fluttershy looked at you with an expression of worry. “Why were you in the Dragon Lands? Anon, you didn’t go looking for that meanie dragon that attacked you, did you? I had heard from Twilight that it was already dealt with.”
GYAH! THE GUILT! You never actually thought you’d need a reason to be there. Ogh, and telling her you were on a spy mission for pedo Dracula pone was probably not the best idea either. Oh man, Anon, are you really gonna lie to her? You were really doing good at not lying… “I was just…” You hang your head low, and look up at her slowly to see her reaction. “Y-yes, I just felt really angry that he could destroy an entire place and not pay for it. But I guess I also had a real chip on my shoulder about dragons too… But Smolder, and even Princess Ember? Yeah, they kinda showed me dragons aren’t all bad.” Smooth, Anon, smooth.
“Oh! So you learned a friendship lesson then? That’s really great!” Fluttershy smiled, she was absolutely beaming at the thought of you making friends and a disaster not happening. “I’m so glad everything worked out for the better. Smolder seems really nice, she already seems like a good friend. Oh, actually, that reminds me. Anon, when you start attending classes, do you think you can keep the whole ‘Hero Colt’ thing, um, as not a big thing?”
Hm? “Sure, I-I can do that. But why?”
“You have some fans, that’s all. And let’s just say one is reeeaaaalllllyyy into it. When she found out I was your aunt, she kinda… Um, well. It seems you’re just really well known in Mount Aris and Seaquestria. And, um, I’d just appreciate you not making it too big a thing. I-It's nothing against you, no, I’m really proud of you for it. It’s just, I’d rather there not be a fuss, that’s all. D-do you understand what I’m saying?” Fluttershy was starting to become a little meek over it. She really was proud of you, but it seems she really didn’t want you flaunting it or your status in general. She didn't want it causing a disruption in school. She also didn’t want to sound insulting to you.
You just smile at her, and salute. You understood what she was getting at. “No problemo, Aunt Fluttershy. I can keep things cool. Oh!” There was something you had to ask. Your mind was already thinking about this Silverstream. If she was half as cute as Princess Skystar then, woo, things were gonna be grand. But this yak, this yak who wanted to challenge you, surely she had to have said something to Fluttershy. “So, I hear the classmates are all really diverse. Are there any yaks? Specifically any that know about me? Ok, I know you said not to flaunt it and all. I just wanna know what I’m dealing with, that’s all.”
“Well, there’s Yona. She really wants to meet you, but she wouldn’t tell me why. Oh well, I’m sure she’ll be happy just the same for the chance to be in the same class as you. But again, as Anon, and not the ‘Hero Colt’.” Fluttershy reminds you, despite her already have said something about it a moment ago.
“I know, I know. You can trust me.” You tell her.
“I know I can. Oh, so how was both your days?” Fluttershy asked, as politely and adorably as she normally would.
“Finally, a chance to speak. Well, my day has been going very well. Had this place set up” Discord says as he slowly pans his arm around the room. “Dinner should be arriving any minute, and of course, it’s all due to the fact that I am ultimately just amazing. You’re very lucky to have a friend like me, Fluttershy. This, I assure you.”
“Oh, I know. But that doesn’t really tell me about your day, Discord.” Fluttershy said with a giggle, finding his mannerisms humorous. “I want to know what your day has been like. Oh, did you and Anon do anything fun together? I’d love to hear about that if you both did!”
“I… No, I spent most of the day baking a cake, which we’ll be feasting on soon. Um, hmmm…” Discord began to rub his chin as he realized he hadn’t done anything too chaotic today. “I really haven’t done anything fun today.” Discord began to frown, sinking into his chair. “Now I feel foolish, how could I throw this dinner without any dinner conversation? I must look really dumb right now…” Discord then slowly looks over to you “... Which is why I think we should talk about Anon’s recent victory over the Storm King.”
“Hm? Recent, but that was a long ti-” Fluttershy’s eyes went wide, as did yours. HE KNEW?! HE WASN’T EVEN THERE, HE ISN’T THAT OMNISCIENT!. “Discord… Please tell me you’re joking, a-a-and not telling me that he just sprang up out of nowhere… Or worse, you brought him back.”
You just sat there, stunned, eye twitching. This fucking madman, what was he up to now?!
“Not really brought him back, but more kept as a pet. Then one thing led to another, came back as a gigantic… Thing. And then Anon, being the hero colt he is, actually factually defeated the Storm King proper this time. Sure, he needed a dose of my essence to get him to finish the job, which kind of takes away from it a little. But I must say, the kitchen sink? Mmmm.” Discord kisses each of his talons individually in congratulations to you “Delicious play, if I do say so myself.”
“DISCORD!” Both you and Fluttershy yell out, before Fluttershy looks over to you and says “ANON!”
Ohhh damn! Fluttershy looked, well she wasn’t pissed, just upset. “Gyaooh, erm. Haha, c’moooon, it’s not as bad as he makes it sound. I mean, I’m here, I’m alive, I’m not hurt. I really walloped him and stuff. So, y’know, no reason to be mad.”
“I’m more upset at hearing that he was basically kept as a pet when he’s really REALLY dangerous! Ooooh! I’m very very upset now! Why would you even do that?!” Fluttershy asked, utterly upset at how such a thing could be allowed.
“O-ok, to be fair!...” You look over to Discord, and immediately point at him “It was his idea too! Dad said it’d be funny!”
“What can I say?” Discord shrugs with a grin “It is, it was, and now it’s over. Fluttershy, I only even mention this because, as you can see, both Anon and myself are even more responsible than you realize. Yes, I think we both deserve praise for the proper handling and disposal of one of Equestria’s most dangerous villains.”
Fluttershy just becomes silent, and raises a single eyebrow at Discord. “Discord, he was already handled. Why would you do that? Why would you BOTH do that?”
Discord was beginning to regret his ill-timed piece of conversation as you just slam your face on the table. He just looked at her, and tried to explain his reasoning. “Well, I thought it’d be fun. Then it got boring, then I stopped caring, and then other things happened, and eventually Anon proved that with a bit of help, he could overcome a powerful enemy. What more is there to understand?”
You just slowly raise your head with a groan. “Because it was reckless, dangerous, and put my life in danger. Ugh, and for me, it was dumb, reckless again, and showed some dishonesty that’d I’d not mention it at all. That’s right, isn’t it?”
Fluttershy nods. “It is, and it’s why I’m disappointed in the both of you. Just because you won doesn’t mean I’d be happy about it. Just like there’d be no way I’d be happy with that big meanie still being around to hurt you, or anypony really. I’m sorry, but I’m just not happy with the both of you right now.”
“Fluttershy, don’t you think you’re overreacting? Relax, it’s a family dinner! Maybe you’re just hungry. Don’t worry, the food will be here soon and…” But Fluttershy cuts him off, speaking up with as authoritative voice as she could muster.
“No! I don’t think I’m overreacting, and I’m not going to just let this go just because everything looks very fancy and nice! Discord, we need to talk. I will not let this slide, and as Anon’s aunt, I need to have this talk with you so you understand WHY it’s wrong, and then you can explain it to Anon. You can’t, as a father, just do what you want just because it’s ‘funny’! You have responsibilities towards Anon, and you just haven’t been as responsible as I think you could be!”
“Oh… Hrn, well, things are starting to make a little more sense now as to why you’re upset. Erm, can we at least do this after dinner?” Discord asked with a sheepish smile.
“Give Anon a doggie bag, a non-literal and healthy doggie bag, and send him home. After we talk, I expect you to talk to him in the morning. We need to talk about not only your role as a father, but also about things you shouldn’t and REALLY shouldn’t be doing. I know you’re better than this, Discord, but I just can’t overlook this. Do you understand me?” Fluttershy looked up at him, still looking serious, but she was clearly feeling hurt in herself for being so stern.
“A-aunt Fluttershy… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset. We just, we just… Erm.” God, what do you say to her to try to diffuse the situation? ”Look, I know this looks bad, but me and Dad are chaotic in nature. Things happen, and we just kind of do things because normal things just aren't for us sometimes, you know that. I admit, the Storm King thing was probably a thing that was a little too far. But you heard Dad, it was handled. If anything, it felt like chaos training to me, I wasn’t in any real danger.” Ok, that last part was totally not true. It also looked like you had your answer to that weird feeling. Discord’s essence? You really needed to ask about that when you got the chance. “And even if I was, Dad knew, and had my back the entire time. I get it, what we both did was dangerous and stupid, and we allowed the possibility for the Storm King to come back. I promise, I won’t let it happen again, I’ll make sure of it. Please… Don’t send me home, you’ve been gone for awhile, I just want to spend the night with you and Dad… Please?” You just look at her with big sad eyes, hoping to appeal to her softer nature.
Fluttershy sighs, calming down, but still heavily disappointed. “Anon, what you and your father did was manipulate somecreature’s life for your own enjoyment. It’s wrong, no matter how bad they are, it’s just wrong. I can’t just look this over like that.” She looks down, feeling just a little guilt over how she herself was acting.
“You can. At least for him.” Discord says, looking away, sounding somber
“What? Discord?” Fluttershy looks to him, confused. “What do you mean?”
Suddenly, everything goes dark as a spotlight hits Discord. He slowly stands and then begins to make his way to the stage. “I mean what I said. The truth of the matter is Anon didn’t have a choice when it came to the Storm King. Ahrm…” Discord looks over to Octavia and the discordian band. “Appropriate music for the moment, if you please.” And with that, Octavia, somewhat confused, still nods and begins to lead the band to a more depressing melody. “Anyway, yes, Anon is not to blame.” Discord looks over to Fluttershy with tears in his eyes. “How could you expect me not to exact some sort of revenge? To know I wasn’t there to defend you or Anon, to know that he hurt him so, to even know that he tried to destroy you simply for getting in his way. Fluttershy, my dearest friend, I care about you both so much. This Storm King, to me, deserved the most humiliating punishment I could muster, and so I convinced my son to help me carry it out. I made sure Anon would agree and that he would be the one to humiliate him every step of the way simply because I hated him for what he did. So, please, if you are to blame anypony, blame me.”
Woah, did Discord say all that? Wait, some of that was a lie, you both came up with that punishment together. Hell, you were humiliating him just because it was funny, just like you had been doing to the X-Captain. So, was Discord just taking the blame just because? Or was it something else.
Either way, it actually seemed like Fluttershy didn’t buy it. “Discord…” She lets out a heavy sigh “I know a lot of that isn’t true.”
Discord recoiled as the lights suddenly came back on. He began to nervously twitch his talons and paws together as he sheepishly retorted “Well, more like some. I really did feel the Storm King needed a punishment, and I do care about you both very much. And that anger I mentioned, oh that was very real.”
“I know…” Fluttershy looked up for a moment, then gave a hopeful smile towards him. “And I think I understand how you feel, how you both feel. It’s still wrong though, but I guess I… Well…” Fluttershy began to feel nervous as she tapped her hooves together shyly. “I really didn’t like him at all, like, really really didn’t like him. But it’s still the wrong thing to do. I want you both to promise me you’ll never do it again… Or at least tell me if you are so I can tell you not to do it.”
The way she worded that… “I promise… But does that mean we’re still having dinner together?”
Fluttershy nods with a smile.
“Then I double on that promise! Alright, Everypony, continue as normal!” Discord disappears from the stage and instantly reappears on his chair.
“Discord, I mean it, please keep that promise.” Fluttershy said, being rather serious about her words.
“I promise, Fluttershy, I truly do.“ Discord says, as a third paw appears over his forehead to wipe some sweat. It seems he realized his own stupid mistake with that one, and was relieved that he managed to reel things back in before everything was ruined completely. After wiping his forehead clean, Discord then looked to you, looking serious himself. “As for you, Anon, I bet you’re wondering EXACTLY how that essence thing works. Well, that will be for tomorrow.”
“Oh…” Fluttershy realizes that there was a fight that was mentioned, and that you won. “Wait! So what happened to the Storm King?”
“Well, he kind of tried to end me to get to Equestria and take over again. But I dropped a giant kitchen sink on him. I actually don’t know what happened to him after that, I think he’s gone…” Wait, don’t say it that way, that could upset her “Erm, somewhere in the chaos dimension.”
“Oh” Fluttershy just responds, as in, that was all she said for a moment before looking left and right and whispering. “Well… Erm, that’s probably a good thing. Um! But, um! Like I said, don’t let it happen again! Ok?” Fluttershy said with a gulp, realizing she may have encouraged the opposite of what she wanted for you altogether.
“I know, I got it Aunt Fluttershy.” You say with a sunny smile, letting her know everything was ok.
Discord stretches his head up to see his clone bringing in a large set of plates with various foods and such. “Ah, and look at that, dinner has arrived.”
“...So he actually lets me in, right? For me to pretty much give him this kingdom I don’t own. Like, Flim believed it more than Flam, but Flam still not only let me in for contract negotiations, but he even got me snacks on demand as if I was actually a prince!” You said with a cackle, taking a bite of your carrot dog.
Indeed, dinner was a full spread in front of all of you. There was the butter pound cake, carrot dogs, Some sort of cheese fondue, hayburgers, apple cider, soda, water. It wasn’t as fancy as the place Discord created, but maybe that was the point.
“Well, he believed you were.” Discord said with a snicker “It still boggles the mind that they could be so easily tricked after getting so far with their plan. But then I forget, but not really, that chaotic thinking can achieve anything.”
“Well, I’d like to think it’s because Anon looks like a prince. At least I think so.” Fluttershy said with a cheerful smile “Just look at how cute he is, Discord. I’d even say he’s… Chaotically cute?” Fluttershy says, hoping her joke would be received positively.
“Chaotically cute? Hah! Fluttershy, I didn’t take you as that much of a jokester.” Discord says with applause. “So good, I think I’ll use that as reference to Anon’s look.”
God, that wasn’t even much of a joke. What a suck up. Ah well, it was still cute coming from Fluttershy, so you at least let out a small chuckle before continuing your story. “Heh, well, I am super good looking after all. But wait, hold on, I didn’t even get to the best part yet. Ok, so, he leaves the room for a minute, right? So I’m like ‘I’m gonna take a poop’, and I did! And the bestest best part? He actually let it slide because I told him ‘our kingdom’ does it all the time! HAHA! Oh man, it was awesome. the face he made was priceless”
Fluttershy immediately gasped upon hearing that, bringing her hooves to her mouth. But oddly enough, she didn’t say anything or look shocked. Instead, she was shaking, with little sounds escaping her lips. You were about to ask her if she was ok. Hell, you now expected her to suddenly not be ok with you doing that despite the alternate Flim Flam brothers being foal slaving douchebags. But that wasn’t it, because after a while more, Fluttershy burst into laughter.
You hadn’t even noticed that Discord had a talon out, pointing at you. “Well, looks like I won’t be using soap.” Discord then smiled, and began to rest his head on his hand as he took a bite of his glass of cider. “Find something amusing, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy, realizing she was giggling, let out a quick and embarrassed ‘Eep” as she covered her mouth again with her hooves. Then, when she noticed the both of you waiting for an answer from her, she slowly lowered her hooves, still letting out a tiny titter, and then took a deep breath before looking at you and saying. “Erm… Don’t you think that was a little too much?”
You lean forward and look to her with a smirk “I dunno, Aunt Fluttershy, would have it been as funny if I didn’t do that?”
Fluttershy twitched with a tiny tiny little giggle, and then let out a content sigh. “No, I guess not. Oh my, I shouldn’t find something like that so funny. But considering what those brothers did to those foals, Equestria, and Princess Celestia… Well… Erm. Ahrm, well, I suppose they get doody for being doody heads.”
Discord let out a small snicker at that as he took a slice of cake. “Well, it was only one of them at that time. Although they both did get it later when our dear bug friend decided to shove them into a portable toilet and throw them down the side of a mountain.”
Fluttershy cringed at that one “Ohhhwwwweee, that’s… Oh.”
Hm? “You don’t feel sorry for them, do you, Aunt Fluttershy?”
“Oh, no, I guess not. It’s just, well, that’s very unclean. And, um, a little much considering we’re eating dinner.” Fluttershy said, stifling yet another giggle, but avoiding calling any attention to it.
“Unclean? Well, yes, it is unclean. However, I think it was both quite funny and fitting.” Discord let out a laugh as he said that. “Really, when you think about it, Canterlot would be doomed if a giant toilet attacked. The upper crust citizens would spontaneously combust at the sight of it!” Discord started laughing at that. Hell, that was actually a good fucking joke that it made you start giggling too.
“Oh, well…” Fluttershy shifts her eyes left and right, then with a tiny giggle says “If Rarity is anything to go by, that might just happen. Hehe! All this talk of chaotic things makes me want to admit that maybe, erm, I also did something that is, I think, pretty chaotic.”
Discord immediately lit up, quite literally, with interest “You did?! Tell us!” Discord turned child-like with a little helicopter cap and scootched his seat right next to yours, looking to Fluttershy with fascination as he put his head on his paw and talons. “Teeeeeeeeeeeellllllll us!”
Did she? Well goddamn, you had to hear this. “Yeah, Aunt Fluttershy, tell us! You can’t just say that and not, you know?”
“I know, I know, I wasn’t planning on not telling it. Well…” Fluttershy took a moment, and then cleared her throat. “A long time back, when I was a foal, I actually took a cookie from the cookie jar without asking! And then when my father asked about it, I blamed it on Zephyr… And then I immediately felt bad and said I did it. I hate to say it, but I almost got away with it, and would have been happy too since Zephyr was being… Well, you know. But I couldn’t do that to him when he didn’t do anything really wrong, so I took my punishment with pride.” Fluttershy then giggled once again “Although, in the end, I still got the cookie.”
Wut? Well, why are you surprised? That is pretty ‘Fluttershy’ of her. Plus Zephyr was an asshole, you had only met him once before and god, the fact he actually tried to take the horn from you in trade of a haircut was ridiculous, especially when he tried to cut your mane while you were asleep to justify said trade. He got better after apparently Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash helped him, but still, ‘Uncle’ Zephyr is an ass. “Heh… ha, erm, I suppose that’s what counts.”
“Bravo, Fluttershy, Bravo.” Discord said with a clap as he changed back to normal “Much better than the time you turned into a vampony or spooked your friends, simply because of the deviousness sprinkled in on that attempt of blaming your brother.”
“Oh, well, I don’t like to think of it as something worth applauding. I just thought it was funny I got the cookie. The punishment was a little harsh though, I had to spend the day in my room instead of being able to go out and play with my then new animal friends. Though, not being able to spend time with them did make me feel very awful too.” Fluttershy said with a mood killing sigh. "I guess maybe it taught me not to do anything like that again."
“Ah come on, Aunt Fluttershy, that was the past, nothing to worry about an-” You stop right there when you realized something Discord said was actually damned interesting. “Wait, you spooked your friends? As in, scared them? When?!”
“Oh, that was the Nightmare Night where you solved the case of that mean ‘Sharpclaw’ thief. Which, now when I think about it, is kind of a weird alias for a griffon when they use their talons, not claws.” Fluttershy said as she pondered on the thought.
“Sounds like an oversight to me. But hm, Anon, she never told you the story?” Discord asked, wondering about that.
“No, and I’m really interested! Can you tell it to me, Aunt Fluttershy?” You ask, in genuine interest. How the fuck did she manage to scare the other five?
“Well, I’m not really proud of it too much, but it was all in good fun. So yes, I’ll explain it…” And so she did. From spooking them in some sort of maze, to getting the help of her animal friends, right down to dressing up as the very vampony she had become. Goddamn, you didn’t know she had it in her.
And with that, a genuine chuckle burst from your mouth. “Aunt Fluttershy, that’s awesome! Especially considering you managed to scare all of them! Twilight especially, she can be pretty brave when she wants to be.”
“Well, she kind of wasn’t that time.” Fluttershy said with a small giggle. “But it’s something I just can’t see doing again. I know what it’s like to be scared, it’s not fun.”
To you, that depended. Being scared in a nicer setting or with friends can be fun. But when it’s for your life, or when danger actually looms. Yeah, that’s when it’s not fun anymore. You understood all that, and conveyed that to Fluttershy, who did agree with you, even if she wanted to avoid scaring anyone altogether. Still, damn, you wished you got to see her do it, it sounded rad.
And so, the rest of dinner went about like this. Friendly chats, jokes, Discord being jovial about the things he does. Eventually, as dinner drew to a close, Discord had one last thing to do before he packed it all up. He took a glass of cider and raised it up high, catching the attention of all the other patrons. “Excuse me, everypony, excuse me. May I have your attention?” But alas, the other clones just continued to mingle. Discord started to turn red in anger, and finally let out “I SAID EXCUSE ME! I’M TRYING TO BE POLITE FOR FLUTTERSHY. BUT SO HELP ME, I’LL THROW ANON AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU UNLESS YOU SHUT IT RIGHT NOW!”
And with that, everyone one in the room shut up. Though you, however, took a moment to realize what his words actually entailed. But before you could raise an objection, Discord continued to speak.
“Thank you” Discord said as he cleared his throat. “Before we close tonight’s dinner extravaganza, I’d like to make a toast. Not only to me, since I already know how great I am. And trust me, I do know that, I say it all the time, after all. But I digress, this also extends to Fluttershy and Anon. To Fluttershy, I say, without her, I’d still be with my stone heart… And still be made of stone. Indeed, Fluttershy helped me become the draconequus I am today, and I wouldn't change it for the world… Or this world anyway. And then there is Anon, my dear chaotic son, whom I whisked away from the horrid life of humanity, he is the one who I can count on most when it comes to chaos and chaotic back up. Me and him, we’re two of a kind, even if I’m of a better suit. But to be quite serious, Anon has proven his worth tenfold, and even if I was to have a draconequus son, I doubt he’d be half the little chaos maker Anon is. So again, a toast to us, for family!”
“Oh Discord…” Fluttershy said in a low tearful voice before raising her glass. “For family!”
Damn man, why’d he have to go and say it like that. Heh, he really is, and always will be, a great guy. “For family!”
And with that, you all clang your glasses, and take a drink.
The dinner carried on as normal after that. Small discussions and the like, how prepared you are for Twilight’s school, shit like that. But your mind was truly focused for tomorrow morning, it was going to be something that you just had to make sure would not go wrong at any point, which could be made especially difficult since Diamond is coming along. A needed asset to be sure, but one that is also volatile.
Fluttershy had noticed your eyes trailing off and you being rather silent. She worried something might be wrong, or that perhaps you were even hurt from your fight with the Storm Ravager. But you just let her know that you were tired. You were, but it really was just the fact that your thoughts kept wandering. You could tell her what you planned to do tomorrow, she already knew about you wanting to meet with Chrysalis. But you held off, you couldn’t tell her you were going to meet her very soon at the risk she suddenly feels that it’d be too risky. Even if she was reasonable about it, she’d most likely ask Discord to tag along, something you wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t for the fact that you KNEW he might actually be protective himself should Chrysalis get aggressive, or just be an ass to her and ruin your chances. No, you’ll do just fine handling it on your own. Discord has always, at most times, handled things very well with you, like a team. But Chrysalis was something else, something that required the connection you both had to each other to truly work.
Fluttershy, believing your words, hops off her seat to give you a gentle head pat and a kiss on the forehead, just as she always does, and suggests you turn in early for the night, also mentioning that she was going to stay here and discuss a few things with Discord about how Twilight’s school works and what will probably be expected of him. To you, that just meant she was probably going to tell him not to cause trouble, or too much trouble anyway.
You say your goodnights, waving to them both as you use your horn to whisk yourself off to your room. You take a quick look around at first to make sure the XX-Captain was around. He wasn’t, good, seems he learns better than Scrappy ever did. You walk over to your alarm and set it to about eight, early enough to get in and then come out without anyone being the wiser. Hell, after you succeed in your meeting with Chrysalis, you could scope out this ‘Silverstream’ and ‘Yona’ and find out exactly what they thought of you from their perspective.
And with that, you head off to sleep.
The night passes, a new day arises. Your alarm goes off, filling your room with its usual noisy outburst as you open your eyes, yawn, and stretch. You slowly get up and shut your alarm off, it was fucking time. IT WAS TIME, BABY, YEAH!
You look upon your saddlebag and wonder if you even needed it at this point. You still had unlimited magic, but that was only if you could get your horn on your head. The map could still be useful, especially since Chrysalis still shows up on it. You could use it to find her exact location within the forest. Alright then, saddle bag it is. You put it around you and open your portal door to Ponyville. You step through to appear by the fountain once more, with the sun shining towards a beautiful morning.
Ok, so first, you pick up Diamond and teleport to the entrance of the Everfree. But before that, you should enchant your map to give you a way point towards Chrysalis. Since she should still be traceable on it, it shouldn’t be that hard to track her. You could just teleport straight to her, but without knowing if she’d want to be found or if anything from the Everfree could interfere with your trajectory, it could be risky. Hell, everything can just blow up in your face again too. Chaos was fickle, and always required something unexpected or ridiculous for it to work properly beyond basic teleporting and such.
And with that, after enchanting said map, you teleport straight to the front gate of Diamond’s mansion. You just look upon it for a moment, thinking again if this was a good idea. It should be fine, you have the power, so what could go wrong? Yeah, no, it should be fine. Once Chrysalis knows how much you all care for her, she should come around.
“Pssst, Anon, ppssst!” Said a low voice from the bushes.
“Wha? Huh?” You look around for the noise, and notice a few bushes from the side of the gate shaking ever so subtly. “Hello?” You approach slowly, and notice a small figure, like a filly.
Diamond’s face, covered by some sort of cowl, was looking directly at you. She looked upset, with her muzzle scrunched up. “Anon! What are you doing?!” She whispered rather intensely.
Wut? “Uhhh, coming to pick you up? I should be asking what you’re doing hiding in those bushes. And why are you wearing a hood?”
“Why aren’t you? Ugh, Anon, we are very important ponies! There might be a scandal if other ponies see us walking to the Everfree together. Paparazzi are like piranhas, totally hungry for a scoop.” Diamond said as she looked left and right to see if anyone was on the road. There wasn't.
Wuuuut? “I mean, I get that, but what exactly is the scandal? Applebloom goes to Zecora’s all the time and nopony bothers her about it.”
Diamond goes wide eyed for a moment, blinking silently before going. “Oh…”
“Yeeeah, and anyway. I’m just gonna teleport us to the entrance of the forest and track down Chrysalis with my map.” You pull it out again to show her. “So nopony can really follow us anyway.”
“Well, erm, I guess that works. But why don’t we just teleport directly to her then?” Diamond asks.
“Teleporting with chaos magic is kinda quirky. It usually works, but I think it works for me a little differently. Basically, things gotta line up just right for something bad not to happen. Like, when I tried to find something beyond what I usually know, I ended up blasting off. Haha… Wasn’t fun.” It really wasn’t, it taught you that your ability for long distance travel can have a few snags.
“Blasting off?” Diamond popped out of the bushes and gave you a good look around, circling you to see if there were any injuries. “You mean like when you landed in my room?” She then looks to your face, then smiles. “Because as far as I know, even that can’t stop you, you’re just that amazing.”
D’awww. Though the room thing was fucking Discord's fault. “I know. But for your safety, we should just go to the forest entrance and work our way in. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from anything that might try to attack us.”
Diamond blushed and lowered her cowl. She moved a bit closer to you, and booped your nose with hers. “You’re so amazing, you know that?”
You blush just a bit as you return her affections with your own, giving her little nose a kiss. “I know, I’m super amazing actually, because I have the best marefriend ever.” oof, cheesy, but it works.
Diamond nearly hopped as she heard that. She then, still blushing, walked ahead and pointed forward “Then we’re an amazing team, as we should be! And that means we have a sister to save! Right, Anon?”
You nod, she wasn’t wrong. “Right, let’s do this!” You call out, and using your horn, you teleport yourself and Diamond to the entrance of the Everfree Forest. A foreboding kind of entrance with a single trail you’ll most likely be veering off of if your map showed Chrysalis as being very far in. You peer past the dense trees that will no doubt become more ominous as you venture forth. “Ok, Diamond, we have to go in there to find Chrysalis.” You ready your map, and prepare to step forward. “So stick close to me, alright?”
Diamond threw off her cowl, standing bravely at your side as she pointed forward towards the forest. “Don’t worry, Anon, I’m not some scared little foal who needs protecting. I am your future wife! And I will stand by your side as we find our friend!... Erm…” She then looks to you, a little confused. “Who is totally that way, right? The forest is pretty big, so are you sure it’s this way?”
You hold up the map confidently as you start to walk into the forest. “It sure is, all we have to do is get to this dot here and we’ll be home free. It looks pretty deep in, but the map shows us every wall, nook, and cranny in the area. We have no chance of getting lost.”
Diamond giggled as she began to walk along with you, looking at you with admiration. “Oh, I sometimes forget just how good at being you are with your tools.”
“I know” You say with a grin , focusing on the map while taking a look forward every now and again. You had to focus really, because that line. Hehe, just avoid the obvious double entendre “Hm, I don’t think I can really remember having to venture too far into the forest. Other than a few lessons I took under Twilight awhile back… Which nearly ended up killing me.”
“The chimera, right? I still don’t get that. What was a chimera even doing there anyway?” Diamond asked, wondering about it.
“No idea, but sometimes I get this itch to find it again and show it my true power, so to speak.” Mostly just the goat, it almost seemed like his ‘siblings’ were just tagalongs at that point, with him being the douchy mastermind behind it all. How you'd love to trounce that asshole after what he did to you.
Also, true power. Ugh, you should have asked Discord about the whole ‘essence’ thing, got to remember to do that.
“Well, if you do run into him again, then you should. Anypony who’d even try to hurt you deserves to be punished! He was lucky I wasn’t around. If I was, I’d have called on Randolph to beat him down. He knows a ton of pony martial arts, you know?” Diamond said, looking rather snooty as she raised her head high.
“Isn’t Randolph, like, really old? I’m surprised he’s still working for you all.” You commented. You remembered the old butler pony. He seemed pretty spry, but god he looked ancient.
“Randolph? Yeah, he’s happy working for us. I can always count on him for anything if I ask for it, and that includes beating down chimeras. Of course, now that I’m your future wife, I have been doing some personal training in secret to get better at fighting too.” Diamond said, looking to you with a sly smile “In fact, I think I’ll be as good as you really soon.”
Wut? Ha! “You’ve been training in secret? What happened to not keeping secrets then?”
“Well, erm, I’ve been keeping this one before we made that deal. But since we’re in a dangerous forest, I thought now would be a good time to let you know I’ve been doing it.” Diamond said, her voice a little shaky from being called out. She was just a child, after all, it was going to be hard at her age to keep that kind of promise. Hell, it’s still hard for you to keep that promise.
Diamond looks around as the forest began to become ever denser and more mysterious. She noticed an old and fallen log and broke off from you to rush towards it. “In fact, let me show you just how much I learned.” She stops at the log, and turns to you as she points at it. “See this log?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
“Well, watch and be amazed, Anon, as I totally chop it in two!” Diamond stepped back, and wiggled her cute little butt as she prepped her right hind leg. Then, with a shrieking yell, she brings her hoof down on it and stomps through it rather than cutting it in half. The log was evidently old and already crumbling, so it was no surprise that she was able to break right through it. “There, see? Slammed right through it!”
You smirk at her as you let out a small chuckle. “I thought you were gonna chop it in two?”
Diamond suddenly puffed up some as she looked at you with discontent, she then turned her head away as she let out a ‘Hmph’. “Well, that isn’t what I said. Besides, you should be impressed that I’m that good. How would you like it if I laughed at you like that.” While Diamond was looking away, she suddenly hears a growl. Hearing this, she looks back at you with angrier eyes. “Hey! What are you getting mad about? You’re the one insulting my skills!”
Uhhh… “Diamond, what are you talking about? I didn’t think your skills were that bad.”
“Not that bad?!” Diamond felt really insulted. “I slammed right through that thing! You should be-” But she’s stopped again when she hears growling closer to her ears, causing them to flinch. She looks to you and sees you aren’t even moving your mouth. “A-Anon?”
You had caught the growl that time too. A monster? Wasting no time, you call out to Diamond to get behind you. Unfortunately, she was frozen with fear as glowing green eyes began to appear from behind the log. Goddammit, were those Timberwolves?! Shit, you haven’t run into those guys yet. You rush over to Diamond and push her to the side right when one of the Timberwolves, five in total, pounces over the log to take down its prey. You don’t get pinned, but you get sent sliding back a couple feet as some of the Timberwolves’ attention returns to Diamond. The one who hit you slowly coming towards you with a low growl.
“ANON! HELP!” Diamond screams out as the Timberwolves drew near.
Goddammit, stupid shits. You weren’t hit too bad, but you noticed a small set of claw marks on your side as it slowly began to bleed. Little shits, how dare they! “Oh, you bastards, you messed with the wrong colt today.” You hop back up and slam your horn on your head. “Timberwolves, huh? Well, you know what they say. Every tree must fall eventually…” And with that, you summon up a giant woodcutter’s axe and decimate the Timberwolf in front of you with a hundred chops within less than a second, not even giving it a chance to react. You then look to Diamond, and call out to her. “Diamond, I’m coming!” You shout out as you use your magic to hurl your mighty axe at the rest of the beasts. In one mighty throw, you manage to slice them all up by throwing the axe in a way to make it spin at a mindblowing rate. Once you succeeded with your attack, you rushed up to Diamond to see if she was alright. “Diamond, Diamond are you o-WAIT DIAMGAHHH!” But as you drew closer, Diamond suddenly raised her hoof and brought it straight down on your head in a chopping motion. It didn't really hurt, just sort of surprised you. She had her eyes closed, so she must have thought you were a Timberwolf, and tried chopping it herself. ”Ahh? Hah… Diamond, um, it’s over, you can open your eyes.”
“What?” Diamond slowly opened her eyes, but when she looked at you, she closed them again and began to really shake. “A-A-Anon…”
The hell? Why was she spooked? “Diamond? What’s wrong?”
“B-b-behind you.” She whimpered as she pointed forward behind you.
You suddenly hear an angrier and much more bloodthirsty growl. You freeze up as your ears twitch. You slowly turn around, and see that the Timberwolves you sliced up didn’t die. No, they had all quickly formed into a giant Timberwolf, eight times your size, and took advantage of your worry of Diamond to pull off their fusion. “Well then…” Was all you could say as the Timberwolf prepared to smash you into a pulp.
“Anon!” Diamond suddenly sprung into action the moment she knew you were in mortal danger. Though, instead of diving into you to get you out of the way, she turns and bucks you right in the ass, making you fall on your face and into the dirt, right under the Timberwolf. She must have thought she could send you over it or something with a strong buck. This, unfortunately, would also turn out to be a mistake for Diamond as the Timberwolf immediately turned its attention to the next available prey… Her. “GAAAHHH! ANON! HELP!”
God fucking dammit. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! HOW COULD YOU BE HAVING TROUBLE WITH TIMBERWOLVES?! IT IS A LOW TIER PIECE OF SHIT THAT DOESN’T COMPARE TO YOU AND YOUR POWER. FUCK, IT DOESN’T COMPARE TO THE AVERAGE EARTH PONY! AND HERE YOU WERE, GETTING YOUR SHIT KICKED IN FOR NO REASON! EVEN WORSE, HE DARES TRIES TO STRIKE THE PONY YOU PLAN TO CUDDLE AND SNUGGLE WITH?! TO HAVE LITTLE ANONS WITH?! FUCK NO!
With a burning fury, you immediately let loose a gigantic explosive flame from under you. Your horn synchronizes with your anger, creating gigantic and sweltering fire that immediately consumes the Timberwolf. However, before it could burn up into nothingness, it uses whatever surviving sticks it has and splits into five Timberwolf midgets that scamper back into the forest.
“YEAH! AND DON’T COME BACK! YOU HEAR ME?! OR I’M GONNA BURN DOWN THIS ENTIRE FOREST! YEAAAAAAAAAAH!” HAHA! You fucking did it! You kicked that asshole to the curb without the need of no fancy smancy essence. You didn’t feel it come upon you or anything, that was alllll you. Oh yeah! “Did you see that, Diamond?! Pure chaotic power, baby! Groove with me, come on now!” Fuck yeah! You started to dance in place over your momentous victory.
“Anon! You’re on fire!” Diamond called out to you
“Baby, I know it!” You tell her as you continue your groove.
“No, Anon, your mane is literally LITERALLY on fire!” She yells back at you.
Wut? You stop your groove and shift your eyes just slightly upwards to see embers of flames flying about. This, on top of the now burning pain on top of your noggin, let you know you were indeed on fire. “Well, will you look at that, I am on fire… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You scream out as you run around in circles in a panic.
“Anon!” Diamond said in shock as she witnessed you run around in blazing pain. She quickly darted her eyes around to find something to help you. She then notices your saddlebag. She moves in close and waits for you to run by to snag your bag with a hard tug, she then quickly opens it and waits for you to pass again. Once you do, she quickly tries to get the bag to cover your head and take out the flame. Instead, she ends up burying you in bits from the magical space within as your Starlight Hook and Chaos Wings plops on top of the pile. It at least put the flame out… “Anon? A-are you ok?”
You slowly peer your head out, drunk from shock and dizziness as you look to Diamond with a goofy smile. “I feel like a million bits” You tell her, with your head then hanging back from near unconsciousness.
“W-well, at least he’s ok.” Diamond tries to reassure herself as she then begins the process of snapping you back to reality.
Christ, the Everfree, as you both went deeper, you really started to learn why everyone stayed out of the deeper portions of it. You had to slap down flyders, blast through a cragodile, but worst of all was when you got eaten by a gigantic plant. You had to think fast in escaping it, and as it turned out, making yourself extremely spicy caused it to spit you out in a glob of Mother Nature’s spit. Even worse, the spell you cast to get it off you caused all of your coat and mane to fly off with it. The only way it seemed that you were going to get it back was to use water to have it grow at a decent but embarrassing pace. At the point you are at now, both of you were close to Chrysalis, and only some of your coat and very little of your mane has grown in so far, making you look like a half bald weirdo. And boy, did it make you sour.
“Anon, you don’t look that bad.” Diamond said as she stepped alongside you “Erm, at least it’s growing back.”
“Egghh…” You muttered as you just focused on the map, not doing a good job of hiding your mood.
“Come on, I only laughed once. It, well, it… Mnnn…” Diamond sighed and looked away for a moment, then looked back to you as she thought of something to say. “Are you saying you wouldn’t laugh if, say, Snips and Snails ended up like that?”
“Egh… Maybe, I dunno.” You stop to tap at your head. Your mane was still coming in, you could feel it, but it just wasn’t there yet. Your coat, it still felt rather thin and you could see patches of your skin through it. “I guess?”
“You totally would! Because it would be funny! Also, I still think you look good, so that should be the most important thing, right?” Diamond said, doing her best to cheer you up.
“No, having magic that just works would be nice right now. It either works too well or not the way I want it to. I swear Dad has it rigged to do this to me at times, because he never has any problems with his magic ever.” You say with a groan. Hell, looking at the map, you could already tell Chrysalis was going to mock you so hard for this since it looked like you were going to reach her before the spell completes. You couldn’t just dawdle either, lest another creepy crawly decides to show up.
“Well… I have noticed that your magic works really weird and stuff. But, uh, since you’re growing your coat and mane back like a plant, wouldn’t using something to make it grow faster help?” Diamond suggested.
“Something to help it grow faster? Huh…” Yeah, there was some merit to that. Actually, why couldn’t you do that? It’d be something Discord might do, so it has to work. “Y’know, Diamond, I think that might work. Good thinking.” You compliment her as you slap your horn on your head. All you had to do was think of some miracle grow or some other spray to help things along and you’d be golden.
Diamond beamed a big smile, feeling great to be of use, while feeling a little arrogant at the same time. “Of course. You gotta remember, Anon, that I’m high class. Therefore, I totally have a higher way of thinking. In fact, chaos doesn’t seem that tough, I bet I could handle casting a spell or two if that’s all it takes to use it.”
Diamond, using the horn? That’s a scary thought, especially if she had any schemes that involved you and her getting closer than you already are. Hell, in that case, you two would probably end up stuck to one another in the literal sense. “Heh, it takes more than smart thinking to use this horn, Diamond. You gotta have pizzazz. You always gotta think outside the box, have a good knowledge of puns and punchlines, and never ever think of the most straightforward solution to a problem, because it never works. For example, the way I’m growing my hair back is already chaos worthy, but with your method mixed with my knowledge of plants, I can make it grow to an instant with… That isn’t miraclsDGDGFSD” And so, you summoned up a pile of fertilizer right above you, which then fell right upon you.
“U-ummm, Anon?” Diamond backed off a little as the smell immediately began to spread from the pile, while also making her rethink her decision on wanting to use chaos magic. “A-are you ok?”
You pull yourself from the pile, fully restored, and full of stink, the smell itself overwhelming you as you come out in a deluded stupor. “I swear to god, when I get my hands on McFly, I’m gonna break him in two.”
“Anon? Who’s Mcfly?” Diamond asked before her face scrunched up from the smell. “Ewww, ohh, that’s reaaallllyyy bad.”
McFly? OH wait, this wasn’t ‘Back to the Future’. “Huh? Oh, oh geez… OH, oof. That’s bad. Hold on!” Ugh, it was literal crap. God, it smelled like shit, and it was all over you. You use your horn one last time, causing your coat to fuzz up instantly from a touch of a single drop of soap that appeared over your head. You smelled lemony. Hell, another droplet fell upon the pile of fertilizer, turning it into a giant lemon.
Diamond then began to giggle. “Hahahaha! Anon, you look ridiculous EEK!” And upon reflex of wanting some revenge, you force one more droplet to appear and fall onto Diamond, making her coat clean as it puff up in the form of a ball.
“You’re right, you do look ridiculous! Hah!” You let out a laugh of your own, chuckling at how goofy she looked.
“Ok ok, I get it.” Diamond rolled her eyes at you, then chuckled a little “I feel really clean though. But how do we get our coats back to normal?”
“This should be more simple, just summon some brushes and…” With that, you made all sorts of brushes and combs appear to fix both you and Diamond up proper. Ah, that was a hell of a chaotic combo right there. And fuck, now you both looked snazzier than ever before, almost shiny even. You didn’t know what you were going to do with that lemon though, probably just good to leave it.
You both continued on your trek, already close to your destination within the deeper parts of the forest.
And then, there she was. Or rather, you both could hear her faintly behind some bushes. Fucking finally, the time has come.
“A-Anon, is that her?” Diamond asked as she felt a tad jittery. She looked upon the bush, feeling nervous about looking through it.
“Sounds like it. Diamond, look…” You sigh, god, this was really it. This had to go well, and so, Diamond had to be as prepared as you were. Chrysalis was crafty and still very against the idea of reforming, so you were going to need Diamond to back you up, as a ‘wife’ would. “This isn’t Nymous. Well, it is Nymous, but this is the actual her. She can be very mean, and she’s very cunning. You have to stand your ground with her, and not be afraid of her, alright?”
Diamond looks to you, and there was a sign of hesitation. But then she nodded and looked back to the bush with determination. “Alright. Besides, I think we understand each other enough. I think things will go well, like, perfectly.”
“Alright then…” You approach the bush and slowly peered through it to find out what was going on. Chrysalis was talking, yeah, but to who? No one had been answering her, and it was kind of hard to catch what she was talking about at all as she randomly went from near whispers to vengeful yelling. “Let’s see what’s going on first.” Huh, wut? Was she…
“...And once I have perfected the spell, I’ll have an Anon who is wil-Hm?” Chrysalis seemed to be talking to a… Painted rock with a changeling on it. Oh man, poor Chryssy, you didn’t realize she had gone down that hard. No wonder she wanted you dead, she really wasn’t thinking too rationally. And what was she talking about? You had no clue. However, the moment she heard a sound, she quickly ducked into the brush ahead of her.
“Anon? What happened? Where did she go?” Diamond asked.
You stop to look at your map. Aha, just as you thought. She was circling around to give the ole villainous jumpscare. “She’s coming around behind us. She’s going to try to spook us or maybe even attack us. Don’t worry, ok? She probably doesn’t even know it’s us, so she’ll probably stop the moment she knows we're here.”
“I get it, she’s just making sure she doesn’t get jumped. Makes sense.” Diamond said, understanding the situation.
“Yup, and she’ll be coming up on us in three, two…” And before you could even say one, Chrysalis, in the form of one of the smaller drone bugs from Starship Troopers, pops out with a hiss. It still manages to spook Diamond into jumping into the bushes, but you yourself just stand there, ready to greet her.
“WHO DARES COMES UPON MY LAIR?!” Chrysalis cries out in a voice most horrid.
“Hey, Chrysalis, what’s up?” You say with a cheery look, waving to her.
In an instant, Chrysalis’s form reverts to normal as she just looks upon you with confusion. She shifts her eyes left and right before letting them fall upon you again. “Anon? What? What are you doing- Oh no…” She then lets out a groan as she hangs her head low. “Please tell me you're seriously not here to try to reform me. I can just feel those emotions coming off of you. A little early, don’t you think? I’d have preferred a movie, or perhaps you willing to give my side of things a chance by at least helping me annihilate one princess.”
“Hello to you too, Chrysalis. And yeah, I’ve come to give it a shot. The ‘game’ and all that. You doing alright? I’ve been worried, y’know?” You tell her, being sincere in your words.
“Humph! Save your sentiments for your pony friends! You know where I’ve been! You know HOW I’ve been! Hiding here in this forest, my children taken away from me, having to plot on my own on how best to destroy Celestia for what she has done! You’re a fool to come here, Anon, I doubt you even came up with your own scheme to sway me.” Chrysalis said as she walked past you, back to her ‘lair’. You just looked back at her and looked at what it looked like. Well, besides some big ass leaves for rain protection and some painted on rocks, it really wasn’t anything else.
“Chrysalis, it’s not just about scheming, ok? Geez, can’t it also be me wanting to have a friendly visit with my friend? My friend being you? Why do you always gotta make it sound like an evil plot?” Like, seriously, it was such a one dimensional way of thinking.
“Fine, it’s a 'friendly visit', whoopty doo.” Chrysalis says with an eyeroll before plopping her butt on the ground. “So what does my good friend, Anon, want? Aside from wanting to reform me.” She says in a sarcastic tone.
“Like I said, I want to make sure you’re ok. I can… I dunno.” You look around as you slide your hoof along your horn. “Spruce this place up, actually make it a lair. Would you like that?”
Chrysalis doesn’t say anything at first, even looking away from you for a moment before saying, in an almost subdued way. “Yes, I’d like that. But I won’t owe you anything, understand?”
Well, that’s a good start. You look back at the bushes and see Diamond just observing. Seems she was waiting for her time to pop out to say hi. You give her a nod, to let her know things are fine, and that Chrysalis wasn’t going to hurt her. You then put on your horn and work your magic as a ton of tools appear and immediately start turning the surrounding area into a small home. Within a moment, you were in a single room building. The room was large enough to accommodate a very soft looking bed, some lights, a work table, and just for her, a TV with an mp4 player that had the movies she already watched, preloaded with Kill Bill volume 1 and 2 snuck in as well. Hell, it had to do with a killer bride, she was sure to love it. “There we are, nice and basic, perfect for customizing. This alright?” You ask her. “Even gave you a way to watch your favorite documentaries.”
“Hmmm…” Chrysalis walked over to the bed and gave it a simple push with her hoof. “Adequate, much better than what I had previously. Good to know that you still know how to treat your qu-WHAT?!” But when Chrysalis looks back at you, she could see Diamond was sitting right there behind you, the bush gone due to the work the magical tools had performed.
Diamond, knowing she got spotted, just nervously smiled and waved towards Chrysalis. “H-hi. I-I’m Diamond T-tiara, you remember me, r-right?”
Your eyes go wide when you realized what was going on. Sure, this is what you were expecting anyway. But dayum, it already seemed like it was a mistake.
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at you as she slowly and menacingly stepped closer. “What is the meaning of this, Anon?”
“Woah, woah! Relax!” Dammit, take control of the situation, Anon. It’s now or never!... Fuck, but you didn’t really have too much of a speech prepared. Better improvise. “We came together to see you, Chrysalis. Remember how I said she cared about you? Well, she also wanted to make sure you were ok. You can sense that, can’t you?”
“H-he’s right.” Diamond said, daring to step closer as she joined you at your side. “I know you were Nymous, I know you say you’re evil and stuff. B-but, you still did a lot for me, and brought me closer to Anon. So of course I wanted to make sure you were ok too.”
Chrysalis just stayed silent for a moment, then she backed off just a tad before turning around and hopping on her bed, aggravated with the fact she could in fact sense Diamond’s love. “Well, this is different. I guess you were really telling the truth, how bothersome.”
“Why is it bothersome?” Diamond asked “Shouldn’t you be happy that we care about you?”
“I’m not.” Chrysalis says as she rolls onto her back and looks up at the ceiling. “If only because I actually have to consider not using you as food. Why are you even here? This is between me and him.”
“Because I wanted to see you. Because I felt bad that you didn’t stay for my ‘not real’ wedding because other ponies wouldn’t have accepted you.” Diamond explains to her, trying to appeal to her better nature.
“I didn’t stay because I didn’t want to stay. Why should I care about a false wedding? It’s not like it matters.” Chrysalis says, just blankly staring at the ceiling as she does so.
“But it does! Hmph…” Diamond says, suddenly becoming more brazen as she steps closer to Chrysalis. “You know, I was a schemer too. I wanted to torment the Cutie Mark Crusaders just because I felt I was better than them. I thought it’d make me feel better to crush their hopes since my mother used to crush mine! But then, thanks to the crusaders, I changed, and I’m happy about it.”
“And? What does that have to do with your ‘wedding’?” Chrysalis asked, her tone mocking.
“Because to me, you’re my sister, or at least a really good friend. And I would have shown them all that you are worth caring about! That deep in your heart, that you’re as good and caring as Anon. If all your children are good and nice, then you’re probably the best of them all!” Diamond said, standing tall as she poured her heart out on Chrysalis.
Chrysalis’s eyes glowed a furious green for a moment before she got out of bed and furiously stomped over to Diamond. “The best of them?! You think those traitors are worth caring about at all?! Let me tell you something, you naive thing. Princess Celestia and that traitor, Thorax, brought about the end of my hive and my rule! They tricked Anon, who I don’t blame because he’s an idiot, and corrupted my changeling children with their ‘friendship’ and ‘love’! You, who have lived a privileged life, can never EVER understand what was taken from me. And you…” Chrysalis then turned to you as Diamond fell back, shocked from Chrysalis’s outburst. “I need you to tell me if I still look good. Although I can transform, nothing will ever beat my magnificent figure and I wish to keep it that way.”
Wut? “Chrysalis!” You bark at her in defense of Diamond. “You insult my marefriend and then you ask that?! What’s wrong with you?!”
“Oh, betrayal, having to survive in a forest, my children being gone, I’m sure I’ve been over this. Plus, I didn’t want to have to say the same thing twice. Anon, you are, without a doubt, the most privileged out of anypony, even me. Plucked from your old life to a life where you are automatically loved, given power that can defeat alicorns, gained the love of a female without any effort, and treated as a grand hero without even really trying. Not to mention gaining a powerful family in both an element and spirit of chaos.” Chrysalis walks past the both of you, feeling rather smug in her retort “Really, your only downside is how easily manipulated you are. Not just by me, but by everypony else. And, little Diamond, don’t feel insulted, you just don’t fathom the inner rage I have deep inside. It’s not unlike the hatred all ponies have for me, the feelings are merely mutual, that’s all.”
“But I don’t hate you. And…” Diamond actually did feel hurt from her words, and it was true she couldn’t truly understand how she felt. But she also knew, due to the hatred she herself used to carry, that not everything Chrysalis was saying was factual. “The only reason anypony does is because of things you did in the past. Look at your children, they were hated too, right? Look, maybe they did become sissys, but they were also forgiven for what they did. Don’t you think you can be forgiven too? Nopony was taken from you, they were just shown a better way! Just like me!” Diamond stood tall, trying to brave things out, trying to convince Chrysalis there was a way.
“Aren’t you listening?! I HATE PONIES!” Chrysalis turned back around, and looked to Diamond with furious anger. “And what makes you think they’d forgive me? Hmm? I am evil incarnate! And just to prove it, I’ll make you my first meal of the day!” Chrysalis began to open her mouth. SHIT!
You reached for your horn to stop her. Dammit, you didn’t want to do it, but you had to! But, when you looked to Diamond, you could see her shaking her head at you, staying determined rather than frightened. She then lets out a sharp “Anon, don’t!”. What?! You shout at her that you had to, but again she told you don’t. And within that span of time, you had noticed… Chrysalis wasn’t going further. Diamond then looked to her, and nodded. Indeed, Chrysalis had not actually even begun to drain her. “...I knew you wouldn’t do it.”
Chrysalis closes her mouth and then looks to Diamond, confused, and a tad subdued. “And how could you be so sure? How do you know I didn’t just realize Anon would use his powers on me? Hm?”
“Because you wanted him to. Pllleeeeease.” Diamond said in a mocking tone, looking to Chrysalis with a smirk. “You think I can’t tell when somepony like you is faking it? My mother totally taught me how to catch on to stuff like that. You act too much like an upper class pony, just like me. You’re too obvious.”
“OBVIOUS?! I AM THE QUEEN OF THE CHANGELINGS! I CAN BE ANYTHING I WANT AT ANYTIME! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! BY WHAT LOGIC ARE YOU USING TO EVEN THINK I’D WANT TO BE ATTACKED! TELL ME!” Chrysalis did not like that insult at all. And what the fuck?! The hell was Diamond doing? She just shifted from disheartened to commandeering in an instant. What did she catch on to that you didn’t?
“Easy. You were getting totally frustrated. So frustrated that you probably just thought it’d be easier to make us hate you, that way you could just feel the way you wanna feel. Creatures of refinement, like us, do our best to stay composed and diligent to make sure our peers don’t get one over on us. So it makes it pretty easy to pick up on a few tells on something like, say, wanting a specific reaction. Plus, we all know that Anon’s dad was forgiven twice. You may be evil incarnate, but Tirek and Discord did almost ruin and rule all of Equestria. So if he can be forgiven, so can you.” Diamond tone was smug, looking to Chrysalis with an accomplished smirk.
Chrysalis lowered her head to about Diamond’s level, looking to her with narrowing eyes. “...Discord was betrayed BY Tirek.”
Diamond looks back to her, growing ever confident. “That doesn’t change the fact that he betrayed everypony else first. I also don’t hear you saying I’m wrong about wanting to be attacked.”
Chrysalis wrenched back in surprise. She was silent, thinking, defeated even? Chrysalis looks at you, then back to Diamond and narrows her eyes at her once again. “You little… I only have one thing to say to you.”
“And what’s that?” Diamond asked, ready for anything.
Chrysalis beckoned her closer, then began to whisper in her ear. During this, Diamond began to blush, look at you, then go back to listening before letting out. “Does he really?!”
Chrysalis nodded “Yes, he’s rather soft that way.”
Wut? “Uhhhhhh, what just happened?! Are, what?! What are you guys even… Are you guys talking about me?!”
“Yes, Anon, we’re talking about you. But it’s private girl talk, so don’t worry about it.” Chrysalis said as she waved her hoof at you dismissively.
“What?! What even happened then?! Anypony want to explain it to me?!" Just, wut?!
“Oh, well, Chrysalis says she’s willing to give it a shot if you can stop her next big evil scheme. That sounds fair to me, what about you?” Diamond said, seeming rather content about the whole thing.
“What about WHAT?! No! I just went through the trouble of getting ALL the princesses, including Twilight AND Celestia, to give her a chance and get this whole thing settled painlessly. As in, so my good friend can stop being vengeful and evil and live a good life and have her children back and everything! And you just want to let her do something incredibly evil?! How does that make sense?” Like, god… WHAT?! “And what about that stuff about me?!”
“Like I said, Anon, girl talk. And who cares what you did to make my life ‘easier’, as if I’d EVER just accept those pin headed princesses to just ‘accept’ me. And, at this point, your marefriend is right, I am frustrated. The game was fun for awhile, but this back and forth with no progress has become oh so tiresome. So, I propose just letting me hatch my plot, and in return, I’ll give what you want, a chance anyway. How could you refuse such a proposal? I’m even letting you deal with me personally, you should be able to stop me with all that power. What, are you afraid you can’t?” Chrysalis said boredly, as she began to take a gander at the TV.
Your eye twitched. THE WUTTEST WUT?! “Are you insane?! Do you think they’ll want to forgive you after you try to do something evil yet again?!”
“Bla bla, Discord forgiven, yadda yadda. You’re beginning to bore me, Anon. Tell me something interesting instead, like starships. Do you think I could have one right now? It would make things fair since I’d eventually have to go against you anyway.” Chrysalis says, mockingly, she knew she wouldn’t get it.
“No… Geez, are we… Are we really doing this? Are you kidding me?!” Like, what the fuck!
“Anon, we have to. It’s not like it should be hard for you, you should be able to stop Chrysalis no problem. And then we can help her.” Diamond said, enthusiastic about the whole thing.
Chrysalis chuckled evilly and jovially “Yes, Anon, it should be easy. So what are you worried about?”
“G-guh, I just… I…Ughhhhhhhhh.” You nearly fall over. Holy shit, you were really doing this. “Seriously? Fine, but you better hold up your end of the bargain!”
“I will, you can even tell the princesses if you want. You can stack the odds against me however you wish, Anon.” Chrysalis says with a giggle as she approached you, and plucked a hair from your mane. She looked at it intently before giving you an evil sneer “But I swear to you, you’ll be stacking those odds both ways.”
Even tell the princesses? The hell was she on? WAIT! Unless! HAHA! You can read her too. “Ah, ahaha! I see what’s going on. You’re just setting yourself up to lose anyway just because you still feel that being hated would be better than being loved! I’m on to you, Chrysalis, and I’ll make sure you know exactly how loved you really are.” Ok, maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
“Sure, whatever you say. In any case, I have suddenly become very busy, and want you both to leave. Ah, but before you do.” Chrysalis looks back over at Diamond, and gives her a gentle head pat. “Remember what I told you, Diamond. I’m sure it will do you well.”
Diamond nodded, very pleased with whatever that was. “I will. Thank you, Nymo-, I mean Chrysalis.”
Chrysalis visibly flinched from that, but then composed herself just as quick. She did thank you, as well, for the new ‘lair’. Other than that, she was rather adamant that you both leave. You were sure you had things figured out, and so you let Chrysalis know that you had her that time, something she still dismissed. Whatever, you had it. Using your magic, you teleport you and Diamond back to the manor, a feat you knew would be easier since it was clear, in your memory, didn’t shift locations, and was in a relatively safe spot.
You also never did figure out what you would do with that lemon.
Teleporting back to the front door of the Rich Manor, you let out a cheer, feeling you have Chrysalis all figured out. “Haha! Diamond, we really did it! You really did it! You’re amazing!” You cheer as you give her a hug and spin her around for a bit. “She’s going to do some half hearted evil plan! She’s giving up! Yeeeeeeeeeeesss! Finally!”
“Anon! I’m… wait.” At first Diamond was ecstatic for the praise, up until you mentioned that last part. “She’s not gonna slack on her plan, she’s going full on evil, she told me she was, and I could tell she was.”
“....” WUT?! “Wait, what?! She can’t! Why would she tell me to warn the princesses then?!”
“I dunno, she didn’t actually tell me what the plan was. But I guess she felt with you explaining things, that the fallout wouldn’t be as bad if the princesses knew ahead of time, kind of like a game.” Diamond guessed, pondering on it for a moment before looking to you with bedroom eyes, not saying another word.
“Oh geez! Chrysalis, why do you gott-wha? Diamond?” You looked at her, confused, and with that look, a little subdued. “You ok?”
Diamond giggles a little, then gave you a lick along your neck. “Anon, how about we get on my bed right now and do the horizontal waltz.”
“the horiz-GYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAH!” WHAT IN THE FUCK?! DID SHE JUST?! HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID THAT SUDDENLY COME FROM?! DING DING DING! Your entire body turns red as steam exhausts from your nose, a loud whistle like sound being blasted out. That was it! HOLY SHIT! WHEN DID SHE…?! Your eyes roll back inside your head as you fall over to your side.
“Wow, Chrysalis was right, it really did knock you out.” Diamond said, confused, but delighted as she tugs on your leg. “I don’t even know what that means, but looking at your reaction, I bet it’s a lot of fun!”
Your eye began to twitch at that, holy shit, she didn’t even realize what it meant?! Chrysalis, you bitch! She outplayed you again! How could this situation get any worse?! How were you going to talk her out of this?!
And with that thought, the door opened, with Filthy Rich at the other side of it looking around for something. “Now what was that noise? Coulda sworn ah heard a train roll- Oh, well hello there, my little darlin’, what are… Anon? Why are you on the ground like that? It’s dirty down there, son.”
SDRGSDFGDFGDFGS OH GOD, IT GOT WORSE! You stand up, going red to white, as you greet Mr. Rich. “MR. RICH! HI, HOW ARE YOU?!”
“Anon, ya don’t have to shout. Huh, what’s goin on here? Did any of you hear a train?” Filthy said as he looked around again, up until an idea suddenly hit him, causing him to chuckle. “Ah, never mind. Ah bet it was just Anon impressin’ again with that magic. Ain’t that right, son? You know you ain’t gotta wow her everytime. You’re gonna ruin the romanticisms that way.”
“Oh, he wasn’t using his magic, Daddy. I was just asking him about the horizontal waltz.” Diamond said. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
“Oh, is that all? Ah thought it was something like-” But then something clicked in Filthy’s head, making him bug out, his mane suddenly exploding outwards as he yelled out. “ASKING ABOUT WHAT NOW?! DIAMOND, WHERE DID YA HEAR SUCH A THING?!”
“U-uhmm…” Diamond, not only surprised that she had to come up with a lie on the spot, was also surprised by her father’s reaction. She couldn't let him know about Chrysalis. “A-a pony from out of town, who lives very very far away told me about it. I-is there a problem? Do you know what the horizontal waltz is?”
Filthy’s eye twitched, he was losing it, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and he also knew he couldn’t shatter her innocence lest everything he ever did as a father falls apart. He gulped, then looked to you, half accusingly and half hoping you didn’t know jack shit about this. “E-erm, well, that’s a matter if Anon here knows what that is. But ya don’t, do ya, son?”
OH GOD, NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW! NOT EVEN DISCORD! GAAAAAAH! WHAT DO YOU SAY?! SHIT! YOU ONLY HAD ONE WAY OUT OF THIS! LIIIEEEEE! “U-um, well, that is like, a pegasus dance, right? Where you dance vertically in the air? I mean, I could do it with my horn if I shift gravity, then we could waltz together in mid air. S-seems impractical, b-but yeah, sounds about right.” Oh god, please don’t let him kill you.
But Filthy wasn’t going to kill you, as he assumed you really didn’t know what it was either. Hearing your words, he immediately uses them to his own advantage to steer his daughter away from such a notion. “T-that’s right, Anon, that’s exactly what it is. S-so you see, darlin’, it ain’t really nothin’ to think about, and especially ask yer mother about. It’s just another way to waltz we earth ponies can’t even do.”
“Really? Huh, I guess. But then why does it sound like it’d be more intimate a-” But before Diamond can say her words, Filthy suddenly cuts her off as he opens the door wide.
“Well, will ya look at the time. Sorry, darlin’, but today I’m gonna have to give ya a few extra business type lessons. Say goodbye to Anon, ahm sure he’s got very important things to do. Right, son?” Filthy really didn’t want to be rude to you, but this sudden development caused him to want to get this out of his daughter’s head as soon as possible. And although he didn’t know that you ACTUALLY knew what the horizontal waltz was, he winked at you just the same to just get you to leave without it seeming too rude or sudden. And, oh yeah, you got the damn hint and wanted to be out of there anyway.
“Um, yes! Yes I do, gotta actually talk to, er, Princess Twilight about… Something… Important.” Oh, please, please… You could feel your soul crumbling, thank god it wasn’t Spoiled who stepped through that door, you’d already be dead.
“OH! That’s right, you do! But uhm, Daddy…” Diamond said with a whine. “Do I really have to? I want to hang out with Anon a little more, maybe see how the whole horizontal waltz thing feels.”
Both you and Filthy’s eye twitched at the same time of both of you hearing that, his tie having a life of it's own as it nearly flies off. Holy christ! Again, thank god Filthy was more understanding and ignorant of the fucking situation. “No can do, honey lamb. Rich business is important business, you have plenty of time to be with Anon tomorrow. But, er, let’s just be forgetting about any dancin’ for now and get to learnin’, ya hear?”
Diamond sighed, near defiantly, but accepted her father’s words with a slight eye roll. “I guess, ok…” She then turns to you and gives you a gentle kiss on the nose. “Ok, Anon, I gotta go. Super good luck on your mission, ok?” Diamond says with a wink.
“Y-yeah, um, good luck with your lesson!” You say with a quick and shaky kiss back “And, uh, take care, Mr. Rich. Erm, and uh… I’ll forget about the waltz thing too, seems a little complicated.”
“Yes, very complicated. A-anyway, ya take care, son.” Filthy said as he slicked his mane back and straightened his tie, which had become tilted as the conversation went on. He let Diamond into the house, took a look outside one last time, and slammed the door shut.
You fell to the ground after that, twitching, thanking every lucky star you fucking had that this didn’t fucking go nuclear. Dear lord, dear fucking lord. You knew, you just knew, that Mr. Rich was going to do his best to make her forget about it, and to especially make sure Mrs. Rich never hears about it. Because god, you could imagine you hanging on a noose next to Mr. Rich if shit really went down.
And although you should find Twilight and tell her the news. You had free time now, enough time to go and personally check out your ‘admirers’. But, Anon, just remember. No matter how cute they might actually be, you must stand firm, this entire quest is just meant to see what this yak and hippogriff were all about.
God, oh god, as you venture back towards the denser part of town, you thanked god and whatever horse gods there may be that the situation didn’t become a gigantic disaster. You actually had to take a moment to find a bench and lay down to get your mind off of things. “Christ, just… Ok, Anon. Finally, you’re alone, things are fine, things are going to be definitely fine." Yep, nah, things are good, why are you even upset? Especially when you had something else to focus on. You had some ‘students’ to find. But first, since you're catching your breath…
“Discord, yo, Discord.” You put a hoof to your ear and start calling for the daffy draconequus using your codec “You there?”
“Ah, Anon, how are things? Hmm, you sound rather exhausted.” Discord said
“I am, ummm… Look, I went to see Chrysalis, and I got some news.” You tell him. You might as well tell him, make sure you got defenses at every front just in case something happens. Hell, even Starswirl had your back, how could things go bad?
“News? Well, before you tell me anything, let me give you a few updates of my own. One, Fluttershy would love to see you in a barbarian outfit. After explaining most of our adventure in Hyrule, she became rather enamored in wanting to see her ‘hero colt’ in an ‘adorable’ costume. Don’t ask me why, she just has a thing for you looking adorable. Next update, well, actually, that was all the updates. So the only thing I really have to add is that somehow, even after all that training with Rainbow Dash, you seem terribly out of shape. You could join a buckball team, you know? Not like we don’t have a player in the family that could whip you into something better.” Discord told you with a bit of a mischievous chuckle.
“Dammit, Discord! I don’t need any more training and I don’t need to join some junior buckball league. You think Fluttershy is good? I’d fucking annihilate the opposition, no problem.” You bark back, but all you could hear was heavy laughter after you said that. Ugh, goddammit, you didn’t need to take this. “You don’t know shit, ok?! Shut up! I got important stuff to tell you anyway!”
“Yes, yes, Chrysalis is probably going to pull off some ‘big plot’ before she’s ready to actually try to live among ponies. I get it, can I go back to laughing at your silly comment now?” Discord said, annoyed.
“What?! How did you know that?! Were you eavesdropping or something?!” You said in surprise.
“Didn’t care to. Look, villain one-oh-one isn’t just a trope. Do you think anypony of any status would just give up when the end is near? No, we just up the ante and see whether we win or lose. I almost got away with it until it turned out I simply cared too much. If you think about it, Applejack is so stubborn that she’d try to pull a big anything before giving in. She’d done something like that before, hasn’t she? Even breaking one of those ‘Pinkie Promises’, if I heard correctly. Anyway, I don’t need to watch the show, you know? The way Fluttershy tells stories is much more entertaining.” Discord explains.
The fuck was he even talking about? “Fuck off, Discord, that wasn’t even the same thing! That was just a goddamn heel turn moment and you know it! Don’t go spouting bullshit when you know that deep down you’re a goddamn kitten when it comes to her! How do you not see that?!”
“Oh, well, that’s very easy. Observe.” As Discord says that, you suddenly hear a pop above you.
“What in the wFSDFSDAFDS” And then suddenly, you were engulfed in a pile of slimy eyeballs, all blinking, like a ball pit of creepy squishy eyes. “OH GOD! THIS IS GROSS! DISCOOOOOOOORD!”
“Oh don't yell, Anon, I just wanted to SEE what you mean! Have fun, Anon!” Discord says with a hearty laugh before cutting communications.
Goddamn it! Even as you reach for your horn, you could feel the slippery sliminess of all the eyeballs piled onto you, blinking, staring. You use your magic to make them vanish from your proximity, but you were still rather shiny from all the ‘tears’ that had smeared onto your coat. “...Dammit, Discord, geez. Still can’t fucking take it, can you?”
“Well, that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen you throw exploding mail.” Said a familiar voice from the side of the bench.
“Wha?!” You look in surprise to see… Smolder? She was just standing there, weirded out by the fact that she had seen you get piled on by eyes. “S-Smolder? W-what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in school or something?”
Smolder shrugged “I am, sorta. Class is on an assignment. Professor Pinkie wants us to say hi to everycreature in town. I don’t really get it, but whatever. So, uh, what was all that about? Or do you just like taking ahh…” Smolder began to show a hint of disgust as she saw how gross you looked “taking random… weird… whatever… baths?”
Oh god, you must have looked gross and goofy right now. “Ugh, don’t look at me like that, this is just because of my Dad. Give me a second.” You slap on your horn one more time, and this time, make quick work of the goo on your body by using a million tiny squeegees to push the liquid into the void. “...There, a lot better.”
“And still weird.” Smolder puts her hand to her hip and points to you with the other as she lets out a gentle chuckle “But hey, uh, that’s you. Um… Woo, this is tough.” Smolder then looked away as she rubbed the back of her head. “Actually, since I ran into you and all, we’re still cool, right? That whole ‘stop everything and make it blue’ thing was really ominous and spooky. Seemed like you were really angry at me.”
“Heh, like I said before, we’re still cool.” You tell her, giving her a cool smile as you do.
“Great! Anyway, you haven’t run into Yona yet, right?” Smolder asked.
“No, I was actually gonna check out your whole class just now, but I guess you’re all walking around town. She still on the whole ‘fight the hero colt’ thing?” Heh, because you were ready to defend your title.
“She still is. I even got a bet going with this griffon named Gallus on this one. Though, if you’re gonna take her on, it’s gotta be away from Ponyville.” Smolder said as she began to look to the side, towards a road that went away from the town.
“Oh, heh, well, I can work with that. And don’t worry either, I’ll make sure you win that bet.” You tell her as you give her a wink.
“I mean, I bet against you, so if you just wanna throw the fight, that’d be ok with me.” Smolder said with a shrug.
“Yeah, I know, I’m pre-WHAT?! Why would you bet against me?! So what, this guy I don’t even know bet against Yona then?!” Like, what the fuck?! You shredded her brother, so what gives?!
“Oh, no, he bet against you too. Like I said, I got a bet going with Gallus... against Silverstream. I don’t think she even realized that it’s gonna be a headbutting contest, she just put a bet down because she has this huge thing for you.” Smolder explained.
GYAH?! WHAT?! You were stunned, just utterly stunned. What the fuck, man! You’re the prince of goddamn chaos, how could anyone bet AGAINST you at all!? “A-are you serious?! Even after what happened with your brother?! I whupped his butt like it was nothing!”
“Hey! C’mon, don’t mention that, and not so loud! Ugh…” Smolder groaned as she hung her body back “Look, I was just making the safest bet, ok? Yona shakes the entire place up when she stomps her hooves down, so, y’know, seemed like a smart bet.”
You walked up to Smolder really close and narrowed your eyes at her, you just couldn’t believe she’d bet against you. “You can’t be serious.”
“Anon, look.” Smolder very gently places her hand on your forehead and slowly pushes you back “I’ve known Yona longer than you, and it isn’t even by that much. Don’t get annoyed with me because I chose her over you, ok? She’s big, and you’re really small. Plus, this kind of thing doesn’t involve your weird horn thing, so there, ok? It’s nothing against you at all.” Smolder groaned once again as she began to rub her forehead for relief “Look, it’s not a big thing, I made a choice, that’s all. If you want, I can go find Yona and get this whole thing set up, how does that sound? That way we can see if you're really all that.”
“Yeah, go do that, I’ll be waiting inside the Colosseum by the train station.” You tell her as you pose in a strong stance.
“Aren’t they still remodeling that for the school?” Smolder asked
“Oh, er, then just meet me outside of town, that way!” You point towards another road that led out of town towards the forest path with the river on the side. “I’ll be waiting for you all there. And be prepared, because I’m totally gonna win.”
“Sheesh, Anon, calm down. It’s not that big a deal. Also, don’t let any of the professors or Headmare Twilight know. And if you see this green pony named Sandbar or Ocellus, don’t tell them about it either. They’re cool and all, but they aren’t ok with this whole thing. I don’t know why, considering Yona is dead set on this.” Smolder, it seems, was in on a secret bet between Silverstream and Gallus. Looks like you’d be able to meet Yona and Silverstream in one go too, haha! “They’d think somecreature would get hurt or that it’s wrong or something. I think it’s just settling something for Yona so she can get over it and focus on friendship stuff.”
She’s gonna be focusing on the asshurt when you’re done with her. “Sure, whatever. You’re still talking as if I’m gonna lose.”
“I gotta choose one, Anon. I’m still your friend, and I still think you’re cool. It’s nothing personal, I’m just helping another friend. Yaks have this whole pride thing going on and I just want her to relax about it, ok?” Smolder again tries to get you to relax, not seeing how this was all a big deal. "And make some gems on the side..."
“Trust me, with my head, I don’t think she won’t have much pride left when I’m done with her.” Fuck this, man. How could anyone, ANYONE, think you’d lose at a headbutting content? That was like, your bread and butter! You felt insulted, and knew you had to pull out all the stops to beat this yak.
“Wow, that’s a little dark, isn’t it? I didn’t know you were that pridef-Oh no, geez!” Smolder’s eyes go wide for a moment before she goes and slaps her face. “Nevermind, I think I just realized why Sandbar and Ocellus wouldn’t want this to happen. Oh wow, I feel bad all of a sudden. Weird, considering this kind of thing doesn’t usually bother me.”
“What are you talking about?” Serious, what was up now?
“Her pride, your pride. I just realized this will be hurting one of you pretty bad, depending on who wins. And I guess…” Smolder brings a hand to her heart and grimaces “...That’s not a thing I should let happen. Egh, yeah, I think that’s a friendship lesson I learned on my own alright. Great, now I gotta call off the bet and try to convince Yona not to fight. Dunno how I’m gonna do that one though.”
Wut? “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, uh, well, I just learned a friendship lesson on my own. Like, I just thought about it really hard and my chest started to hurt, so I guess that’s a sign. Look, Anon…” Smolder sighed as she began to apologize. “Sorry about all that, I guess I wasn’t thinking after all. You nor Yona should have your pride shattered over a silly bet or honor fight or anything like that. We gotta call this whole thing off.”
Oh, fuck that, you weren’t gonna chicken out of this one, not with something to prove. “Oh, I don’t think so. She wants to challenge me? Then I’ll take her on and prove that I’m better.”
“Anon, no, come on. Look, Yona is really sensitive, alright? And apparently so are you. She really wants to fit in at school, and has a hard time too due to being, I dunno, a yak? And I guess, since we all clicked so well, that I’d feel bad if she did lose. But considering how cool you are and how you kind of helped me even though you overdid it, well, I don’t want you to be hurt because you lost too. So, yeah, can we just call this whole thing off?” Smolder asked, really feeling the guilt build up within her.
“Nope! If she wants to prove she’s better than me, then let her. Just to let you know though, she isn’t actually going to prove it.” Because, again, unbeatable head.
“Come on!” Smolder raised her arms up, surprised as you. “I’m saying please here! Sheesh, you’re as stubborn as her. Maybe I really did make the wrong bet. Really, the only way to even salvage that one is to… Wait.” Smolder stopped herself, and then began to ponder. Were you really that strong? She couldn’t deny that despite her brother also being rather hard headed. You did indeed show him up on that front. She began to consider that you did have some chance of winning, and if that was the case, then… “Anon, look, ok, I get it. You got a really strong head, you proved that when you went against Garble. If you really think you could pull it off that much, and if you really still want to go through with it, could you at least try to make it a tie or something? That way nocreature gets hurt. Emotionally, I mean. I’ll even sweeten the deal.” And that last part she only brings up due to the pain of the guilt she felt. “If there’s anything you want, anything at all, for one time only, I’ll do it. How does that sound?”
Fuck that, what could this fucking dragon. This… Cute, er, adorable, hot… Well, she couldn’t do that… But. “So, if I, like, go easy on her, you’ll do something for me?”
Smolder was already being weirded out again, something about your sudden shifty smile you were giving her put her on edge. “Yeah? But, nothing weird, alright?”
Oh god, she had fucking hands, claws even. You look left and right for Diamond or Silver Spoon. You knew Diamond was with her father, but you still had to check. And when it comes to Silver, if she saw what you were about to ask, she’d rat you out in a second. “Ok, alright, I’ll do it.” You say as you hop back onto the bench, placing your horn on your head to make you and Smolder invisible to everyone but you and her, without her even noticing what was going on. This, you felt, would totally make sure you weren’t spotted or some rumor spread or whatever.
“Great! And woah, that was easy. So, uh, what do you want then?” Smolder asked.
You roll onto your back and expose your tummy to Smolder. “I want my tummy gently scratched.”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what?” Smolder looked around to see there was some ponies coming this way and passing by. There was, but they didn't seem to notice anything. But even then, that kind of request was super awkward to her. “Why?”
Oh god, did you really just ask for that?! OH GOD?! DID YOU REALLY WANT THIS?! YOU HAD TO HAVE THIS, JUST FUCKING ONCE! THIS WAS WORTH YOUR BATTLE PRIDE! DIAMOND, SHE HAD TO FORGIVE YOU IF SHE EVER FOUND OUT! “I just want to know what it feels like, that’s all. It’s a… I just heard somewhere dragon claws feel real nice on the belly. Like, it’s a therapy thing.”
“Yeah, but that still sounds really… Ugh, ok ok.” Smolder sighs. She thought this was really REALLY off. But if she was going to avoid another foul up, she just decided to suck it up and do it. As weird as it was, it didn’t seem outlandish or complicated. “Just don’t smack me if I accidentally scratch hard or something.” She reluctantly brought her claw down on your belly and began to gently and halfheartedly scratch along the sides of it in a circular fashion.
You begin to drool near immediately as you go limp, moaning softly as she massaged your tummy. Oh god, she was hitting everything just right! This feeling, it was the caress of gods, and it felt soooo good. You could go on like this fore- Wait, why did it suddenly stop? You look up, and you could already see Smolder walking away. “W-what? What just happened? Where are you going?”
“Gonna go get Yona, Silverstream, and Gallus, where else would I be going?” Smolder said as she opens her wings. “I get it, it looked really enjoyable and is probably a pony therapy thing. But, Anon? Yeah, a little too weird for me. But a whole minute of that was enough, right?”
IT WAS A MINUTE?! IT ONLY FELT LIKE 10 SECONDS! GYAAAAAH! Ugh, how were you going to argue when you lost track of time that bad? Ugh, you betrayed your sensibilities and your senses for essentially nothing, not to mention your honor. Ugh, well, as long as Diamond doesn’t find out. Although, now that you knew how it felt, maybe giving Diamond a ‘dragon claw’ that fits on the hoof doesn’t sound like a bad idea.“Y-yeah, it was… O-ok, and I’ll hold up my end of the deal. Let me just...” You say as you put on your horn, and make you and Smolder visible to all again. "Alright, that's that."
“Ok then, seeya later, Anon. Let’s never ever mention this to anycreature.” Smolder said as she flew off, still rather weirded out.
“Yeah…” Well, at least you learned something new. Dragon belly scratches are the shit. But god, at what cost? Why did you even just blurt that out?! Dammit, for years, many a pony fan wanted to be ponies and get belly rubs. It just sprung up! Diamond has no reason to be upset at a hidden desire! But oh god, did this lose you friendship points with Smolder?! Nah, no, that therapy explanation is legit. Yeah, Anon, you’re smooth as fuck. Ha ha…
And there you waited, on the side of the road, waiting ways away from the river as you awaited for the arrival of Smolder and her friends. Ugh, look at you, Anon, you actually gave up a clean victory for one minute of belly rubs. What was wrong with you? Diamond would have given you belly rubs for, like, a whole day if you asked. But nooooooooooooooooooooooo, you had to go and want to feel dragon scritchy scratches. Goddamn, you were such a fool.
Hmm? Suddenly you heard voices, you look forward and tilt your head, adjusting your ear ever so slightly. Ahead you could see Smolder, A blue griffon, and a very light purplish grey… Wait, is that the hippogriff? W-woah, she looked… Kinda adorable, and soft. Was that Silverstream? Yeah, she looked cuuuute! But what were they talking about? Hmmm…
Oh yeah, also there was the yak, huh, she was kinda adorable and soft looking for such a big animal. But goddamn that Silverstream. Mmm mmm
“I can’t believe it! I’m finally going to be able to meet the Hero Colt! MMMMMMMMMMM!” Silverstream was spiraling around in mid air in excitement. “I bet he’s even stronger and more powerful than the legends say!”
“Er, how is he a legend if he’s real? Silverstream, you do remember what’s actually going on here, right?” The blue griffon, who must have been this Gallus Smolder mentioned, said.
“Of course I do, I remember the bet.” Silverstream said rather cheerfully “If we see him, we all cheer! Just like I dreamed of”
“That’s not how… Ugh, oook then.” Gallus said with a heavy sigh. “Welp, the bet is a bust. I should have seen that coming. But Silverstream does bring up a good point, ‘if we see him’. You sure he’s around here, Smolder? Already kind of a risk abandoning our assignment. I really don't feel like having some sort of sit down or whatever.”
“He should be around here somewhere. And uh, don’t worry about the bet, it was kind of pointless anyway.” Smolder said, seeming rather confident, yet showing subtle hints of worry.
“Yeah, I guess. Truthfully? And I don’t want anycreature to laugh, but I was kind of enjoying saying hi to everycreature in town.” Gallus said, seeming a little defensive about it.
“Ooooohhh! Me too! Ponies are super duper nice, aren’t they? I already feel like a pony myself! Which I sorta am when I’m a seapony!” Silverstream said, feeling cheerful about the whole thing.
“Yeah, they sort of are. It’s a little weird too, even the foals here just kind of looked at me, smiled, and said I was strong and cool and stuff. It’s uh… Really different, especially when you compare it to Griffonstone.” Gallus explained, seeming even more subdued as he said it.
“Yona noticed, and Yona thinks ponies are all very nice. But Yona still have to face Anon, yak honor depend on it!” The yak, Yona, said, stomping her front hooves down. Woah, her stomp was so strong that even you felt it, it even knocked you out of balance. Christ, the fuck was up with that?!
“Wait, face Anon? As in fight?!” Silverstream suddenly hovered in front of Yona and waved her arms to stop her friends. “Yona, you can’t fight Anon, you’ll get really hurt! I know we haven’t known each other long, but you’re already one of my greatest friends! I can’t let you do this!”
“Relax, Yona not actually fight Anon to destruction. Yona only want to prove that any yak can head smash better than any pony.” Yona said as she sidestepped Silverstream. “No big deal, Yona make it quick.”
“Yeah, I hope it’s quick, we really gotta get back to town as fast as possible after this. Eheh, though, we could just call it a tie now and not worry about it, since the bet is off and all.” Smolder said, also trying to defuse the situation.
“Like Yona said, Yona will make it… Wait, who that down the road?” Yona said as she made an immediate stop, looking forward to see you.
“A colt? Huh, what is he doing way out here? Kind of dangerous to be alone out of town, isn’t it?” Gallus asked.
“Maybe he lost his mother! Guys, we have to help him! It’s what any good friend would do! And that is what we’re learning to be! Good friends!” Silverstream said, already ready to do anything she can to uh… save the day.
“Actually, that’s him. That’s Anon.” Smolder said as she pointed over to you.
“Uhhhhhhh, what?” Gallus said, visibly confused by what he was seeing and what he was hearing.
“Yona confused, Yona thought hero colt was big and strong, but he small, very small.” Yona said, also obviously confused by the whole thing as well.
“Yep, totally not comfortable with this. Look, even if that is actually him, we’ll be chased out of Equestria if we let Yona turn him to paste.” Gallus said, already feeling a giant mistake has been made.
“Yak honor very sacred, we will not fight helpless creatures, it is very wrong. No worries, Yona can see now she was right, so we can go back now. Little colt can ride Yona’s back so he doesn’t have to walk” Yona said, not willing to fight what she thought was a soft little colt.
Smolder just sighed in relief, glad a fight was avoided altogether. “Whew, that was close…” She said silently to herself.
“Smolder, i-is that really him, are you sure?" Silverstream asked, shaking, as if a huge amount of energy was building inside herself.
“Yep, we should go over and actu-Woah! Silverstream?! Wait!” Smolder said, as it seems her confirmation had sent Silverstream flying off like a rocket… WAIT WAIT, SHE WAS HEADING RIGHT TOWARDS YOU!
“Ohhh, shit, what’s going ASDFASDSA” You hadn’t actually heard most of what was going on, and you certainly didn’t expect to be rocket rushed by a gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…. “Gggmmmmmmmmmmmmm~” Suddenly, your thoughts and your speech enter a giant blur as you are snuggled onto the pillowy soft chest of this… adorable hippogriff. And oh god, she was giving you a gentle scratch on your head before twisting left and right with you in her snuggly grip.
“HE’S SO CUTE! HE’S SUPER CUTE! I’M SO GLAD HE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE OUR STATUE OF HIM BECAUSE HE IS SOOOOO MUCH CUTER THAN IT! I’M HUGGING THE HERO COLT! I’M REALLY HUGGING THE LEGENDARY HERO COLT!” Silverstream then held you up like a puppy, her eyes shimmering as she asked with a whisper. “Can I keep you?”
Oh god, Anon, you are stronger than this, you know exactly what to say! “Yes…” You whisper back… Welp, you’re a dumbass.
Smolder was the first to approach from behind the cuddling hippogriff, she could see you drooling, blushing red, and utterly lost. You looked exactly how you reacted when she scratched your belly. It was then, finally, that Smolder realized the truth. “Geez, Anon, don’t you think you should have some dignity? Don’t you have a marefriend or something? I remember your aunt mentioning something about that.”
“Oh, Smolder.” Silverstream said with a giggle as she continued her cuddling. “Did I really give that impression to him? Gosh, I’m really flattered, but..” Silverstream held you to eye level again as she cheerfully said “I only meant to keep you for a day, Anon. I want to learn everything about you, especially about how you beat the Storm King! You could even teach me about your horn if you want! I heard it can be used for a lot of things! Legends say it’s the best weapon ever!”
Anon, goddamn… HOLY SHIT! Smolder was on to you, goddammit, were you that obvious?! You gotta break this hold this hippogriff has on you, it’s not that hard! “Sure, I’ll totally teach you how I use my horn… haha”
“OH MY GOSH! DID EVERYCREATURE HEAR THAT?! WOOHOO! I GET TO LEARN ALL ABO-oops!” In all her excitement, Silverstream accidentally tosses you straight up, way up high. And in your stupor, you don’t even bother to adjust yourself, causing you to fall onto your head like so many times before. It does nothing to you, it doesn’t even break you out of your stupor. “Anon, are you ok?! I’m so so so so so sorry! Oh no, this isn’t going to cause a war, is it?” Silverstream asked, already beginning to feel a need to panic.
“Relax, Silverstream, I don’t even think he was hurt.” Smolder said as she approached you, to look you over and doubly make sure you were ok.
“Are you sure? That was a good toss.” Gallus said as he approached as well, looking you over. “I really can’t see it, this guy beat the infamous Sharpclaw? How?”
“Who Sharpclaw?” Yona asked, also approaching your twitching blushing body. "I thought he beat Storm King"
“I guess he did? But there was also this griffon thief with really sharp talons… That for some reason named himself Sharpclaw. Guy was really good at what he did but really bad with aliases. Anon was the guy who apparently took him down for good.” Gallus said “I even heard he went nuts and color blind at the same time after he got arrested, really weird stuff.”
And that, somehow, broke you out of your stupor as the memory of Sharpclaw came back to you. And that’s only because it was connected to those fucks, the Flim Flam brothers, two guys who, since your interdimensional adventure, trigger you just by name. You slowly get up from the ground and look to the blue griffon to set the record straight. “Actually, I took down Sharpclaw AND his two goons a long whiles back. Sheesh, those guys were small fries, how do you mention that and not explain my amazing win against the Storm King?”
“Uh, because Silverstream never stops about that.” Gallus, a little annoyed with your words, was also surprised about how easily you just got back up. “But… Woah, you look pretty ok. You do know you landed right on your head, right?”
“Anon, I’m really sorry about that! You won’t declare war on Mount Aris, will you?” Silverstream said, nearly biting at her own talons in fear of what you were going to say.
“It’s fine, trust me, it happens a lot. Which is why I heard a certain yak wanted to challenge me at a head smashing contest, that’d be you, right?” You say as you shoot a cool look to Yona.
“Yes, but as impressive as Anon falling on head and not getting hurt is, it’d be dishonorable to crush such small pony with powerful yak head.” Yona said, really no longer willing to fight due to how fragile you looked to her.
“Which, by the way, I’m actually ok with. Considering we really should be gett-” Smolder, who still felt guilty with her bet and wanting a fight between her friends, along with trailing off away from Ponyville and her assignment from Pinkie, gets interrupted by you as you look to Yona with determination. Oh no, hell no, even if you did agree to tie it, you weren’t going to let her think you were weaker than her.
“My head may look adorable and soft, but trust me, it’s more than enough to take you on. Take on any yak really. But I see, if you’re too scared, then I’m willing to let you go.” There we go, elegant but tempting. That should show her you mean business while still keeping your promise to Smolder… Who just brought her hand to her own face for some reason.
“Woah… This guy really does have guts. Or he’s just crazy.” Gallus said, rather impressed by the fact you’d just call out Yona like that.
“Well, from what I learned, Anon’s cutie mark is the mark of chaos! Isn’t that amazing!? It means he can do… OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Silverstream stopped herself once again when she realized you just insulted Yona. “Anon! You didn’t mean that, did you?! Yona is really nice, fun, sweet, and amazing!”
“I mean, I only meant it i-OOP!” And suddenly, Yona brought her head right to yours as she looked at you menacingly.
“Did Anon just insult Yona and entire yak tribe?” Yona asked you, in a rather threatening tone.
“Only if you aren’t willing to accept my challenge.” You say as you wink over at Smolder… Why did she not seem to be happy about this? Huh…
“Yona accept challenge! And Yona win! Go stand over there, Anon.” Yona points over to one side of the road as she begins to stomp to the other. Everyone but you hovers in the air to avoid the quakes caused by her stomping. Holy shit, you could barely get your goddamn footing. “When Yona count to three, we both run and smash heads. Winner is best yak left standing.” She says, with no hint of accepting that you could possibly beat her.
Sheesh, how were you even going to run towards her if her stomping caused you to bounce around like a football? C’mon, Anon, you had to do better than that. You may have to tie this thing due to a bet, but you weren’t going to let yourself lose either.
And then, Smolder suddenly hovered downwards towards you, seemingly annoyed about something. “Did you really have to egg her on about that, Anon?”
“What? What do you mean? I thought this was part of the whole bet thing. Remember? We agreed to that?” You remind her.
“Yes, but… Anon, we could have just walked away- Guh…” She could see it in your face, no matter how she explained it to you, this fight would have happened anyway not just due to the agreement, but because you also wanted to prove your worth. “Nevermind, look, just don’t get hurt out there, ok? And don’t hurt Yona either. Also, I gotta ask you something before this whole thing starts.”
Wut? “What’s that?”
“So, are you just like, girl crazy? Or does that whole affection thing your aunt mentioned really run that deep? Because, y’know, you do got a marefriend, don’t you?” Smolder asked you, wondering what the fuck was up with you. Especially when it came to the belly scratches and Silverstream’s affection.
Fuck! SHE REALLY DID CATCH ON! OH GOD, IF SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE A PERVERT… WHAT IF SHE TOLD FLUTTERSHY OR DIAMOND?! THE SHAME! Not to mention Discord fucking you over if Fluttershy did find out, yeesh. “E-erm, well, she said it herself, right? I just have a huge weakness for it, that's all. I-I just really like being cuddled... But er, trust me, I'm super loyal to my Diamond, yuppers, totally.” Fucking dammit, you were a male! You had needs! She'll never understand!
Smolder just raised an eyebrow at you, only half believing your words, but not wanting to get further into it due to Yona seemingly already ready to throw down. “Uh huh… Ok, whatever. Look, just try to make sure nocreature gets hurt, ok? Silverstream looks like she’s about to fall apart as is over there.”
“It’ll be fine, I promise, I got this.” Just a tie, Anon, remember that. It shouldn’t be that hard anyway, you were amazing at shit like this. You wanted to win, sure, but… Man, you wouldn’t want to upset your seemingly biggest fan, now would you?
And so you stood at one end of the road as Yona stood at the other, both of you facing each other down as Smolder stood at the center. Your plan was simple, just stop and hold your head out, and everything should work out. It didn’t matter how big or bad this yak was, your head was invincible and capable of smashing everything in it's path. By standing still, the full force of your power wouldn’t decimate her.
Gallus and Silverstream stood at the sidelines, watching, nervous. Silverstream in particular looked rather worried, torn between seeing the hero colt work his magic, not wanting to see her new friends fight, and very hoping Yona doesn’t get slaughtered.
“Alright, so the rules are this. One head smash, that’s it, because we really should be heading back to town. Loser is decided by whoever gets pushed the farthest or gets knocked down first. Yona, are you ready?” Smolder said as she looked over to her yak friend.
“Yona always ready. Yona keep head very low to make sure she doesn’t accidentally smash colt.” Yona said with hesitant confidence. She truly was ready to win, but she did worry about hurting you. Just looking at your adorable form, she felt guilt having to crush you at a contest, and would feel even worse if she accidentally smashed you.
“Alright. Yo, Anon, are you ready? And I mean, like, really ready?” Smolder asked, wanting to make absolutely sure you were ready to pull whatever you were going to pull.
“I’m ready, just give the signal. Trust me.” You give a knock on your head to demonstrate how tough it was. “I got this.”
“Alright then, ok…” Smolder took a huge breath before hovering upwards, then exhaled as smoke began to lightly flow out of her mouth and nose. “Ready? Set… GO!” And with that, she lets out a good sized flame into the air to signify both you and Yona to run at each other.
And you both were off, rushing at each other at a reckless pace, both yelling out a battle cry as you both came ever closer to each other. Silverstream covered her eyes as the time came near. But you? You were smart, right before you and Yona meet, you stop and stretch your head out, aiming your forehead at Yona. This was the time, this was it. She’d collide and fall back, and due to whatever force she’s coming at, you’ll slide back and that’s it. It’ll be a tie. You close your eyes and brace yourself.
You then feel it, the collision. It does feel like someone slapped your head, but that was about it. You also didn’t hear anything out of Yona after impact. Was she dizzy? Or did she knock herself out? So, does that mean you win? You open your eyes to see... Everything moving forward? Now that was odd, why would everything be moving forward? You look down and noticed you were flying backward at a high velocity. Huh, that isn’t good at all. How the fsfGFDGADFDFS.
And that was it, you were sent flying harmlessly, backwards, into a tree. Though that part did cause harm, because now you were fucking stuck and you fucking knew you had splinters.
“Yona, Yona are you ok?” Gallus said as he snapped his talons in front of her. “Wow, she actually got knocked out. So…” Gallus looked to Smolder and sighed, “When do we get out of town? Before or after we get expelled and chased out?”
“We can’t just leave! Yona needs our help! And… Wait, where did…” Silverstream looked around, and spotted you. She pointed towards your direction, worried about your condition. “Oh no! Anon needs our help too! We cannot leave until we’ve helped Yona and Anon! Now… How do we do that?”
“I think Yona will get up on her own. But Anon? Yeeeeah, he really got sent flying. I don’t think either of them are really hurt though, so I guess it’s a tie. Anon got sent flying, and Yona got knocked out. Let’s just get Anon out of that tree and everything should be fine. I hope…” Smolder did show a hint of worry, sure. But she was hoping, very hoping, things really were fine. And that things would be fine when she explains to Yona that it was a tie. Because as it is now, the entire situation seemed volatile. She hovered over to you as Gallus and Silverstream followed. “Anon, yo, Anon! Are you ok? How’s your head?”
“Perfectly fine, but I think I’m stuck.” You say as you struggle to try to get out of the tree. “Um, uh, so what’s the ruling?”
Smolder sighed in relief, you really did seem fine. “Gonna say it’s a tie. Hopefully Yona will accept that and OH NO! THAT ISN’T GOOD!” Smolder yelled out in horrified surprise as she looked over to your backside.
“Smolder, what’s up OH WE’RE DEAD!” Gallus, also seemingly freaked out, shouts in fright as he looks over to see what Smolder is looking at.
“What the? What are you guys getting freaked out about back there?” You asked, trying to look back the best you can, but being unable to see anything, you could only guess that maybe there was a monster nearby. “There isn’t something about to attack us, is there?”
“Hmm? Oh no, it isn’t that at all.” Silverstream said in a little giggle. “I think everycreature is upset because there’s a lot of splinters sticking out.”
Huh, funny, you didn’t even really feel it. If you had to guess, that head bash, with all its power, must have rattled your brain hard enough to disable your pain receptors. Actually, that sounds pretty bullshit and makes no sense, but whatever, chaos. “That doesn’t sound so bad, I barely even feel it. I can probably fix that up real quick. Let me just… Ngh! OOF, never mind! Sudden major pain! Holy! Gyah! Why does it hurt so bad?!” Holy shit, you suddenly felt a sudden spike in pain. Like, oh god, it hurt!
“Oh, that might be from the bone that’s sticking out of your leg. Is that bad?” Silverstream asked once again, staring at it. “It’s so weird, it’s just sticking out, like it was out of place or something. Isn’t that silly? I think it’s silly.”
OH, YOUR BONE WAS STICKING OUT?! HAHA! HOW SILLY INDEED! HAHAAAAA! IT HURT LIKE FUCK!
“We just ended up breaking the hero colt’s leg. We are way past doomed here, how do we even fix this?! We aren’t doctors!” Gallus said, gulping hard as the situation just seemed more grim. "What're we gonna do?"
“Oh, that’s easy. According to Professor Fluttershy, Anon is not only capable of amazing things, but also impossible things! This kind of problem can be easily fixed if we just…” Silverstream grabbed your horn as you whimpered and looked around in a panic, and placed it on your forehead. “There we go! Get ready, everycreature! We’re about to see something that is just AWESOMEEEE!”
You didn’t even really realize what was going on. But with the horn on your head, you suddenly stopped feeling pain as the need to puke suddenly hit you. You coughed, spit up, and then finally, your entire bone structure fell out of your mouth. Smolder and Gallus screamed like no tomorrow, Silverstream just watched, still enamored by the whole thing.
You, however, still didn’t realize what was going on. As a skeleton pony, you just stand up, and brush yourself off. “Wow, woah, good thinking there, Silverstream. I don’t know what you did, but it worked like a char-why are you guys looking at me like that?” You ask as you turn around, to see Smolder and Gallus just standing there, frozen in fright. “You guys look white as a ghost.”
“Anon, look at you! How is this even possible?! What is going on?!” Smolder just couldn’t believe it. Turning into a dragon and throwing mail was one thing. But even she couldn’t understand what this was all about.
“Oh, I can explain that too. According to Professor Fluttershy, Anon can use his chaos magic to do almost anything he wants. Chaos itself is the opposite of harmony, and is capable of transformations and mutations , even when it comes to the healing process. Obviously Anon came out as a skeleton to fix his bones and put it all back in their proper places. This is why the hero colt is so cool, and this is why the Storm King had no chance of winning! I’m so happy I get to witness his power in action! Sooooooo cooool!” Silverstream said with a giddiness that confounded her friends. “I bet this was actually Anon’s plan all along! He’s so great!”
Holy hell, you really had to be careful around this chick. She seemed just as into you as Diamond is, but in a fangirl type of way. “Y-yeah, totally. Erm, let me just, click myself back in place.” You look at your bony self, and god, it looked goddamn spooky. Though, it did make it super easy to pop all your bones back into place. Crisis averted.
Gallus, so befuddled by it all, immediately calms down and just looks to Silverstream in a stoic confusion. “So, wait, let me get this straight. This doesn’t freak you out at all? This is normal?”
“For Anon, it is! My cousin told me all about it. What I don’t get is why you both are so scared. This is nothing compared to the Storm King. Now he was scary.” Silverstream said. She was seriously, just seriously, ok with all of this.
“Ooook then, I don’t even know how to feel about this anymore. So are we doomed? Are we dreaming? What’s going on here?” Gallus was more than confused now, everything was becoming more bizarre by the minute for him.
“I think I actually get it. It’ll be ok…” Smolder says, letting out a giant sigh of relief. “Anon is ok. He’s just using his magic to heal, that’s all. I’ve seen him do weird stuff like this before, so it’s kinda normal in a way. His way, anyway.”
“So this really is all normal? No wonder Sharpclaw went nuts, I can’t even imagine what he did to him.” Gallus commented, slowly calming down as the nonsense began to actually make sense to him. “Can’t even imagine what he did to this Storm King guy everycreature talks about.”
Smolder was thinking to herself, hearing and having to process all this, she was now damned glad that you went much easier on Garble than what you apparently could do at full power. “Yeah… So, Anon, if everything is fine, how are you going to get back in your body? Is it really that simple?”
“Should be, erm, never been a skeleton before. I guess I just grab my sk-OH MY WHAT?!” You look over to your skin and your eyeballs were literally hanging out as everything else looked like a hollowed out, nightmare fueled, and totally 'not cute in anyway' corpse. “Ooogh, I didn’t need to see that, geez.”
“See wh-ohhhhh...mnng, I gotta go!” Gallus, upon going to check around the tree, noticed what you were looking at and nearly lost it as he suddenly flew off to puke somewhere in privacy.
“Do I want to look what you both just looked at?” Smolder asked, feeling on edge.
“U-uh, no… Let me just, look, just look away.” Oh god, even with your skelly self, you could feel your skin. Gross, you slowly and gently popped your eyes back in, then slowly started to slide yourself into your skin through the mouth. When it was all over, you were finally back to normal, albeit still a splinter pin cushion and feeling irked about it all. You began to blink, blink again, and then shiver at the thought of what just happened. “E-everything is fine, just gotta remind myself to never ever do that again. I really hope I didn’t get infected, like, in my entire body.”
“Anon! That was so cool! Look! Not only are you as good as new, but you even woke up Yona! How amazing is that?!” Silverstream said as she pointed to the yak, who was woozily standing up and trying to figure out what happened. You didn't actually wake up Yona, but it was kinda good she wasn't awake for this. Her stomps already shook up the place and you didn't need a freaked out Yak leveling have the road.
“I’ll go talk to her, make sure she knows what’s up. Just keep an eye out for Gallus, ok? He wasn't looking too good after… That.” Smolder said as she hovered off to check on Yona, she was glad she had not seen what Gallus and you had seen. If it was enough to even freak you out, then she didn't even try to guess what it was that caused it.
At this point, you were already using your magic again to painlessly pluck the splinters off the lower part of your body. “Sheesh, even if this was all a tie, this is embarrassing. How did I not notice I was being sent back?” Ugh, you really couldn’t figure it out.
“Well, you did close your eyes. Yona is really big and strong, so it makes sense to me. But, wow, I got to see that even having his bones broken doesn’t stop the hero colt!” She suddenly reaches out for you and starts cuddling onto you once again. “I’m going to write a letter to my brother, my aunt, my cousin, and… No, to every creature back in Seaquestria and Mount Aris! You’re not just a legend, you’re really real! And sooo snuggly! You have to show me how you beat the Storm King sometime! It’s one thing to hear about it, it’s another to see it! I bet it’s so super incredible too, ooohhhhh, I feel so excited right now! Everything worked out oooookkkk!”
Nope, this felt too good. You were dead. If you had to go to school and deal with this, then you knew eventually Diamond would see something like this and actually slice you in two with an axe.
“So, Yona, you’re not really mad about me knocking you out?” You asked.
Things were calm now, you all decided to take a rest by the river to cool off and relax for a moment. Yona was still mostly in the dark about what happened after she conked out, Gallus had returned and wanted nothing else to do with anything else that was extra freaky, Smolder was glad everything had calmed down, and you and Silverstream? You had allowed her to cuddle you close to her chest as you sat down in front of her. It was risky, but you managed to subdue your libido thanks to the fact that Silverstream really wasn’t in love with you at all. She respected you, but also found you too adorable not to snuggle with, and just being close was a huge honor for her. How could you not let her snuggle with her hero?
“Only if Anon not mad Yona sent him into tree. Yona impressed as Yona thought tough hero colt head was only bad rumor.” Yona said, rather pleased about the whole thing as she dabbed her hoof in the water. “Yak honor not tarnished by a tie, so it’ll be ok.” Yona then turned her head to Gallus, feeling confused about something. “But Yona also don’t understand why Gallus looks green, Yona didn’t know griffons could change color.”
Every one of you just kind of look away, as his reason, aside for Silverstream, made you all feel rather squeamish in some way. Finally Gallus just said in a calm but slightly nervous fashion. “I, uh, just feel a little sick, that’s all. I don’t complain about it though, we griffons are tougher than that.”
“That good, Yona was worried something was really wrong. But now Yona want to know how Anon get such strong head, Yona just don’t understand and want to know so Yona can get stronger too!” It seems she was really eager to learn your awesome technique of… Wait, you don’t even train your head. You just kinda fall on it a lot. Egh, was that it? How pathetic.
“Oh, er, I just smash it into things.” You chuckle, obviously not being fully truthful “Works out great for me.”
“Huh, Yona confused. Yaks smash all the time… Oh wait, maybe that it, ponies don’t smash all the time, so Anon get strong head by training like yak.” Yona nods, satisfied with that conclusion. “Yona feel good about this, as it shows yak method is best method for head smashing. Yona now understands how Anon got so strong.”
W-wut?! That’s bullshit, your method of… Ok, again, let’s not admit the truth on how your head got so damn hard. “Oh, uh, yep. Yak method is best method. Ahagmmmm!” Suddenly, you soften up again as Silverstream snuggles you close, swaying from side to side.
“This is why Anon is legendary! Not only is he a master of chaos magic, but he trains in the arts of other creatures! Guys, we gotta get Headmare Twilight to make a class about Anon! He’s already like an element… Um, a seventh element of harmony!” Silverstream said, fangasming once more.
“Uhhh. I don’t know.” Smolder contested “Anon is pretty cool, but I wouldn’t say a whole class based around him would be a good idea. What element would he be? What would we even learn?”
“Egh, if it’s anything like today, it’d be how to lose your lunch in two seconds.” Gallus said, relaxed, but obviously not ok with anything having to do with actually learning about you. It seems today, and what he knew of the aftermath of you thrashing Sharpclaw during Nightmare Night, made him believe the class would be more maddening than insightful.
“Hmph.” The hell were they talking about? There’s a lot to learn about you! Hell, fuck the Storm King, you saved an entire world before and befriended one of Equestria’s ultimate evils. Not to mention preventing Starlight from even coming close to either using your horn to warp Equestria or letting her pull off her original plan using time shenanigans. Seventh element? You’d be the element of getting shit done! You hop away from Silverstream, and look to the group, determined to justify Silverstream’s words. “I actually think Silverstream has a good point.” Hell, this could be the class you could teach, Professor Anon. “Not tooting my own horn here, but with my magic, I could make lessons about myself wicked cool. I’d be able to teach you guys about all my victories, and teach everycreature how to be as heroic as I am.”
“Uh, look, I don’t want to sound insulting or anything. But considering how it looks like you get your victories, I’d never end up signing up for that class.” Yeah, Gallus really wasn’t up for it.
“I’m with Gallus. Plus, I’d rather hang out with you than you be my teacher. Could you even imagine how awkward it would be? Everycreature would accuse us of cheating since we’re already friends. Not that I mind, but you know what I mean. Also, it's pretty narcissistic for you to teach a class about yourself, just saying” Smolder added.
“Yona is fine too, Yona just want to learn about friendship.” Yona also added.
“Thinking about it now, I guess I already know everything I need to know about you, Anon. Plus, I got to hug you too! I already feel like maybe I already learned everything I need to know. Being a hero sounds reaaaaallllyyyy great though! Maybe…” And then suddenly, the ever cheerful hippogriff suddenly frowned as she began to nervously rub at her arm. “Maybe I would have been able to stop the Storm King myself… I dunno, erm, maybe?” Suddenly, she just shivered and looked down, not looking anyone in the eye. “Although, if I messed up, then everycreature would have been gone. So maybe, learning to be a hero is a bad idea.”
“Silverstream? Why you sad? Yona didn’t think it was bad idea, Yona even think you can be great hero!” Yona said, trying to cheer up her friend. “Yona would help too, Yona would show evil Storm King how yaks smash!”
“Yeah, I’d help too. C’mon Silverstream, that guy can’t be that big a deal. And even if he was.” Smolder made a fist as she gave Silverstream a confident smile. “I doubt the guy could take us on. Yona could throw him off balance, knock him down, and I could cook him up! Then you could lay down the final blow on that creep! We could even be a team if we got Sandbar and Ocellus to help, then we’d be unstoppable! Isn’t that right, Gallus?”
“What?! Why would we… Ugh, ok, I guess I’d help too. Every team needs a griffon, especially you guys. We know every dirty trick in the book, so I could definitely tell you if something was off.” Gallus said, joining in on the pep talk the moment he really noticed how Silverstream looked. Whatever it was, it really seemed the Storm King had caused her some sort of trauma. Hmmm…
“Awww… You guys…” Silverstream slowly began to smile, then began to cry as she rushed her friends for a big group hug. “You guys are the most amazing friends any hippogriff could ever have! I’m so glad I came here, I’m so happy! You guys are more amazing than stairs, castles, and hayburgers put together!” She just snuggled onto them, none of them even the least bit uncomfortable about it, it was a heartwarming sight to see.
These guys needed to learn friendship? Fuck, it looked like they were already good at it. What the hell could they possibly learn from Twilight’s school? Hell, what could you even learn? Once again, the entire concept was looking pretty stupid to you. But not wanting to ruin the moment, you try to offer some encouraging words yourself. “Tch, it looks like you guys became the best of friends real quick. I bet Headmare Twilight would have had you skip a grade or given you a diploma or however she does things, I dunno, but you get what I mean.”
“You re-OH NO! HEADMARE TWILIGHT! THE LESSON! PROFESSOR PINKIE!” Silverstream flew up in a panic and began to wave her arms about “Everycreature, we gotta get back to town and finish saying hi to everypony before we get in trouble for not doing that!”
“H-hey, relax, Silverstream. Hmm, but you’re right, ah well…” Smolder let out a content sigh as she took a stretch and looked back down the path. “This was all pretty cool, but I bet even Ocellus and Sandbar noticed we’re not in town.”
Gallus hovered upwards, ready to fly back. “Eh, I’ve been kinda ready to go back. Also, if you’re worried about them telling anycreature where we went, then don’t. They’re pretty cool about these kinds of things… I think?”
“No, Yona think Gallus is right. Sandbar and Ocellus are very very nice. We safe.” Yona adds
“Oh, then I guess I sort of freaked out over nothing. Oh! Anon, do you want to come with us to say hi to everycreature? I know you know Ocellus, but you’d get to meet Sandbar! I think you’ll really like him!” Silverstream said, really hoping you’d say yes.
“Actually…” Silverstream was rather touchy touchy, and being seen in town in such a way would probably cause some rumors to spread that you don’t need at the moment. Plus, you had a job to do, you had to go see Twilight and tell her the news. She was really gonna sperg, but better to tell her than to just hide it. “I sort of have something important to do. But I’ll be a student day after tomorrow, so it’ll all be good.”
“Yeah! That’s right! Professor Fluttershy had mentioned that too! I’m so excited for that! I mean, I don’t know why the hero colt would also need to go to friendship school, but I’m still super excited about it! Yeah!” Silverstream flew down and gave you a gentle little hug. “I’ll see you later, Anon. Whatever is super important, I hope it really works out for you!”
Ngh… If she knew you were helping a known villain who could be seen as an equal to the Storm King, then she’d probably change her mind on that. Whatever, it’ll be fine. “Thanks, and you… All of you, I really hope you all like it here.”
And with that, you all said your goodbyes. Smolder, however, lingered for another moment, approaching you once more before leaving. “Hey, Anon, before I go. I gotta ask you something.”
Hmm? “Yeah, what’s up, Smolder?”
“Look, this talk about you stopping villains and all that? It made me wonder about something Ocellus had talked to me about. You remember, right? That bug queen she used to listen to?” Oh no, you remember she had wanted to ask you about that. Ugh, ok, how much did she know then?
“Yeah, I remember, er, what about it?” You ask.
“Just seems weird, y’know? She told me not to tell anycreature, and that if I wanted to know more about it, that I should ask you. I don’t know why she’d tell me that, I guess she was worried about what I’d think if she told me more. Anyway, what she told me about you two is that you guys actually talked to each other. What was all that about? I would have thought you’d cream her or something.” Smolder really did seem interested in this for some reason. But why would Ocellus just randomly tell her?! You had to know that before you even had this conversation.
“Um, well, before I even say anything about that. Er, could you tell me why Ocellus would even tell you about it? Seems weird considering you guys only knew each other for a day.” Whatever reasoning it was, it better be good.
“We had a lot of time to talk before classes actually started. I dunno, we just kind of clicked since we both knew you. It’s kind of funny though, I asked her the same question. She said she just wanted somecreature to talk to about it that wasn’t another changeling, that also knew you, and didn’t mind too much about bad stuff. Given I’m a dragon, bad stuff doesn’t really bother me. If it’s that big a secret, then I can keep it safe since you’ve been keeping mine pretty good. So, wanna let me in on it? You don’t really have to, but I kind of want to know, seems pretty juicy.” Smolder said, ready to listen to what you had to say.
“Uh, but uh…” Goddammit, fucking bugs, you swear to god. Can’t keep a secret worth shit despite being so secretive. “Don’t you gotta go back to town?”
“Yeah… But now this just started nagging me and I just want to know what’s up. You don’t have to give me ALL the details, just tell me enough and I’ll ask Ocellus for the rest. I’m pretty sure she’ll be comfortable enough to give me the whole story if you’re willing to tell me enough of what was going down with you and, Chrysalis, I think she said her name was? Yeah, I think that’s it.” Smolder said. Really curious about the relationship between you and Chrysalis.
This really was uncomfortable, but what were you going to do? You know how these things go, if you don’t give her something then she’ll probably do something that will make the situation worse. “Fine, fine, ok. Look, Me and Chrysalis ended up being roommates thanks to my Dad’s magic. Before you say anything, yes, it sounds weird, but that’s how things are.”
“I wasn’t gonna say anything. I already know everything about you is really weird. So, uh, just keep going. I want to know how this went, considering she was supposed to be really evil.” Smolder said, unphased by anything thus far.
“Oh, uh... Hmm. Anyway, her, her hive, and me pretty much hung out every once and awhile. But when it came to me and her specifically, we basically tried to get one another to see why we should follow a certain path, good and evil basically. Chrysalis and I became friends this way, we had a lot in common, and had an understanding on a bunch of things. We shared a lot of laughs, we even saved another universe together. Everything was good until her hive, including Ocellus, just turned sides.” You look over to Smolder, and still noticed she was unphased. “And that’s the short version. None of that bothers you at all? That I was friends with a big time villain?”
Smolder shrugged “I dunno, I don’t even really know her, just that she was bad. Anon, I’m a dragon, a lot of us did a whole bunch of really bad stuff until Princess Ember turned things around. Even I did stuff I wasn’t proud of. So uh, y’know, whatever, I was just curious about it since Ocellus really doesn’t strike me as the…” Smolder raised her claws and made a malicious face “RAWR, EVIL MAWHAHAHAHA! Ha… Ok, that was dorky. But you get what I mean. Sounds like Chrysalis needs to take friendship classes more than Ocellus does, but whatevs, it sounds like you’re still trying to help her. So, that true? Are you trying to help her?”
Huh, never mind, you expected a freakout or some sort of lecture on how you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing. Then again, Smolder was a dragon, and a young one at that, something you should have considered. “Uh, yeah. She’s my friend, y’know? Everypony thinks I’m still obsessed with it, but really, I just don’t want to see her do something that… I dunno, might get her sent to Tartarus… Or worse. It’s complicated, the friendship I mean. But really, if any of my friends ended up in a really bad situation, I’d be there to help them out.” That’s true, isn’t it? You helped Starlight keep things together.
“Heh, I guess that’s why you’re the hero colt then.” Smolder said with an honest yet condescending chuckle as she goes over to pat your head. “Well, I can say this, you’ve already shown me that you’re an awesome friend. So it's even more awesome you’re willing to look past all that bad stuff to try to help that evil queen. Well, Anon, I’ll tell you what. If you even need my help, you come looking for me, ok?”
Well damn, really? That’s so damn awesome! “Yeah, sure! Thanks, Smolder, that really means a lot.”
“Heh, I’d probably charge you a gem or two every now and then, but I think you already got me enough of them to last you a million favors.” Smolder says with a chuckle.
Oh really? You shoot her a cute look at shift your eyebrows at her. “Or are you just giving me freebies because we’re already such good friends?”
Smolder just looks stoically at you as she points “Don’t push your luck. Dragons don’t really do freebies” She then shoots you a smirk of her own. “But if you want me to, I could just say that you owe me for all the time I had to spend with helping my brother heal up after what you did to him.”
“Woah, woah, ok ok. I get it. Anyway, you better get going before somecreature notices you’re gone.” You say with a wink.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, seeya around, Anon. Oh, and you need more calcium in your diet. Just saying.” Smolder says with a giggle as she flies off.
“Seeya… HEY WAIT! WHAT’S THAT SUPPO-bah, she’s gone.” Did she just imply your bones looked brittle or something? She better be joking, goddamn, she better be joking. You are not brittle! Why does that upset you so much?! Fuck this, gotta go see Twilight. Hopefully she’s still in the mindset of that promise, because this will be a doozy.
You teleported yourself in front of Twilight’s doors as you contemplated the last moments you just had. You realized a few things: From the fact your body is nowhere near as sturdy as your head, to the fact Smolder was kind of shaping up to be as cool a friend as Scootaloo, perhaps even more so in that regard. And then there was this business with Chrysalis, and also why the fuck is Twilight’s school so damn glamorous? Like fucking hell, forget about everything else, the entrance had fucking waterfalls and watery steps and a little bridge and all that shit, how much did it fucking cost to build this fucking place? Wait, Anon, don’t go down this line of thinking. You have to focus… And not on hippogriffs, don’t do that either.
Actually, maybe you should take this news to Starlight first. She was basically Twilight Two, cared about your well being, and was more your friend than she was. Then again, Starlight seems to trust the situation less than Twilight does, which is fucking amazing when you think about it. Then again, your thoughts are broken when you hear the familiar ring of your codec. Discord?
“Discord? What’s up man? Sorta busy.” You tell him
“‘Sorta busy?’ Anon, I hope you’re not serious. I have the whole explanation about my essence whipped up and ready to go. What could you be doing right now that is more important than that?” Woo, Discord sounded pretty annoyed. About what? That? You didn’t need to know that shit, you were perfectly capable of handling yourself without it.
“Dude, I need to talk to Twilight about Chrysalis andFSDDSA” Suddenly, you are blown away as Discord appears in front of you in a grand yet very silent explosion.
“Pardon me…” Discord said as he magically pulls a popcorn bag out of a conjured floating microwave. “But did I just hear you were going to talk to Twilight about Chryssy? And you didn’t invite me? For shame, Anon, I’m sure we’ve talked about something like this before.”
Goddammit, you should have kept your mouth shut on this one. “Because I could tell this wasn’t gonna be something you’d help me with. Dammit, Discord! This is a really delicate situation, ok? Unless you’re legit going to help me, you can fuck right off, I don’t need your bullshit right now. I’m this close, THIS CLOSE, to finally fixing everything.”
“Ah yes, your ever grand delusion, how could I forget.” Discord says with a snicker before slithering around you and petting your head. “But fret not, Anon, it’s not like I need to make my presence known. I’ll be right out of sight if you just allow me to have a front row seat to the chaos that is about to ensue.”
You roll your eyes at him, what a crock of shit. “If I say no, you’ll just make things worse for me? Is that it? Because I know you won’t just accept me saying no.”
Discord slithers away from you, hovering above you as he just randomly starts to shave his popcorn. “Considering how far our relationship has come, I find it rather surprising you’d think telling me no would make things worse for you, when in fact I’d just do what I do anyway and watch from afar as Twilight’s mind melts from whatever you’re about to tell her. To put it simply, Anon, I’m not here to help or hinder you.” Discord pulls up a lawn chair and lays down to relax as he makes a soda appear with his popcorn. “I’m just here to enjoy the show, that’s all.”
Hmph, telling him no usually does make things worse, no matter how far the relationship has come. Though on the flipside, he has helped you countless times before just on a whim. But this one time, you needed to do this on your own. “Ok then, fine, you can watch and get your jollies. But please, let me just have this one, ok?”
“Yes, Anon, I said I would.” Discord said with an eye roll as he poofed away, his voice still echoing around. “Don’t know why you’re being this antagonistic to me though, especially considering all the fun you’ve been having with the power of chaos. Children these days, sooooo unappreciative. Oh, and on that note, we really should talk about your changeling friend too.”
“Yeah, maybe I… Discord? Yo, Discord? Bah, he’s gone, or just not answering. Ugh, totally forgot about the XX-Captain. Wonder how he’s even passing the time. Hmm, whatever.” You look towards Twilight’s door and try to focus on your objective. “Remember Anon, you are close. And don’t take any of Twilight’s shit either. Because, er, y’know, if Starswirl told you do not take Celestia’s shit, then that surely applies to Twilight as well. And…” You stop your speech as you blink blankly, then bring your hoof to your face.
“Y’know, Anon, I don’t mean to butt in, considering I’m supposed to have disappeared and all, but you do realize spouting exposition is a nasty habit, right? I don’t even mean to sound naggy about it, it’s just a thought you might want to consider.” Discord’s voice rang out with an echo.
You just stood there, grumbling. Who is he to talk? Can’t even fucking stop rambling to nothing whenever something doesn’t go his way. Anyway, enough of that. You slowly open the doors to Twilight’s office and step inside. Twilight herself seemed to be in a good mood, she was looking over some papers as Spike stood to her side, taking notes. “I really can’t believe how well this is going so far, Spike. No trouble, no complaints, and Chancellor Neighsay hasn’t had anything to say.”
“Well, that’s because he hasn’t shown up yet. But yeah, everycreature seems pretty happy with the classes so far. You sure it was ok to let Pinkie go ahead with today’s lesson though? I mean, usually it’d be fine, but that Neighsay guy might have a fit if he sees students just walking around town during school hours.” Spike said, obviously worried over the situation.
“It’ll be alright no matter what. And even if he does have something to say…” Twilight walks over to her window, and looks through it, to look towards town, a confident smile on her face. “Then I’ll just tell him that once upon a time, a unicorn showed up in this very town, disinterested in friendship. And-” But before Twilight could finish, Spike interrupted her.
“Let me stop you right there, Twilight. Chancellor Creepoid will probably only agree to your origin story because you’re a pony. Remember, this guy seems to have a chip on his shoulder about everycreature else, so he’ll probably just end up saying something mean about them.” Spike walked over to the window to stand by Twilight, staring out with her. “And I don’t know if we can trust this whole experiment thing either. The guy seemed TOO ok with letting you go against EEA regulation stuff. Makes me wonder if he doesn’t have some sort of spy wandering around, waiting for you to slip up.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That’s exactly what he had, in you. B-but, y’know, that doesn’t mean much now. Y-you like the students here so far, and Neighsay hasn’t tried contacting you in a while. S-so, y’know, it’s not like it’s that bad. Whatever, you had more pressing matters at hand. The whole Neighsay thing could be dealt with when and if he tries to talk to you again. You clear your throat, then make yourself known. “Heya Twilight, Spike, what’s up? How’s the second day of friendship school coming along?”
“Anon? Oh, ahrm…” Spike was surprised to just see you there. He looked over to the doors and could see they had been opened. He figured he just missed it due to his discussion with Twilight. “Goin’ great! It’s goin’ super great actually. No hiccups or anything. Of course, that is thanks to Twilight and the elements of harmony, plus your good ole pal, Spike.”
“He’s right, Um… But, what are you doing here, Anon?” Seemed Twilight didn’t want to just throw out mindless approvals of the going ons of her school, as she seemed more interested in your presence. At first, she seemed suspicious of you, but then she smiled, calming herself as she greeted you more properly. “Actually, I apologize, what I meant to say is good afternoon, Anon. What can I do for you?”
Oh yeah, real smooth there, Twilight. Oh well, it’s do or die time. “I actually came to talk to you about Chrysalis, Twilight. I uh, I made contact with her. And we had a talk about reforming and stuff. And well, the news I got is… Well…”
“It’s the ‘there’s good news and there’s bad news’ type of news, ain’t it? Oh boy, Twilight, Uh…” Spike looked over to her, already ready to try to keep her calm and even get your back on this. While also at the ready to defend Twilight should you take things too far yourself. “Let’s keep it together, ok? This could be more good than bad, y’know?”
Twilight nodded, remaining patient and calm as she replied to Spike. “I know, Spike. And I still have a promise to keep. But not only that, but I’ve come to learn that overreacting to things like this doesn’t help the situation at all. Anon has been hassled too much over this already, and I’m ready for the good and the bad news. So go ahead, Anon, tell me.”
Ohhhh, what is this then? Her being calm about Chrysalis? Well, crikey, you had to just silently look at her for a moment or two just to make sure. Yep, she seemed pretty ready for this. Ok then. “Well, let’s go with the good news first. And trust me, it’s really good! Chrysalis has agreed to try to reform and to let us help her.”
Twilight suddenly became giddy, enough to teleport in front of you and grab you in a hug, acting celebratory over it all. “Anon! That is amazing news! I knew you could do it! Do you know what this means?!”
Geez! It wasn’t that her grip was tight, no, it was just right with cuddles and niceness. But goddamn, what got her so excited? And what the fuck did she mean she knew?! “W-wait, when did you even think I could do this?”
“Last night, she practically beat herself over the head with a book trying to believe you could do it. I already knew you could, but uh, I know it can’t be that easy. So, what’s the bad news, Anon?” Spike seemed pleased, yet skeptical of your words.
“Spike!” Twilight called out, annoyed as she put you down. Then she looked to you with a sheepish smile. “O-ok, that is true. I may have had a moment last night thinking about it. But for you to manage this so quickly, I hardly think the bad news will be anything even remotely frightening. And I can promise you right now, Anon, we will all do our very best to help reform Chrysalis and make her feel as comfortable as possible.”
Well, that’s good to hear, because what you’re about to tell her may make or break the entire situation. “That’s good to hear, Twilight. Because, well, how to put this.”
Spike was already at the ready, whispering to himself “Here it comes…”
“Well, Uhhhh… It’s on the condition we can stop her latest evil and diabolical plot. Yeah, she sort of wants to pull off one more scheme before she’s ok with reformation. But hey, with the optimism you have, that shouldn’t be too tough to deal with, right?”
“Oh no… That’s not bad news, that’s the worst news.” Spike said to himself as he looked to Twilight. She was frozen with her optimistic smile, her pupils shrank, her mane started to become out of place. “Anon, you may wanna-” But Spike could not finish his words as Twilight suddenly exploded in a spastic manner.
“WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHY WOULD YOU AGREE TO THAT?! WHY WOULD SHE EVEN DO THAT IF SHE WANTED TO BE REFORMED!? ANON, WHAT DID YOU JUST CAUSE?!” Twilight yelled out, jumping and being loud enough to roll you backwards.
“Twilight! Twilight! Yo, calm down! Maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds!” Spike said, running up in front of her and waving his arms to signal that it’d be ok.
“Not as bad as it sounds?! It sounds like she wants to try to take over Equestria and that Anon just said ‘Sure, go ahead!', that’s how it sounds!” Twilight said to her assistant, frazzled over the whole thing.
“Actually.” Oh god, here we go. Anon, remember what you told yourself, remember what was said to you. Don’t take Twilight’s shit, and make sure she understands the situation. You can do this! “She said if we can stop her, not to just let her do what she wants. Twilight, why are you even spazzing out? It’s not that big a deal, and I’m this close to reforming her! This is the last step. Heck, I’ll even compromise and say that if she lies about this, then... I dunno, I’ll do something about it, I promise!”
“Anon, even if she said that, we are still allowing her to try another big evil plan! What don’t you get about that?! Why would she even agree to be reformed if not to make some sort of deal where we just sit on our hooves and let her do what she wants!? And don’t tell me we can just stop her. Because even if that’s true, we would be knowingly putting all of Equestria at risk, or at least whatever place she decides to attack. Anon, how could you be so selfish?! I was with you up until the safety of everycreature became a concern! Do you really think risking the lives of everycreature is ok? You couldn’t talk her out of this? Or, I don’t know, stand up to her about it?! She’s using you again, Anon, can’t you see that?!” Twilight was verily concerned, and you could see why. You really didn’t consider the safety of others, and that was because…
“Twilight, it really isn’t that big a deal! You’re acting like she’s still capable of doing what she did at Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s wedding! She can’t, period, she’s alone and in pain because of it! She talks to creatures that aren’t even there, Twilight, and that’s what worries me. She won’t last much longer being as alone as she is. She thinks that whatever she plans to pull off will make her feel whole again, I know it. But I also know she’s wrong, and she won’t be able to pull it off. She has no army, Twilight. Meanwhile, we got me, Dad, you and your team, Starswirl and his team, the princesses, royal guards up the wazoo, and even her own hive. She’s outnumbered, out magic’d, and outplayed, Twilight. She was doomed to fail before things even begun. So again, what are you spazzing about?!” Dammit, you weren't just going to take this. You knew you were right!
“Anon…” Twilight was suddenly doing her best to calm down. She could see it on your face, your determination and self righteousness. She could see just how deeply you really wanted this to work. But she sat down, took a breath, and shook her head. “Anon, no matter the chances, it’s never worth putting others at risk like that. I know you know that, just like I know how deeply you want to help Chrysalis.”
D-dammit! No, she can’t just shrug you off like that! “So what?! That’s it then?! What even makes you think it’d even get that far, Twilight?! This isn’t how it normally works! We can let the princesses and Starswirl know! We could set up spells and alarms and everything to tell us when she’s gonna try something! It’s not like we’re just going to get blindsided here! She gave us the advantage! Can’t you see?! Think! Maybe she just wants to set herself up to lose so we all hate her! You’re giving into it right now, when we could easily stop her with our ridiculous magic! Tell me that I’m wrong now, Twilight! Go ahead, do it!”
“W-woah, Anon, bro, calm down. I know you want to help her, but I think Twilight might be right on this one.” Spike said as he carefully approached you, hoping to calm your nerves.
“She isn’t! She doesn’t even talk to Chrysalis like I do! It’s the same thing with Starlight! She’s just making a stupid decision that nearly ruined everything because she doesn’t know ANYTHING beyond her own suspicions!” You pointed out as you began to feel emotionally flustered. Dammit! You have come to far for this kind of bullshit!
“Anon! Hey, that’s uncalled for! Twilight and I and everypony else wants to help you, but Twilight is right, we just can’t make a big risk like that! C’mon, man, be reasonable here!” Spike said, trying to get you to calm down and see you were being ridiculous.
But Twilight? She could really see it. The fact she spazzed about it made her feel rather guilty, as she did come to this conclusion without thinking about how you or even Chrysalis felt. Enough for her to consider an alternative plan to try to satisfy everyone involved. “Spike. Anon, I think, has every right to feel the way he does. Even with the reformation of the changeling hive, the situation with Chrysalis has definitely been mishandled. But Anon, please, we have to be more reasonable than this. We have to figure something out.”
Reasonable? Mnnngh, at least she realized the situation was mishandled, there is that at least. But you couldn’t let this moment slip by. You also couldn’t let Twilight take full control of the situation. “I agree, it has been mishandled. This is still my show though, and unless you have a better way to reform her, I’d like to hear it. Because I still can’t see why we can’t just set up some defenses. It’s not like it’d be hard, Twilight, she’s only one bughorse.”
“Anon, like I said, we can’t risk the safety of anypony. Even if the chances are astronomically high that we can stop her, there is still a chance somepony could get hurt along the way. It may be easy for you to make such a decision. But as the princess of friendship, I have to consider the safety of everycreature in every decision I make. Every single one of them are as important as you and I, and I just wish you could understand that.”
“Y’know, not to interrupt or anything, but if it’s really that important, why don’t you both just go see Chrysalis together? Just let her know you’re there to talk and negotiate and stuff and maybe you could find a solution to all this. I’d like to think the reason Chrysalis might be moody and want to take over is because of what happened with Princess Celestia. But if you both go, and she sees a princess is willing to talk and forgive her, it might be enough to open her heart a little and forget her grudge.”
“What?” You both look to Spike, confused about his suggestion.
Spike became a little sheepish, but stood firm on his suggestion. “Yeah, just… Y’know, talk to her? If I was a Princess of Friendship, it’d be what I’d do. And if what Anon is saying is true, it’s not like you’d be in any danger, especially if Anon is at your side.”
While Twilight seemed hesitant on the idea, the gears in your head were turning. Chrysalis had just seen both you and Diamond off, so she had to be more willing to accept other visitors if you were around, even if it is Twilight. You have the power to make sure Chrysalis nor Twilight kill each other. And if Twilight can be wrangled in, maybe Chrysalis will soften up. Yeah, she wouldn’t truly do anything to hurt you, and if Twilight and her could see eye to eye… “I’m ok with it, let’s do that! Let’s do that right now!” Yes, you had to, before Chrysalis delved back deeper into those delusions she’s been having.
“What?! But I didn’t even consider it yet! Shouldn’t we figure out the pros and cons to it first?!” Twilight said in surprise. But fuck it, it can work!
“Twilight, we can’t just sit around and wait for the pros and cons. Chrysalis, at this very moment, can be talked to. I should know, I talked to her today. I get that she may react super harsh because it’s… Well… you. But I can subdue her, and then we can talk things out. C’mon, nopony would be in danger! It’d just be us two. Isn’t that what you want? To make sure everypony is safe while we reform Chrysalis?” C’mon, Twilight, agree to this. C’MON!
Twilight looked to you, and then to Spike. Both of you seemed to think it really was a good idea. Twilight also had to consider that you knew Chrysalis better than anyone, so if what you said is true, would it really be best to go see her at this very moment? The plan didn’t seem solid, but considering it’s Chrysalis, it’d never would have been. “Let’s just consider a few things first before I make my decision. Are you sure seeing her right now would be effective? If it’s just us, then I’m not worried about safety, I think I could take her if she tried anything. But the important thing is helping her towards the path of friendship. So again, I ask you, would it be?”
You nod. Fuck yes, some actual progress! “I do. Trust me, it'll work. Chrysalis, I promise you, has had her more tender moments. She’s capable of caring, we just need to go and show her we can care about her. That ANYPONY can. Do you know what I mean, Twilight?”
“He’s making sense to me, Twilight.” Spike said with a shrug.
“I think he is too. As the Princess of Friendship, it is my duty to help everycreature in need, and that includes Chrysalis too. If you really feel this is our chance to help her, then of course I’ll agree to it. I assume you know how to get to wherever she is, right?” Twilight asks as she takes a breath, preparing herself for anything that might happen.
You nod as you slap on your horn. “I am. But, look, Chrysalis might be disagreeable if she thinks you know how to find her. So do you mind if we just teleport straight there, without revealing her exact location?”
“I’d rather know it. But if you feel it’d help the situation, then ok. Spike, I need you to stay here and let the girls know where I went in case they come looking for me in my office. Hopefully, we shouldn’t be too long.” Twilight says, still taking long breaths as she preps her mind. She had to be ready, as Chrysalis was a foe that could pull off a trick or a trap at anytime.
“Aye Aye, Twilight.” Spike said with a salute.
“Alright then, you ready to go, Twilight?” You ask her.
“I’m ready. Besides, I had just made another promise to help reform her. So it’s not like I can just run away now, right?” Twilight said as she gave you a warming smile, hiding away her true nervousness over the entire situation.
You nod, good. Wasting no time, you teleport you and Twilight to Chrysalis’s location.
Hidden above, making himself a fixture on the ceiling, was Discord. Silently staring, eating his popcorn.
You and Twilight appeared in front of the rather quaint lair of Chrysalis. The exterior of the home you made for her looked like a very small but cozy cabin, minus the chimney.
“She lives here? Hmm…” Twilight began to look at the home as she gently placed her hoof on the door. “That’s nice of you to do this for her, Anon. I can see why she considers you a friend.”
“Trust me, Twilight, this is not something she’d consider when it comes to our friendship. It runs much deeper than that. The way me and Chrysalis work is just understanding one another, sharing a laugh together, doing something we both would like, even if it is something ponies wouldn't accept.” You explain to her, calming your mind. If this was going to happen, you’d also not have to take Chrysalis’s shit either. You begin to paw at your horn, ready to defend either Chrysalis or Twilight at a moment’s notice.
“So, like a regular friendship? I just don’t understand it then. If she is capable of being a good friend, then why? Why still be evil? Why would she purposely make herself lonely if she enjoys the company of others, like you and her children?” Twilight asked, unable to figure it out.
“Because she has ambitions, Twilight. They may be evil, but they are still hers. Hopefully, with this meeting, we might be able to fix that. But, Twilight, seriously. I need you NOT to go on some friendship monologue, tirade, or crusade, ok? Like seriously, don’t be too goody goody here. Just stay down to earth.” You explain, because dammit, you did not need Twilight going off on some spiel about goodness and niceness.
“Anon, I think I can handle it. I think I know enough about friendship to properly manage the situation, considering I am the princess of it.” Twilight said, feeling sure of herself.
“Yeah, well, you’re about to learn a whole new lesson in friendship when it comes to me and her. So again, just don’t be so righteous and we should be fine. Chrysalis is going to say a lot of things that are going to set you off. Just don’t let yourself get bothered by it and it should be fine.” Christ, it really is amazing that Diamond can handle the fucking situation better than Twilight can. “I’m going to knock on the door now, ok? Let me do the talking. Remember, she’s my friend, let me take the lead here.”
Twilight nods “Alright, I understand. This is to help her, I got that. It just seems so strange to me how different this seems already.”
“Yeah, well, Twilight, friendships come in all forms. Didn’t you realize that with my Dad and Aunt Fluttershy?” You ask her.
“I did, it’s just, Mnnnn… It just seems so weird even saying it, even after everything. You and her being friends, it still seems surreal.” Twilight replies before steadying herself, looking determined to make everything work. “But I can do this. You can count on me, Anon, I won’t let you down. We will make this work.”
Damn better, because this could go all kinds of wrong if a misstep is made. But, nothing would happen at all until the first actual step is done. So, you finally knock on the door, and make yourself known. “Chrysalis? Hey! It’s Anon again. Um, I know I’m here after I just saw you this morning, but I really think we should talk about the whole ‘evil scheme’ thing.”
“Ah, Anon, I have been expecting you, though not so soon. Are you alone? We could just spend some time watching another documentary instead. Or, perhaps, you could add a shower for me to use, luxurious in nature of course.” Chrysalis says from behind the door, seeming well natured and much more calm than she was when you ran into her with Diamond. A-and a shower? How could you forget that? E-especially… NO, ANON, NO!
“Actually, I brought a friend that I think you should really speak to.” You say
“Ah, now this is much sooner than I expected indeed. If my guess is correct, it should be Princess Twilight Sparkle, correct?” Chrysalis said, her tone becoming a little darker as she says Twilight’s name.
W-what?! You expected a sudden rage, an opening of the door with her scowling at the other end, something. B-but, she was expecting this? Was it a trap? You gulp, and grip your horn as you and Twilight look to each other silently, confused.
“That silence, you weren’t expecting that, were you? I did say you could tell the Princesses after all, so I knew that little snoop of a princess would want to investigate eventually, I just didn’t expect it this soon, didn’t even have time to prepare myself for the little negotiation we’re about to have. If you’re expecting any kind of trap, don’t, I’m not foolish enough to try anything against you and an alicorn.” Chrysalis says with a very low chuckle.
Well, that wasn’t exactly true when it came to Twilight snooping, and you just didn’t want to go and say…
“Actually, this was my assistant’s suggestion. And I’m glad we listened to him. Chrysalis, I would love to have a negotiation with you. I think it’ll be the start of a new friendship between us.” Twilight said, cheerfully and proudly before looking to you with a wink and whispering. “How was that?”
Oh god, this will not go well. You didn’t even know what to say to that, and neither did Chrysalis it seemed, as she said nothing nor did she go and unlock her door. You gulp, whisper to Twilight that it was ‘fine’ despite it not being that, and then call out to Chrysalis. “Chrysalis? You alright? Are you going to let us in?”
“Y-yes, I just suddenly felt ill. I’ll just… Get the door.” She said, her dominating mood suddenly extinguished by Twilight’s friendly nature.
“Ill? Chrysalis, if you nee-” Twilight tried to be just a little more friendly up until the door opened, Chrysalis staring at her with a less than pleased stare.
“I’d appreciate it if you stopped caring about my well being and step inside” Chrysalis said as she turned around, mumbling to herself. “Tch, her assistant she says. There’s no way that’s right, if it was, then I’m a flower loving filly.” However, she also didn’t realize she was still quite audible. That was pretty cute, actually, being flustered that her prediction was wrong. Hopefully though, this doesn’t explode in your face. Because the air right now was all kinds of off.
Chapter 110 - The Visit with Chrysalis - Serious Time
So there you all were, sitting at a table with little seats you conjured up, with little drinks and little treats. Chrysalis and Twilight were staring at each other. Chrysalis with visibly mild interest, Twilight with nervousness, and you were wondering how the fuck this even happened. “So, uh, anypony actually gonna say something? Because I’m not gonna lie, this is pretty weird.”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes “If I must, I am the host of this little party after all.” Chrysalis then looks to Twilight as she magically raises her tea cup and takes a sip. “So, Princess, here we are, face to face, all over a problem you assume is an issue. Well, what is it then, out with it.”
Twilight stays calm, which was pretty good considering she was in the belly of the beast right now. Chrysalis, to her, seemed willing to listen and looked rather cool and collected rather than in rage or insane. “Chrysalis, I’ve heard what you’ve been going th-” But Chrysalis cut her off right there, almost angry in tone.
“I said for you to stop caring about my well being. It is of no concern to you, and further conversation about it will…” Chrysalis looks to you, and sighs, feeling that at the moment, she had to bide her time. "For me to ask you to leave. Now then, what is your grievance?”
Twilight just looks to her a moment, brings up her own cup with her magic, and sips. “My grievance is with your supposed ‘evil’ plan. Chrysalis, you can’t just expect me to let you have your deal with Anon when we both know other ponies’ safety are at stake.”
Chrysalis smirks a little hearing that, leaning forward as she stares at Twilight. “And why would you expect me to care about the safety of other ponies, hm?”
“Chrysalis…” Dammit, because Twilight is right in that sense. Chrysalis has gotten a certain taste of the darker side of atrocity and evil, she could very well go further than what she originally was willing before. Sure, you were sure she could be stopped. But, you did have to consider now, that she was willing to do anything to win. “Twilight is right. As much as I care about you, I can’t let you hurt anypony either. Even with all our resources, I know what you’re capable of. Look, is this all really worth it? How do you even expect anypony to accept you after you pull off whatever you’re thinking you can pull off?”
“Ah! Good question!” Chrysalis said with glee as she stepped out of her chair and walked towards the window to gaze through to the forest outside. “It’s very true, isn’t it? How would I be able to allow you all to reform me if I ended up hurting one of your precious friends. How, I wonder?” Chrysalis then looks to Twilight with an evil foreboding glare and a cruel little smile. “What if the pony I intend on destroying is the only one liable to get hurt? What if I make a promise to only destroy that one pony? It should be easier for you all to let me do as I wish if you only need to worry about one life.”
Twilight, getting angry at what she assumed was a threat on Celestia’s life, jumps from her chair in anger. “Chrysalis, I will NOT let you lay a single hoof on Princess Celestia! And if you even think I can trust you not to hurt anypony along the way, then I’m sorry, I cannot allow you to do anything if that’s how you’re going to be!”
“How, presumptuous of you, Princess.” Chrysalis said with a giggle. “Why would I go after her?”
“What?” Twilight said in confusion. Hell, you were confused. You could have sworn that was where her hate boner was pointing towards.
“It’s as I said, I don’t intend to attack Celestia at all. You see, little Twilight Sparkle, prodigy and well loved student of the very princess you assume I want destroyed, she isn’t the one I plan on attacking. I came to realize after Anon left my home here that destroying Celestia is meaningless. What is the point of destroying her when I can make her suffer?” Chrysalis sets her sights on Twilight, looking directly into her eyes.
“Make her suffer? What are you talking about?” Twilight asked, cautiously readying herself in case Chrysalis tries something.
“Making her suffer is my plan. And to accomplish that plan, I need to take away something from her that will bring her the same eternal torment I feel now. Now, to do that, I could destroy her sister and be done with it. But why do that when your destruction would not only devastate her, but would also devastate ALL closest to you? If you think I’m not willing to add on to this by exacting my revenge on your brother and sister-in-law for their little magical burst, then you’re more foolish than I realize.” Chrysalis said, cackling evilly as she finished her sentence.
Twilight’s horn began to glow as she readied herself for combat. “Chrysalis, you’ve gone too far! I should have known this would be a trap! And to use Anon, the one you call your friend, to orchestrate it! That’s low, even for you!”
Goddamit, you bring your hoof to your face as you look to Twilight, annoyed. “Twilight, sheesh, will you stop? Chrysalis isn’t ACTUALLY going to attack you right now, it’d be suicide.”
“Anon, you can’t just defend her! Didn’t you hear her? This was a trap to lure me here and, huh?” Twilight turned her attention away from Chrysalis for a moment to speak to you, but when she looked back at Chrysalis, she was laying on her bed, using her magic to raise her remote and use it to turn on her TV. “What’s going on? I thought…”
“You thought what? That I’d honestly try to fight when I have barely any love to fuel my more dangerous spells and magic? Oh yes, Princess, please, let me attempt to destroy you with the equivalent of a pebble as you blast me to smithereens.” Chrysalis says with an eye roll, switching her DVD on and putting on Starship Troopers. She was speeding through it though, fast forwarding it. “No wonder Discord loves to toy with you, you absolutely react to everything.”
Twilight blinked for a moment, then got annoyed as she yelled out “I do not! And I don’t let Discord toy with me! And I still don’t trust you! Do you really think that even if I am your target, that I’d just let you try when everypony’s lives are still at stake? I know what you do, Chrysalis. I know what you’re capable of!” Twilight barked at her, feeling defensive over Chrysalis’s comment.
“Ugh, fine then. Anon, front and center please, and put that horn on your head.” Chrysalis said as she put down the remote.
“Wha? What do you mean? Chrysalis, what’s up?” You ask her as you hop off your chair, confused.
“Your stupid princess is ‘what’s up’. How are we supposed to make any progress when she won’t even let me attempt to destroy her? Well, if she’s THAT worried over her subjects, then we’ll just need to make sure a safeguard is in place so none of her precious little peons are hurt. Now, put on the horn.” Chrysalis says again, a little more forcefully this time.
“Why does that need my horn though? What, do you expect me to lock you both in some kind of pocket dimension so you can duke it out?” You cautiously place the horn on your head as you asked, but you don’t step any closer towards Chrysalis, wary of her motives.
“As you said, Anon, it’d be suicide to attack her now, no matter the field of battle. No, this is more of a precaution. She wants what she wants, just like I want what I want, and you want what you want. I’ve been studying up on some alternative magics lately, and I think chaos magic can help with the little dilemma we all find ourselves in right now. Now, come over here, raise your hoof towards me, and ask me to promise not to hurt anypony but her.” Chrysalis says as she beckons you with her hoof.
“Chrysalis, what are you doing?” Twilight asked, confused as to what was going on. But Chrysalis nor you paid her no mind.
“I mean, I guess. But what does that have to do with my horn? What, do you expect me to use it as a lie detector or something?” You asked, very slowly stepping towards her.
“Yes, exactly that. With chaos magic, it shouldn’t be too hard to try to figure out if I am truly lying or not, right? Would that satisfy you, Princess Twilight?” Chrysalis asked, looking to Twilight with a cool and smug look.
“No… But…” Twilight was, in truth, curious to see if chaos magic could truly cut through her bullshit and sense if she was telling the truth. “I am interested in this, I admit. Are you saying chaos magic can detect the truth? Really?”
“I am. Now, Anon, do it. Ask me the question, and raise your hoof. You should know what to do with my answer.” Chrysalis said, still beckoning to you until you were in front of her bed. Her bed itself was more of a giant cat bed more than anything, with a fluffy softness and lots of pillows for her to cuddle with.
She just looked at you from said bed, waiting. Hm, what could it hurt? Though, even you didn’t know if chaos magic could see through her crap, but Twilight was right, it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot, even if nothing comes from it. “Ok, do you promise not to hurt anypony but Twilight, I mean, with this plan of yours and all?”
Chrysalis thrusts her hoof forward to touch yours, and looks to you with a more crazed look than evil. “I bet my very life on it.”
Suddenly, there is a dark burst of magic that hits the legs of both you and Chrysalis, sending you back a few inches with a sudden blast. You start to freak out as black shackles appear on all your legs, Chrysalis gaining her own shackles as well, even if they were hard to see due to her own jet black exoskeleton. The fuck just… Wait. OH GOD NO!
“Anon! What just happened?! What did she do!” Twilight aimed her horn at Chrysalis, ready to fight. “What did you do to him!”
No, NO NO NO NO! WAS SHE FUCKING CRAZY?! “Twilight, stop!” Chrysalis! You fucking…
“But she…” No, fuck that shit, shut up, Twilight!
“No, she didn’t do anything to me! She just freaking bet her life! That’s what she did!” How did she?! Fuck, it must have been a fucking ‘devil’s deal’ kind of spell! She tricked you! But no… NO! Not like this! Goddammit! You rush up back to Chrysalis, and angrily point at her. “Chrysalis, please tell me you didn’t just bet your freaking life! Tell me you didn’t just do that!”
Chrysalis shrugged. “I did. I knew you’d do what I asked, and I also knew Princess Freakout wouldn’t approve of anything without a good incentive.” Chrysalis then looks over to Twilight with a smirk. “You understand what just happened, don’t you? Now I have no choice but to solely target you for my plan. If anypony else gets hurt, Twilight, then I will be no more.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide. That spell, it really did happen, she could sense it was real. But even more mindblowing, she just saw an ancient villain, one who could not be trusted, bet her very life to make sure she was her only target. “But… Why? Why would you go that far? Why would you put your very life on the line for petty revenge?”
“Because that’s just the kind of girl I am, Twilight. But you should realize I even made such a risk because Anon here is of some importance to me. I enjoy his company, he makes me feel more cheerful on dull and unmemorable days, and I enjoy the sleeping evil within him. And so total victory or utter defeat are my only options. Winning gets me my revenge, losing means I have to agree to go on his pitiful little quest for redemption. Is that enough of an explanation for you?” Chrysalis says as she raises her remote again. “Because I’d like to spend some time with the both of you. Twilight, I’m sure you’d be interested in at least an excerpt of Anon’s human history, right? Because this part of the documentary, I think you'll find most interesting.”
“Chrysalis, how could you shrug off something like that?!” You cut in, in disbelief on how easily fooled you were. “You just bet your life! And on something like this?! Why!? I know you, that kind of deal, I know you can’t keep it!”
Chrysalis looked to you, her smile more genuine. She then yawned and rolled on her back. “How adorable, but you forget, I do want my revenge and I’ll do anything to have it. Oh, and don’t bother telling me I can’t just act at all to sustain my life. If nothing is done, then eventually the bonds on these legs will end me.”
BULLSHIT! “You can’t know that! It wasn’t even part of the deal! How could you possibly know?!”
“I think I’d know the spell I tricked you into casting, Anon. Besides, life would be easier for you this way. I know my destruction or the failure of my plan would solve all your problems. Think of this as a gift, Anon, a way for me to attempt my plan without too much blame being placed on you. Though, I suppose me succeeding would change things up as well. So, Princess…” Chrysalis looked over to Twilight, her gentle smile becoming arrogant. “What say you? Will you use this opportunity to end me? You now have a way to erase my existence without having to even raise a single hoof. You could seal me away, and the spell will take care of the rest. Or, we can play things my way, and let me have my little scheme.”
Twilight fell silent. She didn’t expect this, she didn’t know how far Chrysalis was willing to go until today. She couldn’t see it at first, but she could really see Chrysalis didn’t take losing her children all too well, her madness being evident. There was something… Something she had to test. Because it was clear there seemed to be some friendship between you and her as well. But this madness, was it making her see you as just another object? Right now, Twilight couldn’t see Chrysalis a hero of another dimension, a sister, or a friend. And so, wanting to see the truth, she just had to see how far Chrysalis has truly gone. “I see, so you really want to see me destroyed. So, are you truly willing to go that far to destroy me, Chrysalis? Even using Anon to meet your own ends?”
“What are you babbling about? I evened the playing field, didn’t I? You’re the only one I want destroyed. Your destruction will cause Celestia to suffer for as long as she exists. So yes, I used Anon to force you to agree to my terms, so what? Besides, I already know I'm safe. You’re not willing to destroy me. You’re too set in your ways. And even if you weren't, you'd still take Anon into consideration anyway, friendship and all that.” Chrysalis rolled back onto her stomach, trying to figure out why Twilight didn’t seem to get the stakes, the terms, and the idea of her bet.
Twilight nodded, and suddenly, you were caught in a purple aura. Twilight was pinning you down with her magic while keeping her eye on Chrysalis. “What the?! T-Twilight! What are you doing?!”
“I’m sorry, Anon. I know Fluttershy and Discord won’t like this, it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But it’s clear to me that you’re too dangerous. your actions have led to this, a plot to end me, a plot to cause true disarray in the land, all over revenge. Chrysalis, I may not know much about chaos magic, but severing Anon’s connection to Discord should free you from your own insane bet. You will then have a choice. A proper trial, or immediate imprisonment. The choice is yours. Either way, say goodbye to Anon.” Twilight’s horn began to glow brighter.
“HOLY WHAT?! TWILIGHT, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GYAH!” You couldn’t even grab your horn! Oh no! Not this shit again! Fuck fuck fuck!
“What are you doing?!” Chrysalis stood up, visibly becoming angry. “You’re bluffing, You can’t expect me to believe you’d send Anon away over this!”
“I can, and I will. Anon, for all the good he has done, has also put too many at risk too many times. He’s too dangerous, we both know that. I also know you can’t stop me, you said so yourself. So really, you don’t scare me at all.” Twilight said, looking to Chrysalis with a dominating look.
What in the fuck was she talking about?! What the fuck did you do?! “TWILIIIIIGHT!”
Chrysalis actually quivered, her expression becoming vicious in a motherly fashion as her own horn began to glow. “Twilight Sparkle, if you dare. IF YOU DARE! I will not rest until you are destroyed, do you hear me?! I will make sure you suffer for weeks on end before I grant you the MERCY of destruction!”
Twilight nods, and immediately lets you go, her expression softening ever so softly. “I don’t dare, Chrysalis. And despite your threat, I now know you are capable of caring about another. You’re capable of friendship, love, and companionship. If Anon was in danger, you really would risk your life to save him. And I’m sure he’d do the same for you, he pretty much has so far.”
“Are you telling me you bluffed me to prove some insipid, stupid, disgusting point about me! ME! YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME THAT WELL?! PRINCESS?! HOW DARE YOU EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND ME! WHY DOES EVERYPONY THINK THEY GET ME?!” Chrysalis was in a rage. Sure, she was pissed off that she was tricked by Twilight. But even worse, the only reason she believed Twilight was because of the possibility of… “...I was too obvious.” Chrysalis realized it, realized why she was easily tricked. She looks to you, then back to Twilight. “Alright then, so I have a vice. That doesn’t mean much when it comes to your safety, Twilight. I still intend to enact my plan.”
“Hmm…” Twilight was still conflicted to allow her to try. And yet, she was the Princess of Friendship, it was her duty to help those who sought acceptance and love. This was the ultimate test, wasn’t it? To help Chrysalis, she’d have to put herself at risk. Nobody else was going to like it, but if it meant finally putting an end to a possible evil, she had to take it. “I accept that. But I’d really like to get to know you better, to know how you and Anon are. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” Twilight didn’t look pleased about any of it, but she got the information she wanted.
Christ, you had to check yourself after that. Fuck, Twilight means fucking business if she was willing to try that. But Chrysalis, wow, you didn’t know if she considered you a brother or a friend at this point, that was pretty defensive. “Look, are we done with the whole ‘anime, aha just as planned’ stuff? I’d rather not be used as a poker chip right now, please?” Like goddamn, you were shaking.
Chrysalis was silent, thinking, wondering. She was exposed, but she got what she wanted, and a part of her cared about that. She had to now play her cards right. She already had a plan in the works, but if she could learn how Twilight thinks...
Well, for now, she'd just have to play along. And she did have something in mind for 'bonding'. “I suppose that’s one of the reasons, even though nopony said it. But yes, fine, let’s take things down a notch, I wanted to show you something anyway. Anon, as for you, stop being such a baby. You act as if no one has ever manipulated you before.”
“G-geez, thanks for caring. Christ…” Holy fuck, man, what the fuck was all that shit?!
Chapter 111 - The Visit with Chrysalis - Super Serious Time
Twilight had apologized to you, whispering to you that it was necessary to see Chrysalis’s true stance on friendship or some nonsense like that. No shit, Twilight, it’s not like you're suspicious of everything every goddamn time! And Chrysalis? Yeah, of course she’s going to fall for it, she has nothing left, desperate, and would be afraid of losing someone she can still relate to. You just sat there, stunned, trying to put everything together. And most of all, you were pissed.
Chrysalis internally, wasn’t too pleased as well, but she knew she couldn’t just attack Twilight. No, instead she’d actually try to do what you wanted. She’d look past Twilight’s threat and just try her own version of ‘bonding’ with Twilight. Though, in truth, she really didn’t care for that either. Chrysalis is what Chrysalis always does, she schemes, even if is but a tiny scheme. She points to the screen, which has been paused with Lt. Jean and his team investigating the attacked outpost. “Now then, Princess, if you’ll look at the screen, I think you’ll notice something of great interest to you.”
Twilight looks over to the screen, it only shows the outpost, paused at what looked like a seemingly innocent moment. “What is that? It looks like some kind of camp or base in a canyon.” Twilight kept one eye on Chrysalis, while trying to remain friendly for your sake. "Looks rather elaborate too."
“You’d be correct! However, the reason as to why this would be of interest to you is because it contains a piece of actual human history. This is a very real documentation of Anon’s universe, the war against Klendathu.” Chrysalis said, preparing to play the events that are about to unfold. “I know you find violence rather abhorrent, but a scholar like you surely can’t resist the chance to see humans in any capacity. Namely, one who is a cowardly leader, and another willing to do whatever it takes, even if it costs his own life. Such contrast… Even if I have to admit that Jean's allegiance to good is rather unfortunate, but humans make it interesting enough for it not to matter.”
“Hmmm…” Twilight was indeed fascinated. She was wary, but looking at the strange high definition screen in front of her, she couldn’t help but feel this was too good an opportunity to waste when it came to learning about some of your ‘culture’. “Well, we should take this opportunity to relax, get to know each other more, and in this case, learn about each other. I admit, I had been wondering about what Earth was like for a very long time. Anon…” Twilight turns to you, ignorant of your anger towards her. "Is this really part of your old world? It’s not too violent, is it? Because I would like the chance to see what things were like. U-unless it offends you.”
“Oh no, Twilight, go ahead, take a look. It’ll be really interesting.” You tell her, trying your best to sound calm.
“Ok, u-uhm.” Twilight was trying, she was going to really try now, to be friendly with Chrysalis. Especially if she was willing to give her this chance. It could even increase the chances that Chrysalis’s evil plot could be less evil or even something trivial if she could actually make a bond with her. “Alright, Chrysalis, I’m ready to watch.” Twilight said as she planted her butt to the ground, eager to see what was going to happen.
“Alright then, let’s jus-hmm? Hmnnn…” Chrysalis muttered as she kept clicking on the remote, but nothing was happening, it wasn’t playing the movie or even responding to any of the button presses. “What is with this stupid thing?! It’s suddenly… Hmmm?” That’s when Chrysalis noticed it, she looked over to you to see you had your horn on. She then looked to the screen and saw it had just magically skipped to the part where Zander and Carmen are kneeling to the brain bug. She knew what was going to happen next, and she could sense your overwhelming anger from being used by Twilight. Chrysalis only took a moment to ponder. Yes, she could now tell that that it really was Twilight that angered you, and you were about to give her quite a spook. She felt it would be best not to interrupt.
“Oh? Are those humans? Amazing! Though, I sort of expected there to be some movement or even sound to this documentary. Why do they look so distressed? Is there going to be a call to arms?” Twilight said as she moved closer to the TV to examine Zander and Carmen. “Interesting… Almost like smaller minotaurs, but their heads aren’t bull like at all, nor does it have fur anywhere, there aren’t even any horns on their head. Frame, smaller than that of a minotaur too. And if I were to guess, the one on the right is a female, isn’t she?”
“Oh yes, that’s right, Twilight. That’s exactly right. As for the sound and movement, well, it should be on soon.” Chrysalis looked to you, trying to make a verbal signal for you to let it play. “Anon, you are focused on the screen as well, aren’t you?”
Shut up, Chrysalis! Of course you were focused on the damn screen. You just wanted to make sure Twilight was too. “Yeah, just make sure you take this all in, Twilight. Human documentaries are very informational.”
“Got it! Alright, I’m focudsGFSDAsAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS! GYAH! WHA! OHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH! DID THAT?! DID THAT GIANT JELLY THING JUST! HIS SKULL, IS IT! IS IT?!” Twilight grabbed onto her own head, feeling as if something truly vital to her was being sucked out, even though it wasn’t. “IS THAT THING SUCKING OUT HIS BRAIN?! IS HE?! OH MY GOSH! HE’S… HE’S!” Twilight practically flew back, her entire coat white from fright. She was actually on the ceiling, like a fucking insect herself, hopping around from the horror she saw until she realized she wasn’t a bug and fell back to the ground. Twilight quickly jumped back up and then turned her attention to Chrysalis, now angry as to what had just occurred. “Chrysalis! You-You did that on purpose! How could you!? T-That was the… Ngh.” Twilight began to hold on to her stomach as she began to go from white to near green “I feel like I’m going to be sick. That couldn’t have happened, that can’t be real.”
“Oh, suck it up, Princess. What happened happened and the realities of war within another universe just so happen to be nightmarish compared to our own. “ Chrysalis said, holding back a gigantic sinister giggle. She then pointed to you, rolling her eyes towards Twilight. “Besides, he’s the one who brought it to that scene.”
“Anon?” Twilight then turned to you, surprised and confused as her purple color began to return to her “Did you… Did you really do this? Why would you show me something that horrifying? What’s gotten into you?”
Your eye twitched at that. ‘What’s gotten into you?’ she says. Was she kidding? Did she think an apology would fix things?! Fuck that, you did not like being used in that way. ESPECIALLY when the last time she had done something like that, she had meant it. “Oh, what, Twilight? You didn’t find that interesting?”
“I found it deplorable. Anon, seriously, why did you do that?! That guy’s brain, it just…” Twilight gulped. She was still afraid, and she had also noticed you were looking at her rather angrily. Was it because...? “Are you mad at me? I-I said I was sorry, I thought we had an understanding.”
“You know, Twilight, sorry just doesn’t magically make the fact that your bluff was at my expense! The fact you just decided to use me? Just like Celestia does! Just like Luna does! Just like…” Does Cadance use you? Nah fuck that, just stick to your major points. “Whatever, the point is that you just decide to use whoever is convenient for whatever you’re about to do! Didn’t ask me, didn’t tell me, didn’t do anything to warn me! You just made the threat and there you go! Did you honestly think I’d just let that slide?! Really?!”
“A-Anon, I really didn’t mean to upset you that badly. But…” Twilight now tried to stay calm, collecting herself and thinking the situation through. “I think you’re exaggerating. We princesses don’t use others like that, that isn’t how it is. I can understand why you’re upset, but you don’t need to go that far with it. I’m sorry, alright? I promise not to let that happen again. I understand the situation is a little sensitive, but if we just stay c-” Nope, you weren’t going to let her finish that sentence, you didn’t even want to hear the word ‘calm’.
“No, you stay calm and listen to me! How are you going to tell me the princesses don’t use others?! They abuse their position, Twilight, and you do too!” You say as you angrily point your hoof at her.
“He’s right. As a ruler, I too enjoy using others to bring about my own ambitions.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle, enjoying the show.
“That isn’t how ponies do it!” Twilight snaps back before refocusing on you. “And what examples?! Anon, calm down, you don’t know what you’re saying, none of the princesses are like that! How could you even say that after all the good they’ve done!”
“Oh, I dunno, Twilight, maybe because I’m not wrong! But fine, you think I’m exaggerating? Then let’s go over just some examples of Celestia and Luna in particular doing things that are both manipulative and downright cruel. Now, mentioning the fact Celestia herself had you come to Ponyville for reasons you yourself had only assumed would be moot, as would the tickets to the gala. But the fact that she put the fate of the Crystal Empire on you over a test was kind of insane. Even further, she expected you to solve Starswirl’s spell at the possible cost of your friends being cutie swapped forever! And in between all that, despite me liking my Dad, she did drop him off in a prereformed state and risked all of Equestria on a notion that he could be made an ally. Y’know, now that I think about that, I really don’t see how ANYPONY can have a problem with me and Chrysalis when Celestia pulled the same crap! And don’t forget her putting Dad in charge of taking down Tirek without any supervision, because that went super ok! Like, geez Twilight, how could you tell me she hasn’t done anything when she has put Equestria in danger just based on a whim? She can’t even handle her own sister without there being an issue from time to time. So tell me, how does she not manipulate ponies, tell me how she doesn’t.” You explained, and then awaited Twilight’s answer.
Twilight was stunned. She had never considered any of that, nor did she ever come to any realization that Celestia had ever used anypony ever. That couldn’t be true, could it? All those things happened, but was it under the intention of using others? “A-Anon, I d-don’t…” Oh, but you weren’t done yet.
“Hold on, Twilight, I didn’t even get to the ‘thought policing’ that is Princess Luna. Forget the fact that she keeps tabs on me whenever I freaking sleep, there’s the fact she keeps tabs on everypony too, regardless of if they're having a nightmare or not. Twilight, we’re talking about that she will cause a nightmare herself just to teach some sort of lesson. What gives her the right?! Not only are some of the lessons she wants to teach is something she could just explain to them verbally, but the way she teaches such lessons is just as horrifying as what I just did to you. Case in point, Scootaloo. There was a time she went camping with her friends and their sisters, also Rainbow Dash. Got told some story that spooked her, but she pretended it didn’t affect her at all. So what does Luna do? Give her ridiculous nightmares that make her lose sleep and causes her to nearly kill herself, every night, until she’s able to face her fear. And no, don’t tell me those nightmares were already there, I’ve seen how Luna operates. So don’t go acting as if what I just did was a grievous action, because it wasn’t. Ok, Twilight? Because you know, you just know, you’ve done that kind of crap too. Aunt Fluttershy could have been a batpony forever because of your spell, or heck, forget even that. You talk friendship, but you really didn’t seem like you wanted to give Starlight, Trixie, or Chrysalis here a chance. Oh, and don’t forget you were mostly against trying to reform my Dad in the first place. So, how can you tell me, after hearing all that, that you princesses don’t just use others to meet your own ends, hm? Tell me. Tell me none of that happened and that I’m wrong, do it! ”
Chrysalis just laid there on her bed, wide eyed, impressed. She was stunned. She had never seen you go on such a tirade before, enough of a tirade to actually blow away someone like Twilight. She found it interesting, she found the whole thing interesting actually. But it also made her wonder, and then it hit her. “Wait, are you telling me that I get all this disdain for what I do but the Princess of the Night gets to traumatize foals without anypony saying a word? And they call me wretched.”
“She doesn’t! Ngh… But it’s not… Princess Celestia isn’t…” Twilight didn’t know what to say, because hearing all that now, it was all things that actually happened. She could argue it was for the sake of good and friendship, but she couldn’t deny that some of them didn’t sound too good morally. She also couldn’t deny that on some of Celestia’s missions or tests, failure would have meant doom. And then there was herself. Despite being all about friendship, she did have a myriad of trust issues she hadn’t even considered. And finally, she had to admit, she used you for her own ends. “I…”
“C’mon, Twilight, spit it out! Or are you just going to justify everything? Like geez, Twilight, you say we’re friends, you want me to go to your school, and yet here I am being used as your freaking bluff against the changeling queen I’m trying to reform. Y’know, now I can see why Aunt Fluttershy at least gives me a chance without too much trouble, she was the one who reformed Dad. Meanwhile you and the princesses suddenly have a big problem when it comes to her!” You yell out, pointing at Chrysalis. “Makes me wonder if you don’t just use Spike sometimes as well.”
“I don’t! Don’t say that!” Twilight finally blurted out without hesitation. “Spike and I are a team! No, more than that, we’re like family! We are family! He’s always been there for me, not because he’s my assistant, but because he’s my friend. Anon…” And that’s when Twilight felt unsure again, unsure about a lot of things. But everything had a purpose, right? Everything always worked out. But even then, there was always the possibility that it didn’t. Even worse, there really was no way to justify a lot of what you said at all without it sounding tyrannical. Tyrannical, that word. She shifted her focus to Chrysalis. “Chrysalis, can I ask you a question?”
“Oh, are we ACTUALLY going to be friendly to one another? Because I have to admit, your suffering would be fattening if I could feast on it properly. But, ah, I suppose I’m being a bad host now. Go ahead, Princess, ask your useless question.” Chrysalis couldn’t pass up taunting her, the moment was too good, she could see Twilight couldn’t logic her way out of this one.
“I want you to be honest with me. If I really let you have your chance at destroying me, and you fail, will you give reformation a chance? For Anon’s sake, I just want to know the truth.” Twilight asked, her tone was unsettled, weak.
“What kind of question is that? I said I’d do it, didn’t I?” Chrysalis said, feeling rather insulted.
“I mean it! Because I know, it’s not just us princesses, but you too have used him to meet your own ends. I’m asking you, one potential friend to another, to tell me the truth. Tell me this isn’t just a ruse to try to destroy me with you hiding back into the Everfree Forest if you fail. If you win, then it’s all on me for failing. But if you lose, you can’t just come back here. Otherwise…” Twilight’s lower lips quivered before she said her next words. “You’ll be no better than us.”
Chrysalis’s eyes narrowed towards Twilight “Are you implying I can’t keep my word, and that failing to do so would make me the equivalent to you princesses? You listen to me, fool, I don’t use others to teach some silly lesson about love and friendship, I just use them. That will always be a step above what you’re capable of doing. As for keeping my word, I think I can do it. Listening to Anon, I think it’d give me the perfect opportunity to show you that I can even outclass you do gooding ponies at your own game as well. That is, if you succeed in stopping me.” Chrysalis said with a cold grin.
“Good, then I should make a promise I intend to keep as well.” Twilight said with a nod as she turned to you. “Anon, I promise, I really promise. I’ll watch myself from now on, and I won’t use you or anypony else for any kind of plan. If I have to, I’ll ask first, as I should. Nopony has a right to use others like that. I’ll even have a counsel with the other princesses, we’ll get this all sorted out, promise. I promise all of these things. I also apologize, I mean it, Anon. We’re supposed to be a team too, and I just did that without thinking about your feelings at all, and that’s wrong. I can really see that now.”
“Tch, Anon, are you really going to fall for something so sappy after making such a power move?” Chrysalis asked, finding Twilight’s apology disgustingly wimpy.
You nod, but you aren’t truly content. “I am, and that’s because, as friends, I need this all to work. Considering all the crap you’ve pulled that I’ve forgiven, Chrysalis, I think I can let this slide too.” You then look to Twilight. “I’m telling you Twilight, don’t do that again. I’m not Pinkie, or Aunt Fluttershy, or anypony else that will just look over stuff like this over and over. That was really screwed up, you get me?” No, like seriously, you were not going to hug this shit out like her friends would. “And please, try not to lose sleep over it either? What’s done is done. Egh…” You got what you wanted to say out, you would hope that it would serve as a reminder for Twilight not to pull this shit.
“I understand.” Twilight nods to you. She wanted to give you a reassuring hug, but she didn’t want to become overbearing when you seemed sensitive on the subject. “And Chrysalis? I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have tested you like that and-” But Chrysalis cuts her off.
“Save it, I don’t want to hear it nor do I need an apology from you. In retrospect, it was a well played and underhooved move, and let us leave it at that. I’d rather be moody from being tricked than be forgiven in such a pathetic manner. Either way, watching you writhe to such truths was entertaining, that more than makes up for your trick.” Chrysalis said
“Good.” Twilight said with a nod, smiling at her.
“Good? As in, what just happened to you was good? Or the fact that I won’t let you apologize is good?” Chrysalis was confused now, what did Twilight mean?
“I mean the former. I deserved it, and if that entertained you, then alright, I should have expected that it would. I think I’m beginning to understand you more, Chrysalis. I think, despite your scheming, we can become closer before we leave today.” Twilight said to her, feeling confident.
“Oooooooooogh, even when she’s torn down she’s insufferable.” Chrysalis groaned as she let her head plop onto her bed. “Maybe I really should have focused on Celestia, she wouldn’t have even tried to make friends with me with such disgusting attempts.”
Well, that was at least something. Twilight seemed to finally be on the ball, and Chrysalis was being less threatening as time went on. You looked down, then back at them. Was this it? Could you accomplish your goal? Hopefully, and hopefully at the same time, Chrysalis and Twilight would stop their shit. “Well, I’m just going to rewind this to the beginning then, and maybe we can see how that works out.” Well, Twilight had already seen the scariest thing the movie had to offer in terms of what a brainy pony she is. And if it let you get closer to Chrysalis, then Chrysalis should be able to get closer to Twilight if Twilight too enjoys what she is seeing. God, let her enjoy it.
Chapter 112 - The Visit with Chrysalis - Movie Time Part 1
Twilight sat there, feeling tense as she looked to the frozen screen. She looked to you, then back to the TV, still feeling apologetic about what had transpired. You yourself were just trying to let loose the tenseness you felt. Goddammit though, Twilight was a fucking handful, she better have actually understood what you told her or else that was it, you’d REALLY give her a reason to hide in her little castle and cry.
Chrysalis, who you gave control back to the movie player, just groaned as she rested her head on her legs. “Look, I know everypony is rather moody right now. And yes, I know this may surprise everypony as well, but I’d actually like to play the documentary and see what Twilight has to say about it.”
Twilight’s ears flicked in surprise as she looked back to Chrysalis, confused. “What? You’re actually interested in my input?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? I can sense that you’re probably thinking I just want to see you scared again, but let me tell you this; I adore this documentary, I love how it is presented, and I enjoy the soldiers who would have theoretically made perfect commanders for my…” Chrysalis stops there, she didn’t want to finish that sentence, she had no changeling children to compare to it. She sighed, and continued her admiration. “Well, in anycase, this documentary holds many ideologies and philosophies that, given you are Celestia’s annoying little scholar, I’d be interested in seeing your reactions and hearing your personal opinions. What, is that too suspicious a motive for you to agree to?”
“No! No…” Twilight wasn’t expecting that. While it still seemed she would enjoy Twilight being spooked by the film, it genuinely seemed like Chrysalis did want to have a discussion about it as well. “Is the… Erm, documentary that interesting?”
“Leaps and bounds more interesting than pony history, and is almost as interesting as my own, I promise you that. I really do mean what I said about wanting soldiers and commanders like them, not to mention all that wonderful technology. A hive is one thing, but to have an entire battleship. Mmmmm, it makes me salivate at times.” Chrysalis said, licking her lips as she let out a slight chuckle.
“I really doubt it can be that interesting.” Twilight says, suddenly feeling rather judgmental and dismissing of Chrysalis's notion. “And a battleship? With cannons and sails? We already have those. Are human battleships really that much better?”
“Geez, Twilight, instead of just questioning it, can we just watch it? All your questions will be answered if you just, I dunno, watch the dang thing?” You tell her. You had to admit, Chrysalis brought up a good point, Twilight’s reactions would be damned interesting to see, way too damn interesting to let her delay it with her suspicions and nagging.
“Fine, I will.” Twilight says in an almost childish manner as she fixes her gaze back to the TV. “But don’t expect me to change my mind.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes as she finally pressed play, not even saying a word about it further. She just wanted to watch one of her favorite documentaries again.
And finally, the movie began proper. Twilight, in an instant, was already rolling her eyes. “A propaganda piece? Really? I thought this was a documentary.”
“Christ, Twilight, didn’t you just say you’d just watch it?” You ask her. Like damn, it wasn’t even a minute in yet.
“Right… I was just confused. I erm… Ok.” Twilight held her tongue. She didn’t even know why she spoke out like that, and yet, she suddenly had a memory of Starlight’s shack lingering in her mind. Perhaps she only thought of it due to her confusion. But then, when the next part showed the starships, space, and the blasting of meteors… Her eyes just lit up. “Whaaaaa?! There’s no way! I-is that actually up in space?! Meteors? Those cannons in proportion of the planet… No! That’s massive! And I always theorized there was no gravity in space, so for those giant space… thingys. Wait, Battleships! Those are the battleships?! How, what?! Bug planet? What is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Twilight’s amazement suddenly became fright as she jumped back on the scene of the reporter being pierced by the bug soldier. Twilight almost looked like Fluttershy as she dared to peek at times at the violence going on. “Why do they show these parts?! Why can’t they just explain it?! How did they even get this kind of footage?! And those-” And finally, Chrysalis had enough and spoke up.
“Yes! We get it! You’re very impressed and intrigued! If I knew every detail was going to make you a motormouth I’d have just kicked you out and started planning for your annihilation! Unless it is something worth questioning, just…” Chrysalis sighed to herself as she rolled to her side. “Ugh, who am I kidding? It’s still impressive to see even now. Princess, just, I don’t know, try to be less pony about it. I’d like to be able to enjoy rewatching this without you jumping all over the place.”
Woah, was Chrysalis actually being semi friendly towards Twilight?! It could be just the fact she loves the movie and would like the chance to enjoy it again, but the fact she wasn’t trying to murder her for so many annoying questions could very well mean she secretly enjoys Twilight’s positive reactions just as much as her negative ones. Odd, but you may be overthinking it, it could just be the fact she’s easier to connect with when she’s having a good time… Or drunk. Because you still remember that, poor Caramel.
“Oh… Erm, right, I said I’d watch it. Something worth mentioning, got it.” Twilight said with a nod. But as the movie replayed, she couldn’t help but look back at Chrysalis for a moment. To her, it really was weird to see her acting friendly in any capacity. It made her internally smile, even if her mind was riddled with so many questions about what she was watching.
Of course, Twilight’s first real question would come soon after the classroom scene. She wouldn’t break her view of the screen, but she did have to speak up. “Why did he put so much emphasis over civilian and citizen? One can be both, can’t they? I noticed human language is almost identical to pony, so I’m just wondering if there is just a culture barrier there.”
“Well, no, it’s as he explained it, Twilight. Citizenship is essentially an honor to those who are willing to fight to defend their planet. And civilian… Well, basically isn’t. It’s just a matter of respect and all… And stuff.” Man, that was a bad explanation, but the movie already essentially gave the basics on it.
“I see… Well, that may work for humans, but we ponies understand that not everypony can fight.” Twilight states.
“That’s probably why you and your friends are the only ones capable of saving the kingdom all the time. And while that is me admitting that you are worthy of being called a citizen, it says a lot about the rest of you, now doesn’t it?” Chrysalis said mockingly.
“Hey! What is that supposed to mean?! We also have the Wonderbolts and the Royal Guards for each princess but myself, not to mention a police force in such cities like Manehatten.” Twilight said, trying to correct Chrysalis.
“It’ll mean plenty when you see how humans train. Now hush, we’ll discuss more AFTER the war declaration.” Chrysalis said, trying to enjoy the movie while hushing Twilight.
“Ok, but why does this documentary have such a focus on ‘Johnny Rico’? Oh! Unless he’s-” Holy crap, you had to interrupt her.
“Twilight! C’mon, just watch more of the documentary already! Yeesh!” You didn’t even want to sound too harsh, it was kind of cute. But in the end, it would get grating to hear Twilight piping up every second like a child.
“Right, ok. I won’t say another word until after that war declaration part. But I might still have a lot of questions right-” But Twilight stops herself when she sees both you and Chrysalis slowly turn and look at her, obviously annoyed. She just gulped, tapped at her forehead, and stopped herself from talking. Christ, she was acting almost like Pinkie Pie.
Luckily for the both of you, Twilight stayed silent for most of the beginning part of the movie. In fact, she kind of looked on in awe with all the ‘would you like to know more’ segments going on, and some of the stuff like the ESP and Rico’s life. Twilight looked like she did want to know more, she did look like she wanted to ask how to know more on said segments, but she kept it to herself to let the movie play. She was just kinda sitting there like a puppy, waving her tail back and forth as she absorbed knowledge. It was actually pretty adorable to see.
And then when the training scenes popped up, Chrysalis finally said. “You know, Princess, you can ask SOME questions if you like. I’d like to see how my ideas line up with yours thus far.” Obviously, Chrysalis couldn't wait to at least hear some of her opinions thus far.
Twilight looked back in surprise. She could see Chrysalis was relaxed, laying there, as if she was anypony else. Of course, her words, it made her curious to do just that. “Well, so far things seem very advanced technologically more than magically. In fact, it seems that humans being magicless is very true, as if to balance out the fact that their technological prowess is second to none. Though, their training seems a little-GYAH! Did he really throw that knife into his hand?! Why?!”
Chrysalis had a chuckle at that as she answers Twilight’s question. “He thought himself too good. That seems to be a thing with untrained humans. Really, Twilight, though you haven’t seen much of what a good soldier can do right now, humans at their full potential and their weaponry are very deadly indeed. And as you can see, they aren’t afraid to cause great pain to one another to teach a lesson in discipline. Of course, thinking about it now, if my changelings were to mimic human form and somehow gain their weapons… Well, even you have to agree it’d be a clean sweep of a victory.”
“Chrysalis…” Twilight stands to face her. Obviously Twilight wasn’t too keen on her saying that she would easily wipe the floor with a pony army. “We have well trained soldiers and guardsponies at the ready, some trained by my brother. If what you said would happen, then you must know that it wouldn’t be that easy for you, and with sheer will and superior trust in one another, we would defeat you.”
Chrysalis began to laugh even harder, pointing at Twilight in humored disbelief. “Are you serious?! Are you truly serious?! When has your little fighting force stopped ANYTHING? No, seriously, Princess, tell me. Aside from silly little intruders, every evil force that has shown itself has wiped the floor with ALL of Equestria’s main defenses. And yes, that includes your utterly useless ‘Wonderbolts’. Name one time, Twilight Sparkle, One time. If you can name one time, I’ll give up right now and become your new friend. Go on, do it!”
“Ok! Well, there was…” Twilight’s ears stiffened as her eyes widened, she then began to stutter a bit as she rubbed under her chin, thinking. “W-well, there was… And uh… I mean… No, we did that. And Discord, and Tirek, and you… Sombra… Pony of Shadows... Is there…” Twilight winced as her ears folded. Was it true? Were they really useless? Was her brother really useless when a major threat appeared? “W-well, I-I can still say that my friends and I have stood up against everything evil has thrown at us…” But Twilight didn’t sound too confident saying that, considering how defenseless Equestria now seemed. Even Celestia and Luna… They couldn’t stop anything anymore.
The way she looked, the way she was shaking. Like fuck, you didn’t want her world view destroyed or anything, that was a tad much. “Um, Twilight, I mean… Villains just do things good guys aren’t willing to do, right? The guards and stuff, y’know, seems like villains in Equestria can only really be stopped by rainbow blasts and stuff… Stuff, erm… .” God, how do you make them sound useful?
“To avoid you having some crisis, I’ll just agree with Anon. Beings such as myself are very powerful threats. Just look at the situation you find yourself in now. You and I are tied to a thread of fate, one only you can settle.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle to herself. “Perhaps that was a tad too poetic, but it’s the truth. Come now, Princess, you’ve gone this long defeating those who threaten Equestria, why should you let it bother you now? Sit back, relax, we’re all friends here… For now.”
“She’s right, Twilight. You never complained before. Is it really so bad? They just do the basic defensive stuff, and you and the girls handle the usual seasonal big bads.” You explain, it sounded fine to you.
“Ugh, don’t you get it? The Wonderbolts, the princesses, the royal guards, they should be able to stop at least one single major threat. And the princesses used to… And, and…” Twilight fell over in a slump, her mood utterly destroyed. “My brother goes through so much trouble to train his troops… and Discord and Tirek were able to walk right over them. Chrysalis managed to fool everypony, and when she invaded, nopony could stop her or her changeling army.” Twilight said as she covered her face in shame.
“Twilight, get off my floor, you look more pathetic than usual.” Chrysalis said as she hovered up and landed beside her. “If it’ll make you feel better and stop this useless interruption, then I will remind you it was your brother and Princess Cadance who ended up stopping me. You know this, and yet you’re so mired by my insult that you’d just rather be forgetful and annoying. Let me put it in a way you can understand, you need large amounts of power to stop somepony like me, something usually only you and your friends possess. Understand now? Can we continue?”
“Something only me and my friends possess? But… In that case, my brother and Cadance have it too. Or really…” Twilight begins to stand as she suddenly comes to a powerful realization. “How could I forget?! How could I lose sight of it for even a second?! Friendship is the most powerful force there is, that’s why my friends and I can use the elements in the first place, that’s why friendship and love can overcome any obstacle! And somehow, I forgot that! Haha! It was right in front of me and I missed it. The soldiers, the Wonderbolts, they could probably use some friendship training to help fight off evil better. Wow!” Twilight turned to look to Chrysalis with a smile. “Chrysalis, I’m impressed, really. I never thought I could be reminded of a good lesson like that by somepony like you.”
“U-uhhh, w-w-what?” Chrysalis said in a stutter, taking a step back.
“You know, the magic of friendship. I never thought you could have that much of a grasp on it. You and Anon did save Equestria too, even if it was another universe. You know that power, you know what it can do. Deep inside, you have love, and you know it, that’s why you understand it the way you do now. Maybe we don’t have the humans’ training, but we do have what really counts to protect the world, right here.” Twilight says as she taps at her chest. “And I’m glad to know how wrong I was about you. That deep down inside, you do care, oh so much.”
Chrysalis was visibly shaking, her eye twitching. “All that from pointing out the truth of the situation?! Ngh! I’m going to be sick! How is it you ponies can twist every little thing into something positive and, tch, good?”
“Because we are good, Chrysalis, and so are you, I know it, and Anon knows it.” Twilight said with a determined nod.
Chrysalis then looked to you with a snarl. “Don’t even say anything, I know you want to.”
You shrugged, placed on your horn, and made a sign appear that said. ‘You did save my life more than once, you’re like a sister to me. How many times do you need to be reminded? Because I’ll keep doing that. Woo, check out how long this sign is! Eat at Doughnut Joe’s!’
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at you and began to point, but then rolled her eyes, hovered back to her place on her bed, and put the movie back on play. “This was the worst mistake I ever made…” Chrysalis said with a groan as she waves her hoof towards the movie. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, it has nothing to do with the documentary. So let us continue.”
And continue it did, though Twilight did have a bit of a giggle, feeling more calmed to see Chrysalis more light hearted than usual. However, then came the infamous coed shower scene. And this caught the attention of not only you… due to bewbs, but also the attention of Chrysalis and Twilight in so many different ways. While Twilight stared on, Chrysalis had to stop the movie as she began to dart her eyes around.
“Chrysalis? You ok?” You immediately noticed her get up as the movie paused, she looked like she was looking for something to hunt, to kill.
“Quiet” She said in a low voice as she began to skulk around, floating up to the ceiling to remain hidden. “I sense an intruder.”
“What?!” Twilight stood up, her horn lit up for a fight. “Is it dangerous? Because I’m willing to help t-” But Chrysalis cut her off with a snarl.
“Silence, idiot! The whole point is to not let it know that we know.” Chrysalis said.
“Well…” You whisper “What the hell is it? Where is it? Because I can just blast that shit myself with my horn.”
“I don’t know for sure, but it might have a taste for beautiful mares… Such as myself. Yes, I smell two sources of lust. One obviously being you because you’ll mate with anything that has a female voice… And…” Chrysalis skulked about the ceiling, right until she was right above Twilight. She looked down at her, while Twilight looked up at her. Chrysalis’s eyes then went wide. “No…. Ohhhh noooooo, this can’t be real.”
“W-what can’t be real? C-chrysalis, why are you looking at me… CHRYSALIS!?” Twilight jumped back as Chrysalis fell down, landing on her side. “Chrysalis, are you alright?! What happened?!”
But Chrysalis was rolling on the ground now, laughing near uncontrollably.
“Oh no… She’s acting super weird.” You gulped, and slowly approached her. “Chrysalis, you alright? Are… you being tickled by an invisible thing? Or are you, uh? How does your sanity feel?”
“Hahaha! Anon! Hahaha! You idiot! She’s the other source! Do you know what that means?!” Chrysalis said, unable to gain her composure.
“A-Anon, i-is she going to be ok? Does she normally act like this?” Twilight asked, fearing for Chrysalis’s health.
“Not really. This is kinda new. What could she have meant by that? Other source? She? I think she means you, but…” You look at Twilight for a moment, then look back at the TV to see Rico showering in pause, then back at Twilight, then back at Rico… And then your pupils shrank as it hit you. You nearly flew back as you pointed at her. “Holy crap! It’s canon!”
“What?! Canon? As in, like a book?! Anon, what’s going on?! What’s with you and Chrysalis?!” Twilight truly didn’t understand what was happening, and it was scaring her.
“Y-you fool, haha! You moron, hehe!” Chrysalis slowly stood up, and pointed towards the television. “You’re the second source of lust! You actually find the human physique attractive! No wonder you’re single with no prince! How does that even happen?! It’s too absurd! So pathetic!”
“What?! N-no I don’t! What?! I’m a pony! He’s a human, a human in a documentary! We’re completely incompatible and… Wait, are you assuming I can’t get a coltfriend?! I mean, I can, I just never really saw the need to! And Anon, I’m surprised at you! You definitely know that isn’t true! So why do you find it horri-GYAH!? What are you doing?!” Twilight was taken aback as you held up a giant signboard with your magic, of a realistic human, buff, posing in his underwear. Twilight was just stunned by it, and then… She began to blush.
“I AM not! I just… I, why am I even staring at it?!” Twilight turned away, covering her eyes with her wings. “I-I just don’t understand what you both are talking about!”
Chrysalis was finally beginning to calm down as she removed a tear from her eye. “It’s very simple, Princess. I can sense emotions, some better than others, love and lust being the easiest for me. You were emitting lust on this very scene, and for Anon’s signboard. You can’t hide it, and it is most hilarious. Really, to think Anon would have had a chance with you had Discord kept him in his original form.”
“Really? W-woah…” You began to blush. You really could have had Twilight, huh? Would have been nice to be a prince.
“Probably not, she seems like the type who would put your head on a pike for even looking at another mare. Or you’d die from all her nagging. A cruel way to lose one’s life.” Chrysalis said with a snicker as she climbed back onto her bed.
“I am not like that! I am not attracted to humans! I will never be attracted to Anon! I am not a nag! I have never nagged anypony to death! Ever! You’re both wrong! Grrr!” Twilight rushed up and swiped the remote from Chrysalis and began to examine it, noticed the play button, and began to rapidly tap at it. “Grr! Let’s just watch the documentary! We’re wasting time talking about something that ISN’T TRUE!”
“Whatever you say, Princess.” Chrysalis snickered
Oh god, it really is canon, even when the mirror isn’t. Christ, how horrifying. Though, you couldn’t help but snicker to yourself, that was pretty funny.
Chapter 113 - The Visit with Chrysalis - Movie Time Part 2
Twilight, now mired by her own frustration, kept her focus on the film without saying a word. Like, hell, even during the laser tag and the head shot during the training bit, she said nothing despite the noticeable twitch at such a horrid and needless death. After another moment, you just had to ask. “Twilight, geez, can you stop? Welcome to how our friendship works, you got teased, so what? You like humans, who cares? Dad bothers you all the time and you don’t usually let it simmer that bad.”
Twilight grumbled, then looked to you with a grumpy stare. “Your father, who isn’t really your father by the way, has never thrown my… Umm.” Twilight had to stop herself as she tried to come up with a word for her lust that didn’t make her look like some sort of freak. “ ‘interests’ in my face like that.”
“What, humans? You didn’t even know you had a thing for them until like, a few minutes ago.” You remind her.
She then throws up her hooves, groaning as she exclaims. “I know! I know that! How was I supposed to know I’d find humans attractive!? And interesting! And strong… No, just no! I refuse to say anything else about it! Let’s just watch the documentary and…”
“You just missed the part where Rico’s entire home, as in, Buenos Aires, was just obliterated by that meteor. My my, look at that death count.” Chrysalis said, smiling and pointing with her hoof as she awaited Twilight’s next reaction.
“Wait, wh-AH!? H-how?” Twilight just watched the horror, the death count, the whole news, the fact that was Rico’s home and he had just… So that’s why things went dark. “They just… All those innocent people. They didn’t even have a chance to…” Twilight put her hooves to her mouth in shock before her eyes shifted to you. “Anon, this life, this world. I never knew it could be so… I’m so sorry.”
Ohhhhhh… Fuck, now she wants to say something about it? This wasn’t like it was with Chrysalis, she didn’t give a shit about what you possibly went through. But for someone like Twilight, it must have looked like you came from a real hellhole. “Oh, uh… Twilight, it’s ok, really. That’s just kinda how things… Er, went?”
“I don’t know how you can say that…” Twilight twitched, as if she was in pain. She brought her hoof to her chest and closed her eyes. “Or maybe I just can never grasp why. We ponies never had to deal with something like that. The closest would have to be the crystal ponies, and even then, Sombra wasn’t so grim as to just annihilate them. I don’t know what to say, I just, I suddenly have a need to protect you. To make sure you’d never have to go through anything like this… Ever.”
Holy shit, relax your fucking tits, Twilight. “I uh… Um, thanks? Twilight, it really isn’t that big of a deal.”
“Hmph, and yet you use the excuse of my children being ‘better off’ despite your mentor essentially destroying our way of life. Typical thoughtlessness of a princess.” Chrysalis said as she continued to focus her gaze on the movie.
Twilight looked to Chrysalis, more serious this time, feeling Celestia was right in what she did. “She made their lives better! And she wasn't the only one there, Thorax helped too. Really, it was your own child that helped his siblings find love and friendship. That’s why he’s the king now.”
Chrysalis shuddered at that, grimaced at the very thought. It made her think for a moment, however. As much as she hated Celestia, Thorax did share a lot of the blame as well. She did want him destroyed, especially for essentially usurping the throne. But she had been so lost in her vengeance that she had not even paid him too much mind compared to the Sun Princess. Now it didn’t even matter, Twilight was her target, and to have this argument now would just lead to an annoying loop she didn’t want to deal with. “I don’t care about that anymore anyway. Just focus on the documentary, interesting things are about to happen.”
Twilight nearly opened her mouth to say something further, but only because she expected a verbal fight with Chrysalis. No, the fact she just resigned to focusing on the documentary just made Twilight feel bad for her. She really had nothing, despite being this evil being, she was still prone to hurt. Twilight knew why she was there, what she had agreed to, so she nodded and focused on the film again. “I will, and will be ready for any more discuss… Are those cutie marks?” Twilight loses her train of thought and then winces on the way tattoos were being inked in. “A-ahm, that doesn’t look very, u-umm, special talenty.”
“It’s called a tattoo, Twilight. It’s just permanent body art representing what we stand for or like. There isn’t any magic in this world, trust me, that’s pretty much just body ink.” You tell her.
“O-oh, ok, that’s simple enough to understand.” Twilight said with a nod.
Further still the movie went, from Rico’s confrontation with Zander, to Rico nearly dying in that night combat. Twilight was amazed at space life, while also questioning the focus on Rico’s relationship with Carmen and why it seemed so rocky. The rejuvenation tank and mini nukes really caught her eye though. Mostly due to the destructive power in such a small device and the healing properties of such a tank without the use of herbs or magic. She asked you for some details on them, but alas, you couldn’t really tell her much about it, for obvious reasons. She was disappointed, but pressed on, up until.
“Ah, there he is. Lieutenant Jean Rasczak.” Chrysalis said with a salute “Of the few humans I have come to enjoy from a distance, he is in my top three. A truly respectable human”
“What? Hey, isn’t he Rico’s teacher?” Twilight asked “That is him, what is he doing here?”
“He’s a soldier, and a proof of concept about being a citizen. This man truly knows no fear and knows what he must do for the sake of his kind.” Chrysalis said.
“I see. Well, in that case, I’m excited to see the kind of man he is.” Twilight said, excited to see what comes next. It seems she was finally getting used to the violence. Up until… “I was wrong! What kind of man is that?! He just shot him! He could have been rescued!” Of course, she was talking about the poor soldier grabbed and mauled by the hopper bug.
“No he couldn’t. The moment that bug grabbed him, that soldier was done for. What he gave him was a mercy killing, something he’d expect he’d get should he find himself in a similar situation.” Chrysalis explains.
“No… There had to be a way. I can’t just accept that humans were essentially expendable in times of war. Anon, it wasn’t like that, right? It just seems so…” Twilight just couldn’t believe it. She already had to deal with humans dying, but for one to be shot by their own for the sake of a mercy killing?
“Twilight, Chrysalis is right. These bugs aren’t like anything you’ve ever seen. You should already know that, they are merciless. If they ever attacked Equestria, well…” You don’t finish that sentence, just those words should paint a picture in her mind.
“I…” Twilight gulped and turned to Chrysalis, wanting an opinion. “Chrysalis, d-do you think that too?”
“Sadly, and as much as I hate to admit, yes. Those things are more numerous than my hive ever was, and their source of food doesn’t seem to require their prey to be living. Earth ponies stand no chance, and the flying bugs are agile enough to destroy pegasi. For magic users, such as myself, unicorns, or alicorns, you would need not only powerful new spells that could wipe out cities, but also the mettle to use said spells to even stand a chance. Hesitate for even a moment and you’re dead.” Chrysalis explained.
“D-dead?” Twilight said, gulping as she brought a hoof to her neck.
“Indeed, I would probably have to shoot you just to give you a mercy killing after your hesitation causes you to be overwhelmed. Or maybe I wouldn’t shoot you. Hmm…” Chrysalis said as she amused herself with the thought of Twilight being torn apart.
Twilight looked impacted by the thought, in a way that suggests inner denial, then looked to the lieutenant on the screen and protested. “Well, he says that, but I guarantee if he was in a similar situation, he’d beg for help! And if I was in the situation of being able to help him, I would, because that’s what’s right! And that’s AGGHHH! GIANT BUG! HIS ARM! WHAT IS IT DOING?!”
“Just watch, Princess. You obviously haven’t learned enough yet.” Chrysalis says as she watches the screen intently. “I love this part, just look at Rico go.”
And the scene plays out like it always does, with Rico jumping on the giant tank bug,shooting through its back, and tossing a grenade inside, killing the bug instantly. Jean makes Rico corporal with the famous line which Chrysalis silently mouths to herself. “You’re it, until you’re dead or I find someone better.”
You look over to Chrysalis, noticing this, and ask her. “Hey, Chrysalis, am I still your corporal?”
“Shut up, Anon.” Chrysalis replied, but it wasn’t in a sour manner. Well, it was, but not in a way that sounded like she really wanted you to shut up at all. This made you smile.
Twilight watched the campout scene contently. You thought she’d question some of the going ons, but kept things to herself up until…
“GYAH! ARE THEY GOING TO…?!” Twilight hid her face. “Why would… I mean, I know Rico and Carmen are over, but they aren’t even married, and AND…”
“Relax, Twilight, nothing is gonna get shown. Unless…” You look to Twilight with a sneaky little grin. “Are you imagining yourself as Dizzy right now? Imagining Rico picking up your small pony body, snuggling you close, those abs warmly pressed across your belly as he lowers you down and…” And as expected, Twilight snaps back, bright red and flustered as hell.
“STOP! STOP RIGHT THERE!” Twilight got up and stomped over to you, yelling and pointing at you. “I said, I SAID, I was NOT interested in humans! And that fantasy is your fantasy that you came up with and it is just SICK that you’d imagine me doing dirty things with Johnny Rico! How could you do that, Anon, just how?!”
You could already hear Chrysalis giggling at this, and it kind of spurred you on to continue. Like fuck man, sure Twilight apologized, but she still used you, so you were going to milk this as much as possible. Hell, she still agreed with Celestia deep down, so fuck her. She may be sorry, but she still believes in Celestia. “I dunno, for all I know you were imagining yourself as a human and him as a pony. I don’t know how you think, Twilight, like damn, you’re the one blushing, so you tell me what’s going on in your head.”
“I’m not blushing! I wasn’t thinking that either! If I was, Chrysalis would know!” Twilight turned to her while she pointed at you. “Chrysalis, tell Anon how wrong he is! Maybe I had something before, but that was probably just due to experiencing something odd for the first time, it was obviously some sort of odd reaction that wouldn’t happen again.”
“You can say whatever you want, Princess. But your taste has piqued. As empty as it is, your lust is making such a delicious little treat right now. So please, go on, I’m willing to let this one go for just a bit longer.” Chrysalis said in a delighted cackle.
“Ngh?!” Twilight felt devastated, if Chrysalis was feeding off her lust, then that meant she really was attracted to him. Twilight fell over on her back and began to squirm. “How could this happen?! This isn’t like me, I shouldn’t be feeling this at all!”
“It’s called a fetish, Twilight. We all have one, sometimes more than one. Yours just happens to be really exotic. It’s normal.” Man, even the Twilight with the… Well, no, she fucking sperged like mad when she BECAME human, but she didn’t react like this when she realized she had a crush on human Flash.
“Normal?! Humans aren’t even part of Equestria! None of how I feel is normal! Why would I even feel this way at all?! Somepony, please, tell me! It’s driving me nuts!” Twilight said as she continued to whine and roll on the ground, haunted by her thoughts.
“Well, Rico is handsome, strong, obviously good with the ladies, athletic, and gets the job done. Seems you’re attracted to males who are actually capable of taking down a powerful threat.” Chrysalis winces falsely as she says that “Oooooh, and here I thought the blue one would become the crazy cat mare. There really isn’t any stallions who fit such a high standard, is there?”
“High standards?! I have normal standards!” Twilight yelled out, standing up so she can point at Chrysalis accusingly. “And if I am to understand what the word ‘fetish’ means, then no, I don’t have a human fetish either! I just… Aghm. Ahrm.” Twilight realized now she was kind of sounding like a raving lunatic. She took a moment, cleared her throat, and calmed down. “If anything, I just have a ‘fetish’ for high achievement.”
“So what you’re saying is that you still have a sexual lust for Rico and, considering what Chrysalis said about Rico and what seems to be your definition for ‘achievement’, your standards are still really high. Got it.” You say to Twilight, raising your hoof to mockingly signify that you understood.
“Yes!... WAIT, I MEAN NO!” Twilight said as she looked at you with such surprise and denial that she began to immediately look disheveled and crazy. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT! I JUST MEAN… Ogh, oh no. What am I even saying anymore?” Twilight fell on her belly and covered her face in shame. “I don’t want to admit it. But it looks like it might be true. I have a thing for humans. How did this even happen?”
“Well, for one, you decided to watch the documentary. For two… Nope, nah, that’s about it. You decided to watch the documentary and just so happen to have a thing for humans. It’s as simple as that.” You said with a shrug as you hide your smile. God damn, this really was just better than Luna’s spaz. Twilight didn’t even have the will to argue this, she was just going nuts over the thought.
Twilight grimaced, twitched, then finally gave up upon hearing those words. “I feel ashamed.”
“I do too, that was the most shameful display from a royal I have ever seen. Makes us all look bad, even me.” Chrysalis said with a false groan, stealthily using her magic to bring the remote close to her. “But now that I have the remote once again, I DEMAND we continue. There’s not much left and I want you to see something, Princess.”
“I don’t know if I can see anything else, what if I end up being attracted to one of those bug things?” Twilight said, almost to herself, as she shivered in disdain at the thought and at herself for saying it.
Holy damn, is Twilight gonna be broken at the end of this? Who knew Starship Troopers would have been the thing that does her in?
Chapter 114 - The Visit with Chrysalis - End Times
And so you were all focused on the movie once again. Rasczak and his Roughnecks began searching the outpost that sent out the distress signal. Twilight’s eyes were affixed on the screen once again, watching in wonder and yet disgust as they examine the corpses. Indeed, having seen the scene with Zander and Carmen before, she already knew that the brain bug had feasted on their brains. When they found the cowering general, Twilight again was upset that they would treat him so awfully after he was traumatized by witnessing such a horrible act.
And then, they struck.
“It was a trap?! There’s too many! They can’t possibly hold them off!” Twilight called out. “Come on… This can’t be the end! It just can’t!”
“Like a child…” Chrysalis said to herself before calling out something to Twilight’s attention. “Keep your eye on the screen, Princess. The scene I want you to see is about to come.”
“Oh no.. They don’t make it, d- WAIT! There it is, the escape ship! Come on, come on!” Twilight was getting excited, it was so close. When Zander popped out to rally the soldiers in, hope filled her eyes. Up until… “Oh no! The lieutenant! His legs, and…” And then, that’s when it happened. Twilight put her hooves to her mouth the moment Rico went through with shooting him on his command. “Why…? He could have made it…”
“He couldn’t, and he didn’t want to burden his soldiers with any more possible loss. He really did expect the same. The soldiers hauling him off could have bitten the dust just the same as him due to being slowed down, and he knew that. And, ah, and now she’s dead too.” Chrysalis said as Dizzy, Rico’s newest love interest, is killed on screen.
“No!” Twilight called out before tears filled her eyes. “Why? WHY?! IT’S SO SENSELESS!” Twilight screamed, smashing her hooves to the ground. “Those things! Those bugs. They have no heart, they don’t have a soul. All they seem to do is senselessly end lives for no reason, throwing themselves into gunfire without care just to… To…” Twilight slumped down, tears still flowing. “I see what you mean now, Chrysalis. I didn’t understand how terrible this war could really be until I saw that. It’s all so senseless, and yet the humans will bravely fight on and risk their lives for their home. But…” Twilight then turns to Chrysalis, confused about something. “Humans are obviously good, honorable, and they care and love for one another. So why do you care about them? Don’t you hate all of that?”
Chrysalis suddenly froze. That question, put in that way, asked by Twilight herself. Chrysalis had her reasons, sure, but now she was second guessing herself due to the situation she found herself in and the fact that Twilight was asking as if she was already friends with her. Chrysalis pondered, and then said. “As I told Anon, I find the fact that they can fight and are willing to end those who oppose them favorable traits. Also, the fact they are brave, capable, intelligent, and strong means that they could actually put up a fight. And then there are all their wonderful little toys, many of them I’d not mind having myself. The fact they fight for good can be overlooked… I suppose.”
“But that’s what I don’t get. Why are you willing to overlook the good humans have done? Why do you overlook that Anon is no longer a human, and is integrated to pony society? Why can’t you overlook the good we’ve done? It makes no sense to-EEP!” Twilight steps back as Chrysalis suddenly stands up, hops from her bed, and slams down onto the ground.
“That’s none of your business! And it is something you will never be able to understand! You ponies are way too simple minded and weak to ever understand. You are and will always be food to us! Do you understand me?! Look how long it took you to even grasp the humans within this documentary! You’re supposed to be the smart one, and yet you know nothing! Do you know why it doesn’t make any sense to you?! Do you?! Well, I’ll tell you! It’s because all you ponies are the same, and do nothing but ‘care’ and ‘love’ and ‘feel’ without thinking of others like me who need such things from you to survive! And even then, despite all this, ponies can’t even defend themselves without you and your friends shooting a rainbow at whatever comes along to ruin your pathetic little ‘harmony’. You’re beneath me, Twilight Sparkle, there’s your answer! Now sit down, watch the end to this, and get out of my house!” Chrysalis said as she stomped closer to Twilight, looking down at her in an imposing manner.
“C-Chrysalis, h-hey, calm down. Twilight just asked a dumb question, that’s all. L-let’s just relax, drop the subject, and-” But Twilight, ignoring you, steps up to Chrysalis’s challenge.
“I will. But I have to let you know, Chrysalis, you’re wrong! Ponies work very hard to maintain friendships, their lives, and the love they have for everypony. It’s why even now we were able to ally ourselves with dragons and griffons and-AGH!” Twilight found herself grabbed by a chaotic aura, and slammed upwards into the ceiling.
“Dammit, Twilight! Stop! That’s not gonna help! Especially now! I told you, I TOLD YOU, to keep your cool! But no, NOOOO, you had to go all ‘Twilight Mode’, didn’t you? All I wanted out of this was a decent understanding and for us to watch this movie to the end, and yet you just HAD to be you and try to question and learn and debate when THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO DO IT!” You said as you growled at her, using your magic to keep her on the ceiling.
“A-Anon, I was just. Ngh, I-I had to try something, I don’t think she even understands her own reasoning. I just wanted to help.” Twilight said as she struggled to free herself.
“You ponies took everything away from me! Your ‘help’ was never asked for or required. But…” Chrysalis began to snicker when she realized she had her chance. She looked to you, bearing a cruel smile, and nodded. “Do it, Anon, crush her to a pulp! Now’s the time! You can see it, can’t you?! She’ll never change! She’ll never respect you!”
“A-Anon…” Twilight’s eyes went wide when she heard those words. Considering her predicament, could you really…?
“I won’t do it, Chrysalis. You know I won’t.” You tell her as you ease your grip on Twilight. “I’m sorry that she upset you, but I’m not going to go that far, and you’re not helping yourself wanting me to destroy her. Let’s all just calm the fuck down and finish the damn documentary!”
“But we’re so close! Anon, don’t do this! You’re the only friend I have left…” Chrysalis’s gaze becomes softer, pleading, even pathetic even. “Don’t betray me too… J-just do it…”
She was faking it, she just wanted Twilight dead at any cost. Goddammit! Twilight! Chrysalis! WHY?! WHY DID YOU PUT SO MUCH FUCKING EFFORT INTO THIS!? WAS THIS WORTH IT?! S-Starlight. The only reason that went so well was because she was a pony, was that it? That her will was weak? No, the reason why THIS isn’t working is because Chrysalis, despite her pain, is stubborn, and refuses to see the good of ponykind. DAMMIT! FUCK IT ALL!
You grab Chrysalis within the same aura and slam her into the ceiling. You then look to Twilight and Chrysalis with an angry and dark gaze as you growl at the both of them. “The both of you, just… STOP! I tried, I fucking tried, but I don’t know how much more I can take! Chrysalis, you want to know the REAL reason you won’t fucking change?! DO YOU?! It’s because you relish being evil and one note for NO FUCKING REASON! I’m your friend, I tried and I tried, but all you want to do is be evil for no damn reason! I get it, you loved your kids, but you were KILLING them when they could have produced the food themselves! I did my best to be there for you, I did my best in helping you, and I held it together for all the times you used me for your own ends. You bitch, and you bitch, about how I’m being manipulated… AND YET YOU DO THE SAME SHIT! I can’t do it anymore! And Twilight…” You look to her as you narrow your eyes at her. “Shut the FUCK up, just shut the FUCK up! God damn, you and your questions and your need to know and your want to make things better was NOT SOMETHING I NEEDED RIGHT NOW! I said keep your cool, and yet you couldn’t do it! And guess what?! Now everything is ruined! Ruined…” You couldn’t anymore, this had to come to an end. So you look to Chrysalis again, your eye twitching as you give her the most serious look you’ve ever given her. “I’m tired, Chrysalis. So tired. Do it, plan your plan, and do it. And when it fails, you have two choices, keep your word or fight me, because the way I see it, it’s either you try or I fight you like the villain you are. Twilight, at this point, you know what I want, you know what I expect. Keep your word, stop Chrysalis when she executes her plan, and that’s it. So damn tired of this.”
“So… Now is when you finally decide to take charge, how cute. Well then, I accept it.” Chrysalis says as she calms herself, catching you both by surprise and suspicion.
“What? So you’re not gonna say anything about that? You’re actually going to listen to me? What’s your game, Chrysalis, because I don’t feel like playing it right now.” You really didn’t.
“No game, Anon, I actually feel quite proud of you right now, you’re actually showing your humanity for once. You’re right, I suppose I’ve been too controlling and manipulative towards you. I’ll calm down, for you. There is no reason for a fight now, is there? No, no there isn’t. In fact, Anon, I suppose I truly don’t like seeing you so upset, especially at me. I understand your endgame, I’ll make sure it doesn’t come to that. No, in fact, I promise we’ll be closer than ever by the end of all this.” Chrysalis said, as calmly as she could without sounding like she had a secret motive.
“Whatever you say…” You say in a tired sigh as you look over to Twilight. “Twilight, we’re going home. The movie pretty much over anyway. You saw the brain bug part, they blew up her cave, captured her, and that’s it. Not much else to it, you saw the important parts, you can contemplate on it however you want.”
“Anon…” Twilight silently said. She truly could see it now, she didn’t realize just how far you had been pushed, that even Chrysalis herself had pushed you so far despite all the effort you put in to defend her. Indeed, just like what she saw when it came to you and Starlight, she realized you went beyond what anyone would expect to defend those you care about. But at this point, she could also see you were tired and even possibly giving up on the friendship you spent so long and worked so hard to keep. “...Ok, and… I’m sorry.” This time, Twilight didn’t expect you to accept it. She spent so long trying to understand it all, even overstepping herself. She felt obligated to help you even more now, but… She didn’t know how.
“...Whatever. We’re leaving. Chrysalis, just… Just take care. Ok?” You say with an exasperated sigh.
“I shall, until we meet again, Anon. And I promise, things will be changing soon.” Chrysalis says as she does a little bow towards you.
“Yeah…” You take a deep breath, and then look to Twilight. “I’m sending you back to your office, I’m going home… I just want to go home…”
“Anon, you don’t have to, I-I’d like a chanc-” But you cut her off, you just didn’t want to deal with it right now.
“No, I just don’t feel like anything right now. Whatever, bye.” And with that, you cast your teleportation spell. And while Twilight is indeed sent back to her office, you end up on your bed.
You just laid there, hugging onto your pillow. All that effort, all that time, everything, and now it was truly feeling like a waste. Twilight just couldn’t keep her shit to herself, why did you even think that she could? And Chrysalis? Why? Why can’t she change? Why won’t she just get with the fucking program?! Was it you? Did you think you could fight a trope you knew wouldn’t be that easy to counter? Was it fate? Was it fated for Chrysalis just to lose and be evil? Even with all this power, all the power in the damn world, you couldn’t fix it. You could never fix it, you never had a chance. Now you don’t even know. Is it even Twilight’s fault? The world sustains itself on love and friendship, it requires it. Without it, the windigos would fuck everything up anyway. Maybe that's why Twilight was such a tryhard, it was because it pretty much means doom when it comes to such instances. And given she's the Princess of Friendship...
Like damn, when you consider that, it does give the ponies some ammo as to why things had to be a certain way. But fucking dammit, just the same, it just…
An hour, maybe two, and you still struggled to grasp what had happened. Twilight and Chrysalis were finally connecting! And yet, they just had to, they just had to go at odds with each other. Chrysalis had to be a bitch and Twilight just couldn’t hold back her curiosity and friendship bullshit. Why?! Why can’t she change?! Why can’t Twilight leave things alone? Why does no one seem to understand? Hell, why can’t you yourself make things work? Even with unlimited magic, you couldn’t succeed. Why do you even bother anymore?
“Hmph, and there’s the little chaos artist now.” Said a voice, sounding rather annoyed with you. “Just had to out-stage my award winning skills by confirming Twilight having a thing for humans. Anon, I hope you realize you went a little too far this time with teasing Twilight and I expect an apology from you this instant! But also, take your time, I want your apology to be worthy of my amazing ears.”
Discord?
You look over and do indeed see Discord, hovering at the end of the bed, waiting impatiently for some reason. He just rolled his paw at you, demanding your apology. “While we’re young, Anon. I’m the forgiving sort today, so you needn’t hesitate.”
Your eyes went near red with rage. You stood up, pointed at him, and began to yell. “YOU FUCK! EVERYTHING JUST WENT TO SHIT AND YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT THAT?! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKED EVERYTHING IS?!”
“I was there, Anon, I was watching the entire thing. Why do you think I came here? Your deluded mission is one thing, but out-performing me is an offense I don’t plan to take lightly.” Discord says as he brandishes a rapier towards you. “En guarde, Anon!”
Is that all he cared about?! Of course it is, It’s him after all! He LOVED fucking with Twilight, so of course he was gonna get pissed at such a stupid fucking little insignificant thing! Goddammit, why wouldn’t you expect that?! Everyone here is so single minded! FUCK THIS! “GODDAMMIT, DISCORD! YOU WANT TO FIGHT?! WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS!” You slap your horn on your head and fire a beam of raging hot fury right towards him. “I’M DONE! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK YOU, IT’S TIME YOU LEARNED A LESSON YOU’VE BEEN NEEDING TO LEARN FOR A LONG TIME AND… Ugh, of course! Goddammit!” And your rage is replaced by bewilderment as Discord quickly turns his sword into a pot, catches your beam within it, puts on a chef’s hat, and starts boiling the pot on a summoned stove.
“Ah, finally, the last ingredient I needed for ‘Chaotic Catastrophe’ chili! I’ll tell you right now, Anon, I hope you’re ready for a spicy dinner tonight. Delicious, of course, but only those who can handle the burning sensation of a million suns may partake in such a delicious delicacy.” Discord says, smiling at you as he adds a little salt into the mix.
You fall over, defeated. He wasn’t even pissed?! Then what the fuck was all that then? “Ugh… What’s wrong with you, Discord? Why can’t you just leave me be?”
“Anon, you know that I know that Fluttershy knows that I know that you know that I worry about you. In fact, tonight’s dinner is in celebration of such chaos you wreaked in Twilight’s mind, even if some of it was provided by Chryssi. Heavens, Anon, I don’t even know why you’re so upset. So what if the entire visit was a disaster? You still got exactly what you wanted.” Discord says as he takes a small taste of the chili. “Hmm, needs more meat.” Discord says to himself as he holds his paw over the pot and slices it off with a butcher’s knife. “There we go. Mmmm, wonder if Big Mac would be a pal and lend me an apple for this. Mnnn, nah, would make things too fruity.”
“The hell are you talking about?! Chrysalis decided to be creepy ominous at the end and Twilight couldn’t lay off her need to talk friendship bullshit. How is that a win for me?” Really, the hell was he talking about?
Discord regrows his paw and goes back to mixing the pot as he looks over at you, smirking. “She’s literally tied to the laws of chaos right now, Anon. That deal she made with you is magically binding. Yes, she made the stakes rather grim, but it does give her incentive to play by the rules.”
“The deal?” You blink, confused for a moment, before looking at the shackles on your legs. “Right… so you’re saying these are really real? She can’t break the deal?”
“Not without dire consequences. Really, ‘death’ isn’t my thing, but that was her call and so the will of chaos made it a reality, albeit, more in Twilight’s favor than hers. Then again, that seems to be what she was wanting. Or she could just be loony and not realize how utterly ridiculous her own rules are. In fact, Anon, I’m with you on the thought that there is no way that Chrysi could take on everypony who decides to protect Twilight all at once, i.e: everypony who is anypony.” Discord says as he continues to mix the pot. “She stands no real chance in succeeding, not unless she actually found a way to get close to Twilight without anypony knowing. And furthermore, without her power, which is weakened due to lack of such strong love, even Rarity could crush her in mere moments. You don’t even need to worry about her getting close, considering the Apple clan have a dog that can certainly sniff her out if she ever even got close to Ponyville.” Discord says as he tastes the chili once again, nodding to himself as he lets out a low moan. “Mmmm, perfect.”
“You mean Scrappy? Wait…” Was Discord saying the win was pretty much guaranteed? You look at the shackles again, and point towards the one on your right foreleg. “So these shackles, as long as they exist, it means the deal is still on, right? And because of that, Chrysalis pretty much would have to outsmart everyone to even get a shot at Twilight, right? Ok, that’s good I guess, no way she can manage all that. But what about after? You think she would really give friendship a shot?”
“Beats me. In my opinion, Anon, which I am certified to give as I too was once a villain, she may not want to. But she may cease her more hostile nature as well. Really, I have no idea how to really make her change sides, but what I do know is that a catastrophic event may cause her to finally see the light. For her other self, it was the destruction of her children and the finding of a new family. For her? Well, you’d know that better than I.” Discord said, in an almost fatherly way, as he poured some of the contents of the pot into a bowl, threw in a spoon, and hovered it all over to you. “Now, do you really have anything to be stressed about?”
You grab the bowl using your own magic, and look into it. It certainly looked like chili, despite the odd ingredients to make it. You then consider Discord’s words. As disastrous as everything was, you still technically got the outcome you were hoping for. Though, if Discord is right, and Chrysalis still doesn’t reform, what could you do to try to make it happen anyway? Of course, there was also… “I dunno. Discord, what if she goes nuts after the deal is done, and still tries to do evil? I pretty much said I’d deal with her myself. I mean, I don’t want to destroy her, but…”
“Ah, but you don’t want to be responsible for anypony she hurts right after. Yes, I could see why you’re having trouble considering all this. You could simply lock her away into Tartarus. But probably after a thousand years or so she’ll escape and wreak havoc anyway. Hmmm, such a conundrum. Do you not trust her enough to be good on her own?” Discord asks, in a half respectful yet still condescending tone.
“I don’t, even if I should. Mmmmnnnn…” Your eyes peer over to Discord, as a thought enters your head. “What about you? You did the same shit, right? Acted all reformed only to try to take over everything, with Fluttershy’s promise pretty much guaranteeing you couldn’t be stopped. How did you feel when you realized you were lonely, how did you feel after all the shit you did with Tirek? I mean, look at you Discord, you even got Spike and Big Mac as buddies now. So y'know, just tell me, how was it before all that? How did you REALLY feel?”
Discord flinched at that, his ego suddenly taking a blow to such words. “Yes, I suppose I couldn’t be trusted. And yes, I felt that horrible feeling, that nasty feeling of loneliness. As for Tirek, well, I hadn’t become fully accustomed to friendship yet and he was promising the kind of rulership and power I used to have when I was the ‘King of Everything’. Now, of course, I did get betrayed, and that did hurt. Ugh, and then Twilight, of all ponies, forgave me. Which, given it revealed the final key needed to use ‘Rainbow Power’, I can say it wasn’t entirely terrible given everypony could say I technically saved the world. Ah, but I digress, looking back on all of that now, looking at my friendship with Fluttershy, you, and the others.” Discord sighs “I’d rather have what I have now than go back to how things were.” Discord looked defeated for a moment as he said this, until he raised his talon and looked to you with a smirk. “Although, being friends with Fluttershy does mean I can get away with things from time to time too, so it’s not all bad. She does like to defend me at times.”
“Thanks for telling me all that Discord, I think I can use that. Just let me think. Hmmm…” Chrysalis has already gone through a lot of loss so far. She was ok with Diamond, but not with Twilight. If she is defeated, would she really sink back into the forest? Would she plan and scheme again? Would she just give up and become a hermit?
Wait…
Discord finally gave in mostly when Fluttershy herself pretty much put a rain on his chaos parade. Chrysalis, what if you managed to stop her yourself when she enacts her plan? You and her, going toe to toe. She couldn’t hurt you, given the deal, and if you stand your ground and talk to her, show her how insane and illogical her thoughts really have become…
Then maybe…
“Discord, I need you to be serious with me on this, ok? What if I stopped Chrysalis myself? Give her the whole friendship shebang in my own way. I put my hoof down and I give her the ultimatum myself. She can sense feelings, so if I’m serious, which I will be, then something should give. Even she can’t handle being alone forever, Discord. I mean, hell, even if she says she does, I can pull out the fact that I’m mortal and there can be a point I could be gone and BAM! It’s over. A little underhanded, but I’m going to have to be to make it all work, I need to pull out all the stops. Pretty good plan, right?” You look to Discord, feeling confident in your plan.
Discord, however, suddenly seemed saddened, as if you said something to hurt him. “Oh, yes… Right, hrn. Well, in my honest opinion, your mention of mortality and finally having such a showdown with her should lead to your success, given it would wound her in a way that only friendship can heal. So yes, I think that might work. She’ll no doubt give in, either right then or a couple of nights to ponder on it.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was thinking too. I just have to focus on making sure I’m there when she finally shows up. But, ngh, I’m a little scared. If I can’t step up, if I just screw up or give in to her even the littlest bit, she’ll walk all over me. Ogh!” You suddenly felt despair as you brought your hooves to your head and began to shake. “Dammit! I keep telling myself not to fall for shit like that, but I always do! Chrysalis always manages to bullshit me! I just… I’m just scared that she may look like she’s trying to bullshit me, but she actually isn’t, and I don’t listen anyway. And yet, I know if I don’t act tough, well, I already said she would walk over me and-uh?” As you doubted yourself further, you felt a hand, or rather, a paw on the shoulder of your right foreleg. You look up, and see Discord looking at you, like an actual dad. “U-uhhm, uh? Discord?”
“Hush, Anon.” Discord says as he snaps his tail, zipping your mouth up like he used to do long before. Even further, he removed your ability to move, keeping you as still as a statue. “I’m about to help you. Anyway, you say you have a lack of will. Or afraid of having a lack for it anyway. I can’t tell you if you can do it or not, I’m not Twilight, I’m not going to be like her and take a guess at something that could just explode in your face. Well, not unless it wasn’t important enough to warrant such care. But I will tell you this, Twilight at this very moment has gathered her friends to discuss this whole business with Chrysy. Now, before you assume, she had asked me earlier while you were having your little episode to fetch you for this meeting, but I think you could use this to truly test your mettle. That’s right, if you could tell off five ponies and make your stand, then standing up to our buggy friend should pose no issue to you. Oh, don’t raise your eyebrow at me, I said the correct number. Fluttershy doesn’t count because I’d rather not imagine you talking down to her or making her upset… Which you better not do, or else. Ah, not to worry Anon, this threat extends to Twilight and her friends as well if they so happen to make you cry. Although, if you do cry, I’ll also taunt you for being such a baby. Really, you’ve been around long enough to deal with everything thrown at you, especially given you have the advantage of having CHAOS on your side. But I digress, now is the time to truly test yourself, Anon.” Discord says as he snaps his talons, freeing you from his magical grip. “And best of all, this advice comes free of charge. Sort of, I do expect you to answer a question for me.”
Woah, you didn’t expect that kind of advice to come from Discord. He has his moments, but that was pretty profound. Especially since manning up, which admittingly, you should have already done, doesn’t exactly sound right coming from him given how much of a baby he can be. Still, it was insanely helpful, so you thank him, and ask him what the question is.
“I just wish to ask you not to hate me. Don’t ask why I’m asking, you know I’ll teleport you into a lake if you ask why. I just wish for you to understand that you and Fluttershy truly mean the world to me and… Ugh, I just went that far, didn’t I? What’s gotten into me? It’s not like we haven’t had a moment like this before and-” But as Discord began to get nervous on his own train of thought, you call out to him.
“I get it. Heh, you’re just worried something happened, or you probably just wanted to make sure we we're still ok. Well, yeah, we’re still ok. We’re best buds, no matter what! I was just feeling, I dunno, edgy? I guess that’s what you’d call it. But I gotta ask this, what even made you feelGYAH! BLFDLFGF” And in an instant, you found yourself in the town square fountain. Not exactly a lake, but wet just the same as you pop your head above water and hang from the side, spitting water out from your mouth before cursing Discord out. “DAMMIT! God dammit! I wasn’t even asking why you asked, you fuck! I just wanted to know what made you feel so caring all of a sudden! Geez! Totally not the sameGYAH!” And suddenly, your bowl of chili was plopped on your head as it began to drip down. You give it a lick, and then yell out. “This isn’t even spicy, Discord! You fuck! Though, it's pretty tasty!" You began to lap up as much as you could, damn it tasted great! "Oh yeah, I sometimes forget how good of a co… OH WAIT, NEVERMIND!” And you dove back into the fountain, drinking it up like the little horse you were, trying to make the horrible burning in your mouth go away.
Fucking dammit, you'll never truly figure Discord out. What made him suddenly get nervous like that though? Hm...
The stars were appearing, the moon rising, and the cool air settling in. Really, you could use for a cool theme as you approach Twilight’s castle. You would use your magic to actually conjure one up, but it was probably best you keep things normal as to not cause any issues.
As per usual, Twilight’s castle doors remain unlocked. You push them open and step on inside through the darkened entrance hall. Spooky, given how silent it was. You take a breath, steel yourself, and step through into the cutie map room. Oh geez, oh no, everyone but Twilight was there, waiting, silent, looking serious. Spike’s chair was vacant, and you noticed a normal chair set by Fluttershy’s side. You gulp, slowly head towards it, and then…
“Look! It’s Nonny! Hey Nonny! Woo, glad you showed up! Everything was getting creepy and ominous with all of us sitting here. Hoo boy, you’d think we were about to do a big judgement thing or something! It’s even plenty dark in here too, could use some lights if you ask me.” Pinkie said with a giggle as she looked over her chair, waving at you. “Look, Twilight set a chair just for you by your aunt! Isn’t that nice?”
“Y-yeah, woo, ok then.” Come on, Anon, keep it together. You step forward and continue towards the seat as you studied everyone’s mood. “Heya, Ponk, everyone… Heh.”
“Good evening, Anon. And I must say, I agree with Pinkie Pie. Everything was getting so uncomfortable that I was going to suggest a small snack break, A little tea to ease the tension.” Rarity remarks as she seems to take a moment to relax herself.
“In case anypony forgot, we’re here because Twilight and Anon decided to go see that no good, love stealin’, scoundrel of a queen. Twi hasn’t been herself since she got back neither, so who knows what could have happened!” Applejack said as she suddenly shot a suspicious look at you “Anon, you ain’t even been around since Twilight came back neither. If yer up to no good, then don’t think I’ll go easy on ya.”
“Woah, woah, woah. Ok, I get it, we’re all worked up here, but I doubt Anon meant anything bad. Plus, Twilight is still ok, so let’s chillax. I know it sounds bad because they went and visited somepony who clearly hates all of us, but we all have to remember that Anon is trying to reform her. And as crazy as that sounds, Spike did say Twilight went with him because of that. And they are both here, right? So obviously something went right.” Rainbow Dash said… Coming to your defense for some reason. Geez, that's odd, it even feels odd.
“Yer only defendin’ him because you helped train him! This is serious, Rainbow Dash, we don’t even know if the Twilight that came back is our Twilight. What if it’s her? What if this is some sort of trap?!” Christ, Applejack seemed to be the only one who wanted to jump down your fucking throat. The hell was her fucking problem?! Was she still mad about what happened with O&O?
“She’s not! Geez, what got up your butt, Applejack?!” Fuck this, you had to make your stand now! And if Applejack wanted to be a bitch, then so be it. “That is Twilight! And I didn’t do anything bad! The only reason this was set up is because you all need to know what happened, so there!”
“Twilight shouldn’t have left without tellin’ us! I swear, whenever it’s you or Discord, there’s always trouble close behind! Plus, if nothin’ bad happened, then why did Twilight have scuff marks on her coat, hm?! Why were her wings all crooked?! You were there, so-” But then, unexpectedly, Fluttershy speaks up.
“That’s enough! If you’re accusing my Anon of actually being bad or evil then you’re wrong! Applejack, I’m so very surprised at you, Anon is very good in heart and would never EVER do anything bad on purpose! Even if he’s from another dimension, he’s still a colt, my colt, and I will not sit here and listen to you accuse him of doing bad things! Anon has been trying hard, very hard, to reform Chrysalis. And I know some of us don’t like it, but need I remind you that a pony who locked us all in a shed and stole our cutie marks is now our student counselor? And don’t forget about Tempest and Trixie too! And the changelings would have never been reformed without his help! Anon has even helped save Equestria! No matter how bad it seems, no matter how many others have told Anon it’s impossible, he still is trying. And considering what Twilight must have done, then it’s obvious she believes in Anon too, and so do I!” Fluttershy then gave Applejack a hard stare, nearly to ‘the stare’ levels. “Don’t you dare accuse him again, Applejack. Or else I will get mad at you and not talk to you for a whole week! Or even a month!” Fluttershy then looked over to you, and smiled. “Anon, come sit over here by me. Don’t worry, I won’t let anypony hurt you or your feelings. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
Ohhh damn, was not expecting that. While you felt you could have handled that on your own, the fact you seemed to have everyone’s support thus far didn’t seem too bad. Honestly, you expected worse. “Y-yeah, thank you, Aunt Fluttershy.” You say as you walk over and take your seat.
“Fluttershy…” Applejack said, as she began to simmer down from her anger. She wanted to say something more, but even she could see she wasn’t going to break Fluttershy’s motherly stance. “Ah guess we’ll just wait for Twilight then.”
“Agreed. We should all take the moment to calm down and- Oh! And I suppose have some tea. Anon, darling, you didn’t need to use your magic on us, I know how limited it is per day and I’d rather not burden you with the trouble.” Rarity said, being polite, keeping her composure in hope everyone else does too. She wanted to ask about Twilight, but she felt just waiting for her would be best.
You tap at your horn, and smile at her a sweet smile. “No trouble, Miss Rarity, it’s uh, close to the end of the day anyway. And I’d just like it if everypony just relaxed too. We’ll get it all straightened out when Twilight shows up.” Oh man, this could be such a fucking disaster. It’s not like you didn’t fling Twilight into a ceiling or anything, pinning her down hard.
“Yay! Tea!” Pinkie said as she grabbed her cup and began to chug it down. She then wipes her muzzle and looks over to Applejack. “Come on, Applejack, don’t be mad. We have to trust in our friends, remember? I’m sure everything is gonna be ooooookkkk!”
“Hmmm… Ah guess.” Applejack said as she just poked at her tea cup, not really feeling up for tea. She then looked over to Rarity, asking what she thought of the situation since talking to you further would only cause Fluttershy to get upset.
“Anon, have you been alright? Nothing really bad happened, did it?” Fluttershy asked, whispering towards you so the others wouldn't hear.
“It’s sort of complicated, Aunt Fluttershy. Some things are kind of bad, yeah, but erm… Believe it or not, Twilight and Chrysalis were kind of getting along for a bit. We were all sitting down watching a documentary and Twilight was really into it and stuff. It’s just…” Man, dammit, if Twilight was gonna say something, fine. But she was your aunt, you had to tell her. “Look, Aunt Fluttershy. If I whisper to you what happened at the end of the visit, can you just… Not get mad at me?”
“Mad? Why would I…” Fluttershy stopped herself, and just gave you a nod. “I promise, Anon. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be ok.” Fluttershy knew how volatile the situation was, and she knew you were trying really hard. For you, she had to do her best to restrain her feelings, and perhaps even her better judgement.
“Mnnn… Well, I guess you didn’t notice but…” You raise your forelegs, to make your shackles known within the low light of the room. “I sort of got these.”
“What are they? A new fa- Oh no, this has to do with what happened, doesn’t it?” Fluttershy asked with a gulp.
“It does. Look, I guess Twilight is gonna say it anyway, but I want you to know before anypony else. So…” And so you explain everything to her. Everyone else was talking amongst themselves at this point, so they don’t really notice her gasps and such. “..And that’s what the shackles are for too. Are you upset with me? For what I did?” You really did feel bad over it, and yet, you knew it was justified. You had to keep that in mind, and hope Fluttershy just… Please, just let her agree with you.
“Anon…” Fluttershy began to tear up. She quickly glanced over to her friends, hid her face, and wiped her tears before looking back at you. “No, I’m not mad. I just… I just don’t know how to feel. But I’m not mad. You just wanted it to work, that’s all. And… I know it may sound bad for me to say, but Twilight really does have a habit of doing that. But, you shouldn’t have done that still, and Chrysalis… She sounded like she was having fun, even if it was mean fun, until… Well, sounds like what happened with Discord, how he gave in to his bad side when he had a chance. He didn’t know any better, and it seems to me Chrysalis doesn’t either. She’s hurting, but she doesn’t know any other way. As for what you did to Twilight, maybe I should say something to you about using your magic like that. But, if Twilight was really hurt by it, I think she would have said so by now. In fact, if you were both tricked into a deal, then I think we’re here to mostly discuss what we’re going to do about it.”
Right, if Twilight was going to gather the rest of her friends on this, then this was most likely also going to be a strategy discussion. That is, if Twilight was still willing to help. “Yeah, I think you might be right. S-so, even knowing that this may be it, that Twilight is in danger, you’re not mad or anything?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, just upset. I don’t want Twilight to be in any kind of danger. I don’t want you to get hurt either, and I don’t want Chrysalis to just disappear. I think Twilight will know what to do, and as her friends, we’ll do our best for her, just like I’ll do my best for you. If you believe Chrysalis will understand friendship after all this, then I will do my best to help make it happen. I really feel, when she was Nymous, that deep down, she cared about being part of the family, and that's enough of a reason for me to help. But, Anon, this also depends on how Twilight feels about all this. We need to hear her out. B-but don’t worry, if she goes over everything, and Applejack or anypony else gets upset, I’ll… I’ll stand up for you, ok?”
Mnnn, actually, Discord is right on this one. You were just lucky you didn’t make Fluttershy cry, or at least hoped those first few tears didn’t count. “Aunt Fluttershy, no, it’ll be ok. I can stand up for myself. Please, don’t argue with me on this one. I know, in the end, I’ll have to stand up to Chrysalis and overcome her doubt and refusal to accept what’s what if I really want to help her. And for me to even test my courage, I’ll have to stand up to anypony who has a problem with it. Even our friends.”
“Anon…” But Fluttershy understood. She had come to learn a lot about assertiveness after all, and the importance of it. “I understand. But, no matter what, I’ll still be here for you. If you want, after this, you can come with me back to the cottage. I’ll make you some warm milk, and then we can cuddle until we both fall asleep. Ok?”
You almost burst into tears from that one. She was being so understanding. It was odd, but she clearly wanted to try to remain neutral while her motherly instinct stepped in to defend you from any criticism or hurtful words. She’d probably debate with Twilight if Twilight herself decided differently from what you expect. But since you felt Twilight was still on your side, even after what happened, you knew Fluttershy would be too. “T-thank you, Aunt Fluttershy. I-I love you.”
“I love you too, Anon. Forever and ever.” She says, shooting you a warm but sorrowful smile in an attempt to make you feel better. She knew you were hurting, she hated seeing you hurt.
And then, shortly after, Twilight stepped into the room, her very presence demanding silence as she took her seat, and prepared to speak...
“...And that’s what happened, Everypony. Thank you all for listening, I know how hard it must have been to hear that. But that is the situation, and as much as I know it upsets you all, there was nothing I can do to fix things after, well, I messed things up.” Twilight said with a shamed sigh.
She really did it. She explained everything that happened, minus the details about being gripped by your magic, her fetish, and some of Chrysalis's evil quips. It seems she didn’t want you to be seen as the bad guy, or as overreacting, given how heavy the information was.
“Waaaaaait a second…” Pinkie immediately let out before anyone could say anything. “Are you saying you over analyzed a documentathingy instead of just enjoying it? And then got into a whole friendship tiffy with Chrysalis?! Twilight, that’s not like you, you always know how to party! What happened?!”
“Pinkie! Are ya kiddin’ me?! Twilight just explains that she’s a fish in a barrel right now and ya gonna criticize how she does her partyin’?! How is that important?!” Applejack calls out, annoyed with Pinkie that she could seem so nonchalant about Twilight's predicament.
“I mean, I was just saying.” Pinkie shrugged “Must have been a really interesting documentary. Like, super interesting to get ‘Research Twilight’ going. I could kinnnnnd of see where Chrysalis was coming from, sorta. She does seem to be kind of loopy now given from what we know. I mean, Scrappy told me Chrysalis was probably kind of coocoo after the whole ‘reform the changelings’ thing. It’s not like I enjoy Twilight being in super bad ultra dangerous danger! No, that’s not it! I want to protect her like everypony else! I just thought it was kind of weird, that’s all.”
“Applejack, Pinkie is right. I think if I had simply enjoyed my time there, things would have gone smoother. Chrysalis was obviously very sensitive about what happened to her, as well as sensitive about her beliefs. Despite her taunting, she really was insightful, and a few times, even fun. Like I said, I should have listened to Anon from the start.” Twilight said, looking down, feeling rather ashamed of her failure.
“Speaking of Anon. What gives?!” Rainbow Dash said as she flew and stopped directly in front of you. “Why would you even set something like that up, Anon?! I get you want to help Chrysalis out, but she’s clearly always going to be evil if she wants to destroy Twilight! It’s over, ok?! She’s never gonna see the good side of things! I kinda held off on it because we’re buds and stuff, but this is crossing the line! It’s super uncool! And not what a good friend does! Didn’t I teach you better than that?!”
Your eye twitched at that. Dammit, where does she get off telling you that?! “It wasn’t my fault that she lost her kids, Rainbow Dash! It’s not my fault she is losing her mind! It’s not even my fault that Twilight is in danger, ok?! Look at my legs! Ok? These are legally binding shackles that make sure Twilight is her only target! Are you telling me we somehow can’t protect Twilight?! Who can, by the way, protect herself too! I’m sorry that this happened, but Twilight told it how it was, It wasn’t my fault!”
“It was yer fault! You were so reckless with yer wanting to help Chrysalis that ya put Twilight in danger. Colt or no colt, yer friend is still a big time enemy of Equestria, Anon, and that ain’t something we can all overlook. Besides, we all know yer smarter than ya look, so what made ya think this was a good idea at all?!” Applejack then looked to Twilight, pointing at her, making sure she shared some of the blame. “And ahm sorry, sugarcube, but ya should have known better than to be so trustin’. The fact she seems so happy about gettin’ a chance at you is enough for me. If ah catch her, I’m gonna smash her like the bug she is, ah promise y'all that much!”
“M-Maybe we should all calm down. T-twilight also explained she was still willing to help Chrysalis once we stop her, and it’s not like it’d be hard to do that, Chrysalis is very weak right now. A-and that’s just it, deep inside, she’s just a scared and hurt mother who is stuck in her ways. Anon has been her friend for a very long time, so I trust him and Twilight in believing that if we stop her, we can reform her.” Fluttershy said, feeling meek that her friends were seeming so aggressive. “A-and let’s not go pointing hooves either, ok? What’s important now is figuring out what we’re going to do next.”
“Fluttershy is right. What’s done is done, right no-” But Twilight is cut off as Rainbow Dash flies up, interrupting her with her yelling on top of her words.
“Are you kidding me?! Are you seriously telling us that it’s absolutely ok that a crazy bug queen wants to stroll right up to you and hhhrrrrk!” Rainbow Dash makes a gesture implying a choking neck. “That is totally CRAZY! What we should do is just go right up to her now and do what Applejack said she was gonna do!”
You jump up onto the table, you were not going to take that shit. “Try it! Go ahead! If you even step into the forest to find her, I’ll make sure you come back wingless, you get me?! What is even with you?! You didn’t get this crazy over Dad or Starlight!”
Rainbow Dash flew down, and looked you in the eye, almost like an oppressive overseer. “Anon, when Fluttershy was first reforming your Dad, none of us liked it! Twilight was even trying to get a reform spell to use on him. And Starlight? We still had to be super careful when it came to her! And I don’t know if you noticed, but the friend you're protecting is one of the biggest evils in Equestria! She still wants to destroy Twilight, Anon! Hello!” Rainbow Dash knocks on your head. “Did you suddenly forget that destroying somepony is a permanent thi-GYAH!”
Suddenly, there is a horrible high pitched whine that fills the room, causing you all to cover your ears. The source of the noise? Well, you all look over to see Rarity, closing her mouth and sitting there calmly as she prepares to speak. “Sorry, everpony, but this meeting was becoming much too hostile for my liking. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, I can fully understand where you’re coming from. The situation is quite dire, and it is clear that emotions are high given that one of our best friends is in mortal danger. But yelling at each other isn’t going to solve anything. Anon, please take your seat as well, I do not want to see a gentlepony like yourself reduced to such barbaric mannerisms, you are much too young to be showing such tendencies.”
“Rarity?! How can ya be so calm about this?! Rainbow Dash is right, this ain’t a situation that can be taken lightly!” Applejack said as she slammed her hoof on the cutie map. “This ain’t a time for talk, this is a time for some good ole fashioned bad guy buckin'!”
“Miss Rarity…” You stare at her, becoming calmer and yet melancholic, was she really going to speak against you too? “She’s my friend. I’m this close. Twilight understands, she does! I just need help, that’s all. We can protect her, she even thinks so!”
“I know she does, Anon. And I never said I was against you either. But even you must understand the tension the situation causes, on top of the fact that your dear friend is the infamous Queen Chrysalis herself. But given all we know now, I couldn’t help but stare at those gaudy things on your legs. Tell me, is the spell Chrysalis tricked you into casting as binding as you say?” Rarity asks.
You look to your shackles, then back at her as you slowly back up to your seat. “Yeah, even dad said it was.”
“Peculiar…” Rarity stood up from her seat and began to circle the room. “Everypony, let me ask you all a very important question. Why would Chrysalis, so bent on her revenge, make a deal that is clearly not in her favor.”
“Uh, because she’s evil, duh!” Rainbow Dash calls out.
“Evil, perhaps. But Chrysalis has always been known to be an intelligent and cunning schemer, and yet she binds herself to a deal that means her very existence if she brings harm to anypony but Twilight. It seems to me that Chrysalis truly isn’t herself if she’s willing to make a deal that doesn’t benefit her in any capacity. Furthermore, it is a deal that, while still dangerous, has an overwhelmingly high chance of failure. Now, this may sound like I truly agree with Anon, and I actually do. When I knew her as ‘Nymous’, she was actually quite insightful in dress design and public desires at the time. Why, if she was truly evil, would she give me such helpful information if she does not desire to be our friend?” Rarity ducked down behind the cutie map, and then came back up in her ‘detective’ ware “I’ll tell you why! Because Anon has indeed made progress with her! She has shown signs of changing, and she has noticed as well, and is trying to resist! And this very deal is her ‘All or Nothing’ play to avoid her feelings! Either she gets what she wants, or she finally gives in and allows her dear friend Anon to finally help her come to understand the magic of friendship!”
Everyone was quiet on that one, even you. Up until Pinkie started to clap her hooves and cheer Rarity on. “Woo! Amazing! Spot on!”
“Thank you, darling, I had pondered on it quite a bit while Twilight was telling her story.” Rarity said as she began to carefully declothe herself and fold her outfit.
“...Rarity, ya do know that one example ain’t no thing, right? Her entire game is to pull the wool over everypony.” Applejack reminded her.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! But there’s more than one example! I happen to know she was also super friendly with Anon’s marefriend too! Like, she never had anything bad to say about her or anything! Also, also, at the party we threw for her, I had seen her getting super friendly with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and especially Scootaloo! They all seemed so happy! I bet she was just really happy too since they take such good care of Scrappy!” Pinkie chipped in.
Ah yes… When she was drunk. Whatever, Rarity and Pinkie seemed to be on your side, as was Fluttershy and Twilight. This was your in. “See?! I know why you’re both upset. But Chrysalis has shown signs of changing! And this is it! This is the final push! Please, I’m sorry that it went this far, but-” But then you are cut off by Rainbow Dash, who still wasn’t ok with any of this.
“Like Applejack said, she can clearly fake it! What makes you so sure she’d even reform if we stop her? She could just go and try to plan something else!” Rainbow Dash says.
“Well, I mean, she could. But also, if she didn’t make the deal, then she could have just hidden in the forest and then we’d never know if she was planning something evil and then she could have planned that evil thing without any of us knowing and she could also hurt anypony she wants while she is doing her evil plan and she could have even joined other evil bad guys we have beaten before to make up a super evil plan that could doom Equestria forever and we would only have a super small chance of winning unless something happens like it usually does but it might not that time because reasons so since we know she’s going to attack and it’s like all of us against her and she can only hurt Twilight then I think it’d be better like this than if we didn’t know and if she didn’t make that deal because then things might have been a lot worse.” Pinkie explained, without breathing, nearly choking herself, as she then looks to everyone with a squeeing smile.
All of you, including yourself, just stared at her.
“What?” Applejack asked.
“I think she said that Chrysalis could have been more of a danger if she never made the deal. She could have decided not to tell anypony she was going to try something, and she could have hurt anypony she wanted by doing so. Pinkie is right, and so is Rarity, and Anon, and Twilight.” Fluttershy says as she stands, finally taking a strong stance as she looks over to Rainbow Dash and Applejack. “Twilight needs us, Chrysalis needs us too. This is her way to ask for help. It’s not the best way, but if we pull together as a team, I’m sure we can make it happen. Think about it, she basically is asking us to stop her. So please, won’t you at least consider it?”
Twilight nods. “I’ve seen her up close, and I’ve felt her magical presence. She’s nowhere near as strong as she was when she raided Cadance and Shining Armor’s wedding. Besides that, I think she was really trying to be friends with me, she just couldn’t hold back her tendencies when I pushed too hard, that’s all. I know I’ll be ok if you all got my back. As friends, nothing can tear us down. And in this case, the one who wants to do just that needs our help. Please, everypony, I truly am ok with this, I have no doubt that we can pull this off. Applejack, please, I will especially need your help with this.”
“Me? Mmmnnnn…” Applejack slowly took off her hat and looked down on it, she didn’t know what to feel now, it was two against five, and it didn’t seem any of them were going to budge. “Twi, are yer sure there ain’t no other way? This is crazy, it just is, alright? I-if ya need mah help, of course ah'll help ya, but ya gotta see nothin’ about this is right.”
“I know how you feel, Applejack, I think I would have reacted the same as you and Rainbow if any of this happened to you. At least, before I came to understand how Chrysalis and Anon’s friendship works. It’ll be ok, I promise. As for what I need, I need you to ask Scrappy to live at the castle until Chrysalis makes her move.” Twilight said. Hm, seems Discord wasn’t the only one to consider that option.
“Scrappy? Whatcha need him for, Twilight? Ya know he gets all sensitive when ya mention Chrysalis, don’t ya?” Applejack asked, feeling a little hesitant to just hand Scrappy over.
“Exactly. I’m only asking you to ask him to come for awhile, he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. But I know he still holds a special bond with her, to the point that he has mentioned before that he can sense her when she’s close. If he can help guard the castle, then we’d know for sure when Chrysalis is about to make her move.” Twilight explains.
“...Ah guess that makes sense. If she’s as weak as you’re sayin’, then there’s no way she’s gonna be able to do nothin’ if she’s found out. But Twilight, ah still dunno, this is all still mighty suspicious soundin’.” Applejack said, finally easing up and giving in to the idea.
“I know. But it is the only shot we have, and after what happened, I want to be able to give it a try.” Twilight said, trying to stay optimistic despite the gloomy aura of the room.
“Look…” You sigh “I already told myself I’d deal with Chrysalis if this doesn’t work out. Yeah, that’s right. If even after all this, she wants to be evil… Then I’m just gonna give up. All this isn’t worth the trouble at that point.”
“Oh my, Anon, no, you mustn’t do-” But you cut off Fluttershy as you look at her with a sad frown.
“It’s the only way, Aunt Fluttershy. I can’t help her anymore if this doesn’t work out. I’m willing to do everything I can for her, but I’m at my limit. She’s my responsibility at this point, so it’s my job to do it, no matter what anypony says.” Ngh, that one hurt to say.
“Sheesh, that’s kinda harsh.” Rainbow Dash said as she hovered back to her seat.
“What? What do you mean?” You ask her.
“I mean, I didn’t know it was like that. I, uh, just sorta thought she was just a big bad guy who was just pulling your strings the whole way. Listening to all that, and you getting serious, and stuff… Er, I mean it’s all pretty heavy. I remember her being pretty scummy and all.” Rainbow Dash then finally asks that question, the question that you wanted all to hear the answer to. “So, like, what kind of friendship did you both have, anyway? I heard you both saved an Equestria, so, there’s that. Is that even true?”
…Here we go. “It is. As for my friendship with Chrysalis, it’s one of understanding first and foremost. We get each other, and the fact I was able to look past her evilness allowed us to share moments we still remember and times we both have a good laugh about. Maybe a lot of things isn’t what a pony would call ‘good’, but it allowed us to bond in such a way that we could be honest, or mostly honest, with each other, and experience things we’d never be able to experience with anypony else. In fact, Chrysalis has saved my life, more than once. She even had a chance to steal the horn, more than once. And uh, she did try sometimes, and sometimes she didn’t. Look, the point is, we became such good friends that we managed to be the perfect team when things got heavy. She really is like a sister to me, Rainbow Dash. That’s why I want to save her. And If I can’t, then it’s my responsibility to stop her.”
“Geez… I uh. Um…” Rainbow Dash didn’t know how to reply to that “Really is like that, huh? yeah, hm…”
And then Pinkie Pie began to cry as she slammed her head down on the map “IT’S SO SAD! I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF A FRIENDSHIP LIKE THAT AND THE FACT EVERYTHING IS SO EXTREME MAKES ME WANT TO CRY!”
“Indeed… Given she has gone as far as saving Anon’s life on multiple occasions, I find it difficult to believe there is no good in her. Anypony with that kind of fashion sense has to have good in them somewhere.” Rarity remarked.
“Applejack? W-what do you think? Now that everything has been said, do you still feel the same way?” Fluttershy asked, hoping Applejack would become more understanding.
“Considerin', I still feel mighty uncomfortable about all this. But if ah just stew in mah own hate then that just leaves one less pony to help out. I only really wanted to help out Twilight, but if everypony wants to help Anon too, and Anon, if ya really do feel that way, if everything ya said was all true. Well, ah guess I’m in too. I’ll talk to Scrappy tomorrow about it. That changeling don’t got much sense in him though, really does prides himself as Applebloom’s dog, but he’s as loyal as they come, so ahm sure he’ll help out.” Applejack said, finally giving in.
“Thank you, everypony, I really appreciate this. I’ll be sending a letter to the princesses tomorrow morning to update them on the situation and set a definite time for us to meet. Anon, Fluttershy, you’re welcome to join me if you want. I know the situation is sensitive, so I think it’d help if you both came along.” Twilight asked as she looked to the both of you, relieved everything was finally working out.
“Of course, Twilight, if you need my help, then I’ll be there… Erm, I-I just hope the princesses don’t get too upset.” Fluttershy said, feeling a little shaky about it.
“Don’t worry, Aunt Fluttershy, I’ll be there too. I’m sure everything will work out just fine.” Probably not, but whatever, progress!
“I agree with you, Anon. Everything will turn out alright, and I’m sure we can help Chrysalis. Everypony, it’s getting late now, and I don’t want to keep you all from your beds. I think we’re done here, unless anypony has anything else to say.” Twilight says as she gives out a small yawn.
“I do!” Pinkie Pie says as she zips away, and comes back with a sleeping bag. “As in, I’m not letting you even have to worry about being by yourself tonight! I say we have a sleepover!”
“Aww, Pinkie, it’ll be ok. I do have Spike, you know?” Twilight says, feeling touched that Pinkie would do this, but not wanting to burden her with worry.
“Yeah, ya do, but you can also have us too, Sugarcube. Friends stick together, no matter what, and considering what ya got on your plate right now, a sleepover doesn’t sound half bad.” Applejack says, joining in with Pinkie Pie. “Though, gonna need a place to-” But then Pinkie dashes away, and somehow comes back with just the right amount of sleeping bags. “Ah, never mind.”
“She’s right, Twilight. Can’t let you go solo now that we got this mess on our hooves. I’m in!” Rainbow Dash says.
“Oh my, given the circumstances, I couldn’t possibly say no.” Rarity joins in.
“Anon, would you be comfortable sleeping here with us?” Fluttershy asked.
“Could, um, could I still snuggle up with you and-” and that's when you could suddenly hear snickering coming from… Oh goddammit. “Shut up, Rainbow Dash! I like cuddling, so what?! I could still wreck all of Equestria with my magic if I wanted to!”
“Yikes, alright alright. I’m sorry. Heh, whatever, it’s kind of sweet actually. But uh, wait, doesn’t he have school tomorrow? Or technically his last day of school, or whatever, before he transfers?” Rainbow Dash asked.
WUT?! SCHOOL!? “Ahh geez! Is it?! I completely forgot!”
“Not to worry, Anon. Being, well, me, I can totally have you prepared for your last day without issue and on time. So don’t worry, alright? Just get some sleep.” Twilight said with a cheerful smile.
“Oh, I… Ok then.” Heh, that won’t be so bad.
And so, it was decided to move up to Twilight’s room for everyone to set up and get to sleep. You? You got to snuggle up with Fluttershy, who held you close, her warmth and snugglyness helping you ease up and cool down. The situation was finally working out, you had the support of the six, you had Discord’s support. Hell, everything was working out and you hadn’t even talked to Starlight about it yet.
“There it is, Canterlot Castle. Even now, a monument to all things harmony. Celestia, she must be reading Twilight’s letter as I speak. How dare she, how dare she even think about ruining what is finally so close! Anon, he’s finally near his climax, he can finally drop that hideously annoying worry he has and go back to not fretting over her and teaming up with me to do things. I don’t know what things, but things. And yet, I can already tell, Celestia will delay or even cause a halt to this progression. For Anon’s sake, and my own, I will make sure that is not the case. Really, his constant obsession is enough to drive even the most twisted being straight. But, given I am amazing, I will not fa-” Suddenly, there is a knock on the stall door. You open it to see Discord standing there, annoyed.
“You know, you’re not the only one who has to take a large exposition dump.” He tells you, holding a newspaper as he taps his dragon foot on the ground.
“Oh please, as if yours is as important and large as mine.” You say, preparing to slam the stall door shut.
“The fact that I’m still dealing with the mental anguish that is Fluttershy becoming more and more busy with her little animal sanctuary says plenty. Not to mention that I’m still annoyed for how long she was out before Anon’s false wedding.” Discord explained.
“Oh my, you’ve been holding it in for a very long time. Well…” You stand up, flush the toilet, and step aside. “After you, handsome.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere. But right now, leave me to my privacy.” Discord says as he slams the stall door shut, and begins to monologue. “Fluttershy’s attention, it is both precious and important to me. And while I must come to understand that her attention is not exclusively mine to have, I should have most of it since I am her BEST friend. Yes, I must find…” But you yourself just walk away from the stall as you snap your talons to teleport into the castle itself, as the stall and you were in the clouds above, observing Canterlot and all the… Does it need that much of an explanation? It’s getting boring.
You are Discord, the best ever, the master of chaos, the cool dude everypony wants to be pals with.
You had a mission, something you’d not screw up this time. Celestia, she would prove a hindrance to Anon’s goals. And a hindrance to his goals was a hindrance to your own. Seriously, he’s done nothing but mope or get obsessed ever since Chyrssy tried to end him. All you have to do is make sure things happen in a timely manner and everything should work itself out.
You teleported into Celestia’s chambers, who seems to have woken up not too long ago, and yet she’s already invested in reading the letter Twilight had sent her. Egh, who reads a letter right when they wake up? Maybe Anon isn’t the only one with an obsession. Sometimes, you wonder if Celestia is always gearing up Twilight to handle something. Why? Who knows? Maybe she’s just a jerk. You wait, you wait until she finishes that letter to make your move. You’d make sure to not allow her an inch.
After she finally finished reading the letter, you pop in behind her. No gags, not right now anyway, you had to make sure she understood you were serious. Sort of, mostly, part of you did want to see what would happen if she did hinder things. But you had to get that out of your head, this was too important. “Have a good read, Celestia?”
“Discord?” Celestia said as her eyes widened in surprise. She looked about, then behind herself, and spotted you. “Isn’t it a little early for you to be eavesdropping?”
“It’s never too early for anything chaos related, my dear. And as you may know, the contents of that letter must describe something truly chaotic. Am I wrong?” You ask her as you give her a dominating grin, floating above her and swimming about in the air as you await her response.
“It truly is, I was not expecting this at all. But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised either, Anon’s determination is a little misplaced, but also something to be admired.” Celestia states as she sighs and uses her magic to place the letter on her desk. “He’s gotten farther than anypony else ever has with Chrysalis. To think, she even allowed Twilight into her space, even if it was only for a moment.”
“Yes, yes, you’re impressed. But I do know you, Celestia, I know you well.” You snap your talons, producing a roadblock with Celestia’s face on it. You don a construction helmet and wield a hammer as you continue your speech. “You wish to try to stop Anon and his ridiculously stupid quest to reform Chryssy. Well, let me tell you...” You take the hammer, and smash the barricade to pieces. “I won’t allow it this time. Despite the situation with your student, things have come along too far to let you put a stop to it now. So there! What do you have to say about that?”
Celestia nods. “I’d have to say you’re right, Discord. Given Twilight’s letter, I’d say I have no right to interfere at all.”
“Yes, exa-What?! What do you mean you have ‘no right’?! You’re Princess Celestia, a princess of Equestria! How does anything Twilight has to say bring you to such a decision? If anything, when Twilight tells me something, it makes me want to do the exact opposite!” How?! You were so prepared to bring her down and show her you were ultimately right, like you always are. How did she come to that conclusion on her own?! “Let me see that letter!” You say as you snap your talons to make it appear in your grip. You then begin reading.
“She made it very clear, Discord. She accepts the danger, and Anon accepts the responsibility. And if you look at the paragraph where she mentions that this all is a gigantic test for all involved, well, it made me think.” Celestia said as she began to gaze out the window. “Twilight is no longer my student. She is a princess, just like me, Luna, and Cadance. She has her own responsibilities, her own plans, her own way of doing things, her own destiny. Besides, this situation itself…” Celestia looks to you, she looked rather beaten, and yet, so accepting and happy about something. Sheesh, she must have broke. “Wouldn’t you say that I had put Equestria in danger when I released you?”
Guh! She did, didn’t she? You were in a position to lead Equestria into a glorious new era until Fluttershy managed to actually reform you. “I suppose. I wouldn’t call my plans dangerous however. I like to think of it as a much needed set of renovations to the land.”
“Mhmm, but still a danger in a pony's sense. There are also things like Starswirl’s spell, or even sending Twilight to Ponyville. Not to mention expecting her to stop King Sombra when he re-emerged from the darkness. I had put Twilight, her friends, and this land in danger many a time. I was foolish, and yet, I always felt Twilight could never fail, and she never has. Anon, I’d say, is now undergoing his own trial. And if Twilight is willing… No, if Twilight and her friends are going to stand by his side, and help him, then I have no reason to say anything about it. In fact, there is no need for the kind of meeting Twilight is asking for. She is the Princess of Friendship, and if she feels it will help Anon’s friendship with Chrysalis, then I’m sure she knows what she is doing. Given how she explained the situation, it already seems things are very much in their favor. You needn’t worry about my presence, Discord, I will only make myself known if I am needed for help or guidance.” Celestia explains as she slides away the letter with her magic, and places it back on her desk.
“So, you don’t mind that Twilight is being targeted for destruction?” You ask, befuddled by her reaction. “She made it clear that she is Chryssy’s sole focus.”
“Twilight herself understands that, there is nothing I can add that she and her friends don’t already know. Discord, I apologize if you had a whole stunt you were going to pull against me, but it is how I feel. If it makes you feel better, you can still make a threat towards me. I’m actually quite interested to hear what you were going to say to me.” Celestia said, as her smile became more genuine.
“Egh, why do I even bother with you? Even when I finally have the upper hand, you put a damper on things anyway. What would be the point to threaten you if there is no payoff?” You ask.
“I’m just interested. I don’t know if you know this, but I do find your chaos enjoyable when not used maliciously.” Celestia says.
W-was she complimenting you?! Well, you do deserve a compliment. The chaos you cause is perfect no matter the context.
“Well, in that case, I can astound you with the amazing threat I had planned for you. Prepare yourself, Celestia, as it is not my fault if you cower under your bed.” You start to grow as the room grows dark, with flames bursting on all sides as you point directly at her, speaking to her in a loud booming voice. “Celestia! Know this! Should you stand in my way, you will know nothing but pain and misery! I will force you into a place where everypony fears! That’s right, schooooooool! Nopony enjoys school, we all know it! How ironic would it be to be made into a young filly by use of my magic! And then furthermore, forced to attend the school you yourself founded! Haha! Cower and weep, or do you wish to incur my wrath!?”
Celestia just stood there for a moment, and then began to ponder as she brought her hoof to her chin. “That doesn’t sound too bad at all. It’d give me a chance to learn what all the little fillies and colts are into. I’d love to bring a smile to their face by making or funding something that piques their interest.”
WHAT?! You shrink back to normal as the room returns to its original state. “You can’t just say that! How could you even think that?! Enjoy it?! Nopony enjoys school, nopony!”
“I enjoyed my time learning under Starswirl, as did my sister. If given the chance, I’d not mind it again either. Although, I do like your idea better, Discord. Perhaps a single day wouldn’t hurt.” Celestia said with a coy little giggle.
“I simply cannot believe this. All this tension going on and you just want to relive what must have been a dull childhood. Bah, I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for you, and I don’t have time for this watch.” You hold up your arm to point out a faceless watch. “Seriously, your nonsense literally wiped this clock’s face off of Equestria. The nerve of you! Money doesn’t grow on trees, y’know!?” You say as you make a bag of bits grow out from the castle floor, grab it, and pocket it. “Now then, since you wish to be overly silly and just plain wrong, especially when compared to me, I’ll be going. And don’t you dare go back on your word. I can be quite the hypocrite, Celestia, so I’ll know best of all if you just decide to pull something like that.” You say as you waggle your talon at her. “Hmph, now if you excuse me, I need to replace my timepiece.”
“You have a good day, Discord. And don’t worry, you needn’t worry about me. I’m sure Twilight, Anon, and all their friends have the situation covered.” Celestia said as she gave you a sunny little smile.
You just narrowed your eyes at her, and snapped yourself away back to the house. The nerve of her! She managed to already resist being a nosy nose pony before you even got the chance to threaten her or even toy with her! And wanting to be a filly again, bah, now who would want that? In Anon’s case, he’s never been a colt before, so that doesn’t count.
Whatever, it will be fine. Once this is all over, it will be your time once again! Not like anything else could pop up to ruin everything. You're Discord! If something does show up to gain Anon’s total attention, you could easily deal with it yourself! Though, Fluttershy’s little sanctuary, can’t really do anything about that. And it does make her happy. Agh, thinking too much is hard, napping on the ground for awhile should do your chaotic body some good! In fact, why not just make it like a tropical paradise? Yes, a bed of hot coals is just what the doctor ordered!
Now, all you could hope for is Anon not screwing anything else up. He’s such a good friend, but ridiculously hard headed.
“Anon…” You hear a voice call to you in your sleep
“Anon, I’m just…” And with that, you feel your sleeping bag pulled from you so hard that you spin and fall on your back. “There, good, awake already. We need to talk, like, right now.”
What in the?! You quickly stand up, awoken from your slumber, and look around. Who would just pull, OH SHIT! “Starlight?! W-what are you doing here?! Why are you waking me up so early?!” You felt your heart jump start not only from the sudden waking, but the fact that you were already worried about Starlight finding out about the recent going ons with Chrysalis. Like fuck, you wanted to tell her on your own time, but given her hard stare, it seems she already found out.
“Came here to talk to Princess Twilight about letting me majorly adjust my office at the school. But then that turned into me finding out about all this new Chrysalis stuff. Like, really?! I understand this all happened in a span of a day and nopony had time to tell me. But if there was going to be a meeting, I should have been there! And no, I’m not mad at you, I know it was Twilight who called that meeting. And no, I’m not mad at her, I was, but now I’m not, we had an argument annnnnndddd….” Starlight then points to you, shit, she was already really on edge. “Really, Anon? How could you possibly think it’s that simple?! Nopony even thought of all the possibilities Chrysalis can think of to break that deal without actually breaking it! Ugh, even then, this is why I said to be careful, especially around her! I can’t believe this is happening at all. Anon, ugh…” Starlight sighs as she falls onto her butt, taking a seat in front of you as she composes herself. “I mean, if you were at least planning to visit her, why didn’t you take me instead? I know how Twilight can be, she even made me tell her to be quiet during one of her friendship speeches, like, after she stopped me.”
Oh hell, what the fuck is even going on? Twilight told her, it seems, and she got mad, and now she’s not mad?! Wut? “C-calm down, Starlight. Ok, um, so you know what happened, I guess. I mean, I was gonna tell you about it when I got the chance. Heh, mostly because I was worried you’d flip out if you found out some other way. Which, er, you did? Look, let’s start slow… Erm.” You look at her sheepishly. “Y-you said you weren’t mad at me, that’s true, right? Why? I thought you’d be really pissed at me no matter what, even with all the short notice everypony had. I know Applejack and Rainbow Dash got plenty angry when they were told.”
“Well, sort of, I actually was reeeeaaallly mad at you. Because, y’know, I tell you to be careful all the time. But I don’t know why I expect you to listen to me. I guess Twilight felt the same way when you got obsessed with protecting me way back when. And yeah, that’s when I realized you really just got this big thing with wanting to protect your friends, especially those you really have a good connection with. I mean, Chrysalis has tried to end you, and yet you’re somehow still good friends, it’s crazy. The only reason I can even guess as to why you do that is because you have so few friends already who ‘get’ you and your more human tendencies. Stop me if I’m wrong, but I think that’s the gist of it.” Starlight said, still rather stressed about everything. And holy shit. That, uh, was that it? It sounded right. When the fuck did she get this insightful?
“U-umm, I… Yeah? Geez, Starlight, are you ok? It sounds like your mind just went through a million conversations with yourself to figure all that out. I sorta only thought about it a few times, but it lines up. When did you get so psycho analytical?” Like, yeah, this felt a little unnerving coming from her.
“Just the first two days of counseling students has given me a real edge on figuring others out. You wouldn’t believe some of the big worries they have. I’m still trying to figure out some answers for a few of them to help put their nerves at ease.” Starlight tells you as she smiles and puts a hoof to her chest. “It’s pretty fulfilling though. I can see why Twilight likes helping others so much.”
“Yeah…” Ok, this was still unsettling. “So, you’re really not pissed at me? I kind of had it in my head that we were going to have this really big talk.”
Starlight rolls her eyes at you. “Anon, the world doesn’t revolve around you. What do you think this is, some story where everypony needs to know everypony else's lives through a singular character?”
Uhhhh… “Uhh, maybe? No, not really. Um, that’s oddly specific though for you to say that.”
Starlight suddenly felt a cold chill as she covered her chest with her legs. “I know, I suddenly feel creeped out. But uh, yeah, no. I’ve had time to figure it out. Plus, and don’t tell her I said this, but everyday living with Trixie sort of tempers my, well, temper.” Starlight then looks to you, and raises her hoof and taps the air, as if remembering something. “Actually, and I know this is going off the very important and main issue of Chrysalis, but I did speak to a friend of yours. You know Smolder, right?”
“Yeah, look, I won’t tell you what we talked about, but I’m gonna tell you this. When you finally are taking classes at the school, do not let your eyes just trail off to every pretty mare you see. I swear, Anon, I do not want to deal with a bunch of students coming to me saying that the ‘Hero Colt’ is kind of creepy. Understand?” Starlight asks you, giving you a serious stare.
WHAT IN THE FUCK DID SMOLDER TELL STARLIGHT?! “Hey! I’m not that kind of colt! I have a marefriend, remember? I’m totallytrfgdmmfmdmgfmgmdfgfd” Suddenly, you can feel magical hands just gently stroking your mane and scratch along your back. You can’t help but stare at Starlight now, she suddenly looked so adorable. “Nnhnmmm”
“Yeah, like I said…” Starlight pulls back the magical hands and gives you a bop on the head with a hoof “I don’t want to deal with the other students calling you creepy, ok? Keep yourself in check.”
Geez, she didn’t have to bop you like that. Goddamn, you could easily handle yourself around some chicks. “First of all, that’s cheating. Secondly, I am in check!”
“Sometimes I wonder…” Starlight said, with another eyeroll, but she does have a quick chuckle about it before getting serious again. “Ok, on to business. Chrysalis, yeah, you all seem to have a pretty good plan. Except for the fact that none of you realize that she could just as easily get somepony else to get Twilight, hurting everypony in their path as they do so. How are we going to get around that?”
Huh, Chrysalis could do that, couldn’t she? But given this is a chaotically bound deal, it most likely had near douchebag genie-like rules. “Uhhh, don’t think she would do that. Chrysalis understands chaos pretty good, and the deal she made most likely extends to anypony she hires. She’d still be the cause of somepony else getting hurt, so that would be a big risk. And even then, I doubt there is anypony out there who’d want to kill Twilight. So whoever she gets wouldn’t be a pony, and would stick out like a sore hoof. And that is assuming, of course, she’s crazy enough to trust somepony to even try. Chrysalis doesn’t do partnerships either, she only does minions, and as we all know, most minions are kind of dumb.”
“So that is how it works, huh? Hmmmm…” Starlight began to ponder on that. “So as long as they are going by her will, it’d still be a big risk to her. Hm, kind of hard to figure out a way to use somepony else to get at Twilight if it still risks jeopardizing her existence. I already know she would have trouble doing it herself if what Twilight said was true about that weird changeling that lives with Applejack.”
“Yeah, we pretty much have our bases covered. Plus, Chrysalis is really weak right now, she couldn’t do anything to Twilight in her state. Without siphoning a crazy amount of love, she won’t be able to take her on in any way. Her plan is doomed to fail, I even think she knows that too. It’s just, y’know, her way of coping.” You sigh. Dammit, Chrysalis, as easy as a win this is, it’s still crazy to think she’d make such a deal. She was at such a terrible disadvantage, to the point it makes you think you’d have to protect her from accidentally hurting anypony else in some kind of rage.
“I dunno, she doesn’t seem like the type to just give up. But I can’t think of a way of getting close to Twilight without being noticed. Anon, look, just because everything seems one hundred percent foolproof, doesn’t mean it is. Watch your back, please. There could still be a way to use you to achieve her goals. She may not be able to hurt you, but if she gets that horn, then there is no way we can practically stop her if she beelines towards Twilight. I mean it, Anon. You want to see me angry at you? Mess this up and I’ll probably be the one in Tartarus. I’m serious, I know this could be it, the big one for your friendship with her, but be careful anyway. Got it, understand?” Starlight looks to you, a half serious, and half worried stare. She just wanted you to be ok, for you to be happy, for you to have your goal. But she also doesn’t want to see her other friends turned to soup.
“Y-yeah, Starlight. I promise, for reals this time, I won’t let you down.” You tell her as you pat your chest. “We’re equals, right?”
“Yeah, heh.” Starlight giggles as she baps your head lightly “Except when you finally show up for your classes, then I’ll be your counselor. Don’t worry, I can work out your kinks.” Starlight said with a wink.
You wink at her back. “You know, in human, you just sort of implied you’d have sex with me in kinky ways.”
Starlight’s expression soured as her horn glowed, bringing you a saddlebag with school supplies that she drops on your face.
“Ouch! Geez, sorry, gawd.” You say as you rub your nose, sneezing once, and then exhaling a bit to clear it up.
“I’m sure you are. These are your school supplies for your last day, Twilight told me to give them to you.” Starlight tells you, still rather displeased with that last comment.
“I guess. Fuck, uh, where is everypony anyway? I expected hugs from my aunt and breakfast and stuff.” Where did everybody go?
“My guess is Fluttershy just let you have your sleep, they all have responsibilities, y’know? Twilight is up in her library now, researching surveillance spells while she waits for Applejack to bring Scrappy over. And you, Anon, need to get going, you only have about twenty minutes to get to class.” Starlight tells you as she tries to ease up from your saucy comment.
“Pfft, is that all? I could get there in one, but I think I’ll walk it anyway to enjoy the morning air.” You still had one more day of unlimited POWAR! And you did want to finally visit Tempest Shadow. Been awhile since you’ve seen her, and this is the perfect opportunity to make a day of it. Just had to wait for school to end. You put on your horn and summon up your own saddlebag, opening it to let in your school supplies from the bag Starlight gave you. “Also, this is the only saddlebag I use. Near unlimited space, and yet I can always pull out what I need.”
“Just remember what I told you, Anon, don’t get too cocky, that’s all. Anyway, I better be getting to the office. Remember what I said, stay out of trouble, and keep your eyes open. But not for other mares, got it?” Starlight asks you
You nod “Yeah, I got it. You take care, Starlight.”
“You too, Anon” Starlight says back to you.
And she just teleports away after that. Ah, it gave you an itch to do that yourself, but you really did want to take the time to relax and uhh, oof, your tummy. Yeah, you use your magic to summon up a delicious sandwich for you to eat as you make your way out of the castle. And as you munch and trot down the entrance stairs to the castle, you suddenly hear a weak little whine.
“Pwofessor…” Said the weak little voice.
What? When you look to the side, just at the bottom of the steps… “Cozy?”
“Mhmm, Pwofessor…” Cozy looked upon you, worried more than anything, with big teary eyes. “A-are you ok? Did she hurt you?”
‘Did she hurt you’? What the hell OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “U-umm, who hurt me? Y-you mean, Twilight?”
Cozy shook her head “No, Headmare Twilight would never do that. I-I meant that mean ole Queen C-chrysalis. Golly, I was b-by H-headmare Twilight’s office when I heard Spike say to the other professors where you and her were. It made me awfully worried. No, not worried, I was so so scared for you. A-and…” Cozy rushed over to you and started to cry “I’m soooo glad you’re ok. Gee willikers, Anon, it must have been so scawy. I know I would have been super duper scared if I had to face such a big meanie.”
You tensed hard. S-shit, goddammit, Spike, is that door not soundproofed or something?! Oh no, how the fuck were you going to explain away this one?! Poor thing, she must have been sick with worry. You gently nuzzle into her, brushing your hoof on the back of her head. “H-hey, Cozy, it’s ok! Everything is fine, neither me nor Twilight was hurt. We just sort of went to deal with a special something, that’s all, don’t cry, ok? I was just, well, ummm.” Cats out of the bag, Anon. “Trying to reform her, that’s all.”
Cozy sniffed, then looked back up at you, her eyes just leaking tears. “B-but, why her? I know her hive is all good now, but isn’t she still bad? Are you trying to reform her, like you did with counselor Starlight? Gee, Anon, that sounds really dangerous. Y-you’re my only friend, I can’t stand it, it’s too scawy thinking she can hurt you.”
Wow, she was really focused on you, she didn’t even mention Twilight’s involve- Wait, you’re her only friend, still!? “U-ummm, well, y’know. It’s what I do. But it’s a super secret kind of thing I’m doing, Cozy. You have to promise me you won’t tell anypony, ok?”
“O-ok” Cozy said without hesitation or reluctance. “W-what are you doing now? D-do you want to play with me? We can go to my room, and play with my dollies, i-it’ll be fun. You can show us all your hero training, t-that’s what those things are on your legs are for, right?” It looked like she was trying really hard to find a way to cheer up. It seemed the actual matters at hand didn’t bother her, she was just really worried about you.
And ah damn, you really would, but you do have to go to school. Dammit, Anon, think. How are you going to get this filly to smile?! “Ah, um… Yeah, that’s what it is. And, well, I gotta go to my last day of regular school actually. Umm, s-sorry. But hey, I still got some time! Look, you said something that’s got me really worried for you now.” Ok, time to find out how she doesn’t have any friends.
“Right, umm… Yeah, I guess that’s important. Erm, but you’re worried about me now? Anon, I’m not in any twouble, really I’m not. You don’t have to worry about me, not o-one bit.” Cozy said, sounding like she was going to shatter right there and then.
“But I do worry, Cozy. You said I was your only friend. I know it’s only been a couple of days that Twilight’s school has been open, but you haven’t been able to make another friend yet? Have you tried?” Like seriously, this was one of the sweetest fillies you ever met, how could she fail at friendship?
Cozy’s ears folded in, she just looked down in shame, tapping her hooves together. “W-well, I do have my puppets and dolls, they’re my friends. Oh, and you too, of course! But… I have tried making other friends, weally, I have! Golly, Anon, I’ve tried so many things already. From offering to carry books to helping with friendship notes. I’ve even held the door open for everycreature I meet. But nocreature looks at me, or thanks me, or anything. Sometimes they even laugh at me because when I try to carry my books with their books, I fall over. I feel so dumb, I felt like I could make friends with everycreature, but I can’t make any friends at all. I-I thought about talking to Counselor Starlight about it, but then I got afraid that she’d just laugh at me too.” Cozy then looks to you, then falls over, planting her face to the ground. “I’m so sowwy, Pwofessor, I’m not good enough to even be your friend!”
“That’s not true!” You grab onto Cozy again, and hug her tight. “You’ll always be my friend, Cozy, always! Ngh, look, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” What the fuck kind of school was Twilight running?! Well, you knew about at least five of the foreign students, and they seemed cool enough. Ugh, but what about everyone else? It is a friendship school, so does that mean a bunch of the students are just hardasses that Twilight wants to drill the magic of friendship into their heads?! Was that it!?
“Why?! Why are you sorry, Professor?!” Cozy doesn’t break the hug, no, she hugs tighter, leaking her tears onto your back. “You didn’t do anything wrong at all. It’s me, I’m the bad pony!”
NGH! NO! THAT ISN’T IT AT ALL! “No, Cozy, I do have something to be sorry about. I know I said I can’t hang out with you a lot because I’m always out doing something, but that’s just it, I let myself lose my focus and didn’t take your feelings into account or even really got to know you. You made me your best friend and everything, and I couldn’t be there for you. And the worst part is, I still really can’t, especially right now.”
“I-I know, it’s because of your hero work, right? It’s ok, Anon, it weally is. I-I don’t mind being alone, honest.” Cozy said, her voice, and her hug, becoming pathetic and weak.
“And that’s just it, Cozy, I won’t let that happen either.” You slowly back off from her. She looked at you, confused, as you placed your horn on your head. You didn’t know if you could conjure what you were going to conjure, you didn’t know if it’d be chaotically in line enough. But goddammit, for this filly, you really needed it to happen. You said you won’t let it happen, you won’t, YOU CAN’T. You focus your entire mind on these mind shattering thoughts, and use it to conjure a… “Holy crap, I did it? I-I mean, Cozy, BEHOLD! THE ANSWERS TO YOUR PROBLEM!”
Cozy quickly wiped her eyes, looking at your conjured item with confusion and amazement. It simply looked like an old little trinket. “The a-answer? A-Anon, what is it?”
“A compass! Ah, but not just any compass, Cozy. This compass is a magical compass, a special kind of magical compass that will solve your friendship issue. How does it do that? I’ll tell you! It will only work until you find what you’re looking for, and it will only point to your true heart’s desire.” Thank you Pirates of the Caribbean. “And I know…” You give Cozy a gentle poke on her chest. “That your true heart’s desire, is to find a friend. A friend who will always be there for you.”
“Professor? I-I, is that true? Does it weeeaaaallllyy do that?” Cozy looked at the compass intently, almost hungrily even. She even gave it a poke. To you, she just seemed innocently skeptical, despite her intense stare.“You’re not fibbing, a-are you?”
You shake your head, feeling proud, tears coming down your eyes as you knew what to expect after this. “Nope. I may not be able to hang with you as much as you need, Cozy. But I’m still your friend, and I want to help you anyway I can. This compass will point you to the pony or creature that will end up being your friend. Of course, you’ll still need to do the groundwork to make that friend, but this will point you in the right direct-OMF” Cozy just dive hugs into you, crying again, nuzzling her head all along the side of your head. “Cozy, I’m still sorry…”
“Anon, you don’t need to be sorry.” Cozy backed up again, and even raised her hoof to wipe your tears away. She took a breath, and gave you such a sunny smile. “You do so much for me, despite barely knowing me. You make me feel like a big filly, a filly who will never give up! I call you professor because you always manage to teach me something about friendship! And now, as your student, I have to show you what I learned!” Cozy takes the compass, and holds it up. “Don’t worry, Professor! I won’t let you down!”
...Heh, what a good little filly. How could you doubt such determination. “I know you won’t, Cozy. And don’t worry, I’ll make a lot more time for you soon, especially when I start going to Twilight’s school.”
“I can’t wait! Then you can show me all the fun things you like to do too! And- Oh no! Anon, don’t you have school? You better hurry!” Cozy said, shocked, putting her hooves to her cheeks.
“Huh?! Right! Wait, but. Cozy, still, I mean, it’s not that import-” But Cozy cuts you off, closes her eyes, and shakes her head.
“It is important! This is the last day you’ll be able to learn with your friends at school. Professor, you already gave me everything I need, you really helped me out! It’ll only be one more day, right? Then we can have all kinds of fun together. Don’t worry about me, I’m alright now. But if you don’t go to school right now, I’ll be very mad at you, mister.” Cozy gives you an angry pout, before suddenly giving you an adorable grin.
D’aaawww. “Alright, Cozy, you convinced me. O-oh, wait. One more thing, that compass? Yeah, also, make sure to use it when you really need to use it. It only works once, and uh…” You weren’t exactly sure it’d work without a more chaotic reasoning given how you made it. “Just make sure you use it when you really need to, ok?”
Cozy nods, and smiles. “Ok! I promise! Oh, I got something to say too, Professor! Be careful with your mission, ok? I never want to see my best friend and greatest teacher with a frowny face. I know you can do it, but you weeeeaaallly need to be careful too! Promise me, Anon, promise me you’ll be careful!”
Ooh, lordy, first Starlight, now Cozy. Yeah, you can be careful, especially now that everything was coming together anyway. You just give Cozy a wink and a gentle mane ruffle “No sweat, I promise, Cozy Glow.”
“Yay! Now you get going, Anon, or else you’ll be late!” Cozy giggles as she gives you a warning.
“Gotcha.” You nod to her as you start to walk off, waving goodbye to her. You did good again, Anon, you solved a problem before it festered.
But, that problem, Cozy not being able to make another friend. As you trotted towards Cheerilee’s class, you couldn’t help but feel like something was amiss. Again, Cozy is very adorable and sweet, and unless Twilight’s school is full of delinquents, it doesn’t seem too likely she’d have trouble making at least one friend there within the first two days, not unless everyone was nervous or something. Also, what was she doing eavesdropping on the five and Spike like that? Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but it does seem weird they’d talk about Chrysalis so openly without someone noticing someone else could hear. And the compass, the way she looked at it. Was she desperate? Or was it something else? Then again, she was a filly, maybe she just saw all her answers within the compass. A friend, right? Yeah, what else could the compass point to? A toy maybe? Her parents? A coltfriend? Oohh, you suddenly felt a bit of dread, hoping that damn thing didn’t lead her back to you.
“Anon! Hey, Anon!” You heard yelled out, coming from behind you. You were already on the road to school, but given some foals were already rushing, you may have spent a little too long with Cozy. “Wait up!”
You look back, to see Scootaloo rushing towards you, donned in her helmet and riding her scooter, fast as always. “Scoots? Hey, what’s up?”
Scootaloo quickly circles around you, then stops beside you. “Going to school, that’s what’s up. This is your last day, right? You got anything cool planned? Y’know, maybe a little something something to make it memorable?”
“If you mean a little chaos magic to lighten the mood. Eh, nah, I want to spare Miss Cheerilee any heart attacks today. Wait, so you know this is my last day?” Huh, you didn’t tell her earlier at one point, did you?
“Everypony knows, news spreads fast when it comes to you. ‘Hero Colt soon to enter the soon to be prestigious ‘School of Friendship’ or something like that. I dunno, everypony makes a big deal over nothing sometimes. I mean, is the school even that great? Other than Rainbow Dash, of course, it sounds like any other school to me.” Scootaloo asked as she began to steadily scoot forward towards the school.
You shrug, you had no clue, other than the fact it might be possible the students are assholes. “I mean, from the few times I went in, I saw some baking… And there was like this assignment to say hi to everypony in town. But it’s still pretty early. Who knows, maybe it’ll have something that’d make you and the others want to join in too, eh?”
“Maybe, but me and the other crusaders didn’t get any invites to the school. Weird, considering, y’know, Rarity and Applejack work there. But enough about that, are you nervous at all about going? Then again, why are you going? Oh wait, never mind, I totally forgot you got this whole crazy sense of friendship thing going on.” Scootaloo said. The way she said it, you could sense bitterness all of a sudden... You knew what she meant. Ugh, why even mention it? It seemed to come out of the blue.
“Scoots, I dunno, maybe you don’t have to hold on to that grudge anymore, y’know? Chrysalis is hurting too. I know you don’t like her, but she really isn’t as bad as you think.” Ugh, you were lying a bit there, and yet, you really wanted it to be true. “Why even bring it up?”
“Ngh… I dunno. I mean, maybe that was my way of wanting to talk about it. Applebloom overheard Applejack talking to Scrappy about something related to her. You’re really trying again, huh? You shouldn’t involve him, he’s only going to get hurt. He doesn’t deserve it.” Scootaloo was upset, it seemed. Ugh, not just Cozy then, the CMC knew too. Not as much as she did, it seemed, but enough for it to be a bother.
“Yeah, but I’m really making progress this time. Look, right now… Wait, so you don’t even know what my shackles are for? You didn’t even mention anything about them.” What was that all about? You’d think she’d have noticed.
“Those? I thought you were just trying to be really edgy today, since it’s your last day. I uh, you do know they look terrible on you, right?” Scootaloo said, now curious as to the true purpose of the shackles are. “What, are they for something else?”
“Erm, look, Scoots. I’ll say this to you, and you can tell Sweetie and Applebloom, but nopony else. I’ll also tell Diamond, of course, because she’s kinda in the whole loop with Chrysalis. But uh… Ok, Chrysalis sort of made a magical bet that she could end Twilight without hurting anypony else. And it kinda conjured these things on me and her to signify how binding it all is. Understand?” Oh no, she already came to a full stop, looked at you with big wide eyes, and shouted...
“WHAT?! HOW C-” But you saw this coming. You grab your horn and pull the same zipper magic on her mouth that Discord would use on you.
“Quiet! Geez, ok? Yes, it happened, Twilight was there. She and the others are ok with it, we got it all sorted out. Scoots, c’mon. No, you know, don’t even mention that to the others, ok? Our secret, I really do not need this going out of proportion, ok? Please? Promise me you won’t tell. Just tell them the basics, since they already know about Scrappy.” Fuck man, you could already see the CMC getting in the way. The last thing you needed was the trio fucking ruining everything you worked for because they got really scared over it. Scootaloo herself, you realized, couldn’t say anything as she pointed at her zippered mouth. Right…
You reach over and pull the zipper back, allowing Scootaloo to speak again. She gives you a hard and even angry stare. “Don’t ever do that again, got it? Also, are you serious? Why can’t I tell them? They are just going to get super curious if I just mention you're trying to reform Chrysalis again.”
“Because, truthfully, this is the final final FINAL thing I need to do to get Chrysalis to reform. It’s part of the deal, and we already have enough of a plan to make sure Chrysalis can’t win. Scoots, please, I know they’re your best friends, but I really need you to keep it a secret. Please, it would mean a lot to me. Just tell them I'm just giving it a shot.” Please, Scoots, pleeease.
“I guess, if you tell me why they need Scrappy.” Scootaloo says.
“They only need him to sense when Chrysalis gets close to Twilight. Part of the deal is that Chrysalis has to strike eventually. So with Scrappy, we’d know for sure if she’s around.” You tell her
Scootaloo’s expression just twisted slightly, she looked confused. “Uhhhh, don’t you still have your map? It can pinpoint both Chrysalis and Scrappy, right? Why didn’t you just give it to Twilight?””
“I…” Your eyes go wide… Right, she was fucking right. Damn, Starlight was right, there were still possibilities to consider, at least on the defensive side. “Uhm, truthfully, I didn’t think of that.”
“Uh huh, hmph, well, I guess this is why we’re partners. Hmmmnnn….” Scootaloo, as quickly as she eased up, suddenly tensed, pondered, then sighed. “Anon, I still don’t like this at all, but you’ve been trying so hard for so long. Are you really sure this is it? We can help you, y'know?”
“I’d really like to think so, Scoots. I already said I’d put a stop to her myself if she tries anything else. I really can't accept any more help, this is endgame for me. Please, understand.” You tell her, your mood lessening as your thoughts drifted to having to put down Chrysalis.
“That’s pretty heavy. But what she’s doing is pretty crazy too, I’d never make a deal like that, it’s stupid. So stupid, it kind of makes me think she’s desperate for something. Um, like, she wants to lose.” Scootaloo said, her own mood dropping as well, as her mind became conflicted with wanting to see you succeed and wanting to see Chrysalis just… Go away.
For you, well, at least someone got it. “That is what I’m thinking too. It just has to be, right? Why else would somepony make a deal that doesn’t benefit them whatsoever.”
“Yeah, thinking about it, I totally see what you mean. Alright, alright, for real, I won’t say anything to anypony they won't already know. As for Scrappy, I guess I... Uh, I guess I can just say you said to ask Applejack. I'm sure she'll tell us something that has nothing to do with anything. But, Anon, you better keep me updated, ok? And don’t leave anything out.” Scootaloo looks to you, she wanted to involve herself in some way, or at least know of the ongoing progress of this endeavor.
Ugh, fine. She already knew enough. And she did come up with the map idea, you’d have to give it to Twilight after school, she’ll need it more than you do at this point. “Got it, thanks, Scoots.”
“No problem, now let’s hurry up! We’re gonna be late if we don’t hurry.” And with that, you and Scootaloo headed straight to school. Heh, another line of defense, brought on by Scootaloo. Maybe letting her know about this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Though, looking at her, you could see it was still weighing in on her mind. As for the others, no doubt they'd still be curious, you'd just have to hope Scootaloo can stifle that curiosity somehow.
The school wasn’t too far at this point, You just trotted along with Scootaloo, keeping pace as other foals were already entering the building. But Scootaloo stopped after a moment when the last foal could be seen going in, as if she noticed something wrong. “That’s weird.”
You slow to a stop, wondering what was on her mind. “What is?”
“The bell, it didn’t ring. It's weird, since we’re late.” Scootaloo said as she moved her helmet to scratch at her head.
You shrug. “I dunno, maybe somepony forgot to ring it? Why is it a big deal?”
“I’ve never heard the bell being rung late before, huh. And I know we have school today. Oh, maybe Miss Cheerilee got sick or something. That makes sense, right?” Scootaloo asked as she began to slowly scoot over to the school again, you following.
“I guess? What’s wrong, Scoots? You seemed pretty spooked all of a sudden.” Why was she suddenly on edge? Not like having a substitute or school being cancelled for a day would be that big of a deal. Hell, Cheerilee probably forgot to ring the damn thing.
“I got a bad feeling, that’s all.” Scootaloo said as she parked her scooter next to the door. “Like, a feeling that I’m only feeling because it has something to do with you. No offense or anything, it’s just there’s always usually something, y’know?”
“Yeah, but I really doubt anything is going to happen in class.” You tell her as you began to make your way inside.
“What? Anon, something ALWAYS happens when you’re at school. Well, sometimes always, like it’s some sort of law or something that something happens most of the time. Hmmm…” Scootaloo peers inside. Everyone was in their seats, and it looked like Miss Cheerilee was at her desk, she could see her mane, but her face was covered by a giant newspaper she was reading. This somehow triggered something in Scootaloo as she gulped, as if she had learned something by being around you so much. “Ah, nuts. Anon, I think your Dad is here.”
“How do you… Oh geez, can he be any more obvious?” You looked through the door next to Scootaloo, spotting the ‘silent teacher’ reading her paper as the other students began to feel a little nervous, some even raising their hooves to try to catch ‘her’ attention. “What does he even want? Like, Scoots, trust me when I say this, I have no clue.”
“That kind of makes things scary, Anon. Last time he decided to teach a lesson, things went really wrong… Sorta. I mean, we all learned something, but it was like, crazy real on how he did it. I can’t even think... Wait, what did he do with Miss Cheerilee then?!” Scootaloo said, backing up in shock.
“I’m really hoping she’s just sleeping somewhere. Look, whatever, we can deal with this. If he tries anything, I’ll just tell him off, ok?” Like seriously, you don’t mind Discord most of the time, but when it comes to school, he’s always causing a ruckus. “Let’s just go in casually, and see what he wants.”
“Mnnn... “ Scootaloo didn’t really answer as she continued to look on. She was pondering on something, and just like that, she calmed down. “Maybe… it won’t be so bad. I mean, that whole thing that happened at the wedding, and the fact we’re supposed to be friendly with each other because of Four. Maybe he just wants a chance to teach a lesson before you go away. Maybe this won’t be as bad as we think.”
Hm? Well, that was a sudden change of heart. “You suddenly aren’t worried? I dunno, Scoots. The deepest most emotional thing can happen to him and he can still be a jerk when he wants to be.”
“Except to your Aunt. And since we’re all here, and we had good memories with his clones, I just think maybe I was overthinking things. Think about it, sure he probably put Miss Cheerilee somewhere dumb, but would he really just decide to be a jerk to me and the girls, and even Diamond? We’re all supposed to be friends, so, yeah, maybe he just wants to teach us something cool.” Scootaloo, why was she trying to rationalize this? Then again, why are you doubting it? Diamond is here, and when it comes to her, he seems to show her a lot of respect. Weird, but he does it. Maybe Scootaloo was right.
“I dunno, still kind of weird, but it makes sense. Can’t really think of a reason for Dad to be a jerk all of a sudden anyway, me and him have been really tight lately. Plus, given this is in front of everypony, I don’t think he’d want my Aunt finding out he did anything bad.” You said.
Huh, Scoots was really making sense now that you thought about it. Discord really had no reason at all to be an ass today.
“Alright! Let’s go! I’m kind of excited to see what he’s got planned!” Scootaloo, becoming more positive as she thought of what Discord could do, went inside and took her seat.
You didn’t really reply, you just walked in. Many of the ponies inside began to gaze at you as you took your seat. All except Snips, who seemed more caught up with talking to Snails about something.
“Miss Cheerilee? We’re all here now.” Pip spoke out “You’ve been awfully silent, is there something in the paper that’s part of today’s lesson?”
And it happened, Discord, with a wig matching Cheerilee’s mane, tosses the paper away as he looks upon the class. He was donned in eyeglasses and a blue vest with a red tie and white undershirt. “No, but I can assure you that today’s lessons will be quite interesting.” Discord said with a malicious smile. And while you expected some or all of the class to rise up, scream in terror, and run… None of them did, both to you and Discord’s surprise. “Aren’t any of you going to yell my name or try to jump out the window? I have them all set to have you drop right in from another window and I will not have them being unused.”
Pip just blinked, and continued to speak with a smile. “Mr. Discord? Oh hello, erm, why would we do that? You’re the ‘Hero Colt’s’ father! You’re amazing!”
“... Uh huh, despite the last time being the exact opposite of that? And the rest of you, you’re all fine with me teaching today?” Discord asked, only further confused by the class’s reaction.
“I mean, I’m ready to run if anything crazy happens, I also know I’m just gonna use the door if it does.” Rumble says, not really minding, but ready to bolt on the word go.
“Ahrm, what he means to say is that we don’t mind you teaching us today. This is Anon’s last day, after all, so of course we’d be prepared to learn from somepony as great as you.” Diamond answered, already brown nosing.
Discord blinked silently, then looked over to the CMC specifically. “And you three, not even suspicious?”
“Well, I’m not, especially since we know deep down you like us now.” Scootaloo told Discord, grinning genuinely at him with a warm smile.
“He does? Scootaloo…” Sweetie moved over and whispered in her ear “Did you forget that this is still Discord, and that Miss Cheerilee is missing?”
Scootaloo leans over, and whispers back. “Yeah, but she’s probably fine. Plus, remember, me and him are supposed to be friends. I’m willing to give him a chance, so how about you two?”
“Ah guess.” Applebloom whispered, leaning in to join the conversation “But do you really think he has all of them memories?”
“You know I can hear the three of you, right? You’re right there. What makes you think I’m even here to teach an actual lesson? For all you know, I could be here to do something crazy and involve everypony in something scary and dangerous.” Discord retorts, not at all enjoying how everyone is being so accepting of his presence. “Do you really think a couple of memories can keep me from having my fun?”
“Um, maybe not, but you like enough of us here to maybe not do those things. Plus, if you were going to do something like that, you wouldn’t tell us you were going to.” Scootaloo says, smashing Discord’s ‘malicious’ position with logic.
Discord just stares at Scootaloo for a long moment, silently, before shifting himself and pointing at Silver Spoon. “And you, you’re not worried about what I’m going to do?”
“U-ummm, i-if Diamond isn’t scared, then I’m not scared.” Silver Spoon said, adjusting her glasses from her shaking, and slowly ducking her head as her ears folded.
Discord raised a claw to try to tell her that she was dead wrong, but then he looked into Diamond’s eager smile, and stopped himself. “I see… and-” And suddenly, there was a pony cutting him off with a fearful scream. “Finally, now who is that scream-OOPH!” Discord, as powerful as he is, is actually shoved aside as Snips rushes through him to get to you.
Snips just looks at you frantically, shaking, and says with a shout. “THIS IS YOUR LAST DAY?! WHY DIDN’T ANYPONY TELL ME YOU WERE MOVING AWAY FROM PONYVILLE?!”
“I, uh, what? I thought… Why? What? I’m not even moving away from Ponyville, I’m just going to Twilight’s school, that’s all. I technically don't even live in Ponyville anyway. Why does tha-” But Snips just hops on you, and starts crying as he squeezes you tightly, enough that you could barely breathe.
“Noooo! You can’t go! I’ll be alone in my dream to become an extraordinary pony!” Snips cried out, still squeezing as tightly as he can. “Snails gets to be a famous Buckball player, you’re the Hero Colt, and I’m nothing! You have to let me be your sidekick now, you just have to!”
Gyah! Geez! How could he still be on this?! You fall backwards and do your best to shake him off as you try to gain breath. “Snips! Geez! Snips, get off! Get off!”
“I can’t! What else am I supposed to do to become super wicked cool!” Snips cried out. “You can’t just go! I neeeed youAGHH!” Suddenly, Snips is grabbed by the tail and pulled back. Discord, annoyed that he was interrupted, holds Snips at eye level and stares him down.
“Excuse me, but I do believe class is in session.” Discord said, disgruntled, and simply wanting to move on.
Snips just furrows his eyebrows, starts to yell, and points at Discord. “This is your fault! You’re the reason Anon is going away!”
“What?! Me?!” Discord says, shocked, bringing a paw to his chest. “I don’t actually think he should go there! Or maybe I do? Who knows, depends on the potential of fun at this point. Anyhoo, who are you to challenge I? I am the lord of all things chaos and current teacher for the day. I am Discord! And I will have respect from ALL my students, capiche?”
“Then make me Anon’s partner, now!” Snips demanded.
“How dare you… Hmmm.” For a moment, Discord stopped to consider it, his eyes slowly trailing towards you as he gave you a wicked smile.
Oh hell no! “You better not! I swear, it’s over between us if that happens! Why is this even a thing, why doesn’t he become Snail’s agent or something?! That’s a thing, isn’t it?”
“Oh… Wait, that’s a good idea!” Snips said, as if a light bulb went off in his head. While still hanging upside down, he placed a hoof on Discord and pushes to spin himself so he’s facing Snails, who was sitting in the back of the class. “Hey Snails, you don’t mind, do ya, pal?”
Snails just shrugs, and gives him a goofy smile. “Ok”
“Well, what a boring outcome that was.” Discord said with an eye roll as he lets go of Snips, letting him drop to the floor with a thud. He crawls back to his seat as Discord snaps his talons, producing a blackboard. “In any case. Today’s le-” But once again, Discord is interrupted, this time by Applebloom.
“Now ya hold on, Discord. Where is Miss Cheerilee anyway? Ya better not have done anything bad to her, or else we ain’t your friend no more either.” Applebloom said, the other CMC joining in with a nod.
“Are you accusing me of sending her into a horrid dimension, full of beasts and monsters who could tear apart a pony in seconds, a place in which escape is impossible? Surely you’re not suggesting that.” Discord said as he leaned into the blackboard, crossing his arms as he looked to the CMC with an aggravated glare.
“What?!” Sweetie Belle yelled out. “Is that where you sent her?! What kind of monster are you?!”
“A mish mash of many things, thank you for asking.” Discord said with a chuckle.
“Discord, we’re serious! We’ll go get Twilight if that is where you seriously sent Miss Cheerilee! We’ll get Twilight and Fluttershy, you hear me!” Scootaloo said as she stood up on her hindlegs and slammed for hooves onto her desk. She was willing to give him a chance, but that was way too far.
“Ugh, this is why I asked if you were accusing me of it. I actually sent her to an island paradise. Has coconuts, shade, sun, and of course, the beach! Shame on you three for accusing me of something so horrid. I think she deserves the vacation I gave her, if only for the one day she’ll get it. Look!” Discord spins the blackboard to reveal a window. He opens it to reveal Cheerilee, who was on a beach, running for her dear life from islander ponies throwing spears at her. “There see? Look at how… Oh…” Discord looks back at the class, in which now all of them, even Diamond, was giving him a stink eye. “Oh don’t look at me like that. This was merely an accident, I actually meant to send her here.” Discord snaps again, and Cheerilee finds herself being instantly transported to what looked like an actual beach resort. Too bad she was sent right on top of a high dive plank, mid frantic run, as she found herself screaming, plummeting down into a pool. Discord closes the window and flips the blackboard back to its original form. “There, are you all happy now? That is a five star resort. If you don’t think she deserves that then you are truly an ungrateful bunch.”
Diamond, it seemed, didn’t like the way Discord was acting. She stepped off from her seat, and walked right up to him, looking at him with a scowl. “You know, you’re not being very nice right now.”
Finally, you would have stood up to Discord, but you were still trying to regain your composure from Snips squeeze attack.
“You should at least make sure that Miss Cheerilee has all she needs for her vacation from Barnyard Bargains. Making sure you also leave bits equal to what you take, and putting it in the register.” Diamond says with a wink.
Gyah! What in the?!
Discord just chuckles and snaps his talons. “Done. Now, please take your seat, Diamond. Today’s lesson will be something I’m sure you’ll be interested in.”
“Ok! And thank you for your business, ahrm, Discord.” Diamond keeps things formal as she does a curtsy, and returns to her seat. She then shoots you a smile, and winks. God, you just put your face down on your desk. You couldn’t believe he was getting away with this. So embarrassing, so goddamn embarrassing, how can this get any worse?
“What is the lesson? You haven’t even told us yet.” Scootaloo asked, still skeptical of Cheerilee’s safety, but feeling that if Discord is true to his word, then she might actually be having a good time.
“Chaos, of course.” Discord says as he has a piece of chalk with bat wings write that very word onto the blackboard, with the word ‘magic’ added to it. “Or to be exact, chaos magic. I thought, given we have fans and friends of my boy here, that it’d be very interesting to learn how chaos magic works, affects the typical creature not well versed in chaos, and even some of the nuances of Anon’s horn. Now, before the unicorns in the class get all too excited, this isn’t a lesson on how to actually use it or how it is performed. Such things are reserved for masters such as myself… And only myself. I trust there are at least a few here interested in this lesson? I think it’d be a chance of a lifetime to learn something as amazing and mysterious as chaos magic. Wouldn’t you agree? Random student I am now pointing at.” Discord said as he pointed to a clone of himself, sitting on a randomly produced desk, with a little propeller cap on his head.
“Oh yes! I think that would be amazing, Mr. Discord! Please, show us!” The clone excitingly replied.
“Actually, that does sound rather spiffy. I’d love a chance to learn about it myself. I think, after witnessing Anon’s amazing feats, that learning how chaos magic can be used for good would be a great lesson indeed.” Replied Pip, already ready to take notes on the subject.
“It’s not going to hurt, is it?” Said Twist, who seemed a little fearful of Discord’s presence.
“No, I don’t think Discord would go THAT far. As for the lesson, well, I have been learning more about magic myself, I think it might actually be neat to learn a little chaos stuff.” Sweetie says, curious as to see what Discord had planned. “As long as he isn’t going to pull a trick on us or anything.”
Holy crap, everyone was just falling into it hook, line, and sinker. Then again, getting a refresher on chaos magic may not be too bad. It's not like... Wait, he also said how your horn works, didn’t he? Oh holy shit! This petty little fuck! He literally took over the entire class and pulled off this entire charade because he wants a chance to explain that STUPID power up or whatever with the horn! That was it, wasn’t it!? This was all fluff so he could finally sit you down and explain it to you! You rise up from your seat and point directly at Discord, pissed, and not willing to take that shit. “Really?! This is all over that thing, isn’t it?! I told you before, I don’t need it, and I don’t want your stupid explanation! You're just a freaking jerk!”
Discord suddenly began to slowly crack, literally, even his glasses broke as he seemed to feel a sting in his heart. “Ngh, Anon. I-I see. I-I….I suppose I had overstepped myself. Not asking your teacher to teach, barging in without asking, creating a lesson that would not go over well with many a pony. I can see why you’re upset with me, your father.” Discord sniffed as he began to cry. He looked upon the rest of the class, as he did a pathetic little bow. “I apologize, fillies and gentlecolts, for my intrusion. I shouldn’t have done what I did. Please, enjoy your advanced math lessons your teacher had planned for the day. I shall just snap my talons and-” But Discord is interrupted by nearly every foal in the room. All of them crying out for him to stay, that he’s fun, and that they want to learn about chaos magic. Obviously, none of them wanted to do math if they could just see something cool like chaos magic.
Diamond just slowly peered over to you. Her tone of a domineering sort. “Anon, what gives? Why are you being so mean to your father all of a sudden? I hope you wouldn’t treat me like that, so you better apologize to him right now or I won’t talk to you ever again.”
WHAT?! “Diamond!” You whisper loudly to her “Are you serious?! It’s not even about the lesson, it’s just… Diamond, agh, c’mon…” But she wasn’t listening, she just looked away with a ‘Hmph’, refusing to even look you in the eye. In fact, as you looked around, other classmates were kind of looking at you as if you did something bad or something. One even speaking up, asking you why you, the hero colt, would say something so mean. U-ugh, agh… You then look to Discord. Oh yeah, behind those tears, he was laughing hard, that asshole. “S-sorry, Dad, I was just. I dunno, you know...ngh.”
“Indeed, I do know. Forgive him, my students, he’s just been having a rough couple of days.” Discord said as he suddenly fixed himself, everything about himself reverting to his usual jovial self. “Now then, let us begin the lesson!”
“Now then, class, we shall now begin the lesson. There is a lot to learn about chaos magic, but since we only have one day, we will only go through the basics and some interesting tidbits. First and foremost, however, I want to highlight the durability of chaotic objects created by chaos magic.” Discord said as he paced left and right in front of the class. He then stopped, conjured a cane, and pointed directly at your shackles. “And the bands on Anon’s legs will be used in this experiment. Those terrible, ugly, rusty looking shackles.”
W-what?! Why did he have to call attention to them?! Well, wait, why does that worry you? Nobody knows why you’re wearing them, and nobody even seemed to have noticed that you were. That was kind of strange actually…
“Oooooh, so that’s why Anon are wearing those things? Ok, whew” Diamond said, wiping her forehead in relief. “I almost thought that he just… Ahrm, acquired some kind of weird taste in fashion sense.”
“Oh, I just thought nopony was saying anything because Anon looks like a straight up ugly, dastardly, escaped villain. Gutter trash and... EEP!” Snips falls back on his chair when not only you, but Diamond, look back at him with deathly stares. Like, the combined power of the glares he was receiving may have been enough to surpass even Fluttershy’s patented ‘Stare’. “I didn’t mean that! I-I mean, Anon always looks good, always! I swear, please don’t hurt me!” Snips said as he cowered in his seat.
“Hmph, that’s what I thought.” Diamond said with a nod before looking back at Discord. “Oh, erm… I-” But Discord interrupts her with a head pat, giving her a gentle smile. It was clear Diamond just felt bad about interrupting Discord’s lesson and wasting his limited time. But in truth, Discord didn’t mind after seeing that.
“No need to fret. You merely did what you had to do to correct his opinion. Isn’t that right, Anon?” Discord said as he began to twist one of his talons with his paw.
“Yeah.” You give a big grin towards Diamond, earning her adorable blushy little smile. Hell, you were like a couple right there, fuck Snips for insulting your… Well, these are actually pretty ugly looking on you. But whatever, fuck him! “I mean, you did what I would have done if anypony insulted the way you look, which is super cute by the way!”
Diamond hid her face, feeling so adorably embarrassed. Of course, a few classmates gagged at the very thought of this, earning Diamond’s rage again as she looked back and yelled out. “Hey! Who said that?! Don’t make me go over there!”
You just giggle lightly at that. Discord? He just raises his paw and calls to Diamond. “Alright, alright, that’s enough. I am on a limited time frame, you know? Ok? Ok, good. Now then, Anon, please raise your forelegs and place them on your desk. “
“Alright, no problem.” You nod as you do as your told. “So, what, you’re gonna try to bash them with a hammer or something?”
“Close.” Discord said as he reached behind his head and pulled a hockey mask down on his face. He then opened a small dimensional hole, causing the entire class to become an eerie red color, and reached in to pull out a giant fucking chainsaw, already revved up. With the entire class already in a panic, he holds the spinning blades of the chainsaw over your legs, and prepared to bring it down. “Hold still, Anon, or you’ll have more than a splitting headache.”
“EEEK! HE’S GONNA SLICE HIM IN HALF! HE’S GONNA SLICE EVERYPONY TO PIECES!” Silver screamed out as the entire class began to try to leave the classroom. Everyone but you and Diamond.
Diamond just looked on, curious, unafraid. “Those shackles are stronger than that thing? Are you sure?” Diamond then looked to you, to try to figure out how you felt about this. “Anon, you’re not scared, are you?”
“Nah, it’ll be ok.” If you’re correct, ‘legally binding’ in chaos sense should mean nothing can break these shackles, both literally and figuratively. You should be fine as long as Discord… OH GOD! OOOHHH GOD! HE JUST CAME DOWN WITH THE CHAINSAW AND SEVERED YOUR LEGS FROM YOUR BODY, AS IN, RIGHT NEAR THE BASE! “GYAAAH! HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! GYAAH! WHAT DID YOU- AHHHHHH!” You fell over and started flailing on the ground, screaming, trying to get up. Holy shit! He really did it! He really sliced them off!
Diamond already panics, not expecting something like that at all, and looks to Discord, frantic, trying to figure out why he even did that. “Why?! Why did you do that to Anon?! How could you?!”
“Hm?” Discord lifted his hockey mask and looked to the ground. He could see you on the ground, screaming. He then looked to Diamond and shrugged. “What? It couldn’t possibly hurt that bad, there isn’t even a hint of fluid flying around the room. A lot of screaming from Anon and his peanut gallery though.”
“Fix it now, Discord! Or I’m telling Fluttershy!” Diamond said, slamming her hoof down. “You went too far! You really hurt Anon! Fix him! Fix him or else!”
“Fine, if you insist.” Discord said as he tosses the chainsaw a few inches away. The blades land right on the shackles of your severed legs and immediately twist and shatter, the chainsaw sputtering and stopping dead as it was unable to even dent them. Discord picks up your screaming form, spins you about as if you were a jigsaw piece, and easily sits you down back on your desk, sliding you forward enough to reattach your legs back to your body. “There see? No harm done. Well, except for my chainsaw, poor thing never stood a chance.”
“Geez!” Dammit, you thought you were ready for that one! But you weren’t expecting to actually see your legs sliced off, even if it was all for a freaking gag. “Ok, ok… They work, I can move them. Dad!” You look over to Discord, tap at your forehead, and then point at him. “Do you think you could have at least WARNED me?! You scared everypony to near death!”
“I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Anon. If you were going to do that, then you should have done it to somepony else.” Diamond said with a dominant nod.
“Somepony else?!” Silver rushes over to Diamond, appalled that she’d even suggest such a thing. “Why is it ok to do that kind of thing at all?!”
“Ok, come on, Silver. Nopony was really going to get hurt, r-right?” Diamond did realize that she had felt a bout of doubt when she saw you panicking. But now that everything was ok, it began to become very clear to her that Discord truly meant no harm.
“Of course not! I’m one of the most responsible chaos spirits you’ll ever meet.” Discord said as he leaned down towards Silver with a toothy grin.
“You’re the ONLY chaos spirit we even know about! You could totally, like, mean that you’re also the least responsible chaos spirit ever!” Silver retorts angrily, already reaching her tolerance of his shenanigans.
“Yes, but that means it can be either or. Besides, lesson is done. As you can see, Anon’s shackles don’t even have a mark on them. Truly chaos is amazing if it can withstand and even break such a fearsome blade.” Discord says as he grabs the broken chainsaw and tosses it behind himself. “Now, take your seats, my little ponies. I’m open to questions.”
“E-erm…” Twist cautiously takes her seat, both afraid yet interested in the fact chaos did seem pretty powerful. But the question she had in her mind, yes, that was something she needed answered for sure. “M-Mr.Discord, what about harmony? Can’t that defeat chaos?”
“Of course not! Yes, I am aware I have lost to it, and yes, I’m aware it tends to defeat every little beastie and villain that opposes Twilight and her friends. But let us think about it this way. There is only one of me, and I can steamroll Equestria without nary a resistance. Even the power of the alicorns are no match against me and my powers. And yet, everypony sees my powers as the weaker variant despite the fact it takes six ponies and a bunch of superpowered rocks to defeat one, count them, ONE draconequus. Tell me again that chaos is inferior, as I’d love to see what would happen if there were five others, five I’d dub the ‘Elements of Chaos’, that went against the Elements of Harmony.” Discord said as he adjusted his glasses, staring at Twist as if she were a lower form of being for her insulting question.
“U-umm, actually, that does kind of make sense. There is only one of you.” Twist replies sheepishly, but understanding his logic.
Christ, that actually could be a thing. Well, if you were part of those said elements of course. Sure there could be six masters of chaos that could take on Twilight and her friends, but without the human edge, they’d still get blasted.
“Well, glad to see there is some understanding and intellect around here. Now then, the introductory lesson is over. Now, we’ll learn about chaos magic itself and how scary it can be to use. Anon, my dear son, is exemplary, but not perfect in its use. Therefore he and his horn will be the perfect middle ground to what I’m about to explain.” Discord snapped his talons as the room darkened. He then held his paw up to produce a cube of black and red swirling magic as his voice took a dramatic tone. “Chaos magic. A powerful and fearsome form of magic that very VERY few can use, and even then, only about one or maybe two can even master. While all pony magic is grounded in some form of harmony, which allows them to cast spells and move objects around. Its power is only based on their limits and the reality they reside in. Chaos magic however, is a whole different beast.” Discord starts to shape the magic into various forms, from animals to objects. “You essentially hold reality in your hooves! You can summon anything, change whatever you want, alter the minds of others, warp reality to your whim, and even summon breakfast easily so you don’t need to go through the mundane task of cooking it up.” Right after Discord says that, however, Applebloom raises her hoof, causing the lights to come back on as Discord flinches so hard that an audible crunch can be heard. “Gyah, yes?! Is there a reason you’re interrupting my lesson?”
“Well, uh, ah just wanted to say that cookin’ is fun! It ain’t mundane at all. Granny Smith always says that everything you make depends on how much effort ya put into it. If you can just make things happen with a snap, then you’ll never know the fun of actually doin’ it.” Applebloom explains, not really jiving with the fact that Discord seems to just make everything happen for himself however he wants without much effort.
“Oh, I see, how very true that CAN be. But you assume I don’t know anything about that at all. I have cooked for my son, of course. And as for the kinds of tea parties I rarely but do set up for Fluttershy, I make sure everything is absolutely perfect for her in a way she never yet always and yet NEVER expects. So, Applebloom, unless you have something related to the lesson itself, I ask you to keep your mouth shut and not interrupt the ominous aura I have set up.” Discord said as he leaned forward, tapping his talons on his desk.
“E-erm, a-alright, was just sayin’ is all.” Applebloom says as she lowers her head a bit, looking down and whispering. “Didn’t have to be mean about it. Ah didn’t know.”
“Ahrm, now then…” The room darkened again, and Discord continued with his explanation. “Chaos magic, if you don’t have a mastery or a vast understanding of it, can be very fickle and quite treacherous. Even with Anon’s horn, which filters more of the adverse effects of chaos, those who actually try to use it in a more harmonious sense or without such an understanding will find the spell they cast will either not work, come out wrong, backfire, or even twist in such a way that the caster would not expect. To use chaos magic, one must understand chaos. You can’t just point at something and make it what you want, or summon something and expect it to work exactly as it should, it just doesn’t work that way.” Discord changes the magic he manifested into an orb and starts to bounce it around on his ‘knees’. “Many can say that chaos magic seems to work exactly as I intend it to, because it does in the sense that I know exactly how to control it and I myself am a being of chaos, meaning I needn’t worry about the usual ill effects I will soon explain. Everypony must also know that if I use my magic to make things EXACTLY as it should, it will work as well, but could have consequences on my very body and soul. Not something I like to admit, but too much order in my own castings can cause ill effects for myself. Which then brings me to what should happen if chaos magic is ill used and mismanaged. As I said, when I use chaos magic incorrectly, it will cause terrible consequences. Namely, I will become more orderly until I fade away. For ponies and other beings, even those you might consider evil, they are still part of some sort of harmony, and therefore must cast chaos magic in a way one would not expect. Let us say one of you were to cast chaos magic through Anon’s horn… Oh wait.” Discord snaps his talons as the light comes on. “I think we could do for a live demonstration. Who here would like to try Ano-” But before Discord can even finish, Scootaloo’s hoof rises in the air. “Oh, that’s interesting. Do you really wish to try, Scootaloo?” Discord asked.
“Yeah! I’ve been around Anon enough, I think I can handle it!” Scootaloo says, her excitement mounting at the chance to give it a shot. “I’ve been wanting to try it, at least once. And I’m sure I can do it! I just know it!”
Huh, well, it’s not like you don’t know Scootaloo. As in, you could trust her to use the horn once if it’s in front of you and Discord. Could be interesting depending on what she casts. Anything major, hopefully, Discord will deal with. “I mean, sure, I got no problem with it. I already know this lesson. Basically, Scoots, if you don’t know enough about chaos, then your spell is gonna be all weird, alright?” You tell her as you remove your necklace and toss the horn towards Scootaloo.
But right when Scootaloo was about to catch it, Snips, out of nowhere, catches the horn as it merges with his own. “Hahahaha! Yes! Now I’m the hero colt!”
“Snips! What are you doing?!” Scootaloo called out.
“What?! You can’t have my Anon’s horn, you give that back right now!” Diamond growls as she hops off her seat to approach him.
Ah shit! He already looked like he was about to cast something! You grab Diamond and hold her back as the rest of the class began to back off. “Diamond, wait! Hold on! Don’t get near him!”
“But he stole your horn!” Diamond cried out to you. “We can’t just let him have it!”
“I know! I know that! But trust me, ok? Remember the lesson?” You move in and whisper to her. “Just watch.”
Diamond, although confused, gives it a small moment of thought, nods, and joins you at your side as you just watch. Scootaloo was going to try to take it as well, but Sweetie and Applebloom were already holding her back as Snips began to float upwards.
Snails just casually got up from his seat and walked over to Snips, just staring at him. “Uh, Snips, did you know you’re floating?”
“I do! That’s because I’m going to cast the best spell ever! Just watch!” Snips calls out.
“What’s that?” Snails asks.
“What else? I’m going to make myself a true hero! With a sword, and armor, and super strength, and everything! I’ve been following Anon’s exploits too, so I know I can do it! Now watch, because here it cooooommmeeesss!” And so Snips cast his spell. In a flash of light, various items that smelled like food began to slam right into him, before two long pieces of bread came upon him. After the spell was over and the light faded, it was revealed that he more or less made himself a hero ‘Colt’ sandwich. “Ahhhh! WHAT HAPPENED! WHY IS EVERYTHING DARK AND SMELLY! WHY DO I TASTE CHEESE?!”
Immediately, most of the class began to laugh as Discord walked up and squeezed the sandwich tightly enough to send Snips slipping along the floor. “A sandwich, for me? You shouldn’t have. Almost perfect, but I always find myself having to pluck one or two things off.” Discord said as he starts to bite into the sandwich before breaking his teeth on something. “Ah, almost forgot about this.” Discord said as he opened the sandwich again, pulled out the horn, which seemed to have gotten stuck inside, and held it towards Scootaloo as his teeth popped out of the roof and bottom of his mouth. “So, still want to give it a try?”
“Um… No, that’s ok.” Scootaloo said with a gulp as she declined the horn. Despite what Discord had said, she felt she still had a chance to cast the spell she had in mind successfully. But after witnessing the utter failure of Snips, she suddenly felt that just wishing for a scooter that can move super fast might be a bad idea. Also, he had his mouth on it. “I-I get it. I just now realize I can’t really… Erm.” Or more, she didn’t want her ‘spell’ to make her scooter chaotically fast in a way that she might blast herself off to the moon. “Use it. At least not yet.”
“I see. Diamond, you’re practically family, would you like a go?” Discord said as he held the horn towards her.
“I’d like to, I realllly would. But I understand that what I would want to use it for might warp Anon’s mind, and I don’t want that at all. Besides, anything else that I may want can still be mine. I'm totally rich, after all.” Diamond said as she stood there proudly.
Wait, mind warp? Wut?! “U-uhh, what do you mean by mind warp, Diamond?”
“Oh, y’know. I kind of wanted to make a place to try the horizontal waltz! But a waltz has a lot of harmony that goes into it. So, I figured it might do something to your mind to get it to work. And I never ever want something like that to happen.” Diamond explains.
Discord just chuckles as he tosses the horn back to you “Indeed, none of us want that to happen, now do we, Anon?”
GUH! GOD NO! GOOD FUCKING GOD! THAT’D BE A SEX SPELL! WHAT HORRIBLE OUTCOME WOULD THERE BE IF SHE TRIED TO CAST THAT! “Y-yeah, erm, right. Aha! Um, so… Y’know, yeah. There’s uh, more lesson to listen to, right? L-let’s get back to it. Erm, I mean, there’s still the stuff about mutations and stuff, right?”
“Ah, very right, Anon, very right. Hm, hey you!” Discord magically grabs the near unconscious Snips and plants him back on his seat. “You may want to pay attention to this part. Or don’t, could be funnier that way. Annnnyyywayyyy, Anon is correct. Chaos magic, aside from needing a vast understanding of it to cast properly, also has unforeseen effects on the body, different from what happens to me when I cast it in an orderly fashion. Namely, if one is to take on too much chaos or chaos magic, they will find their bodies transforming at a rapid rate, near instantaneous really. With this also comes various states of madness, depending on your way of thinking. Now, you needn’t worry, as it is a temporary change. Now what’s that you say? That I’m capable of changing everything upon my own whim? Well, yes, I can, just like how very powerful ponies can turn beings like me to stone, one’s will can also have an effect on chaotic transformation. Now, there is a side note. If one was to take chaos in for too long, and allow themselves to succumb to their madness, then the transformation can very well become permanent… Mostly… Even that can be rather fickle. Now I bet you’re all asking yourselves about the fact that Anon has not transformed at all despite all his exposure to chaos. Well, thanks to Anon’s understanding of chaos along with a natural resistance to chaotic elements, Anon really needn’t worry about the transformative effects of chaos unless used directly on him. And even then, unless the spell is kept in check, then he is capable of changing back and recovering from chaotic spells much faster than the average pony. However, sadly, Anon has come to take on harmonic elements a little too much to my liking, which can sometimes lead him to grave danger when it comes to his hero work as his horn depends on his chaotic whims. Because of that, I thought it would only be right to give his horn one extra upgrade…”
Oh boy, here we go, the explanation on that BIIIIIG upgrade.
“Now, its true the horn also filters a lot of the ‘negative’ effects of chaos magic. Not completely, mind you, but enough, as evidenced by our rude little unicorn colt not changing outright.” Discord said as he leered over at Snips.
“I’m sorry! Ok?! I didn’t know it’d be that tough! I swear!” Snips yelled out as he groveled at his seat. “I really am sorry!”
“I bet… Anyway” Discord said with a shrug. “Some could still succumb to very mild changes to body and psyche with overexposure to having the horn on your head. Something Anon, you can say, is utterly immune to. However, as mentioned, Anon’s recent harmonic elements, such as fearing for others, using logic when he shouldn’t be, and other such things, has and will lead him to situations where not using the horn to its greatest potential could lead to his defeat. Therefore, when the powers that be senses Anon might be on his last legs, the filter then becomes a mass concentration of chaos so strong that it can affect some of Anon’s body and a lot of his mind, allowing him the clear thinking he needs to bring the chaotic finishing blows on his foes. What does that mean to you all? Nothing really, I just felt an explanation on that part was in order. Chaos magic is a great power, that requires reckless responsibility to wield. It’s why Anon is truly the only one who can wield it, he truly does mostly have that understanding on how things work. But even then, he still needs that push.”
“Ok, look. I get it.” Really, you did. Basically, as you truly understand it now, it’s a transformative power up that makes you more crazy and reckless, allowing you to use chaos to it’s true potential. “And I’ve used that ‘upgrade’ before. But let me ask you this, Dad. What if the horn activated that power while I was in Ponyville? Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Yes, and?” Discord said with a shrug.
“Doesn’t Aunt Fluttershy live in Ponyville?” You really didn’t need this upgrade, even if it let you slap the Storm Ravager. You always did well on your own, and you know you could have decimated him without that upgrade. Then again, it wasn’t just him. It also activated on Garble, though the effect wasn’t as strong. It seems the bigger the threat, the more it feeds madness into your mind. But you already had days to think about it, and it is an upgrade you can do without. You had this, really! How were you supposed to even fully master chaos with that kind of handicap anyway?
“Huh, she does, doesn’t she? Hmm…” Discord said as he turned away from the class. “But I can tell you just don’t want to deal with this wonderful gift I have given you, despite how useful it has been. I get it, not everything I do is wanted or truly useful. I can remove this effect with a snap, and I will. But know this, Anon. Should you find yourself in a situation where you need it, you will have to call upon it yourself, manually. Also, if you do that, I expect an apology party for doubting its usefulness.” Discord said as he snapped his talons, despite the effect of it not being so obvious.
“Sure, whatever, I get ya. But if I go a long time without ever needing it, I expect at least a third, or even a fourth charge on this thing, got it?” Oh baby, you could already tell he was in one of his subtle competitive moods, something you’d take advantage of right now.
“Hm, you prove me wrong this time and I’ll grant you unlimited magic forever. Yes, I suppose you’d deserve that much if you can show you truly have enough mastery to not need my gift.” Discord said as he leaned in, staring at you, smirking. “Of course, if you fail and need it, then I expect a ten thousand word apology to go along with that party. Understood?”
Heh, no sweat. No villain has shown up since the Storm Ravager, and he’s probably dead, so no problems there. “Understood. Just don’t go back on it when I win.”
“Same for you, Anon, same for you. Let’s see… Ah yes, I’m supposed to be teaching. “ Discord said as he walked back and snapped his tail, producing a book. He starts to thumb through it until he reached the page he wanted to stop at. “Ah, here we are. Yes, grand demonstrations as a teaching tool, how marvelous. Tell me, class, how do you think, I, your amazing teacher, should demonstrate a showing of true chaotic power, hm?”
Another student, Featherweight, raises his hoof, and is then called on by Discord. “Well, I have been wanting to get amazing pictures of both you and Anon. Erm, what if you two had a big battle? I could get a lot of amazing shots then.”
“Oh my, that sounds amazing! I-I mean, as long as nopony is hurt. I think it would be a once in a lifetime chance to see Anon and his father have at each other. Erm, again, with none of them getting hurt.” Pip said. He wanted to see a really cool fight, but he was at odds with the fact that either Discord or you could be hurt.
“...Now that is an idea I have never considered before. Eh, but it wouldn’t be much of a fight. Anon stands no chance against the likes of me. He’d need thousands of years of experience before he even came close.” Discord said as he scoffed at the idea, dismissing it as a folly. But the class itself whispers about actually wanting to witness such a spectacle.
“What?! Hey, come on. I’m better than that.” Your ears fold a little as disappointment mounts. How could he say that?! You weren’t like before, you had more than enough skill to at least match him. You were only really limited due to the charges you were allowed per day.
“Actually, erm, Anon.” Diamond looks to you with a frown, and shakes her head. “I don’t know. Discord is really really powerful. And from what I remember, the horn’s power basically comes from him anyway. I-I don’t mean to say that to put you down, but I know how you are when it comes to challenges. I don’t think you should even consider fighting your father.”
“Yes, listen to her, Anon.” Discord said as he arrogantly began to blow and examine the claws on his paws. “True, you are pretty good. But as I said, you are many moons and millenniums behind me in actual skill. I must say though, I am curious, now that it was mentioned, to see how you stack up. But for the sake of Diamond, I think I should just call it here and bring back Cheerilee so she can get started on those math lessons. What do you think, class, are you ready to learn some numbers!”
The class was like putty in Discord’s mismatched hands. They didn’t want to learn boring math when they can witness a climactic battle of chaos. The Hero Colt versus the Lord of Chaos! What a fight that would be. They began to cheer you on, to get you to accept. Diamond however, she was getting annoyed by it all. She slams her hooves down as hard as she can to gain the attention of the class, and then stares them all down as she begins to speak. “I will not allow this to happen! Are you all crazy! Anon and Discord are both super amazing, but it is so not cool to have them fight each other!” Diamond then looks to the both of you. “And you both shouldn’t even consider it! Like, seriously, no!”
B-but, you knew you had a chance, you have the power! Both you and Discord just look at her and ask “Why?”
“Because! Whoever loses won’t be able to live it down for awhile, especially if it’s Discord! Either way, all this will end up doing is making you both really really sour at each other for a long time. And I care about you both enough that I don’t want to see it happen at all, do you hear me? Just, no!” Diamond said, demanding that you both bend to her will on this.
“First of all, that’s not true. Second of all, I won’t lose. Really, Diamond, you’re overreacting. The rest of the class wants to see this, and it’ll be a good way for me to really see how far along Anon has come. Even you must agree that the thought of Anon fouling up in some future fight due to not being ready is a worrying thought, no?” Discord said, already trying to manipulate even her. He was too curious now, he wanted this to happen, he wanted to see what you could do. Both as a mentor and as an asshole.
You? Well, Diamond did have a point. Beating Discord would make him super salty. You could handle a loss, of course. It’s no big deal. Besides, you want to show Discord, personally, how far you have come. You have to admit, a lot of your skill and understanding of some of the nuances of chaos has come from him, with the rest of what you know coming from your own training, resolve, and love of cartoony antics. If Discord was willing to give it a shot, then you’d oblige him. “Yeah, it won’t be like that Diamond. Me and Dad are total bros. This would just be a friendly exhibition match. Besides, I have been wanting to really put my skills to the test. And I think everypony deserves a good show before I leave school. And that goes for you too, I want to show you all my skills.”
“Ngh, but Anon, what if something does go wrong?” Diamond was still uncomfortable about it, of course. Time for some slick moves.
You get out of your seat and walk up to her, looking deep into her eyes and giving her a kiss on the nose. “If something goes wrong then that’s just how chaos works. It’ll be ok, promise. Me and Dad know how things work, all you gotta do is watch and root for me.”
“But what if you lose? You have to promise me you won’t get mad at your father if you lose. Promise?” Diamond asked, really wanting your word on this one.
“Promise.” You tell her with a nod.
“Before you even ask me, I promise as well. I don’t wish to cause an upset with anypony, really I don’t. Well, I do, just not with any of you. Bah, you know what I mean.” Discord said as he detached his body parts to give them a stretch. “If it bothers you that much… Win or lose, I will be a sport about it. Anon is my pal, my chaos buddy, and my son. Hmm…” Something right then clicked within Discord. Did he really want to flaunt his skill too much? No, he began to feel that same hint of worry as to what made him modify the horn in the first place. He wanted to know that you could truly hold your own. What better way to see how far you truly come than this fight? He could see for himself if you could do without the upgrade. “Yes, I can do that, for sure. How about you, Anon? I know it is unlike me to suddenly be this agreeable, but I think the students here deserve a show and a display of good will.”
Discord’s look, it suddenly changed. You knew that change, something hit him, a heel turn. Ugh, goddammit Anon, you’ve been an ass again, haven’t you? It’s hard, people have personalities! Ugh, but to just go too far and be selfish and whiny… Eh, dammit. Ok, ok, you can do this. If you were right, then it seemed Discord may want this to be more of a show than a fight. If you were right, you’d treat it as such too. Anon, come on, win or lose, it’s just a spar. Get off your high horse, and just have some fun with it. You need it, you need to de-stress about Chrysalis. You had friends and family too, you know? Best not to ruin that. “Right, you’re totally right about that, Dad. Alright, I’ll give it a go. But for this fight, I’d like to be known as the ‘Prince of Chaos’, that ok with you?”
“Anon, I wouldn’t have it any other way. That is a title worthy of my son. Alright then. Diamond, are you alright? Will you allow us to do this?” Discord said, awaiting her words.
“Well, you both did promise. And I’m kinda with the class, I think it’d be really neat to see you both fight. Ok, you have my permission!” Diamond said, her worry soon changing to excitement, feeling she could trust the both of you on this.
“Woah, this is going to be soooo cool!” Scootaloo let out. The class joining her in her cheers.
“Oh boy. Er, Discord, ya think we can do this in one of yer pocket dimension thingys? Ah don’t think Ponyville can handle a battle between y'all.” Applebloom suggested. She too was actually curious about the fight, but she’d rather not see her home obliterated by chaotic madness.
"Indeed I can, in a place most fitting for this fight." Discord said as he raised his talons for a snap. "It's showtime!"
The pocket dimension of choice was, well, it was obvious Discord was looking into your own thoughts on this one as the entire dimension itself was that budokai tournament arena from Dragon Ball. Except all the dragons, were of course, of Discord. The audience seats were mostly empty sans the class sitting in a cluster on the southern middle side. The announcer, another Discord clone, was busy brushing his luscious golden locks to stand straight up. Discord himself was resting on one corner of the arena, reading a newspaper as he took to some tea.
You sat on the other corner, both Scootaloo and Diamond at your side as Discord felt you needed some ‘personal trainers’ to pep you up and be able to throw in the towel should things get too intense. They were even in grey sweaters with cute little grey beanies. As for you, you felt confident in your chaotic abilities, you also felt you could go further with it than Discord could if you really needed to. Add in his arrogance and you may just have this in the bag.
“Man, Discord really went all out with this one. Looks like a real arena you’d see in comics.” Scootaloo said as she took a look around.
“Focus, Scootaloo! Like, this is Anon’s big chance to show everypony just how skilled at chaos he really is. Daddy Discord isn’t going to be a pushover, so we have to make sure Anon is ready!” Diamond said, scolding Scootaloo as she was obviously not taking this seriously.
“Relax, Diamond, it’s not that serious. I have a ton of tricks up my sleeves and I have loads of practice. It’ll be fine.” You say as you slide a hoof along a shackle. If anything, you even have armor that may actually defend against any direct attacks Discord might have.
“Sounds good to me. I’ve never even seen Discord fight anyway. I mean, how tough can he be? He pretty much just stood there when Rainbow Dash and everypony else hit him with the elements. And don’t forget, even Tirek managed to beat him. Anon has this in the bag, for sure.” Scootaloo said with confidence.
Diamond just brought a hoof to her face, growled, and then looked to the both of you. “That’s because he got blindsided. Scootaloo, I don’t expect you to know, but I totally expect Anon to know that! And besides, did anypony notice Daddy Discord doesn’t even really fight, like, at all? Every time he’s ever done something big, it was always something psychological. He’s great at mind tricks. Anon, you’ll have to make sure he doesn’t fake you out.”
That was true. While Discord has done slapstick, especially on you, his big plans usually involve messing with the psyche of his targets in some way. That’s what he did in his premiere, and that’s pretty much what he tried to do against Fluttershy on his second showing. Hell, even messing with both Twilight and Cadance for some petty bullshit that one time. But you weren’t a simple pony, and you knew Discord pretty well, you knew you could see through his tricks. “He won’t. I understand how he works, and I’m not that easy to fool. Even Princess Luna’s dream walking stuff makes me so aware that I’m lucid the moment it becomes too obvious. So any illusion Dad has is nothing to me”
“Really? How?” Scootaloo asked, rather curious about the Luna thing. “I can’t think of anypony who’s ever managed to notice Luna's magic unless she’s being super direct.”
“I… Don’t know really. I have trouble with lucidity on my own, yet I just notice when she’s around. Could just be my whole chaos au-” But before you can finish that sentence, Diamond shakes her hoof in front of the both of you.
“Hey! Hey! Focus, remember?! Besides, you both forgot something super important!” Diamond said.
“What’s that?” Both you and Scootaloo ask.
“That he HAS beaten the princesses in a straight up fight! He totally steamrolled them until they used the elements on him! Hasn’t anypony noticed that if he’s paying attention then he’s pretty much unstoppable? Anon, I know you’re using the same magic as him, But Daddy Discord might actually put in the effort to fight. None of us have any idea what to expect. With that in mind, Anon has to fight as defensively as he does offensively. No doubt Daddy Discord has a bazillion tricks he can pull too, so you’ll have to be totally careful. Got it, Anon?” Diamond said as she gave you a serious look “Because I will not be happy if he takes you down in less than a minute. And if I’m not happy, then you’re not happy. Got it? If you lose after a minute, then I’ll understand. But if it’s just under a minute, then I’ll know you didn’t listen to me at all. And I’m going to tell you right now, Anon, if that happens, I won’t talk to you for a whole month!”
Woah, that’s pretty heavy. Then again, she had a really good point. Discord was pretty much untouchable in an actual confrontation. Everytime he made a mistake and got physically beat was because he underestimated his opponent or something unexpected happened. But the princesses aren’t that special, at least, not from what you’ve seen. Even with all the power Twilight has amassed magic wise, she still can’t do anything to Discord physically as well. Hm, it seemed you would need to actually be cautious of Discord. Every time he’s gotten you before, it was because you were vulnerable. If you can make sure to keep on your toes, er, hooves, then you should be able to keep up with him. “Point taken, Diamond. I promise I’ll be careful.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea too. I think Discord might actually be serious about this fight after all.” Scootaloo said with a gulp.
“What makes you say that?” You ask as you look back at her.
“That’s why” Scootaloo said, pointing back at Discord.
Discord was still relaxing, sipping tea, and laying back as a pair of boxing gloves hovers overhead. These gloves were busy punching and smashing a punching bag with your face on it, it was even screaming for dear life!
Diamond looked on for a moment, cringing, before looking back at you, determined to give you some motivation. “Oooohh, yeah he does. Well, erm, that’s why you, Anon, have to be super vigilant. I know he’s your father, but you’re still the best! In fact, you’re my prince!” Diamond said as she moved in for a smooch on your cheek. “My prince of chaos!”
Oof, those gloves were giving that bag a good pounding. But Diamond was right! You are the prince! If Discord wants to take this seriously as he looks like he is, then so shall you. Oh, and with that kind of pep talk, you’d have to make sure that kiss was well earned. “Yeah! No problem! Don’t worry, Diamond, I’m gonna smash that guy to bits!”
“Er, I mean, just regular smashing should work? He’s still your dad, Anon” Scootaloo reminds you.
“Yeah, but something tells me he can take it. Looks like he’s expecting me to handle it the same way too. So, y’know…” And with that, the announcer clone, donning some sunglasses, steps into the middle of the arena and waves for you both to come to the center. Discord whisks away his tea, gloves, and ‘you’ shaped punching bag and lazily strides to the center as he waves to the class. Of course, it wasn’t until the wave of your hoof that any real vibrant cheering could be heard. “Ah! Time for me to get up on the ring! Wish me luck, girls!”
“Good luck!” Scootaloo cheered. “And show em’ you’re as good at chaos as he is!”
“You can do it, Anon! But don’t win too hard, ok? I care about Daddy Discord too!” Diamond said as she called to you “And don’t forget to do some stylish poses! Show everypony why you’re my Anon!”
Heh, you were prepared to be stylish this whole fucking fight. You casually walk over to the center, and look up to Discord as the announcer began to speak into a microphone. “Welcome fillies and gentlecolts to the first annual ‘Chaotic Neko’ tournament! Don’t ask what a neko is, I do not care. But what I do care about is the battle that is about to take place in this arena today! The ‘Spirit of Chaos’, Discord versus the ‘Prince of Chaos’ Anon! Both fighters poised to show off who is the best in the art of calamity! Can we get a round of applause for these two epic fighters!” The announcer waits as the class stomps their hooves happily to cheer and applause for the both of you, or given their cheers, mostly you. “Alright! Now, the battle itself will be a treacherous one! Why? Because it has no rules! Well, actually, it has one rule!”
“One rule?!” Discord looks over to the announcer, finding what he had to say truly detestable. “This is a battle of chaos! How can there be a rule?!”
“W-well, boss, y’know…” The announcer clears his throat and then points around the arena. “You did kind of pull this whole ‘anime’ thing out yourself. Not my fault you didn’t realize there’d be a rule.”
“Well, out with it then! What is the rule? Because if it’s anything waffle related, you’re fired! Do you hear me?” Discord says as he holds up a conjured championship belt. “I’m the champ, you see, and I expect the best.”
“Heh, are you serious? Discord, you seriously don’t know what’s going on? You made the arena, bro, so you should know the rule is that if you get knocked off the ring, then you lose.” You say rather smugly. Holy hell, he made a mistake. Was he off his game? Either way, a possible ring out was something to consider now. You might be able to win this easily if you can get him off the ring.
“What?!” Discord grabs the announcer by the shirt and lifts him up, looking at him with dark and foreboding eyes. “Tell me he’s kidding.”
“Er, no, he isn’t, he’s right. Instant loss if you get knocked off the arena.” The announcer said with a nervous chuckle, gulping hard at the possible rage Discord was about to explode into.
“Man, you’re taking this more seriously than I thought, Discord. What? You’re afraid I’m gonna knock you off? C’mon, relax, this is between you and me. Whatever happens happens. And seriously? I thought you’d appreciate having an extra challenge.” Seems Scootaloo was right, he really was taking this more seriously than you thought he would.
Discord’s mad stare is cut off as he chuckles and let’s go of the announcer. “Oh, Anon, it seems you misconstrued my annoyance for anger. I merely believe that extra rule is much too beneficial to me. What fun will it be to finally show you a taste of true chaos if it can end so suddenly?”
“So it’s like that, huh?” Yup, he was serious alright. “Better watch out, Discord. I have a lot of combat practice. I mean, when was the last time you even got into a serious fight? You think you can beat me without some actual practice?”
“Oh naive little Anon, so confident, so sure of his victory.” Discord said as he leisurely leaned back and rested his head on his paw. “As good of friends as we are, friendship is something I already left at the door for this battle. For you see, Anon, this isn’t just a mere fight, this will be a once in a lifetime showcase of what I can do if I actually had to use my powers to their fullest. Do you want to know why nopony ever wants to ever actually challenge me one on one? Well, you’re going to find out soon enough.” Discord said as he looked over at you, smirking.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see about that. Hey, announcer guy, mind hurrying up? I wanna get this show on the road!” Like seriously. If Discord wants to pull that shit, then it was time to get serious!
“R-right, yes. Ahrm. That’s right folks! The singular rule of this fight is that a ring out is automatic disqualification. Both our fighters will have to generate their magical mischief without setting a single hoof down on actual ground. Fighters! Get ready!” The announcer steps backwards and hops off the arena, gazing upon the both of you as he pumps his arm into the air. “Annnnnnnnnnd FIGHT!”
“Before we actually do that what we must do…” Discord extends his arm to you, and looks to you with a warm smile “Good luck, Anon.”
“Good luck to you too, Dad.” You extend your hoof to his paw, and when you do…
Both you and Discord jump back as you both leave false limbs back where you once stood, both having fuses. They explode rather quickly, both being bombs left for one another. It seems you and Discord had already thought of the same starting trick, so you’ll have to keep on your hooves if you want to outdo him.
“Amazing! Both Anon and Discord use the same traps against each other! Sneaky, devious, and yet obvious to one another! Truly these two already seem to know one another inside and out!” The announcer yells out as he strikes a pose.
“Oh boy, well…” Scootaloo folds her ears and slowly slinks lower as she peers over the edge of the arena. “This is gonna get real crazy, real fast.”
“This is going to be fun is more like it! Go, Anon, go!” Diamond cheered out.
“Oh, Anon, I’m glad you didn’t fall for that one. Then again, that is one classic trick anypony should know. Which brings me to my following question, how do you plan to beat me now, hmm?” Discord says as he stood at the ready.
“Like this!” You can’t waste time. In an instant, you produce two miniguns on either side on your back, pointed at Discord, and already whirring at full speed. “This ain’t no Loony Tunes crap, Discord. Prepare to lose!” The guns immediately began to fire endlessly and rapidly towards Discord.
“Oh my, it seems a storm is a brewin’.” Discord said as he produced and held forward a huge umbrella that blocked your bullets as if it was harmless rain.
Dammit! Fine then! “You can’t stop me, Discord! Eat this!” You produce a rocket launcher on the center of your back, with one huge rocket ready to launch. As the bullets kept Discord suppressed, you fire the rocket straight up, targeting Discord for when it drops.
“Hm?” Discord wonders to himself as he looks upwards, seeing the rocket as it turns to drop on him. “...Is he serious?” Discord reaches into his pocket and pulls out a grenade. He then tosses it over the umbrella towards you.
Before you can even react, or even notice due to the hailstorm of bullets and the flash of the muzzles of the miniguns, the grenade lands right in front of you, immediately exploding into an inflatable Discord. You don’t end your bullet assault as you gaze upon it, as it seemed harmless. “What? Is he serious? I’m not some idiot AI that’s just going to change targe… Wait.” You look upwards to see the rocket turning to drop upon the inflatable Discord near you, it seemed to think the fake Discord was the real one. “SHIT!” You immediately use your magic to pop off the miniguns from your side as you dive backwards. The rocket drops and explodes right on the inflatable Discord, and you were close enough to still be sent back near the edge of the arena. “Gyah! What in the! How?!”
“Ooohh! An impressive display by Anon! But he was no match for the ingenuity of the ‘Spirit of Chaos’ himself. It seems that brute force isn’t going to save the day this time!” The announcer yells out to the crowd, who all gasped when the rocket hit.
Discord comes walking through the smoke of the explosion, very slowly and boredly clipping his claws as he looks towards you. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. All that and no results, a shame. Well, Anon, if you’re going to go all commando on me like that, then allow me to oblige you the same tactic.” Discord suddenly produces a ton of tentacles from his back that all have nail clipper ends to them. He brings them to his paw as he holds it out towards you and starts clipping at an insane rate, firing his very nail clippings at you like a gun.
“Ah crap!” You quickly stand up and start weaving left and right before producing a shield in front of you. But these nails, holy shit, they were sharp, they were shredding through it like paper. Even worse, while Discord’s aim seemed slightly random, it seemed he was able to predict your movements as a few of his ‘bullets’ were piercing through your legs or bouncing off the shackles. Holy hell, it hurt! “Ngh! S-shit!” Fuck it! You take the shield and quickly use your magic to hurl it at Discord like a discus.
Discord immediately stops to catch the shield in his mouth, donning a dog suit as he does so. “Haha! ‘Nailed’ it! But this is fetch now, right? Well, we all know what that means.” Discord chuckles as he throws the shield down on its side. It immediately heads towards you like a buzzsaw, glowing, as it started to produce other energy shields that split off from side to side, all aimed towards you.
Damn him and his puns and tropes. Ok, Anon, they are all along the ground, right? Then all you gotta do is… “HYAH!” You jump forward like a rocket towards Discord, spinning, as you produce a sword that hovered around you like magic. This sword was a giant broadsword. Normally big and clumsy, it will be easy to wield with your magic. Hell, you thought you would have had the jump on Discord with this one. But as you bring the blade down on him, it hits something else so hard that the force sends you a few inches back. Did he block it?!
“A sword? Really? How mediocre.” Discord scoffed as he brandished his own weapon of choice, a gigantic pen. “You have no hopes to defeat me, Anon. Just give up, you can’t win.”
“The hell I can’t!” You morph the broadsword into four lightsabers and point them towards Discord, these will cut right through his flimsy ass pen. “Let’s see you de… Please no.”
Discord, as you looked back up at him, was now in all black, in an armor that made him seemed part machine. His helmet was shaped like his head, but with a face mask equipped with a breathing apparatus. His pen now glowed, matching the power of any lightsaber. “Anon, I am your father.”
Your eye twitched, was he really fucking doing this? “Fuck off, Discord. You don’t know Star Wars!”
“You have controlled your chaos. Now, release your madness! Only your insanity can defeat me.” Discord said with heavy breath, his voice mechanical and deep.
You just roll your eyes at him. “Christ, Discord, that isn’t even funny. Like, I was just gonna use these to slice through whatever you had. You couldn’t have come up with something better than that?”
“You’re as ignorant as you are gullible.” Discord said, unmoving, breathing slow and heavy.
Gullible? Ignorant?! Fuck him! You were none of those things! “That’s it, you’re done! You wanna be Vader? Then prepare to be Luke'd! Eat this!” And you rushed him, flailing your lightsabers around as he easily blocked and parried them with his lightpen. All you had to do was keep attacking. Even if he blocked everything as easily he was doing, you were still making him step back. Closer, closer, and closer still, until finally… “It’s over, Discord. You can’t keep this up forever!”
“How foolish of you to believe that, Anon.” Discord says as he lifts his face mask and shrugs, speaking normally as he does so. “Then again, I haven’t been able to do a darn thing to you with this pen. I suppose it is only mightier against one sword and not a blade more. It seems this is my swan song.” Discord said as he tossed the lightpen aside, it’s energy tip cutting through a rope that was… tethered… to the ground?
Uh oh…
You look straight up to see a piano coming down upon you. You yelp as you jump backwards, the piano coming down with a crash. “Holy crap, that was- wha huh? wh-HEY! WOAH!” Suddenly, a wind began to blow, growing in power as you began to slide back.
“What is this?! Discord has suddenly summoned a gigantic fan to try to send Anon to the other side of the arena! How will Anon deal with this one?” The announcer yells out in surprise, baffled by such a move.
“Do you feel that, Anon? I do believe this is called the ‘winds of change’.” Discord said as he began to cackle madly. Floating behind and above the fan as he watches you being blown back.
Shit, shit! The winds were getting stronger! Even as you use your magic to try to stick your hooves to the ground, the growing winds were starting to get worse and worse by the second.
Both Diamond and Scootaloo were ducking next to the edge of the arena to avoid the powerful winds. They didn't want to be blown away.
Wind, how could you deal with this?! WAIT! ‘WINDS OF CHANGE’! HAHA! YES! “I got him right where I want him! Let’s do this!” You use your magic to summon ‘The Wind Waker’, a magical baton used to shift the winds. “Up, left, right… And!” Just like that, with waves of the magical baton, The fan spins the opposite direction, with the wind shifting towards Discord.
“What in theOOF!” Discord is sent flying back and past the arena ground, slamming right into the wall before he could even react.
“W-woah, did I do it? Did I win?!” Holy shit! You did it! You really did it! And with only a few wounds.
“Anon… Woah…” Scootaloo dares to look over the edge, and could see Discord had fallen off the arena. “He… Really did it! Yeah! Go Anon!”
“He did? Wow! He did! That’s my Anon! I knew you could do it!” Diamond cheered
The crowd began to cheer, you finally did it, you won! You showed you were truly the best! You look over to the announcer, and call on him to announce your victory. “Yo, hey, what’s taking you so long? Say I won already.”
“But you didn’t. Rules stipulate that you have to fall off the arena. As in, on the ground. Discord was sent flying into the wall and… Oh wait, he’s not there, where did he go?” The announcer said, scratching his head as he looked around to try to find where Discord had gone to. Even the giant fan was gone. Shit! You blew him too hard! He didn’t hit the ground!
You began to look around frantically. Goddammit, you should have finished the job! You were so close, and you fucked it up! But you still had the advantage. Whatever he was going to pull out, you’d use whatever you knew to counter him.
Discord, he really might be the toughest opponent you’ve faced yet.
Where did he go?! You had to watch your back, your sides, below, everywhere. If the fight was still on, then Discord could make any kind of entrance he wants. He could dive in like a meteor, he could drop in Godzilla style, he could come through the ground, he could even… float down on an umbrella dressed like a British nanny, ok then.
“Deary me, what a frightful wind that was.” Discord said in a polite tone as he gently landed beside you as he greeted you with a warm smile. “Anon, how are you today? Not getting into TOO much trouble I hope.”
You just shake your head slowly at Discord, the shame of it all. “Really, Discord? What’s next, a spoonful of sugar? We’re supposed to be fighting here, y’know?”
“Oh, I know, but I just had to take a moment to properly congratulate you first.” Discord said as he gently tossed the umbrella away and began to clap. “You actually caught me off guard with that baton, bravo.”
Wut? “You’re congratulating me? Yeah, ok…” You jump into a fighting stance, prepared for any attack Discord might be planning. “You should already know I’m not falling for your tricks.”
“No tricks, Anon.” Discord said as he walked past you, arms behind his back. “That would be the first time anypony has managed to properly counter my chaos with some of their own. Makes me proud, Anon.” Discord then looks back at you with a cool grin. “You know that, right?”
“What do you mean? I’ve countered you before.” You remain at the ready. He was obviously getting ready to pull some kind of bullshit.
Discord waggles a talon at you as he turns around. “Not like that. Anon, haven’t you realized it yet? Or did you truly think you could actually beat me with not only chaos magic, but MY chaos magic.”
What does he mean by that? You’ve managed to hold him off so far. And if what he said about you countering him is true, then you must have some upper hand against him right now if he has to rely on such a simple trick of trying to catch you off guard through conversation. “What are you getting at?”
“Anon, what do you think I’m getting at? Aside from a minor slip, this happens to be my pocket dimension, my magic, my reality. I could have beaten you at anytime. I could have pulled this entire arena away like a rug, transformed you into something squishy and weak, or I could have even disabled your horn. But that wouldn’t be fun, and that wouldn’t teach you the lesson I’m trying to teach you now.” Discord said, his tone becoming more serious with every word.
Your eyes widen. Holy shit, he could have done all those things, things you didn’t even think of doing since you just wanted to overwhelm him with power. But what did he mean by teaching you? Did it have to do with him congratulating you? Wait, was he training you? Did it have to do with this fight? Wait, that’s why he pulled the whole teaching thing, wasn’t it?! This wasn’t a class just for your classmates, this was for you too! I-if that’s the case, then… “So, you’ve been letting me think I had a chance the whole time just to teach me something about chaos? Discord, why? I already know a lot about chaos magic, so what is this all about?”
Discord scoffed as he began to scratch at his forehead, annoyed. “Everything, Anon! It’s the very reason I gave you that upgrade in the first place. All that power and you still nearly get yourself destroyed!” Discord was becoming angry, emotional, as he stomped up to you, pointing at you with his talon. “I can forgive the chimera, that was Celestia’s fault! But the Storm King?! You could have easily destroyed him or sealed him right upon meeting him with one charge! And yet you went with what Twilight told you to do! Twilight, who doesn’t even use chaos magic! And don’t tell me he could see the flow of magic around him, that doesn’t matter either. You have the power to shift reality if need be with one singular charge and you not only nearly got yourself destroyed, but Fluttershy as well! The limits I put on your horn was for you to try to be more creative with your abilities with the few charges you have, and even then, you needed a push with the manipulation of your own sanity so you wouldn’t be beat by the likes of some silly dragon or the ‘Storm Ravager’. I’ve given you so much, and yet you squander it every time. Well, Anon, even my patience can be tested. It may be considered a vice to some, but you and Fluttershy are like family to me. I can’t lose either of you, is that clear? Do you understand now why you mastering your power is crucial?”
Oh god, it was like actually being scolded by your father. You didn’t even realize he was really taking things that hard, that he was still thinking about what could have happened back then. He didn’t do it to be an ass or to be intrusive. He really meant it, he did it all so you wouldn’t get hurt. You barely even knew what to say to him. “D-Discord, I… Look, I didn’t know it was… That bad. Did I… Did I really worry you that much? I-I mean, I… No, I didn’t, Tempest did. And I guess I never really bothered to utilize my magic in, like, a way that could decimate completely. Discord, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, I know you are. But you’re wrong about decimating your foe as well. You’re supposed to toy with your meal before you utterly crush their hopes and dreams.” Discord said as he closed his talon tight like a fist. “But I digress. Anon, all I want, aside from the usual, is for you to be safe, to be responsible in your irresponsibility, and to, for the love of all things me, stop being such an entitled nincompoop! Do you ever see me acting that way?”
“E-er, I mean, sorta? Heh, we’re both entitled nincompoops, eh?” You look to Discord with a smile. He was probably right though, you were really losing yourself again. It wasn’t just about relaxing and trying to get your mind out of the trouble you’re in, but you also had to trust in your friends too, and also be a friend to them. It wasn’t just about you. A lesson you somehow keep forgetting.
“Speak for yourself.” Discord said as he pulled at his skirt like window blinds to roll it up, bringing himself to his normal self. “I’m still the best there ever was, and always will be. Now then, we still have a show to put on for your class, and I can see your little lovebird trying to figure out what we’re talking about. Remember, Anon, chaos can only truly counter chaos with more chaos. Do me proud, son.” Discord said as he entered a battle stance. “Alright, make some words or whatever, the fight is back on.” Discord said to the announcer, who was just staring silently.
“Ah, right, right, ahrm.” The clone looked to the crowd, and began to resume his commentary. “Fillies and gentlecolts, after a brief time out, the battle is on again! Anon and Discord are sure to really bring the heat on now! I’d suggest holding on to your seats, because things are about to get wild!“
“Alright, Discord, here I come!” You jump backwards and throw a giant water balloon at Discord.
Discord just stands there, takes the hit, and then raises an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? A water balloon? What is that supposed to do?”
“This! HAHA!” You pull out an electric guitar out of nowhere and start to play a rad metal version of the MLP theme.
“Anon, when I said to put on a show, this isn’t what I had in mind.” Discord said as he stood there, still confused by your wild playing. Though the crowd seemed to be loving it, even Diamond was suddenly fawning over you.
Heh, was he really going to stand there?! Then he was right, you just had to be more creative with your magic, while also making sure to bring in a decisive blow. In other words, confusing him with your song before striking him down with a surprise attack! You call out the final lyric of “FRIEEEENNDDSSS” As a giant lightning bolt is fired off towards the soaking draconequus.
“You kids and your new fangled music. Let me show you how it’s done!” Discord, almost immediately, pulls out a trumpet and catches the bolt of lightning as he begins to play a terrifying cacophony of a trumpet solo.
Wait, shit! He was going to send the bolt back at you! You quickly turn yourself into rubber as the bolt is blasted back through the trumpet. With your body now being rubber, the lightning is quickly nullified.
“How shocking! You managed to negate my counter attack. But now it’s time we heat things up!” Discord said as he snapped his paws. In an instant, a ring of fire appears around you and begins to quickly enclose upon you.
Ah! But you were ready for this one! Discord’s pun pretty much alluded to some sort of fire attack. “Sorry, Discord, but you need to chill out with those puns. Makes you too obvious” You immediately jump back, removing your rubbery skin as an ice clone is created of you. You then quickly buck the ice clone through the ring of fire and towards Discord.
“Oh, an ice sculpture, how quaint. But I’m going to give it a smashing review that-” Discord conjures a baseball bat to slam the ice sculpture back into you. But the moment the bat makes contact, it and Discord himself are instantly frozen in ice. The ring of fire then dissipates.
“Holy hell, it actually worked! Hah! Thank you Mortal Kombat.” You said to yourself as you dance trotted over to Discord, the crowd cheering as you did so.
“Oh no! Somehow, Anon has turned Discord into a block of ice! How the tables have turned! It looks like Anon is about to FINISH HIM now!” The announcer called out.
“Oooh, a fatality, always wanted to do one of-” But as you talked to yourself, suddenly the text saying ‘here comes a new challenger’ appeared above you. “What, huh? New challenger? What is that suppOOH GOD! NO! AGH!” Suddenly, a monstrous four armed Discord grabs you and starts beating the living shit out of you with two other fists before slamming you to the ground, jumping up, and then coming down on you before hopping off and posing to the crowd.
“Pain… S-so much, pain.” You barely roll over on your back and look at the celebrating Discord. H-holy shit, where, how?! R-right, he can b-bend reality… Ngh. Dammit, you should have realized he knew what was going on after his clone made such an obvious quote. You missed the tell.
“Oh no! Anon is down!” Scootaloo cried out as she looked to Diamond. “And he got pounded real good too! How is he supposed to get up from that?!”
“I-I don’t know. D-daddy Discord just hit him really hard, that's all. It's nothing! Anon! ANON! You have to get up! You can’t let him beat you now! I know you can do it!” Diamond called to you, hoping you could hear her.
You could feel it though, Discord did a number on you, you could swear a few bones in your body were broken. Even though you could hear Diamond, you really couldn’t move to make some sort of counter attack. Y-you should have expected Discord was going to come hard after seeing that text. What were you supposed to do? How were you going to fight back? The only way you could even think of beating that was to… Oh wait.
“D-Discord, y-you haven’t beaten me yet.” You say as you slowly try to stand up, coughing up a few teeth as you do so.
“Hm?” Discord stops his posing towards the gasping crowd as he looked to you with a smirk. “Oh? Well, I think I know I’ve beaten you. You should have heeded my words, Anon. You seem a little too broken now to do anything.”
“N-not yet… I still got… This.” You use your magic to summon a few bits. And what do you do with them? You eat them, of course.
“Did you just…? Anon, I know I wanted you to be chaotic, but that’s just dumb. What is that even supposed to…” Discord then looks up and sees the same text you saw before. “Hm? Isn’t that the gag I justOH GOODNESS GRACIOUS!”
Suddenly out of nowhere, you shoulder charge right into Discord, hit him with flaming green skull, shoulder charge him again, and then combo into three warhammer hits before slamming it right on top of him, turning him to mush in the ground. You just appeared out of nowhere, wearing a skull mask. Ha! All you needed was an extra credit to get back in the game! “You are pathetic!”
“W-well, I certainly didn’t see that coming.” Discord said weakly and near broken, splishy splashing as the little puddle he was. “I-I suppose this is what it feels like to be tenderized.”
“Liquefied is more like it! Geez, are you alright? I didn’t mean to crush you that bad.” Like seriously, he didn’t see that coming at all. “You really should leave the pop culture references to me though, I handle them better.”
“It seems so… H-however…” The puddle of Discord does not hesitate for even a moment as he begins to quickly envelope your hammer. Before you can even react, Discord, now the hammer itself, swings himself right into your side, sending you towards the edge of the arena. “I just can’t help but take a whack at it sometimes! HAHA!”
Oh god, you weren’t expecting that either. You just slammed right onto the ground and nearly rolled right off the arena. Shit! You had to get up! You quickly go to get up on your hooves when you noticed Discord, in his normal form, was already standing right in front of you, looking down at you with a dark smirk. “Ngh, s-shit…”
“Better, Anon, better, you managed to counter me twice. But part of your training requires you to think speedily, as an opponent such as myself is quick to recover. I congratulate you, Anon, I think you’re getting the hang of things, but you just can’t seem to learn to always expect that your opponent ALWAYS needs a little more chaos in their lives. Now, I’m going to give you one last chance. Throw something at me, throw it, and I’ll undoubtedly counter it, and then… Well, either you do what I expect you to do, or you actually manage to throw it back at me. Move quickly, Anon, I’m not going to give you too much time to think of something.”
“Oh no! Anon is on his last legs! Unless he thinks of something quick, Discord will have the victory!” The announcer yells out.
“Anon! Do something! Throw him off the ring! You’re so close! You can win! YOU CAN WIN!” Diamond yells out to you from the other side of the arena.
Ring him out? How in the fuck were you going to do that without him countering you?! He was expecting it, he was expecting you to throw something out at him. What could you do to win?! He had enough knowledge to counter even your pop culture spells! There has to be something, something around, something you could use. If not to beat him, but at least ring him… Out? Wait, his words, his words from before. He said he could change reality around him and even pull the ring out from under you. He also said your magic was his magic. So… “Well, Discord, I guess you were right. I guess beating you wasn’t an option.”
“Don’t feel too bad about it, Anon. I told you you had no real chance. I just want you to use this to better yourself. Also, your class really needs to learn to cheer for the winners. I just have no idea what to do to get them to cheer for me.” Discord said as he looked back at the crowd, who was booing at him for the most part.
“Yeah well, I am the hero colt to them, so, y’know. Discord, I really do see what you mean now, and I’m sorry about how I’ve acted lately, getting crazy with Chrysalis and all that jazz, getting mad at you at the drop of a hat, it just isn’t right. Do you forgive me?” You ask him.
“I do” Discord said as he began to look at a bag of clubs. “Hm, now should I use the nine iron? Or the putter?”
“Discord, c’mon, I’m serious. I really mean what I said. Discord, there was even something I wanted to tell you, if you don’t mind me saying it now.” C’mon, c’mon…
Discord was eyeing the length of a 3 wood. “Ohh, this could do nicely. Hm? Oh, yes yes, say whatever you like.”
“Well, Discord…” You slowly began to squirm towards the edge of the arena, and gently placed your hoof right at the corner. “The thing I wanted to say was...PSYCHE!” Using a mixture of your hoof and your magic, you press down on the edge of the arena so hard that you send it directly into the ground in a way that is more like phasing through it, causing both you and Discord to fall right onto the dirt. And that meant…
“Holy Toledo! Anon just pulled a power move! But what a shame of a power move that was as both our fighters are disqualified! That’s right, folks, the fight is over without a winner due to the lack of anything to even stand on! A shame, but amazing play nonetheless! Let’s hear it for our two fighters, yeeeeeeeeahherrmmm…” The announcer tosses his microphone away as he just walks off. “No seriously, how anti-climatic. What even was that?”
The crowd didn’t know how to react, neither did Scootaloo and Diamond.
Discord just laid there, on his face, mortified about what just happened. “How? How did I not see that coming?”
“I took advantage of the one thing you weren’t expecting, me willing to make the fight end in a tie.” You say as you lay on your back, chuckling.
“Ooooh, I really didn’t see that one coming. How detestable, how rotten, how underhooved…” Discord, at first sounding so defeated, then began to giggle. “Finally, a real good use of your magic. I’m proud of you, Anon. You did the right thing.”
“I did? Heh, thanks Discord. You did really good too, y’know? I’m glad you gave me this chance to actually fight you, even if you were just testing me. I promise, from now on, I’ll use my chaos magic better. And for sure, I promise not to give you such a hard time anymore. But you gotta lay off too sometimes, you can be a real ass.” You tell him.
“As if I’d agree to that. No, you do what you like. I’ll remove the upgrade from your horn, but you still remain with the two charges after today. Also, never mention this to anypony. Discord does not tie with anypony, not even you, Anon.” Discord said as he narrowed his eyes towards the sky. He really did not enjoy a tie, even if he was so proud of you.
“Deal.” Well, at least that’s done with. The upgrade was gone.
Discord, fuck man, you don’t need to repeat yourself on what he does for you, you know it. Just, this time, Anon, try not to fuck up. You’re not one of those guys who always have to stick with the status quo. Do it, just… Relax. Well, you were going to see Tempest after this, so relaxing shouldn’t be too hard. You wonder how she’s doing. Hm...
Whatever, the thing is, you have to really utilize this training, utilize Discord's teachings, and not be as much as an ass as you have been. And this time, you have to REALLY actually do that, no excuses.
“...And so class, with chaos, anything is possible, but requires a vast understanding of it to use properly. The spar between Anon and I was but a taste of not only proper use of chaos magic, but how different it can work depending on its user. Indeed, when used properly, one can say chaos takes on the forms of the mind of its caster, which is why Anon’s magic is mostly ‘pop referency’ while mine takes on a more sophisticated manifestation. Either way, as you saw, both versions can make for an interesting battle of wits. Ahrm.” Discord cleared his throat a little nervously as he said his next line of words. “However, given it was just a demonstration, it ending in a tie was only due to the fact that it was, as I said, a demonstration. Is that not correct, son?” Discord looked to you, hoping for you to play along.
You were sitting on your seat, as everything had been set to normal at this point. You nod, smile, and wave to the class. “Yeah, Dad is really good when he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. But, y’know, don’t count me out either. I did manage to keep things even most of the fight.”
“You did, that I will admit. Again, we all know if anypony actually tried to square off against me, they’d end up walking backwards while mooing like a dog, this includes Princess Twilight as well. But when it comes to my son and his own skills in the art of chaos, I’d say you all might have had a chance to live a normal life if him and I actually fought on that fateful day, many moons ago. A very tiny chance, but a chance. A verrryyy slim chance indeed.” Discord said as the room grew dark, his grin becoming darker and darker until suddenly everything became normal again as Discord calmly adjusted his tie. “But that has nothing to do with the lesson. In fact, with the lesson over, it is time for questions! You there, cowering under your table, what did you learn from chaos?”
Discord was, of course, pointing at Silver Spoon, who had become frightened the moment the room became dark and Discord’s glare filled with malevolence. Even with that moment over, she dare not poke her head out. Not until Diamond looked back at her and poked her side, then began to whisper to her. “Psst, Silver Spoon, c’mon, how can you still be scared of Daddy Discord?”
“D-Diamond.” Silver Spoon said as she raised her head slightly, opening one eye to look at her as she cowered under her desk. “Did you even notice that, like, the entire room got dark while he looked at us like he wanted to eat us?”
“Yeah? And? He does that, like, every time. Now come on, don’t keep him waiting! He went through all that trouble to show us something totally awesome, so there had to be something you liked about the lesson.” Diamond, while being a little chastising, did want to see what her best friend had to say about the subject. Considering Silver herself had never been too accepting of Discord and his chaotic shenanigans, surely now, after such a cool demonstration, she’d have something positive to say.
“W-well…” Silver Spoon slowly popped her head above her desk, took a breath, and looked to Discord to give him an answer. “I did think it was pretty cool that it looked like you could basically do anything you wanted. I-I think if I could do chaos magic like that, that I would have tried blowing you away with like, the most fabulous dress you’ve ever seen.”
Discord only narrowed his eyes as he looked to Silver in disgust. “I hope you realized that you gave me a heart attack just by saying that. And a stroke, see?” Discord said as he pointed to a kayak literally traveling through one ear and out the other as little Discord clones were stroking within it. “A fabulous dress is NOT chaotic in the slightest, and now you will suffer the consequences!” Discord said as his arms began to turn all firey and red.
Silver eeped and hid under her desk again, pointing at Discord as she shrieked. “See! See! I told you! He’s a monster!”
Discord suddenly stopped as he pointed to himself, feeling insulted. “Me?! A monster?! How can I be the monster when you’re the one who insulted the very basis of chaos itself! That big an example and all you can think of was making a dress? That’s, like, Rarity’s thing. And even then, I don’t even think she’d have given me that as an answer. I am right about that, aren’t I?” Discord said as he actually looked at Sweetie Belle for an answer.
Sweetie Belle looked confused for a moment as she looked left and right. She then realized Discord was, in fact, asking for her acknowledgement on the subject. “Er, she probably would. But if it had to be chaotically themed, erm, then I think she’d at least force it on a bunch of stallions instead.”
“Oh, now that’s just classic. Stallions always seem to lose their minds when they are in the clothes of the opposite gender. Sweetie Belle, you can have an ‘A’ for improving on her idea. Puh, just a dress, how creatively bankrupt. Anyway, you there, with the camera, I assume you learned quite a bit about chaos considering how many times you snapped that camera of yours.” Discord, was of course, talking to Featherweight.
“Oh yeah, I learned a lot actually! It seems like, to me anyway, that chaos is themed to the personality of the user, for sure! Like, if I could master it, I think I’d be able to capture every second of anypony’s life on camera, no matter where they are or what they are doing. When it comes to the school paper, I’d be able to make it the greatest source of news in Equestria, as nothing would be be able to escape the flash of my awesome camera, nopony would be able to hide an- Er…” Featherweight realized he was starting to sound a little dark there, getting a bit into what he already likes to do as a hobby. “A-ahrm, erm, and I did actually get some cool photos of you and Anon. See? Here’s one of Anon playing that sweet gui-” But he is interrupted as Diamond quickly swipes the photo from him.
“This is mine now!” Diamond said as she became fixated on the photo “He looks so totally dreamy here…” She says with a whisper, just fawning over you as if you were some sort of rock star.
“Oh, erm, well… I also got this cool snapshot of Anon getting super smashed by your-Eep!” Featherweight is taken aback as Discord literally snaps his paw over like an elastic band to snatch the picture of him beating you up from Featherweight’s hoof.
“I’ll be keeping this… For reasons. This is real good too, you can literally see the fear in Anon’s eyes right before my next fist smashes into his face. Such a perfect snapshot, you get an ‘A’ as well!” Discord said as he admired himself in the photo.
“Oh, erm, uh? Ok!” Featherweight said, seeming pleased with his grading. But then he had to ask something. “Can I still use some of these other shots for tomorrow’s paper? I want everypony to know about how awesome this lesson was!”
“It was, wasn’t it? Yes, that’ll probably be fine as long as you remember to post your best shots and make sure anything written about me highlights my finer skills in magic and technique. And try to make the end sound more dramatic than what actually happened. If your readers are going to be amazed by the story then you have to make sure the end simply floors them.” Discord explained as he made an elegant pose, looking to Featherweight with a gentle yet extravagant smile. “And take a picture of me right now to use on your front page. I think it’ll help your readers understand how snazzy I actually am.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Discord, sir.” Featherweight said with a salute. Quickly snapping a photo of him to use for later.
“Oh, Mr. Discord, I learned something too. May I say it?” Pip said as he eagerly raised his hoof, trying to gain Discord’s attention.
“But of course, I noticed you do seem to have a curious eye for chaos. Tell me, what amazing thing did you learn?” Discord said as he looked to Pip with a hopeful grin, awaiting even more praise for his handiwork.
“Well, actually, it’s more that I wanted to ask if the princesses dislike your magic. Princess Twilight doesn’t seem to like it very much, and that doesn’t seem too right to me. I’d like to think that your powers make everypony ever so happy. At least, erm, that’s what I think you try to do, since Anon does such a tip top job being a hero!” Pip looked back at Discord, near adorably, just wanting to hear a positive and uplifting answer from him.
“Ah, a good question with a simple answer. Aside from Princess Twilight, the other princesses seem to vary from instance to instance on the amount they enjoy or dislike my magic. Princess Twilight? Well, she’s rather prudish. Actually, she’s always prudish. Let me tell you all something, and Anon can attest to this, Princess Twilight is a decent princess and such, good at what she does for the most part, but she always has a habit of blowing everything out of proportion. In fact, you should have seen how she reacted when I first adopted Anon.” Discord put a paw to his chest, and began to sniffle and wipe his eyes. “She was so sure that I only adopted him for some grand scheme. In fact, at one point, she didn’t even believe Anon actually existed. Yes, I suppose some could say she had her reasons, but to act in such a manner simply because it involves me is… Well… Ngh…” Discord took out a handkerchief and blew his nose. “I’m sorry, students, it simply is too saddening a memory to recall here and now.”
While most of the class instantly felt sorry for Discord, it was of course the CMC, namely Applebloom, who had something to say about that. “Ain’t the reason Princess Twilight don’t like your magic too much is because you’re mean to her when you use it?”
“What?! How preposterous! Yes, you can say that perhaps it was in the few times I was evil that I wanted to be 'mean' to her. But as a reformed spirit of chaos, well, that’s just laughable. Isn’t it laughable, Anon?” Discord looks to you, hoping you’d jump to his side.
“I mean… Erm, yeah.” He wasn’t entirely wrong, Twilight was a prude. Er, well, yeah. No matter what, if she had just kept her shit together, then the whole deal thing with Chrysalis wouldn’t even be a thing. “She is always uptight. Nopony else seems to lose their mind like she does when something goes awry. And by awry, I mean even the tiniest thing bothers her. C’mon, Applebloom, you should know that. From the first time she knew about Zecora to using that ‘want it, need it’ spell to even more recently with the whole, er, well… I’m sure she’s freaked out about something recently in front of you. Point is, Dad isn’t wrong, and neither am I.”
“Ya know about when she… Wait, and the ‘Want it…” Applebloom had to shake her head for a moment to catch her thoughts. She knew you seemed to know an awful lot of random knowledge already about their lives, but it still blew her mind whenever you pulled something she was sure you knew nothing about. It was enough to muddle her mind enough to find it difficult to counter your points. “Er, well… Ah guess Princess Twilight is a little uptight. She sure seems to lose it a lot more these days.”
“Well, she is a princess now. And between that, keeping Equestria safe, and now a school to run? Yeah, I can see her being uptight. But that doesn’t change the fact that Discord still does things without thinking of others. Remember when he went to the Gala? And I heard from Rarity that he made this really crude statue of Twilight and just… Well, ahrm.” Indeed, she was speaking about when he placed that statue for Twilight to find for his ‘movie’. She was, of course, also unwilling to repeat what she had heard about it in full, given its nature. “Anyway, the point is, even if Twilight is uptight, Discord can still be pretty mean.”
“Hogwash, I simply make things more interesting, that’s all. That ‘A’ is now a ‘C’ by the way. I will not accept that kind of sass in my classroom.” Discord said as he crossed his arms, looking away as he scoffed.
“Hey! That’s not fair at… Wait, your classroom? This is Miss Cheerilee’s classroom. And where is she, anyway? Are you sure she’s ok? You didn’t do anything more to her while you were teaching us chaos, were you?” Sweetie Belle accused.
“Hmph, how should I know? I’ve been too busy being the best teacher this class has ever known. Remember, she did have a boring math lesson planned for today. In fact, we do have a little time left, so how would you all like to learn about REAL math, stuck on an island of puzzles and numbers in which only solving the arithmetic type riddles will be the key to your escape? Daunting yes, but those who succeed get a free cake! Now that is tempting, don’t you think?” Discord looked to the rest of the class, hoping for all of them to jump at the chance to try his game.
“Err, that sounds too hard.” Snails said, slowly slinking his head onto his desk. “My head already hurts from thinking about it.”
“Yeah, uh, it doesn’t sound very cool either. It still sounds like math stuff.” Rumble said.
“That’s a no way from me too. I’m not going to risk my life on something like that, math is already hard, I don’t need to worry about watching out for monsters while I’m at it.” Scootaloo added.
“What?! Anon, surely you think that’s a good idea, right? The caaaake is chocooollaaateee” Discord said in a sing song way, trying to entice you.
“Er, I’m kinda with them, Dad. The fight thing was cool, but er, I’d just rather not get stuck at some puzzle while watching out for my life. Just doesn’t sound too good to me. But hey, the rest of the lesson was awesome, real top notch stuff! But Sweetie Belle is probably on to something, maybe you should call it a day and bring Miss Cheerilee back since school is nearly over anyway.” You suggested. His newest lesson sounded terrible, and you’d rather most of the class retain their higher opinion of him before he himself screws that up.
“Oh, alright, alright. Well, class, it was fun. In fact, it was so fun that if any of you, and I do mean ANY of you, feel that you need my services again, please, do not hesitate to ask. I do trust that you all at least had fun with what lesson I did teach today, right?” Discord asked, actually hoping for some validation in his efforts. In a near instant, it was given to him, as you and the rest of the class, with varying amounts of enthusiasm, cheered him on. Discord, for a moment, had a warm smile on his face before turning around to hide his tears. “W-well, then we’ll definitely need another day to do this again. In anycase… Oh wait, one last thing.” Discord turns back around, looking directly at you with a gentle smile. “Anon, when I do come back for another session, would you mind helping me out as my assistant again?”
You nod, hell yeah you would, that was actually pretty fun. “Anytime, Dad.”
“Aha! Good to hear. Well then, adios, students, the ever random direction of chaos calls to me. Please remember what you learned here today, as you never know when you’ll need it.” Discord said before snapping his talons. In an instant, he disappears as Cheerilee reappears. She was cuddling onto Snips, nuzzling without notice of what was going on around her.
“Oh, Seashore Sands, You have been so good to me today. But as much as I’d love to run away with you, my duty is to my class and to my students. You’ve made me feel like a young mare again and there really is no way to repay you. I-I just… I just don’t…” Cheerilee leaned in, and gave Snips a rather passionate kiss on the cheek, making him beet red.
“M-Miss Cheerilee?” Snips said with a nervous gulp.
“Y-yes, Seashore? Wait, why do you suddenly sound like one of my…” Cheerilee opened her eyes, to see that she had just given a lovely kiss to one of her students, and realizing she was in her classroom “Gyah! Snips!? How did you get here?! How did my room get here?! Where, what, when?! I-I was in his room and then…” Cheerilee brought her hooves to her mouth as she looked onto Snips, horrified. “Was I sleepwalking the whole time?! Oh my gosh! Then those belly rubs and nibbles on the ears… Was by a student?! What did I?! When?! What will everypony say?! G-Guh, Ngh, Ahhh-” And with that Cheerilee falls backwards, falling unconscious due to being overwhelmed by her terrible thoughts.
Snips just brought a hoof to his cheek and looked to Snails for counsel. “Snails, my first kiss! Do you think this is true love?”
Snails shook his head. “I don’t think so, wouldn’t that just mean you’d have even more homework to do? Teachers give their coltfriends more homework, right?”
“Oh gosh! You’re right!” Snips said as he quickly tried to wipe off his cheek “Miss Cheerilee already gets on me for not doing my homework, I don’t want her making me sleep on a couch because of it too! I like my bed!”
The whole class couldn’t help but burst into laughter after that. And while you found it funny as well, and even with Diamond right there, you couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous about Snips getting that kiss. Cheerilee was pretty hot, and whatever was even going on during her little vacation sounded pretty sexy already. Some stallions just get all the luck.
With school over, it was time to prepare to visit Tempest. Well, almost, you had wanted to take Diamond aside to talk to her about the current Chrysalis situation, let her know what's up, but she was being rather insistent on the fact that she had to have some girl time with Silver Spoon, but that she would ‘totally’ see you later so you could talk… Among other things. You didn’t even really get a chance to tell her about the subject of the discussion. Then again, saving it for AFTER your visit might not be such a bad idea either.
Then there was Cozy Glow. You just had this itch, you wanted to at least go and check how she was doing at this moment. Or maybe it was something else, maybe you just wanted to observe how she interacts with others. Or maybe just see how others interact with her. Something just felt off, and yet you couldn’t put your hoof on it. Maybe you were just looking too deep into it. She’s a little filly, it could just be anxiety issues.
“Alright, Anon, we gotta talk.” You hear from your front. You look forward and realized you were kind of just standing a few yards from the school, and even more, the CMC have surrounded you. Applebloom herself was staring right at you, staring at you hard, as if she wanted something. “There’s something not right about you, and I want to know what that is.”
The hell? “Guh?! Applebloom? Girls? What’s going on? What is this about?”
“We want to know how you always seem to know so much about everypony. Like, whenever anypony says anything about anything, you always seem to have some sort of example or excuse to counter their point. It’s super suspicious.” Sweetie Belle said as she looked at you from your right side, suspiciously.
“Hate to say it, Anon, but they’re right. It is reaaaalllyy weird you seem to know all these random tidbits about us all the time. And the really weird thing about it, and we started to notice this, is that it’s pretty much stuff from right after Twilight even showed up in Ponyville.” Scootaloo said from your left side, looking a little more concerned than inquisitive.
“Yep, allll the way up until ya actually showed up, and then suddenly you don’t know much of nothen unless you were there or we pretty much tell ya. Seems really suspicious to me.” Applebloom said as she looked you directly in the eye, bringing her face close to yours.
What?! Now they notice?! Wait, they fucking noticed?! Ok ok, relax, Anon, you can counter this. You take a step back, take a breath, and look to Applebloom with confidence. “Look, as I am sure I mentioned before, I asked Dad about a lot of the finer points and details, and asked around for the rest. Back then, ya know, I just wanted to make sure I could make friends with everypony.”
“C’mon, Anon, we know you’re not even from this dimension, so you can’t fool us like you do everypony else. I doubt your dad knows all those details about us, and I can’t even think of a situation where anypony would tell you about all that other stuff just out of the blue. Applebloom is right, it is super suspicious, and as your friends, we think you should tell us how you REALLY know all that stuff.” Sweetie Belle said as the other two nodded.
‘As your friends’?! Where does she get off telling you that?! Aside from Scoots, you really didn’t owe Applebloom and especially Sweetie Belle anything. You just roll your eyes and grumble. “Are you all serious? How else would I know about that stuff then? I don’t have a crystal ball that tells me everything about a pony’s life. If I did, then don’t you think I’d have been able to reform Chrysalis already? Or heck, instantly crush any threat that showed up in Ponyville before it even happens? Let me ask you all this. How else would I know about all that?”
“Well, that ain’t for us to answer, Anon. But ah know how to get it out of ya.” Applebloom said as she reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a vial with a yellow liquid in it. “Been holdin’ on to this for about a month now, made it myself.”
“Woah, woah, hey! Applebloom, didn’t you say that truth potion lasts for a whole week? I thought we were going to save that for anypony who tries to trick us or something. I didn’t know you were gonna use it on Anon!” Scootaloo said, startled by Applebloom’s power move.
“Seems like a good idea to me. Anon knows all this stuff about everything, but we still don’t really know too much about him. I say we use the potion.” Sweetie Belle says, standing to Applebloom’s side. “It’s only fair.”
What in the fuck?! All this because you knew certain bits from season 2?! Ok, they were taking things way too seriously now. A truth potion that lasts a week?! Nuts to that! Lying is fucking important, and you aren’t dealing with that shit. “Aren’t I supposed to be a friend or something? What kind of friend makes another drink some weird potion?”
Scootaloo flinched at that one, and then looked to her two friends. “He’s got a good point. It doesn’t seem right to force him to drink that stuff. C’mon, girls, Anon is right, how else would he know all that stuff? It’s not like his dimension had an Equestria that played out exactly like ours does. I mean, if it did, then why would Discord even bother bringing him here if he was that other Discord's kid?”
“But, that just sounds… Er…” Applebloom slowly lowered the potion, staring at it. “Erm, ah guess that would be a pretty bad thing to do, even if tellin’ the truth is somethin’ you’re supposed to do. Ah just, ah guess the reason ah even brewed this thing was because ah was savin’ it for a moment like this, and that’s the truth.” Applebloom’s ears folded as she looked down in shame. “Ahm sorry, Anon. Ah just thought there was somethin’ else to ya that you just weren’t tellin us, and ah really wanted to know what that was, especially with you knowin’ all that stuff about us. You always seem to know a lot of stuff, but ya never really explain it to us.”
“But it still doesn’t make any sense though. There is no possible way he could know through… Ah nuts, fine, I know it’s wrong to use the potion, even if I also didn't really know why Applebloom had it. But, Anon, is that really how you know all that stuff? How does Discord know if he wasn’t even there?” Sweetie asked, still curious to the real ‘truth’ to the matter. “Why would anypony just tell you all that random stuff?”
Crisis averted, thank god for Scootaloo having your back. But christ, a truth potion? You almost forgot Applebloom had some alchemical skill. Would have been a fucking disaster if they somehow forced you to drink that stuff. As for the girls, you had to think as you suddenly found yourself at an advantageous position. You could just tell them to fuck off, but that would upset Scootaloo. Buuuuuut, if Cozy believes you’re a professor, and you believe you’re as good as Twilight, then you might as well put your teaching skills to the test. It’s a bit risky, but goddamn, you could ‘gary stu’ through this one for sure and show them how wrong they really were to distrust you… Even if they were right. “Because I’m more social than you realize. Geez, Sweetie Belle, did you forget all the friends I have? A lot of ponies tell me a lot of things? You hurt me, you really do. Tch, you know what? I think you all should see friendship through my eyes. I am going to go visit my friend, Tempest Shadow. You all wanna come with? We’re traveling first class teleportation.”
“I want to come! She seemed pretty cool during the festival, but she also looked pretty nervous. I’d really want a chance to talk to her. Does she still use that cool airship?” Scootaloo asked, already excited to take up the offer.
“W-well…” Applebloom, still feeling rather ashamed, looked at you with such a sorry expression, feeling terrible about what she had planned to do. “Erm, ah don’t mind, Anon. Ah mean, well… You ain’t mad at me, right?”
Yes “No, but I really think you should come if you want to see some truth to what I say. I get around, Applebloom. I know stuff. But you don’t know anything about my more private life unless it literally plops right in front of you. I just want you to see some of it, maybe it’ll help you understand me better.”
“I dunno. What does us even going have to do with you knowing all that stuff?” Sweetie Belle asked, still skeptical.
“Because you guys usually act as if I’m lying or up to something I shouldn’t. I want to show you that some of the stuff I do is just out of scope, but isn’t anything too unusual most of the time. The most you guys got me on was Chrysalis. And hey, now you guys got Scrappy as a friend. I figured having you guys meet Tempest will just show that some of the stuff I do isn’t all secretive and shadowy, that it’s just something you guys just wouldn’t know about because you don’t know the going ons of every aspect of my life. I mean, I’ve been told a few times that was the case with me, so now, that is the case with you. Besides, again, going back to what started all this. How else would I know what I know? You guys actually act is if I somehow was watching you guys and knew exactly what to do before Dad even brought me here. And I gotta say, don’t you think that sounds really far fetched?” stomp it in, Anon, stomp it in. Really put the salt on the wound. Because, guess what, you just told them the truth, and they’ll never be able to call you on it. Let’s see Sweetie counter that one!
And she couldn’t, she just sort of sat there, silent, until finally Applebloom spoke up again. “Anon is right, maybe we were just overthinkin’ it. Scootaloo, yer the closest to Anon out of all of us, you ever noticed anything wrong?”
Scootaloo shook her head and shrugged. “Nope, other than the regular chaos stuff. C’mon girls, relax! Anon isn’t mad, so you two should really just drop all that suspicious stuff. If anything crazy was going on, Anon would tell us, right Anon?”
You nod. “Yep.”
“Then what’s with the shackles?” Sweetie Belle pointed at them, still skeptical, if finally starting to relent. “I thought you just summoned them up for that experiment. Do you still need them?”
GYAH! SHIT! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! “O-oh, erm…” Ok, Anon, think. You were going to tell Diamond, and obviously Scrappy will know and he WILL tell Applebloom and Sweetie Belle if Scootaloo doesn't. Ugh, you can’t just tell them about it now either, it would spoil the trip. “Ok, you got me on that one. They are super important. And it kind of has to do with Scrappy and-”
“Ah knew it! Then it has to do with why mah sister needed him. This really is ab-” As Applebloom was about to blurt it out, you rush over to her and cram her mouth shut. Fuck, you forgot about the detail that she already had overheard something.
“Yes! Fine, yes! Scootaloo was going to tell you both, she already knew, ok? Let’s not go yelling that out loud, please? Ok, and-” But then Sweetie Belle looked to Scootaloo in disbelief.
“You knew?! And you didn’t tell us?!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Gyah! Look, I found out just before class started! I was going to let you both know back at the clubhouse! B-but see? This is what Anon was talking about! He didn’t even try to hide it from us, he just needed to hide it from the rest of the class because of how super serious this all is. We all know how important this is to Anon, he and Princess Celestia did pretty much end up reforming every other changeling, just like we helped reform Scrappy. So we have to be there to help Anon reform Chrysalis.” Scootaloo, what a bro-er, sis! Once again jumping to your defense.
“But what about Scrappy?! What if Chrysalis tries to hurt him! Why does Twilight even need him?” Applebloom demanded an answer.
Christ, this was not the fucking time to talk about this! You began to frantically whisper. “Ok, look, she can’t hurt anypony, ok?! The shackles? They are part of a deal! She can’t hurt anypony at all, or else…” You suddenly locked up for a moment, you felt your heart wrench at the very thought of Chrysalis losing her life. “Look, it’s simple. Chrysalis will be gone forever if she hurts him or anypony else that isn’t Twilight. That’s what the shackles mean, it’s part of a chaotic contract. Twilight knows that too, and she is making sure to be able to stop Chrysalis so she’ll have to live up to her part of the deal and reform. Chrysalis can’t even win against Twilight, she’s too weak. It’s pretty much a guaranteed victory. It's all I have left to make this work. Please, girls, can we just…” Fuck, dammit, these girls are a real pain.
Applebloom gulps, feeling she may have pushed too hard, especially after hearing that much. “Anon, ahm really sorry, really! Ah just… No, there isn’t no excuse for what I had planned to do. You were bein’ honest, and ah just didn’t believe it. Well that ain’t happenin’ again. I’m behind ya all the way, ya hear?” And just like that, Applebloom was on your side.
“I-I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize how crazy the situation was. I-I always thought you were still just being high and mighty. But I guess I was the one being like that. Anon, I’m really really REALLY sorry. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You’re really cool, you know?” Sweetie Belle said, her eyes watery as she gives you a pout. Ngh, don’t go for it, Anon, she is an asshole. SHE’S A CUTE ASSHOLE! DAMMMMIT!
You sigh, and give in. “I know, it’s ok, all water under the bridge. But let me just say this, you two really need to learn to trust me better. I dunno, I don’t think I’m willing to go through something like this again. But, it’s fine, I’m sure this is the last time. Anyway, my offer still stands. You three want to go? For real?”
Applebloom nodded, feeling reassured and happy that she was forgiven, even if she still felt bad about it. “Ah want to go. I always like makin’ new friends.”
“Yeah, me too! Thanks, Anon, really. You’re a really awesome pony. I guess I have to admit you really matured. Erm, so much that I think we’re the ones who still need a little more maturing to do.” Sweetie Belle said, feeling awkward and nervous, but willing to follow through with her apology.
“Awesome! Alright, Anon, I’m ready too! Let’s do this!” Scootaloo said, ready to go and happy the situation went so much better than she thought it was going to end up being.
“Alright.” You say as you plop on your horn. “Get ready, girls! And don’t blink.” And with that, you all were gone.
When you all reappeared, you could already feel the wind in your mane. It was a rather swift wind too, really fast, like a storm. The sea was under you, coming closer with every second that passed by despite its calming presence. And in the air, the screams of fillies filled all… Wait, why all the screaming? When you finally take notice, you could see that all four of you were falling downwards. Seems you were somewhat off with your aim.
“ANON! HELP! DO SOMETHING!” Sweetie Belle screams out towards you.
“AHHHH! SOMEPONY SAVE US!” Applebloom yelled as she waved her legs in a panic.
Scootaloo was twirling downward as she flapped her wings as hard as she could. She wished she could fly, she wished she could do something to help everyone.
Shit! Ok, ok, don’t panic! All you need to do is catch everyone in some sort of flying device! You slap on your horn and try to concentrate. Just concentrate! All you need is one thing to save everyone, just one thing!
In an instant, some sort of flying vehicle appears. It is a half sphere, open on the top, with a green propeller on the bottom keeping it airborne. The rim along the top is also green while the vehicle itself is pure white. On its ‘face’ was a ponish looking clown face, smiling forward. In essence, you created your own koopa clown car. Not bad. If it was a plane or jet then it either would have crashed anyway, or worse, blown up. And besides, despite its size, it was actually pretty roomy. One by one, you all fell in, and then each of you popped your head out to look around at the clear blue skies and sea below.
“Woah! That was close. What even happened? Why are we over water?” Sweetie Belle said as she took a breath and looked downwards.
“Dunno, A’hm just glad we ain’t falling anymore. Anon, what happened?” Applebloom asked as she leaned back, relieved she was alive.
“Ugh, I just missed my target, that’s all. I wasn’t exactly sure where Tempest was, and I didn’t think about the fact that she was probably on her airship.” You said as you peeked your head out, taking in the sea air before taking a calm breath. “Good thing my horn has unlimited charges today, eh? Woo, that was too close.”
“I’ll say. But what is this thing anyway? And why does it have a creepy face?” Scootaloo said as she leaned over the front side some to look down on the clown car. “Why didn’t you just summon an airship we could use?”
Ugh, even in a near death scenario, someone has to criticize your choices on conjured objects. “It was all I could think of for us all to safely land on. Give me a break, anything else and we might still be falling or it would have crashed. This thing is easy to control and extremely stable.”
“Ok… But that doesn’t explain the creepy clown face.” Scootaloo said, getting more weirded out as she stared at it. She moved her head back as she peeked at it, nervous, she could swear it was blinking.
You roll your eyes and lean back, irritated with her question. “Because, y’know, that’s how it is. Again, chaos, just had a lesson on it. Can we just focus on finding Tempest, please?” No taste, absolutely no taste. Sure it was kind of weird, but it was fast and still cool. Maybe? Bah, you could make it work just as good as any giant turtle dragon.
“Hey!” Applebloom says to catch everyone’s attention. “Check this out. There’s a bunch of lil’ Anons in here. They’re kind of cute.” Applebloom said as she held up one of the little clockwork toys of you. “Look, you can even wind em up!”
“That’s weird.” Sweetie Belle said as she picked one up. “There’s a ton of these in here. Why? Anon, are you trying to merchandise yourself or something?”
“Nah, I don’t think Anon would do that.” Scootaloo said as her attention was also taken by the multitudes of clockwork yous. “Chaos is a ‘in the moment’ type of thing, isn’t it? Besides, holding one of these, I just get this feeling you’re just supposed to throw them at other ponies. I dunno, it just feels right. Hm, does anypony suddenly not like plumbers all of a sudden?”
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle just looked to Scootaloo and shrugged.
“Guess it’s just me. Weird… Oh, hey! What’s that over there?” Scootaloo said as she pointed towards the side of the clown car, noticing an oddly extravagant but not luxurious airship. At first you’d say it looked like a pirate ship, but it actually looked better produced and designed. Aside from the sails and large red balloon above carrying it, it looked like some military ship from way way back in the day. The sides of it were painted green, with golden letters spelling out “Redemption Ark”. Being high above, you could see the deck still looked rather traditional, with set cannons on either side. Weird, while not as big as Tempest’s old ship, it was still pretty big for what must be just her and Grubber. Hm, was that even their ship? It had to be, or else you wouldn’t be so far out at sea. She must have traded her old ship for this one, that is the only way to make sense out of it. “It’s a ship! Anon, is that where Tempest is?”
“Its gotta be, considering my teleport should have brought us at least somewhere nearby. Alright girls, hold on, I’m gonna teleport us right onto the deck.” You say as you prepare your horn.
“Wait!” They all call out to you.
You wince, then look back at them. “What’s wrong?”
“Ah mean, just, erm, we ain’t gonna end up fallin’ again, are we?” Applebloom asked, certainly not ready for another scare like that.
“What? No. I can see the ship, so teleporting to it will be easy.” You say to reassure her.
“Wait! Before we go, I have one more question.” Sweetie Belle shouts out, trying to get your attention.
“What is it?” You ask her. What could she possibly want to ask now?
“It’s about these toys that look like you. I remember the lesson, and considering what Scootaloo said, does that mean you just have a really high opinion of yourself?” Sweetie asked as she moved one of the little mechanized dolls of you along her hooves.
“Is there a problem with having a high opinion of myself? I’d like to think I’m pretty…” You stop yourself. Goddammit, she better not say those damn words. “Sweetie! Geez! Get off it, alright?! Do you still have a problem with me?! Didn’t you just apologize for calling me high and mighty?!”
Sweetie flinched, dropping the toy. Then her ears drooped and folded back as she frowned towards you. “I-I wasn’t going to say that. I just wanted to say that I think it’s pretty neat. I-I said I was sorry, and that’s because I really am. And that’s why I’m really amazed by these things. You’re really strong, like, here.” Sweetie Belle says as she brings her hoof to her chest. “It seems like no matter what, no matter what anypony says, you always have all this self confidence. It isn’t being high and mighty, it’s having a strong heart.”
Wut? Wait, is that a good compliment? Holy shit, it was. “O-oh, well, y’know. I gotta stay confident a lot of the time. I got a lot on my plate, so I can’t just give up and let everypony down.”
“And that’s what I’ve been saying about Anon. Sure, sometimes he can seem mean or thoughtless, but he has a big heart. He always does his best to help his friends, even if they’re evil friends! Erm, I mean, hopefully not 'evil forever' kind of friends.” Scootaloo said, becoming a little sheepish as she mentions that last part.
“That’s true. And we all have our good and bad times. The important thing is to stick together through thick and thin. Ain’t that right, Anon?” Applebloom says with a cheer.
Oh god, they are so damn childish. It is both endearing and embarrassing at this point. Ugh, this may have been a bad idea after all. Nothing against them, but this over cheeriness and high energy isn’t something you really need on this visit, considering how Tempest herself is. And yet you can’t just tell them to chill out either, would ruin their positive moods they got on right now. Although, it wasn’t like their positivity wasn’t wanted either. It did feel pretty good to be cheered for, to be liked more. Hm, you know? This wasn’t bad, it’s never bad, why do you even question it? Then again, maybe it is just the back and forth of how these three perceive you that doesn’t make it feel as good as it should. For everyone else, you enjoy their affection and love. Hell, among the three, Scootaloo is pretty damned great, amazing at times. But the other two? Bah, eh, forget it, Anon. Things won’t truly change, yeah, but these are also good hearted girls. Just stop thinking about it and accept the fact they like you right now. “Right, that is right. We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders after all.”
“Yeah! Cutie Mark Crusaders forever!” The other three cheer as they grab onto each other, and you, for a huge hug. Nothing crushing this time, just… Warming.
“Yeah, forever! Alright girls! Let’s go say hi to my friend Tempest!” You say as you use your horn to teleport to the airship.
When you all appear, you found yourselves at the helm of the ship. All of you could hear a quiet humming coming near the steering wheel. When you all looked towards it, you could see the back of a bipedal cat in a red coat, hands on the steering wheel, his foot tapping to his own tune. He also had on what seemed to be a traditional captain’s hat. Capper? Was that him? You didn’t know if it was him, but how many bipedal cats did you know? Why was he on this ship? Did you make a mistake somehow?
“Anon, who is that?” Scootaloo whispered to you as the other girls took a step behind you, not knowing what to make of the scene.
“I think I know him. Give me a second.” You say as you begin to step forward. You call out to the cat captain as you move right behind him. “Capper? Hey, Capper! Is thatAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” And suddenly, the cat quickly turns around and stabs a fork into your forehead, causing you to fall over and wave your legs about screaming.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The girls screamed as they grabbed each other in fear.
“AHHH!” Said the cat as he jumped back, realizing what he had done. “Anon?! Anon! Woah! How did you?! Oh man, sorry, thought you were Grubber. How did you-Gah!” It was indeed Capper, who, as he tried to lean down to grab the fork, had to take a step back due to your constant flailing. “Hey, c’mon now, it isn’t that bad. I can still see the edges of that fork. Let’s see…” Capper leans down and waits a moment for you to lean to the other side.
“YOU STABBED ME! HOLY CRAP! YOU FREAKIN' STABBED ME! I’M BLEEDING! MY BRAIN! I’M GONNA-Wha?! Huh?” You were just continuing to flop and flail like a fish. But the moment you were in a position for Capper to properly grab you, he did, held you in place, and pulled the fork out of your head.
“Actually, that’s just raspberry filling.” Capper said as he brought the fork to his lips, took a lick, cringed, and placed the fork near a small plate with cake on it by the steering wheel. “You gotta relax, Anon, gotta keep your cool. Don’t complain either, you were the one sneaking up on me. Shouldn’t do that, you never know what will happen if you’re caught.”
“Sheesh…” You say as you tap at your forehead. No blood, no holes, barely must have gone in. Your skull really was impenetrable. You couldn’t help but continue to tap on it though, still kinda stung. “Sure, ok, I get it. But why a fork?! Why attack me at all?!”
“All I had on me, Anon. Had to make due. As for your second question, well, what do you think? I’m a cat, always on alert. But if you want the truth, Grubber had this whole thing saying that my reflexes were nothing like Tempest’s, says her's is like a cat. Now, it doesn’t bother me whether it is or not. But I am a cat, we invented the word ‘reflexes’. So basically I challenged him to sneak up on me whenever. But as long as I manage to catch him, I get all the free cake and cat nip I want. He’s a pretty good baker, so I couldn’t pass up the chance.” Capper says with a shrug, his smile ever so slick. And that’s when he noticed them, three fillies who were just staring at the two of you. He took his hat, extended it sideways, and took a polite bow. “But where are my manners? Welcome aboard the crazy cool ship, the Redemption Ark. Named it myself, haha.”
"Wow!" The three fillies said as they nearly trampled over you to meet Capper. G-geez! So much for all that respect. Dammit, already getting shown up by a freaking cat.
Capper had to take a few steps back as the crusaders were excitingly hopping about him, wanting to ask questions. Christ, does the guy really exude that much charm? He must, considering how close he was to selling off Twilight and the others before… Ooohhh, maybe that’s why he named the ship the ‘Redemption Ark’, yeah, makes sense now.
“Woah, woah, hey now, let’s all calm down. Wow…” Capper said with a cool chuckle. “Quite a little fan club you got here, Anon. They all your marefriends or something?”
“What?!” The three of them exclaimed, making them stop in their enthused hopping about.
Scootaloo stuck her tongue out in disgust. “That is totally not what we are. We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And er…” Suddenly, to Scootaloo, things didn’t seem too cool anymore after that comment. “Why did we get excited again?”
“Well, look at this ship! Look where we are! We’re like Cutie Mark Pirates now!” Sweetie said with an excited hop as she shrugs off Capper’s comment. “And Anon said this guy is Capper. My sister, Rarity, said Capper was ‘high class’ and ‘debonair’. She even called him cool, and she never really says that about anypony… Well, she doesn’t use the word ‘cool’ anyway. I wanted to ask him if he’s been on any exciting or romantic adventures! Like in those books.”
“Sister? Rarity? Oooooh.” Capper said as he brought a paw to his face and chuckled. “Why didn’t I see it before? I should have known you were Rarity’s sister. But maybe I just thought it was impossible for two ponies to exist who look so perfect.” Capper said with a wink.
CAPPER, YOU FOOL! THESE ARE IMPRESSIONAB- Too late, Sweetie Belle just started to melt as she blushed in surprise. She just looked up at him, soft and shaky in her voice, and said. “You think I look p-p-perfect?”
“‘Course I do. Though, that’s not to say your two friends here aren’t perfect in their own way either. Let’s see…” Capper said as he tapped his foot on the ground, rubbing his chin with his paw hand before pointing at Applebloom. “You have a voice similar to Applejack, so you gotta be her sister. I better be careful around you then, you have to be strong enough to tear this entire ship to shreds. I don’t got to worry about that, right?” Capper said, with a cool tone as he falsely complimented Applebloom’s physical strength.
“E-erm… No, no.” Applebloom said as she blushed, looking shyly away. “I wouldn’t say ahm that strong though. Erm, but I am pretty strong. A-ahm Applebloom.”
Capper snapped his fingers and pointed at her with a gentle smile. “Good to meet you, Applebloom. Ah, then there’s you. You look faster than any lightning bolt. Let me guess, you’re Rainbow Dash’s sister, am I right?” He asked as he looked over to Scootaloo.
“S-sister?” Oh god, even Scootaloo was blushing. Holy shit, what was this guy doing?! “Well… No, but I am a really good friend of hers! And I’m her biggest fan!”
“Well, doesn’t look like there’s much difference to what I thought then.” Capper said with another wink. And just like that, even Scootaloo looked like she was suddenly into him.
Ok, this had to stop. You couldn’t just pull him aside either, as the girls would probably just fucking snap your goddamn neck for berating their new love interest. So, you do what you do best. You slap your horn on your head and place Capper and yourself in a pocket dimension, the same one that made everything blue, with time stopping. “Ok, oooook, you’re making me sick now. What are you doing, Capper?”
“Uh, I should ask you the same question.” Capper said as he looked around, leaned down towards the girls, and waved his paw in front of them. He got no response from the girls, as they seemed frozen in place. “But I’m gonna take a guess this has got to do with your magic. Alright, that’s cool, so what’s on your mind? You already seemed bothered about something. You’re not jealous, are you?” Wow, he was taking this all without looking the least bit scared or confused. He was probably only calm because you yourself weren’t having a freakout at the sudden changes around you.
“Jealous?!” Holy fuck, where did he get off?! You weren’t jealous, you just didn’t need the girls falling for or idolizing the guy on YOUR visit with YOUR friend… Or friends in this case, since Capper was here for some reason. “I’m not jealous! I just don’t need you putting on the smooth moves on my friends. Look at them, Capper, they're blushing! You made them blush! Do you know what that means?!”
Capper just starts laughing, putting his hands to his knees before walking over to you and mussing your mane with his hand. “Anon, is that what’s gotten you all shook up? Well, I guess I know how you are on your offtime, that’s for sure. Relax, I’m just putting on the ole’ ‘Capper’ charm and making them feel more comfortable. I don’t know if you noticed or anything like that, but those three looked like they just fell out of the sky, and I’m not talkin’ about in a romantic sense.”
Did he just imply that you were stressed and uptight?! No, no, he just didn’t seem to understand the situation he just fucking created! “Capper, these three, especially Sweetie Belle, are highly impressionable. They are way too young to be falling in love with you, and I highly doubt you know how to handle them.”
“Just because I’m a cat doesn’t mean I don’t understand puppy love. Reeeeelax.” Capper said as he reached over and gave the shoulders of your forelegs an admittingly gentle and relaxing rub. “You need to chill out, Anon, I know the score. Just watch, everything is going to be alright.” He said sweetly as he turned around, took a few steps back, and looked back at you with a sleazy grin. “Still say you’re jealous though.”
“I’m not jealous!” You say with an aggravated hop. “I have a marefriend and she thinks I’m the best! Got it?! I’m adorable, strong, magical, cool, amazing, and everything else! If I wanted to, I could have a mountain of mares piling onto me whenever I wanted! Oh, and I can be charming too. I have charm coming out the wazoo!”
“I bet you do. Makes no difference to me anyway, Anon, I just call it the way I see it. If you say I’m wrong, I’m wrong. I don’t think it's worth you losing your cool like that just because I got three fillies into me so hard they pretty much ran right on top of you to come get some of me.” Capper said, his voice so smooth you couldn’t even tell if he was being arrogant. Still, what the hell?!
“Are you messing with me?! Are you trying to piss me off or something?!” Oh, he was really asking for it now. You were getting so mad that your face actually started to turn red with growing fury.
But Capper just chuckled, pointed his fingers towards you, and nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m doing, Anon. Just poking some fun, having a laugh. So relax, ok? Play it cool. Like I said, I know the score, but I’m still me, I’m always going to do what I do. As for them, they still gotta meet Tempest and Grubber too. I promise whatever feelings they got will blow over by the end of the day. Trust me. But you gotta relax, no one likes a party pooper.”
G-guh! S-so he was just fucking with you. Fuck, you only really knew him from your adventure, you didn’t know how things would go on a more casual setting. He, uh, he really got you good. Your anger quickly subsides as you just slump to the floor. “Geez, I’m not that uptight, am I?”
“Nah, you’re just out of your element. Gotta say though, pretty nice of you to show up. Not even for my sake.” Capper said as he went over to the steering wheel to give it a tap. Nope, won’t even budge.
Not for his sake? Wait, was something wrong? “What do you mean? What happened?”
“Just a little something with Tempest. I don’t know if you know this, Anon, but this gig we’re on is pretty much how I came up with the name of this ship. We’re travelling the world, letting everyone who was under the Storm King know that he’s gone for good. But, well, y’know how it is with these type of things.” Capper said as he removed his captain’s hat and looked upon the frozen horizon, his cool demeanor finally breaking into a melancholic one. “Some places recognize who she is, call her out, and sometimes, it even gets ugly. Tempest is a tough mare, she just powers on through as is, but even I can tell she’s hurting bad. I’m sure you can already guess what I’m going to say next, right?” Capper said as he looked over to you.
Yeah, if she was down, then that meant you, and everyone, had to cheer her up. “I do, and you can bet your butt I’m going to cheer her up. Tch, people just don't understand who she is. But I do, and I ain't gonna let her down.” Should have known that was going to happen though, it seemed obvious enough. Damn, if you hadn't been so focused on Chrysalis, maybe you'd have thought to come here sooner.
“Good to hear, Anon, good to hear. But er…” Capper’s ears began to fold as his eyes began to dart around. “Now, this time I don’t mean it in any mean way. But what’s with the shackles? You alright?”
Shit! The shackles! Goddamn these things! Mmmm, no, this was not the time to just dump this kind of information. You didn’t need things to get heavy. “Erm, just don’t ask, Capper. Seriously, it’s just something I gotta deal with back home.
“Hear you loud and clear, Anon. I’ll just pretend they aren’t there. Speaking of there, or here really. You mind getting us back to not here? Things are feeling a little spooky now.” Capper said as he began to feel uneasy about the unsettling aura of the pocket dimension.
“Right, right. Ok, let me get that fixed up.” You say as you use your magic to make everything normal again. “There we go.”
“Mr.Capper.” Sweetie said, continuing on as if nothing happened. “Can I ask you a…” But she blinked when she noticed he wasn’t in front of her anymore, instead a few ways off, as if he had just instantly teleported. “What the? Did you just warp or something?”
“Nope, I’m just your typical cool cat. So smooth sometimes I just slip on through without anyone noticing.” Capper said, amused by the fact that girls looked rather confused by his sudden movement, playing it off as if he himself made an unknown slide.
“Wow, ah didn’t even know cats could do that.” Applebloom said, just utterly amazed by it. She then looks to Sweetie and asks. “Can Opal do that?”
“I, er, don’t know. Maybe? Eh, probably not, she’s not really the ‘smooth’ type.” Sweetie answered. While sure about her answer, she did have to wonder if Opal could teleport in some way. "Could always try putting sunglasses on her and see what happens. Maybe it'll make her cool enough."
"Ah guess that could work." Applebloom nodded.
Scootaloo just walked back to your side, her eyes fixated on Capper. “Anon, why didn’t you tell us about Capper? He’s so cool!”
You were about to be a dick and say ‘But you just met him!’. But just like Capper said, you had to play it cool. Relax, Anon, you got this handled. “Well, I didn’t realize he’d be on the ship. But Capper is pretty cool. He pretty much helped me out back when the Storm King was invading. If I knew he was here, I’d have mentioned it.”
“Oh. Well, I’m seeing what you meant about your friends and life and stuff. I really didn’t think you had friends like this outside Equestria. I just thought it was Chrysalis, really. You’re awesome!” Scootaloo said as she finally looked at you, smiling.
“Huh? Erm, what makes you say that?” Now you were being complimented? And did she really think you were just all about Chrysalis? No, that wasn’t it. It’s just, well, she’s a big focus.
“Because, every time, just about every time, we always find out about something new and amazing that you’re doing. Or being able to meet your cool friends, like Capper, is amazing too! I really don’t get why anypony gives you a hard time sometimes. It’s like, I don’t know, but it’s like even Twilight has a problem with you sometimes, and I just don’t get why anymore. I mean, ok, nopony really likes Chrysalis… I… Er… Well…” Scootaloo began to feel a little nervous. She also didn’t like Chrysalis, and she knew it would be rude to say something bad about her now, so she tried to just push the conversation along. “Anyway, what I want to say is that no matter what, even with this whole Chrysalis thing, I got your back so much that I guess I can even have hers. You’ve changed, Anon, I see it. You’re more honest, and nice, and cool. And, well, we hang out so much, I really do feel like your partner sometimes. We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, we’re friends, and we’re partners, all in one! And I really do mean it, one hundred percent, that I got your back, no matter what happens! And I hope you got mine, because I trust you, Anon.”
Oh, that really is heavy. Though it wasn’t anything you haven’t heard before. It warmed your heart, and pretty much solidified that if Scootaloo was willing to go as far as accept Chrysalis, then it meant that she probably, and just probably, had your best interests in mind better than the other two, and would help you without the sass you’d get from them as well. Essentially it meant that if you needed Scootaloo to be proactive in your own pursuit to reform Chrysalis, you felt she would oblige you. “Of course, Scoots. We’re friends, and you can bet that if anypony tried anything on you, I’d freakin’ tear them to pieces.”
“Literal pieces?” Scootaloo asked, a little mortified, but curious. The answer she got from you was a simple nod, which made her flinch and feel safe at the same time. “Ah, oh, thanks. I uh, I just don’t want to see it happen when you actually do it. Or maybe you could maybe not do that and just do something less scary?”
You got what she meant. You could be a smartass and just suggest slicing off the limbs, but you knew she still wouldn’t go for it, or it'd just make her find you creepy. “Ok, ok, I’ll just rough em up a little. That fine?”
Scootaloo nods. “Yeah, just enough to teach them to not mess with us.” Scootaloo then began to trail her eyes away a tad as she noticed the steering wheel. She had an itch, and it was starting to fester quickly. “Erm, Anon, do you think Capper would let me try steering the ship for a little bit?”
You shrug. “I mean you can just… Oh no.” You slap your forehead as you noticed Sweetie Belle was just staring at Capper with half lidded eyes, sighing gently as Capper himself was explaining to her and Applebloom about the ship itself.
“What?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head in confusion as she looked to where you were staring. And yeah, she saw it too as she gagged. “Oh come on! I know that look. Did she seriously fall for Capper?! I-I mean, he’s ok, but he’s no Rainbow Dash.” She said with a slight blush.
“Yeah, I don’t think she cares about Rainbow Dash in the way you’re thinking.” Ogh, you knew it, you just knew it. But her, of all ponies, her?! How did she fall for him that easily?! That is some deep shit you knew wouldn't be gone by the end of the day.
“...So Tempest pretty much made me captain since I managed to get such a good trade. I don’t want to brag but, y’know, it’s me. The guy who gave us this ship was willing to make the trade as long as Tempest’s was a real deal command ship from the Storm King.” Capper said with a shrug. “Dunno what’s so important about making a museum of a bunch of fallen kingdoms, but I wasn’t gonna argue it neither. Got the ship, the renovations, and all the doodads without needing anything extra. Pretty sweet deal, but of course being a captain ain’t sunshine and lollipops. Gotta keep my eyes out for any of the Storm King’s remnant forces. They ain’t no big though, just a bunch of thugs who didn’t get the memo on their king. And since they're so split up, it ain’t too hard just clearing em out. Well, Tempest usually does that part mostly, but I’m not bad with a cannon, specially at night. Y’know, being nocturnal and all.” Capper said as he tugged gently at his coat, smirking, before walking over to his steering wheel and giving it a gentle pet. “Yup, the Redemption Ark is my baby at this point. And my home too, since I don’t really have a reason to go back to Klugetown right now.”
Sweetie just sighed, looking at him longingly as she whispered. “He’s so cool, and romantic.”
But Applebloom, she did have a question related to the name of the ship itself. She found the name a little odd, and wanted to find out its meaning. “But Mr. Capper, why is it called the Redemption Ark? You mentioned what ya’ll are doin’, going around and tellin’ everypony they ain’t under the Storm King no more. So. did you name it that because of Tempest? Or do ya mean something else?”
Capper flinched for a moment on that question. But he was quick to catch his cool as he did a quick point towards Applebloom, winking at her. “Good question, little lady, good question. It’s a little hard to reminisce about, but the past is the past. See, it isn’t just about Tempest, it’s about everyone who did some bad things, and wants to make amends.”
Sweetie Belle suddenly broke from her trance, as she realized what he meant. “Do you mean what happened when you first met my sister and her friends? She told me about that. I-I don’t think it was that bad… Well, I mean, I don’t think it makes you that bad if you were sorry.”
Capper grimaced, then hunched over as he felt overwhelmed by his past sins. His cool demeanor had finally been broken. He just takes the wheel and looks forward, carefully guiding the ship as he spoke. “Oh, I was bad, plenty bad. I stole, I made bad deals, tricked anyone I could use, and well, when it comes to your sisters and their friends, tried to sell them off. Always felt I had a good excuse: 'Times were tough', 'no one could be trusted', 'everyone was out for themselves'. Y’know, the excuses that don’t mean a thing. Then they showed up, and showed this cat the magic of friendship.” Capper then let out a chuckle as he looked over to you. “Then I met Anon. Wasn’t the best of times when I did meet him, but we became friends real quick, something I didn't mind considering the things he was saying to me before that happened. I don’t know if you girls know this about him, don’t know if he’s ever shown that side of himself, but the kinds of threats he makes are the kind he can make into a reality.” Capper said, his legs buckling just a tad as he felt his butt tighten. “And I am really glad I became his friend when I did, because one of his threats was something not meant for kitten ears.”
“Anon? That scary? Are you sure? What did he say he’d do to you?” Scootaloo asked, as she never thought of you being THAT scary. Especially enough to scare someone like Capper.
“Lets just say-” But before Capper could say it, you decide to cut him off and just lay it down. Heh, scary eh? Well, you did want to let them all know that you could be as badass and scary as you are nice. Capper's words gave you the idea that despite them being your friends, you could use a little of that notoriety street cred with them as well. Specially with Sweetie Belle, who you felt adding a little fear might make her think twice if she ever decides to insult you again.
“I said I’d shove whatever I thought he was going to be paid with through his mouth and out his butt. And I was serious too.” You give everyone a dark and foreboding glare. “Deadly serious. And you all know I can do it too.”
Everyone flinched. Haha! They flinched, they looked at you with horror, they actually stepped back.
Capper gulped. “Yeah, that was it. Er, not really what I’d say is appropriate to say right now. But yeah, that is really it.” But then, suddenly it just dawned on him. He himself never actually got a chance to see how the Storm King was defeated. Even more so, he wondered if you had done anything to him after he was beat. Capper, just remembering your fury from his first meeting with you, couldn’t shake the feeling that you must have done something to the Storm King after all the threats he had heard about. “Though, that got me thinking. What happened to the Storm King after he got turned to stone? If I remember, he just kind of disappeared.”
“I er…” Shit! Well, hold on, no one needed to know about the Storm Ravager, especially since you fucking killed him. “I hung his head on my wall. His stone head that is. Had to do something with it after it fell to the ground and shattered.”
“Took it as a trophy, huh? Sounds like you, I guess” Capper said with a shrug, surprised that you seemingly went that easy on him considering what you were capable of. He then looked to Scootaloo. He could tell she wanted to ask him something big. How could he tell? Because he just could, he had a thing for reading people. So he just pointed to Scootaloo and called to her. “But hey, let's get back to the questions. Well, actually, how about just one more?”
“One more?! But, but, I had so much more to ask!” Sweetie Belle whined. Oh yeah, she had all sorts of questions for him. And knowing she may have just lost her chance to ask him more personal questions just shattered her heart.
“I know, I know, and you can still ask them. But we do have two more passengers on the ship who I know wouldn’t mind a hello. It's why you all came here originally, right? As for that question, I’m gonna let her have a shot. In fact.” Capper noticed Scootaloo getting more excited as he pointed to her, and he noticed her eyes darting towards the steering wheel, he knew what she wanted. “Your question is going to be ‘Mr.Capper, can I steer the ship?’. Well of course you can, the skies belong to everyone, and everyone deserves a chance to fly.” He said with a wink
Scootaloo was blown away. She ran over to the wheel, then had a double take as she looked back at him, realizing she was answered without saying her question herself. “Wait, how did you know I was even going to ask that? Are you psychic?”
Capper shook his head, then used both his hands to point to himself as he gave her a grin. “Nah, I just have a thing for knowing what others want. And you want to fly. All I ask is that you make all your moves smooth and gentle. Not really afraid of hitting anything since, well…” Capper looked around at the empty skies and chuckled. “Ain’t nothing to hit. But no reason to rock the boat either”
“Yeah! Girls, look!” Scootaloo said as she went to steer the ship. “I’m a real airship captain! I’m flying the ship for real!”
“Ah! Ah! You ain’t a captain.” Capper said as he walked over to her.
“O-oh, erm, well, I mea-Huh?” Scootaloo suddenly went silent when Capper took his captain’s hat and carefully placed it on her head, adjusting it enough so it didn’t sink down and cover her eyes.
“Now you’re a captain.” Capper said before he saluted and gave himself a serious tone. “By your command!”
Scootaloo choked up a little, and began to cry as she gave Capper a deep hug. “T-thank you.”
“Hey, hey, no problem.” Capper said as he leaned down, to give her a more proper hug. He wasn't expecting her reaction to be so strong, but he liked it, he liked that he could make a difference in her life. “No thanks needed. I just want you to enjoy yourself.”
“I-I will, thank you, Mr. Capper!” Scootaloo said with a nod, as she took the wheel once more and began to steer, cheering as she did so. While she did her best to be gentle, she was making turns a little tighter than Capper expected, but not hard enough for him to tell her to stop.
Scootaloo, heh, she was happy to fly in anyway possible. You weren’t even jealous of Capper making her so happy, you were just happy to see her so ecstatic flying the ship. Capper excused himself as he went to walk to the other side of the ship, to the double doors on the other side that would go below deck to where Tempest and Grubber is. But as he passed by you, you stop him for a moment, and nod towards him. “Hey, Capper. Thanks man, for making Scootaloo happy like that. But how did you really know she wanted to steer the ship?”
Capper stopped, smiled gently at you, and whispered. “I saw her looking at the wheel, and I also noticed the wings. She can’t fly, can she?” He said as his expression slowly went to a frown.
“Yeah… I… really hope she can one day, though. That’s why I really appreciate what you did right now.” You tell him, looking at Scootaloo as she was having the time of her life.
“It’s what I do, Anon. And about her flying, don’t be too worried about it. There’s always more than one way to fly, if you know what I’m saying.” Capper said
“Yeah, I know. Though, I hope it’s still the traditional way.” You tell him. You really hope she can fly one day. Seems bullshit she’d be a cripple forever.
“I’m sure it’ll happen in some way. And even if it doesn’t, looks like you can just get her an airship like this one and she’ll be fine.” Capper chuckled before walking off. “Gonna go get Tempest now. So you better be ready to cheer her up.”
And so the four of you waited. Applebloom was happily anxious to meet Tempest, Scootaloo was a little focused steering the ship, and Sweetie Belle just sighed to herself in disappointment. “I wish I was older.”
Your ears perked up to that. Oh, christ, Sweetie Belle, when did you become a hopeless romantic? She reads too many fantasy books, geez. She also didn’t seem to realize she was heard as Applebloom just looks over to her and asks. “Why? Ah mean, it don’t sound too bad since ya can do whatever ya want, but why now?”
“Huh?!” Sweetie Belle said as she shook her head, taking herself out of her puppy love filled stupor. “Oh, erm, that’s why! I just kind of just felt like wanting to do things our sisters would tell us that we’re too young to do, that's all.” She said with a gulp.
You could just let this one go. But when would you get any other chance to call her out on some super obvious bullshit like that? “You mean so you’d be old enough to get Capper as a coltfriend, right?”
Sweetie Belle turned deep red as her eyes darted over to you in surprise. Hell, she nearly fell backwards from shock as she angrily shouted. “No! That isn’t it!”
“Wha?!” Applebloom, surprised by Sweetie Belle’s reaction, and realizing she did have some of that kind of feeling in herself for him, used this opportunity to question her while trying to make it less obvious that she had said feelings, especially since she’d have competition if she acted on whatever feelings she actually had. “It's true?! How could ya fall for him so fast?! We just met him!”
“GYAH! I-I, erm, I didn’t really fall for him. I just like the way, I MEAN! Hey!” And that’s when Sweetie noticed Applebloom was blushing every so slightly, especially noticeable through her apple yellow coat. “You fell for him too! Didn’t you!?”
“What?! I didn’t!” Applebloom said with a gulp as her face turned a deeper red. “Don’t know what yer talkin’ about! Like I said, we just met him. That ain’t no time to fall for anypony.”
Scootaloo stopped steering the ship when she heard the commotion, looking over to the pair, confused. “Wait, didn’t you both fall for Anon on like, the first or second day you met him? Seems like plenty of time to me.” Scootaloo said, surprised by their feelings, and she herself feeling like she can tease them a little over it as she found it pretty damn funny. “Man, both of you better not fight over him. Heck, maybe I can ask Rarity to just make two really good looking colt dolls for you both to snuggle with tonight. Sound good? Because I doubt both of you are his type.” Scootaloo said with a snicker
“Shut up!” Both Applebloom and Sweetie shouted.
“Yikes, ok, woah. Just joking.” Scootaloo said as she rolled her eyes and went back to steering the ship.
And you? You just started laughing your goddamn ass off. Holy shit, Scootaloo, that was awesome!
Sweetie Belle, noticing you erupting in laughter, puffed up her cheeks in anger as she stomped over to you. “And what’s so funny?!”
“You are, you both are! Like, come on, you both walked right into that one. It was great!” You said, still laughing.
“Anon! Don’t be mean! You sayin’ you never fell for somepony you just met? Ah mean, what about Diamond? You just… Oh wait, ya didn’t. Er, that was me and her kinda fightin’ over yo-Ok, ahm just gonna keep quiet now.” Applebloom said as she backed off, blushing a sheepish and embarrassed smile as she turned away and whistled.
“Hmph, mnnnn. Fine.” Sweetie Belle said as she rolled her eyes, admitting defeat. “I guess we sort of did. B-but, y’know, how could you not think he was great?! He’s so cool, and so smooth! He’s almost like a prince, but not. I’m surprised he doesn’t have a marefriend at all. Or, catfriend? I think maybe that’s what they’d be called.”
Your laughter slowed to a snicker as you took the victory in. Oh baby… It is a damned good thing they will never call out your weakness to cute mares. Or hippogriffs, or dragons, or changelings, or other stuff. “I guess. Anyway, don’t worry about that love stuff right now, Sweetie Belle. I mean, really, you shouldn’t. Because at this rate, I bet if Chrysalis was a stallion bug, you’d have fallen super hard for her. You gotta relax.”
“What?! No way! Why would you even say that! That would never EVER happen!” Sweetie Belle said, once again taken aback.
You just shrug. “I dunno. I admit I did feel temptation once or twice for her myself, but nothing major. So, given my masterful willpower, I could only deduce that a male version of her would have had you head over hooves for her. Y’know, if she was a him.”
“No way! Never ever ever ever! That’s like saying that I would have a crush on Scrappy then, since he is already a boy changeling!” Sweetie Belle shouts out, trying to retort your deduction.
“Wait.” Applebloom said, something worryingly clicking off in her head. “Ya don’t, right? Because he’s like family and all.”
“No! No! NO! I don’t! Ogh!” Sweetie Belle said as she slumped downwards onto her belly. “Ok, I get it. Just don’t compare me to my sister, ok? She always seems to fall for any good looking stallion, and I know I’m better than that.”
You somehow doubted that, but you had enough of a good laugh to let it go now. Besides, you could always use this moment for ammo later in case anything related comes up. “I won’t, I won’t. Heh, alrighty. Hmm, Capper has been down there for awhile, wonder what’s taking him.”
“I wonder how big this ship really is.” Scootaloo said as she decides to try flying in a circle “I noticed the hull looked pretty huge. I don’t really think this ship was meant to have such a small crew.”
“Maybe, but looks like they’ve been managing just fine by themselves. If it was a problem, then ah would think it would have come up by now.” Applebloom comments, feeling it didn’t seem to matter the crew size as long as they were still able to fly the ship.
“Yeah! Capper seems to know what he’s doing, and he did say he and Tempest have run into fights too. And yet, look, see? Not a hint of damage on the deck at all, none on the ship, and nopony is hurt. I think they got it just fine.” Sweetie said, ending her words in a long heartfelt sigh. Hoo boy, she really is going to have to get over that crush.
Suddenly, the doors on the opposite end of the ship burst open. Was it Tempest? Capper? No, what it was was a speedy little hedgehog rushing over to you, wearing an apron with Tempest’s face crudely drawn on it. It was Grubber, and he looked pissed. The moment he reached you, he came to a dead stop and pointed directly at you as he narrowed his eyes and said. “Yoooooooooooooooooooooou.”
Wut? “U-uhh, yeah? Heya Gr-” But he cuts you off as he pokes at your nose and hops backwards.
He was still pointing, looking at you with accusing eyes. “So, you came for a rematch. And of course, you came right before dinner. What, did you think you could have your rematch with Tempest and win just because she was hungry? Well, you better listen close, because there ain’t no way you are EVER gonna beat her. That’s right, you heard me, she’s gonna rip you apart and use what’s left of you to line her carpet.” Grubber said, exaggerating his movements along with his speech. He then notices the CMC, and groans. “Wow, you even brought cheerleaders? I mean, that’s cool. Anyone who is everyone should get to see Tempest in action. Y’know, in beating you down.”
“Hey! We ain’t his cheerleaders! We’re his friends! And also, we didn’t come here for a fight! What’s wrong with you? Why would you think we came lookin to fight?” Applebloom asked as she took a single stomping step towards Grubber to try to intimidate him a bit, to get him to back off from you.
But Grubber would not be moved as he looked over at Applebloom, tapping his foot impatiently as he pointed over to you. “Because why else would he be here? What, do you not know how bad a thrashing he got from Tempest the first time? Because it was a thrashing. It was so much a thrashing that you could sell tickets because of how good a thrashing it was. But I guess you really don’t know. That’s a shame, because the fight wasn’t even epic. He was toast the moment he put on that ugly horn.” Grubber said, nodding to himself as he crossed his arms.
“I didn’t come here for a fight! Geez, relax! What, I can’t just come over and say hi?” Like holy fuck, why would he even be hung up about you having a rematch?
Grubber stopped for a moment, but still looked at you with accusing eyes as he backed off. “I guess you can do that, if you really mean it. Though that just means that you really still can’t handle Tempest. Doesn’t surprise me, she is the best of the best of the very very best.” Grubber said with a nod.
“Geez.” Sweetie Belle said as she looked back at you. “How badly did she beat you up? Why did you two even fight?”
“Well, er.” Interested in what’s going on, Scootaloo walks away from the wheel to join you and her friends. “Anon has told me that they fought because they were enemies when they met. Y’know, when they all invaded Equestria? But, uh, was it really that bad? I was under the impression the fight was pretty even, up until Anon lost.”
Ngh! Goddammit! Now you were looking like a fool! Hell, the whole reason you did the training with Rainbow Dash was to better your body and your skills because of what happened with the whole adventure. But nobody needed to know that you got your ass fucking kicked on the word 'go'. “W-well, I guess maybe it was a little bad for me. Er, I mean, she did beat me. It was why I took on Rainbow’s training and all. Well, that and because of my fight with the Storm King. B-besides, if I remember correctly, didn’t my super spell knock you out?”
“Puh, for like a second.” Grubber said as he swatted his arm forward and then down. “I still managed to keep an eye open. You were all like ‘pewpewpewpewpew’ and then Tempest was all like ‘woosh!’! Next thing you know, this guy here was nearly turned to stone. I guess he got lucky with some other magic or whatever, but she still won, no contest.”
“Wow, Anon, is that true?” Applebloom said as she and the others look towards you.
“Er… Well, I mean-” But as you struggled to try to put the situation lightly. Tempest, followed by Capper, stepped through the doors on the other side of the ship and began to approach. “Oh, will you look at that. She’s here!”
“Oh! Alright!” Applebloom says as her and the girls’ attention shift to Tempest. Yes, crisis averted. “Ah could just ask her how it happened. Since it sounds like she knows the most.” Goddammmmmiiiiiittttt!
“Grubber.” Tempest calls out to him, though in a calm and yet commanding manner. Tempest herself, while sporting her usual mane style, had replaced her storm armor with a cool purple cloak that flowed in the winds high above the sea. It made her look like a cool anime wanderer of sorts. “You didn’t rush all the way up here to harass Anon and his friends, did you?”
“What? Me? Nah, just him.” Grubber said with a snicker as he points over to you. “His friends are fine. They were just curious on how you beat Anon’s butt the first time.”
“Ugh…” Tempest said with a groan. “I’d rather you didn’t just go blurting things like that out. That was a different time, when we were doing things that no one should have been doing.”
“Awww…” Grubber said, as he hunched over in disappointment. “I know we’re not proud of it. But that had to be the coolest thing you ever did. You beat three legendary princesses, made the other run away, and then beat up this dope!” Grubber said as he pointed at you. “You were unstoppable!”
“Hey! I’m not a dope! I made one mistake, geez, I didn’t know she was that fast! If I had unlimited magic, I would have won for sure!” You bark back at Grubber. You would have! Hell, a pink laser assault is normally enough to crush anyone anyway. Tempest just so happened to be skilled enough to dodge it all.
And right there, you and Grubber began to bicker about the fight. As that went on, Tempest just brought a hoof to her face and shook her head. Not only did she hate being reminded about her time being a commander for the Storm King, but this argument she was witnessing was already dumb as shit. “I should have stayed below deck until they both got this out of their system.”
Capper just shrugged, smirking. “I dunno. Ignoring the whole ‘Storm King’ thing, it does make you sound pretty cool.”
“Yeah! For a unicorn with, erm, no offense, a broken horn to take down our princesses and Anon like that without a problem, you must be the strongest pony ever!” Applebloom said with a cheer, catching Tempest offguard.
Tempest stepped back in surprise when she noticed the three fillies had approached her without her notice. And all three of them seemed to be amazed at just how strong and fast Tempest seemed to be. Or at least, what it looked like given the argument between you and Grubber.
“Where did you, er, oh. You must be Anon’s friends. Mmmm, look, you shouldn’t find me amazing for what I did. Don’t you all realize I tried to take you all over for…” Tempest stopped herself as she shifted her eyes upwards towards her horn. “To restore my horn? Which that… Well, that wouldn’t have happened anyway. Still, what I did was wrong.”
“But you are amazing! Who cares what you did in the past? Capper already told us what you’re doing now, and you don’t want to do bad things anymore. Anon brought us here so we can meet you, which means you must be a really good friend. And since you’re friends with Capper, who is a friend of our friends, then that totally makes you our friend! We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, by the way! I’m Sweetie Belle, that’s Applebloom, and the one in the hat is Scootaloo! It’s nice to meet you, Tempest!” Sweetie said, just as excited to meet Tempest as the other two were.
“Yeah! And er, while Rainbow Dash is still the best, the fact that unicorns aren’t really known to be strong or fast makes you sound like some ancient master. You came out of nowhere and beat everypony without breaking a sweat. That must mean you must be the strongest unicorn ever. It sounds like nopony could beat you in a straight up fight. And I also know that your horn can also shoot super powerful shots. Must be really really powerful if you can even take down alicorns with it. Erm, and uh, I don’t mean that in an evil way, I really don’t. It just makes me think what would have happened if you were around on our side when somepony like Tirek attacked, or Sombra, or er…” Scootaloo stopped herself for a moment. She wanted to say Chrysalis, but she knew that’s upset you if you heard it, so she kept it to herself. “Discord! Y’know, when he was evil. I bet you could have taken them all down without breaking a sweat.”
“Ya know, I bet she could have! Especially with the way Grubber described it. Dodgin’ a million lasers from Anon? Tirek wouldn’t have stood a chance.” Applebloom said with a nod.
“See? What did I tell you Tempest? You’re popular now, to the point that it looks like they’d want you around whenever the next big disaster happens.” Capper said with a wink, nudging her a little with his elbow.
“I…” Tempest stopped herself when she realized these three fillies seemed to automatically ignore the atrocities she had committed. Not only that, they already seemed so excited to be her friend and talk with her. Hell, they even wanted to see her trounce some bad guys. They made her sound like a big hero, an ultimate warrior, and a nice mare all at once. “You all really want to be my friend, really?”
“Yeah!” They all cheered. Hell, that is the reason they were there, and they were already excited to have her as one.
Capper leaned in and whispered in Tempest’s ear. “C’mon, give em a chance. They already gave you one.”
Tempest nearly let out a single tear as the argument between you and Grubber began to vanish from her mind. She just looked down at the happy little fillies and nodded, a gentle smile coming forth from her own muzzle. “T-then, I’d love to have you as my friends too.”
The argument between you and Grubber had nearly turned into a fight. With the both of you insulting each other more and more until Scootaloo got in between the both of you, trying to sound like an actual captain as she tells the both of you how childish you were both being. Grubber’s argument was defending Tempest, yours was just the fact you didn’t like him insulting you, but Scootaloo would have none of it. This was further backed by everyone else, especially Tempest, who felt Grubber was being too uptight about the whole situation in general while she felt you were just being sensitive. She then took Grubber aside, saying something to him that surprised him for a moment. He then sighed, shook his hands, and walked back to the group with a sigh. “Alright, alright, sorry for upsetting everyone… I guess. Anyway, Tempest thinks we should get the ball rolling with some lunch. Now, since this is me, this ain’t gonna be some regular boring lunch. See, I’m the head chef around here. Well, the only chef, but let me tell you all that I got a real knack for it. Trust me, it all started with just learning how to bake cupcakes and BAM!” Grubber smashes his hands together. “Wanted to taste everything that was good in this world. Of course, to do that, I had to learn to cook it all first.” He said with a small cackle as he rubbed his belly. “And while I haven’t learned everything yet, I am on the way to getting there. Anyway, today’s lunch is something called ‘pizza’. Haven’t made one of those yet, but trust me, I rarely miss my mark, as in, Tempest eats my stuff too, so I can’t screw it up, even for my first try.” Grubber then pulls out a small notepad and a pen. “Anway, taking orders for side stuff. It can be anything, and I do mean anything. This ship was meant for like, a crew of seventy, and we only got three normally. Converted a lot of the empty rooms for more cargo storage. And that means I made room for all sorts of delicious ingredients to use. So, I already know what Tempest likes, Capper too I guess. Soooooo, you first.” He said as he points to Sweetie Belle.
“Oh? Anything? Can I get cinnamon rolls? I know they don’t really go with pizza, but I can’t miss the chance to get some without Rarity complaining that I’d get fat or something.” Sweetie said. And this followed suit for the rest. Applebloom wanted apple fritters, something Scootaloo seconded.
Grubber then looked to you, and just stared at you silently for a moment before finally saying. “Look, I’m sorry. I just, you know how it is…” Suddenly, Grubber began to soften up as he took a quick look towards Tempest. “She’s my best friend. I’ve known her for a long time. Way back when we both met up during our bad times with the Storm King. So look, let’s forget about what happened before, and be friends and stuff. So, er, sorry...and, yeah, sorry.” Grubber said as he extended his hand towards you.
You didn’t need to think about this, you knew you screwed up by losing your cool. Besides, everyone was watching, so denying him now would be social suicide. He seemed sorry enough, and well, you were sorry too, you were probably being a bit of an ass. You reach your hoof over and shake his hand. “No sweat, I’m sorry too. I’ll take some garlic bread, by the way. Goes good with pizza and, er, what toppings are going on it anyway?”
“If it was up to me, it’d be things you ponies wouldn’t even want to know. But since this is my first time and I gotta serve everyone, I’ll keep it simple and just use a bunch of cheeses.” Grubber said
That didn’t sound too bad. “Sounds good. Alright, been awhile since I had pizza.”
“Tch, then you better be really hungry for it, because it’s gonna be big! All the cheese practically melting right off, the crust baked to perfection. If it doesn’t knock all your coats off, then the pizza is free! Er, I mean, it’s already free. Y-you know what I mean. Anyway, just prepare yourselves, because it’s gonna be great!” Grubber said, his words actually catching not only your ears, but the other crusaders as well. The way he made it sound, it didn’t sound like fucking Dominos or Pizza Hut. This sounded like the real deal, like, the pizza you only see in dedicated restaurants. Why hadn’t you ever used your powers to conjure a fucking pizza? You’d have to remember to do that next time you wanted to be a slob.
Grubber then hurried off, leaving you and the group with Capper and Tempest. Tempest didn’t seem to be anxious or nervous, she looked calm and serene. She looked over to you, and began to speak. “So… Now that that’s over, I can finally say hello. How are you, Anon?”
“Huh? Oh, er, I’m good. Sorry about that, really, I don’t know what came over me.” You said apologetically.
“It’s fine, Grubber did get in your face the moment he saw you, so that kind of reaction is, while a little over the top, is expected. I’ve met your friends, their nice. And…” Tempest stopped when she realized she didn’t have too much to say. She just stared for a moment before looking down and grumbling to herself.
“What’s wrong, Tempest?” Sweetie Belle asked, noticing she was getting nervous.
“Hm? Oh, I just. It’s just… It’s only been me, Grubber, and Capper this entire trip, so I guess I’m not really used to talking to others yet. To tell you the truth, I am Anon’s friend, but I only knew him for as long as our adventure went. And then there’s you three, you’re a lot different than what I’m used to. I, erm, don’t even know where to begin with this. The conversation, I mean.” Indeed, Tempest was growing nervous. Conversing with Grubber was easy for her since she knew him for so long. And while she doesn’t talk to Capper all too much, his chill and cool aura does make him easily approachable. But for some reason, the presence of the crusaders, and the fact she only knew so much about you, was making her feel uneasy.
“Not a problem. As current captain, I say we talk about what life is like on this ship. Y’know, is it an adventure? Have you managed to beat bad guys super easy like Capper said? I really wanna know, and don’t skip the details!” Scootaloo said, wanting to hear details of the sky faring nature.
“Yeah, ah don’t really know what it’s like livin’ on a ship, and this one looks really nice. Is it fun? Is it hard work? How do y'all manage without a crew?” Applebloom added, she too interested to hear the stories of the crew of the Redemption Ark.
“You really want to hear about that? It’s not very exciting.” Tempest said. Confused that they’d ask about things like that. Yet, feeling more and more relaxed that they seemed so happily interested in her current life. Even if there are parts to said life that are less than cheery.
“I mean, I’m down to hear it if you want to tell it. I have a few stories myself about my time in Equestria. But er, I’d rather keep some of them to myself. At least for now .” You say. Interested in her stories, while preemptively letting her know that you weren’t willing to tell some of your own publicly. Namely, things like botching up the ‘Pony of Shadows’ or the Storm Ravager. Actually, you should never mention that last one.
“Really? What about the story on your shackles? It doesn’t look like you recently escaped any dungeons, and something about them look off. You didn’t get yourself into some kind of trouble, did you?” Tempest asked as her focus shifted to your shackles. It seemed her eyes were still sharp as ever, as she was able to tell they weren’t as natural as they appear.
Normally, you’d be frustrated or nervous about being called out in such a way. But she already knew about Chrysalis, as did Capper. So basically, there was nothing to lose just by talking about it. “Oh, yeah, you’d be right about that, about them looking off I mean. You remember how I said I was friends with Queen Chrysalis?”
“Oh yeah, I remember that one.” Capper interjected before putting his hand to his face, shaking his head. “You better not be telling us you both got locked up for something you shouldn’t have been doing. I gotta say, Anon. I know the tales, and I just ain’t seeing how you can be friends with someone like that.”
“E-er, it's nothing like that. Erm, you see…” And so you go on to explain the current situation with Twilight and Chrysalis. And while Capper looked surprised with every other sentence, even stopping you to get a further explanation, Tempest merely nodded her head, already understanding the gravity of the situation Chrysalis had fooled both you and Twilight into. “And that’s what’s going on. It’s mostly in our favor, so there’s nothing to worry about. I got all my bases covered.”
“Specific enough that she can’t even have someone else do it unless they only destroy Twilight as well, interesting.” Tempest said as she suddenly became deeply interested in the subject, entering deep thought as she put her more militaristic mind to work. “And is Twilight still out and about, despite the danger? You mentioned she’d have a changeling with her to alert her if Chrysalis got close. And yet, I have to ask, how loyal is he to you all.”
“Oh, Scrappy is super loyal! He’s one of our best friends! And he’s part of my family! And no matter what, Apples never turn on each other, not ever.” Applebloom said with a nod, a sure nod, with no doubt in her mind.
Capper just crosses his arms and nods, smiling to himself. “Sounds like there’s no way she can get close to Twilight. You ponies think of everything, huh?”
“For me, I’d like to think so. Because the last thing I can think of is her just going insane and rushing Twilight out in the open, as fast as she can, without care for her own well being. I doubt that is something she’ll do, but it’s something to consider. You did consider that, right Anon?” Tempest said as she looked to you, awaiting your answer.
“Er, well, I highly doubt she’d even try that, not her style. Even if that was something she’d try, Twilight at this point is vastly more powerful than she is and is quick to notice details. Chrysalis won’t get close. Trust me, it’s all covered.” God, you really hope she doesn’t try that. She’s not insane enough to just bullrush Twilight, is she?
“You don’t sound too sure, but I’ll take your word for it. I’m sure Twilight is in good hooves with you, her friends, and her allies. Oh, I know this is a little off topic, but the Storm King, Capper tells me you just hung his head on your wall as a trophy.” Tempest said, as she began to oddly observe you for some reason.
“Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I had to do something with it, right?” Ogh, you were really REALLY getting tired of all this Storm King business. The guy was dead, for sure, you just wanted to move on from even a mention of him.
But something was off. Tempest just stared at you, silently, creepily, for all but a half moment. She then nodded and laughed towards everyone. “Well, it looks like he wasn’t a HEAD of the game after all. Ah haha! Ha… hmm… erm.” And then Tempest just stopped her awkward laughter when she noticed no one was laughing with her. Hell, the CMC were looking at her with slightly creeped out expressions. They obviously felt the joke was morbid, even if they did hate the guy.
Capper just leaned in and whispered. “Gotta chill with those kinds of jokes, Tempest. They are foals, after all. Gotta be a little lighter with these kinds of things.”
“Right…” Tempest said as she whispered back. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and looked towards Scootaloo. “Ahrm, ‘Captain’, I’ve heard you really enjoy commandeering this ship. Do you have an interest in airships?”
“Oh, wait, you mean me?” Scootlaoo said in surprise as she pointed to herself. “Oh, well, I didn’t before. But being up so high, and being able to steer this entire ship is really really rad!” Scootaloo said as she turned and pointed towards the front of the ship. “You guys get to fly wherever, whenever, and however you want. It might not be like how a pegasus flies, but it’s still so awesome in its own way! Kinda makes me want to be a pirate! Arrrrr!” Scootaloo said as she put on her best impression of a pirate .
Tempest smiled warmly towards her. She found it such an innocent and beautiful thought. It even lingered in her mind as she thought to her own childhood. In truth, Capper had given Tempest a quick rundown of the CMC as they previously made their way to the deck, so she knew Scootaloo couldn’t fly. Like her, Scootaloo was crippled in her own way. A pegasus who couldn’t fly was like a unicorn who couldn’t use proper magic. In her heart, she was glad to see Scootaloo had not followed a dark path like she had. “Well, a pirate isn’t a bad occupation if what you are doing is for the greater good. We actually know a group of pirates. Good ones, with hearts of gold.”
“Really? Do they do swashbuckling and stuff?” Scootaloo said as she became more and more interested in the subject.
“You can say that. While Capper, Grubber, and I have been travelling from place to place, letting everyone know the reign of the Storm King is through. Our pirate friends have been raiding and looting the Storm King’s old bases and holds to bring resources back to those who really need it. They do their fair share of fighting too, if that wasn’t obvious. Does that answer your question?” Tempest asked.
“Yes! Wow! Now I really REALLY want an airship of my own. Girls, wouldn’t it be awesome if we became pirates? But like, good pirates?” Scootaloo said as she looked upon her friends.
“That would be pretty cool. We’d be able to travel the world and see a lot of new and exciting places.” Sweetie Belle said as she nodded to the thought of it.
Applebloom jumped up and started swinging her leg around as if she had a sword. “Yeah, and get into fights with all sorts of bad guys. But they ain’t beating us! The Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
Tempest had a bit of a giggle at their reaction and then looked to you. “What about you, Anon? Does being a ‘good’ pirate sound like fun?”
“I’m an embodiment of chaos. I think I’m good.” You reply, grinning with a self satisfied look.
“Wow, Anon. What does that have to do with being a pirate? You can only use your horn twice a day, right? That doesn’t really make you en embodiment of chaos, I think. Meanwhile, as a pirate, you can do whatever, whenever you want! How could you not want to be a pirate when you get to soar through the skies at your own pace?” Scootaloo said, seeming rather insulted that you seemed dismissive of it all. Seemingly even ignoring the lesson of the day just to put down your opinion.
“Geez, Scoots. I was just saying. Nothing wrong with being a pirate, I’d go for it just for the action and all. It’s just that my magic pretty much covers all the bases I need already. You alright?” Yeah, what the hell? Why is she as snappy as Sweetie Belle all of a sudden?
“O-oh, er, I guess that’s true. Sorry, I just…” Scootaloo took off the captain’s hat and looked at it for a quick moment as her wings very slowly opened then closed. She really did seem sorry for the way she reacted, she just really loved the idea of going around on an airship and sharing the experience with her friends, her ‘crew’ essentially. But all of a sudden, as Scootaloo tried to think of some words, Capper spoke up to cool down the situation.
“Aww, c’mon, Anon, Scootaloo, no need to get all sensitive over it. Heck, you just wanted to pal around with your own crew, isn’t that right, captain?” Capper said, putting on that charm towards Scootaloo.
“Yeah, that’s… Wait, how did you know I wanted that specifically?” Scootaloo said, confused. But even though it wasn’t obvious to you that time, it was obvious to Capper.
“Well, you are the Cutie Mark Crusaders. To me, that means you’re all a crew, going through thick and thin together. C’mon, Anon, we already know you got all that power, but what does it all mean when you don’t get to have fun with your friends?” Capper asked you, in a really saturday morning sort of way. Ogh, is that what she really meant? Oof, how could you miss that one? Maybe it was just the fact that all four of you actually being pirates sounded like a disaster.
“I uh, er, I didn’t even see it like that. I mean, in that case, sure. With all four of us, that pretty much makes us a full crew.” You lied. Scootaloo wasn’t even that bad, you knew that, you liked hanging out with her. It was just that all three of them together was too tiresome for you, not to mention all the trouble they find themselves in. It just isn’t worth it, especially if they somehow sunk the ship. Or rather, it fell from the sky.
“That’s what I like to hear. See, Captain? All you really need is your own airship and you’re ready to go.” Capper said as he swung his arm to the side, sounding more enthused in hopes to lift Scootaloo’s spirits.
“Yeah! Er, sorry about that, Anon. I guess maybe I should have mentioned what Capper meant.” Scootaloo said apologetically, which made you feel even more guilty. Christ, she didn’t need to apologize. Ugh, dammit, you need to cool your jets sometimes yourself.
“Er, I probably should have realized what you meant, so I’m sorry too. I mean, I am a crusader, so er, y’know. Cutie Mark Crusader Pirates, yeeeeah!” You faked the enthusiasm the best you could, but you were sorry, you really were.
“Cutie Mark Crusader, that actually sounds interesting in and of itself. What do you all do as crusaders?” Tempest asked, interested on what it meant, especially after taking notice that the three had very similar looking Cutie Marks. She already put two and two together and knew the marks had to do with whatever they do as a crusader, she just needed to know what that meant.
“Oh, well, before, it meant us all findin’ our own cutie marks.” Applebloom started to explain.
“But then we helped somepony find who they really were inside, and we all got cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle said with a cute excited hop.
“Now we help other ponies find their cutie marks too. If anypony needs help finding their cutie mark, they come to us! With Sweetie Belle, Anon, Applebloom, and I, there is no problem we can’t solve!” Scootaloo said as she adjusted the captain’s hat to make herself seem more cool.
“Wait. Anon? Er, I dunno, actually thinkin’ about it, has Anon ever actually helped us with that?” Applebloom said as she stopped to think about it.
“Actually, no. He really hasn’t. He said he was going to help us with our camp, but he never showed up.” Sweetie Belle said as she too began to contemplate on the help you have put in on helping other foals.
“H-hey! I was busy! I got a lot of things on my plate all the time!” And you just kind of REALLY didn’t want to do anything with that. That just sounded like a damn nightmare. Not to mention there’d be fillies there, probably gushing over you. If that happened and Diamond, at the time, found out, you’d be black and blue all over for weeks. “Besides, I pal around with you guys when you’re not doing that sort of thing. Because, er, well, look at my cutie mark! It’s chaos! Really don’t think that fits well with the harmony of finding special talents.”
Sweetie Belle entered deep thought once again, tapping her hoof under her chin. “He’s kinda right, especially with how crazy things can get around him sometimes. We can’t even go bowling with him without a dragon showing up, so who knows what crazy disaster would have happened.”
G-guh?! What?! You’re the disaster?! How are you the disaster!? It isn’t like you can control the events that happen around you! They just happen! Dammit Sweetie Belle, even when she didn’t mean to be antagonizing, she was antagonizing. “Hey, to be fair, that dragon attack wasn’t even my fault. He was after that gem made bowling ball, which wasn’t mine. Spike’s fault on that one.”
“True… I guess. Although, maybe that’s just it. Maybe the reason you can’t really help us with getting others their cutie marks is because…” Sweetie hesitates as she puts a little more thought into it, then speaks “Is because the ponies you do help are only around you because of how chaotic your life is.”
Wut? “Come again?”
“Yeah, it makes sense. The changelings, Starlight, even your dad has become nicer. And then there is Chrysalis, somepony we’d never be able to help on our own. Everything between you and her is super chaotic, but you’re also so close in reforming her, right?” Sweetie asked as she looked to you. And… Holy hell, was she actually on to something?
“Er, yeah, pretty much. I, uh, huh. And that’s actually not a bad theory at all either.” Some of it rested on the fact that you just didn’t want to deal with it, but upon further thought, that could also be true. There was no way you’d be able to deal with most of the foal’s issues or need to find their talent without losing patience. Was it patience? Or maybe it was interest? Or maybe it was because each pony’s talent was so wildly different that you felt for someone like you, you couldn’t keep up. Hm, with that thought, it seems you’d have to internally admit that the Crusaders could best you at something, and finding the special talent of others was it. “Kind of makes sense to be honest.”
“I can agree with that. From the moment I met you, I knew you were different from everyone else. As for all of you as Crusaders, I can tell you that what you’re doing is very important. I know there are many foals who could use friends like you, so knowing what it means to be a crusader makes me happy there is such good in the world, that foals who might otherwise have given up will have ponies like you to help them when they are at their lowest. That goes for you too, Anon, considering I’m pretty much part of that little reform list you got.” Tempest said, impressed.
“Wow, thanks, Tempest!” Sweetie said
“Yeah, that means a lot coming from you!” Scootaloo said, much to the confusion of Tempest.
“I… What? I-it does?” Tempest asked, she didn’t know why it did.
“Yeah! You’re so wise! Yer like one of them sagely types, except you’re not old. Heck, both you and Capper seem to know what we’re thinkin' all the time. You both ain’t psychic, are ya?” Applebloom asked, genuinely wondering if either of them had such an ability.
“I, er, I don’t think so. And I wouldn’t say I was wise either. I’ve just spent a lot of time training, a lot of time, even before I had joined the Storm King. I trained my mind as much as I trained my body. Although, if I really was wise, then I would have seen that the Storm King had lied about restoring my horn from the moment I met him. “ Tempest frowned, looking back down in shame over what she had done.
“Pfft, don’t let that get you down, Tempest. The past is the past, and you had your reasons. I know you didn’t completely trust him anyway, you were just desperate. If I got outcasted just because of something out of my control, I’d distance myself from society too. But you know what? After, and even before you became good, you were always wise and smart in my book. I mean, you really kicked butt, you always had a battle plan, you always had everything together and even able to outsmart Capper here. I can see why Grubber cheers you on a lot, you got a lot of things going for yourself some other unicorns would kill for. I even think you’d make a great mom if you had the chance.” You say, in your best effort to lift her spirits.
Though that last line seemed to be too much for her as you really caught her by surprise. “What?! A-a great mom?! I don’t even, I…”
Capper had a bit of a laugh about it and nudged at her with his shoulder. “C’mon, he’s right. I can see it now, three or six little foals, lined up in a row and saluting to Momma Tempest. They’d all turn in their homework, one by one, all perfect grades of course, before Momma Tempest gives em all that scary militaristic look, says nothing…” Then, all cool like, Capper looks to everyone, shifting his eyes, then brings his hands together and moves them away from each other horizontally. “And give em’ all a hug for being the best children she could have asked for.”
Tempest began to blush hard, embarrassed, she had never, not once, seen herself as a capable mother. She finally loses her composure as she angrily barks at Capper. “Don’t say that! You’re making me sound as if I could actually manage that!”
“But he’s right, Tempest. I think you’d make a great mom! You’re nice, cool, strong, and fun to be around! And, er…” Scootaloo looks to you with a sheepish smile as she says the next part. “I don’t mean to offend you, Anon. But if she can put you in your place, then that automatically makes her a good mom.”
WUT?! “What is that supposed to mean?!”
“She means that sometimes you’re just a little too hard headed, Anon, and wild to boot. If Tempest can wrangle you in, then kids should be no problem.” Capper said, once again knowing exactly what Scootaloo meant.
“I-if you’re talking about how I fought her. Well, I just… Ugh, ok fine, but it really was just one little foul up! Could have happened to anyone. Though, I admit, dodging all my lasers will never be not cool. So, if I had to add something to this, it’d be the knowledge that we all know her foals would be well protected. A prayer for anyone who messes with Tempest’s future kids, if you catch my drift.” Tempest as a mom. Anyone who hurts her foals would be fucking dead, that's for sure.
“I said I don’t!... Guh!” Tempest just leaned forwards and brought a hoof to her face. “At least Grubber isn’t here to hear this right now. I could only imagine how he’d react.” She really found this very embarrassing. Again, not thinking so far ahead of her life, she found it embarrassing that she was getting such praise. Well, getting the kind of praise that just didn’t suit a girl like her.
“How who would react?” Grubber asked as he began to roll a cart towards the group. Interesting, he was now dressed as a little waiter as he wheeled in trays of food and drinks. Holy shit, the smell was already noticeable from the distance he was at and. What? Oh good lord, why did it smell so good?
“Nothing! Er, Grubber, I-I see you’re already done with dinner. Erm, that was faster than I thought.” Tempest said. With her composure broken and feeling embarrassed from all the praise, she quickly tries to shift the conversation towards the incoming lunch.
“Of course, it’s called top notch service. Anyway, lunch is served everyone. Oh, and trust me, it's going to knock your horseshoes off. Even you, Anon. There’s no way you’re gonna be able to resist this, your brain is too tiny to figure out all the intricacies of taste. Oh no, nope, no no nope. My cooking is just as good as Tempest’s fighting skills, there is no way to not worship my super radical skills.” Grubber said with prideful arrogance as he began to expertly separate everyone’s orders. Despite his small size, stubby arms, and pudge body, he did exhibit some remarkable skills as he tossed up the plates of food and drink like a juggling act and threw them in front of everyone like ninja stars. All of it landing without coming off the plate, or drinks being spilled, those drinks seemingly just being some sort of cola.
Well, seemed his apology didn’t last very long at all if he was calling you out like that. “Tiny brain, huh? What happened to being sorry?”
“I am sorry, which is why your garlic bread isn’t poisoned or cooked wrong. Nope, I made it so good that despite it being so simple, your simpler brain won’t be able to handle the taste,” Grubber said, nodding to himself in self satisfaction.
Tempest sighed. She wanted to interject before things got too heated, but even she was enamored by her usual order. Yes, despite her side order being the same every time, it always impressed her how good it came out. That order, of course, being a small ice cream cake with berry filling. It always reminded her of her better days of youth. So she just shook her head, looked to you, and smirked. “Anon, insults aside, he does have a point. If he hated you, then I can assure you that garlic bread wouldn’t smell as good as it does.”
"Is this all really that good?" Sweetie Belle said as she had already began nibbling on her large cinnamon roll. The smell was already intoxicating, but when she took a bite, she fell on her back in a daze.
“Sweetie Belle!” Both Applebloom and Scootaloo called out to her “Are you ok?”
“G-girls, this cinnamon roll. This cinnamon roll, is, is… I want to marry it.” Sweetie said in a euphoric stupor of exquisite taste.
“Marry it? Wha? Sweetie Belle, now you’re just talking nons-” But as Applebloom found Sweetie’s reaction over the top, Scootaloo had taken the time to bite into her apple fritter, interrupting Applebloom as Scootaloo suddenly gets a crazed look in her eye. She just stares at the apple fritter for a moment, and downs it in one bite, surprising Applebloom further. “Scootaloo?! You too?!”
“Applebloom!” Scootaloo said as she looked to Applebloom with frantic eyes. “Don’t bite into your apple fritter! Don’t do it! I finally understand what it means to spoil your lunch or dinner! It’s too good! You won’t want anything else!”
“Oh, trust me girlies, once I lift that top off that plate, you’ll want to fight over every slice of that pizza. Don't worry though, there's enough for everyone” Grubber then looked to you with a confident smirk. “C’mon, Anon, give your garlic bread a taste. Taste it and worship the cooking skills that is me, Grubber!”
Was this guy serious? Was he fucking serious? Maybe apple fritters and cinnamon rolls can taste that good, but garlic bread was garlic bread, there’s no way it can be that mind blowing. You just eye Grubber as you take a small stick of garlic breeqFDSAFDFSDAFSDGDS. You begin to drool and nearly fall over on your face. What in the fuck?! The softness of the bread, the freshness and strong taste of garlic, the hint of cheese, the warmth. What the fuck was the bread made of?! You couldn’t even form words, you couldn’t figure it out. And within another moment, you already went through your second stick of bread.
Grubber just looks at his fingers of his right hand and fiddles with them as he chuckles. “Yeah, I got that from Capper too when I first made him some fish bits. Not exactly a dish you can make taste great, but boy do I nail it anyway. Only the great Tempest has managed to avoid the hypnotic trance of my cooking.”
“He’s right, even he gets like that when he makes a cupcake for himself.” Tempest remarks with a chuckle.
“H-hey! Don’t say that! That makes me sound uncool! I’m on a roll here, look how impressed they are.” Grubber said as he waves his arms towards you and the girls.
“I can see that. Are you all alright?” Tempest asked, amused at the reactions of you, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, y'all are actin’ real funny all of a sudden. Was it really REALLY that good?” Applebloom asked, weirded out by the reactions of everyone else.
“Y-yeah, I just… Ngh, I guess the cooking is really good. Just, ugh, really really good. Ok, Grubber, you got me. This is top quality stuff.” You had to compliment him. Christ, you were downed by fucking garlic bread. You could only imagine what the pizza was going to taste like.
“It’s always top quality stuff. But hey, since you love it so much, I’ll lay off ya for awhile. Besides, we haven’t even got to the pizza yet.” Grubber said as he prepared to present his main dish.
“I know I’m ready. If you don’t mind, I’m just gonna use my fish as a topping. Only thing better than pizza is fish pizza.” Capper said as he prepped himself for a meal. He already knew Grubber’s cooking was good, so he was just eager to eat.
“Alright, alright, here we go!” And there it was. Grubber lifted the lid to reveal the sizzling deep crust cheese pizza under it. Oh god, the smell, the gigantic size, the cheese just looking and smelling delicious, looking so meltingly good, you could only imagine what the sauce tasted like. Hell, even the crust looked and smelled delectable. Yeah, whatever, fuck it, if that tasted as good as it looked, then you might as well acknowledge the guy as an actual cooking god.
“Oh god, BLARGH, ngh! That asshole, making the pizza taste so, BLARGH. Just had to be tasty enough for me to go for that third slic-BLARGH! He did it on purpose! God, it even tastes good coming up, BLARGH!” Below deck of the ‘Redemption Ark’, you were puking up a storm in the armory bathroom. A quaint little room beside a hall of cannonballs, swords, spears, and cannons ready to fire through side hatches. The bathroom itself was pretty nice, or it was made nice with the furnishings, potted plant, window hatch, and two toilets for both bipedal and quadruped creatures. Of course, none of that mattered to you, you just needed to let everything loose after overeating.
Indeed, you and the CMC had stuffed yourselves, you especially. The CMC were above deck, almost like little pudgeballs themselves as they found themselves unable to move, even after being warned by Tempest and Capper that eating too much junk food wouldn't do well for them. You? Damn man, you’re much better than some filly, how could you not handle it? Well, you didn’t. “Ugggghh, dammit, that’s it. Ogh, I think I actually made room for another slice. Ngh, actually, forget about it, I don’t need another bathroom visit.” You tell yourself as you flush the toilet and walk over to the sink, gazing at yourself in the mirror with tired eyes. “Look at you, Anon, beaten by food. How humiliating. Man, you could do better than that. If someone like Pinkie could handle that much food, then how could you not? Actually, never mind, maybe it’s a good thing. Don’t want to ruin my cuteness now would I?” You tell yourself as you give your mirror image a quick grin. “Yeah, I know, I’m perfect.”
You chuckle to yourself as you open the door back to the armory. However, upon taking a few steps forward, you end up bumping into another pair of legs. Wuh? You look up to see Tempest had followed you, and had been waiting for you. But her stare, why did it look so scary? “Tempest? Yo, er, did you come down to check on me? I mean, you didn’t have to, I can handle a little food.”
But she said nothing.
“Tempest? You ok there? You’re giving me the creeps all of a sudden.” Like, the fuck? Why was she looking at you like that? Was that even her? She seemed pretty cheerful above deck, so why did she look so serious now?
“Storm King. What exactly did you do with him?” Tempest asked, without emotion, keeping her gaze right on you.
Your ears twitched and folded when you heard that. Why was she asking about that? You had already said it. “I already sa-”
“Yes, I know. And I can understand the need to lie to them considering all that anger and animosity you held towards him, and at one time, towards me. So again, what exactly did you do with him? And furthermore, why does it seem like you did something you shouldn’t have?” Tempest questioned as she cut you off, tilting her head slightly, looking at you harder for any subtle reaction.
Ohhhhh god no, she already figured you out?! Anon, how the fuck are you gonna get out of this one?! How would she even react? You didn’t even know if the situation had to be diffused or not. “I-I mean, I… I did do something pretty terrible to him.”
“So you revived him, interesting. Well, you don’t need to worry about me judging you for whatever you did. I’m sure whatever it was wasn’t even close to what he deserves.” Tempest said, her demeanor softening only a bit.
“O-oh, in that case, I pretty much stuck his living head onto this mutant changeling that sticks around outside my window. I mean, I stuck him right on his butt. He hated it, but I didn’t care, I felt it was fitting. Y’know, to make him the ‘butt’ of all jokes. Hahaha!” And that was truth, and with that pun, you hoped to break Tempest’s gaze with a chuckle or even a laugh.
“Good, he deserves it. Would you mind if we go see him right now? I’d like a chance to crush whatever spirits he might have left.” Tempest said. But the way she said it, she didn’t sound enthused. No, more like she seemed to be trying to get a reaction out of you. And unfortunately for you, you didn’t catch it at first, as you panicked and tried to come up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t allow that.
“Oh, er, that’d be awesome! But I came to visit you, and I can’t just-” But she cuts you off once again.
“Leave your friends here? They’ll be fine with Grubber and Capper, I can guarantee that. Plus, considering how much they ate, they won’t be moving for awhile. So, my next question is what happened then? For someone who would be proud to be known as ‘defeating’ the Storm King, you are being absolutely suspicious about it.” Tempest, despite her cold stare, began to feel anxious about what you were going to say next. Holy shit, she could tell you were lying. When she stared at you before, above deck, she must have already figured out it wasn’t the truth.
Ngh! Dammit! You couldn’t come up with something she might believe! You’d have to tell her the truth! Oh god, if she knew that the Storm King escaped and then… Died? He died, he totally died! HAHA! And she seems perfectly ok with that. “Ok, what I’m about to tell you is pretty heavy stuff. So I have to ask you to not fry me before you hear out everything I have to say.”
“Fry you? I don’t think I’d… Anon, please tell me-” Aha, but you cut her off this time.
“That he got free? He did, he did, erm. But I’m still standing because I actually managed to beat him. I mean it, Tempest. He tried to fight me, but I totally beat him instead. Like, I threw everything at him, and then crushed him under a giant kitchen sink. And when I say giant, I mean enough to destroy a small planetoid. Nobody, not even him, could survive that. I admit, my Dad’s little power up helped with that, but I still ultimately beat him myself. I think it’s fitting actually, to see that even with his increased power, he was no match for the Prince of Chaos. That being me, of course.” You say, grinning with self satisfaction.
Tempest, who held in all her rage in finding out that the Storm King somehow got loose, began to calm down just as quick as she could finally tell you were telling the truth, as you had no more hesitation or physical tells.”So, that’s it then? He got loose and you beat him? Hm, amazing how well you’ve come around if you were able to beat that mutated freak on your own. I wish I could have seen it, to see the look on his face when he realized his dreams and ambitions were taken by a colt.” Tempest had a dark sense of joy for a moment, up until she realized she was enjoying the thought a little too much. She felt perhaps she shouldn't, as only a monster would take absolute pleasure in the suffering of another. But it was hard, she truly felt that he should suffer for everything he's done. “With that said, what did you do with his remains?”
“Remains?” Er, there probably were no remains, the guy was obliterated by a giant kitchen sink. “I don’t think there’s anything left of him. I literally smashed him into paste.”
“Then where is the paste?” Tempest asked, anxiety building within her as something obvious began to show itself.
“Er, well… I, erm. I mean, I didn’t really bother checking either way. I threw literally everything at him, it destroyed the planetoid we were even on. There’s nothing left of him, I’m pretty sure of it.” And as sure as your words sounded, as Tempest looked back at you with wide and angry eyes, that assurance you felt that you had done good began to quickly leave you.
“What?! WHAT?! You didn’t even bother to check?! What is wrong with you?! How could you not check if you finished the job!” Tempest barked at you, filling with sudden rage as her horn began to spark. Hell, she snapped so fast, it even scared you.
“U-uh, I was gonna be late for dinner, and er. Look, I was sort of out of my mind when I finished him off. But I can promise you, he’s gone, he hasn’t shown up since I crushed his ass.” You try to reassure Tempest, but she wasn’t taking it. Without a thorough investigation, she would not be quelled.
“Anon, you… YOU! This isn’t a joke! None of that should sound as nonchalant as you’re making it! The Storm King is a dangerous monster, and you didn’t even bother to check if you had finished him! UGGGH!” Tempest said as she quickly moved away from you and fired a sparkling shot into the hull of the ship, charring it, but not damaging it further than that. Despite her anger, she was keeping her power in check rather well. “Anon, we’re going to have to go there, RIGHT NOW, and make sure he’s gone. We need to find his remains. Limbs, some bones, even paste. Something, Anon, we need to find something!”
“You mean now? Like, right now? What about everyone else?” Oh no, the situation was getting out of hand, and now even you were having doubts about how dead you made the Storm King.
“What about them? Your friends are sprawled on deck from eating too much, and Capper and Grubber know, like I said, how to handle themselves. Now, Anon, we can’t waste anymore time!” Tempest said, her eye twitching, her broken horn sparkling further. Hn, fine, you’d fulfill her request. She wasn’t wrong, you should have made absolutely sure he was gone. Luckily, with your unlimited power, it shouldn't be too hard to find some piece of him. This shouldn’t take too long.
“Alright, alright, ok, I get it.” You say as you plop on your horn. “You’re right, I should have checked. And although I’m pretty sure he’s gone, making a quick check shouldn’t be too hard. Let me just tell you though, the chaos realm is sorta crazy, so stick close to me, ok?”
“I can handle myself, Anon. Just teleport us to the battle site.” Tempest said, in a demanding way as she prepared herself.
“Ok, erm, here we go then.” And with a quick flash, you and Tempest vanish, popping into the chaos dimension, right on a large floating rock. Around you were the usual islands of nonsense, floating landmasses, crazy weather, that sort of thing. But right across of you both was floating debris of all kinds, with a colossal kitchen sink in the center, plunged into the remains of the planetoid. “Here we are, the chaos dimension. Ok, so over there is where we fought, or what’s left of it anyway. He should be right under the kitchen sink, so all we have to do is float right along in there. Be careful though, gravity is really weird here. Just stick by me and you should… Tempest?” She was gone. You looked around only to see her already in the distance, leaping off machinery and debris as she made her way ever closer to the sink. “Or, you can just go on your own. Christ…” You sigh as you teleport closer to the target, bringing yourself right on the remains of the planetoid as Tempest lands right beside you. She lands so suddenly that it scares you and makes you fall on your side. “Gyah! Geez! Watch it! How did you get here so fast?! I just teleported here!”
“I jumped. I had already noticed the gravity here is fluid, yet not. Now, focus.” Tempest said as she walks over to the sink. It was so huge, like a monument the size of a city block. There was no way she was going to move it, or even blast it out of the way. “Well, here’s the sink. You really dropped this on him?”
“I did. That’s why I’m saying he’s totally gone. No one, not even him, could survive this.” You say as you tap your horn on the sturdy porcelain. “This has got to be millions of tons, nothing but the most powerful of magics could lift this thing. Nothing but my magic, of course”
“So, lift it then. We’ll have our answer once we look at the ground underneath.” Tempest said as she stepped backwards and awaited the movement of the sink.
“Er, ok…” Just like that? Christ, it was just like how she was before her reform. Cold, to the point, militaristic. C’mon, Anon, you are right, right? The guy is dead, he has to be. If he got out, the sink probably would have been blown to bits. You start using your magic to grab the sink, and easily levitate it up and away from the planetoid. If the guy was alive, you could just easily drop it on him if he tries anything.
When the sink lifted, the broken planetoid began to shake slowly for a moment before becoming still again. Tempest stepped forward to investigate the crater left by the sink, and jumped in as she began to slide down to the center, looking all around for a corpse as she came closer to the center. You followed after her. As you both slid, you both notice a strange body shaped hole nearby. Oh boy, that had to be it. Guy is dead, haha! You knew it! But your mental celebration would soon come to a halt when you and Tempest looked over it and saw that the hole went straight through the planetoid, with the hole going through to the other side. No body, there was no body. Tempest lit the whole hole with a small spark shot to confirm, to light it up and make sure it went all the way through, it did. “Anon, he isn’t here.”
SHIT! “E-er, I, erm. I mean.” You didn’t know how to respond.
“He isn’t here, Anon. Darn it!” Tempest said as she stomped her hoof. She then looked at you with a fierce glare. “How could you not check?! He survived, Anon, he managed to get out through the other end! He must be more powerful than before if he could survive this!”
“I mean, he kinda wasn’t. I was able to beat him, he didn’t eve-” But Tempest snapped at you, she didn’t want to hear it.
“I don’t care! That’s not what’s important now! Anon, this! This was not a game, and yet you treat it like it is! The Storm King isn’t stupid, Anon, despite the way he talks. He took over entire countries, Anon, and if we can’t find him, then he’ll come back stronger than before, he’ll know better how to deal with you and us!” Tempest yelled at you, stomping towards you as you nearly crawled back away from her.
“I know! I’m sorry ok! I… Ugh, look, he shouldn’t have been able to even free himself from where I put him! I don’t know how he did it, not even he did! But, we can find him, I know someone who can help.” Shit, you were scared. Tempest looked like she was really to tear you to shreds. It was obvious she hadn’t thanks to her self control, but the friendship between you and her? Now it seemed rocky, and it really did seem to be your fault.
“Then get him. We cannot waste any more time.” Tempest said, as she began to look at the hole again for any clues. “Use your magic to bring them here, now. We have to figure something out before the trail goes completely cold.”
“Er, I can’t really do that with this guy. Considering it’s my dad, I have to contact him. But don’t worry, this is important, I’m sure he’ll help.” God, you hope he does.
“Then contact him.” Tempest said as she looked back at the hole and shot another spark downwards. “I’ll continue investigating the hole. There’s already something strange about it.”
“What’s strange ab-” But she just gives you a deep dark stare, as in to tell you to not waste time asking and spend more time contacting. “O-ok then, maybe later. Alright…” You step away and bring a hoof to your ear as you start up your codec. “Discord, Discord… I need you, like, right now. We got a situation.”
Amazingly, Discord answers near immediately. But of course, he didn’t seem to want to be disturbed. “And what kind of situation is that? Is it more important than me reading this letter from your secret pony friend Neighsay as I wonder how mailponies even manage to get to my house? Oh yes, by the way, I’m reading your mail.”
Fucking… Wait, Neighsay? Neighsay sent you a… Goddammit, you should have known that your business with him wasn’t over yet. Ugh, whatever, you didn’t even care that Discord was looking through it, you just needed him here. “Yes, Discord, it is, I don’t even care that you’re reading my mail. I need you, I seriously need you right now. The Storm King, Ravager, whatever! He’s still around.”
“What?!” Discord yelled through his codec as he instantaneously appeared at the crater, visibly upset as he turned to look at you, then pointed at you with great fury. “He’s 'around'?! How can he be around?! My instilled chaotic insanity I put into you should have been enough of a push to bury him. You dropped a kitchen sink on him for chaos’s sake! Your chaos mastery through my own powers should have been absolute, this fight being the triumph of true calamity! Yes, you may have given up on my gift, but it was still perfect! How, Anon, how did you screw this one up?!”
“Me?!” Goddammit, was that what he cared about right now?! “What do you mean I screwed this up?! Like I said, I dropped a kitchen sink on him! Dammit, Discord, this is serious! I need you to take this more seriously, alright? This guy is willing to kill people, even ponies like me and Fluttershy! Stop your shit and help us!”
Discord, upon hearing that last part, suddenly cringed and let out a low growl as his eyes shifted to Tempest. “Using a low blow by mentioning Fluttershy, are we? Very well, even though this is your fault, I will lend my services to you so we can fix this egregious mistake.” Discord, as he said this, began to adjust his horns as if they were part of a satellite tower. And after that, he just sort of stood there, silent.
Tempest’s attention was taken off her investigation by Discord’s appearance. She had never seen him in person before, and the way he looked and acted, it was even more aloof and mismatched than she had imagined. Of course, with him just standing there, it began to piss her off. “What is he doing? We don’t have time for games.”
“We always have time for games, my dear.” Discord said as he turned his head towards her and brought a talon to his muzzle to shuush her. “But be quiet, I need some concentration. For some reason, I can’t seem to detect him.”
“How are you even trying to detect him? I know you can pick up on anomalies, but what about guys like him?” You ask, curious as to what exactly Discord was doing.
“His chaotic signature. Detecting other beings of chaos is actually quite easy for me, especially when it comes to keeping tabs on you. But… There does seem to be a problem.” Discord said as he began to adjust his horns again, even putting more horns on top of his horns… For reception?
“And what problem is that?” Tempest asked, already ready not to take Discord’s shit.
“No chaos signature. Not here, not there, not anywhere. His chaotic aura isn’t even coming up in Equestria. Odd, it’s as if he vanished completely.” Discord said as he began to stroke his beard with his paw.
“Vanished? How?! Are you sure, Discord? Geez, c’mon, this guy is dangerous as fuck, how could you not find him?! Are you sure you’re just not reading his signature right?” D-dammit, even Discord can’t find him?! What is going on?!
“I’m absolutely sure. He’s not in this dimension, nor the next. Looking along the leylines of dimensions, he’s not even in any outside universes either. His chaos has dissipated, which tells me that my perfect way of handling your sanity was indeed perfect. My guess is that the kitchen sink hit him so hard that he must have turned to literal dust.” Discord shrugged, smirking to himself. “And you two were worried that this whole thing wasn’t solved with my genius. For shame. But don’t you worry, I’ll let this one slide with no strings attached, except for the knowledge of how great I truly am. Now, if you excuse me, I have things to do of little importance, good day to you both.”
“What?! So you’re not going to help us further? How can you be so sure the Storm King is truly gone?!” Tempest said as she stomped her hoof, challenging Discord’s conclusion, as she felt he wasn’t thorough and that his scan was insufficient.
“Like I said, I can’t detect him. He became a creature of chaos, which means I, being the spirit of chaos, can easily detect him through just his aura. But if he doesn’t have said aura, and he got crushed, then it means he’s gone forever. Now, as I said, good day to the both of you. I don’t have time to have my perfect self questioned by somepony I’ve never even met. I have less important things to do, like perhaps reading through Twilight’s mail” Discord, wasting no time, snaps his talons, disappearing from the area.
Tempest just stood there, confused and stunned. “T-that was Discord? I didn’t expect him to be so… nonsensical. What did he mean by ‘handling your sanity’? Why did he even…” Suddenly, Tempest shook her head as she realized she just lost focus on the entire situation. “Nevermind, forget about it.” Tempest went back to the hole and began to walk down into it as the gravity shifted for her naturally, or unnaturally. Either way, she seemed calmer than before, as if she actually took Discord’s words to heart about what he said towards the Storm King’s fate. “Anon, can you come over here?”
Ugh, Neighsay, you really weren’t done with him. Whatever, first thing’s first, you had to finish this investigation with Tempest. You waddle over to the hole and look down upon it as you saw Tempest light her horn once more, her moving her hoof along the side as she neared the other end. “What is it?” You asked as you used your horn to gently hover down towards her.
“If what your father said is true, and given the smaller size of the other end of the hole, I only have two things to ask. One, how large was the Storm King when you fought him? And two, do other creatures, dangerous creatures, live around here?” Tempest asked as she began to survey the other end of the hole.
“He was even bigger than before actually. He was going by the name ‘Storm Ravager’ when I fought him. As for creatures, there’s a ton, I mean, a lot just float by. According to Dad, they’re pretty dangerous. I know, like, some mail pony got eaten once.” Poor guy, he never stood a chance. All to deliver a gala ticket to Discord.
“I see, then it looks like I owe you an apology.” Tempest said as she stood up, and began to walk back up the wall of the hole.
Wha? What did she figure out to suddenly offer you an apology? “Wha? What do you mean?”
“From what I could gather, the Storm King was crushed by your gigantic sink and sent into that hole. The massive size of the hole probably matched the size of his body. That being said, the end of the hole looks like it was dug or punched through from the other end, and is much smaller than the rest of the hole, too small for the Storm King to fit through anyway. My guess is a creature from this dimension dug through the other end and ate him, leaving no trace of him behind. That would probably explain why your father can’t detect him. So, basically, I…” Tempest sighed, and shook her head in shame. “Apologize. I let my fear, and my anger control me. I was afraid the Storm King had somehow escaped and would then plan revenge on everyone we care about. But looking at the sink, the odd objects orbiting it, and the fact that it seems he’s some creature’s dinner… Well, I don’t think anyone could have survived that. Not even me. I’m sorry, Anon, I really am.” Tempest looked away from you, as tears began to shed from her eyes. She really felt she damaged her friendship with you over something that just seemed petty at this point.
You couldn’t blame her, you really couldn’t. She was right all this time. You should have checked, made sure you finished the job. The fact that an anomaly happened that split him from that joke of an ex-captain should have raised more alarms for you, and yet you were pretty much done when you thought he was dead. From now on, you’ll make sure to check on your work, to make sure the deed is done. “Tempest, don’t be sorry. You were right this whole time. The Storm King isn’t a joke, and I should have taken things more seriously. I understand how you feel. If he somehow did escape, then it would have been all my fault. I should be the one apologizing.”
“Part of me can’t shake off that I do, in fact, felt justified in what I told you. I just shouldn’t have been such a jerk about it. Look, let’s just… You’re sorry, and I’m sorry. We obviously accept each other’s apology. I just… I don’t want to think about the Storm King anymore, and I don’t want anything to come between our friendship. The Storm King will become a forgotten memory now, and I’d rather just pretend this whole thing never happened. Can we do that?” Tempest looked to you with sorry eyes, she really regretted her behavior. Some habits really just do die hard.
“Yeah… Yeah. Let’s just get back to the ship, hang out a bit more, and call it a night. I don’t want to think about that guy either, and just want to spend the rest of the day with you guys before I go home. Besides, knowing Grubber, I bet he’s looking for us right now. We have been gone for awhile.” You say, saying that last part to try to brighten the mood and quickly distract from what just happened.
Tempest let out a weak chuckle, and nodded. “I can already hear him screaming my name. Alright then, let’s go back.“
With the situation calmed, you place your horn on your head and head back to the ‘Redemption Ark’. Although the thoughts of the Storm King, along with Neighsay, rung in your head, you had to try to get rid of them for now. And while you’ll just have to read Neighsay’s letter later to figure out what he wanted. The situation with the Storm King still muddled your thoughts no matter how you tried to leave it be. He was dead, for real, right? No one could have survived that.
Returning back to the armory, you felt a tenseness between you and Tempest. Sure, you both apologized to each other, but goddamn, you had the situation handled. You beat the Storm Ravager, and you knew no one, not him, not anyone, could survive that. Even Discord knew that. You looked back up at Tempest, who slowly looked back at you. ‘Justified’, maybe only in the fact you should have checked for a corpse. But really, all in all, she treated you like you were just a low level lackey rather than a friend. “Well, we’re back.”
“Yeah... “ Tempest said quietly, nodding, looking around aimlessly for a moment. “Are you angry at me?”
Hmm. “I’m… Just upset. I know I should have checked, but I had it all handled. I’m your friend, right? I’d thought you’d trust me better than that after what we went through.”
“I did, mostly. I originally was more interested in how you were torturing him. I know that sounds bad, something none of us should want. But I really do believe he deserves nothing but suffering for everything he’s caused. And… Sometimes I think I do too. I shouldn’t have treated you so harshly.” Tempest said, as she began to look down in shame.
“Tempest, I… Look, I know already that you get treated like dirt sometimes in some of the places you all have been visiting. I know things have been tense. I just… I dunno, I kinda wish that had gone better, that’s all.” You really did. You had been excited to see her, and now you just wanted to go home.
“If you mean me treating you like… Like a stupid grunt. Ugh…” Tempest brings a hoof to her forehead and shakes her head. “I just… I let myself lose it, I just couldn’t believe he’d get away at all, much less you not check to see if he was gone. But you’re right, if I was a better friend, I’d have just asked we check together. Anon, I don’t want to lose you as a friend. And I don’t know how to make it up to you…” She really didn’t, she had no idea what she should do at this point.
“Look, let’s just forget this ever happened, ok? I get it, Storm King is a big deal. We both really messed up and it’s just best we forget about it and go see what-” But suddenly, as you were just trying to get the situation out of mind, you suddenly hear a squeaky greeting coming from behind.
“Hi! Anon! There you are!” It was Sweetie Belle, still with a slight pudge belly from overeating, rushing up to you and Tempest with an eerily excited smile.
“What? Sweetie Belle, what are-, what are you doing down here?” Wut? You expected Grubber, or maybe even Capper. But Sweetie Belle? The fuck did she want? And why did she look so happy to see you?
“Oh, erm, I was just looking for you so I could ask you something.” Sweetie Belle said, her excitement building more and more by the second.
“Excuse me, but did Grubber and Capper let you down here?” Tempest asked. Seems she didn’t want others down here without supervision, or mostly, just children who didn’t seem to know what they are doing. Given the armory has many dangerous weapons, she didn’t want to be responsible for anyone poking an eye out… Or worse.
“Mhmm, I got bored waiting and they told me Anon would be here. They also told me not to touch annnyyything. Which is fine, because I only came down here for him.” Sweetie said as she pointed to you.
What in the fuck? Why? She never looks for you for anything. “Uh, you couldn’t have waited for me to come back up to the deck?”
“Er, no, because what I wanted to ask you is sort of private.” Sweetie said as her excitement began to also become mixed with a nervousness, a nervousness that caused her to blush. Blush? Wait… Oh god, it can’t be about Capper, can it?
“Private? Er, well, maybe you both could talk about this on deck? You could just talk away from us if it needs to be private, there’s a lot of room.” Tempest suggested. She didn’t want to leave anyone below deck, namely Sweetie Belle, around the dangerous weapons. Tempest didn’t trust her enough, and felt she might lose focus and touch something.
“No no, it has to be where nopony can see! And it is something only Anon can do for me! So Anon, can you do something for me? Please, please please? I’ll do anything you want me to do later! Promise! I’ll even be your maid as long as you don’t tell anypony.” Sweetie said as she hopped about, looking deeper into your eyes as she shook, looking like she was going to explode.
Maid?! Sweetie in a maid outfit?! Ngh, be still your quaking loins. Tempting, super tempting, but considering it’s her, it just isn’t worth it. Still, might as well hear out what she has to say. “What even is it? I can’t decide on it if I don’t know.”
“Well, I, er…” Sweetie took a breath, and plainly said what she wanted as calmly as she could. “I want to be an adult… Cat.”
“What?!” Not only you, but Tempest also exclaimed. Was she… Was she fucking serious?!
“What? Come on! It’s the only way to ask Capper out on a date. He’s so dreamy and handsome, like a prince from a faraway land! I got to see if I have a chance with him. So, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!” Sweetie said, looking as adorable as she can as she gave you a pout.
Fucking, nope. That was a disaster waiting to happen. Might be sexy, but the catastrophe it’d be would be too much. “Er, no.”
“What? Why?! Come on, Anon! It’s just for the visit! Please? I just want to see if I have a chance!” Sweetie begged, her eyes shimmering with tears.
“Sweetie, no.” You say more sternly. No, really, fuck that shit, that is a nightmare scenario right there.
“But whhhhhhhhhhhhyyyy?!” Sweetie groaned, still pleading with you for that transformation.
“Are you serious? He’d know it’s you, Sweetie Belle. He’d decline you, bam, like that. So no.” And that was final.
“B-but, what if he doesn’t? What if he falls in love with me on first sight? He’s too good not to have as a special somepony… Cat.” Sweetie explained, trying to rationalize her want for Capper.
God, you knew it, you fucking knew it. You knew Capper’s charm might cause something like this. Welp, time to be an asshole, because you know this shit would get you in trouble, big time, if you did it. “Sweetie Belle, geez. Look, let’s say he does fall in love, and he wants to be with you. Cool, you got what you wanted, except for the fact that you have no idea how to be an adult nor do you even know Capper enough to justify this. But again, let’s say it happens. You can say goodbye to Rarity, your friends, Ponyville… All of it. You’d now be living here, on this ship, with only Capper, Tempest, and Grubber to talk to. Not only that, but you’d probably now have to deal with a bunch of responsibilities due to being on a flying ship.”
“A bunch doesn’t cover it, Anon. Maintenance, cleaning, making sure the cannons are set to fire at any time, managing the sails, cooking, cargo checks, patrol… All of that just being a small portion of the work needed to keep the ship going.” Tempest interjected, in a way that helped you out.
“Yeah, there you go, you now have a ton of work to do. And I bet you’re thinking of all the new locations you get to see, not to mention getting to fly through the air, is going to be fun and exciting. And… Er, Tempest, is it fun and exciting? I’ve never actually done real airship stuff before.” You had in video games, and that was fun, but you didn’t know how far that extended in really doing it.
“It is at first, until you realize how stale and boring it can be to go from place to place, especially if the distance from said places is long. Endless sky can only be so exciting, hence why we have hobbies. Such as Grubber and his cooking.” Tempest replies. Wow, she was just helping you out just like that.
“B-but, I-I can still be around Capper, l-like a real couple.” Sweetie said with a gulp, as her fantasy began to shatter into pieces.
“Capper is usually busy piloting the ship and keeping a lookout for anything dangerous or friendly. He doesn’t need the distraction, nor do I think he would settle down with someone so childish. You’d have an adult body, but you’d still be a foal. I can assure you Capper will not be interested.” Tempest said, her tone becoming cold and distant.
“Sweetie Belle, just… Don’t. Because it’s not even just you, it’s me. Your sister would absolutely kill me if you stayed here… As an adult cat. Ok? You didn’t even think about how it would affect me, did you?” You already knew she didn’t.
“I… No, I guess not.” Sweetie Belle said, her ears folding as she finally began to back down. “I guess my sister would get really mad at the both of us.”
“Yeah, not to mention everypony else who'd get mad too. They’d probably think I have too much power and that I’m way too irresponsible with it. So no, I won’t be doing that, and I’m not in the mood for this anymore.” Really, you weren’t. God, why did she have to be such a bother.
“N-no, I understand. You and Tempest are right. Ugh, I-I don’t even know why I fell for him so hard. He just… He’s just so… Cool. But he’s not worth causing you so much trouble. I’m sorry…” Sweetie Belle… Apologized? And this convo went relatively painlessly? Wut?
“It’s ok… Look, I have a lot on my plate. So if you can just leave me with Tempest for a moment, I dunno, I'd really appreciate it, ok?” Please, Sweetie, please… Don’t be difficult.
“Ok… Oh, erm! D-do you think that when I do grow up, I might have a chance?” Sweetie asked, being genuine if still nervous over it.
“I mean, possibly?” She’d probably find someone by then anyway. She is too adorable not to attract male attention.
“And then… Do you think you can turn me into a cat?” Sweetie asked, forming a weak little hopeful smile.
“No…” Fuck that.
“O-oh, ok. Erm, I’m gonna go back now. Forget I even asked, ok? I-I mean, don’t tell anypony I asked. I don’t want them to think I’m weird… For asking to be a cat.” Sweetie begged
“It’s fine, I won’t.” You tell her. And with that, she nods, says goodbye, and scampers back above deck. Leaving you and Tempest alone in the armory once more.
“...You really do have a lot to deal with, don’t you, Anon?” Tempest asked, a little flabbergasted that happened at all.
“Yeah. I gotta deal with them, Twilight sperging on me, A racist chancellor, a bevy of friends, an evil friend, my freaking Dad, my aunt and her sensitivity, my marefriend, and all this hero business. It really is chaotic balancing it all.” And oh so headache inducing.
“And me…” Tempest took a deep breath, and slowly released as she went and laid on her belly. “No wonder you have to keep so many secrets. Even I don’t think I could balance all that.”
“Not to sound narcissistic, but I don’t think any one pony can. Most lose their minds from the smallest stuff, I can’t imagine any of them dealing with my life.” Like, seriously, Twilight would probably go catatonic with the kind of stress you have to go through.
“I see…” Tempest slowly nodded, stood back up, and pondered to herself for a moment before walking forward. “Well, all I can say is you should try to relax then. To me, some of it sounds like you may just be trying to bite off more than you can chew.”
Wut? “What do you mean?”
“I mean, some of your stress does sound like it is unneeded. You have friends, family, and then some, and yet you don’t really seem to ask for their help for anything major. Other than now, of course. And you seem to take on too many problems, way more than what you can handle. I’m not being judgmental, I’m just saying maybe you could use some help.” Tempest explained. What? Did she want to help?
“Nopony can really help me with the kinds of stuff I’m doing. Well, maybe with this filly named Cozy Glow, but not Chrysalis. The only reason I even have these shackles is because Twilight botched things.” You say as you give your right foreleg a shake.
“Well, I know this is in hindsight, but regarding Chrysalis, you want her to accept the pony way of love and friendship, and yet you yourself don’t really follow those principles. Don’t you think it would have been to your benefit if you got someone to actually help you with that? Namely, say, your aunt?” Tempest said.
Wait, no, that can’t work… “Sort of tried that already. She pretended to be my sister, y’know, disguised as a pony. Even that didn’t work, even a party in her honor did not work.” You explain. “And she wasn’t really interested in being friends with my Aunt.”
Tempest shook her head. “That’s because no one knew who she really was. What I was suggesting was making a deal with her, asking her to actually try being friends with your aunt and arranging visitations with her in trade for… Something, that part isn’t important. What is important is the fact, I think in time, she would have learned what you were trying to show her. She’d still have you to talk to when she needed to relieve stress in case things became too annoying for her. And through your aunt, her possibilities for friendship and redemption would grow and spread. Just a thought.”
Your pupils shrink for a moment as you pondered on it. It… Did work for Discord. Though Chrysalis would have been a bitch to Fluttershy for sure… Or maybe… GYAH! She couldn’t be a bitch to Fluttershy if Discord was in the mix! She would have watched herself, you could have kept her in check, and maybe… Just maybe, she would have seen that others can care about her, despite who she was. Holy crap, why didn’t you think of that?! “Oh, geez! Crap! That’s actually really good! Dammit! Why!? Why didn’t I think of that!”
“As I said, you made it too personal a mission to do it yourself. Either way, you have help now. And if you can get me to see the light, I’m sure, this time, you’ll be able to help her too.” Tempest said, feeling sure of her words. “Just think about what I said, it might help you with anyone else who needs ‘saving’”
“Yeah… I’ll make a note of it.” Cozy Glow. Dammit, Starlight. Confidentiality or no confidentially, you’ll need to know everything she knows about Cozy Glow. Maybe she knows nothing, but she has to know something.
When you both got above deck, it was actually a pretty sweet sight to see. Capper was with Scootaloo at the helm, showing her more about commandeering the ship. Sweetie was just watching from a distance, jealous. Meanwhile Applebloom was talking to Grubber, comparing recipes while regaling him about an ingredient he’d love to have, ‘Zap Apple Jam’.
“Looks like your friends are really enjoying the visit.” Tempest tells you as a warm smile begins to form upon her muzzle.
“Yeah. I just hope this teaches them all the kinds of things I have to do, as in, the friends I hang out with and get and… I dunno, I had something there, I just don't know how to put it in words. I guess I just hope they appreciate this. Scootaloo is fine, but sometimes I feel the other two get on my business for no reason.” You say as you look upon the CMC, deep in thought.
“You probably give them some reason to sometimes. And given they are also foals, that reason is multiplied by quite a bit. Foals are curious, Anon. Don’t you get curious?” Tempest asked, chuckling a little “You can’t tell me no. You seem to get in everyone’s business if it interests you.”
“Huh?! Are you implying that I’m as bad as them!?” No way, come on! Why was she teasing you like that?!
“You said it, not me. But to be serious, I doubt you’re completely innocent in everything you do. Your cutie mark is chaos after all.” Tempest says as she closes her eyes and takes a breath, letting the winds blow through her cloak and mane. “But I don’t think that really bothers you too much, does it?”
“Er… Nah, I guess I deserve it sometimes. But not with them, they’re just nosy.” They really were. Sure, maybe some of it was warranted, but sometimes they really should learn to mind their own business.
“I believe it.” Tempest could already see the horizon becoming gold in color, the sun was beginning to set and a port town, rather grey and lifeless in color, was coming in view. “And it looks like it’s time for all of us to go pretty soon.”
“Yeah… I guess I’ll gather everyone up and get going. Before I do, though. I gotta ask you a question, Tempest.” Indeed you did. It was something you never really thought about, but given how annoying Grubber was about it, it might not hurt to ask.
“What is it?” Tempest asked.
“You think next visit, we can spar? I think I can take you, just saying.” Yeah, beating Tempest, even in a spar, would show a great improvement in your skill.
“Sure, I can always use a little training from time to time. Just to let you know though, I don’t take ‘spars’ lightly. As in, I won’t go easy on you, especially when it comes to the kind of magic you have.” Tempest informs you. Willing to fight, but not willing to show much mercy. At least in a friendly sense.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” It would only prove further how improved you’ve become if you can take her while she’s on top of her game. But alas, the day was pretty much over, and you had to get these fillies home.
It was sunset, and the visit was at its end. You opened a special portal that would take everyone back to where they needed to be, such as Applebloom back to her home. You all had your goodbyes. For Applebloom, she was happy to meet your friends and learn some of the recipes Grubber had taught her, though she also made a deal with him to sell him some zap apple jam when she was able.
For Scootaloo, she was happy and very thankful to have gotten to commandeer an airship, and even more thankful to Capper for teaching her so much about it. Enough so that she, almost without thinking, jumped and tried to hover up to hug him. A cue he took on immediately as he caught her to embrace her in a gentle and friendly little hug. He promised her one day she’d fly, one way or another, and to always look to the skies.
Sweetie Belle, of course, was jealous of such a display. She didn’t say all too much, but she did want a hug. She couldn’t truly admit her feelings to Capper, considering her friends had already told her she’d be shut down. The hug, which of course, caused her to nearly melt, would suffice for her. Capper was cool about it, he could tell what was up and he assured her that one day, she’ll find her special somepony. Sweetie only shyly told him that she didn’t know what he meant. She was lying of course, she just wanted him. But again, Capper kept it cool, told her ‘I think you do know, or maybe not. But we’ll just have to see’. Sweetie could say nothing as she blushed deeper. She couldn’t figure out if he meant he’d wait for her to grow up, or the more disappointing outcome, that she’d find someone else. Either way, she just nodded to him, said goodbye in a very shy and silent way, and went on her way.
And finally, there was you. “Heh, we gotta do this again sometime. Maybe when there’s a little action.”
“You mean you just want to show off some wicked chaos magic.” Capper said as he put his arms to his sides and shook his head. “That’s something I both want to see, and want no part in. I don’t mean anything by that, I just don’t want to end up feeling sorry for the bad guys.”
“Bah, you’ll never feel sorry for the bad guys. I don’t even feel bad for the old me. I would, because he didn’t know what taste was, but he was a jerk. The new me, I can cook, I’m the best friend anyone can ever have, and I’m Tempest’s ultimate number two.” Grubber said, self satisfied with his own comment. He chuckled, rubbed his hands together, and then gave you a beady look with a shark like smile. “Speaking of taste. So, Anon, am I or am I the best cook you've ever seen. Don’t hold back, I know how delicious my cooking was. I know you know what I’m talking about, because what I’m talking about, is world class.”
You winced at that. As good as some of Discord’s conjured or oddly cooked meals were, they didn’t hold a candle to Grubber’s, who obviously put a ton of love into what he made to make it taste so good. You had to admit defeat. “Ugh, yeah, yeah. It’s world class. You have to learn a little humility, Grubber.”
“Huh? Hey, hey, slow down, Anon.” Grubber said as he suddenly looked apologetic, even moving in to give you an awkward hug. “I like you enough that I’d never think of humiliating you. Is that what you think? That I’d just make you look dumb in front of everyone? Nah, that ain’t me anymore.” The way he said that though, it didn’t seem entirely truthful. Hell, he didn't even get what you meant at all!
God-Dammit. “I meant… Oh never mind, it’s fine. Thanks…” Goddamn, even if he was good at cooking, he still wasn’t very bright.
“You’re welcome. Anyway, I better clean all this up. I got swabbing duties tonight and I wanna get that done before installing the intercoms into the ship. Oh yeah, baby, yeah. This whole ship is gonna be hooked up with the good stuff. Seeya, Anon. Come back anytime, especially when you want to marvel some more at my awesome cooking.” Grubber said, smirking at you as he took a bow and headed off.
You look over to Tempest with a sigh, shaking your head as a small smile comes upon your face. “Tempest, I gotta know, how do you deal with that guy everyday?”
Tempest shrugs, smiling back. “His undying dedication is inspiring to me. Besides, I never have to deal with it because he never treats me anything less than his commander. Really, you should be asking Capper that question.”
“Man, that is a question that doesn’t feel right to answer. Grubber is cool, that’s all I got to say. But if I had to say something else, then I guess it’d be that he needs to dial back that pride, just a tad.” Capper said as he put his index finger and thumb close together.
Ha! Even Capper can’t hold back on how ‘high and mighty’ Grubber is. If Sweetie Belle was to get on anyone’s case, it’d have to be that guy. “I’d say more than just a tad. But I admit, he’s a really good chef. And, given that dedication, he’s a good friend to have, I think.” I mean, you had to consider this. He’d die for Tempest, right? He probably would.
“I’d like to think so too.” Tempest said with a nod before looking at you with a gentle little smile. “But then again, you’re probably just as dedicated. I can only imagine that if anyone threatened your friends, Anon, that you’d make them wish they were never born.”
“That’s what I was saying before. I know Anon is sitting on a lot of power, and as I said, I really don’t want to feel bad for any unsavory types messing with him or his friends.” Capper added.
“Heh, well, it is a little more complicated than that. Considering Chrysalis’s redemption is kind of reliant on a massive threat she made towards Twilight. But whatever, I got it handled.” You said, still confident Chrysalis would fail and turn over a new leaf.
“I’m sure you do, I really believe that now. Ah, Anon, let me say this though. You really should take things slower with everything you deal with. The more you take on, the less ability you’ll have to handle every problem that springs up. Not everything needs to be your responsibility.” Tempest advises you. She was worried for you, of course. She just didn’t want you to go crazy or lose focus on what was truly important to you, or important around you.
“I got it. Trust me.” You really did feel confident, especially now. Hell, given Neighsay still was on your ass, you were sure you could even handle him when the time comes.
“I do… So, uh, when do you plan to visit again?” Tempest looks back to make sure Grubber wasn’t around. She then moves a little closer to you and whispered. “Considering what you did to the Storm King, I just have this itch to REALLY test both your skills and mine.”
Oh? Now that was the kind of date you could pull off if she was truly that curious. “When I get the chance. Mostly when I got everything else with Chrysalis handled. Hm, but I really should be going now before the sun is gone. I actually have some business to attend to, and I really want to know what’s in that letter.”
“Then farewell, Anon. I look forward to your next visit.” Tempest said. As uniform as it sounded, she really did mean that.
“See you later, Anon. Should bring your own special little lady next time too. Trust me, you really want to swoon a girl, well, an airship across the sea is already plenty romantic. You already know Grubber will cater the whole thing, and with his cooking, it’ll be a knockout.” Capper said with a wink towards you.
Huh, that actually didn’t sound too bad. Ah, you had to make sure to tell Diamond about the shackles too. Got to make a note of that, for sure. “Thanks Capper, I just might do that. In fact, go ahead and try to charm her. I can promise you this, she won’t be interested.” Why did you even say that? It was pride, you just wanted everyone to know Diamond would never be interested in anyone else, no matter how charming.
“Big promise, my friend.” Capper said with a boisterous laugh “You don’t want to make this cat too curious now. You just might regret it.”
“We’ll see about that. Heh, anyway. Seeya guys, til’ next time.” And with final farewells, you jumped into your portal to head off into your next destination. Though, Tempest stopped you, she only had one last thing to say.
“Anon, hold on.” Tempest shouts out to you.
“Hm? What is it, Tempest?” You look back, curious as to what she had to say.
“I just wanted to ask if you think your marefriend would like me. D-don’t look too deeply into that question, I’m just curious.” And so that odd timidness in Tempest showed itself once more. It seemed she was confident in just about everything but one thing, friendship. And as well as today went with everyone else, she still seemed to feel awkward towards her own likability.
“Trust me, she will like you just fine. She considers Chrysalis a sister already, so you’d probably be like an aunt.” You tell her, in a way that would lift her spirits. Hell, that would lift anyone’s spirits, you think. And you meant it too, Tempest really would be that cool aunt who travels the world and stuff.
“I see, I, uh. Hm… Well, I can’t wait to meet her. Until then, you take care, Anon.” Tempest said, her smile warmer, her tone softer. Your words soothed her timid yet militaristic heart. As even for her, friendship was truly magic.
“You take care too, Tempest.” And with that, you headed off through the portal. But not back home, as one might think. No, you headed off to Cozy’s room in Twilight’s school. Even though you were told to relax, you still felt like you had an obligation to check up on her and make sure she was ok.
You stepped out through the other side of the portal into Cozy’s room. “Cozy? Hey, sorry to just drop in, hah. Just wanted to make… Hm.” Seems she wasn’t around though. Odd, you’d think she would be given the evening has come, and yet she was nowhere to be found. “Damn, she’s somewhere else. Maybe she’s hanging out with some new friends? I couldn’t blame her for using the compass as soon as… Hm?” As you spoke to yourself and looked around the room, you noticed a lantern, still lit, sitting on her desk. Seems she hasn’t been gone for too long if she left it burning, perhaps she was just doing something real quick and just coming back? You also note a newspaper was sitting on the desk. You get curious and decide to investigate.
You begin to take a look, reading and scanning the paper that laid before you. “What in the… This is the story about me and Discord. It’s already out? In one day? No, no, the date is set for tomorrow. That’s weird, how did Cozy get an early copy of this? Why? She couldn’t have been in the classroom when all of that was going on. Hmmm…” You began to ponder deeper and deeper to yourself. The classroom was small, and Cozy is already very noticeable, at least to you, so that isn’t it, she wasn’t there. And then you noticed various passages within the story was highlighted, all of it having to do with chaos magic and how it worked. Why would she be highlighting that? Is it because of you?
Cozy somehow knew about the lesson, and snatched one of the newspapers that was to be released the next day. She then highlighted all passages having to do with chaos and how it works. All of it could mean so many different things. But the most likely thing may have to do with the compass. Oh god, was that it? She always referred to you as ‘professor’, and you were pretty much her best friend, and when you throw the compass into the mix, then maybe it meant…
Suddenly, both Tempest and Starlight’s voices began to ring in your head. Your obsession with helping those you care about, that you felt desperately needed your help, that’s what caused this. You could hear Starlight now, telling you that Cozy was now dependent on you. And then there was Tempest, who had told you to relax with this type of shit. Now you were in a situation where, most likely, Cozy would be asking for your chaotic expertise with any and all friendship problems. She was probably studying up on chaos to know what to ask for. The only question that remained was how she knew about the paper. Did someone tell her about it? Well, given it was you and Discord doing some crazy shit, word must have gotten around. She must have been desperate to find out what happened and snatched one of the newspapers.
You needed to find out more about Cozy Glow, but you didn’t want to ask her directly, you didn’t want her to know you had been snooping around her room. Starlight, maybe she knew something. Sure, she said she can’t divulge information about the students she talks to, but she was also one of your best friends, so she had to be willing to give something up.
Using your magic, you turned yourself into a shadow that melted into the floor. Able to glide without truly being noticed, you travel past Cozy’s door and into the main halls of the school. Mostly empty, it seemed. There seemed to be some students still studying or going into their own rooms, too busy to notice a roaming shadow such as yourself.
Even as a shadow, you are still able to use your magic. Using your close connection to Starlight, you let your horn pull you towards her office. Upon reaching the door, you glide under it and into a rather inviting little room. It had furnishings, carpet, a set of tea placed on a table on the side, and even a sofa sitting across from Starlight’s desk. And behind the desk was Starlight herself, talking to herself for some reason.
“Alright, Starlight. Day three is nearly gone and nothing wrong has happened so far. Got my room in the castle completely set, got my office fully furnished, all the students seem pretty content with the advice you’ve given them so far, you're relaxed enough to help Trixie tonight without any issue, Twilight is optimistic despite all the crap she’s going through right now, and ah… Yeah, crap, human words, got to totally get that out of my system. Only let it slip once, but it was still hard trying to explain away the word ‘fuck’.” Starlight takes a deep breath, steadies herself, and slowly exhales as she relaxes herself further. “There, I’m ok, everything is a-ok.”
“Heya Starlight!” You let out as you manifest yourself on her surprisingly comfy couch.
“FUCK!” Starlight screams out as she falls backwards on her chair. Shaking due to her own nerves, she peeks above her desk and notices you. She then hops back on her chair, looking at you with a sour expression. “Anon! Did you have to do that?! There is a door, you know?!”
You chuckle, that was a pretty adorable and hilarious response. Guess it really wasn’t out of her system yet. “Sorry, Starlight. I didn’t even know you were really here. I didn’t spook you too badly, did I?” You say, knowing full well that you did.
“Spooked me? N-no, like I said, I just expect everycreature to use the door. But…” Starlight sighs, and looks to you with a smile. “It is nice to see you, I’ve been alone here for an entire hour checking and double checking and even triple checking everything and I think, as long as no student shows up, that a small break is just what I need. But, why are you here? Do you have any new information on Chrysalis?”
“Actually, no. This is more of a friend type visit. As in, well, do you know Cozy Glow? Has she come to talk to you about anything?” Just go straight into it, expect her not to want to divulge info, and work from there.
“I have, but only once, it has only been three days after all. I can’t tell you what we talked about other than the fact that I know she’s your friend. Heck, makes me wonder why you even need to take classes here considering you’re already making good friends with the students before even attending the school, but I’m sure Twilight and the others have their reasons. Either way, Anon, good job. But then… Why are you asking about her? Is there something wrong?” Starlight asked. And then, the fact that she had to ask could possibly mean that Cozy had not told her the trouble she was having.
“Look, Starlight, I need you to be straight with me, ok? I’ll have stuff I have to tell you, because I actually need your help sorting my own shit out. But I need you to give me something, please?” You were practically begging her to be more open about what she knew. You had to have this talk, you had to get your own thoughts sorted out.
“Anon, you know I can’t…” Starlight sighs, leans back on her chair, observing you for a moment. She could see it, she could see you were being more genuine than she’s ever seen you before. And considering you needed help with someone who wasn’t an evil psychopath, Starlight couldn’t even guess what got you in such a sudden funk. “But, as your friend, I can maybe tell you a few things, off the record, but it depends on what it is.”
Good, that was something. Maybe you can work with that. “Thanks, Starlight. Erm, it isn’t too huge or anything like that. All I really want to know is if she’s been having trouble in school. Y’know, making friends and stuff.”
Starlight just stared silently at you for a moment, puzzled. “No… I don’t think so.”
Wut? “You don’t think so? As in, she didn’t tell you anything about it? Or you just can’t tell me.”
“Hmmm…” Starlight stood up and walked past you, putting her ear to the door for some reason, maybe checking to see if anyone was nearby? She then looked to you as she went back to her seat, her expression more serious. “As in she really didn’t say anything about it, at least the making friends part. She said she made friends with you, and that you’ve been like a professor to her. The only trouble I can say she has been having is just due to a lack of confidence in herself. I won’t go deeper than that, but that’s basically it.”
Lack of confidence? Well, you did get that feeling. But it wasn't more than that? “What about with the other students? She didn’t say any of them were mean to her?”
“Not that I know of. She never mentioned having trouble with the students, she just didn’t seem to be confident interacting with many of them. There’s also the fact that she kinda may be already having trouble with the material, which is weird because she seems generally friendly. But again, that’s all I’m willing to say about that.” Starlight told you. Really, that’s all you needed to hear thus far. So did Cozy not tell Starlight everything she told you? Maybe, you couldn’t be so sure. Something was off. Or she was becoming dependent on you already.
“Hm, then…” It seemed even if Cozy herself wasn’t aware of it, it was still true. She seemed to be becoming reliant on you, on all things friendship. You sigh, and prepare to tell Starlight what has happened on your side. “Starlight, look, you’re my friend, and I haven’t been too open with you lately.”
“Anon?” Starlight was now confused. She also began to subconsciously brace herself, expecting the worst. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah. It’s just, about Cozy. I’ve gotten closer to her than I should have, not in a love way, in a… Obsessive way.” Oh boy, here we go.
“Obsessive way? You mean like you did with Chrysalis? Anon…” Starlight looks into your eyes as you stare into hers. At first, you immediately thought she’d just lay into you there and then. But she didn’t, she just sat there and nodded to you. She could already tell from your look that it was a ‘yes’. “I see. Well, it’s not like Cozy Glow is some sort of evil mastermind or anything. You shouldn’t be obsessive, but, from how this all has gone so far, it just sounds like you’re really worried about her, that’s all.”
“Well, there’s more to it. She told me she doesn’t really have any friends besides me. I felt bad for her, so I conjured up a compass which would lead to her heart’s true desire. Which, of course, is just a friend. The problem is I was in her room. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have been snooping, but I found out she was studying up on how chaos magic works. I think my want to help her so badly has made her dependent on my magic, as in, to help her make more friends. I just wanted to help her, that’s all.”
“Oh boy, ok, that is a lot more than I had been expecting. Buuuuut, it’s definitely not as bad as it could be. Anon…” Starlight got up again, opened her door to look around, making sure no one was listening in, and closed it once she was sure everything was clear. She wouldn’t normally check for eavesdroppers, she expected better from everyone, but she didn’t want anyone, by chance, catching a listen on this particular conversation. She began to speak to you, calmly, almost like a mother as she returned to her desk. “I’m here for you. If you want to get this all off your chest, or you need my advice, anything at all, I’m here. Anything you have to say does not leave this room. Even if Twilight asks me about it, I won’t tell her a thing, I promise.”
You perked up from hearing that. You knew you could count on Starlight. Hell, she wasn’t even spazzing about what you did. You knew, for sure, if Twilight found out, she’d probably spout some shit about you basically giving Cozy Glow a few underhanded cheats to help her through her friendship issues. “Thanks Starlight. Yeah, I am looking for a little advice. I mean, I already know I shouldn’t give her any more of that kind of help. I’m just wondering what will happen when she does ask for it. I don’t want her to feel like I don’t like her. I know how kids can be, she just might see it the wrong way.”
“Well, Anon, I guess I’d be here for her on that one. If she does take it that way, she’ll come to me for guidance. And, Wellllll, y’know, I can smooth things over for you. I know telling her that will be tough, and it may hurt her feelings, but it has to be done. This school, the faculty, and even the students, it’s all about friendship. I feel using magic to cheat through that would rob anycreature of the genuine love and warmth friendship gives you when you have it. I was also thinking about the compass, and if you were thinking of asking for it back, don’t. It might be better to let her have that one while explaining to her that it’s the only thing you’ll help her with with your magic. Just tell her it's just a push in the right direction. Be there for her as a friend, but don’t help her cheat is what I’m basically saying here.” Starlight explained.
Yeah, that makes sense. You had thought about taking the compass away, but she was right, taking it away and then telling her you wouldn’t help her anymore might make things implode. Letting her keep it is probably the best way to go about things, it’ll make telling her that you can’t help her magically from this point on a lot easier. “Yeah, that works. Thanks, Starlight.” You probably could have come up with that one on your own, but it was better to have her opinion since she had actually spoken to Cozy.
“Awesome, problem solved. Wooo, this is a lot easier when it doesn’t deal with a big evil threat. Er, not insulting Chrysalis… Sorta. Well, you know. Ahrm.” Starlight coughed, feeling a little nervous insulting Chrysalis like that in front of you. Added to the fact she’s supposed to be more neutral now due to her job and it made her sheepish smile all the more shaky.
“It’s alright, Starlight, she probably likes being called that anyway. Erm, actually, I do have another problem I had wanted to go over with you. This one is kinda… Much bigger.” You say, nervousness entering your voice as you put on your horn and conjure up an envelope. It had already been torn through, but the letter inside was still there. Yep, you were really doing this.
“Uhhhh, how much bigger? Y-you didn’t befriend, like, another villain, did you?” Starlight said as her own anxiety began to mount.
“That is a matter of perspective actually. Um, so uhhh, let me ask. Have you heard any rumors of the school having a spy?” Heeeeeere we go.
“A spy? I mean, unless you mean Spike’s crazy theory on it. He thinks Chancellor Neighsay has somepony planted here observing the students and the staff. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the guy doesn’t seem genuine on how happy he is that everything is working out, but he’s a top EEA official, I doubt he’s actively trying to sabotage the sch- Wait, Anon, are you asking that question because you know there’s a spy? And you know who it is?” Starlight asked as she came to the closely correct realization that you knew what was up.
“Sorta, mostly, look…” You sigh, and look to Starlight with a shattered frown. Sorta faking it if only to try to soften the blow by looking pathetically adorable. “I really need you to keep this between us, ok?”
“Anon, yeah, of course. I mean, it’ll be hard to deal with if it’s just between us, but I’m sure we can come up with something. Does it have to do with that envelope? Are you and the spy friends?” Starlight asked as she observed the envelope in your hooves.
“Starlight, I am the spy.” You say, plain as day.
“Oh, you’re the spy? Ok, that-WAIT! YOU’RE THE SPY?! THE HELL?!” Starlight yelled out as she fell back on her chair once more.
“Starlight! Geez! Don’t yell that out loud, ok? Yes, I’m the spy. Geez, I didn’t really wanna be, it just sort of happened…” You try to explain as you begin to take a look at the letter. “He just sort of made me his spy to make sure everything went ok here at the school, and with the students. The guy genuinely seems to care about the students well being… As long as they're ponies. It’s not like I’m on his side though, I haven’t given him anything that would get the school shut down.”
Starlight quickly got back up and rushed past her desk to stand directly in front of you. She was already in panic mode. “But, Anon, why wouldn’t you tell anypo- Wait, don’t answer that one, I know why. Still, you can’t just go around spying on everycreature. How exactly did you even end up working for him?!”
“Really? It kinda happened after the whole exam thing. If I remember correctly, I was simply ensuring an educational future for Diamond and myself, mostly Diamond. And, well, I guess after the dragon attack, I sort of saw into his point. But after meeting everycreature, like Smolder, I can tell he was wrong. Look, even in this letter, he wants me to keep him updated and to keep an eye on everycreature that isn’t a pony. And I can tell you right now that nothing is going to come up. But Starlight, please, you have to understand that this wasn’t really my fault. I don’t want to be a spy. Hell, I was thinking of just dropping the whole thing and telling him off. I just… I don’t want to ruin anything for the Riches though, since Diamond is tied into it.” It really was a tough call. Sure, you could keep the whole spy thing up anyway. But if Twilight and the others found out, or if Starlight told them…
“Anon… Oh boy, oh boy.” Starlight said as she hopped onto the sofa, sitting next to you. She leans over a bit to look at the letter herself. She even snatches it with her magic to get a better look. “Just as you said, it looks like he wants you to let him know the moment something is up. But…” Starlight’s once manic tone began to calm near immediately. “You’re not going to, at least in a way that would make him close down the school, right?”
“No, and like I said, I kind of want a way out of this. I just feel bad that I could ruin this school’s chances just because I try to bail or he somehow decides I’m not reliable and tries something more drastic. I’d just use my chaos magic to warp his mind or something, but eh, then Twilight would most likely find out and that’d just be another mess.” Like seriously, you could use your chaos magic to do something, but if you out yourself, Twilight, or even Celestia might find out and ruin you.
“Well, given we have to deal with the school and Chrysalis, adding Chancellor Neighsay to the mix would really make things difficult.” Starlight says as she walks over to her desk once more and puts the letter away in her desk. She then looks to you with a smirk. “Of course, if you continue to do what you’re doing, then we’ll never have to deal with him at all.”
Wut? “Uhhhhh, what? What do you mean? That guy is nosy as fuck, Starlight. He’d know something is up sooner or later.”
“Only if you give him a reason to suspect something. Anon, I think I already came up with a solution for this.” Starlight said as she put on a scheming smile. “Let me ask, do you know how Twilight and her friends beat me?”
“Yeah, actually. You basically somehow thought my aunt was on your side, she found out your secret, and by the skin of her teeth, revealed your cutie mark. I dunno, Starlight, thinking about it now, I just gotta tell you that you probably should have just mind controlled them or something. It seems pretty stupid to think they’d just break and be on your side.” Like seriously, what did she think was going to happen?
“Stupid?! That plan was brilliant and it nearly worked! Nopony holds out that… Ugh, no, no, no. I am NOT going to argue that with you. Wait, yes I am, because how was I supposed to know that Fluttershy was faking it? Hm? I didn’t know them from before, and given my success, nopony who had their cutie marks taken came out of that shed planning to take me down.” Starlight growled as she leaned forward, feeling she was right.
“I mean, I dunno.” You shrugged “You know them now, and er, we already know my aunt would never straight betray her friends. Like, never ever, she’s too soft for that.”
“But that’s… right.” Starlight said, pausing for a moment, before groaning and plopping her face on the desk. “Why did I even bother arguing that if it was so obvious?”
“Er, dunno, it just, well, you just got tricked so hard that you went along with it as if… you… OH! I get it! Ha, no, right, that is pretty simple actually. Just ‘play’ the part as spy and keep the guy happy so he never has a reason to think otherwise. I mean, I was pretty much going to do that already, but do you think I can keep it up for that long?”
“Not alone. I’m sure eventually he’d think you weren’t doing your job properly or think you aren’t with him anymore and come to check on things himself. But, with a little help, and a little crafty trickery on my part, I’m sure we can keep him at bay up until he realizes that no student, not one, is going to be a problem.” Starlight said with a snicker
“Wow, Starlight? Willing to go that far, huh?” Like, seriously, you didn’t expect her to actually join in on this.
“Not too far, just enough. Anon, you’re a good guy, really. And it’s not even really you… Sometimes, mostly. It’s just on the ‘not sometimes’, it just seems to be the chaos around you that ropes you into messes like these. We all know that, I accept that. You’re one of my best friends, Anon. You helped me become the mare I am today, and I owe you so much… Even if I do give you crap sometimes anyway. Look, what I’m trying to say is that I’m not going to let you do this alone. I have your back.” Starlight said, bringing a hoof to her chest as you gives you a sure nod. “Don’t worry, Anon. I’m sure we can handle him without a problem.”
“S-Starlight.” Your eyes began to water. Ah damn, it really made your heart feel warm and tingly when someone says something like that to you. “Are you sure he won’t find out? W-we’ll be pulling this con for the whole year, m-maybe more.”
“Hopefully it won’t take him that long to realize how wrong he is. All you have to do is keep up your reports while I personally deal with him whenever he decides to make a casual visit. All I have to do is show him that every nonpony is just as good and friendly as anypony else. No problem, not for us, anyway. We got bigger things to worry about than him.” Starlight, she sure seemed really confident all of a sudden. With her on your side, things really should be a lot easier. Hell, at this point, you were sure you could handle Cozy Glow too. Yeah boy, you got this!
You run over to Starlight and give her a great big hug. Yes, finally, it felt good to be at the same wavelength. It felt really good to know she had your back. Scootaloo was fine, but Starlight was someone you just wanted on your side for something like this, at least once. It just felt good to know she was going so far with it as to not even mention a word to Twilight, nor anyone else either. “Thanks, Starlight! Y-you’re awesome!”
“Anon…” Starlight said, softly, as she slowly wrapped a single hoof around you, embracing you in a gentle hug. “You too. And you will always be awesome to me, I don’t think there is anypo-”
“Starlight!” Came the cry of a very familiar and very arrogant blue pony as she just barged through the door “You’re already two minutes late and you promised me, the Great and Powerful TRIXIIIEEE, to help with my trick. And yet here you are, talking to Anon, who isn’t even a student yet by the way, instead of trotting on over to my wagon to get things ready. Also, hello Anon, how are you? BUT WHY ARE YOU ALSO TAKING UP TRIXIE’S PRECIOUS TIME!?”
“DAMMIT!” Starlight said, frightened once again as she hopped upwards in a fright. She then, realizing it was Trixie, looked over at her angrily and began to shout. “Trixie! What have we talked about barging in like that?! You’re supposed to knock, remember?! Everycreature is supposed to knock!”
“Yes, but Trixie felt the need to be dramatic and angry. You did promise, you know? This is the first time you’re late, and Trixie would like it if it’s the last time.” Trixie said, raising her head snootily high, feeling she was right.
“Trixie…” Starlight sighed as she shook her head disapprovingly. “I know I’m late, but I was dealing with something serious. Look, I’ll be free in a couple more minutes. Can you just wait outside for me, please?”
“Oh, erm, ok. But we do understand that this can’t be a thing that happens a lot, right?” Trixie said, a little more subdued, but still wanting her way in the long run.
“I’ll do my best on that, Trixie. This work is important to me, just like helping you is important to me. We still have plenty of time to practice it, since the trick only works at night. It really wouldn’t hurt if I’m just a few more minutes late, right?” Starlight asked, desperately wanting Trixie to cut her shit out.
“I… Suppose. And it would give Trixie time to prepare snacks for us both. Alright, fine, Trixie shall go now. But…” Trixie sighed, and looked to Starlight with a frown. “Hurry up, please? I’m really excited to try this. Anon, I’d invite you, but I wouldn’t want you to see what we’re practicing until it is perfect. I hope you understand.”
“I understand, Trixie. Um, me and Starlight are pretty much done too, so I won’t keep her much longer.” You tell her. Things have gone well so far, and you just wanted to make sure you send this off well before leaving.
“Well, er, not much longer should be good enough. Yes, because practicing this trick? Ohhh yes, it’ll be the greatest thing anypony has ever seen! Once it is perfected of course. Wait! You’re not even supposed to know there is a trick, hence why we had been practicing in secret! Gyah! Darn it, Trixie, darn it.” Trixie said as she gave her head a few smacks with her hoof. She took a moment to recollect herself before looking back at you, a little nervous, but still showing her usual bravado. “W-well, it doesn’t matter. Because for all the chaos magic you have, you will still marvel at the greatness that is TRIIIIIXXXIIIEE!”
God, you’d get annoyed if she wasn’t so adorable with her proclamations. “I’m sure I will, Trixie. Your tricks are always fun to watch.”
“Hmph, they are more than ‘fun’, but I will accept that observation since we are good friends. Now, I must be going, so you both can finish, and then Starlight can be going, er, coming to practice. Farewell!” Trixie said, dramatically of course, as she made her exit and shut the door.
“Well, now that got me curious. What even is the trick?” You turn to Starlight, curious as to what got Trixie so riled up.
“Can’t say, Anon. Not even due to my job, just because Trixie made me promise not to actually say what it is. You’ll just have to find out when Trixie and I perfect it.” Starlight explains with a giggle, finding Trixie’s little antic there cute at the end. “So, are you ready for school tomorrow? Like, really ready?”
“I hang around you guys all the time, I think I can handle it. Besides, I already lived one lifetime, going through a ‘friendship’ school will be easier than a normal school, for sure. I mean, I’m already good at friendship.” You say with a smirk, shrugging.
“I know, I know. Like I said, it’s Twilight who has a reason for you being here, even if I don’t really get it myself. Ah well. I really should be going now though, I did make a promise to Trixie.” Starlight said as she began to walk back towards the door.
“Yeah. I guess I’ll go to Aunt Fluttershy’s for the night. I’m sure she’d really like me to be there so she can send me off to her own class, I guess. Whatever, It’ll make her happy, and I like making her happy.” You say.
“I’m sure it will. Anyway, just remember you can always come to me if you need my help, my door is always open… Unless I’m not here, but I’m sure you know what I mean by now.” Starlight said.
“I know.” You say as you plop on your horn once more. Ah, it was over. Three days of unlimited power, and you really only got to abuse it in a fight. Ah well, you got what you wanted out of it. “Goodnight, Starlight. Seeya tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow, Anon. Sweet dreams.” Starlight says. And with that, you both headed off for the night.
You appeared in front of Fluttershy’s cottage, night had already fallen as the moon still continued its ascent upwards.
Knowing you should be more courteous to Fluttershy more than anyone else, aside from Diamond of course, you knock on the door, and prep yourself by looking up with a cheery smile. But as the moments passed, there was no answer, nor did there seem to be any noise coming from the other side of the door.
“Wha? Asleep already?” You asked yourself.
You try knocking again. Still no sound, or none too obvious to you. However, this time, the door opens, if ever so slightly, to reveal Angel’s head, looking up at you for a moment before trying to shoo you away.
“Yeah, I ain’t going anywhere. Look, is Aunt Fluttershy awake or not? I kinda wanna sleep here for the night a-Son of a bitch!” You shout as Angel shuts the door on you, midsentence. Welp, the time for pleasantries was over. You teleport inside the cottage, right in front of Angel, who falls on his back in shock as a large carrot flies out of his paws. No sign of Fluttershy though, and the only light was a single small candle placed on a table. By Angel? Did he put that there? “As I was saying. I’m sleeping here for the night.”
Angel paid no attention to you, not at first anyway, as he quickly went for the carrot and hugged onto it. He then looked to you with a scowl, and tried to shoo you away again. He seemed more adamant than usual to keep you away from the cottage. Then there was the odd fact he was still awake while Fluttershy was asleep. It’s not that he couldn’t be awake, there was STILL quite some time left before things really settled down, but the fact he had that carrot meant… Oooohhhh.
“Yeah, no, I ain’t leaving, not unless you want me to tell Aunt Fluttershy you’ve been sneaking around and taking her food while she’s asleep.” And upon saying that, Angel flinched and immediately backed down. Bingo! Finally, you truly had something on the little cunt.
Angel shook his head frantically, then quickly hopped near a cabinet to put the carrot away as he gave you a sheepish smile. He then shifted his eyes towards the stairs to Fluttershy’s room, and moved his paws to suggest for you to go up.
“Thought so. You shouldn’t be doing that though, Angel. Aunt Fluttershy trusts you, you shouldn’t go breaking her trust like that.” You tell him. You didn’t want Fluttershy to be upset over stolen carrots, he should know better than that.
Angel, however, then looked to you as he narrowed his eyes. He then took on a scary stance as he got on all fours, and hissed almost like Chrysalis would, but quieter and cuter.
“What? She knows about that already. Or are you implying I’m also a sneak?” Who does he think he is? You had to do what you had to do, everything else you can improve upon now that you figured out not to obsess over it. “You barely even leave this cottage, so you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Angel simply rolled his eyes, makes his ears look like Fluttershy’s mane, and then sits down and starts talking in a soft and unintelligible garbled mess.
…Great. “Ok, so Aunt Fluttershy may have told you some stuff. Fine, whatever, I’m not like that anymore and she only worries because, I guess, some of the things I do may be worrying. Look, Angel, what do you want from me? You want to just continue the truce? I have school tomorrow and I really just want a good night’s rest. I won’t mention to Aunt Fluttershy that you tried anything if you cut the crap, ok?”
Angel sighed, waved his paw, and groaned. He then went to return to Fluttershy’s room, you following along with him. When you got up there, you could see her resting, she looked more tired than usual. As some of her mane didn’t seem as well kept as she usually kept it.
“Is she ok? Doesn’t she usually go to sleep a little later than this?” You ask Angel.
Angel made a bunch of stances resembling other animals, before making a more stern instructor like stance. Oh… “Right, the sanctuary, forgot that was a thing. She also has to balance that with Buckball, doesn’t she? Christ…” You look to Angel with a soft look, feeling bad for Fluttershy. “Look, let’s just get along, ok? For her. I bet she’d be really happy to see both of us getting along and being nice to each other.” But to your words, Angel just sat there and pondered, eyeing you as if plotting to get rid of you altogether. You roll your eyes, summon up a small carrot snack, and roll it over to him. “Fine, I’ll trade you this if you don’t give me a hard time.” And with that, he nods, grabs onto the carrot, and starts nibbling it to see if it was good. It was, of course, good, you didn’t need to piss off the fucker.
With that, Angel ate the carrot rather quickly, jumped onto the bed, and tapped on Fluttershy’s belly to get her to roll to the side facing you. He then patted a spot right in front of her for you to lay down on, and hopped onto her side to curl up and sleep. Welp, she’ll no doubt be happy to see you tomorrow, so here we go. You carefully hop onto her bed and slowly maneuver yourself to lay in front of her belly. Hm, you have gotten a little bigger, but not by much, you could still snuggle with her like usual. You wish she was awake enough for her to move her wing over you though, but it was fine, the blanket would do. You close your eyes, and drift off to sleep… Hoping for no Luna.
The night passes into morning day, sunlight filling the land, and breaching the window of every home. It was something you had to get used to at times, as the chaos dimension had no sun to illuminate your room, which always somehow stayed illuminated without a light anyway. You slowly open your eyes and… What?! “A-aunt Fluttershy?” She was gone… Or maybe, she wasn’t? You could hear humming coming from downstairs, as well the satisfied voice of a certain baby dragon. “Spike?” You slowly crawl out of bed and head downstairs, when you get down, you could see three glasses of juice set up on a table that was placed in the middle of the carpet. At one of the seats was Spike, who seemed to be awaiting a meal.
“So, should I go wake up Anon now? Or…” Spike asked as he looked upon Fluttershy, who seemed to have finished making something.
“Oh no no, not yet.” Fluttershy said as she let something from a pot slip into three bowls. She then began to use her wings to carefully set them on the table. “I want breakfast to be ready for him, with everything cooled at just the right temperature so he can start eating the moment he comes down. “
“I mean, he can just blow on it.” Spike said with a shrug as he looked into his own bowl. From what you can see, it looked like oatmeal, no doubt a very healthy variety, made just for you. Spike just kind of stared at it, and picked at it with a claw and sniffed. “No sugar or anything?”
“Oh no, that would make Anon hyper and then later, sleepy, and he doesn’t need to be either of those things on his first day. This oatmeal is a special recipe, made to make sure he stays energized and healthy.” Fluttershy said with a satisfied smile on her face.
“Yeah…” Spike brings his claws to his mouth and gives it a lick. He cringes, seems the oatmeal was rather bitter. “I guess it’s healthy, but I would have just gone with some cereal or something.”
“Oh, cereal is decent, but only homemade and specially prepared meals are good enough not only for Anon, but all my friends, including all my animal friends too.” Fluttershy says cheerfully.
“Hoo boy” Spike said in a low voice, obviously dissatisfied. “I feel bad for… Anon? Oh, hey, good morning, didn’t expect you to be up yet.” Spike said as he waved over to you.
“Anon? Awww, you didn’t have to wake up just yet, it is still early for you and your meal hasn’t cooled yet. B-but, how was your sleep? I didn’t expect you to show up last night, especially after Angel told me that heartbreaking story where you had a nightmare and nearly wet your bed, I could tell why he was so eager to let you in. And it’s because of that that I made sure to make you this wonderful breakfast, just in case you still felt a little tired from lack of sleep.” Fluttershy, courteous as ever, seemed to be more worried about you than usual simply due to some bullshit story Angel told her. Christ, why did he even tell her that?! For kicks?! What a sick fuck that rabbit can be.
Spike had a bit of a snicker before catching himself. He cleared his throat and pulled out an envelope, placing it on the table. “Got your schedule for you, Anon. Finalized this morning by Twilight after Starlight made some suggestions. I dunno what got her so invested in your scheduling considering it matches up with what Twilight originally planned out for you, but Starlight felt since you were already friends with so many creatures already, then it’d be best for you to be close to them and learn more about them. Twilight thought it was a great idea, she’s even proud of the progress you’ve made before even going in for your first day of class.”
“Oh, it doesn’t surprise me at all, Anon is a natural. And with the help of the school, well, he might even become an element of harmony himself one day!” Fluttershy said with a cute, yet sure, little giggle.
WHAT?! GOOD GOD NO! THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY WOULD LEAD TO SO MUCH STUPID SHIT! Like, seriously, you don’t need to deal with an actual ‘team’ when you have an item that’d let you do anything you need to do anyway. Not hating on anyone, but you were more than capable of dealing with things yourself. “Y-yeah, sure. Erm, uh, I’m just gonna take a seat. I already can’t get over how good the food smells.” You lied.
Spike raised an eyebrow at you, but Fluttershy was just delighted to hear you say that. “Oh, you’ll love it, Anon. It is specially made oatmeal mixed with healthy little bits of fruit and shredded pieces of celery. I even put in a whole slice of apple to enhance the taste. It won’t taste too sweet though, there’s no added sugar in it at all, but I bet you’ll love it anyway!”
You probably won’t. “I bet I will.” You say as you join Spike and Fluttershy at the table.
Fluttershy giggled again as she too took a seat to enjoy the simply made and healthy breakfast. “And to think, after breakfast, we can go to the school together. It’s a shame your father couldn’t be here this morning. He tried, but he suddenly seemed upset and left before I could ask him what was wrong. All he left was your saddle bag.”
“I think it’s because Anon is going to a school specifically for friendship and headed by Twilight. He totally had a spaz when I told him that Twilight wouldn’t tolerate any chaotic pranks. Dunno why he had to cry though, I would have thought he’d already knew that.” Spike shrugged.
“Well, I don’t think Dad even knows proper etiquette is a thing sometimes. Also, ‘tolerate’ is a strong word to use. No one has tried pulling anything at the school at all, really, not even a tiny prank?” You asked, finding it hard to believe there isn’t at least one problem student.
“Not so far. Even then, Twilight isn’t just going to toss them out, not unless it was something heinous. Heck, when Twilight says ‘chaotic pranks’, she means things like flipping the school upside down or something like that. I doubt a little prank here and there, but like, not more than two, won’t make Twilight lose her marbles. I mean, Rainbow Dash considers herself a prank master and we haven’t even thought of throwing her out yet. Yeah, she hasn’t tried anything. But even if she did, unless she went crazy with it, I doubt Twilight wouldn’t do anything more than lecture her or something.” Spike explained as he took his bowl and picked at it some more.
“Well, I don’t think they’ll be anything to worry about anyway. Our school is a peaceful, open, and very loving place, accepting of everycreature, even if they come from another dimension. Anon will do just fine, and he’ll be the most well behaved there. Right, Anon?” Fluttershy asked, in a genuinely ignorant way as she looked over to you with a warm smile. Spike nearly snorted in a laugh there, even he knew that was mostly bullshit.
“Y-yeah, no problem, if I can make friends with changelings, dragons, and yaks, then not causing any trouble with anycreature should be a cinch.” You say as your eyes look over to the bowl. Whatever, it can’t be any worse than that ‘medicine’ you had to take from way back. You quickly grab the bowl, and scarf the oatmeal down in one swallow. Well, it seemed like it still needed some cooling, but it wasn’t too scalding, and one swig of your juice cooled you down quickly. Although, Fluttershy was suddenly just staring at you. Why? “Aunt Fluttershy, what’s wrong?”
“E-erm, nothing really, I-I just didn’t expect you to be so hungry. H-have you been eating enough, Anon?” Fluttershy asked, worried about your health.
The truth was simple though, you simply didn’t want to have to deal with the taste. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be, but it still tasted weird and was bitter in a way. Not hard to handle, but still unpleasant to the taste buds. “Oh, no, I have. Just, you know, your cooking is always the best, Aunt Fluttershy!”
“Aww, it’s just oatmeal. But thank you anyway, Anon, you’re so sweet.” Fluttershy said as she gave you a kiss on the forehead. “I can see why your marefriend is so attached to you, you must treat her like a princess.”
Spike had to turn away to scoff to himself, he even whispered. “Too bad she’ll split him in two if he does anything else.”
“What was that, Spike?” Fluttershy asked, not hearing what he said.
“Oh, uh. Nothing, was just passing Anon his schedule.” Spike said as he slid the envelope over to you. “You got Applejack first, and she’s still sort of grumpy about the whole ‘O&O’ session. Just saying, just try not to rile her up or anything.”
“Hmph, I don’t think she should be angry at all. From everything you and Discord told me about it, it sounded like a very fun session. A little more violent than I like, but to hear that you accommodated for Anon’s marefriend and even worked as a team to beat up the bad guys makes me glad you all had good fun. I think Applejack is being a prude, she doesn’t even remember everything that happened.” Fluttershy, being defensive of you and Discord, just shook her head at the shame of Applejack’s attitude. “She knows you all have a game night, her own brother is part of it after all, she should know a dimensional pocket was going to be in the middle of the room.”
Wew, seems no one told her about King Sombra, and it seemed Applejack didn’t know about that detail either. “Y-yeah, totally agree with you there, Aunt Fluttershy.”
Spike also seemed rather uneasy at the mention of it, seems he didn't want to get into a conversation about it with the possibility of King Sombra being brought up. “Yeeeah. Well, anyway, I gotta head back to the school. With everything going on with Twilight, she’s going to need her number one assistant at her side.”
“But what about… Oh.” Fluttershy noticed Spike already hurrying off, and before she could stop him, he had already gone. “I guess he wasn’t hungry. Oh well, more for you, Anon. Did you want seconds?” Fluttershy asked, looking back at you with her cheerful smile.
“Oh, no no, that’s fine. Erm, don’t want to overdo it.” You say, quickly tearing into the envelope with your teeth to look at your schedule. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy. That was the order of your classes. Not too bad, you were sure Fluttershy’s classes would be a good and relaxing way to close the school day. “Looks like I get you last, Aunt Fluttershy.”
“Oh? Well, that’s alright. It means that if you need any extra help after class, then you’ll already be in the right place.” Fluttershy said with a nod. She then began to eat her own bowl of oatmeal. She didn’t seem at all bothered by the taste.
Hooooooo boy… Well, that doesn’t sound too bad. You didn’t really need any help, but you wouldn’t mind spending time with her, or helping her out with clean up or something like that. You don’t really hang out with Fluttershy too much now that you thought about it, you really should though, and you have no excuse with the way your schedule is set up. “Yeah, that’s pretty cool. So, er, do I just show up to class or do I see Twilight first? Spike didn’t say.”
“I’m sure you only need to show up to class. But it doesn’t hurt to see Twilight if you’re confused or have any questions. She is the headmare after all, so of course she’ll know what to do.” Fluttershy suggested.
Part of you wondered if you should go see Twilight before going into Applejack’s class. Not really to ask what you should do, but more to see how she’s handling Scrappy at her side. As you thought about it, you wondered how he’d interact with her, and vice versa. “I might just do that. Looks like classes start soon though… I think” You didn’t actually know what time it was, you only knew that your class started at ‘10 AM’, according to the schedule anyway.
“Oh, don’t worry, that still leaves us plenty of time. See, since you were here, I wanted to make breakfast for you, let it cool, wake you up, and then walk you to school myself so I could see your happy face when you feel all of the goodness and love just coming out of everycreature. Since you got up a little earlier than I expected, I thought, maybe…” Fluttershy suddenly became timid as she looked left and right, and whispered to you. “I could ask you to make something for me… With your magic.”
Wut? No, just, wut? “You need me to use my magic for you, Aunt Fluttershy? Is something wrong?”
Fluttershy nodded, frowned, and looked down in a meloncholic way. “Mhmm. It’s Angel. I think he’s been sneaking, or trying to sneak, carrots off so he could eat them. Oh, I don’t want to blame him, it could just be me misplacing them, but they are important to a special medicine I make for my animal sanctuary, and I just have this itty bitty feeling he's the one taking them. D-do you think you could… Oh, erm, what’s this?” Before Fluttershy could even ask what it was, you slap your horn on your head and summon a small box like safe onto the table. But this safe wasn’t like your typical safe, if only because you knew the bastard could use his ears to figure out the combination. No, this one was state of the art! Serve the little bastard right, both on yours and Fluttershy’s account. This will teach him to tell her bullshit stories.
“A safe, Aunt Fluttershy. It doesn’t use a key or a combination lock though. Instead, it opens by voice and phrase recognition. All you have to say is ‘Anon is best pony’ and it’ll unlock, simple, eh?” You say, giving her a bit of an arrogant smirk. Anon, you’re a damned genius.
“Oh.” Fluttershy giggled, and gave it a shot. “Anon is best pony. Oh! It opened. That’s adorable, Anon. But, hmmm…” Fluttershy gave it a curious tap with her hoof, closed the door on it, then tried to open it again with her hoof. “There really is no way to open it but by saying that phrase?”
W-what? She didn’t like the phrase? Your ears folded as you heard her say that. “I-is there something wrong with the password?”
“W-what? O-oh, there’s nothing wrong with it. You are the best pony… In my heart. I was just making sure there was no way for Angel to open it, erm, not saying that he would, I don’t think he’s a thief. B-but, I just want to make sure it’s secure.” Fluttershy said nervously, obviously not wanting to upset anyone.
Ugh, well, at least you were the best in her heart. That certainly counts for something. “Oh, well, yeah, that’s how it works. The only way to open it is by using your voice and saying that exact phrase. Nothing else will work. It’s how super security stuff worked in my dimension.”
“How very odd.” Fluttershy said as she gave it a tap. She became more and more curious about it as the moment passed. “And it doesn’t use any magic?”
“Nope, just technology. Voice recognition and electronic locks are just inventions to us, all powered through electricity. Erm, although I guess this safe IS powered by magic, the way it works still is from a technological standpoint.” You explain.
“Wow, that’s so amazing. I guess that’s why Starlight has taken an interest in these kinds of things. She’s mentioned that she wants to work on a special flying machine someday, that can transport many ponies at once, and even move at speeds that are as fast or even faster than Rainbow Dash. It sounds kind of scary, but considering everypony in your universe used them, then it must be really amazing.” Fluttershy said. Hm, so Starlight mentioned her interest to her? Interesting...
“It really is. Don’t tell that to Rainbow Dash though, she might get jealous.” You say with a chuckle.
Fluttershy actually giggled at that, and then waved her hoof at you. “Oh, Anon, don’t be mean. Even if it is a little funny to think about. Oh my, we should be going though, I do want to get there a little early to set everything up for the day. I’ve been letting some of the birds stay in the classroom for rest, and I want to feed them before class starts.”
“No problem, Aunt Fluttershy.” You say as you get up, grab your saddlebag, and prepare to move out. “Lead the way.”
And with that, You and Fluttershy headed to the school. It was finally time, your first day at school.
The walk over to the school was filled with small conversation. Fluttershy wondered how you felt, while you asked her what she does, exactly, as a teacher. To your surprise, it seemed all the teachers at the school taught more through gimmicks than straight out textbooks and writing assignments. Weird, unless everyone just thought it was too boring or something. However, Fluttershy then asks you about something that happened yesterday. “So, Anon, um, your father was telling me about how he substituted for your final class with with Miss Cheerilee. How did it go? From the way he told it, it sounded like a lot of fun.”
Curious that he would tell her, then again, it is all over the school newspaper, which you know does get read by others around town. Also, how odd she didn’t seem to be upset by it at all. Maybe Discord was right, maybe she really doesn’t get too upset hearing about such things. “It was actually, Dad taught the class about chaos magic while I got to test out my magical skills against his. It ended up as a tie. Erm, so, uh, the fact we fought at all doesn’t upset you?”
“Well, it was only a play fight, right? No, that doesn’t sound too bad, and it must have been a lot of fun being able to test chaos against chaos. I wish I could have seen my boys fight, erm, play fight. I bet it was very exciting.” Fluttershy said, a hint of curiosity and energy in her tone.
“Exciting? Really? Wow, Aunt Fluttershy, that is a little weird to hear from you. I thought you’d have had some problem with it. You really think you’d have fun watching?” God, have you really not spent enough time with Fluttershy to know this?
Fluttershy nods. “Mhmm, I think I would have. Anon, do you think I have a problem with chaos?” She asked.
“Well, no, or else you wouldn’t like me or Dad. I just thought you didn’t really think too much of it. You always seem to get sad or hurt whenever me or Dad do something, well, chaotic.” You say, in a want to learn about Fluttershy’s current stance on chaos magic.
“Oh, Anon, that’s only when one of you do something bad or hurtful, especially to one another. I actually not only don’t mind chaos, I happen to think it is very fun and exciting.” Fluttershy said cheerily. “I actually have a very good time with your father whenever he’s around. Even the littlest things he does is always so mysterious, and sometimes, even adorable! I always look forward to our tea parties just to be able to talk with him, spend time with him, and experience all the things he does with his magic. Just like I always look forward to spending time with my nephew, talking with him, and now, even teaching him valuable lessons about friendship!” Fluttershy then shifts her eyes to the right and left, looking around for anyone before whispering. “I don’t even mind when he pulls a little prank, as long as it’s very very minor and doesn’t hurt anypony. And as long as he doesn’t do it too often. He can be very funny, erm…” Fluttershy looked left and right again, realizing what she was saying might be a bad influence on you, telling you it is ok to pull pranks. “Though, I don’t like it when he does it too much, just like how I don’t like it when anypony does that. But a teeny tiny and not scary little prank is, erm, alright, as long as everypony has fun.”
Exciting? Fun? Mysterious? Spend time with? EVEN HIS PRANKS?! Waaait, WAIT! Why does this opinion sound different from what you knew before. “Wow, I, er, didn’t know you thought that, Aunt Fluttershy. I kind of remember you not being, y’know, so approving of Dad's shenanigans.”
“Oh no no, not at all… Well, actually, I did at first. But as I got to know your father more and more, and, as he got to know me, we became more comfortable with each other. He used to just use his magic to mostly be mean, but now he does it for fun, and even to be entertaining or helpful… Well, sometimes helpful. If you thought that maybe I was afraid of him or his magic in anyway, I’m not. In fact, lately, I’ve just felt…” Fluttershy stopped as she took a moment to ponder. She wanted the right words for what she was about to say. And it needed to describe something calming, gentle, warm. “...Safe, like nothing can hurt me. I suppose, erm, well, when you’ve been afraid of a lot of things all your life like I have, it just feels nice to be able to be around someone so spontaneous and unpredictable, while also feeling like nothing bad will happen because you can trust them. I guess you can say it lets me experience things that before would have scared me away. Does that make sense, Anon?”
SAFE?! ENTERTAINING?! GOT TO KNOW BETTER?! OH NOOOOOOOOOOO! It happened, didn’t it?! IT HAPPENED, DIDN’T IT?! You froze, eye twitching as the thought of it actually being a possibility hit your brain. All that time advocating it, and now suddenly the very thought filled you dread, so much so that you just fall over onto your face without answering.
“A-Anon?! Are you alright?! W-what happened?!” Fluttershy said, shocked by your reaction. It couldn’t have been something she said, she wondered if maybe the oatmeal was to blame, maybe she made it wrong? “Anon, please! Tell me what’s wrong. Is it your tummy?” She asked as she leaned down and began to shake you gently with her hooves.
She loved him, that had to be it. It finally fucking happened! And even if she didn’t say it, it just felt like it. Did he love her? Of course he did, he was just, and is always being, a goddamn child about it.
“U-uhh, no no.” You say as you quickly stand and wipe your forehead. “W-was just doing a head check.”
“A head check?” Fluttershy asked, curious.
“Yeah, just making sure my head is strong and able to slam into things without a problem, haha!” You laugh nervously, as you try to rid your mind of such thoughts, for the moment anyway. Though, knowing what you know now, you had to bring it up with Discord.
“Oh… Erm, I guess that is normal, I think.” Fluttershy said, unsure of it all. “But doesn’t that hurt? Or make you dizzy?”
“Nah, I do this all the WOAH!” You yell out as you fall into the small lake surrounding the front of the school. You rise above the water and spit some out. Goddammit, you must look like a fool right now.
“Woah, Anon, why are you acting like some sort of fool?” Said a voice as it extended its orange claw towards you. Wait, Smolder? OH GODDAMMIT! DID SHE SEE YOU DUNK YOURSELF?! “Like, you just walked in like there was ground or something. Are you ok? Hey, Professor Fluttershy, is he ok?”
“I… Think? A-Anon, are you alright? Are you sure you’re ok?” Fluttershy asked, worried that your 'head check' may have made you dizzy or worse.
You groan as you let Smolder take your hoof and bring it onto one of the stone steps above the water. Ugh, how humiliating. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I was just, er, cooling off before…” Like goddamn, you were at the school already?! How did you miss it? It is fucking huge! “Erm, going in to class.” You say as you shake yourself like some sort of dog, drying yourself off in an adorable way as your coat slightly floofs up.
“Oh… How strange.” Fluttershy murmured to herself before shrugging. “I guess it is just a chaos thing.”
“I dunno, looks like he wasn’t paying attention to me. Hey, Anon.” Smolder said as she turned her attention to you. “This is gonna be your first day, right? You know if we're getting any classes together?.”
“Oh, actually, Anon’s schedule is focused on the friends he has already made within the school. Smolder, your first class of the day is with Applejack, isn’t it?” Fluttershy asked, giving a warming smile as she could already see what she had been told was true. You already had friends within the school. It wasn’t like she didn’t believe it, she just loved seeing it.
“Yeah. And hey, that’s pretty cool actually. Let me guess, ‘friends he already made’, huh? Is it for some sort of special lesson or something?” Smolder guessed as she rubbed at her chin, thinking. “Or, well, it is a friendship school. If it’s not a lesson, then is it just so he can be close to his friends, right?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Mhmm, everycreature deserves to be close to their friends. And since Anon has managed to make friends here at this school, it only makes sense he takes classes with them.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s the point, right? Cool.” Smolder said as she crossed her arms, giving you a smirk. “So, Anon, are you gonna cause any trouble with that thing?” Smolder said as she pointed towards your horn.
“Oh, uh…” You look back at Fluttershy, then back to Smolder, and shake your head. “No, y’know how it is. Gotta play by Twilight’s rules.”
“Bummer, would have been cool to see what else that thing could do. Like, Silverstream has this newspaper and she was just going wild over it. Gave it a read myself, all of it seemed real awesome. Pocket dimensions, transformations, reality warping. Paper made it seem a lot cooler than, well…” Smolder gave you a wink, as to signify the day you ‘fought’ Yona without letting Fluttershy know that it happened. “You know.”
“Ah, right! The, thing, yes.” You say, a little nervously, as you wink back. The school newspaper already spread all around town, eh? Neat, guess that means a lot of ponies are in the know of your great power. “Well, I mean, it’s not like I can’t do a few small things. Right, Aunt Fluttershy? As long as it doesn’t hurt anycreature?”
“W-well…” Fluttershy was in a conundrum. She, in truth, wouldn’t mind it. Again, as long as no one got hurt and it didn’t ruin anything. Really, she was just afraid what others would say, given she didn’t know how easily offended some might be. She knew Twilight might especially be offended, but she also just didn’t want to say no. “Maybe a little. Just remember to keep it innocent”
Woo! Awesome! “Well, there you go, I’ll see what I can conjure up during break or something.”
“Awesome! Can’t wait to see. I know Silverstream totally can’t wait to see, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure she stays off your back.” Smolder said with a wink. “Anyway, seeya in class, gotta return a notebook to Ocellus and I don’t want to end up being late. Not like I really care, but, y'know, Ocellus does and... Well, bye!.” Smolder said with a wave before flying off inside.
“Awww, Anon.” Fluttershy cooed as she hovered over to you to give you a gentle little hug. “That’s my Anon, not even in his first class yet and already being such a, erm, ‘cool’ and ‘awesome’ friend! But also responsible, because, well… Erm, nevermind, I just want you to know I’m oh so proud of you.”
Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. You just snuggled with Fluttershy for a moment, letting all the warmth flow through you. So soft, so nuzzly, you could stay in her grasp for days…
“Anon, Fluttershy, good morning!” Twilight said, standing by the door of the school, with Scrappy beside her, in his usual dog form.
“Oh, Twilight, good morning to you too!” Fluttershy said as she looked over to her. She slowly ended her hug and hovered over to the doors as you followed, hopping from stone to stone til you reached the path leading to the door.
“Yeah, good morning, what’s up?” You’d think she’d be in her office or something. But with her being out here, it was obvious she was waiting for you to show up. Probably has some bullshit to say or whatever. Saves you the trouble of finding her so you could ask about classes and scheduling and such.
“Not much, just another wonderful day here at the School of Friendship!” Twilight said, in a genuinely dorky way that you somehow found more nauseating than cute. “I am here to see you off to your first class, and explain to you a few rules, and what we expect from you. Basically a quick orientation. Don’t worry, everycreature already got the same thing, so don’t think it’s me being a prude or anything.”
Ah, well, that didn’t sound so bad, just business as usual then. “Oh, ok. So, er, I see you got Scrappy there. Hey, Scrappy, how’s the guard duty going?”
“Excellent, the Queen will never be able to get close without me knowing. Although, I wish she would so I could at least say hi. Erm, no, it doesn’t matter. My duty is to alert, and that is what I’ll do!”
“Awwww, he’s so cute.” Fluttershy said as she began to gently pet at his head, causing Scrappy to gently nuzzle under her hoof for affection. “Have you been learning any friendship lessons while you’ve been here, Scrappy?”
“Yes!” Scrappy said with a salute “I have learned many things! Such as Twilight’s inability to ever improve in chess as I crush her everytime! Also, I have learned why villains do not like her, for she is highly annoying and self righteous! Also, I miss the master! Also also, Pinkie Pie and her class are the best, they gave me hugs and snuggles and it made me very happy, it makes me wish nothing bad ever happens to anycreature here.”
“Mhmm, Scrappy has le-Wait! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M ANNOYING?! I am not annoying! And self righteous?! Scrappy, what even gave you that idea?!” Twilight gasped, jumping to the side and staring at Scrappy as she shouted at him, surprised by his answer.
Oh god, you couldn’t even ‘not like’ the little fucker after that! He just laid it on thick! Fucking, brutal.
“Actually, I said highly annoying. You panic a lot, overthink a lot, nag a lot, and think your plans always work… a lot. But that doesn’t make you a bad pony, it just makes your enemies want to destroy you more. Can we play chess now?” Scrappy said as he looked up at Twilight with big soft eyes, wagging his tail as he awaited her answer.
Twilight’s eye twitched, she was baffled, insulted, and confused. “B-but, that’s… Wrong? I mean, that is wrong, right?” Twilight somehow couldn’t even answer for herself, that was so ridiculously blunt it hurt. She knew some of it was right, given her meeting with Chrysalis, but was it really that blatant and obvious?!
“Well, erm, I don’t think all of those things are true, and you’re certainly not a bad pony. B-but you do tend to panic, erm, a lot.” Fluttershy said, feeling bad about having to say that much, despite it being true.
“I mean, you already know how I feel, Twilight. And to be fair, Chrysalis does kinda want you dead... A lot.” It was Twilight’s self righteous bullshit that did cause all this.
“I… See.” Twilight said as a few of the hairs in her mane twisted and curled. “Weeeellllll, er, I guess… Maybe? Maybe I still have a few lessons to… Erm… Learn... A lot.” She says, whispering that last part very lowly. “Annnnnnyway, Fluttershy, you better get to your class before they wonder where you are. Erm, Scrappy, can you wait in my office? Erm, we’ll play chess when I get back.”
“Yes! Further victory will be mine! And then I shall tell these tales to my master, Applebloom, in which she will be happy with me and give me snuggles!” Scrappy said happily as he rushed back inside.
Hold back that laughter, Anon, because Twilight just got fucking ‘rekt’ by a dumbass changeling.
“Well, Anon, I’ll see you soon.” Fluttershy said as she gave you a kiss on the forehead. “Be good, and work hard. But erm, also relax, and have fun with your friends. I love you, Anon.”
“I love you too, Aunt Fluttershy.” You say as you kiss her cheek, and let her step inside as you begin to follow the disheveled Twilight to Applejack’s class. You also had to take in the spectacle of the interior of the school. Really, if it was one thing Twilight got right, it was the look of the school. It really was like a pony Hogwarts, Or perhaps, even fancier than that. The interior had a courtyard with a beautiful fountain, with doors that led to hallways that were beautifully designed, windows along the wall to gaze onto the outside. It was almost like a small castle town. “Heh, you alright, Twilight?”
“J-just fine, nothing to w-worry about. Ahrm, erm…” Twilight had to clear her throat and try to calm herself. She was the headmare, and she couldn’t let herself be affected by Scrappy’s comments. Especially since she felt he was mostly wrong, kinda mostly, an inner panic in her mind hoping it was kinda not as mostly as she felt it might be. “But, erm, that isn’t important right now. What is important is me welcoming you to our school.”
“Yeah, I got that. Look, erm, I don’t need a whole grand speech or anything, Twilight. Just give me the gist of what I need to know.” Like really, you don't need the grand speech about how lucky you are to be selected to be here or any of that nonsense.
“Anon, I feel like a warm welcome is the best way to feel wanted and, well, welcomed. I know we have a lot of differences between us, but I am happy to have you here. I spoke to Starlight, you know? She let me know that you’re already well ahead of your studies, as in, you already have a small pool of friends from this very school. I’m proud to hear that, I really am. And just like with all my students here, I want to see you grow, and improve. I don’t want to change you, Anon, I just want you to learn our way of friendship better, to increase your understanding of it. Maybe it confuses you as to why, but I truly feel it will help you in the long run.” Twilight explained, pretty much giving you the grand speech anyway. Ah well, she wasn’t too wrong about feeling welcomed. She really did seem to have hope in you, and believed in you, despite all the shit you and Discord pull on her.
“Well, erm, thanks, Twilight. I guess I do feel more confident after hearing that. But, ok, rules… Rules. I mean, basically don’t cause any trouble, right?” You ask.
“Well, that is the basics of any school ruleset, I think. But we do have rules more related to friendship as well. Like, don’t actively sabotage a friendship, even your own. If you have any trouble, we do have Starlight, our student counselor, for guidance. We also expect you to try to work out any friendship issues with your friends first before seeing Starlight for the sake of experience. Experience can’t be gained unless you do things on your own. However, if things are truly serious, or you have doubt, then do see Starlight, or one of your professors, or even me first so we can try and work things out. Furthermore…” And Twilight went on a long tangent of basic bullshit you could have already figured out. Don’t cause trouble, don’t ruin friendships, listen to your professors, bla bla bla. “...And that’s it. All very easy rules to follow. Though, for you, I also have to ask you to refrain from using your horn here in school. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t want there to be any trouble. Of course, in the unlikely event of a monster attack, erm, well, I can’t stop you from helping in that regard. You’re responsible enough to handle a monster or villain attacking, I know that much. Oh, also about homework, we don't give out too much here. We mostly teach through more unique and fun activities. Now that doesn't mean we don't have written work, or tests, because we do. But we just don't want to stress any of our students out so they can focus on being such good friends! ”
Well damn, it feels nice to have your actual heroic abilities recognized. Though, still, the fact that she didn’t want you using your horn at all was really stingy sounding. It wasn’t like you were going to blow up the school or anything. And less homework than the usual school? You can get down to that. But the use of your horn, you needed a few more specifics on your horn. “I guess I can follow that. But I still need my horn to get home and stuff, that’s fine, right?”
“That’ll be alright, I don’t see a problem with that. Finally…” Twilight stops at the door to Applejack’s class, then looks around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Chrysalis, has there been anything new regarding her?”
You shake your head. “No, nothing yet. But don’t worry, we do have everything covered.”
“I know, and I know nocreature but myself is truly at risk. I just don’t want her doing anything hasty either, I know she can be redeemed.” Twilight said, more soft spoken, but still filled with hope.
“I know. I’m not worried too much about it, erm, is there anything else? Since, y’know, I’m here?” You ask Twilight.
“Oh, erm, no no. It’s fine. Um, welcome to Friendship School, Anon, I can’t wait to see what you can do.” Twilight says, trying to sound more enthused.
Welp, that really was the interesting part, wasn’t it? Well, we’ll see what you can do, Anon. You yourself were sure it was going to be a hell of a time… Possibly.
You stepped into Applejack’s classroom, as seemingly the final student to arrive. You take a look around the place, looked like a basic room you’d see in high school, but more blue and purple when it came to the walls. Desks set up the same way as any other school, there was a chalkboard, bookcases. Hell, the only thing that seemed to match Applejack’s personality was the single apple on the desk at which she sat. Actually, looking at all the students, most of which are ponies, as they look back at you seemed rather unnerving to you for some reason. Within the class, you only recognized Smolder, Ocellus, Gallus, and… Wait, no, that greenish pony with the palmtree-leafish like mane and three turtles cutie mark didn’t seem too familiar, despite the fact he was chatting it up with Gallus as if they knew each other. Maybe they do? Though, now that you notice she wasn't here, you wish you had this class with Cozy Glow. No doubt Starlight at least made sure you had a class with her at some point, despite not actually talking about it.
“Good mornin’, Anon, good to have ya here in mah honesty class and-” Welp, despite the warning you got from Twilight, Applejack didn’t seem upset or unnerved to see you. Though she is interrupted all of a sudden by a few ponies suddenly gazing at you.
“Woah, is that really Anon?! The Hero Colt?! That’s totally rad! You guys were right, he does look more awesome up close!!” The green pony said, apparently excited to see you and well knowing of your reputation. I mean, of course he does, you’re awesome.
Gallus just ducked his head a little bit, groaning. “Sandbar, c’mon, now you’re just making us look like groupies.”
Applejack could already see other ponies across the class murmuring to themselves. And while Applejack didn’t mind some discussion among the students when she wasn’t explaining anything, she also didn’t want everyone getting excited just because you were here. “Now settle down, y'all. Anon is a student, just like everycreature else, he ain’t getting no special treatment and ah expect none of you to give him as such neither.”
A cute pegasus mare, pinkish in color with a blue swirly mane, started waving her hoof towards Applejack. “Excuse me, Professor, ya mind if Anon sit with us? He’s toooooo cute, I think he could use some big sisters to help him with his friendship lessons.” She said, other pony mares around her nodding. Hoo, big sisters? Y-y… No, you must resist.
“Ain’t happenin’, sorry. Ya already have a full group anyhows. Anon, while not gettin’ special treatment or nothin’ like that, does have a special assignment given to him by Headmare Twilight herself. Gotta sit him with the nonpony folk so he can learn friendship lessons from all their cultures. Ah expect everycreature to learn that too, of course, but Anon needs it for his hero work.” Applejack announces as she looks away and whispers, annoyed with what she just said. “Even though none of that makes a lick of sense.” She then looks to you, and nods with a smile. “Anyhoo, Anon, saved ya a seat right between Smolder and Ocellus. Yer lucky ya just showed up today too, got a hootananny of an assignment for the whole class and ya complete the team of five needed to make it fair. Oh, but first, why don’t you introduce yourself to the class.”
Holy crap that was a lot of information to absorb. An assignment already? And a special assignment specifically for you? That was never explicitly mentioned, or your arrangements even explained to you as a special assignment, but obviously it was just the whole ‘cultural learning’ thing or whatever mixed with your ‘spy work’. Anyway, you walk over to the front of the class and give an adorable wave of your hoof. “Hello everycreature! I’m Anon, the Hero Colt! And I’m glad to be here today! It’s nice to meet you all.” You say, as the class says hello back to you with actual sincerity compared to a class you’d hear from earth.
“There we are, yer all acquainted, soon to be all friends, ah hope. Oh but, Anon, before you sit down, gonna have to ask ya to not use that horn, AT ALL, in mah class, ya hear? Don’t want it used for cheatin’ or nothin’.” Applejack said, as politely as she could, though the hint of disdain in her voice was there.
“I, er, guess? But Professor Applejack, this horn is sort of my thing, it’s part of my talent. Ya know, it’s a symbol to what my cutie mark is. I can’t just not use it when I need it.” For anyone else, you could swear they would have been nicer about it. Hell, Applejack had to have been told you were not to cause any shenanigans already with the horn, so what gives?
Applejack seemed impressed for a half moment with the fact you already respectfully were calling her professor, but still, it seemed she really was ticked about the O&O game from before. “Ah know that, and I ain’t tellin’ you not to use it when somethin’ important happens. But this class is all about honesty, Anon.” And that’s when Applejack comes in close to you and whispers in your ear. “And ah don’t want to deal with any tricks like before. And ah expect you to not cheat me or yerself with your magic. If ya have to use it, then ah expect you to use it if Queen Chrysalis decides to mosey on in here. Understand?”
You? Tricks? Bah, you weren’t going to do that! Just a tiny little one, that Fluttershy herself would be ok with. She didn’t know what she was talking about. But whatever “Yeah, understood. Can I take my seat now?”
Applejack nodded, and turned to the rest of the class. “Alrighty then, good to have ya, Anon. Anyway, everycreature take yer time discussin’ how yer gonna tackle that scavenger hunt. Now, remember, ah don’t expect y’all to bring it all back here. This is an honesty class, after all, and ah expect you to just be honest with the items yer all checking off. Before anycreature asks, ah’ll say it again, this is pretty much gonna tell me where y’all stand with honesty so far. Now, get to discussin’.”
Ok then. You take your seat between Ocellus and Smolder as Gallus and the young green stallion named Sandbar scooted their seats closer to join in on the discussion.
“Hello, Anon, it’s nice to see you again.” Ocellus said with a gentle smile, a bit of timidness in her voice. “How coincidental it is to have you in our group.”
“Coincidental nothin’, looks like he’s pretty much forced to be in our groups for the whole semester. Not like that’s a problem, pretty much gives us an edge with that horn of his.” Gallus said, just giving a boredly cool look as he gazes at the horn around your neck.
“Hey, hey, remember what the Professor said, he can’t use it, or else it’s cheating. Oh, by the way, big fan of yours, Anon, my whole family are. Though, I don’t think I’m as big a fan as Silverstream is, she is REALLY into you.” Sandbar said as he found it hard to contain his fanboyism. Ah christ, another one. Well, at least he was a dude, much easier to deal with than a cute hippogriff.
“Oh, uh, thanks. Cool to know I have fans inside the school. But, uh, what is with the team thing? What are we doing?” You asked.
“Scavenger hunt, and not a really hard one either. Like, really, it is super simple.” Smolder said as she brings up a long sheet with a list on it. “Red wagon, blue string, house with a chimney on it, a donkey, a rabbit, an apple, a fish, and finally, a needle in a haystack. Which, uh, I guess all of them are really easy except that last part. I can kinda see where Gallus is going with this, would it really be cheating to use Anon’s horn to find the needle?”
Ocellus gives a sure nod. “Absolutely. Despite what you all have seen so far, you haven’t seen what I’ve seen. Anon’s father, and by extension, Anon himself, can bend reality to fit their needs should they choose to. It would be dishonest to use the horn to find the needle.”
The fuck? A needle in a haystack? “Why is that even on the list, anyway? That doesn’t seem like something anycreature can find. How many needles did the Professor hide anyway?” Like christ, she expected them to get that last one?! What the fuck did any of this have to do with honesty?!
“One, just one, in some random haystack. Heck, it’s not even something we need to find, but it’s worth twenty ‘A’s’ if somecreature can find it. Meaning, if we find it, we’re set for almost half the semester.” Gallus said before whispering. “It’s not like anycreature has to know we used Anon’s horn to find it, just saying.”
“We’d know, and I’m not going to do it. It is just… Just… So dishonest. But it isn’t like we can’t just look either, we should be able to find everything else very quickly if we look around thoroughly.” Ocellus said, unwilling to cheat the lesson, at all. "It'd give us time to find the needle."
“Yeah, but what are the chances of us finding it before we have to come back to class?” Gallus asked.
“Er, well, it’s zero point zero zero zero zer-” But as Ocellus went on, Gallus just stopped her by raising his talons, sighed, and slumped in his seat.
“Ugh, I get it, basically impossible. Ok, ok, so if we’re going to do this the ‘honest’ way, then we’re ALL gonna do it, right?” Gallus asked, somewhat unsure if his friends were going to try to check off the needle anyway. "Nocreature is gonna go behind anycreature's back or anything and check off the needle?"
“We’re in this together, if we can’t find the needle, then it’s no biggie.” Sandbar said with a nod.
Smolder shrugged. “Yeah, and besides, if we do manage to find it, then we’ll pretty much be able to do anything. Like, literally against the odds. What about you, Anon? You in?”
“I mean, yeah, I am. I just find it-guh?!” You are suddenly stopped as a sheet, being the same as everyone else's, drops on your desk. Applejack stood before you, ready to explain something it seems.
“Here ya go, Anon, yer own sheet. Now, ah know you might not know what’s goin’ on yet, so let me give you the jist of it. In mah class, I expect hard work and plain ole’ honesty, both with me and the friends you’ll be making. Today, ah just want to test everycreatures’ honesty with this here Scavenger Hunt and-” But you interrupt her, as you had already pretty much gotten that information already.
“Er, Professor Applejack, ma’am, I sorta already know all that, we’ve been talking about how to tackle the scavenger hunt. Erm, thanks for the sheet though. And, uh, I do have a question.” There was one thing you needed to know, and that was the exact rules on the needle.
“Oh, er, hm, well, that’s good then. Hm? What’s that, Anon?” Applejack asked, feeling a little off balance and embarrassed.
“The needle in the haystack. Like, do you really expect somecreature to find it before the class ends? Is there anything we can use that isn’t my horn to help us find it? A magnet, maybe? Is there a hint as to know where the right haystack might even be?” Just, something, you just needed something and you were sure you’d be able to figure it out with your human intellect.
“Well, ah suppose using a regular ole’ magnet would be fine. But as for the haystack?” Applejack let out a soft chuckle about that. “That’s for y’all to figure out. It’s worth a lot of grades, so I ain’t just gonna tell you where to find it. If you don’t find it by the end of class, then don’t worry about it, it ain’t gonna count against you.”
Not even a hint? You look back at your friends, whose optimism seemed to take a varying hit among them as they came to realize that it may really be impossible. “I see, thank you, Professor.”
“No problem. Now, ah don’t want to waste everycreature’s time now. So y’all get going and have fun while ya do it. And remember, be honest. I know I ain’t expectin’ you all to bring everything back, but I do expect ya all to have actually seen it before you mark down that ya have.” Applejack announced to the class before letting you all out to do your search.
One could say the start of any hunt is the longest part. The preparation, the tension, the planning. However, the scavenger hunt was so damn easy thus far that the only thing left was the rabbit, fish, and donkey. And considering two of the three could be found at Fluttershy’s cottage, you took the lead of leading the group there as you all discussed the final item, the needle in the haystack. “Ok, so, you guys mentioned Applejack hid a needle somewhere. Did she say what haystack? Or where it was at least? A clue? Anything?”
Ocellus shook her head. “Unfortunately no. When she discussed the activity with us yesterday, she said she would hide it in a haystack of her choosing. Erm, which could be any haystack in Equestria. Or at least one close to the school. I’d think we could just check her farm, but I’m afraid that even with the five of us, there really is no way of finding it in time.”
“Well, that shouldn’t get any of us down, right?” Sandbar said as he rushed ahead of everyone, looking back at them as he tried to raise all your spirits with his optimism. “So what if we can’t find the needle? Who cares? If we can’t find it with our own amazing group, then nocreature else can either! So whatever, let’s just give it our best shot, and whatever happens happens.”
Smolder shrugged at that as she smirked. “Sounds good to me. Though, I was thinking, I could just torch every haystack we see and see if a needle shows up in the ash.”
“I’d be all for that!... Ugh, if our ‘professor’ wouldn’t get cranky about it. Egh, so it seems like she’s kind of expecting us to find HER needle rather than A needle. Oh look, a fish.” You point out as one jumps from the side of the little bridge leading to Fluttershy’s cottage.
“Got it…” Gallus says as he peered over at the cottage while marking the sheet, his mind still trying to find a way to get that final checkmark. He pondered for a moment, and as he pondered, he looked over at Sandbar, who already would probably be against anything underhanded he might think of. Gallus sighed, as something did enter his mind, but he wasn’t willing to go through with it at this point. “Look, I get it, we’re not gonna cheat. But I’m just gonna put this out there, what is going to stop everycreature else from marking it off their sheets?”
“Hm? What do you mean, Gallus?” Ocellus asked, a little more naive to Gallus’s words than one should.
“I mean Professor Applejack said we don’t even need to bring any of this back to her, as in, nocreature even has to fake it if they want that grade. All they have to do is mark it and BAM! It’s over.” Gallus explains.
“I don’t think that’s right. Wouldn’t Professor Applejack know that isn’t the truth?” Ocellus asked.
“Well, she did say there’d be no questions asked. Remember, she said it’d be all based on a system of trust or something like that.” Smolder said as she began to scratch at her chin. “But wouldn’t there be a problem if everycreature else showed up with it marked?”
“Who knows? if she did ask something, they could just say they found it in a haystack in her farm, since that is where she probably hid the thing. I feel like a sucker right now. I mean, I really want to mark it, but…” Gallus sighed as he looked to the rest of the group. “I guess it doesn’t feel right, since, well, none of you want to do it.”
“Gallus, c’mon.” Sandbar said as he approached his friend, slinging his leg along his back and hugging him close. “Forget about all that, man. Let them do what they want. As long as we’re honest with ourselves, then that is all that matters, right?”
“...I guess.” Gallus said with an eyeroll. “What about you, Anon? Not even tempted to use that weird horn thing?”
“I mean, I could. Nocreature would have to know. But then you guys would know and it’d turn into a thing and bla bla bla. Look, all I really want to know is where that needle even is. If I at least had… Wait. Sandbar, what was that last part you said again?” Oh no, was it… Was it that obvious?
“Er, the honest with ourselves thing?” Sandbar asked, feeling a little awkward as he looked at your wide eyed expression.
UGH, GODDAMMIT, APPLEJACK! Holy shit! It was so damn simple! It was a red herring! Not only is it truly impossible to find the needle, there is literally no point in looking for it, it isn’t part of the lesson! Hell, even the rest of the list is a red herring. Everything is really easy to find because it was meant to be easy to find, because it honestly isn’t part of the lesson. That final one, the needle in the haystack, is the lesson. Applejack probably didn’t even hide a damn needle… Well, she probably did if she said she did, but it was probably in some place stupid and ridiculous simply to make sure it was never found! It is an honesty test, she just wants to see how many groups can resist checking off the final box. Well, haha, you have her figured out. “Yeah, that’s exactly it. Guys, everything, and I mean everything, is a test. Applejack doesn’t care about what we mark or anything like that, what she cares about is that we don’t mark the last one, because marking it would be dishonest. Ocellus is right, there is no way we’re finding that needle, and there isn’t any point to finding it anyway. The whole thing is a trick. She just wants everycreature to be honest with what they mark down. Anycreature who marks down that last one, for any reason, I guarantee will fail.”
And just like you have every time before, everyone… Well, everyone but Ocellus, gave you a wut face.
“Woah, woah, woah woah, woooah. So what you’re saying is we were worrying about all this for nothing?” Gallus asked, confused, and a little pissed that he felt he was tricked. “Why would the professor put this in as part of the hunt if it was impossible?”
“Actually, what Anon says does make sense. Let me try to explain it more clearly, erm.” Ocellus flew ahead a few inches then looked towards all of you as she began to explain exactly how things were regarding the scavenger hunt. “Basically, what Anon is saying is that this is a test about being honest to ourselves, as Sandbar said, and to each other, including to Professor Applejack. This is an honesty class, after all, so it all makes sense. We're just supposed to tell the truth.”
“Huh…” Smolder said, scratching her head for a moment, then looking back towards the town “Well, uh.” She then looks to you “Good job, I guess. Though, uh, weren’t we going to pass without all that because we were going to be honest anyway?”
“Hey, whatever, it helped making me stop wanting to mark it off. But, uh, what about the rest of the stuff? Are we still looking for them?” Gallus asked.
You just shrugged. “Might as well, considering we're supposed to tell the truth. We only have two to go anyway. Come on, my Aunt’s pet is probably inside. All we gotta do is spot him and that's it.” Heh, Anon, you truly are a genius.
“And that means all we have to do is find a donkey. Doesn’t that donkey couple live somewhere nearby? I really liked meeting them the other day." Ocellus asked, her voice becoming cheerier now that everything was figured out.
“Oh, you mean Cranky and Matilda? Yeah, and once we see them, then we’ll be done. Wow, guys, see? I knew it all along. All we had to do was talk it out, be honest, and we’d get through this no problem! I bet the professor is totally going to be proud of us!” Sandbar said, feeling rather accomplished about the whole thing.
“I bet, especially if we show up before anycreature else. Can’t believe it was this easy.” Smolder said, a little bewildered on how easy the assignment truly turned out.
“Yeah, I wonder if we’ll get a few extra gra-Hm?” Gallus stopped short of the three statues by the cottage. Of you, Discord, and Fluttershy. He just points to the Discord statue, finding it the odd one out. “Who is that guy?”
“That’s my Dad. The lord of chaos himself. Which kinda makes me the prince.” You say with a cocky chuckle as you check to see if the door is locked.
“Really? Don’t want to insult you or anything, but it kind of looks like a bunch of unqualified surgeons just put him together. Is that really what he looks like?” Gallus asked as he gave the statue a few taps. It was clear Discord was someone he had never seen before, and was in disbelief that anything like that could exist.
“I can confirm that’s him. I know he looks scary, but he can be kind too. Er, sort of? I-I guess not throwing us back into Tartarus was nice. Erm, I know he has done a lot of nice things for Anon and Professor Fluttershy too.” It was clear Ocellus had some fear of Discord. No doubt, during your times out and about, that Discord probably abused them once or twice for no reason, or some reason. Nothing too bad of course, if Chrysalis herself was able to bounce back from it everytime.
“Looks like some kind of weird furry dragon to me. But the guy has to be packing some serious magic if Anon is anything to go by. I know you all know about Anon's magic. But that guy? That’s where it all comes from. It’s weird though, all that power…” Smolder then turns to you. “And Headmare Twilight and her friends beat him? What did he do, just stand there?”
“Er, yeah, don’t mention that in front of him though, unless you want a long and crazy explanation on how it was all part of his plan or something like that.” You say as you twist the handle and give the door a push. It was open, Fluttershy must have forgotten to lock it. Or maybe she left it unlocked to let some of the animals in or whatever. Either way, upon opening the door, you could already see Angel trying to pry open the safe with a screwdriver. “Well well, looks like we found our rabbit.”
“Oh, hey, it's Angel! Professor Fluttershy brought him to class before, he was pretty nice. What’s he doing though? Is he trying to w-woah, what’s with that look?” Sandbar had to take a step back as Angel suddenly turned his head towards you, fury in his eyes as he pointed over to you and threw the screwdriver to the side.
Yesssssssssssssssssss, soooooo gooooood. “Oh, he’s probably trying to get into that safe. He’s basically spoiling his lunch time by trying to get to something he shouldn’t.” Angel had began to hop over at you madly as you said this, seemingly coming to demand you open the safe he probably has been spending forever trying to open. You just time it, wait for him to get closer, and then slam the door shut right as he got to it, a loud thud emanating from the door as he crashed into it. “Welp, that just leaves, er, what was it again?”
“Erm, Anon, is he going to be ok? He seemed upset about whatever was in that safe.” Ocellus asked, a little distressed from the evident anger on Angel’s face before the door was slammed shut.
“What, Angel? He’ll be fine. The safe has some stuff for my aunt’s sanctuary, something he shouldn’t be touching. So, y’know, he’s upset for no reason.” Bwhahahaha. The guy can’t even make up shit either, you have four other witnesses who can back up your story. Checkmate asswipe. Anon, you are in the fucking zone today.
“Oh. Well, all we have to do is visit Mr. and Mrs. Doodle?” Ocellus asked as he looked over to Sandbar for an answer.
“C’mon, guys, I'll lead the way.” Sandbar said as he waved his hoof, guiding everyone to Cranky’s home
And so, as you all began your trek to Cranky and Matilda’s home, Gallus couldn’t help but think more deeply about the honesty lesson he just learned. He had thought about cheating, he had thought about just marking it down as done anyway, and yet, with the lesson over, he found it more and more difficult to think about doing such things, considering it would have screwed his friends over. “Y’know, this honesty stuff, really could use some of that in Griffonstone.”
“What do you mean, Gallus?” Sandbar asked. “Aren’t a lot of griffons honest? I know you are.” Sandbar replied, naive to Gallus’s true earlier intentions and the origins of where he is from.
“No. Like, just… No. Griffons are anything but honest. Even my ‘guardian’ doesn’t really like any of this, like, the idea of it. Its crazy, it really is, that you all think like this. I would have just marked everything off and that would have been it. Now? I guess it doesn’t feel right, especially since it wouldn’t have gotten us anywhere. But any other griffon would have just marked off the whole sheet without even finding anything. To tell you the truth, I thought this whole thing was going to be dumb. I guess I was the dumb one, huh?” Gallus said as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his talons, feeling rather bashful about the whole thing.
“Nah, it's just how we were raised. Dragons, before Ember became a princess, were just taught to be mean, steal, and be overall jerks, even to each other. This kind of lesson would have never flown in the Dragon Lands before. Now though, dragons could learn a thing or two about friendship and harmony, instead of beating each other up over every little thing.” Smolder said, trying to cheer up Gallus by sharing some of her own experiences.
Ocellus nodded to that. “And changelings? Well, for a very very long time, all we knew was conquering and ruining the lives of everycreature else. We’d be in Tartarus if we kept up our ways. In a sense, we’re very lucky to have Thorax as our king, things have been much better since we learned to love for ourselves, instead of taking everycreature elses.”
As lovely as that all sounds, you couldn’t help but think that this was something that was going to sound like a broken record sooner or later. Either way, seems Applejack’s lesson on honesty worked, even if it seemed a little half baked at this point. Oh well, it was shit you already knew, so all you had to do was… Wait, you were going to see Cranky and Matilda? As in Cranky Doodle? The guy who you didn’t even properly apologize to? Shit… Would he still be mad about you just teleporting right onto his flowers? Well, you didn’t have to talk to him, just see him and go. “Yeah, I sort of know how that’s like too. But, er, are we just going to say hi to them? Or just mark it down the moment we see them?”
“Well, I’d think that if they are busy, then we just mark them down when we see them. But if we don’t see them, we’d have to say hi. But if they aren’t busy, I think it’d be good to say hi anyway. We all met them while we were in Professor Pinkie’s class the other day. Well, except for Smolder, Gallus, Silverstream, and Yona. They all got held up meeting you. I guess you guys had a really long chat, huh?” Sandbar said, obviously ignorant of the events between you and the group from the other day. So much for honesty. “I was wishing I was there, but now I get to hang out with you everyday. And wow, you’re as smart and cool as they say.”
“Yeeeah, mhmm. Sure am, ahaha. Ugh…” Why are you getting nervous, Anon? That was so long ago! It was during that whole crystaliing thing, or whatever it was. Things are gonna be fine. Or rather, you thought it was. Because as you all soon approached Cranky’s cabin, you could already see a group of five students running away in a panic as yelling could be heard in the distance.
“Why?! Hm?! Why?! Of all the places you pegasi could have landed on, you decide to land right on my flowers! Why are you all coming over to my home, anyway?! Hm?! Darn it! Ugh…” You could see Cranky in the distance tending to some of his flowers, which had bent and fallen apart from being trampled on. Did some of the pegasi students accidentally land right on top of them? Huh, that’s even worse than you randomly teleporting onto them and… Oh god, he was totally going to remember what you did. Geez...
And so there you all were, face to face with Cranky, and he didn’t look all too pleased to see the group. He didn’t even have a wig on at the moment. “Great, even more of you, did you come to harass me over some school project or whatever it was? No good trespassers just rushed in talking about getting to some needle or something and just decided to harass me and trample my garden. I even lost my hair over it. So, what? What do you want from me?”
Ah geez, seems in all the hubbub to get the needle, the rest of the students decided to just charge through Cranky to get him marked off their lists. You actually felt bad for the guy, that wasn’t right. Dammit Applejack, did she think this was a good idea? Maybe she thought her students would have been more friendly about it. Although it probably wasn’t the whole class either, just a few groups. Either way, no matter how many charged through here, it was still fucked up. “Actually, erm, Mr. Cranky, sir. We were just doing a scavenger hunt and finding a donkey was on the list. We don’t mean any harm and uh…” You move your head to the side to get a good look at how bad his flower bed by his house was trampled… It was pretty trampled. Could you fix that? You could, using your horn to help someone has nothing to do with the class at hand, so you couldn't be accused of cheating. Could be risky using chaos magic for something like this though. But damn, you felt for the guy. “I-I could fix your flower bed, if you let me.”
“Hm? Wait a second, I know who you are. You’re that colt who just appeared on my flowers that one day. Anon, right? Are you trying to trick me? How could you fix my flowers after those hooligans trampled all over it.” Cranky said, living up to his namesake as he walked back to his flower bed, lifting a single flower gently with a hoof before it slumped over and fell. “There’s no fixing this. And after I finally got it perfect for Matilda. Just my luck…”
Smolder inched closer to you and whispered “Anon, are you serious? Can your magic fix that? I mean, I know it can do ‘anything’. But can it do anything? I kinda feel bad for the guy, y’know? Almost feels like something dragons would do for kicks, it isn’t right.” Despite everything she had seen of you so far, it seems she still doubted your power.
You nod and whisper back to her. “Yeah, just watch this.” You approach the donkey in mourning, who was still trying to get the flowers to stand straight. “Mr.Cranky, I am serious, I can fix this if you let me. Look, I’m sorry, I really am sorry about what happened before. But this? C’mon, this type of thing is my bread and butter. I’m the hero colt for a reason, and I’m willing to get to it if you let me.”
“Hmph, do whatever you want, it won’t make a lick of difference. Heck, if you could fix this, I’d give you my best wig. That’s how much I know this can’t be fixed.” Cranky said, being as stubborn as a mule as he turned to look at his wagon. “As for me, I’m going to be get more fertilizer, get some new seeds, start over.”
Well, since he didn’t seem to care anymore, you slap on your horn and focus deeply on what you wanted. Revive the flowers, but not in a normal fashion. Well, reviving flowers is unnatural that within itself. Wait, but then they could be raised as the undead, and you don’t need zombie flowers running around. C’mon, Anon, think! If you were going to revive flowers, then all you have to do to make it chaotic is… “Got it!” You throw a spell onto the ground that travels through the ground towards the trampled flowers. In your head, you imagined the flowers sinking back into the ground and then ‘regrowing’ into even more flowers to create a more complete flower bed. Amazingly enough, it works, with the flowers exploding out of the ground, with mini-firework like explosions appearing above the flower bed. The regrown flowers were even more vibrant than ever before! “Yes! I did it!”
“Wooooooah, that’s so awesome! He really did it!” Sandbar said in amazement, enamored by the power of your magic.
“Did what now? What did he… Hm?” Cranky, who was about to attach the wagon on his back and head to town, noticed his flower bed had revived, filled with colorful beauty, ever more than before. “My flowers… That’s… You really did it. How?”
Yes! The Hero Colt saves the day again! “Oh, it was nothing. Just cast my magic spell and blammo! No need to thank me, I don’t even need a wig. Just think of this as me paying you back, y’know, about me trampling your flowers from way back.”
“I think you did more than you needed to. Matilda is going to love this when she gets back. I actually feel a spring in my step right now, and I don’t get one of those too often.” Cranky seemed pretty ecstatic for a moment, before he suddenly calmed down, soured up, and gave you a coarse look. “But I’m still angry about all those trespassers, and you all better be the last to bother me. Still…” Cranky gave you a little smile, and chuckled a small chuckle “If you do want a wig, I don’t mind. I do like to keep my word, after all. But, er, you’re not getting my best one. I still need it.”
“No no, it’s fine, really. I’m just glad to help out. And like I said, I owed you one.” Wow, you didn’t think he’d be this grateful. Then again, given he was talking about making his wife happy, it kind of makes sense.
“Well, then thank you then. I guess I should extend you an invitation for tea or something. I’m sure Matilda would be happy to have you as a guest. But you better act like you’re acting now, and not like when you were trampling my flowers. I know who your father is, and I don’t need shenanigans going on around me, Matilda, or my home.” Cranky explains, in a way that sounded like an old man beating something into you, but in a good natured way.
“Oh, you don't have to do that, Mr. Cranky. I'm just happy to have helped. By the way. I’m also the nephew of the element of kindness. Sooooooo, y’know, I got that going for me.” You tell him with a wink of your eye.
“I guess I can see it. Welp, you all can leave my property now. I’m going to set up a bigger fence around my flowers, and I rather not have any distractions. Now git!” Cranky said forcefully as he pointed his hoof back towards town. “And thank you again.”
You nod to him with a smile, and you and the group head back towards the school. All of them were impressed, even Ocellus and Gallus. Oh yeeeah, Anon, real smooth shit. This is how it should be, you doing things right, making the general populace happy, and raking in those sweet sweet good boy points.
“Well, I’m convinced Anon can literally cheat reality. Is there really no limit to that horn? And I mean is there really anything it can’t do?” Gallus asked, amazed by the power of your magic.
“Not really. As long as you understand chaos, you can make anything happen. Though, if you don’t get how chaos works, well, let’s just say you better hope your spell doesn’t obliterate everything around you.” You say, looking back at Gallus with a purposeful creepy grin.
“...Gotcha… Ok then, so… Er.” Gallus stopped for a moment, took a breath, and held up everyone’s sheets for the hunt. “Annnway, I marked down everything for everycreature, except for the needle. So here you go.”
“Thank you, Gallus.” Ocellus says as she takes the sheet and hovers upwards as she looks over her sheet.
“Thanks! Man, the Professor is going to be so proud of us!” Sandbar said with a hoofpump, excited to see and receive Applejack’s praise.
Yessss, Applejack can do nothing else but praise you and your friends. God, and they love you so much too. It is just like how it was when you first arrived in Equestria, where everyone loved and adored you, even Cranky loves you now! Everything is finally working out again! Yeah! Anon is the best, Anon is the best, Anon is the best, ANON IS THE BEWRFEADWS.
“Woah! Anon! Watch your step! Are you alright?!” Sandbar called out to you as you fall into the small lake in front of the school yet again.
“...I’m fine… I’m… Can somecreature help me out?” You look over at them, defeated, as you hold out your hoof.
“I gotcha” Smolder said with a giggle as she grabs onto your hoof and pulls you back. “Twice in one day, Anon? Somehow, I don’t think you were ‘cooling’ off this time, or the last time.”
“Oh no!” Ocellus called out, worried that something with you was really wrong. “Is he going blind?! Or worse! Did he finally hit his head enough times that he thinks water is ground too?!”
WUT?! “How does that even make sense?! Gyah, I just… Er…” You couldn’t even think of a good excuse this time. And as you tried to think, Smolder gave a gentle knock on your head and then shrugged. “Hey?! What was that for!”
“Just checking. His head seems fine to me. I don’t think he was paying attention, Ocellus.” Smolder says with a chuckle.
“Oh… That makes sense.” Ocellus said, unsurprised, and relieved it wasn’t serious.
So much for love and respect. “Yeaaah, yeah, ok, fine. But I was only not paying attention because I was busy sharpening my mind. It takes a big brain to figure out these friendship lessons.”
“I bet! I would have never figured out the lesson on my own so easily. You’re a genius, Anon!” Sandbar cheered.
Heh, yes, you were, weren’t you? “I know.”
Ocellus raised her hoof to try to say something about that, but she held back, she didn’t want to say anything rude. She did live with you at one point, and she knew as smart as you are, that you had your stupid moments. “M-mhmm. Anon does have some of his best moments when he has his time to think, erm, mhmm.”
Ha, even Ocellus knew your greatness! Of course she did, she did live with you at one point. With embarrassment averted, you all head inside the school and go straight back to class. And as you do, you all begin to pick up on a sweet and tasty scent.
“Huh, what is that? Smells like something that’d come from Professor Pinkie.” Gallus remarked as he took a few sniffs.
“Yeah, it smells… Wait, smells like apples to me. I mean, it smells great, but apples? I think it’s coming from Professor Applejack’s room.” Smolder said as she pointed towards the door back to class.
Yeah, it did smell like apples, and some cinnamon, and most of all, it smelled fucking delicious. It had to be apple pie, and due to how heavy the scent was, there was more than one pie, and all of them just freshly made and ready to eat. “Oh man, I think the professor has some ‘good job’ pies ready for us. C’mon!” OHHH DAMN! Fresh fucking apple pies?! Now it was a really damned good idea to come back early!
The five of you rush back into class to see Applejack placing a pie on her desk, her desk already covered in enough pies to feed the class, if they took one slice each. Applejack wiped her brow, nodded, and smiled to herself. “There, all ready to go. They should be cooled enough about the time they all get back and…”
“Hey, Professor Applejack! We’re back!” You announce as you all step back into the room.
“You are? WAIT! Y'ALL ARE BACK ALREADY?!” Applejack said in surprise, nearly falling back onto the pies from the sudden appearance of your group.
“Well, actually, it’s just our group, Professor. But you’ll be happy to know that the reason we’re back early is because we finished the assignment.” Ocellus said, feeling confident, and even a little cheery, for a job well done.
“You, er, finished the assignment?” Applejack said in confusion. She seemed like she wasn’t expecting that in the slightest. In fact, her eyes glance over to you for a moment before looking back at Ocellus. “As in, ya found everything?”
“Actually, no.” Ocellus said as she shook her head. “We didn’t find the needle.”
“Not like we had to.” Gallus said with a shrug. “Gotta admit, Professor, that was a pretty good trick. But, eh, way too easy to figure out for the likes of us.”
“Ah, come on, Gallus, Anon figured out the last big part of it. But we all did learn how important honesty is. And once we learned that, we decided to come back here. Honesty is about being truthful with yourself and your friends, right, Professor?” Sandbar asked Applejack, feeling he was right on the nose.
“Don’t forget doing the right thing. Woah, sounds weird saying that out loud. But hey, that’s what makes the world a better place, right?” Smolder adds on, smirking towards Applejack as she puts her claws to her hip.
“Yeppers. And Professor, I bet you’re wondering how I figured it out. Well, it was easy. It was an honesty test, right? Well, given there was no way to find the needle in time, it only made sense that the test was to resist the urge of marking it down on the sheets and get those ‘A’s’, right?” You say as you give Applejack a cool and arrogant smile.
Applejack’s eyes went wide for a moment as she looked down at you, now she was really surprised. “T-that’s exactly right. But how? None of you checked off for the needle?”
You all told her no in your own way, and showed her all your sheets. She could see not a single one of you marked down the needle.
“See? And once that was figured out, as we said, we came right back here. And given we’re the only group here, I can already guess none of the others figured it out yet. So, let me ask, does that get us an extra grade or something? Y’know, for figuring it out?” God, just looking at Applejack, you could see she was not expecting you all to come back so soon, to have it figured out so fast. No wonder Cozy thought you should be a professor, you already had this place licked.
“Well, no, I ain’t really planning on giving out extra grades. It's just there here pies for everycreature that passes the test. Er, let me ask y’all, was Anon the only one to figure out the needle was in a small haystack near Zecora’s?” Applejack asked, as her suspicion of you began to grow.
“Well, actually, we didn’t know the location of the needle at all. Like it was already mentioned, Anon figured out there was no point in looking for the needle due to the nature of the test.” Ocellus states “Technically, we all had figured out the importance of honesty before he figured that last part out. Or at least Sandbar did, as he was keeping us together and trying to make sure we stay honest with each other. In fact, that is what led to Anon coming to his final conclusion, I think. It was through something Sandbar said that Anon realized the needle wasn’t important.”
“I said we had to be honest with ourselves. That’s when Anon figured it out. It blew my mind. I can only imagine what would have happened if we went to look for the needle instead. Who knows, maybe one of us would have been, y’know, tempted? I mean, not really, since we were there for each other. But like Gallus said, it was pretty tempting.” Sandbar said. Pleased with himself for sticking with it.
“Ah see. Well, I’m proud of all of ya then. You passed the test and then some. Didn’t expect anycreature to figure everything out so perfectly, but ah guess that is what ah get for doubtin’. Now, they need a bit of coolin’, but why don’t y’all take a pie and share it amongst yerselves? Although, Anon, ah would like to talk to you alone, is ya don’t mind.” Applejack said, her proud tone becoming a little ominous as she began to stare at you harder and harder.
That look, you knew that look. Did Applejack, the honest horse, seriously not trust you? Holy crap, that’s what it was, wasn’t it? But before you could say anything, Gallus just speaks up, hoping what Applejack had planned wasn’t something super special specifically tailored to you. “Woah, hold on, he’s not getting any extra grades, right?”
“No, Gallus, ah just want to talk to him, that’s all.” Applejack said, her stare never leaving you.
Well then, it was going to be like that, huh? You had nothing to hide this time, so you had the upper hand. Ha, let her try to accuse you. You did nothing wrong and she can’t prove shit. “Well, let’s talk then, Professor.” You say as you give her a falsely adorable look. “I wanna get a slice of that pie too.”
“Don’t worry, Anon, we’ll save you a slice. I’ll even reheat it for you if you take too long. It’s no big. And hey, if you’re getting an award or something, you gotta show it to us, ok?” Smolder said as she waved over to you, shooting off a tiny bit of flame to emphasize her ability to ‘heat things up’.
Oh, there would be an award alright. Not a physical award, mind you, but a personal one for just putting Applejack in her place. Like seriously, what was her problem? Was it really the O&O thing? Ah well, you had nothing to worry about this time, you had this. “Sure, Smolder, sure…”
You followed Applejack down the hallway towards the school library, away from the classroom so your classmates wouldn’t be able to hear what was to be said. Applejack stood before you, still looking at you suspiciously. You didn’t like it, but you also knew she didn’t have anything on you. For once, you had everything, EVERYTHING, on your side. And if she wanted to play a little honesty game, then you’d oblige her. “So, Anon, ya did a good job back there, figurin’ out how my lesson actually works n’ all.”
You take a bow, was she just complimenting you? No, the way she looked, she had a ‘but’ somewhere there. “Thank you, Professor, I do my best.”
Applejack rolled her eyes as her stare became more piercing. “Yeah, which is exactly why ah ain’t buyin’ this little act you’re pulling. You really expect me, that out of all the groups, the one with the little ole’ chaos colt, with this being his first day and all, ain’t cheating?”
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go. You gasp, look to Applejack with a false but compelling hurt face, and bring your hoof to your chest. “Professor! Are you accusing me of cheating?”
“That’s exactly what I’m doin’. You can’t fool me, Anon, ain’t no way you just managed to get this all figured out on your own. So, how’d you do it then? It was your horn, right?” Applejack questioned as she looked down to the necklace around your neck.
“I’ve used my horn today, yeah, but not on your lesson, Professor. Why are you being so mean to me?” You give her a pathetic look as you began to pout. “Why can’t you understand that I have a pretty good grasp on the elements already? I’ve been friends with all of you for so long.”
“Yeah, maybe, but ah also know you pull all kinds of tricks, just like your father. I ain’t blind, I know you and him like to mess with Twilight sometimes. And don’t get me started on this Chrysalis business, and ah mean all of it…” Applejack said in a whisper “I don’t trust you for a second”.
“Tricks? Professor, I would never ever cheat or pull a trick just to pass a test. In fact, didn’t my classmates tell you I figured it out after Sandbar had said we had to be honest with ourselves? Kind of made it obvious that this wasn’t really a scavenger hunt, but an honesty test. Professor, even if I didn’t figure it out, we still would have passed anyway.” You say, trying to act as innocent as possible.
Applejack stopped for a moment to consider that, then looked back at you with a nod, despite her expression still filled with suspicion. “Ok, ah guess I can give ya that one. Still, the point of the lesson was to learn and test your honesty, not actually figure out how the lesson works. Still seems mighty odd that you figured it out that much. So, if you’re really being honest with me, what did you use yer charges for?”
OHHHHHHH, TIME FOR SOME BIG DAMAGE.
“Well, I used one to make my Aunt Fluttershy a safe to keep important stuff for her sanctuary in. You can ask her about that if you still don’t believe me.” You say, in a bit of a whimper.
“Actually…” Applejack stops herself. Fluttershy did talk to her, or rather, everyone about her new safe being given to her by you, it was just never mentioned how you actually got it to give to her. “That makes sense. Did you use your other magical charge thingy then? I know ya got two of em.”
You nod, here comes the critical hit! “Well, I had to use the other to revive Mr. Cranky Doodle’s flowers. Poor guy, a bunch of the other groups had crushed and ran over his flowers in a rush to mark down they had seen a donkey, just to get to finding a needle. It makes me sad, Professor.” You say as you give her a frown, your ears folding back. “Why would they do that? It really wasn’t for the promise of all those ‘A’s’, right?”
“Wait, are you… Wait.” Applejack suddenly tenses up. She began to think hard and fast. She was trying to steer her mind into you lying about it, but she couldn’t deny your tone of voice, your sorryness, and the fact that it actually sounded plausible considering how honest you seemed to be so far. And if what you said was true, then she was partly responsible simply by giving such a crazy incentive to achieve. She bit her lip, and asked. “A-are ya sure about that, Anon? Ah mean, are ya sure it was your classmates?”
You nod, like, a big nod, swinging your head up and down arrogantly.
“Oh boy…” Applejack said as she slowly lowered her hat over her face in shame. “Anon, if I were to ask your group the same question, would they say the same thing?”
You nod. “Yeah, they were all there when I did my thing. Why? Is there a problem, Professor?” You say as you lean in with a smarmy smirk. She had her face covered, so she couldn’t see it, but boy were you loving this. You knew you were above this, this school. This was too easy, it should be a crime for how well you’d destroy this school in terms of being its best student.
“Anon…” Applejack gulped. She was wrong, dead wrong. She could feel the last stubborn feeling leaving her as she knew there was no way to prove you wrong. Even worse, it seemed her lesson backfired, and caused not only Cranky, but possibly even Matilda a lot of trouble. Applejack didn’t know what to say. She was beat, and to you, it was delicious. You could see that even though some of your stuff would need to be verified, that she knew deep down you were right. And then things suddenly got better.
“Applejack? Anon? May I ask what’s going on here?” Rarity calls out as she approaches. “It looks like you both are in some sort of distress. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“R-rarity?! Er, what are ya doin here?” Applejack stammered, not expecting any of her friends to show up during her vulnerable state.
“Well, I came to collect some books on Equestrian history. I thought a few history lessons would suffice for the day, especially if I could find anything relating to my element. Applejack, darling…” Rarity could see it, she could see Applejack seemed awkward and jumpy. “Are you alright? Why are you alone with Anon?”
And that was your cue. Why simply beat Applejack when you can fucking bury her for accusing you on such bullshit. “Miss Professor Rarity…” You say in a whimper as you falsely begin to cry. “Professor Applejack accused me of cheating on her honesty test. But I didn’t, I swear! But she won’t believe me!”
Rarity gasped, appalled, but not willing to jump the gun just yet. “Oh my! How terrible! And I assume Professor Applejack has some sort of evidence of this?” Rarity said as she slowly shifted her eyes towards her.
“Er, well… Actually…” Applejack gulped hard. “Ah don’t. But ah was already, er, done here. Ah know Anon didn’t cheat, so er…” Applejack didn’t know what to say, because as she spoke, Rarity just stared her down ever harder, making her break into a sweat. Applejack knew she was wrong, she just wasn’t expecting to get called on it so suddenly.
“But to even accuse him with no evidence?! Applejack, that is not only unbecoming of a professor of this school, but it is simply abhorrent to even think about. I know you two have some differences between one another, but he is your student, and you must do your best to guide him and teach him the wonders of honesty. And yet here you are, accusing him of cheating. Tell me, what exactly do you think he cheated on? And how do you think he cheated?”
“Ah, come on, Rarity! Ah already know he didn’t cheat and…” But Rarity’s stare, it was becoming as bad as Fluttershy’s at this point. Rarity was livid. Hell, you could only imagine how Fluttershy would react. Fuck, you thought even Twilight would get angry from something like this. “Look, y’know what my test was. Well, his group was the only one to come back to class early. And that’s only because Anon here figured out how it worked. Are ya gonna tell me that’s natural? There was no way, he’s only been here for about an hour! And ya know how he is, ‘specially with this Chrysalis business.”
“Whether you know or not doesn’t change the fact that you accused him maliciously without a shred of evidence.” Rarity said, as she tilted her head up dismissively towards Applejack. She then looked down to you, with the smile of a mother. “Anon, sweetie, are you alright?”
You rush over and hug onto her leg. “No. I just wanted to show Professor Applejack how smart I was, and how much I learned from being around all of you. But now? I don’t know, I feel awful, like I did something wrong. I’m really sorry, Miss Professor Rarity.”
“Shhh, it’s ok.” Rarity said as she gently pet you, shooting another dark glance towards Applejack. “You needn’t apologize, you truly did nothing wrong. If anything, Professor Applejack should be the one apologizing.”
“Oh come on! He’s milkin’ it now! I was gonna say I was wrong already, but now he’s just bein’ all kinds of ridiculous just to make me look bad!” Applejack shouted. As wrong as she knew she was, she could tell you were bullshitting. She knew you enough to know this was not how you typically act.
“Accusing him again, Applejack? I can feel him shivering, I can sense the hurt in his voice. Nopony could fake something like that. Anon truly wanted to take this school seriously, even wanting to become a professor himself! And yet within the first hour, you already make him feel unwelcome. I’m ashamed of you, Applejack.” Rarity said in a cold tone, still patting you as she continued to stare Applejack down.
Applejack shook, her face grew red with anger, she nearly stomped her hoof, she nearly yelled, but instead she growled and threw her hooves up in the air. “Graa! Fine, ahm sorry!”
“Properly, Applejack, properly.” Rarity said as she gave you a gentle hug. “Anon, dear, I believe your honesty professor has something to say.”
“O-oh?” You turn over to Applejack. God, you wanted to laugh, you wanted to smile, but you held it in. Fuck you, Applejack. This is what you get! “Prof-professor?”
Applejack sighed, and gave up. “Ahm sorry, Anon. I shouldn’t have accused you of cheatin’ and lying without proof. I shouldn’t have put you through this at all. I even made some mistakes myself, and ah got a lot of things that need a-fixin. Do you forgive me?”
You rush over to Applejack and give her a great big hug. “I sure do! Thanks, Professor Applejack. I sure did learn a lot about honesty today! But I think you need to learn a little about honesty and trust yourself. But I know together, we’ll both learn!”
Applejack’s eyes went wide as her anger bubbled. Did you just tell her she needed to learn about honesty and trust?! Applejack was about to toss you away and let you have it, verbally speaking. But then Rarity had cleared her throat, still staring at Applejack as she made hugging motions. She wanted Applejack to hug you back. Applejack was sickened, but at this point, she had no choice. You had made her your bitch. “Y-yup, ah guess we do.” She said as she wrapped her hoof around you.
VICTORY!
“There, I hope we can put this all behind us now. And I certainly hope there will not be anymore baseless accusations, hm?” Rarity said, her focus mostly on Applejack.
“...Er, yeah…” Applejack said as she looked away, taking her hat to hide her face once again.
“Oh, I will never do that! You can count on me, Miss Professor Rarity!” You say as you give her a salute.
Rarity giggled, finding you using the mix of ‘Miss’ and ‘Professor’ both charming and adorable. “Anon, you are as your aunt says, a gentlecolt. I can’t wait to have you in my class. Oh my!” Rarity said as she gasped, bringing a hoof to her lips. “My class! I need to find those history books. Well, ahrm, I hope you learned your lesson, Applejack, because Anon here certainly learned yours.”
“Good. And a goodbye to you, Anon. I wish you good luck. Though, given how you managed to figure out Applejack’s lesson…” She shoots one more glare towards Applejack “Without cheating…” She then looks back to you with a sweet smile. “Then I am sure luck is not needed.”
You shake your head adorably as you began to wag your tail. “Nope, I’m really smart! I got this!”
“I’m sure you do, and then some.” Rarity said, with another amused little giggle, giving you a wink as well.
And with that, and your goodbyes, Rarity walked off towards the library, leaving you alone with Applejack.
Applejack was humiliated, defeated, and could not pursue this any further. She lost, and you ran circles around her. All she could say, in a weak and broken tone, was “W-well, l-let’s get headin’ back. G-got an announcement to make, s-since the others should be gettin’ back soon…”
Yesssss, victory for you, Anon. And this was really good too. Applejack can no longer pull any of her shit on you now, and not only was Fluttershy automatically in your pocket, but so was Rarity. And with Pinkie’s class seemingly being easy as fuck, all you really had to worry about was Rainbow Dash. And given you and her were somewhat close at this point, well, what could go wrong?
The return to the classroom was a near quiet one, the awkward silence broken by passing students, some consisting of Applejack’s, returning from their hunt. Applejack greeted them, of course, but could say nothing further to you as you triumphantly marched back inside the classroom. What followed was not only further victory, marked by pie, but also your absolute innocence as Applejack addresses the class about the Cranky issue, her fears becoming a reality as some of the students ears began to fold, others twitching or frowning upon the realization of what they had done. You conversed with your own group over pie, mostly with the almost surfer voiced Sandbar wanting a chance to learn more about your ‘adventures’, and the rest asking what even happened, in which you replied that the ‘Professor’ was just curious as to the method of you solving her little ‘test’.
Applejack, however, was truly learning the folly of her own trust in her students. As she had began looking through their sheets, she could see that some of them had checked off the needle. She of course had to ask, in a way that didn’t sound like asking about the needle itself, if they had found the needle on her farm, which the ones who had marked it off said yes. Applejack had simply nodded, sighed in disappointment, and had decided to tell her class she will be grading the sheets of this class and her four other classes and reveal the grades tomorrow. This was, of course, simply so she could gather her own senses, not yell at them, since she was already emotionally distraught, and deal with it all the next day, she even let everyone have pie anyway, simply as to not arouse suspicion. You could tell she wanted to go off on them, but she was already humiliated with her prior accusations, and she couldn’t get her mind off of it enough to properly handle her students. Of course, you already had your grade locked in, so it was nothing to fret over, especially over Applejack’s mood.
Ocellus could sense the depression in Applejack, and given the answer of some of the students, she could deduce why. She wanted to talk about it with all of you, but by the time she opened her mouth to bring it up, the bell rang, and it was time to move on to the next class. For you, it was goodbyes to Smolder, Sandbar, and Gallus, as Ocellus had the next class with you. Smolder, oddly enough, just asked you and Ocellus to let her know if today’s class involved dresses ‘or something like that’ as it was something she wanted to avoid as much as possible. You could do that, you could warn her. Ocellus though, she just said ‘we should embrace what our professors are trying to teach us’, because of course she would, she is a goody two shoes, albeit a cute one. Smolder shrugged with a sarcastic ‘sure’, and headed off with the rest of the group as you followed Ocellus to Rarity’s class. Although Sandbar had to be pulled away by Gallus, as he still had a few questions to ask. It was a good thing he didn’t ask anything about Chrysali- Wait…
As you followed along with Ocellus, you couldn’t help but realize that she exists within the group. As in, a changeling that was in your basement was in the group, the one who already got Smolder asking you about Chrysalis back when you confronted her about Garble. Hell, your victory over Applejack was now replaced with tension as you wondered what exactly Ocellus had told everyone else, as you remembered her mentioning back near the cottage that she had stayed with you. “Hey, Ocellus, can I ask you a question?”
“Oh, is it about Professor Applejack? Because, actually, I wanted to ask you about her, and what really happened. She suddenly didn’t seem very interested in the results of the test, or really, she seemed to be very sad about it. Are you sure there weren’t any details you missed when you talked about why she asked to see you alone?” Ocellus asked, at first, ignorant about how you felt, until she herself felt it, causing her to frown and worry. “Or… Is it something about me?”
“Actually, it is something about you, something that just began to worry me.” You tell her, suddenly feeling even more tense about what you were going to say as her optimism began to quickly leave her.
“I can’t think of what you mean. Unless, is it, erm, something about our old queen? Wait…” Ocellus then realized what you may have wanted to talk to her about. She could not only see it in your face, but she could sense it as well. This was not to say changelings were mind readers, they weren’t, that much was clear. But they could read emotions, at least on a surface level, considering you were able to trick Chrysalis a couple of times before. But for Ocellus, this emotion she could sense from you, considering you and an orb were the only source of food at one time, she knew the emotion you had only pertains to Chrysalis. Realizing this, and what she herself has done, she immediately tries to calm you down about the subject. “If you’re worried about what I’ve said, it really isn’t much. I’ve mentioned mostly what everypony knows. That your father, Discord, had trapped us in his basement, and that you had attempted to reform us, later on with the help of Princess Celestia. Nocreature knows that you actually were our former queen’s friend… Well, except for Smolder, but even then, she doesn’t know much. She’s been wanting to ask you about it, actually, I-I guess that chance hasn’t really come up yet, right?”
Wut? “Yeeeah, that was pretty much it, how did you know that was what I was going to ask? And don’t say lucky guess.”
“It wasn’t. I just sensed a very familiar emotion from you, the usual emotions you have about Chrysalis. But I promise you, Anon, I haven’t said too much. It’s up to you to tell your new friends whatever you feel comfortable with.” Ocellus said as she began to calm down, feeling less nervous as she attempts to give you a smile. Though, as she gave it more thought, she began to frown once more, tilting her head down as she began to think about Chrysalis herself. “...Though, sometimes I think about it, and… Can I be honest with you, Anon?”
Honest? Considering the class you just obliterated, how much more ‘honesty’ can there be? And leaving the rest up to you? Oy, how were you even supposed to explain to them you were Chrysalis’s friend? They didn’t even know the intricacies of your character, and none of them have ever even dealt with a dangerous changeling, so they could never truly understand your friendship. Well, was it really an issue anyway? Smolder was interested, but unless the others ask, then it shouldn’t be a big deal. “What is it, Ocellus?”
“I’d… Erm, actually wish you’d just stop trying to be her friend. She used you, Anon, she used all of us. Her ambition was always to-” Oh, you did not want to hear this one. Almost like a snap, you stop and stomp your hoof towards her, looking at her with a fierce glare.
“Don’t even say it. Ocellus, you’re wrong, and you will always be wrong about that. I know what her ambitions are, you know I do, and I know even now that she wants to fulfill them. But we’re still friends, and I have my own ambitions to reform her, even today. Why are you even bringing this up? Hm?” You nearly growl at her, why the fuck was she even bringing it up?
Ocellus backed up slowly, shivering, scared of your reaction. “S-sorry, s-s-sorry! I-I was j-just worried. C-chrysalis, she’s scary, Anon. All she ever wants is to destroy and rule, she doesn’t care who gets in her way. We used to be like that too, and we don’t want to be anymore, I don’t ever want to be like that anymore. I know she is your friend, but do you think, in the end, she’d choose you over complete domination? I know you’re still trying to reform her, Anon, you have to be, y-you were obsessed with it. I-is it really worth it? What about all your other friends? Your family? I-I… I just don’t want anycreature getting hurt.” Ocellus sighs, stops, and turns into a potted plant. Why? You don’t know, was she trying to just hide how she felt? “I wanted to say this to you for awhile. But I also thought that maybe you would have known she’s just… Too evil. I was inspired by you, and yet, it scares me to think your 'friendship' with her can be used to hurt everycreature, and to hurt you too.”
She was shivering, she was actually frightened. And worse, she wasn’t far off from the truth. But you knew all this already. Chrysalis was ambitious, and she wanted victory badly, but you felt her bond with you was stronger than that, even if she herself refused to admit it. Like, ok, sure, killing Twilight would be a major bonus for her, but you weren’t going to let that happen. Everything was already under control, you had this, so there was no reason for this bias and fear over her. “Ocellus, you’re mostly not wrong, and I acknowledge that. Chrysalis is evil, and she’s willing to destroy others just to slake her own lust for revenge, trust me, I know it, I think I know it more than even you do. I know, it's weird to say, considering you’re one of her many kids. But unlike you, or them, I think for myself, and my thinking just so happens to match up with hers sometimes, we have a connection, and we’re able to see eye to eye. We’re both trying to reform one another. That, I believe, is her current ultimate goal, wouldn’t even be surprised if that included getting all of you back. Let me tell you this, Ocellus. At this moment, I’m this close to getting her to see things my way. That’s right, I know where she’s hiding, and not only have I spoken to her, but so has Headmare Twilight. Yeah, that’s right, Chrysalis not only spoke to Twilight, but they both sat down and watched that movie, you know the one. So, what do you think about that?”
The bush shook again, but this time, her tone was puzzled. “She… Met with Headmare Twilight? And she didn’t try to blow her head off? That doesn’t sound like… Wait. Does that have to do with why our former captain has been hanging around the school lately?”
You nod. “Exactly, but you need to keep that all a secret, ok? I really mean that. I’m only telling you because I could see this was eating you up, this whole ‘Me and Chrysalis’ thing. I just want you to be ok.”
The bush wiggled again “I-I think I’m feeling more ok, I never thought any of that could ever happen. But, why is Scrappy here then? He’s here because of Chrysalis, but why? What is the reason?” She asked.
“Well, basically, it has to do with the shackles on my legs. Chrysalis is going to try to kill Headmare Twilight, but she can only hurt her, hurting anycreature else will cause her to die instead. To me, it sounds impossible, so I’m sure, deep down, even Chrysalis knows it's impossible, and knows her plan will fail. Nocreature will get hurt, and as part of the deal, she’ll reform. What do you think, sounds pretty good, right?” You know, despite the fact you were smiling at her, that kind of deal didn’t sound as good as you tried to make it out to be when said out loud.
“What?! Anon!?” Ocellus extends her branches and brings you close so she can ‘whisper yell’ at you. “How could you even allow that?! Chrysalis would never EVER even think that! She would stop at nothing to make sure she reaches her goal! She doesn’t like to lose, Anon. She is going to find a way, you know that, right?! How could you be so nonchalant about something like that?! And how could Headmare Twili-…” Suddenly it just dawned on her. If Twilight knew as well, then that must mean the other professors know too, and if they know, then the princesses knew. Ocellus, upon realizing this, nearly falls over, bewildered by such a fact. “Everycreature above us already knows, don’t they?”
“Yeah, Ocellus, that's what I was trying to tell you. Even the princesses know, so it’s ok. Scrappy is here to make sure Chrysalis can’t get close, he’ll be able to sense her from a mile away, so no problem. Trust me, we all got it covered. So please, relax, and keep this between us, ok?” Hell, telling her that much might not even be a bad idea. If Scrappy could sense her approach, then Ocellus should be able to as well, right? Now you have double the alarms set.
“It’s all so much to take in. Anon, you know you can’t force her to reform, right? I am being honest when I say that even if she loses, she won’t give in to you. Do you even have a plan set for when you stop her? Or are you just going to let her go?” Ocellus asked. How odd. Ocellus, who had seemed so caring and cute before, seemed to really be afraid of Chrysalis, even seemingly hating her, despite the fact she herself no longer had to deal with her.
“Yeah… I do actually. Ocellus, I know you haven’t really seen me since you left my basement, but I do realize some of what I’m doing might not work out. I’m prepared to seal Chrysalis in Tartarus myself if she continues to be a threat.” Your tone, your feelings, it was with such a heavy heart that even Ocellus had to take a sharp breath, noticing how much such a thought hurt you.
“Anon…” Ocellus changed back to her normal form. She was looking at you, with tear filled eyes. She found the whole situation tragic, as she felt that was the most likely outcome. As much as Ocellus knew you could be crass or a perv, she also knew you had a good heart, or felt you did anyway. “I-”
But you interrupt her. You didn’t want to dwell on the subject anymore at this point. Having to imagine taking down Chrysalis hurt. So having Ocellus feeling sorry for you was not needed, you didn’t need the emotional baggage. “Forget it, Ocellus. Look, I get it, you hate her, everycreature pretty much does. I’m giving it one last shot anyway, and if it doesn’t work out, then that’s that. All I ask is for you not to say anything to the others, and if you feel she’s close by, then to let me and Twilight know, ok?”
Ocellus stood there, silent. She realized you were asking for her help, and it scared her. “Anon, I… I…” But what could she do? It was going to happen anyway, and if she completely avoided it, noticed something, and said nothing, then it could mean the end of Twilight, and that was something she couldn’t allow. “Alright… But that’s all I’ll do. I’d rather just stay away from her, and this, altogether. But if its to make sure you and everycreature else will be ok, then I can help you. But please, don’t ask me to do anything more, ok? We changelings, we have embraced our change for the better, and none of us want to go back to who we were before. I know she wants that, and I’m scared that if she saw me, she’d try to make me bad again… Or worse. So please, no more than this, please?” She said as her ears lowered, looking at you with such a whimpering sorrowful expression.
Hmmmmnnn, fine. You can’t force her to like Chrysalis, and it’d be unwise to push her. At this point, it’d probably be best not to bring up Chrysalis again in her presence, she really just seems to reject her in all forms. Poor Ocellus, going from love starved to who she is now, it’s really no wonder why she’d fear Chrysalis. Alright, you can do with this. “I promise, Ocellus. Look, sorry about snapping at you before. I shouldn’t expect you to think the way I do.”
“I-it’s ok, Anon, I forgive you. And, erm, I… I…” She had to stop, and take a slow easy breath. “I understand. If everycreature is ok with this, then I can’t stop them. I’ll come to you if I sense her, but please, I really… I just really don’t want to see her myself, is that ok?”
You nod. “Yeah, that’s fine. I don’t expect you to go that far for me. I just need a little extra help, that’s all. Look, I can tell you’re really uncomfortable and I don’t want to cause you any more trouble. Let’s just head to class, ok?”
“O-ok. And, Anon…” Ocellus gently calls for your attention one more time.
“Yeah?” You ask, looking back at her.
“Good luck, and stay safe, ok?” She tells you, meaning every word.
You nod, looking at her with a reassuring smile. “Hey, it’s no problem. I am the Hero Colt, you know?”
Welp, it was time for generosity class, a class that should go much better for you than honesty class. Not that you didn’t fucking nail it, but Rarity found you absolutely precious, so failure was out of the question. Aside from Fluttershy, Rarity is probably the only other pony from the mane six who likes you and enjoys your company. However, once you were about to step inside the class, you noticed Silverstream at her seat, adorably sitting there with a smile, waiting for class to start. Shit! You grab onto Ocellus by her waist and pull her back, plopping on your side due to the awkwardness of your grab, confusing her greatly.
“Anon?!” Ocellus said, surprised “W-what are you doing? Why did you grab me like that? Are you ok?” Ocellus said, confused, hoping you weren’t suddenly going crazy or angry about something further.
“I’m fine. Ocellus, I had to ask you something, something about Silverstream.” You say as you quickly stand, dusting yourself off.
“Silverstream? But, Anon, I already told you everything.” Ocellus said, thinking you wanted to know what she had told her.
“No, no. Er, I mean…” You shift your eyes, looking left and right, making sure no one was close by. “You can sense love, right?”
Ocellus nodded, even further confused by your sudden odd behavior.”Er… Yes? All changelings can sense love, we can sense it better than any other emotion. But, why are you asking about that?” Funny, she figured out the whole Chrysalis thing, but this was eluding her.
“I was just curious, ya know, because of the whole ‘saving her entire race’ thing. Does she, y’know, love me in anyway? At all?” You say, feeling a little nervous yourself over the question. "I mean, meeting her from before, seems like she did."
“Anon, why are you asking that kind of question? Don’t you have a marefriend?” Ocellus asked, already beginning to sense feelings you yourself shouldn’t be having.
“I mean, yeah, I’m just curious about Silverstream. I can’t be curious?” You ask, staring at her, just wanting to fucking know the answer to your question.
“You can, but you also shouldn’t. It isn’t right.” Ocellus said, her tone slowly becoming one that was trying to steer you down a proper path.
You just roll your eyes at her. “Holy crap, Ocellus, don’t act like you don’t know who I am. I’m loyal to Diamond, ok? But hot damn, Silverstream is cute too and I just want to know if I stood a chance.”
“Anon, you should really get that under control. It is very rude and not nice to even consider those types of things when you are supposed to be in love with another.” Ocellus explained, trying to lecture you.
“Ocellus, if I had known you were female back when you were in my basement, before I became official with Diamond, I probably would have had you in my bed every ni-” But before you can even finish your sentence, Ocellus slaps you.
Ocellus, after slapping you, blushed, gasped and sat down as she covered her mouth with her hooves. “Anon! I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me! I…” And then something, something even Ocellus couldn’t identify, snapped in her mind. She looked at you with a scowl, then raised her head high, looking down at your shame. “Actually, I’m not sorry. Lust is a bad thing, Anon, you can’t just go lusting over anything you find ‘cute’ or that other word, ‘sexy’ I think it was. Erm, even if that ‘cute’ and ‘sexy’ thing is, er, me? Yes, me! I may have liked you before, but I would have never done something like t-that, erm.” For a quick moment there, Ocellus seemed to have doubted herself for a second. But no, she knew she wouldn’t. Even when she was evil, and yet, inspired by you, she knew she’d never go that far. And with that, she changes into Diamond Tiara, staring you down, and saying. “Now apologize, mister!”
Geez, she actually hit you! That was, kinda hot coming from her. But dammit, she just didn’t understand. There was nothing wrong with knowing if Silverstream had a crush on you, it wasn’t like you were going to exploit it for nuzzles and cuddles or anything, you’d never do that, never ever, never ever ever. “Ocellus, geez, you got it all wr-eep!” Shit! She changed into Diamond! And that stare, god, it was almost like looking at the real thing being pissed off at you. “Ocellus, c’mon, don’t do that. She doesn’t even call me ‘mister’, you know that, right?”
“Oh… Erm, well, whatever she calls you, you should still apologize to me and to her, er, if I was her.” Wow, Ocellus was actually stepping up. It was almost like, with the subject of Chrysalis herself, that this was one hell of a touchy issue. Even with all that though, and even changing into Diamond, she was faltering, even shaking a little. And yet, the cuteness, mixed with the reprimanding, and the fact that, yeah, ok, maybe what you asked was a little wrong…
“Ok, ok, I’m sorry. Geez, heh, really feel strongly about that, huh? Well, I guess the bed comment was, er, kinda bad. Look, ok, I get it. I’m a lusting bastard, but I also mean what I said, I’d never actively betray Diamond Tiara. I promise you that. I just, look, can I at least know if Silverstream has any feelings for me so I can let her down easy if something ever came up?” You were genuinely sorry, like, damn. Still, there wasn’t wrong with a little lust, right?
“Mmmm, well… Ok, I forgive you.” Ocellus changes back to her normal self and sighs, glad that she and you was past all that. “As for her having feelings for you, she surprisingly doesn’t, even after meeting you. She just sees you as the ultimate hero, and she’s already kind of affectionate, so, erm, it’s really more that she can’t help hugging you because she finds you cute. She adores you, Anon, but only in a way of looking up to you rather than being your, well. You know.” Ocellus said.
Well, damn, that’s all it really was? That was kind of disappointing, actually. No, get that out of your mind, Ocellus could probably sense that the disappointment of not even having a chance for Silverstream to give you lewder nuzzles was within you, and you didn't want that. Dammmn, no, no, no, remember Diamond, Anon. Ok, ok, you got it. “I see, well, glad I got that out of the way. Er, I mean, was that worth all that hassle? Slapping me and all?”
“Anon, I could sense lust coming off of you, it is a very powerful feeling. I even felt it towards me, and I just... I don't know, just don't do that, ok?” Ocellus tells you.
You just make a grump face and roll your eyes. “Eh, fiiiine, ok, let’s just get to class before we’re late.”
“Ok, and remember, being good and not thinking about other girls will take you a long way, Anon. I just know it! Erm, but er, now that everything is ok. I am sorry about hitting you” Ocellus said, as she began to frown. "I didn't really mean to do it."
“It's ok, really, I really did deserve that.” Like, not completely, but whatever.
“Ok. Hm, I can’t wait to see what Professor Rarity has planned. She’s very nice and classy, I like her.” Ocellus said, her voice becoming happier and sweeter as she thought ahead with positivity.
“Well, you’re not wrong, she’s pretty neat. And I admit, I was wondering how she teaches her class anyway.” Like, seriously, it has to be better than fucking Applejack. “Like, how do you teach generosity? Have you guys done one of those test things like with Professor Applejack?”
Ocellus shook her head. “Not yet, but Professor Rarity has been very kind to us all, she is even willing to make us all dresses and suits for an upcoming school dance… Which I think is a very very long ways away, but erm, it’s still nice to have that offer.”
Because of course Rarity would, that was actually really nice of her. You could be arrogant since you’ve dressed snazzy all on your own. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to wear whatever Rarity might make you, it will surely make her happy, something you didn’t mind at all given how she sees you. “Yeah. That is nice.”
You both then entered the classroom. Rarity was still sitting, waiting for class to officially start, But upon spotting you two, she couldn’t help but smile and greet you both. “Ocellus, and Anon, welcome! I hope you’re both ready for a ‘historic’ day in my class.” Rarity said with a giggle, amused by her own pun.
“Oh yes, Professor Rarity, I’m always excited for your class. What are we going to learn today?” Ocellus asked as she took her seat.
“Well, I thought I’d pinpoint a more recent and yet historical moment of generosity and read the story to the class, then we can discuss it, learn from it. But, ah, before we even begin, I must introduce our new student, who I hope…” Rarity suddenly becomes a little stern, still visibly upset from the way Applejack treated you. “Will be made to feel most welcome. Anon, dear, would you like to greet the class?”
Of course you will. You nod to Rarity and ponder for a moment on how to open your introduction. Though, it wasn’t long until Silverstream finally lost her composure and cheered for you loudly across the room. Yona, who was next to her, along with… Oh, holy shit, Cozy Glow is here too? Perfect… Although her ears are getting blasted right now by Silverstream’s sudden screech. “It’s Anon! The hero colt! He’s finally here! In our class! Wooooooooo! Anon! Hi! Hi hi hi!” She waved to you in excitement. “Are you going to tell everycreature how you beat the Storm King? I’d love to hear all about that! Please, please?!”
W-woah, no love or lust for you, eh? Was she really that innocent minded? “Erm… I mean, I don’t want to interrupt Miss Professor Rarity’s class or anything.”
Some of the other students, obviously not even from Ponyville, were already whispering to each other. Some found you cute, others couldn’t believe the ‘Hero Colt’ was so small and young, others were already looking to Rarity herself, some wanting to hear the story now that it was brought up. But, Rarity felt it was irrelevant to her class. It’s not like she herself minded that you’d tell it, she knew it was quite an interesting story, but it wasn’t the time or place. So she just politely looked to Silverstream and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Silverstream, but this simply isn’t the time for that. Of course, you’re welcome to ask Anon himself about it during lunch or after the school day is over. That is, of course, as long as Anon doesn’t mind.”
“I don’t mind. Hey, Silverstream, if you wanna hang out during lunch. Y’know, it’s cool. I mean, I don’t mind all of my friends hanging out with me.” And you shifted your gaze towards Cozy Glow and winked at her. “That means you too, Cozy.”
Cozy blushed and squeezed her cheeks adorably as her wings flapped. “O-oh, I-I’d like that, Prof- erm, Anon, I’d like that a lot.”
Yona nodded to herself. “Yona interested in story too. Everycreature make the Storm King sound like big deal, but yaks could probably crush him if they knew Storm King existed.”
“Yes! YES! I can’t wait! I only have what my cousin has told me, and I just want to know so so so much more! I want to know how you reformed the Storm King’s evil captain, how you traveled the seas, how you-” But the excited Silverstream is interrupted by Professor Rarity, who was clearing her throat loudly at her. “O-oh, but later, right, at lunch! Ooooooooh, I can’t wait!
Rarity couldn’t help but smile though, she enjoyed the enthusiasm. But again, there was a time and a place for everything. “Ahrm, in any case, I suppose Anon needn’t introduce too much of himself as his reputation already precedes him.” Rarity says with a chuckle. “I can confirm that Anon is indeed the hero the stories proclaim him to be. But that has nothing to do with generosity, and as I mentioned, can be spoken about at another time. But, Anon, I do welcome you to my class and I very much hope it is to your liking. You may take any empty seat you like. And do prepare yourself, today’s lesson will be quite a treat and I am simply excited to know the kinds of discussions you and the rest of the class will have after I’m done. Ah yes, one last thing. As charming as it is, I’d prefer you call me ‘Professor Rarity’ or just ‘Professor’. I know you are just being polite, but I’d like it if you treat me as you would any other teacher.” Rarity then stepped a little closer to you, winked, and whispered. “Of course, with how you conducted yourself with Applejack, I’d not be surprised seeing you as my peer soon enough.”
Damn, and she said you were charming? Rarity was making you feel like a million bits right there. God, it feels good to be you. Ah, but a seat, a seat… Well, there was an empty seat between Cozy Glow and Ocellus. And given your last meeting with her, you knew she could use some company if she hadn’t found a friend using that compass yet. You take the seat by her, as Silverstream just looked past Cozy with a grin, happy to have you close by.
“Golly, Anon, you’re really sitting close to me?” Cozy said, again looking quite blushy and very happy to have you so close. “Are you sure? M-maybe you’d like to sit somewhere else.”
“Bah, my friends are along this line, Cozy. And that means you too. Actually, ahrm, Silverstream, Yona, Ocellus, you’ve met Cozy, right?” You ask, looking towards the both of them, then to your opposite side towards Ocellus.
“Yes, she nice.” Yona says with a nod. “A nice friend.”
Silverstream just nods enthusiastically “Mhmm! She’s super nice! We already became fast friends last night!”
Ocellus nodded in agreeance. “Mhmm, and on top of everything else, she has mentioned her friendship with you as well. It almost seems like destiny that we’d all meet together like this. But, er, maybe that’s looking too deep into it.” Ocellus said, feeling embarrassed over her corny revelation.
Shit, that was fast. Looks like the compass worked! Ha! Anon, you fucking genius, you knew everything would be ok. Starlight was being too worrisome. Well, so were you, but whatever, it worked out! “That’s awesome to hear. Heh, I guess you really took to my ‘pinpoint advice’, huh?” You say with a wink.
Cozy tensed for a moment, even shifted her eyes. But then she smiled, with no hint of deceit in her voice as she cheerfully said. “Yup yup! Your ‘pinpoint advice’ led me right to my newest friends! It’s all thanks to you, Anon.”
You caught that, that odd hesitation. But, why w- ahaa, of course, you told her something you were expecting for her to catch, referencing the compass through the words ‘pinpoint advice’, but it just didn’t connect with her as immediately as you thought. Thinking about it now, it is amazing that she caught on at all to what you meant. Means you and her are more in sync, making you as much a professor as she says you are. Why else would she hesitate? “Aw, Cozy, it wasn’t anything too big. But hey, you look a lot happier now than last time we spoke. I bet you had a lot of fun last night.”
“Oh, erm, actually. I got super sleepy and went to bed early. But that’s ok, right? I still have plenty of time to spend with all my friends.” Cozy looked to Silverstream with big soft eyes. “That is, if you’ll spend time with me. I want to learn all about you all so so so much. Golly, I want to know so much more than that too!”
“So do I! I want to learn about everything above water, since, well, all I’ve ever known is what is underwater. Speaking of water, did you guys know that super cold water that drops from the sky comes out as a powder called ‘snow’? It sounds amazing, I heard you could do a lot of stuff with that, and even play games! Like, er, what was it called? Right! Snowball fighting!” Silverstream said as she excitedly clapped her talons. “I can’t wait for it to snow! I’m gonna try to make a snowagriff, or a Hipposnow… Erm, hmmm, I wonder what you call a snowpony version of a hippogriff.” Silverstream then giggled happily as she looked to you all. “I’m gonna be the first one to give it a name, that’s for sure!”
CYUUUUTE! Why did she have to be so cute?! It’s like even the most mundane thing excites her, it’s crazy! “Yeah, actually, we should all have some sort of team fight the next time winter hits. There’s eight of us right now, could have a four way two on two. Or heck, I could get my friends outside of school to join in and we can have a snowball war!” Yeah, that actually sounds sort of fun. Of course, if you could drag Lyra and Bonbon into it, then you’d side with them, Bonbon has to have one hell of a trained throw, given that secret agent stuff. You'd also have to make sure Diamond was on your team, because, well, she's your marefriend.
“Yona join in for sure. Yakyakistan almost nothing but snow, so yaks have plenty of time to practice and become best snowball fighters. Yona love to show you all her skills.” Yona said, her smile becoming a little slick as she pounds her hooves together.
“Hmmm, well, I guess I could give it a try as long as it isn’t too violent. Being a changeling, I’m sure there is a form that might give me some sort of advantage. And given what Yona said, maybe turning into a yak would give me that edge.” Ocellus said, contemplating on a strategy.
“Yona say do that, then you can see for yourself how good yak throw is.” Yona said with a wide smile and nod.
“I’d love to give it a try with all of you too! Um, but if we’re going to be doing it a lot, then I won’t be able to join in all the time. I’ve got a lot of studying I know I have to do to be the bestest best friend I can be. But that’s ok with everycreature, right?” Cozy asked, again looking to everyone with eyes that asked for acceptance.
And of course all of you accepted that, even you. But damn, she really wants to put all that work into studying what can essentially be put into practice? Whatever, you’d just have to do your best to make sure she doesn’t become some studying busybody and learn to have fun. Friendship wasn’t that serious, and it was clear this school was going to be a cakewalk.
“Alright class, lesson time! If I can have the attention of the class, I’d like to begin reading the story of two brothers born in Fillydelphia. This story, mind you, will show you that generosity isn’t always what it seems. And in this case, can show what love in a community and between two brothers can achieve. I hope you all learn something from this, as I truly believe its lesson will help all of you go far. Now, without further hesitation…” And then Rarity began to read.
“Now then, students, prepare yourself for a story of tragedy, love, regret, community spirit, cooperation, and of course, most importantly, generosity. In fact, there are quite a few elements in this tale that is sure to illuminate the mind and make one think profusely on the meaning of such meaningful acts.” Rarity said as she paced left and right, making grand motions to express her words. “Now, our tale begins just a few generations ago in the city of Fillydelphia. Bit Pincher, a rich pony with a rather unfortunate name, had passed. Who was this pony, you wonder? Well, despite the name, he was a well known owner of Pincher Horseshoes, back in a time where horseshoe fashion was all the rage, or was, given it had waned by that point. But despite that, Bit Pincher was a successful stallion in everything he did, including raising his two sons, Gold and Silver Pincher. To the point that he had left them an inheritance, all he owned in bits, split among the two of them.”
“Now, these two brothers were not of the miserly sort, oh heavens no, I hope none of you thought that. For you see, these two brothers, despite being twins, were quite different from each other. Gold had an eye for carriages and wagons. Why, even at a young age, he had built countless models of both, wanting to grow up to become a designer and bring his models to life. His brother Silver however, had no need for fame and fortune. Silver merely wanted to make others happy, he found rich fulfillment not in money, but in bringing happiness to others. Now, for as long as they had lived to that point, these brothers were always together, playing, laughing, without much care in the world other than their own interests. Gold in particular was attached to his brother, and had told him he wanted him as a partner in his business. Silver would handle the legal and paper work while Gold does the designing. This is what Gold wanted after all, a team of two, separate from their father’s own business.”
“But Silver had no interest, despite the care he had for Gold. Silver’s dream was to open a company that specializes in loans. Now, that may not sound like what you think, but Silver’s dream was different then those uncouth loan sharks in the big cities of Equestria. Silver’s company would be a place where no interest would ever be charged or accrued, and money can be paid back at any time. Silver felt if he invested half of the half he already inherited into this business, then he could live comfortably enough on the other half if he lived as other ponies less privileged than himself do. While Gold saw it as noble, he also saw it as foolish, and begged his brother to join him, as his dream was delusional. But Silver would not budge. Silver felt his brother would do well on his own, and did not wish to hamper him with his own pursuits of happiness. Gold was devastated. Indeed, all he ever knew from his brother was teamwork, fun games, and teasing the fact that their father’s rich company during dinner were boring and uptight. Part of Gold’s dream was to be a team for as long as he and his brother lived, but alas, when the time came, it did not come to be.” Rarity said as she began to slowly tear up. “Sorry, class, I think I may have been a tad dramatic there. But I must press on! As there is more to this tale.”
“With Gold’s dreams betrayed, he became bitter towards Silver, telling him his company would fail and that he would have wished to join him. Silver was distraught, not understanding what came over his brother, and tried to calm him. But Gold would have nothing of it, feeling his brother had chosen a doomed dream over his own kin, he proclaimed he’d start his business in Manehatten, away from any ‘distractions’. And before Silver could do anything about this, his brother was gone, without even a letter. Now, it took some time, but Silver did realize why his brother was so upset, but on the other hoof, he could only hope he’d come around and not abandon his sensibilities over the choice he made. With that, Silver Pincher changed his name to Silver Lining, to remove himself from any renown his family had garnered and quickly went to work setting up his new business, ‘Silver Lining Lenders’.”
“Meanwhile, good on his word and filled with resentment in his heart, Gold had set up his business, ‘Golden Chariots’. Now, Gold was no fool, many of the designs he had made throughout his life were genius in their composition, so he knew he only needed a factory filled with competent workers to help him build his eventual empire. Indeed, he knew to make money, you had to plan every last detail. And so, he began his plan to become as well praised as his father, and to show his brother there was no value to his ‘useless’ dreams.”
“Back in Fillydelphia, Silver had already managed to gain quite the clientele. Being spending savvy, he converted a decently sized home into a small living space within his new business. That way he could do what he loved without ever having to take a trip to or from another location. And with another small investment dedicated to advertising such, as his brother thought, insane business practices, it wasn’t long until ponies from all over the city came to borrow bits for the things they needed… Or wanted. ‘Nopony would be refused, not even a foal’ was his creed, and he lived by it without hesitation or thought of his own well being. In Silver’s mind, he was already fulfilled. Ponies would come to thank him, to converse, sometimes to even invite him to dinner. Most did their best to pay him back in a timely manner, while others… Not so much. Either way, he had enough money to sustain himself, so all he really had to worry about was the well being of his brother, wondering what had become of him thus far in their lives.” Rarity then noticed Yona raising her hoof, and called to her. “Hm? Do you have a question, Yona?”
“Yes, Professor. Yona not understand, Yona thought this would be a story of a bad brother trying to ruin a good brother, that good ponies from city that were helped by Silver would come to fight off Gold. Is that not how story goes?” Yona, asked, confused, feeling the story was going to take a more cliched route.
“Actually, I want to take a guess at that. Gold sees his brother is doing well and comes around. And that leads to them making up and becoming good with each other and accepting one another, right?” Seemed like one of those stories to you.
“Well, actually, you’re both wrong.” Rarity then gives a soft wide smile and chuckles her womanly giggle. “This isn’t a story from a storybook, you two. It’s quite real, a true generous moment in history. Trust me, darlings, we are just getting to the juicy bits. Now then, to continue…”
“About a few moons later, Gold had become quite successful in making a name for himself. He had already tripled his investment, had bought himself his own mansion, and was selling off his high class wares without much issue. He thought about his brother Silver from time to time. During the days of success, he would think to himself how foolish his brother was, and how he must be impoverished and begging to be by his side by now. But his arrogance would dwindle at night, wondering if Silver was in a bed as warm as the one he owned, if he was alright, if he was safe. These thoughts plagued him as he had not received a letter from Silver since he left, though he himself, due to his pride, had never tried sending a letter to Silver. Although, the irony to that is also the fact that none knew where the other lived, so there was that as well. Eventually, Gold found himself rubbing hooves with other rich ponies like himself. Though often times, Gold would find himself in the same kind of boring company his father would surround himself with, causing him to have realizations that fame and fortune didn’t always bring happiness, as he knew these ponies were of a more superficial sort. It made him think of his brother even more, and wonder about his own dreams of helping and mingling with those who looked beyond their own success, as meeting ponies with similar and more profound interests seemed to drift further and further away as he became more successful.”
“Silver, in truth, had slowly but surely lost money as his business went on. Now, it wasn’t that he minded such a thing, but having to reinvest into his own business was finally making a dent in his inheritance. The more he lent, the more frugal he had to live. But it was worth it to him, as the less privileged classes of ponies praised him and saw him as a friend and Savior, he was making a difference in their lives, and it brought him nothing but joy. Then, one day, a shady looking pony appeared. This pony, bitless, began to weave friendly and pathetic stories of desperation to Silver, telling him he needed a grand loan to make his own dream come true. Now this pony was as slick as he was disgusting, feigning his pain and sorrow to tug at Silver’s heart strings, playing Silver like a fiddle until Silver agreed to give him just about everything he had. This pony promised to pay Silver tomorrow, all of it back, and then some, when his plans came to fruition. Unfortunately for Silver, such plans were to simply take his bits and run. Ultimately, this not only destroyed Silver’s business, but left him near bitless himself, something that had already begun to catch on in the newspapers.”
“In fact, Gold, who had taken a trip to Canterlot to find those who he hoped would be better at conversation, was relaxing in his hotel room reading the papers. He had come upon the article of his brother’s business failing. At first, due to the name, it only reminded him of his brother’s ‘foolishness’, feeling it was a certain fate for pointless dreams. Of course, upon seeing the picture of ‘Silver Lining’ himself, he felt his heart sink. Indeed, in his own hubris, the fate he had imagined his brother would come to had actually happened, something he never truly wanted to happen. His own thoughts now plagued him, as he could already see the article’s mention of this happening a week ago, a week had passed and he had no idea! For the first time since he left Fillydelphia, Gold was truly scared, frightened by the fact that he may have lost his brother. Wasting no time, he took the first train back to Fillydelphia to seek out his brother.”
“Upon arriving, he had found his brother’s former business quite easily, although the building was already closed down, as Silver had sold everything to get back at least enough money to help sustain himself. Gold was crushed, he fell over, and weeped, not knowing what became of his brother. It was then a random family of ponies appeared, asking him what was wrong. Gold lamented, telling them he was the brother of the former owner of ‘Silver Lining Lenders’. He told them he had not seen his brother for many a moon, and only wished to see him at least one more time.”
“To his surprise, the family had heard of Gold, knowing him not just through his fame, but from tales Silver himself would tell his clientele, his... Friends. Gold went wide eyed, frantic, asking the family, even looking to the filly with crazed eyes, what happened to his brother. What was told to Gold, well, you could say it nearly truly made his head spin. He learned that Silver was quite alright, and had a home recently bought for him in full by those he had helped. Indeed, those who had legitimately needed the money before, some who even went on to be successful themselves with such a stringless deal that they had received, had been helping Silver during his hard times, making sure he was fed, happy, and well. Gold couldn’t believe it, he didn’t think it was possible. And why would he? Aside from his brother, all he knew from those he interacted with was selfishness and snobbery.”
“Gold had asked the family where Silver was, and upon getting his answer, he made haste to his home. During such haste, Gold had ran into many a pony in which his brother had helped, every story told to him more touching than the last. They were stories of what he wanted for himself, success not just financially, but socially as well. The reunion with his brother, I could only imagine from what I read, was truly touching.” Rarity sniffed, having to wipe a tear from her eye with a handkerchief. “I apologize, I truly do, but this part always gets to me. Because when Silver opened the door to Gold's knocking, he couldn't believe what he saw. They met eyes, tears flowing as they stare silently at each other for a half minute, and hugged onto each other like many a time in their youth. Gold apologized profusely for abandoning Silver, for not being there in his time of need, for calling his dream useless, and for everything else. He begged for forgiveness, in which, as a brother would, Silver did. Gold had explained how amazing it was, how amazing that many ponies were willing to help Silver without wanting anything in return. That they seemed so friendly, so caring, and so loving. And of course, Silver only smiled, and explained that friendship and love isn’t built on greed and success, but love and generosity. To Gold, it seemed his brother had achieved everything he wanted after all, but as the two spoke, Gold could see that his brother was troubled that he could no longer continue his business, that he was unable to help anypony else who might need his help.”
“This put Gold deep into thought. Gold didn’t want to lose his brother again, he didn’t want his brother to suffer, he never wanted his brother to feel that he may have failed in some way. He could not, and would not, abandon his brother ever again. And even more, he thought about how one time long ago, he had wished to have a partnership with his brother. And then, an idea came upon Gold. He made an offer to Silver. He would bring his designer career as a rental service back to Fillydelphia, renting his wagons and carriages out for an affordable fee. This way, he could give his brother the money he needed to reopen ‘Silver Lining Lenders”. And not just to reopen, mind you, but to help supply his brother with any bits he may lose keeping his business model. At first, Silver could not accept, as he felt he was bringing his brother down with his own misfortune. But Gold was successful for a reason, explaining to his brother that he was right that his business wouldn’t do too well without earning money, and so the rental service was needed to keep things afloat, something he knew he could make a profit in as ponies would not be able to resist being seen in his carriages. He also explained to Silver that it was his dream, just as he had mentioned before, to be a team with his brother, and explained that while his business didn’t succeed on its own financially, it did succeed in bringing harmony to the hearts it touched, and he would like nothing more but to help his brother maintain such harmony. Silver was overwhelmed. To have his brother back, to bring his dream back to life, to be working together. In truth, even Silver had wished to work with his brother all this time, but he too was stubborn about his own ideals, not wanting a business that made any kind of profit from the ponies he wanted to help. A shame what pride can do to ponies at times, something even I have struggled with at one point or another.”
Woo, she wasn’t wrong on that one, good on her to admit it though. But this story, hrn, so far it wasn’t half bad, went in a direction you weren’t expecting given both brothers were good in heart, something that seemed the opposite of two other brothers you knew.
“It was then that Gold had brought his whole operation down to Fillydelphia, buying a factory there while also buying Silver’s old company and reconverting the old living space into the rental part of the lending company. The business itself was renamed from ‘Silver Lining Lenders’ to ‘Platinum Rent and Lend.’. The brothers worked together, maintaining their bit flow so they never had to charge interest or set a due date to any money or wagons they lent, and to maintain any and all wares they rented. Even to this day, the service still exists under these same two brothers, working tirelessly despite their old age. Their business is still quite popular, and it stands as the very meaning of generosity when applied to the business world. Any and all who need help, even if they are a foal, can always count on Gold and Silver to save the day!” Rarity concluded, sitting back down at her desk as she took a moment to relax herself. “Oh my, I really immersed myself into the narration that time. Ahrm, but that is the end of the story as well. A wonderful story in generosity, if I do say so myself.”
Snowball war, when that happened, you had to be prepared. No cannons on your back, that is a bad move. Indeed, a really really bad move. Could use an auto-turret, or use your magic to just cast a ‘flurry’ spell to obliterate your opposition with a barrage of snowballs. But eh, Diamond and Bonbon would probably get on your case and…
“Anon?”
And then there’s the fact that using chaos magic would actually make things too easy. Nobody would acknowledge your actual skills and…
“Anon?”
Wha? You break out of your thoughts to see your friends looking at you, confused. Ocellus looked especially confused, not even getting a read on your current emotional state.
“Anon, your head ok? Yona not cause it to hurt and become lost later after challenge?” Yona asked, looking at you like you were crazy.
“Huh? No, no, just got lost in thought. Uh, we were talking about the story’s morals, right?” You asked.
Yona nodded “Yes, and Yona already greatly understand it. Yaks have always understood working together and being there for one another. Yaks work hard to keep Yakyakistan strong and good. Yaks always work together because it’s what’s best. Although, Yona admit we have hard time working together with others who are not yaks, because they not understand yaks.”
“Oh, yes, I understand how that is because we changelings used to hate everycreature, we believed in only ourselves, so I kind of get the whole ‘not working together thing’. But ever since we changed, and Thorax became our king, we have been learning to accept help while doing our best to help any in need. It’s still kind of hard, since somecreatures don’t completely trust us. But if it is anything like that story, then maybe, one day, we’ll be seen just like everycreature else. We’re already willing to help when we can, erm, mostly. We do have some trouble with more scary things.” Ocellus says.
“Well, Hippogriffs have worked together for a super duper long time!” Silverstream said joyfully before coming to a halt in her mind, then shrugging. “Though, I guess that’s because we were together for a super duper long time. Not much you can really do when you’re hiding from an evil king all your life.” Silverstream’s endless energy finally seemed to lose steam for a moment before she looked back up to you all with a hopeful smile. “But I hope, with all these lessons and all the time I have to spend with you all, that I learn everything I need to help all hippogriffs become super duper, er, super, uh, everything! That’s right, everything, every element ever! That’s how you would say it, right?”
You almost laughed. Silverstream was strangely adorable, had she really been underwater and secluded from the world for so long that these kinds of concepts were foreign to her? Weird. “Sounds right to me. Well, to put in my two bits, I get the moral of the story and all.” Hell, you were even surprised by it. For a good while, you pretty much thought that the ways of this world, as kindly as many a pony can be, would lead to success for Silver. But you should have realized that the kind of business model he was using would never actually work no matter the universe it was used in. “Being generous can have its own rewards, and even then, it is self fulfilling as well. I’ve done things like that myself, so I get it.” You look over to Cozy with a smile. “Cozy Glow here was looking for a hero to help her with her own friendship issues, and of course, me being me, I was happy to help.” You say, feeling rather fulfilled and a little pompous about it all. Why wouldn’t you? You were doing good deeds, and you were awesome. “Given how last class went, I can safely say I already know and understand this and every future lesson, if I do say so myself.”
That cockiness, it resonated with Cozy and Silverstream to revere you even more while Ocellus seemed a little sickly about it, perhaps feeling, or just knowing, you were being overly arrogant about it now. Of course, with Cozy speaking next, it only served to boost your ego. “Oh yes, Anon has been oh so very generous to me. When I needed help, he was there. When I was sad, he was there to cheer me up. When I needed advice, he was there to tell me exactly what I needed to know. It’s why I like to call him ‘Professor Anon’, at least outside of class. I hope, one day, I can repay him. I want to show Anon that I understand everything about friendship. In fact, and golly, I hope it doesn’t make me sound too ambitious, but I want to show everycreature that I can be just as good at it as Headmare Twilight. T-that isn’t too much, right?” She asked, looking sheepishly at everyone.
“Nah, it just means you have big dreams. But big dreams means you have to work extra hard to get to them.” You say as you give Cozy a gentle rub on the head. Although, now you began to feel guilt settle in. Why did you say that? How was she even going to react once you told her the compass was the last magical thing you were going to help her with? Poor thing… But, she did seem in much better straits now. She didn’t need your magical help anymore, so you were sure you could word it in a way that would be encouraging to her. “You’re up to the test, right, Cozy?”
Cozy looked at you with a great big smile, flapped her wings, and nodded. “Mhmm! Gee, sometimes I feel more than ready after all your help.” She said as she hovered over to you and gave you a gentle hug. “Once I make my big dreams happen, I pwomise to find a way to pay you back.”
All that optimism, it made you feel genuinely good inside. Perhaps this is how Silver felt when he was running his business. Yeah, Anon, you did good, you’re doing everything right. “Aw, you don’t have to do that, Cozy. I’m just glad I was able to help you out.”
Ocellus could sense genuine care in you this time, no lust whatsoever. She smiled, and looked at you, not only happy with you, but even feeling proud of you. “Anon, that’s so sweet. I didn’t know you were helping her that much.”
“Well, she kind of needed it, Ocellus. She was having trouble making friends here in school.” You say, which, for some reason, prompted Cozy to speak once more, her tone being just a tiny bit faster paced than before. Almost as if she was trying to correct you.
“M-mhmm, but everything is ok now. I even had Counselor Starlight to help me too. Now I already have more friends than I ever ever thought I’d ever have.” Cozy said, making a bright smile towards all of you.
“Ah, Anon…” You suddenly hear from your side. It was Rarity. She seemed rather concerned as she approached your group. “How are you doing?”
“Huh? Oh Mi-, er, Professor Rarity. I’m doing fine, just discussing the lesson with my friends.” You tell her.
Rarity suddenly calms down, she then gives you a bright smile. “Very good, exactly what I like to hear. Pardon me for interrupting you then, to all of you, actually. Given that nasty little incident from before, I was honestly afraid you may feel uncomfortable with our school in general. That is why…” Rarity’s horn begins to glow as small cups of tea gently land on each one of your desks. “...I thought some tea would be good for everycreature. It’s calming, helps relax the nerves, and is excellent to drink during conversation. I just want to make sure everycreature is comfortable in my class, especially after any possible stressful events they may have gone through.”
Once again, Rarity shows her class. You all take your tea as Rarity leaves a teapot for you all to use as she makes her way to give another set to the next group. You all thanked her, of course, and resumed your conversation. Which, really, didn’t have much else to go. Ocellus talked about how thankful she was that the generosity of ponies allowed her race to continue. Yona talked about more yak stuff. Silverstream was just enamored by it all, always commenting how hippogriffs didn’t know this or that for the longest of times due to their predicament. Really, perhaps things would have been more interesting with Smolder or Gallus present, given the fact their societies aren't exactly 'generous'.
Then there was Cozy Glow. She didn’t have too much to say at all, only making cute comments or always agreeing with everyone in the group. Hell, the only real thing she had to add herself is that in the future, she wanted to show everycreature a meaning of friendship from her own mind. She didn’t elaborate too much on it though, even after you asked what she meant. You expected some cutesy answer, but instead she only said “Silly Anon, it’s a super secwet surpise!”. Poor Cozy, whatever it was, you hoped it didn’t blow up in her face too badly.
In fact, as class ended and Rarity addressed everyone, mostly telling them to have a ‘fabulous’ day, you couldn’t help but think about your discussion with Starlight about Cozy again. And that was on top of Silverstream trying to pull you away once you stepped into the hallway, to discuss more about you and your ‘crazy adventures’. Ocellus, thankfully, was able to convince her to talk to you later, if only perhaps due to the reason that she didn’t want her alone with you until you ‘sort yourself out’. You wanted to talk to Cozy, but you’d save it for after school, you didn’t want to upset her and ruin her mood for the rest of her classes.
“Anon, golly, what are you doing just standing there? Are you being silly again?” Cozy said, suddenly staring up at you as she broke your train of thought.
“Huh? Oh, er, Cozy? Yeah, heh. ‘Silly Anon’, lost in thought is me. But hey, how are you feeling? Loving your new friendships?” You ask her, feeling a little awkward, doing your best to seem like you’re in better spirits.
“Mhmm, you’re all the bestest friends a pony could ever have ever! That’s why I wanted a chance to talk to you. Lucky I caught up with you, right?” Cozy asked as she looked up to you with a great big grin. Christ, you could already feel the guilt settle in. And yet, hearing that, at least you knew she was happy, that was a plus, right?
“Huh? What about?” You ask her.
“Well, it’s about your magic. I think I shouldn’t ask you to use it to help me anymore. I was reading up on your lesson thingy with your dad, and I didn’t realize how much work went into chaos magic, it made me feel oh so awful. You put so much effort into making sure nothing bad happens when you use it, and asking you to help me with anything that is supposed to be full of harmony is dangerous, I felt so bad over it. I’m so sowwy, d-do you forgive me?” Cozy looked up at you with big eyes, big teary eyes as her ears folded back. D’awwwww. Welp, looks like you didn’t need to break her spirit, she did that herself.
You gave her a warm smile and gave her a pat on the head. “Don’t cry, Cozy, if anything, you, er, passed my first lesson! If, well, I was a professor.” You say as your smile turns into a near sneaky grin.
“Passed your lesson?” Cozy asked, confused.
“Yeah, like, you should never rely on magic to make friends when you already have such a wonderful personality. Well, the compass was fine, as it looked like you needed just a tiny bit of help, and magic is an element of harmony, I guess. But yeah, you just can’t rely on it and all that. Seems like you passed my lesson with flying colors, and even made friends doing it. If I had the authority, I’d give you one hundred ‘A’s’.” Damn, Anon, you are so goddamn smooth. No way the little cutie is going to be depressed after that.
“W-wow, d-do you really mean that?” Cozy stuttered, looking utterly amazed.
You nod. “Yeppers, good job, Cozy.”
“Golly, I-I guess I really am getting a hang of this whole friendship thing. Yay!” She said with an adorable flutter hop. “Thank you, Professor Anon, for all your help!” She said as she jumped into you and gave you a hug.
Oh, Anon, you fucking rule. You have this whole school wrapped around your hoof at this point. You’re practically a god. Fuck being a professor, you should be Headmare, er, stallion. Oh, wait! She mentioned your lesson with Discord. You really should ask about that, but if you did, she’d know you were spying on her. Best to keep it to yourself for now, even if some of it seemed suspicious. But the compass, that was an oddity you could ask about. Because as you thought more about it, it made you wonder why it would lead to your own new friends if she already has classes with them. Surely she should have been able to make friends with them without the compass pointing to them. Like, Ocellus and Silverstream are friendly as hell, there’s no reason as to why Cozy shouldn’t have been able to at least talk to them. “Aw, no problem, Cozy, it’s what I do. I’m just glad the compass was able to help you. Speaking of, I gotta ask, are you sure you really had trouble making friends? You weren’t just shy, were you? C’mon, you can tell me, I won’t tell.”
Cozy recoiled for a second. Oddly, it didn’t seem out of embarrassment, as she didn’t blush. No, instead it seemed like she wasn’t expecting this inquiry at all, and almost seemed like she had to think about it. Maybe she was just nervous, as you probably had it all figured out. After that moment however, she looked up at you, smiled nervously, and nodded. “Y-yeah, I-I guess I was. I-I just didn’t think I’d make a good friend. I should have said something to you, Anon. Gee, I’m really sorry.”
You smile, shake your head, and once again hug the downtrodden filly. “Relax, Cozy, no apologies needed. I’m not mad, ok? I can understand why you’d be shy and nervous. But hey, now you have friends! Lots of friends! And I think that’s great. Really, I’m just glad the compass helped you out.”
Cozy’s ear twitched as she looked up at you, sniffed, wiped her eyes, and slowly began to smile adorably. “Professor Anon, you really are the bestest. And yeah, the compass really did help me out…” Cozy’s smile, for a quick moment, suddenly felt a little eerie before she tilted her head and began hugging the air adorably. “...More than you can ever know.” She then looked back at you with a determined look and nodded “But you can count on me. I won’t ask for any magical help! Just regular help, ok?”
“Ok! And I’ll always make sure to give you as much ‘regular’ help as I can.” You tell her with a wink.
“Yay! And, oh! Professor Anon, we better get to our next class! Do you have Professor Pinkie next?” Cozy asked.
“Nah, I got Professor Rainbow Dash. But hey, don’t fret, ok? It’s not like we have to have the same classes to hang out. And hey, I got friends outside the school you can meet, just saying. So don’t worry, Cozy, ok? Just focus on your classes, it’ll be alright.” You reassure her.
“I know, I wasn’t going to get upset or anything. How can I? You care about me so much, there’s no way I can be sad now!” Cozy says with another adorable hop. “But you have a good day with Professor Rainbow, Professor Anon! We’ll see each other during lunch, ok?” Cozy says as she begins to walk off.
“Gotcha, I’ll see you there!” You tell her as you wave goodbye. So far so good. But as Cozy began to walk off, you began to get a familiar ringing in your ear…
You take an alternative path back outside towards the courtyard of the school, to answer the call in private. You see the fountain in the center, and duck next to it to answer the call as other students walk about.
You place your hoof over your ear and answer. “Discord? Yo, what’s up?”
“Oh, nothing much, just deathly worried that YOU’VE BECOME HARMONIC, GOOD, AND STRAIGHT-EDGED!” Discord yelled angrily at you, with a bit of a sob as if he was worried. Good god, this again?
“Discord, are you fucking serious? You really think this school is going to change who I am? Fuck, christ, it’s only the first day. And if you remember, I had to spend an entire week with Twilight, and nothing happened with that. You could literally have that not have happened and nothing would have changed. Fuck, man, if anything, I did something that would have made you proud.” You tell him. Yep, he got worried again over something he shouldn’t have. Probably let it build up inside until he couldn’t hold it and called you.
“Hm? Something I’d be proud of?” Discord asked, suddenly calming down as he became intensely intrigued. “Do tell. I want to make sure you’re being truthful about that.”
You just roll your eyes. Typical Discord. However, you also begin to smirk, because as you start to tell him everything that happened with Applejack, you actually became excited to hear how he reacts.
As you explain things, Discord never says a word, seemingly listening to your story all the way to the end. “And then I had some pie. Y’know, the one Applejack couldn’t take from me because she fucked up so bad. Discord, trust me, the face she had when she found out it was the other students that fucked up was fucking gold.”
Discord chuckles, and then has a bit of a laugh. “I actually feel nauseated simply for missing that! And using your charm to use Rarity as salt on her wounds, oooooooh, now that is something I can say I would do. Serves her right anyway, blaming us for her own ineptitude, believing you would cheat at something so simple to solve that using magic to find an answer would have been a waste of talent. Ahhh, sooooo delicious. Good work, Anon, you were right, I am proud. Just remember not to pull that kind of stunt on Fluttershy, not something I should have to remind you about, but you never know.”
“Aw, c’mon Discord, I know Fluttershy is off limits. But yeah, I made sure to get some gooooood revenge on Applejack. So, you gonna calm down now? I think I deserve a reward actually, don’t you think?” C’mon, Discord, do it. You managed to pull off a great feat of chaos, you deserved something.
“Perhaps you do, but considering you and your broken horned friend bothered me yesterday… You get nothing.” Discord said with a chuckle “Doesn’t mean I’m still not proud of you though.”
Typical… “Ah well, alright. So, is that all then? You calm about everything?”
“Yessss, I suppose. Oh, by the way, you have another important piece of mail that came in today. It’s a summons, actually. You really have a thing for riling up the royals, don’t you, Anon?” Discord said, his tone becoming sly.
WHAT?! “Holy shit, what does Celestia want this time? Seriously, fuck off with her shit, why can’t she leave me alone?!”
“Not Celestia. This time, anyway” Discord states.
Wut? “Not her? Well, it can’t be Luna, she just fucking invades my dreams whenever she wants something from me.”
“Excellent deduction, it isn’t her either.” Discord says
“Cadance?” Wut? What does she want?
Discord began to giggle. “Oh, Anon, why do you always assume it’s a princess? Then again, the princes of Equestria aren’t anything of note, are they?”
Princes? “What? Shining Armor? Is it him? What does he want?”
“Oh, not much. Seems he couldn’t contain himself and wants to have a heart to heart with you. Seems he can’t stand his sister being in mortal peril, the jaws of absolution gnawing at her hooves, the end coming at any moment, those sorts of things. Says right here that he doesn’t actually believe you are capable of what you say you can do. I believe he just wants you to give up Chrysalis's location so he can arrest her. My, oh my, seems he’s fed up with the whole thing. Funny how it is just him and not his wife; Cadance must have some faith, even if it is just in Twilight. Shining must want to talk to you in private, and in secret, not wanting anypony else to know. Personally, I don’t see what he’s getting his armor twisted for, Chrysalis has no chance in succeeding in her plan. But sometimes I forget that ponies can be even more illogical than I am.” Discord said, musing to himself a bit on Shining’s intentions.
Wuuuut?! The fuck?! Where does Shining get off?! Despite his position, he couldn’t protect Equestria from a paper bag! “Fuck him, he knows where to find me. If he really wants to talk, he can bring his ass right here to Ponyville. Hell, we’ll have a little pow wow with Twilight. Because we both know Twilight, knowing what’s up, isn’t going to risk a life, even if it is Chrysalis’s.”
“Do you want me to reply to the letter for you then? I could just put down exactly what you said and be done with it.” Discord said.
“No, just send him a letter saying if he wants to talk, then come down to Ponyville, talk to Twilight, and then come get me. I’m not going all the way over to the Crystal Empire to get talked down to by a non character.” You didn’t give a shit if you had a free teleport to get there, it was a waste of time either way.
“Understood. I’ll keep the letter plain, brief, and boring. Other than that, I really have nothing else to talk about. All I ask is to make sure, if you are going to learn anything there, that what you learn is a little more ‘kindness’, if you know what I mean.” Discord said.
“I know, I know, like I said, I know Fluttershy is off limits, and I’ll make sure she feels proud of me. Dunno how she’s going to react when she finds out how Applejack treated me though, it’ll probably be funny.” You say, grinning a little over it.
“Undoubtedly to be the hot topic of our next tea session.” Discord said with his own little chuckle.
“Yeah, heh, well. If that’s all then, I really got to be going before I’m late. And don’t tell me you don’t mind that, Discord, because just think about how Fluttershy would react if I did decide to be late for no reason.” You tell him.
“Ah, now, you have me right there. Bravo. Well then, I’ll talk to you later, Anon, but be sure to let me know of any more antics you find yourself in. You have a chaotic day.” Discord says as the transmission is cut off.
You should have been in a better mood after that praise. But Shining Armor wanting you to go over to meet with him over Chrysalis? Fuck him, that guy can never and has never done anything useful unless it was some lucky bullshit. He has no right to meddle in your plans. If he gave so much of a damn, then he’d just take a few extra measures to make sure Twilight is safe and that’s it. Considering Twilight is already on board with your plan, Shining Armor should have nothing to say about it. Seriously, fuck that guy.
Whatever, you make your way towards Rainbow Dash’s classroom. As you do, you could already see her outside her door, talking to a rather gruff Stallion in overalls and a hard hat. You didn’t get a chance to hear what they were talking about, but whatever it was, Rainbow was beaming, she was excited aboueaszTDGAFSZRGD.
“Anon! There you are! No time to say hello!” Rainbow Dash yells as she zips towards you, grabs you with her fucking wings, and rushes inside the classroom as she nearly dunks you into an empty seat and quickly hovers to her desk, looking to the class with a smile as she shook like she was Pinkie Pie. Hell, she didn't even go back outside to talk to the stallion either. What is this all about?!
Yikes, that smarts! Your ass was not as strong as your head as it burned from the slam down onto your seat. You noticed Ocellus was in this class too, as was Smolder and Yona. But you didn’t get a chance to do much of anything else as Rainbow Dash began to address the class in an excited and frantic manner. “Yo, everycreature, and welcome to another loyalty class. And, uhhh…” You could see Rainbow Dash quickly opening her desk and slamming in a bunch of papers into a drawer. “We have been doing tests about exactly that given to me by Headmare Twilight. Buuuuuuuut, that’s lame, especially since there is something we can do that is sooooooooo much cooler.”
Cripes, she didn’t even introduce you to the class like Rarity or Applejack did. What the fuck got her so excited?
Ocellus, already confused, began to speak. “Erm, professor? Does ‘coolness’ have anything to do with loyalty?”
“What?! No, er, yes! Look, I’m gonna give you all a choice. Super boring paperwork, or super awesome surprise. So, who’s all for the paperwork!” Rainbow Dash calls out.
No one said a word, except for Ocellus, who still just seemed rather confused. You had just regained your senses and was trying to figure out what the fuck has Rainbow Dash so excited, but you couldn’t guess what. Even more so, you kind of want to slap her for slamming your ass down like that.
“Ok, one, and all for the super awesome surprise?!” And of course, everyone spoke up for this one. You, however, only said nothing because you wanted to just ask her what’s up, still finding yourself feeling that pained sting. But you weren’t going to get that chance to ask as Rainbow Dash immediately flew out of the room. “Alright, everycreature meet me out front, and don’t take too long, ok? Ok!”
You just sat there, blinking. Wut? Did Rainbow Dash just ditch having to do any actual teaching work? Ugh, fine, whatever she’s interested in to slam you down like that has to be good, you’ll let it slide. It was then, suddenly, you felt a tapping at your side. It was Smolder, wanting to chat it up with you as you all began to exit the school. “Yo, what was that about? Does Professor Dash typically slam you down on your seat? Like, as some sort of training exercise?”
Training exercise? Oh, oh geez, she must have heard that RD trained you for that whole physical test thing. “Er, no actually, just seems like something has got her excited, and I know it has nothing to do with me. Was she acting like this yesterday?”
Smolder shook her head. “Nope, she was acting like she had to get used to teaching period. You alright? It almost looked like she sent you through your chair.”
“Yeah. Tch, you’d think she’d treat me better after everything we went through.” You say, still feeling the pain of being slammed onto a seat. Rubbing your butt with your hoof to try to soothe the sting.
“Something tells me whatever it is that has got her this excited must be really cool. Especially if she didn't even care to check if you were ok.” Smolder shrugged as she shoulders you. “C’mon, Anon, don’t be a baby. It couldn’t have been that bad. Oh, by the way, you had Professor Rarity’s class just before this one, right? Nothing about dresses or tea parties or anything like that, right?”
“No, there wasn’t any-Wait, a baby?! Hey, just to let you know, and you should know this, I’m a great and pow-” Oh god, don’t finish that phrase, Anon. You can smell it, the sense that Trixie can sense anyone else who calls themselves ‘great and powerful’. “Whatever, you know I can take anything thrown at me, I just wasn’t expecting that.”
Smolder chuckled and waved her claws at you “Aw, c’mon, I was just messing with you. Relax, alright?”
Hm, so she wants to play like that, eh? “Alright alright. Anyway, to answer your question, Professor Rarity had us all in dresses and suits. She said I looked adorable and served tea like a true little gentlecolt.” You say with a grin.
“G-guh! Y-you mean, i-it’s like a real te-tea party?” Smolder asked as her eyes widened, stopping in her tracks as she nearly trips taking a step back, her face suddenly flushed with fear.
“Nope, but now I know that… Wait, that stuff scares you? I mean, don’t be a baby dragon, Smolder, I was just messing with you.” You tell her with a grin, while deep in thought on how something like that could seemingly scare her so badly.
“Ok, ok” Smolder says as she extends her arms, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. “I get it, you got me, I’m sorry. Look, er, it’s not that I’m scared, it’s just that I’m a dragon, ok? Dragons don’t dress up like that at all. It’s embarrassing.”
Tell that to Spike. Then again, he was an outlier, and you already got your humorous comeback at her, so it was all good. Still, it seemed to be freaking her out more than it should. Interesting, to say the least. “Well, I guess I can understand that. And besides, if you didn’t want to do that stuff and you talked it out with Counselor Starlight or Professor Rarity herself, I’m sure there could be some arrangements for that not to happen, if it even ever happens. I mean, we did get served tea, but it was just to relax the class, mostly the ones who experienced the whole thing with Professor Applejack.”
“Oh, well, that’s ok, I guess. And everycreature got tea to ‘relax’ them? Hmph.” Smolder crossed her arms as she grunted. “Guess nocreature told her almost everycreature but us either trampled some flowers or straight out tried to cheat.”
You shrug. “Yeah well, she did experience how Professor Applejack accused me and I think that was enough. Professor Rarity is nice, I really didn't want to see her more disappointed than she already was”
“What you two talking about?” Yona asked suddenly, out of nowhere, as she slowed down her stride to walk with the both of you.
“It’s not something scary, is it?” Ocellus asked as she joined in, feeling fearful vibes coming off Smolder. She hovered close to Yona and landed at her side. “You both don’t think Professor Rainbow Dash’s surprise is a prank, right? B-because I heard she’s actually a good pranker.”
“I doubt it. Pranking the whole class wouldn’t sit well with Headmare Twilight. Then again, I have a feeling whatever she wants us to see wasn’t really sanctioned by her either.” It couldn’t be, given how she said she was straight up evading whatever Twilight wanted her to teach. And that stallion she was talking to, he had a hard hat on. Did it have to do with the renovations on the Colosseum? To convert it to a stadium? Yeah, that had to be it, right? “In fact, I think she’s taking us to see the new school stadium.”
“What? Why? Yona thought secret would be about loyalty. If Yona wanted to see stadium, Yona would see it on own time, to either play pony games or cheer team on.” Yona said to herself as she began to think on it. “Maybe this like secret test instead, like one Ocellus talked about with Professor Applejack.”
“I’d like to think it’s that. But I have a feeling Anon may be right. Should we tell Headmare Twilight? I don’t think the professors here are supposed to be deviating from teaching friendship lessons.” Ocellus said, wondering if what Rainbow Dash was doing was right.
But you? Well, if Rainbow Dash was THAT excited over it, then whatever it was had to be cool. Well, maybe cool in a ‘TV Y’ sense, but you always wanted to see a ridiculously and cartoonishly modeled place before… That wasn’t Discord’s house. “Nah, c’mon, let’s check it out. If it is the new stadium, then it is still technically part of the school. And besides, what’s wrong with a little fresh air, huh?” Oh man, you hope it has huge torches of twisting fire, or team lounges with literal soda fountains, maybe your face painted into the center of the stadium, since it was originally about you after all. The possibilities were endless, and you wanted to see what the place had become.
“I’m with Anon on this one. Doing some boring classwork is so lame compared to seeing what our new stadium looks like. Loyalty isn’t even that hard… Well, it is for dragons a lot of the times, but… Well, you get the point.” Smolder said.
“Well, Yona does like the sound of looking at new stadium better than boring classwork.” Yona said.
“Then it’s settled… Almost… Ocellus, c’mon, it’s not like stadiums get built every day. The professor obviously has a lot invested in this and she probably just wants to see it and show it off at the same time. If you were super excited about something, wouldn’t you want us to see it?” You ask her, more hoping than knowing she couldn’t fight that logic.
“Well, that is true. If there was anything I wanted to show, I’d hope you all would want to see it. Mmmmm, ok, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to see the new stadium.” Ocellus said, finally convinced that it wasn’t worth it to alert Twilight of what Rainbow Dash was doing.
And with that, you and the rest of the class exited the school to see what Rainbow Dash was so excited about. However, it seemed you all had to walk further as Rainbow Dash hurried you all along to the train station, seems it really was about the stadium. It's a long enough trek for Yona to step up to your side, seems she was curious about something. “Anon, Yona have question about your head.”
Wut? “Uh, what about it?”
“Yona been thinking about it, and Yona wonders how it REALLY got so tough. Yona know that not even earth ponies have heads as strong as yak. But Anon, despite being puny, has head as strong as Yona. So what Yona is really asking is what training did you do to get so tough? Yona figures that if she tries it, Yona be able to smash anything no matter how tough it is because Yona already strong yak.” Yona said. Wait, hold on, training your head?
“I thought you thought that I ‘trained like yak’” You mention. Wondering why she was suddenly so curious.
“Yona realize you couldn’t have trained like yak because you never meet yak before Yona. So then Yona realized it must be something different and also amazing if tiny pony can become almost as good as yak. Yona must know secret!” She says with a stomp, knocking nearly everyone down, except for you, you actually bounced up and fell on your head. “See? Like that, Yona wanna know how you don’t even feel any pain.”
You may have not felt the impact, but that didn’t stop your body from slumping down and making you nearly eat literal dirt. You slowly stand up, spitting out any dirt near your mouth, and look to Yona with an annoyed and tired look. “Look, Yona, seriously? All you need to do to make your head stronger is to train like I do, by bashing your head into things. Also… Calm down with the stomping, geez.”
“Wait…” Ocellus said. “I thought your head got stronger through constant clumsiness and unwanted head trauma.” Holy crap, Ocellus, was she totally ignorant on how embarrassing that sounded?!
“W-what?! That’s not true! Do you have any idea how much work I put into my actual training to be able to headbash anything? I could smash through the stars themselves if I wanted to, even without my magic! It’s called hard work!” Really, where the fuck did she even get that idea?! I-it wasn’t true…
“Yeah, are you sure about that, Ocellus? I’ve seen Anon use that thing before, literally nothing can beat it. Nothing so far, anyway.” Smolder said, confused by Ocellus’s assessment.
“I’m pretty sure.” Ocellus said, somehow ignorant of your plight despite her damned ability to read emotions. “Anon has fallen many times, even from really high up. He’s been hit, kicked, smashed. I even heard from our old q-, er, somecreature that Anon even accidentally ran into a cannonball launched at his head and survived it, possibly with no brain damage. I sometimes think Anon’s luck is really high or low at times, almost cosmically so. Though, involving his head, sometimes I wish he’d get that checked, you never know when it might be-EEP!” Goddammit, fuck that shit, you cut her off right there as you stomp towards the center of the group.
“Fine, ok, I’m a little clumsy! But she is way over exaggerating it! You and Yona have seen me use my head before. Do you really think it’s because I trip or get hit or whatever she was saying? Because that’s just wrong. Also, I don’t need any kind of luck, I’m simply thatFASASSDAS” Suddenly, from above you, a gigantic and extremely dense metal cube comes flying out of nowhere and careens into your head, sending you spinning forward as you slide on the dirt with your face, the cube still flying forwards as a familiar Time Turner gives chase.
“Sorry everypony!” He yelled as he ran by “A bit of trouble with the magnets! Everypony duck low now, my magnet experiment has sent this metallic object flying unpredictably!” He yelled out further as the cube suddenly makes a right, away from the class, as Time Turner disappears into the town, rushing towards the cube.
“Woah, Anon! Are you alright?! D-do we need to get him to a hospital?! That thing was moving faster than lightning, I didn’t even see it coming! Anon, are you ok?!” Smolder yelled out as she, Ocellus, and Yona went to check up on you.
You just laid there in the dirt, unmoving. Were you seriously dinged by the most random thing imaginable?! What were the chances?! Why is he even working on whatever magnet bullshit he was talking about?! Oh god, this was so embarrassing. “...That doesn’t count.”
“What? What is he talking about?” Smolder turns to Ocellus, confused. “What does he mean by that?”
“Er, well, I think it means that this highly unfortunate and unforeseeable event doesn’t count towards his luck.” Ocellus replied, still seemingly ignorant about how you felt.
“Yona don’t know about that, but Yona suddenly fine with not training like Anon, Yona feels that yak luck is definitely best luck. Also, Yona likes her head enough not to break it like peanut.” Yona said, with a gulp, worried about the whole situation.
You still continued to lay there, defeated, humiliated. Hell, RD didn’t even notice as her and most of the class continued walking. Goddammit….
You all followed Rainbow Dash towards the Train Station and past the tracks. You noticed there were new signs along a freshly made dirt road that ran across the tracks towards the Colosseum. Of course, these were merely safety signs for crossing, look both ways and all that, probably set up for those who might be less safety oriented when crossing train tracks.
However, it was when you all finally reached the Colosseum itself that things really got interesting. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” screamed Rainbow Dash, as if someone was stabbing her in the heart, as she gazed upon the renovated Colosseum. Indeed, it was a stadium now, the ‘Friendship Stadium’ as it said in marble, engraved onto the front of the entrance in huge letters. The stadium’s renovation was quite a sight to see. Aside from the name, it had a huge emblem set at the front bearing the six elements, with the walls engraved with a single large element all along it and banners representing the school as far as the eye can see. Four spires were erected along the outer circles of the stadium. You also noticed all the entrances had been blocked off, except for the main one and two new entrances for the ‘home’ and ‘visiting’ teams. Interestingly enough, the former entrances weren’t completely sealed, as they had crawlspaces and holes for some reason; it was odd to see, you wondered what that was all about. However, there was nothing more interesting than RD flying around like crazy, going nuts over what she was seeing.
“So, is this what she wanted to show us? I mean, it’s neat and all, but not enough for me to react like it’s the best thing ever.” Smolder said, just staring at RD’s madness, confused.
“Erm, I don’t think our professor is reacting positively.” Ocellus said with a gulp.
“I think you’re right, Ocellus. Er, but I don’t know why she’s reacting like that. Does anycreature see anything wrong that I don’t?” You ask
“Yona don’t notice anything wrong. It nice stadium, Yona wonders what it looks like from the inside.” Yona said as she slowly approached the entrance but stopped as Rainbow Dash came spiraling downward.
Finally, Rainbow Dash, nearly falling on her belly, landed in front of the class and began barking at all of you. “What happened?! Does anycreature know what happened?! SOMECREATURE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!”
But all of you, even you, stood still and silent, unable to answer Rainbow Dash at any capacity.
“No! Nononononono! Nooooo! None of it is here! Where’s the lightning orb?! The cool blue torches that light up when you walk past?! Where’s my face on the wall?! Where’s the cool little storm machine?! Why?! Gyah!” Rainbow rolls to her back and looks up into the sky with tearful sorrow. “...Everything looks so… uncool.”
“Is she gonna be ok?” Smolder asked “I didn’t know ponies could be hurt by… Er... “ She looks up at the stadium, trying to figure out what even happened. It didn’t look like anything was amiss. “Letters? Er, maybe, that emblem? I don’t know, I’m weirded out.”
“Ok, ok, hold on. I’ll go check her out.” You say as you approach Rainbow Dash. You look down at her, as she stares up at you with a pained expression. “Rainbow Dash? Are youRSDDFWSSDFS” Suddenly, she hugs onto you tightly as she cries, crushing you as if you were a doll.
“Anon! Why?! What happened?! I waited soooo long! This place was gonna be the coolest thing ever, and it’s not even close! What happened?!” She lifts you up, and begins to shake you heavily. “WHAT HAPPENED?!”
“DSFZSDFSZDFSD” Was all you could say as she shook you. Goddammit, she was so quick with her hooves, everything was a damned blur.
“Rainbow Dash! What are you doing with Anon?!” Yelled the voice of a familiar purple princess.
“Wha?! Huh?!” Rainbow Dash stopped shaking you as she looked to the right. Standing there was Twilight, with Scrappy sniffing around, low to the ground. “Twilight? Uhh, oh!” Rainbow Dash noticed you in her hooves and quickly let you down, gently petting you as you wobbled as she began to stand up. “Uh, nothing! I was, er, just testing him with some shaking. Y’know, like the tests we got up at the academy.”
“Ooook.” Twilight stood there, blinking, confused. Her ear flicks as she looks around, looks at the students, then back at Rainbow Dash. “Anyway, why are you and your students here?”
“Er…” Rainbow Dash froze for a second. Then suddenly she got angry as she stomped up to Twilight and pointed at her. “What are you doing here?! That’s the real question!”
Twilight narrowed an eye at her as she began to deduce what exactly may be going on. “I came here to personally inspect the new school stadium since I told the forepony to tell me when everything was finished. I can only take a guess you decided to shirk your teaching duties to come see it for yourself too.”
“No!...Ye...No!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
“Mhmmm…” Twilight said as she raised an eyebrow at her. She then looked to the rest of the class. “Are any of you learning a loyalty lesson right now?” For the most part, the class either shook their head or shrugged in confusion. Twilight nodded, looked to Rainbow Dash, and waited.
“Ok, fine!” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I decided to take the class along to see the NOT COOL stadium. Do you see this, Twilight?! What doofus approved this?! This has nothing that I suggested for the stadium, nothing!”
Twilight’s eye twitched at that “Rainbow Dash! I was the one who approved it!”
Rainbow Dash immediately gulped, almost looking apologetic, until she looked over at the stadium again and then pointed to it, her tone softening some. “Ok, I half take back that, because look at that, Twilight! What happened to all of my cool suggestions!”
Twilight brought her hoof to the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes in frustration. “Rainbow, when I said ‘Everypony make their suggestions and I’ll clear it with Mister Rich’, I meant everypony submits one for me to give to him. You literally gave me a stack of suggestions that nearly crushed Spike! I took one, and I gave it to him, that’s it.”
“Only one?! What suggestion did you take of mine then?! I don’t see a single one out here!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
“The cushioned benches and chairs for the teams and crowd. It was the least ridiculous and costly of all of your suggestions. Just like for Fluttershy, we made the extra entrances into places animals can hide if they get caught up within a crowd. Pinkie got the spires so fireworks can be launched from them. Rarity was the one who suggested the emblems and inner design. Applejack suggested we keep a section of the lake inside the stadium and convert it into a swimming pool. And then there is me, I suggested the name and left everything else to Mr. Rich. So, with that out of the way, I want you to head back to the school with your class and make what you did a lesson on loyalty. As in, how you wronged your students over something as selfish as using precious education time to bring them here. I did have a whole ‘Grand Opening’ thing planned, you know that, right? You could have brought them then, during off time.”
Rainbow Dash raised her hoof to complain again, but dropped it when she realized she did screw up, and if everyone got one suggestion in, then that means everything was fair. She looked back at her class, then you, then cringed. “...Er, yeah… Look, Twilight. I’m sorry. I really am and…” And as Rainbow Dash began to apologize to Twilight. Smolder, Yona, and Ocelus decided to check up on you.
“Anon, are you alright?” Ocelus asked.
“Ugh, yeah. L-looks like I was right, it was about the stadium. Geez, I feel like a soda right now.” You said as you gave your head a rub.
“Yeah…” Smolder said as she looked up at the stadium, then at Twilight. “Looks like we weren’t even supposed to be here yet. Doesn’t surprise me though, the professor has been having a hard time teaching us loyalty since the first day. I don’t want to be ‘that creature’, but it looks like she didn’t even have her lessons planned out for us this whole time. That’s probably why the headmare is so peeved.”
“That’s because loyalty is important. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!” Cried out Scrappy, who was suddenly in between all of you, yelling loud enough to startle all of you.
“C-captain?!” Ocellus shouted in surprise, startled by his sudden presence.
“Yes! I am the captain and I am Scrappy!” He shouted as he began to pace militaristically. “And I am the most loyalestistic! But you, Ocellus, have not been the most loyalestistic! YOU BETRAYED OUR QUEEEEEEEEEEEN!” He barked, randomly, all of a sudden.
Ocellus sighed. Seems she was somewhat used to Scrappy, knowing how he’s always been. “Cap-er, Scrappy. We all reformed and she abandoned us to continue her evil, you know that.”
“Yes! Er, sort of. We did, but…” Scrappy didn’t know what to say to that, he just turned away and muttered to himself. “But I still love the queen, just… I also love Master Applebloom and my friends too.”
“Scrappy, relax. We’re all friends here, ok? You don’t have to go acting like that.” You say, trying to calm him down.
“S-sorry, I’m just really jittery. It’s been awhile since I got to be by the master’s side. Or any of my friends, really. I just want to go home, but I’m stuck being an assistant to her.” Scrappy points to Twilight. “I always feel sick whenever she goes crazy. And she’s always going crazy…”
“Yona not understand. Yona thought Spike was her assistant?” Yona asked, which sparked worry in you and Ocellus.
But Scrappy being Scrappy, and knowing that he had to keep it a secret, simply states as he slumps to the ground. “He’s her princess and main assistant. I’m her secondary assistant. I hate being an assistant… It’s so keepy awayee from the master, and there's no challenge to it. But it’s also important.” Scrappy says with a sigh as he lazily salutes. “So I always do my best to do a good job.”
Ocellus frowned, feeling awful for Scrappy, and turned into a puppy herself and laid down next to him. “Well, I think you’re doing a great job being an assistant. I bet the master would be proud.”
Scrappy just looked over to Ocellus, and groaned. “But you haven’t even seen me do my job, you don’t know if I’ve been doing good or not. Why lie?”
“Sheesh, she was just complimenting you. Why do you have to be such a downer?” Smolder scolded as she saw Ocellus’s ears slump.
“I’m not a downer!” Scrappy said as he stood up and stared at Smolder with an aggressive look. “I’m just…” Suddenly Scrappy paused as he began to sniff the air.
“Just what?” Smolder asked, tapping her foot with impatience.
“Smelling… Something.” Scrappy said, as if he was in a trance, as he began to look towards the entrance to the stadium. He looked over at Twilight and Rainbow Dash, who were still talking, and suddenly began to make his way inside.
Wait, why did he… OH SHIT! GYAH!
“Uhhhh, what just happened?” Smolder asked as she looked around in confusion.
“Yona don’t get it either, Yona think Scrappy is very odd.” Yona said. “Where is he going?”
Fuck, FUCK! “I-I think he’s just going after an animal or something. Look, you guys chill here and I’ll make sure he’s ok. He’s, er, well you saw he can be kinda touchy, so I’ll deal with it, o-ok?”
Ocellus stared at you, confused. If it's what you thought it was, then it seems Scrappy was a lot more in tune with Chrysalis than she was, because she didn't seem to get it at all. “Anon, are you ok?” But she could at least tell you were suddenly distressed.
“Just still feeling sick from being shook, I’ll be ok. Look, I’ll be right back. Er, Smolder, if anycreature asks where I went, just er, tell them…” You looked around. What could she tell them? It wouldn’t be just you they’d wonder about. Buuuut, you did have one ace up your sleeve. “Tell them I went back home with Scrappy to talk to him, since he’s upset and all.”
“But he went inside the stadium.” Smolder said as she pointed towards it.
“Y-yeah, but you know, I just may need a little extra time with him. So please? I’ll take responsibility for whatever happens.” You plead.
“I guess. Just don’t be gone too long, ok? Headmare Twilight already seems a little touchy herself.” Smolder said with a chuckle. “I wonder if a professor can get detention.”
You wanted to laugh at that. But fuck, you didn’t have the time. You thank her, say goodbye to your friends, and bolt towards Scrappy inside the stadium.
You followed Scrappy into the stadium halls. It smelled fresh and new, with the walls painted as a mural of various acts of kindness, generosity, bla bla. It was all depicted with just pictures of ponies. And… Goddammit, Twilight, this was all a little on the nose. Aside from that, there seemed to be empty stalls inside the halls, hollowed out through the walls, probably to be ran as a store to sell, or most likely give away for free, friendship memorabilia and food during events for the passing spectators.
As for Scrappy, he seemed lost in a trance as he turned the corner. He was so focused on the scent that he failed to notice you were following him, albeit you were trailing behind him, silent, just wanting to see if what he was going for was what you thought he was going for. Maybe, it could be just the new smell of the stadium that allured him, what possible reason would Chrysalis have to be in here of all places?
But then Scrappy arrived at a door marked ‘Visitor team room one’ and slipped inside. As he did so, you zoomed up right next to it and hugged the wall, raising your ear high to hear for anything suspicious.
“MYYYYY QUEEEEEEN!” You hear Scrappy suddenly scream in such an ecstatic manner. Your eyes go wide. Oh christ, she was here, why?! Was she going to try to kill Twilight already?!
“Ah, Captain, I was exp-Can you not do the whole ‘dog’ thing? It just reminds me that you like to be the po-No, never mind, change back to the dog. That form just makes me angry and disgusted.” Chrysalis groaned. Scrappy probably changed back to his normal form for her, or his new ‘normal’ form anyway, something that obviously triggered Chrysalis something fierce.
“My Queen! I’m so happy to see you, I really am! There’s been something I’ve really really REALLY REALLY wanted to report to you.” Scrappy said in excitement. Though, you were finding this a little odd. Chrysalis wasn’t yelling at him, or grilling him for betraying her. At least, not yet.
“You… Have? Hmmm. Is it the destruction of that putrid princess, Twilight Sparkle?” Chrysalis asked.
“Yes! I have destroyed her thoroughly!” Scrappy replied. Wait, was… Was Scrappy working for Chrysalis all along?! All this time?!
“W-what? I can’t even tell if you’re lying to me. Are you serious?” Chrysalis asked, confused.
“Yes, I’m as serious as a worm burrowing through an apple core. I have destroyed Princess Twilight Sparkle… At chess! Yes, I have brought glory to you by humiliating her at every turn while also bringing honor to my family. NEVER AGAIN WILL THE APPLES EVEN BE SEEN AS ‘SIMPLE’ AS LONG AS I CAN PROVE THAT I, APPLE FAMILY MEMBER SCRAPPY, CAN CRUSH THAT ANNOYING PRINCESS AT CHESS! MWHAHAHAHAHA!” Scrappy cackled evilly.
Oh, ok, haha… That’s what he meant. Chrysalis herself was silent for a long moment before finally saying. “Alright then, I suppose… That is something. Captain, I have a question for you, it’s partially the reason I’m here. I’ve become rather curious about something I was told. That something being…” Chrysalis took a noticeably long and aggravated sigh before saying. “Do you still care about me? As your queen?”
“I do! I do! I dooooo!” Scrappy said. You could hear him hopping about in pure happiness. “And I will never ever stop! Never ever!”
“Hm, interesting. Then would you like to aid me in the destruction of Princess Twilight Sparkle? It would make me very proud of you. More than proud. You’d have a seat by my side when I am ruling over Equestria, how does that sound?”
“I can’t, I was told you were trying to destroy her. That means, if you try, I’d have to shred you to itty bitty pieces!” Scrappy said, in an ignorantly informative way before saying adorably. “Can I have headpats now?”
You braced yourself for this. You hoped that Chrysalis wouldn’t try to hurt him, you knew what would happen. But hurting him through words? She was more than capable of that.
“I figured. Your loyalties to your new friends, while sickening, is at least as true as the loyalty you have towards me. That being said, I can trust that you won’t say a word to anypony about our meeting? Since I’m not here to enact my plans yet.” Chrysalis asked.
“I can do that. As long as you’re not here to crush Princess Twilight, then it’s not part of me defending or alerting her. I was told you were going to try to destroy her, and to alert everypony if you were around. Since you are around but not here to destroy her, then it is ok!” Scrappy said proudly, probably saluting as he did so.
Chrysalis let out a light chuckle. “How good. And what of the rest of the hive? I assume they share your feelings, deep down inside? I can’t imagine the sorrow and pain they feel from being away from me for so long. It makes me feel sorry for them.”
“Actually, the rest of the hive hates you and some even want to see you gone. Like, gone gone.” Scrappy replied.
“SO IT’S TRUE! THOSE MISERABLE, UNGRATEFUL, DISGUSTING LITTLE CRETINS! I SWEAR, AFTER I DESTROY TWILIGHT SPARKLE, THEY’LL BE... What are you doing?” Chrysalis’s anger left as soon as it came. She was suddenly confused.
“Also shaking my hoof in anger and disgust.” Scrappy replied. “Also, Anon is hiding by the door.”
Your eyes suddenly go wide as your body shivers. That little shit, he ratted you out!
“Oh, I know, he has such a unique taste, you can never not know when Anon is around.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle. “You can come in, Anon, you know I enjoy your company.”
OOOOooook, here we go. You look over through the door, and slowly step inside. Was she really here to see Scrappy? She had no plan to kill Twilight? Well, not yet anyway, but it seems odd for her to be here for THAT reason. Unless, maybe when you visited her with Diamond, and she saw she cared about her, and knew that Scrappy did. Yeah, maybe she was here to see it for herself. “Chrysalis, hey. Uh, wasn’t expecting to see you, er, here. What’s up?”
Chrysalis was laying, belly first, on the comforted bench. The shackles on her legs matching yours, locking her to her curse. She looked to you with a smile, she was wearing a black and green jersey that said ‘Chrysalis 01’. She was even wearing a backwards cap. She was obviously just matching to the theme, or moreso, did it just to see if you’d react in any aroused manner to enhance your ‘love’ for her. “Not much, still planning my evil plan, cursing the existence of ponies, laughing at your proposal of reformation, and visiting my little captain. Really Anon…” Chrysalis said as she rolled onto her back, and looked to you with an adorable look, raising her legs. “Even I’m capable of making a friendly visit every once and awhile.”
Before you can say or even do anything, Scrappy growls at you and says “Stop looking at her that way. Our Queen is beautiful, and not to be seen as meat. Unless she’s doing it to drain your love. If she is doing that, THEN YOU MUST FOOLISHLY DOTE OVER HER LIKE THE FOOLISH FOOL YOU ARE!” Scrappy barked. Christ, he was like his former self when Chrysalis was around.
“Relax, Captain. Remember, Anon is our friend, he is free to love and lust over me as he pleases. He knows why.” Chrysalis said as she winked at you.
“Ugh, c’mon, Chrysalis, this is serious! Even if you’re not here to destroy Twilight, everycreature is right outside! Including another changeling! If you get found out, and they think we let you go, there will be big trouble. I mean, I can still visit you in the Everfree, y’know?” You tell her, worried about the situation at hand.
“Bah, you make my new home sound like a prison. Which, by the way, is another reason why I’m here.” Chrysalis said as she took out a large scroll and tossed it towards you with her magic.
“What in the… What is this?” You ask as you look down at the scroll.
“A list of things I need for my current home. Just the little things to keep a girl like me happy. Dark dreary walls, a throne, a full on hot spring bath ensemble, a basement cave, better entertainment center, some books equivalent to the darkness of human films, and other such things. If I’m going to be stuck in the Everfree, then I want a first class home to plot my evil plots in. Chop, chop, Anon. The faster you give me these things, the faster I can go.” Chrysalis said as she gave you a lazy little smirk.
“What? Ok, one, you don’t need all these things. Especially a…” You begin to look through the scroll until something catches your eye. “A gun?! Chrysalis, what the fuck?! Why do you need a gun?!”
“An automatic one, actually. And if not that, at least a pistol, I should be able to do something with that when I confront Twilight.” Chrysalis said as she began to look around the room. “This bench is wasted on such disgusting decor.” She said, noting the sunshine ceiling and friendly looking lockers and purple carpet.
“No! Double no! I’m not going to give you a weapon to kill Twilight with!” You yell at her. The fuck was she thi- Well, never mind, it was obvious.
“Does using a starship to crash into the Princess count?” Scrappy asked.
“Yes, it counts! So no! Dammit Scrappy, whose side are you on!” You yell
“Er… Hers?” Scrappy points to Chrysalis. “But also the master! That is why the Queen would be doing the crashing while I grab the starship and throw it towards a pony city that nopony cares about! Saving the Princess from the Queen while also destroying ponies nopony cares about for the Queen! Everypony wins!”
...Christ, Scrappy was insane. He is fucking insane. Chrysalis’s influence on him was so insane he didn’t realize he’d be turned to pulp the moment the starship even touched him.
“Well…” Chrysalis sighed. “Good to know he has his priorities somewhat straight. Anyway, what is your second pathetic reason, Anon? Surely you can give me the rest of what I want.”
“No, because I also don’t have any charges left. And third, you don’t need all these things! And even if you did, as your friend, I have to say no anyway until you’re willing to see things my way. It’s called tough love.” You say to assert your dominance.
“Tastes like lust to me. And… Wait, you used your two charges again?! So soon?! Didn’t we have this discussion?! Ugh, if it wasn’t for these things.” Chrysalis says as she clanks her shackles together. “I’d destroy you myself and save you the pain of whatever else would happen to you.”
“You wouldn’t, you love me too much to destroy me.” You say as you toss the scroll back towards her. “It… Is nice to see you though. Especially like this. I honestly thought you were here to cause problems. Still, it’s risky, you know? Why would you come here knowing what would happen?”
“Hmph,I don’t care, every moment can be my last anyway.” Chrysalis says as she looks over to her shackles once more. She then looks to Scrappy, and actually extends her hoof to pet him, something Scrappy happily accepts as affection. “Perhaps I felt my captain deserved to see his queen for possibly the last time. Perhaps I wanted to see what I could get away with, see how close I can get before I was noticed by him. Could be both.” Chrysalis said with a shrug. “No matter the reason, just know that eventually, I will have my victory.”
Suddenly, Scrappy began to cry as he hugged onto her leg. “And I w-want you to win! But I also have to destroy y-y-you if you try. Please don’t make me do that! Please!”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes, but didn’t pull her leg away as she replied. “Egh, Captain, I’m not going to make you do that. Just do your little job and alert Twilight of my presence for when I come to strike. Although…” Chrysalis looked to you with a dark look “I can guarantee I won’t be noticed at all.”
“Nice try, Chrysalis. But Scrappy is pretty synced with your entire existence. He’ll know if you’re close, no matter what you do. I’m telling you, just let yourself lose and reform. You’d be able to enjoy my company, Diamond’s, and Scrappy’s.” You say, trying to convince her.
“Egh, this school is starting to make you sound like Twilight. In fact, I’m willing to forgive that if you call me your queen and say you’ll devote your life to me.” Chrysalis tells you, although in a nonchalant fashion.
“Again? Look, how about tomorrow I swing by and give you few things on the list so yoTRGFDSFG” Suddenly, Chrysalis… S-she changes into… A human?! A human version of herself, with fair skin, emerald eyes, long flowing green hair, wearing a cheerleader outfit. She even still had the shackles, which kinda added a sexy kidnapped kinda kink to it. She picks you up in her hands and begins to hold you like a baby, holding you close to her plump breasts as she gently gives your ears a scratch.
“What was that, Anon?” Chrysalis said with a sexy snicker.
“My queen, I-I devote myself to you… C-can I see up your skirt?” You ask, in a damned trance from the head scratching and being neEWAFSDF
Chrysalis just drops you with a groan, headfirst. “No, I’m not some hussie fishing for compliments in trade for a peek. But you did say you’d swing by tomorrow, so you better live up to that promise. And yes, I consider it a promise. And, you…” Chrysalis leans over and scratches along Scrappy’s ear. But unlike you, Scrappy cannot be tempted sexually, he only saw Chrysalis as a mother. “I want to know. Once I achieve victory, you’ll stand by my side, won’t you?”
Scrappy almost answered yes, he really did. But suddenly, his ears folded as he looked down in shame. He couldn’t say it, nor could he say anything really. As much as he loved Chrysalis, he loved Applebloom and his friends just as much, perhaps a little more so. He began to whimper as he became more and more afraid to answer.
“I see. Well, eventually you’ll have to choose between me or them, Captain. But for now, I’ll let you indulge in your little delusion.” Chrysalis said as she continued to pet Scrappy.
“B-but it’s not a delusion.” Scrappy whispered with a whimper. He couldn’t outright say it to her, nor would he let himself ever believe his love for his family was anything less than pure.
“Of course it isn’t.” Chrysalis said sarcastically as she transformed back to her original self. She stepped towards the door. “Well, I have gathered everything I need here. And… Hm?” Suddenly, Scrappy darts towards her and grabs onto her leg as he begins to sob.
“Please! Please! Don’t go! I miss you! Pleeeeeeease!” Scrappy cried, whimpering. “Please, it doesn’t hurt to reform. You feel nice all the time! You’re never hungry! Please!”
Chrysalis just stared as she very gently shook her leg. “You know I won’t do that. And if you don’t let me go now, your new friends will find me. And that could mean my end, you don’t want that, do you, Captain?”
Scrappy slowly let go, letting himself lay on his belly as he sobbed, looking back up at her with heartbroken eyes. “N-no…”
“Then I must go. Anon… Anon! Snap out of it! I swear, you’re lucky a seductress, aside from me, hasn’t tried to take over Equestria yet! You’d somehow doom everypony, even me! I swear, once this is all over, I’m going to slap you.”
“G-geez, ngh.” God, that was a heavy one. Those fingers, just, so so- Oh wait. “C-christ, I’m not that easy. I was just… Y’know, surprised. Been awhile since I saw another human in the flesh, even if it was a changeling queen. Although…” You move up to Chrysalis and start to rub up on her. “You can’t do anything to stop my advances now, can you? Scrappy! Hug time!” You call out as you jump onto Chrysalis and begin to snuggle hug her, expecting Scrappy to join in.
Chrysalis nearly threw you to the wall. Her eyes were blistering red, but right before she used her magic to grab you, she stopped, sat down, and grumbled as you hugged her. She was now silently contemplating if destroying you was worth her own demise.
But the hugging would be short lived as Scrappy grabs onto your tail with his teeth and bites down hard, making you nearly jump the ceiling and fall on your face. However, Scrappy was never one to let go, and continued to chomp down on it. “She said she had to go, Anon! If she gets destroyed, I’m going to destroy you! And if that makes Master Applebloom sad, then I have to destroy myself! And that will make her more sad! Which will make me destroy you even more!”
“GYAH! GEEZ! OK OK!” You yelp in pain as you rip your tail away from his mouth. Christ, he fucked up the end of it, there was a little nub where your tail hair was. “Fuck! Look what you did to my tail!”
“Yes, Captain, look what you did.” Chrysalis said in a mocking tone before going up to pet him one more time. “Good job, Anon really does need to learn to pay more attention, doesn’t he?” She tells him as he looks back up to her with a nod.
“Fuck, whatever. Christ…” You say, frustrated as you try to cover up the end of your tail by brushing the hair back.
“Oh, don’t be a prude, Anon. He had a point. In any case…” Chrysalis gives Scrappy one more pat before turning around once more. “I must be going. But before I do, I do have a warning to give you, Anon.”
“What, watch out for more bites? Sheesh, look at this, It looks like a damned worm.” You say as you continue to brush at your tail.
“Anon, shut the hell up, whiny brat.” Chrysalis said with a groan, rolling her eyes. “My warning is that something has stirred the Everfree.”
Stirred the Everfree? “What, as in the forest? What? What happened?”
“I’m not sure, it could be nothing. But if it is something, say, another worthless being coming out from some thousand year slumber, I’ll need it immediately dealt with. I refuse to share Equestria with anypony, and I especially refuse to deal with it myself. You have a horn of absolute power, use it.”
That… Didn’t sound like something she’d lie about. What could it be? A season beginner or ender villain? Hm, if it was, you were sure you could obliterate it now. But you also knew Chrysalis had grown a bit insane since she left Discord’s. Could be a delusion of her own. You’ll just have to keep an eye out, just in case. If anything, Discord would probably be on top of it if it was urgent. “I see, well, whatever it is. I’ll destroy it as soon as I see it. Trust me, I’ve been raring to go on a big time incident. I want to show Twilight and the others I can do it on my own.” Yeah, especially since the whole Storm King thing didn’t necessarily go as well as most people think. There was the reforming of Starlight, but that was more luck than anything else.
“Whatever, just make sure it’s dealt with. And… Goodbye to you both. I already sense somepony is near, so…” And with that Chrysalis turned into a rat and scurried off. You could already hear Twilight and Rainbow calling for the both of you. Hm, welp, back to school.
You were sitting at the courtyard, while your friends ate lunch, conversing. Gallus was in front of you, preparing himself to tell a joke. He and Sandbar had Pinkie’s class with you after lunch, and apparently they had homework. Nothing too big it seemed, it was simply to tell a good joke. You weren’t really paying attention though, not after what happened at the stadium.
When Twilight and Rainbow found you and Scrappy from within the walls of the stadium, Scrappy was already quick to lie, mentioning that he had wandered inside following a squirrel, as dogs apparently do that. You went along with it, and Twilight thought it was funny, but asked him to take things more seriously. Rainbow’s class didn’t last much longer after that, as Twilight allowed everyone inside the Stadium anyway for a sneak peek. It was nice, it had a track, hurdles, a buckball field, a pool, all the essentials a stadium needed, especially one that big.
But that disturbance Chrysalis was talking about. Was it a season starter thing? A season ender? Or maybe it was nothing. Hmm.
“...Hey, Anon, are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been acting weird after following that changeling into the stadium.” Smolder noted as she gave you a gentle shake.
“Huh? Yeah, yeah…” You shake your head to regain your senses, and look to the worried faces of everyone with a tired but reassuring smile. “Sorry, guys, I’m more just overwhelmed due to this being my first day and all.”
“Seriously?” Gallus asked, skeptical. “I would have thought this would have been easy compared to your ‘hero work’.”
“Well, actually, I can understand how Anon feels. He usually doesn’t do too well in places that are overwhelmingly nice.” Ocellus says to everyone, to inform them.
“Yona find Anon so confusing, why would nice place overwhelm Anon?” Yona asked.
“Anon is more used to, well, not so nice stuff. B-but I’m sure despite all that, Anon surely has a good opinion about us and the school, right, Anon?” Ocellus asked as she looked at you. Hm, seems she was reading your emotions wrong this time, thinking you were just being overwhelmed with the goodness of the school.
“Really?” Sandbar himself was also rather confused. “He seemed fine before. Well, if that’s really what it is…” Sandbar leans against you and hugs you close. “Don’t even worry about it, Anon. If that’s what’s going on, you’re gonna love Gallus’s joke. We worked on it all night.”
“Ooooh, golly, I’m so interested in hearing it. Especially since griffon jokes are soooooo rare!” Cozy said, hovering up adorably as she looked to Gallus, waiting for it.
“Sandbar is right, Anon. I bet it'll be the funniest and most cheering up thing ever! Ooh! But then you’ll tell us one of your awesome stories, right?” Silverstream was practically hopping as she said all this, hoping to hear a yes out of you.
Man, the way she was staring at you, how could you even think of breaking her heart? “Yeah, sure, if everycreature is willing to listen.” Man, you really wished you could talk about the Storm Ravager and how you trounced him. But that was a secret to everyone, in which only you, Discord, and Fluttershy knew. Aside from Tempest and such.
“I kind of want to hear about how you and the counselor became friends. She kinda sperged on me yesterday and may have mentioned you reformed her or something. Like, reform reform? I didn’t take our counselor as evil or anything like that.” Smolder said as she rubbed the back of her head. “I mean, even by dragon standards, it doesn’t seem right. When a dragon is bad, yeah, you’ll know it, and so will everycreature else when they smell the burning...Erm, everything.”
“Oh, even I know that’s true. It was mentioned in the newspapers a couple times, about her and the town she used to rule over.” Sandbar said.
“Wow! I didn’t even know ponies could be evil! And counselor Starlight? Really? She’s so nice though, and a great listener! Are you sure that happened?” Silverstream asked, a little skeptical given her current view on Starlight.
“No, they're right. Counselor Starlight wasn’t that bad though, she was just, well, misguided.” Man, just the way they looked at you right now. It really was like it was when you first got here. Everyone loved you, everyone was amazed by you.
“Gee, I can’t even imagine Counselor Starlight as a bad pony. “ Cozy said, feeling down, her ears folding as she rubbed at her hooves. “She must have been so lonely, like me. But, it’s kind of weird, why didn’t you become counselor then, Anon? You’re really good at helping everycreature.” Well, we all knew the answer to that. Twilight is a cunt.
Ocellus nearly twisted at those words. She knew why, but said nothing.
“Yeah! I bet all the advice you’d ever have to give would have been the best!” Silverstream remarked, again, Ocellus twisting where she sat.
“Yo…” Gallus said, as he stood there, annoyed. “Don’t want to interrupt the praise game everycreature is doing right now. But I know some of you haven’t heard this joke yet and I want to make sure you all find it funny. Not like I care or anything, but it’s for the grade and… Yeah, me and Sandbar worked on it all night… So, y’know.” He did seem pretty upset that you were getting all the attention when he wanted to make sure his joke worked out. But all night for a joke? Cripes, was it even good? Either way, everyone apologizes and gives Gallus the floor.
He clears his throat, gets a little nervous at first, realizing he had a crowd of seven. But he already knew Sandbar laughed, and he himself loved the joke, so… “Ok, ok, here I go. Soooo, why did the griffon cross the road?”
Wut? A ‘Crossing the road’ joke? Cripes, sad.
“Yona want to know why! Why did griffon cross road?” She asked in excitement.
Gallus puts on a sly look as he extends his talons towards her like an open palm. “I’ll tell ya for twenty bits.”
Everyone but Yona, Ocellus, and you start laughing. Yona was just sitting there, confused. Ocellus looked irked. And to you? Yeah, you get it, buuuuut… Eh.
“What? But Yona don’t have twenty bits, why are you charging Yona for a joke?” Yona asked, confused.
“Er, I… Kinda wasn’t. It’s the joke, because, y’know, griffons are cheap.” Gallus explained as he rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. “Well, four out of seven is ok I guess. Ocellus, you didn’t think it was funny?”
“Erm, not really. It seemed self depreciating to me.” Ocellus explained.
“That’s the point. I wanted a joke that was kind of true about griffons. I just wanted to point out how cheap we were, and Sandbar wondered if the way we make deals could be part of the joke. Well, I thought it BEING the joke would make it really funny. Geez, I really hope that doesn’t affect my grade.” Gallus said as he began to wonder, feeling perhaps now that his joke may have been too much.
“Well, I thought it was really funny.” Smolder said. “Better than my joke. I made a fire pun and nocreature laughed! Ugh, I didn’t even know making jokes would be so tough.”
“Tch, well, I wanted at least more than half laughing. Anon, you didn’t find it funny? I thought you’d appreciate that kinda joke, considering chaos and all that.” Gallus said to you, wondering how he couldn’t make you laugh.
“Er, well, it was pretty good. I just, I dunno, it just didn’t hit the funny bone just right.” Oof, being put on the spot like that. It made you feel pretty bad about not laughing.
Gallus narrowed his eyes at you. Not understanding the joke or having qualms with the morality of it he can somewhat understand. But in his heart, he knew it was funny. “Yeah? Well, why don’t you tell a joke then? I want to hear what you find funny.”
“OH! SO DO I!” Silverstream giggled out. “I didn’t even get what Gallus’s joke meant either. But the way he told it was really funny! I know even if I don’t get Anon’s joke, It’ll be really funny too!”
“Ye-WHAT?!” Gallus looked over to Silverstream, dumbstruck. “You didn’t get it too, really?! Then why did you laugh?”
Silverstream shrugged. “Dunno, like I said, the way you told it was really funny. I didn’t know griffons were cheap. I didn’t even know what griffons were until I met you.” Silverstream then giggled a little as she brought her claws to her mouth. “Hehe, bits. It sounds like butts”
Gallus just leaned back as he brought his talons to his forehead, flabbergasted. “Oh boy, I don’t even know anymore.”
“Well, erm, we can still hear Anon’s joke, right? I’m so so so curious to hear what kind of jokes he likes. I bet they are realllllyyy funny!” Cozy added, laying on her tummy as she rested her chin on her hooves. “C’mon, Anon, pleeeease?”
Heh, so they want a really good joke? You didn’t really have any available, but you could take some inspiration from your human days to cobble one together. Hell, why not just use an antique, not like they ever heard it. “Ok, ok, alright. I’ll do it. So, how about this? There is this one adventurer pony who explores far and wide looking for the next big thrill. He’s a risk taker, he likes things dangerous, mysterious, actiony, with risk and peril. If it’s deadly, then he will defy death itself. Well, one day, he went to Manehatten for some rest and relaxation. During his stay, he ran into a pony who was speaking of something big and grand to a crowd, a possible new and dangerous adventure for him to try. The pony was up on a pedestal, and he said ‘Come one, come all. What I offer you is the biggest adventure of your lives! It’ll be dangerous, it will test your mettle, it will steel your nerves, or it just may drive you insane. What I offer you is a once in a lifetime opportunity to go through what may very well be the most harrowing trial in your existence. So, do we have any takers?’. Of course, hearing all this, the adventurer pony couldn’t resist and made himself known. The showpony immediately acknowledged him and said ‘Great! Here’s my wife, take her’. Haaa! Pretty good zinger, right?”
Gallus tried to hold it in, but he laughed, and Smolder laughed too, and that was it. What made this bad was not only was Ocellus looking at you as if you spit on god, but so was Yona. Sandbar just gasped in horror, and Cozy was just waiting there, as if maybe there was more to the joke. Even Silverstream was stunned.
“Yona not understand why others laugh. That not joke, that insult to ultimate yak-like unity.” Yona said as she looked at you with disappointment.
“Erm…” Silverstream gulped. “Yeah, I… Well, it was different.” Silverstream made a real nervous giggle as she shrugged. She was clearly uncomfortable with the joke, but didn’t want to insult you.
“I agree with Yona. Anon, that was very dark. That’s something I’d expect from an unreformed changeling.” Ocellus said, as if lecturing and scolding you at the same time. “I hope you don’t really think that’s a good joke.”
“Oh? I thought there was more to it. There isn’t?” Cozy asked, confused.
“Yeah, but that’s what made it so funny! Like, woah! You'd think a dragon would come up with that kind of joke.” Smolder applauded. “You guys don’t have to be so stiff, that was good stuff.”
“Yeah, wow, and I thought my joke was mean. Besides, Anon probably doesn’t think like that. Guy has a marefriend, right?” Gallus said, really impressed with your joke.
“Yeah, but… That was still, I dunno how to feel about it actually. It’s kinda funny, but it really is insulting to, like, everycreature who loves somecreature else.” Sandbar said, feeling uncomfortable with the situation.
Cripes, that’s the line?! A wife joke?! Maybe you could have told it better, shorten it. But damn, the fact these guys never heard it should have meant laughs all around. Instead you’re dealing with a bunch of goodie goodies. “Ah, c’mon. It’s a joke, right? Gallus is right, I don’t think like that, it’s just a joke. C’mon, lighten up. I bet Professor Pinkie would have found it hilarious. In fact, I have her class next, I could try telling the joke and see what happens.”
“Mmmmmmm, maybe you shouldn’t.” Silverstream said as she tapped her claws together nervously. “I don’t think anycreature should think less of you.”
“Aww, c’mon, I think everything will be fine.” Cozy said as she hovered up to the ledge of the fountain and turned to everyone. “Golly, you’re all overreacting, I think. Anon is right, it’s just a joke, you’re not meant to take it personally. In fact, sometimes you just need that teeny tiny ‘umf’ to get that laugh. My joke for Professor Pinkie’s was really lame and nocreature even giggled. I bet, if I had the ‘umf’ Anon and Gallus have for my joke, everycreature would have really really laughed lots! We’re all supposed to be friends! We’re supposed to support each other! If you really think Anon is being serious with that joke, then you just don’t understand that jokes can come from anywhere and be about anything, even if it’s poking fun at something.”
“Y’know, Cozy is right, you guys are being real sticks in the lava. It’s not like he said any names or anything like that, it’s just a really funny and surprising joke. Edgy jokes are still jokes, and if you take offense to them, then you don’t get the point at all.” Smolder added, looking to the rest of the group with a stern look as she crossed her arms.
“Yeah, it’s just like my joke. Sure, it’s on the nose, but that’s what makes it so good. Right, Sandbar?” Gallus said as he looked over to him.
“Well, yeah… I did find it really funny. Um, yeah, guys, I think they got a point.” Sandbar said as he came around to their side.
"I’ve been a seapony for so long that I didn’t realize that’s how jokes work. Alright! I’m ok with it!” Silverstream added as she saw their side of things.
“Yona didn’t think of it that way. Yona still think joke is insulting, but Yona also don’t want to be stick in lava, in case Yona also somehow come up with joke that come out same way.” And that’s Yona, leaving only Ocellus.
“C’mon, Ocellus. You know, just like I do, that you have heard a lot worse.” Like seriously, she saw the movies, she was around you and Chrysalis enough.
Ocellus hesitated, but she was clearly outnumbered at this point. She didn’t give in, but it was obvious she was in the wrong. “Well, I still don’t think the joke is funny at all. But I can respect your right to tell it. I’m just saying you should be careful who you tell it to. You never know if it might insult them.”
Bah, what a prude. Have all the changelings become that much of a pussy? Whatever, Scrappy probably would have died laughing from that joke. “Bah, I personally think that if it’s a joke, then you shouldn’t get so wound up over it. Besid-Huh?” And there was the bell, lunch was over, much to Silverstream’s chagrin.
“WHAT?! NO! AGH!” Silverstream yelled out as she hovered upwards. “Class can’t start now! I wanted to hear Anon’s hero stories! Awwww!” Silverstream grew depressed as she let her body go limp in mid air. “Now I’m sad…”
Aww, poor girl, she really wanted to hear your stories and you didn’t even get the chance to tell her one of them. “H-hey, Silverstream, no worries, ok? How about we meet up after school and I tell you a couple stories. But, er, only a couple, I got stuff I gotta do after school.” Yeah, like finally tell Diamond the whole shackles and Chrysalis’s plan thing.
“Really?!” Silverstream gasped in excitement as she flew down and grabbed onto you, hugging you with snuggly goodness. “I can’t wait! Ohhh, you’re so awesome, Anon! You’re the best!”
Ogggh, there were those feelings again. You almost melted in her grip. But your eyes trailed off towards Ocellus’s direction. She gave you an adorable but vicious look, almost protective in nature. Ugh, she knew what was up. You quickly squirm out of Silverstreams grip and act like you had to rush to class. Considering it seemed Gallus and Sandbar were also going to Pinkie’s class, that they would be your classmates this time. You quickly say goodbye to your friends, and head off with them. Laughter class, this should really be piss easy.
There you stood, in Pinkie’s classroom. It was quite different from the classrooms you’ve seen so far. It was bigger, had ovens, baking tools, party stuff, bean bag chairs, all sorts of fun stuff that obviously meant she just wanted her students to relax, have fun, and have a good laugh. Pinkie was addressing the class, pointing over to you, sounding as cheery and excited as she normally was. “Alright everycreature! Today we have a new student, Nonn- Er, Anon! I want you all to give him a super fantabulous laughter class welcome! Now get ready! Steady! And…” Pinkie made a gesture, and everyone, with varying levels of excitement, greeted you.
Oh yeah baby, you’re awesome. You look to the class with a smirk, close your eyes, and do a bow. “Thanks everycreature, and it's great to meet you all t-What is that ho-SDGSDGSD” As you greeted the class, you turned to see a peculiar looking hole in front of you. The next thing you knew, your mane was blown back and filled with confetti as Pinkie jumped around. She had fired her party cannon at you.
“Yay! Now…” Pinkie, before you can even react, dashes behind and bounces up and down as she makes another announcement. “You get to experience a really special treat, Anon! Today, everycreature will be telling really fun jokes! Mhmmm, mhmmm, and just like any good joke, we’re going to laugh, have fun, and enjoy each others time. Yup yup, if there was ever day to be in my class and feel at ease, it’s today! Awesome, huh huh huh?!”
C-christ, s-she was really high energy about this. You plop on your ass and quickly brush over your mane to straighten it out. Still, she was already getting straight to the joke telling as you did so, and that was something you wanted to get into. Perhaps you took Ocellus’s reaction personally, but you wanted to prove that your joke was funny and that most of your friends were being prudes. You took a breath and looked to Pinkie with a cheerful smile. “Yeeeah! Totally awesome. In fact, I actually happen to have a joke I wanted to tell. Gallus and Sandbar let me know the joke telling was some sort of homework, so knowing everycreature was going to tell a joke… Well…“ You shrug with a smirk. “I didn’t want to be left out.”
“Ooooooooooooooh, interesting.” Pinkie said, clearly intrigued. But again you are surprised as she also suddenly grabs you and plops you on her desk. You were stunned as your body shook. Like, holy shit, early on in your time in Equestria you wanted her all over you. Now? Sheesh, even with your young body, she was hard to keep up with. In any case, she looks over to her class and points at you. “Alright everycreature, we’ll be telling our jokes right now! And since Anon is our newest student and has one ready to go, then we’re going to listen to his first! Remember to hang on to your sides, because after all the jokes are told, we may have to tape em’ back together.” Pinkie said with a giggle.
Shit, looks like you were already on. But you couldn’t tell it just yet. First, you had to make sure that Pinkie herself would be ok with the joke. All you had to do was question her on where her limit was, and if it was high enough, then you were good to go. You whisper to Pinkie and beckon her to come closer. “Anon? Is something the matter?” She asks.
“Oh, er, actually, I just wanted to know if the type of joke I was going to tell was ok with you.” You tell her.
“Hm? Well, usually any joke is ok with me. Why? It’s not a bad or nasty joke, is it?” Pinkie asked, becoming a tad worried about you being cautious about your joke.
“Er, not really, relatively speaking. Just, y’know, how do you feel about jokes that poke at concepts and ideas and stuff?” Surely the element of laughter doesn’t mind a little insulting humor, right? It wasn’t like it was really bad or anything. Surely she’s poked fun at her friends with harmless jokes, right?
“Oh, those kinds of jokes? Those are ok.” Pinkie tells you, without a hint of hesitation.
“Really? Even if it sounds, er…” It was hard to come up with the words to describe the type of joke you were going to tell. You didn’t want to outright tell her as you wanted her to laugh when you delivered the punchline. “Hm, ummm, rude, I guess would be the word? A little wrong, maybe?”
“Aww, Anon, there really isn’t anything wrong with that. Pranks kinda fall into that kind of category and those are ok as long as it really isn’t hurting anypony. I’ve made jokes about my friends that were a teeny tiny bit pokey, but it was all in good fun. I even make fun of myself sometimes. Iiiiiin fact, I got a joke about lumberjacks you might like, might help ease the tension.” Pinkie says. Aha, so far so good, seems she would be very accepting of your joke, especially if she herself could come up with a joke about freaking woodcutters.
“What is it?” You ask
Pinkie looks left and right, back at the class, then whispers. “Why do lumberjacks never have any answers?”
Hmmm… “I… Don’t know, why?”
“Because…” Pinkie said as she already found it difficult to contain herself. “They are always the one to axe the questions.” Pinkie said before breaking out in stifled laughter. Huh, that was actually a pretty punny joke. Well then, haha! If she found that funny, then your joke would probably fucking slay her.
“That’s pretty good, Po-er, Professor Pinkie. Gotta keep it professional, right, Professor?” You ask, just wanting to get on her good side just a bit more before you tell your joke.
“Awwww, you’re such a good colt, Anon. No worries, ok? You can still call me Ponk on 'accident' during school hours if you want… Nonny, hehe!” Pinkie said as she gave you a pet. “But alrighty!” She then zooms back towards the class and swings her hoof up, then down. “Take it away, Anon!”
And so you do, you tell that joke. You tell that joke the best you can, putting on more of a comedic tone to your voice as you walk left and right across the desk. “...Here’s my wife, take her!”. As you end the joke, you hop off the desk and slide across the floor as you raise your forelegs high. “Ta da! Pretty funny, right?”
But oh god, no one was laughing. There were gasps of horror, blank stares, Gallus twitching as he held his beak shut as to not laugh, and a very mortified looking Pinkie. Oh, there was also a guy crying because apparently he was having terrible nightmares of his mom and dad splitting. But no, the worse thing was the mortified Pinkie. Like, what the fuck? What happened?!
“Ta… Da?” You say again, hoping they were just delaying their laughs. But nope, Pinkie just silently walked over to you, still wide eyes and horrified, and began to whisper to you.
“Nonny, that wasn’t the joke, right?” She asked.
“N-n” No, fuck that shit. It was the joke, and you were proud of it! “Actually, yeah, it was. Why? Do you have a problem with it? Because not only do I think the joke is great, but it also breaks through social norms and preconceptions of what a joke shSDJGLKDJGSLKDHFGIFHV”. And what happened to you next was nothing short of extraordinary. While yes, you have teleported many times before, this time was different. It was slower, and yet just as fast, filled with color, your face flapping about as you felt wind smash against it. Was it Discord? Did Discord telerwaTGDSGSDFGDFG. “Gyah! I can’t see! I’m drowning! Where am I?!” You yelled out as suddenly things became dark and very very wet.
“S-sorry, Nonny!” Pinkie said as she began to lift what appeared to be a pail from above your head. “But I got scared when you were all twitchy like that. I thought water would help.”
Twitchy? Water? What in th-HOLY FUCK! You were suddenly outside! Outside and a few ways away from the school, as you could see it and the town from the hill you were somehow on. Holy damn, did you have a stroke and a seizure at the same time?! You spit out some more water and wipe your mouth as you look to Pinkie in surprise and worry. “G-geez! W-what happened, Ponk? H-how did we end up here?”
“Oh, I ran up here with you when you started talking crazy. I guess that's why you were twitching like that too. Soooooo crazy. You had me worried, Nonny, you made me and everycreature else think you were serious with that joke and speech. Though, I guess that must mean something must be wrong. Are you ok, Nonny? Do you need help with anything?” Pinkie asked you, as she seemed legitimately worried about you.
Ran? Ran up ‘here’ with you? As in… WHAT IN THE FUCK?! THAT WAS GODDAMNED INSTANTANEOUS! N-no wonder everything just flashed and flew by in an array of color. Pinkie really could move as fast as she apparently could in the show. But how?! This wasn’t the show anymore, it was impossible! No one, not no how, can move that fast. That was faster than Dash, that was faster than even the Flash and… Oh good lord you were thinking like Twilight back in season one, when she had her doubts and tries to stay within realistic reason against Pinkie andaSFDGSDGSDGDFDF.
Once again, Pinkie throws yet another pail of water over you and holy fuck, where was she getting these pails from?! You know what, never the fuck mind, why even bother to figure it out?
She once again states the reason she threw a pail over you was because you were suddenly looking off and crazy again. Hell, she was now suggesting you were possessed. You weren’t, and after spitting up more water and trying to get your mane and coat dry, you look to Pinkie as you shake your hooves at her and say. “I’m not crazy! G-geez, ok? Relax with the water!” Like seriously, you were afraid to see what the next thing she was going to do was. “Why are we even here? I just told a joke! Like, what? Did you have a problem with it?”
“Well, yeah.” Pinkie said, flat out. “Nonny, that joke was really hurtful and wrong. And then you went and tried to defend it! I thought you were going nuts! I had to do something, and I had to make sure my students didn’t hear any more of your crazy talk too!”
Wut? “What are you talking about? How was it hurtful and wrong? Didn’t you say you were fine with those kinds of jokes?”
“I did, and I meant harmless ones. Anon, not only is your joke a direct break of harmony, but it almost sounded like you think everycreature should tell jokes like that. Nonny, nopony wants to hear such a scary and nasty joke. A husband and a wife, or even parents, splitting up? Even as a joke, that kind of idea can spread, become real, ruin families, destroy towns, DESTROY HARMONY, BRING IN DARKNESS AND DESTRUCTION, RUIN THE TASTINESS OF CAKES, CANCELLED PARTIES!” Pinkie was suddenly becoming near deranged and scary as she grabbed you and brought you to eye level. “And then! AND THEN! Well…” Suddenly she calmed down and asked you as she tilted her head. “Well, you know what happens then, right?”
Did you? Darkness and destruction? Destroyed harmony? Ruin families? Oh dammit, she might have some sort of point on this one. Fuck man, you were in Equestria, where peace and harmony is literally required for the world to function. Because, if it doesn’t, then it gets turned into a fucking frozen wasteland. “Windigos?”
Pinkie nodded. “Windigos.”
Ugh, of course. In your world, the joke is fine. In this world, it’s a death sentence. “Mnnn, sorry Ponk. Ya know how it is, stuff from my world is just a little crazier than here in Equestria.”
“Oh, Anon, you’re a sill-” But as Pinkie began to pet you, she suddenly began to shake you crazily as her eyes bugged out. “WHAT?! YOU TELL THOSE KINDS OF JOKES IN YOUR WORLD?! AT YOUR AGE?! DID WINDIGOS DESTROY YOUR WORLD?! IS THAT WHY DISCORD SAVED YOU?!”
FSDDSFSDFDFSD! Crap! You were going to puke, you swear to god you were. “P-Ponk! There’s no magic in my world! R-rememberrwrsfdsdsd”
“Oh…” Pinkie snapped back to normal as she put you down once more and pet your dizzied head. “Well, that’s good, I don’t think any world should become a worldcicle, even if their jokes are icky.”
Ohhh, sheesh, get it together, Anon. Christ, was she always this jumpy? “Y-yeah. Well, I’m glad I’m here in Equestria anyway. It’s a lot nicer, and I feel like I have a real family here. Not to mention a lot of good friends.”
“Awww, Nonny.” Pinkie grabs you and gives you a gentle hug. “You’re so sweet! No wonder Fluttershy is always happy when she-OH MY GOSH! THE CLASS!” Suddenly, Pinkie nearly crushes you as she goes frantic again. “WE’RE WASTING TIME! IF WE DON’T GET BACK TO CLASS AND HEAR THOSE JOKES, WE WON’T HAVE ANY TIME FOR THE LESSON!”
“Ngh, C-calm down, Ponk. We can j-” God, no. GOD NO! You could hear it, and your body could barely take anymore of it. You could hear her body revving up like an engine as her hooves began to spin in place, even peeling out as you found yourself being quickly placed upon her back. And then, in the sickening blur, you both were off. However, right before reaching the doors to the school, Pinkie trips on a stone, causing her to barrel roll and plop right in front of the doors as you flew off her back and slammed face first through the doors, into the courtyard of the school, and right into the fountain.
“Nonny!” Pinkie cried out in worry as she dashed over to the fountain. “Nonny! Are you ok?!”
You slowly rise up out of the water, greener than you ever have been as you found yourself surrounded by browner water. You had launched projectile vomit right before hitting the water, and upon coming out, you were done. Done with school, done with jokes, done with life. God, you felt sick, you never wanted to go that fast ever again. Like, fuck, Pinkie can haul ass when she wants to. Geez, you didn’t even get a chance to enjoy her squishy embrace before going through that sickening series of events. And god fucking dammit! You rather hit your head than keep falling in cold pools of water. Fuck, you really hope this doesn't become a thing.
When Pinkie approached you to check if you were ok, you just stared at her, delirious in your mind, and pointed at her. “Pikachu, I choose you!” You bellow out before falling over, unconscious.
Despite being unconscious, you make one final note. Never upset Pinkie Pie.
Starlight was at her desk, unable to compose herself as she laughed about what transpired between you and Pinkie. She was just having a grand old time finding the whole thing amusing as you sat there, wrapped in a big blanket, still damp from falling into the fountain, and grumbling about the whole thing. Not even the moat around it, but the damn fountain. When Pinkie tripped, her spinning, you could swear, was going to send you back in time. Never mind being launched right into the damn water. And despite this, and the aftermath, Starlight laughed.
“...And then the singing! ‘I want to be the very best, like no one ever was!’” Starlight nearly fell over on that one. “I never even heard you sing before! That was so bad, Anon.”
Your eye twitched as you sunk your head further into the blanket, looking at her with a grumpy stare. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. It wasn’t that funny.”
“Oh come on, Anon, it’s hilarious. You’ve been here long enough to know how Pinkie is, and yet, you just had to go and prove some kind of point anyway. And then the fact she came to me when she thought you were possessed. Pffft, come on, how could I not laugh?” Starlight said, still giggling.
“Geez, Starlight. Look, if you knew how fast she spun, you’d know why I lost my grip there. Discord has spun me pretty damn hard, like a damn top, and it wasn’t even that bad. Also, plus, I could have drowned. Hmph, I thought we were supposed to be equals, and yet you’re just laughing at me as if I was a clown.” D-dammit, it wasn’t that funny.
“Ok, one, considering how hard your head seems to be, you being able to be confused like that is pretty funny to see. Two, again, Pinkie Pie. And three, you were singing some song about catching something called ‘Pokemon’. Anon, you were practically doing a whole silly little dance number. Considering it's you, there was no way I wasn’t going to find it funny. But if you want me to take it seriously...” Starlight stops for a moment, then suddenly cracks a smile as she goofily says. “Maybe we should see if Twilight has a ‘ghost checking’ machine somewhere.” She said before going into another laughing fit.
DAMMIT! You hop out of the blanket and climb onto her desk, looking at her with anger, your face red. “What about me nearly drowning, huh?!”
Starlight stopped for a moment, startled. She then rolled her eyes, grabbed you by the scruff with her magic, and wrapped the blanket around you as she plopped you back on the couch. “Anon, you fell into the fountain and, according to Pinkie Pie, immediately burst back out, into song. I highly doubt you were even close to drowning if you were able to sing like you did.”
“Oh yeah?!” You burst out of the blanket once again and pointed at Starlight. You just pointed, that was it.
Starlight merely stared at you for a moment, then gave you a sly look. “Yeah?”
You were silent for a moment, then began to wrap yourself back in your blanket as you let out a tiny sneeze. “Y-yeah…”
Starlight let out a small triumphant titter as she walked out from behind her desk and came up in front of you to pet you as she made sure you were nice and snug in the blanket. “Yeah. Just relax, Anon, ok? You’re going to catch a cold if you keep that up. By the way, Rarity told me what happened with you and Applejack. She wanted me to make sure you were actually ok. I already know you are, and all I can really tell you is to be careful with that whole ‘innocent colt’ routine. Some of us know who you really are.”
Hmph, even then, Applejack deserved the humiliation. “I know that. But Applejack accused me for no reason. You may think she had a reason, but she really had none. I did everything fair and square and she wanted to be all pissy because of how she got stuck in one of our ‘Ogres and Oubliettes’ sessions.”
“I know she didn’t have a reason, I already knew about the safe before now, so you couldn’t have cheated if what you said about your other charge was true. And if you were going to cheat, you would have had that needle. Trust me, the fact Applejack laid onto you without evidence isn’t something I think is ok. Just the same, garnering sympathy like that just to make things worse isn’t something you should do either. And before you jump on my case about mentioning that, let me reiterate that what Applejack did was not ok. Considering how well you did in her class and how well you seemed to listen in Rarity's, I can actually say I'm proud of you..”
Hn, guess you really couldn’t argue that. As long as Starlight acknowledged you were mostly doing the right thing, then everything was ok. “Alright, alright. As long as it’s understood I have been doing good. Actually, aside from this, and what happened with Rainbow, everything has been going fine so far. I doubt Aunt Fluttershy’s class is going to give me any trouble.”
“Rainbow Dash? Something happened?” Starlight asked as she returned to her desk. “Huh… Let me take a guess, did it have to do with the newly renovated stadium?”
You nod. “Yep. She spazzed because it didn’t have everything she wanted.”
Starlight chuckled at that. “Well of course, if it had everything she wanted we’d blow through the whole school budget just maintaining it. In fact…” Starlight opened her desk and put some papers on top of it. It seemed to be Rainbow’s list of wanted renovations, with another paper seemingly being the cost of said renovations, with estimated monthly maintenance bills attached “I thought it’d be fun to count up the bits needed to make it all happen. Take a look.” She says as she uses her magic to have the papers hover in front of you.
You just give it a stare. Was seven hundred bits a month a lot? And to get everything set up was nearly three thousand. You know everything was usually very low cost in Ponyville, so you had no idea how much anything like this really cost, especially for infrastructure. It was something Starlight was already able to notice from your expressions.
She sighed and pulled the papers back. “It’s a lot, Anon. Discord has spoiled you, I swear. You have no idea the value of anything, do you?”
“I know a bundle of apples are like two bits.” You say, until you realized she called you spoiled. “Hey! I know how much stuff cost. I pay for a lot of stuff all the time!”
“Yeah, with the money your Dad has given you. But that’s fine, it’s fine. Considering for all the time you’ve been in Equestria that Ponyville has been where you’ve been for most of it, that’s to be expected.” Starlight said as she relaxed in her seat. “Let’s not get into a fight about it. So, moving on…” She stops to look at you to make sure you were on the same page with her.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m not gonna start something with you, Starlight.” Dammit, why did she have to look at you like that. “But how about you stop teasing me, huh? Already been through enough today, I don’t need you to get up on my grill.”
“Sorry, Anon.” Starlight said with a sigh. “I had my fun, so let’s get serious. So, made any new friends?”
“Sorta, I met most of them before. I guess Sandbar is a new friend. But Smolder, Cozy, Yona, Ocellus, Gallus, and Silverstream are friends I already met. Seven total, not bad, eh?” You say with a grin.
“Yeah, actually, that isn’t bad.” Starlight says with a dark chuckle as she claps her hooves together. “Neighsay can’t do shit to us. I mean, you yourself can say they’re all on the level, right?”
Oh boy… “Yeah, number one, I can say they’re all really nice and friendly. Some being super nice and friendly. So yeah, Neighsay can’t say anything about it.”
“Awesome! But, wait, what’s number two then?” Starlight asked, confused.
“The very word that came out of your mouth just then.” You say as you find it hard to resist grinning.
“The word that came out of my mouth?” Starlight said as she pondered on that, trying to figure out how that could be number two. Then her eyes went wide when she realized it. “Dammit! I used a human curse ag-! DAMMIT! I MEAN DARNIT! UGH!” Starlight slams her face onto her desk as she groans hard. “I can’t be saying those kinds of things in front of the students. I gotta get out of this habit.”
“Dunno, you’re pretty cute when you get all flustered over it.” You say, giving her a cool grin before the blanket is suddenly pulled over your face.
“That’s not funny, Anon. This is a serious job.” Starlight says as she raises her head, staring at you, annoyed.
You flip the top of the blanket back, returning Starlight’s gaze with a puffed up one of annoyance. “Hey! I can poke fun too, y’know? Besides, what I said isn’t wrong.” You say as you try to point your hooves as guns… But have no fingers to make the clicky noises from your mouth make sense. Whatever, it still counts.
Starlight went silent for a moment, raised her hoof and shook it as she grimaced to herself. “Alright, that’s true, that’s fair. But still, I have to take my job seriously, k?”
“Alright, but to be fair, this is more of a social visit than you doing your job, right?” You say with another grin, only for the blanket to be thrown over your face again. You only chuckle this time, as Starlight lets one out of her own soon after.
“You’re a wise guy sometimes, Anon, I swear. But, with that out of the way…” Starlight takes a moment, relaxes, and tenses just a bit with her next words. “So, Chrysalis, anything new?”
You almost tensed there. But considering it seems Starlight was assuming you could have seen Chrysalis before school, then maybe… “Actually, yeah.”
“Yeah?” Starlight said, suddenly becoming a little fearful. “So, what’s new then?”
“Actually, if you’re worried it’s about her plans against Twilight, then no worries, that’s not what’s new.” You say.
“Huh? Then what?” Starlight asked, confused and curious.
“She said she felt some kind of disturbance in the Everfree Forest. Part of me thinks it’s nothing. But considering she has nothing to lose by mentioning it, it could also be something worth checking out. Y’know, to make sure it’s nothing crazy.” You say, rather calmly.
“Or she’s trying to lure you away to remove the chaotic equation to her plan. Kind of pointless, really, there’s no way she’s getting close to Twilight.” Starlight said, completely untrusting of Chrysalis.
“I dunno, it could be true. If it’s one thing I can confirm, Chrysalis won’t share Equestria with anypony, and she especially won’t let anyone take down Twilight before she gets her chance. Given Equestria’s track record, it might be worth looking into, y’know?” Again, considering this could be a ‘season boss’, it’d just be safer to look into it.
“That’s fair, it could be that too. Hmmmnnn…” Starlight began to think, coming out from behind her desk once more to pace up and down the room. “I could look into it myself. I could ask Maud to help me out so I’m not in there by myself. Can’t bring Trixie though, for obvious reasons.”
Wait.. “You’re friends with Maud?”
“Yeah, why?” Starlight asked.
Hm, you’d think you’d remember something like that. Then again, it was hard to remember every little detail, specially since you couldn’t remember those two ever hanging out. “Nothing. But why you two, exactly? Not knocking on your investigative skills or anything, but I know somepony who might be better for the job.” That somepony being Bonbon, of course.
“Well, because I’m very skilled at magic, and could get us out of any hairy situation. And Maud because her attention to detail is pretty much unmatched. Though, that is mostly towards rocks, she is still very perceptive. But, if you want to ask your friend to join us, I don’t mind, as long as he or she isn’t going to be a liability.” Starlight explains.
“Er…” Well, now you couldn’t just name Bonbon, secrets and all. “No, actually, ok. I see what you mean. Are you two going to be ok in that forest though?”
“We’ll be fine. We’ll make sure we’re properly geared up before we go check things out. But, what about your friend?” Starlight asked.
“Oh, yeah. Well, like I said, I see what you mean, so she isn’t exactly the best candidate. But then, er, if you both are going to check things out, do you even know what you’re looking for?” You ask.
“Do you?” Starlight asks back.
Nope… “Yeah, no.”
“Alright then, and given we’ve been in Equestria longer, I think we’re qualified enough to know if anything is wrong. All I’m expecting from you is to make sure you're ready at all times. And, speaking of ready, a small regiment of guards should be arriving from Canterlot and the Crystal Empire in a few days. Twilight isn’t looking forward to it, but more security is more security. Don’t worry, they’ll be instructed not to try to destroy Chrysalis or even apprehend her. All we have to do is stop her, right?” Starlight asked.
“Yeah, pretty much.” You say as you look upon your shackles. “All you gotta do is foil her plan and the curse is cancelled out.”
“Then I doubt, as long as everypony stays alert, we’re not going to have a problem.” Starlight says as she winks towards you. “You can count on us, Anon. Although…” Starlight begins to wonder about something. “You’re really really sure she’s planning on reforming?”
You nod. “I’m sure, she seems pretty ready to give up if things go sour.” You weren’t actually sure, but you were pretty sure. You were damned pretty sure.
“Well, ok then, nooooo problem. So, feeling better?” Starlight asked as she noticed you seemed pretty ok now, your sour mood gone.
“Yeah, I’m good.” You say as you throw off the blanket. “Guessing my Aunt’s class is starting now? Hrn, kinda feel bad about missing Pinkie’s class. Hope she doesn’t think less of me after that joke.”
“You’ll be fine, you know how she is.” Starlight says as she reassures you.
“Yeah, Pinkie is pretty forgiving. Uh, I guess I’ll be on my way then. But er, Starlight, can I ask you a question?” You needed to leave on something. One more tease, simply because her reaction to human stuff is always a delight.
“What is it?” Starlight asked.
“Have you fucked Trixie yet?” You ask her, giving her a cool grin.
“Dunno, have you fucked a cactus yet?” Starlight says back to you, exchanging your cool grin with one of her own.
G-Gyah?! “What in the?! What?!”
“I was pretty clear, wasn’t I? Yeah…” Starlight snickers as she balances an ink bottle on her hoof, staring at it with a smirk and half lidded eyes. “You can only saturate your teasing so much before it becomes predictable, Anon. Although, if you want, I can ask Zecora about some voodoo magic…” Starlight jumped up on her desk and pointed at you with a dominating look. “...So you can go fuck yourself! HAHA!” She cackled.
“Ooooooh, what does ‘Fuck yourself’ mean? Is that a cool hero maneuver?” Came a cute bubbling voice.
Both you and Starlight jump in surprise when you both peek back at the door. OH SHIT! IT WAS SILVERSTREAM!
“Er, ye- I MEAN NO! FORGET WE SAID ANYTHING!” You yell out as you fall back.
“Forget?” Silverstream asked as she sat down, rubbing her head before giggling. “It’s going to be hard to forget after just hearing it.”
Starlight’s eye was twitching as she fell back on her chair, she was internally cursing herself for once again cursing with human words. She had to think of something, ANYTHING, to make this go away. “Er, actually. It’s my nickname for Anon, since we’re friends!”
“WHAT?!” You say as you look back at Starlight. What was the fuck was she talking about?!
“That’s a nickname? That’s weird. Never heard of ‘Yourself’ as part of a nickname. Wow, I’ve been underwater for waaaay too long, I’m missing out on so many cool ways to nickname a friend!” Silverstream said, confused.
“Silverstre-” But before you could say anything, Starlight begins to talk over you, frantically.
“No, no! ‘Yourself’ isn’t part of it. Er, you see, I was just saying, er. ‘Fuck’, you need to go see for yourself.” Starlight said with a crazed chuckle.
“But I didn’t hear the ‘You nee-” But Silverstream is quickly cut off as Starlight screams out.
“THAT’S WHAT I SAID! Er! Ahrm, I mean. Well, er, you came in while I was privately counselling Anon. Silverstream, you know you’re supposed to knock before coming into my office, right?” Starlight said, nervous, her body twitching in fear and anxiety.
“Ooooh, right. I guess I got curious what all the yelling was about. Sorry. Is everything o- Nope, I can’t ask that. Private talk, right?” Silverstream asked Starlight.
“Yes, YES! I mean, yes. D-did you need anything else?” Starlight asked, hoping for a ‘no’.
“Nope, just going to my next class! Hey, Anon, your next class is your Aunt’s, right?” Silverstream asked, her excitement building.
“Yeah, wh-GYAH!” You jump back the moment Silverstream gets all excited and giddy.
“YEAH! Oooooohhh! I can’t wait! I bet there are so many secrets to learn about being kind between the two of you that my head could just explode trying to learn it all!” Silverstream said, still bouncing up and down with energy.
That was… Surprisingly morbid of her to say, given the context. “Y-yeah, er. Um, can’t wait! C-can I get another minute with Counselor Starlight, please?”
“Oh, sure! I’ll see you at class, Anon!” Silverstream said as she waved to you, then flew off in a zig zag as she silently repeated to herself how awesome class was going to be.
You close the door and look to Starlight, flustered, flabbergasted. “What the fuck was that?!”
“I dunno! I had to come up with something! I can’t have them repeating those kinds of words, learning about them, spreading it around. You know why!” Starlight said, on edge about the whole thing.
“Yeah, but why does my name have to be ‘Fuck’?!” Like, christ, why?!
“Because you had to be the one to try to get one on me! It’s not my fault! You should have just walked off!” Starlight bellowed back at you.
“Dammit, I… I… Fuck... Dammit, you shouldn’t have tried to fight back!” You yell back at her.
“Oh really?! So you think I’m supposed to be surprised and easy all the time?!” Starlight barks back at you.
“Yesssssirrrnooo? Er…” Oh boy…
“I see… Well, if you fee-OH NO! TWILIGHT?!” Starlight said in a sudden panic.
“WHAT?!” You look back, only to see nothing. You suddenly feel a magical kick on your rear as you roll through Starlight’s door and smash into the wall on the other side of the hallway. Your back hits the wall and you slide down along your face. You just lay there for a moment, even as students pass by, wondering what you were doing. “...I deserved that.”
Ahh, finally, Fluttershy’s class. This class had the smell of the forest within it. Like Pinkie’s, it was rather open, to allow the animals Fluttershy would bring to scurry or fly around freely without hitting or crashing into something. Aside from the random pony classmates, the friends you had this time were once again Sandbar and Gallus, but with Silverstream and Cozy in the mix this time as well. The smell was familiar, but then again, staying at Fluttershy’s cottage so many times, you were used to the smell of birds, squirrels, mice, a bear, rabbits, and other such things.
You stood proud next to Fluttershy, who was all too eager to introduce you. “Hello class, and welcome to kindness class once again. As I’m sure you all know by now, Anon, my nephew is a student in our wonderful school. But, ahrm, I’m sure some of you might be worried that because he is my nephew, that he will receive some sort of special treatment. I can tell you that it won’t be an issue here, as I consider all my students family. Now, that doesn’t mean Anon shouldn’t introduce himself to his fellow students. So, Anon, would you like to introduce yourself?”
Of course you did. You noticed a few ponies you hadn’t seen yet, so you step forward and do a polite bow. “Yes ma’am. Hello everycreature, I’m Anon, nice to meet all of you.” You had to be extra nice sounding for Fluttershy. You didn’t want to embarrass her and you needed to make sure she was proud of you. Not just for Discord’s sake, but for your own as well.
As the class replied, Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile. She was already feeling overwhelming joy just from the way you seemed to be accepted. “Oh, I so love it when everycreature is already getting along and are oh so friendly with each other. Which is why today’s class is going to be extra special. Now that everycreature understands the basics of kindness, we can start putting it to practice. See, sometimes, our animal friends can use a little help in learning about kindness themselves. Specifically, friends who might try to eat our other friends. That’s why I brought some of my more friendly ‘predator’ friends to learn a lesson from all of you about kindness and not wanting to eat their fellow animals. Now, I know this sounds a little frightening, but I can assure you it’s anything but. These friends of mine already follow a pretty strict regimen of healthy foods that simulate their dietary needs, all made by me, so they won’t try to eat or hurt you. But like many animals, sometimes they get ever so frightened, or remain aggressive towards others, even if they are of their own kind. N-now, I know the word aggressive is scary, but I promise, it isn’t what you think. And as long as you show them loving kindness, then they too will see how good it is to be treated well by so many others, and will want to treat others just as nicely.”
“Oh my…” Cozy said as she hovered upwards, calling to Fluttershy’s attention. “You mean we’re going to be handling scawy animals?”
“Oh no no no, they aren’t scary at all. Like I said, they follow a regimen and are pretty friendly due to all the love and care they get in the sanctuary. But you see, being predators, sometimes they feel that nocreature wants to be their friends. Not only is that wrong, but I’m sure you all can make a real connection with them if you just try, and show them how wrong they are.” Fluttershy said, enthusiasm in her voice as she tried to calm Cozy’s nerves. “And you won’t be doing it alone either. You all will be split into teams of three and-”
“OH! CAN I BE ON ANON’S TEAM!? I WANT TO BE ON ANON’S TEAM!” Silverstream yelled out, at a pitch that caused her fellow students to back off from her. Noticing this, she got nervous and quieted down. “E-erm, I mean, can I be on Anon’s team, please?”
“O-oh” Fluttershy herself was a little startled by that, she couldn’t even imagine how the other animals might feel hearing that kind of yelling. Some of the cages began to wobble, presumably from being startled. Cages, eh? How odd for Fluttershy to put animals into them. “W-well, if that’s ok with Anon, then that’s fine. But let’s not get all excited and hyper, alright? It scares the animals.” Fluttershy says, which causes Silverstream to sink a little lower as she squeaks out a small apology.
Animals, huh? You look around the room from where you stood and looked to the rather large cages near the corner. Not too many, but if it wasn’t for the fact it was Fluttershy, then this whole thing would be more than questionable. “Aunt, er, Professor…” Wait, why were you even worried? You’ve been around Fluttershy long enough and dealt with Angel enough to understand how most animals in Equestria work. Sure, some of the animals at the cottage saw you with disdain. But given you never really been to the sanctuary yourself, then the animals there don’t know of you either, a clean slate essentially. “I’d love to be on Silverstream’s team. And if you don’t mind, I’d not mind having Cozy on my team either.” You had to have her on the team, you wanted to assure her everything will be alright.
“Oh, well, that’s alright. The only thing I have to ask you, Anon, is are you sure you’re ready for this assignment? This is your first day, after all.” As much as Fluttershy felt you were ready, she also had a slight fear of you getting scared or antsy over predatory animals. She still remembered the chimera, and thought maybe you did as well.
“Pft, c’mon, I hang out with animals all the time. Plus, they aren’t dangerous, right? Trust me, I can handle it.” You say, arrogantly.
“Oh, ok, I guess that’s true and- Oh, Sandbar, did you have a question?” Fluttershy asked as she looked over at the sea green pony, who was raising his hoof.
“Yeah, Professor. I just wanted to ask if it’s ok, to like, hug the animals? Y’know, to show em’ we care?” Sandbar asked
“Are you serious? Do you really want them that close to you? I don’t know about you, but every griffon knows you don’t mess with dangerous animals. Unless, y’know, somecreature offers you a ton of bits to do it or something.” Gallus says, ending his words with a shrug.
“C’mon, Gallus! We gotta show them we care, right? Well, whenever I feel down, a hug from my mom always makes me feel better.” Sandbar said, bearing a cheerful smile.
“...I think there’s a difference between your mom and something that’s gonna bite your face off.” Gallus says.
Sandbar eyes go wide for a moment as he slowly touches his own face. “Do you think that’d really happen?”
“Dunno. Professor, are you really sure it’s safe? It’s not like I’m scared or anything, I’m not, but risks are risks.” Seems Gallus didn’t want to take any chances with this, fearing one of the animals may indeed try to attack them.
“Well, if it makes you more comfortable. We do have a hawk, is that ok?” Fluttershy asks.
“A hawk? Eh, sure, why not? I’m practically half hawk anyway. We’ll take the hawk.” Gallus says, nodding.
“Yeah, a hawk sounds good. But doesn’t it have razor sharp talons?” Sandbar asked.
“I mean, so do I, and you don’t see me ripping anycreature’s face off.” Gallus said, playfully bearing his talons towards Sandbar.
“Er, can we stop talking about ripping faces off please? Y-you're making me feel uncomfortable now.” Fluttershy said, feeling a little squeamish over the exchange.
“Sorry about that, Professor. Oh, hey, Silverstream, what animal are you going to go with?” Sandbar asked.
“I… Really don’t know too much about animals other than the ones in the water. Oh, can we pick a shark? I always wanted to try to tame a shark, but I keep being told I shouldn’t.”
Holy shit, NOPE! Given the cages, you doubted there were sharks among them. Actually, fuck that, if you were going to handle an animal. Why not a snake? Snakes were cool. God, you hoped Fluttershy had a snake. “Er, Silverstream, I don’t think there are any sharks in those cages.”
“Anon is right, Silverstream. But I do have a snake, a panther, a fox, a baby crocodile, and Mr. Bear. Mr. Bear will actually be assisting me, making sure none of the other animals get scared or hurt. Erm, that also includes you all as well.” Fluttershy said as she neared one of the cages. "As in, we'll be making sure you're all safe too."
Wut? “You put Mr. Bear in a cage?” Well, he was a bear, but other than the few threats he made towards you due to Angel, the guy was practically a puppy.
“No, he actually volunteered to be in a cage. He didn’t want to scare the students by just walking into the school. Mr. Bear is so nice and considerate.” Fluttershy says as she opens a cage, as a large but pacifistic bear steps out from it. He looked docile, already waving hello as a lot of the class jumps back in fright. The bear just smiles as he continued to wave towards everyone. “This is Mr. Bear, everycreature. And Mr. Bear, these are my students.”
The bear just continues to wave as some of the students seem to notice he is friendly. Though, Mr. Bear does give you a deep stare as he turns towards you. You just raise a hoof at him and shake it, saying. “Er, hey, Mr. Bear.” Yeah, you weren’t going to fuck with this guy or out yourself. You knew saying anything in response, especially in front of Fluttershy, would not be good for you. But then, you also thought on something. A snake? You could handle a snake, you wanted to handle a snake, especially a frie-WAIT DID SHE SAY PANTHER?! Wait, she did, and why did that worry you? Golden Delicious had a panther, or was it a cheetah? While your memory was spotty on that, you knew if she could tame a big cat, then Fluttershy definitely had it handled.
Though, the rest of the class reeled back again when on the same realization you did, that she had a fucking panther. “Woah! You got a panther in those cages?!” Gallus said as he hopped back. “Are you sure that’s safe?! Because that is something that’ll definitely rip off some faces.”
“What’s a panther?” Silverstream asked, the only one who wasn’t responding in fear to anything Fluttershy had to say.
“Oh, they are predatory big cats. But this one’s name is Petunia, and she’d never ever do anything to hurt anycreature. I promise, all the animals are safe to be around.” Again, Fluttershy tried to assure everyone.
“A cat? Like the ones that go meow? Oh! I bet it’s so adorable! Can we make friends with Petunia?” Silversteam asked.
“Well, that’s alright, as long as no-” But before Fluttershy can even go about asking the rest of the class, everyone takes a step back, murmuring or frantically saying that the panther was all hers. “Oh, well ok then. Cozy, Anon, are you both alright with wanting to make friends with Petunia?”
Cozy, who seemed so worried about it before, just nodded and smiled, as if she suddenly had nothing to worry about. “That’s alright with me, I wuv kitties!”
A panther named Petunia? Tamed by Fluttershy? You had nothing to worry about… Though you really wanted to handle a snake. Ah well. “No, it’s fine, I’m cool with it.”
“Alright then, I’ll let her out first, that way everycreature can see just how nice she is.” Fluttershy says as she hovers over Petunia’s cage and slowly lifts up the lock. “Petunia, oh Petunia, come on out. We have so many new friends for you to meet.” And slowly, a beautiful black panther, with a playful expression, stepped out. Fluttershy landed in front of it and started hugging at her head. The Panther immediately began to pur and nuzzle into Fluttershy, Fluttershy giggled as she nuzzled back “Oh, Petunia, you’re so sweet. I hope you didn’t feel bad being locked in that cage.” Petunia shook her head, pointing her paw towards Fluttershy, then back to herself, letting out a soft growl. “Oh, well, that’s very sweet of you to say. Of course you can trust me, I’ll never let anything bad happen to you. Oh, this is my class, by the way, the one I told you about. Well, Petunia, today you’ll be making friends with Silverstream and Cozy Glow.” Fluttershy said as she pointed over to them. Petunia, oddly enough, waved her paw at them. Seems she really was a sweet big cat. “Oh, and you’ll be making friends with Anon too! He’s my nephew, the one I told you about, so I’m sure you two will get along just fine.” Fluttershy then points over to you as you wave to Petunia.
But then something weird happens, something no one was expecting. As you waved and greeted Petunia, she suddenly growled in hostility. “Woah! H-hey, Petunia, I-I don’t kno-HEY WAIT! WHAT ARE YODFGDSASDFSDFS” And before you, Fluttershy, or anyone else could react, Petunia rushes over to you, bites down on your tail, and starts dragging you as she rushes out of the classroom. All you could do was scream for dear life as you slid across the floor, right on top of your face, as you banged against the walls of the school.
“Was that supposed to happen?” Gallus asked. But as he turned to Fluttershy, who had turned white and fainted, he realized something. “I… Yeah, never mind, I don’t think that was supposed to happen.”
Petunia held on to your tail just hard enough to drag you around while the skin of it fit snug between her teeth. Didn’t stop you from screaming as she ran as quick as a cheetah, your body smashing into walls as she speedily, and with great agility, escaped the school while dragging you along. And she just kept going and going, dragging you along the dirt road out of town until she dropped you off by a set of trees near a river path. You had no charges, and with how banged up you were from the trip, you were slowly dragging yourself to the base of a tree as you looked at the panther with frantic eyes. You tried reaching for your saddlebag to starlight hook the fucker, but it seemed it wasn’t on your person. FUCKING DAMMIT, YOU WERE GOING TO DIE!
Until suddenly, you hear a familiar squeaking noise coming from behind you. Suddenly, a realistic looking doll of you holding a box of what smelled like food, was tossed out towards the panther. Petunia sniffed it, nodded, picked it up with her mouth, gave you a nasty look, and left back towards the school. No, no, it can’t be. You look back as you see that familiar rabbit, donning a fedora and tiny yellow trench coat, stepping out in front of you as he tilted his hat and looked at you with a dark smile.
“Angel?! The fuck?! You set this up?! You asshole! No, fuck that, that’s it! You went too far this time! You fucked with the wrong pony, and you’re going to pay!” No, fuck this guy! You just got smashed around and dragged across a dirt road after having your tail chomped by a fucking panther. How he set this up, you don’t know. But if it was revenge, well, he picked the wrong guy to mess with.
Angel nodded, but he turned away as he put his little paws into the pockets of the trench coat. He then began to squeak a little more.
“The fuck do you even mean?! Is this about the safe?! Yo, fuck off, Fluttershy asked me to make that, she knew what’s up! Goddammit, fuck it, I’m gonna bite at your stupid tail and see how you like being dragged around!” You shout back at him.
Suddenly, a large carrot is tossed past in front of the rabbit. He simply waves to you, takes the carrot, and begins to hop off. He looked back for a moment, squeaks at you, and then finally fucks off. A carrot? Out of nowhere?! And the hell did he mean ‘he only convinced the panther’. What?! No, Anon, fuck that, don’t let him leave! “Hey, where are you going?!”
“Back to the cottage, I suppose. And that doll should do a good job at fooling your classmates for a while. Well, maybe not, but I did make it to appease all of Fluttershy’s sensibilities.” Said another familiar voice. Oh god, what?!
You look back to see Discord, leaning by the very tree you dragged yourself towards. He also donned on a fedora and trench coat. “Holy fuck. Discord?! No, nononono. Tell me you didn’t team up with that shitty rabbit. Why would you even!? What the fuck do you want?!” Like what kind of shit was this?! You look back at your tail, which had its fur mostly gone. You grab it to show it off to Discord, pissed as fuck. “Look what that cat did to my fucking tail! Are you high?! I want an explanation, now!”
“What’s to explain?” Discord said with a shrug. “I needed a subtle way to get you out of Twilight’s twisted school to help me with a little project. Ran into Angel, who was rather distraught about something you did, and we came up with the whole panther thing to get you here. Petunia was glad to help, seems you have a reputation with some animals, not the kind of reputation one would want with most of them. But that is neither here nor there.”
WUT?! “THE FUCK?! Discord! Fucking christ! Why didn’t you just fucking teleport me if you were going to pull this shit?! No, fuck that, why would you do this at all?! What project is worth pulling me out of class like that?!”
“Well, pulling you out of class ‘like that’ is something I have always done. Plus, unlike your old teacher, I do care about Fluttershy, you should know this. I needed an alternative way to meet with you that wouldn’t cause too much of a problem.” Discord explained as he stuck a literal wooden stick in his mouth and lit it up like a cigarette. “Ah, pure cherrywood.”
WUT?!?!?! “AND HOW THE FUCK DOES A PANTHER NOT CAUSE A PROBLEM AT ALL?! FUCKING, HOW?!” Holy shit, fuck Angel, you were going to fuck up Discord. You didn’t care how, you were going to do it.
Discord paused for a moment to give it some thought. Then he chuckled and shrugged. “Well, it seems you poked a small hole in my plan. The initial shock of what happened may have spooked Fluttershy, I admit. But with that doll I gave to the panther to act as you, or rather, Fluttershy’s perception of you, then everything should be alright once it is explained as one harmless misunderstanding.”
“HE DRAGGED ME ALONG ON MY FACE! GRRR! I SHOULD RIP YOU APART, I SWEAR!” Like fuck, what the hell did he want that it was worth all that?!
“Oh, your face? Hm, I suppose that isn’t as tough as your head, now is it?” Discord said as he walked past you. “Either way, you’re here, the situation at the school should be a non issue, I have apology cookies baking in case Fluttershy took it too hard. Yes, I think I have my bases covered.”
Bases covered? Uggghhh, he’s never going to realize what he did pissed you off. Why do you even bother? What is the point of ever getting mad at Discord for things like this? “You’re impossible, I fucking swear.” You growl as you look at your poor poor tail. “Whatever, look, this better be good, Discord. It better be worth it. Because aside from everything else; the fact you worked with Angel, and gave him a carrot, is making me not want to be friends with you right now. And what the hell do you mean by a project anyway?”
“Oh, don’t be so over dramatic.” Discord says as he gives you a disapproving look, his arms to his hips. “Usually, or sometimes rather, I wouldn’t fetch you like this unless it was for something important. Really, you’re acting like a baby. Not really the way you want to act since we need to present ourselves to Prince Shining Armor.”
WUT?! Already?! “That’s the project?! You dragged me out of class for that?! Why?! Never mind that Shining Armor is non-important. But why you, of all things in Equestria, do you care to take me to him now?! Holy crap, Discord, I was actually comfortable in the school. Now everyone is going to think I’m dead!”
“Noooo. As I said, that doll will take care of things. And yes, I get it.” Discord says as he grips his paw and talons, gritting his teeth hard, utterly annoyed all of a sudden. “It’s not like I wanted that to happen. But I had decided to deliver the letter personally, because I thought it’d be fun. Well, he didn’t seem to find it as fun as I did. I insulted his ability to stay calm, he whined to me that Twilight wasn’t safe, I insulted him some more, he started making demands that I ‘absolutely prove Twilight’s safety’, I told him everypony had it under control, he wasn’t having that and wanted to know everything between you and Chrysalis, and well…” Discord smiled a little sheepishly at you as he twiddled his talons between his claws. “I told him he was too pea brained to understand anything I’d have to say. He lost his cool, called you the pea brained one. I lost my cool, and told him that you yourself could explain it in such a way that you’d warp his entire perception of friendship, to the point that his feeble mind would be utterly crushed by the very idea of it. I may have also turned his wife into a bat, but that was only temporary. Either way, he wants to see both of us immediately, or he’ll personally put a damper on the whole thing.”
W-wut? Goddamn that fucking moron! Of course he’d lose his cool over something like that. Well, ok, anyone would, but the fact it fucks with your shit is not good, not good at all. And even still, Discord is the cause of all of this. You know, you just know, that he probably instigated it more than he let on. Though the genuine expression of frustration and remorse for what he did meant something to you, but that was probably because of the fact that every time he sticks up for you, he usually genuinely means it in good will. Ugh, you were still frustrated with him, Shining, and the situation. Hell, you were still frustrated with how you were brought here. But Discord was right, the situation, despite it being his fault, was important. Still, you were pissed at him either way, you just knew it was also a losing battle to express it at this point. “Ugh, fine, fine. Whatever, let’s just deal with it then, I guess.”
“What, no thank you for sticking up for you?” Discord asked, with a scoff within his tone.
That struck a nerve with you. You already had practically given up and was ready to go resolve it, but that shit? Yes, it was nice he stuck up for you. But the fact he caused all of this made you less than thankful. “Why? Why should I, Discord? I already knew he hated what was going on. And I don’t care what he thinks of me, and you know why, I said it to you already. What pisses me off is the fact I literally got dragged over here, by my tail, to deal with this shit right now, at this moment, when I was about to have an enjoyable time with Fluttershy and my new friends! But fine, let’s go, let’s get it over with. But know this, Discord, you owe me one this time, you get me? This is your fault, and you’re gonna own up to it.”
“Hmmm…” Discord stopped to ponder on your words, stepping back and forth as he tugged at his beard. “I can say it’s my fault, it probably most likely is. And I can understand, because of that, that it’d be a good reason for you not to be in a thankful mood. But me owe you, because of something like this? You do forget, my dear friend, that you and I thrive on chaos. This, what is going on now, is of chaotic happenstance. Instead of being angry at me, you should be thanking me.”
Thanking him? “Are you fucking joking? Thanking you for what? Ruining my day? The only reason I’m going is to get this shit sorted out is because you fucked things up.”
Discord stepped past you again as he tapped at his chin, his tone becoming more mischievous and devious. “I know. But, oh my, I forgot one teeny tiny detail. It seems Shining Armor wants to do more than just talk. See, I also mentioned that you mentioned that if it came down to it, you’d put our bug friend down yourself. Into Tartarus of course, but you know how it is around Equestria; that is usually one of the worst fates we have. That and being turned to stone. But I digress…” Discord turned to you, arms wide, as confetti shot out from all around him. “It’s show time!”
Wut? “Show time? The fuck? Discord, you seem to be missing something between that and your whole ‘worst fate’ explanation. The hell are you talking about?”
“Ah yes, I suppose I got ahead of myself, silly me. You see, Anon, I may have implied and manipulated his own frustrations just enough to get him to agree to a fight with you in the Crystal Empire’s stadium. The terms are simple, I shouldn’t have to mention what happens if you win… Or lose. Yes, telling him you were more than capable of protecting Twilight and able to stop Chryssy may have made him curious enough to see if you were truly capable of handling yourself. Yes, there is the whole business with the Storm King, but we all know the royals know the truth on how that went down. So yes, I expect you to thank me. Shining has become too stubborn to convince with words. But through the classic tradition of settling it like stallions, you shall prevail!” Discord said as his tone shifted to a medieval english accent.
“You… Set up a fight for me?! With him? The Prince of Can’t-do-Shitopia?” Your rage and frustration left you as you were left to think on it. “So you’re telling me if I can beat him, he’ll support me one hundred percent, without suddenly doing a one eighty? Also, I'm not thanking you, you still got my body dragged across my face. Look at it, it's fucking banged up! I expect you to fix that.”
"Ugh, fine." Discord said with his eyes rolling, making combs that begin to fix your mane, tail, and somehow, even your face as he continued to speak “And about Shining, I can guarantee it. So, yes, my bad, I made things somewhat worse. But I also turned his worries into fears." Discord then looked to you with a more serious expression. "Anon, tell me, do you really believe he would have been so willing to listen? He took back his decision to allow it for a reason, the love for his sister. He was never going to listen to reason at this point.” Discord stepped towards you, made a fist with his paw, and held it ahead of himself as he shook it. “But through chaos, he will have no choice but to finally agree with your plan, once and for all.”
Was that true? Was he so invested in his worries that he would have just forced you to call the whole thing off, or worse, have him handle it? Heh, and who cares if he was. He sent the letter, he was ready to throw down in some way. But with your horn… Wait. “Discord, what about my charges?”
“Do you really have to ask?” Discord said.
No, no you didn’t. And again, you had to think about this. Shining Armor taking back his approval was already a dick move, so he deserves this. And then there was something else, something that made you look to Discord with a grin. “You just want me to show him up, don’t you?”
Discord began to blush and sway left and right as he held his talons and paw together. “D’awww, Anon, you know me so well. You can’t tell me you don’t want that either. For him to put our power into question, at all, should be met with said power directly to his face. Tell me I’m wrong, go ahead, tell me.”
Nope. “You’re not. Oh baby, I would say this was going to be fun, but we both know it’ll be too easy.”
“Oh come now, Anon, remember the lesson? Toy with him a little before you prove your point. I know the outcome is important, but that’s no reason not to play with your food.” Discord said as he began to balance a spoon on his talon. “We already know you’re going to win.”
Tch, he wasn’t wrong about that either. “Fine fine, I’m convinced. I need to let out a little steam over what you did anyway. But let’s get it done quick, alright? That doll might fool Fluttershy, but if it's still walking around by the time Diamond eventually sees it, she’ll know what’s up. Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling she wouldn’t be fooled by it.”
“Not to worry, Anon. This should go down quick enough for you to still participate in half of Fluttershy’s class without her ever knowing what happened. Now then…” Discord held up a sword as he donned a cape and gladiator helmet. “To battle!”
There you both were, standing in the middle of an empty stadium within the heart of the Crystal Empire. You were prepped, your horn was recharged, Discord even gave you your backpack so you had more tools at your disposal just in case. Shining was going down! He was going to regret going against you. “So, are we really doing this?”
“We are, and it is indeed the best case scenario. Anon, there’s no way he’s going to beat you.” Discord said as he began to shoot popcorn from his nose and into a paper popcorn bag. You could see smoke coming from his nostrils, as popping noises could be heard from within. “It’s going to be quite the show.”
“I’ll make sure to make it one. Really, challenge me? Trust me, I’m gonna beat him for sure. I kinda always wanted to show him up anyway, guy seems pretty damn co-hm?” As you were speaking, Cadance, with Flurry on her back, flies on in from above and lands beside you and Discord, looking rather distraught.
“Ok, good, you’re both here.” She says, half to herself, as she gives you both a serious stare. “Look, I won’t demand the both of you to do anything. But I am asking you to try to call this off. Because Shining, he won’t listen.”
Discord snorted at that. “And I will? Do you see my bag of popcorn? I’m ready to see some action, so why would we call it off?”
“Ok, should have seen that coming. Anon, you’re more reasonable. I’m asking you, please, do not engage my husband. He’s taking this waaaaay too seriously, and for your sake, I’d rather you not lose to him.” Cadance asked, practically begging as the baby on her back looked at you with harsh eyes.
Was she kidding? Call it off? For your sake? “And why would I do that? I know you’re ok with the whole Chrysalis thing, but before that, you all, all of you, were always jumping down my throat. I’m here to prove I can handle myself, the situation, and protect Twilight. If ‘your husband’ wants to try to prove something, let him, I’m right here.”
“This is ridiculous” Cadance whispers to herself in aggravation as she brings a hoof to her forehead. “Look, I get it, you have something to prove. Let me remind you that you have help from all of us for something, I remind you, is considered insane.”
“And there’s a problem with insanity?” Discord asks with a cool smirk.
“Not now, Discord! I’m being serious, and so is he. I’d rather we handle things the way we’re doing now than let Shining do what he wants to do. And if he wins, he’s going to do… Something. I don’t know what it is exactly, but considering this whole curse thing, I don’t even want a chance for Chrysalis to be destroyed.”
“You… Actually care about that?” Like, that was unexpected. You thought, in most ways, she’d be on Shining’s side. It caught you off guard.
“Yes, or else I wouldn’t have agreed in the first place. I don’t want anypony to meet a pointless end when there is a better way. If Chrysalis can be saved, be redeemed, then I’m all for it. Shining, especially because…” She looks over at Discord with a mean look “Of him, isn’t going to handle this Chrysalis situation the way it should be. And trust me, Anon, if you go through with this, he will beat you.”
Wut? “I-I mean, thanks for the confidence with Chrysalis. But you don’t think I can win? You do realize I wield chaos magic, right? I know he’s your husband, but I’m more than a match for him. But since you’ve been so understanding, I can promise to go easy on him.”
“Anon, you don’t get it. He’s already been testing some armor he’s made from Chrysalis’s old throne, given to us by the changelings themselves. This armor, Anon, disables all magic around it, both his and yours. And let me ask you something, do you think you can beat a fully trained soldier? You’re smaller than most colts even, there’s no way you can win, and I don’t want to see you lose.” Cadance explains, trying to get through to you.
Before you could say anything, Discord began to laugh wholeheartedly, finding the whole thing preposterous. “You jest, surely you jest. A anti magic armor that can nullify my magic? A anti magic ‘anything’ that can stop my awesome power? Such a thing surely doesn’t exist.”
“Except for the fact Tirek stopped you by outright draining your magic.” Cadance reminded him.
Discord stood there, silently, a little dumbstruck before finally replying. “I mean besides that.”
“Wait, hold on, Discord. This might actually be serious. I went up against anti magic material before, but it only stopped regular magic. Cadance, why do you think it can stop chaos magic?” Damn it, you wanted this fight so bad, but Cadance was pretty hot, and the fact she believed in your plan and was distressed picked at your heart pretty hard. You’d hear her out, and be cautious for once. But if there were no validity to her words, you would crush Shining regardless.
“If you mean the weird armor knight machine you said you fought in that other Equestria, it’s possible it was all improperly refined, causing it to lose some of its anti magic properties. The changelings were pretty clear that outright changing or refining the material could cause it to lose its power. Shining, knowing this, only refined it enough to have an effect in a small yet pretty profound area. It disables his magic, but I’m sure it's still powerful enough to disable yours.” Cadance explains. “So, please, I’m asking the both of you to just call this off. I’m sure he’ll listen to reason if you just explain things calmly.”
“Again, I scoff and disbelieve.” Discord replies. “There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can stop my power… Except for Tirek. Anyway, your worry is noted, but unnecessary. We have this win in the bag.” Discord said as he wiggled his popcorn bag towards Cadance.
DAMN IT! She was right, wasn’t she? Ugh, of course she was. You weren’t going to get to show up Shining. Hell, you weren’t even going to get the satisfaction of shutting him down. Looking at Cadance’s worried eyes, and the fact she cares about your cause. Ughhhhh, fiiiiiine. “Discord, ugh, she’s right, I can’t fight Shining.”
“See? He-WHAT?! How can you not?! How can we prove that chaos magic is the best magic if you back down!? And you, how can you not want to try to turn Anon into a pulpy splotch on the ground? Need I remind you that this entire situation got you turned into a bat?” Discord, now aggravated, wanted a show, he wanted to prove his power’s superiority. He couldn’t let this happen.
“Honestly, Discord, despite all the guards nearly fainting from the scary bat monster you turned me into, Flurry seemed to have a lot of fun poking at my nose during all of it. So, whatever, I’m ok with it, it entertained her. Didn’t it, Flurry?” She looked back at her foal, Flurry giving a small nod and cuddling up to her mother’s face. “Yes, you did, you had a lot of fun, huh?”
Discord’s eye twitched at that before exploding in a rage. “FUN?! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TERRIFYING! Ohhhhh! No, no, no. You’re not going to spoil this for me. My intentions are pure this time! Anon needs this win to guarantee you both will follow the plan. Not to mention showing off our complete chaotic superiority. What good is talking to him going to do? It is a waste of time!”
“Dammit, Discord. Geez!” You did really want to prove your power, but… “It’s over, ok? It’s better for us to just leave it be.”
“Anon, you can’t be serious. What makes you think, if you manage to convince him, that he won’t pull this stunt again, hm?” Discord asked as he chomped on his popcorn, aggravated like a hornet.
“Considering you pretty much caused this, yeah, I doubt he’ll go for this again as long as he isn’t provoked. Look, if you’re not going to be productive, then just let me talk to him, ok?” It was over, and Discord just had to stop being a baby about it at this point.
“Grrrr…” Discord growled, then pointed over to Cadance angrily. “You did this! You used your feminine wiles to take control of Anon’s mind!”
“Oh right, I forgot… Anon… Is like that.” Cadance said, feeling awkward about it, it was a strange topic to her. But then, it really started to put her into deep thought. “Then again, I guess looking at Anon with ‘those eyes’ would have saved me a lot of breath.”
W-Wut?! “U-uh” You stutter, blushing. “R-really? You w-would have done that?”
Cadance felt irked by those words. She was surprised that it really did seem enough to convince you, had she done it. Something so simple making you falter so easily. “Er… Yeah? Forget it, look, are we calling the fight off?”
“Yeah, we are. For sure.” You look over to Discord, who looked like he wanted to strangle something. “Really, don’t be selfish about it, ok? It’s over.”
“How?! How can it be over?! We have been challenged, Anon. I finally get to see this legendary anti-magic whatever for myself and you’re going to fold like a stack of cards! Why, I should…” But as Discord spoke angrily, a sudden yell could be heard from the other side of the Stadium. It was Shining Armor, garbed in a twisted black and green, tree like armor, but with no helmet to go along with it.
“Anon, Discord!” Shining yelled out as he stepped forward, wooden sword strapped to his back as every movement he made demanded respect, every step showing heroic bravado. “Glad you both could make it. Because we’re settling this whole Chrysalis th-Cadance?” Shining stopped, confused as to why his wife was there. “You’re here? Why are you here?”
“Shining, Honey.” Cadance stepped forward, in front of her husband. Flurry suddenly was holding onto Cadance tighter, as their horns seemed to be dimmer than usual for some reason. “I’ve been talking to Anon and Discord, and we’re all ready to discuss the whole Chrysalis thing, again, in a civilized way.”
“Yeah, I really don’t want to have any beef with you or anything. My mission is to protect Twilight and reform Chrysalis. Can’t exactly do that if we’re gonna be beating the tar out of each other.” You explain, stepping up next to Cadance.
“...What?” Shining was confused, deeply confused. “Woah, hold on. You don’t want to fight?”
Why did he seem so confused? You thought he’d be dead set on a fight. “Er, yeah. I mean, I kinda did before. But Princess Cadance is right, we should settle this peacefully.”
“That’s right. So, Shining, my love, can we just not be ridiculous and just talk things out?” Cadance pleads.
“Uh… Yeah, yeah.” Shining said in a low voice, somewhat confused, but also subdued by the worry in his wife's voice. “It’s just, Discord made it seem like Anon was willing to slap me around all of Equestria to prove some point. Like, he said Anon was the one who wanted to prove his point in battle. Honestly, I was surprised Anon wanted to challenge me so badly.”
“Really?” Cadance stopped for a moment, and looked over to Discord with a hard look. “That’s a detail I missed. I must have not heard it despite being turned into a bat.”
WUT?! “D, no, Discord! You said he was the one who wanted to fight!”
“He did! Ugh, Anon, you need to understand that stories sometimes become askew as they pass on from pony to pony.” Discord explains.
Your eye twitched in anger. “YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW THE STORY, ASSHOLE!”
“Anon! Watch your language! There are foals present!” Discord said with a smirk as he pointed to Flurry.
“Discord! Er, ok, you’re right about that, but still!” Cadance yelled, she was getting quite angry herself. “Did you set up Anon and my husband to fight each other?!”
“Well, yes. My reasoning is the same, even if the story was a little twisted. Shining was indeed having second thoughts, and was willing to meddle in Anon’s plans if he got too antsy. And don’t say I’m wrong, I’m not. I needed a way, through pony honor, to make sure he doesn’t upset Anon. So what if I fudged the truth a little, who cares!?” Discord said, waving his arms about. “Now we’re going to do the ‘responsible’ thing and talk it out. That won’t work mind you, Shining has already made his decision.”
“No he hasn’t, Discord. You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Cadance barked back.
“Actually…” Shining had a strained expression on his face as he shifted his eyes about. “He’s sorta not wrong on that one. I did have this armor prepped originally for something else, namely Chrysalis. I felt I could take it to Twilight so we could get it adjusted to affect changelings. I mean, come on, this is Chrysalis we’re talking about. She’s going to find a way to break the rules of the curse and hurt my sister. I can’t let it go down like that.”
“See? Talking to him was, is, and will always be pointless in this matter. He loathes Chryssi with a passion. But don’t worry, Anon, if you won’t deal with this, then I will.” Discord points to Shining, ready to throw down. “Shining Armor, I challenge you.”
“Honey, don’t do this, please.” Cadance begs, before looking to Discord. "Discord, please, just stop!"
You know what, fuck this. Discord had you dragged by the tail, while helping Angel, and brought you here on false pretenses. Sure, he was doing it in your honor, but fuck him right now, seriously. Besides, you had to know if everything said about Chrysalis’s throne was true. “No, wait. I want to see this, just to see who wins, without anything riding on it.”
“What?! Anon, didn’t we just agree there’d be no fight at all?!” Cadance asked, baffled you’d go back on your word so quick.
“I know, I know. But if I had to make a bet, it’d be on Shining. Just saying, I just want to see what happens.” You say, though those words upset Discord even further.
“Oh, ok, I see how this is. I’m the crazy one, I’m the one who’s wrong. And yet, I’m the one with all the power around here.” Discord said as he brought his talons together. “And if I have to get things done myself, so be it!” Discord snaps his talons.
Nothing happens.
“Er, I said… SO BE IT!” Discord growled as he snapped again, and yet again, there was nothing. “What’s going on? I’m pretty sure I didn’t take out a second mortgage on my magic.”
You sigh, with a satisfied smile on your face. “It’s Shining’s Armor, Dad. It really nullifies all magic.” You try placing your horn on your head, it doesn’t even light up or spew darkness. “It’s over. If I had fought, I’d have lost.”
Discord went silent, looked around, saw your cocky smirk, and plopped down on his ass as he threw away his popcorn. “Well, this stinks. Fine, carry on with your useless conversation. But for once, I won’t be helping, so nyah.” Discord said as he snapped his talons, snapped them a few more times, then began to grumble. “I can’t believe this, how can anything stop my magic? Really, how?! This is just a bad dream, that’s all. I’ll go home, make some coffee, throw it on that useless bug, and everything will be better.” He growled lowly to himself as he just walked off.
Well, that happened. Fucking Discord, he really can be so incredible sometimes. Both in a good and bad way.
“Well, that’s that. Sorry, guys. I promise, I wasn’t in on whatever that was, aside from what I already admitted to.” You tell them.
“I got that much.” Cadance sighs in relief “I’m just glad everything got settled without a fight.”
“Not everything.” Shining said. “I still want to discuss Chrysalis. I feel like she can still find a way to hurt Twily, and I’m scared that if I don’t do anything about that…” Shining goes silent for a moment there, looking down.
“Honey, nothing is going to happen to Twilight. She’s a big mare, she can handle herself. She has all the help she’ll ever need. Guards, her friends, Scrappy, Anon, and I’m sure even Discord, under all his… Er… Discordness, is watching over her too.” Cadance does her best to console her husband, but he just doesn’t seem to be listening.
“But is it enough? Chrysalis has been a sworn enemy to Equestria, long before I was even born. She wants to destroy Twily, and yet I gotta believe she is going to be reformed? Do you really understand what you’re all asking from me? You’re asking me to trust an outsider with the life of my sister, on the slim chance he’s right that Chrysalis will reform, while she wants to end my sister once and for all! I want to see Chrysalis myself, I know I can find out if she’s telling the truth. If I can get this armor’s power reversed, then she won’t be able to do anything else but talk to me.”
Ngh, no, you can’t let that happen. Chrysalis would never listen to him, and cutting off her magic would make her unreasonably angry. “Shining, please, I’m begging you, I am literally begging you, please don’t do that. Chrysalis won’t listen to anyone but me, and this curse…” You show him your shackles. “It’s serious, if she ends up trying to attack you, she’ll be ending her own life. She hasn’t been well, mentally I mean. Look, I’m taking this seriously, I really am willing to send Chrysalis to Tartarus if I have to. But I know, deep in my heart, that she’s willing to reform. But she has this thing, you know? Like you said, she’s been a threat for a really long time, of course she’s going to give it one more shot before she throws in the towel. That’s why we all have to focus on protecting Twilight. Chrysalis can’t hurt anypony else without risking her own life, she literally has no options.”
“Can you really do that, Anon? If you’re as close as you say you are, can you really send her to Tartarus? You can’t lie to me, bro, I know you have a basement to stick her in if nothing else works.” Shining says to you, still not trusting you.
“Yeah… I’ve thought about it a lot. I really was obsessed with Chrysalis’s well being, I just wanted her to reform and become good. But a good friend of mine showed me I was being pretty delusional. So, yeah, if somehow this doesn’t even work, then I’ll get rid of Chrysalis myself, you have my word as the ‘Hero Colt.’” You tell him
“See, Honey? You know this already, there was no reason to do this, and no reason to get upset by Discord’s craziness.” Cadance said, in a soothingly soft tone. Even Flurry was looking to Shining with a happy coo, trying to change his mind.
“What about turning you into a bat monster?!” Shining asked, surprised his wife would act nonchalant about everything that has happened thus far.
“Like I told Anon and Discord, Flurry enjoyed it, so no harm done.” Cadance said with a giggle.
“Geez, you forgive way too easily. You’re really not worried about Twily at all, not even a little?” Shining asked.
“Shining, you know I am. But everypony deserves a chance. We’re only giving Chrysalis one, can’t you give her that one too? If her children can change, doesn’t it stand to reason she can as well? And even with that, it is clear to me Chrysalis trusts Anon and is his friend. If she can’t even reform for him, then I think we can trust Anon to make the right decision, right, Anon?” Cadance looked to you, looking for an answer.
You let out a heavy sigh. Yeah it was true. “I will, I promise.”
“There, see? So can you take off that silly armor, put it away, and come take a walk with me and Flurry? I bet it’d make her really happy to have a day out with her mommy and daddy, don’t you think?” Cadance said, trying to convince him further. She felt a walk would calm him down more than it would anyone else.
Shining went silent for a moment as his gaze became transfixed on you. He knew he couldn’t argue Cadance now, even if he was still worried about Twilight. He had already given the ok once before. Now he truly realized how much the others seemed to be on your side. “I guess Twily… Ugh, I guess she really wouldn’t agree to all this unless she believed it can happen. Y’know, Friendship is magic. But you really better live up to that promise, Anon.”
“I promise you. Just as long as something like this doesn’t happen again. No matter how much my Dad tries to start something.” You tell him, serious on that.
“Right, I think I can handle that. And Cadance? Ah, I’m sorry, I lost my head, that’s all.” Shining said to her, apologizing.
“Don’t apologize.” Cadance said with a giggle. “I would have gotten peeved too if Discord turned my perfect stallion into something like, I don’t know, a crab?”
“A crab?! Why a crab of all things?!” Shining said in surprise, even stepping back.
“Well, you were kinda being ‘crabby’ about this whole thing.” Cadance said, still letting out small giggles.
“Y-yeah… Er, so Anon, wanna come with us on our walk?” Shining offered, surprisingly so. “Give us a chance to talk about this a little more, maybe show you some of the sights, that sort of thing. I feel getting to know you a bit better might help with our relationship.”
Flurry’s sudden death stare as she hugged onto Cadance cemented your answer into a no. You may have chaos magic, but that baby was going to kill you the moment that armor was put away. “Er, sorry, Shining. I gotta get back to my Aunt, Discord sort of interrupted my time with her and I want to get back before she gets worried about me.”
“I can understand that, you know how Fluttershy can be, right Shining?” Cadance asked.
“Yeah… Ok, maybe next time. But remember what I said, alright? It’s pretty fair.” Shining tells you.
“I got it, and I promise, if it has to happen, it’ll happen. You take care, you two.” Crisis averted, again. Of course, you weren’t out of the woods yet, you still had to get back to class. Ugh, but you also knew pretty much the entire animal kingdom hated you at this point. Stupid rabbit, he still needs his comeuppance.
That armor, interesting that the changelings would so nonchalantly let him have the throne to convert into armor. It was obvious they were more than willing to give it to him if it meant stopping Chrysalis in anyway, those bastards. It was scaringly potent though, enough to nullify all magic from at least fifty yards. Yeah, no way Chrysalis would be able to do a damn thing if and when he gets its power converted. You yourself had to make some distance just to get the horn the power back up.
The horn itself, interestingly enough, didn’t stay as Sombra’s horn when you put it on. Yes, it seems the charge, or charges, Discord placed on it was still in play. You’d hope it’d have more than one charge, as you needed to use this one to replace your living doll with yourself. No harm, no foul if you just teleport in, right? Bastard is probably soaking up all your deserved praise.
Disable magic, before you did your teleport, you took a look at your shackles. You didn’t even take the time to notice if they had been affected or not. Given they were still on your legs, it’s possible the curse is still powered through Chrysalis’s end, or something like that. Hell, you were glad you didn’t change back into a human. Seems when Discord put you through that mirror, that it really did naturalize your colt form. That was a relief, he was telling the truth on that. It almost made you feel nostalgic, as you have pretty much forgotten what you looked like. What could have been…
In any case, you teleport back to the classroom, not caring at all what your doll was doing. Although, upon arrival, that may have been a mistake. When your vision settled, you found yourself barely able to breath, hell, you were already turning red as you found yourself at the grip of a snake. The entire class was around you as Fluttershy looked to you, very worried.
“Professor Fluttershy, this is not looking good. I tried poking Sally with my talons and she ain’t budging. I feel like I tried everything by now, even tried the whole pretending to be a mongoose thing and that didn’t work. That doesn’t leave this room by the way.” Gallus said, looking around the room in hopes everyone understood that last bit. He seemed the least concerned out of everyone.
“Sally, please, please let my Anon go. I swear, he isn’t made of polyester, cotton, nor silk. Please, you have to stop.” Fluttershy pleaded.
“EWRWERAERAEREWR” WHY?! HOLY SHIT?! WHY DOES A SNAKE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH POLYESTER AND COTTON?! WHAT, DID SOME HOBO TRY TO DRESS IT UP OR SOMETHING?! HOLY CRAP, YOU COULDN’T BREATH!
“Golly, Anon is turning all kinds of blue and red… Is that a good thing?” Cozy asked, confused and curious by it all.
“No, it isn’t! We gave to help Anon! Sally, I don’t know if you can understand me, and I know the professor said not to spoil you by giving you your food all at once but…” Sandbar opens a sack and pours its contents, some meaty brown gunk, all over the ground. “There you go, it’s yours!”
Sally the snake, namely, a boa constrictor, looks down and flicks her tongue towards the food. Then she flicks her tongue on your face, suddenly turns greener as she makes a choking noise, and begins to loosen up on you as she goes to engorge on the food.
You fall over, twitching, your brain nearly lacking oxygen as Silverstream steps close to you and brings her ears to your thumping chest. “I think he’s ok! I can feel him breathing! It’s so fast!”
“I mean, yeah, he nearly choked because Sally has some PTSD with dolls or something, which is weird because Anon ain’t that, he just sort of looks like one. Anyway, the question is, is he ok?” Gallus asked.
“A-Anon? Are you ok? Please, speak to me.” Fluttershy pleaded, her voice soft and her care gentle as she picked you up and nuzzled into you. “Anon, please say you’re ok.”
“Erotic aphysxiation isn’t as good as anyone said it is, did I at least get laid?” You asked, your brain still muddled and your vision blurred. Your speech slurred and nearly incomprehensible.
“W-what?” Fluttershy said in surprise. “Anon?”
“Gee, his grammar is a little off, but I think he said ‘platonic xylophones aren’t as good as anycreature says it is, did I at least get paid?’. Oh no, he must think he’s a xylophone player!” Cozy said in shock.
“Xylophone player?!” Silverstream screamed in fear as she hid behind Gallus. “I don’t know what that is, but it sounds evil and scary!”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t say that is anywhere close to scary. Evil? I guess that depends on the song.” Gallus said sarcastically.
“Yeah, it’s ok, Silverstream. Anon must have just got the wind knocked out of him, literally. But he’s not changing colors anymore, so that’s a good thing, right?” Sandbar said, feeling relieved, yet cautious, as he observed your condition. “Anon, you ok?” Sandbar asked as he moved up to you and Fluttershy, trying to make sure you’re ok.
Indiana Jones was right, fuck snakes. To think you wanted to take care of the damn thing. You were still out of breath, but when you looked over to Sandbar, your eyes then began to scan the room, looking at the other students. Many were worried, some staying away from the rest of the animals, others began to whisper to each other that Fluttershy and her animals were dangerous, or she didn’t actually know how to handle animals. Goddammit, you couldn’t let that fly. You were going to look like an idiot, but you knew if you didn’t do something now, Fluttershy’s reputation would drop. Hell, if Neighsay heard about what happened, he might have his reason to close down the school. Animals attacking students? Oh yeah, that’s a good reason.
You gather your senses, hop out of Fluttershy’s gentle embrace, and address the doubtful class as you clear your throat. “A-and there we go, thanks, Sally. Yup, thank you indeed. Aha, I bet you’re all wondering what just happened.”
“What’s to wonder? You almost became snake food.” Gallus said, with a shrugs before looking at you like you were acting amiss. “Which makes it kinda weird that you’re thanking the snake. Dunno if it’s a pony thing, but we typically are thankful FOR food and not to BE food. Y’know, if griffons were thankful about anything.”
Geez, Gallus is a fucking killjoy sometimes, geez. “A-ah, but uh, you see… Ahrm, you see, that’s what you think! Yep, being the hero colt, and Professor Fluttershy’s nephew, I felt that it'd be an excellent learning experience for everycreature if they saw what happens when you mistreat or don’t trust animals. If you don’t respect animals, then they won’t respect you. And, yeah, I guess you all learned that, huh?”
“What?” The entire class asked, even Fluttershy said it. The confusion was vast, and Fluttershy herself could have sworn that none of that was faked.
“Anon, erm, I don’t th-” But before Fluttershy could finish whatever she was going to say, you cut her off.
“Ah, I know exactly what you’re gonna say. Well, it was, er, just like with Petunia! Yeah, it was scary because it looked like she was hurting me, but she wasn’t. Same thing with Sally. Looked like she was squeezing the life out of me, but uh, she was saying something nonsensical, right?” You ask. You knew you heard something about cotton.
“Golly, Anon, are you saying you had this all planned out? Just to teach us what could happen if we weren’t kind?” Cozy asked.
“Is that what it is?! WOW! That’s amazing! You risked your life just to teach us that, really?” Silverstream asked, totally enamored with your ‘impressive feat’.
“Well, I wouldn’t say ‘risk my life’. I’m the hero colt, remember? I had everything planned out, I was never in any danger.” You say, as your confidence began to return to you.
And while the class began to suddenly see it amazing, whispering at how cool you are to set something like that up, Fluttershy herself just seemed even more confused. For her, she could have sworn you never EVER interacted with the animals she brought into the class. But then she looked at the class, and how relaxed they looked, how impressed they were with you. Maybe you were telling the truth and she somehow missed it. And for once, even if you weren’t, maybe she could let it slide as it did seem you have good intentions. Well, she’d still have to talk to you about it, but it’d be fine to let things go for now.
And that was that. Classes were over for the day, and you were fucking glad they were. Day one, day fucking one, and things still couldn’t go normal for you. Still, things still went fine in terms of friendship. You made new friends, some being cute enough to warm the soul just by having them around. Silverstream was especially one of them, hanging on your every word as you regale her in your ‘Hero Colt’ stories, stories she said she’d write back home about to spread your legend. As for the whole Applejack thing, well, you didn’t need any stress from that, so you never told Fluttershy anything about it, she’d be told by the others, that you were sure of. She did, of course, make sure you were ok after all that fucking animal nonsense, and upon you saying you were alright, she then asked you how you enjoyed your first day. You told her it was awesome, and she reacted in kind, with an awesomely huggy reply, now that was something you’d never get tired of.
Three weeks had passed by since that day, three weeks without too much happening, surprisingly enough. Your letters to Neighsay seemed to be working out, although his replies were always indicative of him wanting you to be fully alert. Diamond was made up to date, which led to near daily ‘mission briefing’ meetings with her on how to protect ‘your sister’. It was cute, so you didn’t mind, she'd eventually get bored of it while still being mindful of whats going on with the situation. The guards finally arrived in Ponyville, but aside from a few stationed around Twilight’s castle, the rest were told to ‘dress as civilians’ so as to not startle the townsponies or the students. Chrysalis was a minimal threat to everyone but Twilight, so excessive show of authority wasn’t needed.
Starlight and Maud’s investigations turned up nothing, or rather, Starlight, Maud, and some dude named Mudbriar. Who TECHNICALLY made you want to blow your brains out with the way he spoke, and the need to be TECHNICALLY correct. Either way, while Starlight concluded things were probably fine, Maud and Mudbriar had mentioned that there was an area in the forest in which the rocks there were not indigenous of the area. But, y’know, rocks, that doesn’t mean shit to you. Whatever Chrysalis had felt, it seemed to be nothing after all.
Speaking of which, her ‘upgrades’ that she wanted for her current home, that being what was on the list, grew and grew as time went on. She wanted it all done at once, her perfect lair, so she could be pleasantly surprised. Indeed, she was that bored. Upon the evening, you had saved two charges to one, visit Chrysalis’s lair, and two, add in everything at once.
What you had turned it into was a luxurious modernized palace, and not even an evil palace. She wanted to live like a human bigshot. Her home had leather seatings, a leather yet royal throne, a grand bed, gangster movies galore, with the occasional horror or sci-fi piece. You gave her a wardrobe with striped suits and fedoras. A study in which she could gather her thoughts. A grand hall. You gave her damn near everything. Hell, even the cave basement she desired was thrown in. And with that, you felt a shooting gallery was in order for her, since she had begun to take an interest in guns. Nothing special, just a tommy gun she could use against dolls of the mane six in an automated gallery.
Chrysalis was cackling as she shot her tommy gun at the Twilight doll, blasting it to bits as it regenerated, only to be blasted again. She was garbed in a green and black striped suit, with a fedora. It fit her, and gave her a different kind of dangerous sexiness. A gangster kind. “Yes! Yes! I knew I could count on you, Anon! I was impressed when you actually fulfilled everything on the list with one charge. But this, this little extra? I could almost seduce you for lustful reasons before I suck you dry. I mean your love by the way. Oh yes, I love this thing! I do notice, however, that the yellow one isn’t among the set. I guess I can’t complain, given your sentimentality.”
“Well, y’know, we’re supposed to be family, remember? I wasn’t going to just let you blow away a Fluttershy doll when you’re supposed to actually like her.” You tell her as you watch her reload the drum of the gun.
“Egh, you still act as if I can’t win. Anon, I’ve become so much more vicious than before. If I can’t show that meddlesome Twilight Sparkle how much of a failure she is within my restrictions, then I’ll simply break her neck and be done with it. Or I could just turn her to chunks with this wonderful gun.” Chrysalis says as she focuses her fire directly into the face of the Twilight doll.
“Yeah, no, that gun doesn’t work outside the gallery, I told you that. And no, I don’t think you have a chance in beating Twilight. Sorry, Chrysalis, but as much as I like you, I’m gonna tell you right now, we got everything covered, as in, you got no chance in even getting close to Twilight.” You tell her, cringing a little at the now headless doll, being blasted so hard it had trouble regenerating. Despite the recoil, Chrysalis was a disgustingly good shot as she held the gun aloft with her magic.
“Don’t be a killjoy, Anon. And don’t assume you know me enough to deem my plans a failure. You’ll have plenty of time to know how truly evil me and my rule can be when you finally join my side after Twilight’s eventual defeat… No… DEATH! MWHAHAHAHAHA!” Chrysalis laughed madly as she just sweeped the Tommy Gun about until it clicked. She immediately stopped laughing and shook the gun as she groaned. “You know, Anon, having to reload this thing is rather redundant when you gave me unlimited bullets anyway.”
“Hey, you wanted the authentic experience, so you gotta deal with the fact humans didn’t have the technology or the magic to have unlimited bullets in their guns.” You sigh, shake your head, and look to Chrysalis with a smirk. “Now, how about a thank you? I basically turned this place into your dream home.”
“Hm, I admit, the little touches you made, such as my glorious portrait over my own bed, is a nice touch. But a thank you? Hmmm…” Chrysalis stopped herself for a moment, placed the tommy gun on the counter, and gave you a warming little smile. “Perhaps after a little drive around the cave. It might put me in just a good enough mood for me to do that for you.” Chrysalis said as she walked past you, humming, as she took a look around the vast expanse of the cave. “I cannot wait to get my hooves behind the wheel again and… Wait.” Chrysalis looked left, then right, then spun around. “Anon, where is my car?”
Er… “At my house? Er, y’know, I. I mean, look, Chrysalis, it wasn’t on the list and WOAH!” Suddenly, you are raised in the air as Chrysalis looks at you with furious anger.
“YOU WHAT?! WHY WOULD I NEED TO PUT SOMETHING THAT IS ALREADY MINE ON THE LIST!? WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD I ASK FOR A BASEMENT LAIR IF NOT TO RIDE MY GLORIOUS MURDER MACHINE AT BLAZING SPEEDS?! YOU WORM! BRING IT TO ME, NOW! I’VE GONE TOO LONG WITHOUT IT!” Chrysalis yelled at she shook you with her magic.
“C-C-Chrysalis! S-Stop! You might h-h-hurt me! G-geez! I-I forgot! I-I can get it for you tomorrow! O-Ok?!” You told her as steadily as you could as she shook you. Cripes, this escalated quickly, and all over her damn car. “R-Relax!”
“Relax?” Chrysalis said, with an eye twitch, as she slowly put you down. She let out a low crazed chuckle as she walked over to the counter of the shooting gallery. “Oh, you’re telling me to relax? Anon, are you saying I need to relax? Are you implying that I need to calm down?” She asked, turning away from you. Fuck man, she was really on edge. Fancy things could never replace her feelings for her hive, never take away that feeling of loneliness. But goddamn, even still, she was going to be dead long before she even enacts her plan at this point.
“Yes, Chrysalis, please. Geez, look, I’ll hang with you all night if you want, I got nothing better to do. Wanna watch a movie? I know a few and GEEZ!” Chrysalis turned back towards you, holding the tommy gun with her magic as her eyes became a malicious black with glowing green eyes.
“I’LL SHOW YOU RELAXED! I’LL RELAX THESE BULLETS INTO YOUR FACE! DIE!” Chrysalis cackled madly as she shot into you… Which did absolutely nothing to you as the bullets phased through you. You were startled yeah, but fuck, you were glad you got the damn spell right, or else you’d be full of holes. Chrysalis didn’t care though, she fired every shot until her gun clicked. And then, when she noticed you were ok, she stopped, her eyes returned to normal, and she let the gun drop to the ground as she groaned heavily and slumped onto her belly. “Wonderful, now I must spend the night without the smell of burning rubber. All because he ‘forgot’.”
“Fuck! Chrysalis! What the hell was that?! ‘Die’?! Are you serious?! You’re willing to kill me over your caSDFGDG” Suddenly, you feel yourself gripped by magic as Chrysalis drags you over to her. She then holds you close with her front hooves as she nuzzles her neck over your head like she was a mother. “C-Chrysalis?”
“Hush, I'm feeding, albeit lightly.” Chrysalis said as she slowly and near erotically licked at the side of your neck. “All this anger has made me hungry. So be a good colt and love me. Or at least lust over me. I don’t really care which right now.”
You began to blush deep as you felt her long moist tongue along her neck. It warmed you, and made you feel tingly all over. “C-Chrysalis, mnnnn…” There was no use arguing this, no use questioning it. So instead, you just ask her one thing before submitting. “Chrysalis, are you ok, really? I’m worried about you, I’m serious about that.”
Chrysalis sighed, and went silent for a moment, as if she was feeling vulnerable. Then, she finally spoke. “Ugh, I cannot believe I am saying this… But yes, I am not ‘ok’. I feel like I'm destined to fail, Anon. Even with my final plans coming to fruition, I feel as if something will happen to ruin everything. Never, and I mean, never, have I felt the anger I have been feeling, the loss that I am going through, that pain of loss that somehow lingers even now. I feel like the universe no longer favors me, and it never will again. I have put all my hopes into my new plan, I have worked to make sure everything is properly in place. And yet, I feel like there is something, just something, that can cause everything to fall apart. Is it so much to ask for a dead purple alicorn? Rulership of the land? Maybe at least the joy of turning the princesses into roadkill or swiss cheese? Oh, Anon, at this point, you’re the only one who understands me. I’m… Actually glad that nothing has changed between us. And I hope, one day, you can ride with me as we shoot our guns at the foolish masses, together.”
Heart warming, dark, but heartwarming, but it was something you have heard before. Although, that was as close to a thank you you were ever going to get. You sigh, and let yourself snuggle up to her leg. “Chrysalis, I just want to be able to be your friend without worrying if you’re going to do something evil or get yourself hurt. You’re fun to be around, you really are. But I’m serious, and I always have to say it, but all this evil and cruelty you want to wreak is getting you nowhere. I just wish you’d stop so we can hang out more without all of the world getting pissed at us about it. Please, when this is all over, just… I dunno, you never listen to me anyway.” You sigh, your sorrow growing, even being felt by Chrysalis herself.
“It really upsets you, doesn’t it? That won’t persuade me… But it is noted, and…” Chrysalis didn’t know how to continue that, she couldn’t let herself continue on that thought. She could already feel herself falling into her rarely felt sentimentality. She stopped herself, and shifted subjects. “And… Ah, yes, what of the disturbance in the forest? I trust you looked into it?”
“H-huh? Oh… Yeah, sorta, I let some of my friends know and they checked it out. Nothing came up, so I’m pretty sure it was nothing.” You say, only half paying attention.
“I see. Not surprising, I came to that conclusion myself after having my own little look around. A waste of time, I don’t even know why I was worried. Only thing I found that was odd was unusually large shards of porcelain.” Chrysalis said as she continued to slowly feed.
“Porcelain? In the middle of the forest? That's weird…” You say, feeling some odd and dark foreboding suddenly creep up on you. But why? Why did you suddenly feel like that?
“Not really, I’m sure some idiotic pegasus pony was delivering a colossal art piece meant for a mountain viewing, or something like that, and dropped it. Probably didn’t bother to clean it up due to being afraid of the forest. Not that I mind, they made perfect stress relievers up until I had blasted every single chunk to dust with my own magic.” Chrysalis suddenly chuckled to herself. “Actually, it would have been funny to push one of those shards onto Twilight Sparkle. They would have smashed her flat.”
Suddenly, your eyes go wide. Shards? Shards that could crush a pony? “Yeah. Er, Chrysalis, how big were these ‘shards’ exactly? Did they look like they belonged to anything?”
“Why does it matter? They’re nothing but dust now.” Chrysalis answers.
“J-just humor me, ok? Please? I just find it weird there’d be shards of porcelain that big just dropped and left here in the forest.” Please god, no, why did it feel like something horrible was forming in your mind?!
“Fine…” Chrysalis said with a groan. “I don’t know why it’s worrying you so much, but, fine. The shards themselves, as I said, were large. Large enough to crush even a smaller dragon should they tip over. They were thick and white, with one of them curving in such a way that it reminded me of what a sink typically looks like on one end. There, are you humor- Anon?” Chrysalis could feel it, something that made her stop. Intense dread.
Shards of porcelain? Like it came from a kitchen sink?! Oh no, oh god no. The Storm King, Ravager, whatever! He couldn’t have, you didn’t, there’s no way. You gulp hard, and ask, with a weak voice. “Chrysalis… D-did you find a corpse? A-a demonic like corpse?”
“Demonic? No, I didn’t see any corpse at all. Why?” Chrysalis smirked as she cuddled you close. “Did you like my idea of crushing Twilight Sp-Anon? What’s wrong with you?” Chrysalis gets up, letting you go, and walks in front of you to check your condition. “Not that I care, but are you alright?”
GODDAMMIT, NO NO NO! IT’S BEEN THREE WEEKS! THREE WEEKS WITH NOTHING DONE ABOUT IT! HOW?! HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?! “C-chrysalis, I need to go home, and…” No, you can’t let her in on it. She can’t hurt anything or anyone but Twilight at the moment. And even then, The Storm Ravager would obliterate her if she went looking for him at any capacity. “Get some rest. I feel really tired from you feeding off of me and all, and it is night time. I promise to have your car sent to you tomorrow, o-ok?”
Chrysalis wondered if she should question you, try to find out what was on your mind. But then she worried that if she got you too riled up, you’d forget the car over whatever was bothering you. “Alright, I had my fill. You may go.”
“T-thank you, I’ll see you tomorrow and-” But Chrysalis brings her hoof to your lips, and shushes you soothingly.
“Just go, before I suddenly feel like asking what’s wrong. There’s water you can use upstairs, just don’t make a mess.” Chrysalis tells you.
“R-right, thanks. S-seeya, Chrysalis.” You say as you nearly trip yourself waving to her. You went for the steps to return back to the main hall of her home. Chrysalis watched you go up, but didn’t follow, and didn’t say another word. And yet, for some reason… She felt worried about you, enough that she almost stopped you to give you that ‘thank you’. But no, she wouldn’t let herself go that far. She figured if you were worried about the shards, then you were probably just being an idiot.
The morning came, and you wasted no time preparing your own investigation in the Everfree Forest. You hoped you were wrong, you hoped it was nothing. But you couldn’t leave anything to chance and… Oh, goddammit! You didn’t even ask Chrysalis where the spot with the porcelain even was!
Ok, ok, first things first. You drop by at Chrysalis’s basement, teleporting the car with you. You’d simply ask her where she saw the porcelain and be on your way. But of course, nothing was simple with ‘Chrysalis’. She wouldn’t divulge the information until you had a ride with her, stating she wanted to make sure her speedster was exactly how she remembered it. It was, and you were still sure you’d be losing your life due to the crazy antics of her driving, from loop de loops to driving along the walls. Fucking crazy, but it put her in a surprisingly good mood. She showed you on your map that the porcelain wasn’t too far from her home, and surprisingly enough, left you to your own devices without asking for anything more. Seems she was busy with some of her ‘evil’ planning and didn’t want to be disturbed further. Although, you could have sworn she muttered a ‘Be careful’ before you left. But upon asking, she told you she said ‘paranoid loser’. Huh…
In any case, you went back to Ponyville to recruit the only pony who could help you. The only one with the investigative skills you needed to make sure you didn’t miss anything. A mare who had not only the experience needed, but was also a mare you could trust not to spill the beans. A mare, ironically enough, that was typically a two for one deal. But for this mission, it had to be just you and her. The forest was too dangerous for more carefree ponies.
“I still can’t believe this. Anon, out of everything you have ever done, how could you have let this happen?! I’m telling you, I have to report this to Princess Celestia once we finish this investigation.” Bonbon said to you as she scanned the area around her. You all were deep in the forest, and she had to keep her wits about her in case anything tried to attack.
“Bonbon, c’mon, please don’t. Please? We need to keep this a secret, ok? I can handle the Storm Ravager if he shows up, alright? If Celestia finds out about this, she won’t trust me to handle Chrysalis.” Dammit, it was a mistake, it was a mistake to ask Bonbon! You thought she’d be cool about it and keep things a secret. If the Storm Ravager was about, you just needed to know where he was so you could take care of him. Problem solved.
“Can you? You said you had unlimited magic when you fought him, and if your guess is correct, and he’s here in the forest, then it means you didn’t really stop him at all. It’s basic protocol, Anon. If the situation gets out of hand, you get the princesses. And you wouldn’t have gotten me if it wasn’t serious. I’m sorry, but I have to do what I have to do.” Bonbon said, her tone serious as she marched through the bushes, and took care not to get close to anything that might be something else.
“Actually, Bonbon, wouldn’t we be condemning some of Anon’s friends if we let the princesses know?” Said a voice from behind.
Both you and Bonbon turn around, and then gasp to see Lyra behind the both you, smiling and then waving to the both of you as happily as can be.
“L-Lyra?! What are you doing here?! Don’t you realize how dangerous the forest is?! And, wait… How did you follow us without me even noticing?” Bonbon asked, utterly blown away as to how she didn’t notice Lyra’s presence.
Lyra giggled and shrugged. “Well, y’know, you and Anon were so deep into your conversations that I guess you guys didn’t notice me following. Storm Ravager, huh? That does sound pretty bad, but, it might be bad to mention it to the princesses too.”
Welp, that confirms it, there really is no way these two can be separated. It’s like magic, how did you not notice her?! And even then, she actually agrees with you? But wait, what did she mean by ‘condemning your friends’? “Y-yeah, it is pretty bad. But Lyra, what do you mean? The whole condemning thing.” You were still a little shocked by her sudden appearance.
“Yeah, you mentioned that mean guy, Neighsay, right?” Lyra was talking about a visit you had with her and Bonbon a few days prior to even knowing this whole “Porcelain” bullshit. “He hates your new friends, and yet he trusts you a lot. So it got me thinking, if he suddenly found out Chrysalis was your friend, then he might do something to Twilight’s school since he would figure your reports would be all pegasi feathers.”
FUCK! SHE’S RIGHT! “Bonbon, s-she’s right! Neighsay has it out for everypony that isn’t a pony. If he finds out about this, he’ll ruin Twilight’s school, he’ll ruin my friends! They’re really good guys, Bonbon... “ You look up at her with a pout, an adorable pout that already grabs at Lyra’s heartstrings.
“Awwww…” Lyra picks you up with her magic and holds you towards Bonbon as she makes her own pout at her. “Bonbon, please? I mean, unless it’s super super dangerous, we don’t need to tell anypony, right? You and Anon can take down that guy if he shows his ugly face. So c’mon, let’s not make anycreature sad, ok?”
Bonbon’s eye twitched as she looked towards the two of you. She had to tell Celestia… She had to… But if she did…
Bonbon began to tense, her mind going ten million miles a second. But looking at Lyra, more than you even, she finally seemed to back down, and let out a sigh. “You both are killing me, you know that? Fine…” Bonbon rolls her eyes. “But if things do get bad, I’m at least letting Princess Twilight know. That way she can decide how to do things without jeopardizing her students or POSSIBLY your friendship with Chrysalis.” Bonbon then noticed you and Lyra about to cheer, and raised her hoof quickly. “And no celebrating, we’re in dangerous territory and we’re already in the thick of things. With that said, Anon, how far are we from the destination?”
“Oh, yeah, right, er...” You pulled out your map, and took a look. “Not far actually, should be right past those trees.”
“Ok, good. Lyra, stay closHyah!?” Lyra immediately snuggled up to Bonbon’s side, startling her.
“Aye aye, captain!” Lyra said with an adorable cheer.
Bonbon sighed, smirking just a little as she continued forward. “Didn’t have to be that close, but fine, it’s alright, just remember this is a serious mission, ok?”
“I know.” Lyra said with a giggle. “Trust me, I’ll be keeping an eye out for anything suspicious.”
Bonbon couldn’t help but smile at Lyra’s adorably endearing nature. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Bonbon said as she continued forward, Lyra beside her and you behind. Indeed, it didn’t take long to find a small forest clearing deep within the woods. Despite the area being open, it was also dense with trees, bushes, and weird and spooky looking plants. Bonbon didn’t seem worried by it. In fact, she already spots something unusual. She spots large indents in the ground, as if something was shoved straight through it. “And what do we have here? These holes…”
“What about them, Bonbon?” Lyra asked, curious as she looked upon her friend getting closer to one of the jagged shaped holes in the ground.
“Large, somewhat deep, some rectangular in nature. You’d think somepony dug in these spots, or maybe something else. But in truth, the soil around these holes…” Bonbon took an even closer look, and slid around the surrounding dirt with her hoof. “It doesn’t match with the rest of the forest ground. And these rocks… Anon was right about what Maud said, they clearly don’t belong in the area either.” Bonbon said as she found a good sized rock. She shoved it back and forth, taking a close look at it. “No moss, no foliage from the forest, nothing. These rocks are recent to the area. Anon, you said you fought the Storm King and threw a huge kitchen sink at him. How big was it exactly?”
“Massive, like, super huge. Chrysalis also said she was shooting the ‘pieces of porcelain’ and blasting them to dust, which is why they aren't here. I was thinking, maybe, that something happened to cause the Storm King, or, as he calls himself now, Storm Ravager, to appear here. Because from what it looks like, the pieces of the kitchen sink totally did.” You step up to one of the holes closely, and lean in on one that was wide enough to actually fit your body twice over. “I don’t even see the dust though, I guess Chrysalis was thorough.”
“Hmmm, no, or else there’d still be some residue. It’s weird, it’s almost as if it disappeared. Maybe, if it did appear here, that it then went somewhere else. It’s created by chaos magic, right? It seems plausible to me…” Bonbon takes a closer look at the ground, and begins to look around the half dozen holes along the ground. "Because there is no porcelain dust, or any indication the Storm Whatever was ever here.”
Is that possible? Did he and the sink appear here? Then end up somewhere else? “Then, well, there’s nothing to worry about, right? Because if he showed up anywhere else, we’d have heard about it by now, right?” Like, no way that guy would be able to resist tearing up wherever he appeared at. And since Equestria didn’t seem to be in danger from anything, then it wasn’t your problem.
“Maybe…” Bonbon said as she took off her saddle bag and opened it up as she looked through the contents of it. She then took out a small foldable table, and some vials with odd colored liquids in them. “I want to test the soil, see how much magic residue might be on it. You might be right, and if that’s the case, I want to see how magically affected this area is and see if it could be of any danger to Ponyville.”
“Wow, Bonbon, I didn’t know you were into science stuff. That’s something you never told me.” Lyra said as she just stared on, impressed by it all.
“I’m not, really. This is just a basic test everypony in the field knows how to do. Helps us track and assess threats from magical creatures. I’m just using it to see if the soil here has any odd magical readings. If its teleporting things around, then it’ll nee-” But Bonbon stops herself as she mixed a concoction and carefully dropped a pebble into the vial. “Hrn? What in the…?” Was she reacting to something? Nothing seemed to happen. But her tone...
Oh god, that sounds bad. “W-what is it, Bonbon?”
“What isn’t it is more like it.” Bonbon gently shakes the vial, then scoops up a little soil, dumping into the vial to test it more directly. “No reaction.” Bonbon notes as she stares at the unmoving liquid. “There’s zero magic in the soil. Nothing in the rocks either. I’d say this is normal, but even a leaf from a bush this deep into the forest would have caused something. The Everfree Forest is very magical in and of itself, so I just don’t get it. it’s as if something sucked the magic from the area dry. Or, not the area, just everything that came from the chaos realm. Anon, you said the Storm Ravager was even more powerful than he was when you fought him back in Canterlot. Could he absorb chaos magic?”
“No, actually. He couldn’t really use it either, at least not in a chaotic sense.” Oh god, did he suddenly gain the ability to absorb magic? He could only really block it, albeit easily, back then during your first encounter with him way back when he was ‘The Storm King’. “Y-you don’t think it's part of a new power he has, do you?” Shit! Bonbon was going to tell the princesses for sure now!
“I don’t know, and I can’t even begin to guess without a sample from him. A hair, a piece of his armor, skin, a bone, something” Bonbon stepped away from her little chemical set and began to look around the area. “It’s a small chance, given the forest is always shifting, but if this is where he ended up, then there has to be a sample lying around. Everypony, just take a look around and don’t touch anything. Don’t stray too far either, we need to stick together in case he or any other creature shows up.” Even as Bonbon said that, she kept her ears straight up and her eyes constantly moving. So far, you all had gotten lucky with no encounters, but with the Storm Ravager skulking about… Well.
In any case, Bonbon began to investigate the holes again, while you just put your face to the ground and slowly walked around in a circle. You had to find something, anything! You had a charge you could use, but if you were attacked after using it, you’d be shit out of luck.
As for Lyra, she simply did a cute little salute to Bonbon and began her own little search, humming to herself lowly while checking trees and bushes, using her horn to produce a light to make it easier to spot anything. Though, for her, she does find something in quite a short amount of time… Or she smells something anyway. “Hey, guys, I think I found something smelly in these bushes over here.”
“Smelly? Lyra! I said to be careful! Lots of creatures have funky smells, but that doesn’t mean they're not dangerous! Back off from there, immediately!” Bonbon said as she jumped to Lyra’s side, ready to defend her at all cost.
“Bonbon, c’mon, I’m not gonna get hurt.” Lyra said with a giggle as she reached her head into the bushes, looked about for a moment, and found the source of the smell. When she brings her head back in, she has an old basket of rotten apple cores in her mouth. “See? It’s just apples.” she says in a mumbling tone before putting the basket down and waving her hoof towards her nose. “Really smelly apples, who would leave these out here?”
Wut? “A basket of eaten apples? What was somepony doing way out here? Geez, I didn’t know ponies picnic this far into the forest. I thought this place was dangerous?” Like, seriously, what is a basket doing out here?
“I… Don’t know. It is, and… Nopony would come out this far for a picnic. What in the wide world of Equestria? No, there’s no way anypony would.” Bonbon said, astonished as she looked upon the basket, too weirded out to be bothered by the smell as she looked upon the basket and apple cores. “But somepony did. These apples were eaten by somepony, and there’s no real damage to the basket aside from some tears. This had to be recent, given how much these cores have rotted through. I’d say about two weeks ago, maybe a bit more. It’s possible a pegasus pony may have stopped here to eat, maybe left the basket in a hurry.”
“That makes sense, I guess. Nopony would just travel through the forest and put themselves in danger for some apples. Had to be a pegasus pony.” You nod to yourself, agreeing with Bonbon.
“I’m not so sure…” Said Lyra.
“Why do you think that, Lyra?” Bonbon asked as she continued to investigate the basket.
“Because what about these two baskets then?” Lyra said, as she placed down a basket next to another.
WUT?! “What?! Why are there two more baskets?!” And even worse, the two also had apple cores in them, of varying rot. There’s no way a pegasus pony would come down on the same spot three times to eat apples here. But then, why were they here at all?!
“Beats me. Maybe pegasi really like this spot? If they do though, they’re probably crazy.” Lyra commented as she looked around. Indeed, this being a darker and spookier part of the woods, with twisted trees and weird looking plants, you’d have to be nuts to eat casually here. "Like, they'd have to be crazy right? It looks like even the trees would eat you here."
“They’d have to be. But even then, why not take the baskets with them? Who just leaves baskets lying around?” You say as you begin to take a closer look at one of them. Even from where you were looking at, it was clear that these two baskets, despite the small damage they incurred, were more recent, with the one you were looking at having apples that have rotted away for what… three days maybe? “The hell? Bonbon, look at these apple cores, they look a lot more recent. There’s no way, right? There’s no way somepony would just come here multiple times just to eat some apples, right?”
“Not likely. And if they have, then what reason do they have to leave the baskets behind? They could just reuse them instead of wasting them. It’s as if… They were leaving them behind for somepony else… Hmmm.” Bonbon began to take a closer look at the baskets, now fully intrigued by their very existence and purpose.
You yourself began to ponder on the existence of the baskets. Why were they here? This is where the Storm Ravager had to be, and yet, so conveniently, you ended up finding baskets instead. “What if there was some delivery of apples, and the Storm Ravager attacked the delivery pony?”
“No, as you noted, this basket’s apples have much less rot than the others. There were probably more baskets at one point… Maybe.” Bonbon said as she narrowed her eyes, catching something odd. “Lyra, can you shine some of your magic on this spot?” Bonbon asked as she pointed at a gnarled end of the basket.
“Sure thing!” Lyra said as her horn began to glow yellow, shining its light close to where Bonbon pointed. “What is it, Bonbon, did you find something?”
“I did… Anon, you mentioned your horn can perform basic telekinesis and barrier magic, right? Look here.” Bonbon pointed her hoof to the spot. And to your surprise, you see some long white hairs caught in between the broken weave of the basket’s end. “I need you to carefully pluck these out. Lyra, keep them well lit so Anon can get them.”
W-white hairs?! Oh no… OH NO! The Storm Ravager had white hair. D-did he kill a pony for apples? No, no, he couldn’t have. As was already noted, these baskets and apples are days apart in quality from each other. So... Dammit, what could it mean?!
You put on your horn and carefully pluck the hairs out. “These hairs… They’re the Storm Ravager’s. I can tell…” You said as you looked at the hairs more closely. It made sense they’d be in this location, but... “But it just doesn’t make sense. What is with the baskets? Why did he have them?”
“It really is almost as if somepony was bringing him food to eat, right? You don’t think it was Chrysalis, do you, Anon? She did guess something happened, so, maybe she already knew? Maybe this is part of her plan to get Princess Twilight. I-I don’t mean that as a bad thing, e-even though it’s a bad thing. I mean.” Lyra sighed, it made her feel sad at the possibility that you were led away from the town so Chrysalis could make her move. “Er… Mnnnn.”
“No, no, it’s not that. I mean, Chrysalis might try to do that, but not with the help of the Storm King or anycreature she’d have to share Equestria with. And given it’s the Storm King, I figure even she knows she can’t trust him. But then… Still, these baskets. And… Wait.” Why did he have to survive on apples? Ok, maybe he had to recover from the fact a giant sink landed on him. But for weeks? With that body and form, it should have taken a few days at most. “Bonbon, these baskets are definitely from weeks apart, right?”
“That’s what we deduced. Why?” Bonbon asked. “Did you figure out what they mean, Anon?”
“No, I didn’t. But I know with all that chaotic power, there’s no way his body would take that long to heal. If he has been sitting around eating apples, then there has to be a reason why. And that reason?... I mean, I don’t know, but we have to figure out why!” Why? Why is he taking his time? Where did he get the apples? Was he biding his time?
“Well, place the hairs on my table. I want to see how much magic we might be dealing with here. If he’s around, and he’s at full power, then this is something we have to report to Princess Twilight.” Bonbon told you as she pointed to her table.
Ngh… “But, c’m-” But she interrupts you right there.
“We already agreed, Anon. We’ll let Princess Twilight decide what happens next.” Bonbon said, sterner than before.
“But Bonbon, what if he’s like, super weak and stuff? Then we can just pummel him ourselves, right? That way, the day is saved and nothing gets messed up!” Lyra suggests, optimistically so. "Because, y'know, Twilight might still mess up the whole Chrysalis thing."
"Sorry, Lyra." Bonbon shook her head “If what Anon said is any indication, that isn’t very likely. We don’t even know where he is right now, anyway. But, while I perform my tests, I need you both to keep a look out. Anon, if anything happens, use your magic to get us out of here, ok?
“Y-yeah, but Bonb-” But she cuts you off again, in a way that even makes Lyra’s ears fold as she feels bad for you.
“No buts. We’ll figure out how we’ll proceed after these tests. Now let me do my work.” Bonbon said as she took the white hairs, and began her testing.
You and Lyra sat there, tense, as Bonbon went to work testing the hairs. She was deliberate with every movement, mixing a few liquids together before very slowly dumping the hairs into a vial of green liquid. This was it, it was going to explode, wasn’t it? You ducked your head, ready for some sort of explosive reaction.
But as you heard Bonbon murmur to herself, you realized there was no explosion. You slowly remove your hooves from the top of your head and slowly stand as you peer over at Bonbon. She seemed frustrated as she continued to slowly mix some chemicals. Lyra, who just stood there, not knowing what to expect, still had to ask what was the matter since Bonbon seemed tense. “Bonbon, you ok? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, and that’s exactly what’s wrong. Are we sure this belongs to the Storm Ravager? There’s barely a reaction. I even tried some other chemicals to test for it being an insect or reptile and I’m getting nothing from that at all. If that’s the case, then… I don’t even know. Anon, are you sure the porcelain came from you?” Bonbon asked.
“Yeah, it did. And from everything Chrysalis told me, it has to be from the kitchen sink I dropped on the guy. The rocks and dirt probably came from the planetoid it came from too. And, well, who else could the hairs belong to? Animals would have just torn through the baskets and apples right? That has to belong to him and-” Wait...WAIT. You stop yourself. Maybe there was an explanation, there was, wasn’t there? Yes, it had to be that! “And… It’s possible that he may have lost all his magical power, which explains why he hasn’t run amok yet! Ha! Yes! It makes sense!”
Lyra and Bonbon just watched as you began to laugh maniacally, feeling creeped out by it all. But how could you not laugh? It explains everything, doesn’t it? The XX-Captain losing his chaotic form, and the power that went with it. It happened for a reason, right? You didn’t know what that reason was, but it seems it happened to the Storm Ravager as well. That explains why Discord couldn’t find him! BWHAHAHAHAHA! YOU’RE IN THE CLEAR!
“E-er, Anon, are you ok?” Lyra asked, but you just didn’t respond, caught within your own mad cackles. Lyra slowly backs up to Bonbon and whispers to her. “Uh, is he ok? He didn’t break, did he?”
“No, more like there’s something he isn’t telling us. Anon!” Bonbon yelled out as she stomped her hoof hard to the ground to grab your attention.
“Wha, huh? O-oh, sorry… Er, I was just thinking of something funny.” You say with a sheepish chuckle as you snap out of your victorious haze.
“Uh huh, sure. So, wanna explain what you meant by him losing his power? How are you so sure that happened?” Bonbon asked. And yet, despite asking this, she had this feeling that you definitely knew something that confirmed what you said.
“Oh, uh. It’s something I’ve observed before. Chaos magic just seems to have an effect to those not really vested in it, just jumps right out of them.” You explain. That wasn’t the truth, or wholly the truth, as at least Discord’s magic would eventually wear off if not kept in check. But the transformations were caused by a chaotic force not done by him, which you thought were permanent until the XX-Captain changed back to his former changeling self. The only question is why did that happen? It only really did after fusing him with the Storm Ravager. But why? And who cares! The important thing is he wasn’t a threat! “But hey, who cares? The guy is now stupid weak! Anypony can take him now, which means…” You wink towards Bonbon and point your hoof at her “You know.”
“Uh, no, we’re not done here yet. Until we have confirmed that he can be easily dealt with, I’m still going to give my findings to Princess Twilight.” Bonbon tells you, stern as ever.
“Oh, come on, Bonbon. If the guy isn’t a threat then why is there a reason to worry?” Lyra asked, just wanting the situation to be good for everyone involved.
“We’re talking about a guy who conquered and toppled kingdoms even before he transformed. It’s a big risk to just let him roam free when we know he can still do some damage.” Bonbon explains.
“Yeah, but is he doing that though? Doesn’t look like there are any baskets for today, or yesterday, or even a few days before. I think anyway, they could have rotted differently. But still, isn’t there a possibility he’s already gone? Maybe somepony arrested him already or something.” Lyra suggested.
Which made you think for a moment… Hmmmm… “Well, if the baskets are here, then he couldn’t have gone far. I mean, we have to be right on top of where he was staying for the baskets to be here, right? Maybe he got eaten, or pummeled to dust, or something. I say we check things out a little more, huh? Y’know, to make sure?” Or more, you had to hope to find some clue as to whether he was eaten or where his location was. Because if you can deal with him yourself, you’d have no trouble using your last charge to decimate him.
“I mean, I was already going to do that. But… Thinking about it, he doesn’t have an army anymore. If his current hideaway is here, and he’s still using it, then we should have no trouble taking him down between the three of us. My fighting skill is up to snuff, and with Lyra supplementing your magic, I highly doubt we’d lose. I suppose I could pull a few strings afterwards to have his arrest go as smoothly and quietly as possible.” Bonbon said as she rubbed at her chin, pondering on it.
“You’d do that for me, Bonbon, really?” You said, your tail wagging as your eyes lit up.
“Only if we can pull it off. Right now, we have to find out where he’s-” But before Bonbon can finish, Lyra makes a call out.
“Foooooooound it!” Lyra cheers in a sing song way, her head in the bushes from where she found the first basket.
“...I’m not even surprised anymore.” Bonbon said, at first astonished, until a warming smile appeared across her face, “But I guess I don’t need to be, given how amazing you are, Lyra.”
“Awww, Bonbon, I’m not that amazing. Well, maybe a little, but for this? Naaah, I just figured looking a little deeper into these bushes might be a good idea. I mean, it's where the baskets were, so, y’know.” Lyra said with a slight blush, rubbing the side of her right foreleg with the other.
“But what exactly did you find, Lyra?” You asked. How did she know she found it? What was in the bushes?
“Oh! There’s a tree behind the bush, see? And I think somecreature hollowed it out and made it into a hiding spot, I think I also saw some stuff there too!” Lyra said, chuckling a little nervously, feeling just a tiny bit embarrassed at you seeing such affection between her and Bonbon.
“Well, that’s as good a lead as any. Alright, I’ll give it a closer look. You two keep an eye out in case he shows up, ok?” Bonbon asked as she already began to go into the bushes, going in deeper to investigate the tree.
So close, so damn close. You were still tense, there had to be a way to make sure Bonbon is willing to keep everything under wraps with-G-guh! Suddenly, Lyra sat behind you as she rested her head on top of yours. She was still keeping an eye out, but also felt the need to be cute with you. “Soooooooo, Anon, I’m pretty scared right now. Are you going to stay super duper close to me and protect me?” She then gently blows into your ear. “You’re gonna do that, right?”
Your face turned red as you began to blush, you didn’t even have to look at her, just her actions were heating you up. “U-ummm, I-I mean…”
“Gaha! You’re so easy to tease, Anon! Everytime!” Lyra giggled as she raised her head and gave you a pat. “Or maybe I’m just that beautiful of a mare. That’s good though.” Lyra looks towards the bushes, longingly. “Makes me feel like I’m good enough.”
Hm? What did she mean by that? “Lyra? Are you alright? What do you mean by making you feel like you’re good enough?”
“Oh? Oh, nothing, nothing, haha!” Lyra laughed nervously as she gave you another pet “Just talking to my-GYAH!” Suddenly, there was an intense yell coming from the bushes. “Bonbon! Bonbon! Are you ok?!”
“Y-yeah! I just… Don’t come into the bushes, ok? I found something that’s really off putting.” Bonbon said with a shaky voice.
“Off putting? Bonbon, what did you find in there? Can I come look?” You ask. Maybe Lyra couldn’t handle it, but given the world you’re in, you certainly could.
“Er… I don’t know if either of you should. It’s kind of… Gruesome.” Bonbon said. What the hell did she mean by that? What got her so spooked?
“Bonbon, it can’t be that bad, how gruesome can it possibly be? What, is it bug guts or more rotten apples?” Lyra asked, curious, wanting to make sure her friend was ok.
“Um… Look, let’s just say I found the Storm Ravager’s hiding spot. But it’s been raided, there are definite signs of a struggle, torn up baskets, and er…” Bonbon stopped herself, she had no idea how she could just plainly say that last part.
“Bonbon, I’m gonna come in there, ok? Whatever it is, I can handle it. Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of gross stuff.” You tell her as you begin to step through the bushes.
“Me too! I mean, not the gross stuff part, just wanting to see if you’re ‘ok’ part. Here I come!” Lyra said as she stepped in from behind.
“No! Don’t! I don’t think you’re bo-GYAAH!” Bonbon is already startled, nearly falling back as Lyra lets out her own shrill scream upon entering and immediately seeing what got Bonbon so spooked..
Here you were, in the hollowed out hidey hole of the Storm Ravager. There really wasn’t much to it. Seems he was using a cape with his insignia on it as a carpet, although it has been torn to shreds. Rotten apples utterly devoured, leaving very little left. Scratch and claw marks all over the walls. And finally… “Holy geez! Is that… An arm?!” Indeed, in the center of the tiny hideout was the rotting right arm of the Storm Ravager.
“Lyra! Lyra!” Bonbon rushed up and held Lyra’s mouth shut to keep her from making too much noise. “Quiet, ok?! Whatever it is that attacked here, we don’t want it to come back, ok? Alright?” Lyra nodded her head slowly as Bonbon slowly removed her hooves. “Thank you. A-and yeah, Anon, that’s… That’s an arm.”
It’s an arm. It’s HIS arm! YES! HE’S FUCKING DEAD! Holy shit! What luck! Whatever didn’t get a chance to eat him back in the chaos dimension, something in the forest certainly did! “Haha! That’s his arm! I can tell! It’s over! Wow, hah, I guess we don’t need to tell anypony now, huh?”
Lyra and Bonbon looked at each other. To them, this was the darkest you ever acted in front of them. Bonbon, as curious as she was shocked, comes up to ask “Uh, Anon, you know this is a bad thing, right? He lost his life.”
Oh no… Pony sentimentality. Considering Bonbon was an agent of… Whatever she was an agent of, retired or otherwise, she should know that you never feel sorry for a villain. “And? Look, I’ll be straight up honest with the both of you. The guy was evil, was gonna kill my aunt, was gonna turn Canterlot into a crater, and he loved every second of it. He was a tyrant that had zero love in his heart. And before you mention Chrysalis, in her defense, the fact changelings have a loving form proves there’s a whole other side of her we haven’t seen yet.”
“I… Ok, I can understand your feelings on that. But he still should be able to face trial, and then face whatever punishment the princesses would have for him. No one deserves to go out like this.” Bonbon tells you, trying to live up to some moral code.
“Ok, hold on. Let me ask you this, er, Lyra. Let’s say this guy just eviscerated Bonbon, I mean, totally gutted her while you were forced to watch, no way to save her. Wouldn’t you want to see him gone?” A harsh question and terrible visuals, but you were curious to see how she’d react to it. You couldn’t ask this question to Bonbon, as she seemed less reliant on emotion than Lyra in these kinds of situations.
Lyra’s eye twitched for a moment, she then felt a heaviness to her as she put a hoof to her heart, she seemed unsure. “I… I don’t think that’d ever happen.”
“And if it did? Would you honestly care to capture him and have the princesses deal with him? I mean, he just used Bonbon’s intestines as a necklace.” C’mon, Lyra, really? Just say it, don’t hold back.
Lyra’s eyes went wide. Such visuals, it clearly made her upset. “No! No! I… Grrr, I wouldn’t let him! I’d t-tear him apart first! I-” But before Lyra could go any further, Bonbon raises her hoof at her, then looks at you, annoyed and a tad angered.
“Ok! You got your point across! It’s not something we Equestrians are really used to, it’s definitely not something we think about.” Bonbon sighed, and made her own admittance. “But if you want to go that far, and if it was happening to Lyra instead of me. Well, nopony would probably hear about what I’d do.”
“Bonbon…” Lyra looked to her, with shimmering tearful eyes.
“Relax, Lyra. It’s fine, alright? L-let’s just focus on wrapping up this investigation. Which, actually, there is an oddity about this arm.” Bonbon said as she gently and carefully rolled the arm over.
“What’s that? Looks like clear cut evidence that whatever ate him chomped through his arm and left it here.” You said, confident that the Storm Ravager simply got obliterated.
“Yeah… Except this arm has been rotting away for weeks. Not only that, but aside from said rot, there were no injuries, cuts, or bites to it at all. It’s almost as if he detached his arm from his body and never put it back on.” Bonbon said as she looked a little closer at it. “It’s like he kept it around as a memento. Or maybe, somepony else found his arm, and his body never escaped the chaos realm.”
“Well, that last part doesn’t make sense. Who would honestly do that?” Lyra asked as she slowly came out of her emotional haze.
“I… Don’t know. His few loyal soldiers were driven out of Equestria, and even then, there’s no sign any of them were in this hole. In fact, there’s no indication anypony other than the Storm Ravager lived here. It’s so bizarre. Anon, you know more about his mutation then we do, any thoughts?” Bonbon asked you.
The arm, it was his right one, right? The one that fused with the staff after he stabbed the wings Discord had given you. Is it possible that when he changed back, that his arm did too? If it did, it seemed it didn’t want to stay attached to his body. But then, what about the staff? Was it gone? It certainly wasn’t in here. Hm, given the struggle, it could be that whatever creature attacked and ate the Storm Ravager ate the staff too, if the staff ever came back to existence. “It’s like I mentioned before, he seemed to have changed back to normal. I guess his arm was so screwed up from the transformation that it didn’t reattach to his body. Maybe he really did keep it as a memento?”
“That’s so weird. But I guess it explains why the animal didn’t eat the arm. It got all gross and stuff.” Lyra said as she stuck her tongue out, making a groan at how nasty the arm looked.
“Possible… If a little sad. Well, I guess the investigation is nearly over. I’m guessing whatever did all this damage snuck up on the guy when he was sleeping. Although, that does leave the mystery of the apples. There were no samples to take from any of them. Is it possible he was getting them all himself? The apple orchard is right outside the forest, even if it is a good distance from this particular spot. Hard to imagine the Timberwolves even leaving him alone with how much travelling he’d have to do.” Bonbon said as she pondered.
“And why did he need so many baskets? Maybe he just stole baskets of apples instead of just taking the apples himself.” Lyra said as she herself thought about it.
You didn’t really care, you had your victory. “Bah, guy probably did that. Whatever, case closed, he’s gone. This means nopony has to know about this, right?”
“Anon, the case isn’t fully closed until we find out about the apples.” Bonbon reminded you.
“I mean, look, I can ask the Apple family myself. Keep it discreet, ask if anything odd had been happening around the farm or if anything was stolen. If anypony is gonna know, it’s going to be Applejack… Or Scrappy, I guess, he’d pick up on that real fast.” C’mon, Bonbon, forget about it. It’s over, you won! You can forget this ever happened and get on with your life.
“Can I actually trust you to do that? Considering this whole thing is your fault, I’m not so sure.” Bonbon replies.
“Look… Ok, I get it, I screwed up. But asking isn’t gonna be too hard, ok? I’ll even tell you everything I’m told. Alright?” That should settle things.
“Yeah, but, what if none of the Apples know anything? If that happens, wouldn’t we still have a mystery on our hooves?” Lyra added, thinking deeper into it as well.
“We would. But as it stands, the evidence we have here is that the Storm Ravager was getting the apples himself. That, or whoever was bringing him the apples knew ahead of time to not leave any evidence on them.” Bonbon said, still pondering.
“Yeah… But, who would do that? They’d have to assume somepony would find the Storm Ravager and investigate the baskets. My bet is he was getting them himself. Probably screwed up and got caught by whatever ate him. Look at the rotten apple cores, his arm, any animal with a good sniffer is gonna find him easily. He wasn’t being careful and it was only a matter of time.” That, right there, was probably the best theory. Thought up by you of course. As tropey as it could be that he might be alive, you also knew that the fucking arm was gruesome. And if you can find something not age appropriate in this forest, then he probably had a not age appropriate death.
“That… Is also possible.” Bonbon said, reluctantly agreeing with you.
“Then until something new comes up, can we just please PLEASE not tell anypony about it, please? It’s over, he’s gone, and he isn’t a threat. There’s no reason to let Twilight know.” Come on, she pretty much said as much. No threat, no need to let anyone know. Fluttershy already knew what you had done so far, she didn’t need to know you essentially led the guy to a horrible end.
“I… Alright, alright. Given the evidence, what we know, and the fact the threat is neutralized, I guess we can keep this all to ourselves… For now. But Anon, you have to be more responsible. I shouldn’t have to tell you that your situation with Chrysalis should be taken seriously, right?” Bonbon said, trying to lecture you, to make you understand the weight of your actions.
“Trust me, I know, and I understand. She’s still kicking, right? It means she hasn't hurt anypony. All I have to do is stop whatever plan she enacts and it's a done deal.” You tell her, confidence in your voice.
“And if she decides to continue her ways anyway? To be evil?” Bonbon asks.
Your ears suddenly fold and lower as you flinch from her question. “...I-I’ll… I’ll send her to Tartarus. I know… Like I said, I got this…” You said in a much less enthused, more hurt manner.
“Awww… Anon, I know everything's gonna be alright.” Lyra said to you in a motherly tone, giving you a bright smile.
“And yet, it might not. But…” Bonbon let out a sigh, and showed a bit of a smile herself. “I’ll be hoping for it to happen.”
“Yeah, me too…” You say, still downtrodden. B-but hey, victory for you anyway, right? This meant Chrysalis was your sole focus now.
With everything done, you use your last charge to send yourself and your party back to Ponyville. Perhaps the case of the apples will never be solved, perhaps it really didn’t matter. And really, who cares? You had some basking to do in not only your relationship, but also from your new hippogriff friend. All that should certainly cheer you up.
You reappear near the fountain at town square. The usual comfortable spot and exit of your portal door. Upon appearing, you looked around for Cozy, as she seemed to usually be around, waiting for you. No sign of her though, not that you cared at the moment, you were in the damned clear. “Let’ssss see, what to do? What toooo do.” You pondered to yourself. You were free, there was nothing chaotic going about, and… Huh, you did have the choices of just visiting your friends… Or bowling, the bowling alley had been repaired at this point. Or you could visit Diamond Tiara, you could use some relaxing do-
“Anon? What are you doing?” Said a gentle voice from your side.
“Guh?! Gyah! Oh…” It was Ocellus? What… What was she doing here? “Ocellus, what’s up?”
“Well, I was doing some exercises Counselor Starlight gave me, for uh, confidence. Then I noticed you just standing there. Are you up to something?” Ocellus asked, rather bluntly.
“Yikes, sheesh. Is that your way of saying ‘What’s up’?” Ocellus was adorable, but ever since she got in your face about your attitude and Chrysalis, she always seems to assume you’re up to no good, which made her less attractive in your eyes, but only slightly. Not important to note, but cute is cute.
“No, I’m asking if you’re up to anything. And no, I don’t mean related to… Her. You just seem to be really really relieved about something.” Ocellus stated, eyeing you closely for any shifty movements.
“Ocellus, I’m just having a good day. Are you really going to get on my case over having a good day?” Fuck man, she’s nosy as all hell. You know she means well, but she seems to either want to protect you or call you out. you get this feeling that she thinks your actions are idiotic or something.
Given Ocellus could tell you were in a very positive mood, she retracted herself upon realizing maybe she greeted you in a way she shouldn’t have. “S-sorry, I… No, you’re right, that was wrong of me. I guess I’ve been a little jumpy since it’s been obvious when you visit, you know…” Ocellus sighed. “I can’t even say her name anymore. I still don’t know how you can just let her do what she wants, Anon.”
“We’ve been over this, Ocellus. Geez, you need to chill, ok? My marefriend is ok with it, Smolder is in the know and she’s ok with it, and you met my crusader friends, er, they're kinda ok with it? And most importantly, the princesses are ok with it. End of discussion.” Ugh, Ocellus was cute, but you seriously had it with this attitude of hers. “You’re the only one in the know who isn’t ok with it, and that’s fine. But, y’know, this song and dance has gotten old.”
Ocellus doesn’t even try to speak out this time. She’s been anxious about the whole thing, growing tense everyday as fears of Chrysalis pulling off some scheme invaded her nightmares almost every night. It made her fearful. And yet, what can she do? The plan was set in motion long before she knew, and she has exhausted her arguments with you. “I’m sorry, it’s just very hard, Anon. It’s hard to relax knowing she can be around the corner. She scares me.”
“Ocellus…” Ugh, that sorry sad yet adorable pout. God you were a sucker for cute. It’s amazing how her and Scrappy differ. Scrappy looking past Chrysalis’s evil and worshiping her as a god, while Ocellus and the rest of the changelings see her as a tyrannical monster. Perhaps she needed a way to relax, and being you, you knew exactly what to do. You not only hope that it works, but it works in such a way that has she sees you in a more positive light. Heavens knows what would happen if she found out about the whole Storm Ravager thing. She’d probably have a bitch fit knowing he could have been at large. “Look, I was gonna go see my marefriend, Diamond Tiara. You should come with, she likes changelings.”
“She likes ‘Nymous’. I know she’s met her in her normal form too, but I bet she still acted like ‘her sister’.” Ocellus told you, she was really not being agreeable. For a converted love bug, she seemed to really HATE Chrysalis. As in, more and more than you realize.
“Ocellus, just relax, ok? You’re my friend, alright? I just want you to have a good time.” You weren’t going to get into an argument on semantics. You already knew Chrysalis cared about Diamond, so it wasn’t worth arguing. “Will you please let me show you a good time?”
Ocellus went silent, and began to reflect upon herself, and how she was acting. She could now really tell that she was probably being overbearing. She had to fully accept there was nothing she could do about ‘her’ plan. And, from her point of view, with you having done nothing wrong, all she was doing was ruining your good mood. “Y-yes, s-sorry, again. I would like to make a new friend. Is Diamond Tiara nice? She seems to always command you to do stuff.”
“Er, I mean, she can be a little forceful. But she’s also pretty sweet. One of her best qualities though is the fact that when she says she’ll do something, she’ll do it. Er, well, that also depends on what that something is. But when it’s good stuff, it’s good stuff.” You explain as you begin to take the lead towards Diamond’s manor.
“Well, I guess you wouldn’t still be her coltfriend if she was a bad pony. Er, do you think she’ll like me?” Ocellus asked, feeling more and more bashful about it.
“She will, but she’ll also probably ask you to transform once or twice into something. So expect that.” You say
“I don’t mind if she asks. The concept of us being good is still sort of new, so seeing what we can do outside of using our powers to capture and drain love must make a lot of ponies curious. Oh, what do you think of the Headmare going to visit Mount Aris? Given your popularity, I’m surprised you haven’t asked her to come along.” Ocellus said, curious to your answer.
Wut? “I didn’t know that was a thing.”
“Oh… Well, she did make an announcement she was going.” Ocellus tells you, taken aback that you somehow didn’t know.
“I probably wasn't there for that.” You say
“But you were, Silverstream was hugging all over you the moment Headmare Twilight announced it. She was hugging you and telling you could meet her brother and let the other h-Oh, never mind. That’s probably why you didn’t know.” Ocellus said, as she softly chuckled to herself.
“What do you mean by that? I mean, I remember the big hug and… Ohhhhh…” Dammit…
“Mhmm, I guess you’ll never get over females you deem cute showing affection towards you. It’s honestly why I don’t show any to you.” Ocellus says, as she shivers ever so slightly, not realizing she was doing just that. "Or try to, anyway."
“Why? So I don’t lose focus?” You ask. I mean, you had better control over yourself, right? Surely it wasn't because she still thought you'd lewd her in your mind.
“Oh, no, nothing like that. I just avoid it because… Knowing everything I know about you… It’s just, er, kinda creepy at this point. No offense, I-I just feel that perhaps you should just learn a little restraint. Well, I know I mentioned that, so I mean, er, more restraint?” Ocellus said sheepishly, looking away as she said it.
Ouuuuch, geez, were you that bad? Nah, naaaah… Dammit, you were, weren’t you? You couldn’t help it! Almost every female in this world is so damn cuddly and soft, how could anyone not resist?! “I mean, er, to you… Whatever, just follow me, ok? We’re almost there.” Dammit, just dammit. Whatever, she didn’t know what she was talking about. But as you began to approach the manor, something began to irk you, so you looked back at Ocellus. “Yo, Ocellus, can I ask you a question?”
“A question? About what, Anon?” Ocellus asked, curious, though ready for anything that might be lecherous, ready to set you straight.
“That whole emotion feel thing you do, you know, to try to figure out what I’m thinking. Do you do that to anycreature else?” You asked, wondering who else she was suspicious of.
“Well, to be honest, Anon, normally, everycreature is very honest with their emotions. It’s sort of why, when we were evil, we could infiltrate so easily. But you? Well, Anon, you’ve never really been too honest. S-sorry, it’s just true.” Again, Ocellus became rather sheepish, she couldn’t even look you in the eye as she said that, afraid she may have gone too far.
Christ, why did you expect any different? “Hey, I’m plenty honest! I do well in honesty class, don’t I?”
“Erm, well, you do. But that’s because of the whole dimensional thing, isn’t it? Actually, I often think about that. If ideas can travel across dimensions, do you think somecreature in this world has made a play or film about humans?” Ocellus asked, genuinely curious. “I know it’s a change in topic, but I never really understood the whole ‘this is a show in your old world’ thing, and there’s nocreature else I can ask about it either. I’m afraid if I did, and worse, if they believed me, they might get the idea everything here was an idea of an outworlder rather than the whole dimensional theory of the idea of our world transferring dimensions.”
“Ok, well, you’re mostly right on the whole dimensional thing. Though I’m pretty sure what ideas go where are random. For all I know, the idea of humans could end up in a universe with war mongering gerbils. Also, don’t dodge me, Ocellus. It’s not just because I’m in the know, I’m genuinely honest! I dare you to mention three instances I wasn’t.” You tell her, certain she wouldn’t be able to.
“Well…” Ocellus stopped for a moment, and began to give it some thought. “Not including when you had to be dishonest when dealing with ‘her’, You’ve lied to almost everycreature about keeping your attractions in check, you’ve been dishonest about not taking advantage of others, and you’ve been dishonest about Chancellor Neighsay.”
WUT?! “Y-you know about that? How?! I-I mean.” You keep yourself quiet, look around, and lower your voice. “When did you find out?”
“Well, I actually didn’t. I just took a guess there and waited to see if it was true.” And yet, despite saying this, Ocellus didn’t seem angry.
“And you’re not mad at me about it? Why?” You ask. Because of all things, you’d think that’d tick her off.
“Well, he sort of has the same feeling I get from you. When he does visit, he always acts pleased, but I can tell he hates me, and Smolder, Yona, and the others too. I think he hates everycreature that isn’t a pony. Then, when I spoke to Counselor Starlight about how he makes me feel uncomfortable, she told me not to worry, that everything is handled as long as we show him we’re not here to hurt anycreature. I asked her how she could be so sure, and she told me that ‘a hero is watching our backs’. It… Wasn’t very subtle. But it also meant that you actually do care, that you must be doing something to make sure he doesn’t close the school down.” Ocellus dares to give you a warming smile. “Knowing that, despite everything else, it makes me glad to be your friend.”
“Ocellus… Aw, geez.” Been awhile since you felt so humbled, your heart warming up from the praise. “Thanks. Yeah, I send the guy letters with my ‘reports’ on you guys. He’s looking for a reason to close the school down. I know if he ever found out about the whole Chrysalis thing, he’d have a reason outside you guys to do it, plus a lot worse since he thinks so highly of me.”
“Yeah, things would be really bad if he found out about that. But, as long as we do our part, nothing bad will happen. Right?” Ocellus asked, looking to you for a hopeful answer.
“Yeah, trust me, it’ll be fine. Speaking of fine, haha, here we are. Rich Manor, pretty nice, eh?” You asked, presenting the gate and path to the front door of the glorious mansion.
Suddenly, Ocellus seemed to get really shy as her ears folded, looking towards the manor with fears in her mind. “Y-yeah.”
“Ocellus? You ok? Wait.” Wait, is she suddenly shy because of the obvious reason of this being new for her? Because you didn’t need to read emotions to know this obvious trope. “C’mon, Ocellus, it’ll be alright, I promise. You don’t need to be afraid.”
“I’m not afraid!” Ocellus shouted angrily, before suddenly recoiling into a worried state. “O-ok, I am afraid. I realized I’m really comfortable at the school, but out here… It’s scary.”
“Ocellus, there is nothing to worry about, trust me. I mean, if Diamond’s mom is here, it can get kinda scary, but Diamond likes changelings, and her dad is cool. Trust me, it’ll be fine.” You say, attempting to reassure her.
“Mmnnn, even still. No, no, you’re right, I shouldn’t be scared. I came here to learn about friendship and make friends, so if I-ANON, WATCH OUT!” Ocellus squealed out as she pointed behind you.
“What? I don’t even see anything.” Was Spoiled coming out in a rage just because she sensed a chaDSGDFGDFGDF, OH GOD! “GYAH! MY EYE! MY EYE! WHY?! WHY ARE PONY EYES SO BIG! OGH!” You fall back as a thin long sword spins towards you from high in the air, out of nowhere. It just spun downwards towards you, stabbed into your right eye, and bounced towards the ground. “GYAH! I’M BLIND! MY EYE IS GONE! OOOGGHHH!”
“Anon! Anon! I swear! I didn’t see it before! I’m sorry, I’m… Wait.” Ocellus noticed there was no blood, or really, any bad injury to your eye aside from it being red as hell. She looked down at the sword itself, the end of it had a good sized rubber ball point. While that still could have poked your eye in, it didn’t seem to stab through and luckily only poked your eyes painfully. “Anon, I think this is a training sword. A-are you ok? Y-you didn’t really lose your eye, did you?”
Training sword? WHY?! What was a training sword doing all the way out here?! Why your eye!? Oh god, you slowly removed your hooves from your eye and began to blink profusely. Things were a little blurry, and watery due to it tearing up. But how did it look? “N-no, geez, i-it stings. Argh, why is my luck always like this?! Ocellus, how’s my eye?”
“Er.” Ocellus looked upon you. Yup, one good eye, the other was puffy and red, even pulsating oddly. “Well, um, erm, at least you can see through it, right? Do you have any sunglasses? Those might help.”
Dammit. “Ugh, nevermind. Where did this thing even come from?” You asked, mostly to yourself, as you examined the sword. Was this some sort of rapier or epee? A training one for fencing? “Is somepony training around here? How did thiGYAH!” Suddenly another training sword rockets down towards the back of your head. Although you barely felt it, it did send your face hurtling into the dirt.
“Anon! Are you alright?! Anon?!” Ocellus called out to you, worried and even scared of the situation.
You? Welp, you gave up, might as well lay there until your eye heals up. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” You sigh, annoyed. “Look, I’m just going to lay here.”
“What? Why? Shouldn’t we run away? There are swords flying from out of nowhere!” Ocellus exclaims towards you as she begins to panic.
“I, uh, I think it’ll be fine as long as I have my face here, in the dirt. Trust me, things just seem to sort things out after, I dunno, the second hit.” You say with a long sigh.
“Really? Wait, are you saying your luck is that bad? But, luck doesn’t even really exist, does it?” Ocellus asked, unsure.
“Luck? Probably not. Bad luck? Probably. Only way this could get worse is ifGYAH!” You slowly raise your head, only for a plate of cake to smash into your face, from the freaking sky.
“Anon!” Ocellus cried out once again, worried about your safety.
“Wait… Wait, no, this is fine. It’s coconut.” You say as you begin to lick around your face. “Whatever, I was hungry anyway.”
“Yo-you’re ok with something else hitting you?” Ocellus asked, confused.
“Ocellus, so much crap happens to me randomly that cake hitting me is probably the best thing that can happen right now.” You say as you sit down, grab the plate, and begin to munch on and lick it, your eye already beginning to slowly heal. You adorably use your hoof to brush off the cake from your head as you dine yourself on the splotched cake. You then slowly look to Ocellus, and hold the plate towards her. “Want some?”
“Er, no, that’s fine.” Ocellus, seeing that it was already dirty and filled with your saliva, didn’t really have an appetite for cake. Even further, weirded out by your sudden calmness.
Standing in front of the door, you look to Ocellus as you point to your eye. “How’s it look?”
“It’s looking better already, most of the redness is gone and…” Ocellus stops as she looks back at the door, feeling nervous.
“Ocellus? Hey, hey, it’ll be alright. Promise.” Geez, it was weird. She could stand up to you, and yet such a simple thing as meeting new friends outside the school seems to worry her. “Watch.” You say as you knock on the door. “Everything will be alright.”
“I-if you say so. No, no, I have to be brave.” Ocellus says, as if arguing with herself. “I made it this far. And I’ve studied enough to know there isn’t anything to be afraid of.”
“Yeah! That’s absolutely right! And I know forEGSDFSD” The door opens as you are immediately taken aback by an imposing figure garbed in some black bodysuit and a grated face mask. “Holy geez!” You nearly fall on your back, startled. Though, upon quick closer inspection, the bodysuit looked familiar in a sense. Although, for fencing, these things are usually white. “H-hello?”
“Mr. Anon!” The figure says with a hardy southern chuckle as he took off his face mask. “Hello! Didn’t mean to scare you none. Ah guess ah do look rather intimidating’ in this suit though. Are you alright, son?”
“Oh, yeah yeah. Haha, er, just wasn’t expecting you to open the door. What’s with the suit anyway? Actually, let me guess, fencing practice, right?”
“Right perceptive of you, Anon. And not only perceptive, but perfect timing to boot.” He says with yet another friendly chuckle.
“Perfect timing?” You ask.
“Yep, the most perfect of timin’. But before we talk business, how about you introduce me to your little friend there.” Mr. Rich said as he leaned his head over towards… A bush?
“H-how did you know?” The bush said, with a shake. It was obviously Ocellus. Must have transformed when Mr. Rich opened the door.
“Well, it might surprise you, little lady, but I’m quite perceptive myself. Especially since I don’t think a bush can just grow on my patio.” Mr. Rich, knowing it was a changeling, didn’t even seem to recoil at the thought of it. He just looked over to Ocellus with his typical hospitable smile.
“Oh, erm, I-I guess that would make me obvious. B-but, you’re not mad? I-I’m a changeling. And, er…” She didn’t know how to continue on that thought. It was weird, you’d think Ocellus would be able to handle herself better than this. But perhaps she was more comfortable when her friends were around. Well, you were around too, you’d think she’d be more comfortable due to that.
“Darlin’, if you’re half as nice as Applebloom’s little changeling friend, then I ain’t frettin’. But where are my manners? I’m Filthy Rich, but, er, just call me Mr. Rich. And you are?” Mr. Rich asked, being ever so friendly.
“I’m Ocellus.” Ocellus said, still sheepish, as she remained as a bush.
“Well, pleased to make your acquaintance, Ocellus. Though, ah would appreciate it very much if we could talk like civilized folk. You being a bush gives me the impression I’m being downright menacin’, and I’d hate that to be the reason, if that is the reason of course.” Mr. Rich said.
“O-oh!” Ocellus, at first, was stunned. He seemed so pleasant, nice, and understanding. She feared ponies she didn't know, especially older ponies who might be set in their ways, might not like her. But Mr. Rich seemed unusually nice, very friendly, and even comforting. With reluctance, she changes back to her original form. She does her best to look him in the eye as she greets him more politely. “Ahrm, erm, and I’m Ocellus. Er, I said that. But I mean that I’m currently a student in Princess Twilight’s School of Friendship. I-It’s been a very nice experience so far, and I love Ponyville too. I-I just get a little nervous, that’s all.”
“No problem, Ms. Ocellus, no problems at all. In fact, it right soothes the soul to hear you say that about our little town. So don’t be nervous, especially since you seem to have a good heart, the kind of heart that makes everypony happy. In fact, ah think you’d actually be a perfect fit for Ponyville, if you wanted to live here that is.” Mr. Rich said, keeping up his friendly demeanor. Ocellus could sense it, he seemed genuinely caring and nice.
“Oh! T-thank you, Mr. Rich! I’m happy to hear that, actually. I’ve been wanting to understand and learn more about harmony so I could be a better changeling, and help my brothers and sisters be better too! So it makes me happy to hear you say that you think I’m a perfect fit.” Ocellus was much more cheerful now, feeling her fear wash away as she received such wonderful praise.
“There we are! That’s what ah like to see, a great big smile. And I mean what ah said too.” Mr. Rich said as he reached into his suit. He was having a little trouble stretching it so he could reach inside. But once he managed, he pulled out a small book of coupons and held it out towards Ocellus. “That’s why I’d be happy to present you with this.”
“Erm, what is it?” Ocellus said as she stared at it, confused.
“Coupon book, my dear. And not just any coupon book neither. This is the gold class coupon book for Barnyard Bargains. Our prices are already the best, and our coupons just make those prices even better. But the gold class? Well, let’s just say you could buy what ya need in bulk. Now, don’t tell your friends where ya got it, but do be sure to share it with em. Because at Barnyard Bargains, we got everything your little heart desires.” And there it is, the sales pitch. Not to say Mr. Rich was greedy, he wasn’t. He meant everything he said, from his praises of Ocellus down to the sales pitch. Mr. Rich was as slick as he was honest.
“Thank you!” Ocellus said as she took the coupon book, utterly amazed. “I’ve heard of coupons and discounts before. But, erm, if this is so good, won’t this put you out of business since it makes everything so cheap? I-I wouldn’t want to cause that to happen.” She said as she began to feel bad for taking it.
Mr. Rich let out a boisterous laugh as he patted her on the head. “Now that’s just too adorable. Love the worry, little lady, but there ain’t nothin’ to worry about. Trust me, we’re the most successful general store around, so I ain’t worried, even if ya use that entire book in a day. Now, I noticed you’re with Anon today.” Mr. Rich then looked to you with a gentle smile. “Mr. Anon, I’m gonna guess you’ve been makin’ friends at that school, and perhaps you’ve been afraid to bring em over. Well, ya don’t have to, if they’re a friend of yours, then they’re a friend of mine. Don’t know about the missus though, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
“Uh yeah, actually. Erm, I was thinking Diamond might like her as a new friend. I dunno, I just get this feeling she’ll love Ocellus.” You say, more than confident that she would.
“Is that right? Well, let’s go see her then. Oh, but first, ah gotta ask, what do you know about fencin’, Anon?” Mr. Rich asked, as his tone began to become more serious.
“Well, not much, but I’d like to think I’m really good with a sword. Why? Er, does it have to do with the swords that landed in your front yard?” You asked, curious.
“Ah, that’s where they landed. But yes, you’re quite right, Anon, it does have to do with em. But, ahrm.” Mr. Rich said as he became more subdued and worried. “Ya didn’t see a cake, did ya?”
“Was it coconut?” You asked. Oh boy, you were ready for whatever reason there was a fucking cake flying in the sky.
Mr. Rich suddenly recoiled, his ears twitching as his pupils began to shrink. “D-do ya know what happened to it?”
“Erm, It sorta landed on me. And er, I ate it. H-hey, if it was important, don’t blame me! It landed on me so it was already ruined. So, y’know, ahrrmmm.” You had no idea what to really say. Especially with Mr. Rich suddenly seeming even more spooked about it as he began to shiver.
“Welp, it seems I’m rather doomed.” Mr. Rich says, mostly to himself.
“M-Mr. Rich, are you ok? W-was the cake really that important? Erm, I can help you bake a new one if you want! I learned a lot about baking in laughter class.” Ocellus said, feeling the absolute dread in Mr. Rich. She felt a sense to make things right, even if it wasn’t her fault.
“Sorry, Ms. Ocellus, but I’m afraid ah can’t accept your help. Now it ain’t because I don’t like ya, in fact, ah like you even more due to that there offer. But in case that cake ah plan to bake doesn’t taste exactly like the one she made from her recipe, I’d rather be the one to take her righteous fury alone than share it with somepony who just don’t deserve it.” Mr. Rich, despite his dread, was still quite an honorable soul.
“But, I think I can really help!” Ocellus says with confidence, wanting to help soothe Mr. Rich.
“And ya probably can. But this is my fault, and ah gotta fix it. It’s what ah get for bringing that cake outside for her, gettin’ a little overzealous in a spar, and knockin it and mah own swords clear across the manor. Besides, yer both here to see my little Diamond, right? So let’s not dawdle out here, specially since I got work to do.” Mr. Rich said as he turned around, sighed, and gathered up as much courage as possible.
“But..” Ocellus’s ears folded as she looked down, she really wanted to help him.
“No buts. And don’t pout, there ain’t no reason to. Trust me, Ms. Ocellus, it’s just a little thing between me and the missus. Everything is gonna be fine.” He obviously wasn’t telling the truth on that, but he really didn’t want you both to worry. “Tell her, Anon.”
“Yeah, Ocellus, it’ll be fine. Though, it makes me curious, I didn’t even know Mrs. Rich baked.” Like seriously, you thought the maids did all that.
“She typically don’t. But she’s been friends with the Cakes for a while now and has learned a thing or two about bakin’. Of course, if you want me to be a little more truthful, the only reason she’s interested is because she wants to win the Canterlot Baking Grand Prix. Even went to the Spa with Mrs. Cake today so she could walk her over to the manor to taste her cake after relaxin' her, you know, to catch her off guard. She's expectin’ nothing but her best reaction to it. “ Mr. Rich explained.
Oh geez, yup, he was doomed. He was going to try to bake a new cake, and all you could hope for that not only did it taste up to par with Mrs. Rich’s version, but it was also enough to impress Mrs. Cake. “Yeah… Are you sure you don’t want Ocellus’s help?”
Mr. Rich flinched at that before looking back at you with a nasty look. “Now you cut that out. Ahm perfectly capable of bakin’ a good cake. Anyway, yer both gonna be too busy to help me anyway.” His tone was indeed a little sour, even if he was still trying to be friendly. Perhaps you stung his pride a little, his baking pride. Not exactly something you want when your theoretical life is on the line, if you were him anyway.
“Busy? Ok, but, why? Does it have to do with that whole ‘perfect timing’ thing?” You asked as Mr. Rich led you both inside, and headed through the halls towards the back.
“Exactly. Now, Anon, you know how the female side of the Riches can be. Spontaneous, unpredictable, and always spearheading a project head on. Well, that still holds true now. Ya see, our little Diamond has been wanting to practice fencin’ for a few weeks now, apparently been wanting to learn to swing a sword with the grace of a bat, or somethin’. I expected the missus to disagree with that, as I certainly got a little worried about my precious little darlin’ wanting to learn to fight with a dangerous weapon. But ah was wrong. See, the missus found a Saddle Arabian fencing instructor in Canterlot. The gentlecolt is quite remarkable with nearly every bladed weapon. Furthermore, seems he holds you in high regard for saving his school from being outright obliterated by the Storm King. Lance Scimitar is his name, and his deals are more than fair. Missus managed to hire him as a private instructor for Diamond, for free, under the condition you would honor him in a spar. Ah apologize for not lettin’ you know about it, but it’d mean a lot if ya sparred him. And this ain’t about his classes being free for us, rather we like to be true to our word. Although, ah still have to apologize you got thrown in like that, ya know how my sweet petunia can be. Ah understand if ya don’t want to. But as ah said, it’d mean a lot if ya did.” Mr. Rich explained, hoping you’d not get upset. Hell, a spar? Getting to show off your skills? Given how kind Mr. Rich has been to you so far, there was no way you could say no.
“For you, Mr. Rich? Anything.” You say with a cool smile.
“Mr. Anon, you truly are one in a million. Thank ya kindly. Of course, if there is anything ya need from me, don’t hesitate to ask.” Mr. Rich said, grateful you didn’t get mad. He already had enough to deal with.
“Er, not to, erm, be negative. But is Anon going to receive a little training first? He’s not exactly good with a sword.” Ocellus said, rather meekly.
“What?! How could you say that? I’m a freakin’ swordmaster, even took on Rainbow Dash once.” You say, feeling rather insulted. If you can wield Alastor, you can wield a dinky training sword.
“W-well, I’m not too sure about that, you could be! But, erm, it’s just usually your horn that lets you pull off those skills. I-I don’t mean that as a bad thing, I just… I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Ocellus said, shaking, yet also worried for you.
“Now there ain’t nothing to worry about, darlin’. Lance is a professional, and I’ve seen Anon hold his own, even after a fiery statue exploded. If Anon says he can handle a sword, then I believe him.” Mr. Rich said, with confidence.
“Yeah, I mean, I trained with Rainbow Dash and demolished my final exam. Trust me, I’m more than capable of handling some guy with a sword.” Like, c’mon, maybe ponies were tougher than you had given them credit for before. But in a straight up physical fight with weapons? You had this.
“O-ok… I just… Nevermind.” Ocellus had no idea what to say to convince you. It worried her, so much so she didn’t even take in all she was walking past, not taking the time to admire the luxuries around her.
But, yeah, damn right ‘nevermind’. Day by day, you improved. So some sword wielding poof ain’t gonna be able to beat your raw skill.
The three of you step out to the back. It was grand and luxurious of course, the trimmings and trees kept in immaculate condition as the pool shimmered and shined. Though, to the side of it, in the grass lawn, a strong yet slim brownish peach pony stood. He looked a little old, with a scar across his right eye, with his mane and beard being silver. Oddly enough, his beard looked like the blade of a claymore as his mane curved back many times like cutlasses. His name, oddly enough, matched his cutie mark as well, as it was two Scimitars cross, with a lance in between. He was a unicorn as well, and his horn? Sheesh, it stood like the end of a longsword. His shimmering green eyes had an intense stare, he was yelling instructions at two fillies, garbed in the same kind of suit Mr. Rich was in, who were fighting with swords in their mouths. Diamond and Silver? “Disgusting display! You say you want to fight like a sword fighter, but you swing your sword like thug with dagger! Turn your sword by the hilt, use your tongue, switch and counter, parry, and strike! Never let your opponent gain an advantage on you! And you, little pegasus with spunk, stop being so spunky! You are able to turn the hilt, but you swing your sword without predicting your opponent! Wild swinging is not the way to win! If you both keep this up, then I will have to show you both my ‘basics’ film again! You may complain it is two hours of nothing, but it is important! And yet, you both don’t learn from it. So yes, impress me, or else!” He barks at them in a rather thick accent.
The two figures looked to each other, and then, just like that, their battle became more furious, if a little clumsy. Lance simply watched, standing proud, observing every moment until something caught his eye. One of the sword fighters nearly tripped, and seemed to be tired. “Stop! Stop, the both of you! Perhaps I was too harsh. Take a break, get a drink from the cooler, and contemplate on your movements. Twenty minutes! Use some of that time to meditate!” He bellowed. But indeed, he had simply noticed that the two had been getting tired, possibly hot from nonstop training. Also, Pegasus? Wut?
The two foals stopped, seemed to take a few heavy breaths, and removed their helmets, revealing Diamond and… Wait, Scootaloo?! Wut?
“Geez, Diamond, when you offered me a chance to fight with swords, I didn’t know it was going to be this tough.” Scootaloo said to Diamond, panting, sweating.
“Well, I couldn’t ask Silver Spoon. I want to learn to be an awesome furious sword fighter, I don’t think she can handle that.” Diamond said as she sat to fix her frazzled mane, split ends caused by the heat.
“Hey, I get it, but all this technique stuff is tough. They make it look so easy in the movies.” Scootaloo said as she looked back at her suit, and pulled back two zippers to release her wings. “There we go, it was getting cramped in here.” Scootaloo then looked over at Lance and whispered. "What is with this guy? He's rough."
Diamond giggled at that "Trust me, if you've seen the kind of instructors we have for everything else, this guy is probably one of the nicest."
"No kidding." Scootaloo says with a small huff.
“Seems the current lesson is over. Perfect, simply perfect timing. Mr. Scimitar!” Mr. Rich called out with a wave. “Can I have a word?”
Lance looked over with a serious stare, while Scootaloo and Diamond looked over to see your group. Diamond was already excited as Scootaloo called and waved to you. Lance himself walked over to your group silently, almost imposingly as he looked to Mr.Rich and shook his head. “More students, Mr. Rich? I agreed to the two, and I hope you aren’t adding two more without me even having a chance to even meet Anon. Although…” His eyes look to Ocellus, who immediately becomes frightful of his cold stare. “Training a changeling would be interesting. So many forms, so many possibilities. For free form sparring, I could teach her to be a brilliant duelist!”
“E-erm… A-actually, erm… I don’t really like fighting, s-sir” Ocellus said as she began to cower behind Mr. Rich.
“A shame. And what about him?” Lance points to you.
“Er, actually, Mr. Scimitar, that is Anon, the hero colt, and my future son-in-law. Ah know he looks small, but he’s actually a little firecracker. Should give you a run for your money.” Mr. Rich said with a sort of pride, already expecting you to be much better than you seemed.
“That is Anon?” Lance said, baffled, as he looked to you with wide eyes. He suddenly became rather silent.
“What? Hey, I really am him, you know? And if you think I can’t fight you, then pick up a sword, I’ll run rings around you.” C’mon, how does anyone not know what you look like by now?! Especially after being a great hero. Christ, this is how Twilight must feel when she gets treated like a normal pony despite being a fucking alicorn.
Still, Lance was silent, making you all feel awkward until he suddenly burst into loud, almost obnoxious laughter. “Haha! You really are him! And here I was being foolish!” He said as he suddenly bowed towards you. “Apologies, little hero colt, but the papers made you look much bigger.”
Wut? “That was, ahm, that was quick. So, heh, you recognize my greatness then, huh?” You say with a cool smirk.
“But of course! The young colt who saved Equestria from a King who subdued even the princesses is nopony to be insulted. That, and I am a firm believer of never underestimating an opponent, no matter their skill or appearance. It is why I’ve been looking forward to sparring with you. Any young colt who is able to do that in which a group of six usually does these days must be a true worthy opponent in all arts of combat.” Dude, this guy, he knew what was up. Silverstream was one thing, but this guy? Yeah, he understood just how dangerous you were.
“Hey, man, I just do what I do. So, a spar, eh? Yeah, I usually have a busy schedule and all, but for you, a fan? Bah, I can show you my stuff.” Oh yeah, baby, you had this in the bag.
“Good, very good. I will alert the girls to take long break, to even observe our battle. As for you, take a training sword from my bag over there, any one you wish, and warm up. In ten minutes, we fight!” Lance seemed primed and ready to go already, his tone was like he was having his dream come true at this very moment.
“Cool, cool, but what about a body suit? You know, for protection?” You ask.
Again, Lance laughs. “Hahaha! Hoho! You worry for me, and I understand, given your amazing skill. But worry not, this free form battle will truly test our willpower and skill. I already know you don’t need one, but truly fear not, as it is something I will not need, even if it something I myself should use against the likes of you.”
You eye twitched. “Uh, aren’t these swords still dangerous?”
“Only to the untrained. And you, Anon, don’t try to tell me you’re untrained. Those heavy shackles on your legs, they must make you strong. I will not force you to take them off, though if they hinder you, I’d recommend that you do so you are not at a disadvantage. Just like I, I hope you do not underestimate your opponent.” Lance said as he already began to stretch his legs.
Shit… Well, fuck it. How tough can he actually be? Dammit, you really hoped this wouldn’t hurt. “Y-yeah, totally. Just give me some time to warm up. Uh, yeah.”
“Indeed, indeed, as I said, you may warm up. And yes, little hero colt, I am aware of your horn and its unicorn qualities. Feel free to use it, but only to use your weapon. Spells are not permitted, one of the few rules free form combat has. I’d fight you by tournament rules, but it is much too restrictive for this particular duel.” He told you as he went to pick up a sword for himself to practice with.
“Uh huh… Alrighty then.” Was all you could say. But looking at Ocellus, it seemed she didn’t have too high a confidence in you for this fight. Ah well, you knew Diamond and Scootaloo would have your back. So whatever, you got this.
“You have an awesome name, Ocellus. It’s nice to meet you.” Said Diamond, after properly introducing herself in such a way that made her grander than she seemed.
Indeed, while you were spending your time practicing, you let Ocellus hit it off with Diamond, and it seemed to be going well so far. Meanwhile Mr. Rich had excused himself to work on baking a new cake.
“Oh, erm.” Ocellus was nervous, and yet, she was already feeling so well loved . First Mr. Rich, and now Diamond. “And it’s nice to meet you too. I really don’t bother you? Really?”
Diamond shook her head “Not at all. I happen to think changelings are totally cool. Actually, I…” Diamond stopped herself. Diamond knew Ocellus knew that she knew about Chrysalis. You were being honest with her thus far, keeping her updated. Just the same, you had kept Smolder and Ocellus updated, although with them, less so simply because they were less inclined to trust Chrysalis. Ocellus knew Diamond knew, so it should be ok to talk to her about it. “...I think Queen Chrysalis is awesome too. What do you think about her being reformed soon? You know, after she totally fails her evil plans. I think it’ll be great! She’s like a sister to me, you know?”
Ocellus turned her head a bit, just hearing those words ruined the mood she had. It made her feel a sense of disgust. “So you really do think that? I know Anon is really optimistic about it, and I know everycreature in the know is trying to pull it off, but it doesn’t sit right with me. I’ve had to get over it, over her, and hope Anon is right. Even though I know it probably won’t be. She’s cruel and hateful, I really can’t see her being friendly at all with anypony but Anon. And even with what I remember, she was kind of mean about it.”
Diamond’s ears folded, she frowned. She didn’t think Ocellus would have such a harsh perception of Chrysalis. And yet, her words seemed familiar to her. “I know she can be harsh and stuff, trust me, I know. But we have connected a lot, and she treats me pretty good. I’ve even been wanting to visit her again lately, I just haven’t gotten a chance yet because Anon is usually busy or he’s already used up his magic. I happen to think she’s a lot less evil than before.”
“I’d like to believe that. I know she saved an Equestria with Anon, she’s talked about it to us before. Though, the way she put it, it was a necessity. It’s things like that that make it a possibility though, since she'd never really try to save any Equestria. But everything else? Given the fact world domination has always been something she wanted, it makes me believe she would give up her friendship if it meant dominating Equestria.” Ocellus explains, being a damned downer about the subject.
“You really don’t like her, huh? Even though she’s your mom?” Diamond asked, feeling terrible as that familiar feeling grew in her.
Ocellus reluctantly nodded. “I don’t, the entire hive doesn’t. I think our old captain, Scrappy, is the only one of us who still likes her. I can’t even imagine what she thinks of us. She wanted King Thorax destroyed for defecting. So I can’t imagine how much she hates us now.”
“I don’t think she hates you or her hive. I think she misses you all a lot, even if it’s in her own way. Anon has told me that she’s lonely, that she wants you all back. Ok ok, before you say anything, I know it’s probably to do more evil stuff. But I also know she really does care about you.” Diamond pauses for a moment and sighs. “Actually, I know how you feel.”
“You know how I feel?” Ocellus was now confused. “What do you mean?” Ocellus didn’t even know how to respond to that.
“I mean, you know, not liking your mom. I know what it’s like. My mom, I mean, she wasn’t totally evil, but she hated ponies she saw as beneath her. She taught me that only ponies that were like us were worth it, and that blank flanks were worthless little ponies. She taught me to be the best, and that anypony who tried to stop me was bad.” Diamond looked down, gulped, and then looked to Ocellus’s eyes with a sad expression. “It actually took a bunch of blank flanks to show me I was wrong, to make me realize this wasn’t the kind of pony I should be. I… I never wanted to be bad, or be hated, it’s just…” Diamond tears up a little, as she wipes her eyes. “It’s just all I knew, and Daddy didn’t even realize what was really going on either, so he never said I should do anything differently. If I wanted to change, I had to stand up to my mother, and tell her she was wrong. And even though I bettered myself, my mother was still, well, a big jerk. Though, eventually, she began to realize how wrong she was too. That she cared more about me and Daddy than being spiteful. I-I mean, she’s still spiteful, but she likes my friends, she likes Anon, and she tries to be a nicer pony overall. Again, sorta? Erm, she can still be scary, and mean, but she is also super nice when she wants to be. I-I guess what I’m saying is that I know how you feel because my mother used to be bad, and so was I. I know it’s not evil bad, but it was still pretty bad. I’d even plot and scheme to ruin the Cutie Mark Crusaders day, which erm, I guess I also know how it is to lose a lot because they’d win every time. Erm, what I’m trying to say is, I kinda know how it is as both her and you? I-I didn’t insult you, did I?”
Diamond didn’t usually act subdued, she was usually so dominating. But this time? She felt hurt, she saw so much in Ocellus that she saw in her former life, the part that was controlled. Ocellus could see it, she could hear it, feel it. It made her stop, and think. “I didn’t know. And I really don’t know what to think of that. But your story does sound sort of like ours. Was your mother really that bad? Were you?”
Diamond nodded. “Mhmm, nopony was good enough for her. She was hateful, and so was I. Every time I lost, I got so angry, and just wanted to ruin the Crusaders even more. Humiliating them even made her happy, as she felt I was putting others in their proper place.”
Ocellus went wide eyed for a moment. That was pretty heavy, she didn’t expect that at all, especially from someone so nice. “It’s almost hard to believe, considering I’ve always heard you were nice. And your dad, he’s super nice too, he even gave me a coupon book. But Chrysalis, she’s... “ Ocellus stopped, and began to really give it some thought, trying to be unbiased. “Actually, the fact she likes Anon, and you. In a million moons, that is something none of us would ever come close to even thinking that could happen, it never even came up as a possibility. But she seems genuinely happy when she’s around Anon, I remember that. In fact, this whole curse thing. The Chrysalis I know would never put herself at such a heavy disadvantage on purpose, not even as some sort of challenge. She takes advantage of everything, and everycreature. I-I guess, maybe, she has been softening up. And to take that kind of risk is so unlike her, it’s weird, the risk of losing is really big.”
“I know, right? Anon and I think it’s because she wants to fail. She thinks she wants to win, but she just wants to fail and get things over with. Oh, plus, you know she’s talked to Scrappy recently too, right? From what I was told, that went really well!” Diamond said, suddenly feeling more excited that Ocellus seemed to be seeing her side of things.
“Er, no, I didn’t know that. Scrappy is at the school all the time and he never mentioned anything to me. Oh, unless he’s just keeping it all a secret because of her. I know he’s really loyal to her still, he still calls her his queen. Weird, so, did he go to visit her? And she was totally ok with it? She didn’t get mad at him, for, you know… Treason?” Ocellus asked, curious.
Diamond went wide eyed. She didn’t know Ocellus didn’t know. And suddenly, she realized that if she told Ocellus he met Chrysalis at the school, she’d probably tell Twilight and the whole thing would be over. However, unlike you, Diamond was good at keeping her emotions together for moments like this, she had to learn to be the future heiress of the Rich estate, and that required being composed at any moment. “Oh, well, he does everything pretty literally. As long as Chrysalis isn’t skulking around to hurt Princess Twilight, then he won’t call her out. You know how he is, and so does she. It’s just what I heard, but they were happy to see each other again. And it makes me think she’d love to see you all too. Maybe not now, but one day.”
“I… mnngh, I’ve really messed up, huh? I was so scared of her, so scared of her hurting everycreature else, that I just didn’t want to believe, no matter what I was told. Everytime I saw a glimmer of hope, I’d just go back to not believing in her. She can really reform, can’t she? Do you really believe it’s possible?” Ocellus asked, suddenly lost in her own thoughts, believing now she really was wrong.
“Like you said, she wouldn’t have cursed herself if she wanted to win. She’s just doing this because she still has that feeling of evilness, but it’ll pass, trust me.” Diamond said, trying to reassure her.
“Yeah, yeah, I guess that makes sense. W-wow, I can’t believe it’s really possible.” Ocellus said, amazed about it all.
“Anything is possible, especially when my Anon is involved.” Diamond said, looking back at you with a warm doting smile “He’s dreamy, isn’t he?”
“Erm, yes?” Ocellus said, not sure what to say about that.
“I knooow, right?! Oops, but you already hang out with Anon a lot at school, so you probably know how really great he is. Which brings me to my next question. So, when you’re out of school, would you like to come to one of my tea parties sometime? You can meet my best friend, Silver Spoon. And we can talk about all sorts of things!” Diamond said, happy to make a connection with Ocellus.
“That sounds nice. Erm, would your best friend like me?” Ocellus asked.
Diamond just muttered to herself. “She better.” Before looking to Ocellus “I think so”
“Then I’d really love to now. I actually would like to take on a real tea party. Professor Rarity says they're really great!” Ocellus said, as excitement began to fill her.
“Good! B-but you’re also ok about Chrysalis? Right? I mean, when she reforms, she’ll probably be joining us too. Is that ok?” Diamond asked.
“I…” Ocellus flinched for a moment. She took a deep breath. Somehow, it was still a little hard to accept. But if things really are heading to a reformation, then… “I’d love to. I don’t mind at all.”
“Yeah! It’s gonna be so awesome!” Diamond said with a cheer.
And as their chat was going on, you were practicing with your training sword as Scootaloo watched. You didn’t have any charges left, given you used the two you had for Chrysalis’s car and to return back to Ponyville with Lyra and Bon Bon, but thanks to Discord’s upgrade, you could use basic unicorn telekinesis and barrier spells with ease, even with you looking like you were possessed by Sombra. In fact, using telekinesis seemed really easy to you, as you were able to slash your sword and stab it with lightning speed with little effort. “And that! And take that!”
“Anon, do you really think you can take on Lance? He’s pretty fast, and really good with a sword. Like, super good with one. And last time I checked, you never really swung one before.” Scootaloo said, as she spoke to you with caution.
“Do you see this, Scoots? Check this out!” You make the sword spin like a buzzsaw before stopping it instantaneously, blade out. “I can make this thing strike any way I want. And with my reflexes, this guy is toast.”
“Anon, I’m just saying maybe you shouldn’t take him on without thinking. I’m serious, the guy is almost as fast as Rainbow Dash, and he doesn’t even fly! He showed us a demonstration with Mr. Rich, giving him two swords while he had one. Anon, he didn’t even need his magic to overpower him and send his swords flying. I mean, even when Mr. Rich fell back on the table and accidentally sent Mrs. Rich’s cake flying at Lance, he just parried it like it was nothing and sent it flying too. I haven’t even seen him fight using his magic, Anon, the guy lives up to his name with just his mouth!” Scootaloo explained, really wanting you to take this seriously.
“Wow…” You stop to look at Scootaloo, a little astonished by her attitude. “You’re usually a lot more optimistic than this, Scoots. Is this guy really that good? Like, good enough for you to compare him to Rainbow Dash?”
“E-err, no, not really. I’m just saying he’s pretty fast. I also sat down and watched his whole two hour beginner’s film thing and there are so many stances, styles, and swords to master that it nearly made my head explode! This guy has mastered them all, Anon, he’s gonna be really tough to beat.” Scootaloo told you, with worry in her tone.
“Scootaloo, relaaaaax.” You tell her as you pick up your sword with your magic and give her a smirk. “Watch this.” You then jump forward and stab the sword forward, pull back, and stab with what nearly looked like a hundred stabs in only a small moment. You then looked to Scootaloo with an arrogant grin as you spin the sword and have it stab into the ground. “Pretty fast, huh?”
“Yeah, woah. That’s pretty crazy considering you don’t have any charges left. When did you get so good with a sword?” Scootaloo asked, immediately impressed by your lightning quick strikes.
“I’ve always been good with a sword. And thanks to our training, I’m fast on my hooves too. I don’t need my chaos magic to beat this guy, I promise you that.” You say with a chuckle as you wipe your brow.
“Huh, I never knew that.” Scootaloo then slowly turns her head towards Ocellus, then back to you. It seems she was slightly irked by her, and yet, she couldn’t tell why. “So what’s with her?”
“Huh? Oh, Ocellus? Friend from school.” You say as you jump back while you swing the sword upwards, then downwards.
“Changeling, huh? Is she like Scrappy?” Scootaloo asked, keeping her eyes on her.
“Not really. She’s, hm, how to put it. She’s cool, but she studies a lot and seems to have a problem with everything I do.” You tell her.
“Huh, even with the whole Chrysalis thing?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yeah, even that.” You say, lunging forward with a stab.
“Yeah… I really hope that works out for you, Anon. But I don’t even get her. She’s evil, but she’s nice to you and Diamond. She wants to reform, but she wants to try to pull off this crazy plan. And is she really still hurt about her hive becoming good?” Scootaloo asked, curious, trying to understand.
“Yeah. C’mon Scootaloo, don’t doubt me now. I know you don’t really like her, but then, look at Diamond. She was practically yours and the rest of the crusaders’ enemy. Now she’s good, and my marefriend. Chrysalis has feelings too, we just need to help her see and understand them.” You explain to her, putting down the sword to further focus on the conversation.
“Yeah, I get that, even Scrappy is hoping she reforms. But what about the other changelings? Scrappy says they hate Chrysalis.” Scootaloo says, turning over to you “I mean, things don’t seem very hopeful if even her own kids hate her.”
“That’s why we gotta turn things around.” You raise your leg, looking at your shackles, before showing it to Scootaloo. “It’s my last chance to save her, Scoots. Please, it’d really help me to know you’re on my side.”
“Yeah, no, Anon, I got your back. I just, I just get this feeling. I don’t know what it is, something about me just doesn’t like her. But hey, I guess that’s why we have to look past that and stuff, right? Thinking about it, even Zecora wouldn’t be our friend if we just hated her because of those silly stories. Oh, wait, you probably didn’t know about that. I’m kinda glad I didn’t know Applebloom yet when that happened. I heard about Poison Joke, and that doesn’t sound fun at all to deal with.” Scootaloo said as she shook her head. She couldn’t get over a bad feeling she always had. Of course, this feeling probably having to do with her memory erased by Luna from when she was super drained by the entire hive. It was a feeling she could never explain, but was always there
“Yeah, I heard about that.” You reply
“You seem to hear about everything.” Scootaloo said with a slightly awkward chuckle. “Sometimes we think that dimension you came from was from some future of Equestria more than anything else. Still, it must have been crazy. Being a human colt, getting torn from home. Do you ever miss it?” Scootaloo asked, curious if you ever got homesick.
“Nope.” You really didn’t. The human world was nowhere near as cool as Equestria. That and you were genuinely loved here. “Especially since all of you, and Dad, and Aunt Fluttershy. Everypony really, you’re all like family to me.” Mushy, but you meant it.
“Aw, hey, Anon. I mean, we are sort of like family too. We’re still crusaders after all. Though, you really should help us with helping other foals get their cutie marks. It’s fun, and it always feels good when they finally get their mark.” Scootaloo said, trying to encourage you to partake in more crusader activities. Especially the camp.
“That really is more your guys thing. I have my own crazy stuff I gotta worry about. Like seriously, Chrysalis right now is my top focus and priority. That right there, is like, well, trying to help her find her cutie mark, right?” That did seem like a pretty good equivalent.
“Huh, I guess that makes sense. Hey, I never got a chance to ask, how are Rainbow Dash’s classes? They're wicked awesome, right?” Scootaloo asked, nearly shaking her tail like a puppy as she happily awaited your response.
“Loyalty class?” Given how her and Applejack butt heads at times, and Dash’s general nature, honesty and especially loyalty class are always a roller coaster of quality. “Eh, it’s fine. Nothing super crazy yet, not until extracurricular stuff becomes available and we start using the stadium.”
“Man, that already sounds so cool! It’s like training with Rainbow Dash all over again! I wish I could go to that school sometimes. I don’t really see why I can’t. Puh, it kinda stinks.” Scootaloo said, rubbing her right hoof along the ground as she groaned disappointingly.
“Why can’t you, exactly?” You ask, you’d think Twilight would let the Crusaders in if they asked.
“I asked Rainbow Dash about it once. She said it's because I’m overqualified.” Scootaloo groaned yet again.
Wait… WAIT… WUT?! SCOOTALOO IS OVERQUALIFIED?! THE CRUSADERS ARE OVERQUALIFIED?! AND YOU’RE NOT?! HOW?! YOU UNDERSTOOD THE ELEMENTS BETTER THAN ANYONE! HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT OVERQUALIFIED?! “Wait, huh? You’re overqualified?!”
“Yeah, I guess, or something like that.” Scootaloo said as she laid on her belly, resting her head on the side of her leg, annoyed, not really noticing your own bewilderment.
“And what about me?! How am I not overqualified?!” You asked, startling Scootaloo with your loud outburst.
“Wha?! I-I dunno! It might be because you're shifty, you get caught in a lot of lies sometimes, your loyalty is with a crazy bug queen, your magic isn’t even yours really, you’re kinda selfish, and you can be pretty mean. Erm, these aren’t all things I thought of, it’s just others have said it, so it kinda makes sense why Twilight wanted you to attend her class.” Scootaloo explained, taking a few steps back from you in case you suddenly decide to whack her with your sword.
Holy fuck, it wasn’t like the crusaders weren’t those things! S-sheesh, you knew you had quirks, sure, but was it that bad?! “Bah, that’s just exaggeration and-” But before you could finish that thought, Lance calls out to you from the middle of the back yard.
“Little Hero Colt, Anon! I await you, as warm ups are over! Pick up your sword, your friends, and face me! I shall go over the rules more thoroughly before we duel.” Lance called out, awaiting your presence.
Welp, there it is, do or die time. You take up your sword with your horn, and head over to Lance as the others begin to follow, with varying degrees of excitement and belief in you. It was time, time to make sure you repay a debt you got thrown into. And you are doing it with style, no question about it. Scootaloo whispered to you “Good luck” as you stepped up to face off against Lance.
You stood at the ready, as the girls kept their distance, completely focused on you and Lance. You hold up your sword towards Lance, giving it a spin or two as you arrogantly give a few stabs forward. Lance however, stood fast and serious, never showing an ounce of a lack of discipline. Lance raised his sword and simply stared at it, eyeing the ball point like it was an iron sight. And as he did so, he began to speak. “Little Hero Colt, I beg you not to show me mercy. We are two warriors who must put everything we have into this fight, even if it is a spar. As you may know, the state of my horn does not allow me to cast many spells, no matter how hard I train myself. It is a birth defect that was forged in the womb this way, but I do not see it as a detriment in my life.”
Wut? “Uhhhh, I actually didn’t know anything about that. You have a problem with your horn?”
Lance's stance was finally broken as he looked towards you with surprise and embarrassment. “O-oh, excuse me, I thought Mr. Rich would have informed you. For some reason unknown to any doctor, my horn does not expel magic very well. For years, my parents, and even myself, believed I would never reach my full potential, or even obtain my cutie mark.” Suddenly he looked up and yelled out. “But I was wrong! We were wrong! For you see, Anon, I had grown up watching ‘Masked Valiant’ films, that of which I’m sure you’re aware of. Films of a rich plantation owner who is debonair and charismatic, and yet seems shady given his interactions with bad ponies. But it is a farce! He only mingles with them to find out their evil secrets, and then with mask over eyes and sword in mouth, he becomes ‘Masked Valiant’! A hero who stops evil doers with the skill beyond even those of alicorns, and yet, he is only an earth pony! I wanted to be like him, and I wanted to swing a sword as well as he. I trained myself everyday, working with the magic I did have and the skills in which simple neck twists provide. It was all I wanted then, to be a professional duelist! Through years of practice, and going through every tournament that became available, I brought honor to my family and to myself by mastering the art of every blade I could get my hooves on. But alas, I am not like my hero, as I have never stopped a villain. When it comes to you, Anon, I have figured fighting a hero who fights alone, like Masked Valiant, would be the closest I’d ever feel as being worthy enough to stop an evil villain. If the stories are true, then I do not expect to win. But if I can at least keep up with you, then I will feel fulfilled in my quest. Anon, do not hesitate, and do not let me win. Doing so would be a spit on my honor, do you understand?”
Holy shit, that was heavy. The guy is magically crippled? And yet, he apparently became a sword master or something like that. Don’t let him win though? Well, hearing that, you almost thought about it, but only because you now knew you had an advantage. But if he wants it that way, so be it. “Got it.”
“Good.” Lance says with a smiling nod. “Now then, the contest is simple. All forms of physical and blade based combat is allowed in this fight. While a shield spell is allowed for sword and shield duelists, any spells outside that scope are strictly prohibited. The winner will be decided by three points made through physical contact through body or blade. Are you ready, Anon?”
You jump back, and point your blade towards Lance. “You bet!”
“Then en guarde!” Lance seems to hold himself back for a moment after giving the signal, but only perhaps to make things more fair as to not launch off instantly. Because launching was exactly what he did after his hesitant moment. Like a bullet, he began to rush towards you ready to make a swipe directly at you.
“Gyah!” Holy shit! He was moving fast! He was already nearly up to your face. You instinctively toss your sword towards him, startled. Surprisingly, the ball tip hits his chest, making him stop as he looks down at your sword, astonished.
“Anon!” Diamond screamed, suddenly in anger. “What are you doing?! That’s the most dishonorable move you can do!”
Ocellus seemed confused and looked to Scootaloo. “It is?”
“Oh, yeah, she’s right. According to the film, throwing your sword is some final ‘cowardly act’ or something like that. Basically what scaredy cats do when they know they're beat. Yikes, was not expecting that out of Anon.” Scootaloo said, rather astonished herself.
“Oh, I-I hope Lance isn’t upset with him.” Ocellus said with a gulp as she looked over to Diamond, worried over her angry yelling.
You simply take your sword back, looking at him. Did that count? You saw it, it hit him. Why was Diamond yelling? You hit the guy. “Lance?”
After another moment, Lance went from wide eyed to a loud almost obnoxious laugh. “HAHAHAHAHA! What a fool I am!” The moment he said that, you could already hear confusion from Diamond. “I had heard you had very unorthodox tricks to your fighting method. Normally, a sword is thrown in defeat, as a cowardly and ineffective last effort from amateurs. Yet you, Little Hero Colt, you throw your sword at the very start of the match. I’d have never been able to see that coming. Good work!”
Wut? No, not wut. Just take the win. “Oh, uh, yeah! Heh, I represent chaos, remember? I’m unpredictable.” Fuck, you had to be more vigilant. You had to be more ready. This guy was quick, way too quick. Be ready to actually fight, Anon, that throw won’t work a second time.
“Indeed! Well then, I’ll simply have to be more careful. Now then…” Lance raises his sword yet again and jumps back. “Are you ready, Anon?”
Ok, focus, Anon, focus. Ready the sword, and get ready to parry. “Ready!”
“En Guarde!” Lance shouts. Instead of speeding towards you however, he more cautiously steps towards you, sword in a more defensive position, hovering with his supposed weaker magic.
Ok, raise your sword and prepare yourself, he’s moving a lot slower now, he’s prepared for a sword throw.
You ready yourself, all you need is a good swing to get your second point. Closer, closer, and.. Oh no! His swing! It was wicked fast, so fast, you barely parry it. And worst still, he isn’t relenting, he’s making you step back as he quickly and skillfully slashes towards you, parrying any slash you make to quickly counter into a faster strike. He’s forcing you back with every swing, and the only reason his stabs didn’t get you was due to your own speed and small size, you were hard to hit. Come on, Come on! AHA! Suddenly, your swords clash with one another. Your magic, even in this state, you knew was superior. You prepare to quickly push foSDFSDFSDFS.
“HYAH!” Lance was quick. In one quick moment after the clash, he rushes forward and grabs the hilt of his sword with his teeth, using his own physical force to throw your sword back as he rushes towards you, slapping the side of your face with a neck twisting sword slash.
You tumble backwards as you fall on your belly, your sword falling back down and slapping your head before falling beside you. What the fuck was that?! You didn’t know he was going to go from some magic swinging style to a physical one! “Ogh…”
The girls gasped, Diamond merely slapped her forehead and was just wondering what the hell that was.
“Ah, it seems you are not used to such a change up. You are quick on your hooves, Anon, but your attacks lacked passion. Please, do not hold back, I would have expected, or perhaps not expected, one of your patented moves there.” Lance said as he stabbed forward, hopping left and right like he was a boxer.
Christ, it wasn’t like you weren’t trying. You slowly stand up, grab your sword with your magic, and hold it up towards him. Fucking hell, you’re going to have to use your head on this one. “T-that was just a warm up. I’m ready this time.”
“As it is my point, it is your call, Little Hero Colt.” He said as he readied himself once more.
“Erm, ok.” Alright, Anon. You had to be even more ready. The guy could switch up from magic to his mouth at any time, you just need to find a way through that. “Let’s go!” You call out as rush towards him, willing to try to gain offensive advantage.
Immediately, Lance takes a defensive position as you try a flurry of stabs at him. At first, he steps back as he quickly parries a few stabs. But then, with an upward swing, he manages to counter your forward stabbing and send your sword backwards, the ball tip stabbing through the ground a few yards away from you.
Shit! No, he said physical attacks, right? And, you did have… Yes! You watch for his next strike, and call up a barrier to quickly repel it. It works, but as you drop the shield to jump and strike him, he quickly jumps back with his sword in his mouth, holding it in such a way that the sword pointed forward. You jump left and right towards him, hoping he’d try to move up and stab you, but instead he jumps back himself and stabs right towards you from a safer position. You bring up your barrier again, but holy shit, you catch the blade with the tip almost touching right between your eyes.
Lance says nothing, suddenly calm as he waits, he was going to stab right into you the moment you dropped the barrier. Shit, you were so close! You couldn’t move forward, you’d be hit for sure. Anon, was this your limit? No, no! You still had to have something! You look back at your sword, then look back at Lance, who was focused for that hit. Use your head, Anon! USE IT! Fuck man, Scootaloo was right! You had to be more… Oh wait, your sword! Your head! What if you…
You eye Lance, and prepare to jump back. Immediately, you drop the barrier, hop backwards, which dodges his stab, and head back towards your sword. But you weren’t going to pick it up, no, you had a better idea. Lance gives chase, he was probably going to try to stab you as you grab your sword. And yet, you didn’t plan to do that. As soon as you reach your sword, you jump up towards the hilt and grab onto it as the sword bends backwards by the blade. Then, like a catapult, the sword swings forward and launches you head first towards Lance. “HYYYAH!” You yell out as you head towards, and then past him, as he dodges you completely. “GYAH NO!” You scream out as you slam and slide along the ground, eating dirt. Fuck…
“That was a new one.” Lance said to himself as he looked back at you, surprised you would even try such a move when he was now expecting everything. And yet, as he looked at you, your sword suddenly fell onto his head, striking him. The sword must have flung out of the ground and into the air towards him. “What?! Oh no!” Lance yelled out as he rubbed at his head, looking at your sword. “How unexpected! Again, I make a foolish mistake. I was so entranced by what looked like a silly mistake, I failed to notice the truth of the attack. This Anon is quite the combat genius. I must be even more cautious. Even now, he acts a fool, and yet his cunning fills my mind.”
Oh god, you ate a worm, didn’t you! You were spitting up and trying to get the taste out of your mouth. Sheesh!
After a few moments of that, the next round came. Despite you crashing into the ground, you got another point! And this time, the peanut gallery seemed impressed. Diamond nodded to herself as she looked to Ocellus and Scootaloo. “That’s the Anon I know, smart enough to calculate his sword striking Mr. Scimitar.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that. How do you think Anon knew the sword would hit Lance?” Ocellus asked, as she never knew you to be that smart before.
“I’ve seen Anon pull off awesome moves before. Did you see him planning when he brought his shield up? He was probably having that rare moment he gets where he calculates everything.” Scootaloo said as she nodded to herself. “It has to be that, there is no other way. I knew he’d take my advice and take things seriously.” She actually didn’t, but she felt it looked better if she said it, as it did seem you did in fact take it, when you didn’t at first. But she had it in the back of her mind that it was a fluke as well.
Diamond rolled her eyes. “Anon doesn’t need advice. But that first round, ugh, sometimes I forget he isn’t as refined as he should be. I’ll fix that sooner or later, I don’t want other snooty ponies looking down on him just because he can be a bit of a slob. A cute slob, but sometimes just a slob.”
“Oh, do you think that’s possible? Anon usually does his own thing quite a bit. He never sits around in one spot for too long” Ocellus says.
“I can do anything. I’m Diamond Tiara after all. Now shush, the next round is starting!” Diamond said excitingly, ready to see you win. “All Anon needs is one more point!”
“Ready? Anon? Go! And do not hold back, as you are on the cusp of victory!” Lance shouted as he rushed towards you once more, his strikes were as fast and furious as before, and this time, he was playing for keeps. “I am more aware of your chaotic style now! You will need more than mere tricks to defeat me!”. Lance seemed to be more into it now, every strike more passionate than the last.
As before, he had you on the defensive. You either dodged, used your barrier, or did your best to deflect his attacks. Dammit, how were you going to get through this this time? You tried finding an opening, but the guy was even faster than before. Even worse, it looked like your barrier was beginning to shatter the more he struck it. Was the horn, without its charges, simply on ‘backup’ power? If this keeps up, you’re done for.
Yipes! You jump back when he nearly plants his sword between your eyes. Dammit! You were beginning to sweat, and yet, he was fine, and relentless to boot! You were panting in between defensive blocks, and yet you had no way of breaking his attack. You had to think of something quick, and at the time you were thinking, you thought of what a jedi would do. Aha! Of course, with enough spin of your sword, there’s no way he’d be able to block it! You jump back, and continue to jump back before focusing on your sword to make it spin as fast as you can. As soon as it looked like a visual buzzsaw, you threw it towards him like a frisbee. Ha! There’s no way he can block that!
Unlike before, Lance catches on to this quickly and jumps back, sticking his sword out as he aimed it with one eye. As soon as your blade came close, he used his magic to stab his sword into the middle of the spinning blade, and began to slowly spin the end of his own sword, controlling yours like a stick in a hoop. Once he had control of the spin, he made your sword fly upwards as he rushed up towards you. You were so perplexed by him blocking your sword that you didn’t even realize he was rushing right towards you. He swipes his sword so hard at you that he sends you backwards, rolling you onto your back.
SHIT! HE BROKE THROUGH! HE GOT A POINT! Two points to two points! How?! How did he even manage to break that super spinny sword attack?! It was perfect! And yet…
You look back at the girls, and you could see it, hopelessness and despair in their eyes. Even Diamond was covering her face, as if they suddenly decided that move was enough for them to think you might lose. But why? How could you be losing after making two amazing points? Dammit! You slowly get up as you eye Lance. The guy was probably laughing to himself, thinking he was going to win. But when you actually looked at him, he actually seemed… Upset? ”Lance? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Lance stuck his sword into the ground, and sighed as he looked towards the horizon. “I feel as if you are holding back. I understand why you would, but to throw your sword at me again? Even with that spin, any good fighter knows anypony can deflect it with skill. I feel as if you don’t take me seriously. Little Hero Colt, I came here to have a truly great fight, not to be pitied upon.”
What in the fuck is he talking about? “What do you even mean by that?” Was he mocking you? Was that it?! This fucking guy!
“Have I not made it clear? Do you not believe fighters speak to each other through their actions in combat? Anon, I can tell you are taking it easy on me, as no true fighter would make such pathetic mistakes. I chose you, Anon, I chose you because unlike the princesses, unlike Starswirl, unlike the six who protect Equestria time and time again, you do it all on your own, just like Masked Valiant! For many a moon, I had waited to meet and do battle with that who lives a double life. Who converses, and even lives, with one so shady, when in truth, he is a hero to the core! Perhaps it is a silly dream, as I know the Masked Valiant is not real. But even though he is not, I feel what he stands for is. And you, Anon, I feel understands what he stands for, even if you never watched a single film! To win because you let me, that would be most shameful. If I am to win, or to lose, I want it to be at your most capable. I want to see why they call you the Hero Colt! Show it to me!” Lance yelled out. There was deep passion in his voice, a sort of passion… That seemed familiar.
He reminded you of… You. He lived through the Masked- Wait a second, that’s fucking Zorro. He’s talking about fucking Zorro, and he didn’t even fight alone all the time. Ok, well, he mostly did. Whatever, forget that. This guy, he lived through pony Zorro, he wanted to be just like him. If anything, if Discord’s theory is truly correct, then out there, somewhere, is an actual place where Masked Valiant exists in some form. This guy, he’d probably be the happiest guy in the world to be able to join up or spar with him. He was facing you because that was the closest he was ever going to get. You were the lone hero, and yet… The only reason you get anywhere is due to your horn. This guy, he worked for it, he worked hard to get so good. All he wanted out of you was a good fight, and yet, you were the one being a schmuck.
As you look at the girls, with them wondering what you were doing, Diamond even calling out to you now a half hopeful “You can do it!”. It made you realize that these girls really did want you to win. In fact, you didn’t know where it was coming from, but it felt like even a cosmic force was calling out to you to win. You look at your sword however, how could you win? How could you give this guy, this guy who has actually respected you, even revered you, the fight he desperately craves? You’re no sword fighter, you don’t know the first real thing about it. You had no charges, not like any other spell would win the day for you anyway. The only way you’ve scored a point was by surprising him, something that was clearly not going to work this time. You’d need something truly chaotic to take the last point.
Wait, chaotic? That was what your talent was, right? Your cutie mark. You were right, you couldn’t win this fight with sword skills, you basically had none. But what about through chaos? Could you win? Could you win by simply doing what no one would ever do, at near random, doing moves that seemingly make no sense? You had an advantage in your small size, and even disadvantages. And yet, you could make even those disadvantages into advantages. Couldn’t you?
This guy, all he wanted was a good fight. And to be able to give it to him, all you had to do was fight like someone who didn’t know what he was doing, but did, didn’t, but actually did. You look back at the girls, with one of the most serious stares you ever had. You look to Diamond specifically, and simply nod. Just like that, she is suddenly stunned, as she brings her hooves to her heart, as if she suddenly understood what you meant. Ocellus herself seemed suddenly stunned. And Scoots? Poor Scoots, she was just confused. You then look to Lance, and bow towards him. “Mr. Scimitar, you’re mostly right. I haven’t been taking this fight as seriously as I should be. In fact, I think I truly understand how you feel now. I know the feeling you’re feeling all too well, in my own sense. Please, take up your sword one more time. I’m ready for you this time.”
“Perhaps I should be somewhat hurt by your words. But to know in this climactic moment, that you will give it your all? Yes, it is the moment I have truly been waiting for.” Lance raises his sword and runs his hoof through his beard only once before entering a battle stance. “This is it, Anon, by your word. We will have our true dance of fate, where only one will leave! I mean this figuratively, but it truly sounds like something that would be said in a Masked Valiant film!”
This was it, Anon. Do not try to sword fight him for the win, just do what you do best, be chaotic. That is how you’ll receive victory. “En Guarde!”
You knew he was a better sword fighter than you, you had to remember that, you only needed to hit him once, that’s all. To do that, you simply had to keep blindsiding him until he made a mistake, without being overwhelmed yourself. You rush towards him to engage him in a trade of strikes, knowing you can’t outdo him. With a stab, he parries. With his slash, you jump back. Both of you are in a flurry of strikes, but his was better, and he was sending you back. That’s fine, that’s ok, concentrate on defense, until…
Your sword then enters another clash with his, only this time, without thinking, you go and jump towards your sword’s hilt to grab it within your mouth. If you were right, your weight and size wouldn’t be enough to push back his magic anyway, and…
Indeed, he forces his sword out with his magic, sending you flying backwards. Keep going, Anon, don’t even think about it! Like before, you throw your sword like a buzzsaw, using your magic to keep it in a spin. Lance had to look up in the sky this time, the sun obscuring his vision as he prepared to deflect your sword like he did before.
Fuck that shit, you spin in mid air, and dive down head first as his sword makes contact with yours and begins to control and spin it to deflect. With the sun in his eyes, his movement is a little slower. And to him, you’d dare not try to approach from the air, you’d not be able to land properly without risk of being hit. He didn’t know you at all.
“HYYYAH!” You scream out as you dive right towards the swords, and manage to catch the hilt of his sword in your mouth as you lean your head forward, crashing down with the force to create a small crater. Lance was caught in surprise and jumps back as your own sword spins backwards and lands behind you. He almost went to check if you were ok, but this was you and your head, you were fine. You push back with your hooves, jump backwards with a spin, and pluck your sword from the ground with your magic as you held on to his sword with your mouth. You spit it out and catch it within your telekinesis. You enter a battle stance, and point both swords at him.
“Wow…” Diamond said in a whisper, as hearts practically appeared in her eyes. “I knew he was holding back.”
“Anon… Woah, he’s taking this super seriously. Look at him, you can feel it. It’s something totally different from how he usually is.” Scootaloo said, shocked, and enthralled.
“I can feel something. It’s, it doesn’t feel like him at all. What’s going on? It’s amazing.” Ocellus had no idea how to feel, she had never seen you like this before.
“I think I have. I’ve seen Anon get serious against his own tantabus. And during our final training exam, Anon suddenly changed, he became different. He figured out a way to save me, even if it meant him burning to a crisp. Maybe, when he was in that other Equestria, this is how he was like too. This is it, isn’t it? This is super serious Anon. mmmmngh! GO, ANON! YOU CAN DO IT!” Scootaloo jumped up with a cheer.
Lance said nothing, though, the energy in his eyes, this was fueling him. This is what he wanted all along, and even without his swords, he wasn’t counting himself out yet. As for you, this guy, he had to be good even without swords. Just because you had two of them meant nothing, and you had to remember that. But how good was he? You look at him with fierce determination, this was it. “TAAAKE THIS!” You yell out as you rush towards him, swinging both swords around in a flurry as you attempt to see his technique.
Just as you predicted, he was weaving, dodging, and rolling like a pro as you swung upwards, downwards, and side to side. Even when you stabbed towards him, he moved like water. You were going to tire out before him if you kept this up. You jump back, both swords at the ready, and observe him as he slowly walks to the side, eyeing you. You expected him to say something, but he said nothing. Indeed, this was the last point, there was no room for smacktalk.
He was going to dodge everything you had, and upon a mistake, he was going to counter and take your swords or outright hit you. Well then, let’s make that mistake.
You rush towards Lance, and as soon as you get in melee range, you do a cross-slash with both swords at the same time, prompting him to jump up above the slash and towards you with front hooves at the ready. What he wasn’t expecting though was the fact you kept running, without stopping to even think. Lance brings his hooves down to try to smash you, but due to your running, you actually dodge it with ease. As you kept running forward, you managed to get out of his range. Now was the time! You take one of the swords and throw it towards him as he turns around. THIS WAS IT!
THIS WAS NOT IT! Lance was quick to turn around, and while it wasn’t enough time to stop and catch the sword outright to use against you, he still quickly used his telekinesis to redirect the sword back at you. SHIT! You jump back onto your backside as the sword nearly makes contact with your crotch. Shit! Ok, that was close! It was a good thing you weren’t at point blank range, but that sADASD OH SHIT, HE’S COMING!
He was going to take advantage of your downed state, and take you down. What do you do?! WHAT?! Fuck it, don’t think! You just needed to be quick! How do you quick? HOW DO YOU QUICK?! Wait, the sword, the other sword, the fact the sword was already sticking out of the ground! GO!
Holding one sword with your teeth, you grab onto the sword stuck into the ground right, onto its hilt, and pull back for another launch, using as much force as you could with your hooves until the sword finally gave way and launched you forward. With the other sword in your mouth in tow, you try to slash at him as you pass by, but you miss. Lance looked back at you, bewildered for a moment that you came that close to hitting him with your sudden attack. The only reason he was able to dodge the sword was because he had already seen you pull this trick once. And then when he turned back, he was expecting the other sword to be falling down towards him. But instead, it was already flying right into his face like a spear, striking him and sending him to the ground.
You could hear the cheers, you were on fucking fire, you did it! Holy shit, as you flew into the air, you could hear that you won. That final move, you knew you’d miss with your launch. But, if you grabbed the other sword with your magic right after launch, and pulled it with you as you flew, you knew he’d have never seen it coming in time, like a second gun being shot immediately after the first. You did it! Anon! You can hear the cheers now! Though, the cheers now sounded like screams of horror for some reason, from multiple mares, and also broken glass, and Mr. Rich yelling out to get you out of the oven. Huh, suddenly, everything was kinda dark too, and glowy. Did you fly right into the house? And why was your tail on fire? And your mane? HOLY FUCK, YOU WERE ON FIRE!
“...Honeylamb, ah swear, he just went flying through the window and into the oven. He didn’t just wander in like some curious jackrabbit.” Said a familiar voice, Mr. Rich?
“How does anypony just fly into an oven right when you open it to put a cake in? Which, by the way, I’m still angry about. Do you know how humiliating it is to promise a delicious coconut cake and not have it?” Another familiar voice. Had to be Mrs. Rich.
“He just did? And ah know you’re angry about that, but what about Anon? He got burned worse than a chicken egg's yolk in a red hot pan.” Mr. Rich said, sounding rather worried about you. “I really think we should have taken him to the hospital.”
“Oh yes, let’s do that. Never mind the fact that we nearly ended up burning him to a crisp… Again, but let’s cause a lot of negative publicity while we’re at it too.” Mrs. Rich said with an aggravated sigh. “WE already converted the study into a room for him to rest, and we hired the best doctors to look after him. The very best.”
“I dunno, darlin’. Don’t you think it sounds like we’re just trying to cover our own rears here?” Mr. Rich asked, feeling rather uncomfortable.
“That’s exactly what we’re doing. But I hope you aren’t thinking I don’t have a heart. He’s our future son-in-law, any doctor that is less than the best is not worth his or our time. It’s also why I had the study converted, so he’d have plenty of room to breath and have a nice cozy fire to keep him warm, unlike those frigid hospital rooms. And if that changeling is as learned as she says she is, then she and the maids will have a feast waiting for him when he recovers.” Mrs. Rich says
“Did you really have to do that? Makes me feel like we’re taking advantage of her.” Mr. Rich said, still sounding rather subdued
“She was happy to do it for free, and I still decided to pay her. And besides, if she’s anything like that changeling who lives on Sweet Apple Acres, then she understands quality.” Mrs. Rich suddenly lets out a longful sigh. “I really wished he’d pretend to be you. Rubbing a chessmaster’s trophy in those snooty unicorns’ faces sounds wonderful, don’t you think?”
“W-well, that ain’t exactly honest.” Mr. Rich said with a gulp. “Especially since that ain’t me to begin with. Don’t you think it’d feel a little empty just marchin’ around with a trophy you didn’t earn?”
“Probably, but that isn’t the point, now is it? In any case… Do you think he’ll be alright? The doctors say the burns aren’t terrible, and that the marks on his head are even negligible. But he’s been sleeping for hours, they don’t know when he’ll wake up.” Mrs. Rich said, as she suddenly became more empathetic, worried about you.
“Now, Sweetie Pie, you know Anon, he’s probably just restin’. Ain’t no fire gonna take him out. Now, I know that look. You’re itchen to read him a story, just like our little Diamond would get sick, when she was even littler.” Mr. Rich said in a soft tone. Despite all that, he wasn’t even angry at her. Just took his lumps, just like he said he would.
“Mmmmm, yes. The doctors don’t know if he’s in pain or not, so maybe it’ll help soothe him and-” But she is interrupted by a nurse who seemed to also be in the room.
“Ok, first of all, I already asked you both to leave the room three times. And second of all, Anon is awake, he has been for a few minutes now. Y’know, when he is SUPPOSED to be getting rest.” The nurse said, aggravated with the both of them.
God, you could barely see, you couldn’t even tell what the nurse actually looked like. But you could hear the conversation. You wanted to get up to walk around, maybe orient yourself. But you also found it impossible to move, as some of your skin tingled, as if it should hurt more. Perhaps the doctors had hit you with pain medication earlier, as you could tell one thing, you were nearly as wrapped up in bandages like that of a typical mummy. “Y-yeah, she’s right. How long was I out? What happened? I remember fire, and a door opening…” God, you almost remember it like the opening of the gates of hell.
“That isn’t important now, Anon. We need you to get your rest. We still have to have the doctor look you over again to assess any mental trauma you may have gotten. As well as making sure no permanent damage was done to your eyes.” The nurse said.
“I don’t care about that! Geez, if I’m just burned up, I’ll just peel my skin off when midnight hits.” You groan. Geez, if it was just burn wounds, then it wouldn’t be a problem. If you were right, peeling your skin off with chaos magic should make you as good as new.
“What?! You know that’s not how it works, right?!” The nurse yelled out, in shock.
You then hear Mr. Rich let out a hearty laugh. “It’s how it works for him, it’s all thanks to that little horn hanging from his neck. Welcome back to the waking world, Anon. Ya feelin alright, son?”
“Sorta? I feel tingly, and I can’t move. Did I really fly into an oven? What happened to Lance?” You ask.
“Well, I guess that really did happen then. Yes, you flew right into our oven. You were in there, from what I understand, around three minutes. You’re very lucky you weren't hurt any worse, Anon. But then again, I’d expect nothing less from my son-in-law. As for Mr. Scimitar, well, he, your friends, and my Diamond Tiara have been waiting for you to wake up all this time. If you’re ok to see them, of course.” Mrs. Rich says, seemingly pleased with you being awake and mentally ok.
“Well, erm, I can’t really see too well right now, especially with one of these bandages over my eyes. But I think I’m well enough to see them. I mean, I don’t look too bad, do I?” You asked, rather innocently.
“Look, I can’t allow this. The patient is still badly burnt, on pain suppressors, and is obviously delirious.” The nurse says “You can’t just heal burned skin by peeling it off.”
“Listen, lady, I’m the freaking hero colt, and the son of Discord. I can move the sun and moon on a whim, I could change you into a tangerine, I could even make Superman 64 into a good game. So yeah, I can heal myself by peeling my skin. At midnight, but still, I can do it.” Like christ, who the hell did she think she was speaking to?
“W-wait? You’re Anon, THE Anon? Oh, Celestia…” The nurse suddenly began to stammer “I’m going to excuse myself now, and let the doctor know what’s going on. D-don’t worry, we’ll make sure he’s quite comfortable until midnight hits. N-no reason to tell his father, r-right? W-wouldn’t want him to, er, erm… BYE!” The nurse let out before running out of the room, obviously fearful of Discord’s status. Odd, perhaps she had heard about Discord’s shenanigans before from your prior visits to the hospital. Guess she just didn't want to deal with his wrath, not like he'd care over something like this.
“Coward. As if he’s anything to worry about. But that’s fine, it means we can do as we wish. I’ll go fetch the others..” Mrs. Rich said.
“Er, hun, now hold on.” Although you could barely see it, Mr. Rich turned to you to ask a question. “Now, Anon, I believe you can do this whole skin peelin’ thing and all. But are ya sure you’re actually well enough for this? Ah don’t want my little Diamond to continue her sobbin’, but ah want to make sure you have the energy tis all. Should ask the doctor about that, but I have a feelin’ they might just say anything that ain't gonna upset you.” Mr. Rich said.
“Bah, like I said, cowards. You can expect I’ll be getting our money back.” Mrs. Rich comments.
“Yeah, I can do it. But, er, like I asked before, I don’t look too bad, do I? I don’t wanna scare Diamond away and all.” You ask. Man, you hoped you didn’t looked like some melted monster or anything like that.
“Aside from the bandages, missin’ patches of fur, some burnt skin, and an ashy tail, you don’t really look that bad. If anything, the bandages make ya look worse than you probably are. Well, mostly, doctor did say you’re on pain suppressors, so maybe it’s worse?” Mr. Rich seemed a little off there. He was obviously trying to make you sound better off than you looked, or something like that.
“He’s visibly fine, the bandages cover up anything that might seem unsightly. Though, Anon…” Mrs. Rich sighed. “Is there any way this little matter can stay between us? I’m sure you understand the negative connotation if word gets out about this.”
“I mean, I get it. Plus, I guess Diamond would have to deal with it too if this turned into a bigger deal than it needed to be. Besides, I don’t need my Aunt Fluttershy finding out. She’d either get super worried, super angry, or both, and I’d just rather not worry her, especially since this isn’t anything I can’t handle. I’ve dealt with worse.” You explain. If you can deal with shattered bones, you can deal with this.
“Thank you, I knew I didn’t have to explain things to you. Come along, dear, we have some cake business to attend to. Let’s leave Anon to his friends. Oh, but Anon, if you need anything, do feel free to call my husband, alright?” Mrs. Rich says to you.
Man, poor guy. Mrs. Rich really did have him wrapped around her hoof. Hell, should you be mad at her, given her attitude thus far? Nah, sure she seemed to not care too much, but you knew she did, in her own way. “No problem, Mrs. Rich!”
And with that, Mr. and Mrs. Rich vacated the room. The first to enter was Lance, though he was garbed in a weird Arabian hat, blue scarf, and some...man, does this guy have a sheath for his horn and beard? If you could actually get a better look at them, you’d probably be curious to give it a tug and see if his beard makes little metal noises, like when unsheathing a sword. “Little Hero Colt? Oh…” Lance cringed, from his view, you were a wrapped up little colt with minor visible burns and some missing fur and hair wherever the bandages didn't cover. “Are you really sure this is a good time to be seeing you? The Riches say yes, but I’m not so sure.”
You slowly nod at him. “It’s fine. Ummm, I mean…” Man, you barely knew this guy. What do you say? “Erm, so, uh? What’s up?”
“I do believe the ceiling, Anon. Haha!” Lance let’s out a boisterous laugh. “Even with injuries most hot, you persevere! To think, purposely throwing yourself in a way that would land you in an oven, just to defeat me. Indeed, even at my best, I could have never seen it coming. Straight out of ‘The Two Masks’, where Masked Valiant had to use moves most unorthodox to defeat his false doppelganger, Masked Desperado! His last move, dropping a hanging box of weights onto both he and himself, just to stop his equally adversary. Yes, most genius. I can truly see why you are a colt of chaos!”
You shift your eyes left and right. You didn’t mean to land in a fucking oven, but whatever, it was probably a move so genius even you didn’t realize it. Or you just didn’t calculate it at all into your already ‘on the spot’ planning. “Er, yeah. Haha! Um, I mean, you’re really good with a sword, Lance. I had to come up with some way to beat you. Chaos style, there isn’t anything like it in Equestria. But uh, besides that, I mean, I was pretty good with a sword too, right?”
“Well, no” Lance said bluntly “By tournament rules, you’d have been disqualified many a time. And your form is, shall I say, truly abysmal. Any one of my more well trained students could have disarmed you or stabbed you multiple times. But ah, when it comes to free form combat, you are truly great. As I said, nopony who is anypony would have suspected such movements. It was like you just threw them together at the last minute. Yes, it seems I will have to further improve myself, test my reflexes further, be able to react to even the most obtuse of strategies. You have taught me quite a lot, Anon. In return, I promise to make your sweet love as good with a sword as you are in your ‘Chaos Style’.”
WUT?! You weren’t that bad, were you?! Ugh, normally you’d bite back about that, but you were tired, and this guy just really respected you so much that you couldn't be angry. Bah, Anon, get over it, you suck with a sword, you ain’t no Dante. You had to acknowledge that this guy was the real deal, a true swordmaster. It almost made you feel bad, actually. Makes you wish you had better skill with a sword to incorporate with your already chaotic moveset. “I mean, you’re really awesome with a sword. I admit, I don’t think I could beat you if I had to fight any other way. And using my magic doesn’t count towards that either, since uh, I can bend reality with it. You’re the real deal, Lance. You showed me a lot today. About honor and stuff, and uh, I guess about taking your opponent more seriously.”
Lance does a bow as he smiles warmly towards you. “It fills me with much joy to hear you say that. You have done me a great honor this day, and I am truly in your debt.”
“Nah, it’s fine. Though, that kind of makes me wonder, if you were looking for a guy like me to fight like we did. Then have you also been looking for someone worthy of your sword skills?” You ask.
“Ah, quite a deduction, and the answer is yes. Being a champion, not many are able to fight at my level. And from my understanding, Equestrian royalty use magic over weapons.” Lance explains.
“Well, actually, I think Prince Shining Armor does use a sword. Since he was also a royal guard and all that.” You say.
“Yes, I have heard. But given I have never heard of him ever winning a fight on his own against a powerful adversary, or winning a fight with a weapon in general against another skilled swordspony, I feel it would be a wild goose chase to face off against him. In fact, have you ever noticed that whenever a disaster befalls Equestria, the royal guards are NEVER able to fight off the threat? Hrn, very strange.” Lance said as he began to ponder on it.
“Yeah…” Of course you noticed that, they were all damned useless. “Oh, what about the uh? Old six? The pillars? I dunno what they're called. But I think Flash Magnus uses a sword, or was that a shield? I know Rockhoof uses like a shovel or hammer or something, I dunno. Whatever, you’d have to do research on that.”
“Hrn, it would be a great honor to have a duel with the pillars of old, especially given they have returned to Equestria without any sign of wear and tear. Ah, but that would be for another time. For now, Anon, I leave you to your friends and love, for I have already taken up much of your precious time. Thank you, once again, for that glorious battle.” Lance says with a bow.
“Hey, no problem. And thanks for teaching Diamond for free and stuff, I know she really appreciates it too.” You say.
“Not a problem. And now, I AM OFF!” Lance yells out as he turns around and fucking runs out the door, like some hero making an exit. Damn, that guy was eccentric. ‘Masked Valiant’ huh? If he’s as good as Zorro, then you can see why he enjoyed the films so much.
Next to see you was Scootaloo and Ocellus. Your vision was slowly coming back at this point with the one eye that wasn’t covered by bandages. You thought they’d be more worried about you, but it seems they weren't too affected by your injuries. You were sure that they were aware you could heal this off with no issues. “Hey guys, hope I didn’t scare you with the whole oven thing.” You say with a chuckle.
“I was very worried. But Mr. and Mrs. Rich said you were going to use your magic later to heal yourself. Erm, you can actually do that, right? If I remember, chaos does have some limitations, namely when it gets close to becoming harmonic.” Ocellus said. Well, she looked half worried to be honest. And she was looking rather adorable as she sported a chef’s hat and a few spots of cake batter on her body.
“Yeah, of course he can. This is Anon, anything Discord can do is something he can pretty much do.” Scootaloo says with confidence, before looking at you with a sudden unsure look. “Right?”
“Er, I’m pretty sure. Ripping skin off sounds like something you wouldn’t do to a gigantic burn wound, so, yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it's chaotic enough. So, what did you guys think of the fight?” You were curious for their opinions. Given how Lance reacted, you wanted to know how two people not enamored with pony Zorro would react.
“With Lance? Well, er, at first it was kind of embarrassing. No offense, but you were doing a lot of moves that the film me and Diamond watched said not to do. But then, that’s the crazy part. On the last part of the fight, the final point, you just suddenly changed. I can’t really put my hoof on it, but it was like when we both nearly got toast during the exam. You became super focused and knew exactly what to do to win and survive. You became completely different. Like, the film describes that you have to flow like water when it comes to sword fighting, but you were flowing like air. Erm, before bursting into flames anyway.” Scootaloo, on that note, then began to ponder. “Kinda makes me think that you only pull off your super skills on the trade off that you end up in some kind of fiery scenario. I mean, that’s how chaos works, right?”
Your eye twitched at that. At first that angered you, but then your mind flickered to confusion, and then suddenly even you pondered on it. Did you become super amazing due to some kind of luck that gets you burnt to a crisp right after? Storm Ravager doesn’t count due to Discord’s ‘boost’ thing. But then when he was the Storm King, and you and Tempest were free falling, you could have possibly burned up in the atmosphere. No, bah, why are you even thinking about this? It’s stupid. “No, it’s just coincidence, and not even a comparable one. It’s more like just a fluke.”
“I have to agree with Anon, he has the strangest luck I’ve ever seen. But then, I guess that’s what is really chaotic about him. Wild things just seem to happen out of his control, for better and for worse.” Ocellus said with a sigh, looking at you with a gentle smile. “I’m just glad the ‘worse’ part never seems to last. But doesn’t it hurt? The burns I mean.”
“Nah, the docs got me on some kind of pain meds. I’ll be fine, really. Also, I should probably practice this way of fighting. If it worked that well on a guy like Lance, then I bet a perfected version could take out anyone, especially mixed with my chaos magic. Heck, I could use my wings and my special grappling hook too and turn it into the perfect fighting style. Yeah, that actually sounds pretty cool.” You said, with a nod to yourself. With the ability to fly, and the use of your Starlight Hook, you could thrash nearly any threat before you even thought of using a charge.
“Perfect? Nah, that’d be the way Rainbow Dash fights. She still has more wins on big bad guys than you do, Anon. But I bet if you trained under her a little more and learned her style, you’d become unstoppable to everything but the elements of harmony.” Scootaloo says, still defending her hero as if you were somehow weaker than her. And even then, ‘elements of harmony’, as in she probably felt that Rainbow and the other five could demolish you with their silly rainbow beam. Bah, you’d dodge it.
In fact, why not just fight Dash with just the basics of your horn and the tools you have? No fuck it, you don’t even need the tools. Just slap on the wings and take her on one on one. You have never seen Rainbow fight particularly well on the show, not in some amazing way anyway, you could take her. “Bah, I think I could take her, without my horn too. I’d just use my wings to keep things even.”
“Well, that didn’t last long.” Ocellus said suddenly. Although you both didn’t know what she was remarking about, it didn’t stop those words from being on the nose about your arrogance coming back after not underestimating your opponent. Ocellus knew you were taking things seriously for that last round, but also knew your seriousness wouldn't last.
“What didn’t last long?” You ask.
“N-nothing!” Ocellus said with a nervous gulp. “Anyway. Instead of wanting to fight or anything like that, how about we, ummmm, talk about erm, Pizza! Actually, when we’re done talking with you, Anon, I was preparing you a meal you’d really like, similar to what you’re used to. Erm, or was used to being used to from your own world, which we have in this world. Kind of weird actually, but I guess some foods are really universal. Anway, I'm making pizza, soda, cinnamon rolls, and hayfries! They’ll be in small portions though, just enough to make you full. I wouldn’t want you to get sick from it since it’s sort of unhealthy.”
Dammit! Fuck, you wanted to tell her you don’t care about that. But then again, considering she was making it for you because you were hurt...
Bah, you couldn’t complain, especially since it sounded so tasty. “Eh, that’s fine. Thanks, Ocellus. You didn’t have to do that for me.”
“Oh, but I did. Considering there was no way you’d be able to make dinner on your own, somecreature had to provide you something. And given your injuries, I just felt it’d have to be something you really enjoy to help you feel better.” Ocellus said, with such genuine enthusiasm that it made you wonder if she was even capable of lying about anything.
You sigh, and lay your head down. “Thanks, Ocellus. That means a lot to me. Oh, how is Diamond right now? Is she ok?”
“Not really, she’s been the most anxious to see you. But she also wanted to see you last so she wouldn’t hold anypony else up. Actually, since we know you’re ok, do you just want to see her? We can catch up tomorrow! In fact, Ocellus is pretty cool and was telling me more about the group you hang with at school. If you want, we could all meet at the clubhouse to hang out. Well, maybe not in the clubhouse, I don’t think we can all fit. But around it maybe? That way the girls and I could show what it means to be a Cutie Mark Crusader! Who knows, it might even help you all with Friendship School!” Scootaloo said, rather excited about the concept.
You, however, were not. But given your situation, and that everyone was in good spirits. Meh, as long as Sweetie Belle doesn’t act the shit, then maybe, just maybe, it’ll be fine. If anything, the admiration from Silverstream and Cozy Glow will have them on her ass should she say anything negative about you. “Y-yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”
“Oh, that actually sounds like a great idea. I’m sure the others would be up for it. I’m actually surprised Anon has never offered us a chance to visit his other friends at all. Anon, why haven’t you?” Ocellus asked, curious.
“Er, it never came to mind?” Like seriously, you have so many friends at this point that it didn’t seem feasible to just have them meet each other.
“I don’t mean this in a mean way, but that makes sense coming from you.” Scootaloo said. “But hey, better late than never, am I right? Oh, wait, Anon, before we go. I have to ask, when you get really good at being super serious, are you going to become like, unstoppable? I-I mean to other bad guys, of course. I dunno what it is, but seeing a jerk like Tirek be slapped around by a foal would be pretty funny.” Scootaloo said, looking into your eyes with hope and humor. It was kind of odd for her to ask such a question. Why even ask it?
“I dunno. With my magic, sure. But without it? I’d have to be able to know every move he’s about to pull and hope he isn’t too jacked on magic to shrug off everything I throw at him. Then again, I don’t know how he’d handle a magical shock from my grappling hook. So, maybe? Meh, probably, the guy didn’t seem that smart. He only got so far because of Dad.” And like Discord, he pretty much stood still as he got rainbow’d. So maybe you stood a chance.
“Maybe, huh? That’s still cool that you have a chance. I mean, Rainbow Dash could do it with rainbow power, but by herself? Mnnngh, yeah, I know she actually couldn’t beat him on her own. Then again, maybe he’s just that tough that you need teamwork to beat him. So if you couldn’t, you and Rainbow Dash could do it together. Orrrr!” Suddenly, a thought hits Scootaloo that makes her excited. “You and me could do it if I manage to learn more about sword fighting from Lance! And since Diamond is too, we could be, like, the three super awesome friends! Or the three alternate crusaders! Cutie Mark Crusaders by day, alternate crusaders by… Also day. I guess I’d have to work on it, but it sounds pretty cool, right?” Scootaloo said, hoping you’d agree. “And Scrappy could be our mascot, and still help beat the bad guys too! It’d be perfect!”
That sounds fucking terrible. “I mean, anything can happen.” Fuck you, Anon, why did you even entertain the thought if you thought it was terrible?!
“Yeah! Anything can, you’re absolutely right! Ok, alright then! Hey Ocellus, let me help you make that food for Anon, that way we can finish early and ask Mr. Scimitar for more lessons.” Scootaloo said to her.
“What? We? I thought you just wanted Diamond and Anon.” Ocellus was surprised, especially when the earlier vibes she had felt from Scootaloo seemed a little negative towards her.
“Yeah, but why a trio when you can have a whole team? You’re pretty cool, and you’re like a version of Scrappy who, erm, doesn’t act like a dog? It’s complicated to explain. But yeah, c’mon, it’ll be fun!” Scootaloo said.
“No, I really rather not. I-it’s nothing against you, I just don’t really like the idea of fighting, especially with weapons.” Yep, Ocellus was truly a soft bug.
“Oh, alright…” Scootaloo said with a disappointed sigh. But she didn’t stay down for long. “I’ll still help with the food though. But I can at least eat whatever’s extra, right?” Scootaloo asked.
“Of course, I don’t mind making extra if the Riches don’t mind me using a little more of their ingredients. We’ll have to ask them about that, of course.” Ocellus said.
“Fine with me, pizza always tastes great. Hey, Anon, you take care of yourself, ok? And make sure you do that whole magic heal thing the first chance you get.” Scootaloo said to you, giving you a near stern motherly look.
“Heh, no problem, you both take care too, ok?” You say to them, giving them a weak wave,
“We will!” they both say to you as they go off to tell Diamond to see you, and then go make your delicious food.
Finally, it was time to see Diamond Tiara. You could already hear her light sobbing as she entered the room. Poor thing, she must think you were burned to a crisp. Just be gentle, Anon, look at her and smile so she knows you’re ok. As you turn to look at her, she locks her eyes with your one visible eye, starts to cry and rushes towards you. OH SHIT! “Diamond! Diamond! WSASDSDSS” And immediately, she snuggles onto you, crying. Welp, the pain meds couldn’t help with this, the pressing of your body made your eyes open wide as you stiffened and then shook before howling in pain.
“Anon!” Diamond yelled in surprise before hopping off the bed. “Anon! Oh no! No! Is it getting worse?!”
“N-ngh, unnnghhh…” Oh god, she was too fast, you didn’t even get a chance to tell her to slow down. “I-I’m fine, I-I just… Well, that hug sort of hurt, y’know, cause of the burns?”
“Sort of hurt?” Suddenly Diamond begins to give you the stink eye and stomps back towards you, looking directly into your eye. “Sort of hurt?! Then why didn’t you tell me before I came and hugged you?! I’ve been worried all this time and you just let me make it worse! Darn it, Anon, you’re supposed to be better than that!”
WUT?! WUT?! Dammit, you give her a a bit of an angry eye yourself before you notice the small bit of tears in her own expression. Goddammit, finnnneee. “S-sorry, erm, but weren’t you told I could fix myself up with my magic?”
“Hmph, of course I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be worried. Anon, if your magic can do that, why not call your dad instead to fix you up right now? You got that ear caller thing, don’t you?” Diamond asked, perplexed as to why you didn’t call Discord for help.
Oh, you knew exactly why. Friends you may be, but the guy will either give you a freebie, or utterly mock you for launching yourself into an oven before making some sort of deal for the heals. And given your chances, it’d most likely be the latter. “I do, but I’d rather not let Dad know. I don't want to worry him.”
“Worry him? I don’t think he’d be worried, Anon. He’d probably just heal you up and make you go do a prank with him or something. As long as it doesn’t make a fool of the princesses or my family and friends, then that’s nothing to worry about. In fact, if you won’t call him…” Diamond looks up, sits down, and brings her hooves to her mouth to call out “Daddy Discord!”
Seriously? That’s not gonna work. “Diamond, c’mon, don’t do that. It’ll be fine, I promise.”
“Daddy Discord!” Diamond called out again
Ugh… “Diamond, I promise. I mean, your parents are kinda worried and stuff so they’ll probably let me stay the night. We can cuddle together and-”
But you are cut off as she yells out another “DADDDDY DISSSCCCOOORRDD!”
Geezes, you almost swore some glass shattered with that last one. “D-diamond, c’mon, it’s not gonna-” And once again, you are interrupted as the room begins to tremble. Oh what the fuck!?
The fireplace suddenly begins to open wider, like a mouth. The flames turned a ghastly blue as two arms began to stretch out. This, whatever it is, pulls itself out of the flame, a draconequus with wild hair, and a black and white striped suit with matching tie. OH FUCK YOU, DISCORD! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!
“Daddy Discord! You came!” Diamond said, unphased by his entrance as she goes to give him a hug.
You were about to protest immediately, but the moment you opened your mouth, you suddenly found bandages wrapping around your muzzle rather tightly, preventing you from speaking. Oh no, what did he want? Why did he come?
Discord reached down and gently gave Diamond a little pat. “Of course I came. Your cry, so full of distress, has not fallen on deaf ears. Well…” Discord takes some ears out of his pocket and tosses them into the flame. “They did, so I had to replace them, you know how it is.”
“Oh, that’s why you came when I called you the third time. I get it! But, erm, Daddy Discord, Anon got really hurt by flying into an oven, and now he’s being dumb and waiting to use his own magic to heal when you can fix him now. You can fix him, can’t you?” Diamond said, as she looked up to Discord with big pleading eyes.
Discord lets out a soft chuckle as he looks over to you. “Fix? Oh, you mean his injuries, right right.” Discord rolls up his sleeves as he looks over you. You look at him, with one hell of an angry eye, knowing he was up to no good. But he just takes a part of the bandage and covers your eyes so you couldn’t see. “Burns, hmmmm. Shouldn’t be too hard, all you need to do is peel off the skin with chaos magic and he’ll be as good as new.”
“Really?! That sounds amazing! But ow, also painful. Is that really the way you can make him all better?” Diamond asked, curious as she walked over to you.
“It is, but fear not.” Discord said with a snap of his talons, changing into doctor’s scrubs as two clone nurses appear beside him. “I am a certified loon… Er, doctor. I have all the tools I need to make sure he recovers instantly, with only a light stinging as a risk.”
Light stinging your hoof! What the fuck! He was gonna fuck you over! Why?! The hell is in it for him?! Why did he suddenly feel like making this horrible?! You begin to bounce around, trying to break the bandages that bind you.
“Instantly?” Diamond’s eyes lit up as she went to give Discord a big hug. “That’s totally awesome, Daddy Discord! I knew Anon was being dumb about not calling you, you’re super amazing!” She didn’t even note the fact it’d sting you, a light stinging? What the fuck was his angle?
“Oh, trust me, I know. But young Diamond Tiara, I must ask you for your patience now. Silence is required for this procedure as it is still difficult to perform with this kind of magic. You understand, don’t you?” Discord said as he once again gave a gentle pat to Diamond’s head. This fucking act he was pulling wasn't fooling you.
“Well, duh, yeah. I’m not some silly filly who doesn’t know how doctors work. I trust you, Daddy Discord, so just trust me.” Diamond said as she took a few steps back and plopped her butt on the ground. “I can wait an eternity, as long as my Anon is ok.”
“Diamond Tiara, you are truly a beacon of hope. Really, I can’t imagine any other mare to keep my boy more in line than you.” Discord said as the nurses began clapping at Diamond’s and Discord's words.
“Keep in line? You mean, keep him from doing dumb stuff?” Diamond asked, confused.
“Yes, exactly. Now then…” Discord snaps his talons once more, summoning curtains around you as he and the nurses step behind them. “Silence, if you please. This procedure is a delicate one and I can’t be making a mistake.”
“Yes sir!” Diamond said, just waiting, sitting, staring at what she couldn’t see.
Discord closed the curtains, then looked over to you with an evil grin. “Ah, Anon, in trouble again I see. I must say, I’ve been waiting for a moment like this for three weeks.”
What the fuck?! Three weeks?! WHY?! He never even showed any kind of maliciousness at all until just now. You tried to bounce and scream, but couldn’t do either.
“You must be wondering why. Ohohohohoho” Discord chortled as the nurses joined in. “You humiliated me, Anon. You didn’t even have to win, I just wanted to see a good fight. Yet here you are, winning a fight against some nopony. Am I proud you won? Of course. But one thing has nothing to do with the other.” Discord says as he puts on some gloves. “Now, don’t fret too much. This will only hurt more than I said it would. Nurse, that blaster metal thing, if you please.”
“A gun?” The nurse asked.
“Yes, that uncivilized thing.” Discord says as he holds out his paw and is given a revolver. He loudly places in the bullets for you to hear. A gun?! A GUN?! What does that have to do with peeling off skin!? You try even further to make an escape, but to no avail. You then hear the gun click, then… BANG! BANG! BANG!
You were alive. Well of course you were, you knew he wouldn’t kill you. But shoot you, he might. But then, he didn’t even do that, what did he do? “Ah good, a few shots through the old beard and its nice and trim. What do you think nurse?” Discord asked as he looked to one of the nurses with a grin.
“Er, it’s crooked. Why didn’t you just use scissors?” The nurse asked, shrugging.
“You’re fired!” Discord said, opening a portal and pointing towards it. The nurse clone says nothing, giving Discord a nasty look before grunting and walking through as the portal closed behind her… Or him, or whatever. “The nerve. Crooked, when it’s actually slanted. Isn’t that right, nurse?” Discord said as he looked over at the other clone, who merely shrugged at him. “Eh, good enough. Anyway, let’s continue. Knife, if you don’t mind.”
“Knife.” The nurse called out as she handed it to Discord.
If you could show him an eye roll, you would. Fool you once, shame on him. Fool you twice? Fuck that, that ain’t happening.
That is, until you felt the cold steel on your cheek. “Now then, with this rusty knife, I shall perform a miraculous surgery. Every piece of burned skin shall be peeled off like a grapefruit.”
OH GOD NO! THAT ASSHOLE! HE WAS GOING TO MAKE IT AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE.
“But Doctor, won’t that take forever? I don’t know about you, but that sounds awfully boring.” The nurse said.
“Hmmm…” Discord said as he pondered “That is true, I do hate things that are boring and take forever. Alright then.” Discord said as he flings the knife, throwing it right next to your head as you heard it vibrate next to your ear. That fucking bastard, he was toying with you. All this over the Shining Armor shit? Goddamn, he can hold a grudge. “Nurse, the ‘extra extra premium ultimate adhesive yet completely medical’ bandage if you don’t mind.” Discord said as he held his hand out.
Oh god, no no no! He was totally going to do that, wasn’t he?! FUCK FUCK FUCK! COME ON, ANON, BOUNCE OUT OF THIS! COME ON! DAMMIT, WHY CAN YOU BARELY MOVE?!
“Here you are, doctor.” The nurse said with a bubbly giggle as she passed a huge roll of bandages to Discord.
“Now, Anon, you may feel a penetrative stinging that will encompass your entire being, surging through every nerve in your little body and alighting them like a thousand flames. Oh!” Discord put a hand over his mouth as he faked making a little verbal mistake. “I’m sorry, I meant a light pinch.”
And with that, you could feel yourself spinning faster than a tornado as the open parts of your body felt the adhesive coil around you like a snake. Even the parts that were over the original bandages somehow pierced right through them, enabling you the ability to feel the goopy adhesive to the bandage. Oh god, he was really gonna do this, wasn’t he?! DISCORD! DIIIISCORD!
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP! The sound was terrifying as the bandage was pulled off, the stinging pain so strong that it sends you flying upwards, off the table, and over the curtains. Your mane and tail were standing out like you were just electrocuted as you slam into the ceiling and fall back down towards the ground in front of Diamond. Discord brushes off his talons and paw as he removes his gloves and looks towards his nurse. “Well, looks like the surgery was a success. How about you and me get out of this place and mingle among our mongles, hhh-OW!” Discord yelps in pain as his nurse clone slaps him in the face. “I’ll take that as a no.”
“Anon! You’re as good as new!” Diamond wasn’t even the wiser as she jumped up and snuggled onto you. You were so wracked with stinging pain that you couldn’t even move, talk, or make a movement. Your eyes criss-crossed as every hair on your body stood on end. Not even her cuddling could soothe your newly healed but pained body.
You were laying down on your belly on the porch, Diamond at your side. It was late, and after dinner, Scoots and Ocellus went home as Lance took to the guest room. It was good, it was fun, Scootaloo got along with Ocellus really well and really wanted to make the whole big meet up thing happen. Diamond hung by your side the entire time, and apparently what she heard from the other side of the curtain was not what Discord was actually saying. Of course he’d make sure she didn’t hear what he said, she’d rip his throat out in an instant if she did.
She snuggled at your side, looking up at the stars. “You really did good today, Anon. I knew you could beat Lance.”
“Heh, yeah… Really wish I didn’t fly into the oven though. I mean, I could have taken care of the burns myself, Diamond, y’know?” You tell her as you sigh, looking forward.
“Mnnn...” She lets out a low sigh of discontent “It was just a small bandage rip, Anon. Come on, you’re the hero colt! That shouldn’t bother you at all! Especially when our future adventures are gonna be totally thrilling and dangerous. We’re going to get a few scuff marks here and there. But since we’ll have a lot of money to work with, no adventure will be out of our reach. ‘The Hero Colt, Anon!’ and his wife the “Gemcutter’! With magic and swords, all villains will fall before us!” Diamond let out a mischievous little giggle as she cuddled on your side. “What do you think? Pretty awesome, right? I thought Gemcutter would be an awesome hero name. A skilled pony with a blade so sharp, it cuts diamonds.”
“You really been thinking about that, huh?” You say with a chuckle. “It’s not like O&O, Diamond. Bad guys usually mean business and aren’t going to show you any mercy. You have to be willing to use that sword without hesitation. And even then, I don’t think you’d really want to go out and fight bad guys like Tirek. They are really really tough.”
“Anon!” Diamond stops cuddling and looks to you with disdain “I’m not some snooty puff of a rich filly. I mean, I am a rich filly, but I’m not a snooty puff. I’m not gonna be the one to sit at home and be worried you won’t come home after some big adventure. I want to be there with you! Then we can retire when we have our first foal. And I mean retiring as heroes, because I won’t let our foal be fatherless because something happened to his dad. Do you understand?” She said with such forcefulness.
Sheesh! “You’ve reeeaaalllyy been thinking about it, geez. Diamond, look, it’s not like we’re just gonna be going on adventures. I don’t do that, it’s just that it happens. Truthfully, I’d rather not even have to go out on any kind of mission or whatever unless it was important. Everything that has happened with Chrysalis, and the Storm King, and even before all that. It’s a headache.”
“Really? So you’d rather just rest at home and do normal stuff?” Diamond asked, curious.
“Mostly, yeah. I mean, sometimes I want to do something great. But all this hero stuff, and Chrysalis stuff. I just want it to be over with. I want her redeemed, and all this behind me, and just have a time to relax. Every day is pretty much stressful for me.” You explain
“Anon…” Diamond frowned as she began to snuggle as affectionately as she could at your side. “I didn’t know it was like that. B-but thinking about it, I guess you having to run around a lot and deal with all the stuff you deal with would be super stressful. Do you think, erm, that I should stop learning how to fence?”
“Nah, if my life continues the way it usually does, it will probably come in handy sooner or later. You can do what you want really, but just to let you know, I’d prefer if things are quiet for a while.” You say as you return her affections with a nuzzle.
“Hmm” Diamond nods to herself, and looks to the sky with determination. “Well, if anypony does try to do anything bad, I’ll cut them down to size faster than Mother slashing Daddy’s snack budget!”
Oof, that analogy. “Y-yeah. Speaking of, is your Dad gonna be ok? You know, with that whole cake thing?”
“He’ll be fine. Mother probably won’t be too mad at him considering everypony was focused on you.” Diamond said with a yawn as she rested her head on your side. “He’ll be fine”
“Good. I sorta feel that none of this was his fault at all, just a lot of bad luck. Hm? Are you getting tired?” You ask as you gently nuzzle back.
“Yeah… I feel a little sleepy, especially after that pizza. Mnnn, it’s probably time for me to go to bed.” Diamond says sleepily as she adorably cuddles against you.
You chuckle “Not gonna try to stay awake longer so we can hang out?”
“I totally would, but since this isn’t a date or anything, Mother would get upset and probably lecture me. I mean, I’ve snuck out anyway a couple of times, but this time? I think also being so scared and all that training has made me feel extra tired.” Diamond said with another yawn.
“I bet. Come on.” You say as you stand up “Get on my back. I’ll carry you to bed.”
“Really?” Diamond says, gushing at the prospect. “Anon, that’s so romantic.”
“I know.” You say with a cool chuckle “Besides, I’m not gonna let you ache all the way to your room when I can just carry you there. So, c’mon.”
Diamond slowly and gently climbed on your back, gently nuzzling her head against yours as you went back to the manor and took her to her room. As you went up the stairs, she let out a loving sigh. “I can imagine the foals having so much fun doing this. You better not spoil them, Anon” She said with a light giggle.
“Heh, you mean how I’m spoiling you right now?” You ask
“I don’t mind being spoiled by this, just don’t spoil them.” Diamond says as she gives you a very gentle bop before resting her head on yours. “Well… Maybe a little spoiling isn’t bad. Just not too much.”
“Not too much, just enough for them to have a good time before study time. Or something like that, I dunno. Only thing I’m worried about is Dad overspoiling them. I just got this feeling.” You say as you gently open Diamond’s door.
“Well, grandpas tend to do that, Anon. We won’t let him do it all the time. Daddy Discord really listens to me, so I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” Diamond says with a yawn.
Yeah… Sure, he suuuuure does.
You gently lower yourself to let Diamond off as she hops onto bed. “Yeah, I’m sure it won’t.” You put on your horn to gently tuck Diamond into bed with your telekinetic magic. You decide to hop up to the side of the bed to kiss her, but she points to your eyes. “Something wrong?”
“Well, I’m not gonna give you a good night kiss when you're looking all evil and stuff.” She says with a gentle chuckle.
Ah, right, the Sombra effect. You take off your horn and do a nose nuzzle with Diamond before giving her a gentle peck on the muzzle. You look at each other for a while, you don’t know why. Love? It’s probably that. But eventually you say your goodnights, ‘I love yous’, and head off. You thought about saying goodnight to the Riches, but when you went to the study, you could hear them through the door, still discussing what happened with the cake. Welp, screw that. You head over to the kitchen, find the sink, let some water fall, and use your horn to open a portal back to your room.
Though, as you fall onto your bed. You could hear the distinct sound of a song as it ends off on a familiar word. The ending theme to MLP:FIM. Wut?
You look over at the end of the bed and see… What in the fuck? Is that Jimmy “The Gent” Burke? Sitting at the end of your bed? Watching MLP? No, that doesn’t make any sense. Discord? No, why would he do that, especially when he’s never watch-... Wait. “X-Captain? Or XXwhatever, is that you? What in the… What are you doing in my room? Why are you Jimmy?” Ugh, you were both surprised and annoyed. The fuck was he doing?
“Because, that’s my name now. It’s a name that demands respect.” The XX-Captain, or rather, Jimmy said as he stood up, adjusted his suit, and pointed towards you in a calm yet commanding manner. “Now, how about you run along, I’m working.”
Working? “Ugh, look, get out of my room. I really don’t have the patience to deal with you tonight.” Why was he even watching MLP? In fact, it did get you a little curious, but given everything you had to deal with when it came to him, you’d rather he just go away.
“See, Anon, that’s your problem. You forgive Chrysalis, you forgive Discord, you forgive everypony but me. What have I ever done to you to deserve your hatred? Try to eliminate you? So has Chrysalis, and yet you only give her the time of day because she’s a dame.” Jimmy said with a shrug as he shut off the tv with a remote. “And here I was, doing busy work, trying to figure things out behind the scenes. Not only for me, but for you too, I want you to know that.”
Behind the scenes? Busy work? Ugh, and is he trying to justify everything he’s done to you? Well, yeah, Chrysalis HAS tried to kill you a few times, but this guy was irredeemable He… Well, he probably went mad due to all that chaos that was inside him. And to be fair, you did prank the changelings first. Not only did your actions get him turned into a chair, but even Chrysalis slapped him when she had him change into you. Fine, just find out what he wants and kick him out. “Alright then, how about this. I’ll hear you out, and if it isn’t interesting to me, you stay out. Understand?”
“Anon, what’s the matter with you? Do you really not like me that much?” Jimmy said as he went towards the window and gently rubbed his hand along the glass, staring out into the chaotic space as he sighs. “Can’t you show me that you have a heart?”
He had an angle here. But what if he didn’t? What if he did want to become a better changeling like his siblings. It could be he’s simply sick of being in Discord’s house, but… Bah, fuck, he sort of really had a point, doesn’t he? You never really gave him a chance. Once Chrysalis nuked him, you only knew him as a chaotic psychopath. “Alright, alright, fine. Maybe I’m being a bit of a dick. So what is it that you want to tell me, what did you find out?”
“Willing to listen, huh?” Jimmy said as he quickly changed back to his original form, a larger than normal changeling, fierce, though without his armor. He hovered up and landed on the ceiling as he began to pace. “Alright then, so I took it upon myself to annoy Discord enough so that he would give me what I asked for. Namely, this television thing and the episodes of Equestria up to when you first arrived. Knowing what I also know from what has happened thereafter, I think I figured out something that may make you a little angry.”
“Angry?” Ok, so is he still crazy? What could he have possibly figured out from watching the episodes that you didn’t. “Angry how?”
“Angry how?” Jimmy snickered as he shifted his eyes left and right. “Think about it, Anon. All this time, you’ve thought you were the main character in your own story. But that is soooooo wrong. The show started with Twilight, and everything that has ever happened since then, despite her and her friends being so dumb, has revolved around her and them, but mostly her.”
“I mean, the show was centered on the mane six. But even then, you guys had a functioning world regardless of what the show focused on. That’s how things work for stories that are written, even in this world.” You explain.
“Yes, but sometimes ideas come from other dimensions, you know that. And being able to observe Twilight’s life at this point, I noticed that she went from an unfriendly loser to alicorn princess. And usually, although it didn’t always work out exactly as planned, it was Princess Celestia who was guiding her or testing her. The letters, releasing Discord in such a way that his betrayal would lead to the last key needed for rainbow power, Starswirl’s spell, and even now, with her school. I’ve learned so so so much.” Jimmy explains with a flick of his tongue and an evil sneer on his face.
“I mean, yeah, I already knew that. Look, no offense, but are you going to tell me that it seems Twilight is the most important thing to Equestria? Because I’m gonna tell you, living here as long as I have, she isn’t as important as the show led you to believe.” Like really, you redeemed Starlight, and Twilight was totally useless against the Storm King. Sure there was the Pony of Shadows, but eh. Hell, you already had Neighsay handled, so it was safe to say you were the most important thing right now. Heheh, you’re awesome.
“Nope, but to Celestia, Twilight is the most important thing. So important, in fact, that you’d think she’d be completely against you with the curse that is so visible on your legs. Twilight forced to be a target? Why would she let that fly, I wonder?” Jimmy said as he pondered fakely, before looking at you with focused, nearly close lidded eyes. “Unless she’s using the whole thing as a test for Twilight.”
Guh?! “Woah, woah. That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?” Why did that catch you so off guard? “Celestia pretty much owes me this for going behind my back with your siblings. She knows she did me wrong.”
“Does she know that?” Jimmy said as he landed in front of you, looking deep into your eyes. “She’s lied to you before, used you to turn my kin into… Those things. Celestia isn’t perfect, but I know she is clairvoyant. All it’d take is one little vision to make her think things through and make it appear she’s on your side. What do you think about that? Sounds feasible, no?”
Were you… Were you relenting? It did sound feasible. But then, why did he even care to ‘figure all that out’? “Look, before we get further into it, why do you even care if Celestia is using me or not? What do you get out of this by telling me your theories?”
“Nothing really, I was bored. If I’m going to be stuck here, I need to do something to keep my sanity now that I have it back. Besides, I think I’ve grown a little love for chaos, can you blame me for wanting to see if this is true or not?” Jimmy said
“So… You just want to see me pissed off, is that it?” Goddammit, you knew it!
“Yes and no, I know the protection spell Discord cast long ago is inert so I’d rather not get completely on your bad side. Besides, this is technically me helping you and warning you that you're being used as a pawn. That my dear old queen… Is a pawn to a test.” Jimmy said with a low chuckle.
“If it’s even true. It’s hard to believe considering you’ve been stuck here for a while and all you got to go off is old episodes. Things have changed, it’s not really like how it is in the show.” You explain, despite your small doubt.
“Well, how lucky you have a portal that takes you to the castle. You know, to go and ask Celestia herself.” Jimmy said as he looked over to the door. “You should go ask her right now.”
“And why would I waste my time on that?” You ask with a sigh “It’s late.”
“Better late than never. What do you have to lose? If what I said is true, then you can probably fix whatever Celestia’s test is going to ruin. Besides, I’m curious myself. All this time I thought my old queen was devious, but Celestia? Heheheh, wow. I bet she’s getting ready to make Twilight the princess of Equestria at this point.” Jimmy said, as he began to ponder on the thought. “She hasn’t been nearly as effective as a princess as she used to be, after all. But she is quite evil in her thinking, I love it.”
“Ok, that’s just crazy. Why would she make Twilight the princess of Equestria? Not only is she immortal, but the whole princess-ship thing requires two. As in both Celestia and Luna.” You explain.
“Been awhile since you watched the ‘show’, huh? Celestia ruled Equestria for a thousand years without her sister, and the powers of day and night can be transferred to Twilight. As I said, Princess Celestia, and by extension, Princess Luna, aren’t as effective as they used to be, they can’t defend the kingdom like Twilight can. But, if you’re not willing to ask freely, then how about a wager?” Jimmy offered, plopping his butt down as he awaited your answer.
“Are you serious? What do you even have to offer me? Because, just to let you know, that theory is fucking crazy, it’s not worth me losing sleep over.” Like, fine, Celestia using this as a test is feasible. And you’re willing to confront her over it, because if that is true, then fuck her. But grooming Twilight to her level, that’s dumb.
“Basically, I’ll leave you alone forever. It’ll be as if I never existed. But… If I’m right, I want you to convert the basement into a full library of entertainment. I’m bored, Anon, I need to be right. I spent all day on this!” Suddenly, Jimmy began to look at you with a crazy look as he slowly approached you. “Just agree! It’s not like you can’t do it right now. If you’re right, I’m out of your mane forever, how could you not want that? You are sure you’re right, right?”
You back up, but stare him in the eye inquisitively. “...Pretty sure. But let me make sure, we’re wagering on the Twilight being princess of Equestria thing, right? And not the test thing?”
Jimmy grinned cooly at you. “Does that mean you agree with me that Celestia’s test exists?”
“I’d… Just rather not make a bet on something that’s going to infuriate me to even think about. Which brings me to my next question, how sure are you on the whole ‘Princess of Equestria’ thing?” You ask
He simply blinked before shifting then narrowing his eyes at you “Is this a trick? I was the one who was wagering on that very thing. Unless… Oh, are you actually going to check on it now?”
“Yeah, and I’m totally willing to make a bet on that.” Fuck, man, why did Celestia using this entire situation as a test sound so feasible? That fucking bitch, she really is doing that, isn’t she? Fuck her, you’re gonna go over there and show her she isn’t without fault. If you have to, you’ll slap her around for being such a bitch, she will know your fury. “On the princess thing, I mean.”
“Then…” He puts out his hoof, and glares at you “Let’s shake on it.”
You do, without hesitation. Dammit, fuck, you were not going to let this one slide.
You began to march up to the castle in the dead of night, heading towards the doors where two guards stood... Well, guarding it. One mare, one stallion. Fuck this, fuck Celestia, you’re going through. “Yo, hey, I’m going in. I got to talk to Princess Celestia… Er, please? It’s urgent hero colt business.” Ok, probably best not to make it look like you’re pissed sooooo…
The stallion guard looked at you with a hard stare, serious in his tone. “Princess Celestia? Oh, you are Anon, aren’t you? I can’t let you pass. The princess has taken to her sleep and is not to be disturbed.”
“Like, sorry little guy.” Said the mare guard, with her valley girl accent. She was pretty cute actually, a soft shade of white with glittering blue eyes , a golden tail and mane. “You’re going to have to wait til she’s wide awake and stuff, try back tomorrow morning.”
Shit… WAIT! “Did I say Princess Celestia though? Erm, I meant Princess Luna. I have business with her is what I meant.” She had to be awake. And if waking up Celestia was going to be a problem, then you’d get what you needed to know from her sister.
“You did?” The stallion looked at you with inquisitive eyes. “The princesses are quite literally as different as night and day. Are you sure you have important business here, Anon? We can’t just let you in at this time of night unless it’s urgent.”
You gulp as you think of something. You were a colt, right? Nehehe, then act like one. “Yeah but… Sorry.” You said with a fake yawn as you stretched out adorably “I’m just weally tired. I can’t think straight. I’d be in bed if this wasn’t so important.”
“Awww…” The mare couldn’t help herself, she walked up towards you and gently pat you between your ears. You went soft right there, such an adorable armored cutie showing such affection. You couldn’t help but look at her with a gentle smile. She turned to her partner and said. “Like, Whetstone, let’s just let him pass. Like, if his business is important and stuff, then wouldn’t it be bad if we didn’t let him in? Look at him, he just wants to get it over with and dream of, like, totally sweet things.”
Whetstone just stared at you for a moment. Given your now softened look, which he mistook as tiredness rather than your depravity, he began to give it some thought before stepping aside. “I suppose it makes sense that he has business with Princess Luna. She doesn’t normally step out to order a meal, so it must be for Anon. Alright then, Anon, you can find her in the dining room. I hope whatever it is, it isn’t a threat to Equestria.”
“Oh no no, it’s just some news about strategies and… stuff.” You say as you feel the mare’s hoof gently scratch behind the ear. Ooh baby, that’s the stuff. “Erm, what’s your name, miss?”
“Oh, uh, it’s like, Spearhead. My dad named me that because, like, he knew I’d be smart and stuff.” She says as seems to ponder on it as if she was trying to remember if that was why.
“Well, miss Spearhead. You’re the nicest guardmare I have ever met. You have a safe night, oks?” You say, saying it as adorably as possible.
“Awww, you too little guy. Gosh, you’re so adorable, I could use you as a plush and stuff.” Spearhead said as she gave you a gentle cuddly hug.
“Ahrm, we are supposed to be guarding the doors, Spearhead. Anon has business to attend to, let’s not keep him.” Whetstone reminded her, finding the situation a little awkward, as it almost seemed to him like you were now being cutesy wutesy on purpose.
“Ok,ok, I getcha. Alright, Anon, you go on through, ok?” Spearhead says to you as she takes back her original position.
“I will, thank you!” You tell her as you wave goodbye and enter the castle.
“... It’s hard to believe that’s the hero colt. He doesn’t seem chaotic at all.” Whetstone said to Spearhead.
“Like, he has to be. I bet if, like, we weren’t on peace time, he’d be all super quick and stuff. He did beat the Storm King, like, really bad.” Spearhead replied.
“I guess that makes sense. Still, strange he’d mistake the princesses for one another like that. Hmmm…” Whetstone said as he pondered.
Yes! You were in. Celestia was lucky, she gets to avoid your righteous fury for the night. But Luna? Hoo boy, she better be ready. You still couldn’t believe how sound ‘Jimmy’s’ theory was. Sure, it was all theory way back when, but living past season five and seeing everything you’ve seen so far? It suddenly made so much sense. Hell, Twilight has a school, just like Celestia! The next logical step is being princess of Equestria. And to use you and Chrysalis as a test for Twilight? Oh no, fuck that, that ain’t happening.
As you venture through the castle, towards the dining hall, your mind fills with the moments before you entered the portal door beforehand. Jimmy, which was a name you don’t think you could get used to considering it’s the fucking X-captain, told you "Not to screw things up, ‘Henry’”. Ugh, he was really going to go with that whole thing, wasn’t he? And you thought Chrysalis was influenced, that guy is actually becoming a character now.
As you near the dining hall, you could hear the chortle of Princess Luna coming from the other side of the huge double doors. You slowly open them, and peer inside to see her sitting alone, excited as she opened a large paper bag to reveal… “Yes, finally! It is mine! Everypony thinks we are only to enjoy fine dining. But this! Yes, this! This ‘Super Omega Hayburger Royal Supreme’ will be purely delicious, I just know it! They deem this a commoner’s food, and yet with the headline ‘So amazing, even Princess Celestia cannot handle it!’, how could I not purchase one? Amazing that I was not even mentioned in such advertising, but after tonight, the advertisement will fully come true as my sister may not be able to handle this, but I can!” Luna cackled as she began to unwrap the burger from its paper wrappings.
Is… Is she talking to herself? About a fucking burger? Holy shit, and you thought you had issues. Had she never had a burger before? Christ, she was just tearing the paper with her magic like it was a present.
“And now, reveal yourself!” Luna tears the last of the wrapping to reveal a huge and thick hayburger, dripping in oils and condiments, stuffed with so much hay and tomatoes and cheese and god knows what else. “Scrumptious! Simply divine! Although, I should actually taste it before making such remarks.” Luna said to herself as she lowly snickered “It is time to dine and show my superiority. Yes, you may think you know best. But you aren’t right all the time, and this shall prove it!!”
The fuck was she even talking about? Christ, did you break her mind with the whole sex stuff from way back? Or has Celestia been pissing her off? Well, if she has, then getting information from Luna should be all the easier.
Luna opened her mouth wide to bite down on the burger, but upon bringing it close, she has it dab all over her muzzle and nose, causing her to push it forward as she sneezes and coughs. “W-what?! What is this?!” She wipes her nose, and then tries to bite upon it again, but she gets the same results. Even turning it left and right, she couldn’t get it to fit inside her mouth. “What foolery is this?!” She inspects the burger closer, and realizes, in fact, that it is explicitly large. “How?! Why?! What is this?! Why in the wide world of Equestria would anypony make a hayburger so large?! It doesn’t fit! I cannot bite down upon it no matter how I turn it! This is absurd! Everypony eats hayburgers in this position, buns on top and bottom, and yet it is simply too massive to bite upon!” She then growled towards the burger as she made a proclamation. “I will not be bested by simple food! If you will not fit as you are, then prepare for a powerful spatial compression spell! I will not be bested by the likes of you!” Luna points to the burger as her horn glows bright, covering the burger in a dark blue and starry aura as it begins to compress and flatten while shaking heavily from the tension. “ Yes, that should do. Now then…”
My god, was this Luna’s greatest opponent? A hayburger? Did she sneak a burger into the castle so she wouldn’t be judged about eating basic food, and is now being defeated by it? You almost felt bad for her. Even after all this time, she just didn’t seem to understand how the modern world worked.
And as the burger neared her muzzle again, the absolute pressure of her spell caused everything from within the hayburger to splurt and fly out, splashing her face in condiments as everything fell to the floor. Luna finally had it, her fury mounting as she wiped her face, her eyes beginning to glow as she started to yell in the royal canterlot voice “YOU DARE ATTACK ME? PRINCESS LUNA OF EQUESTRIA? FOOLISH FOOD, TONIGHT WILL BE YOUR DOOM!” She bellows out as she blasts the burger to dust.
Christ, the blast was intense enough to startle you, causing you to fall forward through the door as Luna ends her attack, she herself suddenly getting startled as she hears the noise of someone falling. “Who is there?! I thought I sent you all away from the dining hall. If you saw what you think you saw, I shall deny it, deny all of it and…” As Luna hovers up towards the door to see who was eavesdropping on her, you quickly try to stand and make a bolt for cover. She was fucking crazy! You were sure now that you yourself spotting her being beat by a burger would send her in a rage. And yet, she only looked at you curiously as she nabs you with her magic and brings you in front of her. “Anon? What are you doing here? Are you aware of the time? And…” Luna suddenly narrowed an eye towards you as she looked at you inquisitively “What did you see? I hope it isn’t what I think you saw.”
Fucking christ, you’d be a fucking idiot to admit the truth to her now. The way she zapped that burger, the way she was looking at you. Sure, you knew she wouldn’t kill you, but you’ve seen Luna angry before. The very last time you sent her in a fury, she was sniping you in a dream, Metal Gear style. Sure it was a dream, but you swear you could still feel that bullet sometimes. “Er, I just walked in. Uh, er, did you… Er, eat a burger or something? I smell a burger.”
Luna went silent for a moment, chuckled nervously, and gently put you down as she walked back to the dining table, subtly using her magic to make the dust of the burger slide near and then inside a potted plant. “Er, yes! I-in fact, it was the fabled ‘Super Omega Hayburger Royal Supreme’. I’m sure you have heard of its slogan.”
“Er, yeah. Something about your sister not being able to eat it, right?” You say with a fake wide grin.
“E-exactly, which is sad to say for her, I was able to eat it without an issue.” Luna smiles back at you with the same kind of fake grin before quickly changing the subject. “B-but I am not one to gloat. Ahrm, Anon, what do you here this night? Is it important? Ah, perhaps news of Chrysalis?”
Don’t puss out, Anon. What can Luna really do to you? You had her and Celestia dead to rights now. She can’t be mad at you, she can’t get angry. What they were doing was wrong, and you would make them realize that. Luna, she can’t justify this, you know she can’t. You take a deep breath, and calmly begin to explain yourself. “Actually, this is about her rather than news about her. Luna, look, I came tonight because I was thinking about this whole thing. And something clicked in my mind, something that originally didn’t make sense.”
“Doesn’t make sense? Considering how insane this whole thing is, I too find many things that don’t make sense. So for you to find something nonsensical about it is most intriguing, please explain.” Luna said, surprised and curious about your thoughts.
But the way she said that, did that mean?... “It doesn’t make sense to you? Wait, I thought you and your sister were both ok with this whole thing. Are you saying you’re not?”
“Of course I’m not! Queen Chrysalis, out and about and willing to destroy Princess Twilight at a moment’s notice? And yet, we’re supposed to make Twilight available to said destruction? Due to some curse? I have talked to Prince Shining Armor many a time on the subject, and we both do not agree with it. And yet Twilight, Cadance, and my own sister wish to proceed with such madness. I am only going along with this simply because Twilight herself seems alright with this, that the possibility of her redemption is possible. Tell me, Anon, is that possible? Or is this simply more shenanigans?” Luna asked, her stare becoming more serious as the topic becomes more heated.
“Luna, I’m telling you she’s made progress. Somepony told you right? About Twilight and Chrysalis watching a movie together? The fact that went almost completely well must mean something, right?” Sure, Chrysalis was enjoying Twilight’s reactions, but she also seemed to be having fun comparing thoughts with Twilight, even if it still also angered her whenever Twilight got all ‘friendshipy’.
“I was told. And yet here we are, Chrysalis trying to destroy her regardless. But…” Luna sighs as she suddenly goes quiet for a moment, closing her eyes.
“But?” You ask, curious as to why she went silent.
“But, I remember not being too keen on my sister releasing Discord either. And, despite his initial betrayal, I can say he is a spirit worthy of friendship… Mostly.” Luna sighs as she gives it a little more thought. “So, I suppose if this absurdity plays out as it should, then Chrysalis too will be worthy.”
Well then, that explains why, despite not agreeing with it, she is still letting it happen. Although, that is kind of fucked up Celestia would just go on with the whole thing with or possibly even without Luna. But then, why did it not sound like they were testing Twilight? Hrn, actually, given Luna’s thoughts on the matter, she most likely would be truthful if you ask her about that. “Well, I for one, know it is going to. Which kinda brings me to why I’m here. Princess Luna, I need you to be honest with me, I need you to tell me if Celestia is using this as a way to test Twilight.” And just in case she isn’t truthful, then you’ll just add in Jimmy’s accusation. “As in, to test her to see if she is ready to rule Equestria in your’s and Celestia’s sted.”
“WHAT?!” Luna nearly fell back in her chair in surprise. “Who told you that?! How did you know my sister and I were going to make Twilight princess of all Equestria?! D-did my sister tell you, despite it being a secret?!”
DAMMIT! YOU KNEW IT! Well, Jimmy knew it… FUCK, NEVER MIND, YOU WERE DAMNED ANGRY NOW! “I knew it!” You shout as you point to Luna in sudden yet justified rage. A rage that just hit you like a fucking truck. “Dammit! I knew it! How could you do it, Luna?! Is everyone’s lives a fucking game to you both?! Using my strife, my friend, my plan, to test Twilight? So, what? Were you going to cut me out of this altogether and manipulate things for Twilight to face off against her? Huh? Answer me!”
“SILENCE!” Luna’s eyes suddenly glowed, her yell being somehow powerful enough to suddenly send you back. Before you can even get up from the floor, Luna suddenly stood over you, looking down at you in a rage of her own. “I know not of what you speak of! But Twilight’s further ascension is a secret that, currently, is only between my sister and I! You will tell me who told you of this, immediately!”
At first, you were startled. But no, fuck this! You were not going down like this! You were not going to be a fucking pussy now! You slap on your horn, your eyes glowing with utter darkness, and use as much telekinetic force as you can to force Luna back. Or you try to, anyway, she doesn’t even flinch.
“What are you doing?” Luna suddenly became confused as she watched you uselessly flail your hooves in an attempt to somehow strengthen your push.
“I’m trying to force you back! I’m trying to fight you! You know what you did! How can you be mad at me when you and Celestia are the ones using Chrysalis and me to test Twilight! You two have gone too far this time, and I’m not going to sit down and take it!” You growled.
“What? That… What? Why would we do that? Are you insane? Why would we do such a thing?!” Luna was heavily surprised. So surprised that she started to realize that somehow, through that way of thinking, you figured out what they planned to do with Twilight. “Did… Did you come to realize my sister and I’s plan through a baseless assumption? Oh no…” Luna stepped back when she came to a sudden realization. “A plan I confirmed through assumptions of my own. How could I? Anon!” Luna suddenly became frantic as she looked at you with shaking eyes. “Whatever you are thinking that led to such an assumption, it is wrong, I assure you. But this information itself, it must not leave this room. Do you understand?”
Wut?! “Wait! WAIT! Are you telling me that the ‘Twilight, princess of Equestria’ thing is actually a thing? But using Chrysalis as a test isn’t?!” D-did you just lose the bet anyway?! On a half wrong assumption?! How was it even half wrong?! “Luna, how?! What?! How are you going to make Twilight a princess through a test, and this not be the test?!”
“Anon, I have no idea what you even speak of when it comes to tests. Twilight is already proving herself further and further everyday, even opening up a school like my sister has. She is showing to be more capable than my sister and I these days. Where Twilight defeats many a foe, protects Equestria, and helps her friends. My sister and I have become less efficient in our duties as time goes by, being more liabilities during major attacks than anything else. It is becoming time that the crown must pass, that is why Twilight is the perfect candidate for princess of Equestria.” Luna explained.
You were so damned confused. “And, she doesn’t even know that? Wait, then you guys really aren’t using Chrysalis at all to test her? Why? I thought you both would.”
“Because, you already know my opinion, I think it’s madness. And my sister? According to her, the reason she is truly alright with this is due to the progress you have made, that Chrysalis has apparently made. Given her guilt of tricking you before, to reform the changelings, she felt she never gave you the kind of chances she would give others. Given, this is your last chance, it is still a chance, a chance even I somewhat believe you can succeed in. She and I believe in you, Anon, but only to a certain limit. It has nothing to do with our plans for Twilight.” Luna explains.
Oh god… Celestia actually does believe in you? Fucking hell. What were you going to tell Jimmy? Technically, he was wrong as to why Twilight was going to be a princess, so that should nullify the bet, right? No, goddammit, you were the one who made a bet on the ‘princess thing’. You could just lie to the fucker, as if he’d ever know. Yeah, fuck it, lie to him. Wait… “Woah, so… What about Twilight then? You don’t think it’s screwed up you’re both planning to drop Equestria right on her lap? She’s gonna go bonkers, you know that, right?”
“We believe she will be ready when the time comes. Which is why you must not let this secret leave this room, I need your promise, Anon.” Luna asks you for this, she was serious.
“But… Look, you can’t just do that! She’s already a princess, so, who would be the princess of Friendship then? Who would run the school? And there’s like, two of you… Well, I guess Celestia handled Equestria on her own for a millenia, but still. It’s really messed up you’re just… Oh no, am I defending Twilight?” Holy shit, are you defending the book horse?!
“Indeed, it is worrying even me, as you are usually at odds with her about something.” Luna said, surprised she was having difficulty getting you to agree to something she thought you’d find hilarious in your own head, as serious as it was to her. “Anon, you must not tell anypony. Especially Twilight. I ask you to keep this secret for me, just as I have been keeping a secret for you.”
Wut? “A secret for me? I don’t remember telling you any secrets, so, er, what are you talking about?”
“I speak of the changeling and the Storm King. Especially since the Storm King both escaped the realm of chaos, and met his doom.” Luna says.
WUT?! WUT?! “Luna! Dammit! D-dammit! Stay out of my head! You can’t just do that to me! That isn't fair! And… Wait…” How long did she know about this? And given who she was, why was she keeping it secret? “You haven’t told anypony? Not even Princess Celestia?”
“Not even my sister, Anon. For as long as I’ve known, which has been for quite some time. And no, I didn’t find out through your mind. Rather, I found out through the nightmares of young Diamond Tiara, rescuing her from that very creature. As for finding out about the Storm King’s fate, I sometimes scour daydreams during times of boredom, and a tired mare by the name of Lyra Heartstrings was having a nightmare about your investigation. The Storm King, single armed, was attacking her friend. Upon rescuing her, she, believing me to be a figment of her mind, explained what she was doing. So I believe I am currently up to date as well” Luna explained.
Wut?! “But… what? Ok, didn’t know you did daydreams and… Wait, so why aren’t you mad then? If you knew for so long, why haven’t you told Celestia or ripped me apart about it?”
Luna became silent, and walked to one of the moonlit windows of the dining room, looking to the moon as she began to speak. “At first, I was angry, Anon. I tried to figure out why you would even allow, or do such a thing. I pondered, and I thought, and I wondered. And as I did so, I began to think back. Think back to the time of my own foolishness that caused me to be sealed in the moon, my time as Nightmare Moon, and even when I myself nearly caused the destruction of all due to my own Tantabus. And even before such things, my sister and I had made decisions that many would find perplexing. Even my former teacher, Starswirl, along with the Pillars of Old, had made a grave error, allowing the Pony of Shadows to exist. Tell me, Who was I to tell you you were wrong?”
“I mean, you haunted my dreams because you couldn’t accept dirty thoughts. So, y’know, you still got me confused.” You say, like, still confused as fuck.
“Well, yes, you’re a degenerate. But, the Storm King, and that changeling, those were beings of evil that you defeated. Just as I and my sister had passed several judgments, just as Twilight and her friends have passed such judgments, judgments that even led to Sombra’s destruction, not allowing him a chance to redeem himself, as doubtful as that could be, I feel the punishment you gave to the Storm King was something you should have been allowed to do. Although, he didn’t stay imprisoned for as long as the usual time, what’s done is done, and all I can tell you now is to not allow it again, and to be more mindful of how you handle your opponents.” Luna sighed, then looked back at you “And besides all that, if I did tell my sister, then she would be the one acting as I once have. Demanding your presence to tell you how wrong you are. I personally feel she shouldn’t dictate everything, I can make decisions as well, and that decision has been made.”
Ooooooh, so besides all that, she seemed a little pissed at Celestia, probably because of the whole Chrysalis thing, or other things Celestia has made decisions on without her. Hell, it could even go back as far as when Celestia teased Luna in your dreamscape. Crazy how Luna knows, but is keeping it to herself. Looks like you are just lucky this time, and it’d be good to leave before you fuck things up. “Ok, I get it now. I promise, Princess Luna, I won’t tell anypony.”
“Thank you. Still, amazing as to how you came to such a conclusion. How did you manage to figure it out, exactly?” Luna asked, curious.
“Oh, you know, all the stories I heard. Celestia pretty much testing Twilight since she was a regular and rather cranky unicorn to what she is now, a princess and headmare. Kinda made sense when you think about it, right?” You say, using Jimmy's explanation as it really did make sense, apparently.
“Indeed, it suddenly seems so obvious. Hmmmm…” Luna said as she began to rub her hoof under her muzzle, deep in thought about it. “Clever thinking, Anon, very clever. Perhaps there is more hope than I realized if you are capable of such thought. Surely, perhaps, you have some clairvoyance for Chrysalis’s future. That, or you are much more observant and able to read others more than I thought. Either way, I am impressed.”
“Oh, well, y’know. I wouldn’t be the hero colt if I didn’t do… That. Like, y’know, I’m pretty good at redeeming others, y’know? Like, er, Starlight?” Dammit, fuck you Jimmy.
“Yes, you did do that, didn’t you? Most impressive indeed. Well then, Anon, it seems our business with each other has concluded, as I have important work to do. But, ah, before I forget. I must remind you, I am a master of eating hayburgers, as not even that deluxe burger was a match for me. You acknowledge this, correct?” Luna asked, staring deep into your soul.
“Er, yeah? Yup! No one can eat burgers like you can, Luna.” You say with a fake grin. Dammit, fine, don’t cause a problem, Anon. You made a mistake, you feel bad since Celestia does actually believe in you, and fuck… You even tried to defend Twilight. Nah, whatever, it’s Twilight. A fucking meteor could be hurtling towards the planet and somehow, thanks to her, it’d still workout. So yeah, it’ll be fine. Just go home, and sleep, Anon.
“Yes, that is most certainly true, the truest of truths that is not a lie by any means. Now then, I wish you a very good night, Anon. And pleasant dreams.” Luna tells you as she gives you a gentle pat on the head. "And I wish you luck in your endeavors. I truly hope you succeed."
“Y-yeah thanks. Erm, Princess Luna. You have a good night dreamwalking and stuff. And thanks again, really, good to know you think so highly of me. Erm, night!” Ugh… Yeah, just go home.
A couple of days pass since your meeting with Luna. Jimmy was defeated by your lie, and surprisingly, he lived up to his word and left you alone. Of course, he did accuse you of lying, but couldn’t sense if you were due to that smug aura of yours. He’d never learn the truth, and that was fine with you.
As the days pass, everything remains mostly calm. Classes were high energy at times, especially with Rainbow, Applejack, or Pinkie. Chancellor Neighsay continued to not cause a ruckus, thanks to the continued letters that you sent saying you were still investigating. And Chrysalis still hadn’t made a move yet, which was fine with you... Mostly.
For today, you had a thing you had to get to with Gallus, Yona, and Sandbar. It was something Cozy set up, saying that if you all were going to hang out as a big group of friends with the CMC, then you needed to spend time with the friends you hadn’t interacted with too much. Now, you didn’t know what you were going to do, as it was Cozy who had something lined up. But whatever, she was probably right, and things would probably be fine.
But before you could even do that…
“...Anon, are you sure she hasn’t tried anything? She hasn’t even hinted at some sort of plan yet?” Twilight asked, as she paced around her office, Spike trying his best to keep things calm as Scrappy merely stared.
“Like I said, she’s been more content with the stuff I’ve given her than coming up with a plan. If anything, I’d say it’s something. Normally she’d be scheming nonstop, so revenge not being a priority must mean she's calming down. I’m just worried about that time limit. I don’t even know if there is one, but she insists there is. I hate to say it, Twilight, but I kinda wish she’d come up with something.” You tell her, looking at her. Man, you could tell she was jittery about it. If only she knew what Celestia and Luna had in store for her, christ.
“I dunno. Scrappy, does that sound like Chrysalis to you?” Spike asked.
“No, so it has to be both!” Scrappy said as he hopped on Twilight’s desk, making gestures that suggested both laziness and cunning in regards to Chrysalis. “She loves human things, so she would probably try to enjoy them as much as she can. But to say she isn’t planning? Oh, trust me, she is, she really is! Anon is just wrong, that’s all. Obviously the queen wouldn’t tell him what she has planned, she never does that unless he’s part of that plan. The old misdirect maneuver, vroom!” Scrappy says as he thrusts his paw forward, falling off the desk.
“She’d tell me! She’s at the point where she tells me pretty much everything. Not like she has anypony else to talk to out there. I’m her best friend, more than ever at this point.” You explain with an annoyed hop. Like, if she had a plan, she’d tell it to you just because she’d believe nothing could stop her. But then you realized, yeah, given how she still teases you and still gets angry at the drop of a hat. “... Or maybe not, she still gives me trouble. But I stand by that she doesn’t seem to have anything planned. She really is spending most of her time lounging around.”
Scrappy went silent for a moment as he slowly came out from the side of the desk and sighs. “And, I hate to admit this about the queen, but she does spend a lot of her time wishing revenge rather than getting it.” Scrappy said with a little whine, his ears folding. “I hope she doesn’t take too long, I don’t want her to disappear.”
“Scrappy, hey.” Spike walks up to Scrappy to gently pat him on the head. “It’ll be ok. I’m sure she’s got a really good plan to take down… Ok, I’m gonna stop myself right there. Let’s just say she has a plan, and she’s just waiting for the right time to pull it off, how about that?” Spike didn't really like the idea of Chrysalis having a 'good' plan, one good enough to take down Twilight.
“I really hope so.” Scrappy says with a sigh as he begins to lay on the ground.
“And even then, we have to make sure she feels welcomed after her plan fails. It’s actually one of the reasons I asked to see you, Anon.” Twilight says as her attention turns from Scrappy to you. “I felt it, I know I made some kind of connection with her before. So I wanted to ask you, if she really has come to connect with you over human things, things she seems to enjoy like documentaries and fast derby cars; Then if I’m going to be her friend, well, I’m going to have to immerse myself too in human culture.”
“Woah, Twilight, you didn’t mention that being the reason you wanted to see Anon. Can you handle that? What about all those nightmares about brain bugs?” Spike asked, shocked at Twilight’s words.
“Urgh.” Twilight flinched, and nearly turned green from the thought. “Ngh, well, while that was really REALLY horrifying. And trust me, it really was, I still have trouble thinking about it, Chrysalis is going to need more than Anon to get along and connect with. So, Anon, I need you to use your magic to produce another documentary that Chrysalis loves, as well as perhaps the kind of vehicle she likes so I can see why she likes it so much. I don’t care if there are even more brain bugs than in ‘Starship Troopers’. I could feel a connection through that documentary, so if she’s looking for somepony to talk to about it, or even watch a few more with, I want to be somepony she can do that with. Not only do I think that it can be fun, but it is a good opportunity to do some more learning about human culture. With that said, I have to further ask, what do you think I should watch?”
Good god, is she crazy? She’s already acting like you agreed to use your magic. Hell, Twilight could still barely handle Starship Troopers on its most intense moments, so showing her Chrysalis’s other favorite film would fucking break her. Given what Celestia had planned, you felt for Twilight, and didn’t want to subject her to ‘Goodfellas’. “Twilight, I can do the whole car thing for you, set up a track for you to safely drive around and everything. But as for films? I’m sorry, I know you can’t handle it.”
“What?!” Twilight said in abject surprise. “Anon, you can’t blame me for what happened before, I don’t think anypony had ever witnessed something like that before. But I’m ready this time, I understand it’s just a film.”
“Twilight, you couldn’t handle a single moment that showed death in it. What makes you think you can handle it now?” You ask her, in huge doubt.
“I’ve had time to get used to the idea and themes of the film. And even then, I have to understand it isn’t really happening, despite how gruesome it is. Anon, me being able to connect with her is more important than the horrific contents of those films. Besides, learning about anypony’s history isn’t meant to be easy anyway. I promise, Anon, I can handle it this time. So, please, can you set up a film for me?” Twilight asked, looking at you with a big shimmering smile as if she was fully prepared for what's to come.
“Woah, hold on there, Twilight. Maybe Anon is on to something there. If these films are really that scary, maybe you shouldn’t watch them.” Spike said, as even the idea of someone’s brain being drained out made him feel intense dread.
“No one is going to force you to watch, Spike. But for me, it has to be done, no matter what.” Twilight said with a sure nod towards him. She then turns towards you, and looks at you with a smirk. “Besides, maybe you only don’t want to show me these films because they scared you too. Anon, I’m mature, and as I said, I know they are only films. So yes, for the hundreth time, I know I will be fine.”
You immediately narrow your eyes towards Twilight. Did she just try to reverse-psychology you? No, fine, sure, let her have it. BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU WERE TRICKED! No, only because she would try something like that on you in the first place. You then roll your eyes as you slap on your horn. “Ok, fine, if you think you can handle it…” You create a large flatscreen TV, a remote, and Goodfellas ready to play. “There it is, it’s called Goodfellas and it runs for about two and a half hours, so you better saddle up.”
“Two and a half hours? Wow, I’ve never seen a film run that long before, it must really be an epic.” Twilight said as she already became excited.
“Goodfellas?” Spike said with a chuckle. “That’s the ‘big scary movie’ we’re about to watch? Anon, were you just messing with us the entire time or what?”
“Oh no, Spike, he wasn’t.” Scrappy said as he began to skulk about, grabbing the remote and nibbling on it before presenting it to Twilight. “It is a film about gangsters! All about them, ohhh yes! The cruel things they do, the way they get around authority, the drama, the suspense! The queen loves this documentary as much as Starship Troopers. It’s a good watch though, even if I don’t get it sometimes.”
“Gangster movie? Hey, that actually sounds pretty cool, I’m totally down to watch something like that, let me just get some snacks and drinks ready, Twilight, and we can be ready to roll.” Spike said, ignorant about what he’s getting into.
“A gangster documentary, huh? Maybe we should get Rarity to sit down and watch it with us, she has been getting into detective books.” Twilight said as she pondered, rubbing her hoof under her chin.
...Christ, you DEFINITELY couldn’t let Miss Rarity go through that. “How about no, Twilight. You’re underestimating humans and what they do, there’s no way Rarity can handle it. How about we just leave her out of this, huh?”
“Anon, the more of us that get used to it, the better it’ll be for you and Chrysalis. In fact, I know Starlight has been interested in human aeronautics. So maybe she’ll be interested in other facets of human culture. Sure, we can make this a little mini gathering. I’ll respect the fact that this may be too much for Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, and I know Applejack and Rainbow Dash are busy anyway, so I think this setup will be for the best.” Twilight said with a sure nod to herself.
...Fuck it, whatever, she was not going to listen. And honestly, it did have that scene where a helicopter chases Henry around, so Starlight might dig that. God, how hilarious would it be to watch Twilight fall on her fucking face whenever someone dies or curses in this film, or hell, the entire criminal aspect throwing her for a loop. Fuck, you wondered how she’d try to eject Spike out of the room the moment shit went south. Sadly, you had to get to the town square to meet up with Gallus, Sandbar, and Yona. But… “You know what, Twilight, you’re absolutely right. So much in the right that I have no clue why I even argued with you. If I could watch with you, I really would, but I do have something to get to. So I hope you, Rarity, Starlight, and Spike enjoy the film. I hope you really do, for the sake of Chrysalis.”
“Thank you, Anon. And don’t worry, alright? I’m sure everything is going to be fine, and it will be a great learning experience.” Twilight said with a cheery smile.
Yeah, you bet. “I’m sure it will. Well, seeya, you all take care! Oh, as for the whole car thing, that remote will open a portal to a test track with a formula one. I know you don’t know what that is, but I custom fitted it for you and you should learn how to ride it pretty quick” That was a lie. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact the thing will bounce off the barriers of the track, you could swear Twilight would wreck it in seconds.
“Understood, I’ll be sure to give it a try after the documentary. I’m sure it’ll be fun!” Twilight said with a lighthearted giggle.
'Fun'... Hoo boy.
And with that, you say your goodbyes as Spike goes to make snacks while Twilight heads off to fetch Rarity and Starlight. Ugh, how could she even throw Rarity into the fray like that? There’s no way in hell Rarity is going to survive Goodfellas, no matter how much she’s gotten to love noir or detective stuff. But the very idea of it was hilarious, and you still wanted a chance to experience it. So, as you walked to the exit of the school, you brought a hoof to your ear. “Discord, yo, you there? Or are you still being an asshole?”
Amazingly, he answers immediately. “Anon, hello! Such vulgar language, as usual. No, no, I’d like to think we’re squarsies at this point. Now, given you are calling me on the codec, I assume you are looking for a favor from me, hm? No freebies this time, Anon, I am going to expect something in return.”
“Discord, how about a favor that mutually benefits both of us?” You tell him, awaiting his answer.
Of course, he scoffs at your suggestion. “Well now, that’s quite interesting. I’m listening, Anon, tell me what this favor is. A favor that somehow benefits the both of us must be truly a juicy proposal.” He says, sarcasm filling his tone.
“I just need you to eavesdrop on Twilight while she watches Goodfellas. I have a feeling her reactions are going to be golden and I want to be updated on whenever she has a few screws loosened. She seriously believes she can handle it, which I know for damn sure she can’t. Even funnier, she’s inviting Starlight and Rarity to watch it with her. It’s a disaster waiting to happen, you know what I mean?” You tell him, hoping its enough to persuade him. But there is only silence, with hints of someone heaving, which can only mean one thing. “Discord, I already can tell you like the idea. It's happening pretty soon ok? So don't wait around and SDFGSRFGSEFRETF” Suddenly you are slammed by a falling viscous liquid as it thrusts you out of the school and into the moat. Dammit, GODDAMMIT, it’s his fucking drool, you can feel it!... This was drool, right? “DAMMIT, DISCORD! Fuck! Did you have to do that?!”
“Anon, how could I not? I was drooling so hard that if I didn’t teleport it towards you, it would have made the house into a mess! Well, I suppose that wouldn’t have been a bad thing. Regardless, I agree to your terms. So relax, go do whatever you were going to do, and let papa Discord handle the rest.” Discord said with a sly evil chuckle.
“Yeah, but damn! Geez, this is fucking gross. And, Oh god! Fucking god, it’s full of phlegm!” Gross! It was so gooey and bad smelling, christ! It felt so gross to the touch that it made you just sink into the water to get away from it, the very texture making you shiver.
“Phlegm? Oh, that! That’s not phlegm, that’s a new type of nitroglycerin I was producing in my body. Yes, I know, why do that when I can become a living firework on my own. Well, Anon, sometimes a bit of authenticity makes the experience that much better. In fact, I had created a match with it that ignites once it comes in contact with H20. But then I accidentally swallowed it, I wonder where it ended up?” Discord said, wondering.
Wut?
Your eyes then slowly shift to the right when you notice a small stick floating down towards you, sparking, and then suddenly igniting.
Maybe he wasn’t really over it…
And with that, the ‘phlegm’ explodes, launching you out of the moat and towards Ponyville as you screamed for dear life. Not the first time this happens to you, but it was never enjoyable to begin with.
Goddammit, of course Discord would do this, of course Discord would blow you the fuck up for shits and giggles or his crappy little revenge scheme. Whatever, you may be up in the sky, but you still have a way out without having to waste your last charge. “Hehe, you think you got me this time, Discord? I got my saddle bag, motherfucker, and you know what that means.” You snicker as your ascent began to turn into a descent.
You reach into your saddlebag and begin to rummage around. “School stuff, bits, school stuff, Starlight hook, bits, bits, more bits… Ah, here we go!” You yell out as you hold up your cardboard wings in triumph. “I am one smart guy. Alright, been awhile since I used these things but all I gotta do is plop it on my back and there we go!” You place the wings on your back as they change into bonafide pegasus wings. Unfortunately, not only were you on a hard fall at this point, but you also forgot using the wings required actual flight skills, skills you had since forgotten. “SHIT! IT HAS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I USED THESE THINGS! GYAAAAH!” You weren’t able to catch yourself as you spiraled towards the ground. And with a splash, you end up in the fountain near town square. Nearly choking, you swim back up and hang over the edge as you spit up water. “G-guh, d-dammit, I should have just used the damn horn.”
“Woah, Anon, that was an awesome entrance. You even left a sweet smoke trail up in the sky!” Came the familiar voice of a sea green pony.
Wut? Smoke trail? You look up in the sky to see that there was indeed a trail, you then lift your ass a bit to see behind yourself, noticing that your tail was frazzled and charred. You sink your ass back in the water to wash it off, then groan. “I’m gonna kill him, I… Wait.” You look ahead to see Gallus, Yona, and Sandbar. Oh shit! You landed right where you needed to be! “O-oh, hey fellas… Er, you thought my entrance was awesome?”
Yona nods. “Yes! Yona almost thought you were falling, but Yona can see you have pegasus wings, so you must have dived down to make big splashy entrance.”
Gallus shrugs. “Gotta say, it was pretty cool. Gonna take a guess that those wings are just another trick you got, right?”
“Er, y-yeah. Heh, you guys better get used to this, I have a thing for flashy entrances and exits.” Just play it cool, Anon. They have no fucking idea Discord had just blown you up.
“Hey, as long as you’re not breaking your bones, that’s fine with me. I mean, as long as it doesn’t get obnoxious or creepy or anything either.” Gallus says, shivering a bit from the thought of you removing your skin again. "Just saying, being annoyed stinks."
“Relax, I always make sure it’s something cool. But, er, enough about me. Cozy said she had something for us to do together, right?” You asked, noticing four carts with containers behind the group. “Got anything to do with those carts?”
“Oh, yeah actually. Cozy totally came up with this awesome idea to give out free apple pie slices to the ponies of ponyville. She made enough that each container has fifteen slices for each of us to give out, really big pieces too, almost half a pie each. Not only is it gonna be a really nice thing to do for everycreature, but it’s really awesome Cozy would even take the time to make all these pies. We’re gonna make a lot of townsponies really happy.” Sandbar said with excitement as he stepped back to attach a cart to himself.
“Man, you’re saying the word free and I barely feel a thing. I guess friendship classes are really working out after all. I’m down with this and all but…” Gallus seemed to become a bit skittish as he too attached a cart to himself. “Let’s just not go and say we got all these pies to everycreature, huh? I’d rather not deal with a crowd. It’s, uh, just annoying.”
“Don’t worry, Gallus, I know what you’re saying. We’d probably upset a lot of ponies if we just let everypony know we had pies to give. Y’know, since we don’t have enough for everycreature. So let’s just stick to the plan and hand them out while making it look like we’re selling them, it’ll be easy.” Sandbar said, doing his best to reassure Gallus.
Apple pies? Fifteen each? Sixty slices is a lot if the sizes are to be believed. “Cozy just made a lot of apple pies just like that? Where did she get the apples? I have been in her room and I never saw any.”
“Yona remembers Cozy saying that she had been keeping them near the Everfree Forest to keep them fresh. But Yona doesn’t know where she got them, doesn’t ponies sell apples?” Yona asked, being sure that apples were commonly sold in Ponyville.
“I guess. But…” Why did you suddenly get a dreadful feeling? “Did she get all the apples specifically for this?” You ask again, feeling more inquisitive by the moment.
Sandbar shrugged. “I don’t think so. I asked her too and all she said is she had too many apples that she couldn’t do anything with anymore. But hey! Better they get some use than go to waste, right?” Sandbar said with unbounded enthusiasm.
Too many apples? How did she end up with too many? Nooo, no, no. You could already see where you were going with this. You remember the rotten apples and baskets back where you found the Storm Ravager’s arm. But that had nothing to do with her, right? If anything, it would make more sense that the bastard may have been taking her hoard of apples. But then, wouldn’t he have been noticed by someone? Maybe at least Zecora. Mnnn, you doubted Cozy had anything to do with it, but you weren’t going to be the idiot who doesn't ask questions. You’ll just have to play it cool, and just hint at it. If she acts ignorant and unsuspicious, then it’ll be fine. Heh, you’re a genius, Anon. The mane six, even if they made the connection, would have dismissed it. Then again, that worries you, as it implies in your mind that Cozy has something to do with the Storm Ravager. But nope, she probably doesn’t, you just need to deduce it when you can. “Ah, er, I see. Shall we get started then?”
“Yeah!” Yona said with a high hop, her coming down shaking everyone as you are literally sent a few feet up, only to land back down on your head.
“Anon! Yo, are you ok?!” Sandbar asked, already attempting to tend to you.
“Oh no! Yona sorry, Yona forget that happens when she gets excited.” Yona said, blushing and embarrassed about her earth shaking excitement.
“No, it’s fine. This doesn’t even phase me anymore.” and it probably never will again. “Let’s just do this.”
And so, the four of you went off onto the roads of Ponyville, looking for ponies who might need a pick-me-up with some delicious pie. But Cozy Glow, and apple pies? It’s a coincidence for sure. You knew nothing will really come of it when you ask her, simply because making back and forth trips that deep into the forest would be suicide for a filly like her. It's too unlikely. Then again, while the trope is the more suspicious you act, the less likely you are to do it; That trope was turned completely on its head when Twilight accused Chrysalis when she was pretending to be Cadance. But nah, that's not a thing, she's a child, and not a demon either. It had to be fine.
“So, are we really doing this meet up thing at that old castle in the forest? Isn’t it, I dunno, falling apart or something?” Gallus asked as he looked to Sandbar
“Yup, but don’t worry, it’s totally safe! Cozy and Smolder said the place seems pretty sturdy, and it’s really empty too! A perfect place for a party. We just shouldn’t go and explore it too much though, since it apparently has a lot of weird secret walls and stuff.” Sandbar replied.
Wut? “Cozy and Smolder went to the old castle? As in, inside the Everfree? Why?” Oh god, you were gonna sound like a pussy but… “That’s pretty dangerous if you ask me. Last time I went there, there was a chimera.”
“Well, there isn’t one now. And didn’t you say Applebloom goes into the forest all the time to meet a zebra named Zecora? Doesn’t seem that bad to me.” Sandbar said with a shrug.
“Even if it was bad, Yona not let any forest monster hurt her friends anyway. Besides, where else would all of us meet?” Yona asks.
“The school?” Like, that seemed simple enough.
“Yeah, no. I like the school and all, but none of the dorms there fit all of us. And even if it did, it’s a tight fit. I’m fine with the castle. Besides, nocreature is going to bother us out there.” Gallus said, just looking ahead with that same stoic and seemingly uninterested expression he usually gives. Odd, he doesn’t seem to like being in crowded spots. You'd question it, but, you wanted to question something else. As things with Cozy was seeming more and more off.
“I guess, but who even suggested the castle?” You ask.
“Cozy Glow. Yona think we should be thankful Cozy is making all the plans for us, she good pony.” Yona says with a happy nod.
Ok… Wait, before you start deducing. “And Smolder checked out the castle with her? Why Smolder?” For protection, it has to be.
“Protection. She’s scared of going into the forest alone, and Smolder liked the idea of exploring an old castle. So it worked out.” Sandbar said as he began to look around. “Guys, maybe we should stop here and start offering pies. They aren’t going to stay warm forever.”
Ha! As you thought! Cozy can’t handle the forest, so she couldn’t have been going in to meet with the Storm Ravager. Whew, and here you thought things were about to get ugly. And as you thought this, you began to hear the codec ring in your ear. “Ah! Oh, yeah let’s stop here, I’m getting a call right now.”
“A call?” Gallus looked around, then put his talons next to his ear to listen for something. “I don’t hear anything.”
“Oh, haha! Right. I got this thing in my ear I call a ‘codec’. Let's me talk to my dad from anywhere in Equestria. Erm, it’s usually for important stuff. So, er, can you guys give me a second?” You ask as you begin to step away, before Yona stopped you with her body, just standing behind you. She was curious to find this 'codec', and ‘gently’ grabbed onto your ear with her hooves and brought her own ear close.
“That weird, Yona doesn’t hear anything.” She said as she tugged a ‘little’ harder, causing you yelp as you pulled away, your entire body trembling in a quick and sudden shot of pain as your ear felt stretched like a rubber band.
“Y-Yikes! Yow! Woah, Yona, geez! Personal space, please! Look, I promise you, I got one of these. It’s just in a way only I can hear it.” Oof, your head may be invincible, but it freaking felt like she was going to rip your ear off! “G-geez, my ear is tender now.”
“Oh no, Yona sorry! Yona assumed since head was strong, ears were strong too!” Yona got worried, she had never outright hurt anyone before. She grabs onto you, and you nearly screamed for dear life until you realized she somehow wasn’t snapping your back in two.
“Y-yona? A-are you ok? Wow… You hug pretty soft.” God… ‘You hug pretty soft’. What the hell is that? You sound like a damn nerd saying that. But it was the truth, her hug was pretty comforting.
“Yona yak, and yak strongest there is, so yak have to learn to hug soft for hugs with not yaks. Is Anon ok, really?” Yona said as she held you up, looking at you with big watery eyes.
“Uh, yeah, it’s fine. No worries, Yona. It’s ok.” You tell her, giving her a reassuring smile.
“YAY! YONA HAPPY THAT ANON FORGIVES YONA!” Yona said as she nearly snapped you like a twig. Gyah! So much for holding back!
“N-nghhh!” Was all you could get out as she smothered and nearly crushed you before putting you down. She looked at you, confused, and asked if you were ok again. You merely waved your hoof, said in a crushed tone that you were fine, and clumsily walked off to take the call.
“O-ogh, geez, I don’t think my back is going to recover from that one. Why is Discord even calling? Did something big happen already?” You slip into an alleyway and answer your codec, only to have your eardrum nearly obliterated by the shrieks of three mares.
“Gyah! What in the?! Argh! Ngh!” You couldn’t even rip the codec out, holy shit, it was like a damned banshee. “Discord! What in the fuck is that!” Like damn, what’s with the sudden ear abuse?
“Oh, don’t blame me, Anon. That was merely the shriek of Twilight and her friends. You know, when that Tommy fellow let loose on that poor waiter. Really, it got me too, terribly violent. Well below the spectrum of anything I’d do. Anyway, I thought you might want to hear some of their commentary. Let me just adjust things and…” And suddenly, you can hear the voices of Rarity, Starlight, and Twilight.
“Twilight, this is getting absurd! I cannot believe anypony would or even could derive enjoyment from this… Filth. Not the film itself, mind you, as I find this in depth look into the seedy underbelly of human organized crime to be interesting, if vulgar. Are we supposed to identify with this Tommy person? I certainly hope not, which is why I’m glad we had poor Spike leave the room before… This!” Welp, that was Rarity. And indeed, it seemed she really was intrigued, and yet disgusted, by the movie. She just must really hate Tommy.
There was no response from Twilight.
“Twilight, are you ok? Y-you’re giving us a pretty creepy look.” Starlight said with a gulp.
“M-me? Oh, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? I’ve only witnessed the sullying of family values, the bribing of those who are supposed to protect the people, a corrupt social system, and pointless loss of life. Why wouldn’t I be ok? It’s just a documentary, juuuust a documentary! It’s nearly over, right?” Twilight said, her voice shaking, filled with a false positivity that even you could detect without seeing what her expression must be.
“Darling, I think we’re still in the beginning and… Oh dear, Twilight, are you alright?!” Rarity said in sudden shock.
“Nope, she’s out. Yikes, this is going to be a rough next few hours. Scrappy, this is only going to get worse, right?” Starlight asks, rather calmly.
“Yes and no, lots of crazy and not crazy and confusing stuff happens.” Scrappy suddenly lets out a whimper “And near the end, something happens that made the queen very sad.”
“Very sad? Chrysalis, sad? Whatever could that be? It seems to me that she rather… Ooooooh, would I be correct in saying that justice eventually does get served?” Rarity asked.
“Yes… I guess. But you should really watch it to the end to see what happens. It’s really neat!” Scrappy said with excitement before whimpering again “And sad.”
“Well, I’m just going to put it on pause until we can wake Twilight up. I’m also going to get some of the pillows from my office, I have a feeling we’re gonna need them.” Starlight said, probably implying that she needed them to place under Twilight.
“Anon, this is simply too good, I can’t believe you aren’t here to witness this yourself! What were you doing again?” Discord asked.
“Just some friend stuff I gotta deal with, it’ll be fine. I did want to see Twilight faint though. Christ, things haven’t even started and she’s already down for the count. Wonder how she’ll handle Henry being an adulterer after he has kids… Wonder how she’ll handle the fact his kids are exposed to this at all.” You say as you wondered about it. Oh yeah, Twilight might actually die from the movie before Chrysalis ever gets her chance at her.
“Oh, whatever it might be, this more than makes up for embarrassing me in front of her brother. It really does feel lonely, however, watching this by myself. Are you sure you can’t join in on all this fun?” Discord asked. Damn, you didn’t expect him to suddenly ask for your company like that. Shit, you kinda wish you could sit and watch everything with him, but…
“Sorry, Discord, I really am. But hey, keep me posted, ok? I at least want to listen in on the juicy moments.” Like, after that? It was worth your ears nearly exploding.
Discord let out a sigh of disappointment. “I will, I guess, not as fun as seeing it though. Well, whatever, you enjoy your silly friend thing and I’ll give you a call when anything hilarious happens.”
“Thanks, Discord. And don’t sound so down, ok? I’m sure we can do something like this together soon.” You say, in an upbeat manner to try to get him to cheer up.
“I certainly hope so. And whatever that might be, eh, I hope it'll at least half as good as this.” Discord said as he closed the call. Poor guy, you really didn't expect him to put down by you not being there.
Damn, now you kind of regret coming when you could be enjoying Twilight being a total spaz. You and Discord could have really made an afternoon of it. Ugh, stuck giving out apple pies, how fucking boring.
Why did it bother you? As you and your friends continued into Ponyville, giving passerbys pies, making friendly chit chats with one another, your thoughts couldn’t leave the possibility that Cozy might be connected to the Storm Ravager. But, why? How could that even be a thing? Every time you think it is a possibility, you come up with a rational reason as to why it isn’t. So if it isn’t, why does it irk you that it possibly can be? She’s an innocent filly, he’s an evil king, it’d make no sense and…
“Hey, Anon, I got a question.” You feel a grasp of talons on your side as you are gently shaken. “If you’re here to answer it. You alright?” Gallus asked, noticing you a little distressed due to your thoughts.
“Wha?” You shook your head and looked over to Gallus, giving him a false but sincere smile. “Yeah, yeah, just kinda zoned out from the pie giving. What’s up?”
“Well, it’s kind of a tough question to ask. If you’ve ever been to Griffonstone, you’d know friendship isn’t really a thing we’re interested in. Yeah, yeah, I know I have you guys and all. I get it, I get that, so my question is what do you think about us? I mean griffons and yaks. You never seem to talk about your thoughts much and you kinda seem to not really wanna hang around me and Yona.” Gallus asked. And, why did that even bother him? You didn't take him as the type to care about that.
“Gallus, hey, you’re not feeling lonely, are you? You still got us! And like I said, Anon is usually busy all the time. Do you see how many friends he has? I know if I had that many, was a hero, and lived in the chaos dimension, it’d be hard for me to juggle friendships too.” Sandbar tried to answer for you, in an optimistic sense.
“No, I get that. And, no, it’s not because I feel lonely. Trust me, being a loner was my thing before I even showed up in Ponyville. Ok, I was trying to not be so on the nose, but fine, let me just ask the question in the way I really mean. Anon, do you just have a crush on Silverstream, Ocellus, and Smolder? I’m just asking because it’s weird and I already know you got a marefriend. Really, what gives about all that?” Holy shit, that's what he meant?! Fuck! Were you that obvious?!
“Woah, is that why Anon likes to hang out with them so much? Does Anon also have crush on Cozy Glow? Yona wanna know!” Yona, curious, and demanding to know just to try to understand it, peers over to you, staring directly into your eyes… Until suddenly. “But wait, if Anon has crush on them, then why doesn’t Anon have crush on Yona?”
Sandbar suddenly started to twitch at the accusations, worried. Did he think there was some truth to the accusations? Or was it something else? “H-hey, guys! What kind of questions are those?! Nopony is like t-that!”
You gulped. Goddammit, yes, you get little attractions here and there. But fuck, you were loyal to Diamond! You haven’t made a pass on any of them. And dammit, Yona, what can you even say about her? You’d never make a pass at her, despite her personality being kinda cute, she just didn't have 'the look'. “S-sandbar is right, think about it. I kinda already knew Ocellus already, same with Smolder, I met them before I became a student at the school. Same goes for Cozy, which might I add, just needed a lot of my help. As for Silverstream, c’mon Gallus, she always wants to hang out with me for my hero stories and stuff. So wouldn’t it make sense that I hang with them the most, with only it being a coincidence that their girls? I mean, hello, have you looked around? Almost everycreature is a girl.”
Everyone stops right there for a moment to look at each other, before Gallus just shrugs. “That makes sense. Weird, now that I think about it, there are a lot of girls.”
“Yona agree, but Yona also glad Anon don’t have crush on Yona. Because there would be crushing when Anon and Yona cuddle, and Yona don’t want that to happen.” Yona said. Christ, cuddling? As in, a friendly snuggle cuddle in bed? Yikes, thinking about it and how easily your bones broke, you couldn't imagine that strength and weight passionately hugging you without your ribs sticking through your chest. But as you thought these thoughts, you started to hear a ringing in your ear, ending the conversation immediatly.
“Yeah and… Ah, wait wait. Getting another call, gimme a second.” You tell the group as your codec goes off.
“Man, your dad is kinda needy, this is like the sixth time he’s called you. Is he ok?” Gallus asked, seeming a little annoyed by the fact you’ve had to excuse yourself for status updates on Twilight.
“Yeah, he’s just, uh, working on a project and just needs my input. Trust me, this isn’t usually a thing, I promise. I’ll be right back.” You tell Gallus as you begin to inch backwards.
“Ok then, I guess we’ll scout around for a few more ponies to give these pies to.” Gallus said as he waved his talons to beckon Sandbar and Yona to come along with him.
Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! What’s happened now! You just had to know! The moment you got away from the group, you ducked between some trashcans next to one of the many cottage-like homes of Ponyville and clicked your codec. “What’s up this time, Discord? Oooooh, anything juicy?”
“You’d think so, but actually no. Things have, however, taken an interesting turn of events.” Discord said, with focused interest in his tone.
“What, did they force Twilight out of the room or something?” You asked, curious as to what he meant.
“Not at all. Here, take a listen, it might interest you more than it does even me.” Discord said as you suddenly began to hear Rarity’s voice.
“...So, that’s it then. I believe this is the beginning of the end for Tommy. If I have been understanding things correctly thus far, this barbaric act of taking out one of their own, namely, one who is ‘made’, is similar to the consequences one pony would face if they too did such a similar act. In fact, if it truly matches everything I’ve ever read, this is the point where everything goes wrong for everycreature in that group. What are your thoughts, Twilight?” There is silence for a moment. “Twilight? Oh dear, are you still rattled by this? It is only a film, Twilight, and if I can speak for myself, the shock value has already lost its impact. Yes, such acts of violence are still terrifying, but Twilight, really, you should have become used to it by now.” Rarity said.
“I dunno, Rarity. As interested as I am in seeing this, that was pretty brutal. Twilight, you’re not imagining ponies doing things like this, are you?” Starlight asked.
Twilight’s voice was a little shaky. Considering the brain bug shit, was she still having trouble adjusting? “I-I am. I’m not going to stop watching, and I don’t mean to act so timid, but girls, just watching this just makes me wonder what kind of influences Anon had back in his world. It’s difficult not to think about, it actually makes me feel… Worried about him, it makes me think that maybe there’s a part of him screaming for help, a cry we just never noticed.”
“What? Twilight, hold on, you’re looking waaaayyyyyy too much into this.” Starlight said.
“Indeed, Anon is merely a child. Other than the fact that his parents shouldn’t have allowed him to view such material so early in his life, I happen to think he’s quite well adjusted.” And as Rarity said that, there was a sudden dead silence, something that must have spooked her. “Starlight, Twilight? Are you both alright? Did I say something wrong?”
“Oh no no! Right! Anon, child, of course!” Starlight said, with an audible gulp.
“Haha! Yeah, what was I even thinking. Erm, um, Rarity! Um, you also mentioned you figured out what the term ‘Turn on’ means. Mind, er, filling us in on that?” Twilight said, nervous as all hell. Oh boy, did Twilight not understand that either? Did she really shift the conversation to the meaning of sexual arousal? Ha! And Discord said this wasn't juicy. But what gives with Twilight thinking you were screaming for help? Bah, she was being too sentimental.
“Ah, yes, ahrm. Now, as ladies, you may not like what I have to say, but I do believe it means to be ‘attracted’, in the sense of being, well, how do I put this in an inoffensive manner?” Rarity said, as she stopped herself in thought.
“It means that she wants to go to bed with Henry and do ‘sexual’ stuff to him, or him to her, or, er, I forget. The queen explained it to me once and-Gyah!” Suddenly, Scrappy lets out a yelp as all the girls, aside from Starlight, gasp in surprise. “What’s wrong?!”
“Scrappy! My word! You are in the presence of ladies! That kind of talk is not something you just say as casually as you just have!” Rarity said, utterly shocked.
“Scrappy, y-you already know about all that? You… Haven’t said anything like that around Applebloom, have you?” Twilight asked, hoping deep in her heart he hadn’t.
“Oh no no no! I never talk about human things to Master Applebloom. She’s even asked sometimes, but I know not to say a thing, as I am her protector! It’s why I would EVISCERATE Anon if he ever mentioned stuff like that to her. Hey, I used a big word, that’s how you use that word, right? I learned it from the Queen too.” Scrappy said, ignorant, and happily.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t done that to Anon already, if that’s the case.” Starlight muttered to herself.
“Scrappy, why would Anon ever say such a thing? As far as I know, he is quite the gentlecolt. What? Is this something he has said before?” Rarity asked him, before probably noticing the looks on Twilight and Starlight. “Why are you both looking away from me like that?”
“Oh, er, because it’s, er, shameful to even… Think that?” Starlight said, another gulp coming out of her. “I mean, we know Scrappy, always wanting to crush Anon in something.”
“Yes! Because all glory must belong to the Apple family! All hail Master Applebloom!” Scrappy announced, probably with a salute.
“Right… I often forget about that odd grudge you have with him. Ahrm, that being said, let us continue with the documentary, shall we? It is rather long, and I’m sure we all have things to do.” Rarity said, feeling uneasy all of a sudden.
“Bwhahahaha! Never mind, that was hilarious! Eviscerate, he says. I must agree with Starlight, even I’m surprised he hasn’t turned you into a frappe yet. And poor Twilight, poor poor purple princess. You’d think she’d be over the violence by now, but it still seems to get to her.” Discord said with a cackle.
“Hey! There’s no way Scrappy can beat me! I don’t even need the horn, I can beat him without it.” You shout. “He’s dumb as hell, remember?
“I somehow think he just lets you think that. Tell me, if he is so dumb, then why have I never heard the word ‘Checkmate’ come out of your mouth?” Discord said with a lowly chuckle.
“Because!... Because… Man, fuck off, what does that have to do with anything?” Fine, Scrappy was good at chess, that didn’t mean jack shit, he practically plays everyday.
“They say the game of chess shows the true genius, or lack thereof, of the players who play it. Given how good a player Scrappy is, I’d like to think that he is merely hiding his cunning and skill. Maybe he just holds back because he’s afraid of reducing you into something that is less than nothing.” Discord said, in a lighthearted and yet, teasing tone.
“Bullshit, that doesn’t mean crap. And besides, you don’t think that applies to you too?” What is this arrogant asshole even talking about?!
“Apply to me? Are you implying I can’t beat him at a simple game of chess?” Oh yeah, that changed his tone real quick.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. If Twilight can beat you, and Fluttershy can tame you, then Scrappy can outsmart you, since he can outsmart Twilight. How about that, huh?” Let’s see how he reacts to that!
“Nice try, Anon, but I really don’t care if he can beat me in chess or not. It’s a game that doesn’t hold my attention. Too uniform, symmetrical, and quite black and white. Of course there is a possibility that I’d lose. I could, perhaps, beat him, but only perhaps. However, in all things chaos, and in a fight, I already know I’d win. As for Twilight, it wasn’t just her, the numbers were utterly and completely not in my favor. Now then, let’s not have this squabble, hm? I’d hate to be in a mood where I don’t call you on further moments like these.” Discord said, seemingly calming himself.
But you weren’t done. “Perhaps? Wait, hold on, are you actually admitting that you can’t beat Scrappy at chess? I dunno, Discord, no squabbles? Sounds like you just don’t want to talk about it.” Fuck him, he can get mad about Shining, but you can’t get mad at him insulting you? Nah, fuck that.
“I’m a humble Draconequus. Anon, even I have to admit that I’m not good at everything, nopony is. We have our faults, our vices, our weaknesses, and everything in between. Now, despite that, I am good… No, perfect at everything I DO set out to do, that much is clear. Could you imagine, Anon, me being perfect at absolutely everything? Life wouldn’t be very fun at all, now would it?” Discord said rather smugly.
“What?! Fuck off, you’re always saying you’re best at everything!” What the hell is he getting at now?!
“Ah, have I now? How foolish of me. Forgive me, Anon, I do have those moments. But we both know it isn’t true. Do you recall our bowling match? I did fairly terribly, didn’t I?” Discord said, as he suddenly began to sound mournful.
Wut? “I do… I mean, you were kind of…” You stop yourself. Weird he’d mention that, unless he meant what he said, which he normally fucking doesn’t. “Ok, hold on, what are you trying to pull now?”
“Pull? Nothing, Anon. I’d like to think I’m just striking the heart of the issue. Trust me when I say this, I have been trying to improve myself in skills I lack. So please, spare me of more of your insults.” Discord said with a saddened sigh.
“Really? Wow, I didn’t know you were actually practicing, Discord. Hey, look, I’m sorry, I just got a little sensitive, ok? I mean, if you want, I can help you hone your skills. You’d be cool with that, right?” You ask him. You were surprised he'd actually admit to sucking at bowling. Discord never, ever, admitted to outright being shit at something to you. At least unless he was called out on it. It made you feel as if he was now understanding what humility might be.
“Completely, I’m very glad to hear you say that, Anon. Because I really need a goal to aim at.” He replies, his mood lifting almost immediately.
“Sure thing, when I get home, I’ll feFDSAFSDFDF” And suddenly, you are smacked by a suddenly appearing bowling ball, causing you to explode into ten pins as you fly out of the alley, towards your friends, and one Lily Valley as you crash onto the ground, hearing Discord yelling “Strike!” before ending the call.
Everyone gathers around you, looking at you oddly, until Gallus says “Anon? Is that you? Why are you a bunch of bowling pins?” He didn't even seemed phased at this point. Guess he wouldn't be after what happened before.
“Don’t ask…” Dammit, you walked right into it. All of your pin selves spoke at once, as one entity.
“Those pins just talked! THOSE PINS JUST TALKED! We’re doomed!” Lily yelled out as she began to look around. “Gyah! What about the houses?! What if they're alive too?! What if they… Eat us! Oooohhhhhhhhhh” She shouted in fright before falling over, a slice of pie falling out of her hooves and onto her face.
“Huh… Now I’m just surprised none of the ponies of this town haven’t been locked up in some asylum or something. No joke, she reacted worse than I did when you did the whole bone thing. Do they all react like she does?” Gallus asked, just pointing down at the fallen mare.
“No, not really. And, uh, anycreature wanna put me back together? Sorta lacking limbs at the moment.” You ask… Fucking Discord, he just had to get one in on you…. What an asshole.
Dammit, Discord, that was humiliating. He says you have chaos resistance, but you’d think that would mean not literally turning into bowling pins from a hit from a bowling ball. Sandbar seemed irked by it, Gallus didn’t seem too worried, and Yona? Well she-HEY! “Yona?!” She was bopping your head slowly. “Yona?! Yona, what are you doing?”
“Yona trying to see if Anon fall apart again. Are you sure you pony?” Yona asked as she gave you another ‘gentle’ bop that nearly made you fall over.
“Yes, I’m sure! S-sheesh. Look, like I said, it was just my dad hitting me with his magic. That doesn’t normally happen.” You try to explain to her.
“Yeah, but, why did he do that exactly? Was that ‘important’?” Gallus inquired “Because it seems like a pretty jerkish move to me.”
“Oh, come on, Gallus. It can’t be that! Why would Anon’s dad be a jerk to him?” Sandbar asked, seemingly naive to the reputation Discord has.
“Are you serious? Look, I’m not going to get into it, but I know when a ‘dad’ is being a jerk. I’m just wondering why he did it.” Gallus, who was usually more cool or calm, seemed suddenly upset by what happened to you.
“Maybe Anon do something bad?” Now Yona began to wonder. Goddammit, you didn’t need this. You already knew Discord could be an ass, you didn’t need anyone else wondering about it. It would just cause problems, or even worse, they’d think you were being abused or something.
“Look, it isn’t like that. Dad is eccentric, and weird, and er, kinda does whatever. Trust me, maybe it seems bad that he hit me with a bowling ball, but I promise you he isn’t a bad guy. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. Seriously, I really wouldn’t. And this?” You show off your horn towards everyone, as a sign that Discord cares. “This gives me direct access to his chaos magic, which helps me out everyday. And when used right, it allows me to be the hero I need to be. Dad’s shenanigans are just something that happens, and he never means any harm. I mean, he even expects a challenge from me from time to time about it. And…” Suddenly, your eyes met with Sandbar.
Why? Because you were still thinking about Cozy, and how you didn’t want her to be guilty. What if everything you knew was a red herring? Sandbar had spoken up for Discord, just like he speaks up for you, and everyone else. He’s always trying to calm the situation down, rally everyone together, and make any experience more pleasant. Hell, unlike Cozy, he never seemed to have an issue with self confidence or friendship. Was he hiding something? Why is he even at the school? Maybe… Maybe now would be a good time to ask him, because now that you thought about it, something didn't seem right. “Well, I guess that’s one of the real reasons I’m a student at the school. Y’know, all this chaos and stuff? It can get ahead of me. I used to have this trouble understanding the headmare’s way of thinking, maybe I still do. I know I went off on a tangent there, but it’s how I feel.”
“Huh, never would have guessed that considering how some of the professors and counselor Starlight seem to adore you.” Gallus seemed skeptical, giving it some extra thought as he considered all his interactions with you. Then it hit him. “Then again, there was the fact Professor Applejack didn’t seem to trust you before. And there was that joke you told. Then there’s Ocellus, she always gets sorta weird when she’s around you, like you got something to hide. So what then, you got a ‘dark side’?”
“Nah, I just have a chaotic side. I grew up around it, even before dad adopted me. I know I may not look it, and I know I'm chaotic in nature, but friendship is very important to me, and I need to learn it as properly as a pony should. Which is why I was kinda wondering why you’re attending the school, Sandbar.” Finally, a way in! Ok, your reasoning to suspect Sandbar was bullshit, but you never know if one can be a twist villain or not.
“W-wha? Me? What? Why are you asking? I-I mean, erm, uhm…” Sandbar had to take a moment as he stammered out his words. Why did he suddenly seem so nervous? Unless… “Well, uhm, that’s sort of hard to say.”
Oh, is it? Hmmmmm… “Well, I’m asking because you don’t seem like you need to be at the school. You’re confident, trusting, loyal, nice, and always trying to make sure we don’t argue or fall apart. If there’s even one little argument to be had, you always do your best to make sure we don’t fight. Y’know, it just seems to me you understand the magic of friendship quite well. Plus, and this is just me thinking, I don’t even remember seeing you around Ponyville until recently. It made me wonder if you had any reason aside from friendship to attend the school.”
Gallus and Yona suddenly gave you a hard stare, and while Yona seemed more curious at your inquiry, Gallus didn’t seem to like what you were saying. “Why does it sound like you’re accusing him of something?”
“What? Hey, I’m not accusing him of anything.” Holy fuck, you weren’t, you were just suspicious. But then, why? Why were you? On a hunch? On a trope? The pony way would tell you what you’re doing is wrong, and it isn’t right to suspect Sandbar on literally nothing. But fuck it man, the Storm Ravager and anything dealing with him was not something you needed to be public, nor did you need any of his cronies walking about. “I don’t even know where you’d get an idea like that. I can’t be curious? I mean, I live here, I have met a lot of ponies here. I was just wondering, like, y’know... Sandbar is a super cool dude, I just think he understands friendship pretty perfectly is all.”
“Gallus, it’s ok, Anon is being pretty cool actually, uh.” And despite saying that, he seemed more and more uncomfortable. “I mean, that means a lot coming from you, y’know? Since you’re the hero colt and all. But I really need these classes, I just. Look, I just…” Sandbar suddenly became really timid, and began to look down in shame. “I never really had any friends until I met you guys. And…” Sandbar suddenly seized up.
“S-sandbar? A-are you ok?” Yona suddenly became worried, very worried, and walked up and gently rubbed his back without sending him into the ground. Like seriously, she is capable of gentle touch after all.
“Woah, hey, Sandbar? What’s up?” Even Gallus became visibly worried about him, he then shot a glance at you. “Ok, look, let’s just cut it out and get rid of the last of these pies, alright? Can we do that?”
Dammit! He is hiding something! “Yeah, but, erm. Look, Sandbar, we’re all friends here. In fact, I’d say you’re one of my best friends already.”
Everyone stopped, just everyone. Yona looked confused, Gallus had a ‘Is this guy serious?’ face, but Sandbar? Suddenly, his eyes shimmered as he looked onto you, amazed. “R-really?”
“Yeah!” You lied
“Wow, I thought we were sort of not connecting. I thought it was my fault.” Sandbar said as he looked down for a moment, then looked to you all. “But, that's the thing. I always try to keep us together because I’m afraid. I’m afraid we’d fall apart, or stop being friends, or fight, all because of something I did or, erm, didn’t do. I want us all to be friends, but I was seriously thinking that I was annoying you in some way, Anon. And it made me think, maybe everycreature found me annoying.” Sandbar said as he looked upon Yona and Gallus, a great big frown on his face.
“Why would you think that? Geez, maybe I should try to get excited over more things, because I didn’t mean to give off that impression.” Gallus said, feeling, perhaps, maybe he did do something wrong.
“And Yona don’t even know what Yona did to make you think that. From now on, Yona will be your friend even more!” Yona said, as she stood tall and proud, to show Sandbar her support.
Sandbar started to get teary eyed, smiling, and then began to sob. “Y-you guys are the best! It feels good to get that off my chest, I really thought I was messing things up!”
Oh no, oooh no, it isn’t him. He looked so damn pathetic there, and his reasoning was pretty damned sound, same as Cozy. Which meant Cozy was suspicious again, completely. Dammit! Why?! It has to be a coincidence. Someone was supplying the Storm Ravager with apples to eat, they had to be. There was no way the guy was just going to get basket after basket of apples without being noticed. Not unless he was stealing from Cozy without her wondering why she had less apples, but then wouldn't Zecora have had noticed him? And then thereOOF! Suddenly, you find yourself being dragged off by Gallus. “Yona, can you stay with Sandbar for a minute or two? Just gonna talk to Anon about… stuff.”
“Stuff? Gallus, are you alright?” Sandbar asked, as he suddenly noticed that Gallus looked a little angry about something.
“Huh? Yeah, just need to talk to Anon about stuff, it’ll be fine, trust me, be right back.” And before he, you, or Yona could react, Gallus flew up in the air with you in tow.
“Waaaaah! What’s going on?! Gallus?!” You shout towards him as you wiggle in his grip.
“You tell me. What was up with that, Anon? Huh? I thought only griffons used that slick talk to get info or bits out of somecreature, but then there you are doing it for… I don’t know why, but I’m gonna find out.” Gallus went higher up until he was about level with the clouds, grasping you tightly as he looked down on you. “So, what? What are you trying to do, huh?”
“Gallus! Gallus, look!” Shit! You couldn’t just tell him. And yet, why were you even scared? If you were going to drop, it wouldn’t be on purpose, and you still have a charge to save yourself in case he loses his grip. Relax, Anon, you got your info, and all you had to do was calm down the understandably upset griffon. “I just wanted to get to know Sandbar better. Why do you think I’m up to something?”
“Besides the fact you were pushing on him to get him to say something you wanted, or needed to hear, you were also being slick with your little story about how you needed classes at the school. Professor Rarity already seems to think you don’t really need classes, you’re good friends with almost all the professors and counselor Starlight, and Professor Fluttershy thinks you can do no wrong. Then there’s Professor Applejack. She didn’t trust you for a reason, and now I can see why, I can see why Ocellus is just off when she’s around you. I’m a griffon, Anon, I’m used to guys wheeling and dealing others. So, just tell me what you’re really trying to do and there won’t be trouble.” Gallus explains as he hovers in place.
Fuck! How did he… Dammit, you were so used to people usually buying your bullshit that you never thought that Gallus and the others would ever figure you out. But it wasn't like you were the bad guy either! You were just trying to figure things out. “Gallus, I swear, I was just really curious, maybe more than I should have been. If you want the truth, then I’ll tell you. As a hero, I try to pick up on anycreature acting suspicious, and I just thought it was really weird that Sandbar could be so cheerful and full of leadership and yet not have any friends before us. Let me tell you, dude, it isn’t the first time I have seen a villain pull off that kind of deceit. My hero senses were just going off, ok? But I was wrong, I admit it, and I’m sorry. But it’s hard, you know? I have to stay vigilant. But you’re right, I overstepped, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Geez, are you serious? I mean, I guess that makes sense. But Sandbar, really? I’ve been around him a lot, he’s pretty cool, just kinda soft. Maybe It’s me, but I never felt that he could have been a villain or whatever. Look, that isn’t the point. The point is, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, considering how Professor Rainbow Dash is, but she’s also right that we gotta stay loyal to each other. And trust each other, you know, like how friends should. Nocreature at the school is a bad guy, Anon, I don’t even know what gave you that idea. Heck, I’m a griffon. You never suspected me, like, at all?” Gallus said, a little dumbfounded now that he realized he never came off as suspicious.
“Erm, no, not really. You never really gave me that vibe.” You tell him. Really, he just seemed like a more laid back griffon. Who, despite everything, had a better reason to be at the school than Sandbar.
“Weeeeird. Ok, look, I’m just going to trust you, like I said we should. We’re gonna land, and uh, if he asks, just say we were discussing your hero stuff.” Gallus said as he slowly began to descend. “And don’t even say it, I know it isn’t honest. But I think a little white lie isn’t going to hurt anycreature.”
“Got it, I’ll just make it seem you were asking for tips.” You tell him. Wew, you managed to get out of that one without being ripped apart by those talons or wasting a charge. Yeesh…
“Yeah, whatever.” Gallus said, rolling his eyes. He was starting to pick up now on your more narcissistic tendencies. And as he slowly began to lower himself down with you, you noticed he was still giving you a distrustful glare.
“You don’t actually trust me, do you?” You ask, knowing that look all too well.
“Not really, but I’m going to have to.” Gallus sighs as he stops himself mid-flight. “Look, if your explanation wasn’t so spotty, maybe I would have. Seriously, you always sorta seemed kinda shifty and I didn’t say anything about it before because I didn’t know you all too well. And even though I still don’t, I know you have to be fibbing on me on something, I just don’t know what it is yet. Whatever it is, it’s not as important as making sure Sandbar is ok.” Gallus stopped as his eyes widened in a realization “Woah, can’t believe that came out of my beak. But ok.”
You just sort of hung there in his grasp, silent. Your cute demeanor didn’t work this time, and he can see through your lies, only willing to look past them to make sure Sandbar is alright. You could feel guilt creeping up on you. If Gallus didn’t trust you, and Ocellus had a problem with how you were going about things with Chrysalis, then how long could you keep a bond with your new friends before everything went to shit and...
Chrysalis…
Wait… What if she…
Could it be that she threw you off on purpose? She knew how you could get. Getting you obsessed and knowing you’d find the remains of the Storm Ravager would keep you off her trail, for sure. She doesn’t need to partner with the Storm Ravager, and at this point, she doesn’t need to use him as a lackey. All she needed was to make sure you didn’t suspect her and was preoccupied with someone else so she herself could sneak out at one point and try to get at Twilight. Though, this is also assuming she was arrogant enough to think she could get through all the defenses and precautions set against her. ARGH! What if you were wrong about that too?! One of these had to be the right answer, but which? What if none of them were, and a new threat was truly looming?
Ugh, but priorities needed to be set, and right now you had to deal with the lying situation. So far, everyone has been able to keep your secret for the most part. Cept for Starlight, who just had to tell Trixie. But how could you tell Gallus? You barely knew him. Then again, you barely knew Smolder and she pretty much knows most of your secret. “Ok, Gallus, look. I’m gonna be honest with you, like, truly honest this time. But what I’m about to tell you is super secret. Only my marefriend, the counselor, the professors, Princess Twilight, the crusaders, Cozy, Smolder, and Ocellus, and a few of my other friends know what I’m about to tell you is actually a thing.”
“Doesn’t sound like a super secret if everycreature pretty much already knows. Look, I already said I’m going to try to trust you, you don’t need to come up with some dumb reason to-” But you cut him off. Goddamn it, just get it out, Anon.
“It’s not dumb! Look, Ocellus is weird around me because she lived with me for a long time. Not only that, but she doesn’t like the fact I’m pretty much best friends with her former queen, ChrysaliANSAHEY! GEEZ!” Suddenly, Gallus lets you go, caught in surprise. He quickly dives down to catch you as he tries to regain his balance. “Gallus! GALLUS! Hey! What in the heck was that about?!”
“What do you mean?! You just admitted to being best friends with- Wait, she is one of the greatest evils in Equestria, right? She’s one of the big bads?” Gallus asked, not entirely sure where Chrysalis ranked as a villain. But knew she was still a big evil.
“Yes… Yes, she’s one of the biggest of bads. Look, I’ve been trying to reform her to be good. Princess Twilight is currently helping me with this in one big plan to make her see that friendship is magic.” You explain to him.
“Woah, that’s heavy. No wonder you’ve been shifty this whole time, that’s crazy. I can’t imagine how anycreature else would react if they knew. Wow, considering Silverstream sees you as this super big hero, I don’t think she’d be ok with you being friends with a villain, even if you were trying to reform her.” Gallus says.
“Yeah, so, I don’t need everycreature else knowing about it. You know what I mean?” You ask.
“I get it. It’s kinda deceptive though, you know? Considering half of the group knows and the other doesn’t. Were you going to let us all in on it eventually or… What, what’s up with that?” Gallus, somewhat skeptical of your motives, wanted to know how far your own trust went.
“I like to think of it as a ‘need to know’ basis sort of thing. Eventually, evercreature will know anyway once Chrysalis reforms. So, please, can you keep this to yourself, please?” You ask him. “I need you to trust me.”
“Fine, fine, you have my trust. That’s a pretty big bomb to drop, so I get it. But, Anon, what does this have to do with the way you’re acting towards Sandbar? I don’t get that.” Gallus asked. Shit, you still needed a reason for that.
“Well, er, Chrysalis is still evil, and she still has a thing against the princesses. I dunno, I guess I got paranoid and thought maybe she had somecreature on the inside helping her with her evil plans.” Gee, Anon, what a great lie that is. At least there was some truth to it… Sorta…
“And you thought Sandbar was working with her? Really? I’m just going to take a guess you don’t really do your own detective work, do you?” Gallus was in stoic disbelief. But he seemed to believe you. “I guess that’s what Ocellus meant by you being a bit thick headed.”
D-Dammit! She said that?! Whatever, just go with it. “Yeah, and I guess I overstepped myself, huh?” You say with a false and sheepish chuckle. “Sorry, I guess it was dumb of me to suspect him of anything, huh?”
“Yeah, but whatever, I dunno how it is to be a hero and I guess Sandbar is alright. Hmmm…” Gallus just hovered for a moment, thinking. “Look, I got a good idea to cheer him up. If your magic isn’t going to do anything creepy that is.”
Wut? “My magic? What about it?”
“It’s chaos magic, right? So it can do anything, I think. Look, this isn’t me being soft or anything, I just think Sandbar needs a bit of motivation boost. So, can you like, make fireworks or something? Something that can show up even though the sun is still out? I dunno, something like, a message that said Sandbar is awesome?” Gallus, as he spoke, began to notice how ‘dumb’ it all sounded. “Man, that sounds like geek stuff. But, look, can you do it?”
“I got a charge left for the day, so… Yeah, no problem.” Anything to get Gallus’s trust and make sure Sandbar apparently doesn’t have a meltdown, even though he already looked ok. You use your hooves to grab your horn and place it on your head, you then aim it ahead of you. “This is gonna be simple. Day or night, chaos fireworks can be seen no matter what. So, I’ll just have them say Sandbar is awesome, have his face up there too, and…. BAM!” You let out several shotgun like shots of green lights forward. They all position around you and Gallus as they begin to glow brilliantly. “There we go.”
“Cool… Are they supposed to be so close though?” Gallus asked as he peered close towards the cluster of lights.
“Yeah, because we’re in the sky and… Oh no.” Oh, Anon, why didn’t you think this one through?
Almost immediately, the orbs of magic began to burst around you and Gallus. Gallus backed up, flew forward, barrel rolled, and did his best to outmaneuver the blasts of fireworks. “Well, this isn’t good…” Gallus says with a gulp as he got caught in a huge barrage of explosions. Everything went white as he dove down, unsure of where he even was until he opened his eyes. He was ok! He was ok and already near the ground. Gallus, using his skills as a griffon, does a slow loop de loop to slow his descent as he lands in front of Yona and Sandbar, who were busy looking up at the fireworks.
“Wooooooah, where did that come from?” Sandbar said, noticing the fireworks exploding into uplifting messages about himself, as others exploded into endearing images of his face.
“So pretty, Yona didn’t know fireworks can be seen so good during daytime.” Yona said, stunned by the display.
That’s when Sandbar noticed Gallus. He began to get teary eyed, as he slowly began to realize the only rational explanation to the fireworks. “Gallus, did you and Anon do this for me? Really? Y-you didn’t have to do that. Y-you guys are amazing, I… Thanks.”
“Eh, you know. He had the magic, I had the idea. It worked out. We mean it by the way, you’re pretty awesome for a pony. And a great friend, I guess. Heh. Erm, and your welcome.” Gallus said, looking away, a tad embarrassed from the praise.
“It true, though. Gallus and Anon do great job on showing how amazing Sandbar is. But, wait, where is Anon?” Yona asked as she began to look around.
Gallus looked at his talons, then around himself, then came to a grim realization. “I… Oh…”
“Oh, wait! There he is!” Sandbar said as he waved towards you. “Hey Anon! Are you doingWOAH!” Sandbar, Gallus, and even Yona dove away from you as you meteor dived into the carts of pies, or, whatever pies were left. You destroyed the carts, the pies, and laid in puddle of apple goop.
“A-Anon… Are you ok? Is, er, 'sorry' gonna work? Y-you didn’t break any bones, did you?” Gallus asked, sounding uncharacteristically super nervous as he looked down on the tiny crater you created.
You don’t know if it was the pies, your head, or the combination of both. But somehow, your body survived the crash with minimum injury. However, everything tasted like apple for some reason. “I-I think I’m fine… Is Sandbar ok?”
“Y-yeah, I’m feeling pretty good… Was that crash not planned or something? Are you ok?” Sandbar asked, getting increasingly worried about you.
“I-I’m fine… I’m just going to lay here awhile… Ughhhhhh…” And despite that, you still felt enough pain to barely move as you gurgled the apple filling of the pies.
With the day mostly over, and the pies now gone. Sandbar and the others help you out of the wreckage and begin to take you back to the school to take care of you and make sure you’re ok. Gallus, having been the one to drop you, opts to stay behind to clean up the mess. As Sandbar and Yona head back to the school, you could feel your senses mostly returning to you as you realized you were on something hairy and thick. Were you riding Yona? “Ugh, what’s going on?”
“You spaced out there, Anon.” Sandbar said as he traveled alongside Yona. “Were you trying to do another super awesome dive? Because, er, not to insult you or anything, but you sort of missed.”
“Oh, er. Ngh…” Ugh, your body aches like hell. Fuck, why did you fucking do that? “Yeah… Er, I sorta did. I just didn’t expect to destroy the carts. Er, sorry guys.”
“I-it’s ok, as long as you’re alright. I’m more impressed than anything, I didn’t know you and Gallus were going to do something like that. I, er, really, thanks. I really thought I was doing something wrong, but then you and Gallus just pull off that and I just… I just feel like I really am worthy of everycreature’s friendship.” Sandbar said, still enamored by what happened before.
“Yona already tell Sandbar, Sandbar is amazing friend! Yona figured Gallus and Anon were going to do something like that, why else would Anon ask weird questions?” Yona said, sure of herself despite not knowing what the hell she was talking about. At least to you.
“Y-yeah, that’s it. Hey, as long as you feel better about yourself, Sandbar, that’s all that matters. Which is good, because I want my friends to see what a great guy you are.” You said, referring to the CMC.
“I hope so. From everything Ocellus said, Scootaloo sounds cool, so I’m sure the others are toosdFDFAHHH!” Sandbar said with a sudden shriek.
“Gyah! Snake monster thing!” Yona yells out as she comes to a sudden halt, launching you off her back and face down to the ground.
“Snake monster thing? Excuse me, miss, but I think you have me mistaken for somecreature else. I am Discord, spirit of chaos, father to him.” Discord said as he pointed directly down to you, looking to Yona with a scowl. “I don’t even have scales like a snake. And no, my one foot doesn’t count.”
“D-Discord? Wait, woah, you’re Anon’s dad? Cool! I’ve been really wanting to meet you!” Sandbar said as his fright suddenly turned to wonder.
“Oh? You’ve been wanting to meet me?” Discord suddenly brushes his paw back on his head, smoothing out horns as if they were hair, as he steps forward, stepping on you in the process as you let out a pained groan. “Well, that is something I never hear. I was here over some urgent business, but a little procrastination never hurt anycreature, hm?”
Yona tilted her head. Having seen Discord for the first time, she began to notice every part of him was mismatched, and it was confusing to her. “Yona don’t understand. Why do you have talons and paws? and two different horns? Yona is confused.”
“Good! As the spirit of chaos, confusion is a form of compliment when it comes to me. I’m a draconequus, my dear, we’re meant to be confusing. Now then, you.” Discord makes a seat appear from under himself as he sits, beaming a smile as he awaits whatever Sandbar has to say. “Talk to me, tell me what about me interests you so.”
“Well, Discord, er, sir, I’d have to say everything. Everycreature in Ponyville seems to have some problem with you, but Professor Fluttershy and Anon say you’re pretty great. I was just kind of wondering how you manage to be such a good dad and friend despite being the spirit of chaos. Like, nocreature seems to understand you, but you’re super close friends with Princess Twilight and the professors, right? That must mean despite everything, you have a super deep understanding of how friendship works. That to me, means you’re probably one of the best guys out there, and I gotta know your secret!” Sandbar said, utterly excited to hear whatever Discord had to say.
“Well well. Yes, I have to admit, my reputation is worthy of such praise. Seldom does anypony understand it, it can be quite harrowing knowing everyday that somepony just won’t understand your work, your ways, anything really. But Anon, and especially Fluttershy, and the rest of my friends truly understand me, and know that I will always do my best for them no matter the situation. The same goes for Princess Twilight as well. She’s always kidding around about me, making false negative statements about me as a joke, but understanding how truly astounding I am deep inside. As for my secret, well… Hm?” Discord looks back when he feels a tugging at the back of his rear. He looks down to see you, bruised, stepped on, and highly angry, growling towards him as he looks at you with false wonderment. “Anon? Well now, you look absolutely dreadful, what has your aunt told you about getting enough sleep?”
Your eye twitched as you glared even harder at him, silent in your anger. “You stepped on me, you assDFGF” Suddenly, your mouth gets zipped up as Discord looks back at your friends with a sheepish chuckle.
“Is Anon ok? Yona notices he doesn’t seem very happy to see you.” WHAT?! HAD THEY NOT NOTICED THAT HE STEPPED ON YOU?!
“Oh, he’s fine. He just gets anxious whenever important business is involved. I suppose I should speed this up, as I need to borrow my son. Hm, You wanted to know my secret, right? My secret, my secret… Hmmm.” Discord said as he began to tap at his chin. “Well, it may not work for all, but my secret is simply always being a pleasant surprise to everycreature I see.”
“Hm, that actually makes a lot of sense. It’s kinda like the thing my friend Gallus and Anon did for me just awhile ago, a pleasent surprise, well, I mean a super awesome one. Wow, I guess I know where Anon got that from then. But… Wait, why does everypony else seem to not like you so much then?” Sandbar asked, confused on that particular aspect.
“I’d like to think they simply don’t understand me. Either way, you learn to live with it. As long as you have your friends, and can still have fun, you really don’t need anything else in life. That’s what I say, anyway.” Discord says as he suddenly grabs onto you and hugs you rather gently as he pets your head. “Anon and I are proof of it, a couple of guys who have chaotic adventures. A true blue duo whose friendship will never be snuffed out. Right, Anon?”
“I wfant tgoo killfff youfhhhhh” You muffled out as you tried to rip your mouth open from the metal zip-bindings.
“See? What did I tell you?” Discord said with a smirk as he presented you, holding you forward like a cat. “As my son, there is nopony truly better than Anon.”
“Yona can see that. Yona can also see Anon red from embarrassment. It cute, but Anon shouldn’t worry. In Yakyakistan, yaks have no shame when they hug, smash, or headbutt each other. It healthy and makes yak feel proud. So Anon should feel proud too.” Yona explains, hoping you’d understand.
But you weren’t angry from embarrassment, you just wanted to strangle Discord for stepping on you and ignoring your pain to just narcissistically eat up the praise Sandbar was giving him. And this was after his little gag with the bowling ball too. Goddammit, he's overdoing it this time!
“She’s right, Anon. Oh so right, you can learn a lot from your new Yak friend.” Discord said with a chuckle, as he began petting you again.
“Yona agree. Anon would always be smarter if he listen to Yona more.” Yona said, standing proud and self satisfied.
“Oh, I certainly agree on that, don’t you, Anon?” Discord said as he looked to you, cradling you like a baby.
Why was he doing this?! Why was he even here?! Holy shit, you want to fucking murder him! He just fucking stepped on you like you were a used piece of gum, just to be praised by two animals he never fucking met in his life. What was this fucking urgent thing he even wanted?! Why didn’t he just call you on the codec?! “ASDFDSFSDGFSDGSDFGD”
“Ah, I think he’s wanting to get to that urgent business I mentioned, it’s troubling him greatly.” Discord said as he opens a portal and just tosses you through it nonchalantly. “Which means I must be going as well.”
“O-oh. Well, it was awesome to meet you, Discord. Er, or, should I call you Mr. Discord?” Sandbar asked, only wanting to show Discord the utmost respect.
“Oh no no, much too formal. Just call me Discord.” Discord said as he waved goodbye towards Yona and Sandbar.
“Ok! Got it! Seeya, Discord. And you too, Anon, wherever you went!” Sandbar said with a wave.
“Wait! Yona curious, what business does Anon have? Hero business?” Yona asked, not wanting Discord to go without having her curiosity slaked.
“Yes, that. Goodbye now!” Discord said as he walked through the portal and closed it behind him. It seems he had already either grown bored of the conversation or he just really wanted to see you handle whatever the fuck he grabbed you for.
“GYAH!” You yelled out as you fell face first, once again, onto Discord’s living room. Holy crap, why?! WHY?! “DISCORD! I SWEAR! WHAT STUPID REASON DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME, HUH?!”
“Ahrm…” someone cleared their throat, someone familiar. You looked over to see the Dracula pone himself, sipping some tea as he pushed away an ice cube that was floating towards him. “Ugh, this place…”
WUT?! WHY WAS NEIGHSAY HERE?! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
There he was, just calmly sitting at the table. Why was he here?! Seriously?! Oh god, did he notice Jimmy?! Goddammit, how did he even get here?! “C-Chancellor Neighsay?! Ahrm, erm, hello! Er, what are you doing here?”
“Ah, Anon, I see your father finally found you. Hm? Oh, I can assure you I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for the rumors I have been hearing. Come, sit down, I’d rather get our business done as soon as possible.” The Chancellor said as he pointed towards a seat, keeping his eyes open for any oddity that got too close to him. It was already obvious he did not want to be here.
“Er, ok.” Rumors?! Oh god, what has he heard?! “W-what’s up? I mean, did any new information come up that I’m totally not aware of?”
“I’m afraid so, and it makes me wonder if you somehow missed something.” Neighsay says as he carefully pours himself some tea, swatting away a cup of sugar that tried to tip over into his cup. “Ugh! Is nothing here normal?! They could at least show a little respect.” He said, as he began to also swat away a spoon hovering towards his direction.
“Um, sir. I hope I’m not being rude or out of place, but what I meant by my question was that it’s a surprise that you’re here. It doesn’t seem like your style.” Ok, at this point, it was obvious Jimmy hadn't revealed himself to Neighsay. But then, what are these rumors? And how bad do they have to be to get a personal visit from this guy?
“No, it wouldn’t be my ‘style’, but these rumors are not to be ignored, and may be exactly what I was looking for. That alone is enough for me to suffer this place if it means finally making progress on our investigation.” Neighsay says as he takes a sip of his tea, his voice quivering with subtle excitement.
“You keep mentioning rumors. What rumors are you talking about?” You were getting a little scared. These had to be big rumors for this guy to just show up all of a sudden.
“You haven’t noticed? The other princesses' guards have taken up residence in Ponyville. And although they are not garbed in their usual attire, I highly doubt they are there on vacation. Although the information I’ve gathered isn’t concrete, I believe they are there to protect Princess Twilight from… Something. Perhaps the school or residents as well, I’m not exactly sure what their purpose is. You truly haven’t noticed them, Anon? I’m sure you’ve been around the other princesses long enough to recognize their guards.” Neighsay says, narrowing his look towards you slightly, as if suspicious of something.
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! “Oh, uh, yeah, in that sense, I noticed something. But you kinda have me focused on the five nonpony students, so I haven’t really broken my focus from them.”
“Yes, I suppose whatever they might be doing might be enough to take away most of your attention. And yet, you still see them as innocent?” Neighsay says. No malice in his tone, more just disappointment.
“Yeah, so far so good. As far as I can tell, and trust me, I have ways of telling, I’m no fool. But these rumors, the guards and all that, it could be Princess Celestia being paranoid or something. I dunno, we’re about due for a major badguy showing up, don’t you think?” You ask, trying to keep your cool as you ask for some tea.
Neighsay uses his magic to pour you a cup and slides it over as he leans back on his chair, contemplating. “Hm, that could be why she refuses to tell me anything about it. But what do you mean ‘about due’? Is that a joke? You say that as if it's inevitable.”
“Huh? OH, nah, nah. I mean, it just seems some bad guy always shows up eventually. Almost seasonally. From Nightmare Moon to the Pony of Shadows, it's sort of hard to deny there’s, er, an unintended pattern of sorts, probably even before our time, given the Pillars of Old.” Dammit, Anon, don’t go tropey with this guy, you can’t afford a mistake.
“Hm, as ghastly of a thought that may be, there is some truth to it. It is hard to deny that these villains tend to show up rather predictably, if one were to tie a pattern to it. Yes, I suppose in a chaotic way of thinking, that actually makes sense. I see now how you’re able to anticipate things the way you do, and was able to topple the Storm King where even the Princesses and their friends couldn’t. That being said, I think I’ve figured out your next assignment for me. I believe this can finally prove if my suspicions are correct or not.” Neighsay says as his tone began to become more serious, as he leaned closer to you, as if to tell you a secret.
“Prove your suspicions, sir? Er, what does that mean, what is the assignment?” Oh god, what did he want from you now?
“As I remember it, the school counselor, Starlight Glimmer, was once a villain herself. These things go hoof and hoof, you see. And if any of these ‘special’ students have had any villainous tendencies, then I’d like to believe they may have left hints, or outright shared such malicious thoughts with her at some point. I believe the guards might be patrolling Ponyville simply to be ready to cover up Princess Twilight’s mistake. To make it clear, if one of those students decide to unleash their plans, then the guards would be there to stop them before they can execute them. Such a quick play would allow Princess Twilight to cover things up as to not arouse my suspicion. If that didn’t make your assignment clear, then I’ll explain it more simply. I want you to look through Starlight’s records, and bring me the files on those students. It should be easy for you, given your friendship with her.” Neighsay explains to you as he zaps an incoming flower pot. “Away with you! How could you eat here, Anon? This place is literally trying to end somepony, I swear!”
What?! He wanted you to do fucking what now?! He can’t be serious. How were you supposed to get the files to him without Starlight noticing?! Even then, you’re not willing to destroy your friendship with her over this. “Er, Chancellor, wouldn’t she notice if I took them?”
“Your magic can produce copies of those records, can’t it? I can understand why you wouldn’t want her to know you took them, given your friendship with her. But, Anon, this is important, there may be things in those records that can finally show the truth! And you care about the truth, don’t you?” Neighsay asked, as he genuinely awaited your answer, calmly, intrigued.
...The truth. Christ, you knew what the truth was, the only thing was trying to get this guy to realize the students were no threat while not revealing your friendship with Chrysalis. “I do, and I understand where you’re coming from. But, sir, what if the records reveal nothing?”
Neighsay went silent, he tapped his hoof on the table, then took another sip of his tea before relaxing. “I will permanently end my investigation, once and for all, and without any future meddling. If my guess is wrong, then at this point, I can be accused of extreme prejudice. I can’t deny that, if I turn out to be wrong, which means it'd be better to stop and not seek out any future actions against them after this. Although, if I am wrong, then your theory might hold water as well. In that case, I will meet with Princess Twilight myself and give her every resource the EEA can give her. Equestria is important to me, Anon, as is everypony in it. If there is a threat to be prepared for, and we can help, then I’ll even stay in the school myself, ready to fight off whatever villain threatens our peace.”
You gulp, you were afraid of that. Win or lose, Neighsay was now more than a few thorns on your side. How the fuck were you going to deal with this one? Surely Twilight would be able to persuade him not to stay at the school or provide defense, since you already knew your friends’ records would be clean. You also can’t arouse his suspicions either, as Chrysalis hanged in the balance. So, for now, you salute. Ugh, if Twilight found out you were spying for Neighsay. Oy, what a mess. “I admire that, sir. You know if it really comes down to that, that I’m with you all the way.”
“Very good, I knew I could count on you. I see such big things in your future, Anon. You truly care about Equestria, and you know your duty is to the ponies who depend on ones like you and I to keep the harmony and balance our world thrives on. Now, before I go, is there anything you’d like to say? Anything interesting that might warrant my interest?” Neighsay asks as he warps his tea set away.
“Er, no, sir. I’ll have the records ready for you soon, so watch out for that.” Dammit, you need to talk to Starlight! Even if she gets angry, she needs to know.
“That’s what I like about you, Anon. Even if you have developed some friendship with these outsiders, you know where your priorities lie. Very well, with nothing else, I’ll be making my leave. Tell your father, wherever he is, that he should make things more orderly, for your sake.” Neighsay tells you with a nod, as he stands and opens a portal back to his office.
“Er, I will, sir.” You said with a bow. “You have a good day, sir.”
“You as well, Anon, and good luck.” Neighsay says as he steps out, with no doubt in his mind that you could do the job he asked of you.
And as soon as he left…
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You screamed out in a panic as you began to look around. “Discord! Discord, you asshole, why did you even let him in here?! Holy fuck! Dammit, you did this on purpose, didn’t you!?” Dammit, his fucking assholery has gone too far this time, he was playing with a fire that threatened to burn down everything you worked for!
“What?!” Discord cried out… From somewhere…
“What do you mean ‘What’? Where are you?!” You yelled out as you looked around the living room.
Suddenly, a yellow eye with a red pupil and black bat wings began to flap in front of you as it stared at you angrily. “I’m right here, keeping an eye on things as I enjoy our show within a show. How can you blame me for this, Anon?! He just came in from out of nowhere and demanded your presence.”
“And you just bent to his will?! What happened to you being the master of chaos?! Isn’t this your damn house?! You should have kicked him out!” You bellowed out at the eye before pointing at it. “The one time you should have been a douchebag, and you just let him in here. Dammit, Discord, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Don’t you dare make such presumptions with me, sonny colt. I was as surprised as you when he arrived. I would have turned him away if it wasn’t for the fact that… That…” Discord’s eyeball suddenly seized up.
“‘That’ what?! What the fuck are you talking about?!” You shouted at him.
“That… Ugh, that Twilight is also my friend. Hard for me to admit, but when it comes to her school, Twilight being utterly miserable because it’s gone wouldn’t really do well for me. Not only for your’s and Fluttershy’s sake, but also the fact that a mopy Twilight is simply no fun. " Discord said as his eyeball began to slowly fall to the ground. Once it landed, it only looked upwards, as if staring into a void. “How are we going to fix this, Anon? The only way I can see it is to simply have the problem dealt with. You know what I mean.”
“We’re not doing that. Christ, Discord! Isn’t that a little dark, even for you?” The hell was she suggesting that for?! He knew what he was suggesting, he just wanted to get rid of Chrysalis.
“Just a suggestion, not like it’d be hard for her to attack somepony else. But fine, fine… Any suggestions then that won’t end up blowing up in all our faces?” Discord asked.
“First, we need to talk to Starlight about getting those records. I’m one hundred percent sure they're clean. Then, maybe, she could help us come up with a plan.” You said as you began to pace, pondering.
“Or she’ll panic, overthink it, and end up telling Twilight. Who will then panic, overthink it, and either, as I’ve learned, find a way to make it work out or make it crash and burn into oblivion. Usually that last part is funny, but as I said, not in this case.” Discord’s eye said as it began to mindlessly roll on the ground.
“Ugh, you’re right about that. Hey! What if I talk to Chrysalis to hang back for a bit, and we fake a big attack for Neighsay to read about in his paper? Think that’d work?” Ohhh, that’s a good one.
“Wouldn’t work, as the guards would still be around. And before you suggest I poof them away, I can’t. Well, I can, but then the princesses would be upset at you. And I don’t trust Princess Celestia to handle that all too well, considering what she’s capable of.” Discord said, his eye hovering back up and onto the table, making a small tea cup appear so he could take a dip inside.
“Dammit, then what the hell can we do?! Chrysalis would have to make her attack before he shows up at the school, and she’s taking her sweet ass time with her planning. I don’t even know what her plan is yet! She hasn’t told me what she’s thinking, and given she says there’s a time limit, I don’t even know if she’s close to dying from not acting or not yet! Fuck! We have to have an option!” You said, as you paced left and right.
“You do have one, you morons.” Said a voice as the basement trap door began to creak open. Dammit, it was Jimmy, in changeling form, just stepping out with such bravado as he looked at the both of you as if you were jokes.
“No one asked you, ‘Jimmy’. What, have you been eavesdropping? Because you can take your ass back down that trapdoor before I send you down myself! I don’t need your shit right now.” Fucking dammit, you didn’t need this.
“Big words coming from you, small fry. Look at the both of you, pathetic!” Jimmy said with a dark boisterous laugh as he jumped on the table and kicked the tea cup Discord’s eye was in off of it. He then stepped towards you and looked down on you from the table, as if he was in charge. “And you especially. The big human who knows everything about Equestria and knows all the tropes, has now fallen into the easiest to solve trope himself.”
Discord’s eye began to hover upwards as he looked towards Jimmy angrily. “You know, you can do those sorts of things to Anon. But tossing me on the ground like that? You must be asking for something worse than being the giant meatball you used to be.”
“Puh, shut up. You’re as pathetic as he is. All that raw power, that pure magical malevolence, and you waste it on parlor tricks. Listen up you two, I have the solution you’re looking for. But if you want it, I expect a little more respect, do you understand?” Jimmy said, as he stood proud and triumphant. “There was a reason I was the changeling captain. I was, and still am, a genius. And with what I know now, I am beyond even Starswirl the Bearded.”
Cripes, where the fuck did this bravado come from all of a sudden? “Holy fuck, You really think you’re hot shit, don’t you? You think you understand this world better than me? Fine then, what is this big plan of yours that deserves you so much of our respect?”
“Anon, are you seriously going to entertain this joke of a changeling?” Discord asked, unimpressed with Jimmy's zealousness.
“Tch, only because whatever he has is probably good for a laugh. So what is it, ‘Jimmy’?” You ask him in a mocking manner.
“Glad you asked. For this example, I’ll use the episode, ‘The Last Roundup’. You remember that, right, Anon? Do you remember what Applejack’s constant lying caused? To go so far as to break a Pinkie Promise? In fact, whenever lying is involved, keeping up with said lie always seems to make things worse, doesn’t it? Oh yes, I believe one of the reasons Celestia went over your head was simply because you couldn’t be trusted. Our poor Queen, all alone and looney in the head because you simply couldn’t keep up with your own lies.” Jimmy said with a cackle.
“Nevermind! Fucking roast his ass, Discord!” Fuck him! Where does he get off!?
“Wait! Wait! Ahrm” Jimmy said, stepping back as he flinched. “You failed to see my point!”
“Hm? Then you better get to that point, before I show you some of mine.” Discord said darkly, as a bunch of needles began to float around his eye. “And it better be good, as I’ve been needing a new pincushion for quite some time.”
Jimmy clears his throat, and only slightly cuts back on the mocking bravado he was showing before. “The lying, idiots, the lying! For once, you have to stop lying and tell the truth. And I’m not saying to tell the princesses that, but to the Chancellor himself. That’s the only way to prevent this from blowing up in your face.”
“What?! You really are insane, how the fuck is that a good idea?!” That’s it, it was clear he just wanted to see you fail. Because that was just a fucking terrible suggestion.
“How the ‘fuck’ is it not? Here, let me explain it in a way you can understand.” Jimmy jumps off the table, and begins to slowly walk away from you as he transformed into Jimmy the Gent, accent and all. “Tropes, you live by them, and you die by them. Let me tell you, kid, you gotta learn to play the game before the game plays you. But what do you know about that? You’ve become more pony than man, lost your edge. You think you’re some wise guy who knows how to game the system, but you’re just some poor schmuck who let the system game them. With every episode, you’ve seen the problem play out to the solution, everytime. And yet, here you are, playing to the problem without seeing the same solution you claim to always see. Let me ask you, seriously, let me ask you, did you ever think, for even a single second, that maybe doing the right thing might fix your problem? Like, geez, kid, five and a half seasons of the same slop and you’re still as blind as a bat. Being stuck with you is doing a serious job on my mental health, I hope you know that.” Jimmy said, walking, talking, and gesturing like Jimmy would before changing back to his old changeling self, looking at you, staring into your very soul. Wondering if you understood.
“What in the fuck are you…” And then, it hit you. Your eyes went wide. Could it be?
“There it is, that realization. You see it now, don’t you?” Jimmy asked, cocky as hell about it. “See what I mean? This is why I deserve respect.”
You fell into it, didn’t you? The trappings of a trope. Something, given your chaotic unpredictability, that could have led to worse things. He wanted you to tell Neighsay the truth about Chrysalis and you. At first, it made no sense, as all it would presumably do is ruin everything you had with him, which would lead to trouble with your friends at school, not to mention trouble with Twilight, as she’d now know you were the spy. And then poor Starlight, given she’s in on it, it would lead to her being in trouble too.
But then, there was Jimmy’s words. He was suggesting that telling the truth would be the solution. In other words, that telling Neighsay would lead to an alternative outcome, one of understanding. It’s hard to see, how could he understand it when he has so much prejudice in his heart? Thinking deeper about it, you’d still need the records to exonerate your friends, and that would be no problem if you spoke to Starlight calmly and logically. The issue is putting yourself in the spotlight, basically telling him that you, all along, have been and still are friends with one of the most evil beings in Equestria.
You looked at the shackles on your legs. The curse, the need to reform Chrysalis, the final game. It was your mission, a mission known about by even the highest authorities in Equestria. Would Neighsay understand that? Would he understand your mission to reform Chrysalis, perhaps making her a powerful ally? You’d have some leeway, as even the hive pretty much hate her, their own mother, guts. You’d have to stand your ground.
Oh god, but you couldn’t do it alone either. You’d need one other person by your side, one person Neighsay would have to take seriously.
Princess Celestia…
“Oh god… He’s right, Discord. Holy crap, ngh.” It almost made you want to hurl. It was frightening. And to think, it came from this guy? Shit…
“What?! Excuse the vernacular, Anon, but do you have a few screws loose on that steel head of yours? What he said doesn’t even make any kind of sense, how is telling the truth now supposed to fix anything?” Discord asked, baffled you’d even entertain such a thought.
“Because, if we lie, and he finds out, it's basically the end. We’d be dragging not just Twilight, but everypony’s validity in the mud by lying about Chrysalis in any way. We actually have to tell Neighsay the truth before he finds out himself.” You say, still bewildered, your voice trailing off.
“Oh good, and then he can label you a traitor, sounds good to me.” Discord said in an angry mocking tone. “Oh, perhaps he’ll label me one as well. We’ll both be on the run, riding on trains and eating what hobos eat, doesn’t that sound fun? Well, actually, we’d be hiding here the whole time, but you know what I mean.”
“It’s why I can’t do it alone. I need to get the records from Starlight, and then…” Here it comes. “I need to ask Princess Celestia to come with me to talk to Neighsay, about the truth. Alone, he probably would label me a traitor. But with her at my side, things would probably go my way.”
Discord’s eyeball flew directly in front of you, staring at you as if you were crazy. “You can’t be serious. Princess Celestia, really? Since when were you willing to crawl to her like a worm, begging for her help? What good will that do you?” Discord was serious, he was so willing to try to circumvent a tragedy by lying than to tell the truth. Moreso, he was trying to protect you from being devastated once again.
“Discord, he’s right. We’re falling into a trope, I’m falling into one, where lying always makes things worse. There is no way we can come out on top if we lie. Hell, telling Neighsay the truth without a plan would be just as bad. It’s why I need Celestia, she has a way of smoothing things out in a way I never could. If this was an episode, Discord, that is how the episode would end. Given how much me being here has changed the possible state of Equestria’s natural course of fate thus far, I have a feeling my episode wouldn't wrap up so nicely if I didn’t do this. I’m going to have to bite the bullet, and ask Celestia for help.” You really had no choice.
“There has to be another way! You’re just deciding this because of what he said!” The eyeball said as it frantically flew about. “You can’t just drop everything and decide that's the best course of action when we still have a million other plans to try!”
“A million other plans, all the same lie. Hell, what are we supposed to do that doesn’t end in him finding out? I’m willing to hear you out, Discord, so what do you got?” You ask. Hoping, and yet knowing, he probably has nothing.
“Easy! We leave the EEA a letter from the Chancellor saying he’s going on vacation, and then we lock him in another dimension for a while while making sure he never realizes it was us who locked him in there. We can blame it on Sombra or something! That way you still get what you want and Neighsay is none the wiser, and most importantly, you don’t have to beg like a puppy dog to Princess Celestia.”
“Huh… That could work.” Never mind, Discord might have a good plan there.
“Oh, good plan! But let me ask you this, what do you think will happen when he gets word of the queen walking among ponies? You know, out of nowhere? How do you think that will go? Since he’ll definitely know Anon was involved.” Jimmy asked, giving you both a powerful stare, knowing in his weasely little heart that you both were wrong.
Both you and the eye of Discord flinch at those words.
“Yeah, because unless you have a way of hiding that from him forever. You know, a suddenly converted evil queen, then be my guest. Otherwise, you know I’m right, which means I expect all the respect I deserve from now on.” Jimmy said as he nodded to himself, knowing he had the both of you right where he wanted you.
“Hmmm… I suppose it would be hard to hide the fact you’d have had something to do with her redemption. Well, then, how about we just make him go away forever? He isn’t that important, is he?” Discord asked.
“...Not to us, but I can’t imagine that going well with everypony else.” Ugh, as much as you wouldn’t have minded, it still posed an issue.
“I see. Anon, you can’t just give in so easily. I say you give it a day or so. You can’t just rush decisions like these. I’m sure by the end of tomorrow, one of us will have come up with something.” Discord, he really didn’t want you to give in, to beg Celestia for help.
“Oh, so it’s going to be like that then, hm? Fine, I can go yet another day without the respect I deserve.” Jimmy said as he began to meander back through the trapdoor. But the moment he went in, he popped his head back out to say. “But it’ll only be one more day, and then you’ll see who is right.”
“Bah, don’t listen to him.” Discord says as he blinks, causing a door to appear. “Come on, Anon, let’s relax and finish watching Twilight go bonkers, it’ll help you feel better."
You begin to follow the eye through the door. You sigh, because somehow, you felt, you had no other choice, that Jimmy was right. And there was something else too, something that really worried you.
Celestia, she’d no doubt expect something in return. And whatever that was, it was probably worse than anything Discord could ever ask from you whenever it came to one of his deals.
Chapter 172 - Blooming Apples in the Queen's Garden
“Oh n-” Were the last words that escaped Tommy’s breath before the gunshot went through the back of his head. The scene, at least for ponies, was gruesome. Starlight flinched with a squeal, Twilight yelped while covering her eyes with her wings, and Rarity? Well, she was silent, staring, her gaze deeply focused as she continued to stare at the screen.
“Rarity? Woah, you didn’t even blink, you alright?” Starlight asked, baffled by Rarity’s stone cold stare.
“I’m quite alright, actually. In fact, I was awaiting a moment like this. Hard not to, given the nature of the film thus far.” Rarity said as she took a breath, and relaxed her glare as she nodded towards Starlight. “You weren’t aware this was going to happen?”
“I didn’t!” Twilight exclaimed, utterly surprised by Rarity’s nonchalance. “Rarity, how did you know he was going to get, er… You know.” Twilight puts her hoof towards the side of her head and makes a click noise as she moves her head to the side.
“Quite elementary, Twilight. Tommy was an uncouth, well, uncouth isn’t the right word for him. He was a monster, perhaps moreso than any of our former foes. The film constantly showed us that many did not like Tommy for his brazen and animalistic behavior, and that, along with the elimination of one Billy Bats, as I had said before, ensured his end. And not only for Tommy, but this will be the downfall of both Henry and Jimmy as well. Perhaps, the end of the entire crime ring.” Rarity explained.
Starlight’s eyes widened “Rarity, just, wow. I knew nopony liked him except for Henry and Jimmy, but I guess I didn’t think it’d go this far since he’s already gotten away with so much.”
“I… Think I was just still recoiling from how ruthless Jimmy is, eliminating his own crew so easily. Humans, I… I think I’m glad Anon is the only human we have ever had in Equestria.” Twilight said, her voice low, somewhat quivering.
“A young human turned colt. I’d like to think we all had a hand in raising Anon right, and that is why he’s such a charming little gentlecolt.” Rarity commented. But then she turned to see Scrappy, who was low to the ground, whimpering. “Scrappy, whatever is the matter?”
“Tommy was the queen’s favorite. I can still feel her pain, she didn’t see it coming.” Scrappy said with a whine.
“I’m not surprised.” Starlight said half sarcastically. “Though, she didn’t see it coming? I thought somepony as evil as Chrysalis would have known something like that was going to happen.”
Scrappy shook his head. “No, she liked Tommy too much to even think that. I almost thought she was going to have a heart attack! Then I remembered she doesn’t have a heart.”
“Oh, Scrappy, dear, everypony has a heart, even your former queen.” Rarity said “It’s what makes us who we are.”
“Are you sure? She was always ranting that she doesn’t have one, then again, sometimes she said she had a black heart too. Ogh, now I’m confused. Is a black heart a bad thing? It doesn’t sound very healthy.” Scrappy asked rather timidly, not wanting to think his former queen has a heart condition.
“Er, Scrappy, I’m pretty sure she was being metaphorical about that. You know, like how somepony might say ‘I’m on the way to the top!’, even though they mean to the end of their goal, or up some corporate ladder, or something like that.” Starlight explains.
“Hm? Ooooooh, well, I guess that makes more sense. Like in Canterlot, when she said nopony can stop her, and then she was stopped. I think I get it now.” Scrappy said with a smile, stood up, jumped on Twilight’s desk, and began to make a declaration. “Then, when I say I’ll protect Master Applebloom with my life, I want everypony to know I don’t mean it metaphorically! I really mean it!”
And as Rarity clapped, with the others joining in with her, you and Discord watched from afar, in a theater room, watching what was going on through a projector. “Hrn, I was expecting for Twilight to jump out the window on that one.” Discord said in surprise as he chomped down on some popcorn.
“I mean, they’re probably mostly used to Goodfellas by now. Hell, Rarity didn’t even blink. I didn’t know she’d be that into it. Kinda makes me wish Chrysalis had watched Goodfellas with her, I think they would have… AGH!” Fuck, you forgot about Chrysalis! “Shit!”
“Anon, I’m not cleaning your seat. Do I have to put you outside? I could have sworn you were potty trained.” Discord said as he jumped one seat away from you, looking at you with a disgusted stare.
“No, geez! No! I mean, I forgot to ask Chrysalis something important!” Shit! Shit! Shit!
“Ah, about the Storm Whatever. Relax, Anon, you have time for that, it’s not like she’s going anywhere. Speaking of, why can’t I just send that cretin of a chancellor away again? Nopony would have to know, you know, we’d get away with it without an issue.” Discord said, in truth, feeling rather antsy about the situation.
“Because he isn’t a bad guy, Discord. He just has a lot of bias. Plus, eventually, we’d be suspected anyway. Bla, either way, you can’t just portal your worries away.” You tell him. “I’m gonna have to be a big boy and deal with the issue, by also getting Celestia to help me.”
“Yes, you mentioned her. You are aware he won’t just trust her either, right? How exactly is she going to make a difference?” Discord asked.
“Her authority, and the fact she usually has the right thing to say. Look, he doesn’t have to trust her or me, he just needs to leave Twilight alone. And for that to happen, I need Celestia’s help. Me and her will figure something out, trust me.” You explain to Discord as you give him a sure smile.
“Well, I hope you don’t blame me for being skeptical, but the fact you’re going by the word of our local pest is what really irks me. There’s chaos, and then there’s pure idiocy. Really, why are you listening to him again? Last I remember, he wasn’t even right about Celestia having plans for you or Twilight. A bet he still whines to me about, as if I’m listening.” Discord says with a scoff “Are you really going to tell me he knows more than you?”
Ngh… “Er, actually. He sort of won the bet, er, when it came to Celestia and Twilight.”
“WHAAAAT?!” Discord grabbed you angrily as he began to shake you. “Are you telling me Celestia, Princess Celestia, is actually grooming Twilight? To take the throne as ruler of Equestria?! This is true and you didn’t bother telling me?! Why would you keep that from me when the possibilities to poke at the situation is limitless?!”
“Discord! Discord! G-geez! Stop! You gotta stop! I’m not even supposed to really tell anypony!” You yell out as you’re shaken.
“Who cares about who you shouldn’t tell! You should have told me!” Discord yelled out at you as he held you still, staring directly at you.
“Discord! I couldn’t!... Even though I just did. Look, you can’t say or do anything about it, ok?! I think I have a good relationship with Luna, alright? If she found out I told you, that would be it for me, ok? Do you understand? Discord, please, PLEASE, for once, you gotta hold back. Please?” You begin to look at him with big sad eyes. “Please? I don’t know what Luna would do to me if she knew you knew, ok? It… It actually scares me.” Dammit, why did you even mention it?! So offhandedly too. God, that was stupid! Of course Discord is gonna try something anyway, it’s too juicy for him.
Or maybe, you were wrong, as Discord slowly lowered you back down to your seat, and let out a big sigh. “So Luna told you this in confidence, I see. You make my life so difficult sometimes, Anon, I swear. For once, the opportunity for not only fun, but to test Twilight’s capabilities to their fullest just falls on my lap and I can’t do anything about it. Do you enjoy being a liability?”
“No, but, does that mean you actually won’t do anything with what I told you?” You asked. He could just lie to you. But, if there really was one thing about Discord you could count on him on, is the fact that when he seriously SERIOUSLY means something, he usually isn’t lying about it. Hopefully, anyway.
“No, not a thing. Of course, if I somehow get this information from somepony else, somepony I don’t deeply care for, then I will still do what I’m already currently planning to do. Scapegoats and all that.” Discord said with a shrug. Dammit… Well, at least it's something.
“Ugh, who would even tell you anyway?” You ask
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Sooner or later, I’ll come across this information myself.” Discord said
You sigh as you shake your head. Discord, always finding some way to get his way. “Whatever, as long as it doesn’t come back to me, you do what you do. Ugh, as for me, I gotta be a big stallion now and deal with Chrysalis. Actually, do you think I could get a free teleport for that?”
“Considering the circumstances…” Discord snaps his talons, causing your horn to glow momentarily. “Just take a full recharge as well, compliments to me. If any of this goes afoul, it’ll mean big trouble for all of us, including Fluttershy. Anon, I think you’re taking on a little too much of a chaotic payload lately.” Discord stops, as if he had some advice for you, until suddenly he leans back on his seat and continues to observe Twilight and the others, his tail snapping open a portal for you. “Bye.”
“Bye?” Wut?
“Yes, bye. I don’t want to miss any more of what we already missed. Now go away, you’re bothering me.” Discord said as he waved at you to shoo you away.
Discord, heh. He cares, he always does when the chips are down. You nod towards him, and walk through the portal. You end up standing in front of Chrysalis’s forest manor, created through your chaos magic and her near endless requests of you. But then, something was off, the front door was open, why?
“Chrysalis?” You stay at the ready as you slowly open the door, peering into the luxurious main hall of her home. The Storm Ravager, if he was alive, could be anywhere. “Chrysalis?” You call out again. You check the living room, and see nothing amiss. Was she out? Was she in her room? Was she in the basement cave? You could opt to go upstairs and ch-GYAH! Holy shit, there was suddenly a bloody yell coming from upstairs, so yep, time to go up there! “Chrysalis!” The Storm Ravager! Maybe he was attacking, or betraying, Chrysalis.
You gallop back into the main hall and head upstairs, rushing into Chrysalis’s bedroom, a dark black and murky room with green lights, another television with a dvd player, and a luxuriously comfortable bed. However, there was something amiss, because standing outside the bathroom door was… “Applebloom?! What? No, Chrysalis?”
“What?! Anon?! Anon! Are you behind this?! I should have known you’d try something like this!” Bellowed Chrysalis from the other side of the bathroom door.
Wut? WUT?! “Holy… Applebloom?! What are you?! WHAT A?! WHY?! HOW?!”
“Why is everypony so darn surprised that I’m here? Ah just used Scrappy’s map to find Chrysalis, and it ain’t like I haven’t traveled through the forest by myself before. Look, ah even got potions in mah saddlebag to deal with any forest monsters that try to get at me.” Applebloom said with a stomp, before looking back towards the bathroom door. “And you, I ain’t leavin’ til we have a talk.”
Your eye began to twitch, your hairs instantly standing on end. How the fuck?! “But what are you doing here?! As in, why?!”
“Well, ah know about the curse, and ah know Scrappy has been getting anxious about it, so ah came to see if ah could reform Chrysalis myself. It’s not like she can hurt me or anything, because, yaknow.” Applebloom points at the shackles on your legs.
“Ooooooh good, so it really is your fault, Anon! All your talk about reforming me has given your pathetic friends ideas, ideas that have them run amok in my home! Anon, if you don’t get rid of her right now, then I’ll destroy her right after I destroy Twilight Sparkle. Do you hear me?! I know you can! I will not let this curse hold me down!” Chrysalis yelled.
“Ah thought the curse was yer idea.” Applebloom told Chrysalis through the door, causing a sudden long silence.
Suddenly, the door bursts open, as Chrysalis looks upon you, then Applebloom, with utter gloom before giving out some mocking laughter. “Ha ha, you think you’re so smart, don’t you? Well then, little filly, here is your chance. Reform me. If you can’t, I’ll have Anon throw you out forever, understood?”
“Anon wouldn’t do that, he wants to help you, and so do I, for Scrappy’s sake!” Applebloom yelled out at her, giving her a hard stare.
“I’m starting to loathe my little captain again. You don’t even know me, you don’t know what I like, what I hate, what I even do as a pastime! You risked your life to come here, and for what, idle chit chat? Want to have a little girl talk? I can do that, given everything I’ve learned from Anon, I can show you things that will make you never want to be awake again!” Chrysalis says as she growls at her.
“Except, ya still can’t hurt me.” Applebloom said with a smirk.
“WHY YOU IMPUDENT!...” Chrysalis raised her hoof to slap Applebloom, but Applebloom remained unmoving, even as Chrysalis’s hoof came close. Chrysalis then stopped and looked towards you, her gloomy expression returning. “Anon, I’m ignoring her now. So please, please, tell me you’ve come to me with something a little more interesting.”
“I have… Which, er…” Christ, this was awkward. You can’t just mention the Storm Ravager around Applebloom. And sure, you could send her away with your magic, but then you run the risk of her becoming more determined to get back here, especially when it’d be a time you’d not be around. So, how to word this… “Look, I need you to tell me the truth. Are you planning on teaming up with anypony for your plans? If you are, I need to know who it is. And Chrysalis…” Here we go, here we fucking go. “This is important to me, I don’t want to have to use my magic to get you to tell the truth.”
“Oh ho, is that a threat? What? Are you going to use your magic to make me tell the truth?” Chrysalis said as she threateningly drew ever closer.
“I mean, I could just take away the car instead, if that is what you’d like.” Don’t bend to her this time, Anon, this was too important!
“How DARE you! You’d say that to me?! Who do you think you are?!” Chrysalis growled and shouted
“Your best and possibly only friend, who is trying to look out for you and make sure you don’t do anything you’d regret. Now tell me, Chrysalis, I can’t be playing games with you right now.” You demanded, which caused Applebloom to be taken aback.
“Er, what’s going on now?” Applebloom asked, confused.
Chrysalis’s anger bubbled for a moment before she sighed, gave up, and plopped her ass down. “Oh, nothing, Anon just seems to have this idea I’m working with somepony to destroy Twilight Sparkle. Anon, you don’t seem to listen very well at all, so let me say it again. I shall not, and will not work with anypony to achieve my goals. Really, do you think I’m that type of girl, throwing myself to whatever evil being that is offering their services to me at the time just so I have a chance to realize my plans? Get real, I know how it works, one mistake and I’m a statue, drained of all my power, or worse. These cursed shackles don’t help the situation either. Trust me, Anon, if there was anypony who I’d want to help me in my innocent little endeavor, it’d be you. You wouldn’t let me down, would you?” Chrysalis says as she flutters her eyes at you, before suddenly scoffing and letting out a groan. “Don’t answer that, I’d rather not hear your ‘virtuous’ answer. And… Anon? Why do you suddenly feel like you’ve lost the will to live?”
Because you truly felt she was telling the truth. She could still be lying, and yet, how could she be? The Storm Ravager fit the bill on total betrayers, he would totally throw her to the dogs the moment he was done with her, Chrysalis isn’t stupid. And sure, she could betray him first, but that’s assuming the curse lifts in time before he takes any preemptive actions.
Cozy Glow, could it really be you?
“Sheesh, Anon, she’s right, yer looking pale right now.” Applebloom added, feeling worried for you all of a sudden. “Maybe we should get him some warm water.”
“What?! Listen to me, little filly. One, you’re not using my water. And two, do not agree with me! I will not share the same opinions with a little brat like you!” Chrysalis said as she snapped back at Applebloom.
“Little brat?! Yer the brat! Why do ya gotta be mean all the time? Anon’s your best friend! He cares about you so much, and ah don’t even see how he can. All you do is use and abuse him, you don’t seem to care at all!” Applebloom shouts back at Chrysalis.
“Idiot! You can’t fathom how good our friendship is! It is certainly better than any friendship you ponies babble on about! That’s right, your pathetic friendships are no match for our evil companionship!” Chrysalis barks at Applebloom.
Applebloom looks back at you, then at Chrysalis, then back at you, then back at her. “Evil? Anon ain’t evil. He just tries really hard, and is sometimes a jerk, or a big goof. But a jerk ain’t evil, Chrysalis. Plus, Anon is a real hero, he’s risked his life for Equestria, and Scootaloo, you, just about everypony really. When it really matters, Anon is one of the best there is!”
“Woah, Applebloom, you really mean that? The hero part, I mean.” Wow, that sure was a great compliment, enough to temporarily break you from your dread. Though, looking at Chrysalis, she just rolled her eyes.
“Of course ah do. Ah meant every word. But you really can be a jerk sometimes. Aaaaanyway, Anon is good, not evil. So what in the hay are ya talkin’ about?” Applebloom asked Chrysalis, trying to beat her at her own argument.
“I'm talking about the chance he's given me, he's given me the chance to destroy Twilight Sparkle once and for all! To make that treacherous Princess Celestia weep and cry and go boohoo hooooo, ohhh boohoo.” Chrysalis then snickered as she stared down the little filly. “And that is very evil.”
“Yeah, but, he only did it because yer gonna lose. You’ll lose, then reform. Ah hope, anyway.” Applebloom said with a sigh, yet her stare never left Chrysalis’s eyes.
“You hope?! For what? Why would you even think that I’m going to lose? Oh, that’s right, because you’re a bright eyed little brat. It’s a laugh, really, a big joke. To think, you came here to try to reform me yourself, and here you are, failing, like the pathetic pony you are.” Chrysalis said with a big grin.
“Well, ah may be failin’, but ah still chased you into yer own bathroom like the fraidy cat you are.” Applebloom said, smirking back at her.
Oh no. “Woah, woah, girls, I can see where this is going and-” But you are ignored as Chrysalis explodes at Applebloom.
“YOU LITTLE… YOU IMPUDENT LITTLE… GRRR! I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, OR HIM, OR ANYPONY ELSE! YOU DIDN’T ‘CHASE’ ME INTO MY BATHROOM, I MERELY RESISTED THE URGE TO DESTROY YOU! BUT OH, SO HELP ME, BY THE POWERS OF EVIL, I’LL DESTROY YOU IF YOU DARE UTTER ONE MORE INSULT TOWARDS ME! SO GO AHEAD, TEST YOUR LUCK! EVEN IF I MAY DISAPPEAR, YOUR SISTER AND HER FRIENDS, INCLUDING TWILIGHT, WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM LOSING YOU!” Chrysalis threatened as her horn began to glow.
“Alright, alright! Wow, ah can say one thing, you were a lot nicer when you were ‘drunk’ or whatever Anon called it.” Applebloom said with an eye roll.
“YOU! Wait, what?” Chrysalis is suddenly taken aback as she looks towards you, her horn's glow snuffing out. “Is she talking about that silly stupid party, way back when?”
“Er, yeah. I mean, you don’t remember too much of it, but I did say you got drunk and-” But suddenly, Chrysalis starts angrily shouting at you once again
“Lies! I don’t care what you say, I have taken the time to realize how wrong you are. Anon! Do you really think, and I want you to ponder on this, do you actually think I’d ever show a single ounce of care or love towards anypony, ever?” Chrysalis asks you.
“Er, you like Diamond Tiara, remember?” Oh god, here we go, she has to act all evil and shitty because Applebloom is present.
Chrysalis scoffs. “Ugh, yes! I don’t mind her, she has a seed of evil still waiting to bloom within her heart. But them?” Chrysalis points to Applebloom “I refuse to believe it.”
“But it really happened! You were huggin’ on Scootaloo and everything. You were being kinda nice, er, mostly.” Applebloom said, turning her hoof from side to side to signify Chrysalis’s niceness levels.
“Oh, really? Anon, how many charges do you have? One, none?” Chrysalis asked.
“Er, actually, I got two. One of those specia- Wait, Chrysalis, no.” She was gonna ask for booze. Oh god, she was gonna fucking challenge Applebloom to something she can’t win.
“Chrysalis, yes! I am the queen! And I demand your strongest human drink! And, furthermore, you will chronicle the next thirty minutes of me verbally thrashing this stupid filly once she sees how unaffected I really am.” Chrysalis stomps her hoof down towards you. “I will not be denied by either of you.”
“Er, ah wasn’t gonna deny nothin’. But, are ya challenging me? Or, something? Ahm confused. Wait, are you gonna drink the drink that made ya drunk?” Applebloom began to ponder for a moment, then shrugged “Alright, ah ain’t gonna stop ya. But Anon, ah wanna try that stuff too! Can I?”
Oh no, oh noononononononono “We are not doing this. I am not going to be responsible for a drunk changeling, and especially, a drunk filly. Ok? Because one of us is gonna die, probably me if your sister found out about any of this.”
“But I won’t tell, promise!” Applebloom said as she hopped about, excited about the challenge “Ah wanna try it too!”
“Just give it to her, Anon. It’ll be funny.” Chrysalis said with a smirk as she looked towards Applebloom. “Because I know how it works, and you’ll spill all your secrets to me. A small victory, but tormenting you with your worst fears will be a start. And I'll have a way to view your foolishness for all time”
“Not if ah find out yer secrets first! Come on already, Anon, hit us with that ‘drunk’ drink!” Applebloom said, in further excitement, wanting to beat Chrysalis at her own game.
“Applebloom, I’m serious, I can’t give this stuff to you. And Chrysalis, you’re gonna regret it, I swear to all that is good AND evil that you are. Look, as pretty much the only responsible guy here, I’m not going to be the one to let you both mess yourselves up.” You nod towards them with authority “And that’s that.”
“Wow, Anon, yer not fun at all. Humph.” Applebloom plopped on her ass, pouting at you with annoyance.
“He gets like this a lot. Suddenly decides to be more righteous and good than he really is, trying to be some sort of knight that believes we’re damsels in need of protection from ourselves. I’m sure you noticed that about him.” Chrysalis says as she pretty much does the same thing, sitting and pouting, annoyed.
“Yeah, sometimes he’s being all shady, then sometimes he wants to be all adult about things and tell us we shouldn’t be doin’ this or that.” Applebloom says with a sigh.
“And you fell in love with him? I can only guess you regret that now.” Chrysalis says.
“Well, it ain’t like I became his marefriend or anything. Glad I ain’t in fact. Ah think I’d go nuts, ah dunno how Diamond Tiara does it.” Applebloom says, really unsure on how yours and Diamond’s relationship works.
“She keeps him in line, and does quite a good job of it too. He’s a whipped colt, all this is just a facade.” Chrysalis says as she looks towards you with a grin. “Come now, Anon, just give us the drinks.”
“Yeah, Anon, or are you a whipped colt?” Applebloom said, copying Chrysalis in a way to goad you into doing it.
You started to tremble. oh, so that’s it? Huh? You know what? Why not? You can make sure Applebloom will never ask for a ‘drunk’ drink ever again, you get to slam dunk Chrysalis, since you'll have a recording of her dumbass shit. “Fine! You know what? Fine! But nopony finds out about this, ok? I want your word, Applebloom. I don’t want you telling Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, or even Scrappy.”
Applebloom rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah, ah promise.”
“Finally. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, stupid filly, you’re going to experience quite a bad time.” Chrysalis said with a snicker.
Oh, they both will. You slap on your horn and use a spell that puts you in a classy bartender’s suit, complete with a slicked back mane as a table with various bottles, a mixer, and two glasses appear before you. “Alright, let’s get you two a drink!”
Applebloom and Chrysalis sat across from one another. You had mixed the drinks into a custom concoction you called the ‘Chaos Champagne’ in which you poured into two cups. Nothing fancy, just an alcoholic drink that auto sets itself to the amount of alcohol needed to make its drinkers drunk. “Alright girls, listen up. I gave you both a cup of this stuff, custom made, to get you both acceptably drunk. Understood?”
Applebloom nodded, then brought her nose to the drink and took a sniff, causing her to immediately recoil in disgust. “Agh! Anon! Why does this stuff smell like rubbing alcohol?”
“Pathetic,” Chrysalis said with a snicker as she brought the drink up with her magic. “All that talk, and you can’t even stand the smell.” Chrysalis said as she took a sniff herself, her nose only scrunching for a moment. “Smells divine” She said, with a hint of falseness in her voice.
“Oh yeah?! Well watch this!” Applebloom, not wanting to be topped by Chrysalis, began to swig down the drink as much as she could, which wasn’t much, because the moment the first drop touched her tongue she immediately slammed her cup down as she began to spit out the small amount she managed to get into her mouth, coughing and hacking. “GYAH! UGH! Anon! What was that?! Are ya tryin’ to poison me or somethin’?!”
You roll your eyes at Applebloom. Hell, you were relieved she didn’t like the drink, it meant you didn’t have to deal with her being drunk and getting into trouble. But christ, what a wimpy drinker. “There’s a reason I didn’t want you drinking this stuff, Applebloom. It isn’t meant for foals.”
“That’s right, ‘Applebloom', it isn’t meant for pathetic little foals. Hence why this is a drink only royalty can handle. Observe.” Chrysalis said with a sly snicker as she used her magic to raise both cups.
“Wuh? Wait, Chrysalis you’re not supp-Oh no, you totally did.” She did it, she drank both cups! Oh no, this isn’t good.
“Ah, refreshing. See, Anon? I was perfectly capable of handling myself just fine.” Chrysalis said, as she sat there, proudly.
“Chrysalis, geez! No, no, no. You don’t understand, Applebloom’s drink was actually stronger because, well, because you’re a freaking bug! You absorb that stuff like, like, how you feed on love! I have no idea how it’s going to affect you!” Oh god, please, please, let it not kill her!
Chrysalis began to laugh heartily “'How I feed on love'? Really? You make it sound like it's some sort of poison. As you can see, Anon, this had n-” And then suddenly, she slammed right onto the table, twitching.
“Anon?! What did you do?! Oh no, you really poisoned her?! Really?!” Applebloom cried out as she began to check on Chrysalis, waving her hoof in front of her. “Oh no, ah can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but ya gotta be alright! Come on, say something!”
“I didn’t… Geez! Chrysalis! Grrr! Why?! Ok, ok, hold on, let me just use my horn to make a pump and try to-” But as you slapped your horn on your head, Chrysalis began to open her eyes as she looked onto Applebloom with a sudden wild expression.
“You, y-you, it’s you.” She muttered as she began to make an attempt at standing, wobbling, unable to keep herself still.
“Chrysalis, you ok?” Applebloom asked.
“Chrysalis…” You let out a deep sigh as you begin to prep the spell correctly, or as correctly as you think you can cast it. “Hold still, ok? I’m gonna try to suck the alcohol out of you.”
Suddenly, Chrysalis hopped onto the ceiling, staring down at the both of you with a crazed and angry stare. “Celllleessstttiiiaaaa, Thhhooorrraaaaxxxx.”
“A-Anon? E-er, w-why is she getting scarier?” Applebloom said as she began to shiver, looking upon Chrysalis as she hid behind you.
Indeed, as Chrysalis grew closer, she began to be covered by random flames of green as she started to become a grotesque amalgamation of monsters and ponies, both of those you knew and didn’t know. From a quarter of Twilight’s face to the legs of a manticore. The fuck was going on?! “Chrysalis? Er, what are you doing?”
“You two, you t-t-twoooo. You b-both took everything away from me. And you dare, YOU DARE, show your faces here?” Chrysalis began to drool as her jaw began to contort, her eyes becoming more vicious as they grew. Was she drunk?! Or was she turning into a monster?!
“Anon?” Applebloom began to tremble more as she noticed Chrysalis suddenly stopped moving, only staring.
Shit! You two? Thorax? Celestia?! Dammit, did Chrysalis think you both were them?! Not good, it meant she was going to get violent! “Applebloom, run! RUN!” You had to push her to get her going, because the moment you made a sprint towards the door, Chrysalis crashed down on your position and began to rush towards you and Applebloom as she began to grow larger, growing more legs, screeching like a demon.
“CELESSSSTTTIIIAAAAA!” She bellowed out in a million screams at once as you and Applebloom jumped to the side after escaping her bedroom.
“Anon! Ah thought being drunk made you friendly! What’s happening!?” Applebloom yelled out as she began to hide on the wall next to the door.
You knew what was up, Chrysalis must have been having a alcohol induced PTSD moment. Which, as scary as she was right now, made it more dangerous for herself as well. All she had to do was attack you or Applebloom once and it was over! “Applebloom, this is why I said it wasn’t meant for you. Being drunk doesn’t make you friendly, it just makes you highly emotional. And Chrysalis hasn’t really had a reason to be in a good mood for awhile. C’mon, we have to get downstairs be-” But before you could finish your sentence, you hear a crash at the door. “What in the?”
You take a look over to see Chrysalis had crashed on the doorway itself, unable to fit through due to her increased size. “How in? Who put this door here? Stupid door! I am the queen, and you will not stand in the way of my revenge!” Chrysalis’s twisted horn began to glow, then sputter, then shoot out a useless bolt that did nothing. “When did doorways get so sturdy?”
“What in the hay? Now she’s calm? Ok, now ah really wanna know what that potion did. She ain’t acting right at all.” Applebloom said as she began to give you a hard stare. “We’re you tryin’ to give me a stupid potion?”
What?! Goddammit, didn’t she pay attention the first time?! “Applebloom! I said it makes you highly emotional, and yes, I guess it also makes you kind of stupid. But it isn’t a potion, it is just how the chemicals in the drink work! Now you listen to me and you listen to me good, get out of here, now!” You demanded.
“I-I can’t, it’s already gettin’ to sunset, ah can’t go now! It’s sorta dangerous.” Applebloom said as she looked back towards the stairs, then back towards you. “Besides, ah can’t leave you here alone. Ah gotta help somehow!” Applebloom gave you a stern look “I’m stayin’!, and you c-” And then suddenly, she looked past you, her pupils shrinking as her coat began to turn white. This was not a good sign.
You didn’t even ask Applebloom what was wrong, as it was obvious. But come on, how scary can it be? You look back, and could see Chrysalis looking directly at you, her head was huge, her eyes venomous, thin, red, as her smile was a crescent wide terror of sharp teeth. She was slowly slipping through the doorway as she seemed to flow to the ceiling. You begin to turn pale yourself, you look towards Applebloom, and squeak out. “Run!”
Chrysalis let out a mad roar as she slammed down from above you. You dive into Applebloom, and try to pull her along, screaming at her as Chrysalis began to prep her elongated, skewed, and multiple legs to rush towards the both of you. “Applebloom, now isn’t the time to freeze! We gotta go!”
Applebloom could only stand in place as Chrysalis began to drool, ready at any moment to strike. Dammit! You try pulling at her again, but she wouldn’t budge. So, as a last ditch effort, you rush in front of her and dive into her to try to get her to move. A bad idea, as you both just end up on your bellies, Chrysalis leaping to strike. And leap she did, right over you both, as she ends up crashing down near the edge of the stairs, and then begins to roll down, yelping in pain with every bump, transforming back to her original self with every bounce. You raise your ears, look around, then head to the stairs to see what was going on. By the time she was at the bottom of the stairs, she was looking like her original self, still yelping, until she finally plops to the bottom, groaning in pain.
“Shit…” You say to yourself, looking down at Chrysalis as she just laid there. “She really is drunk, that was fucking terrible. I hope she’s…” And that’s when you hear it. Was she, was she crying?
“Anon!” You hear behind yourself “You ok?! What happened?!” Applebloom asked, bewildered to be ok after what she saw. “I thought we were done for! Ah didn’t know Chrysalis could turn into that!”
“She normally can’t…” You say as you look back at Chrysalis, who continued to weep. “Applebloom, Chrysalis isn’t really herself right now, ok? I really need you to go home and let me handle this.”
“Anon, ah told you, ah can’t go home right now. It’s too late, and really dangerous. Zecora and my sister always tell me not to go into the forest this late by myself. And trust me, ah have experienced the forest enough to know they aren’t kidding with how dangerous it is.” Applebloom said as she gave you a determined look “And besides, I’m ready this time, ah think I can really help!”
Ugh, at this point, you were either willing to let her use Scrappy’s map to teleport into your room, or just use your second charge to send her home yourself. But given you may need that charge, and you don’t want her risking traversing the house by herself… UGGGHHHHH. “Fine, but I’m taking the lead from now on, understand? You follow me, and that’s that. I can send you home instantly if I want, but I need a charge just in case something goes wrong. So, yeah, don’t force me to use it on you.”
“Yikes. Ok, ok, ah get it. But… Is Chrysalis gonna be ok? Is she… Crying?” Applebloom asked, confused and amazed as she too looked down the steps to see a sobbing Chrysalis.
“Yeah, hence why I’m saying to stay behind me and let me check it out. I’m serious, Applebloom. If she hurts you, she’s gone, and I am very not ok with that happening.” You say as you begin to walk down the stairs, stopping for a moment to make sure she acknowledges your words.
“I’m Pinkie Promising here, Anon.” Applebloom says as she does the regular motions to the tried and true Pinkie Promise. “Just make sure you don’t get hurt yourself, ok? Sometimes, ya just don't get how dangerous things are.”
“Heh.” She says that as if she still had a crush on you. Adorable, but dammit, Anon, focus! Your friend was down, and she was fucking crying. You had to make sure she was ok after… Whatever the fuck that all was. Christ, she thought you were Thorax, and Applebloom was Celestia. Dammit, you should have realized getting her drunk at this stage of her life was a bad idea. “No, I get it. Wow, it almost sounds like you’re saying it as my marefriend or something.”
“No! I’m just worried, ok! I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt, that’s all!” You look back to see Applebloom blushing just a little bit. She was probably telling the truth, but just mentioning it embarrassed her. She looked at you as you looked at her. “What are you starin’ at?”
“Nothing, nothing, just double checking that you're alright.” You chuckle, but then sigh, as Chrysalis’s sobs grew as you drew near. “Ok, Applebloom, stay back, ok?” You whisper to her. “There is a possibility she may be faking it, just so we can be close enough for her to strike. Let me go in and see if I can talk to her, alright?”
Applebloom, not only does she nod, but she takes a few steps back up the stairs. “Ok, but be careful! For both yours and her sake.”
“Got it…” You nod towards her as you slowly approach the sobbing queen. “Chrysalis, y-you ok?”
Chrysalis, woah, she actually had tears in her eyes as she began to slowly rise, then fall back on her side. “Grrr, Ngh, Gertrude! You miserable excuse of a queen, how can you be me when you gave up fighting?!” Chrysalis began to try to stand again, only to wobble and fall forward. “Ngh, Why?! Everything is gone, my hive is gone, my children. My children betrayed me, all because of that horrid princess! She must suffer, she must feel my pain!” Chrysalis tried dragging herself across the floor, only to slip and fall back. “After everything I’ve done for them, they all betrayed me. Even… Even…” Chrysalis curled up and began to whimper “Even Scrappy turned into one of them. How can he love me when he’s turned into that abomination?! Why would he?”
Holy shit, she was actually crying. And what she was saying. She was showing she was actually in pain, pain from loss. You’d never thought you’d see the day she was broken up like this, even if she is drunk. Like, fuck, she was even referring to Scrappy as Scrappy, and not her Captain. “Chrysalis. A-are you alright? It’s me, Anon. You ok?”
“Anon? Anon!” Chrysalis cried out for you, even trying to reach for you. “Where are you? You have to hide with me here… In the... “ Chrysalis dizzily looks around as she sniffs, her nose dripping with bright green boogers as tears still continued to stream down her eyes. “Main hall, t-the perfect hiding spot.”
Oh yeah, she was drunk. “Chrysalis, I don’t think-” But she cuts you off.
“I know you don’t think, that’s why I’m doing it for you. You have to hide here with me, or else Celestia will see you’re ready to destroy her. I can’t… I can’t risk her eliminating you.” Chrysalis said as she dragged herself over to where she could hear your voice.
She can’t risk you being eliminated by Celestia? Is that what she thought? In her moments of drunken PTSD, you were amazed she’d be worried about you so deeply at all. Sure, she’s risked her life for you, but she’s always had an excuse as to why she did it as to not to allude to the fact she just liked you. In fact, it prompted you to see what else Chrysalis thought. Maybe, just maybe, even if she didn’t remember it later, it’d stay with her subconsciously that she admitted her true feelings. Plus, it might be safer just to humor her thoughts anyway. “What do you mean, Chrysalis?”
“Of course y-you’d ask that. She’s come for us, Anon, she wants to finish me off.” Chrysalis said drunkenly “But… But, fine, let her. I’ve lost everything, e-very-thing. All I have is you… And to lose you, to ruin your life due to my justified plans for revenge. I can’t let it happen. Anon, do you remember that other Equestria?”
“Yeah, I do. But why do you-OOP!” Suddenly, you feel yourself nabbed by Chrysalis’s magic as she brings you to the grip of her legs. She was suddenly nuzzling you, cuddling. And yet, she wasn’t draining you, at all. She was just holding you, like she was your mother. “C-Chrysalis?”
“Shh, shut up and let me talk. Anon, you… You, I have a confession. I… I enjoyed our adventure, not in an evil sense, b-but in a fun sense. Learning to love cars, teaming up with you to scheme on a plan, pulling it off together. It was all so thrilling, and different. It was strange, as you’d think I wouldn’t have had fun, given Discord just threw me in with you like the callous jerk he is. Yesss… Anon and Nymous. You and me. Anon, I wish… I wish I could have pretended to be your sister more. It was, well, it was like… Like… It felt like I had a real brother. Sure, I hated some of it, but even when we did that whole stupid arcade tournament thing… I had fun. I had fun with you, Anon. But you, you made friends with the ponies, and I have not. I need to end Celestia here, or be ended… It’s the only way to protect you.” Chrysalis said as she began to run her hoof gently through your mane. “You never gave up on me, even after I tried to end you. Anon. S-so, I can’t give up on you. It’s just us against Equestria.”
W-woah, ok, hold up. Although she wasn’t really holding her thoughts together, she just pretty much admitted you were family to her. Did she mean it? How could she not? The alcohol, maybe it was preventing her from holding back on her thoughts after all. If that was the case… Chrysalis, she actually cared, like, cared more than you realized. She loved you, like a sister would love a brother. “Chrysalis, I could never give up on you. You’re one of my dearest friends. You’re like a sister to me. And Diamond cares about you too, remember?”
“I do…” Chrysalis said with a sniff, before breaking out in wild sobbing. “Why, Anon?! Why can’t you just destroy Twilight for me?! No, why… Why won’t you help me take over Equestria? We have the magic, the power, the talent! Annnnon, they’d never accept me for what I am, so how could you so easily just accept my evvvvvilness? How can you, and yet not join me?” Chrysalis was practically begging to know, holding you close as she massaged your head, slowly dragging her hoof along your mane and to the back of your ear. “I just don’t understand. Is it me? Did I do something wrong? What if I threatened you more? Would that help?”
Chrysalis… “Chrysalis, It’s nothing like that. I’m your friend because I like you, because you’re fun to be around, I’ve told you that before. But I can tell, especially at this moment, that you don’t really want to be evil. You just want your life back. And you know what? You could, and more! You can win your children back, still be my friend, and have new friends among the ponies. Chrysalis, you know what I’m talking about, right?”
“Getting rid of Twilight Sparkle to make Celestia miserable forever?” Chrysalis asked, almost sounding like an ignorant child.
“No. It’s by being good, reforming, bettering yourself, and becoming more friendly. Chrysalis, you could even be part of my family if you wanted, I wouldn’t mind having you as a sister. And you know Diamond would love to have you as a sister in law. Look what being evil has gotten you. You’re alone, you don’t know what to do, I don’t even think you have an actual plan to get to Twilight. So please, if you care as much as you say you do about me, just stop, lose to Twilight, and let's go home together, ok?” You give it your all, nuzzling your head under her chin, making your voice sugar sweet. Anything to at least get your feelings down deep into her subconscious.
But all you get in reply is snoring. Goddammit! Fuck! She fell asleep at the most crucial moment! “Ugh… Of course.”
“Wow, ah didn’t know she could actually like anypony that much. Ah mean, she’s still sounding evil about it, but it sounds like you’re everything to her.” Applebloom chimed in as she carefully came down the stairs, being cautious in case she had to run back up.
“Yeah…” You say with a sigh. “I always figured she did, but given all this, I guess this is why she usually put herself at the forefront of her usual schemes. Maybe she didn’t want to lose any of her children to anything… You heard what she said right?”
“Ya mean about not losing you? Yeah, sounded like she was willin’ to go hoof to hoof with Princess Celestia if it meant you’d be ok. Kinda sounds like something Scrappy would do. So then, does being drunk just mean ya tell the truth? Because if Chrysalis is tellin’ the truth, then it means, maybe, she can be convinced to be good. All she has to do is see that you’re more important than being evil.” Applebloom said, as hope began to shine forth through her expression.
“Easier said than done, especially since she probably won’t remember most, or even any of this when she wakes up. Probably won’t even admit she blacked out.” You let out a sorrowful sigh. “She’s going to really give it her all to destroy Twilight. Which makes me scared, I need to hope Twilight will do what is necessary to at least defeat Chrysalis without bruising her ego… Or worse.”
“Ah shucks, Anon, Twilight always knows what to do, it’ll be fine. You should be happy, because once she loses, she’ll definitely choose you over being lonely again! So don’t worry, everything is gonna be fine.” Applebloom said as she tried to cheer you up.
“You say it like it’s so simple. Emotions are pretty complicated, Applebloom.” You tell her.
“Ah know, but it ain’t like I’m wrong. Wasn’t it your idea that if she loses, she’s gonna reform anyway? Why are ya suddenly doubting that?” Applebloom asked you, confused on your sudden flip flop.
“I… Don’t know. I dunno, I guess I’m just afraid of her being stubborn, and making things worse. She pretty much put her emotions on the table there, and I’m just afraid she isn’t willing to forgive Celestia or Thorax.” You respond. “I’m afraid it’s due to that that she isn’t really willing to reform. I thought she was willing, but it just sounded like she’d just go back to the drawing board… Or go crazy and risk her life just to end Celestia, period.”
“Now yer overthinking things, Anon. Let me tell ya, if I was Chrysalis, and I failed in my last chance at ultimate revenge, ah would just reform. It’s what yer dad pretty much did, it’s kinda how Luna became good, sorta. Look, case in point, they saw that reforming was the answer. Besides, let’s say I was really evil. Do ya think I’d just go to a fight ah can’t win? What better way to humiliate Celestia than to beat her at her own game? By bein’ friendlier than she is!” Applebloom explained to you, hoping to get your spirits up.
“Not really Chrysalis’s style, Applebloom. She just wants her destroyed, or just suffering as bad as she is.” You tell her, putting your head down, feeling defeated.
“...Anon, c’mon, you can’t go thinkin’ so negatively on something that ain’t even happened yet. Chrysalis obviously cares about you, and I bet deep down, she’ll think about that, and will just want to be yer friend over anything else. Heck, maybe she don’t even gotta reform, maybe she just becomes somepony who just lives out here and just has fun with the friends she already likes. She’s got a nice house, it ain’t like she has to give it all up.” Applebloom was now trying to be as sensible as she can… And for once, that actually sounded pretty damn sensible.
“Woah… that’s not a bad idea, actually. A neutral solution. She leaves all of ponykind alone, becomes a hermit, and me and Diamond come and visit at our leisure. Everypony wins! Applebloom, I could kiss you!” You even tried to move, but you were stuck tight in Chrysalis’s grip. “Er, metaphorically speaking. Not like I could go and do it anyway.”
“Well, er, shucks, Anon. But er, do you think she’d agree to that much, though?” Applebloom asked, feeling a little unsure, quickly shrugging off your awkward response. “She might just lie, and try to go after Celestia anyway.”
Wut? “Then why did you even make that suggestion?!”
“Because it can still be a thing, Anon. Do you got any better ideas?” Applebloom asks.
“No, so really, I’m going to have to hope she cares more about me than she does about revenge” You let out a small sigh, and snuggle up on Chrysalis. “Maybe I can do that much though. I already know she cares about me. Maybe, just maybe, that is enough that if she decides to go after Celestia anyway, that me threatening breaking my friendship with her would make her reconsider. Underhooved, but she may actually like me doing that.”
“Then you think everything is gonna be ok then?” Applebloom asked, hoping she had helped calm your nerves.
“Yeah, yeah, I think I can make sure everything will be alright.” It isn’t like she’s going to get the upper hand on Twilight or anything anyway. Twilight's victory was pretty much locked down.
“Yeah! Wait, what do we do now, though? Ah kinda got to get going soon, and er, you look kinda stuck.” Applebloom, now sure everything is ok, realized the situation at the current moment needed to be resolved.
“Well, er, looks like I’m kinda sleeping here then. It’ll be fine, I’m hoping she at least remembers some of this. Like maybe she’ll be all angry, but deep inside, she liked snuggling with me.” You say.
Applebloom began to ponder on that, then nodded to agree with you. “Well, she was the one who pulled you in to snuggle with in the first place. You know my sister can be stubborn too, but if she was in Chrysalis’s horseshoes, she’d probably do exactly what ya think Chrysalis would do. About the whole snuggling thing, ah mean.”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m not even gonna bother leaving. Better for her to appreciate the company then just leave her here to sleep on the ground on her own. Anyway, er, about the meetup tomorrow, are you and the girls really good to go for that? Like, meeting up at the old castle in the forest?” You ask Applebloom.
“Of course, part of being crusaders isn’t just about helping others get their cutie marks, it’s also about making all kinds of new friends. So yeah, you can count on us to be there. Er, but, Anon.” Suddenly, a spark of worry began to fill Applebloom’s head. “Er, about you and Chrysalis right now. Is she still drunk? Cuz, well, what if she wakes up and thinks you’re Thorax, and tries to end you or something?” Applebloom asked as she approached Chrysalis’s face. She noted she was out like a light, but without knowing what being drunk truly feels like, was afraid Chrysalis would just wake up and be as scary as she was when she actually took the drink.
“No worries about that, Applebloom. She’s just going to wake up with a hangover.” You tell her
“A hangover? What’s that?” Applebloom asked as she tilted her head
“She’ll be herself again, but with a really bad headache.” You explain to her.
“Oh, but doesn’t that mean she’s just gonna be all mean anyway?” Applebloom asked, being a rather inquisitive sort.
You twitched at that. She probably would be mean… Maybe even toss you out while you yourself were sleeping, or maybe just kick you… Or something... Kicking would be bad. “Er, it’ll be fine, Applebloom, Promise. Look, you're right, it's getting late, so I'll send you home myself.” And with that, and despite Applebloom’s worry, you send her home using the last charge you had. You then just lay there, on the floor, cuddled by Chrysalis. Well, at least you were going to get an early rest, despite it being uncomfortable on the floor.
The day passed, indeed, though you had found yourself unable to sleep for a while in Chrysalis’s drunken grasp, her unmoving form and hour after hour of boredom had finally tuckered you out. It wasn’t too bad, at least you were being nuzzled by Chrysalis, even if she didn’t realize it.
Though, what you didn’t expect was the sudden noise of birds, and the shifting and gentle howls of the forest. Hell, what really spooked you was the sudden slamming of a door. “Gyah! Oof!” You yelped as you jumped forward and slammed your face on a large stone. You sniffed, and began to rub your nose as you groaned. “Dammit, what the fuck was… Huh?” Your ears perked up when you realized you were outside. Looking back, you could see Chrysalis’s front door. Did she kick you out? ‘Kick’ being the operative word, given you didn’t wake up to being thrown. “The hell?” How did you end up outside without waking up to a face full of dirt and a swift magical blast to the rear? You could have swo- What the?
You look down at the door to see a plate of food. Pancakes with butter and syrup, and a glass of juice. Chrysalis? Did she make breakfast for you? She… Just like back in the other Equestria. Just in case, you sniff the pancakes and lean your head in for a bite. Huh, tastes good, and was warm too, did Chrysalis open the door to leave this out for you? She must have had the ingredients sitting around when you upgraded her entire home. But why did she make breakfast for you? Unless… “Woah, maybe… Maybe she did remember. Chrysalis? Hey!” You rush to knock on the door, but before your hoof can even connect, Chrysalis begins to speak to you, coldly, through the door.
“I knew it, of course you’d attempt to knock on my door. I make you breakfast and expect you to leave me be and you STILL have to… Ugh, my head.” You could hear it, Chrysalis slumping on the ground. “Before you say anything or worry about me, this has nothing to do with what possibly couldn’t have happened yesterday. Headaches are normal, even among changelings. Now eat your breakfast and leave me be…”
Oh shit, seems she didn’t get too far from the door after she just closed it. But why did she make you breakfast? What was the real reason? Hell, it made you want to reveal she did get drunk just to see if you could get some more truth out of her at the despite the eruption of anger that would occur. But if this is progress, then, well, best not to agitate her. “Well, then thank you, Chrysalis, for breakfast.”
“You’re we-” But suddenly there is a stop, then a growl “Stop being annoying! I need peace and quiet! Ugh, this is how they treat queens these days? No matter the circumstances, I should be treated with love and respect from the dimwits below me… Ngh, forget it. Why do I try? He never gets it, and yet I continue with him anyway. Oh, good job, Chrysalis, you made him breakfast, it only nearly cost you your skull with that pan crackling that stupid noise.” You could hear her walk away as she ranted. In truth, it made you smile, that little slip showed that she had some humanity in her heart… Er, ponanity...pone… whatever…
You eat breakfast, munching down on the pancakes and slurping up the syrup before chugging down your cup of juice. With a wipe of your muzzle, you let out a refreshed sigh as you leave the plate and cup by the door. This was it, real progress. It had been awhile since she did something selflessly. She didn’t have to make you breakfast. And ok, sure, she kicked you out, but she still went through the trouble of gently putting you down and making you a nice meal. Though, then again, kicking you out painfully would have killed you. Whatever, she still didn't need to make you breakfast. Maybe she actually came to an understanding, or maybe she actually remembered what transpired. Either way, you just had to keep up the kindness and you were golden. And not just that either, just be a brother to her, it… It should work, right?
You look up through the trees of the forest, and realize that the Everfree actually looked really beautiful in the morning rays of the sun. the twisting trees looked inviting, the sounds pleasant, grass swaying in the wind. You could tell today was going to be a good day. You slap your horn on your head, yawn, and open a portal to the old castle of the two sisters. “Heh, I don’t even think they told me when this whole party thing was actually starting. Then again, it looks like it's still morning, so I’ll probably be early. Still, I don’t have much else to do so I might as well see Cozy’s setu-” Cozy Glow…. No, Anon, get it out of your mind. At this point, there is no way Chrysalis is working with the Storm Ravager, he would have come up by now. And Cozy? The apples are a coincidence, they had to be. She was too good and pure to get tangled up with him. “Let me just… I’m just gonna see how she has things set up. That’s it, nothing more.” Don’t do it, Anon. You already had a bunch of things you had to deal with already, like having to see Celestia still to deal with Neighsay.
However, despite opening a portal, your actual knowledge and memory of the place wasn’t exactly set in stone. Upon entering the portal, you end up in the interior of the old throne room, the portal itself opening through the ceiling.
“So, what you’re saying is you and your family grow apples and stuff, and sell it all at low prices, and you guys still live comfortably? How many ponies actually buy apples?” Gallus asked, sitting by a long long table with snacks, sandwiches, and large bottles of apple juice. In front of him was Applebloom, who seemed to be discussing business matters with him.
“Well, lots of ponies buy our apples. Ya see, if you have the prices set all low like, then not only are ya sellin’ lots of apples, but yer also making sure everypony can have delicious apple products to eat. Everycreature wins!” Applebloom explains to him cheerfully, before suddenly tilting her head in confusion. “Don’t griffons grow stuff?”
“I mean, other than resentment, no.” Gallus shrugged. “Griffonstone isn’t exactly Ponyville. Or more like, it isn’t even close. Most stores will try to take you for all your bits, and even then, they don’t make much. I guess ponies got everything figured out, huh? Bet this info would be useful back home.”
“Ah bet it would! Ah bet if you became a farm griffon, you’d be able to make bits on yer own and make everycreature in griffonstone happy!” Applebloom said with a cheer.
“Uhhhhh, probably not. But…” Gallus smirks at Applebloom and shrugs. “I’ll just pretend it’d work out. Gotta keep a positive attitude, at least that’s what Professor Pinkie says. Speaking of, kinda weird Cozy didn’t want to involve her in setting up this whole thing, considering it’s supposed to be a party.”
Applebloom shrugs. “Well, she did say it was a friend makin’ party, all of us brought together by Anon. Which, ah guess is sorta true, since we all know him.” Applebloom said, not really thinking too much on the oddity of not involving Pinkie.
“Yeah, speaking of, where is he anyway? I mean, I know we forgot to tell him when this started, but it’s gonna be noon in like an hour. Did he just not want to come or something?” Gallus asked.
“Oh… Er.” Applebloom gulped at that, knowing full well where you might be, and guessing that maybe, just maybe, it didn’t go as well or as smoothly as both you and her hoped. “Well, er, you know Anon, he’s always being all random and stuff. No worries, ahm sure he’ll drop by soon!”
And almost like it was on cue, you pop out through the other side of the portal, and fall from the ceiling and down on your face, landing between Applebloom and Gallus. Applebloom jumps back in fright, but Gallus just takes his drink, sips, then looks to Applebloom. “Well, you weren’t kidding. Then again, I’m not surprised, he seems to do this a lot.”
“Ugh… What happened? Ngh.” You get up slowly, rubbing your nose as you let out a few snorts. “Ugh, how was my aim so off and… Applebloom? Gallus? WHAT?!” Oh no “You can’t be serious, I’m late?! How am I late?! It’s still morning!”
“Not by much.” Gallus shrugged. “Anon, did you seriously sleep through the morning? Did you stay up all night or something?”
“No! I slept early! Oh, never mind. What did I even miss? And ooohhh, chips!” You grab one of the many bags that were sitting down on the table, rip one open with your teeth, and start to dig in.
“...And just forgets everything and everycreature for snacks.” Even the usually stoic Gallus was perturbed by your mannerisms.
“That’s Anon. Er…” Applebloom, already used to your usual shenanigans, suddenly felt the urge to ask you about Chrysalis. But then again, she couldn’t say anything in front of Gallus, and so she quickly shifted her thoughts to something else. “Yer friends are really nice. Been talkin’ to Gallus and learnin’ all about Griffonstone. And it sounds… Um.”
“Don’t even hold back, it’s a dump.” Gallus shrugged while raising his talons to his beak. “Yo, guys, Anon is here!”
“You guys were waiting for me?” You asked “Erm, sorry. I really didn’t mean to keep you guys waiASDFDSFAS”
“Anon!” You suddenly feel a gentle yet warming and exciting hug coming from behind you. Oh yes, the gentle feathery hug of your biggest fan, Silverstream. Oh yeah, such fuzzy feelings within you, her hugs were always welcome. “Hey! You finally made it! Yay! Now everycreature is here!”
Smolder entered next, Sweetie Belle following behind her. “See, that’s what I mean. The professors, other mares, er, me. Does Anon always react like that? Even though, you know, he has a marefriend.”
“Yeah, I think Anon is just cursed. Like, you’d think he was desperate, but he has Diamond Tiara. And then you’d think he’d be all sleazy, but he really is loyal to her. So what else could it be but a curse?” Sweetie Belle asked, your apparent blush visible to everyone.
Smolder began to tap under her chin as she really put some thought into it. “That kind of makes sense, I guess. Never heard of a pony just falling for everycreature before. Or anycreature falling for everycreature before really. I guess it’s a chaos thing.”
As Smolder and Sweetie Belle approach you, they give you their own greeting. And er, realizing your position, their glares, and the fact of what things looked like. You ended your snuggle with Silverstream and backed off with a squirrely grin, greeting everyone.
The room began to fill as everyone else from around the castle gathered. Sandbar and Yona entering together, talking about their personal lives. Scootaloo with Ocellus were soon after, Scootaloo was actually regaling Ocellus with her stories of Rainbow Dashes feats, which seemed to entertain the changeling. Finally, the last to enter the room, from the main hall, was Cozy Glow, sporting a cheerful grin as she would usually have during her better moments. “Anon! You’re here! I was almost afraid you weren’t going to show. I’m so so so happy to have you here, to have all of you here!” Cozy said as she hovered up and began to hug at the air.
“Hey, I may be late, but I wasn’t going to miss this for anything in the world. Just sort of surprised you guys are this excited to see me.” You said.
“Well, it’s more like Cozy has been really wanting to show us this super special surprise she has somewhere in this place. I didn’t really mind, I’ve been telling everycreature about Rainbow Dash! Erm, even though you all have her as her professor and all.” Scootaloo said, getting a little sheepish on her realization.
“Oh, Scootaloo, that’s alright. We don’t know all too much about Professor Rainbow Dash’s work as an element anyway. All her adventures sound so amazing!” Occelus said, genuinely enamored by the stories.
“Yona can actually agree to that. Yaks have many great adventures, but Yaks never make moon monsters good or beat evil kings of darkness. Yona very impressed.” Yona said with a nod.
“Speaking of impressive, this place is huge! Me and Yona were exploring as much as we can and we didn’t even find the basement yet. And everything is so cool! The armor still looks tough, even if it’s dusty. And some of the old books here are not only still readable, but have some pretty interesting stories to them.” Sandbar added, enamored by the old castle.
“Yeah, and its got this spookiness to it I like. Just afraid to blow a flame in here though, there’s so much dust that I’m afraid I’d make the whole place catch fire just by blowing a puff in a cloud of it.” Smolder said as she sat at the table.
“Sounds like you guys have already been having fun and getting to know each other without me.” You said with a half hearted laugh. “That’s fine. Erm, actually…” You couldn’t come up with anything to talk about to be honest. Your mind was still muddled with what transpired yesterday, along with your eventual meeting with Neighsay. “Uh, well. Erm, well…” You look to Silverstream. Welp, it was as good a time as ever. “I guess I could talk about my adventures. If anycreature is interested.”
Silverstream immediately dropped her elbows onto the table and stared at you as she rested her chin on her talons. “Talk! And don’t stop! Ever! I wanna know everything!”
“Erm, actually. Now that Anon is here, I was thinking we could play a super fun game that everycreature would love! In fact, it’s part of my super secret surprise I want to share with everycreature.” Cozy hovered over to you and have you a gentle hug, nuzzling onto you. “Especially to my bestest fwiend, Anon!”
“A game? Ehhhhh, I dunno.” Gallus said. “It’s not because I’m scared or anything. It’s just this place is kind of too old to be playing a game in, could crumble on us or something. And yeah, we all got here ok, but if we play outside, we’re probably gonna attract some attention, the kind we don’t want.”
“Yona not afraid. All friends are here, so forest thingies won’t mess with us.” Yona said as she stood tall.
“Oh, well, we would be playing here.” Cozy said as she hovered in front of everyone and began to spin a little. “Actually, the entire castle is where we would be playing. Erm, except the basement. And we wouldn’t be moving around a lot, so it’d be safe. In fact, only Anon would be moving around.”
Wut? ”What kind of game is that?” You ask.
“Oh, she’s talkin’ about hide and seek. Ah used to play that with Big Mac and Applejack when we were younger. Ain’t we all a bit too old for that game?” Applebloom asked. She didn’t mean to be rude about it, but it caused Cozy Glow to frown and slowly float down anyway.
“O-oh. I’m sowwy, I-I didn’t want anycreature to feel like we were going to play a baby game… I just wanted to have fun with all my friends.” Cozy said, shaken, saddened in her tone as her eyes began to water.
Oh fuck that shit! “Yo, You ain’t ever too young for a fun game of hide and seek! And besides, this castle is huge! I think it’d be a pretty fun challenge looking for all of you in this place. In fact, yeah, I’ll be the seeker, I gotta train my detective skills anyway.”
“Oh! I was already willing to play! But to try to match skills with the great hero colt, Anon?!” Silverstream began to prance around as she giggled. “I’d love love love to try! Even if I lose! At least it’ll mean Anon really is the seeking master!”
Sweetie Belle just looked to Silverstream and shook her head a bit, with a bit of an eye roll. “Yeah… But, I wouldn’t mind playing anyway. It could be fun! I already have an idea on where to hide.”
“Hah! I’m super ready for this. As Anon’s partner, I pretty much know every place he’s gonna look. I got this for sure!” Scootaloo exclaimed as she was gave you a sly grin. Oh yeah, she was already ready to win.
“Oh, erm, I guess I shouldn’t use my powers then, that would be cheating. I think it would be, anyway. But Hide and Seek does sound very fun. I think I remember a few of the old changeling strategies for hiding, so I think I’ll do alright.” Ocellus said.
“W-wow, s-so you all really want to play?” Cozy said, as her eyes began to shine, her expression becoming brighter.
“Yeah, ok, why not? Just don’t be surprised if I win this one. Griffons are hunters for a reason, we’re great hiders.” Gallus said, actually showing some competitive energy and spirit as he already begins to look around the room.
“Don’t be too sure, Gallus. Me and my siblings play all the time, I’m practically a master!” Sandbar said, getting excited already for the challenge.
“Then it’s settled! I guess I can start counting from here on this table. But, er, Cozy. You said there was a surprise? During the game itself? How does that work? Am I supposed to be looking for something else too?” Oooh, maybe a super awesome present? Well, probably not awesome. But for her? You’ll act like it is
“Mhmm! It’s on the lower floor of the castle! But you can’t go there yet, not until you find me first!” Cozy said with a childish giggle. “If you can find me, then I’ll show it to you.”
“Ah, like a bonus then.” You say with a soft chuckle. “Sure, why not? Just don’t be surprised if I find you first.”
“Oooooooh! Now I wanna know what the super secret special surprise is! Can I take a peek, pleeeeeeease!” Silverstream asked, practically bouncing with curiosity.
“Oh, no no no no!” Cozy said as she flew over to Silverstream, shaking her head. “Nocreature can see it until Anon sees it first! It’s the most amazing surprise ever! But it’s also a gift I want to give to him, to show what a big big hero he has really been! Silverstream, golly, if you went and looked at what was down in the the lower floor, you’d be all super surprised and might want to tell everycreature! But you can’t do that, even though, to me, it really does show what a super amazing hero Anon is.”
“Really show how super amazing a hero he is?” Silverstream practically had stars in her eyes. “Is it that amazing?”
Cozy simply nodded.
“Oooooohhhhhhhh, mmmmmmmmm… Ok. I-I won’t look.” Silverstream said, as she looked down in disappointment, internally frustrated she couldn’t even peek at the surprise.
“Thank you sooo much for understanding, Silverstream. I know it must be hard, given how super heroey my surprise is, but pwease, don’t peek, okies?” Cozy said, wanting reaffirmation on Silverstream’s conviction.
Silverstream shook, gulped, and then slowly nodded. “Okies.”
“Yay! Now, come on, everycreature! Let’s go hide.” Cozy cheered out.
“Heh, well, you guys better really hide! Because I’m really that good!” You yell out as they rush.
Smolder then turns around and shouts back. “Then don’t use your horn!”
Dammit! Ok, whatever, you didn’t need it anyway. “Y-yeah... Ok, gonna count now.”
Super special secret surprise? Heh, how could you ever suspect Cozy after all this? Truly the friendliest filly you’ll ever meet. Er, next to Diamond.
Hide n’ Seek, now that you had time to think about it, how the hell did you actually get roped into playing this? No, of course, you just followed along because Cozy is cute and wanted to play a game. Your mind muddled by all this doom and gloom, and now you have to try to uplift yourself in a childish game. Whatever, at least you get to sharpen your detective skills. Hell, if you’re quick, Silverstream will probably be even more impressed with you, meaning more feathery cuddles. Then there was that super secret surprise. The hell could that be? For some reason, it felt ominous, but you couldn’t tell why. Maybe it was just the castle, or the thoughts of the Storm Ravager. Either way, you find yourself lost in thought as you enter a wide hallway, adorned with dusty old tapestry and mostly rusty suits of armor set on both sides of the hallway in a line.
Actually, suits of armors, in a game of hide and seek. Welp, this is too obvious. Wanting to take the guesswork out of it, you simply go to the end of the hall and knock over the suit of armor on the right, causing a domino effect that causes suits of armor to fall upon themselves. yelps of surprise are heard as you see… Sandbar and Scootaloo? Two? Wut? Scootaloo was in an armor farther back than Sandbar, but, why were they both hiding here at all? “Sandbar? Scoots?”
“Gyah!” Sandbar yelped as he slipped out of the armor and onto his belly. “Woah! What?! How did you manage to hear me? I was super quiet!”
“Y-yeah, Anon. Wait, how did you know I was here too? Darn it! It was supposed to be the perfect hiding spot! You’d find Sandbar and then think nopony else was hiding in the armor! So how did you know?!” Scootaloo said as she quickly stood up and stomped over to you, annoyed that she could be found so easily.
You shrug. Geez, maybe she had a right to be upset, but come on! “I-I mean, I didn’t know who was in the armor. I just know everypony likes to hide in them, so… Y’know, I just knocked em over to find out who was hiding in them. Didn’t even know both of you were here. Come on, Scoots, haven’t you hung around me enough to figure out obvious tropes like that?”
“Tropes?” Scootaloo asked, confused, until she also realized you didn’t even know she was in the armor. “Wait… So everypony thinks everypony else just hides in suits of armor? I mean, what if they don’t fit?”
You shrug again. “Then they don’t fit. But I knew some of you did, soooo, y’know, why not check?”
“Yeah, no, that makes sense. Wow, didn’t even think it’d be that obvious though. No wonder you’re the hero colt, you pretty much got everything figured out.” Sandbar said, impressed with your deductive reasoning.
“I mean, yeah.” recognition of talent, you gotta love it. “Gotta figure out all the tricks if you’re gonna go face to face with a villain.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Scootaloo says with a defeated sigh, then gives you a bit of a stink eye, before finally smirking. “I mean, you’re cool, Anon. But just remember Rainbow Dash is just a little cooler.”
As if she couldn’t stop reminding you. “I know, I know. Welp, let me see if I can’t find everycreature else, seeya guys later.” And with that, you ventured deeper into the halls of the old castle. These halls, they were damned huge, and you had to wonder if anyone hiding from you had ended up getting lost themselves or hitting some sort of secret door. Then there was the second floor. Like damn, you got lucky with the suits of armor, but there was so much to explore, you may end up actually losing if you don’t try to figure out where the others might hide.
After some walking around, you end up in an old library, with shelves lined with old books. You had to wonder if they were all legible at this point, as you weren’t quite sure when this castle was abandoned for the one in Canterlot. You raise an ear to try to hear any deep breathing or movement, but there was nothing. “Yona? Smolder? Sweetie Belle?” No response. Cozy was the smallest out of all of them, so maybe if you… “Aha! No. HA! Darnit! Hmmm.” You thought maybe she’d be hiding behind the books on the shelves, but every time you moved some loose books, you found nothing. Perhaps the room was just empty.
Then again, you could always just be a cheap asshole. If someone was hiding here, there was an underhanded way of drawing them out. “Wow, this place is so darn dusty. I wonder what would happen if I used my horn to light a fire.” You say in a nonchalant manner.
“Anon! Are you crazy!” Sweetie Belle calls out as she stumbles out from behind some books on the higher parts of a bookcase, in a place you had no way of reaching. She herself falls on her head, and lets out a yelp as she holds onto it. “Agh! That hurts!”
“I mean, maybe for you.” Haha, seems that little trick worked. “Almost got me, Sweetie Belle. But you couldn’t hide forever.”
“Couldn’t hide for-What?!” Sweetie Belle suddenly springs into position as she looks at you with heavy surprise. “You t-tricked me?! You weren’t going to burn this place down?!”
“No. Wow, Sweetie Belle, you fell for the oldest trick in the book. Looks like you lose.” You say with a dominant snicker.
“That’s not fair! You tricked me!” Sweetie Belle repeats, defiant of her loss.
“Did I? I only said I’d wonder what would happen, not that I was gonna do it.” Another one down. And how good that the one took down was Sweetie Belle.
She raised her hoof, then nearly gave a goofy look as she realized you were right. “A-a-er. I-I guess that’s true.” Then she began to smack at her forehead when she came to the conclusion she made a dumb move. “Darn it! And I was in such a good hiding spot too! How could I be so dumb?!”
“Relax, Sweetie Belle, it’s just a game.” You say, acting mature, but really just wanting to rub it in as subtly as possible. “Just remember that next time, when somepony says something outlandish like that, they probably are just doing it to flush you or anypony else out.”
“I guess. Well, next time, I’m not falling for it!” Sweetie Belle said as she passed by you, staring at you hard, as if to seem like she was going to give more of a challenge next time.
“Yeah, next time.” You whisper to yourself, rolling your eyes the moment she leaves the room. “Literally beating a bunch of children here on this one.” You say to yourself as you make your exit, looking back at Sweetie as she heads back towards the throne room. “Hmmm, that surprise Cozy was talking about.” You say as you begin to wander down this train of thought, letting yourself be lead to an archway that seems to lead down to a spiral staircase downwards. Something, even with Cozy’s obvious innocence, was nagging you to take a look.
“I could take a peek, but…” You wanted to check, you felt like it would just be good to make sure everything was fine. But you also didn’t want to break Cozy’s trust. Or even worse, make her upset with most of your friends present. It wouldn’t be a good look for you. Probably would just be best to find everyone else for now.
But where to look? You had a ton of the first floor left, and god knows what was on the second floor. Smolder seemed the type who would just find a really good high spot and hide there, same with Gallus. Yona however, she shakes the floor wherever she runs or stomps, and yet you couldn’t get a sense of her position at all.
Gallus, Applebloom, Ocellus, Silverstream… Dammit, where could any of them be? You leave the spiral staircase for now and go looking for another big room to search in. And yet here posed the next problem; what was the time limit? Surely you couldn’t just spend all your time looking for everyone. “Dammit, how am I going to find everyone in time?” You say to yourself as you take a turn on a hallway, and notice paintings, old paintings, all staring back at you. “Huh…” Yeah, what was the possibility of someone hiding behind one of these? You know one of them has to have a hidden compartment of some kind, but which one?
“Anon? There you are.” Said a familiar voice, catching you off guard and making you jump in fright. Given the castle’s already spooky atmosphere, even expecting someone to be following you was a scary thought. “Woah! Woah! Hold on, it’s me!”
You look back, shocked, taking a breath before calming down. It was... Smolder? Shit, you tense up, relax, and try to act cool. “Smolder? Oh, uh, hi? Er, what happened to hiding?”
Smolder shrugged “I was hiding behind one of the old thrones. When you didn’t bother to check them, I sort of figured you were never going to find me and decided to give you a freebie. Noticed you found some of the others though, how’d you manage that but not find me?”
Er… “Um, I guess I didn’t think anyone was going to hide in the same room I was starting in, given how huge this place is. But really? The throne? Let’s say I did decide to check those first, why even hide there?”
Smolder shrugged “Dunno, I think maybe I knew you weren’t going to check there, because it would be pretty dumb for anycreature to hide there. Do they call that reverse logic or something? I dunno, but I’ll just consider this a personal win and use this time to ask you this question, been kinda bothering me all day.”
A question? “What is it? The question, I mean.”
“You and Cozy, don’t you think your friendship with her is a little weird?” Smolder asked. Why did she even think that? That was a random ass question.
“In what sense?” You ask, until you suddenly let out a groan. “Wait, don’t tell me, you’re gonna just mention how she’s a girl and stuff, right?”
“Actually, no. It’s more like it’s just a little weird. Did you know she’s been hanging around Silverstream a lot?” Smolder asked.
“Er, no? I’m usually doing a million different things. Is there a problem with that?” You ask
“Look, I’ll just put it this way. Cozy seems to know a lot of things about you, stuff I thought you only told me, Ocellus, the crusaders, and the professors and the princesses too. But that isn’t even the weirdest thing. Like, I get it if you told her some stuff, But then she’s been telling Silverstream stuff like ‘Anon has a lot of secrets he doesn’t tell anycreature else.’ or ‘Did you know Anon keeps a creepy changeling outside his window?’. But then Silverstream told me that Cozy told her about the fact you’re from another dimension. I told her that probably wasn’t true, but then Ocellus confirmed it. Only thing she didn’t mention was your whole thing with that bug queen. But she knows anyway, doesn’t she? She has to if she somehow knows about you having some changeling outside your window. What’s up with that anyway? Ocellus said it was her former captain or something, but then I thought that was Applebloom’s friend.” Smolder explained.
And then, oh god, you began to turn white. “W-well, did Ocellus tell her about the captain? I-I mean, just to let you know, he kinda lives in my basement now, since he isn’t crazy evil anymore.” You don’t remember telling Cozy about Jimmy, or as he was before, the X-Captain. And the fact that information was starting to spread was more than alarming.
“Pretty sure she didn’t, she seemed pretty surprised when I brought it up to her. She thought it was weird you’d tell anycreature at all about that. I thought it was weird you didn’t since you’re pretty open about her old queen, but apparently this former captain guy had a ton of screws loose.” Smolder, as she walked with you, noticed you stop as you began to turn ghostly white. “Anon? You alright?”
Cozy…
Your brain was working quick, and yet crashing at the same time. Was this a trap? Holy shit, a secluded spot, everyone in said spot, the lower floor holding a secret surprise? But then, why? Why them? Why you? What did Cozy have against any of you? Was she related to the Storm Ravager? No, he hates ponies… So…
It didn’t matter, you were sure you had things figured out, and so you began to double back towards the spiral staircase downwards. Smolder calls back to you, and begins to glide behind you, confused as to what you were doing. “Anon, are you ok? What’s up? Wait, are you going downstairs now? Isn’t it supposed to be a surprise?”
You stop at the start of the stairs. “Smolder, I need you to do me a favor.” You tell her as you look down the staircase, noticing that there was a faint shimmer of torch light coming from the walls.
“A favor? What?! Ok, now you’re really acting weird. Look, I dunno if what I said was wrong or bad or anything, but you're acting really off. Cut it out, ok?” Smolder said, crossing her arms as she gave you a stern look.
But the look you shot back at her, the deadly serious stare, it seemed to spook her just a bit. “Smolder, look, whatever is down there, it’s dangerous. I think I know what the surprise is, and if I’m right, I need you to find everycreature for me and get out of here.”
“Anon? Wha…” At first, she felt the dread, but then she shook her head and looked at you as if you were crazy. “You gotta be joking. Are you serious?”
“Smolder, I’m more serious than I ever have been before. Please…” You asked her, practically were willing to beg at this point. Did she not believe you? No, of course not, why would she?
She then gave you a gentle punch on the head, scoffed at you, grabbed a torch from the wall, and blew a small flame to light it up. “Yeah, I’m not doing that. Everycreature will be ok if we go deal with this now.”
“We?” Wut?! “What do you mean ‘we’? Look, I have insane chaotic magic, I can handle this on my own. Do you not remember what I did to your brother?”
Smolder shrugged as she carried on anyway, forcing you to follow behind. “Eh, Garble has been beaten lots of times. He acts tough, but he’s actually pretty gentle and nice deep down. Me, though? I’m tough, and if you’re that serious about something down there willing to hurt our friends, then I’m not gonna let you do it alone. Although, why would Cozy be behind whatever got you freaked out? Wouldn’t that make her evil or something?”
You were silent for a moment, thinking. Did it? Dammit, it pro- “Gyah!” Suddenly, you and Smolder nearly trip over when you both hear the screams of two familiar voices coming from the bottom of the spiral staircase.
“Silverstream?! And was that Cozy too?! What in the… Darn it! We’re coming!” Smolder looks back at you with urgency, grabs you, and begins to flap her wings as she zooms downwards, gripping you tight . “Geez! You were right! C’mon, c’mon! We’re already this close, we gotta get down there now!”
“W-waahh! Hold on! Woah!” But she just charged downward in flight anyway. Why was Silverstream down there?! Why did she scream now?! And Cozy too?! Why was she screaming?! You had no doubt in your mind now, it had to be the Storm Ravager. But then…
Dammit, what was going on?!
When Smolder and you reached the bottom, you both stood within a dimly lit and dank hallway, moldy, with tattered banners, webs littering the walls. But what shocked you the most were…. The baskets, there were baskets down here, same as in the forest, littering the ground. Smolder let you go to personally look around, as she found a few feathers belonging to Silverstream on the floor. “Anon! Silverstream… She was, she was here? What was she doing down here? What happened?!”
You gulped, fearing the worst. Did Cozy and the Sto- Oh no, nononno! What was that?! “Smolder, bring the torch over here.”
Smolder walked closer to where you were pointing, and when she raised the torch, you could see the visage of a young filly on the ground, against the wall, a broken torch beside here. She was barely breathing, bruised, and even as you approached, her forehead, it had… Blood? “Cozy Glow?”
It was her… It was her, why was it her?! As you stood in shock, trying to figure things out, Smolder rushed to Cozy’s side, immediately wiping the blood as she held Cozy carefully, asking if she was ok, begging her to tell her what happened.
Cozy coughed, she was awake but weak, her wings, her body, she was injured. She just looked towards you as her eyes became watery, and what she said filled your heart with the worst dread you ever felt. “S-sorry, Anon, I-I only tried to be like you…”
There you were, goggles on, the Storm Ravager’s footprints leading deeper and deeper into the forest. You were a colt on a mission; rescue Silverstream. Rescue her because, well, this was all your fault. You couldn’t get it out of your head, how all of this was your mistake…
[Flashback]
“Cozy. Cozy, why?! Why him? How did you even meet the guy?!” You said frantically, pacing up and down as Smolder held Cozy gently, wiping the blood from her forehead with a torn part of a banner.
“Anon! Calm down! Something messed up happened here, and you’re acting like it's Cozy’s fault. We have more important problems here, like what happened to Silverstream.” Smolder said, scolding you as she looked to Cozy with gentle eyes. “Cozy, it’s gonna be ok, alright? What did you mean by the Storm King? And you trying to be like Anon? Did the Storm King take Silverstream? Like, the same Storm King that Anon beat?”
Cozy slowly nodded as she began to whimper. “M-mhmm, i-it’s him. Golly, I-I don’t know what happened, honest. I-I spent a lot of time with him, learning about him, and we became such good fwiends. T-the surprise, it was supposed to be him being all good and nice and friendly… But he used me, he used me… I did a bad thing.” Cozy began to break up, and cried, hiding her face on Smolder’s chest.
Wut? That can’t be right. “Woah, woah. But how did you even find him, Cozy? That’s the part that gets me. Because, yeah, I fought him again, and I beat him!”
“Yeah… After you apparently kept him around as some sort of pet. Shouldn’t you have locked him up somewhere safe? We all thought he got turned to stone and broken into little pieces, that’s what Silverstream told us anyway.” Smolder said, looking at you with skepticism.
“Guh, look! I’m a being of chaos, I do chaotic things, and considering what that guy did, I felt he deserved a punishment befitting his crime, ok?” You retorted.
“Yeah, and what about the bug queen?” Smolder asked, but this time, Cozy intervened for you.
“D-don’t be mad at Anon, pwease? H-he might be right. Chrysalis, she’s shown she can be good, she’s saved Anon’s life. But that mean ole Storm King, I thought he was good, but… But… There really wasn’t any good in him. He said such horrible things, he hurt me, and he took our friend. I-I don’t think Chrysalis ever did those kinds of things when she's with Anon, s-so, pwease, don’t be mad at him. And, Anon, pwease don’t be mad at me too. I-I really am sorry, I was just… Looking for a friend and…” Cozy tried to weakly reach for something, but fumbled it on her hooves, and dropped the compass, the compass you gave her, on the floor.
[End Flashback]
No…
No…
It was your fault. As you continued following the tracks, you could only pray that Silverstream was ok. You fucked up big time, and Tempest was right all along, you should have made sure the Storm Ravager was dead and gone, and you shouldn’t have played god. For now, under Cozy’s suggestion, this would be a secret between you, her, and Smolder. Cozy didn’t want this getting out and ruining your reputation. You didn’t know how that would go for Silverstream, given she’s at the center of it all, but that wasn’t important. How could the compass do this? How could you? You fucked up the magic again, you gave Cozy a cursed compass in the worst way imaginable. It made sense though, the Storm Ravager would be her best friend by telling her everything she wanted to hear… Until he got what he wanted. That bastard, he was going to pay.
“I’m coming, Silverstream, I promise I’ll save you.” You call out into the empty expanse of the forest and you hurry your pace. You used your last charge to get your gear and these specs, to follow the Storm Ravager’s tracks. With that, that was your second charge of the day, but you weren’t worried. For something like this? Against him? If something went wrong and you used your codec, Discord would come running. The specs themselves, they had a special property, loaded with a dimensional ooze that not only showed the Storm King’s tracks, but could use its ‘battery’ to shoot open a rift in dimensions. You didn’t care where it went, only that you’d be sending that asshole inside of it.
You had your Starlight Hook equipped as well, in case any beasty tried to make you its lunch on your trek. As it seemed, the Storm Ravager was making a good pace, running deeper and deeper into the forest. But as long as you had these goggles, you could follow him towards the end of Equestria. Actually, fuck this, you stop and put a hoof to your ear, calling Discord on the codec. “Discord, Discord, I need you, like, right now.”
“You mean you want something from me, Anon. And unless it’s adding a little more life to that party, then I’m not interested.” Discord said, in his usual arrogantly bored manner.
“Discord, this is serious. The Storm Ravager is alive! He took one of my friends. I’m hot on his trail, but I’ve used both my charges for the day. Please, just give me a refill so I can deal with this.” You were being dead serious, even he had to understand that.
“Hm, but you already seem to have some dimensional magic flowing around you. Instead of me helping you, why don’t you just impress me and deal with him with what you have now?” Discord asks.
“Dammit, Discord! This is serious! This is someone’s life on the line! I don’t… I don’t know what he is packing, and unless you’re coming with me, which I can already tell you aren’t, then I just want a bit of back up. Please, Discord, this is the guy who nearly killed Fluttershy, remember? You gotta give me something.” You pleaded. Who knows how powerful this guy was. And you had to admit to yourself, without Discord’s little madness spell, you needed something to even the playfield.
Discord sighed. “Fine, fine, I will give you one extra charge simply because you bring up a good point. But still, if he was going to be that much trouble, then I would have sensed him by now.” You hear a snap over the codec, as your horn glows for a moment. “Really, I somehow doubt you’ll need it. But if you do, then make sure it at least doesn’t go to waste. Nothing simple, just make sure whatever you do with it is convoluted and maddening, understand?”
Thank god, you let out a relieved sigh. “Yeah, I will. Discord, thanks, you really are saving my ass here.”
“I know. And I trust this won’t reach the ears of anypony, correct? Or do I have to clean up after you too? Wait, does anypony know about this already? Wait, you said he had a captive, didn’t you? Anon, how are you going to keep this quiet?! If Twilight finds out about this, then she's going to tell Fluttershy and Cel--” Discord suddenly was taking things seriously the moment he realized how bad the situation was. But you interrupt him, to try to assure him you understood his fears and had it handled.
“I’m working on it. Some of my other friends who know what’s going on already agreed that anypony else knowing would be bad. As for the friend I’m rescuing? No problem, she pretty much worships me as a god.” You explain to him.
“Wait, he took dear little Diamond? And you didn’t tell me? Hold on, I’m pretty sure I’ve been stockpiling some horrific chaotic items in my closet. No one messes with my future daughter-in-law that you better make sure you marry or else.” Discord said as you could already hear him rummaging through something.
“Uh no, he took my friend Silverstream.” You tell him.
“Oh… Then I don’t care then. But don’t screw up, Anon. Consider this a lesson in chaos that you best not fail.” He warns, his tone becoming a little dark and scary.
“H-hey, I got it under control. One charge is all I’m gonna need.” You say with an unsure gulp.
“It better. Call me when you’re done, I want to know the details.” And with that, he ends the call.
Dammit. Fucking hell, you can’t screw this up! You moron, how could you fuck up the damned compass? It just really did it, it led her straight to him, all because she was desperate and he was manipulative. You relied on chaos magic for friendship, regular pony friendship, and you fucked up.
You continued to follow the footprints as closely as you could. Two shots, one with the goggles, with your horn as emergency. If all else fails, grapple with the Starlight hook. Starlight, you kind of wished she was here right now. Doing this alone, knowing what could entail, what could happen, you wished she was by your side to tell you it’d be ok. She’d probably handle the situa- Well, ok, she wouldn’t, she’d panic too. Fucking dammit.
And that’s when you heard something, a snap, a movement of vines rustling around you. “Agh, dammit!” You look around and could see you had wandered near some hidden plant that may want you for a snack. Looking back down at the tracks, you could see they were all over the place in this area, the Storm Ravager must have either had some trouble or knew there was something dangerous here in the first place and managed to avoid it. “Nuts to this shit.” You quickly aim your hoof towards the tree tops and wait for the obvious tell of the vines trying to grab you. Once they shook and shot forward, you jumped straight up and shot the hook onto a branch. “Ha!” Easy! As the hook tightens on the branch, you flick the switch to allow yourself to be pulled towards the branch. However, as your luck is usually as predictable as your knowledge, the branch snaps as the line retracts towards it, sending you rocketing forward through the forest until you slam head first into solid stone. “Gyah! Fuck!” You yell out as you fall down onto the ground with a face plant.
“Ugh, dammit.” You say as you slowly sit up and rub the dirt off your face, rubbing the best you could until you noticed something felt smashed up. “Shit! The goggles! Dammit, dammit!” You looked through them and noticed most of the lens on the goggles, while they worked, was shattered. In fact, it seems it was your lucky day as the stone you hit was more like a wall, with a cave entrance on the side, with the footprints heading in. The problem was, as you went to inspect the goggles, you could see they were starting to dim as the rift goo flowed out and turned to vapor. When you took one more look through them, you noticed the prints were no longer visible. Which also meant the rift magic was gone. “Of fucking course.” You groan to yourself as you remove the goggles and toss them aside, only to pop your horn on your head. “Whatever, I don't need it. Come on, Anon, It’s go time.” You tell yourself, taking a deep breath. It was time to face the Storm Ravager once again.
You slowly head inside, ears slowly turning left and right as you do your best to listen for any indication of life. The cave itself wasn’t too dark, oddly enough, alit with glowing mushrooms that were growing along the walls. The path was wide, and had very little twists and turns to it. If there was going to be an ambush, you’d see it coming.
As you ventured ever further into the cave, you began to notice shimmering light along the cave walls, as if there was water nearby. And then, that’s when you heard him, the Storm Ravager. Was he talking to Silverstream? Or to himself? And why did he sound worried? You could have sworn he was up to no good, and yet… No, you had to get closer. You slow your pace, keeping your breathing soft, as you finally reach the end of the tunnel. You enter a grotto, alit with mushrooms, a bright blue expanse covering the walls of this circular garden of light. In the center was a pool of water, above it was a cage, holding a scared Silverstream, or more like terrified, as she shook in fear and huddled herself into a ball. Above that was a chain that held the cage, all the way up to the cave ceiling. The chain seemed to be connected to some sort of device, as it went back down to the edge of the pool, to a mechanical lever. Was it to dip the cage into the pool? Yeah, doy, probably, why else would it exist.
But then you looked further, and there he was, the Storm… Ravager? He was back to normal, or, really, he was worse than that. He really did lose his arm back in the forest, and all the chaos powers he had with it. He looked weaker than before as well, skinnier, and a bit hunched. This is what he became? Holy shit, he was a fucking joke now, no wonder he was using Cozy Glow. You slowly slip closer and hide behind a large stone, and listen in to whatever he was talking about.
“You both just had to scream, didn’t you? You just had to come downstairs, didn’t you? Do you know what you just cost me? Ugh, why am I even bothering? You’re not listening at all, you’re just huddled there, afraid of me. Don’t get me wrong, that is something I always want to go for, but not now, not at this moment! Grr, that little! I was this close to getting it all back, all of it!” The Storm Ravager rambled as he paced left and right, stopping to tap the lever before looking back at Silverstream. “Can you cut that out? Seriously, I need you to be just a little bit less scared so you can scream the whole ‘do what he wants’ stuff. I get it, I’m the scariest thing you ever seen, yeah, I know. But once your pony princess and her friends show up, I need them to at least consider giving me a ride out of here instead of sending me straight to that Tartarus place. Ok, I see, you’re just not getting it. That’s fine, the whole ‘I’ll send her into a watery grave’ thing should work just as good.”
Wut? Watery grave? Was he not aware of what Silverstream could do? She still had her little stone thing. Then again, if he knew about seaponies, he probably would have subjugated them back when he was in power. But then, also, why did he want out of Equestria? Didn’t he have a big evil plan? What was he so close to getting back?
“That rotten Anon kid.” The Storm Ravager growled as he looked at his left arm, then turned his head to where his right arm should be. “He ruined everything. Oh, he’s gonna get his.”
Silverstream’s ear perked up as she suddenly looked to the Storm Ravager with a scowl. “Anon? The hero colt? You can’t beat him! He’s the strongest there is, that’s why he beat you!”
The Storm Ravager looked at her with a contemptuous look, causing Silverstream’s ears to droop as she recoiled back into huddling into a ball. But then he chuckled, and sighed. “Right, I guess that’s the truth now, isn’t it? The hero colt, the vanquisher of me. Sure, whatever, he can have that victory, I really don’t care anymore. But do you know what’s funny? Do you know what’s really hilarious?” He asks her, but when she doesn’t respond… “HEY! I’M TALKING TO YOU!”
Silverstream breaks into tears as she whimpers out a “w-what’s h-h-hilarious?”
“Glad you asked.” The Storm Ravager says with a calm smile before turning to face away from her, throwing his arm up as he jovially steps forward. “You’re all doomed anyway! I’m not, of course, that’s why I need to get out of here. But you guys, yeah, you’re soooooo done. I mean, I would have done it, that’s what I was planning to do, the whole backstab thing, you know? But I didn’t, or rather, couldn’t, and I ain’t getting another crack at it. So, yeah, I need a blimp ticket outta here.”
Doomed? From what? Was he trying to get Cozy to do something for him? Was there something in the castle he needed? But then, the whole backstab thing? He had to mean Cozy, but why did it sound like she herself was planning something? Also, why was he expecting Twilight? Wasn’t he aware you were in the castle? You continue to watch him, observing him, trying to figure him out.
“Well, it’s probably gonna be awhile. Not like I can’t wait or anything like that. I mean, who am I kidding? I am getting a kick watching you be absolutely terrified of me, it’s funny, really. So, I’m just gonna kick back, relax, and wait for our dumb little princess to arrive. And I don’t have to tell you to try anything funny, do I? Nah, drowning isn’t really fun for anyone, cept' when you’re watching it happen. Hah!” The Storm Ravager said as he kicked a flat square stone towards a larger stone and sat on it, reclining on it like it was a seat.
Welp, time to make your appearance. Not like it was going to be tough or anything. You just have to make sure to end him this time. Hm, and with Silverstream there, maybe something heroic, if a bit cheesy, will raise her spirits. You step out from behind the rock with a grin, and call out to the Storm Ravager. “Sorry, Storm Ravager, your flight has been canceled.”
Silverstream’s ears perked up as she looked back, and immediately hopped up in happy surprise to see you. “Anon! Anon! Oh gosh! He’s here! Just like I knew he would! Amaaaaaaazing!”
“Anon? ANON?!” The Storm Ravager suddenly stood in horror as he looked directly at you, turning pale at your very presence. “W-what?! What are you doing here?! How did you even find me?!”
“Oh come on, that’s how you greet me? Where did all that snark go?” You say with a chuckle as you begin to walk around the pool, slowly approaching him.
The Storm Ravager looks towards the lever, jumps to it, and puts his hand on it, ready to pull. “Stay back! We both know I’m willing to do it.”
He can, and Silverstream will turn into a seapony. There was nothing to be afraid of. You take a few more steps, and then stop anyway. There was some info you needed to get out of him before you scared him shitless. “Tch, fine. But foalnapping? Aren’t you better than that?”
“Hey, if I had goons, they’d have done it for me. What are you even doing here anyway? How did you find out I was here?!” The Storm Ravager demanded an answer.
“I mean, I was at the castle.” You answer.
“You were at the…” The Storm Ravager’s eyes shrunk, as if he realized something. Then he growled, and stomped his foot. “Darnit! She knew!”
“Who knew? Cozy Glow? Of course she knew, she’s my friend, or didn’t you know that? Because I already figured out your game, pretending to be her friend while you feed her all this information about me. Did you plan to turn her against me or something? What was your plan anyway? What happened to your arm?” You questioned.
“Oh, ho ho, wow. If I could applaud you, Anon, I would right now, because I’m gonna tell you, we both just got played.” The Storm Ravager said, with an exasperated laugh.
“What? What do you mean by that? And don’t try lying to me, you know I won’t fall for it.” You ask him, ready to fry him the moment he tries anything.
“Come on, you have to have noticed I'm missing my staff, right? I became normal, just like that changeling freak. The staff, Anon, the staff! In fact, I’m willing to tell you everything I know if you guarantee me a nice little beachfront somewhere nice, somewhere that isn’t here. Sound like a deal?” The Storm Ravager offers as he extends his hand towards you.
You just look at his hand, roll your eyes, and look at him with a foul look. “Whatever. If the information is good, I may give you what you want. Just don’t think about pulling that lever.” You didn’t need him to pull it just yet. If he saw you weren’t worried about it, he may just try to flee.
“Anon, are you really making a deal with him?! But he’s pure evil! And he’s lying! Cozy Glow is totally a good filly!” Silverstream calls out to you from the cage.
“Your safety is my priority, Silverstream. Besides, I want to hear what he has to say. Better to listen to him than to risk your life.” You tell her, in a stern yet slightly heroic manner. If only to play it up and hope she listens to you.
“B-but, if he gets away, he’ll…” Silverstream gulps, so scared of not only the Storm Ravager, but what he might do if he escapes.
“It’ll be ok, I promise. Now then, start talking.” Here we go.
“Oh, I will, I’ll lay it all down like this. She has my staff, Anon. Do I have proof of it? Nah, I don’t, but I had it when I was dragging myself around, nearly lifeless, in that forest. And I still had it when I found a place to rest, inside a hollow of a tree. It was terrible out there, Anon. All those monsters just wanting a piece of me, I almost gave it to them. But I didn’t, they didn’t deserve a taste of me, even if I did lose an arm over it. Don’t fret, I had already lost it once I turned back into Storm King classic. That’s right, the Sto-” But you cut him off, he was wasting time.
“Just get to the point” You said, slamming your hoof down.
“Y-yeah, r-right. Heh, I can see that horn on your head is primed to go, so uh, yeah, let me just. Ok, look, the staff was gone when she appeared. She said she didn’t see it, and at first, I bought it. How could I not, right? She was willing to bring me food, water, whatever I needed. And I know it’s a shame to say it, but I believed it so much that the gears in my head already began to turn on how to use her. You know how it is, it's always the sweetest ones you can blindside the most. The fact she knew you was icing on the cake, since I was going with the whole ‘he isn’t who he seems’ angle. But then, I noticed something.” The Storm Ravager explained, as his expression began to become a little darker.
“What did you notice?” You asked, you were now curious. Could this really be true? Was Cozy pulling a fast one on him? On you?
“She started to become interested in the topic of chaos, and how it pertains to you and your lunatic of a ‘father’. I’m telling you, she was even writing things down, hanging on every word. I wasn’t going to argue, I thought it just made her like me more. But towards the end, I began to ask myself, why did she care so much about chaos? Why wasn’t she afraid of me at all? But most importantly, why didn’t anything I tell her about you seem to make her afraid or even hate you. You’re smart, Anon, I don’t have to tell you where I’m getting at.” He said as he gave you a smarmy little grin.
“Are you telling me you think she’s evil, and planning some sort of world domination, on a hunch? A hunch from you? Cripes, you really have lost it. If she had your staff, don’t you think someone would have noticed? She’s an innocent filly who only wants to make friends, and you betrayed her. And now you’re trying to get me to turn on her? You’re really trying to pull that one on me?” That's all he had? The staff, any forest creature could have taken it while he was out. “Do you know the only reason she found you was because of a compass I gave her? She was desperate for someone to like her as a friend, under any means. So of course it’d mean the compass would take her to you, someone who’d be her ‘friend’ instantly. The compass was made to take her to what she wanted most.”
“Oh, I knew about the compass. But that’s not why it led her to me. It led her to me because I had what she needed. All the information I had from being antagonized by a little snot by you, and the staff she plans to use with that information. And not only me, mind you. I think she’s getting the rest of her information from someone else, but I couldn’t tell you who.” He tells you.
“Ok, let’s say you aren’t lying about any of that. Why betray her instead of teaming up with her? If she was as evil as you’re implying, then why did she send me to help save Silverstream and stop you? She told me she was trying to reform you, like I’m trying to reform Chrysalis. And given how she looks up to me, your story isn’t holding a lot of water right now.” You explain to him, your horn slowly starting to glow. You were getting tired of his bullshit.
“Woah! Woah! Relax! Geez! Look, I admit, I was still playing the game myself, with the whole ‘surprised, I’m reformed’ deal. I thought maybe she hid the staff in the castle. She didn’t, and I got desperate. She has it, Anon, I swear to you she does. In fact, why don’t you call your ‘dad’ right now. He can sense chaos magic, right? Should be easy for him. And the moment he confirms it, you keep your end of the deal. Capiche?” He looked dead serious, sweating, as his hand began to tremble on the lever.
Hm, that could mean something, if the staff is indeed in her possession. You let out a low sigh, keeping your eyes locked to him as you bring your hoof to your ear. It took awhile, but Discord finally answered. “That was quicker than I expected. Please tell me you didn’t just zap him. That’s no fun at all.”
“No, I actually have him right here. He’s trying to tell me a friend of mine is evil, and has his staff.” You say.
“The Staff of Sacanas? The one he ended up warping with chaos? Hm, let me guess, he’s looking rather normal right now.” Discord says.
“Yeah, how did you know that?” You ask.
“Well, if I couldn’t detect him, and our dear X or XX or whatever, I’m not calling him Jimmy anymore, that’s just dumb. But, ahrm, the point is the staff most likely had absorbed the chaos from both him and the changeling. Yes, that has to be it. The Storm King, or whatever he calls himself now, must have become more staff than king when he faced off against you. He must have inadvertently taken all the chaos from the changeling when he fought you; and then the staff, with its wielder out of commission, just absorbed whatever chaos he had and became a, as its name implies, a staff. A staff, I must say, that must be much more powerful than it ever was before.”
That started to make you feel some dread. You took a deep breath, and asked him the question. “Ok, so, can you detect its location?”
“Pfft, of course I can. Now that I’m detecting a staff and not a living being, I should be able to adjust myself accordingly. It’s odd that it hasn’t emitted any magical force at all yet, you’d think somepony would be using it by now. But even then, the staff is pure chaos, it’s simply a matter of… Hm, no, I don’t detect it at all.” Discord said, rather calmly.
“What?! What do you mean you can’t detect it?!” What?! Shouldn’t he be able to?! It’s a fucking chaos staff!
“What?! He can’t?!” The Storm Ravager blurted out as he began to panic.
“Nope. Nooope. Nooooooooooooooooope. Can’t detect it. Well, that doesn’t surprise me either. The staff most likely collapsed on itself, in a time and space sense. I’m not exactly sure on the staff’s initial power, but for it to be able to hold that much chaos? Well, that’s simply preposterous. It not only absorbed their chaos, but it had to have gotten a lot just by being in our dimension. Trust me, Anon, if it was around, I’d be able to find it.” Discord explains to you.
So the Storm Ravager was lying. Because of course he was. “I knew it, you were j-” But before you could finish your sentence, he pulled the lever, Silverstream already yelling your name as she kerplunked into the pool. The Storm Ravager then begins to make a mad dash towards the exit of the cave. But, heh, you knew she’d be ok. So, without wasting time, you aim your horn towards the exit of the grotto, and open up a random dimensional rift, just like you planned with the goggles. But it was huge and all encompassing as it began to suck stuff into it. You could feel the air around you flow towards it, but for the Storm Ravager, he was already too close, and trying in vain to run back towards you.
“Kid! What are you doing?! You can’t do this to me! What about her!? I can tell, you wasted your last charge on me! Are you insane?!” The Storm Ravager screamed out as he jumped and began to hold onto a rock.
“Duh, chaos, remember?” You shout back to him. “You shouldn’t have lied to me, and you shouldn’t have pulled that lever. I don’t know where that portal goes, but wherever it’s going, well… Let’s just say it is out of Equestria, just as I promised.” That fucker, he nearly made you believe Cozy was evil.
“Kid! You got it all wrong! I swear to you, she’s up to something! Please! We can work together! She has to be hiding the staff in some way! I swear to you, it’s still around!” He shouts back before weeping. “I’m sorry, ok?! Please, I’ll do anything, just don’t let me get sucked in there. Anon, Anon, Please! We can stop her! I’ll be good! Anything! Just don’tGYAH! NOO! AHHHH!” You had enough. He hurt Cozy Glow, he captured Silverstream, and because of his actions, you now have to deal with Smolder, Silverstream, and Cozy knowing more than they should about you. You used your telekinesis from your used up horn to toss a stone at his face, making him lose his grip, and get sucked into the rift.
You just stare at the rift as it begins to close. That fucker, he’s gone now. “Eat shit and die…”
“Shit? Oh! Is that another weird word like Fuck? Or wait, didn’t Councilor Starlight say that was part of a nickname? I dunno, it seemed more like a word to me, just like that word, shit!” Said a voice.
GUH?!
You look towards the pool, to see Silverstream as a seapony, looking at you with a rather cute and slightly dopey smile. Did the cage hit the bottom and break? Gyah! Dammit! She heard you curse! Fuck!
“Silverstream, are you sure you’re ok? You didn’t get hurt at all when the cage went down into that water? Was that even normal water?” You asked as you began your trek out of the cave, Silverstream beside you. She looked fine, and of course, she was more than ecstatic that you came to her rescue.
“Anon, I am super ok! And like I said, the water was nice and cool. But not as cool as you! Wow, you were totally awesome!” She exclaimed as she jumped and hovered over you, twisting her head down to look at you directly, face to face. “Like, more than awesome! You were totally doing the opposite of what I was doing. When you came out from behind that rock, just… Wow! You weren’t scared one tiny bit! Like, at one point, I was starting to think maybe you were a little scared of the Storm King, but then I realized I was super dumb to think that! Because you totally TOTALLY weren’t scared! How, Anon, how were you not scared, like, at all?!”
You let out a light chuckle, enjoying the praise, and yet, knowing the guilt still bothered you deeply inside. “Well, you know, I already faced him before. And well, I mean, look at me, there was no way he was gonna beat me when I have power like this.” You say as you flick your horn. But then you sigh, and look towards Silverstream with concern. “Silverstream, I know you’re excited and all but.” Here we go. “It was my fault, y’know? I mean, my fault that you ended up captured, and that Cozy Glow got hurt.”
Silverstream tensed, her enthusiasm gone as she landed back onto the ground, looking at you with a sheepishly worried look. “W-well, erm, I-I know that. A-actually, Anon, I wanted to ask you about you keeping the Storm King prisoner. Did you really torture him? I know I don’t like him, and maybe he kinda deserved to be sealed away or something like that, but torturing doesn’t sound like something Headmare Twilight would have liked.”
You sigh. “Well, I mean, I didn’t really torture him. I just stuck him onto the butt of a mutant changeling and taunted him. I’ll be honest, I hated the guy, and I felt that was a more fitting punishment for everything he did, and everything he was planning to do. I still feel that way, that he deserved it. But I treated it too much like a game, and I let him get away. Even worse, I didn’t do enough to make sure he was gone after he escaped the chaos dimension, and it all led to this. And that’s where I screwed up.”
“A-Anon…” Silverstream stopped, not knowing what to say. It put her into deep thought. She understood how you felt, and on her end, she was actually glad it happened, if only because she got to see you work, and the fact you came to save her immediately after she was kidnapped. But then she thought of Cozy Glow, and got really worried, as she realized that the last time she saw her was when she got hit. “Erm, I don’t think it was that bad. At least, the whole prisoner thing. I-I think a lot of hippogriffs would have agreed with you on that, so er, it wasn’t that bad a decision. And Cozy Glow, she’s ok, right? The fact you came for me means she’s ok, right? Or else, you would have taken her to the hospital. Which I totally would have understood, by the way. I, uh…” She began to quiver, she suddenly just felt so awful over the whole thing. “Anon, you didn’t let this happen, right? Like, you didn't just not do anything about the Storm King getting away from you?”
“I think so, Smolder is taking care of her now. And no, I tried to make sure he was gone, but I just let it get out of hoof anyway, and like I said, that is totally my bad, and I don’t know how to make up for it. Silverstream, I really am sorry. I know you’re really into me as a hero, but you gotta be honest, do you really forgive me? Even after what happened?” You ask her, twitching from the weight of your guilt.
“Good, I’m glad she’s ok. But, Anon, of course I forgive you. You saw how the Storm King was acting, he was evil no matter what. He tricked you, just like he tricked Cozy. Not only that, but he was nuts! You heard him, he really thinks Cozy Glow has that staff he was talking about. But she never took it, she never even saw it.” Silverstream mentioned. “He made himself look like he was crazy and alone to get to Cozy Glow, just to get his revenge on you. In fact, I bet that cage was intended for Cozy Glow, so he could throw her in there and try to get his staff that way so he could fight you again. Cozy tried to play it off as some sort of trauma thing, she didn't know how much of a manipulator he could be, but he really is that, and he's totally crazy evil and she didn’t even know it. We both know everything he’s done before, so, y’know, it’s not your fault, even heroes aren’t perfect. I'm just glad the staff was really gone, because if Cozy did have it and he tried to get it, then things would be a lot worse.” She said, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. It wasn't too much, but she at least meant what she said.
“Thanks, Silverstream, really, that makes me f-” Waiiiiit. That’s right, there was a cage and lever and everything in there, when the fuck did he set that up? And Silverstream saying Cozy mentioned the staff, about the 'torture'? She really did mention everything to Silverstream, so what exactly did she know? And what did she mean about traumatized? “Silverstream, what exactly did Cozy tell you about the staff? Does that mean you knew about her trying to reform the Storm King?”
“Huh? Well, no. She said she had a friend she wanted everyone to meet, but thought meeting me first would help him settle his nerves. Cozy basically told me to never mention anything about a staff, because it would have made him totally upset. She told me it was a friend she met in the forest, that he was traumatized, that even when they first met, that he was screaming about a staff, and that she must have stolen it with some help from somecreature else. Well, since we know it was the Storm King all along, then we also know he really was crazy, and still just as evil, then we also know he was probably just lying about everything anyway. Wait, you don’t think he was telling the truth about Cozy, do you? Didn’t you say your dad couldn’t find the staff thingy everycreature was talking about?” Silverstream asked.
Huh, could that have been it all along? Was he just traumatized? Still somewhat crazy from his former transformation? Even Jimmy was still somewhat crazy, despite changing back. And if the staff was around, surely Discord would have detected it. It explains everything, it even explains the cage. Obviously he was delusional, he probably really thought Cozy had the staff, and planned to capture her and torture her at one point to find out where it was. Though, given how he mentioned that Silverstream screamed, he must have panicked and just took her instead to use as ransom. But then, why did he want to leave Equestria? Was he so delusional that Cozy was evil, and working with someone else, that he felt he had no choice but to run at that point? Well, even if you could ask him, the guy couldn’t be trusted. In any case, that seems to explain everything thus far, and clears Cozy of any wrongdoing. Thank christ. “Yeah, he couldn’t. I guess the Storm King was just being desperate. Whatever, he’s gone. I don’t know where I sent him, but he won’t be hurting anycreature ever again.”
“I hope not.” Silverstream said as she followed you out of the cave. She embraced the sunlight, shook and stretched herself, and smiled. “And there’s still plenty of time to enjoy the party too! Isn’t that great? We get to tell everycreature about how you beat the Storm King… Again!”
You winced at that. “Yeah. Er, Silverstream, about that. We should probably try to keep this a…” You stopped. More lies, on top of lies, with the worst thing being you’re just involving more people into it. You could hear Jimmy screaming at you, screaming to just tell the fucking truth, to just go with the trope and everything would be better. But how would it be better if everyone knew you fucked up this hard? “Silverstream, actually, how do you think everycreature would react if they knew this happened?”
Silverstream stopped to think about that, rubbing the bottom of her beak with a claw. “Uuuummmmm, wouldn’t they already know?”
“No, Cozy wanted to keep this all a secret. That’s why I’m asking what you think would happen if they knew. You know Gallus and Sandbar and the others more than I do, so I wanna know what you think.” Cozy wanting to keep this all a secret. Why do those words irk you even? It is obvious she wants to keep you safe, and yet, something seemed off. This whole situation just seemed a little too off and easily hand waved away with the explanation you were given. But what was it? Or maybe your mind was trying to get away from your own guilt. Truth be told, with the staff being gone, and apparently never being found in the first place, you had no reason to believe the Storm Ravager was telling the truth about anything. But that reaction, he just seemed so surprised by that fact. Was he really just delusional?
“I don’t really know. Cozy got hurt so they might be mad about that. But if she’s ok, then they might be alright about it, and erm. Well, Anon, we’re all your friends, right? If it’s one thing we learned from all our classes together, is that forgiveness is important in any friendship. So if I can forgive you, and Cozy can forgive you, then they can too! How does that sound?” She tells you with an ever enthusiastic smile as she swings her arm from one side to the other.
Huh, that didn’t sound bad at all. And given that it is Equestria, that sounds like the usual thing. You knew Scoots would forgive you too, and Sandbar seemed rather upbeat about things. Applebloom would, most likely, but you didn't know about Sweetie Belle. “Silverstream, you’re right. I don’t even know why I was worried. Thanks for that, really!” Yeah, why were you even worried? Hah, you felt like a million bucks. As you both exit the cave, you look into the bright open sky and take a deep breath, taking in that deliciously clean air.
“Great! See? If you were worried about us not forgiving you, then don’t worry about that! You’re the hero colt, and a great friend, and… Woah!” Silverstream noticed something on the outer cave wall. She dashed up to it, hovering around what she was looking at as she took it all in. “This hole! It looks just like your face! No wonder you were able to find me, Equestria itself was telling you where I was by taking on the form of the mighty hero colt! Anon!” Silverstream lands, then salutes to you with a serious face. “It is an honor to have been rescued by you, truly.” She then broke into a giggle. “Like, you’re totally cool.”
“Uhhhh… Yeah.” Welp, that's a tad demoralizing. Eh, whatever, she didn’t seem to notice WHY that hole was there, so, er, it is fine. You begin to rummage through your saddlebag for your cardboard wings. Once you found it, you slapped it on, and gave them a gentle flap. “Silverstream, we’re gonna be flying back to the old castle, ok? That alright with you?”
Silverstream nodded. “Of course! Are you going to show me some amazing flying maneuvers? Oh, I bet they are hard to do. I wonder if our military would be able to do them. Hmmmmmm.”
“Er, no, I just kinda wanna fly back because there’s a plant along the way I’d just rather not deal with.” You explain to her as you slowly began to hover. You had to take it easy, and get back into the feeling of flying, or else you just may end up crashing again. “There we go, there we go, nice and easy.”
Silverstream hovered upwards once again, spiraling upwards before hanging high up in mid air. “Yeah, that plant can’t catch us if we’re way up here. It almost snatched up the Storm King too, so I can only imagine if I tried avoiding it. I probably wouldn’t be able to do it at all. It was really scary really, I thought he was going to throw me into it.” Silverstream, in the mire of realizing her own fears, then turns to you and asks. “Anon, really, what is your secret? Your real secret. I know so much more about you now, but it’s like I still don’t know anything at all. Was everything from your dimension just scary? Like, a never-ending nightmare? Is that what it means to be ‘human’?”
That made you wince, and not just from the fact she knew you were once human, but the fact you yourself had forgotten some of the finer details of being human at this point. Sure, there are things that will never leave you. But you have no idea what is going on with current events right now, you can’t remember much about what was going on during the months before entering Equestria, and really, why would you? Life never really had that much going on anyway. You could remember your past before that, your childhood, your traumas. It’s just as life began to run together with mediocrity, it just didn’t become worth remembering. What did she even think about it all? You began to fly forward, maintaining your balance at a gentle pace, as you pondered on it some. “Before I answer, Silverstream, what do you even think about all that? I mean, the Storm King could have been lying to Cozy about all that.”
“I know, but if he was, you would have denied it by now, right? Wait, I’m not bringing up any bad memories, am I?!” Silverstream gasped as she suddenly became apologetic. “I’m so sorry if I am. When I said never-ending nightmare, I didn’t… Oh no, did I offend you? I… I didn’t mean to.”
“No, no, it’s not that. It’s nothing. And, yeah, my old life kinda prepped me to deal with guys like the Storm King. But if you want me to be completely honest, my fight with him, the original fight I mean, it didn’t quite go in my favor. He managed to beat me, then he even beat Twilight and Tempest and tried to blow Canterlot into dust. I was scared then, yeah, but I also was just like, in this depression, like I thought I got everyone finished because I did the wrong move. So I tried sacrificing myself to knock out his attack. I managed it, but then I nearly got my head crushed. Tempest Shadow, the Storm King’s former general, she was the one who landed the final blow, not me. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here right now. I didn’t manage to do everything by myself, I did have help. I even faced the Storm King again before this, he even gave himself a new name, and it's kinda how he ended up how he was now. I beat him so bad, I literally thought he turned into dust, or got eaten, or something. And facing him there and then? Yeah, the secret was that he was already weak at that point, he didn’t pose a threat. Silverstream, I really don’t deserve that statue in Mount Aris, I didn’t beat him by myself.” Wew, Anon, suddenly you really were on a truth streak. You didn’t know how to feel about it, other than some feeling of melancholic liberation.
“But you totally do! You still helped bring the Storm King down! We didn’t know Tempest got the final blow, but that doesn’t matter, because that makes you both heroes! Anon, you still were super important in helping defeat that evil monster! So, you know what? That, to me, still makes you the hero colt I always knew you were. Since the moment I heard about you from my cousin, I knew you were a true hero. And after seeing you handle the Storm King in that cave, I know you totally deserve that statue too.” Silverstream said as she looked back at you with a big uplifting smile.
“Thanks, Silverstream. Wow, you really know how to make a guy feel better.” She really does.
“Aww, you’re welcome, Anon. I love making others feel better! And look, there’s Headmare Twilight and Spike! I bet they're gonna need a lot of cheering up too!” Silverstream said as she began to wave.
WUT?!
You looked forward, towards the old castle. You could see everyone had been gathered at the entrance, even Scrappy was there, standing next to Applebloom. You could even see Cozy, her head bandaged up, standing within the group. Well, at least it meant her wounds weren’t that bad, since Twilight didn’t immediately rush her to the hospital. But the moment you both came into view, you could see Twilight’s head turn directly towards you.
Fuck…
When you both landed, Silverstream was already greeting everyone, ignorant of their glum faces. “Hey everycreature! Hey, Cozy Glow, yay! You look a lot better despite, erm, everycreature looking sad. Headmare Twilight, hi! W-wait, why do you look so angry?” Silverstream said as she grew increasingly nervous, huddling back a bit as she began to frown.
“I’m not angry with you Silverstream, in fact.” Twilight takes a moment to compose herself, then looks to Silverstream with a half hearted but sincere smile. “I want to know if you’re alright.”
“Oh, I’m ok. Erm, um…” Silverstream then realized who she was angry at. “But you’re angry at Anon, aren’t you?”
Twilight nods. “I’m very disappointed in him, yes. Angry, yeah, that too. Considering everything that’s happened here…” Twilight said as she looked over at Cozy, who ducked her head on reflex as she then looked back into your eyes, her brow furrowing. “He has a lot of explaining to do.”
“But! Everything is ok! If you’re mad about what happened with the Storm King, don’t be! I’m ok! And Cozy Glow is ok too, right?” Silverstream said, trying to appeal to Twilight’s mercy.
“She is, thankfully. And despite hers and your insistence that ‘everything is ok’, I can assure you everything is actually not ok. Endangering one’s life, using chaos magic in matters of friendship which caused another life to be endangered, keeping prisoners just so he can torture them, and that’s just some of what I know. He’s lucky Scrappy spotted you two coming, or else…” Twilight sighs. “I’d rather not have called my friends to search for you. He knows why.”
Fluttershy, her knowing it got this out of hand, and worrying her that much, ugh. Oh yeah, she had every reason to be upset. Twilight was livid, you could tell, even Spike was looking at you, arms crossed, shaking his head. “Twilight, look-”
But she cuts you off right there. “Anon, not here. Follow me inside. Everycreature else, stay here” She commands as she looks towards Spike. “Come on, Spike.”
But Silverstream tries to say something more, but Twilight cuts her off. It seems she wasn’t having it. You looked towards your friends, specifically Cozy Glow, and you could see she was actually crying, and then ducking her head into Smolder’s chest. Dammit, so much for keeping this a secret from Twilight. Discord is gonna kill you once you tell him what happened. The only thing you could do, and you hoped it worked, you hope Jimmy was really on to something with this, because you had to tell Twilight the truth. So you took a deep breath, and without a word, followed her inside.
It's over, isn't it?
Chapter 178 - Truth Telling Totals Twilight's Train of Thought
The library of the castle, of course Twilight would pull you in there.
Spike stood behind Twilight, as she paced silently forward and back. She hadn’t said anything to you since you all entered, and it was starting to unnerve you. You had a lot to think about already. You knew how this all happened, you knew most of it was your fault, and yet you also knew that for the most part, you were doing the right thing with some of the things you were accused of. And even then, enough of your friends knew about it, which meant the burden of guilt wasn't meant to be judged by Twilight. “Twilight, I know you’re upset, and-”
But she finally says something, shooting a sharp inquisitive look as she huffs. “I’m more than upset, Anon.” She begins to pace again as she rolls her eyes. “I thought, I really did think, that you were better than this. All the progress you have shown, your better understanding of friendship, all the new friends you were making. I had so much faith in you, and yet, nothing really changed, did it? More secrets, more lies? Do you understand what you could have caused?!”
God, this shit again. Just like with Starlight way back when. You weren’t some damn kid, and fucking dammit, you understood this time, you understood everything, She didn’t understand, and you really felt Luna was on to something in keeping the fact you had the Storm King lodged inside Jimmy a secret. The only ones who should judge you are your friends who were waiting outside. “I understand everything I could have caused, Twilight. I know what I did wrong, and I know to what extent. You may be the princess, and the headmare, but you’re treating me like I’m a criminal and a dumb kid at the same time. I already feel enough guilt as is, I don’t need this.”
“Do you really? You understand all the consequences of your actions? What you could have caused? Well, then enlighten me, Anon, I’m listening.” Twilight said as she plopped her ass down, staring at you with disbelief. Oh, she was waiting, waiting to tell you everything she felt, and to cast judgement on you.
“So, it’s like that, huh? Ok, first, regarding the changeling, or as you probably know him as right now, the X-Captain. Yeah, I kept him outside my window, and taunted him, but I didn’t outright torture him. I had to keep him there, the guy was a menace, he was dangerous and wanted to scorch Equestria with everypony in it. Now, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Why Chrysalis, but not her old captain? Doesn’t he deserve redemption? Same as her?’. Well, guess what, he didn’t, he was too dangerous to even be around, he tried to kill me every chance he got. But, and here’s the kicker, the chaos that was actually causing him to be insane has left him, and he’s pretty much a guest at the house. That’s right, he’s living inside the house, as a roommate. He’s still a bit crazy, but I can handle him. Now, as for the Storm King? I admit I messed up with him, I should have sealed him away or threw him into Tartarus. But Twilight, I really hated that guy’s guts. Maybe it was a pride thing, for what he did to me. Or maybe it was the fact he was willing to blast my aunt, no, Canterlot into smithereens, just because he could.” You took a moment to compose yourself, looking Twilight dead in the eyes. She seemed a little surprised, still silent, waiting for you to finish. She had to be waiting for something you possibly were going to miss… Possibly.
“The way he escaped, the things he did. I know what I could have caused. Silverstream and Cozy could have gotten hurt, or worse, maybe some of our other friends too. But beyond that, it could have spelled trouble for the school, the reputation of the elements, and even caused a war with the hippogriffs. You don’t think I thought about that? You don’t think I had that guilt hanging around my neck like a noose? Twilight, it’s not like I was like Discord and just didn’t give a crap. I nearly died myself having to fight the Storm King a second time when he somehow escaped where I put him. Afterwards, though, I did my very best to make sure he was gone. I investigated personally, with Lyra and Bon Bon, I’m sure you know them. I only found the Storm King’s arm and some old apples. Even before that, Starlight was loo-” And that’s when Twilight had her spaz moment.
“Wait” It was like it just clicked in her pissed off little head, with the mention of Lyra and Bon Bon somehow just skipping it entirely. “Starlight?! A-and Lyra and Bon Bon?! But, wait, Starlight?! Woah, woah, wait! There is no way that can be right! Starlight would have told me about something like that!”
“Yeah, no, we were all pretty sure you’d spaz the moment you did find out. Even Aunt Fluttershy was mostly calm about it, kinda. And-” And once again, she spazzed, even Spike was surprised.
“Woah, woah, even Fluttershy knew? And she didn’t say anything?! Twilight, I don’t know about this.” Spike said, as he seemed to become more unsure with the whole thing.
“What? What do you mean, Spike? Because I don’t even know what to think about this! Why wouldn’t my friends tell me about this?!” Twilight asked, stammering in her speech, her mane already starting to split out of place.
“...Also Princess Luna.” You let out as you just look up at the ceiling. Ooook, this was getting dicey.
“Also Princess Luna. Wait, WHAT?!” Twilight said, double taking for a moment before her frantic gaze locked onto you. “Are you kidding me?! You can’t be serious! You’re going to tell me Princess Luna knew and she didn’t do anything about it?!”
You shrug. “I mean, yeah? She actually agreed with my methods, for the most part. She told me how she and her sister, and even you, Twilight, don’t exactly have this whole ‘punishment’ thing for villains down to a science. Y’know, considering they usually escape, and come back for revenge, and stuff? Nopony wanted to tell you any of this because, well, look at you, you’re spazzing out, you practically want my head for what happened. Which is fine, I get it, but dammit, Twilight, I’m telling you the truth. I’m really sorry about what happened, that’s why I went to save Silverstream, on my own, the moment it happened. Look, even Discord tried to detect the Storm King, and wasn’t able to. So yeah, I take full responsibility for just writing it off, no matter how reliable my investigations were. Am I missing anything else, Twilight? Because, if I’m not, I’d like to hear from my friends. I want to know what they think, how they feel I should be handled. I did them wrong, Twilight, so I deserve whatever they decide.”
Spike just looked to Twilight, walked over to the stunned mare, and gave her back a quick rub. “Relax, Twilight, it is how it is. I was with you before, but if even Princess Luna knew? Well, y’know, kinda hard to be mad at him when she was encouraging him in the first place. On top of the fact that he pretty much hit the nail on the head about everything else. I got the latest issue of Power Ponies at the castle, and er, we could go read it and stuff, forget about all this and-” But Twilight began to speak, bringing her hoof slowly to Spike’s mouth to shut him up.
“So that’s it then? Everypony just didn’t want to say anything to me, because they thought I’d overreact?” Twilight said, in a much softer, defeated tone. Removing her hoof from Spike to let him speak.
“Well, I didn’t know, so, er, uh.” Spike shrugged with a fake smile “At least we were together on that, right?”
“Yeah…” Twilight then looked over at you, her eye twitching from the madness of it all. “And do you think I’m overreacting, Anon? Don’t stop being honest now, just tell me how you feel.”
“Honestly? Er…” God, she looked so off. You were somehow afraid she was going to attack or something. “Yeah? A little. But, uh, since I’m getting everything out in the open now. Er, welp, you remember the rumor about Neighsay’s spy?”
“Y-yes, but what-” But before Twilight could even really get a word in, Spike just blurts his own words out in utter astonishment.
“Woah! What?! Anon, you’re the spy?!” Spike yelled out as he pointed at you.
Twilight eye twitched at the accusation. But then, suddenly, as if she came to the realization she was acting nutty, she realized Spike just instantly blaming you sounded as crazy as she was being right now. “Spike, now that sounds crazy. And I should know, because I’m apparently crazy.”
“Twilight, he’s right. I’m the spy.” Oooooooh, ok, here we go.
“WHAT?! WHAAAAT?!” Twilight was so blown away that she actually fell back, nearly flying back, onto her side in utter surprise and panic. She suddenly took flight, zoomed over to you, and pointed at you as she yelled. “And you called me insane?! Anon, I know he isn’t a villain, but he is looking for any reason to shut the school down! Why would you work with him?! How did you even end up working for him?! I don’t… Why?!”
You gulped and stepped back. And yet, somehow, you felt like you were on top despite fearing Twilight’s brain cracking in two. Jimmy really was right, breaking the trope of lying and telling the truth… Damn, how, how could you just forget the tropes? How could you not counter what should be so easily beaten? Had you really become so complacent as a pony that you simply forgot that this world still seemingly follows said tropes due to how everyone is in Equestria? Fucking Jimmy, never in a million years did you think you’d have to be reminded of the human factor from a being that was never a human, and just decided to pretend to be one. “Because he offered me the job, with the payment being schooling opportunities for me and Diamond, among other things. And Twilight, you’re right, he is, or at least was, looking for a reason to shut down the school.”
“Was?” Spike said, confused for a moment. He began to rest his head on his claws as he scratched his forehead. “Was? Wait, Anon, have you been… Woah, a double agent, I thought those only existed in comics.”
“That’s right, Spike. Me and Starlight have been working together to make sure we can convince Neighsay to stop his crazy crusade with, and I can say this without hesitation, the truth. Although I shouldn’t really have told you guys. Because if he finds out Twilight knows, then he may find out everything else. He may even think that since Twilight knows, that I've been betraying him this entire time. But, to be honest, I kinda also needed to let you both be in the know because there’s sort of a new issue.” You then notice Twilight just hovering there, her expression unsettling as she almost seemed frozen in place. “Twilight, are you ok?”
“Ooooh, I’m just great. Seems like you and Starlight got everything handled. The fate of the school, and everypony in it, at the tip of a metaphorical cliff, and here I am, waaaaaaay down here, clueless about everything. And even after my own students were put in danger, I’m somehow wrong about how I approached things. Is there a princess of madness title I can take? Because everything is nothing right now.” Twilight said, in a horrible haze of miscalculations and skewed viewpoints.
“Give me a second, Anon.” Spike said as he walked under Twilight, gently pulled at her hanging tail to get her back to the ground, walked up in front of her, and grabbed her cheeks as he began to shake her. “Twilight, you gotta get a grip! Seriously, you’re starting to even freak me out! Relax, will ya?!”
“Huh, wha?! U-ugh…” Twilight pulled her head back, then began to rub under her horn with her hoof. “Ngh, I have such a headache. I… Ugh! How?! How did I lose my mind so easily?! Even worse, even Princess Luna saw it coming. Which means Princess Celestia probably didn’t tell me at all about anything because maybe…” Twilight looked towards you, then down at the ground, in shame. “Just like when I was angry with Starlight. I was just, angry. Finding out any of my students were in danger, I guess it clouded my judgement. I…” Twilight then looks over to Spike. “Spike, do you think I’m still fit to be the Princess of Friendship? I mean, everypony thin-” But Spike wasn’t even going to let her finish that sentence.
“Twilight, you gotta stop right now. You’re putting yourself down because of something I think you can fix. I mean, you yourself used to not like being around anypony at all, with your nose always in the books. Look at you now, you are the Princess of Friendship, and just because you overreact sometimes, doesn’t change all the good you’ve done! Just ask Anon! Just because you both butt heads a lot doesn’t mean he thinks you should stop being a princess either. We all believe in you, Twilight. Right, Anon?” Spike asks you as he looks to you for backup.
Ah, dammit, fine. All in all, despite it being stupid in the first place, you’d rather Twlight be hopeful and back to her old self than losing her fucking mind. “Yeah. There really isn’t anypony else for the job. There’s still a lot of ponies who need a princess like you, Twilight.”
“See? Come on, Twilight. You’re super logical, so you should know acting like this makes no sense. Please, Twilight, relax, I hate it when you get like this.” Spike pleaded.
“Spike…” Twilight began to grumble, then fell to her belly as she brought her forelegs over her head. “It’s just. I mean. Look, it’s just. I…” She sighed. “It just seems nopony is coming to me for help anymore, because I just make things worse. Even thinking about it, if I had known about Cozy just before this happened, then I’d be yelling at Anon about the compass. But then, why would I yell? Because I’m upset he cheated? Why? The reason he gave the compass to her was to help her, like a friend would do. Am I overreacting, Spike?”
Spike seemed a little nervous at this point. But he pulled himself together and tried to answer the best he could. “Yeah, but, well, you had a reason to overreact about the whole Storm King thing, that was some real dangerous stuff! But Anon already gets what he did wrong, and the situation itself was just really bad luck. And besides, it’s over now! Everycreature is ok and… Wait.” Spike looked back at you “Anon, what did you do with the Storm King?”
“Oh, uh, I pulled the old Starswirl maneuver and threw him into another dimension.” You answered.
“Woah, aside from the Pony of Shadows thing, I can’t think of anypony else coming back from another dimension. You really went hard on him, huh?” Spike asked.
“Well, yeah, he was a threat. Well, sort of, he was actually kind of pathetic this time. I don’t think I even needed my magic to beat him.” You say as you pondered on it a little.
“Hm? Pathetic?” Twilight raised her head. The last she remembered about the Storm King, he was a huge threat. “As in, weak? Are you saying he couldn’t touch you this time?”
You nod. “Yeah, he was back to his normal self. Well, maybe less than that. He was missing his arm, and he seemed a little malnourished. I think I could have beaten him with the regular magic Discord gave me.”
“So that’s what Cozy meant by him not looking scary.” Twilight said as she began to ponder to herself, thinking hard on the situation. “Then what about the staff? She said he was complaining about it, but she wouldn’t go further than that.” Twilight grimaced at her own words. “Mostly because I was yelling.” Twilight admitted as her ears folded. “She was too afraid to talk after that.”
“Oh, you heard about that too, huh? That’s the weird thing. We all saw him when he was fused with the staff back in Canterlot, and there was this time when he was like, super fused with it. But then when he ended up back in Equestria, he separated from it. Apparently, according to Discord, it absorbed all the chaos inside him and just… unfused. Then, as it turns out, the staff just disappeared. Apparently it collapsed on itself or something since Discord couldn’t detect it.” You say, repeating the information Discord told you.
“Discord couldn’t detect it? That’s weird. Even weirder, if the Storm King was as weak as you said, then what was he planning to do with Silverstream? Did he say anything about that? You know, before you sent him away.” You could tell Twilight wasn’t too keen on your method of disposing of the Storm King, but she didn’t seem to want to question it either. Did she think it was justifiable at this point? You couldn’t tell, but you could guess the reason she wasn't verbally upset about it was already due to others being on your side and keeping info away from her.
“That was the really weird thing. He wanted to use her as leverage to trade for a ride out of Equestria. In fact, something he told me irks me.” You say.
“What he told you? Anon, are you seriously going to be bothered by what that guy says? The guy is just some sleazy loser, isn’t he?” Spike asked, perplexed as to why you were irked.
“Well, it’s what he said about the staff. He said something about, get this, Cozy Glow being evil, taking his staff, and working with somepony else. It wouldn’t bother me that much if he was just lying about it, which he could have been. But it bothers me that he was so adamant about it. If it wasn’t for Discord, I may have actually thought Cozy was evil or something. In fact, I think he was being delusional, there was no way he wasn’t crazy from all that chaos exposure. He probably thought Cozy stole his staff simply because he couldn’t find it.” You explain.
“Cozy being evil? And working with somepony else?” Twilight furrowed her brow as she shook her head. “That monster, I don’t know if he was crazy, but I know he would have said anything to get his way. No wonder Cozy was so easily fooled by him, he must have been really convincing if he was able to even make you second guess yourself.”
“Well, Anon kinda always does that.” Spike said with a shrug, until suddenly he blinks while freezing in place, then points at you. “Er, but, I gotta admit, that kinda lie seems kind of specific. Anon, are you sure Discord never detected the staff?”
“Yeah. He was being difficult with helping me though, I kinda had to throw Aunt Fluttershy into it just to get him to help me at all.” You explain.
“Spike? Do you know something we don’t?” Twilight asked, worried as Spike seemed to think deeper and deeper.
“Uh huh… Hoo boy, Anon, I have a feeling Discord wasn’t exactly telling you the full truth either.” Spike said, as he began to rub the back of his head. “Yeeeah, I think it’s more than a feeling actually. I know you live with the guy, but I’ve seen him work his magic for a long while, especially in O&O, and him not detecting a staff made of chaos, like, at all? Yeah, that doesn’t add up.”
“I know what you’re saying, Spike. But that’s why I used Aunt Fluttershy, to make sure he told the truth.” You explain to him. You had that trope on your side, as he pretty much thought of you as family, and his care for Fluttershy was absolute.
“And he probably did. But, dude, seriously? You can’t force Discord to do anything and expect him to cover everything just because you used Fluttershy to convince him. He’s the spirit of chaos, so he had to sense the staff at some point.” Spike explained. “And don’t think I’m suspecting Cozy Glow or anything, I’m not. But what if the staff was around, right? And what if somepony took the staff from him? If Cozy showed up a little later, coincidentally of course, then he may have thought she was working with whoever tried taking his staff. It’s totally something that would happen in the Power Ponies comics. Make it look like one guy did it when really it was another guy… Or maybe the staff really did disappear. Either way, just saying, there is no way Discord never sensed the staff. That guy could sense magical anomalies from miles away.”
“I…” Oh good lord, did he really just not tell you the truth? Even after using Fluttershy to convince him, he still held information from you? “I could just contact him. I, er… Yeah, just give me a second.” But as you raise your hoof, a voice suddenly comes from high up on the library ceiling.
“No need, Anon, I’ve been eavesdropping ever since you made me lose a bet.” Discord said as he snarled, letting himself flow down like water between the three of you as he looked at you in disappointment. “Telling Twilight the truth, really? Knowing full well she could lose her mind and punish you in such horrid ways, you do it anyway. Well, I’m here to tell you that was not the way you should have done things. Especially since I had bet with that changeling that you would do things your usual way. An entire nightclub, Anon, down in the basement for him to enjoy. One, mind you, he already blacklisted me from.” Discord said with a childish whine. “Whhhheeeenn did everypony suddenly think I was uncool? Rubbish, I say, absolute rubbish judgement from all of you.”
“What?!” Twilight said with a gasp. “You made a bet on if Anon would tell me the truth?! And you bet against it?! Anon is your friend! You consider him family! Why would you bet against him doing the-” But Twilight stops herself as she rolls her eyes. “Nevermind, I somehow forgot that it’s you. Well, Discord, I am actually proud of Anon, despite everything that happened. Telling the truth is so much better than telling lies.”
“Tch, you were almost ready to send him to Tartarus. The real reason you’re ‘proud’ is because he made you look the fool. Which I admit, was amusing, but not exactly what I needed to win.” Discord said as he suddenly tossed a bunch of betting tickets at Twilight’s face. “Last time I follow the trends. Anyway, I heard a certain purple dragon was doubting my word. Spike, I thought we were friends, why would you doubt my word?”
Spike crossed his arms as he raised a single eyebrow at him. “Because being difficult is your shtick?”
“Poppycock! Anon, tell them being difficult is not my shtick.” Discord asked of you, fakely shocked at Spike’s accusation.
“Discord, I can’t believe it, you did lie to me, didn’t you? Even after all that, what the Storm King did to me, what he tried to do to Aunt Fluttershy. Actually, I should have believed it, I don’t know why I thought I could trust you.” You say, staring directly at him, shaking your head.
Discord recoiled from those words, and from your expression. “Anon, don’t say that, I would never lie about something so important.”
“Oh no, Discord.” Twilight groaned. “This is one of your ‘I didn’t tell the full truth’ things, isn’t it? You do know not telling the full truth, especially in moments like this, is almost the same as lying, right?”
“I’d say it’s not, since it’s still not lying. And who asked you, anyway? Stay on track, Twilight, the current subject is Anon going against the odds for all the wrong reasons.” Discord said as he turned to Twilight, sticking his tongue out at her.
“DISCORD!” All three of you yelled, all at once, directly at him.
Discord once again recoiled, and looked towards Spike with pained shock. “Et tu, Spike?”
“One, I dunno what that means. And two, Discord, come on, bro, Twilight has a point. Don’t you think Fluttershy would be proud to know Anon told the truth?” Spike asked, staring down Discord the best he could.
“Is everypony going to use Fluttershy against me now? How would you like it if I used Rarity against you, or Diamond Tiara against Anon, or… Hmm…” Discord stopped to think, then looked towards Twilight inquisitively. “I don’t know if threatening to burn a library is going too far or not. But given it’s you, perhaps having you read a letter with egregious spelling and grammatical errors should be enough to bend you to my whim.”
“Discord! Holy crap! I can’t with you, alright?! Do you know how serious this is?! Forget using Fluttershy against you, I’ll just go live with her and you can deal with Jimmy by yourself, how does that sound?!” You threatened, getting tired of his bullshit.
“Anon, don’t sink down to his level, you d- Wait, Jimmy? The changeling’s name is Jimmy? Isn’t that the same name as that evil human from that documentary?” Twilight asked. “Why would he have the same name as him?”
“He thought donning the name would earn him respect. Instead, he became a know-it-all ingrate with no appreciation for my home. He thinks he’s always right, when in reality, the world and everything in it has been so wrong that it doesn’t even seem to understand that I’m right. Hence the whole losing the bet thing.” Discord explained as he tried to shift the topic away from the staff.
“Discord, stop that! Just tell me the truth! Stop it, or I’m serious, I’ll… I’ll…” You lift the necklace bearing your horn off from you and hold it up. “I’ll stop caring about chaos. No, I’ll do worse, I’ll make sure to get the best grades in all my classes… And hang them on the refrigerator door.” Despite how silly that sounded, you were angry enough to do that, as you knew Discord would not be able to stand you embracing harmony and displaying Twilight’s superiority in his own home.
“Alright, alright!” Discord said as he nearly gagged from your words. “Just stop already, you needn’t go that far. Tch, who would have thought you were capable of that kind of evil.”
“Excuse me? What’s so evil about embracing harmony, Discord?” Twilight said, insulted Discord would treat her schooling like it was a bane.
“Personal experience, that’s all. Most every time I had to embrace it, it was always with a stone cold reception.” Discord said, before slapping his knee, cackling. “Get it? Because when you, well, what? Nothing? Oh come on, that was a joke at MY expense! Ugh, you’re all really serious about that staff, aren’t you? Ugh, very well, very well. Fine, allow me to tell you my side of things then.”
Chapter 179 - Discord's Reasoning and the Third Charge
“...So then, one could surmise that the Storm King appeared around here, in the Everfree Forest, along with the large shards of porcelain.” Discord said as he pointed at a floating map he produced, even circling the spot with a red marker.
“I can’t believe you nearly let Anon get slaughtered. If you knew they were fighting, why didn’t you do anything?” Twilight said, shooting a scolding look towards Discord.
“Ahrm, princess, that isn’t the point of this meeting.” Discord said as he calmly stood there, like some college professor.
“No, but I’m starting to see why I was so mistaken. Anon, I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t know things were like that.” Twilight looked over to you, seriously apologetic after hearing about your fight with the Storm Ravager.
“Yeah, well, that’s my ‘dad’. Either training me for chaos or using me as some sort of experiment.” You reply as let out a soft sigh. “This is the kind of stress I gotta deal with.”
“I can see. I can see now that Discord has seriously impacted some of your decisions, not to mention not clearing up issues when he had a chance. Discord, didn’t you learn anything from being betrayed by Tirek?” Twilight looked back at him, disgusted with his behavior. "You shouldn't play games with others' lives!"
“Excuse me?! Weren’t we all discussing the staff? I’m pretty sure that was the whole point of me telling the truth of the situation. Why is this all suddenly my fault?!” Discord asked, he seemed genuinely surprised.
“Dude, you basically let Anon get into a fight for his life, and then you didn’t even make sure the Storm King, or Ravager, or whatever was gone. Look, the point is, Anon may have smashed him with all that stuff, but he was literally not in the right mind to make sure it was all done. It sounds like, to me, the guy being irresponsible was you. And since you’re doing the whole ‘dad’ thing, not making sure that mess was cleaned up is totally your fault.” Spike explained as he pointed to Twilight. “Seriously, Discord, Twilight was going to lose her mind on Anon.”
“Which, I nearly did, not realizing that Anon is not you. I should have known better.” Twilight said, leaning her head down on her hoof, shaking her head from side to side. “Anon isn’t fully without blame, but the way I reacted was way way out of proportion to the point even the princesses predicted how I was going to react. Anon, I really am sorry. I hope you’ll continue attending your classes, and I promise to be more mindful of the situation, and not jump to conclusions.”
That’s all you could ask for. You just wanted Twilight to stop losing her shit whenever you did anything. Yes, ok, this time was a damned big deal. But, well, you already went through it with her so… “It’s fine, Twilight, you’re ok. But yeah, Discord, seriously. Then again, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you wouldn’t have made sure he wouldn’t have been a problem. Do you honestly understand how big of a headache this has been for me?! Geez, you do, don’t you?! Didn’t even bother to come back me up at all when Twilight was yelling at me, just because it's you.”
“So this is what is happening now? Everypony is suddenly just going to blame me for everything that has happened?” Discord said, annoyed, crossing his arms as he looked at all of you with an insulted expression.
“Yes” All three of you respond.
“Despite the fact that the imprisoning of the Storm King is Anon’s fault?” Discord said
“Dude, you were basically treating it all as a game. Even if you’re pretending to be Anon’s dad, you’re still like, super older than him anyway, you gotta show some responsibility.” Spike responded.
“What?! But I’m not actually his father! So what, now we want my whole ruse to actually mean something?! Since when?!” Discord growled, honestly surprised by Spike’s words.
“Since you’re the one who wanted to pull this ruse in the first place, Discord. Actually, no, Spike is right. As Anon’s friend, and somepony who should care about making sure Equestria doesn’t burn to the ground, you should have done something instead of letting it go on. Yes, you should have actually been a father right then and there, but instead you just decided to let things go on because you have to have your own immature kind of fun.” Twilight said, crossing her forehooves herself while giving him a hard stare.
Discord just narrowed his eyes towards Twilight, then looked towards you. “Do you have anything to say?”
“Yeah. Jimmy cracked your corn and he don’t care. Other than that, I agree with them. Especially on making a gamble on what I was gonna do instead of freaking backing me up. I would have blacklisted you if I had a nightclub, just saying.” You saying, just laying back, annoyed with him, but enjoying the backlash against him just a tad. “Now can we continue? What happened to the staff?”
“Now you hold on, I still haven’t asked him.” Discord said as he pointed to a clone of himself suddenly sitting next to you. “And what say you, handsome gentlecolt?”
“I agree with those three. Do you think Anon would have done any of that to you? Oh, and what of poor Fluttershy? How do you think she’d react knowing you could have prevented so much? Bad form, Discord, bad form.” The clone said, rubbing his paw along his talon to show shame towards Discord. Almost as if Discord himself was admitting his guilt, without admitting it at all.
Discord’s eyebrows nearly went aflame as he raised his talons and snapped the clone away. “No one appreciates anything I do, I swear, even if it is for the betterment of Anon’s chaos training. But fine, whatever.” Discord took out a pointing stick and slapped it on the map, showing the place where the staff was last ‘seen’ “As I was saying. The staff was here, in this spot. In fact, it was sitting there for quite some time. A few days I’d say.”
“Days?!” Both you and Twilight let out in synchronized spazzed surprise.
“Ew, now you’re really becoming more like her.” Discord said with a shudder.
“Because you said days! DAYS?! DAYS! IT WAS THERE FOR DAYS AND YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT THING CAN DO, RIGHT?!” Like holy fuck, how could he let that happen?!
“I’m perfectly aware. And take note, I said only a few days, maybe even less, I didn’t care to count the seconds. As for what it could do, I’d say about fifty percent of what I could do. In other words, hardly a threat.” Discord said nonchalantly, treating it as if you were overreacting.
“Hardly a threat?! You know what, I agree with Anon, because that kind of power nearly blew up Canterlot! You know that, Discord! How could you just let the staff sit around where anypony could grab it!” Twilight yelled out in surprise, demanding an answer.
Discord put his head on his paw and shook his head. “The ignorance from the both of you is almost mood uplifting. Yes, I said hardly a threat, because that is the truth. The staff had absorbed quite a bit of chaos, enough to become something utterly new. Interesting, to say the least, even if it’s beneath my notice. Either way, nocreature in Equestria would be able to wield its power without going insane and transforming from the chaos flowing into them from the staff. In other words, properly using the staff is impossible for chaos challenged beings.”
Your eye twitched from those words. How could he be so wrong?! “Excuse me?! The Storm King was using that staff just fine the first time. Not to mention when he became the Storm Ravager and became even MORE powerful! How is that not properly using it?! He seemed perfectly sane the entire time!”
Discord let out a chuckle as he rolled his eyes in amusement. “You know, I do feel better now that I realize I truly am the best at all things chaos, at all times, everytime. But yes, explanations are in order. Well, first of all, the Storm King, if I am correct, only had the power of your wings, correct? Barely a smidgen of my power, mixed with the power of three alicorn princesses, that can be quite a doozy indeed. And while it still caused him to transform, the corruption to his mind would have taken some time, and that’s assuming he could handle the paltry amount of chaos that was actually coursing through him. As for when he became the Storm Ravager, well, I shall repeat myself, he was more staff than anything else. Having been a part of Jimmy, the form he gained was granted to him by the staff as his own body laid dormant within it. Mix that with some gained chaos resistance and Jimmy taking the brunt of the mental effects when the chaos was drained from him and you have a seemingly sane minded Storm Ravager. Of course, that sanity would have only lasted so long. He was a novice at actually handling chaos, he had no true understanding of it, and therefore his sanity would have lasted a few days at most. In fact, separating from the staff after that ‘crushing’ defeat would have, or at least should have, fractured his mind. Fifty-fifty chance and all that.”
“Ok, but then, what about the staff?” Spike asked, wanting Discord to get to the most important part. “What happened to it?”
“I was just getting to that! Ugh, so impatient.” Discord said with a groan as he began to explain. “So, the staff. The Storm King mentioned that the little filly took his staff, and she was working with somepony else in the process. Well, let me tell you, that is impossible.”
“I mean, I know that.” You say, tense that you could be wrong, and hoping Discord’s explanation could put you at ease. “But why is it impossible?”
“Simple, because the staff released its power and then vanished when it was touched, taking the one who touched it with it. As I said, the staff disappeared, it collapsed on itself most likely. Even the best staff can’t hold on to chaos for long. Some poor sap must have touched it, probably around the time the Storm King was able to find the staff himself, and when that filly arrived. To me, the order of events must have followed. Storm King loses his staff and gets lost in the forest, looking for it in the terrible and delirious state he’s in. Meanwhile, some schmuck who was most likely taking a deep hike in the woods noticed the staff and decided to touch it. Coincidentally, the filly was there following with the compass you gave her, leading her to her first ‘friend’. While all that happening seems nonsensical, and I do like my nonsense, I know for a fact somepony touched that staff before I could no longer sense it. And given the filly is still here, and says she never saw the staff, then I’d say my theory is rather sound. Unless anypony has any objections.” Discord said, waiting for any objections.
“Seems kind of weird that would all go down that way, but I honestly can’t figure out any other way that could have happened.” Spike said as he thought about it.
“Me neither. Cozy even said she never saw the staff, nor did she seem to know anypony else who might have seen it.” Twilight notes.
But you have to give it a little more thought. The Storm King didn’t seem too out of his mind before you threw him into that rift. But if Discord is right, and the staff really did disappear, then it took whoever touched it with it. While that proves Cozy is innocent, you still found yourself in that tug of war with your mind. Like, what if that coincidence wasn’t a coincidence? What if Cozy was with this certain someone, she had them touch the staff to test it, things went bad… But then, that doesn’t make sense, the Storm King said she was still working with said person. But the compass led her to him. If the staff was there at all, who touched it and got vaporized with it? You knew Chrysalis had nothing to do with this either. Think, Anon, think! Discord could have missed something just due to him not caring, but, what? Or maybe he just knew all this time, and didn’t care at all. Which, then… “Ok, I can see how that could be a thing. I can’t really think of anything else that could have happened. And as Spike said, it could lead me to blaming Cozy Glow when that itself would be a trap. But then, why weren't you worried about someone successfully using the power of the staff. I mean, if they could.”
“Why would I be? In fact, I was hoping whoever did find it would have tried, I don’t know, something other than blowing up between realities.” Discord said as he put his arms behind his back and looked away from you all. “I have to admit, having that little spar with Anon made me feel like I needed a real fight. Somepony who might have at least been some kind of challenge when it comes to chaos. But alas, that didn’t work out for me either.” Discord then looked over to you all “But then again, it means you all don’t have to deal with it. So it all works out in the end.”
Wut? “Wait, are you telling me the real reason you didn’t say anything was because you wanted to flex your skills?! That’s why?!”
“Yes, that’s why. No offense to you, but if I was to use my full power, you wouldn’t last ten seconds. And you must remember, Anon, I like you, so I’d never to utterly destroy you. In fact, sometimes I wonder if I’m too lenient on you.” Discord said
Huh? “What do you mean by that?”
“The horn, Anon, and I don’t mean the amount of charges and whatnot. See, you have natural built in chaos resistance due to your humanity, we've gone over that before. Even further, your mastery in chaos has grown, as has that very resistance. But as we’ve seen before, resistance isn’t immunity, and you can and have been affected by the will of chaos. Though, I admit, sometimes that was me working my own spells into you. Anyway, my point is, the horn has always had a filter on it, to prevent most nasty ramifications of your usual misfortunes when you use chaos magic. But, I admit, had I let you deal with everything raw, you may be at at least a little more than half my level by now. But no, the filter doesn’t let you experience any of the harder negative effects chaos can have on one like you, which means you’d never come to be fully immune to it as quickly as you should. Anon, I really am surprised you never questioned it at all. In fact, I’m surprised you hadn’t noticed the chaos being filtered when Chryssi used the horn that one time on her former captain, she didn’t change at all nor lose her mind. That didn’t make you even wonder why nothing happened to her?” Discord explained.
What in the… “I thought she just knew how to handle it.”
“She did, sort of, given the magic she used was derived from human chaos, something she has some affinity to. But even then, unfiltered chaos, as you’ve seen, can have quite an effect on all those touched by it. For somepony like you, if the horn was unfiltered, you’d most likely retain your form, but have a few screw looses in the head. Don’t think of that as a bad thing, as lack of resistance and skill in chaos could cause much worse things. Indeed, with your current skill level, you may have actually been able to handle that staff and use mostly powerful chaos magic at your leisure without having a limit. Ah well, the horn is just as good, well better actually, since it uses my near full power. And again, at your current skill level, the only thing you need to worry about is when you overdo your spells. Ahrm, something I must admit to have had a few problems with myself when trying to use my power for good. But I don’t mention that as a failure on my part, I say that for Twilight, so she may understand that I do do good, even if she doesn’t acknowledge it.” Discord said, looking to Twilight with a smug but humble look.
“I know you try to do good sometimes, Discord. But this wasn’t one of those times. I’m trying very hard not to lose my temper with you, because I’m with Anon. your reasoning for not doing anything about it is insane. In fact, I should just tell Fluttershy, maybe she can get you to maybe not try something like that again.” Twilight said, grumbling, trying to hold in any more outbursts.
“Waaaaait, wait. Hold on, we needn’t go that far. I admitted everything to you, haven’t I? And let us not forget I already suffered some punishments, that being the loss of a wager and the blacklisting from a certain nightclub. Telling Fluttershy is a little excessive, don’t you think?” Discord said as he suddenly began to panic, folding like paper. “Look, let us be reasonable. We’re the only ones who know, so why make things more complicated?”
Twilight shakes her head at him. “Because you need to learn that you shouldn’t do things like this, Discord, you could have gotten everycreature hurt. Either you let me tell Fluttershy, or…” Twilight looks over to you, then nods. “You accept a punishment from Anon.”
“What?!” Both you and Discord let out
“What? Why not? I was originally going to punish you myself, but it’s obvious now that it would have been a mistake. But, given you wronged him, and he’s obviously more mature than you are, then really, he should be the ‘father’ of the situation and punish you. I’m sure Anon has something in mind that should work out. Right, Anon?” Twilight asked, looking at you, letting you take charge, feeling the maturity she has now seen from you is more than fitting for punishing Discord.
Hm… “I, er, do have something in mind. So, basically, I think the punishment is to just give me a full recharge on my horn, and a permanent third charge. How does that sound?”
“Anon, what?! That doesn’t sound like a proper punishment at all! That’s just selfish!” Twilight said as she found herself astonished by your words.
“Look, I know it sounds pretty selfish. And it is. But it’s still a punishment, simply because I now think Discord doesn’t want anypony matching, or perhaps surpassing, his skills, despite him ‘training’ me and wanting a 'challenge'. Giving me an extra charge will give him something to really think about, simply because if something like this happens again, he knows I myself can become more powerful from it. Call it, well, educational chaos. Everytime he screws up, it’s either we tell Aunt Fluttershy, or he gives me another charge.” Sounded pretty ok to you. Discord wanting a 'challenge'? Nah, he just wanted someone who might be close enough in his skill just so he could flex his powers and have an excuse to go full chaos mode.
“Anon, no. And that explanation? That sounds like blackma-WHA!” Suddenly, Twilight is interrupted as Discord picks her up and begins to shake her.
“Do you hear this madness?! He’s blackmailing me, Twilight! Me, his own adoptive father! The one who brought him here in the first place! You’re not going to allow this, are you?! No, what I say you should do is punish him as you intended, not tell Fluttershy about it at all, and make him do five million hours of community service so he can understand what being a hard working pony is like! Oh, you should also give him much more homework than you would the other students! He’s trying to manipulate you, can’t you see? Oh, and don’t forget tar and feathering! Just say the word, Twilight, and we can make sure he never acts like this again!” Discord says frantically, shaking her.
Wut? “What’s with the overreacting? What, you really don’t want to give me the third charge that much?”
“Not at your leisure! You are supposed to earn my favors naturally! Doing it this way may seem fine to you, but what is three charges today could be four charges tomorrow! I refuse to play that game.” Discord said as he turned his head to face you.
You just smirk right back at him. “Naturally? I dunno, that doesn’t sound very chaotic at all.”
Discord’s eye twitched in anger as he spun around and pointed Twilight at you. “Do you hear this blasphemy?! Accusing me of not being chaotic?! Twilight, you must give him the ultimate punishment! Forcing him to take part in a Hearth Warming Eve play!”
You were silent as you just looked upon Twilight, who was starting to turn red, her anger rising. And yet her voice, it was soft, and calm sounding. Not a good sign. “Discord, do you know what I’m going to do?”
“The things I told you to do?” Discord replied.
“No, I’m going to take you to a bar.” Twilight said in a harsh but low tone.
“Oh? Well, this has taken an unexpected turn. I hope I didn’t give the impression that I’d actually date you or anything of the sort.” Discord said, confused by her words, but also not wanting anything to do with her romantically.
“Oh, it wouldn’t be a date. More like I’d lock the door, with you and me inside, alone.” Twilight continued.
“Oh my, this is sounding very odd now. Do you think Spike should be hearing this?” Discord asked.
“Yes, he should, because then I’d get very close, and use every fiber of harmony in my body and soul to turn you into stone without the elements.” Twilight continued, her voice growing ever darker.
“...What?” Discord said, utterly confused.
“Yes, and then I’m going to get a chariot, and have you taken to the farthest reaches of Equestria, where I will personally beat you up a bit with a shovel before burying you for a thousand years or so.” Twilight said.
“Woah, Twilight, you’re kinda sounding scary there.” Spike replied, his ear fins folding as he hid behind an old dusty recliner.
Even Discord seemed surprised, and even a little timid about it. “I-I see. I would…” But then he realized something, and chuckled to himself. “Oh, I see, you’re making a reference to that human film. Adorable, but let us not forget, Twilight, that you’d then receive a letter about being made. And what would happen next as they lead you to your promotion? BAM!” Suddenly a sound of a gunshot rings out, causing you and Spike to duck, but only you and Spike, Twilight remained unmoving. “Darkness.”
But then Twilight looked to Discord, and whispered to him. “Discord, I’m already made, I’m the Princess of Friendship. And as Princess, I’ll allow Anon’s punishment, or we’ll just go tell Fluttershy, how about that? Hm?” Oh man, Twilight had lost her patience entirely if she was willing to make that snarky ass threat. It was actually kind of terrifying, seeing her not sperging out, yet somehow so close to a true meltdown.
Discord was at a loss of words. He put Twilight down, raised his paw as he began to try to say something, but then stopped, thought to himself, tried speaking again, stopped, then looked to you, then to Twilight, back to you, then Spike, then back to thinking, then finally said. “...Ok, I see I’m not coming out of this unscathed. But can’t we wo-” But Twilight just growls at him, just a low growl, her horn glowing, as if to tell Discord she was just going to warp out of there and tell Fluttershy. “Ok, ok, I can see you’re upset over nothing.” Discord said with a sigh. “Fine, I was just going home anyway. Seems somepony is just too wound up over nothing. But, Anon, I hope you feel proud of yourself.”
“I do.” You snarkily reply back.
Discord just narrows his eyes at you as he grows silent. But it seems he finally gives up as he snaps his talons, causing your horn to glow as he disappears. Haha! Finally! Three charges a day, baby! Though, poor Twilight, she was at her wit's end.
“T-Twilight, are you ok? You look like, erm, you’re gonna explode or something.” Spike said as he cautiously approached Twilight.
“I don’t even know anymore, Spike. I actually feel Chrysalis jumping out to attack me right now would have been less stressful than… That.” Twilight said, still shaking, her eye twitching.
“Woah, that is pretty tense. Er, wanna go to the spa then? Um, for a few weeks?” Spike said, hoping to do or try anything to get Twilight to calm down.
“Months is more like it, but no.” Twilight nerves were shot, even as she sighed and looked towards you, she was twitching. “Anon, as sorry as I am for my part in treating you harshly, I really don’t feel like dealing with anymore zaniness from you or Discord today.” Twilight said to you as she tried to find her center, mentally.
“I’m sorry too, Twilight, I really am. And don’t worry, despite, well, heh, my new upgrade. Erm, look, I know you’re sorry and all that, but the truth is I still messed things up too. I really want to apologize to everycreature, especially Cozy Glow. I want to know if they’ll forgive me or not. Because, well, if they don’t. I…” You let out a sigh, as guilt began to creep up on you. “I don’t know. I think I’d stop going to school, for one, just drop out really. In fact, I know Discord wouldn’t like it, and it’d worry Aunt Fluttershy, but I may join Starswirl on that friendship tour thing. I dunno, maybe it’d help me or something, just being away from everypony.” That is how you truly felt. It was just like when you let Scootaloo get mega drained by the changelings, but much worse, as Cozy had suffered a physical injury that could have been really bad. And who knows how traumatized Silverstream was.
“No!” yelled an adorably cute voice from the entrance of the library.
The three of you look over in surprise, seeing Cozy Glow rushing in, bandages on and around her head, as she rushes over to you crying, hugging onto you and nuzzling her head into your chest. “You can’t! Golly, Anon, why do you think it’s your fault?! It’s not, you didn’t know! You didn’t know the compass would have taken me to him! And I should have told somepony I was his friend… E-even though, I really wasn’t, b-because… He used me. I-I let it happen. You told Headmare Twilight that even Princess Luna knew, right? Then it wasn’t your fault at all if she was ok with what you were doing. I-If anypony should be asking for forgiveness, it’s me. I should be expelled an-”
NO! Dammit Cozy! You snuggle her back, hugging her. “Cozy, no! It was my responsibility, ok? I gave you the compass without making sure I used my magic properly. I should have been there for you more! Ok? I let you get hurt, I didn’t react fast enough. Cozy, don’t cry, ok?”
Cozy looked up to you, her cheeks soaked in tears, her eyes shimmering with sadness. “Then pwomise, ok? Pwomise you won’t leave. We’re all your friends, Anon, you can’t just leave.”
“I…” But suddenly you feel Twilight’s hoof on your shoulder, as she looks at you with a calm smile.
“Anon, I’ll go gather everycreature so you can speak to them. But, I have a feeling Cozy is right. Friends forgive each other, and it didn’t even look like Silverstream was mad about it. So, I think you might be overreacting like a certain purple princess.” Twilight tells you with a cool grin, giving you a wink.
“Twilight…” ah, damn man, that put some tears in your eyes.
Cozy, poor thing, she must have been listening in on the entire conversation, probably scared out of her mind something was going to happen to you.
And yet, her reaction. Everything was going to be ok, wasn’t it?
You stood between the old thrones, looking down at everyone. Twilight and Spike stood at your side, surprisingly enough, their presence being comforting as you prepared your massive apology and judgement. You were sure some would forgive you, but there only had to be one who didn’t who’d just… Well, they’d be entitled to those feelings, due to your fuck ups. “Alright then, Anon. Here we go,” You whispered to yourself. You took a breath, and then another, then looked to Spike, who looked back at you and gave you a thumbs up. Well, ok then. “Everpony, I have something to say.”
“If this is gonna be some apology thing, we already forgive you. So, y’know, can we get back to the party?” Gallus calls out to you.
WUT?! “What?! You already forgive me?! All of you?!”
“Well, duh!” Silverstream flew up, throwing her foreleg out in a cheer. “Me and Cozy, we spoke to everycreature about it! It’s not like you ran away or anything! And the compass thing wasn’t really your fault! So, why are you apologizing again?” Silverstream asked, trying to say that last part in a more sly manner, which only came off as endearing.
Sweetie Belle shrugged “Yeah, and everything else is usually because you have super bad luck. We already know you can’t control that. Everycreature is ok, Anon, none of us blame you for what happened. And since Cozy especially doesn’t blame you, and you couldn’t have known she was trying to reform the Storm King. Well, you know.”
“Yeah, Anon.” Smolder said as she brought her claw to her hip. “We’re your friends, remember? Geez, you could have just asked us instead of making it this super big thing.”
...Dammit. “Yeah… erm.” You look at Twilight. Then you look back at your friends. They forgave you that easily, huh? Hrn… Then perhaps, since you were on a truth marathon, you might as well fill in the last few of your current friends who don’t know about Chrysalis. “Ok. Then, er, moving on to part two of this apology. I, uh, ahrm, also learned that honesty really is the best policy and-”
“What? What Anon talking about?” Yona asked. “We learned that already. Did Anon’s head actually break? Wait, does that mean Yak head smashing skills is actually better?” Yona asked, confused by your statement.
“No, I mean. Look, there are about three of you who don’t know this, because I didn’t want it spreading around.” You say in a rush, before taking a breath, calming down, and try to prepare yourself for the worst reaction to your next words. “Look, I’m friends with Queen Chrysalis. I’ve been trying to reform her for a long long while. I know that may come as a shock to you-”
“Anon, everypony already knows that too.” Gallus replies.
WUT?! “WHEN?!”
“That’s sort of my fault. You know, when you kind of got all weird and then it turned out you and Gallus were just planning some fireworks for me? Yeah, I gotta admit, I kinda bugged Gallus about what was really going on. I dunno, it just seemed really off.” Sandbar nervously admitted as he rubbed his foreleg with his other hoof.
“Golly, I hope you aren’t mad, Anon. I told Silverstream and Yona about it while you were with headmare Twilight.” Cozy said, as she ducked like a scared little kitten.
Welp. “Ok then, I, er, huh…”
Spike snickered at all of that, finding it rather hilarious. “And you were worried over nothing.”
“Yeah… Just, er, kinda wish others wouldn’t just go spilling secrets like that.” You said in a lower voice so only Twilight and Spike could hear, grinding your teeth.
“I understand how you feel, Anon. But maybe this is a good thing. Nocreature seems to be ups-” But then, out of the blue, Ocellus starts to speak up, and she doesn't seem too pleased.
“Attention, everycreature. Now that you all know about this, and what happened to Cozy. I can safely say that Anon’s plan is a bad one. You can’t reform somepony like Chrysalis, nocreature can! All this time, and she’s not only still evil, but she tricked headmare Twilight and Anon into letting her scheme up one last big evil plan before she’d even attempt to reform. Which I’m sure she’s lying about!” Ocellus said as she hovered upwards, explaining and announcing her feelings on the subject.
Dammit! Ocellus! What the hell was she doing?! Was she waiting? Was she seriously waiting for the perfect chance to say that out loud?! You were about to call her out yourself, but you suddenly hear Twilight whispering to you. She was telling you “Anon, don’t do what I did. Don’t overreact. Remember, Ocellus has a right to her feelings too.” Dammit, ok, Twilight was on your side, but this wasn't exactly a moment to be calm and let Ocellus ruin everything. Instead, Twilight takes charge before you could think of a ‘calmer’ way to approach Ocellus. “Ocellus, calm down. The situation with Chrysalis is under control. It’s not something we’ve taken lightly.”
“Yes you have! I know about the curse, but that isn’t enough to stop her. Hasn’t anycreature realized that her friendship with Anon exists because she was forced to? She used him to try to escape Discord’s basement, and now she’s using him to get to you, Headmare! None of you know her like I do, she’s pure evil, she doesn’t care about anycreature but herself!” Ocellus said, looking at everyone frantically as she attempted to try to get everyone to see her point.
“Woah, woah, hold on.” Smolder said as she waved her claw left and right at Ocellus, then clapped both her hands together as she pointed them at you. “He’s been friends with her for a long time. I get that she’s evil, but if she was already out of his dad’s basement, why didn’t she destroy Anon the moment she had her chance?”
Guh… She, sorta did attempt that, at the false wedding. But she was crazy, out of her mind. “Er, I mean, Smo-” But you couldn’t even finish your sentence as Scrappy barreled right into the conversation.
“You’re wrong! The Queen cares about Anon, she cares about all of us… Sorta. She hates traitors, but she also hates being alone! If it wasn’t for Anon, she’d go crazy, so crazy, that she would be talking to sticks and stones! Is that what you want for our queen?” Scrappy said as he started hopping up and down, ready to face off against Ocellus if he had to.
“M-maybe, er. Well, yes, actually. She deserves to feel that way!” Ocellus said, as she brought herself back to the ground, ready to stand up for her beliefs.
Twilight gasped, but she didn’t say anything about it, it made you wonder why she reacted, so you whispered. “Twilight, what’s up?”
“What do you think? She's actually is willing to go as far as to want that kind of vengeance, I know we haven’t been teaching her that. But I won’t say anything, not yet, I want to see if they can work something out among themselves. So, Anon, can you hold off too?” She asked you. It seemed she wanted to see Ocellus’s true feelings on the subject, while also letting her handle the issue on her own to see what she has learned from her school thus far.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m scared about Scrappy though, he might get violent.” Like seriously, the little guy can explode at any moment.
“Don’t worry, I already have my magic ready to catch him, just in case.” Twilight said, her horn already emitting a soft glow.
“Deserves!? She raised us! Took care of us! We weren’t just lowly minions, we are her children! And, ok, we’re not evil anymore. But that doesn’t mean we should hate her! She misses us, she wants us to be a hive again!” Scrappy said.
“She would, because then she could go back to trying to take over everything with us, her army of changelings who were just too blind to see a better way, the better way she still refuses to see. She just uses everycreature, Scrappy. She uses you…” Ocellus then looks to you and points. “Just like she uses him. Why should I believe any different?”
Scrappy suddenly twitched, tilted his head, and narrowed an eye at her. “But, if she wasn’t Anon’s friend, wouldn’t she have kept the horn when she blasted the old dumb captain?”
Ocellus suddenly went wide eyed for a moment, faltering, but only for a second. “Erm, well, ahrm. Well, remember, she wouldn’t have been able to keep the horn. If she did, Discord would have dealt with her personally.”
“Aha! Foooooool!” Scrappy yelled out as he pointed towards Ocellus
“What? Y-you can’t just call me a fool, that doesn’t mean you win the argument.” Ocellus said. Despite being right, she felt a little scared from Scrappy’s sudden insult.
“Correct! Which is why I will also make a move with my words! Because she could have used the horn to go back to the hive, where Discord wouldn’t have been able to follow thanks to the throne. Then she could have planned, and planned, and even found a way to make the horn work with the throne. And then, Equestria would be hers! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Scrappy said as he began to laugh maniacally. “CHEECCKKKMMAAATTEEE!”
“Ouhhhh, that guy still gives me the bad vibes when he talks like that.” Spike said, shivering from how uneasy he felt.
“I admit, that is pretty unsettling. But, if that really did happen, then he has a point. Anon, you were obviously there, is Scrappy right?” Twilight asked
“Er, yeah, I guess she could have done that if she kept the horn til the next day. It only had one charge at the time, and I forget that ‘Dad’ is so full of himself, he probably would have let it happen. He was super sure her throne, or really, your brother’s armor wouldn’t have any effect on his magic. Turns out it does, so retroactively, he would have let it happen to try to prove it doesn’t, but it does.” You explain.
“Yeah, it’s actually pretty scary to think Chrysalis had a throne that was that powerful this whole time. Shining wanted me to help him figure out how to change the properties of his armor to affect changelings, so no doubt Chrysalis would find a way to have the horn work within the range of her throne, with Discord having no way to stop her from siphoning his power at least once a day.” Twilight begins to think about it more, until she suddenly comes to a realization. “She really could have done that, and yet she didn’t.”
“Looks like Scrappy has a point then. Huh, and when you only had one charge. That had to be a super long time ago. Maybe she was already warming up to the idea of reforming. What do you think, Anon?” Spike asked.
“I think she only really cared about me at that point.” You could remember her having no care for Scootaloo, and just letting her be drained dry. “But, I also think she’s improved since then. Like, a lot, we just need to wait for her to actually execute her plan.” You say as you give the shackles on your legs a somber look.
Twilight nods. “Something I promise I’ll be ready for. Don’t worry, I’m with you on this, and I’ll do my best to help you reform her in any way I can.”
“Thanks, Twilight.” Was all you could say. You couldn’t criticize her too much at this point, she literally has to be a target for Chrysalis’s aggressions towards Celestia. So yeah, just accept her help, and don't question it.
Meanwhile, Ocellus seemed to actually be subdued by Scrappy’s ‘checkmate’. But she wasn’t willing to give in just yet. “B-but she s-s-still wants revenge, h-how can anycreature justify that? She doesn’t want friends, n-not really. A-Anon is just a sp-special case, i-it’s because he has power.”
“Actually…” Suddenly, a new challenger appears! Applebloom walks towards Scrappy and gives him a gentle pet. “Scrappy, I’m gonna have to ask ya to simmer down, ok? I’m gonna say somethin’ really big, and I don’t want ya to get too excited.”
“Master Applebloom?” Scrappy looked upon her with confusion. Even Ocellus was confused. Everyone was confused, even you.
“It’s alright, really.” Applebloom said, with a gentle calm voice, as she gave him a nice grin. “And that’s because…” She then looked over to Ocellus. “Ah met with Chrysalis myself, and I think she ain’t that bad.”
“WHAT?!” Everyone, everyone but you, responded to that with just that one word. You just tensed up, because holy shit, that's one hell of a bomb to drop.
“Er, yeah. And it kinda went ok. I learned a lot about her, and I can safely say she really REALLY cares about Anon. And, er, I think she can learn the kind of care for friends she should have. If she can learn that, then she would be reformed no problem.” Applebloom said, both with certainty and uncertainty at the same time.
You slowly looked over to Twilight, expecting her to fucking explode. But aside from a few twitches, she was surprisingly calm. “Twilight?”
Twilight gulps, but looks to you with as much calmness as she can muster. “Don’t worry, I’m not g-gonna lose it. Chrysalis can’t hurt her, so it’s nothing to w-worry about. And Applebloom goes through the safer parts of the forest all the t-time. I-if anything, this is already sounding like a good thing.”
“I’m surprised it’s a thing. Anon, were you there when this happened?” Spike asked, looking over at Twilight for a moment, hoping she stays as calm as she says she is.
“I showed up a little after. Er, it looks like she’s about to explain everything. But I can promise you this, nothing bad happened.” This really was a tense moment, christ. She just brought it up. And yet, this could be it, this could be the clencher that convinces everyone and puts them on your side.
“Really cares about Anon? You only met her once, while she’s cursed, and you think that’s enough to know her true intention?” Ocellus asked, ready to challenge Applebloom’s possible misconceptions of her former queen.
“Well, me and my friends met her more than once. Especially this one time she drank this weird stuff and thought Scootaloo was a chicken.” Applebloom mentioned.
Scootaloo groaned, embarrassed, and covered her face with her hooves. “Uuuuugh, why did you have to mention that? That was just too weird. I thought she was going to make me her pet.”
“I thought she was going to spit up rainbows from how weirdly nice she was suddenly acting.” Sweetie Belle commented.
Scrappy began to twitch with excitement. “Y-you met with the queen? Master Applebloom, you met with her? D-did, did, er, you have fun?”
“Well, er, Kinda? That’s the thing, she kinda drank that weird stuff again. And she, er, well?” Applebloom looked to you, then to Twilight, and thought it’d probably be good not to mention the part where Chrysalis tried to kill you both. “She started acting really off. Or, from what I can tell, she was tellin’ all sorts of truths.”
“Truths? Chrysalis? Weird stuff?” Ocellus was confused, so damn confused, until suddenly. “Wait, was she drunk? Like, that weird thing where she wasn’t thinking straight? I remember her mentioning it happened to her to all of us, and then suddenly demanding we just forget she ever mentioned it. She had a big headache from it and we could tell she definitely wasn’t thinking right. She got drunk from a drink? Was it a poison?”
“Ah don’t think so, ah think it’s a weird truth potion. Anon didn’t say it was, but it sure seemed like it, because after she got drunk, she started crying.” Applebloom said
“Crying?!” Both Ocellus and Scrappy said in utter surprise.
“Yeah, um, and saying all sorts of things, she was sayin’ how she really cares about Anon. How she had fun adventurin’ with him. And that, and this part nearly made me cry when ah heard it, she said she’s willin’ to sacrifice herself so nothin’ bad happens to him.” Applebloom explained.
“What?! That doesn’t sound like her at all!” Ocellus said in disbelief.
“Erm, I-I have to agree, Master Applebloom. That doesn’t sound like the queen, she doesn’t cry. At least, I’ve never seen her cry.” Scrappy added, while in dismay that he had to agree with Ocellus.
Welp, Anon, now was your time to shine. “She’s telling the truth. I always had a feeling she cared about me more than she let on, considering she has nearly sacrificed herself to save me before. I could see she was scared, she was scared of being alone, scared of something happening to me, scared of making friends. Considering she likes my marefriend, it tells me she’s more than capable of making friends, she’s just scared to do it. Ocellus, we’ve had this chat before. I’m this far, I’m this close. I’m asking you, please, to give her a chance.”
“B-but…” Ocellus then looks to Twilight, hoping she’d be on her side. “Headmare Twilight, y-you haven’t really said anything about this yet. D-do you think they’re right?”
Twilight nodded as she stepped forward. “I do. This curse, Chrysalis’s plan to attack me, all of it happened because during my own visit with her, I couldn’t compromise with her and chose to question her sensibilities and push my ideals on her. But, before that happened, I was watching a film with her, and we were both making some connection with each other, even if it was strained. Chrysalis wants to try to end me to exact her petty revenge on Princess Celestia. But, if I can best her, which I plan to, I want to make a compromise with her so we can both be friends without either of us going to another extreme. Furthermore, I feel the more we can trust with this information in general, the more possible friends Chrysalis can have. Everycreature needs friends, Ocellus, even her.”
Ocellus began to shiver, such thoughts, it scared her, it meant she’d eventually be out and about, possibly plotting, possibly wanting to take everything for herself… Or worse. “B-but…” She gulped, looking back at her friends. “You all understand what I’m talking about, r-right?”
“Oh, Ocellus, don’t make me choose.” Silverstream said as she leaned down, disheartened. “We’ve been learning to make friends all this time, right? I-I know the Storm King is bad, but if Anon and Headmare Twilight say it's ok, then it should be ok, right?”
“Anon has been working really really really hard, Ocellus. What if we don’t try to help? Golly, she’d just feel all lonely and have no reason to be good.” Cozy said, as if her own failure with the Storm King didn’t cross her mind.
Smolder put her arms to her hips, tapping her foot with impatience. “I dunno, after what happened, Ocellus has a point. What if Chrysalis really is lying? Considering I’ve heard she’s worse than any dragon, that could really be a thing, y’know?”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Trust us, if Chrysalis drank the stuff that made her act that way, then she had no way of controlling herself. So if she was saying stuff like that, she must have meant it.”
“Yona has become more curious over drink than anything else. If drink can truly make somecreature that way, then Yona wanna try it. If Yona can resist, then maybe bug queen can resist too. Not as much as Yak, but still.” Yona added.
“But I already know the queen can’t resist that drink. That’s why she wanted us to forget about it after she told us. She said it to all of us.” Scrappy added.
Ocellus flinched. It was true, she knew it was true, she wouldn’t have gotten angry about it if she handled it well. Then, suddenly, she felt a pony hugging her. It was Sandbar. “Ocellus, it's ok. We know you don’t like her, we all get it.” He then stops, and looks at her with a warming smile. “But look at you, you changed for the better too. Like, super literally. Doesn’t that mean she can change too? Whatever you wanna do, I’ll have your back. And if you’re afraid to face her, well, I got your back on that too. I’ll be right there with you so nothing bad happens. We all will, right guys?” Sandbar said as he looked back at the rest of the group, who of course all gave a resounding yes.
“Meet with her? After everything that happened? I…” Ocellus then looked down. She was scared, and yet, she felt ashamed. She felt she was justified, and yet, could she be wrong? But, despite it all, Chrysalis scared her. She didn’t want to have anything to do with her, she didn’t even want there to even be a chance of her being taken in by her influence. But she knew, she knew that drink was real. And if Chrysalis truly acted that way… “I… I need some time to think about it. Is that ok?”
“Sure!” Sandbar said with no hesitance, wanting to encourage and help Ocellus with any decision she makes. “Take all the time you need. Whatever you decide, we’ll all back you up. Right guys?”
Gallus shrugs. “Yeah, I don’t see why we wouldn’t. I’m not too crazy talking to an evil bug queen either. But friendship is important, right? I, er, I know what it is to have some family issues and stuff. So, er, I can see it both ways.”
And with an affirmation from everyone else, Sandbar nodded to Ocellus, and grinned. “See? Nocreature is forcing you to say yes.”
“...I guess. I am sort of interested to see for myself if she is truly changing. But… I can’t face her right now. I know what she’d say.” Ocellus sat down, and began to shake her head, she was growing more timid by the second, and now she didn’t want to think about it anymore.
“That’s fine, don’t even worry about it, ok, Ocellus?” Sandbar says, trying to get her mind off of things. “We can forget about it for now, right? We still have a party to get down too, right everycreature?”
And just like that, everyone just agreed. Because party time is best time. Twilight took the time to take a breath and relax. “Well, it looks like everything is working out so far. Even better than I hoped, actually. All I can wish for now is for Ocellus to come around. I don’t want to force it though.”
“Yeah, ugh, I’m really hoping she does give it a chance though. The more changelings willing to forgive her, the better the odds she just reforms without issue. I think I lucked out this time, like, big time. This could have gone really bad.” Like, fuck, not only does everyone know now, but aside from Ocellus, they were all willing to try to be Chrysalis’s friend. You doubted they could, but the sentiment certainly would help convince her.
“Tell me about it, you’re really lucky you’re popular, Anon.” Spike said, smirking as he shakes his head. But then suddenly, he becomes frightened of something. “Oh, wait, never mind. I just realized something.”
“What’s that, Spike?” Twilight asked.
“So, yeah, it’s pretty obvious Applejack doesn’t know Applebloom has seen Chrysalis yet. So, uh… Y’know, considering it has to do with Anon.” Spike said, as he put a claw to his neck and slide it to the side. “Yeah, that.”
Twilight’s ears folded when she heard that. “Right, er, I… Well, she’s… Oh boy.”
Oh god… You were going to die. Applejack was going to kill you when she found out. There was no if, she had to know eventually.
There you sat, at the front of the entrance of the old castle, looking at some of the overgrowth around the area as you pondered.
The party itself wasn’t so bad. You used your first charge to create a giant set of speakers and a machine with every song ever on it. It’s just too bad nobody fucking appreciates dancing to video game music, and Spike had to take over as DJ.
Silverstream finally managed to nab you so you could tell her, and all those willing to listen, some more of your perilous exploits. Hell, she even wanted to know more about your relationship with Chrysalis, something the others, aside from Ocellus, were willing to listen to. You told them, in more detail, the adventures in the other Equestria. You told them about the better times you had with Chrysalis, like when watching movies with her, or that one arcade tournament.
Twilight decided to stick around as well, and watch over everyone. She didn’t want to admit it, but you could tell she was mostly sticking around just to make sure nothing else would happen. Not like she was blaming you or anything, it just seemed to be something that always happens.
You let out a sigh, it was only the afternoon, and already the day was a fucking rollercoaster of craziness. You had to thank your lucky stars that not only was everyone ok, but the Storm King was finally gone for good. But then, you still had to see Celestia. And for some reason, the staff just disappearing like that, that still irked you.
“Yo, Anon, all partied out?” Spike called out to you as he walked over, sitting by your side.
“Huh? Oh, Spike? Ah, sorta. Just needed some fresh air, I got a lot on my mind.” You tell him as you continue to stare into the sky.
“I bet. But just to let you know, I was kidding about that whole Applejack thing… Sorta. But hey, I wouldn’t worry about it too much, it’s not like Applejack is THAT stubborn.” Spike said, with a bit of an awkward chuckle.
“I really wasn’t thinking about it too much. There’s just some other stuff I gotta do, and-” But Spike finishes off your thoughts for you.
“You can’t get over what happened with the staff, right?” He says as he gives you a sudden cool smirk.
“Uh, yeah. What’s with the grin?” You ask, a little unnerved. Sure, it was obvious, but that wasn’t a reason to be arrogant about it.
“Heh, well, we all know how Discord is, he could have still not been trying his best to detect it. Which got me thinking, you can use his magic through your horn, right?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, but they are still my spells. And… Ooooh, oh.” You smack your head with your hoof, and then shake your head left and right. “Oh geez, I feel stupid.”
“So you get what I’m getting at then?” Spike asked.
“Yeah. I had been using my charges for so many other things, I didn’t even think about trying to detect the staff myself. Good thinking, Spike. I guess if I can’t even detect it, then I shouldn’t worry about it anymore.” Damn, fuck, what an excellent idea!
“Yup! And if you do detect it, you can use your last charge of the day to grab it. Hmm, I wonder if you could actually use it though. I’d never try, chaos magic seems too crazy to handle. But if you could, I guess you wouldn’t need to use the horn anymore, huh?” Spike said, looking up at the sky with you.
“Maybe, but then, if I couldn’t handle it, then… Er, well, I’d not want to think about it. But on the other hoof, if I could handle it, well.” You started to drift off for a moment, thinking about sitting on the throne of a flying castle as you rain flaming hot dildos at your enemies. “...Yeaaaahhh, hehehehehe” You chuckled.
“Er, ok.” Spike could see it, your face was full of malevolent yet jovial thoughts. It made him feel a bit uneasy. But he quickly calmed down, and tapped at his own head. “Well, if you’re gonna detect it yourself, you better make sure the spell you cast is a good one.”
“Good?” You scoffed at his words. “Spike, trust me, this spell I got whipped up already is gonna be amazing, just watch.” Oh yes, you already had something in mind. A super powerful sonar blast meant to pick up higher readings of chaos. It was going to be a powerful cast this time around, so you readied yourself, stepping down to the dirt and finding a place to dig your hooves into to brace yourself as you slap on the horn and aim forward into the forest. “I’m gonna scan all of Equestria.”
“I mean, isn’t that the point?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, but this blast? It’s gonna be silent but deadly… Er, I mean, like. It’s not a fart, it’s just going to be this super duper powerful thingy that I'm gonna make quiet. Y'know, so I don’t interrupt the party or anything like that.” Dammit, you were just trying to make a cool pun.
“Er, and the deadly part?” Spike asked, really hoping you didn’t mean that literally
“Oh, It’s just gonna be a super powerful sonar. Now, stand back, Spike” You yelled out as you began to glow, huge amounts of energy gathering into your horn.
“Oh no!” Spike shouted as he ducked behind you, covering his head.
“HERE I GOOOOOAAAHHHFEDEOSGIFJGSDFKJ” Welp, even though you had prepared yourself, you still ended up blasting backwards into the wall of the castle. You create an indent where you hit, and then fall forward on your face, right onto the ground. “N-ngh…”
Spike peeked ahead, watching as an invisible blast just tore forward, causing the entire forest to rustle as the sonar ring traveled through the forest. “Oh… I really hope nothing bad happens.” Then he looks over to you, and notices you're hurt. “Anon! Yo, woah! Anon, are you ok? Wow, you really hit the wall there, huh?”
You slowly raised your upper body, feeling a shocking pain in your torso. “N-ngh, I would be ok… If I had hit my head. Ugh, geez, I wasn’t expecting it to be that strong.”
“Neither was I. Er, it’s not gonna destroy Equestria or anything, is it?” Spike asked, hoping he didn’t have to tell Twilight. He knew it was the right thing to do, but he didn’t want her to be mad at you again. Even if this time, it’d be for more legit reasons.
“I-it shouldn’t, the forest looks fine. I think it gets less, er, windy as it goes wider. B-but, ngh, it should detect that staff, no problem. Thanks for the idea, Spike.” Really, it was a good idea.
“I hope you’re rig- Wait, so, it’s like a bat sonar thing? So, like, it’ll reflect back to you or something?” Spike said, as he began to grow pale.
“No, more like it’ll sweep all of Equestria, and then come back to me from behi-Oh no.” Oh shit! You immediately begin digging “Oh man, I need a huge pile of dirt!”
“Anon! Is that gonna help?! How hard is it going to hit you when it comes back?!” Spike asked, while also digging with you anyway, trying to make the pile as big as he could.
“No idea! But if I have a big bed of dirt, then everything should be ok! I just need a soft cushion and I’ll be fine!” Fucking hell! At least you were on top of it this time. As soon as the pile was big enough, you leaned back on it and braced yourself once more. “I’m not hitting a wall this time!”
“And you’re sure it's coming from that way?” Spike asked, pointing backwards towards the castle.
“Yeah, trust me, it’s my spell after all.” You say, making sure you were fully ready to be cushioned by the large dirt pile.
“Ok then.” Spike shrugged as he jumped into the hole generated by the digging and hides.
Fucking Spike, you told him you knew what was up. Sure, the spell was more powerful than you anticipated, but you still mapped out how it worked. And speaking of maps, once it does come back, you’ll have a comprehensive globe with everything chaos pointed out on it. It will beFDSFSDFDFSDFDSVGDC.
Suddenly, the sonar wave comes back from the same direction it was sent from, slamming into the dirt pile first and burying you under it as a giant stone slab hits and stands straight up at the end.
Spike hears your yelling and looks up. He sees your ‘grave’ and starts to panic. “Oh man, this is bad! Anon?! ANON!” Spike yelled as he prepared his claws to dig you out. But before he could get the chance, your hoof bursts from the ground, making him fall back as you pop your head up, disheveled, and gasping for breath. “Anon?! A-are you ok?!”
“Graaagh! Ptooey!” You started to spit up dirt and gravel, pulling yourself out of the dirt and crawling along your belly before rolling on your back. “Hrgh, w-what happened?”
“I-I don’t know, the wave thing just came back to you instead of coming from the other side of the castle. Are you alright? That looked like it hurt. D-do you want me to go get Twilight?” Spike asked, worried but ready to try to provide you any aid you might need.
“N-no, ngh.” You slowly roll back onto your belly and unsteadily stand as your horn grows bright upon your head. “N-ngh, you’d t-think my body would be a-as strong as my head with all that t-training I did. N-ngh…” Man, you were glad Diamond wasn’t here, she’d demand you see a doctor. Something you do not need, you hoped anyway. “I don’t even k-know what happened, egh. Maybe I miscalculated.”
“You super miscalculated. That wave must work like bat sonar, Anon, because it came back to you, and much harder than you sent it out as. I’m glad you’re ok, but I dunno, you may need to see a doctor. I mean it, look, your horn is glowing and everything.” Spike said as he pointed up at your horn.
“Hmm? O-oh, er, no. It’s glowing because that’s the second part of the spell. Looks like it still worked. Watch this.” Please don’t let it kill you, please don’t let it kill you, please don’t let it kill you. You aim your horn up as projection lights seem to form an augmented reality map. “Aha! There we go, it worked! Feast your eyes, Spike, a comprehensive map of Equestria, Anon style!”
“Huh? Is that why your horn was glowing? Huh, this is pretty cool, actually. But are you sure you’re ok?” Spike asked, still concerned, and yet mystified by the map.
“Yeah, I am. Just, hmmm.” You were ignoring your pain at this point, eyeing the map closely. As you look at the forest area, you find a dead spot on the map. “That’s weird, this place isn’t showing up. And neither is this, right here in the school. What gives?”
Spike takes a look himself, and realizes what that spot could be. “Oh, that’s where the Tree of Harmony probably is. In fact, I’m kinda sure that’s exactly the spot. Dunno about the school though, other than the fact that it seems harmony causes a few holes to appear on your map. Look, there’s another one up at the Crystal Empire. I bet that’s the Crystal Heart.”
Huh… Well then, that does seem to explain that. “Ok, I guess that makes sense. But, come on, the staff, it has to be-” But Spike suddenly jumps when he points out a big red mark.
“Anon! There, on the map and… Wait, right on the other side of the castle? I-is that it? Is that the staff?”
Woah! There it was, the staff! It was right there! On the other side of the castle! “Well, well, it was this close the whole time and he didn’t even feel it. Ok then, let’s see exactly where it is. Map, I command you to zoom in on that spot!”
The augmented reality map began to shift, zooming in on that spot as it changed into a hologram of that section of the land. Closer, and closer, and closer still, you were ready. Finally, the staff was found and you could not only ultimately get rid of it, but one up Discord at his own… Wait, WAIT!
“Uh, Anon, that isn’t a staff, that’s Discord.” Spike said as he pointed at the hologram of the draconequus.
Oh, it was him alright, garbed in tennis player’s clothing as it showed the last thing he did before the sonar turned around without your knowledge, and that’s because the fucker swung his tennis racket at the fucking wave and sent it back across Equestria. He was even holding a sign up with his tail that said ‘I told you I already checked for everything, now don’t you feel foolish?’. You began to turn red with fury as the hologram began to disappear, your horn plopping from your head. “GRRR! It was him! He sent the wave back at me! That petty piece of…” You stopped for a moment, grabbing your horn and gazing upon it. “Oh, ohh ho, he wants a war, huh? He wants to be all whiny because of the ‘truth’? Well, how about I-” But Spike begins to shake you to get your attention.
“Woah! Woah! Anon, you have to relax. I can already see what you’re doing, and it’s totally a bad idea. You’re not Discord, you’re better than that!” Spike said as he crossed his arms, then threw them out quickly. “Just don’t do whatever you’re planning to do, ok? That’s what he would want. Trust me, I already agree with you, he’s being petty. But I also know getting revenge because he’s being petty is exactly what he wants. Remember, Anon, he does care about you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have even given you the three charges. This is just him also getting some petty revenge. He doesn't hate you or anything like that”
“Spike, are you kidding me?! So what am I supposed to do, let him walk all over me? He literally sent me into the ground!” You were furious, and you already had an idea of what to cast. Jimmy seemed to be the center of his annoyance as of late, so giving Jimmy even more would be the perfect revenge, he wouldn’t be able to stand it.
“Yeah, I know, but think about it. Discord always thinks he’s on top. If you keep trying to one up him, he’ll just try to one up you instead. You have to talk to him, make him understand that what he did upset you. Discord may be a jerk, but he isn’t heartless. Just let him know how you feel.” Holy crap, Spike was sounding like an after school special right now.
“I’ve had moments like that with him already, and yet he still pulls off his crap!” You tell him.
“I’m gonna assume crap means the stuff he usually pulls, and Anon, I know, he always does that. Look…” Spike stops to look around, then he gets close, and whispers. “Discord is just a big baby sometimes. It’s why Fluttershy usually had to wrangle him in half the time. I’m not saying him always doing something like this is right, but getting him to realize it’s wrong usually gets it to stop. Look, what would you rather have. Discord and you at war? Or just making him realize he made a mistake and going back to being really good friends? Come on, you’ve said it yourself, Discord can be really awesome when he wants to be, do you really wanna ruin that? I know it stinks, but think of it this way, you’re the mature one here, and I bet that always makes Fluttershy happy.”
Dammit… “Ugh, you had to mention her. And if I did do this, and she found out, she’d be pretty upset. Eh, fine, at least she’ll know I didn’t retaliate… Actually…” You look at your horn, and let out a sigh. “I’d like to actually sleep next to her tonight. Stress free, that’s all I want, I want to be stress free. And that means there is still one last thing I need to do.”
“Is it still about the staff, Anon?” Spike asked.
You shake your head. “No, it seems it really is gone. No, I need to see Princess Celestia and get one last thing done. She’s the only one who can help me with it, and once it is actually done, I can finally rest.”
“Geez, Anon, you’re suddenly getting really deep on me here. Look, whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.” Spike said.
“It is, I didn’t get to really mention it, but Neighsay heard rumors about what’s going on with the whole Chrysalis thing, and he is gonna want to investigate it himself. If I don’t deal with it now, then there is a chance a whole lot of bad stuff can happen, including the school being shut down.” You explain.
“Oh… Ok, that’s pretty bad. Really bad. Er, just don’t go crazy over it though. Even with Princess Celestia’s help, if you say the wrong thing, it’s over.” Spike warns.
“I know, I know. Ok, I’ll make sure to choose my words carefully.” You aim your horn down and open a portal directly to where Celestia should be. To hell to whatever she might be doing, this was important.
“That portal is gonna take you directly to the princess, isn’t it?” Spike asked as he squinted at you, crossing his arms.
“Er, yeah, why?” You ask
Spike walks over to you and knocks on your head. “Hello, she might actually be busy with something important. You have to be more respectful!”
“H-hey! C’mon.” You say as you back up, caught off guard with his sudden lecturing. “It’s not like it’s gonna take me directly to her, just somewhere I could stand around and wait.”
Spike rolled his eyes and let out a huff. “Eh, I guess. Just don’t make her angry, ok? I’ll let everycreature know you went out for something in case they ask. But, y’know, I do gotta let Twilight know.”
“I know, it’ll be fine, I’m sure she’ll understand. Anyway, seeya, Spike, I got stuff to do.” You wave to him, and dive into the portal. However, when you pop out, you could see you were in the Canterlot Archives. You could see Celestia reading through a huge book on a desk as Luna frantically pulled out books with her magic, trying to find something.
“Those winds, sister, they have to be an omen for something. Are you sure you felt nothing? Not a single premonition?” Luna asked, as her eyes scanned the books, page by page.
Celestia, while seeming more calm, had a tenseness in her own voice that suggested something was wrong. “I’m sure. Either the strange winds came as soon as they manifested, or whoever summoned them is beyond my perception. And yet, with how many times I have personally read these tomes, I cannot remember one mentioning a strong yet brief wind that can change direction on a whim.”
“Neither do I. But such power, more focused than a hurricane, and yet so brief. It is obviously a display of power, to inflict fear upon us and our subjects. But we will not be threatened! If whoever summoned these winds wish to hide, then we will eventually flush them out, no matter the cost!” Luna proclaims.
Oh christ…
“Er, heya?” You said as you stood there, nervously waving.
“Anon?” Both sisters replied as they turned towards you.
“Aha!” Luna shouted as she lifted you with her magic and presented you to Celestia. “Even Anon is aware of this, and has come to assist us! Tell us, Anon, has Twilight been alerted as well?”
Celestia stared at you, then looked over towards a window. “I can only guess she has been, and has sent Anon here with use of his own magic, as it would be faster than sending a letter. With everything we have to worry about, this will hopefully shed some light on the situation and make us calm.”
Wow, Celestia, for once, didn’t seem to think you were the cause. Then again, they had no reason to believe you’d just show up out of nowhere to just admit it was you. And sudden winds like that, which was your radar pulse, didn’t sound like something you’d do. So, er, you just had to wonder how’d they both react when you told them. “Um, actually.”
“Actually? Actually what, Anon?” Luna asks as she turns you around to face her.
“Um, that wind was me, actually. I was kinda doing some important work and it just got a little out of hoof?” You say with a sheepish chuckle before letting out a yelp as you are suddenly dropped on the ground.
Luna’s worry turns into a cold hard stare as she looks to you, then Celestia, and then turns to face the exit as she begins to walk out. “I’m going back to bed.”
“Luna? What ab-” But whatever Celestia was about to say, Luna cuts her off immediately.
“He is yours to deal with, sister. I am going back to sleep. I do not wish to be disturbed. I will quite literally throw whoever wakes me up again out the window, including you, if I am disturbed.” Luna said with a low growl as she walked off.
You were rubbing your ass from the fall. Geez, you were getting tossed around a lot all of a sudden. “Yikes, I wasn’t expecting her to be all cranky and- Oh boy.” You looked up to see Celestia giving you a cold hard stare. It forced you to fold your ears as you tried to give Celestia the cutest apologetic look you could muster, your eyes even shimmering in adorableness. “A-are you mad at me? I-it was an accident.”
Celestia wrinkled her nose, then furrowed her brow at you further. “You disturbed my sister, frightened my subjects into a panic, interrupted my meeting with Fancy Pants, and caused the guards to be on high alert. And then you ask me such a question?! Are you aware of what you have just done?” Her tone was becoming colder and colder by the second.
Oh man, Spike was right. Fuck! “Er, Celestia...erm. Look, don’t get mad at me, ok?! I’m sorry! It was an accident!” And then her horn suddenly began to glow as she seemed to get even angrier. “Celestia, wait!” You ducked your head, you didn’t have another charge left to stop her.
And then suddenly, you felt a gentle petting on your head. Her hoof, in fact, as she used her magic to bring over a small cup of tea to sip from.
Wut?
You looked up to see Celestia give a relaxed sigh as she closed the tome and placed the cup down on the table. “I have to admit, your timing couldn’t be more perfect. True, I am upset about the other things.” Then she suddenly tensed. “But if I had to see that play one more time, I think I would have lost my mind.”
Wut?
Celestia looked down at you, and noticed how fucking confused you looked. “Oh, Fancy Pants had invited me to see a play after our meeting. One I had seen previously, eight times, within the last four days, and it lasts three hours. The play itself is excellent, mind you, and quite popular. But if I had to go one more time, I swear I would have painted my sister up in my colors and had her go in my stead. And, knowing you’re the cause of all this, I know it isn’t anything to worry about. Also, it gives me three hours to do whatever I wish. Hmmm.” Celestia began to ponder to herself “I wonder what I should do with so much free time? I could finally catch up on some of those video games you had given us so long ago, but then again, a full three hours at a spa sounds so good right now. I’d not even mind taking you with me, Anon, if you want. But do know I expect some professionalism out of you, given how you tend to act around pretty mares… Such as myself.”
That bitch, she literally faked you out. Wait, no, Anon, relax. Important stuff, you got important fucking stuff to discuss. “Actually, Princess Celestia. I actually have important stuff to discuss with you.”
“Hm? How important?” Celestia asked.
“It’s about Chancellor Neighsay.” You say.
Celestia’s eyes widened in shock. “Well, that is quite important.”
“That is quite something, Anon.” Celestia reacted.
You had told her everything, from what had transpired today, to your problems with Chancellor Neighsay. She didn’t wig out, complain, or interrupt you as you basically spilled your guts out to her. If anything, she just seemed curious to hear more.
“Yeah, and it’s why I need your help. And, uh, none of that bothers you? Really? Even the whole Storm King thing?” You asked, curious as to why she didn’t seem angry or pissed at you about the Storm King situation you had explained to her. Or everything with Neighsay.
She shook her head. “No, maybe, perhaps a bit. But Twilight did handle it and given you were forgiven for what occurred, I can’t really scold you for it. But I can ask you to be more careful, can’t I?”
“Yeah, um, I promise. Thanks for not being mad at me, well, mostly not mad.” It was all you could ask for. Mostly, you just didn’t want to deal with her being angry at you after actually getting through to Twilight and everyone forgiving you anyway. But there was also the fact you brought all of it up in the first place just to see if she got mad. There was just one part of you that wanted to tell her off. But this was probably for the better.
“No need to thank me. If anything, I appreciate your honesty, even Twilight would have been scared to tell me such information if she was the one to cause it.” Celestia tells you as her smile becomes warmer.
“Yeah, I can actually see that being a thing.” You say, which causes Celestia to giggle. “Wha? What’s so funny about that?” You thought she’d be insulted.
“It’s just, now that I think about it, you seem to have this contradictory issue of knowing exactly what you should do, but you either won’t do it, or will do it near perfectly. Honestly, I wish you were here when I received friendship letters from Twilight and her friends. Seeing what you’d write would have been a treat.” Celestia said as she stood up, and began to exit the archive, looking back at you to beckon you over, to follow her.
Oh, she thought so, huh? Well, it is true, if you had to deal with the USUAL problems Twilight and her friends dealt with an entire season, you know you’d have aced it no problem. “I mean, I know about what they went through, and I think it’s all pretty minor compared to what I have to deal with. Mostly, not all of it, just mostly.” You tell her, with confidence, as you follow her.
“Mostly, you say, interesting. Well, let us try some scenarios then. First, how would you have handled an invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala? I want you to take note that you have two tickets. One for you, and one for a friend.” Celestia asks as she heads towards the throne room through the hallways, her pace rather slow given the situation.
“Uh, I’d take Diamond, of course. It’d be a date, and everypony would have to understand that.” Easy.
“Hm, a good answer. Alright, let’s try something more complicated. Say you had a prized pet of mine, and it suddenly expires in your care. What would you do?” Celestia asks, as she stops near a passing guard and whispers something in his ear. He returns her words with a salute, and hurries down the hallway.
You know that episode, but that is kind of tough to answer. Wait, no it isn’t. “Would this pet be a phoenix?”
“Yes, actually.” Celestia replies as she continues her trek.
“Then I know it’s gonna come back from its own ashes. C’mon, Princess, you gotta give me a tougher one.” This is way too easy, geez. You really would have handled the earlier seasons without a problem.
“I do indeed. Alright, let’s try this one, it should be easy for you. Say you have a sleepover with a couple of friends. Unfortunately, these two friends have very opposing viewpoints on how a sleepover should go and start arguing, even fighting. What would you do to calm the situation and make sure that sleepover is the best one ever?” Hoo, she sounded pretty cheery on that one.
“Personally, I’d tell them to cut the crap or I’m kicking both of them out. Either compromise, or leave, I ain’t dealing with it.” Seriously, how petty both Applejack and Rarity could be is pretty damn bad. Even if it wasn’t those two, you were sure any two ponies would make it a miserable experience if they tried to have it completely their way.
“Ahrm, that is a valid answer, I suppose. A little blunt, but it isn’t a bad answer.” Celestia seemed to accept that answer, even if she felt it was being too hard on whatever two friends you may have had in mind. “Alright, final scenario. You’ve asked a dear friend for help in discussing important matters with somepony who is overly stubborn and narrow minded. Although you might expect this friend to help you immensely, it is ultimately-” But you interrupt Celestia right there, because goddammit, you knew what she was gonna say.
You just narrow your eyes at her, annoyed, as you finish her sentence. “...Up to me to convince him to not go insane on me, Twilight, the school, and everything in between. You know, you didn’t need to mention that, I already knew what I had to do.”
“I know you do, I could already tell you were committed to doing the right thing. But you didn’t let me get to my question.” Celestia said to you, showing immense patience to your interruption.
“Which was?” You ask, deeply wondering what it could be, given you already knew what you had to do.
“My question was going to be how we destress ourselves after we’re done speaking with him. Are you aware of how stubborn and hard to talk to he is? I may be a long lived and highly experienced Princess, but I still know what a headache feels like. Between you and me, Anon, I swear I sometimes believe I contracted the flu speaking to him on matters that are, well, how to put this… Hmmmmm, ah, well, let’s just say these matters are simply always something he has to be negative about.” Celestia said as she leaned back on her throne, sighing. “This is going to be a very bad time, I can feel it. I’m not prepared for it, but I will do what I must.”
Christ. Well, you can’t say you didn’t know how bad it was going to be. The guy was an asshole and a pretty big racist. Given what you were going to tell him, there was no guarantee things would even work out. “Uhm, I-I see. So you even have trouble with the guy, huh? Um, what do you think will happen if this doesn’t work out.”
“Nothing good. I won’t let the blame fall on you, however. Simply because, without you, he may have done something else, something much worse, when it came to your nonpony friends.” Celestia then looks down at you, she looked serious as she tried to relax herself. “Know this, Anon, this will not be easy. We will both need to do our best, and not slip on our own words and logic, if we even hope to convince him to let us handle things.”
“Yeah…” You suddenly felt even more tense than before. Seeing Celestia nervous like that, it made you feel shaky and doubtful. It was amazing she was as composed as is, given how bad things would go for Twilight if things don’t go your way. “S-so, when are we doing this? Tonight? Tomorrow?”
“Probably in ten more minutes when he comes bounding through one of his portals.” Celestia said as she took yet another calming breath.
“Ten more minutes? WAIT?! TEN MINUTES?! HOW?! WHY SO SOON?!” You weren’t ready! Holy fuck, how did she manage that?!
“Because what we say must come from the heart, and not from some preconceived plan. As for my estimation, well, I did send one of my guards to deliver a message personally to him. Given what it was, he will no doubt waste no time in making his way here. You need to be ready for his arrival, Anon. We both must be ready.” Celestia told you in a sterner voice, bracing herself for anything.
HOLY FUCK! YOU WERE NOT READY TO DO THIS, NOT THIS SOON! “Wait! WAIT! I still need to prepare something. That guy probably has stacks of rebuttals for stuff like this. There is such a thing as mentally imagining every way a conversation can go, you know that, right?!”
Celestia nodded. “I do. And Chancellor Neighsay is one to be prepared for all of our thoughts we’d have prepared for him, without needing preparations.”
“That’s why I needed time! I wasn’t just gonna plan the conversation in my head, no, I was going to make sure I had everything ready in my head! Like, rebuttals, key points, objections, and even pointing out his own hypocrisy! ‘From the heart’ doesn’t work for me! That’s not how I operate! In fact, it’s freaking dumb! Do you speak from the heart when you make speeches? Or do you read from a prewr-” But you stop yourself there, because if it came to anything important, she most likely did speak from the heart. You groan, and try to straighten yourself up. “I’m just gonna say this was a bad idea, and you should know that.”
Celestia shook her head as she readied herself, even bracing herself for Neighsay’s appearance. “Have faith, Anon.” Princess Celestia approaches you, and gently rubs her hoof along your head. “You are capable of anything, if you just believe in yourself.”
D-dammit! Why did she have to pet you like that! You quickly move back away from her and give her the ole’ stink eye. “‘Believe in myself’, huh? Sure, fine, whatever. But just to let you know, when it comes to humans, things aren’t so easy peasy as ‘believing in yourself’.”
Celestia took a moment to smirk at you, giving you a wink. “Oh? And when was the last time you were human?”
“You know what I mean! I swear to fuc-Gyah! Oh geez! He’s here!” A blue portal suddenly bursts open in the middle of the throne room. Stepping through was the Chancellor himself, stepping in like he was some snooty royalty. As the portal disappeared behind him, he took a shifty look to his left and right. Then, when he looked forward, he was suddenly surprised, in a pleasant sense. “Well, well, suddenly everything makes more sense.” He chuckled as he approached the throne. “Anon was the one who discovered the deception, I should have known.” The chancellor approached the throne and bowed before Princess Celetia. “Your majesty, I’ve received word from your guards that the evil Queen Chrysalis is up to no good. While the EEA is not any sort of military organization, we will defend Equestria all the same. Oh yes, might I add that you should have heeded my words, as the Queen’s army will not be felled so easily.”
“You seemed to have misheard the news, Chancellor. She has no army, it’s just her.” Celestia informs him.
He scoffs at those words. “Ha! Do you expect me to believe such tripe? Perhaps we should hear what Anon has to say. Anon, surely you have new information that can disprove Princess Celestia’s naïve statement.”
FUCK! FUCK! Your ears fold as you look to Celestia, who looks back at you and tilts her heads towards the Chancellor. She wanted you to speak, hopefully saying the right thing. Fine, fine, stop being a pussy. Just go for it! “Uhm, actually, Chancellor. She’s right. The changelings pretty much hate their queen’s guts. They have no reason to side with her.”
“No reason to- wha? No, you can’t be that naïve. She birthed them, didn’t she? Loyalty to your birth mother is not easily shirked. They are masters of deception. Everything on that counsellor’s report could have been false. The one known as Ocellus could have fooled everypony in that school to allow a way for her queen to infiltrate. It’s obvious, isn’t it? I know the security in Ponyville has increased substantially, there is a reason for that, and you know what it is. And with all that said, how could she possibly not have her changelings helping her?” Neighsay was already on the offensive, believing his logic to be solid. He’s not technically wrong… When it comes to Scrappy. But that was just Scrappy.
Hell, given what just happened at the castle with Ocellus, you knew for a fact she’d never rejoin Chrysalis. Hell, why would any changeling join her at this point? Putting this in your mind, you actually already knew a way to challenge Neighsay, only realizing now how powerful your proof actually is. You bravely step forth to oppose him. “Actually, you seem to be missing some details. In fact, the changelings have no reason to join Chrysalis. Or any evil force for that matter.”
Neighsay raised an eyebrow at you, no longer amused by your ‘naivety’ as he found the fact you were now defending changelings, in terms of fighting for Chrysalis, disgusting. “And why is that?”
“Because their new forms are based on genuine love, goodness, and caring. It allows them to remain fed without having to take from others. Nor do they need to hunt for their food supply. They don’t even have a need to store their supply in cocoons. It would literally be suffering if they went back to being evil. Furthermore, Ocellus has been really really expressive for her distaste for Chrysalis. It upsets her to even think about it.” There was no way he could argue that!
And, it seemed you were right. His eyes went wide, and he suddenly went into deep thought. That’s when Celestia started speaking, to add to your words. “I can see you’re searching for some sort of rebuttal, Chancellor. But I can assure you Anon is correct. I had admitted that their current king was under my and my sister’s care to you before, and I can show you letters I had recently received from him in terms of considering reconciling with Chrysalis. From the letters he has sent back, there is a consensus that trusting her is ‘beyond insane’.”
And even still, he remained silent. He began to slowly shake, before looking back at the both of you with an aggravated yet defeated expression. “Fine then, that is adequate enough logic to explain why she isn’t backed by her children. So then, why all this? If she had some secret plan to attack Ponyville on her own, then it seems it is already doomed to fail. In fact, if you knew she was planning an attack, then you must know where she is. You can theoretically have dealt with her at any time. Unless… Hmmm.” He thought about it just a bit more before finally saying something that filled you with dread, it even surprised Celestia. “She is just the one changeling you’re trying to reform. Is that it, Princess Celestia? If that is what it is, one must wonder why you need to secure Ponyville if you are attempting to reform her.”
Right guess, wrong pony he was blaming. You gulped, because Celestia was waiting. She was waiting for you to correct him on this. “Actually, sir, ahrm. I am the one trying to reform Queen Chrysalis.”
“What?!” Chancellor Neighsay was taken aback, he was not expecting that at all. “You, Anon? That is impossible. You have been upholding the ideals of the EEA for as long as I have known you. Why would you associate yourself with her. Unless…” Suddenly, Neighsay’s tone became grave as he seemed to become fearful of his own thoughts. “She has you in a trance. Anon, she must have manipulated you by pretending to be a mother figure to you. Princess Celestia, you can’t tell me you didn’t come to that same conclusion. It’s too obvious!”
“Er, actually, she did try that. And it failed, because that’s not how it works for me.” K-keep going, Anon, you have him on the defensive at the moment.
“Try? Try?! Then what is going on?! How long has this been going on?! I demand answers! Now!” Chancellor Neighsay suddenly slammed his hoof down, stepping forward as he suddenly became angry and demanding. “Princess Celestia, you, it must be you. Or perhaps it is the fault of your former pupil. To allow this fiendish queen to be out and about, knowing she’s planning an attack! I-Why?! Tell me, now!”
“Chancellor, I am going to ask you to calm down. There is indeed a reasonable explanation for this. Both Anon and I shall explain it to you, but only if you are willing to listen without interruption.” Celestia said in a stern voice, obviously getting tired of his shit.
“Oh, I can assure you that I am calm. But willing to listen? That depends, is this story honest? Is what I’m about to hear truthful? Because if it isn’t, I will find out, and I will act upon my findings myself.” Neighsay warns.
Celestia nods. “I can assure you everything we have to say is the truth. I, and Anon as well, have no reason to lie, as it would only jeopardize what we are trying to do.”
“Jeopardize, you say?” Neighsay said, skeptical of it all. “Well then, proceed, I can only assume this will be quite the tale.”
And with that, and Celestia taking on the first part of the story, you and her went along explaining to him how Chrysalis came to be in your home. You went only in depth enough with your relationship with her, leaving out things like Jimmy, but indeed mentioning the other Equestria. Celestia explained her part in this, mostly her time with Thorax and her power play on the rest of the changelings. This all went on to eventually explain the shackles on your legs, Twilight’s involvement, and what Chrysalis plans to do.
“...It is extremely unorthodox to allow one to attack somepony I hold dear, Chancellor. But given the circumstances, I can say Princess Twilight’s victory is more than guaranteed.” Celestia says, ending the long winded explanation.
“Given the circumstances…” He says to himself silently before stepping closer to you, looking down upon you as if you were his screw up of a child. “Raise your right foreleg, Anon.”
“E-er, ok? What? Do you want to see the shackles?” You ask as you reluctantly lift your leg for him.
“Precisely.” He answers as he leans his head down, taking a look at the shackles on your leg, and even giving it a little zap with his horn. “I may know very little about chaos magic, but I know a cursed artifact when I see one. A soul pact, as it were, signified by these shackles. It takes pure insanity for somepony to place this kind of curse upon themselves. Is she that hungry for revenge?”
“Not really, I think. She’s more angry than hungry, she lost her children, you know? I think she’s just desperate for one more shot before she gives in to friendship.” He didn’t seem so angry anymore. Hell, was he finally beginning to understand?
“Friendship, I hear that word more and more lately.” Neighsay said as he raised his hoof, and made a gesture for you to lower your hoof. He then eyed Celestia as he said his next words. “Influencing Anon, the hero colt, in such a way as to attempt a friendship experiment? Reputations are on the line here, Princess Celestia, for all of us.”
“What?! She didn’t influence me! nopony did! I did this on my own!” You cried out. Holy fuck, what was he fucking talking about?!
“The friendship of beings like her is something that I can expect out of Princess Celestia. You’re naïve, Anon. She nearly doomed us by pulling the same stunt on her own pupil. Luckily, your father has behaved himself since his betrayal. Not something I can be confident about when it comes to a being who is evil rather than whimsically deranged.” Oh yeah, he was starting to get on your nerves now.
“Do you think that is what it is?! I told you, I made friends with her on my own, after me and my dad pranked her! Princess Celestia, nor Princess Twilight, didn't even know about it until much later!” You nearly bark out at him, your frustration mounting.
“They didn’t have to know, they only needed to fill your head with nonsense. You’re the Hero Colt, and with friendship on your side, you can do anything.” He said, with a dark sarcasm in his tone. “The only oddity here is the curse itself. I admit, it doesn’t make too much sense to put yourself at such a terrible disadvantage, especially with no army to fight by your side. And yet you tell me she plans to reform herself should she fail.” Suddenly, Neighsay just shrugs. “It seems I have no choice but to let you have your way.”
What in the fuck?! Did he just say that?! “Seriously? Just because of that one thing, you’re just suddenly ok with it? I-I mean, that’s good. Because we are just this close to making everything work.”
But Celestia only narrowed her eyes at him, not at all trusting him in anything he said. “That isn’t like you, Chancellor. I assume there is some sort of catch.”
“You’d be correct. Since Anon here seems to be quite sure of success, then there is no reason for the EEA to intervene. Why should we? We aren’t military, so it really has nothing to do with us. However, Princess Twilight’s teachings all have to do with friendship. A dangerous concept about friendship, as far as I am concerned. As this could teach others to attempt to reform those who have only our destruction in mind, leading to deceit, chaos, and obliteration. This concept is in play at this very moment, with Anon’s supposed friend. Therefore, it is within my power to not only revoke Princess Twilight’s licenses and permits for her school, but yours as well.” Neighsay said, as he began to show a triumphant little smirk towards Celestia.
“So then, you expect me to wager my school and reputation, as well as Princess Twilight’s, on this reformation?” Celestia asked, already knowing his answer.
“Correct. And is that so difficult? If you are all so sure of success, then this shouldn’t be a problem. Let me put it more simply. If I win, we will take control of your school, and shut down Princess Twilight’s forever. If you win, I will personally be at your beck and call, and I shall be the first to approve both yours and Princess Twilight’s requests.. Refusal will mean we at least take over Twilight’s school and conduct our own thorough investigation on all matters concerning nonponies.” Neighsay said, feeling victorious and unbeatable.
“Which would lead to her school being shut down anyway, I assume?” Celestia asked.
“Who can say?” Neighsay shrugged as his smirk became ever colder. “But it seems likely.”
“Ok, that’s it! Why do you have to be an asshole?! Like, do you have no friends of your own?! You want to destroy other ponies lives just because-” But Neighsay cuts you off as a portal opens up behind himself.
“Because the safety of our own kind is the most important thing in this world! I feel sorry for you, Anon. You have been kept from reaching your full potential, and led astray by dangerous ideals. This is the only way to truly see who is right. So then, what say you, Princess Celestia? Do you accept?” He asks, looking directly into her eyes with that cocky smirk.
Celestia, she was as still as a mountain, but the venom in her eyes. You could tell, she was pissed as all fuck. But she kept her temper, and answered with grace. “I acc-” But, no, fuck that!
“You can’t-” But she interrupts you right back.
“I can!” She says, with a soft yet startling shout towards you as her eyes darted towards Neighsay. “And I will.”
“Very well. I shall leave you two alone, as you seem to have much to discuss. But know this, I would not taint the little colt further if I were you. His anger, one would think he’s becoming like that of your sister, back in a day before I even existed.” He then bowed towards Celestia “Goodbye, Princess Celestia. I pray that a mistake has not been made, by either of us.” And with that, he disappeared into the portal. “Hmm, I wonder what ‘asshole’ means”
What… In… The… Fuck!
“How in the?! Dammit! Why did you do that?! Why?! You should know a full reformation isn’t guaranteed!” No, fuck this, once again she overplays her damn hand. You just got Gary Stu’d. But on a wager in which you couldn’t Gary Stu your way through!
Celestia only continued to look forward, her expression only slightly softening until she let out an unsure sigh. “I’m aware. But one must have faith in situations like these.”
“Faith?! Ugh!” You grabbed onto your head, sitting there, until you pointed at Celestia angrily, barking at her. “Fuck that! Look, fine, I’m just gonna say it! I don’t think she’s actually going to reform! She’s too stubborn! Even after everything, she just won’t do it! She just doesn’t care enough about ponies…” You start to break down, and slam your hoof onto the ground. “Dammit, I was so close! I just needed more time! Why?! Why did you make that bet with him?! That wasn’t your decision to make!”
Celestia began to calm herself. She looked down at you, and began to frown. Did she know she ruined everything? How badly she hurt you? “Anon, I had no choice. Not only for Twilight’s sake, but for yours as well. If I had let him have his way, then you’d have lost Chrysalis, and Twilight her school. He made that quite clear. You asked for my help, and I did the best I could do.”
“The best?! Dammit! You call that your best?! You’re the fucking Princess of motherfucking Equestria! How in the fuck does he have the power to overrule you?!” You screamed at her, growled, tears in your eyes as impending doom began to encroach on you.
“Anon! Calm down. I understand you’re upset, I understand the hurt. But you are being selfish at this point. He was not going to give you any kind of chance, Nopony really would given Chrysalis’s reputation. I have put my school, my little ponies, my reputation, and Twilight’s livelihood on the line for you. I have been incredibly patient with all of this. Know this, there is a chance the worst can happen, but we really must have faith. So please…” She gently puts her hoof down on your head, and begins to pet you softly. “No more tears. You must focus, and we must prepare.”
“Tell me why then. You want me to stop being selfish? After that? Tell me why then, why does he have that power over you? I won’t ask again.” You say, as you move away from her hoof and look at her with angry sorrowful eyes.
“As Equestria expanded, so did my own need to help gifted unicorns reach their full potential. I needed to create a council that could handle matters in ways I could not. Yes, in ways that would even supersede my own judgement and biases. Given I had made a mistake before that cost me my sister, all due to my hubris, I needed somepony who was dutiful and willing to protect the ponies I hold dear. Aside from his biases, Neighsay is excellent in all other facets of his duty as chancellor of the EEA, and he cares deeply about Equestria and the ponies who reside in it. At the time, that was enough, and his love for justice and ability to be fair yet stern were admirable traits as well. But times have changed, and he obviously feels threatened by it, he feels Equestria is at stake. That is why he does what he does.” Celestia explained.
“Yeah, I said similar things myself about him. Ugh…” You plopped to the ground, feeling defeated. “I-I don’t know, what do I even do?”
“As I said, you must have faith in your friend. You are only full of doubt because of how Neighsay acted. But before that, you were always sure Chrysalis’s reformation was at hand. There is no reason to doubt, as I feel Chrysalis has learned a lot more about friendship now than she ever has before.” Celestia said, trying her best to boost your spirits.
“The problem is she has to transform into something she hates to be considered reformed. Anything less and everything is doomed anyway. She’s really angry about what you did, Princess. Losing your kids isn’t something you just shrug off.” You said, still filled with doubt now that more hung on the line.
“But they are not gone, and I’m sure they would accept her if she gave up on her hatred. Anon, I will say this once more, you must have faith. Chrysalis truly cares about you, and so, you are the key to her reformation. You have our support, but everything falls upon you and her now. Is it worth having doubt when all your focus must be placed upon her reformation?” Celestia asked.
“... No, it isn’t worth it. I just… I dunno, Neighsay just really pisses me off.” She was right, you had to steel yourself, you had to believe in Chrysalis’s ability to understand friendship. “I still have no idea how you tolerate that guy.”
“To tell you the truth, Anon, I was this close in requesting you throw him in another dimension. At least until this was all over. But that would only anger him even further.” Celestia said as she sat back on her throne, suddenly breaking out into a sweat. “It took everything I had not to lose my composure. He was intentionally trying my patience that time.”
Oho! That sounded like a very familiar idea. “I mean, I’m not against it. I could throw him in another dimension forever. I did it to the Storm King, y’know.”
“Tempting but no. In any case, I think I’m going to nap for a bit. I still have an evening ahead of me, and this hole in my schedule will allow me just enough time to release my fury in the realm of dreams. I can only pray my sister isn’t bothered by it.” Celestia says as she slowly stands up, lets out a relaxed sigh, then looks to you. “My suggestion to you is to also find a way to relax. Free your mind of your doubts, and plan for the days ahead.”
“Yeah, I was planning on going to Aunt Fluttershy’s anyways. If I’m gonna find a place to relax, it is gonna be there, because Discord is being a real jerk lately and I don’t feel like dealing with it.” You say as you place your chargeless horn on your head. “Really wish I didn’t have to use water to get back to the house. It’s really annoying when there isn’t any around.”
“You may use the kitchen if you wish, take a snack if you desire. Anon, truly, I wish you well. Just as I want you to have faith, I want you to know I have faith in you.” Celestia tells you.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m still not happy about it. Oy, I’m just gonna have to hope Deus Ex Machina favors me this time.” You groan as you begin to walk off. “Have a good nap, Princess Celestia.”
“And you have a very good day, Anon.” Celestia says, as she makes off to her room.
There you stood, in front of the cottage, staring at the family statue set beside the entrance. You were looking at the Discord statue with discontent. Fucking dickhead, sending back your sonar like that. “Asshole, thinking you’re always right. You’re lucky I don’t have a charge, or else I’d put a jacuzzi in the living room for Jimmy to use. How would you like that, huh?! Or even better, I could snuggle on Fluttershy right in front of you, and just act scared when you get close. Oh yeah, that’d get you good, wouldn’t it? Ugh, ergh, whatever. I have too much on my plate right now, I need some res-huh?” When you walked over to the door, it was cracked open, with the sounds and tweets of animals coming from inside. “That’s weird, she doesn’t usually leave the door open like this.” You peer your head inside and look around.
You could see Fluttershy, among many different animals, as she does her best to feed and nurture them as they all seemed to be making some sort of commotion. She then turned to many a bird, who seemed unhappy about something. “I really am so so sorry, if you just give me a little bit of time, I can make new nests for you to use, much better ones to keep your future babies nice and snug. Dear oh dear, what a mess. I really am sorry, I wish I was more prepared, I just didn’t think something like this would happen so suddenly… And then, erm, go away so suddenly. I hope the animals in the sanctuary are alright. I really should go, but I can’t leave you all here and… Oh, no no, Angel, it’s ok, I didn’t forget, I’m just a little busy.”
...Ah, dammit. Fluttershy seems to be having trouble. The sonar blast must have caused the animals to freak out. Good going, Anon, you didn’t mean to cause her a headache too. Seems it also destroyed a lot of nests. Luckily, somehow, it seems you didn’t end up destroying any eggs or killing any babies, that’s something at least. Well, this was your mess, so why not help out? At least with Fluttershy, she appreciates everything you do for her, even if it is admittingly not much. “Heya, Aunt Fluttershy, how are you? O-oh, is this a bad time?”
“Anon? O-oh, Anon! I-I’m sorry, things are such a mess right now and- Wait!” Fluttershy rushes over to you and gives you a hug as she sits down and cuddles you as tight as she can. “Are you alright?! You aren’t hurt, are you? There was a very scary wind that came and then came again! It scared everypony in town, not to mention scared all the animals in the forest. It even destroyed a few of their homes, the poor dears.” Fluttershy said as she looked into your eyes with her own tear filled ones. “You never left my mind, and I knew you’d be ok, but I was still so scared. But I knew, I just knew, that’d you come here if you were in trouble. And I was right! S-so, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Goddammit…
“Erm, actually Aunt Fluttershy. Um…” Fucking hell, fine. You’re on a truth streak so far, might as well end things off with a bang. Dammit, you wanted to hold off on this, but if she found out later after you just showed up, from someone else, then things could be bad. You sigh, back off, and look to Fluttershy with a somber expression. “It was me. I caused those winds.”
“W-what? Anon…” Fluttershy’s ears folded as she began to frown further, an air of disappointment around her. “Why would you do something like that?”
“Because, I just, I dunno, I overdid it? I, sorta have a lot more to the story, actually. But the wind thing, yeah, I-I was doing something important. I was trying to make sure a scary staff thing was out of Equestria, since it’s dangerous and all, and I ended up casting something that was a little too much.” You explain to her.
She looked at you silently, confused for a moment, until it suddenly hit her. “This has to do with the Storm King, doesn’t it? Anon…”
You let out a heavy sigh, that was fast. “Yeah. He got out, and… Look, Aunt Fluttershy, I already got spoken to by Twilight about this, she was already mad at me, and all this stuff, and we talked it out and everything, you can ask her yourself.”
“Anon, even then, didn’t I tell you to be careful? You could have been hurt, or somepony else could have. I-I thought this was all over…” Fluttershy said, as her disappointment began to mount.
“A-aunt Fluttershy, I can promise you, I messed up when it came to keeping him contained, but I did everything in my power to try to get him back. I thought he was gone forever, even Dad said he was gone. It just turned out he wasn’t.” You say, looking down in shame, knowing you did wrong.
But then something clicked in Fluttershy’s head, something about Discord. “Your father helped you? And he said he was gone when he really wasn’t?”
“Er, yeah, it turned out he really wasn’t trying to find the Storm King the best he could. It’s kinda why Twilight got involved. She found out after one of my classmates got foalnapped by him. I-I stopped him though, and I, er, imprisoned him in another dimension. I had to make up for my mistake, I did my best. I-I even went to see if my friends forgave me for letting it get so far. They did, but I dunno, I still feel really awful about it.” Dammit, now she was going to get pissed at you. That was the last thing you needed, for one of your only calming comforts to look down on you like this.
“I… Wait.” Suddenly, Fluttershy went wide eyed. “D-did you say foalnapped?! He foalnapped somepony too?!” It caught her off guard, and it made your heart sink, fearing of what she must be thinking at this very moment.
“Ngh…” Dammit. “Aunt Fluttershy, please. Don’t get mad at me. I really am sorry, I didn’t mean for it to go that far and-” But suddenly, she ends up hugging you close, tight, rubbing along your back to give you comfort. Wut?
“Shhhh, Anon, I-I’m not mad. I should have….” She hesitated for a moment. “I sho-should have known your father would have treated the situation very lightly. I told him things could end up getting really bad, but he ignored me. I believe you when you said you tried your best in containing him, I really do. Your father though, he had the power to make sure it didn’t go so far, and he didn’t do anything about it. If everycreature forgave you, and Twilight forgave you, then it is obvious to me you did nothing wrong at all, and I don't want to hear anymore of this 'blaming yourself' nonsense. I can feel it, you’re very very tense, Anon. Why don’t you go rest up in my room? I’ll bring you some hot cocoa to help you relax.”
Holy fuck, that was easy. Hell, you had to hide it, but you were grinning. Ooooh yes, all the blame goes to Discord, just as it should be. Bahahaha! Perfect! “A-are you s-sure? W-what about the birdies? I-I want to help.”
“Anon…” Fluttershy gave you a gentle nuzzle. “You should let me handle that. You should really rest up.”
“No, I c-can help! In fact.” You pull away for a moment, and look towards the birds perched around the room. “Listen up! I promise, tomorrow, that I will use my magic to make you all new homes! Better homes! That uses chaotic dimension shifting to make your future bird houses four times bigger on the inside, allowing easy food storage, and safety, and all that good stuff! They won’t even be affected by impact damage, it can’t even be felt as long as you’re inside, making sure your future babies are always secured, even if something happens! How does that sound?” And if the chirps were applause, you’d probably be deafened. Even the other animals seemed pleased by this. Though, Angel, he just crossed his little arms and rolled his eyes. You didn’t care if he saw through your façade, you were back on top again!
“Oh, Anon, are you really willing to do something like that?” Fluttershy asked, utterly amazed by your words.
“I managed to get three charges a day now, so it really doesn’t bother me to use one if it will help those I hurt. Plus, I don’t want you to do any unnecessary work, Aunt Fluttershy.” You tell her with a wide grin, which prompted yet another hug.
“Oh, Anon, you really are the sweetest little gentlecolt in Equestria!” She cooed, nuzzling you.
Nehehehe, haha, BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, yes, affection, yessss. Sure, your Gary Stuness as a colt backfired with Neighsay, but it sure hit a bullseye with Fluttershy. With the animals placated, Fluttershy took you to her room. She explained to you that she still had some work to do, as she had to check on the sanctuary now. There was really nothing you could do about that, and given you were in the clear, it was all good at this point. Before she left however, she did make you that hot cacao, tucked you in, and gave you a kiss on the forehead before departing. It may have not been nightime yet, but you were fucking tired. And so, you went to sleep once more.
Hours passed
“...Something like the Storm King is too much for a colt, Discord. Even if Anon is very very amazing, ignoring how potentially dangerous he is for the sake of ‘training’ is not something you should be doing. He’s just a colt! He could have been hurt!” You hear, your right eye opening and looking around in the darkness of Fluttershy’s room, a light emanating from the living room being your only source of sight.
“But he wasn’t, and he did fine! The only real problem was involving Twilight the way he did! Fluttershy, nopony was going to get hurt, truly! Do I look like the kind of spirit to let anything go wrong?” There was silence. “Well, ok then, perhaps a little. When it comes to chaos, something always must go a little awry.” There was once again a silence. “Look, you’re right, I didn’t keep track of everything, and the little filly and hippogriff could have been hurt. But need I remind you that is more Anon’s influence than mine?”
“That’s not the point, Discord.” You climbed out of bed as you heard Fluttershy speak rather angrily. You went closer, slowly going down the stairs to get a better view of the argument. “The Storm King escaped, and instead of doing anything about it, you did nothing! Anon didn’t know what to do at the time, and asked you, his father, for help. Everything that happened afterwards is your fault! I can’t imagine how angry Twilight was when she found out. Anon seemed fine, but I know her, I feel like she may have said some really harsh things to him.”
“Now, see, we can both be proud of Anon on that one since, for you, he told the truth, and for me, he told her off. Can’t we just leave it at that?” Discord asked.
“No, you could have started a war, Discord! Anon could have gotten severely hurt! And if this staff was that much of a problem, it could have led to the destruction of Equestria! Don’t you understand? You need to be a father, take responsibility, and apologize to your son. He put on a brave face when he came to me earlier, Discord, but I could tell he was blaming himself for everything. That kind of guilt is very traumatizing for a colt, especially if he thinks he’s the only one who did something wrong. You need to talk to him, Discord, you need to let him know even you can make mistakes, and that he shouldn’t feel like he did everything wrong.”
“...Have you ever considered that perhaps Anon is a little more self aware than that? Perhaps, much more?” Discord asked nonchalantly.
“Discord, I am cancelling tea time tomorrow unless you talk to your son.” OOOOOHHHH, Fluttershy laying down the law.
“I-you, er, MMNNGH.” Discord stomped down onto the ground, frustrated. He stared at Fluttershy silently, who only stared right back. It made him finally back off, causing him to slump, sigh, and shrug. “Ugh, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine… Fine. I will speak to Anon, and let him know bla bla bla.”
“Not bla bla bla, Discord. Say it right, er, please?” Fluttershy asked.
“Ugh, I… I-er-I will tell him it was my fault, and that I should have taken things more seriously, and that I should have been a father and dealt with the issue when he asked for my help. Other things too, I guess? Look, I get it, I really do. But I’d like to handle this my own way, if you don’t mind.” Discord eyes, they suddenly shifted to your position, despite the fact you were keeping yourself mostly hidden. It almost made you yip as you could see them turn a demonic red. Oh… oh, no, oohhh no. He knows now, he knew you were enjoying it. Oh no…
“Well… Alright. I know you both interact with each other very differently than normal. Just remember, Discord, I expect you to handle this like a father should, ok?” Fluttershy was calming down, seeing, in her own eyes, that Discord was being mature about it.
He clearly wasn’t. “Oh, of course, of course. Now, it is getting rather late, my dear. I did make you this special tea, just for you, to help you after a stressful day. It will relax you near immediately upon swallowing, so please, drink it right before you go to sleep, alright?” He said, that gaze making you hurriedly go back into the room and duck under the covers. Ah shit, ah shit, ah shit!
“Thank you, Discord. I want you to know, I’m not mad at you, I just want you to do what’s right, ok? Please don’t think I hate you.” Fluttershy said to him in a softer tone.
“Oh, perish the thought. In fact, you are more than right, Fluttershy, and I only feel shame. I should cancel our meeting tomorrow anyway, on account of my recent behavior. I should cancel our time together for a whole year, actually. I truly have been an awful father.” Discord said, defeated.
“Oh no no no! Discord, please! Don’t do that, no, you-” But then, the sound of Fluttershy’s voice is cut off.
Why did it cut off?
You lift the blanket, feeling a deep heat around you, an eerie red glow coming from behind as steam blasted out of pipes and vents that suddenly made up the area around you. You looked back to see a frightening looking boiler, spewing flames, and hissing loudly.
Wait a second.
“L-Lunnnaaa? Is that you? Did I fall asleep? You there? Look, if this is a joke, I already get it and-” Suddenly, your fur starts to stand on end as you hear a little girl singing from somewhere.
“1,2, Discord is coming for you.”
Oh, that son of a bitch.
“3,4 there’s gonna be gore.”
Gore?! You begin to slowly back away from the boiler, trying to keep your eyes peeled.
“5,6-” And the voice suddenly began to become more demonic “Anon’s gonna get fixed.”
Fixed?! What kind of fixed?! Hit? Or… You look down between your legs, then ahead as you begin to turn white. He really wouldn’t, would he?
“7, 8, soon you’ll meet your fate.”
And that’s when you heard it, the sound of metal claws slowly clanging on the pipes, getting ever so closer to you, no matter where you went.
“Discord! I fucking swear! You heard Fluttershy, I know you did. You can’t fucking do this to me. Hell, what are you even doing?! I know this is a dream and-GUH!” Suddenly, you stop dead cold as you bump into something behind you.
Then you hear him whisper into your ear. “9, 10, get pecked by hens.”
Wut?
You turn around to see Discord, leaning against a pipe, dressed as Freddy Kruegger, down to having his talons fitted with the long claw glove.
“That’s the best you could come up with? You say all that freaky shit, set this whole thing up, and that's what you got? HA, even with all our time together, you are still only capable of TV-Y type shi-QAEGFSEDGFDFSDFSD” Suddenly, you were overwhelmed by hens coming from the open pipes as they began to assault you with endless pecks. “NO, STOP! GYAH! NO! I PEE FROM THERE! AGH! OH GOD! OH GOD! I THINK ONE FLEW INTO MY ASS! NO, AGH, STOP! ITS LIKE A THOUSAND PENS BEING JABBED AT ME AT ONCE! OOOOOOOHHHH NOOOO!”
Discord smirked as he admired his claws, only glancing at you every other moment. “I’ll admit this, it really was mostly my fault, Fluttershy was right about that. I may have been a rather big baby about things too, which I apologize for as well. I really do, I was being a big jerk. You were right, Anon, and because of my own actions, things did not line up in my favor. I’d like things to go back to how they were between us, for all of our sake. I’d rather be your pal than a pesky nuisance, even if I do enjoy that sort of thing.”
“ADFHSFHDFHDOFSDFIHSDOFLDHJOE” You screamed.
“Ah, yes, about this… This, er, this whole nightmare scenario. You can’t tell me you didn’t deserve it. You should have realized I was still watching you after I sent your little radar wave back at you. That little smirk told me all I needed to know. I applaud you, really, I liked it.” Discord said as he clapped his gloved claws and paw together. “...But emotionally manipulating Fluttershy like that? Oh, you should have known this was coming.” He said in a dark tone before he suddenly became his jovial self again. “But yes, let us just get back to the status quo of our little friendship, alright? That alright with you, my son?”
“SDGERGERGHTHGFDGFGDFG” Oh god, they were pecking your nose too! Right in the nostrils!
“Sounds like a yes to me! I could leave you like this until you wake up. But, well, I am a father, I need to know there is a difference between punishment and torture. Soooooo…” And with a snap, everything disappeared as you fell into the darkness of dreams, screaming for dear life as you swirled into the whirlpool of darkness.
It was rough dealing with all your new friendships. Whether it was Yona challenging your head bonking skills, Ocellus being antsy about the whole Chrysalis thing, or Scootaloo wanting to try going on a true adventure like Rainbow Dash would, all of it was both a blast and a headache. Keeping up your role as coltfriend was getting a little more difficult as well, as Diamond had been wanting to visit Chrysalis again soon. Something you had been denying as you had assumed Chrysalis was going to strike soon.
She hadn’t, but you never know.
Home life resumed back to the way it was, except now Discord tried to stay away from Jimmy altogether, as he was nothing but a nuisance to him at this point.
Classes were fine, you got through them alright. And so far, there really haven't been any major disasters on your end. The Storm King was gone, the staff was gone, everything was fine. Well, almost…
Today, despite there being no classes, was a very special day, in which every student and pony in Ponyville had been invited to the stadium for a major event. You were at Fluttershy’s eating a basic cereal breakfast as she tended to some of the animals outside. Joining you was Spike, who you couldn’t help but silently stare at as you slowly chewed on your cereal.
“So, you’re not gonna say anything?” Spike asked.
You just slowly chewed.
“Not gonna say how cool they are?” Spike asked again.
You still only slowly chewed.
“You’re not jealous, are you?” Spike asked, getting annoyed by your silence.
“I have a horn that gives me cosmic power, so no” You finally answered, rather quickly, as you pointed towards him. “But explain how you got those wings again.”
“With only three charges” Spike muttered as he rolled his eyes and groaned as he leaned back on the couch “I told you, I molted.”
“Like a butterfly. Like, seriously, you literally told me you went through a whole stone cocoon… Thing. How is that even a thing? I thought you got super big as you grew up.” You were baffled. Not by the fact he had wings, but just the freaking method of it.
“That was when I was being greedy. This was natural. Basically I’m not a baby dragon anymore. Also, it is totally not like a butterfly. This is way cooler. Anon, you should have been there, I kicked some bird butt!” Spike said as he crossed his arms, looking satisfied. “And I didn’t need a super magical chaos horn to do it.”
“Uh huh.” Seriously, you just couldn’t get over it. What season were you on?! Was this really a thing? Was dimensional theory wrong?! Maybe humans develop this world instead of the other way around, because this is straight up bullshit. “Yeah, well, my horn is super tough to handle, you know that.”
“I know, but when it comes to wings, I just think it’s kinda funny I got used to mine lickety split while you still got some problems with yours.” Spike said, feeling smug after you basically tried to insult him.
You narrow your eyes towards him. “Is that a challenge?”
“Maybe, or maybe I just think you really are jealous since I don’t need magical items to be great. I'm a hero too, you know.” Spike said as he leaned back with a big grin on his face.
You scoff at that. “Dude, I could totally take you on without my magic, wings, or even my Starlight Hook. Wings or not, you’re just a baby.”
“Yeah? Or are you just being delusional after yet another knock on the noggin’?” Spike said as he began to feel an anger bubble within himself. “I gotta ask, how are you gonna take me if I just fly up and fry you?”
“Fry me? Hold on, let me get a letter ready for you to send to Celestia after I kick you around all of Ponyville first, because that’s all your fire is good for.” He thought he could take you, he really thought that?! He didn’t know how ruthless you could be if you gave it your all.
“Anon! Spike! What’s gotten into you two! Threatening each other? You both know better than that.” Fluttershy was astonished as she made her way inside the cottage, catching the tail end of the argument.
“Agh! Ugh, er! S-sorry Fluttershy, I just...” Spike gulped as he pointed at Anon. “C-can you just tell Anon my wings aren’t dumb? That’s how this got started, I felt insulted!”
“Anon!” Fluttershy gasped. “Did you insult Spike’s new wings?! Why would you do that? That doesn’t sound like you at all. Apologize, right now.”
G-guh! Dammit, fucking...“I-er, Ugh…” Ok, maybe you were out of line. But holy shit, those fucking wings, you would have broken your fucking tv at something like this, it just didn’t make any fucking sense! “Yeah… Sorry, Spike, I dunno what came over me. The wings are pretty neat. I g-guess I just got a little jealous.”
“Well…” Spike gave it a moment to think it over, then got up to pat your back. “Don’t worry about it, I’d be jealous of me too.”
Oy… You wanted to slap him for that comment.
“Good, that’s what I like to see, both of you being good friends. Remember, Anon, you shouldn’t be jealous, especially with everything you have. You should be thankful for it, and be happy your friends get such nice things too.” Fluttershy explains to you, hoping to teach you this lesson so something like this doesn’t happen again.
“Y-yes, Aunt Fluttershy. I get it now. I’m really sorry.” Dammit, Anon, just eat the damn cereal and don't make things worse.
“So, Spike, do you know what the gathering at the stadium is about? Oh, are we going to convert some of it into an animal ward? I wouldn’t mind having more space to teach my classes about animal care without having to make a long trip to the sanctuary for it.” Fluttershy said, with optimism in her heart.
“No, it probably isn’t that, Fluttershy. Heck, I don’t really know what it is, and nopony told me what it was either. Twilight’s super excited for it though. The only hint she really gave me is that it is something brand new for Equestria, something amazing.” Spike shrugged “I don’t even know what that can mean. So, I got nothing. Oh, there was something else, you’re part of the presentation, Anon.” Spike said as he pointed towards you.
“Me? Why me?” You asked, confused.
“No idea on that either, but you’re expected to be next to whatever that big tarp is hiding when this whole thing starts. Me too, actually. Apparently I’m really important for it too.” Spike said with another shrug, before he began to ponder. “I almost thought it may have been Chrysalis laying some sort of trap. Like, only pretending to be Twilight? But I feel like Scrappy would have said something. And then there’s the fact that there’s no way she could fake the way Twilight got excited about the whole thing. It’s been a whole month, isn’t Chrysalis gonna do, I dunno, something?”
You slowly look down at your shackles and sigh. “I have no idea. She’s kinda just been watching movies or riding her car around her basement. She says she’s got a big plan brewing, but she just seems to be messing around. If there was a time limit on this curse, it is taking its sweet time.”
“Movies? Oh my, I’ve been told that the movies she likes, even though they're from your world, are movies no colt should be seeing. J-just from what Twilight told me, t-t-they sound very scary.” Fluttershy said as she shivered from just thinking about it as she prepared a bowl of diced carrots for Angel.
“Well, she’s been watching random stuff these days. Last one she watched was ‘The Neverending Story.’” You say
“What? So, is it like a movie that doesn’t end? How can anypony watch that?” Spike said, confused.
“Well, er, you just sit through about an hour and a half of it… Because that’s how long it is.” You say
“That, er… Ok, then how is it the ‘Neverending Story’ then?” Spike said, even more confused than before.
“It’s just the title of the movie. Funnily enough, Chrysalis put the movie on expecting an actual endless movie too. Said she wanted to steel herself by testing her mental fortitude on focusing, what she felt, may have been a bad and most likely cursed movie.” You explain
“Oh my, that sounds dangerous. It’s not really cursed, is it?” Fluttershy asked.
“Er, no. It’s just a normal movie.” You tell Fluttershy.
“So what did she think of it then?” Spike asked.
“Well, she hated it, she got angry that it was so short, given the title. And then she went on an entire rant, for like two hours, on why the main character should have had this white dragon character eat these three bullies for revenge. I, uh, I just tuned it out after awhile.” Ugh, Chrysalis just straight hated it. You could only imagine her reaction to the second one. Hell, she might actually like the first one if she was subjected to the third one.
“Two hours?! Woah, are we sure she’s even a threat anymore? It sounds like she’s one of those really old mares at this point.” Spike said, utterly perplexed as to how the evil queen could just sound like a crabby granny.
“I… I don’t even know. I’m gonna go see her after this presentation, see if I could just convince her to just come and get this over with. I think she’s just afraid, you know? She just doesn’t want to let her hate go.” That had to be it at this point, she hasn’t really tried to do anything, not that you knew of anyway.
“Hm, well, maybe you should invite her for some tea, Anon.” Fluttershy suggests, catching both you and Spike off guard.
“Woah, what?!” You respond.
“Fluttershy, are you nuts? That’s crazy!” Spike says, blown away by her suggestion.
“Well, not really. She can’t hurt me, or the animals, so it wouldn’t be dangerous. And she was oh so pleasant when she was Nymous. I think she’s just looking for acceptance, and I’d be willing to accept her if she’s willing to visit.” Fluttershy said as she took your cereal bowl to clean it and put it away. “I wouldn’t mind watching a nice movie at the theater with her, maybe she'd enjoy a nice calmer pony movie”
“Huh…” Spike said as he began to ponder. “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”
No, it was a bad idea. Chrysalis would never accept. “Er, I mean. I-Uh. I’ll, uh, see if she’d like that when I visit her.”
“Thank you, Anon. But don’t make her feel pressured. I want her to come to the decision on her own.” Fluttershy said, giving you a cheery smile to show that she cared.
“I won’t, you can count on me.” Like, it won’t be an issue at all, because she’ll just flat out say no and be done with it.
“I know I can, and I can’t wait! I bet deep down, she’s just looking for all kinds of friends to get along with.” Fluttershy says, giving you a gentle hug as she steps towards the front door. “Is everypony ready to go?”
“Yep” Spike says as he flutters towards the door, opens it, and zips on out, hovering as he waves over to you. “C’mon! Let’s fly over there! It’ll be faster.”
“Oh my, that’s right, we all can fly now. Anon, you still remember how to fly, right?” Fluttershy asks you.
Ugh, of course you do. You sift through your saddle bag and slap on the wings. “Yeah, you just open them up, flap, and OOF!” You zip forward towards the door, hit the top part of it, and start barrel rolling like a bullet onto the little bridge ahead, falling flat on your back.
Spike had to hide a snicker as Fluttershy rushed over to you, frightened by your fall. “Anon! Are you ok?”
Ugggghhhhh… “I, er, meant to do that.” You quickly got up and began to hover in midair. “I was just testing the ole noggin, see?” You say as you give your head a knock.
“Oh.” Fluttershy said, confused. “Ok, I didn’t know you did that. A-and, that’s fine, but… H-have you been to a doctor lately? I-I’m just asking if there’s been any mention of bra-… Er, nevermind.”
“Trust me, Fluttershy. The day he cracks his head open is the day Equestria is destroyed by a bowl of spaghetti.” Spike says with a grin.
“Oh, Spike.” Fluttershy giggled. “That’s funny. You two are so silly sometimes.”
Ugggggghhhhhhhh…
The flight to the stadium was a speedy one, it seemed most everyone who was going to be there was already there, as there was a few left who were either still walking or flying over there. You could hear the rustle and bustle as the three of you flew in from above. The stadium was packed, for sure. What struck you as odd was whatever huge thing was there at the center, under a big blue tarp. Ahead of it was a small stage, with a few seats in front set for the guests of honor, namely you, Spike, Fluttershy, and so on and so forth. You could already see Twilight down there, waving towards you all to come down.
The hell was that thing? Even as you all flew down to meet with Twilight, you couldn’t figure out what could be behind the giant tarp. There was definitely some magic used on it, as it was in the shape of a half-sphere.
Twilight herself seemed super excited about the whole thing as she greeted all of you. “Fluttershy, Anon, Spike! Hello! Yes! I’m so glad you all arrived this soon! Well, I’m sure we’re all glad, since I doubt anypony wanted to wait for a long time.” Twilight said, nearly tripping over her words.
“Well, I’m glad to be here, Twilight. But, um, where are the rest of our friends?” Fluttershy asked as she looked around.
“Starlight was a bit particular about the seating this time around. It is her thing, after all, and she wants to do this presentation without criticism. I mean, I told her it wouldn’t be a problem, but she was so sure Applejack or Rainbow Dash would have something to say about it. So, yeah, they're all up over in the regular seats.” Twilight explained.
“That’s kinda rude, don’t you think?” Spike asked. Apparently he didn’t know about the arrangements either.
“I thought so too.” Twilight sighed, her excitement lowering as she further thought about it. “But she’s really super sensitive about this whole thing. She’s been working on it with Sunburst in secret, even I didn’t know about it until recently.”
“I… Didn’t even know about it. A secret project?” You asked as you began to look around the stadium. “Did she say what it was?”
“Nope. She only said it would revolutionize-” Twilight suddenly gasped, and stopped herself. “Ah! Oh, sorry, she also told me not to hint at what I do know. She didn’t want you to figure it out, Anon.”
“Uh huh…” This really was weird. And Sunburst was in on it? Ugh, you hate that guy. For reasons, most likely good ones. “Well, we’re all pretty much here then. Is something supposed to… Is that Trixie?” You ask as you point to her head poking out from behind the stage.
“Uh, yeah.” Twilight’s enthusiasm lessened even more. “I don’t know why, but Starlight wanted Trixie to do the presentation over me. I can’t imagine why, considering whatever is under that tarp is more my speed.” Twilight said with an impatient and awkward chuckle “But okay! Again, it is her thing.”
“Oh my, whatever this ‘thing’ is, it must be life changing to get you this excited, Twilight.” Fluttershy noted.
“It is, just from the vague description she gave me. And it’s all thanks to Anon, at least that’s what she said.” Twilight said as she looked towards you. “But she didn’t tell me why. Anon, would- Oh, darn it! I have to be patient!” Twilight said as she nearly slapped herself over it.
“Relax, Twilight. You’re gonna explode if you keep this up.” Spike said as he flew towards her, trying to keep her calm. “Save it for when you actually know what it is.”
God, Twilight was as giddy as a schoolgirl over this. All thanks to you, huh? Hmmm…
It… It couldn’t be, could it? Equestria doesn’t have the tech to produce something like that. Did Starlight find a way? You wandered over to the special cushy seats in front of the stage and sat down, deep in thought.
“Anon? Are you alright?” Fluttershy asked, noticing you trail off. She followed you, and sat beside you as she looked you over.
“Yeah, I’m just trying to figure out what this could be. I think I know what it is. But if it is that, I have no idea how she went about making it.” It is impossible, right? At least at this current time, with magic being such a big thing in Equestria over technology.
“Do you know what it is?” Asked Fluttershy.
“I think? I know technology in Equestria is crazy in its own way, like with the Rainbow Factory. But… Nah, it has to be just a model.” You say out loud, mostly speaking to yourself.
“A model? A model of what?” Twilight asked as she too, became curious to the way you were acting.
“I-” But suddenly, you are interrupted as fireworks explode in the sky... Even though it's daytime.
“WELCOME EVERYCREATURE, ONE AND ALL, TO THE REVEAL OF ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, AND STUPENDOUS BREAKTHROUGHS OF EQUESTRIAN TECHNOLOGY YOU HAVE EVER SEEN! YES, I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIIIIXIE WILL WOW AND AMAZE YOU WITH…” Suddenly, Trixie stops as she hears a whispering behind her. She looks back to see Starlight waving her hoof at her, and shaking her head. Trixie lets out a gigantic sigh and uses her magic to pull in a sheet, holding the microphone near her with her telekinesis as she suddenly becomes sour in tone, reading from said sheet. “Ahrm. Under this tarp is a machine made through advance engineering. By pushing the known technological boundaries beyond infinite, and using methods well beyond our space, developments can be achieved in places nopony thought possible. Indeed, most of the technology we have here in Equestria has been through the perfect blend of magic and mechanical know how. But what we present to you today is a production of pure technological prowess. Ladies and gentlecolts, we will now present you with a machine capable of flying faster than ten pegasi combined. A machine incapable of becoming tired as it’s able to make its way across Equestria twice over, perhaps even thrice.” Trixie looks back again, with Starlight this time giving her a nod. Trixie then suddenly stands on her hind hooves as fireworks begin to explode in midair. “WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, AND PLEASE TRY NOT TO EXPLODE FROM THE SHEER THRILL OF IT ALL, MAY I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIIIIXIE, PRESENT...!” The tarp finally gets pulled off, with everyone, even you, in awe of what was before you. “THE JET PLANE!”
Holy fuck. There it was. It didn’t have any weapons on it, and it was smaller than your typical jet plane, but holy fuck, she did it. She actually did it.
"... Meh, it's not as amazing, spectacular, or stupendous as the queen and Master Applebloom." Said a voice.
"WaWHAHDAS" You suddenly fall forward in shock when you see that Scrappy was standing above you on the backrest of the chair. "When did you get there?!"
Scrappy shrugged. "When I had to guard the Queen's enemy, Twilight Sparkle. Why?"
"No, I mean... Ugh, never mind." You'll never understand that changeling. He's either highly incompetent or scary efficient at what he does. It unnerves you.
“So, what do you all think?” Starlight said with a grin as she beckoned you all closer to the jet.
After Trixie’s opening words, it was announced that the main event would be ready soon, it gave Starlight and Sunburst enough time to properly show you the jet from all sides. It really was smaller than most jets, and the wings, the way they were shaped, you’d think the jet looked like a kite of sorts.
“It looks so cool!” Spike said as he excitingly flew up and looked through the cockpit canopy to see two seats and many different buttons and doodads. “This thing is gonna fly? Really? It looks like it can tear through mountains!”
“Er, no, it definitely can’t tear through mountains.” Starlight said with a nervous chuckle. “But it totally can fly. I’ve been through the plans over and over, and the pegasi engineering team Princess Cadance commissioned for me says our custom engine is ready to go.”
“A custom engine? Huh, I’ve never heard of any kind of engine that could move something like this before, much less fly. Tank’s little copter is basically some of the best a magic engine can do without burning out.” Twilight said as she pondered on it, she then grinned towards Starlight. “So how does it work then? How much magic does it use? What’s used as the ignition system? I want to know everything!”
“Ah, erm, well…” As Starlight began to step back, caught off guard by Twilight’s major interest, Sunburst steps in for her, adjusting his glasses as he began to explain.
“I actually am the, er, designer of the engine, in which I based everything on the blueprints provided to me by Starlight. You see, well, um, the engine itself is rather complicated. To start, we knew we needed some kind of cooling system for how much heat our proposed fuel source would produce. Thankfully, and luckily, ahm, Princess Cadance was happy to lend me her services to commission a team of pegasi engineers who could help with some of the components I required, given they were, well, the only ones with a suitable cooling unit. You see, well, the er, yes, the machine that produces cold air and snow, well, we had a miniature version of it made to be installed inside the jet. It should be obvious what it does, but if I need to say anything further, it keeps the engines from overheating. Then there are the hover jets located under the plane there, there, and here. We used a separate engine for those consisting of three converted storm machines to produce the winds needed for lift, while using specialized lightning rods to absorb and store electricity to help supplement the magic already inside the engine. As for the fuel source… Er… Ow!” Suddenly Starlight nudged him, and took over.
“The fuel source is right here!” Starlight said as she pulled out an odd cylinder. “It’s why we needed you, Spike. We need a puff of flame to get it going. We’re just gonna pop it in and then the jet will be ready to fly!”
“Oh, neat!” Spike said as he came back for a landing, looking the cylinder over. “Do I just blow in this hole?”
Starlight nodded “Yup, and then I’ll install it into the jet.”
Fluttershy came closer, looking the cylinder over, confused by it as she pointed at it. “What’s inside? I’ve never heard of anything just needing dragon flame before.”
“Well, actually, I’ve never heard of anything needing dragon flames either. Then again, we still don’t know too much about dragons. Did you two discover something new?” Twilight asked.
Sunburst looked to Starlight with a furrowed brow, and then grunted towards her. It looks like he wanted to say something, but something was stopping him.
“Ah, ahrm, Princess Ember actually helped with that one. It’s just a little stone we happened to read about in an old book Sunburst has. Turns out it was perfect for getting the plane going.” Starlight said with a big wide grin, as she began to sweat just a bit.
Sunburst’s mood suddenly soured as he took off his glasses to wipe them. “Yes, well, perfect for testing purposes anyway, given we don’t have any other source of fuel yet. The fuel from the blueprints doesn’t exist in Equestria. In fact, thirty percent of the jet is mostly improvised. The metal material used is the same kind pegasi use to keep their structures from falling through the clouds, a material that allows the jet to fly even faster when traveling through clouds due to a remarkable reaction that causes gravity to have no effect on it as long as it is within the clouds themselves. Hmm…” His eyes suddenly shift towards Starlight. “But yes, the fuel we’re using is suitable, again, for testing purposes.”
Something was up alright. And if it was as obvious as it seemed to be, then there was something dangerous about the fuel source. You watched as Spike blew a flame into the cylinder, in which Starlight, in haste, popped it into a slot that was located under the jet. Given how fast she crammed it in, there was something that was most definitely off. “Where did you guys even make this thing? Where did you find the time? I thought you were at the school most of the time, Starlight.”
“I am, but there are off days, Anon. Me and Sunburst would meet back at my old town and use my shack as a sort of headquarters as we looked over blueprints, planned with our assigned team, and tested everything. We, like, tested everything. This plane is actually a prototype, it itself hasn’t actually flown yet, something I’m planning on fixing today.” Starlight said as she looked proudly upon her creation. “I already gave it a name, the Kite oh oh.” Or really, as it said on the wing, the Kite-00. A little on the nose, but it is her thing.
“We haven’t exactly tested everything yet.” Sunburst said as he gave Starlight a hard look. “I wanted to perform a proper stress test first, given we haven’t checked… Well, how our fuel source handles the load of the plane itself. We only have theoreticals based on individual tests. Even then, testing the engine while the jet is grounded would only give us partial data.”
“Are you saying it's dangerous to actually fly the plane, Sunburst?” Twilight asked.
“O-of course not! That’s not what he said!” Starlight said as she quickly and nervously interjected. “If anything, that’s why we have the cooling unit the way it is, the co-pilot can even put it into a temporary overdrive if something begins to overheat. I made sure everything was compensated for, and…” She gives a hard look back at Sunburst. “It’s not like I’m going to overdo anything. It’s a simple demonstration of the jet. Nothing crazy, no stunts, just showing it off. Flying the plane is the only proper way to fully test it, and even then, we have so much testing data already, we already know what we can do and not do. The storm engines even work as intended, I got the jet into the stadium without a problem using those alone.”
Sunburst seemed like he really wanted to say something at this point, but he rolled his eyes, and gave up. “Yes, yes, we do have a lot of data. I-I just wanted to make sure nopony, including my best friend, was going to get hurt. But alright, I suppose I am worrying too much. I-I don’t know, I, well, I think I do know actually. I…” Sunburst sighed and gave Starlight a look of concern. “Just… Just do one quick run, and land the plane, ok? Please? I’m running all these numbers in my head and there’s still a chance of…” He looked back at all of you before looking back at Starlight. “Possible ‘problems’ that could be considered a catastrophe depending on who’s looking at it.” He whispered hard at Starlight
Starlight refused to back down, but she at least acknowledged his concern as she gave him a warmer smile and looked towards you. “Sunburst, I promise to keep it professional. Just a quick flight, that’s all. That’s why I’m taking Anon with me. He does have a deep understanding on how this works, and I’m sure his magic could help keep things together.”
Wut? You didn’t know how fucking jets worked. “Really? I mean… Really?”
Starlight nodded. “Yeah, you did give me the blueprints after all, I assume you know enough about jets to make a suitable co-pilot. Everything is simpler to read than what’s on a human jet, given the engine pretty much maintains itself. All you really need to do is make sure the overheat lights don’t blink red, that we’re maintaining proper pressure, stuff like that.”
“Wait!” Fluttershy suddenly cuts in as she realizes what Starlight is asking. “Why does this all sound so dangerous? You can’t really expect Anon to be on that scary thing, can you?” Fluttershy leans in and whispers to her “Anon can’t really fly too well. I don’t want him to do something wrong and get both you and himself hurt.”
“Fluttershy, it’ll be fine. Anon is super mature for his age.” Given Starlight knew your real age, she really literally meant that. “I mean, do you want to be my co-pilot, Anon?”
Wut? “Given Trixie’s presentation, I thought she’d be your… No never mind, I’m not gonna finish that thought.”
Starlight looked over at Trixie, who was still on stage as she began to set up more fireworks, probably for the flight of the jet itself. “I’d love to have her as a co-pilot, I just don’t think my ears would love it, if you know what I mean. Anyway, we’re going to be going pretty fast in this thing when we do a pass by the stadium. I plan to at least go a little past mach one.”
“Oh, I can actually answer that one, Aunt Fluttershy. That’s the speed of sound, we’re going to be going faster than that, creating a sonic boom in the process!” Boy did you feel smart saying that.
“Oh my, a sonic boom? Like a sonic rainboom? Can this thing fly faster than Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked.
Both you, Sunburst, and Starlight nodded to that.
Which then grabbed Twilight’s attention. “That fast? How fast are we talking, exactly?”
“W-well, given the engine, and the build of the jet…. Erm, we theorize a speed of mach two point five.” Sunburst explained.
Twilight’s jaw dropped. “WHAT?! NOTHING IS THAT FAST! NOTHING!”
Starlight’s grin, it became smarmy there, as she waved her hoof at Twilight. “Thiiiiiiis is. We don’t even have to dive towards the ground to do it either, it really is that fast… Theoretically, but very possibly.”
“Oh boy, theoretically or not, don’t even mention that to Rainbow Dash.” Spike said as he already began rubbing his head. “A machine flying faster than she can?” Spike suddenly shuddered at the thought. “Rainbow would become like you did when you didn’t have a lesson for Princess Celestia, Twilight.”
“Spiiike.” Twilight whined. “Why does everypony seem to mention that all of a sudden?”
“Oh, if I did, I d-didn’t mean to, Twilight.” Fluttershy said most apologetically.
Christ, A full on ‘Lesson Zero’ Rainbow Dash. There’s a scary fucking thought, Spike was right to shiver like that, that’s fucking scary. Like, she’d probably end up like how the fandom interprets Pinkamena. But then… “Isn’t she gonna find out anyway when we fly the jet?”
“Well, I guess I can go at just mach one.” Starlight said with a groan. “She shouldn’t complain at all, to be honest. She’s still the fastest pony around when it comes to natural speed… It just so happens that my ‘kite’ is faster.”
You know what? You wanted to be a part of that, you wanted to see Rainbow Dash lose her shit at something like this, something that could at least match her speed. “Ok, if it’s that fast then, er, I’ll be your co-pilot. I can be her co-pilot, right Aunt Fluttershy?” You say as you give her the big sad colt eyes, even rubbing your right forehoof on your forehead like a cat.
“I- Anon, ummm. How safe is this plane, exactly?” Fluttershy asked both Sunburst and Starlight on this, deeply concerned that you could just be putting yourself in a metal screaming deathtrap.
“Er, it’s safe, relatively speaking.” Sunburst said as he suddenly felt deep guilt for saying that, given how he felt before.
“Fluttershy, I promise you, nothing is going to happen while Anon is with me. Think of it, your nephew, a big part of revolutionizing how everypony travels. Doesn’t that sound amazing?” Starlight said, trying to get her to agree.
“But what’s wrong with what we have now? It just… It just all seems safer than something like this.” Fluttershy said, feeling she was sure a flying metal machine could be dangerous.
“Well, what about blimps? One little pop and the whole thing goes down. And pegasi pulled chariots? All you need is for one of them to get a stomach ache or a sudden flu and BAM, they fall into certain doom! With this, Anon will at least be secured by all this metal.” Starlight said with a big grin towards her, using her magic to toss a rock at the plane, doing nothing to it. “See? Not even a dent.”
“Well… Ok, but I think he should wear a helmet” Fluttershy requests, despite the irony. She even gets closer to Starlight to whisper. “I don’t know, but I feel I need to check him into a hospital sooner or later. I feel like his head might be calloused… I-I don’t even know if that’s possible, but I just don’t want him hitting his head, ok?”
“No problem, there are helmets waiting on the seats for both me and him. So, is that a yes, for sure? Maybe?” Starlight asks as she rolls her hoof around, trying to get a definitive answer.
Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, as long as Anon is absolutely sure he can handle it.”
“Tch, of course I can. I’m the hero colt, remember? And I’m sure this thing is the sturdiest thing in all Equestria.” You said. With a wicked grin as you approached the jet.
“Then ok. But, Anon! Wait!” Fluttershy calls out to you as she rushes towards you, and stops, giving you a kiss on the forehead. Which… Causes the entire crowd looking down at you to let out a sigh of contentment over the cute display. “Ok, now you can go.”
“T-thanks, Aunt Fluttershy.” You hop up to give her a kiss on the cheek, before going back towards the plane. “I’ll be ok, really.”
“Don’t worry, Fluttershy. Trust me, everything is going to be alright.” Starlight reassures her, before joining you.
Using her magic, Starlight opens the canopy of the jet and lifts both you and herself onto the seats. As the canopy closes, you take a look at what you had to ‘play’ with, which wasn’t a lot. “Huh, I was expecting it to be somewhat computery. Everything looks so simple. I see some overheat lights, and something for the landing gear, speedometer, altimeter, somethingers. Ejection buttons, that's neat. What’s this handle for again?”
“That’s for you to pull just in case any of those overheat lights start blinking.” Starlight said as her excitement began to mount. She used her magic to plop on your helmet as she plopped on hers. “And check this out! These helmets are enchanted with a spell that lets you see through clouds! I bet humans didn’t have a helmet like that, huh?”
“No… No they didn’t, that's kind of cool. But, er, Starlight, I gotta ask you a question.” Because you did make a note of it. Everything from her dodgy responses to Fluttershy to Sunburst’s annoyance and choice of words.
“What’s that?” Starlight asked, as you could hear clicking going on from the pilot’s seat.
“What’s really going on with this jet? You and Sunburst were acting really funny about how safe this thing was. So what is it? It’s the engine, isn’t it?” You ask her, rather directly.
Starlight let out a heavy groan. “C’mon, Anon. I have checked everything over fifty times, the engine is fine. I mean, you’ve never heard of dragonstones, have you?”
“No, what are they?” You asked, hazarding a thought that they might be as dangerous as the name implies. Because they sure as hell don’t grant wishes.
“Well, as Princess Ember explained it to me, they are special gems that young dragons use to prank each other, or to throw into volcanoes. They can only be found in the deepest caverns in the dragon lands, and when introduced to extreme heat, along with the flame of a dragon, they start to produce a lot of potential energy, just waiting to be let out. Using my heavily modified engine, we are able to use that potential energy as kinetic energy, creating thrust! So, what’s the problem?” Starlight asked.
“Well, you got overheat lights for one. What happens if any of these things overheat? Do they explode?” Yeah, that was probably it. “They explode, don’t they?”
Starlight let out a strange noise, she knew she was caught. “Y-yes… Yeah. Buuuuut, they’re only temporary. Even then, we have so many safety systems in place, that there’s nearly no chance of that happening. Besides, we’re only going to do a simple run and-GYAH!” Starlight yelped out as a familiar blue pegasus smacked onto the canopy.
“HOLY CRAP!” Even you were spooked, Rainbow Dash just flew right in and started to bash at the canopy.
Starlight lifts the canopy as Trixie’s voice can suddenly be heard. You both could hear her explaining the top speeds of the jet and how it could best any pegasus in Eques- Oh, that was probably the reason. Rainbow Dash hovered upwards, looking down at the both of you with disdain. “Faster than any pegasi, huh? Is that right? Did everypony suddenly forget I can do the Sonic Rainboom? You did! Didn’t you! And Anon, you’re in on this?! Didn’t I teach you better than that?”
You raise an eyebrow at her. “You trained me, that’s it. Look, let me just say it now so there isn’t a problem. You’re still the fastest in Equestria, nopony can say you aren’t. It’s just this machine is faster. But, you know, it’s a machine, it shouldn’t matter to you that much.”
“You’re sounding like Flim and Flam there, Anon. There is nothing, neither pony nor whatever this is, that is faster than me. So how about it, wanna prove how fast it really is, then race me.” Rainbow Dash challenged as she beckoned with her hoof. “And I better get a good challenge out of this thing, because, you know, you’re my friends. I don’t want to humiliate you too hard, ya know?”
DID SHE JUST COMPARE YOU TO-
You just narrow your eyes at her and nod. “Ok.”
You’d think Starlight would have freaked out at that, but then you remember, she isn’t Twilight. She too looked rather angry at being mocked, giving Rainbow Dash the same expression you were giving. “To Manehatten.”
“What?!” Rainbow Dash said in surprise. “I was thinking to at least Canterlot, Manehatten is too far to do in a single race.”
“You hear that, Anon? Manehatten is too hard for her to do in a single race.” Starlight said with a chuckle.
“I think it’s too easy for us, I was gonna say the Crystal Empire to be honest.” You say with a shrug.
“What?! But I like Rainbow Dash’s idea! We can fly to Canterlot, and crash it into the castle! It’s not a starship, but it’ll do!” Said Scrappy, who somehow got behind you, sitting at the top of your seat.
“Scrappy, get out of here already!” Sheesh! You had to shoo him away with your hooves. The hell did he even come from.
“Hmph, I was only joking… Kinda, depends on Master Applebloom’s reaction.” Scrappy said with a snort, as he grew wings within his dog form and flew off.
“Ok then…” Starlight said, befuddled by that exchange before looking back at Rainbow Dash. “So, Manehatten? Or do you want to call the whole thing off? I’d hate to have to embarrass you, Rainbow Dash. You’re my friend, ya know?” Starlight said, giving her a condescending wink.
Rainbow Dash started to calculate the best she could in her head, it almost looked like her mane was going to burst into flame trying to figure out whatever was going on. She looked back, and started to mutter something. Until finally… “Manehatten, huh?”
“Manehatten and back.” Both you and Starlight say at the same time.
Rainbow Dash gulped at first, until suddenly she became as angry as a stirred up hornet. “Hey! You’re just trying to scare me off, aren’t you?! Well, you know what?! I just realized that I’m so fast, I can get to Manehatten, take a big rest, and fly all the way back here before that hunk of junk even reaches the halfway point! So how about that, huh?!” Rainbow Dash challenged.
“Works for me, you can even have a head start. Good luck!” Starlight said as she quickly closed the canopy and leaned back with a groan. “Uuuuuugh, way to go Trixie, totally off script.”
You shrug. “Whatever, look, if this thing is as fast as you say, we should be able to beat Rainbow Dash in like twenty minutes, maybe less. Right?”
“Yeah, actually, if we go at maximum thrus- Oh no.” Starlight’s pupil’s shrunk, as she became frozen in fear at what she just suggested. “Maximum thrust, in a race, to Manehatten, that far… Ooooooh good, we’re going to either be big fat failures… Or great big fireballs.”
“Starlight, what’s the matter?” You ask as you slap on your horn.
“Oh, nothing, just realizing we’ll be pushing the greatest creation in all Equestria to its limit, creating, then, the greatest fireworks show in Equestria, that’s all.” Starlight said in a low voice.
“Yeah, yeah, that can happen.” You say calmly. “I can even say this is a hypocritical moment. What, with you telling me how dangerous Chrysalis is, while you try to pull off a dangerous stunt like this.”
“N-gh, u-uh… Y-you’re right.” Starlight said as all her enthusiasm began to drain out of her. “I really messed up. I don’t even know what I was thinking. This whole thing is hypocritical of everything, ponykind wasn’t meant to have something like this.” Starlight said as she leaned forward, looking down in shame.
“Probably… Then again, I do have a horn that could keep things together and make sure we don’t end up a giant fireball. Know what I’m saying? It wouldn't even be cheating.” You just wanted her to acknowledge she too was doing something dangerous, that was it. You fully intended to beat Rainbow Dash. And fuck, If Rainbow Dash does accuse you of cheating, you were sure Fluttershy would go down her throat for that accusation.
“Huh?” Starlight turned her head back, looking behind the seat to see you smirking, pointing at your horn. Suddenly, she began to smile, then smirk, as her hope began to return. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”
“I thought you weren’t using human curses.” You say, grinning back.
“Only during work, Alright, let’s… Let’s do this then, Rainbow Dash took the whole head start thing seriously, and I refuse to lose to her.” Starlight said as she began to start up the engines. “Starting storm powered hover jets, stabilizers are in place, and preparing for liftoff!”
“W-woah!” Damn, the storm engines were loud as fuck, but maybe that was because it sounded like a literal storm was going off inside the jet. “Sheesh, you weren’t kidding about the hover jets, huh?”
“Nope, but I knew those would work, for sure. Now? Oh yes, here comes the best part, you ready?” Starlight asks as she prepares to start the main engine.
“Maybe? Think we should give her a bit more of a head start?” You ask, rather coyly.
“Nah. She probably only even took the head start because she figured she’d never be able to make the distance without wearing herself out. But this baby? Well, you can’t wear out a machine.” Starlight said with a cackle.
“No you can’t. Ok, Starlight! Let’s GOSRBORGFHBNOFBJNSFD” Oh shit, the acceleration on this thing! HOLY SHIT! YOU WEREN’T READY TO GO THIS FAST!
“YEAH! IT’S WORKING!” Starlight yelled out as the skin on the side of her mouth began to flap backwards. “Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y! Y-y-y-yeah! HAHA! Feel that s-s-s-speed!” She said, unable to keep her voice steady due to the speed and excitement. Starlight then hit a switch, causing everything to feel more stabilized. “There we go! Haha! Another great thing you can do with magic, stabilize the cockpit. I really shouldn’t, but It’s hard to focus on piloting when your face is becoming as flat as a pancake.” Starlight, not taking her eye off the skies, says with pure exhilaration in her voice. “How are you doing, Anon?”
You reply by hurling onto your bottom hooves.
“I… Huh. Maybe Fluttershy was right, you could be getting ill from all those headbonks.” Starlight said as she checked the engines on her end. “Ok, so far so good. Anon, for now, just use the handle whenever you see any of the engine lights blink. Don’t pull on it too hard, or you may end up icing up the whole thing. And er, if we go critical anyway, well, your horn really can make sure we don’t explode, right?” She asks.
You reply by hurling… again.
“Ok then, I’ll just wait til' you’re settled then.” Starlight said
“I really can’t believe this, I’m soaring in the air at incredible speeds! This is working a lot better than anypony could have thought. Don’t you agree, Anon?” Starlight asked as she kept the plane at a brisk pace. Nothing too fast, perhaps, even a little slower than Rainbow Dash. You couldn’t tell, as her magic kept you from feeling any more G-forces from the speed of the jet and Rainbow Dash was nowhere in sight.
“Yeah, everything seems to be stable too.” You lift the visor on your helmet to get a good look at the clouds Starlight was tearing through. You really were moving fast, just not ‘mach’ fast. “Weren’t we racing Rainbow Dash though? I don’t think we passed her yet.”
“Oh, we’re still racing alright. I just want to sneak up on her first and wait for her to go full speed.” Starlight let out a reassured sigh, one of arrogance. “Oh, it’s gonna be great. Once she goes full speed, we go full speed. I gotta warn you though, the magic stabilizers can only do so much.”
“What do you mean by that?” You asked
“It means you’re cleaning up your own puke when this is over.” Starlight said as she began to peer forward for Rainbow Dash. “Would have been nice to have a working radar. But I just couldn’t figure out how to even get started with something like that.”
You looked down at the small pool of puke you had made on the side of your seat. “Sheesh, I just got caught off guard, that’s all.” She didn’t have to call attention to it, it was an accident. Ugh, yeesh, maybe she did have to call attention to it. Thinking of it like that made you seem like a baby.
“I know, but you’re still cleaning it up.” Starlight said as she focused her sights on spotting Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” You groan as you continue to stare at the passing clouds. For a chase, this wasn’t as exciting as it could be. And… You did have three charges, so why not? This spell would fit the occasion.
Starlight suddenly lost focus when she heard music playing around her. “What the? What is-”
“Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar”
“That music? Where is it coming from?” Starlight said as she continued to look around. “Anon, do you hear that?”
“Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go”
Starlight then looks back at you, as you give her a cool grin, your horn sparking atop your forehead.
“Highway to the Danger Zone Ride into the Danger Zone”
“This music…” Starlight went silent for a moment, realizing it was you who summoned it. “I feel…”
“Headin' into twilight Spreadin' out her wings tonight”
“I feel it. I feel it in every bone in my body.” Starlight continued as her focus shifted to the throttle.
“She got you jumpin' off the deck Shovin' into overdrive”
“Overdrive…” Starlight licked her at her muzzle hungrily as she looked at the throttle once more, brought her hoof over it, and pushed it forward. “HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE! RIDE IN-Oh er, t-take you into the DANGER ZONE!” Starlight yelled out, flubbing up the lyrics to a song she didn't know.
“Are you feelin’ it, Starlight?” You said with a snicker.
“You'll never say hello to you Until you get it on the red line overload You'll never know what you can do Until you get it up as high as you can go”
“Oh, I’m feelin’ it alright. I don’t know what it is. I can’t begin to describe it but…” As the jet began to go faster and faster, both you and her could feel the force of the plane pushing through the stabilization magic. You were ready this time, bracing yourself, as Starlight herself leaned forward as she spotted Rainbow Dash doing her best to maintain high speeds. “We’re doing it…”
“Out along the edges Always where I burn to be”
“We’re going to go beyond the beyonds, you and me. Pushing magic and technology to an inconceivable level, that beyond even Starswirl’s skills.” Starlight began to say, louder and louder in her tone, like she was reaching a climax.
“The further on the edge The hotter the intensity”
“To the pinnacle, to the highest place possible!” Starlight, as if she really was some sort of ace pilot, is able to fly above Rainbow Dash with ease, and begins matching her speed as she flips the jet lower to look down at her. She didn't care about her plan anymore, she was in the zone. “And that place is…”
“Highway to the Danger Zone Gonna take it right into the Danger Zone Highway to the Danger Zone Ride into, the Danger Zone”
You both began to sing as you and Starlight looked down upon Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe her eyes, she was about to do her Sonic Rainboom, she was nearly at top speeds, conserving her energy for this moment, and somehow, she was already bested before she could reach it. She was utterly shocked as she looked upon you and Starlight, you both were singing as her own ears were near deafened by the engine of the jet. “N-no way!”
“GONNA TAKE IT RIGHT INTO THE DAAAANGER ZOOONE!” Starlight sang as she finally hit mach speed, breaking through the sound barrier and blasting Rainbow Dash backwards. You stopped singing as you had to brace yourself further, the stabilization magic not doing the best job in maintaining the G-forces. But Starlight? She was just singing along with the song as the jet went faster and faster and even faster still.
You could now tell the speed you were going at was extremely intense, you didn’t have to look down to see how fast you were passing everything up. Were you at mach two at this point? You couldn’t tell, you were doing everything in your power to maintain your composure.
“Aw, the song is over. Anon, put it on again! C’mon, c’mon! That was so awesome and…” Starlight realizes the speed she was going at, and slows things down as she looks back at you. “Anon, are you ok? You’re not going to puke again, are you?”
“I-I’m fine. Oooohhh, I was not expecting that.” You said as you took a few breaths to help center yourself.
“Neither was I. I don’t know what that was, but that song, it just made me feel so amazing, like I could push things even further beyond and… Wait, what’s the condition of the engine? Is it ok?!” Starlight asked, frantic, realizing what she did could have overcharged the dragonstones.
“Oh, uh, the lights are all green. Why are there seven of them though? I thought the dragonstone was the thing we had to be worried about.” You asked.
“Oh, that. There’s actually seven stones in use right now. The one Spike breathed on is basically the ‘main reactor’, feeding its heat down to the other six stones. It’s how we’re able to move so fast.” Starlight explained.
“Seven? Ok… What would happen then, if all seven went critical?” You asked, worried about what the consequences would be, despite the fact you had your horn.
“Er, well, we’d probably be vaporized. But it’s ok, because we have your horn. So, uh, speaking of. What spell do you have in mind to make sure the dragonstones don’t explode?” Starlight asked as she maintained speeds a little past mach one.
“I… Don’t know, actually. Given it’s chaos magic, I’d have to make sure the spell is unpredictable or ridiculous or something like that. And I don’t think summoning a fire extinguisher with legs is good enough.” Oh boy, you probably should have given that part a little more thought, given a foul up would apparently ‘vaporize’ you.
“Magical troubleshooting book.” Starlight said as she began to dip downwards, gently, towards the ground.
“Magical troubleshooting book?” Wut?
“Yeah. A troubleshooting manual you can use to make adjustments you’d not normally be able to make. Not only would that be useful, but we should be able to try a lot of things to cool the stones down without using another charge.” Starlight said, before letting out a chuckle. “Good idea, huh?”
“Er, yeah, actually. Let me just…” And just like that, you had a magical troubleshooting manual with many blank pages you could use to implant suggestions. “There we go. This should work perfectly. How did you even think of something like this so fast?”
“Do you remember Discord’s clones?” Starlight asked
“Ew, yeah, especially One. Wait, why?” Why did she mention them?
“Well, One was pretty serious about treating me as the end all, be all of everything. He gave me a small crash course on how chaos magic works. I guess he thought I was going to become some queen of chaos or something. Anyhoo-” But you interrupt with raucous laughter, gaining the ire of Starlight. “What’s so funny?”
“Just, you, as a queen of chaos. That’s hilarious. You’re way too frantic for something like that. Like, there’s just no way.” You say, still chuckling at the thought. “The worst you’d do is probably-” But this time she cuts you off, as she answers with the ‘worst’ she’d do.
“Create a world without cutie marks whatsoever? Chucking ponies into other dimensions on a whim? How about turning you into a snake so I can wear you around my neck like some evil comic book villain? Oh, I could fly around on a giant kite, shooting lasers down on all those who defy me. How does that sound?” Starlight said, before letting out a little chuckle herself. “Or I could just play that song again at my leisure.” She then suddenly then sounded rather serious, and insulted over your previous words. “Or do you want me to think of something even worse?”
“Woah, ok, ok. I didn’t mean to insult you. I didn’t even know you were that sensitive about it. What, are you that interested in chaos magic?” You asked, trying to be more cautious with your words.
Starlight sighed. In truth, she was only tense due to Rainbow Dash, the race, and the fact the jet was still a prototype. She didn't want to admit it, but Sunburst's words still irked her. It made her take your words as more of a hurtful insult than it should have been. “No… No. I dunno why I even got mad. Look, forget I said anything and let’s focus on where we are. Actually, hey, look there! The statue! We’re almost there!” Starlight said as she pointed forward.
“Yeah, I s- Geez, Starlight, pull up!” Yeah, you could see it alright, it was coming right at the both of you. Or rather, you both were going straight towards it.
“Yikes!” Starlight pulled up as hard as she could, causing the jet to quickly climb and suddenly spin out of control. “C’mon, c’mon! No, no, no!”
“Agh! Starlight! Shit! Shit! What do we do now?!” You had no idea what to do in this situation, you had half a mind to just teleport you and her out of there.
“Wait! I almost! ALMOST!” The jet slowly came out of a spin as Starlight was able to reverse direction with a wide arcing vertical U-turn. “YEAH! DANGER ZOOOONE! I GOT IT!”
And at that point, you had already felt sick to your stomach. “F-fuck, that was… Wait.” You looked around, seeing that the jet had managed to regain control of itself. “We’re ok? Christ, what in the fucking he-.” You then realized something else, a strange oddity. “That maneuvering. Starlight, don’t take this as an insult or anything, but how in the hell did you get so good at piloting? How did you even learn to pilot this thing?”
“It’s like flying a kite, Anon. Especially the kind of kite you enchant and try moving around with a makeshift flight stick. And…” Suddenly, Starlight nearly hurled herself as she lurched forward “Who am I kidding, that was luck. I didn’t even know if I could get this thing back in my control. I feel sick.”
“Wait, no no. Don’t sell yourself short, that was actually pretty amazing. Just… How did you miss the fact we were heading into that statue?” You asked. She had to have been focusing, right?
“I don’t know. I was just, staring at it, staring at everything really. Everything is nearly a blur when you’re going this fast. It’s kind of mesmerizing, don’t you think?” Starlight asked, still in wonderment at the view, and the speed she was going at.
“Yeah, it actually is. Hmn… Look, I’m not usually the philosophical kind of guy, but I don’t think any of us are ready for this yet. One mistake, one moment of losing focus, and somepony would end up as a fireball. Not to mention the fact that Pegasi can be flying around doing their jobs, we might end up hitting one. You know what I’m saying?” Yeah, you could see why air travel in Equestria couldn’t handle something like this. Pegasi work with clouds, it’d only take one disaster with them, or a plane crash, to have jets banned altogether, given how violent either scenario would end up as.
Starlight was silent, obviously in deep thought. She began to slow the jet some as she took just a little more time to think about it. Finally, she let out a sigh. “Ugh, you’re probably right. All this, and it’d just be too dangerous for anypony or anything that is flying in the air. Could you imagine one of these crashing into Cloudsdale? I’m surprised I was able to fly this far without hitting anything at all… Er, except almost hitting that statue.” Starlight let out a sigh, knowing this was probably as far as she was going to get. “It’s a shame, really. I mean, I’d like to think ponykind could eventually advance enough to handle this kind of technology but…” Starlight stopped, sighed yet again, and shook her head. “Nevermind, let’s just get back to Ponyville.”
“Sorry, Starlight, really. If it makes you feel any better, this really was a great ride. We got past Rainbow Dash, we went in the danger zone, I… puked. And all things considered, you’re an amazing pilot, given this is your first flight.”
Starlight went silent, and blushed out of embarrassment. It actually cheered her up pretty good to hear something like that. “That’s because I’m the GREAT AND POWERFUL STARLIGHT!” Starlight said rather boisterously, in a manner similar to Trixie. She then let out a cheerful giggle. “Haha, I can see why Trixie likes to say that now. Hm, y’know, Anon, since we’re both up here. Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” Hm, you wondered what she was going to ask.
“Say we did put weapons on this thing, do you think we’d be able to take down any threat? You know, like, a fully powered up Tirek? You think we’d be able to take him down?” Starlight asked, without a hint of hesitation in her voice.
“Probably, would probably turn him into a puddle with the right type of missile. Or we could just crash into him. Heh, Starlight, I thought you didn’t want weapons on this thing.” Nehehe, maybe she liked the idea of it all of a sudden now that the dream is dead.
“I don’t, I was just imagining what would happen if it did have weapons. I dunno, maybe this project can still be salvaged later in the future, I’ll just put this baby in storage and just do some more research on the side, just in case. Could be useful if we ever have to deal with some villain who likes to fly or something. Oh, ah! Anon, how is the engine right now? Still good?” Starlight asked
You looked down at the seven lights and calmly said. “Oh, all seven are flashing yellow.” …………..Wait. “ALL SEVEN ARE FLASHING YELLOW! OH SHIT! I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG THEY’VE BEEN DOING THAT!”
“W-wait, i-it’s fine!” Starlight said with a shaky voice. “Just pull on the handle about halfway”
“Ok!” You said, gently pulling back on the handle “...What now?”
“The light should be going green right about now.” Starlight said. “The lights weren’t flashing a slow or fast red, so we should be able to-”
“All of them are still flashing yellow, and two are flashing red now.” You say, looking at the warning lights, cutting Starlight off.
“What?! Ok, let me just slow down and enter hover mode. Anon, pull the handle further back, until the red lights turn back to yellow. When we enter hover mode, we should be able to-” But you cut off Starlight yet again.
“All of them are flashing red now, Starlight! Shit, we need to use the book!” You pick it up and flip it onto a blank page, staring at it. “...Uh, what do we say to it? Wait, maybe we should try cooling the stones at two hundred percent power.”
“Doubling the power of the snow and air cooling unit? That could cause the other systems to flash freeze. Hmmm… Do it, but only for ten seconds. That should definitely be enough to cool the stones.” Starlight said as she began to cut the engines, and start up the storm engine for hover mode.
“On it. Hey book, do that thing Starlight just said!” And as you said that, the book began to write upon itself the same words Starlight spoke, as the air in the jet began to chill around you and Starlight. “Ooooh, I can feel it.”
“Me too, just give it some time. Aannnd… Mngh!” The jet began to shake, Starlight doing her best to keep it steady as the Storm Engine began to sputter some. “Come on, don’t freeze over! And! And! Ha! Ten seconds, and we’re still in the air! How are all the lights now, Anon?”
You gulped. “All red, still blinking slow.”
“What?! That can’t be! We should have been able to cool down the stones!” Starlight yelped “We can’t let this jet blow up! There’s still more we can do with it!” Yeah, Starlight wasn’t willing to actually let go of the jet. All that hard work, all that studying, to lose it all to an explosion? She wouldn’t let it happen.
“I got an idea!” You yelled out as you looked upon the book. “Book, double the energy capacity of the stones!”
The book began to write upon itself once more. But the lights still flashed red for some reason. It confused you. You went to look at what the book had written, and it had said ‘That is physically impossible. Please suggest a more viable solution.’
“What?! SUGGEST A MORE VIABLE SOLUTION?! YOU’RE A FUCKING MAGICALLY CREATED BOOK OF PROBLEM SOLVING! SO FUCKING DO IT!” You yelled back at the book.
‘And you’re an angry and sad little colt with libido issues and inability to solve your own problems. Oh, also, when was the last time you brushed? You smell like poop’ the book wrote back.
“SMELL?! HOW CAN YOU SMELL ME WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A NOSE! AND LIBIDO ISSUES?! HOW ABOUT I CUM ALL OVER YOUR PAGES?! THEN WE’LL SEE WHO HAS LIBIDO ISSUES!” You yelled back.
‘Wow, you even find a book attractive enough to cum to? Like, a book without any actual erotica in it? How sad are you? I bet you’d cum to the letter ‘B’ because it looks like a set of boobs’ The book wrote back.
“GRAAAGH! I’LL SHOW YOU! YAGH!” You start trying to tear the book apart, trying to rip apart its pages or rip it from its spine. But nothing you tried was doing anything to it.
“Anon! STOP ARGUING WITH THE BOOK AND FOCUS!” Starlight yelled back at you.
“Wha?! Fuck! FUCK! I didn’t-” But Starlight cut you off, she didn’t have time for these shenanigans.
“Forget it! I didn’t know the book was going to have limitations either. But this idea should work; Tell it to divert all the stone’s pent up energy to the storm engine’s lightning rods. Quick!” Starlight yelled at you as she kept the jet hovering in place.
You didn’t have much time, the lights were flashing quickly now. It was going to explode unless you did something. “Dammit! Fine! Book, divert all the stones’ energy to the lightning rods.”
The book began to copy down your command. It seemed to be working… Almost. While the danger lights went back to yellow, and then stopped flashing altogether, the storm engines began to rev louder and louder, until suddenly…
“GYAH!” Both you and Starlight let out a shout as the hover jets suddenly let out a powerful roar, before shooting out thick bolts of lightning. While you and Starlight couldn’t see beneath the jet, you both could hear the thunder as the hover jets began to melt, fail, and sputter.
“Starlight! The lights, they stopped flashing!” You yelled out, seeing that the lights stopped. But even then, you could feel the jet tilting, and beginning to fall. “W-what’s going on now?!”
“The hover jets failed! I can’t get them to turn back on! We’re going down!” Starlight said as she tried to get the hover jets to restart. “We don’t have enough time to restart the main engines! I have to try to land this thing!”
“Starlight! Forget it, we have to…” Wait, you still had one charge left. Or, wait, you still had the book! “Hold on, I got this! Book, repair the hover jets!”
‘And how do you propose I do that, magic?’ The book wrote upon itself.
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YES, MAGIC! WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU USE, DUMBASS!” You yelled back at the book.
‘...’ The book did nothing
“Well?!” You asked, yelling at it.
‘Yeah, I don’t need to take this.’ The book wrote.
Suddenly, for seemingly no reason, the jet stopped in mid air. Did, did Starlight start the Storm Engine? You couldn’t hear it. “Starlight? Did you get the hover jets back on?”
“N-no. A-are we? Did we? Crash?” Starlight asked as she looked forward through the canopy. The ground, you and her were only a few inches away from the ground. “N-no… We just almost did.” Starlight said with a gulp.
In a flash, both you and Starlight suddenly appear outside the jet. When you both looked back, you both saw the book under the jet. It grew hands and legs, put on a felt hat, and opened a bag as the jet magically began to shrink and slip inside.
“Uh… What? Wait, how did you… WAIT! I THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T DO IMPOSSIBLE THINGS!” You yelled at the book.
“Yeah! And what are you doing with my jet?! Give it back, now!” Starlight growled at it as her horn began to glow.
The book just looked back at the both of you, snapped at your direction, and backflipped backwards as a portal opened behind it. The portal then closed as immediately as it had opened.
You and Starlight just stood there, standing in an open meadow, blinking, not fully registering what just happened.
“Did… Did we just get hoodwinked by a fucking book?” You asked, your voice low, your soul itself defeated.
“We got hoodwinked by a fucking book…” Starlight said as she fell flat onto the grass, her face right into the dirt.. “And he took my fucking jet.”
The return to town was a quiet and soul crushing one, at least for Starlight. Most of the town itself was empty, probably due to everyone still being at the stadium. Starlight barely spoke, obviously downtrodden that something she was so excited about was ripped away from her hooves.
“Starlight, are you sure you’re ok? You barely said anything.” You asked her, knowing damn well she wasn’t. But you didn’t know what to say, as nothing you could do could bring the jet back. Not unless you could be precise with a spell without it mucking something up.
“I-uh, yeah… I just want to get back to the stadium, let everypony know the whole thing is just… I dunno, it just wasn’t worth it.” Starlight was defeated, for sure. She looked down at you, she actually had tears in her eyes.
“Starlight… Hey, come on!” You rushed up to her, leaning upwards to give her a hug. “It’s fine, alright? We’ll get another chance!”
Starlight backed off from you, and let out a heavy sigh, seemingly annoyed by your comment. “Yeah? Well, I don’t think so. That prototype was already super expensive as is. Sunburst was the one who convinced Princess Cadance to help us get what we needed. As for me? What did I really do? Ideas? Conversions? Piloting and testing? Ugh, Sunburst was right, you were right, even Discord was right! I should have just let you come up with something instead of making yet another stupid suggestion!” Starlight then stomped her hoof on the ground, enraged, and began to yell out loud. “I should have just stuck to the original plan! I’m stupid, ok?! I screwed up! Is that what you want to hear?! Well, there it is!”
S-shit, she really had fallen into despair over this. “Starlight… Come on now, I… Er, I mean, I sort of goaded you on. And y’know, there was Rainb-” But she cut you off right there, stomping right up to you, further annoyed.
“And what?! What does it matter?! I could have gotten us seriously hurt! All because I wanted to show off, all because I got excited over something that nopony should even be dabbling in! I screwed up the moment I took interest in those blueprints!” Suddenly, as if she lost all her energy from that outburst, she falls to her side, and points towards the train station. “Just leave me here. Go tell Twilight and Sunburst that I messed everything up, ok?”
All you could do was stand there. Watching her. It was weird, you could feel your heart shattering from this, but there was also this feeling of helplessness. Why? Dammit! This feeling, this feeling of fucking things up, you’ve felt it so many times before. Seeing Starlight like this, feeling like you know how she’s feeling. You just… You couldn’t let it go on any further. “Starlight, what in the fuck are you talking about? You didn’t screw up at all!”
“Oh yeah?” She said, still on her side, with a saddened stoic expression “Then where is the jet?”
“Fuck the jet! Who cares about the damn jet?!” You yell at her.
“I dunno, probably everypony at the stadium.” Starlight said.
“And?! You know what?! You know what…?!” Do you even know?! The jet was important, it was the centerpiece of the entire operation. You had to think, Anon. What would Fluttershy say? She’d say… Well, she’d say something dumb about looking at what you managed to accomplish within messing up or some shit like that. And what did Starlight accomplish? Actually, the deeper you thought about it, she actually did a lot. Hell, this entire situation is kinda sorta similar to a certain bony pumpkin king. “Well, you did your damned best, Starlight! I mean, think about it! You piloted a jet with little to no training whatsoever, while real pilots take years to be able to fly one. You made Rainbow Dash scared enough to actually take the head start. And about that, even with that head start, we not only caught up to her, we blew her away! We reached Manehatten in record time, faster than any pegasi. And you managed to prove that a jet could very well work in Equestria. So what if we didn’t finish the race? So what if the jet is lost? We know, deep down inside, that we could have kicked the shit out of Rainbow Dash and broken any speed record a pegasus pony ever set. Doesn’t that count for something?”
Starlight laid there still, silent.
“Starlight?” Dammit, come on!
She then slowly shifted her eyes towards you “So you really think I was that good a pilot?”
“Starlight, you took that thing further than Sunburst estimated.” You assured her.
Starlight slowly began to smile as she lifted herself off the ground. “So, I took things into overdrive? I took it to the limit?”
“Past the point of no return.” You nodded to her
“Right into the…” Starlight took a step back, then jumped into the air with a cheer. “DANGER ZONE!” But when she landed, she looked at you with heavy disappointment. “Aw, Anon, you were supposed to jump up and say it with me.”
“Oh, er… I guess I wasn’t expecting to cheer you up so fast.” Geez, how embarrassing. “Are you really feeling better already?”
“Yeah! You’re right, Anon. Actually…” Starlight shivered “It’s really scary how right you are, but still, right is right. So what if I lost the jet? Who cares!” She shrugged “I still have the blueprints, and if I ever want to try again, I can use the blueprints I made for that jet and just figure something out for the engine. No problem, I’m good.” Starlight says as she gives you a grin.
“Cool! Cool, awesome. Ok, I guess we can just head back to the stadium and let everypony know what happened.” You say, delighted to see her so cheered up, as you head back towards the train station where the stadium waits beyond.
“The stadium? Oh… Oh no, everypony… Everypony is still there, waiting, for… Er, the jet. Oh boy…” Starlight gulped. “I’m suddenly not so sure and-WOAH!” You weren’t gonna hear it. You immediately get behind Starlight and start pushing her from behind with your head. Somehow, you weren’t turned on from where you were. You had a goal in mind, and you will achieve it.
“Forget about it, Starlight. They saw the damn thing take off, they should have been amazed by just that. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out.” You tell her as you push her forward.
“Er, um…” She muttered as she just let herself get pushed forward while nervous. “Can’t we, actually, yes. Can’t you make a new jet with your chaos magic? So we can have something to show off?”
“I’m not making a jet with my magic, Starlight. A car? Sure, despite the fact the one I made for Chrysalis works waaaay too well. Like, to the point I'm afraid I made a real murder machine. I’m somehow afraid a jet made from chaos magic would just explode in an instant or become an instrument of death. I dunno, I’m not risking it.” You could probably successfully make a jet, but you also knew a single mistake could lead to more than just an explosion. It could lead to something much worse.
“Ok... Ok!” Starlight said as she hopped to the side as you tripped forward, fumbling from losing your footing while you were pushing her. She uses her magic to gently catch you, put you down, and pet you a bit. “Alright, you win. I just want an explanation to tell the crowd. Just, something, so they don’t get angry about sitting around for nothing.”
“We’ll say the jet went so fast that it went into another dimension, how does that sound?” You ask her.
“But… That didn’t happen.” Starlight tells you, but then she thought about it. “Then again, we did technically go super fast. And the jet did end up in another dimension, or whatever was in that bag.”
Thank god, if it was any other pony, they’d have just not wanted to lie at all. “Exactly, it’ll be fine.” You tell her with a wink. “Danger zone, Starlight, danger zone”
“I… think we should downplay the whole ‘Danger Zone’ thing. It might give the wrong impression, like, we purposely pushed it to the limit despite the danger… zone. I mean, ugh, first human words, now this. Eh, at least the song was good.” Starlight said with a groan.
And with that, you both returned to the stadium to an already inpatient audience. Indeed, you had both decided to just peek out from the home team stadium entrance to see them just moaning and groaning. It seemed Trixie was doing her best to entertain the crowd, though not being prepared, she wasn’t doing too good a job of that. Twilight herself seemed very unnerved as she spoke to Sunburst and Fluttershy. Speaking of Fluttershy…
“...He could WHAT?!” Fluttershy said, in an almost uncharacteristic burst of rage, as she hovered upwards, holding Sunburst up by the collar of his cape.
“Erm, u-um. W-well, we don’t actudsfadss!” But then Fluttershy started to shake him violently, with her eyes burning red with fury.
“Exploded! You said ‘exploded’! Are you telling my little Anon exploded?!” Fluttershy said as she brought her head onto Sunburst’s, her eyes practically touching his.
Sunburst gulped as his life began to flash before his eyes. “We-e-e don’t actu-GYAAAH!” Suddenly, Fluttershy began to shake him even more violently.
“If I don’t get my Anon back, I’ll make sure to do terrible and horrible things to you! Like tip over all your flower pots! I’LL TIP THEM ALL OVER! I SWEAR!... wait.” Fluttershy stopped herself for a moment there to think about what she said. “I don’t want to do that, I’d hurt the flowers.”
“S-so are you going to put me d-down nWQFDQWDFSA” And yet again, she began to shake him.
“I’LL DO SOMETHING! I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT SOMETHING IS! BUT I’LL DO IT!” She shouted back at him.
“Fluttershy, calm down, it’ll be ok.” Twilight gently put a hoof to her back, to try to calm her friend. But Fluttershy, dropping Sunburst’s ass on the floor, burst into crying as she hugged onto Twilight.
“But he’s up there, or maybe he got blown to pieces, or burnt to nothing! I can’t, I can’t think, Twilight. I can’t imagine all the horrible, terrible, and scary things he may have already gone through. What if he’s gone? What if he’s gone?!” She sobbed, crying tears all over Twilight’s back.
“I… I’m sure he’s alright. He’s got his horn, and he’s with Starlight. I’m sure everything is alright, and they just reached Manehatten now and are turning back as we speak.” Twilight said in a gentle tone, trying her best to console her friend.
“Ok, maybe things got a little worse than we thought. I didn’t know Aunt Fluttershy was going to freak out like that.” Yeah, fuck, she threatened to tip over flower pots. Probably one of the scariest threats she’s ever made in her lifetime… You know, without some weird influence.
“Yeah…” Starlight said with a bit of shakiness in her voice, a bit fearful Fluttershy was going to ‘attack’ her like that “Let’s just go say hi, and hopefully everything will be ok from there.”
“I noticed you two aren’t in the jet. Did you crash it into Canterlot without me? Huh, huh?” Said a voice from beside the both of you. Spooking you both as you and Starlight flop forward from fright. It was, of course, Scrappy, out of nowhere.
“Scrappy!” You both yell at him, making him jump back, then give a small growl.
“Hey! I just wanted to know. Actually, Rainbow Dash didn’t come back either. Did you crash it into her?! I don’t even know how to feel about that. She can be annoying, but if she was gone, Scootaloo would be upset. I don’t like it when Scootaloo is upset.” Scrappy then gave you both a death glare. “Is Scootaloo going to get upset?”
Starlight, having lost her patience with him, picks him up by the scruff with her magic as she stands, eyeing him close. “If you don’t want me to turn you into a toad, you’ll be quiet about the jet, ok? It's gone, and I don't want to be reminded of it in that way.” Starlight said, giving him her own death glare.
“You don’t scare me. I’m a captain! And a guard dog! I could be captain of the guard dogs, y’know!” Scrappy barks back at her.
“I’ll tell your master you went to the bathroom in my office, how does that sound?” Starlight asks him, her brow furrowing.
“What?! But I didn’t do that!” Scrappy said with a bark, utterly shocked. “You’d lie to Master Applebloom?!”
“Anon.” Starlight called to you, looking down at you with a nod. Wait, why did she call to… Oh. Well, ok, that’s fine, Scrappy was being a goober anyway.
“I mean, I can use my horn to turn into you, then take a dump in her office. Then it’d technically be true.” You say with a shrug.
“It would be, wouldn’t it?” Scrappy asked himself as he pondered on it. “Yeah, that’d be pretty evil. Ok, I’ll leave you both alone now, I have to scout the parameter anyway.” Scrappy said as Starlight lowered him to the ground, letting him walk off as he kept his nose close to the ground.
“Yeah, never gonna get over how creepy that guy can be. He seriously expected for me to crash the jet into something.” Starlight said, still irked by his words.
“Yeah, that’s really how he is. But forget about him, let's just go see the others before Aunt Fluttershy moves on to threatening to make Sunburst cry or something.” She practically was already close to that, considering how she was acting.
“...And that’s pretty much what happened. We had to walk all the way back here after the jet, got, well, put in a bag.” Starlight was explaining to the group while Trixie continued to do her best to entertain the crowd.
Fluttershy was the first to speak. The moment she saw you, she had taken you into a tight embrace as her tears never stopped flowing. Even now as she keeps you close between her forelegs, you were nearly soaked to the bone in tears. Sunburst has to lend you his cloak just to keep you warm. “So the jet was going to explode? Are you telling me…” Suddenly Fluttershy leered at Starlight, full on ‘The Stare’, as she became mostly understandably angry. “IT WAS going to explode?! How could you be so irresponsible, Starlight! You could have gotten Anon blown to itty bitty bits because you wanted to fly in the ‘Danger Zone’ or whatever you called it! I’m so so angry at you, so very angry! A colt, Starlight, a colt! It doesn’t matter if he’s from another world, he’s still a colt!”
Starlight jumped back in fright, holding her hoof up to protect herself, despite the fact Fluttershy was ninety nine percent not the fighting type. “Gyah! Fluttershy, I said I was sorry! B-besides, Anon is mature for his, um, age! It’s not like he hasn’t been in danger before!”
“Y-yeah, Aunt Fluttershy. It wasn’t scary or anything like that. I knew what I was doing, you don’t need to be mad at Starlight.” Like really, you felt really bad here. Starlight was getting the brunt of the anger simply because Fluttershy wasn’t in the know.
“No, Anon, just no. The danger you get into is because meanie bad guys just show up and do horrible things to everypony. This kind of danger is reckless and dangerous. And no, I don’t care if it’s chaotic or not, it is unnecessary. Starlight, you apologize to Anon for putting him in needless danger, now!” Fluttershy said with a stomp of her hoof. “I want him to know that this isn’t ok.”
Starlight looked over to you with an awkward stare, a stare you shared with back at her. She took a deep breath without exhaling, and simply let out a low unheard. “Ok, whatever. Just get it over with, Starlight.” She then takes a step forward and says. “I’m sorry, Anon, I shouldn’t have put you in danger like that.”
“...And been a bad influence.” Fluttershy interjects.
It almost looked like Starlight was mouthing bad words there for a second before taking another breath. “And being a bad influence. That kind of danger is awful and I should have thought it over better.”
“Erm, it’s ok, Starlight, I forgive you. I uh, I now know not to do unnecessary dangerous… Er, stuff?” God, if only Fluttershy knew half the shit Discord put you through, she’d have a meltdown.
“Good. And I never want to hear about something like this ever again.” Fluttershy said with an authoritative nod.
“I… Ok.” Starlight said with a sigh as she looked over at Sunburst, who was also giving her a hard stare. “Ugh, c’mon, Sunburst, I know already. I should have paid attention to you.”
“Well, yes, that is absolutely true, given the planning and calculations we made pointed to this very event happening. Well, the event happening if that chaotic anomaly hadn’t occurred. In any case, I had already deduced from Rainbow Dash’s challenge that something like this was going to happen before I could further caution you on the dangers of racing with an experimental engine that uses dragonstones. However, most of all…” Suddenly he dived in and hugged Starlight as tight as he could.
“S-Sunburst?!” Starlight let out, confused by his action.
“I’m just glad you’re still here, and not strewn around the landscape from a horrible and terrible explosion.” Sunburst said as he continued to cry.
Suddenly, you had hooves cover your ears as Fluttershy said. “C-can we not say such things in front of Anon, he doesn’t need to hear about such gruesome things either.”
“I…” Suddenly Twilight took a deep breath, as Starlight just looked upon Fluttershy with an awkward look, knowing how much of that is an understatement to your very own knowledge of ‘gruesome things’. “I don’t think we really need to worry about… Er, I mean, lets just change the subject, ok? We’re glad you’re both ok and that nothing happened. Seriously…” Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “I thought I was going to lose my mind when you mentioned the explosions too. But, given, um, some recent events from a little while back… I just… I… Don’t know what I’m talking about.” She really didn’t. Twilight did, herself, feel that kind of anger Fluttershy felt. But being in the know, she had wanted to yell at both you and Starlight. But seeing Fluttershy react first, and knowing everything was ok, and knowing she herself realized she needs to be more calm about such situations, she just opted out of that conversation and wanted to move on to the next.
“Ok, ok, calm down everypony. Look, we’re all glad you’re both ok. But, uh, what happened to Rainbow Dash? You guys said you passed by her getting to Manehatten, but then… What happened to her after that?” Spike asked.
“Beats me.” You said with a shrug. “Once we passed her up, we just blasted right towards Manehatten. We passed by the Mare Statue, started our way back, and that’s when the engine started to go nuts.”
“Hmmm, you don’t think she’s still racing then, do you? Ah geez, I feel bad for her now, she either got tired and took a nap or she’s already in Manehatten and sweating buckets.” Spike said, astonished at the thought.
“Woah, actually, wow.” Suddenly, something hit Twilight’s thoughts as she looked over to you and Starlight. “You two actually did it! You both reached Manehatten and got back here before Rainbow Dash did. I guess, technically, that means you both won that race. I’m, wow, that speed, it's unheard of. No, seriously, I have read up on tons of anomalies and creatures of natural ability and I’ve never read about something capable of that kind of speed. Fluttershy, please don’t be offended when I say this, but I’m impressed with the both of them.”
“That… Erm, considering how fast Rainbow Dash is. Erm, that is, um, very impressive.” Fluttershy was reluctant to agree, but even she had to admit how crazy and amazing it sounded.
“Indeed…” Sunburst said as he suddenly looked like he was running a million calculations in his head. “The speed needed to beat even her normal pace is great. If she hadn’t reached Manehatten yet, and you two passed it, it means you were maintaining speeds faster than that of sound. Fascinating, simply fascinating! Starlight, however were you able to maintain that speed without passing out?”
“Oh, erm, that barrier to resist those G-forces really helped. I guess with my magic powering the barrier, it really managed to hold that much back.” Starlight answered.
“Wow! I… er, well, perhaps I shouldn’t be getting too excited, given that may lead to more trouble. Either way, we lost the jet, so any further testing is currently impossible anyway. Still, we can record the data you do have and review it over and over, like a fantastic storybook! Despite the negatives, today has gone really well.” Sunburst said, with full enthusiasm.
“Yeah, for you maybe, but what about them?” Spike pointed to the disgruntled crowd. “Twilight, what are we gonna do?”
“I… Don’t know. Without the jet, the thing they all came here to see, I… I really don’t know what to do.” Twilight said with a gulp, forgetting that the crowd had been getting angrier and angrier the more the jet was out of sight.
“Well well, it seems Princess Twilight is unable to do what any princess should do. Not surprising.” Trixie said… What?! Holy shit, she was behind you all, looking annoyed, especially with Twilight. “All that work I put in, and you couldn’t think of anything to follow up with?”
“Trixie?... Er, no. I... “ Twilight was at a loss of words here, she really had no idea on what to do for the crowd.
“Typical. You’re all lucky I’m here, given I am the greatest travelling performer in Equestria… Even if my reputation was destroyed by an Ursa Major. Among other things...” Trixie said, pointing to herself to accentuate her amazingness while still being annoyed and unimpressed.
“Er, I thought it was a Ursa Minor.” Spike corrected her.
Trixie froze, wide eyed, then dismissed Spike’s words quickly. “W-whatever, the point is it was dangerous and out of my scope, at the time anyway. As for this situation, I only need to make one thing clear. You both passed by Manehatten, right?”
“Yes, why? What does that have to do with anything?” You ask. Why did she want confirmation on that? What did it matter to her?
“Then problem solved. Watch and learn, Twilight, this is how you fix REAL problems.” Trixie said with a grin as she began to walk back on stage.
“What?! What are you even planning to do? Trixie!” Twilight called out to her. But for Trixie, she was already listening to no one but herself as she picked up a mic with her magic and called out to the crowd.
“Attention! Attention everycreature! This is the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIIIIIXIE! If you were expecting more amazing magic, then Trixie must disappoint you, my show is over…” Trixie announced.
“Thank Celestia!” Someone, with a rather loud voice, called out from the crowd.
Trixie groaned, and began to shout. “Silence! Grrr, well, I forget that many a pony lack good taste. But I digress, I know what you all came here for, and I am sorry to disappoint, but the jet is gone.” And to that, the crowd began to really get loud, with ‘WHAT’ ‘COME ON!’ and other such things coming out from them. But Trixie didn’t falter, and continued. “Yes, I don’t know what you were expecting, given it was that odd machine versus Rainbow Dash, a race to Manehatten may I remind you all, something none of you would be able to see from here.” And to that, Twilight nearly fainted, highly upset that Trixie was seemingly making things worse. Hell, you were ready to bolt, wanting to get out before the crowd formed an army and attacked Trixie all at once. “But I can assure you, the jet has reached Manehatten, and then some. In fact, if you look behind me, you can see that the pilots are here, fine and dandy. ‘But how is this possible?’, you all may be asking. Well, given they had to be reaching speeds well beyond the Element of Loyalty could only DREAM of achieving, it is only natural to come to the conclusion that the jet went so fast that it entered another dimension. Now, I can hear you all ready to tear this entire stadium apart, but let me say this; There is no reason to do that. Consider this, if they reached Manehatten, then that means the active press there has taken pictures and are ready to put out papers describing a ‘mysterious flying object’ passing through. Oh yes, I can promise you such an astounding thing will even be in your local newsreels within the week. That makes sense, doesn’t it? So please, if such things don’t happen…” Trixie points over to Twilight. “Please feel free to raid Princess Twilight’s castle with your complaints.”
And with that, the crowd fell silent, seemingly discussing with each other about the possibility of Trixie being right. Then, out of nowhere, they began cheering, cheering you and Starlight on, amazed that you both could move so fast.
Trixie, smirking almost evilly, hopped down from the stage to a gawking, jaw dropped Twilight. She put her hoof under her chin and closed her mouth for her. “Well, how was that? Are you that amazed, Twilight? I knew you would be, overwhelmed by my true power as an entertainer.”
Twilight’s eye began to twitch, she slowly looked towards Trixie, then began to shout. “RAID MY CASTLE?! Trixie! What have you done?! You don’t even have any proof any of that is going to happen! I can’t handle that many complaints at once!”
“Twilight, it’s Manehatten, I’d bet my reputation that I’m right.” Trixie assures her.
But that was a failure to calm her down as Twilight yells out. “What reputation?! You just said it was already ruined!”
“Well… Yes, so at this point, it’d be erased from existence, giving me a whole new chance to make a name for myself. See? If I win, everypony will know I’m right. If I lose, well, I still get a chance at redemption. See? We all win!” Trixie said with a big grin.
“TRIXIE! WHAT ABOUT ME?!” Twilight growled.
“You’re a princess, handling complaints is your job, so what are you complaining about? As much as The GREAT AND POWERFUL PRINCESS TRIXIE rolls off the tongue, well, it is not a title I have… yet.” Trixie said, with her ever ignorant grin.
Twilight was slowly turning purple to red, growling more and more as steam came from her nose.
“Well…” Spike looked over to Trixie and gave her a salute. “It was sorta nice knowing you, Trixie.”
“N-now, Twilight, calm down. Y-you don’t want to say anything bad in front of Anon… Or go off on Trixie… Or, erm, level the stadium.” Fluttershy said in an attempt to calm Twilight down.
You, Starlight, and Sunburst stepped back as Twilight finally exploded, almost literally, as she started yelling at Trixie about what had just occurred. Even threatening to slap on the wings you have onto Trixie and making her princess for the moment the crowd arrives to complain. Something Trixie seriously was considering if it’d be a good thing as Twilight became even more furious.
“Well, considering the c-c-c-circumstances. A-as much as I’d not want to leave them here, may I-I s-s-suggest a hasty retreat?” Sunburst said in nervousness.
“Yeah, I’m good with that. Anypony wanna go for lunch?” Starlight asks the two of you.
Oh, no no no, you do not want to be here at all for this. You don’t want to be disciplined, yelled at, or even possibly blown up. “Um, nah. I’m just gonna go and er, check on Chrysalis. Y’know, see if she’s planning anything today.”
“Ah yes, I have heard about that from the prince and princess. Given the circumstances, since you cannot be hurt by her, especially in comparison to right now, that may be a good idea.” Sunburst said in agreement.
“So that’s it, Anon? Gonna leave me here to deal with this in case it goes nuts?” Starlight asked, annoyed with you.
“I thought you said you were going to lunch!” You shouted back at her.
“I mean, yeah! I just… Don’t know if I’m going to reach the eatery in time… in case Twilight literally blows up.” Starlight said with a gulp. “And that’s with teleporting. I-I don't even know if there's going to be a Ponyville at this point”
“Look, just find a place to er, lie low I guess. let me go check up on her for an hour, and then we can all go out to eat. How does that sound?” Yeah, fuck that, you didn’t want to deal with any of this.
“I… Ok, but hurry back soon, ok? Or maybe not too soon.” Starlight said, as Twilight’s mane and tail suddenly burst into flame. “Ooooh boy.”
“Yeah… I’m out of here. Here’s your cloak back, Sunburst.” You say, scared of the rapidash Twilight. It was funny in the show, not so funny within 'blowing up' range. You toss the cloak towards Sunburst, put on your horn, and teleport the fuck out of there.
Man, what a wild ride that was. Honestly, despite Trixie pissing off Twilight, you still had to commend her. That was a pretty tight save, maybe she wasn’t as bad as everyone else thought. Then again, maybe that was just a fluke and trusting her in a life threatening situation could be bad. Whatever, doesn’t matter, it was time to destress and see what Chrysalis was up to today. She was no doubt watching another movie in the vast collection of films you gave her. You walk up to her door, raise your hoof, and give it a knock. “Chrysalis? Heya! It’s your favorite human, Anon~!" You say in a cheerful sing song way.
You stand there, waiting, wiping at your chest fluff with your hoof. Eventually, you could hear the door being unlocked and opening. The door opened rather slowly, and despite looking up with a smile, you didn’t see Chrysalis standing there.
“Anon! You came!” Suddenly, you feel something run right towards you and give you a big ole hug. It was, Diamond Tiara?!
Wut?!
You just stood there, a little confused, your face twisted from how odd this all felt. “Uh, Chrysalis? What are you doing? Seriously, this? This is really weird.”
“Chrysalis?” Diamond Tiara broke her hug, and tilted her head in confusion as she looked into your eyes. “Anon, I’m not Chrysalis.”
You shifted your eyes left and right, checking to see if anything was coming at you or if you were in some sort of trap. Or, was this the trap? Or… Did Chrysalis just want to try to trick you into giving her genuine unfiltered affection without it seeming too weird? “Chrysalis… I mean, you don’t have to do this. I… What are you doing exactly?”
Diamond Tiara then furrowed her eyebrows at you, giving you an angry glance. “Are you telling me you can’t tell the difference between me and Chrysalis?! She’s tall, Anon! I’m not that tall. The only thing the same between us is how pretty we are!”
You had to chuckle. What was this? Like, seriously, what was she trying to pull. “Chrysalis, I mean, I know you can transform. C’mon, just be honest with me. If you wanted to have some private cuddle time, you know I’m willing to give it.” You say, coyly bouncing your eyebrows at her.
Suddenly, the possibly false Diamond Tiara became deep red as her eyes nearly burned with fury. “What?! What did you just say?!”
“Uh… I said if you wanted to, er, have some pri-” And then, in an instant, Diamond Tiara flew into a wild rage, picked you up with her forehooves and balanced herself on her hindlegs before slamming you into the ground so hard she managed to form a crater.
“SGSDGDDGRSGFS” WUT?! WHY?! DID SHE JUST KILL HERSELF FOR…
You were shaking, you slowly looked up to see… Oh god, she was standing there, very much alive.
That… That wasn’t Chrysalis.
WUT?!
DIAMOND TIARA?! HOW DID SHE GET HERE?! WHAT WAS GOING ON?! WAS THE PLAN GOING ON?! OH GOD, YOU JUST SAID YOU’D GIVE YOUR PRIVATE CUDDLE TIME TO CHRYSALIS IN FRONT OF HER! HOW?! WHY?! WHAT?! WHEN EVEN?!
You just stared and started making a consistent wheezing noise as you just, laid there, unable to compute what the fuck was going on right now.
Diamond Tiara, realizing what she had just done, and noticing you just laying there in a long unending wheeze, brings her hooves to her lips in a gasp. “Oh no! I hurt Anon! Oh no, I think I broke him! Wait, he’s unbreakable. Oh no, maybe he confused me for Chrysalis because he ate something weird in the forest and he can’t think straight!” Diamond started to frantically call for Chrysalis. “Big Sis! Big Sis! Something is wrong with Anon! Please, help!”
After a few moments, there she was, stepping out from the front door with a popcorn bag floating at her side. She was just, staring at you, boredly, as she magically flicked a popcorn puff into her mouth. “What seems to be the problem, little sister. Besides the obvious.”
Your wheezing just grew more tilted. Did… Did she just call Diamond her little sister?! I mean, you knew they both liked each other. But when the fuck did Chrysalis start actually humoring something like sibling recognition?! THIS DOESN’T COMPUTE!
“Anon is sick! I think he ate something bad, and then I made it worse by smashing him into the ground! Please, you have to help him!” Diamond pleaded, looking up at her with big sad eyes.
Chrysalis just casually strolled over to you, staring at you as you continued to wheeze. She chuckled, then looked back at Diamond. “You did this?”
“Y-yes… “ Diamond said, looking down with absolute shame. “He said he was going to give you private cuddle time. For some reason, he thought I was you. I totally didn’t mean to get mad, but that really made me mad.”
“I see. Well, don’t fret over it. Anon has these lapses in judgement quite a lot, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. As for him… Let’s see.” Suddenly, Chrysalis just started pulling popcorn puffs from her bag and tossing them at you gingerly as they bounced off your face.
“W-what are you doing?” Diamond asked, walking up next to her, confused.
But Chrysalis didn’t answer, she just boredly pelted more puffs at you until one large one managed to get in your mouth and gently roll past your vibrating tongue, halfway down your throat, and then began to choke you as you began to roll around gasping for air. “I fixed him.”
You hit your stomach with your hooves three times until you were able to get the popcorn puff out of your mouth. “Holy crap… What in the…” But you stopped yourself as you looked up at the pair. Still bewildered, but no longer frozen in stupification. “What is go-” But you are cut off as Diamond gave you a big big hug. “Anon, you’re ok!”
Chrysalis was busy looking at the shackles on her legs, giving them a tap. “Well, thankfully I was right, that didn’t end my life.”
“End your?-” Suddenly, Diamond stopped hugging you and dropped you back on the fucking ground as she went to see if Chrysalis was alright. “Are you alright? Did you accidently hurt somepony just now?”
Wut?
Didn’t Diamond notice that you nearly choked due to some popcorn? Wait, Chrysalis did that, and she isn’t dead?! “Chrysalis, what in the! How are you not… Do you know what you just did?!”
Chrysalis gave Diamond a little pat and a reassuring smile. “I’m quite alright, little sister. I totally know what I’m doing.” Chrysalis then looked to you with a smirk. “I didn’t do anything to you, Anon. You’re the one who didn’t chew his food. Doesn’t count.”
You swear you were going to lose some blood vessels over this, they were going to explode from the sudden stress you were now feeling. “You could have… Grrr, you may have… NGH, D-d… Can somepony tell me what’s even going on?!”
“Anon, you did see the note in my room, right?” Diamond asked, confused as to why you seemed to be losing your mind over this.
Wut?
“What note? I came over here after I was done with the presentation at the stadium. I thought you were doing some super important stuff.” Like, that is what she fucking told you.
“Oh, yeah, that was so you’d come check on me later. See the note that I was going to be foalnapped by Big Sis, and you should come over. Wait, so are you saying you didn’t come to check up on me at all?!” Diamond said, suddenly getting angry again.
You step back, startled. “I-I thought you didn’t want to be bothered!”
“Oh…” Diamond takes a moment to think about it. “Oh, I guess if I said I was going to be super busy, then that makes a lot of sense. E-er, sorry Anon, I didn’t mean to get mad.”
“It’s alright, D- WAIT! WHAT ABOUT THIS WHOLE FOALNAPPING THING! WHAT IF YOUR PARENTS READ THAT NOTE!? HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!” THIS DOESN'T COMMMPPPUUUTTTEEE
“Bundle of fun as always, Anon.” Chrysalis said, smirking, as she chucks a puff upwards and catches it in her mouth. “So I foalnapped her, so what? From my understanding, you’ve been keeping her from me because you think I’d possibly go into some anger fit or something similar to that. Very rude, Anon, you know I enjoy good company.”
“I know I’ve mentioned the thing about Applebloom to you, Diamond. I just didn’t want something like that happening. Because, you know.” You slide your foreleg along your neck, making a ‘snnnk’ noise.
“Ok, Anon, one. You said Big Sis drank something weird before that happened. And two, it’s Applebloom.” Diamond said, with a very sure nod.
“Yes, Anon, it’s Applebloom. She literally disrespected the sanctity of my home and let herself inside, anypony would have reacted the same way I did. Also, for the record, those types of drinks do not affect me that much.” Chrysalis said, imitating Diamond’s nod.
“I… Gyah… Ngh…” You just slump to the ground. “I give up.”
“Finally…” Chrysalis said as she turned around, and beckoned to Diamond. “Come along, little sister, we have a wager to complete.”
“Coming! Come on, Anon, you get to see me win! Isn’t that great!” Diamond excitingly lifted you with her head, letting you hang on to her as she brought you inside.
You were just out of it, just…
And then you saw it, they were watching a fucking movie. A familiar one, as you could see Jafar just now turning Abu into a toy monkey. It was paused right on that scene. Are they… They’re watching Aladdin?! Chrysalis is watching this!? “W-what is this?”
“Oh that? It’s about a wonderful evil vizier who infiltrated a kingdom and became the most powerful wizard on the planet through the use of an all powerful genie… And some street rat, I guess.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle as she hopped onto her long couch, facing the tv. “This is also the focus of quite the little wager between me and my little sister.”
Diamond gave a huff as she put you on the couch, hopping up between you and Chrysalis as she herself gave her own little chuckle, the kind of arrogant chuckle you’d expect from a rich bitch. “Mhmm, which I’m going to win, Big Sis.”
“Hah! Have you not been paying attention? This Aladdin, while having an admirable trait in lying and stealing, is a mere useless street rat compared to Jafar, the all powerful. He has it all, all because Aladdin had to make the biggest mistake of his pathetic little life. Oh, that reprise of ‘Prince Ali’.” Chrysalis took in a deep breath, and relaxed with a happy little sigh. “Oh, how I wish I could have done something like that. Absolute power, with nopony to stop me.”
“What about the puns? That makes him sound like a dork.” Diamond said.
“Dork?! Listen here, little sister. Those puns are well executed, he is literally making them happen. There is nothing wrong with playing with your meal.” Chrysalis said with a huff.
“But isn’t that sorta how you lost?” Diamond said with a smirk.
“No, I..." But then Chrysalis stopped herself. "Nice try, but as the genie said, he works for ‘Senior Psychopath’ now. So no, I will not be pulling back on my bet, if that was what you were trying to do.” Chrysalis said, snickering as she relaxed herself. “Just face it, Aladdin cannot win.”
...How…
How did.. You know what, don’t even question it. Just roll with it. You may have died in the jet and this was either hell or a coma dream.
“W-what are the stakes to this wager?” You asked, curious, not caring about anything else anymore.
“Oh, well, if I win, Big Sis has to be my partner in the next Sisterhooves Social.” Diamond says to you as she begins to gently nuzzle on your side.
“And if I win, she must be the head of prisoner management in my new equestrian order. I think she can do it, she has a knack for commanding others on what to do. This ‘wager’ is really more of a formality really, since I already know I’m going to win.” Chrysalis said as she raised the remote up to continue the movie.
“We’ll see about that, Big Sis!” Diamond said as she then sat at the ready and pulled over the popcorn bag Chrysalis had. She was excited to see the end of the movie.
Oh god, Chrysalis was going to lose. Chrysalis was going to lose and… Ugh, would she fly into a fit of anger? Dammit. You pull yourself up to sit and watch the movie proper with them, ready to grab your horn and pull Diamond to safety the moment Jafar lost.
“Look at that! He even makes the insult of being called a snake into a fabulous pun! However is Aladdin supposed to beat that!” Chrysalis was quite giddy with excitement as she cheered Jafar on.
“C’mon, c’mon!” Diamond was hanging on, hoping to win.
You had to be ready. You had no charges, but you could use a barrier, or use telekinesis, or even pull your wings out of your bag and fly her out of the house.
Chrysalis then began to cackle like mad “The genie!? Did he seriously suggest the power of the genie when he still has one wish left?” Her grin grew wide, her teeth were on full display with how menacing this victory grin was looking.
But Diamond grew silent, a more subtle but evil grin growing on hers. Somehow, she had already caught on to what was coming next.
“Look at that, now he has phenomenal cosmic powers to bring about his absolute rule. How can Aladdin beat that? Hm?” Chrysalis then looked to Diamond, who was looking at her with that same sly grin. “Why are you smiling like that?”
“Because, he just became a genie. Sure he has the ‘phenomenal cosmic power'. Buuuuut…” And that’s when the lamp appeared, as Diamond waited for the moment Aladdin would obviously say it. “Itty bitty living space.”
Chrysalis looked at the screen with silent shock. She sounded like she was choking as she slowly turned her eyes to the ever cocky Diamond. “B-but, how did… How did you know?!”
Diamond shrugged. “That’s what the genie said his situation was, remember? Isn’t that what the situation is for all genies?”
“B-but, there wasn’t even a lamp for him to live in until he… He….” Here it comes.
But instead of blowing up in a rage, she just fell back on the couch and let out a depressive and aggravated groan. “This is… That’s… Bah, because of course when things go too well for the villain, everything has to go crashing down. I’m calling shenanigans on this whole thing. Hmph.”
“Ah, ah! You made a deal, Big Sis. It totally wouldn’t be very queen like to just try to get out of it, right?” Diamond said, lavishing in her victory as the rest of the movie began to wrap up.
“...No, I guess not.” Chrysalis said with a huff. “I guess there is the benefit of making everypony else look like fools for even challenging us. With me as your partner, we should be able to crush every competition.”
“That’s right! Together, nopony could beat us!” Diamond said with a cheer.
“Agreed. Ah, lunch should be prepared soon. Little Sister, could you please go check on the lasagna while I have a chat with Anon?” Chrysalis said, with no hint of anger in her voice. She sounded genuinely… Pleasant.
Diamond eyed her closely. “You’re not gonna cuddle him privately, are you?”
“Considering all the work I put in in solidifying your relationship with him? Why would I?” Chrysalis asked.
“Oh, I guess that’s true. Ok, you can count on me.” Diamond said as she happily hopped off the couch and went off to the kitchen.
Chrysalis silently stared at you, you silently stared at her. Was there tension? Was she just hiding her anger? “So then… What’s the con?”
“Con?” She asked, confused by your words.
“No anger, no destroying anything, no forcibly taking back your word. That isn’t like you.” You say, ever so suspicious.
“Well, look at that, I finally decided to try to reform and you have to criticize me.” Chrysalis brings a hoof to her heart as she does her best to look hurt. “You’ve crushed my heart, Anon.”
You sighed. She was right. The first signs of her showing change and you suddenly just decide to criticize her for it. “Sorry, I just. It just all seemed so sudden. I guess with Diamond here, I have no reason to believe otherwise.”
“Well you should, because I was lying to you.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle. “Still so gullible.”
“Dammit! I knew it! What the hell, Chrysalis! What are you planning?! You can’t involve Diamond in this, you know that! I won’t let you do it!” You shouted at her, stomping up to her as you stood at eye level on her sitting position on the couch. “I’ll stop you myself if you even try!”
“Relax…” Chrysalis said as she gently, yet firmly, placed her hoof on your head and pushed you down until you sat. “If you want the truth, I just wanted this day to be… Happy.”
“Happy?” Wut?
Chrysalis nodded. “I just wanted to experience one day where everything was close to what ponies consider pleasant. I wanted to see you and little Diamond Tiara without all the usual bullshit surrounding our relationship. And don’t worry, I haven’t used human words around her or showed her anything explicit.” Chrysalis then stopped herself. “Ok, maybe I wouldn’t be able to stomach the whole day. But we can do lunch, right?”
“I… Ok.” You narrowed an eye at her, still confused. “But why?”
“It’s why I left the note, Anon. I wanted you both here. Because today? Oh yes, it will probably be the very last day we will be able to do this.” Chrysalis said as she turned her head towards the window, as if looking out to tomorrow.
...Oh lord.
“The plan… You’re finally going to strike then?” You said, cautious of her, taking things more seriously.
“Mhmm, tomorrow morning. I’d like you to be there, actually. Don’t worry, I don’t want nor need your horn. I just want to see you and see what you think of my plan.” Chrysalis said as she looked at you with a gentle grin.
“I… You expect me to do that?” She can’t possibly think you’d do that, not on something like this.
“I do, but I also expect you to warn everypony of my coming presence. I want them to know I’m coming. It’ll make things more interesting that way.” Chrysalis told you, her grin growing more cruel. “I want them all to be there when Twilight Sparkle meets her doom.”
Welp, there it was, her evil side on full display. And yet… “You want me to tell them? You do know you would pretty much have zero chance, right?”
Chrysalis shrugs. “And? Why are you complaining? Don’t you want me to lose?”
“I… yes, so you can just focus on reforming.” What is she trying to play at? What could she possibly be planning?
“Then? Just do it, Anon. You don’t have to be such a prude. Like I said, I just want to have this one little lunch together. You can then safely take your marefriend home and that is that. I’ll even say the word please.” Chrysalis said, as she shuddered in disgust. “P-p-please just have a nice lunch with me.”
…
If she was telling the truth, then to deny this would make you to be the real monster. A moment like this was something you were waiting for. You just wanted a single moment where she was nice and gentle. Given how Diamond seemed to be having a nice time thus far, you couldn’t very well say no. “Ok. I believe you. Considering I’m your friend, I shouldn’t not believe you. So then, what’s the plan you have?”
“Ah ah, a girl has to have their secrets, Anon.” Chrysalis said as she gave you a gentle little pet. “In any case, let’s forget about it for now and talk about other things. Little sister told me about something big you were doing today, how did that go?”
“Oh, er. Ok? It went ok.” Shit, suddenly small talk. You can do this, Anon. Do it for her, DO IT FOR HER. She was already setting herself up for a loss, exactly as you predicted. You cannot fuck up now. “Actually, have you seen any movie with fighter jets in it?”
“I actually have. Ooooh, did you fly one?” Chrysalis said, smiling warmly, genuinely interested.
“I copiloted, actually. We flew it towards Manehatten and back… Well, almost back. We had a few issues, but we still managed it.” You say, cracking a smile of your own as you did your best to relax.
“I see, I see. Issues? Ah, let me guess, you crashed into Canterlot Castle, right? Oh, please tell me Celestia burst into a thousand little pieces. It’s not the revenge I wanted, but I’d take that.” Chrysalis said, her smile never faltering.
You tensed at those words. Somewhere, that little asshole Scrappy was wagging his tail right now.
“...So, there I was, practicing for buckball, right?” You said, waving your hooves slowly to make your story sound more grand. All three of you were in the dining room, a grand looking room of golden walls and a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The dining table itself rivaled Celestia’s, despite the fact there was no point in it being that big. Chrysalis and Diamond just watched and listened, slowly eating the lasagna that came from the oven, made with Chrysalis's love. Chrysalis followed the recipe you randomly generated for her quite well, or that’s what everyone thought anyway, since it tasted pretty good. “And the ball comes right towards me, and I hit it with my head. BAM! The ball goes flying past the goalie, through the basket, and er… I ended up sending one of the other students to the hospital when it hit their face.”
“I saw it happen. I thought that shot would have gotten Anon into the team for sure. But then Princess Twilight brought up a good point that having that much skill would put every other team at a big disadvantage.” Diamond giggled as she looked over to you with a doting smile. “It’s totally true of course, but that shouldn’t have stopped him from getting on the team.”
“Er, well, I kinda didn’t want to be on a team anyway. Too much responsibility for me. Plus, Twilight’s right, I wouldn’t want to show up all the other players.” You say with a cocky grin, rubbing your hoof along your chest.
“Hmmm… Is that so? Anon, can you hold still for a second?” Chrysalis asked as her fork flew up above her head.
“Huh? Yeah, su-HEY! GYAH! What was that?!” The fork's blunt side was flung onto your head. The moment it hit, it was like some kind of force repelled it into the ceiling. The fork sunk so hard into the material of the ceiling that the prongs were no longer visible. “What in the hay?! Chrysalis! Geez! What was that for?! I mean… HEY! DON’T YOU REMEMBER THE CURSE?!”
“Hush, Anon, that didn’t even hurt you.” Chrysalis said as she looked up at the fork. “Hm, he’s become so hard headed that he creates his own negative force now. Scary.”
“Wow, Anon. That was amazing. You didn’t even see that coming and you sent it flying.” Diamond cheered before giving a sly look, chuckling arrogantly. “Hero colt, Master athlete, and cutest pony ever. Other fillies can only wish they had somepony as good as my Anon.”
“Yeah…” Chrysalis was pushing it. Unnecessarily so. It seems she actually had to hurt someone for the deadly curse to take effect. If that had even slightly stung, she’d have been done for. Was she doing it on purpose? Testing her limits for the plan tomorrow? Or was she just doing it out of boredom? Either way… “But seriously, please be more careful, Chrysalis. None of us want to see you plop over.”
Chrysalis said nothing at first, her gaze shifting towards Diamond for a moment before looking back at you. She then gave an apologetic expression with her words, sounding sincere. “You’re right, Anon, and I do apologize. I should not be testing my limits like that.”
“You really gotta be careful though, Big Sis. If you had accidentally hit Anon anywhere else… You know.” Diamond said with a pout.
“I promise to be more careful.” Chrysalis said, as she brought a hoof to her chest. “Queen’s honor.” Chrysalis then had a thought occur in her head as she began to use her magic to remove her fork from the ceiling. “Little Sister, despite it being animated, what did you think of the humans?”
Ooooooh, actually, that made you curious too. “Yeah, what did you think? Since, y’know, I was human once.”
“Oh, it was ok, I guess. No offense, Anon, but I like you better as a pony.” Diamond said.
G-guh. That didn’t sound right. “I mean, I was pretty handsome as a human, y’know. Probably better looking than Aladdin. Y-you can't just say that without having seen the old me”
Chrysalis suddenly snorted as she lost her grip on the fork. She had to use both her hooves to keep herself from bursting into laughter. Oddly polite of her, but goddamn. Like, fuck, you were! You just stared at Chrysalis, silently grumbling. And yet, could you be upset? Normally, she’d have just outright insulted you. So far, she’s been… Nicer… and kinda playful.
“Yeah, but. I dunno, is it bad I don’t find humans attractive?” Diamond asked. “Does it matter? You’re not even a human anymore.”
“No… I guess not. Eh, it doesn’t matter, I still look good. And I do have the prettiest filly at my side. I’m the luckiest colt in Equestria, methinks.” Egh, why did you personally feel offended by it though? Hm, you had to wonder if that is how Diamond would react to her human self, and vice versa. Hell, you wondered if even mentioning her human self would gauge her interest.
“Awww… Well, I AM the prettiest filly. Mhmm.” Diamond said with an assured nod. “Isn’t that right, Big Sis?”
“I’m inclined to agree.” Chrysalis said as she finally took her fork, poked at her lasagna, and then let it sit. “I think I’m already on dessert. Ahrm, in any case, Little Sister, what have you been doing lately? Anything exciting?”
“Oh yeah! I’ve been learning how to use a sword. One day, I’m gonna be Anon’s partner in heroing and his wife! I’ve learned so much already, I think I’m ready for some actual competition.” Diamond said with girlish excitement. “I know we didn’t make a bet on it, but you’d come see me win one of my competitions anyway, wouldn’t you, Big Sis?”
“With pleasure. Just make sure to crush them in such a way as to leave no doubt who is the best.” Chrysalis said with a snicker as she suddenly seemed to be reminiscing on something. “I remember when I had to learn to dance to infiltrate a smaller kingdom on the old outskirts of Equestria. Mind you, I was already an excellent dancer, but to garner so much love in a room with my graceful movements. Ah, yes, I remember being very sweet tasting, even if my competition were duds in flavor. Never mind the fact my childr…” Chrysalis suddenly stopped as her expression became somber. “Ahrm, well, moving on. How is that failure of an old captain of mine doing? You know the one.”
Did she mean… “The X-Captain? Er, he’s… Ok. He’s living in the house now.”
“Really?” Chrysalis said, intrigued while trying to shake off her thoughts. “You’ve forgiven him? How did he even fit back through the window?”
“Yeah, about that, he transformed back into his original self. And now he owns a nightclub in the basement.” You explain.
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at that. “How did that happen? Your ‘father’ doesn’t sound like he’d be accepting of that.”
“He, er, won a couple of bets.” You say.
“What kind of bets?” Chrysalis asked. “It seems unlikely that he has the foresight to win ANY bet. And don't mention my recent loss, I got tricked by what should have been obvious.”
“Basically anything, really. I don’t even know of the ones he made with dad. Really, the only annoying thing is he transformed into Jimmy Conway and uh… Changed his name to that, and likes to stay in that fo-YIKES!” You and Diamond stiffen from being startled from Chrysalis’s angry reaction. She just slammed her hooves into her lasagna as she hissed and growled.
“THAT FOOL THINKS HE CAN BE JIMMY?! IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TELLING ME?! THAT INGRATE! NOT ONLY FORGOING OUR GLORIOUS ORIGINAL FORM, BUT CHOOSING A FORM SOMEPONY LIKE HIM COULD NEVER LIVE UP TO!” Chrysalis snarled as she stared into nothingness. “I know who I’m destroying after Twilight.” She whispered to herself silently.
Christ, you wonder how she would have reacted if he chose Tommy or John Rico. She may have been able to mind melt him with her anger alone.
“Jimmy? Oh right, you’re talking about the weird eyeball guy from outside your window who stopped being an eyeball. Hmph, that guy scared my best friend, he's dumb. And a nightclub, huh? I bet it’s trash.” Diamond’s only encounter with Jimmy, back when he was X-Captain, you remember that. It’s what caused him to leave the window, hide out, and presumably give the Storm King a window to disconnect from him… Possibly. You weren’t exactly sure if that was it or if it really was just the staff having perfect timing in draining up the chaos between them.
“I agree. Not only is it trash, but why a nightclub? He truly is a moron if he thought he’d get any business in Discord’s basement. If I had time, I’d go down there myself and slap some sense into him. Jimmy, really? If I remember, he didn’t even enjoy watching the documentary in the first place.” Chrysalis said, shaking her head. “He never did understand the finer points of… Anything.”
“Hm. Big Sis, you seem to really love whatever documentary you’re talking about. C’mon, we should totally watch it!” Diamond said, wanting to spend more time with Chrysalis.
Chrysalis actually tensed, like, she actually flinched. It almost was like she was going to say that they shouldn't. But she relaxes, and sighs with disappointment. “I’m afraid I cannot allow that, Little Sister. It is extremely mature and I wouldn’t want you to be influenced by it.” Hell, she actually did say it.
“Awww, but Anon has watched it, right? How come he gets to see it and I don’t?” Diamond said, trying to win Chrysalis over with a cute pout.
“Er, I. I mean, I have a real big interest in gangster stuff, Diamond. I don’t wanna be a gangster, but I always had an interest in the mafia.” Dammit! You didn’t need her watching that! What if she saw that scene? That one scene, you know the scene. THAT scene…. Well, really, any scene in that movie would have scarring effects on her.
“The mafia? Anon, ponies have gangsters too, you know that right? What makes human ones so different?” Diamond said as she began to place her hooves on the table to raise herself up, a way to show that she wanted her demands met. “If you and Big Sis like it, then I want to watch it too! We’re supposed to be a family. And as your future wife, I want to check out all the cool human stuff!”
You were about to say something, but Chrysalis spoke first. “...Anon, can you stay here for a moment? I’m going to put the documentary on a certain scene.” Chrysalis then stared into your eyes. You wanted to say something, should you say something? No, you know what she wanted to do. She was going to do to Diamond the same thing she did to Twilight, only this time it was to deter her, you were sure of it. You nodded towards Chrysalis as she left the room.
“Anon, is she going to try to freak me out?” Diamond asked you, knowing the answer already.
“She just wants to show you that we’re not kidding, Diamond. The documentary is pretty detailed and has some scenes that might be too intense for you.” You explain.
Diamond raised an eyebrow at you, a little annoyed. “You sound like those film reels Miss Cheerilee plays sometimes to scare us into not doing something, like walking around the Everfree at night.”
“I mean… Yeah? It really is that intense, Diamond.” Wow, she actually wasn’t paying attention to you this time.
“Hmph.” Diamond said as she got out of her chair and approached you, turning her head away from you. “So you think I’m gonna be scared over a documentary, is that it? Well, fine, we’ll see. But just so you know, if I’m not scared, then you’re sleeping on the couch for the first month after we’re married.”
You nearly broke into laughter at that. Oh yeah, no, that was NOT going to be happening. You planned to use the bed the first day, and not just for sleeping. “Ok, Diamond. Just don’t go crying to me if what Chrysalis shows you scares you.”
Diamond suddenly turned to you with an intense expression. “Scared!? I’ll show you! In fact, if I’m not scared, you gotta take me to that nightclub for a date. How about that?”
Wut? “Uh? Jimmy’s nightclub? I thought we agreed it was trash.”
“Exactly. That’ll be your punishment for doubting me.” Diamond said, so sure of herself. Christ, you didn’t even know if the place was actually trash. Given Jimmy probably had tons of details done to the nightclub via Discord’s magic to make sure it was class. Then again, maybe you could take advantage of the situation.
You then give Diamond a cool look. You hop off the chair and look directly at her with a big smarmy smile that actually made her ears fold a tad as her bravado got dialed back. “So, you wanna make a bet with me?”
“Y-yes. I’ve been right so far.” Diamond said, with only a little hesitation in her voice.
“Ok then. Let’s see. If I win, I want you to yell out all of Ryu’s moves the best you can. Alright?” Oh god, this was gonna be cute.
Diamond just looked at you, super confused. “O….K? What’s… What’s a Re-u? What do you mean by 'moves'?”
“Don’t worry about it for now. We’ll get to it when we get to it and-” Suddenly, you can hear Chrysalis calling you both back into the living room. “There we go, you ready?”
Diamond nodded. "Totally. I’m sooooo going to win. Watch.” Diamond prepared herself, and took a breath as she looked on with determination. “Let’s go.”
You both walked back into the room to see Chrysalis standing next to her television, remote ready on… Wait a minute, this wasn’t Goodfellas. This was the brain drain scene again from Starship Troopers. She had it paused on that? Good god, this was gonna be overkill.
“Oh, hey. A realistic looking human. Hm, still not impressed.” Diamond said, looking back at you with a little smirk. “And I’m not scared either.”
Oh boy…
“Well, I haven’t pressed play yet, my dear. Anon, this is fine by you, right?” Chrysalis asked, as if your opinion actually mattered. Perhaps it did this time? Well, either way…
You nod. “Go for it.”
Chrysalis pressed play, with the brain bug’s needle sucker going right into that guy’s skull. Diamond turned white as she jumped behind you, screaming as if someone had just stabbed her. “AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS THAT?! WHA-WHA?!” And then suddenly, she passed out. The gore, the death, it was simply too much for her.
Looks like you won. “Well, I think that worked.”
“You don’t seem too upset that I scared her into unconsciousness.” Chrysalis said as she picked her up with her magic and gently placed her on her couch.
“We made a small bet in the dining room. I thought you were going to show the scene where Tommy died, to be honest.” You say, finding it hard not to smirk.
“I didn’t want to spoil any of that documentary for her, nor did I need a reminder of such a sweet man being murdered like that. so I just played Starship Troopers for the easy scare. She’s quite stubborn, it’s cute.” Chrysalis said, giving her a gentle pet along the head.
“Yeah, I dig it. Trust me, that stubbornness has gotten me out of a bind once or twice.” You looked over to Chrysalis, wanting to get a little serious for a moment. “Look, don’t accuse me of being Twilight, ok? I just wanna say that you’re actually doing a pretty fine job being a good friend. Or, I guess a sister.”
“Like I said, this will be the final day I’ll be able to do anything like this. Tomorrow, Anon, things are going to change, and I will finally have my revenge.” Chrysalis said as she turned off the tv. “Don’t mistake my kindness here as a sign of throwing in the towel. You’ll find my plan to be more evil than anything I’ve ever conceived before.”
Ok, that was a little worrisome. “You say that, but you want me to warn everypony, then be here tomorrow morning. I don’t get that at all.”
“You’re not supposed to. If you want to stop my plan after my little presentation, then you may. But you have to let me have this chance to impress you.” Chrysalis drew closer to you, and began to give you a gentle scratch under your chin as she gave you a more lustful look. “I promise it’ll be something that will ignite ALL your senses.”
D-dammit! You back away, blushing, and shake your head to remove the pervy thoughts you had. “Oh no no, I’m not falling for that again. You’re not getting the horn, Chrysalis.”
Chrysalis chuckled. “I wonder if you mean that for both of them. But if we’re being serious, I mean it when I say I won’t be requiring it. I just want to see your face when you see the full genius of my plan.”
“The plan you won’t tell me a single detail about.” Did she even truly have a plan?
“Yes.” Chrysalis said as she seemed to become giddy with excitement. “Finally, Celestia will know my pain, and she will never EVER be able to get over it. Every second being alive will be an eternal reminder of what she lost.” Then Chrysalis looked to you with a girlish toothy grin. “I don’t even care that you don’t like the sound of it, I’m much too close to care about that.”
“I can see that. But forget about me for a second, what about Diamond? I can tell you like her, are you willing to lose her friendship over something like this?” You had to be serious, you had to ask her these questions, see how serious her plan might actually be.
“I enjoyed my time with her, Anon, but if fate ends our friendship, then it ends our friendship. You however, are different. You’ll never stop being my friend, therefore I never have to worry about you abandoning me the same way my children did.” Chrysalis said, either ignoring or unaware how devastating a win like that would be on her relationship with you. It was that very devastation that told you she probably wasn’t as serious as she was making it all out to be.
“I suppose. Chrysalis, can I ask you a question?” Here we go.
“Of course, ask me anything, I’m in that good a mood.” Chrysalis said with a grin.
“Look, if anything, I’m worried about you. I know me asking this might piss you off, but can I at least have a chat with you tomorrow about your plan before you pull it off? Given how this curse works, I figure if you’re willing to listen when you’re actually setting off your plan, then it will count as a failure and break the curse. Then, you know...” You say, knowing full well she will say no.
“I’ll reform? Sure, Anon, you can do whatever you like. If you want to have a chat, then we’ll have a chat.” Chrysalis said, this time, without a hint of sarcasm.
Wut? “Seriously?”
Chrysalis nodded. “Like, totally.” Chrysalis said in a way similar to Diamond. “I think you deserve that chance.”
Damn, Chrysalis really was being more understanding and caring. Then, that was it, today must have changed her. Hell, maybe she did remember the things she said when she was drunk. HAHA! Anon, what were you worried about? You have this in the bag. “T-thank you, Chrysalis. I really appreciate that.”
“Well, you deserve that chance.” Chrysalis said, giving you a genuine smile as she looked out her window to the forest beyond. “We all deserve a chance to reach our dreams.” Chrysalis then looked back to you, then to Diamond. “Anon, I did enjoy this visit. I truly did. But I have preparations to make, it will take me most of the day and I will need the night to rest. Thank you for your time, and please, tell her I had a good time when she awakes.”
Woah… She said please, and thank you. That was almost creepy. “Yeah, hey, no problem, Chrysalis. You know you’re my best bug.” You say with a big happy grin and you walk over to give her a hug. Chrysalis doesn’t even hesitate as she gently brings her leg around you to hug you back. Oh yeah, fuck yes! It was happening!
“As you are my best human gone pony. You have a good day, Anon. Oh, by the way, I have a question.” Chrysalis said as she walked over to her bookshelf full of movies and pulled one out.
“Yeah?” Hm?
“The puzzle box in this movie, is it real? I’d be willing to change my plan right now for one of these to be left in Twilight’s room, it would solve my problem in an instant.” She asks, holding up the case for the movie ‘Hellraiser’. “We both know she wouldn’t be able to resist solving it.”
…
…
“No.” God no, fuck no!
“A shame. Ah well. Goodbye, Anon. And don’t forget to warn those fools. It really would be no fun if I didn’t have a little resistance.” Chrysalis said with a slightly dark chuckle.
Ok, Anon, relax, that puzzle box was NOT gonna become a thing, and Chrysalis was still in good spirits. Now, when it came to getting Diamond home, that was gonna be tough. Getting her into your room was easy enough, but getting her past that would require waking her up. Which then meant she’d probably want to go to Jimmy’s club despite the bet. No, Anon, priorities. Just wake her up, take her home, then rush straight to Twilight and the others.
It was finally time.
Chapter 191 - Dropping off Diamond, and Pinkie's Appearance
You were on the trek back to Diamond’s home, with Diamond herself passed out on your back. Even with the fall back onto your bed, she didn’t awake. Chrysalis really spooked her with that, and while it was cute you were carrying her home, you wonder what her parents would say seeing you carry her around like this. Hell, you were afraid they found that note, that would bWETGFDSDGSDGF
“EEEE! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!” Suddenly, Diamond awakes and grapples at your neck as she shakes and chokes you before slamming your face onto the ground multiple times. “I DON’T WANT MY BRAIN SUCKED OUT LIKE A MILKSHAKE!”
“DSGDG-DiamqeFDSAFD-DSf-DIAMOND!” You manage to shout out amidst face slams.
It snaps her out of it. She looks down to see you on the ground, with her on top of you. She quickly hopped off of you and lifted you up, inspecting you to make sure you were ok. “Anon! Anon! Are you ok!? Did you beat the brain monster thing?”
…
“Diamond…” You said, face still in the ground, dirt moving along with every mouth movement. “That was from the documentary.”
“The Docu-OOOOH! Right, I… Kinda remember? I remember Big Sis showing me something, the big brain thing and…” Suddenly, she began to shiver greatly and began to nuzzle on your side. “Anon, s-she was right, that was really scary.”
You couldn’t be mad at Diamond, despite the reaction. Chrysalis did blindside her with that, and she had no way of knowing what the fuck was going on. Of course waking up outside like this would spook her. “Yeah…” You slowly stand up, cough, and begin to wipe yourself off. “Are you alright, Diamond?”
“Well, duh, yeah. But what about you and… Wait.” She began to look around, and realized she was outside on the road. “Anon, why aren’t we at Big Sis’s house?”
You tense at those words. God, you didn’t need her yelling at you. “Chrysalis wanted to be alone. Sorry, Diamond, but things kind of came up and she asked me to take you home. If it makes you feel any better, she really enjoyed her time with you.”
“So did I, but… Wait.” Diamond again stops herself, when she realizes the gravity of your words. “Anon, is she… Is she gonna do her plan?”
“Tomorrow. She wants me to see her before she does it too. She’s pretty excited about it. Then again, she also wants me to warn everypony about it. I personally think it’s not gonna be that big a plan.” You say with a shrug.
“Anon! It’s totally gonna be a big plan! You can’t take her lightly like that!” Diamond said as she hopped around you, trying to warn you of the danger. “She’s super serious, Anon. She wants everypony to know because it’ll make her winning that much better for her. You can’t be dumb about it, Anon, she’s not gonna show any mercy to Princess Twilight.”
Christ, she was that sure? “Do you know what the plan is, Diamond?”
“Mmm mmm” Diamond said, shaking her head. “But I know how Big Sis thinks. She’s gonna try her hardest, Anon. So you really REALLY gotta try to stop her. It’ll be the only way to help her.”
“It’s not like I’m not gonna try. But we have so much going for us, I really can’t see a way of her getting past all of it to get to Twilight. I, well, look. I’m just saying you shouldn’t worry, I totally got this.” You tell her with a wide grin, to try to reassure her.
“I know you do. But you have to remember that Big Sis is crafty. If she tries to trick you in any way, you can’t fall for it, ok?” Diamond just really really wanted to make sure you understood. She was fully aware, despite her fondness for her, that Chrysalis was not to be trusted in affairs like this.
“I promise. I’m not going to fall for anything, especially since I know it’d be some sort of trap.” You tell her, again, to reassure her.
“I’m serious, Anon. She is sooooo inviting you over tomorrow so she can trick you in some way. Even if she’s stopped, if I find out she tricked you, I’m gonna bop you good. Got it?” Diamond said, trying to seem as threatening as she could, which only came off as adorable. "I will not have a gullible dummy as a future husband."
You give a light chuckle as you wave your hoof towards Diamond to signify you understood. “I got it, I got it. Look, Diamond, trust me. I’ll be ready for anything, absolutely nothing is going to get the jump on meWEGDSDFSDF” Suddenly, you are grabbed by another screaming filly as she begins to shake you furiously.
“ANON! ANON! SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED! IT’S, LIKE, REALLY REALLY BAD!” Screamed Silver Spoon as she began to shake you senseless.
“ADSADASDFDS” She was just relentlessly shaking you, preventing you from talking coherently. Everything was just a pastel colored blur as her panic began to grow.
“IT’S DIAMOND TIARA! SHE’S BEEN FOALNAPPED! HER PARENTS AREN’T HOME EITHER, ANON! I THINK THEY ALL HAVE BEEN FOALNAPPED! THIS ISN’T COOL! THIS IS REALLY UNCOOL!” Silver Spoon was practically screaming and spitting in your face as she freaked out. “ANON! ANON! A-Anon?” She let you go, noticing your eyes spiral before you plopped back down on the ground, twitching.
“L-lasagna and shaking… Not good.” You felt like James Bond’s martini. You’ve been head bashed a million times before, but shaken to near oblivion? Ergh, it wasn’t good on your stomach at all.
“Anon! Food?! Really?! REALLY?! My best friend has been foalnapped and you want lasagna? MY best friend, your future wife! Like, if Diamond could hear you now, she’d be devastated.” Silver Spoon said, disgusted with your lack of action.
“Silver Spoon.” Diamond said with a giggle. “That was our lunch. Wow, are you really freaking out over me being foalnapped?”
“Yeah, totally, you’re my best frie-Diamond!” Silver Spoon said with sudden joyous excitement as she ran over you to hug her friend. “You’re ok! Wait, you’re ok?! Did Anon already save you? Wooooah, that is totally awesome! Anon, you’re amazing! That was so quick!” Silver said as she looked back to you.
You were still flat on the ground. Ugh, at least you were appreciated. You just raise your hoof and let out a weak sound of heroic acknowledgement before letting it drop back into the dirt.
“Diamond, you gotta tell me how Anon saved you. Was he awesome? Was he heroic? Was he super hot?” Silver Spoon asked like some excited teenager, wanting to know all the details. “Tell me everything, marefriend!”
“Oh, he was so totally hot. I got, er, erm, foalnapped by a bunch of mangy Diamond Dogs, right? And Anon just jumped down into their hole and beat them all up without his horn. There was this super big dog, right? And Anon, he just jumped and span like a drill! His head nearly went through the guy. But my Anon is super nice, he just hit him hard enough to scare everycreature else off. Then Anon picked me up and brought me all the way here.” Diamond’s grin was pretty genuine, she was able to lie about your ‘ordeal’ without any hint of falseness. Silver totally bought it.
“No way! Awwww…” Silver near fawned over you. “You’re so lucky to have a coltfriend like him, Diamond.”
“I know.” Diamond said as she had silently noticed your broken self, and helped you up the best she could while nuzzling under your neck. “Anon is always there to save me if I get in trouble, that’s why he’s the hero colt.”
“For sure. Hey, do you all wanna hang out? We can watch the latest movies at the theater. I heard there’s a new saucy romance movie out. C’mon, it’ll be super fun!” Silver, already recovered from her shock, was already primed to hang out. “I bet with Anon on our side, everypony else is gonna get preeeeettttyyy jealous.”
“Y-yeah but…” Diamond nuzzles onto you again, and looks to you with worry. She knew you had something important to do. And for the sake of you and Chrysalis, she didn’t want to be a burden. “But how about just you and me, Silver Spoon? Look at Anon, he needs to get some rest. Or at least a little alone time, he’s all beat up and stuff.”
“Oh, right, right. I guess I’d be pretty tired too after having such a cool adventure. Ok, c’mon, Diamond, let’s go. Maybe you can learn a few romantic tricks from that movie.” Silver Spoon said to her with a wink.
“Oh, I’m sure I don’t need any tricks to attract my Anon. Right, Anon?” Diamond said as she gave you a kiss on the cheek. But you were still so dizzy, you merely fell forward.
“Wow, you knocked him out with that one!” Silver Spoon said, looking down at you, smirking at Diamond.
“Y-yeah… Erm.” Diamond leaned down and whispered in your ear. “Anon, are you gonna be ok?”
“....” Your ear twitched. Fuck man, why did everyone have to shake you up like that? You were still obviously urpy from today’s flight. God, you couldn’t believe how sensitive you felt right now. “Y-yeah. I’m peachy.”
“Ok…” Diamond said, kissing your cheek once again. “You take care of yourself, Anon. And good luck, ok? I know you’ll do awesome. Just remember, you gotta take this seriously.”
You pulled up enough strength to look up at her and smile, giving her a slight nod. Ah, Diamond, she truly cared and understood you. Even giving you your space. And as long as you never fuck that up, you were sure it’d stay that way. Hm, you need to give her a gift sometime soon. Well, you will, a full fledged big sister.
With Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara walking off, gossiping as they usually do, it gave you time to recover. You slowly stood up again, cleared your throat, pat at your stomach a couple times, and then began to think. You had to gather the mane six, you had to be clear, and you had to make sure they could all set up a proper defense just in case. Diamond seemed pretty sure something bad may happen, and given she seems to be able to read Chrysalis pretty well, it’d probably be wise to follow her advice. While everything had been mostly preplanned already, it never hurt to have a main plan set.
“Pssst, Nonny.” Said a familiar voice.
Wut?
“Ponk?” What in the… “Ponk? Where are you?” What in the goddamn...?
“Over here, in the bush!” You saw a rather large bush on the side of the road shaking. G-goddammit!
“Wha?! Ponk?! How long have you been… What?! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!” Oh god, what?!
“Oh, I’ve been following you the whole time. I was gonna getcha for lunch, but it sounds like something super duper important just came up.” Pinkie said, still hidden in the bush.
Dammit?! She… Wait, why are you freaking out? You were going to tell her and everyone else anyway. “You heard everything?”
“Mhmmmmmmm. Lucky for you, everypony is already at the castle waiting for you. Except for Dashie, she hasn’t shown up yet.” Pinkie slowly poked her head out of the bush, looking rather super serious. “But lunch is gonna have to wait, we gotta make plans for tomorrow!... Or maybe we can eat while making plans. You can’t plan on an empty stomach, y’know?”
“I… Yeah? Look, Ponk, I know you mean well, but this is super important. I need everypony to take this seriously, ok? That includes you. You know about the curse, right?” You ask, holding up your foreleg to show her the shackles.
“Of course I do! But why are we talking about this now? We need to get everypony else first before we do any big time planning. Nopony should be left out.” Pinkie said, with a sure nod.
“Ponk, I know. But for you, I just…” How could you word this in a way not to crush her spirit or make her sad? Chrysalis, as calm as she seemed, would probably be hostile towards all friendship attempts up until she fails. The last thing you needed was her lashing out at Pinkie and killing herself. “I need you to keep your distance from Chrysalis, ok? Until those shackles disappear, the only thing we all should be focusing on is making sure her plan fails first and nothing else. Understand?”
Pinkie looked confused. “O...K? Nonny, what’s wrong? You don’t think I’d ruin the plan, do you?” She asked with a pout.
Dammit! “No! No! I mean this for everypony, actually. Talking her down isn’t going to work until the shackles come off.”
“Ohhh, because she’s gonna be focused on getting Twilight, right? I getcha, but… What if being friendly to her and talking to her about friendship makes the shackles come off?” Pinkie asked, genuinely curious.
Ergh, it might. But it had to be from someone she cared about. It couldn’t be just anyone, it had to come from you. But she had to see, first, that she can’t succeed. “That’s a possibility. Well, look, we’ll talk about it when we get to the castle and…” Suddenly, Pinkie put her hooves on you as she stared at you with a big grin. “Ponk? What are youDRHDFHDF” Suddenly, she placed you on her back as everything became a fucking blur. Were you on the jet again?! How the fuck was she this fast?! Oh god, you couldn’t take this anymore! FUCKING HELL!
“Ok, we’re here, Nonny! You get going inside and gather everypony, I’ll wait here for Rainbow Dash!” In a near instant, Pinkie had already taken you to the entrance of Twilight’s castle. How she was so fast? No, fuck that, how was she that fast?! Was toonforce actually canon?
Either way, you didn’t move, you didn’t hop off her back, you simply slid right off and fell on your face, green with accrued motion sickness.
“...Or you can take a nap first, that’s fine too. I didn’t know you were tired, Nonny, I would have gone slower if you needed the sleep. Well, that’s ok, you get your rest first. We still have to wait for-” But then, all of a sudden, with a huge crash that happens right next to you, Rainbow Dash plummets to the ground at breakneck speed, raising dust into the air.
Pinkie started to cough and wave her hoof about to clear the dust. When the dust cleared, there was Rainbow Dash, standing tall. “Dashie! There you are! How was the race?” How was the race?! Was she aware it was already over? Did Rainbow Dash not realize she wasn't at the stadium?!
“It was… AWESOME! I totally kicked their butt, Twilight. I beat Pinkie Pie and Tank at skiball and I won ALL the tickets.” Rainbow Dash said with a wide grin.
“That’s amazing! I didn’t even know we were playing skiball! What did you use the tickets on?” Pinkie asked, hopping about in excitement. “Did you get a super awesome toy?”
“Nope, I got dirt.” Rainbow Dash replied.
“Dirt?” Pinkie tilted her head in pure confusion
“Yup, ALL the dirt.” And then, all of a sudden, Rainbow Dash’s eyes rolled up as she fell forward onto the ground, her wings twitching, with many of her feathers out of place. She just, conked out.
Pinkie just looked upon you and Rainbow Dash and shrugged. “Well, I did already eat, it’d be greedy of me to eat more food. And I am kinda tired. Soooooo…” And suddenly, out of nowhere, her body seized up and she too fell unconscious, right on command.
After a few moments. Spike stepped out of the castle entrance to investigate the crashing noise.
"What in the hay was-..." He then saw it, Rainbow Dash knocked out with her eyes rolled up, you twitching on the ground silently, and Pinkie, on her back, eyes closed. "A-are they... Are they?!" Spike had never seen anything like this before. To him, everyone looked clearly dead. In the state of sudden shock, his purple scales turned white, and he fell over, unconscious.
"Spike, has Anon come back yet? Oh, I'm starting to g-EEP!" Fluttershy was next to step out. And there was no fucking way she was going to be able to handle this. Seeing her friends fallen, and you twitching, she too seizes up, and falls unconscious.
Then, for some reason or another, a yellow maned pink pony by the name of Lily Valley just happened to be walking by. Upon coming upon the corpses, she suddenly fell silent as her mane and tail stood on end, and she too... fainted.
"Fluttershy? Is Anon and Rainbooooh." Next up was Starlight. But she didn't fall unconscious, or even wildly react. She just looks on to the fallen ponies and little dragon, looks upon Fluttershy, and then nudges her to make sure she's ok. She then narrowed her eyes in confusion. "What am I... What am I even looking at? Who even is that other pony?... I'm just... going to slowly step back inside now."
While chairs did have to be pulled up towards the Cutie Map for a few others to sit on, everyone was pretty much here. You, Spike, the six, Starlight, Sunburst, And… Trixie. Lunch was pretty much huge sub sandwiches catered to everyone’s tastes. Cept' for yours, because Fluttershy had to make sure you ate healthy. Then again, you couldn’t complain, not with Sunburst lifting his sandwich, looking at it with a frown as syrup dripped from it.
Sunburst had to adjust his glasses to be sure of it. Then he gave it a lick. Yup, syrup. “Ahrm, e-excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude, but why does my sandwich have pancakes in it?”
“You said you missed your lunch, silly. So I combined your lunch together with breakfast and made the ultimate brunch sandwich! Now you can be ready for dinner without a super grumbly tummy.” Pinkie said with excitement as she bit into her huge ass sandwich, which as far as you could tell, was filled with every kind of oat, grain, cheese, green, and you swear to god, some bits of candy.
“O-oh, I see. I guess that makes sense. I didn’t even know breakfast could be made up like this. Hrm…” Sunburst then took a bite, and immediately, he flinched. He slowly chewed, noticing there were indeed more than just pancakes within his sandwich, and it didn’t mix with everything else at all. He slowly nibbled, swallowed, and then tried to reason with himself that it was meant to taste this way. “I-I think this is the proper taste for a mixed meal. I…” He then places it on his plate and pushes it away as he awkwardly smiles. “...Think I’ll just take it home with me. Just one bite was enough to fill my, er, stomach! Yes, that’s right. It filled it right up.”
"Okay then! Wow, Sunburst, you must have a really small tummy. Wait..." Pinkie then began to frown. "How are you supposed to enjoy delicious deliciousness if you can only take a couple bites of anything?"
Sunburst looked at his sandwich and nearly turned green before looking back at Pinkie with a false smile. "Oh, I-I manage. I don't think taste is that important anyway."
Pinkie then suddenly narrowed his eyes at him, looking at him suspiciously. "Riiiiiight." She then snuck up on Twilight, and whispered. "I think he doesn't want us to see him eat it. Look at him, he wants to just eat it like a piggy wiggy. Which is fine." Pinkie said with a sudden bright giggle.
“Oh, Pinkie, I have to admit. These personalized sandwiches are simply divine, however did you manage to make them all in so little time?” Rarity asked, impressed by her own sandwich, which seemed to be made with the highest quality of ingredients.
“Well, they’re just sandwiches.” Pinkie said with a shrug. “You just get some bread, stuff to put between the bread, and a hungry tummy and what do you get? Lunch!”
“Thank you, Pinkie.” Twilight said to her with a warming smile. Then giggles as she noticed Spike scarfing his sandwich down. “Spike, don’t eat so fast, or else you won’t be able to enjoy your sandwich.”
“Sorry, Twilight, I can’t help it. I don’t even know where Pinkie found all these gems.” Spike said, drooling. “So many kinds, so many flavors, it's hard to hold back, y’know?”
“It’s alright, Spike.” Twilight said with a nod, looking to her friend with a smile, happy that he was enjoying himself. But, after what happened outside, you had already passed along the news to Twilight. And she began to look around the table with an ever growing look of seriousness. She finally put her sandwich aside, cleared her throat, and called for everyone’s attention. “Everypony, I’m glad we’re all here to enjoy lunch together. But, there is a bit of news that has come to my attention that we need to discuss.”
“Oh my, is it bad news, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, with worry in her voice.
“Whatever it is, can’t it wait til’ we’re done eating? I’m starving after flying for so long. I deserve this sandwich, considering I won the race.” Rainbow Dash said as she took a huge chomp of her sandwich.
Wut? “Uh, but we got to the stadium first. You didn’t even get there.”
“Yeah.” Starlight said, narrowing her gaze at Rainbow Dash “And don’t go saying it’s because we lost the jet. We still got there before you. So it goes without saying that if we had the jet, we would have finished even sooner.”
“Look, I’m just saying the jet couldn’t handle it, that’s the real reason you lost it, right? In the professional world of sports, we call that a disqualification.” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk.
“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity called out, stomping her hoof in a way that grabbed herself attention in a startled fashion. “I do believe there is also a certain something in the ‘professional world of sports’ called sportsmanship. Furthermore, I don’t believe you get to make the rules on this sort of competition. In fact, I do believe the only rule was merely reaching Manehatten and back. That is correct, isn’t it?”
“Er… But, the whole thing was trying to prove their jet was better than me.” Rainbow Dash said, rather sheepishly, before regaining her confidence. “And they lost it, it means I won.”
“Actually, that is rather incorrect. Having read a few books on the matter of competitions, especially in non-official events, the rules are governed by what is agreed upon. Ergo, unless it was agreed upon that they had to finish in the jet, then you do in fact lose.” Sunburst interjected.
“Hey!... What does ‘ergo’ mean?” Rainbow Dash asked, confused. “Because if it means that I lost, then-” But then Rainbow Dash suddenly gets cut off, by Twilight of all ponies.
“That’s enough!” Twilight then shot a nasty look towards Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow Dash, I know you had an awful time pushing yourself so hard for that race. But technically? You lost, period. The point was to prove how fast the jet was and despite everything else that happened, that particular detail was proven! You're still the fastest pegasus ever, so drop it! Now…” Twilight tried to relax herself, trying to get to the news she wanted to talk about. “There is something really important we have to discuss.”
Rainbow Dash, knowing everyone was against her now, fell quiet, and slowly bit into her sandwich.
“What’s the matter, Sugarcube? Ya lookin’ pretty ornery right now. Been awhile since ah seen you explode like that.” Applejack said, noting how irritable Twilight seemed to be.
“That’s because it’s finally happening. Everypony, listen, Chrysalis is finally making her move.” Twilight announced.
Everyone gasped, except for you and Pinkie, who was just calmly eating her sandwich.
“What?! Then what are we sittin’ around here for?! We gotta go stop her right now!” Applejack said, already demanding swift action.
“We don’t have to do that right now.” You said, speaking up. “She’s starting her attack tomorrow morning. It gives us plenty of time to prepare for her attack instead.”
“Exactly. We have to be very careful on how we do this. Not only do we have to prevent her attack, but we have to do it in a way that doesn’t provoke her into hurting anypony. Furthermore, we have to use this opportunity to show her that we don’t hate her. Remember, we’ve talked about this before.” Twilight explained.
“We have, but after so long, darling, it almost felt like we were wasting some of our resources. The guards have expressed concerns themselves, given how long Chrysalis has been taking.” Rarity explained.
“Be that as it may, it has given us all this time to prepare. We only really need to discuss how we plan to actually pull off tomorrow. Where we’re going to place the guards, reconnaissance, and how we plan to help Chrysalis herself. One of my plans was to stay in the castle where it’d be safe for everypony else, closing off most of it to make sure Chrysalis can’t sneak in from a spot we wouldn’t expect.” Twilight said. "This means there can't be a reason for me to go to the school. Not one."
“Wowie! Twilight! That’s an amazing plan!” Pinkie said with applause. “That would make it where she could only show up through one door, right?”
“Exactly! But…” Twilight lets out a heavy sigh, then looks at you. “Anon, you know her better than any of us. If you have any plans of your own, now is the time to tell us.”
“Hmmm…” You began to ponder to yourself. You only really needed to catch Chrysalis for her plan to fail. Putting someone in harm’s way would be bad, but if you could simply catch her out in the open, then everything should be fine. That’s right, you only really needed her to be known for her plan to be stopped, as her element of surprise would be taken from her. “Ok, so your plan so far sounds pretty good. But how about some traps? Like, cages that could fall right on top of her here in the castle?”
“Ah, yes, that sounds like a splendid idea! Pinkie Pie, if you could lend me some help with the construction of the traps themselves, I could set them around the castle using a string so strong, and yet so thin, that Chrysalis would never be able to notice tripping one until it is too late. I could certainly clear my schedule for the rest of the day for something like this as well, my customers will understand.” Rarity said, wanting to take part in that section of the plan.
“Okie dokie loki! I have lots of stuff from some old pranks I could use to make some traps.” Pinkie said, delighted to help.
“Ok, good! Alright, Rainbow Dash, I need you to gather the Wonderbolts to do some air reconnaissance. Basically, just try to keep your eye on anypony who seems suspicious or out of place. If you see two of the same ponies at the same time, surround them and just call out to them. Don’t try to stop Chrysalis with brute force, just make it known that she’s there.” You explain.
“What?! I’m a look out? C’mon, that’s dumb! Why can’t I just fight her? I can take her down!” Rainbow Dash said, not happy at all with the position you suggested.
“One, I don’t want anypony fighting her because…” You show the shackles on your hooves and clack them together. “And two, the idea is to stop her, not hurt her. Even if you spot her, I don’t want you beating her up, okay?”
“C’mon! Twilight, this is your life here. I get the whole ‘reform’ thing, but this is really serious. How can we be so sure she’ll stop just because we told her to? What if the traps can’t hold her?” Rainbow Dash asked, just wanting to put Chrysalis down. Not for glory, but because she was genuinely worried about Twilight getting killed.
“Then I’ll hold her off myself. I know she is nowhere near as strong as she usually is, so I shouldn’t have too much trouble as long as she doesn’t blindside me. Rainbow Dash, please understand, we’re trying to help her. As long as we play our parts, she won’t be able to get near me.” Twilight says, trying to assure her.
Rainbow Dash huffed and rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. But if she lays a hoof on you, she’s going down!”
You really had to hope Rainbow Dash didn’t screw this up. You weren’t really expecting too much from the Wonderbolts really, but if any one of them can spot Chrysalis, then there’d be no way for her to sneak up on Twilight. “Ok then. Applejack, Aunt Fluttershy, you’re on ground detail. Applejack, can you direct the guards around town to be on the look out for Chrysalis?”
“Ah reckon I can. But how are we gonna tell her apart from anypony else?” Applejack asked. Thankfully, it seemed she was part of the program this time. Probably already noted she was not going to win an argument on this one.
“You probably won’t be able to. But if the castle is closed off to everyone, then all you all really have to do is make sure nopony tries to slip inside.” You explain.
“Ah, now that makes a whole lot of sense. Just gotta be on the lookout for any suspicious types going towards the castle.” Applejack said, instantly understanding the plan. "Like a weasel tryin' to get into a chicken coup."
“Exactly. Aunt Fluttershy, you don’t have to, but if you can, I need you to gather the animals that can sniff scents out best. The idea here is to just have them go around town trying to find a pony who smells like a bug.” You explain.
“Oh, well, as long as they can’t be hurt, then it shouldn’t be a problem to ask my animal friends for that kind of help. Very good idea, Anon, I’m so proud of you.” Ah, Fluttershy. You couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment from her praise.
“Ah, well, heh, y’know. Erm.” You then look over to Starlight and Sunburst. “Hey guys, would you mind just staying inside the castle and watching over Twilight? Maybe whip up some defense spells or be ready to trap Chrysalis in a barrier or something? I think that would help in case she gets by the other traps. Spike, you too, I just want you to fly around the castle in spots you wouldn’t be spotted and keep an eye o-WOAH!” Suddenly, Scrappy falls from the ceiling to the middle of the Cutie Map, spooking everyone as he stomps up to you and stares at you, eye-to-eye.
“Applejack gave me the job to watch over Twilight! So I’ll be sneaking around, watching for the queen, waiting to greet her before I bark the ‘bark of incoming intruders’! A bark I’ve been learning to both warn of intruders and mailponies alike!” Scrappy said, looking back at Applejack with pride. “I’ve been working really hard on it!” He said happily, wagging his tail.
“Ah, er, Scrappy, and that’s real good and all. But Anon ain’t saying you can’t watch over Twilight, he’s just makin’ sure you have some help. Now you don’t mind help, do ya? Ah know you liked to work together with your changeling siblings, right? Is workin’ with Spike and the others so bad? They’re your friends.” Applejack was questioning him just to make sure he understood, while also trying to speak to him in a way that wouldn’t upset him.
Scrappy whimpered as he turned to look at Applejack, his ears drooping. “Y-yes… I guess so. But I want everypony to know right here, right now. I’ll be the one to spot the queen, warn Princess Twilight, and make my family proud!”
“Aw, Scrappy, c’mon now, we’re already proud of ya.” Applejack said with a cheerful smile.
“Oh... THEN I WILL DO IT TO PROVE I AM THE BEST! BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Scrappy cackled, continuing his laughter as he sprouted wings from his doggie back and began to slowly ascend around the roots above him to get to the ceiling of the room.
“Yep… Never gonna get used to him ever.” Starlight said, just staring.
“Yeah… Erm, anyway. I think that’s everypony cove-” But again, you are interrupted by a loud and obnoxious clearing of the throat.
“And what about I? THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!” Trixie exclaimed in bombastic fashion. Fuck, you completely forgot she was here.
…
…
…
“Uhhhhh, I… Uh… Oh! You can watch the outskirts of Ponyville, make sure… Er, Chrysalis, erm, doesn’t try something there.” Good god, you really couldn’t figure out anything for her to do, nor did you want her near Chrysalis anyway. Chrysalis would probably end her life just to end hers.
“An adequate plan, but Trixie has come up with something better. Why doesn’t Princess Twilight just hide in another town, or in the big city? Chrysalis would never be able to find her there, meaning she’d fail in her plan with no risk to anypony at all.” Trixie explains before letting out an arrogant chuckle. “Trixie doesn’t understand why none of you even thought of that. It seems pretty obvious to me.”
… Holy shit, that is a pretty damn good plan.
But then Twilight shook her head. “I have to be here, Trixie. I have to let Chrysalis see I’m willing to face her, and be there for her. She has to see that despite her want to destroy me to get back at Princess Celestia, that I’m still willing to forgive her.”
“Oh, right, we’re reforming her. Hmmm…” Trixie stopped for a moment to think, then stood up, grabbed her sandwich, and began to walk out. “Well, Trixie is stepping out now. I decided to hide and wait with a bucket of water in case she manages to destroy you and burn this castle to the ground.” And with that, she opened the doors, and made her exit.
“But, the castle is made of crystal? Oh, wow, that statement is confusing me.” Sunburst didn’t know what to make of it.
Starlight sighed and put her head down. “Oh, I get it. Mmmm, I guess it’s fine though, it’ll keep her out of trouble. So, is that all, Anon? Nothing else?”
“No, I think that's it. Everypony understands their part of the plan, right?” You asked.
Everyone but Rainbow Dash answered with a resounding “yeah!”. Well, she did say ‘yeah’, she just wasn’t enthused about it. Hopefully you can still count on her. Nah, you probably could, Spitfire would make sure she stays in line.
Fluttershy then suddenly let out a cute “Oh!” as she looked to you, a idea bright in her head. “Anon, why don’t you ask your father for help? I’m sure he’d be able to do something.”
NOPE! You really just couldn’t. Chrysalis hated him. Even if Discord managed to be courteous and good, this was still the guy who tormented her and locked her up in the basement in the first place. “Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Chrysalis REALLY hates dad. I don’t like it, but every time she talks about him, it’s never anything good.”
“Oh… I see…” Fluttershy looked disappointed, hell, you could feel it. You couldn’t figure out why she was so sad about it though. Unless she felt Discord could have made sure Chrysalis wouldn’t have given her a chance to hurt Twilight at all. “Well, I suppose he can be hard to get used to if you don’t get to know him. B-but, that’s why we’re helping her, so she can see that friendship really is a wonderful thing.” and there she went, trying to perk herself back up. She didn’t want you to see her sad, if only because she didn’t want you to blame yourself for upsetting her.
Bah, you decide to take your sandwich into your mouth, holding it, and getting off your seat to join Fluttershy. Looking up at her like a cat, trying to signal that you wanted to sit in front of her. She moves back on her seat the best she could to let you up. It was kinda tight, but she welcomed you nuzzling back into her as she held you close. You spit out the sandwich onto her plate, something you then realized was kinda gross, but she didn’t mind, she just cuddled you close, thinking she was comforting you, when really you were comforting her. It was a moment that grabbed the attention of nearly everyone in the room with a group “Awww.”. Except for Rainbow Dash, who was just into finishing her sandwich.
All that was left was to eat lunch and then… Well, maybe you could use this time to meditate and figure things out, prepare yourself for tomorrow, and hope Chrysalis reforms even the slightest bit.
“...Is this the place, Aunt Fluttershy?” You asked.
After lunch, you just had to excuse yourself. Most everyone wanted to talk to you, but you really just wanted time to yourself, to mentally prepare for the big day tomorrow. However, Fluttershy was a pony you couldn’t deny. While she too was worried, she understood straight away that you really didn’t want to talk about what was going to transpire, if only because you felt worrying about it too much may stress you out and make you screw up. You told her you just wanted to be alone and meditate.
But those words, when you said them to her, you could see there was some hurt in her eyes. She was worried about how you felt, your well being, and just wanted to be there for you. Considering how you always felt that Fluttershy was a calming presence, you immediately rescinded your words and asked her if there was any way she could help you meditate, and if she wanted to meditate with you. Right then and there she had cheered up, and even moreso, she immediately knew what kind of meditation you needed. Well, of course she did, one thing you sometimes forget is that she is good friends with Treehugger, who no doubt taught her a few techniques.
It all led up to the river that went into town, both you and Fluttershy had followed it up until you both reached a large flat stone that sat in the middle of the river, standing above the water. “Mhmm, we’re going to stand right on that rock and meditate. This form of meditation is to allow the mind to flow like the river. Erm, I hope it isn’t too boring for you though, Anon.”
“Huh? Oh, no no. Like I said, I want to meditate. I know I don’t do it… Ever, but I want to now. I’d love to just meditate with you, Aunt Fluttershy. I’m sure it can help both of us!” Letting the mind wander like the river, huh? How exactly were you supposed to do that? You could do that on your bed, with a dirty magazine...and such, and stuff.
Fluttershy nodded, a big smile on her face, she really did want to help. “I know it can, it helps me whenever I’m feeling very very stressed back at the sanctuary. Now, are you ready?”
You nodded. “Mmhmm”
“Okay, here we go.” Fluttershy hovers upwards and gently picks you, flying over the rock to gently place you down before landing behind you. “Are you alright? I hope the rock isn’t too hard.”
You gently tap your hoof on the rock. It was hard, but not as hard as you thought it'd be. Even then, you didn’t know how this was going to help. In fact, standing or sitting on a rock like this seemed troublesome. “N-no, but how does this ‘river meditation’ thing work? Do we just stare at the river and that’s it?”
Fluttershy giggled, gave a gentle pat to your head, and then sat down behind you as she closed her eyes, her ears flicking. “No, Anon. This form of meditation is very special. You close your eyes, like this, and you focus on nothing else but the river’s flow. If you pay attention just hard enough, you can both hear and feel the river move forward and along this rock. Once you hear it, feel it, and you focus on it, nothing else will matter, and your mind will wander in tandem with the river’s flow.”
“Oh, I guess that makes sense.“ You sit down in front of Fluttershy and close your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of the river. “Aunt Fluttershy, you’re not worried about me, are you?” You had to admit, you were curious, given how calm things mostly were when you told everyone the news.
Fluttershy flinched. “Y-you don’t want an honest answer, do you? Y-you’re supposed to be relaxing.”
“I do, a-and I don’t mean to offend you or anything, but I thought the news would have made you faint or something.” You really did, considering the gravity of the situation.
“Oh… Well, erm, it doesn’t offend me, Anon. But, to tell you the truth, I-I am very worried. I know Chrysalis can’t hurt anypony but Twilight, but I also know she can still hurt your feelings… And your heart. I don’t want to think bad things about her, but p-part of me thinks she is inviting you tomorrow just to make you feel miserable. Or worse, to try to trick you in a way to make you hurt Twilight… Or yourself.”
Hmmm. Well, you didn’t have to worry about that, you had pretty thick skin, and there was no way Chrysalis was hypnotizing you in her weakened state. “Aunt Fluttershy, it really is no big deal. Chrysalis is too weak to manipulate my mind. I also know her enough to know that she would want to deal with Twilight personally. I promise you, nothing bad is going to happen.”
Fluttershy sighed, unable to shake her thoughts, as she tried to focus on the river. “I know, and despite everything else, I do want to see her reformed, have her over, and have things like they were when she was Nymous. I know it sounds silly, but I have thought that maybe I could have her work at the shelter to give her something to do and make friends with the animals.”
Huh, that’s interesting. “You wouldn’t mind her around the animals at the shelter?”
“If she was willing to be friendly towards them, and make sure they were cared for, then I wouldn’t mind. I think it’d be a good stepping stone to getting her used to being nice and good.” Fluttershy said “I know she says she doesn’t like being nice, but maybe if she was around the sweet cuddly animals, she’d warm up to it.”
“You’re not worried she’ll get angry and hurt them?” You asked.
“...” Fluttershy went silent, then finally said. “...Now I am.”
Oof, okay then, maybe you shouldn’t have said that. “Sorry. Look, I think we should just start with baby steps until she becomes more comfortable with friendship.” You look back at Fluttershy, and smile towards her. The fact she was willing to give that much of a chance made you feel things would be alright. “Thanks, though, Aunt Fluttershy. The fact you were even willing to let her work at the shelter means a lot to me.”
“Awww, Anon.” Fluttershy looked down at you with a warming smile of her own, and then pulled you in for a gentle hug. “I just… I… I really do feel awful for her. Everything you’ve told me, how could I not at least try?”
Fluttershy…
You snuggled into her for her warmth, her love, to feel like everything really would be alright. Meditation was leaving your mind as you found yourself more comfortable just being in her embrace. Maybe this is all you really wanted, just being comforted, with all the weight you’ve been feeling since Chrysalis came back into your life being lifted off your shoulders. “Aunt Fluttershy?”
“Yes, Anon?” Fluttershy called back to you, gently patting your head.
“Do you think I can really do it? That we can? I always want to believe Chrysalis can be reformed, because I’m her friend, and I can actually count on her when things get serious. But then I also know her hurt, and her ways, it makes her embrace evil. Sometimes it just seems impossible because she holds onto her anger or just enjoys being bad. I’ve seen her be good too, and she actually likes being around my marefriend. But it’s like, she enjoys it but still wants to be evil. That’s why I’m asking if we can do it, if everypony is willing to give up whatever prejudices they have and help me show her there is a better way.” You didn’t even know why you were asking this, you knew Fluttershy was going to look at it optimistically no matter what. And yet, that’s what you wanted to hear, it’s what you wanted to believe. This whole thing was for exactly that.
And as expected… “Of course I do, Anon. And of course I believe that every one of us will make sure to treat Chrysalis as if she was one of us.” Fluttershy then began to look left, then right, and whispered. “Though, convincing Rainbow Dash is going to be a little hard, I promise to talk to her about it before anything bad happens.”
Just Rainbow Dash? “What about Applejack though?”
“I know you may have not noticed, but she’s been really trying too. She’s seen you in school, trying your best and being as honest as you can be, it’s really made her think about the entire situation. Not to mention Scrappy and Applebloom’s friendship, that has really made her think that maybe your friendship with Chrysalis isn’t as bad as she thought. Erm, I also have talked to her about it myself, which, erm, was a little difficult because she was still being a little tiny bit stubborn. B-but yes! She’s willing to give it a try… Erm… As long as nothing bad happens.” Fluttershy explained, not being as fully confident in her words as you had hoped. Still, either way, that was certainly something. It explained why Applejack wasn’t more hesitant back at the castle.
“...Huh, I actually feel pretty great about that. Thank you, Aunt Fluttershy. I mean it, I was scared Applejack was gonna be fussy about it.” Seriously, that’s awesome!
“Well, you have to remember, Anon, you’re not in this alone. You have your friends and family helping you, even if you don’t realize it” Fluttershy said, snuggling you close. “Now, are you ready for the next step in the meditation?”
You nod. “Yeah, I think I am.”
“Ok.” Fluttershy said with a nod as she backed away from you a bit, and slowly began to rise as she stretched her legs out, closed her eyes, spread her wings, and began to balance herself on one hind leg. “So, the next step is to become like the river below you. You close your eyes, and stretch yourself like this so you can let your ‘chi’ flow, I think it's called chi? Erm, anyway, you let your chi flow synchronize with the flow of the river. Synchronize means to basically let your chi flow the same way as the river. After that, you will be very relaxed and find balance within yourself. Treehugger said that to me and I think it's true.”
That was some fortune cookie bullshit, but whatever. Still, how were you supposed to stay balanced on one leg as a quadruped? You were able to nearly stand on both your hind legs for a good while due to your human element, but one?
Nah, you could do it. “Like this?” You said as you did your best to enter the same position Fluttershy was in. However, it only took mere seconds for you to fall forward onto your tummy, startling Fluttershy. “...Or not.”
“Anon!” Fluttershy yelled as she quickly hopped up from her one hoof, into the air, to lift you up and snuggle you. “Are you alright?! Did you hurt yourself?!”
“Er, n-no. I just…” Bah, you didn’t ready yourself. You were sure with a little more focus, you could manage it. “I just fell, that’s all. C’mon, Aunt Fluttershy, you know I’m tougher than that.”
“I know, I just got a little worried when I saw you fall. I know you’re my tough little gentlecolt, but you’re not invincible. You need to be careful.” Fluttershy explained to you as she gently put you back down. She then stood behind you, ready to catch you if you fell again.
“I know. But really, look, I got this. All I have to do is balance on this leg here and-AGH!” You fell backwards, only to be caught by Fluttershy’s face as she gently pushed up to get you back on your hooves.
“Anon… maybe this form of meditation isn’t for you. We could try something else, like, erm… How about just sitting up on a hill, enjoying the nature around us?” Fluttershy suggested, obviously being overly worried over nothing.
“Aunt Fluttershy, trust me, I got this. If you can do it, then I can-CRFSDFS” You wasted no time in making another attempt, only this time tripping far forward, falling into the river as Fluttershy lets out a shriek.
God fucking dammit! You just let yourself sink into the river, aggravated with yourself that you somehow couldn’t balance yourself on one freaking leg. The current was slow, so it wasn't anything to worry about. Whatever, who the fuck cares? You didn’t need to balance on one leg to be cool, or meditate, or whatever. Hell, you didn’t even need to meditate! Why did you need that? There was such a thing as just pigging out until you get tired and fall fast asleep! Balancing on one hoof is stupid anyway. And…
There was a fish staring back at you.
You swat it away, not wanting to deal with it as you occupied your mind with better ideas. But then, the damned thing just swam back to stare at you again. You grumbled, and smacked it away this time. Fucking fish, why was it even staring at you? It’s like it somehow saw you as a DSGDGSFDG
“GYAAAAAAH!” You screamed as you jumped out of the river and back onto the rock. “Ow! Ow! My tail!” You looked back and the damn thing was still biting onto it like it was a damned fishing rod! You quickly got up and began to swish your tail left and right as you tried to shake it off. “Get off! Ow! Stop! Biting!”
“Anon, Anon! It’s ok! Relax.” Fluttershy tried to calm you down, but she was also in utter dismay that a fishy friend would just bite you like that. “Mister Fishy! We do not bite down on the tail of others! What do you have to say for yourself?”
The fish, of course, says nothing. But it seemed to have understood as it let go of your tail, using the momentum of your little butt dance to let itself fly back into the river. With the fish detached, you looked back to get a better look at your tail, which had many of its hairs missing, revealing your tiny nubby rear appendage. “...If it isn’t my head, it's my freaking tail. Ugh…” You let yourself fall on your belly and let out a small whine. “I hate meditation…”
“Anon, oh my little Anon.” Fluttershy said as she gently picked you up, patting at your back as she turned her body left and right to comfort you. “Are you alright? I can’t believe a fishy friend would do that to you, or anypony really. I’m so so so so sorry meditation hasn’t worked out like you wanted it to.”
She couldn't believe it? Oy, one of these days Angel himself is going to raise an army of animals to thrash you and somehow, SOMEHOW, she still won't notice. That fish obviously just hated you for... Some reason you couldn't think of at the moment. “I-It’s fine… I’m alright. I just, I just think today isn’t a good day for it. Can we just, erm, go to the cottage so I can take a big nap? And er, get my tail bandaged up? I don’t have any charges right now to fix it.”
“Of course. Come on, I’ll take care of you until you’re all better, ok?” Fluttershy nuzzled onto you, and then gently placed you on her back as she slowly and gently took off into the air, to fly you to the cottage.
Ugh… Note to self, turn that fish into a stick when you get the chance.
Bah, whatever, it'd be ok. You'd take a nap, eat dinner, then go back to sleep to get up super early. Because tomorrow, oh yes, tomorrow was going to be a big day.
There you laid, eyes wide open, under the warm embrace of a sleeping yellow pegasus.
Yesterday, well, it was calming. After the meditation thing went south, you just opted for staying in the cottage and just resting or napping. Though, that did get boring, prompting you to help Fluttershy tidy up the place using the basic magic your horn allowed, an act that didn’t go unnoticed as Fluttershy, for once, made you something at your request rather than it being some health crap. She even made sure Angel stayed on his best behavior. Honestly, it was the best kind of meditation you could have gotten.
And yet, you laid there, staring into the dark, with only tiny beams of light poking through the window as the sun ever slowly makes its appearance. It was that time, and despite everything going better before you went to bed, you found yourself filled with terrible dread.
Why? You thought you were ready. But for some reason, the thought of losing Chrysalis, losing Twilight, or things falling apart in general wouldn’t stop dancing in your mind. You thought you’d be able to handle this like a pro, but the feeling you were going to make some sort of mistake was torturing your very soul.
You could just stay in bed, not worry about it, but then what would Chrysalis do? What if this was the last day she had to execute her plan, and you not being there meant her end as she just waited for you to arrive. It made you shiver to know your inaction could be even worse than taking action.
You had to get up, get ready, and just go.
You slowly squirm and wiggle out of Fluttershy’s embrace, not wanting to wake her, and hop off the bed. You take your saddle bag, wanting to be ready in case anything bad happened. Your horn, you had to deplete your three charges now, just in case Chrysalis pulled some bullshit and said something like “YOU FOOL! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HONESTLY TRUSTED ME! HOW NAIVE!”. Or some shit like that.
You put on your horn, and use your charges to produce a scroll that never stopped floating and another to produce a quill of ever changing color. Dumb items for sure, but you’d use them to leave a note for Fluttershy and-
“Anon?” You hear, a whisper behind you.
Shit! You look behind yourself to see Fluttershy on the bed, turned to face you, a worried and tired look on her face. “Aunt Fluttershy? You’re awake.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Mhmm, it is the morning. And… Well, I really couldn’t sleep with you shaking like that. At first, I thought you were cold. But then I realized you were worried, and I tried to think of something to tell you to help you calm down, but then I thought if I held you close, you’d feel safe.”
Mmmm… “Sorry, Aunt Fluttershy, I didn’t mean to worry you like that.”
“Oh no no!” Fluttershy quickly hopped out of bed to give you a comforting snuggle “Don’t apologize over something like that, never apologize for something like that. You’re family, no matter what, so if I worry about you, it’s because I care about you.”
Fluttershy… “I… I know. I just, I dunno, I thought this would be easier. I guess I’m just worried that something bad is going to happen. I didn’t even think I’d be scared like this, it seemed so much easier when I thought whatever plan she might have was going to be easy to thwart.”
“Well, who said it wouldn’t be? I know, deep deep down, that Chrysalis cares about you. If anypony can stop her, it’ll be you. Why, I bet she’ll come around before she even decides to leave her home.” Fluttershy said, trying to cheer you up. “I bet we don’t have to prepare at all.”
Did she really mean that? Wait, no, you knew this trope. Still, it felt calming to you to just hear that from her, so you held back from asking if she truly meant it. “You’re probably right. I know her inside and out, and there is no possible way she can get close to Twilight. I don’t even think she could get to the town. I mean, if I’m with her, I could just alert everypony anyway. Yeah… If she wants me to be there, whatever cover she has would be blown anyway. Woah…” Holy shit, how did you not even consider that?
Fluttershy too, seemed astonished. “That’s right. Um, maybe she really has no plan after all. It seems so odd to involve you, even more than before. Even if you didn’t stop her, you could still tell us where she is so we can instead.” Fluttershy then giggled at the thought. “I think that might be it. Oh my, I might have to prepare something for her to show her we don’t mean any harm.”
“Well, I know when it comes to physical food, she can eat popcorn and lasagna. So, yeah, that’s something. But, uh, just in case, let’s just stick with the plan. I just used two of my charges, and I’m going to use my third one to teleport to her house. It’s still possible she might try to get away from me so she can get at Twilight.” You explain.
“Two of your charges? Oh my, do you think she might try to take the horn from you?” Fluttershy asked, worried.
“She says she doesn’t need it, but just in case, I’m making sure it’s useless to her. Diamond said I should be careful, to not underestimate her.” You really had to consider her words now. You can’t make a single mistake.
Fluttershy nodded. “A good idea. But are you really sure she can’t hurt you? I swear, even though I want her to be good, if she touches a single hair on you, I’ll do something really bad to her. I-I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s something I wouldn’t approve of.”
Heh, that made you wonder what she would have done to the Storm King if she actually managed to get her hooves on him. “She can’t, she can’t hurt anypony but Twilight, so I’ll be fine. Besides, if anything does go super wrong, I’ll call Dad as a last resort.”
Fluttershy seemed to be relieved by those words. “Good, I know your father can protect you in ways I couldn’t. I-I just hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“It won’t…” You move up to Fluttershy to give her a hug, something she returns before giving you a kiss on the forehead. “I love you, Aunt Fluttershy. I’ll see you soon, ok? And I’ll have a big sister right behind me.”
“Anon, my little gentlecolt.” Fluttershy said, still worried, but doing her best to seem calm as to not to worry you. “I love you too. You be careful, ok?”
“I will. Seeya soon, promise!” You say with a salute, as you vanish.
All three charges used. You really hoped her plan involved the horn, it’d make it easier to stop her, just because you wouldn’t have to worry about anything else.
You appear in front of her door, nothing seeming amiss so far. You take a deep breath, and start to knock. “Chrysalis? It’s me, Anon, I’m here to see your evil plan.”
It took her no time to speak, it seemed she was waiting for you, waiting for the very moment you knocked on her door. “The door is unlocked, Anon. Please, come in.” She sounded pretty jovial, was she that excited to show you her plan?
“Alright…” You take another breath, and step inside to the main hall. “Chrysalis?” You looked around, she wasn’t at the top of the stairs, nowhere in the hall itself, nor was she creeping around on the ceiling or walls behind you. “Chrysalis?”
“I can hear you, Anon. Be patient, I want to make a grand entrance. Trust me, you’ll find it very ‘cool’, as you’d say.” She said, ominously, her voice echoing from someplace.
“...Is that a pun? Is the house going to turn to ice or something?” Crap, she got ice powers?! That isn’t good! Did she make a plan with the windigos? Is that even possible?!
Suddenly, she began to yell angrily. “A pun?! Do you think so low of me to think I’d make a pun like that?! Anon, I am a sophisticated queen with sophisticated tastes! Ah…” Suddenly, you heard her go from angry, to snickering once more. “But, I won’t allow it to annoy me. I won’t allow you to infect me with ‘your’ friendship like those ponies have infected you. Are you ready, Anon?”
As she spoke, the main hall began to grow darker, you didn’t notice, but black tree roots were twisting around the windows, covering them, as the ground began to shake, giant roots bursting through the ground around you, bursting through the ceiling. You were stunned alright, you couldn’t even move. What?! You looked down to see roots growing around your legs, until they were locked in place. What in the fuck?! “What?! What is this?!”
Then the laughing came, The roots that burst through the ceiling began to come back down, shaped like a throne as Chrysalis sat upon it, cackling. “My new power, Anon. From somepony I can consider a real friend.” Chrysalis said with a dark chuckle as the throne lowered down in front of you. She hopped off to look down at you with an evil smirk. “I bet you weren’t expecting this.”
No, you fucking weren’t! “What is this?! Is this the power of the fucking Everfree?! How?! Ngh!” But then, those words. ‘Consider a real friend’. “Chrysalis, what in the fuck are you doing?!”
“Truthfully? Nothing. Like I said, this all comes from one I can consider my true friend. Somepony who enjoys everything I enjoy, including my lust for revenge.” Chrysalis snickered, then, almost giddily, began to speak in a sing song fashion. “Guess who it is! Come on, guess! You know you want toooo guuuesssss.”
Oh god… Maybe it really was… Maybe the Storm King was right… And you just… You didn’t see it.
“C-Cozy Glow?” Who else could it be? It pained you to say that, considering what she’s been through, and how nice she was. But, you truly somehow couldn’t let his words go. Fuck, and yet you did nothing to stop it! FUCK! CHRYSALIS HAS THE STAFF!
“Who?” Chrysalis said in confusion. “What kind of stupid name is that?”
Wut?
“You… Aren’t doing this with a chaos staff?” Ok, so now you had to consider yourself a dumbass for even guessing that. But if it wasn't Cozy Glow, and it wasn’t the staff, then what was it?
“Ugh, always a mood killer.” Chrysalis says as she rolls her eyes. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. You don’t matter anymore. Anon, allow me to introduce you to… My friend.” Chrysalis stepped aside as the throne began to open up, a small figure jumping down from it with an evil smirk. That pony, you… what?! It was… You?! “Anon.” Chrysalis said as she began to cackle once more.
“Uh, really? I thought we agreed on Dark Anon.” The other you said. Indeed, this Anon. His eyes, crueller looking, his colors were darker, his teeth were somehow sharper, and his cutie mark… It was a twisted looking version of your own. And on top of his head? A horn?! This one, it was different, it was black, twisted, like the roots around you. What in the goddamn...
“Are you seriously going to ruin my moment with that nonsense? Why do you insist on that stupid name?” Chrysalis said, her mood immediately destroyed once again, this time by the aggravated evil you.
“Because it sounds cooler. Like, the dark version of anything always gets the ladies, and the shipping, and the better fan art. No one is going to call me ‘Anon’, that'd be fucking dumb. That’s like calling Wario Mario, it’s stupid and just doesn’t work.” The evil you said, rolling his eyes at Chrysalis.
Chrysalis groaned as she brought her hoof to her forehead. “Great… A minute in and I already regret everything.”
“...And there we go, nice and secure.” The evil Anon said with a cruel cackle. His horn, it seemed to give him the ability to grow, control, and even detach dark and twisted looking tree roots. Why? You had no idea, you didn’t get his affinity to wood at all. And it seemed like you weren’t going to find out either. In addition to your legs being rooted to the ground, he also used his magic to grow roots around your horn and along the inside of your ear.
“And what does this accomplish, exactly? He already can’t move.” Chrysalis said, wondering why her evil little clone of you was even bothering with such an action.
“Deus ex machina, it’s something that can just happen if we let it. If I use my magic to cover up his ear and trap his horn, he won’t be able to use his codec or his magic… Not that you have any.” Evil Anon said, looking directly at you with a cocky smirk. "Used up all them charges before getting here, didn't you?"
“Fuck you! I can’t even fucking believe you exist! What are you? A changeling conditioned to be me?” Seriously, where did he come from? And this magic, it didn’t seem like changeling magic. Could it be another you from another dimension? Was Chrysalis capable of doing that?
“Nah, I’m a clone. A clone without any of your weaknesses. That’s right, I’m Anon two point oh! I am fucking Dark Anon! The true prince of chaos, bringer of destruction, and Chrysalis’s soon to be lover. Isn’t that right, Chrysalis?” Dark Anon said with a wink, looking directly at her as he blew a kiss.
Chrysalis, like with you, seemed disgusted for a moment before she smiled and looked towards you with a wicked leer. Ignoring his flirting. “He’s simply a better version of you, Anon. All your best qualities with none of the weaknesses. Somepony who I can spend my time with, and will do my bidding. Not to mention being the key to Celestia’s ruin. Tell me, how does it make you feel being so easily replaced.” Chrysalis then made a pouty face at you "Does iwt hwurt?"
…
…
It actually did hurt. Did she really replace you? She somehow created this clone, in your image, to be what she wanted you to be. She really was that selfish, that cruel, that she’d simply make a copy of you to get what she wanted. And the fact she was taunting you over it? No wonder Celestia and Luna felt the way they did. “I… honestly can’t believe it. But, why? How could you do it, Chrysalis? Everything we shared together, everything we talked about, and this is what you decide to do? You know he really isn’t me, right? We’re not the same!”
“He likes the same films, hates ponies, and still has that whimsical foolish charm you do. So you’re right, he’s not the same. He’s simply better than you are. Deal with it, Anon. Or don’t, I don’t really care. The only reason you haven’t been destroyed is due to our arrangement. But soon that will be complete, thanks to Dark Anon.” Chrysalis said, looking over you like a lion looking upon their prey.
Did she figure out the trope then? Or does this false you have the know how to use the ‘unknown clone’ trope to kill Twilight without being caught? That was it, wasn’t it? He wasn’t going to fall for the usual shit, and go straight for Twilight, then run off… Chrysalis wasn’t even going to destroy you, she was going to use you as a scapegoat. “So that’s it then? You knew I wouldn’t help you, and you knew you’d get caught going after Twilight. I didn’t think you were going to rely on somepony else to do your dirty work. But using a clone of me to do it? That’s just… You really are willing to throw away everything for your revenge then? Even me? You’re fine with using me as your scapegoat? You do know what that will mean, right?”
“Ding ding ding, you’re right! And who cares? Nobody! Just face it, shit for brains, I exist to fulfill all her needs. And if you’re trying to get into her head, don’t bother, I already warned her you’d use your tropey tricks to try to get something out of her. And even if I didn’t tell her, I exist, so you’d still fuck up thanks to me. It really is funny, isn’t it? You may know what I’m going to do, but I always knew what you were going to do. Strange, isn’t it?” Evil Anon said, his smile wide and vicious as he… Wait a second…
“Did you fucking make a fucking Sonic reference? Really?” Like come on, what the fuck was that?
“Fuck off! When the hell was I ever going to get another chance to make it?! See, this is why you could never be Chrysalis’s best friend, you can’t even appreciate a good refere-'' But suddenly, Evil Anon is interrupted as Chrysalis growled with aggravation.
“Silence! I will speak for myself, and I will not tolerate these annoyances.” Chrysalis said, approaching you as she gestured towards your evil self to step aside. “Anon, you had your chance. I waited, and held this off in hopes you would realize I was right and that you would join me at my side. But you did this to yourself, you shunned me for your precious idiotic friends and your desperate need to reform me despite your Princess ruining MY life. You abandoned me for them, and so I created him to take your place. And do you want to know the best part in all this is?” Chrysalis asked, as she looked ever closer to you with an evil look.
T-the best part? “W-what do you mean ‘best part’? What are you planning?”
“Oh, you misunderstand. The best part isn’t what’s coming, it’s the circumstances of your clone’s creation. See, I had to perfect this particular cloning spell, which took me quite some time to do. I needed a picture of you, which was easy to retrieve considering how many of them were created by that moronic draconequus. Your hair? Well, you also know how easy that was to get. But then, there was my secret ingredient, a special something I added that came directly from you. I didn’t know if it’d work, but considering the power of this Anon’s horn, I’d say it came out better than anypony could have hoped. Now, can you guess what that special something is?” Chrysalis asked, becoming quiet, scary even, as she actually awaited your guess.
“I… I don’t know.” You didn’t know, and at this moment, you could only feel pain and despair over this. She didn’t care about you, she actually dropped you just like that for a fucking clone. How? Considering you sat through the ending of season four, how did you not see this fucking coming?
“The porcelain, Anon. The porcelain you left behind after one of your battles with that Storm King. See, I told you I have a good understanding of your magic, and I figured using a direct conjuration born of your powerful magic would have a grand effect on the birth of my little clone. And what an effect it had. He has all of your memories, durability, and thanks to the chaos stored inside the porcelain, a horn, while not equaling your power, is unlimited in use and good for what I need it for… Destroying Twilight Sparkle.” Suddenly, Chrysalis burst into maniacal evil laughter. “Soon, soon I’ll have my revenge! And the irony is, you did help me, Anon. A shame you couldn’t see it through to the end. And that realization of your own stupidity? That is the best part!”
… This couldn’t be it. Surely she wasn’t that willing to throw everything away. You were there when she was drunk, her delight in getting to watch movies with others, and even hanging around Diamond. “Dammit, Chrysalis! What about Diamond?! She cares about you. Are you going to throw her away too?”
Chrysalis scoffed at your words. “I can condition her with my hypnosis once my strength has fully returned to me. Anything else?”
...So that’s it then? You suddenly had a flash of memories go right by you, filling you with anger as you began to struggle, to try to break free. “So that’s fucking it then?! Everything, fucking everything, for nothing?! You’re throwing away everything! EVERYTHING! Fuck you, Chrysalis, fuck you! I bent over backwards for you, I practically gave you everything you asked. I was there for you when you needed me most! But this?! You fucking throw it all away for a fucking clone?! You know what? Once I get out of this, I’m going to kill you myself! DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU’RE FUCKING DE-” But before you could finish your sentence, roots began to grow out from the ground and wrap around your mouth.
“Christ, shut the fuck up already.” Evil Anon said with an eye roll as he turned towards Chrysalis with a smirk. “I know he looks good, but I can’t see how you put up with that shithead.”
Chrysalis, for just a small moment, had seemed visibly stunned by your words. But she just looked back at your evil self with a tired sigh. “He was amusing, but only for a distraction.” Chrysalis then let out a laugh. “He honestly thought he was the most important thing in Equestria. It’s pathetic, really.”
“Tell me about it. Wait, scratch that, don’t, I already know. Man, I wanna kill him right now. Leaving him alive is not a good idea, you know that, right?” Evil Anon said.
“Hm, don’t worry about it, we have a princess to destroy. Your pathetic self will be safe here while we enact our plan, and will remain safe until EVERYTHING is complete.” Chrysalis said, staring directly into your eyes with an ever stoic expression.
“Alright, I get it. But, ah, wait a second. There’s something I want first.” Evil Anon said as he began to slowly walk up the steps, stopping to look back at Chrysalis with a sensuous grin.
“What? What do you need from up there? If you want Anon’s saddlebag, you can take that.” Chrysalis said, pointing at it as she slowly began to become impatient. “This is not the time to fool around.”
“Actually, it is the PERFECT time to fool around.” Evil Anon said, blowing a kiss at Chrysalis.
Chrysalis’s eyes narrowed at him. She slowly approached him, slowly realizing what he could have meant, while still being in disbelief. “What do you mean by that exactly?”
“Chrysalis, we are walking in on super prepared ponies here. If you want me to put in the work, then you gotta work my shaft. You know what I’m talking about, right?” Evil Anon said, wiggling his eyes at her.
And oh boy, did she get it. She immediately grew furious as she jumped over him, bringing her face down to his as she shouted. “YOU WRETCHED LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! YOU DARE TRY TO BARGAIN WITH ME?! YOU FUCKING DARE TO WITHOLD MY VICTORY BECAUSE YOU WANT WHAT YOU THINK YOU DESERVE?! I MADE YOU! I AM YOUR CREATOR! AND WHATEVER I TELL YOU TO DO, YOU DO, IS THAT CLEAR?!”
But Evil Anon, despite now laying on his back under her, didn’t seem so scared. He just nodded slowly and asked. “Is that how you want it?”
“That is exactly how it is! And if you dare try to bargain with me in such a way again, I will make sure you’ll never feel anything but pain. Now…” Chrysalis backed off from him and began to walk towards the exit of her home. “We need to get to Ponyville quickly and see what defense-” But before she could finish her sentence, roots burst from the ground and wrap around Chrysalis, completely hindering her movements. “What is this?! What are you doing?!”
Evil Anon began to slowly walk down the stairs as he dusted himself off. “Bitch, what does it look like? I’m going solo.”
“Going solo? Going solo?” Chrysalis let out a sarcastic chuckle before becoming red with fury. “YOU THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITHOUT ME?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”
Oh no, oh god no. Would you have done this if you were evil? Because it was clear to you already. He didn’t get sex, so he doesn’t want to play along anymore. Since you knew the tropes of villainy, then you knew he knew it too. And if he knew it, and if he’s evil enough, he knew how to make events play out to his advantage. But, was that it? Was he really going to do it? Even you never REALLY considered taking over Equestria. This seemed like an odd move to you.
“I’m the greatest villain that ever lived. Bitch, face it, you’re a goddamn failure. You lost to a love bubble, then to shit for brains over here, then Discord, then fucking Celestia! Who the fuck loses to the jobber princesses? I was willing to play along as long as the poon was good. But fuck, Anon was right, you just fucking suck.” Evil Anon said, laughing, clearly enjoying himself.
Chrysalis was stunned for a moment. Was it hurt? Regret? Hatred? Whatever it was, she began to struggle even further as she shouted at him. “You little INGRATE! I promised you everything you could want, and you throw it away because I wouldn’t lie in bed with you?! You pathetic little fool, you could have had anypony you want after we took over Equestria!”
Evil Anon shrugged as he looked over at you. “Yeeeeah, I doubt that was gonna be a thing. For a lot of reasons, like you being a failure. But also…” Suddenly, the root over your mouth turns to ash as Evil Anon approaches you. “...I knew if you never put out for this guy, you were never going to put out for me, so I had to plan ahead. Look, Chrysalis, I know I haven’t been around for a long time, but I really don’t want to wait for something that MIGHT happen when I could have had it now. What about you? You know what I’m talking about, right?”
“I’m going to fucking kill you when I get out of this, you know that, rig-” But suddenly your eyes go wide when you realized something. If he’s betraying Chrysalis, then he was going to kill you, wasn’t he? It stunned you, it filled you with absolute dread that you suddenly just froze. Villains of Equestria are one thing, but this was you, and if he was smart… He’d end you.
“Ah, relax, my guy, you just won the lottery. Kinda need you alive to take the blame for Twilight’s murder. Come on, what are you afraid of? It’s a basic villain plan, you should be able to figure it out in your head.” Evil Anon said as he gave you a gentle pat on the cheek.
He wasn’t going to kill you? No, that makes sense, if he was still keen on killing Twilight, then he’d need a patsy to take the blame. Why he still wanted to kill Twilight, you couldn’t figure that out for some reason. Or, maybe since you found Twilight annoying, it turned into absolute hatred for him. But to use you as a patsy, he’d have to go into hiding after killing Twilight. He’d also need a way to make it seem like you’d really do it, otherwise Fluttershy and Discord could say it really wasn’t you, as they knew you, and they'd go hunting for him. He’d need one more thing to make it seem like you’d do it, perhaps even using chaos to explain away a reason as to doing it. That thing, what was it? What would make you go crazy? He could kill Fluttershy if he wanted, but then Discord would no doubt intervene immediately like it was some six sense… Which fucking dammit, you really REALLY could use that fucking sense going off right now.
But then, if he can’t kill Fluttershy, and you knew he couldn’t, and he knew he couldn’t. Then the one he could kill, the one to make it seem like you were crushed under pressure and love and need to reform, enough to make it seem like you went insane was…
You turned your head towards Chrysalis, he was going to kill her?
“Bingo! You’re right on target. I don’t have to explain it to you either, do I? If everyone thinks you're willing to kill Chrysalis and Twilight, then they’ll think you went fucking nuts. Why does it even seem to bother you? You hate the bug bitch now, and Twilight fucking sucks. Sure, you’re gonna rot in a dungeon forever, but you had a good run, right?” Evil Anon said as he looked you over. “Sad you’re not a girl, I would have settled with fucking myself.”
For some reason, it did bother you, for Chrysalis that is. Why? She brought this on herself, she betrayed you, she threw everything away for this fucking fake. Her motives were so shallow, and she did it with such relative ease. And yet, all those better moments with her, how she risked her life for you, all the hurt she had to deal with. God you were a sap.
“You think you can destroy me?! Coward, why don’t you try actually fighting me instead of using a sneak attack? Come on! Lets see how long you last!” Chrysalis shouted, still struggling in her bonds.
Evil Anon groaned, but never took his eyes off of you. “In a second, bitch, I’m not done here.”
“Why? Why do you want to go with the plan? You don’t care about revenge, and it sure as hell isn’t going to let you take over Equestria.” You had to know his reasons. For some reason, even you couldn’t figure it out, you still had to know. Unless he went on a murder spree and wasn’t stopped, there was no way killing Twilight would help him in any way. “So why?”
“Easy. Chaos, you should know about that, right? I throw this entire world into turmoil, make Discord go fucking crazy from losing you and then later on, Fluttershy. Let him wreck the world, and then finally let the cold chills of the Windigos fuck things up. The only place with any heat left is gonna be this house, and it's gonna be mares only, baby. They are gonna be the ones I let in to ‘survive’. Sorry to say, you won’t be getting any invites. And yeah, I will eventually kill you and take the horn, but only after Discord gives up and becomes a sad unmoving husk. God, you’d think it wouldn’t work out like that, but then you realize Equestria is made up of sentimental idiots. I’m gonna get so much fucking pussy, man.” Evil Anon said as he began to cackle.
“You’re fucking sick.” You replied, trying to desperately break out again. “I’m going to fucking kill you! If you even touch Fluttershy, I’m going to fucking bury you!”
“Touch her? Oh yeah, I’ll probably do that. And your marefriend, and her mom, and all those sexy maids too. Ooooh baby, ponies are fucking hot.” Evil Anon said lustfully.
“YOU FUCKING! CHRYSALIS WAS RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING, YOU’RE A GODDAMN COWARD! LET ME GO! FIGHT ME, FUCKFACE! YOU WANNA BE ME? THEN FUCKING FIGHT ME FOR IT!” Dammit, Anon, break free! GET OUT!
“Hmmmmmmmmm, nah. I’m not a stupid idiot. But hey, you wanna see something funny? Bugbutt there probably hasn’t been paying attention with all her fucking bitching. But I know something you don’t know.” Evil Anon said in a rather sing-song way.
“Wha-HRRRRRK!” Suddenly, roots began to wrap around your neck and began to strangle you. And yet, Chrysalis did not die… But you sure were.
“Her plan is over. It’s my gig now, which means the shackles are off. And, well, I kinda am getting a boner watching you both suffer. I can see why bad guys get off on it now. Hey, Chry-Oh now, what is this?” Evil Anon looked back at Chrysalis, she was suddenly upside down in her restraints, still struggling, and seemingly almost free. And yet, this didn’t really seem to bother him too much. “Cute, really cute. But, hey, Chrysalis, look at me, look at me, then look at him, check out what I’m doing.”
Chrysalis, realizing his attention was now back on her, tenses for a moment before looking back at him with a smirk. It seems she too noticed her shackles were off. She was already quick to note this as her horn began to glow. “Oh, are you calling for me? Good, because I’m about to turn you into-W-what are you doing? What are you doing?!”
“Ahhhh! You mean this? Does it bother you?” Evil Anon said as his eyes shifted to your choking form. He then stepped close to you, knowing she wouldn’t fire a magical shot if it meant hurting you. Which meant…
“You won’t do it…” Chrysalis said in a low voice, staring directly at him.
“Oh, you know I will. I may not be human, but ‘human tenacity substitute’ is just as good. Why do you care anyway? You replaced me for him, right?” Evil Anon said, as he increased the grip on your neck.
“Y-you… Do you think I care?! I’ll destroy you both if I have to! I’m no longer tied to those accursed shackles!” Chrysalis said with a growl.
“If you were going to do it, you wouldn’t be hesitating. But that’s fine, I got what I needed.” Evil Anon said as he made the roots around your neck turn to ash. “God, you’re both pathetic. And you? You’re no fun. ‘I’m going to destroy you’ ‘Do you think I care?’, puh, god, like right off a script.” Evil Anon then brought a root from the ground, this one had a mysterious red tip, and he pointed it right at Chrysalis. “I’d say the whole ‘Any last words’ thing, but whatever, I’m bored.” And suddenly, the red tip fired like a rocket towards Chrysalis’s neck…
It… IT…!
With only a gasp before impact, Chrysalis had no time to retort as her head was completely severed and fell to the ground, rolling towards Evil Anon’s legs. Evil Anon just looked at her flailing form, watching as it finally stopped moving. He sighed boredly. “What? No anime amounts of blood spray? Man, I really wanted to laugh while bug guts just flew everywhere. Whatever, it was nice knowing you Chrysalis, for your ass anyway. You almost escaped, but not really.”
...It really happened.
She was gone, just like that.
Even after she betrayed you. Even after everything she said. For some reason, you were still hurt. You still cared about her. Those moments… Those moments never died for you. They never died… Until she…
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU KILLED HER! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! LET ME GO! FUCKING DAMMIT! LET ME GO!” You began to struggle, crying, using all your strength to try to break free. “CHRYSALIS! CHRYSALIS! NO! DAMMIT!... Dammit… No…” You began to slow down, nothing you were doing was working. You couldn’t save her.
YOU… You… you didn't even get a chance to talk to her, to tell her that you still cared. To say goodbye.
You killed her.
“HAHAHA! Now that’s fucking delicious!” Evil Anon said as he slapped you in the face. You didn’t respond, and he just savored your now broken will. “Oh god, this feels so damn good. Being evil is fucking amazing! Oh, oh, ooooh. Dude, trust me, I’d be willing to do horrible things to you right now, and make you my bitch, but I got bigger fish to fry. Man, you really need to get your priorities straight. But fuck it, have fun being a crying baby for the next few hours.” Evil Anon said with a dark laugh as he began to become covered in a ball of roots, pushing his way out the front door like a roller ball.
All you could do now was stare at Chrysalis’s fallen head. No, you couldn’t even look at that.
You failed. You failed everyone. You were going to lose everyone. Everyone was going to hate you, and all you’d ever know is unending pain. Pain from losing your loved ones. He was going to kill them too, drive Discord insane, and much more…
All because you had to care about someone everyone else told you was evil.
You lose…
Game over...
Chapter 196 - Chrysalis's Grand Plan - Confessions
You could barely struggle anymore, what was the point?
You couldn’t use your horn, you couldn’t use your codec, and your saddlebag was out of your reach. These roots were too strong for you to break, and your evil clone self was off to kill Twilight and ruin your life.
“Anon.”
Fluttershy, Diamond, Starlight… Your friends, all your friends, they were in great danger, and there was nothing you could do. You were bested, ironically, by yourself.
“...Anon.”
You try pulling your hooves again, to try to break the roots, but nothing happens. Chrysalis, there was nothing you could do. You spoiled her with your magic, didn’t pay attention to the signs, and let her do what she needed to betray you. You somehow still cared about her, but that was probably only to the Chrysalis you thought you knew. It didn’t matter anyway. Due to her own hubris, everyone was going to-
“ANON!” A voice yelled out to you as a hoof came crashing to the side of your face.
“Ow! Wha? Who’s there?! Who did-” But you were stopped short in your words as you looked up to see none other than Chrysalis herself, staring at you, annoyed. B-but how?! You saw her get decapitated! Holy shit! Yes! The worst thing that can ever be written, immediate fake out death, has happened! She’s alive and… Wait, why is this a good thing? You had to deal with the reality, and she was probably going to kill you now. You began to redouble your efforts to escape again, despite you doing no better than before.
Chrysalis just looked at you, finding your actions odd. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to escape so I can beat you, then go kill my clone. Fuck off, Chrysalis! I’m not falling for any of your tricks anym-NGH!” Suddenly, you feel telekinetic magic envelop your head as you feel yourself being pulled upward. It hurt! You still weren’t budging. “W-what are you doing?! Stop that!”
“Shut up and relax your limbs, you fool. I’m trying to get you out of there.” Chrysalis said as she began to pull harder.
Dammit, this really was hurting! You do what she says, and quickly exhale and relax your legs. With a few pops in your neck and legs, you pop out of your restraints before falling face first onto the floor. “Omph!”
“Well, now that that’s over with, let us go… What are you doing now?” Chrysalis asked as you bolted towards your saddle bag, pulled out your Starlight Hook, and put it on, aiming it directly at her.
“I’m not going anywhere! You really think I’m that stupid, don’t you? I’m not falling for any more of your schemes, Chrysalis!” For some reason, aiming your hook at her, knowing this was it, you started to tear up. “Stand down… Please, just leave me alone.”
Chrysalis just rolled her eyes at you as she shook her head. “Oh, I see, I see where this is going. You really thought I was just going to drop you, just like that?”
Don’t fall for it, Anon. “Fuck off with your shit, Chrysalis! Your plan failed, your clone betrayed you, and I’m not going to fall for take backsies now. Last warning, back off, or else!”
“The one time you’re suspicious of me, and I’m not even trying to manipulate you. Are we really going to do th-” Chrysalis just stands there as you shoot the hook around her neck. She just calmly looks at the line, and groans. “I see we are doing this. Alright then, Anon, before you shock me, would you mind answering one question?”
Should you? “You better make it a good one, or else it’s lights out.”
“Alright then. Let me ask you this. Given the curse that I placed upon myself in the first place, how was I able to survive all this time without sapping large amounts of love from creatures around my home?” Chrysalis asked
...And thinking about it now, that was actually an interesting question. Why… Why did it compel you to listen? “Because the curse was fake?”
Chrysalis shook her head. “Now we both know that isn’t true. As for the answer…” Chrysalis stopped right there, not even for a moment, but longer than that. It began to put you on edge, because she wasn’t speaking, she seemed… Nervous.
“Well? What is it?” You ask, in a demanding tone.
She didn’t retort back however, she was still seemingly nervous. Finally, she snaps out of it and grumbles. “It appears I have SOME capacity to care… I suppose. I’ve felt more healthy as time has gone by, which is why I haven’t really needed to feed too much.”
Bullshit. You simply raise an eyebrow at her. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Chrysalis.”
And that’s when Chrysalis lost her cool once again. “It’s the truth, you dolt! What? Do you think I really wanted to get rid of you for him?! He’s more of a pawn than you are! He was supposed to do my bidding, then eventually change back to his original form! The whole point was to finally force you to see my side of things when everypony eventually blamed you for the destruction of Twilight Sparkle! I was going to make you feel what I felt, then you’d understand. Ugh!” Chrysalis stomped her right hoof as she groaned loudly, looking up to the ceiling. “I can’t believe how much of my time I have invested into you! I don’t even understand it! I have truly lost my mind, you know that? Look at me, I could have any sap do what I want, and yet somehow, I care about you. There, are you happy? I said it! I care about you! Now get this line off me before I destroy you!”
No, this time, it wasn’t enough, especially with that threat. So what was this then? If she was still going to keep you around, then why this whole show with the clone? Did it really go rogue? Or was she just making an excuse because her plan went south after Dark Anon betrayed her? No, there was one thing you needed to know about. “No, I want you to answer me one question, Chrysalis. Because thinking about it, it still confuses me.”
“Whatever it is, it confuses you because you’re a moron.” Chrysalis said, clearly annoyed with your response. “Unless you haven’t noticed, your clone is going to destroy Twilight unless we stop him. As much as I hate to say it, his victory would ruin everything I was hoping to achieve, including the satisfaction in watching Princess Celestia delve into a worse madness that we witnessed back in that other dimension. He quite literally wants Equestria thrown into absolute chaos. Do you not understand, or are you just stupid?”
“Keep insulting me, Chrysalis, because that’ll really help your situation.” You say, eyeing her closely, even angrily, as you were losing your patience. “I need this question answered, and I need it answered now!”
“Your sense of urgency is skewed. What question could possibly be more important than the matter at hand?” Chrysalis asked, as she actually began to think you were going mad.
“Yesterday, with me and Diamond. What was all that about? That’s the only thing I don’t understand. I think, I really am thinking right at this moment that you’re as evil as everypony has been telling me this whole time. And yet, yesterday… It makes no sense. Why? Why did you care to see Diamond? Why all the pleasantries towards me and her?” You asked. You needed to know the answer, it just made no damn sense whatsoever.
Chrysalis tensed, like, she tensed hard at that question. “...You don’t need to know that.”
“We’re not leaving until you tell me. And don’t get any bright ideas, or I’ll zap you, and make sure to come back later with a brigade of guards and, you know what? I’ll even show up with Princess Celestia, how do you like that?” Oh yeah, you were going to threaten her with that, she could fuck off with her shit.
“Anon, don’t be a fo-” But you, in anger, cut her off as you hold up your leg, ready to zap her.
“TELL ME! TELL ME OR ELSE!” You threatened.
Chrysalis, she actually looked fretful, her ears even drooped. She suddenly seemed, worried, scared, hurt. Then she finally sighed, and shook her head. “I should have let myself be eliminated…” Chrysalis then looked to you, and pointed towards you. “I swear, if you tell anypony about this, I’ll turn you into a crater. Are we clear?”
“Chrysalis, where you’re at, you can’t make any threats towSADEAFDF” Suddenly, she pulled at the line with her magic as quickly as she could, then pressed her front hoof on your chest, keeping your legs apart and preventing you from pressing the button. “Gyah!”
Chrysalis shook her head, annoyed “This is why you need to pay more attention. Do you know how aggravating you are? You need to be silent, and listen to me now. Ugh, I can’t believe you haven’t even figured out how I survived! I’m a changeling, Anon! A changeling queen! I can transform into almost anything, and yet this somehow surprises you every time! Every-time! How is it so hard to come to the conclusion that I figured your dumbass clone was going to eliminate me, so I waited for him to do some moronic monologue as I simply transformed into a reversed position? He sliced off my tail, Anon! My tail! How could you not figure that out?! The only surprising thing was he didn’t make some stupid disgusting pun out of it! Something stupid like 'Looks like she really did give me some head!'”
You squeak, gulp, then look to your side to where her head should of been. It had since seemingly transformed back into her tail.
Oh… Why did you feel like an idiot all of a sudden?
“...As for yesterday? You really want to know? You want to know so badly as to put Equestria at risk?! Fine, I’ll tell you, I’ll even show you!” Chrysalis growled at you as her anger grew. “I simply wanted to, Anon. I wanted to give your way a proper chance, and just have a pleasant day. I just wanted to indulge in these… Feelings… That I suddenly have in my black little heart! I was scared, I suddenly became scared! I’m not afraid of anything, and yet!...” Suddenly, her wings began to glow, and then grow. They were changing, changing into something wondrous. Her wings were becoming like that of a seraphim angel, except with wings shaped almost like a dragonfly. They glistened and shimmered, even in the darkness the roots inside the house created. “These THINGS sprouted just days before! These horrible, contemptible, disgusting things! I ended the visit like I did because I was feeling something more than I ever felt before! I had to enact my plan, I had no choice! I refuse to become a weakling like them! To betray myself! I had to hide them, Nopony could know.”
Your eyes went wide. The wings! THE WINGS! It was just like Thorax! She was reforming! HAHA, YOU FUCKING KNEW IT! YOU KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING! Well, you only kinda did really, but here it was! Holy hell! YES! “I fucking knew it! You do care, Chrysalis! That’s what the wings means! Your lack of hunger proves it! You don’t want to be evil anymore! You care about Diamond and me enough to want to have a fun and nice time rather than being an evil douche! You shouldn’t be afraid of it! In fact, you should emSDFSDFSD” And then all of a sudden, Chrysalis grabbed you by the throat with her magic and held you up at eye level.
“Don’t… You… Dare.” Chrysalis said as she brought her nose to yours, staring at you hard, her voice low and grindy. She then reverted, or rather camouflaged, her wings back to their original form. “I have had a miserable time since this happened, I don’t need you patronizing me.” She then gently put you down as she pressed the retract button on your line, sending the hook back to your leg as she twirled her head with ease as to not let the line choke her. “This doesn’t mean anything. It just means that MAYBE I’d like to have more of those kinds of visits, and perhaps have your marefriend ride around with me in my car. And PERHAPS hear what she thinks about it, perhaps let her have a turn. Things like that.”
You rubbed at your neck, damn, she could really hurt you if she wanted. But, to see her wings like that, to know that actual progress was made, it filled your soul with hope and happiness. “Chrysalis, I’m just going to say that I’m happy to be your friend. I mean, things are going to get kinda fucked up if we don’t stop my evil clone, but hey, that’s gonna be no problem. We’ll kick his ass, get this place cleaned up, and watch a movie together. We’ll even invite Twilight! Eh? Ehhhh?” You say as you nudge her.
“Why would I ever want to invite her into my home?” Chrysalis asked.
“Well, she did watch Goodfellas the whole way through, and I know you love Goodfellas. And yeah, even if Twilight’s thoughts are predictable, wouldn’t you want to discuss with her the finer points of the documentary? Hmmmmm?” You say, nudging her again.
Chrysalis looked at you suspiciously “She seriously sat through all of it?”
You nodded “Mhmm, so did Starlight, and Rarity.”
“I don’t really know those other two, I’m surprised you could get any of them to watch Goodfellas at all. I’ll think about i…” Then suddenly Chrysalis smacked herself in the face. “No!” She barks back at you. “I am not doing that! I don’t care if they have the same opinions I hold! I am not going to invite those fools into my home. EVER!”
You just smirk at her, and wink. “We’ll see about that.”
Chrysalis groaned as she walked over to the front door and kicked it open, looking into the sky. “Whatever… So, how exactly do you plan to make up for all the lost time we made chatting it up?”
“Easy, I’ll just use my h- Oh…” You tapped at your neck, still realizing the roots were twisted around the necklace and horn, preventing you from using them. “Er…”
“Typical, you got so into me that you forgot you couldn’t use your horn to return home. You never change.” Chrysalis walked over to you, and used her magic to force your cardboard wings out of your saddlebag. She then slams them onto your back, sending you onto your belly. “Let’s go, Anon. We might still be able to catch him if we fly.” She said as she transformed into a random pegasus pony.
“Y-yeah, let’s go.” You said, spreading your wings, as you both took flight. But, those wings, her confession. It was real, Chrysalis was actually reforming, and there was proof. You had to do this, stop your clone, and save the day. To show everyone, including Neighsay, that she’s changed, that she can be good. You weren’t going to let Chrysalis, Twilight, Fluttershy, Starlight, Diamond, Celestia, Luna, or even Neighsay down. Well, maybe Neighsay will be down because he was wrong, but whatever!
“...So what exactly is the plan? I can’t call Discord, and I can’t use my horn. And if he has my reflexes, then he might be able to deflect my Starlight Hook.” You said, flying high above the forest, looking down while trying to spot your evil clone.
“Well, if somepony had given me a gun like I asked, I could simply shoot him and be done with it.” Chrysalis said, still agitated from the going ons back at her home.
“If I had given you a gun when you asked, you would have shot Twilight.” You said, looking at her with a cocked eyebrow.
Chrysalis merely responded with a grumble. She knew you were right, and didn’t feel like giving a snappy comeback. “Fine… Well, since he thinks he destroyed me, I’ll hide in that bag of yours while you distract him. I only need one good shot to take him out.”
Could she do that? “You’re that strong?” You then smirk at her, knowing exactly why she was that strong. “I guess those wings you have now really do mean-OW!” Chrysalis flew just close enough to bop you on your cheek with her hoof. “Really? Really?! C’mon, I know those wings mean something!”
“They do, but what do I have to say to get you to stop mentioning them? They’re there, they exist, so why do you keep torturing me by reminding me that they are there? Anon, here’s a tip on being on good terms with a lady. You never EVER ask about their ‘weight’. Physical, emotional, or detestable, it doesn’t matter. Don’t do it. You already have your answer as to why I’ve regained my strength, so let’s just leave it at that.” Chrysalis said to you, obviously wanting to avoid the topic of her 'reformation'.
“Alright, alright, whatever. Ok, let me get my head in the game here then. The evil version of me is obviously dangerous and knows all my moves. It’s my hooks versus his weird tree thing… Why does he have tree powers again?” You asked, still confused about that.
“Because I made him with a tree, Anon. I told you this. Along with some of your hair, a photo of you, and the porcelain I found in the forest with your chaotic power. I can only guess his ability to use that odd horn of his came from the porcelain, as the spell mentioned the clone wouldn’t have all the abilities of their original without some sort of extra element. Then again, the spell said simply creating one clone would have it be obedient to it’s creator, and that clearly wasn’t true. Makes me think the one who originally came up with it was just an idiot.” Chrysalis said, keeping a vigilant eye out for your clone in case he was somehow still in the forest.
“The porcelain gave him that power? Huh… The porcelain.” Why did that start to really bother you all of a sudden? Was it due to Tempest? No. Storm King? No, he’s gone. Hm…
Wait…
“Oh… Oh no.” You said, suddenly coming to a grave realization. “The porcelain…”
“Yes, the porcelain. What about it? Why do you suddenly seem so spooked? I can even feel it, I don’t like it.” Chrysalis said, disturbed by your reaction.
“...So, the porcelain, THAT porcelain. I sorta made that porcelain when Discord was filling me with some sort of madness chaos thing. He wanted me to use my magic the way he thought it should be used, and wanted me to be a better fighter with it. So, yeah, most likely? Dark Anon probably has that ‘perfect’ madness inside him. Kinda explains his crazy plan and him not giving a shit about anything to the point of letting wendigos wreck Equestria.” You explained. Good god, dammit! Dammit, Discord! This was his fault!
“So once again, this is your fault.” Chrysalis said with a sigh. “Why do I always have to clean up after you?”
Wut? “What do you mean my fault?! How is it-... Ahh dammit…” You didn’t even bother to pick the shards up. Though, to be fair, you didn’t know they could be used in such a way. “Ok, ok, I can see where you’re coming from. But still, you shouldn’t have used them to make an evil clone of me! Even if it didn’t have that weird chaotic enchantment, there’s no telling how that clone would have come out. He could have betrayed you anyway.”
“Like I said, he would have been under my control.” Chrysalis said nothing further than that, she actually became quiet for a moment before saying. “...And perhaps I was being too hasty. I didn't think about the repercussions of using a chaotic element.”
Did she admit some fault? Did that just suddenly happen? “So, you just want to say it was both our faults then?” You realized you couldn’t let this moment slip. It could be a good bonding moment, and a moment to help her realize her rage and self absorbed attitude isn’t good for her.
“No, I just said I was hasty. You still left your magical droppings for anypony to snatch. I’d berate you, but we can’t waste time arguing something so pointless. What’s done is done, and it only serves to make your miserable clone’s destruction all the sweeter with how much I hate him.” Chrysalis said, dead set in wanting to see your clone destroyed. “Hmm, how would he put it?” Chrysalis let out a dark chuckle. “Ah yes, letting out all of my frustrations out on his little body.”
Ooh, kinky. Though, it seems she was once again too focused on revenge, so focused she couldn’t even stay mad at you. “We could always take him out back and beat his wooden brains in, smack him around with a shovel, and bury him. How does that sound?”
“Ooh, trying to make my loins sizzle, are we? Well, Anon, if you want to play around like that, we could always dance around with the thought of blindfolding him… And throwing him to the sharks.” Chrysalis said with dark evil glee.
“Oh! Oh! He’s made from a tree right?” You ask, knowing the answer.
“Yes, why?” Chrysalis asked, rather curious given your sudden interest in being brutal.
“Check this out. We set him on fire, slow burn. We get Diamond, Scrappy, and anypony else we like, and make hot s’mores over his burning body. How does that sound? We could even put on a movie.” Hm, thinking about it as you said it, that wouldn’t be a bad thing to do at all. Well, except the screaming 'you' ruining everything.
Chrysalis started to laugh, quite joyfully, at that suggestion. “I like it! No, love it! A fitting end to… Wait.” Chrysalis then truly realized what that would have meant for her. “No. As much as I’d love to see him burn for his betrayal, having THAT kind of party is disgusting.”
“Awww, c’mon! We could get, like, Twilight and everypony and watch a good gory movie… Full of gore… Lots of gore!” You flew close to her as you nudged into her. “C’moooooon, it’d be fun.”
Chrysalis went quiet, she noticed she and you were already out of the forest and entering Ponyville. Not wanting to think about it further, she quickly changed the subject. “Ready yourself, Anon. We’re nearing the castle.”
“I don’t hear a no” You said, in a sing song way.
Chrysalis took a very deep breath, and held it as she looked at you, agitated.
“Ok ok… Serious time, got it. I just… I dunno, wanted to make a connection with you that connected to everypony else. Y’know?” Mnnnn, despite her wings having changed, she didn’t seem that different at all.
“Now is not the time for it. We’re using changeling tactics, Anon. We can’t just confront him head on, we have to make a sneak attack before he can get into the castle…” Chrysalis looked towards you again, with a stoic expression. “And besides, I wouldn’t want little Diamond…” Suddenly, Chrysalis’s eyes went wide, as if something came to her.
“C-chrysalis? You ok?” You asked, wondering why she stopped right there, worried due to her coming to a pause upon Diamond’s name.
“...He’s not going to the castle… Not yet.” Chrysalis actually looked… Worried, what did she…
Oh god…
“Oh, you don’t think…” No, he wouldn’t… Oh god, he would.
“With a lust like yours? A manor full of maids, your marefriend, and her mother? Of course he’d make a move on them before he makes a move on Twilight. He’s a disgusting, perverse, and rat minded little fink. He’s going to go for them before he reveals himself. Quick, we don’t have any more time to waste!” Chrysalis said, shrinking down into a miniature version of herself as she slinked into your saddle bag. Thanks to the bag’s innards being bigger than it appeared, she fit rather snugly yet easily inside.
“What? What are y-” But she then immediately barked at you.
“Surprise attack! Remember!? Now get moving!” Chrysalis shouted at you.
“Right! Right!” You quickly and frantically flew towards Rich manor. That fucking bastard, you should have known. Dammit, he was going to try to fuck all those mares. M-maybe even tentacle stuff with that wooden horn of his. D-dammit, that perverted little fuck! Forcing himself on all those maids and…
“Anon…” Chrysalis said in a low and disgusted voice. “Whatever you’re thinking about, stop. I can feel your revolting lust from in here.”
“Y-yeah… Uh, sorry.” Focus, Anon. He was going to hurt Diamond, that was something you couldn’t allow. Fuck, if he even lays a single hoof on her, you’ll turn him into a dowsing rod! You flew as hard and as fast as you could. But, as you neared the manor’s front gates, your wings started to flap frantically as you began to lower to the ground. The wings’ timer had run out. “D-dammit! I think I saw him in the front lawn! He’s there!”
“I knew it! Alright then, you need to fly into position and I can g-Wait, why does it feel like we’re landing? Why are you landing?” Chrysalis asked.
“My wings! They ran out of power… Er, look. I still have my Starlight Hook, so even with his reflexes, I can still take him on one on one. He wasn’t wrong, I know how he thinks. He’s just me with no limits and tree powers. So all I have to do is fight extra dirty and things should be fine. That, and you should still be able to get that shot off, since he thinks you’re dead.”
“That’s exactly the problem! He’s you, but willing to do far worse. How do you ever plan to overpower him? Much less match his magic? That hook of yours isn’t very good when anypony with decent reflexes could dodge it.” Chrysalis retorted.
“I know it doesn’t look good, and the wings going out is really really bad timing. But I can take him, I swear! Unless you have any other suggestions on how to take him down?” Did she? There really wasn’t anyway to sneak up on him from the ground, he’d see you coming.
“I don’t… But if you’re really up to the task, then you need to be careful. Just remember that his magic has to come from the ground, so remember that everything he does will literally sprout out at you. Understood?” Chrysalis said, actually seeming to care about your well being in this fight.
“I got it.” You said, walking over to the gate to take a peek past it. “What about you?”
“Just put me down when you get close. I’ll wait for him to be completely focused on you, then I’ll take him out using my magic. Remember, Anon, do not make my presence known, we only get one shot at this.” Chrysalis reminded you.
“Got it. And I can see him too, he’s on the lawn with Mr. Rich and… Is that Fancy Pants? I think he’s talking with them?” You say, squinting your eyes to be sure of what you were seeing as you gently opened the gate and made your way past.
“That isn’t strange, he doesn’t want to give himself away outside where others might see or hear him. Just slowly approach him, and prepare to strike.” Chrysalis instructed.
“Got it… Moving in now.” You say, inching ever closer to the group.
“...Look! I get it, you’re doing something important. But if you’re going out with him, then at least let me into the place, ok?! Look at my ear, look at it! I only have one!” Dark Anon said, as he pointed towards one ear, his apparently only remaining ear.
“I say, that does look rather serious.” Fancy Pants said, peering closer as he adjusted his monocle. “Whatever happened?”
“Timberwolves, man, Timberwolves. You have wood powers and, well, you expect to be able to control wooden dogs. But no! They just get angry, become a super big wood dog, and rip your ear clean off! So, again, I am asking nicely to please unlock the door.” Dark Anon said, clearly aggravated as he pointed towards the front doors down the front lawn.
“Now, son, as I said, we’re going to meet the missus and my little Diamond is havin’ one of her sword fighting classes with Mr. Scimitar. I can understand you’re upset, missin’ an ear and all, but…” Mr. Rich leaned in close to him and whispered “Are ya doin’ a bit, son? Ain’t like you to clown around like this. If you plan to regrow that ear to impress Mr. Fancy Pants here, well, I’m all for it. Just try not to be so rude, ya hear? No need for it.”
Dark Anon just looked at him with a ‘wut?’ face before backing off in anger. It was clear he just wanted to get in the door, he didn’t care what Filthy was up to. “Bit? You think I’m doing a bit?! You know what? Screw it! I’m not going to waste my time with either of you! And if I have to ki-”
“Found you, faker!” You said as you jumped forward, pointing towards your evil self.
“My word! Another Anon, out of the blue?” Fancy Pants said, rather impressed as he adjusted his monocle. He then let out a little refined laugh as he looked towards Mr. Rich. “Is this some sort of show, Mr. Rich? I do say, I was hoping to see the hero colt in some sort of action today. I would assume this is all being done with his chaos magic?”
“Er, yes! I-I think.” Mr. Rich said, utterly confused by what was going on.
Dark Anon twitched, then looked back at you. He seemed surprised at first. Even aggravated. No doubt he wasn’t actually expecting any deus ex machina to occur. But then he smirked, and looked as if he was hit with some sort of nostalgia as he responded with. “Faker? I think you’re the fake pony around here. You’re comparing yourself to me? Ha! You’re not even good enough to be my fake!”
“...Are you doing this? Are you both doing this? Now?! Of all times?!” You could already hear Chrysalis angrily whispering at you from your saddle bag. “You were supposed to ambush him! Not engage in some corny back and forth!”
“Shh, I got this, I know how he works.” You whispered back before pointing at your dark self. “I’ll make you eat those words!”
“You won’t even get the chance!” Your evil self retorts back before looking back at Mr. Rich and pointing at you. “And that’s why I’m here! That’s why I wanted to, er, warn everypony! My evil self is on the attack!”
Fancy Pants glanced over at you, squinting his eyes. “He does look rather evil. Just look at that posture, and it doesn’t look like he’s groomed himself… Ever.”
Shit! “Ok, I didn’t think he was going to be a pussy and pull the ‘I’m the real one’ routine” You said, gulping.
“Oh, yes, considering there are two of you, there was no way in Tartarus that he’d pull something like this. Excuse me for doubting you.” Chrysalis whispered back in a snide way.
Dammit, Chrysalis may be mocking you, but she was right. You should have expected that your shitty clone would be capable of shitty things. If he can fool Mr. Rich, then he might try to use him to block your path while he opens the door to his mansion. Normally, fighting off Mr. Rich would probably be easy with your tools, but you didn’t want to hurt him, much less fight him. You knew he'd probably enter the fray if he thought Diamond was in trouble. Then again, you were you, and you knew you could come up with a rock solid argument to prove you were the real-
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The fake you screamed as he flew through the air and slammed down face first into the ground in front of you, twitching in pain.
“Mr. Rich! I say! Was that not your future son-in-law? Why ever did you buck him like that?!” Fancy Pants said, utterly surprised by Mr. Rich’s sudden surprise attack.
“Ain’t no son of mine. The Anon I know is honest to a fault and a gentlecolt to be sure. ‘Not even good enough to be my fake’? Let me tell you something, sir, no son of mine ever talks all high and mighty like some shadowy villain character from the good ole days of comic books. Anon has the honor that matches us Riches ourselves. Also, ah really don’t remember Anon’s cutie mark lookin all wobbly-like” Mr. Rich responded, sure that he made the right choice.
You just looked at your dark self as he began to pull his head out of the dirt. Well, this was fine, this works too. Whatever...
This was going to be easier than you thought. You aim your Starlight Hook at your evil self’s torso and fire, wrapping it around him as he tried to pull his head free. Yeah, this was going to be easy now. Mr. Rich, damn, it almost made you cry that he was able to figure out which was the real you so easily.
“Ngh, NRGH!” Dark Anon grunted before finally pulling his head out of the ground, shaking it, then looking back at Mr. Rich with an angry growl. “Really?! REALLY?! You think you have me figur-'' But Dark Anon immediately jumped to attention the moment he noticed you were nearby. “Dammit! Almost let you get me. So this is it, huh? The ultimate battle of ultimate destiny? You do know I’m fully capable of killing you and everyone here, right? I’d run if I were you, I have some pussy to slay. Sonic Adventure or not, I meant what I said, you aren’t good enough to take me on.”
Geez, were you ever this cocky? “Yeaaaah, I get that. But, hey, here’s a thought. You’ve always wanted to cause a sorta Looney Tunes moment, right?”
Dark Anon looked at you as he cocked an eyebrow. “Wut? What kind? The double take thing or the drop a fucking anvil on your head thing? I mean, yeah, I’d do both really. Cept when they get smashed by the anvil, there’s gonna be a lot of mooshy parts.” Dark Anon said with an evil snicker.
“Cool, cool, I get ya. So…” You stop your speech, and then point to the line of your hook.
“Wha? What are y-” But then Dark Anon looks to see he was connected to the line. He then stared back at you, then at the line, then back at you with horror. “WAIT! DRWGFDGDFGFGDF” And in an instant, you flicked the switch to start shocking him with magical force.
“Well, that was easy.” You say as you keep the magic going. “Chrysalis, any time now.”
“Give me a second, Anon. I want to see him suffer…” Chrysalis said, peering from the bag ever so slightly to watch Dark Anon fidget and scream.
“Dammit! Chrysalis, you get on my case for hesitating and now you wanna be a sadist all of a sudden?! Just blast his WHOOP!” You suddenly fall backwards as Dark Anon somehow… Goes through the line? He melted right through it!
“Nghaaa, dmmnngghh.” Indeed, Dark Anon seemed to have almost seemed blobbish for a moment as the line passed through his body, the hook falling harmlessly on the ground. Dark Anon then quickly began to solidify, though it seemed to not have been purposely, as he even seemed confused by what just happened. “D-dammit, w-what the?! GRRRR!”
“Shit! Dammit!” You retract the line as quick as you can, but in an instant, a dark root sprouts from the ground from the middle of the line and severs it from the hook. “Oh… No…”
“You bastard!” Dark Anon growled as he slowly began to approach. “That hurt! That really fucking hurt!” He said as he stomped towards you, roots coming out of the ground and flailing around him with every step as his horn glowed a dark black and red. “I’m gonna gut you like a fucking fish! You’re nothing compared to me, you hear me? Did you really, REALLY, think you were going to stop me? I’m Dark Anon! And nothing is going to break my STRIIDWFDDSFE” And out of the blue, Mr. Rich suddenly rushes in from the side and starts stomping on him. “DFSDFD STOP! STAHP! GSDFSDFS GYAH!” And then bucked him again, sending him flying into the flower garden.
...Wut?
“Eh, think I got a bit of him on my hooves.” Mr. Rich said as he began to scrape his forehooves along the grass. “How’re you doin, son? I take it that downright disrespectful doppelganger ain’t some sort of show of magic?”
You just kinda stood there, blinking for a moment from shock until finally replying. “Y-yeah, no, he’s really here to wreck things up, Mr. Rich.”
“Well, ain’t that somethin’? Or it would be somethin’, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s gonna be getting a dose of Rich ‘hospitality’. You get what I’m saying, son?” Mr. Rich said as he patted his shirt and straightened his tie, then began to stretch as if he was getting ready for a fight. "I don't care where he came from, or what he is. He ain't welcome here."
Wut?!
“Mr. Rich! No! This guy really means business, ok? He’s my problem, you just get back and let me handle it, ok?” You couldn’t risk his life, you couldn’t risk anyone’s life. You almost lost Chrysalis to this monster, you can’t lose Mr. Rich.
“Well then, it’s a good thing I know all about business then. Anon, you listen here, it don’t matter who it is that threatens my family, they all are askin’ for a whoopin’. You’re family too, remember that. And Hero Colt or no, I ain’t lettin’ ya fight alone on my premises.” Mr. Rich said as he saw the evil you get up slowly, his body looking rather gooey for a moment before hardening. “Hey you, ain’t you done yet? Or do you like gettin’ stomped?”
Dark Anon looked pissed at first, but then he started to smile, then laugh. “Stomped? Me?! Yeah, whatever, be as cocky as you want, you only caught me off guard. And hey, guess what?” Suddenly, Dark Anon began to rise about five feet up on a platform of dark roots coming from the ground as about six other roots grew from either side and pointed their tips at Mr. Rich. “You get to die first! Who knows, you might be the second death anypony will ever witness next to Sombra. Aren’t you lucky?”
Mr. Rich just calmly looked at him, then back at you, confused. “I think your other self is off his rocker. Unless he thinks everypony is some sort of immortal alicorn.”
“Mr. Rich, I’m serious, you have to get out of here. Those things are aimed right at you, he isn’t playing. Please, please, just run!” Dammit, this wasn’t a game, and this wasn’t a villain willing to show mercy. Why wasn’t he listening?
“Anon…” Mr. Rich got serious, and looked down at you with fatherly eyes, the eyes of a pony who’d protect his family with his own life. “You don’t fret now, y’hear? We done this once before. Gonna be tougher, as it don’t look like you can use your magic.” Mr. Rich said, taking note of the weird roots along your neck and ear. “But true heroes don’t need it, they only need their wits.” He then takes out a bag of bits from under his shirt and bounces it on his hoof. “How many bits ya think are in here, son?”
WUT?! “Why does that matter?! Mr. Rich, please, please. This guy, I mean it, you don’t have to throw your life away!”
“Two hundred and twelve bits.” Mr. Rich answers, despite your pleas. What was he even getting at? “Did I ever tell you about the time I won five hundred teddy ursas? Five hundred bottles, five hundred bits, never missed a toss gettin’ them in. Donated all them cute little teddies too. Now, I don’t think I need that many bits right now, but…” Mr. Rich keeps his eye on the tips of the root, and shuffles to the right, noting that they were moving along with him. “I’m gonna guess that other you is some sort of straight shooter. Right?”
“The hell is this guy doing?” Dark Anon said as he stared down at the both of you. “Hey, I’m about to shoot these things at you. The least you can do is beg for your life! Christ, even as the ultimate evil no one takes me seriously. Nah, fuck this, I’m gonna make it brutal. Gonna aim straight for the head.” Dark Anon snickered as he adjusted the aim ever so slightly.
“Mr. Rich, if anything, he’s going to go for a headshot. You need to get out of here, hide behind something. Please!” You begged. Dammit, if only you had your magic, you could forcefully get him to safety.
“Is that right? Hm, and he is pretty high up on his little perch there. Ok, got it. Anon, you just follow behind me and jump off my head when I jump, alright? You need to get up there and I’m gonna get you there. Got it?” Mr. Rich said as he looked back at you.
“Here I go!” Mr. Rich said as he raised his forelegs. He then started to make a mad dash towards Dark Anon. “Let’s see what ya got!”
Dammit! Dammit! You throw everything you had off of you, even the Starlight Hook, to shred your extra weight and follow behind Mr. Rich the best you could. Dammit, you didn’t know what to do! You had to figure out a way to save him! Chrysalis, please, she had to take the shot! Could she even do that from this position?
“Man, you gotta be kidding me. Since when did the side characters think they could take ANYTHING on? Fine, fuck it, sick of this shit already. He wants to die so bad? Sure, let’s do it. I got a princess to murder anyway and... Man, really gotta stop talking to myself. You'd think I wouldn't do that, given I'm better than Anon, and yet... Yeah.” Dark Anon said, confused with himself. He then focused as his horn began to glow and… Dammit, the roots fired their spikes, all aimed at Mr. Rich!
“MR. RICH! NO!” You ran as fast as you could. Maybe, maybe if they hit your head instead you could-
But there was no time, the spikes flew fast and Mr. Rich… What?! No way! He jumped as he pulled the bag out of his shirt with his mouth, flinging it directly in the trajectory of the spikes. You could see the first of the spikes strike the bag, sending bits flying everywhere as at least five of them deflected the spikes every which way. How did he? How? “Anon! Hurry up now and get that ornery fake!” Mr. Rich ducked, and prepared to make another jump, slowing down to allow you to jump onto his back.
You shook your head to regain your composure as tears ran down your eyes. There was no fucking way, but goddammit, of course when it came to bits, he knew them inside and out. And he knew how to toss the bag in such a way as to deflect the spikes. Mr. Rich, no wonder his family has been wealthy for so many fucking years.
“Are you… What?! That is some straight up BULLSHIT! Is that a thing? I aimed for the goddamn head! I don’t care if this is rated for fucking preschoolers, there was no way to survive that shot! That’s it! The deus ex machina ends here, right noWEFSDOOOW!” Dark Anon is sent sliding back upon his rooted platform as you jump onto it, hoof first, for a punch to the face.
“Gotcha!” You said triumphantly as you stood above your evil self.
“Ngh!” Dark Anon groaned as he slowly stood up, looking at you with an intense glare. “You little shit. I bet you feel real good about now, huh?”
“I am, so far I’m seeing that Equestria itself isn’t going to let evil win. I mean, you’re me without limits, and you’re doing worse than fucking Nightmare Moon.” You said with a cool grin. “No, fuck that, you don’t even give the Amoeba Boys a run for their money.”
“Cute reference.” Your dark self says as he began to circle around you, slowly, never breaking his gaze. “But I’m gonna kill you, I’m gonna kill him, and I’m gonna kill that other guy. No wait, no, I want you alive so you can watch me take Diamond for myself. How does that sound?”
“How about a threesome instead?” You say back to him, with a coy eyebrow raise.
“Wut?... Are you, er… Are you AGH!” Dark Anon falls back as you sneak attack him with a jump, landing on his stomach as you begin to pound his face in.
“You motherfucker! I’m gonna end you right here, right now! You never EVER threaten my family. Do you fuc-OOF!” But Dark Anon throws you off, and then tries to stab you with his horn. “Fuck!” He almost pierces you right on your side, but you roll to the other side as Dark Anon stabs right through the root, causing the platform to writhe and throw both of you off. It then sinks into the ground.
“Gyah! Dammit!” Dark Anon groaned as he fell on his back. “This… This is getting stupid.”
“Crap!” You fall on your stomach hard, and even as quick as you were able to get up, you weren’t able to escape the roots that suddenly wrapped around your torso. “OH SHIT!”
“That’s right. Ngh…” Dark Anon said, panting, as his body began to transition back and forth between solid and liquid. He then took a deep breath, as he became fully solid again. “You think you can win by slapping me around a little? Fuck it, you really wanna die that badly? Bah, whatever, I don’t need the glory when I got the pussy. I’m going to squeeze you like an AFWSDFDF” Suddenly, out of nowhere, Mr. Rich once again blindsides Dark Anon with a buck, sending him tumbling forward.
Mr. Rich then rushes towards you and tries to pull off the roots. “I gotta get you outta this, son. Don’t you worry, ain’t no way a weed is gonna beat a GNNMM?!” Suddenly, Mr. Rich found himself caught by the roots himself, then slammed into the ground hard, knocking him out as the roots raised him back up.
Dark Anon just stomped on over, pissed off as all hell. “Will you stop doing that?! Holy crap! Do you think that’s funny?! I fucking killed the Queen of the goddamn Changelings! First goddamn try! I will NOT let myself be made a fool of by some yokel!”
“Oh god, just stop already. You’re starting to sound like some edgelord written by Chris-chan. I’m not even kidding. Who says yokel? Even I don’t say yokel. Are you retarded?” Seriously, you couldn’t take it anymore, your dark self was edgy trash.
“N-No! You’re the retarded one! Thinki- You know what?!” A root comes from behind you, aiming right towards your ass. “You get to die first, nice and slow, one end out the other, how does that sound?”
One end out the… You look back to see the root very slowly approaching you and, oh god, it was spinning. NO NO NO NO! THIS IS NOT HOW YOU WANTED TO DIE! EVEN IF IT WAS A FUTA! THIS WASN'T HOW YOU WANTED TO DIE!
Meanwhile, coming from the front doors was Diamond Tiara, sipping a cool drink. She had a ponytail with a sweatband on her forehead, a towel around her body, and she seemed a little sweaty from her training as she sighed to relax. Her training sword was attached to a sheath on her back. “Woo, now that was a workout. I wonder how Daddy and Mr. Fancy Pants are doing.”
“Oh, I’m doing quite alright, thank you for asking. But it seems your father and the hero colt are in some trouble.” Fancy Pants answered, as he had apparently moved to watch the fight from the porch.
“W-what? What the…” Diamond Tiara looked ahead to see what was going on. She could see you and Mr. Rich captured, as Dark Anon laughed at your imminent rapey death. “What’s going on?!”
“Ah, well, it seems your father and Mr. Anon decided to put on quite the show, out of nowhere may I add. I believe that other Anon is a doppelganger conjured through some sort of spell. I do say, everything feels real, quite real actually. Mr. Anon’s screams are very bone chilling, wouldn’t you agree?” Fancy Pants asked, clearly unaware of what was really going on.
“A show…?” Diamond Tiara peered closer, confused. But your screams of terror, it made her tense, then angry. She could tell, those were real screams. She began to feel anger, a deep anger. A fake Anon taking down her real prince and her father? Some fake that was going to probably try to take her as his prize? Oh no, that wasn’t going to stand. “A show, huh? I’ll give him a show…” Diamond Tiara said as she slowly unsheathed her sword.
Dark Anon was laughing maliciously. “Oh, come on! Oh man, you're hilarious! What’s wrong? You had to lose your virginity somehow… Erm, not that you are… Because that would mean I- Whatever, just prepare your anus, literally! Hahahahaha! Oh yeah, I cannot wait for you to feel how terrible it is once that spike goes right up your AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” And out of nowhere, Diamond Tiara charged right into his rear with her sword, sending it through his ass as he jumps forward and lands on his face,
“Take that!” Diamond Tiara said with a cheer before looking towards you. “Anon! Anon! Are you ok? I came to help and… Daddy! Daddy! Ngh, i-is he?”
“N-no, he’s just knocked out. Diamond, Diamond, you can’t stay here, ok? Don’t eeFWDSD” Suddenly the roots squeezed you hard, taking your breath away.
“Oh… That… That wasn’t funny.” Dark Anon said as he slowly began to approach Diamond, his body melting once again, his tail actually falling off and curling as it became a branch. “Do you have any idea how much that hurt?” Dark Anon growled as the sword sunk and fell off his body, allowing his body to slowly solidify. “I didn’t even know you liked it rough. Noted… I’m going to enjoy playing with you.”
“Hmph, I’d never play with such an ugly copy of my Anon. Do you even realize how much training I’ve gone through to fight on my own? There’s no way you can even touch me.” Diamond said, priming herself to fight to save you and her father. "You're going down!"
Dark Anon let out a mocking laugh. “Seriously?! Is your entire family stupid or something? I’m about to end your father, your coltfriend, and guess what, I even took out Chrysalis. You know her, don’t you?”
Diamond’s eyes went wide, she couldn’t believe what she just heard. “C-Chrysalis?”
“That’s right… shot her head clean off. Scared, huh? Tell you what, if you lay down and let me take you, I promise to be someEFDWSFDFSD” Even Dark Anon couldn’t be prepared for what came next as Diamond jumped on him in a rage, and started to pound his face in with her forehooves.
Never had Diamond felt this much rage before. She lost her friend. She lost her sister. Someone she cared about, taken away, forever. Even worse, by some fake that looked like you. Something just snapped in her, and she wasn’t going to let Dark Anon get away with it. Even her screaming was incoherent, she just kept bashing away.
“DFSDFSDFGDFGDFG” Dark Anon could barely react as bits of his face was flying off with every hit. He could actually feel himself losing pieces of his own self. He couldn’t let it happen, he had his ambitions, his ambitions to destroy Equestria and have a sex manor. In desperation, he leaned back and slammed his forehead onto Diamond’s. This had a devastating effect, as even as a clone, his head held a cosmic power of being really fucking dense. It knocked Diamond out instantly. “GRAGGGH!” He threw her off of himself. He stood up, trying to recover. His mane was missing chunks, his right eye was drooping some, and even solidifying himself wasn’t fixing it. “Oh, oh no no no. Oh, ooohhhh. Yes, you’re going to regret everything.” Dark Anon said as he began to use his roots to raise Diamond up, flipping her around so he could…
As you recovered your breath, you could see what he was about to do. You began to fight the best you could, screaming, even begging for him to stop. “STOP! NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”
“Oh yeah? Just watch me, Anon. Watch me take what you never could. She thought her first fuck would be with you, but it was me, Dark Anon! That’s right, I'm gonna fuck her raw. And when she wakes up, do you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna force her face right on my cock. Oh yeah, baby, I’m gonna get some good head toRWDSAFSADFGDSDF” And once again, another sudden attack occurs as the roots holding Diamond fling her upwards.
A gigantic green beam comes from the saddlebag you left behind, a beam full of sudden rage and power, so powerful that it was able to cleave Dark Anon’s head clear off his body. Though, despite doing that, he was still able to scream as his body desperately tried to grab onto his head. Furthermore, a dark green aura catches Diamond from the air, and gently places her on the ground.
“No! Fuck this! Fuck all this! Where did that… No, I can’t die here! Not yet!” Dark Anon’s body dives onto the head and encircles himself in the ball of roots as he bursts through the front gates and beelines towards the castle.
The roots holding you and Mr. Rich release and drop you both to the ground. Was that blast Chrysalis? Was that the opening? Christ, you didn’t know she had recovered that much of her strength. Mr. Rich, and Diamond… They were down, breathing, but knocked out. Dammit, you idiot, you almost got them killed. And yet… Without them, you’d have been the dead one. Dark Anon, he had to be heading for the castle. You had to stop him, you couldn’t let him get close to Twilight. You rush towards your saddle bag, sling it on, and rush towards the castle. “Chrysalis, we don’t have time to chat but… Thank you. You-”
“Anon! You just said you didn’t have time to chat! So shut up already! The fool is escaping, and he hasn’t realized it was me who hit him. Just get me to him and I’ll take him out once and for all.” Chrysalis said. She didn’t seem to want to hear any praise. She had a goal in mind, and she wouldn’t let you falter towards it.
You had to finish it, you had to finish it before anyone got hurt.
You were running, you were running as fast as you could. You couldn’t stop to think about what just happened, if Fancy Pants realized how serious things were, or if Mr. Rich and Diamond were going to wake up and try to go after you, none of it mattered. All you could think about was getting to the castle as quick as you could.
The town, everything seemed to be going as normal, though you could tell there were more animals scurrying around than usual, probably the lookouts who agreed to help Fluttershy. But as you got closer and closer to the castle, there was one thing that was irking you. “Where are the guards? There’s not a single one patrolling the town.”
“Does it matter? They're useless anyway, not once have they ever managed to stop a major threat. I doubt even a deranged version of you would have trouble taking them out.” Chrysalis said, still hiding in the bag.
“Yeah, but, if that mass of roots was rolling through town, they could have at least stopped that.” You said.
“No, I highly doubt they’d even have considered it a threat. That’s how incompetent they are. Even that loser, Shining Armor, is utterly useless without the help of the actual protectors of Equestria.” Chrysalis said, with an audible choke “I can’t believe I referenced them as that.”
“Yeah… Hey, I noticed that you caught Diamond after you blasted my clone. T-” But Chrysalis growls at you before you could finish your words.
“Idiot! Save your breath for running! That thing is going to take advantage of your form to get close to Twilight Sparkle and then instantly annihilate her. Focus, Anon, we have to get there before he gets close to her.” Chrysalis said with an angry snarl.
She was right, you have to get there as fast as you could to either try to stop him or warn Twilight and the others. Then again, there were the traps, and Starlight too. Well, maybe not Starlight, she’d probably be just as easily tricked. But the traps, that has to be able to stop him.
However, when you finally reached the castle doors, you noticed roots had pierced through them, shoving them aside. They must have been locked for once. “S-shit!” You rushed inside to the entrance hall. “Oh… oh no…”
The entrance hall was in utter chaos. You could see it all, the traps, from cages to giant fly swatters, to even a dropped piano, all of it had been destroyed and pierced by roots. The walls and ground had root spikes piercing through every which way. And… oh no! No! No!
“Starlight!” You rushed over to your fallen friend, who was beside a large roller ball trap. She was down, on her side, barely moving, her lower body held by roots. That fucking asshole, he must have charged straight through and just… Starlight didn’t even stand a chance. “Starlight, come on, please tell me you’re ok!”
Starlight let out a pained moan, twitching where she laid. “T-Twilight… n-ngh.” And she then she fell unconscious. You couldn’t tell if she sustained any external injuries, but it was clear she got knocked the fuck out, she didn’t even notice you in front of her. Then again, as you looked back, you didn’t notice Sunburst had been rooted to the wall either… He… looked ok, right? was he ok?,you approached him to make sure he was breathing. You can’t let yourself dawdle no matter how much you were worried, Dark Anon was already in the castle. But then you heard one more familiar voice calling out weakly for someone…
“My… Queen…” Near the doors to the cutie map room laid Scrappy. He wasn’t wrapped in roots like the others, but he wasn’t in his dog form either. One of his wings were torn, and he was twitching. It was like he was slapped aside in one blow by a giant fist.
“S-scrappy?” You approached him slowly. He looked more hurt than Starlight and Sunburst. One of his legs, upon further inspection, had been twisted out of place. It’s like your evil clone took some time to fuck him up before moving on.
“...Anon, focus.” Chrysalis said, calling out to you from your saddle bag.
“But…” But she speaks again over you.
“I know… And we will make him pay. We will make him pay dearly for this. But he’s alive, so keep moving.” Chrysalis’s tone. She wasn’t angry, nor did she sound upset. She sounded vicious, calculating, yet calm. You weren’t a changeling, but you could feel her need for vengeance.
You nod to yourself, and move on to the doors to the cutie map room, looking back one last time at the destruction of the entrance hall. The doors to the Cutie map room… Were oddly intact. In fact, after where Starlight had fallen, the presence of the roots had greatly decreased for some reason. Why? What happened?
But, as you slowly open the doors, that's when you hear it, a reverberating dark voice was shouting at someone. Hell, the cutie map room, it was full of guards. Full to the brim with them, all in armor, and all facing the cutie map itself. They were too focused on it to even notice you walk in.
“You better t-t-t-t-take me seriously! Or else! The c-c-c-c-choice is yours, S-s-hining Armor!” No way. Dark Anon, he barely looked like himself anymore. His head was almost a skull looking face, with no eyes. His body was melting and falling apart, only being held together by roots he grew onto himself. He barely even sounded like you anymore. above him was Spike, who was being held on his arms, legs, and neck. By roots growing from under the roots of Twilight’s old tree.
“Don’t listen to him, Shining! Whatever that thing is, just kick its-GYAAAAAH!” But suddenly, there was a loud snapping noise as Spike’s arm was pulled back, snapping the bones and causing him to cry out in pain.
“I’m f-f-f-fucking serious! That’s just the arm! G-g-give me what I want, or it’ll be his n-n-neck next!” Dark Anon threatened. Fuck, he was clearly out of his mind and desperate at this point. And then there was Shining Armor. Why was he here? When did he arrive? And was this why there weren’t any guards patrolling the town? He brought them all here, to lay one final trap, and it seems it didn’t work the whole way through.
Shining, who was doing his best to stay calm, went livid the moment Spike was shouting in pain. There was fury in his eyes, his voice, his movements. “You! Chrysalis, you’ve gone too far this time! If you don’t let go of Spike, right now, I’m going to-” But Dark Anon cuts him off with a cough filled scoff.
“Ha! C-C-Chrysalis? You wish. S-sorry to s-s-s-say, shit for brains, but I ain’t h-h-her. I did you a solid though, I sliced off her h-h-head.” Dark Anon said with a chuckle before screaming out in anger. “AND I’LL DO THE SAME TO HIM UNLESS YOU BRING TWILIGHT OUT RIGHT NOW!”
Shining was hesitating still, it almost seemed like he wanted to blast him to bits. Hell, Dark Anon clearly had no more fight in him. The guards, or even Shining himself, could take him out if he didn’t have Spike as a hostage. But… You could take him out. He didn’t even realize you were there. Shining was going to screw this up, you just knew it. So you slowly took off your gear, and snuck around the guards, squeezing through behind them. You could see that Dark Anon was looking around himself to make sure no guard approached him, which meant if you just jump onto the map at just the right time, you could dive into him and take out his near skeletal ass.
You snuck towards the map, staying out of the notice of the focused guards. Ok, Anon, just hop onto one of the seats, then bounce right towards him like a bullet. All you have to do is hit him once and it’ll be over.
“At least tell me what you want with her. Let Spike go and mayb-” But Dark Anon cuts him off again, growling at him in anger.
“And what?! N-n-negotiate? Hell no! You’re p-p-pathetic. The life of somepony you’ve known for s-s-s-so long is in my hooves, and you’re still p-pussyfooting around. Either give me T-Twilight, or I’ll give you his head! T-t-that’s it, those are your choices.” Dark Anon said, laying things down.
That was your chance! You quickly jump towards Fluttershy’s chair and bounce off from the seat to careen right into your doppelganger. But the moment you got close, you could feel the roots around your amulet chain tighten around your neck and begin to choke you, causing you to fall right before Dark Anon as you began to choke. When you tried to pull it off with your hooves, the roots merely loosened up to wrap around them, causing you to be unable to move your forehooves at all as the roots then began to wrap around your mouth and nose.
“Anon?! Anon, what are you doing?!” Shining called out to you, he almost used his magic to quickly pull you to safety. But the empty glare from your dark self stopped him. He began to realize that this monster was something he couldn’t agitate. If it snapped Spike’s arm, and killed Chrysalis, then whatever it wanted, it wasn’t willing to negotiate and was willing to kill to get what it wanted.
“Being my h-hostage, that’s what. Hahaha! What l-luck! Oh wait…” Dark Anon looked at you with his empty eyed stare, as he became angry once more. “It was fucking o-obvious! I know how you think, asshole! B-but when I’m paying attention, I can feel when my o-o-own roots are close to me.” He then walked over to you as he pointed to himself. “Look at what that b-b-bitch did to me! She was supposed to think I was h-h-hurt! But she figured me out, and tried to k-k-kill me! She’d been hanging a-around you for t-t-too long, Anon. You c-c-corrupt everything…” Dark Anon began to calm down, looking at you struggle as he took a moment to have the roots choke you for a bit before looking at Shining. He stood there and plucked a hair from your head, placing it on himself. Almost immediately, his roots began wrap within some parts of his skeletal body to reform some of himself, albeit looking much more hideous than before, like a colt-like tree monster. He was still having trouble moving, but it was becoming obvious he was also stalling himself, trying to regenerate himself. The pony he was talking about, it had to be Starlight. She must have gotten a good shot at him when it became obvious he wasn’t you. Chrysalis’s shot must have done more damage than you thought if he wasn’t able to maintain his look in front of Starlight.
Spike at this point was sobbing, unable to move his arm, and desperately wanting to be saved. Yet even then, when he saw you struggling and choking, he called out to Dark Anon, screaming he was going to fry him.
Dark Anon then looked upon Shining once more, ignoring Spike, smirking his skeletal melting teeth as they slowly, very slowly, began to regenerate into some wooded form. “Tell you what. You can have the dragon. You let me walk out of here, out of Equestria, with Anon, and we’ll be square. How does that sound?”
“You’re not leaving with anypony. You’re surrounded.” Shining could see the situation was even more dire, and tried his best to command the situation. “Think about it. You even try hurting Spike again, and my guards will…” Shining took a breath. He had to, he had to consider going that far to save you and Spike. Whatever this was, it wasn’t a pony, and it didn’t have a soul, it was a monster. “No, we all will run you through. Do you understand? Your only chance is to surrender, or else I will make sure you’ll never see another sunrise again.”
Dark Anon snickered at him. “Oh, an actual threat this time. Cool, but hear me out. Spike, I can understand Spike. He means a lot to you and Twilight. But Anon? Come on. You can threaten me all you want, but you know losing the dragon would devastate everypony you know. Especially his fans in your little shitty empire. But Anon? You don’t even like him, nopony does! Who’s going to miss him, Discord? Where even is he? Being useless, that’s what. Listen to me, Shining. What does he mean to you, to anypony? All he does is cause you and the other royals stress, he puts his own friends in danger, he’s selfish, a liar, and he hates some of his own friends anyway, he’s always complaining about them or thinking they’re too childish. He’s reckless, Shining, and one day he’s going to get Twilight killed. Just look at Chrysalis, all that crap about reforming her, and now, because of him, she’s missing a head. You can keep Twilight, you can keep Spike, but I need him and some of his body.”
Shining furrowed his brow, staying silent.
“Well? It’s either that or I snap both their heads off. Do it, Shining, you have nothing to gain by hesitating. He’s done nothing for you and just ruins everything. You’d be doing Equestria a favor by letting me take him. I promise, I’ll never come back. I’m smart enough to know there’s more than just Equestria out there, so you can have this dump. What do you say?” Dark Anon asked, giving him a smarmy smirk.
Shining looked up at Spike, then at you. Closed his eyes, then looked towards Dark Anon with an intense look. “I will snap you like a twig before I let that happen. I think I know what you are now, and if that is what you are, then I know I can’t let you leave here. So I’m giving you a choice. Let them both go, and I’ll send you to Tartarus. Twitch a single root, and I’ll blow your head clean off. This is your last warning.”
“Who do you think you are?!” Dark Anon suddenly flew into a rage, staring down at Shining as the holes in his eyes glowed red. “You’re literally the worst horse on the show! You’re useless! Do you honestly think you’re even capable of hurting anypony that much? I could snap Twilight’s head off and you wouldn’t do a thing to me! You’re that pathetic! Ha! I bet it took all your guts to even make that threat! You’re NGH!?” Suddenly, Dark Anon was slowly lifted by the throat by Shining’s magic. He couldn’t believe it. He was actually going to do it.
“You were saying?” Shining said in a low threatening voice.
“N-ngh, D-don’t! I can still snap their h-heads off! Think about it! The o-o-offer is still on the table!” Dark Anon said, trying to shake off Shining’s magic. Suddenly scared that this was somehow happening. Had he really pushed Shining that far?
Shining held him there, his body shaking. He wanted to, he needed to, he should have done it, snap his head clear off. But even with all that rage, and quick thinking, he just couldn’t do it. Not just because he’d be taking a life, but because he knew he was risking yours and Spike’s. He couldn't risk it if he still had the capability of ending you both. So he slowly put him back down. He was silent, as he began to realize he was running out of actions.
“Woah…” Dark Anon said to himself as he rubbed on the roots forming his neck. “He actually almost did it. Heh.” He then looked upon Shining with a smirk. “You’re lucky I’m a nice guy. So, do we have a deal? C’mon, we can forget this whole thing ever happened, and we all get what we-” But Dark Anon is cut off as a voice bellows from the main hall of the Castle.
“Stop!” Called Twilight, who had decided to appear, looking towards Dark Anon with anger as she walked towards Shining. “Stop this now!”
“Twilight?!” Shining said, astonished as his sister approached him. “Twilight, go back into your room. It’s too dangerous here!”
“I won’t. I could hear where this was heading. I couldn’t let you get to a point where you’d think about sacrificing anypony, for any reason. That isn’t who you are, and as long as I breathe, I’ll never let you walk down that path. As for you…” Twilight looked towards Dark Anon with an intense and determined look. “You’re a golem based off Anon. Starlight was right, you were the only conceivable thing that’d be able to get close to me.”
“Yeah, and? Look, Twilight, I’m past the point of caring and I don’t need this melodramatic bullcrap. I don’t need Spike, and as much as I’d like to cause eternal misery and all, my body comes first. You being here changes nothing. So again, let me take Anon, or you lose them both. Got it?” Dark Anon explained. It was clear he realized he couldn’t achieve his goals at this point if even Shining can surprise attack him. He needed an out, and was trying to work on the angle that you were nothing but a nuisance to everyone you knew.
“Twilight…” Spike said as his right arm hung limp. “Don’t let him win.” He said weakly in a whine. Even with his arm being held by the root, it hurt, it hurt worse than anything he’s ever felt before. And yet, just as everyone else must have felt, he couldn’t let anything happen to you, or Twilight, or to anyone.
“Twilight, don’t let him win” Dark Anon said in a mocking tone. “Does this look like I’m winning? I can barely regenerate! Twilight, I know you must have heard what I told your brother. Anon nearly got Silverstream killed, remember? The whole Storm King thing? He’s worth nothing to you! So step off, and let me walk away.”
Twilight shook her head, and stared down Dark Anon in her usual brave fashion. “I’m not letting you take him, because everypony is worth it, no matter what. I know what you are, and I heard what you said about Chrysalis. I… I could have never conceived that even a creation based off Anon would be capable of such a thing, but it’s also my fault for not preparing more, for not taking into consideration that she’d create somepony like you.”
“So I was right..." Shining said. "I knew you sounded like him!"
“Ding ding ding! Hey, that’s correct. And it doesn’t matter. Last chance, Princess. Either let me go or I off them both. If you know what I am, then you know I’m not playing around.” Dark Anon threatened, as he tightened the roots around your neck to make you whine in pain.
Twilight stared intently at the misshapen creature in front of her, she looked to you, to Spike, and she knew instantly what she had to do. “Then let’s trade. You wanted me, right? Then release Spike and Anon and I’ll be your prisoner.”
“No!” Shining jumped in front of Twilight, immediately getting in her face while making sure she doesn’t take any steps forward. “Are you crazy, Twilight?! You can’t do that!”
“I don’t have a choice…” Twilight said, letting out a heavy broken hearted sigh as she looked to her brother’s stern and shaken expression. “It’s like you said. We can’t let anything happen to Spike or Anon. This is the only way.”
“The only way?! Twilight! The idea is not to let anything happen to you either! We have him surrounded, he’s bluffing!” Shining angrily let out, trying to convince her, and even himself, that he was right.
“He’s not. I’ve seen how humans can be. Considering…” Twilight began to tear up, with genuine empathy and compassion for Chrysalis. “...What he did to Chrysalis, he’ll do the same to Spike and Anon unless we do something. Shining… I’m sorry.” And with a glow of her horn, she teleported from in front of shining to right in front of Dark Anon.
“W-woah! Hey, finally, melodramatic bullcrap that works on my side.” Dark Anon said with a demonic cackle. “Holy shit! This is amazing!”
“Twilight, no!” Spike said, shaking harder in his bonds, despite the pain in his arm,
Twilight furrowed her brow at him, becoming angry with his arrogance and nonchalance at the situation. “Let them go! I’m the one you want.”
Dark Anon stopped his cackling for a moment, and nodded as he let the roots throw spike into a crowd of guards. “There we go.”
“Spike!” Twilight yelled out as she looked back at him, scared he was hurt worse. She then looks to Dark Anon, angry as all hell and yet trying to keep her calm. She wanted to shout at him, lecture him, but she knew he was beyond that. And with you still in his grip, she couldn’t scold him. “Now let Anon go.”
“Yeah… No.” Dark Anon said with a shrug. “For one, it's a life for a life, Princess, and you’re barely worth one to me. For two, I still need him to get back to my badass self. And for three, now that you’re here, I can kill you and still get out of here by holding him hostage.” Dark Anon began to laugh evilly as the roots that were previously holding Spike aimed for Twilight. “Holy shit, you ponies are dumb as fuck! Now eat shit and die!” The roots quickly darted towards Twilight. Even as Shining prepared a barrier and went to jump in front of Twilight, he wasn’t quick enough to get in the way in time.
However, as Twilight flinched and brought her wings over her head, the roots themselves stopped just before piercing her skull. She slowly lifted her wings to stare at them. “W-what?”
Shining jumped and pushed Twilight aside, but even upon doing so, the roots stood still. “Twily! I got… you?”
The roots around your neck and ear began to loosen, falling off your body. “N-ngh… What? The hell?” When you looked back, you could see one of the guards standing over your dark self, with a spear piercing right through his head as he began to struggle. Due to his body being barely held together by roots, he was unable to melt through the spear.
“N-N-Ngh. H-H-HOW?! N-No… N-no one… N-no one would…GYAH!” Suddenly, the spear began to twist in his head.
“What? Cut through anypony?” The guard said to Dark Anon as she leaned her head towards him, whispering to him. “I’m just returning the favor.”
“Returning the…” Dark Anon could barely move his head, but he was able to see the eyes of the guard, those familiar eyes. “N-No, I c-cut off-NGH! AHH!” Dark Anon screamed out in pain as he suddenly began to burst in green flames.
“Burn… burn knowing you could never truly beat me. Burn for what you did to my captain. I hope you disappear knowing that even with everything you were capable of, that you’re still an insignificant little copy.” Chrysalis whispered to him as she stepped back to watch him burn.
“Gyyyah!” Dark Anon screamed as his body’s skin completely melted off into a root-like skeleton. “No! D-D-Don’T! H-H-Help me! T-T-Twilight!” Dark Anon reached for her, but despite Twilight showing remorse, Shining stepped in front of her to guard her from Dark Anon’s pleas. “I C-Can’t! It H-H-Hurts! IT HURTS! PLEASE! SOMEPONY!” But no one was getting up to save him. He then looked to you, seeing you stand as you looked down at him with nothing but hatred for him. You didn’t realize yet who the guard was, but whoever she was, you were glad she had the guts to take him down. “No! A-Aunt Fluttershy! AUNT FLUTTERSHY! HELP ME! PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO…” And then nothing, as he changed into a burning unmoving piece of wood that slowly burned into ash.
The nightmare was over.
“Holy crap…” You said in a low voice as you plopped on your butt. You looked up at the guard, white as snow, with beautiful blue eyes and her mane covered by her helmet. “T-thank you…” You said as you rubbed your neck. You then looked at the ash sitting on the cutie map. Christ, he was close, so damn close to killing Twilight. To killing you. You were shaken. You look up and around to see that all the roots had dried up and died, all except one that was still very dark. It wasn’t moving however, how odd. Doesn’t matter, it was fucking over. “I… Wow, just. The way you just came in like that, I didn’t know any of the royal guards could do something like that.”
The guard walked up to you and gently gave you a pat on the head as she softly said. “It’s my duty to protect everypony. I mean, gawsh, I don’t know why everypony else didn’t try that.” The guard said with a bubbly giggle. “I mean, things got really scary, but… Y’know, a job’s a job. Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah, I… wow. So, you weren’t scared at all?” You asked the guard.
“Pfft, nah. It would have been scary if anything happened to you, and well, the princess, so I couldn't let that happen. Er, speaking of which.” The guard looked over to Shining and saluted. “Er, boss? Mind if I approach. Debriefing and all that? I was kinda doin’ something before you called us all here.”
“Er, yeah… Um.” Shining looked back at the guards behind him. “You eight, I want Spike, and anypony else that is hurt, taken to the hospital ASAP! We’re done here.”
“H-hey!” Spike said as he slowly walked through the crowd of guards, holding his arm. “I don’t need to go to a hospital, I need to stay here and make sure you’re all o-Ngh” Spike grunted, wincing as he held his arm.
“Spike, please go with them to the hospital. I want everypony to be ok, and that includes you. Please…” Twilight said, tears coming down her eyes before she suddenly embraced him in a hug. She couldn’t control herself, she was just glad he was ok.
“Ow!! Ow! Ow!!! Ok! Ok!” Spike said as he quickly broke from the hug. “I-I get it, alright. I… I’m sorry for getting caught though, Twilight. I just thought you may have wanted a book to read while we all waited.”
“It’s ok, Spike. I… I should have kept a better eye on you. I should have asked one of the guards to watch you. I… I’m just glad you’re alright.” Twilight said, tears still coming down her eyes.
“Ehhh.” Spike said with a half shrug. “I’m always alright as long as you are. Didn’t realize that guy was a full on tree, I should have just tried burning him to a crisp, would have saved us a whole lot of trouble. What did he say about Chrysalis though? Did she make him or something?”
Twilight flinched, realizing he didn’t catch everything that was said. “Y-yes… Spike, you shouldn’t wait around here, really. Go with the guards and make sure the others are ok.”
“Gotcha.” Spike then looks to you, and waves “Hey Anon, are you ok? You look better than me, at least.”
“Y-yeah, I’m fine. I, just, uh… need to check something.” You say, as you slowly back up to get your saddlebag. You had to check on Chrysalis, and maybe, hopefully, ease her into meeting with Twilight without Shining being about, maybe finally show her that this mess she created wasn’t worth it at all.
“Alright then.” Spike said with a nod, as he began to walk with the guards out the door. The guard who took down your evil self went to talk with Shining and Twilight, the other guards just hanging around.
You hop down to grab your saddle bag, then slowly move away from everyone so you can whisper into your bag. “Chrysalis, hey, Chrysalis.” You called to her. But there was no answer. “Chrysalis? Are you alright?” You open the bag wider, and slowly put your head inside to see if she was around.
“...And you can expect a promotion after we get back to the empire. But, uh, who are you exactly? I… Don’t ever remember recruiting you before. S-sorry if I forgot, I’ve just been under a lot of stress, you understand.” Shining said, trying to be polite to his soldier.
Your ear perked up. Chrysalis wasn't in the bag, and Shining didn’t know the soldier? Wait… The flames that engulfed your dark self… They were green…
“Oh, Shinypoo, I’m so hurt that you don’t remember me, after all this time.” The guard said with a poutyface.
“Shinypoo? Uh, Shining? D-do you know this mare?” Twilight said, in a tone that suggested that she hoped to god her brother wasn’t doing anything inappropriate.
“I swear, I’ve never met her in my life!” Shining said, sweating, unable to place where he’d seen this mare before.
“Oh, relax, it really doesn’t matter… Now that I finally have WHAT I WANT!” The guard lights up her horn, and telekinetically throws an unprepared Twilight onto the Cutie Map, on her back, as the guard flips backwards, transforming into… “Hahahaha! Gotcha!” Chrysalis cackled as she stood above Twilight, removing the spear she used to take out Dark Anon as she aimed it towards Twilight.
No… NO! “Chrysalis! Don’t!” NO! NO! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! You rushed over to jump onto the cutie map, but the edges began to alight in a thick green flame. “Chrysalis! Don’t! No! Don’t do it!”
“Chrysalis!” Shining grew into a furious rage, rushing up towards the cutie map as he began to prepare to jump through the flames. “You unforgivable monster! I knew you’d do something like this!”
“Back off! Step any closer and I'll end her here and now!" Chrysalis said as her seraphic wings spread, the flames growing higher. “It’s too late, my revenge has come and none of you will be able to stop me!”
“Chrysalis!” You called out to her, screaming. “You can’t! You’re throwing everything away! There’s nothing for you if you do this! Please! Think about me! Think about Diamond! PLEASE!” Dammit! She wasn’t listening! You still had no charges. But… But your Codec, you could use it now. You started calling for Discord, desperate. But despite it all, there was no answer. “Dammit… C’mon!”
“It’s too late, Anon. Too late for me… And too late for you, Twilight Sparkle.” Chrysalis said with a low chuckle. “To think, I thought I wouldn’t be able to salvage this plan, and yet here we are, at the cusp of your demise. This will be worth it. Don’t take it too personally though, as I said, I want your mentor to feel exactly as she made me feel.”
But Twilight, she was just laying there. Her eyes were shifting towards Chrysalis’s wings, then to her. For some reason, Twilight showed no fear, and it already irked Chrysalis to no end. “Too scared to react? You do realize you’re doomed, right?”
“Chrysalis… I can’t imagine all the pain you have in your heart to still want to go through with this. But please, I want you to think about this.” Twilight said to her, calmly.
“Is that a plea for mercy?” Chrysalis said, as her cheer for victory began to crack, anger and hatred starting to become slowly apparent.
Twilight shook her head. “No. I just think you are trying to ignore everything you’ve gained to try to exact empty vengeance.”
“Empty? Empty? I LOST EVERYTHING!” Chrysalis said as she brought the spear closer to Twilight’s neck. “MY KINGDOM, MY CHILDREN, GONE! She caused ALL OF IT! She’ll still have her kingdom when you’re gone, so this won’t even be close to what she did to me… But it’s a start.”
Twilight again shook her head. “You didn’t lose everything, Chrysalis. You have a friend, a friend who has stuck by you, no matter how evil you act or how much you tease or even hurt him, he’s always stuck by your side. And I know through him, you’ve shown a side of yourself you didn’t even know you had.”
Chrysalis scoffed at her words. “Anon? Ha! Anon is a pathetic little fool who does whatever I tell him to do, he was just a tool to bring me to this moment.” Chrysalis then yelled out from beyond the flames. “DO YOU HEAR ME, ANON! YOU’RE WORTH NOTHING TO ME NOW THAT I’LL FINALLY HAVE MY REVENGE!”
…
You were stunned by those words. You stopped trying to call Discord as you slowly backed away from the flames guarding the center of the map. Was that it? Did she use you as a back up to get to Twilight? How? How could… Wait… WAIT! NO! HOLY CRAP NO! “CHRYSALIS! DON’T YOU DARE! I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING, AND I WON’T HATE YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING THIS YOUR LAST STAND!”
“Idiot…” Chrysalis said in a low voice, rolling her eyes. “He just wants to believe what he wants to believe. It doesn’t matter, it’s all over for you, Princess.”
“Do you really think that? I… I heard Anon yell about Diamond. Diamond Tiara? Do you know her?” Twilight asked.
“And what if I do? What does it matter?” Chrysalis asked, as the spear began to shake in hesitancy.
“You care about her, just like you care about Anon. Chrysalis, you’re trying to ignore your feelings just to get petty revenge. If you do this, then you’ll truly have nothing. But, if we work together, your family… Your family isn’t gone, Chrysalis. They only want to love and share, and I’m sure they’d want you back if you just-” But Chrysalis began shouting at her, cutting her off.
“What?! Reform?! Love?! Is that it?! To turn into some disgusting being incapable of anything worth of note?! Never…” Chrysalis said as she steadied the spear in her magical grip. “You don’t seem to understand. Even if I did care about Anon, and whoever else you’re babbling about, it’s worth losing all of that just to make Celestia suffer. Ending you is just a bonus.”
“Will that really make you happy? Happier than everything your friends have done with you?” Everything you shared with Anon? Was all that meaningless to you?” Twilight said, baffled at how Chrysalis could be this stubborn, yet deep inside, fearing this could be it for her.
“Yes… And time is up, Twilight Sparkle. You’ve finally failed, and I will finally have my vengeance. Funny, how you tried to appeal to my stone dead heart. There was never anything you could do. And your friends, nor your brother, nor any of the guards in this very room could stop me. NOTHING can stop m-” But Chrysalis is suddenly cut off.
In fact, everyone was cut off right then and there as gasps could be heard in the room.
The loudest, and indeed, most pained gasp, came from you. You were so busy trying to contact Discord while focusing on Chrysalis that you didn’t even realize the root that was still alive above the cutie map had aimed towards you, and shot its large tip directly into your chest, sending you back against the wall. “NGH!” You were having trouble breathing, you started to bleed out of your chest slowly, the root seemingly puncturing deep enough to stop most of the flow. But your heart, you could feel it stopping, your body going cold.
The flames around the cutie map quickly dissipated. Chrysalis raised her head as the spear fell down onto the map. She was staring at you, she was motionless, shaking.
You were having trouble remaining conscious, you reached your hooves out for help, you could barely speak. The guards were stunned, and before anyone could really process what had happened, Chrysalis flew right towards you, sending the guards she flew into aside as she went to check on you. “No! No! Anon! You imbecile! How did this happen?!” Chrysalis tried to slowly remove the root’s tip, but as she did, some blood splotched into her face, making her step back. “Anon…”
“C-Chrysalis…” You reached out to her weakly, as things began to blur.
Chrysalis became silent, she dabbed her hoof on the blood on her face, and stared at it, slowly looking up at the root above the cutie map as it began to wither and die. “I… I… ”
“Everypony, get Anon to the hospital, now!” Twilight yelled out as she quickly stood up, trying to take command of the situation.
“You four, follow me, we’re arresting Chrysalis once and for all.” Shining commanded as he and a group of guards began to approach the stunned bug.
“Shining, wait!” Twilight called out to him.
“No! She’s gone too far…” Shining said, as his words began to become hard to hear.
All you could hear was mushed sounds that sounded like words as you reached to Chrysalis one last time, the guards gently dislodging the spike from the wall to take you to the hospital as quick as possible. Chrysalis weakly reached out to you, but was immediately surrounded. Those eyes, you’d never seen her like that…
It was as if you slipped away into nothingness, or perhaps there was never anything there to begin with.
It was as if…
“Gyah!” You open your eyes, then reel back as sunlight blinds you. “Bah! What in the… What?”
You looked around to see a very beautiful meadow of flowers, made up of various types, with colors vibrant across the horizon. “...Am I dreaming? Did I die? No, this isn’t how death is, is it? What even happened?” You began to walk forward, into the beautiful endlessness that laid before you. “I can’t… I can’t even…” You just continued to walk, confused, nothing but endless flowers coming into view. “It’s gotta be a dream… Was all of it a dream?” You began to look around again. If… If it was a dream… Then. “Luna! Hey! Are you here?!”
Suddenly, the sunny sky above you turns into night, the moon rising as it becomes blanketed by stars.
“...Godammit” It was a dream. But how much of it was actually a dream? Was it in the before? The after? “Luna… What is going on? Please tell me everything with my evil self wasn’t some sort of dream. Please, because I do not need this right now.”
She did not appear before you, but you could hear her voice in the midnight winds. “No, Anon, I have only just arrived after you had called for me.”
Wut?
“I mean, yeah. When I’m lucid in a dream, it means you’re around. But then… What do you mean you ‘just arrived’?” The hell was she talking about? What was going on?
“As in, I have entered your dream the moment I heard your call. Anon, you may have not realized it, but you’ve been in a deep darkness that even I could not find for weeks now. I have spent my time in the world of dreams trying to locate you, hoping you had not fallen into the beyonds of the beyond.” Luna said.
Beyonds of the beyond? Death? You nearly died?!
Wait…
You put your hoof to your chest, and look down. You could see it, but not feel it, the hole that was made by the root spike that had pierced you was still there! You panicked and fell back, breathing rapidly as you began to look around. “Luna! Luna! Am I dying?! Holy crap! Please! Please you have to help me!”
“Calm yourself, Anon. Despite what you’re seeing now, the barb that had pierced you has been safely removed in the waking world.” Luna said to you, in her stoic tone.
Wut?
“Then, what? A-am I dying? D-did it pierce my heart?” Oh god, Dark Anon really did it. He killed you, or you’re so seriously fucked that you’re going to die within the dream realm.
“No. In fact, the barb had miraculously managed to miss every vital organ within your small body. However, it had poisoned you with a strange poison that sent you into a deep dreamless sleep. We had feared that despite your physical self being able to recover, that your inner self had a possibility to pass on.” Luna said.
Strange poison? The roots were poisonous? You’d think Dark Anon would have mentioned something about that. Then again, that last barb he sent through you was probably charged with the rest of the magic he had left, which, er, added poison? Seemed about right. “B-but you found me. So, what does that mean?”
“It means you are recovering, and will awake fairly soon. I can say this, Anon, I am relieved that you are alright, and I will inform Twilight immediately of your waking. But, before I do that, I must relay some news to you that, whether it angers you or not, that you must hear.” Luna said to you.
News? OH SHIT! “Starlight, Scrappy, Sunburst! Are they alright?!”
“Yes, changelings have quite the healing factor, and Sunburst was only slightly injured. Starlight, despite her injured ribs, has made a full recovery as well.” Luna told you.
Yes! Ok! So they're ok, and you remember Spike being ok with just a arm broken.
"W-what about Fluttershy? She, er, isn't too worried, right?" You asked.
There was a long silence
W-well then. Dammit, you didn't want to worry her that badly. Then again, you didn't plan on getting skewered either.
But then…
You hesitated…
You could remember something else. Shining having Chrysalis arrested.
What happened after you fell unconscious?
“You must be wondering what happened to Chrysalis. Am I correct?” Luna asked
“Y-yeah… Did she… I…” You didn’t know how to word it. Do you ask if she reformed? If she’s ok? Was she sent to Tartarus? Or… Did something worse happen?
“She remains at Twilight’s castle, within a cage, on constant guard.” Luna said, with no hesitation.
Shit! “What?! So she did get arrested?! Wait, why is she still in the castle? What happened to her? What’s going on?”
“Calm yourself, Anon, and allow me to explain. Prince Shining Armor had arrested her after-” But you cut her off, yelling up into the sky.
“Fuck that guy! I remember how she looked when she t-” But then the sky shook, with stars nearly falling down on you in bright blue fire as Luna bellowed out a voice so intimidating that you swear Sombra would have fucking quivered.
“ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN, ANON!” Luna shouted.
“...E-erm, ok.” You just kinda put your butt down, and looked up, your tail curling around your rear as you just, er, wait for Luna to finish explaining. You were on her turf, and she was being serious, probably not good to upset her when it comes to something so serious.
“Ahrm, now then. She was put under arrest by Shining Armor, something she herself had allowed. Or at least she had not resisted, as I was told she seemed to be in some sort of trance. Since the arrest, Twilight had wanted to show a mercy to Chrysalis, a mercy Shining Armor was not willing to allow. There was many arguments to be had, both of them not being able to agree upon what to do with her. At first, it seemed Shining was going to have his way. But then, Chrysalis, she came out of her trance within her cage and heard the argument between the two. She had made a request, or perhaps it was a plea. She had asked to be allowed to remain under arrest in the castle until you had recovered, to allow her her goodbyes, before she is tried among the royals. I’m sure you understand what that means.” Luna explained.
...Wut?
“She… Wants to see me? She gave up and… Wait…” Noooo, wait. “Royal court?! As in you’re all going to judge her and shit?!”
“Anon, understand that it was her decision, no doubt to try to sway Shining Armor into granting her this mercy. You must also understand, as must Twilight, that she made an attempt on her life when she could have walked away once her plan failed. Once you combine that with her past crimes, this royal trial is more than fair.” Luna explained.
“Bullshit! I saw her, she backed off from Twilight! And hell, if even Twilight, freaking Twilight, is willing to side with me, then you can’t just… Ngh, Shining Armor is gonna say guilty no matter what! Hell, what does Celestia think? Cadance? You, what do you think?” Fucking hell, you were so close. If she was willing to allow this herself, then she did change. Come on, you know she did… Dammit!
“Cadance, I do not know. As for my sister, I will not say and you will bear her no ill will. She has been making sure not even rumors of this event spread. Your dealings with Chancellor Neighsay has put her in a position of secrecy. Not just for your sake, but for Twilight as well.” Luna says.
Fuck… You forgot about him. Ngh, if he did find out about what happened… Everything would be fucked. Dammit… You fucked up. Did Chrysalis not reform? You at least knew she cared about you…
But that wasn’t enough, not for that guy.
You just sat there, and began to whimper. You tried so hard, for so long, but you couldn’t save her. She was right, you were a fool to ever attempt it. She just… She just couldn’t be saved.
“Anon?” Luna called to you.
“...I fucked up, Luna. I just… I just wanted so bad to save her. I don’t even know why. She always treated me like shit, and yet… She didn’t. I don’t, I don’t know what to think. I thought I was close, and… Maybe I was, because she cares about me, and Diamond, and… I just, it just wasn’t enough.” You failed, and now she was going to be locked away. You didn’t even know how you were going to break it to Diamond.
Suddenly, you felt a hoof gently come upon your shoulder. “Anon, I believe you asked about how I feel about the situation.”
You look back, and see Luna, looking at you with a subtle and gentle smile as the field around you began to warp into… Some sort of library inside Twilight’s castle. Fuck, how many libraries did she have? And… Wait. That cage behind the guards... “Chrysalis? Chrysalis!” You rush up to the caged Changeling, past the guards, but she didn’t notice you, neither did the guards. She was just laying there, looking bored, looking like she was deep in thought. “I’m still in the dream.”
“Of course you are, although this is more of a memory.” Luna said.
“A memory? Whose memory?” You asked, your question being answered as another Luna enters the room. She doesn’t seem to notice you or the Luna who was with you, which made you realize. “Your memory?”
Luna simply nodded as her memory dismissed the guards.
“You… You went to talk to her yourself? What, why?” Why Luna, of all ponies? That made no sense to you.
“Why not? Anon, despite your terrible degeneracy and unappealing humor, I’d like to think we have bonded well.” Luna said.
Wut?
“Uh? What? I-I mean, I guess? But, er, despite you keeping my secret about the Storm King, you kinda seem like you don’t like me all too much. I mean, I know that’s mostly my fault, but… Well, we uh… Yeah, what?” You were befuddled.
Luna giggled and gave you a gentle pat on the head. “As they say, you’ve grown on me. I don’t agree with everything you do, but your blind devotion and capacity for love reminds me of myself. You stopped at nothing to try to reform your friend, and show her the right path. So, curious as to how well you truly did, I had decided to see for myself how much progress had been made.”
Wut? You reminded her of herself? Either she was being egotistical, ignorant, or… Something. Blind devotion? Capacity for love? Sure, she was loving, you guessed? Blind devotion? Er, to the night? You didn’t really get it, but whatever, just go with it. “Ok… So, er, we’re watching your memory? I mean, you don’t seem upset at her about what happened and… I just…” You started to become curious. Was this a good memory? Was this… Well, it was too soon to call it. So you just sat there, and waited. “I… I’m just going to sit here and watch.”
“Indeed, I too shall do that, and I shall enjoy your reactions, as I am sure you will be quite surprised.” Luna said as she sat next to you, getting a little giddy as her memory approached Chrysalis.
You were about to comment that the way she was acting, and her words, kinda ruined the surprise. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, because this was still quite surprising. Luna going to see Chrysalis? Even if everything went well, you had to see how it went down, you had to know what Chrysalis had to say. Like, holy shit, not in a million years did you ever think Luna was going to talk to Chrysalis. Could this be it? What you were waiting for?
“Well, well, well, the princess of the night herself. Aren’t you a little early? Or did you come just to gawk at the caged animal?” Chrysalis, cold and defensive as ever, she even had her wings back in their original flavor. Though, at this point, you were sure she was just hiding her newly transformed ones.
“I came to speak with you.” Luna said, her memory giving as stoic an expression as the one next to you. “Having heard everything about you thus far, I thought speaking to you personally would be pertinent to the situation. Although, I hope this conversation becomes more than that.”
“Hmph, so what does that mean? Or does it mean that you came just to play psychoanalyst with me?” Chrysalis asked. She was being patient, confident, and slightly annoyed with Luna.
“That depends on you. I heard you agreed to all this so you could say goodbye to Anon one last time. Is that the truth?” Luna asked.
Chrysalis said nothing as she leered at Luna.
“So it is not the truth.” Luna said, as she began to pace right and left of the cage. “I thought as much. Biding your time to make an escape, my sister felt that may be the case.”
“Oh, is that right? Well, maybe she should have come instead, I would have left the guards a nice present as I escape this dinky little cage.” Chrysalis said, as her annoyance and anger slowly began to mount.
“Still so vengeful. I should have known Anon failed to reform you.” Luna said as she turned around, looking towards the exit of the library.
You looked towards the real Luna, surprised. “Holy shit, Luna. You know she’s faking it right?” Suddenly, you started to feel a little unsure. “R-right?”
“Shhhh, do not speak until the memory is over.” Luna said as she shushed you.
Christ, please don’t let this be Luna lording over you that Chrysalis was fucking evil the whole time. God, please don’t let this be Chrysalis actually being evil the whole time.
“Of course he did. I change for nopony. But you can’t do anything, can you? As long as Twilight believes there’s still a chance, you telling her anything will mean nothing.” Chrysalis transforms into Twilight, and speaks in a mocking tone. “She’s just being herself, Luna. She just doesn’t want to admit she cares about Anon.”
“I’m aware of that.” Luna says, without turning her head back to her.
“Then? What do you hope to achieve?” Chrysalis asked as she changed back to her original form, a bit confused about the situation, as she had expected Luna to react more angrily, or to feel hopeless about the situation.
“Something even my sister isn’t capable of. While she blames you for everything that has transpired, just as you blame her. I know the true culprit of all of this.” Luna said, looking back at Chrysalis with cruel glowing eyes.
“True culprit?” Chrysalis scoffed. “Well, this is news to me. You don’t intimidate me, princess. So just say your silly little theory and get out of my face.”
“The true culprit… is Anon.” Luna said, as rain could suddenly be heard through the library window, lightning striking.
Wut?
“...Luna?” You slowly looked to her, worried as fuck.
Luna said nothing to you this time, staring at the memory. Where the fuck was this going?
“Anon? The true culprit?” Chrysalis started laughing at that. “That idiot couldn’t mastermind his way into my bed chambers, much less anything you’re thinking. Have you lost your mind, Little Luna? Or perhaps you’re just trying to rationalize how close I was to ending your sister’s little prodigy.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, I made the order before coming here.” Luna said, sounding vague and ominous.
“Order?... What order?” Chrysalis said, she actually became a little shaken, As if she too was feeling what you felt.
“He went away peacefully, Chrysalis. Despite his foolishness, his human tendencies are not compatible with Equestria. So to do what had to be done, I too had to indulge in something that would be deemed forbidden. Something, if found out, may bring back the eventual reign of Nightmare Moon.” Luna stated, her eyes were still glowing, her words still ominous.
Went away peacefully? But she said… Oh, holy shit, no way! “Luna, no fucki-” But Luna looked back at you with her own eyes glowing, as she yelled in the ‘Royal Canterlot’ voice.
“SILENCE UNTIL THE MEMORY IS OVER!” Luna shouted.
Eep, ok she was being serious.
“Went away peacefully? What do you mean by that?” Chrysalis said, her wings flittering, her voice becoming angry.
“Was I not clear? Anon is gone, I had an agent poison him in his slumber. It was hard for me to come to this decision, and I bear the responsibility of it-” But Luna is interrupted as Chrysalis suddenly goes crazy, smashing at the cage as her true seraphic wings reveal themselves.
“I’LL DESTROY YOU! HOW DARE YOU! HE DID NOTHING WRONG! LUNA! LUNNNNAAA! I SWEAR, ONCE I AM OUT OF THIS CAGE, YOU’RE DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN TO THE ENDS OF EQUESTRIA, AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU PAY… I’LL… You…” Chrysalis actually began to tear up, she actually started to sob as she continued bashing at the cage, trying to destroy it with her magic. “You can’t… Anon… You… I didn’t...” And then, she started screaming again. “YOU, AND YOUR KIN, AND YOUR KINGDOM, I’LL SEE IT ALL BURNED TO THE GROUND! DO YOU HEAR ME?! HE DIDN’T EVEN…” Chrysalis suddenly stopped, and let herself slump down. “I didn’t even get the chance to tell him I’m sorry.”
“You’ll have your chance.” The memory of Luna said, as her eyes returned to their normal state. She looked to Chrysalis with a soft smile. “He’s still very much alive.”
“But you just said…” Suddenly, Chrysalis jumped up and looked at Luna with fierce anger. “You just said you put him down!”
“A lie for a lie.” Luna said as she looked at Chrysalis’s wings. “Surely you, of all creatures, know of that kind of trade.”
Chrysalis’s right eye began to twitch as she growled at Luna. “...I should end you right now for that. How dare you tell me such a thing! How dare you get me to admit anything even remotely… You know what I’m getting at.”
“I believe we stand on equal ground, given your threats to my sister and nearly ending Twilight’s life. Now then, can we perhaps have a conversation?” Luna asked, as she sat down in front of the cage.
Chrysalis let out an annoyed short laugh. “Oh sure, let’s do that. So, Luna, my friend, my gal pal, how ever did you even come to tell me such a lie? Hm?”
“Ah, are you impressed?” Luna asked, being genuine about it.
“Sure... “ Chrysalis said in a sarcastic tone.
“Well, as Princess of the Night, I have the ability to peer into dreams. When it comes to Anon, you have left a certain avenue into your mind quite open. While I cannot explore all of it, I could tell you’ve been having trouble sleeping as you worried about his condition. I have, like for all, tried to ease your fears.”
“First of all, I fear nothing! Second of all, nopony gave you a right to look into my head!” Chrysalis shouted. “We’re not friends, Luna! And I will never forgive you, Celestia, or any of you other wretched do gooders.” Chrysalis said as she turned around, facing away from Luna. “Now leave me alone…”
“Yes, I have thought about your constant need of revenge as well. My sister, she can be quite irritating at times, hm?” Luna asked.
“Hmph, aren’t you gone yet?” Chrysalis responded.
You just looked at the real Luna and shook your head. “I know you said to wait. But fucking christ, Luna. I mean, that lie was kinda... I don't know how to feel about it, it got the job done but, yeesh. But also, damn, your dream shit again? Do you really just spy on everypony?”
“Hmph, I am the princess of the night, Anon, it is my civic duty.” Luna responded, actually being defensive this time around rather than shouting at you.
You roll your eyes. “Whatever you say.” Christ, there's no way to get it through her head that it... Well, maybe it is actually helpful. Or maybe it just traumatizes ponies into doing the right thing.
“Exactly.” Luna said, missing your sarcasm. Typical Luna, probably the only pony who will never change ever, sees nothing wrong with it, nope.
Looking back at the memory, you could see Luna suddenly sliding a huge cake towards Chrysalis, where did that come from?
“...Is that a cake?” Chrysalis asked, confused. “Is this supposed to be some sort of peace offering?”
“Something like that. Even if my sister is stressed, it is no reason to have something of this size be made to sate her sweet tooth. I pilfered it, and thought you may enjoy it. You don’t have to eat it, but that is up to you.” Luna explained.
“You’re trying to bribe my favor by using your sister’s treats? Well… Just toss it in a trash can, I don’t want to eat whatever she made.” Chrysalis said, looking away from the cake.
“I see, well, I can certainly do that.” Luna said as she opened the window and literally chucked the cake into the rain.
“Huh…” Chrysalis just stared, now she was really confused. To her, Luna was suddenly some sort of paradoxal being, she couldn't figure out what she really wanted out of this. And perhaps, she was worried about on getting on her bad side, lest her lie suddenly become truth. She then went silent for a moment before finally asking about you. Since Luna wanted to talk so badly to her, she might as well ask something important. “So how is he, really?”
“He’s mostly recovered, but he lays dormant in a deep dark sleep. The barb that pierced him had some sort of sleeping poison within it.” Luna explained.
“I've heard that. …Better than what I would have expected from his evil self. Have you been able to make contact with him?” Chrysalis asked, trying not to seem too caring, despite her previous display of anger.
“Not yet, but you will be informed once I have.” Luna told her.
“You better… Hm, don’t think of this as me caring any further, but has his marefriend been sleeping well? I can only imagine you have had your hooves filled with her.” Chrysalis asked, still facing away from Luna.
“I’ve done my best each night. I know you care for her as well, you needn’t hide it." Luna said to her. "I know you would enjoy her company, and I sincerely wish I could grant you that comfort."
Chrysalis groaned. “Ugh, you’re a snoopy little princess, aren’t you? Fine, since we’re going to be truthful to each other now, what does your sister really think about this, what is she doing?”
“She’s been busy keeping things hidden from the one known as Chancellor Neighsay. Of course, this also extends to keeping the entire incident out of the ears and minds of everycreature in Equestria. Only a few know what happened, and have been sworn to secrecy.” Luna explained. “As for what she thinks of the entire situation? That, I truly do not know, my sister wishes to keep her thoughts to herself, and although I may have tried to peek into her dreams to find out, she has kept herself mentally locked out.”
Christ, even Celestia isn't safe from Luna's snooping.
“Old dutiful Celestia. Always plotting, scheming, doing what she wants. No wonder you became Nightmare Moon.” Chrysalis said as she slowly turned to face Luna with a smirk. “How ever do you deal with her?”
“There is no dealing, Chrysalis, we simply do as we do as sisters.” Luna said.
Chrysalis just looked at her with an annoyed half lidded look. “Right, sure. That’s not exactly the answer I was expecting, but then again, I don’t know what to expect anymore.”
“Then how about this? I have heard Fluttershy has spoken to you…” But the memory began to fade as you and Luna returned to the field of flowers.
“Wait! Wait! What?! Fluttershy?! What did they talk about?! What happened?! Luna, come on! Why did you cut it off there?!” What the fuck! That was something you had to hear, you needed to know for yourself.
“I’ve shared enough, and the day draws near. I must leave you to inform Twilight of your waking.” Luna said to you.
“Holy shit, Luna! That isn’t fair! Coooome on, that’s really important!” Like, fuck man, that was not a good place to cut things off! It finally looked like Chrysalis was giving in.
“Then perhaps you shouldn’t have wasted time interrupting. Time in a dream moves much faster than time in the waking world. Besides, you will be able to ask what happened yourself, once you awaken.” Luna said, before giving you a bop. "Besides, looking into a conversation between her and Fluttershy in a dream would be snooping, would it not?"
Woooooow, she can't even pick a good time for a joke. Fucking hell.
But, if you were already getting close to waking, then...
“Dammit! But… The trial! You’re still going to… Is it really going to be a thing?” It worried you. Chrysalis, being judged by royalty that hated her. Though, from the sounds of it, Cadance would be the tie breaker, as Luna and Twilight seemed to be on your side.
Luna nodded as she began to slowly fade. “It is, Anon. I promise to try to do the best for you, as I have seen real change in her. I truly think, under proper supervision, that she can thrive.”
Words you never thought you’d hear from her. Christ, when did Luna become more understanding than fucking Celestia? Then again, whatever dreams Chrysalis was having, that must have been what convinced her. They had to be truly terrifying to make Luna try to help Chrysalis in any way.
But wait, there was one last thing.
“Wait, Luna, what about Discord? Has he, like, shown up at all?” You asked her.
“No, Anon… And nopony knows where he is, not even Fluttershy.” Luna said as she began to completely fade.
Goddammit, all this time, all this fucking time, and he’s nowhere to be seen. He could have at least woken you up, or… something. He could have stopped Dark Anon in an instant, dammit, how did he not feel he was there?! Fucking Discord, goddamn useless when the chips are down. Fucking…
He could have changed things…
Maybe he could have stopped Chrysalis from threatening Twilight, and things could have ended better from there.
“...Ok, I’ll… see you later, Luna. Thank you, for coming to see me, and making sure I’m ok. Thank you for showing me that memory.” You truly were thankful. You now knew, without any doubt, that Chrysalis held you near and dear to her heart.
Luna nodded to you as she disappeared. “You’re very welcome, Anon. Enjoy your time in this peaceful place, as your awakening is at hand.”
And with that, she disappeared, as daylight within the dream began to commence, growing ever brighter by the minute.
“Given his reactions, he should be waking up soon, Princess Twilight.”
“Mmm, doctor, are you sure he’s alright? That scar…”
“Not to worry, it’s only a scar, the stitches will be ready to be removed tomorrow.”
“And the poison?”
“It seems his body is expelling it. We want to keep him here for a few more days to monitor him, just in case.”
“I see… And is it safe for him to be awake at this point?”
“Yes, as long as he doesn’t go rushing out of bed.”
“Oh boy, Twilight, that’s like the one thing Anon always does.”
“It’ll be ok, Spike, I’m sure he’ll understand. I…”
“Twilight, come on, it’s gonna be ok. Trust me, you heard what Princess Luna said, everything is gonna work out.”
“Doctor, can we have a moment?”
“Of course, Princess Twilight. But as I said, please do not startle or excite him, and everything should be fine.”
…
“Spike, I know what Princess Luna said, but Shining Armor… He just won’t listen.”
“Well, he does have a good reason to be all angry and stuff, but he still agreed to let Chrysalis see Anon before the trial. That’s something at least. I just, uh, hope that won’t blow up in our faces.”
“I know how you feel. She won’t really talk to anypony, and Fluttershy still won’t say what they talked about. I know it's a secret, but it just seems so weird.”
“Hm, is it? I dunno, Discord and Fluttershy treat Anon like family, so maybe Chrysalis kinda maybe sorta started seeing it that way too?”
“I’ve had that thought too, I saw how she reacted when Anon got hurt, you can’t fake that. She hasn’t tried to escape since we brought her to see Anon about an hour ago either. I think she really is reformed, but she’s just too nervous to admit it.”
“Mmmmm, you may be a little off the mark on that one, Twilight. Don’t get me wrong, she totally cared about Anon, but she still tried to… You know. I mean, I get it, she lost her kingdom and all that, but still.”
“She lost what she knew as family, Spike. But even then, being so close, even before Anon got hurt, she hesitated. I don’t think she was going to hurt me.”
“If you say so. But hey, the first step to any reformation is for others to accept and forgive, right? So, yeah, if you’re really willing to give her another shot, then I’m behind you all the way.”
“Thank you, Spike. By the way, have you seen Discord?”
“Still nothing, even Fluttershy hasn’t seen him. Are you sure it was a good idea not to tell her Anon was waking up today though? It would have really cheered her up.”
“I don’t know… I thought for sure Discord would have shown up and brought her here so they could see Anon together.”
“Uh, you do know they’re not married, right?”
“I-I know, but they both care about Anon and each other, I really thought Discord would have shown up to talk to Fluttershy first. I guess I was wrong…”
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up, Twilight, you just made a wrong guess. It’s not like we can’t go see Fluttershy after Anon wakes up and tell her to go see him, it’ll be fine.”
“I hope so, Spike…. Hey, look, he’s opening his eyes.”
“ Yeah! Can’t wait to say good morning to this crazy guy!”
Ugh…
Fuck man… you felt so drowsy. A complete contrast on feeling fine in the dream world. “Ugh… Where am I? Ogh…”
“Yo, Anon! Have a good sleep?” Said Spike, who was sitting at the end of your hospital bed, legs crossed, as he waves at you with a welcoming smile. "You're in the hospital, bro, already on the road to recovery."
“Good morning, Anon! It’s… It’s so good to see you again.” Twilight said, as tears already began to form in her eyes. It seems she wasn’t ready for your eventual return.
Your vision began to slowly return to you. You were in a hospital room, similar to the one, or maybe is the one, you’ve been in before. There was Spike at the end of the bed, and Twilight at your side and… Where was everyone else? “Twilight? Spike? Ogh… Hey guys, I hope I didn’t worry anypony.”
“Bro, you have no idea.” Spike said with a light chuckle “even though this is all a secret, everypony that does know has been waiting to see you again.”
Secret? Ah, fuck, Luna mentioned that. “Secret, huh? Yeah, Princess Luna visited me in my sleep and told me about it. So, Neighsay doesn’t know anything?”
Twilight shook her head, then gave you a gentle pat. “Anon, don’t worry about that, alright? We have it handled.”
You just lay down, looking straight up with a tired and blank face. “Look, I know you two are happy to see I’m ok. And had Luna not visited me, I’d probably be super excited to see you all too but I know too much already, so… What happened after I got hit?”
Twilight looked to Spike as Spike looked to her, then Twilight looked at you and sighed. “Do you want the good news, or the bad news?”
“Is the good news is that I’m ok, but the bad news is what’s happening with Chrysalis?” You asked, knowing you were right.
“Well, that saves us a long explanation.” Spike said, already guessing to himself that Luna gave you the full details. “But yeah, that’s exactly it.”
“Anon, maybe you should relax before we talk about that. I could get you some tea if you want.” Twilight offered, trying to follow the doctor’s instructions to not stress you out.
“Nope, don’t want tea.” You said as you lowered the blanket just to see you were in a hospital gown. If you had an injury there still, you couldn't see it. “I know about the trial. And I can only guess that the reason you’re here with Spike is because…” Dammit, already? “Ugh, don’t you think you’re rushing things? You couldn’t have waited for me to recover? Maybe let me spend a day with her?”
“I tried, Anon. I really did. Please understand, there was only so much I could do after what happened. I had to make some sort of compromise.” Twilight said, as she began to feel ashamed of herself. “I tried to reason with Shining, but his reasons are as valid as anypony’s, the best I could do was compromise with him. I know, we should have had a happy party, with everypony here. But this was the only way…”
Typical…
It explains why no one else was here. Shining apparently just wanted it to be one and done the moment you woke up. What a fucking asshole. You were in the hospital and all he fucking gave a damn about was putting Chrysalis in chains. Ok, fine, he had very valid reasons to feel the way he did. But goddamn, you expected to be able to mary sue this shit just by nearly dying. “So you couldn’t even bring Aunt Fluttershy?”
Twilight shook her head. “The situation is already stressful as is, and I didn’t want her getting more upset from…” Twilight stopped, unable to say her next words. Which prompted Spike to continue her words.
“Chrysalis going away. I still don’t really get it, but I know what friendship is, and what having to see a friend go is like. Any kind of party isn’t going to make things better right now for anypony.” Spike said.
Twilight nodded “We want to give you some time to yourself before anypony sees you. But, Anon, please understand that I’m on your side on this, and I will do everything I can for her and for you.”
And that’s what struck you so odd. Twilight, who had been so against Chrysalis before, had slowly warmed up to her. Now, at this point, she seemed to feel as strongly about it as you did. “Twilight, can I ask you a question?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes, what is it, Anon?”
“Why? Why do you want to help Chrysalis so much now? I know for Luna, she got a chance to speak to her. But what about you? She nearly ended you and you still want to help her. So, why?” You had to know, from her perspective, what she thought.
“Because…” Twilight stopped for a moment, to think of exactly what she wanted to say to you. She then went silent, looked at you with a gentle smile, and spoke to you in her more motherly tone she does when she comes to realize something when it comes to friendship. “She already has so many friends, and is capable of more. I know, I know, you’re wondering how can I think that. Well, it’s true, isn’t it? There’s you, there’s Diamond, maybe Princess Luna and Fluttershy, and, well, if Applebloom can come out unscathed from visiting her on her own, then the only reason I nearly was ended by her was because she’s hurt deep down inside. And that hurt, Anon, as the Princess of Friendship, is my duty to mend in any way I can. And even more, I think she can be a good friend, if she would just give me the chance.”
You didn’t know whether to call it as typical Twilight behavior or just be relieved she was that far on your side after all the being against you she usually was. You know she was ready to do more when it came to Chrysalis's plan, but damn, after nearly being killed? Then again, Twilight was only ever against you when the thing you were doing or did conflicted with her usual morals. Twilight was never against you out of malice, spite, or anger. Just morals. Either way, it made you feel pretty good to hear her say that. But still, this situation, it fucking sucked, wasn't there any way she could have done better? “So, that’s it? A big old rush job after all that?”
“Anon, come on, bro, Twilight tried her best. I mean, I don’t really wanna say it, but the school is tied to all this and that’s kinda on you too. You just woke up, try to relax a little, ok?” Spike explained, jumping to Twilight’s defense, feeling she really did try her best and what she explained was more than reasonable given the circumstances. “I know it stinks, but you know Twilight and Luna have got your back. We don’t even know about Princess Celestia. And who knows? Maybe even Princess Cadance? Sure, things are happening a little too fast, but you can count on Twilight, she always makes things right.”
Ergh, her own mary sue abilities are pretty damn broken. And dammit, fucking Neighsay.”Yeah, but, isn’t the school doomed anyway if Chrysalis is found guilty? The whole point was to reform her, that was the requirement.”
Twilight cringed at those words, knowing how true that was. “Yeah… And that part is kinda sketchy. But I am working out a plan to at least talk to Princess Celestia and find out what she thinks. Speaking of Chrysalis, Anon… Would you like to talk to her?”
“Now? She’s here?” You asked.
Twilight nodded somberly, but did her best to smile. “Yes, but she’s under watch from Shining and the guards. After Princess Luna told us you’d be waking up, I managed to ask Chrysalis if she’d want to be there.”
“Anon, it was really the only time she said anything to Twilight. Shining only said yes to it because he wanted it done and over with, that’s why things are kinda super speedy right now.” Spike explained after Twilight’s explanation.
You just laid there, silent, looking down. This could be the last time you’d be able to see her…
What was she going to say?
What would you say?
You then looked to Twilight, and nodded. “Yes, I’d like to see her, please.”
Twilight nodded but became a little reluctant when it came to what she had to say next. “Alright… But just know it won’t be between the two of you, there will be two guards present. Is that alright with you?”
You sighed heavily, what a fucking pain Shining is. “Fine…”
“Ok… Come on, Spike.” Twilight went to the door, with Spike following her. When the door was open, you caught a glimpse of Shining Armor, who seemed to have been doing his best to listen in on the conversation. Or he was just there waiting for Twilight. You locked eyes with him, and for a moment, you swore you saw some semblance of empathy. Was it to you? The situation? Who knows, the door closed leaving you to your thoughts for a few moments before it opened again, with two guards of standard stallion fare stepping in as Chrysalis followed behind.
But she was in a disguise, obviously she had to be, given the place.
It was a disguise you were all too familiar with. A disguise, that given your situation, seemed to fit.
Nymous…
Chrysalis stepped towards you, looking back at the guards with a quick dark glare that seemed to have spooked them, but nothing more. When she walked to your side, however, she suddenly became soft both in look, and in tone. “Anon,..”
Chrysalis was silent for a moment, looking deep into your eyes, then giving you a tap on the head. “You’re not broken, that’s good, I suppose.”
“Chrysalis… Come on now, do you know how happy I am to see you right now?” You tell her, suddenly feeling more and more pained in your heart. To know she could possibly be gone after all this. You really just wanted to talk to her, like, like… She was family.
“I can taste it.” Chrysalis commented, before letting out a sigh. “I am happy to know you’re alright. But I know you know that already, there’s no way that princess didn’t share our little chat with you, you were way too ready to see me.” Chrysalis then sighed, and sat down on the floor as she looked at you. “You could have dodged that spike, your reflexes are better than that.”
“Chrysalis…” You slowly try to get out of bed, but the moment you do, you do feel some pain in your chest. The moment you winced in pain, you suddenly felt a magical force keeping you in bed. Chrysalis’s horn was suddenly glowing, as she looked at you with a hard stare. “Huh?”
“Always an idiot. Stay in bed, I don’t want to hear you whining about anything.” Chrysalis told you.
“O-okay, but… Chrysalis, I… The tria-” But she cuts you off in a sharp tone.
“I know! And I don’t care. Shining Armor is a sentimental fool. Or he just can’t get over me. He’s more obsessed with me than he is with his own wife.” Chrysalis said, as she suddenly gave you a grin. But you just sat there, blankly staring, which made her roll her eyes. “It was a joke, Anon.”
“Uh, I… Er.” Christ, the tonal shift was wild here. Was she just being difficult but also not trying to be? “I, I mean, it’s funny. It's just… Y’know, I don’t know.”
Chrysalis huffed, brought her hoof to her forehead and began to rub as she huffed yet again. “Fine, fine… I get it, this could be our last time together, and…” Chrysalis looked up to the ceiling, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. “I missed you, Anon, I was worried about you. And I wanted to apologize for being generally mean to you and using you when you were at your most spineless.”
Wut?
You just sat at your bed, blinking, and staring blankly again.
Chrysalis began to shout at you angrily. “Why are you just sitting there staring at me? Don’t you know how to react to anything prope-Guh?” She was too into her own anger to even catch you as you just sprung out of bed to hug and nuzzle into her. She actually did it, she apologized, without being drunk or faking it. “What are you doing!? Didn’t I just tell you not to get out of bed!”
“I don’t care! Chrysalis, I’ve missed you, ok? Even if it didn’t feel like it was a long time, I’ve missed you, I’m scared for you, I… I just don’t want you to leave.” You started to sob into her false fur, dammit! She was never going to get out, she was done for! Goddammit! She was reformed! And they’d never see it that way.
Chrysalis said nothing, you didn’t know if she looked disgusted or displeased anymore. But then, you felt it, her hoof gently going along your back, stroking it. “Anon… Why do you do this to me? Why… Do I do this to myself? I don’t know.” She suddenly feels you hugging her tighter, still sobbing, she didn’t even know if you were paying attention. “Anon…” Chrysalis uses her magic to gently pull you away. You just look up at her, with big sad eyes, whimpering. “Ugh, Anon, you’re not an actual child, you know that right?”
“I-I know, but… Chrysalis, Do you know how much I care about you? Diamond? I just, I just feel like…” You hang your head down. You felt terrible about what you were going to say. But at this point, if she kept this up then… “At this point, I… It just feels like you’re always thinking about how to get revenge. How to be evil. I don’t know, I just… Chrysalis, what do you care about more? Me? Or revenge?”
“That’s a stupid question, it’s reve-” But Chrysalis stopped herself right there when she saw that even the start of that answer, in such an arrogant tone, was heavily upsetting to you. She actually stopped, and had to think about it. “Well, to be honest… I guess I can say revenge hasn’t gotten me anywhere like it used to back in the day. I… Suppose it’s been more fun with you and little Diamond than plotting and scheming. Knowing in the back of my mind that, somehow, Twilight Sparkle is invincible for reasons even I don’t understand. Deus ex Machina, I think that’s what your clone said…'' Chrysalis, when she looked back down at you while she rambled, had expected you to calm down, but you still looked so upset. “Fine! You want me to say it?! I care about you! Like a brother! I would end the life of anypony who hurt you, or little Diamond, or Scrappy, and anypony else who somehow managed to fit in my tiny black heart! There! Will you stop crying now! I swear, it’s like dealing with an actual child and-” But she’s stopped when she feels you hug onto her again. “Ugh… It was easier being the mother of more obedient children, I swear.”
“I knew it! I knew you cared! Ever since you first saved my life, I always knew it! I care about you too! Diamond does too! And, come on! I know you can get through that trial! All you have to do is show that idiot Shining that you reformed! Because you have, you care! I heard you talked to Fluttershy! And I know, I just know, it had to have gone well!” Yes, finally! Yes, full fucking confirmation at the deepest level. She really did it! She reformed!
“Gah!” Chrysalis said in genuine surprise. “Because of course that purple nitwit would tell you about that!” Unaware of Luna saying anything about it.
“Well, what happened then?! What did you two talk about? You gotta tell me, come on!” You started to hop around excitingly, ignoring your pain and tiredness. You suddenly felt a magic grip grab onto you and gently force you back onto bed. “Awww, come on, you gotta tell me!”
“I don’t have to tell you anything.” Chrysalis said as she forced the blanket onto you. “Maybe you should go back to sleep.”
“But I was told it went really really well.” You retort back to her.
“What?! Who told you that?! How do you know that much?!” Chrysalis said, further surprised.
You just grinned at her. “I didn’t, actually. But now I do, since you just told me it did.”
“I didn’t exa- I… Ogh.” Chrysalis just went stoic as her eyes peered at you. “How am I falling for that so easily?”
“Well, are you going to tell me what you both talked about?” Come on, come on!
“No... I doubt we have time for that anyway” Chrysalis replied, her eyes shifting away from you in embarrassment.
“Did it really go well, at least?” You asked, getting more excited.
“Ye-Anon! What did I say about acting like a foal?” Chrysalis said with a growl.
Mnnn… “Fine... Chrysalis, I… Wish we could watch one more movie together, y’know? Just… I just… Chrysalis, you don’t… You don’t want revenge still? On Celestia I mean.”
“At this point, it doesn’t matter. I’ve thought long and hard on it, Anon. I swear, Equestria doesn’t seem to have a place for beings like me anymore. Honestly, if given the chance, I’d do things a little differently.” Chrysalis said as she peered at the window with a long sigh.
“What do you mean? Like, being good and stuff?” You asked, curious.
“Not exactly. Let’s just say that perhaps being pure evil isn’t as great as I thought it’d be. Having watched all the films I’ve seen, knowing you and little Diamond the way I do, it has made me wonder if there’s another way to live. Not evil, but also not having to conform to such terrible notions these ponies seem to hold dear.” Chrysalis explained.
“Like… an anti-hero? Or an antagonistic protagonist?” So then, that was it, true progress. With the best results anyone could have asked for.
“Yes, something like that. My dreams have changed recently, Anon. No longer do I care about revenge, it just doesn’t suit me anymore. Instead, maybe being a forest hermit can be my thing, if you supply the magic, of course. We can hang out, watch movies together…” Chrysalis then eyes you with a hard stare. “And don’t say with somepony other than who I care about, that would have to be at least a ‘Maybe, but probably not’ sort of thing. Anyway, my children are alive, they're fine, stupid, but fine. So, in retrospect, my forest manor is much better than that dank hive.” Chrysalis then looks to you with a gentle grin. “Anon, if I had a second chance, I would love to be able to spend it as a better changeling. Not better as in as a pony, but under my own terms. Which brings me to my next question. Would that be something you’d want? Would we be able to… Compromise on at least that? Technically, we both win the game we’ve played for so long, or perhaps you win, since you’d no longer have to worry about me ending anypony… Just perhaps harassing them once in a while… As long as they don’t bother me in my home.”
“Chrysalis…” Holy shit, FINALLY! OHHH SHIT! YOU WIN! IT’S OVER! CHRYSALIS IS REFORMED! “I would be totally ok with that. In fact, hearing that, I don’t even think you need that damn trial. You’re gonna do fine!” You said, with optimistic hope.
“Glad you agree… NOW!” Chrysalis shouted towards the guards.
Wut?
Suddenly, as one of the guards became ready to arrest her, the other smacked that guard in the head, knocking him out cold. “My queen, it is done!” The other guard said with a salute as he panted like a dog.
…Wut?
“Captain Scrappy, will you… Just stop doing that? You’re not a dog, you’re a changeling.” Chrysalis said with an eye roll towards the standing guard.
“I am a changeling captain dog Apple!” He said, with his usual energetic stupidity.
Chrysalis just shook her head and sighed. “Fine, whatever, good work captain, you… You did well.”
The guard saluted again “My queen, I am happy to hear that, and ask for belly rubs!”
Chrysalis just did her best to keep her patience, something she was doing well despite Scrappy’s dogginess. “Perhaps later. Right now, I need you to...” She let out another heavy groan. “...Play dead.”
“My queen, your will is my… Thingy.” Scrappy said as he saluted one more time, before falling over without delay, looking dead with his tongue sticking out.
WUT?!
“Ah, well, that’s done. Goodbye, Anon.” Chrysalis said as she began to open the window to escape.
WUT?!
“Chrysalis! Chrysalis, what are you doing?! How did… No, you can’t! You can’t do this again! I won’t let you!” But as you tried to put your horn on, you felt Chrysalis’s magical grip keep you from moving.
Chrysalis sighed and shook her head at you. “What are you babbling about? I told you I’m done with revenge, I’m not seeking to end anypony anymore. Get a grip, I’m just going home”
“You seriously can’t expect me to believe that. Chrysalis! Dammit, I’m not falling for this again! I’m sorry, but I just won’t!” You said as you tried to break free from her magic.
“Anon, I’m not lying to you, you imbecile. I have no intention in hurting anypony anymore.” Chrysalis stated as she kept her grip strong.
“Why? Why do you think that now? Even if I believe it, they won’t! This won’t look good, Chrysalis” You say, trying to warn her.
“Why do you think? What do you think I’ve been thinking about this whole time? Have you not paid attention this entire time? It’s you, you fool! I nearly ended you by proxy. I…” Chrysalis sighed, and her tone became softer as she spoke. “I had a lot of time to think. Not only about you, but about other things. Things like Twilight Sparkle being invincible. Impervious to true defeat. At this point, I simply think it can’t be done, and it makes me wonder what would happen if I persisted.” Chrysalis looks at her own body for a second and gags. “A skin of stone just wouldn’t do it for a girl like me. But I digress, there is something else that made me come to this decision…”
Was she… Was she really telling the truth this time? “W-what is it?”
“What else, your ‘aunt’, or at least a point she made to me. Everything I’ve done for the sake of my revenge has yielded worse and worse results, and that I was reaching a threshold in which you and even Little Diamond wouldn't be able to tolerate. I suppose she made me realize that there was no winning our little game the way I’ve done things, and to persist would make me lose more than I realize. But, taking a more neutral position? I’d be able to do what I wish as long as I don’t make anypony too angry. Then again, the way Shining Armor keeps reacting, I think I could at least get used to that. He’s so obsessed with me that I have to wonder if he just wants to take me to bed like you always wanted to do. I’m sure you noticed how thick the tension is between us.” Chrysalis said with an evil snicker.
WUT?!
“S-so, Fluttershy? She convinced you? Really? I-” But Chrysalis cuts you off before you could finish your words.
“No, don’t even think it. I had already decided to call it quits, she just put things a little more into perspective for me. And, more importantly, she orchestrated this escape.” Chrysalis said and… WHAT?!
WUT?!
“No, what?! There’s no way!” There’s no goddamn way that’s possible, that has to be a lie.
Chrysalis laughed at your disbelief. “Oh, but she did. She’s the one who snuck my dear captain into the library for me so I could escape. Of course, this was under a certain condition.” Chrysalis groaned at the mere thought of it, but then she looked at you with a tinge of hostility. “I’ve heard the full details on you being some stupid chancellor’s little gopher. It almost feels like you’ve been cheating on me, Anon.”
“N-Neighsay? I’ve mentioned him to you before.” What was this? Where was she getting at? What did Fluttershy tell her?
“You did, but not to the degree of being his full on little spy to gain benefits for yourself and little Diamond. I’m hurt, you doing all these errands for him but complaining about whenever you do something for me. How could you?” Chrysalis said with a fake little pout.
“Ugh, Chrysalis, come on. I don’t even like the guy, and at this point I have no choice. I have to do what he says or else-” But Chrysalis once again cuts you off, finishing your words.
“He’ll close the school down, take little Diamond’s future benefits away, and I wouldn’t even know what he’d do to you, nothing good I’d expect. Well, lucky for you, I have decided to help you out on this by going with Twilight to see him, to show him what a good little bug I am.” Chrysalis said as she made adorable and almost sexy eyes at you, shaking her little rear.
Wut?
“...Seriously? No, come on, Chrysalis. That’s way too obvious, do you really want to still hurt Twilight? Please, no, it isn’t worth it.” You knew she wasn’t serious. Even if she cared about you deeply, you knew how revenge oriented she was.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes at you, and became annoyed with you. “I actually mean it, you idiot! I have nothing more to gain from my old plans, and I’m not going to let some old worthless bureaucrat have his way with you. That’s what I’m here for. Now will you just trust me? Don’t make me say please, I’m not going that far this time.”
“But what about you escaping? That’s going to piss Shining the hell off.” You started to slowly believe her. She could have used Fluttershy to make her escape, but this could all be another con. But then, what if it isn’t? The one thing you had to consider is Chrysalis’s care for you, something you knew exists. If she knew Neighsay was going to fuck you over, then maybe… She really was telling the truth. "He'd hurt you, no matter how well meaning you are."
“You believe me then?” Chrysalis asked.
You nodded “Yes, I do. And I don’t want Shining hurting you in any way, but I don’t know what to do. He’s just, man, he’s going to be super pissed off.”
Chrysalis cackled at that. “I know, I’ll probably be able to taste it on my way to the forest. But calming him down and convincing Twilight Sparkle is on you. That Flutterpony of yours knows of my escape, and Twilight is, as I said, invincible, so I suspect she’d be able to calm her stupid brother down while she herself should realize she has as much to gain as you do from all this. I know you can do it, Anon, I believe in you. And if guards show up at my home instead, I’ll make sure to neuter you for your failure. How does that sound?”
Ohhh, neuter? Ogh, she had been watching too many of those darker movies, you know it. You lifted your blanket and looked at your crotch, then back at her with a gulp. “Y-yeah, I got it. B-but…” There was, unfortunately, one problem with her plan. “Chrysalis, there’s something you have to know.”
“Hm? What is it?” Chrysalis asked.
“Er, Neighsay doesn’t exactly trust Twilight, like, at all. And he sorta made this bet thing with Celestia, so…” Oh, you could already see Chrysalis fuming.
“Do not tell me you expect me to go with her to see him. Her?! Of all ponies?! What kind of sick joke is that?!” Chrysalis said, utterly displeased with that notion.
“I’m serious, it has to be with Celestia. If you really mean everything you said, then you have to go with her, there’s no other way.” You try to explain to her. It had to be Celestia. Her school and reputation was also on the line, and the deal was made with her, after all.
“I’d rather rot in Tartarus! What makes you think I’d ever agree to that?!” Chrysalis barked at you.
You stopped for a moment, and thought about it. Agree to it? Well, if everything she had told you was true, if she meant all of it, then... “Because, I’m asking you to, as your best friend. As your sibling. Forget about Twilight’s school. If you really care as much as I hope you do, as much as you’ve been saying, as much as I witnessed, then for the sake of me and Diamond, you’ll do it. Please, I’m asking you, for once, for me, to do it. Every time, Chrysalis, you always try to dodge me on stuff like this. So please… For me?” You say, giving her big old cute eyes.
“Fuck, no… Hell.. No… no… NO! Ngh, no! Egh… mnnn…” She tried to hold her ground, but the more she thought about it, the more she actually began to feel a creeping guilt on going back on her word to help you. “...I want my own Queenmobile. The same kind that man bat rides, but better.”
Wut?
Manbat? “You mean, Batman?”
“Yes, the crazy man who threw the clown off the bell tower, that man.” Chrysalis stated.
“I… Didn’t know you liked Batman.” Huh…
“I don’t, the film wasn’t very good. But that car, I want it. I want you to convert my own ride into my own personalized Queenmobile, with green highlights, flourishing wings, a more buglike exterior, and green flames from that rear exhaust. We can talk weapons later, I just want it. And do you want to know why, Anon? Because it fits me, it shows those around me that I am something to be feared. If I have to deal with Celestia, then you and I are going to drive up to Canterlot, tear up her streets, and park right in front of her castle. I want her to gawk in stupefied awe at my pure brilliance and majesty. I want to tell her to ‘hop in, bitch’ as she has no choice but to feel the splendor of my terrifying power in wheeled form. Do this for me right now, and I’ll deal with it.” Chrysalis said, sounding pretty damn dark and serious about it.
“Okay then, er…” Wow, so… She was really gonna do it then. That’s… You could do that. If she was going to go that far out of the way for you, to save you, Diamond, and Twilight. Then, yeah, you can do that. You take your horn and plop it on your head, and think really hard as a bolt of magic shoots out the window and heads towards the forest. “There, I-I think that should do it.”
“Good. Now I must be off before Shining realizes something went wrong.” Chrysalis said as she began to head out the window.
“Wait!” You called out to her.
“Ngh, what is it now?!” Chrysalis barked at you “I don’t have any time to waste.”
“Can I have a goodbye hug?” You said, giving her those eyes again.
She narrowed her eyes at you, speaking with an annoyed and low tone. “Are you seriously risking everything because you want a hug?”
“Yes. Because I love you, Chrysalis, as a brother.” You tell her, sounding as cute and silly as possible. “You’re my bwig swister!”
Chrysalis just continued to stare at you, silently. But you would not relent, pointing at the door to signify that someone could come through at any moment. You had to have this, you just wanted to see her be genuinely affectionate with no strings attached. Chrysalis, still staring at you, slowly walked over to your side and lowered her neck so you could hug it. “Be quick.”
Oh… Oh yes, you were going to take advantage of this. You reach up and hug onto her as affectionately as possible, nuzzling and rubbing your cheek along hers.
“...Maybe Tartarus wouldn’t be so… Ugh, can you stop? Just… ngh!” Chrysalis gently but quickly pulled you away with her magic, and plopped you onto the bed. “There, it’s done.”
You giggled at her. “I think you liked it, you let me hang there a little more than you ever would have before.”
“Bah, I only did it to squeeze out a bit of a meal out of you. Ergh, why am I still even here. I’m leaving!” Chrysalis said, stomping towards the window as she began to climb out, turning into a rat.
But then you called out to her again. “Wait!”
Chrysalis turned back at you with big beady eyes. “What now?!”
“I-I just wanted to say goodbye, and that I’ll see you soon.” You said, in a falsely meek voice, knowing you had her.
Chrysalis once again paused, tried to leave, but stopped herself as she looked back at you with a sigh. “Whatever, goodbye, see you. And stay in bed! Ugh… No, just… I’m leaving.” And with that, she scurried off, scaling down the hospital outer walls.
Haha! You started to roll left and right in your bed. It happened! She is reformed! And she’s actually going through with the favor! She cares! She loves you! And you love her! You really were practically siblings now! Yes! It was going to be a new future! Er, you kinda still had to calm the situation down to get to that future… But… Woo!
“Nehehheeee…” cackled a low and evil voice.
Wut?
“Hello? Scrappy?” Shit, was that him? Why was he cackling?
“Nehehehehehe…” The guard, the guard that was knocked out was cackling as he slowly stood up. And his eyes, they were glowing red.
W-what the? You then shifted your eyes to Scrappy, who’s voice, it changed as well, and he was cackling just the same as his eyes turned red.
“What in the...?!” Shit! What in the fuck was this?!
They both stood up, laughing at you, and then… They began to melt into each other. Turning larger, more fearsome.
“Nope! Fuck whatever this is!” You grabbed your horn and placed it on your head once more but… It just plopped off your head. You tried again, and it didn’t work. WHAT?! WHAT ABOUT YOUR TWO OTHER CHARGES?! “Dammit?! What the?! HELP! HELP! TWILIGHT!”
“Nopony can help you now, Anon” said a dark creepy voice.
S-shit. Dark Anon?! Was it him!? Oh god, he came to kill you, and you couldn’t escape! How did he survive?! Did he use all this time to regenerate?!
You began to cower as the melted mold twisted and turned, transforming into a disfigured beast. A disfigured beast that was becoming all too familiar.
After a while, the one who had been missing had finally returned, looking at you with a cool and dark grin. “Hello there, Anon. Did you miss me?”
“Discord?! Discord! Goddammit!” You shouted angrily at him. Because, holy shit, it couldn’t be, it just can’t! “What the hell are you doing?!”
“Draconequus things, things I usually do, things like that… Things.” Discord said as he leaned his head on his paw while giving you a soft grin. “How have you not gotten used to my entrances by now? Then again, why am I complaining? It’s always a treat to see you so perplexed.”
Your eye twitched. How the fuck? No, never mind, it’s him, it’s Discord, he just never fucking gets the goddamn gravity of the situation. “You know what I fucking mean, what the hell are you doing here? As in, pretending to be a guard and Scrappy?! The fuck is all that about?”
“Ah, now your reaction makes a little more sense.” Discord said as he snapped his talons, a trophy of himself appearing in his arms as he showed it off to you. “Isn’t it beautiful? A gift for myself for pulling off the greatest reformation in Equestrian history.”
Reformation? “The fuck does that mean, Discord? What do you mean by the greatest… Refor… Mation?” Oh no.... “Discord… Discord, please fucking tell me you had nothing to do with that Dark Anon shit. Please, please tell me you weren’t Dark Anon.”
“Oh heavens no.” Discord said, scoffing at the thought of it. “I had nothing to do with that.”
You shifted your eyes left and right, then went into deep thought. What the fuck was he talking about then? What the hell did he even want? Was he having his own adventure while he was away? “Then, and I swear to god I’m going to regret asking, what the five fucks are you talking about? Who did you reform?”
“Ah, I’m so glad you asked, Anon, as I am prepared to illustrate!” Discord said as he snapped in a white board out of nowhere, and began to draw crude drawings of you, Twilight, Celestia, and Luna while he made beautiful drawings of both him and Fluttershy. “See, this is Celestia and Luna here, and they get, say, half a point each for reforming some wimpy bug. Next comes Twilight, with her angry sharp teeth right here representing her absurd mood swings. See, she reformed Luna and the Pony of Shadows, and uhhhh yeah, so she gets, I’d say, two, maybe three points? Then here you are with five points despite only reforming Twilight Two Point Oh. But, you know, you’re great so you deserve it. Then here’s Fluttershy, who of course gets five hundred points for reforming me, given how nearly impossible that was. But then, there’s me, with…” And Discord draws an infinite symbol next to his image. “Unlimited points for reforming Chryssi, something thought to be completely impossible. Impressive, don’t you think?”
…
…
…
WUT?!
“What in the fucking?! What?! You just said you weren't Dark Anon! You… You knew! You fucking knew the whole goddamn time, didn’t you?! What the fuck, Discord?! Explain yourself, now!” Oh, hell no, you were fucking pissed. You could already guess no sound was going through the door, so it meant Discord wanted this to be between the both of you. But the reason being? You had no fucking clue, you had no idea what the hell he was talking about.
“And I wasn’t, Anon. Even I couldn’t pull off that kind of performance. However, I was a certain wooden root.” Discord said as he did a slow spin, a dark trenchcoat adorned on his body and fedora appearing on his head as he turned around, aiming his talons at you like a gun. “Pow!” He exclaimed, as fireworks burst from the tip of his pointing claw.
“What are you saying then?” What the hell was going on? What was he on about? “Did you shoot me?! Did… That was you?!”
Discord nodded. “Of course it was. But you seem to be forgetting something in all this.” Discord said as he shook his head at you, feeling ashamed of you. “Now, Anon, I’m truly disappointed in you. I know you had the answer all this time, but you just couldn’t make it work. Difficult, I know, but luckily for you, I have no limits in what I can do. All I had to do was make Gertrude’s prophecy a reality and, well, that’s it really. Surely you didn’t forget about that, right?”
Gertrude’s prophecy? That’s right, even you had considered it once before, but never in such a grandiose way. She, the Chrysalis of that alternate future, had lost her changeling children completely, which had, among other things, made her more maternal to the orphans that were forced to labor under Flim and Flam. “So, you shot me to make Chrysalis think I was dying? You? You thought of that yourself?”
Discord takes a bow as he tosses the trophy behind him into a suddenly appearing pile of other trophies. “Brilliant, if I do say so myself.”
Holy shit… It… Kinda was. You started to calm down more and more as you began to realize what Discord just did for you. “I mean… Yeah, fuck. So I never even really had a chance of dying after all. But who else knows? And how did you manage to trick Chrysalis into thinking you were Scrappy?”
“Ah, worried about others ruining all that progress? Fret not, Anon, only you and I know. Well, so does Scrappy. If you want the answer to that one, well, I swallowed my pride and became his ‘subordinate’ for awhile, offering to trade places with him under the guarantee that Chryssi would have her complete freedom. He was skeptical at first, but the promise of him being able to spend time with her and Applebloom together convinced him.” Discord said, grinning as he shrugged. “I’m just so full of friendship today that it’d blow even Twilight’s mind”
Goddamn, so… He thought of everything. You had to admit, you were a bit jealous all of a sudden, considering he sniped your win. But then again, Chrysalis was reformed, and even Discord seemed to be willing to protect that. He doesn’t even like her, and he took such amazing steps to make sure everything worked out. “Discord.. Yo, that was… Thanks, I mean that. I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Oh, you needn’t say anything, Anon. I know how great I am, as do you.” Discord then starts to pose like a muscleman, despite having no muscles visible. “Just keep on doting, you know you want to.”
You chuckle, of course he’d also have to rub it in. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Man, and to think I was gonna chew you out. Though, there is one thing that confuses me.”
“What’s that, Anon?” Discord asked as he continued to pose.
“So, you pretty much knew the whole time, right? How did you know when to shoot me? How did you know the opportunity would come up? I mean, you made it so damn believable that even I wasn’t even able to guess why that root even shot at me. It feels like you knew everything would play out just right.” It was like he could read the future, and knew when to shoot you. Like he knew Chrysalis, at the height of her revenge, would stop her attack.
Discord rubbed his head in confusion as to what you could have meant, until he snapped his paws in understanding. “Ah! Well, that’s the thing, I didn’t.”
Wut?
“So, then, what? You had to have known. Come on, Discord, don’t mess with me, okay? I really want to know how you managed to put it all together.” Like, seriously, however he did it, it must have required some serious thought and planning.
Discord shrugged “No planning whatsoever, Anon, I promise.” He says as a lab coat and round reading glasses appear on himself. “In fact, reforming Chryssi hadn’t even crossed my mind at the time. See, I was actually conducting the ultimate experiment.”
Ultimate experiment? “Uh, what experiment was that?”
Discord shrugged once again. “Isn’t it obvious? Chryssi did me a great service in creating an evil you filled to the brim with my gift you so declined. The experiment itself is actually quite simple. See what’s better, an Anon with my gift or an Anon without it. No holds barred, anything goes.” Discord then begins to clap in applause for you. “And I have to say, you were right. Sure you had no magic, got demolished, and required your friends. But here you are, still standing… Er, laying down.”
Your eye twitched. “What?”
“Need I repeat myself? You proved me wrong, Anon. I’m sorry that besting me doesn’t come to you often, but you should be-” But suddenly Discord reels back when you start shouting at him in absolute rage.
“You motherfucker! You used me! Again! You had no plans to help me at all! Do you realize ponies could have died?! That Spike could have died?! Twilight?! You had no fucking intention in doing anything for me or Chrysalis, you fucker!” You said, standing up as you bark at him from your bed.
“Oh, not this time, sonny boy. I admit my experiment went a little overboard, but you can’t honestly think I was going to allow any casualties.” Discord said, wrapping his arms around themselves as he looked at you with a stoic expression, raising an eyebrow.
“Diamond almost got raped, you assfuck!” You shouted.
Discord rolled his eyes at you. “Again, it was never going to go that far… Possibly. Ahrm, the important thing to take away here is-” But once again, you cut him off.
“No, fuck you! I was worried about you, Fluttershy was worried. Discord, we’re supposed to be chaos buddies! But you just keep fucking using me and you just don’t give a shit about it!” You growled, filled with fury.
Discord sighed as he hunched backwards. “You should be used to that by now, Anon. You’re the only one I can still do that to without any kind of consequence.”
“Discord. You know what? Fuck this, I’m going to tell Fluttershy everything. You hear me? I’m done with this. I’mMPPH!” Suddenly you find yourself in a straitjacket and gag as you fall over on the bed. You immediately try to break out, but it wasn’t working at all.
“For once, I’m not going to feel bad over this.” Discord said as he waved his claw, raising you into the air, eye level to him. “Again, you should be used to this by now, Anon. The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know that, right? Either way, you shouldn’t be so upset as to threaten me like that. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, I did you a colossal favor with Chryssi, and you’re just going to have to accept that.”
You just silently stared at him with dagger filled eyes as your only response.
“Fine, I suppose you can be a little upset, as there was a chance I wouldn’t have been able to do anything for you at all. But know this, Anon. You may think I don’t care, but that couldn’t be further from the truth! Just because I did something anypony who truly knows me could see coming, that being the experiment, you also have to consider that for you and Chryssi, I could have done a million other things to stop her when she attacked Twilight. But I didn’t, I did the one thing that would help you in the long run, help her, and even help Twilight.” Discord said as he shook his arms about. “Twilight, Anon! Twilight! And I can’t even gloat to her about it because it has to be kept a secret! Do you understand now?”
Dammit, you can’t let him smooth talk you this time. And yet, it fucking made sense. Discord does whatever he wants because he’s Discord, but he could have just fucked you or Chrysalis over if he really didn’t care. You just stare at him, muffling some noises as you raise an eyebrow in skepticism.
“Okay, okay, fine, I’m sorry for the whole experiment thing. But I do want to let you know that my help isn’t over yet. We still need to make sure Shining Armor doesn’t go on a witch hunt. And if you’re willing to play along a little longer, then I promise everything will be okay. How does that sound?” Discord asks you, almost with apologetic and begging eyes.
You tilt your head up, trying to spit out the ball gag in indication that you wanted to answer him.
Discord giggled in embarrassment. “Oh, right. Sorry about that.” Discord snapped his talons as you appeared back on the bed, in your hospital gown, ungagged.
“Discord…” You said, just laying there, exhausted with him.
“Yes?” Discord said, with some soft caution in his voice.
“You’re a real fucking asshole. But, if you’re really telling the truth, then… Fine, I forgive you.” You said with a huff. If it’s one thing you knew about Discord, it was when he really wanted to help you with something, he did it pretty damn well for the most part. If he can really get Shining Armor off Chrysalis’s back, then. Hell man, he fucking used you again, and of course he gets away with it because… Well, just, because it’s him. Fucking hell, it was hard to justify it all, but…
Dammit, it hurts just to think about it. You should be fucking pissed, you really should, you want to tell him off so badly. But goddamn man, why did it have to be him? He needs to be chaotic to even live, goddammit. Fucking hell. Fine, fine...
“Annnnd…? I do believe you owe me some gratitude as well.” Discord said, earnestly waiting for your reply.
“Tch, if you can really make this happen, then I’ll do whatever you want, once, for free.” If he can really do it, then that would more than absolve him, as it would mean all that work, all that time, all of it worth it.
“Good to hear, because we’re homeless right now and I need you to talk to Jimmy and try to get the house back.” Discord said with a sheepish smile.
Wut?
“How in the fucking hell did that happen?! You’re fucking Discord, how did he get control of the house?!” How?! Just, how?!
“Ah, you see, I made a wager with him to see who’d win. You or Dark Anon, and, well…” Discord stopped his words, feeling a bit too embarrassed.
Your eye twitched again. “Are you fucking telling me you bet against me?”
Discord shrugged with a very embarrassed chuckle. “Ahhhaha, haaaaaaa. To put it simply? Yes. I thought it was an easy bet given the infusion of the Everfree’s power. I really bet on the wrong pony on this one, eh?”
You just stared at him, long and hard, silently.
“So, is that a no? I’d do it myself, but I’m not one to be called a sore loser. So, please?” Discord said, giving you big adorable eyes as he shrunk himself to look cuter.
Good god… “Fine… Whatever, I’m not even surprised anymore. So, how are we going to convince Shining Armor then?”
“Ah, yes, about that.” Discord split into the two guards once more, the one on the right speaking to you as the other munched on his spear. “Just like with our dear Chryssi, it will require something a little extreme. For this, however, I will need your full permission to do what I’m going to do. Do I have that?”
What was ‘that’? The hell kind of extreme did he mean? “What are you going to do?”
“Can’t tell you, and you must act like you know nothing about it. Trust me, Anon, it’s nothing I can’t fix, but it is required. And mostly, it needs to be a surprise. I’m asking for your permission because, well, we’re a team. And we need to play our parts to get this done. So, are you game?” Discord said as he gave you a dark grin.
...Yeah. If it could finally fix this mess, protect Chrysalis, and even save the school… Then fine.
You waited, still balancing your anger towards Discord versus the help he was possibly bringing you. You had no idea what he meant by extreme, but it couldn’t be too bad. Whatever he was going to do, given he turned into the guards again, it would most likely involve Shining Armor. Fine, that’s good actually, all you had to do was change his mind and it was over.
Eventually, the door to your room burst open. Shining, frantic from whatever he was told, looked towards your open window, wide eyed, then looked to you with fearful eyes. “Anon, you didn’t. Bro, you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.”
Oof, okay, here we go. Discord must have told him that either she escaped or she left or something.
“You mean Chrysalis? Yeah, I let her go. Why?” Just go along with it for now, see what he’s been told by Discord and work from there.
“Why?! Why?!” Shining Armor almost looked crazed as he walked over to you, sweat coming from every pore of his body. “You know exactly why! How my guards, and you, can somehow think that she’s somehow reformed from just talking to you, after what she did, is crazy! You can’t expect me to believe everything is okay after she tried to end my sister. And now she wants to see Celestia?!”
You nod, keeping your patience, trying to figure out what Discord had planned. “Yeah, both schools are on the line. You know that right? The whole thing with Neighsay?”
Shining was twitching, trying to hold in all the rage he was feeling right now. “I do know that! But, Anon, bro? I don’t even know what to do about that! Because Chrysalis is not getting anywhere near Princess Celestia, and definitely not anywhere near Twilight. She tricked you, Anon, just like she always does. Look, maybe I can still catch her. Where did she go? She had to have told you.”
You shake your head towards Shining Armor, standing firm on your belief. “Shining, no, come on. I promise you, it’s over. Why do you think she waited to see me at all? She could have escaped at any time, but she wanted to see me to tell me she’s done being evil. Every time she concocts a new plan, dude, she always ends up losing something. Her home, her children, her kingdom, me. She’s done with it. She’s even willing to help if it means just being left alone from now on.”
Shining scoffs at that with an unsteady laugh. “Oh my Celestia, Anon. Come on! That’s horsefeathers! She lied to you. She has no reason to help anypony. She never helps anypony. She uses them, just like she’s used me, and used you. Tell me where she is, Anon, or else I’ll have to arrest you for treason. Don’t make me do that.”
Discord, come on, whatever you have, it better be good because so far things are getting dicey. “You can’t do that! You have no proof she’s still evil!”
“And you don’t have any proof that she’s reformed! Now tell me where she is! Now!” Shining demanded, stomping his hoof down. He snorted hot air from his nostrils, he was reaching his boiling point.
“Shining, the schools are on the line, and the trial isn’t going to save them. If you don’t even give it a chance, Celestia and your sister’s reputation will be destroyed. Do you want that?” He had to have known that. That would ruin them both if something like this ever even came close to public.
“Last chance, Anon! Tell me now, or you’re coming with me after you’re healed.” Shining threatened, ignoring your words.
“Shining, don’t!” You shouted back at him.
“THEN HAVE IT YOUR WAY!” Shining said in a bombastically threatening tone. He was red with fury, and as he stomped up to you to try to threaten you once more…
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You screamed out in terrible pain as your leg suddenly snapped like a twig. Your bone went right through the side of your leg as small jets of blood splurted out from the sudden wound. Blood fell onto your bed, onto the sides, and some even hitting Shining’s face. Shining was frozen in shock as you screamed in absolute agony.
“W-what?” Shining just stared, looking traumatized, as you held on to your leg screaming. He dabbed his hoof on the blood on his cheek and brought it up to gaze at it. He suddenly looked horrified, yet confused, as to what could have caused this.
“Shining!” Twilight shouted as she ran into the room from the doorway. She quickly looked at you, then to Shining as her brow furrowed angrily. “S-Shining?! Shining! How… How could you?!”
“What?! Twily, what?! No, wait, I didn’t do this! I swear!” Shining said as he backed off defensively, feeling he was being accused without good reason.
“Hold on, Anon!” Twilight said, her horn glowing bright as she froze you with her stasis spell. You couldn’t move an inch, and honestly, with your leg stuck like this and not moving around, it only hurt a lot instead of a fuckload. You began to whine, unable to twitch, but your leg feeling better only slightly, as if it was in a cast. Twilight then looked to Shining, angry, fuming even, at the fact Shining would hurt you in such a way. “Shining, why?! How could you do this?!”
“Twily! I swear, I didn’t do it! I don’t know how it happened!” Shining said in his defense.
Twilight raised her hoof, and pointed it directly at Shining’s horn. “Then why is your horn still glowing?” Twilight said, as she noted Shining’s glowing aura shining brightly around his horn.
“What?!” Shining looked to the mirror on the side of your bed. He was in shock when he saw that, in fact, his horn was glowing. He didn’t realize, or even think, that he had used telekinesis to break your leg like that. “I-it is… Twily, I…”
“Anon, are you alright?” Twilight was now focused on you as she ignored her brother, trying to make sure you were okay. “I’m going to go get the doctor, okay?”
Wait! Ngh, you couldn’t let her leave now. Discord, he had to have been the one to snap your leg like this. Christ, it was as genius as it was painful. If Shining was so filled with guilt, and seen to be so vengeful, he wouldn’t go after Chrysalis anymore, or at least for a moment or two. Twilight would pretty much force him to reflect on his actions. Which meant you had to convince Twilight yourself now that Shining was stalled. “Twilight! Ngh, no, wait! I don’t want to be in pain like this. Nghhh, ergh, just put the horn on my head! P-please, I know how to fix this.”
“Anon, bro, I didn’t mea-” Shining tried to approach you, but was stopped by Twilight as she gave him a furious gaze.
“You’ve done enough, Shining! I can’t believe you’d even think of doing something like this. And for what? Revenge? Like Chrysalis?” Twilight really was surprised by Shining’s actions, finding it to be worse than horrible. She found it hard to even look at him now, especially since he seemed to be so defensive over his own actions. “I can’t believe you’d be so vengeful as to hurt somepony.”
“Twily…” Shining didn’t know what to say anymore. He began to tear up, his ears folding, he looked utterly defeated.
Twilight sighed, shook her head, and began to cry herself. “Just go, Shining. Anon needs care right now, that’s the only thing that matters at this moment.” She didn’t want to be that harsh towards Shining, but she knew she had to. This was an egregious attack on someone she considered a friend. Well, she considers almost anyone a friend, but this was still over the line.
Shining said nothing, he only hung his head low, and walked out of the room, only looking back at Twilight before feeling more shame.
Twilight then looked at you. She grabbed your horn and carefully placed it on your head as to make sure she didn’t choke or hurt you with the necklace part of it. “Anon, are you sure about this? The doctor is right there.”
“I-I’m sure… I-I need to talk to you. A-and…” Ngh, you focused hard, up until your leg just… Fell off.
Twilight got spooked, backing off as she saw your injured leg just plop on the floor. “Anon! Your leg!”
“I-I know…” You said with a sigh of relief as the pain instantly went away. “It’s just my chaos magic. Now, give me one more second, and…” You press your hoof hard on your nose, and blow hard as if you were trying to inflate yourself. Your stump of a missing leg suddenly expands and juts out as a newly formed leg. “There we go, much better.”
Twilight just blinked, then shook her head as she dismissed her own confusion. “I have to remember that chaos magic is capable of things like that.” Twilight then looked to the exit of the room, and sighed. “Anon, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I never would have thought Shining was capable of that. It’s almost like he really has become as blind as Chrysalis in his want for revenge.”
Okay, how to do this. Twilight’s emotions were running high, you had her attention, and Shining was subdued. You couldn’t squander this. Ooh, you still felt a phantom-like pain from your leg. That really hurt, you had to have wondered if Discord could have done that any other way. “Uh, yeah. Twilight, I need to talk to you about that.”
Twilight shook her head, and used her magic to tuck you into bed. “No, what YOU need is to rest. Let me handle Chrysalis, alright? I’m sorry, Anon, but Shining is right about that. I can’t just let her be loose in Equestria.”
Gah! “Wait! But she reformed!”
Twilight just stared at you with a frown of disbelief. “I really want to believe like you do, Anon. But… She used you to escape. I could have helped her, I know I-”
Dammit! Twilight! Just fucking listen! You cut her off, you had to get it through her head that it was for real this time. “Twilight! I mean it! She could have escaped way before this, like, way before! She wanted to see me, just like you thought. But she doesn’t want to be a prisoner, Twilight, she doesn’t want to go through the trial. You want to help her?! Well, guess what? She wants to help you too! The only thing she wants is that she gets left alone, and she doesn’t get arrested.”
Twilight’s ear twitched at the last of your words. She almost seemed hopeful for a moment, before her expression filled with skepticism. “Anon, that’s… A little hard to swallow. I gave her as much leniency as I could, but even I’d have to say that sounds like another trap. I heard she wanted to help from the guards, to even visit Neighsay with Princess Celestia. But you know she’s the one she’s focused on for revenge, right?”
You groan, and realize if you continue to be hostile, you’d push Twilight away from giving Chrysalis one last chance. “I-I know she is. And I know asking for yet another chance is too much at this point. But Twilight, you’re the Princess of Friendship, isn’t there any way I can convince you to just… I dunno, give it one last try?”
“Anon... “ Twilight stopped. She began to deeply think about it. Seeing her brother react so harshly on you, beyond anything she could ever imagine, it made her heart recoil within itself. This situation was more than the schools, it was more than her, it was affecting everypony around her in a negative way. She knew she had to make a decision, but she needed to hear something a little more compelling to help her decide first. “Can you tell me then, how she managed to escape? How she managed to trick the two guards assigned to watch her? Something isn’t adding up, and I need you to tell me the truth, okay?”
The truth. Oh god, that was a tough one. You had to rely, at this point, for Discord to keep his mouth shut. For all Fluttershy knew, she helped Chrysalis escape. And Scrappy? For Chrysalis, he’d lie as long as Applebloom doesn’t guilt trip him. “Well, the truth is Scrappy is one of the guards. And er, the other one was…” If they’re both Discord, and that isn’t found out, then you could say anything and it’d be the ‘truth’ “...Well, he really did kind of agree with it. I mean, considering, er, Aunt Fluttershy was the one who snuck Scrappy in to break Chrysalis out, it’s kinda hard to argue with it when the element of kindness is involved.”
“Oh, that makes sen-WHAT?!” Twilight’s brain, right then, right there, broke. “Fluttershy?! There’s no way!”
“Yeah… That’s what I said too. Aunt Fluttershy helped Chrysalis escape by bringing Scrappy to her. All under the condition that Chrysalis helps with the whole Neighsay thing. Chrysalis is willing to do it. She doesn’t like me being another pony’s gopher” You say with a light and reluctant chuckle, trying to ease the mood. “I mean, you could ask her yourself. This would be too easy to prove it’s a lie, so, y’know, I have no reason to say it unless it’s the truth.” You say with a shrug.
“...Fluttershy.” Twilight whispered to herself in amazement. “Anon, I believe you. We have to figure out how to make contact with Chrysalis, I need to talk to her.”
“Oh, well, er, she went back home.” You reply.
“What? Even though everypony would look there first?” Twilight asked, baffled.
You shrugged “She expected me to get everything under control. It was one of her conditions in helping, since, ya know, she has to not be arrested to help.”
“Then the only thing that needs to be done now is to calm Shining down. I need him to understand that everything is alright now. But I think the only way to do that is to talk to Chrysalis.” Twilight then sighed, as she realized how difficult everything was becoming. “I can’t just tell Shining to stop without some evidence. But I don’t think Chrysalis would be willing to talk so soon. I don’t know what to do.”
Chrysalis wouldn’t like it. But Shining is also a douchebag. Ugh, suddenly everything is feeling like a twenty two minute episode where everything needs to wrap up quickly. There was only one way to do it. “Then let’s just go visit her together, right now. I’ll help smooth things over so you both can talk.”
“Anon, no. You need to stay here until the doctors say you’re alright. Even if most of the poison is gone from your body, we don’t know what else it can do to you.” Twilight says, being her friendly yet authoritative self.
Heh, the poison. You were sure that was something you didn’t need to worry about anymore. You just stay silent and plop the horn on your head.
“Anon!? Anon, Wai-” And before Twilight was capable of doing anything, you both teleported right to the front of Chrysalis’s house. “Gah?! Anon! No! You can’t do this! What about your health?!”
“I’ll be fine, this is more important.” You walk up to the front door of Chrysalis’s home and knock, causing the doors to fall over. “Gah!” You said, spooked as you stepped back.
“W-what happened?” Twilight asked as she looked at the destroyed walls and wrecked entrance hall of Chrysalis’s home, roots lying dead on the ground.
“Oh… This was just Dark Anon when he first showed up. Considering the mess, I’m going to guess Chrysalis isn’t here yet.” You say as you look around, pushing a dead root to the side. “We should probab-Wahh!”
Twilight hoists you up with her magic, looking at you with a serious stare. “We’re going back so you can get some rest. I’m going to talk to Shining myself and get him to stand-” Twilight suddenly freezes as a familiar changeling queen walks past her, without acknowledgement or even being noticed in any way.
“Look at what that miserable idiot did to my home. Ugh, I should have had Anon fix this too before I left.” Chrysalis walked past the both of you, putting down some saddlebags next to her fallen doors. “Ah well, I don’t need him, I can fix this mess myself, it is my home after all. Then I can use these recipes I stole to bake him a ‘get well’ cake.” Chrysalis suddenly groaned to herself as she brought a hoof to her chest. “Ugh, I feel sick just saying that. But the little idiot deserves it. No, not deserves… Chrysalis, you need to stop talking to yourself. You’re still royalty, just because you’re a forest hermit now doesn’t mean you have to act like one. As for the cake… I’ll just leave it for him and have the pink one blamed for it. He’d never let me live down something like this if he... Found... Out?” Chrysalis slowly turns her head, to see Twilight standing beside her, with you still floating in her magical grasp.
You chuckled nervously as you waved towards Chrysalis, who was already turning red in both embarrassment and furious anger. “H-hi, Chrysalis.”
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE BOTH OF YOU?!” Chrysalis stomps over and points to you first. “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO SUCH IDIOTIC THINGS?! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE RECOVERING, YOU IDIOT! HOW ABOUT I JUST END YOU MYSELF SINCE YOU SEEM SO INTENT ON PERISHING?!” She then points to Twilight. “AND YOU! YOU COULDN’T WAIT AT LEAST AN ENTIRE TWO HOURS BEFORE YOU COME TO MY HOME TO TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR FUCKING FRIENDSHIP SHIT?! AND AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE RESPONSIBLE ONE?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE YOUR FROO FROO FRIENDSHIP CRAP TO CONVINCE HIM TO STAY IN BED! BUT NO! YOU BOTH JUST CAME TO BOTHER ME BECAUSE BLA BLA BLA FRIENDSHIP! ANON! WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?! AND HOW ARE YOU UNABLE TO USE YOUR AUTHROITY FOR ANYTHING?! Unless... Because he used one of his charges to forcibly bring you here, that would make sense. And, hm, what's this?” Chrysalis started to calm down as she tasted something off from Twilight. “Brother troubles, Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight winced at those words as her ears folded. “C-Chrysalis. I, well…” At first, she didn’t know what to say, but then, she gave her a stern look as she went on the defensive “I came to talk. This has nothing to do with Shining, and I will not have you mock him or the situation.”
“I don’t even know what the situation is. But how about this. You forget what you heard just now, and I’ll tolerate the both of you. I’m just going to guess Anon somehow cured himself with one of his charges as well since he already seems to be better. Now, before I let you go further into my home, I am going to ask if your idiotic brother is coming after me or not.” Chrysalis asked, being as rude as she can as she knows she can get away with it. Especially since she felt intruded upon so suddenly.
Twilight acted subdued. She didn’t want to upset Chrysalis, but she didn’t want to be insulted either. It pained her, but she’d go along with it to truly see for herself how reformed Chrysalis is. After all, she can’t unhear what she said about the cake. She’d let it slide that it’s a stolen recipe, if only because it’s something sweet and unexpected of her. “Not yet. That’s why Anon brought me here. I wanted to talk to you myself, and hopefully, tell my brother that you’re reformed, and no longer a threat to anypony.”
“Reformed? Don’t use that word, I hate that word. Just know, Princess, that I’ve only chosen to stop all my evil endeavors, that’s it. I am still Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings. Besides, I know the real reason you’re here is to see if I am willing to save your pitiful school. I am, but only under the condition that I am left alone, is that clear? Can you leave me alone now? Because that should be the end of it.” Chrysalis said as she gave Twilight a smirk, waving her away with her hoof.
“I understand, but I still would like to try spending time with you. To at least make up for messing things up last time.” Twilight said, willing to admit her own faults if it’d help the situation.
“Hm, actually admitting that you messed things up with your friendship shtick, I’m surprised.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle. Chrysalis then looked to you with a stoic look. “Anon, is it true, really true, that she watched Goodfellas?”
You nod. “She did, with Rarity and Starlight.”
“I don’t even remember who those are.” Chrysalis then turned to Twilight. “So then, what did you think?”
“E-erm.” Twilight was caught off guard. It seemed like such a random question out of the blue, she had no idea how into human culture Chrysalis had become, even if it was only through movies. She even found it off how in sync you and Chrysalis seemed to be with that question as well, as you answered it without any hesitation or confusion. “W-well, I enjoyed it as a learning experience. It was actually quite inter-”
“Bah, who cares about that? What did you think about Tommy dying?” Chrysalis asked, getting annoyed with Twilight.
“E-erm. I…” Twilight suddenly realized that her answer would actually affect her gaining entry into Chrysalis’s home. “...Didn’t, er, agree with it at all.”
Chrysalis sniffed at her. “I suppose that’s the truth. Alright then, fine. Normally, I’d still kick you out, but there’s something in the basement that I really want to see. In fact, I want to see your reaction to it, Twilight. I want to see you envy me.”
“Uh… Okay. Erm, what is it?” Twilight, still confused, was happy to be allowed in, but was wary of whatever this ‘thing’ was.
“Twilight, there’s nothing to worry about.” You tell her. “It’s just a-” But suddenly Chrysalis cuts you off.
“Shhh! Don’t spoil it, Anon! I haven’t even seen it yet! I’m so excited to see it! I feel like-” Chrysalis was getting all giddy, almost like a little foal. And when she realized she was doing it in front of Twilight, she suddenly stopped and composed herself, even giving Twilight an evil smirking glare. “Ahrm. I mean, I feel like you, Twilight Sparkle, will not be able to handle the experience. You may even go mad.” Chrysalis said with a dark chuckle as she led you both through the living room, towards the stairs to the basement. “Come along now, it’s waiting for us.”
Twilight gulped, but remained steadfast in her goals. But she placed you down gently, then calmly whispered to you. “Are we going to be okay?”
Chrysalis, at this point, you had to admit was a good driver. So really, the only scary part about all this is both her actual driving speed and Twilight screwing things up. “Twilight, just act amazed, and prepare for a ride. That’s it. She really enjoys these kinds of things, so just don’t kill her mood, okay?”
“I never expected there to be a stairway that led this deeply underground.” Twilight said, as she noticed the strange lights illuminating the path down towards the basement. “Anon, you did this?”
You nodded, feeling a sense of pride. “Yep, I wanted to make sure everything was comfy for Chrysalis, both above and below ground.”
“Ugh, you’re making me regret bringing you both down here.” Chrysalis then looked over to Twilight with an aggravated gaze. “You’re not the least bit scared? You can’t at least say one thing about how this can be yet another trap I devised?”
Twilight shook her head, and gave Chrysalis a soft smile. “No, but as I understand it, whatever is down here is something you really want to see. So, I’d like to hope for Anon, and maybe even myself, that we’d come to enjoy it.”
“That’s not how you’re supposed to see it!” Chrysalis shouted, growling at Twilight. “You’re supposed to be nervous! Fearful!” Chrysalis then looked to you, stomping her hoof. “Send her back! This should be our moment! She should have nothing to do with it!”
“Erm, well, one, I’m glad you’re happy to share anything with me. And, um, yeah, I’m already out of charges… Again.” You were nervous, but you did think it was sweet she wanted to share the moment with you.
“Again?! You really did want to rush everything, didn’t you?! Urrraaghh! Fine!” Chrysalis then looked to Twilight, pointing at her as she demanded absolute attention. “Stop acting friendly, I don’t want to hear it! In fact, don’t say anything, is that clear?”
Twilight only took a half moment to think about it, then nodded, not saying a word.
“Really?” Chrysalis asked, confused. “Well then… Fine, now come on.” Chrysalis said as she continued down to the basement with you and Twilight. She then shifted her eyes to you for a moment, only taking a glance before looking forward once more. “So then… You’re well? You’re not just putting up a front?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” You say, looking back up at her with a smile.
“Ngh! Stop! Not another word from you unless I tell you to talk.” Chrysalis said, flustered from you thanking her. She even looked to Twilight to make sure she wasn’t smiling about it. Twilight tried to maintain a stoic expression, which seemed to somehow annoy Chrysalis anyway. “And you, don’t you dare react at all, understood?”
Twilight simply nodded.
“Good. Now then, Anon, how fast do you think my new car is?” Chrysalis asked as she licked her tongue along her muzzle. “I can imagine it moving so much faster than my old ride.”
You say nothing.
“Anon? Why aren’t you… Right, fine, you may speak. You shouldn’t toy with me, Anon, or else I’ll make sure you have to spend a week in that hospital.” Chrysalis said, her tone sounding rather threatening.
“Chrysalis, come on, you don’t have to act like that anymore. You’re among friends!” You tell her, trying to snuggle up to her. “You were really worried about me. Can’t you just be a little nice? Please? I promise not to tell anypony about it.”
“There’s nothing to tell, because I don’t do ‘nice’.” Chrysalis said as she slowly and gently pushed you aside. “And that cake I was planning to make? That doesn’t count, so don’t even try.”
“Fine, be that way. I just thought maybe you’d be a little nicer since we’re about to go see something I made just for you.” You say. It may be a dick thing to mention you did something nice for her, but she could at least show a bit more gratitude.
“I deserve such things, Anon. Just because you gave me something doesn’t mean I have to thank you for it. Twilight, you’re a Princess, tell him.” Chrysalis said, looking back at her with a head nudge towards you.
“I, uh-Eep!” But the moment Twilight spoke, Chrysalis barked at her.
“I said you’re not allowed to speak!” Chrysalis said angrily at her, before giving her a smirk. “So easy. No wonder Discord likes to toy with you so much.”
“Hey! I’m not-Eep!” But again, Chrysalis barks at her.
“Silence!” And just like before, she gives her a dominating smirk. “ So so easy. Okay, I’m satisfied, for now. You may speak, but just remember to give me your honesty once you’ve seen my car. Your jealousy will be a treat.”
Twilight furrowed her brow just a bit, but kept her cool. Given Chrysalis was being less violent, and showing you some sort of care, she decided to play along and refrain from being 'too friendly' .
The three of you finally reach the basement caverns below. beside you stood the shooting gallery you had made for Chrysalis earlier. There were also huge curtains covering something, it had to be Chrysalis’s ‘Queenmobile’.
“Curtains? Oh, Anon, that’s quite a tease.” Chrysalis said. She almost rushed towards it before she stopped herself. She didn’t want to seem too excited for it, as if she didn’t want to seem thankful in any way.
You know it was just the magic naturally doing its thing, so you just rolled with it. “Yeah, well, I just wanted to see you get excited over it. Come on, I know you are, you love cars. It’s just me and Twilight, so you can act a little excited.”
“I’m not excited. In fact, I don’t even care to pull away these curtains.” Chrysalis said as she pointed down in front of her. “That’s why you’re going to do it. I’m above such things.”
Twilight pondered for a moment. She wanted to think of a way to get on Chrysalis’s good side. If it was something Chrysalis was truly excited for, then maybe acting a little jealous wouldn’t hurt. “Ahrm. Well, I could use a car. If you’re not that excited for it then you can give it to me, er, because you shouldn’t get all the fun stuff.”
“Aha! I knew it! I knew deep down you wanted it! Just seeing human cars made you want to have one of your own, hm? Well, too bad, princess, this one is mine. Now then, prepare yourself, because I have decided to do the honors myself. Prepare for the most fearsome machine you’ll ever witness in Equestria!” Chrysalis used her magic to tear down the large curtains revealing her new car. It looked almost like a batmobile, but the wings on the back were more bug-like, with holes. Neon green along the edges of the jet black car. The turbine on the back sputtered green flames for a quick moment, as if reacting to Chrysalis’s call. And the windows on the hatch to the interior nearly glowed green as if they were Chrysalis’s eyes themselves. Chrysalis walks along it, rubbing her hoof along the side. “It even feels deadly.”
Twilight carefully approached the car, looking up at the glowing ‘eyes’ of the windows. “It certainly is something to be jealous about.” Twilight felt so awkward, she wondered if humoring Chrysalis like this was a good idea at all.
Chrysalis’s mood suddenly soured as she rolled her eyes towards Twilight. “Ugh, you’re such a bad actor. Ah well…” Chrysalis turned back to her ‘Queenmobile’ and smiled quite joyously at it. “It can’t take away my satisfaction. Anon, I have to admit, you have outdone yourself with this. You actually deserve my thanks.”
“Heh, you’re going to thank me, just like that? In front of Twilight?” You asked. She just thanked you so willingly without hesitation.
“Sure, even she can’t take away how impressed I am with you right now. This vehicle is like an extension of myself and-hm?!” Chrysalis is taken aback when a green laser light shines from her head to her hooves. “What in Equestria was that?”
Suddenly, a robotic female voice came from the car’s hatch flew back, revealing the interior. “My Queen, you have been registered and verified. Please enjoy your tool of havoc and speed.”
“Did… Did that just talk to me? And…” Chrysalis got closer, and inspected the inside of the car. Jet black seats with neon green trimmings, one gear shift, with a thruster throttle next to it, glowing buttons that seemed to do different things, and even a screen on her dashboard. The steering wheel extended almost like a bat’s wing would, but had her crown as the centerpiece of the design. Chrysalis just stared into it with awe, she even began to shake a little.
“Chrysalis? You alright?” You walk over to her, sure as fuck that she was stunned from being so impressed. “You like what you see?”
“I-I do.” As if she was mesmerized, she slowly got into the car and tapped at the gear shifts, letting her hoof slide along the steering wheel. “Anon…”
“You’re welcome, Chrysalis.” You said, feeling rather cheerful about her reaction. “I knew you’d love it. I’m really happy to see stunned by it.” You then give her a little snicker. “Pretty awesome, right? I bet you wanna hug me, huh?”
“I actually do, Anon, I actu-” But Chrysalis stopped herself when she looked over to Twilight, who was also smiling about the situation. “And why, Princess, are you smiling? You are aware this isn’t yours, right?”
Twilight shook her head, and even giggled. “I know. And I’m smiling because I can tell your genuinely happy. I was almost afraid that maybe all you really saw from Anon was somepony to take advantage of. But I can see you really appreciate what he’s done for you. And please, don’t mind me, I’m not going to say anything about you being affectionate and loving towards Anon.”
Chrysalis’s smile of joy twisted to that of an annoyed frown. “You’re such a killjoy.”
“What?! Aren’t you happy with Anon?” Twilight was astonished by Chrysalis’s reaction. “You seemed so excited over this.”
“And I was, and then you ruined it by adding in that sentimental rubbish.” Chrysalis said.
“Ehhh, I kinda have to agree with Chrysalis on this one. You almost made it all seem like an afterschool PSA. You could have just said ‘I’m happy to see you happy’ and that would have been fine.” You explained.
“I... actually agree with that. I can’t believe your friends can tolerate your drivel. Don’t get me wrong, I have come to understand there are things that I do that may get on one's nerves, but you just go on and on and on with the goody two shoes routine even after everypony else gets it. You wouldn’t last two seconds in human company.” Chrysalis said, rather disgusted with Twilight.
“What?! I was only trying to be nice! And what are you talking about? Human company? Aside from Anon, neither of us know any other humans. Chrysalis, this is serious, you can’t just be mean all the time. If you want to make friendship work, you have to be willing to show some kindness and love yourself. Also, I think I’d do fine among humans, I’m sure a new view on friendship would actually help them, just like it’d help you.” Twilight explained, flustered with Chrysalis’s words.
Oh god… “Twilight, I’m going to be honest. Like, brutally honest. If you ended up in the human world, you’d probably be fucked so hard your brain would fall out.”
“What?! Wait, wh-WHAT?! WAIT?! WHAT?! That word! That… What?! No! What?! My brain?! You can do that th-WHAT?! Why would humans… WHAT?!” Twilight was blown away, her eyes were bugged out, her mane even frizzled instantly upon hearing your words. “Explain yourself, Anon!”
“Yes, I want to hear this too.” Chrysalis said, she herself surprised by your statement. She wasn't even amused, she didn't understand why humans would fuck Twilight.
“Just trust me, theres a certain subset of humans who would love to fuck a brainy purple horse. You wouldn’t last two seconds.” You tell Twilight, immediately amused by her reaction.
“But that doesn’t even make sense! We’re not even compatible! That… Why would humans even… That’s vulgar! Vile! And disgusting! Especially when it comes to brains!” Twilight shouted, flabbergasted at you.
You shrugged. “Some humans are like that. Some humans want to fuck a purple horse, some want to fuck a sentient female feather duster. These are the realities we must face.”
“But that doesn’t explain whyyyyyyyy!” Twilight walked up to you, giving you a crazy eye. “That scientifically makes no sense! Even in the sense of, ahrm, THAT! That would still require attraction between the couple that initiates it!”
Christ, Twilight, she went from zero to a hundred real quick, she looked nuts over it. “Er, uh, erm.”
“Have you not been around Anon at all, Twilight? He’d fuck anything that moves. Trust me, I’ve seen him do things to objects that don’t even move at all.” Chrysalis said, as she became amused by the situation. “Face it, Princess, some beings are so pathetic and desperate that they’d even be willing to have you. The only trial with that is the human not losing his appetite over your garbage takes on friendship.”
“What?! Wait! I… Are you both messing with me?” Twilight asked, confused.
“No.” Both you and Chrysalis said at the same time.
“I… I… I knew humans were capable of violence, but that’s just… Why?” Twilight said, as she began to sit there, trying to rationalize everything in her head.
“As much as I’m enjoying this, I want to drive my new car already, so…” Chrysalis plucks you with her magic, by the scruff, and places you next to her on the passenger seat as she magically gives you a pat. “Are you comfortable, Anon?”
“I… Uh, yeah. T-thanks for asking.” Wow, she really was being extra nice to you all of a sudden.
“You’re very welcome, Anon, you’re finally proving yourself to be a fun friend.” Chrysalis said as she looked over at the broken Twilight. “I never would have thought Twilight could be defeated in such a way. No wonder Discord likes to toy with her so much, she’s a wreck.” She said with a short cackle
Twilight just kept sitting there, trying to rationalize everything, trying to figure out why humans would find her attractive.
“Yeah, it’s not too tough, you just need to tell her something her brain wouldn’t be able to comprehend. It works surprisingly well on ponies, actually, mostly royalty so far.” You explained.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Hm, while she’s stunned like that, I wanted to tell you something I didn’t want her to hear.” Chrysalis said as she slid her hoof along the steering wheel.
“What is it?” You asked.
“I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate this, from the bottom of my little black heart.” Chrysalis said, giving you a warmer smile than she normally would.
“O-oh, well, I just wanted to make you happy, Chrysalis. Although, this is all part of a trade.” You tell her, feeling rather happy that she thanked you so genuinely. Like, seriously, if this was her true feelings deep inside? Then yeah, everything was going to be ok. She hasn't even tried to kill Twilight yet.
“Yes, yes, I’m aware. Whatever, I can’t believe I nearly got so sappy. My captain would never let me forget it if he somehow caught me being ‘too’ nice. I need to get this out of my head.” Chrysalis suddenly started blasting the horn of the car. “Twilight, stop being a drooling moron and get in here!”
Twilight, who seemed to be calculating in her head, stops to realize she was being called. “W-what?”
“What do you mean ‘what’? Stop being an imbecile and get in the car. You should be happy anypony would fuck you at all. But no, not you, not the princess, where even procreation, a natural thing, seems to bother you.” Chrysalis said as she rolled her eyes at Twilight.
“What?! Don’t you realize what he said?! He said with humans!” Twilight barked back at her.
“And? At least that’s something! Because we all know you're never going to find anypony in this world. Now get in before I decide to take back my word on helping you.” Chrysalis said as she pressed a button, starting the engines, as if she already understood how the car worked. She pressed her hoof on the hoof specialized accelerator to rev up the engine.
Twilight stopped as her right ear twitched. That whole sex thing would have to wait, as even she understood the importance of properly befriending Chrysalis. “F-fine, alright, I-I’m coming. B-but... I” Twilight stopped for a moment to try to retort Chrysalis's claim.
"Whatever you're trying to think up, stop. Just, stop. Seriously, you should have figured things out by now given how Anon is." Chrysalis said as she pointed towards you. "before he actually valued his commitment towards his little marefriend, he would have jumped at the chance at you if you even batted eyelids towards him."
Oh god... "Chrysalis!? I mean..." You sigh "Erm, yeah? But that was the old me."
"Ok, I-I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that part. B-but at least that makes sense, Anon's entire genealogy must have changed when he became a pony. So that makes sense." Twilight said, still frazzled in the mind, unable to make sense of it.
"No, I'm pretty sure he would have done it even if he was still human." Chrysalis said
"Yeah... I would have." You said, agreeing with her, feeling awkward about it.
Twilight's eye twitched from that. "B-but why? I-It..."
You sigh, and roll your eyes, this was getting ridiculous. "Twilight. Think about it for a second. Are you telling me if Spike was older, and say, Rarity wanted to get with him, that they wouldn't just fuck each other in bed? Are you that naive? Come on!"
Twilight raised her hoof to say something about that, but then froze. She then narrowed her eyes as she snorted hot air from her nostrils. She then silently climbs into the back seat of the car, and just sits there.
"Twilight?" D-did you break her?
Twilight just raised her hoof up, calling for silence. "No, I get it, this doesn't need to go any further, I'd rather just not hear it anymore."
"Well, that's good. Because I wasn't going to wait anymore. Here we go!" And with that, Chrysalis threw both the drive shift and overdrive throttle forward at once, causing the car to peel out and thrust forward at such a speed that screams from you and Twilight could be heard.
“Chrysalis! Ah shit! Why is there a pit here?! Shit! Shit!” You screamed out, holding onto the belts on your seatbelt, shivering for dear life.
“Come on, Anon! What is life without a little danger? Hm? Especially for those around me!” Chrysalis cackled.
From the moment she took off, she had been taking many of the side tunnels, many of which that led to dangerous paths filled with stalagmites in the way, or the kind of path you currently found yourself in, in which it was a huge curve almost going along the wall as a pit sat at the center. One mishandling of the wheel or fluctuation in speed would send you all hurtling down a pit. At this point, Twilight’s screaming was no longer audible and you had to wonder if she had fallen off at any point. In addition, Chrysalis had been trying many of the features that were in her car. Many of which either caused the car to shoot a grappling hook into the wall for a tight turn or a jump button that nearly took your head clear off when the car jumped dangerously close to the roof of the tunnel.
“Chrysalis! Oh shit! It’s not that I don’t think you’re not skilled or anything! But I just don’t want to die yet!” You shrieked as you covered your eyes, prepared for the worst. You’ve been with her on crazy rides before, but the last time a deep death chasm was involved, she sent the car and you down the pit. It may have happened a long time ago, but goddamn, physics were physics!
Chrysalis focused hard ahead of herself, keeping the car balanced on the near vertical curve, snickering at you. “You’re that scared? Even after how I drove in the tunnels back at Discord’s? Good… It means this truly is a fearsome weapon I can use to terrorize anypony I wish.”
“Dammit! Chrysalis!” You broke your fear for a moment to look at her, point at her, and shout. “You’re not supposed to be wanting that shit anymore! Remem-Agh!” You slam back into the seat as Chrysalis increases the car’s speed just a tad to enter a tunnel below the curve.
Chrysalis sighed as she began to drive a little more leisurely through this straight and narrow tunnel. “Yes, I remember. Why can’t you just let me have a little fun? You’re actually forcing me to commend Twilight, at least she hasn’t said a word about it.”
“Yeah, she actually has been kinda quiet. Twilight?...” You look back in the seat to see if she was even still there. And, she was, strapped into her seatbelt, eyes wide and pupils small, twitching, with no movement. “Oh no, Shit! Chrysalis, I think she’s dead!”
“Unfortunately, no, she’s just gone unconscious with her eyes open.” Chrysalis then smirked to herself, then giggled. “See? This is an instrument of terror.” Chrysalis sighed, and grinned as she continued to drive on a more leisurely pace. “It’s not the exact revenge I was looking for, but it’s a start.”
You sigh, a little aggravated by her words. “Revenge, huh? Chrysalis…”
“Relax, Anon.” Chrysalis groaned. “It’s simple revenge against Twilight for being annoying, that’s all, nothing major. I had to get something out of this. And besides, I know you were annoyed with her too.” As soon as the tunnel ended, you both found yourselves in the deeper reaches of the main tunnel. Chrysalis stopped the car, and looked at you as she raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to tell me that it’s not funny?”
“Hmmnn… Okay, it’s a little funny.” You reluctantly admitted. But you still weren’t laughing, if only because this could have been serious, as Twilight had no way of getting used to such danger and speed all at once. You look back at Twilight only to see she was still scared stiff. “Actually…” You started to get a deviously innocent idea, if only because you figured something lighthearted would help the situation. “It would be kind of funny to just draw on her face while she’s out. But that's it, nothing too bad.”
But Chrysalis said nothing. When you looked back at her, she seemed to be looking up at the roof of the main tunnel. The tunnel had one light on each side of the roof, with sets going both down and up the tunnel, to illuminate the path, and it seemed to be bothering Chrysalis greatly. “Hm, how odd…”
“What? What’s up?” You asked. If messing with Twilight didn’t seem to catch her attention, something serious must have happened.
“This tunnel, those lights, I don’t remember them going so deeply. That last tunnel, I’ve explored it before, and it always led to the end of the main tunnel. And yet now it seems to go in much deeper than before. Anon, did you do this?” Chrysalis asked, curious to see if you were the cause.
“I… Don’t know. Maybe? That’s weird, I could have sworn I just made the car.” How peculiar, if you did do this, how and why did it happen? Even if you overdid the chaos, it should have only had an effect on the car.
“Hmmm…” Chrysalis starts to casually drive down the tunnel, keeping her eyes forward as she begins to ponder. “It looks like it goes pretty far forward. That’s making me think.”
“Making you think? Think of what? W-woah, wait! You don’t think there’s a super crazy set of turns and paths down there, do you?” Oh, god, if Twilight was taken out by the lunatic driving in those tunnels, then whatever you created now would be much worse if it involved this crazy car.
“Oh no, I think there’s something much better at the end of this tunnel.” Chrysalis said as she began to speed up. “Haven’t you figured it out by now?”
“What do you mean? What else could be…” But then it hit you. The car, the way the lights are set up, the idea of the car matching up with the motif of the tunnel… The basement cave suddenly became a… Queen Cave. “Chrysalis! No! You can’t!”
“Why not?” Chrysalis said with a grin as she picked up the pace. “You decided to rush things. So why can’t I? Besides, the sooner we get this over with, the sooner everypony else will leave me alone.” Chrysalis said as she suddenly slows down for a moment, and gives you a serious stare. “Why would you even protest anyway? What happened to you, Anon? I remember when you used to do whatever you wanted to do, not caring about the consequences. If you acted like this before, we would have been trapped in that other Equestria until the windigos got us. So, what? Have you just become a coward?”
A coward? You weren't a coward! You just… You just didn’t want anything going wrong. “Chrysalis, I just don’t want Shining having any more of a reason to come after you. Not to mention Celestia. What do you think is going to happen if you roll up in this car?”
“That was the idea…” Chrysalis stops to think for a moment as her speed becomes more leisurely “But I can see convincing you is going to be annoying as well. So how about a compromise? I’ll drive my car up to Canterlot at a pleasant pace, we won’t even drive into Ponyville. I’ll avoid hitting anything and will even look out for any cart toting ponies coming from across the way. How does that sound to you?”
Wut? “Seriously? You’d do that? Why?”
“Anon, I’d be happy to drive this thing outside at all at this point. I want other ponies to gawk, and I want Celestia to lose her little mind when she sees we have her precious pupil on board. The alternative is just to toss you out of my car and speed my way into Canterlot. But, well…” She gently puts her hoof on your head and rubs. “I’d like you to ride with me on my first road trip.”
“Really?” Woah, she suddenly became very gentle. It surprised you she'd even admit something like that all of a sudden.
“Of course. It gives me a small sense of nostalgia, and perhaps it’ll keep me from getting the urge to run somepony down. Besides, It may be… Fun? Well, my driving is already fun, but it may make the trip itself enjoyable.” Chrysalis said, being hesitant and reluctant in her words.
“Chrysalis…” Came a voice from the back of the car.
Chrysalis’s eyes went wide as she looked behind her seat to see Twilight looking back at her with a gentle smile. Chrysalis’s face suddenly twisted into shock. “You?! Now?! You’re conscious now?! You heard everything, didn’t you?!”
Twilight nodded. “I did, and aside from a few things, it was very sweet.”
“You’re getting on my last nerve, Princess. Why can’t you be a good little mare and stay out of my affairs?” Chrysalis said, giving Twilight a threatening look as her eyes glowed green.
“Alright.” Twilight said, herself being rather arrogant as she shrugged. “I won’t get in the way of your friendship with Anon. I’m just here to help you ‘freak out’ Princess Celestia.”
Wut? “...You’re fine with that? A-are you really Twilight?” Was that Discord? That didn’t sound like Twilight at all.
“Even I have to ask that. What do you gain out of scaring your mentor?” Chrysalis asked, looking at Twilight closely for anything out of the ordinary.
“In the end, we’re here to talk to Chancellor Neighsay and fix the problems everypony here has. Friendship, love, and saving the schools as well as helping my brother understand that you have changed is the most important thing right now. I can see it in your eyes, Chrysalis, you have changed. But I also understand now that you really aren’t like anypony else. So, I’ll just stay out of it.” Twilight then relaxed herself on her seat, even snuggling on it, it really was quite comfy.
W-wut? “So you’re fine with the car being driven outside? Like, what if somepony sees?”
“Yes, what about that? You’re not afraid I’ll break my word and run somepony down? That I may do something evil?” Chrysalis was baffled, she didn’t know Twilight could be so nonchalant about anything.
“Nope. You said it yourself, you want to go on a road trip with Anon. As the Princess of Friendship, stopping something like that would go against my title. And besides, Princess Celestia isn’t afraid of anything, so I know that will turn out alright. As for anypony seeing us, I would recommend a disguise, of course, until things are settled. And with me in this car, I can easiAAAHHHH!!!” Suddenly, Twilight’s seat springs upwards and ejects her backwards from the car.
Chrysalis had her hoof on a button, eye twitching as she looks at you, aggravated. “You wanted to get rid of her too, right? It wasn’t just me?”
“Yeah, christ, I hate it when she gets like that. I don’t think I could ride all the way to Canterlot with her acting like she planned everything.” You reply.
“Yes, I know, I feel like I would have crashed the car just to make it all stop. We can get along without her, she can deal with her brother for all I care.” Chrysalis said as she slowly began to pick up speed.
“Yeah, for real. Okay, so, you’re still planning on not running anypony down?” You asked.
“Sure, as long as you don’t act like some paragon of goodness.” Chrysalis said.
“No problem, no fucking problem. We really don’t need Twilight for this, Celestia will do j-... She just teleported onto the hood of the car.” You could see Twilight standing there, angrily, as she tried to signal for Chrysalis to stop.
“Hey! You can’t just leave me here! I’m coming tooWAAAAGH!” And with a flip of the button, the hood of the car launches up then slowly comes back down as Twilight is ejected backwards in a spin, causing her to get dizzy and unable to focus her magic as she crashes hard onto the ground.
Chrysalis let out a relieved sigh as she relaxed herself. “Okay, I think that did it. I don’t think she’ll be able to follow us now.”
You tried to peek backwards, putting your forelegs on the door of the car as you saw Twilight trying to teleport towards the car now, but was too far back to properly plant herself on the hood or back in her seat this time. “Yep, she can’t catch us now.”
“And I can see the tunnel opening up ahead of us. Now that is classy, worthy of a queen. I knew it was there. Let us see exactly where this leads to.” Chrysalis said as she drove a little faster, but nowhere near top speed.
You wanted to remind her not to go crazy with her driving, but you didn’t want to upset her either. You were sure she got it. Hell, seeing the light of the outside fill your eyes, you actually felt kind of excited. A fun road trip with Chrysalis, just like before, just hopefully without ending up falling into a gorge.
When the car finally came out from the exit, fresh air and beautiful light came upon your faces. Equestria in all of its glory, ready to be driven on in Chrysalis’s glorious Queenmobile. The location of the tunnel’s exit was actually quite surprising to you, as it was ways away from the Everfree Forest, and even from Ponyville. You both were at the bottom of the mountain Canterlot sat upon, the exit of the tunnel coming out from beside the train tracks that went into a tunnel through the mountain itself. Looking to your right, then upwards, you could see the waterfalls and glimpses of Canterlot high above the both of you.
“Huh, well that’s convenient.” You said as you looked upward. “Canterlot is up there, but… How are we supposed to get there by car?”
“How else? We take the same paths earth ponies use, or we can take the train tracks. No, the tracks would be too easy, and I plan to keep my word.” Chrysalis said with a snicker “No derailing of any trains coming our way today.”
“Y-yeah.. not today." You say with a nervous chuckle. "Hmmm…” You look back to see that the tunnel had already closed up. “I don’t think Twilight is gonna be able to teleport out of there. So we should be good. So, er… Ah, hold on.” You looked towards the dashboard of the car, and smirked to yourself as you played around with a dial. If this car had some built in music, like you hoped it did, then… “Aha! Got it!”
“What? What are you doing to my-” But Chrysalis is stopped as music starts to come out of the speakers of the car. A very particular song, that one may know as ‘Bad to the Bone’. Chrysalis went wide eyed for a moment, as the guitar led the song into the main melody. “What is this? I’ve never heard this song before.”
“It’s called ‘Bad to the Bone’, sounds rad, huh? Hmmmm?” You could see it, she began to bob her head ever so softly to the music as she sat back on her seat, relaxing herself.
Chrysalis let out a soft chuckle as she looked to the road, charting out the route to Canterlot in her head. “I have to hand it to you, Anon, you always seem to be able to surprise me as well as you disappoint. So, it won’t take us too long to get to Canterlot. Can I count on you not to foul things up?”
You give Chrysalis a confident smirk as you hold your hoof up for a hoof bump. “I won’t let you down. Let’s go freak out a princess.”
“That’s my colt! Hahahaha!” Chrysalis laughed a more genuinely happy sounding laugh as she hoof bumped with you, and began to drive forward, heading towards the mountain path upwards into Canterlot.
Your ears were flicking your ears, relaxed, as you sat in your seat. You looked to the right to see the walls of the mountain, then looked over past Chrysalis to see the landscape that was Equestria. Chrysalis was driving the car slower than you expected. Then again, driving too fast would very well send the car hurtling from the edge of a cliff. Chrysalis actually seemed pretty serene and calm as she focused on her driving, she actually looked pretty beautiful as her mane flowed back from the wind. “Hey, Chrysalis, you’ve been kinda quiet. Don’t bite my head off or anything, but is there anything on your mind? Are you thinking about Celestia?”
“Hm? Actually, I’m confident in my success, even if what I want is petty at this point. No, I was thinking about something else just now.” Chrysalis said, her gaze never leaving the mountain path.
“What is it?” Huh, she was being pleasantly calm. It made you pretty curious.
“Well.” Chrysalis looked to you with a gentle smirk before looking back at the road, brushing back her mane. “This place, it was some sort of show in your world, correct?”
“Mhmm, yeah. Though, y’know, it was focused on Twilight and her friends.” You said, reminding her in case she wondered what exactly MLP focused on.
“I have no doubt that it did. But I also know how these things go. So, was this show popular? Did it have fans? conventions?” Chrysalis asked, which made you feel kinda weird. That was an unexpected question.
“You mean like Daring Do does? Er, yeah. The show was pretty popular, actually. Huh, I didn’t think you cared about any of that, Chrysalis.” You wondered where she was going with this, it seemed so out of the blue.
“Well, even if I failed to take over Canterlot, I know my attempt was still featured in the show, in which I can only guess was in glorious fashion given that I fooled that idiot, Princess Celestia. So, what I’m asking is, how many fans did I have? How many humans lusted over me? Oh, what about that, ah, what do they call it? Right, fanfiction, what were those normally about?” Chrysalis looked back at you, she retained her regal composure, but the way she was speaking, you could sense some giddiness to it.
Did she actually care about that? Did she care about her popularity? That didn’t make any sense, she wouldn’t have even known had you not told her about it all that time ago. But you sat there for a moment, thinking. You started to feel a warmth in your heart. Bonding, just regular bonding, damn how you missed this with her. And over your world’s thoughts on her? Oh yeah, this is an awesome start! “Well, actually, you were pretty popular given you were only in that two parter. So, yeah, you had a ton of fans. Er, and a lot did lust over you. You don’t mind that part? You usually get pissy whenever I got lustful.”
Chrysalis let out a giggle as she reached over to you to give you a gentle pet. “Well, that’s because you were usel-” But Chrysalis stopped herself for a moment, or not even a moment, she was quick to change her words without a single stutter. “Usually being less than gentlecoltly whenever you ‘presented’ yourself. In the case of having a fanbase that wants me, well, that would make them an army I could have used that would have given their life for me. I’m probably forgotten by now, but it could have been a plan if I figured out how to use your horn to rip a portal open to your dimension. Ah well, what about the fanfictions? I assume there were some of me taking over Equestria?”
“Yep, plenty actually. There were a lot of humans who wanted you to win… And then you’d usually have Shining or Twilight and her friends as sex slaves. Sometimes Celestia and Luna too. When it came to sex stuff, you were pretty high up there. A lot of fans saw you as sensual and sexy.” Despite all of Chrysalis’s quick bouts of anger, especially nowadays, you felt she was content enough to have a normal conversation without fearing repercussions. The kind of conversation you wish you could have with her all the time.
“Sensual and sexy you say? Hm. Well, not exactly the words I would use. But what can I say? I’m too attractive for my own good.” Chrysalis said with a joyful chuckle. “Sex slaves, hm? They missed the mark on that one, I don’t need them to please myself, only their suffering would do. Or would have done anyway, I don’t really need that any more either. This one time doesn’t count, Celestia deserves it.”
No anger over the sex slaves thing. And goddamn, she actually sounded pretty endearing over the petty revenge she did want. “Well, we only did only have a two parter on you, people went with what they could gather from that and let their imagination do the rest.”
“And I suppose I can’t blame them for that. Though I somehow doubt fanfictions of my victory weren’t the only things written about me.” Chrysalis sighed, this time she didn’t sound so joyful. She sounded distant with this one, a little sad over it. “I can also assume they wrote the opposite about me as well. Some, despite knowing nothing about me like you do, wanted to see me reformed anyway, didn’t they?”
“Yeah, they did. Some created their own mythos about you just to get that done. Like I said, you became pretty popular after your debut, I think you were even more popular than Discord until the fanfictions started coming describing him and Fluttershy being together. I mean, there was also Sombra and Tirek as far as villains go, and nobody really liked Tirek so… Yeah, you were the most popular villain, so you had all kinds of stories written about you, even reformation ones.” You explained before relaxing back on your seat. “Are you really worried about that though? It’s not like it ever happened. You’re you, and we’re friends, and nuts to Celestia if she has anything to say about it.”
“No, I’m not worried about it at all, I was simply curious. Which makes me wonder, what about you? What did you contribute to the fandom?” Chrysalis asked you.
“Oh well, nothing really.” You said with a shrug. “I mean, I kinda wanted to write this super long, two million word plus story that could have worked. Y’know, a human living in Equestria. But I never got to it, considering I ended up just coming to Equestria.” You say with a light hearted chuckle. “I guess you can say I’m writing my story right now.”
Chrysalis shook her head in shame from that response. “Anon, Anon, that’s terrible.”
“What? Why?! I thought you liked that kind of dedication.” What was she talking about?!
“I like that kind of dedication towards me. But to write what is effectively a form of escapism?” Chrysalis shuddered at the thought of it. “That’s just… I can’t even say it. Were you even going to be paid for it?”
“Well, no. I just wanted to entertain other fans with my amazing writing skills. Why is that a bad thing?” Come on, you and her were getting along so well, why did she have a problem with that?
“I could answer that question in so many ways, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings, so…” Chrysalis stops to think for a moment, making sure she was focused on the road as she hummed to herself. “Okay, I have it. So imagine that idiot Shining Armor for a moment. When I first switched places with Princess Cadance, I had him remind me of a few things about himself so I could further bring him under my control without anypony being the wiser. One of the things I had to suffer through to achieve this was spell checking for him a response letter to some comic book publication company I could care less about. Anon, it took me two agonizing weeks to fix.”
What in the fuck?! Wut?! “Holy shit! I didn’t know he was that bad at spelling.”
“Oh no, he actually barely made a mistake. It was just that the letter could fit three books.” Chrysalis suddenly tensed as she became angry, her body nearly bursting into green flames. “Words upon words of useless drivel, about characters that didn’t exist, at least in this Equestria, for no reason other than useless worship! Two weeks, TWO WEEKS! I didn’t even understand half the things he was explaining, it was so dumbfounding I almost gave up my plans to take over Canterlot just from that. But do you want to know what the worst part is? Well, I’ll tell you. The letter he got back was a single tiny little sheet of paper saying ‘thank you’, and that was it. THEY DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER READING HIS LETTER, ANON! AND YET HE WAS HAPPY JUST TO RECEIVE THAT STUPID REPLY! NEVER MIND THAT I HAD TO DISGUISE MY OWN DISGUISED EYES AS THEY HAD TURNED RED AND DRY!” Chrysalis was growling, her disguised wings changing into their glorious seraphim form as she lost focus. But then, as suddenly as she got angry, she calmed down, and then looked at you as she pointed and poked at your forehead. “That’s what you sounded like just now. An idiot stuck in some delusion of worship. Unless you’re worshipping me, then you’re no better than him.”
Christ, you never actually thought about how long and hard Chrysalis had to work to even get that close to Shining in the first place. No wonder her heart had no place for him at all, he really is an annoying fuck. “Okay then, noted. Geez, I didn’t know you had to go through stuff like that when you were disguised as Cadance.”
“Oh yes, it was terrible. The things I had to do just to get him deeper into my clutches. That wasn’t even the worst of it. Sometimes I had to sit around and watch him and the other guards play some stupid game called ‘Ogres and Obuilettes’. Hours and hours of acting like they were somepony else, the clattering of dice, and relentless argument over stupid rules. Which, by the way, they didn’t even fully understand! They did this one campaign against a cluster of changeling hives and they somehow forgot changelings could become objects. It was insulting! And a changeling king?! Whoever heard of a changeling king?!” Chrysalis groaned as she put a hoof to her forehead and shook her head. “I get a headache just thinking about it.”
Wait… “But isn’t Thorax a changeling king?”
“Anon?” Chrysalis’s head suddenly slowly turned to you, giving you the creepiest and most unpleasant smile you’ve seen from her yet.
“Uhhh... “ Oh god no, you already knew where this was heading. “Chrysalis, please don’t drive the car off a cliff.”
“Off a cliff? Never, I just wanted to ask if you’re capable of fitting this entire mountain up your rear. Because I cannot fathom why you would EVER remind me of that particular thing.” Chrysalis said, her fangs clenching tighter and tighter, her smile shaking.
“I… Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that was actually pretty insensitive of me. But come on, I didn’t mean it in a way that’d piss you off. I hate that guy too, he’s a fucking pussy.” You tell her, hoping that some mutual agreement will calm her.
And somehow, it did, she just sighed and went back to focusing on her driving. “I know you do, my captain does, I’ve known it since he was born, and I don’t like to be reminded that somepony like him rules my kingdom now. So… I’m asking you not to remind me of that again, can you do that?” Chrysalis almost sounded like she was going to die saying that last part, it was nearly polite with the way she said it, if a little strained.
“Yeah, I can do that.” You say with a nod, surprised that she restrained herself there. “Chrysalis?”
“Yes?” Chrysalis says, wondering what you wanted.
“Considering Fluttershy was the one who helped you get free in the first place, can I ask if you’re okay with her? If you can consider her at least some sort of friend? Y’know, kinda in a familial way, like when you were Nymous.” You wondered if she liked Fluttershy at all, or if she only cared about the fact that Fluttershy had helped free her.
“I can do that.” Chrysalis answers in a simple fashion.
Wut? “Re-wait, really?”
“If it means that much to you, then yes, I can do that. Just don’t expect it to be the same way as it is with her and Discord. If I’m going to live freely in the forest without anypony bothering me, then I understand that I’m going to have to compromise on a few more things than I previously thought, and if that requires some degree of friendship, then so be it. And besides, I’ll have to learn some more of the town’s local customs if I plan to decimate the competition during the Sisterhooves Social. So as long as she doesn’t annoy me, I’d not mind learning a few things from her that I may not understand yet. We’ll just call it another form of changeling infiltration and that’ll be that.” Chrysalis says before giving you a hard stare. “And I’ll hear nothing more on that either. I’m already doing this for Twilight and Celestia, I don’t need to hear about how nice I seemingly am becoming. It is all merely a means to an end.”
“I know. But, y’know, thanks Chrysalis. I really mean that.” You tell her, glad to know that deep down inside, she’s really changed.
“Hmm…” Chrysalis murmured as she shrugged off your thanks. “I can see the meadow that leads to the city’s bridge. We’re nearly there.” Chrysalis presses a button, which closes the roof of the car. “I’m going to tell you right now, Anon, I want to ride this car as fast as I am able through the city, I want to make a real show of it. Nothing you can say can stop me, but I will try to be careful.”
“You really want to make a statement, huh? Okay, if you’re gonna be careful then let’s do it. I have my own beefs with Celestia, and I wanna see her face when she sees us.” Here we go, it was time.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Chrysalis snickered as she made the engine roar. “Look out, Canterlot! True royalty is coming through!”
Chrysalis had parked the car right before the city. There was a small crowd already, staring, some fearful, some thinking it was some sort of show or display. The roof was down, so no one could actually see you and Chrysalis through the dark tinted windows. She just stared at them all, silently plotting in her head.
“Chrysalis, we can’t hurt anypony, alright? I’m serious.” You explain to her, looking at her focused expression. You knew what was going to happen, and truthfully? Why not? As long as no one got hurt, Celestia could deal with a little collateral damage. That whole trial thing was a low blow to begin with. No matter what, you knew she’d choose to save the schools, so there really was no danger in pissing her off as long as no one got hurt in the process.
“I know, I know. We’re just going to have a bit of fun, that’s all. You do know what fun is, don’t you? Discord has gone on and on about your chaotic abilities before. So…” Chrysalis gives you a poke at your side. “Relax, just enjoy a little chaos for once in your life. If you can handle Discord’s pitiful pranks, then surely you can handle this. C’mon! You won’t regret it!”
“No, no, I get it. I’m just wondering how pissed Celestia is gonna be, that’s all. I actually want her to be super pissed, but only in a certain way.” You said, your eyes slowly peering towards the bystanders. Suddenly, it hits you, and you begin to smirk. “Holy shit, Chrysalis, I just thought of a way to really get under her skin!”
“Oh? Wait…” Chrysalis groaned as even she realized there had to be a limit to Celestia’s patience. “What is it? I do understand there’s only so much I can actually do. We still have to get the bitch in the car so I don’t end up with a spear at my throat. Sadly, we’ll have to keep our threats to a minimum.”
“Exactly! So, when we actually show up, just act smooth. Be cool.” You tell her with excitement. You felt giddy, this could be pretty hilarious.
“What needs to be explained? Just don’t condescend to her. Act relaxed, cool, in control of the situation. Just tell her what we’re here for, and treat her like she’s the one overreacting. She’d never expect that from you, it’s perfect!” You began to rub your forehooves together, smirking. Oh yes, this will be grand.
“Hmmm…” Chrysalis began to go into deep thought, closing her eyes as she rubbed her hoof under her chin. “That’s quite an approach. Yes, just being casual and relaxed? Yes! Hahahaha! Anon, that IS perfect.” Chrysalis reached over and gently ran her hoof through your mane. “What got your brain percolating today? Hm?”
“Well, you said you didn’t want me whining, right? Welp, to do that, I just need to be cool. So, with that out of the way, how exactly are we going to get through town?” You ask, making yourself comfortable in your seat as you prepped yourself for madness.
“Go fast, go hard, and destroy some property as we make our way to the castle. A lamppost here, a fountain there, and any statues of Celestia are of course priority.” Chrysalis began to rev the engine, startling the bystanders and making them step back. “Are you really ready for this, Anon?”
You take a deep breath and ready yourself, looking straight ahead, putting any regrets you may have behind you. “...Er, could you honk the horn first? Get them a little further away before we speed off?”
“Tch, fine.” Chrysalis said with an eye roll as she honked her horn, blasting a loud and thunderous honking noise that made the onlookers duck and hide, as if something exploded. “Alright, no more waiting around! Here we go, Anon, full throttle!” Chrysalis smirked as she pulled down at the gear shifts. Peeling out at a high speed that left a black wide set of streaks across the road as you both entered Canterlot proper.
“Woah! Watch out for that cart! Shit!” The drive itself was not a direct route to the castle however. Chrysalis was making wide turns, crashing into lamp posts, weaving between carts, drifting around crossways. “Woah, that was close. I thought we were going to avoid the townsponies?”
“Relax! Nahahahaha!” Chrysalis cackled as she narrowly weaves between two carts as their pony pullers jump to the side. “Now this is fun! Listen to that screaming, Anon! Isn’t it delightful? Oh oh, look at that! They're clearing out from that crossroad up ahead! Let’s do some donuts! I always wanted to have an audience for this one!” Chrysalis gleefully giggled as she hard turned the car and began drifting in a circle. “Eat shit, Celestia! You’ll never get rid of my marks upon your roads! Do you hear me?! Everytime you see this, you'll think of me!”
“W-woah, ha… haha! Shit! This is actually fun! How long can you keep this up?” You said, bracing yourself as excitement began to fill you. She hadn’t hit a pony yet, and quite honestly, this was much better than driving around in those scary caves, where one mistake would end everything.
“Are you kidding? I could keep this up all day if it wasn’t for the fact it’d eventually get boring!” Chrysalis shouted as she honked her horn at the scared populace. “Anon! Come on! Isn’t there something you want to drive into? Look around, name it! I’ll turn it to rubble!” She was almost acting like a filly at this point. You had to suspect she just wanted a place to drive around like a lunatic more than anything else.
While Chrysalis was focusing on her donuts, you actually took the time to try to spot something to drive through as the car drifted in circles. You narrowed your eyes as something passed by your sight. It wasn’t until another circle around that you saw it down the road, there were two ponies so focused on their task that they didn’t notice the gaggle of ponies panicking around them. These ponies seemed to be some sort of chefs, as they were personally delivering a huge cake towards the castle. A huge cake? Unprotected? Out in the open? Oh ho, Celestia, that’s a pretty shit delivery system there. “There, right there!”
“Where? I don’t see anything.” Chrysalis said as she focused on her donuts.
“Wait… Wait… Right there, that cake down the road, do you see it?” You say, snapping your right hoof forward to point towards it.
“Hm? A cake? That those foolish ponies must have spent a painstaking amount of time baking and crafting? Well, that truly is delicious.” Chrysalis said as she let the car slide, turning just enough to aim it right at the cake. “But how am I supposed to destroy it without hitting those ponies?”
Hmmm, how would she? Well, the horn managed to really startle the ponies around you before. So… “The horn! We’ll just drive right by them and honk the horn, it’ll scare them stupid and they’ll wreck the cake! The cake meant for Celestia, I might add. Because look, they’re heading towards the castle.” You say as you point once more.
“Celestia? Oh ho ho” Chrysalis gives you a playful jab as she mockingly laughs at the situation. “When I said delicious, I didn’t know it’d be fattening too! Alright, we’ll destroy her cake and head towards the castle. I promise I won’t say a word about it. Then again, I’m hoping some stupid pony informs her of what we’ve done during our talk. She can get angry all she wants, it is still only a cake versus the livelihood of her and her precious Twilight Sparkle. Good work, Anon, I’m proud of you.”
Did you feel any guilt? Maybe a little. But she was right, it was just a cake, and it was a cake you pointed out. Remember, Anon, Celestia deserves a little payback. And not just due to the trial, but also because she had used you before, and nearly got you killed by taking your horn way way way back. She needed to learn a little humility. “Hey, we’re in this together, right? As long as we don’t hurt anypony, Celestia can’t say shit. Now, c’mon! Let’s ride!”
Chrysalis licked at her muzzle as she eyed the cake, then went full speed ahead, cackling. Ponies around the area were still panicking and running around, they just didn’t seem to know what to do. The chefs were surprisingly calm through all this. When the car quickly drew close, you let out a ‘NOW’, prompting Chrysalis to honk the horn. Just like you predicted, the chefs got startled. So startled in fact, that with their earth pony might, they fucking flung that shit into the stratosphere, most likely never to return.
“Haha! Mission complete! The cake is gone! I dunno where it’s gone, but it’s gone!” Whatever that cake was for, it would just lead to Celestia not indulging in her insane sweet tooth.
“I saw it! Right when I looked to the side. It’s gone! No cake for you, Celestia! Revenge is mine! Hahahaha!” Chrysalis bellowed, laughing maniacally
You suddenly stopped as you looked towards Chrysalis, worried for her. There it was, she still wants revenge. It was petty revenge, but you knew it was there somewhere. Hopefully, fucking hopefully, her thirst for whatever revenge she was thinking of didn’t extend past that cake. Just relax, Anon, you’re supposed to be having fun, and there was still-OH SHIT! “Crap, the guards are already gathering to-GYAH!” Suddenly, as Chrysalis and you began to drive towards the castle, the car suddenly was being bombarded by spears from above, being thrown by royal guards. They weren’t doing anything, but it was still scary.
“Now that’s just rude.” Chrysalis said as she began to slow down, noticing many royal guards stepping out from the castle front doors, the gate up, and drawbridge down. “They’re already attacking us and we haven’t even seen Celestia yet. Ah well…” Chrysalis snickered as she stopped the car right before the readying brigade of guards as the guards above joined the ranks of those below, ready to fight. It was clear the spears were doing nothing to the car, something Chrysalis noticed straight away as she casually waited. “Their spears are useless anyway. Let’s just wait here for their princess to come out. I know she will, she won’t want to put all these guards in danger if she doesn’t have to.”
“So, you’re not worried about them ruining the car then?” You ask.
“Considering what it is based on? No. I’ve come to understand how some of your magic works, so if this is accurate to the base model, then they won’t even leave a scratch. No, what’s on my mind right now is Celestia herself. I have to wonder what she’ll actually think of the situation she’ll soon find herself in. Yes, I’ll play it cool, but will she?” Chrysalis said as she laid back on her seat, watching the guards carefully as they seemed to become more confused about the car.
“I thought we wanted to piss her off?” Celestia would still have to agree if she wanted to save the schools, so you had to wonder why Chrysalis seemed so worried about it now.
“We do, but I have become doubtful of her ability to compromise. We know she’ll join us, but will she betray us after we’re done? I hadn’t considered the possibility of Celestia lying to us.” Chrysalis said, as she awaited for Celestia’s arrival.
“Nah, she won’t lie, Chrysalis. It isn’t her style. If anything, this will go by the books. So expect her to say something like ‘I’m so proud of how much you’ve really improved yourself, Chrysalis’ after we’re done with Neighsay. Just saying, the only reason she would go back on it is you blowing your top over something like that.” You explain.
“Bah, as infuriating as that sounds, I value my solitude more than some petty anger. Hmph, though I have to wonder if the thing that is really bothering me is the fact that she may try to interact with me in some way after this is all over. No doubt trying to make sure I’m not trying anything behind her back.” Chrysalis said.
“Yeah, I can see her doing that. But whatever, what do you care? That basically gives you full rights to tell her to fuck off whenever she tries to show up. Both Celestia and Twilight bothered me a ton so it’s just something to expect. So whatever, fuck it.” You tell her.
“Yes, but as I recall, you didn’t tell either of them to really fuck off either. Ah…” Chrysalis gives you a gentle pet. “My poor little Anon, we’ll work on that once we have more time together. I do suddenly feel a lot better about this though. Telling her to just fuck off, perhaps adding in that her intruding on me isn’t a very good sign of trust at all, considering all I’m going to be doing for her. Oh yes, let her come, I’ll slam the door right on her face.”
You sort of just sat there, groaning as she gently rubbed her hoof in your mane. You had a backbone! It was just you were dealing with a lot of shit, that’s all. Suddenly, however, you point forward the moment you notice more guards stepping out of the castle as they quickly began to form a line. Celestia was stepping out of the castle. She seemed intrigued, worried, and dutiful as she began to approach.
“Princess Celestia, you mustn't approach whatever this sleeping beast must be. Let us handle it!” A guards pony following her stated, must be one of her captains as he seemed worried about her stepping close to the car.
“Nonsense, I’ve seen something like this before in one of the gifts Anon has given both me and my sister some time ago. What I ask of you, captain, is to not overreact as to what we are about to witness.” Celestia said calmly as she stopped before the car, looking to her captain with a gentle expression.
“But we had reports of this monstrosity tearing through Canterlot! It was only a miracle that nopony got hurt.” The captain explained.
“A miracle? No. Well, at least not in that sense.” Celestia said. “I have it on good word that there was a good possibility that nopony would come to harm.”
Chrysalis immediately looked at you with a vicious stare. “Anon… She already knows it’s us. You showed her what a car was?!”
“What?! No I… Oh goddammit, the fucking video games! Of course she… Fuck! Wait, shouldn’t she still be pissed then? Since she has to know it’s you.” Goddammit. You had forgotten that you had given both Celestia and Luna a console with a bunch of games on it, of course she’d recognize that something like this would come from you. “She should be freaking out that you escaped.”
“And yet she is not. Fine then… Let us find out how she can be so calm about all this. Because this is seriously ruining my day already.” Chrysalis said as she pressed a button. The hood of the car began to open, revealing the both of you. The guards were flabbergasted, and prepared their weapons, only for Celestia to tell them to stand down. She had to repeat it to them twice, as they were prepared to fight off Chrysalis with their lives. But Celestia assured them that it would not be necessary.
“Chrysalis, Anon, welcome. Mind the guards, given the situation, I hadn’t had the time to brief them on your arrival.” Celestia said before giving Chrysalis a warm smile. “I cannot imagine how much restraint it took you to not hurt anypony in your little rampage. I can only assume you were trying to get a rise out of me. Am I wrong?”
What in the fuck?! Wut?! How the hell was she this calm?! How did she know you both were coming?! “Woah, woah, woah. Hold on, how did… How did you know we were coming?! There was no way, just no way!”
Chrysalis just eyed her carefully, looking at the guards for just a moment in case they suddenly pounced you and her. She then waited for Celestia’s answer.
Celestia’s horn glowed as a scroll appeared in front of the both of you. It seemed to be hastily written on, very very sloppy. Wait, a scroll? But, why was it sloppy? “What is that? What does it say?”
“A hastily written letter from Twilight explaining the situation. I have to say, if it wasn’t for this, I probably would have been angry with the both of you.” Celestia said with a soft chuckle.
“WHAT?!” Chrysalis said in explosive anger as she pointed back towards the city. “And what about the carnage we wreaked?! Does that not fill you with rage?!”
Celestia pondered on that for a moment, and shrugged. “As my captain explained, no ponies were harmed, so that just tells me you both restrained yourselves. Really, Discord does so much worse, a few skidmarks aren't going to be hard to clean up. Besides, this city could use this kind of excitement from time to time as long as it isn’t dangerous.”
Chrysalis just bashed her head into the wheel, setting off the horn. She just sat still, stupefied. “How do I keep losing? How?!”
“I-it’s okay, Chrysalis. R-remember, this is about helping them so you can get left alone in the forest.” You said, patting her back, trying to relieve her.
“Yes, despite the hastily written message, Twilight was quite clear in her predictions that you may try something like this first, as well as the real reason as to why you’re here. If it helps, I apologize about Shining Armor.” Celestia said, sincerely hoping that would relieve some of Chrysalis’s stress. “Though, and I hope this doesn’t upset you further, my sister did eventually tell me about your talks with her. I found it heartwarming to be honest.”
Wut? “So you weren’t even pissed about Chrysalis trying to, y’know, off Twilight?”
Celestia shook her head “No, or at least I began to calm down about it. I began to question if perhaps having a trial was too harsh after all, especially after learning about her own ordeals and friendships she had made.”
“You should have just had the trial…” Chrysalis said with a groan. “This is actually killing me.”
“Princess Celestia… Erm, does this mean we aren’t going to attack?” The captain asked, rather meekly, as he began to realize the situation wasn’t dangerous.
Celestia shook her head, and pointed back towards the entrance to the castle. “No, but do inform my sister that I’m off to see Chancellor Neighsay. If, of course, Chrysalis is willing to be my friend. If only for the day.”
Chrysalis said nothing, she just slid down her seat, letting her head rest back as she continued to make groaning noises.
So that’s it then, Celestia fucking wins again? Just like that?! “So you’re seriously not angry, at all, about what we did? That we escaped Shining Armor. Or, well, everything else?”
“As I said, I’m not anymore. There is no reason to be angry now that Chrysalis has opened her heart to friendship.” Celestia said as she began to look over the car. “And if I may compliment this vehicle, it is much nicer and fancier than my chariots.”
Chrysalis just groaned more. You’d think she would take that as a compliment, but coming from Celestia? No, it was just another blow to her ego.
You felt pretty down yourself. You hated when Celestia was this smug, even if she wasn’t acting smuggy at all. “Well, damn… I mean, we even knocked over that huge cake on the way over and everything.”
“As I s- Wait, what cake?” Celestia asked, as she suddenly looked rather stunned.
“This cake these chef ponies had. They looked like they were heading this way.” You said, downtrodden, bordering on upset.
Celestia’s eye suddenly twitched, she tensed. “Y-you don’t say? It wouldn’t have been a large white cake with lemon ice cream filling, would it?”
You shrugged. “Who knows? We didn’t care about it, we just assumed it was yours and scared them into knock- Wait…” You look to Celestia and see she was indeed tense, her smile faltering. You then began to smirk. “That was your cake, wasn’t it?”
Celestia said nothing, she took a deep breath, then pointed to the back seat. “Perhaps we should be on our-EEP” Suddenly, she let out a rather undignified and startled sound as Chrysalis began to rise up from her seat with a creepy and sadistic smile.
“Is that what set you off, Princess? How do you feel now? Let me ta-” Suddenly, she is interrupted by a quick bap from your hoof. She looks over to you, and sees you making a ‘I’m cold’ gesture. At first she seemed confused, and then, when she looked back at Celestia, she understood. She then leaned back, put her hoof around the wheel, and looked straight ahead. “Er, let me take you to this Neighsay. Who cares about a cake anyway? Anypony can bake a cake. Can you bake a cake, Celestia?”
“I… I can’t. I-” But Celestia, now confused by her sudden calmness and still baffled by the loss of her cake, gets interrupted as Chrysalis points to the back of her car.
“Whatever, I mean, you’re not angry, right? Nah, of course you’re not. You’re Celestia, the cool princess who doesn’t need a cake anyway or else she’ll get fat and lardy like they say in those newspapers.” Chrysalis said, acting calm and cool, chilling, showing no signs of any emotion other than her radiating amounts of radicalness.
“W-What?! I D-don’t-” But again Celestia is interrupted, this time by you.
Oh god, what a delicious moment. Oh, it was fattening. Just play it cool, let her be the one overreacting over nothing. You actually wished you were a changeling right now, just to taste it, just to taste how she feels. “Yo, Celestia. We really don’t have all day if we’re gonna see Neighsay. I mean, you’re not gonna cry over a cake, right?”
Celestia gulped, and began to slowly climb up to the rear of the car. She tried sitting like you and Chrysalis in the rear seats, but without buckling herself in. “N-no, of course not. I-I said I wasn’t angry, and so… I’m not.”
“Good, because I don’t want your tears on my seats… Just saying. Later, losers!” Chrysalis said as she waved to the guards, closing the roof over the car.
She then looked to you, as you looked to her. Then you saw it, she raised a hoof to you. She held it there. OH GOD YES! You get excited, and bump hooves with her. A Brohoof moment! Yes, mutual awesome goodness feelings. You both conquered Celestia! WOOOOOOO! You all blasted off as Celestia immediately slid to the right, slapping onto the side of the car with an 'oomph!'.
"Buckle up, Princess. It is going to be a bumpy ride." Chrysalis said with a satisfied smirk on her face.
“...So then, he’s in Manehatten. I’d say that’s inconvenient, but we all know I’d be lying. We'll just have to prepare for a little drive through the countryside.” Chrysalis snickered, and yet she didn’t know why. Although it was a long trip, which that alone would be annoying, she loved the idea of having a proper road trip in her new car, with the only thing hampering that feeling being Celestia herself. “That won’t be a problem for you, will it?”
“It shouldn’t.” Celestia said as politely as she could. She was staring outside the tinted windows. She could see many of the ponies still being spooked as the Queenmobile made its way out of Canterlot. She was sure they’d be fine. She herself was actually growing a little nervous, as there was always the possibility of Chrysalis going back on her word. She had prepared for this moment ever since she received the scroll from Twilight, and was doing her best in believing in her former student’s judgement. “I’m just surprised how luxurious it feels inside this machine. The seats are comfortable, and the air is perfect. I can see why you enjoy it so much.”
“Celestia, if you’re trying to make idle conversation, stop. I don’t need you to tell me what I already know.” Chrysalis said, keeping her eyes on the road, trying to ultimately ignore Celestia’s presence.
“Well, I can already tell this trip is going to be pleasant.” Celestia said silently to herself, tapping her hooves nervously on her seat. She wasn’t really scared, it really was nervousness. Not even for Chrysalis, or the car, or even how things could be with Neighsay. It seemed the ever confident Celestia was actually carrying some doubt about the situation.
But wait….
“Manehatten? What is Neighsay doing in Manehatten? The EEA isn’t there, is it?” You asked, confused as to why Neighsay would be in a city you were sure didn’t have any high end schools he’d care about.
Celestia shook her head. “No, he’s just on vacation.”
Wut? “Vacation? That guy takes vacations? Since when?”
“Since he suddenly started having terrible nightmares, and his last week of paperwork suddenly had such terrible writing errors.” Celestia said, her tone sounding disingenuous. “I suggested a vacation, as he was obviously still worried about our wager. So much so it was affecting his work”
“Hm? Is that the sound of deceit I hear? So, it seems you haven't changed a bit since you tricked Anon that one fine day...” Chrysalis said, her eyes never leaving the road, despite some intrigue filling her voice. “And for what reason did you and your sister feel the need to fool the poor chancellor, hm?”
You almost called Chrysalis out on that, considering she has no moral pedestal to stand on when it comes to fooling others. Though, knowing how things usually work, you felt the need to at least not have Chrysalis provoke Celestia in any way. “Chrysalis, come on, let's be cool, remember? Once this is over, you don’t need to worry about Celestia anymore.”
“It is very hard to be ‘cool’ when it is very apparent that she thinks she can do whatever she wants. And yet when I choose to do the same thing, I get condemned for it.” Chrysalis said, obviously not pleased that Celestia seems to do what she pleases, when she pleases, without consequence.
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I do not do it for myself, I do it for the foals of my school. I do it for Twilight. I do it for her students. I even did this for you and Anon, Chrysalis. Unlike you, I understand the importance of others’ lives.” Oof, that was a bit backhanded from Celestia. It was clear she was perturbed by Chrysalis’s analysis of her.
Suddenly, the car came to a screeching halt. Celestia, still unbuckled, flew forward from her seat as Chrysalis quickly opened the hood of the car. She had parked just outside the lake near the entrance of the city, sending Celestia right into it. You expected Chrysalis to laugh, but she was at least smirking as Celestia popped her head up from above the water, her eyebrows furrowed. Chrysalis just leaned forward on the wheel and stared at her. “I thought about yelling at you about your selfishness when it came to my children, but then I thought it’d be funnier to send you into the water. Funny how that works.”
Celestia just floated above the water for a moment, staring at Chrysalis, annoyed. But then, suddenly… “You’re right, it was funny.” Celestia said with a sudden smile. “And I apologize for my words. We are supposed to be at least acting like friends.” She said with a sudden cheerful smile.
Chrysalis growled, hopping out of her car in anger from Celestia’s sturdy yet jovial attitude. She hovered over her, frustrated. “You apologize?! You apologize to me after what I said? What I did?! Yet you don't apologize for what you had done to me?! You stole my kingdom from me! I hate you! How could you do that to me and yet fear the taking of your own kingdom!? Of your schools!? Of Twilight Sparkle herself!? What justification do you have?!” Her horn was starting to glow a quite fierce green color.
Oh shit! You hop out of the car, calling out to Chrysalis to try to calm her down. “Chrysalis, don’t do it! You’ll lose everything else if you do!” Dammit Celestia! Why are you provoking her like this?!
Celestia sighed, not flinching from Chrysalis’s verbal assault as she looked to her with a more sincere stare. “He’s right, Chrysalis. We cannot be angering each other like this.”
“We?! You did this!” Chrysalis said as she pointed at her, her horn starting to glow ever brighter. “Now answer my question! Or else I will finally take my revenge! Damned be the consequences!” Chrysalis’s anger was peaked, to the point her hidden wings reverted back to their seraphic form.
Celestia took a moment, and nodded towards her. “You’re right, it isn’t fair. It could even be said that Equestria itself is not fair to those with evil hearts. But my kingdom, Twilight, my want to protect them, to make sure I don’t lose them, is because I care about them, just as you do your children. The difference however, and we both know this, is that you were using your children for your own gains. You kept them in a form that always brought them hunger and suffering. Even if you fed them, they would always go hungry without love and friendship. Did you care for them? One can say yes, but then let me ask you this. If you feel that what you did has not caused them anguish in any way, then how do you feel now about yourself now that you’ve reached some form that does not require constant feeding on love?”
“You have no right to question me on that! These wings, that ‘form’ they’ve taken on. It is disgusting! A mockery to us all!” Chrysalis shouted.
“I suppose, considering how you have lived in your entire existence, that your words are true to you. But your children have found happiness nonetheless, even your captain has found happiness with his new family. And yet, he still considers himself your devout captain, ready to do whatever you ask him to do. Evil is not the way, Chrysalis. You could have your family back, if you only understood that the form you’re slowly taking on is in fact, your true form.” Celestia then sighed as she looked into Chrysalis’s eyes, it seemed all her words were doing were angering her further. “Hm, then perhaps this will help you understand instead. You truly wish to go back to the way things were. In fact, you wish for my kingdom to fall, and for you to take over Equestria and reign as its evil queen.”
“I do, because it is clear that you simply don’t understand anything about being a ruler yourself. I would be vastly superior to you.” Chrysalis said, really prepared to blast Celestia then and there.
“And what of Anon? Would he have a place in this cruel world you’d create?” Celestia asked.
Chrysalis looked down at you silently, then chuckled at Celestia. “He’d need a lot of conditioning, but of course. I’m not afraid to admit I like him as a friend, everypony knows at this point. Not to mention all the power I’d have with use of his horn.”
“And you’d use said power to bring the entire world itself, every facet of it, into your evil realm?” Celestia asked.
“Yes already! What is your point?!” Chrysalis growled, getting aggravated with all the questioning.
Oh shit… You see where she was going with this. “Chrysalis… I think I get what she’s talking about.”
“Oh do you, what is it then?!” Chrysalis said, shouting back at you.
“Er, do you remember what was going to happen because of Flim and Flam? In that other Equestria?” You asked.
“Why does that matter?! That’s not our Equestria!” Chrysalis shouted.
“Yeah, but, come on, it’s still an Equestria that could have happened, and it is bound by the same rules and stuff. So, y’know, what do you think would happen if you did conquer Equestria?” You asked her, hoping she’d get it this time.
“I’d rule over it, duh.” Chrysalis said in a mocking tone.
“And… What would happen after that? After you sucked out all the love and joy in the world?” You asked.
“If you mean what those two dolts were wo- Oh no.” Chrysalis suddenly shuddered in some sort of horror as she then peered down at Celestia. “That’s what you were getting at, with Equestria being unfair to evil beings.”
Celestia nodded. “The Wendigos are crueler than any evil in Equestria, and would destroy and freeze everything, including your new kingdom. It may be a sad truth to you, but this is why it is important to defend love, friendship, and family. All would be lost without that. I know you care for more than just Anon, Chrysalis. You’ve come so f-” Suddenly, in the middle of Celestia’s speech of truth and understanding, a cake suddenly falls from the sky and into her face, sending her back in the water for a moment before she came back out spitting and coughing.
“Well, that was mildly amusing.” Chrysalis said with a smirk. “How’s the cake, Princess?”
Celestia said nothing, the cake was ruined and soaked. And given the look in her eyes, that wide realization type of look? She knew that was her cake that you and Chrysalis had sent flying earlier.
“Wendigos, got it, being evil sucks. That’s the right word for it, right, Anon? It ‘sucks’?” Chrysalis said as she looked back down at you with a smirk.
Oh god, it took all you had not to laugh at Celestia. What perfect fucking timing, you didn’t need to hear that pretentious and obvious speech about what would happen if evil spread across Equestria. “Yep, that’s the right word. You alright, Chrysalis? I got worried there for a second.”
“Pft, you shouldn’t have. I know how to be cool, unlike our spaz of a princess there. Look at her ear twitching, as if that cake meant anything. Come on, let’s give her some time to herself to lament over how tasty it could have been. Ha, what an idiot of a princess, thinking I don’t understand what is at stake here. She’s so so soooooo lucky I’m willing to save everything she holds dear despite what she did to me, isn’t she, Anon?” Chrysalis said with a cackle as she returned to her car.
“Yeah, she kinda is, considering she was the one who instigated this bullshit. Hey, you want me to show you another song while she’s over there crying?” You asked Chrysalis as you looked over at Celestia one last time. She wasn’t crying, she just looked visibly annoyed.
“Oh yes! I’d actually would love that. We need to see if my car can save these songs in some sort of list for easier listening later.” Chrysalis said, calm, with glee. Despite the possible disaster that could have happened, you immediately perked up at the chance to share more human songs with her.
Celestia just continued to swim in place. She sighed, still annoyed. But a smile then slowly began to grow on her face. She was relieved nothing bad happened, and despite the humiliation she just took, she’d rather that than the entire situation going sour. Hell, despite Chrysalis’s insults, she was glad to see you get along with her, and was happy to know Chrysalis was understanding more and more about the magic of friendship in some form. She also learned what seemed to trigger her anger, and she knew she'd have to do her best not to instigate another fight.
“You know, Anon, I wasn’t expecting to do any head banging to a song called ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, but here we are. I was pleasantly surprised.” Chrysalis said, her eyes ever so focused on roads through the northern valley past Foal Mountain. Despite Celestia’s earlier comments back at Canterlot, Chrysalis seemed pretty chill about the actual drive to Manehatten.
“Trust me, nopony can resist that part… Except Princess Celestia apparently.” You looked back at Sunbutt, who was still just sitting there, patiently. Was she just nervous still? Was she internally angry about the cake? What was up with her? “Hey, are you alright?”
Celestia nodded “I am, I merely did not want to interfere with your bonding with Chrysalis.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes and groaned, shaking her head. “Of course you’d say something like that, when the truth is that we simply weren’t including you. You could say something if you want, or did you forget we have to reach some level of understanding so we can trick this Chancellor Neighsay? I know how to take a mission seriously, do you?”
Celestia actually seemed to take some offense to that remark, as if it actually insulted her that she couldn’t take something like this seriously. Or perhaps, less seriously than Chrysalis. “I believe we can do fine if we stop making such backhoofed remarks towards one another. As I said, I felt I should let you and Anon enjoy each other’s time. It seems to make you both happy, which in turns makes the situation less tense. I would hope, in that sense, it’d mean you would feel less friction around me when the time comes.”
Wut? “Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Like, the part where you and Chrysalis are supposed to get along I mean. Neighsay is an asshole and is going to try to make you both pissed off, and as great as me getting to actually have fun with Chrysalis is, you should be hanging out with us so you do not get as pissed off as he's gonna try to make you, instead of being ‘that guy’.” Shit, as fun as it was to connect with Chrysalis, it would all be for nothing if this meeting with Neighsay went sour.
“‘That guy?’ What does that mean?” Celestia raised an inquisitive eyebrow, confused by your words.
“As in, the pony who just kinda sits in the back while everypony has fun. You could have said something during that entire song, or joined along with us, or something. But you kind have just been sitting there doing nothing.” You explained to her. You didn’t like the fact that she wasn’t participating, considering what was ahead of all of you. You couldn’t shake the feeling she had some animosity towards Chrysalis. “Chrysalis said she’s willing to play along, but that’s gonna require effort from you too. You actually have to try to get along with her.”
“I don’t know what made you think I wasn’t willing to do that. As I said, I was letting you both bond with each other. We have plenty of time to practice for Neighsay. I’d like to think we’re both professionals in this matter, and that our goals are enough incentive for us not to be at each others’ throats.” Celestia said. “I realized I misspoke before. it is not hard to realize that I’m also trying to understand the two of you as well. The more I understand, the easier it’ll be for me to interact and integrate with the dynamic you both have.”
Oh… Wut? “Er, I… Okay. I guess that makes sense. So then, why don’t you give it a try then? You don’t mind, do you, Chrysalis?”
“That’s the whole point, isn’t it? I can put my personal grudges aside for a little girl time.” Chrysalis says rather calmly, no irritation in her tone.
“I’m glad, I was worried you were still upset.” You said to her.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. I can admit I have a few issues, Anon, but I’m not ‘upset’. Celestia is of royalty, same as I, and if a truce is needed to get her out of my face forever then fine, I’ll play along. So then, Celestia, choose a topic, give me something I can work with.” Chrysalis said as she looked back at her for a moment before putting her eyes back on the dirt road.
“A topic? Hm, well, to be honest, I’ve been so busy with so many things, anything I’d have would be rather boring to talk about. What about you, Anon? Have anything that might spark both our minds?” Celestia said as she laid back on her seat, making herself more comfortable.
“Uhhh, well, let’s see.” Hm, a topic both Chrysalis and Celestia could enjoy? Well, Chrysalis likes human stuff, and perhaps Celestia could get a little more invested in it. Nah, that’d never work, that’d cause a conflict for sure. Maybe just getting them to more closely understand each other would be a good start. “How about you both talk about what’d you do if you were in each other’s places?”
“What, if I pretended to be her? Do I even have to say it?” Chrysalis said, destroying Equestria obviously being the thing on her mind. At least you were thinking that.
“I think he means what we’d do if we were in each other’s places, with the expected responsibilities that come along with it.” Celestia said, putting a little more thought into it as she tapped her hoof under her chin. “Yes, this could be fun, Chrysalis. We’d just need to make sure none of our answers are upsetting to one another.”
Chrysalis groans, her tone becoming a little sharp and patronizing. “Oh, sure, that does sound like a good topic for the both of us, doesn’t it? I can be you, and try to rule Equestria properly, and you can be me, sulking in my manor in the forest with no kingdom to rule whatsoever.”
Celestia recoiled a bit from that, frowning. “Yes, I suppose I didn’t think of it like that. Well, ahrm, what if I thought of what I’d do before that incident, as an evil queen of a hive?”
“What? Before ‘that’ incident? Are you just trying to insult me whenever you can?” Chrysalis took her eyes off the road, looking back at her, her anger slowly starting to build as Celestia picks at her patience.
Celestia returned a nervous smile, trying to calm her. “No, I just meant-”
But you cut her off. Because that somewhat annoyed you too, and so if she wanted to mention the hive, then you’d mention… “Well, if that’s how you wanna do it, Celestia, that’s cool. Chrysalis could explain what she would have done with Luna one thousand years back.”
Both Celestia and Chrysalis responded with confusion. “What?”
“Yeah, you wanna talk about what you’d do with a hive? Well, wouldn’t it be interesting to hear what Chrysalis would have done with Luna? Or should I say Nightmare Moon?” You looked back at Celestia with an angry stare. You could swear she was trying to passively-aggressively piss Chrysalis off. “That’s fair, isn’t it? If you both want to understand each other, then that sounds like a good place to start.”
Chrysalis stops the car for a moment, sitting there silently as she thinks.
Celestia was silent as well, at first she seemed both frustrated and upset about the situation. Whether she was being passive aggressive or not, she also seemed to be doing her best with the situation itself. It was weird, you didn’t know how serious either of them were taking this. Hell, perhaps you should be regretting your own suggestion, as that would only serve to break them apart more than bring them together.
“Fine, I have some knowledge of how that went about, so I’ll go first. If I was Celestia at that time, I’d have listened to Princess Luna, and done everything in my power to make her more comfortable. However, don’t get the wrong idea, this wouldn’t be for her benefit. Having to deal with a threatening force and halving my ruling power over such a vast country like Equestria is less ideal than sharing my power with a sister who only handles the going ons of the night.” Chrysalis didn’t even look back at Celestia, she only began to drive again, keeping her emotions in check. “If you have any comments on that, now is the time to share them.”
Ah shit, you looked back at Celestia to see if she was annoyed, or even angry about that statement. But no, she was as serene and calm as ever.
“Hm, I can’t find any fault in that reasoning. I know the mistakes I committed in the past. I wouldn’t have been so disingenuous with my sister, but I understand I shouldn’t have been so arrogant, so sure that her grievances were a mere inconvenience.” Celestia said, remaining calm ,yet a little heartbroken as she spoke.
Okay, that went better than you expected so far. “So you’re not upset or anything?”
Chrysalis let out a scoff. “Why should she be? She should understand how selfish she really is. She’s no better than I am. The only difference is that I don’t hide it, I don’t need to.”
It was then Celestia raised an eyebrow, as that seemed to strike a chord. “Arrogant as I may have been, or perhaps even be. I don’t believe I’m as selfish as you make me out to be.”
Hmph, she doesn’t think that, does she? Maybe this was even more of a risk, but if Celestia wasn’t gonna piss off Chrysalis, accidental or otherwise, she needed to be knocked down a few pegs. “Celestia, allow me to expand on a conversation we once had before. In fact, let me just fucking say it. You literally let your galas go out of control, and even on the threat of a pony being thrown into another dimension, you literally do nothing. And you know why? It's because your galas are boring and the only fun you get from them is when they go wrong.” You could see it in her eyes, Celestia looked quite shocked from your words, as if she knew they were the truth.
“Oh, I felt that. Figuratively, and even literally. Where did this all come from, Anon?” Chrysalis asked, a pleased yet insidious smile on her face as she even seemed to contemplate giving you some physical affection.
“I know this doesn’t sound like I’m trying to make things work. But if you both are really gonna work together on this, then we need to get your worst qualities out in the open. Even if you enjoy bringing that out yourself, Chrysalis. I can’t just sit down and say nothing, there’s a lot riding on this. And that means, Celestia, that you need to get over yourself, stop being passive aggressive, stop being a bitch, and actually try to be Chrysalis’s friend. Like, you think you’re this paragon of friendship and shit, but you can be even shittier than Discord sometimes. I get called high and mighty all the time, and just being around you, I think I understand how Sweetie Belle feels sometimes, because I think what she sees in me is what I see in you. So just fucking stop, and understand this is how Chrysalis is, because the fact you’re even in this car with your head still on your neck, I think, shows how much Chrysalis is willing to deal with your bullshit despite the fact you took her kingdom from her. Do you get it? Do you understand now?” You were being serious. This was never going to work if Celestia persisted in pushing Chrysalis’s buttons or acting like she’s above the both of you. Both would not be tolerated.
Both Chrysalis and Celestia went silent. Chrysalis was impressed, more impressed than she ever was with you before, or just in the longest of whiles. Celestia was just stunned, unmoving, her face blank, it almost looked like she had become a statue. You thought about calling out to her, to see if she’d respond. But she closed her eyes, and did her best to relieve her tense thoughts with a long sigh. “Hm, I remember that, I didn’t even make a real attempt to stop it, I just let Fluttershy handle things, even when it was apparent that things were getting out of hoof. Chrysalis, I must ask, do you really think we can reach some sort of solidarity in this endeavor?”
“Tch, after that? I think I finally care about not letting our little ‘Hero colt’ down. Though, as I have mentioned before, as much as I hate it, I am willing to do this if it’ll get you out of my mane. Anon is right, Princess, as much as I loathe you, the prize awaiting me at the end of all this is too important to me. So that just leaves you, are you truly willing to just stop your nonsense and actually attempt to not piss me off?” Chrysalis asked, as she pointed forward. “Because Manehatten is right there, and I don’t want to hear you whine about my driving from within the city. I already decided to refrain from any theatrics, as entertaining as that would have been.”
“I can, I just needed things put into perspective, it seems. In fact, it would not upset you if I just decided to answer my part of the hypothetical, would it?” Celestia asked, once again becoming her usual calm and cool self.
“Does the word ‘reform’ come up in any part of your answer?” Chrysalis asked, slowing her speed as she began to actually drive into the city limits. Surprisingly, despite some of the ponies being fearful, others seemed to be staring in awe. Though, with Chrysalis driving as slow as she was now, and even adhering to the way the chariots, carts, and carriages move about the city.
“Actually, no. If I was the queen of the changelings, then it’d be understood that I’d be evil. You, more than Anon, know what my sister and I were like when we were younger. We not only had the elements, and even Starswirl at our side, but we also did not tolerate villainy as much as we do now. Truthfully, we were unstoppable back then. I mean no offense, but you, nor Discord, Sombra, and even Lord Tirek were truly capable of stopping us. That being said, this hypothetical could be explained as thus: As a changeling queen, I’d have handled things just as I did during the earlier days of my rulership. Directly, only without any kind of mercy, such as sealing our enemies away. I'd just make them... Gone.” Celestia said, her tone almost matching the sinister tones of Chrysalis when she gets one of her evil ideas.
“Seriously? You would have ended ponies just like that?” You asked, skeptical of her words. It didn’t seem like something she’d do, or even say. Although, if she came to really understand what you had scolded her about, then maybe she actually did understand.
“I would have trained my entire hive to do that. Destroy, rather than banish, my enemies. And then harvest the townsponies like a harvest in Sweet Apple Acres. Any hesitancy or unneeded theatrics would not be shown from me, and would be the end of any changeling who dares to dawdle in my presence.” Celestia ends her words on a cruel note. She then clears her throat, and beams a sunny smile. “Of course, this is a hypothetical. I hope it meets your standards. Both of your standards.”
“I… Uh, yeah, was not expecting that. Um, Chrysalis, what do you think?” You asked, hoping no part of that insulted her.
Chrysalis paused, then let out a light chuckle. “I think it was over done, but that certainly is a start. Of course, that can be you trying to get on my good side. Considering what is ahead of us, that isn’t good enough. So, how about this then? Giant bugs, or humans? Who would you root for in a giant space war? Try not to think too hard about why I’d ask that question or what it means, just answer it.”
Celestia actually let out a near childish giggle to that question. “Oh, you must be talking about that documentary Twilight had written to me about. I’d rather not make a choice without having watched it myself, but given Anon is with us, I’ll just say humans. Oh, Twilight had mentioned vague details about some sort of ‘brain bug’. In fact, her hoofwriting on the mere mention of it was very shaky compared to the rest of her letters on it. I have to admit, I feel like I missed a good moment of seeing my old student nearly jump out of her own skin.”
“Okay, you can stop. Do you really expect me to believe you’d want to see Twilight Sparkle scared out of her mind?” Chrysalis asked, in disbelief. She then suddenly became angry as she slammed her hoof on the horn of the car. “Get out of the way! Agh, the ponies of this city have no sense of preservation whatsoever! And I can’t even take advantage of that! This sucks!”
“As Anon explained, I usually wish for my galas and other such events to go awry. As long as it doesn’t leave any permanent trauma, or at least, none she can’t get over, And that it isn’t over anything serious, then seeing Twilight have one of her freakouts is actually quite entertaining." Celestia said with a girlish giggle. “I was her teacher. I can assure you that I kept her on the edge of her hooves at many points of her tutelage”
“Well, well, color me impressed. I think we can make something work, Celestia, if only for this moment.” Chrysalis said, smirking, unexpectedly impressed with Celestia’s words.
“And now that I better understand your mindset, not only do I too think we can work together better on this, but we can even give Neighsay a bit of a shock. Nothing too bad, mind you, just for a bit of a laugh, and perhaps at least one thing we can share with each other.” Celestia said, smirking back at her.
Chrysalis shook her head as she raised her hoof and slowly waved it. “We can do that, but don’t think that we’ll actually be sharing anything. We are getting this done, you are getting Shining Armor off my back, and I’m going to take some well deserved beauty sleep after all this.”
You were silent at this point. You were smiling on the inside, happy to see Chrysalis and Celestia finally come to some sort of understanding. You did it, Anon. For once, you were the one knocking some sense into someone’s skull, and you didn’t even need to bash it in with your invincible head. It was time, time to see Neighsay, and show him what you all were made of.
“Holy crap, this place looks like a dumpster fire. He’s here, really?!” Celestia had guided both you and Chrysalis through the streets of the city and into the slummier part of town. What stood before the three of you was a row of buildings, this particular hotel building looking very ragged with its busted up bricks, tilted ‘hotel’ sign, damaged windows, and creaking emergency stairs. It surprised you how Neighsay could be in such a place. “How?! Why?! Why would he be here?”
“It’s how he wanted to enjoy his vacation. He asked to stay in a place where nopony would think to look for him so he could focus on… Well, he didn’t say. But I’m sure it has something to do with his work.” Celestia said, before looking to Chrysalis with a soft yet coy grin. “Are you ready… Sister?”
“Oh, don’t you dare.” Chrysalis huffed. Or rather, Princess Luna huffed, as she crossed her forehooves and grumbled. “I can’t believe this is the least conspicuous form I could take. Sister to you? Pah, I’d rather be Twilight Sparkle.”
“Christ, Chrysalis, really? Do you really wanna try to sound like Twilight? Do you really wanna nag every pony you see about ‘what is right’?” You asked her. Truly, you felt Luna would be the better fit in this situation over Twilight. Both for her sanity, and to fool the ponies who have gathered around her car to gawk in awe and take photographs. It'd look better if 'Luna' and Celestia were together.
“Good point, but this is still a problem. Look at those fools outside, they aren't even terrified. The ponies of Canterlot were running in fear from my mighty machine.” Chrysalis said as she circled her hoof along the horn. “They didn't even run when I slammed on the horn.”
“Well, Chrysalis, this is Manehatten. In this city, many wonders from all across Equestria can be found here. From every different culture, from different walks of life. What ponies found terrifying in Canterlot, ponies here find fascinating. I think you should be proud.” Celestia said to her, like a mother to a daughter. Or perhaps sister to sister. She wanted to try to connect to her any way she could, especially with the meeting with Neighsay being so near.
“And perhaps I would be, except when I step out, they’ll think it’s Luna’s car. Ugh, I won’t even get the recognition I deserve!” Chrysalis grumbles again as she gives a little pout. “I really am sick of ponies.”
“Chrysalis, come on. Trust me, you do not want the recognition from a place like this. There’s these guys called the ‘paparazzi’ that will annoy you and follow you wherever you go, and try to get information out of you. Trust me, there was this one chick who’d show up out of nowhere and wouldn’t leave me alone. She even hired a damned ninja!” You shivered at the thought of having to properly deal with Good News again without some chaotic magic as back up.
“I know what the paparazzi are, Anon. But… Hmmm, that would be annoying, and would defeat the purpose of becoming the ‘Empress Hermit of the Everfree’.” Chrysalis said, giving the ponies outside a distasteful stare.
Wut? “Empress Hermit of the Everfree? Geez, Chrysalis, come on, that’s awful.” You shook your head as you kept yourself from giggling. “Why would you even give yourself a title like that?”
“Because I can, I did, and it’s a good title. Just my name alone is so plain.” Chrysalis stated before giving a small shrug. “And besides, I think little Diamond would love me to have that title, don’t you think?”
Gah! Dammit, using Diamond is such a low blow. “I-I mean, I guess she would. She’d probably say it has a nice ring to it or it rolls off the tongue pretty good or something like that.”
“Exactly.” Chrysalis said with a self satisfied smirk as she placed her hoof on the button that would open the hood of the car. “Now then, are we all ready to go?”
“I am. I have let go of any fears I have for this moment, because I know we can do it.” Celestia said as she took a deep calming breath.
Christ, you had to look away and roll your eyes. That was a bit too tropey and stereotypical for your tastes. “Yeah, uh, how are we going to handle the crowd though?”
“You leave that to me.” Chrysalis says as she presses the button, causing the hood to slowly pull back and open. “I can handle these fools.”
Once the hood opened, there were pictures being taken of the Luna formed Chrysalis, Celestia, and you. Just mad amounts of snapshots and ponies in awe to see the princesses and the hero colt in such a weird carriage. It didn’t take long for some of the newsponies that had gathered to congregate near Chrysalis, to question her on the vehicle, since she seemed closest to what they deemed was all the control mechanisms.
“Princess Luna?! Princess Celestia?! What is this? Is this a creation by the Hero Colt?” “Is this a new weapon created in Canterlot?” “Or a new luxury carriage? Where are the ponies who pull it? How does it work?”
“Ahrm” Chrysalis cleared her throat as she raised her hoof, calling for silence. “This grand carriage is called an automobile. It is a glorious vehicle in which one can drive and ride in luxury. It is also used for combat, able to destroy adversaries who, er, threaten the gentle ponies of this land. Also, this is my sister’s car and you should bother her instead.” And with that, Chrysalis quickly vacated the car as all eyes suddenly fell on Celestia.
“Wha, what?! Wait?! Huh?!” Celestia was caught by surprise as cameras and microphones were suddenly shoved in her face, as ponies tried to gauge more information out of her.
“What just happ-woooop!” You suddenly felt a tug at the scruff of your neck as Chrysalis quickly pulled you out of the car with her magic and brought you inside the hotel.
“Well, that was fun. Let… See? Hm, this place doesn’t look any better inside either, it seems.” Chrysalis was right. The place was very run down in its presentation. Wooden chairs with wobbly legs, cobwebs along the walls, the lobby smelled rather old as well… Somehow. Hell, even the front desk has warps and cracks in its wooden finish. And… Ah ha, there was the receptionist. An old yellowish pony, dull in fur color, and a white mane so floofy it covered his eyes. He seemed to not have noticed you and Chrysalis as he stayed focused on his book.
“You know Celestia is gonna be pissed you did that, right? Not that I care, but we’re supposed to be working together.” You explained to Chrysalis.
“And we are. One of us had to take the bullet, it might as well be her. Think about it, Anon, if you want this to be some sort of friendship thing, then I just saved Luna from being bothered in her sleep by stupid clout seeking ponies. If Celestia cares about her sister, then she’ll just deal with it.” Chrysalis explains, mockingly seeming insulted by your words.
“Huh, well, I guess that makes sense. Still, we can’t just leave her ou-” But your words are suddenly cut off as Celestia suddenly appears before the both of you. She then rushes towards the door and hits it with some sort of spell that keeps it from opening. “Never mind.”
Celestia was huffing and puffing as she stood in front of the door, she then began to speak as she faced away from the both of you. “Excuse me, but I thou-” But before she could finish her sentence, almost in a sing-song fashion, Chrysalis answered her predictable question.
“As I just told him, I did it for the sake of your sister. What, did you want the paparazzi to bother your sister or something? To trouble her in her time of sleep? Did you not think this all the way through before even attempting to ask such a stupid question?” Chrysalis said, hammering in her questions aggressively at Celestia.
“What?! N-no! I just-” But Chrysalis cuts her off yet again.
Chrysalis nods and then approaches the desk. “Then? Think before you speak next time, please.” Chrysalis then slams her hoof on the top of the desk to gain the receptionist's attention. “You, receptionist, we’re looking for information.”
The pony slowly lowers his book, and peers slowly at Celestia, then at Chrysalis. “Grandpa? Grandma? What are you both doing here? And out of the ground?”
Chrysalis was confused, heavily confused as she simply answered. “What?”
“Ah, ahrm, Love Suite has been getting on in the years. He has trouble with his eyesight, so you have to forgive him.” Celestia said as she slowly approached the desk and more politely addressed him. “Excuse me, Mr. Suite, but can you tell us what room a Chancellor Neighsay might be in? It’s very important.”
“The creepy vampony? Well, I guess I can tell you, Grandpa. He’s in room ‘Two oh one’. Yep, set him up in the one pony special in case he tries to bring in dumb mares for his dark ritual things. Now, I ain’t worried about you and grandma seeing as you two haven’t really had the tomato juices flowing in about thirty years or so, so your necks should be fine.” Love Suite explains as he pointed to the staircase with the slightly twisted steps. “Just head on up. And if you’re here just to get rid of him, wait until after he’s paid for the month, alright?”
“Er, yes, we’ll… Keep that in mind.” Celestia said, looking rather nervous as she beamed him an awkward smile.
“Oh, one last thing. That bear you got there, is he trained? Can’t let him go roaming around if he doesn’t know how to use the bathroom. Mauling some of my customers is fine though, some of em don’t pay. But I don’t do the doodoo, understand?” Suite explained as his head turned towards you.
Bear? BEAR?! THAT SHIT AGAIN?! WHY IS IT THAT EVERY OLD GEEZER AND BROAD SEE YOU AS A FUCKING BEAR?! “Okay, no, fuck that! Listen here buddy, how do I look like a bear?! I don’t even have the same color scheme as a bear! And I talk, full sentences, see?! Open up your eyes, bro! I’m a pony, see?! How can you see them as ponies, but me as a-AHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP!!!! AHHHH!!!” While you were ranting, a glow suddenly came from Suite’s floofy mane as you suddenly began to fly up then fall down multiple times, slamming into both the floor and the ceiling. “He’s a unicorn?! GYAH! HELP! GEEZ! AGH!”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes and looks over at Suite as she points at you. “Excuse me, but can you let my stupid talking pet bear down? He knows how to use the bathroom, and I promise he’ll be a good little bear from now on.”
“Mmmmmm, okay.” Suite says with a shrug as he lets you go while you’re in mid air, causing you to fall down with a crash. “But only because you swing a mean sword, Grandma.”
“Right…” Chrysalis said awkwardly as she picks up your crushed and bashed form from the ground with her magic and begins to walk upstairs as she carries you along. “Come along, husband of mine, we have a vampony to talk to, or slay, or whatever. I don't know, this is too weird for me.”
“Um… Alright, I… Hm. Huh... Do I look like an old stallion?” Celestia didn’t know how to feel about any of that.
"Yes, now come on already." Chrysalis barked as she slung you onto her back to carry you like a cheap sack.
Celestia felt a little self conscious about Chrysalis words, but only for a moment until she realized how silly the situation was in the first place. She then felt bad for you, and she wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction at all from Suite. But the way Chrysalis immediately saved you without hesitation before she even could. The old Chrysalis, in her mind, would have let someone like you suffer, and not even attempt to rescue you herself. Yes, she was sure now. One hundred percent, that the relationship between you and her was sound, even if Chrysalis seemed to be an ass about it.
Chapter 212 - The Final Confrontation with Neighsay
“Well, this is it.” You said, staring at door 201, among a set of doors across a dirty and moldy looking hallway. “So, are we good? Anypony wanna say something before we knock?” You said as you looked towards Chrysalis and Celestia, expecting one of them to say something about the situation.
“I do. I want to remind you both that Neighsay is incredibly stubborn. He will try to come up with a reason to discredit us, or prove that you’re still dangerous, Chrysalis.” Celestia states “I’m serious when I say we will need to stay the course if we are to win against him.”
“Ugh…” Chrysalis groaned. “I can handle a cranky stallion, Celestia. I can also handle my temper. Again, fooling idiots is my specialty. If he becomes too aggressive, I’ll cry and become hurt. If he tries to twist my words, I’ll twist his. If he tries to attack me, I’ll become a scared little bug. It’s humiliating, yes, but it’ll get me what I want and you out of my mane.”
“I suppose that’s all I can ask for then. How about you, Anon? Do you have any thoughts before we get his attention?” Celestia asked you. A slight sense of nervousness growing in her voice. After Chrysalis’s answer, I’d be worried too. She could say anything she wants, but she hasn’t had that much control of her temper for awhile now. You’d have to hope her eyes being on the prize would keep her in check.
“I’m good.” You say as you sigh, trying to relax yourself. “I’ve dealt with the guy a few times before. I’m not gonna let him push me around. Besides, me and Chrysalis are a team. Right, Chrysalis?”
Chrysalis smirked and actually let out a pleased little titter. “I’m going to have to admit it. If he’s anything like those two idiots, this will be a breeze for the both of us. Celestia, I’d suggest doing your thing… I guess. But try to take notes, you might learn something.”
Celestia smirked then scoffed. “So we really are doing it this way, are we? Well, I think you’ll both be surprised how tricky I can be, while still being truthful.”
“Hm? Are you willing to trick the Chancellor into getting what you desire, Celestia?” Chrysalis asked, with her usual dark form of curiosity.
“In this case? Yes. Even if it is more of a dishonest trick… Well… Hm…” Celestia shrugged as she noticed her own hypocrisy. “Oh well, its not as if I command the elements anymore.”
Woah. “Seriously? Didn’t know you had it in you, Celestia” It was pretty surprising to you.
“I believe I once nearly let a pony be thrown into another dimension, among a few other things I’ve done. I’m willing to deceive one more time, if it is for the good of my friends, my kingdom, and the foals.” Celestia said as her smile became warm and loving, giving you a wink.
Okay then, you get the idea, you called her out and now she’s figured out how to use it to her advantage as well. Was that really weird to you? Or was it weird because you, Chrysalis, and Celestia were about to triple team Neighsay? Something about that wording in your head bothered you, yet removing Neighsay from said equation made you feel fuzzy. No, focus, Anon!
“Hm, we’ll see…” Chrysalis said, skeptical if Celestia was truly capable of pulling it off. “So, who’s going to knock on the door?”
“I shall, but be alert, Neighsay will be at the ready the moment he sees us.” Celestia said as she raised her hoof, and gave the door a gentle knock.
It didn’t take long for the peephole on the door to open to reveal an eye. There were no words said as it looked upon the three of you, then disappeared as the peephole was suddenly closed. You could then hear locks clicking as the door slowly opens to reveal the Chancellor himself. He looked mostly the same, his mane still having that Dracula like comb back, his beard still evil looking. The only change was his Hawaiian like shirt he was wearing, which didn’t fit his look at all. “Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? And… Anon? Oh no, it really has happened, hasn’t it? Well…” Neighsay opened the door wider, and stepped aside to let the three of you through. “Come in, come in. I’m sure there is much to discuss.”
Wut? “Uh, what do you mean by ‘it really has happened’?” You asked as you stepped inside first. Woah, the inside of the room was in huge contrast with the rest of the hotel. Everything was clean, well kept, even new seeming. The floor was swept, the colors vibrant, and on the table seemed to be a warm cup of tea and stacks and stacks of papers.
“Indeed, I’m rather confused as well. Were you expecting us, Chancellor?” Celestia asked, leaning on caution due to the fact that Neighsay almost seemed relieved to see the three of you.
“Not exactly, it is more that I was expecting some sort of royal visit after Princess Twilight most obviously had caused some sort of war between Equestria and… Well, it was the hippogriffs, wasn’t it?” Neighsay asked, almost seeming positively yet negatively excited on the false notion that something happened at the school.
“Oh…” Chrysalis chuckled “I’m sorry to disappoint the both of us, Chancellor, but this has nothing to do with Princess Twilight herself.” Chrysalis said as she gave Celestia a wink.
“Hrm? I wasn’t aware you shared my sentime- Wait…” Neighsay looked upon Celestia, looking upon her up and down, before turning his head slightly and peering deep into her eyes. “Is this about the wager?”
“Well, yes. But it was something I didn’t expect we’d be chatting about so soon. Perhaps you’d like to sit down for this, share your tea with us perhaps.” Celestia said, trying to be as polite and proper with Neighsay as possible.
“With this kind of news? No, I think we should get it out of the way. As you can see, I’ve been spending my vacation cleaning this vile room up into something respectable, while also practicing my hoofwriting over and over until I can keep my quill steady. Though, I have to admit, I don’t think whatever has been driving me to making the mistakes I have made has manifested itself during my vacation, as my writing seems fine. Ah, but I digress, the wager. I have to admit, Princess Celestia, I had expected you to concede to me after my vacation was over, but I suppose such an evil creature such as the queen of the changelings is beyond help.” Neighsay said as he used his magic to bring over his tea and take a sip. He closed his eyes, sighed, then smiled towards Celestia with a warmer yet arrogant smirk. “But you needn’t fret too much. I’ve decided that any changes to your school would be too drastic. In other words, and despite my current opinion of you, there is no point changing anything when the results your school produces are good enough to produce an alicorn princess… Even if said princess is delusional. No, Princess Twilight’s school will suffice, as it doesn’t really serve a purpose anyway.”
Oh god, this fucking bastard. You groan and just let him know yourself, rather bluntly, that he was wrong. “Holy sh-... Why would we be here if we lost the bet? That’s stupid! We won, Chancellor Jackass.”
“Chancellor Jackass? I don’t think I’ve heard of that nickname before, but it does seem to have some nice ri- Wait, what?! You’re here to declare yourselves the winner?!” Neighsay said as he spat out his tea, even dropping the cup on the floor as it shattered, as he gave Celestia a wide eyed and shaken look. “Surely you jest! That’s impossible! You are aware one of the conditions of winning the wager is to produce proof of such a claim, correct?”
“And I believe that’s my cue.” And without an actual cue from you or Celestia, Chrysalis transforms from Luna back to her original form, though she doesn’t hide her seraphic wings this time around. “Hello, Chancellor, I’ve so been wanting to meet you.”
Neighsay froze, he started to swallow rapidly as he stared upon Chrysalis. “She’s here…”
“Hm? Well, that was easy. I expectedhmmm?!” Suddenly, Chrysalis found herself floating in mid air, being held in some sort of stasis. “Okay, I see where this is going.”
“Neighsay? What are you doing?! Let her go!” You shouted. Neighsay, despite his initial shock, immediately prepared himself to restrain Chrysalis, believing she was on the attack. And even without your chaos magic, you’d still toss his tea in his face if you had to, the fuck was he doing?
“Back off! Can’t you see she disguised herself as Princess Luna to get close to me?” Neighsay said to you as he looked to Celestia. “Princess! We need to banish her immediately!”
“Chancellor, would you mind letting my friend down? I already knew she was pretending to be my sister, it was the only way to get her here without arousing suspicion.” Celestia said calmly, quietly enjoying Chrysalis’s position before looking to her with a smirk. “I’m sorry, Chrysalis. He didn’t frighten you too badly, I hope.”
“Without arousing suspicion?! Your friend?! What trickery is this?!” Neighsay said, bewildered by the reality that lay before him, unwilling to let Chrysalis down.
“It’s not a trick! Let her down, she hasn’t even done anything to you!” You shouted at him, ready to blow him away if he tried anything on Chrysalis. You didn’t know how you’d blow him away, but goddammit you would.
“She hasn’t… Yet. Do you expect me to believe she doesn’t have the both of you in some sort of trance? She is an ancient evil who has never shown even an ounce of good. And now you expect me to just let her roam about? You expect me to believe she came here of her own free will? To help you both win this wager? Tell me, what does she get out of this? Why would she want to save Princess Twilight’s atrocious little school?” Neighsay demanded answers, he wasn’t going to back down without some sort of fight.
“Trust me, I agree with you, that school is atrocious. If it was up to me, I’d help you close down that school just for the satisfaction of seeing Twilight suffer.” Chrysalis said, with quite the agreeing yet sinister tone. But then she sighed, and looked over to Celestia with disappointment. “...But, Celestia is my friend, as is Anon. They asked me to come here to settle the wager and save Twilight’s school, and that is what I’m doing. As for what I get out of this? Nothing, I gain nothing from any of this. Anon has given me a home in the forest, and I’d rather just get back to that before I regret even coming here. That regret being not turning you to ash for assaulting me like this. It is taking a lot of my patience not to obliterate you right now.” Chrysalis calmly explained as she looked to her right forehoof boredly.
“Are you threatening me? Are you aware of the hold I have on you right now?” Neighsay said, feeling he had the upper hand.
“Yes, I believe I explained that I was in your clutches and that fighting back is something I’d do if you continue this course of action. You’re assaulting a queen, you, not me. So before I actually do anything, let me just ask, is it normal for idiots like you to make the first move and not expect retaliation? Or let me put it in simpler words for your feeble little mind. You’re being rude and I don’t like it.” Chrysalis said as regally as she could before turning to you with a pout. “Anon, he’s being a bwig bully. I came here to help and now I feel like a bad little mare.”
“Geez, Chancellor, you really are that guy, aren’t you? You attack without warning, you make my friend feel bad, you’re kinda sorta committing treason attacking a friend of the princess who means no harm, and you’re being a shitty sore loser. Tch tch.” You shake your head at him, dismayed by his shameful display. “Quite frankly, this is pretty pathetic.”
Finally, FINALLY, Chancellor Neighsay seems to buckle under pressure, and from your words no less. He gulps, then looks towards Celestia with a hard stare as Celestia gives him a cool discerning one. “H-he’s making it sound like I’m the villain here. But you, Princess Celestia, you understand how this looks, don’t you?”
Celestia nodded. “Yes…” She then shrugged. “I do understand that a pony stands before me who can’t take a loss, and is willing to incite an entire war because he can’t accept defeat. Chancellor, you haven’t even given her a chance yet. If you want her to do anything evil at this moment, it’d be out of retaliation.”
“In other words, it’d be your fault. Like, geez, come on. Heck, why are you so invested in this anyway? You’re some head of an education society, so why does this bother you so much?” You had to know. You had heard he loved Equestria, you knew he hated the five non-pony students at the school, but what gave him the right to interfere with Chrysalis’s reformation? Like, at all. But of course, he was gonna give you the same old shtick.
“Because it is also my duty to protect Equestria, on my own terms, with education being my very battlefield. You may not realize this, but if she is pretending to be reformed, and she is allowed to do as she pleases, It’d create a sense of validation for Princess Twilight’s school to exist. Then, when this degenerate being reveals her true intentions, all those foals, everypony who had learned friendship from that princess who doesn’t truly understand it, would be devastated and lost, perhaps beyond saving. Not to mention that Equestria itself would be in danger, probably moreso, as this ‘queen’ would have access to secrets and places she shouldn’t have. So, do you understand now? Do you understand why I must seal her away into Tartarus?” Neighsay seemed dead serious in his words. Dammit, the guy really wasn’t a villain, he was just a fucking equivalent to an evangelical crusader. At least it puts away any last doubts you had about him allying with the Storm King.
“I understand your concern, but you also must understand that she’s not only my friend, but that I was also her biggest enemy. If she wanted to try anything, she’d have made an attempt on my life when she had the chance.” Celestia explained.
“I also understand your concern, simply because it’s good to know I’m fearsome in your eyes. But, she’s right, she completely ruined my life and for the longest time, all I ever wanted to see from her is the daisies rising up from her grave. And yet, here we are, me trying to save her former student’s school because she’s now my friend. And I’m sure you’re putting it together in your head right now, the only reason all of this happened was due to my best friend, Anon. Yes, it’s strange a girl like me would be best friends with a colt like him, but he’s such a little darling when he wants to be.” Chrysalis explained with a snicker before looking to Neighsay with vicious eyes. “NOW LET ME DOWN! IT SHOULD BE CLEAR BY NOW THAT I’M NOT HERE TO DESTROY ANYPONY! BUT KEEP THIS UP! KEEP THIS UP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY ME!”
“Again, Chancellor, you lost. So I’m just gonna ask one more time. Please let down my friend before she loses it, okay? You're making her angry.” You tried to stay calm. But really, god, you wanted to at least slap his shit.
Neighsay was twitching more and more. He still hadn’t loosened his grip on Chrysalis, but he wasn’t saying anything either.
Fine then, if he was going to be this much of an asshole, then it looked like you were going to have to go with plan B. Suddenly, you began to become dramatic as you looked towards the window. “Chrysalis! My friend, Chrysalis! I can’t, I just can’t! I can’t continue to exist knowing Neighsay is going to take you away from me forever. I’m going to end myself by jumping out that window!” You say as you point to the closed window next to the bed. ”That window right there, going to jump right out! Nopony try to stop me! Because I don’t feel like living anymore.” You said as you gave Chrysalis a wink.
Chrysalis was a little confused at first, but then suddenly she began to also speak in a dramatic way. “Anon! My friend, do not do it! Do not jump out that window! If you do, and I lose you, then I will take everything back. I will destroy you, Neighsay. And Celestia, I will take pleasure in ending you for causing Anon to jump out that window! Everypony will know my fury, and it will be all thanks to you, Chancellor!”
“What? What are you both talking about?” Celestia said in confusion.
Neighsay snapped out his stunned stupor upon hearing the poor acting from you and Chrysalis, as well as noticing that Celestia seemed confused about it as well. “What is this? I should have known this was some sort of-” But before Neighsay could finish his sentence, you suddenly just… Flew out the window, screaming in confusion. It was so horrid and stunning that Neighsay once again froze, and even dropped Chrysalis from his spell.
“Nooooo! Anon, I was too late!” Celestia said as she reached towards the window, her horn softly glowing for some reason.
Chrysalis slowly stood up and dusted herself off, then slowly walked towards Celestia without garnering notice from Neighsay and whispered. “Did you just throw him out the window?”
Celestia then whispered back with a nod. “Yes, I didn’t realize what was going on immediately, but I picked up on it. Good trick. So, when do you reel him back in?”
“Me? I didn’t catch him, I thought you were holding him, your horn is glowing after all.” Chrysalis said.
“I…” Celestia gulped, as she began to tense up. “My horn was glowing to try to counter any spell the Chancellor would try on you, as I thought there was a chance this wouldn’t work.”
“Ah, that makes sense.” Chrysalis said as she began to calmly peer over to Neighsay, who had fallen to the ground, looking to his own hooves in shock.
“W-what?! Aren’t you worried?! Shouldn’t we get to him as soon as possible?” Celestia said, shocked to see Chrysalis’s calm demeanor, and horrified that she herself may have actually killed you.
“Bah, he’ll be fine. Are you seeing this? He’s having a mental breakdown, that’s hilarious. Relax, Princess, we’re about to see a real show.” Chrysalis said as she plopped onto her butt, and just observed the grieving Neighsay, who slowly walked over to the window, and began to break down before he could reach it. “These are the times you wish you had some snacks to enhance the moment.”
“...” Celestia froze, having suddenly realized you may have actually died. She was completely speechless.
Chrysalis gives her a gentle shove to the side and grins at her. “Come on, enjoy the moment. If you think a one story fall is going to end Anon, then you’re worrying too much.”
“Are you going to tell me he’s not going to be horribly injured from the fall?” Celestia said, giving her a horrified yet serious stare.
Chrysalis shrugged. “Yes, because I know he’s smart enough to use his horn to at least produce a barrier to soften his fall. I’m not worried about it, and neither should you. Now, hush, he’s starting to shake.”
Neighsay had slowly ventured towards the window, he could already hear the shrieks of ponies rising into the air, yet he dare not look through the window. “I… Why would he… Was his friendship that strong? Is… is that what a true bond of friendship is?”
"Chrysalis, I can hear ponies screaming." Celestia whispered.
"Fine, fine, let me go make sure he's not splattered all over the ground. You royal baby." Chrysalis said with an eyeroll.
Neighsay fell to his ass, and looked to his two front hooves once again. “Did I do this? That young colt, at the prime of his life. I-I didn’t mean to be so difficult, I was just trying to look after Equestria’s best interests.” Neighsay slowly stood up, and walked to a mirror above the dresser of the room, and stared into it, horrified with himself. “I’m no better than those I condemn…” He then looked to Celestia, his voice still filled with regret, his tone was pained and sorrowful. “Princess, I… I’m no longer fit for my position, I’m… No longer fit to be allowed to roam this land. I’ve done an ultimate evil, and… and…”
“And I got him.” Chrysalis said as she hoisted you up from a flagpole you had somehow landed on and latched onto, Chrysalis then brought you into the room to brush you off while you hung there in mid air. “Well, Anon, good to see you didn’t leave any marks on the pavement.”
And, of course, you were livid as you began to kick to and fro. “Why didn’t any of you catch me?! Concrete is hard, you know?! I do not feel like having a rea-MPH” Suddenly, a golden glow came upon your lips and kept them sealed.
Celestia, using a spell to silence you, sighed in relief that you were alright. However, she could also see you were too pissed to play along at the moment, and decided to lead things along herself. “Chrysalis?! Oh, thank goodness, you saved Anon! That’s so wonderful, you’re so wonderful!”
Chrysalis groaned as she dropped you onto the ground after seeing you were alright. "Ugh, can it, Celestia, he isn’t even listening anymore. See?” She pointed over to Neighsay, who went back to staring at the mirror.
“How could you do it, Neighsay? Maybe she was reformed, maybe she wasn’t. You saw her wings, maybe they were telling the truth. Anon, he believed it either way, so much so… How? How does a foal have so much devotion? So much love for one so evil? Is she evil? No, I’m evil… I lost my way. Perhaps I don’t even care about the schools, the foals, the safety of Equestria maybe. I don’t hate Princess Twilight, I just… Felt…” He stopped, and brought his hoof to his heart as he felt a pained agony in his chest. “I’m deluding myself, I had their records, I had seen they had not caused any trouble, and yet I persisted. Mercy… No, I don’t deserve it at all, not after this. I am no better than even that despicable centaur.”
“Anon… Just go let him know you're okay, he’s being so pathetic that it’s throwing my senses off.” Chrysalis said as she waved you over to him. "It's just too much."
“Yeah… I see what you mean. I didn’t expect him to react this much, I thought he’d think it was a trick.” You said, truly surprised by Neighsay’s sudden shift in emotion.
“As I had said, he truly cares about Equestria and the ponies who reside within it. I wish it was more than ponies, and in fact, you might be able to make that happen, Anon. Please, go to him, I can’t bear to see him like this.” Celestia said, feeling sympathy for the Chancellor’s lament.
“Yeah… Got it.” You nod, and walk over to Neighsay, and gently tug at his shirt. “Chancellor, hey? You okay?”
“As you can see, I am not. I just ended your life through my own stubbornness.” He responded, not even looking at you.
“I mean, you almost did. But, er, um… Then Chrysalis caught me, heh, she didn’t want to see me get splattered, y’know? I guess I overreacted.” You said, trying your best to sound like an innocent and foolish little colt.
“Tch, it doesn’t matter now that… Wait.” Neighsay turned over to you, with visible tears in his eyes. “Anon?”
You shrug, and give him a warm smile. “I mean, yeah? Who else would I be? And I can’t be Chrysalis, she’s still standing right there.”
“I-indeed…” Neighsay said, using a handkerchief from his shirt to wipe his eyes. “I… I hadn’t even noticed that she had caught you. Why would you even do that?”
“Because you wanted to send my friend to Tartarus, and I… I couldn’t handle it.” You sat next to him, and looked up at him as you swished your tail about, your ear flicking. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost any of my friends, and Chrysalis is especially important to me. She’s like family to me, Neighsay. And I know she feels the same about me. She loves me too, even if she has to be a butt about it sometimes.”
“I would have never believed that, until I saw you had survived your fall thanks to her. Such dedication. If she was such a truly foul being, as I had believed, she wouldn’t have saved you, she’d have no reason to, given I was going to send her straight to Tartarus regardless of any proof. To have caught you from the second story window without hesitation, before you hit the ground, it was much too quick to make me doubt if she had any other intention in saving you.” Neighsay sighed, and looked ahead, back into the mirror. “It seems I have made too grave a mistake this time. I don’t expect you to forgive me for causing this much trouble.”
“Bah, it’s cool.” It wasn’t, but whatever. “You’re alright, Chancellor. But… What about Chrysalis? You’re not going to send her away, are you?”
Neighsay sighed, looked to Chrysalis, then Celestia, then to you. “No, I suppose I won’t, I need to take this loss with dignity, even if I have only acted like a foolish foal thus far.” Neighsay slowly stood up, and walked over to Celestia, and bowed before her. “Princess Celestia, I acknowledge my defeat. So much so that once I return to the office, Princess Twilight’s school will be fully accredited under the EEA.”
Celestia nearly sighed in relief, but kept her regal composure as she nodded. “Thank you, Chancellor. Of course, if you don’t mind, I’d also hope you’d apologize to our dear new friend, Chrysalis.”
“Ah, yes! O-of course.” Neighsay said, with only slight hesitancy. He looked to Chrysalis, and gave her a polite bow. “My apologies, truly, I have been nothing short of a lousy parasprite.”
“You have, but I can forgive you. Oh, I cannot wait to tell my little sister, Diamond Tiara, about this.” Chrysalis said out loud, causing all three of you to freeze. Shit, she wasn’t supposed to say that!
“W-what?! You k-” But before Neighsay could finish, Chrysalis cut him off.
“Yes, I know her, we’re friends. Practically sisters.” Chrysalis slowly began to approach Neighsay with an insidious smirk. “It doesn’t bother you, does it? You wouldn’t think that I might perhaps be trying to corrupt her young little mind for evil purposes, hm? You wouldn’t think that at all, correct?”
Neighsay gulped. Now he wanted to say something, but that traumatizing moment was holding him back. He didn’t want to be the cause of another potential suicide or fill you with resentment. “O-of course not, I’d like to think I’d h-have noticed something if you w-were.”
“Indeed…” Chrysalis said as she even dared to rub her hoof on his beard before giving his chin a slightly painful flick. She then walked over to you and began to give you a gentle hug. “Anon, my bestie best friend, I really am glad you’re okay.”
While she was holding you up with her magic, you had to ask, you had to know why. “The hell was that about?”
“A matter of dominance. To make sure he understands that if he tries anything with me, you, or now, Little Diamond… Well, let’s just say it won’t end nicely for him.” Chrysalis said with a dark chuckle. "I want him to ferment in his doubt, knowing he can't do anything about it."
“Nice.” You said, as you got a little bit more into the hugging.
Celestia just stood there, relieved with how the situation turned out. And while you had your time with Chrysalis, she had decided to ask Neighsay if she could talk to him outside the room. For everything that just happened, she couldn’t leave him all shaken up like that.
In the end though, finally, everyone got what they wanted. Well, except for Shining, that asshole was gonna get his. But holy shit, it actually worked out! The three of you beat Neighsay! Maybe that was the season ender all along. There was finally no more conflict or evil to contend with, and Chrysalis? Oh man, she was good now! Well, as good as she was gonna get.
And yet, somehow, the story continues on, with one more ominous cloud hanging in the distance.
“...And that was it. Celestia had to console him afterwards, which is pretty crazy, but yeah, he pretty much accepted it. Although Shining Armor still hasn’t, but he can’t do anything now. Pretty good story, huh?” You said, grinning.
You were sitting outside Bonbon’s house, sitting down in front of a circular table with both her and Lyra as you sucked down on soda and hayburgers bought from the local fast food joint. You were busy telling them your enthralling tale of reforming Chrysalis.
“Wow, that’s super amazing A-” Lyra, being as cheerful as ever, was about to praise you until she noticed Bonbon’s sour expression. She then shifted her ears and shook her head at you. “Totally not awesome, Anon.”
Wut? “Why are you looking at me like that, guys? Come on, the guy is a huge jerk, he had it coming. Besides, Chrysalis is good now, isn’t that awesome?”
Bonbon silently took a drink of her soda, took a breath, and stared at you even harder before pointing at you with her hoof. “You traumatized Princess Twilight, and possibly Prince Shining Armor, to get what you want. Granted, that was mostly Discord. But, you also traumatized Chancellor Neighsay. And yes, I know Princess Celestia and Chrysalis helped with that, but what you don’t seem to understand is that you now have the problem that if he ever finds out, his wrath will be bad. I’m talking, like, really really bad. I can’t believe all of you thought any of that was a good idea.”
You slump over onto the table and grumpily pout at Bonbon. “Sheesh, that’s a mood killer. It’s not like I’m telling anypony else, I know you guys can keep a secret.”
Bonbon sighs as she leans back on her chair. “I know, and it’s terrible. I can’t believe Princess Celestia herself would think this is okay. And, what, Chrysalis is really reformed? Really? Because the part about the evil you, I was already filled in on that, you know. It doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence when she can pretend to do one thing when really doing another.”
“Oh, c’mon, Bonbon! Don’t be so hard on him! Remember, Discord did a ton of bad stuff too, and now he’s a good guy!” Lyra said, trying to bring her own logic to the conversation while also trying to defuse any ill will. “C’moooooon, isn’t it neat that all the changelings are super good now?”
“Are they?” Bonbon looked to you, obviously wondering about something. “What happened to that creepy one in your house?”
“Er… Uhhh….” Shit. Sad to say, you and Discord still had no home at the moment. You both had been staying at Fluttershy’s. While you don’t mind too much staying there, it was still annoying at times having to deal with Angel, who often broke any truce you might have with him whenever he felt like it. Meanwhile Discord, while actually admitting what he did to lose the house, refused Fluttershy’s help and guidance to getting it back, and repeatedly avoids the subject about it altogether. “Um, yeah. We don’t talk about him.”
“Oh? Why?” Lyra said, biting into her burger as she slowly stretches her head towards you. “Did he get creeeeeeeeepier?”
“Judging from his reaction, he’s most likely not reformed and something bad happened, right?” Bonbon said, guessing correctly.
“... C’mon, I… I don’t wanna say, it’s embarrassing.” Ugh, you really didn’t. It was a tough situation, not only because Discord refused to deal with it unless he could beat Jimmy in some sort of challenge or bet, but he’s even made it where your magic is useless against him, feeling taking the house back by force would be admitting total defeat. “B-besides, it’s a long story. I got stuff to do, y’know? I got partnered with Yona for a project for Generosity class. Then I gotta go see my friend, Cozy Glow, she needs help sending something big to a friend.”
Lyra went up to Bonbon’s ear and started whispering something as she gave you a sly and mischievous stare. Bonbon nodded, and then looked to you with a smirk. “Well, sounds like Lyra already knows what’s going on from Pinkie Pie. Wow, Anon, that’s really really bad. Like, wow.” Bonbon said while shaking her head. “How do you and Discord live with yourselves??”
WHAT?! SHE KNEW?! “Hey! That isn’t fair! Discord literally bet on the wrong horse! Okay?! Alright?! Sheesh, how did Pinkie even know?! It’s a secret! We’re still planning on how to get the house back, we just need to figure out how we can beat him!”
Lyra looks to Bonbon with a grin, and gives her a wink. Bonbon nods, then looks back at you with a smirk. “Welp, we didn’t know any of that, but now we get it. Gambled the house away, huh? Sounds like something he’d do, since gambling is pretty chaotic within itself.”
Wut? “What do you mean you didn’t kno- Oh…” You brought your hoof to your face, then slammed it onto the table. “I can’t believe I fell for that old trick.”
“Awwww, c’mon, Anon, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. Isn’t that something you’d do though?” Lyra asked, using her magic to gently stroke your back.
“He totally would. I’m not going to keep telling you how wrong you were to do it though, considering how important it actually was and the fact even Princess Celestia participated in it, but I do think it’s important for you to at least know how it feels to be duped like that.” Bonbon said as she finished up her burger.
“...Ugh, fine, I guess I can see why it stinks.” You groaned, but almost gently purred from the magical feeling on your back. “... So, then, er. Look, the thing is, the guy turned the whole place into a casino thanks to beating Discord. I don’t even understand it since he’s by himself, but that’s what he wanted. I can’t even get there unless I waste a charge on my horn because using Scrappy’s map sends me right into a shark tank with crazy looking sharks! They nearly ate me! I had to literally regrow my tail once! Ugh!" You groaned before putting your face down on the table once more. "Do you guys have any ideas on something we could make a wager on, and, well, win?”
“Oooooh, Bonbon is good at coming up with this kinda stuff. I bet you already thought of something, right, Bonbon?” Lyra asked, excited to hear what Bonbon may have come up with.
Bonbon nodded. “Yup. Horseshoe tossing contest. I can win it for you, I never miss when I actually want to win.”
“Ooooh! That’s so true. Anon, you gotta see her go, she once went two hundred tosses straight without ever missing!” Lyra said as she raised herself to gently grasp onto Bonbon while resting her head on top of hers. “She’s totally amazing.”
Bonbon chuckled to herself, nuzzling a bit under Lyra. “Not to toot my own horn, but the only reason I didn’t go for three hundred is because I had already won the contest on the twenty seventh toss. It got boring, you know? I just missed to get it over with.”
“Huh…” That’d have to be something you’d have to consider. Jimmy was impatient, and despite taking in human culture as his own, he wasn’t that good at following it, at least in your opinion. Not only that, but he might go for the challenge without practicing for it himself, thinking he’d be superior to any pony at it. “Well, that could work. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Well, I don’t mind giving it a shot if you decide you need my help. But also try to keep in mind what I said about traumatizing ponies to get your way. Alright?” Bonbon said as she began to throw her trash in a trashcan Lyra brought over so everyone could toss their bags.
“Alright, but you guys are going already?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion.
“We have lives to get to too, Anon. Your big story sorta lasted a long time and we have to take a trip to Canterlot to pick up this new cookbook they’re selling over there.” Bonbon said as she looked over and thanked Lyra for giving her her saddlebags.
“Yeah! One hundred Saddle Arabian recipes! It sounds super delicious and super exotic, we can’t miss out!” Lyra said in excitement.
Bonbon nodded. “That’s right. We have been saving up for the book and the ingredients. We even have a back up to ask the Cakes for help in case we screw something up with the actual cooking.”
“Yeah, some of the recipes in the preview pamphlet looked kinda tough to follow, but we’re still gonna give it a shot. If you want, you can be our taste tester, Anon. How does that sound?” Lyra said as she stepped up to you to give you a gentle pat on the head.
“Sure, I wouldn’t mind getting a chance to try some new food.” It actually sounded like a fun and tasty time.
“Yeah! Awesome!” Lyra said, hopping in excitement.
“It’ll only be awesome if we don’t miss that train. C’mon, Lyra. And hey, Anon, you take care of yourself, alright?” Bonbon said, giving you a warm smile.
“Byyyyyyeeeeeee, Anon!” Lyra said, cheerfully waving at you.
“I will, you two take care too, okay?” You said, waving at them.
“We will.” Bonbon said as she hurried Lyra along as they walked past the crowds towards the train station.
Welp, you now have an option to use to get the house back. If Bonbon really was that good, then it shouldn’t be too hard. Though, thinking about it, you were irked still by Bonbon’s comments on Neighsay. Even more so by her and Lyra tricking you that easily. How could you be so easily fooled by such a simple trick? Bah, you just let your guard down, that’s all.
Agh, but now you had to focus on that project with Yona. Dammit, Anon, it was annoying attending that school sometimes, but it not only made Fluttershy happy, but you had to admit, it was nice having the friends you made there, like Smolder and… Well, not Ocellus. She was a prude, especially about Chrysalis.
Hell, none of them even knew you had ‘reformed’ Chrysalis yet. And that’d be fine if it wasn't for Ocellus and her dumb fear of Chrysalis. At one point you were going to have to convince her to go see her. You’re sure Chrysalis would be happy, at least internally, to interact with another one of her children. While she certainly loved Scrappy, he never exactly betrayed her in the first place. You were sure she’d be happy to see that even the changelings that had left her would be willing to talk with her and at least be friends with her in some capacity. Surely that’d be awesome for her to know she isn’t actually hated. Y'know, you just gotta get Ocellus to stop hating her.
The project though, it should be simple. Rarity simply wanted students to partner up with one another and swap lives in some sense. She wasn’t specific, she just said we’d all find our own ways of doing it. Lucky for you, you had chaos magic, so it should be easy to just swap species and that be that. You dreaded being a yak, but considering you weren’t in Yakyakistan to take in their customs, you weren’t sure how else to complete the project.
You walked through Ponyville like it was any other day. Because it was, really. The Storm King was dealt with, Neighsay was dealt with, you were sure whatever season villain that was supposed to show up was already gone at this point. You waved to ponies who noticed you, smiled to those who recognized you as the hero colt. Yeh, life was cool. Yona said she’d be waiting at the fountain near city hall, a very familiar place since it was your usual exit and entrance portal point.
You also had to wonder why Cozy needed your help to send something ‘big’, as she put it. Or maybe you should just stop wondering about it. You already embarrassed yourself thinking she was somehow working with Chrysalis. At this point, your instinct on ‘big secret bad guys and their big secret plans’ was going off for no reason when it came to her.
Whatever, Yona was already in sight. She was looking into the fountain for some reason, so you just approached her and called for her attention. “Hey, Yona! I’m here.”
“Hm?” Yona turns around and smiles, hopping up in excitement at seeing you, causing the earth to shake and send you to the ground, right on your face. “Anon! You’re here! Good.” She slowly walks up to you and plucks you from the ground before practically slamming you back onto your hooves, causing you to literally shake from the stunning impact. “Yona noticed you sleeping though, it’s too early for that. Project now, sleep later.”
“Ngh! Nggmmmm… Y-yeah, er.” Sure, your head was invincible, but in cases like these, you had to steel yourself because holy crap that hurt, you felt like your body almost shattered like glass. “Ngh, let's just not move around too much r-right now until we actually talk about what we’re going to do, okay?”
“Okay.” Yona said, tilting her head in confusion. “But why not move?”
“Um, because uhhh… We’re supposed to be thinking. Project now, moving later, am I right?” You said with a nervous chuckle.
“Oh, that sound right.” Yona said with a nod. “Okay, project! Professor Rarity said we need to find way to experience each other’s life. She didn’t say how, but Yona think she understands.”
“Yeah, I was thinking about that too. The only hint she gave was it’d give us a new perspective on how we view others. Given it’s a generosity class, it probably means something about not blowing somepony off just because they're being mean, as it could just be that they're having a really bad day or something like that. I dunno, but if it’s also so we can understand how it is to live each other’s lives, then I think the best course of action is to blow the project out of the water by using my magic to change to each other’s species. Pretty good, huh?” You explained, thinking Yona would go along with it since it was such a good idea.
Yona shook her head. “No, that make no sense.”
Wut? “Why not? We’d literally see how it is to live each other’s lives.”
“Ponies of Ponyville are too nice, it’d not really make much difference. But Yona did think magic should be involved since chaos is big big big part of Anon’s life. Yona think if chaos magic involved, then chaos magic should be used to turn Ponyville into Yakville for one hour, then we go to Anon’s house for one hour.” Yona said, feeling proud of her suggestion.
“Why? If changing our species doesn’t matter, then why is making the entire town ‘Yakville’ suddenly important to the project?” You asked, until it suddenly hit you. “...Unless you mean make everyone act like yaks. Like, an actual yak version of the town.”
Yona nodded. “Exactly. Yona think it okay if only for an hour and nocreature get hurt. That okay with Anon, right?”
Hm, changing the entire town for an hour, that’s a pretty big cast. Given you’ve moved the sun and moon before, it wasn’t out of your depth. However, if you cast the spell wrong, any number of things could go awry. Then again, if you do set a time limit, then everything would go back to the way it was, no matter what. But then there’s the issue that the time limit could also make it impossible to fix anything that goes super terribly wrong, as nothing would be able to be changed until the time limit is reached. “Okay… I guess, but it seems a little uneven to me. I’m changing the entire town so I can see how being a yak is like, but my house isn’t even th-” Oh wait… you don’t even have a house right now. “Er, Yona, actually…” Ah, whatever, you’re not some stupid kid who needs to hide it. It was Discord’s fault, so you had nothing to be ashamed of. “I don’t have a house right now. My dad sort of lost it.”
“Oh. Yona would normally be confused, but Yona can only guess Anon’s father misplaced house.” Yona then stopped to ponder an alternative plan. She just stood there, thinking and thinking. Suddenly, her eyes practically lit up as she jumped up with excitement, sending you upwards from the shock. But then she catches you and brings you close to her face as she explains what she came up with in excitement. “Anon! Yona come up with something!”
“HGDGHDHGHFGH” You shouted as she had you so close, you could see the speckles in her eyes as your muffled screams shot out of you.
“Oh, sorry.” Yona said with with a nervous giggle as she put you down. “But Yona come up with good idea! Instead of going to Anon’s house, we go on Anon adventure instead!”
“N-ngh…” You replied as you laid your face on the ground, shaking.
“Yona think it perfect too! We can go anywhere! Yona think to best understand Anon, Yona and Anon need to go out and do big Anon thing. Or even small Anon thing! As long as it is something Anon does when nocreature is around. What Anon think?” Yona said, asking you as her excitement built up more and more.
You just laid there, trying to recompose yourself.
Finally, Yona noticed she may have been too excited and began to help you up. “S-sorry, Yona just get excited sometimes.”
“What that?” Yona asked as she circled around an odd metallic podium with a big red button on top.
“It’s the project spell button… Thing, I didn’t give it a name. But, essentially, we both press this button to fully agree to the terms of the project we decided upon. It will keep things locked in place while also giving us an emergency button to press in case things go crazy. Pretty smart, right?” You said, smirking, standing proud of your magical cast.
“Yona think she understands. But you really think something can go wrong when it comes to yaks? Yaks don’t cause problem. Yaks best at solving problems though.” Yona stated as she curiously tapped at the button without pressing it.
Yeah, you knew that wasn’t true. No matter the situation, you felt they could level an entire continent compared to what you could do by accident. “It’s just a precaution. Just remember, we only have an hour, so we gotta do as much yak stuff as possible before we do one of my adventures.” In which you were being sly about. You made sure whatever adventure you both end up in, it’d be small and inconsequential. Basically, you made sure nothing could go wrong. “So, you ready to go?”
Yona nodded with excitement. “Mhmm! Yona excited to see what Yakville look like! So, all Yona have to do is press button?”
You nodded as you yourself gave the button a press. “Yup, just press the button like I did and we can get started.”
Yona jumped up and slammed onto the button with her hooves as her excitement peaked and she could no longer contain it. “Okay! Yona wanna see Yakville! Yona wanna show Anon all yak-like things! Show him yaks as good as an-WAAGH!” Yona and you are blown backwards as the podium releases a huge blastwave that spreads across the entire town. When you both came back to your senses, you could already see the ground around the podium change and become snowy as it spread out in a circle, changing all it came across.
“What going on?!” Yona said as she became a fearful “Everything chang-The fountain!” She pointed at it, then immediately smiled, her fear leaving her. “It yak now!”
“Ngh…” You slowly stood up and noticed the ground before you begin to change. “W-woah! Woah! What in the!” You began to step backwards as the changing ground came near you, but then you looked ahead and noticed the podium began to vanish. “WHAT?! NO! WHAT?! GYAH!” You couldn’t let this happen! Without the podium, without that button, who knows what can happen! But the moment you jump towards it, you become several pounds heavier as you slam into the ground. “Ngh! The button! Yona, button gone! Anon… Wait. Anon? Gyah! Anon! Anon! Why can't Anon say name right?!” It took you a moment, but you didn’t need a mirror to know what just happened. While your mind was intact, you suddenly found it difficult to speak the way you usually did. You also felt heavier, yet stronger than before. “Don’t tell Anon. Don’t tell Anon is y-”
“Anon! You yak now! Woooow! Look! Everything yak now!” Yona said in wonderment as it began to snow around the both of you. She then pointed to city hall, which had become a gigantic hut. “City hall now yak city hall! Oooooh! Is everycreature yak now too?!”
“Ngh, mnnnaaaaa… Anon immediately regret decision.” You plopped your ass on the ground, and looked at your hooves, your not very cute looking hooves. You had extensively hairy fur, your horns were little spikes, and your tail was a puffball.
“Don’t be baby, Anon. Being yak is great!” Yona said with a cheer as she looked upon Yakville, which had become cold, rustic, and simple. And yet, still seemed rather cheerful, as the rustle and bustle of the town could still be heard… And felt on the ground. “C’mon, we need to do yak things.”
Okay… Okay, this wasn’t too bad, you still had your… Wait, why couldn’t you feel it? “Horn! Where’s Anon’s horn?!”
“Huh? Yona don’t see it. Oh! It probably gone because of button thing, it must know project is important, so it went away until it done.” Yona said in a matter of factly like fashion.
WUT?! “What you mean?! Anon master of chaos! It can't be gone! How Yona know it gone?!” You said as you latched onto her face like a face hugger.
Yona quickly threw her head up to throw you onto her back, then giggled at you. “Silly Anon, Yona may not be chaos master, but Yona do know that yak word is unbreakable. Once you agree with yak, you must see agreement to its end. That’s why yak best dealmakers.”
“O-okay then. A-anon, understand…” You said as you drooped off of Yona’s back and onto the ground. Dammit, Anon, how could a ‘yak’s deal’ affect your magic this much?! What did you do wrong?! No, no, it’s fine, you’re overreacting. Yona is your friend, you’d be an asshole if you treated this like a burden. Besides, this could actually turn out to be pretty fu- “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Suddenly, a giant yeti grabs you out of nowhere and starts slamming you onto the ground. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
“Yeti! Where it come from?! A-Anon! Anon! Don’t worry, Yona help!” Yona, without hesitation, rushed to your aid and smashed her head into the yeti’s back. However, the yeti was a giant brute, almost the size of Twilight’s castle. It was hulking with muscles and its thick fur was able to absorb Yona’s attack. It simply looked down at her, and picked her up, squeezing the both of you in its grip.
“NGH! Anon! Anon can’t stop it!” You yelled out. “NGH AAAAGH!” You let out an ear rupturing yell as the Yeti squeezed you harder in its grip.
“YOU! YOU FACE FLUTTERSHY! RIGHT NOW!” Came a soft yet bellowing voice from below.
The yeti stopped for a moment to look down behind it, seeing a yellow furred yak behind him. Scaringly enough, this yak was pretty gigantic, with twisting horns and steam coming from her nostrils. She was about a quarter of the size of the yeti, but goddamn, that was still massive. You look down weakly, simply due to the voice being familiar… Fluttershy? “A-aunt Fluttershy?”
“YOU LET GO NEPHEW AND FRIEND RIGHT NOW! OR FLUTTERSHY MAKE YOU SORRY! FLUTTERSHY NOT APPROVE OF MEANNESS!” Fluttershy shouted, the steam from her nostrils starting to become so hot, it was melting the snow around her.
The yeti laughed, and raised its gigantic foot to crush Fluttershy where she stood. But the moment he brought it down upon her, she managed to jump away, then jump upwards so ridiculously high that she was able to reach the yeti’s head. She then smashed her head down upon his, causing him to throw both you and Yona upwards as he quickly sinks into the ground, until only his head is above it. Then, bouncing off from her hit, she was able to catch you and Yona as she flipped backwards. She dropped Yona as soon as she could see the drop wouldn’t hurt her, and then fell onto her back as she hugged onto you. “Anon! Anon! Fluttershy so worried. Fluttershy give you kisses now.” Fluttershy cried as she gave smooch after smooch, but her tears were so huge and thick that your entire face became drenched in seconds. She then gently put you on the ground as she rolled to the side to get up.
“Wow! Yona so amazed! Professor Fluttershy, that you?” Yona said as she rushed up to see her, as you just laid there on the ground, soaking as your face began to tense up from the tears freezing upon your face. Dammit...
“Mhmm, but why Yona ask? Is something different?” Fluttershy asked in confusion.
“Erm, nope! No, ummm… Nothing. Yona just amazed to see Fluttershy kick butt so hard.” Yona said, utterly impressed with her movements and strength.
“It nothing. When it come to Anon safety, Fluttershy will do anything to protect him.” Fluttershy said with a nod as her eyes shifted to the yeti. “You hear that, Yeti? Anything means anything. if you hurt Anon again, you be sorry.” Fluttershy threatened, her stare, or perhaps ‘The Stare’, scaring the yeti into just accepting the position he’s in as he began to sob.
“N-ngh…” You slowly stood up, shivering, as icicles fell off your face. Ngh, okay then, it seems Yakville is fully a go, and it almost nearly killed you, woo… But Fluttershy, goddamn, even as a yak, she risked her life to save you. Or was that risking her life? She basically kicked that thing’s ass without breaking a sweat. “T-thanks, Aunt F-fluttershy… A-anon glad Aunt Fluttershy came, but…” You looked back at the yeti and, well, what the fuck? “Where yeti come from?”
“I can answer that!” Came a familiar, and normal sounding voice as he hovered down from the sky and landed next to the three of you. “Queen Twilight somehow just realized Yakville doesn’t have any protective outer perimeter walls. Crazy, huh? The town has been here since forever and we never erected a wall. It's crazy!” It was Spike, adorned with a collar and tie, as well as a clipboard in hand.
“Queen Twilight?!” Both you and Yona exclaimed in surprise. Oh man, the spell really hit Ponyville hard. It was Ponyville but yak to a T.
“Uhhh… Yeah. Man, that yeti must have hit you both on the head pretty hard. How did you forget about Queen Twilight?” Spike asked, his eye shifting back and forth between the two of you, irked by your apparent sudden memory loss.
“Spike, what we do about yeti? Fluttershy don’t like that it gave Anon memory loss. It make Fluttershy want to rip in two.” Fluttershy said, as she angrily glared at the yeti, causing it to whimper and try to hide by burying its head further the best it could.
“Woah, woah! Relax there, Fluttershy.” Spike said as he rushed up to her and and gave her a head pat before looking back at the yeti with a shady smirk. “Trust me, all that guy needs is a four hour lecture from the queen and I’m sure everything will be square. That fine with you, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy nods. “Yes, as long as yeti becomes good. If he doesn’t become good, then Fluttershy rip in two.”
Christ… Fluttershy as a yak was actually pretty damn scary.
“Um, Spike.” Yona gingerly approached Spike, curious about something. “Do you not remember Ponyville?”
“Ponyville? Never heard of it.” He said with a shrug. “C’mon, Yona, don’t joke about ponies, will ya? They aren’t tough like us yaks. Well, I’m not exactly a yak, but… Y’know, Queen Twilight raised me as one, ever since she kept my egg warm from the bitter cold. Now…” Spike raised his clipboard and gave it a look see. “We gotta get this wall set up before any other nasties show up. Anon, I’d have you join in on the tree cutting with that skull of yours, buuuuut after what happened with that yeti, I’ll keep you with Yona and assign you to the building group. Yona, you’re still good to slam those wooden logs in, right?”
Yona nodded and cheered “Yona love smashing in wooden logs! Yaks best at using skill and strength to put in walls in one bash!”
“They sure are. Speaking of which, Anon, don’t smash them in too far, okay? We got mallets for a reason, use em. In fact, you both should see Rarity. Her new mallets are both stylish and unbreakable. So cool...” Spike said with a doting sigh. But he shakes his head to snap back into it, and takes up his clipboard and strikes a mark onto the paper clipped to it. “Well, that’s done. Hey, Fluttershy, can you guard the yeti until the Queen gets here?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Fluttershy guard yeti.” Fluttershy then walked over to you and nuzzled her head onto yours. “Stay strong, Anon, do not be scared. You mighty yak, and yak not scared of anything. Good luck.”
“T-thanks, Aunt Fluttershy. Um, I-GYAGH!” Suddenly, Fluttershy starts yelling at you so loudly, you fall over as your ears ring.
“No wasting time! We already hug! Fluttershy don’t want other yaks calling you lazy, Fluttershy don’t want to rip apart other yaks! Go, go!” She shouted as she gave you a strong stern stare, though, even with that, you could see the love shining through her eyes.
“O-okay! Okay!” You said as you quickly got up and headed towards where the Carousel Boutique normally would be.
And then you heard Yona giggling. You looked over to her with a sour look, and sniffed. “What funny?”
“You make for funny yak. Prince Rutherford would make you clown yak, then not make you clown yak, because yak not supposed to be clowns.” Yona said with a giggle before looking around Yakville. She could see everyone had become yaks, the ponies have anyway, and none of them seemed to realize they had been changed in any way. It was as if Yakville had always existed.
“Anon not clown! Anon master! Master of everything! Anon would have made yeti toast if he was ready! Don’t laugh at Anon!” You don’t know why, but you felt your sense of pride had been upped since becoming a yak. And you really didn’t need Yona laughing at you. Hell, you had the strongest head ever, that should demand respect among yaks!
“Sorry, Anon. Yona can’t help it.” Yona said as she stifled her giggles. “Yona not used to it. But Yona interested to see how Anon work. Work is important. When all yak work in harmony, then everything get done fast enough for play. But yaks must never rush things, everything must be made strong.”
“Mnnngh, Anon didn’t know he’d be working without magic.” Dammit, you really didn’t want to do something like this. Especially since everything would… Or should… revert in an hour, hopefully. “Why we need to build wall, anyway? Everything change back in hour.”
“Yona would normally be upset to hear about yak avoiding work, but Yona know Anon enough to know he a little lazy. Anon, we had deal, so you have to do yak things. If you don’t, maybe things stay like this forever. Actually… That kind of scary. Yona like Ponyville, Yona like her friends the way they are.” Yona, upon coming to that thought, suddenly seemed a little frightened. When you saw that she seemed spooked, it kinda made you feel bad. It also made you realize it made you look like a pussy for shirking work. But right before you could say anything about it, Yona grabbed you by the cheeks and shook you about. “Yona scared about that, Anon! Tell Yona that wouldn’t happen! Yona don’t even know if Sandbar or Ocellus or Gallus or Smolder or Silverstream here in Yakville! Yona don’t want to lose friends forever!”
“Nggghhhh! Gyah! Y-Yona! A-Anon promises it only last hour! Anon will work! Anon will work!” You screamed out for dear life. “Everything go back in hour! Friends will come back! Promise! Promise!”
“P-promise? Ok-okay, Y-yona believe you, Yona believe Anon not lie. Y-yona sorry about laughing too…” She said as she gently put you down and gave you a soft hug. Whether it was due to your body being able to handle her strength, or she was being gentle, you had no idea. “Y-yona didn’t mean to be mean. Yona just thought it was funny.”
“I-it fine.” You said with a sigh, to began to catch your breath. “Anon shouldn’t be being baby anyway. Anon don’t need chaos magic to do things. Anon don’t even know why he worried about that. Anon just feel tiny bit different, but Anon can work just fine.” You just weren’t used to things being this way, that’s all. You didn’t have your magic, you nearly just died, you’ve been yelled at, and then been ordered to work. You didn’t want to be told what to do, that was what it really was. Especially for something as pointless as this. But, you agreed to it, and given your horn and the podium were gone, it might be best to go along with things until the hour was up. However, given the project itself, you wanted to ask a yak related question to Yona. “Yona, do yaks normally deal with yeti like that? Aunt Fluttershy handle it like it everyday thing”
Yona nodded. “Yak deal with lots of things like that. We defend home, we defend each other, no yak leave other yak behind. We work together, play together, party together, and even be sad together sometime. We basically big family.”
“Big family, huh? That explain why yak version of Aunt Fluttershy so protective. But Anon surprised about Spike, he basically same.” You said, noting Spike hadn’t changed at all. You also noted that Fluttershy seemed fine with him. You'd think yaks would be wary about letting a dragon into their ranks. “He not even yak, yet he accepted like one anyway.”
“I think spell only change ponies into yak. But Yona not surprised about Spike. Here, Spike grew up as yak, so he is yak, and is part of family. Sometimes, you don’t need to be yak to be yak. Having spirit and understanding of yak is enough to be yak a lot of times.” Yona explained.
Huh… That was actually pretty deep. It felt similar to what you wanted with Chrysalis, for her to be family with you, Fluttershy, and Discord. Your partnership with Scoots. And even the relationship you have with Starlight. And of course, you mustn’t forget the family you have with the Riches. But when it comes to the yaks, it seems to be a bond that was unbreakable among all of them. As if it was the very foundation of their society. Just… Damn. “Yaks more loving than Anon realize. Anon don’t mean to be blunt, but Anon thought yaks were kinda angry a lot.”
“Oh, yaks can be very angry. Yaks best at being angry. But yaks always angry with good reason. Yaks don’t like to hate, yaks just become angry because we don’t like bad things or things that mock yak tradition. Anon, you don’t mock yak traditions, do you? Just asking.” Yona asked, not being overly inquisitive, she was just honestly curious.
“Er… No.” fuck, you couldn’t remember if you ever actually did. But you felt bad and didn’t want to upset her, especially not after all that.
“Okay, Yona believe you. Come on, let’s go see Professor Rarity! Yona curious to see how she is as yak!” Yona said as she suddenly broke out into a sprint.
“W-wait! Anon not used to running as yak yet!” You say as you chase after her, tripping in the snow.
There it was, the Carousel Boutique, or from what you both could see, the Glamorous Depot. It was wider than the Boutique, almost like a circus tent, but in hut form. Each corner of the hut was held by stone pillars however, with the roof being made of a giant crafted gem that somehow didn’t come down and crush the place due to its weight. And then there was the sign hanging overhead that displayed the name.
Yona narrowed her eyes towards it as yaks leisurely came in and out of the depot. “What this? This don’t seem very yak like”
“Well, it Rarity. What do you expect? Even as yak, she gotta be classy.” You replied as you looked at the sign. “But this place does seem to be place to buy tools. Wait, how we buy tools with no money?” You then tapped at your head, to note your missing horn to yourself. “And without magic to summon money.”
“Buy?” Said a squeaky voice from beside you. “Anon, why are you always thinking you’re so great? Buy? You can’t afford any of my sister’s tools, nocreature can. It’s why we lend it out for free, and only charge for repairs. Sheesh, ‘buy’, you’re lucky I’m nice, or I’d tell the other yaks you tried to buy one of my sister’s tools.”
W-was...Was that Sweetie Belle? As a Yak? Her fucking fur was so prim, poofy, and proper, that she looked more like a horned poodle than a yak. Also, why is she talking so good? “Sweetie Belle?! That you? Wait? Why you talk good?”
“What do you mean 'talk good’? I’m talking like a pony right now instead of a yak because we have a trip tomorrow to actually sell some of our wares to their royalty, I have to keep up my speech practice. Are you insulting yaks, Anon? Are you saying we don’t talk good? You're a yak too, you know?” Sweetie Belle angrily asked as she narrowed her eyes towards you.
Yona gasped. “Anon! You don’t think yak talk good?!”
FUCKKKKK! WHAT IS THIS BACKWARDS ASS SHIT! FUCK YOU, SWEETIE BELLE! EVEN AS A YAK, YOU’RE SHIIIIT! “Um… M-me yak too, me only joking. If Anon was serious, Anon not talk like yak.” You said, sweating, grinning a nervous smile.
“....Hmm, I guess that’s true. Anyway, if Yona is with you, then you have to be here for something important. I bet it has to do with the wall. Am I right?” Sweetie Belle asked, hoping she was right about her guess.
Yona nodded. “That right.”
“Yay!” Sweetie Belle hopped with excitement. And despite being a yak, she landed as dainty as a dandelion. When she turned around, you noticed even her tail was a purple and white little poof. She began to sprint towards Rarity, who was sitting behind a circular counter in the center of the depot. The hut was packed with yaks looking around, and tons of tools, food, and instruments like the yovidaphone. All on display neatly on the outer circle of the hut. “Rarity, guess what! I managed to guess what our customers wanted! Can I get their tools? Please, pretty please?!”
“Good job, Sweetie Belle!” Rarity said, and oh boy, she was actually damned small herself, yet her fur was just as prim and proper as her mane would be when she was a pony. She was also practically shining, like a diamond. “Of course you can, they’re your customers, after all.”
“M-m-my customers?!” Sweetie Belle gasped as her eyes shined, her tail swishing about. “Wow! I-I… Wait… Erm, what… Oh no. I actually don’t know what they need, I forgot to ask what job they were assigned.” Sweetie Belle said as she began to mope, her ears drooping, feeling she failed.
“Sweetie Belle, darling, please don’t fret. You can simply ask them, it’s not the end of the world if you make one mistake. You’re still a little yak. Once you become a big yak, or even better, learn the trade as well as I have, then you’ll be the best tradesyak.”
“T-thanks, R-rarity…” Sweetie Belle said as she began to tear up. She then immediately hid her face and wiped her tears as she began to whisper to herself. “Don’t cry. Yaks don’t cry. Ngh… Okay, okay, got it!” She then took a deep breath and walked over to the both of you. “So, um, what job were you two assigned?”
“Wall duty. We need strong mallets to pound in logs” Yona answered, then gave Sweetie Belle a big encouraging smile. “And you doing good job, Yona already feel satisfied.”
You said nothing at first, feeling you didn’t have to. But then you let out a yelp as Yona gave you a kick. Really? To her? After that? “Y-yeah, you doing good job.”
Sweetie Belle span around, giggling childishly. “Yay! Thank you! Okay, I’ll go get your mallets! They’re really strong too, so they’ll never break! So hold on a second, please!”
Yona nodded, letting Sweetie Belle run off to sift through the tool boxes at the end of the store. She then furrows her brow as she looks at you and whispers. “What you mean yak don’t talk good? You have problem with way yak talk?” It was obvious that she knew that your excuse was terrible since she knew you were forced to talk like a yak thanks to the magic.
“W-what?! L-look, Yona. Anon fine with how yak talk. Really!” She was really going to be upset over that? It wasn’t like yaks had a special language or anything. It was seriously just a dumber way to talk. Even then, you didn’t mean to insult her, you just found it weird that you were forced to speak like a yak while Sweetie Belle, and by extension, Rarity, get to talk just fine.
“Then why you say she talk good? Why not say she talk pony?” Yona asked, stepping menacingly closer to you, as she brought herself eye to eye with your face.
You gulp. Shit, geez, she took it so personally. “Yona. Anon just couldn’t say right words because not used to how yak talk, it come out different. Promise!” You were sweating as you tried to make things right. But it was true, wasn’t it? Yaks don’t talk that well, it was hard to understand her sometimes since she always referred to herself in the third person, with grammar that wasn't always proper. So, by extension, it was possible you didn't mean what you said because of how you were forced to say it.
“Mnnn….” Yona began to relent. She kept her eyes on you for a moment, then finally backed off. “Yona guesses that might be it. And if Anon promise, then it must be true. When yak make promise, it unbreakable.”
D-dammit Yona, why did you have to put it like that? “Y-yeah. Um… Yeah.” Fucking hell, even if she did back off, the way she was looking at you seemed like she was still casting some doubt, yet was willing to trust you at the same time. Anon, dammit, the least you could do is ask why they talk that way. Maybe it’d help you not feel so damned guilty and shed some light to the odd dialect. “So, erm. Why do yaks talk this way? Anon curious, want to know why it… Er… Best language?”
“Oh, Anon want to know?” Yona asked, slowly smiling as she seemed to be pleased that you were showing some interest now. “Well, it because it cut out some words and letters not needed for sentences. Yaks hate wasting time.”
Huh… Given the context, that actually makes sense. “Oh… Neat.”
“Mhmm” Yona said with a self satisfied nod. “So, Anon really understand now?”
You really did. But only because it made sense in the freaking MLPverse.” Yep, Anon really understa-WAGH!” Suddenly, you’re thrown aside as a big bright blue yak with a rainbow looking 'mop' on her head speeds by and bumps through you as she dashes towards the counter.
“Rarity! Rainbow Dash need double harness now! Have to prove to Scootaloo that Rainbow Dash not only fastest yak, but also strongest!” It was Rainbow Dash. Because of course it was, how could anyone not figure it out from her fur or her personality.
Rarity just gave her a stoic look, unblinking. “The double harness? Rainbow Dash, dear, that’s reserved for two yaks. Hence it being a double harness.”
“Rainbow Dash know that, but double harness can be used for double logs. Rainbow Dash can use to carry forty logs! So Rainbow Dash need it or she look like big joke!” Rainbow Dash demanded as she stomped and snorted out steam from her nostrils.
“Rainbow Dash, did you ever consider you’ll look like a big joke if you, say, snap your back trying to carry so many logs? Not even the queen can carry that many logs. Don’t you remember what happened last time? With the cave? And the boulders? And the rebuilding of the castle? And let’s not forget you tripping on that twig.” Rarity retorted, not amused at all with Rainbow Dash’s demands.
“This different! This work this time! Rainbow Dash swears! So, gimme gimme gimme!” Rainbow Dash demanded once again. “Yaks don’t say please! So no please this time!”
Rarity groaned as she pointed to a tool box at the end of the store. “Fine, you can take one of the ones we have in there. But just to let you know, I’m going to make sure a nurse follows you this time. Because I know what’s going to happen.”
“No! It not happen! No nurse! If Rainbow Dash break back, which Rainbow Dash won’t, then Rainbow Dash just sleep it off! Promise Rainbow Dash no nurse, don’t want to look bad in front of Scootaloo and Wonderyaks.” Rainbow Dash asked, this particular threat actually making her recoil some as she gives Rarity big pleading eyes to not send a nurse.
“How about I not not send a nurse? How does that sound?” Rarity asked, boredly looking at a mirror as she quickly polished her horn with a nailfile.
“Not not send nurse?” Rainbow Dash asked in confusion.
Rarity nodded. “Not not.”
“Hmmm…. Not not… Hmmm…” Rainbow Dash had to stop to think about it, and it actually seemed to stump her for a good bit before she finally nodded. “Right, not not! That means super not! Which is good! Okay, Rainbow Dash agree!”
“Alright.” Rarity said, letting out a relieved sigh as she wiped her brow. “Then the harness is yours. Just be sure not to break anything, darling, that goes for you yourself especially.”
“Yeah, yeah, Rainbow Dash know what doing.” Rainbow Dash said with dismissive grunt, not even thanking Rarity, as she goes to take the double harness and leave.
Sweetie Belle, with a small box containing the mallets in her mouth, steps in front of the two of you and gently puts the box down with a warm smile. “Thank you, Yona, Anon. And please come back to… Anon… Why are you on the ground like that? Come on, don’t be lazy, you’re making yourself look bad.” Sweetie Belle said as she began to give you swift but gentle kicks. "C'mon... it makes you look like a doofus."
Goddammit, no respect. No respect at all. Even if Yona was having a lighthearted giggle right now, this was not the kind of shit you needed. Ugh, being a magicless yak kinda sucked...
“So…” You were looking over your oversized yet sturdy mallet before throwing it up onto your back. “We only need mallets? Nothing else?”
Yona shook her head. “No, only mallets. Yaks who go gather logs bring us logs to use mallets on. If we needed anything else, Spike tell us.”
“Hmm, do we need to do this? Spell not last long, remember?” You said, looking around the cold village as sounds of smashing can be heard up ahead.
“Anon, it not matter, remember? We have to do yak things like yaks so you can learn what being yak is like. That include talking good, like yak talk, because yak talk good.” Yona said as she turned towards you, giving you a deeper stare. “I know Anon lying about what Anon said, Anon bad liar.”
“W-what? L-look, Yona, Anon just used to talking certain way, that’s all. Pony talk very similar to how human talk, so that what An-” But you stop when you notice she was staring even harder at you. Fuck, man, it was starting to dawn on you how insensitive you could actually be, even when you’ve been trying not to be as insensitive as others have been perceiving you. “Okay, look. Anon just tell it like it is, Anon is insensitive. To be fair, Anon like this with everycreature. Er, ahm…”
“Hmmm, so Anon is as Ocellus say, Anon think he big and smart all the time?” Yona said, never breaking her stare, she wasn’t even blinking. It was creepy.
You grimaced at those words, especially from where it came from. Damn, seems deep down, Ocellus didn’t exactly have the best opinion of you. Well, she outwardly didn’t have that good of an opinion of you, but damn, that kind of stings. You didn’t even know what to say.
“Yona see why Anon in school now, Anon need it.” Yona said as she finally broke her stare, and shook her head, feeling shame for you.
“Okay, er, come on! Don’t say that! Anon… Anon just…” Dammit! It was like she could see into your damn soul, you knew she wasn’t going to accept any excuses. You give in, and sigh, relenting on your defensive feelings. “Anon sorry, okay? Would it make squarsies if Anon admit he can be jerk for no reason?”
“That weird way to make squarsies, but Yona accept apology, as long as Anon not say mean things about yak anymore.” Yona said. It seems she was willing not to hate you, or chastise you, as long as you could be more mindful of others. “Yona want to believe in friendship ways, so Yona give Anon a chance. Yona want all her friends to be nice to each other. That mean others being nice to Anon, as Anon should be nice to others too.”
Friendship ways, huh? Dammit, Anon, why did that always seem to be out of your grasp, even when it isn’t? You’ve made tons of friends, you’re a hero, you’re an heir to a company, shit like that. And yet things just slip through your hooves whenever you just decide to be a jerk, or rather, inconsiderate of others feelings. You keep learning this lesson, and keep fucking it up. Holy crap, no wonder people get pissed at characters returning to the status quo, even after learning a big lesson. “Okay, Anon understand. Anon not say anything bad about yaks from now on. Anon was big time wrong, and to be honest, Anon was glad to be away from humans, so really, Anon shouldn’t criticize too much.”
Yona nodded, and finally gave you a rather pleasant smile. “Yona like those words, Yona… Wait, you not like humans? Yona not know what humans are, but if Anon was human, shouldn’t Anon like them?”
“Er… It take long time to explain.” Not to mention you’d rather not have her find out you aren’t even really a ‘boy’ through a slip of the yakkish tongue. “Plus, Anon not like talking about it. It long time since Anon human.”
“Yona, understand. Well, Yona don’t, but she not pry if make Anon uncomfortable.” Yona said with a cautious nod as she looked on ahead and pointed. “Look, Yona can already see logs being put up for wall in distance, we need to hurry before other yaks wonder where we are.”
“Yeah, Yona don’t want to worry Queen Twilight. Queen Twilight get weird when things not go right. Pinkie remembers one time, Pinkie bake birthday cake different as silly prank, and you know what happen? Queen Twilight start eating ingredients she thought was in cake because it didn’t taste like usual birthday cake. Then, when Pinkie told her Pinkie used different ingredients, Pinkie had to sit down and listen to four hour long apology about how she should have taken joke better and not eaten all ingredients in bakery. On that day, Pinkie learn pranking Queen Twilight is fate worse than... You know” A yak with cotton candy like fur, covering her entire body to the point that all she seemed to be was that big puff of pink fur, said, as she suddenly appeared looking at the both of you. At least you think she was staring? You honestly couldn’t tell.
“Uhhh… Okay.” Welp, ‘Queen Twilight’ was neurotic in a whole different way than original flavor, it seemed. “Anon understand, er, Pinkie Pie?”
“Pinkie Pie? Why Nonny not call Pinkie, Ponk?” Suddenly, the pink puffball let out a big gasp. “Is Nonny sick? Or is Nonny become too big for friends now? Hmmm? HMMM?!” Pinkie said as she suddenly got close to you, and from what you could presume, was eyeing you up and down.
Christ! You gulped, and backed off slowly. “S-sorry, Ponk. E-erm, Anon just have lots of things in head right now.”
“Oh. Want Pinkie to use her horns to dig things out?” Pinkie asked
Oh god, no. “E-er. N-no, Anon fine. Anon just want to help with wall. That’s all.” You said, with a big gulp, hoping you weren’t about to have your skull dug into. You could hear Yona giggling beside you, she obviously thought this was fucking funny… Dammit.
“Oh, that make sense. Well, Pinkie have work to do too. All yaks are to have big party after wall is built, so Pinkie have to go set things up! Good luck, Nonny! And Yona, make sure Nonny not use head for once, he nearly bring whole village down last time.”
Yona’s eyes went wide with bewilderment. “Really? Anon do that?”
Pinkie… Presumably nodded. “Mhmm, Yona not remember? It pretty bad.”
“Er, Yona just don’t remember too well. Sorry.” Yona said with an embarrassed giggle.
“That okay. Just remember; use mallet, not head!” Pinkie said as her body shifted towards you. “Got it?”
Er, for the sake of not nuking an entire fucking village, you just agreed to it. Because holy hell, even arrogantly, that was not something you wanted to deal with, especially if it carried back over to Ponyville in any way. “G-got it, Anon understand.”
“Good! Good luck, you two! Work hard, and have fun!” Pinkie said as she bounced off, like a nearly floating puffball.
“Wow… Anon with yak head sound dangerous.” Yona said with a gulp, before turning to you with wide worried eyes. “Y-you think Professor serious?”
“Erm, don’t know. But trust Anon, Anon not want to find out.” If your head could destroy the town, somehow, then you were smart enough to follow fucking directions... Even if it did make you a little curious to see what would happen anyway.
And with that, you both carried on to the edge of the village. And boy, was it busy. You could see rows of yak, two each being raised on platforms by rope by other yaks below so they could get high enough to pound the logs into the ground, side by side, to form a crude wall. In the distance, you swear you could see the Apples in the background, working in tandem to smash the logs into place and then move on to their next section. It was almost like looking at an organic machine, with rows of logs being placed within minutes at a time.
And overseeing it all was a huge purple yak with long long braids, a huge book attached to her back, and horns shining almost majestically as they jutted to the side and then straight up in a curl. They were huge. Riding on the yak’s back was Spike. That had to be Twilight.
Spike seemed to be working on his own thing, looking over the other yaks and writing things down on a scroll as he spoke to the queen. “Twilight, this is awesome! We’re ahead of schedule again! How’d you find rope that could support the weight of two yaks?”
“Twilight use potion recipe that make things as strong as boulder on all ropes. Learned it from nice shaman yak that live in Everfree Snowforest. Twilight knew it’d let us work twice as fast, so it was good idea.” The queen replied, pleased with how things were going.
“Oh, right, Zecora. I didn’t know she had potions like that. Good thinking, Twilight! This is why yaks are best at being smart!” Spike cheered.
“I know, yak very smart.” Twilight said with a very self satisfied nod.
“Oh, hey. I see Anon and Yona. Want me to set them up next to the Apple’s line?” Spike asked
“Yes, please. And remember to remind Anon about using head. As in, don’t do it.” Queen Twilight said, before suddenly becoming stern. “A week’s lecture on why you listen to elders for him, if he doesn’t listen. No, a month!”
“Er, got it. Don’t worry, Twilight. I’m sure he’ll get it this time.” Spike said as he swiftly climbed down from Twilight’s back to approach the both of you.
“Wow, Yona, It almost like entire town is here working.” Like seriously, it was impressive to actually see so many of the townsponies, as yaks, working on this wall. Yaks pulling up the platforms, on sets of pulleys, so each group of yaks on said platforms can smash the logs in with their mallets. It was all within a harmony that seemed impossible.
“Yona think entire town is here. But that how it is.” Yona said, smiling at everything she was seeing. “Yaks work together, no matter what. Anon, isn’t it nice? It just like Yakyakistan.”
“Yakyakistan? Never heard of that place before. Alright guys, time to stop daydreaming and get ready to work.” Spike said as he approached the both of you. “We got things set up for your team right over there. Even got all the logs set up for pounding. Faster we get this all done, faster we can party. Oh, by the way.” Spike began to nudge into you as he snickered. “The queen even got that yeti working on the other side of town on this thing. You’re lucky your aunt is nice to you, Anon, because I’ve never seen a yeti so scared of her in my life.”
Christ, seriously? Yak Fluttershy must be some battle hardened warrior yak in this version of the world to help get a yeti to help build this wall. “Wow, that surprising. Aunt Fluttershy really that scary?”
“Only when you threaten her friends and family. Anyway, Queen Twilight asked me to remind you not to use your head, okay? Yeah, we all get it, it’s super strong, but we really don’t feel like repairing half the town, okay? I’m serious, Anon, don’t be lazy, and don’t rush things. The other yaks really want to party down after all this and I don’t think your rep can take another hit if you screw things up again.” Spike explained.
Christ, it really was that bad? Pinkie mentioning it is one thing, but Spike made it seem like you were some sort of asshole about it. “S-spike, c’mon. Anon know what he doing, why does Spike have to mention it like that?”
Spike sighed and shook his head. “C’mon, Anon, we all know why. We get it, you’re the adopted son of the ‘not so great’ fifteenth yak spirit, Discord. But that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want all the time, okay? It’s either you’re hanging out with the evil dark witch or getting into trouble with the Canterlot High Council, and none of that looks good on us, or you. For once, please, dude, just use the mallet. Okay? Please?”
For some reason, that stung pretty bad. It was almost like your yak version was actually hated versus your pony self. You just stood there, thinking about what you could have done to gain that much ire. Was it more than you apparently destroying the town? Was it something worse? No, actually, it was obvious, wasn’t it? If you were a close match to your pony self, then it was clear yaks had less patience for the bullshit you’d pull. But, you were improving, weren’t you? The only major fuck up was with the Storm Ravager, thats it. It just had to be how yaks were, they were obviously just less patient, that’s all. Right? “Y-yeah, Anon can do it.”
“Cool, thanks, Anon, really. None of us want to be mad at you, okay? But you gotta give us a reason not to, y’know? Anyway, I’m gonna go back to the queen now, we’re probably gonna go check the progress of the wall on the other side of town.” Spike said as he gave your side a gentle pat and walked off.
Yona noticed you weren’t really moving though, she noticed you seemed rather upset. “Anon, a-are you okay?”
“Anon… Anon don’t know. Y-yona, is Anon that big a jerk? What Ocellus say about Anon?” You asked, slowly turning your head towards her.
“Erm, Yona don’t think she should say. Yona actually not like hearing about it. Ocellus just seem not herself whenever she talk about what Anon does when Anon does bad things.” Yona said, as she became uncomfortable with the situation.
“Please? Can Yona just say? Anon promise not to hate Ocellus, Anon just… Anon just want to know.” You said, trying to mentally prep yourself for whatever she was about to say.
“Anon… Yona shouldn’t say. But, erm, if Yona was to say something. Yona would say that Yona doesn’t think Anon bad pony. Erm, it just seem like Anon likes to do whatever Anon wants, even if Anon shouldn’t. But, erm, like Yona just say, Anon not bad pony. Anon just need to be nicer pony.” Yona said, before giving you an awkwardly wide smile. “Anon, you good friend, that is most important thing. Anon do good things all the time, that why Anon 'Hero Colt'”
Were you? Did you? Hell, you looked back and Yona, and realized you tried to cheat her out of this whole project thing in the first place with your spell, to just get through it as easily and painlessly as possible. And really, despite it being a short time already, you can see that yaks were honest, hard working, and had deep familial ties, perhaps even more so than ponies, as you couldn’t see every pony in town working on a project like this without some disorganization or complaint. You were literally the only yak who seemed to cause some sort of major problem. To the point that the history you have, somehow, has you as the black sheep of the whole town. But goddamn, why? You do so much good too, right? You reformed Chrysalis, to the point she teamed up with Celestia! You… Just kind of fuck up with everyone else that isn’t her. Discord, Twilight, Cozy, Ocellus, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Scrappy…
“Yona, whatever Ocellus said, I… Look, it probably is true. I’m not as perfect, or as great, as I like to think I am. I screw up a lot, even when I try to do good. And sometimes, I do things that aren’t good, and are for my own personal benefit. I dunno, I try to change, but I just screw up from somewhere and end up at square one. It’s not like I hate anypony, I just… I just do what I do. I dunno, seeing Sweetie Belle actually working with Rarity, seeing everycreature in town work on this wall, and then finding out I’m the only one who seems to cause enough trouble for Spike to treat me like that. I dunno, I just don’t know. I don’t want my friends to hate me like that… I mean, I don’t care if ponies who don’t know me hate me, but it hurts to know my friends just kinda see me like that. To think about how it affects Aunt Fluttershy, how much she has to work to make me look better than I make myself look like sometimes. I mean, I can see why yaks are so close knit now. Family and friendship is more important to them than I realized, and their entire society works despite all the negatives because even if one of you were to be knocked down, the rest of you would stand up for them. I’m sorry if I made you feel bad about all I’ve said about yaks. Really, I’m worse than any yak.” You said, lamenting on how much of an asshole you seemed to be seen as. Feeling like shit that you could insult Yona in any way when you were the one everyone had a problem with. You couldn’t imagine how it must have looked back with everyone you actually know. Hell, you wondered if even Lyra and Bon Bon had bad shit to say about you. Like, really bad shit.
“Anon, all Yona going to say is Anon is probably thinking too much about it. Anon is fine, maybe not best at friendship in some places, but very good at friendship in others. Anon doesn’t have to be like yak to be good. Anon good the way Anon is. But… Yona is glad to hear that Anon more understanding of yaks.” Yona said, sounding rather cheery. “Anon should just be Anon, and just improve in bad spots.”
“Heh, you think I’m not that bad? But what about what Ocellus said?” You asked, still feeling some self doubt.
“It just how Ocellus feel, it not how Yona feel, or how others feel. If Anon feeling that bad about what Ocellus say, Anon should talk to Ocellus then. That only way to make things right.” Yona explained before giggling. "Yona be honest, Anon have big big head, but Yona think Anon has big heart too. You helping evil bug queen take big heart, and Yona know you help her someday."
Fuck… That’s actually good advice. And hell, you haven't told her you already managed that. Wait, that's it! Fuck, it’s so obvious! “Yeah, I should do that. And I should be willing to listen to her, and compromise, and all that good stuff! Yona, woah, I mean, it should have been obvious, but I just couldn’t see it. I gotta say, yaks best at advice that Anon need. Aha!” You said with a chuckle.
“Good! Now that Anon feeling better, Yona want to ask something.” Yona said, as she seemed to be looking up at something.
“What is it?” You asked, confused.
“What that?” Yona said as she pointed towards a giant neon sign, with the name ‘Jimmy’s Hive Casino’ flashing in brilliant green, as a huge twisted spire stood before the both of you, neon lights twisting all over it to make it look like an infested hive-like tower.
Wait… You were a pony again, and water was flowing upwards in the distance, and there was an icy volcano in the sky, and…
Oh god, the yak part of the project was over! You came to understand not only yaks, but yourself, and that yaks were dumb and... OH GOD! THE ADVENTURE, THE ADVENTURE OF YOU! OH GOD, NO! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BONBON THING! YOUR HORN! YOU STILL DIDN’T HAVE IT! OH GOOD LORD! THIS WAS THE ADVENTURE! THIS IS BAD! GOOD GOD, NO! OH NO!
This wasn’t good! Why did the spell choose to take you here?! The both of you here?! You tried focusing your magic on going back home, but without the horn, you just looked like a crazy person trying to shit himself. “C’mon! C’mon!”
“Anon? Do you need bathroom? Erm…” Yona took another look around, and could only guess that this newfound place she arrived at may have one. She just wasn’t sure if it was safe. “Yona think there might be bathroom in weird place, but Yona don’t know if Yona should knock first or try to call for somecreature.”
Dammit! You weren’t going to get anywhere like this, and Yona, you could tell, was growing more curious by the second about this place. “Yona, we can’t be here, okay? It isn’t safe, and I don’t want either of us to be in trouble” But again, where would you both go? Staying outside for an hour may not even work, as the spell might keep you both here until ‘something’ is accomplished. “I… I don’t know what to do though.”
“Yona knock then, see if bathroom is free.” Yona approaches the door and prepares to knock. You turn white with fright, actually afraid of that maniac and what he might do to you and Yona if he spotted you both. But before you could stop her, before you could snap back to reality, Yona knocks on the door. “Hello, anycreature there? Yona’s friend need to use bathroom, please.”
“Yona! Why did you do that!?” You yelled, actually startling the poor yak.
“Y-yona just trying to help. D-doesn’t Anon need to go?” She asked, stepping back away from you, startled and unnerved by your frightened and crazed expression.
“I… Ugh, Yona It’s! It’s! NGH! Dammit…” What were you going to get mad at her for? Especially since you panicked instead of explaining yourself. All you could do is stare at her, and remember that she’s your friend, an honorable friend at that. She looked so confused, and even hurt, and over what? You’re the one who cast the spell, you were the idiot who made things this way. For whatever this was, Yona was your partner, and you knew she felt the same. So… Be honest, Anon, don't fuck up your progress now. “Okay… Okay… Look, this place used to be my house, alright? But my dad, he sorta made a bunch of bets to this creepy changeling that rooms with us and we ended up losing the place because of him.”
“Ooooooh, is that why Anon sleep at Professor Aunt’s cottage?” Yona asked.
“Y-yeah, that’s why I’ve been sleeping there. Yona, I’m gonna be honest with you, that changeling? He takes the form of what I used to be, a human, and he’s taken on some traits you might not understand. He’s dangerous, period, and we shouldn’t be messing with him. We should just ask if we can use my portal door and go home, okay? Try to keep things simple.” You were being calm, reasonable, and even giving her your big adorable eyes to persuade her to follow your lead. Jimmy letting you use the portal door for free might not be an option anyway. You had no clue what was about to happen.
“Changeling really that bad? Hmph, Yona think Anon might be scared for no reason. Yona not scared, and Yona make sure changeling not bully Anon. Yona even get house back! Yaks best at challenges and-EEP!” Yona takes a jump back when the door to the casino slams open. Oh shit, he was here.
Jimmy, donned in human form and wearing a slick black suit with red tie, steps out as he straightens it. He didn’t say a word, he just looked over to you, then to Yona, then back to you, taking special notice of a lack of a horn, and grinned. “What is this, Anon? A sidepiece? Or is this all you could get after your marefriend dumped you? She dumped you, right?”
“Yona not sidepiece! Yona whole piece! And Yona here to challenge weird changeling to getting house back!” Yona said with a stomp, shaking the floating island. She didn’t seem as weirded out as you thought she’d be, she just suddenly seems determined to help you.
You just slammed your hoof into your face at Yona’s words. You could hear Jimmy snickering, the bastard. “Look, Jimmy. Whatever, we ended up here by mistake. Can we use my portal door to get out of here?” You tried to sound as sincere as you could, but Jimmy just shrugged as he walked around Yona, still smirking that evil smirk.
“That’s pretty pathetic, Anon, asking me to let you go back to Ponyville for free. Tsk tsk, that ain’t happening. As for you, you say you want to win his house back? Interesting, int-er-rest-ing. Are you being honest about that, yak girl?” Jimmy said with a snicker and he crossed his arms, awaiting her answer.
“Yona have name, it Yona! And of course Yona challenge weird changeling. Why do you look like weird minotaur thing anyway? Yona never seen… Ooooh, that what humans look like? Erm, Yona not want to say anything mean, but Yona also think changeling should not be what he not.” Yona said, making you slam your hoof onto your face again. Hoo boy, this is already not going well.
“I’m better at it than him.” He said, getting a little salty as he pointed towards you. He then cooled down and walked towards the door to invite you both in. “Anyway, that's not what's important now, is it? You're both here, and Anon ain't being his usual cocky self. What’s wrong, Anon? Afraid of losing? Afraid of her losing? I’m a generous guy, I can provide you both twenty chips for whatever you want. Of course, if you run out, and you can’t pay em back. Well, I welcome you both to the staff.” He said before letting out a boisterous laugh.
“What?! Why would we agree to that?! Yona, forget this! He wants us to bet our freedom! We can’t win this, okay? This guy is a cheat, I promise you he has the games rigged.” You then looked towards Jimmy as you narrowed your eyes towards him. “You do, don’t you? You wouldn’t be this confident unless Dad gave you some kind of power over your shitty casino.”
Jimmy shrugged. “Who can say? I can open up any of the machines if you want to check em. Think of it as me being hospitable despite you being a smart mouth.”
“They were made with chaos magic, so I doubt there’d even be a point. Yona, forget this, okay? This is not the kind of adventure we should be on. This isn’t a challenge, he’s leading us to be slaughtered. I’m telling you as a friend, we can’t do this, not without my horn.” You pleaded with her, knowing this was a lost cause.
“Yona not like how he talk, Yona not like how slimy changeling is. Yona challenge changeling to normal challenge, not weird machine games! Yona demand challenge, now!” Yona said with another stomp, no longer faltering in front of Jimmy.
“The name’s Jimmy, yak girl. And you’re on my turf, meaning you play by my rules.” Jimmy said as he put his hands together and rubbed, producing forty chips, twenty of them having yours and Yona’s face each. He held them out towards the both of you with an insidious grin. “What’s a few games gonna hurt anyway? You’re only mine if you lose them all. C’mon, take a chance.”
“Yona not 'yak girl'! Yona name Yona! Yona not like it when changeling treat her like she not good! Grrr.” Yona growled towards him, and marched up and took her chips as she leered towards Jimmy. “Yona going to win, then Yona make Jimmy apologize to Yona and Anon.”
“I’m sure that’ll happen.” Jimmy said as he gave her a gentle pat and walked up to you. You were about to call out to Yona, but she was already dead set on spending her chips to win and take the house back. “So, I’m gonna guess you cast another one of your spells wrong, huh? Great! I can’t wait to see Discord’s stupid face when you’re working for me.” Jimmy then shrugged with an evil chuckle. “And the queen? Oh, oooooh, Anon, you have no idea how much I want to see her face when she sees me walking you on a leash. It’ll be delicious.”
“Fuck you, Jimmy! Do you think I’m going to be stupid enough to use all my chips?” You asked him angrily.
“Does that mean you’re going to play?” Jimmy said as he held your chips towards you, giving you a snide look.
You take them, staring at him hard, letting him know you weren’t afraid of him. “It means I’m going to figure out what you’ve done to the machines and turn it against you. I’m the chaos master around here, no-NGHRDGBF” Suddenly, without warning, Jimmy grabbed you by the throat and held you up as he suddenly became furious.
“You listen to me, you little shit! I will never forgive you for what you did to me! I will never let that go! I’d end you right now if it didn’t mean Discord wouldn’t make me into dog food later. You fucked up a spell, well too bad, you’re here now under my good graces and when I tell you to play, you’re gonna play, and you’re gonna lose. You’re right, you little shit, I do have the place rigged. I even have those chips rigged, and your little friend has already stepped inside, there’s no turning back for either of you now. Either you spend the chips trying to win, or you check them all in for the time spent in my casino. Either way, you already lost, and you’re already mine. All this? This is a fucking formality. Now get in there, you little shit!” Jimmy said as he turned and threw you into the casino like a fucking sack of coins.
You rolled across a dark red and black carpet into the casino floor. Goddamit, that fucker was already playing for keeps. What the hell were you going to do now?! You slowly stood up, realizing you were now caught up in an impromptu revenge scheme.
The casino’s interior was breathtaking. Despite it being mostly black, green, and red, the neon lights that mimicked the hive’s walls glowed and lit up the place as various video poker and slot machines littered the first floor of the spire. These machines were made to resemble futuristic looking pods. There were also stairs that led up to another floor, no doubt holding the higher tier games. In the center was a huge circular bar with many a drink and neon green seats. Jimmy walked over to it silently, walking right by you, once again straightening his tie as he stepped behind the counter…
…And watched.
Dammit… “Yona?! Yona! Where did you go? Wh- Yona! What are you doing?!” You could see her standing in front of a video poker screen. But so far, she didn’t seem to be doing anything, she just kind of stared at it. “Yona?”
“Anon… Yona confused. Yona see place to put chip thing, but Yona not understand game, Yona not understand magic window thing.” Yona said as she poked at the screen, not understanding the large pictures of the cards that were onscreen “Anon say game rigged. Yona smart, not play until she figure out bad game.”
Whew, okay, that was pretty smart. But you had to tell her what Jimmy told you, as you were both now trapped within the walls of the casino. “Yona, we gotta figure it out quick. Jimmy is also charging us for our stay here. He waited for you to walk inside to mention that. If we take too long, he’s going to own us. He has literal magical power over this entire casino, and that isn't good.”
Yona stopped, and growled. “Yona not like Jimmy at all. Underhoofed tricks bad, very bad. But Yona think we have hour, just like Yakville. But… Yona think this place real, also… Anon, Yona have question.”
“What is it?” You asked her, as you prepped a chip. You wanted to see how the video poker played, see if it gave bad cards or if it gave some hope of a good hand before tripping up on the last card.
“Does Anon think Jimmy use chaos magic on weird games?” Yona asked as she looked inquisitively at the poker machine. “If Jimmy can do all this bad things, then maybe he have magic over weird machines.”
…
Wait…
“Yona… Hold on.” You began to ponder on it yourself. Jimmy had power over the casino, he forged the chips from his own hand. He somehow has the ability to keep you both here should you lose said chips. So then, Discord must have given him powers over the casino. Could that be the real reason Discord… No, because he could override it himself if he wanted to, he’d find a way. But to stay on point, it means Jimmy has chaotic control over this entire casino, and the 'rules non-rules' that go along with it. It made you ponder as you slowly raise a chip, and place it into the machine, and start to play.
“Anon, huh?! We shouldn’t play yet, we still need to figure out trick!” Yona said, surprised that you suddenly started playing the machine.
But you were deep in thought as you tried the machine. As you both thought, you lose with only a pair of jacks, as the machine needs at least a two pair at the minimum to return a played chip. Ignoring Yona, you try again, and once again, you lose, this time with just a completely bad assortment of cards. “Yona, what is Jimmy doing right now?”
“U-uhm, Jimmy... “ Yona peered over, and could see him cleaning a glass as he kept his eyes directly on the both of you. “Jimmy staring like big creep. B-but, why is Anon putting in chips if Anon losing?”
“Because… If Jimmy is using chaos magic, or some crappy version of it, then it should work the same as my horn. He needs to put some thought into it. He doesn’t need to look at us, I think, but he wants to, he wants to see us lose. He’s thinking about it, and so, he’s making it happen. He’s not even going to give us a chance, since he knows we have no choice but to play.”
“What?! But that just cheating! Nocreature should do that, it wrong!” Yona said, astounded by your words.
“Welcome to chaos, Yona. But hey, if I’m right, then I got an idea to win, and we only need to waste a single chip. You game, Yona?” You said, smirking darkly as you looked over to her.
“Erm, Yona think she game? But, what Anon have in mind?” Yona asked, confused.
“The slot machine, it uses a certain set of pictures to represent possible combinations for a win. But we’re going to be focusing on the jackpot, lucky number seven.” You said, keeping your eyes on the poker machine so as to not arouse suspicion.
“Yona… Not understand any of that.” Yona said, deeply confused.
“Essentially, I’m gonna go chat Jimmy up. I’m gonna just talk to the guy, get his mind on something else. And when I, say, slam my hooves on that counter, I need you to put in a chip and pull the arm of the slot machine.” You say, as you began to ponder what kind of conversation you’d have with Jimmy.
“Erm, does Anon mean those machines there? Yona just put in chip and pull? Yona can do that, but…” Yona stops, and suddenly, it just hits her. “...Does Anon mean Anon make Jimmy focus on thing that make us win?” Yona asked, as she believed she figured it out.
You nodded. “Exactly. Yona, you don’t have a problem with it, right? Because I’m telling you right now, I need you here, I want to take this guy down.”
Yona shook her head, she had no qualms with the plan. “Yona have no problem, Yona not like Jimmy, he big cheater anyway.”
You walked over to the bar, making sure to give Jimmy a nasty look to make sure he didn’t suspect anything. You had a plan. Chaos is whatever you make of it, to the point that you’ll most likely make it into the concept you thought of while the actual parts don’t match the blueprints. Jimmy obviously had control of everything in the casino, but he most likely had to focus to get the results he wanted. Sooooooooo, all you had to do was…
You hopped up onto one of the seats and took the time to settle on your ass as you looked at the bar. It was pretty fancy, drinks you have and have never heard of littered the shelves behind Jimmy. The bar itself was in a circle, allowing Jimmy to walk to whatever seat he went to serve quickly. He smirked at you, and walked over to the shelves to pull out a random drink. “So, gave up already? Or were you planning to fight me?”
“Nope, I just need seven shots of whatever you got in your hands there. If I have to be here, I’m gonna be seven times drunk.” You said, stretching your shoulders some to relax yourself.
“What? In that body? And this drink? I doubt you could handle one, much less seven… That’ll be seven chips by the way.” Jimmy said with no actual care for you, none whatsoever in his tone, as he took out a shot glass for you and poured some of the drink into it. “There’s your first, you little shit.”
“Seven chips? My guy, I’ve lived here for seven years, seven months exactly! Don’t I get a discount that works for a week or something? You know, seven days?” You say grudgingly, not taking your drink, refusing his service.
“Seven years?! A discount?! What the hell are you talking about?!” Jimmy said, enraged and confused by your weird ranting. “You haven’t been here that long, idiot! I know you, you haven’t lost your mind either. So what the hell are you planning? Are you trying to get to your portal door upstairs? Because, guess what, moron. Without my permission, none of those doors will ever open! Now, do you want the drink? Or do you want me to break this bottle over your face?”
“Geez, if I had to rate your sense of humor, I’d give it a seven. Relax, Jimmy, I’m just getting some licks in before I end up losing in what, seven hours? I gotta say, this was quite the trap, must have taken seven brains to come up with, since you got none to think of this yourself.” You said with a cackle.
“Well, ha ha, aren’t you the jokester? You’re getting on my nerves, Anon. And trust me, I have no problems giving you a beating once you work for me. Discord can’t do anything once you’re mine, it is alllll part of the deal, or did you not know that? So, let’s see, seven years? Seven moons? More like seven trillion moons of service, if you can even live that long! See, I can joke too. Though the reality is you’ll just be under my foot forever, that’s all.” Jimmy said with a boisterous laugh. “No, you don’t know shit, do you? Chaos magic is crazy, isn’t it? Even the spirit of chaos himself can’t go against the flow of his own magic. I mean, yeah, sure, he can try, and he may even succeed… But it’ll be over your corpse.”
Geez, that actually filled you with dread. Jimmy… he somehow became more dangerous than ever before. Did he really have that much of an understanding of chaos? No, that’s impossible, this would be the first time he has chaos as a magic rather than a force. He was trying to scare you. Don’t be scared, Anon, stick to the plan. “Man, edge much? What? Are you going to cut me into seven pieces or something?”
“Seven hundred, just to store it for lunch. Are you having a pissing contest with me, Anon? Is that it? Ohhhh, wait, I get it, you’re trying to get me angry enough to really hurt you, aren’t you? Well, you got me, Anon. I’ll tell you the truth, I can’t end you. Discord did make it clear everything would be gone if something lethal happened to you, or his little girlfriend, should she ever show up.” He said as he threw the drink out of the shot glass and started to clean it. “Doesn’t matter though, you’re mine either way, so why don’t you go back to your little yak friend, spend your chips, and get it over with?”
That was… weird. Not exactly what you were trying to get from him, but it was good to know he couldn’t actually kill you. Figured he didn't have that much control over the power of chaos. It made you wonder how much of a front he was putting on. Though, you had to put those thoughts away for now, you had to get this done before he owned you and Yona, as he may be stalling for time. “Well, that’s good to know, I guess. So what? Deep down, do you just wanna be my seventh friend? We could have those seven drinks together if that is what you want.”
Jimmy started laughing, he held onto the counter and just laughed and laughed before looking at you with a crazed grin. “Friends, with you?! Is that where you think I was getting at?! You fucking moron! You dipshit! I’d never be friends with you, not in seven trillion moons, not ever! You’re an annoying piece of shit! You don’t love, even Chrysalis couldn’t feed off you, because that's how shitty you really are! Friends?! Are you really that stupid? Fuck off, and stop saying that goddamn number! What is with you and seven? What? Am I supposed to be remembering some traumatic crap that happened on the seventh or something? What the hell is your angle here, Anon?”
That was it, he had the number on his mind! You had it!
You slammed your hooves onto the counter to signal Yona, and got into his face. Because not only were you going to win, you were going to let him know that he was wrong, and that he was the truly shitty one. “Big talk from an ex-captain! How did you even end up where you were, Jimmy? Oh, that’s right, you tried to stage a rebellion. You fucked that up! You tried to kill me and Scrappy! You fucked that up! You tried to kill me as an eyeball monster! You fucked that up! And despite all that, the only reason you have this crappy casino is because I let you back in the house in the first place! If anything, you owe me, Jimmy…” And that’s when you both heard it. You both turned your head to see the slot machine Yona was on glowing and flashing as a big loud voice congratulated her on being a ‘Jackpot winner’. “...And you can start by giving us the house back.” Oh yeah, baby! It’s victory time!
But something was wrong. Jimmy was just staring, suddenly as calm as a resting cat, as he slowly turned over to you with an evil grin. “Well, well, we got a big winner. Let me guess, she got lucky number seven, didn’t she? That is right, isn’t it, Anon?”
Suddenly, your grin disappeared as you began to become deathly pale. What was going on? “U-uhhh, yeah? You lost, so it should be over. So why aren’t you pissed off?”
Jimmy chuckled as leaned back against the shelves and gave you a smarmy smirk. “Well, what? You can’t figure it out? Do I have to spell it out for you, dumbass? I know exactly how many chips you both have, and they have all been auto deposited to pay for your stay here in my casino. Congrats, you won’t be taken up by my more than generous time limit. But rules are rules…” He said darkly "...And my rules are simple. You don’t leave until you can pay for your way out! You guys only have one chip now, of course, among the both of you. But hey, at least you have all the time in the world to decide how to spend it. Now how about that drink, huh?”
Wut?! WUT?! You look over to Yona, who was already panicking as all the chips began to fly straight up and away. You nearly turned ghost white, were you bamboozled?! How did he..?! You then hear a chip land on the counter, flipped onto it by Jimmy, who stood up straight and walked over to the shelves, and grabbed one of the beer taps. “I was hoping you would look so shocked, Anon. You’re wondering how I knew you’d go for the jackpot. You’re cursing yourself for not realizing you’d have to pay for the entrance fee to my casino, despite it obviously being a thing since you had to pay to stay. You are so shocked that I managed to figure out the tropes before you did, and are trying to figure out my grand master plan. Well, I already told you what that was, I just thought I’d get a few jollies watching you trying to thwart it.”
“But, how?! How were you so prepared?! That’s impossible!” You spat out. This had to be a dream, a trick, perhaps another fake world like the yak one!
“I really wasn’t prepared, that’s the best part. But I did have a lot of training for just this kind of occasion.” Jimmy pulled the beer tap down like a lever, opening the cabinets on the top of the bar, causing it to spew an almost never ending collection of dvds, blu rays, and video cassettes. They bury you, crashing into you. You had to slowly crawl out, and was befuddled by what he was showing you as you gasped for air.
“T-the hell is all this?! What does this have to d-do with anything?” What the hell was going on?!
“Tropes, Anon, tropes! As you’ve noted yourself, this entire universe runs on it! It took me a while to realize what you really meant, to accept that this is how things are, but I needed to if I was going to win. It’s funny too, I tried to get that idiot ‘king’ to join in on it, but he refused to believe in its power. I wonder if he ever realized what an idiot he was… Wait, I don’t actually care about that.” Jimmy said with despicable glee as he changed into his chaotic changeling form, still donned in a suit, as he jumped onto his media pile, looking at you with his shimmering yellow eyes as his sharkish tail swayed to and fro. “What I do care about is beating you, all of you! You’re just the shitty little appetizer for my revenge against Chrysalis. You know what this is, Anon, this is your human legacy giving me everything I need to rule the world! I know everything, I have learned every trick to ensure total domination! I am the captain! No, the KING! KING JIMMY! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He began to laugh maniacally as you slipped backwards, down the mountain of media, back onto the ground. Jimmy hopped up on the pile above you, and looked down at you with a genuinely creepy smile. “Awww, poor Anon. Never thought in seven million moons that he could be beaten so easily. I made sure my time with Discord was a lucrative one. I am unbeatable, Anon, you are outclassed! You’ve forgotten what it’s like to be human, meanwhile I have mastered it! Any trick you pull? I can see right through it. So, the question is, what are you going to do now?”
You were laying down on your belly, defeated, your face in the carpet in between the slot machines. It was over, there was no way to beat Jimmy now.
“Anon, we can’t give up! Yak never give up! There must be something!” Yona exclaimed. You had told her what Jimmy told you, that he had gained the ability to see whatever you might have planned through pure contingency and 'out and in the box thinking'. “We still have chip!”
“We have one chip, and the slimy creep told me we only need one more to buy the house back. He’s being cocky on purpose to make me think he can still be tricked…” You said, unmoving.
“Only one? Then we challenge to yak challenge again! Over and over! Until Jimmy says yes! If Yona have to think like human, Yona think like human, even if Yona knows nothing about human! Yona want to try to be like Anon to beat crummy changeling.” Yona said, as she tried to keep yours and hers spirit up.
“He won’t do it, and he’ll just leave us here so we can’t bother him. He’s only out here now to laugh at us.” You said with a groan.
“Then we wait! Wait until he get tired and want Yona and Anon to leave!” Yona said.
“He said he’d wait for us to starve and beg for food and water…” You said, rolling onto your back and looking up at the never ending rise of the spired casino. "Make us pay for it with our only chip"
“He’d end you, shove my face into your corpse, then laugh about it.” You said, not caring if what you said was dark.
Yona’s eyes went wide, she began to shiver from how cold that sounded. “What if-” But before she could finish her thought, Jimmy appeared from above her, still in changeling form, and spooked her enough to cause her to fall forward.
“What if you tried to trick ole’ Jimmy with some kind of amazing human trick he’d never see coming? Like telling him he never gave Anon a chip so you can ask for another one, or maybe getting him to open up one of his safes or machines so you could secretly pluck one out? Oh oh! I got one! Why don’t we smash Jimmy like a bug when he isn’t looking? Why don’t we do anything? Oh right…” Jimmy got into Yona’s face as he transformed into a twisted version of her with burning yellow eyes. “Because Yakky too soft to do anything! And Anon too dumb to beat Jimmy!”
“Yakky?” Yona, despite having been scared of the threat of being killed, would not buckle under Jimmy himself. She was sick of his dickishness, sick of him making you, her friend, feel bad. And she was especially sick of… “Yona not Yakky! Yona name Yona! Yona should… Yona should charge Jimmy for getting name wrong!”
“ERRRR!” Jimmy said, making a ‘wrong buzzer’ like noise. “Wrong-o! You can’t charge me anything, ‘Yona’. My house, my rules, and maybe you don’t know the phrase, but the house always wins.” He said with a wink towards her. “Hey, Anon, you’re looking a little down. C’mon, I’ll give you the strongest drink I got, just gotta pay onnneeee little chip. I’ll even give you the whole bottle, since I’m such a nice guy.”
You just laid there. Even in your depression, you were trying to think of something, but all you had was… WAIT! You jump up with a smirk as you place your hoof on your ear. “Stupid motherfucker! I still go-... Oh no…” Your codec… It was still there! But… All it was producing was static.
Jimmy just walked over to you, bringing his face down to meet with yours as he gave you a sinister grin. “Something wrong, Anon?”
“N-ngh, how did you… You shouldn’t be able to jam my codec.” You said, backing away slowly from him. There was no way, even if this was his casino, you hadn’t agreed to be his or let him affect any of your belongings.
“Oh, Anon, please. I’m a being of chaos now, I feed on it. And I can still feast on those superb emotions of yours too. See where I’m going with this?” Jimmy said with a low chuckle.
“...You’re eating my signal waves?! You're predicting me through my emotions?!” N-no! Dammit!
Jimmy slowly nodded, his smirk almost leaving his face as his eyes sharpened. “Mhmmmmm, delicious too. Any other ideas, genius?”
You began to shiver. Did you? Could you beat him in a fight if you and Yona jumped him anyway? No, he’d be too ferocious, he’d just take out Yona and mock you, staying out of your range. This bastard, he’s become far crueler than any other villain you’ve faced thus far.
“That’s right, let it settle in. Mmmmm, so delicious, no wonder our dear queen loved feasting on you. Human dread is quite the delicacy.” Jimmy then turned to Yona, pointing towards you with his hoof. “So, you don’t like me all too much, huh? What about him, though? What is he worth to you?”
“Anon Yona’s friend. Anon worth lots. Why Jimmy asking? If you make Yona mad, then Yona squash you like bug!” Yona threatened, hoping that he really wasn’t as malicious and unrelenting as you had described.
“Oh? I’d love to see that.” He said as his eyes began to glow a bright yellow. “I’d really love to SEE it. Didn’t Anon tell you what would happen if you tried to fight me? Oh, let me show you, little yak.” Jimmy looked over to one of his slot machines and fired a huge laser blast towards it with his eyes, melting it while also blasting it away into a wall. He then began to cackle madly. “Did you see that?! I still got it! Oh yeah, I’m so glad I got to keep this power, it comes in handy, you know?”
Yona gulped as the machine fell back onto the ground in near liquid form. “U-uhh…” Finally, she was in pure dread and terror.
“That’s right, take it in, that’s what would happen. And it is all thanks to Anon, isn’t it? You ended up here because of him. You had no idea what kind of changeling I am. You probably thought I was like one of Chrysalis’s brood, or just like Chrysalis herself. If you made that guess, you’re pretty wrong about it, obviously. Ahrm…” Jimmy then turned into his human self, and looked towards Yona with a more friendly grin as he waved his hand back through his hair to fix it up. “But we’re getting off track. Look, Anon is, as much as I hate to admit it, the real deal. He’s a human under all that fluff and skin. Now, you may not know it, as I somehow think you haven’t been around him for that long, but humans don’t really care about anyone if they aren’t useful, arousing, or on the best terms with. You’re a girl, for sure, but I don’t see Anon being into you…” Jimmy said as he began to circle Yona, taking in her look. “Tch, no magic, no flight? You’re not useful either. And I somehow have a feeling you both aren’t exactly the best of friends.”
“Anon good friend, just like all Yona’s friends! What Jimmy saying anyway? That Anon bad? Anon not bad! Anon just Anon!” Yona said, trying to speak in your defense.
“‘Anon just Anon’ you say? Hm, but isn’t that the problem? Aren’t you aware of what he does when you’re not around? What he says behind his friends’ back? Hmm?” W-what was Jimmy insinuating? The way he was looking at her, passing glances at you, like… Was he trying to turn Yona against you? That’s fucking stupid, it’d never work.
“What the hell, Jimmy! Are you serious? What are you trying to get out of this?” You slowly stood up, asking him, curious as to what batshit idea he might have… While thinking of a way to exploit it to your advantage.
“Stay out of this, runt!” Jimmy, out of nowhere, kicks you into the slot machine you were next to, causing you to yelp in pain as you fall back down in front of both of them, twitching. The chip you had flies down next to Yona, falling flat near her leg.
“Anon! You, YOU!” Yona had death in her eyes. She couldn’t stand seeing such unnecessary violence being committed, especially to what she perceived was a foal. No friend, and no foal, deserves this!
“Save it, he had it coming. Try attacking me if you want, but you’ll only make it worse for him. Or maybe, that’s what you want deep inside. You do, right?” Jimmy asked, being wary of her horns as he continued his arrogant attitude. “Surely someone has told you what he does. You’re here, right? You know about me. Maybe I’m just not thinking of it right, but you have to know something if you’ve spent time with any of his other friends. Come on, Yakka, testify.” Jimmy said, awaiting her reply as he waved his arms up to emphasize his words like a church pastor would.
“Yona NOT Yakka! Or Yakky! Or anything else! Yona is Yona! And why Jimmy hit Anon?! Yona sick of Jimmy, Yona demand second chip! If Anon guest, then Jimmy s-” But Yona is interrupted. Jimmy waves his hand at her, shaking his head before he waggles his finger.
“Ah ah, I’m telling you, you shouldn’t do that. Listen to what I have to say before you act, alright? But first, answer my question. Do you know anyone, or rather, anycreature who knows Anon well enough to tell you what he’s really like?” Jimmy asked, still being wary of Yona’s actions, ready to strike if he needs to.
Yona hesitated, but she decided to answer Jimmy, while trying to find some opening, or even a way to fool him. “...Ocellus tell Yona things, but Yona think she exaggerating. Nocreature act like what Ocellus say.” Yona said, standing firm, trying to figure out a way to save you and defeat Jimmy in her head. Yet… She seemed to be feeling something, some sort of anger, as she began to think of the words Ocellus had told her about you.
“Ocellus? Ocellus?!” Jimmy nearly fell over in hysterical laughter when he heard that name.
“W-what? W-why Ocellus name funny?” Yona asked, confused, and worried over his dark laughter.
“It isn’t, it’s just the fact that it’s her! She was the nicest and wimpiest changeling we had next to that loser, Thorax!” Jimmy zipped over to Yona and held her as he spoke close to her ear. “She would never ever speak bad or even rat out any changeling not doing their duty. She never spoke bad about anything, and boy, did it piss me and the queen off. So to find out even Ocellus talks bad about Anon is a real treat. You know Ocellus enough to know how nice she is, right? For her to talk bad about anypony means they aren’t very nice at all.”
Yona shook Jimmy off and stepped away from him, growing ever more confused. “What Jimmy talking about?”
Jimmy smacked his forehead and shook his head, utterly blown away by Yona’s ignorance. “It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you the whole time! Anon may not be evil, per se, but he’s not a good guy at all! He’s not worth anypony’s friendship! What did Ocellus tell you, huh? Did she mention Anon’s full involvement with my old queen? Did she mention how Anon treats fillies and mares? I knew about her crush on him before, and I promise you Anon told her something along the lines of…” He then transformed into you, as he spoke in a self mocking tone. “Man, Ocellus, I would have totally blown off all the girls and my friends to be with a changeling that could be any girl I want. In fact, if my whole thing with Diamond doesn’t work out, I’d love to show you a whole new form of ‘love’.” He then looked to you with a cruel snicker as he changed back to human form. “Was I close, Anon?”
You were in too much pain from that kick, you slowly stood up and nearly crawled towards him, doing your best to speak. “N-ngh! S-shut up, t-that’s not… That’s not how it-” But he interrupted you as he swiftly gave you a gentler and insulting little kick to knock you back down, hitting you where you were bruised from impact with the machine.
“Yeah, yeah, close enough. What about you, I was close, right? I have to be, and I bet there’s even more she told you, vented to you, right?” Jimmy said, genuinely curious as to what she had to say.
Yona began to shake, she seemed to be at odds with herself. “She say Anon not learn much. Whenever Anon learn something, Anon not follow through. That Anon use friends, that Anon not take them seriously. That Anon always looking at mares he likes, and treats-” But Jimmy stops her once again.
“You and other ugly little things like they’re trash. Don’t say it, I’ve known it for a very long time. I bet Sweetie Belle has had things to say about it too, Twilight Sparkle? Oh, even the princesses have butt heads with him. Why, even Applebloom’s little pet has trouble with him. But then there is poor Yona. He treated you like trash, made fun of the way you talk, insulted the yaks, and I can’t even fathom to figure out what he has said and thought on his own time.” Jimmy said as he slipped behind a slot machine and peer back out, appearing as Ocellus. “Ocellus was right, Anon never learns, he will never learn. No matter how anypony tries to convince themselves he’ll learn his lesson, Anon will go back to thinking of you as trash soon enough. By this time tomorrow, probably.” Jimmy then changes to his human form as he leans against the machine with a softer, yet deceitful smile. “But, you don’t need to stay here, Yona, you really don’t. Give me the chip, and you can leave.” Jimmy reaches over to her, holding his hand out towards her to accept the chip.
Yona stood there, silently, and looked to you for a moment. She then furrowed her brow, and looked back to Jimmy. “Jimmy say he really know Anon. Anon make promise to Yona to respect Yaks. But now Yona want to know, does Anon always break promises? Really?”
“All the time.” Jimmy said with a shrug. “And he could tell you anything he wants, he won’t follow through, ever. Trust me, going back to Ocellus, if she offered herself to him in a certain way, he’d drop his marefriend in an instant, breaking his biggest promise of all, just to be with her.”
“W-what?! Ngh, that’s not true! I’d never do that!” You said, as you looked to Yona with big teary eyes, both from emotional and physical hurt. You wouldn't betray Diamond, even if Ocellus offered 'that'. You weren't like that anymore. You had the 'you' that existed when you first came to Equestria in your head. Before, you wanted to try to get with any pony if it meant sex. Now, you'd never would, you couldn't! “I promise I wouldn’t.”
Yona stood there silently, she looked to be getting angry, she looked like she was becoming furious even. She then began to speak in a low and stoic voice. “Anon lie, Yona know from Ocellus that you look at Ocellus like marefriend.”
Wut?! “NO! I wouldn’t! I-NGH!” Before you could plead with Yona, Jimmy leans down and holds your face down onto the carpet, and then looks to Yona with a smirk.
“Don’t listen to him. If Ocellus said it, then you know it’s true. You should know just by looking at him that he’s a big liar. You know that, don’t you? I can taste it now, your hate and anger, the chaos boiling inside you. Is it because of what I’m doing to him right now, do you hate me? Or am I finally getting through to you?” Jimmy asked, awaiting her answer as he held you down.
Yona stayed silent for moments longer, her anger seemed to be building, as indicated by Jimmy’s growing arrogance. Finally, she moved her right leg… And slid the chip towards Jimmy. “Yona go home, Yona not be friend with pony who hate goodness.”
“Alright!” Jimmy exclaimed as he used his free hand to grab the chip and throw it in the air, causing it to burn out in green flames. “It’s done! Almost…”
“Y-Yona… YMNGHH!” Jimmy pressed your face harder into the carpet. What the?! No, she wasn’t actually betraying you, she was going to get help! She was just trying to trick him! R-right?
“Shut up!” Jimmy growled, before looking at Yona with a delighted smile. “That’s a lot of hate in you right now, Yona. The best kind of hate. Looks like Anon has rubbed off on you like he has on me… Good. But you can’t go just yet. You’re going to have to show me how much ha-Wha?!” To Jimmy’s surprise, Yona rushes him, shoving him back and onto his ass.
“Yona? Yona?! I knew it! C-c’mon, we can s-SDMGDFGSD” Suddenly, you let out a blood curdling scream as Yona rises up on her hind legs, and smashes your back with her right front hoof. The stomp was bone crushing, as you could actually feel your spine snap in half. Yona just stood on you, remorseless, as she stared at Jimmy while you screamed in pain.
“Yona show, now Yona go. Yona hate Jimmy… And Anon.” Yona said as she finally removed her hoof off of you as you whined in terrible pain, twitching and shaking on the ground, the situation now being in haze due to the horrific pain you now felt.
Jimmy rubbed his chin as he patted himself down, checking himself. “I can tell… Wasn't expecting that.” He whispered to himself as he stood up and looked upon you, more astonished than anything else at Yona’s handiwork. You couldn’t move your hind legs, and you were crying as you reached out to nothing. “Can’t get more hateful than that, yeesh. I’d say you overdid it, but there’s nocreature in Equestria capable of this without human influence.” Jimmy at first seemed almost wary of Yona's actions, but then he let out a breath of air, and grinned at her as he pointed to the stairs. “Alright, you proved yourself. All of Anon and Discord’s crap is on the top floor. Just find the door with a dial on it and you can leave. No tricks, promise.”
Yona said nothing, she retained her anger and hate even as she stepped away from you, never giving you another glance as she gave a death glare towards Jimmy, and went on her way.
Jimmy watched her walk off, looking for any signs that she could have been faking it. But it seems her hate, that impossible hate, was genuine, he could taste it. He then clapped his hands together and rubbed them against each other as he looked down to your whining form. “Well, that was fun! On to the next step of my plan!”
“Y-yona… Y-yona… Why?” You said, unable to crawl away, feeling a deep betrayal as hope to escape immediately leaves you. What happened?! How could she let Jimmy get in her head like that?! How was she capable of that much hate?! Ngh… How could she just…
Jimmy transforms back into his changeling form as he plucks you from the ground with his magic, and brings you over to stare at you at eye level. “Just you and me now, buddy. Wow, you look like you’re wishing to just be destroyed. But I meant what I said, I can’t end you. Which is why I’m going to use you instead. Oh yes, once the Staff of Sacanas is in MY hands, Equestria will know true pain and chaos!” Jimmy boasted as once again he began to laugh maniacally.
Jimmy had placed you on top of one of the slot machines, and left you alone as he watched with glee. You weren’t saying anything, you just laid there, unmoving, crying, blaming yourself. How could Yona do this? Well, how could she not? With the way Jimmy was putting things, you’d break your own spine too. Still, did you deserve this? You did good too, even through all your mistakes, you tried to do good, and even own up to whenever you did bad. And yet, this seemed to be it, this was the true end to your adventures.
Jimmy snickered as he leaned against another of the slot machines, staring at you with arms crossed. “You have no idea how much I’m relishing this. It’s so unreal, she just snapped you like a twig. I told you you weren’t as great as you thought you were, but hey, no one listens to poor ole Jimmy.” Jimmy said with a shrug as he stood up straight and sighed, fixing his suit up. “But unfortunately for me, I can’t be feasting on your misery all day, I have things to do. So, Anon, here’s the deal. I want that staff, and don’t tell me it’s gone, I already heard that bullshit. I’ll spare you the details and just say if you give in to your hopelessness and give me permission to use your portal door, and tell me where you put your horn, this casino can be all yours. What do you say?”
But you didn’t respond. You didn’t care. And either way, you weren’t going to help him. Why did he need your permission anyway?... Unless the portal door was indeed considered your property, meaning Discord at least made sure he still had no real way out.
“Anon… Hey!" Jimmy said as he angrily snapped his fingers in your face. "I’m not asking you. Someone in that shitty little town has that staff, I know it! If nobody saw that staff disappear, then it isn’t gone! And nobody is going to leave it alone either. So again, give me permission…” Jimmy said, sounding more serious as he let out a low growl.
You just turned to him, just eyeing him with a melancholic expression. “You really think that?.... Not everything is a trope, Jimmy. Just give it up, the staff is gone. Nobody has it.”
Suddenly, Jimmy flew into a rage and stomped onto the ground like an angry child, pointing at you. “EVERYTHING IS A TROPE! EVERYTHING! How do you think I got this far?! I'm at the edge of victory! I'm closer than any villain has ever been before! Anon, that staff, somebody figured it out, Anon! Either they figured out how to move it and are studying it for research purposes, or you have a villain manipulating everything! Their only issue is trying to use the staff without losing their minds or will to it. That’s why I need you, if I can steal the memories of everyone in town, including the one who took it, then I can take the staff before that idiot tries to stop me. The perfect plan. No hesitation, NO MERCY!”
...He really was insane. That didn’t make any sense. Nobody in town was capable of that. And Chrysalis? No, she wouldn’t have it, she’d have used it by now. Either way, she was good now, so you know even if she had it, she’d not use it for anything malicious.... Hopefully. Wait… What if…
What if someone had taken it for such reasons he described?
Could…
Could Time Turner have taken the staff to study it? Is that possible?
...Did it matter?
“Whatever… I don’t even know where my horn is. So you aren’t exactly getting that without some sort of radar or something. And even then, Discord would have figured out you were out and about long before you find it. Give it up, Jimmy… I don’t fucking care, you aren’t getting shit from me.” You said, adjusting yourself the best you can to get some rest on the slot machine. This could very well be your end, you knew unless Discord could somehow win you back, you were doomed. Hell, could he win you back? You were surprised that wasn’t actually part of his true plan, to use you as a bargaining chip.
Suddenly, you hear a loud cutting noise. You turn your head to see a cleaver cut partways into the machine next to your head. It scared you to near death as you used your forelegs to push yourself away from the blade. When you look at Jimmy, he was holding the handle of the cleaver, his hair had split ends, and his face was full of mad rage. “You aren’t HEARING what I’m saying, Anon. I’m not playing around any more! You are going to give me what I want, or I’m just going to start cutting you, bit by bit, until the pain persuades you to give me what I want! Understand now?”
Holy shit… You could see it, his true self. Behind his façade of coolness and control, he was still as he was when he was a beholder. Mad, deranged, angry, wanting to control everything by any means possible. He never changed. You were trying to back up, pushing backwards with your forelegs.
Jimmy just chuckled as he looked at you, raising the cleaver. “What’s wrong, Anon? I thought you wanted to just give up and die. Ah, but just like any cowardly human, your life means everything in the face of death. You made me, Anon. You made all this! If you had never corrupted the queen, then it wouldn’t have come down to this. Then again, I wouldn’t be king if not for this. So… Thank you for that. That doesn’t deserve any mercy, though.”
“You’re fucking crazy! Get away from me!” You screamed, stopping once you reached the edge of the machine. You looked down, quickly realizing even if you pushed yourself off, you’d not be able to get very far.
“You should have taken my offer! Discord can’t save you, the idiot doesn’t even know you’re here! Your friends can’t get here without him! And Chrysalis will never come to rescue you. And the best part? Your yak friend abandoned you! Just like that! Knowing this could be your end!” Jimmy said as he pointed the cleaver at you. “So, what should I lop off first? Your useless lower torso? Should I feed your dick to you? How about I chop off your forelegs and make you into a chair! A CHAIR! HAHAHAHAHAHA….uh?” When Jimmy entered his mad laughter once again, he looked up to see something coming towards him at a blinding speed, making him freeze in confusion. Before he could defend himself, there was a loud crash, causing the cleaver to fly out of his hand as whatever landed on him started to stand.
It was… “Y-yona? Yona?!”
“Yes!” Yona said as she slowly stood up, then smashed her hooves down as a grunt is heard from under her. “Yona thought she might hurt herself with big fall, good thing Jimmy squishy.” Yona then walked up to you with a smile. “Anon, plan worked! We get out now, okay?”
Wut?
WUT?!
...No…
You furrowed your brow at Yona, suspicious, and even furious at her. “Plan?! What plan?! Why did you even come back?! I thought you hated me! You hate me, Yona! I already know why you’re here, and guilt… Guilt will not make up for the shit you pulled!”
Yona recoiled as her ears folded back, she suddenly looked genuinely upset. “A-Anon, w-why? A-are you angry at Yona?”
“YES!” You screamed out at her. “You let Jimmy manipulate you! You just let Ocellus trash on me, and I bet you all have, I bet you all shat on me! Why?! Why didn’t anypony talk to me about it?!”
Yona, upset and confused, tried her best to answer. “Y-yona not understand. Y-yona said Yona think Ocellus exaggerating. Y-yona admit, Yona get mad at Anon, b-but not hate him. Yona even try talking to Ocellus, but Ocellus not act same since Anon go on long vacation. N-nocreature know why either. Y-yona... Yona should have said something...”
Your long vacation? Right, when you were poisoned. Why would Ocellus be acting weird about that though, no one from that friend group even knew about what really happened. Even then, a plan? This was hard to believe, especially when… “Yeah, you should have... Yona, I highly doubt Jimmy was lying about all that hate you were feeling. So why don’t you try explaining that.”
“Yona… Yona admit, Yona felt feelings she never felt. Yaks get mad when things don’t work out way it should, so Yona felt mad at first. But then, the way Jimmy treat Anon. The way Jimmy try to make Ocellus sound bad. The way Jimmy hurt Anon… Yona focus that into something that even scare Yona. Yona do it to try to trick Jimmy, it was best human trick Yona can think of.”
Best human trick? ‘Human’ trick? Was… Yona trying to trick Jimmy with a trick he’d never expect an ‘MLP character' to do’? Even then… “And what about my spine?! You broke my spine, Yona! You didn’t even flinch when you did it! Jimmy even noticed that you didn’t care! So explain that! Explain that now!”
“A-Anon, we not have t-” But you cut her off, you needed to know.
“Then make time! I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me why! WHY!?” You shouted at her, demanding answers.
“Anon…” Yona seemed to be really antsy. But as you stared her down, she began to break down, she began to tear up as if some sort of unknown reality began to settle in. “Anon, Yona not know Yona hurt Anon that bad.”
Wut?
You chuckled falsely “OH yeah, sure! I mean, crushing someone to bits is all hunky dory! Why, just ask Jimmy right now, I’m sure he’s fine!”
Yona suddenly began to sniffle, she was hurt, she didn't understand why you were acting that way. “Yona serious. Don’t Anon remember?”
Wut? “Remember what?”
Yona took in a deep breath, and began to explain while trying not to break into further tears. “When Anon first challenge Yona. Yona not remember, only remember Gallus changing colors. But Silverstream explain to Yona that Anon break leg badly in tree, that bone stick out. But Anon fix himself, no problem. Yona believe since Anon was fine to talk to Yona after Yona woke up, then Anon be fine now.”
… That did happen, didn’t it?
“...Okay, but didn’t Silverstream explain how utterly painful it was when my leg nearly snapped off?” You asked her, calmed, but still wary
“Silverstream say Anon only be humble about it, that Anon not in serious pain and shrug off like nothing, like hero colt does. So Yona thought Anon figured out Yona's human plan and go along with it” Yona said as she began to become antsy now. “Can Anon and Yona go now?! Please?!”
...GODDAMMIT! GODDAMMIT SILVERSTREAM! GODDAMMIT DISCORD! SO WHAT?! YOUR HEAD WASN’T ENOUGH?! IS YOUR NEW GIMMICK JUST BREAKING LIMBS AND BONES TO TRICK OTHERS NOW?! THAT’S YOUR NEW THING?! HOLY FUCK! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME, RIGHT?! MAYBE FOURTH?! NO, IT IS FOUR! THE BARB COUNTS! GODDDDAAAAMMMMMMMMIIIITTTTT!
“A-Anon?” Yona said lowly, giving you a gentle poke.
“Yona… I… I didn’t… I’m just… I’m just…. I thought you hated me, I really did. I thought all I was was a gigantic screw up.” You said as you looked at her, your eyes tearing up as you whimpered.
“Yona can agree that Anon screw up lots. But… Anon have good heart, Yona could never hate Anon. Remember what Headmare Twilight say. ‘Sometimes friends we have may be different, or even do things we not like, but what makes them friends is times we share, and goodness they do. Differences can be good, even better, than anything bad’. And Yona know Anon have good heart. If Anon not have good heart, he not go save Silverstream. He not try to fix evil bad queen. Anon not be hero colt. Yona believe in Anon… And Yona sorry if Yona make Anon feel bad.” Yona said, her voice cracking, as she began to cry.
“Dammit, Yona! I’m sorry too!” You said as you and her burst into tears at the same time. “I’m a screw up! But, I… I guess I’m also not. Yona, you’re awesome! Yaks are awesome! And-” You stop yourself when you notice Jimmy slowly dragging himself off, and groaning as he began to stand. “And we can continue this later! Let’s go!”
Yona nodded as she bashed the slot machine forward, sending you upwards as she caught you on her back. She wiped her tears, and put on a serious look. She was ready to run. “We move quickly, Anon, we not have much time!”
Yona was rushing as fast as she could, with you in tow, riding on her back. She was almost like a bull, just heading towards her target at breakneck speeds.
“Yona, do you think you can reach the portal door before Jimmy fully comes to?” You asked.
“No, Yona not going up stairs.” Yona let out as she began to change directions and run down the carpet between the video poker and slot machines, heading towards the entrance of the casino instead.
“What?! Why?! Is it not actually up there?! Dammit, Jimmy!” You cursed under your breath. Of course the exit wasn’t really up there. Though, you couldn’t think of a reason why Jimmy would lie to her like that in that scenario, seemed pointless unless he had something waiting up there to kill her. But then, why didn't it kill her?
“No, Jimmy tell truth, but that not why Yona not go up!” Yona exclaimed as she continued her beeline towards the entrance. “Something happen! Yona didn’t try to leave. Yona try to find something to help fight Jimmy. But then, Yona find-WAGH!” Suddenly, Yona trips forward as a blast is heard from behind. You look up to see a slot machine flying in mid air, turned to utter scrap, as it flies towards the front doors and lands right in front of them.
“What in the?! Dammit! Yona, come on! We gotta go!” You said, smacking your forelegs on her back to try to hurry her along.
Yona said nothing as she got back up, and prepared to shove the broken machine with her horns. But she stops when she notices that parts of the machine were melting and seeping into parts of the door, effectively locking it. “Oh no, not good!” Yona said as she tries to shove away the stuck machine. “Strange machine stuck! Yona canAAAHHH!” Yona steps back in fright as Jimmy lands onto of the machine, staring at her with a wicked grin.
“Going somewhere?” Jimmy said with a low hiss. His form, it was grotesque. He was a roided out and pus filled version of his human form, pupils glowing yellow, with some of his original characteristics still apparent, like his tail and spiked back.
“That Jimmy?!” Yona screamed in horror, caught off guard by the horrid beast as Jimmy jumped down from the machine and slowly approached her.
“That’s right, Yakko. And you're stealing my property. I don’t know how you managed to fool me, but you screwed up coming back here.” Jimmy said as he huffed, and then punched his fist through a slot machine beside him, still staring at her. “Even if you give him back to me, I’m still going to hang your head on my wall. Provided I don’t turn it to pulp first.”
You could see Yona stepping back away from him, caught in the throes of fear. Shit, she had to move, she had to get away from him! “Yona! We have to go, if we stand around, he’s going to kill you!”
Yona gulped hard, she stepped back further as Jimmy began to approach menacingly. Yona looked to her left, then her right. Anywhere she ran, Jimmy was going to be sure to follow. So she closed her eyes, and suddenly darted forward, head down, towards Jimmy. She let out a frightened battle cry as she tried to take him down.
“Yona! Wait, no!” You called out to her, knowing Jimmy wasn’t stupid enough to fall for it.
And he wasn’t. Jimmy timed a counter attack, waiting for Yona to approach him. The moment she was in arm’s length, he smashes her head with a cross punch of horrific proportions, sending Yona spinning off to the side and through his bar counter, causing her to hit the shelf behind and come to a stop. You end up flying from the sudden change of momentum, and get caught by Jimmy. “Welcome back, Anon. You’ve been a bad little colt. And do you know what happens to bad little colts?” Jimmy asked with an almost reassuring fatherly tone, filled with malice. However, he didn’t wait for you to answer. He just swung you by your hindlegs like a club, and smashed you into the ground. “They get punished!”
“GYAAAGHHHH!” The pain! The way he swung you around, with your body already broken, was agonizing. The impact to the floor only added to it as you swear you heard some sort of crack in your jaw.
“I’ve come too far to lose to this old song and dance. Time to just get rid of the trash and get back on schedule.” Jimmy said to himself as his eyes began to glow brightly. He was preparing another of his murder beams.
Dammit! This was it! Unless you acted, he was going to kill Yona. Despite your body being broken, and your face leaking blood from your damaged nose, you flung your head back, and swung it forward to bite into his hand. Unfortunately, his form betrays his true body, as you bite into an unbreakable carapace, nearly breaking your teeth.
Jimmy heard you scream in pain once more, and shook you in his hand as he laughed. “Idiot! Did you think you could bite through perfection?! Why don’t you just relax and enjoy the shWQDS” Suddenly, Jimmy is headbutted and is knocked back as he loses his grip on you. You fly up, yelling in fright. But as you come back down, you suddenly find yourself on the comfy back of the yak known as Yona. Though, after the punch to her face, she looked battered, her horn must have been smacked by that same punch, as the left one had twisted and cracked.
“Yona not waste time too. You mess with yak, you get yak fight!” Yona shouted towards Jimmy.
“Yona?! Why?! Forget him, we gotta get out, quick! There’s no way we can fight him!” You were serious. Even if you were scared, the best course of action was just to escape. Jimmy was too powerful to fight without some sort of powerful magic or artifact.
“N-no way out. F-front door blocked, a-and can’t go u-up stairs.” Yona said, her entire body shaking in fear. Despite her will to fight, she knew she couldn’t actually win. Seems she just wanted to go down fighting rather than to let Jimmy have his way. “Y-yona stand ground.”
“Why?! Why can’t we goNGHHH!” You’re suddenly cut off by a monstrous and ear-splitting scream as Jimmy lets out a bloodthirsty roar.
“YOU! You think you’re smart, don’t you?! You think you can tangle with me?! Fine then! I was at least willing to melt you into goo in one quick blast. But now? I think I’ll rip you limb from limb and cook you for later! Nobody, and I mean, NOBODY IS GOING TO GET IN THE WAY OF MY PLANS!” Jimmy shrieked as he jumped towards Yona in one swift and powerful jump, shattering the ground under him.
Yona let out a terrified scream and decided to bolt as Jimmy landed where she was. Surprisingly, despite her earlier stance and protests, she began to run for dear life towards the stairs as Jimmy wildly gave chase, pushing anything in his way away as he began to gain on Yona. Yona quickly turned and started going up the spiral stairs as Jimmy crashed towards the wall near it due to his uncontrollable speeds. When you both reached the second floor, you could see the strange water tank with the weird shark-like creatures, poker tables, roulette wheels, and the like.
You wanted to ask her why she suddenly ran up here if she said she couldn’t. But you didn’t want to distract her, not with Jimmy on both your ta-ils? You look backwards, and he doesn't seem to be chasing you at all. Okay, good! Just keep going, Yona, just keOH SHIT! Suddenly, Yona comes to a halt as Jimmy jumps through the floor in front of you. Tearing a Craps table in half.
He lands and takes the time to look over at the both of you as he waggles a pus-filled finger. “I don’t think so. A little late to try running up all those stairs, huh?”
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
Yona was frozen in fear. And could you blame her?! There was no escape now. Jimmy was blocking the only way up, and going down would be too slow to escape his pursuit.
“...Now then, I have a world to conquer. So let’s cut right to the end.” Jimmy says as he begins to laugh madly, his fist turning into huge claws as he prepares to slice Yona to ribbons. Yona ducked and screamed right as Jimmy prepared his final strike. But right when he was about to bring his claws down on her, there was a sudden violent explosion from the next floor up, breaking his attention. “What?! What’s going on?!”
The hell?! What WAS going on?! “Y-yona? H-hey, Yona, what was tha-WOAH!” Suddenly, a fiery ball of death crashes between the two of you and Jimmy. Jimmy is sent falling through his hole as you and Yona fall back down the stairs. You both fall all the way down in daze, with you falling off of Yona and onto your side. What the hell was that?! Was that Discord?! Or… Something else?
“Yona! Hey! Yona! What happened?! Snap out of it!” You yelled out towards her.
Yona shook her head, hearing your words, and suddenly snapped to attention. She quickly wasted no time in picking you up and rushing towards the front door again in an attempt to move the slot machine. “No time! Fire coming!”
Fire?! Wut?! “Fire?! Is that why we couldn’t go upstairs?! Yona, why is there fire?!”
“Yona don’t know!” Yona said as she started to try to shove the melted machine away. “Yona not leave Anon behind, and Yona knew she not be able to come back if Yona leave. Yona try to find something to help fight Jimmy, Yona open doors. But then Yona open one door and fire everywhere! Yona ran, and tried to save Anon before fire spread.”
There was… Fire in a door? What?! Shit, you could smell the casino starting to burn, as the walls above started to dance in the wave of the heat of the flames, as the fire began to crawl down. Some more debris began to fall as well, causing fires all around the first floor. You could only look at Yona as she did her best to shove the machine away.
Suddenly, there was a roar. It was Jimmy, but.. Where was he?
In an instant, Jimmy jumps right onto the machine once again, the force of his jump smashing through what was left of it as a shockwave sent you and Yona back along the floor. “YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO?! GYAAAGH! MY CASINO! IT’S GOING UP IN FLAMES!”
Dammit, he was fucking pissed! He stomped over to the both of you before either of you could move. He managed to grab you both by the neck as he lifted you both up, screaming in rage. “TELL ME! HOW?!”
Yona choked, she tried her best to answer him. Y-yona… Yona open d-door, anMPHF!” Suddenly, Jimmy let you both go as he stepped back, and began to cackle. As if he had just heard everything he needed to hear.
“Opened the door? Haha. The door, of course! Hehaha! Discord, you idiot! She found you, huh?! HUH?! That’s how she got back here! What, did you sense me smashing up your little prodigy?! HM!? DID YOU FORGET?! YOU CAN’T INTERFERE! ANOTHER TROPE PLAYS INTO MY HANDS THANKS TO THIS STUPID YAK!” Jimmy suddenly began to shake in mad laughter as he pointed up towards the flaming spirals of the spire. “YOU BROKE THE AGREEMENT, DISCORD! YOU ATTACKED MY HOME WHEN YOU ARE TO STAY OUT OF MY AFFAIRS! I WIN! YOUR POWERS ARE MINE! AHAHAHAHA!” He then gripped his hand, and looked towards the both of you. “Well, Anon, change of plans. Turns out I don’t need you anymore. I’m just going to turn you both into chairs and let you burn as I begin my conquest as the new spirit of chaos. Can’t say it’s been fun, because it really hasn’t.” He then pointed his fingers at you, then snapped. Both you and Yona flinched, actually expecting something to happen… But nothing did. “What?! Where’s my power?! DISCORD! THIS ISN’T FUNNY! WE HAD A DEAL!”
Discord, that mad idiot. Did he really make that kind of agreement?
But this flame...
This fire...
It was so familiar...
You started to chuckle, since now it didn’t even matter. No, not because Jimmy had won, because he hasn't. But because you suddenly realized you had an ace in a flaming hole. The fire behind a door? Oh… yes, you knew what this was, and you quickly had a way to turn it into your advantage once you realized how powerless Jimmy suddenly was. “Haha… Jimmy, you poor stupid bastard. Discord didn’t break anything.”
“What?!” Jimmy growled as he looked back towards you with murderous eyes. “What the fuck do you mean?! Do you not see my place burning to the ground?! It had to be Discord, who else could do this?!”
“You can… You did this.” You answered, giving him a cocky grin.
Jimmy’s eye twitched, he was filled with further rage and now terrible confusion. “Are you joking?! I didn’t cause this! Why would I burn down my own casino?! I might just kill you for that!”
You scoffed at his words. “You’re right, you wouldn’t. But Yona burned it down.”
“Anon?” Yona said your name, confused as to what you were getting at.
Jimmy scoffed back at you. “Is this a trick? A joke?! I don’t think you realize your dear old ‘pops’ is breaking the deal here. I made sure EVERYTHING was in my favor, ergo, everything should be MINE!”
And then you laughed as you pointed at him. “Exactly! Jimmy! Exactly! You tricked him into giving up everything he owned aside from my stuff, and his powers. And guess what! You won this fire in the bet too!”
Jimmy was astonished. He won the fire?! He couldn’t comprehend what that meant. “What the hell are you talking about?!”
“Oh, just saying that this fire was started by Discord a long long long time ago. It was a train fire. I can’t remember why he was playing with trains, but I do remember the fire rampaging through the rooms he just lazily trapped it in. Ergo, Jimmy, the fire is now under your ownership. Meaning…” You stopped to let him fill in the blanks.
“The fire is... Mine? No! It can't! Because... I can’t…. Leave. NOOOO! I… I’M GOING TO DIE! NO! NO! NO!” Jimmy suddenly fell to his knees as he transformed into his mutant changeling state, unable to focus, as he smashed his hoof on the ground. “THAT BASTARD! HE KNEW! HE FUCKING KNEW! HE WAS WAITING FOR ME TO OPEN THE DOOR! NO! NOOOO!”
So, it seems he couldn’t leave the casino then. He was trapped here. And since the fire was still growing, covering practically everything, you all were going to die… Unless.
“Oh, Jimmy… Poor little Jimmy. All that power, all that arrogance, so much perfect planning… And yet just like any human, you’re afraid of death.” You started to laugh madly. “Holy shit, how does it feel to still get your ass kicked by mlp charaDFGFG” Suddenly, Jimmy jumped onto you and started to press down on your neck with his hoof.
“Shut it! Shut up! SHUT UP AND DIE!” He screamed out as he began to try to choke you. But just as quickly, Yona gets up and smashes him away with a head butt, and quickly gets you onto her back as she steps away from Jimmy. Though, at this point, there wasn’t much place to run. You were all surrounded by flames.
“A-Anon… Are you okay?!” Yona said, fear and hopelessness lacing her tone.
“Yeah, thanks, Yona. Hey, hey! Don’t sound like that, okay? Trust me, I got the winning hand here.” You looked over at Jimmy, who was standing back up, looking at the both of you with a death glare. He was defeated, he couldn’t focus, and knew it was the end of the line. So... “Hey Jimmy, give up yet?”
Jimmy began to lowly growl. He just stood there, angry, yet defeated. You almost expected him to say something like ‘at least we all go together’. But he was too afraid to actually die, it seemed to terrify him. “Shut up! SHUT UP! There has to be a way! There’s always a way!”
...There it is! Your opening. “There is… I have no way of saving us, neither does Yona, and you can’t save yourself. I know death terrifies you. I’d even guess from watching all that media, that you believe Hell is waiting for you after you die. So… Here’s the deal. Give the house back to Discord.”
“What?! NeveNGH!” Jimmy is suddenly cut off as his tail is burning from an ember of flame. As he’s putting it out, you continue your offer.
“Yeah, never, right. Look, Jimmy, unless you give it back to Discord, we are all dead. Don’t tell me to call him on the codec. I refuse to even try until you agree to give the house back.” You offer him. “That’s my final offer, so you better decide quick.”
“No… No!” He cried out as he put out the fire on his tail, then hugged it pathetically. “I was so close! I did everything right! I had complete control! How, how did I not see this coming?!”
Yona’s fear had slowly begun to leave her as she heard your words. She knew what you were doing, and believed in your ability to do it. She looked towards Jimmy, realizing why he had lost, and began to speak out through her own experience. “Yona not understand trope thing, but Yona know there are things nocreature see in future. Jimmy wanted to be evil, so Jimmy do evil things, not knowing that good always win in end. Jimmy's biggest mistake is not having friends to believe in, to trust. Jimmy truly thought Yona hate Anon, but good friends can’t hate friends. That what Jimmy can’t see, that friendship is only way to good life, not evil.”
“Y-You..Ngh, Ano- NGH...GNGGGHHHH! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!” Jimmy just fell forward, clutching himself, screaming in his own failures and hopelessness.
“It’s over, Jimmy. You lost, period. If you don’t make a decision now, we’re all dead. Whatever punishment Discord is going to have for you, you at least know he won’t kill you.” Boy, did you want to kill him though, you could feel your own murderous anger bubble up. But you had to let it go. You couldn’t kill him now, and once Discord shows up, you were sure he was going to deal out his own punishment for him before you could do anything anyway.
“Ngh….mnnngh! DAMMIT! FINE! IT’S A DEAL! CALL HIM! CALL THAT IDIOT! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” Jimmy whined as he cowered in place. He knew he lost, and he could only shake in fear of what punishment Discord held for him.
That was it then… You raised your hoof to your ear, and made the call.
“So, what are you going to do with him?” You asked.
The scene was a wild one. Discord clones in firefighter outfits were pouring out of portals with extinguishers, hoses, and even swords and shields to fight the fires within the casino. Turns out the fire itself was a grease fire, so using K class extinguishers was actually the way to go… How retarded. Discord himself stood next to you in a fire chief’s suit, roasting a marshmallow over a fire as the three of you observed Jimmy sitting in a cage, broken and defeated, and no longer speaking. You still laid on top of Yona, your spine still out of commission.
“That’s the question, isn’t it? What to do, what to do…” Discord said as he brought the flaming marshmallow to his mouth and stuffed it in, stick and all, as he pondered and chewed. “I’m going to guess you’re not going to be okay with keeping him here, correct?”
Wut?! “What kind of question is that?! Of course I don’t want him here! He’s fucking insane!”
Yona agreed, unsurprisingly. Jimmy’s ruthlessness and insanity had left an impression on her, to the point even she thought he was irredeemable. “Yona, agree! If ‘fucking’ word means a lot. Then Jimmy fucking evil to keep here, he try to hurt Yona and Anon very badly, Yona never see anycreature so crazy and evil before.”
“Language, please.” Discord said as he reached over and boredly fixed Yona’s damaged horn by simply tugging on it with his talons. “That word is a naughty word and I’d rather it not leave this place, if only because there’s a possibility of me being blamed for it instead of Anon.”
“Dammit, Discord! Who cares right now?! Are you going to send him away or not?! He’s too strong to be sent to Tartarus, so he needs a one way trip to that tentacle dimension you were going to send me into.” Yeah, fuck that. You were not going to let this one slip by. You screwed up with the Storm King, you will not fuck up with Jimmy. He needs to go.
“Hmph, with all these callbacks cooking in the oven, I can swear I can almost smell a dimension where a well behaved Anon was adopted by the princesses.” Discord said to himself, shuddering at the thought, detesting it. “How disgusting. But, ah yes, right… Fine. But just to let you know, I still feel I can win a good ga-” But you cut Discord off right there, as both you and Yona shout out ‘Just do it already!’ right at him. “Yeesh! You don’t even want to relish the moment with a goodbye, or mocking him… Something?”
“No.” You said, giving Discord a hard stare. “Just do it.”
“Wait, what?!” Jimmy said as he stood up in his cage, overhearing the conversation and suddenly filling with fear, “You can’t just send me away like I’m some scrap of rotten meat! We have a long history together! I’m practically your main nemesis! Anon, are you really willing to throw me out just like that?! Won’t you miss me?! I’m Jimmy, dammit! I keep your life interesting, you can’t just get rid of me just like that!”
You narrowed your eyes towards him, and pointed at him as you spoke with hatred in your tone. “Fuck off, Jimmy. This isn’t a fantasy, a television show, or a movie. I’m done playing around and being manipulated by monsters like you! You’re gone, period. You’ve outstayed your welcome. Do it, Discord, come on!”
“No! NO! This can’t be it for me! Discord! You can’t do this! DISCORD! You can’t just do it! YOU CAN’T! If you get rid of me, then you’ll have to live with the fact that no matter what, you’ll never be able to get one over on me! Can you live with yourself?! Huh?! Can you handle that?!” Jimmy screamed out crazily, fearing for his very life.
“You know, a part of me can’t…” Discord looks at his paw good and hard… Then rips it off and tosses it through the bars of the cage. “There we go, you can have that part since I won’t be needing it any more. Goodbye, Jimmy, and make sure to cover your rear.” Discord said as he raised his talons for a snap.
“No! NO! DON’T DO IT!” Jimmy shrieked as he began to ram at the cage, trying to break free. “I DON’T WANT TO GO! I D-” But before he could say anything else, Discord snapped his talons, sending Jimmy and his casino into the void as the walls stripped and pulled back to the way things were, as the three of you found yourselves in the living room. The Discord clones also began to disappear one by one, the fire going along with them.
“Well, that’s that. Not the most climactic conclusion, but it’ll do.” Discord said with a shrug as he opened a guitar case that appeared out of nowhere, that had a new arm for him in it. He then attached it to his stump, and gave it a kiss.
“What happened? Yona confused, everything house now, what happened to casino?” Yona asked as she looked around in wonderment.
“It’s gone, thank Christ. I never want to go through anything like this again. This was too crazy, even for me.” You said as you laid on Yona’s comfy back, even beginning to cuddle onto it for comfort.
“Yona also glad. Anon adventures too crazy for Yona, Anon adventures too crazy for anycreature. Yona have new perspective, and never want to go on Anon adventure again. Yona now knows why Anon the way Anon is and… Oh! Anon, the project! The project!” Yona began to giggle to herself. “This not real! This all fake for project! Like town with Yaks! Too crazy, it can't be real.”
“Was it? Wait, then did we not even save the house?!” Oh, goddammit! Yona was right! None of this was real! Your horn was still gone after all, it was just another test!
“Mmmmnnn, ‘fraid that ain't the case. This is indeed, real. Then again, isn’t that a good thing? We have the house back, Jimmy is gone, and all is right with the world.” Discord said as he looked forward, arms to his sides, as he let out a satisfied sigh.
“Uhhh, what about my horn? If this is real, what happened to it?” You asked, wondering what could have happened to it.
“Oh, right, your horn. Well, it was left in some sort of box with a red button on it marked ‘emergency’ near the fountain in Ponyville. I thought it looked appetizing so I took it and plopped it in the ole chaos hole. If you want it back, I can just…” Discord suddenly stopped as his eyes rolled back to the back of his head. His body then began to become pimply and grotesque, his tongue sticking out and rolling to the ground as it turned green and gooey. He lurched forward, and began to heave harder and harder, making Yona step backward in fright.
“GAH! What Mister Discord doing?!” Yona said, trying to stay away as green goo started to burst out from his sides.
“Holy crap! Discord, stop already! Fine, can you just do this in private and send it to me later?! Geez, I don’t even know if you’re screwing around!” He had to be! And given how fucking gross it was, you’d rather just get the damned thing back when he felt like it so you didn't have to see whatever this was... And so he could clean the damn thing first.
Discord instantly went back to his original self as the goo seeped back into him in an instant. “Alright. I was about to get it out, but I guess you don’t need it just yet. Well, I need to get to fixing this place up, it simply is too trashy and unlivable for anypony at the moment.”
…It looked exactly the same. “Fine, alright. But I need that horn soon, I got some stuff I gotta take care of.” And boy, did you. You needed one charge in case whatever Cozy needed your help with required a quick spell, and then there was Ocellus. Oh yeah, you were going to nip that in the bud. Though, er, that’d be all three charges for the day. And you kinda need one to fix your spine.
“Oh, oh! Wait! Mister Discord, Yona notice you fix arm. C-can you fix Anon, please, since he not have magic horn? Y-yona hurt Anon, Y-yona not mean to be bad about it, Yona thought Anon easily fix Anon’s body.” Yona asked, looking rather apologetic about it, knowing what she did was wrong now, and that she shouldn’t have gone by Silverstream’s words.
Discord gave her a dark grin as he stretched out and wiggled his talons and paw digits. “Oh, I can do that, it will be my absolute pleasure.”
…NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! “Wait! I don’t want to be fixed! I can do it my-GAH!” Discord immediately plucked you from Yona’s back and placed you on a counter that suddenly appeared in front of him as he donned a chef’s outfit. “OH GOD! OH GOD NRWEGDFGFDG” Suddenly, he raised, then smashed you into a thin circle with a giant mallet, in one quick smash.
“GAH! WHAT MISTER DISCORD DOING?! YONA SAY FIX! NOT SMASH!” Yona said in utter befuddlement and surprise.
“That's-a what I’m-a doin’” Discord said with an Italian accent as he swiftly picked you up and began to toss you in mid-air as you continued to scream. “You-a just sit and-a watch, Discord do-a good here.” He said with a light hearted chuckle. He continued to toss you up as you screamed. Finally, he caught you and placed you back onto the counter as he began to knead you, slowly forming you back into your old self as you went from screaming to… Cooing?
“Anon! Anon, is Anon okay?!” Yona asked, utterly fucking frightened for your well-being.
“G-guhhh…. Y-yeah, ohhh, right there… Oh, this… This is actually really good.” Holy shit, Discord was suddenly giving you the five star treatment as you began to fully take shape.
“Ho ho, Discord do-a good, yeah?” Discord said as he continued to knead along your body.
“Y-yeah… I… I never want you to…. Woah…. Er, never stop…” You said in a dreamy like fashion, sitting there with half glazed eyes, just moaning from how relaxing it was… Up until you suddenly found yourself on a pizza oven spatula. “Wha-huh?”
“You-a cook now 'til ready. Discord gonna serve-a you up really nice” Discord said as an oven suddenly appeared in front of you. Before you could even scream, he slammed you in and kept you there for a moment before pulling you out. Yona tried to bite and pull at him, but all she did was end up charging right through him, unable to stop him at all. Discord held the spatula so he could get a good look at you. You stared at him with an angry stare, your body working but toasty, and you spat out a ring of black smoke at him. Obviously the fire wasn’t fatal, and it didn’t even hurt too bad… But it was still a dick move. “He-a done.”
You said nothing as you hopped down back onto the floor, and shook your body about to get rid of the soot and cooked parts of your body that began to chip and fall off, leaving you in a pristine and clean coat. “...Okay, we’re done. Yona, are you alright? You okay?” You asked as she just laid there, her mind absolutely drained from the experience.
“Yona want to go back to room… This too much, even for Yona.” She said as she laid there.
Hmmm, actually, thinking about it, this may not be a bad thing. She was too mentally preoccupied with the situation to think about the situation with Ocellus, which meant she’d most likely not immediately go to her to tell her what transpired. Which meant you could deal with her yourself without her knowing what was up. “Ah, well, er, we should meet up later then, or uh, tomorrow morning to iron out our… Uh, presentation. Do you want my Dad to send you back to the school?”
“Yes, please… Wait, Yona meant-” But before she could finish, Discord snapped his talons, sending her back.
“Pft, she actually thought I was going to waste my time wasting a gag on her. How was I going to top this? I’ll tell you, I wasn’t… Not because I can’t, but because I didn’t feel like it.” Discord said as he licked the tips of his talons. “Mmmm, that’s a-good.”
“Yeah… Look, Discord. Uh, look, this whole Jimmy thing. I… Fuck man, we really can’t let something like this happen again. You know what I mean, I’m being serious here. He nearly killed the both of us.” You said to him as you sat on your butt and looked back to rub a hoof along your spine. “...Like, at this point, I’m just ready to just blast any villain that shows up.”
“Hmmm, despite the fact they may be redeemable? Mmmm…” Discord, you thought, was suddenly going to mock you or call you out on some sort of hypocrisy. But he just went over to his big green recliner and sat down on it, letting himself lean back and rest. “Well, I suppose in the face of awesome powers like ours, if they refuse to see the error of their ways, then we can deal with it ourselves if Twilight hasn’t made the scene to blast them with rainbows.” Discord then looked to you, and he actually looked worried. “Things went that badly?”
You sighed, and walked over and hopped up onto the couch, letting yourself rest. “You have no idea. He had everything planned out, Discord, he was using every trope in the book. The only reason we survived was because you never dealt with your train fire. Thanks for that, I guess.”
“Hmmm…” Discord rested his head on his paw, as he actually began to go through a bit of self reflection. “But I let myself get hot and bothered enough to create this situation in the first place. Honestly, I came as soon as I did because somewhere in my wonderfully chaotic head, I understood the situation was serious. Although, as it turned out, you managed to gain control of the situation by turning the situation against him. You figured out he owned my little fire and made him renounce the casino. Good work, really, I’m impressed.” Discord said as he gave you a slow clap. “Now, given nothing else went your way, I can’t reward you with anything monetary. But I can say I’m honestly glad you’re alright, and that I’m indeed proud of you, Anon. Of course, if you’re going to mention this to Fluttershy at all, I expect you to keep me out of it. Actually, don’t mention it at all, she’d probably do something horrendous if she knew how much danger you were in… And you know, ended up….” Discord ripped out his own spine from his back, and snapped it in half in front of you to show you a visual representation of what happened. “This”
“Discord… Look, usually I’d get angry, or something. But… you’re owning up to it to me and I… I’m not really any better… We both screwed up. Should have gotten rid of both him and the Storm King the moment we had the chance.” You said, realizing your own mistakes.
“I have to agree, the trouble they caused has backfired on the both of us. Chaos isn’t exactly fun when you’re the one suffering through it all.” Discord raised his paw and suddenly spat out your horn, he then had it hover over to you, where it still dripped with his drool. “Here, just take it, no gag this time around. I’m afraid I’m somehow not in the mood.”
“Uhhhh… Thanks…” You just took it, and could feel his saliva just oozing on it. You didn’t have your saddlebags on you, so you had no place to put it, so you sighed and put it around your neck, you’d get it washed with a double teleport. To like, teleport the saliva somewhere as you… Dammit, no… You needed the charge. And besides, you had your portal door back, you could just use that and wash the horn in the town fountain. “Hey, Discord. I gotta go, but can I ask you a serious question before I leave?”
“Only if you don’t expect a serious answer.” Discord said as he gave you a sly smile.
“Heh, I mean… Look, we’re always going to be friends, right? I know I’ve been mad at you a lot lately, and uhhh… You've been kinda a... Yeah. I… I just wanna know if we’re cool.” You actually were kind of worried to hear his answer. Would he answer seriously? Would he ignore it? Send you away so he didn’t have to answer?
Discord let out a quick chuckle and smirked at you. “Somehow, Anon, I don’t think I actually know the proper procedure of not being friends with those I truly care about. If we end up breaking up the band, that’d be entirely on you… Or Fluttershy…” Discord suddenly bit his talons hard on that, sniffing deep at the thought of it. “...And I really hope that none of that happens.”
…Geez…
“Discord, bro, no matter what, I don’t think it’s ever gonna happen. Alright? We’re chaos buddies, forever and ever and ever!” You told him with a big wide grin.
Discord just looked at you with a disgusted look. “‘Forever and ever and ever’? Ugh, I think I figured out how to stop being friends with you, because that was awful and I can't unhear it.”
You just gave him a sudden sour look and began to focus on going up the gravity stairs into your room. “...Right… Why do I even bother? Goodbye, Discord”
Discord just grinned and waved at you "Goodbye, Anon. Have fun!"
You stood in front of Cozy’s dorm door, ready to help her with whatever big thing she needed sending. She said she needed to send it to a friend, so whoever this friend was, you were happy she just had more than you and your school group of friends. Though, you hoped this wasn't another villain. No, you were sure it wasn't this time, she knew better.
You knock on the door, and decide to stand valiant and proud. You always enjoyed the praise for how daring you looked, and considering how pristine Discord’s ‘pizza baking’ had you right now, it made you wish you had run into a few mares to see if they’d notice and call you cute.
“Hello?” Said Cozy from behind the door. “Anon? Is that you?”
“Yep, I'm done with my project. So I thought I’d swing by and help you out.” You said.
Cozy opened the door, and just beamed you the biggest smile as she rushed to give you a hug. “Yay! Thank you so much! Golly, I hope it isn’t too much trouble using a magic charge on me.” Cozy said as she suddenly seemed so apologetic. “You really are a great friendship professor. I-I mean, if you did come to do that, that means I should always help my friends in such a big way too, w-wight?”
D’awwww. She was already being adorable and friendship oriented. “I mean, you should always do your best, Cozy. And never let anypony take advantage of your big heart.” You would tell her not to take advantage of anyone either, but it was already clear she wasn’t like that.
“Anon…” She began to tear up, sniffling, as she wiped her eyes with her hooves. “I-I pwomise. And I pwomise t-to never let that happen... Ever again... Oh, and of course I’d never ever take advantage of anypony either. No no no, I never ever would!” She said, frightfully so, as if she had already done it. She seemed so overly timid all of a sudden.
Looks like your pristine looks didn’t matter here, all she cared about was the friendship aspect of things. W-which is fine, you could do without the praise of your adorable looks, it wasn't important. “C’mon, Cozy. I know you would never do that. Hey, relax, okay? I know! Why don’t you show me… Wait, is that it? What is that?” The hell? It looked like a painted bench in the shape of a long and adorable cat, with the head on one end, and a tail on the other. It was painted like a calico with a white belly as part of the bottom of the bench. But… The hell? Was it this? Why was it a bench?
“That’s what I need to send, silly.” Cozy said with a giggle, immediately coming out of her depressive funk as she found your reaction humorous. “It’s a bench I made for my friend. I’ve been writing to him for a long time now, and he told me that he always had trouble sitting outside because he didn’t have any place to sit. So I made him a bench! I-I didn’t have a lot of bits though, so I used the porcelain left out in the forest to make it. I-it doesn’t seem to be dangerous, I-I think! I, um, I even made porcelain booties, see?” Cozy rushed over to her bed, and from under it, she pulled out four porcelain boots. “I made them for practice before making the bench. I-I don’t know what I’d use them for yet, but I did try wearing them a lot in my room, and nothing happened. Oh, Anon… I didn’t do bad, did I?” She gave you a big long look as her eyes began to water again, her ears folding down.
Ah, goddammit. The porcelain? From the huge kitchen sink?! How the fuck?! No doubt that thing was infused with chaos… But, so were the boots, and if she said she wore them a lot, then it should be fine, right? Hell, whatever she did to remold it all didn't seem to have caused any crazy shit either. She looked fine, too, no injuries or mutations. But… Well, it should be okay, Fluttershy has had Discord’s more chaotic tea on the rare occasion she has tea-time at the house. But it just seems so random. You sighed, and gave her a gentle pat. The material may have been made through chaos, but it shouldn’t do anything since the original construct never came to life in the first place. But a bench? Who was this friend? Dammit, you wanted to be suspicious, because it just seemed like something was off. But you won't, you'll just ask the questions about the friend and that's it. The porcelain should be fine, hopefully. “Cozy, i-it’s fine, really! C’mon, you can’t be getting all emotional all the time, okay? I actually think it’s pretty intuitive to use the porcelain I made. Saved you a lot of bits, and it actually looks really cute. Look, the only thing I have to say is you gotta be careful with stuff like this, the forest is dangerous, y’know? You could have gotten hurt.”
“I-I know… A-and I try not to get all emotional. But golly, after that big mess with my not-friend, Mr. Storm King… I just…” And there she went, putting herself down again.
“Look, it’s fine. That was the past, and I think we all learned from our mistakes when it comes to that guy. Don’t you worry, alright? You’re about to give somepony a really nice gift, so don’t be blue, alright? C’mon…” You give her a poke on her side, causing her to give a yipping giggle. “Let’s see a smile.”
“Hehehe! That tickled! O-okay… Yeah, I-I can’t be sad! I’m about to give a big gift to a good friend! At least, I think he’s a good friend, his letters are always nice to read. He knows a lot of stuff about Equestria, he always sends me stories about everything he’s seen.” Cozy said as she perked up again, and went to grab something from her dresser.
“He does, huh? Say, Cozy, who is this friend, exactly? Sounds like you only know each other through letters.” You asked, curious as to who this mysterious being is. The fact that it seems like they never properly met does make things a little more suspicious than you thought.
“We do! He lives very far away and is so very lonely. So I decided to send him letters to cheer him up! It is what friends do, after all. Even for friends who haven’t met yet. He can’t really leave his home these days, and he’s so old… I feel bad for him, I always do, even when he tells me entertaining stories through his letters. I had to do this for him, Anon, I weally weally had to! His stories are so spectacular and put a smile on my face that I have to make it up to him in some way!” Cozy said as she finally grabbed what she was looking for in her mouth and held it towards you. It was a paper.
You take it in your hoof and look it over. There wasn’t even much on it, just some runes that looked like letters. “Yeah? How did you even find out about the guy? And what is this?” Did these spell something?
“Well, to be honest, I wanted to practice being a friend to somepony who really really needs it. I looked through some papers for places that might have somepony who are lonely and could use a friend. And then I found some place and ended up with my mail friend! The place he lives in is full of old creatures who are lonely, and I think he was the loneliest of all. He did so much when he was younger, and now nopony wants to think about him. I felt really really bad.” Cozy said with a pout. “And that paper? That’s the address to send big stuff to where he lives. But my friend is so silly, he made it some kind of funny puzzle. I don’t think he realized that if I can’t figure it out, I can’t send it. Um, it isn’t going to be a problem, is it?”
So it’s some old fart archeologist? Scientist? Researcher? An old geezer stuck in some old folks home, it seems. “Nah. What’s the guy’s name though? Maybe I heard of him.”
“His name is Winter Krumb. With a K. And I can pwomise that he’s a great friend!” Cozy said.
“Huh… that’s…” You stopped yourself, you didn’t want to be rude. Pony names usually make more sense than that, and have a theme. “...A name. And the old guy needs a bench, huh? Well, if he’s that great, I’ll make sure it gets to him. Let’s see…"
These runes are spaced out as three words, it seems. At least, that is what it looks like. They seem to spell something out. ‘Lirr Ot Ekd’
‘Lirr ot Ekd’
The fuck did that even mean?
“Anon… Erm, did you figure it out?” Cozy asked, again pouting as her ears folded. “Are you going to be able to send it?”
“Er…” It’s possible the runes weren’t even actual letters, they just look like them despite the weird curves and inscriptions. However, you had chaos magic, you could just cheat and send it directly to wherever these runes expected you to send the bench to. “Not really. But with chaos magic, I can send this baby to whatever this is supposed to be. It’s cheating, but when it comes to friendship, then it can be overlooked.”
“Wow, you can really send it to him, really?” Cozy said with big happy eyes as her wings flittered.
“Yeah, watch this.” You plopped the horn on your head and held the address note up using your magic. You then shot a beam through the runes that passed through them and hit the bench, immediately sending it away. “And bam, it’s done!”
“Wooooooooooow! Golly, you really did it! It’s gone! But, wait… Did it really get sent to him, Anon? Weeeeaaalllyyy?” Cozy asked, her excitement ever growing.
You nodded with complete confidence in your spell. “Yup, andGYAH!” Suddenly, Cozy jumped right into you, knocking you down as she snuggled on top with maximum adorableness.
“Thank you! Thank you!’ She exclaimed, snuggling into you. “You’re the bestest best, Professor Anon!”
You just laid there, sighed, and enjoyed the affection. Was this cheating? Nah, Diamond will be fine, Cozy had no interest in you, and like Silverstream, just saw you as an amazing guy. You did good this time, Anon, you really did. Yona was right, even for all your screw ups, you were a good pony that tried to do good when he could.
But there was still Ocellus to deal with. You wouldn’t even have to find her, you were going to use your magic to have her come to you. You didn’t care what she was doing, she had to answer for talking shit about you. Actually… “I know I am… Hey, Cozy, I don’t want to be that pony, but I kind of have something important that I really need to get to right now.”
“Oh?” Cozy hopped off of you and looked at you with a head tilt, curious as to what you needed to do. “Really? Are you sure? I was going to bake you some 'super thank you' cookies for being the bestest best! Do you really have to go? What happened?”
“Hero colt stuff. You know how it is, there’s always somepony who needs some sort of help.” You lied, not wanting her to worry… Dammit, you just lied without even thinking about it… Whatever, it’s fine. This was important.
“Just like you helped me and Winter! Right!” Cozy gave you a salute. “I should have known, you don’t usually look so clean. I really should have realized you made yourself look nice for something important.”
Guh! What?! She doesn't think you're clean?! Ngh… You can’t even question her on it, she’d just get sad again. “R-right… Eheh, yeah. But, er, hey! You let me know if Winter gets that bench, okay?”
“Yes, sir!” Cozy said with another adorable salute. “Good luck, Anon. And if you need my help, never hesitate to ask your student!”
You smirked at that, and gave her a gentle little pet before you placed the horn on your head once again. “I will. Take care, Cozy, and don’t worry so much about every little thing, okay?”
“Erm, yes sir!” Cozy said, holding her salute while trying to look oh so adorably serious, even her wings stiffened in an attempt to look sturdy.
And with that, you teleported off… Knowing you already had Ocellus in tow to your destination.
You appear from within the Everfree Forest, with your saddlebag hoisted around you and your Starlight Hook suddenly equipped to your right leg. The plan was simple: Separate Ocellus from civilization and have a one on one with her about whatever the hell she’s been telling everyone. Behind you, behind the bushes, should be Chrysalis’s home, because fuck it, you knew that Ocellus knew something about what happened with your evil clone and Chrysalis, and you wanted her to see that Chrysalis was fucking reformed already.
Ahead of you was Ocellus herself, still unaware of what was going on as she had her eyes closed, sitting on her butt, as she waved her forelegs about and tried to let out a ferocious roar, only to let out pathetic little groans. “S-Smolder… It just isn’t working. I-I don’t think I can be as brave as you and the other dragons. I-I can try again, but I’m just… Not… Smolder? W-where am I?” When her eyes opened, she could see she was in the forest, alone, for no reason she could possibly think of that landed her where she was now.
“You’re in the Everfree Forest, Ocellus.” You said. Though, you must have sounded pretty creepy and ominous as Ocellus turned back to see you, only to fall backwards in fright.
“A-Anon?! H-how?! Wait… Why?” She suddenly became confused within her fear, and gulped, as she was unable to comprehend the reasoning as to why you’d use a spell to bring her here. “A-Anon? What’s going on?”
“You tell me, Ocellus. I brought you here because we need to talk, alone.” You told her, your leg ready to act in case she suddenly tried to run or fly off.
“T-talk? Alone? Here?” She looked around, even more confused, and even more scared. “Y-you foalnapped me for t-that? W-why didn’t you just come to me? I-I was with Smolder, I-I wouldn’t have minded coming to talk to you.” She said as she slowly began to scootch back. She was telling the truth. She obviously wasn’t too comfortable with whatever Smolder was trying to have her do. Or given what it seemed to be, just didn’t feel confident enough to make any more attempts.
As for you, you recoiled at the words ‘Foalnapped’. Fuck, that isn’t a good word. If she told anyone you foalnapped her, shit would go down pretty hard. “E-er! No! I didn’t foalnap you! Look, we just need to talk, and I didn’t need anypony coming in and interrupting us, so I took us here! That’s it, that’s what it is.”
“...So… You foalnapped me. I-I don’t understand. Why here? Why now? W-what did I do? Or… Anon… Did you do something you s-shouldn’t have? W-what did you do now?” She asked, tensing up as she stops moving, scared as to what your next words could be. Even worried you were going to hurt her.
“What did I do?! Cut the crap! I know what you did! You hide behind that super innocent act, but you’ve been talking shit behind my back and I want to know why! Yona told me pretty much what you’ve been saying, so you better have a damned good explanation.” Fuck it, you weren’t going to tolerate her blaming you for anything. This time, you know you didn’t do anything wrong, and it pissed you off that she could just sit there and accuse you of anything when she was the one starting shit.
Ocellus gasped, bringing her hooves to her mouth in shock. She wasn’t expecting this at all. “S-she told you?”
You nodded, and pointed at her with your left leg. “That’s right! So guess what, you’re the one in the wrong this time. So what’s up? Hm? I thought we were friends, Ocellus. But you’re making me look like a villain here. I’m not evil, and I’m not a bad guy. I know you know something about what happened when I disappeared. So, let’s hear it then. Why are you telling everypony bad stuff about me? How much do you know about what happened?”
Ocellus said nothing, her wings opened, then closed, then opened. She was stiff as a board. Was she terrified she was caught? Or did she think you were going to hurt her?
“Dammit, Ocellus. I’m not gonna hurt you. I didn’t mean to be so scary. But dammit, I’m not going to let you talk about me like that, even if some of the stuff you say about me is, uh, true. Because there are also good things about me. I know you know that, Yona told me she’s tried to tell you that too. So what gives?” You sigh, and relax yourself, even sitting down. “Just tell me what’s up, okay?”
Ocellus took deep short breaths, and tried to relax herself. She still seemed rather panicked. But then she began to slowly relax, perhaps only because she was afraid making a wrong move would make things worse. But she also still seemed ready to bolt the moment things went awry. “...Anon, it’s because… You should know already. It’s because you really can’t be trusted. Y-you just won’t give up on her. Even after she’s been sealed away, even after what she did.”
Wut? “Uhhh, what does that mean?”
“D-don’t act like you don’t know.” Ocellus said as she began to stand. Whatever she was feeling, and even feeling from you, it seemed to be turning her from scared to a timid form of frustrated love bug. “Y-you were there. I-I’m sorry that you got hurt, but it was all her fault! I-I know about everything, I-I saw it! You being hurt, that evil version of you, Spike's arm, and the queen being locked up! I snuck around after seeing it, I heard things… T-the royal trial, it already happened, I know it did. Headmare Twilight is okay and nocreature has heard from ‘her’ since it happened. It’s because she’s gone. B-but you won’t accept that!” She stomped on the ground, then stomped again, and again, and again. “She’s gone, Anon! Y-you’re deluding yourself at this point! Y-you lie so much, you’re worse than how we used to be! So much so, t-that you’re even fooling yourself!”
Wait a second…
So she knew that much? She was there?! No doubt she followed you and Chrysalis when you went into the castle, remaining unnoticed in some sort of form that didn't catch your eye. But her words, she was acting as if she stopped keeping up with what was happening after that. Or..
No… Was it one of those moments?
Were you crazy? Was everything that happened a delusion?
Were… Were you still asleep even?
“Ocellus…” You hold up your hoof to interrupt. If she could sense your fear, she may start to believe you were suddenly edging to a total mental meltdown. “Are you telling me Chrysalis is in Tartarus?”
Ocellus nodded. “Yes... You really believed she wasn’t? Why? Anon… You have to stop all this… It’s over…”
You began to shake, and you went silent. You turned around, scared as to what you were about to witness. You walked over to the bushes behind you, and took a peek towards where Chrysalis’s forest manor should be.
And…
Wait, it wasn’t in disrepair. And the damage from Evil Anon has been repaired, and even the grass was trimmed.
Goddammit… Ocellus was wrong, she had no idea what happened at the hospital. You look forward towards the manor as you call out to her. “Ocellus… Can you come here, please?”
“Anon?” Ocellus tenses, but then suddenly her tone becomes softer, and motherly. “I-I know… and… I’m sorry… I’m sorry about talking about you. But I was scared… But… Knowing that you didn’t know, I… I can't imagine the hurt you’re feeling right now… I… I somehow can’t even feel it… I don’t know if it’s a human emotion Changelings can’t sense or taste, b-but a-as your friend, I’m willing to…. What is that?” Ocellus said as she cautiously approached you, and saw the manor beyond the bushes.
“That’s Chrysalis’s home. That’s where she lives, she’s in there.” You said, pointing towards the door. “Look around, she’s obviously.. Ocellus?!” When you looked back, she suddenly huddled in pure terror. Hiding her head under her hooves.
“NO! No! No! No! No! How?! No! No! She was gone! I thought she was gone! MNGH! She’s going to hurt me, Anon! She’s going to hurt all of us! Anon!?” She looked at you with maddened eyes, full of fear as they burst into hysterical tears. “Why is she there?! What did you do?!”
“What?! What do you mean 'what did I do'?! Do you not know what happened after I woke up from the hospital?! I thought you were spying on everything that was going on!” Goddammit, Ocellus. Now she was the one freaking out, and it was in a way that you had to keep contained or shit would really hit the fan if she suddenly darted off.
“I wasn’t! I heard enough and I didn’t want to be near her! I didn’t want her to know I was in Ponyville! She’s too evil, Anon! I thought the princesses knew that! What did you do?! Did you use your magic on them?! Y-you really went that far, didn’t you?!” She said, grabbing at her head and turning into a small rock to hide herself.
Okay… Now it was getting annoying. You weren't going to get in trouble for this nor would you let Ocellus ruin everything now that Chrysalis was no longer evil. “Dammit, Ocellus! Stop, just stop! I didn’t do any of that.” No, you actually didn't. For once, you were in the absolute right!
“Then why is she here?! Headmare Twilight doesn’t seem worried about it at all, even after what happened to her and Spike! The queen nearly skewered her! How could she be okay with this?! What happened at the trial!?” Ocellus squealed out, her rocky form shaking.
You rolled your eyes “There was no trial, Ocellus. Look, Twilight knows she’s here and is okay with it. The princesses know, even Aunt Fluttershy knows. In fact, Aunt Fluttershy is one of the reasons she’s here.”
“P-Professor Fluttershy? How?! She’d never do that!” Ocellus said shakily, as she squirmed in position.
“Look, let me explain…” And through constant interruptions, you barely manage to tell the story of why Chrysalis was free. Everything from Chrysalis’s escape, to her agreeing to help Celestia, to the certification to Twilight’s school under Neighsay. “...So yeah, basically, she lives here as a hermit, and isn’t evil anymore. She still doesn’t like a lot of us, but she’s also friends with me and Diamond and can tolerate Twilight. I think she’s okay with Princess Luna, and I know she probably has a ‘family’ thing for Fluttershy. She even calls Scrappy by his name now sometimes. So, y’know, can you stop being scared now? And maybe not tell everypony I foalnapped you?”
Ocellus didn’t respond, but she did stop shaking.
“Ocellus? You alright?” You asked, hoping she didn’t pass out. Does a changeling retain form if they passed out? No, that doesn’t sound right.
And then finally, she spoke. “I… I can feel that you’re not lying. At least, either that or you’re being really tricky. B-but, i-it makes sense… H-headmare Twilight would have been worried about her if she was s-still dangerous. A-and if everypony knows the queen is here…” She changed back, and looked back at you with tear filled eyes. “...No… I just… Can’t. She’s a manipulator. S-she has to want something more than being left alone. All that hate she has for Princess Celestia… Do you honestly think she’d just let that go?”
“Not completely, no. But she doesn’t want to kill her anymore. If anything, she just seems to want to be seen as better than her, more glamorous than her really. If she was planning anything, then it’d just to be show up Princess Celestia at a beauty contest or something, or have everypony in Canterlot want to have a human car.” You shrugged. “I think you’re exaggerating at this point. There’s no reason to be scared of her.”
Ocellus cautiously looks over the bushes again, peering at the front door of the manor. “I can feel her… But… It feels so different.”
“Well, yeah, like I said, she isn’t evil anymore.” You said with a grin as you passed through the bushes and turned towards Ocellus, pointing towards the door as you did so. “You can come see for yourself if you want. I’m sure she’d be happy to see one of her children that isn’t Scrappy.”
“I can’t… I won’t… “ Ocellus was trying to keep herself from going hysterical again, trying to keep her fears in check, but this was too much for her, she quickly shifted back into a rock to hide herself. “It’s a trick! Why does everypony think otherwise?!”
Dammit. You weren’t going to be made the bad guy. And yet, you started to falter, you began to truly see just how scared Ocellus was of Chrysalis. At this point, it’d be abuse to try to convince her to give Chrysalis a chance. You sighed, you really wanted her to see what you saw, but you didn’t want to traumatize her. “Look, Ocellus… If you want to go back, then fine. I’m done trying to convince you. I don’t want to force you to try to like Chrysalis, I just… I dunno… I just wanted to show you she wasn’t evil anymore.”
“Y-you mean… You’re not going to f-force me?” Ocellus asked, still in rock form, still shaken.
“What?! No… I… Ugh, maybe, truthfully? I wanted to, but seeing you like this? I dunno, it… I’m dumb, I shouldn’t have tried to force this on you. But dammit, I was angry, y’know? You didn’t say anything to me or anything. I’m trying to make friends like everycreature wants me too, and I actually think you guys are okay. So… Yeah, it just kinda pissed me off to find out that you were doing that. So much so that I just wanted you to see how wrong you were.” You say, feeling unsure, relenting on pushing the situation further. “Just go back. All I ask is to at least keep this a secret, I’m trying to ease Chrysalis into the whole ‘harmony’ thing, and I think overblowing this would just destroy any progress I managed to make.”
Ocellus slowly transformed back into her original self once again, wiping her eyes, while seemingly looking down in shame. “I can feel it… I-I really did hurt you… and I… Anon, I’m sorry, I really am! But… This whole thing with the queen. I just… Do you understand how hard it is for me to accept all this? I’m part of her old brood, I’ve been with her for nearly my entire life, and all I’ve ever seen her be is cruel and malicious towards everypony.”
“I know that, but aside from the whole transformation thing you guys went through, she really did her best to keep you all fed, to give you guys what she thought every changeling wanted. I mean, I get it, you guys are better off with that whole color-bug thing. But, Ocellus, she went mental when she lost all of you. Hell, you know the story of that alternate Chrysalis, right? She kinda went mental too when the Flim Flam brothers had you all destroyed. That Chrysalis reformed in a different way of course, but the one thing that’s consistent between the two is the love they have for their kids. I mean, you should see how she is around Scrappy. She loves on that guy like no tomorrow while acting like she doesn’t give a damn. But she does, she always does. I just wanted her, and you, to see that everything could be okay between you all.” You were really pouring your heart out on this one, wanting Ocellus to feel every emotion you felt over all this.
Ocellus just sat there. She was still shaking, but she wasn’t afraid anymore. No, instead she seemed regretful about something, thinking deeply. Finally, she looked deep into your eyes, and began to tell you what she felt. “Anon… I… I believe you. At least, I will believe you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt you be so sincere before, and… Care so much about anything. B-but, you have to understand my side too. I can’t go back to her, I just… I’ve accepted how things are now among us changelings, and I don’t want to think about the past, I don’t want to think about her anymore. I-I know that sounds harsh, but there’s just… So much to unpack from all this. I… I’m scared of her, I’m scared of what she might do, I’m… I’m afraid I might do something to anger her a-a-a-and ruin everything for y-you. I wish I could see what you want me to see, Anon. And I’m sorry, I really am… I promise, I won’t say anything bad about you anymore, it was never my place to say anything like that about you without understanding why.”
You sigh, your ears folding as you plop down on the ground, feeling defeated, even if you were now pretty much safe from any trouble with Twilight or Fluttershy. “Yeah… I guess. Is there any way you’d ever give her a chance? Like, any way at all?”
“W-well… Um, maybe one day? I don’t want to say ‘never’, because maybe one day I will see what you see. But, um, Anon… Um, you can’t force other creatures to see what you see, okay? I-it’s… Erm, scary when you do it.” Ocellus said, tapping her hooves together innocently.
“...Yeah, I think I understand that now. Uh, I kinda wanted to say hi to her and stuff. But, um, do you mind if I tag along and just make sure you get back to town okay? I kinda have no charges left to do it all instantly and I'm worried you might get hurt on the way home.” Dammit, you failed. But… It wasn’t a total loss. Hopefully this lesson sticks, because there might not be a next time if you pull this stunt again.
“S-sure! I-I don’t mind. B-but you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I, um, ummmm, may not really like the queen, b-but d-don’t let me stop you from being around her. I just… Well, I… Never mind.” She wanted to say how she hopes you’re actually right and that Chrysalis was actually good, but then she realized that at this point, it’d be rude to push on something that may sound insincere coming from her. “But, um, Anon, can I ask you something?”
You nod. “Erm, yeah… What is it?” God this situation was awkward. You had to let out a heavy breath of air, trying to relax from how ridiculous and emotional this all was.
“Can you, um, also, erm, maybe not foalnap me again too? Or anypony? R-remember what Professor Fluttershy says. ‘D-don’t fight it out, talk it out!’” She said as she tried to force a reassuring grin upon herself.
“...I mean… Uahhhmmmm.” You said, eyeing her up and down as you pointed towards her, rolling your hoof around in the air.
“Oh, right… I-I should have done that too. Erm… Mmmm, I-I… Like I said, I-I’ll never do that again. Erm, the, um, 'talking behind others back' part.” She said sheepishly, giving you an awkward grin.
“Y-yeah… Erm, yeah…” Fuck, this could have gone way better…
“...So yeah, I tried to figure out these runes but they just didn’t make any sense to me. ‘Lirr Ot Ekd’ is what it looked like to me. I used my magic to just send it to where it needed to go, but something just seems weird to me about having to figure out some ancient runes. What do you think?” You asked Ocellus as you moved a few bushes away for her to move through as you both neared the exit to the forest.
“‘Lirr Ot ekd’? I’ve never heard of that before. I-I haven’t been around as long as the queen, or my older siblings, but I’d think I’ve been around enough to hear of some ancient runes that look like letters. But, Anon, they might not even be letters. Mnnnn, you think Cozy’s friend isn’t good, don’t you?” Ocellus asked as she gazed at you with a frown.
“It’s just sort of suspicious, that’s all. But if it is some old dude, then I don’t wanna be the guy who goes charging in on a doddering old pony and give him a heart attack or something. I mean, what, do you think it’s wrong of me to think the guy isn’t on the up and up after what happened with the Storm King?” You asked her.
“A-actually, it’s alright to be a little protective. It’s weird Cozy Glow seems to be making mysterious friends, but it isn’t right of us to accuse them of anything, especially since we don’t know them and it doesn’t seem they’ve done anything wrong.” Ocellus said, feeling sure of her words. “I-I think she knows better this time. MMmmmm…” Ocellus began to murmur to herself, she noticed she was about to take a shot at you and your relationship with Chrysalis, but she stopped herself before she could say a single word about it. “I-I’m sure everything will be fine. You just have to believe in her. I’m sure the runes are probably just to make things interesting for her friend. He sounds old and lonely, so he might just like to play games. You said you sent a bench, right? What’s so evil about a bench?”
“Uhhhh…” What was so evil about a bench? You just stood there, deep in thought.
There really wasn’t anything evil about a bench. Even if it was made with chaos materials, he couldn’t do anything with it. Hell, thinking about it, it may actually be dangerous for this Winter Krumb guy to have.
Suddenly, Ocellus began to giggle. She found your reaction amusing. “Oh, Anon, that’s actually kind of funny. I guess we can both feel dumb together now about being so suspicious about our frien-AHHH!” Ocellus suddenly let out a shrill yell. “SMOLDER! I FORGOT ABOUT SMOLDER! Oh no!” Ocellus held on to her head as she began to panic. “She’s going to be so scared and worried about me. She must have seen me just disappear and she has no idea why! Anon, I need to get back to her before she tells Headmare Twilight! Y-you could get in trouble if everycreature goes out looking for me.”
For some reason, you remained calm about this. It was actually kind of nice to see her care about your well-being like that. Though, it would be fucking terrible if the situation wasn’t quelled before it got out of hand. You just waved your hoof forward and gave her a smile. “Hey, no worries. Go back to Smolder, okay? Tell her what happened. I mean, uhm, you can smooth this out for me, right?”
“I’ll try, I’m sure she’ll understand if I explain everything. B-but what about mentioning the queen?” Ocellus asked, her hooves bouncing up and down as she got antsy about the situation.
“Just tell her. I think it’s better to be honest about this whole thing than to make up a lie. I mean, she’s not going to go and try to talk to Chrysalis, right?” You asked.
“I… I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.” Ocellus said, with a dead serious tone in her timid voice. Of course she was going to do her best to make sure none of her friends visit Chrysalis. That is, if they ever got the idea to. To her, she was still dangerous, even if she was possibly reformed.
“Thank you. Uh, don’t worry about me, I’m going to detour towards my aunt’s cottage. I have stuff I have to do there.” In fact, you had to go there tonight. Now that the house was yours and Discord’s again, the small amount of things, like your dresser, had to be teleported back to your room. Though, you wonder if Discord is going to tell Fluttershy about what happened with Jimmy, if you have to, or if she’s even going to be told at all.
“O-Okay! But be safe, we’re still in the forest, after all.” Ocellus said as she opened her buggy wings and began to hover upwards.
“I know. Trust me, we got this far without any trouble, I doubt anything is going to jump out at me now. We’re literally a few yards from the exit.” You said, pointing towards the forest clearing.
“R-right! Okay! Take care, Anon! Be safe! I-I know I just said that, and that I shouldn’t worry, but I still mean it!” Ocellus said before hurtling through the air back to Smolder.
“Shit…” You whispered to yourself. “I wonder if it’s a good idea for Smolder to know so soon. No, c’mon, Anon. Smolder respects you, she’s not going to go bother Chrysalis just like…” You stop when you suddenly hear a growl behind you. You turn back to see three rather large Timber Wolves on a log, growling at you. “...Because of course irony would slap me in the face for shits and giggles.”
You just look at them with a bored look as you open your saddlebag and slap your wings on your back. “Y’know, I don’t even get you guys. Do you even need to eat? Were you following us? Yeah… not really feeling like a fight today, so… Seeya!” You salute as you launch yourself in the air, the ravenous creatures trying to grab onto you as you rise above the trees and look forward into the setting sun with a sigh. “God, today has been rough. This has literally been the best part of my day and… And I’m talking to myself again.” You flew forward with a sigh, heading towards the exit of the forest, heading towards Fluttershy’s for some well deserved R&R. As you flew, you raised your hoof towards your ear to give Discord a call, to ask if he told Fluttershy about what happened. “Discord, you there?”
“Hm? Anon? There’s not another problem, is there? Bailing you out twice in one day isn’t very becoming of you, it makes you seem lazy.” Discord replied.
Goddammit… “Y’know, sometimes I just wanna chat with you.”
“Yes, but you’re about to either have me save you from something or ask me how it’s going with Fluttershy. Am I right? Really, you could have called me for a joint prank venture, a challenge against Celestia for being so thick headed, or even a friendly chat about the weather would have been nice. Well, actually, that last part is dreadfully boring and I would have scolded you for even bringing it up.” Discord said, sounding rather amused with his own words.
Double dammit… “Fine, I was going to ask about Fluttershy. So, what? Did you tell her what happened?”
“I did, and I did it personally without using a clone to take all the hullabaloo. And before you ask, she took it well. Yes, I skimped on some of the finer details, but I also wasn’t there to really observe said details, so she accepted the mere tale of a changeling who finally went too far with his gambling.” Discord said with a cruel chuckle.
“Ignoring the fact a certain draconequus went too far with the same gambling, that’s the best I could hope for. Alright, look, I’ve had a pretty tough day, so I just kinda want to hang out with Fluttershy and forget this whole daEAFDSFD” And without even realizing it, you crash through an open window, and through the curtains of one of the rooms in Twilight’s castle, rolling forward until you crashed into a bookcase located in her bedroom.
“Anon? Anon? What happened? I heard something stupid happen and I am hoping, quite greatly I might add, that the sound I heard wasn’t from you.” Discord said in mock worry.
You just stared at the ground, and slowly moved your hoof to your ear with an aggravated huff. “I… I decided to visit Twilight instead.”
“Oh, then it was from you then. Well, you have fun with that. Ciao!” Discord said as the communication link cut off.
You rolled to the side, onto your back, and huffed as your wings popped off. “Why was this castle so tall again?”
“Uh, because it’s a castle. So, are you gonna explain the raid on yonder window or is this some chaos thing you and Discord are pulling? Because I’m sorta busy working on Twilight’s schedule here.” Spike said as he walked over to you, standing over you as he looked down on your face, confused. “Or if you actually came for a game of O&O, then you’re kinda early.”
…
Whatever…
“Spike, why can’t it just be that I crashed through the window like an idiot?” You said with a groan.
“Yikes… I guess I’d ask why and hope it isn’t anything serious. What’s wrong? does it have to do with friendship school?” Spike asked, showing a little more concern for you.
“No, it’s because I crashed through the window of a castle because I wasn’t paying attention.” You said stoically.
Spike looked back at the window, then the ground, then back at you. “Yeesh, that’s worse than Twilight when she first got wings. Maybe you should stop wearing these, huh?” Spike said as he picked up your cardboard wings and looked them over before slipping them into your bag. “As cool as it is to fly, if you don’t have a grasp on it like I do, then all you’re gonna do is crash into things.”
“...I’ll keep a note of it. So, uh, ugh…” You just groaned to yourself. This still wasn’t the worst thing to happen to you today, and it was mostly your fault. Your mind was muddled with what happened with Jimmy, and Ocellus, and even Discord’s attitude. You needed to find a way to get your mind out of this funk. You slowly began to stand and dust yourself off. “Look, Spike, I’ve actually had a pretty bad day. You mind just, I dunno, talking with me for a while?”
“Huh… Well, okay.” Spike said, concerned about your sudden self defeatist attitude. “What’s on your mind, Anon?”
“I dunno, I guess I’m doubting myself. You’d think reforming Chrysalis would be a bigger deal, but nopony outside you guys seem to want to give her a chance. Then there’s the fact that I’ve been feeling self-conscious about what others think of me. I’m not asking for everypony to like me. No, that’s not it. I guess it’s because somepony I didn’t expect to talk about me behind my back was talking about me behind my back. And it made me think, well, what do my other friends really think of me? I guess I’m feeling a little vulnerable.” You explained as Spike brought you a small seat to sit on as he hopped onto Twilight’s bed to listen to you.
“Geez, that’s weird hearing that from you. Self-conscious, huh? Well, the Chrysalis thing is kind of tough to swallow for some of us, Anon. Sure, I’m okay with it, but getting Shining and Cadance to accept it, or even any regular ponyfolk to believe that is gonna be rough. Don’t get me started on the changelings, Twilight hasn’t even sent a letter to King Thorax yet because she doesn’t want to send the whole hive into a mental breakdown.” Spike shrugged. “If you want everypony to give her a chance, you’re gonna have to give them some time. But I also wouldn’t worry too much, you still have Twilight and the other princesses on your side, so there’s that. As for somepony talking about you behind your back, I don’t think that’s right. Anon, whoever it was, don’t worry about it.” Spike gives you a thumbs up. “Whatever they said, I bet you it isn’t true.”
You winced at Spike’s optimism. Your ears fold as you let out a depressive sigh. “Except it kinda is, Spike. Not all of it, but some. I dunno, Spike, do you think I’ve managed to improve myself from how I used to be?”
“Anon… Hey come on, what is this? Who was saying bad stuff about you? What did they even say?” Spike asked, even more concerned as he rarely, if ever, saw you so down before.
“You know Ocellus, right? It was her…” Well, it was her and Jimmy, but you didn’t want to talk about him, nor did you even want to think about him anymore. “And what she thought of me, er, kinda was true? Basically, I guess someponies see me as shady or untrustworthy…” You let out a regretful sigh. “Which is true, and I try not to be, but I always screw that up.” You then look to Spike, with some desperation in your voice. “But I do good things to offset that, right? I mean, I reformed Chrysalis and I help out with my magic. Ugh… Spike, am I overthinking it, am I a bad guy? I mean, am I somepony who everypony should watch out for, or… Something? I dunno, something close to that?”
Spike just stared at you, confused as to why you were acting like this, acting so vulnerable. “Uhhhh, okay, uhhh, wasn’t really expecting that from Ocellus… Uh, didn’t know she could make you feel this down.” Spike was rubbing the back of his head, thinking hard, trying to think of something to say. “Look, do you want the truth? Like, how I feel?”
You just look at him, and nod.
“Okay… Anon, you’re kinda like Discord in a way. You do things nopony likes and make everypony worry, and I mean, sometimes worry more than when everypony worries about what Discord is doing. It’s just the truth, you do some pretty crazy stuff, and sometimes it’s stuff nopony likes. But, dude, come on, you’re a hero, just like me! You reformed Chrysalis, nocreature could do that! You went hoof to hoof with the Storm King! We have one of the best school counselors thanks to you. And dude, Fluttershy like, totally adores you. Look, if you want my advice, confront Ocellus, without going overboard about whatever she said, and tell her how you feel. She seems pretty sensible to me, so what can go wrong?” Spike hops off from the bed and gently pats your back. “If Twilight was here, she’d tell you for all your faults, you have a big heart to share with everypony. Corny, but true.” Spike says, raising his claw in a matter-of-factly like way. “So what, are you suddenly going to mope over nothing? Or are you going to go out there and be the best Anon you can be?”
You turn your head to look out the window. “It’s kinda getting dark.”
Spike slaps his face and groans. “You know what I mean.”
You chuckle at that. “I do. So, heh, I mean, I guess nopony really has a problem with me right now beside Shining and… Wait, you mentioned Cadance. Princess Cadance has a problem with me?”
Spike twirled his hand around a bit before twisting it left and right. “Ehhhhhh, kinda? You know how it is. Shining can’t get over it, and if he can’t get over it, then it’s also her problem. According to her last letter, she just wants to get the guy calmed down enough so you and him can have a sit down and sort things out. Speaking of…” Spike then points at you, giving you a serious stare. “When that happens, you’re gonna play it straight, right? Because, dude, you do not want to stay on Shining’s bad side.”
You rolled your eyes and groaned. “Yeah, yeah, I promise to be good. But just to let you know, Twilight’s brother needs to get over himself, he did break my leg after all.”
Spike crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow at you. “Discord already told me what actually happened, Anon.”
You winced hard at that one. Holy shit, he told Spike?! “G-guh… Um, h-he did? Okay, okay, fine. But he was being a huge jerk! He threatened to lock me up! Like seriously, that’s messed up!”
Spike nodded. “Yeah, he told me and Big Mad during our last session. One of the rare moments when Discord feels self-conscious and was trying to get me and Big Mac to tell him how we feel about it. He tried to pose it as a hypothetical, but I knew what was up. But don’t worry, you guys' secret is safe with me as long as it doesn’t hurt anypony. As for Shining…“ Spike shrugged. “I’ll give you that one, especially since he didn’t know what was up. Look, relax, Anon, things are gonna be fine. And if you still are doubting yourself, well, go talk to your aunt then. You know how it goes, if Fluttershy doesn’t like you, then you’re actually a problem.”
You snickered at that. “But she loves me, Spike, like, unconditionally.”
Spike waved his claw at you, smirking at you. “Yeah, yeah, so that just means you better not break her heart, or else Discord is gonna mess with you instead.”
“Aha… Good point. Ah well, I already know things are fine with her. But yeah, I was heading towards the cottage before I crashed in here.” You let yourself relax, then look to Spike with a warming smile. “Thanks Spike, you make a good therapist sometimes.”
“Ah, well, y’know.” Spike said with a humble chuckle. “When you hang around Twilight all your life, literally, you kinda pick up on a few things when it comes to helping a friend sort out their problems. Like, literally, I do it all the time.”
“Yeah, I noticed. Y’know, Spike, you really are a hero, you know that? I don’t think I could do your job.” You said. Like seriously, you thought about it for a moment, and you realized being around and actually assisting Twilight would drive you insane, much worse than anything Discord is capable of.
“Well, that’s why I’m her number one.” Spike said as he stood proudly, pointing at himself. “I’m the best dragon for the job.”
He sure was. With a more positive outlook on yourself, and realizing you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself over what others have said about you, you say your goodbyes as you head downstairs through the castle while making sure to avoid Twilight, if only because you didn’t want to converse with her. You stepped out through the front doors of the castle and took a deep breath as the sunset greeted you with an ever darkening orange glow. It was getting dark, so you knew you had to hurry to Fluttershy’s before she prepared dinner.
But suddenly, you hear a giggle.
A familiar Draconequus’s giggle…
“Discord? Ah fuck, Discord… What? What did I do?” You said, looking around frantically, wondering what the fuck he planned to do to you, and why.
But he didn’t reply, there was just another giggle, which prompted you to follow it. “The hell, he’s around here, right? Discord? You there?”
As you looked around the outside perimeter of the castle, you noticed something… Glowing and glittering. The fuck? It almost looked like him, but he kept disappearing whenever you tried to get a good look at him. he seemed to be moving away from you, hiding behind trees and even in the water as he zipped about, seemingly heading back towards the Everfree, casually moving through the town as you slowly followed him. “It… Looks like him. Woah, woah… Hold on. Why am I following him? It’s obviously a trap.” You put your hoof over your ear and activate your codec. “Discord! Yo, pick up! I’m not gonna play this game.”
It took a moment, but Discord did indeed pick up. “Anon? Ah good, perfect timing. I need you to come to Fluttershy’s, post haste. There’s a certain rabbit here who won’t give me back my golden carrot. Normally, I’d just use my magic, but I did promise Fluttershy to handle a situation like this with words rather than violence.”
Wut? “Er, okay? I mean, did you try using words then?”
“Why would I do that? It’s my carrot! Now then, would you be a good little colt and help your dear old father figure out an alternative solution to this situation? I refuse to show any kind of humility to this thieving rabbit.” Discord asked
“Discord, just talk to Angel. How did he even get your carrot, anyway?” You asked back, already exasperated with the situation.
“Would you believe that I left it for him so I could have a laugh at him foolishly trying to lift a solid gold carrot? He’s surprisingly strong.” Discord said
…Okay…
“Alright… Okay, fine, I’ll be right over. But, uh, Discord, I need you to be real with me for a minute, okay?” Okay, let’s hope he’s in a truth telling mood.
“If it will get you over here faster, then I’ll be more real than the readers of an overly long and ultimately pointless story.” Discord replied.
“Alright… So, I’m pretty sure I am seeing you fly around town, heading towards the forest. But you’re all shiny, and giggling creepily. Is that you?” You asked, somehow dreading it even more if it isn’t him.
“What do you take me for, an amateur? One does not simply try to spirit a colt away with whimsical glitter and giggles. You have to use their own traits against them, twist them to your will, that whole thing, you watched the episodes. So no, it isn’t me. Is that a good enough answer? Are you coming or not?” Discord asked in a more demanding manner.
You just went silent, feeling a chill up your spine. So… that thing wasn’t Discord then? What the fuck was that thing? You looked around towards some of the townsponies going home, and noticed that none of them seemed to have noticed any of the sounds or the shining Discord. Which was weird, because you know they’d be moving faster to get away from him had they seen him. “Discord… Can you come and get me please?” You were actually scared. You didn’t have your charges right now, and whatever that thing was, you were afraid it was trying to spirit you away to eat you… Or something like that.
“Anon…?” Discord said your name, with sudden concern in his tone. “What exactly did you see? Anon?”
“I just… Discord, I think there’s some sort of doppelganger trying to lure me away into the forest. I don’t have any charges, and nopony seems to have seen it passing by them.” You said as you backed up towards a building, hiding by the steps, keeping your eyes peeled for the false Discord.
“How peculiar, you’d think I’d sense such a thing. Fine, keep the golden carrot, you long eared rat thingy. Do you see it now, Anon?” Discord asked.
“Not anymore.” You said, slowly poking your head out and looking around.
“Are you sure it isn’t some changeling toying with you? It could be the Apple’s dog trying to lure you into some sort of challenge. I know if I wanted to lure me into the forest, that I’d do it in that exact way.” Discord said, sounding rather jolly about it. “Oh yes, it’d be a glorious battle for sure, let me tell you.”
…Oh, right, it could be Scrappy. Hell, it could be Chrysalis. Maybe Ocellus? You went from scared to rather unamused. “Ugh, I somehow forgot about that. Okay, whatever, fuck this. I’ll be over there soon, don’t worry about it.” Like, fuck that noise, you weren't going to follow it. If Scrappy wanted a challenge, then he can fucking come challenge you like a man! Or, uh, a changeling? Dog? Whatever...
“...C’mon, Anon, why are you still bothered by this shit? Spike pretty much told you you were pretty damned great. So what if you wig out some ponies? Who cares? Most of the ones who wig out aren’t even your friend or just act way too righteous in the first place! But that’s what I think, isn’t it? Dammit, why did Spike have to mention the stuff that I do that pisses everyone off? Ugh, it’s because nobody likes that shit… Hell, nobody would like that kind of shit back on Earth. But you have your friends, they like you, they like what you do… Mostly. You really don’t mean to cause that much trouble, or to worry everyone, or even put them in danger. Dammit! Some of this shit wasn’t even your fault. And for all the shit I went with to reform Chrysalis, it paid off! Look at you, Anon. You just need to get your shit organized and focus on what’s important. And what is it I find important? My friends, my life, and doing cool shit. Everything has worked out so far, and now that all the villains of the world have been properly dealt with, it just means you can blast whatever new fucker shows up. Yeah, and that’s alright. Your friends like you, and that’s alright too. Feel like I’m learning a friendship lesson over here.” You said in a mock Italian accent at the end, doing your best to put your thoughts aside, finding them a nuisance as you felt things were better after the pep talk you got from Spike.
“Yet you’re always afraid of losing the friends you have. Perhaps being afraid to go back to where you started. Alone” said a voice that sounded eerily like Celestia’s.
Wut?
“Hello? Who said that?” You said as your ears perked up, looking around to find the source of that voice. Though, as you looked around, everything seemed dimmer than usual as the streets were suddenly eerily empty.
“You should know, you’re always acting like you’re the best. It doesn’t matter what you tell yourself, or what others tell you, you’ll always get cocky and end up hurting everypony around you.” Said a voice, this time sounding like Sweetie Belle
You narrowed your eyes as the streets became darker, rain starting to slowly drop out of nowhere. “Sweetie Belle? The hell? What is this? Where are you?”
“Silver Stream, Yona, Diamond Tiara, you even let me get hurt by Chrysalis all that time ago and you didn’t do anything about it! What kind of friend are you!” Shouted the voice of Scootaloo.
You remained silent. Whatever the hell this was, it was smelling like a certain princess of the night. Why? You had no clue, but if she was trying to teach you some sort of lesson, you were going to let her have it this time. Where does she get off with this? Is she trying to make you feel guilty over bullshit? Why?!
“Hmph, I bet he sees friendship as a commodity. In fact, is there a reason you stuck with me, Anon? I bet I know what you really want.” Said the voice of Diamond Tiara, in a mocking tone.
“Alright! Luna! Stop this right now! Because I’m going to get really pissed if you speak to me as Chrysalis or Starlight. Or what, you gonna talk to me as Spike next? You are aware I just spoke to him, right? Fuck…” The hell did she want? Hell, when the hell did you fall asleep? You remembered speaking to Spike, going down the castle stairs, and leaving. Did you trip down the stairs and not realize it? Ugh, you were not doing this, you already had a really shit day. “Like, seriously, Luna. Fine, I get it, you’re upset about Yona, you’re upset about what happened with Jimmy. How you found out, I have no damned clue. But talk to me like I’m a pony and not some experiment you can mess with. Either talk or get out of my goddamned head!” You barked, as the town began to vanish around you.
Suddenly there was nothing. No town, no voices, no ponies. Even if this was a dream, it was starting to become really eerie. Luna usually showed herself when she was caught. “Look, cut this fake shit, alright? It isn’t funny, and all it does is piss me off. The hell, Luna, seriously. I get it, alright? Geez, this isn’t even fair! I can’t do shit in here! Come out and face me, dammit!” You demanded. You weren’t going to put up with this. You had problems, sure, but getting them worked out through a nightmare was not going to be something you were going to put up with. You were a person, dammit, you wanted to be treated like one by these damn princesses and not seen as something to lecture or scare into believing whatever they wanted you to believe.
“Hm, I had not anticipated this. One does not usually realize the reality before them quite so quickly.” Said another voice. But this one, it didn’t make sense. It sounded like Discord.
Discord…
No, it had to be that thing, that thing that looked like him but was all glowy and sparkly.
You snorted as your right eyebrow twitched from frustration. You then turned around to see it, the glowing Discord, staring at you silently. “Luna? Tch, look, that isn’t going to fool me, I know that isn’t Discord.”
“You are correct in not believing I am Discord, though I must inform you that I am also not Princess Luna. It does seem, however, that your encounters with her have made you consciously wary of illusions.” Said the false Discord, sounding more straightforward and mundane in speech than he ever would.
“Yeah, no shit. You need to try harder if you’re going to try to fool me with some cheap trick.” You growled, stomping up to fake Discord, ready to give it a piece of your mind. “So, how do you want to do this then? Because if illusions is all you got, then I’m gonna kick your ass right here and now.”
“Calm yourself, Anon, I have not come looking for a fight. My intentions are not malevolent in nature. I needed to see, and test, your resolve. However, with your powers of perception, it is impossible for me to do that. Therefore my only option is to speak to you, and hope you understand my words.” The Discord fake explained, standing as if he was some benevolent force of nature.
“Calm myself? Calm myself?! Fuck off! I’m sick of being tested, and I’m sick of everyone trying to figure out who I am! I know who I am! I’m Anon, so who the fuck are you?!” You said with a hoof stomp. You showed no fear, certain you could beat some cheap illusionist.
“I am the spirit of the Tree of Harmony.” The false Discord said with a bow.
Wut?
WUT?!
“What?! Seriously?! Come on, how can you expect me to believe that?! You never showed up in any of the earlier seasons! I’m not an idiot, I’m not going to fall for some stupid shit like that!” There was no goddamn way. The tree had a sentient spirit? While that was possible, there was no reason for it to show up so late all of a sudden.
“If you do not wish to believe me, then you may believe what you wish. Although, I thought you’d be more agreeable with me choosing this form, but it seems I have misunderstood you once again.” The spirit said, as it slowly began to turn into a floating glowing orb.
“That’s right, you have. So then, what exactly do you want with me? What, am I some chosen one or something? I mean, that’d be cool and all, but it’d also make it pretty obvious you aren’t who you say you are.” Would it be bad to be the ultimate gary stu of Equestria? Well, this wasn’t some story after all, so if this thing was what it said it was, then having a free destined win would be kind of cool.
“No. My tests were not intended to see if you would rise up as Equestria’s hero. Rather, it was to see if I could prevent a calamity I have foreseen. A calamity caused by your ego, your arrogance.” The ball explained.
What? Your ego? What was she or he or whatever getting at? You narrowed an eye at it as you tilted your head, confused by its words. “Excuse me? You have to be kidding me. Again, that is hard to believe when you should have shown up much earlier, y’know, with the whole Storm King thing? I don’t know if you noticed, but everyone that could cause a problem through me is gone or reformed. And you can trust me, I’ve learned my lesson in showing any mercy to an evil villain.”
“You say all this, but I am able to see through you. You convince yourself that you have learned your lesson, yet also know you’ll always go back to what you’d call a ‘status quo’. The criticisms you receive and the mistakes you make only ever affect you temporarily, as your want for forgiveness or understanding isn’t to better yourself, but to sate your damaged ego until you become sure you can do what you wish without repercussions. You don’t learn from your mistakes, nor do you challenge yourself. You merely adapt to cover the weaknesses of your ego by using the powers gifted to you by one so irresponsible. Time and time again you make a mistake despite being so knowledgeable on what those mistakes can cause, simply because you feel it doesn’t apply to you. You have put others at risk, because you dismiss the dangers and risks of your power, your shortcuts often backfiring with grave results. Only your luck, and your friends, have kept you from falling into ultimate misery.” The spirit explained, with no emotion, one way or another, in its voice.
“Excuse me?” You furrowed your brow at the spirit. That actually pissed you off. Was it implying you were just a shit and careless person? Dammit, and yet, there was truth to its words. But it was only exaggerating the negative. You cared about your friends, and your family. it was disregarding all your effort to do good. Hell, it doesn’t seem to get that you have selflessly risked your life multiple times to help save others. “That’s strike three, spirit. Where the fuck do you get off psychoanalyzing me? My ego? You think I do what I do for the fame or credit? Bitch, I risk my life all the time, ALL THE TIME! Sometimes without giving it a second thought. So if this is some sort of Christmas Carol revelation, then I’m sorry to say, I’m not the Scrooge you’re looking for.”
“You needn’t have to risk your life if you did not create the situations that requires such a risk in the first place. Your reckless nature is a double edged sword that both helps and hinders you, but your attitude and inability to truly accept the repercussions that occur due to your own actions will, and has, brought about great calamity to those around you. I want you to understand that I recognize all the good you have done, but it does not condone all the bad you have caused.” The spirit explained, its voice never showing one emotion or another.
“I do understand that! Holy hell! You know what? I know what this is, you’re just one of those old spirits that THINK others should act a certain way. Well, guess what, I don’t care what you think or what you have to say, because I know my wrongs and my faults. And you know what? There is nothing left in this world connected to me that I can screw up. I reformed the changeling queen, so fuck off, you haven’t done jack shit! You know what? Why am I even taking this? You’ve already said you misunderstood my abilities and shit, so why don’t you leave me alone, huh? Go bother someone else.” You were angry, but you tried to seem calm and above it all as you gestured with your hoof dismissively towards the floating orb.
“Perhaps I have approached you in the wrong manner. But I do believe in my visions. If you wish for me to go, then I shall. However, I will pose a final question to you. You say you have solved the incidents involving you, therefore you have the experience to avoid yet another disaster. Do you believe this to be true? Because I believe there is an avenue one can use to wreak havoc across the land.” The spirit said, awaiting your answer.
“You mean if Chrysalis can manipulate me to get what she wants. You see, spirit, as I’ve already explained, I reformed her. So, are we done? Can you leave me alone now? Because I’m not going to let you sew any do-huh?” Before you could finish your sentence, the spirit simply flew off into the darkness surrounding you. Either it had heard what it wanted to hear or it simply did not like your answer. You didn’t care, only finding the experience odd and infuriating overall. “The fuck was that?" Either that really was the spirit of the tree or it was some convincing asshole trying to make you feel doubt. As the town became visible and the rain became heavier, you just pointed forward blindly and began to shout. “You can’t fake me out! You hear me?! I’m Anon! ANON! I’ve got everything under control! You got it wrong! Alright?! WRONG!”
“Anon?! Anon! Who are you shouting at, why are you out here in the rain all by yourself?” said a familiar and aristocratic voice behind you.
“What?!” You turned around to see Rarity, holding an elegant and rather large umbrella over herself with her magic to defend against the rain. “M-Miss Rarity?! Um, I… I was…” Dammit, what would she think right now if you told her you were yelling at the spirit of the tree of harmony, in the rain, when it was seemingly unperceived by everyone else around you. “I was going to Aunt Fluttershy’s, but some jerk showed up and started, uh, saying some mean things about me.”
“Some jerk? In this dreadful rain?” Rarity asked confusingly as she looked around for the culprit. “How rude, I absolutely know how you feel when it comes to uncouth rabble rousers like them. But Anon, you shouldn’t be standing out in the rain like this, you’ll catch a cold. Come next to me, and I’ll walk you to your aunt’s cottage.”
“Huh? Oh, u-um, thank you, Miss Rarity.” Showing a respectful bow, you took to her side as she adjusted the umbrella slightly to accommodate you, then turned around to walk towards the cottage. “Really, thank you. But what are you doing out here?”
“I was heading to the castle. I have a few plans for the school that I wanted to go over with Twilight. But catching you out here, yelling at seemingly nothing, I simply had to see if you were alright and make sure you do not catch some sort of sickness. I can’t believe somepony would choose now to provoke a response from you. Really, you’re just like my Spikey Wikey, a hero! And quite the gentlecolt. Very rude, I must say.”
Your ears fold as you hear those words. Dammit, why did her words sting? It didn’t make any sense to you. There was no way she’d believe the spirit of the tree was harassing you for bullshit reasons, so you shouldn't feel any guilt on what she believes. Fuck it, why should you let it bother you? You did nothing wrong. “Yeah, well, I guess some ponies just have to cause trouble.”
“Indeed. Well, whatever they said, you shouldn’t worry about it. I’m sure it was all hogwash anyway. In fact, can you tell me who this perpetrator was? I’d like to give them a piece of my mind.” Rarity said, with distaste in her tone.
“I… Didn’t actually catch who it was. The rain made them hard to spot.” You lied, once again feeling a sting as you immediately try to mentally dismiss it.
“Of course, the coward’s veil. Well, never you mind, Anon. You’re with me now, and I’ll make sure you reach your destination without needing to worry about any more provocation. If I know your aunt, and I surely do, then I’m sure she’ll bring a smile to you even better than Pinkie Pie can. And I do not say that with insult towards Pinkie Pie, mind you. I simply mean that you always seem so calm and soothed when in her presence. One would truly believe you see her as your mother rather than an aunt. Which, if I do say so myself, is exactly the case as far as I’m concerned. I’ll even go as far to say that you, Fluttershy, and Discord make an unexpected but very loving family.” Rarity then giggled as she turned her head towards you. “I hope I didn’t go too far with my sentiments. But then again, I have this feeling you feel the same way.”
You did!... You do. That wasn’t a lie. That was the truth! You valued your family. You valued Fluttershy and Discord. Of course the spirit didn’t even think about that. Trying to make you seem like a piece of shit when you’re part of a fully functional family. Yeah, fuck that thing. “You’re right, Miss Rarity! I love my aunt Fluttershy! And I really like Dad!” Oh geez, that sounded corny. But it was the truth.
Rarity giggled warmly once again, she almost looked like she wanted to give you a pat on the head, but she just looked on forward and gave a gentle nod. “I can say the same about my family. My love for my family, and my friends, is stronger than anything in the fashion world. Remember, Anon. Your friends and family will always be forever, beyond any material possession. Well, I’m sure I didn’t have to tell you that, right?”
Friends and family…
Forever…
You’d never drive them all away, right? There was nothing you could do now to screw things up…
You were sure of this…
You were sure…
You looked up to Rarity, and gave a reluctant nod. “Yeah. Trust me, Miss Rarity, I know.”
You and Rarity stood in front of Fluttershy’s door as the rain still continued to pour, with thankfully no real wind to make it anything more than a simple heavy pouring of rain. Rarity prepares to knock with her hoof until she looks down upon you and frowns, bringing a handkerchief to your forehead and cheeks, one of many that came before, to try to dry you up. “Really, trying to get you riled up like that in the pouring rain. I certainly hope your Aunt has some towels ready for you.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure she does.” You tell her, beaming a grin at her. While internally, still thinking about that stupid spirit. Why did it just leave like that? You know you told it to leave, but it seemed like it was taunting you, like it wanted you to make some kind of mistake.
“Oh, I never had any doubt. I suppose I was more worried about getting you dried up so quickly. Speaking of, I should probably knock on the door then...” Rarity began to knock, and politely waited for the door to open.
“Anon? Oh, you’re finally here! I hope the rain wasn’t too terrible for you. I’m actually excited what kind of spell you used to stay dry and…” The door opened, as a cheery Fluttershy came to greet you. But when she saw Rarity, her cheeriness suddenly became confusion. “Rarity? O-oh, hello, I wasn’t expecting you. I thought you’d be at the castle. Oh, did Anon bring you here to bring you out of the rain? Here…” Fluttershy stepped aside to let you both in. “Why don’t you both come in?”
“Oh, I’d love to, but I actually really must be going to the castle. I’m only here to drop Anon off and ask if you can get him some towels, he’s a tad wet.” Rarity explained, looking down at you as she gives you a gentle pet. “Poor thing has had a rough evening.”
“Rough? M-my Anon? Oh, towels! Here, let me go get some! Anon, why don’t you snuggle up on the sofa. Don’t worry about it getting wet or dirty, I can get it cleaned up after tonight.” Fluttershy said as she rushed off to get some towels for you.
Dammit, you didn’t want Fluttershy to worry at all about this. In fact, you wanted a chance to speak to Discord about this, see if he even knows about this tree spirit. You decide to step inside and sit on the rug instead, not wanting to ruin Fluttershy’s sofa. “I don’t want to get your nice sofa dirty, Aunt Fluttershy. I can sit on the rug.” Though she didn’t seem to hear you as she vanished into her room.
Rarity giggled at that, finding it precious. “Ever the gentlecolt. Even when offered warm hospitality, he’d rather not be a nuisance, as if he ever was one. Anon, darling, I really would recommend the sofa. I can certainly guess you could use one of your spells to clean up after yourself. A single spell used shouldn’t be too much, I think.”
“Oh, right, I guess I can do that. Um, okay then.” You walk over to the sofa and look at it for a second, then like a cat, you hop up onto it, spin once, and let yourself curl up next to the warm pillows beside you. “...It is pretty warm up here.”
“Of course it is, and I should know, I have had some of my more dramatic moments on sofas.” Rarity said with a sort of fondness in her tone. Then, as she saw Fluttershy hover down her stairs with towels on her back, she looked at her and said. “Ah, and here comes Fluttershy to save the day. Now that you have things handled, and as much as I would like to converse, I really must be going. You will be alright, won’t you?”
Fluttershy already began to slowly and carefully wrap you up in towels until only your head was popping out, just staring at her as you felt a little embarrassed, but also rather cozy. “Of course I will, why wouldn’t I be? U-unless you mean whatever you meant about my Anon having a rough evening. It was only rain, wasn’t it?”
“Sadly not.” Rarity said as she took a moment to step in, despite saying she had to go. “Some rapscallion was cowardly hiding near Anon, insulting him every which way. The poor dear was made livid in the rain. I don’t even think he noticed how soaked he was getting. Really, it’s disgusting, they should at least try that in somepony’s face. Though, I think we both know how that would turn out.” Rarity said with a scowl.
“That’s so strange. Anon, did you see who it was?” Fluttershy asked you as she adjusted the towels ever so slightly for your comfort.
“Ummm, not really.” You lied, hesitant in your answer.
“Like I said, an utter coward. And… Oh, silly me. I think I should be going, I have no idea if this rain is going to get worse or not. Besides…” Rarity giggled at you while you were wrapped up adorably in the towels. “I don’t think I’d want to ruin such a precious moment with such dreadful details. Besides, I don't want to keep Twilight waiting.”
Fluttershy giggled at that. “Well, Rarity, I don’t think Twilight would mind if you were late or not. Especially with all that rain. That can slow anypony down.”
“That is why we have umbrellas like these. To protect our bodies, our make up, and our manes. And the occasional colt in need.“ Rarity said with a wink towards you. “Anyway, darling, I mustn't dawdle much longer. Ta-ta!” Rarity said with a short wave as she closed the door with her magic, to make her way to Twilight’s castle.
“Bye Rarity.” Fluttershy said with a wave, with you saying goodbye as well. However, as you waved towards Rarity, you looked back at Fluttershy who was suddenly standing in front of you, looking at you with a frown. “Anon…”
Uhhhh…. What was this about? Your ears fold as you duck your head down into the towels a little, looking at Fluttershy with shimmering eyes. “Is there something wrong, Aunt Fluttershy?”
“Anon… Who were you yelling at, really?” Fluttershy asked, her ears folding back, as she sat down, staring into your eyes for any untruths.
Shit… She knew you were lying.
“U-um… Aunt Fluttershy, it’s… Sorta complicated. I-” But she speaks again, cutting you off.
She spoke in a more worried, yet slightly stern, tone. It seems, in her own soft little way, that she didn’t want to deal with any bullshit. “Anon, I’m your aunt. You can’t keep hiding things from me like this, both you and your father. You can’t lie, Anon, it’s wrong… How am I supposed to believe you about anything when you lie to me?”
Ngh… Dammit. The way she said it, it cut to your very soul. “A-Aunt Fluttershy… If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. I don’t even really believe it…”
Fluttershy seemed confused by those words. “You don’t believe it? Anon, it had to have been something if Rarity caught you screaming in the rain. Just tell me, please. Whatever it is, as long as it’s the truth, I’ll believe you.”
Oh… Good lord, where was fucking Discord when you needed him? He probably could use his magic to coax out whatever the hell that ‘spirit’ really was to prove it exists. How could you tell Fluttershy you saw the Spirit of the Tree of Harmony? How the hell would she believe that when it would be unbelievable to a regular pony fan? “.... Aunt Fluttershy, I…” But when you even showed hesitance, you began to see a tear form under her eyes. Goddammit! “...I was yelling at the Spirit of the Tree of Harmony.”
Fluttershy looked down for a moment, as if she was trying to process your words. But then she looked back at you, and began to sniffle, trying to hold back her tears. “Anon…”
No! Fuck that! You knew where this was going! You were not going to deal with the trope of not being believed because what you saw may be bullshit. You had to be assertive, you had to do fucking something! “Aunt Fluttershy, it's true! Why else would I be yelling in the rain?!” You hopped out from the towel and onto the floor, to try to illustrate the situation with your movements. “I just started hearing the voices of my friends, they were telling me I was a bad pony! Then it showed up disguised as Dad! But it wasn't him! The spirit said…. I…” Your ears folded. What you were about to say was the truth, but you wondered how Fluttershy was going to take it, if she even believed anything you were saying at all. “It told me I was going to cause a huge incident. It told me I created problems for everypony, and that I put my friends in needless danger… And…” You began to tear up. “For some reason I’m scared…” Why did you feel scared? Repeating what the spirit had told you, it made it feel like you could cause some sort of catastrophe on an unintentional whim. But you were above that, above all that! So why? “I don’t…. I think it’s wrong… Aunt Fluttershy…” You look up at her with tear filled eyes, almost feeling you were lying to yourself at this point. "Do you think I’d really do that? I have everything under control, don’t I? I’m too smart for that. I promise not to cause any trouble like I caused with Chrysalis, or the Storm King. But… I helped Chrysalis, right? She’s not evil any more. I…” You said frantically, your words fragmented and unfocused.
You looked down, thinking, could someone really manipulate you into ruining Equestria? “I’m not an idiot. It told me someone could find something through me to control Equestria. But I’d never let anypony touch my horn, and I won’t let anypony control me. I’m not a moron! I’m not! Aunt Fluttershy…” You gulped hard, and began to sob. It was wrong. Wrong. WRONG! You weren’t a fool! And no one will ever control you again. You had control of your own destiny! Why? Because you were smart enough to see through the surface level theatrics of any villain in your path.
Fluttershy was shocked. She had never seen you break down so suddenly and so hard before. As far as she could tell, you were being genuine. But she also didn’t know what to say. The Spirit of the Tree of Harmony? That’s impossible, and even if you had seen it, even if it was really there, it had to be something else, as a being like that would have to be benevolent. She remembered you said it looked like Discord. Could it be a cruel trick played by him? She was hard pressed to believe Discord would do such a thing when in her own personal experience she had seen how angry he gets when you’re hurt, it simply didn’t sound like something he’d do. “Anon… Shhh, I’m here. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. Shhh, here, come to me.” Fluttershy gently lifted you with her own wings and held you close to her chest, letting you sob as she began to gently pet you. “Whatever that was, that wasn’t the spirit, but a big meanie who was just playing a very very mean prank on you. Shhhh, whatever they said, it isn’t true. Anon…” She couldn’t really understand how you felt. She didn’t believe it was the spirit, just some jerk of a unicorn using some kind of illusion spell. She couldn’t think of who’d do such a thing, but she actually felt an anger bubble up inside of her over it. But that wasn’t the reality. Someone, or something, had penetrated your very being. Some otherworldly spirit who may have been foretelling a grim destiny rather than a hypothetical.
You said nothing more. You just hugged onto Fluttershy, just wanting to forget. You promised yourself that no one else would get hurt under your watch. That stupid spirit, it was stupid! Scootaloo wasn’t your fault. And how could you have known Cozy was trying to make friends with the Storm King? Silverstream, it shouldn’t have happened, but you never hesitated in rescuing her. That evil version of you, how could you have predicted Chrysalis would have done that? Yona… It was an accident.
It wasn’t your fault! IT WASN’T!
Fluttershy could feel you shaking. She tried cradling you, nuzzling you, in an attempt to calm you down. She wished Discord had been there before you broke down, as he'd know how to cheer you up. But in truth, he was back at the house, preparing something for your room before he came back. She didn’t want him to see you so distraught. So she did the one last thing she knew she could do for you.
She began to sing.
A lullaby of sorts. She was singing and comforting you. In her mind, it was clear that this heartless pony had shook you to your very core, and had made her little gentlecolt genuinely doubtful of oneself, as well as highly upsetting him. She sung about how ‘great’ you were, about how you were loved by family and friends, that you were to dream happy dreams as the darkness was banished. The usual stuff.
But in that tone? In her soft comforting whispers. Even if it gave you no insight, it made you feel calmer. You were still scared she didn’t believe you. But she believed something did happen, just like you did. God, you were stupid. You were manipulated. And for all you knew, that spirit was the manipulator. Was it even real? Could have it really just been guilt? Well, it didn’t seem to matter any more as Fluttershy cradled you and looked at you with a warming smile. “Anon, how about we go to bed early and you sleep here tonight. I can talk to your father tomorrow about what happened and we can get this all sorted out. How does that sound?”
“Aunt Fluttershy…” Clearly she meant just having Discord trying to cheer you up and forget this happened. How miserable and pathetic you must have looked, defeated even. Today has just been a massive beat down to your very being. The only thing you were glad about was that Fluttershy somewhat took you at your word, that she didn’t think you were lying.
You snuggled into her, closing your eyes. For now, you’d have to take the loss, and be the pathetic little colt you were being for the rest of the night. But this aura of guilt about you, you had to prove this notion of narcissism was false. It’d be easy, right? Just avoid anything evil, and DO NOT get anyone else into danger. If one more friend ended up being in harm’s way, you know for sure the princesses wouldn’t let it slide.
No, one more mistake like that and they'd never let you live it down. Even Twilight wouldn't...
Chrysalis… It couldn’t be her, right?
No, she's not like that anymore.
Right? No! Hell, you could prove to yourself she wasn't
You can prove that.
You yawn, and with your face buried into Fluttershy’s chest, you ask her a daring question. “Aunt Fluttershy… Would you like to see Chrysalis tomorrow?”
“Hmm? Anon?” Fluttershy was, at first, quite astonished you’d ask such a thing. But the truth was, ever since talking to her back when she was imprisoned, she had actually wanted a chance to speak to her proper. To get to know her, and see what you saw in her. Just like her friends saw what she saw in Discord. So, with very little hesitance, she answered with a smile. “Yes, Anon, I’d like that.”
Wut? “S-seriously?”
“Did you think I was going to say no?” Fluttershy giggled as she raised you up a bit to give you a kiss on the forehead. “You worked so hard to reform her. And you’d like to consider her family, right? Well, I can tell you I’ve been in your horseshoes before with your father. So if you’d really like me to see her with you, then of course I’m going to say yes.”
Holy fuck… She didn’t even sound the least bit skittish over it. At first you were going to question her more on it. But you just hugged onto her a little tighter, nuzzling. You actually felt pretty excited over it.
It felt... Nice
Fluttershy just held you, never moving from her spot. Her lullaby had helped soothe you and get your mind sorted. Seriously, fuck that spirit or whatever it was. You’ll show it why you’re goddamned Anon, and you can do anything!
Without realizing it, you had finally fallen asleep in the caress of Fluttershy's care. You kind of wished Luna would show up within your realm of dreams. Either of her own volition or through a nightmare you were having. But you just cruised within a deep slumber. In your sleep, you felt you could suddenly smell a delicious meal being made nearby. You followed it, stepping towards a black void to whatever that tasty treat could be. However, upon approaching what seemed to be pancakes and juice, it suddenly exploded!
“HOLY GAH!” You jumped awake from your sleep and fell on the floor, right onto your face. It seems Fluttershy had placed you on the sofa to rest at one point. That noise, that booming noise. What was that? The sun was barely up, so what the hell!
“Oh my.” You hear Fluttershy as she hovers towards the front door from the kitchen “I wonder who that can be so early in the day. It sounds like it could be Yona. But why would she be here, I wonder?” She didn’t even seem to notice that you fell from the couch. You pop your head out from the blankets that had fallen with you, and look over towards her. Did she say Yona?
“Professor Fluttershy? It Yona! Is Anon home? Or is he home home? Yona need to go over project with Anon before school.” Yona said through the door. Fuck! It was her! The project! THE PROJECT?! OH SHIT!
You just froze in horror as Fluttershy opened the door to let her in. Oh god no, you REAAALLLYYY didn’t need her to hear about it, maybe you can get Yona outside somewhere and-
“Oh, that’s right. You and my little Anon had a project you were doing together, I completely forgot! Why don’t you come in and join us for breakfast? But shhh, don’t be too loud, Anon is… Oh, Anon.” Fluttershy giggled at you. “I don’t normally see you awake so soon. Oh, I bet you’re excited for later today, right?”
Your pupils just shrunk in horror. She invited her for breakfast… Goddammit… “A-absolutely…”
“...So, Yona, I never got a chance to ask, but how are you enjoying friendship school?” Fluttershy asked cheerfully as she poured some syrup for you, onto your pancakes.
You were tense as all hell. Why did Yona have to come so early? Why did Fluttershy have to let her in? Now they were conversing with each other, getting closer and closer to your doom. You could barely even nibble on your pancakes despite the fact it smelled so good, so all you did was very slowly sip your juice.
“Oh, Yona like it very much, Professor Fluttershy. Yona has made lots of friends and learned many new things about friendship Yona can take back home to teach other yaks. Not too much new things, but enough things, because Yaks very good at friendship already.” Yona said pridefully as she scarfed down a pancake in a single bite.
“Good! If there’s one thing that makes me happy, it's to learn that a student is having a wonderful time, learning, and making a lot of friends! I’m actually very glad you’ve made friends with Anon, I always believe he can be happier by having lots of good friends by his side.” Fluttershy said optimistically as she gave your head a pat and sat down to enjoy her own stack of pancakes.
“Yona agree, and Yona glad Yona make friends with Anon. It not only teach Yona not to judge others by look, but also teach Yona that anycreature can be tough, even tougher than yak sometimes.” Yona said, shooting you a wink.
You just smiled awkwardly and looked back at your food, just giving it a blank stare.
“Oh, I’m so glad to hear that. But it isn’t always about being tough, you also have to be very sweet too. And you two, I think, are very sweet. You both have such a big heart and… Anon?” Fluttershy suddenly became worried when she finally noticed how distant you looked. “Anon, are you alright?” She was worried that you were still affected from last night. She was only half right, as you didn’t want that damned project brought up at all.
You look at Fluttershy and force a very cheerful smile. “Oh, sorry Aunt Fluttershy. I’m just not really too hungry right now, I guess it’s from waking up too early. S-sorry… I didn’t mean for you to waste these pancakes on me”
“Oh, hush.” Fluttershy said with a giggle. “If you’re not hungry, then you’re not hungry. Yona, if you want extra pancakes, you can take some of Anon’s. I’ll be happy to make some fresh ones for you, Anon, right before you go to school.” Dammit, Fluttershy… She just… Dammit…
“Oh, Yona gladly accept!” Yona said as she quickly took your plate and added the pancakes to her own. “Yona love Professor Fluttershy’s cooking.”
You didn’t even try to stop her, you just went back to sipping your juice, trying to keep some sort of smile on your face. Fluttershy began to worry more and more, until she felt she realized the problem. “Oh, you must really be worried about that project for Rarity. I know! Why don’t you both gather your notes and let me preview what you have for your presentation so far, then you both can go work on it after breakfast. Oh, I bet everything is going to be perfect already!” Fluttershy said, ecstatic and giddy about hearing what you both had as she pushed her seat back to be able to see the both of you better.
Both you and Yona tensed. For different reasons, but… Why was Yona worried?
Yona looked down, feeling rather ashamed of herself. “Yona didn’t write notes. Project so exciting that Yona just kind of go back to room and, erm, fall asleep.”
“What? Exciting?” Fluttershy looked over at you, concerned about how ‘exciting’ the project was. “Anon… You didn’t use your magic irresponsibly, did you?”
Shit! You just looked away, shaking. This was it, if she knew what happened, if she knew about how things went south with Jimmy…
“Anon did! Anon turn Ponyville into Yakville! It was almost like Yakyakistan but different! I think Anon learn lots of good things about Yaks. He even turned into yak! Right, Anon?” Yona could tell something was wrong, and she didn’t know if you were allowed to use magic or not. So she gave you a wink, hoping to turn things around without realizing why you were so scared.
“I-I did…” It was all you could say, stammering, staring at the table.
“Anon? Anon, it’s alright! Really. And I actually think it’s amazing you used your magic to learn more about yaks. Though…” Fluttershy let out a light hearted giggle. “I don’t really remember being a yak. I must have been so silly. Was I silly, Anon?” But you weren’t answering, and once again, Fluttershy began to become concerned. “A-Anon?”
You began to shake more and more, nearly gasping for air as everything felt heavy around you. At this point, even Yona was becoming concerned. Though, after a moment, Yona realized why you were worried. She began to piece together that if Fluttershy knew exactly what happened, you’d be in trouble. “P-Professor Fluttershy! Yona think Anon not be in trouble! Ahrm, if Yona can speak about what Yona learned, Yona learn Anon’s life is very different from anycreature. It stressful, full of responsibility, and chaos. I think anycreature would go crazy if do what Anon does, but Yona learn that it also make Anon brave and strong, like when Anon saved Silverstream without thinking! Yona even learn that there are real things to be scared of, things scarier than… erm… spiders.”
You felt your mind crack at that, your heart nearly stopped.
“Wow, Yona!” Fluttershy began to clap her hooves together “That sounds so… Wait, ‘real things to be afraid of’? What does that mean? Yona, what happened in the project?” Fluttershy asked, with wary curiosity.
Yona’s eyes widened as she realized her mistake. She began to sweat as she tried to think of something to defuse the situation. “Erm, uhm, er… Not much? Yona just get to see changeling that, erm, lived in Anon’s house? He not so tough, just crazy.”
“Huh? Oh, wait, is that the reason you and Discord have the house back? Anon, you didn’t make a dangerous gamble with that mean ole changeling, did you? I’m glad it worked out, but you should never ever gamble. I-I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if you lost. That’s how your father lost the house in the first place. Anon, I want you to promise me not to gamble like your father, alright? There is always a better and safer way to resolve things.” Fluttershy said. Knowing you were probably still feeling bad from yesterday, she sounded as non-hostile as possible when she said her words, yet she hoped you’d take what she asked of you seriously.
You promise? Promise? Will you? Promise what exactly? You didn’t just gamble some petty shit, you gambled with yours and Yona’s life, and you fucking lost! You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Yona. All this, all this because you were fucking lazy. No wonder the yaks of Yaksville had a problem with you, you were probably a little shit that, like with your horn, you used your strong head to try to solve your problems. Every yak was familial and worked together, protected one another, and wanted each other to succeed. You? You were a little shit!
A little shit…
You could hear Jimmy laughing at you. Even when he was gone, his cruel laughter was loud in your head. That spirit… Dammit, DAMMIT! There’s no way around it. You fucked up, and if you lie, or hide what you did…
DAMMMMMITTTT!
“I CAN’T!” You slammed your hooves onto the table, your tears breaking out heavily, as you began to realize the gravity of your entire set of actions.
Fluttershy recoiled backwards in surprise, as did Yona. Neither of them were expecting this.
“A-Anon? W-what’s wrong? W-whatever it is, whatever happened. I forgive you, I just want you to understand that gambling is wrong.” Fluttershy said with a gulp, unsure on how to approach you. She’s never seen you like this, you suddenly looked like a wreck, your eyes crazed. It was worse than last night, for sure.
“Forgive me? Why? Why do you forgive me?” You whispered. “I did it again, I put Yona and myself in danger for no reason, because I cheaped out on the project by using my magic to make up some scenarios to ‘learn’ about each other, and instead my magic just screwed us over and put us in danger. In real, close to death, danger. I did that, me! The princesses would never forgive me, my friends won’t. Why should they? Aunt Fluttershy, I did the same thing I always did, we nearly got torn apart. All because of me. I didn’t learn anything…” Never before had you felt so pathetic. You weren’t even looking for forgiveness, or affection, none of it. You, in some sense, wanted what you deserved. You couldn’t get it out of your head, everything was your fault. So why? How could Yona just shrug it off like it’s nothing? You look at her, gulping. “Yona, you don’t even look like… Why don’t you hate me?”
Fluttershy and Yona was stunned. Fluttershy was even scared, you looked so awful, so unhinged, she didn’t know what to do.
But Yona looked at you, she stared. You were a friend to her, at least in her eyes. She knew you were kind of a jackass, but she felt, deep inside, you’d give your life to protect anyone you cared about. “Because, Anon, We take on mean changeling together. Yona know Anon not best pony ever, but Anon good where it counts…” Yona points to her heart. “Here. You only one Yona know who goes to fight scariest villains in land to save friends without thinking. Even if you use magic for shortcut, Yona know you learned not to do things like that in Yaksville. And evil changeling thing was accident, Anon not know that would happen.”
“NO!” You angrily hop off your chair and approach Yona, yelling and pointing at her. “That’s not it! If I learned anything, then it won’t matter to me the next day! Why should it?! I'm invincible, I'm above everything! Why does anypony even like me?! I only made friends because I had no choice! The only friends I made on my own was Chrysalis! A villain! A monster! I almost let everypony die because I was being stubborn! I don’t even know what I was trying to prove!” You begin to slow down, crying profusely, as you drop to the floor. “I don’t know how he does it. I don’t know how Discord can do this. I can’t-MN?” You suddenly feel yourself being lifted, as you feel the warmth of Fluttershy’s embrace.
“Anon, shhhh. Please stop! Please! Shhh… You’re not yourself, what you’re saying… It isn’t true.” She said, crying, as she held you as tight as she could.
You couldn’t stop sobbing, you whimpered weakly, whispering. “Why?... Why? It is true… I’m a monster… You can’t forgive me. Why?”
“Because… I know what you’re saying isn’t true. And even if some of it is, it’s only the parts that don’t matter anymore. You have made friends on your own. Did you forget about Starlight? Tempest? Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle? Applebloom? You even managed to have a marefriend all on your own, who I know you cherish dearly. And Chrysalis? Sure, it didn’t always work out, and it even got scary, but in the end you helped an entire kingdom, Anon. And you helped her. How could you be so hard on yourself?” Fluttershy said, as she began to cry harder, holding you and rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down.
“Y-you don’t get it… Didn’t you hear me? I nearly got Yona and me killed. If it wasn’t for Yona…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, you nearly choked up on the thought of how badly you fucked up.
“Yona not upset, Anon. Really, we made good team.” Yona said, frightened of the situation, yet trying to do her best to help calm the situation. She too had never seen you like this, and it was soul crushing to her. She couldn’t recall seeing anycreature so broken up before.
“NO! STOP!” You shouted. “None of you should be forgiving me! Do you think Twilight would?! Celestia?! What I did wasn’t okay! Why don’t you understand that?!”
Fluttershy suddenly froze. In her mind, she was sure Twilight would understand in the end. But something like this? Celestia? Luna? She knew their trust in you had thinned with every major mistake you made. She began to lose faith, until she thought of her own situation with Philomena. No, way beyond that, from Discord being forgiven for his team up with Tirek to Starlight being forgiven for enslaving an entire town and kidnapping you initially. By association, the princesses had forgiven them as well, just as they also forgiven Chrysalis, despite everything she had done. If they can forgive her, who nearly ended Twilight, then surely they could forgive you, especially now that it seemed you fully understood the weight of your actions. “I think they would. If you show them that you understand, and that you’ll never ever do it again, then I’m sure everything will be fine. Just like with your father, with Starlight, and with Chrysalis. Why, I’d even forgive Tirek if he wasn’t willing to be a meanie anymore. And I bet the princesses would too. Think about Princess Luna, Anon. She was feared as Nightmare Moon, and yet, despite all the terrible things she did, she was forgiven and became a better pony. Anon, I’m not mad at you, you don’t need to be scared. I promise nothing bad is going to happen to you. I mean it when I say I forgive you, and I promise the reasons you should be forgiven are good enough.” How could she be upset when you were so hurt? She knew she should be upset, maybe even mad. But she just couldn’t be, not when you were like this, not when it was clear that you understood well enough that you told the truth on your own.
…They really do, don’t they? They fucking forgive everyone. no matter what, it seems they’re always willing to forgive if the one they’re forgiving is willing to change their ways. Yet, knowing that, you felt miserable. It was too easy. You lied to Fluttershy so much before, that she should be skeptical of you, she should distrust you.
Yet she held you just the same, and you began to hug back, hiding in her comfort as you always had. Why did she try so hard? How could she care so much? You knew why, but to feel why, it was indescribable.
But, all in all, it really was too easy. And you knew you didn’t deserve it.
You wanted proper judgment.
It terrified you.
What you were about to do, where you were going to go.
You’ve been on the business end of Luna’s wrath before. And Celestia? You wondered if she’d let you live it down. Whatever fate they might hold for you, it’d be deserved.
You sneak your horn onto your head, and gently pull back to give Fluttershy a tear filled smile. “Thank you, Aunt Fluttershy. I… I have to go now. If I don’t come back, I’m sorry. Tell Dad I’m sorry too.” You told her as your horn began to glow.
“Anon?! No, Anon! What are y-ANON!” Fluttershy shouted as you suddenly blinked away. “Anon! No! Where did you go?!” Fluttershy cried out as she began to look around, hoping you had just warped somewhere nearby.
Yona just stood there, stunned.
And you? You had to know, you had to just tell them, and finally take what you truly deserved.
Well, you were where you wanted to be. Or rather, you didn’t want to be smack dab in the throne room. You wanted to do things right, you wanted to do things the proper way, and you also didn’t want to be looking down at Celestia, the guards, and the floor…
“CRRAAP!” You yelled out as you fell face-first into the ground, from high up within the throne room. The guards were taken aback, and prepared to strike you down as you lifted your face from the floor and groaned. “Yeah… Okay… I deserved that.”
“Guards!” Celestia yelled out as she moved a scroll she was looking at aside, sighing as she shook her head. “Stand down, it’s merely Anon. Are you alright, Anon?”
“Ngh. Y-yeah, I just-” Your eyes went wide as you realized she acknowledged you. You stood up tall, and turned to face her. You were sweating, you were about to face judgment, and yet you felt some fear to it. Either way, you knew what you did was unforgivable this time. You wouldn’t let yourself be forgiven so easily. “Princess Celestia! I, er… I didn’t mean just to pop in, I swear! I meant to wait outside this time! I didn’t want to be a bother.”
Celestia seemed perplexed by your mannerisms and your sudden want to follow procedure. She then began to become a little concerned about the situation. “Anon, normally I’d lecture you on why you shouldn’t teleport in here unannounced. But if you meant to teleport outside the castle, then that meant your magic must have worked from an emotional response. One that meant you needed to see me post haste. Whatever is the matter? Is it Chrysalis?”
You began to feel more tense, your legs were shaking as you forced yourself to stare into her eyes. You began to tear up, you knew she wouldn’t forgive this. So you bowed as your voice became more subdued. “No, your highness. I came to be judged.”
Celestia was really confused now. She began to look around, maybe thinking Discord was ready to spring a trap. But then she saw it, your tears. Whatever this was, she now knew you were serious about something. Something you did wrong. “Judged, you say? Have you done something you knew was wrong, Anon?”
You felt so stiff. You gulped, and did your best to keep on staring as your tears grew. “I-I did. I put another life in danger. I, uh, I also just realized I may have nearly started a war with the yaks. I… Princess Celestia, I really messed up.”
“And you seek to be punished for your actions? I assume this has to do with one of the students of the school, Yona is her name, I believe. You put her life in danger, Anon?” Celestia began to sound more serious, her stare becoming more regal and distant. You honestly couldn’t tell what she was thinking right now.
“I… I did. And I… I have… I have no excuse. Princess Celestia, I know the princesses have a huge problem with me doing things on my own whim. And-” But before you could continue, Celestia raised her hoof to cut you off, and began to speak.
“And you can tell me exactly what you did to put her life in danger, in detail. Our feelings towards you are a moot point, Anon. If you came seeking judgment, then you must explain to me what you have done.” Celestia said, giving you a stoic look.
“Y-yeah, erm… Okay. Look, I…” You were screwing up your words, stammering, all the while she was just staring, waiting. “Okay, so… Let me start at the beginning.”
And so you explained everything to her. The project, Yona, Jimmy, everything. You even went back to how you had put Silverstream in danger because you trusted a chaotic artifact to Cozy Glow. Hell, you even told her how you thought you saw the spirit of the tree of harmony, and how it basically railed you on who you truly are. Your narcissism, arrogance, pride, and laziness had created these issues. As you told her the story, you were falling apart, you were coming to realize that this could be the end, because you just had to be a shitbag. “And… The worst part is, they forgave me. Both Yona and Fluttershy! Just like that! I’ve screwed up too much for that!” You shouted. “I don’t deserve it! So, do it! Do what you want with me! I saw death, Celestia! I saw it on the both of us! Why am I even here?! All I do is ruin everything!” You fell over at your side, you were finally drained, emotionally and physically. “So, whatever, do what you want with me.”
Celestia just sat there. She then calmly used her magic to lift the scroll she was working on, picked up the quill beside it, and silently went back to her work. “You’re forgiven, Anon. You can go now.”
Wut?!
“WHAT?!” You stood up, suddenly enraged as you pointed at her. “You can’t do that! I screwed up big time! I don’t want to be forgiven! I don’t deserve it! I nearly got someone killed! I almost started a war!”
Celestia slowly lowered her scroll, and stared back at you with a slightly coy look. “And if this was so many moons ago, I’d have done away with you just like that. But it isn’t the past, it is the present. You have been forgiven by Fluttershy and Yona, despite what you have done. But it isn’t just that. I can see you have finally learned from such a severe mistake, and show remorse for what you have done. So much so, that’d I hope you finally learned a lesson I have long hoped you’d learn. And before you say it, yes, things would have been different if something egregious had happened to Yona. But that’s how things are.”
You were now utterly bewildered. Eyes wide and twitching. What the fuck just happened?! “Then what?! Why forgive me then?! She still could have been killed! If you were going to punish me for if she was dead, then you should punish me for bringing her close to that!”
“Well, Anon, you should have waited at night to tell my sister your story then. She would have most likely done something. As for me, well, you’d honestly be surprised how many times I’ve forgiven Twilight, and her friends, for rather egregious and dangerous actions that they sometimes, now and again, cause. You’d be surprised how dangerous Twilight can be when she loses her mind and casts a ‘want it, need it’ spell. Or nearly cause one of her friends to become a permanent vampony, or nearly seal up a chaos colt because she thought he was the queen of the changelings. She’s even tried tampering with time once, a big no no, no matter how little time you have to change it. Don’t get me started on Rainbow Dash and some of her pranks. Or should I just mention your ‘father’ and just get this conversation over with?” Celestia asked, giving you a smug but motherly smile. “Maybe if you had lied to me and told me you weren’t forgiven, then I would have done something. But then again, I'd have punished you for lying to me, because I'd know Fluttershy would have forgiven you,”
“But… I… Ah… Er… Th-” But again she cuts you off, as she goes back to writing on the scroll.
“Besides, it didn’t even sound like it was entirely your fault. You had no idea how far Discord’s gambling went, and how much power Jimmy had obtained through it. If anything, I should punish him.” Celestia said, humming a little as she continued to write.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that I tried to cheat a project!” You yelled.
“Yes, and? You don’t think I cheated on any of my tests when I was learning under Starswirl? Or maybe, if you want to go further, I should have never forgiven my sister for nearly destroying Equestria as Nightmare Moon, and then… Maybe she shouldn’t have forgiven me for sealing her on the moon for so long thereafter.” Celestia sighed as she put down the scroll and quill and left her seat, she walked over to you and looked down. You were shivering, your emotions were erratic. So she sat down and used her magic to bring you to her chest as she held you, using her wings to blanket it. “Anon, what I’m trying to tell you is that we all make terrible mistakes sometimes, but that doesn’t make us bad or evil. As I said, one of the things I hoped you’d understand is what your narcissism and arrogance could cause. You sell yourself short, but not only have you done so much for your friends, but you’ve done so much for Equestria as well. You have the title of ‘Hero Colt’ for a reason. And just like what I had hoped and expected for Twilight when I sent her off to Ponyville, I also expect of you too, just like I do for all my little ponies. You’re not Sombra nor Tirek, nor any other villain who refused to be just and good. You are you, and all I ask of you is to improve yourself. So, Anon, you are forgiven, as long as you have learned your lesson.”
You began to shake, you began to sob, and you hugged onto her tightly. You were so fucking scared, you thought it was all over. You didn’t want to get anyone hurt, you didn’t want to be a little shit. You didn’t want to make Fluttershy cry, or get Scootaloo or any of your friends hurt, you never wanted to see Diamond sad, you never… Discord… “Princess Celestia… I… I’m so sorry…”
“Shhh, it’s alright, Anon. It’ll be alright. Why don’t you join me for some tea? I’ve been working tirelessly on noting revisions for my school that I think, personally, that I deserve a small break.” She said with an uplifting giggle, to raise your spirits. “I’d not mind the company.”
“Princess Celestia… Y-you can’t jus-” But it seems she was done with the negativity of the situation, and interrupted you once again.
“I do believe the crown on my head allows me to do what I like, and what I’d like is for you to join me for some tea. If, of course, you want to. I won’t force you, but I won’t have you being sad all day.” Celestia said as she gently pulled you away, still holding you as she used her wing to delicately wipe a tear from your cheek.
“But… It’s. I… Okay, I get it. I…” You had to take a breath to try to compose yourself. “I’m not perfect, but, y’know. I want to be better, but I don’t think Discord could handle me being all good, and yet. I, I dunno… There’s Chrysalis, and yet… I don’t want… Look, I meant what I said and-” You didn’t even know what you were saying. You realized your range of friends were so obtusely diverse in personality that you couldn’t imagine being one way or the other, despite the fact you wanted to be better. But again, with the experience she has, Celestia interrupts you with a chuckle.
“Anon, you are fine the way you are. I wouldn’t ask any of you to change who you are. I’m simply asking for you to be more careful, aware, and be more thoughtful. There’s nothing wrong with a little mischief here and there, if that’s what you were wondering. Trust me, Anon, I may be a princess, but you have no idea how much, every year, I wish for something to go wrong at the Grand Galloping Gala. Nothing dangerous, mind you, just something to shake things up.” Celestia said.
Huh, well, actually, you knew that much. She seemed to always want it to be more fun rather than proper. However, on the other hand… “I mean, I, er, get that. But isn’t that sort of mean to the other guests who want to enjoy the gala as is?”
Celestia had a good giggle at that one. “I never thought I’d hear that coming from you. Look, it may be a little selfish, maybe more than a little, but sometimes I think some of these stuffy and uptight elites could use a little fun and chaos in their lives.” She said with a wink.
“Is that because you’ve been hosting the Gala for like, hundreds of years or something, and you personally got bored with it?” You asked, as you began to calm down and feel… More like yourself.
Celestia pouted at those words. “Now you’re making me out to be the bad mare here. Alright, I admit, maybe it shouldn’t be that way. But, to be fair, I never go looking around to cause trouble, nor do I make any plans for it. Whatever happens happens, and I just go along for the ride. Now, if a certain Hero Colt and his father cause a little mischief, well, I’d think that’s on them. Of course, I’d hope said Hero Colt wouldn’t ruin it for his marefriend in the process. Though, knowing said Hero Colt, I’m sure he’d come up with something that’d make most everypony happy. Oh!” Celestia giggled for a moment. “I think I was having a chat with myself for a moment. I must finally be getting on over the years.”
You just sighed, actually relieved, though keeping in mind that despite the situation having become better, you couldn’t let yourself slip again. “Sure, let’s go with that. So, has anypony ever told any of you that you’re the most forgiving… Anything ever in existence?”
“Given who our friends happen to be, not really, it’s just normal. Again, if you wanted to seek punishment, you should hav-Hm?” Suddenly, a letter appears from a green flame in front of Celestia. She gives it a quick look to see it was rather urgent. “Oh, Anon, give me a moment, there is an important letter from Princess Twilight.”
“Oh, erm, sure.” You just, kind of let yourself nuzzle back into her. She was as warm as the sun, which was fitting, to say the least. “What does it say?”
Celestia’s tone became a little more docile as she let out a tired sigh. “Well, if you want to be punished, I could still write something up to Princess Twilight that doesn’t paint you in a positive light. Anon, did you happen to come here in a rather melodramatic fashion?”
…Shit.
“Erm… Yeah? Sorta…” Ew, shit… You automatically knew what this was about. Fluttershy went to Twilight.
“Mhmmm, well, nopony knows where you are and Fluttershy seems to have went to Twilight fearing the worst. In fact, if I may, five four three two…” And in a flash, right in front of her, Discord appeared in a furious rage, with flaming eyes and wings.
“I knew it! Princess Celestia, you’ve gone too far this time!” Growled Discord as he pointed at her angrily. “To think, you, of all ponies, would just send one of my best friends to the deepest pits of Tartarus after I resolved the situation personally! For what could have been potentially but mostly not my fault?! Do you have any last words before I show you the true power of chaos?!”
“Yes.” Princess Celestia calmly held you up like a cat with her magic, presenting you to him. “Anon is right here, Discord, safe and sound and without punishment. He’s been forgiven. So, I can only assume you were told about this and you left in a rather melodramatic fashion.”
Discord’s flames fizzled out as he recoiled back and rubbed the back of his head with an embarrassed smile. “Of course not! I was just in a hurry, that’s all. Those flames? My eyes and wings just caught fire due to friction. Wow, these accusations, it’s almost like you ponies don’t run at blazing speed with your faces on the ground.”
Suddenly, another letter appeared in front of Celestia. As she read, she smirked as her eyes went towards Discord. “Is that why Twilight is warning me about you coming after me?”
Discord groaned. “Misconceptions! Misconceptions all around!” He yelled, waving his arms about. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…” He just plucked you off the ground like a bag and waved towards Celestia. “I have a yellow pegasus to calm down. To think, Celestia, you’d try to bog me down and make everypony worry by throwing accusations around. And then Twilight?! Tsk, tsk, you princesses should be ashamed of yourselves.”
“I’m thoroughly ashamed, Discord” Celestia said sarcastically as she gave you a wink. “And you owe me some tea time, Anon.”
“Y-yeah, erm. I’ll, uh, get to that eventually. Erm, um, Bye Princess. And thank-” But you wouldn’t be able to finish your words as Discord, embarrassed, teleports off before he could feel any more ridicule on himself.
In a flash, Discord had used his teleportation to warp into Twilight’s office back at the school. From your guess, it was probably where Fluttershy ran off to at one point after your disappearance. Discord also had placed you in a baby basket, complete with you wearing a bonnet and having a pacifier in your mouth. He just gently placed it on the desk and presented it as if everything was fine. “Greetings, everypony! Fluttershy especially. I have returned with Anon, safe and sound, and without any reason to worry about whatever you may have been worrying about. As I said, being his father, I would be able to-” But Discord stops mid sentence when he actually notices no one he was actually wanting to speak to was in the room. The only one who was waiting was… Cozy Glow? “Excuse me, Twilight, but when did you turn into a filly with actual taste in mane fashion?”
Cozy Glow giggled at that and shook her head. “Golly, I’m not Headmare Twilight at all. My name is Cozy Glow! It is very nice to meet you Mister Discord!” She said as she waved towards him.
“Yes, well, normally I appreciate being doted upon, but I actually need to know where Fluttershy is. You wouldn’t know where she went off to, would you?” Discord asked, while you spat out your stupid pacifier to address why Cozy was even here.
“Cozy? What are you doing here?” You asked, confused by her presence.
“Erm, um; Well, to answer Mister Discord’s question, she’s at Princess Headmare Twilight’s castle! And to answer your question, Counselor Starlight asked me to stay here to wait for you two when I suggested it to her. She said something about everypony being ‘melodramatic’ and said she’d wait at the castle too in case you both showed up there first. Golly, I only heard a little about what happened and it didn’t sound good at all.” Cozy said as she began to frown. “I hope nopony is in trouble.”
Ugh, looks like Starlight was able to figure out how ridiculous the situation became and tried to come up with a way to calm things down. She was probably already explaining to everyone else that it wasn’t as big a deal as it seemed. At least you hoped she knew you enough to do all that. “I… Don’t think anypony is, Cozy. I think everything is going to be fine, if a little emotional. Oh, uh, Dad, this is one of my friends from school, Cozy Glow. She’s sort of my biggest fan and is pretty a-ok about chaos.”
“Well, a pony who appreciates the workings of all things un-non-anti-mundane is already automatically alright in my book. However, I’d rather not waste time here if Fluttershy is elsewhere.” Discord said, a little smile on his face as he spoke, he also felt a little pride for meeting a pony who appreciates chaos, but he really was dead set on meeting with Fluttershy and was preparing to snap his paws.
“Wait!” Cozy suddenly called out, holding her hoof up to stop you two.
Was there something else she needed to tell us? “What’s wrong, Cozy? I don’t want to seem rude or anything, but Dad is right, we kinda gotta go.”
“Erm… Well.. It’s just that…” She sighed as her ears folded, and she looked at the both of you with big sad eyes. “It’s just that, now that I got to meet your father, I oh so very much had wanted to ask him a question. I know I’m not supposed to feel bad about the Storm King, but it’s just… Maybe there was some way I could have helped him. My whittle heart hurts just thinking about it.”
This again? Ngh, don’t be rude, Anon. Okay, just humor her, remember, you’re bettering yourself. Remember, she’s very innocent and naive, and dammit, she’s just too nice. Whatever annoyance you did have was overwhelmed by just wanting to get a smile back on her face. “Oh, er, sure! Dad, c’mon, you’d take a question from a little pony who likes chaos, wouldn’t you?”
Discord crossed his arms for a moment as he murmured to himself, then sighed. “Alright, alright, I’ll take one question. And I’ll do it free of charge, considering even I must appreciate a small little filly seeking guidance from the greatest being in Equestria. Go ahead, ask your question.”
“Well, erm, it’s about the staff. I know it was dangerous, but golly, he weally weally WEALLY wanted it. I think, maybe, that he just wasn’t thinking because of what the staff did to him, and that maybe having it back would have maybe also calmed him down, like I do when I have my Anon puppet! But I know the staff was very dangerous to touch too, so I wouldn't have known how to do that. I asked my friend, Winter Krumb, about it once. But, um, he didn’t seem to know much at all about the staff. He said maybe using something safer and made of chaos would have made it safe to touch, but he didn’t seem too sure on even that, and he didn’t even want me to think about it. But, erm, was there any other way to have safely given him his staff back?” Cozy asked as she curled her tail around herself, rubbing on it as she seemed so timid to be even asking such a thing.
She really thought she could fix him, even now. Though, given the question, you were glad she never found the staff. She would have for sure tried to find a way to give it to him the moment she found it. So, not wanting to scold or lecture her, you just let Discord answer.
“Ah, well, I can assure you giving that ninny the staff in any capacity wouldn’t have helped your friendship with him. Though, I also have to give this other friend of yours his due, as one can use an item made of chaos, like a tool or gloves, to move something as dangerous as that without repercussion. Another way would be to simply filter the magic through something else that can handle the chaos within. Take Anon’s horn, it filters my own magic to allow him use of it on his own accord. Granted, Anon has quite a bit of chaotic resistance in his body that allows him to cast whatever he likes without a change to his being, as the chaos magic still has to come through the user of said horn to even be cast. For anypony else, using the horn for prolonged periods of time would have an effect on them eventually. Now, putting the horn on the staff would cause it to filter through the staff instead, which means anypony would be able to touch the thing without being affected at all. Now, is that expository enough for you? I’d hope it is, as I merely expect some praise in return. Go on, tell me how thankful you are.” Discord said, looking pretty proud of himself as he awaited Cozy’s praises.
“Wow!” Exclaimed Cozy “I really wish I knew that before! Thank you, Mister Discord, you’re the bestest draconeequsqus ever!”
“Of course I am, that’s probably why you said ‘qus’ twice. I’m simply twice as amazing as the second most amazing thing in Equestria.” Discord proudly said, straightening his neck fur like it was a shirt collar.
“Cozy…” Okay, you actually did have to step in here, because she had to understand the whole Storm King thing was over. “Look, don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but just like Dad said, and what I've been telling you, there was no helping him, okay? Your friend was right, you shouldn’t think about the staff either. I know you wanted to help him like I did Chrysalis, but he was truly evil. There was no good in him at all. Cozy, please, please, please, just forget about the staff and him, okay? For me? You have lots of good friends here at school, and you sound like you have a good friend with Winter. So please, I don’t want to hear about this any more, alright?”
Cozy just paused, she just stared at you, she didn’t have a single emotional expression on her face as she did so. It was almost unsettling. But then she smiled, and nodded to you. “Okay! You’re right! I do have a lot of friends here, and in Winter. But golly, Anon, I think it’d be so so nice to just have everypony be my friend and to never ever fight with each other ever again! Don’t you think that’d be nice?”
Something in you almost found that concerning. But why? You almost wanted to ask her ‘in what context?’. “Yeah, Cozy, it’d be nice. But, uh, just focus on the friends you have right now, okay?”
“Oh, no worries there, Professor! I’ve been focusing very very very hard on that! I just wanted to know what I could have done to maybe help the Storm King too! But I see I just couldn’t, and while that makes me sad, I know I can’t just let myself be too sad about it.” Cozy said with renewed enthusiasm as she hopped off the seat and went towards the door to the hallway. “Well, I better get going then. I have to write my friend a new letter telling him not to worry about me and the staff. Gee, I hope it reaches him quickly, I don’t want him to be scared that I’d go looking for it or anything.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Take care, Cozy, and remember what I said.” You tell her.
Cozy nodded. “I will! Goodbye Mister Discord, and Professor Anon! I hope you two have a fantabulous day!” She said with a giggle as she left.
Discord waved, but as she left, he turned back to you with a suspicious stare. “Anon, didn’t something strike you as odd about that entire encounter?”
Shit, did he actually get that sudden uneasy feeling too? “Sorta, what do you mean?”
“I mean she didn’t even say anything about how cute you looked in that basket! How am I supposed to help settle Fluttershy’s nerves when even a tiny filly like that doesn’t find you cute? Anon, I’m really ashamed of you right now, I went through all that trouble to make sure you were the cutest colt imaginable and somehow you took that and flushed it down the drain.” Discord said as he picked up the pacifier and began to brush it off with his tail.
“Are you serious?! Cozy already said that Starlight wasMPH!” And before you could finish your sentence, Discord plops the pacifier back in your mouth as he readied his talons for a snap.
”Hush! We already wasted enough time here and I won’t keep her waiting.” Discord said. But before he could snap, you spat the pacifier out of your mouth and began shouting at him.
“What the hell, man?! Why are you treating me like this?! You were about to kill Celestia a few minutes ago!” You shouted angrily at him.
“One, I wasn’t going to hurt anypony, I was just going to do my thing, but to a certain extreme past infinite. Two, I was also more than worried, Anon. I lost my temper, my composure, my wallet, and my sense of reason fearing the worst. Okay, maybe I never actually had that last one, and I still have my wallet right here in my pocket, but you get the point. Anon…” Discord looked at you with caring and soft eyes, he began to speak more seriously and emotionally about it. “I really don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.”
You just raise an eyebrow at him, skeptical. Not on his feelings, but about his current emotional state. “And now comes the part where you slam the thing back into my mouth and force me to play along?”
“Ye-, I mean no!” Discord retracted as he plucked you out of the basket, removing your bonnet as he cleaned up your mane a bit with a brush of his tail. “Silly Anon. I just don’t know what’s going on with everypony today, thinking they can predict what I’m going to do when that’s simply impossible. So, no, I’m not going to degrade you further because I think Fluttershy seeing you that way would make her smile. No, we go as partners, and I’m sure the results will be the same.”
Hah! You got him this time! Although, he kinda wasn’t wrong, Fluttershy probably would have found you adorable laying in the basket… All calm, and not screaming about judgment and punishment. “Er, y’know? Actually… How about we compromise?” If anything, Discord was more than right. If Discord showed he was calm and collected, and you were presented in a manner she’d find precious, then it would warm her heart really quick and help her not worry. “I’ll do the whole basket thing, just no bonnet or pacifier or any baby crap, okay? I wanna help Fluttershy too, you know? I just hope Starlight calmed down everypony else.”
“Hmmm…” Discord calmly picked you up and gently put you back in the basket, tucking you in the blanket. “I actually hope so as well, Twilight can be such a nag when she’s lost her mind. Ah well, she can’t really say anything if I haven’t done anything to Celestia, now can she?” Discord said as he gave you a gentle pat on the head. “Thank you, Anon, for at least doing this much. I really do think it’ll mean a lot to her.”
“I know, and I think so too. So, y’know, come on already. You don’t want to keep her waiting, do you?” You said with a smug yet light hearted chuckle.
“No, no I do not.” Discord said, as he finally snapped his talons, warping you both to the castle.
Just like before, Discord appears in a flash of light within the cutie map room of the castle. He was garbed in a fancy suit, top hat, and monocle over his right eye this time, wearing gloves as he set the basket with you in it gently on the map. “Ah, yes, Starlight, yes, hmmm, and Twilight too? Yes, quite, certainly. Wait…” Discord looks ahead to see that Twilight’s seat had neither Starlight nor Twilight sitting upon it. “Great, I wasted a good suit for nothing. How am I supposed to seem above such pitiful emotions such as ‘anger’ when I…” Discord suddenly winced when his gaze came upon Fluttershy’s seat, where Fluttershy herself was sitting, her cheeks full of tears, as she stared back at him. Had she been waiting there the entire time? Alone? “F-Fluttershy…” Discord suddenly humbled himself as his garb turned into oddly shaped soap bubbles and began to float off. “Ahrm, well, I… I’m glad to see you here.” He said, trying to regain his confidence. “Now, I can already tell what you’re thinking, and you’re wondering about Anon, right?”
“I-I’m…” Fluttershy gulped, and sniffed as her tears began to run again. “I was scared for the both of you. D-Discord, I thought… I thought you wouldn’t calm down…”
Discord wasn’t being flippant or simply shrugging off her words, he really did take her seriously, or as seriously as he could. He created a seat for himself to sit on, with a marking of chaos, and began to speak to her in a subdued manner. “I.. Erm, well, I suppose I did get a bit heated back there, thinking something was going to happen to Anon.” He said with a nervous chuckle, he then reached over to the basket and gave it a knock. “But I can assure you, Celestia and I came to an understanding within seconds. That’s why Anon is here, safe and sound.”
That was your cue. You slowly lifted your head out of the basket, and looked towards Fluttershy. Dammit, she was obviously a wreck. This really was all your fault. You shouldn’t have reacted so damn hard. Your ears folded as you stared back at her, you felt ashamed of yourself for doing this to her. “A-aunt Fluttershy… I… I’m sorry…”
Fluttershy had to wipe a tear, and she nearly smiled at not only the adorable and obvious display to cheer her up with cuteness, but also the fact you were safe and sound. But she was too worried still, even as she looked back at you. She slowly walked around the map until she stood next to Discord’s seat, her eyes never leaving yours. “Anon… I’m… I’m so happy nothing happened to you. Why? Why would you…” She couldn’t complete her sentence, even thinking about it shook her to her core.
“Wait, Aunt Fluttershy, don’t cry!” You hopped out of the basket and ran towards her, your eyes flooding with tears as you jumped into her and hugged her as tightly as you could. “I just… I’m sorry! I am! I didn’t mean to worry anypony! I thought… I felt I didn’t deserve forgiveness. I put Yona in danger, and I didn’t even think about what I was doing that caused it! I just… I didn’t understand how anypony could forgive that.”
“Fluttershy.” Discord said, with caution in his voice. “I…” Discord, as if having some introspective on the whole thing, stood up from his seat and hunched himself over in shame. “Anon, Fluttershy, I’m afraid I am the one at fault here. I let my whims get the best of me. Frankly, I didn’t even think Jimmy was that dangerous. I… Well, I have to admit that perhaps it was I who deserved punishment. I shouldn’t have kept somepony like him around when he posed such a risk of danger.”
“Discord…” Fluttershy looked up at him, and shook her head. “I don’t want anypony to feel at fault, I want you both to learn. Especially you, Discord. You’re a father, you need to be more responsible, and set a better example for Anon. I-I know that may be difficult sometimes, but I know you, I know you can use chaos to teach and guide Anon as good as any other father in Equestria.” She wouldn’t stop hugging and holding you as she tried to calm herself down, and not let herself break down. “Discord… I know you can do it”
“Well, erm…” Discord began to speak as he nervously reached over to rub the back of his head. “I… Suppose I’m well on my way on that. I did manage to instantly calm myself before arr- Well, upon meeting Celestia. As a mostly responsible father, I knew it wouldn’t be right to display such rage in front of Anon.” He said, looking at her and letting out a weak chuckle. “Look, I’ll be honest, and it does hurt to say that. But it also hurts to see you like this, knowing you’re emotionally wounded. I want to do better as well...”
“Aunt Fluttershy, Dad’s right. I… My talk with Princess Celestia, she told me about how much others were forgiven, and that I need to better myself. I know I do, I need to stop being so reckless and dumb, being so cocky. I… I didn’t realize how irresponsible I really was until now. I didn’t even realize how my actions could set a bad example for ponies who look up to me. I took my powers for granted, powers that I know were bestowed to me to cause chaos, but not this kind of chaos. I promise to do better, I uhm… I cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye”
“Anon…” Fluttershy held you up with her wings, and did her best to smile. “That’s… That’s all I wish for you, to be good, and kind, and not hurt others. To learn and grow. I’m so so glad Princess Celestia could see that in you, and gave you another chance. Anon…” Her smile began to fade, as her stare became a little more intense. “I… I… Please promise me something else, to not only do better, but to also take this more seriously. I never ever want to hear about something like this again.” She then looked to Discord. “Discord… You too… Please.”
You looked up to Discord, who looked down at you and held out a cupcake. “Well… I suppose we should show her how serious we are. From the top, Anon.”
And with that, both you and Discord made a Pinkie Promise, which really puts you down for two. You would never, and can never allow something like this to happen again. At this point, the three of you were slowly coming out of this emotional funk.
“Welp, that went a lot better than I could have hoped for.” Said a voice coming from the doors of the entrance hall.
Discord was the first to look over, and of course, he immediately got annoyed. “Ah, the Twi-lite. Excuse me, but we’re having a moment.”
“Discord!” Fluttershy snapped. “What did you just promise!?”
“Agh! I… Mnngh.” Discord hunched over, and weakly waved towards Starlight. “Greetings, Starlight. It is good to see you.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Starlight said, as she looked unusually nervous. “Look, I know you guys are having a moment and all. But, uh, something didn’t quite go according to plan and I need to borrow Anon for a teeny tiny bit. D-don’t worry, we won’t be going far, I just need him.”
“Starlight?” Fluttershy gently put you down, giving you a gentle pat before turning over to her. “What’s wrong? Whatever it is, can’t it wait?”
“Um, er, no.” Starlight seemed to be growing increasingly nervous as time went on. “This is kind of important in a way only Anon can handle.”
“‘In a way only Anon can handle’ she says, puh.” Discord said dismissively. “Allow me to take care of it then. That way I can prove that I can show what a good example is like.”
“Ngh, look, nopony but Anon can deal with this right now. I promise it won’t take too long. I know the situation is really super serious and I told you to wait here for Anon and Discord in the first place. But trust me, I really REALLY need him right now.” Starlight looked like she was about to break into a sweat. “I promise, I really promise, he’ll be right back. Please.”
What the hell could it be that had to interrupt a moment like this? You sighed, and looked at Fluttershy and Discord. “Aunt Fluttershy, Dad? Look, if Starlight says it’s gonna be fast, then I’ll be fast. It’s no sweat, and whatever this is, I need to fix it.”
“Anon…” Fluttershy gave you a gentle hug again, and looked back at Starlight with a more serious look. “Starlight, p-please, bring him back soon.”
“Ugh, I suppose I’ll go along with this too. Just remember, ‘father’s wrath’ and all that” Discord said, giving her a quick but very not-subtle death glare.
“Er, right. Trust me, super quick.” Starlight quickly nabbed you with her magic and rushed back through the doors with you. Once she closed them, she gently placed you down, sighed, and gave you a sterner stare. “Anon… You’re so so lucky that I like you, because it is amazing the kind of patience it takes to deal with some of your problems.”
Okay, that was suddenly kind of rude. But what the hell was she even talking about? What did you do? “What, is it Twilight?”
“Uh, no, she’s probably still flying towards Canterlot thinking Discord turned Princess Celestia into a flyder, or something like that. No, this has to do with the fact that Yona told your other school friends what happened, and well, now you have a very certain one out there, demanding to see you, or else she’ll tell everypony your real secrets. I tried talking her down, but it’s kinda hard when she sorta kinda has a point about… Well, a lot of things about you.” Starlight said as you both walked down the entrance hall to the front door of the castle.
Ocellus…
“Yeah, I think I know who you’re talking about. And…” You couldn’t even fathom what she was thinking, you just knew that, most likely, she actually had enough of your shit. You had to wonder if the crusaders knew, Lyra and Bon Bon, or even Diamond. Dammit… “Yeah, okay, I’ll… I’ll handle it.”
“Are you sure about that? You don’t sound too sure. I can’t help you with this, Anon, this is all you. The best I can do is go back out there and try to calm her down… Somehow. I swear, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ocellus angry, ever.” Starlight said with concern in her voice.
“I’m sure.” You nodded, trying to gather your thoughts. You wondered what she was thinking, how angry she was, how vengeful even. Yona forgave you, but Ocellus clearly didn’t. It came to you what it could be about. Silverstream she let slide, but Yona? No, she couldn’t let it slide twice, could she?
“Alright, well… If you’re sure, then good luck, Anon.” Starlight said as she stood by the front door.
“Yeah, thanks. Uh, Starlight, before I step out. Um, what do you think about the situation? Just tell me real quick, please.” You asked, looking at her with a solemn melancholy.
“Short answer? Everypony is seriously being melodramatic. Also? Whatever it is Princess Celestia told you, I would have been harsher about it, because I know I’ve told you to be careful. But then I remember I nearly got us both blown up and I realized I pretty much did the same thing by not listening to Sunburst. And as I also understand it, it was kind of Discord’s fault too. So, just this one time, I’m only going to be a little mad at you and forgive you like everypony else. Also, you’re lucky Yona forgave you or this entire situation probably would have been a lot worse. Also also, we gotta talk about that spirit thing when this is over, because that irks me. Okay?” Starlight explained in a way that wasn’t a short answer at all.
“O-okay then, erm, uh… Okay, I-I… Okay… I’m stepping out now.” You said with an awkward nod, stepping outside the castle. You could already see Ocellus, her eyes glistening from tears, yet full of anger, as she stood at the bottom of the steps to the doors. “Ocellus…”
“Anon… How could you?” She said, trying to maintain her composure.
“I’m not even going to argue with you, Ocellus. Because whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably right,” You said with a mournful sigh. “I screwed up really bad.”
“You did. You did, and nearly got one of our friends hurt, again. I-I tried, Anon. I tried to understand you, I was even thinking maybe Chrysalis deserves another chance. I wanted to believe in the words you told me. That you changed.” She began to leak tears, as she shook her head. “But of course, I was wrong. You… You don’t care who you hurt, you really don’t. You misuse your power, just like she did. The only difference is everypony forgives you because they think you’re a colt. Professor Fluttershy thinks you’re a human colt, but you’re not. I’m going to tell her, that way you understand that we’re not toys to you! Lying and cheating your way through your new life, without caring about the real creatures of Equestria! Our former captain, Anon… How could you even let him stay around when it was clear he was so dangerous? Why?”
…
…
“Because, Ocellus, I’m an asshole. Maybe you don’t know what that means. But I think you do. I took my powers for granted, I thought I was pretty much invincible as I got stronger and got more charges on my horn. I could give you an excuse and say Discord is at fault too for giving your old captain so much power in the first place, but it was still my fault Yona got hurt. And I'm sorry about all of it.” You sighed, knowing how much you fucked up. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
Ocellus sniffed, and wiped her eyes as her wings randomly flittered, she was clearly getting more upset as the conversation went on. “I hope you don’t expect me to feel sorry for you. I… I won’t. I can’t. I need to put an end to this, I need to tell her.”
…So, this is how it actually ends, huh? Discord, you knew this would affect him too. Fluttershy, she’d be more than devastated, especially when she’d find out who also knew your secret. Something like this…
Diamond, the CMC, everyone really… The ripple effect would shred friendships apart.
It shouldn’t have even gone on for so long in the first place.
It was the one lie you had to ride out to the end…
Well, this was the end.
You looked at your horn, grabbed it, and threw on the ground next to Ocellus as you stepped aside.
Ocellus looked down at it, she suddenly became confused by your actions. “W-what are you doing?”
“You’re right, Ocellus. I fucked up, I risked Yona’s life due to my selfishness. So go ahead, do what you need to do. I’m not going to stop you.” You said, as you began to shiver. Even if you accepted your fate, it terrified you. This was it, this was the end.
“You don’t think I’ll…” But Ocellus stopped herself, as she could sense it, true and utter fear emanating from your very soul, and the love for the friends and family you were about to lose. “Ngh, I… I… I know what you’re doing. I know you can manipulate your feelings!”
…
You just start to walk away.
“W-where are you going?” Ocellus asked, even more confused.
“It’s over, Ocellus, I know it is. I’m just gonna wander the forest. Nopony is going to care about me once you tell them.” You said, not even stopping your stride.
Ocellus just stared on, then looked to the ground, to your horn. Unbeknownst to you, Starlight had tried to stop her by telling her what could happen once she told everyone your secret. She didn’t listen before, she didn’t care. But your overwhelming emotions, along with the ones she felt from Starlight, adding on to the fact that you threw down the only thing that could stop her. She began to think, about the lie, about what the truth could mean. In one sense, she felt telling the truth was the right thing. Yet, in an instance like this, would it not? Fluttershy would never trust Discord again, and she knew Starlight and Twilight and even the princesses knew, so what would that cause when some of their friends find out what they knew.
She suddenly froze, and realized how vengeful she was being. That if she went through with this, she’d be no better…
Than her.
Ocellus began to sob, standing there. She looked back down at the horn, and picked it up. She stared at it, stared at you as you walked away without ever looking back. She hated it, she hated herself for thinking such a dark thought. But what else could she think? She felt you couldn’t change, or maybe you refused to. And yet, those feelings, she wondered if you finally realized your wrongs.
Even then, even as she thought maybe there was a good reason to tell, it was outweighed by all the negative outcomes.
It wasn’t in her, she couldn’t do that to everyone. No matter how justified she felt, she didn’t really want to hurt anyone. She had thought about it even further, how she snuck off like that to tell Fluttershy in the first place. She had told Yona she’d try to forgive you when Yona had explained to her what happened. But her anger, something she seldomly felt unless she was around you, had gotten the better of her.
And she hated it.
Ocellus made her decision, and yelled out towards you. “Anon! Anon, wait! Please don’t go! I don’t want you to go! Please!” She then opened her wings, and zipped towards you.
When you turned around, it didn’t take her long to hug onto you. You were astonished, really, you really weren’t expecting her to forgive you like that. “O-Ocellus?”
“Don’t leave! Please! I don’t want to lose any friends, not one! Anon… I almost did it… I almost did something she’d do… I don’t want to.” She cried as she hugged tightly onto you. "It's too frightening to think about."
Ocellus…
God, you’re terrible. You made her cry. And she even gave you the chance you don’t deserve. Celestia was right, everyone is too forgiving. And… That’s alright… Because it gives you a chance to work towards changing for the better.
You hug her back as gently as you could. “Shh, nah. You were just angry, that’s all. Look, I know I said Chrysalis is reformed, and I still believe that. But you’re not like her. And I mean that in a good way. Gonna tell you right now, if she was in your position right now, she probably would have just told Fluttershy. You, Ocellus… You got a way better heart than me and Chrysalis combined.”
“Anon… I… Don’t say that. I still almost did it.” She whined, tears still pouring from her eyes.
“And you know what? Like I said, I would have deserved it. I screwed up, Ocellus. And, well, the best I can do is beg you for one last chance. To prove I have finally learned from this. Please, will you give me that chance?” You asked, feeling tense, feeling remorse for what you’ve done to her.
“I-I think I can… Councilor Starlight even thinks you deserve one, and the princesses, and Yona… I can too. But, Anon, please. We’re your friends, you have to stop using us like whenever you need something. I want to believe that, deep inside, you have just as good a heart as Professor Fluttershy says you have. Please, treat your friends as friends. I… I don’t ever want to feel like this again, I… I never want to feel hate again.” Ocellus said, shivering against you.
“Yeah… Hey, I mean, do you know what a Pinkie Promise is” You asked, trying to lighten up the mood a little.
“Um, yes? Is that why you already have some cream around your eye?” Ocellus asked.
“Um, yeah, I kinda made a couple already about this with Discord. But hey, what’s one more, right? Okay! So, cross my heart, and hope to fly! Stick a cupcake in myAGGGGGGGGH!” In your enthusiasm to cheer Ocellus up, you accidentally stick your hoof into your eye a little too hard and fall over, screaming in pain.
“Anon?! Anon, why did you do that!?” Ocellus said, gasping in fright.
“I don’t know! I forgot how huge our eyes are! OUR HOOVES ARE SMALLER THAN OUR EYES! AGH!” You screamed, rolling around in pain.
“Ah! D-don’t worry, I can help! I can just… I think…!” Ocellus, horn still on her, places it on her head and immediately and accidentally casts the first thing on her mind. “Tear drops! I hope that works!”
You did your best to calm down, not even knowing what she was talking about. When you managed to force your now reddened eye open, you saw straight above you something horrifying. “Oh shit…”
A giant fist shaped tear dropped from the sky, literally punching you in the face and splattering onto the ground as it quickly dissipated. The blow was so strong that it actually left you dazed and with a black eye.
Ocellus, in shock, shouted in fright. “Anon! Are you okay!? I didn’t mean to do that!”
That fist… If you had to guess, that spell she cast was literally her venting the final remnants of her rage into one watery punch, all without realizing it. Chaos be a cruel mistress indeed.
You just raised your right forehoof straight in the air, and smiled, still dizzy.
“I… I don’t know what that means.” Ocellus said.
You stared at your hoof for a moment, then chuckled madly. “Oh right, I don’t have thumbs. Night night.” You said as you passed out.
You didn’t know if you were asleep or awake. There was a bright light over you, the sound of beeping invading your ears.
“Nurse, towels.” Said a voice, it sounded familiar. But, was it a doctor? You couldn’t tell.
“Towels!” Shouted a soft, very soft, familiar voice. What?
“Alright, these will be useful to place right here, around this hot plate of muffins. Hmmm, hmmm, alright. Now, nurse, chisel, if you don’t mind.” The voice was becoming more familiar. What kind of doctor asks for a chisel?
“Discord! You don’t think that’s going to scare him?! You said him waking up to this would make him smile. How is a chisel supposed to do that?!” Shouted the soft voice… Fluttershy?
“Ahrm, erm, well, what I actually meant is that it helps me smile and… Hmmm… Alright, alright, hand me the sponge.” Said the posh voice.
“That’s better. But, he isn’t waking up, are you sure we shouldn’t have sent him to a real hospital? Y-you said this was nothing to worry about.” Said the soft voice, which had to be Fluttershy as it was filled with worry.
“A hospital? Nonsense. All we have to do is absorb the blackness of the eye through the sponge like ink, like so, and then…” Suddenly, Discord’s voice came booming like it was from a megaphone. “ANON! RISE AND SHINE!”
“FASSDFDHSGFDHGF” You jumped out of the hospital bed in fright as you found yourself grasping onto the first thing you could, which was Discord’s face.
Discord chuckled, plucked your shaking form from his face, and presented you to Fluttershy, who was garbed in pink scrubs and a face mask. “And as you can see, the operation was a rousing success. Please, hold your applause and-” But Discord is interrupted as Fluttershy steals you away from him and snuggles you softly, surprising him.
“Anon! My poor Anon! I was so worried, I didn’t know if you were ever going to wake up! Discord! That was very cruel! Apologize, right now!” Fluttershy demanded.
"But he's been through wo-..." Discord almost looked like he was about to protest, but he easily relented and sighed. “I apologize, Anon. I suppose I should have been a little more delicate. But in my defense, I wasn’t the one who gave him the black eye in the first place.”
“It doesn’t matter, Discord. He’s shaking! Oh, Anon, are you okay? Say something!” Fluttershy begged as she cradled you.
“Da-Ah…” Relax, Anon, you’re in Fluttershy’s presence. And all in all, you knew at this point that Discord never means any harm. But were you really at the hospital? Again? Geez… “I’m fine. Aunt Fluttershy, I’m alright. But what happened? Where am I? Why are you in scrubs?” You could see nothing beyond the bed you were on, as everything was covered in curtains.
“I was helping your father clear up that nasty black eye and bring you back to health after Ocellus accidentally knocked you out. Oh, Anon, I was so worried. I don’t know why, but it is scary to know you always get hurt, even when it isn’t your fault.” Fluttershy said in a small whine as she gave you another hug.
Wut? Ugh, you remember now. Ocellus, she used your horn. She summoned a giant tear drop that slugged you in the face. “I-it’s fine. U-uhm, so where are we exactly? What happened to Ocellus?”
“I’m here!” Said Ocellus from behind the curtains. “Anon! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! I didn’t know that was going to happen! I’ve seen you use the horn so many times before, I thought it was easy to use!”
“Hmph, 'easy to use'. Chaos, my dear, is not something you can simply ‘use’. Unlike harmony, chaos is a force of nature that can’t be controlled by the likes of you. Just ask Starlight, she can tell you.” Discord scoffed as he snapped away his own scrubs.
“Oh, right, I remember. How’s that working out for you, Discord? Because that was so totally my fault, right? Never mind the fact that you just so happened to appear right when your clone was about to-” But before Starlight could finish her sarcastic and revealing remark from behind the curtain, Discord hurriedly shushed her.
“Alright! Alright! Fine, I was wrong. Starlight gets it, I suppose. Ahrm, anyway, as you can see, Anon is quite alright. Isn’t that right, Anon?” Discord asked as he gave you a gentle pat.
“Uh, yeah… I am, really. Thanks, everypony. Uh…” Shit, that’s right, you also remembered Ocellus's rage. Did she tell your secret? No, you remember her apologizing. And she still was. “Right, uh, Ocellus? Um, yeah, don’t worry about the whole eye thing. I think I deserved it? We’re cool, right?”
“Anon!” Ocellus shouted apologetically. “You didn’t deserve that! I had no right to be so angr-” But then, all of a sudden, Starlight interrupted her.
“No, no, Ocellus. Just take it as it is. Trust me, it isn’t very often you get Anon to admit he deserved it.” Starlight whispered to her.
“O-oh, erm, okay? W-well, I’m still sorry! Professor Fluttershy, I really mean it. If you want to be mad at me, that’s okay! What I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have done that!” Ocellus said
“I-it’s alright, Ocellus. From what Starlight told me, it was just an accident. Anon gets very enthusiastic about everything. I think it’s encouraging, but he has to be careful. Anon, is your eye okay, really?” Fluttershy asked worryingly.
It didn't seem to be hurting. You nodded, your mind waking up to the entire situation. Seems Ocellus didn’t tell Fluttershy your secret after all. “Yeah, I’m alright. I… The horn! What happened to my horn?!” Shit! You remember Ocellus had it and… Did she still have it?
No, Discord just chuckles and points to it. It was around your neck, safe and sound. “Relax, Anon, it’s right where it needs to be. And no, I won’t penalize you for such a foolish mistake. Actually…” Discord began to stroke his beard as he went into deep thought. “All this excitement and liquidy pugilism has been too much on my little colt, wouldn’t you say? Fluttershy, I’d like to make a proposal. Actually, not a proposal, an idea. I think we should just spend the rest of the day relaxing. Just me, you, and Anon. What do you say? I promise, no tricks, no traps, just something that I promise we all can enjoy. What do you say?”
Fluttershy looked up at Discord. She didn’t need to study him to see that he was actually serious in his words. She knew that, due to his nature, he could change his mind on a whim. But for now, she knew it’d at least start out that way, and she felt she’d be able to keep it as such. She just wanted everything to just calm down so she didn’t have to worry anymore. So you didn’t have to. So she nodded. “Discord, I’d like that very much. And I know you mean it. Anon, I know usually I’d let you decide. But as your aunt, I’m telling you that you can’t say no… Erm, is that okay?”
Dammit, Fluttershy. Why did she have to ask that? If she wanted to lay down some authority, then yes, you’ll take it as such. You nodded to her. “Y-yeah, a little relaxation sounds pretty great. Hey, Ocellus, you should probably go back and hang out with everycreature too, okay? I bet they're worried about you, y’know?”
“Oh no! I forgot that I just flew out on Yona! Right! That sounds okay! B-bye! I have to get back! Thank you for reminding me, Anon!” Ocellus said as you heard her wings buzz as she flew off. Welp, seems you're back in her good graces again. Good, because you don’t think you could take her flip flopping anymore. Sure, it was warranted, but if you were going to prove you were going to better yourself, you needed a chance to show it.
“Wait! Discord, Fluttershy! Can I actually have a word with Anon for a moment? I kinda need to talk to him about last night.” Starlight asked. Seems she still wanted to talk about that illusion you saw.
“Starlight, I don’t mean to sound mean or rude, and I know you’re the school’s counselor, but Anon needs rest, not reminders of something traumatizing.” Fluttershy said as nicely as she could. “Please, I don’t want him to think about it anymore, it’s done.”
“Ngh, b-but…” Starlight poked her head through the curtains, showing that you were back in the cutie map room when you saw beyond it. “It’s actually something that’s very important! I think-” But then Discord interrupted her, quite literally, as he snapped her away someplace with a teleport.
Discord then turned to Fluttershy, actually hoping for her approval. “I hope that wasn’t going too far, but she was getting annoying. All that prattling on about last night and such. I may have not been there, but we all know there isn’t a tree spirit. I’d think I’d have known. And since I don’t know, but do know there’s nothing to know, then I had to tell her in my own way… No. As in, well, you know.” Discord said with a lackadaisical grin, shrugging.
Fluttershy nodded. “I’m not mad, Discord, I actually agree with you. She should know it can be very traumatizing to bring up the past like that when it is still fresh on a foal’s mind. Anon, I don’t want you to worry about that, alright? I want you to focus on being the best colt you can be! Just like always!” Fluttershy said as she planted a little kiss on your forehead.
…That spirit. You could understand why Starlight felt it was urgent to talk about it. It was clear she believed it was real. You were still on the fence about it. It knew too much about you, but certainly didn’t act very harmonic or understanding. Nobody else knew about it, even Celestia didn’t seem to believe it, as she would have said something about it by now. You almost wanted to agree with Starlight. But, no, Discord and Fluttershy were actually right about this, you needed to rest, you needed to get back on track on making things better. “And don’t worry, Aunt Fluttershy, I will be the best colt I should be. So, Dad, what did you have in mind?”
“Well, that’s easy, actually. You see, the uneducated would have you believe relaxing on a boat on the river would be relaxing. And as it turns out…” Discord snapped his talons. In a flash, you, Fluttershy, and Discord appear on a long and steady white boat. At the bow of the boat was a small statuette of Discord’s head looking forward, and the stern somehow expanded to fit a small table with steaming hot hayburgers sitting on a plate. The shape of the boat expanding as a larger square at the stern side was impossible, if it wasn’t for the fact it was Discord. While you and Fluttershy appeared at the bow of the ship, Discord appeared at the stern, flipping another hay burger as he zapped it with magic, instantly grilling it as it fell on the plate. “...They’d be right. Welcome to the S.S. Enterprise. Our mission? To just relax and have some hayburgers.” Discord then looked at you with a huge grin and said. “And I certainly hope nopony finds the name inadequate. No rolling of the eyes and such, I worked very very hard on making sure this all works.”
Fluttershy was still looking around until Discord caught her attention. She then grinned rather warmly, very happy to see everything already was working out. “Discord, no! Of course I wouldn’t have a problem with it. It sounds like you’re working very hard to make it work. So, I’m with you all the way.” Fluttershy then looked at you with a softer and caring smile. “Anon, isn’t this fun! We’re on a boat ride. And look around, nothing but trees, and sun, and the river slowly taking us forward. I bet you feel relaxed already.”
Dammit, Discord. A clever yet annoying double entendre. You couldn’t be mad at him, it was pretty damn good. You sighed, and took in the fresh air, looking around and noticing how quiet it all was. Discord himself, just noticing how pleased you actually were, leaned back at the very stern of the ship, sat down, brought out a banjo, and slowly began to play. The music was slow, yet happy. A docile tone that was rather relaxing indeed. It made the atmosphere perfect. You looked to Fluttershy, and nodded. “I do. This is actually really nice. Are the hayburgers for us, Dad?”
Discord slowly nodded as he continued to play. “That’ser right, Anon. Some regular ole’ hayburgers fur y’all.” Discord said in an exaggerated hillbilly accent
“Oh, they look very tasty.” Fluttershy commented. She gave you a pat and grabbed a burger not only for herself, but for you as well. “Considering this is family time, I don’t care how many you eat, Anon. Here, I brought you one.”
“Thank you, Aunt Fluttershy. It really smells good!” It did, you couldn’t wait to take a bite. Hell, you just took it and sunk your teeth into it. If it was one thing you could count on from Discord, it was his cooking, no matter how odd it was.
Fluttershy giggled happily, loving how smoothly things were already going. “I’m so glad we’re all here. In fact, this reminds me of a story. Anon, did I ever tell you the story about how me and my friends donned the persona of the…” Fluttershy did her best to sound all grand and mysterious, only coming out as cute. “Mare-Do-Well?”
“Wasn’t that to teach Rainbow Dash a lesson?” You remembered that episode. It was a season two episode if you remembered correctly.
Fluttershy suddenly frowned for a moment, she seemed disappointed. “O-oh, you heard about that already. I sometimes forget that you’ve heard so many stories about us, um, me and my friends I mean.”
Ah, dammit! You should have said no! She seemed to have been excited to tell that story. “E-erm, yeah. Um…”
Discord stops playing as he looks over to you, a little annoyed. Then floats towards and above Fluttershy, as he starts to suddenly look over some flash cards in his paw. “Hmm, well from the stories you told me, why don’t you tell him about the time you took over Rarity’s boutique? I loved that story, just knowing how chaotic your personality can be was so intriguing. Though, of course, I’m glad none of that is really who you are. Classic Fluttershy will always be best.” He says as he tosses the cards into a void. Were those all story notes Fluttershy had told him? Damn, he actually does care about everything she tells him, even taking notes just in case he forgets.
Also, what? You don’t remember any episode like that. “I… Don’t remember that ep-erm, uh, story. What does Dad mean by ‘chaotic personality’?”
Fluttershy blushed in embarrassment as she tapped her wing tips together. “W-well, it is kind of an interesting story. But, I don’t know, it isn’t a very exciting story…”
Anything that has to do with ‘chaotic personality’ within Fluttershy was goddamn interesting. You had to know, if only to cheer her up by showing genuine interest. “N-no! I really wanna know! Tell me everything, Aunt Fluttershy!”
“Yes, please!” Discord said as he sat intently next to you, awaiting the story. “You know I always love hearing stories from you, Fluttershy. Even the ones I’ve already heard.”
“Welllll….” Fluttershy was slowly overcoming her own embarrassment. Then, with a look of determination, she nodded. “Alright! Well, it all starts in Manehatten and…” And so, Fluttershy recapped an episode you were never there to see, ‘Fake it til’ you make it’. Where she details how she tried to be the best mare for the job by becoming three different personas: A bitch, a goth bitch, and a hipster bitch. And as she told you the story, it surprised you that not only was she somehow able to play these personas so well, to the point they sounded like split personalities, but also… GODDAMMIT ANON! WHY DID THE GOTH VERSION OF HER SOUND HOT?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OH GOD. YOU COULD SEE THE OTHERS FLOODING YOUR MIND. GOTH PONK, GOTH RARITY, GOTH DASSSH.
OH NO... NO... GOTH TWILIGHTTTTTTT, SHE SOUNDS HOT, AND SHE WASN'T EVEN MENTIONED! NOOO, IT WAS GETTING TO BE TOO MUCH! YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE TWILIGHT THAT MUCH!
“...But in the end, I learned that just being myself was all I needed to be to do the job. And that’s the story. Oh, what did everypony think!” Fluttershy said as she concluded her story.
Discord applauded as he gave his talons the chef’s kiss. “Magnificent! Truly a story for the ages, as always! Anon, what did you think?”
GAH! GOTH TWILIGHT! READING A NECRONOMICON SEXILY! WITH TENTACLES! GYAAAAHHH! TOO HOT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! YOU COULD FEEL YOUR BODY HEATING UP! YOU COULD FEEL IT…GROWING! IF SHE SAW IT, IF SHE… “GYAH! IT WAS THE BEST! THE BEST! LOOK OVER THERE!” You screamed out as you pointed behind Fluttershy. Shit! It’s been too long and you could barely control it! The water looked cool enough, all you had to do was just dive in for a bit and climb back into the boat. You turned around to hop off the boat like a madman.
But Fluttershy didn’t even bother to look where you pointed. All Fluttershy did was gasp in fright. “Anon! Discord, what happened?! Why did he jump off the boat?!”
Discord murmured to himself as he turned towards Fluttershy with a calm smile. “I believe he enjoyed the story a little too much. Anon has a problem with losing himself sometimes when it comes to certain types of stories. Truthfully, however? I thought he had gotten over it.”
“W-what? Really? That’s so strange…” Fluttershy said, stunned as she began to lose focus for a moment, finding that kind of reaction so weird, even for you. Then suddenly her eyes went wide as she realized you were still overboard. “Wait, Discord! You have to get him back on the boat! He could drown!”
Discord was calm, and was already in fishing gear as he cast his pole into the water and easily caught you as he began to reel you up, snagging you painlessly by the back. “No need to worry, Fluttershy. This kind of thing happens all the time.” He said as he lifted you out of the water and pulled you back into the boat. You just laid there, letting out an annoyed grunt at yourself for pulling such a dumb move. “Lookit here, caught me a hopefully ‘Flaccid Catshark’. Or, er, ponyshark in this case.”
“Anon! Why did you jump off the boat like that?!” Fluttershy asked, frantic in her tone, wanting to hear it from your own mouth.
You just laid there, embarrassed with yourself, as you continued to stare blankly. You answered rather stoically. “I, uh, I just really enjoyed the story a little too much.”
Fluttershy was speechless, realizing Discord was 'right', and just sat there, astonished. She then looked back at you, and gently pet you as she became a little sheepish. “E-erm, maybe you can, um, express your excitement without jumping off things. Okay?”
Ugggghhhhhhhhhhh… Why were you so dumb?
“Yeah… Um…” You slowly stood up, shook yourself like a dog, and then looked at Fluttershy with a grin. You knew you couldn’t worry her, and you almost let your stupid libido ruin that. “Still, that was a really neat story. I, uh, yeah… Um… So…” Hmmm… Well, you could always grab your horn and… Hmmm, you needed a change of subject quick. “Hey, Aunt Fluttershy. We’re supposed to be relaxing, right?”
“Erm, yes.” Fluttershy nodded, confused as to why you’d ask that. “We’re supposed to. Erm, aside from jumping off the boat, haven’t you been relaxed? Erm, do you need a hug right now? Are you alright?”
“U-um, yeah I'm fine, but… Well, check this out, you’ll love it!” Slapping on your horn, you aimed it into the air as you shot out a tiny bolt of magic that exploded softly in mid air. In a mere moment, the air was suddenly filled with calming music from your favorite video games! Like Animal Crossing! Woo! “There we go, how about a little musical ambiance?”
Discord didn’t even seem annoyed that his banjo playing got overshadowed. He just leaned back down on the side of the boat and… Kind of played along with the music as he re-summoned his banjo. “I have to admit, this fits the theme, nice work. Wouldn’t you agree, Fluttershy?” Discord was actually praising you. Either he was proud of your chaos use or just playing nice for Fluttershy. Either way, it was well appreciated.
“Oh, it actually is very nice. Anon, is this the kind of music humans make? I wasn’t expecting it to sound so soothing.” Fluttershy said as her worry left her. She just kind of started to sway her head to the songs in the air.
Ah, you couldn’t go wrong with a whole compendium of calming music fitting for a nice boat ride. “Yeah, it is. I didn’t say all human stuff was bad.” You said as you took a seat next to Discord, gazing at his banjo strumming. “Y’know, this is actually really fun. I’m glad we’re taking this boat trip. I… Kinda wish Chrysalis was here. Maybe it’d be a bad idea, but I think it could still be nice.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’d be fine if we let her know ahead of time for next time. I know she cares, deep down inside. And just like with your father, all it takes is a little time and patience, and a lot of love.” Fluttershy said with a happy little sigh.
Discord suddenly strummed his banjo wrong as he tensed up. “Ahrm, you m-mean love as a friend, correct?”
Fluttershy just sighed happily and nodded, just staring up into the sky. “Mhmm, of course.”
Huh… The way she said it, it sounded a little more than ‘friendship love’. Poor Discord, that was his weakness, true love and commitment. It was just an educated guess, but he has to be in love with her in some sense, he just can’t get it out of his head that he doesn’t need to distance himself from her affections. Because, dammit, she had to be in love with the guy. You wanted to try to get him to admit it at one point, yet you knew he would just avoid the subject, and he had no qualms on using his magic on you, despite the level of friendship you have with him. Honestly, you had to see if Spike could get something out of him.
In any case, might as well bail him out of this one. “Hey! Also, I kinda got a story of my own! Did I ever mention that I had an adventure with Daring Do once?”
Fluttershy’s attention was immediately caught as she looked at you with confusion. As if she didn’t know if you knew or didn’t know Daring Do was real. She didn’t know if you actually knew her or if it was just some sort of story. “Um, Anon, do you mean y-”
You don’t like to interrupt Fluttershy in any sense, but you knew who Daring Do was, she knew who she was, no reason to have such a back and forth. “Look, just saying. I know A.K. Yearling is also Daring Do, I also know you know that. C’mon…” You give Fluttershy a cocky grin. “You don’t really think I’d make up an awesome adventure, do you?”
Fluttershy knew you wouldn’t, especially since you seemed pretty well-learned already on Daring Do's existence. But then she suddenly gave you an intense and foreboding stare. “Anon… So, you had another dangerous adventure you didn’t tell me about?”
You recoiled at that, you grimaced at the thought that you just upset her with another dangerous secret adventure. “Wait! Aunt Fluttershy! I-”
But then Fluttershy giggled, she just giggled at your sudden fright. So much so, that you had to ask what the hell that stare was even about.
“Hey?! What?! I thought you were mad at me! Y’know, about secret dangerous adventure stuff?” Like, really, geez. What made this one okay?!
“Well, it did happen so long ago, didn’t it? It explains who the mysterious colt spirit was who adventured with Daring Do in one of her latest books. Rainbow Dash had told me all about it before, and I knew some of the details she told me seemed a little funny. So, did you have fun?” Fluttershy asked with a gentle grin.
Ugh, you fell over as your nerves shot all over your body. So, seriously, she was okay with that one because she already had some inkling of it? Then again, it was also so long ago, it probably didn’t bother her too much since it didn’t involve all the cloak and dagger crap like with the Storm King and Chrysalis. “Y-yeah, I did. Erm, you’re really not mad?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “Not at all. Well, maybe I should be, but considering it was so long ago, and nothing but a book came of it, then all I can say is that I hope it was fun. And that it was also a learning experience. Ahrm, as to, erm, not get into so much danger. Though, erm, I know you’re still working on that.” She said as she tried not to say anything to upset you. Hm, maybe she was upset about the truth of it all, but maybe because it was so long ago, she was just doing her best to let that one slide.
“Aha, well… Heh. Well, I guess you kinda also know what happened already. Dunno how accurate the book was, but hey, look, I got to be in a Daring Do book!” You said as you stood up proudly. “I think that’s pretty great.”
Discord actually gives you a little applause, it seemed he was pretty proud of that. “...And that, I think, is worthy of praise. Yes, I always do think everypony should know about the exploits of either me or my son. Tell me, Fluttershy, how amazed Rainbow Dash was at my colt’s accomplishments, hm? Tell me, I must know.”
“Erm, well, actually, Anon was never mentioned by name. Like I said, he was referred to as a spirit. In fact, Rainbow Dash and I were sure that since we knew her adventures were real, that the colt’s identity and powers were changed some to protect his identity. I’m glad it was, I wouldn’t want somepony like Dr. Caballeron after Anon.” Fluttershy stated.
Discord scoffed at that, he actually seemed pretty annoyed at such an insinuation. “Now, I usually agree with you, Fluttershy. But some doctor getting the better of Anon? Chaos is a magic that cannot be toppled under any circumstances. This ‘Caballeron’ fellow would be crying to his mother in minutes. And if it was me against him… In seconds.” Discord said with a cruel burning stare before suddenly becoming lackadaisical “Of course, there is the matter of Anon’s limited charges. Anon, you have been working on using them at their maximum potential, haven’t you?”
“Uhhhh, I mean. I made calming background music for us to relax to. Does that count?” You asked.
“More than you know. There’s always about having some sort of musical theme in the background as you cause mischief wherever you go. So top notch work, Anon. Ahhhh….” Discord goes back to relaxing as he continues to strum on the banjo. “I actually do feel very snug here in this boat. Hmmm, but I feel it is missing something. Ah! I have it! Would anypony want to see if Twilight has reached Celestia yet? I’m sure it’ll be a highlight of today’s non-festivities.”
“No.” Fluttershy says, suddenly and bluntly. “I already know Twilight is going to have a hard time, and I don’t think it’d be fun at all.”
…Y’know, you kinda wanted to see what happened. You kinda wanted to see Celestia give the same business to Twilight as she did to Discord. “Um… I mean, I ki-” But the moment any other word came out of your mouth that wasn’t ‘no’, Fluttershy just turned to stare at you as well. “I mean, geez Dad, that’s messed up. Why would anypony want that?”
Fluttershy nodded to your words, and tried to give a lecture to the both of you. “That’s right, it’s wrong to make fun of somepony who is going through a real life crisis. Even if it is related to you. It just isn’t nice.”
Discord raised a paw up as he prepared to snap his talons together. “Hold that thought.” Once he did, Rainbow Dash appeared in a flash next to him, unaware of what just happened.
“Who?! What?! Where?! What happened?!” Rainbow Dash asked as she shook her head and looked around, her eyes donning on Discord first. “Discord! What the hay!”
“Oh, hush, this will only take a second and I’ll send you back.” Discord told her.
“Okay, so what is it? Make it quick, I was actually making lesson plans for tomorrow since Twilight canceled classes for today” Rainbow Dash said rather angrily towards him.
“Right, whatever, look. I just wanted to ask if you think it’s funny when somepony is having a freak out, no matter what the context is. Say, for example, Twilight freaking out in front of Princess Celestia because she thinks I went to cause some trouble or something.” Discord asked.
“Do you mean, like, right now? Because, if you’re here, and she’s there. Oh…” Rainbow Dash began to smirk. “That’s actually pretty hilarious! I told everypony it wasn’t anything to worry about, but they didn’t believe me! Geez, I don’t even know what really happened, but everypony was acting all crazy and everything. I dunno, if it was something Anon did, and it didn’t bother Yona, then I don’t see what the big deal was.” Rainbow Dash said as she shrugged, chuckling. “Just typical Twilight having another crazy meltdown, I guess. And Fluttershy? I don’t want to knock on her or anything, but she needs to chill. Like seriously.”
“RAINBOW DASH!” Fluttershy said in her usual soft fury, staring directly at her.
“Oh, hey Flutt-EEP!” Rainbow Dash flinched, then slowly turned over to her, gave her a very worried smile, and waved to her. “Erm, uhm. I mean, uhm. Erm… Hey, Anon! Good to see you’re okay, erm. I m-mean, erm…” Rainbow Dash then pointed to Discord frantically. “He made me say those things! It’s his fault.”
Ooooh, geez. Holy fuck, geez, fuck… Rainbow Dash, oh good lord, she actually might be worse than you are. You kinda wish Ocellus hadn’t wasted a charge on your horn so you could summon up some popcorn. This was gonna be good.
“Come on!” Rainbow Dash bellowed as she gestured her hooves upwards. “Fluttershy, are you going to tell me it isn’t funny? Discord is right there! Anon is right here! Everypony is fine!”
Fluttershy just kept her hardened stare on her, never wavering. “That’s not the point, Rainbow Dash. You’re supposed to be the element of loyalty, and a professor who follows their values. What do you think the others would say if they heard you talking like that?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at her. “Are you serious? We always have a big laugh about a bunch of stupid stuff we do.”
“Yes, together, as in all of us. It isn’t right when we’re making fun of one another.” Fluttershy retorted.
“I mean, I get that. But Twilight has to be already there, and Celestia has to be all like...” Rainbow Dash threw her mane back, and flapped her wings to make it look like it flowed like Celestia’s. “Twilight, oh, I was in danger? Ah, right, this cake was below par to what I am used to. If you hadn't stopped me, I might've gotten sick!” Rainbow Dash then burst into laughter. “Come on, isn’t that hilarious? Twilight will be all like this!” Rainbow Dash limped slightly backwards as she let her eyes bug out.
Fluttershy was not amused, she just crossed her forelegs, and silently stared at her.
“Wow… Seriously? Come on, you’re only being so hard on me because you probably don’t want Anon to think this is bad or something.” Rainbow Dash said, awaiting an answer. And when she didn’t get it, she immediately pointed at Discord. “What about him?! He was the one who asked me the question! He started all this!”
Discord didn’t even wince, he just frowned as he looked towards Fluttershy, and bowed. “Indeed, I did start all this, and I simply must apologize. You see, when I stated my argument towards you, I had expected that bringing Rainbow Dash here would lead to the demise of my point. In other words, I expected her to disagree with me, therefore making me wrong, and you right. In that way, I believe it would have cemented the lesson in Anon’s head. Truly, this was my fault.”
“See! He admits it!” Rainbow Dash said, as she doubled her pointing at him. “Plus, he’s probably lying about wanting me to not agree with him and stuff. He’s Discord, he likes being right, like, all the time!”
Y’know, somehow, you actually believed Discord on this one. One of his defining traits was trying not to upset Fluttershy, even if he ends up doing that anyway. In this case, you were sure he knew simply arguing with her on the matter of your upbringing may upset her. Then again, you could be wrong and he’s just trying to save face. Either way, you were enjoying the boat ride, and you didn’t want it to end miserably for anyone. Well, anyone who was ‘family’. “I actually believe Dad. Dad hates upsetting Aunt Fluttershy, like, by a whole lot. And believe it or not, Dad does try to teach me to be good sometimes, and to use my chaos responsibly. I know, I know, Dad can also just do what he wants and it kinda looks really bad. Okay, it goes really bad, because… Well, I did bad. But when it comes to wanting to make Aunt Fluttershy happy, I just don’t think he’d just blatantly upset her with that kind of an argument. And I definitely learned my lesson, making fun of Twilight like that is pretty bad.”
“Blatantly? Is that even a wo-Wait! You believe him?! Seriously?! Fluttershy, what about you?” Rainbow Dash just stared at her, just waiting to see what she had to say.
Fluttershy nodded, but she began to soften up a little, if only because she seemed pleased by your words. “I believe Discord too. I know he understands how important it is to be a good father, he just forgets sometimes.” Fluttershy said, her hope, even when strained, never falling apart.
“Guh! Geh! Mahg! Mmm!” Rainbow Dash began to recoil and flinch constantly, until she floated down onto the boat, and just stared for a good long moment before letting out a tired sigh. “Okay… Fine, I was in the wrong. Sheesh, I wasn’t expecting Discord to just… I dunno, do that? That thing where he thought I’d disagree with him?”
Discord grabbed onto Rainbow Dash and hugged her hard and close to his side. “That’s the power of family!” He said with a jovial laugh as he grabbed a hayburger and stuffed it into Rainbow Dash’s mouth. “Here! This is supposed to be a joyous yet relaxing little boat ride, so have a burger on the house!”
“FASDFDSFG… Mfngnm…. Mmm.” Rainbow Dash, at first, seemed like she was choking; But as she chewed, she actually found herself actually enjoying the hayburger. “Okay, this isdb gwood.” She garbled as she chewed, then swallowed. “Yeah, okay, I get it. Hey, Fluttershy, you’re not mad at me, are ya?”
Fluttershy shook her head, and gave her friend a warm smile. “No, as long as you learned your lesson.”
“Yeah, I guess I did.” Rainbow Dash said with a light hearted chuckle before looking at you. “Hey, so, Anon. Uh, um, well… You alright? I mean, I heard what happened. Was it really that serious?”
You took a moment to compose yourself, the thought still hurts. “Yeah… It was, but… I, heh, I don’t really want to think about it too much right now. I want to move past it, and better myself.”
“It’s like that, huh? Hmmm.” Rainbow Dash began to ponder there for a moment, actually doing her best to think of something motivating. “Well… Just stay the course, that’s something Twilight would say, I guess. You ain’t a bad colt, you just gotta chill, relax, and just do what’s right. Hey, you can be more like me, if you want! I always do the right thing. Except for that last thing, that doesn’t count.”
“U-um!” Fluttershy’s body jerked listening to that as her expression twisted. She knew that Rainbow Dash was exaggerating again, and aimed to correct that. “But, Anon! Also remember to be like the other elements too! Loyalty, Kindness, Laughter, Honesty, Generosity...”
“And magic, chaos magic to be exact. I’m fully on your side on this, Fluttershy, but chaos is in his very core. He can be all those things, of course, but with just the right twist of chaos.” Discord added.
Fluttershy nodded with a light giggle. “Of course, as long as he’s responsible with it.”
Rainbow Dash was just staring, her eyes narrowing. “Okay, what’s going on here? You guys are acting all togethery all of a sudden. Like, really togethery.”
Discord’s attention immediately fell back on Rainbow Dash as he furrowed his brow towards her. “Don’t you have some sort of Blunderbolt thing to get to?”
“That’s Wonderbolts, Discord! Why do you al-” But before Rainbow Dash could say anything else, Discord snapped her away.
Discord then leaned back, and let out a heavy groan. “Oh Celestia, I’m glad I didn’t hesitate. She always goes on and on about how I need to respect the… Er… Hm, I don’t even remember the name anymore. Ah well.”
Fluttershy stifled a giggle, and gently scolded Discord in good nature. “Discord, you really should be nicer about it. Remember, you have to be more responsible.”
“Well… Alright, alright, I know. Wonderbolts, the amazing patrollers of the skies… Or something like that. That’s close enough, right?” Discord asked.
“Yes, but be sure to let Rainbow Dash know you’re sorry too when you get the chance.” Fluttershy said.
“If I must.” Discord said with a shrug before looking over to you. “So, Anon, we have a boat, we have ambiance, relaxing music. Is there anything we’re missing?”
Oh, hey, he was asking you? Well then, alright, what could you add then? “Missing? Um, well, how about dessert? How about…” You began to look around, then peered over the boat and stared into the water. “Hmm, how about something to wash it down, chaos style?”
“Ah, now that’s something I can do!” Discord said as he cocked his tail like a shotgun, waved it in front of himself, then grabbed it to aim like a rifle. “Take that! And this!” He began to fire transforming magic bullets, shooting large chocolate pudding cups into yours and Fluttershy’s hooves. He then pulled out what looked like a spinning top, in which he pulled the string, and tossed it like a grenade. “Cider in the hole!” He cried out as the spinning top fell into the water, spinning, causing a swirl of apple cider to spread through the river. “Drinks on!” Discord said as he slid empty beer steins towards you and Fluttershy, sliding them through the air like they were on some sort of table.
Fluttershy, somehow knowing it was safe to let go of the pudding cup as it floated in mid-air after she let it go, easily caught the beer stein “Oh, Discord, you always know how to throw in amazing flair to everything you do. But, um…” Fluttershy looked into the river “Is the cider safe for Anon to drink? And are all the fishies going to be okay?”
“Trust me, Fluttershy, this is a full family affair with family appropriate snacking. As for the ‘fishies’, they will be alright, I moved them all ahead, so no worries.” Discord said as he squeezed his pudding cup, an endless stream of chocolate going down his mouth as he filled his beer stein with cider from the river.
Huh, an endless pudding cup. Not exactly what you had in mind, but hey, it’s pudding, and it’s endless, soooo, “Bottoms up!” You dip your snout into the cup and just start licking hungrily, until you notice something. It didn’t taste that sweet. “Hey, what gives? Where’s the sugar?”
“Sugar free, I’m afraid. As a responsible parent, I can’t allow your teeth to rot. Same with you, Fluttershy, I hope you don’t mind.” Discord said, stifling a slight snicker.
“Oh no, not at all. But, Anon, it doesn’t taste good to you? I actually think it tastes very good. Why don’t you give it another try, and not think about the sugar, but the chocolatey goodness instead.” Fluttershy suggested.
Mnnn, well… Despite Discord patronizing you a little, she was right, it was still pretty good, and the chocolate tasted pretty pure. You licked it again, and again, and more, and much more. Fine, the pudding was still pretty good. But what about the cider? You look at your beer stein, shrug, then toss it aside as you bent over the boat and sunk your face into the cider river and began to suck it down. Fluttershy gasped at first, but as you pulled yourself up and licked at your own muzzle, you had to admit, it was some damned good appley goodness. And it tasted pretty sweet. “Wow! This is really good!”
“Haha! Now that’s how you do it!” Discord, loving your display, just tossed his own beer stein aside as he bent himself backwards, diving his head into the river, then raising it back up while his head was encased in a cidery bubble. He just put a straw in his mouth and sucked until the bubble was all sucked in. “Now, how was that?”
“That was awesome! Hey, Aunt Fluttershy, why don’t you give it a go?” Man, this was getting to be pretty sweet. You just wanted to see her loosen up and try it herself. “C’mon!”
“I-I dunno, I don’t think I can do it as well as you two.” Fluttershy said, rather nervously.
“Nonsense! Just loosen up a little, Fluttershy. You of all ponies know there is nothing wrong with giving in to a little chaos.” Discord said, quite intrigued himself to see if Fluttershy could pull it off.
“Well, I know… But… Um…” Fluttershy, after all that bravado with Rainbow Dash, just suddenly became so timid again.
“Aunt Fluttershy… Aunt Fluttershy… Aunt Fluttershy. Aunt Fluttershy! Aunt Fluttershy!” You began to chant. You chanted more and more, until finally, Discord, seeing your encouragement, decided to join in. Both of you are chanting for her, trying to fill her with courage and awesomeness.
“Okay! O-okay! Wow, you two really think I can do it… Well, okay. I’ll, um, I’ll give it a try. Let’s see…” Fluttershy gently tossed her beer stein aside, then she stared into the cider itself rather intently until suddenly, she began to stand and spread her wings. She closed her eyes, took a breath, and then suddenly, she back flipped into the river.
Wait, she just back flipped into cider!
“GYAH! HOLY SHIT! SHE JUST FLIPPED RIGHT INTO IT! DISCORD! CAN YOU EVEN SWIM IN THIS?!” You yelled as you ran over to where Fluttershy was, trying to look deeper into the sudsy yellow liquid.
Discord also went into a panic, and rushed up towards you. “I don’t know! I don’t know if anypony can properly swim in a cider river or not! Why would I even know that?!” He then slammed his head into the river and yelled out a bubbly “FLUTTERSHY!”
Shit! You weren’t expecting that! And, well, wait. Why were you worried? No, Anon, geez! Calm down! It’s pretty obvious Fluttershy is fine, and she’s going to appear on the other side of the boat. “Geez, what am I even worried about? Hey, Aunt Flutter-” But when you turned around to see if she popped up on the other side, she wasn’t there. “OH SHIT!” You then grabbed Discord’s fur on his back and pulled his head out of the river. “Discord! You gotta do something! Bring her back on the boat!”
“Right! I can do that! I have that power! Alright, stand back, Anon! With the mighty snap of my talons, let Flutt-Hm?” He snapped, but nothing happened. “I said, with the mighty snap of my talons! Let Fluttershy- What?! Come on!” He began to snap rapidly, but nothing was working.
“Discord! Stop playing around! This is serious!” You said, shaking him the best you could.
“I’m not! Something is deflecting my magic! I don’t even know how that’s possible! It’s almost like some other chaotic force is blocking my power!” Discord yelled as he began snapping everything he had, even having his horns tap together.
You began to hyperventilate. Why?! Why did you have to goad her on?! What could even be blocking Discord’s powers?!
Unless…
Unless…
You began to tremor and grow pale. Your eyes began to become unsteady as thoughts of the staff began to fill your head. But who was using it? Why? And why drown Fluttershy?! “No! NO! Oh god, no! Discord… She’s going to drown. She’s going to drown and it's all my fault. Oh god…” You began to tear up, you started to shake.
“I-I know, to think… Wait, drown? Why would she drown?” Discord asked, suddenly confused more than anything else.
“What do you mean ‘why would she drown’? She hasn’t come back up… She-She’s…” You said, gulping hard, your vision blurring with tears.
“Anon…” Discord groaned as he face palmed himself with his paw. “She’s not going to drown, is this what this was all about?”
“N-ngh, w-what do you mean by that?! Don’t you care?! She hasn’t come back up yet! Sh… Wait…” Your eyes narrowed towards Discord when the realization suddenly hit you. “You can breathe in the river now, can’t you?”
“Well, duh! After your little stunt, I had to make sure the river was safe for all of us. Drown?!” Discord suddenly became angry with you, crossing his arms. “What do you take me for, a moron? I would have dove in after her myself if that was what was going on.”
Your eye twitched, and you blew up at him, angry. “Are you serious?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT THAT WHOLE TIME?! WHY DID YOU GET SO SCARED?!”
Discord got up to your face, and pointed right at you. “Because I thought she was going to get cramps, Anon! Did that not cross your mind?! Can you imagine Fluttershy writhing in pain as she finally got back to the boat, her body plagued with muscle spasms?! That is truly a terrible thought! Even worse, I can’t bring her back onto the boat! Do you know what that means?!”
Your anger subsided into dread, and you started to look around, for some sort of sign. “Discord… I know, I know what it means. The staff, somepony has it, and is using it right now to block your magic.”
“What?” Discord said, utterly confused.
“The staff! What other chaotic force could deflect your magic? Discord, I think we’re in trouble! We have to go in and get Fluttershy.” You said, as you prepared yourself to just dive in and go get her. If she was able to breathe in the river, then maybe it was possible to swim in it too, you had to try to get her.
Discord just shook his head, not saying a word, and picked you up by your sides. He then sat you down, waved his talon at you, and sighed. “Okay, alright, I see the issue here. Anon, you really need to get your mind off that silly old thing. I can assure you it isn’t the staff.”
“Well, you don’t seem very sure about it! If it isn’t the staff, then what can it be?! Why are you suddenly so calm?!” Dammit! What was going on with him!
“Oh, why? Well, it’s because I realized what’s blocking my magic. It’s that top I used, it must still be spinning. Hard to aim my shots with that thing zipping around in the cider.” Discord explained.
Wut?!
“Then… Then what about Fluttershy?” You asked, your nerves shot, your eyes bloodshot and mane frazzled.
“See, I was worried about that too. But then I remembered something else.” Discord said, as he began to gently rub his paw on your head.
“W-what’s that?” You asked.
Discord shrugged “You don’t remember? Fluttershy is a Buckball champion. I don’t wish to cause any fuss during her live performances, so I always have to catch them later through the lens of my chaotic eyes. In other words, why are we worrying about drownings and cramps when she's in tip top condition?”
“Because she hasn’t come out of the cider yet.” You just told him, rather bluntly.
“Oh, yes… OH NO! WHAT IF SHE SOMEHOW DID DROWN IN DROWNLESS CIDER?! WHAT IF SHE HELD HER BREATH FOR TOO LONG!? FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!” Discord said as he grabbed you and shook you as hard as he could as he began to panic. “WHAT IF HER ENTIRE BODY CRAMPED AND SHE’S AT THE BOTTOM OF THE RIVER, SCREAMING FOR HELP!? ANON! YOU FOOL! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THESE THINGS BEFORE?!”
“ASFASDFSDFSDFSF” Was the only answer you could give as your vision blurred and stomach churned.
“Anon! Anon! I-I can’t handle this! I actually feel those feelings! Those true feelings bursting out of my heart! Painfully! Making me realize that I l-” But before Discord, in his delirious ramblings, could finish, there was a sudden burst from the side of the boat as a twister of cider began to rise above the river like a tornado. Suddenly, within the center, you could see a yellow and pink figure spinning. When it reached the peak of the tornado, there was a sudden burst as the yellow and pink figure began to spin, and spin, and spin, until the cider exploded all around her and the tornado dissipated as Fluttershy appeared above, the spinning top caught in her tail as she spins one more time and hurls the thing expertly back onto the river, causing it to skip along the cider endlessly into the horizon.
Fluttershy, drenched in cider, slowly flew back onto the boat, and began to squeeze her mane and tail to get the cider out. “Oh my, I-I think that was a little more spectacular than what I was going for. I-I hope you both don’t feel like I was trying too hard. I-I just wanted to try something new and exciting, and thought I could use that top for something, erm, cool? Erm, did any of you think that was ‘cool’?”
Discord immediately calmed down, looked over at you, and chuckled. “I told you she was an athlete.” He said, before melting and becoming unconscious.
“Discord?! Anon, what happened to your father?” Fluttershy asked, rather worried,
“Um, I think it was something like this.” Your mind could no longer take it. The thought of losing Fluttershy was so much that it made your mind just… skip. So with that, you just fell over, and passed out.
“O-oh, dear… Maybe it really was too much.” Fluttershy commented to herself.
“Anon, oh, Anon! Come on now, stop playing around. I know Rainbow Dash told me my moves were a ‘knockout’, but I certainly know she didn’t mean it literally.” Said a soft voice.
It was Fluttershy, she was gently tapping the side of your face with her hoof as you began to come to. She sounded worried, because of course she was, you and Discord fell unconscious moments earlier. “A-aunt Fluttershy, what happened?”
“Mnnn.” Fluttershy let out a soft noise as she let out a worried sigh of disbelief. “Well, it seems Rainbow Dash was right. My moves really do knock out ponies. I thought she was exaggerating this whole time.” Fluttershy covered her face with her hooves in shame. “I can’t even imagine how many ponies I may have sent to the hospital.”
Oh, holy christ, she actually thought her buckball move knocked you and Discord out!? You quickly stood up on the boat and hugged onto Fluttershy. “What?! E-erm, I mean! Erm. Look! I’m sure it’s fine! I mean, I never really seen your best Buckball moves before. And, y’know, I am from another dimension and all. Erm, so I probably and most definitely wasn’t used to it! I bet everypony else is just fine with it!”
“Really? Well, I guess that makes sense.” Fluttershy said, as she began to give it some thought. But then she picked up a beer stein with an odd liquid and pointed at it. “But what about your father? He got knocked out too.”
Oh good lord. “Um, I mean. I bet he was just stunned by how…” You hesitated for a moment. You had to wonder, if you say the thing you’re about to say, how will Fluttershy react? Goddammit, Discord. You love her! It’s why you got so worried! So, well, how does Fluttershy feel exactly? Discord isn’t conscious to hear this, and it’ll be the most blunt thing you’ve said about the subject to her. This whole family boat ride was the perfect moment to find out! “...How beautiful you looked. Dad is always mentioning that you’re the most beautiful pony in Equestria.” Okay, maybe that was a bit too blunt. But whatever, let’s see what happens.
“W-what?!” Fluttershy gasped, blushing deep red. “He said that? Really? O-oh my.”
THERE IT IS! THERE IT FUCKING IS! “I mean, yeah. It always confuses me why he says a lot of the sweet things he says about you, but won’t even try to marr-” Suddenly you are interrupted as the beer stein explodes like a cannon out of Fluttershy’s hooves. Discord’s goop body enveloping your entire being until you were suddenly in deep darkness.
“What are you doing?!” Said Discord, his voice ringing in your ears.
You crossed your forehooves, and sat there in the darkness. You refused to budge this time around. “What do you think? This is a family boat ride, isn’t it? I just wanted to know how Fluttershy felt about you.”
“No! You were filling her head with nonsense! And I should know, I’m the lord of nonsense! I could have sworn we had a talk about this before! So what gives you the right to play lovecolt behind my back?!” Discord said, an angry scowl of eyes and eyebrows appearing overhead.
“Discord, you’re acting like a kid. And I should know, I’ve been a kid twice now!” You mocked. “Why do you have to make a big deal about this? I was just interested, that’s all.”
“Because love isn’t chaos! It’d never work! She’d hate m- I mean she’d never be able to live up to my standards.” Discord said as he suddenly began to calm down, and sound uninterested and aloof. “Fluttershy is a dear friend, yes. But you’re wasting your time with this utter nothingness you think you know of. How about we forget this whole thing, hm? You tell Fluttershy you were just kidding, and I give you unlimited magic for a week. Good deal, right?”
“Love is pretty chaotic Discord.” You tell him, just staring at his staring eyes as they suddenly look shocked and began to bounce.
“Now that’s a bunch of malarkey if I ever heard it. If love was chaotic, then why is an alicorn a princess of it, hm?” Discord asked.
You shrugged. “Hm, well, I could go the ‘safe for work’ route and say, think about if Shining and Cadance had to find a way to ditch some super boring thing they had to go to, that’s pretty chaotic. Or heck, dealing with a manic Twilight who showed up to scream some dumb stuff towards them is also pretty chaotic. But then again, I guess that doesn’t have to do with love really. Let’s see, well, decision making can be pretty chaotic in terms of day plans, party themes, dealing with some jerk who tried to make moves on Fluttershy despite you two being married. Or heck, look at me and Diamond, I ended up in a freaking oven while practicing sword fighting. You know, showing off my skills and stuff to her.”
“Your relationship with Chryssi is the only chaotic thing I can think of, and she’s your ‘friend’.” Discord said “So, I believe I have you there. But do go on, what is this ‘not safe for work’ example you plan to give? Let me remind you that this world is much more pure than the gunky pottyplace your old home was.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “Discord, how do you think ponies have foals? Are you telling me you wouldn’t have super wild and kinky se-” But before you could finish your sentence, your mouth was sealed by small steel beams bolted onto it.
“Stop! Stop! Don’t say those words! Anon, are you insane?! Well, you are insane. But do you understand what you were about to imply?! Fluttershy is a pure delicate little butterfly who wouldn’t even think such a thing. I will not have you try to fill my head with such disgusting thoughts!” Discord said, with panic in his voice.
You grabbed your horn and slapped it on, using the telekinesis you can still use to remove the bolts off the beams. “Dammit, Discord! I bet you that she’s thought about having kids with you! And that includes going into-” Suddenly, your head was wrapped with bandages, like a mummy.
“Kids?! Foals?! Now you truly are going too far! Don’t get me wrong, they’d probably be perfection. But the act to produce them? Oh, no no no, not Fluttershy. Again, she’s a pure and nice pony.” Discord retorted.
Using your horn, you use your other secondary spell, a barrier. You make one along the fur of your face, and expand it to obliterate the bandages. “...Who would totally bang you, after you marry her! And would be happy to have kids with you! You could have a real son, Discord. Or a daughter! Imagine a daughter as sweet as Fluttershy, but with your powers! Isn’t that amazing?”
Discord’s eyes began to twitch, expand, then deflate as they flew around, and landed on the floor of darkness. “You’ve broken me, Anon.”
“Does that mean you’ll finally admit that you love Fluttershy?” You asked him, unwavering in your assault.
“I’d rather not. You’re worse than Spike, you know that? He thinks the same thing, y’know? Look, Anon, I normally don’t do this.” He said, with begging eyes. “But I am asking you, with pleases and sugar on top,” He said as sugar began to snow down from the sky. “To drop this. Let’s say that you’re right. Do you think it’d be wise to rush things? Do you think it’d be smart to give Fluttershy these ideas? Get her hopes up for nothing? Because we both know, should it happen, I’d never arrive at the altar unless it was drilled into my head, quite literally, that this would be something that would work.” Discord said, in one of the most broken and most serious tones you’ve ever heard from him.
“Discord… I dunno, dude. Okay, look, I guess maybe I went a bit too far. But I’m just saying, if you don’t do something, Fluttershy might end up with someone else. Is that what you want?” You asked him, relenting a little to his pleas.
“What’s wrong with that?” Discord asked.
“Are you serious? The moment Fluttershy gets with someone else, you’d probably nuke the guy.” You said.
“I… Probably maybe probably maybe maybe probably would do that? Or, no, I probably would do that without a second thought.” Discord considered, then he sighed in defeat. “So, what then? Do you honestly think Fluttershy has some sort of love for me? That kind of love?”
“I think so. She probably wouldn’t tell me because she wouldn’t want to get my hopes up about her being my mom. But if she had to tell someone, it’d probably be Angel. I could always ask him.” You said, wondering if she has in fact said anything to him.
“Okay, one, I don’t want to know even if you do. Fluttershy and I have such a strong friendship and wholesome dynamic that I wouldn’t want it ruined. Also, two, you don’t think she’d tell one of her pony friends?” Discord asked.
You just gave him a dead stare. “Are you seriously asking me that question?”
“...I don’t even know why I did. It’d have been an unmitigated disaster that’d most likely be Rainbow Dash’s fault. Element of Loyalty indeed.” Discord scoffed. “But seriously, Anon, how about this? We forget this ever happened, and we let things run its course. Whatever happens happens, and we both know what’s going to happen, because you’re wrong.”
You just groaned in frustration, he may never really understand the opportunity he has. “Fine… Whatever. Just don’t come crying to me when Fluttershy marries Snowflake or something.”
“His name is Bulk Biceps, Anon, and if he values his health, that won’t happen. As I said, Fluttershy is pure, and will never give in to such paltry theatrics of love.” Discord said with a huff.
Whatever… “Yep, alrighty, whatever you say. But, uh, let’s say I do ask Angel, and he does tell me she has a big crush on you. What then?”
“How do you feel about me having a ‘big crush’ on you?” Discord asked as his eyes looked at you meanly.
“It’d be worth it.” You said with a smirk. “I’d gladly go through whatever you had planned for me if it meant you being happy with Fluttershy.”
Discord said nothing, he just rolled his eyes. “And to think, I’m past the point of being able to just get rid of you altogether. So then, ‘chum’, is there any way we can compromise on this position?”
“Aww, c’mon, Discord, don’t be like that. I really am looking out for you, you know?” It actually kind of hurt that he said that, almost felt like he was actually trying to emotionally hurt you. “Fine, I’ll stop, okay? For real this time. But can you at least think about it? I mean really think about it. If you decide that, maybe, if you want to actually try dating Fluttershy, then just say it and we can move on to the next step together. I won’t try anything anymore until you’re ready, alright?” You said, trying to sound more calm and friendly, so he doesn’t take offense or feel attacked.
“In other words, if I agree to those terms, you’ll stop?” Discord asked.
You groaned. “Yes, but you have to be serious in case you do decide to date Fluttershy, okay? If you even think about fucking with me about that, then I’m going to just tell Fluttershy that you want nothing more but to be with her. I’ll tell her that, Discord, if you screw with me on this one.”
“You drive a hard bargain, Anon. But you needn’t fear, I won’t trouble you at all about this subject in any sense.” Discord said with a snicker. “You can’t go back on your word either. To think, you’d honestly think I have some sort of infatuation with Fluttershy. It is to laugh.”
“Actually, I think you want to fuck her in such a way that she wouldn’t feel an ounce of discomfort.” You said with a smarmy smile.
One of Discord’s eyes literally shatters as his chortling comes to a dead stop.
“Yeah, don’t fuck with me on this one, Discord, I really mean it. Or I’ll make it my mission to make sure you make me a brother and sister.” You said with a hard stare.
“You mean brother OR sister, don’t you?” Discord said, with his one eye staring at you.
You just silently continue to stare at him.
Discord’s other eye instantly shatters as he lets out a near pained groan. “I regret everything.”
Suddenly, the darkness warps as you appear back on the boat, still sitting in front of Fluttershy as she stares, confused, then looks to your side. It seems Discord had decided to appear right next to you. “Discord, What was all that about? You just covered Anon in yourself, and he just… stood there. You didn’t do anything mean, did you?”
“Ah, Fluttershy, ahrm, now let us not think like that. The doctor thing was just me having a bit of fun, and this was just me having a father son chat with Anon here about… Er, the spring! Right, the spring, the spring right over there!” Discord pointed ahead at the riverbend where a literally giant spring stood upon the grassy bank. “I had to explain to Anon not to try climbing it, as the spring is quite hot. Isn’t that right, Anon?” Discord said, looking at you with a puppy dog stair.
You really, REALLY, didn’t want to lie to Fluttershy. But the situation was now too volatile to do anything else otherwise. “Uh, yeah. I get the joke though, it is a literal hot spring.”
“Oh, I suppose that makes more sense then. But Discord, I actually think that is pretty funny, but does the spring have to be really hot? What if Anon accidentally trips onto it? Or what if a cute woodland creature tries to touch it? I don’t want anycreature getting hurt. I-I’m not mad at you, really. I just want everything to be safe.” Fluttershy said.
“For you, Fluttershy, say no more.” Discord said as he raised his talons, and gave them a snap, cooling the spring as the boat landed on the river bank. Discord then disembarks from the boat and produces small steps for you and Fluttershy to safely step off the boat from. “All to shore whose going to shore. Welcome to the, er, regular spring, I suppose. Hmmm…” Discord began to tap at his chin as he stared at the spring. “This is actually quite boring, isn’t it?”
“Oh, Discord.” Fluttershy said with a giggle as she felt the need to help you down the steps. “Like I said, I thought the wordplay was really cute. If you want to make it something else, then please do it. I’ll be happy with whatever you make.” While it seems Fluttershy had decided not to ask you about what Discord had said further, given Discord was awake, it almost felt like she was already taking it to heart.
“Hm, well…” Discord began to ponder on this, deeper than he ever normally would. Suddenly, he grew a mane as night filled and blue as Luna’s as his paw reached up straight into the sky and tore a good portion of it away to reveal a beautiful night sky. “Maybe I’m rushing things, but how about something a little different.” Discord snapped his paws again as a large tree appeared in the middle of the bank. “How about you, Anon, and I just sit around, and enjoy the night sky? I know Princess Luna would appreciate it.” Discord said with a snicker. “Even if Princess Celestia has a little bit of a cow.”
Hey, this was actually really cool. You had to give props to Discord, this was… Wait. This was different, wasn’t it? Did you manage to actually, and subliminally, affect the situation? Could this now suddenly be… It?
“Ooh, Discord.” Fluttershy said, in awe and wonder of the sky he created, a beautiful array of translucent blues, with various stars blanketing the sky, with some shooting stars passing by from time to time. “This is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever done.”
“Fluttershy, to hear you say that brings me utter and complete joy.” Discord said, a gentle smile on his face as he took a bow.
“I…” Fluttershy began to blush. “I’d even say, it’s, erm, romantic.”
And then instantly, Discord exploded, and disappeared.
“Discord?!” Fluttershy said in a surprised gasp. “Discord! What happened?! Where are you?”
You just slumped over. You knew it was too good to be true to get that far. Fucking, Discord.
“Dad, come on, Dad. Seriously? Ugh…” You let out a sigh as you look over to Fluttershy with a disappointed expression. “Sorry, Aunt Fluttershy, I just can’t contact him.” You had been trying to contact Discord using your codec. But of course, he won’t answer. You thought you’d be able to convince him to come back, but if he didn’t want to speak, then there really is nothing you could do about it.
Fluttershy, who you thought would be upset with Discord just up and leaving like that, just gives you a warm and reassuring smile as she gently plants her hoof on your head and rubs. “Anon, I think, well, it’s going to be okay this time.”
Okay, she really wasn’t upset at all. “Really? You’re not upset Dad just left like that?”
“Well, normally I would be, but…” Fluttershy let out a little giggle. “The way he left told me so many things about, well, I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean when you’re older. Anon, how about we sit under that tree for now and just stare at the sky? I promise, things are going to be fine, you don’t have to worry about me or your father.”
At first, you were confused. But then, as your brain cells began to slap each other around, you realized why Fluttershy was reacting the way she was. It was obvious, actually. Discord disappeared the moment she said the word ‘romantic’. Haha, well then, it seems that settles that then. Though, there was still the issue of getting Discord to properly reciprocate those feelings without half the world blowing up, but it should work out in time… Hopefully. Though, there was still the fact that this should have been a full family activity.
“Well, I mean, I kinda wanted to just enjoy the night sky with you and dad together.” As you told her this, you had to immediately think about the way you put it. You realized you really were just more disappointed you couldn’t see Discord catch on to how Fluttershy feels more than anything else.
“O-oh.” Fluttershy frowned. “Anon… Mmmnnnn, how about this?” Fluttershy suddenly smiled as she came up with an idea. “Considering why we’re here in the first place, how about we just enjoy ourselves together now, and I talk to your father to set up a real family vacation later. I even think Chrysalis can come along, if she wants to of course.”
Oh boy, that sounded like an unmitigated disaster waiting to happen. You still had to have a visit with Chrysalis, while bringing along Fluttershy, to see how she’d even feel about going along with the whole thing. In truth, she’d probably not go along with the whole family thing. But to all be good friends? That would be nice. You just look at Fluttershy, and nod as you sit under the tree and begin to look up at the ripped sky, with the stars blanketing it as they shot every which way. “I’d like that. Sure! I think I’d really like that actually.”
That’s all you could really say. You can’t be upset, for her sake. Discord being here would be nice, but you could be perfectly happy just being there for Fluttershy if it meant she wouldn’t be upset. Her presence was calming and sweet. In reality, and you hate to think this, but Discord would have ruined the atmosphere sooner or later.
Fluttershy laid on her back beside you, making herself comfortable as she stared upwards. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She was utterly enamored with the display.
“It is. Staring at it, it kinda makes me think back of when I first came to Equestria. When everything was simpler and a little less chaotic.” You said, before chuckling. “But, uh, I guess things being less chaotic isn’t in my nature, huh?”
“Oh, Anon.” Fluttershy said with a gentle giggle. “Things are what you make them out to be. It’s like friendship, where the best of friends are those you keep close, no matter how far away they are. I think Twilight would say it’s a matter of perspective. And in my ‘perspective’, chaos isn’t really a bad thing. Sometimes, I quite like it.”
You let out a self disappointed sigh. “Even when I mess up royally?”
Fluttershy shuddered and cringed at those words. “Anon, t-the important thing is to never let something like that ever happen again. I trust you, I trust you completely, period. I know from now on, no matter how chaotic things are, you’ll do what’s right.” She then turns her head to look at you, and smiles. “I know you can do it.”
Well, that did feel pretty reassuring. You just nodded to her reluctantly, and went back to staring at the night sky as the stars began to dance about, scattering around like no one’s business.
“Anon, I’ve been meaning to ask this for a long time, but I never seem to get the chance.” Fluttershy said
Hm? “What is it, Aunt Fluttershy?”
“Well, I was wondering. What’s your dream? What kind of future do you think you’ll have?” Fluttershy asked. Huh, that question, you never really gave it too much thought before.
“Well, um, I dunno. I know, for the most part, ponies usually do what their cutie marks represent. But mine represents chaos itself. I guess that means anything can happen, and nothing is for certain, no matter how much I think about it. I dunno, I guess I just want to live happily. Maybe even have unlimited charges on my horn so I can do… Something. Look, I’m not saying I don’t have any skills besides blasting stuff, I just think I can do more than be a ‘hero colt’. Maybe I could open an arcade or something, see how everypony reacts to the kind of games I used to play. That could be cool.” You said, rambling along with your thoughts.
“That sounds like it can be fun! Though, I’m sure you have skills you’ve developed outside of your magic.” Fluttershy said, trying to encourage you. “Never let yourself feel limited by your father’s gift. You’re more than capable of realizing your dreams without it.”
“Uhm, I…” No you weren’t. You never reached your dreams as a human. Or technically, you reached an impossible dream by being here. Though, that was thanks to Discord’s insane plan that has run its course a long time ago. Outside of your magic, you’re not really capable of any technical skill. It actually kinda sucked. But, looking at Fluttershy, you couldn’t just tell her any of that, you didn’t want to upset her. You never wanted that. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I could become a carpenter or something, build my arcade the old fashioned way.”
“Oooooh, carpenter skills are very good. I’ve heard of carpenter ponies who can make a cabin shelter for themselves in an hour, and it’ll be sturdy too! If you apply yourself, I bet you could make the greatest arcade in all Equestria! I’ll even be your first customer! A-as long as none of the games are scary. Erm, well, actually, even if they were scary, I’d still be your first customer anyway. I’d, um, just close my eyes and see if I can win that way.” Fluttershy said. She seemed worried that human games could be frightening, but even if they were, she’d still be there for you.
“Yeah, erm, not all the games would be scary. I’m sure Equestria has some of the same games Earth has, like skee ball.” You said.
“Oh, we do have that. Now that’s a coincidence.” Fluttershy giggled to herself. “Sounds like a place that would be fun for everypony then. Oh, if there are games like that, maybe I could make a few suggestions. I know a few games that would be nice, safe, and fun! I bet they'd attract all kinds of customers!”
“Yeah, I’d like that. I’d want it to be an arcade anypony could come in and find the game they want to play. I know I don’t talk about my old life, but if I had one skill, it was video games. Er, I mean there are these crazy speedrunner guys and guys who can do no hit runs, but I think I’m pretty good. I feel like I can really make a cool gaming scene here in Equestria if I put my mind to it.” Man, that would be pretty rad, a whole generation of ponies and dragons and shit playing really good video games. And yet, why did you get the feeling others would see that as sort of cringe or bad? Bah, whatever, it's a good idea. “I bet I could even set some pretty legendary high scores other ponies would aspire to beat. You know, to be better than the ‘hero colt’. Though, heh, that could take a long time.”
Fluttershy smiled at you, reaching over with a wing to snuggle in the grass with you, while also having a giggle at your words. “That sounds like an amazing dream. But you better be careful, Anon, I’ve seen Big Mac play that machine you once left in the castle, and he was really good. I hope you won’t cry if somepony manages to beat one of your scores.”
Oh god, you remembered that. The machine was still in your room, even after it was smashed up, it always seems to be alright by the very next day, you just never interact with it anymore ever since Big Mac took the high scores. Fuck man, he got lucky, and it isn’t like anyone is going to be able to beat your score in the type of games you really play. “H-hey now, I didn’t even try to make a really big score in that game.”
“Oh?” Fluttershy gave you a sly little look. “Have you beaten his scores yet?”
…
“No…” Dammit…
Fluttershy hugged onto you and brought you onto her belly to snuggle with you as she booped your nose with her own, “Oh, Anon, don’t be sad, alright? I was only kidding. I’m not going to tease you like your father.” Fluttershy then kept you blanketed with her wings as she let out a content sigh. “How are you feeling, Anon?”
You let out a little yawn. “Tired, I guess, today has been really stressful. I… I dunno, I still don’t feel right about what happened with Yona.”
Fluttershy tensed at those words “I understand. I… Well, it scares me to even think about it. I’m glad Yona forgave you, and…” Fluttershy stopped herself, she actually had to think about her next words. She didn’t want to upset you, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t dealt with this kind of situation with her own friends before. But this was a problem that was repeating more often than she liked, and with much dire consequences. To her, you were a colt, and all of it was a mistake that you had to understand the gravity of at this point, she desperately wanted to believe that. “Anon, I want you to be honest with me. Right here, right now, and no lying, alright?”
Mnnnn… You had an idea of where this was going. “I promise. But… You want to ask me if there is anything else me or dad are hiding, right?”
“Yes.” Said Fluttershy, melancholy in her tone.
“As far as I know, no.” At least, when it came to anything dangerous. “The only one left would be Chrysalis, and I trust her. Nopony else lives at the house, and we aren’t doing anything dangerous anymore. I promise, if anything does happen, I’ll tell you.”
“Thank you, Anon.” Fluttershy said as she hugged you close. She could feel you tense up, and how could you not? You wanted to get this all out of your head, you just wanted this one last chance. You wondered how upset some of the others were. Hell, you had to wonder if this gave Applejack any ammunition against you. Not like you could blame her this time, since she has to think about Applebloom.
Fluttershy began to hum, a very gentle melody, as she held you close. She wanted to relax you with her song, as she felt any more words on the subject would bother you more. She felt content with your promise, and that you would honor it. She wanted to take care of you, she wanted to make sure you were alright, and weren’t scarred by the situation. You could feel yourself tearing up some as you snuggled tight on her. Even if it really wasn’t night time, you just wanted to sleep, to shake off these ill feelings.
For once, you wanted to see all your friends tomorrow, to know everything was fine between you and them.
You would show them that this time, finally, you understood.
Months had passed since that time with Yona, Jimmy, the spirit. All of it. You managed to avoid the overall subject of it thus far, especially with Starlight having been so inquisitive. But even then, nothing else had really happened since that day. Chrysalis has managed to keep to herself, to the point that it was impressive that Twilight had been receiving monthly letters from Shining out of paranoia while Chrysalis was finding it cool and calm as a hermit, always enjoying an occasional visit from you, Diamond, or Scrappy. She wasn't keen on seeing Fluttershy just yet, but you were sure you could come up with something to soften her to the idea.
You’ve managed to avoid trouble with the mane six thus far, just keeping to your schoolwork while doing your best to keep your chaos to either private matters or a not so dangerous little adventure.
Diamond’s sword skills had improved greatly, she really committed to learning how to use a blade so she could adventure at your side. Much to your chagrin, she always seemed willing to go heroing with you, even if you weren’t doing much heroing these days. Ah well, it was better this way, to be honest. You didn’t want to cause any more problems, and the lack of trouble was relaxing, to say the least.
Yep, life was good.
“Okay, team! Listen up! Because I’m only going to say this once: Like, does anypony have a good plan? We’re out of options here.” Diamond said as she slumped into the snow.
Yep, somehow you, the crusaders, your school friends, and Diamond and Silver Spoon had somehow gotten into a three-way snowball war with each other. Team one consisted of Silverstream, Sweetie Belle, Ocellus, and Silver Spoon. The problem with this is that this particular team had three team members with varying degrees of construction skill. As in, they had somehow made a huge tower of a snow fort that was nigh impenetrable.
Team two was Yona, Applebloom, Gallus, and Sandbar. Now, the problem with this team was the same as the first, except their fort was more like an actual snow fort with huge snow walls covering them in a circle.
Then there was you, Scoots, Diamond, and Smolder. Turns out Scoots is the only one with any kind of construction knowledge when it came to snow, and it wasn't really useful in this instance. So you four basically had a rinky dinky little frontal wall, and a trench, which could be plowed through if Yona’s team decided to go on the offensive.
Oddly enough, despite making concessions for her, Cozy didn’t want to play, instead opting to be referee to make sure no flying or magic was used in the war.
“Yeah, I got nothing. Dragons aren’t exactly the best with snow. Y’know, because we breathe fire. Can’t use my wings, so that’s no good. Anon, you couldn’t have picked Yona or something?” Smolder asked, grumbling, knowing you all were sitting ducks.
“C’mon, guys, just because they have better forts than us doesn’t mean they can beat us in an actual fight. Look, let me just take a peek anFSDFSD” The moment you poked your head above the snow wall, you got decked with snowballs by Ocellus’s entire team, sending you backwards into the snow.
“Sorry, Anon! But you shouldn’t have poked your head out!” Silverstream yelled out.
Diamond, in shock that you took so many hits, started barking towards them from behind the wall. “Silver Spoon, you traitor! You hit my Anon!”
“Sorry!” Silver genuinely apologized, yelling from the top of the snow tower. “We’re on different teams! I had to do it!”
Scootaloo sighed, her wings flittering as she began to ponder on the situation. “This is tough. How are we even supposed to get near them without getting hit?”
“No clue. And Gallus and the others haven’t done anything for awhile now, they’re probably planning something. But what?” Smolder said, almost daring to take a peek, but resisting the urge.
Diamond helped you up as she wiped the snow off your face, bitter about the whole situation. “Well, that’s the problem. We can’t take either of them on from here anyway. Their tower is too big, and Applebloom’s team is probably planning something big to take us all out.” Diamond then stomped her hoof in anger. “I didn’t come out here to lose first! Maybe second, but totally not first!”
You slowly stood up, wiping your face to remove the rest of the snow as you began to think. How would you do this? What big brained trope can you think of to let you win the day?
“Anon, do you have a plan?” Diamond asked, giving you a gentle nuzzle.
“Uh… um… er… mmmmmm…” Dammit. “No. Without magic or flight, we’re kinda doomed over here.”
“No kidding, these rules are kinda lame.” Smolder complained, crossing her arms in frustration. “All I’d have to do is breathe on that tower once and they’d all go down.”
“Not like we can even get close without all of them pelting us with snowballs.” You groaned. This sucked, even at a disadvantage, this should have been easy!
“Yeah, every time any of us poke our head out, we keep getting hit! If one of us could throw Anon, then maybe we could knock the tower down.” Scootaloo said
“Are you saying my Anon is hard headed?!” Diamond said, her nostrils flaring with steam as she stomped towards Scootaloo.
“W-what?! N-no! I just mean his head is super hard and durable! That’s all! A good throw could knock down a real tower, that’s how tough he is!” Scootaloo said with a nervous chuckle. “L-look, it isn’t like we can just dig under them and pop up through the top. We’d have to be some sort of diamond dog or… Wait.” Scootaloo’s eyes slowly fell upon Smolder as she began to hatch a plan. “Spike can dig pretty good because of his claws, right? Smolder, what about you? Couldn’t you dig through the snow really easily?”
“I could, but making a deep hole isn’t going to do us any good. They’ll just toss snow at us like one of those buckball baskets.” Smolder said
“No, not a hole. I was thinking we dig right under the tower, then through it. Trust me, I build ramps for my scooter all the time. And if you have a bad foundation, the whole thing will fall apart. We just knock 'em down and ambush them from under the snow. WHAM! They won’t know what hit them!”
“Wow.” Diamond was blown away by that plan. “That could totally work. No flying allowed, right? So they have to fall down. They won’t see it coming. I almost feel bad that we’re going to totally thrash Silver Spoon too.” But then Diamond shrugged. “All’s fair in love and snow wars.”
“Look, I’d hate to be ‘that dragon’, but I can bet that Yona’s team is waiting for something. They haven’t really done anything since they built that fort. Who’s to say they won’t attack us while we’re taking down Ocellus’s team?” Smolder said, sitting down as she pokes her claws through the snow lightly. “It all seems fishy to me.”
“Well, we’ll be deep in the snow thanks to you, Smolder. So if they try anything, we can ambush them too.” Scootaloo said with a nod, sure that the plan would work.
“Yeah, I guess.” Smolder said with a shrug as she smashed her fist into her palm. “Dunno why I even got worried. With me on the team, they won’t know what hit 'em!”
“But what about after we take down Sweetie Belle’s team? Or what if Sweetie's team notices what we're up to? No, we can’t take the chance of a counter attack.” Diamond said, hitting her right foreleg onto her hoof. She looked towards their fort, determined to win at any cost. “We’re gonna need bait. We need somepony to be a distraction so they don’t notice what we’re trying to do.” Diamond then looks at Scootaloo. “Scootaloo, you’re bait.”
“Me?! Why me?!” She asked, astonished. "It was my plan!"
“Well, me and Anon are a team. And Smolder is the one getting us to Sweetie Belle’s snow tower thing. So it has to be you.” Diamond said, nodding to how smart she thought she sounded.
“Well, why can’t you be bait then? Everypony pays attention to you no matter what!” Scootaloo argued
“True, but again, Anon needs me. So that makes you ‘it’.” Diamond retorted.
But you were deep in thought. Bait. Normally, you’d want the glory of a battle like this. But to mess with Sweetie Belle and Ocellus without fear of repercussions? Being a better colt is one thing; thus far, you have managed that. But you knew you could also get away with what you were planning long enough for the rest of your team to knock that tower down. You look towards Diamond, and point to yourself. “I’ll be bait.”
“What?!” Everyone said in surprise.
“Anon! B-but, but, you can’t be bait! You’re my coltfriend, and the hero colt! Hero coltfriends aren't bait!” She said, already pouting.
“...Unless he has a plan. Anon, what’s up, why are you agreeing to be bait?” Scootaloo asked, intrigued as to why you’d volunteer.
“Trust me, guys. I can make sure you guys get where you need to be without anycreature noticing.” You give a coy smirk towards Diamond. “Diamond, look at me, how could anycreature resist my charm?”
“Nocreature can do that!” Diamond said, before making a scowl. “But they better try.”
“Actually, I think I know where this one is going.” Smolder said as she put her claw to her hip and gave you a half lidded look. “You’re gonna make them angry, aren’t you?”
“Close, but I don’t think I’d be able to throw off Silverstream like that. I don’t even think she can be angry. So I got something else in mind. Look, Smolder, just get to digging. Diamond, I need you to smack me.” You lean in close and point to your face. “Right here.”
Diamond nods, and smashes your face with her hoof, sending you onto the ground.
“O-oww! W-what the?! Geez! You didn’t even think about it! You just hit me!” Crap, you were caught off guard. She just smashed your face in without even hesitating.
“W-what?! You said to do that, Anon! You said to trust you! Of course I’m going to do it if you’re telling me to trust you!” Diamond barked. “Why would you tell me to do that if you didn’t want me to do that!?”
“Ngh, I mean, I did. I j-just didn’t get a chance to get ready!” You said, slowly getting up as you rub your face.
“Hmph, then next time tell me you need to get ready first!” Diamond said.
“I-I, I… I mean…” You didn’t even know what to say to that. You probably should have counted or something, fucking christ.
“Well, that happened. Hey, Scootaloo, was Anon always like this?” Smolder asked as she began to dig.
“You mean weird? Yeah, Anon has always been kinda nutty. But I wouldn’t have him any other way. Unless he starts being mean, then I kinda just wanna walk away from him for a while. Otherwise, he can be pretty great.” Scootaloo said as she slowly began to follow Smolder.
“...Anon, why did you ask me to hit you, anyway? What’s your plan?” Diamond asked, unable to fathom the genius of your plan.
“It’s complicated, Diamond. I don’t really have time to explain it. Look, you do what you do best and show them that power, that… Er, well, did this.” You pointed to the hoofmark on your face. “Got it?”
Diamond frowned and slowly brought up her hoof to gently feel the mark she left on your face. “I’m really sorry, Anon, I didn’t mean to hit you that hard.”
“No, no, it’s perfect. It’s gonna sell what I got planned. C’mon, Diamond, don’t worry. Now hurry up, before they start wondering what we’re planning.” You tell her as you give her a gentle kiss on the nose.
She blushed, stunned for a second. She then nodded, looking determined to follow through with your plan. “Alright, I’ll go. But if you mess up, I’m going to ask Mother to dress you up to her standards for a family dinner. And, Anon, that can take literal LITERAL hours. Got it?”
Oh… geez. “E-erm, trust me, I got this.” You sure hope so.
With that, Diamond began to follow Scootaloo and Smolder into the deepening snow tunnel. As for you? It was showtime.
“GYAGH!” You yelled out as you jumped as hard as you could, backwards, as if you took a gigantic hit to your face. You did, but you had to ham it up. “Geez, Diamond! OW! Ow ow ow ow ow!” You yelled out as you brought you hooves to your face as Ocellus’s entire team popped their heads out from above their tower to gaze at you.
Silverstream, despite being your opponent, gasped in fright when you fell backwards and into sight. “Anon! Oh no! He’s hurt! Anon, are you okay!?”
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes as she muttered “Oh, brother.” She then gazed at you, skeptical of what was going on. “Okay, Anon, what happened? What are you planning?”
“Huh? Oh geez! I didn’t know she could hit me that hard!” You said as you looked up at them. “What do you think happened? Diamond let me have it. Geez, she’s stronger than she looks.”
Silver Spoon gave you an awkward look, and narrowed her eyes as she adjusted her glasses. “Wait a second… Something isn’t right. You’re telling me Diamond hit you?” Silver Spoon scoffed. “As if. She’d never hit you. He’s totally lying, guys. I bet he expects us to let him up here so he can sabotage us! Nice try, Anon, but that isn’t going to work. I’m onto you.” Silver then yells out to your dinky snow fort. “It was a good try though!”
“Look really hard at my face.” You said, pointing to where Diamond hit you. “Do you think I’m making this up?”
“Hmmm…” Sweetie peered harder at you, trying to figure out how you managed to get that mark. “It does look pretty real. But I’m with Silver Spoon on this one. Why would Diamond just hit you like that? It doesn’t make any sense.”
You sighed, pretending as if your hand was forced. “Look, all I said was that her butt was like two perfect snowballs put together and then she decked me. I was complimenting her!”
Silverstream tilted her head in confusion. “Would the Hero Colt say something like that?”
Ocellus sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t wish to sound mean, but Anon would say something like that. It does make sense.”
Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle just looked at each other in astonishment, both letting out a “huh…”
“Yeah, so. I’m just going to go back to my fort now and make up with her. I mean, you guys wouldn’t take advantage of me right now, would you?” You asked, acting timid.
“Oh no no! We would never! Right, guys?” Silverstream said as she looked over at her teammates. “That’d be unfair, right?”
“Oh, no no, we would.” Sweetie said as she prepped her snowball.
“I don’t want to make Diamond mad, but I kinda really wanna win.” Silver Spoon said as she raised her snowball.
“Our odds would increase if we make Anon give up.” Ocellus deduced as she prepared to pepper you with snowballs.
“Well… If everycreature else is okay with it.” Suddenly, there was a crazy glint in Silverstream’s eye as she suddenly gave you a cheerful but scary look. “Then I guess I’m okay with it too! Don’t worry, Anon! I won’t consider this a real loss for you! It’s just a game!”
Oh shit… You thought you could distract them a little longer than that, but it seemed they were all determined to win the war.
“W-wow, so that’s how it is, huh?” You began to pout and make the most pathetic face you could muster. “You all hate me that much?”
Silverstream dropped her snowball as she looked to her teammates in sudden panic. “He thinks we hate him?! Why didn’t any of you tell me that!” She then looks at you and tries to calm you down. “A-Anon! It’s just a game, right?! We didn’t mean to make it look like we hate you! We didn’t, right?” She looked to her team again, with deep worry.
“What?! No, we don’t hate him!” Sweetie Belle said in a slight panic, until it suddenly hit her. “Wait! And Anon wouldn’t normally just think that too! Girls, I think he’s trying to trick us!”
“Or distract us…” Ocellus surmised. “Wait, does he want us to hit him? Looking at their fort, there’s no way they could just ambush us from there. Something is wrong.”
“Then he can’t be trying to distract us. If I know Diamond, she wouldn’t let Anon be bait. Could you imagine? Anon is totally not bait. I think he was totally telling the truth.” Silver Spoon said, coming to her own conclusion.
“Okay then… So is he bait? Or is he telling the truth? I’m so confused, I didn’t know a snow war could be so confusing. When it comes to wars, we hippogriffs just fight with big armies and cool tactics. And if we lose, we just run away! But all this snow war stuff? I just do-” Suddenly, Silverstream stops speaking when she notices a feeling under her talons. “Hey, girls, did you feel that?”
“Feel what?” Sweetie Belle asked?
“No, Silverstream is right. Do you feel that? Something is definitely off.” Ocellus said as she began to look around. “I think I felt something anyway.”
“Anon, are you che- No, he doesn't have his horn on. Woah, wait! Gah! The snow, it's coming apart! Eeek!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as the snow tower fort began to crumble from the center.
“Ack! What’s going o-AHHH!” Silver Spoon could barely get a word out before falling into the crumbling center.
“That’s impossible! I made sure to build this fort toGAH!” Ocellus yelled out as she too fell.
Silverstream just shrugged, and happily dove into the growing hole, feeling that, if her whole team was going to fall in, she might as well too. “I still don’t get it! Wheeee!”
They ended up being buried within their own fort. Then, as you noticed them slowly poking their heads out, you could already see three other spots around them begin to shake about. Those spots had to be where your teammates were coming out for an ambush. You quickly rushed upwards and prepared to attack.
Eventually, Sweetie Belle and her team managed to pop out of the snow, dazed and confused. Sweetie Belle herself just started wiping snow from her head and tried to figure out what just happened. “G-girls? Hello? What happened?”
“I-I don’t know, I don’t underEEEK!” Suddenly, out of nowhere, Diamond and the rest of the team quickly popped out of the snow. With a shriek of “ATTACK!”, they all began to pelt Sweetie’s team's faces with snowballs.
You rushed up to Sweetie herself and turned away from her, just quickly using your hindlegs to kick snow at her as fast as you could. Eventually, after the air filled with shrieks, they were finally calling for a surrender.
Ah, that was pretty excellent, to be honest. With Ocellus’s team defeated, you all decided to be good sports and dig them out of their holes so they could sit out on the sidelines. Ocellus was actually pretty impressed with the strategy used, as she didn’t think in a million years that you and your team would use such advanced tactics. Silverstream was probably the most okay with losing, it was almost like she didn’t realize she lost. Silver Spoon of course wouldn’t let herself be upset in Diamond’s presence, and Diamond herself didn’t act too arrogant about it towards her. And Sweetie Belle, surprisingly, had no hard feelings towards you, and was pretty impressed you could still be so tricky. Well, of course, you have the power of pure ingenuity. E-even if it was Scootaloo’s plan mostly.
“Yes! We did it! That was amazing!” Scootaloo cheered
“Yeah, that was awesome! Good plan, Scootaloo.” Smolder said as she shook her claws to warm them up. “It was really cool. Seriously, my claws are freezing. Kinda surprised Ocellus didn’t figure out what we were up to.”
“Of course you’re surprised.” Diamond said, an arrogant tone in her voice. “My Anon was the one who kept her distracted, remember? He was an awesome distraction! How’d you do it, Anon? You had to have a real silver tongue to be able to trick them all. In fact, I bet you made them believe you were switching sides.”
You shifted your eyes for a moment, as you realized if you told her the truth, she’d probably slap you. But if you didn’t, she’d find out from Silver Spoon. Oh boy, there was no way to avoid this one… “Erm, Uh… I told them I liked your butt.”
“What?!” They all said, looking at you in surprise.
“What do you mean you like my butt?!” Diamond said, embarrassed more than anything else, though you couldn’t tell what exactly she was embarrassed about. Well, you knew somewhat, but you couldn’t tell if it was the butt thing in general or the fact you said she had a nice butt.
“Erm, it was a trick, remember? I, uh, had to distract them.” You said, awkwardly shrugging.
“Oh, right. Wow, that was distracting, no wonder it worked so well.” Diamond said, not knowing if she should be impressed or utterly confused.
“Well, that’s one team down anyway. But what’s up with Applebloom’s team? They still haven’t made a move yet.” Scootaloo said as she looked back at the high walls of Applebloom’s fort.
“Hey, yeah, they have been awfully quiet. I bet they saw what we did to Ocellus’s team and got scared.” Smolder said arrogantly.
“Nah, I don’t think so.” No, that couldn’t be it, Yona wouldn’t be the type to give up. “It’s weird. You’d think they’d have attacked us from behind, or something.”
“Hmmmm. Hey, I got it! Smolder, toss me really high up, okay? Maybe I can see what they’re up to.” Scootaloo said.
“Now that’s a good plan. Alright…” Smolder said, as she began to flex her arms some. “Just let us know if they spot you in the air, okay? I don’t want to go down by some stupid rushdown.”
“Gotcha! Alright, now let me fly!” Scootaloo shouted as Smolder gripped her and chucked her high up as her wings began to flap.
Scootaloo, instead of descending slowly, just began to fall fast. To the point Smolder had to jump to catch her. “GRHGDFG… Ngh, Hey! What gives! It’s not cheating if you flap your wings, remember? You can’t fly!”
But Scootaloo was still silent.
What the hell…?
“Scoots! What’s up, what did you see?!” Holy hell, she looked pale as hell. What the hell happened?
“They’re… T-they’re all down, covered in snow, they’re already down.” Scootaloo said in a chilling tone.
You all looked at each other in worry. Was it a trap? Was it true? You looked upwards, and saw that Cozy was still flying around, presumably monitoring the situation. She would have called you all the winners if they were down.
“Alright, we’re through!” Smolder said as she dug through the wall of Applebloom’s fort, cautiously looking around. “Woah… Scootaloo wasn’t kidding, this place looks like it was hit bad.” Smolder commented. The inner part of the fort looked like there was a one-sided battle you all somehow didn’t notice, perhaps due to having to deal with Ocellus’s team.
“Are you sure they’re not faking it? I swear, if we lose because we decided to just walk into a trap, then I’m gonna get really really angry.” Diamond said, skeptical of the whole situation.
You were silently looking around. If they faked it, it's a damned good fake. You should have probably called to Cozy first and asked her what was up. But the fact she hadn’t declared a winner yet meant she’d probably not be willing to give your team any sort of information that’d lead to an advantage. “Anycreature want to go see if anycreature is okay? Only way to be sure this isn’t a trap is to check up on them.”
“...I’ll do it.” Scootaloo said with a gulp. She reluctantly stepped past all of you, but before she could get any further, Smolder gently grabbed her by the shoulder of her leg to stop her. “Wha, huh?”
“Let me do it.” She said as she grabbed a handful of snow. “If any of them try anything, I’ll just shove some snow right into their faces. This is still a war, and this dragon isn’t going down that easy.”
“A-are you sure?” Scootaloo asked “I can do it, really! We can’t lose you, Smolder, you’re our toughest teammate.”
“Yeah yeah…” Smolder said dismissively while hiding a smirk. “Which is why I said I’ll fill their faces full of snow if they try anything. Look, let me just get close to Sandbar over there. If he tries anything, I’ll knock him down real quick.”
Damn, Smolder taking one for the team on this one. You didn’t know if you inspired her or if she was just looking out for Scootaloo. Either way, you kept an eye on her as you prepped your hooves to toss snowballs. Whatever happened here, something wasDFDGFHGFH. “Gyah!” Suddenly, out of nowhere, you hear Applebloom greet you from behind as you fall forward on your face.
“Wha? Hey! Applebloom?!” Diamond said in surprise as she immediately grabbed a snowball and stood at the ready. “Stand back, or else I’ll clobber you. Anon is mine, remember?”
“Relax, Diamond Tiara.” Applebloom said with an eye roll. “We all already surrendered. We got ambushed while y’all were takin’ out Sweetie Belle’s team.”
“What? What do you mean you surrendered? None of us did anything to you.” Scootaloo said in surprise.
Wait a second…
You spit up the snow that got in your mouth and immediately pointed at Applebloom. Something was amiss. “Hold on there! Do you think we’re that dumb? There’s only three teams, Applebloom! You’re not gonna get the jump on us!”
Applebloom just gave you a stoic stare. “Ah already got the jump on ya, Anon.”
Your eye twitched in frustration at those words. “Okay… Still not falling for it.”
“Hey, guys!” Smolder called out as she helped keep Sandbar up, slowly walking up to you all. “They already surre-Oh, never mind, I guess Applebloom already told you what’s up.”
“See, told ya.” Applebloom said with a smirk.
“Oh, don’t even. How does that even make sense? There’s only three teams.” You said, trying to remind everyone.
“No! No! They came from out of nowhere! They got Gallus, then Yona! Then me!” Sandbar said in fright. “He said he’d crash a starship into my house if I refused to surrender. I don’t even know what that is! Gyaaah!” Sandbar yelled out in fright before passing out in Smolder’s arms.
“Oooookay.” Smolder said awkwardly as she just let Sandbar hit the ground. “Anycreature wanna explain what that meant? All I know is there’s another team, but I don’t know anything about starships or whatever he just said.”
“What’s a starship?” Diamond asked.
…Oh god…
“Scrappy?!” You shouted out to Applebloom. “Him?! Since when?! We didn’t agree to that!”
“Well, um, when he heard you were going to have a snow war with us, he went all the way to the school and asked Cozy if it’d be okay if he could play too. Didn’t even know about it 'til today really. But he really got us good, Anon, got us all by surprise,” Applebloom said with a grin.
“Uhhhhh, what? So Scrappy even took you out? That doesn’t sound like him.” Scootaloo noted.
“Well, actually, he kinda just stood there holding a snowball, shakin’ and stuff. When he closed his eyes and tossed his snowball, he started cryin’, didn't even know he missed me. I felt so bad for him ah just let myself fall and covered maself in snow.” Applebloom said.
“Yup, that sounds like Scrappy alright, he just couldn’t do it against you, huh?” Scootaloo said, having a light chuckle.
“Hold it!” Diamond shouted. “It doesn’t matter now! We’re this close to winning and you’re out of the game, Applebloom. And besides, your pet shouldn’t even count! He doesn’t even have a team!”
“Oh, er, he kinda does. He got Snips and Snails on his team.” Applebloom explained.
Wut? “Are you serious?! How did he get them?!”
“Well, he did need a team. And I think he told them that he’d lead them to victory against ‘the evil hero colt’ in the name of glory… Or somethin’ like that. He already whispered to me that he’s just showin’ the true might of the Apple family. And, er, promised to punish himself for hitting me with a snowball. Kinda feel even more bad now, since he didn't hit me and all.” Applebloom said, feeling bad about the whole situation.
“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me that little changeling did this? Like, the one that’s always a dog? I find that a little hard to believe, considering there’s no way he could take out Yona.” Smolder said in disbelief.
“Well, Scrappy was kinda the captain of the whole changeling army, and he’s amazin’ at chess. When it comes to strategy, he’s second to none. Considerin’ he managed to get Snips and Snails to listen to him, means a lot. And ya definitely gotta watch out for Snails too, all that buckball made him some kind of a snowball pro.” Applebloom explained.
…Well then. Four versus three. Somehow, Scrappy and the dumbtastic duo managed to take out freaking Yona. Then again, Sandbar seems to be kinda a pussy and Gallus probably got blindsided really easily. But your team? None of you would be taken out that easily. Smolder was tough, Scootaloo was quick, Diamond was tenacious, and you, of course, were a genius. There’s no way Scrappy can win against you.
Also, getting Snips and Snails to listen to him was tough? What the heck was Applebloom on?
“Huh, okay then. So what do we do now? Do we wait? Or do we go looking for him?” Smolder asked.
“Trust me, you don’t want to wait for him.” Gallus said. He had apparently gotten up and was already spreading his wings to fly off to where Ocellus was. “That goofy looking unicorn, and that changeling guy throws snowballs faster than any griffon can. That other guy? I’d get him first, he didn’t really do anything but distract us.”
“Yes, Yona admits Yona was distracted by him.” Yona said. She had apparently picked up the fallen Sandbar and had him on his back. “Yona thought it was silly trick, so Yona laugh. Then snowballs fly down like rain! Yona impressed, Anon’s team might be doomed. But good luck anyway!” She said with a wave as she walked off, just walking through the snow wall of the fort like it was no big deal.
“If ya guys do win, can ya maybe not be so hard on Scrappy? He was really hurtin’ when he thought he took me down.” Applebloom asked, mainly looking at Scootaloo.
“C’mon, Applebloom, it’ll be fine. I’m sure Scrappy understands it’s just a game.” Scootaloo assured her.
“It was a game. Maaaaybe I can stand losing to him, but Snips and Snails? That’s not happening, think of my reputation!” Diamond said, unwilling to back down from this.
“Oh, well, erm, you can stomp them two with snowballs all ya want. Just be gentle with Scrappy, okay?” Applebloom asked, pleading a little with all of you.
Smolder let out a big sigh. “Okay, I guess I can do that. But isn’t he, like, crazy about winning and honor and all that? He’s not gonna be too sore when we trounce him, is he?”
Applebloom didn’t know how to answer that one. Scootaloo let out a sigh, and answered herself. “He’s gonna be pretty sore about it. Now I feel bad about all this.”
You knew he’d be sore if he lost, but you also know he’d be much worse than you ever were if he won. Probably prancing about how victorious he is. “Look, I’m not gonna hold back just because he might feel bad. You win some, you lose some. So if he’s going to bring his best, then I’m bringing mine. He’s going down!”
“Geez, Anon, you don’t need to sound like you’re into it.” Scootaloo said.
“Oh come on, Scootaloo, it’s a war!” Diamond said, defending you. “It’s him or us! It’s not like we’re gonna hold it over him. We’re just totally gonna kick his butt!”
“I mean, Diamond has a point. Plus we all know Scrappy would never let me live it down if he thrashed me. I actually think you’re not being fair right now.” You explain, not wanting to be seen as mean when you were actually fucking right.
Scootaloo’s muzzle curled, she shifted her eyes, and finally gave in. “Okay, he would. Alright alright, it is a war. You’re fine with all that. Right, Applebloom?”
“Ah understand. Like ah said, just don’t be mean to the little guy, okay?” Applebloom pleaded.
“I got it, I got it. Trust me, Applebloom, it’ll be alright. Okay? I promise when we win, we won’t lord it over him. “ You assure her.
“If ya win.” Applebloom says with a wink. “Good luck, ya’ll. You’re gonna need it.” She said as she walked off to follow her teammates.
“Okay, so I have a plan. I say we just stick together, and smash them with snow the moment they show up.” Smolder suggests. “Scrappy is pretty scrawny, and he’s not going to be able to do much with two colts on his team.”
“Snips and Snails are pretty bad.” Diamond remarks. “So it sounds like a plan to me. So where are they? You think they’re afraid of us?”
“Um, probably not.” Scootaloo says. “I don’t think Scrappy is afraid of anything.”
“Then let’s find them and take them out. Stick together, everycreature. And keep your eyes open.” You knew how tenacious Scrappy was. Deep down, you knew he was a threat. He managed to take down Applebloom’s whole team, probably by himself. There was no way Snips and Snails were that useful.
Speaking of.
“Hahaha! Well well well, if it isn’t the hero colt that has denied us our heroship!” Came a rather annoying voice from atop the fort’s walls.
“Uh, Snips, you’re not still mad about that, are you?” Snails asked, standing next to Snips.
“Of course I am! And you should be too! We could have been super duper big! Like, bigger than Trixie!” Snips shouted back at Snails.
“I guess, eh. So, do we attack right now?” Snails asked.
“No, not yet. Stick to the plan.” Snips whispered back.
“Ah geez, seriously?! Okay, you two, why don’t you just surrender now and I won’t have to come up there and kick your butts.” Seriously? He was still butthurt after all this time?! You thought he stopped caring about it.
“Ha!” Snips scoffed. “You’re all outclassed, outmatched, and, uh, outbeaten! And you, Anon, you’ll feel the fullgSFGFDGGYAH!” Suddenly, out of nowhere, Diamond Tiara threw a snowball, hard, into Snips's face, knocking him off the fort wall backwards with a yell. “Snails, avenge me!”
“Threaten my Anon, will you? Totally still a doofus. What about you, huh? You want some of this?!” Diamond threatened.
Snails just silently stared at her, then he turned to look over the wall, down at Snips. Then he turned to face all of you as he seemed to suddenly enter some sort of calm state. He then all gave you all a dumb smile as he simply stated “Okay.”
“Well, this is gonna be easy. Alright, guys, stand back, I got this.” With two snowballs in hand, Smolder spins and throws them both right at Snails.
Snails, in a blink of an eye, manages to actually catch the snowballs within his hooves and quickly smashes them down under himself. He then resumes his stance, continuing that dumb look.
“What? How did he… Okay, time to get serious!” Smolder quickly started scooping up as many snowballs as she could and began to throw them as hard as she could. But with near otherworldly skill, Snails managed to catch them all and slam them down, making the part of the wall he was under ever so higher.
Diamond tilted her head in confusion. “What is going on?”
Scootaloo slowly stepped forward, narrowing her eyes. “Scrappy? No, it can’t be him. How did Snails suddenly get so good?”
It couldn’t be because of Buckball, was it? He can’t be that good. “Screw it! Everycreature grab some snowballs and bring him down!” You were not going to lose to fucking Snails. You already lost to these idiots once before, and, for what THAT was worth, that didn’t count! “ATTACK!”
And with that, everyone started to grab snowballs and tried to bring down Snails. But, as much as you hate to admit it, he was godlike. Dodging the snowballs with ease as he caught the ones that got really close, throwing them down to make the wall he stood on higher and higher, until you all couldn’t throw hard enough to reach him anymore.
“Okay…” Smolder said, holding on to her knees as she panted. “Maybe I can see how they took down Yona now. But that isn’t even the changeling guy, right? Who is he?”
“It doesn’t matter! Just..” You threw another snowball, which didn’t even reach halfway up the wall he created. “Okay, nevermind.” You then looked up and began to angrily yell at Snails. “Hey! What are you doing, anyway?! What are you up to?”
Snails just looked down at you, and shrugged.
“Don’t shrug at me! Snails, I swear to whatever gods are actually in Equestria, I’ll slaughter you if you don’t come down from there!” You shouted, furious that he managed to deflect all the snowballs tossed at him. You were not going to lose, not to them!
Snails just shrugged again, as if waiting for something.
“SNAILS! DON’T MAKE ME USE MY HORN!” You angrily yelled, yielding no results.
“A-Anon! I-it’s okay, don’t get mad.” Diamond said as she came to console you, before looking up at Snails with even more fury than even you. “SNAILS! YOU MADE MY ANON MAD! DO YOU HEAR ME?! FORGET CHAOS MAGIC, I’LL MAKE SURE MISS CHEERILEE BURIES YOU IN CLASSWORK! DO YOU HEAR ME?!”
Snails just dumbly looked down, and shouted at all of you. “I haven’t been able to hear anything any of you said since I got up here. Sorry.”
Smolder just rolled her eyes and walked up to the wall. Scootaloo, noticing this, called out to her. “Smolder, what’s up?”
Smolder didn’t answer, she just walked up to the wall, looked at her claws as she flexed them, then swiped at the wall three times. In a near instant, the wall began to quake as Snails began to lose his footing. In the next moment, the wall fell backwards, Snails screaming from up high while Snips yelled from behind the falling wall. The entire area shook as everything came crashing down.
“I couldn’t take that anymore.” Smolder said as she looked at all of you, frustrated. “I don’t even know who they were and I feel like burning this entire place down… Erm, y’know, if snow can burn.”
Woah… That was easy.
Smolder, noticing the silence of all of you, smirked as she rubbed her claws on her chest and blew on them. “C’mon guys, don’t gawk, this is just me being the best dragon around.”
“No kidding.” You were pretty impressed. “Good work, Smolder. So we win, right? I don’t see Scrappy anywhere.”
“Well, we should win. If he’s hiding and he’s the only one left, that should mean we won.” Diamond said, as she began to bounce a snowball on her hoof. “He probably knows not to mess with us!”
“Uh, guys? Is the ground still supposed to be shaking like this?” Scootaloo asked.
Wha? Hey, the ground really was shaking. What the… OH SHIT!
Suddenly, crashing through the fallen fort walls, was a giant snowball speedily rolling towards all of you, catching you all by surprise. Smolder didn’t even get a chance to react as it rolled over her first. Scootaloo jumped out of the way while calling to her. You? It almost seemed like the snowball was heading right towards you.
“ANON!” Shouted Diamond, she used all her strength to jump towards you and push you out of the way as the snowball engulfed her.
“W-ngh… D-DIAMOND!” You shouted back as you slowly began to stand, but the snowball was already rolling away. You swore you saw a dark figure jump from the top as the snowball crashes into a nearby tree and becomes a pile of snow mush with Smolder and Diamond inside.
“Two down, two to go.” Said a mysterious but familiar voice as the dark figure landed in front of you and Scootaloo.
“S-Scrappy?” Scootaloo cautiously called out to it.
“That’s right!” Scrappy said. For some reason, he wasn’t in his dog form, he wasn’t even in his colorful form. He was… How he used to look. “Prepare yourselves for defeat! Because I WILL BE DEFEATING YOU!”
“Scrappy!” You shouted angrily. “What are you doing?! What the heck was that?!” You said as you pointed at the snow pile with Smolder and Diamond. “I hope you know I was planning on showing you some mercy. But now? Oh no, that’s not happening now.”
Scrappy smirked as he shook his ass, as if he was ready to pounce. “Good, that’s what I wanted to hear. Glory is nothing without a good fight! And there will be glory. Oh yes, there will be a lot of glory. So much glory!”
Scootaloo, however, seemed to be more worried about him than anything else. “Scrappy! What’s wrong with you?! You could have hurt somepony! Why… Why do you look like your old self? What’s going on?”
Scrappy suddenly flinched as his ears curled back, He suddenly looked so subdued. “S-Scootaloo, no no! I’m not my old self. This is just a form I’m taking for this war. I didn’t mean to scare you! I-I hope I didn’t scare Master Applebloom. B-but, I-I…” But suddenly his gaze hardened as his bravado returned to him. “I have to win this fight, no matter what. Sadly, even Master Applebloom had to feel my might.”
“But why? Scrappy, why did you make your own team in secret? What kind of glory are you talking about?” Scootaloo asked, trying to plead with him.
“A very important one, one of much much honor. You see, I didn’t even want to fight at first, because I am a pet, first and foremost. I know everypony tells me differently, but I am a pet to the Apples just as I am forever my Queen’s captain. This war though, I fight for one, and only one. She told me I was more than just a pet, that I could handle any of you any day of the week if I wanted to, and that I should want to play too. This pony, I realized, she wasn’t talking about me. She was trying to convince herself. She’s grown too old for wars, her body cannot handle it any longer. I know the truth. THE TRUTH! So, for this war, I’ll tell you who I fight for.” Scrappy looked under his wings. Under them was tucked away a small pole. He grabbed it and stabbed it into the snow. It extended, and a green flag bearing the face of… Oh no…
“GRANNY SMITH! I WILL AVENGE YOUR HONOR!” He shouted as the flag flew high upon the pole.
You just stood there in horrid awe, silent, eye twitching. All that, all of that, just for her?! He got the two knuckleheads and rolled down a giant snow boulder because of her?!
Scootaloo started to tear up and smile, to her, that sounded sweet. “Awww, Scrappy. That’s really nice of you. I’m sure she’d be really proud of you right now.”
“Y-you think s-Ahrm, I mean, I know.” Scrappy said, trying to hide away any part of his dopey and softer side. “So, Scootaloo, can I expect you to fight your hardest? Super duper hardest?”
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, but you better watch out, Scrappy. I have a mean lesDZFZDGZSDRYHDRHDFH” Suddenly, Scootaloo is cut off as Scrappy suddenly spins his hooves in such a way that he machine guns her with snowballs. Hard enough to lift her off the ground and send her flying backwards as he cackled madly. She slammed into one of the fort walls and was utterly buried by his merciless assault.
…Well then.
“And now, there is only one. Anon, prepare to… Huh?” When Scrappy turned to face you, you were already gone.
“Nope! I ain’t doing this shit!” You said to yourself as you ran out from the inner fort and into the snow fields. You quickly ducked behind some trees and tried to catch your breath. You needed a plan.
“Okay, Anon, what are you doing? You’ve beaten this shrimp before, so why are you running now? Like, okay, you didn’t expect him to be able to throw snowballs like that but… Dammit, I don’t know what to do now! One false move and… Guh?!” When you looked up, you could see him looking down at you with a hideous smile.
“What’s wrong, Anon? Have you finally realized my superiority? Do you now realize why you can never stand up to me? Give up now, or feel the wrath of Granny Smith’s might through my power.” Scrappy said.
You didn’t answer, instead you panic-grabbed some snow and threw it up at him. But he dodged and zipped through the branches and landed back down onto the ground in front of you.
“You can’t win, Anon! Not at chess, not at snowball wars, not even bucking trees for sweet apples!” Scrappy cried as he began to machine gun throw snowballs at you.
“GYAH!” You ducked and rolled to the right and began to run up a hill as a flurry of snowballs practically traced through your previous positions.
“Stop running! I don’t have time for you to run! I have to go howl with Winona in twenty minutes!” Scrappy angrily growled as he began to give chase.
You needed to hide, you needed to hide until you could come up with a way to trounce him. Wait, what was that up ahead? A snowpony? Okay, it was a dickish move, but it could make for a good hiding spot. You rushed down the other side of the hill and jumped in through the side of the snowpony, and hoped it’d stay intact as you tried to think of a plan to beat him.
“Hey, Nonny!” Said a familiar voice. “What are you hiding in there for? I know I was making a snowpony, but it isn’t supposed to be a literal pony in the snow. Oh, are you playing hide and seek?”
Fuck, it was Pinkie Pie! You just continued to hide inside as you loudly whispered towards her. “Look, Ponk… Yeah, I am. C-could you maybe not give me away?”
You could swear you could hear her salute. “Okay! But just to let you know, there’s a giant snowball rolling down the hill towards us. Is that what you’re hiding from?”
FUCK!
You dug yourself out of the snowpony and jumped away just in time as Pinkie let out an “EEP!” As she gets caught in the passing snow boulder.
Shit, shit, shit! That fucker wasn’t relenting at all. When you looked up, he was already in front of you, ready to attack.
Fucking Dammit! “Will you stop with the giant snowballs already?! Holy shit!”
“Okay!” Scrappy said happily as he raised a normal sized snowball up with his hoof. “Any last words though?”
You just slowly began to step back. You looked at the snow, but the moment you tried to make a snowball from it, Scrappy threw a snowball right at your leg.
“Dishonorable! I give you a chance for words but you just want to try to attack the undefeatable! Fine! Prepare for all the snowballs, Anon. ALL OF THEM!” Scrappy shouted as he began to bombard you with his snowball barrage.
“Not today!” Said… Smolder?! She came rushing towards you from out of nowhere and turned away from Scrappy as she raised her arms and wings. She was… Blocking the barrage, and standing her ground.
Woah…
“What?! Impossible! IMPOSSIBLE! I saw you go down! No! I can’t lose! I CAN’T!” Scrappy cried as he began to throw harder and harder, faster and faster, trying to knock Smolder down.
You were just standing there, befuddled by it all. “S-Smolder?”
“Gngh, Yeah? What? Mngh!” She winced as she shook with every snowball that smacked into her back. “Anon! I don’t have time for you to just be standing there. I’m a dragon, okay?! GNHG, t-that’s all you need to know! Now do something already, I can’t hold on forever!”
Do something? Right, right… Scrappy was focusing on her now, trying to rectify his mistake. But if you go out there, he’ll just retarget you. He seems to be extra emotional today. Maybe if you…
“No, never mind, I got a new plan. Sorry, Anon, it’s the only way.” Smolder said as she suddenly reached out and grabbed your sides.
“Wha, hey, what are you QWFSDFFSDFD” Smolder, without warning, grabs you by the sides and quickly turns you around. She uses your head like a battering ram, and charges through the barrage with a battle cry as your head shields her from the snowballs.
“HYAAAAHHH!” She yelled out as she charged at Scrappy. Scrappy didn’t relent, and threw as hard and fast as he could, and yet your head was able to deflect all of it as Smolder drew closer. Holy fuck, your head may have been invincible, but the brainfreeze was terrible!
“Take this!” Smolder cried out. She slammed your head into the snow in front of Scrappy and then yanked you upwards by your hindlegs. The force from your head rising up was like that of a million shovels as snow flew up and began to fall towards Scrappy like an avalanche.
“Am I dreaming?” Was all he could ask himself. He was in sudden disbelief as the snow smashed back down onto him in a giant pile.
Smolder tossed you aside as she looked upon her handiwork. A grin slowly grew across her face until she suddenly jumped, arm in the air, with excited cheer. “WE DID IT! Yeah! Anon, that was awesome! Right?!”
You were half buried in the snow, head first, dizzy as all fuck.
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” Smolder said as she casually walked up to you and pulled you out. “You should have been more ready though.”
“Ngnh, geez…” You whined, until you noticed the battle was over. “Wait, hold on, did we just win?”
“Uh, yeah? Weren’t you paying attention?” Smolder said, standing and posing cooly as she gave you a smug smirk. “We’re the winners. Really? It was just too easy.”
Was it? How did she…? “Wait, hold on. But I-Wait! Is Diamond okay, what happened?!”
Smolder gave you a more cool reassuring look as she waved her hand at you. “Relax, relax, she’s fine. I pulled her out and told her to stay put while I come and save your butt. She tried to do that herself, but that snow boulder kinda messed with her sense of direction and stuff.” Smolder said, before suddenly fumbling down and kneeling. “Ngh…”
What?! “Smolder?! Are you alright?!”
“Y-yeah, just tired. Might as well admit it, he got me pretty good. He was throwing so hard and so fast, I was using all my strength to hang on. What about you? You look fine. Is your head okay?” She asked, genuinely worried that she may have overdone it.
“Ungh, sorta. I just hope I don’t get frostbite on my brain or something. Although…” Wait a second. Where was Cozy? She was… Still flying high. Why hadn’t she declared a winner yet? “If we won, why is Cozy still flying around up there?”
“No idea. Maybe she GYAH!” And before you knew it, Smolder got hit by a giant wall of snow, sending her flying backwards and into a pile of snow.
“Scrappy!” You cried as you faced forward, ready to take him out.
But… It wasn’t him.
Standing in front of you was a green mare, scrawny and wrinkly looking, her white hair tied up in a bun neatly, and adorning a golden mask over her face. On her back was a giant snow shovel, like it was some sort of sword… Okay, hold on a second. “Granny Smith?!”
“What now?! I ain’t no Granny Smith, I’m the Snow Avenger. And you must be the last no good varmint I need to take down.” The masked figure said, prepping herself for a fight.
“What do you mean she joined secretly?! How is that allowed?!” You shouted towards Cozy Glow. Upon calling your time out, she had descended to see what the problem was. She seemed so confused, and a little upset by your irritated attitude.
“W-well, Anon. Erm, she joined right after Scrappy did, in secret, just like him. Nocreature said she wasn’t allowed to do that.” Cozy said, hiding her head under her clipboard.
“You need to calm down now, ain’t no reason to be yellin’ at the little filly.” The Snow Avenger said.
“I’m not yelling at her, geez. And you shouldn’t be here!” You said, pointing at her before looking back at Cozy Glow. “And what about her snow shovel?! We said no weapons, right?”
“Ummm…” Cozy Glow started to look down the notes on the clipboard, reading them aloud. “No magic, no fire breath, no flying, no transformation, and no horn. Nope, nocreature said anything about a snow shovel. S-sorry, Anon, but I don’t see what the issue is. Golly, I haven’t seen you upset like this in a while. I-is everything okay?”
No, everything was not okay! You just wanted to have a snow war with your friends, and you were just about fine with Scrappy’s bullshit. But this was too much! “No, everything is not okay.” You then turn towards the Snow Avenger. “I know that’s you, Granny Smith! Why?! Why are you even here?! Answer me!”
The Snow Avenger stood there silently, then sighed as she removed her mask. It was indeed her, but she seemed more irritated than anything else. “Scrappy already told ya, didn’t he? You know what it’s like to be seen as an old mare that can’t do nothin’? Applebloom treatin’ me like I need extra help, or Applejack thinkin’ I’m getting to old for anything excitin’? Now they even got Scrappy thinkin’ such things and I ain’t gonna put up with it! Figured if I can take down the best of ya’ll, maybe I’d get some respect.”
Wut?
“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on. Are you saying you only came in last minute to fight the last team?! How does that make sense?! What does that even prove?” What the fuck was going on?!
“Proves I can still give a trouncin’ in a good ole snowball war, for one. Back in my day, we had snowball wars in blizzards. Twenty feet of snow and hail the size of barnyards! Winnin’ against the likes of you ain’t nothin’.” She said, nodding her head in defiance to your questioning.
W-wut?
“But… We’re foals, and stuff. What would you be proving by beating a bunch of foals? That you can beat foals? I mean, I get it, you don’t like your family thinking you’re too old to do anything. But, like, did you ever try talking to them?” You asked her.
“Tried with Applejack, but she’s more stubborn than the last apple hangin’ on a tree. Same with Scrappy. Figured it was the last straw and I start takin’ matters into my own hooves, one step at a time.” She answered.
“Okay… But, again, foals?” You said, rolling your hooves in a way to emphasize how retarded her thinking was.
“Well… Erm.” Finally, it seems to have hit her as she took a moment to think to herself. “Maybe that weren’t the best idea. I guess the way Scrappy got all gung-ho about avengin’ my honor or whatever kinda got under mah skin.”
“Yeah” You said, with a pop in your speech. “Look, truthfully? I already know that you pretty much run Sweet Apple Acres. That place can’t function without your business skills and connections. And I know you can put in the work Applejack, and even Big Mac can.”
“You’re darn tootin’ I can. Hmm…” Granny Smith started rubbing under her chin as she came to a realization. “But talkin’ to her still doesn’t do any good. She just don't see it.”
“Yeah, I know. Trust me, I know. But, Granny Smith, c’mon… Look, I’m not going to fight you, okay? And it isn’t because you’re old. It’s more that I can see how this would end up. If I win, I’ll be condemned for beating an old mare. If you win, I’ll be shamed for losing to an old mare. Not to mention everypony will think you’re crazy for jumping in and trying to crush, y’know, foals.” You told her, remaining calm and patient, now that it seemed you were defusing the situation.
“Hm, you’re right, and I don’t need Applejack lecturin’ me on nothing she doesn’t know. Hm, nothing she doesn’t know. Now that gives me a better idea.” Granny Smith then looks to you with a warm smile and pats your head. “Tell you what. I’m gonna forfeit this here war, as long as you don’t tell nopony I was in it. Can ya both do that?”
Cozy Glow nodded “Mhmm, if it means helping a friend!”
“Yeah, I can totally do that.” Thank fucking christ. “But what about Scrappy? I kinda feel for you, Granny Smith. I don’t want him thinking you can’t do anything.”
“Don’t worry about him, I got it all figured out. See, I’m gonna go on a whole month’s vacation and leave Applejack to run Sweet Apple Acres. Bout time she starts pullin’ triple time like I had to when I was a young mare. I ain’t going to be here forever and she should know enough to run the orchard without me. Gonna have to tell Big Mac he ain’t to help with any of the business decisions. Gonna have to ask Mr. Rich to be lenient on her before I go. Ain’t good for teachin’ but I can’t let our best buyer think we’ve gone plum crazy under new management now.” Granny Smith explained.
Uh… “What about Scrappy though?”
“Scrappy? Oh oh, right. He’s just gonna have to understand that losin’ is a part of life. I don’t like to be hard on the little fella but ah think it’s ‘bout time he get a real stern talking to about all this ‘honor and glory’ huckabaloo. When he comes to, you send him my way, I’d rather Applebloom not be around him when I tell him what’s what. She ain’t his mother, but you’d think she is the way he acts, and I don’t want her babying him. If he’s gonna be an Apple, then ‘bout time he learns what it means to really be one.” Granny Smith further explained.
For some reason, that actually made you worry for him. It made you wonder how strict and stern she was suddenly going to be with him. “I mean, yeah, I agree. But, erm, I mean…”
“Now, don’t you worry now, I ain’t gonna do nothin’ I haven’t done before. He just needs to understand that his ‘glory’ shenanigans needs a stoppin’, or he at least needs to understand that there ain’t no need to seek glory in everything. “ Granny Smith says with a wink towards you, alluding to how you taught her that, before she stretches her legs. “Well, the snow is gettin’ to these old bones. I’m gonna be a gettin’.” She then starts to walk away as she has a bit of a laugh to herself. “Imagine that, me learnin’ a lesson from a bear.”
Damn straight! You were not going to deal with this season four tier craziness over what could be solved with some actual fucking sensible talking. Holy shit, you were actually impressed with yourself. You man-HEY WAIT!
“Bear?! DAMMIT! SHE STILL THINKS I’M A BEAR?!” Oh, hell no! You started to rush up after her, so you could tell her once and for all you weren’t a bear! “Hey! Come back! I want you to look at me! I WANT YOU TODFASFDSD” But as you took another step, you fell deep into a hole under the snow. Even worse, you suddenly felt yourself become sticky and sweet. Was this a trap?! WITH HONEY TO IRONICALLY SNARE YOU?! “DSFDZD! NGH! N-ngh… mnngh… Dammit…” You struggled the best you could, but you just couldn’t unstick yourself out of the hole.
Cozy Glow then poked her head up and looked down at you. “Anon? Are you alright?”
You just sighed as you laid there in sticky honey. “...No.” You said with a grumpy look.
“W-well, erm, if it makes you feel better, your team won the war. And you managed to do it without hitting anypony! Well, technically not hitting anypony. Does that help?” She asked, her ears folding back slightly.
“Not r-Wait, We won?! I won?! Are you serious?!” Holy shit, that’s right! Granny Smith forfeited, that meant her entire team was out of the game.
Cozy Glow lit up as she noticed your mood lifting. “I am serious! I really am! Gee, Anon, it really is amazing the way you won like that! I always knew you were capable of being a real friendship professor! Do you think I should tell Headmare Twilight about this?”
Good god no! If Twilight found out that you managed to defuse a situation with Granny Smith, through the power of words, she’d do worse than be mad at you, she’d turn you into a specimen of study in which no hell would be greater. “No! I mean, no. Cozy, it’s just something I’ve been trying to get good at, that’s all. I wouldn’t say that was anything masterful or anything like that.”
“You don’t think so? I thought it was amazing. But, if you say it wasn’t, then it wasn’t, I won’t argue, no siree. Well, I’m going to help dig out Smolder and tell everycreature the super amazing and awesome results! If you need any help, just let me know, okay?” She said as she scampered off.
“I’m fine… I can get out of this…” You then began to whisper to yourself. “I don’t need everypony knowing I got trapped in a literal honeypot of a hole.” You sighed to yourself as you began gnawing at the goop on your legs. Stupid Granny Smith, planning to use stupid honey traps because she thought you were a stupid bear. Still, you felt some satisfaction over managing to talk her down out of a fight like that. It felt reassuring. You didn’t want to be who you used to be, you didn’t want to keep walking into the same issues you always found yourself in due to your arrogance.
You never wanted to see anything resembling a spirit of harmony.
You didn’t need help. You didn’t need to involve anyone in anything dangerous. As you tore through the honey and began to climb out of the hole, you felt this was a good step towards your redemption.
Cozy Glow, she still thinks of you as a friendship professor. Maybe she wasn’t wrong, maybe if you just thought things out and used the logic ponies typically never use, you could ascend beyond the problems they typically deal with.
Or fuck being a professor. Maybe just getting everyone to realize that going to insane extremes for every issue would be good enough. You’d think Equestria was more chaos than harmony half the time.
“Anon!” You heard a sharp cry as you neared coming out the hole.
“GYAH!” Startled, you fall over backwards into the hole, getting stuck in the honey again.
“Anon!” It was Diamond, calling out to you, looking excited yet upset. “What are you doing down there, Anon? Wait, what’s with the honey?”
You just laid there, looking annoyed as you stared straight up. “Nothing, I just thought I’d stick around for a while.”
“Oh, you’re just celebrating. You used your horn, right? I… Um, do you mind if I come down there and celebrate with you? I want to see how it is to celebrate your way.” She asked, blushing a little. You wondered if she actually meant that, or if she was just happy to see you win and wanted to be at your side.
You nearly sighed, but held back. You weren’t annoyed with her, but now she probably thought you were weird to be down in a hole full of honey that was meant to be a trap. You just wanted to warp back up at this point. But hey, she thought you were celebrating, so why not just let her indulge? “Yeah, sure. Come on down.”
“Alright, here I come!” Diamond said as she jumped into the hole without hesitation. “Catch me, Anon!”
….OH SHIT!
And of course, due to your own stupid mouth, She just falls right onto you. Sending a shock of pain through you as she laid on top of you, looking around at the honey.
“Anon? Now that I’m down here… I don’t know, I kinda don’t wanna get all sticky and stuff. My parents totally wouldn’t like it.” She said, still on top of you as she only tapped at some of the honey and pulled back.
“...And I don’t even know what happened. I just swung him up and it was like there was a snowstorm in front of me. Anon’s head is pretty scary. It took both me and Scrappy out.” Smolder said as she recounted the story of how she thought she won the war.
The three original teams were sitting on benches, lined up in a column, under a tent, in a field of snow. Cozy Glow had made hot chocolate and victory cake for the winners, though since she didn’t know who the winner would be, she made team cakes for everyone, and slapped a ‘number one’ candle on top of the winning team’s cake. Smolder was just eating a handful and munching it down as she continued to recount the story. “It’s a good thing Anon didn’t get buried, or none of us would have won.”
“I mean, that’s cool and all, but did you have to use my Anon like a hammer? First bait, then that.” Diamond looked over at you, annoyed. “Anon, you didn’t hold back, did you? This was war, you know that, right? We could have lost.”
“Hey! Hey! I was doing my best! Look, somepony had to be the bait, and I knew just what to say to confuse the enemy team. And me and Smolder? I’d say that was more of a team up more than anything else. I mean, how else would we have beaten Scrappy if not to use my head like, y’know, a shovel or something.” You said, trying to calm down any frustration she might have.
Smolder snickered at that, but just went along with it for your sake. “Yeah, like I said, his head is pretty ridiculous. If other dragons knew how tough his head really was, we wouldn't be able to play boulder bash anymore because we’d always know there’s a pony who would beat us every time. Kinda embarrassing to think about, actually.”
“Well, Anon is just strong. Like, totally invincible. I guess maybe it was a good thing he didn’t do anything else, he could have hurt somepony.” Diamond said, convincing herself that was the truth.
“I’m just glad we won. Hey, what happened to Scrappy anyway?” Scootaloo asked.
You shrugged “Dunno, he probably, uh, just went home.” And that had to be the story, no one could know what really happened after his defeat.
“Huh, well, I hope he didn’t take losing too hard. Almost thought he was going to win with the way he was tossing snowballs.” Scootaloo sighed as she took a nibble of her piece of cake. “I wish I didn’t go down so fast. I didn’t know he was going to do that.”
“H-hey, Scoots, don’t look so down. Nopony knew he was going to do that to you. But think of it this way, we all would have lost to Ocellus’s team if it wasn’t for your quick thinking.” You reminded her, trying to cheer her up.
“Really? You think?” Scootaloo asked, as hope began to return to her eyes. “But you were so good as bait.”
“I mean, yeah, but there had to be, like, an actual attack while I was bait. If you didn’t think about digging under their snow tower, we would have been beaten. If I had to say anything about it, I’d say that was some top tier Wonderbolt strategizing. You should tell Rainbow Dash about it.” You tell her with a reassuring grin.
“Anon’s got a point. I got the claws, but I wasn’t really thinking about how to use them. So yeah, who cares if Scrappy got you, you still got us that far in the first place.” Smolder told her, to raise her spirits.
Scootaloo felt humbled and blushed, looking away shyly. “I-I guess. I wonder if Rainbow Dash would really be impressed by that. I dunno, maybe I shouldn't bother her about it.”
“Just tell her.” Diamond said, giving Scootaloo a bit of a nudge. “As Mother always tells me, you won’t make it anywhere if you decide to do nothing.”
“Really? I... Yeah, I will tell her. I hope she thinks that was worthy of the Wonderbolts too! I bet she will! Thanks, Diamond!” Scootaloo said, getting over her rather humiliating defeat and smiling back at all of you as her confidence became restored.
“Yeah, we all did it together. And…” You look forward, and suddenly Silverstream was sitting right next to Scootaloo, and staring directly at you, intently. “Er, Silverstream?”
“Oh, don’t mind me, I am just looking at you, trying to figure out how incredibly awesome your tactics were. Tactics is a fun word, isn’t it? I think so, our military says that word a lot.” She said, rather giddily. "Tactics!"
“My tactics? You mean when I was bait?” You asked, confused.
“Exactly! It was like, there was no way you’d say those things. But then, like like, Ocellus said you WOULD say those things! But then it turns out you wouldn’t! Or, er, maybe you would? I was so confused, and so impressed! Ocellus is super smart, so if you could trick her, then that just makes you even more Hero Colty! Can you all believe it? He can fight the Storm King, he can talk down to the Storm King, and he could have even been perfect bait to trick the Storm King! I bet Anon could have lost against the Storm King and he still would have won! That’s why he’s the hero of every hippogriff everywhere!” She said cheerily.
God… “I mean, er, thanks? Look, I… Uh.” You really had no idea what to say. Everything you did impressed her. You had to wonder what all of Mount Aris really thought of you. If it really was anything close, or even beyond, what the Crystal Empire thought of Spike, then it might be more overwhelming to you than you thought. Even if it did seem like it’d be easy to get poon there.
You then take a look at Diamond, and remove that thought from your head. Because she’d kill you, she’d just kill you.
Diamond then looked over at you, curious about something. "So, Anon, What was with the whole butt thing anyway? Is that a serious strategy, or was it something else?"
Shit! What the hell were you supposed to say? ”Well, you see, I just… It actually is sorta complicated. I mean, there's all this human intricacies into even thinking about a butt to make it sound like believable. I mean, I had to trick Ocellus-” But then Silverstream interrupts you.
“And it really was complicated! He isn’t lying. I sure was confused! I mean, when he talked about your butt, he made it seem like he actually and really meant-” But then, Silverstream is interrupted as Ocellus appears from behind her, taking a seat next to her.
“What Anon said was something that was believable, that's all. Him being inappropriate is something I'd expect when it comes to his heroing skills. It’s probably best not to repeat it. It could be a strategy he may need for later.” She said, giving you a wink.
“Oooooh, that’s right! Right, right, right. Okay, my beak is sealed!” Silverstream said, literally making a zipping motion along her beak.
“Awww… Fine, I guess that is a good point. I still really wanted to know exactly how he meant it.” Diamond said, reluctantly agreeing.
Ocellus for the save.
Ocellus, she really has softened up since her own realization of how obsessed and scared she was of Chrysalis. And although she still really didn’t want to be near her, she had since learned to try not to let it affect her friendship with you.
Ocellus, taking a seat, quickly changed subjects to something you weren’t expecting. “So, Anon. You said about a week ago that you finally convinced, erm, the old queen to see Professor Fluttershy? How’s that going?”
“O-oh, huh…” Well, that question caught you off guard. “Well, it was more convincing her and my dad. Actually, for Chrysalis, it was actually kinda easy. I just convinced her that I’d get her a real nice Hearthwarming gift if she just gave Aunt Fluttershy a chance. Given Hearthwarming is a week away, she finally decided to give it a shot. I think it’s going to go well. We actually have the visit planned for tomorrow, so, yeah. It should work out.”
“You don’t think she’s just going to play nice just to get a gift from you?” Ocellus asked.
“Big sis isn’t like that.” Diamond interjected. “Anon just doesn’t understand how girls are sometimes. She obviously was always ready to see his aunt, but Daddy Discord is kinda complicated. She totally calculated that Daddy Discord would be more willing to be nicer to her and more willing to go when it was close to the holidays. And as always, she managed to trick Anon into getting her a gift to sweeten the deal.”
Wut? “No, that’s not right. Right? She just kinda just kept avoiding it.”
“She, Anon? remember when Daddy Discord said I also had to be there, and the days he picked were always days I had to do important things with Daddy and Mother?” Diamond asked you.
“I mean, yeah, but it was kinda obvious he was doing that on purpose.” You replied.
“I know. Now, pay attention, didn’t Daddy Discord also say a month back he had a really important O&O session he had to get to, so he couldn’t go?” Diamond asked you.
“I mean, yeah, he does really like O&O.” You said with a shrug.
“And remember during Nightmare Night, you were all supposed to go the day after, and he instead suddenly got sick from Tatzlwurms?” Diamond asked you.
“I mean, he actually did get sick from them.” You replied. “Like, really sick. Trust me, I know Dad, he does not like to be sick. It takes away from his chaotic schedule. He can’t go a day without messing with Princess Twilight in some way.”
“And you don’t think he’d purposely get sick just so your aunt wouldn’t be around Big Sis? It’s totally a boy maneuver to get sick even if it’s a bad thing, just to get what they want.” Diamond said.
“She’s right, Anon.” Gallus said as he suddenly took a seat at your team’s bench. “Don’t mind me, just listening in. But take it from a griffon: we’ll do anything, even make ourselves sick, to get out of anything, especially when it involves cash.”
Goddammit, Discord would do that, wouldn’t he? Considering he told you he’d love to go if it made Fluttershy happy, you thought it’d be the truth. Guess he’s willing to lie about Fluttershy if it means ‘protecting her’. “Okay, I see your point.”
“Yeah, and that’s why Big Sis managed to pick the perfect opportunity to get something from you. Because she knows that Daddy Discord can’t come up with an excuse without reeeaaallly upsetting your aunt.” Diamond giggled as she leaned into you. “Better be careful, Anon, because that just means I know how to get things out of you now.”
Uggghhhhhh…. Okay then….
Suddenly, a bell began to ring out, catching everyone’s attention. Cozy was hovering in the air, ringing the bell herself, making an announcement. “Hey, hey, Everypony! I-I don’t mean to ruin the celebrations. But, golly, since you’re all here, I have a really REALLY big announcement to make! Would you all like to hear it?”
“Aw, hey, of course!” Sandbar said, in his typical optimistic fashion. “Whatever it is, I bet it’s awesome!”
“Thank you! Well, ahrm.” Cozy Glow cleared her throat, then smiled big towards everyone as she became more enthused and cheery. “As you all know, Hearthwarming is in exactly one week. Hearthwarming is super duper important for many many reasons. But, I think, one of the biggest reasons is friendship! The biggest friendships between ponies ever was made on that day. And so, I’m excited to announce that we’ll all get to share that kind of friendship with my pen pal friend, Winter Krumb! His life has been oh so very very hard, I thought there’d be no way for him to come visit us here in Ponyville. But thanks to me, and with the help of Anon, he’s been given enough hope to come down here a day before Hearthwarming so he can share it with all of us! In fact, Anon, he actually sent me a letter asking to meet you when he arrives.”
Wut? That guy, he was actually coming to Ponyville? Huh, why did that irk you? If anything, that should be a good thing. That poor guy must have felt so lonely and unable to do anything for the longest time. The fact he’s getting a chance to come visit, well, it’s a good thing. “He does, huh? Well, I guess I’ll have to make sure I don’t disappoint him.”
“Oh, I know you won’t.” Cozy said, her glare becoming intense for just a moment. “Oh wait! Oh no, you didn’t have anything super special planned, did you?” Cozy pouted. “I-I promise it won’t take too long. I-I’ll even make some snacks for y-you, if you’ll come.”
D’aww. Well, it is the day before Hearthwarming. And you’re sure nobody would mind you giving up some of your time to greet the guy. “Sure, I’ll make sure my schedule is cleared. And don’t worry about the snacks, I’m good.”
“Oh no no! I insist! And besides, it’s the least I can do for you for all you’ve done for me, Professor.” She said, giving you a wide wide grin and a little wink.
Well… The cake is pretty good, so you were sure her snacks would taste pretty good too. And you do like snacks. “Alright, alright, if you insist. I don’t wanna make you sad, Cozy.”
“And you won’t!” Cozy said, adorably clapping her hooves as she squealed with glee. “You never ever do!”
“Yona not hear of Winter Krumb before, What Winter Krumb like?” Yona asked.
“Oh, well, he’s been very nice and neat so far just through our letters, and he's really smart about old old stuff. Golly, I think it’ll be a surprise for all of us when he actually does arrive.” Cozy said, hugging her little bell.
“Well, you should let us know when he arrives too, Cozy Glow. Then we crusaders could give him a real Ponyville welcome!” Applebloom said. “Ain’t that right, girls?”
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo agreed with a cheer. “Right!”
You all give a cheer of encouragement. So far, Cozy had always seemed like the odd one out of the group, despite her innocent and sweet nature. If this Krumb guy made her that happy, and she was curious about whatever his hobbies were, then good for her. And he wanted to see you too? Heh, maybe she told him all about how great at friendship you really were. you were glad he was coming.
“So where are we going, Anon?” Diamond asked as she trailed behind you through the snow.
With the war over and your team victorious, you actually found yourself in a pretty good mood, and decided to bring Diamond along to show her a surprise. That surprise being the very gift you had planned for Chrysalis. “We’re going to see if Chrysalis’s gift is ready. I put in a work order two weeks ago and I want to see if it’s done. And if it is, I wanted to see if her ‘sister’ approves.”
Diamond squeed in excitement as she pranced over to your side. “Really?! Oh, no, I totally got this. Trust me, I know what she likes. So, work order, huh? Aha! So the Carousel Boutique then? That’s where we’re going, right?”
Well damn, that was quite the good guess. “Yeah, nice guess.”
“I figured. But why are you having Rarity make your gift? Couldn’t you make it yourself?” Diamond asked, curious as to why you didn’t use your horn instead. But before you could answer, she thought about it for just a second before coming to an answer. “...Unless you wanted whatever it is to be of the highest quality. But then, couldn’t your magic do that too?”
You shook your head. “It could, but no. When it comes to chaos magic, even what I think could be the highest quality just might not be. I usually have a good hold on most of what I construct through my magic, but I want to make sure it’s absolutely perfect.”
“Oooooh, that makes sense. Well, being of the upper class myself, I can totally understand arranging for such a high quality gift.” Diamond said, suddenly standing tall and raising her head. She gave you a regal yet stoic look, before giving you a smirk. “So, gonna tell me what it is?”
You smirked right back at her. “Nope. You’re gonna have to wait until we get there.”
“Awww! Come on!” Diamond said, stomping her hooves as she became flustered. “Please? Hmph!” Diamond turned away from you, annoyed with your secrecy. “Whatever, not like I need to know. And I was gonna give you a kiss and everything”
You almost laughed, she immediately became annoyed with you before you could answer her pleas. “C’mon, Diamond, don’t be like that. Look, we’ll be there before you know it. I mean, if you want me to ask Miss R-” But suddenly, Diamond stopped and interrupted you as she looked forward with her eyebrows furrowed, and her hoof pointing directly at your face.
“No! You will not be getting me a gift for Hearthwarming. As a pony of the upper crust and the elite, it is bad form to take a gift when I could afford ten of said gifts myself. In other words, Mother told me to make sure you do not get me a gift, as it would make the papers and make our family look greedy.” Diamond said, sounding dead serious about it.
Wut? “Seriously? But I’m the Hero Colt, and your coltfriend. How does that make sense?”
“It makes total sense. I’m supposed to get you a gift, and all you have to do is be by my side. It’s only for Hearthwarming, Anon, that’s all. You can get me a gift on any other day, just not that day. It is a little weird, since it’s usually a rich stallion giving his marefriend a gift. But it isn’t bad! And besides, your magic is kinda cheating anyway, you always get me what I want. So I agree with Mother, utterly and completely.” Suddenly she approaches you with sultry eyes, and gives them a flutter. “Plus, it’ll give me a chance to impress you. You can’t be the only pony in this relationship who knows how to impress their love.”
Well damn, that was a lot of justification for just getting you a gift. But the way she was looking at you, and her eagerness to impress you. D-damn, fine, let her have it, you’ll be happy just to see her happy. “Y-yeah, I guess you’re right. Okay, I think I canWEFASDFSDGSD” Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant snow boulder plows right into you from the side.
“What?! Not again! Hey! Come back here with my Anon!” Diamond yelled out as she gave chase to the snow boulder. But she didn’t have to go far before it came to a sudden halt.
“Huh? Did somepony say something?” Said the voice of Pinkie… W-who, wait, was she in the snow boulder? WAS SHE THE SNOW BOULDER?!
“I did! Now stop this instant or there’s gonna be trouble!” Diamond said as she tried her best to keep up with the boulder.
You were just trying to pull yourself out, but the constant movement just kept you stuck halfway buried as your screams were muffled by the snow.
“Trouble?! Oh no!” Suddenly, the damned thing jolted forward and back, the momentum sending you forward face first into the snow. “I don’t want to be in trouble! I was just trying to beat the world record!” Pinkie said as only her muzzle poked out from the snow.
“World record? World record in what?” Diamond asked, utterly confused. “In… snow rolling?”
“Exactly, mostly, kinda! It’s more ‘mare trapped in biggest rolling snowball’ than ‘snow rolling’. What do you think so far?” Pinkie asked, curious to know what Diamond thought about her ever growing snowball.
“Uhhh, it’s pretty big. But is there even a world record for that kind of thing?” Diamond asked.
“Nope, which means I just have to keep beating my world record until I’m number one!” Pinkie cheered with a gentle giggle.
Diamond was perplexed, just staring near blankly as she was unable to comprehend the situation. “Uh, okay? Sure, um, alright. Well, um, I’m just going to go get my Anon now. Good luck with the world record thing.”
“Thanks! Well, goodbye! Don’t be surprised if I’m in the newspaper tomorrow! Byyyyeeee!” Pinkie exclaimed as the snow boulder began to roll forward seemingly on its own.
Diamond only stood there for another moment, utterly confused by what just transpired, before walking over to you. You had just managed to pull yourself out of the snow as you rolled backward onto your back. “Anon, are you okay?”
“Is winter over?” You asked, staring straight into the sky.
“Ummm, no?” Diamond asked, being cautious about her answer, as to her, you seemed upset.
“Then no…” You answered.
After getting back up and trying to get over being ran over by a damned snow boulder, you and Diamond continued the trek to the boutique. Diamond was worried about your emotional well-being, as you had become a little more silent. She moved to your side, and snuggled into you during the walk.
“Diamond?” You said, wondering what she was doing.
“Hm? Oh, I was just trying to keep you warm. You’ve been in so much snow I was worried you were getting cold.” She said, avoiding looking into your gaze, as she didn’t want to see if you were still upset, and just wanted to imagine you were already cheering up.
Hmmm, did you even have a reason to be upset? Because you knew what this was, she was making sure you were okay. Hm, perhaps this was what companionship was really about, just having someone to be there when you lost sight of what was making you excited in the first place. So you have another unlucky set of circumstances, who gives a shit. Even the dynamic duo’s pre-Oh shit. “Crap!”
“W-what?” Diamond said, looking hurt as she stepped slowly away from you. “A-Anon?”
“Huh? Oh no! No no no! I was just, I mean…” Goddammit, you didn’t mean to spook her, you just realized Snips and Snails never came out of that snow pile. You had to think fast! You slap on your horn, and quickly melt the snow around you as the ground immediately blooms flowers of every kind around both you and Diamond as warmth sprung forth from their petals. “I thought you were cold, so uh, now you won’t be, right?”
“O-oh, oh!” Diamond felt sudden reassurance, and even giggled as she looked down at the flowers. They looked so beautiful. But at this point, she has grown used to some of your magical shenanigans as she gave you an arrogant smirk, while still blushing about your gesture. “I mean, I appreciate it, and the flowers are really pretty. But if it’s meant to keep me warm, then wouldn’t you have made a road of flowers for me?”
“Y-yeah, um…” She was right. But then, suddenly, Diamond cuddled into you again, making you silent.
“Don’t worry about it, you’re enough to keep me warm, Anon.” She said, giggling as she nuzzled into you.
…Heh, this was nice.
The trek continues, Diamond close to you, a smile never leaving your face as her affections creeped further and further into your heart. Eventually, the both of you came upon the Carousel Boutique. You approached and knocked on the door, ready to greet Rarity.
“Who is it?” Said Rarity from behind the door.
“It’s me, Miss Rarity! I just wanted to come by and see if my commission was ready.” You said.
“Anon? Yes, please, come in, the door is open.” Rarity said.
Welp, it was time.
You slowly opened the door, with Diamond following after. And what you both saw, holy shit. No, really, holy shit, what and how did this happen?
There were many a pony mannequins lined up side by side by gender. The male side were dressed in all kinds of both gangster and mafioso attire from various eras, along with detective styles as well. While female style mannequins were all dressed in various femme fatales dresses. One was a red dress with the black rose outlines, with a large hat meant to veil some of the face, lined with black roses as well. Another more jazzy and contemporary, with an air of mystery around it. Where the hell did all this come from?
“Wow… It’s like all that gangster stuff Big Sis talks about. Is this all her present?” Diamond asked, utterly amazed.
“Uhhh…” Was it?! You only asked for one suit for Chrysalis.
Suddenly, Rarity entered the room, hovering a black box with green ribbons in front of herself with her magic. “Oh, no no, that is what I have to present as my new ‘Noire’ line. Chrysalis’s gift is right here.” Rarity says as she sets it on a table for you. “There you are, Anon. I hope it’ll be to her liking.”
“B-but, what is all this? I don’t remember providing so much reference material.” You were just stunned. For this project, you only provided Rarity some human pictures of some gangsters, and some schematics for the suit itself, including Chrysalis’s measurements.
“You didn’t. Luckily for me, all I had to do was have your aunt ask your father for everything I required under the guise of her being ‘curious’. Your father, of course, wouldn’t question it if it came from her. Anon, I’ll say this once more, just because I’m a lady doesn’t mean I can’t handle some unsightly things. I’ll have you know that I’m quite a fan of the ‘Noire’ setting, so seeing the drama of human criminal life was actually quite fascinating.” Rarity responded as she approached you, giving you a gentle pat on the head. “Next time, when I ask for all the reference material you can provide, I really do mean that.”
Christ, Discord, were you that easy? “B-but, all the violence and, er, smoking stuff, a-” But Rarity cut you off with a giggle, as she found your reaction quite adorable.
“I did watch that human film, Anon. As a fashionista, one must understand that inspiration can come from even the worst of places. And while I admit some of what I saw was more gritty than I’d ever expect, I had already been prepared enough thanks to knowing beforehand how humans can be. And besides, how could I miss out on all those detective stories? Darling, thanks to all this inspiration, I’m sure my new ‘Noire’ line will be a hit!” Rarity exclaimed proudly, before calming down and clearing her throat, feeling a tad embarrassed as she walked over to a closed curtain within the room.
Holy fucking shit, she was serious. Well, it was impressive, you could even recognize some of the stuff you saw before you even better as you took a closer look. Everything from ‘The Godfather’ to ‘Dick Tracy’ was on display here. Alright, you were impressed. But then…
You neared the box containing Chrysalis’s gift, and prepared to open it. But as you did, Rarity pulled it away slightly with her magic as she gave you a gentle yet cocky smirk. “Ah, ah, Anon. That box is to remain closed until it is time to open it. However, as you are the commissioner, I made an exact copy of the suit to present to you and to modify later for your marefriend’s use.”
Wut?
Diamond, however, lit up from those words, a suit matching Chrysalis’s? She was absolutely beaming just from hearing about it. “R-really? You’re going to make one for me too?! I didn’t even know about the gift until today, a-and… Um, how much will it cost? I want to pay you right now! No matter the price, I know Daddy can pay for it!”
Rarity giggled as she raised her hoof to signal her to calm down. “Now, now, I won’t have none of that. It is nearing Hearthwarming after all, so consider this a gift for the both of you.”
Double wut?
“W-wait! This is too much. I mean, how did you even know Diamond knew Chrysalis? How? A-and, what do you mean ‘the both of us’?” What was going on?
Rarity gave you a playful yet condescending look. “It doesn’t take a detective to figure it out. Scrappy is quite close to Chrysalis, and I swore no ill will towards her for the information he gave me. Scrappy is an affectionate fellow, he’d do anything to make her and his friends happy. So, one can say I’m just making sure that happiness is delivered. I mean it when I say I want Chrysalis to be absolutely satisfied.” She then looks at Diamond and gives her a wink. “And don’t you worry, your secret is safe with me.”
What in God's name did fucking Rarity do to somehow get that kind of secret out of him?! “I-I see. Um, uh. T-thank you, Miss Rarity.”
“Thanking me already? Anon, please, at least wait until I reveal the surprise. And please, react however you like. But keep in mind they won’t be fully ready until later, and even then, you’ll have them come Hearthwarming.” Rarity said with another giggle before taking a breath, suddenly looking quite professional. “Now then, without further ado.” She pulled the rope down next to the curtain, and finally, it was revealed.
The copy of Chrysalis’s suit was suited onto a replica mannequin of the Queen herself. It wore a stylish jet black fedora with a horizontal emerald stripe and a blood red feather sticking out from the side. The suit itself was black with emerald stripes moving down horizontally, with white cuffs at the end of each leg with emerald gem buttons. The undershirt was white, with black buttons and a red tie. It was stylish as all hell, and it even had… Is that a tommy gun laying on the side of it? Holy shit, you hoped it was a prop.
The second suit was on a mannequin based on you. It was Dick Tracy’s trademark fedora and trench coat, with the only real difference being the chaos symbol representing your cutie mark represented on a black handkerchief in the undershirt’s pocket.
“Wow! It looks so amazing! A-and I’m going to get to wear this too? It looks so… Oh! I wish I could wear it right now! What do you think, Anon, would I look totally cool wearing that? I bet I’d even look a little scary, huh?” Diamond said as she hopped around the mannequin, taking it all in, posing in a way that she thought made her look mysterious and dangerous.
Considering the colors would actually look good on Diamond’s pink figure… Yeah, it really would. But you were a bit too much in awe to answer. Rarity is fucking amazing, she really went the extra mile to make it all work. Even getting what she needed out of Discord and Scrappy. Brava, Rarity, brava.
You were sitting on Diamond’s bed in her room as she hid the gift inside her closet. You were stretching around, noting that, while the bed felt somewhat comfier than your own, it lacked the magical temperature control that kept you snug. “So, you got any plans for today, Diamond? I don’t really have anything to do at the moment other than go see my dad about something.”
Diamond threw some blankets over the gift to hide it and began to come out of her closet, closing it before wiping her brow, feeling she did a job well done. “Hm? You mean you don’t have anywhere to run off to for once?” She said, half sarcastic, half earnest about actually being able to hang out with you.
“Nope, nothing I can think of.” You said as you hopped off her bed and gave yourself a stretch.
“Hmmm, well…” Diamond began to give it some thought. She then slowly looked back at the closet, and she began to frown. When she turned to you, she let out a sigh. What was that all about? “Anon, I… I don’t think that gift is really enough. Don’t you think so?”
Wut? “Uh, I think it’s more than enough. Chrysalis is gonna flip when she sees it. Wait, don’t tell me you want to get her a wardrobe of suits. I don’t think Rarity has that kind of time.”
Diamond shook her head. “Mmm mmm, nope. I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking about… Well…” Diamond walked over to her balcony, stepping outside and looking beyond the horizon. “She’s always excited to see Scrappy, y’know? She says it’s just business, but we both know it isn’t. So, y’know, well… You know?”
What was she talking about? “Diamond? I don’t know. What are you getting at?”
Diamond turned towards you, she had a dutiful and serious expression on her face. “What do you mean? Hearthwarming is about love, friendship, and FAMILY. Anon, even if she’s our family, she also has her family. And it isn’t right that they just abandoned her like that!”
OH GOD! NO NO NO! “Woah, woah, woah! Hold on. Look, I get what you’re saying, but let me tell you from experience from dealing with Ocellus. It can’t be done, not now, not so close to Hearthwarming.”
“What? Why not? Hearthwarming is the perfect time for it! It’s the time for forgiveness too, you know that, right?” Diamond stomped her hoof down, wanting her way. “If you know what I’m getting at, then why not give it a try? You can get us to the hive instantly, can’t you? Look, how about this? You get us to the hive, and I do all the talking. How does that sound?”
You take a moment to take a huge patient breath, and exhale slowly. This was a doomed mission that you knew would make things worse. “Diamond, King Thorax is not going to see eye to eye with you on this, okay? None of them are. They not only don’t like Chrysalis, they are outright afraid of her.”
Diamond rolled her eyes at you. “And? That’s not a good excuse to hate your mother.”
“Yeah, but there’s also the fact that said mother also tried to have their current king killed before he became king.” You tell her.
Diamond relented on that one, her lips curling in her faltered stance. “O-oh, well, that’s kind of a good reason. Ahrm, but, we both know Chrysalis has changed. She’s good now, remember? Her wings are prettier than any of theirs, so that means she’s super good. Anon…” Suddenly, she made an adorable but rather angry expression at you as she stomped towards you. “There was a time where I thought I hated my mother too, but I don’t! My mother is a much better pony than she used to be, just like Big Sis! Anon, I don’t want her to be hated like that, she doesn’t deserve it. You know she doesn’t deserve it. If you can’t do this for me, then… I…” She turns away from you with disgust “Hmph! Then I don’t even know what kind of pony you are anymore. The fact you don’t even want to try is deplorable.”
Fucking ouch. Okay, Anon, time to go into deep thinking mode on this one. The changelings were absolute pussies, and their king was king of the pussies. Even if Chrysalis has little by little been more accepted, it wasn’t far enough along for the children who forsaken her. If dealing with Ocellus taught you anything, these bastards wouldn’t trust her, even if they gave her a chance. But did you have to convince them all? Diamond seemed to have some sort of plan, at least you hoped so. But what was she even going to say? How would she handle the situation in a way you wouldn’t? “Okay, okay, sheesh! But, look, Diamond, let’s be reasonable. We can’t just waltz in there without a plan. Convincing them all is gonna be near impossible, and I just don’t want to see you upset.”
“We don’t need to convince all of them, we only need to convince their king, who would then convince them for us. Sure, it’ll be tough, considering what you said, but the thing about diplomacy is getting the pony you’re talking to to like you. And I think I happen to be a very likable pony.” Diamond said, standing tall with a cheesy smile on her face.
She… Wasn’t wrong about that part, you only needed to convince Thorax and the rest would most likely follow. But still, how would she convince him? How would you? This still seemed like more trouble than it was worth, but you could tell your life would be a pain in the ass if you said no. So… “Okay, okay, I see what you mean. But how about this, miss diplomacy: We go and give this a shot, one shot, that’s it. And if things go sour, we never talk about it again.”
“Compromise, huh? Sure, I can do that. I can, like, totally do this in one try. Still, Anon, you really don’t believe in me, huh?” Diamond said, she didn’t look too hurt this time, she just gave you a bit of a dismissive stare that cut into you.
“I-it’s not that, really. Look, I mean it when I say it, I just don’t want things to get worse. I’m telling you, I got lucky with Ocellus, she was actively wrecking my life with her fears. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you or Chrysalis, that’s all.” You explained, hoping this time she understood.
“She really made it that hard for you, huh?” Diamond frowned for a moment, before suddenly looking confident once more. “Fine, I understand. But as Daddy always says: ‘every decision we make is a risk, so always make sure the reward is worth it’. And, Anon? It is totally worth it.”
Then she’s made up her mind. At least she was being mature about it and not tearing you a new asshole for being so relenting. You wanted to cement that this would be one try, but you held back, pressing that point would probably only make her upset. You decided that whatever happens, happens, it can't possibly be as bad as you're making it out to be. You place your horn on your head, and give it a tap. “Ready?”
Diamond nodded “Of course! Let’s do this!”
And with a flick of your horn, you and Diamond poof in a flash of light directly to the entrance of the hive. And what laid before you was… Wut? You could hear childish, almost kindergartenish-like caroling inside, as the entrance, and much of the outer hive itself had colored goop-like balls stuck to wreaths and long strands of those Christmas-like branches you never knew the name of. Looking back, you could see the badlands was still the badlands, just a little colder, but still no snow. “Okay… What the… What?”
“Woah, so this is it? This is the hive? So this is where Big Sis lived. It… Doesn’t look like a castle at all. D-don’t tell her I said this, but it’s kinda lame. I wonder what the insi- Wait, what’s going on in there? Are they caroling by just saying carol and caroling?” Diamond said as she slowly began to walk inside to investigate.
“Woah woah, hold on there, Diamond.” You say, stepping up to her side. “I think they’re getting ready for Hearthwarming too, like, in their own way. So let’s just be considerate of what they’re doing, and not cause too much of a fuss. Let’s just ask for King Thorax and that be that.”
“Anon, you didn’t need to tell me that, that was already the plan.” She said, with a stare suggesting you thought of her as stupid.
“Yeah! I… I was just making sure.” You said nervously. Dammit, okay, why did you even have to say that? You were so used to usually having to do that with everyone else that you thought asserting the plan was the right thing to do. Of course someone like Diamond would already be two steps ahead and plotting on what to say to Thorax.
When you both ventured further into the hive, you could already see various changelings flying about joyously, going through different tunnels, holding decorations and such while joyously talking amongst themselves. Diamond just started to become awed with what she originally thought was lame. “Okay, I take it back. Look at this place, it’s like a warped tunnel system you’d see in a funhouse. I bet this place was super creepy when Big Sis was queen. Really struck fear into any of her enemies that wandered inside. She probably had so many traps everywhere and all sorts of cool scary stuff.”
Wut? “Er, I mean, wouldn’t you think that’s a bad thing?”
“It WAS a bad thing, Anon. It doesn’t matter now, so it’s just kinda cool to think about.” Diamond said as she pointed towards a changeling that was hanging wreaths along the walls of a tunnel. “Hey, Anon, why don’t you ask that guy where their king is. They know you, right? So they should be happy to tell you.”
“Sounds right to me, okay.” You wandered over to the cherry red changeling with yellow wings and blue eyes, he was humming to himself, mindlessly but joyously doing his duty. “Hey, buddy. It’s me, Anon. Look, I came to see your king. Y’know, see how he’s doing, have a bit of a chat. Mind telling me where he is?”
“King Thorax? Sure! He should be down in the brood chamber, checking the young and trying to come up with new songs to s-WAIT!” The changeling turns around, and upon spotting you, he suddenly began to panic. “Anon?! That Anon?! OH NO!” He then turns to see Diamond, and there had to be something he sensed, because he just pointed at her and said. “Oh no! I can sense frustration in that false filly! It’s the queen! Everycreature! It finally happened! Anon has brought the queen to the hive! We’re doomed! DOOMED!” And with that, all the changelings within earshot began to panic as the hive went into a crazy frenzy to find places to hide.
Wut?
“Anon?! What was all that about?! What did you do?!” Diamond asked, confused. “You didn’t threaten him, did you?!”
Wut?!
“I just asked him where Thorax was and he freaked out! I have no idea what happened!” You said as you just gazed at the chaos you just caused. Like, what the hell? What did he mean you brought Chrysalis?! She wasn’t Chrysalis. And this wasn’t some mind game shit either. If Diamond was Chrysalis, you would have known much sooner simply because she would have taken the gift for herself the moment she had it in her hooves.
“It sounded like he said you brought Big Sis here. But that doesn’t make any sense. Why are the changelings so afraid of you? What did you do to them?” Diamond asked, utterly confused by everything going on.
“I have no clue! Last time I was here, I was just here to meet Ocellus. I didn’t do anything, I swear!” You said, as the hive suddenly became quiet.
“Then why are they all freaking out? Something has to have happened. Ugh, this is going to make things a lot harder. It doesn’t really feel fair.” Diamond said, aggravated as she started to stare down one of the tunnels. She started to yell through it, trying to get anyone’s attention. “Hey! Why are you scared of my Anon?! What gives?! You better have a good reason! Nopony is allowed to be scared of my Anon unless you have one, and I mean a really good one!”
“Well, actually, we all have a good reason to be afraid of him.” Said a familiar wimpy voice, coming from the ceiling.
Both you and Diamond looked up to see Thorax himself looking down, looking quite concerned about your presence. Diamond’s anger went up a notch as she began to become demanding. “Well, come down here then and tell us! Anon says you don’t have a good reason to be afraid or angry with him, so your reason better be better than good. Don’t you know that this kind of reaction looks very bad on all of you? Being afraid of a hero like him is super suspicious.”
Welp, so much for trying to convince anyone to forgive someone with that kind of attitude. But thankfully, Thorax was a wimp, so he just daintily flew down to the ground, apologizing for his behavior. “S-sorry, I didn’t realize that. Look, forgive my fellow changelings, they just got the idea that you were the former queen. I mean, it almost seems like you may have been hanging around her, that’s all. Oops, sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you with that either. We just… Umm, it’s just… Look, m-may I ask who you are before we continue?”
“I’m Diamond Tiara, heir to the Rich estate and future wife to the hero colt, Anon! And yes, I do hang around Big Sis, what’s wrong with that? She’s my friend! You all understand what a friend is, don’t you?” Diamond said, still aggravated with his behavior.
Oh good gravy, this… This was already bad.
“Oh, dear. Um, we sort of do? Um, look, not to insult you or anything, but we really really don’t want anything to do with her, mostly because of a couple of things. Things that also have to do with him.” Thorax said, pointing at you.
Okay, what the fuck was up with that?! “Hey! What did I even do?! None of you reacted like this the last time I was here!”
“Yes! Yes, I know that. And you were kinda welcome here before... Well, before that whole attempt on ending the Princess of Friendship thing. We, surprisingly enough, had gotten a letter from Prince Shining Armor about the incident, in detail. It was very angry, very very angry. We didn’t really know what to do, or how to handle it. So we just… We kinda just… sent a letter saying we completely distance ourselves from the former queen in all ways. And we kinda decided that would mean you too. Because, well, considering what happened, you're really kinda dangerous. you've gotten too close to her and that can kinda spell doom for us all. I-I hope that didn’t sound too mean, but i-it’s just how we feel.”
“Okay, so what gives? I thought you changelings became nice and welcoming.” Diamond said, utterly annoyed. King Thorax has led you both back out to the hive’s entrance, not wanting your presence to cause any further turmoil among his subjects.
“W-we are! Really! It’s just, well, I already explained it. I don’t want to be a bother to either of you, nor do I just want to kick you both out. But I have to think of my brothers and sisters, I don’t want them to suffer.” Thorax said, in his usual meek manner.
And yet he was doing just that. You knew it was going to end badly for Diamond, but this was too much. She didn’t even get a chance, and that actually pissed you off. “Okay, but do you know how long ago the whole 'attempt on Twilight's life' was?! Dude, I’m taking my aunt tomorrow to go see her so they can chat and be friends. Didn’t anycreature tell you what happened after all that?”
Thorax nodded. “Princess Celestia did, she urged me to reconsider my stance. I couldn’t do that, whatever the other changelings felt on the matter, well, that was the decision that would be made. And given my personal experience, well, Anon… You were there.”
“C’mon, man, are you serious? Do you realize she gave up on all her conquests? She literally spends most of her time at home, watching movies and skulking in the forest. As long as it isn’t Shining Armor, I actually think she’d be fine with visitors.” You tell him “Chrysalis has come a long way. She even came to understand that evil can’t win, it’d cause the wendigos to literally destroy everything, including her. So, c’mon, stop being so melodramatic!”
“Gosh, that does sound like something. And, I suppose if it was up to me, I would consider it a little more an-” But he was interrupted by Diamond, who exploded at him.
“What do you mean?! You’re the king! It is up to you! Why is it everypony ever can be forgiven, but not her?! If Big Sis was as bad as you say, then why is she so nice to me?” Diamond growled, demanding an answer. “Just admit you don’t want her here because you don’t want to accept she’s reformed!”
“Well, u-um…” Thorax began to fidget his forelegs as he became increasingly nervous “I’d certainly want to. But it’s just as I said, we simply can’t trust her, at least not yet. Please, understand when I say this…” Thorax looks over at you, and points to you. “My fellow changelings have told me all about Anon’s time with the former queen. And I have inquired further through the princesses. I-it’s all so much to take in, you see. But the most constant issue I’ve seen is that no matter how far along it may seem Anon has gotten in reforming her, she always seems to use it as cover for her next evil plan.” Thorax then tried to give Diamond a reassuring smile. “But I can see you both mean well. I can tell my fellow changelings that neither of you mean any harm. All I ask is that you cease with this queen business. Erm, if you don’t mind.”
Diamond scoffed at those words, she wasn’t having it. “Are you serious? She’s your mom! I get it, she tried to have you destroyed, I get that. But I also happen to know she’s cried about all of you, missing all of you. Everytime Scrappy is around her, she’s always really happy to have him around. She’s changed! Really! Why can’t you give her a chance? Just one! It’s Hearthwarming soon!”
Thorax fidgeted for a moment, frowning before shaking his head. “We just can’t. I’m very sorry.”
“Wow, I figured you guys would be more understanding. But you all really just hate her guts, huh?” You said, staring hard at Thorax before giving a somber look towards Diamond. That determination she had, it was like looking in a mirror. You worked so hard to reform Chrysalis, now she was working hard to get her brood to see she’s changed. You started to feel awful about the whole thing.
“I-I didn’t say that! We changelings don’t hate anymore! We just… Don’t like her, that’s all.” Thorax said with a gulp.
Diamond looked up at you, then gave a scowl towards Thorax as she began to walk away. “Come on, Anon, let’s go.”
Go? “Diamond?”
“What? Whatever, Anon, you were right. I can’t even believe it. Like, all the changelings were totally forgiven for everything they ever did, and are even accepted by, like, everypony. But Big Sis? Their mother? Nope, she gets treated like trash. Even if she was evil before, she fed them, kept them together, and risked her life for them. I know she did a lot of bad stuff, but I guess that also means she should have a lonely Hearthwarming too. I can’t stand to think about it, Anon. Her sitting in her house, all alone, while everypony around her is with family. You’ve seen her when she sleeps, right? She actually cries! She calls out to her babies! She hugs onto her little doll and it just gets so wet from tears. It… It makes me want to cry too.” Diamond said, starting to wipe her eyes… Despite no tears coming out.
Waaaait a second. Chrysalis doesn’t do those last things she listed. Well, she kinda did when she was drunk. Oh, OH! You figured it out! It was one of those, the same thing you pulled on Neighsay. Ohh, Diamond, now that’s sneaky. She came up with this one all on her own, and you kinda really digged it. “I mean, yeah. It scares me… She’s confided in me a lot, and… Did you know she contemplates ending herself for the horrid things she felt she put her children through?” You said, giving Diamond a hidden smirk as you wink at her.
Diamond smiles warmly for a moment, more than glad you caught on so quickly, before starting to sob. “That’s terrible! Anon! That’s so… Big sis! Oh, Big Sis. If… If I lost her, then… I-I think I’d have to do that too and-” Diamond stops when she hears a sound coming from behind, it was sobbing.
When you both looked back, Thorax was on the ground, crying his eyes out. Diamond smirked evilly for a moment before walking up to him. “What are you crying for? You weren't eavesdropping on us, were you?”
Thorax pouted, before bursting into tears again. “I didn’t mean to! You both were just so loud! I didn’t mean to! I swear! I didn’t even know that’s how she felt! Oh Celestia, forgive me! I should have listened! How could I have been so mean?! She, wait!” Thorax stood up suddenly, looking at you both with urgent eyes. “She… She didn’t do it, did she!? Is she still with us?! Please, you can’t let her end herself. I told you, we don’t hate her. I don’t, but I just didn’t know! Please, please, forgive me.”
Wow, he was easier to break than Neighsay too. Not surprising, but goddamn. ”I mean, it’s on you, dude. Hearthwarming is soon and you guys just decided that she isn’t worth a feather.”
“Yeah, it isn’t like you all couldn’t at least be with her for at least one day or anything like that.” Diamond said, giving Thorax a harsh look. “You wouldn’t, would you?”
“I would! I just didn’t know! Please, stop, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. If only I had known, I’d have gone to see her so long ago. I… I know!” Thorax said, as he suddenly brightened up, his wings fluttering. “I’ll go see her right now! I’ll let her know that I can talk to the other changelings to give her a chance! Now that I know who she is now, I’m sure she’ll be happy to see me! Oh, there’s no time to waste! Thank you, you two!” Thorax said as he immediately waved back to you two as he began to fly away.
Well, that was easy.
But then when you looked at Diamond, she suddenly was pale with dread. “Diamond? You alright? What’s wrong? We just managed to get Thorax to go see Chr- Oh no…” And that’s when you filled with dread. “We’re freaking out because everything we told him wasn’t true and we didn’t have time to tell Chrysalis at all about it, right?”
“Uh huh…” Diamond said with a stunned nod. “Big Sis isn’t going to kill him, is she?”
Probably? “Ummm…”
“Anon! We have to do something! I wanted them to forgive her in time! Not right now! This is bad, this is super bad! What are we going to do?!” Diamond said in a panic.
“Okay, hold on! Hold on! We still have time, right? All we have to do is talk to Chrysalis and tell her what we said to Thorax and ask her to just… Fake it, she’s done it before, like, all the time.” You said. It seemed like the most logical answer to this mess.
“Anon, didn’t she want to murder that guy?! Big Sis can get pretty angry! And she’s stubborn! I don’t think I could convince her to play nice! And she already is being really patient with meeting your aunt tomorrow! This could ruin everything!” Diamond said, gulping hard as she began to shake in panic.
That was true. If Thorax showed up unannounced, she’d fucking want to kill the guy there and then, or at least rip him a new one. How were you going to handle this? The only thing you could think of was making another addition to the house as an apology and a compromise. But what could you give her that she didn’t already have or need? What could you add that would make her happy?
An underground hot spring, of course! That has to work! Thank you, horny animes!
You look over to Diamond, and you hold on to her hooves to calm her down. She suddenly becomes silent, looking at you with a blush. “A-Anon?”
“Diamond, you proved me wrong. You managed to convince Thorax in a way I couldn’t, but now we have a little more work to do. You just keep working your magic, alright? I got a plan. I think Chrysalis would be a little more willing to do this if I gave her something, like a hot spring, what do you think?” You asked.
“That… That could work.” Diamond said quietly as she began to calm down. “But it’s not just getting her to agree, she also would have to stay calm. She only has so much patience, Anon. And that guy is a total wimp, even I would get mad having to talk to him for so long.”
“Then the only way is to stick around, make sure she doesn’t blow her top. If you’re there, Diamond, I’m sure she’d be more mindful. Call me crazy, but I feel like she at least tries to be of a kinda good influence on you. You’re her ‘'little sister’ after all.” You said with a reassuring wink. It had to work, it frightened you, but if Diamond was there, then there was still a chance this could go smoothly. “All we have to do is make sure Thorax doesn’t have an emotional breakdown or something.”
“You mean like he just did?” Diamond asked
“Yeah.” You replied. feeling some doubt.
Diamond suddenly entered deep thought, as if taking his sudden emotions into consideration. She then looked over at you inquisitively. “Anon… Does he even know where Big Sis lives?”
Huh? Wait, that’s a good question. “Um, I don’t think so.”
Diamond rolled her eyes “Bring him back here. There’s nothing to worry about, and I think I can even use that to our advantage.”
“‘That’?” You asked, as you reluctantly placed your horn on your head. “What’s the plan?”
“Easy, just follow my lead.” Diamond said, looking at you with confidence.
Follow her lead, huh? Well, there really wasn’t anything to worry about given Thorax didn’t actually know where Chrysalis lived. Was she going to use ‘that’ against him? You only had two charges left, so she was going to have to make this count. You had to trust her, she already got this far with him, so let’s see if she can seal the deal. “Gotcha. Alright, here we go!” And with just a nod, you use your horn to summon Thorax back, causing him to crash and flip around on the ground.
“Gyah! Gah! MPH! Ngh… W-what happened?” Thorax said, slowly standing up, confused and dizzy. “A-am I back at the hive? How did that happen?”
“Because we brought you back. What were you thinking?!” Diamond said, making sure to sound fierce.
“H-huh?! It was just like I said, I-I was going to go see the former queen! I swear!” Thorax said, shaking from her words, still feeling rather skittish about all of this.
“Well, duh, we knew that. But do you even know where she lives?!” She asked him.
“Yes!... No…. No. Erm, I-I guess you brought me back because, well, I goofed. S-sorry. W-would you happen to know where she lives?” Thorax asked as politely as he could.
Diamond groaned as she slapped her forehead with her hoof. “Ugh, I can’t believe you. Right now Big Sis is at the spa, all day, as an early present from me since it’ll be closed on Hearthwarming. And there you go, almost spoiling everything!”
“I didn’t know that! Oh gosh, Oh my, I could have ruined her day. I’m so sorry…” Thorax said with a bow.
Christ, what a fucking wimp.
“You better be. In fact, to make it up to me for almost ruining everything, why don’t you let me make the arrangements. You should at least get your subjects to understand what's going to happen before you fly off, don’t you think?” Diamond asked him, giving him a stink-eye.
“I… I should.” Thorax said meekly.
“Exactly. So here’s how it’s going to happen. Me and Anon are going to talk to her, and we’ll tell her you want to meet her personally. We’re going to have to make sure she understands this is for good reasons and not bad, you understand that, right? The situation is super sketchy as it is and I certainly don’t want her thinking you hate her or that the whole thing is hopeless. Got it? This is really really delicate.” Diamond explained to him.
“I c-can agree. It is delicate. I can’t believe I just flew off like that! Ugh, stupid, stupid! My fellow changelings would have been so worried if I had actually left like that too. I’m so sorry, you two. All of this, it has been my fault. For all the understanding you ponies have shown us, I somehow forgot that we need to be a little understanding too. Alright, until we have your word, I’ll refrain from taking any further actions.” Thorax said, feeling terrible for what he’s done.
“We’ll, um, send a letter when everything is ready to go, okay?” Diamond told him.
“Right, that should work. So then, um, what now? Would you like to come back in? We’d love to have you!” Thorax offered with a wide inviting grin.
Go back in there? No way, not after all this. “Erm, no, I’m good. What about you, Diamond?”
“I, um, I have to go home, actually. I got lots of stuff to do.” Diamond said.
Thorax nodded, not giving a second thought to it. “Alright then. You both have a good day, and if I somehow don’t get a chance, have a good Hearthwarming too!” Thorax said with a wave before heading back into the hive.
Diamond slumped to the ground with a heavy sigh. “Ughhhh, that was too close. No wonder Big Sis didn’t like him.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. But hey, you got what you wanted. Good job, Diamond, I’m pretty impressed.” You seriously were. Either Ocellus was just more unwilling than Thorax was or Thorax really was that much of a pussy that he didn’t want to upset anyone, even someone who tried to kill him.
“Well, yeah, you totally should be. I saved the day this time.” Diamond said as she began to snuggle up next to you. “Maybe they should be calling me the hero filly.”
You started to blush at the attention, something you were sure she was doing right now as well. “Y-yeah. But, wait, how exactly are we going to tell Chrysalis? Like, set her up for all this I mean?”
“We’ll tell her after tomorrow, you know, after your ‘family’ time with her. If it goes really good, then telling her should be fine. If it goes bad, then don’t worry about it, because I know it won’t go bad.” Diamond stated.
Yeah… That makes sense. If Fluttershy could actually make some progress and actually get along with Chrysalis, then carefully setting something up with Chrysalis and Thorax should be easy. “You know what? I agree, it won’t go bad.” You let out a defeated, yet humored sigh as you look at Diamond with a smirk. “Looks like you really proved me wrong. So, 'hero filly', what now?” You seriously had to hand it to her. Not only did she actually back up her claims, but she was as devious as you or Chrysalis when it comes to ensuring victory. You were humbled, and so you felt you’d give Diamond whatever she wanted for a job well done.
Diamond smirked back at you, before looking at you longingly. “Oh? Still sticking with me, huh? That’s cool. Well, since I still have your attention, there is something I want from you.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, what is it? Oh glorious future wife.” You said with a glorious cocky smirk.
Diamond’s eyes became a little dreamier as she looked into your eyes, she then raised a hoof and gave you a boop on the nose. “Can you take me home so I can take a nap? I’d totally hang out with you more but…” She lets out a cute little yawn as she stretches forward. “I’m so tired from all this excitement.” She then slowly begins to nuzzle into you. “We really gotta go on another date soon though, somewhere romantic.”
You let out a gentle laugh as you return her affections and place your horn on your head to teleport back to her home. “We should, and if we can’t find a place, then I’ll make one, just for you.”
“A-Anon… Mnnn, you’re the best.” She said, staying by your side as you both teleport away.
A while ago, months ago really, Discord had a surprise to show you. A gift of sorts. With Jimmy long gone, stepping out of the house was actually safe… Mostly. So, in a sort of celebration, he crafted a balcony of your own to sit out on, on a bean bag chair to observe the chaotic abyss of this realm. He kept it simple, nothing much more than this, and you didn’t mind that at all. If you wanted to add something on your own, you had the means.
You were in deep thought. Diamond Tiara, hot damn, you couldn’t believe it. When it came to Chrysalis, she managed to convince King Thorax much easier than it took for you to convince Ocellus, and even then, you didn’t convince her all the way. Actually, you felt a bit of jealousy as well. It takes you so long to get anywhere with anyone, sometimes screwing the relationships you have, only for them to bounce back due to how forgiving the world is. But then there’s Diamond. Chrysalis came on to her quickly, Thorax as well, she actually seemed to have something you lacked. You sighed. “Am I really not that good? Those changelings, they fear me as much as they fear Chrysalis. But Diamond? She just… Damn. I’m supposed to be better than this.”
“You know, for all the marmalade you give me for not confessing whatever feelings you think I have for Fluttershy, you yourself can’t seem to admit that, when it comes to a relationship, you are only one half of a greater whole.” Said Discord, who… Goddammit, he was resting right next to you on a lawn chair, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, sipping from a cup with tiny pineapples in it as a drink. “In fact, you’re quite the hypocrite. You’re allowed to invest all your time to save her while you try to stop anypony else from helping her unless YOU need THEM.” Discord then looks at you as he smirks arrogantly, slightly raising his sunglasses as he winks. “Or maybe you just think with all that insider knowledge and human bravado that you’re just better than everypony else. And if that’s the case, then it looks like you really haven’t learned anything.”
DAMMIT, DISCORD! “Hey! That’s not it at all! I just didn’t want her to get hurt! The whole point is to not involve anypony, to not put them in danger.”
“Ah yes, King Thorax, the most ruthless and powerful being in Equestria. How he makes me quiver.” Discord said with a chuckle.
Ngh… “W-well, you’re still wrong. I was impressed with what Diamond did, you know that, right? It makes things easier for me too, I don’t have to worry about the hive screwing things up. Look, Discord, do you mind not doing your mind games right now? I’m still learning, but I told myself I wasn’t going to be an asshole anymore. And that includes including anyone that might get hurt in the process, that goes for emotionally too. I was trying to spare Diamond her feelings, and instead, she impressed me. Why can’t you accept that?”
“Eh, fine. If you say so. Either way, I didn’t really come to antagonize you. I came to offer you a proposition.” Discord said, taking a sip from his cup.
Wut? “A deal? What? What do you want to do to me to make tomorrow go smoothly, o petty one?”
Discord takes another sip, then tosses the glass into the abyss. “To you? Nothing. Fluttershy has made it very very clear that I am to be on a behavior on par with Princess Celestia herself. I wouldn’t say Celestia is a paragon of ‘good behavior’, but fine, I get it. No, instead…” Discord holds out a letter to you. “I got an interesting letter in the mail today. I’m sure you’ll understand once you give it a read.”
A letter? You plop on your horn to take advantage of its basic telekinesis and begin to read the letter. It was a letter addressed to the both of you asking you both to come to Las Pegasus to negotiate a partnership for a Hearthwarming special event. Free tickets for everyone you know, but also promises to be a supremely profit- Oh goddammit! “Flim and Flam?! Really?! These assholes don’t know when to quit. I already rejected the free offer to their resort before. So why are they trying this now?!”
“I suppose they also expect us to behave ourselves given it is close to the holidays, making it the safest opportunity to make a deal. And, I must admit, our magic being used to create a very expensive to get into extravaganza would indeed be profitable for them. However, Anon, you know we aren’t going to agree to this. And we also know there’s so many ways to put down an offer.” Discord said, giving you an especially evil glare as he takes off his sunglasses.
Ohhhhh, that’s it, huh? “So, another mission for the chaos compadres, eh? Okay, okay, I’m game. I really don’t mind teaming up with you for old time’s sake if it means you’ll actually be more agreeable tomorrow. So, what’s the con?”
“Didn’t really care to think of one. I figured we stick to the basics and work off each other, as it should be. However, I did think of a motif for ourselves. Cool, suave, important, and silent unless necessary. How does that sound?” Discord said as he snapped his talons, donning a suit has his beard and hair slicked up in a professional manner.
“A little weird, actually. I kinda expected a bit more chaos, especially with who we’re dealing with. It almost sounds like you want to play it straight.” How curious. You think you got it, just be difficult while acting cool, but it didn’t seem like something that’d get the kind of reactions Discord would normally be going for.
“I do! Yes, being the strong silent business types may sound boring, but you haven’t seen our ace in the hole yet. But first…” Discord points at you as his talon lit on fire.
Oh shit! “Discord! Discord! If you’re gonna dress me up! Do it with a snap and not aREGFDGF” You felt a flash of a burning sensation as you literally blew into flames and burned right into a black business suit and a cool slicked back mane, though your nose still had a tiny fire on it. You just angrily looked at Discord as you snuffed out the flame. “Had to get one in, huh?”
“Well, I just wanted you to be a little more fired up for the grand reveal of our business mediator. Presenting…” Discord raised his paw and gave it a mighty snap. In an instant, Scootaloo appears in a business suit of her own, wearing sunglasses. “Scootaloo!”
WUT?! “What in the…? Disco-er, Dad! What are you doing?! You can’t just force Scootaloo into this! Are you really going to be that much of a jerk? I get it, you don’t want to deal with tomorrow, but there’s no reason for this!”
“Huh? Oh, hey! This is pretty nice.” Scootaloo said as she looked at the white cuffs with gold buttons on her suited legs. “Oh! Right!” Scootaloo turned around to look at Discord. “We’re doing this now, huh? Oh, hey, Anon, was that you yelling just now? Why?”
…Why did she not look surprised? “U-uhm, Scoots? Er, um, I… You’re not angry? Or, er, scared?”
“About what? Your dad is a bit late, but whatever, I’m still down to stick it to those two jerks.” Scootaloo said with determination before letting out a giggle. “Man, if this goes perfectly, I wonder if I would have been a cutie mark mediator instead.”
Your face just contorted in confusion as you let out a “Huh?”
“Oh, right, you don’t know what’s going on at all. You see, after witnessing your little snow war, I came to Scootaloo with the offer to be our mediator in trade of some rare buckball cards, including one featuring her favorite coach. She agreed. I then simply had to wait for you to get back from your little errand to get this whole thing started.” Discord said. “By the way, I think you should have fought the old mare. It would have been more entertaining than you running away from a bug.”
“Ugh, whatever, Discord. Still, kinda weird for you to involve Scootaloo anyway.” You said, trying to figure out his reasoning.
“I thought it was weird he’d offer me those rare cards. I would have done this for free. Those guys are really rotten. I still remember what they tried to do that one Nightmare Night.” Scootaloo said, sitting as she pounded her forelegs together. “I’m gonna be the best mediator anypony has ever seen! Just you wait!”
“Oh, I'm sure you'll do fine. And why are you so suspicious, Anon? I’m simply securing the laughs to be had, nothing more.” Discord said, being a little more annoyed than he should be, crossing his arms in agitation.
Nothing more? He could have gotten literally anyone else who would have been okay with this. Hell, any Apple family member would have probably been totally okay… Ohhhhhhh. You look to Discord with an evil glare of your own. “It’s because of ‘THAT’, isn’t it?”
“B-because of what? Why are you looking at me like that?” Discord said, backing off a bit, like he knew what you were going to say.
“I dunno, let me just take a guess. Either you involved Scootaloo because of what you said, or you were FOURTHED into it! Haha!” You laughed, figuring it out. His emotions must have acted up. You don’t know why it did, but for some reason, the memories of Four must have bubbled up within him, and it made him want to involve Scootaloo while giving her something a little extra for essentially nothing.
“Is that a pun? What does Fourthe-Ohh! You mean… Discord…” Scootaloo looked to Discord with big wondering eyes. “Are you actually wanting me along because you wanted my company? Like, because of Four? But why now?”
Discord began to groan, turning away from the both of you. “Must I say? I was watching that war and saw how you got pummeled by that bug. And for some insane reason, I felt something. I won’t say what it is, but I felt… Something.” Discord turned around, holding some sort of bomb with a green gassy-like symbol. A stink bomb?
“Alright, alright, I won’t be a jerk like you and rub it in. It’s just kinda cool you actually got worried about her. So, uh, what’s with the bomb? That a present for the brothers?” You asked, gazing at it.
“Brothers? Oh, no no.” Discord said as he casually opened a warp hole into Starlight’s office. “This is a special present for Starlight, for all she’s vaguely done to make this possible.” He says as he casually tosses it through, a scream coming from the portal before it is silenced from Discord closing it. “Alright then, let us prepare. Anon, you’re my partner, and like I said, we’re playing it cool. So just do as I do and we’ll be inside their heads fairly soon.”
“And all I gotta do is be annoying and stuff?” Scootaloo asked
“Indeed, just like a real mediator. Now, since we are a team, and a trio, and other related words dealing with togetherness, let us bring paw and hooves together.” Discord said as he brought his hoof forward.
Poor Starlight. Ah well, she’ll be fine. “Yeah, let’s do this, for old time’s sake.” You say, placing your hoof on his paw.
“We’re really doing this! Yeah! And hey, Discord, look. If it helps, I really do appreciate you bringing me along. I know you’re not Four, but I know a part of him is in thDFDSFSD” Suddenly, Scootaloo’s mouth becomes zipped.
Discord just rolls his eyes as he puts his talons over his temple, giving it a massage. “Can we just say ‘Go Team!’ and get on with it before I change my mind?”
Scootaloo just groans, and puts her hoof over yours. “MGh MTheam”
“That’s better.” Discord said, as he prepared to snap his talons to start the show.
You, Discord, and Scootaloo stood in a void as you all peered across the double dark blue doors ahead of you all. Within the room ahead was a table covered by a tarp, spotlights shut off over it. There were six seats set up around the table, with two looking like royal thrones with velvet red padding and the brothers’ mugs chiseled at the top end of each seat. Behind this all was a vault fastened to the wall, closed of course.
“Well, this is a bust. Why’d you take us here? I don’t see them.” You said as you narrowed your eyes and peered through the doors, seeing no sign of the brothers.
“Chaos isn’t an exact science, Anon. I took us to where they most likely would be, near their bits.” Discord said, raising his paw over his eyes as he gazed forward. “No, no, definitely not here. Hmmmm, well, this really is quite the bust.”
“Well, wait, guys. Do they have to be in this room? Can’t we just go look for them?” Scootaloo asked.
“We could, but if we’re going to make a great impression, then it has to look like we’re the ones on the attack. There’s a chance where we might find them just wouldn’t look good on us. That being said, I’m open to suggestions.” Discord said as he took out a comb and began to run it through his eyebrows.
“I mean, I don’t totally agree with that. But if it has to be in this room, can’t we just teleport them here? Wait, no, don’t answer that. I get it, it’d ruin the sense of surprise.” You said, stopping yourself as you began to ponder. But then you noticed something, Scootaloo was staring at the vault. “Scoots?”
“Yeah? Sorry, I was just looking at the vault and, um, well, these guys are all about making bits, right?” Scootaloo asked as she took a few steps forward, peering closer at the vault beyond the doors.
“Yeah. Hm?” You look over to see what she’s looking at. The vault? “What? Are you thinking we should just rob them? I mean, that’s something I think they deserve. But then again, I heard they actually run this place pretty legitimately. Which means we’d never hear the end of it from Twilight if she found out.”
“Twilight? We’d never hear the end of it from Fluttershy. As hilarious as I think it sounds, we are not taking a single bit from them.” Discord said, with sound authority.
“I didn’t say we’d rob them, guys. I was thinking we’d just open the vault and that’s it. Look, right up there.” Scootaloo ducks so she could point up as high as she could above the vault door. When you and Discord hunched over to take a look, you could see a single parakeet in a cage above. “I think that’s supposed to squawk if somepony gets close to the vault.”
“That bird?” Discord said, pointing at it as he chortled. “What kind of alarm is that? It’s no wonder they were nearly robbed by those griffons before, that is such a lousy alarm system.”
“Yeah, you say that, but it’s there for a reason.” This one was predictable. You put your hooves over your ears and ducked down, knowing for a fact that the tiny bird was going to fucking break glass. “Cover your ears, Scoots. It’s gonna get loud.”
“On it!” Scootaloo said as she ducked down, covering her ears as well.
“Now this is just moronic.” Discord said as he raised his talons, ready to snap. “You’re telling me that small bird can make a loud enough sound to escape this room? I doubt that thing can even make a tweet. Honestly, you’re both being foa-” But the moment Discord snapped his talons to slightly open the vault, the parakeet let out a high pitched roar of a stream of tweets, causing his ears to explode as he just gave off a vacant stare. “I stand corrected.” He said in bafflement as he rubbed his talons in his ears to push out two literal broken drums.
“Alright! Alright! We hear you!” Yelled one of the brothers as they rushed into the room. They just materialized in front of the open doors before you, which meant that these doors and their normal entrance doors were probably connected to one another, which kept you all out of sight.
“Look, brother, the vault’s been opened!” Flam cried out as he followed behind Flim, the parakeet still blaring.
Flim quickly moves the curtains behind the cage around to block the parakeet’s view and stop it from screeching. “I can see that, brother. Quick, check around the table and I’ll have a peek inside.”
You three watched as Flam began to look around the room, checking around the chairs and walls as Flim entered the vault.
“See? I knew that’d work.” Scootaloo said, standing with pride, an accomplished smile on her face.
“Nice one, Scootaloo!” You cheered. Really, it was nice to see that it actually worked. Impressive.
Discord was giving a slow but enthusiastic applause. “Nice one indeed. And while I do applaud you, we still haven’t even started. Now then, Scootaloo, I’m expecting a spectacular performance from you. Do me proud and I might just decide to turn your room into the ultimate Rainbow Dash experience. It’ll be exactly like her room.”
“R-really?” Scootaloo said as her eyes lit up, her wings flittering with excitement.
“Does that involve literally cutting Rainbow Dash’s room from her cloud house and putting it in Scootaloo’s house?” You asked, knowing damn well it did.
“Well, it wouldn’t be the ultimate experience unless it was authentic.” Discord said with a surly grin as he shrugged.
Scootaloo was still smiling, however, even if she wasn’t as excited. “I appreciate that, Discord. I really do. The thought of it, I mean.” Scootaloo then looked ahead as the brothers began to talk to one another, confused as to how the vault opened despite no one being around. “I’m still gonna try to impress the both of you, though. I’m gonna show you what a pegasus pony like me can really do!”
“Go get them, Scootaloo! Make those guys regret the day they invited me and Dad for some crummy business deal!” You cheered.
Scootaloo nodded, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “Mediator, got it. Wait…” Scootaloo looked back at Discord, a little confused. “Just to make sure, I’m actually just there to annoy them, right? What if they just cut the deal before you guys even get a chance to walk in?”
Discord just looked at her with a bit of skepticism on that. “Let’s not be getting ahead of ourselves now. Doing something like that when they need that deal more than anything would be more impressive than anything Anon has ever done, and that would mean I’d have to punish him.”
“What?! You can’t do that! How would that be more impressive than me, anyway?!” You have reformed villains, saved other timelines, and survived near-death experiences. How was that more impressive then your exploits?!
“Because, relatively speaking, it would be. Besides, I can do whatever I want, and your butt might just have a date with a cheese grater if she seals the deal herself.” Discord said as his grin towards you became more and more menacing.
If this was you from when you arrived in Equestria, that’d actually scare you. Instead, you just roll your eyes at him with a huff. “Whatever, you’re just messing with me. Hey, Scootaloo, don’t worry about me, alright? Just do your best. I wanna see what you got.”
“Your dad isn’t going to grind your butt?” Scootaloo asked, with genuine worry in her tone.
Discord, having a more learned human vocabulary, just bursts out laughing from those words as you just stare past Scootaloo, unamused. “He won’t, he better not.”
Scootaloo nodded, then pointed towards Discord, making a declaration at him. “I mean it, Discord! If you hurt Anon, then there’s no way we can be friends! Got it?”
Discord’s laughter came to a choking halt. He had to take a breath before giving Scootaloo a deep gutted groan. “Fine, fine, I was merely joking anyway. Just don’t go thinking whatever friendship we do have means you can guilt trip me whenever you please. While you are a step above acquaintance, that doesn’t mean we’re besties.”
Scootaloo just rolled her eyes at him, getting frustrated that he suddenly decided to be difficult over the already shaky bond they do have. “Whatever, I’m just going to go do my thing now.” Scootaloo said as she began to walk past the threshold of the doors while muttering to herself. “I wish you were Four…”
“Geez, Discord. Way to be a buzzkill there.” You said to him as you watched Scootaloo take a deep breath to prepare herself.
“Buzzkill?! Me?! I was stating facts!” Discord exclaimed in defense of himself.
“Ugh, look, you invited Scootaloo to help us with this. You did, and it kind of reminds her of Four. I know you hated him, and I know you’re not him. But you have his memories, right? You don’t see how you could have hurt her feelings?” You asked him.
“No!... Yes… Ugh, to actually be cursed with such memories is less than manageable sometimes” Discord groaned as he slapped his face with his paw. “A bit too late to apologize right now, however.”
“Give it time, you can apologize afterwards, alright?” You tell him, hoping he would do just that.
“Alright, ‘Twilight’. Ngh, now I’m frustrated. I just want to get this apology over with to clear my conscience. But no, we have to be in the middle of a prank. I’m so angry, so ANNOYED, that I can…” Discord grabs yet another stink bomb and opens a portal, tossing it in before closing it. There was a quick scream of ‘NO, I JUST DISINFECTED THE WHOLE RO-’ before the portal completely closed. “There, now I am at peace. Or as much peace a draconequus can feel.”
“Again?” You asked him, feeling sorry for Starlight more than ever… Yet wanting to make sure you avoid her at all costs for the rest of the day.
“Yes, and it’ll be even funnier the third time I eventually do it.” Discord said to you.
You just popped your lips as you looked forward through the doors. “Okay then.”
Flim was already locking up the vault as Flam stared at it, confused. “How unnerving. Do you think one of us simply forgot to lock the vault?”
Flim looked back at him before completely sealing it, his eyes full of doubt. “Nonsense, brother. I’d like to think we both aren’t foolish enough to do a silly thing like that.”
However, as Flim said this, Scootaloo made her entrance, silently looking around the room before approaching the grand chairs of the brothers and giving them a gentle shove to test their sturdiness. This caught the attention of the brothers, who seemed astonished.
“...Or perhaps we somehow lost our minds and forgot to lock everything. We may need to check the cash registers later.” Flim said with a gulp as he approached the curious filly. “Excuse me, miss? May I ask how you got in here?”
Scootaloo nearly answered him, but she remembered she was supposed to be cool and collected, and caught herself. She then silently went to the other chair, and gave it a tiny shove. “Mhmm, mhmm.”
“Ahrm, miss, we don’t mean to be rude, but we asked you a question.” Flam said, as he made sure the vault was locked, even after Flim had checked it.
“My brother is correct. However, please don’t be frightened, we are friendly stallions. Given your state of dress, your parents must be very important ponies.” Flim said, as he suddenly began putting on the charm.
Flam, almost like he had a mental link with his brother, immediately figured out what he was doing, and lifted his hat to drop a bag of… bits? Was it bits? He just dropped it in front of Scootaloo. “I have to agree, brother. A filly such as this needs to be treated with respect. Please, we only ask how you got in here for the sake of our security. On an unrelated note, here is fifty tokens to extend your play.”
Flim then took his turn. “Yes! We always enjoy it when our guests are having fun. In fact, please be sure to tell your parents about us. Furthermore, if they haven’t already…” Flim pulls a flier out of his hat and hands it to Scootaloo. “You should ask them to stay for the Hearthwarming festivities we have. I’m sure your happiness is more important than the more than generous price we are offering to join in on the fun.”
Scootaloo just looked at the flier boredly and groaned. “If you guys are going to impress Anon and Discord, then you’re doing a terrible job.”
“What?” The brothers both asked, confused by her words. Not only confused, but suddenly worried.
“You heard me. Also, get these chairs to the other side of the table. They’re going to need them for the meeting. And don’t give me any back talk, or else we’re gonna walk out of here.” Scootaloo said, staring at them with a cold look.
The brothers looked at each other, they whispered words you couldn’t quite hear. But amazingly, they seemed to believe Scootaloo instantly. They weren’t stupid, it seemed. If a filly came in mentioning you and Discord all of a sudden, then there’s no reason not to believe her, given she’d have to have known about the deal to even mention it. Flim suddenly became more cautious, his words less jovial. “Who exactly are you?”
“I’m the mediator, I’m here to make sure everything goes okay since you guys are totally blowing your chances already. Like I said, get these chairs over there, now! Also, don’t ask stupid questions, it makes you look dumb.” Scootaloo was doing her best to keep her calm as it already looked like she wanted to burst out laughing.
“Mediator? Now see here, we don’t need a mediator. We already plan to keep this meeting civil. Surely you don’t expect us to believe you’re nothing more than a tool to get us riled up.” Flam said accusingly.
“Something we both know too well from your friend, Anon.” Flim said with a gulp, looking around for not only you, but a possible Deathclaw popping out at any moment. “Look, we are simple stallions looking to make a simple deal. Can you just be a dear and get them for us?”
Scootaloo looked like she was in deep thought for a moment, it actually put you and Discord on edge.
“She’s hesitating.” Discord noted, flexing his talons from the tension.
“Hold on, hold on, she was doing good so far. I don’t think any of us was expecting them to catch on that fast.” Dammit, you thought she’d be able to play off from their disbelief, but they already were cornering her. It wasn’t like you and Discord couldn’t just waltz in, but given Discord wasn’t making that suggestion himself, it was clear he was waiting to see how Scootaloo could recover from this.
“Hard to recover when they’re being so straightforward. Toying with them in any other way is boring, toying with their expectations is the whole point to all of this. None of this has any meaning if we can’t even make our grand entrance.” Discord said, as his hope began to dwindle.
“And we will, just give her a second.” Come on, Scootaloo, COME ON!
Scootaloo began to falter more and more, her ears folding as she seemed to be frustrated with herself trying to think of something, as she too had planned to try to mess with their disbelief.
But then she looked at the bag of tokens dropped in front of her from before, and it made her think. She then looked up at them, cleared her throat, and walked to the back end of the table and pointed. “Look, you two, you just tried to offer me fifty tokens thinking I was some rich family’s filly. You have no idea who I am and what I’m capable of. There’s a reason Discord chose me as his mediator. I’m top class, and they pay with bags of bits, not ‘tokens’. Maybe you haven’t heard, but Anon is the future heir of the Rich estate. Do you know what that means? Of course you don’t, and that’s why I’m here.” Scootaloo then rolled her eyes as she groaned at them. “Seriously, I can’t believe what I’m working with here. Do you understand how much hard work it took to get them both to act high class? I have had to negotiate with half of Canterlot to prove that Discord can be as civil as any rich pony. I have helped make sure bigger deals than this one have gone smoothly. So, here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re going to put the seats there, you’re gonna get us the best sodas you got, and you’re going to refer to them as ‘Lord’ before you say their names, capish?” Scootaloo said, giving them both a powerful and demanding stare.
“That’s outrageou… Wait, he really is an heir to the Rich estate? I had thought that was just a bit of fleeting puppy love.” Flam said, skeptical of her words.
“Are you serious? If it wasn't for Anon’s crazy chaos stuff, you’d never be able to keep those two apart. You did hear about their super expensive practice wedding, didn’t you?” Scootaloo said, stepping forward towards Flam, standing stalwart and strong.
“I actually did, it was in the paper. But even then… Mnnn…” Flim began to falter, looking down as his eyes began to jitter. He then looked to his brother silently, who stared back at him. Flim then sighed. “Do we have to refer to them as Lord? That seems a bit much.”
“Then how does Emperor and Prince do ya? Remember, Discord is pretty much the king of all chaos.” Scootaloo said, before turning her back towards them. “Or I can just leave and tell them the deal is off.” She then turns her head slightly towards them with a smirk. “I mean, isn’t this deal super important for your profits or something?”
The brothers went silent, they just seemed astonished as they seemed to speak to each other near wordlessly. Then, with them both giving a heavy sigh, they moved the seats with their magic for you and Discord to sit on. They then both spoke in unison, utterly defeated in their tone. “So then, when can we expect L-lord Discord and Lord Anon?”
“As soon as you get the drinks.” Scootaloo said with a smirk, then looked back towards the open doors and winked towards the both of you. "And make sure mine has three ice cubes, or the deal is off."
Flim and Flam seemed a tad shaken as they walked off to get the drinks, already a good sign of things to come.
“Holy shit! She did it!” You said, jumping up and throwing your hoof in cheer. “That was actually pretty fu-Discord?” When you turned towards him, he was… He was just staring, with a tear in his eye. “Hey, Discord, you alright? Are you actually, like… Crying?”
“No! I just tripped on my way over and caught an ocean in my eye! Can’t a draconequus deal with their very obvious eye injuries in peace?!” Discord said as he turned away, wiping his face with his arm.
“Yeah, heh, you can. Sorry.” You said, looking at him trying to compose himself, smiling warmly. He really did care, even if he hated it.
“Hmmm, hmmm…” Scootaloo was inspecting the drinks, being as excruciatingly slow as possible.
Flim and Flam were tense. They obviously wanted to say something, and they looked visibly upset. Yet they knew who they were dealing with, and perhaps were even regretting their decision. But Scootaloo didn’t relent, she even slightly tilted each cup to check their balance and tested the chairs for comfort over and over just to see if they’d blow it, and thus, ‘ruin the whole deal’.
“Christ, I don’t know what’s more impressive, Scootaloo keeping a straight face or the brothers’ patience. I mean, fuck, I would have exploded by now, it’s already been twenty minutes. She’s seriously milking it.” It really was surprising. She barely showed any signs of cracking up. A smile here and there, but that was about it.
“I know, I probably should have just adopted her and left you back on Earth if she was going to be this impressive.” Discord said, staring intently at the filly. Though when he noticed you suddenly gave him a grumpy look, he sheepishly raised his hands. “Kidding, I’m kidding. For the sake of the prank, let us forget I said that.”
Hm, heh, he didn’t want to cause any issues, even if he’s predisposed to causing issues in the first place. The fact he quickly apologized was only characteristic of him if it turned out he was catching his own shit. You just gave him a cool smile and nodded. “Sure, no problem. Heh, sooooooooooooo, hrm, how are we gonna do this? Because I was thinking of walking in to the tune of the ‘Imperial March’. What do you think?”
Discord just gave you a skewed stare. “...Nopony is going to get that reference. You know that, right?”
“Man, I don’t care. It isn’t like it’s something zany or anything. It is a song that demands attention, shows dominance, inflicts fear. Isn’t that what we’re going for?” You asked, just giving him a mocking version of his stare back at him. “Or is that not enough for you?”
Discord stood there in silence, and looked back at the brothers as they grew ever more tense, seemingly ready to explode at Scootaloo, or at least reprimand her. Scootaloo just kept her cool, and at that moment, she turned back towards the doors and gave a nod. Discord saw that and knew it was the cue to walk in. Discord raises his talons, and silently gave them a snap as the Imperial March from Star Wars began to play in the air, already causing the brothers to duck and flinch. Discord then began to walk forward as calmly and cooly as he could as he looked back at you and gave you a wink.
Fuck yeah! That’s more like it! You joined Discord at his side as you both stepped into the room, the music becoming more bombastic as you did everything in your power to prevent yourself from humming it. As soon as you and Discord appeared properly in the room, Scootaloo quickly bowed and pulled out both chairs for you both to sit on.
It was so damn cool, you couldn’t help but match your steps with the music as you held your head up high. Discord was going along with it too, he couldn’t resist marching down like Darth Vader. Or maybe he didn’t resist at all, maybe he was just as into it as you were. Either way, so far, you two were in sync. Flam, however, didn’t react the way you wanted as he only looked on with suspicious intrigue. But Flim? He already seemed worried, fidgeting as he tried to crack a small calm smile. Must be trauma.
The music ended perfectly from a shorter rendition of itself as you both began to sit. The moment you and Discord sat down, Discord grabbed his soda glass and splashed it over Flam. It was instant, he didn’t even take the time to drink or even look at it.
“What was that for?! What happened?!” Flam said in surprise as he wiped his face, Flim taking out a napkin to wipe his brother’s mustache.
Discord just looked down at Scootaloo and nodded at her. Scootaloo flinched for a moment, not out of fear, but from a familiar chocolatey taste that suddenly filled her tongue. She realized what she had to do. “What do you mean what happened? You served him soda! Why would you do that?!”
Flim looked back at her, baffled and in dismay. “But you were the one who said soda! How does that make any sense?!”
Scootaloo hesitated for a moment, she hadn’t actually put it together yet. While the brothers were busy with one another, you took a moment to whisper to Scootaloo a quick word about pink clouds and chocolate rain, hoping it’d be enough to get her speaking. It took a half moment more, but thanks to Scootaloo’s determination and your words, she was able to figure something out. “Are you serious?! I said soda because that is, like, the basic drink for these kinds of negotiations. If you were really super savvy business ponies, you would have realized that Lord Discord actually drinks chocolate milk. It doesn’t need to be said, y’know? You just need to have some common sense. He did take over Ponyville once. Didn’t you see all the pink clouds? It was super obvious.”
Flam took a deep breath as he used his magic to straighten his mustache, he was already clearly annoyed. “So does it stand to reason that Di-” But Scootaloo interrupts him immediately.
“Lord Discord.” Scootaloo reminds him.
“Mnnn, Lord Discord expects one of us to get him chocolate milk at this very moment?” Flam asked, being surprisingly patient despite some of his aggravation showing.
Scootaloo looked to Discord, who simply nodded at her. She then looked back at Flam and nodded. “Yes.”
“Very well…” Flam looked at Flim and pointed at the three of you. “Brother, today is a momentous day, is it not? To have Lord Discord and Lord Anon in our presence for this history changing arrangement. Truly it was our fault that we weren’t as prepared as we should have been, correct?”
Flim, not missing a beat, puts on a smile as his attitude becomes more upbeat. “Of course, brother! In fact, why don’t you make sure Lord Discord’s glass of chocolate is made with the finest Saddle Arabian cocoa while I get things going with an explanation of our grand event. We shouldn’t keep things waiting too long, considering how late it already is.”
“Too right, brother, too right!” Flam said as he began to walk out of the room. “We promise, Lord Discord, that this deal will very much be worth your time. Its quality will be as high as the chocolate drink I’ll soon bring you. And trust me, Saddle Arabian chocolate is simply divine. Me and my brother always make sure to guarantee nothing but the best, and I’m sure you and Lord Anon will be aware of that yourselves when it comes time to sign the contract. In any case, if you excuse me…” And then Flam disappeared through the doors, the doors working normally for him, as per Discord's magic.
You simply raised an eyebrow at Flim, trying to keep your words concise and to the point. “This better be worth our time. I have a rather late dinner meeting with Princess Luna I don’t want to miss.”
“Ahrm, yes…” Flim took a moment to compose himself, and then began to speak. “So, the idea is really quite simple. We wish to direct one of you, using your chaos magic, to create a Hearthwarming spectacular. Fireworks that tell the story of Equestria’s past through lights that quite literally act out the events. We want the resort to be temporarily changed to represent the three tribes, and to have it all come together as one during the closing ceremonies. With your magic, we can even simulate the effect of the wendigos during the final moments to really give our audience a chilling feeling before the climax brings warmth across the resort. It is possible to make everything feel authentic, as if they’re really there, with a thrilling conclusion through that fireworks show, it all really hinges on that. Something to outdo the shows and plays back in Canterlot.” Flim reaches into his shirt and pulls out a pamphlet “The exact details are in this pamphlet, which will detail exactly what we need from either you or Lord Discord. The contract itself is simply to make sure everything is official.”
“Huh…” You said boredly as you swirled around your soda glass. “So, uh, on an unrelated note. You know my Deathclaw friend, right?”
“D-deathclaw friend? What does that have to do with the d-deal...?” Suddenly, Flim began to sweat, gulping. “Wait, you don’t mean that thing from Nightmare Night…”
“I do. He asked about you recently.” You said, taking a sip.
“N-now, let’s n-not talk of s-such t-things. Surely he w-was a manifestation of your m-magic, right?” Flim asked, sweat becoming visible through his ‘calm’ façade.
“No…” You said in a nonchalant and monotone way, looking uninterested in the conversation. “I met him deep within the Everfree forest. Good guy, that Deathclaw. He also makes a good accountant, good with numbers and all. But yes, he was wondering about you. He said he wanted to plunge his claws deep into your head for stealing from foals on Nightmare Night.”
“N-now see here! I-It wasn’t s-stealing! A-and even then, we were desperate! I t-think both me and my brother p-proved ourselves legitimate business ponies b-by now! So, please, cease this n-nonsense!” Flim finally broke, his face showing full on terror as he stepped back in fright.
Scootaloo snuck right behind him, and started to bark orders at him. “Hey! Stop backing up! You’re upsetting your guests! You’re supposed to be confident!”
“GYAH! PLEASE! DON’T HURT ME!” Flim, mistaking Scootaloo for the Deathclaw, jumps forward from sheer fright and smacks his head on the table, knocking himself out.
“Geez, I didn’t mean to do that to him.” Scootaloo said as she slowly walked up to him, and gave his face a poke. “I kinda want to laugh, but then I kinda don’t want to.”
“Ha! You should laugh! That was awesome, Scootaloo! Way to follow up on me like that!” Like damn, she literally scared his lights out. It was hilarious, and you were pretty proud of her for it. Like, a little sister sort of thing.
“I have to admit, that was indeed ‘awesome’.” Discord said with a chuckle. “Are you sure you haven’t done this before, Scootaloo?”
Scootaloo blushed in humble embarrassment as she sat and rubbed the back of her head. “Well, er, I mean, we sometimes cause trouble on our own. Not on purpose, but, um. Erm. You really think I did good?” Scootaloo gives him another poke. “Are you sure he’ll be okay?”
“He’ll be fine.” Discord said dismissively as he raised a talon to his mouth. “Now let us be quiet, I think I hear the pitter patter of hooves coming our way.”
“Took him long enough.” You said with an eye roll as you mentally prepped yourself. “Alright, let’s do this.”
“Okay, I got this! Stay serious, Scootaloo, try not to laugh!” Scootaloo said as she slapped her face twice and prepared for Flam’s entrance.
“...Alright, I’m back, and I’m here with the highest quality ch-BROTHER?!” Flam rushed to Flim’s side as he tossed up the glass into the air, Discord able to grab it with ease with his magic as he brought it over to himself. Flam gently raised Flim with his magic, and gave his face a few gentle slaps. “Brother! Wake up! What happened to you?!”
Flim slowly began to wake up in a daze, looking into his brother’s eyes with a ditzy stare “Brother, what even is a Deathclaw?”
“Deathclaw?! Deathclaw…” Flam looked over at you with a furious glare. “Did you do this?!”
You shrugged at him. “No, but if you’re going to look at me like that, we can just walk out of here if you want.”
Flam kept up the stare for a moment more before ultimately relenting. “I… I apologize, Lord Anon.” Flam said as he stood his brother up and gave him a few more gentle slaps to snap him out of his daze. “I can assure you that we do want this deal to commence. S-surely we’ve done enough to finally get down to actual business by now. H-however, if there’s anything else you need, please don’t-” Flam is then interrupted by a splash of chocolate milk on his face. He doesn’t even react, the only indication of frustration was the growl in his voice. “What was wrong with that milk?”
Discord just gave a cool shrug as he spoke. “Nothing, but since we’re about to commence with the negotiations, then young Scootaloo was correct, I need a soda.”
Flam said nothing as he glared at Discord for a moment, Discord only smiling back at him. Flam then bowed, and began to drag Flim along to go retrieve Discord’s soda. Once he left the room, you turned towards Discord, a small grin on your face. “Wow, I’m surprised he didn’t try to tear your beard off with that one.”
“Oh, Anon, those brothers are professionals. Which is why it’s so hilarious that they won’t do anything to us, no matter what we do.” Discord said as he leaned back on his chair, fully sure of himself.
“I dunno, don’t you both find it a little weird they’re not super angry at us? I would be. How important do you think this deal is to them?” Scootaloo asked, suddenly feeling unsure about something, though she couldn’t figure out what.
“Who cares? The only thing we need to worry about is leading them on just enough to make the finale ever so sweet. Prepare yourself, you two, this is only the beginning.” Discord said as he cunningly rubbed his paw and talons together. “The real show is about to begin.”
What was it? Fifteen minutes? Thirty? However long it has been, he’s been drinking that soda for a really really long time. As in, he was nearly shoving it down his throat as the glass’s waterfall of soda never seemed to end. The brothers were just staring, subtle tics in their eyes and limbs suggested their patience was strong but thin, as you could tell they wanted this nonsense to stop. And yet, they haven’t called off the deal, which struck you as odd. So odd that you decided to take and read the brochure yourself to figure out what it was exactly they wanted.
So far, it was pretty much exactly as they said. Although you nor Discord would be credited, or at least weren’t credited within the brochure, their plan was to have a Hearthwarming to blow all other Harthwarmings out of the water. As you read the details of the festivities, you had to wonder what was even in it for you and Discord. What could these idiots possibly offer either of you to get this whole thing off the ground?
However, as you read on, it seems Hearthwarming wasn’t the only thing on the menu. “Coming soon: Nightmare Night, Winter Wrap-up, and.. The fuck?” You whispered to yourself as you looked at the two brothers with venom in your eyes. Something was super amiss, and you already figured out that, for some reason, they planned to 'celebrate' all the holidays. “The Summer Sun Celebration? What’s going on here?! Don’t tell me you two expect us to help you with all of this.”
Discord heard your yelling as he drank, and suddenly, his cheeks puffed up for a moment before he spat his soda so hard into Flam that he was caught in a soda stream that sent him into the wall, a stream that kept going until Discord finally got all the soda out of himself. “What?! Are you serious? Are you both serious? Who do you think we are? We are very important beings with very important business ventures. Why in the wide wide world of Equestria would you advertise the Summer Sun Celebration? That’s such a low grade party for the likes of us, given it can be held in a hick town like Ponyville. In fact, forget convincing us, I’d actually pay to see you try to convince Princess Celestia to be part of this.”
Flim looked to his fallen brother, who just laid against the wall, staring into the abyss as his mustache, clothes, and the rest of his body quickly became sticky from the soda. Flam looked back at Flim, and groaned. “Brother, I’m… A tad occupied with the floor at this moment. Would you care to sell them on this deal on your own?”
Flim tensed at those words, he didn’t know how much more he could take, much less how much his brother could. But whatever they had planned, it was too important to them. It seems the only way they were going to be pushed to the brink was to simply decline on their deal in the most bombastic way possible.
Flim took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. Scootaloo, feeling you all had the advantage right now, walked up to him and shouted “Hey! Are you gonna explain what you want or what? We got other places we need to be! Don’t make me go get that deathclaw guy!”
Flim’s pupils shrank from those words. He began to shake, and yet still he didn’t speak. For the first time, he was having terrible thoughts. Terrible, disgusting thoughts of having the three of you tied to a log, a conveyor belt bringing you all down closer and closer to a set of buzzsaws while he and his brother laughed maniacally. When Flim looked upon you three, you were all just staring at him, silently, with bored expressions. Flim could hear his own heartbeat at this moment. He contemplated how worth it this all was to him.
He then looked to his brother, who was staring at him as he groomed his mustache and squeezed his hat to get the soda out. He tilted his head towards you three, signaling to his brother to say… something.
Flim then looked back at the three of you, to see Discord rolling his paw as an eyebrow raised. Flim looked down at the table, and gently placed his hoof upon it.
Flim was sweating…
Flim’s eyes then locked on you. He was staring at you all of a sudden. You just stared back as you got an odd feeling in your stomach. Did he break? Was he going to jump over the table and strangle you or something?
No, instead Flim suddenly began to steel himself, as if he was enacting some sort of revenge in the only way he knew how. And that way was…
“Sorry, my fine fellows, for my delayed actions, it must have been frightfully boring for all of you. Simply mundane. However, I can promise the both of you that my brother and I have a deal of a lifetime for you. And I can also see you both are quite interested in our long term goals. But then, you must wonder, how can we simple brothers earn your favor? What can we offer to the great lords of chaos? Well…” Flim’s horn glowed as the tarp on the table began to illuminate. With one swift pull, he revealed that the table was actually a glass case with some sort of diorama of a wondrous natural resort within. “Allow us to introduce a brand new animal sanctuary we’ve been planning. And not just any animal sanctuary either. In fact, one can say that this glorious little piece of paradise can be under the wings of a certain yellow pegasus. Indeed, this is what we offer you both, a grand expansion to Fluttershy’s animal sanctuary for the small price of the assistance of either of you.” Flim then pulls out a small piece of parchment from his shirt and uses his magic to bring it in front of Discord. “In fact, as you can see, the contract is quite small. Very simple and to the point, with the penalties looming overhead only enacting if you should be unable to fulfill your part of the deal or if something goes wrong on your end rather than ours. Oh yes, that’s right, should we not profit on our deal through fault of our own, then this little piece of paradise will practically be free of price.”
And at that moment, something in Discord clicked. And it wasn’t good, it was evident by some of the buttons in his suit popping off and other parts becoming a bit more loose. “A new animal sanctuary for Fluttershy, you say?”
“Indeed. Read the contract if you must, there are no lies there.” Flim said, as he slowly began to become more confident while Flam was finishing drying off his suit, looking upon the reaction of Discord as he felt Flim had managed to hook him.
“I will, hold on a second.” You took the parchment and began to read through it quickly and carefully. It was to the point alright, with zero tricky wordplay or shifty double meanings. “Okay, it’s legit so far…” Shit, what the fuck? Did they want your help that badly? As you finished reading the contract, you saw what they planned to pay you both with for help on the other holidays. “Twenty thousand bit investments for every holiday?”
“...Oh yes.” Flam said as he finally rejoined his brother. “A more than fair price, a steal really.”
“That’s practically thirty to sixty percent of the profits in one lump sum, no matter what we profit, you will always have a guaranteed payment.” Flim continued.
Scootaloo was becoming concerned as she looked at the both of you even considering it. “Hey, guys! What are you thinking? You can’t possibly think that’s a good deal, right?”
Mnnngh… Was it a bad deal? You looked at the diorama again, then looked at Discord. Discord hadn’t even bothered signing yet, so there had to be something holding him back. Wait, that’s right, Fluttershy wouldn’t accept this expansion at all. The sanctuary was a place of HER design, catered to the specific needs to the animals she tended for in her fashion. This was, in fact, a bad deal. “It isn’t, Aunt Fluttershy would never accept something like this.”
Discord didn’t even hesitate to speak after you, it seems he remembered as well. “That’s right. What even is this? Are you aware she takes care of all sorts of animals? Lions, tigers, and even bears! Oh my…” Discord began to grin evilly at them. “You almost had me, but such an insult deserves a punishment. Perhaps living as the animals she takes care of for a month should teach you how to make a proper sanctuary befitting Fluttershy to tend at.”
“Not so fast, Lord Discord.” Flam said as he pointed towards you. “Lord Anon, would you please flip the contract.”
Wut?
When you flipped the contract, it was, well, worded nearly the exact same way. Except what was being offered wasn’t the sanctuary, but a two hundred thousand bit investment. ”What in the… What is this?”
Flam looked to his brother and gave him a bow as he pointed towards the both of you. “Brother, you are doing such a good job so far, why don’t you tell them about the alternative offer that is bound to thrill them.”
“You’re too kind, brother.” Flim said, bowing back to his brother as he looked towards the both of you with grand cheer. “We knew that perhaps our designs would not be worthy enough for the great lords of chaos, but we also know that simply creating bits from magic can be quite costly to the economy. That’s why we are prepared to offer a very hefty investment to the sanctuary as is, with the further twenty thousand bits per holiday you assist us with still being on the table. If your aunt would be unapproving of our designs, then we will simply give her the means to make the improvements she’s only dreamed of. We know any improvements through chaos magic could be quite risky, so we hope we might be able to help the sanctuary reach its full potential with our generous investments.”
And with that, Discord’s suit flew off his body as some of his fur began to stand on end. “W-what?”
“That’s right, Lord Discord. You would have the ultimate Hearthwarming gift for the young mare, all, for what must be, a simple snap of your talons. What do you say, do we have a deal?” Flam said, as he pulled a soda-soaked quill from his suit and shook it a few times to dry it before floating it all the way over into Discord’s talons.
Two hundred thousand bits…
From what you understood, that was a ton of money, and that's not including the further investments. The contract was simple enough, with the only real issue being the chaos magic running wild by accident. But to do a fireworks show that would already feel true-to-life? It left a lot of room for success.
Fluttershy would be more than ecstatic to be able to improve the sanctuary in her own way. It really would be the ultimate gift.
Discord was sweating chocolate, looking at the contract as his talons twitched. Seems he felt the same way.
You felt your mind cloud with the potential to make Fluttershy so happy. Were there any consequences? Well, before you can even think about it, Scootaloo began to shout out.
“Stop! You guys can’t sign that! That’s not why we’re here! What are you even thinking?!” Scootaloo then looked at you. She was deeply hurt you’d even consider it. “Anon! Think about it! Remember when you talked about that other timeline?! Wouldn’t it be the same thing? Hearthwarming is important! And they just want to own it! They want to take it from everypony! Why? Why would you even think this is okay?!”
Flim looked upon Scootaloo with a smirk. “Excuse me, young filly, but aren’t you only the mediator?”
Scootaloo gulped, huddling a bit backwards as she looked back at Flim. “Y-yes…”
“Then we ask you kindly to only mediate, you’re not part of this deal.” Flam said as he looked upon Discord. “Lord Discord, you seem ready to sign. Please, if you wish, enjoy the resort at our behest with your son after the deal is done. Our treat.”
Owning Hearthwarming…
That’s right, dammit! Was that their intention? They obviously weren’t thinking about the consequences of commercializing Hearthwarming, much less the other holidays in Equestria. It would be like that Jim Carrey Grinch movie, before the ending, when all the whos were selfish assholes, where Christmas was just a commercial hellhole. Or maybe it wouldn’t become that, because there’s no way Celestia would agree to it, or at least not at first. Would they even be able to uphold the penalties, should you and Discord flake out?
No, it doesn’t matter, no outcome mattered. Scootaloo was right. The whole point of this was to screw with them, signing the contract would only bring disaster and compromise not only the prank, but your integrity. “She’s right. Dad, let’s ju-DAD!”
Discord was about to bring his talons down to sign the contract. No! NO! You didn’t know how to stop him, because he wasn’t going to listen. THINK, ANON, THINK!
You did the only thing you could think of, and jumped out of your seat and bit down on his writing arm.
Discord stopped for a moment and lifted his arm as you dangled on it, growling, hanging like a fish. “Hm, it seems my son may have an issue with the signing.”
“I can see that. But does that matter? We only really need one of you.” Flim said.
“Yes, I know… But I better see what has him so upset.” Discord said as he stood up, you were still biting onto his arm, as he began to walk back through the double doors. He then raised his paw, twirling a claw as Scootaloo suddenly flew up and backwards towards them behind the doors as they closed.
Once you three were safe within the void, Discord carefully plucked you by the tail and placed you down. He gave you a very bored stare as you stared angrily back at him. He then placed his talons on his forehead and began to rub with a huff of annoyance. “Alright, what seems to be the problem now?”
“I dunno, the fact you were about to sign that contract? The thing we came here NOT to do!” You shouted at him. “Like, geez, are you serious? Just because they were going to give money to Aunt Fluttershy doesn’t mean it’s a good idea!”
“Yeah, Discord! What the heck!? Can’t you see what they’re planning? Hearthwarming doesn’t belong to them! They’re totally planning to make Hearthwarming into some soulless holiday… thing. You know, for money instead of sharing and stuff!” Scootaloo shouted.
Discord shrugged “And? You both have to admit that it is an insanely good deal. And besides, you act like they’re going to get away with it.”
“What? Wait, so are we just going to sign and then mess with them? Dad, we can’t do that. I mean, we can, but we’re signing a contract here. I don’t know how the bureaucracy really works in Equestria, but if it’s anything like dealing with Neighsay, I’d rather not.” You explain to him. He wanted his cake and to be able to eat it as well, and it was something you felt was not worth dealing with, especially with penalties involved.
“And you won’t. I’ll sign the contract, do the deeds, and Twilight will handle the busywork. If you think our dear princess isn’t going to nose around in their business and put a stop to all of it, then you’re crazier than I am. I sign the contract, I put on one show, Fluttershy gets her gift, Twilight stops it. We don’t really need to do the other holidays, Fluttershy will be more than happy with the two hundred thousand.” Discord explained, with great confidence in his voice. “I really don’t see the problem here, Anon. And I really do mean that, I fail to see any negatives at all. Anon, this is actually something that can help Fluttershy. If anything, we’re scamming them! I’m aware this is supposed to be a prank, trust me, I’m very aware.” Discord then opens his chest like a door to reveal a beating heart. “But this decision comes from deep inside. See? It’s bigger than it usually is, that has to account for something.”
Mnnngh…
You couldn’t really chastise Discord for wanting to do this. How could you? He was thinking of Fluttershy’s well-being, he wanted her to be happy. He obviously deeply thought about the repercussions of his actions… Which is why he figured Twilight would deal with it. Still, Scootaloo had a point as well, and there was still a contract to deal with. It wasn’t a magical contract, but it was still legally binding and you had to wonder how the contract could be broken without causing an issue. But the fact those brothers were so damn adamant on getting the contract signed was alarming. There had to be something up their sleeves you weren’t considering, and that, sadly for Discord, made you consider not signing. “Dad… Look, I know. Trust me, I know. I want to make Aunt Fluttershy happy too. And, yeah, I know something like this would make her really happy. But there are other ways to get the funding, right? I mean, Miss Rarity could set up a fundraiser that would be more than enough for Aunt Fluttershy’s standards. I mean, what if we agree, and then Twilight can’t do anything about it? What if we screw up? It can’t be that easy.”
“Says you. MY power is absolute. The decision is easy, the job is easy, and within twenty two minutes or so of Twilight finding out, she would have an easy time putting a stop to it while we make out like bandits. As they said, you don’t have to sign, but I will. They’re the chumps, Anon, not us.” Discord said, as he gave you a stern, fatherly stare.
“But what if we’re the chumps? Dad, they managed to keep their cool the entire time. There’s something wrong here. The contract didn’t even say what the penalties were, just that there would be penalties.” You explain.
“Hey, yeah! That is weird! Wouldn’t that mean that, technically, they could do whatever they want? Wait…” Scootaloo suddenly felt a huge bit of dread when she imagined a very wretched conclusion. “What if that’s the plan? What if the idea was to get you guys to sign, and then wait for something to go wrong?”
Discord scoffed at those words. “And then what? Who cares if the penalties aren’t stated? I am Discord, the spirit of chaos! There’s nothing they can do to me! And before you say it, they won’t do anything to Fluttershy either. Not unless they want their resort to take on a new oceanic theme.”
“But the penalties can be anything, Discord! It’s a trick! Discord, these guys are bad news.” Scootaloo was trying to plead with him, trying to convince him to stop.
“And that ‘anything’ means ‘nothing’ to me. I knew I shouldn’t have brought you along. I can’t even remember why I did, of course a good little filly like you wouldn’t understand the nuances of a tricky deal.” Discord said, crossing his arms as he snorted his nose towards her, looking down at her like she was nothing.
“W-what? You invited me to help you with a prank! A prank on two ponies who deserve it! On two ponies who tried to ruin Nightmare Night because they were selfish! Same with trying to take over Sweet Apple Acres. And if they had it their way, take over Equestria!” Scootaloo started to tear up. She took Discord’s words harder than even she was expecting, his patronizing gaze worsening the situation. “T-there wasn't even supposed to be a deal.”
“And now there is. A deal, as they said, you’re not a part of. So why don’t you stay here while I do something good for a change and help out a friend, as a friend should.” Discord said as he looked over at you, wagging a talon at you. “And I don’t want to hear anything out of you. You’re worrying over nothing, and quite frankly, I’m flabbergasted by your selfishness.”
Dammit, he was being an asshole. Even worse, he was being an asshole towards Scootaloo. But, fuck, how could you counter his argument? How could you stop him? It wasn’t like you could guilt him out of it, he’d feel guilty not taking the deal because it’d be ‘screwing over’ Fluttershy. He didn’t care about the outcome because he was so sure Twilight would intervene, which truthfully, she probably would. But those penalties, Scootaloo’s right, they’d practically own him if something went wrong. Maybe that wasn’t even the plan, as it’d still be a hit to their reputation. But either way, it just seems like they’d benefit much more than anyone else would.
Scootaloo, however, just hung her head low, she was crying lowly. She was clearly upset. “Fine, then go ahead. But, Discord, you’re nothing but a fraud.”
“Yes, I will… Excuse me?” Discord stopped, and looked at Scootaloo, rather confused. “Fraud? How am I a fraud?”
“Because, you don’t really care about your friends. You probably don’t even care about Anon, really. All you care about is Fluttershy, and looking good in front of her. I actually thought that maybe, just maybe, Four was somewhere still in you. But I was wrong…” Scootaloo looked into Discord’s eyes with disgust and anger as she pointed towards him. “You’re really just One!”
“Well, yes, I am number one.” Discord said with a smirk, standing proudly at the ‘compliment’.
“No! I mean you’re that One guy! The guy that was super obsessed with Starlight! The guy that almost destroyed Anon! You’re that guy!” Scootaloo’s wings flittered with rage as she stomped over towards Discord. “You’re selfish and mean, that’s who you really are! You never cared about me! At all! If the contract had a part in it where I’d be sold off somewhere, you’d still sign it!”
“W-well, I wouldn’t go that f-” But Discord was interrupted by a very upset Scootaloo, who was near-hovering at this point in furious anger.
“Shut up! Don’t lie! Stop lying! I really thought you were the spirit of chaos! I really thought we were a team! That we were actually friends. I dunno, I thought maybe Four was still…” Scootaloo stopped, and started to sniffle miserably. “No, you know what? It’s… It’s.. C-c-” She was having trouble saying her next word, it was a word she herself never expected to say. But just like with a few others who have been near you, it was only inevitable. “Crap! It’s all crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! I thought chaos was fun, and that we were using it for good. But I can see now that it can be bought! You’re nothing but a sellout, Discord! You’re literally going to help destroy all the holidays, and what they mean, just because it’s the easiest and laziest way to make Fluttershy happy! Well, you know what?! I don’t want to be here anymore! You’re not my friend anymore! You’re crap! You’re a sellout! A fraud! So… Goodbye, One!” And with that, Scootaloo turned around and wiped her eyes before roughly getting out of the suit Discord had given her. She then gave you one tearful look, and walked off into the darkness.
Discord just stared at her as she walked away. He raised a talon as if he wanted to stop her, but he did nothing. He then looked towards you, and yet he still said nothing.
“Don’t look at me, she kinda has a point. I want to make Fluttershy happy too, Discord. But not like this. I’ve already learned my lesson on taking the easy way out. I can’t completely fault you either. This is entirely your decision, and if you want to help Fluttershy, then fine. But, damn, she’s not wrong. You’d really be a sellout.” You explain to him. "I dunno, I'm done trying, you clearly aren't going to listen to me."
Discord still said nothing, but it looked like he understood. He bent down, and picked up Scootaloo’s tiny suit with his paw and stared at it silently. Maybe if you tried approaching the situation from a different direction, he'd be more willing to listen.
“Feel bad? I mean, you kinda should. We didn’t do what we came here to do, and Scootaloo is just a filly, of course the idea of Wendigos destroying Equestria is gonna scare her. And to be honest, considering how important harmony actually is, she’s right. You could have handled the situation a lot better. Heck, if you tried not being an ass, you probably could have found a way to convince her that signing the contract would have been a good thing, maybe. But you just keep losing your cool and being shitty whenever someone questions you” You say.
“But wasn’t my explanation good enough?” Discord asked as he gripped the suit.
“Not for her.” You say, letting out a sigh. “She’s pretty pissed.”
“And what about you? What do you think?” Discord asked as he looked over at you.
He was having one of his guilt moments for sure. At a time like this, you really couldn’t be mad at him, as he’s always so lost with himself in situations like this. And again, his intentions weren’t bad this time. It’s just his clairvoyance on the subject was lacking. “You really want to know?”
“Just tell me. You don’t seem to be as angry with me as she is.” Discord said.
“Like I said, I can’t really fault you for wanting to sign the contract. You mainly want to help Fluttershy, which is a good thing. But, dude, come on, Scootaloo is an emotional filly, and let’s face it, she’s not even the original Scootaloo anymore. She actually likes the idea of chaos, likes partnering with me, and really liked that clone of you. She was hoping you’d be more like Four, and you just crushed her feelings so hard that she fucking used a word I’d use. I mean, I found it weird you even invited her, and then I realized you meant it about the whole memory thing when it came to those clones. You probably even picked up this nasty gambling habit you got from one of them, because let’s face it, relying on Twilight is still a gamble.” You sighed, and looked towards the doors. “There’s gonna be consequences if you do this, Discord. But it is ultimately up to you whether you sign that contract or not.”
Discord went silent as he stared into the void instead. “I regret asking, I didn’t realize you suddenly became an insightful seer.” Discord then put a paw to his face and shook his head. “How miserable, I can’t believe I let myself fall for such sweet words from those two. To think, I, Discord, selling out to the corporations. Selling my magic like it was one of Applejack’s halfway decent but still terrible apples. Scootaloo…” Discord sighed and turned towards you. “You do understand how hard I tried to get rid of those feelings, don’t you?”
“And yet you gave in, because a part of you came to like Scootaloo. At least this Scootaloo, who is willing to cause a little chaos. How does it feel to care about someone from a completely different angle, even if it is by proxy?” You asked.
Discord stood there as his mouth began to quiver and his eyes began to leak ice cubes. He then fell on his knees and began to cry. “It feels terrible! I feel terrible! I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, I was actually quite ecstatic that she wanted to come along. Do you understand how good it feels to know there are ponies out there that like my brand of chaos? Even if it is a filly? I wanted us to crush them together. I wanted us to have a good laugh. I wanted to have as good a time as I have with Spike and Big Mac when we play Ogres and Oubliettes. Argh, curses! It hurts!” Discord opened his chest once more, and saw his heart had burst into flame. He closed it, and began to weep on the floor. “Scootaloo! I apologize! I’m so sorry for what I’ve done! I’m the fool! I am One! I’m the ‘Crap’!” Discord continued to bawl on the floor, whining. “I ruined everything, I ruined what chaos meant. I don’t deserve my glorious title anymore! Scootaloo, you are better than I, and I… I really am so so sorry.”
“I-I don’t think you deserve to lose your title.” Said a voice.
“Hm?” Discord’s eye literally peeked out like a snake, looking up to see Scootaloo, who had returned, and presumably may have heard his cries. “S-Scootaloo?”
“Y-yeah…” Scootaloo said, shaky, teary eyed herself. “D-did you really mean that stuff? Were you really happy I came along?”
Discord’s eye snaked back into his head as he slowly began to stand. He wiped off the frozen tears from his face and sighed. “Well, yes. I thought doing this as a trio, with somepony like you to play mediator, would have come to a head as the perfect prank. Unfortunately, it seems Anon fouled things up, as usual, by not convincing me fast enough to not sign the contract. W-which I haven’t done, I just almost did.”
You didn’t even say a word, you just rolled your eyes at Discord and rolled your hooves towards him as a signal to stop being a jackass and just say what he needs to say.
“Hrm, and, well… Wait, you didn’t just pretend to walk off, did you?” Discord asked.
Scootaloo shook her head. “No, I just kinda ended up back here, I couldn’t find the exit. But I did kinda hear everything.”
“Oh… I see.” Discord said as he tapped his paws and talons together nervously. “Well, while I did mean what I said, I’d ask if you would not repeat it to your crusader friends. I’d rather them not think I’m going soft or anything of the sort.” Discord said.
“Don’t worry, I won’t. But, Discord? Look, I’m sorry too.” Scootaloo said, rubbing the back of her head nervously.
“You are? Whatever for?” Discord asked, confused.
“Because, I guess I didn't realize how much you love Fluttershy, that’s all.” Scootaloo said.
“Love?!” Discord went frantic as he jumped back in surprise. “Love?! I don’t love her! Who said I loved her? Anon, you didn’t say that, did you?! Haven’t I threatened you about that before?”
You sighed and looked at Scootaloo with a grin. “Scootaloo, they’re just friends, okay?” You say with a wink.
“Ooooooh, okay.” She says, winking back. But then she looks at Discord once again, and walked towards him, and hugs his leg. “Look, Discord, I’m sorry, and you’re sorry. We’re both sorry. Let’s just forget this happened, okay? Let’s just be friends.”
“Friends…” Discord sighed, then gave her a gentle smile as he gave her a pat. “Sure, why not. And not to sound like One, but I’m sure Fluttershy would be happy to know I’ve officially made a new friend.” But then Discord looked back at the doors and narrowed his eyes. “But forget about them? No, no, I don’t think we’ll be doing that. We came here to accomplish something, and by Tartarus, we will do it.” Discord looked towards you, and pointed with a fierce stare on his face. “Anon, idea!”
“Gyah?! Um, actually… I got nothing. I mean, we could just… I dunno, just summon something?” Dammit, you weren’t ready for an on-the-spot decision.
“Useless! Come on, Discord, surely you have something!” Discord said to himself as he entered deep thought. “Come on! You let them get so close! There has to be something you can do to turn this around. Something clever. Something that can blow that deal out of the water.”
“Wait…” Scootaloo, however, looked up at Discord and suddenly began to tug at his leg. “Did you say 'to turn this around'?”
“Yes. But the question is how? I was thinking of perhaps making them sign a contract, but then they really have no reason to do it. Argh! I let them get too close! I lost momentum! And-” But before Discord could ramble on, Scootaloo suddenly shouted an idea.
“What if we keep going?” Scootaloo asked, loud enough to break Discord’s train of thought.
Wut? “...Keep going?”
“Yes, I’m confused as well. Do you mean with the contract? I thought we weren’t doing that.” Discord said, as confused as you were.
“Yeah, well, the thing is, they already think you’re gonna do it. So what if we were going to? What if you got so close to signing, and then, I dunno, you decided that maybe your magic doesn’t meet up to their standards? You know, not good enough for them. Or maybe...” Scootaloo said.
Discord actually felt insulted by that. “Excuse me? Didn’t we just have an apology session? What do you mean not good enough? My magic is always good enough.”
“I know, I know! But, y’know, they don’t know that. But if that's a problem, then, what if we showed them how good it is instead?” Scootaloo asked before turning to look at you. “Do you get what I mean?”
Get what she means?
…
…
Oh, holy shit.
“Scootaloo, holy… That’s actually amazing!” Holy shit, you got what she wanted to do.
“What’s amazing? Does somepony want to clue me in as to what that ‘amazing’ is?” Discord asked, still confused about it.
“Dude, Dad, she’s saying to give them a taste of the Hearthwarming story. Get it?” Come on, come on!
Discord began to stroke his beard for a moment as he gave it some thought. Then you saw it, a slow but evil grin growing on his maw. “Well, well, that is quite genius indeed.” Discord then looked down at Scootaloo with a softer smile. “And to think, you were the one who thought of it. Looks like I’m going to have to adopt you as well.”
“Erm… Discord? I got aunts… and my mom and dad, and stuff? But, uh, I really appreciate the thought.” Scootaloo said with a genuine yet awkward grin.
“Hm… A shame. Ah well.” Discord said with a shrug as he cocked his talons and paws like a gun. “Get ready for showtime, my little chaos ponies. We have to make sure we get those five star reviews.”
The doors opened once more, the brothers staring, waiting, as Discord steps through, holding a rope with you and Scootaloo bound and gagged at the end of them like bags. Discord just tossed you both to the side as you both squirmed and whined like worms. Discord sat down and gestured towards the brothers. “My apologies, these two had the inane and insane notion that this was a bad deal.” Discord scoffed and pointed over at them. “As you can see, I had to deal with them myself to make sure there are no more delays.”
Flim stared at you for a moment, he seemed to have some satisfaction in seeing you in that state. “I see, and if you don’t mind me saying so, I always believed your son always spoke all sorts of silly dribble.”
Flam, genuinely shocked with Flim’s attitude, cooly and calmly tries to correct his brother. “H-however, he is still his son, brother. A bit of respect, remember, he is still but a colt.” Flam suddenly seemed to become more reluctant all of a sudden, or perhaps seeing you both tied up like that seemed to tug at some sort of heart string. And yet he said nothing more, obviously not wanting to piss off Discord.
“Yes, I apologize, I misspoke. In any case, Lord Discord, do we have a deal? Not to push, but we have been rather patient, I think.” Flim said.
“Of course we have a deal.” Discord said with a grin as he took the quill and span it along his talons and placed it down on the parchment. “How could I resist such a generous offer.” And upon saying that, Discord just kept his talons there, unmoving.
Flim’s right eye began to twitch, as he seemed to be expecting something to go wrong once again. “Is something wrong, Lord Discord?”
“Not particularly, but I do have to admit, my son’s concerns on these vague penalties are troublesome. It almost makes me feel as if, somehow, my magic won’t be up to the standard of quality you two are expecting.” Discord said as he slowly looked up at them.
“We can certainly assure you that anything from the great Lord Discord will be more than enough.” Flam said, hoping to encourage him to sign.
“Yes, but there is still that chance, no? No, instead, I think a showcase of what I can do is in order. How about I show you two a grand preview of my work.” Discord said as he glared at them, pointing upward as the ceiling of the room began to melt into a clear starry night sky.
Flim and Flam stared upwards for a moment, and began to not only become enthusiastic about the idea, but even encouraged it. Flim looked to Discord and bowed towards him. “We would be honored for such a fatantabulous show, I’m sure what we’re about to see will not only be to our standard, but the Equestrian standard for all.”
“That’s right! Though, we still must ask to be allowed to make some alterations. I don’t mean to offend, but we do have to make sure the show caters to our adoring patrons.” Flam added.
“Oh, of course, of course! What say you, my duo of distractions?” Discord asked as he looked at the two of you, the both of you only able to bounce and mumble. “That’s what I thought. Now then, please, you two, stare upwards into the sky while I work my magic.”
The brothers nodded, and continued to stare into the sky. Slowly, the sky suddenly began to swirl with clouds, becoming colder, as snow began to lightly drop into the vault chamber. The brothers continued to stare until a snowflake landed on Flim’s nose, which seemed to prompt him that something was wrong. “Lord Discord, you might want to move those clouds away, how are we… And he’s gone.” Flim said as he looked back down, seeing that all three of you were gone.
“Brother? Gone?” Flam asked as he slowly looked forward as well, shocked to see they were gone. “Gazooks, they are gone!”
“I should have known.” Flim said, smacking his hoof on the glass case with a growl. “All that work, the formalities of making sure we call them 'lord' as we refer to ourselves as brothers at all times, the constant mocking from that little upstart! Flam, my mustached partner, I told you this would not work! Look, he even left us without a roof!”
“Now, Flim, calm yourself. I had a contingency plan for such a thing. That Good News mentioned that Discord would do anything Fluttershy said, correct? It’s obvious that Discord was enticed until something, just something, his son said prompted him to fool us. So what if we pitch our offer to her instead? We’ll make the penalties clear and minor, and she’ll make sure Discord uses his magic to make the most amazing shows in Equestria! All we need to do is be completely honest and lay all our cards on the table and we should still have a shot at this.” Flam explained to him, trying to calm his brother down.
“Were we not honest enough? It isn’t like we were trying to entrap him. That contract was simple enough to get us what we want by giving him what he wanted. All that humiliation, for nothing!” Flim said, looking up at the dark clouds. “He is going to at least get us a new roof! I won’t stand for this!”
“Relax, Flim, relax. Things will be fine! I’m sure telling Fluttershy what he has done to us will win us a few sympathy points. The plan is still on and…” Flam looks backward to see that the vault was open and empty. “OUR VAULT IS EMPTY?! FLIM! WE’VE BEEN ROBBED!”
“That thief!” Flim said as he rushed towards the open vault. “I swear, if he took everything, then we will take this to the highUMPOMF!” When Flim jumped up into the vault, he slipped upon the suddenly frozen floor of the cold and desolate vault.
“Flim, are you alright?!” asked Flam, as he worriedly looked beyond the vault’s threshold to see his fallen brother, no bits in sight.
“N-no…” Flim said as he slowly stood up, slipped, then crawled along the icy floor like a worm until he was able to crawl out through the vault’s threshold. “Confound it all, now he’s just toying with us! He thinks he can do whatever he wants, but nopony is above Princess Celestia! Come, Flam, let us write a letter to her and…” The cold draft from the open ceiling finally began to take its toll as Flim and Flam felt a sudden chill in their bones. “...Let us bundle up to protect ourselves from this terribly chilling cold.”
“Agreed. This night air is too frightfully chilly, which means if he causes any discomfort to our guests, that simply means more compen-sa-tion?” When Flam stepped into the office through the double doors first, he was left speechless and astonished by what he saw.
“Flam? Whatever is the-'' But Flim too was left speechless upon entering the office. The place had been ransacked. Desks were destroyed, paintings slashed, walls broken, frozen over, or crumbling. Even more eerie were painted messages such as ‘The end has come!’ and ‘The wendigos are upon us!’.
“Flim? I’d say we were robbed, but this doesn’t seem like a robbery. These messages, this destruction. Something is amiss…” Flam said as he reluctantly began to pull open some cabinets, searching for anything that may be inside, as most were empty.
“Flam, this is just a trick, just like that blasted Deathclaw! He’s merely trying to scare us.” Flim said as he opened a dresser to find some coats, though that too was empty.
“Perhaps, but from my understanding, that Draconequus is more into jovial mischief than… Whatever this seems to be.” Flam said, still searching, until finally, he comes upon something. “Hm? What’s this? Flim, come over here, I found something.”
“What is it?” Flim said as he came near, before getting annoyed, waving his hoof in dismissal. “The brochure? Flam, that is hardly important.” But something was wrong, when Flim noticed Flam unmoving, he reluctantly called to his brother again, with worry in his tone. “Flam? Brother dearest? Is something the matter?”
“Flim…” Flam held the brochure up, pointing at it. “This is an advertisement for the tenth anniversary of our Hearthwarming celebration.”
“What?” Flim asked, utterly confused as he magically snatched the brochure and took a look at it himself. He began to read through it, and as he did, he began to become pale with dread as he looked at the messages on the wall again. ”Flam… Is there a reason why this states our past nine celebrations? Celebrations we never celebrated before?”
“I don’t know, Flim. I-I…” Flam went silent for a moment, heading towards the exit of the office as he brought his ear to the door. “Flim, do you hear that?”
“No. What is it?” Flim asked.
“Nothing… And that’s the problem. Where are the cheers of our patrons? The thrilling sounds of our rides? The ding dongs of our games?” Flam asked as he shakily put his hoof on the handle of the door.
“F-flam, wait! W-wait!” Flim shouted as he pulled his brother’s leg from the door. “It could be a trick! I-it has to be. W-we can’t possibly be in the future! It isn’t possible!”
Flam gulped hard as he looked at his brother with terrified eyes, it seemed Flim had already figured out what he was thinking. “Flim, do you remember what we learned of our alternate selves? That other timeline?”
Flim began to become more frantic, shaking his head. “Don’t say it, Flam! Don’t say it!”
“N-no, you’re right! That’s impossible. Time travel is a myth. Hogwash, really. We are going to open this door and nothing will be wrong.” Flam said as he hesitantly put his hoof on the door, and froze. “N-nothing.”
“Flam…” Flim could say nothing else, afraid of what the outcome could possibly be.
Flam looked towards him, and tried to gather his confidence. With a deep breath, he opened the door. However, what they expected was beyond all expectations. The main lobby was in shambles, covered in snow, doors unhinged, most of the attractions and shops boarded up, and snow just eerily dropping in from some clouds above as some of the clouds that made up some of the lobby remained a near solid black. “Flim?”
“Flam. This… This isn’t real, right? This is simply impossible!” Flim said as he stepped past the threshold of the office and took a closer look. All the plants in the lobby were either frozen or dead, there was no sign of life anywhere, and torn or worn posters of the Hearthwarming celebration painted the walls. “What is this?! Tenth celebration?! We never had one!” Flim shouted out as he began tearing the posters from the wall, only to trip on something during his manic episode.
“Flim! Calm down! There is noAAAAAAAAHHH!” Flam suddenly fell backwards in fright when he saw what his brother had tripped on.
“Flam?! Flam, wAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Flim, jumping back up from fright, witnessed a great horror. A skeleton! A pony skeleton! He had tripped on a long gone pony! He hugged onto his brother for comfort as he stared at it in horror. “Flam! Flam! Do you see what I see?!”
“I do! And I don’t want to! Quick, we must make great haste to the exit!” Flam, along with Flim, ran towards the entrance to the resort. However, when they reached the doors and opened them, there was nothing but a hall of skeletons awaiting them, with the exit blocked off by a giant wall of ice. “GYAAAH!” The brothers screamed as they slammed the doors, looked at the receptionist booth, and saw a skeleton hanging from the desk, causing yet another scream of fright as they ran blindly into the fun park part of the resort.
Tripping over each other, they fell over on yet another skeleton, rolling onto the floor with each other until they crashed onto a fallen roller coaster car that had crashed onto the ground at one point. Flim and Flam hid under it, and began to look around. There was nothing but more skeletons, rides in heavy disrepair or just fallen apart. Flim began to shake, still in a panic. “It’s all gone, Flam! Everypony is gone!”
“G-get a hold of yourself, Flim! I-It’s a trick! I-it has to be!” Flam yelled out, unable to believe his own words as he shook alongside his brother.
“How is this a trick?! What sick, twisted individual would do this?” Flim yelled out.
“You two did.” Said a voice.
“W-who said that?!” The brothers cried out together, looking forward, seeing a cloaked figure in front of them. They then slowly looked up, to see a familiar pony standing before them. Or at least, was familiar ten years ago.
“A-Anon?” Flim and Flam said together.
Flim, seeing you, filled him with rage. He knew it! He felt it, anyway. He pulled himself from the fallen over car and looked at you with fury. “I should have known! What have you done?! Where is your father?! You both are in big trouble!”
You just stared at him. You had grown, you were older than before, you only nearly stood at the same ground he did, rather than be so small like before. “What are you talking about? My father was here the whole time, doing that crappy celebration you both have done for the past ten years! There’s nopony left!” You said, yelling at him with tears in his eyes. “Everypony is gone! My aunt is gone! I need to find him, he’s the only one who can fix things now!”
“Y-you’re kidding, right? That can’t be right! I only saw you a few minutes ago! And you were… smaller.” Flim said, having trouble gulping from the terror rebuilding itself upon him.
You slowly shook your head. “The fuck are you talking about!? You idiots, are you fucking with me?! This is your fault, both your faults! I can't even stop this myself with my horn, I can’t use it for some reason. Getting past that ice wall was already hard enough. You both are so oblivious. You killed harmony! You turned Hearthwarming into some sort of NGHYAAAAAH!” You screamed out in pain. In less than an instant, a caramel-colored wendigo with a purple mane passed through you, freezing you in place as a body of ice. The wendigo then stared at Flim and Flam with menacing eyes.
Flim didn’t even notice it, he was frozen in terror from watching you turn into ice, just like that, with no way to avoid it. “A-Anon? Anon? I-I’m done now, I know this is a t-” When Flim slowly reached over and taps you, you shatter into pieces, causing him to turn white as his eyes meet that with the wendigo’s.
“Flim!” Flam called out, grabbing at the collar of his brother’s shirt and running in a random direction. “W-we need to escape! The wendigos! They’re real! W-we need to find Discord! We need to… Oh no…” Flam had pulled Flim into the arcade, and despite having been more steeled than his brother, the sight before him was simply too much.
The arcade was a frozen horror show of what once was. Frozen families, fillies, colts, still at play, turned to ice sculptures before they realized what had even happened. The brothers could only stare, in shock and horror, a terrible feeling starting to settle within them.
“F-flam, these sculptures. They were... They were alive once, weren't they? It's almost... It is almost as if they didn't realize what happened. They didn’t even know about the wendigos.” Flim said in a shocked whisper.
“Completely unaware…” Flam said silently, as a tear began to descend from his eyes, freezing before reaching the ground. “But how? All of this, at the blink of an eye.”
Flim was silent, deep in thought, deep in horror, his eyes shook with a deep horror from a terrible revelation. “Discord said he’d give us a preview. Flam, y-you don’t suppose he really sent us into…”
“The future? I already said that's impossible! Oh... Oh Celestia." Flam was starting to grow terrified of the absolute truth. "Oh no, no, no, he didn’t! Flim, do you know what this means?! He must have sent us here to see a wonderful celebration, but he must have not realized the horror… The horror we wrought. Flim, how could we?! We didn’t want this to happen! We didn’t! We just wanted to make bits! Do you hear me?! This wasn’t anything more than a business venture!” Flam shouted out, as if he was trying to convince the world of their intention.
But that shout was too loud, it seemed, as all the ice statues in the arcade began to shatter. The brothers screamed from the sculptures of foals shattering, and ran back out through the food court, where more skeletons sat around on the seats. Decorations either were torn up, barely hanging, or were strewn all over the floor. “No! No! It isn’t our fault!” The brothers cried out as they hid behind a nearby fountain.
“Flim… What do we do now? It is only a matter of time before that wendigo finds us.” Flim whispered.
“I don’t know, I-I don’t know. Our only hope lies with Discord. He had to have been here, correct? Then all we have to do is try to find him.” Flam whispered back.
“But where? Where can he be? “ Flim asked, as he began to look around.
“P-perhaps… Perhaps he’d be where we’d place the Hearthwarming tree. Yes, he has to be there. All we have to do is think of where’d we place it for the celebration.” Flam surmised, as he kept a look out for the wendigo.
“Wouldn’t that be out in the lobby? I didn’t see it there. What if we never put one up? What if it isn’t anywhere? What if… What if we deserve this?” Flim asked.
“Don’t talk like that, Flim! W-we can still fix this!” Flam said, getting louder and guilt ridden in his speech.
“How?! We caused this! We ended Equestria! Just like our alternate selves! Those foals were right! We should have never tried to turn the holidays into some business venture! Especially since we were so good at it! We did this! You heard Anon, we’re the ones who caused this!“ Flim shouted, his guilt turned into frustration.
Flam said nothing, he began to grab at his head, screaming, scared out of his mind. “Graaagh! Flim! I don’t know what to do! How can we even reason with a wendigo!? No! No! We did, we did cause this! Oh, brother of mine, how could we be so short sighted?! Those foals, those poor foals! We… We have to fix this! We need to find him, no matter the cost!”
“R-right, but, Flam, where? Where can he be? It isn’t like he’s going to fall out of the-AGH!” Flim shouts as a giant tree falls from the sky, along with a rather large figure, shattering on impact. When a part of it rolled over towards the brothers, utter hopelessness came upon them. “Is that…”
Flam grabbed onto his brother, shouting in horror. “It’s his head! It’s his head! We’re doomed! Doomed!” Flam shouted out as he quickly kicked the frozen head of Discord away, looking at the shattered tree that fell. It quickly clicked a thought in his mind, and he slowly looked up to see the wendigo, joined with another, swirling above them. “F-Flim… I think they heard us.”
“W-what do we do?” Flim asked, staring up, frozen in fear.
Flam said nothing, he saw the wendigos staring at the both of them, and he knew they were done. One was the caramel one from earlier, the other vaguely looked like you, in a sense. To Flam, however, he knew he and his brother were done. Finally, he looked to his brother, as the wendigos began to spin around them, slowly causing them to freeze. “Flim, perhaps for only a few, not all, but a few of our business deals, we had done terrible wrongs. Nonetheless, It has been an honor working alongside one as classy and sensible as you.”
“Flam?” Flim began to panic as he saw his brother freezing up faster than himself. “Flam! No, don’t leave me! No!” But before he could say anything else, Flam completely froze, leaving him alone, as he was unable to move due to his own body slowly being crept upon by freezing ice. “Flam! I’m so sorry! Equestria! I’m sorry! I’m actually sorry! Please! No! Let my brother go! Please! No more double deals! No more fine print! No more careful wording! We didn’t mean to cause this! Please!” But the wendigos ignored his begging as everything but his head had become frozen. “Flam! I’m scared! Flam… I swear, please, I’ll change! We’ll change! We promise! WE PROMISE!” Flim screamed as he closed his eyes.
“Whatever are you yelling about?” a voice asked.
“W-what?!” Flim opened his eyes, seeing he was hugging onto an equally frightened and unfrozen Flam. “What?! Flam?! FLAM!” Flim hugged onto him tightly with affection. “You’re alright!”
“As are you! Flim, what happened?! Where are we?!” Flam asked, crying into his brother’s legs.
“We’re… We’re back at the vault chamber, and… Discord?!” Flim was astonished, everything had returned to what it once was, with both you and Scootaloo still on the ground, tied, groaning and shaking like worms. “D-Discord?”
“What in the name of Celestia happened?! All those ponies, all that pain… Those wendigos! Anon! We destroyed Equestria! What… What happened?!” Flam asked, utterly confused as to what happened.
“You what now? Oh, you must mean ‘destroying Equestria’ as some new-age lingo sort of thing. As in destroying all expectations, correct?” Discord asked as he twirled the quill. “Whatever you saw, it must have been amazing. Then again, given it is MY work, then there is no doubt about that at all. Now then…” Discord placed the quill on the contract “Since you both seem more than thrilled, I am ready to sign.”
“No!” The brothers screamed in fright as they pulled away the contract and tore it to the tiniest of pieces with a mixture of their magic.
“W-what?” Discord said, astonished by their reaction. “Excuse me: one, I am to be referred to as Lord Discord, remember? And two, you can’t change the contract now, I’m ready to sign.” Discord snaps another contract into existence and prepares to sign, only for the brothers to scream and tear it up where it floats with their magic. “Alright, what seems to be the issue?”
“The issue?! Didn’t you see it?! Didn’t you see what we caused?!” Flim shouted.
“No, because that wasn’t the point. The point was for you two to see what I can do, remember?” Discord said with a coy smirk.
“We saw what it was, and it-it…” Flam stopped, and thought deeply. He was scared, scared to have Discord anywhere near him or his brother. The fact Discord didn’t even seem to realize what he showed them is what seemed to terrify him the most. The only way he was going to get rid of him, was to just go forward as a business pony. “It was the worst quality celebration we have ever seen!”
“Flam?” Flim looked to his brother, confused by his words.
“What, Flim? It is the truth. No wonder those two didn’t want him to do it, he's simply awful.” Flam said as his eyes met Flim. He began to do some gestures with his hooves, a hidden code of gestures the brothers had come up with when they needed to say something to one another during a deal without letting on to anyone else what they were saying.
Flim was confused at first, but when he read it as ‘Just go along with it and get them out of here’, he knew what he had to do. “Yes, in fact, we’re canceling the whole thing and refunding all our patrons. In fact, we’ll even donate an extra half of what we return to local charities to help cheer up those less fortunate than us for this Hearthwarming, er, all Hearthwarmings."
“T-that’s right, and you, ‘Lord Discord’. You need to untie those foals immediately. They were right all along, and we were just utter idiots for not listening to them. In fact, we’ll do more than charities, we’ll be donating ten percent of our profits to schools from now on as well. We’ll even donate to that new school of Princess Twilight's, I’m sure her students will appreciate it.” Flam said.
“But then what am I supposed to get Fluttershy?” Discord asked nonchalantly.
“GET OUT!” The brothers shouted, pointing towards the door. Then realizing they just yelled at a terrifying being in the first place, they both meekly said. “...Please?”
“...” Discord just stared at them for a moment, and held up his empty cup. “One for the road?”
The brothers began to twitch, then fell over crying, begging Discord to just leave them alone. Sobbing, huddled together from the trauma, unable to forget what they saw.
Discord just stared at them and shrugged. “I guess not. I must say, the service here is terrible. One star to the both of you. I am never coming back here. Goodbye!” He said, a subtle smirk growing on his face, as he snapped his tail, causing you, Scootaloo, and himself to disappear from the room.
With victory obtained, Discord took the time to dress up as a jolly ole brit, complete with mustache and monocle, taking sips from a fancy tea cup. “Good show, everypony, good show. We really let those two have it, jolly good.”
You smirked back at him as you took a deserved stretch. “Yeeeeah, well, it was nothing, really. It was hilarious.”
Scootaloo giggled as she raised her hoof in cheer. “Yeah! That’ll teach ‘em! How could they even think about trying to have the holidays all to themselves? Those guys are always after the easiest bit they can get. But you know what? I bet after that, they’ll never do anything sneaky again.”
“I’ll be surprised if they can even celebrate that holiday again.” Discord said as he took a sip. But as he did, his eyes went wide as he looked back at Scootaloo in surprise. “Wait, so you really don’t have a problem with what we just did? It was much more extreme than what Anon and I explained.”
Scootaloo shrugged. “I know, but you kinda get used to the weirder stuff when you’ve hung out with Anon for so long. Also, well, Princess Luna does this kind of stuff all the time. She even did it to me to teach me a lesson. So yeah, kinda hard to be creeped out when you’re the thing creeping them out.”
“Oh, right, I forget she does that. Well, I think Anon and I do it better. There’s a big difference between realizing it is all a dream and never realizing it at all.” Discord said, before giving a sly grin. “Trust me, we’ve done this before, it is a tried and true formula. Well, once before, but it has so far proven most successful”
“You mean in reforming? Huh, well, if it’s okay for Princess Luna to do it, then I guess it’s okay for us to do it. Besides, it was fun! I-I mean it wouldn’t be fun if they didn’t deserve it, but they totally did!” Scootaloo then turned to you, amazed. “No wonder you got your cutie mark in chaos, you're awesome at it!”
You felt a high sense of pride from that. You didn’t know what it was, but Scootaloo being fully okay with this whole thing honestly felt nice. Diamond liked it too, of course, but usually just for you. Scootaloo actually seemed to enjoy the chaos aspect. “Well, yeah, I mean, it’s my thing. But, Scootaloo, are you really okay with what we just did? I mean, there’s a prank, and then there’s that. It was super realistic.”
“C’mon, Anon, I know we weren’t really going to hurt them, and we had to save Equestria from them too! If we did this to somepony like Miss Cheerilee, I’d be pretty sad about it. But those guys? Totally deserved it.” Scootaloo then looked at Discord, and suddenly smiled towards him. “Hey, Discord, thanks for inviting me.”
Discord was stunned by those words for a moment, and turned to face her. “Hm? Well, there’s no need for thanks, really. I required a mediator, and you were the best choice.”
“C’mooooon, we already did the whole apology thing, I know it was more than that.” Scootaloo giggled as she gave him a cheery smile. “C’mon, can’t you just say you had fun and wanna stay friends? Like, you know what I mean. It’s okay, it ain’t so tough.”
“Hmnnnn…” Discord crossed his arms for a moment, trying to stare down Scootaloo. But it was to no avail, she was in too good a mood. “You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
“C’mon, Dad, don’t be a prude. You know you want to. You’re only holding back because you don’t want to get emotional in front of me and Scootaloo again. It’s fine, we won’t tell anypony.” You tell him, trying to get him to just admit he wants to be friends with Scootaloo.
Discord slapped his face with his paw, and pulled down on it, stretching his maw as he groaned. “So it is going to be that way. Fiiiinnnneeee.” Discord huffed as he bent backwards with annoyance. “Yes, I thought things went so well that I was very impressed with you, Scootaloo. And while I do have a sizable friend pool already, as well as a nice little family bucket, I suppose you can be my friend as well. To be honest, you’re really not that bad. In fact, I suppose the fact you have taken to chaos better than those other two friends of yours is as refreshing as I implied during our little apology. Now, I’m not going to get as emotional as Anon expects me to, but I will say that if you wish to ‘hang out’, I can talk to Spike and Big Mac in having some of our sessions during the day so you can perhaps learn the game we like to play, if you wish anyway. And maybe once or twice you can join Fluttershy and I for some tea. Now, I expect you not to be too childish about it an-” Discord stopped speaking when he felt Scootaloo hug him, when he looked down, he could see Scootaloo was just nuzzling onto him warmly. “Hmn, fine…” Discord gave up, and shrunk himself so he could give Scootaloo a proper hug as well. “There, are we done? See?” Discord pointed to his eyes, they were dry as a bone. “No tears, I’m very strong, unlike what a certain colt would say.”
“Yeah. I’m still sorry about what I said earlier though, I know you just really wanted to make Fluttershy happy and stuff, and that it doesn’t make you that One guy. In fact, Discord, I know Four and One and all the others are kinda just pieces of you. So you know what? I think you’re really capable of being better than all of them, even Four. Since, y’know, you are Four, but with all the other good parts too, like Five, he was cool. Erm, what I’m trying to say is, when you wanna be, you really are super great. Erm, not 'Rainbow Dash great', but pretty up there.” Scootaloo said, her smile becoming a little awkward. “I dunno if that came out right, but I hope it did.”
“Probably…” Discord said as he reverted to his normal size and turned away from Scootaloo, putting his arms behind his back as he marched a few steps forward. “In any case, this has now gotten boring. However, as long as you keep it between the three of us.” A photo suddenly began to gently float down in front of Scootaloo. “A souvenir of those two’s most shocked faces, so you’ll always remember your first chaotic venture.”
Scootaloo smiled, and took it. “Thanks, Discord, I’ll treasure it, I promise.”
Discord recoiled at those words, but tried to hide it by continuing to face away from her. “Yes… Well, I’d hope so. Anyway, it is getting late, and Anon and I must be well rested for tomorrow. Important family business and all that.”
“You mean Chrysalis, right? Hey, good luck with that, okay?” Scootaloo turned back towards you with a hopeful nod. “I mean it, I hope things go great!”
“We’ll be fine, Scootaloo, thank you. Oh, hey, ummm… Can you maybe not ever say the word ‘crap’ again, please? Y’know, I just don’t need that word spreading.” God, you really didn’t. You already had Starlight and Chrysalis spouting human words nonchalantly at this point.
“Okay, fine, I guess I shouldn’t say it anyway, it really made me sound angry.” Scootaloo said as she yawned a bit. “Yeah, it is getting late. I think I’m ready to go home.”
Discord raised his paw, and prepared a snap. “If I was Four, I’d tell you to get a good rest. But since I’m not, I won’t.”
Scootaloo giggled at that. “Alright, whatever you say. Good night, you guys, and good luck again!” Scootaloo said as she waved goodbye, disappearing in an instant from Discord’s snap.
Discord just stood there, silent.
“C’mon, drop the melodrama already. I know you’re happy to make another friend that actually likes you. Scootaloo is a good pony, I promise. You won’t regret it.” You say, trying to console him.
But still Discord said nothing. Instead, he opened a portal once again and tossed a stink bomb through it, only this time came the vengeful laughter of Starlight as she was able to catch and throw the grenade back through the portal and right into Discord’s face. “Not this time! Haha! I stayed up allll night for this! I got-” But the portal closed just as quickly as it appeared as the grenade exploded in Discord’s face, burning off his eyebrows and mustache as his eyes and nose shriveled from the noxious fumes of stink.
“Feel better now?” You ask Discord, as he stands there like a statue.
Discord stands there for a little while longer, then slowly takes a comb and runs it across his face, pulling new hairs for his beard and eyebrows out of nowhere. He then puts a small tube into his face and uses a pump to restore his shriveled features. He then looks back at you with a stoic expression and nods. “Yes.”
“Alright then.” You say, nodding back. You felt like Discord had learned a valuable lesson today. You mused over the whole thing, even taking into account how much fun Scootaloo had in general. You felt pretty bad about yourself, actually. Scootaloo had really improved herself, and had you been much more supportive of her in the past… Damn, maybe she would have been able to fly with the inner power of chaos, or something. Hmmnnn…
Discord was staring at you, and as usual, he became somewhat aloof as he passed by you, speaking in a profound fashion. “Ah, I can see you’re deep in thought. Thinking about tomorrow, I take it. Well, Anon, you shouldn’t be. I promise I’ll be keeping my word. And why shouldn’t I? I’m an upstanding spirit of chaos, am I not? Besides, we’re family, and I think Chryss- er, Chrysalis, will make a fine addition to it. Not as your nanny, but as your sister. And- Ew, okay, now that left a bad taste in my mouth for some reason.”
You looked up at him, your concentration broken, and just gestured your hoof towards him. “Huh? Nah, I wasn’t thinking that. But it is good to hear that. I dunno, I guess I was scared that maybe you were planning something despite what you had already said.” But then you suddenly gave Discord an arrogant smirk. “But I guess having fun on another chaos run, with Scootaloo making your heart three sizes bigger, really meant something to you if you’re actually going to try to be good on my account and not just Fluttershy’s. And I mean you really meaning that, and not just saying it. It’s super cute, Discord, I like it.”
Discord narrowed his eyes at you “Did you make another one of your human references at me?”
You gave him a cool solid nod. “Yep, I mean, it is close to Hearthwarming, isn’t it? You’re like the Grinch at the end of the story. Lighten up, Discord, I was essentially complimenting you.”
Discord summoned up some sort of pamphlet and began to speed read it, not even turning to look at you as he read. “The Grinch, you say? Ah, I see the reference now. But, Anon, ‘Christmas’ hasn’t come yet. And do you know what that means?”
…Goddammit, what is he going to do now? You tensed as you prepared to run. Where were you going to run in this void? You had no idea, but he was planning something. “W-what? What does it mean?”
Discord immediately turned into a skunk and grinned. “Well, if I could use three words to describe it, it’d be stink, stank, stunk.” And right after his last word, an explosion of putrid stink rushed out of him. In an instant, you fell over from the fumes. It was something horrible, like a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce
Discord merely rubbed his chest fur arrogantly and blew on his claws. “Boy, ain’t I a nasty, wasty skunk?”
“Don’t worry, Aunt Fluttershy, I got it!” You said as you placed your horn on your head. Fluttershy had opened the oven to pull out the fresh apple pie she was baking for the visit, and you yourself were generally excited it was happening at all. Today is the day! You gingerly use your telekinesis to grab the pie and gently place it on the table. “There we go! Oh man, it looks good!”
“Thank you, Anon.” Fluttershy said cheerfully as she gave you a gentle pat. “Mhmm, I made sure to bake it the exact way this recipe told me too. Oh, and I made sure to make it with lots of love.” Fluttershy said with a wink, before having a bit of a giggle. “Oh my, this is exciting.”
The fact Fluttershy was excited for the visit also put you in very positive spirits. You had a game plan for this. Well, most of a game plan. You didn’t know what you’d do if Chrysalis suddenly went on some angry tirade, but that is also why you were going to make sure to conserve your charges. Dammit, don’t think that way. Chrysalis won’t get angry. Despite her temper, she is master class at conducting herself properly. You were sure she wanted this, to feel like she has a family again. “Awesome! You have no idea how excited I am for this! Trust me, Chrysalis is pretty cool, I promise! I mean, like, she’s pretty good around Diamond, so she’s going to be good around you too. I swear it!” God, why are you overpromising?
Fluttershy showed no hint of hesitance or fear towards the meeting. She also found your excitement quite charming. She couldn’t help but encourage it. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine, you’ll see. I’m actually excited to see her car. If it really makes her that happy to have it, then I want to be happy with her. I’m sure it is very impressive.”
Fluttershy wants to see her car? Awesome! “Really? Erm, the car can be pretty scary, Aunt Fluttershy.”
“Really?” Fluttershy asked, finally showing a hint of worry.
Shit! “Erm, I meant, like, scary awesome. Erm… Well, actually, you’ll really like the inside of it. It is super comfy, the seats are really comfortable. And you can set the temperature to however you like it, you never have to be too hot or too cold. You can make it just right.”
“Oh, is that what you meant? Oh my, that does sound ‘scary’ good.” Fluttershy said with a giggle, before she began to imagine how comfy the seats must really be. “I didn’t know seats like that were possible. It sounds like a very expensive luxury from a five star hotel. I’m sure Rarity would love to experience something like that.”
Thinking about it, she probably would. “Yeah, I bet she actually would. Though, erm, I don’t actually think giving Miss Rarity a car is a good idea.”
“Oh? Why?” Fluttershy asked.
All you could imagine was Rarity with designer sunglasses and a white poofy hat, her expression becoming more twisted as she gained speed, screaming about something like society and fashion. “Uh, well, erm, it requires a lot of responsibility. And you know what happened with Starlight and that jet plane.”
“Oh, oh my. Alright, I understand.” Fluttershy said, with some slight dread in her voice. But then just as quickly as she came to worry about it, she also shook it out of her head to think of happier thoughts. “Well, Anon, I actually do want to ask you something. Do you think it’d be alright if I ask Chrysalis if she’d like a pet? Living home alone in the forest must be awfully lonely, she could use a friend for all the time you’re away.”
Hm, not a bad idea, actually. Although, she’d probably be hesitant to the idea. Or she’d flat out refuse it just to save face. “Erm, let’s just see how the visit goes before we ask her. I just want to take this one step at a time.”
“Right.” Fluttershy said with a nod. “One step at a time.” Fluttershy then let out a little noise of realization as she looked around. “Oh, we should probably get your father. Do you think he’s finished with his project?”
“Uhm, let me see.” You placed your hoof over your ear and activated your codec to contact Discord. “Ring ring, Dad, you there?”
“Now, ngh, isn’t a good time MNGH! I’m losing my fight against my emotioSADSDSD” Discord choked out as you heard a slamming noise come from your codec.
You just rolled your eyes. “Really? You’ve been fighting him since last night. The crowd, the commenters, and your trainer already left! Which is kinda sad, actually, since they’re all just clones of you.”
“D-don’t patronize me! Ngh, you should have helped me through this if you wanted me to be on time!” Discord gurgled out.
“Anon? Is your father okay?” Fluttershy asked, feeling a growing seed of worry.
“Yeah, just give me a second.” You sighed as you put on your horn, grumbling under your breath. “Can’t believe I fucking have to waste a charge on this. So much for being ready for today.”
Within seconds, you can hear a high pitched squeal of pain come from your ear. Then a moment of silence. And then finally Discord’s voice once more. “Hm, a kick below the belt. As Rarity would say, that is quite uncouth. Hm, nonetheless, I suddenly feel quite good.”
Finally… “Cool, so can you come over now? Please?”
Without a word, Discord suddenly appears within the room holding a champion belt. “I’m here, everypony, I’m here. So sorry to keep you all waiting, but…” Discord grins as he holds up his championship belt. “I had a sudden exhibition match scheduled for this morning and I didn’t want to let my fans down.”
Fluttershy rubbed her chin for a moment, as that seemed to strike her as odd. She knows Discord wouldn’t be allowed in an actual wrestling match. And, whatever this project was, it had to do with something important. Something you both didn’t tell her. “Discord, erm, while I think winning a belt like that is very neat, and I mean that. That wouldn’t be because you were, say, wrestling with your feelings over something?”
While you tensed from those words, fearing Fluttershy was suddenly going to go into ‘mommy’ mode and dig into what you, Scoots, and Discord did last night, Discord, instead, just grins with confidence as he snaps the belt away. “I have been. Now, you may think it has to do with today. But what if I told you I made a new friend in Scootaloo?”
“You made friends with Scootaloo?” Fluttershy asked, rather confused. But then she began to smile, as she was always proud of Discord making friends. “Discord, I’m so proud of you! Ooooh, tell me about it, pleeeease? I know you have wanted to make more friends ever since you took back those clones from the wedding.” Fluttershy asked while giving him big, shimmering eyes.
“Ah, but I wouldn’t say that is what pushed me to make the friendship, as one might guess. No, I simply thought since she seemed to have some enjoyment for chaos, that maybe having her along for my more innocent mischief I do with Anon wouldn’t hurt.” Discord then gives a cool shrug. “If anything, she makes sure I don’t take things too far. At least that’s what I think, anyway. And as an added bonus, she’ll most likely be our fourth player for my O&O sessions, since Anon still refuses to play.”
Well, that was eloquent. “Y-yeah, that sounds about right.”
“I’m so proud of you, Discord!” Fluttershy said with glee and she jumped up and gave him a hug. It was always a sight to see Discord handle Fluttershy’s physical affection. He always softened up and hugged her back, stewed in the ooey gooey goodness of it all, and then quickly changed subjects. Speaking of…
“Well, uh, look at the time! We better make haste before that pie gets cold.” Discord said as he readied a snap.
“O-oh, right! Of course!” Fluttershy takes the pie and holds it within her wings like hands. “I’m ready!”
“Ready too. C’mon, let’s go already!” Yes! It was time!
With a snap, you three disappear and reappear in front of Chrysalis’s mansion. It was rather cool out. The manor itself was always kept in good condition, thanks to Chrysalis. She clearly was shoveling, or blasting, the snow and making sure her mansion was clear of any snow piles or icicles hanging off the edges of the roof. You were already ready to knock. You look up at Fluttershy, who gives you a nod of readiness. You rushed towards the door, and gave it an excited knock. “Chrysalis! Hey! We’re here!”
The three of you stood at the ready. You looked back at Discord, just to make sure he was taking things seriously. There he stood, keeping his word. You admired him for that, it must be ridiculously hard for him to do. A habit that is near unbreakable.
You could hear a sound coming from the other side of the door. This was it! HERE WE GO! YES!
The door slowly opened. Chrysalis was there, as expected. But what wasn’t expected was her tired look. She was wearing some sort of shirt and apron that seemed to have splotches of paint on it. She just stared at the three of you, the silence was awkward.
Finally, Fluttershy held out the pie, hoping to save the situation and raise the mood. “Good morning, Chrysalis! It is very very nice to finally be able to visit your home. We’ve baked you an apple pie that we very much hope you enjoy.”
Chrysalis stares at it silently and licks her lips for a moment. “Well, it certainly is delicious. Been some time since I had a good meal.”
Fluttershy just stood there confused, and looked at the pie. “But you haven't tast… Erm… Okay.”
“Um, hey Chrysalis! What’s up, erm, uh… What’s up?” Holy shit, this was really goddamn awkward.
“Hm? Ooooh.” Chrysalis slapped her forehead with her hoof as she groaned. “Right, the visit was today. I thought you were trying to get in my good graces with that love-filled pie.” Chrysalis stretched for a moment and stood aside to let the three of you in. “Well, might as well come in. I’ve been working on some projects and I’d actually like to hear some honest opinions about them.”
What the fuck was going on? While Fluttershy was more than happy to step inside, you were suddenly on edge. Discord, though, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling. But something felt off. Fluttershy, still holding the pie, looked around at the extravagant entrance hall, from the grand chandelier above to the black tiling and red royal walls to the west and east stairways both leading up and joining together to the second floor. “Chrysalis, your home is amazing.”
“Yes, I know.” Chrysalis said as she used her magic to snatch up the pie and gently place it on a small table next to the door. “Let’s just put this here, I don’t want it getting on anything.”
“So, you mentioned you were working on projects.” Discord said as one of his eyes diverted itself to keep an eye on Fluttershy. “What kind of projects? I’m genuinely interested. Certainly not anything to do with, hm, maps or gaps, or perhaps food wraps?”
The hell did that mean?
“Shut up, Discord, it isn’t a trap.” Chrysalis said, though still in a rather tired tone.
“Discord!” Fluttershy gasped as she stared up at Discord.
“What?! I didn’t even say trap! I, erm, was actually expecting food wraps. You know, you have to feed your guests.” Discord said with a disingenuous grin. Ugh, you couldn’t blame him for suspecting something. Something was off with Chrysalis, but you didn’t know what.
Chrysalis just sighed and walked over to the stairs on the left. “Discord, whatever you think, it doesn’t bother me. I just spent all night watching this painting show, this painting show with a man named Bob Ross. This is not to be repeated, but I somehow gained some sort of joy in painting. So much so that I lost track of time, I don’t even know how it happened. Seriously, that man has some sort of power he projects through the screen that somehow soothes a soul like mine.” Chrysalis then pointed to the left wall, above the stairs. Upon further inspection, there were three paintings there, hung on the wall. “So these are my projects, including the large painting on the second floor, and the three paintings hanging near my right staircase. I’ve spent all night and morning painting them, and now, since you’re here, you’re going to rate a few of them. It’s the least you can do for having the privilege to step into my home.” She pointed briefly to the three paintings on the other end, but they were all covered by sheets. Whatever they were, you could only think that maybe Chrysalis had the foresight to know they’d be upsetting to Fluttershy, if that was indeed the reason they were covered.
Bob Ross? My god, it was worse than you thought. Chrysalis had been compelled by the original ASMR god. She got caught up watching him somehow and just began painting to pass the time. And time passed so much, she didn’t seem to have realized what the day was even. How the fuck did this happen?
Like, not like it was a bad thing. But at this point, one can believe that Bob Ross is the most harmony-filled man next to Mr. Rogers. If he was to become a pony and arrive in Equestria, his very soul could cleanse the universe better than the elements could.
“We’d love to, Chrysalis.” Fluttershy said, trying to be as supportive as she could. “I don’t know who Bob Ross is, but if painting is your hobby, then it is something I want to support. Especially now, since we’re going to be such good friends.”
“Right…” Chrysalis said as she took another stretch. Hm, something really did seem off about her. She wasn’t just tired, you think she’s actively trying to refrain herself from reacting harshly or saying something overtly evil. So far, she’s doing a pretty good job. Maybe it wasn’t worth thinking too deeply into it right now. She is a changeling queen, after all, something like this should be seemingly easy for her to pull off. You just hope she also means it.
“Erm, um, so this is the first painting?” Fluttershy tried to shift away from the awkwardness to make everything pleasant again by focusing on the first painting. It wasn’t anything special really. Actually, it was surprisingly nothing special. It was essentially a copy of something Bob Ross would paint, down to a little log cabin by a small lake, a mountain, a blue sky, and a few happy little trees. “It is so nice. It is like sitting in the plains and looking across the river to see a beautiful scene.”
“Yes…” Chrysalis said as she looked back on the painting. “I didn’t expect this one to really impress anypony. At first, it almost felt like a window to the human world. But then I realized something like this can exist in Equestria too. Anyway, I suppose I appreciate you liking it, since I can tell these two aren’t impressed.”
Ngh… Well, you wanted to be impressed. But it is kinda hard when it is something so simple and you’re not emanating any love for it. Discord, thank god, didn’t react to those words. But you just had to say something, you didn’t want Chrysalis to feel bad. “E-erm, wel-”
But Chrysalis quickly interrupts you, as she didn’t want to hear an excuse. “Don’t try to act like you are, Anon. It doesn’t even upset me. Honestly, if you tried to pass this off to me as art, I’d slap you across the room.” Chrysalis then grinned as she moved on to the next painting. “But this… This is true art. What do you think of this?” Chrysalis then pointed higher up the stairs, to the next painting.
“Woah, no way.” Now this was cool. “Is that John Rico?”
“Now I can tell you’re impressed. Isn’t it beautiful? The documentary never really told what happened at the end of the war, and I can’t imagine somepony like you would know, given you’re probably nothing more than a civilian. Look at him, gun held high, as he stands on the corpses of those dirty disgusting bugs. It is a masterpiece, isn’t it? This was the fifth painting I made and I wanted it to be perfect.” Chrysalis said, her pride and ego oozing out of her voice.
Discord chuckled for a moment. “He is a civilian, isn’t he? Then again, he wouldn’t be here had he fought in that war, if you know what I mean. Three, two minutes maybe? No, he’d probably be on one of the ships that got shot out in space. Ah, but the painting, I actually like it. War is chaos after all, even if it isn’t my cup of tea. What do you think, Flutt-wait.” Discord then looks over at Fluttershy. “T-this doesn’t upset you, does it?”
Fluttershy was definitely stunned, her breath a little deeper than usual. But she wasn’t shrieking, she wasn’t turning away. She just looked over at Chrysalis, and she could only respond in a meekish way. “I-I like the brave pose he has, and the flag he, um, planted, looks nice.” Fluttershy then covered her eyes. ”Mhmmm, I like it”
Chrysalis looked upon Fluttershy for a moment, then she shrugged, still feeling proud of herself. “I’ll take it, the fact you, of all ponies, are clearly entranced with the best part of this painting means quite a lot. It’s almost funny, actually, us ladies finding this man to be absolute perfection. If only Discord had brought him instead, I could have corrupted him and had the perfect soldier.” Chrysalis then suddenly entered maniacal laughter for a moment before calming down, wiping a tear from her eye. “Ah well, Anon is still alright.”
“Gee… Thanks…” Good to know Discord and Chrysalis can team up in a way to still insult you. Yay…
Fluttershy just let out an awkward chuckle. She seemed like she wanted to say something to defend you, but she also knew this was important to you, so she felt she had to hold back, so she moved on to looking at the next painting. This one though, she found it cute. “Awww, this one is nice. Scrappy is wearing a cute little hat, but who is the changeling sitting across from him?”
You narrowed your eyes to get a better look. You almost thought it was Jimmy, but no. Scrappy was posed sitting on a chair, playing poker on a poker table, looking focused. While the other one was more laid back, looked tougher, holding a wine glass and laughing with his cards on the table. You still couldn’t place it. “Yeah, I don’t know who that is.”
“Tommy, it’s Tommy.” Discord said as he suddenly had a picture of Joe Pesci in his paw. He then held the card out towards you, and flipped it around a bit. It was like a holographic card, where shifting it changed it from human form to changeling form, and vice versa. “See, I pay attention.”
Chrysalis just puts her hoof to her face and shakes her head. “That’s just sad. I don’t even want to talk about this painting anymore. Alright, let’s just move on to the last one.” Chrysalis walks up stairs to point to the grand painting hanging in the middle of the second floor. “Of course, when it comes to my little gallery, a painting of my regal and fearsome self must watch over all. Feast your eyes on this!” Chrysalis said proudly as she displayed the last uncovered painting. It was a huge painting of her sitting on a golden throne in a relaxed and cool state, surrounded by various guns as a nuclear explosion seemed to have been set off far in the background. Chrysalis was also wearing sunglasses, which she was loosely wearing to subtly uncover a rather sexy but disinterested look. At first, it was strange she would depict herself like this. But then you realized it, she’s expressing her love for human culture. It took you a moment to even realize that the throne was in the style of an extravagant car seat, which you probably should have got given the cup holder with a soda cup in it. It was kind of dorky, but in a cool way. Chrysalis obviously saw this as the peak of human life. It also helped that no detail was spared in this painting, Chrysalis obviously spent the most time making sure this, most of all, came out the most detailed.
Fluttershy actually looked impressed as well. Discord just golf clapped towards it.
“It actually looks really really nice. I gotta say, Chrysalis, you look pretty chill here. What inspired you to paint yourself this way?” You had to know, you were genuinely interested
Chrysalis actually seemed to nearly beam when she saw you so interested in the painting. But she then looked at Discord, and instantly calmed herself, obviously not wanting to show too much weakness, at least towards him. “Well, it really wasn’t anything specific. My lust for conquest is so old news. When it comes to social status, having everything everpony doesn’t have is how you truly show you’re the best. And if that doesn’t work, I have so many ways to blow them away that the only difficult part about all this is what to choose to do it with. With my personality? My vast treasures? Or with a magnum. There might be too many choices, actually.”
Discord silently put his talon to his ear, and you could suddenly hear your codec going off. You gently placed your hoof on your ear to activate it for your end, and all you could hear were cuckoo clock noises. Christ, as if he’s one to talk.
“I don’t know what a magnum is, but I think this is perfect. Everything is so different, and curious. But most of all, it all looks so genuinely interesting. Chrysalis, I think you took your best parts of you and painted it here. You look so relaxed, nothing anypony thinks is bothering you at all. Yet, you look ready for anything. Like there is no challenge that will ever keep you down, not even a mushroom explosion thingy. I really like it!” Fluttershy started to clap “Truly amazing.”
Discord, subtly noting Fluttershy’s reaction, follows suit in complementing the painting. “No complaints here, it certainly captures the new side of you.”
“Yeah, Chrysalis. I gotta say, I wasn't expecting this. I bet Diamond would think you look super cool in this painting.” You really did. Even if she didn’t understand all of it, the exotic nature of the painting would certainly thrill her.
“Oh come on.” Chrysalis said with a smirk, waving her hoof. She then suddenly shrugged. “Nevermind, I know it’s perfect. It is me, after all. Oh, since you’re all here, would you like to see my car? I never get a chance to really show off its magnificence to anypony and I figure, since I have your attention, that you should have a taste of perfection.”
“Actually, I very much would. Anon has made it sound so interesting, that I actually have been excited all morning to see it.” Fluttershy said with enthusiasm.
“Really?” Chrysalis slowly turns over to you. You give her a wink, and a childish and overly positive nod. “Well then…” Chrysalis somersaults from the second floor and easily lands back down to the first. “This way then, I mustn’t keep you all waiting. What kind of host would I be keeping you from such beauty. Not a good one, I’ll tell you that.”
So far, this was actually working out better than you could have ever dreamed of. Chrysalis was happy, you were happy, Fluttershy was happy… And that’s all that mattered really. You were glad Discord was here, but you somehow got the feeling his overall opinion wasn’t what Chrysalis really cared about.
Chapter 252 - Agreements, Compromises, and Automobiles
The trek down the cavernous stairs to Chrysalis’s cave basement was long, reaching deep into the underground beneath the forest. Chrysalis led on, you staying beside Fluttershy as Discord stood in back, in adventurer gear, as he held a lantern above Fluttershy’s head to keep her in comfort within the light.
“So then, Fluttershy, what does being the element of kindness entail anyway? It almost makes me think that you’re forced to unconditionally act all good and interested in everything. I don’t mean to sound condescending, but it does explain Discord.” Chrysalis said.
Fluttershy, even unexpectedly to you, did not react to those words with discontent. She knew what she had to deal with, and just like with Discord, she would push on through until she could befriend her. “Not at all, I’ve always been very friendly, and always feel the need to help everycreature. I can still dislike things too: like Nightmare Night, a-and Tirek, and Rainbow Dash’s scarier pranks. If you think I’m only being nice about wanting to see your car just to be nice, well, don’t think that. I really want to see it.”
“Hm, interesting. I’m aware of Nightmare Night, but given how mostly secret my whereabouts are, I couldn’t really have the pleasure in partaking, even if the risk of being found out is slim. Anon thinks I could really shake things up, put a real scare into everypony.” Chrysalis said with a slightly evil chuckle.
“Erm, and I also said within reason! Remember, the point is to have fun!” You let out in a sheepishly nervous fashion.
“Oh, relax, Anon. You know that I’m well aware of what happened with Princess Luna. I have a lot more tact than that without needing the help of the purple princess.” Chrysalis said, her tone more jovial than annoyed.
“Well, given you can become anything or anycreature, maybe you, erm, can become something scary for a haunted maze or, erm, maybe turn your mansion into a haunted one? Maybe? I know if Discord made things safe to get here, everypony would be able to have fun.” Fluttershy suggested, while hoping that wasn’t too far reaching of a suggestion.
Chrysalis began to slowly ponder on that. “Hmmmm, it wouldn’t really produce any delicious love. But I do love spreading terror into the hearts of ponies. But I’d rather not have my manor be so public, Anon has already had one of his little friends find their way here without my permission, and I value my privacy. So… Perhaps that maze thing can work, as long as I’m not overly limited on what I’m allowed to do. I do my best work when I set my own expectations. I’m sure your pony friend, Rarity, would understand what I mean.”
“I think, as long as you’re nicer to the foals, that it would be fine to be really really scary. You’d be surprised how many ponies try to be at their scariest on Nightmare Night… It’s why I, erm, never leave home during it.” Fluttershy said with a bit of a cowardly quiver.
Chrysalis stopped for a moment. You expected her to look back in surprise, or maybe try to be prideful about it. But no, she only stopped, then continued with a short “Huh…”
“Chrysalis, would you mind if I ask you a question?” Fluttershy asked.
“I suppose that’s only fair.” Chrysalis said.
“Erm, well, what do you think of animals?” Fluttershy asked, with hope in her heart.
Chrysalis stopped again, and gave Fluttershy a deadpan look. “I’m going to do you a favor and not answer that question, for your sake.”
“O-oh… Okay then, erm, never mind.” Fluttershy said, looking down, feeling a little dejected.
“Hey, don’t worry, Aunt Fluttershy, it’s just how it is. But, erm, Chrysalis. She wanted to ask you if you wanted to try having a pet.” Ugh, you felt Fluttershy asked a bit too early in the visit for that question, so you might as well follow up and try to salvage it.
“A pet?” Chrysalis giggled. “Anon, you already know I can make anything my ‘pet’. Or really, more of a ‘toy’. Or if you’re actually being serious with that question, then no, I’d rather not have one.” Chrysalis’s mocking tone took a tinge of hurt with her next words. “I’d rather not have the responsibility of raising something else. I’m not a mother anymore.”
Eugh, okay, that didn’t work out either. It just turned out to be part of a touchy subject. You were already trying to figure out a way to bounce back, but Fluttershy walked up to Chrysalis’s side, in a way to reassure her. “Then let’s not worry about it then. I know! Have you ever heard of Ogres and Oubliettes?”
That took you aback to hear Fluttershy ask that. But Discord? He looked mortified. He immediately stepped up, and tried to be as polite as possible. “Now, Fluttershy, surely you don’t mean to follow up that question with what I think you mean, do you?”
Chrysalis stopped, and looked back at Discord with a smirk. “Oh, does she mean Equestria’s equivalent to Dungeons and Dragons? What’s wrong, Discord? Are you afraid I’d ruin your little game?”
Fluttershy gasped and looked back at Discord with sharp eyes. “Discord, I hope that’s not what you were about to say.”
Discord was heavily stunned, he shot a glance at you, before feigning utter approval of Chrysalis’s knowledge. “Quite the opposite, w-we’re always looking for more dedicated players.”
“Chrysalis, you know what D&D and O&O is?” You asked, quite confounded yourself.
“I know all the introductory rules thanks to that compendium of human knowledge you left me. I thought the disc film would teach me how to properly maintain dungeons like humans would and to take control of dragons as a whole. But no, it was a long introductory piece on the game itself. As for ‘O&O’, the name sounded similar enough to be the Equestrian equivalent. Which brings me to the question…” Chrysalis moved up to Discord with an innocent smile as she batted her eyes “Do you reaaaalllly mean that, Discypoo?”
“Discypoo?!” Discord reeled back in disgust, but then when his eyes met Fluttershys, he knew he had no way out of this. “O-of course.”
Chrysalis immediately went back to walking down the stairs as she went back to her cold demeanor. “Good. Sessions are to be at my home, in the dining room, with you, nor your little friends, touching any of my nice things. If I have a campaign I want you all to play, we will play it, and we will have a special rule where I can play a villain character, a magnificent and high level villain character. Oh, and don’t worry, we can also have a special rule where losing to my character won’t result in permanent loss of yours, as long as you all remember who is the dominant player.” Chrysalis then turned to Fluttershy with an almost childishly jovial smile as she hopped up “Let’s go, Fluttershy, we’re almost there! Come on!” Chrysalis said as she happily stepped down the last few steps to guide Fluttershy to the car, Fluttershy happily following along, feeling everything worked out.
Discord just stood there, stunned. He then looked at you, even more stunned. “What… What just happened?”
“I have no fucking clue…” You didn’t even know if Chrysalis was serious about that. And if she was, it clearly was more for the game than it was for the company. Well, as they say, roleplay is a great way to release one’s urges. “But that’s your problem, buddy.” You said as you walked past Discord, scampering off to rejoin Fluttershy and Chrysalis as Discord stood there, astonished.
“Here it is…” Chrysalis happily flew over to her pride and joy, her mechanical baby, the Queenmobile, in immaculate condition as usual. “Feast your eyes on this! Isn’t it beautiful? The impenetrable exoskeletal-like frame, powerful bone grinding wheels, a booster that screams with a green flame, and…” Chrysalis then gave the command to open the top of the Queenmobile to reveal the interior seating arrangements within, with the futuristic neon green dashboard lighting up. “More than royal furnishings within. What do you think?”
Fluttershy just stood there, staring. As you caught up, you just noticed she was rather silent, not even saying a word. It didn’t take long for Chrysalis’s mood to suddenly sour. “Oh, I see. What was I expecting?” Chrysalis said with an aggravated chuckle. “Why should I have ever expected ponies to understand the wonder of my Queenmobile? Well, I expect them to fear it. But you? Well… I expected…”
Chrysalis hesitated, and at that hesitation, Fluttershy realized how she was reacting and was quick to speak up. “Wait! Wait! I didn’t say I hated it!”
“You didn’t say you liked it, either. You didn’t say anything at all.” Chrysalis said, still unreasonably annoyed.
“W-well, that’s the thing, I-I don’t know what it is, but it reminds me of something. Something… Like a bat. I think it’s very nice.” Fluttershy answered as she slowly approached the car.
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at her, she then looked at you and rolled her eyes. “Anon, did you set this up? ‘I think it’s very nice’. Ugh, there’s no way she’d know what the base idea was unless you told her about it. I don’t like mindless praise.”
Wut?! “I… I never told her about Batman, I swear! A-aunt Fluttershy? Does it really remind you of a bat?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Yes. You’d think, maybe, I’d find something like this a little scary. But I don’t. It’s almost like it speaks to me.” Fluttershy looked up to Chrysalis with a smile. “Would you mind if I went inside and had a seat?”
Chrysalis went silent, she looked at you, then back at Fluttershy, confused. “Seriously?”
Fluttershy nodded “Mhmm, u-unless you don’t want me to.”
Chrysalis’s eyes became unfocused for a second, she then looked back at the car, took another moment, then finally answered. “That seat there, on the right side. I’ll ask you not to touch my console.”
Fluttershy nodded and slowly hovered up to sit on the passenger side. “Thank you, oooh…oohhhhh. It isssss very comfy.” Fluttershy said softly as she melted into the comfortably and impossibly soft seat.
“Yes…” Chrysalis said silently as she slowly stepped up to you and whispered. “Anon, why does she look so pleased? I wasn’t expecting her to be so pleased.”
You whispered back, while in the same amazement she was, though feeling much more positive about it. “No idea. But isn’t this what you wanted?”
“I… I don’t know.” Chrysalis said, looking back at Fluttershy, who was patiently waiting inside the car. “You, how do you feel about going very fast?”
“Erm, well, I am a pegasus pony. I don’t mind, you’d be surprised how fast I had to fly before.” Fluttershy said, with some odd earnestness in her tone. She then looked ahead, and slid her hoof along the side of the car, gently. "If you want to go fast, then... I don't mind, I feel very... safe."
Chrysalis just silently went “Okay…” Before looking back at you. “Isn’t she the cowardly one?”
You shrugged. “Hey, she’s had to go fast before, like in this tornado thing this one time. You'd know, remember? Unless you didn't watch that many episodes. Bah, forget it. Look, this is a car. I know what you want to do, but do you think that maybe you could go not as fast? Please?”
Chrysalis looked back at Fluttershy, then back at you. “How many charges do you have right now, none?”
Dammit… “C’mon, I’m not an idiot. I actually got two this time.”
“Good. I’ll make you a deal. I’ll restrain myself, but I’d like you to temporarily open the path out. I know we agreed to close it, mostly because stupid ponies were led to believe this was Princess Luna’s car, but also to make sure nopony somehow slips in. But, well, I’d like to show her what I can do. Oh, and I’ll only need ten minutes, you can have us teleport right back here after that. How does that sound?” Chrysalis suggested as she slowly walked over to the driver side.
Wow… That was, well… Perfectly reasonable. “Uh, sure, I can do that.” You said as you slowly popped on the horn.
“Good, now get in before that idiot comes out of his stupor. I don’t want his hide ruining my unruinable interior.” Chrysalis said as she stepped in, and started the engine.
The tunnel lights of the underground cave passed by in a pattern above as Chrysalis drove at a steady pace towards the exit. Fluttershy was staring silently in awe, patting her seat in amazement at its softness, and staring at the passing lights. She showed no hint of fear. Chrysalis, amazingly, just seemed to enjoy it. Or at least was rather calm about Fluttershy’s wonder, keeping to her word to drive sanely.
In fact, you had to ask her, you had to ask how she was feeling right at this moment. “Aunt Fluttershy, are you alright? You haven’t really said anything since we got moving.”
Fluttershy turned her head back towards you with a gentle smile and nodded. “I’m perfectly fine, Anon. I’m a little upset that your Father didn’t want to come along, but… I don’t know, now that we’re moving, I’m just amazed by everything. I think we’re moving fast, but it doesn’t really feel like we’re moving at all. How does that work? Is it magic?”
“Oh, um, not really.” Wow, she really was enjoying herself. Which was crazy to you because you hadn’t even left the cave yet. Chrysalis hadn’t said anything either, as she was putting in the effort to make things work. You stared at Chrysalis silently for a moment, amazed that she was trying much more than you expected. Maybe, just maybe, she could chime in. “H-hey, Chrysalis, why don’t you explain how it works? It is your car, after all.”
“Hm? I certainly can.” Chrysalis peers over at Fluttershy while maintaining her heading. “Do you really want to know?”
Fluttershy nodded in earnest. “Oh yes please. It’s all so amazing, and even overwhelming. It feels so comfortable here, it almost feels like a dream.”
Chrysalis slowly cocked a satisfied smirk, it almost looked like she was pleased to see Fluttershy so interested. A stark contrast to her annoyance with Celestia. Then again, even you had to realize that when it came to that, Celestia was a tad condescending and deserving of some ire. “Well, it really is simple. The hood of this car opens and closes. When it is open, then you can feel the wind in your mane as you speed ahead. But with it closed, it keeps the wind and pressure from coming inside. Though, that is not to say you don’t feel anything at all. Perhaps it’s because I’m driving, but I love feeling the purs and roars of the engine, the feeling of force when I speed up or take a sharp turn, and even the exhilarating feeling of falling after making a jump or flying off a cliff. As for how comfortable it is, this car’s climate is entirely adjustable by command. In fact… Computer, would you mind setting all seats to low vibration?” And with the command, all the seats, even the ones in the rear, began to vibrate gently, causing a smooth buttery feeling to shoot through your body, as well as Fluttershy’s and Chrysalis’s. “Now, tell me how that feels.”
“Oooohhh… It feels like I’m at the spa.” Fluttershy said as she sunk into her seat, her eyes becoming glassy and filled with content.
Chrysalis snickered at that “You like that, huh? Hmmm…” Chrysalis noticed the end of the tunnel opening up to the morning light. She took a glance at Fluttershy again, and for the life of her, she couldn’t drum up any kind of snarky remark or hateful feeling. It made her curious. “Anon, a question for you.”
“Hm? What is it?” You asked, curious to the question she wanted to ask.
“I was just wondering. Do you think we should have a nice little drive along the country roads? Or perhaps drive up the mountain and fly off a cliff? Don’t worry about that last one, this car does feature a glide function. I just can’t decide for myself. Normally I crave excitement, but today? Well, I wouldn’t mind a simple cruise.” Chrysalis said as she passed the threshold of the tunnel, to the side of the mountain that leads to Canterlot. Chrysalis looked up and smiled. “It is a beautiful day out, isn’t it?”
Was… was this really Chrysalis? She seemed so happy and carefree right now. No hint of anger or disgust, or her usual brand of sarcasm. She said she’d keep the drive pleasant before all this, but perhaps she didn’t fully mean it when she said it before. The fact she was asking now what you wanted, it was unlike her. “Well, uh, um. Let’s just cruise, enjoy the sights. Heh, you want to go crazy, let’s wait for Twilight to want a ride.”
Chrysalis chuckled at that. “Sounds like a plan to me.” Chrysalis looked back at Fluttershy, who she still expected to be in a relaxed state. No, instead Fluttershy was looking at her with a gentle smile. “Ahrm, why are you looking at me like that?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m having a good time with you right now. I wanted to ask, if you don’t mind, if you’d join us for Hearthwarming.” Fluttershy asked in a cheerful tone.
Chrysalis said nothing at first, then she let out a tired sigh. “Honestly? Not really. I’ll grant you the courtesy of knowing it has nothing to do with you. I just don’t feel like dealing with all the love in the room, nor do I need all the drama. I get it, you accept me, so you feel others should as well. But let’s not kid ourselves, it simply isn’t happening.”
Fluttershy frowned, she tried to figure out something to say how untrue that was. But she knew, with someone like Chrysalis, she can’t just make a hopeful comment that could be believed in. But she wouldn’t give up either. She knew Chrysalis was different, that she had very particular boundaries, so she opted to see if she’d be happy with settling with what she had. “I understand. I won’t push you, but I want you to know that I accept you. Not just because of Anon, but because I consider you family, that has never changed.”
“See, about that. That is a delusion you shouldn’t believe in. I have no true family anymore. And if it wasn’t for Anon, I may have actually gone insane due to that fact alone. I am content with these frugal friendships I have. As for you, well, you have surprised me. I expected cowardice and false praises, but you have been genuine thus far. It’s funny actually, it makes me realize that Twilight Sparkle is terrible at what she does. Her attempts to level with me felt so forced and patronizing. Actually, I have to ask, don’t you feel the same way? She’s always trying way too hard. It surprises me that there aren't more creatures out there who want to destroy her just because of how annoying that is.” Chrysalis said, being rather callous about her feelings on Twilight.
“Um, look, Aunt Fluttershy, I kinda want to know from your perspective too. Because I’m not gonna lie, there’s a lot of times I wanted to, er, toss Twilight.” Into a volcano, is how you wanted to end that. Twilight, for all the good she’s done, always did feel mildly to heavily patronizing with her friendship crap. Not that it didn’t work out, but she always seems to come on way too strong. It made you understand why Starlight snapped at her the very first time Twilight tried to give her a friendship talk.
“Well…” Fluttershy’s ears folded as she tapped her hooves together, she looked out the window, and instead began to become captivated by the passing snowy roads as Chrysalis drove down to the roads at the base of the mountain. “Can’t we just enjoy the scenery instead? It’s so unique to see everything passing by from so low.”
“Come on, it’ll stay between us three. Humor me, Fluttershy, you did come to relate and earn my favor, didn’t you? Well, you’ve been successful so far.” Chrysalis said to her in a kindly manner.
“W-wait, really? Do you really enjoy my company?” Fluttershy asked, amazed Chrysalis would admit that.
Chrysalis shrugged. “I suppose I do. At least so far. But if I learned anything with my friendship with Anon, a relationship like this has some give and take. Admittingly, I take more than I give, but you’re not going to get much better than that. So, will you answer my question now?”
Interesting. Chrysalis was being manipulative, but she was holding back her usual blatant vicious and cunning nature. In her own way, she was befriending Fluttershy. Fluttershy was silent for a moment, nervous, looking through the window on her side ”...Sometimes Twilight just tries a little too hard. She is the Princess of Friendship…”. The way Fluttershy answered, you were about to ask Chrysalis to ease up a bit on her. But then, suddenly, Fluttershy looked back at her, with a question of her own. “But she does genuinely want to be friends with you. I won’t say you should give her a chance, but if you were to give at least one of us a chance, who would you pick? Erm, besides me too, because we're already friends.”
Chrysalis coughed at the sudden turn around. “W-what?! If I had to pick one of you?! What kind of question is that?! I said humor me, not disgust me to the core!”
“I don’t think it’s a hard question to answer, not at all. You said you take more than you give, and that’s fine. I give more than I take, and I want to give you the comfort of knowing you can have even more friends than you do now.” Fluttershy then gives her a stern, yet caring stare. “And you can’t say nopony either, it has to be one.”
“I’m not answering that stupid question.” Chrysalis said with a huff. “I’m not Discord, I can’t be persuaded with guilt or kindness like he can.”
“C’mon, Chrysalis, you know that isn’t true. You gave up ending Twilight because you thought I was a ponykebob, remember?” You say, quite interested in hearing the answer yourself, making an attempt to convince her. “Come on, we’re having a good time, having a good ride. And the question got me pretty curious. Who else would you want to be friends with?”
“That doesn’t count! I didn’t know I could even lose my will like that! It was an accident and you know it! How dare you use that situation against me! Who do you think you are?!” Chrysalis barked back at you, angrily looking at you.
You just gave her a cute angry pout. “I’m your best friend, remember? And now you’re convincing me you’re not so fearsome as you want everypony to think if you’re scared of an easy question like that.”
Chrysalis scoffed at your words. “Ha! Nice try, but I’m not as vain as Discord either. Did you really think that would work?!”
“Erm, C-Chrysalis?” Said a suddenly worried Fluttershy.
“What? Don’t try to convince me too. I’m never answering that question. As for you, Anon, I seem to remember you, despite all your anger, whining like a little baby when you thought my head got sliced off. What about that? Hm?!” Chrysalis said, demanding an answer.
“Chrysalis?” Fluttershy tried calling to her again, daring to give her leg a shake.
“What?! What do you want!? If you’re going to try to convince me, you cSDGDG” With a crash into a snowbank, Chrysalis and you are sent flying into the windshield. Amazingly, Fluttershy was not, as it seems that at some point, unbeknownst to anyone, she had somehow had the foresight to put on her seatbelt.
“O-oh my… Are you both okay?” Fluttershy asked, worried for the both of you.
“I slammed into my head… So I’ll be fine.” You said as you slowly reeled back onto Fluttershy’s seat, sitting back into her chest.
“Somepony is going to meet their end.” Chrysalis said. She had fallen headfirst into the snowbank she crashed into, and began to slowly rise out of it as snow slowly dropped from her crowned head. “Who put this here? Why is there so much snow?” Chrysalis barked as she climbed onto the bank and peered at her car. “How did my baby get stopped by powdered water?! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!”
“Chrysalis, hey, calm down!” You say as you quickly rush out of the car to council her. “I mean, it’s a lot of snow, it’d stop anything. It’s normal, I promise.”
Chrysalis growled as she began stomping around on the snow. “I don’t care if it’s normal! We should have plowed right through it! How did this much snow even get here?!”
“Hmmm…” Fluttershy flew up and landed beside Chrysalis as she took a look around. The snowbank was actually quite long and thick, and the location you all had driven too was a road leading north towards, most likely, Manehatten. Fluttershy looked up at the sky, and there were barely any clouds. It seemed like the snow built up in this one spot for no discernable reason. “She is kind of right, Anon. This isn’t normal. There wasn’t any news or schedules for it snowing down in this one particular spot. It seems so random”
“Thank you!” Chrysalis said as she pointed towards Fluttershy, giving you an annoyed stare. “See? Even she knows something is wrong.”
“There is certainly something amiss, but I’d also appreciate if you don’t scold Anon. This isn’t his fault. I have really liked your company so far, Chrysalis. I love your enthusiasm. But please, please, don’t be so mean. I think we should just calm down, and maybe drive somewhere else.” Fluttershy suggested, defending you while trying to diffuse the situation.
“We already wasted too much time with this! You don’t seem to understand that I actually… Yes, actually wanted us to have a nice pleasant drive set to a decent time limit. So I have every right to be angry at whatever pegasus pony decided it’d be a bright idea to drop all this snow here! I think I’d actually be doing Equestria a favor by removing them from existence. Think about it, the roads would be clear for everypony if they were gone.” Chrysalis growled, still angry as she stomped about the snowbank, looking upwards for any signs of a pegasus pony.
“No, destroying anypony is bad, remember? And we don’t even know if pegasi had anything to do with this. And even if they did, I bet it was probably an accident.” Fluttershy said, hovering in front of Chrysalis, and again attempted to calm her down. “I really am having a very lovely time being your passenger, I promise. Come on, let’s just go and relax, and maybe go back and have some of that pie. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
“Oh! That does sound nice! Can I come too!? Please, please!?” Said a voice coming from right next to Chrysalis, a very joyous voice.
Chrysalis was starting to realize she was throwing a temper tantrum over snow. Even she realized how bad of a look that was. “Mnngh, thinking about it now, my behavior does seem childish. I guess I’m sounding like a complete bi-ASDFEFSDF” Chrysalis, not noticing at first, suddenly jumps and falls over, sinking into the snow from utter bedazzlement from a certain pink pony suddenly appearing out of nowhere. “WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!”
“Oh, I was just getting more snow since I used all the snow around here to make my even biggerer snowpony to beat my world record. But I think I got lost because I can’t find it anywhere, only this big pile of snow where it used to be.” Pinkie said as she turned over and looked at the car. “Ooohh! Now that’s the neatest taffy machine I’ve ever seen! Can I try it out, huh huh huh?!”
“Pinkie?!” Both you and Fluttershy shouted in surprise.
“Well, yeah, that’s my name. How is your family thingy going? Oh, hey! Is this Chrysalis’s taffy machine?” Pinkie looked to Chrysalis with a wide smile. “Do you mind if I try some? I never had changeling taffy before! “
Oh god no… “Pinkie… This may n-” But you were interrupted as Chrysalis burst from the snow in furious anger, snow piles dropping everywhere, including on your face. Fluttershy being blown away from being in proximity from the snow burst.
“You! You did this! Of course it’d be the annoying pink one! Do you have any idea who you are talking to?! You better answer wisely, because it most likely will be the last thing you’ll ever say.” Chrysalis said, furious as all hell.
“Well, I think I’m talking to Chrysalis, unless you’re not her but another changeling who looks like her. But since Nonny and Fluttershy are here, then you’re probably her.” Pinkie said cheerfully before slinking to Chrysalis’s side and giving her a nudge on her side as she whispers. “And your taffy machine is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen ever! It’s so sleek and neat, it makes me feel like it can make the sweetest taffy in Equestria. I should have known that the queen would get the bestest stuff.”
Chrysalis’s eye twitched, as she went from anger to utter confusion. “Taffy machine?! How in Tartarus is that a taffy machine?! Explain that to me this instant!”
Pinkie looked at it again, and rubbed her chin, narrowing her eyes at it. “Well, its got the four wheels, and all the doohickys inside, and its making a whirring noise from the front like a taffy machine does. If it’s not a taffy machine, what else can it be?”
“It’s a car, you fool! It is my chariot of fear and destruction! It isn’t, and will never be, a stupid taffy machine!” Chrysalis yelled at her as her horn began to glow a ghastly green “You better give me a good reason not to bury you where you stand.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to be buried in the snow, silly. It’s cold.” Pinkie hopped over to the car and gave it another look over, then nodded happily. “So it’s a car chariot thingy? Gotta say, it looks cooler than Princess Celestia’s. You didn’t make this to make her jealous, did you? Because I could super see her being jealous of this thing. Oh, Luna too! Luna has a pretty neat chariot, but this one has that edge that hers doesn’t have. It doesn’t even look like it needs pegasi to pull it. You better not let Twilight see this, she’d do all her sciency stuff on it just to see how it works.” Pinkie said as she nodded again. “Yup, even Rarity would say this is the most stylish chariot she’s ever seen.”
Chrysalis was silent, her horn’s glow slowly dimming as she suddenly smirked. “Jealousy, you say? You really think my car is that good? You’re being genuine?”
Pinkie nodded profusely “Mhmm! And you had to be going pretty fast to make my snowpony disappear. It’s gone! There’s no trace of it at all! I bet you sent it flying into the sky. I wish we had this when Tirek attacked, we could have smacked him all the way back to Tartarus with this before he ever had a chance to hurt somepony.”
“You think so? I hadn’t even considered that, really. Hm…?” Chrysalis saw sparkles coming from herself, and from the car, everything was already starting to return back to her basement. “Pink one, it seems I must be going. But since I have your attention, I have a question for you.”
“A question for me? Sure! I’ve always wanted to answer questions for royalty! Its part of my super duper big list of things I want to do!” Pinkie said excitingly.
Chrysalis smiled warmly at that, she felt a sense of respect to still be referred to as ‘royalty’ without any sarcasm behind it. “Your friend, Twilight Sparkle. Would you say she tries too hard when it comes to friendship? I’m just curious, and you seem to be genuine with your answers.”
“Mmmm…” Pinkie began to ponder on the question for a bit. “I guess that depends. Sometimes she tries too hard, but then sometimes she tries waaaayyyyyy too hard. Sometimes she tries so hard she goes a little nutty. Does that answer your question?”
“It does. Thank you for the answer, and goodbye.” Chrysalis said with a nod as you, her, Fluttershy, and the car returned back to the basement.
“Chrysalis! Don’t… What?! What happened?! Where are we?!” You said as you fumbled about, not realizing where you were or what had happened.
“Chrysalis? Please! Don’t be angry.. With… Um, are we back at your home?” Fluttershy asked as she looked around, confused.
“We are, and don’t worry, I didn’t harm a single hair on the pink one’s head. Quite the opposite, actually. She has such good taste and an eye for power. She even gave me a reason to send a letter to Princess Celestia.” Chrysalis said gleefully.
Wut? “What? Wha? Wait, what? So you didn’t get mad at Pinkie?”
“And you want to write a letter to Princess Celestia? Oh? You must have learned a big big lesson about friendship! Was it about forgiveness? Please, tell us! I am excited to know what you learned!” Fluttershy said, ecstatic with how events seemed to have played out.
“Oh, I certainly learned something. As for what I plan to write her. Well, I certainly don’t plan to write how I have confirmation that she was completely incompetent in training her pupil and turned her into a deranged friendship dictator with an addiction to her own ego that perfectly reflects how much of a failure she truly is as a teacher. Oh yes, I’d also like to have a taffy machine. You’ll be happy to learn that I want to send a present of delicious candy to the pink one for her little ‘lesson’.” Chrysalis said with a happy little titter.
Fluttershy just nodded with a grin. “Well, I’m glad you’re not going to write that. And I’d be happy to get you a taffy machine, you can consider it a heartwarming gift.”
You just slapped your face. You have no fucking clue what just happened. You have no fucking clue how she didn’t end up killing Pinkie. And you absolutely do not want to know what she plans to do with the taffy machine.
Chrysalis was clearing some of the snow chunks that still remained on the hood of her car as Fluttershy, by your suggestion, went to retrieve both Discord and the pie. Chrysalis was fine with it, as long as Discord didn’t follow her up to retrieve said pie. She didn’t trust him walking through her home, which surprised you, as she trusted Fluttershy enough to grab the pie. “I’m fine, Anon. Now how about asking a question that isn’t so patronizing? I’m not a foal.”
“S-sorry, I… I just, y’know, am glad to see everything is working out.” You said, grimacing at your previous wording.
Chrysalis shoves a wad of ice off her car as she sighs. “Of course it’s working out, I’d say it’s working better than I expected it would. The only pony who doesn’t seem to have any faith in this whole thing is you. But I can’t blame you, really, Discord really could have ruined things by being the petulant foal he usually is.”
“Aw, c’mon, he’s not that bad. He’s j… Wait, so you were already expecting this to go okay? W-wait, hold on, let me rephrase that. Chrysalis, are you saying you actually want to be friends with Fluttershy? And, er, maybe Discord?” No way, did she actually...?
“Anon, I agreed to all of this for a reason. I’ve told you that being evil has lost its allure. To tell you the truth, part of me has become curious about the ‘power’ and ‘magic’ of friendship. And the other part of me wonders what it’d be like to have a few pony friends, at least a few competent and non-annoying ones. Fluttershy has proven herself to at least have good taste, and more importantly, she doesn’t infuriate me. I guess with her, I don’t mind her genuine attitude. Of course, it is still too early to say anything, she could still end up pissing me off at one point.” Chrysalis said as she flicked off the last bit of snow. “There we are.”
Woah… “That’s amazing though! I’m really happy you’re having a good time!” You said, hopping about excitingly. “This means you’ll be able to make a bunch of new friends!”
Chrysalis gagged at those words, so revolted she actually bonks you on the head to get you to stop hopping about. “Do you mind not sounding so pathetic! How about you stop treating this like some mission and just accept that you obtained your goal. I swear, you actually sound like Twilight Sparkle! I’m fine with being friends with Fluttershy, but I’m not going to go out of my way to make extra friends. Need I remind you that Princess Celestia no doubt is monitoring me in some way and is probably relishing in the thought of seeing me transform like the others? I don’t want to give her the satisfaction.”
Despite the fact she bopped you, you still can’t help but feel pretty enthusiastic about it as you stare at her with a grin, wagging your tail. “C’moooon, relax. Would it be that bad transforming at this point? You’d still be you.”
“Can you say that about my forsaken brood?” Chrysalis asked, with an icy stare.
Oof, welp, there goes the enthusiasm. “Erm… Um, erm… No, I guess there’s the whole pussifcation thing. But, buuuuuuut, you said you were interested in the ‘magic’ and ‘power’ of friendship. Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to make more friends?”
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to. When I said extra friends, I mean friends for the sake of having friends. When it comes to Discord’s little O&O group, it’s going to have to be a certainty.” Chrysalis explained.
Wut? “Wait, so you are serious about that?”
Chrysalis shrugged. “The thought isn’t that awful when you think about it. Discord gets annoyed but can’t do anything about it, I maintain being evil in some capacity, and I can maintain my ability to play the roles I need to play. As long as the group he plays with doesn’t frustrate me, I’m willing to befriend them. Who exactly are they, anyway?”
“Oh, well, there’s Spike, I’m sure you remember him. Big M- Wait.” Hold on a second. “I thought you said the allure of evil has been lost on you.”
Chrysalis sighed and bopped you again. “Hush, and just tell me who my new ‘friends’ are going to be.”
Sheesh, geez! Usually your head was nearly invulnerable, but somehow she was able to smack it in a way that still stung. “Geez, fine. God, I mean, do you mind not slapping me around, at least?”
Chrysalis just stared at you with a bored stare as she rolled her hoof along to get you to hurry up.
Welp, it seems no matter what, Chrysalis will always be, in some way, Chrysalis. “Fine… Like I said, there’s Spike. There’s also Big Mac, Applejack’s brother. And I think Scootaloo is part of the group now, she’s-”
Chrysalis interrupts you as she waves her hoof boredly. “Yes, yes, I remember who she is. Spike, hm? The dragon pet Twilight has? Interesting. But this Big Mac, hm, which one is Applejack again?”
“The farm mare with the cowboy hat.” You say.
“Eugh, so he’s a farm pony? Never mind having the game in my manor. I wasn’t too worried about Discord’s shenanigans since I could just go to Fluttershy to have him wrangled in, but I’m not going to let a farm pony track his dirt and mud in my home.” Chrysalis said with disgust, before something dawned on her curiously. “Wait, so, where were they having their sessions then? It certainty can't be Fluttershy's home, it's too small. I can only think of one other place big enough to fit that group.”
“Twilight’s castle? Oh no, Chrysalis, I can already see where this is going.” You said with a groan.
“Would it be so bad, Anon? Besides, and this may surprise you, but I’d like to have a few debates with our friendship-minded princess. From everything I gathered, everything seems like her way or the highway with her, and there’s a few things I’ve learned over the course of this whole back and forth we’ve had that I want to challenge her on. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t want to see me have words with her over the concept of friendship, would you? I do have at least four and a half seasons I can sift through of her little adventures to pick up on some counter points.” Chrysalis said as she gave you an evil grin.
You just put a hoof to your face as you shook your head. “I am somehow getting the feeling that you’re going to be even more evil with the magic of friendship behind you.”
Chrysalis laughed evilly as she nudged at you. “Oh, come on! The Anon I know would have loved to see her writhe. At least I’m not trying to put her in the ground. I promise not to be too much of a prude about the whole roleplaying thing, but getting under Twilight’s skin needs to be done. It's a justified form of revenge, so to speak.”
…It would be pretty funny seeing Twilight have a mental breakdown over a debate like that. You’ve kept Chrysalis informed on a few things about Twilight in the past, but her having at least four and a half seasons of content would up her game? That'd be some shit. You had to wonder, actually, if you could somehow obtain the rest of the show. It probably ended at season five, but you never know. “Okay, I admit, it could be pretty damn funny.”
Chrysalis let out a giddy girlish chuckle as she gave you a gentle rub on the head. “That’s my little Anon. Hm? Ah, seems Fluttershy has retrieved the pie and her fool. Watch this.”
“...Yes, Fluttershy, I get that. But I’m not the only one who may have a problem with it. You must remember that there’s still Spike, Big Mac, and now Scootaloo to consider. Heavens, what will Twilight think of Spike being somewhat alone in a place like this?” Discord said as he walked beside Fluttershy.
Fluttershy just continued her stride as she looked to the both of you with a smile, never turning her head towards Discord. “I understand your concern, but you can ask them if they’re alright with it, can’t you? And if it is a problem… Well.” Fluttershy stopped in front of Chrysalis, and gave her a confident yet cheery look. “Chrysalis, I know this is such a sudden question. But you wouldn’t mind going to Twilight’s castle for the O&O sessions, would you? If it’ll make things easier, I can certainly ask Twilight if it’d be allowed.”
Chrysalis almost brandished a fiendish smirk, but instead gave a polite smile as she nodded. “That sounds alright with me. In fact, thinking about it, I believe that’d be better than my idea.”
Discord, saying nothing, reeled back his head in shock on how easy Chrysalis gave in to the suggestion.
Fluttershy just cheered it on as she held up the pie. “Yay! I knew we could come to a compromise. Now come on, let’s all have some delicious, yummy pie.”
Although there were no seating arrangements, all but Fluttershy were perfectly capable of just sitting down on the floor and using a form of telekinesis to keep the pie slices suspended in midair as you all chowed down. Discord, being as polite as ever for Fluttershy, merely produced a floating plate for Fluttershy to easily reach for with the pie placed on top as he made sure she was comfy with a pillow on the bottom. Discord even used his magic to reheat the pie as if it had just come out and cooled from the oven.
“This almost seems like an opportunity to show off some human television. Though, I'd rather not lose my place with my painting tapes, still on a bit of a thing with it.” Chrysalis remarks as she takes a bite of the pie. “Hmmmm, pretty alright.”
“Oh, that’s alright, we wouldn’t want you to lose your place. Speaking of, Chrysalis, have you ever thought of making a few paintings to submit to a gallery? I really do mean it when I say that you have an amazing talent for it.” Fluttershy said as she took a bite of her slice.
“Hm, never thought about it, really. Maybe one day, for… Reasons. Ah, actually, since we’re going to be doing a round of questioning, there is something that has been nagging at me. It isn’t too important, but it is quite curious.” Chrysalis said.
“What is that?” Fluttershy asked.
“You and Discord. I can sense something between you two, even taste it. You have to tell me, are you two lovers? I have t-” But Chrysalis, and well, everyone is interrupted as Discord literally explodes into dust and sparkles at the mere mention of the word 'lovers'.
“Geez! Welp, he exploded again.” You said as you used the magic of your horn to catch Fluttershy’s, your’s, and Chrysalis’s slice of pie. “I can’t even count how many times that’s happened.” You said as you placed Fluttershy’s slice back on her plate, and held Chrysalis’s slice towards her.
“Explode? Why would he… Oh.” Chrysalis realized it, she caught Fluttershy in a quick blush as well, but chose to say nothing about it. “I see. Well, I’ll just take his slice then.” Chrysalis said as she grabbed both her’s and Discord’s slice with her magic.
“I’m v-very sorry about that, Chrysalis. It isn’t his fault, erm, Discord just gets kind of… Erm, excitable about, um, those kinds of questions.” Fluttershy interjected in a blushy panic.
Chrysalis could see he wasn’t the only one who got flustered over such a question, and it made her just want to ask something about it. But then Chrysalis looked over to you for a moment, and you tried to make a gesture to just cut the line of questioning, for Fluttershy’s sake. At this point, you knew there was a thing, they just wouldn’t admit it. Surprisingly, Chrysalis chose to act on your gesture. “It’s quite alright, I would expect it from him. I did live with him once, I know how he works.”
“R-right, I almost forgot about that.” Fluttershy said as she gulped and tapped at her hooves. “Annnyyyway, erm, so… Human things. You know, despite taking in Anon as my nephew, I actually realized I don’t know much about humans other than they seem to have had a society close to how we live. Isn’t that right, Anon?”
“Erm, yeah? Kinda. Humans are more advanced tech wise, we just didn’t have any magic. You could also say humans were much more extreme than ponies are. Let’s just say if somepony like Tirek attacked us, he wouldn’t have lasted a second.” You explain.
Chrysalis snickered at that, “Perhaps even less than that. Humans are such fascinating creatures. Much more unpredictable than ponies, and even more curious as well. They don’t have cutie marks to dictate their skills, and some have so many skills it’d put even Equestria’s best to shame. It is so respectable that I even like the ones in history that would be deemed ‘good’ in pony eyes. Oh, and their technology… They can do anything, and have gone much further than anypony has with magic. Yes, humans can’t cast spells or summon creatures and the like, but their homes, their way of producing cinema, their weapons, their ways of travel, everything really...” Chrysalis was nearly swooning at this point. “It overwhelms even me.” Chrysalis then turns her head towards you and gives you a gentle pat. “I do have to thank Anon for introducing me to it all.”
You nearly blushed at that. Maybe she was hamming it up, but you felt since it was human stuff, she was being genuine. “Hey, it’s no trouble, really. I’m just glad I have somepony to share human stuff with. The only other friend I have I can talk about it with is Starlight, and even then, it can’t be about everything.”
“Is it because of the scarier stuff? I know humans have a lot of scary things they do, and, erm, they have wars. Very very scary wars.” Fluttershy said as she began to shiver, lowering her ears. She had been told about the brain bug scene, though in very vague detail. And yet it was still enough to give her the willies.
“Oh, trust me, scary doesn’t even begin to describe it. But I’ll tell you one thing. Even when things look bleak, they have heroes that will make strides across the battlefield. I can tell the thought upsets you, but whenever you gather up the nerve, I’d suggest you watch the documentary ‘Starship Troopers’. You’ll at least see why somepony like Tirek would be annihilated on the spot.” Chrysalis coo’d again. “Given everything I know now, I know I could easily blend in with the humans and travel the stars, destroying all in my path. I think I could even join the Roughnecks.” She then sighs to herself as she reels herself back to reality. “Ah well, a girl can dream.”
“W-well, erm, I did hear the humans were fighting, erm, very scary bugs. Was there really no way they couldn’t talk it out with them to reach some sort of peace?” Fluttershy asked.
“Erm, Aunt Fluttershy, um. Kinda no, well, very no. The Klandathu bugs are kinda just, well, they’ll kinda… Y’know.” You make a slicing noise as you slide your hoof along your neck.
Fluttershy’s ears folded once more as she lowered her head in worry. “O-oh…”
Now Chrysalis started to show some annoyance. Either she felt insulted Fluttershy seemed too scared of human history, or she was just annoyed with her timidness in general. “Come now, Fluttershy, how could you be so scared? Aren’t you an element of harmony? Even if they're not up to human standards, you must have gone through many a horror to get to where you are today. You tamed Discord! Who, at the height of his villainous career, was actually something to fear. It is just a documentary, there is no way those bugs even exist today. Isn’t that right, Anon?”
“Erm, yeah, they definitely don’t exist today. They were destroying our, er, planet. They had to go.” You say, a little timid yourself, over her sudden attitude shift and the fact that it is actually just a movie. A movie you hope Chrysalis never finds out is actually just that, a movie.
“See? Anon, for how boorish and stupid he can be, understands they needed to be wiped o-” But suddenly Chrysalis is stopped. When Fluttershy heard those words, she suddenly stood up, right in front of Chrysalis, and gave her a very intense stare.
“Now you see here. For the longest time, I have heard some negative things about Anon that just makes me so so mad. I’ve heard him be called dumb, and careless, and evil, and even really mean things like saying he can’t be empathetic. It got to him really bad one time, and he had a very scary hallucination that made him do scary things. And now, to hear you say that about him? That makes me really really mad because you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends! He almost was gone forever because of you! So don’t call him stupid, or boorish! He’s a very nice, polite, and good colt! And I never want to hear such mean words about him again, is that clear?” Fluttershy said, unwavering and stern as hell. “I don’t care who you are, I can be pretty mean too if I have to be!”
Chrysalis said nothing, her eyes slowly shifting to you. You just… Sorta shrugged. What the fuck could you say about the situation? Chrysalis just stared at Fluttershy as she pondered. She then smiled and nodded. “You’re right. He isn’t stupid, nor boorish, if he managed to get this far. For all his short-comings, he really is one impressive ‘colt’. I apologize.”
….Woah
Even Fluttershy was caught off guard. She just blinked in confusion for a moment, but then she slowly began to smile, and nodded happily. “It’s alright. But please, be nicer to him? He’s gone through so much.” Fluttershy walked over to you and brought you close, hugging you like a plush doll. “Anon works so very hard, everyday, to make things better for everypony else. We’re all here, right now, thanks to him. So please, I mean it, don’t treat him badly.”
D-dammit, Fluttershy… It was as soothing as it was embarrassing. You couldn’t tell how seriously Chrysalis was taking her. And you were hoping Fluttershy wasn't losing points with her either. But for Chrysalis to even refer to you as stupid at this moment, she must have felt things had become more casual, and just let it slip.
“I understand. In fact…” Chrysalis suddenly began to applaud Fluttershy.
Wut?
“Huh? Why are you clapping?” Fluttershy asked.
“You stood up to me, a queen. That’s probably as close as I’m going to get with you in terms of bravery, but I’ll take it. I suppose that’s where your success comes from, those bursts of bravado. In fact, that explains Discord. You formed a bond with him, one which he’s afraid to break, and one you’ll never let him abuse, knowingly or otherwise. I can see why you are in love with him.” Chrysalis said.
Fluttershy blushed an even deeper red as she accidently drops you. “HUH?! I-Um… Like I said, erm…”
“It’s alright, you don’t have to explain it. Who knows? I could even be reading you wrong. Either way, I have found this visit both enlightening and amusing. Come, follow me upstairs. I want to show you at least one episode of this Bob Ross person and I want to hear what you think. Then you can leave. Is that fine with you?” Chrysalis asked Fluttershy.
Fluttershy, still flustered and bewildered, only lets out a “U-um… Okay.”
“Good. Because, I’m telling you, I don’t know what it is. But this man just has a way with words. I just need a second opinion to see if maybe I’ve gone a little hermit crazy or not.” Chrysalis said as she began to lead both you and Fluttershy upstairs.
Well… It happened. It… It actually happened. Chrysalis is friends with Fluttershy. The big step was finally made. Holy fuck, you’re actually glad Discord exploded. You love the guy but goddamn, you just didn’t think, even if he tried his best, that he would have been able to contain himself the entire visit.
Fuck… Your nerves were shot. Even though you didn’t like it, you needed some tea after all this.
Chapter 255 - The Joy of ASMR, and the Worry of a Bug's Heart.
“See what I mean? The way he speaks, the way his brushes scrape across his easel and glides across the canvas. All of it creates such a, and I hate to use the words together, heavenly sensation. I swear, for the longest time, I felt pretty insane on how I could find this man so calming and soothing.” Chrysalis said, sitting on her living room couch as she pointed at the television.
Fluttershy’s ears did seem to flick and twitch at the sounds and speech of Bob Ross, it seemed to have the same profound effect on her that it did on Chrysalis. “W-well, you’re definitely not crazy. I can hear it too, it honestly makes me want to sit outside on a beautiful day and enjoy the sounds of nature.” Fluttershy then let out a giggle "And, of course, stare at all the happy little clouds.”
You weren’t exactly having as much fun as Chrysalis and Fluttershy were. More so, you were just enjoying them getting along. You never really got Bob Ross too much. Sure, you can sit down and watch from time to time. But all night? Geez. “Wait, you said for the longest time? Didn’t you say you started watching yesterday?”
“Anon, this man here makes it feel like you sat through an eternity of smooth vibrations, so what I said still applies.” Chrysalis said with a huff. “Since you’re going to spit frivolous details at me, why don’t you explain to me and your aunt what exactly this sound phenomenon is?”
“Oh, yes, Anon, I’d really like to know. I just can’t stop watching him paint those cute little trees by the lake. I think I could watch this all day. It almost feels like I’m under some sort of spell, but that’d be silly, I already know humans can’t do magic.” Fluttershy said with a cute giggle.
“Trust me, they don’t need to with the kind of technology they have. So, Anon, out with it already. What do you call this amazing sound technology he is so obviously using” Chrysalis said, waving her hoof at you to proceed.
Hn, you really couldn’t explain it yourself, to be honest. You do remember it having a name. “I think they call it ASMR. It is just supposed to be the explanation as to why certain sounds make you feel all tingly and good.”
“A-S-M-R, hm? And what do those letters mean, exactly? Because your explanation didn’t really explain anything. We can already hear that it is soothing, what I want to know is the ‘why’ and 'how'.” Chrysalis said to you.
You just shrugged. "I dunno"
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at you, annoyed. “You’re a great wealth of knowledge” Chrysalis said sarcastically.
“Hey, I never really looked that deeply into it, gimme a break. I have one last charge, I can probably use it to look it up.” You retorted.
“Don’t bother. I know you well enough that you need every charge you have in case you get yourself into danger.” Chrysalis retorted back. Though that retort caused Fluttershy to look at Chrysalis with a smile.
“Awww, that’s a very sisterly worry to have, Chrysalis. And I agree, I’d rather Anon have his magic to use in case something bad happens. I don’t like that he always seems to find himself in some sort of trouble or danger…” Fluttershy then stops for a moment, then sighs. “Alright, I never like it when I find out he’s in danger. And it just seems to happen at random. So, yes, Anon, please, save your magic for when it is important.”
Wut? “Hey, it isn’t like I’m in danger everyday! C’mon, when was the last time something really bad happened to me?”
Fluttershy stopped to give it some thought. “Well, you somehow ended up walking right on the racing trail for the running of the leaves and ended up getting stepped over by every racer. Oh, there was also the time Twilight was foalsitting Princess Flurry Heart and she accidentally sent you flying out of the castle. Oh, and then there was last week when you fell through the snow and got beaten up by those angry moles.”
“Angry moles?” Chrysalis slapped her hoof over her face, actually feeling embarrassed for you. “Anon, please tell me you didn’t get slapped around by moles. “
“Erm, well, uh, they certainly didn’t slap me. Eheh…” God, it was a moment that would live down in infamy. Hopefully something that no story ever goes into detail about.
“And this is what I’m talking about. Look, somepony needs to bash into that orichalcum dense skull of his that he needs to retain at least one charge a day in case he haphazardly does something stupid, like walk into a cactus or something.” Chrysalis said, her tone becoming motherly yet stern as she pointed at Fluttershy. “Doesn’t that pink pony have some dumb unbreakable promise thing? Why don’t you make him do one of those so he doesn’t have to be in danger all the time? I swear, nopony is going to like me if something happens to this imbecile!”
At first, Fluttershy was shocked Chrysalis would use such language. But then she realized something. Something that Chrysalis could now never take back. A feeling within her that could not be misinterpreted as bad or deceitful. Something that represents true friendship and love. And Chrysalis could see that Fluttershy may have realized it.
Chrysalis slowly reeled back, looking at Fluttershy weirdly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Well, I would be mad over you calling Anon a name. But I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you worry about him without something bad happening to him yet. Now I think you only call him those things not because of any evil tendency, but because you just don’t want him to make any mistakes that can get him hurt and you feel very strongly over his well-being. Erm, even though I’d rather you use much nicer words, it is really sweet.” Fluttershy said with a warm smile.
Chrysalis was actually taken aback by such words. But she also seemed a little annoyed with the way it was presented to her. “I-I see… Well, I wouldn’t put it that way, but you’re right that I do care about him. But you already knew that, right? So, are all you ponies going to be this patronizing about my ‘reformation’? Why can’t you just acknowledge my actions silently? It isn’t that big a deal.”
Fluttershy’s ears folded a bit, she certainly didn’t mean to patronize Chrysalis. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to sound so patronizing. Does it really bother you that much?”
Chrysalis nodded. “It does. But I’ll forgive it this time, it just seems to be pony nature. Besides, I suppose I can’t be too upset when Bob Ross here is doing such a good job keeping things tranquil.” Chrysalis said as she looked over at the tv again as Bob Ross began to paint a little cabin by a lake. “So, are you going to forgive me for what I said about Anon?” Chrysalis asked. You’d think she’d be too prideful to even mention it, but she really meant what she said, she’s doing her best to get along.
“Well, I can, but I really am asking to be more mindful. Anon doesn’t seem to mind it, but I really think saying those kinds of things to him doesn’t help at all, no matter how much you care about him. Hurtful words can really ruin a friendship.” Fluttershy said.
“Well…” You take the opportunity to jump onto the couch next to Chrysalis’s side and rub up against her as you smile at her. “I know she doesn’t really mean it. Right, sis? We’re the best of friends, and I know deep down, she really loves me.” Why were you doing this all of a sudden? Easy, you felt now was a good time to test her friendship with you in front of Fluttershy. If all went well, Chrysalis would be good natured about it and all would be right with the world. And okay, you did want to tease her some because she always gets away with insulting you.
“Awww.” Fluttershy was beside herself with how cute you looked nuzzling into Chrysalis. “See? Why would you ever want to say those kinds of things to Anon when he’s so sweet and affectionate.”
Chrysalis just stared into empty space with disgust as she lowly growled. “I haven’t the faintest idea.”
“C’mon, you shouldn’t be worried about me that much.” You hopped off the couch and posed cooly in front of the two. “I still got my Starlight hook to get me out of trouble.”
“Moles, Anon… Moles” Chrysalis repeated.
“Erm, well, I mean real trouble.” Dammit…
“Well, Anon, Chrysalis does have a point. I wouldn’t want you to use your hook on otherwise friendly animals. That’s wrong. Remember, sometimes these things happen because you aren’t careful enough, and you accidentally make a few of the animals angry at you.” Fluttershy reminded you.
“Oh, yes, Anon. I agree with her. You can’t go hurting the innocent animals. If you make a family of kittens angry, I’m afraid you'd come back to me in pieces.” Chrysalis said with a sudden cruel grin.
“Oh no, especially not kittens. They’re just babies and don’t know any better.” Fluttershy added.
Ugh, okay. Geez, Chrysalis’s vengeance still hurts, even if it was just words. “Alright, I get it. I’ll be super duper careful with my charges then.”
Chrysalis let out a chuckle as she relaxed herself on the couch. “Good, glad you see it my way.” Chrysalis then noticed the episode was already nearly over, and decided it was time to be alone with her own paintings. “Well, I want you both out now. It’s changeling girl time, and last time I checked, neither of you are changelings.”
Fluttershy giggled and stood up from the couch, looking at Chrysalis with a smile. “Thank you, Chrysalis. I had a very lovely time, I actually wish we could have driven around in your car for a little while longer, it was very exciting, yet soothing.”
“Yes, yes, me and my things are great.” Chrysalis said with a dismissive wave, looking away from her for a moment before actually giving her a smirk. “And I’m surprised I had a good time as well. Not the best time, but a good time. I got exactly what I wanted from Discord, and my time with you didn’t feel like a waste. All I ask is if you do come by again, expand your palette a little more. I’m still a queen, and I can only stand so much having to deal with the ‘pony point of view’.”
“I’ll do my best. But just remember, please be nicer to Anon. You’d be surprised how a little kindness can go a long way.” Fluttershy reminded her.
Chrysalis looked away from her again, her eyes shifting to her for just a moment before she waved her away.
Hey! “So, hey, aren’t you going to say bye to me at least? It almost feels like I got left out.”
Chrysalis’s eyes shifted to you, then back to Fluttershy for a moment, then back to you as she let out a sigh. “Goodbye, Anon. Remember what I told you about your magic.” Chrysalis finally turned to look at you, and pointed at you as she suddenly became so stern. “I’m serious. Don’t just tell us you’ll do it, just do it. Prove at least that much and maybe I’ll respect you a little more.” Fluttershy looked back at Chrysalis in shock, but Chrysalis stood her ground this time. “You heard me. He needs to take his safety more seriously. Equestria is full of villains who somehow don’t realize they’d bring the end of everything, including themselves. And given how peaceful things have been, we’re about due for one. Don’t argue with me, there just seems to be some pattern to these things.”
Chrysalis suddenly seemed so bothered by your safety, was it what Fluttershy had told her? “Chrysalis, are you really that worried about me? I mean, I don’t want you to be bothered by this, y’know? You know I’ll be okay. C’mon, don’t let it ruin the visit.”
“I’m not letting it, it’s just Fluttershy sort of put things a little more into perspective. And with that, you both can leave. I’m not going to explain my feelings any more.” Again Chrysalis waved you both away, but she also realized her attitude as well, and added. “And don’t think I’m upset! Or that worried. I’m not a pony, and I’m not pathetic.”
Fluttershy simply nodded again. “We don’t think that. But, thank you again, we had a lovely time, and we thank you for your concern. C’mon, Anon.” Fluttershy said as she gently hurried you along, only taking a moment to look back at Chrysalis. She was still happy that she really had reformed, but she also now realized when it came to friendship, perhaps she really was to you as Discord was to her. She wanted to say something about it, just something that would brighten her day, but she kept it to herself.
As for you, you could see it as well. But you were confident with yourself. You had improved yourself, of course, you have proven that. You were never going to idiotically walk into a villain’s trap, or let yourself be manipulated anymore.
“So you flaked out, huh?” You said as you began to place a toy train into a gift box.
It was the next day, and you were asked to help wrap gifts to send to less fortunate foals all around Equestria by Fluttershy back at Twilight's castle. Fluttershy herself had been in a good mood since yesterday, pretty damn happy that everything went alright with Chrysalis and had seriously been trying to figure out what she would like as a Hearthwarming gift, and so she felt it'd be nice if you contributed to some of the holiday cheer yourself. The castle itself was already mostly decorated for the festivities, with a large tree set beside the cutie map.
“Dude, c’mon, can you blame me? You can’t just ask me to go see Chrysalis all of a sudden. It doesn’t matter if it’s for O&O. Actually, that’s the thing, that’s a bad idea! Look, I get it, even your aunt likes her now, but it’s too soon for me.” Spike said as he was wrapping one of the gifts he was working on, until he suddenly froze for a moment and looked back at you. “...And, uh, erm. Look, bro, she isn’t gonna come at me for not showing up, right?”
You sighed. “No, Spike, she already expected you weren’t really going to show up. But then she kinda gave me this rant that she didn’t really want to play anyway, but also that she would be great at it, and that you’re all afraid of how good she’d be. But then she told me she would be wasting her talent. And then told me that it would have been a talent to behold... I actually think she was upset about you not showing up.”
Spike flinched for a moment, before going back to wrap up another toy. “Well, you know, I mean… Okay, now I sound like a jerk. C’mon, Anon, last time I saw her, I was getting my arm broken by some weird skeleton thing that was supposed to be you. I sometimes still feel it, y’know?” Spike said as he held on to his arm.
It was hard to argue that. Spike really didn’t have a reason to give Chrysalis a seat at the O&O sessions. “Yeah… I get it. So, did Dad mention anything to Big Mac and Scootaloo at all? I can’t imagine them being too big on the idea either.”
“I didn’t get a chance to ask Scootaloo, but I did went and asked Big Mac about it.” Spike said.
He asked him, already? “You did?”
“I mean, yeah. Your Dad wants it to happen, and trust me, I know why, it's his usual flip flop of an ego thing. That’s why I wanted to ask Big Mac, since me and him are the founders of the group. And… Uh…” Spike suddenly stopped, and went back to focusing on his gift wrapping.
“And what?” That kind of hesitation. Big Mac said yes? He’s okay with it?
Spike began to nervously scratch the side of his face. “And, well, he kinda gave this huge speech about how everypony deserves another chance, and that he understands all the work you’ve done to reform her, how Scrappy has told him this and that, and that even Applebloom is pretty much all for Chrysalis being friends with everypony because she had seen how lonely it is to live in that manor.”
Welp… “So he basically said he was okay with it.”
Spike let out a heavy groan as he bent forward in defeat. “Eeyup.”
You had to hide a smile. You didn’t expect Big Mac to be alright with it, but then you did have Applebloom on your side, as well as Scrappy’s love for his mother. “So, let me ask you this. If I asked Scootaloo myself, and she says she’s okay with it, would you be willing to see Chrysalis and give her a chance?” You then gave him big adorable eyes. “It is close to Hearthwarming.”
Spike just shot a half lidded look at you, pointing at you with his claw. “Now you’re playing dirty.”
“I was just asking. Look, we’re buddies, right? Of course I’d be there the whole time. I promise you won’t be hurt. All you gotta do is not insult her, or patronize her. I mean that last part, she does not like being told how good she’s doing on the whole reformation thing.” You say, finishing up another present.
Spike crossed his arms as he looked at you inquisitively. “Is she even good at O&O?”
You shrugged “I mean, Dad didn’t even play the game until he joined you guys and he picked it up just like that, right? Chrysalis has literally spent her life doing roleplay, she’d be a master.”
“A master, huh” Spike gives it some thought for a moment, realizing that it most likely is true given how many roles she actually had to play, but then shakes his head as he comes to his senses. “Woah, but what about her losing her cool if she doesn’t get her way? And doesn’t she hate Twilight? That’d make it a bad idea to bring her over here, you know?”
“Spike, look, I can promise you she isn’t going to cause any harm to anypony, at least outside the game. I really want her to hang out with you guys and bond, but if you really feel that strongly about it, I can just tell her you guys aren’t comfortable with it right now.” You explain to him, tired of trying to convince him. Yes, you knew you were being selfish, but you felt this is what Chrysalis needed. More guys to bond with.
Spike stops for a moment, and gulps nervously. “....You say that as if she’d get revenge on us for not letting her play.”
You look back at Spike with an unamused stare. “You say that as if she’s a monster who still wants revenge.”
“Hey, I… I mean… Dude, you’re making me sound worse and worse here.” Spike said, staring back at you sternly as he crossed his arms.
“No, I just think you’re being irrational.” You retort.
“Irrational?! Anon, bro, c’mon! I get it, she’s your friend. But I’m not ready to just let her into the castle, into our game, and-” But as Spike continued to stand his ground, you got exasperated and just decided to go with plan B.
“I’ll use my horn to bring in a gem as big as Celestia” You tell him.
“...And hey, if you want me to see her tonight, y’know, to see how she works out, then I’m your guy!” Spike said with sudden renewed vigor.
Welp, that worked. Chrysalis, even if she won’t show it, is gonna be pretty thrilled to hear that.
“Thanks, Spike. Uh, I’ll get the gem to you when we’re done wrapping all these gifts. Thanks for reconsidering.” You say, only feeling slightly bad you had to bribe the guy.
“Hey, no problem. What are friends for, right?” Spike asked with a cool grin.
And so, the two of you worked through the morning, getting all the Hearthwarming gifts wrapped. Upon finishing up, Spike pulled out a checklist and began to count out each gift to himself as he checked them off. “Alright, Anon, I got it from here. Thanks for the help, really. Gem or not, I appreciate it, and Twilight is really gonna appreciate it too.”
You smirked to yourself. That actually felt pretty good to hear. “No problem, Spike.” You began to look around. Everything sure looked festive. The tree was nearly decorated, the room had wreaths and lights set up everywhere. It really did remind you of Christmas back home… If it was set in a castle. You slap your horn on your head, and keep your end of the bargain. “It’s for the fillies and the colts of the world, right? It seems like a pretty heroic thing to do to help out with this sort of thing. Anyway, that gem…” You focus your horn, and within moments, a thud is heard as a Celestia-shaped gem is plopped in front of Spike. “There you go!”
“Woah! It looks so delicious! And… Hey, why does it look like Princess Celestia?” Spike said as he hovered towards it and gave it a tap.
“I think my magic took my words literally.” You say with a bit of an embarrassed chuckle.
Spike stared at it a moment more before shrugging. “Whatever, it still looks delicious.”
Well, at least he was pleased. You slowly walk up to him, to remind him of the trade. “And you’re good to see Chrysalis later?”
Spike nodded, and gave you a thumbs up. “Dude, a deal is a deal. Am I still worried? Yeah. But I’m not gonna go back on my word. Just, uh, y’know, stick with me for the whole thing, okay?”
You nod “No problem, Spike. You can count on me.” You were going to have to for this, more for his sanity than anything else. No telling how Chrysalis would actually go about it. Though, now that you thought about it… “Hey, what does Twilight think about you going to see her? Did you tell her?”
“I was gonna, but your aunt kinda told her about her whole experience she had with Chrysalis yesterday when her, Rarity, and Twilight were working on the decorations around the castle. You know Twilight, she thinks it’s a great opportunity to help Chrysalis make more friends, but she also doesn’t want me to go alone. So, y’know, I kinda decided not to go at all. So, uh, since we are going later, I want to make super sure; she’s not gonna snap my head off, right?” Spike asked, looking into your eyes for any deceit.
You shake your head. “I’ll make sure you’ll be okay, Spike. Think about it though, with Chrysalis, you’d have five players total. That’d make your sessions super dynamic.”
Spike smirked at you as he rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to sell me on it, dude, you already got me to agree to give her a chance. Also, we’d be six members if you’d just roll with the punches, in which I mean bad rolls.”
Ugh, this again. You didn’t really need to be in a fantasy world where the dice decide if you win or lose if you already have the power to win everytime. “Look, Spike. Whenever I try to play the game, I always feel some of the ways I fail would never happen in real life. Like, for example, when is the last time I really screwed up or just had really bad luck?”
Spike began to scratch the underside of his chin as he thought. “Well, there was that one time with the moles.”
Yep, you were really glad nobody else would ever get a good long chapter of your life on that one. “...Okay, name something else. C’mon, name onEWFWEWAETWETETA” Suddenly, out of nowhere, you found yourself being dragged across the ground by magic and thrown out through the main hall doors and out of the castle.
“Huh…” Spike said to himself as he stood up and began to casually venture deeper into the castle. “He’s probably gonna be fine, but I better get Twilight, just in case.”
“FDGSDSDGVSDVSDF” You screamed out as you were dragged through the snow and through town at near light speed, other town residents only getting a small glimpse of you as you sped through town. Eventually, you ended up being flung up and hanging by your right hind leg as you heard a familiar voice.
“There, see? Here he is.” Said Discord, dressed in fishing gear, as you hung by his fishing line. “Now leave me be, I’m trying to figure out what to get Fluttershy for Hearthwarming and all you have been doing is wasting my time.”
Wha, huh, GUH?! “Discord?! What the in the f-” Suddenly, you found your lips suddenly becoming zipped up.
“Addressing me by my name? Anon, that is quite the sign of disrespect. Don’t make me spank you in front of your friends.” Discord said with a grin as he pointed towards… Wha? Smolder? Yona? Why were they with Discord? And, looking around, why at the edge of town?
You were so confused, you couldn’t even speak, not like you could right now.
Discord drops you as he begins to walk off with a wave. “Well, you three have fun. Consider this my random contribution to Hearthwarming for the year.”
“Well, that was easy. Uh, hey, Anon. I don’t know what you were doing just now, but we kinda need to talk.” Smolder said, feeling awkward about how quick everything seemed to be.
“Yona don’t think Anon can talk.” Yona said as she stepped up and pointed to your zipper mouth.
You just sat there, annoyed. You wanted to go after Discord, yet you already came to understand why he zipped up your mouth so suddenly. Even more, why did Smolder and Yona seek him out? Or did they just run into him while looking for you? Whatever...
You pointed to the zipper and made motions to pull it open.
Smolder nodded and slowly reached out, freeing your mouth from the teeth of the zipper. “Yep, this kind of stuff is always gonna be weird to me.”
“Ugh…” Okay, Anon, center yourself. Sure, once again you ironically ended up with a stroke of bad luck right after saying that you don’t. But this time was definitely different. Discord randomly doing an act of good will freely? Smolder and Yona must have been looking for you originally, and spotted Discord instead, daring to approach him to bring you over. Whatever it was, it had to be important. “Okay… So, what just happened?”
“You’re used to this kind of stuff happening to you, huh?” Smolder asked, noting how casually you recovered from being dragged across town, before Yona gave her a bop to her side. “Ah! Alright, alright. Ahrm… Anon, uh, we kinda got a problem we really need to talk to you about.”
“A problem? What, is it a Hearthwarming thing?” You asked, wondering if they felt unaccepted or uninvited for the holiday.
Smolder shook her head. “Nah, it’s nothing like that. Yona and I, everycreature really, we’re kinda heading home for it. Except for Gallus, he’s hanging with Sandbar’s family. Remember? We told you we were leaving a week ago.”
Soooo, did they just want to hang out with you then before they left? Well, at least you didn't miss seeing them off. “What’s the problem then? You guys just wanna hang out before you leave?”
Smolder shook her head, and began to look at you with a more serious expression. “No, it isn’t that either. Look, Anon, we think something’s off about that whole Winter Krumb thing.”
Wut? “Winter Krumb? That’s all kinda sudden. Why? What about him?”
“Yona, this was more your thing, mind explaining it to him?” Smolder asked as she looked back at her.
Yona nodded to her. “Yes, Yona will. Anon, do you remember Storm King?”
“Yeah, what about him? Wait, you don’t think that guy is Winter Krumb, do you? That’s impossible, I sent that guy to another dimension. Like, literally, I threw him into a wormhole.” The hell? Why all of this all of a sudden?
“No, we don’t think that. But Yona had been thinking about Jimmy too.” Yona said, which again confused you.
Wut?! “Yona, what? That guy got sent into another dimension too, remember?”
“Yona also know that. Yona was there, remember? No no, Yona thinking… Well, doesn’t Anon think it funny that Cozy Glow have friend that nocreature know?” Yona asked.
…So then, you’re not the only one who had become suspicious of that. But then, you had also tried to push such thoughts out of your mind. There was no chance Cozy Glow would be in contact with another big villain pretending to be her friend. “I do, but are you thinking this guy is some sort of monster or something?”
“We didn’t, but she said something to all of us when her, Gallus, and Sandbar went to see us off at the train station. Which you missed, by the way.” Smolder said as she gave you a bit of a stare.
“H-hey! In my defense, I was kinda dealing with that whole, um, y’know.” You said defensively. Dammit, you did forget to see them off.
“Figured, it’s why we didn’t make a big deal about it… Except for Cozy Glow. And I wasn’t really thinking about it until Yona came to me on the train. Yona, tell him what you told me.” Smolder said.
“Yona notice Cozy Glow very sad that Anon not there to say goodbye, and was very worried Anon not be there for when Winter Krumb arrive. But what made Yona worried is when Cozy Glow say Winter Krumb have big big plans for Hearthwarming and that she’d be very sad if Anon not there to help with that too. Cozy Glow say that Winter Krumb say that it be Hearthwarming nocreature forget.” Yona explained. “It make Yona think about Jimmy’s words. How Jimmy speak weird double speak and trope things. Yona think Winter Krumb using Cozy Glow for something bad.”
“You think so?” So, it was Yona who became suspicious. Seems her short time with you and Jimmy opened up her eyes to some tropes after all. The kind of tropes you saw beforehand and tried to get out of your head. And if even she sees them now… Then…
“It kinda makes sense to me. Think about it. Why would some old guy be that interested in keeping up with a filly, and want to come to Ponyville to see you? Like, specifically you? Princess Twilight lives here, and she never even gets a mention. He’s gotta know about the horn.” Smolder said as she reached over and pointed at your neck.
You’d joke about you being the hero colt, but this was serious. It made sense, and finally you weren’t the only one who saw merit to your suspicions. “Yeah, I thought about all of that too. To be honest, when I was dealing with the Storm King, he told me Cozy Glow was actually the true mastermind behind everything. Or at least alluded to it.”
“Woah, woah, woah. That’s a little too far, don’t you think? Wasn’t that guy crazy or something? Being tricked is one thing, but there is no way Cozy Glow is the one planning all this. Ponies really don’t seem capable of that, at least fillies aren’t. You guys are kinda soft, and she’s basically a marshmallow.” Smolder explained.
“I know, I know. Trust me, I’m not suspecting her. If she was up to something, then we would have known about Winter Krumb way before. The Storm King told me she was partnered with somecreature else and had the staff, and last I checked, she only came in contact with the guy after I sent the Storm King away, and even my dad could never find the staff. But yeah, you really think I’m being set up for a trap or something?” You asked, actually feeling some relief that, now, you weren’t the only one who had suspicions over the whole thing.
Yona and Smolder nodded, then Yona began to speak. “Yona think so, Yona think Anon needs to be careful.”
“And hey, if you think you need our help, then we’re down to stick around. We just need to send some letters back home, and uh, kinda need a place to stay. Gallus and Sandbar are still here so maybe we can stay with them. And if we all explain it to them, then you’d have even more back up.” Smolder explained.
Mmmmm… They were actually worried about you. And Yona, she actually had the same suspicions you did. If only Smolder was here, then that means she was the only one willing to believe it too. Silverstream and Ocellus didn't want to believe it for some reason, or maybe they did, and had to go back home anyway. But even with that, Smolder and Yona are giving up their holiday to try to protect you. No, if this Winter Krumb guy is some sort of villain, you’d be ready for him, you’d save all your charges specifically for him. No mercy the moment he tries to lay a claw or hoof on you or Cozy. “Guys…” You look at both of them with a serious and sincere expression. “Thank you, really. I really mean that. I kinda always felt alone when it came down to these sort of things. Heck, it took forever to have support when it came to Chrysalis. But this? Look, I made a promise to myself not to involve any of my friends. I promised myself not to put you guys in danger. If that guy is a villain, then I’m blasting him right from the get go. No speeches, no hesitation. You guys don’t have to worry about me and Cozy, I got this.”
“Anon, we get it, you’re the ‘Hero Colt’.” Smolder said as she smashed her fist into her palm. “But it isn’t just you we’re protecting. If this guy means business, then that means he’s threatening us dragons too.”
Yona nodded and stomped her hoof “And yaks too! We good friends! We are team! Friends stick together, even if means missing home!”
Ngh... C’mon, this was starting to make you tear up. Keep it together, Anon. “Guys, look. Realistically, there is a chance we all could be wrong, and this is just some old dude. That would mean you guys stuck around for nothing. And even then, my horn can’t come off unless I pull it off myself, so he isn’t getting it. I don’t want you guys to miss a chance to spend Hearthwarming with your friends and family, alright? I got this.”
“And if you don’t?” Smolder asked.
“I will…” You give Smolder a dark glare “Trust me, the stuff I’m capable of is the stuff of nightmares. I’m also not gonna just go along with it either. Chaos magic affords me a lot of things, including a way to find out exactly what he’s thinking.”
“So why not check out Winter Krumb now? Yona think Anon should do that in case he is bad guy.” Yona suggested.
Ergh… “W-well, erm, I can’t do that. I don’t know where the guy actually lives or what he looks like. I need to know that to be able to warp towards him. I could try right now, but there’s a good chance my own magic will mess me up and send me to a place I probably wouldn’t want to be. But when he’s actually here? Yeah, I can mess him up. Y’know, if he’s actually evil.”
Smolder crossed her arms, and began to think. “I dunno, Anon. I just think it’d be better if you had some backup.”
“I get that, but you guys might be worrying over nothing. And ruining your holiday by sticking around here. Like I said, I don’t want you guys to miss out visiting your family and friends. Look, how about this? I’ll send you guys home, and I’ll get Starlight for backup, how does that sound?” You asked.
Smolder looked at you with an odd expression. “Counselor Starlight? Are you sure?”
“Trust me, she has my back. If anything does happen to me, she’ll be ready to blast the guy.” You explain.
“Why not tell Headmare Twilight?” Yona asked.
“Because she’d be much harder to convince, and if I did convince her, I think she’d be a lot more hesitant in doing anything rash. And with a villain, rashness is what we need. Look, guys, seriously. You don’t have to ruin your holidays over me, I got this, I really do. I promise, nothing bad is going to happen.” You explain, practically pleading with them.
They stood there silently, looking at each other. They then backed away to whisper to one another, then came back. Smolder looked at you, and held her claw out. “Fine, we’ll trust you. But you gotta give us a way to get back to you in case something does go wrong.”
Huh? “What do you mean?”
“Smolder means Anon needs to use magic to give us magic items that let us come back when Anon in danger. That way we spend time at home, but also be there for Anon when Anon in trouble. Yona think that fair.” Yona said, smiling with a reassuring nod.
That is pretty fair. You didn’t want to involve them at all. But, if someho… No, you were sure you and Starlight would be enough. You can’t put them in danger, but they weren’t going to leave unless you give them something. “Alright, that does sound fair. Okay, how about I use one of my charges to send you home and give you guys an alarm at the same time. Kinda made a promise to conserve my charges for emergencies and I can’t go using them willy nilly.”
“That’s fine. You just better not mess up, okay? I can get pretty brutal when I do some buttkicking, and I’ll kick your butt too if you mess up.” Smolder grinned as she threatened you.
“Y-yeah, heh, I get it. Alright.” You slip your horn on, and begin to work on a spell to send them home and give them something… Something… Perhaps something that would alarm them, but would send them to Twilight instead. That way, you wouldn’t be lying, and you could get the elements to back you up in case… Well, you doubted it’d go that far. But… Well… You never know.
Yona rushed up and suddenly gave you a hug. It was surprisingly gentle, while still feeling quite tight. “Yona better not have to worry too much about Anon! Anon should be able to enjoy holiday too! Anon better be okay, and remember yak way of thinking too, remember Anon always have friends!”
“N-ngh, y-yeah, I-I know. T-trust me, you don’t have to worry.” Really, you were sure things would be fine.
“Smolder, want to hug too?” Yona asked, looking back at her as Yona squeezed you a little tighter.
“I’m good” Smolder said with a sheepish chuckle. “But she’s right, Anon. Please, be careful. And remember, we’re here for you. Wow, that sounds pretty sappy… Whatever.” Smolder shrugged to herself.
You understood. You already felt bad not being entirely truthful with them, but it wasn’t like you were cutting them out. Everything was going to be just fine. You would prevent the season-ending crisis, protect Cozy, and make sure nothing goes wrong.
Chapter 257 - Of Human Trinkets and Changeling Tempers
Hm, actually, you had no idea where she was, and you only had one last charge for the day. Dammit, it doesn’t seem to matter how conservative you are with your magic, you always seem to use your charges so damn early. You decide to hold onto this one as you begin your search for Starlight. Not like there was anything else to do until later, so time wasn’t really of the essence.
The school? Nope, it was mostly empty, there were a few things related to the holidays going on, but since classes were closed until the end of the holidays, Starlight really had no reason to be here.
The castle? No, you didn’t even bother searching there, she wasn’t there earlier.
The stadium? Didn’t seem so, if she was here, she’d be out somewhere in the middle doing something. Sadly, she was not.
Maybe she was out somewhere looking for gifts to buy? Hmm, if she was, she didn’t seem to be in any place a mare like her would be.
You knew Trixie had taken her wagon behind the castle to practice her upcoming ‘Hearthwarming show’ away from prying eyes. Not exactly what you’d say was the most private spot, but there was the possibility that if Starlight wasn’t there, Trixie might know where she is...
“Saddle Arabia” Trixie told you.
Wut?! “She’s in Saddle Arabia?! When, why?! She didn’t tell me!”
Trixie rolled her eyes at you as she adjusted a few of her props from within the wagon. Damn, it was cramped in here. “You know, she told me you’d react like that. She also told me to tell you that not all life revolves around you and she can do what she pleases.”
…Dammit. “S-so I’ve been told. So, what then? Do you at least know why she’s there?”
“Of course I know. She told me to keep it a secret from everypony, as she seems to believe she’s creating the ‘next big evolution to kite flying.’” Trixie rolled her eyes at the thought. “Honestly, Anon, I’m with you on this one. Kites work just fine, and she could be here with me assisting me with my act instead of going on another fruitless venture like with that silly flying machine.”
The flying machine? Evolution? Oh god, what was Starlight working on now? Didn’t she remember what happened with the jet? You had to figure out what she was working on so you could protect her from herself. “So, what is it then? C’mon, Trixie, you can tell me. It sounds like human tech, and as you know, I’m a human... Or was. Erm, who knows, maybe I can bring Starlight back if it turns out she’s making something dangerous.”
Trixie, without hesitation, uses her magic to pull out the set of blueprints you had given Starlight long before. Trixie sifts through them and pulls out a very particular one. “I don’t even see a reason to keeping it a secret from you. Here, she’s working on this ‘drone’ thing. She thinks it’d be fun to fly one of these around. Silly, isn’t it? It doesn’t look like it’d be fun to me.”
Okay, welp, if this is what it was, then it was nothing to worry about. Still, you needed her here, you needed to talk to her. This Winter Krumb thing has become way too important now that you know others are suspicious of it. “Yeah, so… Yeah, okay. So then, why is she in Saddle Arabia? I know Rainbow Dash’s pet, Tank, can fly around with that little propeller. So I can’t imagine she’d need anything from Saddle Arabia to get this to work.”
“This here.” Trixie brings her hoof to the camera portion of the drone. “Apparently, there is a fortune-telling unicorn in Saddle Arabia with crystal balls that allow sight through sight. Of course, being as great and powerful as I am, I already know it’s just a performative magic-based artifact that allows one to see long distances in any direction as long as other magical lenses exist to peer through them. Literally foal’s play, if you ask me. But apparently it is perfect to use as the camera piece of this drone.”
Huh, that’s actually pretty clever. If you understood Trixie correctly, then Starlight wants to be able to control the drone from further distances by using some sort of magical sight like a live camera feed. Dammit, you almost felt bad you had to pull her away. But this was far more important. “Yeah, well, either way, you’re about to get your wish, Trixie. I gotta bring her back to Ponyville for something important.”
“Great!” Trixie said with a cheer. “So you figured out how to get to her without being redirected back to Twilight’s castle?”
“Yea-wait, what do you mean redirected?” Huh? When was that a thing?
Trixie’s cheer quickly left her as she slumped forward. “Oh, I see…” Trixie then sighed, annoyed with you. “Typical, just typical. I guess you didn’t know about that either. Well, just to let you know, she’s been practicing her magic with me for quite some time. Now, I’m not going to say she’s that much better than I am, but I will say she’s been working on some crazy spells. She can even repel chaos magic now. Spells like stopping your father’s very physical being from encroaching upon areas of her choosing, or even reflecting lesser chaos magic that are similar to some of our own, like teleportation.” Trixie suddenly let out a loud frustrated groan. “This really is your fault! You know that, right?! What if she doesn’t make it back in time for my show?!” Trixie suddenly pointed at you angrily “If she doesn’t, Anon, you’re gonna be sorry!”
“Hey!” you shouted. “Don’t blame me for this! Maybe if you were a better friend to her, she would have taken you along, did you think about that?!”
“Y-yes!... After you just mentioned it! But then that means you’re not as good a friend because she didn’t even tell you about it! So how about that?!” Trixie shouted back, pointing at you, tears coming down her cheek.
…Fuck, that actually hurt. Dammit, Trixie, Dammit! That’s one hell of a sharp point. “Ngh, E-erm… Okay, um…” You began to calm down, and sighed, knowing she was probably right. But only probably, it is possible that Starlight just wanted to do this alone and make it all a surprise like the jet. “I’m sorry, Trixie, can we just sorta chill about all this? Look, I’m sure she’ll be back in time for your show, okay? Starlight never lets me down, and I’m sure she never lets you down, right?”
Trixie nodded pathetically as she wiped her tears.
“Then everything is gonna be okay. I bet when she brings the drone back, she’ll let you use it as part of the act so you could really razzle dazzle your audience.” You said with a little more enthusiasm.
“S-she might. A-and, you’ll be there too, right?” Trixie said, looking at you with sad fluttery eyes.
Wah?! “Erm, I… Sure… I don’t see why not.” That was sudden. Then again, Trixie could use some extra heads. Yeah, you didn’t mind checking her show out.
“And, and, you’ll make sure to let everypony know that you, the hero colt, found my show the most amazing thing ever?” Trixie asked, her eyes fluttering even more.
Oh, welp, there it was, typical Trixie. Whatever, it made you smile, you couldn’t blame her when she asked in such an endearing way. “Sure.”
Trixie suddenly then burst out into a bombastic pose. “Then it’s settled! This Hearthwarming, Trixie will put on her most amazing show, EVER! It will be beyond great, with the most powerful magic ever seen!”
“Yeah! There you go! Woo!” You cheered.
“And with Starlight eventually at Trixie’s side, Trixie will even use inferior human tech to win over the hearts of ponies everywhere! It’ll be colossal, stupendous, and… What is that?” Trixie suddenly calmed down as she pointed towards you.
“What is what?” You asked, looking around.
“That thing attached to your leg.” Trixie said, pointing at what looked like a fish hook.
“Huh? Oh, that’s ju-” Suddenly your eyes widened “No! No! NO!” You shouted as you tried to remove the hook, but the moment you gave it a tug, you suddenly went flying through the window of the wagon and found yourself being dragged across the snow and slamming on the sides of Twilight’s castle before being thrust through the doors and eventually hanging at the end of a fishing pole yet again inside the main cutie map chamber.
“See, Twilight? He’s safe and sound, he’s not in danger whatsoever.” Discord said as he happily pointed at you as you hung from the hook.
“T-that’s not what I asked, Discord. I asked you if you could ask Anon to come to the castle so I can speak to him about Spike! Not just bring him here, especially like that!” Twilight shouted, clearly frustrated with Discord.
“Oh… Well, I suppose this still accomplishes your wishes, now doesn’t it?” Discord then turned to you with a smirk as his talon pointed towards Twilight. “Anon, would it be alright if you spoke to Twilight about boring things?”
You just gave Discord furious eyes as you hung from his hook. “Co-dec! CODEC! We both have one! Why didn’t you use it instead of just literally dragging me in here!?”
Discord merely scoffed and waved his paw at you. “Pfft, colts these days. So stuck on their technology that they eventually become mindless zomponies, enslaved by their machines. I’m doing things the smart way, for what strengthens the bond between father and son more than fishing?”
“I realllllllllly hate you right now, you know that?” You said with a low growl.
“Egh, looks like he really does need some friendship lessons from you, Twilight. Alright, alright, I can see he’s going to be taking his anger out on me for no reason whatsoever. So…” Discord plucks you from his hook and suddenly plonks you onto a scale and murmurs to himself “Too small to cook anyway”. He then picks you up, plonks you to the ground, and pets your head. “Yes, just… Do whatever it is this is all about. I have Hearthwarming gifts to hunt, and this is just taking up more of my valuable time. Ciao.” Discord said with a wave as he suddenly blinked away in a flash of light.
Twilight rolled her eyes about the whole situation and approached you to make sure you were alright. “Are you okay, Anon?”
“Mngh… Yeah, this is just how he’s typically always going to be, ugh.” You gave a rub to your head until it suddenly hit you that you were in front of Twilight, who was apparently wanting you for something. “Wait, Twilight? He brought me here to see you? What happened, what do you need?”
“Well, since you’re here, I wanted to talk to you about this whole situation with Spike and Chrysalis. I’ve been thinking more and more about it, and while I think it is a wonderful idea, Spike’s thoughts on the whole thing are kind of hard to ignore.” Twilight said to you.
“No kidding, I already got it all sorted with him though.” You told her.
“I could tell by the half-eaten Celestia statue. Which, by the way, I almost thought was actually her. You couldn’t have made it look a little less like her?” Twilight asked as she looked back on the gem statue, obviously looking irked by its visage.
You shrugged, but an image of Twilight freaking out thinking Spike was eating her was pretty damn hilarious in your head. “You know how it is with chaos magic. What happens happens. Just be glad it isn’t actually her. But yeah, if you know I got it all sorted, then why do you need to see me?”
“Welllll, I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday mostly. Fluttershy made it sound too good to be true, and I wanted to know if Chrysalis was being sincere about how she felt.” Twilight said, her wording, at least to you, seeming a little shifty.
“You mean you want to make sure Spike isn’t going to be abused, right? I mean, that’s fine, I get it, I understand why you’d be worried about that. Twilight, I can assure you everything is going to be fine. Chrysalis actually really enjoyed Aunt Fluttershy’s company, they got along pretty good, and you have no idea how good it was she discovered Bob Ross because that made things a whole lot easier.” Like, seriously, Fluttershy bonding over the car and Bob Ross was a major factor in all of this.
“Is that the painting human Fluttershy talked about? I have to admit, the way she explained that whole thing got me really curious. I looked through every book I have and there was nothing about the sound of painting sounding so soothing. I even looked for any chapters on that ASMR thing you mentioned to them and I found nothing. I don’t even think anything in the Canterlot archives would have any information on it.” Twilight explained.
Wha? “You’re that curious about it? What got you so interested?”
“Well, considering it seemed to be something that Fluttershy was able to bond with her with, it makes it seem like this Bob Ross human has the innate ability to bring ponies together with some sort of ‘human magic’. I know you said humans don’t have magic, but this kind of phenomena requires research. Hm, it wouldn’t trouble you to maaaaaaaybe use one of your charges for a copy of this Bob Ross show? Please?” Twilight asked, giving you shimmering pleading eyes.
“Uhm, kinda can’t today. I only have one charge left and I need to use it to get me and Spike to Chrysalis’s. But, uh, I mean, I sorta need to really need to hold on to as many charges as I can for… Uh, Hearthwarming too. Yeah, so… I can give it to you as a gift if you'd like.” You certainly could. But you couldn’t be wasting your charges after today. You had to discipline yourself, in case this Winter Krumb thing held any water.
“Right, sorry. I didn’t mean to sound pushy. It just sounds so fascinating. Ahrm, but right, right, Spike. Look, I’m going to trust you, Anon. I fully trust you to make this work, and to make sure Spike comes back safe and sound.” Twilight says, recoiling from the feeling she was pressing you too hard.
“You can count on me, Twilight. Uhm, so, does this mean you’re also okay with Chrysalis coming to the castle for O&O sessions? Y’know, if this whole thing works out?” You ask.
“Anon, I’m the Princess of Friendship. If Chrysalis is a friend, then I am more than happy to let her inside the castle. Because, well, it is a castle of friendship. Where friendship should be allowed to flourish. Does that make any sense?” Twilight asked.
Yes, but the overuse of the word ‘friendship’ was going to give you an aneurism. “Yeah. But then, what about your brother?”
Twilight grimaced at those words. “Ergh, ummmm. Well, I know he wouldn’t like it if he finds out. But I also can’t hide it from him either. I could tell him right now, see what he thinks.”
“Twilight, the moment he gets a letter about Chrysalis being in the castle, he’s gonna hop the first train over here and come at her with an axe, or sword, or something. I dunno, I just know it’d be bad.” You explain to her. “Are you sure we should even tell him?”
“We have to tell him. But… maybe not right now then. If Chrysalis does come to the castle, we can see how it all works out, and if it goes well, then I can send him a letter. If he knows she’d been here for a while and is doing just fine, that should calm him down.” Twilight surmised.
“...Or he will come at her with an axe, or sword, or something.” You repeat. But then you gave it some thought. Shining Armor finding out at all would be a major disaster, for sure, but it also wasn’t something you could hide forever. “What if I spoke to him during Hearthwarming? He can’t get too mad on the most important day of the year.”
“You? Anon, first of all, I don’t think it should be you, he is my brother after all. And two, that is not something to do on Hearthwarming. It’s a day of love, family, and friendship. Not a day for him to want to bring an axe, or sword, or something.” Twilight explains, not confident in your abilities to speak to Shining about such a subject. “Just like I’m trusting you with Spike, I want you to trust me with this. Friendship is about working together, Anon. And the same promise you made to me? Well, I make the same promise to you about him.”
Mngh… Fine, it was clear she wasn’t going to budge on this. And if he did come at her, you’d be ready with your own magic. “Alright, alright, okay. And trust me, I intend on keeping my promise. I’ll jump in the way of Chrysalis’s magic myself if she shoots something at Spike.”
Twilight gasped. “You think she’d do that?!”
NGH! “N-no! May-NO! Look, Chrysalis is actually not too hard to make angry if you know what you’re doing. Just gotta humor her some and everything will be fine. It won’t be a problem. I mean, it worked out for Applebloom, remember?”
Twilight sighed in relief. “Okay, right, you had me worried there for a second.”
“Woah, this is the place?” Spike said as he stood in marvel of the manor in the Everfree forest. “This is where she lives? Dude, this is nicer than anything in Canterlot. Shame about the location though, it feels so lonely here.”
You had used your magic to teleport you and Spike to Chrysalis’s manor. You figured things would be simple. Talk to Chrysalis, get her to talk to Spike, things happen, and she’ll be playing O&O in no time. “Yeah, well, as lonely as it is, she has everything she needs in there to keep herself busy. She’s even picked up on painting recently.”
“Yeah, you mentioned that. Didn’t think she’d be that cultured.” Spike said as he walked up and examined the front door. “She any good?”
“Yeah, but I’m guessing years of having to pretend to be other ponies has given her a mastery over the arts.” You raised your hoof to give the door a knock. “Including the art of roleplaying. Trust me, Spike, you’re go-” But before you could knock, Spike grabs your leg and gently holds it back. “Spike?”
“Huh? S-sorry, I… Guess I’m nervous. I dunno, part of this feels really weird to me.” Spike said.
“Weird how? You’re fine with playing with my Dad, and he was a villain. And yes, I can tell you’re gonna bring up ‘was’. In which I say to you that Chrysalis WAS a villain too. So, you know, there should be no problems.” You remind Spike in a rather abrasive way.
Spike just gave you an eye as he raised his claw. “...So, do you always just have these conversations in your head?”
Ugh… “Look, it’s gonna be fine. We got this far, right? What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Don’t say that! Those are the words that always make something really bad happen!” Spike shouted.
You just rolled your eyes at him. You were sure nothing bad was going to happen, and that you were enough to make sure nothing would go wrong. If Fluttershy can do it, he sure the fuck can. “Look, I’m just gonna knock…” You raised your hoof as you stared at Spike. He looked extremely nervous and began to raise his arm again, but you quickly crash your hoof onto the door and hit it thrice before he can react.
“Gyah! Oh gosh, this is seriously happening!” Spike said as he fell to his knees, holding on to his head in a panic. “Why did I agree to this?!”
You just rolled your eyes and waited for Chrysalis to ask who it was. But instead, there was nothing. The door simply opened, and behind it was… “Anon? Anon!” And before you knew it, Diamond Tiara rushed up and began to cuddle onto you. “Anon, we weren’t expecting you! This is soooo awesome! Now I can show you what Big Sis did for me!”
Wut? “D-Diamond?! What are you doing here?”
“Oh no! See!” Spike pointed towards Diamond. “She’s already foalnapping fillies and using them for horrible… Things. I don’t know what they are, but it can’t be good.”
Diamond stopped, and furrowed her brow towards Spike for a moment before looking back at you. “Oh, you brought him? Hmph…” Diamond then walked towards Spike, giving him the stink eye. “Hey, don’t say things like that around me, got it? Big Sis didn’t foalnap me, me and Scootaloo came here on our own.”
“You and… What?! Scootaloo is here too?! Are you hypnotized?! I know she can do that! Anon, you were hyp-Ow!” You interrupt Spike with a head bonk from your hoof. This went from confusing to really weird really fast.
“None of us are hypnotized, Spike. Diamond has been here before, and she sees Chrysalis as her big sister. Cripes, I was expecting this from Aunt Fluttershy, not from you.” You say as your attention turns over to Diamond. “But I do have to ask. Scootaloo? How did… Well, how did the both of you get here if Chrysalis didn’t bring you? It’s pretty dangerous to get here on your own.” Seriously, to you, something was amiss. This very well could just be Chrysalis messing with you.
“Well, come inside and I’ll tell you. Come on, come on, I wanna show you something!” Diamond said excitedly as she stepped back through the entrance, waiting for you and Spike to step inside.
Alright… “C’mon, let’s go see what’s up.” You say as you look back at Spike.
“Mngh…” Spike hesitated, he looked back at the forest trees and realized he couldn’t just leave. And that insult… You could tell he didn’t like it much as he gathered up his courage and stomped inside. “Sure, make way, Anon. I’ll show you how not afraid I am. I’m so una… Woah.” But as Spike stepped inside, he began to immediately become impressed with the entrance hall. To him, it looked even more lavish than even Celestia’s castle. “Geez, look at all this! Seriously, everything looks so… So… I don’t even know what to say.”
“Hmph, that’s because Big Sis deserves the nicest things, of course.” Diamond said dismissively at Spike before looking at you with big doting eyes. “Anon, are you ready to see? It’s so super cool!”
So, Chrysalis gave her a gift? Or maybe this was some sort of evil but also light-hearted trap? Hmmm… Where was Scootaloo? “Sure, um. But first, where is Scootaloo? You didn’t really answer my question on how you got here.”
“Awww, you’re that worried about me? Anon, trust me, it’s fine. Scrappy brought us here. It was part of our evil plan to bring Scootaloo over here.” Diamond said with a cheerful smile.
“Evil?! Anon, are you sure that’s her! She just said it was an evil plan! You said things would be fine!” Spike yelled as he pointed towards Diamond.
God dammit. If it involved Scrappy, then it probably was only ‘evil’ because it pleased Chrysalis. “Diamond, did Scrappy say it was an evil plan?”
“Well, yeah, he wouldn’t accept it being called anything else. When I came over to invite the crusaders to daddy’s Pre-Hearthwarming party, I overheard them talking through the door with Scrappy about Big Sis wanting to play O&O. But when I also heard Scootaloo didn’t really want her to play, I came in, made my invitation known, pulled Scrappy aside, and made a plan to bring Scootaloo over to decide for herself if Big Sis can play. Because, well, if Big Sis is gonna play, I’m gonna play, and I have to make that happen. And…” Diamond let out a commanding chortle “All it took was promising her lifetime tickets to every Wonderbolt show. I wasn’t lying either, I can make that happen really easily.”
Wut? So, that’s all it took?! Wait, then where was Scootaloo?! “But, Diamond, where’s Scootaloo then? She’s not here with you. Y-You’re not gonna tell me you left her with Chrysalis, right?”
Spike crossed his arms and grumbled “Told you something was off.”
“Anon!” Diamond shouted angrily at you. “I hope you’re not thinking Big Sis is doing anything bad to her. Ugh, are you really going to ruin the surprise by being suspicious too?”
Ngh… It did seem off. Why would Scootaloo be alone with Chrysalis? It was hard to see happening without some sort of issue. But dammit, why would Chrysalis do anything cruel when she’s dead set on playing the game? Unless her entire reasoning for wanting to was just to torment Scoots and Spike. Dammit… As you looked into Diamond’s eyes, you knew you couldn’t hesitate. “No! No! I was just, er, curious. Just like I’m curious about this surprise. So, er, what is it?”
Diamond beamed a genuine blushy smile as she giggled and ran to the right staircase of the entrance hall. “Well, it’s right here! Big Sis wanted me to take it home, but I think it’d be better as part of her climb to her room, so she’ll always think of me. Check it out! Can you guess who it is?!”
You and Spike looked up to see Diamond standing right under a painting. Woah, wait a second. It was a painting of a young human woman standing ontop of a golden chest, she wore what looked like a thief’s tunic, but much grander looking, almost royal like. She smirked as she held a dagger in one hand, and a crown in the other, one leg sitting on the chest with her dagger-holding arm resting on the elbow. Her expression was full of cunning to the point it looked rather sexy to you. But then you saw it, the hair, it was the same as Diamond’s, as was the eyes.
Spike narrowed his eyes as he gazed upon it. “That’s a human thing, right? How are we supposed to guess who that is? Anon, do you know her?”
You did… “Diamond, that’s… Your O&O character, right? That’s Moonlight Garnet.”
Diamond jumped up, letting out the happiest little squeal as she pranced around. “That’s right! Isn’t it, like, the best!? Big Sis painted it for me as a gift for bringing Scootaloo! Actually…” Diamond stopped as she began to think on it. “I didn’t even know Big Sis was this good a painter until today. She never mentioned it before, and now she just really likes painting. I’m not complaining, just look how cool I look. I can’t wait to play the game again with Big Sis, it’s gonna be awesome! You know, Anon, you really should play with us.”
Chrysalis just decided to gift her with this? Fuck man, that’s really generous of her. Like, seriously, that’s damned generous. Why does she always insult you and punt you half the time and Diamond gets a painting? Like, damn. “I, uh… Maybe. It is really nice though. I kinda thought of what you’d look like as a human once, ahrm. But this is a lot better, I think. Yeah, you look really cool here.”
“I know, I look the best. I bet Scootaloo's will look great too.” Diamond said, standing proud.
Spike got closer to the painting to examine it, then started to notice the paintings that were at the left staircase as well. “These are really neat looking. That dude in the armor looks really rad. Hm, I guess she really did mellow out.”
Finally, he was starting to calm down about that. But wait. If Diamond said Scootaloo was with Chrysalis, then maybe… “Wait, Diamond. Are you saying Chrysalis is painting Scootaloo’s character too, right now?”
Diamond nodded “Exactly! I admit, it is a bit underhoofed to get her to agree to let her play. But Scootaloo really calmed down when she saw how me and Big Sis got along. It also helps that Scrappy brought us whatever snacks we wanted too. They’re in the living room right now and should almost be done. But, I don’t think we should disturb them. Big Sis would get really cranky if we ruined her concentration.”
Well, holy fuck, that was convenient. “See, Spike? Even Scoots handled it better than you did.”
Spike’s shoulders slunk down as he groaned. “Okay, I get it, I overreacted. So, uh, can I get a painting then? I wouldn’t mind seeing what Garbuncle would look like as a valiant, wise, powerful, and amazing wizard human.” Spike said with a sheepish chuckle.
Diamond shook her head, looking at him with a stoic expression. “No. You really should have shown up when you were supposed to.” Diamond said as she slowly made her way to the throughway to the living room. “Shhh, come and look. Isn’t she amazing?”
You and Spike, who looked genuinely disappointed with himself, popped your heads out to the side of the throughway to look into the living room.
There they were. Chrysalis, donned in the same outfit she wore yesterday, was busy at work putting the finishing touches on Scootaloo’s painting. Ahead of her, on a makeshift pedestal made of her living room coffee table and a few pillows, was Scootaloo… And Scootaloo? One was standing and looking valiantly to the side while the other looked directly at Chrysalis, though this one looked a tad nervous. Was the other Scrappy? Wait, aha, it wasn't hard to figure out. It was basically a front and side profile of Scootaloo for Chrysalis to look at. Clever!
As for the painting itself? An adult human Scootaloo stood up, clad in heavy platinum armor. She looked straight with a brave expression as her hands rested on the hilt of a mighty sword stuck onto the ground, blade first. An insignia of a rainbow lightning bolt was visible at the top of the hilt of the sword and the breast of the armor. Chrysalis was nearly done, she just needed to put a few finishing touches on the face.
Spike took a step back, stunned from what he was seeing. “Woah, it’s really happening.”
Diamond took a step back, and she was not pleased by those words. “Duh, Big Sis is totally awesome! Why are you acting like she can’t fit in with us? Seriously, can’t you just give her a chance?”
“H-hey! I…” Spike hesitates once again, and looks towards you.
You just shake your head. “Don’t even, after seeing Scootaloo standing there, I now just think you’re one hundred percent overreacting for no reason whatsoever.”
Spike stood stiff at those words. “I just… Ugh, okay, okay, okay. I get it already, I really do. Watch, I’m gonna march right up to her and tell her that I’m fine with her joining our games. Okay? Is that alright?”
You nodded. “Yep, that’s fine with me. Just wait for her to finish up first.”
Suddenly, you all stop when you finally hear Chrysalis speaking from the living room. “Hm, Scootamare of the Loyal Order of the Rainbow Knights. I’m not big on the name, but I have to admit, I think I made a soldier worthy of the Roughnecks with this one.”
You quickly go to peer at them again. Scrappy had already transformed back into a puppy as he stood by Chrysalis’s side, staring at the completed painting. “My Queen, it is beyond perfection! And if there’s something past perfection, then it’s that too! You made friend Scootaloo look like a true human knight!”
Scootaloo herself looked less nervous as she became eager to see the painting. Though, when she went to hop off the pedestal, Chrysalis called out to her. “Stop! Before you see this, I assume I have your ‘okay’?”
Scootaloo seemed to hesitate for a moment. But then she stopped, and gave a pretty sure nod. “I do. If it’s anything like the painting you did for Diamond, then I know I’m really going to be grateful! Thank you, Chrysalis!”
“What? Thanking me already? You haven’t even seen my handiwork yet.” Chrysalis said, confused by Scootaloo’s words.
“But you still put in the hard work to do it for me, just for me to say ‘yes’ to you. I know I was really nervous when I got here, but you really spent a lot of time on these. And I guess, I dunno, standing here gave me time to think about something I did the other day with Anon and his dad.” Scootaloo replied.
“Egh, you mean that lout didn’t torture you nor Anon? Every time I’m so much as in the same room with that fool, he always does something distasteful. Honestly, I only tolerate him because of Anon. I assume it’s the same with you.” Chrysalis said as she groaned.
“Not really. Okay, I mean, it was almost like that, but not for anything evil or something. Discord, when he isn’t playing O&O, can seem pretty mean and thoughtless, but he really isn’t. All it takes is seeing past his outer shell and understanding one another to make things work. I think I see what Anon sees in you now, Chrysalis. On the outside, you act mean and evil, but on the inside, y-” But suddenly a green bolt of magic shoots past Scootaloo, making her jump off the pedestal and duck for cover.
“I told you when you got here NOT to give me any friendship speeches! I know how it all works, I don’t need constant reminders!” Chrysalis growled, spooking even Scrappy as he tried to calm her down.
“My Queen! It wasn’t her fault! Y-you know how ponies are, they want everypony to feel the cuddly warmness of friendship!” Scrappy said as he hopped in front of Scootaloo, hoping to defend her in case Chrysalis fired another shot.
“I know.” Chrysalis said as she slumped down some and turned the painting over to face Scootaloo. “But this is my home. Therefore, I expect everypony here to follow my rules, and I don’t appreciate being patronized. Anyway, what do you think?”
Scootaloo was still shaking and ducked down. She only peered up a little bit past Scrappy. And while she was impressed with how brave her human self looked, she was too spooked to give an answer beyond “A-a-awesome?”
“Good. Captain, have this painting carefully wrapped for her. I expect nothing less than professional handling of this masterpiece I’ve created. And when you’re done, fetch some of those human oreo cookies from my pantry for our guests.” Chrysalis said as she stood and stretched.
“Yes, my Queen!” Scrappy said with a sudden salute as he looked back at the scared pegasus foal with a smile. “See? Isn’t she the best?”
Scootaloo gulped, slowly standing up. “Y-yeah, the best.”
“...Oh, by the way.” Chrysalis looked back at the throughway with a cruel smile. “Little Sister, you informed Twilight’s pet that he will not be receiving a painting solely based on his utter rudeness of not accepting my invitation, right?”
Diamond stepped past the both of you to greet Chrysalis, even giving a salute like Scrappy would. “Uh huh! I think it was pretty rude too.”
“Yes, well.” Chrysalis falsey frowned as she brought her hoof to her forehead, speaking like a distressed damsel. “I’m afraid that some still believe I’m a menace to society. I don’t blame them, given my past.” But then she began to smirk. “Then again, I kind of prefer it that way. I have this firm belief that one should never lose their bite.”
While that was going on, Spike pulled you back as he began to panic again. “Anon, did you see that?! How was that not evil?!”
…Dammit. “Erm, I mean. She missed her. Uhm…” It was kinda hard to justify such an aggressive display.
“And she knows we’re here! Anon, do you know what that means?” Spike asked as he began to step back towards the entrance doors.
You sighed. “Spike, c’mon. She missed on purpose, and we’re about to get oreos. If Chrysalis was evil, she wouldn’t be offering us oreos.”
“What the heck are oreos!? Is it some sort of evil bug juice?” Spike asked, demanding an answer.
“Spike, it’s literally two little chocolate cookies with cream in the center of each one. They’re really good.” You explain. “C’mon, it’ll be fine.”
“That… Does sound kind of good. B-but, what about what she nearly did to Scootaloo?! How can you possibly defend that?!” Again, Spike demanded an answer out of you.
“Spike, I can’t, okay? But she’s not really going to hurt Scootaloo. Did you see that painting? That’s a work of passion, okay? If you’re worried about how she’ll act during a game of O&O, I promise it’ll b-” Suddenly you’re interrupted as Scrappy rushes in with a platter of oreo cookies.
“Even though I don’t think either of you deserve any, my Queen has offered you these treats and to join us for a movie chosen by our little queen!” Scrappy explained as the platter balanced on his head.
Little queen? Wut?! “What do you mean? Wait, are you calling Diamond ‘little queen’?” C’mon, that’s a bit much, geez, he really takes his role that seriously.
“What’s the problem, Anon? Have you tried these? These taste great! And a movie? Sure, I’m down, if I can get some soda too.” Spike explained as he began to scoff down the oreos.
WUT?! “What the?! Weren’t you just scared a second ago?! And making me go through a moral crisis of having to defend a magic bolt shot?!”
“Pfft, nah.” Spike said as he took the platter, gave you a pat, and walked over into the living room. “No friendship talk, right? I can do that. Hey, are there any gems around here? I wouldn’t mind that too.”
…Dammit, man. What the hell?! You just stood there, dumb faced at Spike’s heel turn.
“Anon, do not worry. I am also super disgusted. He’s like a pig in dragon skin, not worthy of the presence of the queen, little queen, or friend Scootaloo. Well, you sorta aren’t either, but that’s okay, that isn’t your fault. Anyway, I need to fetch more snacks and some drinks! Oh, I know just what to get Scootaloo!” Scrappy said as he rushed out of the entrance hall, leaving you standing there alone.
You looked back into the living room, and to your surprise, everyone, even Scootaloo, was hopping onto the couch as Chrysalis directed Diamond as to where the movies were. It was almost like nothing happened at all.
You just brought your hoof to your face as you contemplated on the entire situation. “Why do I suddenly feel like an idiot?”
“Hm, not bad at all. I thought this was going to be a gory horror movie, but this was nice. Though, I feel the movie had some missed potential.” Chrysalis said.
Diamond, positioned between you and Chrysalis, looked up at her, with childish curiousness. “What’s that?”
“Well, I was very invested in the unintentional havoc Jack was wreaking. I was hoping it’d go on a little longer, maybe show a human child get eaten, or something.” Chrysalis said with a playful huff. “I know it’s just a movie, but I could only imagine the horror of your Nightmare Night fusing with Hearthwarming. But then we have that whole Wendigo thing to worry about, it might as well just be that.”
“That would have been kind of neat. But, personally, I liked Sally. You’d think Jack would have listened to her better. There was no way his plan was gonna work. But then I forget sometimes Anon is the same way.” Diamond then looks at you with a smile, and snuggles into you. “But I can’t help but find it totally cute.”
"I mean, I don't mess up that much. But, erm, opinions... opinions..." You began to blush, dammit. Your weakness, affection. “...I always loved this movie. The music, the characters. Eheh, but me reminding you of Jack? I, uh, guess I have my Nightmare Night costume for next year.”
“Well, then I’m gonna be Sally! Sure, nopony will know who we are, but what’s important is that we’ll be a pair, together.” Diamond said with excitement, giving you an adorably cheerful smile.
“I wouldn’t mind having a costume that looks like Oogie Boogie. I know he’s the bad guy, but he had a really jazzy bad guy song. I bet I could scare the girls real good if I can get the face just right.” Scootaloo said, before letting out in a sing song way. “Because Ponyville would be in for a scary scare, because I’d be the one and only Oogie Boogie mare!” Scootaloo giggled.
Well, that told you Scootaloo actually enjoyed the movie. “Liked it that much, huh?”
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah! You don’t see movies like that here in Equestria. It was so different, but so cool! I dunno, sometimes musicals can be really boring. But like, every song was great, and I’ve never seen a story like that before. Jack was like, the good guy, but also the bad guy, but a good guy, only because he didn’t know any better. I thought the movie would be scary, but it really is that good. What did you think, Scrappy?”
“I like when bug go squish!” Scrappy said, mashing his paws together.
Scootaloo giggled at that. “No, Scrappy. I mean, what did you think of the movie?”
“Erm, I, erm, like when bug go squish?” Scrappy said, reluctantly clapping his paws together.
“Oh, well, that’s okay. What about you, Spike?” Scootaloo asked, turning over to Spike, who was at the end of the couch.
But the only answer she got was snores, as Spike was fast asleep at the edge of the arm of the sofa, oreo cream and crumbs all over his face.
“Why am I not surprised?” Chrysalis scoffed.
“Wow, I didn’t expect Spike to fall asleep during the movie. Should we wake him up?” Scootaloo asked, looking at you for an answer.
“I think we should. He fell asleep during ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’. How does that even happen?! The movie is amazing!” You were actually pretty astonished. How could anyone find the movie boring? It was damned god tier.
“I agree with Anon. I think we should make dragon go squish!” Scrappy said with a low growl, disgusted with Spike’s rudeness.
“Boys, boys, we will do nothing of the sort. Let the little dragon sleep, and send him home with a few packs of those cookies he seems to like so much.” Chrysalis said rather calmly, despite her previous disgust.
Both you and Scrappy looked at her with confusion. You didn’t want Chrysalis to kill Spike or anything, but after all the hospitality, you expected him to at least pretend he was having fun. And again, falling asleep during THIS movie? You felt insulted, at least.
“Ooooh, I get it.” Diamond gave Chrysalis a smirk. “Awesome as always, Big Sis.”
Chrysalis smirked back at her. “I’m glad somepony figured it out.”
“Well, I figured it out too. And, uh… I think you’re gonna need maybe a little more than a few. I don’t think Spike would be able to say no if he had a ton of those cookies to sandwich between his gems.” Scootaloo added, she too seemed to understand what was going on.
“Ah, glad we girls are all on the ball then.” Chrysalis said as she took a glance at Scootaloo. “So let me ask you something. Can I expect to be able to play with the likes of you without being told what a ‘good job’ I’m doing? This may sound strange to you, but I am only choosing to play to satisfy my own whims, and to have some minor social interaction. That’s it. Whatever happens, happens. But I am not Discord, I am not a slave to the good praises of friends. If you need to learn of what I mean, I’m sure Little Sister can explain it to you in a way you can understand.”
“I think I do get it. But, Chrysalis, you have to expect at least some of that. Friends always give their friends some praise when they do something good. Besides, how are we supposed to praise you for your roleplaying skills if it feels all patronizing and stuff to you?” Scootaloo asked, almost in a way that seemed rather cunning.
Chrysalis’s eyes went wide for a moment, before she began to ponder. “Hm, that’s almost a good point. I only meant in terms of friendship.”
“But aren’t we friends now? I want you to play because you’re our friend. And I want to say nice things about you because you deserve it.” Scootaloo said.
“Big Sis, she has a point. I like praising you because you’re totally, like, my big sister. And you always praise me, and that makes me feel like I’m your little sister. Wouldn’t it be okay to praise you because you’re amazing? Or when you do something really cool? It can just be like how we compliment each other, instead of it being just because.” Diamond added, in an attempt to ease Chrysalis’s feelings on the subject.
Chrysalis went silent for a moment, then began to grumble to herself. “I hate that you’re actually making some good points. But I’ll admit, heads would roll if anypony accused me of ‘killing the vibes’. Fine, I’ll do things your way up until it turns out I don't like it.” Chrysalis then looked towards Spike, then to you. “Anon, let me know when the dragon has changed his mind.”
You nodded towards her. “Got it. Hey, Chrysalis, actually… You know, since we have a much bigger group, what do you think of doing some video game playing sometime?”
“Ergh, no. I still remember those disgusting arcade machines. I won’t waste my time with those type of games.” Chrysalis said dismissively.
“Hm… What if I told you Princess Celestia and Luna have played those ‘type’ of games? Hm?” You say, giving her a bit of a sly smile.
“If you’re appealing to my lust of revenge by gaining it through crushing them in said games, then let me tell you this. Logically, it wouldn’t even be a challenge. I’d have all the time in the world to be better than them. It’d be like a master wizard stepping on a bunch of newborn foals. I appreciate the sentiment, but my feelings on Princess Celestia aren't going to completely change for quite some time. And I have a sense that she wouldn’t even let me have any satisfaction in crushing her anyway.” Chrysalis quickly changes into Celestia and says in a haughty voice. “You did well, Queen Chrysalis. I’ll need a little more practice to defeat you. Ah well, come, let us have cake!” Chrysalis then changes back to her original self with a groan. “Even acting it out feels humiliating.”
“Do not worry about it, my queen. One day, there will be no cake ever, and she will rue the day she ever offered you any.” Scrappy said in a comforting way as he wagged his tail, looking towards Chrysalis before saluting.
Chrysalis slightly smiled, and nodded. “Hm, thank you, Captain. However, me even saying those two words means visiting time is over. Anon, I assume you’re all out of charges?”
“Uhm, yeah.” You admitted in shame. “But, hey, I had to use one to get here, so you can’t fault me for that.”
“I suppose. Well, since it is all of you, and you need to keep that painting safe, do me a favor and head to Ponyville through your portal door. It’ll be more convenient for everypony that way.” Chrysalis said, which instantly excited Diamond.
“Oh! Can we do that?!” Suddenly Diamond yawned and laid against you. “Maybe I can take a nap with you, maybe? It’s been a really fun day and I’m all fun’d out.”
You let out a quick chuckle, blushing, and sighed. “You know what? Sure. I wouldn’t mind getting a chance to relax with my best gal.” You say, more as a sign of endearment rather than anything else.
“Wow, I didn’t know you could be so romantic, Anon.” Scootaloo said in surprise, before giggling. “Are you gonna do kissy stuff too?”
“Hm, are we, Anon?” Diamond said, giving you a sultry look.
You suddenly began to sweat profusely. “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhm”
Diamond giggled, and gave you a gentle peck on the nose. “Nah, I’ll be happy with a nap, I’m too tired for anything else. Maaaaybe next time.”
…D-dammit. D-d-dammit. Why does she have to tease like that?! Even worse, and something you didn’t expect, Chrysalis looked at you with a vicious yet motherly look. It felt like she was threatening you that if you tried anything anyway, you might not like what comes out of it. N-not like you’d try anything.
“Ahrm, in any case. I’ve had enough with all this friendliness for one day.” Chrysalis said as she stood up and motioned towards Scrappy. “Captain, I've changed my mind since it seems Anon will be sleeping for the day, I instead want you to bring word to me that the dragon has agreed to let me join the game the moment he allows it.”
Scrappy salutes “Yes, my queen!” But then he begins to grumble to himself. “I don’t understand how anypony can deny my queen… Mnnn”
As you all prepared to leave the manor, Diamond couldn’t help but give a heartfelt goodbye to her ‘big sister’, even giving her a hug. Chrysalis, as usual, tries not to sound too enthused about it, but her words were not uncaring or aloof either. If anything, it just continues to show you that Chrysalis, even if she didn’t realize it herself, is willing to show a softer side to her towards Diamond, probably due to Diamond having a better understanding of her more queenly side than even you.
Either way, your business for the day was done. Everyone was returned to Ponyville, and for you, you got a good amount of rest for the rest of the day with Diamond. It really wasn’t much, but having a warm body to cuddle up with, who cared about you so deeply, was comforting. To the point that you were glad Discord never came to interrupt the moment, you enjoyed the feeling of just… Being loved and not having to worry about anything else.
But eventually, it was time to send Diamond home. And it was time to continue your investigation on Winter Krumb.
It was the next day, and once this day and tomorrow were over...
It was cold outside, frigid. You didn’t realize that it’d be snowing harder today, mostly because you never kept up with the pegasi forecast. You had your saddlebag, a thick winter hat, and a warm green and black scarf. You stood in front of Bonbon’s door. You took a deep breath, and went over things in your head.
You had zero proof, but there was a possibility Winter Krumb was evil. Starlight was off doing her own thing, and you only had yourself to blame in inspiring her. You had zero backup for which could possibly be nothing. Bonbon was a secret agent. You didn’t really know of what, but to you, it was a boon for what you needed. Your magic, as it was, was useless in finding Winter. But Bonbon? She should be able to find him just fine.
You extend your hoof, and knock on the door.
It didn’t take long for the door to open. Bonbon looked upon you, shocked, that you’d be out in the cold like this. “Anon, what are you doing out here? You couldn’t have waited a couple of hours for the snow to die down?!”
Oh… Well shit. “Erm…” You shifted your eyes left and right, then looked up at her with a sheepish grin before giving up a tired sigh. “I needed to see you, Bonbon.”
“Okay? Sheesh, it must be serious, then. Well, come inside and get warm. Lyra and I were waiting things out with some hot cocoa. You want some?” Bonbon offered as she let you inside, picking off your hat with her teeth and hanging it on a hat rack as she pointed towards a seat in the living room by a coffee table. Lyra was immediately in view, already happily waving at you while she held her cup up with her magic. You waved back, feeling a small sense of comfort knowing she seemed happy to see you more than suspicious.
“S-sure.” You said as you jumped onto the seat and plopped your butt down. Bonbon soon took her seat on the couch next to Lyra, and began to pour you a cup, pushing your cup towards you with her snout. You took it, and slowly sipped.
“Are you alright, Anon? What are you doing out in the cold?” Lyra asked, as her cheeriness turned to worry. “Didn’t you read yesterday’s forecast?”
“I think he’s here for something important, Lyra.” Bonbon said as she took a sip from her cup, her eyes focused on you.
“Important? I didn’t realize my recipe was that good. Hm, I would have expected Pinkie to be here more than him. Unless… Anon, are you choco-crazy?” Lyra asked. You thought she was joking, but she was actually quite serious.
“What?! No, I came here to see Bonbon. I… I have a problem.” You said, taking another sip, as you suddenly felt nervous. You didn’t expect to feel like you were on the spot.
“A problem? Alright, tell me what it is. Whatever I can do to help, I’ll do it.” Bonbon said without hesitation, inspiring Lyra.
“Wow, Bonbon! This is why you’re so awesome! But…” Suddenly Lyra became confused as she looked back at you. “You need her help, Anon? Is it Hearthwarming related?”
“Sorta? Look, I’ll just throw it out there. I have a friend named Cozy Glow. She’s just a little filly, but she’s made a penpal named Winter Krumb. And there’s something about that I don’t like.” You explained.
“Cozy Glow? Wait, the filly who was tricked by the Storm King?! Oh no, are you telling me she accidentally befriended another villain?” Bonbon said in shock, nearly spilling her cocoa. Seems she was taking this very seriously, and immediately picked up on your nervous vibes.
“I… I don’t know. Look, I’ll be honest. I have no idea if he’s even evil. I could just be overthinking it. There hasn’t really been anything suspicious, it just seems too convenient, really. Heck, she even sent him a bench an-” But as you explained, Bonbon interrupted you.
“Anon, relax. I don’t really know what’s going on here. Take a breath, take a moment, then explain everything to me from the beginning.” Bonbon said as she placed her cup down, her ears flicking then twisting slightly towards you as she gave you an unblinking and focused stare.
You looked towards Lyra. Did she need to know too? No, don’t worry about it. You could trust her, and you could trust Bonbon. Just gather your thoughts, and explain.
And explain you did. You explained how Cozy had made friends with him, the bench, your suspicions, the meeting, and even what the Storm King had told you before you sent him off into another dimension. “...I tried not to put too much thought after a while. But after my friends got suspicious? I dunno, I suddenly felt foolish on not following up on anything. I know it could be nothing, but if I could at least find the guy before he arrives, I’d know for sure.”
Bonbon leaned back, silent, seemingly processing everything you told her. But then she closed her eyes, and let out a sigh. “Anon, I’m sorry to say, but I can’t help you.”
Lyra gasped at those words. “What?! But Bonbon, it sounds serious!”
“It sounds serious, but it’s all based on a hunch. I’ll admit, what the Storm King said is cause for alarm, the fact she never had the staff could just point to his deteriorating mind. Even then, it isn’t like I don’t want to help. I do. But if his chaos magic can’t find him without something specific, what am I supposed to do within today and tomorrow?” Bonbon then looked at you, her expression softening. “Anon, I understand how you must feel. But realistically, I can’t do anything without something to go on. You didn’t get a letter, or Cozy didn’t give an exact location, something? You can’t ask her for some more information?”
The runes… “I could, she said she found the place. I actually don’t know how, it may have been in some paper or something. The weird thing is that he made it a puzzle to send larger objects to him. Like, it was another address. I dunno, I thought it was weird he’d expect her to solve the puzzle in the first place. It made me think the place didn’t accept large stuff, and he needed it secretly sent somewhere else.”
“A puzzle?” Bonbon asked.
“Yeah, some rune stuff. She wanted to send him the bench, but he made it a puzzle to get it to him. I just cheated by sending it as if it was already solved. If I could remember the runes, I’d be able to get there myself. Ugh, I need to ask her where this place is.” You groaned, covering your face with your hooves.
Bonbon frowned, and looked towards Lyra for a moment. She then nodded to herself, and tried to be more uplifting. “Anon, let me tell you this. I’ve been thinking about it, and the odds of this turning out bad are extremely slim. Like, you’re worried that somehow, she made contact with another evil villain. Now think about this. I admit, it is weird this guy wants to meet you over Princess Twilight, but who do you know who’d want revenge on you specifically that isn’t already gone?”
Hm? Where was she getting at? You decide to answer her question, and try to figure out what she means. “Well, the Storm King is gone. And there was this other guy who is gone, who as far as I know, never made contact with Cozy. Other than that, I can’t think of anypony who’d want to get at me specifically.”
“Alright, then that greatly reduces the chances this guy is bad news. Now, what are the chances in general that a filly would somehow make contact with another villain?” Bonbon asked.
…Hm, in the human world? Not very. But… Well… Who else could she contact? Who was left? “Really low, I guess.”
“Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be ready. But do you really think that Winter Krumb is some big villain? Anon, I’m really privy to, like, every bestiary and archive in Equestria. I’ve never heard of this guy, at all.” Bonbon said in a reassuring way before giving you a warm smile. “Don’t you think you’re worrying too much?”
…Possibly? “I guess. I mean, she never had the staff. But, why me? Why does he want to see me?”
Suddenly, Lyra piped up rather enthusiastically. “I know! There are exactly two possibilities!”
“Huh?” Both you and Bonbon reacted in confusion to Lyra’s outburst.
“Well, think about it. He wants to meet Anon, right? Well, possibility one is that this guy is actually a hippogriff! We don’t know too much about them, or Mount Aris. But we do know they absolutely love Anon, right? Could just be a super duper fan that found a way through Cozy to meet him and is being coy about it.” Lyra explained.
Huh… That sounds plausible. “Okay, I can believe that. What is possibility two?”
“Well, the second possibility is that Cozy is actually evil and this is one big plan to steal your horn with help from her partner, Winter Krumb.” Lyra said, her smile a little less enthusiastic.
“Uh, I don’t know about that second one, Lyra. Anon’s horn can’t be taken from him outright. And, Anon, your dad would know immediately if your horn was taken, right?” Bonbon asked.
For some reason, even if the possibility was low, that suggestion filled you with dread. “E-erm, sorta? He kinda acts when he feels like it. But just trying to take my horn like that? Even if Cozy was evil, I could blast the both of them before they even touch me. Villains have this tendency to monologue.” You explained. “Heck, the only reason the Storm King was able to beat me the first time was because he was chaos powered with his staff arm. Something I don’t need to worry about if that’s the case.” And yet, you still felt off.
And as if Bonbon could sense it, your unnerved demeanor, she responded. “Anon, even though it’s Hearthwarming Eve, I could make some spare time and watch over you while you have this little thing with Winter Krumb and Cozy Glow. Would that make you feel better?”
Ngh, even though the whole reason you were here was to get her help, and despite your own dread, you would feel horrible if you put her through this now that you knew the chances were slim to none. How could Cozy even be evil? You scanned her long ago to see if she was older than she was, or a demon, in which nothing turned up. Dammit…
“Hey, I can’t let you go alone, Bonbon. If you’re gonna help Anon, then I’m gonna be right behind you!” Lyra said with a cheer.
Mnnngh.
“Guys, look. I really appreciate it, I really do. But, you’re right about the chances, Bonbon. And heck, it could really just be an old hippogriff who wants to meet me. I don’t want you guys to change your plans over me, especially if it’s over nothing.” You say, giving up on your crusade.
“Are you sure, Anon? I know I said chances are low, but…” Bonbon sighed, almost reluctant with the next few words she was going to say. “...When it comes to you, anything can happen. If I can help, then I’m gonna help.”
“Likewise! Friends stick together, after all.” Lyra said with yet another cheer.
“Guys…” Your mouth began to twist as you began to tear up. “C’mon, you guys are wasting your time. I really don’t want you to now that I realize how dumb I’m being.”
Bonbon stood up from the sofa, and raised her hoof as she gently planted it on your head. “Anon, you came to me, in the cold, looking for help. Now, if you really really don’t want it, I’ll respect it. But, if you want it. Not even need it, but want it, tell me now, okay?”
You looked up at Bonbon, unable to stop your tears, so moved by her. But as you stared, you suddenly felt a dash of foolishness. Your promise, your promise not to involve anyone. You came here without thinking about it, hoping for help. But now that you were getting help in the way of having your back watched, you realized all it’d really do is put Bonbon and Lyra in danger. You were more than capable, due to your power, to stop whatever it was that could be evil. But what if Bonbon was taken hostage? Or Lyra? Cozy was already a liability, so you’d have to act quickly should the situation arise. Despite you wanting to desperately say yes, you drummed up the courage… To say no. “Bonbon, thank you, really. I know I came here for help, but really? It could be over nothing. It probably is over nothing. Heck, if it is over nothing, then something could happen to insult or ruin the guy’s experience. I’ll handle this on my own, and when it goes well, I’ll teleport to you guys and give you the news, first thing.”
Bonbon stopped for a moment, then smiled as she gave you a head pat. “Okay, I’ll respect that decision. And, ngh!” Suddenly, Lyra used her magic to bring you and Bonbon together as she jumped into the mix for a big hug.
“Besties hug!” Lyra squealed as she hugged the both of you.
As the three of you hugged, you could already see hope on the horizon.
Everything would be grand.
Everything would be merry.
But then there was a knock on the door as the heavy snow began to clear up…
Bonbon looked out the window to see that the snowing had already stopped. “Oh, another visitor? Hm, wonder who it could be?”
“Wow, and right when everything cleared up too.” Lyra said as she too noticed the nicer weather outside. “Were you expecting anypony, Bonbon?”
“No, but it could just be Pinkie doing a friendly check up on everypony in town. Pinkie, is that-” But Bonbon, as she opened the door, is caught in shock when she sees who was at the other end of the door. “Erm, h-hello?”
“Hi there! I’m Cozy Glow!” There she was, the innocent filly with the blue curly mane, dressed up in a warm blueish purple coat and warm beanie. “How are you?”
Bonbon quickly looked back at you, then back at Cozy with an awkward smile. “I’m doing alright. Cozy Glow? Yeah, I’ve seen you around town. What can I do for you?”
“Oh, well, golly, there really isn’t too much I’m asking for, really. I saw Anon come in here before the little snow storm but nopony had opened the door. It looked like he was just standing there. Did he get in okay? I’m so so worried, I hope he’s okay.” Cozy said, sounding very genuinely worried.
Cozy? You got up from your seat and looked forward from behind Bonbon. Bonbon looked back at you again, and she looked uneased. You couldn’t blame her, this was very eerily sudden. You moved a little closer to her and waved. “Cozy? No no, I’m here. You said you saw me? What were you doing out in the cold?”
“Me? Well, I was heading back to my dorm room at the school to make final preperfunerations for our welcoming party. I wanted to get there before it started getting cold, but then I saw you and saw you looked really weally worried about something. I know I shouldn’t have followed, but I wanted to make sure my favorite professor was okay. When you walked up to the door, you looked so, I dunno, you looked like you wanted to talk about something really private. I kinda didn’t know what to do. I asked myself, should I try to cheer you up? Or should I leave you alone so I don’t make you angwy by asking what’s wrong? But before I could do anything else, a nice pony hurried me inside his house because he didn’t want me to get cold. I tried to tell him that you were outside too, but we both saw the door finally open. But I didn’t know if you were let in or not, and I was worried this whole time about you. I’m so so glad you’re okay and warm! I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you. I’d be the saddest filly ever, I think.” Cozy explained, in her typical adorably worried fashion.
Before you could answer, Bonbon, who still seemed suspicious, asked her a question. “Hm, I see. But you said you knew about the snowstorm, right? Why weren’t you inside earlier? You could have been in your room at any time.”
“Huh?” Cozy Glow looked up at Bonbon, and began to frown at her. “O-oh, because I wanted to get to the post office to see if Mr.Krumb had left me one last letter before he left to see us. He didn’t, which is okay! I was just wondering, that’s all. The post office was closing due to the small storm and I had already lost track of time, I had to be in a hurry.”
“He sends his mail directly to the post office?” Bonbon asked. It was like she was trying to figure something out all of a sudden. You didn’t expect her to suddenly be so suspicious.
“Yup! He’s kinda silly sometimes. He always sends his letters directly there for me to pick up, by name. And I always have to send his mail to all sorts of addresses, or he makes it a fun secret address, like with these rune thingies this one time that Anon helped me with. Do you remember that, Anon?” Cozy asked, looking back at you with a smile.
“Uhm, yeah, I remember.” Different addresses? What? “But different addresses? I thought he lived in some old folks place.”
“Oh, he kinda does. But he has his mail sent to different addresses because it’s super hard to get mail sent there directly. I should have explained that, it was hard for me to even send my first letter to him because there was no actual address for me to send it to at first. I just so happened to be lucky that our fine mail pony friends are good at finding places. W-why am I being asked so many questions? D-did I do something bad?” Cozy asked, looking back at you, then at Bonbon as tears began to slowly fill her eyes.
Bonbon began to relent. “Huh? O-oh, I was just curious. Anon was actually talking about Winter Krumb with us, I was just wondering where he lived in case he needed another friend to send mail to. Right, Anon?”
“U-um, right. Exactly right.” You said with a nod.
“Oh, that makes sense. And, erm, I’d wish we could talk more, but I really have lots to do to make sure everything is ready. I even got some super duper extra secret ingredients for the yummy food and drinks we’ll have. I gotta learn how to use them just right to make everything extra tasty, so I don’t really have a lot of time to talk.” Cozy said before giving a cheery smile and waving to you. “Bye, Anon! Bye bye, everypony!” She said as she scampered off towards the school.
Lyra just walked up from behind the both of you, and spoke. “Wow, that was really really convenient, huh?”
Bonbon narrowed her eyes as she lurched her neck some to observe Cozy for a moment before closing the door. “Yeah. I’m not one to suspect fillies, but does anypony feel like she mentioned the whole address thing on purpose? As if she heard we were trying to find Winter and was trying to throw us off?”
…Mnnngh. “How would she have heard? She wasn’t inside, and she couldn’t have been out in that storm.”
“Yeah, Bonbon. Do you really think she’d be crazy enough to hang around by the window or something? It may have not been a serious storm, but it was still really cold.” Lyra reminded her. “I mean, I admit it is super coincidental. But that happens a lot, doesn’t it? Remember when the whole town got rounded up for Cranky and Matilda’s wedding? Pretty crazy they’d all be rounded up for it at the same time, don’t you think?” Lyra said as she looked at Bonbon with worry. “She’s just a little filly and you’re acting like she’s the dangerous one.”
"Weren't you the one who s-ugh" Bonbon took a moment, then shook her head. “You know what, Lyra? You’re right.” Bonbon then looks at you, she didn’t seem as trusting in Lyra as she let on. “Unless you noticed something wrong. Did you, Anon?”
So many things. So many damned things. But listening to Lyra’s explanation of coincidence, and knowing how hard a coincidence can be only for it to blow up in one’s face, you decided to stay silent, and give it as much thought as you could. Cozy being there, the address issue suddenly being so conveniently mentioned and making it impossible to locate Krumb, her just checking up on you while you were talking about her in general was fucking weird.
None of that means anything without the staff, though. The one thing the Storm King seemed so keen on was that she had it, and without that, the rest of his words really were crazy talk. It was now so coincidental you could feel it breathing on your neck to make the misstep of accusing Cozy of foul play. “No, Lyra is right. As strange as that all was, it doesn’t mean anything if she doesn’t have the staff. It almost feels like fate is making me want to accuse her of everything. But, look, here’s what I know. All signs pointed to that staff, which she doesn’t have, and has no way of sending in the mail, ever. I think I was just really overthinking things, and I need to relax.”
Bonbon let out a tired sigh. "So do I, I think. For some reason, my instincts are shooting off left and right. But, nah, something like this is unheard of. Probably because it'd never happen in the first place."
“Wow, it almost feels like all of this was pointless.” Lyra interjected before walking up to the door and stepping outside. “Oh well, anypony want to go ice skating? I bet the lake is super thiiiiiick.” She said, wiggling her eyes at the both of you as she held up two pairs of ice skates. "Anon, you can make your own, right?"
Both you and Bonbon looked towards Lyra, exasperated. But what else were you going to do? You stressed yourself because your friends made an error, and you wasted nearly a day on nothing, while wasting Bonbon and Lyra’s time. Well, at least Lyra was okay with it.
Everything was fine, everything was going to be okay.
In fact, it was going to be Hearthwarming, the equivalent of human Christmas.
You had to wonder something about some friends you knew abroad. Some friends you hadn’t spoken to in quite some time. And in truth, didn’t go entirely well because you were worried about another villain.
Maybe it was time to just relax about doing any kind of duty, and just be a friend. A friend with the most awesome presents ever!
You used your magic to appear on the ‘Redemption Ark’, a name that, despite sounding kinda cringy, warmed your heart in a way. But hey, what was important was seeing your friends and FSDFDSFDSF.
Suddenly, you were enveloped in darkness and slid across the deck as you heard snickering around you.
“See, Tempest? I knew my new Trapper Blaster would work. The moment that rat came out of the boards, BAM, trapped in my net. Ain’t it a thing of beauty?” Grubber? Dammit, fucking hell. He was as bad as Scrappy, maybe even worse. At least Scrappy was incompetent a lot of the time and didn’t have a damned NET GUN!
“Hey! I’m not a rat! What the heck is wrong with you!” You shouted as you struggled within the net.
Tempest let out a low sigh. “Grubber, that’s Anon.”
There was silence for a moment, before Grubber said “What’s the difference?”
You could hear a small audible giggle from Tempest before she made a stern yet gentle order towards Grubber to let you free. “Grubber, let him go, that’s an order. I know you still have a problem with him, but I really don’t care about the past.”
“Eh, it ain’t even that. There’s just something about him that makes you want to throw him in a net. Like, he just frustrates everyone because he can’t make up his mind on nothing. It’s annoying!” Grubber explained with a groan. However, after that, all you could hear was silence for a moment, up until… “Alright, alright, alright. Well, let me show you what this baby can also do.” Suddenly, the net around you opened up as it got sucked right into Grubber’s gun-looking Trapper Blaster. “Nifty, eh? Comes out fast, goes in fast. And they said a retractable line was a bad idea.”
“Ngh, geez! What was that for?!” You shouted at Grubber, literally hopping mad.
“Relax, Short Stuff. Like I was telling Tempest, I thought you were a rat. Anyway, what are you doing here? Because if you came to bother Tempest with more of your Storm King stuff, then I have some words for you.” Grubber said, crossing his little hedgehog arms as he gave you a stink eye.
God… Well, actually, you couldn’t resent him for that one. That was the last time you visited, no doubt it caused a lot of anxiety. You couldn’t imagine how much worse it would have been had they realized how badly you fucked up on that to begin with. “Relax, geez. I come in peace, okay? I just thought I’d come to spread a little holiday cheer.”
“Holiday cheer?” Tempest said plainly, yet a little surprised. “You mean Hearthwarming?”
You nodded, smirking just a tad, happy to see Tempest knew what you were talking about. “The very same.”
Tempest gave a little smirk herself before looking at Grubber. “Grubber, can you go see if Capper’s packed?”
“Huh?” Grubber looked up at Tempest for a moment. But the moment she gave him a nod, he seemed to have understood what she wanted. “Alright, I’ll go get him. But you let me know the moment he causes you trouble, got it?”
Tempest nodded back at him, and without any other word, he went below deck to check on the cat. Tempest then looked to you, and looked back as the breeze passed by. Hm? As you looked to where she was facing, you could see a familiar town you hadn’t been in a awhile. Klugetown. Seems the ship was sitting at the docks. “You really came for a Hearthwarming visit?”
You nodded, giving a shrug. “I have. That a bad thing? I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright and stuff.”
“We're fine. Coincidentally, I was actually telling Capper and Grubber about the holiday about a few weeks ago. It’s why we’re here, actually. Thought it’d be nice to just rent out a place and just not worry about anything for a while, but then Capper decided to show he was already in the spirit by offering to stay in his home.” Tempest said, staring at the town a bit more before looking back at you with a warm smile. “I was even thinking of paying Ponyville a visit. See you, the crusaders, and Twilight and her friends”
“Wow, wasn’t expecting that. Coming out of your shell, huh?” You asked, feeling pretty glad to hear that.
“I’d say so. Can’t be brooding and hurting over the past forever, but then again, I guess having friends here, and out there, has made me realize it’s about the pony I can be, and not the pony I was. But hey, I don’t want to talk about that. How is everything with you?” Tempest asked.
“Doing good, actually. Recently reformed the queen of the changelings, got over my own anxieties, and been trying to be a better friend. I’m still sorry about worrying you about the Storm King that one time.” You said apologetically.
“I’m not worried about it, and neither should you. As for Grubber, don’t worry about what he said. He’s become protective of me, and does his best to try to keep the past out of our lives. Well, unless it has to do with me kicking ass.” Tempest said to you with a wink.
You laughed at that, if a bit awkwardly. You hadn’t realized she also became taken with some human vocabulary. “Ha! Well, it’s actually nice to see you like this. I was worried too, actually. I’m really glad to see you, well, cheerier.”
“Yeah, me too. Speaking of, you said you came to spread some holiday cheer? What did you have in mind?” Tempest asked, curious as to what you meant.
“Oh, just wanted to give you guys something I thought you all might like. See, said queen of the changelings has really gotten into watching human media. You know, movies and stuff. I thought you guys might want a collection to watch during downtime here on the ship.” You said as you gave your horn a little bump.
“Hm, movies? Been awhile since I’ve seen one.” Tempest said as she pondered on it a bit. “I’d appreciate something like that. Give us something to do while we’re here”
“Yeah! Trust me, got a lot of good stuff you’d all probably enjoy. Dark stuff, lighthearted stuff, action, romance, even military if you’re curious.” You say, moving up to her with a sly smile. “Trust me, you’ll love it.”
Tempest, at first, seemed a tad annoyed at you for some reason, but then suddenly, she gave you a creepy grin of her own and lowered her head to be directly in front of yours. “Got anything gory? Specifically about hero colts?”
Suddenly your ears folded as you awkwardly chuckled. “You mean, like, colts kicking ass?”
Tempest’s grin suddenly became even crueler, without her saying a word.
You gulped, creeped out by her stare. “A-are you serious?”
Tempest held on to her grin as long as she could, before breaking out in a laugh and giving you a pat on the head. “Oh, no, Anon. C’mon, that’s too much. You were just being a bit too pushy, y’know? I already said I give your movies a watch”
Pushy? Agh, almost sounds like Chrysalis’s entire patronizing argument. Dammit, alright, aaalllllright, you gotta get better at that. “Aha, sorry. But, uh, okay. Erm…” You looked forward, seeing the dingy, dank town of Klugetown and wondering why they’d even dock here. “Say, why did you guys bother stopping here at all, anyway? Why didn’t you come straight to Ponyville?”
Tempest gave a tap on the deck as she gave a little huff. “Hm, well, I don’t think the ponies there would be ready for what is essentially a doomship making anchor just outside their town.”
…Right, that would cause a mass panic. “So you’re just going to travel through the badlands on your own?”
Tempest nodded “Yes. We have plenty of supplies, more than enough firepower, and Grubber and I are used to much more dangerous treks. As for Capper, he’s a drifter, something like this will be no trouble for him.”
Well then. You couldn’t really argue anything about that if she was that sure about it. Not like you could say anything about her combat skills either, she’s dangerous, possibly even more dangerous than you. “Hm, alright. Ah, so let me ask about your travels then. How has that gone? Anything interesting or cool?”
“Same as usual, either we weren’t welcome or we were allowed to help rebuild homes and relations with those I hurt. I did have an interesting encounter with a society of civilized yeti in the northern lands.” Tempest said.
Civilized yeti? “There are civilized yeti?”
Tempest nodded “Why wouldn’t there be? Places outside of Equestria have quite a few interesting races. These yeti were peaceful monks the Storm King had subjugated and then completely forgot about because he didn’t like how cold their home was. They were very accepting of us despite former relations. As for what makes it interesting? Well, they taught me a thing or two about the power of my horn. Not to get into any specifics, but it being the way it is doesn't allow me to cast spells. But, if I were to hone what they call the 'base component' to all spells, and temper my mind with meditation and overcome my fears, I would be 'capable of so much more'. Well, hm, that still doesn't really explain much. how about I just give a demonstration?” Tempest suddenly loosened up as her broken horn sparked. She seemed almost excited to show off, even if she held her stoic demeanor.
“Sure, but what exactly do you mean by 'capable of so much more'?” You ask, ignorant as to what she was talking about.
Suddenly, without answering your question, Tempest tapped her hooves to a rhythm on the deck floor. There was silence for a moment, until suddenly Grubber appeared bursting through the doors that led below deck, holding a slim-looking bazooka. “Coming! Oh yeah, it’s ‘show off’ time!”
What in the?! “What just happened?”
“Private code. Grubber suggested it in case there was trouble on the ship and verbal communication wasn’t possible or suggested. Capper has yet to learn all the tap codes, but that’s alright, I mostly do it because it makes Grubber happy.” Tempest said as she walked towards the starboard end of the ship and waited for Grubber to join her side.
Grubber rushed past you and towards Tempest’s side as he prepared the bazooka and aimed it upwards. “Let me guess. Still don’t want to fight him, huh? Well, he should still see that he’s nothing compared to you. You ready, Tempest?”
“Fire when ready.” Tempest said with a slight chuckle. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by Grubber’s insistence that she was the better pony, if only because she was rather proud of her own skills and wanted to show them off.
“Keep your eyes on the clay pigeons, pipsqueak! You’re about to see some real fireworks!” Grubber aims, and fires two discs side by side. “Double shot!”
Tempest, with zero effort, shot one spark towards a disc, obliterating it as her shot bounced off to obliterate the second one.
“Diamond formation!” Grubber shouted as he shot four discs in a diamond pattern.
Tempest aimed towards the center of the diamond and fired. When the spark reached the center of the discs, it exploded into a multitude of bolts that destroyed every disc.
“Line formation!” Grubber shouted, firing multiple times in a straight line.
Tempest hesitated for a moment, aiming her horn as she studied her shot, then fired an instantaneous beam that destroyed every disc in an instant.
“Bowling formation” Grubber shouted, firing a spread formation of discs set like a bunch of pins from a game of bowling.
Tempest leans back, and juts forward, shooting a bolt that hits the lone disc dead center, splitting the bolt into two bolts, and so on and so forth, until every disc was destroyed.
Grubber quickly slaps the end of the bazooka off, revealing a huge hole, as he yells out. “AND THE FINALE!”. He fires once more, sending him rolling back as a plethora of discs fly forward.
Tempest backs up, then jumps as she slings her head around, firing a heavy ball of magic that flies forward and starts exploding like a mix of flak and shotgun pellets. The explosion of bolts paraded forward as entire legions of discs were destroyed, lighting up the sky like fireworks, until there was nothing left.
Holy fuck…
Holy goddamn, that was amazing. That was awesome.
You were sooooo damn glad she wasn’t that good when you fought her the first time, because you would have died.
You suddenly felt someone leaning heavily on your side. When you turned your head, it was Grubber, grinning as he lazily waved his arm around before pointing at Tempest. “Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. You would have been dead meat if she zapped you like that when you first met.”
Guh! “N-No!”
Grubber stepped up and turned to face you, smirking as he crossed his arms. “Mhmm, sure. I can see it in your eyes, Anon, you know you’re beat. Oh, and hey?” Suddenly, Grubber punched forward, making you flinch as he stops his fist right in front of your face. He then jumps back, and points at you as he laughs. “Haha! Made you flinch!”
Ngh, grrr! You didn’t come here to be mocked. You stepped forward menacingly, and only stopped when you heard a rather chill voice behind you.
“Relax, Anon, stay cool. You know how he gets. Just let it roll off your shoulder, alright?” It was Capper, donned in a warm red jacket, as he stood behind you, paws in his pockets. “Hey, Grubber, I would cut it out if I were you. If Anon turns you into a pin cushion or something, well, ain’t nothing we can do about it, right, Tempest?”
“He’s right, Grubber. And you know I don’t approve of you trying to start a fight like that.” Tempest reminded him as she looked towards Capper. “Everything ready?”
“Yup. All we gotta do is swing by towards the dockmaster and pay him to get our crates moved to my place. We’re gonna have to count Anon as a stowaway though and let them know we don’t need the removal service.” Capper told her as he looked at you with a warm smile. “By the way, hey, Anon.”
“Uh, hey. What do you mean count me as a stowaway?” You were confused on that one.
“They mean that they’ll make us pay extra if they think you're another crew member. Don’t worry about it though, your skin is safe with us as long as you don't cause any trouble.” Grubber said as he reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a bag of coins. “I’ll handle it. You just look scared, got it?”
Uhhhhh. “Okay…” You said, blank faced as Grubber suddenly shouted at you.
“Hey, I mean it! I’m being serious here. This ain’t some wuss pony town, okay? The Storm King may be gone, but these guys will cause trouble with us if you don’t act like you’re some stowaway, got it?” Grubber said with a snarl.
“Alright, alright!” You suddenly began shaking and made big scared eyes. “How’s this?”
“Good” Grubber said with a thumbs up. “Now keep that up when you get off the ship, they’re gonna want a good look at you.” Grubber then began to walk towards the port side of the ship, where a plank down to the docks awaited him.
“Geez, they charge to beat up stowaways?” You remember Klugetown being a bit of a shithole, but goddamn, what was that about?
“It isn’t that bad, they used to pay crews to let them beat up stowaways under the Storm King’s rule. To the people here, charging for it is an incentive for them not to get violent.” Tempest explained. “Basically a mercy”
“A mercy, huh? Sounds like a lose-lose situation for the stowaway to me.” You said, actually feeling a tinge of worry of there being trouble.
“Well, the thing is, they’re really adamant on the whole payment thing. If they ever find out you beat up the stowaway without paying, they find you, and they beat you up.” Capper explained. “I know, I know, it sounds out of this world. But it’s better than how it was before.”
“Yeah, but what if the stowaway wasn’t a stowaway and they find out? What then?” You asked, deeply curious on the matter.
“No idea, but I would just assume they get violent with the entire crew and repossess their belongings as their own. Given you are technically a stowaway, even if last minute, there shouldn’t be any issues. As mentioned, just look worried and everything will be fine, we’ll explain that we plan to drop you off from wherever you came from.” Tempest explained.
“Hey!” Suddenly, stomping up towards the ship’s deck, was a huge purple-furred beast-like thing with two vertically raised sharp-looking ears. He was extremely burly, so burly that he literally walked on his fists. He wore a safety cap, and literally has a clipboard attached at the side of his palm. “I ‘ear you blokes gots some sort of stowaway here. Well, we ain’t havin’ that today. Last crew tried to pass off a whole half of themselves as stowaways. Had to bruise our knuckles on that one.”
Shit! You thought you had to present yourself at some sort of kiosk or something. The guy showed up and already looked ready to pull off some heads. However, you suddenly let out a squeak-like noise as Capper picked you up from behind and held you towards the beast worker.
“Hey, hey, you’re making something out of nothing. As our hedgehog friend must have already told you, we only have one stowaway. See? Just a cute colt here that just wanted to be a pirate.” Capper said as he gave a confident smirk towards the beast worker.
Shit, okay, that was your cue! You made a big wide-eyed face towards the beast and swished your right foreleg about. “Erm, avast ye, landlubbers! This silly cat thing thinks me some mere colt! But I’m a pirate! Trying to find the biggest candy treasure ever! Erm, would you like to be my first mate?” You asked the beast worker, as you gave him the most adorable and innocent smile you could muster.
“First mate? Well, ain’t no one ever asked me that before…” Suddenly, he began to tear up as he looked over at Tempest. “And this little fella just jumped on yer ship?”
Tempest easily kept her cool as she nodded. “Yes, and as endearing as he is, we unfortunately are now responsible for finding his mother in Ponyville, something we can’t exactly do at the moment.”
“Right, right” The beast worker said as he sniffed and tried to calm himself. “Warms me ‘eart to see an adventurous little one, reminds me of me when I was a pup. Alright, alright, our fee is quadrupled to give the little rascal the lesson of his life.”
Holy fuck, that sounded more wrong and made you clench your legs more than anything else.
“That’s quite a bargain, but I think being away from his mother is punishment enough. Just look at him, he simply can’t keep his composure. He’s scared.” Capper said as he gave you a gentle shake.
Christ, considering the thoughts in your head from that guy’s words, it did make you tear up at the horrible thought this guy might rip your balls off or something. “M-mommy? I-I miss youuuuuu!”
“No, stop!” The beast worker cried out as he let himself down on his smaller feet as he cried, covering his face with his meaty furred arms. “The poor kid. I remember when I ran off to be a pirate! I ain’t ever seen my mother ever again! And now I work as a dockmaster! When I coulda been a painter, I could. Agh! Ngh! Whaaaaa!” The beast worker suddenly just started bawling his damn eyes out, crying nonstop.
All of you cringed, even Tempest. Capper took a moment to gently put you down, as you all stepped around the beast worker and made way off the ship.
It was as dank as it ever was, with some of the buildings looking more or less dilapidated and the merchants sneaky. Even in the winter time, it looked the same. Just colder.
“...So as I was saying. I got the whole place renovated, personally, before our last go around. Grubber, you asked why I care so much about this place? I’ll tell you why, it’s where my ‘Redemption Arc’ started.” Capper said. He was stepping ahead of the group, taking strides left and right as he made cool gestures. He was excited to show off his home to everyone, apparently having it prepped from the last time he was here.
But you hung back next to Tempest, you were more curious about what that whole display was about. It was damned cool, but it seemed unlike her to just show off like that. “Hey, Tempest, can I ask you something?”
Tempest was just following along, she wasn’t really showing off any kind of excitement, nor disappointment, or any interest really. She was just neutral. “Hm? What is it?”
You leaned a little closer, and asked away. “That whole shooty disc thing you did back at the ship. What was all that about? You mentioned yetis and stuff.”
Tempest actually looked pretty annoyed with that question. “It’s called ‘having fun’, Anon. What? I can’t show off?”
Guh!! You weren’t expecting that answer. “I-I mean, I just. I just thought it was super cool, but I just wasn’t used to it.”
“Anon, we haven’t seen each other in some time. As for the yeti, well, look.” Tempest sighed. “I just want to better myself, I was shown a path I could follow, to forgive myself, to move forward. But, even with the advice, I was finding it difficult. Until I realized something.” Tempest looked over at Grubber. “Grubber, he didn’t have to stay with me after the Storm King was defeated. He never ever stopped believing in me, he never had a negative thought about me.” Tempest chuckled at that “Actually, I think the fact I won’t kick your ass is the only negative thought about me he ever had. But I digress. My point is, my time as Tempest Shadow, it might be coming to an end. And the time to relax, let go, and be the Fizzlepop I was meant to be is coming. Is it now? No, but soon. So, that enough for you?”
Well, damn, seems she went through a real redemption arc of her own. Bah, Anon, come on now. Be happy, she did it on her own! She didn’t need you, or Twilight, or anything like that to progress towards a full redemption. Thank god, actually, because if she decided she was going to kill someone to reach an ultimatum, you may not be able to stop her. “Yeah! Erm, yeah! That’s awesome! Sorry, I just, well? I mean, if I could explain how much effort it was to help redeem my friend, Chrysalis, it’d probably be enough to fill several books.”
“Hm? That rough, huh? Well, I guess I can understand. I also came to realize that I don’t really know too much about your day-to-day to criticize either. Go on any wild adventures lately?” Tempest asked, in an attempt to move away from the subject and stay casual.
“Hm? Not really. Although, I kinda have to really apologize if I offended you earlier. I’ve been dealing with some self-reflection lately. Y’know, lack of trust, and uh… What some would describe as ‘ego’ issues. I mean…” You let out a bit of a stressful chuckle. “There was this time I thought I saw the living embodiment of the spirit of harmony, and it kinda made me realize that I’m, well, a bit of an asshole. I don’t want to sound too wimpy here, but I’ve been spending my time trying to learn the ‘Magic of Friendship’ the pony way so I can better myself.”
Tempest seemed intrigued by your words “Better yourself the pony way, huh? That doesn’t sound like you at all. Whatever that spirit was, even if whatever it told you was enough to make you want to go that route, it doesn’t sound like one compatible with you.”
Wut? “What do you mean by that? I was a jerk, now I’m trying to be less of one.”
“And that’s fine, that’s not what I’m saying. What I am saying is being a ‘pony’ doesn’t seem like your style. If you acted like a pony back when we first met, then you would have been folding like everyone else. I saw that side of you, that crazy side, that as dark hearted as it seemed on the inside, was just an insane will to save those you care about. For example, if you didn’t manage to play your mind games with me, and used my old desire to restore my horn, the Storm King may have succeeded in his plans. There is no pony I know of that would have had the guts to face me down like that. To tell you the truth, the only other way I could see things going the right way would be if he never had that chaotic power-up he had at all. I would have been able to face him down, face-to-face, if that was the case. But that didn’t happen, and I think it’d be a shame if that ‘Anon’, the ‘Hero Colt’ who saved Equestria, just became another pony. Bettering yourself is fine, but don’t ever lose that bite, and never give up on your instincts. Got that?” Tempest explained, before cracking a reassuring smile.
…Well, damn. You weren’t expecting such sagely advice from Tempest. Well, technically she got the final blow on the Storm King. But, er, you think you saw her point. “Y-yeah. I mean, I guess maybe that’s why Chrysalis may have been a little more annoyed with me than usual. Maybe she just saw I was losing that bite and was trying to bully me into toughening up.”
“I wouldn’t know anything about that. But if that’s the case, it sounds like she’d agree with me then.” Tempest, upon finishing those words, began to recognize the street she was on. She looked past you, towards Capper. “Capper, we’re close, right?”
“Right you are, Tempest! As I was just explaining to Grubber here, home sweet home is right around the corner.” Capper said as he double pointed towards the end of the street with a cool grin, then began to adjust his coat as his stride became more smooth. “Trust me, Tempest, you’re gonna pur when you feel how soft my new velvet pillows are. They’re so big, and so soft, you’d wonder if there’s anything outside that slice of bliss.” Capper said with excitement as he span once then bowed. You all reached the end of the street and closed his eyes, continuing his bow, as he waved his arm forward and suddenly spoke in a rich and suave tone. “Welcome, dear friends, to our little place in paradise.”
“Uhhhh, I mean, to you maybe. But a giant litter box isn’t what I’d call paradise. Unless I ate limburger cake that day, then watch out! Because this would be the place to be, just not for anyone else.” Grubber said as he stood in confusion.
“What are you talking about, man? This ain’t nDASGFEASDS” Suddenly, the moment Capper's eyes saw what Grubber was looking at, his fur, and even black suave hair, puffed out like it was hit with lightning as he screamed with a cat-like screech. “My pad! My little place in paradise!” Capper’s home, his ‘manor’, was nothing but rubble. He crawled on his knees to the broken place, and ran his paws through the smaller stones of his destroyed home. “What happened?!”
You never saw Capper lose his cool like this. He was a mess, he was just staring at it, broken. He didn’t know what to do, and had entered a sudden deep despair. Grubber, feeling empathetic, walked up to Capper and stood on his toes to pat at Capper’s shoulder. “There, there, buddy. Hey, look, how about we officially make this a litter box? Huh? Imagine, you’d always have a place to go and nobody would be able to tell you nothing about it. And that’s the dream, isn’t it? To go the moment you need to and grossing out everyone at the same time.”
Capper just silently looked at Grubber, then as his eyes began to fill with tears, he started to cry into his paws. Grubber once again consoled him by rubbing his shoulder. Holy fuck, what even happened? Capper was shattered, and you felt pretty damn awful about it. It really stung to see the usual cool and confident cat suddenly broken like this. However, when you looked over at Tempest, she was just staring as if nothing happened at all. “Tempest? Uhhh, erm, do you not notice Capper is traumatized right now?”
“I noticed. Are you going to tell me you didn’t think to use your horn to repair the damage?” Tempest said, looking at you with a militaristic look.
Woah… you, damn. Did she just figure out that solution the moment she saw the problem?! It already threw you off. “I, um, could. But if you remember, it can’t just be a s-” But Tempest cuts you off right there.
“It needs to be chaotic in some way. Yes, I remember. Repairing it directly might cause the pieces to be misaligned, or cause everything to be put into place without the pieces actually melding. So why not chronologically reverse it? Just reverse the area itself through time to its former state. Any sort of time magic, I’d assume, is chaotic within itself due to its very nature to cause inconsistencies.” Tempest said to you, plainly, before giving you a gentle grin.
W-woah… “How long did it take you to think that up?”
“Milliseconds, Anon, milliseconds. Even if I want to separate myself from my old self, it doesn’t mean some of what I learned isn’t useful. How do you think I dodged all your lasers during our first fight? I didn’t even need to react to all of them, I only needed to calculate the trajectory of the relevant ones.” Tempest said, actually holding back a giggle before she straightened herself up and pointed towards the ruined home. “Proceed.”
Well, fuck. Tempest was fucking on point. It was actually pretty damn scary. You could only assume she knew you had charges left, or she felt confident that you did. You did, you had two left, but still. Makes you wonder what would happen if she had the horn again at this point, if she could actually wield it properly, or even use it better than you can. Well, no one can use your horn better than you. You were just awesome! Bah, either way, you pop on the horn and produce a large cherry bomb with a fuse and timer attached to it.
“A literal time bomb?” Tempest asked, looking impressed. “I’m guessing it’ll revert time within its blast radius?”
“Close, I don’t actually want to affect time, it could turn messy. What this baby will do is essentially reverse every action back to the point everything was alright. The chaos portion will be how cool it’ll look and how many undos are actually required.” You explain as you use your magic to pull back the bomb and prepare to throw.
“Hm, then perhaps we’ll see and prevent what caused all this in the first place. Destruction like this isn’t normal, a place doesn’t just fall apart into tiny pieces like this.” Tempest surmised as she took a breath and yelled out. “Capper, Grubber! To me, now!”
Grubber turns towards Tempest and immediately salutes. He then brings both his hands on Capper’s sides and lifts him up above his head as he rushes towards Tempest’s side.
You look towards Tempest, she looks back. You explain to her what to do once you've thrown the bomb. “Just hit it with your magic before it lands, and it’ll do the rest.”
Tempest then looks at you and nods. You prepare to toss the bomb at the rubble, take aim, and throw it. The moment it begins to drop, Tempest shoots the bomb with her magic, detonating it. Immediately, the rubble and the area around it is caught in a purple glow as everything seems to flow backwards, as if it really was going back in time. But what you expected to be the building suddenly reassembled, there was instead an implosion of shrapnel and rubble as the building suddenly reforms in an instant. Not only that, but another bomb reforms from the shrapnel, with the fuse to it suddenly growing then fizzling out as a weasel with a scarred eye and a ninja-like suit appears, he was about as small as you, stepping on his tip toes as he prepared to light the fuse with a match. Behind him was a huge bag, with many treasures within it.
“And with zhis! I deztroy the evidence! Hehehehohoho-ho? Wait a zecond.” The weasel suddenly became very confused. His accent, was it a freaking faux German, or French accent? Oh god, what were you all watching? “I remember thiz bomb, I never forget a bomb.” The weasel said to himself as he looked back to see the bag. “And my loot, I could have zworn I zold thiz loot! All of thiz, so familiar.” The weasel said to himself as he rushed to the door of the home and nibbles the wood. “And thiz wood, I have tazted it before. Curiouzer and curiozer…” The weasel said to himself as he pondered, then shrugged. “Ah well, who carez about pozzible temporal dizturbancez when you can rezell all the loot!”
You had to be kidding. So this is what happened?! This weasel motherfucker looted the place and blew it up? And that fucking accent, somehow you could feel Rarity finding it a disgusting parody of elegance. “Hey! Put that match down!” You shouted.
“What?” The weasel looked over to your group, then looked rather disgusted by the sight. “What iz thiz? A band of clownz? Who darez speak like that to me? The glorious Le Weasele?”
OH good god, even the name was insulting to the senses. “I do, you rat bastard! Put the match down or I’ll fuck you up! You hear me?!”
“Rat?! I am no rat! I am-” But then, suddenly, Tempest interrupts him in an annoyed tone.
“Yes, we know, I get your little gimmick. Do what the colt says, or else we will fuck you up. Trust me, that is a level of destruction you can’t possibly fathom.” Tempest said, her look stoic as her horn sparkled. “I also want you to know that I hope you don’t do what he says.”
Capper just looked utterly confused, he pointed towards his home and asked. “Uh, what’s happening?”
Grubber pulled out his trapper blaster and looked it over as he boredly explained. “Eh, Anon actually did something cool and fixed your house. Also, this is the guy who blew it up.” Grubber finished as he cocked his blaster.
“Oh.” Capper said as he licked his paw and slicked up his hair and fur with one broad stroke as he stood up with a cool sense of confidence and looked over at Le Weasele. He then looks at his paw as he produces a set of claws. It was almost like he was never crying at all. Guy was cool enough to fix himself in a literal second just to continue his suave demeanor. “Y’know, I don’t usually condone violence, it kills the vibes. But this place means a lot to me, it is where I began my trip to learning the magic of friendship. So I’ll do you a solid and tell you that you really should do what the colt said. I really suggest this, trust me, no one is responsible for what happens next.”
“You dare threaten me?! Le Weasele?! The gloriouz Le Weasele?! I’ll let you know that I havez the match! One falze move anWETGFEWA” And suddenly, Le Weasele is blasted with a net from Grubber.
“Bla, bla, bla. Geez, you’re really annoying.” Grubber said, moving his hand like a mouth to mock him. He then looks at you with a grin and retracts the line to pull Le Weasele closer. “Yo, Anon, normally I’d want Tempest to have the honor. But this is pretty much all thanks to you, so have fun.”
Well… That was quick. “Uh, erm, I mean. I was really more just threatening him. I didn’t want to waste my last charge of the day on this guy.”
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANZ! BUT IT SOUNDZ LIKE YOU THINK LE WEASELE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOUR-OWWW! OWW!” Le Weasele whined as Grubber gave him a kick.
“Shaddap! The place isn’t yours, buddy! Those things? They ain’t yours either. I’m usually not this much of a nice guy, but it seems our colt friend here is gonna let you off. I ain’t though, not unless you apologize to my friend here for wrecking his house.” Grubber said as he gave Capper a thumbs up.
“You won’t do anything to me! You’re juzt a couple of ponies, a rat thing, and a cat! And unlezz you didn’t hear me, I am THE GLORIOUS LE WEASELE!” Le Weasele yelled from the net.
“Look, I’m going to be cool with you, Le Weasele. I don’t even need an apology. But I just want you to know that this place is very special to me. Don’t you have any friends?” Capper asked, suddenly seeming rather sympathetic to this guy.
“Save it, you facetiouz feline! I am well verzed in many a culture, including poniez and their dizgusting friend habitz. Your threatz? They are but empty! Bezidez, I know I have already robbed this place already! You have already lost!” Le Weasele boasted as he bounced in the net.
“Holy shit, you’re an asshole.” You say, disgusted with him. Like fuck, was this guy even successful? Okay, maybe he was, he did rob and blow the place up originally. But fucking christ, he wasn’t much against you all.
“I don’t know what that means, but I agree. Do you know who you’re dealing with?” Grubber said, starting to hype himself up, as he always enjoyed announcing Tempest. “Forget the colt, forget the cat. You are in the presence of the Storm King’s former second in command! The one who made his near takeover possible. The one who crushed civilization after civilization on her own! Tempest Shadow!”
Geez, couldn’t he have announced it any other way? You thought it would remind her of the bad times and she’d relent a little. But she didn’t, she just stayed stoic and waited.
“Tempezt Zhadow? THE Tempezt? I-I didn’t recognize you. W-what would you pozzibly want with me?” Le Weasele asked, as the net suddenly began to shake.
“Nothing. But I am growing tired of you. So you have two options. You will renounce your ways, here and now. Or I’ll rip your intestines out and feed them to you. And trust me, I’ll make sure I cook them first. And don’t think you’ll be able to just continue your thieving ways either. I hear everything, I know everything, and I will hunt you down, just like everyone before you, and make due on my words. How does that sound?” Tempest asked, never breaking her tone or stare once.
Capper shivered from those words. “Y’know, I can see you got this handled. I’m just gonna go grab my stuff and try to arrange everything the Capper way.” Capper said as he smiled nervously and stepped away from the situation.
Geez, nice. Welp, you could tell you had an influence on how far she can take things to be ‘persuasive’. Like hell, who wouldn't be scared of that threat? Especially since she had the power to back it up.
But for some reason, there was no movement from the net. Grubber, who wasn’t stunned in the slightest by Tempest’s words, casually gives the netted weasel a kick. Still nothing. “Hold on, give me a sec.” Grubber said as he fully retracted the net into his Trapper Blaster. Le Weasele was near pure white, eyes rolled back, fallen unconscious from fear.
“Hm, I think he’ll remember this.” Tempest said as she gave a little smirk before looking over to Grubber with a nod. “Grubber, I’m going to take Anon with me so we can help Capper set up. Do you mind dropping this weasel off somewhere? Don’t do anything mean, just somewhere where he isn’t bothering anyone.”
“Hey, no problem.” Grubber effortlessly slings Le Weasele along his shoulder, then salutes as he begins to walk off. “I’ll bring back some cake for you guys when I get back. Gonna get some for you too, Anon, you did pretty good helping Capper like that.” Grubber said as he gave you a grinning nod.
“Hey, you too, dude. I swear, if I had to keep listening to him talk, I would have just blasted him.” You say.
“Tell me about it, so annoying. Anyway, I’m gonna go before I get too mushy about you. I gotta keep the status quo, you know? Alright, Le Stupidle… Face. Time to drop ya off.” Grubber said as he walked down the street with Le Weasele in tow.
“See what I mean? Grubber is always on point, even if he makes a mistake. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I wasn’t bothered by what he said. It was appropriate to the situation.” Tempest said as she let out a bit of a chuckle. “That was actually kind of fun though. Don’t you think so?”
You know what? Despite how initially annoying it was, that was fun. It was actually cool to see Grubber just net the guy, and for Tempest to follow it up with that kind of threat. “Fuck yeah it was.”
“Good to hear, Anon, good to hear. Now come on, before it starts getting dark.” Tempest said as she hurried you along.
You just smiled and stood there for a moment before following her. Yeah, she didn’t need you. Tempest managed to get to this point on her own. And trying to do what you did with Chrysalis with her at any point would just be an asinine move to pull. Just… Relax, Anon. Just have fun.
“...So I let him go, right? And get this, he recognizes me too. Calls me Tempest’s ‘Le goon’. That’s right, I am her ‘le goon’, and I make a cool pose and tell him that he better never forget. And then? He freaks out, right? Thinking I mean I’m gonna rip him to shreds or something. So, if he’s gonna be that afraid, I tell him that he better pay back or return everything he ever stole to everyone he’s ever ripped off… Or else I’ll rip him apart. I mean, if he thinks I was gonna rip him to pieces, I might as well give him a real reason to think that.” Grubber said with a shrug as he sunk into the huge cashmere pillow he was on.
Capper’s place, a rustic and kinda creaky sort of place indeed. Although the place looked better than what it looked like last time you were here. With the new huge pillows, holes boarded up, and it not looking as dirty and dusty as it once was, you could still tell the place wasn’t exactly up to code. Though, given Capper had poured his heart in fixing the place up as is, you really couldn’t criticize.
“Using infamy to spread harmony, that’s a new one.” Capper said as he swirled his paw in a mug of warm milk he had, before giving his claw a lick. “Mmmm mmm, can’t go wrong with a classic.”
“Sometimes it has its perks. Good work, Grubber.” Tempest said as she sat militaristically on her pillow, giving Grubber a gentle nod.
“Hey, it was no sweat.” Grubber then looked at you. At first, you thought he was going to make a backhanded remark, which made you tense. But he only smirked and pulled out a slice of cake as he tossed it towards you. “Catch, Anon. You deserve this double fudge cake I was keeping. Taking on Tempest is just stupid. But helping out a friend? I respect that.”
You catch the slice of cake in your hooves, and give it a quick look over. Despite Grubber keeping it in his pocket, it didn’t seem damaged or gross in the least. Guy was really serious about keeping his cakes clean. As for the fact he even gave it to you? Huh, you didn’t think he became that ‘friend-centric’. Hm, he wasn’t an asshole after all… Mostly. “Thanks. Hey, uh, Grubber? Can I ask you a question?” Since he was seeming so friendly, you were actually curious about the weapons he was using. He hadn’t used anything like that before, and you were wondering what it was all about. Especially since he seemed so proficient in their use.
“Hmmm…” Grubber rubbed at his chin as he jokingly gave it some thought, before he rested his back on the pillow with a smirk. “Sure, why not? Ask away.”
“Those weapons you have. Did you make them? Or buy them? Like, did you always use stuff like that?” You asked.
“Oh, interested, are ya? Nah, I didn't use anything like this before. Let me tell you how I got these though. See, being Tempest’s number one hench, I gotta be prepared for any and all situations. At first, if a weapon interested me, like say…” Grubber reached into his pocket and pulled out a knuckle duster that sparked with lightning “...These spark fists. I paid for 'em. But then I was like, hey, I’m maintaining everything on the ship and doing all the repairs, why can’t I make my own stuff? So, wherever we landed, if there was some scrap or parts around I could use, I got them to make stuff that would be wicked useful. And if there’s something that looks really good? I’ll just buy it, trade, whatever. I got an arsenal, y’know? From bazookas to box traps to my nifty trapper blaster, I’m prepared for anything!” Grubber said as he hopped to his feet and whipped out his trapper blaster to spin around his finger like a gunslinger. “Oh yeah!”
Huh, that’s actually neat. “That’s pretty cool. So, what would you say is the best weapon you got?”
“Best weapon? Hm, never gave it that much thought. Well, I do have this cool ship-shredder I gotta install. Just shoots super strong bolts of power from the end, just like Tempest can with her horn, and rips enemy ships to shreds. Y’know, that’s why it’s called the ship-shredder. That would be my favorite. Haven’t even used it yet, but just the thought of blowing away jerks who try to blow us away just makes me salivate.” Grubber said as he flexed his grubby little claws, a crazed look as drool leaked from his maw.
Capper came up from behind and gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Chill out, Grubber, you ain’t that bloodthirsty, are you?”
Grubber looked up at Capper with a sheepish smile, and brought his fingers closely together in a pinch “A little.”
Capper chuckled and took a sip of his warm milk. “Cool, a little is cool.” Capper then shifted his eyes to you, and plopped down on a pillow. “So, Anon. You got me thinking like a curious kitten, what was that gift you mentioned?”
“Oh, yeah!” Haha! Here we go! Almost forgot about it! You slap on your horn and look up at the ceiling. Hmmm, perhaps four giant screens that can be seen in any direction, connected to a pillar, with all devices needed below to make adjustments, with every movie and tv show saved within without having to get any DVDs or anything like that. Given the weasel, making this thing unstealable was probably the best bet here. “You guys ready for this? This is going to be the coolest thing you’ve ever seen ever.”
“I don’t know about that, but like I said, I’m curious. So, Capper? Are you ready for the world of human movies?” Tempest asked as she looked over at him with her usual stoic expression.
Capper shrugged “What can it hurt? Besides, this place is meant to be a place to chill out, be cool, and take cat naps. Hit it, Anon, show me what you got!”
“Oh yeah! Here we go!” You aimed your horn near the middle of the room and created the television pillar, with speakers set at each corner of the room, making sure things were subtly shifted enough that everyone in the room was now sitting around it as Die Hard immediately began to play on the screens. It was a Christmas movie after all, it made sense. “Ta-da! What do you think? Surround sound, perfect crisp picture, and whatever you want to watch right at the tip of your claws.”
But all of them were just staring at the screen, until Grubber pointed up and looked disgusted. “Is that what humans look like? Man, you guys are ugly.”
…Dammit…
But before you could explode at Grubber, Capper just looks over at the controls, humming to himself, and flicks the off switch. “Hey, Grubber, that ain’t very nice. What if Anon thought hedgehogs were ugly?”
“He’d be wrong.” Grubber said
“...I forget being humble ain’t your strong suit.” Capper said with a chuckle as he circled around the pillar, giving it a whistle of approval. “This is real hot, Anon. Never seen anything like it.”
“Well, yeah, it’s human tech. But, hey, you don’t want to watch the movie?” You were actually disappointed he shut it off, you weren’t used to someone just declining to watch a human movie so easily.
“Of course I do, but these little kitty cats need to get some rest. We were awake all night navigating a storm and we ain’t slept yet. Only reason we ain’t sleeping now is because you were here. Wanted to hang out a little since we don’t get to see you a lot. But hey, we ain’t shipping out to Ponyville til the afternoon tomorrow, right? Why don’t you come down here in the morning and we’ll hang out? Give that movie a watch while we pack things up in the morning for the trip.” Capper said as he gave you one of his more charming grins.
Your ears folded, you were actually feeling pretty hurt. But you didn’t realize they had been awake for so long. And as much as you’d like to take his offer, you had your thing with Cozy Glow in the morning. “Actually, I have a really big obligation tomorrow. I wouldn’t be able to make it in time.”
“Hm, is that so? Capper, would you know a place that can convert storm bucks into the current Klugecoin currency they use here now? I still have a few cases from when the Storm King thought it actually mattered that his own money would keep me pacified.” Tempest asked.
“Way ahead of you, Tempest.” Capper said as he looked back at you, pointing with his claw. “Alright, Anon. We’ll pay for a few extra days to stay docked. I’m sure nobody here minds anyway since, y’know, cabin fever is a thing. How about you show up after the whole Hearthwarming shindig and we watch a whole litter of movies. How does that sound?”
Your ears perked up a little, that would be more than one movie… “S-sure! That would actually be pretty awesome.”
Tempest lets out a light chuckle. “I see now, you’re always excited to show off something from your old world, huh?”
You let out a slight chuckle out of embarrassment. “Yeah… Heh, I dunno what it is, I just am always excited to see everyone’s reactions when I show them how humans do action movies. Or horror movies, those are great too.”
“Horror movies? Are you messing with us? There’s no such thing as ‘horror’ to us. We ain’t afraid of nothing!” Grubber let out, gesturing his arms away on each side.
“You can count me out on any horror movies. I know well enough to stay away from anything humans consider horror.” Capper said, shivering at the thought.
“Sounds to me like we might have a movie marathon then. Have Twilight and the others seen any of these human movies?” Tempest asked.
You nodded. “Yeah, about the only one who can handle the more serious stuff is Rarity.”
“Clas-sy” Capper snickered to himself.
“Huh, didn’t expect that. Well, we’ll see how I do then.” Tempest said as she looked up at the screens, feeling an eagerness to at least give one movie a watch.
Capper put down his cup as he began to relax. “You know something? Me too. At least with those action movies. Always down for one of those.” Capper laid down on his hands on the pillow as he crossed his legs, bouncing one leg along his knee. “Man, it feels good doing nothing. No worries at all, and no Storm King to ruin it either.”
“Yeah, I admit, it feels great to me too.” Grubber agreed before looking at you, without a confrontative tone this time. “Say, Anon, what are you doing tomorrow exactly? It can’t be better than hanging out with us.”
You felt a sudden tinge of uneasiness hit you at that question, as if the odd dread still hasn’t truly left you, despite what you accepted. “I’m just welcoming a good friend of one of my good friends to Ponyville. It might last a while as the guy doesn’t seem to be the type to get out much. I think he’s some really old scholar or something.”
“Old scholar? You’re blowing us off for some old dude?” Grubber asked, feeling a little insulted.
“That’s fine, if it is meaningful to your friend, then don’t even worry about us. We’ll celebrate together when we arrive in Ponyville.” Tempest said as she shot a stern but soft glance towards Grubber, instantly and silently telling him to stand down.
“Sounds like it’ll be a fun time to me.” Capper said as he continued to make himself more comfortable. “But if we’re gonna get there on time, we’re gonna need to get some early cat naps here. We gotta get everything packed in the morning for the afternoon trip.”
“Agreed.” Tempest said with a nod. “And don’t worry about us, Anon. Trust me, we’ll get to Ponyville on time.”
“I know. Hey, Tempest, before I go, can I ask you something?” You asked, as your ears began to fold a bit, causing Tempest to feel some concern.
“Hm? What is it?” Tempest asked.
“Look, just gonna throw it out there. I don’t know who this guy is, at all. Let’s say there’s a chance he’s a bad guy, what would you do? Like, to find out, I mean. I already know what I’d do if he actually is.” You asked
Tempest was silent for a moment, then she answered quite frankly. “Listen to the way he speaks, and pay attention to his body language. If you’re feeling that suspicious of the guy, then you need to be suspicious of this friend of yours too.”
…Hmnnn, like how Bonbon suddenly seemed spooked. “How come?”
“You’d be surprised how even the most harmless being can actually turn out to be a vicious monster. After the anger I felt, I’d say it would have been unwise to trust me, even when I was a filly. Dark anger, or evil scheming, it doesn’t matter what it is. Always cast your net wide should you have any suspicions.” Tempest explained.
…Hm, even with Starlight, once she was hurt the way she was, trusting her before her reformation was most likely a bad idea. But, Cozy Glow, could she really not be trusted? She mentioned before how others would insult her, make her feel bad. If she is even remotely like Starlight, then… “I understand.” You said with a sure nod.
“Good.” Tempest said, as she gave you a warm smile. “I hope it doesn’t come to that. I’m sure things will be fine. But if that’s how you feel, then remember my words.”
You nodded. “I will. Heh, seeya guys. I know I saw some puddles from some leaky pipes outside, so I’ll be making my way out.”
Capper waved “Take care of yourself, Anon.”
“Seeya. And remember what Tempest told you.” Grubber said with a wave.
You nodded. “I will.” You then looked to Tempest, and gave her a nod in which she mutually returned.
With that, you returned home to rest up for tomorrow morning. You went straight to bed, closing your eyes, not wanting to deal with anything for the rest of the evening.
Tomorrow.
You just wanted to get through it, and get it over with.
You were staring at the mirror in your room. You were looking at yourself, right in the eyes. You were wearing your saddle bag. You were cycling through the advice, the information, and Cozy Glow’s mannerisms in your head. It wasn’t likely, there was no chance. But this Winter Krumb, who could he possibly be?
You went through your portal door after wrapping your scarf around your neck.
Ponyville, the clouds above were thick, but it wasn’t snowing. Things seemed gloomy, and almost ominous. Things would have been downright worrisome if it wasn’t for the townsponies galavanting around town, preparing for that momentous day. Twilight was even holding some sort of event at the castle to help set up any remaining decorations, as the castle would be open to anyone during Hearthwarming eve and day. At least, that's what Discord had told you last night.
You headed for the school. it’d be empty today. Cozy was going to prep her room for the welcoming party. You assumed you both would head to the train station after meeting up. You were sure the guy wouldn’t try anything right out the gate, and you could use your first charge of the day to scan him to see if he was using a disguise or was a demonic-like presence.
When you reached her door, you looked around the empty halls, and took a breath to compose yourself. “Here we go” You whispered to yourself.
You knocked...
The door opened, and you were immediately greeted by a cheery Cozy Glow, whose wings were already flittering in excitement. “Anon! You made it! Yay!” Cozy immediately stepped aside and beckoned you to enter. “I’m just about ready! I have the blueberry muffins made, the drinks, ballooooonys!” Cozy said with a giggle before pointing to the party sign saying ‘Welcome Winter Krumb!’. “What do you think? Think he’ll feel super welcomed?”
Hm, everything seemed alright. Her room was lit up with colored lights, balloons everywhere, and a table with three seats. You notice a tea pot, three tea cups, and a bottle of soda next to some muffins. “Yeah, it looks pretty okay. Sure he’s not gonna feel persnickety about it being so festive though?” You ask as you step inside, only making that remark due to how supposedly old this guy was.
“Oh, trust me, Anon. This is gonna be the biggest big big day of his life!” Cozy said as she went to grab a muffin and hold it towards you. “Come on, I haven’t gotten a chance to taste the muffins yet, and I thought we could try it together. If we both like it, that means he will, right?”
Biggest day of his life? Christ, almost seemed like it was a trap more for him than for you. And geez, she’s being really eager. But, she did offer to try it together. Hmmm… “Man, it looks delicious. But why don’t you take the first bite? You did make it, after all.”
“Hm? Okay!” Without even questioning it, she just takes a bite of half the muffin, then holds it towards you again as she chews and swallows. “Your turn? Or did you want one of your own? We don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”
You began to calm down a little. Maybe you were too tense for your own good. You sigh, give her a smirk, and take a bite, leaving only a little of the muffin. Hm, not bad. “Nah, we gotta leave as many as Winter is willing to eat.”
Cozy gives you a beaming grin as she makes squeamish little noises of approval. “That’s really thoughtful of you. But that’s why you’re the professor!” She cheered before hovering over to the table and lifting the top of the tea pot, giving the contents of it a look. It made you wonder about the soda, actually.
“Hey Cozy, If you have tea ready, why do you have a soda bottle set up?” You asked.
“Well, you don’t really like tea that much, right? See? I paid attention to that, and bought a bottle of soda, just for you!” Cozy said, looking as if she was waiting for your approval. “I hope that was okay. I didn’t know what flavor you liked, so I got cherry soda, since I thought it’d be as sweet as you!”
…D-d’awww. “Well, thank you.” You took a stretch and looked back at the door as you began to feel more relaxed. “So, are we gonna go pick him up at the train station? Do you know when he’ll arrive?”
“We don’t have to meet him at the station. He’ll be here soon.” Cozy said in a more plain voice as she began to pour a cup of tea for herself. “Golly, I hope my special ingredient helps the tea taste good.”
…Not meeting him at the train station? “Uh, really? Then how will he get here? He’s never been in Ponyville before, right?”
“He actually said he had, but a long time ago.” Cozy said as she sipped at her tea.
…Wut?
“Like, before or after Twilight showed up here?” You asked.
Cozy put her cup down and gave you a stare for a moment, before smiling happily. “I don’t know. Oh, would you like to hear some of the music I brought for the party? I-I hope you don’t find them bad, I just picked up some classical sounding ones since it might make him happy.”
“I… like classical music, erm, dunno about, um.” You really had no idea what classical pony music sounded like. But that stop, the fact she didn’t answer immediately. It made you feel uneasy. “Look, are you sure he’s been here before?”
Cozy nodded. “Mhmm, at least that’s what he said. Um, do you think he’d have trouble finding the school?”
…Yes? “Well, I mean, he had to have not been here for a while. The school is very recent, remember? That’s why I was suggesting we go pick him up. That way he doesn’t get lost.”
“But he won’t get lost. Anon, are you feeling okay?” Cozy Glow asked, showing concern for you.
She had to just be ignorant due to her age. There’s no way this guy knows where the school is, and you didn’t want to be in this room with him until you got a good scan on the guy. “Look, Cozy, honestly? I just want to meet the guy. Seriously, I really do. But I also want to make sure he gets here okay. Who knows the kind of culture shock the guy might feel if he takes a wrong turn.”
“Oh! That makes sense!” Cozy said with a gasp. “I wouldn’t want him to feel lost and confused. Oh no no, that would be bad. But, Anon, before we go, do you want to try the soda? I want to make sure you like it.”
Hmnn… You look over the bottle. It still looked sealed on the top, it hadn’t been opened. “Sure?”
“Okay! Let me j-Oh! I haven’t even opened it yet, silly me. I was gonna add my super special ingredient to really bring out the cherry taste! Do you mind waiting here? I hid the ingredient, that’s super duper secret, in my bathroom so nopony could find it. Be right back!” Cozy said with excitement as she grabbed the bottle and rushed to her bathroom door.
“Wai-!” But before you could say anything, she had already closed the door. Secret ingredient? She was adding it now? Why? You would have been fine with the soda as is, you didn’t want it to taste too cherryey.
You stand there and wait for a moment. You could hear her going through cabinets and drawers, looking for it. You decide to walk over to her dresser. Nothing unusual, some toys and dolls, a few knick knacks, and… A letter?
You look over at the bathroom door, and listen in, she was still looking for it. You stare at the letter, and wonder if you should take a look at it. What could it hurt? It could give you some insight on this Winter Krumb guy. “Let’s see…” You take the letter and give it a read. “Dear Cozy…” You whispered to yourself. “Thank you for the compass. I’m not usually one for thank yous, but it had the parts I needed to forge a skeleton key to make my way out of my forced home. Will be meeting you soon, and I’ll be interested in this little showcase you promised. I want to see if what you’ve told me holds true. And do not worry, I can easily bring the package once I’ve had a bite to eat.” What in the? The compass? The compass you gave her? Why would she send it to this guy? Why did he need a key? Package? Why did the letter seem so fucking scary? But the words, they could have been deceptively deceptive. It didn’t mean the guy was evil, it could just mean the place he was in was abusive.
You look down to see what he signed as his name. But instead of his name, he wrote it in runes, the same runes he sent her for sending the bench. They still looked like rearranged letters to you. You take a look at the bathroom door one more time, and you could hear that she found what she was looking for. You only had a few moments.
You put the horn on your head, and you aim it at the letter. You were just going to cast a spell to cheat the riddle, and find out what the runes mean. You cast your magic, and instead of his name appearing, or an address, the runes start to rearrange themselves. They really were letters, and they were slowly forming words. “I… Am… Lord… T-T-T”
…W-what?! He was Winter Krumb?! Of everyone that exists, him?!
Your core, your very soul, suddenly began to quake in panic.
How?! D-did Cozy know? Did she know who she was talking to?!
“Anon?” Said a worried voice.
You looked back at the bathroom door, Cozy was standing in front of it, holding the bottle of soda. “Are you okay? W-what’s wrong? You look like you saw a scawy ghost.”
…The soda “Erm, I…” The horn had already plopped off your head, and the letter had fallen back on the dresser after you let it go. Could it be true? Was this real? “I was just, erm, uh, heh. You know how it is, I don’t do mornings well. Almost fell asleep and hit my head on your dresser.”
Cozy pouted as she flew over to the table with the bottle. “Oh no! Golly, that’s not good at all! Well, luckily for you, soda has lots of caffeine! And with my secret ingredient, you’ll loosen right up!” Cozy said as she hurriedly poured you a cup and brought it over to you. “Here! Drink up!”
You just stared at the cup, then at her, then at the cup. It seemed to unnerve her.
“Anon?” Cozy asked, seemingly worried. ”Aren’t you going to take a drink?”
…You knew what this scenario was. If, somehow, the Storm King was right that long ago, then you knew what this was. “Erm, I’m not thirsty.”
“But you have to at least taste it! For me? Pweeeeease.” Cozy said, giving you the biggest and cutest eyes.
You were tense. You were not expecting to deal with a situation like this. It was becoming more suspicious as time went on. One thing for sure, you had to make sure not to take a drink of that soda. For all you knew, that secret ingredient came from him. “Okay, Cozy. give it to me.” You say, holding out your hoof.
“Okey dokey!” She said with a cheer as she placed the cup on the frog of your hoof.
“Alr-OH GOD! IS THAT A BRAIN-EATING MONSTER?!” You yelled, pointing behind her.
“EEEEK!” She shrieked as she jumped into the bathroom. “Anon! Help!”
….Wut? She didn’t even stay in the same room. Either she was trying to convince you really hard that everything was okay, or she really was being used by… Him. You look at the cup of soda.
You stare at it really hard…
You did want to taste it…
…
…
You open your saddle bag and throw the cup into it, soda and all. “It’s gone, Cozy! I got rid of it! And I tasted the soda! Yum!” You called out to her.
“R-really? I-it’s gone?” Cozy said, shaking as she stepped out of the door. “G-golly, I didn’t even see it come in. I-I hope nothing else bad happens.”
“It should be fine…” That letter. It was him, it had to be, and you only had two charges left. He was coming. You don’t know why he’s coming for you, and not for Twilight, but he was coming. You had to ask her, you had to find out what she knew. “Cozy, I have a question for you.”
“Y-yes? Anon?” Cozy asked, still looking around for the supposed monster.
“Winter Krumb. Who is he, really? Do you know who he is? What he looks like?” You asked her.
She looked at you, and her ears folded as she seemed to have noticed how serious you suddenly became. “I, um, why? Why are you asking that? Don’t you want to meet him?”
“I don’t think I ever had a choice in that, Cozy. Why does he want to meet me? Why did you give him the compass?” You asked her.
“Y-you know about that?” Cozy asked, feeling more fearful as she backed up onto the wall. “A-Anon? Wh-why are you asking these things? Y-you don’t think I did something bad, do you?”
“I don’t know, Cozy. I do know you’ve been helping him a lot.” There was something confusing about that. What was the bench for? It wasn’t in that letter. Did he just need a place to sit while he tinkered with the compass? “Do you really know where he lives? What has he told you?”
“Anon… Y-you don’t think Winter Krumb is a big m-meanie bad guy, d-do you? Why are you acting like you hate him? He didn’t do anything wrong. He needs our help! He needs yours!” Cozy whimpered towards you.
Ngh, did she really not know? You almost prepared to use your second charge to force her to tell you what you need to know. You could use the last charge on him when he arrived. But those tears, the hurt in her voice. She really didn’t know, did she? “Cozy… Winter Krumb. I know who he really is, he’s-” But suddenly, there’s a blast from the wall behind Cozy. The room fills with clouds of dust and rubble as you cough and cover your face. Suddenly, you hear a high pitched scream. “ANOOON!”
You coughed again, and put your horn on your head to use your basic shield spell outwards to send the dust away from you. “Cozy?” When you looked over to where she was, she wasn’t there, she was taken through the wall. “Cozy!”
As the dust cleared, you could already hear him bashing through another set of walls from your left. He didn’t go straight? He could escape easily if he went straight ahead.
But he didn’t want to escape, you knew that. You exited Cozy’s dorm through the door and saw a cloaked figure bash through another nearby wall and rush down the hallway. You gave chase, not fast enough to keep up, but seeing how he seemed to be heading to the courtyard, you only had to meet him there.
Your mind was swimming with thoughts as you ran as fast as you could towards the courtyard. He wanted the horn, and he took Cozy to use her as a bargaining chip. But just like with the Storm King, it all seemed too convenient.
She had to have known where those letters were going, they all had to be going to the same place. The more you thought about it, the more holes there were to Cozy’s story. But, was she really capable of this? Or did he use her too?
When you reached the courtyard, the cloaked figure stood ahead, staring at you, his arms hidden under his cloak, his face barely visible under the hood. But you could see small horns poking upwards. It was him. The sky had darkened with silver dark clouds, snow slowly falling down. You stepped up to face him, and as you did, he began to speak.
“Ah, so Discord’s whelp really is brave enough to step up before me. I’ve heard much about you, outworlder.” The figure said.
You furrowed your brow, and stood fast, you wouldn’t be deterred. “Yeah, yeah. Save it, I already know who you are… Tirek.”
“Oh ho, so you do know who I am. I wonder how you came to figure that out.” He outstretched his right arm, and lowered his hood. It was Tirek, standing before you, grinning evilly, and arrogantly. He wasn’t fully powered up, didn’t even seem that close to it, just enough to be able to bust things down some. “But if you do know who I am, then you know what I’m here for.” He outstretched his right hand. “Give me the horn, or else.”
If Discord could beat him at this level, then you could too. He wasn’t chaos powered, and you had your doubts that he could drain the horn’s power. You could obliterate him easily. The question is, does he know that? Surely he realizes that if he isn’t near full power, then even you can trounce him. You knew what that ‘or else’ was, he was going to use Cozy as leverage. Probably had her in his left hand, under the cloak. “Or else what? Why are you even here? If you know who I am, then you know you don’t stand a chance looking like that.”
“There’s more to gaining victory than just brute strength.” Tirek reveals his left hand from the cloak, holding a crying and whimpering Cozy Glow towards you. “Sometimes you just need to be underhanded to get what you want. The horn, outworlder, or she will suffer the consequences.”
“A-Anon. D-don’t do it” Cozy Glow whined, shaking, crying.
You faltered. She was telling you not to do it, and it already began to weaken your resolve. But as you stood there, you realized something. Even if Tirek had the horn, you could call Discord through the codec to get his rear in gear and save you and Cozy.
You and Cozy.
Cozy.
…Unless, that’s what they were counting on.
You had to know, and it wouldn’t cause any harm to try to call the bluff. If you were wrong, you could explain to her you were attempting a tactic.
But if you were right…
“Do you think I’m an idiot? I know every trick in the book, Tirek. You have no power over me. I know the both of you have been working together the whole time. My only question is… Why?” You asked, as you looked towards Cozy with hurt eyes.
Please… Cozy…
Tirek looked stunned, he was actually taken aback by your statement. But Cozy? Suddenly, her look slowly twisted into a creepy little smile, an unsettling evil little smile. She then turned her head towards Tirek, and said. “See, Mr. Tirek? I told you your plan wouldn’t work. He figured it out, just like I told you. Can you pweeeease let me go so I can show you exactly what I was telling you in my letters?”
You were shocked. Even when you tried to prepare yourself, you weren’t expecting her to just… Do that. These weren’t the signs of a filly who had been hurt, these were signs of… It… It seemed so familiar. “Cozy?”
“Hmph…” Tirek let her go as she hovered towards the ground. “It seems I misjudged the situation. Fine, show me what you meant. Show me how your way is somehow any better than mine.”
Cozy giggled innocently towards Tirek. “Awww, Mr.Tirek, don’t you remember what I told you? You have to have faith! Here, let me show you.” Cozy then looked towards you, still flashing an innocent smile. “Well, you figured it out, professor! I knew you would.”
The fuck was this?! “Cozy?! Are you kidding me?! Why?! Why would you do this?! Have… Have you been faking this whole time?!”
“Faking?” Cozy looked confused. “Golly, Anon, I never faked anything. I learned a lot from you, the Storm King, and Mr.Tirek. It’s just… Well… things have to end here with us because I already know you wouldn’t like my plans.”
“Plans?! These are your plans?! Not his?! Cozy, why!? What happened to you to make you this way?!” You weren’t expecting this at all, it almost seemed like she was the mastermind all along.
“What happened to me? Ummm…” Cozy pondered on that thought for a moment, then shrugged, beaming another smile towards you. “I don’t think anything happened. I’m just a whittle filly with biiiiiig ambitions! The road to being the empress of friendship isn’t easy, Anon. But thanks to you, I’m nearly there.”
“Are you serious?!” Was she even really a filly?! “Don’t you realize what you’re doing is wrong?! Cozy, you don’t have to do this!”
“Wow, you sound like Headmare Twilight!” Cozy said with a giggle. “I’m sowwy I upset you, Anon. But being wrong? Hmmm, I don’t know about that. I just want to unify all the ponies, doesn’t that sound nice?”
“With my horn?” If she planned all this, and even managed to employ Tirek by helping him break out of Tartarus, then you knew she wasn’t a simple-minded filly. She knew what she wanted, and what she had to do to get it. So surely she knew taking the horn would be a death sentence.
“Yup! But I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking Discord will come in to save the day. Well, Anon, we’re counting on that. But you see, the horn alone won’t get us what we want. It does, however, filter chaos magic, doesn’t it? It’s how anypony else could use it without something bad happening to themselves if used correctly, right?” Cozy asked.
W-what was she getting at? If she knew that, and was counting on Discord to show up, then what did they have to stop him? You had to be careful, you had to figure out what they had to stop him. ”Yeah, but that doesn’t mean your plan is going to work. Either through him or through me, Cozy, you can’t win. How did you even expect this to work?”
Cozy’s innocent grin twisted into a smug smirk. “Do you reeeeeaallllllly want to know?”
You nodded, and demanded the answer. “Yes, tell me already! Stop stalling.”
“Do you remember the bench you sent to Mr.Tirek?” Cozy asked.
The bench? What about it? What was so special about that? “You mean the bench made out of chaotic porcelain? You can’t be serious. What, were you going to smash me with it or something?”
“We’re wasting time! If Twilight and her friends happen to wander in, then we’ll have no chance of winning.” Tirek said, becoming antsy as he looked around.
“Don’t worry, Mr.Tirek. They won’t be here for a long while. And besides, Anon deserves all the answers to the questions he’s asking. We are friends, aren’t we, Anon?” Cozy said, giving you a cruel grin.
You stayed silent, prepping yourself to blast the both of them if you had to. Maybe Cozy could be reformed from this, she was too young to be thinking like this. But you’d be doing Equestria a favor getting rid of Tirek.
“So, the bench. It was super duper cute, wasn’t it? Well, what if I told you the belly of the bench was holding a super special surprise?” Cozy seemed excited to know what your answer was going to be.
The belly? What it held inside? What could it possibly be? There was nothing else you gave her that she could possibly hide within the cat bench. But, you gave it some thought, and sorted through your memories. And as you thought about it, you remembered looking for the one thing you had to make sure was gone. That Discord himself said was gone. And that the Storm King was looking for the entire time.
Oh god…
“The staff…” You muttered.
“Yay! See, that’s why you’re the professor!” Cozy said with a cheer.
“B-but how? You couldn’t have touched it, that much raw chaos would have warped you in some way. Discord would have known about it had anyone touched it.” You said, feeling dread flow through you.
“Huh? You didn’t figure that out?” Cozy seemed disappointed, then giggled like a silly filly. “Oh, Anon, you’re so funny. Don’t you remember my porcelain booties? I hid the staff under the porcelain and waited on a letter from Mr.Tirek to tell me a way to get it to him without things going all crazy zany! Golly, who knew that touching chaos with chaos, and even hiding chaos inside chaos, would make it hard to find and safe to handle? It's so silly! Isn’t that funny?” Cozy said with a giggle before staring back at you. “I bet you wanna know about the Storm King too.”
“Yeah. Sure, keep going. You’re just giving me more of a reason to get rid of you too.” This filly, you started to realize who she reminded you of. She was like Darla Dimple, from Cats Don’t Dance. And you, the ponies, and even the Storm King. You were all the Dannys. You could feel the last of the care you had for her leave you. She clearly only cared about herself.
“Ouchies, Anon, that hurts my feelings.” Cozy said as she brought her hooves to her heart, looking hurt, before suddenly giving you a cruel smirk. “Almost made me feel the same way when the Storm King decided he didn’t want to play anymore. We could have been a fun friend team, but he only cared about getting his dumb dumb staff back. Once he fully realized who he was, he decided to try to win the game all by himself. And once he realized I’d never tell him where his staff was, and that I’d make sure he’d be banished forever, he thought he could make a deal and get out of Equestria. Good thing you got rid of him, right?” Cozy’s glare became even more cruel.
This filly… She was truly evil. “So he was just a pawn?”
Cozy nodded. “Yup! But he talked about such interesting things when we first met, Anon. He was almost like he was two creatures, talking to himself, telling me about all sorts of things. You, the staff, the fight… Tropes. So many things. You could say it really helped me plan out how everything would end for you.”
Two creatures? Did she mean Jimmy? That's impossible, but they were fused together at one point. Did Jimmy's memories leak into the Storm King? His persona even? Could explain why he was crazier than usual. Just like how Jimmy suddenly became Jimmy, and almost, in a sense, was acting like a discount gambler Hades, like the Storm King. Then... God, she was a sociopath. Holy shit, she had been planning this from the start? “So what about the compass, then? How did you know it’d help Tirek escape?”
“Oh, I didn’t.” Cozy giggled. “My original plan was to get the help from Mr.Tirek, and learn how to drain all the magic in Equestria, then take over. But when you offered me the compass, it led me to much greater things. The compass as a key was Mr.Tirek’s idea.”
“You’re a fucking bitch. You planned all of this! You, from the fucking start! And what? You think I’m going to stand here and take it?!” Fuck this noise, you’ve heard enough.
“Wow, Anon, you need to watch your language. Those are bad human words, right? Besides, I don’t think you’ll be doing anything. You did drink my soda, didn’t you?” Cozy said with a smirk.
…Ha, haha! HAHAHAH! YOU WERE RIGHT! HOLY SHIT! SHE SPIKED THE FUCKING SODA! Oh, oh, this was over before it even began. You win. But before you could answer, Tirek said something instead, annoyed with Cozy.
“You poisoned him? That was your big play? Seem innocent and betray him with some poison drink? Are you aware that is the most basic trick there is? Your young age is showing, my dear, if you somehow think that’s impressive. I promised you a full partnership if you could impress me with everything you spoke about. And yet here we are, and I am not impressed.” Tirek huffed.
You smirked, cackling even. “Well, too bad for the both of you then…” You placed your hoof on your horn and held it up near your forehead. “I didn’t drink it at all. Not a drop! I knew it was poisoned.” You wanted them to see the horn being held up, you wanted to see them fill with dread, you wanted them to see the instrument of their demise and see that you had the upper hand now before you put it on and blast them.
Tirek tensed in fear, looking at Cozy with anger. “You! I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you! You ruined everything! I told you not to be too obvious, but you didn’t listen! His magic comes from that horn, I can’t stop him from here!”
But Cozy said nothing, she just stared back at Tirek, then looked at you, and asked. “So… You didn’t drink it?”
“Of course not! Secret ingredient? Really? Tirek was right, you overplayed your hand. Even if I didn’t know how evil you were, I knew you were planning something.” You told her, with anger and arrogance in a single breath.
“I guess I was too obvious. That’s why those two mares from the other day almost ruined our plans before things got started. Good thing Mr.Tirek stopped them. Golly, if they were able to figure out that much, then I should have known you’d not drink the soda pop.” Cozy said, slightly bopping herself on the head. “I weally messed up, huh?”
Two mares?
Lyra and Bonbon… “You fucking bitch, where are they?!”
“Oh, come on, Anon. Mr. Tirek was nice enough to leave them near the forest when they came poking their noses around. We didn’t have time to get rid of them, we had to get back to the school.” Cozy then frowned even more. “You’re being mean, Anon. I can’t believe you didn’t even try the soda.”
“What the fuck does it matter? You both are toast! I can’t believe I let you use me like that!” You growled, yet hesitated to put on the horn to finish this. You had to know, was she truly that heartless? “Cozy, are you really telling me you faked through everything? You weren’t friends with anypony?!” Because if she was, then it was go time, for sure.
“Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…” Cozy murmured for a good long moment, then shrugged. “Nope, just Mr.Tirek. I guess I’m his Anon too, just like you to Chrysalis. But, well, maybe I would have thought about being friends if you drank the soda.”
You began to scream at her, angry that she’d make that comparison, and even angrier that she really didn’t care about anyone. “FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR SODA! I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T DRINK IT! I DIDN’T FALL FOR IT! I GAVE YOU A CHANCE, COZY! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK IT, I’M JUST GONNA MAKE SURE YOU BOTH FUCKING SUFFER! HOW ABOUT THAT?!”
“Wow, no need to shout, Anon. But, golly gee, if you feel that way. Then go ahead, do it.” Cozy said as she closed her eyes. “I’m weady!”
“Ready?! What is this?! What is going on?! Did you do this just to doom us both?! You really are insane! I shouldn’t have gone along with this if you just wanted to end yourself. I could have done that for you! You stupid filly!” Tirek growled. He suddenly became frozen in fear, realizing he wouldn’t be able to stop you in time, and having no time to flee from you.
That was it then, all you had to do was lower the horn onto your forehead and it’d be done.
It’d be done.
It’d be done?
W-wait, something was wrong. You couldn’t move your legs anymore, you suddenly felt stiff all over your body. All you could do was speak and move your eyes. “W-what’s going on? I-I can’t move!”
“Yup, he can’t move, the paralysis poison is working its magic. I made sure to make it delayed just enough to get Anon in this exact position. Wow, could you imagine if he had put on his horn a moment sooner? We would have been goners for sure. Good thing he likes to put on a show!” Cozy said with a giggle that slowly devolved into a cruel chuckle. “What an idiot.”
“How is this possible? He said he didn’t drink the poisoned drink.” Tirek said, utterly intrigued about the situation. “Unless he did, or it seeped through his skin.”
“I-I didn’t drink it at all, I threw it into my bag! I, ngh, I can’t move! Cozy! COZY!” You growled, trying your best to move your muscles and break free from your stillness.
“See, Mr.Tirek, this is why I left it a big mystery. Because I needed you to not give Anon a tell that he was poisoned, or else he’d have cured himself before it took hold and he would have blasted us for sure.” Cozy explained.
“I… Suppose. But then how is this possible? He didn’t drink the poison, so how is he still poisoned?” Tirek asked.
“Oh, because the soda wasn’t the poison at all.” Cozy brought her face close to yours, and looked deep into them, enjoying your shock. “The muffin was.”
Your eyes went wide with shock. “The muffin?! That’s impossible, we ate the same muffin! How aren’t you poisoned too?!”
“Oh, that? Well, that’s easy. My tea had the antidote.” Cozy said with an innocent giggle, then she looked at you with a sultry and evil grin as she rubbed under your chin. “And you want to know the best part, Anon?”
You said nothing, but your eyes spelled out how much you wanted to tear her apart.
“I really did put that same antidote, that special secret ingredient, in your soda too! See, I needed to show Mr.Tirek that following the rules of the tropes that were explained to me by the Storm King was the way to rule Equestria. Sure, anypony could have poisoned your drink, but I knew you’d see through it, even if I wasn’t acting obvious on purpose. But to really hammer it in, I had to not only reverse the order of operations, but even give you a chance to ruin our plans by doing something as easy as taking a sippy sip.” Cozy then began to laugh, then grow maniacal in her cackles as she stared you down. “Anon the idiot! Anon the idiot! You lose, we win! Looks like you aren’t even good enough for Professor Rainbow Dash’s class, huh? Ohhh well.” Cozy then shifted her eyes to your hoof holding the horn. She put her hoof under your leg, and began to push it straight up until your amulet came off along the back of your head. She then took the horn, and held it towards Tirek. “Got it! Just needed Anon to hold it so he could be the one to ‘remove it by his own hoof’”
“NO! NO! GIVE IT BACK TO ME! GIVE IT BACK! YOU BIIIIIIITCH!” You scream out loud. “TWILIGHT! DISCORD! SOMEPONY! ANYPONY!” You couldn’t even call on your codec. Discord had no reason to take things seriously yet, and you couldn’t give him a cause to send him running to you. No! NO!
Tirek just stood there, stunned. But then he began to smirk quite evilly as well. “Well, Cozy Glow, looks like this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership.” Tirek then threw off the cloak, revealing the bench was tied to his back. He took it, and smashed one end of it. A horrible red glow began to shine. The staff was revealed, and it was truly… The beginning of the end.
“Oh, Mr.Tirek. I’d like to consider us best friendsys.” Cozy looked at you with a cruel grin. “The bestest of friends.”
You were forced to stand there as Tirek focused on the staff, staring at it quizzically, mumbling to himself. He sent Cozy off to the school lab to bring him a few simple supplies. You could see an uneasiness in his demeanor as he continued to gaze upon the staff.
“Hm, how curious. I wasn’t aware the Staff of Sacanas could be mutated like this.” Tirek let out a light chuckle. “To see it now… If only I was aware it could become this way… Hmmm”
“Hey! Asshole, hate to ruin your staff fetish over there, but you’re an idiot if you’re gonna trust her. You’re Tirek, right? Since when did you take orders from a foal?” You growled towards him.
“Hm?” Tirek turned towards you, unamused and uninterested. “What was that, outworlder? Betrayal? Orders?” Tirek paused for a moment, then chuckled. “Oh, I see. Hoping to get into a conversation of either me betraying her or vice versa, an admirable attempt at deception. Were you going to tell me, Lord Tirek, that by the end, we’d have no reason to be partners anymore and that we’d be at each other's throat for control of Equestria? Or perhaps you wanted to tell me how and why my previous attempt failed, and give me an edge on the foal? I’m close, aren’t I?”
What?! How did he know?! Cozy, she must have… How?! How was she able to plan so far ahead?! You were stunned silent.
“Yes, I’m shocked at myself as well.” Tirek said, taking your silence as being correct. “But you see, outworlder, this is different. To the point I didn’t believe it myself until this very moment. Dimensional theory, to think that all this time, that idiot was capable of proving it true. You, outworlder, had knowledge of the going-ons of this world flowing inside your head. That is how you adapted so well to Equestria, isn’t it? Oh yes, it’d take the knowledge of somepony like that to know how to reform the queen of the changelings herself. You, outworlder, hold the knowledge to control fate, to know how to manipulate the world to your choosing.” Tirek then burst out laughing. “And yet, you are an even bigger fool than Discord! Why would you share that knowledge with anypony? How could you let such important knowledge just slip out like it was idle gossip? Betrayal, anger, arrogance, revenge… The ingredients to the downfall of every one of us. Even that monster, Grogar, fell victim to it. Who would have thought that to win, you just had to let it all go. Our heroes will play the game the only way they know how, and one by one, they’ll fall.” Tirek then reached down and gave you a gentle pet. “How’s that? Does that satisfy your curiosity? Consider it a kindness, as you’ll be taken care of once you’re of no use to us.”
You did, you really did. Jimmy, he had nearly won as well, covering every avenue except the one he couldn’t possibly had known about. But how could you have known that it would have led to this? How were you supposed to realize that Cozy Glow would be able to use this information so effectively?! It seems Cozy didn't tell him you knew all this from the show itself, though that may have not been prudent in the scheme of things.
Wait… Information. There was one thing, one thing that could save this. Even Chrysalis, at this point, knew how frivolous being evil was due to it bringing Equestria into a cold death. “S-so you think you got everything figured out? You’re the idiot, Tirek! So let’s say you do win. Then what? What happens to Equestria? What happens to you? You seem pretty scholarly for being a buff asshat. You know what will happen, right? Why would you do this knowing what would happen?”
“Ah…” Tirek rubbed his forefinger and thumb together as he looked at them boredly. “You refer to the windigos. I appreciate your concern, outworlder, but I can assure you that is nothing to worry about.”
What?! “Bullshit! You can’t stop the windigos without harmony and friendship! You can’t possibly think you can just stop them? Chaos magic can’t stop them, you know that, right?”
“More than you know. However, I don’t need to explain anything further to you, it would just be a waste of breath.” Tirek said with a self-satisfied huff. “It is a shame, though. All of this, it just takes the fun out of it.” Tirek then shrugs. “Ah well.”
“Mister Tirek! I brought the things!” Cozy said joyfully as she hovered into the courtyard. She was wearing a blast shield, had large dragon claw-like gloves on her back, and a huge set of tongs between her hooves. “We’re ready for horn fusyusion!” She said with cheer before accidentally bumping into Tirek. “Oops! Sowwy, I could barely see with this thing on.”
Tirek let out a huge groan as he swiped the items from her. “First of all, it is called fusion. And second of all, I am not ‘Mister’ Tirek. I am either Tirek, or preferably, Lord Tirek. We may be partners, but I won’t suffer such childishness.” Tirek put on the blast shield over his face, and forced the gloves onto his burly hands. He then took the tongs, and grabbed the horn with them.
“Golly, can I call you Lord Mister Tirek instead?” Cozy said with a genuine smile. “It’ll help make us feel like best friends!”
“No! It’s either Tirek, or Lord Tirek! How would you like it if I called you scum as your nickname?” Tirek said with a growl.
Cozy thought about it, then gave him a sweet smile. “That’d be alright as long as that’s my nickname. The most important thing about our friendship is that we’re honest with one another and that we trust each other. You do trust me? Don’t you? Mister Lord Tirek?” She fluttered big sad eyes at Tirek.
Tirek grumbled and turned around, holding the tongs up. “Fine, whatever, Mister Tirek it is. The less I have to hear that kind of speech, the better. Now give me a moment, this is a very delicate process.”
“Alrighty!” Cozy said as she turned towards you with an evil smiling glare. “Having fun, Anon?”
“You’re a coward, Cozy. What, you couldn’t deal with me personally?” You said, glaring back at her.
“Gee golly willikers, that would mean I’d have to get nasty and violent! I’m just not that way, Anon. At least, not yet. It’s gonna be fun breaking you, do you know that? You’re only step one to our plan. Daddy Discord is part two. And part three is…” Cozy stopped, and giggled at herself. “Oopsies, almost spoiled the biggest surprise!”
“Fuck you and your surprises! What, you’re gonna use me as bait?! Even with the staff, if you’re using my horn to power it, Discord can cut it off in an instant! And you can’t tell me chucklefuck there can take him on, he isn’t even near full power. You’re fucked!” You shouted at her.
Tirek looked back, lifting the blast shield, and giving you an annoyed stare. “He’s starting to annoy me. Why don’t you just gag him?” He then went back to his work, carefully holding the horn towards the staff.
“Aww, then it wouldn’t be any fun! As for your daddy, it’s true, we won’t have enough chaos power to stop him. And it is also true Mister Tirek isn’t strong enough to stop him either! But there’s more than one way to skin a draconequus.” Cozy said with a creepy snicker as the staff began to glow and spark an ominous red.
“Ngh, it is giving off too much power! Even when I get the horn on it, he’ll know much too soon! We’ll need to have an alternative plan, and make way to the forest!” Tirek yelled as he pressed the horn onto the staff, the staff screaming and sputtering as it began to spark. “I told you we should have experimented!”
Cozy just stayed silent, staring at you as her eyes seemingly glowed along with the staff’s spark. She kept staring until the sparks stopped.
“There, the staff has been fused to the horn.” Tirek said as he removed the blast shield, looking at the staff with pride. “Truly a marvel. Now, let’s get going. We don’t have any t-WHAT?!” Before Tirek could grab you or the staff, Cozy immediately grabbed and hugged onto it.
The ground immediately began to shift under all of you as black stone pillars, walls, and turrets of a castle began to twist and rise from the ground. Tirek looked upon the filly, who stared back at him with a maddened look. “What are you doing?! Forget Discord, everypony is going to know we’re here! We don’t even know how stable that thing is!”
Was she fucking crazy?! She just dove into it! She just went and grabbed it without a second thought. But even as Tirek called out to her, she just hovered along as the three of you were rising on a stone platform, the school bursting and breaking as a castle began to rise. She was just staring, with a cruel smirk, until finally the three of you found yourselves in a pink throne room, with two plush thrones, a ton of dolls of various ponies found in Ponyville, and dolls of the alicorn princesses hanging above like hanged men, with smiles on their faces. The walls were lined with various pictures of Cozy and Tirek, and you found yourself suddenly stuck in a cage, hanging beside the thrones.
“There we go! Our very own castle! Don’t we have the cutest throne room?” Cozy said as she happily hugged onto the staff.
Tirek growled as he snatched it from her, and pointed at her in anger. “Are you insane?! We haven’t prepared for this, we haven’t tested if the staff has any ill effects on us! And now everypony within miles knows we’re here!” Tirek pointed towards the windows of the throne room, as banners hung from the sides of the ramparts. “You have my insignia on those banners! You’re practically advertising our plans!”
“Well, for one, thankies for worrying about me. But as you can see, I’m fine.” Cozy said with a giggle as she span around to show she was okay. “And for two, that’s exactly what we want.”
Tirek was heavily confused by this. Even you were.
Why would she d-. Ngh! Your codec, it was going off. He was already trying to call you. If only you could reach it, you could warn him. As you tried with all your might to move your hoof, Cozy just turned to look at you.
“Looks like Daddy Discord is already on the move.” Cozy said as she swiped back the staff in Tirek’s surprise.
“Of course he is! What are you thinking?! How does this, in any way, get us to our goal?!” Tirek yelled, demanding answers.
“Mister Tirek, all that testing you wanted to do is reeeeaaallllly boring. And besides, we already have everything we need. You’ll bait Discord when he arrives, and after we’re done with him, I’ll bait Pwincesssssss Twilight! See, if you’re confused, how do you think they feel right now? The less time we give them to figure things out, the easier it’ll be to control them.” Cozy looked up, staring at the hanging Twilight doll. “Trust me, I know how these things work.”
“So you’re using me as bait, then?! How exactly does that work in our partnership, hm?” Tirek asked, demanding answers.
“Well, the more time we spend arguing, the less time we’ll have to make it work. You’re the big bad, Mister Tirek, the scariest one of them all. I’m just a little innocent filly. Discord will be too busy thinking that flux of magic was you before he even realizes it was the staff.” Cozy explains.
“And what about him?” Tirek pointed back at you.
“What about him? He’s bait, then trash. You don’t mind being trash, do you, Anon?” Cozy said, looking back at you with a cheery smile.
“Discord won’t fall for it! You’re an idiot, Tirek! She’s going to let you take the fall! This is how she’s going to get rid of you! You can’t be this idiotic, right?!” You shouted at him, trying to get him to make a move on Cozy, to distract them long enough for Discord to save the day.
Tirek looked back at you silently, then back at Cozy. He was fighting with himself, he felt that instinct, the instinct to take everything for himself. But then he stopped, and sat back on his throne. “...I suggest you switch the decor to something of my liking, or else he may pick up on what is going on.”
“Awwww, okay, I guess that’s true.” Cozy said with disappointment as she waved the staff "Now remember! Trust! Trust and we'll make our way to fun!" Cozy then disappeared as the throne room became dark, with the inbetween of the now growing bricks being red as the thrones became foreboding and cruel. The pictures on the walls sank into them, as torches began to spring out from a red carpet that rolled out from the center to the door.
Her control over the staff, it seemed she had the ability to work out the chaos in her mind. The horn was protecting her from any ill effects of the staff itself. Dammit...
“And now she’s gone.” Tirek leaned forward as he rested his head on the side of his fist. “I don’t even know what she’s planning, and she already threw us into the thick of things.” Tirek then stops to look over at you, seems you had been gagged in the blast, as you try to say something to Tirek, anything, to get this shitshow to stop. He just silently grinned at you, then looked forward, preparing himself for the arrival of Discord.
“...Here I am, Father, at the cusp of total victory! You chose to disown me, and my own brother, Scorpan, betrayed me. He stole my birthright, my staff! And for what? To set in motion a line of failures that led to it returning to me, stronger than ever! I have the key to total and absolute victory!” Tirek boasted as he walked back and forth, his arms up and wide in the air as he exclaimed his dominance. Until suddenly, he stopped, put his arms behind his back, and began to look out the window down at Ponyville. “...And yet, it is happening much too quickly, and not by my own hand. I have to share it, with a foal of all things. An admirable foal, but a foal nonetheless. She cracked the code to this, all of this, and I know she hasn’t told me everything. Hmph, even if she is genuine in making this a partnership, she wants to hold all the cards.” Tirek then looked back at you, as temptation began to rise within himself. “This outworlder. Surely he didn’t divulge everything there is to know, no one is that stupid…” Tirek then walked up to your cage, opened it, and ungagged you. “So then, outworlder, it seems we are in a position to make a deal.”
“Are you serious? Even if you were offering my freedom, I know you’d just be lying to get what you want.” You said, staring back at him with disdain. Though, that monologue. It was clear he didn’t want to be in a partnership forever. Could you use that?
“Considering you’re not long for this world, you are in no position to deny my offer. You were only fooled because you weren’t expecting the tactics somepony like you would use being used on yourself. I understand that, but then there is the fact you used said knowledge to convert a once great and terrible evil to the side of good. You must know something, something she doesn’t, something that will give me leverage in case she tries to turn against me. Give me that information, and I’ll let you spend your remaining days in the dungeon. How does that sound?” Tirek said, offering you a terrible choice of salvation.
You stopped to think. How could you turn this around? How could you get out of this? What if you told him something that kept him on edge? Something he’d need to keep you around for? It was a longshot, but it could work. “What? Are you that afraid of her?”
“I’m not afraid!” Tirek angrily growled as he smashed his fist at the wall beside you. “You don’t seem to understand that just as easily as she betrayed you, she could betray me at any moment. This foal is unlike any other, and I refuse to play second fiddle just because she has the knowledge needed to conquer Equestria. Consider your options, outlander, because you don’t have long.”
…
“There is one thing she hasn’t picked up on. The ultimate downfall to any villain. It can happen at any time, for any reason, for even the slightest oversight. There doesn’t even need to be one, Tirek, it just happens. You want to make a deal? Give me something better than a stay at the dungeon. In fact, I’d say you could make a pretty sweet deal. You could take over from here with what I have to say and get rid of her right now.” You tell him, trying to entice him.
“Is that a fact?” Tirek said with curiosity before chuckling cruelly. “But you must be joking if you expect me to believe losing just ‘happens’. Do you not see how far we’ve come? Equestria will be ours within the day. Now, tell me the t-” But you interrupt him as you begin to spill a trope that is sure to interest him.
“It’s called Deus Ex Machina, or god’s machine. In a situation like this, it simply dictates that you will lose, no matter what, to something that may even not make any sense. Remember how you betrayed Discord? Didn’t you ever wonder why that led to your defeat? You literally gave Twilight the key to unlocking Rainbow Power. And it just happened, out of nowhere. I can counter it, Tirek, I can be your key. Just let me have my revenge on Cozy Glow, and as long as you don’t hurt my friends, I will give you everything you need to win. How’s that? Deal?” Come on, coooome on!
Tirek leaned back, and became silent. He was thinking deeply, scratching at his chin. “...No, I don’t think so. You almost had me, outworlder. But something like that cannot exist. What you refer to is simply a ‘fluke’, fate itself doesn’t bend reality in the way you describe.” Tirek put the gag back on you, and went to sit back on his throne. As he did, he seemed to go back into deep thought. What was he thinking about? That he had to play ball? Preparing mentally for a fight with Discord? Or maybe a part of him knew what you said was true, but didn’t want to put himself at risk.
It was silent in the room for some time, the crackle of the torches being the only sound resonating within the throne room.
Until finally…
The doors of the throne room burst open, as Discord, with no costume whatsoever, stepped into the throne room with a scowl.
Tirek composed himself, standing up and pointing at Discord. “Ah, what a surprise. Discord! You sensed my awesome power, haven’t you? Do you really think you can stop me? Do you tru-...ly? Hm?” But Tirek was caught off-guard as Discord stomped over to the cage instead, staring at you with an angry glare.
“Anon, I’m truly disappointed in you. Three whole charges and yet you still lost. And to make things worse, you ended up in a cage like some silly bird. We’re going to have a serious talk when we get home, mister!” Discord scolded as he waved his paw at you.
“W-what?! Discord! Aren’t you forgetting somepony?” Tirek said as he turned to the side, angry at being ignored.
“N-no? Who?” Discord said as he looked around, confused. “Was I supposed to remember somepony?”
“Me! Me! You idiot! How dare you ignore me, the great Lord Tirek!” Tirek bellowed angrily towards him.
“You? Really?” Discord scoffed as he waved his talons at him. “What? Did you expect some amazing showdown? Or perhaps me getting revenge for betraying my trust? Get over yourself, Tirek, you’re a joke. You’re not even at full power and you think you can take me on? I’d laugh, but the sheer disappointment I have in Anon here is too insurmountable to even fake a snort.”
Christ, even when he was rescuing you, he was an asshole. And that was something you didn’t need right now! This was a trap, and you had to warn him! All he has to do is stop playing around, why does he have to make a show of everything?!
“I will not be ignored!” If Tirek was feigning for the sake of a plan, he wasn’t anymore. He opened his maw and shot a black and yellow flaming beam at Discord. But Discord just pointed his talon at it, producing a tea cup that somehow contained all that power.
Discord took a sip of the magic tea and then spat it out in disgust. “Ew, bitter. Just like you, Tirek. Is this supposed to be impressive? Ooooh, you have a castle now! Do you think that makes you a king? Oh, I’m sure King Vorak would be so proud.”
“SHUT UUUUUUP!” Tirek began to scream angrily, unleashing blast after blast at Discord as Discord began to dance around the room like some mexican music was playing, you could even hear the strumming of the guitar before Discord jumped and stomped down on the last of Tirek’s blasts.
“Haha!” Discord let out as he finished his dance, roses being thrown into the room from out of nowhere as he caught one in his mouth. “Thank you, everypony, thank you.”
“You loathsome little worm! Do you really think you’ll get away with this?!” Tirek growled as he huffed and puffed, tired after such an attack.
“Get away with what? Taking back what’s mine?” Discord shrugged. “Look, Tirek, whatever is going on here, I don’t really care. Our purple princess is going to gather her friends, most likely soon, and come to stop you once they realize what’s really going on. And look at you, you won’t even be a challenge! It is preposterous to even propose it as such.” Discord scoffed. “Seriously, my only advice to you would be not to focus on Fluttershy, not unless you want to keep… Well, your entire being.”
Tirek said nothing, he took a deep breath, and tried to suck up Discord’s power instead. But Discord was ready as he launched a giant cork right into his mouth, causing him to scream in muffled anger.
“Nice try, but you won’t be catching me off guard this time. Speaking of, I do have to say that I’m a tad impressed with the decor.” Discord said as he began to notice the room. You were frantically trying to get him to cut it out and just rescue you, but he just suddenly seemed so intrigued by his surroundings. “Yes, something about it seems so familiar.” Discord then outstretched his tongue and licked the wall. “Even tastes familiar too. Tirek, chaos magic?” Discord took a look at you, and noticed something was missing. “I wonder how that happened?” Discord then shrugged, and chuckled to himself. “Oh well, I don’t care.” Discord began to approach your cage once again, with nary a care in the world. And that’s when you saw it, a portal opened from behind him as Cozy appeared, jumping at him with the staff.
No! NO! YOU COULDN’T WARN HIM!
DISCORD!
DIIIIIIIIIIIIISCORD!
It was over…
Or… Was it?
Discord was still looking at you, as a third arm outstretched from his back and caught the staff, with Cozy still holding on to it. “There we are, I knew something was off.” Discord literally span his face backwards to see what he was holding. “Hm, here’s the staff you were worried about, Anon. Mmmn, I suppose I owe you an apology on this one. And what’s this? A foal is attached to it.”
“Let go! Let go!” Cozy yelled out as she tried to break the staff from Discord’s grip.
“Hm, ah, I remember you. You’re Anon’s annoyingly innocent friend. Or ex-friend, as I can now imagine.” Discord then looked towards Tirek, who, having removed the cork, was now staring in shock. “Tirek, are you copying my shtick? Really? This was your grand master plan? To sic your foal at me? That's hilarious! True comedy!”
Holy shit! YES! DISCORD! YES! WOOHOO!
“N-ngh, d-darnit. S-so, it is real…” Tirek muttered to himself, as he began to back off in fear.
“Hm? I didn’t quite catch that. Ah well.” Discord then looked to Cozy, and gently began to shake the staff. “Excuse me, but can you let go? I’d rather not have to get violent with such a little foal. The game’s over, so perhaps I can do you the favor of sending you back home. Hanging around with a chump such as him isn’t going to do you any good.”
Dammit, Discord! She’s the mastermind! Just blast her ass!
Cozy stopped pulling, and looked at Discord with a sudden evil glare. “You’re not going to give me back my staff?”
Discord laughed at that. “Your staff? Ah, I see what this is. I suppose I should turn you in to Twilight instead, I can sense the seeds of villainy in you and she’s just the one to annoy it out of somepony.”
Cozy growled angrily this time. “I said, give me my staff! GIMME, GIMME!”
Discord chuckled again. “Ooooh, so scary. And what are you going to do if I don’t?”
Cozy stopped, almost seemingly giving up. But then she stared back at Discord, this time with an evil smile. “Well, if you’re not going to share. Then I’m going to have to do the sharing instead.”
“What? What does that even meaDSGDGFFDHGSDFGFD” Suddenly, Discord began to scream as the staff lit up, and started to spark with violent blasts.
“AAAAAAAAAAAGH!” Cozy too was screaming in pain, as the staff caught both of them in a strike that caused the both of them a great deal of anguish.
Oh shit! W-what is this?! What’s going on?!
“...She’s mad” Tirek said as he raised his arm to cover himself.
Finally, the staff released an explosion that sent Cozy and Discord hurtling across the room, smoke spreading from the blast.
No! NO! WHAT HAPPENED?!
Discord was groaning, he found himself very weak. “Wha-what in the wide wide world of… Ngh.” Discord found himself barely able to move. “M-my magic…” Discord raised his talons and gave them a snap. The only thing that sprung out was a few flowers, marbles, or candy with every snap he made. He then eyed the staff, and tried to crawl over to it. Suddenly, he yelped in pain when a hoof slammed down onto his body.
“Going somewhere?” Tirek said with a malicious grin.
Discord said nothing, he desperately tried to crawl towards the staff, but Tirek wasn’t allowing him to move.
“Oh ho, Discord, we do have a lot to discuss.” Tirek then looked towards Cozy, who was laying there covered in smoke. “Well then, it also seems that it is up to me-...What?”
A dark, ominous, yet girlish mad laugh came from the smoke where Cozy was. She began to come into view, laughing, crawling towards the staff, and hugging it. Her eyes, they have actually become a demonic red, her wings… They were twisted, burnt, and unusable. Her teeth had become sharper, and her mane had become a mess. She was weak, and yet, it didn’t stop her at all.
“And now we’re finished with step two.” She said with a giggle as she barely held up the staff, and blasted Discord, his screams becoming nothing as he is shrunk and squeezed into a bottle. You swore, the last thing you heard him say was your name, screaming as if he wanted to bring you to safety. Cozy then looked towards Tirek with a friendly grin. “You did a weaaallly good job, Mister Tirek. You really had him fooled!”
“Cozy… Do you realize what you’ve done?” Tirek asked, utterly shocked by what she had done to herself.
“Oh, I know, I can never use the magic of a pegasus pony again.” Cozy said as she weakly stood, and pushed the staff towards Tirek. “Good, it’ll really help sell step three of our plan. Golly, Twilight is going to get one good look at me and will do anything to help ‘save’ me!”
NO! NOOO! FUCKING HELL! NO!
Tirek looked at the staff with caution. He didn’t expect her to just give it to him. He slowly bent down, and grabbed it, holding it for himself. “I see, and are you aware that this next step is an unproven theory? My studies show that using an alicorn as a catalyst could just end up destroying her, or us, or even all of Equestria. There is no guarantee causing a chaotic harmony flux won’t end in total disaster.”
Cozy just huffed a little, catching her breath, and began to curl up her mane with her hooves. “I’m not worried. We’ve come this far, right? Either we conquer Equestria, or we blow up. Don’t you think it’ll ever be so much fun to see? If it works, then we’ll have the greatest players in Equestria under our control, and we won’t have to worry about the elements of harmony stopping us.”
Tirek was silent, as he was clearly unsettled. He looked at Discord within his bottle, and realized how far things were coming along so quickly. Even with his worries about Cozy, he felt no need to stop now. He was too ambitious to quit. “...So then, how exactly do you wish for this to play out?”
“Hm? Weeelllllll, Anon was tricked once to do this really powerful deal with Chrysalis that would cause a really bad thing to happen to her if she ended up hurting anypony. So, I think you should put an unlocked shackle along my neck and…” Cozy beckoned Tirek closer, to whisper to him.
Tirek, curious as to what the plan could be, picked her up and brought her to his ear. Tirek nodded as she silently went over her plan with him. He then gently put her down and chuckled. “...She’d have no choice but to come alone. I’m really beginning to see what you mean.”
“Mhmm! Oh oh! And maybe, we can have special codec thingies like Discord and Anon! That way I can chat with you about everything! Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Cozy said, giving him a cheerful smile.
“I…” Tirek said nothing at first, finding the very idea nauseating. “Perhaps later.”
Cozy crossed her hooves and let out a disappointed huff. “Okay.” She then looked towards you, and smirked. “Well, we don’t need him anymore. While I’m out getting us a princess, do you want to get rid of him?”
Your eyes went wide. Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! YOU WERE GOING TO DIE! You tried to break out of your paralysis, but you just couldn’t move.
“Perhaps we shouldn’t. Did you consider there may be more to this than what you’ve been told? He must have more secrets, secrets to completely secure our victory.” Tirek said.
“Um, no, we shouldn’t. See, every time a villain lets their prisoner stick around, something bad happens. Once we have Twilight, there really will be nothing that can stop us as long as we stick together! No, just get rid of him. C’mon, you can do it any way you waaannnnt.” Cozy let out in a sing-song way
“Hmn, any way I want?” Tirek looked over at the bottle containing Discord, and smirked. “Well, there is one way.”
“Alright! I’d love to stay and watch, but I have to do my duty!” Cozy said with a salute, and began to giggle to herself. "Just remember to have fun with it!"
“Yes…” Tirek pointed the staff at her, and produced a large shackle along her neck. “There, now be off with you.”
Cozy frowned, and pouted towards Tirek. “Aren’t you going to say ‘bye bye, Cozy’?”
Tirek stopped and twitched. He really didn’t want to do it, he did not want to say that. But he let out an awkward smile, and waved to her. “Bye bye, Cozy.”
“Yay! Bye bye, Mister Tirek! My bestest best friend!” Cozy said with a wave as she exited the throne room.
Tirek shuddered as he hung his shoulders low. “This foal… I have to watch myself around her. I’ve never seen anypony willing to sacrifice their own being like that and come out with such an unsettling smile.” Tirek then looked towards you and Discord, and spun the staff between his fingers. “At least she’s willing to share. Now then, Discord, you seemed to be having quite a laugh, mocking me the way you did.” Tirek waved the staff, and transported you, himself, and the bottle up to the highest tower, a tower that nearly reached the clouds. Tirek, using the staff, made a pedestal for the bottle as he approached you. All you could do was scream and shake, as you could feel the end coming.
Discord was banging on the bottle, trying to free himself, actually yelling for you. Tirek ignored him, as he began to laugh. “Oh yes, how pitiful you must feel right now. Left with just enough magic to keep this horn’s form, to filter that magic through it, and to use you as a magical battery. So little magic, but just not enough to save him. Do you really care about him, Discord?”
Discord began to tear up, he was doing his best, snapping his talons to try to produce something to break the bottle.
“Trying to break free? Ah, now that’s an idea. Oh, outworlder… No, Anon, was it? Hold still.” Tirek said with a chuckle, as he began to laugh maniacally, waving the staff at you. He pointed it towards you, and shot a bolt of magic through you. Near instantly, you began to change into silent glass. “Quite the spectacle, don’t you think? There’s an old extinct species that would have loved to see something like this. It really is a work of art. But, ah, you wanted to focus on my family, is that right? How it all shattered before me? How my own brother lacked vision, stole the staff, and betrayed me? Well, Discord, with somepony like you, you can’t help but be a fool and push everpony away. Push them until eventually…” Tirek swung the staff like a bat, smacking it into you, and shattering you into a million pieces. It not only felt like nothing, but your thoughts immediately became nothing. Discord fell to his knees, clutching his fists, literally unable to look at whatever was left of you, coming to realize he was at fault for all of this. Tirek brushed whatever was left of you on the tower off the edge, and looked towards Discord with a very satisfied smile.
You are Twilight Sparkle. The eve of Hearthwarming has arrived. You stood watching over the scared ponies of Ponyville from between the old thrones of the sisters. You had felt, for now, hiding those who had not changed, and bringing them within the walls of the old castle, was best.
That castle, no doubt it was created by Tirek. But how? Although it had been clear that it was forged through chaos magic, you couldn’t imagine Anon nor Discord creating it for him. Not of their own free will anyway. Did they too succumb to this strange ‘change’? Or did Tirek take Anon to force Discord to do as he wishes?
Ponies within Ponyville, their eyes, they all changed to a glowing soft blue. Their will was taken from them as they silently swore their allegiance to the enemy, as they only referred to as their ‘best friend’. Those that hadn’t succumbed were brought to the castle to hide, but for how long?
“Twilight?” Said a familiar voice from behind you. It was Spike.
“Hm? Spike… How is Starlight’s scouting going?” You asked him.
“So far her drone has been able to scout as far as the end of the dungeon. Scrappy was right, the entrance from the castle’s sewer grate is totally unguarded. But, uh, are you sure we should be doing this? Y’know, making plans for an attack?” Spike asked you, clearly concerned.
“The longer we wait, the more powerful this spell becomes. We can’t hesitate.” You tell him, with a militaristic infliction in your tone.
“Look, I get all that. But the elements of harmony haven’t been working since yesterday. I don’t know what Tirek is doing, but if he overpowers you guys, it’s all over, for real. Shouldn’t we try to figure out what happened to them before we do this?” Spike asked.
“I appreciate your concern, Spike. But Tirek won’t wait for that. He’s somehow acquired chaos magic and is using it to morph the town and warp the minds of innocent ponies. I fear he’s somehow found a way to control Discord, and is forcing him to do what he wants. We can’t wait, we have to confront him the moment we have the opportunity.” You said, furrowing your brow as you began to ponder on your own words. Anon and Discord, how? How did Tirek manage to capture the both of them so easily?
Spike sighed, and crossed his arms as he began to think on it himself. “Twilight, I don’t like this. I’ve never seen a bad guy take over this fast, it’s too weird. Are you sure it really is worth just going in instead of finding a way to get the elements to work?”
“There is no other way, Spike. If I had to guess, Tirek may be using Anon as leverage to force Discord to do what he needs him to. That’s the only way I can see this happening. If we can save Anon, Discord won’t have any more reason to help him. It’d then be all of us versus one of him. That being said, what about the dungeon itself? Any prisoners?” You asked him.
“Totally empty. If you’re right, Twilight, Tirek is probably keeping Anon close. This could also all be a trap. Tirek could be setting it up to capture you. And… Wait…” Spike suddenly came upon an epiphany. “Hold on, what if we get Chrysalis to help out? Sneaking into places, is like, her entire thing. Maybe she can help figure out how to save Anon and Discord.”
You shook your head at that suggestion. “Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“What?! Why not?!” Spike asked, in surprise of your statement.
“Too much risk. We have no idea what she might do, or who she’ll hurt. It has to be just us.” You explained to him, hoping he’d understand.
“Mngh, Twilight… I guess you’re right. If Chrysalis runs into any of our friends, she might just blast through them to get them out of her way. But this is still super dangerous, we don’t know what he has up his sleeves. A lot is at stake here, and again, it could be a trap!” Spike said, trying one last time to convince you to think things through better.
You just turned and began to walk through the hallways of the castle to the old bedroom of Celestia where your friends reside. “Spike, Tirek isn’t as clever as he thinks he is. Even if it is a trap, he’ll want to face me down. I can’t imagine his last defeat sat too well with him. It only takes one mistake, and once we’ve freed Anon, Discord will be able to do what he needs to do.”
“That’s assuming that’s even what’s going on. What if he found some other way to control chaos magic?” Spike asked you as he followed.
“Impossible, Anon and Discord are the only ones capable of that.” You tell him.
“What about the Storm King? He had that crazy staff, remember?” Spike reminds you.
The Storm King? For some reason, you only vaguely remember these details. But it was clearly an important fact. But a memory you more vividly remembered was Anon getting rid of him. Along with something else. “And as I remember, Anon got rid of him. If the staff was still around, somepony would have used it already.” And then there was Jimmy. You remembered Anon’s explanation about him. He too was gone, and as you remember, stripped of his powers. Tirek controlling Discord through Anon was the only thing that made sense.
“Huh? Hm… I guess that’s true. Power-hungry maniacs like Tirek wouldn’t have waited to use that thing the moment he got his grubby hands on it.” Spike theorized.
“And even then, he has no way of controlling that kind of chaos without converting it to bolster himself. Unless you can think of any other way he could use chaos magic, Spike, this conversation is over.” You tell him rather harshly, not wanting to spend another moment on the subject.
“Y-yeesh, I was just trying to help.” Spike said as he faltered behind, feeling hurt from your words. But then he realized you had to be under a lot of stress, and rushed back to your side. “Okay, okay, fine. I get it. I’m here for you, Twilight. If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Just stand watch over the townsponies. We have to make sure Tirek’s influence doesn’t reach here. I know Scrappy seems immune to the change, given he took it upon himself to scout the castle. But what about you, have you felt anything?” You asked, staring deep into Spike’s eyes for any sort of change.
“Nope, nothing. Do you think it only affects ponies?” Spike asked.
“So far…” You said in a lower voice, peering past him into the abyss, knowing the situation was more dire than what you let on.
Leaving Spike, you entered the bedroom. Starlight was hard at work peering into a crystal ball, her magic flowing into it as the image of the inner sanctum of the castle wrapped around the orb. The rest of your friends stared in earnest, studying what they were looking at.
“How’s it going? Starlight, have you found anything interesting so far?” You asked her.
“More than you know. None of the ponies inside seem to notice that the drone exists. It’s almost like it doesn’t exist for them at all. I’ve been able to see inside a lot of the castle and I can say Tirek isn’t keeping the place well guarded. Unfortunately, there’s some bad news too. This is as far as I can get the drone, any further and the image gets really fuzzy. So, aside from the throne room, there's a few other parts of the castle I didn't get a chance to check out.” Starlight said as she focused on keeping the drone hovering.
“Hmph, Tirek probably thinks his little spell can affect the likes of us. I bet he thinks he’s untouchable.” Rarity said as she let out a huff.
“Yeah, but there ain’t something right about that there spell. Everypony affected by it got their minds clouded more than an incoming thunderstorm. They all call him his ‘best friend’. Ain’t never known a bad guy like him to care about friendship.” Applejack noted.
“That’s because he’s nopony’s friend!” Fluttershy suddenly let out, angry, crying. “He has Anon and Discord! He’s hurting them! Discord would never do something like this. A-and we’re just standing here, doing nothing. W-we can’t even use the drone to see if they're okay.” Fluttershy began to cry even more, bending over, shattered. “I shouldn’t have let him go on his own. Tirek has him, Discord, and Cozy Glow. I-I bet… I bet that Winter Krumb was him all along, tricking them…”
Rainbow Dash, sensing how traumatized Fluttershy was feeling, rushed over to her and held her, comforting her. “Fluttershy, you gotta relax, okay? We’re the elements of harmony, remember? We’re just gonna do what we always do. Bust in, kick some butt, and rescue everypony. It’s gonna be fine.”
“B-but… The elements, t-they’re not even working” Fluttershy said in a long melancholic whine.
Applejack tensed from those words, and looked over at you, concerned about the entire situation. “She’s got a point, Twi. I’m all for some raw action, but this is Tirek we’re talkin’ about. Do you really think we can take him without the power of the elements?”
“We don’t have a choice. If we wait, and even one other pony succumbs to his spell, it’ll be over. Applejack, do you think you’d be able to focus on anything if any of your family changed?” You asked her, knowing the answer.
“Ngh… It’d make me angry, that’s for sure. But I saw how them ponies were acting, they were throwing themselves at us to try to stop everypony from escaping, as if they didn’t care about themselves. Ah don’t know what I’d do if I had to fight my sister, brother, Granny Smith…” Applejack took off her hat, and looked over at the crystal ball. “Alright, if this is gonna be our last rodeo, let’s make sure we go down swinging.”
“Hey, it sounds like a party to me! We only gotta save Anon to get Discord to stop the spell, right? Easy peasy! Even if he changes half of us, Discord will show that meanie who’s boss and fix everything!” Pinkie said with a cheer.
“Horrible, to think he’d use a foal to get him to do what he wants. Tirek is the lowest form of uncouth scum, and I for one will feel no sympathy for what Discord will do to him. As for me, if it means saving Equestria again, then you know that I simply must be a part of it.” Rarity said, prepping herself, stomping her front hooves down to show how ready she is.
“Normally, I hate not getting enough action, but if I can distract him with my wicked skills and speed, then we should be done and ready for Hearthwarming before you know it!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she pumped her hoof forward.
“...” Fluttershy walked over and stared at the crystal ball, feeling anger, and perhaps… Even hatred well up inside her. “He hurt my family. He’s hurting them right now. If I have to break a chair over Tirek’s head to save my family, then I’m going to break a chair over his head to save them! And I won’t apologize! And I won’t offer first aid! I won’t even offer a kiss to make his booboo feel better! He’s going down! RAGH!” Fluttershy grabbed the crystal ball and angrily threw it to the ground, shattering it into bits.
“Flutter-Agh! Ogh…” Starlight yelled, then whined as her crystal ball was shattered to pieces. “Well, so much for that.”
“Ngh… S-sorry…” Fluttershy said, genuinely apologetic, but her anger still welling up inside her. “B-but… I’m so angry, I just… I never felt so much anger in my life.”
“It’s fine… Okay, so, Twilight, it sounds like you have a plan.” Starlight said, as she began to slap her face a bit, to ready herself. “If you need me as backup, just say the word!”
“No, the six of us are going in through the dungeon alone. You need to stay here with Spike. And if worse comes to worse, and we don’t come back, take everypony to Chrysalis’s manor. Spike knows where it is.” You told Starlight.
“Wha?! Why there?! She’s totally not going to let us use her place as a safehouse.” Starlight said, utterly baffled by your plan.
“In an emergency like this, I think she’ll make an exception. Even then, there should be no reason we can’t take him on. Discord, even by his command, will hesitate to even try anything on us. I somehow doubt Tirek is at full power, which is why he’s using Anon to control Discord. If we all move in and attack all at once, he won’t be able to stop at least one of us from saving Anon.” That was your plan. You felt you knew Tirek enough that he’d be boastful and meander on a decision before he even tried anything. It’d give plenty of time for immediate actions to be done.
“Twilight, are you sure Anon is in the throne room with him? What if he’s somewhere else? Tirek would have to be pretty dumb to keep Anon in the same place he’s controlling Discord, he’d only have to slip up once and Discord could rescue Anon himself, then get rid of Tirek.” Starlight said, finding the plan a little too risky, given what is at risk.
“Discord is connected to Anon in more ways than one at this point. Hiding Anon from him is impossible. Tirek will keep Anon close by, close enough to destroy him before Discord could try anything. I can use my magic to stun Tirek the moment we burst into that throne room, that’s the only moment we need to turn things around.” You explained. There really was no other way to do it, it’d have to be an immediate attack and getting Anon to safety. Hopefully, Discord will be smart enough to react once Anon is out of danger.
“I’m gonna have to fill my party cannon until it's ready to pop! The moment we get in there, BAM, there’s gonna be so much confetti, that you can swim in it!” Pinkie said with excitement, until she suddenly slumped over. “Except, I left it back at Sugarcube Corner… And it’s not Sugarcube Corner anymore…”
“Hey, whatever, don’t worry about it. There’s six of us, he can’t focus on all of us.” Rainbow Dash said as she zipped around the room, before stopping and letting out a cocky chuckle. “He won’t even be able to catch me, things are gonna be fine.”
“See? Starlight, I’m telling you things will be fine. But if they don’t, I need you to take them to the manor. It is made up of chaos itself, so it should hold off the effects of the spell. I know you think there’s no chance she’ll let you all in, but trust me, I don’t think Chrysalis is willing to let us down now that she’s changed.” You explain to her again, hoping she understands.
“Okay… Just, please come back, alright?” Starlight said with heavy concern, wanting all her friends to return safely. “A-and, if Anon says any wild stuff, cut him some slack. He's got every right to say whatever he's got to say.”
You nodded, before looking at your friends. You knew they were ready, but you had to make sure their morale was up, that they were willing to follow you to the end, should that be the case. “Girls, I’m not guaranteeing that we’re going to win this. I know we don’t have the elements, and a full assault seems, well, crazy. But we have our in and we know the castle is barely defended from the inside. If we charge forward, we will be able to stop Tirek. We will save Anon, and Discord, and everypony else that is trapped. I can’t do this alone, but I don’t want to force any of you to come along. So, if you want to stay behind, say so now. Nopony will blame you for staying.”
Nobody said anything, until Applejack gave you a cocky little smirk and said. “Now, Twi, you know when we do somethin’, we all do it together. Ain’t none of us gonna chicken out of this. Right, girls?”
All of them nodded and agreed, with Pinkie in particular blowing on a party streamer to emphasize her readiness.
“Thanks, girls.” You nodded.
This was it…
Just as quickly as Tirek came, he would be defeated. You’d stop at nothing to make sure he goes down for what he’s done.
It had become a twisted form of its former self, with the houses and buildings being worn and twisted, the roads dark and without foliage, and ponies wandering the street in a haze, mindlessly patrolling the streets. You and the girls had taken to hiding in barrels, slowly making your way towards the castle. There thankfully weren’t that many ponies roaming the streets, as they were either inside toiling away or moving without much purpose, it was easy to slip by whenever a group passed.
You all took a moment to regroup near a twisted set of buildings and lift the lids of the barrels to take a look around. “Hm, so far so good, Tirek doesn’t seem to be actively hunting anypony down.”
“Perhaps he doesn’t realize what is going on. Discord might be slowing the process down to give us more time to mount a rescue and make it easier for us to infiltrate.” Rarity surmised, looking around at the near-braindead ponies walking away.
“I dunno, I smell somethin’ rotten. If he took over so fast, why is he suddenly allowin’ Discord to slow down? It don’t make sense. Ah think he’d notice Discord suddenly slacking off.” Applejack said as she peered over at the castle. “Unless… Discord is just tryin’ to give us a way inside without lookin' suspicious. Maybe he can see us somehow.”
“That could make sense. If Tirek doesn’t know we can’t use the elements, then it stands to reason that he wouldn’t just allow us inside. But if Discord makes everything else look like it is according to his plan, then it stands to reason he wouldn't notice that his disgusting sewer would be clear of guards. Yes, I think you’re onto something, Applejack.” Rarity said with praise.
“Fluttershy, do you think that’s something Discord would do?” You ask her.
“Well, Discord does like ruining everypony’s plans. It might explain why everypony doesn’t seem to be paying attention, yet are doing what they are supposed to be doing? Gosh, I hope that's what they're supposed to be doing.” Fluttershy said.
“So, um, what does that mean for us? What if Tirek realizes we did break into his castle and tries to force Discord to stop us?” Pinkie asked, feeling confused about the situation. "I dunno, I'd think he'd be focused more on making sure his 'party' isn't crashed."
“That’s why we’re taking the sewer entrance, ain’t it? Besides, if Tirek does do that, Discord isn't actually gonna fight us. He’d probably just mess around and get us right where we need to be to save him and Anon.” Rainbow Dash lets out an arrogant chuckle. “This is what Tirek gets for thinking he can be as fast as me. There’s literally no way we can lose!”
“Don’t get too arrogant, Rainbow Dash. No mocking, no speeches, nothing. The moment we get into that throne room, we act. Got it?” You said, giving her a rather harsh look.
“Got it! Relax, Twilight. We’ve already gone over the plan a hundred times before we got here, I know what to do.” Rainbow Dash said in a huff.
You began to lower your head back into the barrel as you popped your legs through the holes to slowly sneak on forward. “That may be true, but you still need to focus. Now come on, we’re wasting time!” You practically barked as the rest of your friends followed you to the sewer entrance of the castle.
You stepped into the murky green water first, and popped your head out to see that the bars had been chewed through. Scrappy had made short work of these bars with his teeth, allowing safe passage without having to resort to magic to tear through them.
“Mmnngh, mmnn, eep, oooogh.” Rarity was letting out muffled noises of pain as she stepped into the grungy water. She hated it with every fiber of her being, but she didn’t hesitate to step into it, she knew what was at stake, even if it grossed her out profoundly.
Upon stepping inside the dungeon proper from what seemed to be a sewage dumping area, you came out of the barrel and lit your horn up with a soft green glow, taking a look around as the others followed suit, Rarity creating a soft blue glow for herself. “So this is it. Not a single pony in any of these cells.”
“Maybe Tirek is one of those weird guys who throws parties for himself in a dungeon, and puts all the party goers in the cells, so they can’t get to his cake.” Pinkie said as she let out a soft giggle before suddenly becoming heavily serious. “I don’t like that at all.”
“Anon? Discord?” Fluttershy whispered as she began to frantically scour the dungeon. “Please, say something. Cozy Glow, are you here?”
“Relax, Fluttershy, they ain’t here. Like Twi said, we gotta focus on getting to that throne room.” Applejack said as she put her hoof on Fluttershy’s side to comfort her. “Don’t you worry now, we’re gonna get ‘em out of here safe and sound.”
“So what’s the plan now, Twilight? We have a good idea of where the throne room is, but what about the ponies that are still patrolling the castle?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“If Starlight’s intel was correct, there aren’t that many to worry about. Stick to the shadows, and everypony keep an eye out. We don’t have long to go.” You said to them as you found a staircase that led to a huge double door. “That must lead to the main parts of the castle. After we step through those doors, there’s no turning back.” You told them as you slowly began to approach.
“We’re right behind you, darling.” Rarity said with confidence as she kept to your side, slightly behind to follow, and even to coordinate any evasive maneuvers if needed if you all were to be caught. “We’re all prepared for the worst of it.”
Stepping through the doors, you all entered a hallway with armor made for centaurs lining the hall with torches lining the walls. No guards at all, though perhaps none were needed for an empty dungeon. You all made your way through the halls, keeping in mind the path of the drone to help determine a way to the throne room. Across the castle, you all reach the main hallway. You look over to the vestibule of the castle and see two ponies mindlessly looking towards the giant gated entrance doors to the castle, they weren’t looking back at all.
You lead the group up a set of stairs. Given everything the drone explored, you knew the throne room wasn’t on the lower floors like a typical castle, Tirek clearly didn’t care to deal with his ‘peasants'’ problems or hold any festivals. It was likely higher up in the castle in a secure location.
Heading into the higher rooms, the population of guards once again becomes next to nothing. In fact, there wasn’t a single pony in the higher floors of the castle at all.
“How peculiar.” Rarity said as she peered down a set of hallways. “You’d think Tirek would have some defenses closer to his throne room. Twilight, excuse me for being worried, but are we sure he isn’t expecting us? Is it possible that he saw us coming?”
Even if he did, you all were quick to enter the castle, you’d have noticed ponies leaving in groups with how quickly you infiltrated. Even then, you could sense how the ponies were feeling as you passed by, caught in a trance of false friendship that to them, felt true. You’d have felt more of that if Tirek had caught on given it’d take a while to evacuate the castle for your arrival. “I don’t think so. Tirek, like Discord, thinks he can do no wrong once he sets his plans into motion. As said before, he’s probably trying to force Discord to expand his influence and nothing else, nothing else is important to him right now. I feel as if he’s trying to capture us in the ‘change’, that way he doesn’t have to deal with us at all.”
“Then we have to hurry! He might be torturing Anon right now to force Discord to do what he wants!” Fluttershy let out a cry as Rainbow Dash rushed towards her and holds her mouth shut.
“F-Fluttershy, calm down! We’re gonna make it, okay? But if somepony does hear us, then we lose the chance to sneak up on the guy. Fluttershy, we’ll save ‘em all. You just gotta stay calm.” Rainbow Dash was being serious, empathetic to Fluttershy’s plight. She looked into her eyes, almost like a caring sister, wanting her to know things would be okay.
Fluttershy nodded, and summoned all her will to calm herself. She then looked forward, and took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m ready.”
You all continued forward. And that’s when you saw it, the drone had fallen next to a set of double doors. You left it alone for now, as there was no reason to pick it up. It seems like no one had noticed it fall once Fluttershy destroyed Starlight’s crystal ball. You looked back at the group, and slowly opened the doors. They led to a long and sinister grand set of stairs with portraits of Tirek hanging along either side of the wall.
Pinkie Pie stepped up to take a look herself, looked at the pictures, and stuck her tongue out in disgust. “Yuck, who has so many pictures of themselves without showing off any of their friends?”
“Tirek…” You said as you slowly began to ascend the stairway. “This has to be it…”
The six of you carefully stepped up and climbed the stairway, until you all came upon a huge set of double doors with Tirek-shaped knockers on both sides of them. There was no lock, it was free to open by anyone. You felt… Anxious. This was it…
You looked back at your friends, and readied yourself. “We only get one shot at this, girls. Are you ready?”
All of them prepared themselves, Rainbow Dash hovering up as Applejack tilted her hat forward. This was it.
You prepped your magic, ready to blast Tirek with no remorse, and shoved the doors aside as you all rushed in. You immediately blast a giant green bolt of magic towards the thrones in front of you… And hit nothing, you just leave a black burnt splotch on the wall.
“What in the? Where is everypony?” Rainbow Dash asked as she zoomed around the empty room.
The throne room was empty. The only thing inside were the two thrones, the torches, the red carpet, and a mysterious large white lamp glowing up on the ceiling. “What is this?”
“Hey, what’s that?” Pinkie pointed out as the floor began to open as a large screen began to rise from it.
“A television screen? What?” What was this?!
The screen came on, revealing Tirek. “Well, isn’t this surprising? I was only expecting five of you to show up at some point, but somehow all six of you decided to show up much earlier than expected. Either way, welcome to my castle, I apologize for the lack of accommodations, but as you can see, I’m in the middle of conquering Equestria at the moment.”
Much earlier? So this wasn’t even a trap? But then, how did he? “Where are you, Tirek? Are you afraid to face us?”
“Me? Not particularly. I’m actually quite intrigued by everything I saw through our hidden security cameras. I have to say, I’ve been learning more and more about this outworlder’s world through these tapes, and everything I’ve seen that they are capable of would make for quite the technological revolution. A revolution I plan to keep for myself.” Tirek said with sinister laughter.
Security cameras? So that’s it, he hasn’t just been using Discord, he’s been using Anon to learn more about the human world. He’s been using Discord’s magic to bolster his power through technology.
Fluttershy stomped over to the television, and began to yell, grabbing and shaking it. “Where’s Discord, Cozy Glow, and Anon, you monster!? WHERE?! WHERE ARE THEY!?”
“Ah, I remember you, the legendary Fluttershy.” Tirek said with a dark chuckle. “I’ll be happy to divulge their locations.” Suddenly, Tirek looked over at you through the screen. “If Twilight Sparkle decides to share a bit of truth of her own. But first, I want to make a guess as to why you’re not wearing your elements right now. They’re not working, correct?”
He knows…
“Truth? What do ya know about honesty, ya black-hearted rat!” Applejack shouted towards him.
“Not much, but I know a lie when I see one. But allow me to be an element of generosity as well and at least tell you that Discord, well, he hangs in that orb above you, supplying me with the magic I need to create the chaotic harmonic flux that will soon control everypony in Equestria. Now then, Twilight, the truth?” Tirek said as he awaited your ‘truth’, staring deep into you.
You began to tense up. Discord wasn’t using his magic. Somehow, Tirek was using him as a battery. But how? The staff… Was it the staff? Anon had told you that it was gone, so how? None of this was making sense.
“Twilight, what is he talking about? What does he mean by ‘the truth’?” Rarity asked as she looked over at you.
“He’s just trying to get into our heads!” Rainbow Dash angrily said as she began to shout at Tirek. “Come on out, you coward, so we can kick your butt! We can see you ain’t fully powered up yet! Afraid to get stomped by a bunch of mares?! Huh?!”
You looked at Rarity with growing despair. The truth…
Your truth…
He knew. But how could he know? Unless, the reason for her disappearance…
Was him…
Tirek ignored Rainbow Dash for a moment to address you. “Not going to say anything? Alright, then allow me to produce the next element, the element of kindness. You wish for me to come out, blue one? Alright, but prepare yourselves, I doubt you’re ready to see what I’m about to show you.”
The screen sunk back into the floor. Suddenly, the wall behind the thrones began to open up, revealing a mechanized room with security screens all over the walls. Everyone in the room gasped in horror, not from the screens, not from Tirek revealing he was watching them from within the room, but from a pony floating asleep in a tube. An alicorn in all actuality.
It was Twilight Sparkle…
“H-how? How is Twilight there… And here?!” Rarity said in utter shock.
“What’s going on here?! What is this?! Tirek, what in the hay are you up to?!” Rainbow Dash screamed in sudden raging anger, utterly baffled and enraged by what she was seeing. “Who is that?!”
“Why, don't you recognize her? That’s Twilight Sparkle herself. I must admit, I was confused as to why nopony seemed to have been trying to find her after we captured her. But seeing THAT Twilight Sparkle, it became quite clear. How do you even think I was able to control the citizens of Ponyville? Oh, you must have thought with simple hypnotism. No, I’m afraid that wouldn’t keep those Wendigos away. But to manipulate the purity and magic of friendship, to control it without destroying it, it’ll allow us to control Equestria forever!” Tirek said as he laughed triumphantly before reaching behind himself and pulling out the staff. “And with this, you have no chance to stop us!”
“Twilight…?” Fluttershy looked back at you, crying, scared.
“This has gotta be a trick! There can’t be two Twilights! That’s a fake, like that one Chrysalis made of Anon! Nice try, Tirek, but you ain’t fooling us! Come on, girls, snap out of it! If we don’t stop him now, Equestria is doomed!” Applejack cried out as she tried to rally up her friends.
Suddenly, everyone heard an adorable yawn come from behind Tirek. Cozy Glow began to climb up from his back to the top of his head, and looked down at him. “H-hey, Mister Tirek, did I miss anything?” She then looked forward and saw all of you. “Awww, were you doing the big reveal without me?”
Tirek slumped forward with a groan. “I was… You do realize you need to be asleep to spread our reach, right?”
“I know, I know, I’m the catalyst and stuff, but I can’t sleep every hour of the day! Especially when all my professors are here!” Cozy said with a tired giggle.
“Cozy Glow?!” Your group let out with utter shock.
“Tirek… Forcing foals into your plan. That’s unforgivable. You disgusting, immoral, putrid monster! Do you have anything to say for yourself?!” Rarity demanded an answer, this was detestable to her. She could no longer hold back her feelings.
“I can say this is my representation of the element of loyalty. When I said ‘us’, I meant my partner, the one who orchestrated all of this. No need to introduce her, as you all seem to know her already.” Tirek said with an arrogant smirk.
“Yup yup! Hi, everypony! I’m your new empress of friendship, Cozy Glow! And you already know the emperor of hatred, Mister Tirek! Oh, and let me give a very special howdy to Chrysalis! It’s nice to finally meet you!” Cozy said with a wave towards you.
Everypony gasped, it seems it was finally making sense to them. You wanted to make a move while Tirek was speaking. But Anon was nowhere to be seen. He was smart enough to keep him captive somewhere, perhaps in a space you couldn’t get to, to make sure you didn’t outright destroy him.
“Chrysalis?... No… You wouldn’t.” Fluttershy looked over at you, as tears began to flow from her eyes. “Tell me you’re not her…”
Cozy’s sunny smile began to become more sinister as she looked over at you. “Awww, poor Chrysalis. Leeeet me guess, you thought you could take us on with just raw power and save your friends, huh? But you can’t do that, not until you know where Anon is, right? I bet you thought he was with us, and you’d use Twilight’s friends as distractions to save him and stop Mister Tirek. Golly, you can still try, you could even possibly win right now! But then you’d never know what we did with Anon, and you don’t even know what would happen to Twilight! What’s wrong? Do you care enough that you wouldn’t risk Twilight too? Don’t you hate her?” Cozy Glow began to cackle evilly “Pathetic! You’re worse than Anon AND Discord!”
“Shut up! SHUT UP!” You were fooled! Dammit! They had Twilight all this time! You had thought she went to get help without telling anyone. Perhaps seeking Starswirl even. But no, somehow these two, they managed to capture her on the same day as Discord and Anon. You began to lose focus on your form, as you began to change to your original self, seraphic wings and all.
“I-it really was Chrysalis.” Rarity said in shock.
“Chrysalis! What are ya doin’!? Was this a set up?! Are you workin’ with them?!” Applejack began to accuse you of betraying them, basically setting them up to be captured.
Ngh, no, everything was falling apart! “Don’t be a fool! All of Equestria is at stake here! Get off your high horse and focus!”
“Then what’s going on here?! How did they capture Twilight?! Why did you pretend to be her?! Huh?!” Rainbow Dash shouted out towards you.
“Stop!” Fluttershy cried out, calling the attention of everypony, including yourself. “C-Chrysalis was just trying to help! She’s good, remember?! She only wanted to save Anon and Discord!
“B-but… Ngh. I-if we attack now, w-we’d be hurting… Our best friend.” Pinkie said in a whine as she suddenly began to fall back, holding her head.
“Pinkie Pie?! Whatever is the matter?! What’s wrong?” Rarity cried out, before suddenly tripping forward, holding her head as if she was in pain. "Ngh, my h-head!"
“Nmmngh! S-something’s wrong! I-I can’t think s-straight!” Rainbow Dash began to fall and roll in pain as she held on to her head.
“R-Rainbow Dash?! Ngh, w-what’s goin’ on?! NGH!” Applejack fell forward, her hat falling off, groaning in agony.
“Girls! Girls! What’s wrong!” Fluttershy cried out to them as they rolled on the ground yelling.
“Look, Mister Tirek, looks like now that they’re so close to us, and not focused on that fake Twilight anymore, that they’re realizing who their true friends are.” Cozy said with a giggle.
“Amazing, despite all the risks, it really is working. Oh yes, now, now nothing can stop us!” Tirek said as he gripped his fist forward in triumph.
“Chrysalis, what’s going on?! What’s happening to them?!” Fluttershy rushed over to you, scared, not knowing what's going on.
It was the ‘change’. So that’s how it worked. This, Cozy Glow. Anon… You heard that name before, Anon accused you of working with her once. She was the mastermind behind all this?! Dammit, this flux, it is causing the ponies strongest to friendship to change, that’s what’s going on. And they’re using Twilight, the princess of friendship herself. Everypony loves her, any connection to her in any way, that’s what causes the ‘change’, as their love is transferred to be controlled to the ‘catalyst’, that Cozy Glow. “Get out of here, Fluttershy. You're not affected! Get out of here, fly away before you succumb! I’ll deal with them alone!”
“I-I can’t! I can’t leave you! I can’t leave Anon!” She looked up at the orb on the ceiling as she began to sob. “I-I can’t leave Discord!”
Cozy groaned at those words, becoming annoyed that Fluttershy hadn’t succumbed and was still whining about Discord and Anon, and that Chrysalis seemed more boring than she thought she’d be. “Wow, you are all super boring. Bla bla Anon, bla bla Discord! Yuck! What’s so great about them anyway? Discord is just a big meanie, we did Equestria a favor trapping him. And Anon? Let’s be honest, he made Equestria worse for everypony. Putting friends in danger, being a jerk, never really hanging out with his other friends. If anypony was gonna cause those nasty Wendigos to show up, it was gonna be him. So, Mister Tirek got rid of him.”
What?...
You suddenly froze up. Fluttershy wasn’t much better. The sounds of anguish from the others disappeared as suddenly everything felt like nothing.
“Got r-rid? W-what do you…” Fluttershy gasped as she brought her hooves to her mouth. “Y-you didn’t… You’re lying!”
“Oh no, she’s telling the truth.” Tirek said with an evil grin. “Letting him leave was too dangerous, it already seemed like he would be immune to our spell. So the only smart decision to make was to destroy him, quite literally.”
…
…
They killed him.
Anon, the annoying runt, the idiot who saw more than just evil in you, the moron who stayed by your side, even after you tried to kill him. The easily manipulated fool who gave you all that you could want with his magic. The wonderful human who would indulge in your evil thoughts, and cared about how you felt, even if what you felt was cruelty. Who laughed with you, and even cried with you. The one who brought you out of the brink of darkness and insanity.
You could feel something bubble within you, a familiar feeling. An ugly feeling, and yet, the feeling was so good. You weren’t a pony, you knew letting go wasn’t good enough for you. It didn’t matter if what you wanted wouldn’t bring him back. He would’ve done the same if it happened to you. You could feel all those warm memories flash before you. You could remember him dealing with your drunken stupor, you could remember him nearly sacrificing himself time and time again to either try to reform you or just make you happy. The car rides, the fact he was even kind enough to humor you despite your callous commands for more things. You could even remember the first time you watched Starship Troopers with him. He meant to scare you, but in the end, you both just had a good time watching it.
You could even remember your first meeting. He and Discord had fooled you, he made a mockery of you. And yet, all it did was make you cry when you remembered how he asked for accommodations without fear, how adorable and intelligent he seemed, even if you knew now he was a moron.
He was a respectable little dipshit…
No, he was a good friend, somepony you should have shown more respect. Somepony you should have shown that he was appreciated...
He showed you that friendship, as detestable as the concept is, wasn’t that bad. That you could trust more, to have friends like Little Sister.
Little Sister...
It was how you found out something was wrong. She had came to you, braving the forest with Scrappy guiding her, leaving when that castle burst through Twilight’s school. She knew Anon was there.
You had heard the chatter that Twilight had suddenly disappeared without telling anypony. You thought, if you could rally her friends as Twilight, you could win.
But these ingrates, these fucking bastards. They were thinking like humans, that’s how they did it.
And then…
They killed him…
“Oh, please, don’t cry.” Tirek said, disgusted with your display of empathy. “Don’t make me lose whatever respect I still had for you. Imagine, the queen of the changelings crying over an outworlder. You’ve fallen, Chrysalis, you’ve fallen hard. I would extend an offer to you to join us, as your ability to eat love could circumvent a theoretical issue with our plan. But it has become clear these ponies have made you too pathetic to join the likes of us.”
“...You bastards.” You growled as tears rolled down your cheeks, your fangs bared. “You killed him.”
“You would have done the same. How many lives did you destroy within your lifetime? Hm?” Tirek asked, slowly grinning at the thought that he even managed to topple you, an ancient legend.
“I don’t care about that! I cared about him! You hear me?! You fucking bastards! He was the only one who really cared, and out of everypony, you killed him! I’m going to kill you! I’LL KILL ALL OF YOU!” You screamed. Your wings began to glow as you began to float up, you could feel all that love for him, the love he had for you, even the love Fluttershy has for you, Little Sister, everything, all that you refrained from eating. Little Sister, Anon, Fluttershy, down to even the ones you barely cared about, like Spike and Scootaloo. Scrappy, your captain, who stood by your side always, he was your last loyal child. If this is your last stand, you wished you could tell him that you were truly proud of him. Not as a queen, but as a mother.
You began to glow brighter and brighter.
“Um…” Cozy Glow backed up a little, hiding behind Tirek’s head nervously. “What’s going on? Mister Tirek?”
“Tch, a minor problem, that’s all.” Tirek spun the staff in his hands and aimed towards you. “Alright, Chrysalis, if you miss him that much, then allow me to oblige you the same-GYAH!” Tirek jumped back as green flames began to shoot up and around from the ground, as the torch’s flames turned from red to green, shooting up like pillars. Your wings began to flap, releasing magical residue like angel wings around you. “What is this?! Where is this power coming from?!”
“Mister Tirek! Do something already! I didn’t ruin my cuteness to lose here! Stop her!” Cozy shouted as she began to jump angrily on his back.
“I’m trying!” Tirek shouted as he tried to aim the staff. But the power, it was too strong for him to eat, and the force too powerful for him to even hold his ground and fight. “This power, it rivals the elements themselves!”
You stared at Tirek with a venomous glare, like an angel of death about to bring ruin to all around him. “Tirek, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” You asked him.
There was a long silence, before Tirek let out a “What?”
Without another word, your horn began to focus everything you had, and with a flash of deathly green, your horn began to fire a gigantic beam of magic. A beam made of your sorrow, your love, your memories. Everything that made you the Chrysalis you are now.
This was for him.
“Impossible!” Tirek raised the staff and used it to block the beam. He was grunting as the beam was slowly pushing him back. The power, it was too strong. Such force, he was losing his footing, holding on to the staff with dear life as he knew if he faltered even once, he was doomed.
“W-wahhhh!” Cozy flew back from the force back into the security room, crashing onto the ground.
You began to slowly approach, continuing to fire your magic, your wings glowing brighter and brighter as you focused on everything you had to destroy Tirek. The walls of the throne room began to break, forming holes. The security screens in the back began to shatter one by one. You were putting everything into it.
“T-this is it… The outworlder was right, this is deus ex machina! No!” Tirek put both hands on the staff, trying to aim it towards you, trying to make a last-ditch effort to stop you. He could feel the beam weakening, but if he didn’t try anything, it wouldn’t matter, he’d be doomed.
“This is the end, Tirek!” Your voice was booming, loud, godlike even. You didn’t even care if this saved Equestria or not. You would avenge Anon, no matter the cost.
“N-Ngh! No! I’ve-come-too-far!” Tirek cried out. That’s when he heard it. A crack? He looked upon the staff. It was cracking?! No! “No! No! I-I won’t let you! I WON’T LET YOU!” Tirek, with all his might, swung the staff, releasing a hellish wave of red.
You were faltering, you did your best to hold back the wave of chaotic magic. But it was too strong, even with the force you were exerting. “No!” You’re sent flying backwards, your power leaving you after using so much magic.
Tirek was panting hard, falling to his knees as he looked upon the staff. “She managed it… The staff is damaged. Even with chaos and harmony coursing through it now, she cracked it! We’re going to miss it, Hearthwarming!” Tirek began to become enraged as he weakly stood up. “You! Do you realize how long it will take to mend the staff?! You reduced its power immensely!” Tirek aimed the staff at you, growling, weak, only barely able to aim it. “You ruined everything, I’m going to destroy you!”
You didn’t do it…
Even with all that power, he was still standing…
You slowly stood up, trying to muster up any energy you could, even trying to absorb any love in the room to at least give it one last try. If you couldn't stop him here, all would be lost.
“It’s time to go, you lowly insecRSHGFG” Tirek is attacked! Fluttershy jumped onto his face, attacking him fiercely as he falls back, accidentally firing the staff at the orb above, knocking it down in front of you.
“C-Chrysalis, run! Take Discord and run! Please!” Fluttershy cried out as she actually tried her best to be violent, to slow Tirek down.
“Are you an idiot!? What about you?!” You cried out. You felt it, her love. She was risking her life for you, even though she still only barely knew you. Why?! WHY?!
...
You couldn’t leave her behind, you couldn’t lose anypony else!
“I can feel it, Chrysalis! My c-care for Twilight! It’s, ngh!” Fluttershy was still attacking, but she was faltering, you could already see her eyes starting to glow.
…
Her eyes...
Even if it felt painful, you knew you had to cut these feelings here. It was too late for her. Dammit, this was your one chance! Anon…
No… You were Chrysalis, you’d have your revenge. Not today, but… yes, if you had Discord, then perhaps you’d be able to slow them down even further.
Fluttershy…
You will come back for her…
You began to flap your wings as you wrapped your hooves around the orb. You were able to barely carry it. You looked towards one of the holes you made, and flew through it, not looking back.
“You stu-stupid little…! G-GRRR! GET OFF OF ME!” Tirek growled as he finally managed to grab a hold of Fluttershy and threw her back at the doors behind her friends. He quickly grabbed the staff and aimed it towards her. “You’re done! I’m going to destroy you!”
“STOP!” Yelled Cozy Glow, who was crawling out from the security room.
“Don’t stop me now! They ruined everything! The staff is damaged! We won’t be able to use Hearthwarming to spread our influence across Equestria! And…” Tirek looks up, then around. “Wait! She took him! She took Discord!”
“And?” Cozy said as she walked beside Tirek and pushed the staff away from him. He was so weak, even her gentle push was enough to knock it out of his hands. “Look at her, she’s ours now.”
“So what? Our power has been cut down! Didn’t you see how much power she had? We can’t withstand that again!” Tirek shouted. "We won't be able to conquer Equestria like this!"
“Oh, we will. So we’ll miss Hearthwarming, so what? The staff can heal its booboo and feel all better, right? As long as we still have the connection to dumb dumb Discord, it will get better, it doesn't matter where he is. Besides, we now have the elements of harmony. We can let Princess Twilight out to play if we need to use that power.” Cozy said as she began to fix her mane again.
“How can you be so sure they can even use the elements in this state?” Tirek asked, angry at how calm she seemed after such a massive setback.
“That’s the point of the chaotic harmonic flux, isn’t it? Or the ‘Cozy Friendification’ as I like to call it. It isn’t like Discord’s twisting of their minds to make them useless. They’re all still really good friends and love each other, they are still tied to their elements. It’s just they will consider me their bestest best friend and will do whatever I say. If Chrysalis tries that again, we’ll just use our new harmony shields against her.” Cozy said while hugging on Tirek. “Why don’t you get some rest and I’ll take it from here, huh?”
“You’re becoming too arrogant, Cozy. That attack was unexpected, even you didn’t see it coming. The staff holds the power of Discord's chaos and Twilight's harmony, and she was able to damage it anyway.” Tirek told her, stepping back to get her off his leg.
Cozy began to become annoyed with him. “It’s a minor setback. Don’t be a jerk, Mister Tirek. We completed step four. It’s just gonna take awhile to do step five. Our influence still covers Tirglowville. So nopony else will be able to attack us”
“So you say…” Tirek takes back the staff, and grips it tight. “I will use the power we still have to forge a barrier around the town. Any of the changed will be able to step in, but not step out. Conversely, those who resist or will not change will not be able to pierce the barrier from either side. We need to secure ourselves as we regain our lost power and grow our forces with anypony stupid enough to venture near Tirglowville.”
“Okay, what else are we gonna do?” Cozy asked, crossing her forelegs, looking at Tirek with an irritated look.
“For now? Nothing. The staff is damaged, exerting any more power than we’re already using is dangerous, horn or no horn. You will refrain from using the staff. Got it?” Tirek said sternly, pointing down at her.
“Ugh! Okay, fiiiiiiiiiine!” Cozy Glow huffed. “Great, now I’m stuck walking around like a dumb earth pony.” She said as she looked back at her contorted and warped wings.
Tirek looked at the controlled five, then back at Twilight, then back at them with an irritated glare. “Whatever. You five, prepare me a feast! I need something to take the edge off.”
“Oh! Oh! And make me a sugary snack!” Cozy said, hopping about adorably, wanting to be heard.
The five ponies nodded, and left through the throne doors.
Tirek walked over to the holes in the walls, and looked down upon the town in deep thought. "Deus Ex Machina... What else lies in store for us?" He felt destroying the outworlder was too hasty, and that things were already falling apart. He knew he should have stuck to his instincts, and forced more information out of him. He slowly came to realize how you were able to produce so much power as well, he’d have to make sure not to give you another reason to muster such power. Not until he was able to destroy you.
But for you, as you held Discord’s orb, you finally crashed down in front of your manor, the orb falling next to the door.
All that power, if you hadn’t left then and there, you would have been destroyed.
Fluttershy... Why?
Dammit...
You could barely move anymore…
Then you heard it, the knob of your door turning, and the door itself opening.
“Big Sis!?”
“My queen!? MY QUEEN!”
“Scrappy! Grab Big Sis! Help me get her inside!”
You were barely conscious as they brought you inside.
But deep in your mind, the thing keeping you going…
“Shining?” Cadance looked at you from her seat, worried, yet annoyed. Well, yeah, she’s annoyed. But you had to be vigilant, you had to be at your best! Maybe she didn’t understand the dangers, but you had to be in top condition to protect her, Flurry, and Twily.
You are Shining Armor.
You were sitting on your seat next to your awesome wife, with your just as awesome daughter playing around on your head. You were on a train to Ponyville, a bit of a late ride, since you’d be arriving in the evening on Hearthwarming eve. It wasn’t ideal, but you know Twily would be excited to see all of you despite that. You had on your new and improved prototype magic armor. It totally, erm, wasn’t perfect. You didn’t know if it could stop Chrysalis’s magic, but it does stop everypony else's AND you can control it with your own to affect how strong its power is. And most importantly, it didn’t affect you at all while wearing it! That meant when Chrysalis eventually, and you know she will, crashes the-
“Shining!” Cadance yelled softly at you this time as to not startle Flurry, giving you a bit of a shove.
“Huh, wha? What’s wrong, honey?” You asked her, confused as to what was wrong.
“Nothing, other than you looking like you were imagining Chrysalis ruining everything. How many times have you conquered her already in your head?” She asked in a sarcastic tone.
“Erm… Like a hundred?” You said, sheepishly smiling at her.
“And that’s exactly the problem. You were doing so well, Shining. Why are you suddenly so uptight? And why did you have to bring that?” Cadance asked, giving a less than approving look at your armor. “Chrysalis isn’t planning to attack Twilight, you know that, right?”
“I don’t want to take any chances. How many times has Anon assured us everything was fine? I’m not taking his word for it this time. If Chrysalis wants to prove she’s reformed, then she’ll think twice about trying anything during Hearthwarming. One wrong move, and I’ll stop her then and there!” You said as you made stabby motions as if you had a spear.
Cadance sighed in frustration. You didn’t understand why she was so impatient with you. You were there that day, she wasn’t. Even if Chrysalis stopped for Anon, it was only by chance. She has proven she won’t hesitate to hurt your sister. “Look, I understand your concern. I really do. I love Twilight too and I’d never want to see anything happen to her. But did you see her last letter? Chrysalis is part of Spike’s roleplaying group now. Not to mention that she’s getting along with Fluttershy. You know, Fluttershy, the type of pony she’d normally really hate? Can’t you just give her one chance without making it look like you want to put a spear through her?”
You just blinked dumbly at her before making stabby motions again.
“Okay then…” Cadance said with a heavy sigh. “How about this? I’ll go talk to Anon and see if he can arrange a meeting tonight. As in, a meeting with me, not with you. That way I can assess if you need to take a chill.”
“What?!” You can’t allow that! What if she captures her again?! Or worse?! “You can’t do that! You know what she’s capable of! I can’t let you do that!”
“Honey…” Cadance let out another sigh, and rubbed her hoof gently under your chin as she gave you a concerned look. “I really do understand. It’s why I can’t let you keep worrying so much, it isn’t good for you. Let me do this, alright? I want you to see that everything is going to be fine.”
You frowned, it just… It filled you with so much worry. You didn’t understand why she’d put herself at such a huge risk. But, that look in her eye, she really was worried about you. Were you acting that crazy? Well, it was Chrysalis, so obviously not. You thought about your options. If you say no, she’ll be really annoyed, but you’ll be protecting her. And if you say yes, you’ll be putting her in danger because she thinks Chrysalis won’t try anything.
What to say…
Though, the longer it took for you to reply, the more visibly annoyed she seemed to get. “Look, if she captures me, then you can seal her in Tartarus and be done with her forever. Will you calm down now?”
Maybe, but the fact that she’d be captured doesn’t make it any better.
“Shining, are you going to say something?” She asked, staring hard at you.
Uh oh, you knew that stare. Darnit, if you say no now, you’d be doomed. You still didn’t want to do it, but… What if you were wrong? Man, you don’t want to be wrong, after what Chrysalis did to you and Cadance… But you couldn’t wait anymore. In the end, her happiness was the most important thing. For now, you’d fold, and just make sure to keep both eyes open. “Okay, okay, I hear what you’re saying. But could you maybe not go to see her alone? I promise not to cause a problem if she shows up at the castle, but I also don’t want to worry about what she might do being alone with you.”
“Progress…” Cadance whispered to herself with a sigh before giving you a softer look. “Promise?”
“I will give up all my comics if I screw up.” You say, giving her a salute.
Cadance leaned over her seat and gave you a gentle hug. “Thank you, Shining. I promise, everything is going to g-Ngh…” Suddenly, Cadance winced as she grabbed onto her head with her hooves.
“Cadance?! What’s wrong?!” What the?! Why was she suddenly in pain?! Even Flurry was suddenly reaching out to her, worried.
“I-it’s nothing, just a sudden headache. Ngh…” Cadance said, trying to relax in her chair as she squirmed and whined. “Actually, I-I feel really dizzy.”
You gently use your magic to place Flurry in front of her to hold, and grab the baby bag from the cabinet above you. “Hold on! I’ll get some medicine!” You said as you frantically began to look through the bag. “C’mon, c’mon, didn’t we put any in here?! Ngh, darnit!” You quickly got up, and began to look around. “Don’t worry, Cadance, I got this. Hey, anypony got any headache medicine?!” You called out the the other passengers.
But something was… Really eerie. You didn’t realize until now that they all had stopped talking, and didn’t even seem to be responding to you. It was pretty creepy. “O-okay, I’ll, uh, check the other car. Be right back, I promise” You say to Cadance as you rush out the door to the next car.
Standing between cars, you could hear the clickity clack of the tracks. You looked to your sides, you were already close to Ponyville. You couldn’t let Twily see Cadance in pain. Not on your watch! You steeled yourself, and moved on to the next car. It looked about the same as the last, seats on either side of the row. However, something was wrong. Almost a moment after stepping in, you hear the screams of some girls in trouble. “What the?!”
“Hey, get away from us, you jerks! What did we do to you?!”
“What’s going on, why are they attacking like this?! I thought we were all allies!”
“Yona shove seats aside, use as shield! Get behind Yona!”
“S-something’s wrong with them! I-I can feel it, it’s as if their entire being is being manipulated!”
You look over at the commotion and see everypony in the car attacking a strange group. A dragon, a yak, a hippogriff, and… A changeling? Wait, they looked familiar, you think you may have seen them once or twice when visiting Twily’s school. Were those her students?! Why were they being attacked?! “Hey, everypony! Calm down and back off, tell me what the issue is!”
You could only hear more yelling from the girls as the ponies outright ignored you.
“Hey, I’m serious! Back off! There’s no reason to be violent.” You barked at them.
Still nothing.
Okay, you didn’t want to do this. “By order of Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire, I order you all to stand down!”
Still nothing, they were attacking mindlessly, the girls trying to shake them off. Their eyes, that was the weirdest part, they all started to glow blue. Those kinds of eyes, the mindlessness, it seemed so familiar. However, your thought process was broken by another shriek. Okay, time for desperate measures. “I said back off!” You released a powerful burst of magic, sending all the ponies flying to the other end of the car.
“Woah, what was that?!” The dragon said as she looked back at the launched ponies.
“Hey, that pony saved us!” The hippogriff said before waving at you happily. “Thank you, unknown pony!”
But the changeling, the way she looked at you, she recognized you? “Prince Shining Armor? W-what are you doing here? A-are you alright?”
You could ask the same of all of them. What was going on? You tensed as you looked at the changeling. Could it be her? Was she working for Chrysalis? No, no, she was changed like King Thorax. You had spoken to him before on his few visits to the empire. Despite being a changeling, he seemed like a good guy, and it was Princess Celestia and Luna who reformed him, so he could be trusted. All the changelings changed in form to represent this as well. All but that evil queen, Chrysalis… “Yeah, but what’s going on? Why were they attacking all of you?!”
The yak shrugged. “Yona not know. We all just sitting just fine. Then everypony go silent, then suddenly attack!”
“Seriously? Don’t you think that seems a little too, I dunno, weird?” You asked them.
The dragon then pointed at you angrily. “Weird?! That’s all you got to say about it? They were about to rip us apart! What, did you think we provoked them or something?!”
“What?! N-no…” Wait… Actually, all the ponies in your car went silent at first too. Why? “But it seems pretty weird t-WOAH!” You suddenly dodge to the side as a pony lunges at you. The ponies were getting back up, mumbling to themselves, as they began to attack. No time to talk, you’d have to figure it out later. For now, you had to protect them and get back to Cadance and Flurry! “Everycreature, run ahead of me!” You told them as you stepped aside, your horn glowing as you give the attacking ponies another blast to send them back. “I’ll hold them off!”
One by one, they began to rush past you. The changeling, however, looked back at them, staring at them for some reason. You didn’t have time to think about it. The moment you had your chance, you rushed back to the door to get outside the car. You then aimed your horn at the door and jammed it, blocking them from getting through it. “There, that should hold them.”
“Yeah! Thanks for the save! But, um, why were they acting like that? Was it the peanuts? The peanuts were pretty bad, but not ‘destroy us’ bad!” The hippogriff said as she backed off from the door, the ponies pounding on it.
“I don’t think so!” The dragon said as she pointed at the door. “They went nuts for no reason! Seriously, what’s their problem?!”
“Smolder, it’s not their fault…” Said the changeling.
What?
“What are you talking about, Ocellus?” Smolder asked, confused.
“Something is wrong with them. I could feel it, I thought it was nothing at first, maybe just a few ponies feeling anxious. But then it felt worse, terrible even. It was as if their love and friendship were being twisted… No, redirected even. It was like they only started to care about somepony, and only that pony. Any of their other feelings were still there, but… It felt so faint.” Ocellus explained.
“You mean, they were hypnotized? Is that what you’re saying?” You asked Ocellus. So, this was her game…
“It’s deeper than that. This isn’t hypnosis, this is something that can’t be broken. At least, I have no idea how to break it. Wait…” Ocellus was suddenly looking at your armor. “Is… is that armor made from our former queen’s throne?”
You nodded. “Yeah, modified to be powered through my magic. Hm, this is probably why I wasn’t affected then, right?”
Ocellus shook her head. “No, I just thought it was… Strange. But, erm, I think the reason you’re not being affected is because. Well, it looks like you’re so focused on hating somepony that whatever it is can't seem to change you.”
“What about us?” Smolder asked.
“Yeah, how come we’re not all weird like them?” The hippogriff asked.
“I… think because it only affects ponies. Something, something is off, I can feel it getting stronger and stronger, as if it’s coming from…” Ocellus suddenly stretched her head out some to look ahead. Suddenly, she became full of dread as she let out lowly. “Ponyville…”
Ponyville? Affecting ponies only? H-how could it not be Chrysalis? That’s where she was and…
Wait, affect ponies? Oh no! Cadance and Flurry Heart! They were in there, and everypony in there were acting weird and silent! “Cadance, Flurry, I’m coming!” You rushed back through the door to the other car, leaving the group behind. But what you saw… What you saw was horrific.
Cadance was holding onto Flurry tightly, huddled up against her seat as she weakly blasted ponies away with her magic. “Get a-away from us, g-get away from my b-baby!”
“Cadance! CADANCE!” You screamed in rage as your horn glowed brightly. With a mighty blast, you sent all the ponies attacking her flying from one end of the car to the other. You rushed over to Cadance, who had suddenly fallen to the ground, Flurry hovering to her, trying to shake her to get her to move. “Cadance! Cadance! We have to go!”
“I-I can’t… I can’t…” She said in a weak voice, barely moving.
“Why?! No, forget it, let me-” But before you could use your magic to get her over your side to carry her, she shoved you back with her magic. “C-Cadance?!”
“Shining… T-take Flurry, t-take her and r-run! I-I feel… D-different. I f-feel like… I have to… do what she says…” Cadance said, twitching on the ground.
“Cadance, I’m not just going to leave you!” You cried out to her, trying to approach her, before she pushed you back again.
“GO! TAKE FLURRY BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!” Cadance looked at you, and your eyes widened in horror. Her eyes, they were glowing as blue as the other passengers.
No… No! NO! NO! You tried reaching for her again, but she wasn’t responding anymore this time. Her eyes, she looked so distant as she began to stand back up. The other ponies you launched, they were beginning to descend upon you. No, no, no, no, this wasn’t happening!
“Flurry, we have to go. Cadance… I’m sorry!” Using your magic, you managed to pull Flurry away as the hypnotized Cadance dove for her, crashing onto the ground next to you. Flurry began to cry, reaching for her. You had to go, darnit, DARNIT! WHAT WAS GOING ON!? Holding Flurry tight with your magic, you look back at Cadance for any sign of her still being there. But as she stood, there was nothing but mindless cruelty in her eyes. You rushed back out towards the group, and jammed the door like you did the other.
“Hey, what happened in there?! What was with all the yelling?!” Smolder asked, demanding to know.
“Forget about it…” You said, looking at the door with an emotionless look as Flurry cried, holding onto the back of your head. “The train has been completely compromised. We need to get out, now.” You look back at them, noticing most of them are flyers. You gently pluck Flurry Heart, and nuzzle onto her as she whines, nuzzling back, distressed about Cadance. “Um, look, I don’t know your names or who you really are, but can you get us off this train? If not us, then my daughter?” You almost hoped they couldn’t, you wanted to stay and try to help Cadance. And yet, you couldn't do that either, you couldn't leave Flurry behind.
“Pfft, we’re not leaving anycreature behind. Ocellus, you turn into something big and get Yona off the train. Silverstream, you take the kid. I got you, Mister Prince!” Smolder said as she flexed her arm.
Everycreature nodded, and went to work. Ocellus quickly turned into a giant bugbear and grabbed onto Yona, flying off the train. You quickly gave Flurry to Silverstream, who gently held her as she flew off. But as Smolder grabbed onto you, she was barely lifting you in the air. “W-wait, you can’t carry me?!”
“I-I’m trying! I didn’t expect you tWOAH!” Smolder couldn’t actually fly with you in tow, even with her dragon wings flapping as hard as they could, you both ended up basically falling off the side of the train and falling to the grass, just outside of town.
Ngh, you were dizzy, nothing felt broken, but everything felt so far away, yet very close. You slowly stood up, calling to Cadance. She was still on the train, she could… She couldn’t. You couldn’t save her. She told you to run with Flurry, and you did just that, leaving her like a coward. “CADANCE!” You screamed into the air, your heart shattering from your stupid mistake. “I’m… I’m gonna save you, Cadance. Don’t worry, I’m going to… What?!” Then you finally turned your head, and saw what the true destination of the train was...
What was this? What was that in the distance? Where did this horrific-looking town come from?
“What the… Where Ponyville?! What place is that?!” Yona said, horrified as she pointed forward.
Silverstream covered Flurry’s eyes, as she looked upon the town, disturbed by what she was looking at. “D-did we get on the right train?”
“We did…” Ocellus said as she changed back to her original form.
“Ngh, what’s going on?” Smolder asked as she began to stand up, dizzy from crashing and tumbling on the ground.
“That…” Yona said, pointing towards the town.
“Ponyville, whatever happened to everypony on the train… It’s coming from the town.” Ocellus said.
The town of Ponyville, it looked like some kind of village of nightmares, even from this distance. The buildings were tall and twisted, the trees and grass became deader the closer to the town they went. The colosseum by the station, even if it was far away, looked like some horrible battle stadium. And there was a castle. Some twisted black and red castle, far off at the other end of town.
“RAAAWRRR” Smolder blew another stream of fire at it, but it refused to dissipate or budge. “What’s going on here?! What is this thing?”
“It appears to be some sort of barrier. But, how did everypony on the train manage to pass through it? Unless…” Ocellus felt a sense of dread within herself. “You can only pass when… when…”
A barrier… So, that’s her game. Hypnotize an army, then spread out and attack. Of course! But she didn’t realize you had your own weapon to disarm her, an armor that could beat out this barrier no problem. “Everycreature stand back, I’m going to break this thing down.”
“Ooooo!” Silverstream let out a sound of awe, amazed at your power. “Are you going to blast it like hero colt Anon would?”
Hero colt Anon? Right, the hippogriffs practically worshipped Anon for the defeat of the S-Why are you even thinking about this? You had a sister and wife to save! “No! Something better, I’m going to use changeling tech against Chrysalis! Here I go! And if you feel like you can’t use magic, that’s normal, it just means this barrier is going bye bye too! Nmmm, mnnnnn, RAAAGH!” You began to charge the armor with your magic, to expand its magic nullifying power against the barrier.
“Hey!” Suddenly, Smolder plopped to the ground, puffs of smoke leaving her maw. “What gives?! What’s going on?!”
But you didn’t answer, you focused as much power as you could on the armor. And as you did so, you could see a part of the barrier start to sparkle and sputter in front of you, thinning up, almost like a part of it was becoming inverse and disappearing at the same time. “Yes! Yes!” You walked as close as you could towards the barrier. It began to strike with bolts of magic back at you in defense, but it all either dissipated or curved away. “It’s working! It’s- huh?! What?!” But even with you getting as close as you could, the barrier wasn’t clearing enough for you to pass through. You could feel it fighting back with force, stopping your encroachment. “What’s going on?! Why isn’t the barrier making a hole for us?!”
“Hold on, Yona make hole!” Yona, noticing that the barrier was thinning where you were standing, began to charge head first towards her target. Unfortunately, the moment she made contact, she was sent hurtling backwards. “Gyah!”
“No way! That’s impossible!” You growled. “Why isn’t this working?!”
Ocellus slowly approached you, she seemed to notice what you were doing, or at least what you were trying to do. “U-um, Mister Shining Armor, sir? Is that armor, perchance, um, made from the throne of Chrysalis?”
“Yeah, why?” What was she getting at?
“Oh… Erm…” Ocellus seemed rather nervous about something. What was it? You needed everycreature to focus right now on coming up with an idea to get past this thing. “It’s just… You’re not going to get through that with, well, whatever you did to it.”
“What?! What do you mean by that?! I made it better and controllable! Well, our researchers at the Crystal Empire did, but it is better! Just watch, I’ll destroy this barrier with my own magic!” You aimed your horn through the thinning part of the barrier and fired a powerful blast… That exploded into nothing the moment it passed the threshold of where it wasn’t affected by the armor. “... O-or not. What, what just happened?!”
“That’s what I was trying to explain. Erm, you made it a lot weaker. O-or, your researchers did anyway. The barrier is being supplied with a constant supply of some weird magic, it isn’t going to go away with that armor. I-if it was at full power, it’d get rid of it for sure.” Ocellus explained to you.
What?!
“B-but, it just ate my own blast! And Smolder over there looks like she’s not able to fly or throw fire either. So how come we can’t do anything but the barrier gets to stick around? We have to destroy it! Twily and Cadance are in there!” You exclaimed at her.
“I-I know, but the source of the barrier’s magic seems to be coming from that castle over there. It is making more magic than the armor can destroy. It’s stopping everycreature else’s magic because we're so close to its influence.” Ocellus once again explained.
You felt it, you began to feel anger well up inside you. The armor was useless, and you couldn’t break in to save your family. “GRAAWWR! Then what was the point?!” You stared angrily at the castle in the distance as you waved your hoof. “Chrysalis, you won’t get away with this!”
“Chrysalis? You mean Hero Colt Anon’s friend? What does she have to do with this? I thought she didn’t live in Ponyville.” Silverstream said as she let Flurry play with her talons adorably.
“I mean, think about it! Hypnotized ponies? Making an army of them after her own children saw the light of friendship? A barrier? It screams ‘Chrysalis’!” How could they not see it? You could see Ocellus tensing up, surely she realized her former queen was behind this. “You know, don’t you, Ocellus?”
“T-that’s the thing…” Ocellus gulped as she became even more nervous. “T-this isn’t her, i-it has nothing to do with her.”
“And what makes you say that?” You asked, now suspicious of her.
She then pointed at the castle, pointing at the far off banners. “T-those banners, they aren’t her’s. T-that’s Tirek’s insignia.”
“Who?” Smolder asked, utterly confused. “What’s a Tirek?”
…Tirek?! But how?! Unless… “Not a what, a who. He’s an evil centaur who can absorb magic from others to power himself up. He’s supposed to be locked up in Tartarus, but somehow, he returned. So that means… Chrysalis must have freed him and teamed up with him to conquer Equestria!”
“Look, I don’t get your whole thing with the bug queen. But as Ocellus said, I don’t think this has anything to do with her. Last I heard, she was actually warming up to Professor Fluttershy. Why would she try to take over Equestria?” Smolder asked, obviously confused to Chrysalis’s true nature.
“Because she’s evil! What other reason can there be!? How could you tell me this has nothing to do with her?!” Like, how?!
“Erm, I-I don’t normally like to defend her. But she doesn’t team up with anycreature, for any reason. Unless you’re working under her, she considers any would be partners, erm, a traitorous, and erm, 'petulant' kind of creature. And, um, Tirek isn’t known to work well with anycreature either. Also, those hypnotised ponies… It wasn’t changeling magic.” Ocellus explained.
…Okay, m-maybe she has a point on that one. Tirek betrayed Discord the moment he had the chance. And if Chrysalis knew he was traitorous, then maybe she wouldn’t team up with him? But then, what gives with the hypnosis? ”What do you mean ‘not changeling magic’.”
“I mean, it felt… Different. Like some sort of new magic, or a mixture of magics. Plus, I could feel their emotions, it isn’t like Chrysalis where she clouds your mind or bends your will. They all genuinely felt an uncontrollable sense of friendship to… Somecreature… Or somepony. I don’t know what it is, but it almost felt like they were loyal to a pony. It almost feels like something is controlling their love and friendship itself. ” Ocellus explained before shivering. “It was such a horrible feeling.”
“So, no Chrysalis?” So, it was… Tirek? He was behind all of this? How?! This didn’t seem like his M.O. What was going on?! NO! NO! “NO! TIREK! GIVE THEM BACK! YOU HEAR ME?!” You could feel your rage building once again. Your horn began to fill up with magic as you stared at the barrier once again. “TIIIIREEEKK!” You fired the strongest magic you could muster. But, due to the armor, it was heavily weakened as it hit the barrier, doing nothing to it other than enraging you further. “GRRRRRRRRRRRRAWWWWWWRRR”
“Okay, Yona can see new plan needed.” Yona then turned her attention to Ocellus, as she seemed to be the closest to understanding the situation. “What we do, Ocellus?”
Ocellus just turned and silently looked at your armor for a moment, thinking deeply. Then, suddenly she stiffened up. “I-I h-have an idea. B-but, I-I don’t like it.”
“Well, whatever it is, it’s gotta be better than this.” Smolder said as she put a claw to her hip, pointing over at your hopeless cause. “So, what is it?”
“...W-well…” Ocellus began to whimper, and locked up. Turning into a rock.
Wait… What?!
How did she?!
Your rage suddenly turns into confusion as you look over at the rock-changed Ocellus. “How did you do that?”
“T-transform?” Ocellus sounded confused. “W-we changelings could always do this, r-remember?”
“I know that!” You shouted angrily. “I mean how did you transform while the armor is activated?!”
“E-erm, umm…” She didn’t answer. However, your answers seemed to anger Smolder and Yona, who began to approach you. Silverstream hung back, holding back Flurry to protect her from anything that might happen.
“Hey, buddy, lay off her, alright?!” Smolder said, angrily poking at your armored chest. “We’re all worried about what’s going on in there too! We care about Headmare Twilight, and the ponies. We also don’t even know what happened to the professors, Anon, Cozy Glow, Sandbar, or Gallus! We don’t even know what happened to Counselor Starlight! So if you’re gonna be angry at somecreature, be angry at this Tirek guy!”
“Yeah! Ocellus not do anything wrong to you! So leave her alone!” Yona shouted at you, standing in front of her to protect her.
…
…
Your ears folded as your anger began to subside. That anger, Cadance was warning you about it all this time. The same anger that made you break Anon’s leg.
Cadance…
Twily…
You hung your head down in shame. Maybe if you had listened, and had been more vigilant, you could have saved them. Now? All you were doing was being a shameful moron that none of your family liked being around. “I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m scared for them. I don’t even know what’s going on. He has my wife, and my sister. I just…”
Suddenly, you felt a set of talons gently hold the side of your neck. It was Silverstream, giving you gentle, soft eyes. “Hey, we get that. We’re all really really scared, okay? But you gotta be strong! Strong for everycreature, strong for us, and strong for your really cute daughter! We’ll figure it out! Ocellus, you already got a plan, right?”
She slowly began to change back, her ears hung low as she looked at you with eyes that looked rather apologetic. “I-I… But… I…”
Smolder then walked up to her, doing the same for her that Silverstream did for you. “Hey, Ocellus, whatever your plan is, we’re all in this together. We ain’t leaving your side, no matter what. So if you got a dangerous plan, then hey, it’s better than nothing! We’ll do whatever you want us to do!”
“W-well, that’s the thing, I-I don’t want us to do it at all. Erm…” Finally, Ocellus sighed and drummed up the courage to state her plan. “Look, it looks like the way through the barrier is that armor. I-if we’re even going to have a chance of saving everycreature, then we’re going to have to see… Her.”
“Her?” Yona asked, confused.
…No, she didn’t mean… She couldn’t. “Are you seriously suggesting we go see that witch?!”
Ocellus recoiled from your outburst, then gathered herself again. She wasn’t thinking of how frightening she was, she knew there were more important things than giving in to her fears. In fact, it was almost like, maybe, somepony had shown her that being afraid of her wasn’t even worth it. “We have no choice. That armor is the only way we can break through this barrier. And the only one who can properly restore it is… Chrysalis. I know where she lives, we have to go see her, even if we don’t like her.”
You said nothing at first, your mind heavy in thought. It once again prompted Smolder to approach you. “Look! I know you don’t like it, but you gotta come with us! If she can get us through that barrier, then we got a chance of saving everycreature in it! Including your wife and Headmare Twilight! This isn’t about us anymore, okay!? We’re the only ones not being affected by this thing. And if it isn’t affecting us, then it isn’t affecting her either. I know it’s weird for you to hear that from a dragon, but we gotta do the right thing! Got it?!”
…So that’s it then?
Yeah, that was. Even though you hated it, you hated what Tirek was doing even more. And if you let your anger control you, then it’d just be failing everypony that is depending on you. Even Cadance was willing to give her a chance. Twily already has, even after the attempt on her life.
It looks like you’ll have to too.
You sighed as you began to calm down. “...Alright. If it means saving everypony, then I’m in. But if she does have something to do with this, I’m bringing her down!”
“Okay…” Ocellus then looked over towards the direction of the Everfree Forest. “T-then follow me. Oh, and Mister Shining Armor?”
Hm? “Yeah?”
“P-please don’t unpower the armor until we at least reach the forest. Whatever influenced those ponies, it can influence you too now. It's not safe to unpower the armor until we reach the forest, away from whatever is changing everypony.” She said to you. Could she feel the power of this 'influence'? She said it ran on friendship and love. So maybe that was it.
“Huh? You mean the armor was protecting me the whole time?” You asked.
“No… Just when you powered it. I-I think your hatred towards Chrysalis is what was protecting you before. Whatever this is, it redirects the positive feelings of ponies towards somepony else. You were so full of hatred, it didn’t affect you.” She told you plainly as she began to hover forward.
“Oh…” Well, erm, a-at least your anger was good for something.
You all entered deep into the forest. As soon as you entered deep enough, Ocellus asked you to depower the armor with your magic. You complied. If a group attacked you in any way, even without magic on all sides, you could still be overwhelmed. If you had to stay and fight while any of the fliers took Flurry for her protection, then so be it. Better than everycreature being unable to fly away and lose instantly. However, that made you wonder, why were they even here? “So, um, why are you guys here anyway? I thought you’d be home for the holidays?”
“A dream.” Silverstream said with zero hesitance.
“A dream? What does that mean?” What did she mean by that?
“Oh… Yeah, the dreams. Look, we’re not crazy or anything, but we all were having some crazy dreams. Which then turned out to all be the same dreams.” Smolder said.
“What do you mean?” What were they talking about?
“I mean, well, we all saw Headmare Twilight, but she was all sparkly. She told us some weird stuff, like we’d be going on an adventure, and that she apologized that she couldn’t prepare us for it in time. It was all so crazy. She basically said we all had to come back to Ponyville.” Smolder said, as she rubbed the back of her head in slight embarrassment. “I almost didn’t pay attention to it at first, but everytime I closed my eyes, I saw the same dream. Turns out, we all were having the same dream because Ocellus and Silverstream came to me the moment they had it. I guess me and Yona were too stubborn to really take it to heart at first. But yeah, we just flew over to get Yona, and took a train back to Ponyville. Turned out it was the same train you were taking.”
What? “So you all had the same dream? Really?”
Silverstream nodded “Yup! I knew it meant something the moment I had it! I flew over as soon as I could to see Smolder, then go see Ocellus. But, hehe, Ocellus sort of had the same idea. I just…” Suddenly, Silverstream began to feel downtrodden. “I just hope everycreature is okay in there. I wonder if Gallus, Sandbar, and Anon had the same dream. I don’t even know why I’d have that dream, I don’t know what I could do to help. Well, I guess I am helping, your daughter has been pretty calm since you gave her to me. What’s her name?” Silverstream asked as she hovered ahead, holding Flurry gently as she sleeps in her arms.
“Flurry Heart.” You answer, letting out a sigh as you try to get unsettling thoughts out of your head. “Thank you for taking care of her so far. If I knew this was going to happen, I’d have come alone. I just… I just wish I knew what happened. Did any of your dreams have any kind of information? It seems odd you’d all have the same dream, but like, totally not know what’s going on.”
Yona spoke, but there was some anger in her voice. “No, and that make Yona angry. If Yona knew this happened, Yona would ask Prince Rutherford to bring yak army. Yak army break barrier like nothing!”
“Yeah, I would have done the same and asked Princess Ember for some help too. I mean, not all the dragons are okay with ponies, but this? This is beyond messed up, none of us would let this go on.” Smolder said.
You let your horn light up as the path became darker, the night of Hearthwarming eve coming upon everycreature. So, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are still okay if the sun and moon cycle hasn’t been disrupted. That’s good.
But there was still one more thing. “So, we’re really doing this then. Look, don’t get mad at me for asking this, but are we sure we can trust Chrysalis?”
“I’d… I’d like to…” Ocellus had trouble answering for a moment. She had to stop, and catch herself once again. It looked like she had her own prejudices after all, and she was doing her best to look past them. “I… I want to think that’s where Anon is too. It’d make sense he’d be there, since they're best friends. M-maybe they’re making plans to break the barrier?”
Smolder snapped her claws, realizing how sensible that was. “Yeah, that’s where he is! I just hope he isn’t trying to come up with any puns for when he charges in there. I don’t think I could ever forget what happened the first time we met.”
“Yeah! Duh, of course the hero colt is making plans to attack that castle. And I bet everycreature is there with him. Headmare Twilight, the professors, Gallus, Sandbar! Everything is going to be okay!” Silverstream said with optimistic enthusiasm.
Until, that is, there was a very loud growl coming from somewhere further in the forest.
“Oh, Flurry Heart, are you hungry?” Silverstream asked as she poked her belly, making her giggle. “That was the loudest belly growl I ever heard.”
You jumped in front of the young group, standing guard as their shield. “Everycreature, back off. I think we’ve been spotted by some creature in the forest. If you have to, take Flurry and leave me behind. Once you're far enough, I can activate my armor and take it on bare hooved!”
Suddenly, there was a loud gruff laugh as a deep voice penetrated the air. “Is that so, Shining Armor? You have not turned, but you are not welcome to step any further. Encroach on her lands, and you will be eliminated.”
You began to shout out ahead of you. “Where are you, coward?! What are you even talking about?! I don’t know you, and unless you attack, I mean you no harm! I’m just trying to get everycreature here to safety!”
Suddenly, there was loud boisterous laughter. “Do you expect me to believe that!? This is not the time. Heed my warning, or be torn to shreds!”
“Look, whatever this is, it means business a-what are you doing?!” Suddenly, Yona stepped in front of you, ready for a fight.
“Yona not know who you are either, but Yona say Prince Shining Armor telling truth! Yona ask for passage, or Yona will fight!” Yona said, standing her ground.
“Yona?" The voice became softer, and even cuter, as the bushes ahead began to rustle. Suddenly a dog popped out from the bushes, looking rather confused. “Oh, it’s Anon’s friends who are really bad at snowball fights! I didn’t know you were here. You all can pass…” Wait, that dog. That’s Scrappy. You remember him, he’s Chrysalis’s faithful servant and strangely enough, part of the Apple family. He suddenly gave you a poisonous gaze as he continued. “...Except for you. I know why you’re OW!” Suddenly, a pinkish-purple hoof gave the small dog changeling a bop on the head.
“Scrappy! Remember what we talked about in case we found anypony out here?” Starlight asked him. Wait, Starlight? Why was she out here? She was wearing a black cloak for some reason, her horn alit for light.
“B-but, he reall-” But he is interrupted again
“I don’t care what’s going on. We’re in a crisis, okay!?” Starlight said with a tired huff before looking at you all with worry, and yet, with some relief and surprise. “What.. What are you all doing out here anyway?! You’re all supposed to be home, and Prince Shining Armor… Wait, you were supposed to be here actually. And…” That’s when she noticed. “Oh no… Where’s Princess Cadance?”
You hung your head low. You felt shameful. She wasn’t with you, and you failed to protect her. “She’s, I… I don’t even know. Starlight, why are you out here? What’s going on?! I-is Twily around? Is she with you?”
Starlight’s eyes suddenly saddened, you even saw a few tears come from her eyes as she began to tense up. “Oh no… You don’t… You don’t know what’s going on?”
“What is going on?! Counselor Starlight, why are you even out here? What happened to Ponyville?!” Smolder asked in a demanding fashion.
Starlight stayed silent for a moment, furrowed her brow, and looked over at Scrappy. “Scrappy, go to Big Mac and Trixie and continue the search with them. Keep them safe, okay?”
“B-but, you said you’d help find Master Applebloom and the others! Please, you’re really really helpful!” Scrappy said, tears flowing from his eyes as he whined doggie-like noises.
“And I will. I promise. Let me just get them to the manor safely, okay? I promise I’ll be back out in no time.” Starlight assured him. “We’ll find them.”
“Mnnnn…” Scrappy said with another whine. “O-okay.” And without another word, he saluted towards her, and rushed back the other direction, deeper into the forest.
“Alright…” Starlight said, facing away from all of you, her tone melancholic. “Follow me. There’s… There’s a lot going on, and a lot to say.”
You all were just casually following her to this manor hidden in the forest. The manor owned by Chrysalis. It made you feel so uneasy. If Chrysalis really had no part in all this, then what’s really going on? “So, are you going to tell us what happened?”
Starlight winced at those words. “I’m trying to think of ways to tell it. Look, I’m gonna try to unpack this for all of you in a way that doesn’t sound like all hope is lost. How much do you all know?”
“We know there’s something turning ponies into zombies, and some guy named Tirek running the show. But, like, that’s the thing. What happened to Headmare Twilight? The professors? Or Anon and his dad? Are you telling us none of them could stop him?” Smolder asked, in disbelief that things seemed to have fallen apart so fast.
Starlight hesitated for a moment. “Yeah, that’s exactly it. Look, I… Okay, so…” She seemed to be having trouble getting her words out. “So, Tirek isn’t actually working alone. And, uh, from what I was told. The pony he’s working with might be the true mastermind.”
“Winter Krumb! I knew it!” Smolder shouted, bringing her fist down onto her claws. “I knew that’s why Anon’s alarm things only worked halfway. We all got the dreams, but we didn’t get the teleportation because of that stupid barrier!”
“Yona knew too. But, erm, Yona don’t think that’s why alarm clock thing not work. Yona just think Anon botch spell. Dream not seem like Anon’s style.” Yona noted.
“Winter Krumb? Who even is that?” You asked. “I never heard of him.”
“Erm, that’s because Winter Krumb is actually Tirek.” Starlight said nervously.
“Winter Krumb is Tirek? That doesn’t make any sense. If he’s Tirek, then who is the real mastermind?” Ocellus asked.
…Chrysalis?
Starlight hesitated once again. She then hung her head as her ears folded downwards. “Cozy Glow…”
Who? But the others seemed to know her as they all reacted in shock.
“Cozy Glow? ‘Cute as a button’ Cozy Glow? That’s impossible, she’s so nice!” Silverstream said in shock.
“Yeah, that can’t be right. I figured Winter Krumb had to be a bad guy, but are you telling me Cozy Glow was the real villain here? That doesn’t make any sense. She’s our friend, she’d never do anything like that. Hey, Ocellus, did you notice anything off about her. Like, ever?” Smolder asked.
Ocellus began to feel really nervous about the whole situation. “N-no. I always sensed that her feelings were always genuine. B-but, i-if she’s…” Ocellus stopped, and gulped hard as she realized something horrible. “Anon… Wasn’t Anon supposed to be with her yesterday?”
“Oh no! Ocellus right! Anon! Is Anon okay?!” Yona asked, fearing the worst.
You noticed Starlight stop, she tensed up really hard there, but didn’t look back at any of you as she led on. But her voice, it became so sad. “We don’t know where he is.”
“What about my sister? What happened to Twilight? Her friends? What happened to them?” You had to know. You needed to know that they were okay, that maybe there was a chance.
Starlight hung her head lower. “She was captured. Discord before her. And the rest of the elements afterwards. It was all a trap that was meticulously set to control all of Equestria tomorrow…” And so Starlight began to explain the situation. First, from everything she had gathered from Discord. But then, to your surprise, she began to explain everything else from the perspective of another…
She explained how Chrysalis herself had tried to stop them with the rest of the elements. While some of the story seemed off, like them teaming up with her in the first place, it seems it wasn’t enough to stop them. It seems the only glimmer of hope was the fact that Chrysalis made it out with Discord, and damaged this staff she was talking about, which seemed to be the key to everything. However… “So you’re telling me they have my sister, and are using her as a battery, and she couldn’t rescue her?! She led them all into that! How could she not plan ahead when it was so important?!”
“Hey!” Starlight suddenly snapped back. “I may have not been there, but I promise you she gave it her all! She managed to damage the staff! That gives us time. We’ve been trying to figure out a plan of attack, but when that barrier was forged, it put everything to a halt. If we could destroy it, we’d have a chance. They haven’t made a move since she got back, their area of influence hasn’t even increased. We’re all doing our best, Shining! I understand you’re upset, but you’re not the only one who lost somepony today, got it?”
You winced at those words. Y-you knew that. But, how could you remain calm knowing your sister is in some tube? How could a foal even do all this? A foal? It didn’t make any sense. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either…” Smolder said as she looked down, shoulders slumped. “Cozy was our friend, and she used all of us.”
“And Anon is gone… I-is he with Applebloom? You said you were looking for her.” Silverstream asked, her heart crushed that any of her friends could be gone or being controlled.
“We split into two groups. But it’s actually Applebloom missing with her friends, and Gallus and Sandbar as well. They just separated from the group when we were moving from the old castle to the manor and-EEP!” Suddenly Yona interrupted her.
“Gallus and Sandbar?! They okay!? Why not say so sooner?! We worried about them too!” Yona shouted!
“And erm, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. We were worried about them too, of course.” Ocellus added.
“You gotta let us come with you to find them! We can’t lose them too!” Smolder said, smashing her fists together, ready for action.
“No! No, I can’t allow that. We already lost too many.” Starlight said, as she pushed a few branches aside, revealing the manor on the other side, in the usual clearing. “We’re here. I want you all to get settled in, alright? There’s no need to be reckless and risk you guys as well when things are this dangerous.”
“How can you say that?!” Smolder said in shock and frustration. “They’re our friends! We can’t just sit around and do nothing!”
“We’re not doing nothing! We’re going to try and find them! We only just started so they couldn’t have gotten far and I have some locator spells I could use to try and find them. If not, I know Big Mac will either be able to figure out where Applebloom would have gone, and if that doesn’t work, there’s Scrappy.” Starlight said, approaching the door to let them inside.
“What about your friend, Trixie?” Ocellus asked.
Starlight went silent for a few moments before letting out a sigh. “...Shining Armor, can you come with me? I feel like you’d be a really big help in finding them.”
“Erm, I don’t want to sound all jerky, but most of us can fly. Wouldn’t it help if we flew around to find them?” Silverstream asked as she gently rocked the sleeping Flurry Heart.
“The forest is thick, and it isn’t exactly bright enough out there to spot anything from the skies.” Starlight then seemed to become more desperate in getting them inside. “Please, just leave it to us. We’ll find them. It’s too risky to take all of you, it’ll be easier to move in smaller groups, especially with how dangerous the forest can already be.”
…
…
“She’s right. And besides, I have this” You point to your armor. “I can use it in case anything does happen, I can still use my magic against anything close to me. And besides, I do need all your help.” You looked at your sleeping daughter in the hippogriff’s arms, and slowly approached her. “I need you all to stay here, and keep everycreature safe. To keep her safe.” You were really saying this, to keep Flurry here, in Chrysalis’s home. Either you’re crazy, or you’re so filled with grief that you’re afraid you’d lose it like… Like you lost it on Anon that one time. It'd be better to leave Flurry with them until you could find your center. You didn't want to shout at them for any mistake they might make.
Silverstream frowned as she looked down at Flurry, cradling her once again. “I don’t want her to be alone when she seems to be so calm with me. But, I dunno, the fact Hero Colt Anon is missing… Is kinda scary to me.”
“Counselor Starlight, are you sure you don’t know where Anon is? He seems to be the only one unaccounted for in your story. Wouldn’t his father know?” Ocellus asked, curious as to Anon’s location. It’s almost like she didn’t believe it, as if something was off.
“He doesn’t…” Starlight said with hesitancy in her voice. “But we’ll find him. And if he’s been changed, then I promise, we’ll get him out of there. Now, please?” She asked, trying to urge them into the manor.
Smolder groaned, complying despite her irritation. “Fine! We’ll stay and hold the fort! But you better find them, got it? Nocreature gets left behind, right?”
Starlight nodded, stuttering slightly in her words. “R-right.”
“Good.” Smolder sighed “Cozy Glow… Really, that’s hard to believe too. If only I had stuck to my instincts, maybe I could have stopped her.”
“Smolder, Yona know it hurt. Yona very angry she use all of us, Yona not even know why she did. But if Cozy Glow want to be evil, then she never our friend. Counselor Starlight never lead us wrong before, she smart pony. We trust for now, and wait for friends to come back. Then we plan and crush Cozy Glow and Tirek.” Yona said, offering helpful words to help calm her friend down.
“I just… I can’t believe I never sensed it. I… Don’t even think Chrysalis herself would have been able to sense it. The only other pony I know who could fake their emotions was Anon, and even he isn’t that good.” Ocellus said, feeling like a failure that she couldn’t figure it out before all of this happened.
“H-hey, it’ll be okay. Who knows? Maybe Gallus, Sandbar, and the crusaders went missing because they found Anon asleep or knocked out somewhere. Yeah! Of course!” Silverstream said with enthusiasm. Though, this time, it seemed a tad strained. “A-anon can’t be the hero all the time. Even he needs us to watch his back and get him back in the fight!”
“I hope so.” Smolder sighed. You have only known her for a little while, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen a dragon so down before. She finally went inside, followed by the others.
Starlight waited for the door to close, she then looked at you, tears in her eyes despite looking so determined. “Follow me, there’s a little more to the story. I just didn’t want them to hear it.”
More to the story? “What do you mean there’s more? It already sounds crazy that Tirek would team up with a foal, or that the foal herself planned everything. What more can there be?! Unless you’re going to tell me they already got Princess Celestia and Luna.”
“Hmnnn…” Suddenly, Starlight became more quiet, somber even. “No, we had Spike send letters to them to stay away, and to evacuate Canterlot. For now, they’ll be fine. No, this is mainly about something else. Considering it’d also be the reason that if she saw you, you may not be standing a few seconds after.”
You tensed up at those words. Chrysalis, seems she was as angry at you as you were of her. But why? Other than the fact she doesn’t want you around, why would she be that angry? “What do you mean by that? What else happened, Starlight?”
“W-well, you probably wanted to know a reason why she’d give it her all to save everypony, right?” She started to slowly sniffle, as tears dropped from her eyes. “Well, there’s one reason.”
…W-why was she crying like that? “And that is?”
“Anon is gone…” Starlight said, nearly choking up from those words.
Gone? “W-what do you mean? Unless…” She mentioned he was with them when it all started. No, they didn’t…
Starlight nodded, looking at you with heavy sorrowful eyes. “They got rid of him, Shining. They obliterated him. I couldn’t believe it myself, to go that far…” Starlight began to break up even more. “Chrysalis hasn’t been the same since she came back. She locked herself in her room. She only seems, well, sane around Diamond Tiara. Or she’s pretending to be, for her sake.”
“She doesn’t know?” Anon’s marefriend, oh no…
Starlight shook her head. “No, neither does anypony else. Just me, Discord, and Chrysalis. I’ve heard her in there, she just murmurs to herself plans to… Well, let’s just say they’d wish it’d be an instant disintegration for themselves. I know you don’t like her, Shining. But she lost her family, and now she’s lost her best friend. Practically her brother at this point.”
…
You… You actually felt sorry for her. You didn’t realize that they were that close. You didn’t know that she’d lose her mind like that if something happened to him. But you should have, you should have known she cared about him that deeply back when she tried to end Twily. She stopped, because he nearly lost his life. And now…
You began to shed tears for her. “I’m sorry. I really am. Isn’t there something I can do for her?”
"Huh?" Starlight almost seemed in disbelief at those words, given they came from you. “Unless you have something that can bring her closer to getting her revenge, no. But I also don’t think it’d be fair to leave you out in the cold, given what’s going on. I could try talking to her to let you in.”
“Actually…” You bring your hoof to your armor. This could be it, this could be the key! “I think I got something she might want to see.”
“Huh, what?” Starlight then notices where you’re touching. “That old-looking armor?”
“Yup. It’s made from Chrysalis’s old throne, and has anti-magic properties. Um, Sunburst and some of the researcher ponies we have kind of made it too weak to break the barrier. But given, y’know, this is changeling material, I was thinking maybe she could fix it up. Make it strong enough to stop the barrier, and their magic.” You said, giving Starlight an unsure smirk. “Could be worth a shot.”
Starlight just stared, her tear-filled eyes filling with hope. “Shining, tell me you’re not messing with me.”
“I’m not. I gotta say, even though it isn’t the pony way, I’m feeling like getting some vengeance myself. I want to get everypony to safety. I want to save my wife and sister. And, well, I want to avenge Anon. And I’ll team up with Chrysalis, no problem, if we can all make it happen.” You said, feeling your own confidence returning.
“Y-yeah. Yeah! T-that might just work. Um, y-you might need to have Diamond present you to her to maybe soften her up a bit, but with that armor, that might hopefully snap her out of it. We might actually have a way inside!” Starlight said, her excitement broken up by her crushing sadness, even as she began to see hope on the horizon.
“Good to hear.” You said as you smashed your hoof down in confidence. But then, you realized something. “Wait, you didn’t really mention Discord. How is he taking it?”
“Um, much better than Chrysalis. He’s been using the magic he does have to keep himself busy as the chef and, er, two magicless waiters. When you mention Anon to him, he doesn’t want to talk about it. But if you mention Fluttershy, he sort of shatters. I mean, literally shatters.” Starlight explained, she almost seemed disgusted that he didn’t seem that hurt over Anon’s passing. "I'm surprised he has enough magic to do one of his gags"
“Alright…” You said with a determined nod. “First things first, we gotta find those missing foals and their friends.”
Starlight nodded. “Right. Let’s catch up with Trixie’s group, we might be able to use a powerful tracking spell if we work together. We’ll find them, then head back to the manor to start planning our next move.”
And so you hurried alongside Trixie, to find Applebloom and her group.
It had been a long, and rather perilous, journey. You had thought with the pace you were making that you’d reach Ponyville earlier than expected. But you should never expect anything when the unexpected can attack at any time, like that of a tatzlwurm. It was no challenge, of course, but it did eat up a lot of time. It was a bit of extra training you weren’t expecting.
It was dark out, and the snow was dense. No trouble for you, or even Grubber, but poor Capper was having a few issues trudging through the snow, despite how warmly he’s dressed for it. He was ahead of you, looking back at times. You could see both the annoyance of the snow in his eyes, as well as his guilt. He had taken it upon himself to watch a few ‘Christmas’ movies before going to bed, and now had it in his head he could be a Santa Claus to the foals by bringing them gifts. Gifts you decided you’d haul yourself, as well as Grubber’s entire arsenal of weapons. It was good training, and you didn’t want to leave them back at the docks. Who knows what would happen.
It was sweet of him, really. Hearthwarming usually dealt with getting the one closest to you a gift. But after his viewings, he felt he could be someone that could give gifts to many, like this Santa Claus. He spent extra time shopping in Klugetown to fill a bag with whatever seemed like something a foal would play with, not allowing expenses to get in the way.
“Tempest, you sure you don’t need any help? You’ve been lugging that stuff since we left. And, y’know… You ain’t tired at all after that fight back in the badlands?” Capper asked you, holding his coat tight over himself.
“Just save your energy and focus on staying warm, we should be arriving in Ponyville shortly.” You told him.
“Heh, yeah. But you ain’t cold at all? I could at least give you one of my scarves, I’m wearing five of them.” Capper offered you.
You gave him a gentle smirk. “We ponies are pretty used to the cold, at least a normal winter’s cold. It’s a tradition to even get it wrapped up every year. That means working hard, in the snow, until it’s all gone.”
Capper went silent for a moment, then went on trudging. “...Now that’s what I call taking ‘cool’ to a whole new level.”
You held back your chuckle, and continued forward, pulling the cart along. You looked up a bit, then to your sides. You had to admit, it was very late at this point, you could barely see anything ahead, even with the moonlight. “Grubber, report.”
“You got it, Tempest!” Grubber, who had been resting on his crate of weapons, hopped into action as he put on a pair of night-vision specs to see ahead. “Hey, I think I see some buildings ahead.”
“Well, thank the stars, finally. Almost thought we were never gonna make it. Though, you think anyone is gonna be awake to, ya know, maybe let us waltz into a bed?” Capper asked.
“If Twilight’s castle isn’t an option, I’m sure they have some sort of motel or bed and breakfast we can stay the night in. This is the time of year where you can expect help at any time.” You explained.
“I hope so. Feel bad we’re basically begging for a place. But cats alive, it’s cold.” Capper said with a shiver.
You would guess he was simply too used to living south of the badlands to ever get used to this kind of cold.
“Yo, Tempest. Are we sure this is the right place?” Grubber asked.
Hm? “What do you mean, Grubber?”
“Well, when you said Ponyville was gonna be a peaceful place. I was expecting it looking, ya know, nice and peaceful and really wimpy. But it isn’t looking like that at all.” Grubber said.
Was it not? Or perhaps, you got lost? But that didn’t make any sense. “Grubber, the specs.”
Grubber rolled down the box and huge bag of toys, landing on your back and gently putting the specs over your eyes. “Here ya go, Tempest.” He then pointed forward, towards the town. “See? Check out that castle in the distance, it almost looks like the Storm King’s joint, but even eviller.”
He… was right. The town looked twisted and dark, there were no signs of any of the usual shops or homes. And that castle, those banners, that didn’t belong to Twilight at all. You almost thought you made a wrong turn, until you looked towards the right, at the mountains. Canterlot, it was right there.
It didn’t take long for you to surmise something was wrong.
“Yo, Grubber’s right. That place is lookin’ worse than Klugetown. That’s supposed to be Ponyville?” Capper asked, gazing into the darkness that was the town itself with his nocturnal eyes.
So then, Anon was right to be worried. This old scholar…
You recognize the banners from stories your mother would tell you, of old evils sealed by the sisters or that of Starswirl the Bearded.
The old scholar was a being you never met, but you knew, if allowed, could become more dangerous than the Storm King.
His name was Tirek.
This must have been his trap. He’s using either Anon, Discord, or both, to change the town to his liking. That, or the old scholar Anon spoke about isn’t Tirek, but perhaps an accomplice with the power needed to warp the town.
Anon, he should have stuck to his instincts. You could only hope he’s alright, that everyone escaped before this happened.
“The town has been taken over.” You say to Grubber and Capper.
“What?! How did that happen?! Wasn’t it okay when Anon was visiting?” Capper asked.
“Ugh, I’m not even surprised. It was so easy to roll over their capital city, of course the town would get their butts kicked in like, less than a day. So, what’s the plan, Tempest? We going in and taking names?” Grubber said as he immediately took a crowbar and opened his weapon crate from the top, taking out a double-barreled bazooka. “Because I was itching for a reason to bust out this baby!”
But you could see something was amiss ahead. The glow of the specs was showing something else, something that made looking into the town a little misty feeling. A barrier? You light up your broken horn, making it sparkle, as you fire a weak bolt ahead of you. It is immediately blocked by a barrier spanning the entire town. “Seems we can’t, there is a barrier in the way.”
Capper walked over to the crate, holding his paws out. “Hey, Grubber, pass me something good. If Miss Rarity and the others are in trouble, then whoever is in there is gonna learn that this kitty has got claws.”
Grubber smirked as he reached into the crate and tossed Capper a flamethrower. “Here, catch!”
Capper caught it, then gave it a look over, confused. “What’s this?”
“Dragonbreath Blower. Point, click, and watch everything burn! It’ll do you some good, since you were complaining about the cold.” Grubber told him.
“Nice.” Capper said, smirking as he gave the weapon another look over.
“As for that barrier. Stand back, everybody. I got this one!” Grubber pulled out a strange device, bigger than himself, and jumped off the crate onto the snowy ground below. He began to set it up as it seemed to form some sort of cannon.
You simply observed. You had a feeling the barrier was too strong to break, but then there’s a possibility it is strong against magic. If Grubber’s more conventional weaponry could punch a hole in it, then it was worth a chance.
“Let’s see. Step one, aim the cannon. Step two, make sure the super nitro is injected into the cylinder ca-re-ful-ly. There we go. Step four… LET LOOSE! HERE WE GO, BABY! BYE BYE BARRIER!” Grubber pulled a lever, firing the cannon. It let loose with a mighty roar as a flaming blue ball of fire rocketed ahead.
As you watched, you suddenly felt odd, as if there was a voice speaking to you.
As soon as the blue nitroball hit the barrier, there was a mighty explosion. “Haha! I knew that’d work. What’d you think, Tem-Hey!” As the smoke cleared, the barrier shimmered, then remained in place as if nothing had happened. “Oh, come on! That was the best thing I had. It could level a castle in a single shot! Tempest, can you…” But then he noticed you were suddenly holding your head. “Tempest, you okay? Was the blast too loud?”
“Loud doesn’t even begin to describe it, meo-wch.” Capper groaned, rubbing a paw in his ear.
This voice. It almost felt like it was twisting something inside you. As if, the more you had become worried about the situation, worried about the ponies, worried about Anon, the more it made it about itself. It was trying to make you… Obey. “Grubber, Operation Zeta! Now!”
“Operation Zeta? Oh geez! Hold on!” Grubber reached into his pockets for his shock gloves and put them on. “Here we go!” Grubber immediately slammed his fists into your chest, shocking you hard and sending you into the ground.
“What in the… Grubber, man, are you crazy?! What was that for?!” Capper was heavily confused. “I get you didn’t break the barrier, but that’s too much!”
“Shut up, this is serious!” Grubber shouted at him as he rushed to your side. “How ya feelin’, Tempest? Need another? What kind of mind control is it? Do I need to knock ya out?”
The voices had lessened as you felt the pain of the shock course through you. You quickly began to assess why, why it was affecting you just then, why it seemed to get stronger. You then slowly stood back up, looking at Grubber with a serious expression. “Grubber, grab my leg, medium shock.”
“Y-you got it.” Grubber, despite the hesitancy in his voice, did as he was told and began shocking you as he held your leg.
Ngh, it was hard to stand. The pain wasn’t anything you weren’t used to, but to just allow yourself to take it, it was excruciating. But it was working. “Grubber…” With just the mention of his name, he let go. You were shaking from the shock, angry that you could let yourself even begin to succumb to something like that. Angry, angry that something like this could even happen. Yet when you began to worry again…
You fell back once more. Grubber reached out to you, but you told him to hold off. You were beginning to understand. You could hear the voice call to you. As a friend. A friend to someone named… Cozy Glow. So that’s it. That must be the one Tirek is working with. You could almost see her. It almost looked like an innocent filly.
That’s how it worked. It was something you had never even heard of before. Twisting one’s worry and friendship to focus on this one pony. A regular pony would never be able to resist something like this.
You cleared your mind. You filled it with nothing but horrid thoughts of who you used to be. Even if the monks of the north had taught you to find your center. Finding your center here would still cause you to succumb to this magic. You’d have to keep any and all positive emotions about Anon and the others out. “It’s alright, Grubber. I figured out how it works.”
“Geez, you nearly scared me, Tempest. Operation Zeta, we never even put that one to practice. Glad it worked though.” Grubber smashed his fists together, getting angry. “Alright, that’s it. If they think they can take control of you, they got another thing coming. I’m gonna blow whoever that guy in that castle is to smithereens!”
“Can… Can someone please tell me what just happened? First he was zapping you, then you’re all okay? This kitty is all kinds of confused.” Capper just couldn’t comprehend it.
“The town is emitting an influence of a unique mind control magic. Seems to be specific to ponies, probably to catch any passerbys and draw them through the barrier. Ponyville has been taken over, and for now, we must abandon it. If I remember correctly, a powerful friend of Anon’s lives in the forest. We should drop our gear here and go look for her.” You said as you looked over towards the Everfree Forest.
“Wait, wait, wait! Hold on, Rarity and the others are in there! We’re just going to leave them?!” Capper shouted as he looked over at the town, holding his Dragonbreath Blower tightly. “Nah, that ain’t sitting right with ole’ Capper.”
“Tempest is right, and I’m not just saying that because she said it. That barrier took my Nitrocannon head on without a scratch. If Tempest thinks there’s someone in that forest that can help us out, then we’re going in there. Besides, you’d be pointing that thing at Rarity if we just somehow got in there. Whatever tried to take control of Tempest, it probably got control of all the ponies in there and is using them to make an army no one would want to fight. Hate to say it, but we can’t just go in weapons blazing.” Grubber explained as he began to pick out a few weapons from the crate to carry into the forest. "Trust me though, once we figure it out, we're gonna do some real damage to the bad guys."
“Ngh, but that ain’t right.” Capper said as he stiffened up, looking at the town as his ears folded. "Just leaving them like that."
“We have to, Capper. We don’t even know what we’re dealing with. We need intel, and we need help.” You tried to explain to him. “There’s nothing for us here.”
“There’s gotta be something! C’mon, things always turned out right in the end when it came to ponies, right? I’m telling you, there’s something here we missed! And I bet if we just step back and take another look, it’s-GYAH!” Suddenly, Capper falls back as an ominous blue portal opened in front of him. He ducked down as a grey-white pony unicorn with a beard and tussled mane tripped over him. This pony, he was garbed in a torn purple cloak, the neck of the cloak lined with gold, and some sort of sash with a medal on it. Capper looked back up as he saw the portal close, and the pony fall face first in the snow. He suddenly smirked as he pointed both his claws towards the fallen pony. “Eyyy, see what I mean?”
This was strange. Who was this pony? The way he was running, the tear in his clothes. Something, or someone, was after him. Your guess was he came from behind the barrier. But how? A barrier like this should be able to block a unicorn trying to pass through it. You’d have to question him.
Before you could do anything, however, Capper had already approached him to help him out of the snow. “Hey there. You alright? That looked like a pretty bad fall there.” Capper said as he extended his paw.
The pony, at first, reached out to him slowly. But the moment his eyes met Capper’s, he hopped up, at the ready, and already preparing to fight. “Away with you, you mangy creature! I have no idea what part you’re playing in all this, but I have no qualms obliterating you for what you’ve done to those innocent ponies!”
“Wha?!” Capper said, raising his arms up. “What are you talking about?! We just got here!”
“A likely st-we?” The mysterious pony looked around Capper, spotting you and Grubber. Of course, during this entire exchange, you already had your horn trained on him, as did Grubber and his Trapper Blaster. “What is the meaning of this? Did you take control of this pony as well?”
“That’s an interesting question, given you don’t seem to be being controlled by whatever tried to control my mind. Stand down and identify yourself, you’re outnumbered.” You warn him.
The mysterious pony eyed you closely, seems he was gathering some mental notes of his own. “You’re not acting like the others. A pony traitor? That might explain the horn. I’d suggest you identify yourself, and turn yourselves in. I am not so easily defeated.”
A bold claim.
“What’s the call, Tempest? The more this guy talks, the more I feel my claw slipping.” Grubber said to you, making sure his aim was true as he tightened his claw on the trigger.
“I’ll humor him. I am Tempest Shadow, former commander of the Storm King army, and friend to a colt named Anon, and of course, Princess Twilight Sparkle. The hedgehog’s name is Grubber, my trusted partner. And that’s Capper, that’s all you need to know at the moment. Now then, your turn.” You tell him, as your horn sparkles.
“Tempest Shadow? Hm, I’ve heard of you. Defected from the Storm King and assisted in his defeat by Anon’s hoof. If that’s true, then what are you doing here? At this time of night?” The pony asked you, as he kept his eyes sweeping for any movement.
“I believe I asked you to identify yourself first. Give us a reason to trust you, or else this will not end well.” Once again, you warn him. He did seem somewhat old, and could be that ‘scholar’. The filly you saw could be a red herring.
“Hmph” He grunted and paused for a moment. “I am Chancellor Neighsay of the Equestrian Education Association. By that title alone, you should know that I’m no villain.”
You’ve never heard of him. But given he seemed to be attacked, and the level of magic he seems to wield, you’ll believe it for now. “I see. As for your question, we were coming from Klugetown to take part in the Hearthwarming celebrations. A battle with a Tatzlwurm delayed us, but I am not one to rest when I have a schedule to keep. Which is why I find you being here odd. Why does an Equestrian Official of your caliber have business in town at such a late hour. Especially on a holiday.”
Suddenly, he finally seemed to relent. “That is none of your business.” He says, until he turns his head upon hearing a click from Grubber’s weapon.
“It ain’t a multiple choice question. We get here, and the first thing that happens is some kind of mind control trying to drill into Tempest’s head. So, to me, that makes things realllllly off. In fact, why aren’t you all zombified then? Whatever is going on, it seems to affect ponies. So, yeah, it is our business.” Grubber said as he took a step forward, keeping his weapon aimed. “Seems to me like you’re the one behind this. How else did you get past that barrier?”
“Barrier?” The pony seemed confused. “What barrie-hm?” And finally, he turns his head to look around, and spots the barrier guarding the town. “I didn’t even realize…”
“Which is why you’re the prime suspect right now. That is why I-Hm?” Suddenly, Capper began to approach Neighsay, a cool smile on his face. “Capper.”
“Relax, Tempest. It seems to me we all got off on the wrong foot here. Or hoof… paw?” Capper let out a little chuckle before bowing towards Neighsay. “I apologize for my friends. I know, they’re pretty scary. But it seems to me that none of us are the enemy here. So, instead of this crazy little standoff, can you just tell us what happened to you? Looks like you got into a scrap.”
But Neighsay, he just stared at Capper hard and grit his teeth. “Step-away-from-me-you-mangy-thing.”
“Look, buddy. You can insult me all you want, but it ain’t gonna help any of us. Besides, you may want to have a look at that castle over there. Apparently, it’s owned by some guy named Tirek. Dunno who he is, but he sounds plenty bad.” Capper said as he pointed behind him towards the towering castle.
“Tirek? That’s impossible” Neighsay told him, still ready for combat.
“Is it? Like I said, I dunno anything about the guy, but Tempest does. So, why don’t you just confirm it for me, huh? You gotta be curious to look at what I’m pointing at, right?” Capper said, giving him a charming smile.
Neighsay furrowed his brow at him, and lit up his horn brightly as he looked behind himself. Suddenly, he became shaken. “Those banners… How? That’s impossible! He was sealed deep in Tartarus.”
“Well, that confirms it. So, you were in there, right? Mind telling us what you saw?” Capper asked, crossing his arms as he waited for Neighsay’s answer.
“First, tell me what your cargo is. It seems suspicious to me.” Neighsay said as he looked over at the cart you had been lugging around.
“Well, I admit, the weapons seems pretty bad looking.” Capper said as he brandished his flamethrower weapon, bringing it out from his coat. “But we couldn’t just trust them to be left untouched in a place like Klugetown, you get it? As for the bag, it is just a whole bunch of toys for the foals.” Capper said, as you took it upon yourself to just go along with it for now, as he seemed to be making progress. You open the bag to show off the toys, as well as bringing out a few weapons from the crate to show off to Neighsay. “Figured it’s the time of year where all the little ones deserve a whole bunch of stuff, don’t you think?”
“...But why would somecreature like you even care about foals?” Neighsay asked, looking at Capper suspiciously.
Capper just shrugged. “Because it makes them happy, and teaches them good will, I guess. I felt pretty good when Rarity fixed up my old threads for nothing. Literally nothing. She’s the cat’s meow, if you catch my drift.” Capper said with a wink. “You’re like, some education guy, right? Don’t you care about the foals?”
“How dare you! Of course I do! That is the whole point of my position! To make sure all students have a bright future and wonderful education! To make sure everypony has access to the highest levels of learning! That’s why I’m here! I came to leave Princess Twilight Sparkle notes during this momentous holiday for her to read after school resumes. I figured she has had her way for too long, and not only needed to show her progress for last semester, but take on a few of my suggestions to make sure everything goes according to regulation! Her taking on so many non-ponies was already becoming more and more suspicious. And now look! Somehow Tirek has taken over, and she’s nowhere to be found! I can only assume this is her fault, and she has been captured as well. Typical, this is why I must inform Princess Celestia and Luna, and seek the help of Starswirl the Bearded and his companions!” Neighsay said, feeling insulted by Capper’s insinuation.
Well, it was becoming clear why he wasn’t under mind control. He had a clear disdain for creatures that weren’t a pony, and was highly contemptuous of Twilight. At least that made sense. So, now, how did he get past the barrier? “I would not recommend that. This mind control seems to bend one’s positive emotions and feelings to the will of an entity we have yet to identify. It also only seems to affect ponies, at least for now. I almost succumbed myself, when I was worried about those within the barrier. Which brings me to my next set of questions. How did you enter the town, what happened to you, and how did you leave?”
“Are you insinuating I don’t care what’s going on in that town?!” Neighsay asked, disgusted with your insinuation.
“I’m saying your other feelings seem to be shielding you from the effects. Now, I am asking you to answer the question. I’m already trying to formulate a plan to at least attempt taking back the town, but one of the hurdles is getting past that barrier. I’m asking you with a please, even with a sugar on top of said please.” A bit humiliating to say, but you needed this answer.
Neighsay stayed silent, eyeing Capper and Grubber again, then finally answered as he held up his medallion. “...This is a magical artifact that allows me to open gates over long distances. I used it to enter the town, only to see, or at least think, I had appeared somewhere else. But then the townsponies, they were indeed of Ponyville. They stared at me, with blue glowing eyes. Blue, and dead-looking, eyes. I tried to speak to them, but after my sixth attempt, they suddenly began to attack me, almost mindlessly. Unicorns didn’t cast any spells, pegasi didn’t fly, they attacked like monsters! I used the same method to exit the town, escaping by the skin of my teeth." He paused for a moment, then seemed to figure out what you planned to do. “You wish to open a gate and attack Tirek head on, don’t you? Are you aware that you and your ragtag group of misfits are incapable of stopping him as you are?”
You nodded. “We are, hence why we seek the help of a changeling named Chrysalis. She is an ancient evil, or a former one, as I have come to understand that Anon has reformed her.” You nodded towards Grubber to lower his weapon, as an understanding seems to be made. “We need power and tactics, and we hope that the likes of at least Anon and Discord are with her in some way. Those two would bolster our power considerably. If, somehow, Princess Twilight is also with them, then all the better”
Neighsay stopped for a moment, confused. “You believe Princess Twilight hasn’t been captured?”
You shook your head. “I assume nothing, I can only hope.” He didn’t seem to have a big reaction towards the mention of Chrysalis, that made you curious. “So, would you agree to help us, then? To find Chrysalis and assist in the retaking of Ponyville?”
“It’d really mean a lot to us, y’know?” Capper said “Think about it, you’d get to be a real big hero.”
“You want to find the Changeling Queen. It is true, she has reformed. Normally, I’d be heavily against it. But…” Suddenly, he shook, as if he was traumatized by something. “I had seen a level of conviction of her reformation that even if I highly detest it, I must respect it. We had almost lost the hero colt due to my own actions, as his belief in her is stronger than, I’d even say, Princess Twilight has in her own students.” Neighsay then sighed. “Not to mention I had been keeping my ears open to any future crime she may try to commit. She has done nothing. One could assume she has something to do with this, but there might, or might not be a cha-”
“Bla, bla, bla, we get it already!” Grubber said, waving his Trapper Blaster around in annoyance. “You want to hate her, but something happened that made you also not want to. I don’t know if you typically understand villain stuff, but here’s something for you: The longer we wait around doing nothing, the bigger a chance they end up winning. Just stuff whatever you don’t like about her down your piehole and help us already!”
Neighsay's eyes began to shift. He looked back towards the town, then back at your group. “There’s really no choice in the matter, is there?”
You shook your head. “We have to take what we can get. Equestria will fall if we allow this to continue.”
“Yes, but, wouldn’t that be something she wants?” Neighsay asked, as he began to slowly falter.
Capper just shrugged and gave him a reassuring smile. “Look, I don’t think that bug lady is wanting anything bad to happen. The way Anon talked about her makes it seem like they’re family. To me, that is. I can bet you they’re probably making their own plans to take back the town. And you, my friend, have got the key they need to make it happen. You wanna save those ponies? Then c’mon, we got work to do.”
Neighsay went silent again as he put his hoof over his amulet. It suddenly began to shine as a gate opened before all of you. “...Then let us make haste. This will take us to her home within the forest. I’m trusting you all for now. But make one sleight, and I’ll put you down myself.”
Good, you wouldn’t have it any other way, it keeps his mind in check.
Though, you felt some tinge of worry pierce your heart. What would you come to find out?
Who was hurt?
Who was hypnotized?
Would she help?
…Anon, he hasn’t made a move, which was unlike him.
As the four of you stepped out from the portal gate, the manor’s front doors stood before you. You didn’t care to take in its features as you prepare to knock.
“Hold!” Neighsay called out from behind you. “Are you sure it’s alright to just make ourselves known straight away? Perhaps a strategy in case the worst has come to worst?”
“The strange influence I was feeling earlier doesn’t seem to reach here. So if there’s any kind of danger, we will either fight through it or retreat. We don’t really have any other options at this point.” You say as you reach out, and knock before he can say anything more.
"And yet you... Ngh." Neighsay grunted and stomped his hoof, but said nothing more. He just seemed to prep himself for what was to come at this point.
You all then waited.
“You think someone is even home? What if they evacuated?” Capper asked. “Doesn’t seem smart to stick around here, mansion or no.”
“Hmn, I have my doubts. A changeling queen never abandons her hive. In fact, I’d even say that this calm setting hides true horrors that lays inside for us.” Neighsay said in a chilling tone. "You should have waited."
Grubber just shrugged. “Just another day for us, right, Tempe-Hmn!” Suddenly, Grubber stands at the ready for an attack as the door opens.
Capper jumps back, expecting a monster, as per Neighsay’s ominous message.
Neighsay’s horn glowed, he was ready for some sort of attack.
You did nothing, as you could already see a very tired purple dragon holding a mug, eyes reddened from lack of sleep, step outside. “Ngh, Starlight, you’re back-Woah!” Spike, you recognized him, Twilight’s assistant. It seems he hadn’t slept for some time now, or at least he has been awake all night. Given he called you Starlight, it seemed he was waiting for someone. “Tempest?! Is that really you? Woah, what are you doing here?!”
“At first? Hearthwarming. But it seems you’re in need of assistance. There’s no time for hellos, Spike. We need information.” You tell him, waiting to be let inside.
“O-oh, I’m guessing you got a glimpse of what Ponyville looks like now, huh? Is there anyp-Chancellor Neighsay?! You’re here?!” Spike yelped, taken aback enough to drop his mug of black liquid. “What in the hay?!”
“Is that a surprise?” Chancellor Neighsay asked, deeply wondering why Spike seemed so astonished.
“I mean, yeah. I mean… Look… Um….” Spike seemed to be at a loss for words. You didn’t know if he had something spiteful to say, or was truly that surprised. Either way, he stepped aside, pushing the glass of his mug to the side with his foot, looking at it as if he wanted to clean it up. “...Just, come in and follow me to the living room. You guys need to be caught up to speed.”
The four of you carefully but closely followed. You, nor Neighsay, had nothing to really say about the interior of the grand entrance hall. Though, silently, you were impressed, as he seemed to be.
“Woah, this place looks more like one of those mansions owned by those greedy guys in the Christmas movies I watched.” Capper said as he looked around, taking notice of the paintings. “Hm, interesting pieces she’s got there.”
“Can you, perhaps, focus on more serious matters? We have no time to marvel at frivolous things.” Neighsay said in a sharp manner.
Capper recoiled at that, his ears folding slightly as he put his hands in his pockets, looking glum. “Y-yeah, just trying to lighten the mood a little, I guess.”
“Look, let’s not jump on anycreature here, alright? It’s Hearthwarming, even if everything is really really awful right now.” Spike said as he led you all into the living room. He pointed at the large couch for you all to sit on as he walked over, to what seemed to be, a lit human television set, and shut it off. He then looked at the four of you with tired eyes, and sat at a recliner beside you all. “So, what do you guys know so far?”
“Very little. Spike, we need to know everything that has happened thus far. Every last detail.” You tell him. Knowing what you knew meant nothing. It was more important to get the details from someone who was well in the know.
“Before that…” Neighsay calls out, interrupting Spike before he can even speak.
“Oh geez, what now?! Look here, Mister School Guy, whatever other garbage you have to spew, you can save it! What reason could you possibly have to interrupt Tempest?” Grubber asked, already itching to blast Neighsay into a net.
“What reason? Unless you didn’t notice, that is Spike, Twilight’s assistant. But as you can see, there is no Princess Twilight Sparkle with him. Before we gather information on the town, we must know the situation we’re in now. So tell me, ‘Spike’, why are YOU here? Seems strange you’d be here cowering when you should have been at her side.” Neighsay said in a near-venomous fashion.
“Hey!” Spike suddenly stood up, smoke billowing from his nose as he pointed harshly at Neighsay. “Lay off, alright?! I didn’t even know she was captured! We were busy evacuating everypony we could! I wasn’t hiding! If I was there, I would have fought to the end! But everything went so wrong, so fast! I… I…” Spike fell to his knees. “She’s gone, they’re all gone. They were all captured before anypony even really knew what was going on.”
“Hey!” Grubber jumped up, standing on the couch, as he aimed his Trapper Blaster at Neighsay. “What did I say!? You’re out of line, buddy!” He cocked his blaster as he looked down the sights. “How about I just put you in a net for awhile, or maybe a few months, yeah, that sounds-” But you interrupt Grubber immediately, trying to regain control of the situation.
“Enough! Chancellor, the situation is grave enough without you berating a baby dragon. You say you care about ponykind, yet if we cannot get to the bottom of this, then they, us, and everything else is doomed. Unless you have something important to say, I’ll be the one handling the questions from now on.” This wasn’t a request, you were making an order. Times were too dire to allow something like this.
“And you don’t think learning what has become of everypony else is important?!” Neighsay said as he stood up, looking directly at you with intense eyes.
“I think that if we be quiet and pay attention, we’ll learn everything we need to know. But if you need incentive to let him speak…” You look to Spike, trying to soften your tone towards him. “This manor holds some refugees from the town, correct?”
Spike nodded, fidgeting from tiredness and nervousness “Y-yeah. T-they’re allowed to use the guest rooms upstairs, but most of them chose to stay in that cave downstairs since it pretty much has an escape tunnel. E-everycreature is being well provided for too. We have a lot of great food and warm beds for everycreature, even you guys. I know that sounds crazy, but it was really nice of Chrysalis to let us all stay here. It’s just…” Spike grabbed his arm, looking away, becoming even more nervous as he stops speaking for a moment. “Though, to tell you the truth, the only one who has even talked to her is Diamond Tiara. She won’t talk to anypony else, not even her own Captain.”
“Young Diamond Tiara? The daughter of the Riches? I know her… What kind of connection does she have with Chrysalis?” Chancellor Neighsay asked. He seemed deeply troubled, yet intrigued, by such information.
But this line of questioning was unimportant, and you needed to get everything in order before indulging in any irrelevant questions. “Chancellor, again, we must start from the beginning. I won’t tell you again. And I won’t hold back my partner.” You tell him. Immediately Grubber gives him a cruel smirk as he spins his weapon along his claw as a warning.
Chancellor Neighsay once again looked at you with disdain. But he sighed, settled down, and waited. “Very well, we’ll do things your way… For now. But be aware I don’t take too kindly to threats.”
And you didn’t care. “Noted. Now, Spike, if you will please proceed.”
Spike nodded, and began to explain the situation. The start of the story confirmed your worst fears, something had happened to Anon after all, and his horn was taken. After that, he was used as bait to lure in Discord, and both were locked away afterwards. After that, Cozy Glow had apparently fooled Twilight into venturing into the castle alone, leading to her being captured. Or at least, that is what he was told by Discord, as it seems the story was told to him by others as time went on. After Twilight’s capture, the townsponies began to slowly change and become mind controlled. You learned that Diamond Tiara’s parents had succumbed, and she had first tried to seek help from Anon, but was cornered and fled into the forest. A dangerous move, but apparently Chrysalis was closeby from where she entered. Chrysalis herself had been spying from a distance, curious about Hearthwarming celebrations, and had not known about the strange happenings until Diamond had informed her. Chrysalis had quickly taken Diamond to her manor to hide, and ventured into the town to try to find out what was going on herself under the guise of another. There was already an emergency evacuation going on as she returned, with ponies already turning on one another as they attempted to make their way to the old castle in the forest. Twilight had gone missing and, at the time, no one had known why. She assumed her form to make it appear she had never left. Chrysalis had then used this form to try to assault the castle with the rest of the elements of harmony, but was bested. The elements were lost, and she was only able to recover Discord, who is severely weakened. During this time, the evacuees were already being taken to her manor, due to her request under the guise of Twilight. The only other powerful pony within the manor was Starlight Glimmer, but she was out searching for lost foals.
But then there were the adversaries themselves. It was not only Tirek, armed with a powerful staff that used the power of chaos and harmony, but also…
“Cozy Glow?!” Neighsay shouted in surprise. “That can’t be right. I have studied all of Princess Twilight’s reports on her students to make sure nothing was amiss, and she was an up and coming prodigy when it came to her classes. Surely Tirek is merely using her.”
Spike shook his head. “I thought that too. But it’s true, she’s working with Tirek. And the crazy thing is, Discord and Chrysalis seem to think she’s the true mastermind. Tirek might just be another pawn.”
“But that’s outrageous! You can’t expect me to believe such a young filly is the culprit behind all this!” Neighsay said, defiant against the information brought before him.
“...It’s true. When this ‘influence’ tried to control my mind, I could see her, hear her even. I could hear her name. Whether this is a partnership, or a ruse, it doesn’t matter. Our resources are lower than we thought. Unless we work out a strong strategy, then all hope is lost.” They had control of all six of the elements of harmony. You doubted Anon would succumb to this influence, but sadly, he also wouldn’t be much help in this endeavor. You still wanted to rescue him of course. But it’d be all for naught without at least destroying the staff or restoring Twilight and Discord back to their original states.
“I can’t believe they got them all like that. And so fast. We gotta do something.” Capper said as he stood up, pounding his fist into his palm. “We can’t just sit around like lazy felines here, we gotta come up with a plan.”
“Easy, buddy, we will. But trust me, this situation is really delicate stuff. Tempest, we can use this creep to get past the barrier, right? You got anything for after that?” Grubber asked, as he tried to calm down Capper.
“Not yet. Grubber, Discord, as we heard, is currently the head chef of the manor. I want you to find him and gather any more intel on the situation. I’m sure someone like him is withholding a few facts Spike may have missed.” You said.
Grubber saluted. “You got it, Tempest. But what about you?”
“I’m going to speak to Chrysalis herself, and find out why she’s been acting ‘strange’ since her battle at the castle. Spike, if you c-” But you stop when you noticed he had fallen over, sleeping deeply with loud snores. “Hm. I’m sure I can find the room on my own. Capper, keep an eye on Neighsay.”
“Excuse me?! I think not! If anything, I believe you may need my assistance!” Neighsay said in a demanding tone.
“Given your attitude, you may actually end up risking our lives over nothing. For your health, I’d suggest you remain here.” You tell him. If Chrysalis wanted to be alone, you were sure she may end up becoming violent. Or at least verbally hostile. Having Neighsay around would no doubt make things unnecessarily difficult.
“You are aware I’m the only one who can even make any plan you come up with work, correct? I have the ability to pass through that barrier.” Neighsay reminded you.
“And you’d be so petty as to keep that to yourself over something like this?” You ask him.
Neighsay stopped for a moment, as if shocked you’d suggest such a thing, and furrowed his brow. “I’m insulted you’d even suggest that I would. I understand what the stakes are. I also understand that the dragon seems to have painted our changeling ally as disturbed. Things might be more dangerous than they appear and you may need my help subduing her should things become unpleasant.”
“I have dealt with situations like this many times before. Your services won’t be required.” You tell him.
“And I have dealt with the same kinds of situations myself. I also know that if there is a chance she may attack you, then you may need my help subduing her. I’m willing to let you do things your way, but the moment you lose control of the situation, then we do things my way. Surely that is something you can find agreeable.” Neighsay offered.
As much as you wanted to deny the offer, you felt that if you did, or perhaps even if you left him here with Capper, he’d find a way to do things on his own without you. It may be better just to take him along and have him wait outside her room. He seemed like someone who abides by his own word, so you’ll allow it, but with a caveat. “...Fine then, agreed. But if you act out of line, I will make sure you stay unconscious until we need you. Are we clear?”
Neighsay scoffed at her words, but agreed regardless in a sarcastic tone. “Crystal.”
With that, the two of you made your way to the grand stairs to the second floor. You couldn't help but take notice of the paintings on the side of each staircase. One in particular what must have been a human in some strange armor. Given the television in the living room, you knew her reverence for them must have been strong. You wondered if she had painted it herself, or if Anon conjured them. You could hear Neighsay question the art behind you, obviously displeased with what he saw.
The upper floor’s halls were simpler, yet grand, with the velvet red carpets, full flower vases with green flowers and brighter green roses, and doors with extravagant designs and emblems. But which one was her bedroom? Well, it wouldn’t take long to find it as you came upon a larger, more stylized, door that seemed to resemble that of a master’s bedroom with darker undertones. Though, what made it more obvious was a little filly with a tiara, wrapped in quilts, sleeping by the door. It seems this was Diamond Tiara, Anon’s marefriend.
“Hm? What is she doing out here?” Neighsay asked, finding the situation highly suspect. “This is no place for a filly to sleep.”
“It’s obvious. She’s worried about Chrysalis. My guess is she fell asleep outside her door, and someone else wrapped her up in those quilts.” You surmised.
Neighsay was silent, he didn’t say anything else after that, he merely observed a while more before looking upon the door. “So then, I expect you to want me to wait out here.”
You nod towards him. “I do, the situation doesn’t call for both of us.”
“Hm… Just remember what I told you.” Neighsay reminded you.
“I remember. Just don’t enter prematurely if you want to be awake for what follows next.” You really meant it. He was too prejudiced for a situation such as this.
“I’m aware.” He said, giving you a sharpened look.
Hmm…
You checked the door. It was locked, up until it began to glow for a moment, and clicked.
“Consider it a courtesy.” Neighsay said, his horn glowing softly.
…Hmnnn.
You slowly make your way inside, and as soon as you do, the door suddenly shuts behind you, and locks. The room was dark, too dark for you to see.
“Well, well, a foolish pony has entered my domain. I thought I made it very clear that only the foal may enter here. That is, unless you came to be a living test to my future vengeance.” A dark voice said, from where, you could barely tell as it echoed all around you.
Well, it became apparent why only Diamond Tiara was allowed to enter this room.
“I didn’t come here for a fight, Chrysalis. I am Tempest Shadow, and I’ve come seeking your assistance in stopping Tirek and Cozy Glow.” You told her, keeping your eye out for any glowing through the darkness. Listening for any movement.
“My assistance? Ha! And what makes you think I need a pony with a broken horn?” Chrysalis scoffed.
“Like you, I conquered many kingdoms and civilizations when I was the commander of the Storm King’s army. Defeating and conquering Canterlot was actually quite easy. Surely that is proof enough of my skill.” Something wasn’t right, you would have thought she’d jump at the chance to take them on.
“And what does that mean to me, exactly? I am fully capable of crushing them myself. No, not crush… Eviscerate.” Chrysalis said
“I suppose nothing. But if you want to eviscerate them, then I’m willing to assist with that as well.” If that’ll get her to show herself, then so be it. You’d light your horn up yourself if you were sure nothing in the room was flammable.
“Assist? Then stand still, and show me what you look like on the inside.” Without warning, you see a green light on the ceiling as two magic bolts are hurled at you. You step aside quickly, making sure to feel for anything, noticing you’re now close to a bed.
“This is getting us nowhere! How could you want revenge if you want to tear apart those willing to help you?” Something was most definitely wrong. You’d think she would have jumped at the chance to hear you out if you agreed with her, yet she wanted to tear you apart.
“Because you’re all useless! USELESS! All that power, all that friendship, and you all lost to them! I WILL destroy them for this. Them, you, and all of ponykind! All will know my wrath!” She bellowed as she fired another stream of bolts at you. Again, an easy dodge. But she was moving around now, you could hear her scurrying around the ceiling.
But the way she was acting. You could sense it in her voice. She was grieving, she was in pain. If everything Anon told you was true, then simply him being captured was enough to set her off. But to go so far?
Unless, it was worse than being captured…
“Calm down! Why would you want that? I’m not only here to help you with your revenge. I’m also here to help rescue everyone as well, and that includes Anon. You ne-” But suddenly, the mere moment you said his name, came a blood-curdling scream.
“SILENCE!” She cried out as dived down at you through the darkness. You dodged her, given the sound of her yelling gave her away. She quickly turns around and tries to fire more magic at you. Again, easily dodged. She wasn’t moving or striking as hard as you had heard she was capable of. “HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU! DON’T EVER SAY HIS NAME! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY IT! YOU’RE NOTHING! AND YOU’RE NOT FIT TO SAY IT IN MY PRESENCE!”
…That raw, visceral anger.
At that moment, you felt true pain in the core of your heart.
That kind of anger could only mean one thing.
He was gone…
…
…
“You need to snap out of this. He would-Hyah!” You jumped backwards as she tried to headbutt into your neck.
“SHUT UP! Where were you?! You say you know him, but you weren’t there! Nopony was! You all made him soft, and weak! He walked right into their trap, and they destroyed him for it! HE DIDN’T DESERVE IT! HE HAD ALL THAT POWER, AND HE CHOSE TO HOLD BACK! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! HER FAULT! EQUESTRIA’S FAULT!” Chrysalis cried out once again as flames began to brighten the room in an emerald green, causing her bed, her photos, her furniture, all to alight into an all-devouring wall of flames.
“You need to calm down! Chrysalis, if what you say is true, he wouldn’t want to see you like this. He’d want you to avenge him. He wasn’t the average pony, I know that. But he would have wanted you to have your revenge while protecting those he cares about, those you care about. I heard how you treat his mar-NGH!” It was no use, she lit her horn, causing the flames to encircle you both, the heat becoming sweltering. She wasn’t in her right mind, she was willing to destroy everything around her. Even herself.
“I TOLD YOU TO BE SILENT! It’s over! I’ll recover my strength by sucking up all the love in this manor, and I will go back and destroy all of Ponyville if I have to, just to make sure those two become corpses! Nocreature here is strong enough to fight them but me! I’ll show you what I can do, I’ll use you as a stepping stone to my conquest!” Chrysalis said as her horn glowed brighter, her wings spreading out, as the flames began to close in on you.
“Chrysalis, stop and think! There’s no coming back if you do this!” She wasn’t listening. It just felt like everything you were saying to her was making her angrier.
“...I’ve heard enough!” Said a booming voice as a magical flash filled the room. Instantly the flames were dissipated as you and Chrysalis were flung and held to the ceiling.
“What?! What is the meaning of this?!” Chrysalis growled as she tried to break free. “Who?! Wait… You!”
“Chancellor?!” What? What was he doing in here? What was he doing?!
“I would have thought you’d have handled the situation better than this. But that is why I made sure to cast an extra spell on the doorknob when I unlocked it. A listening spell so I could hear everything going on as I put Diamond Tiara to bed.” Chancellor Neighsay said as he looked up at the both of you, his stare hardened, as he held you both still. “You’re lucky I arrived when I did.”
“You?! What are you doing here?! Let me free!” Chrysalis growled even fiercer as she tried to free herself, writhing to no avail.
“I will not. You have gone out of control! Though… Hearing what I heard, I think I can understand why. Yes, the same grief Anon held towards you when he thought the worst, I never thought you’d be able to display the same.” Chancellor Neighsay said, as he began to walk forward, his eyes never leaving Chrysalis’s.
“Chancellor, what are you planning?” What did he plan to do? Was he going to destroy her? Did he have the capacity to seal her away?
“Nothing, I just wish to speak my mind. Chrysalis, I’ve heard much about you. I’ve had to, given nopony else seemed to deem you a danger. I’ve tried to learn as much about you as I can, and I realize something like this has happened to you before. In fact, it is what led you to your ‘bet’ with Princess Twilight. Your rage towards Princess Celestia. The loss of your children, am I correct?” Chancellor Neighsay asked.
“You worm! What gives you the right to speak to me like this?!” Chrysalis screamed towards him, her anger building again.
“The fact that it seems without love, you’re powerless, so much so that even I can defeat you as if you were a foal. But I digress, I shall continue whether you want to hear it or not. This grief you feel, this anger. I’ve seen it in students before. Those who try to overachieve, or have failed miserably. Or perhaps that isn’t a strong enough example. No, it wouldn’t be. But the story of the Pony of Shadows, and Nightmare Moon, should suffice.” Neighsay continued.
What was he getting at?
“And what does any of that have to do with me?! All you’re doing is making sure you’ll be just a smear on my wall!” Chrysalis barked at him.
“It is actually quite simple. Their grief, anger, and jealousy made them the beings that they were. You already show signs of turning as bad as they were. In fact, I was told your own captain has not been allowed in this room. Understandable, I’m sure his rivalry with Anon would be something you’d not want to deal with. Which brings me to young Diamond Tiara…” And with that, he suddenly struck a nerve.
“What?! What does this have to do with her?! Grrr, let me loose! This instant!” Chrysalis screamed out as she once again tried to break free of his hold.
“Everything. Think about it. You’re already talking about destroying Equestria. That alone should be enough for me to stop you, here and now. Grief or no grief, you’ve become too dangerous. You’ve lost control, just like they did, and you know it. If you can’t handle being around your own captain, then what of Diamond Tiara? How long until she makes a mistake, and you destroy her for it?” Neighsay asked.
Suddenly, Chrysalis broke out in a different kind of anger. “How dare you! I’d never do that to her! EVER! LET ME DOWN, YOU COWARD! YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR NOW!”
“I’m afraid you have gone too far, or you will. Don’t lie to me, Chrysalis, it’ll get you nowhere. I have to wonder, where did you direct your anger before when you lost your children? When they betrayed you. It wasn’t Princess Celestia, was it? No, not at first. Anon was foolish, wasn’t he? He was the reason Princess Celestia and King Thorax had access to your hive. I’d bet my very position that you tried to destroy Anon first. Tell me if I’m wrong.” Neighsay said as he began to stare her down.
And that’s when you saw it. She suddenly relented. She said nothing, she just stared at him with sorrowful anger as… tears? Tears, they began to flow down her cheeks.
Neighsay actually seemed surprised by her reaction. “I was actually only guessing, but it seems I was spot on. You’re selfish, and you’ll destroy everything around you because you can’t control yourself. I’m sorry for your loss, I truly am. But I will not waste my own emotions on a loathsome insect who refuses to see the bigger picture. To me, you don’t seem to care about anypony. I don’t even think you care about Anon, at least not truly, if you’re willing to destroy him out of anger.” Neighsay waited for a moment for a reply, but she had truly gone silent. Neighsay weakened his hold and brought you both slowly to the charred ground. He then turned around and looked back at you. “I’m done here. If I go any further, my own biases, as you think I have, will take things too far in the other direction. I will go downstairs and question Discord myself. I’ll leave things to you here, now that the situation is handled.” And with that, he walked off, closing the door behind him.
That… Was unexpected. You turned to look at Chrysalis, who was looking away from you, unmoving.
…
“You’re thinking about if you’d actually do it, aren’t you?” You asked her.
“I would have… He was right, I had tried to end Anon before.” Chrysalis said, her tone now full of hidden sorrow as she tried to sound stoic.
“But he forgave you anyway. He just wanted to be friends with you again, and to see you do better.” You said.
Chrysalis let out a sad chuckle. “An idiotic notion, to be honest. I still used him, trying to have my revenge, even making a false version of him to reach my goals.”
“And yet, he still forgave you. Despite your anger, and your want for revenge, you were happier when you swallowed your pride and accepted his friendship. Their friendship…” You said to her.
“Mnnn… It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s gone. I never even thought such a thing was possible.” Chrysalis sighed, almost sounding like she was in pain. “It was my fault. I wasn’t strong enough, and I wasn’t there for him. He said that name to me before, Cozy Glow. I should have investigated her myself. I just… I just thought he’d have taken my advice, and used his magic when he should have.” Chrysalis then looked over at the charred remains of her room, and walked over, grabbing an old photo of her and Anon. She looked annoyed in the picture, while Anon looked quite happy just to be at her side. “I don’t even know what to tell Little Sister. She doesn’t know he’s gone. All I could think about was ripping those two to shreds. But Neighsay, he was right. I grew weaker as I became angry and hateful. Tch, look at me… I’ve become so pathetic.” Chrysalis said as her tears began to fall on the photo.
“...I may not show it. But I do know how you feel. Anon helped me too. Without him, I wouldn’t have seen how foolish I was to believe the Storm King would grant my wish. I want to cry, I do. But if I lose myself, I won’t be able to fight back.” You told her, containing your emotions, even now.
“...I believe you, I can feel it in you.” Chrysalis went silent again as she put the photo back in its spot, still looking away from you. “Did you mean what you said? That you’d be willing to seek revenge? Even if it means tearing them apart?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had such thoughts. Anon once suggested I say ‘Eat shit and die’, so I’d have to come up with something else for those two.” You tell her.
She went silent for a moment, then let out a slightly happier chuckle. “‘Eat shit and die’, huh? That does sound like something he’d say. Did you actually say it?” She asked as she slowly looked back at you.
You nodded “I did, and it felt good saying it. As far as I’m concerned, those two are nothing but shitstains that aren’t even worth the toilet paper.”
Chrysalis let out another small chuckle, as if she was being reminded of him. “Agreed. Hmm, do you think it’s possible to win? Do you think we stand a chance?”
“Hm? Are you asking me that? I would think you already know we have the best odds.” You say, giving her a small confident smile.
“Yes, how foolish of me to ask. Hmn, I wonder if that Starlight Glimmer has returned yet. She’s actually quite powerful for a unicorn. Yes, maybe, if we have a strong enough force, we can beat them.” Chrysalis said in a low voice, as she began to wonder about the odds.
“We can, and we will. We need to gather our will, and make sure everyone knows what is at stake. We all must be willing to fight.” You tell her, feeling a renewed vigor within yourself.
“Oh, I’m sure we all will. We’ll wait for now, for her to return. Then we’ll work out an attack plan, combine all our knowledge of those two together. Because, I promise you, there will be no mistakes. We will crush them, and I will avenge him.” Chrysalis said, standing up, giving you a softer and confident look in her eyes.
You sat in your castle library. Reading book after book with one hand while pumping iron with the other. You’ve been having ponies bring in every book they can from the town, and from Twilight Sparkle's castle library, trying to find more information on this ‘Deus Ex Machina’ the outworlder spoke of.
“That was too close. How did she do it? The staff was combined with the powers of chaos and harmony and she still managed to damage it. There’s no explanation, and yet, that outworlder was right!” You growled to yourself in anger. “But how can these things just ‘happen’? It makes no sense now, just like it made no sense that Discord was the last key to that Rainbow Power used to defeat me before. This cannot be exclusive to his world if it’s been happening before he even arrived. Then why...?” You filled with rage as you slammed the weight you were lifting into the table. “WHY IS THERE IS NO RECORD OF IT ANYWHERE?!”
“Ngh, why do you have to be so loud? I’m twying to sleep.” Said a voice beside you. “You’ve been angry all night, when we’re supposed to be getting ready to celebrate Hearthwarming in the morning”
You looked to your side to see Cozy’s changed, glowing red eyes staring back at you, her wings still twisted. She was sitting on the stack of books you had brought in. She seemed annoyed, as if you care. “I’m maintaining my mind and body. So if you don’t mind, go back to bed and leave me be.”
“Like I said, I can’t. Everytime you break something, I end up waking up! Golly, why are you so angry? We’ve already won, remember?” Cozy said.
“Why am I so angry? Let me list it off for you: One, you rushed into this plan without any proper testing of the staff, leading to our zombified forces barely able to do anything more than attack like mindless drones or follow simplest of commands. Two, said staff is broken, diminishing our power greatly. Three, I can’t drain any of these ponies without risking breaking the flux of chaotic and harmonic power flowing through you and the staff.” You said as you counted everything off on each finger.
“Oh, that’s because everything is working like a chain, right? Why would draining a pony break it?” Cozy asked, confused.
“Because…” You groaned. “It is a chain, as in, it’s all connected. It’s why we haven’t drained Discord or Twilight dry, they keep the flow going. It flows through their hearts and minds, giving us control over the ponies who succumb to the influence. But draining just one of those mindless fools could cause the magic to redirect into, what we’ll call, nothingness. Due to that, it could cause a powerful enough buildup to blow this entire town to smithereens, and that’s at best! This is why we needed to do testing first. But oooooh no, you just had to rush things.” You growled at her, wagging your finger angrily. “They have an opening now. If that barrier doesn’t hold them back, they can easily overpower us and reverse everything we’ve done! You’re the one who was all about planning, so why are you so content now?!”
“Hmmmm…” Cozy tapped at her chin, pondering. “Well, because it isn’t like they can really do anything. Anypony that even gets close to the town will become ours.”
“And yet we know that method isn’t perfect either. We didn’t get all of them, so some are able to resist. And without the full power of the staff, we cannot strengthen the influence’s power. But you seem so sure of yourself, so why don’t you contribute something to the cause? O friendly Empress.” You said, aggravated, giving her a sarcastic bow.
“Well, if you’re really worried about needing more power, why don’t you just go out and suck up some magic?” Cozy suggested.
“Oh, brilliant plan. Except, AGAIN, they know we’re here. I do not have the power to take down those two alicorn princesses, much less Starswirl the Bearded. And lest we forget Chrysalis no doubt is just waiting for me to step one hoof out of town to turn me to ash. Destroying the outworlder was a mistake, it somehow made her more powerful, beyond the scope of what I thought possible.” This was becoming far more annoying than what you could bear. It seems Cozy Glow only planned up to the part where she can rule everything, and didn’t think of anything after. Even if you were ahead at the moment, you were regretting teaming up with her.
Cozy just shrugged at you. “Well, that was more your fault than mine.”
“You listen here, you pint-sized lunatic. It has become clear to me that I’m the only one taking this seriously. You wanted to rush our victory? Fine, then I’m going to make sure we stay on that path.” You say as you stand up, pushing the broken table away from you angrily as you begin to walk over towards the exit of the library.
“Well golly, Mister Tirek, if I knew you were going to be this upset about it, I would have tried harder.” Cozy said in an apologetic tone, before giving you a hard stare. “But I also don’t like it when you accuse me of not trying hard. We’re friends, aren’t we? I promise you I'm trying, just in a very different way.” She rolls down the stack of books, and quickly gives your leg a hug. “Truuuuust me, everything is going to work out.”
“Pardon me for not having much faith in that.” You say as you roll your eyes, and kick her back into the book pile with a gentle shake of your hoof. You’d like to crush her at this point, but she is unfortunately the catalyst, the whole link, to the chaotic harmonic flux. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to strengthen the castle defenses.”
“Oof! Hey, that was really mean. You shou-Wha?” Suddenly, Cozy puffed up with anger as she barked back at you, jumping off the book pile with a hop. “Hey! I thought you said we couldn’t use the staff!”
“I did? Oh, I meant YOU couldn’t use it.” You say, looking back and pointing at her. “The staff can still be used if used responsibly. I’m going to make minor upgrades to our defenses that shouldn’t stress its power. You just want to use it at your own will, which will, and I cannot stress how important this point is, BLOW US UP!” You shout back at her, sending her rolling back into the pile. “Now leave me be! There is work to be done.”
“Fine…” Cozy shouted back at you. Before you stepped out, however, you took a look back at her. Her eyes, glowing red, just staring back at you. You could see a faint smirk before she casually hops off the book pile once more and goes back to her more cutesy way of speaking as she asks a mindless pony drone to fetch her warm milk.
…There was just something you found utterly unsettling about her. She knew of all these tropes, but she doesn’t seem to understand the concept of this ‘Deus Ex Machina’.
Or maybe she does…
You’d need to find a way to deal with her. For now, you must make sure nothing else can go wrong. You’ve come too far to lose now.
You had been here for what felt like a long time, and yet, no time at all. As if very little time passed in one realm, but time ran for weeks for another.
“I can’t believe I let this happen. I had them, I had them right there! I could have blasted them right at the start. But oh no, I had to make sure Cozy was really really evil and not possessed or have a tragic origin. Nope, just an evil filly, through and through.” Dammit! She played you like a goddamn fiddle! And now…
“I screwed up! They actually won, they actually know how to win! Ngh… Ngh… Dammit, it really is my fault. The world is fucked! It’s fucked! Dammit! How?! Because I was an idiot, that’s how! Fuck… None of them stood a chance… I can’t even see them again, none of them. Not Diamond, not Chrysalis, Discord, Fluttershy… No one. I can’t save them, because I doomed them.” This utter void of darkness. Was this the true pony hell? Floating in an endless abyss?
You started to whimper, covering your face with your hooves in shame. “Dammit, why didn’t I pay attention? I didn’t just put one friend in danger, I did it to the damn world. I’m sorry. Please! I’m sorry! Anyone! Pony god? Celestia? Luna? Dammit, please, whatever divine force is out there, you gotta send me back somehow! Please! Please! I’ll do anything! I’ll give up whatever you want me to give up! Just, please!” You begged and pleaded into the void.
And there was nothing
Or… Was there?
Your cries seemed to be have become answered? You began to see the six elements of harmony appear around you. Not the ponies themselves, but just their elements. Then suddenly, you hear a voice come from behind you. “As much as you wish to save the world, this is not your story. But fear not, Anon, for this is not the end. You will return soon, and through you, you must unite the six who will bring Equestria back from the brink.”
Wha huh? You look back behind you. There it was, the sparkling being who lambasted you so long ago. Or was it? It was the same sparkling, but it was Twilight instead of Discord. “What? What are you talking about? You… You’re that spirit of harmony from before, aren’t you?”
The spirit nodded. “I am. And I can sense you have much to say. Though, I must tell you, you sadly don’t have time to say it. My time is short and I’ve used the last of my power to see you one last time.”
Oh, bullshit! “Oh hell no! Don’t come over here being cryptic. I knew you existed! So what gives?! Why aren’t you protecting Equestria? Where were you?! You can’t just show up while I’m dead and tell me it isn’t my story! I don’t give a damn about the ‘story’! Discord is the spirit of chaos, so you have to be even stronger than he is, right? Right?!”
But she just stood there, silent, as she pointed at the elements. They began to turn to stone, and shatter before you. But it didn’t seem to lead to the darkness you thought it would. Things began to brighten, as six new forms began to emerge. You couldn’t make them out, just their colors. Brown, orange, blue, another blue, pinkish purple, and sea green. They all shone around you. But… What was that all about? Why did it seem so familiar? “So, what’s this then? Why did the elements explode into-Hey?! What’s going on?!”
The spirit began to slowly disintegrate into dust. “For now, my time here is over. With the elements gone, six more must rise. I wish you well, Anon. And good luck.”
Good luck?! “Hey! What gives! You just got here and you’re already leaving?! Where’s the long talk about destiny?! Or better yet, why don’t you tell me what the fuck to do instead of being so damn cryptic! The world is at stake here, we don’t have-Gyah!” And with that, the rest of her exploded into a bright light before the ever expanse of darkness enveloped you, silencing your words.
Well, that was abrupt, on both counts.
“Hey, look! Zecora, yer potion is working!”
“Wow, all the crystal is actually sticking together this time!”
“This is it, if Tirek went out of his way to destroy it, then it must be the key to defeating him!”
“Uh, guys? That don’t look like any heart I’ve ever seen. How is this supposed to be the Crystal Heart?”
“Huh… Yeah, you’re right, Gallus. I went with my family once to the Crystal Empire to see it, and that doesn’t look anything like it. Kinda looks like a pony.”
“Yeah, it kinda does. Zecora, ya know what’s goin’ on here?”
“Well, indeed it does look like a foal. More importantly, it seems to contain a soul.”
“Woah, a soul? See, Gallus? That dream we had! It came true!”
“Sandbar, that dream told us something bad was gonna rise from the school, and that we had to be ready for it. That bad thing? A castle, and we weren’t ready for that.”
“Yeah, but that third thing, that power coming together! It has to be whoever-”
“It’s Anon.”
“What? What are ya talkin’ about, Scootaloo, that don’t look like him. Besides, didn’t Starlight say he just disappeared?”
“No, I think she’s right, Applebloom. See? Look at his face, I’d recognize that high and mighty look anywhere. But, ewww, it’s missing an eye.”
“Yeah, it’s also missing an ear, a tail, and the neck is kind of chipped. You sure that’s him?”
“Well, whoever it is, we can’t leave him like this! Zecora, can we help him?”
“The potion brewed does not just a puzzle solved, but it brings upon restoration once resolved.”
“What the hay does that mean?”
“Gyah! That’s what that means!”
“Ewww! It’s growing skin all of a sudden! And is that, is that the stuff under the skin!?”
“I think I’m gonna faint!”
“Me too!”
“Euugh!”
“Huh, hey, I think that is Anon. Woah, it is! Girls, hey! Wha? Why’d you all fall down?”
“Sandbar, if we hadn’t seen this guy pull some creepy body stuff with his magic before, I think I would have fainted. Seriously, it gave me nightmares for weeks. Got me over tight spaces though.”
“Indeed, the shards you believed to be the heart. It appears to have been Anon, blown apart.”
“Eugh…” You had such a headache. To you, it felt like weeks had passed. Maybe it was just a day or two? Who knows. The fact that the darkness seems to have gone away, and you were slowly starting to see… Wait, why were there lit torches? And some skulls about? Various potions everywhere. A giant cauldron at your side?! Were you in pony hell? Kinda mild to be honest. FUCK! YOU DID DIE! “AUUUGH!” You screamed out in shock before you suddenly felt a thud on your head, with everything suddenly spinning.
“Oh, oh no, his head fell off! Oh no, oh Celestia! We ended him the moment we brought him back! Oh, this isn’t cool, this isn’t cool at all!” someone yelled out in panic. Was that Sandbar? The hell?
Did he die too?
“Euuugh, his body is still moving. H-hold on…” Said another familiar voice. Gallus?
You realized you were really low to the ground for some reason, up until suddenly you began to rise up, feeling talons at the back of your head, as you suddenly found yourself staring into Gallus’s eyes. He looked quite disgusted. “Gallus? W-what’s going on?”
“Uhhhhhh, with you? No idea. But, uh, I kinda noticed you don’t have your horn. Is that bad?” Gallus said
…Shit… That’s right. Those bastards…
Wait… “I… Er, I… It’s hard to think right now. The last thing I really remember was fighting Tirek. Are we… Are we dead?”
“Uhh, I guess you were? Look, we don’t even really understand what happened ourselves. Counselor Starlight said some guy named Tirek took over the town. Things got really bad. And considering you’re not the Crystal Heart, I’m just gonna take a guess you fought the guy and lost.” Gallus said, still looking at you oddly, at such an odd angle. He also didn't seem too surprised you had died. Did you even die?
Wut? “Why would I be the Crystal Heart?”
“Well, when me and Sandbar had this crazy dream, we tried to get to the school to warn you, but it was way too late, the castle already appeared. Everything went nuts, mass evacuations and stuff. While that was going on, we found your bag, and all these glass shards were trying to get to it. Sandbar thought our dream was telling us Tirek somehow stole this thing called the ‘Crystal Heart’ and broke it like this other dark guy tried to do. He also figured you were holding off the guy the best you could, and that our dream was telling us to get all the shards, recreate the heart, and kick the guy’s butt with it. But then Counselor Starlight got us with her magic and made us leave. Long story short, we split off after everycreature went to go to this mansion place, and tried to get more shards while Applebloom and her friends went to Zecora to make a restoration potion. And well, this is where we get to the bad part. There was this barrier, right? Couldn’t exactly get through to get more shards. And since you turned out not to be the heart… Well…” Suddenly, you felt your head shift as you found yourself looking at your body. It began to wave back at you. “We didn’t exactly manage to put you all together.”
…Oh good god… “I-is that my body?”
“Yeeeaaah, it is. I'm guessing this is some chaos thing, right? How’s your vision?” Gallus asked.
“I feel like I can only see through my left eye.” You told him.
“That’s because that’s all you got right now. Not gonna lie, it’s all pretty creepy.” Gallus replied.
“With his eyes not a match, for now, I will place an eyepatch.” Zecora suddenly came from your blind side, as you feel something snap onto your head.
Euuugh… This was humiliating and awful. You'd celebrate that you fucking survived, but you needed more information on what was going on. How did you even survive anyway? Unless...
Hm, that was it, wasn't it? Chaos cannot destroy chaos. It didn't destroy the Storm King in that form, it didn't destroy Jimmy, and luckily for you, it didn't destroy you either. Well, it did, but you didn't die. But with that figured out, that left what was going on with current events. “Well, it’s at least being figured out by Twilight and stuff, right? Have they worked out a plan?”
Suddenly, Gallus went silent, looking away. You shifted your eye to Sandbar, then Zecora as best you could. They didn’t look too happy either. Oh no…
“Yeah… About that, they never came back when they went to the castle. It’s super bad, and we super don’t know what to do. Everycreature was heading to your friend’s mansion before we split off. Y’know, Queen Chrysalis?” Sandbar said in a somber tone.
Chrysalis? Shit… It really was that bad, you didn't realize that was the mansion Gallus mentioned. You never thought she’d take in the townsponies like that. You suddenly felt your head being lifted off of Gallus’s talons as it was brought to your body, being plopped onto your neck. Zecora then spoke. “As long as you’re careful, your head should hold. It will fall again should you be too bold.”
“Thanks, Zecora…” But that was it, wasn’t it? Discord, Twilight, Fluttershy. Everyone who could fight Tirek and Cozy off, they were gone. And that dream you had? Was it a dream? Was it really the spirit of harmony? What did it even mean? “Chrysalis, huh? I’m glad she was able to get everycreature to safety.” You notice the CMC on the floor, knocked out. You had to guess your restoration must have freaked them out. You remembered that one time Applebloom fell unconscious just from you missing an eye. Whatever they saw when you came back, it must have been gross. “So, what do we do now?”
“Oh… That’s not good. Anon, you don’t have a plan?” Sandbar asked, shocked that you seemed out of ideas.
So much for being the ‘Hero Colt’. “No, and without my horn, I’m… Useless.” You look over at your bag. Even with the wings and Starlight Hook, there really wasn’t much you could do.
“Yeah, that definitely isn’t good. What about the other princesses, think they can do something?” Gallus asked.
“I don’t think so. Don’t you remember what Counselor Starlight said? Nopony can get near the town without becoming bad…” Suddenly, Sandbar looked down, tears suddenly forming in his eyes. “Like my family did.”
“Yeah, but that’s the weird part. We went near the town and you were fine, unless that barrier was stopping it too.” Gallus said, befuddled by the whole thing.
Sandbar just sat there, he didn’t even bother shrugging. “Yeah… Don’t know. All I know is I wanna get back in there, save my family, save the town. But… How?”
How? How… The spirit mentioned this wasn’t your story. Was that a hint? Was she telling you that you alone couldn’t save the day? And what about those ‘new’ elements, what was with that? You looked at Gallus and Sandbar, and you could feel something spark in your brain. But what was it? “...You guys mentioned you had dreams, right? The same dreams?”
“Yeah? Why?” Gallus asked, confused. “You had one too?”
“Sorta… It came to me while I was broken into pieces.” You mentioned.
“How did that even happen? Man, I know I wouldn’t be coming back if I got shattered the way you did.” Sandbar mentioned, utterly confused as to what could have even happened to you.
"Tirek got the drop on me and my dad. He used chaos magic to turn me into glass and shatter me to bits. I guess I really am a being of chaos after all, since chaos doesn't seem to be able to destroy chaos." You told them.
"This Tirek guy sounds really tough... And harsh." Sandbar said in a low, worried voice. "You don't think there's a way to beat him?"
“Well, for one, it isn’t just Tirek we have to be worried about.” You said.
“Cozy Glow?! What?! No way, Gallus, that doesn’t make any sense!” Sandbar said in disbelief.
“Actually, he’s right. But how did you know, Gallus?” He figured it out pretty easily, it seemed.
Gallus sat down on the floor crossing his arms as he closed his eyes. “Figured something was up with her. That dream, the castle appearing at the school, and she never showed back up after it all happened. That thing with that Storm King guy? That’s one thing. But some old villain guy interested enough to use her to show up in Ponyville and take over? Yeah, that’s too much. It doesn’t make any sense for a guy that’s locked up to even find out about her like that. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but I slowly started to realize it when it made more sense that she had to have contacted him to make it all work. And now I know it’s true. Darn it!” Gallus slammed a clenched talon at the side of Zecora’s cauldron. “I knew it! My griffon instincts were telling me we were getting a raw deal and I didn’t listen to it! Ugh, it was so obvious!”
“...” Sandbar suddenly slumped down again, bringing his hooves to his head. “Man, I never knew things could get this bad.”
“But Anon mentioned he had a dream, perhaps it is to work as a team?” Zecora asked in rhyme as she looked over at you.
…wut? “Uh, I think? D-do you know what my dream was?”
Zecora shrugged. “I do not, but it seems I hit the mark. My rhymes do often find the light when shot in the dark.”
…That rhyme felt like it was reaching. But… Maybe that was it. A team?
“So, was that what your dream was? Working as a team?” Gallus asked.
“Wait, Anon, did your dream have a really sparkly version of Headmare Twilight?” Sandbar asked.
…Oh… Oh shit. “Yeah… Did yours?”
Sandbar nodded, suddenly filled with hope. “It did, like, it totally did! Gallus, see what I mean? Dream Headmare Twilight is real! And was trying to help all of us! So, Anon, what did she tell you? It had to be a way to win, right?”
So, they saw her too. So it wasn’t just a crazy dream? Did she die then? That’s what it was, right? She used the last of her power to tell you what you needed to win. It was why she didn’t have any time to have a discussion with you. But then, what was it about? “I think it was. She mentioned something about new elements rising. I saw these colored figures. They were blue, another blue, kinda like Gallus is looking there. And one was sea gr-Oh… Oh no.” In any other fiction, this revelation would have come at the climax. But right now? Wait… WHAT?! THEY WERE THE NEW ELEMENTS OF HARMONY?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
“Anon, you alright?” Sandbar said as he slowly gave you a gentle shake. “What about the new elements?”
This… This was a thing, wasn’t it? That’s why she gave you that dream. You really had no part to play other than to gather the elements. But, without the horn, and without Discord, how the hell were you supposed to do that? How would you get to the dragon lands, Yakyakistan, Mt. Aris, and the hive before Tirek and Cozy Glow royally fuck things up?
Even with this information, you were all fucked anyway.
They mentioned a barrier. And if it was made with the staff, then without a way to get in, there was no way to even get to Tirek.
Everything just seemed impossible. There was no hope.
That is… Until you heard a knocking.
“Zecora? Zecora, are you there? Please, we lost some foals and a young griffon and we don’t know where else they could be. We know Applebloom apprentices with you and were hoping she came here. Please, please, answer?” That voice, it was Starlight.
“They are here, my door is open, come end your plight. But be warned, you’re in for quite a sight.” Zecora said as she simply observed the door.
“Look, I don’t mean to sound rude, but I don’t even know what that means other than the door b-b-b…” Starlight slowly stepped through the door to look inside. And when she took a moment to look around the room, she suddenly locked eyes with you, able to recognize you despite your missing parts. “Anon?”
You slowly wave to her. “Um, hey, Starlight. Um…” Oh god, she had tears in her eyes all of a sudden. Did she… Did she think you had died or something? Well, you can’t blame her, you thought you died. “Hi? Um, nice to see you.”
Her lower lip was quivering, it was almost like she wanted to say something. But instead, you suddenly felt yourself be pulled right towards her as she positioned herself for a hug. Unfortunately, the pull was so hard, your head fell off and rolled along the ground as your body was caught within her legs. “Anon! I-I… I can’t believe it! I thought… They told me… They told me they destroyed you. I thought you were gone a…W-wha?” When Starlight pulled away some to look at you, she noticed something important missing. She suddenly screamed loudly, and fell backwards, knocked out by shock.
“Well, that happened…” Yeah, this might be a problem. Your head coming off this easily isn't exactly on the helpful side.
“Starlight?! What happe-” Suddenly, for some insane reason, Shining Armor was randomly with her as he stepped in. And when he looked at your headless body waving at him, then looked further to see your head, he suddenly let out the girliest scream ever before falling down, knocked out.
“Okay then. We might need to figure out a way to get Anon’s head to stick on a little better, because apparently ponies can't handle anything worse than barf or something.” Gallus said, embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his head. “Zecora, do you got any potion that can help?”
“When it comes to my potions, my many brews. For a situation like this, I’ll just make it work with some of my stronger glues.” Zecora stated as she walked over to her shelf of potions.
And so you all set out to Chrysalis’s manor. All except for Zecora, who chose to stay behind to work on any potions that might be able to help the cause. It seems you weren’t the only one left in the dark, no one knew what the current situation was, something Starlight was more than willing to tell now that everyone was safe.
The staff was damaged, by Chrysalis no less. Though, her way of attack is what cost the five other elements, including Fluttershy. Something you can’t imagine Discord is taking well, since he was the only one Chrysalis could rescue. Those assholes apparently erected a barrier soon after, that was probably the barrier Gallus and Sandbar mentioned.
Chrysalis…
It sounded like she locked herself in her room shortly after, apparently because she thought you died. Damn, you remembered how she reacted before you fully succumbed to Discord’s ‘poison’ long ago, she lost herself. No doubt whatever power she mustered, it was true love, enough to give some hope to the situation.
“So mah sister… She ain’t comin’ back?” Applebloom said as her eyes began to water.
“Rarity…” Sweetie Belle let out, looking down miserably.
“So, that’s what happened? T-there had to be a better way!” Scootaloo shouted, shocked that Rainbow Dash and the others were taken by the influence.
“At the time? There may have not been…” Starlight said, frowning as she looked ahead, keeping her eyes open for any danger as her horn lit up the path ahead. “I think they're using Twilight’s harmony and Discord’s chaos, as one, making it into a new powerful magic. A chaotic harmonic flux, something that was thought to be impossible to create, not to mention highly dangerous. They’re using Anon’s horn to filter its power so they don’t lose control of it. Tirek is crazy to use this magic without extensive testing, we have no idea what the consequences are in the long run. But it doesn’t matter, because he has enough control of it to alter the minds of ponies who are affected by it. It’s pretty clear that’s how he plans to take over Equestria. We only have one chance to stop him thanks to Chrysalis.”
Huh, so things weren’t totally lost. If the staff is damaged, and Chrysalis has become some powerful super being, then all you had to do to get her out of her funk is to reveal you’re alive and you both could get some good ole-fashioned revenge. You REALLY wanted to tear Cozy Glow a new one, and not in a kinky way. Seems you wouldn’t need the new elements after all. “Okay, then the only thing holding us back is the barrier, right? I mean, if the staff is damaged, Tirek and Cozy Glow can’t have that much power. I remember when I wrecked the Storm King’s hand when it was fused to the staff, he couldn’t shoot that city-obliterating laser. So it should be a sure thing if we can get in there.”
“Well, that’s where I come in.” Shining said as he gave a tap of his armor. “Remember this, Anon?”
Huh? Oh geez, it was his anti-magic armor… Wait… “Oh, geez! That’s amazing! So you’re gonna use that to get past the barrier?” Goddamn, Shining coming in with the clutch victory? Fuck, everyone got busy while you were ‘dead’, they already had the solution.
“Yeah!... After we convince Chrysalis to power it back up. Sorta made the mistake of making it too weak. Eheh….” Shining said with a nervous chuckle. “But, hey, shouldn’t be too hard now that you’re back, right? We’ll totally have Equestria saved before Hearthwarming is even over.” Shining seemed pretty nervous, even a little wracked. Did it have to do with Cadance? You wondered if something happened to her.
“It shouldn’t be, but…” This was also something you couldn’t rush. You didn’t know how much of a window of opportunity you had, but if Chrysalis secluded herself like that after what happened, you wanted to spend a little time with her and make sure she was okay. “Let me just spend some time with her, see how she feels. Dad too, can’t imagine he’s been doing too well. Diamond isn’t in the know, right?”
Starlight shook her head. “No, she just thinks you’re around somewhere, thinking of a way to save the world. She never gave up hope.”
Thatta girl! “Then, hey, this shouldn’t be that hard.” You look back at the girls with a confident smile. “Don’t worry, girls, we’ll get your sisters back, no problem.”
“Y-you think?” Sweetie asked, still looking rather miserable.
“What if you have to fight them though? Can you imagine fighting Rainbow Dash if she’s being controlled? She won’t show any mercy at all!” Scootaloo let out, frightened by the thought.
Wut? “W-what do you mean by that?”
“She means that if Tirek and Cozy Glow are that evil, and I know they are, they’ll make sure to use them as their personal guards, just so we don’t try to fight.” Starlight said.
“Ngh… And he has Cadance too… B-but, hey! Don’t forget, this armor can cancel magic! If Chrysalis is gonna power it up, then it should be enough to break the mind control on anypony who gets close. So, it still shouldn’t be an issue. W-what are we even worried about? We got this.” And yet, he didn’t seem to have full confidence in his words. But that did reveal what happened to Cadance.
“Woah, wait, They got Princess Cadance?!” Sandbar said in shocked surprise
“...You guys got waaaayyy too many princesses, you know that? Either way, if this armor is really that good, then it sounds like we can just run right up to ‘em and… Well, I better not say, I can hear Headmare Twilight getting on my case about it” Gallus said with a shrug. “Anyway, I want a piece of them both. Nocreature messes with my friends, or my professors, or Sandbar’s family, and anycreature else I missed.”
Starlight pulls out a radio from her cloak as she looks back at Gallus with a stern expression. “You won’t be going anywhere near Ponyville. None of you are. That includes you, Anon. We’re going to assess the situation, and handle it ourselves.”
Wut? “Woah, hold on. Why not?!”
“Because we almost lost you!... And I won’t lose you, nor the crusaders, the students, nopony. I mean that about Chrysalis too, we’re gonna get in there one way or another, and rescue everypony trapped by that mind control.” Starlight shouted at you. She poured her emotions into that. You were starting to see that you ‘dying’ wasn’t just the fact that you died, but it made it clear that anyone could if things went south.
“But, Counselor Starlight! We have to get in there to help! We all had this… No, the spirit of harmony called us all for a reason! We gotta do something, even if it is super dangerous!” Sandbar said, determined like any other, to fight for his home.
“Spirit of… What?” Starlight looked back at you. “Anon… Wait…” Starlight then looked back at Shining Armor, then back at Sandbar. “Was the spirit a sparkly version of Discord?”
Sandbar nodded. “Well, it was actually a sparkly version of Headmare Twilight. Anon saw her too, so did Gallus.”
“...And Shining, when you mentioned the other students’ dreams, you said they saw something like that?” Starlight asked him.
“Yeah, they didn’t mention it being the Spirit of Harmony though. What’s going on, Starlight?” Shining was confused “How did everycreature have the same dream?”
“They didn’t, they had visions. So it’s real…” Starlight said as she looked back at you. “...But, it doesn’t seem right. What exactly were in those visions? She didn’t mean for you to actually get involved, right?”
“Starlight, she said that the students, are like, the new elements of harmony.” You said, just blurting it out.
“WHAT?!” Everyone, and I mean, everyone just stopped in surprise.
“Are you serious?! That means we literally HAVE to put them in harm’s way. Anon, please tell me you’re kidding.” Starlight said, clearly concerned. “I don’t think I can deal with a prophecy like that.”
You shook your head. “I’m not. I don’t know what to make of it myself.” In fact, as you give it more thought, the plan sounds like it’d work too well with the armor being able to nullify the opposition. There had to be a catch. “But, I dunno, we didn’t need the elements to stop the staff before. And if it’s already damaged, then we should be in the clear. The only problem is Cozy Glow, she orchestrated the entire plan and she may already have thought of a backup…”
Sandbar stared forward, then looked to Starlight. “...If we gotta fight for our home and our family, then I wanna do it. I’m not afraid.”
“Wish there was some kind of compensation for this, but whatever, I’m willing too. Problem is, what about the others? Don’t we need all the elements?” Gallus asked, until he realized something. He then looked at Shining. “Wait, you mentioned the others’ dreams? How would you know that?”
“Oh, that? Well… Considering there were four others, I guess that means your friends are already at the manor. But I’m with Starlight on this one, this is way too dangerous for guys like you. You gotta let us handle it.” Shining told him.
“What do you mean? If our friends are already here, then that means we gotta help! It’s destiny! Right?” Sandbar asked, becoming more eager to help than ever.
“He’s kinda got a point, Starlight. Whenever somethin’ bad really happened, it’s always solved by mah sister and her friends. It all sounds pretty weird to me, but if they're all having weird dreams? Yup, that means they gotta help.” Applebloom said.
“Yeeeah, I don’t like it as much as you guys do. But everycreature having the same dream is kinda hard to ignore. I think Applebloom is right.” Scootaloo added.
“Starlight?” Shining said, looking back at her, as she seemed to be buckling under pressure.
“...Starlight. It’s the truth, and if it has to happen, I want to be there too, I want to fight to the end. Because, well, if we lose, then it won’t matter who stayed behind or not, they’ll take over everything and it’ll all be for nothing.” You tell her. You had to stop deluding yourself. This wasn’t your old world, this was just Cozy Glow using her understanding of it to further her plans. That's why, in the end, even if the plan was utterly sound, a climax such as this requires the finale clencher such as the elements.
“...Considering how easily they took Cadance. I-I guess, if we lose, they’d even take Flurry Heart…” Shining said in a quivering low voice. “Ma-maybe…”
Starlight looked at all of you, her face contorting as she thought harder and harder, until she finally let out an aggravated sigh. “Well, even if I said no, I have a feeling I wouldn’t be able to stop it from happening. Fine… If anypony wants to volunteer, then I can’t stop you. But we can only send those who aren’t affected by the influence. We’ll work that out when we get to the manor, as I think I have a way of testing that through Discord. Anypony who gets affected, even myself, has to stay behind.”
“Well, I know I won’t be affected.” Shining said with a smirk as he tapped his armor. “I’m ready to save my family.”
“Well, uh, I’m not affected either. I got really close to the barrier and nothing happened to me.” Sandbar said.
“What, really?” Starlight said, utterly surprised by Sandbar’s words.
“Yeah, I have a feeling I have the Spirit of Harmony to thank for that. Totally awesome if that’s what it is.” Sandbar said with a sheepish yet confident smile.
“Man, if there’s gonna be that many of us, then they’re toast.” Gallus said with a confident smirk, even flexing an arm. “Element of harmony, huh? Sure, why not, if that’s how we save everycreature, then I’m down. Only thing we got to figure out after that is if that automatically gets me a passing grade or not.”
“Hey, and don’t forget, we’re here too!” Scootaloo cheers.
“I may not be able to do a lot of magic, but I’ll do my-” But Starlight cuts off Sweetie Belle the moment she began to speak.
“Not you three. Sorry, girls, but I know for sure you three would be affected. I can’t let you come.” Starlight told them.
“Wha?! How can ya think that?” Applebloom asked in a demanding tone.
This time, Shining Armor began to speak. “Because that influence works by making your love and want to save everypony into making you care about only that foal, Cozy Glow. Unless you already know how to deal with that, then you’d only succumb. Plus, you’re all way too young for this kind of thing. We need you to stay behind while we take care of it.”
“...But…” The crusaders all said at once. “Why does Anon get to go then? Didn’t everypony agree it won’t matter if we lose?”
“Because I won’t be affected, and I know what kind of game plan they’re pulling. I need to be there.” You tell them. “I need you three to understand. This isn’t a game. I really could have died had Tirek not used chaos magic on me. They’re playing to win. So unless you can tell me how you could add to the team without endangering yourselves, then I agree with Starlight and Shining Armor.”
Scootaloo was going to open her mouth first, but she relented. The others stayed quiet, but Scootaloo gave you those puppy dog ‘we’re a team’ eyes.
You sighed. “Scoots. I know, trust me, I know. Please understand, this is really serious. I know nopony wants to hear these words. But one of us, or more than one of us, could end up dying. Please, if something does happen, just take care of Dad for me.”
Scootaloo gulped, wanting to say something, but she relented and hung her head down. “Okay…”
Starlight just stayed silent for a moment, she didn’t like the situation at all. She began to realize what you said was truth, someone could end up dying. It didn’t deter her, but it certainly made the situation so much worse in her head. She recomposed herself, and began to speak into the radio. “Starlight to Trixie, Starlight to Trixie. Are you there? over.”
“Starlight! Finally! Can we go back to the manor now?!” Trixie yelled through the radio in exasperation. Wow, didn’t even ask if everyone was okay.
“Actually, yes, you can. What happened? You sound like something attacked you, over.” Starlight said.
“I did get attacked! A giant snapdragon slapped down Scrappy and ate me!” Trixie shouted.
“Ate you?! You’re in the snapdragon?!” Starlight said in shock.
“No! It spat me out after two seconds, maybe less.” Trixie said.
Starlight sighed in relief. “Okay… So, what happened then? Over.”
“What do you think? It ate Big Mac!” Trixie shouted once again.
“WHAT?!” Starlight shouted as all of you reacted in shock. “Did it spit him out too?!”
“No! Not at first. It was chewing on him, Starlight, chewing on him! Do you know how insulting that is?!” Trixie said as she began to sound more angry.
“...What? Insulting? What does that have to do with him being eaten?! Did Scrappy at least save him?!” Starlight shouted back into the radio.
“Hmph, as if I’d let him have the chance. Can you imagine, that stupid plant finding that earth pony more delicious than me? Oh no, I went back in there and turned that thing inside out! How dare it spit me out without even properly tasting me! Me! Do you know how insulting it is to be found repugnant and yet some farm pony some kind of sweet treat? Oh no, no no no. The GREAT and POWERFUL and DELICIOUSLY NUTRITIOUS TRRRRIXIE made sure that snapdragon isn’t going to be able to taste anything for quite some time.” Trixie said, with all the anger she could muster.
Starlight sighed, grumbling. “Right… So, yeah, just come back to the manor, and let Big Mac and Scrappy know everycreature is alright.”
“Starlight…” Trixie said.
“What?” Starlight asked.
“You forgot to say ‘over’, over.” Trixie said.
Starlight narrowed her eyes, clenching her teeth tightly. “Over…”
“There you go. Can’t have proper radio chatter without using the correct callsign… Thingies.” Trixie said in a matter of factly way. “Anyway, see you there!”
“Wow, even in a time of crisis, Trixie is still Trixie, huh?” You asked rhetorically.
You were finally here, ready to calm Chrysalis’s heart.
“Woah, this is her house? Man, hide and seek would be a total nightmare in this place.” Sandbar said, amazed at the massive size of Chrysalis’s home.
“How hasn’t Tirek found this place yet? It’s kinda hard to miss.” Gallus mentioned as he flew up a bit to see how tall the manor truly is.
“He’s not exactly looking. As long as that barrier is up, I have a feeling he isn’t willing to do any exploring. Anyway, I need everycreature but Shining to follow me and I can get you all situated. Anon, I assume you know where Chrysalis’s room is, right?” Starlight asked as took a look around, probably to keep an eye out for Trixie and the others.
“I do… I’m ready for this.” Chrysalis…
“Alright, let me just get the door and…” But as Starlight opened the door, you could already hear the sound of someone getting their body bashed in, it sounded familiar even. Starlight immediately closed the door and looked back at all of you with wide, frightened eyes. “Okay, she might not be upstairs… Um, I… I really hope that’s Discord she’s beating on. Erm, Anon?”
“I got it, I got it!” Shit! Oh god, Starlight may have not been thinking it, but you just had this horrid feeling everyone inside the manor was bloodied and dead. Fuck, FUCK! No no no!
“Anon, let me come with you!” Scootaloo ran to your side, offering her aid.
“No, Scoots. Let me handle this, it’s too dangerous. I’m the only one who can calm her down.” You said as you quickly opened the door.
“Bu-hey!” But as Scootaloo tried to rush in with you, Starlight pulled her back as you pushed on inside.
Wait…
No blood…
No bodies…
Just… Henry’s voice? From Goodfellas?
The TV was on rather loud, and it sounded like it was at the part that Billy Bats just got beaten up.
Why was it so loud? Why was the movie even on? Did someone get curious and turn on the movie without realizing what they were doing?
You slowly venture into the living room. There was no reason for Chrysalis to be watching it at this time, she’s seen the movie a million times and would definitely not be in the mood for it.
But then you heard someone talking.
Not someone.
Two voices…
“Well, there’s enough foreshadowing in this scene to tell me they’re going to face the consequences of their actions. Especially Tommy.” Said… Wait…
No, it couldn’t be…
“How did you figure that out? When I watched up to this point, I thought it cemented that he was an unstoppable force, primed for leadership.” That other voice… Chrysalis? Was she watching the movie with…
“Billy Bats was a ‘made man’, as they say. Someone is going to realize that he’s gone, and someone from that bar is going to remember Tommy and his reaction. As we have seen so far, the mob are cutthroat and ruthless. Tommy is too much of a loose cannon to last that much longer” Tempest? That was her, her voice was coming from the other side of the couch. She let out a slight chuckle. “What’s wrong? Upset that I spoiled things for myself?”
“Hm, I think I am. I never thought I’d see the day when somepony like Twilight Sparkle and her naivete would have been appreciated.” Chrysalis said with a slight grumble. “It was more fun, at least.”
“If you think I don’t want to watch the movie with you anymore, then that is further from the truth. This isn’t like a typical book or film a pony would make, where it’s always the same story and outcome. I actually want to see how everything plays out, I want to see how these humans lived. You got me, Chrysalis, I actually am enjoying myself. Once we save Equestria, if you’ll have me, I’d want to watch some more human films with you.” Tempest said. She actually seemed pretty impressed with ‘Goodfellas’. Damn, you didn’t expect that.
“Hm…” Chrysalis said with a low grunt.
“Hmmm, I know. I didn’t mean to sound like I was replacing him. I’m sorry, I’m still learning to be ‘normal’. To let go of some of my more… unwelcome tendencies.” Tempest said.
“Normal is overrated, I chose to do this activity with you because I find you interesting.” Chrysalis said before letting out a scoff. “And no, I didn’t think you were trying to replace him. No, the only ‘replacing’ that will be done is removing one of my paintings for Tirek’s head mounted on my wall. That big head of his takes up a lot of space, you see.”
“Considering the scene we just saw, we could just beat him into pulp and stuff him into your car, have a scenic drive to a nice swamp to throw him in.” Tempest said.
“Ah ha, now there’s a thought.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle. But then suddenly, she just went silent.
“...I promise, we’ll avenge him. No one can say he wouldn’t want that.” Tempest said to reassure her.
“...It’s not that. I suddenly feel as if… Hm, I don’t know… Even with all this talk of revenge, I think I can understand something that purple princess would say. ‘It won’t bring him back’, I can hear her saying that to me. I know it wouldn’t, and I don’t exactly care. And yet, it’s almost as if I can sense him as well, and he’s telling me all this hatred I still feel; that I need to let it go.” Chrysalis said, her words stilted. “I can’t shake it.”
“Hm, perhaps some sort of feeling of guilt? No, that’s not it. Mercy? But why? Considering what they did, mercy is too good for them.” Tempest stated.
“I know that… That’s why I can’t explain why I sudd-” But Chrysalis stopped, and she began to rise up from the couch to look behind it. When she did, her eyes widened when she spotted you, alive, and mostly intact. “Oh, I think I know what it is. I’ve gone insane. Even more than before.” She sounded so calm all of a sudden
“What? What do you mean?” Tempest asked.
“I see Anon behind the couch. But he clearly can’t be because he’s gone. And now I’m even more confused, I can feel my eyes watering.” Chrysalis said, with a slightly insane chuckle, as her eyes began to tear up.
“Chrysalis, just re-” But as Tempest rose up to see what she was looking at, she saw you, and went wide eyed. “I’m going to tell you, Chrysalis. Unless we’re under a spell, we can’t be sharing the same hallucination. Does he look, well, like he’s missing some parts?”
You waved at them as they spoke. You wanted to say something, and yet, you wanted to say hello to them at the right moment.
“Yes, yes he does. An ear? He has an eyepatch of some sort. Tail is gone… And why does his neck look like it’s been covered in sap?” Chrysalis asked, as her brain wasn’t able to comprehend what she was looking at.
You then smiled wide at the both of them. “Yo, it isn’t a hallucination. I’m back. Have you been okay, Chrysalis?”
Chrysalis suddenly froze, then looked towards Tempest, who sported the same shocked expression. “Is this possible?”
“It could be, or it could be a golem created by Tirek to scout us out.” Tempest’s eyes suddenly sharpened as she looked at you. “You almost had me. But I don’t think the real Anon, the real you, would be so nonchalant.”
“What?!” You suddenly pouted. “Damn, Tempest. I was only goofing around a bit, I just kinda wanted to set up the scene. You know, for my comeback.”
“And why should I believe that?” Tempest asked, still inquisitive of your reappearance.
“It’s him…” Chrysalis said with a sigh as she hopped off the couch.
“What? How can you be so sure?” Tempest asked.
“Because, he’s being what humans refer to as, an ‘asshole’. It’s pretty much how we first met.” Chrysalis said with a sigh as she approached you. She suddenly seemed like her old self, not even surprised that you were back. But then she slowly put her hoof along your chin, moving it from side to side. You could feel how shaky her hoof was, how tense it felt. “How?...”
“Well… Tirek pretty much fucked up. He obliterated me with chaos magic. And my theory is that chaos can’t destroy chaos. It’s why I didn’t destroy the Storm King initially, and why that nuke you fired at Jimmy from way back didn’t destroy him. I got lucky, basically. Um, erm, but as you can see, I wasn’t exactly able to pull myself back together. To tell you the truth, it was the Cutie Mark Crusaders and some of my school friends who managed to bring me back, with the help of Zecora of course. So, yeah, erm… I’m ready to rip them to shreds.” You said with an awkward chuckle.
Chrysalis looked back at Tempest with a stern look. “I can trust you not to spread any rumors, right?”
Tempest nodded “I won’t say a word. But I will hug him next.”
Chrysalis grumbled as she looked back at you. “Right… I guess I’m actually that obvious now.”
Wait, wut? Was she going to…?
Chrysalis reached out and brought you close as she sat down to hug you. It was a gentle hug, and she wasn’t crying, she just sounded deadpan despite how affectionate her hug felt. “This is the second time I’ve nearly lost you, you know that, right? Do I need to put you on a leash?”
You just gently cuddled onto her. “Nah… I know, I screwed up by not using my magic when I had it. But it isn’t over yet, Chrysalis, we will obliterate them. Promise.”
Chrysalis hid a smile as she continued to hug you. “I was going for ‘eviscerate’, but obliteration is good too. So then, Anon, taking the citizen route despite what happened?”
“You know it. We saved Equestria before, we can do it again. Our home timeline this time” You tell her.
“Hm, I almost wish you wouldn’t come with us. But I can tell you already realize this is our last stand. Equestria’s last stand. I’ll never say this again, but I am honestly worried… No… Scared that even if we win, I might lose you again. It almost makes me want to keep you here. But from my understanding, you’ve made quite a human tactician out of that filly. We’ll need you in case something is beyond our scope.” Chrysalis said, almost sorrowfully.
“I understand, and I’m ready to fight. In fact, we actually have a way past the barrier.” You say as you move back a bit to look at her with a confident smile. But she actually seemed pretty confused.
“You do? That’s a coincidence, we also have a way past the barrier.” Chrysalis stated.
Wut? “You do? Oh, right, you probably have some spare anti-magic material from your throne hidden somewhere, right?”
“Er, no. Actually, an old acquaintance is resting below. He has the power to completely bypass the barrier, allowing us to attack while they’re weak.” Chrysalis said as she looked down the living room towards the entrance to her underground basement before slowly letting you go.
“Old acquaintance?” You asked. Who had the ability to bypass that barrier? Who did Chrysalis know that could do such a thing?
“She means Neighsay. We ran into him on our way to town. And despite him rubbing everyone the wrong way, he’s agreed to use his magical artifact to get us past the barrier.” Tempest said.
Wut?! “Seriously? He’s here?!” You look over at Chrysalis. “And he’s seriously going to help us? What happened to that hate boner he has towards anything non-pony?”
“He still has it. But these are desperate times, Anon. He understands what is at stake. But now I’m curious, how ever did you gain the ability to bypass the barrier?” Chrysalis asked.
You suddenly relented as your ear folded back. “Well, y’know, considering what you just said. Erm, you’re willing to let Shining Armor in the house, right? Because, uh, we know what’s at stake, right? He’s got anti-magic armor used from your throne we need powered up to really rail Tirek and Cozy Glow’s magic. He kinda had his guys experiment on it so much that it's pretty much useless right now” You tell her.
Chrysalis groaned as she rolled her eyes. “Of course, leave it to that ignorant dolt to ruin MY nice things. I’d actually be angry if we didn’t already have a way in and…” Suddenly, Chrysalis began to smirk rather cruelly. “You said Shining Armor?”
You nodded. “Erm, yeah. You’re not gonna rip him apart, are you?” Oh geez. Okay, so the armor was a bust. Relax, Anon, it seemed you still had a way to get to Tirek. Now? You just needed to make sure Chrysalis doesn’t rip apart Shining Armor.
Chrysalis raised her hoof and began to gently pat your head. “On the contrary. We have our victory assured. Don’t you remember? Yes… As much as I hate to remember it, it was him and his wife that managed to defeat me and my entire hive with some sort of spell that expanded beyond Canterlot. Don’t you see? We bring them into the castle, they cast that spell, we save Equestria and can get to the chopping.” Chrysalis looked beyond you and pointed towards her entrance hall. “Are they outside? Oh, let the dears in, Anon. I can’t wait to put our differences aside so we can get to crushing our foes.”
…Shit…
You relented so hard that even Chrysalis noticed. “Anon? Why aren’t you fetching them? Just because I…” Chrysalis stopped herself, and sighed. “Or perhaps that is it. No, let me do it myself. You don’t deserve to be treated like a peon, doing what I always tell you to do. You’re better than that.”
You’d love to hear those words if that was the reason you actually relented. “Um, actually. It’s just Shining Armor.”
Chrysalis suddenly became confused. “What do you mean by that? That idiot would never leave his wife behind on a day like this.”
You gulped. ”Well, erm, she kinda ended up succumbing to that spell that affected the other ponies. And she’s, er, apparently in the town, right now.”
Chrysalis’s eye twitched for a moment before she suddenly exploded in anger. “WHY?! WHY?! WHY IS IT AT A TIME WHEN VICTORY SHOULD BE ASSURED, DOES THAT BUFFOON STILL SOMEHOW FIND A WAY TO INFURIATE ME?! ALL HE HAD TO DO IS SECURE HIS WIFE, AND OF COURSE, HE CAN’T EVEN DO THAT! HOW WAS HE THE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD?! HOW IS HE A PRINCE?! HOW HAS SHE NOT LEFT HIM YET?!”
You shifted your eyes towards Tempest for a moment, frozen from Chrysalis’s awkward yelling. All she could do is shrug at you. You then look back at the raging Chrysalis, and tried to speak to her. “Y-yeah, I get it, eheheh. But he still might be useful. I mean, I was told the staff is broken, right? We can take them down without the spell.”
Chrysalis stopped, then looked at you with annoyance, growling as she spoke. “...It doesn’t take away how absolutely infuriating that stallion is.”
“Temper yourself, Chrysalis. It looks like we’re going to be planning the attack soon, you’ll need to be calm if we’re going to come up with a battle plan.” Tempest reminded her.
Chrysalis stayed silent a moment more, then looked back at her. “You’re right, he’s not worth my wrath anyway. We have bigger fish to fry. We don’t have time to dawdle. I’ll go fetch the cat and the chancellor from the basement. Finish your small talk with Anon, let in the fool, fetch that other fool, and gather in my room.” Chrysalis said as she looked back down at you. She hesitated once more, and brought you in for another gentle hug.
As much as you appreciated the fact she was showing affection, considering the prophecy, she needed to bring up four more to the planning. “Chrysalis, erm. Some of my friends are down in the basement too, they apparently showed up with Shining Armor earlier.”
“Hm? I wasn’t aware, but that’s fine. Are they battle capable?” Chrysalis asked, her tone more respectful than before, now that she seems to be calming down.
“No, but if you’re willing to believe it, it has to do with some sort of prophecy thing. Very recent development, but it’s the reason they all just showed up in the first place. Pretty much the reason I was able to come back.” You explain to her.
Chrysalis’s muzzle curled to a smirk as she nodded. “Well then, it proves that Equestria itself isn’t willing to go down without a fight. As I thought, evil just doesn’t have a chance of winning as long as good can pull its usual bullshit.” Her chuckle was almost sarcastic. She, of course, still didn’t like that fact. But a win is a win. “What are their names?”
“Yona, Smolder, Silverstream, and… Erm… Ocellus.” That last one, it might be a doozy.
“Alright then, considering I know one of them, it won’t be too hard to gather them.” Chrysalis said as she began to walk off.
Wut? “Wait, you’re not bothered that one of them is a changeling, that, um, doesn’t like you?”
“Anon. I’m going to tell you one more truth. I’m actually so glad that you’ve returned that I’m willing to look past such trivial issues. If she has a problem with me, fine, I won’t press it. But if you’re right about whatever prophecy you’re talking about, then she’s going to have to do the same if we’re going to work together. Now, finish with Tempest, and go say hello to your ‘father’. I’m sure he’s missed you.” Chrysalis said as she began to wander off. Her horn glowed for a moment, as a click is heard and the television shuts off.
“...huh, I never realized how nearly dying a second time would affect her that much. Um, er, anyway, you two seemed to be getting along.” You said as you looked back at Tempest, who just smirked as she hopped over to you, and gave you a gentle and short hug.
“We see eye to eye on certain things. I can see why you’re friends.” Tempest said as she looked down at you, smiling warmly. “You alright?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Honestly, despite how I’ve been acting, I’m scared that we might lose. We seem pretty stacked against those two right now, but Cozy, she’s the one I’m really worried about.” You said.
“Hm, then we’ll have to be very cautious in our planning. Although…” Tempest looks back at the recliner. Spike was sleeping there, he hadn’t woken up at all during the entire conversation. “After the planning is over, we’ll need a few hours of rest. It’s late as is, and even with the time limit, we can’t attack them with such little sleep. We’ll need to be at our best.”
“...Yeah. What about that influence though? Did you guys figure out a way past it?” You asked.
“Mostly. Neighsay is so biased that he’s basically immune. Now that I know you’re alright, I can focus on resisting. Starlight we’re unsure of, I’m told she might have a spell that can resist its effect, although the spell itself is experimental and may prove a problem all its own. Anyone that isn’t a pony is automatically immune. Grubber brought his collection of weapons, so one way or another, we have the numbers and we certainly have the power. As far as I know, their power is severely limited due to the damage to the staff. It stands to reason if Tirek wishes to continue to use his magic to control the town, then the staff won’t have enough power to deal with powerful spell users, an angry changeling queen, and our arsenal of weapons. I won’t stop you, but are you sure you want to come along? To be honest, I feel as if you’d only get in the way, no offense.” Tempest said.
Ouch… “I do. Now that I realize that Cozy knows all the tropes, I need to be there to counter them. I know the risks, and I don’t care, we’re finishing this together.”
Tempest nodded. “Hm, then that’s it, I won’t stop you. You mentioned this ‘Shining Armor’ is outside. Is Starlight with him?”
You nodded. “Yeah, along with a few other friends.”
Tempest nodded. “Alright, let’s let them in and go see Discord. Grubber is with him in the kitchen, so you can say hello to him too, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know you’re alive.”
“...So that’s literally what he’s been doing? Cooking?” You asked Tempest.
You both had headed down the other side of the grand hall, towards the hallways to the dining room and kitchen. Before she even answered, you could smell a cavalcade of flavor hit your nose.
Tempest nodded. “According to Grubber, it has been nonstop. It’s obvious he’s trying to keep his mind off what happened. Whenever you’re mentioned, he becomes annoyed, saying he doesn’t need to be reminded. And whenever Fluttershy is mentioned, he explodes.”
“Damn, so he really is having trouble keeping it together. But why does he get annoyed when I’m mentioned? That doesn’t sound like him.” Indeed, it didn’t. You have seen what happens when he actually believes that you got hurt. He tenses, he becomes worried, and in more dire situations, he doesn’t put on his usual act.
“I’m at a loss on that one. I would have assumed he’d explode at the mention of you, especially since it seemed like you were lost forever. But according to Grubber, it’s almost like he doesn’t care at all. I’m not a psychiatrist, but it sounds like a defense mechanism to me.” Tempest remarked.
A defense mechanism? It could be, could be that he just wanted to try to forget what happened to you, to try to remove the intense loss he must feel. Seems he didn’t realize that chaos cannot destroy cha- Oh, wait a second, that doesn’t make any sense.
He’d have to know that. He’s the lord of chaos, the very spirit of it. There was no way he thought you actually died.
Your head started to have quick visions, like, and you would never admit this to anyone and no one would ever find out, like a Jimmy Neutron brain blast. You knew he knew you weren’t dead, you knew if he thought that, he’d have actually been pissed off. His focus would be on Fluttershy, who would be in actual danger at this very moment. Discord…
Welp… Better prepare for shenanigans. Stay calm and don’t get pissed at it, he’s in terrible turmoil. “No… He knows I’m okay, he always knew.”
“Hm? How can you be so sure?” Tempest asked. But when you looked back at her, right when you were about to speak, she suddenly seemed to figure it out. “...Never mind, because he understands all the intricacies of chaos, right?”
You nodded. “Yeah. Damn, Tempest, you’re always on the ball. How do you do it?”
“It isn’t a matter of how, it’s just the way I have to be. Not for my sake, but for everyone else's. Besides, it isn’t that hard to figure out. The only thing that still vexes me these days is how Grubber is able to get more athletic with his training and yet still have cake in his diet.” Tempest said with a snicker. “I won’t lie, I wish I could do that.”
“Seriously? How much cake does he have a day?” You asked.
“Erm… Some questions are better left unanswered. Speaking of…” Tempest was as attentive as always as you didn’t even realize you were already in the kitchen. ”Grubber, report in!”
“I-I don’t mean not to, but sorta busy!” Grubber said frantically as you could hear the clanging of steel behind a pile of cooked meals of various delights. “Back off, you sad excuse of a macaroni painting! Hedgehog Stew ain’t on the menu!”
“Then why did you hand me the page for it? You pudgy pin cushion! It isn’t like we have any other hedgehog here to turn into a stew!” Discord said, garbed in a chef hat, as he fought a sword battle against Grubber with a spork. Grubber, even with his stubby hands, fought remarkably well with a butter knife.
“It was an accident, you mis-matched mug! I can’t even read whatever was on that cookbook! We were literally cooking everything else for hours on end! How was I supposed to-EEP!” Suddenly, a huge burst of magic shot right at Grubber’s knife, knocking it out of his grip, bouncing towards Discord’s spork and disarming him as well.
“Enough! We’re not cooking Grubber, and the cooking in general is over. We have work to do!” Tempest shouted harshly before looking over at Discord. “Discord, I’d rather not deal with your shenanigans right now. You’re aware Anon is alright, right?”
“Well, yes, clearly, he’s standing right next to you.” Discord said as he pointed directly at you without concern. Tempest shook her head in disappointment from his seemingly up-front aloofness, but she put her feelings aside right after, not wanting to deal with it knowing what he was truly concerned about.
“Wha?! Anon?!” Grubber said in absolute surprise as he ran up to you to check you out. He tapped your one ear and then stared at the dried glue where your neck should be, taking note of your eyepatch as well. “Geez, I heard ya got blown to pieces, but I guess that ain’t even enough to take you out. So, what bozo put you back together anyway? Does it hurt? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine, and don’t worry about that. How have you been, Grubber?” You asked. You internally agreed with Tempest, you didn’t want to deal with any shenanigans. There were more important things at stake.
“Oh, you know, taking care of things, as usual.” Grubber said with a cool shrug before patting your back. “Good to have you back though. Seriously, I’m blown away that you’re okay. I guess I was wrong, nothing can stop you.”
Heh, you had to smile at that, those had to be the kindest words Grubber has given to you yet. “Thanks, um, yeah, I guess I am.”
“You are, buddy. That’s really gotta hurt though, yeesh. Dunno what I’d do if I ended up looking like that though. I may have not wanted to come back. Anyyyway…” Grubber turned to Tempest and saluted. “Tempest, ma’am! Guessing we’re already ready for that council thing, huh?”
Tempest nodded “Yes, head over to Chrysalis’s room, we’ll meet you there.”
“Gotcha!” Grubber said with another salute before looking at you, giving you a thumbs up before rushing off.
You sighed, then looked at Discord. “So… You knew all this time, huh?”
“Of course I did, I'm not an idiot. And I actually agree with the grassmat. Just look at you…” Discord slowly approached you as he quickly scooped you up and tapped at your singular ear. “You're missing your ear, your tail, eye. I don’t even know if your brain is all there…” That… That was a phrase that was a real eye opener, geez... Oh geez. “Oh, my poor little Anon.” Discord said as he suddenly dropped you on the ground and looked behind himself, his voice becoming militant. “This is why I became so frustrated when that fool, Tirek, shattered you to bits. To put you back together, perfectly, would have been a time and a half, a whirlwind adventure even! I’d just need Twilight to accompany me. And Spike. And some priest. And, erm, none of you would know a pony good with a giant boomerang, would you?” Discord said as he looked at the both of you with a sheepish grin.
…Did he drop you on your face for…
For…
…You know what… Fine. You just groaned as you spoke. “Discord, look. We got work to do, okay? I’m glad to see you, but shit is really serious right now. We’re planning on infiltrating Tirek’s castle; Take him and Cozy Glow down. I know you’re worried about her.”
Discord tensed, he suddenly became more docile and serious as he looked back with a somber expression. “...I appreciate not saying her name.”
“I know, heard you been exploding at the mention of it. So, how about it, then? I know you still got some magic in you, you ready to kick some ass?” You asked him, giving him a reassuring yet arrogant smirk.
Discord looked down at both his legs, pulled one off, and floated upwards as he cocked it. “With all the force I can muster! Come, we must plan to save Flutt-” And with that, Discord exploded, whatever bits of him falling to the ground.
“And it happened again. Well, let’s not waste any time, I’m sure he’ll pull himself back together during the meeting.” Tempest said with an eye roll as she turned back towards the main hall. “I know that’s how he is. But he needs to take things more seriously.”
You looked back at the small blast stains he left on the floor, then began to follow Tempest. “Trust me, he is. He just can’t resist putting on a show.”
Everyone was gathered in Chrysalis’s room… Except for two, but Discord hadn’t shown up since he exploded. But there was another.
It seems Chrysalis was able to gather everyone on her end to her room, all except for one, the other one.
Ocellus had taken to hiding, apparently the moment Chrysalis showed up in front of them. There was an argument about Ocellus's reaction, of course, with the rest of the gang wanting to help find her and talk to her. But no, you didn’t have time for that, you didn’t have time to finally have Ocellus face her mother through any other means but your own. With Starlight’s help, you headed back into the basement cave in search of Ocellus.
“Ocellus…” You grumbled to yourself as you began to look through the basement cave. There were many a pony sleeping down here from the town, from Mayor Mare to Missus Cake and her children… with Mister Cake nowhere to be found. “How are we even supposed to find her without a changeling to sniff her out?”
“Well, that’s why I’m using a locator spell. I know you want to talk to her yourself, but this is a situation that requires a more delicate touch. Anon, you can’t be mad at her for how she feels.” Starlight said to you as her horn began to glow. She held up a bit of wing from Chrysalis’s own back, something she had actually allowed to be plucked to help in this endeavor, and zapped it. “There we are…” the light around Starlight’s horn began to bend forward and upwards, indicating that Ocellus was ahead, on the ceiling of the cave.
“Starlight, we really don’t have time for this bullshit. If it wasn't for that dream I had, I wouldn’t even be wasting my time.” You said as you stared at the light bending from her horn.
“Well, she really hasn’t had time to cope with the fact she’s going to have to work with Chrysalis. We have to convince her to come with us without scaring her.” Starlight then gives you a hard stare. “So don’t pull any of that human crap, okay? Erm, that is the right word for it, right?” She asked, her sternness half leaving her face.
“Right…” You groaned before looking back at her. “So, how do you want to do this, exactly?”
“We explain how dire the situation is, and we doubly explain to her that all of her friends are waiting for her.” Starlight explained.
“Why didn’t we just bring them again?” You asked.
“Because, as much as Twilight would do her whole ‘strength in friendship’ thing, we gotta be real here. She needs to get over her fear of Chrysalis on her own, with only a push from us. We know Chrysalis isn’t going to do anything to her.” Starlight, once again, explained. “Let’s just get it over with.” Starlight said as she grumbled under her breath. “We really shouldn’t have to involve them anyway…” Starlight then looked upwards, and quietly called out to Ocellus as to not wake anyone else up in the cave. “Ocellus, I can see you up there. Disguising yourself as a stalactite.”
You looked up and squinted your eyes… You could see it, there was a sharp rock trembling up above.
“...Please, I’m not ready to face her. I could feel her, her aura is-is… it’s menacing, I’m scared.” Ocellus said, still maintaining her form as tears began to drip down along her stony figure.
“Ocellus, I know you’re scared. We’re all scared. I don’t want to sound insensitive, but look around you, all of the residents of Ponyville here who lost their homes, their families, they’re scared too, and helping them is more important than how you feel about Chrysalis right now.” Starlight told her.
Wow, that sounded kinda harsh. You thought she was going to be delicate.
Ocellus didn’t answer, but she was still shaking. She was listening, and she must already know Starlight was right. Starlight then spoke to her again. “Ocellus, as your counselor, I would love to help you through this. But as your friend? You need to cut the crap.”
Oh, woah, what? “Starlight?”
“Hold on, Anon.” Starlight said to you as she looked up at Ocellus. “I get it, it stinks, you don’t want to have to interact with her. But that’s because you just feel more comfortable fearing her than talking to her. Look around you, do you think the old Chrysalis would have taken in the town like this? No, she wouldn’t. She’s risking her life, right now, to help save Equestria. I’m sorry that fate seems to want to involve you. If I had the power, I wouldn’t involve any of you. But if dimensional theory is correct, and all our lives have had viewable patterns, then I believe all the dreams you, your friends, and Anon have had mean something. We need you, we need everycreature. So, I’m going to give you a choice: You can either stay here and think of the ‘what if’, or you can face your fear, straight in the eye, and see that there’s no reason to be afraid. Chrysalis is as good as any of us. A little rough, sure, but if Fluttershy can handle her, then so can you. So, what is your choice?”
“Holy… Damn… Starlight? What was that?” You whispered to her. "I thought you were going to be delicate?"
“I thought that was delicate, I could have been much worse, trust me. I want to save everycreature, Anon. I feel bad, I don’t want to involve any of the students…” She then looks at you. “How much weight do you put on that dream anyway?”
“I hate to say it, but a lot. It happened for a reason.” You whisper back to her.
Starlight sighed and looked down, frowning. “Figured…”
Ocellus transformed back to her original form. She was shivering as she flew down and stared at the both of you. At first, it looked like she was going to say something. And she almost did. Until…
“Impressive, I didn’t think any of Twilight Sparkle’s friends were capable of that.” Said a voice from behind, prompting Ocellus to squeal and hide in front of Starlight.
“Chrysalis?” The both of you said as you looked back.
There she stood. No grin, nor malice on her face, she just seemed stoic with some annoyance. “Yes, I’m aware that it's surprising that I’m here.” Chrysalis said before going silent, her eyes shifting towards Starlight, or moreso, Ocellus. “Ocellus…”
“W-what?” Ocellus froze, and dared to look over at her. “Y-you remember my name?”
“If I gave any of my children a name, then I’ll always remember it. Now, I’ll keep things simple. All of you have gone on your own to follow your new king. Thus, it is your responsibility to protect the hive, you know this. If you wish to continue to hate me, that’s fine, I really don’t care anymore, it doesn’t matter to me. But I have come to understand the machinations of this world, and our enemies have come to understand them as well, and seek to go against that. If you do nothing, you’ll lose your friends, and your family.” Chrysalis let out a little chuckle as her expression became more distant. “Who knows? Considering we need to keep you six alive, I may end up sacrificing myself to accomplish that. Now wouldn’t that be a treat for the hive, hm?” Chrysalis then turned back, and began to walk off. “Starlight is correct, it’s your choice. Just know that you shouldn’t let your fear influence that.” And with that, she walked off.
You know, if you didn’t feel Chrysalis was just bullshitting that, you’d actually feel that was pretty deep for her. Though, you had to wonder how much of that was bullshit, and how much came from her heart. Either way, when you looked back at Ocellus, she seemed to have stopped shaking. She was calming down.
“...I” Ocellus looked at the both of you, shocked that something like that could come out of Chrysalis. “I…” Ocellus then looked down, shamefully. “I didn’t realize. I-it almost sounded like she thought we’d be better off if she… Disappeared. I…” Ocellus began to tear up. “I didn’t even think she could think we’d want that.”
“I mean, to be honest, when me and Diamond went to the hive to talk to King Thorax, you all kinda did act like that.” You told her, which made her flinch.
Also... damn, you never did send that letter.
“...” Ocellus sniffled, then took a deep breath. “I’ll go. But please, don’t think I want her to be gone. I… Mngh…” Ocellus didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to unpack Chrysalis’s words. She just closed her mouth, and began to walk off towards her room.
Starlight waited before moving forward, looking back at you. “So, she just said all that to make her feel bad, right?”
You nodded. “Probably, mostly. One thing I can say is she does care about them, she just tries not to think about it.”
“Well, I hope after all this, they can see what we see in her.” Starlight said to you.
“We?” You look up at her, confused.
“Sure, she hasn’t torn Shining to shreds yet, right? Huge improvement. Seriously, the only guy I’m actually worried about is Neighsay, but we’ll get to it when we get to it.” Starlight said, looking at you with a big grin.
Heh, well, that was a way of looking at it. You were glad to hear that from Starlight, actually. Things were improving, and relationships were being made.
You all had gathered within Chrysalis’s bed chambers, sitting in a circle within the middle of the room as Chrysalis sat high upon her bed. She had taken charge of the meeting, much to Neighsay’s chagrin. She looked down upon all of you as she cleared her throat and began to speak. “Let us not waste time here. We’ve gathered because we are the best hope Equestria has, and a strategy must be devised. Each of us brings something to the table and we must give our all to defeat Tirek and Cozy Glow. As you know, getting near the town causes most anypony to fall under their spell.” Chrysalis then shifts her eyes towards Starlight. “You said you had a spell that can resist that, right? Well, what is it?”
Starlight stood, and cleared her throat as she began to speak. “It is still in its experimental phases. But essentially, it is a spell using dark magic. It will, for lack of a better word, darken my heart. My version of the spell should only cause mild effects, making sure I don’t betray anypony while also protecting myself from the effects of that spell. We know that spell works off love and friendship, and only affects ponies. So, to put it simply, my spell should counteract it without changing me too much.”
“Well, well, how innovative. Dark magic…” Chrysalis said nothing more about it as she then shifted her eyes towards Neighsay. “And you, you aren’t affected by the spell at all?”
Neighsay shook his head. “If I hadn’t seen its effects with my own eyes, I would almost say it didn’t exist.” Neighsay then looked at Starlight with doubt. “And you. Dark magic? That kind of arcane magic isn’t meant to be trifled with.”
“It’s the only way. I have everything planned out. The spell will be a mild version of itself, enough to just make me in a permanent sour mood. I left the scroll that can break the spell’s hold with Trixie, since I obviously can’t be trusted with it when under the spell’s effects.” Starlight explained.
“Sour mood?” Neighsay raised an eyebrow at her, doubt in his tone. “And you think that’s enough to resist the spell’s hold?” Neighsay scoffed “So, you’re just going to act like a teenager then? Is that what your spell does?
“I’d say it’d make me more like a jerky Chancellor. Considering you can already resist the spell, I’d say it can’t be that hard. A little bias here, some ‘asshole’ there, and things will be jussssst fine.” Starlight said with an arrogant smirk.
Neighsay just stared silently at her for a moment as he slowly furrowed his brow. “I keep hearing these strange words and I’m starting not to like what they could mean.”
“Enough!” Tempest shouted, catching the attention of everyone. “The more time we stall, the less time we have to rest. I’m fine with the spell, so let us move on.” Tempest said as she looked at Chrysalis, and nodded towards her.
“Well, at least I can tell your hearts are in the right place. Moving on, some of us have a few objections in terms of who is coming with us. Starting with myself…” Chrysalis turned her head towards Scrappy, her stoic expression not breaking in the slightest. “Captain, you are to stay here.”
“WHAT?!” Scrappy, ever in dog form, jumped in surprise at those words. “But my Queen! I am your most loyal soldier! I must be there to protect you! I must be there to obliterate, incinerate, DESTROYICATE!”
Chrysalis stared at him in silence for but a moment as he gave her puppy dog eyes. She then sighed as her expression hardened. “I gave you an order, captain. I don’t want to deal with your ‘master’ should something happen to you. I’m aware Applejack was captured, we’ll deal with that. Am I clear?”
“B-but… I-I’m your captain…” Scrappy begged.
“As of today, at this moment, you are not. Your name is Scrappy. You’re no longer part of my hive, and you are to leave my presence at once.” Chrysalis said in a harsher tone.
Scrappy let out a puppy like whine towards those words, as if he had been physically struck. He stared at her, but she would not relent. Tears began to flow from his eyes as he left her side. When he reached the door, he looked back at her, and still she did not relent. So with a heavy sadness, he left the room.
Capper crossed his arms, and let out a sigh at the whole situation. “Harsh, really harsh. But I want everyone in the room to know that I know she didn’t really mean it.” Capper gave Chrysalis a cool grin. “Don’t want to risk your number one son, huh?”
Chrysalis’s eyes twitched in anger at those words. For what reason? You had to believe Capper was right on that, Chrysalis always enjoyed the company of Scrappy, she had no reason to dismiss him other than for his safety. Or perhaps, something a little more on his part. However, Chrysalis did not reply either, ignoring his words as she looked towards Tempest. “Tempest, I believe you wanted somecreature to opt out as well?”
“Woah, woah, what?!” Grubber jumped up in surprise, pointing at himself. “Tempest, you can’t! We’re a duo! We got each other's backs! Why would you want to send me away? I’m your best pal!”
“And that’s why I didn’t pick you. Capper, listen to me carefully, and do not argue. The Redemption Ark is capable of holding at least four hundred passengers. I need you to return to the ship and commandeer it all the way back here. Get these and any other ponies you can find out and away from Equestria, as many as you can.” Tempest said, her expression soft yet stern.
You thought Capper was going to complain like Scrappy, have some speech already ready as to why he should stay. But he didn’t say anything. He looked at everyone, straightened his coat, and stood up without a fuss. “...Just gonna say this, I don’t want to to hear anything about the ladies wanting to join us as crewmates when this is all over.” Capper said with a cool shrug as he made his way out the door. He then looked back at Chrysalis, his grin a little more subdued. “Say, you mind if I borrow some blankets for the road? Awfully chilly out there.”
Chrysalis said nothing. She just nodded and shooed him away. After the door closed, she cleared her throat. “Ahrm… Now then, we nee-” But as she spoke, Neighsay suddenly interrupted her, wanting to say something of his own.
“Pardon me, but I do believe we have seven more who need to leave this room.” Chancellor Neighsay said as his eyes shifted towards you… Then the six.
“Everycreature who needs to leave has left. And…” Chrysalis stopped for a moment, then put her hoof to her forehead in frustration. “Absolutely not. They’re needed.”
“Because of some sudden prophecy that suddenly manifested itself through them? I wasn’t born yesterday. Taking them along on such a dangerous mission is asking for trouble, they are a liability! Surely somepony here sees that.” Neighsay said as he looked around the room, hoping someone would agree with him. He even gave a hard stare towards Shining. But there was only silence. “...I see, so you’re all mad, then.”
“Mad? What do they have to be angry about? You’re the only mad guy here!” Smolder said as she stood up to defend herself. “What’s your problem with us, anyway!? All your complaining about us not being ponies and it was a pony who caused all this in the first place!”
“One, that isn’t what I mean by ‘mad’, you need to be more educated, dragon child. And two, I object to you and your friends coming along not because you are not ponies, but because you are children, who are meant to be protected. Not to mention if something were to happen to any of you nonponies, it’d be war with your entire clan. Can somepony here even make a convincing argument other than some dream? Even the ‘Hero Colt’ means nothing now without his horn.” Neighsay explained as snobbily as ever.
“I can answer that” Said a familiar voice, speaking up upon the ceiling.
You all looked up. Yup, there he was, Discord joining the conversation.
“Ah, the fool has arrived.” Chrysalis said with a smirk. She relaxed herself, actually looking forward to see how Discord baffles the biased Neighsay. “You have the floor. Or rather, the ceiling.”
“Thank you.” Discord said with an upside-down bow as he began to pace along the ceiling, explaining things like he was a philosopher. “The answer is quite simple, my dear Chancellor. To us, most of us, this world is always as we perceive it. Things happen as they happen, nothing more. But to those who watch from outside, there are always patterns, always expected endings. As much as I enjoy chaos, there is an existence of a script when it comes to life. That’s not to say we don’t have free will, we certainly do! But some things simply must be or else everything would fall apart. Anon here, he lives outside those rules, he’s an anomaly through my own, well, let’s just say he certainly changed things up. Unfortunately, our filly adversary has gained access to the script of this world, and is changing it to fit her evil vision. So, the spirit of harmony, who is apparently the source of the elements themselves, seeks to change the script as well, to obtain victory. These six, sir, are the new elements of harmony.” Discord said as he pointed towards your six friends.
“What? Those six? Them?! That’s impossible! Where’s your proof?” Neighsay demanded.
“I mean, look at them. There’s six of them. Six! How much more proof do you need?” Discord said with a shrug.
“How about a show of power, for a start.” Neighsay said with a groan. “You have the elements themselves, don’t you?”
“We do. I kept them with me since we couldn’t get them to work.” Starlight explained. “I have them downstairs.” She then paused for a moment, as if she was thinking. She then looked to Neighsay with a more serious stare. “In fact, that’s probably why they weren’t working. They moved on to their new masters. Isn’t that right, Chrysalis?” Starlight said with a wink.
Chrysalis caught on immediately, acting like it was a profound epiphany. “Oh yes! Yes, that’s right. That explains everything now that I think about it. Yes, what she says is true, obviously decided by the ‘script’ Discord mentioned.”
Neighsay looked at Starlight with suspicion. “Strange, I believe it was explained to me that Twilight had been captured before the elements could be used.”
“Ugh, why does that even matter? It’s clear everpony has been overtaken by grief and got their timelines confused. The fact of the matter is that we need them.” Discord said with annoyance before looking at Shining Armor with a smile. “Oh, by the way. You’re out, Shining.”
“Wha, hey?” Shining said, shocked and caught off guard. “What?”
“I said take a hike! If you’re not going to take this seriously, then you can just leave. Oh, also, you coming would cause all of Equestria to be blown to smithereens. Though, come to think of it, that would only be the worst case scenario. No, no, never mind. Even the best case scenario ends with Ponyville blowing up. Can’t have that while Fluttershy is still in it.” Discord said as he began to ramble to himself.
“What are you talking about?! How is me coming going to blow up Equestria?! I need to go, they have my wife!” Shining said, shouting at Discord.
“Not you, per se. But that armor of yours, that’s the problem. If you happen to stop my magic flow, or Twilight’s, or any of the hypnotized ponies… Well, you’d break the balance. And breaking the balance would make everything go boom! Sadly, we need to destroy the staff itself to make sure everything is broken at the same time, there is no other way to stop it.” Discord explained.
“What?! You idiot! Why didn’t you say that before?!” Chrysalis barked in rage.
Discord just shrugged and began to lay down on the ceiling to relax. “Wasn’t important at the time, I didn’t even really care to notice he was here until this moment. Wow, it sure is a good thing he never activated the armor in my presence.” Discord said with a laugh. “That would have been quite the disaster. Didn’t anypony notice Tirek wasn’t sucking up magic like he was at an all-you-can-eat cafe? Same principle, basically.”
Everyone, even Tempest, had a grim expression on their faces. Fucking Discord, even though it was the truth, he just had to get one more in.
“W-what about that spell you were talking about, Starlight? Can you use it on me?” Shining asked.
Starlight shook her head with a frown. “I’m sorry, I perfectly tuned the spell specifically to my personality. There’s no telling what would happen if I cast it on you. It could very well make you join their side without you realizing it. And that’s not even the worst case scenario.”
Shining's ears folded upon hearing that. “...So, I’m out?”
“I’m sorry. If what Discord says is true, then you’re going to have to sit this one out. A-at least you can keep Flurry Heart secure. W-who knows what would happen if she didn’t have you to watch over her.” Starlight said, trying to cheer Shining up.
But it was Silverstream who approached Shining, and she hugged him, giving him a warm smile. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. We’ll get her back. I had so much fun watching Flurry that I want to make sure she gets to see her mother as soon as possible. Even if… Even if…” Silverstream looked at her talons, and balled them into fists. “Even if I have to beat up the badguys myself. I’m not that strong, so it’ll take awhile, but I’ll make sure to smack them over one hundred times for ya!”
Shining couldn’t help but smirk. He sighed, hearing his baby’s tired and sleepy breaths as she clung to his back. He then relaxed himself, and nodded towards Silverstream. “Well, maybe not a hundred, gotta leave some for your friends, right?”
“Oh, right! Well, I don’t think they’d all do that. Well, Yona would. I’ll leave some for Yona!” Silverstream said with a grin.
And with that, Shining gave her a gentle hug, and took Flurry with him as he looked back one last time, knowing, or at least hoping, Cadance would be in good hooves.
“Well, we now lost an actual useful member to our little brigade.” Neighsay said with a scoff. “So then, you want me to believe these students are our new elements? Fine, I’ll go along with it. If we fall, then it won’t matter either way. And you wish to risk Anon’s life as well? Despite the fact that he’s obviously still recovering from being maimed? Don’t think I haven’t noticed, I was made aware that he was destroyed, and I can now see he barely scraped by by some miracle. I don’t even know how he’s still standing. But, again, fine. I want you all to be aware, and I say this with no enthusiasm or joy in my breath, that if I have an opportunity to take down those two monsters, I will take it, even if it has to be through any of you. It will be no fault of mine just because you all choose to ignore the risks.”
Tempest did not reply, she simply looked over to Chrysalis and nodded to her. “Now that we’re done with that, what is the actual plan? We enter Neighsay’s portal gate, neutralize anyone who attacks us, nonlethally of course. But what then?”
“...So, you’re all going to actually ignore the risks?” Neighsay said, trying to cut into the conversation.
Chrysalis groaned as she rolled her eyes. “Yes, we are, now be silent and stop wasting time. Or do you want to waste more time and put us all at even more risk?”
“A-er… Nmmnnn” Neighsay said nothing. As much as he wanted to have his way, he understood time was of the essence.
“As you may or may not know, the staff’s current condition is rather dubious at best. Damaged yes, but I’m sure Tirek is trying to squeeze all he can out of that thing. What that means is that his defenses are as low as they’re going to get, and I do so love kicking them when they’re down. However, he has an entire network of security cameras watching every corner of his castle. I’m aware some of you might not know what that is, but essentially, he can see anything and everything within the castle at any moment. Which, I admit, will make a sneak attack rather difficult.” Discord then looked over at Neighsay and pointed at him. “Say, are you willing to sacrif-er, I mean, create some sort of diversion to lure Tirek away?”
Neighsay just narrowed his eyes at Discord silently, then shook his head. “Allow me to take things more seriously by saying that security magic and artifacts will not be a problem. I can disable them with ease, a skill required when faculty is trying to hide something from you.”
“Oh, how adorable, you think you can disable technology.” Discord walked up to Neighsay and gave him a pat. “I needed some cheering up.”
“Stop that!” Neighsay shouted as he backed away. “And what’s this about technology? Are you telling me he has advanced technology ponies do not? Surely it is just magical constructs from the staff, which can be dealt with the same way.”
“I would say the same thing...” Chrysalis said as she looked over at Discord, becoming instantly annoyed with him. “So stop wasting time and tell us why that isn’t the case! Or I’ll do worse than say her name.” Chrysalis growled.
“Hm, tough crowd.” Discord said as he stretched his neck out nervously, letting out some steam. “Well, to put it simply, the staff runs off my chaos magic, and Twilight’s magic, which is harmonic in nature. Normally, with chaos magic, you can do whatever you wish and deal with the consequences as they come. But harmonic magic? Oh ho, now that’s the key. Harmonic magic works in a way to benefit those who have it. Pegasi with their cloud pushiness and flight, Earth ponies with their strength and… Not much else. Oh, but then we have the unicorns, whose spells and abilities match the talent and skill they have, and have no real repercussions other than what the spell represents. Alicorns having an eve greater version of this.”
“Your point?” Both Chrysalis and Neighsay said, both annoyed with his very basic lecture.
“Hmph, my point is the staff runs off a combination of both. Tirek can essentially cast any kind of spell he wishes without having to worry about the usual repercussions a chaos spell would invoke.” Discord stated.
“What?!” Starlight said in a panic. “Does he know that?! Please tell me he hasn’t figured that out yet!”
“Oh, I’m sure he’s been taking the time to learn. But relax, my dear, there are still drawbacks to this method of magic. Yes, he gains the ability to cast any spell at his leisure, he can even forge constructs and make them as real as you and I. But the drawback is that harmonic and chaos magic don’t properly mix, it’s too volatile. Therefore, the foundation of every spell, no matter how small, must have some semblance of logic and proper assembly. It’s why his precious mind spell only affects ponies. Yes, in truth, it bends their love and friendship, but he only has Twilight as a base. With only her way of friendship, as well as being a pony, being the only thing the spell is based off of, it can only affect ponies. Anyhoo, back on track on his whole surveillance nonsense. Yes, he’s discovered and is now using other dimension technology to bolster his defenses. In truth, this actually circumvents some of his magic usage from the staff, as he no doubt has created some sort of electric generator to power it all. So then, which one of you knows a spell to cause an electromagnetic pulse, hm? Would be very convenient for the task at hand.” Discord explained. Asking anyone who might have such a spell.
Oh no… So that’s how it was? Goddammit, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut about the whole ‘Deus Ex Machina’ thing. It actually got to him, it actually made him take precautions. You don’t think even Cozy would have thought of something like that, something about her seemed more direct and vicious, more so than Tirek, after they captured you.
“An electromagnetic pulse? Yeah, actually, that kind of spell would be easy to cast. Wow, I guess the staff isn’t as powerful as we thought.” Starlight said, feeling confident about the situation. “But won’t he notice that his generator is down?”
“If the staff is barely usable, then that may not be an issue. Yes, if what you say is true, then it is just a matter of disabling this ‘generator’ and sneaking inside. He would have no idea about our approach, nor would he suspect that we’re the ones who disabled his generator in the first place. I’m not worried about the filly at that point, our main priority should be taking down Tirek before he has a chance to take our magic.” Neighsay said.
“Is it really that simple?” Sandbar said, speaking up. “Like, wouldn’t his castle have other defenses we’d have to worry about?”
“There’s a possibility that if there is, then they are also using the generator. He can’t be using magic, lest he risks the staff becoming too unstable.” Tempest remarked.
“So, what?” Gallus asked. “That’s it? If we’re just gonna pummel the guy, then what’s with the whole prophecy thing?”
“...Insurance.” You say, piping up.
“Insurance?” Grubber asked, confused. “What does that mean? If we don’t gotta risk you guys, then what is there to insure?”
“Unfortunately, Anon is correct. Although our main target is the staff, we mustn't forget that filly friend Tirek has made. All of this started because of her, and if she’s that capable of manipulating the situation, then she might have something prepared for all of us… She may even have a surprise for Tirek.” Chrysalis stated.
“Betrayal? No, at this point, I doubt that. If the staff is still in a critical state, then there is no strategic advantage to betraying Tirek quite yet.” Tempest said as she pondered on the situation. “We’ll have to be aware of her as we take Tirek down. No hesitation just because she’s a filly.”
“I see, then the plan is actually quite simple. I covertly disable this security system, we sneak inside and catch Tirek off guard, take the staff, and disable Cozy Glow without being taken in by any trick she might have. Hrn, this might be even more simple than I realize. Then I have to agree with the hedgehog, why risk the students if only the few of us are enough?” Neighsay asked.
“Because… I don't want anycreature to miss the show.” Said a voice, coming out from the window.
What?!
You all looked towards the window near the wall as something red was glowing outside of it. It suddenly crashed through the window and rushed towards the center of your circle. What the, it was a drone? There was an air of confusion and horror all of a sudden, as you recognized the voice coming out of the drone. More importantly, Starlight looked the most shocked, with an ‘oh no’ silently escaping her lips.
“What in the name of Celestia is this thing?!” Neighsay said in shock.
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at the drone. “Tirek…”
The drone began to light up, and a red light shone above as a hologram of Tirek appeared. He looked rather disheveled, tired even, yet still as arrogant as ever. “Chrysalis, how good to see you again. And Discord, I just want to tell you how grand it is to have your favorite friend scrubbing my throne room with a toothbrush.”
Discord literally lit aflame in anger as his claws and talons sharpened on their own. “How dare you!” He said in a dark and threatening tone. "If you harm on-" But Tirek interrupted him with a dismissive wave.
“Yes yes, well, we do have some to thank for such a dare…” Tirek let out a soft chuckle as he turned his attention to you. “Hello, outworlder. I’d say I’m surprised to see you survived. But seeing you here? Well, it appears you were telling the truth after all.”
You tensed at those words. The truth? The truth about what? “W-what do you mean by that?” The hell?
Tirek’s eyes became more crazed as he pointed towards you. “Deus Ex Machina! That is how you survived. Do you realize how much research I’ve been attempting to find on this? I’ve been up all night, searching, reading. All to guarantee my success. But I knew that Equestria itself didn’t have the answers. No, I knew I had to delve further once I found the drone you see before you within my castle. This drone, it isn't something Equestria would have, and so I used it to delve into so many more secrets.”
Starlight sank as her ears folded back. That’s when you realized that this drone had to have been built by her, she was the only one interested in human technology in such a way to replicate it.
“Ahh, so it was you who gave me my epiphany. This is why ponies should bow before me, they don’t know how to put away their toys, otherwise one could use a simple spell to trace it back to its owner.” Tirek said with a mad laugh. Tirek, dammit. Was he even able to use the drone to trace Starlight's magical signature all the way back to the manor itself?
“Shut up! So what, you found us, who cares? Why don’t you actually come down here so we can see how tough you really are!” Smolder said, standing up as she smashed her fist into her hand.
“All in due time, my dear.” Tirek said as he stared at Chrysalis. “You’re needed, Chrysalis. You will be the final ingredient to my spell.”
“The final ingredient? Tirek, you truly have lost your mind. You are aware that all you have done is make your fall that much more excruciating, right? I don’t even care what you want me for, because it isn’t happening.” Chrysalis said before she began snickering. “Did you bring this little toy to try to scare us? Look at you, Tirek, you haven’t drained any magic in awhile. Your staff, it’s still broken, isn’t it? What’s to stop us from marching in there right now and turning you to dust?”
“As I said, Deus Ex Machina. Don’t you see, the outworlder is right there!” Tirek said as he pointed at you.
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at him, unamused. “Yes, and? I’m aware he’s a roach you can’t kill.”
“And you’re also aware of how every one of us has lost in our conquests, all in the same way. You, Discord, and I each had come seconds away from total victory, only for it to be snatched away at the last second by something impossible. Or, so I thought. This drone, it gave me ideas, it made me wonder if you're truly invested in this ‘human’ technology, then why can’t I? I shifted my studies by what I could still summon with the staff, and look what happened to drop down into my hands.” Tirek held up a… Oh no, is that an MLP DVD? Good god, no, no no no.
Chrysalis still was undeterred. “And what is that supposed to prove? That dimension theory is correct?”
“What even is that?! Some sort of odd tome? What is even going on? What is this thing before us? How is Tirek communicating through it? Why is everypony talking nonsense?!” Neighsay was beyond confused.
But you weren’t. Tirek was losing his mind over it all this time. He didn’t want to lose, he didn’t want it snatched away from him again. This meant more than just victory to him. He was out to prove something. He wanted everyone to know what a truly terrible king he’d become, how much of an unstoppable genius he could be.
“Oh, even better. It’s a change in perspective, the ability to see how everything came to be from an outside lens. That’s how you came to understand how things work, isn’t it… Anon? You saw Equestria through these special discs, and that’s how you were able to fit in so well. How you could change fate to your favor. Yes, and that foolishness that led to the filly being able to do the same thing. Well, now I have that power.” Tirek said with a cackle. “Don’t you all realize? I control everything now, I know how this world works, and you all will soon bow before me.”
Tirek was both right and wrong about his findings. Learning how the script works is possible, but you can’t change the meta. Right? There’s no way. You never expected him to watch the show, not in this way. That’s why he’s losing his mind, it must be eating away at him. He watched everything he could, he probably used a spell to get through it all in one night, and he couldn’t handle what it contained. Seeing how everything always works out, no matter what. Not just with the villain plans, but in general. He must have felt it was all just fate that couldn’t be changed, not until now anyway.
“You’re wrong, there’s more to it than that. Life isn’t a television show, Tirek.” You say to him, confident that there really was more to it than that.
“A bit too late to be hypocritical, isn’t it? Either way, you’re all invited to my castle when you awaken. And only the ones in this room. My defenses will stay in place to insure that. This request, I’d suggest you not turn it down. If even one of you decides to stay here, then I will destroy everypony in town, instantly, through their hearts. I wouldn’t bother with your little plan either, I’ll be using the last magic I’m willing to muster to set up a few trials for you, as well as making my generator immune to an electromagnetic pulse. But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll breeze right through them.” Tirek said with an evil chuckle before looking at Chrysalis with a cruel smirk. “In fact, I’m counting on it. See you all very soon.” Tirek said as the hologram disappeared and the drone fell to the ground.
“...He expects us to succeed?” Neighsay slowly looked over at you, furrowing his brow in suspicion. “Outworlder, so the rumors are more than true. So, when did you plan to explain your full story to us, Anon? He mentioned something about ‘human’. What does that mean?”
“We already knew.” Tempest said plainly.
“What?! Everycreature?!” Neighsay said in utter shock.
Ocellus nodded. “M-mhmm, some of us before some others. It’s, um, complicated.”
“...Anon” Starlight stood up, and looked the fallen drone over. “So what did he mean? Why would he want us to succeed? If he’s going to use all that magic on his castle, and he expects us to reach him, then how does he expect to beat us? You know, don’t you?”
You did. “I think I do. He watched the show, so he saw that in the end, things always work out for Twilight. If I’m right, he thinks he can affect Deus Ex Machina by tipping things in our favor until the last possible moment. He thinks fate will favor him and pull out a win at the last possible moment.”
“Will somecreature make some sense around here!” Neighsay shouted angrily. “First those tomes, then this Deus Ex Machina madness! Have I gone insane? Is that what this is? Because none of you are making sense!”
“Because Tirek isn’t making any sense.” Chrysalis said as she walked over to her shattered window, looking out into the forest. “Something is wrong with him, he’s unhinged. I’ve seen what he’s seen as well, but I know that isn’t how it works. The staff is broken, after all. Perhaps it has been affecting his-DISCORD! WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF! YOU’RE BURNING THROUGH MY CARPET!”
Discord was still standing there, angry, lit aflame. A bucket appeared above him as water dropped onto his body, extinguishing the flames. He let out a sigh of relief as he brushed the ash off his body. “Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. Perhaps that is what is going on with Tirek. He can’t possibly believe fate would be in his favor just because he’s losing.” Discord then looked over at you, and then clapped. “Bravo, Anon. A delayed act of chaos, perhaps I won’t punish you after all.”
Chrysalis groaned as she began to lift the glass from her carpet and throw it out the window with her magic. “Next time, Discord, use that empty head of yours and actually contribute to the plan. Otherwise I’ll just transform into Flutt-” But before Chrysalis could finish, Discord exploded, getting chunks of himself on her face as she turned around. “Shy… I’m not even angry.”
“So, if Yona understand. If Tirek let Yona and friends get to him, then Tirek loses because Tirek has no power to stop Yona and friends?” Yona asked.
“Sounds like it to me.” Gallus said with a shrug. “I don’t even understand half of what’s going on. But if he’s gonna let us beat him, then whatever, I am not complaining.”
“Huh, but what does he want Chrysalis for? He said he needed to add another ingredient.” Starlight said, pondering on his words.
“Oh, I already got that figured out.” Grubber said as he stood up proudly.
“You do?” You asked. What, did he really figure that out so fast?
“Please explain, Grubber.” Tempest said.
“Certainly. So it’s like this. Imagine a plain old slice of cake. Sure, you’d eat it, but it doesn’t really appeal to anyone. Now what about a cake with gems? Now dragons are gonna gobble it up. Add some fish? Hey, I’m sure griffons would love some of that cake. But what does a changeling queen add? Well, I’ll tell ya.” Grubber stood even more proudly, crossing his arms. “Ya see, it’s like this. She is literally the entire bakery. A changeling queen can change into basically anything, entrance anyone, manipulate love however she wants. So, if his spell only affects ponies, it’d only make sense to add a changeling queen to attract everyone under the sun. It’s that simple.”
“So it doesn’t matter then. We’re all attacking tomorrow, regardless of that information. So, does anycreature have any strategies they want to discuss?” Chrysalis asked as she looked around.
“There’s nothing more to discuss, we only need time to get ready. Tirek is setting the stage for us, so we’ll need all the rest we can get if we’re going to be ready to take him down. There’s enough of us to overwhelm him, so I’m not worried about that.” Tempest explained.
“But you are worried about that dumb filly, right, Tempest?” Grubber asked.
Tempest nodded. “Yes. If she got Tirek this far, then it’s possible there is more to this than meets the eye. We will all need to be vigilant. Absolutely no hesitation, the priority is taking the staff. Once we have that, then the filly will be powerless, and Tirek isn’t strong enough to take us all on by himself.”
“...And you all honestly think he was telling the truth about letting us conquer his castle? All of you have been talking nonsense since that machine burst in here. I demand a proper explanation!” Neighsay said, stomping his hoof down.
“And now isn’t the time for it. You want to know what we’re talking about? About the ‘tomes’? Anon? Well, save it for when we defeat Tirek and Cozy Glow. We’ve wasted too much time, and we all need our rest. Or do you just want to argue into the morning?” Chrysalis said, giving Neighsay a sharp and demanding look.
Neighsay fell silent for a moment. He looked down, then gave Chrysalis a nasty look before he turned towards the door. “...I expect a full explanation when this is all over. Every last detail.” Was the last thing he said before walking out.
“Come on, Grubber.” Tempest said as she walked ahead, then stopped for a moment to look at everyone. “And goodnight… Don’t be scared about tomorrow, I’ll make sure we all make it out.”
“Heh, and just to let you guys know. When Tempest says something, it’s always a promise.” Grubber said with a wink as he followed Tempest out.
“Come on, guys.” Sandbar said with a yawn. “We need to get some sleep too. Just like Tempest said, we can’t let ourselves worry. We got this!”
“Yona know Sandbar right. There many of us and one of him, it be alright.” Yona said with a cheer, a small blush appearing on sandbar’s face as everyone followed him out of the room. Ocellus stopping momentarily to look at Chrysalis once, then hurry her step to keep up with the group.
Starlight walks over to the drone, and sighs. “I really hope this actually turned out to be a good thing. I really don’t want to be the reason we all lose.”
“Hey, Starlight. Don’t even worry about it. Tirek lost his mind. If he wants to give us the win, then let him. I didn’t want to do a big adventure thing anyway, nice and simple.” You look at her with a grin, your eyepatched face still looking somewhat cute enough to calm some of her soul.
“I hope so. Well, I better take this with me, maybe I can do something with it tomorrow.” Starlight said as she walked out, looking back at you one more time with a “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Starlight. Hmmm, I guess I should be hitting the hay too. I bet Diamond wouldn’t mind me snuggling up with her right now.” You said out loud.
“You’ll do no such thing. You’re staying here tonight.” Chrysalis said as she began to prepare her bed.
You suddenly blushed hard. “W-what?! I-in here, with you?! E-erm.”
Chrysalis groaned at you, yet… You almost thought you saw a smile. “Well, I can see that part of you isn’t broken. No, we’re not doing that, you idiot. You can’t be having any distractions or reasons to stay awake. Little Sister can learn you survived after we all return from crushing those fools.”
O-oh, I guess that makes sense. You wiggle your little butt for a jump, and hop up at the end of Chrysalis’s bed, spinning around before making yourself comfortable at the end of her bed.
“Ugh, up here, not down there.” Chrysalis said as she prepared a pillow for you next to her.
“W-what? You’re letting me sleep next to you?” You asked, surprised.
“Will you just shut up? I know you sleep better being next to somepony. I need you well rested, I know how you oversleep.” Chrysalis said as she laid on her side, away from your pillow.
And you did, you stayed silent as you held your excitement. You walked up to the pillow and got onto your back, daring to shimmy a bit until you felt your side touching Chrysalis’s back. No reaction. You tried pressing yourself a little harder, and that's when she said something. “Are you done?”
“Yeah… Hey, Chrysalis. Are you scared? You know, about tomorrow?” You asked her.
“Less questions, more sleeping.” Chrysalis said with a soft growl.
“R-right… Erm, goodnight, Big Sis.” You said as you closed your eyes.
There was a long pause, very long. But you could swear you heard her whisper those words. “Goodnight”. You swear she tried to hold it back.
Either way, you know you heard it, and you knew you could sleep with a smile on your face.
The portal opened within the town, near the center fountain where a statue of Tirek stood proud. One by one, you all stepped out from the swirling tunnel, the town becoming visible through the other end.
Silverstream, who was currently adorned with the element of laughter, immediately gasped as she gazed upon the warp town. “...This is horrible.”
The town was twisted under the dark, foreboding clouds. Buildings adorned with blood red roofs, in disrepair or twisted to such a point that they looked unlivable. The roads are ripped up or have pot holes in them. The air was cold, and even Twilight’s castle in the distance looked unwelcoming.
“Yeah, yeah, everything sucks. Whatever, the sooner we kick Tirek’s butt, the sooner everything will be okay.” Starlight complained as she walked past everyone. Her eyes were burning with the same look as Sombra’s. Even within the heart of the town, it seemed her spell was holding strong.
“Yeesh, calm down.” Grubber said as he did a check on himself. He had equipped himself with some strange looking grenades, his Trapper Blaster, shock gloves, and a few tools. He wanted to bring some bigger guns, but he was advised to bring more manageable gear to avoid any accidents. “So, what’s the plan?”
“Well, he knows we’re coming, and has made it hard to refuse his invitation. I’m sure he’s watching us at this very moment with one of those strange machines.” “Neighsay said as he looked back, closing the portal once everyone had stepped through.
You looked at your leg, adjusting your Starlight Hook to make sure it was strapped on properly, and making sure your saddlebag was fastened around you. “That’s what bothers me. He wants us to play by his rules. Dad, are you sure there’s no other way to get to him? Or even steal the staff?”
“Unfortunately not. But why does that matter? I’m not in the mood to play with my food today. Tirek and Cozy Glow will know my full wrath for what they have done to my dear Fl-ahrm, best friend.” Discord said as he raised his claws, his eyes burning as he squeezed the air tightly. “Oh, they will rue the day they messed with the lord of chaos.”
“It matters because your words are just words. Now is the time to step up, Discord. Your usual shenanigans will do you no good here.” Chrysalis said as she slowly began to look around, then up towards where the school used to be. “There’s Tirek’s castle. Everycreature stay close, and keep your wits about you.” Chrysalis said as she began to advance.
“How Sandbar doing? Feel weird?” Yona, adorned with the element of honesty, asked Sandbar.
“I feel pretty chill so far, doesn’t seem like the spell is working on me at all.” Sandbar said, adorned with the element of loyalty.
“What about you, Ocellus? You okay?” Asked Smolder, adorned with the element of kindness.
Ocellus, adorned with the element of magic, looked at Chrysalis for a moment, and only slightly flinched. But as she looked towards Smolder, she was filled with some confidence to continue. “Mhmmm, I-I’m not backing down now. We have to do this, everycreature needs us.”
Gallus was staring at his element, the element of generosity, as he looked back at you. “So, uh, you sure you got these element things right? Griffins aren’t really known to be generous.”
“You got any better ideas? Trust me on this one, irony always works out in situations like this.” You try to reassure Gallus as you give him a cocky grin. “I’m a master at this sort of thing, it’ll be fine.”
Gallus just gave you an odd look as he answered you awkwardly. “A-alright, I gues- Oh… What is that?” Gallus pointed forward. You all had to stop at the unsettling sight that all laid before you.
“Normally, I’d make a joke about this sort of thing. But this? Oh, I don’t like this at all.” Discord said as he gazed upon the creepy scene. Ponies were lined up opposite of each other, standing there, all staring at your group as they formed a pathway towards the castle.
“Are they going to attack?” Asked Neighsay.
“I doubt it. Tirek may be treacherous and cruel, but he loves to show off his dominance. He’s just positioning his pawns.” Chrysalis answered as she walked forward.
“I don’t like this, they’re just staring at us. There’s nothing we can do for them?” Silverstream asked, looking over to anyone for answers.
“Nope.” Starlight said with no care in her voice. “We’re just gonna have to crush Tirek if we’re gonna snap them out of it. Now come on, already, I got kite flying to do later.” Starlight demanded as she stomped forward along the path.
“Hold yourself, Starlight. Trust me, I want to stomp those two into dust more than anypony. But I have to admit, Tirek has set up quite the unsettling sight for most of our brave little adventurers. Give them a moment to compose themselves, then rush them to the front door.” Chrysalis said with a stoic expression, passing by the ominous gazes of the ponies. Though, for a quick moment, she stopped to look at two particular ponies. But only for a moment, before she moved on.
You noticed it, and took a look at the ponies she was staring at. “...Oh geez.” It was the Riches. Gone was Spoiled’s usual disgusted look or Filthy’s eccentric smile. They just stared at your group with expressionless stares. “...Don’t worry, I’ll get you guys out of this.” You whispered as you moved along.
“Dude, this isn’t cool. How could he do something like this?” Sandbar said, disgusted with the sight before him.
“For somecreature like Tirek, this is typical. But to know a foal is also behind this… Such depravity.” Neighsay said, even he seemed shakened at the sight.
“Are we sure they ain't gonna attack us?” Grubber said, entering a fighting pose past every pony he walked past.
“No, this is definitely a show of power. Whatever dangers await us, it is inside the castle itself.” Tempest explained.
And so you all walked along the path, passing by each familiar set of ponies who were caught in the spell. Man, he even got poor Cheerilee. You hadn’t really spoken to her since you left her class, now you felt awful seeing her standing there soullessly.
The castle itself was menacing. You never got a chance to see it from the outside before you got obliterated. It stood tall where the school once stood. Obsidian black and blood red in color, a citadel more tall than wide. The banners of Tirek blew in the empty winds on each side of the colossal castle. Even the main doors were uninviting, despite opening automatically for you all. Spikes on the outer edges, a cold deathly air blowing from within, it truly fit his brutal image.
…Up until you actually stepped inside.
Your group stood within a modern looking human lobby straight out the matrix, with obsidian black marble, high quality red sofas to sit on, and regular lights alit on the ceiling in two rows. The most notable thing was the television above a steel red door. It was currently off.
“What kind of grand hall is this? Hm? Is that one of those odd screens like at your manor?” Neighsay asked as he pointed towards the unlit screen.
“So it is. Hmph, it seems your ‘sthick’ isn’t the only thing he has stolen, Discord.” Chrysalis said with a half-hearted chuckle.
“Indeed.” Discord said as he shook his head at the shameful display. “Ah, Tirek, has to steal everything just to make himself feel big. He even does it literally. This is why his father never truly respected him. For all his attempts at compensation, he truly is just a speck of dust in the winds we call life.”
“Sure, okay. Look, can you guys stop acting like big shots and help with this door?” Smolder said as she was tapping her foot, annoyed, as Yona was already in the process of ramming at it to no avail.
Yona gave a good attempt, but when she rammed into it, the door barely budged. “Ouch! Ngh, did Yona bash through door?”
“Nope.” Gallus answered as he knocked on it. “Not even by a little.”
“Chrysalis, do you think this is some sort of trap?” You asked Chrysalis as you walked towards the screen. “I mean, it’s weird. Is this something he’d set up? I feel like he’s just going to zap us. I know what that screen is for, he’s probably gonna start talking pretty soon.”
“Oh, this is undoubtedly a trap, he just hasn’t sprung it yet. Tirek isn’t really one for petty distractions such as this unless he’s still too weak to do anything directly. Discord, you mentioned the staff’s limitations, what exactly does that mean for us?” Chrysalis asked sharply as she looked towards Discord’s direction.
“The worst thing of all… Rules. This room isn’t a trap, oh no no no, not at all. I can feel my magic coursing beyond that door. Tirek is expecting us to do something, probably those trials he mentioned. But don’t you worry your little buggy head. He still has to play by the rules too. Whatever he has set before us will have a way to be beaten. And with me on the team, we’ll be done in no time.” Discord said as he hopped onto the sofa and began to lay down. “Now let us just wait for the blowhard to contact us and tell us how doomed we are.”
“Blowhard, am I?” Called Tirek’s voice from all around the room.
You all looked over at the screen. There it was, it began to turn on as Tirek appeared on screen, smiling arrogantly with his arms behind his back, standing tall. Dammit, that madness from last night, you couldn’t see it in him now. What changed? And more noticeably, where was Cozy Glow? “Well, well, if it isn’t the worst villain ever. Okay, dude, are you serious with all this? You know you can’t manipulate Deus Ex Machina, right? That’s not how it works.”
Tirek smirked slightly as he responded. “Oh, I believe that now. But you see, outworlder, I’m not expecting to actually manipulate it myself. The trials I’ve set before you are to manipulate the world to your favor.”
“Our favor? What are you talking about, Tirek? I already know we’ll destroy you, so why would you knowingly make it worse for yourself?” Chrysalis questioned, eyeing him closely.
Tirek lifted a finger and pointed upwards, acting more jovial in a menacing manner. “And that’s the golden question, isn’t it? Let me explain something to you all. When I say I saw how I was defeated, I mean I saw everything that led up to it. It may surprise everypony but the outworlder here, but Equestria itself conspired against me before I set off my plan. Each element of harmony managed to achieve a key to that infernal box before they even knew I was out and about, with our dear princess obtaining the final key through some unforeseeable error on my part. At first, it truly did drive me mad just seeing how, little by little, I could see my plan was doomed to fail before it was even conceived.” Tirek turned around, arms to his backside as his voice became deeper and darker. “And then I had an epiphany.” Tirek then turned his head, smiling evilly. “I’ll create my own trials to be defeated, and for the sake of your own lives, you’ll complete each and every one to get to me.” Tirek then turned around, holding out his arms as his voice became grander. “You’ll have a full advantage against me, and yet, I will know exactly what is coming to me by design. Chrysalis at her full power, the outworlder with an extra set of tricks, the teamwork of a broken unicorn and her lowly subordinate, and of course, the resurgence of the elements of harmony. I’ll be able to bring out the best out of each and every one of you.” Tirek then outstretches his hand and closed it tightly. “..And I’ll crush each and every one of you as your gimmicks become at their most obvious. Your magic will become mine to bring me back to my true glory, and Chrysalis and Discord will be in their proper places to fully complete my spell.”
What in the fuck?
Discord got up from the couch, annoyed, as he pointed towards Tirek. “Excuse me! If you’re going to go down a list of magnificent feats, then you know you have to mention me as well. Or did you forget that I’m the most important being in the room?”
“Forget that, how the heck is that plan not crazy? Are you telling me you’re wasting all our time with some plan that can’t work? How are you supposed to beat us at our best? How do you beat the elements of harmony? Let me in there! I’ll blow you up myself!” Starlight growled as she bashed at the door with her hooves.
“She’s right, Tirek. And considering our group, you’re not gonna get sent back to Tartarus. We’re gonna make you a damned puddle of guts before we even need the elements.” You told him, stomping your hoof down. Even you were annoyed. “Christ! I’m going to fuck you up for what you did to them! To everyone!”
“You really don’t get it, do you?” Tirek just shrugged at your apparent ignorance. “I’ve seen practically everything you all have to bring against me. And your ace in the hole, the elements, are so slow that I’ll have plenty of time to act. Ahhh, I realized why you think I can’t win.” Tirek looked at you with an evil smile “But you see, that’s my secret. However, I am not without mercy. Discord, Chrysalis, should you choose to give up now…” Suddenly, the screen changed to a shot of four stasis tubes. While two were empty, one contained Twilight, and the other… Cozy Glow? “...I will allow the rest of you all to leave Equestria. You can take the ponies you’ve rescued thus far and make preparations to leave before my takeover. That is more than fair. What say you?”
Chrysalis just became incredibly disgusted with the offer. “I say you can take your offer and stuff it. I bow down to nocreature!”
“Wait… Is that Cozy? What, Tirek? You couldn’t resist betraying your partner?” Wow, you didn’t expect Cozy to get beaten so easily.
The screen shifts back to Tirek as he becomes more stoic. “An expected answer. Hm? Ah, her, believe it or not she asked for it. Seems my time dilation wasn’t truly self contained and everything she heard coming from my little bubble was too high pitched for her little ears. I admit, even I found her request to keep her asleep until things were ready a bit off.” Tirek then laughed at the entire prospect of it. “But who was I to argue?”
“Enough! I tire of these games. I tire of your empty threats, Tirek. It is clear to me you don’t have the power to stop us and thus, are stalling for time. In fact, your trials are nothing to me, for I can just open another gate to your keep and we can handle you from there.” Neighsay threatened, clearly tired of the conversation. "Using my magic to locate your position is but a simple thought to me."
“Hm? I wouldn’t recommend that. My rules are still in play, and should you choose to break them, I will end every pony within this town. One way or another, you will lose.” Tirek threatened, his tone becoming more serious.
Discord scoffed at those words, rolling his eyes. “Oh, come off it, Tirek. We both know you can’t do that with the staff’s current state. You’ve clearly brought the staff to its limits preparing for us, severing the connection with even one of those ponies now would blow us all up to smithereens. So, whatever your name is, just open the gate, even I tire of this needless and pointless prattling.”
“I’m aware of that, Discord.” Tirek says.
Wut?
“Tirek, you may have lost your mind, but even you wouldn’t do such a thing. What a laughable bluff that is.” Chrysalis scoffed.
“He isn’t bluffing, and he isn’t insane.” Tempest said.
“Tempest? What do you mean? There’s no way, right? He wouldn’t.” Even if Tirek wasn’t insane, the guy is way too arrogant and ambitious to do that.
“He would. He was sealed for a thousand years, only to come back to, what he knows now, was an eventual defeat. If he was insane, he’d have ended it already. No, he’s just putting everything he has into this plan. And if he even feels for a moment that fate is still against him, it’ll be enough confirmation for him to know there is no future for him beyond that point. He’ll destroy everything before he even has a chance to be sealed away. Am I right, Tirek?” Tempest said, giving him a hard stare.
“Perceptive. It’s true. Every evil doer before me failed due to some slip up they had made. And when the world had seen my plan was perfect, it conspired against me. I fear that, perhaps, the world itself is what drove my brother to betray me all those years ago. Well, if Equestria will not see me as its new king, then I will raze everything into nothing.” Tirek’s tone was more calm, even somber. “The tides have finally changed, and I will rule this world. None of you have any hope in defeating me. But now I’m rambling, so let us get on with it. Beyond this door is your first trial, it should be simple enough for you to solve. Throughout our game, there is to be no magic aside from the most basic of abilities. No spells, no incantations, no magical artifacts can be used beyond this point. Oh, and failing to follow the rules or completing the challenge will not end well for any of you. So please, try to take things seriously.”
“What? If you want us to pass, then why is there even a chance of losing?!” Shit, fucking treacherous fuck!
Tirek shrugged. “There’s always that one element of luck. As for the trial itself, it shouldn’t be too worrying, you merely need to get past a few of those fancy laser tripwires humans use. Good luck… Anon.” And with that, the screen shut itself off as the door began to open.
Well then, this wasn’t going to be easy after all.
The first trial was fucking Ocean’s Twelve, or Mission:Impossible, or some shit like that. The room had a tirade of vertical and horizontal red tripwires going every which way. It was even denser on the ceiling, ensuring none of the changelings could just scoot on through.
Across the room, on the wall, was a lever. Surely that had to be the goal, to pull that thing down.
“This is his first trial? Magical tripwires? No, wait, these are generated by this ‘human’ technology, correct?” Neighsay scoffed. “Surely he jests. Even without any spells, could we not just destroy the machines emitting the red lines?”
“Knowing Tirek, they’re probably shielded to prevent just that. And even then, they could be booby trapped. No, one of us has to be able to get through. Hey, Ocellus, do you think you could get through this? You’re smaller than Chrysalis.” You asked her.
Ocellus peered at the tripwires. So many of them were angled in so many ways, in so many tight spots. “I think? I-I don’t know. A lot of this looks really hard to maneuver through, and if I’m not careful with my wings, they might cross one of the lines.”
“So, even if we make an insy, weensy, tiny, little touch on any of them, we’re doomed?” Silverstream asked as she brought her face close to one and immediately got pulled back by Smolder.
“Yeah, so try not to get close unless you know how to get past them.” Smolder said, giving her a bit of a stink eye as Silverstream smiled back at her sheepishly.
“Puh, what are you guys worried about?” Grubber asked arrogantly as he closed his eyes and crossed his arms. “Did you forget we got Tempest? She can get past this no problem, right, Tempest?”
Tempest had already been surveying the room. She sighed with annoyance, she actually seemed to be pretty frustrated with the alignment of the lasers. “It can be done, but there’s no margin for error. Either I’m perfect or we’re fried.” Tempest began to stretch as she continued. “I need to be able to concentrate completely.”
“Alright, alright. You heard her. Everyone pipe down and let her do her work!” Grubber said as he began to wave down everyone.
“Oh, I genuinely want to see this.” Discord said as he popped in some popcorn. “Twenty bits say we’re fried.”
“What is wrong with you? You should be betting for her, not against her! Why are you even betting? This is a serious matter!” Neighsay said as he turned towards Discord, finding his words outrageous.
“Serious as it may be, it doesn’t mean I can’t make a game out of it. Besides, it was mentioned that she needs to be perfect. And as Twilight always says, nopony is perfect. She doesn’t speak for me, of course, but wise words nonetheless.” Discord said as he popped a few popcorn puffs into his mouth.
“Discord, I swear, if you don’t shut up, I’ll trip those lasers myself just to make sure you suffer.” Chrysalis threatened, stepping up to him, growling.
“Fine, fine. But only because Fluttershy hangs in the balance. Proceed.” Discord said, gesturing towards Tempest.
Tempest shook her head and sighed, and then prepared herself. She was about to rush forward, taking a few steps for a jump, when an unlikely source suddenly shouted out.
“Wait!” Yona cried out.
Tempest came to a near tripping halt, easily catching herself as she looked at Yona with a sharp and angry look. As calm and collected as she normally is, that sudden call out could have been a blunder, and she found it out of line. “What are you doing?! You could have doomed us all.”
Yona recoiled just a bit from her sudden harshness, but she would not relent. She felt like she had something important to say. “Yona know, and Yona sorry. But Yona had thought, and now knows if Tempest jump, Tempest fall for trap.”
“A trap? We already know there’s a trap! That trap being the lasers!” Grubber said as he marched up to Yona, pointing at her. “You better have a really good reason for nearly screwing Tempest up!”
“Yona does.” Yona said with a nod as she looked towards you with a determined look. “Anon, laser things human machine, right?”
Hm? “I, uh, yeah. I guess they really are thanks to the magic Tirek is using. But what does that have to do with anything?”
“Everything. Yona know it. Because Tirek be bad guy, right? Very bad?” Yona asked.
Chrysalis raised an annoyed eyebrow towards Yona. “That much should be obvious to you, yak. Did you seriously nearly doom us to state the obvious?”
“No, Yona thinking. Anon, can you give Smolder bit? Please?” Yona asked you.
You narrowed your eyes for a moment, confused as to why she’d asked that. But then, it suddenly dawned on you. But, how? Wasn’t this thick mesh of lasers the trap? What was Yona thinking? Either way, you felt she may be on to something and pull out the bit from your saddle bag. “Here.” You said as you flipped the coin towards her.
“Woah, what? What’s with you, Yona? Why give me a bit? What does that got to do with everything?” Smolder asked, confused as she caught the coin.
“Yona have hunch. Yona think Tirek set trap. So Yona want Smolder to throw bit forward, very hard, past laser things.” Yona said.
“Tempest, are you hearing this? You got interrupted for this?” Grubber asked, pointing at the scene with both his arms in disgust.
Tempest was silent, looking over at Yona, then at the lasers. “...I want to see where this is going.”
“You do? Hmph, I mean, of course you do. You did hear it, and if you think it’s worth watchin’, then I’m down. So go ahead, throw the coin!” Grubber said, turning his attention towards Smolder as his annoyance faded with Tempest's interest.
“So, just throw it as hard as I can?” Smolder asked, looking towards Yona. When Yona gave her a serious stare and a hard nod, she stared at the coin, and clutched it tight. “Okay then, I’m trusting you, Yona! Mnnn HYAAAH!” Smolder reeled back her fist, and launched her arm forward, sending the coin past the lasers like a bullet. And as it did, some of the lasers began to immediately turn towards where the coin last was, missing it due to its speed. “W-woah, did everycreature see that!”
“I did! Discord, what the hell is that!? I thought you said he couldn’t cheat!” Chrysalis said with renewed and unbridled anger. “Explain yourself!”
Discord shrugged. “There’s nothing to explain. That’s how he set things up before we got here. Really, Chrysalis, you should know how much of a louse Tirek is. This is why his father never respected him, always taking the easy route. This is why he’s always stealing magic, never ever wants to work towards anything. Tsk tsk, what a lowly being he is.”
“She’s right, you miserable amalgamation of ridiculousness! Be more clear with us, or else I’ll see to it you are placed back in Princess Celestia’s garden as an ugly statue.” Neighsay said with a sharp leer towards Discord.
Discord just inaudibly mocked his words as he gave a dismissive and lazy wave towards Neighsay, finding his threat to be nothing.
As for you, you were amazed. Yona saved all of you by predicting Tirek’s trap. “Yona, did you manage to figure that out because of our project?”
Yona nodded. “Mhmm, Yona remember how tricky Jimmy was. Tirek not much better, he has big mouth like Jimmy.”
“Yona, that was awesome! Nocreature managed to figure it out except for you! You gotta teach me how to think like that!” Sandbar said, utterly enthralled by Yona’s logic.
Yona just blushed, turning away from Sandbar as she gave him a light wave. “It nothing, Yona just remember project and put things together.”
“Well, I hate to be ‘that griffon’, but we still need to figure out how to actually get passed the tripwires. Is it even possible?” Gallus asked as he looked back towards the laser grid.
“Hmmm.” This one was actually pretty damn tough. How was anyone supposed to get to that lever? Maybe someone could trick the lasers so someone else could slip through. Though, even that would prove to be a massive challenge. It’d only take-whaAGEDFDGFGDFGDFGDFGDF “DSGDSFDSFSDF”
You didn’t have time to react as a dark aura came upon your head and yanked it from the hardened glue that was currently your neck. The next thing you knew you were sent hurtling past the laser grid and towards the lever. You end up deepthroating the damn thing as the weight of your head brings it down. Almost immediately, the laser grid shuts down as the steel doors slowly open, revealing an elevator.
“Hell yeah! Did everycreature see that?! I’m the best! I’m the best! You hear that, Tirek!” Starlight said as she began to cheer for herself as she looked around the room. “You don’t stand a chance! I’m smarter than you! I have a better mane than you! And I’m just plain better! UNNNNNNGH!” Starlight groaned as she raised her hooves up, as if she was doing a ‘rock metal’ pose.
“Wow! That was awesome, Counselor Starlight!” Silverstream said with a cheer as she flew over to your headless body and gave it a gentle pat. “And you too! I should have known the hero colt could use his head for more than just thinking. I wish I could do that.”
You just let out a gargled groan with the lever still deepthroating your head. You were glad nobody was around to make an innuendo out of this, because this had to be your most humiliating moment.
“Now, we just put this back here, and with my patented yet simple glue from my talon, it should be as good as new. There!” Discord said with a grin as he stuck your head onto your body. You expected him to put it upside down as a joke, but he didn’t, he seemed to understand the direness of the situation. It felt kinda warm though.
“Wow, Mister Discord, you made Hero Colt Anon look just like he was before! I mean, well, right before.” Silverstream said in amazement. “And his head isn’t wobbling at all! What kind of glue is that?”
“Well, to be truthful, it is a patent pending. It’s just a little sticky and warm goo that comes deep from within, that’s all.” Discord said as he shook off the rest of the glue from his talon.
Sticky and warm goo?! He wouldn’t! “A-are you serious?! Please tell me it isn’t ‘that’ kind of goo!”
“What kind of goo?” Silverstream asked.
“What kind of goo indeed.” Discord said as he gave you a sneaky grin.
“Don’t play around with me, ‘Dad’! I know you’re not even PG rated enough to do something like that!” You said with a growl, feeling disgusted deep within.
“PG rated? Is that some kind of code rating for glue?” Silverstream asked Discord.
“Why, yes it is! But mine just happens to be R rated. Restricted for only those who are most deserving. Isn’t that right, Anon?” Discord said, his grin growing wider. “I mean, it works, doesn’t it? No need to cause a fuss within this cramped elevator, right?”
Chrysalis actually was snickering, you could hear her. However, of course, Neighsay didn’t find any of this amusing. “Yes, we can see it works. Considering now is not the time for any of these questions nor, from what I can surmise, jokes, we need more information from you, Discord. I understand now Tirek cannot manipulate these trials further, what we encounter will be what we get. But how far can his treachery go? Can he make these trials impossible to pass in any way?”
“Depends, he certainly could, as that would just simply be referred to as a trap. However, now that I am so close to the source of his power, that being one half my own power, I can tell you without a doubt that Tirek has something to prove. We merely must complete these trials, recover the staff, and everything else will fall into place. I can sense the staff is at its limit, Tirek isn’t that much of a fool, he won’t use it further.” Discord said.
“What about his threat about cheating his trials? Would he follow through with that?” Tempest asked.
Discord shrugged “Who can tell? I’ve never known him to do something like that. But then again, I didn’t expect him to ally himself with a filly. Again, copying his superior for no reason other than jealousy that I pulled it off so well. But I digress, I believe it’s best to play by his rules for now. If only because seeing his face when we still win will be oh so great.”
Suddenly, the speakers within the elevator began to blare with Tirek’s voice. “I wouldn’t speak of your victory so soon, Discord. That was merely the first trial.”
“Ah, there he is. Look, Tirek, I don’t want to hear your usual nonsense this time. I know you’re just dying to tell us about your next trial and how we have no hope to pass it.” Chrysalis said with nary a care for Tirek’s disposition.
“You act as if that is my intent.” Tirek said.
“You’d be fooling yourself if it wasn’t. If these trials were as easy as you previously described, then you wouldn’t have made that trick right from the get go.” Chrysalis began to snicker. “What? Not enough power in your little staff for a real game changer?”
“Hmph, believe what you wish to believe.” Tirek said, sounding a little less dismissive than he should for the moment.
“Well, I believe I kicked your trial’s butt! C’mon, don’t you have any harder ones?! I was totally a better villain than you were! I was gonna master time travel, y’know?” Starlight said, ever so bold due to that curse. A curse you hope didn’t become a detriment at some point.
“Yes, Tirek, did you hear that? Time travel. Now be a dear and just explain your next trial so we can also pass it with ease.” Chrysalis said, arrogant as ever.
Tirek was silent for a moment, but he retained his calm demeanor as he spoke. “Very well. The next trial should be a simple one. So simple even a foal should be able to complete it. All you need to do is follow the cup with the acorn in it. Simple to understand, don’t you think? My only rule is not to touch anything. If you wish to give me the solution to which cup holds the acorn, you merely just need to speak it as your final answer.”
“Surely you’re joking! A shell game? That’s it?! And what’s to stop you from moving the acorn without us being able to move the cup ourselves?! You can just lie and doom us all!” Neighsay shouted.
“Well, if you do it your way and touch any of my cups, then you doom yourself anyway. So, from where I’m standing, you either do as I say or just forfeit where you stand.” Tirek said as the elevator came to a stop. “It’s your choice. Good luck!” And with that, Tirek stopped speaking.
“Why that..!” Neighsay said with a growl before looking towards Discord. “Be truthful with me…” Neighsay paused. He almost said something to insult Discord again, but held back, just choosing to address him by name to avoid any needless pushback from him.”...Discord. Is there any way he can cheat us? Are you certain he can’t?”
Discord just stepped out of the elevator, paying little mind to Neighsay himself as he answered his question. “As I said, he can’t manipulate what he has already set. If there’s a trick to the trial, we’ll just have to figure it out. But this one should be easy, it’s just following a cup with an acorn after all.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure on that. The shell game can be pretty rough even if done legit. If you know your mark, you can always shuffle the cups in a way to make them guess wrong every time.” Gallus remarked.
“How do you know that, Gallus?” Sandbar asked.
“I’m a griffon, remember? You gotta know these things if you’re gonna survive in Griffonstone” Gallus replied as he stepped forward with the rest of the group.
And this trial room? Very simple in design, the floor had a carpet centered on the floor that led to the glass floor, or rather, what seemed to be a mirrored floor. However, there was only one golden cup in the center of the mirrored floor. Why one? “Uhhh, is that it? One cup? Where are the other two?”
“I don’t know. Oh! Perhaps the trick is that they are invisible!” Ocellus said, smiling at the realization before her mood suddenly came crashing down. “Which means we have no real way of knowing which cup even has the acorn. Shouldn’t we be able to see it before anything else?”
“Nah, I don’t think they’re invisible, it’d make it impossible to even say which cup we wanna pick. I betcha that’s the cup that has the acorn. Now, if I was a sneaky little weasel like Tirek, I’d just have a load of other cups suddenly come down and just start shuffling at super quick speeds.” Suddenly, as Grubber said that, forty nine more cups came down, and immediately began to shuffle at breakneck speeds. “U-uh, e-er… Um, kinda like that.”
Before anyone could even say anything, or even figure out what was going on, the cups stopped.
“Tirek! Grrr, he did that on purpose! Grawr!” Chrysalis said in a rage before looking towards you. “Anon, surely you saw what the correct cup was!”
D-dammit, it caught you off guard, there was no way you could be prepared for it. “N-no, I… Dammit, I didn’t catch it at all. Tempest, what about you? You managed to follow it, right?”
Tempest shook her head with a sorrowful frown. “I can’t say that I did. I should have known someone like Tirek would have made a move like that. What about you, Discord? Did you manage to catch it?”
“Huh, what? Hm? What now?” Discord said as he plucked a piece of candy from his eye and popped it in his mouth.
You suddenly exploded at him, pointing at him in rage. “Are you telling me that you, of all creatures, didn’t pay attention to which cup had the acorn?!”
“What now?” Discord said as he took a glance over at the cups. “Oh, yes, that.” Discord then looked at you with a cordial smile. “Nope.”
Your body twitched in a rage as you jumped up and attempted to choke Discord. “You motherfucker! How are you not taking this seriously when FluttersGYAH!” You were blown back into the wall as Discord exploded in your hooves. “U-ugh..”
“Well, if we’re done with the games. I think I actually have the solution to this.” Neighsay said.
“Hm? Well then, seems you are good for something. So, which cup is it then?” Chrysalis asked, seemingly impressed with Neighsay’s apparent observation.
“None. It’s obvious Tirek wants us to make some kind of guess only to reveal that the acorn is under none of the cups. Why else would he not give us a chance to even see it?” Neighsay said, a self satisfied grin on his face for his impressive answer.
“No” Both you and Chrysalis said at the same time.
“No? How can you say ‘no’? Tirek is a liar and a cheat, just like with that room with the tripwires. That is obviously the trick to this room.” Neighsay argued.
“Except he’s also not an idiot, at least not as much as we'd hope to expect. It’s much too obvious an answer.” Chrysalis said.
“Yeah, there's the acorn alright, it’s just a matter of figuring out which cup has it. There has to be a trick to it. We know the cup that was already there had to have the acorn, since it wasn’t anywhere else on the glass. But which one is it? We only got a two percent chance of picking the right one.” You said as you neared the glass floor, staring at the cups. You then looked back at Tempest. “Tempest, do you have any ideas?”
Tempest, sadly, shook her head. “Other than using my horn to try to blast all the cups at once, nothing. And no doubt it’d just count as a loss on our side anyway.”
Grubber started to rub under his chin as he stared at the cups. “There’s gotta be somethin’.”
Starlight just rolled her eyes and laid down on the floor. “Screw this, I’m relaxing on this carpet until somepony comes up with something. And that’s right, I said screw! Screw this whole thing, it’s getting boring!”
Geez, she’s getting worse. The only thing you can hope for is she instantly blasts Tirek, during the eventual final confrontation, into nothing before he can act.
Meanwhile, the young six were doing their own investigation among themselves. Well, mostly. Silverstream had separated from the group to walk up towards the mirrored floor, and began to stare down upon it. It caught Gallus’s eye, and he went up next to her to ask what she was doing. “Hey, Silverstream, be careful. We lose if you touch the glass. you know?”
“Yeah, I know. But isn’t it weird?” Silverstream said as she looked down at the mirrored floor from the carpeted part, almost like she was in a trance.
“Weird? What’s so weird about it? It’s a mirror. Besides, I know which cup it is anyway, just trying to figure out what the trick is before I call it out. Could be a trap.” Gallus said as he looked down upon the floor. “Like, I don’t see anything at all.”
“Well, that’s the thing, don't our reflections look all ghosty?” Silverstream said as she waved towards herself.
“Ghosty?” Gallus asked, confused.
“Yeah, like you can see right through them, see?” Silverstream said as she pointed downwards. “You’d think we’d be able to see through the cups too. Weird, right?”
“What?!” Gallus looked harder, narrowing his eyes. And that's when he saw it, the trick to the whole thing. “Woah, Silverstream, you’re a genius.”
“I am? Because I noticed the weird reflections?” Silverstream asked, confused, before giggling. “Are you messing with me?”
“No, just stay here. I think I got this one.” Gallus said as he flew towards and above the center of the glass floor, and pointed towards the tenth cup in the second row. “Yo, Tirek! I’m picking this cup!”
Gallus’s cry caught the attention of everyone. Chrysalis immediately flew into a rage as she called out towards the griffon. “Idiot! What are you doing?!”
“Gallus! What the hay!? What up?! You can't just call things out without talking to us first!” Smolder called out to him, astonished at his call out.
…
…
…Did he figure it out? Normally, you may have gotten surprised like the others, but Yona was able to figure out the tripwire room with ease. None of you had any ideas. So if Gallus had one, then maybe, just maybe, he had good justification to do what he was doing now. “Gallus, did you figure it out?”
Gallus nodded towards you. “I did. Well, Silverstream did. But I know which cup has the acorn thanks to her. Just trust me on this one, I figured out the trick.”
“He can’t be serious. What happened with the yak was a fluke. If we can’t figure it out, then how can we expect to leave things to him?” Neighsay said as he looked to the rest of you. “We need to stop him.”
“No, let him try. We don’t even know if there is a time limit to this. We were most likely doomed by not acting. So it is either this, or nothing.” Tempest said as he stared hard at Neighsay. She then looked over at you with a softer look. “What do you think, Anon? Do you think it's part of that prophecy you dreamed of?”
You nodded. “It has to be, otherwise we’re fucked.”
Gallus yelled as he pointed again. “Hey! I said it was that cup, right over there! Didn’t you hear me?”
Suddenly, a dark chuckle filled the room. “Oh, I heard you.” A panel above the next elevator flipped around, revealing a tv screen, Tirek’s stupid mug appearing as it turned on. “I was just savoring the moment. So, you’re all leaving the decision to this griffon? Very well. Tell me, are you aware you only get one chance at this? Consider my warning a generous word of caution, as you may want to think harder.”
“You heard me, dog breath. I’m pointing at the right cup!” Gallus said, pointing towards the cup again.
The cup began to glow, Tirek’s disposition becoming more stoic as he asked “Is that your final answer then?”
Gallus looked down at the glowing cup. “Not that one! The one below it!”
Wut?
No, wut? Everyone was confused.
But then, more importantly, Tirek looked annoyed.
“The one below it? Surely you jest, griffon. Are you aware the floor is a mirror?” Tirek said to him.
“Nice try, pal. And the name is Gallus! And if you knew anything about griffons, then you’d know we rule the shell game. We know how to rig it any way we want. And if you were half as good as we were, you would have made things a little less obvious.” Gallus said as he pointed towards the screen with a smirk. “I pick the cup under it, final answer.”
Tirek suddenly growled as he slammed his hands down. “How?! How did you figure it out?!” He shouted as the cup under the glass floor began to glow, and drop down, revealing the acorn clinging to the glass from underneath. With that, all the cups disappeared as the elevator began to open.
“C’mon, really? Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m a griffon. Have you never been to Griffonstone before? You can’t do this kinda stuff there unless you’re a master at it. The moment we stepped into this place, I figured out what was going on and followed that cup. Only thing then was to figure out your really lame trick. So, I gotta ask, why don’t you just give up? Because, seriously? This is really embarrassing. For you, I mean.” Gallus said, before laughing at him. “Seriously, our old folks are worse than you are!”
“You impudent little…! GRRR!” Tirek punched towards the screen, causing the image to turn to white static.
“Well, well, I’m not one to admit things like this, but I stand corrected in my assumption.” Chrysalis said, before smirking and giving a girlish shrug as she walked over to the elevator. “But I get it. Just like those meddlesome elements ruined the plans of villains before them, these elements are destined to do the same. Alright, I’m convinced, I’ll just leave it to them. I just want everycreature to remember that in the end, those two are mine.”
“Awww, man. Are you telling me Tempest ain’t gonna get a chance to beat any of these things? What a rip!” Grubber said as he kicked the ground.
“It’s fine, Grubber. As Chrysalis said, it looks like they’re destined to beat these trials. It looks like there’s nothing to worry about. Wouldn’t you say, Chancellor?” Tempest said as she gave a sneaky smirk towards him.
Neighsay gave her a grumpy look, then sighed as he looked down, closing his eyes. “...Fine, perhaps my biases are, or have been, a little more than just mere biases. Even I have to admit that we’d have been doomed without these students. I was wrong to reject the notion of bringing them along.” Neighsay then slowly looked at them, then towards the elevator. “If they truly are the new elements of harmony… No, even being students, bright stars to a better future, I will act as their protector an-Hey!” Neighsay suddenly got pushed aside as Starlight headed towards the elevator. Tempest and Grubber following after.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re having your ‘heel-turn' moment. Save it for when we’re done, gramps.” Starlight said.
“Gramps? Now see here…” Neighsay began to follow her, complaining at her as to why she was wrong and how prestigious and important his position was.
You just stared at the young six, they were celebrating, congratulating Gallus for a job well done. It made you smile, and you didn’t know why. Discord stepped up next to you, giving you a gentle pat along your one ear. “Let me guess, happy to know that they’re good friends, and are on their way to being completely accepted?”
“Yeah, I-Wait, Discord? Huh, already back from exploding again, huh?” You said as you looked up at him. “Not going to be an ass this time?”
“I suppose not, especially since we’re close to saving her… And the rest, I guess. To tell you the truth, I’m feeling a little disappointed when it comes to one aspect of this little adventure.” Discord said sorrowfully.
Hm? “What? What is it?”
“I was actually hoping you’d get to strike down Tirek. That way you become, I don’t know, the super hero colt or something like that. Imagine how much I’d be able to lord over Twilight that my son saved Equestria.” Discord said with a little chuckle.
“...But she knows I’m not your son, remember?” You said, looking up at Discord, confused.
Discord suddenly looked down at you, arms on his sides, with a frustrated look. “You just had to go and immediately shatter my dreams, didn’t you?”
You shrugged, grinning at him. “Well, you know. Anyway, thanks for believing in me, I guess. C’mon, let’s just go save Fl-”
“Ahhh! Don’t say her name!” Discord said as he clamped your mouth shut.
“S-sorry… C’mon, we’re nearly there. Are you ready to do this?” You said as you raised your hoof towards him.
Discord looks down at your hoof. He grinned, and reached down to give it a fist bump. “Let’s do it, chaos buddy!”
It was mostly dark and silent this time. You found yourself in deep thought. These trials were much more difficult than Tirek indicated. Hell, they were so difficult that you believed you were getting by with Deus Ex Machina yourself as the quick thinking of some of the young six have managed to get you and your group through thus far.
However, the question was why were they so difficult? Tirek had inferred they’d be easy for all of you so he’d be able to take advantage of the turn around that was Deus Ex Machina, but it seems it was all a lie. He seemed so enamored with the idea before, so why the tricks?
Or maybe, you should be looking at what the trick can be in reverse? These trials, so far, have been proving his theory inversely. Now, you don't truly know if Deux Ex Machina actually existed in this world, despite it really seeming like it. But, when it comes to Tirek, he may have dropped the idea altogether. Not to try to trick you all, but because he got scared and became doubtful. He mentioned seeing how he truly got defeated, maybe that was it. Maybe he was telling the truth on his realization of how he’s ‘destined to lose’. These trials could have originally started easy, but in his panic, he used the staff’s power to make them difficult.
If that was the case, and the staff was in a critical state, then this was it. All you and your team had to do was pass the trials and kick his ass with zero resistance. Tirek is too weak to deal with the group on his own and Cozy is in that sleeping pod.
Good lord, he made things too easy.
“Tirek, I know you can hear me. What happened to your little plan? Hm?” You said while looking around the elevator. There was no answer. “...Not gonna say anything, huh? I figured it out, you know? And I know you used whatever magic you had left to change your trials. I also know that you don’t have any for yourself. Give up, Tirek. We’re gonna rip you to shreds when we get to you. Give up now and I’ll make sure Chrysalis doesn’t rip you apart.”
“Hmph, don’t lie to him, Anon. If what you say is true, then I want him quivering with fear. I want to taste it.” Chrysalis said, baring a malicious grin.
“What are you doing, Anon?” Ocellus asked, confused why you were acting so foreboding and arrogant.
“Easy, I figured him out. The way he got angry, the way he tried to misdirect Gallus. He screwed up for sure.” You say as you begin to look around again. “Isn’t that right, Tirek? I know how Deus Ex Machina works, dude. It’s over for you, we’re gonna crush every trial you got with ease. Give up, or else!”
“...You shouldn’t talk like that, outworlder. You haven’t won yet. And you have no idea what I have in store for you, for all of you.” Said Tirek through the speaker. His voice was low, and angry.
“Get bent! You were right when you said destiny had it out for you. You have no chance! Hell, maybe if you stuck to your plan you would have had some power from the staff to pull your own Deus Ex, but you screwed up! I guess not having Cozy around gave you cold hooves. You’re not buff enough to take us all on by yourself. So last chance, give it up!” You said with an evil cackle. “Do it, because there is no future for you after this!”
“Silence! I won’t hear any of this! Trust me, outworlder. No, Anon! I won’t destroy you next time. No, I’ll make sure you get to see me drain the magic of all those you hold dear. I’ll destroy each and every one of them! Their destruction will be on YOUR hooves, and I’ll make sure you live many a moon to contemplate on that!” Tirek said with a rageful growl.
Chrysalis made an audible yawn. “Yes, we’re oh so terrified of your empty threat. Just tell us what the next trial is so we can hurry this up. I have a car to clean, ponies have been sleeping in it.”
“Oh, I’ll tell you. Oh yes, I’ve been waiting for you all to reach this particular one. Tell me, how do you all feel about jigsaw puzzles?” Tirek said, in a dark and slimy tone as he calmed his anger.
“Ha! I totally got this! Me and my siblings have crushed every puzzle we can get our hooves on! Bring it on!” Sandbar said, feeling confident he can complete the trial.
“Oh, then this will be very fun to watch. So then, let me lay out the details for you all. The next chamber will have a wall. Don’t worry, you’ll know what I mean by that when you see it. Beside it will be a very large and rather deep pit filled with jigsaw pieces.” Tirek said, his voice becoming even darker.
“A-a pit full of jigsaw pieces? W-what does that mean?” Sandbar asked, as he began to relent.
“Oh, I’m glad you asked. The task is simple, use the jigsaw pieces to make sure every tiny little inch of that wall is covered. Simple, right? Although, I should mention that the pit contains one billion pieces, half of them being fakes. And perhaps I should also mention that when those elevator doors open, you’ll only have ten minutes to complete the puzzle.” Tirek let out a boisterous laugh. “There is no way you fools will be able to get out of this one. Deus Ex Machina or no, there is nothing in this world that can make this easy for you. Now then, the timer starts once the elevator doors open, so I'd suggest you be quick. Goodbye, Anon, I shall enjoy watching you squirm most of all.” And with that, Tirek went silent as the elevator doors began to open.
“That fiend! I thought the challenge couldn’t be made impossible!” Neighsay said as he turned towards Discord with a scowl.
“Ahrm, well…” Discord said with a gulp as he tugged at his neck like a collar. “Technically, it can be done, it’s just that the chances are very slim. Perhaps it isn’t as bad as he made it sound.”
When the doors fully opened, you all found Discord’s words to be twisted by the irony of the situation. Oh god, there was a wall to the left side, marked with creases in the shape of jigsaw pieces. In front of it, on its right side, was the gigantic pit of jigsaw pieces. Towards the next elevator was a screen with a timer on it, and it was already going down. “...Shit.”
“Arrrrrgh! How is this even fair!?” Starlight said with a growl as she dashed towards the pit, pulling out pieces and just throwing them at the wall as they stuck into place. “Come on! Come on! All we gotta do is throw them all on at once!”
Neighsay just observed the wall, his ears folding as he finally began to show signs of discouragement. “Surely there must be a way to beat this. We can’t just lose here, Equestria itself is counting on us.”
“This is way beyond me. Tempest, you got something?” Grubber asked as he just stared at the desperate Starlight throwing pieces onto the board.
“No. Ten minutes isn’t even enough time to solve the puzzle, we don’t even have any idea what the solution looks like. We have no clues.” Tempest said as she looked back at the clock.
“Yona afraid to admit, but yaks not so great at jigsaw puzzles.” Yona said with a fearful gulp. “S-sandbar? D-do you have plan?”
“I don’t even know where to start! There’s just no way we can do this, even if we all tried to figure it out together. There’s too many pieces, and half of them are fake! Augh!” Sandbar suddenly broke down, falling to his ass as he began to feel hopeless. “I totally realize why everypony told me not to ‘pull an Anon!’”
Wut? “There’s a thi-what? What does that even mean?”
Sandbar sank to the floor, shaking in panic. “I-it’s when you act like you totally got it, but you actually totally don’t!”
…Goddammit.
“There’s gotta be some sort of trick to it!” Smolder said as she stared at the wall. “We can’t give up now!” She then looked back at the timer, her fist shaking in a hard grip. “Darn it, Isn’t there a way? Yo, Anon’s dad, can’t you use your magic to just solve it instantly?”
“Trust me, I’d love to for the obvious reasons. But as Tirek said, only basic abilities can be used for these trials. Chaos magic isn’t basic in any way, shape, or form. Even magic that mimics the basic abilities of a unicorn are quite advanced. Just ask Anon, he was hilariously inept in his early days of spellcasting.” Discord said as he walked over to the jigsaw pieces and picked one up, staring at it. “Hm, well, if it helps any, I can tell you the picture we’re trying to assemble is Tirek’s face.” Discord shrugged as he tossed the piece away. “Even in our eventual demise, he simply can’t be original. Disgusting.”
“Sandbar, you okay?” Yona asked, as others began to either panic, get angry, or lose hope.
“No! I feel like this is my fault. This is the kind of stuff that happens in comics! Except we’re not winning in the end! I haven’t even done anything for anypony since we got here. All I’ve done is screw things up!” Sandbar said as he held his legs over his head, shaking and languishing at the thought of it being over.
“But it not your fault! Yona know it just Tirek being great big jerk. Anon right about changes to Trial, but Yona know there always some way to beat them. Yona know all wall have to be covered. Maybe there way to do that?” Yona asked, hoping to come up with something with Sandbar, as the timer was already reaching the halfway mark.
“I mean, you’d think it’d be easy. He said we gotta cover up the entire wall, right? We don’t have anything other than these stupid puzzle pieces! It's not like we can just transform into a big board to cover it up! Only Ocellus can do that and she can’t do that because… Wait.” Sandbar’s eyes suddenly widened when he came to realize a certain something. He turned his head towards Ocellus and waved his hoof to catch her attention. “Ocellus! You can turn into a giant board, right?”
Ocellus became timid, more worried about the declining time over anything else. “W-well, technically, yes. But why are you asking that?”
“Because! You’re a changeling! Isn’t, like, natural for a changeling to, well, change into stuff?” Sandbar asked.
“Well, yes, of course. But I still don’t understand.” Ocellus said, confused by what Sandbar was getting at.
“That jerk, Tirek said we can only use basic things to help us in the trials. I think you can transform! I think if you turn into a giant board, you can cover up that wall and it might work! What do you think?” Sandbar asked, as his hope began to return to him. “I know it’s totally cheating, but it’s the only thing I can think of!”
“But he said we weren’t allowed to use magic!” Ocellus said, worrisome of Sandbar’s suggestion.
“No, he said like, spells and stuff! We’re running out of time! If we don’t try something, we’re doomed!” Sandbar exclaimed as he pleaded with Ocellus. “You gotta try, Ocellus. It’s literally the only chance we got!”
“B-but…” Ocellus froze as a million things flew through her head. Was it a good plan? Could she do it? Would she be the one to doom everyone? Was there a better way? She had no idea. She looked at the wall, then back at Sandbar, then towards the every dwindling clock. “Two minutes left… Nocreature else has come up with anything yet. I-I’m gonna try it. Even if we lose, at least I can say I tried.” Ocellus walked towards the wall, and began to concentrate as hard as she could. “I-I really hope this works. Ngh!” With a flash of green light, Ocellus changes herself into a giant board as she jumped towards the wall. Her eyes were in the center, closed. “Please don’t be doomed, please don’t be doomed, please don’t be doomed.”
“What’s this? She used magic, and yet, nothing has happened to us. What is going on? What is she doing?” Neighsay asked, confused as to why they were not destroyed, as well as confused about Ocellus’s actions.
“It worked!” Sandbar said with a cheer. “Her changing didn’t make us lose! And… Oh no, Ocellus, is that all you can cover?”
Ocellus gulped. “Y-yes. I thought I’d be able to get the whole wall. B-b-but, it wasn’t even half.” Indeed, even with Ocellus’s best efforts, it wasn’t enough to cover the wall.
Wait… “Were you guys trying to use Ocellus to cover the wall?” You asked.
Sandbar nodded. “Yeah. B-but, ngh! We have less than two minutes! I thought we had it! What else can we do?!”
…It wasn’t hard to figure out, actually. Clearly Sandbar was more thinking within his own friend group rather than the whole group altogether. You look over at Chrysalis. “Hey, Chrysalis, do you think you can cover the other half?”
“Of course I can. Unless my dear little Ocellus has a problem with that. You don’t, do you?” Chrysalis asked, staring at her dead in the eye.
“W-what?!” Ocellus said, extremely nervous from the prospect.
“We only have a minute and you want to play your mind games now?!” Neighsay said, baffled as he stared at the clock, becoming angry that she would delay a possible win with so little time left. “You’re going to doom us all with your lowly pettiness!”
“Chrysalis, he’s right. Look, you know I’m usually with you on stuff like this, b-” But as you tried to talk some sense into her, Ocellus spoke up on her own.
“Please, help me. I don’t have a problem with it! A-and, I really am sorry that we all just… Left you. I didn’t know you were suffering because of us. I didn’t know we could hurt you like that at all. We didn’t believe you could feel hurt. Please, I don’t want to be afraid of you anymore. But I know you still despise some of us. And I understand why too. I can let go of my fear of you, but y-” But then, in turn, Chrysalis cuts off Ocellus as she approaches her and changes into the bigger board to cover the rest of the wall.
“Fine, alright! I just wanted you to admit you needed me. That ‘King’ really has ruined all of you. We’ll need to have an actual discussion, on my terms, when this is all over.” Chrysalis said as the room began to darken.
Sandbar was fixated on the clock, all of you were. But a moment after the jigsaw wall was covered, the screen with the clock shut off, and the elevator doors began to open. Sandbar fell to his back, exhaling harshly in relief. “OOoooogh, ooooh… It totally worked.”
“Sandbar and Ocellus did it! Sandbar smartest pony! Ocellus best Changeling! I must dance the dance of cheer!” Yona exclaimed as she began to dance and stomp around, causing everyone but Discord to fumble over, and for Ocellus and Chrysalis to fall away from the wall as they reverted back to their original selves. Thankfully, it seemed, the celebration wasn’t too early as them coming off the wall didn’t reinstate the timer.
Another trial down. You looked back at Ocellus and Chrysalis before entering the elevator to the next trial. You were hoping for something to happen, you waited, wanting. But Chrysalis said nothing, she didn’t look upon Ocellus, and just walked towards the elevator like everyone else.
But then, as you sighed and went to join them, Ocellus came up to your side. “Anon.”
Hm? “Oh, hey! Good job, Ocellus! That was really brave of you. Considering, you know, it could have counted as cheating and obliterated us all.”
“Thanks, Anon. And, you know, I didn’t really get to finish what I wanted to say to Chrysalis before. But, um, I thought about it a bit more. And, erm, can I tell you what I’d want to say to her right now?” Ocellus asked, looking at you with shimmering eyes.
“Sure, I’m pretty curious about that. What did you want to tell her?” Damn, you were really curious. There were so few words shared that you had to wonder if some emotional bond was made of some sort.
“I just wanted to tell her that, I like how strong she is. I always felt it was just her evilness, and maybe before, it was. But she’s so brave, and nothing seems to hold her back. I.. I really respect that, and, I…” Ocellus sighed. “I do feel bad, I really do, about how everything went all that time ago. I really wish things went differently.”
“I don’t” You say with certainty.
“Y-you don’t?” Ocellus asked in confusion.
“I don’t. If it hadn't happened, Chrysalis wouldn’t be the changeling she is now. Deep down, she’s become loving, kind, and sweet. And I’m going to ask you to never tell her I said that, for obvious reasons.” You say with a nervous little chuckle.
“I won’t, and I understand. D-do you think we’re almost there?” Ocellus asked.
“I don’t know, but we have to stay alert. Every one of these trials are dangerous. If we can’t continue to figure them out, we’ll be sunk.” You tell her.
“Well… Don’t worry. I’m sure with every single one of us here, one of us will always figure it out.” Ocellus said, giving you a reassuring smile.
Huh, that was a sudden burst of confidence from her. It actually made you feel calm and confident. “Yeah, you’re right.”
All of you were tense, mostly, Discord wasn’t, and Starlight just looked like she wanted to blast something with her eyes glowing like that, but everyone else was tense.
“So, what do you think the next trial will be? He hasn’t said anything yet, so I’m thinking he’s not feeling so well with how we’re doing so far.” Smolder said, arms crossed as she felt a little smug about the situation.
“I just want this to be over. It’s rough not having a neck… Or depth perception.” You state, tapping your eye patch.
“Discord, that isn’t permanent, is it?” Chrysalis asked as she stared at you, stoically.
“Only if Anon’s head or body is destroyed. Which, ahrm, would be a rather permanent negative solution to his current issue. Nevertheless, it can be undone with a little effort in finding the rest of him. I’m surprised you’re even worried about that, you actually care that much?” Discord said as he stepped to your side, giving you an annoyingly gentle pat.
“Discord.” Chrysalis said, rolling her eyes as she grew frustrated with him. “We’re well past the point for that.”
“No, no, I mean you actually care about putting him back together? Think about it. With him looking like that, the next time somepony threatens to destroy Equestria, all we have to do is chuck Anon’s head at them and the day is saved! Really, I have been considering whether putting him back together is even worth it.” Discord said as he gave you a heavier pat, making you even more aggravated with him.
“How can you be Anon’s dad?! Do you know how incredibly uncool that is?” Sandbar said, suddenly speaking up for you.
“Ahrm? Uncool? Me? And how can somepony like you say that about a chaos spirit like me? And save it if you’re going to try to lecture me on how to treat him. I’ve been down that road so many times before that potholes have begun to appear. Besides, wasn’t there a bug in this very elevator who was treating Anon horribly because of this and that? And I don’t mean Chryssi. I didn't see you saying anything to her.” Discord said as his eyes shifted towards Ocellus.
Ocellus gulped, knowing exactly what he meant. “I-if… I… I apologized for that. I was just scared, and I already know that isn’t a good excuse. C-can we please not fight?”
“I agree with Ocellus, now is especially not the time to argue about anything.” Tempest’s glare sharpened as she looked over towards Discord. “Keep your jokes to a minimum. I don’t want to have to subdue you.”
Discord started to laugh, pointing at her. “You?! You subdue me?! NoSDGFDSGDFGDFGDFG” Suddenly, Tempest shifted right towards him, and even without the powerful explosive magic bolts from her broken horn, she was able to tie him into a pretzel with just her hooves.
Chrysalis started laughing. “Hahahaha! Finally! I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen all day.” Chrysalis then looked towards Tempest with a smirk. “You earned yourself a ride in my car, Tempest.”
You just looked over at Discord, as his head was now level with yours. He looked like he was in a bit of pain. “Well, that worked. You wanna grab my head and chuck it at Tempest there, buddy?” You just wanted to see him try, knowing he couldn’t actually do it in his weakened state. "C'mon, lets see you do it."
Discord actually did try to reach for your head, but he lost his balance, then fell over to his side. “...Well, don’t you all help me all at once.”
Suddenly, that oh so familiar voice began to come through the speakers. “So, you all made it once again.”
“Ugh, why are you even surprised? Can’t you just give up already?! How many more of these stupid trials are there?! There’s no way you have that many elevators in this stupid castle!” Starlight barked, her dark eyes flaring up.
“One more, one more trial is left. I must admit, I was rather frustrated that you managed to get this far. Time and time again, you all have managed to show me that no matter what I try, I simply can’t seem to win.” Tirek said, with a sudden melancholy.
“Drop the act, you charlatan. We know the only thing you seek is total victory.” Neighsay said harshly, almost like a father to a nasty and rotten child.
“Ah, but it isn't an act. In fact, this trial has no trick to it whatsoever. You’ll all even find it to be very straightforward and very simple in its execution.” Tirek said. Something was wrong, you had this terrible feeling he was telling the truth. Meaning something bad was coming.
Discord was already twisting himself back together, stretching as he began to contort himself back to his usual stance. “Fine, stop boring us and tell us what it is. I don’t know if you know this, Tirek, but your cliches have become a little too tedious for me to entertain anymore. Here I was hoping for some grand finale and you choose to go out on a whimper.”
“Oh, trust me, Discord, this trial is the biggest attraction in my castle, aside from yours truly. I promise you’ll be entertained, it’ll be an attention grabber for sure.” Tirek’s words sounded hungry for domination, you could practically feel the anticipation in his voice.
“Just tell us what it is then. Tell us what it is so we can get it over with. You’re done, Tirek. You made this personal by attacking my family. So, you know what? I’m gonna enjoy watching you get torn to shreds.” You were starting to wonder how any hero had any modicum of patience for this type of shit. You just wanted it to be over, you wanted to make him pay, you wanted to save those you care about and end this miserable adventure.
“Hmph, fine then. The next chamber will be a battle of destruction. Your band of do-gooders versus my newest personal guard. No tricks, no deception, nothing of the sort. The first team to be brought down wins. I think that’s simple enough, especially since you all have an advantage in numbers. Oh, and Chrysalis, since you managed to get this far without considering my offer, that means if you fall in battle…” Tirek began to chuckle darkly. “Well, I truly hope there are no hard feelings.”
Chrysalis said nothing, keeping to herself as the elevator came to a stop and slowly began to open in a darkened room.
“He’s going to have us fight the elements.” Tempest said, all of a sudden.
“What?! You mean we have to fight the professors?!” Sandbar said in shock. “We can’t do that! They’re our friends!”
Discord suddenly froze in place, he was muttering something, staring into the darkness.
“Hey, I’ve been wanting to slap around Rainbow Dash for a while! She wants to prank me in my own office? Fine! This has been a long time coming!” Starlight said as she gave an evil glare, her eyes glowing an intense red.
“Starlight! Calm down! You’re letting that curse get to your head! We have to find a way to snap them out of it!” You barked at her.
“Hm?” That voice. Tirek sounded off again as television screen after television screen began to turn on along the upper walls of the chamber. “Snap them out of it, you say? Oh, I’m afraid that’s going to be impossible.” It was Tirek once again, though oddly enough, his form was hidden within a dark silhouette. You could see him raise his fingers as he gave them a snap. Spotlights began to turn on along the other side of the room. Not only did it reveal five of the six, but Cadance was at the center of them acting in Twilight's stead. But, the way they were, they weren’t recognizable. They were in chains, gnashing at them like dogs. You were taken aback when Fluttershy noticed you from across the room, and with no warmth or softness in those eyes, began to try to rush at you and your party, being held back by the chains. It wasn’t long until the others followed suit. “As you can see, they are overwhelmed with absolute devotion towards me.”
“Oh no!” Silverstream gasped as she brought her talons to her mouth, shocked and horrified.
“What the?! What did you do to them?!” Smolder said as she pointed towards one of the screens. “Answer me!”
“Foolish dragon, isn’t it obvious? I had my little comrade feed all that dream energy into them, devouring their thoughts and love until the only thing on their mind was to protect my throne room with their lives!” Tirek started to laugh triumphantly. “I told you it’d be straightforward! The twist is I know none of you will do anything to stop them. Either they are immobilized, or you are. And without any spells, you have no way of evening the playing field. Meanwhile you’ll find that they have no issue using everything in their arsenal to destroy all of you. Yes, even you, Chrysalis. I will reclaim the fool, but unless you give up now, you will be destroyed with the rest of them. Your choice.”
Discord however, was not paying attention at all. He let out a shout of “Fluttershy! I’m coming!” And attempted to dash towards her, only to be blasted into the ground by Chrysalis.
“Don’t go near them! He wants to take you, Discord, over anypony else! Don’t isolate yourself from us or else you'll doom us all!” Chrysalis shouted towards him.
Discord easily lifted himself off the ground and looked back towards her with burning eyes. “Don’t try to stop me. I still have enough power to save her. And more than enough to deal with you. I don’t care about anything else but her!”
“Discord! For once, I am not looking to show my superiority over you. You are dooming us all by going near them by yourself. He can make her say whatever you want to hear. I can feel it, Discord, you’re willing to even make a deal with him to save her. But you know him, Discord, he’ll lie to you. Deceive you. And what’s worse, you’d even give up on Anon. I thought you cared a little more than that.” Chrysalis said to him. She looked genuinely disgusted with his behavior. She was right, of course. Poor Discord, even with her being right, you couldn’t imagine how crushed he felt seeing Fluttershy that way.
“I do care! I…” Discord looked upon you, then the rest of the group. His fiery eyes fizzled out as he slouched, and looked back at Fluttershy, his voice strained. “Fluttershy…”
“Tirek, this has gone on long enough! Equestria must be saved. And if I must defeat them myself, then I will do so without hesitation if it means saving more lives in the end. If you want to be shown any mercy, you will stand down now and surrender yourself!” Neighsay shouted, catching the attention of the others.
“Hey! We can’t do that! Even if they’re hypnotized, we can’t hurt the professors!” Shouted Sandbar.
“And we promise to get Princess Cadance back to family! Yona refuse to hurt anycreature! There must be other way!” Yona joined Sandbar in his protest.
“Oh, this is going to be good. Not much of a fight, but watching you all be torn limb from limb will be good enough for me.” Tirek said as he began to laugh evilly once again. “Oh, but I do have to commend you for making it this far in the first place. As a reward, I will allow for some last words.”
“Screw you! I’m with the Chancellor! What does Princess Cadance even do anyway?! She's a lousy princess!” Starlight said as she prepared herself, steam coming from nostrils as her horn began to light up.
“Starlight! No!” You jumped in front of her, not wanting her to take any shots. “We can’t just blast them either! We gotta figure it out, okay? It isn’t over yet! Snap out of it!”
“Seriously, Anon?! Since when did you become such a wimp?! Unless you got a better plan, then we’re about to be turned into kibble here. Get out of my way, or I’ll do to you what I’m about toGAH!” With a sudden groan, Starlight falls to the ground unconscious as Tempest stands above her.
“Sh-s…Geez, did you have to hit her so hard?” You asked her. Christ, she just knocked her out without much hesitation. You could see the lump on her head as it pulsated.
“It was necessary. When it comes to a mission, I expect it to be accomplished utterly and completely without issue.” Tempest said as she looked down on the fallen Starlight.
“My my, already there is dissent among your ranks. And what about you? Hrm, I actually don’t even know your name. Nosay, was it?” Tirek said boredly. “Doesn’t matter. You seem to be brimming with magic, and I’m not convinced you’re as brave as you make yourself out to be. Join me, allow your magic to become my own, and I’ll let you keep your free will… As my personal servant.”
“I’d rather be destroyed.” Neighsay said, with utter contempt towards Tirek. “Equestria, and my fellow compatriots who ventured into the foul depths of this accursed castle, will be protected by me as long as I draw breath. You have no sway over me.”
Tirek snickered as he prepared to snap his fingers. “Well, you won't be breathing for much longer. Guards, destroy them all, and bring me the buffoon so he can bow beneath my hooves!” Tirek bellowed as he snapped his fingers.
And with that, all the chains fell off the hypnotized six. But something wasn’t right. You didn’t hear the rush of mindless killer drones. You didn’t hear the grinding and gnashing of teeth or primal yells of your fallen friends. As all of you looked upon them again, they were all on the ground, as a purple haze hovered around them and then dissipated.
Wut?
“Uhhhhh… What just happened?” They were just laying there, sleeping.
“What is this?! I said ‘attack!’ ” Tirek growled as he snapped his fingers continuously. “Attack! Attack!”
Ocellus just looked on, peering ever so closer for a moment. “I… I don’t feel anything from them anymore. They’re… I think they're asleep.”
“Asleep? How can they be sleeping? They seemed ready to tear us apart before.” Neighsay said in utter confusion.
“How can this be?! HOW?! You all should have been brought to your knees the moment you cast a spell!” Tirek said, yelling in anger.
“I’ll tell you how.” That voice! Grubber stepped forward, bouncing an orb on his palm as he gave Tirek an arrogant grin. “While all of you were yapping your heads off, I tossed a couple of sleep grenades their way. No magic, no fuss.”
“What?!” Tirek said, flabbergasted. “Sleep grenades?! You couldn’t have… No! It can’t be that… NO! I am destined to rule this world!”
“Yeah, yeah, I heard that kind of stuff a million times already. But you ain't getting the world because ya made one simple mistake. Wanna guess what that was? C’mon, guess.” Grubber said, crossing his arms as he genuinely awaited an answer.
But Tirek said nothing. He became so angry that he punched forward, hitting the camera and sending every screen into static. He still said nothing more as the doors across the way slowly opened to a hallway, leading to the doors that opened to the throne room.
“Pfft, crybaby.” Grubber said with a disappointed sigh. “Darnit, I had the whole routine rarin’ to go on that one. Hey, Tempest, you saw me throw those grenades, right?”
Tempest nodded with a gentle smile on her face. “I did. Excellent work, Grubber. I’m sorry we didn’t get to do the routine together.”
“Yeah, a- Woah, wait, you were actually willing to do it with me? Poses n’ all?” Grubber asked as he suddenly got big watery eyes, looking to Tempest with childish anticipation.
Tempest nodded. “I did promise. You were going to remember to put your name before mine, right?”
“Huh? Uh, I mean, yeah! Aheh. I mean, it was my win, right? Erm, I was totally, uh, gonna make sure my name came first.” Grubber said as he looked away from her, lies written all over his face.
Tempest almost giggled, but straightened up as she looked towards the hallway. “Well, I think it was rude of him to leave so soon.” Tempest’s horn started to spark up. “If the trials are over, then it's time to make our final assault.”
“Indeed. It is time to bring that miserable centaur to justice.” Neighsay said as he gazed upon the fallen six. “Will they be alright?”
“Yeah, it was just slee-Woah!” Grubber is suddenly taken aback as Silverstream suddenly sneaks up in front of him, her face beaming with a wide smile. “U-um, can I help you.”
“I, uh, uhm…” Silverstream leaned forward and whispered. “Are you, um, a hero hedgehog?”
“Uhh, wha?” Grubber was just utterly confused by her.
“Yeah! Like, that was super awesome! I don’t know what that thingy was, but it brought down everypony without hurting them! That’s, like, what Hero Colt Anon would do. But you did it! I didn’t even know there could be heroes as awesome as he was!” Silverstream said with excitement at the prospect of another hero in her midst.
“Well, uh, I mean. Yeah, I’m pretty awesome. But ‘Hero Hedgehog’? Nah, not my style. I work as a duo with my partner, the super unbeatable Tempest Shadow. There ain’t no ‘Hero Hedgehog’ here. It’s more like, ‘The Dynamic Duo’! Yeah, that’s right, that’s what we are.” Grubber said as he nodded to himself, satisfied with the name.
You’d facepalm at that if it wasn’t for the fact that Grubber saved the fucking day, and that he was actually pretty endearing here.
“Well, that’s awesome too! So, are you the leader? I mean, I know you were with the Storm King before. But that was before, now you guys are like… Yeah, the dynamic duo!” Silverstream said with a giggle. Though, Tempest intervened right after she asked.
“We can answer those questions when this is over. We can’t waste anymore time here. We have to stop Tirek and rescue Twilight Sparkle and the rest of Equestria.” Tempest said to her as she began to walk towards the hallway.
“Yeah, I’m ready for this to be over. Had enough of this nightmare.” Gallus said.
And with that, everyone but Starlight and…
Oh…
You stopped when you noticed Discord was at Fluttershy’s side, petting her, running his paw through her mane. You stopped to walk towards him, feeling terrible about how much hurt he must be feeling right now. “Hey, Discord. You okay?”
“...Clearly not. Look what he’s done to her. The Fluttershy I know would have never looked at us that way.” Discord said as he gently hugged her limp body as she slept soundly.
Well, he was in serious mode alright, he wasn’t exploding at the mention of her name. “I know. We’ll stop him, I promise.”
“Hmmnnn… I didn’t mean what I said back there. Well, I did. But you understand I said that selfishly as it hadn’t crossed my mind what I was sacrificing, right?” Discord said as he looked at you with tearful eyes.
“I know, I know how you get, I know you would have regretted it the moment you realized you screwed up. C’mon, we’re about to go kick Tirek’s ass and there is no one else I’d rather do it with than you.” You said, giving him a solemn smirk.
“No... For once, I’ll let you do that on your own. I can’t abandon her, Anon, I’m sorry. But our little quest is nearly over, right? Can you handle this without me?” Discord said as he looked back at the slumbering mare. “I’ll let you plan the next big prank. I’m sure it’ll be hilarious…”
You sighed, and gave Discord a hug. There were still eleven of you, including yourself. And he’d be able to keep an eye on Starlight if he stuck around, so that was fine. Even then, Discord couldn’t do much without his powers, and with him as emotional as he was, it was probably best to leave him behind. Poor guy. “We’ll take care of it. Heh, just don’t go whining later that you missed your chance.”
“Oh, I’m not worried. It is not as if Twilight will know what my contributions really were when I lay it on her how much I saved her purple tush.” Discord said, giving you a cool grin, even as tears formed in his eyes.
Ha, just had to get one in. “Just don’t overdo it, alright? You gonna be okay, seriously?”
Discord nodded. “I will, just make sure to keep your head on your shoulders when you confront that muscle-bound brute. Seriously, I don’t want to have to glue it back on. It is so tedious.” Discord said with a weak laugh.
“I will, trust me.” And with that, and another hug, you rejoined the group.
It was time to take the fight to Tirek, and the odds were in your favor.
The throne room, it certainly didn’t look like the way it did before.
The torches along the wall were replaced with foreboding red lights, like hellfire. Rustic pipes ran across random parts of the ground. Small centaur armors facing each other lined the walls leading to the throne. Electricity crackled through the wires that lined the walls in between each light. The throne itself was empty, except for…
Oh, no way…
The staff was sitting on the throne, highly deformed and glowing violently. That bastard really pushed it to its limit. But then, where was Tirek? Did he run away? Was he the type to do that? There was really only a two parter to work with on his personality that you never gave it much thought if he’d try to run when coming so close to victory. “Uh, where did Tirek go?”
“Who cares? That’s the staff, right? I’m gonna go grab that thing and-” As Smolder began to bolt off to grab it, Chrysalis growls harshly as she stomps in front of her.
“Hold it right there! After everything we’ve been through, how could you so mindlessly even attempt to think that it isn’t some sort of trap?” Chrysalis looks over at the staff, and points beyond the throne. “The last time I was here, Tirek had a security room behind that wall. He’s no doubt in there, waiting for us to make a mistake.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. Anything here can be a trap.” Sandbar said as he looked at the loose wiring. “Geez, he needs to call an electrician. Or is he using twittermites to power everything? Woah, what if the trap is releasing a whole load of twittermites?”
“Yeah, I don’t think it’s that.” Grubber said as he investigated one of the centaur armors, poking it. “Nothin’. What do you think, Tempest?”
“My guess? The throne itself is the trap. One could say Tirek may be in one of the armors, but they are too small for him. If I understood a little more about what the staff is capable of, I might be able to come up with a plan.” Tempest said as she gazed at the staff.
“Then fear not. I will, as the youth say, ‘take one for the team’.” Neighsay said as he began to walk up towards the throne. His horn was lit up, sending some sort of light across every object, wall, and floor surrounding him as he walked.
“Woah!” You rushed up towards him, tugging back on his cloak. ”What are you doing?! We haven’t figured out what the trap even is yet!”
Neighsay looked back at you. He tugged his cloak away from your hooves, then smiled gently as he gave you a pat on the head. “Dear Anon, young little Anon. I’m no fool, simple traps such as this are nothing compared to my intellect and magic. And besides, I do believe it is my turn to contribute something to this group. Nay, it is my duty even. For you see, Anon, I was wrong. I was wrong to use you to further my own ends. I was wrong to look at these nonponies and think lesser of them. I was wrong to see Twilight as a nuisance to the EEA. I was wrong about so much…” Neighsay sighed as he grabbed hold of you with his magic, and gently brought you back into the group. “I’m sorry, Anon. And I am sorry to all of you too, every single one of you.”
“W-what?! Woah, hey. Don’t say stuff like that, okay?! Just come back, we can figure this out to-Huh?!” As Sandbar took a few steps to try to call back Neighsay, a barrier came upon the group, preventing them from advancing. Neighsay just looked back at all of you with a nod, and continued towards the throne.
Chrysalis just shrugged. “I’m okay with this.”
Goddammit. You knew he was going to fuck up and get himself hurt… Or worse. You bashed your hooves at the barrier, trying to get the guy to listen to reason. “Chancellor! Don’t do it! This is why we came with everycreature in the first place! Remember? The whole ‘elements dream’ prophecy thing? Don’t do it!”
Neighsay said nothing more as he approached the throne. He just stood there as the light of his horn flashed a few times ahead of him. He then looked left and right, staring at the centaur armors for a moment before looking back at the throne. At first, he almost reached for the staff. But then he stopped. He grabbed his cloak with his teeth and took a few steps back as he tossed it… Through the throne?!
It was a hologram?! And a violent one at that. The whole throne and staff lit up and disappeared as lightning continually blasted up through some sort of panel on the ground. Neighsay just stared at the bursts of power in front of him until finally it all fizzled out. Neighsay then looked back at all of you. “It was indeed a trap. And you say there’s a room behind that wall?”
Woah…
Chrysalis herself seemed rather impressed. Both you and her know there was no way his magic could detect a mechanical hologram. He just managed to figure it out naturally. “Yes, there is. Impressive, Chancellor. Now, can you remove this barrier? I have a centaur to obliterate.”
“Of course, of course. Now that the final trap has been dealt with, it is most prudent we face-Hm?!” Before Neighsay could remove the barrier, one of the armors on his right side suddenly rushed towards him, trying to grab him from where he stood. All of you gasped with fright, thinking he was hurt or snatched. But suddenly, Neighsay magically appeared behind the armor, staring at its backside with a harsh glare. “You almost had me, but I knew a fiend like Tirek would have more than one simple trap. Anon! I call to you, is this an armor brought forth by ethereal forces? Or more of this technological nonsense?”
“Does he mean ghost armor? It doesn’t look very ghostly to me.” Silverstream said, staring at the armor. “Shouldn’t it be all spooky and scary?”
Could it be a robot? Did Tirek even know what a robot is? “Just blast it! It doesn’t matter what it is, it's just some stupid armor! You can do it!” Like damn, Neighsay had this in the bag. You didn’t expect him to handle himself so well.
“‘Blast it’ it is! Away with you, monster!” Neighsay aimed his horn true, and fired a gigantic blast of magic at the armor.
The armor raised its arms to block the blast, holding its own as it slightly slid back against the onslaught of power. You all began to cheer for Neighsay. Surely this was the last hurdle you all needed to cross to finally bring Tirek down. Except…
Wait…
Neighsay all of a sudden looked pained, and seemed like he was trying to stop his attack as the armor suddenly began to gain ground. Something even worse, the armor plating began to pop off, one by one, revealing a black obsidian armor, scaled with volcanic red and yellow tips, within itself. The horns from the top of the armor burst, revealing glowing black ones. The back of the armor flew off as four pistons raised and sank within the armor, surrounding some red generator at the center of the backside. And as Neighsay fell to his knees, the helmet broke off, revealing the truth of the armor.
Tirek was within the armor within the armor. His body size was that of when he had no other magic within himself, and his face, it was full of cybernetics. He had a robotic jaw, a red lens for a right eye, surrounded by wires going into his forehead. Whatever you all were staring at, it was suddenly crushing Neighsay. This Tirek then walked over to the fallen unicorn, and lifted him by the neck as he looked into his eyes. The barrier had fallen at this point, but you had no idea what that was or how to approach. Though, it became more clear when the being said “I gave you a choice. Now your magic is my power and you will face destruction.” before tossing the limp unicorn into the wall, cratering it slightly as he slumped to the floor. He then turned towards all of you with a smirk. “Welcome, one and all, to your doom.”
What in the fuck?! What just happened?!
“Neighsay! Oh man, this isn’t good!” Sandbar said in a panic.
“We help him! We can’t leave Chancellor on ground!” Yona said as she began to get angry, ready to ram right through Tirek.
“Stop! Wait for the proper time to strike! We need to figure out what we’re dealing with.” Tempest said in urgency as she jumped in front of the young six, putting them to a halt.
“Tirek? What did you do to yourself?” Chrysalis looked upon him, with awe and disgust.
“Hm…” Tirek stopped for a moment, and looked at his own armored hand. Even he seemed disgusted with himself. “This? As much as I hate to admit it, this was a final form of desperation. In my research to find out how to manipulate Deus Ex Machina, and seeing how much destiny seems to loathe those with true ambition, I made the necessary changes to the trials to try to trap you all within these walls, as it seemed any information that exists doesn’t seem to be attainable with my searches. But alas, if I had learned anything from my last venture, I soon realized that it would not be enough. But what could I do? The staff’s power had already been stretched too thin.” Tirek’s mechanical eye then looked upon you. “...But then I realized something. What if destiny came from magic? What if there was a way to squeeze the last of the staff’s usable power upon myself? To make myself better in a way that used something other than magic? I used the last of the time dilation I placed myself in to research anything from the human world that would do the trick. And that’s when I found it, cybernetics, to become something called a ‘cyborg’. You give up your own power, your abilities, your strength, your very being in trade of a body vastly superior to your own. This was the result of my research! Of course, even with everything I gave up, this armor is… or was, at ten percent capacity. But as you can see, it can absorb magic and convert it into power just the same. Behold, my cybernetic armor, the Midnight Castle! Its very name signifies the change from a day of magic, to a day of technology. Technology will become the forefront of my new world! And-” Suddenly, Tirek hears a yell, prompting him to stop as he looks back.
“SHADDUP ALREADY! TAKE THIS, CHUMP!” Grubber had once again taken the initiative. He had snuck up, climbing the armor without notice, and had his electric gloves equipped as he jumped up to smash them onto the generator on Tirek’s backside. But the moment he came close, something went wrong. A red blast of electricity came out in a burst towards him before he could land his blow, shocking him greatly as it sent him flying up then down onto the floor, smoke pouring out all over his body. “N-ngh… I’m toast.”
Tirek snickered as he looked back at the fallen hedgehog. “...As if I’d let that happen again.”
“Grubber!” Tempest screamed out, her stoic demeanor finally broken as she stared at Tirek with a rage. “You monster!”
“Hm, so there is a way to crack that little shell. Well then, show me what youSDGASFDFDNGAAAA!” Suddenly, Tirek is sent reeling back, sliding across the ground, as a giant fist smashed into his face.
All of you looked up to see a giant minotaur with burly arms and fists. It was Chrysalis, already ready to go. “Forget her, Tirek, your fight is with me!” She knew she couldn’t blast him with any magic, should she suffer the same fate as Neighsay. That armor, it was too dangeorus to hit it with any magical shot. Tirek may look like he was in his base form, but he may be more dangerous than he ever was before.
Tirek steadied himself as he brought a hand to his face. Shards of his cyber-eye were falling off the mechanism, revealing a black and red wired eye behind it. “That was a cheap shot…”
“Who cares?” Chrysalis said as she stomped towards him, ready to slug him once more.
“Give it up, Chrysalis. You lost against me before. You can’t hope to possibly beat me now.” Tirek said in a low growl as he readied himself for a fight, raising his fists.
Chrysalis chuckled at that as she approached him, ready to beat the living shit out of him. “Beat? No, that simply isn’t enough. As a queen, I demand more than just a simple beating. As in, I’m going to fucking rip you apart.” Chrysalis steps forward with a lunging straight towards Tirek.
Tirek easily tilts and shifts to the side, punching Chrysalis in the face and sending her sliding back. He… He was fast. “Ha! Big words for a Queen of nothing! My body isn’t just strong, it’s fast as well. You stand no chance!” Tirek sneered as he speedily kept up with Chrysalis and punched at her. Chrysalis was able to block it, but it still made her step a few steps back as she let out a grunt.
“Dammit, this isn’t goo-eh?!” As you looked on, Tempest was already at your side, gently dumping Grubber next to you.
“Anon, focus! You, all of you, had that prophecy. You all need to figure out how to use the elements quickly. If it holds true, then Tirek should not be able to stop it, no matter what kind of armor that is.” Tempest said as she gazed intently upon the fight. “I’m going in.”
“Wait, Tem-” But before you can even say a real word, she was off to help Chrysalis hold off Tirek. “S-shit…” When you looked back at the six, some of them were already tapping at their elements, trying to get them to work.
“Please, please, do something! We have to save them!” Ocellus cried out.
“Come on, we care a lot, big time, okay! Why aren’t they working?!” Smolder growled as she smacked at her element.
“Wait, maybe Hero Colt Anon knows something! He had the dream too and he’s not even an element! Maybe he’s the one who tells us how it works!” Silverstream said as she looked intently at you.
…Fuck
“Erm, well, you gotta believe in yourselves, your friends, and love, and friendship, and erm.. You have to be brave and know nothing can stop you when you all join together.” You tell them with a quivering voice.
They all stop, and stare at each other. They close their eyes and tense every muscle within themselves.
Nothing.
“Erm, well, that didn’t work. And trust me, I was really believing we could pull it off.” Gallus said.
“Maybe… we’re not wearing the right elements?” Ocellus asked.
Fuck… That was probably it.
Or maybe it wasn’t…
Dammit…
“Screw it.” You look inside your saddle bag and pull out your Starlight Hook, putting in on your leg before you went looking for your wings. “I’m going in, you guys gotta figure it out.”
“Wait!” Silverstream called out, reaching for you
Wut?
“Silverstream, whatever it is, now isn’t the time!” You yelled out at her.
“But, that’s your hero bag, right? With all your hero stuff?” Silverstream asked.
“Sure, whatever, why?” You asked.
“Well, I remember some of the legends kinda saying different things about how you beat the Storm King. Some say you rocketed it up in the air and brought him down in one fell swoop. Others say you turned into a bird and defeated him somehow. I remember it having to do with a bowtie? Yeah, that’s what it was, it said in the legends you were going to use it for something with the professor, your aunt.” Silverstream explained.
“Okay? But how…” Wait.
WAIT…
You quickly went rustling through your bag. And holy shit, there it was.
Already, your sinister little mind began to turn as you looked to Silverstream with a smirk. “Silverstream, you’re a genius.”
“I am? Okay! If you say so!” Silverstream said with a smile.
“Gather around, everycreature. I got a plan.” Holy shit. You might be able to pull a win out of your ass.
Tirek was blocking blow after blow as Chrysalis dealt a savage set of attacks, punching without giving him a chance to respond. Every time Chrysalis connected her fists to his armored arms, he slid back on his hooves by an inch. But Chrysalis wasn’t alone, after she had dealt one big heavy strike, Tempest had jumped up from behind her using a blast of her horn as propulsion and went over her head, striking Tirek’s face with a surprise buck.
“Why you little…” Tirek shook it off and went for a heavy slam against Tempest, only to be intercepted with a right hook towards his face once again by Chrysalis. So far, it seems the both of them could hold their own, giving you a chance to explain your plan.
“We’ve hit him in the face how many times now?” Chrysalis said, smirking as she flexed her fingers.
“Too many to count. But don’t get ahead of yourself, he hasn’t slowed down at all.” Tempest said, not even taking the time to stop as she jetted from side to side and jump-bucked Tirek’s face once again.
“You two are foolish to keep this up!” Tirek said, as he adjusted his misaligned mechanical nose. “Can’t you see you can’t defeat meeeeeAAGH!” Tirek raised his arms once again, blocking an especially heavy strike from Chrysalis that made him stumble backwards.
“How can you still be so cocky, Tirek? You went through all this trouble to stop us, and you can’t even hold a candle to my power. It’s pathetic, really.” Chrysalis said, landing another punch that was guarded, but sent him stumbling back. “You couldn’t even get rid of Anon properly. If I didn’t like him so much, I’d actually take the time to show you how to do it right.” Chrysalis said, punching him back once again. “How could you trust the word of a filly, anyway?” Chrysalis said with yet another blocked punch. “And you said I fell from grace? I’m not the one taking orders from a foal!” Chrysalis said, her punches becoming slower and weaker, panting as she finally has Tirek against the wall. “Doesn’t matter anymore, not for you, it’s time to end this!” Chrysalis reeled up for one last punch, but she suddenly got hit by a hyper fast yet decimating blow from Tirek, sending her right into the opposite wall, making her lose her form.
Tirek just boredly readjusted himself and looked at his fist as a smile formed on his face, the pistons on his generator suddenly roaring. “You’re right, Chrysalis, it is time to end this. HYAH!” Tirek moved at lightning speeds towards Chrysalis, and before she could get up, she got dealt a backhanded smack that sent her flying towards the security wall. “Well, that was easier than I thought.” Tirek said with a dark chuckle.
“Chrysalis!” You let out as you saw her fly and fall to the ground. She was barely moving now.
“Anon! We gotta focus.” Smolder called out to you. “We got a plan, right? We gotta do it now!”
“Are you sure it's even gonna work?! Tirek is suddenly moving so fast! It was like he was conning us!” Gallus said in fright from seeing Chrysalis being defeated so easily.
“Of course it’ll work!” Silverstream said as she pumped her fist. “It’s a plan from the great hero colt, there is no chance for it to fail!”
“W-we have to do it!” Ocellus said with a gulp “Even if I don’t like my part.”
“Yona have faith! We have to save friend Chrysalis before she hurt worse!” Yona said, brave, and with no hesitation.
“Damn right. Alright then, let’s put this plan into action!” It was now or never. If this didn’t work, the world was truly doomed.
“How?!” Tempest was caught in surprise, she was sure Tirek was on his last legs after landing so many calculated blows. Unfortunately for her, Tirek didn’t relent and was able to rush up at her in no time, grabbing her by the neck and lifting her up.
“How?” Tirek started to laugh triumphantly. “You, the Storm King’s former stooge, should have figured it out already. Do you need a hint?”
“Ngh, the armor…” Tempest said as Tirek squeezed her neck harder.
“That’s right, the armor. Her transformation requires magic, doesn’t it? With every blow to distract me, to knock me off balance, to keep me from attacking, she was giving me her power. She has quite a bit of it, considering the damage to the staff, so I couldn’t help myself, I had to have it for myself.” Tirek squeezed just a bit harder. “A pity for you. All that power, all that skill, and you didn’t actually do anything to me. This body never gets tired, never feels weak, and I am beyond even the elements! I am Lord Tirek! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Tirek was laughing victoriously as he held a weakened Tempest by the throat.
“Don’t you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?!” Shouted Smolder
“What?!” Tirek looked back, then upwards to see Smolder, Gallus, and Silverstream holding Yona high in the air. “What is this?!”
“Now!” Yona shouted. But instead of letting her go, they all dropped with her as her weight became too much. They all yelled for their lives as Yona prepared to headbutt Tirek.
“...pitiful.” Tirek said as he narrowed his eyes at the falling yak. The horns on his armor began to glow a fierce orange as he raised his fist and opened his palm. With a psychic like force, he sent the four of them towards the wall. “Hah, so the elements are useless to you after all. Did you really think a sneak attack like that would work?”
“No, but this one will!” Shouted Sandbar from in front of Tirek. Tirek turned his head to see Sandbar standing in front of your body, your head turned to the side towards him. “Take this, Tirek!” With a mighty buck, Sandbar bucked your head off your body and towards Tirek at great speeds.
“Hyah!” With ease, Tirek grabs your head from the back and swipes his arm to the side, sending Sandbar sliding across the floor with a burst of power. “And that should be all of them.” Tirek then turned his hand so he could see you eye to eye within his grasp. “Well then, here we are. I bet you’re expecting a head pun or a grand speech about how I’ve crushed all of you.” Tirek said with a sneer as he turned his other arm towards you. The scales on his armor slid back as a… Holy shit! Is that a gatling gun?! He had one of those?! “But I’ve grown weary of this. I’ve proven my point, and your pitiful attempts to defeat me is at its end. I assume you know what this is? I’m not too fond of such messy means. But if magic can’t destroy you, then this will. Any last words? Perhaps some screams for Chrysalis to remember you by.”
You just stared at him with an angry expression.
“What? Nothing more from that smart mouth of yours? Well then…” The gatling gun began to slowly spin up. “...It’s time for you tRFDSDSAAGYH!” Without warning, you suddenly spit a huge glob at Tirek’s face. He staggers backwards as he throws your head up in the air.
“Gotcha!” Smolder said as she launched herself up from the wall to catch you.
Tirek shook his head as he looked forward in anger. “How dare you! How d-What in the? Is that a parasprite?”
A parasprite dripping in your drool hovered ahead of Tirek, looking at him with determined eyes. “No! It’s your fu-fu-f-.... I can’t say it.” The parasprite just quickly headbutts Tirek right on the cheek. Or rather, she headbutts a peculiar item that got stuck to it when you spat the parasprite out.
“Wha-” Before Tirek could finish his sentence, he suddenly disappeared as the item fell forward. The parasprite quickly caught it and transformed back to its original form. It was Ocellus, of course it was, it was all part of your plan.
Tirek’s armor quickly creaked, and fell over to its side, hollow, as the generator on its backside began to fade from red to an empty gray.
“Woah, hey, he’s gone! So, did it work?” Smolder asked as she hovered down to the ground, your head under her arm.
“Looks like it, but wasn’t he supposed to turn into a bird or something?” Gallus asked as he observed the armor, stretching his back after being slammed into a wall.
“Wait, what that coming from back?” Yona asked, pointing at blue streams coming from the generator.
The streams were heading three different ways. One to Neighsay, the other to Chrysalis, and the last flowing through the walls. “I think… Yeah, I think that’s the magic Tirek stole. It’s going back to its original owners.” Which means Lyra and Bonbon, and everyone else Tirek stole his magic from on his way towards the school is being returned to their rightful owners. “Chrysalis, you alright? What about you, Tempest? How is Neighsay doing?”
“I’m fine, but what happened to Tirek? How did you defeat him?” Chrysalis asked as she slowly stood up, adjusting herself as she felt a renewed vigor with her magic returning.
Tempest was busy checking up on Neighsay. “He’s breathing, he just was knocked out.”
“Well, that’s the thing. Heh, I didn’t know he’d disappear completely. We used this bowtie I had that turns you into a bird. Completely forgot I had it until Silverstream here reminded me.” You said as you pointed at her.
Silverstream began to feel an excited energy within her that made her feel giddy. “Ohhh! The hero colt is totally giving me too much credit! I’m honored!”
Er, yeah. Geez, this is really what it's like to have a fangirl for any situation. Not a bad thing really, but it just made you REALLY wary of ever visiting Mt. Aris. “Nah, I mean. That’s what did it. My plan was just to make Tirek feel so overconfident that he wouldn’t pick up on me using Ocellus to get the bowtie on him, or something like that. Er, wait, Ocellus, you alright?”
Ocellus flitted her wings at a high speed to shake off the remaining saliva left on her. “I am, that isn’t the wors-Eep!” Ocellus suddenly shuddered and let out a squeak as she heard shuffling inside the armor. It all made you alert.
“Change-me-back”
“Change me back!”
Suddenly, a red parrot with a bionic eye and sharp metal wings and talons flew at high speeds out of the armor, ready to claw and rip your face apart. “CHANGE ME BACK!”
Oh shit! Not again! Smolder only recoiled back in reaction, not expecting it.
But before Tirek could reach you, he suddenly became trapped in a net that flew right at him. Holy shit, it was Grubber, barely holding his Trapper Blaster as he managed to hit Tirek dead on with it. “Gotcha… Ngh… Okay, now I’m done.” Grubber said as he let the blaster drop from his hand and rolled over on his back. He reached into his pocket to pull out a cake he had. It was, sadly, turned to ash. But it didn’t stop him from stuffing it into his mouth anyway.
“G-geez, that was a close one. He really did become a bird. Wow, so, is that it? Are we done?” Like, seriously, you didn’t expect it to end this way. It felt so easy. But in the end, it didn’t matter. What mattered was saving everyone from this nightmare.
“Oh, no no, we’re not done yet.” Chrysalis said as she approached with a sinister grin. Using her magic, she rips Tirek from the net and holds him tightly as she turns him to face her. “This must be so embarrassing for you, Tirek. All that work only for it to be undone by an ‘outworlder’ and the elements. Except they didn’t even have to use the elements to defeat you. Hah!” Chrysalis let out a boisterous and dark laugh. “You had the edge over all of us and you still lost! I can’t imagine how that must feel. But I can certainly taste it.”
“You think this is over, Chrysalis? I haven’t lNGH!” Tirek is stopped short when she feels Chrysalis’s magic squeezing him tighter. “W-what are you d-doing?!”
“Squeezing the life out of you. I haven’t forgotten what you’ve done, what you said. It’s truly over for you, Tirek. It ends here for you and your schemes.” Chrysalis said as she began to squeeze tighter.
“Y-you can’t do this. The Princesses willDFNFD” Tirek groaned and twisted in pain, trying to convince her otherwise.
“Will what? Exile me? Let them, it doesn’t matter to me if they don’t understand the favor I’m doing for them.” Chrysalis said, her evil grin becoming more of a malice filled stare with every moment.
“A-Anon, yo, I know he’s super bad and stuff. But shouldn’t you stop her?” Sandbar asked, actually scared about what was transpiring.
Should you? Chrysalis was right, the world would be better off without Tirek. And fuck the princesses if they try to exile her, they had no grounds to do so and you would raise hell yourself if they even tried. “No. For once, being a goody goody is a bad idea here. Tirek will never reform, he’ll never learn. And next time? He could end up doing something worse. Whatever happens now is his fault.”
“No! Don’t leNGH!” Tirek couldn’t speak anymore as Chrysalis’s magic became too tight.
“It’s time to say goodbye, Tirek.” Chrysalis was about to finish him off, when suddenly Tempest spoke out, blasting a small blast of magic past her.
“Stop!” She let out as she approached Chrysalis.
“What?!” Chrysalis loosened her grip slightly as she looked back at Tempest. “Why?! What reason could you possibly have to stop me?! Don’t tell me you really are just another soft-hearted pony!”
“Easy. We still need him to open the security door for us. Without him, we can’t get to the staff.” Tempest exclaimed.
Suddenly, Tirek began to laugh evilly. “That’s right! Without me, you can’t get through the security door to get to the staff. Which means I have no reason to help you if it only means my deGYAH!” Suddenly, a burst of magic came from Tempest, and hit his right wing, blowing it off. All that was left were wires coming from the base. “W-what are you doing?! You said you needed me!”
“And we do. It’s non-negotiable. I have no qualms taking you apart, piece by piece, until you give us what we want.” Tempest told him as her horn crackled.
“I take back what I said. This is much better.” Chrysalis said with a dark chuckle.
“Y-you can’t! Even if I’m still a cyborg, I-GYAH!” Tirek is stopped short when another blast takes out his other wing.
“It’ll be your talons next, then your beak.” Tempest warned.
“Alright! ALRIGHT! I’ll open the door! Just stop already! There’s nothing more I can do!” Tirek yelled out in fear. He couldn’t believe it. He was so close, he had all the power, all the magic. Everything was his. Suddenly, he let his head droop as he believed he realized what really caused his defeat. He entered into so much sudden despair that even his own terror seemed distant to him. “So, this is it then. This is deus ex machina?”
“Nah.” You say to him.
“No? But then, how? This shouldn’t have been possible.” Tirek said as Tempest and Chrysalis brought Tirek to the back of the throne room.
“It’s just as I said. Silverstream remembered an item I had that could turn the whole thing around. You should have paid attention to Cozy and not waste time being so cocky. How does it feel, Tirek? Because from where I’m being held, it feels pretty damn good to me.” You say to him with a cocky grin.
Tirek said nothing. He knew he was defeated, and what was worse, he was having all that arrogance thrown against him. He lost, and once again, it seemed like fate was not on his side. It made him angry, but it also scared him to know he could be destroyed and no one would try to actually stop it. He was so close. But then he noticed the bowtie in Ocellus’s hooves. If only he co-
“EEP!” Ocellus let out a yelp as she jumped back, Tempest had turned the bowtie to ash with a magical blast.
“Sorry, but I’m not even going to let you entertain that thought.” Tempest said coldly towards him.
“You would keep me inDFGS” Suddenly, he felt Chrysalis’s magic tighten on his body again as she brought him towards the security wall.
“Don’t test my patience, Tirek. I’m already thinking of keeping you as a pet instead, I think it’d be funny seeing you try to flop around without wings to keep you balanced.” Chrysalis said with a smirk. “Now, be a dear and open the door for us.”
Gallus leaned next to Yona and whispered “Are we sure she’s a good guy? This really feels wrong. Like, she could be scamming us to get the staff herself”
Yona leaned over to whisper back. “Yona not like it too much, but Yona just think she all talk. It be okay, we just need focus on saving Equestria. Yona think she good, just mean.”
Tirek groaned, staring at the wall, then sighed. “...This is Lord Tirek, open the door to me. The password is Scorpan.”
Suddenly, fog began to pour out of the opening doors as they slowly and heavily began to open from side to side.
“Scorpan? Isn’t that his brother? I thought he totally hated that guy.” Sandbar whispered to you.
“I heard that, whelp. The password is fine, it was simply a way to prevent anypony who can replicate my voice from entering, by using a password nopony would ever expeNGH!” Suddenly, Chrysalis gave him a slight squeeze.
“That’s enough squawking, nopony cares.” Chrysalis said as she chastised him.
The doors fully opened as the mist from the hydraulic doors cleared. The security room had many monitors on from all sides, showing each floor of the castle. In the back were the stasis pods, with Twilight and Cozy sleeping within two of them. And on the security desk? There it was, more twisted and contorted than ever, the staff.
“Gyah! There’s another Tirek?! Darn it, I thought we were finished with him!” Smolder said as she stepped back, preparing your head as throwing weapon without thinking about the fact it was your head.
“Hm, relax. It isn’t moving, it seems to merely be another hologram. I assume this is what you used to broadcast yourself, Tirek? To keep your disgusting and useless new form a secret from us? Funny how that turned out, isn’t it?” Chrysalis said as she kept her eyes on the staff.
“Just do what you came here to do and leave me be…” Tirek said as he looked away from the hologram of himself. How shameful to even look at the form he once had for a form he thought would allow him to conquer all.
“No traps?” Tempest asked him, her horn starting to sparkle once again.
“...I didn’t think you’d get this far.” Tirek said with a low and pathetic growl.
“That’s because you don’t think. Now then, what do we do with it?” Chrysalis asked. She looked over at a few of the young six who were gathering around Twilight’s pod. They looked highly upset at her situation. Silverstream was trying to cheer them up, stating how Twilight would be out and about in no time. The thought only momentarily disgusted Chrysalis, before she let out another sigh. “...And, should we let her out first? Even I have to agree she shouldn’t be kept in such a humiliating position.”
“No, if everything Discord said is correct, we have to destroy the staff first. We don’t know if letting her out could throw the balance the staff has out of wack. With the way it is looking now, any instability in Twilight’s behavior could possibly set it off.” Tempest stated.
“Wait, so letting the headmare out would cause problems. But smashing that crazy thing is fine? How does that work? Discord is walking out and about just fine and that thing hasn’t exploded yet.” Gallus said, finding the whole thing suspect.
“I think it’s because we don’t know how Twilight is going to be when she wakes up, she could go crazy or something from some pod sickness. It’d probably be safe if the staff didn’t look so crazy. As for smashing the staff itself, the way I understand it is that it keeps everything in balance. So, as long as we don’t make it explode by using it, smashing it should just return everything to the way it was.” At least, you hoped that’s how it’d go.
“Hey, what’s this button?” Silverstream asked, looking at a shiny red button on the desk, covered by glass. “Will it free the headmare?”
“Don’t press it! That’s the self-destruct button!” Tirek shouted.
…Seriously? “Really? You have a self-destruct button?”
“A suggestion made by the filly. One of the concessions I had to make before she agreed to sleep in her pod. I haven’t a clue why she’d ask me to set one up, given the timer is only thirty seconds. NopoDFNGDF” Chrysalis gave Tirek yet another squeeze. “Will you just get this over with already, before she breaks my neck!”
“Well, Yona, you’re pretty good at smashing. Wanna give it a shot?” You ask her, as Smolder holds your head towards her.
Yona nodded and grinned. “If it save Headmare Twilight and Equestria, then Yona do it, no hesitation!”
Then it was settled. Gallus carefully grabbed the twisted staff and placed it on the ground near Yona. All she had to do was smash it, and this entire nightmare would be over.
Most everyone covered their eyes. It was clear ones like Gallus and Sandbar were worried the thing was going to explode. But you know what? You trusted Discord, you felt he knew enough about what was going on that nothing bad was going to happen. You were on a good streak so far. A streak of one plan working out for you, but a streak nonetheless.
Finally, Yona raised herself up and smashed the staff to pieces,
But it being destroyed was the last thing that actually happened.
“What the-!” Was the last thing you could say as the staff exploded in a violent flash.
“Chrysalis? Tempest? Ngh, anypony? A-anyone?” You slowly began to look around as your vision not only began to clear, but you noticed you had your depth perception back as well. You put a hoof to where your missing eye was, and… Well, it wasn’t missing anymore. Your ear was back too. “What in the…?” What was going on? What was this room? The carpet and ceiling was pink, the walls blue. It was a small squared space: A bed on one side, shelves and shelves of video games and movies, with a TV to watch it on, and dolls? “What the fuck?” You looked at your hooves to make sure you were still a pony, you were still a pony. You walked closer to the dolls. Shit, each one was a doll of your friends. Chrysalis, Tempest, the CMC, the young six, the mane six, Diamond, and Discord as the centerpiece of it all. When you looked back at the bed, you could see a window on the wall above it. It had cell bars, and outside of it looked like some kind of hellscape.
“Liking your new permahome, Anon? I made sure it has everything a pony like you will ever need.” A sickly sweet voice said from behind you. A familiar voice.
It was her…
“Cozy! There you-” But you are stopped short when you actually gaze upon her. She was hovering slightly above you, with grand wings, and feet, and hands, and… Why was she human?! “What the hell is this?!”
Indeed, she had taken the visage of what she’d look like in human form. She wore a grand blue princess gown, adorned with red jewels at the skirt and a heart jewel on the chest. White stockings that led down to sapphire slippers. She had a petite crown and a golden scepter in her right hand, the end of it having a jeweled rook. However, there were twisted parts sticking out of her as well, similar to the Storm King when he had fused with the staff. Sharp claw-like protrusions sticking out from her neck and elbows, her right eye slitted like a reptile and glowing red. “Do you like it? I’m a real empress now! Aren’t I the most adorablest ever?”
“Shut up and answer me! What the hell is all this?! What did you do to me?! Where are the others!?” You demanded answers, how was she here if she was asleep?! Hell, where was here?!
Cozy slumped forward, with half-lidded eyes as she immediately grew tired of your whining. “Gee, you’re a real mood killer, do you know that? Fiiiiiine, I’ll tell you everything you need to know. Your friends are fine, for now anyway, they’re out there.” Cozy said as she pointed out the window.
What?! “They're in that fiery hellhole?!”
Cozy shook her head “No, silly, they’re out there! We’re in your mind, your consciousness really. And most importantly, your prison.”
What?! “My mind?! The hell did you do to it?!”
Cozy groaned at you. “Nothing! It was like this when I got here, geez! I did make this nice room for you, though. I need you out of the way while I conquer Equestria all for myself.”
But that made no sense, or maybe it did? No, it didn’t. She was asleep, and you weren’t. And why you in specific? Outside of your expert planning skills, you couldn’t really do shit. Tempest and Chrysalis alone would fry her in an instant if she tried anything. And what was with the human form? “So, what? You knocked me out and trapped me in my own mind? What is that supposed to accomplish? And why did you take on a human form? That’s getting really old.”
“Honestly? I didn’t really have a choice when I took over your body. But I still made it look cute, cuter than you’ll ever be, Anon! So, nyah!” She smirked as she stuck her tongue out at you.
W-what?! “Y-you took over, what?!” That's when things were slowly, and scaringly, becoming a little more clear. “What’s wrong with your eye? Why does it look like you have the staff fused to you?”
Cozy’s silly smirk slowly began to become more cruel as she silently looked at you for a moment before answering. “Because I do have it fused to me, duh.”
What?! “You couldn’t have! How?! No, there’s no way you had this all planned! What the hell is this shit!?”
“Golly, Anon, given all that junk about Deuz hex whatever, I’d think you’d already know the answer.” Cozy said as she slowly tilted her head, scratching the side of it in confusion. “Wellll…” She then gave you a cute stare as she brought her arms to her back and swayed from side to side. “To tell you the truth, I never planned to take over your body. I was actually going to take over Mister Tirek’s. I didn’t even know you were still around until you came to the castle. Lucky for me, huh?”
Take over… Tirek? “So, you were going to betray him? But, how is this even possible?”
“Wow, I really gotta explain it to you, huh? Well, to be fair, Mister Tirek was going to betray me first. He was just gonna leave me in that tube while he ruled Equestria all by himself! I heard him saying so when I was spying on his annoying study sessions. You tell a guy once about human stuff and suddenly he thinks it's the be all and end all of everything, it’s so silly! He was coming up with a whole lot of ideas. But then he mentioned he was going to fuse himself with machine stuff. It got me thinking, thinking about stuff Mister Storm King said.” Cozy explained.
“W-what? Him again?” It somehow always came back to him. The least important villain with the most important information, it seemed.
Cozy nodded. “Mhmm! Mhmm! I mean, he did manage to fuse with the staff through your wings, right? Both he and the staff became chaotic, and as one! It’s weird to say, but for Mister Tirek, his body isn’t chaotic. As much as he’d never like to think about it, his body makes sense, and is made of harmony. But with those humany cyborg parts he fused onto himself, it made him well, chaoticy too! See what I’m saying?”
…
…
“...The staff has both harmony and chaos now. It’s only compatible with a body made up of those two things.” Oh shit…
Cozy once again gave you a cruel smirk as she nodded to your answer. “That’s right, Professor. It’s why I asked him to put me to sleep right then and there. My will flows through the staff to make our ‘friendship’ spell work. But more than that, it makes my consciousness one with the staff. Once Mister Tirek became a cyborg, I should have been able to take over his body and make it my own. But, golly, he’s actually pretty smart. His consciousness became all digital and stuff, making it impossible for me to take over at all! That’s why it was a good thing you survived Mister Tirek. Your body is made up of harmony and chaos too, so you became the next best thing. All I needed to do was wait for you to get close. The heroes always win, right? I knew you guys would beat him in the end.” Cozy said with an innocent giggle. “So good job! You really are the 'Gary Stu' of this little story, huh?”
“Fuck you! I won’t lNGH!” Cozy simply pointed her scepter at you as you rose from the ground.
“You can’t stop me, Anon. Nopony can. The game is over, I win. Sure, your body is in rough shape, but I can make it work. I already made it look like me on the inside. Cute and adorable!” Cozy said with a cheer.
“F-fuck off, Cozy. I’m not letting you leave!” You growled towards her as you helplessly hovered in mid-air.
“You don’t have a choice. The fusion has made the staff alllll better now. I mean, technically, I am the staff, I have all its power at my fingertips. Reality itself is my friend, and I’ll make it do whatever I wish. Enjoy your forever prison, Anon, I really did have fun being your ‘friend’. Hehe, haha, MWHAHAHAHAHA!” Cozy cackled evilly as she floated into a gaping light in the sky, causing you to fall to the ground.
“COOOZZYYYY!!!”
She was gone.
You were trapped.
And all alone.
You weren’t even you anymore.
You were her
And it was time for the game to begin.
You could see the silly dumb dumbs clearing their eyes from the flash. You gripped your scepter tight as you stretched your adorably angelic wings and flexed your fingers. You were the new empress of Equestria, and you wanted to make sure these fools understood that. You look at yourself, sleeping in the containment tube. Your body will sleep well, you didn’t need it anymore, and it was going to have to stay in there forever.
“Ngh, what happen? Yona smash, but everything still look same?” Yona said, rubbing her eyes.
“Just be glad it didn’t destroy us.” Chrysalis said as she shook her head. “In any case, it should finally be over. Let’s just free Twilight so I can get home and kick everypony out already. Ano-” Chrysalis suddenly froze before she finished your name. She began to look around, even trying to sense your emotions. “Anon? Anon?! This isn’t funny, Anon! I mean it, it isn’t! I am not afraid to use your head as a stress ball for making me worry even the least bit about you.”
“...A stress ball? Golly, I hope you don’t mean that towards me, since I’m using his body and all.” You said, hidden from view of everyone.
“Who said that?” Tempest asked, looking around for you.
“That voice. That’s Cozy Glow’s voice!” Sandbar said as he looked around. He then looked at the tube containing your sleeping body. “But that’s impossible! She’s right there, and asleep.”
“Something is wrong. I can feel her, it’s such a horrible feeling. But it isn’t coming from the tube.” Ocellus said, shivering from the adorable feeling filling her mind.
“You’re right!” You decided to make your appearance in a flash of rainbow light. You floated above the peasants, looking as cute as ever. You slowly land and take a bow, presenting your royal self. “Hello everycreature. It’s me, your new empress of friendship, Cozy Glow!”
“What the?! What is that thing? That can’t be Cozy Glow, right? There’s two of them?! Is that another one of those hologram things?” Smolder said as she pointed at you.
Chrysalis, suddenly her stare became intense and murderous. You knew why, she wasn’t quite as dumb as the others. She was already putting two and two together. “You mentioned you being the stress ball instead of Anon. If he isn’t here now, then those strange feelings I feel deep inside you. Those screams… You took over his body, and are even making a mockery of human form.”
“What?! Cozy took over Anon’s body?! How did she do that?! It doesn't even look like a pony” Smolder again, was even more confused than ever before.
“I won’t bore you with the details, I don’t like things being boring. Let’s just say Anon and the staff are with me now. As your new empress, and the one who holds the ultimate power, I really would appreciate it if you all just gave up now and bowed before me. And that’s an order, by the way. I have so much work to do, so so so SO much work! Golly, do you know how many creatures there are in Equestria alone to force under my will? There’s lots! And it really would be a shame to destroy you, Chrysalis. I need you for my spell to be complete, after all.” You said, giving her a cheerful grin.
“I’m the one who makes the orders here, ‘Empress’. I’m giving you one warning. You release Anon now, and I’ll make sure your destruction is swift. I’m sick and tired of all this, and I’m not going to let some brat get the best of me.” Chrysalis threatened as she stepped towards you.
You took a look around. Some were scared, some looked determined, ready even. So many idiots thinking they can take you on. Oh well, you’ve come this far, if you had to take their lives to be taken seriously, then fine, you’ll do it in the most fun way possible.
You were standing there in front of them, impatiently tapping your foot. Why have they not bowed to you already? “Excuse me, can we wrap this up, pweeeease? As your new empress, I have things to do, and I don’t want to waste any more time, okay?”
Chrysalis just gave you a venomous glare as she spoke harshly towards you. “And as queen, and your usurper, I would suggest you release Anon from your control before I blow your fucking head off!”
Ew, those nasty human words, you really didn’t like them. Still, you had to clap, that was actually pretty clever. “Golly, Chrysalis, I wouldn’t expect any less from you. I get it, you’re the changeling queen, you’ve taken down lots and lots of empires. But you don’t need to use such potty language. I think my first law in my new world will be to outlaw all bad words from any and all dimensions. I really, really, do not like them.”
“And I really, really, don’t like you. Release Anon, or suffer the consequences, final warning.” Chrysalis threatened as her horn began to lit up.
You just smirked at her, you knew she wouldn’t do it, none of them would. You stretched your arms out, and dared her. “Do it then, let’s see what you got.”
You waited, and you expected her to back down. But she didn’t, and she suddenly let out a huge bolt of green magic. It made you flinch as it whizzed by you and exploded from behind. She missed? Or did she? Suddenly, they all seemed pretty astonished. You look back to see what she hit. Oh, that’s what it was. She tried to hit the containment tube with your sleeping body in it. But what luck, it seems Mister Tirek was smart enough to have barriers to protect the things. You just look back at Chrysalis and clap. “Oh, wow, very nice, I wasn’t expecting that. Good thing Mister Tirek isn’t dumb, right? Wow, that could have really made me look stupid if you opened my tube.”
“Dammit! There has to be a way!” Chrysalis growled as she lit her horn up for another shot.
“Maybe there is! Tirek used his voice to open that door, right? Maybe all we have to do is figure out a password to the weird tube things and we can stop this right here, right now!” Sandbar suggested, before coming to a bad realization. “Anycreature know what the password could be?”
“You’re acting as if you’re going to get another chance.” You said as you grabbed your hovering scepter. “Let’s clear the room.” You said as you swiped your scepter forward. With a blast of magic, you send the eight out from the security room and rolling back into the throne room. Wow, that was easy. You began to step forth to face them proper, until you hear a voice behind you.
“Cozy Glow!”
Hm?
“Cozy Glow, down here!”
You turn around, and who do you see? Mister Tirek leaning against the security desk as a cute little wingless birdy. You let your scepter float around you again as you put your hands to your knees and bend down with a smile. “Mister Tirek, hello! Golly, you look kinda ‘peckish’ right now.”
Tirek just gave you an annoyed expression. “Cute, a bird pun. Listen, I heard what was said. If you truly have fused with the staff at this time, then you know you’re not at full power. The staff, even if it is safe to use now, still needs to heal within your body. Something already difficult if you’re using that outworlder’s broken form. Use your magic to restore me and the Midnight Castle and we will finish this together!”
Hmmm
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
You snap your fingers and trap Mister Tirek in a bird cage hanging under the ceiling of the security room. “How about no?”
“What is this?! You can’t be serious, Cozy Glow! Our team up was your plan! How dare you betray me!” Tirek squawked at you, before you snapped your fingers and magically tied his beak shut with a twisty tie.
“Technically, Mister Tirek, you betrayed me first, see?” You point to your sleeping form. “Forever I’ll sleep, just like you wanted. Just like you’ll forever be my cute pet! An eye for an eye makes everycreature but me blind.” Now then, you had some dumb dumbs to att-What?! “HHNNRRKK!” You grab your scepter and raise it to block a never ending beam of crackling blue magic. What was this?! You couldn’t send it back, and it was actually hard to even hold your scepter to block it.
“Tempest, what are you doing?!” Chrysalis cried out as she witnessed Tempest taking advantage of your little talk with Tirek to blast her magic at you.
“Finishing this!” Tempest said as she slowly encroached upon you, never letting up on her beam of magic.
“Finish-Wait!” Silverstream gasped. “Y-you’re not… But you can’t, she said you’d destroy Hero Colt Anon!”
Tempest said nothing at first, then let out a sorrowful “I know…”
“You know?! You know it’ll destroy him and you chose to continue with your idiotic plan anyway!? Stop! There’s another way! There’s always another way with these virtuous fools!” Chrysalis screamed out at her.
“It has to be here and now! The moment Tirek mentioned she wasn’t at full strength, I knew it was the time to strike. Do you think I want to destroy him?! I don’t, but the entire world hangs in the balance! Chrysalis, if it was me she had taken over, I would expect you, all of you, to take the same shot!” Tempest shouted as she continued her magical onslaught.
“...Well, how noble of you.” Chrysalis said in a dark voice as she approached Tempest.
Even you couldn’t predict what happened next. Suddenly the magic blast that, as you’d hate to admit, hurt you really bad suddenly sparkled to its end as Chrysalis hit Tempest with some sort of paralysis magic, sending her to the ground with a whine as she lit up with bolts of green magic. You slowly stand up and look at your dress, it was burnt in so many spots! And your poor scepter, it was bent and ruined. “Grrr, look at what you did to my-EEP!” You suddenly take a step back as Chrysalis slaps the scepter away from your hand. You suddenly found yourself being held by the neck and being lifted up in the air by her magic.
“I really don’t fucking care. I’m done playing games with you, ‘Empress’. If you won’t release Anon to me, then I’ll bring him out myself.” Suddenly, Chrysalis’s eyes softened as she began to speak in a slightly less intimidating tone. She would not let you have another word in edgewise, as she quickly began her attempt to break Anon free from your inner prison. “Anon! I know you can hear me! Listen to me! Are you really going to let this filly reject take over your body, your mind? It isn’t that easy, Anon! What about Little Sister? What about your insipid friends who somehow care about you? What about… Me? Anon, I’m… I’m asking you, pleading with you, to show your true strength. Come back to me, and we can end this nightmare together.” Wow, just… Wow.
She was really serious, huh? Did she not realize that wouldn't work? You had Twilight's essence in you, you controlled Magic and Friendship! She couldn't save Anon from you, it was stupid to even try. So, then, it was time to have some fun.
You look at Chrysalis, using Anon’s voice. “C-Chrysalis?”
The look on her face, it was the pathetic look of hope. “Anon! A-anon, fight it! Please, I know you can beat her!”
“C-Chrysalis, please, y-you have to do something for me…” You said as you reached out for her.
“Anything, just come back.” You could see it, she wasn’t hiding those pretty wings anymore. Such nice wings wasted on such a disgusting bug.
“Just, well…” You gripped your hand and made a grab for her horn. With magical strength, you begin to spin her around and throw her towards an empty containment unit. With a lift of your finger, you magically open one and send her inside before closing it. “If you’re gonna try that old routine, make sure you have a backup plan.” You said in his voice before laughing at her with your own.
“You soulless monster! That’s it, when I get out of here, I’m just going to rip your head right from your body! I know Anon will survive it, b-bu, y-y…” And as the weird goopy liquid filled up the tube, Chrysalis fell into a deep sleep.
You just waved at her as your dress slowly repaired itself. “Nighty night, pretty Chryssi. I’ll come back to take your magical essence later.” You look back at the last six who still defied you. “Well, time for the grand finale, right?” You remained calm, but deep inside, you were ever so angry. You looked at the fallen Tempest as you stepped out of the security room. You snapped your fingers, creating a barrier along the threshold as you walked over to her. “You know, you really made me mad. I’m all about love and friendship and you just tried to destroy me! Destroy Anon even. Wasn’t he the one who fixed you?” You expected her to answer with something, but she only gave you this cold and dark stare you just really didn’t like. You raise your hand, and begin having her wrapped up with the stone floor, in a hard cocoon. “I should destroy you, since you’re really annoying and all. But that raw magic you use is really strong. I think, instead, I’ll just make you my own personal guard.”
“Cozy Glow, you have to stop! What happened to you? I thought we were friends!” Silverstream said to you, as if she was trying to knock you to your senses or something.
“We are friends!” You say as you turn to her with a cheerful smile. “And as your friend, I have to ask you, don’t you think all of this is so so dumb? Headmare Twilight was right, you know? All of you are destined for greater things. Why don’t you six become my loyal order of knights? I can send you all back to convert your homes once I’ve taken Chrysalis’s magical essence for myself. Think about it, you’ll be the knights of friendship! That’s better than dealing with some dumb old school.”
“Yona not like that. Yona think Chrysalis right, Cozy Glow soulless monster.” Yona said to you with a growl.
“She’s right… I… I don’t feel anything in you, Cozy. No love, no care, no friendship. You were able to fake every emotion you ever made to us, and even I was tricked. You’re just like how she used to be. No, you’re even worse, much worse!” Ocellus said.
Your smile turned to a look of boredom. Should have known they’d be like that. You just decide to shrug at them. “Well, I tried.” You then look over at Sandbar as your eyes begin to glow a deep blue. “Sandbar! Listen to me. I am your best friend! I know you can feel it, I know you know it’s true. Come by my side, and fight your friends for me! They want to hurt me, Sandbar! Do it! Defend your Empress of Friendship!”
“Ah geez, it’s that stupid mind control thing, isn’t it? Sandbar, you gotta fight it!” Gallus said as he turned over to Sandbar, ready to slap him if need be.
But for some reason, Sandbar didn’t react at all. “I don’t even feel anything. I never did, remember? Wow, I guess that means Cozy Glow’s magic kinda stinks! Maybe we can win!”
W-what?! “That’s impossible! You’re right there! You shouldn’t be able to resist my call!” Okay, now you are getting angry! You were supposed to be stronger than this! How long was this stupid staff gonna take to get better?! Stupid Mister Tirek, he broke Anon and the staff, it’s his fault!
Smolder stopped for a moment, and looked at the element hanging around her neck. “Hey, Sandbar, I think you’re right. We have the elements, right? This is it! We gotta stand together, and use the elements to save the world!”
“That’s right, we have the elements! We have to use them. We have to save everycreature!” Silverstream said as she held up her element.
Hm, that could be a problem.
“You know what, yeah! We can do this! But, how do we even get them to MNGH!” With a magical tug, you rip Gallus’s element right off his neck.
You rip all their elements off their neck and into your fist. Well, that was easy.
“What was that? How to get them to work?” You say with a cruel little smile as you grip your fist with all the magical fury you had. And it seemed it was enough, the elements actually shattered to dust in your fist. “Oopsie! Guess we’ll never find out.”
All of them went pretty silent. Their silly expressions of bravado quickly turned to fear and astonishment, it was adorable. You started laughing at them. “Hahahaha! Look at all of you! You, the elements? The world’s last hope?! What a joke! Each and every one of you had an actual itsy bitsy chance to beat me and you all blew it! Golly, I can’t imagine how it must feel to feel so stupid!”
“Well then, allow me to give you a chance to feel that stated stupidity.” Said a voice from behind.
“What?” But before you could turn around, you suddenly felt yourself being held by a powerful magic.
The six looked behind you, and suddenly let out, all at once. “Chancellor Neighsay!”
“N-ngh, you?! I can’t believe I forgot about you!” You growled as you fought against the hold.
Neighsay was hurt, for sure, but with his restored magic, he was using the element of surprise to hold you down. “For once, I’m glad for that. I will not allow you to harm a single one of them.” Neighsay then turned to the six, calling out to them. “Listen to me, you must run from here. I’ll hold her off, but you need to escape. Call upon the princesses, call upon Starswirl the Bearded, they will know what to do!”
“What? Leave Chancellor behind?! Yona can’t do that, Yona can’t leave any friend behind!” Yona said as she called out to him.
“You have to, if she managed to-What?! NGH!” Neighsay cried out as you suddenly teleported in front of him, and slammed your crown onto his face, ending his spell and sending him down onto the ground. “NGH! Mngh… H-how? How did you…?”
You let out a little “Hmph” as you place the crown back on your head. You then look down at him like the trash he is. “Get over it, I’m not that weak, I’m just still getting used to this whole ‘magic’ and ‘human’ thing. Teleporting out of your dumb holding spell was literally a snap.” You then kick him on his side, making him groan and wince. “Who even are you, anyway? Nopony even cares about you.”
“T-they don’t need to. More importantly, nocreature can e-ever love you. Y-you’re a false empress. Friendship? Hah, I was against the princess for so long, and even I understand it better than you.” Neighsay mocked as he began to laugh at you.
You really did not find it funny. You looked back at the six. Oh wow, they didn’t even try to run, and they looked like they were about to rush over to you. You know, when you really thought about it, you really didn’t need this old grump in your new empire. He really didn’t need to be around at all. Without a word, you make motions with your fingers, flicking the air. In an instant, Neighsay is sent through the throne room wall, causing it to burst open as he is sent hurtling at high speeds into the distance. The six stopped in their tracks, and you just had to look at them with a cute and embarrassed little smile. “Golly, I’m sorry… I meant to flick him even harder. I’m not used to this body yet.”
“Y-you…” Silverstream couldn’t believe what she saw.
“H-he’s gone…” Sandbar was shocked, tears began to flow from his eyes.
They all actually were shedding tears for him, how pathetic.
“Oh boo hoo! Should have done what he said and ran, not like you’d have made it out in time with those elevators being so slow.” You beckoned them with your hand, ready to finish this. “Now, if you wanna try to fight me, then go ahead. I want to have some fun!”
Even after all that, they all just looked at you with tearful anger. What’s wrong with them? “Look, I gave you all chances to be part of my new world and you all blew it. What? You really care about Neighsay? Anon? Chrysalis?” You just rolled your eyes at them. “Please, those three alone would throw you to the timberwolves if it benefited them. And what about Twilight, huh? The Princess of Friendship? Why? Without that cutie map of hers she wouldn’t even attempt to leave this little town to help anypony, it’s all so dumb and fake. That’s why I’m the Empress! That’s why, with my power, I will uni-” But you are suddenly interrupted by Gallus.
“Shut up already! We get it! You want to be a pretend Empress of Friendship? Go ahead! But you will never be better than Headmare Twilight! You’re not even better than a typical griffon! You’re all talk! Why are you calling yourself the Empress of Friendship anyway? Controlling others isn’t friendship! It’s just being another bum who thinks he’s hot stuff just because he’s got a following. You’re nothing without your magic!” Gallus barked at you. You had no idea why he seemed so annoyed.
But you were done, you have grown bored with them. “Whatever. I’m just going to destroy you all right now and be done with it. But, as Equestria’s new merciful Empress, I’ll make sure to remove you from the memory of your family and friends, just to make sure they aren’t sad.”
Suddenly, Smolder exploded in anger, pointing at you. “That’s it! I’ve had enough! You’re not touching my brother! I’m gonna take you down, even if I have to burn this entire place to a crisp!”
Ooh, finally, a challenge. Smolder jumps at flies directly at you, and despite her size and age, manages to spit a huge fireball of pure rage at you. You just smirked and raised your hand, turning it into an ice ball that you immediately send right back into her, knocking her out of the air. “Sheesh, chill out, Smolder.”
“Yona help! Yona won’t let Cozy win!” Bellowed the dumb yak as she charged from behind Smolder, ready to take you down.
You just step back and prepare yourself. And with a mighty smash, you send her flying backwards by slamming your head into hers. “Ha! Did you forget whose body this is?” You point to your own head. “The only real thing he’s good for, and you went for it anyway! What a joke!”
You suddenly hear a bear’s roar from behind. Ocellus? Ohh, she’s trying to be violent, how adorable. You turn around and see her in a huge bear form, raising her claw to swipe at you. “Oh, I can’t BEAR to see you acting like this, Ocellus. You need to BEEhave, haha!” You laugh as you use a swirl of your finger to quickly turn her into a bee, and conjure a flyswatter with your other hand to swing at her. It only sends her flying as she falls to the ground, changing back to her normal form. If only she was close enough to a surface, you could have made her go smoosh!
Now what were the other three doing? Oh? There we go, seems they were all waiting for their chance to charge at you from three sides all at once. Wow, were they all really trying to take you down this way? Smolder, why did you have to lead this dumb attack? It isn’t any fun when no one can even touch you.
“Come on, guys! It’s now or never!” Sandbar let out, as the last three got ever so closer to you.
You just shrugged. Silly little fools. How to deal with this, how to deal with this? Oh, you know! A lightbulb literally appears over your head, immediately turning red as it causes the three to suddenly stop right before crashing into you. You just begin to hum, stepping away with your arms behind your back, as the lightbulb turns green. The three all crash into each other in a dizzying heap.
Pathetic. “Okay, you had your chance.” You raise your hand as you bring the pathetic heap of mismatched losers together, and begin to grip your fingers as you start to crush them against themselves. You could hear their pathetic groans and screams as you continued to ‘bring them together’. “...But you can think of things this way. At least you’re all going away togethe-wha?” What the?
A tumbleweed? A tumbleweed suddenly just blew past you. And… The soft strumming of a guitar? Whistling? And the sudden approach of the sound of spurs.
“Hold it right there, missy. You ain’t won yet.”
That voice…
You had no idea who that was.
But it became clear when the throne doors swung around like saloon doors. It couldn’t be, but it was. Discord had stepped into the throne room in a cowboy outfit. He had white boots with golden spurs, a blue handkerchief around his neck, a white vest, a holster, and a ten gallon white cowboy hat. “Leave ‘em alone, yer fight is with me.” He said in a thick western accent, pointing to himself.
Oh…
Oh, he wasn’t serious, was he? You were so flabbergasted that you didn’t realize your grip loosened on the six. “What are you doing?”
“Doin’ what I do best, deal with the trash.” Discord said as he took wide steps towards you, stopping in front of you with no fear in his eyes. “Yer evil-doin’ ways is comin’ to an end.”
Oh, now this was adorable. This could actually be the last good fun you’d have before you make Equestria bend to your will. You snap your fingers, turning your empress outfit into a cute cowgirl outfit, blue in color, with a red rook badge on your chest. Your hat was black, since you were apparently the big villain. “Big words comin’ from a big mouth. Discord, ya know this town ain’t big enough for the both of us.”
“Too true, little missy, too true.” Discord said as he took out a small rectangular case. He opened it, revealing red lollipops from within. He took two of them from the case, and stuck one in his mouth, offering you the other. “Want a pop?”
You stared at the lollipop. He doesn’t have the magic to really do anything to you, you even felt that he was being genuine in this whole cowboy thing. It was fun, so you obliged. “Mighty big thanks to ya. But that ain’t gonna save you or yer friends.”
“Oh, I know. But this is the big showdown, the final draw. You n’ me…” Discord brings his paw near his holster, as he stretches his claws. “Let’s do this.”
You smirked at him as you bit into the lollipop, and tossed it to the side. “It’s like that, eh? Discord, ah got enough firepower to obliterate Canterlot. What makes ya think you can take me on?
Discord looks back at the six. “Friendship, Ma’am, friendship. Ya took two things from me that I care about deeply like. And like a chicken lookin’ for its eggs in a coyote cave, I’m crazy enough to at least get one of ‘em back.”
You step back, and open your arms wide. “Then take yer best shot, ya got me curious to see what ya can do.”
“Thank you kindly. Ah promise you ain’t gonna like this at all.” Discord readies himself, tensing his paw over his holster.
You waited, actually excited to see what it is he was going to do. It’s a shame it’d be over so quickly, but at least you enjoyed yourself.
Discord finally does it, he pulls from his holster… Information cards? What?! You drop character as you hunch forward in astonishment. “Uhhhh, are those cards?”
Discord nodded. “Very special cards. All these cards holds mah opinionated facts, honest and true, that are for Anon’s ears. I reckon yer cowerin’ in yer boots over ‘em”
You slap your face with how terribly disappointing this was. “Why was I expecting anything but more dumbness from the dumbest thing in Equestria? You know that won’t work, right? You know what? Whatever. Just say what you want to say, at least I’ll get to see your face when you realize you wasted your time.”
Discord breaks character as well, as he taps the cards against his talons, smirking at you. “Realize? I happen to be a master of wasting time, just to let you know. But enough about that, let’s get on with the show.” Discord holds up his first card, and begins to read. “Ahrm, hrm… Devil May Cry Two is the superior Devil May Cry game in the series, next to that nice little reboot of course.”
What? “What… What does that even mean?”
“It means what I said it means. Let’s see, next card. As it is understood, Swat Kats was canceled for more Captain Planet. In my honest opinion, the entire 'cartoon cartoon' line up should have been canceled for even more seasons of the show. Discord said as he tossed the next card aside.
“What are you talking about?!” You yelled at him, angry and confused. Your hands… They were shaking.
“Shadow the Hedgehog is the better character, he should have taken over the entire series with an endless stream of games starring him.” Discord reads off, tossing the next card.
“Stop it!” You couldn’t stop shaking. You were feeling an odd darkness over you, you couldn’t control it, you felt yourself slipping.
“Video games are too hard these days. They should just be walking simulators.” Discord read off once again.
“W-what’s going on!? I can’t control myself!” You screamed, as you fell to your knees, holding on to your head.
“Ah, and finally. My Little Pony needed another season of that third generation. Who knows what further horrors we could have had? Something worse than that version of Scootaloo, I promise you.” Discord said as his eyes slowly shifted towards you.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You screamed as you fell forward.
You…
You…
“Discord…Ngh…” Holy shit… You felt fucking terrible. “Y-your opinions suck.”
“Anon…” Discord kneeled down before you, checking to see if you were alright. “Are you alright?”
“I don’t even know… And…” You stood up, and looked at your… Fingers? Holy fuck, you had fingers?! “Holy shit! What happened to me?! Did I change back to my human self? But… With soft little fingers?”
“Anon?! Anon! Is that really you?!” Smolder asks as the six rush up to you.
“Is he back? Mister Discord, is he? Why does he still look like Cozy’s weird form?” Silverstream asked.
“Ah, that. I’m afraid this is only temporary. She’ll claw her way back out soon.” Discord said, with actual lament in his voice.
“What?! She’s not gone?!” You asked. Fucking hell! “Then what’s going on?! How did you get me out in the first place?!”
“Easy. She can manipulate love and friendship. And I’m sure she can manipulate some form of chaos. But there is one thing she can never control… Unfiltered nerd rage.” Discord said with a soft chuckle.
“So, what do we do then? How do we get rid of her? Because if she comes back, she’s gonna annihilate us.” Gallus said.
“I didn’t plan that far ahead. I just wanted a chance to talk to Anon one last time, since I wasn’t able to free Fluttershy from her trance. I didn’t want to go away without at least talking to one of you.” Discord said, as he slowly placed his paw on your head.
What?...
“Discord… Oh, damn, man. No… You can’t just give up, we can still do this.” Fuck… No, dammit. Dammit…
“Sadly, I’m not so optimistic. But I am glad I was able to talk to you one last time, and annoy you one last time as well.” Discord said with a weak laugh. “If you are ever able to, could you tell Fluttershy… That I… Well, I’ll leave the words up to you, I can’t seem to say what I want to say.”
Discord…
You hugged onto him, and you began to cry. “Di-Di… Dad, come on, this can’t be it. It can’t be over. Don’t give up! You’re Discord! You can do fucking anything!”
“Not this time, I’m afraid.” Discord sighed as he gently hugged you back. “The only way, I think, that can save the day, is something greater than her form of ‘friendship’. A true understanding of what harmony truly is. A knowledge I believe even Twilight hadn’t attained quite yet. For now, though, I only wish to enjoy your company.”
Ngh…
You just buried your face into his chest fur, crying. “This is my fault! I should have just blown her away! But I had to be a cocky little shit! I’m such a piece of shit!”
“Anon, do not put the blame on yourself. I too had the chance to end things, but I just had to make a show of it. I didn’t anticipate that the filly was this capable. Do not feel alone, Anon, I’ll be here for you until the very end. We both may have made a mistake, but we can at least be together for these last few moments despite that.” Discord said softly, patting your head.
“...And we’re not leaving either.” Smolder let out.
What? “W-what? No, you guys need to get out of here! She’ll end all of you the moment she comes back!” You say as you look towards her.
“Run? Yona not run! Yona’s best friends all here. Yona protect friends until Yona no longer here. That yak way.” Yona says with a nod.
“I’m not running either! Running, hiding, that’s how the Storm King took over everything. On behalf of hippogriffs everywhere, I’m staying right here, until the end.” Silverstream said with a nod.
“...And besides, we still need to make her pay for what she did to Neighsay.” Gallus said, pounding his fist into his talons.
Wait… Wut? “Neighsay? What happened to Neighsay?” And as you said that, they all became very tense.
Ocellus hung her head down, and pointed towards the hole in the wall. “She… She… Anon, he’s gone.”
WHAT?!
SHE KILLED HIM?!
SHE WAS KILLING PONIES?!
FUCK THIS SHIT!
You can’t! Not like this! You can’t be responsible for letting this demon out into the world. “...End me.”
“What?!” All seven of them let out in surprise.
“End me! Just do it! Don’t give me your crap about that I can still be saved. If she comes out, that's it, it’s game over! Just hold me down so I don’t flake out and do it already! Please!” You shout towards them.
But they weren’t doing it.
None of them would do it.
No one was willing to do it, when they felt they could still save everyone, including you.
And that’s when you felt it. You wretched in pain as you felt her clawing her way back out. “Ngh! No! No! I can… Feel her… Coming back!”
“Anon, it doesn’t matter. We’re not going to destroy you…” Sandbar then looks back at the other five, and nods to them. “We’re not giving up. We’re fighting to the end, together.”
Dammit! This wasn’t the time!
This…
You suddenly stopped moving.
Discord slowly shook you “Anon?”
That soul
His disgusting soul
For that foul draconequus to put you down into that dark ugly soul
You screamed in rage as you grabbed Discord with your magic and slammed him into the ceiling. “YOU!” You then slam him into the ground. “How dare you!” You then continue to slam him into the walls and floor over and over in a rage. “I don’t even care how you did it! You put me in there! That horrible place! I saw mares, lots of mares, and tentacles! They tried to grab me! Do things to me! That icky disgusting soul! ALL THOSE SCREAMS! THOSE MOANS! THE THINGS I SAW! I’LL MAKE YOU PAY!” You grab Mister Tirek’s armor with your magic and slam it into Discord multiple times like it was a hammer to an anvil. After you had finished violently slamming him, you brought him close to you and growled. “Now… Apologize! Or I’ll make it worse!”
Discord, broken and bruised, just gave you a broken smile as he said. “Could you get my other side? It’s been bothering me for weeks.”
That’s it! You were done! No more niceness! It’s over! “Oh, you think this is funny?” You said in a cruel low tone. “Well, how about this? I already have Anon. So how about I make you watch as I make Fluttershy dive into a volcano? How does that sound? Oh, golly gee, and you made friends with Big Mac, Scootaloo, and Spike, right? Wouldn’t it be oh so silly to make them tear each other apart? I think it’d make a fun little distraction, don’t you think?” And there it was, Discord was finally looking at you with silent horror. He didn’t even know what to say!
“That’s enough!” You heard a shout from behind you. You look back. And… Wow, them again? They wanted to go again?
You toss Discord aside, groaning towards the six. “You six are REALLY getting on my nerves. You realize it’s over, right? YOU LOST! WHY CAN’T YOU GET THAT!?”
“It’s never over…” Sandbar said rather bravely towards you. “We’ll keep on fighting until the end.”
“We’ll save Anon. We’ll save the professors and Headmare Twilight! We’ll save Equestria! Not for us, but for them. I’m willing to give up everything, not to be a hero hippogriff, but because I want my friends to have happy lives.” Silverstream said.
“Everycreature, every race, they are all counting on us. Even Neighsay believed in us. You don’t know what friendship is, you could never understand. I’ve had enough, we’re gonna take you down forever. Even if you take one of us down, I’ll do everything to get everycreature back up.” Smolder said, raising her fist in earnest.
“Yona fight together with friends. Yona never give up. Yona protect, Yona will be shield, to protect all friends!” Yona said, stomping one hoof forward.
“I’m fighting for my friends, and my family, even her. Chrysalis deserves to be happy too, and if that means getting Anon back, then I mean it when I say he’s coming back. S-so… Fuck you!” Ocellus screamed out, forcing those last words, those last disgusting words.
“...Everything they just said? Yeah, that times a thousand.” Gallus said, not knowing what to add, so he just reinforced what everyone else had said.
“We’re doing this, together!” They all let out.
Was this a joke? Because this isn't funny. Nothing was funny anymore. “Just give it a rest already! You already lost once, it isn’t like you can win now”
“Maybe we can’t. But we also know bad guys NEVER win! We’re gonna stop you, Cozy, no matter what!” Sandbar said as he took a step towards you, like a doofus.
“Alright, I’m done! It’s time for you all to go squish now!” You said as you raised your hand and gripped it into a fist.
But…
Wait…
Nothing was happening to them.
“What’s going on!? I said ‘go squish’!” You said and you tried crushing them again. What was going on?! It wasn’t working! “Go squish! Go squish! GRRR!” You growled as your hands began to glow. “Fine! Then blow up into pieces!” You tossed magical bolts towards them, but it just bounced off of them as they continued to give you defiant stares. “What is going on here?!”
“I don’t even know, but whatever it is, I’m down for it!” Gallus said, confused but completely into whatever this was.
Suddenly, you begin to hear a squawking laugh from behind. When you looked back, you could see Mister Tirek in his cage. He removed his twisty tie, and was laughing? Was he laughing at you? “What’s so funny?!”
“Isn’t it obvious? This is it! This is what I’ve been waiting to see! Deus Ex Machina! You’re such a fool, Cozy Glow! We could have taken them down easily together! But now, you’ll get to suffer the same fate as everycreature before you. And I get a front row seat.” Mister Tirek said with a hearty laugh. “I can’t believe it! They really are the prophesied elements!”
Prophesied elements? That’s impossible! You crushed the elements so easily in your hand! “That’s it! I’ll burn you all into nothing! Grawr!” You scream as you cause a giant blue inferno to burst on their position. For a while, you could only hear the crackle of the flame. Good, it meant they were burned away. “Golly, Mister Tirek, what was that you were saying?”
“I think he said we were the elements!” You heard a shout from within the flames. In seconds, the flames are extinguished in a swirl as the six stood tall, unscathed, and glowing. Glowing?! How?!
“Look, everycreature! We’re all glowy!” Silverstream said as she looked at herself. She also started to float in midair.
So did Sandbar. “Woah! I’ve seen this before! This is what using the elements look like.”
“The elements? How? Cozy destroyed them.” Smolder said, as she too began to lift above the ground.
“No, Cozy destroy rocks. Yona can see, Yona know, it like dream said. We elements, we are power of friendship! We not need rocks for that!” Yona said in excitement, as she too began to float.
“I… I feel so warm.” Ocellus said as she looked at herself.
“So this is it, huh? Real friendship? Yeah, heh, you guys. You guys are the best. But we’re not done yet.” Gallus said as he looked over at you. “We got a world to save. Let’s do this!”
They were starting to glow brighter and brighter. What was going on?! How was this possible?! “No! This can’t be! This isn’t right! You’re cheating! You’re all cheating! You’re not supposed to be able to…” Forget it, FORGET IT! JUST BLAST THEM! “JUST GO AWAY!” You said as you aimed both your hands at them, and fired a powerful blue beam of magic.
But their eyes, they all began to glow a pupil-less white. Your beam, even as it made contact with them, was doing nothing. And that's when you saw it.
That stupid rainbow beam, they somehow fired it off, and it was cutting through your own beam.
No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t stop it! It was getting closer, and closer…
Closer…
Closer…
And… Wait…
Are you dumb? Why were you trying to stop it? You can’t stop it.
But...
...You can dodge it.
You quickly let go of your beam, and ballerina-dodge to the side, causing the beam to pass right by you.
You take a bow, and look up with a cruel smirk as they begin to descend back to the ground. They looked more shocked than ever before, even turning white in the face.
HAHAHAHA! MORONS! HOW DID THEY EVEN THINK YOU’D JUST STAND THERE AND TAKE IT?!
“HAHAHAHA! Look at all of you! Look! Golly, if only I had a camera right now, I’d take a million snapshots on how stupid you all look. The power of the elements? The magic of friendship? Were you all serious? That beam was so slow! How did anycreature ever get hit by it?!” You said to them, laughing childishly and happily at their misfortune.
“Like this…”
What? Huh?
When you look back, you could already see a rainbow light encompassing your position. By the time you had fully looked around, the rainbow beam was already at your face. You didn’t even have time to put your hands up to try to block it as you screamed and got sent flying back. “WHHHHAAAAATTTT??!?!”
Ngh! Agh! You slid back, falling face forward on the ground. “N-ngh…” You slowly looked up, and when you did.
No…
Discord was standing there, he had a glow of his own that began to slowly disappear. “...Never mess with my son. That’s my job.” He said, standing strong, as he pointed to himself.
N-ngh, he can’t be an element. How?! How even?!
It doesn’t matter, you were still here, it didn’t work!
You slowly began to stand, chuckling madly as you began to contemplate how everycreature in this room would suffer.
But when you looked at your hand…
“W-what?” It was cracked, and cracking up. When you pointed it forward, no magic was coming out whatsoever. “N-no! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! HOW?!”
How?! NO! IMPOSSIBLE!
You began to stomp over to Discord, as he produced a chair, a table, and a tea cup under a saucer. He even produced a teapot to pour tea into said cup. None of that mattered! It didn’t make sense! IT SHOULD MAKE SENSE! “TELL ME!”
Discord just boredly sat down on the seat, pouring himself a cup of tea and taking a sip. “Hm? What now?”
“You know what!” You said as you approached the table, pointing at him with your hand, a few fingers left remaining on it. “That’s impossible! You can’t use the elements!”
“Oh! Oh, yes, that.” Discord took another sip, looking at you boredly. “Well, of course I can’t use the elements.”
“THEN HOW?!” You growled at him! Nothing mattered anymore, because this had to be a dream, it made no sense!
“How? I simply absorbed the beam and sent it back into you. Golly, Cozy Glow, why are you suddenly so tense? You’re falling apart!” Discord said as he fluttered his eyes at you innocently.
“TENSE?!” Your eye began to turn red, twitching, before falling out. “TENSE?! IF YOU GOT HIT BY IT! YOU SHOULD HAVE TURNED TO STONE!”
Discord scoffed at that notion as he poured himself another cup. “Preposterous. As somepony with very intimate knowledge of that beam, given I’ve been hit with it twice, it isn’t something that just turns you to stone.”
“This is a dream…” It had to be… IT HAD TO BE! “T-that makes no sense! W-what else can it do?” You said, with low mad chuckles.
“You’re assuming it stops chaos. But that simply isn’t the case. If you had done your proper research, you’d know that it stops evil. Seriously, everypony knows that. Suddenly, it just feels like bad form to explain the rest.” Discord said, smirking at you arrogantly.
“TELL ME!” You shouted towards him.
“Alright, alright, no need to shout.” Discord said, taking yet another sip. “If you’d done your studies, you know that the beam can also purify evil. Now, I admit, I had no idea the beam could be fired without the elements, but it’s a good thing it did, isn’t it? Ah, but you must be wondering, how did I absorb the beam in the first place? You see, my dear, all I could think about was getting my dear Fluttershy and my loving son back. Nothing else mattered, so I risked it all. Who knows? Maybe I should have turned to stone.” Discord then shrugged. “But I didn’t, how lucky am I?
What?
That…
That was…
That was it? “Y-you just… Took a guess?”
Discord nodded. “Mhmm, but now you’re just making it sound cheap.”
You started to giggle, then laugh crazily. That’s all it was?!
You had it, everything in your grasp. You destroyed the elements! YOU DESTROYED THEM! Deus Ex Machina?! It was real?! NO! NO! IT WASN’T FAIR! You looked at yourself, you were just falling apart! Why?! You did everything right! You just…
You just wanted to have fun…
You just..
You…
You fell forward on the table, panting. “D-Discord? Oh.. God, I feel like I’m falling apart.”
“That’s because you are, Anon. Oh, by the way, I saved the day. Isn’t that grand?” Discord said as he took a sip of his tea.
“I-I… Y-you did?” You slowly stood up, and looked at yourself. “This body, it’s… I feel it, I can feel her leaving me.”
“I’m glad. You had me worried, you know? Just a tad, I seriously thought I’d have to destroy you to at least save Fluttershy. I’m glad I hesitated and put my bet on destiny. Destiny…” Discord snickered to himself. “It always has a way of bringing everything back to order. Not my idea of fun, but it is useful.”
That wonderfully cocky bastard, he literally took a longshot approach to winning. But, still, how did he do it? You swear you could see it, like Cozy’s memories were merging into yours. “T-the elements? I can feel that's what it was. How’d that happen?”
“Does it matter? I don't care how it happened, it just happened. Now can you come back to me, please? You are holding up Fluttershy from coming back to her senses.” Discord said as he stared at you.
Heh, of course. But it wasn’t over yet. You had to have this finish in a grand way, to make sure Cozy Glow knows how badly she lost. “I-I get that. But, Discord, you gotta do something for me. You gotta finish her off.”
Discord raised an eyebrow at you. “I believe I’ve already done that.”
“No, I mean, really finish her off. I mean, I’m gonna let her have whatever control she can get, and you just knock her the fuck out and get me out of this form. And I have just the way to do it.” You say as you give him a cool grin.
“A way to… Oh no, Anon, don’t tell me it’s another one of your human references.” Discord said with disgust.
“Are you serious?! You’ve done Harry Potter references before I even got here.” You shouted towards him.
“...Do I need to explain to you Dimensional theory again?” Discord asked you, boredly.
“Are we seriously going to argue about this, right now? Right fucking now?” You say, looking at him with the same look.
You just stare at each other.
You both then smirk.
Discord shrugs and tosses the table away. “Alright, what do you want me to do?”
“Shin Shoryuken, and you gotta put in the effort for this one. You should be able to do it with the magic you have.” You explain to him.
“Shin Shoryuken, hm? Let’s see…” Discord pulls out a book labeled ‘Big Book of Dumb Anon References’ and sifts through it. “Hm, hm, hm… Ah, here we are, an uppercut move from something called Street Fighter.” He murmurs to himself as he reads on, sighs, then tosses the book away as he suddenly has a red bandana and white gi. “Alright, I think I get how it works. Are you ready?”
You smirk back at him. “Oh yeah, I’m ready. Here we go…” You close your eyes, and let yourself fall back into your soul.
And…
“Ngh? I’m back? I’m… Back?! Grrr, to go back in there! I won’t l-whatGFSDSFSDFSDF” Suddenly, you felt Discord’s knuckled paw hit the underside of your chin.
“SHIN!”
You felt yourself being launched off the ground, from just his paw pushing you up harshly as he performed a rising uppercut on your chin, rising with you as you scream and shatter into nothingness. You lost? YOU LOST?! NO! IT REALLY WAS OVER! WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG?! YOU JUST WANTED TO RULE EVERYTHING! WAS... WAS THAT SO BAD?
THEY'LL PAY...
THEY'LL ALL PAY!
“SHORYUKEN!”
Discord landed back down, catching your pony head and body with his talons and paw, as he posed.
YOU WIN!
PERFECT!
The six just stood there, confused, hearing the announcer and the sound of points being counted down.
“What just happened?” Smolder asked.
“I-I think we won?” Sandbar said, just, unable to comprehend the situation. "Yeah, we won... I think."
“Yup… Never gonna get used to those two… Like, ever.” Gallus said.
Cozy Glow was defeated. It should have been a time of celebration, the nightmare was finally over.
But at what cost?
You, Tempest, Grubber, Discord, and the six stood near the broken wall where Neighsay had been thrown through. The hearthwarming day sky was inviting and warm despite the chill of the winter winds.
Despite the height of the castle tower, you could see ponies below seemingly coming to their senses. But even with all that, there was still the fact that Neighsay was gone.
“So, there's really nothing you can do?” You asked Discord, wiping a tear from your eye.
“Sadly not, my magic hasn't fully been restored yet. but even if it had come to me in an instant, I cannot bring anypony back to life.” Discord let out a lamentful sigh. “...It is actually something that worries me, at times.”
Silverstream broke into tearful crying as she hugged onto Gallus, she couldn’t bear the thought.
“So that’s it then? Ngh…” Smolder felt her body tense, wiping tears from her eyes. “He’s just gone?”
“He’s a hero, and should be remembered as such. Without him, we wouldn’t have been able to even access the town.” Tempest said as she bowed her head in respect.
"And he was n-never really bad at all, he always cared. He was just worried things might go wrong with the school." Ocellus said.
“Yeah, the guy wasn’t that much of a jerk. Mnngh…” Grubber reached into his pockets, grabbing a handful of cake dust, the last of what he had, and let it blow into the wind. “I know it ain’t much, but it’s all I got. For you, I hope ya can enjoy it like I can.”
“We gotta do something for him, y’know? We gotta make sure everycreature remembers Chancellor Neighsay!” Sandbar says, tearful, but determined to keep his memory alive.
Yona nodded, agreeing with him. “Yona say we all make statue, put it around school, so all remember and know great things Chancellor Neighsay did.”
…Wait…
“Actually, what’s up with that? We defeated Cozy Glow, right? So why hasn’t everything changed back?” You asked as you looked around.
“That would be the staff’s doing, I’m afraid. With it gaining the power of chaos and harmony, it was able to make any changes it made into a reality. When Tirek modified the castle, it made it a permanent fixture to the world.” Discord explained.
“Well, we can change everything back, right?” Sandbar asked.
“I’m sure it’s possible.” Discord said. “We merely need to find a way to revert everything back to what it once was. I’d do it myself, but chaos magic may cause a bit of an issue with the process. I’m sure it’d be funny, but I’ll not put Fluttershy at risk.”
You lean over the broken wall a bit, holding on to your head to make sure it doesn’t fall off, as you let yourself say. “It was nice knowing you, Chancellor. Thank you. And I promise, I’ll never forget you.”
Suddenly, you all hear glass breaking from inside the security room.
“Golly, if you’re all going to miss him so much, I’ll just make sure you all join him!” That voice! Oh god, no!
Even worse, suddenly all the lights go red as a female computer voice suddenly begins to speak. “Self-destruct activated, arming explosive device.”
You all turn to see that the containment unit holding Cozy Glow’s body had been busted through, the sleep causing liquid spilling on the ground as Cozy, her twisted form even further changed, hunches over the security table, above the self destruct button.
“Oh… Right, I forgot we only beat her in a metaphysical sense.” Discord stated as he simply observed her. “What now? You can’t possibly think you can defeat any of us in such a ghastly form.”
“Discord, she isn’t planning on fighting us! She’s planning on blowing us all up!” You let out.
But it was already starting. Cozy took a step back as the security table began to open up, revealing a blue mechanical sphere that began to glow. Silverstream just looked over at it, and her tearful eyes suddenly became full of anger. “What are you doing?! What is that?! Why can’t you just leave us alone! You’ve already done enough!”
“Tempest! That’s a bomb! Ain’t any bomb I’ve ever seen, but that’s a bomb!” Grubber said as he pointed towards it.
“You’re all so dumb, of course it’s a bomb! I did ask Mister Tirek to set this up for me before I went to sleep, remember? I don’t think you all realize how much you messed up! You ruined my plans! So I’m going to ruin all of you!” Cozy said with mad anger as the computer voice suddenly let out…
“Explosive device armed, detonation in thirty seconds.”
“Discord! You’re up! An Electro-magnetic pulse, right? You should be able to do that with the magic you have!” Tempest called out to him.
“Oh, I’m afraid that isn’t going to work. I can already tell that Tirek was wise enough to make this entire room immune to such a power. Why wouldn’t he, given his cybernetic form? Could you just imagine just being turned off? Just like that? Simply dreadful! Besides, there really isn’t anything to worry about, is there? Tirek?” Discord said as he looked up at Tirek’s cage with a smirk.
Wut?! “NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! SHE’S GOING TO BLOW US UP!” You scream out at him. Goddammit, now wasn’t the time for his fucking shenanigans! You didn’t even have the horn to warp everyone out yourself. It was gone, just like the staff, when Cozy’s dream body exploded.
“Oh, relax, Discord is right.” Tirek said, with no worry at all. “As if I’d actually let her tell me what to do. I created her little bomb, but I didn’t actually bother to make it anything to worry about. The worst it’ll do is blow up the throne room. Discord can easily warp us all away. Right, Discord?”
“Twenty five seconds until detonation.”
“Of course I can.” Discord said as he turned around. “Or we can simply walk out. Come along, everycreature, we don’t want to be overwhelmed by the smell of roast parrot.”
Suddenly, Tirek exploded with rage. “YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE?! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! YOU HAVEN’T EVEN FREED THE PRINCESS AND THE BUG YET, AND YOU’RE JU-” But suddenly Tirek is interrupted as Cozy begins to laugh. “...What?! You find this funny as well?! It isn’t as if he’s going to let you walk out of here either!”
“Oh, silly silly Mister Tirek. Silly stupid Mister Discord. Do you really think I didn’t figure that out too? Do you think I made myself less cute just to lure in dumb ole’ Twilight? Wowie, you all really just thought I’d just drop the tropes I learned from that dumb Storm King the moment I thought I’d win? Haven’t you all ever heard of a contingency plan before?” Cozy asked, with a malicious smirk on her toothy grin.
“Twenty seconds until detonation”
You didn’t like this, you didn’t like this at all. “W-what are you talking about?”
“You should know, Professor. Didn’t that changeling that harassed you all the time also survive an explosion? Chaos magic, right? I gotta admit, it was way too good to pass up. All I had to do was force Mister Discord’s essence through me when we both grabbed that staff to give myself a body to survive a chaotically destructive blast. A blast, by the way, that will extend well past Canterlot.” Cozy explained as she hugged onto the bomb. “Golly, it feels so warm and nice.”
Tempest reacted before anyone else, as she managed to figure out what was going on. “You were filling the bomb with chaos magic when you took over Anon’s body?”
“Yup! Not at first, I had to get used to things. But when I put the barrier in front of the security room, I made sure it was made of chaos magic, a magic that constantly fed the bomb. So, there really is no hope for any of you. None of you can escape. You can’t even blow up the bomb with magic! Because, well, it’d just blow up!” Cozy said.
“Discord, you fool! Warp us out of here! All of us! I command you!” Tirek said in a panic, trying to knock the cage off the hook to try to open it with a fall. He wanted out, even if it was meaningless without wings.
Discord, however, actually seemed frozen in fear.
“Fifteen seconds until detonation.”
“Discord… You’re screwing with us, right? You can save us from the blast, right? Just get rid of the bomb.” You say to him. Like, shit, he can do that right? He had his magic!
Discord gulped, as his voice became frail. “W-with the magic I have now, I’d say I could warp it away about six hundred feet at most… Not enough to escape the blast. I-I don’t know what to do… My magic isn't returning fast enough.”
“That’s right! This is what you get for ruining everything! If I can’t rule the world! I’ll watch it burn! Mister Discord and I will survive this blast, oh we really will. But Mister Discord won’t be himself anymore. Nope nope nope, not at all. He’ll lose everycreature he ever loved, lose his mind, and burn the whole world to the ground! And me? I’m gonna get a bag of popcorn and just watch!” Cozy Glow cheered with malicious laughter. “There’s nothing any of you can do to stop this! No magic, no dus exies dumbness, no elements, no nothing! I win! I always win!”
“Ten seconds until detonation.”
Discord tensed once again, and grabbed onto you, hugging you tightly. “Anon, I’m scared!”
…
“I’m scared too!” You began to cry as you hugged back. Fucking hell, not like this!
“T-Tempest…” Grubber looked onto her, frozen in fear.
Tempest just warmly smiled towards him, and hugged him close. “It was a pleasure, Grubber, to fight by your side.”
“Guys…” Gallus began to crack up into hysterical crying as he hugged onto everyone he could. “I’m gonna miss you all!”
This was it…
The last sound was just going to be her laughing maniacally, wasn’t it?
“Five second until detonation”
Nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
You couldn’t even say goodbye
“...To the deepest pits of Tartarus with you!”
“Wha? WHAT?!” Suddenly, Cozy finds herself actually holding onto the bomb as she feels a pull behind her. “Wh-what is that?! WHERE DID THAT PORTAL COME FROM?!” Out of nowhere, a portal had opened from behind Cozy Glow, and it began to pull her in, sucking her up with enough force for her to actually lose her footing.
Wha? “Discord?! Is that you?!”
“No… No, it isn’t, where did th-Oh, there is absolutely no way.” Discord was in shock as his eyes shifted towards the broken wall.
“Chancellor Neighsay!” You all let out as he stood there. His head was wrapped with… Was that wrapping paper with presents on it? And one of his legs was held up with a cardboard cast, being held aloft with peppermint wrapping paper. His left eye was bruised up, and most of his wounds were covered with the same wrapping paper as well. Also, that medallion he wore, it was glowing and sparkling. The fuck?
“No! No! No! Just blow up already! Just blow-Wha?” The bomb began to slowly roll towards the portal, taking Cozy along with it. “No! No! This isn’t possible! Don’t do this!”
“Three”
“Ngh! Stay still! Come on! Stay still!” Cozy cried out as she tried to prevent herself and the bomb from being sucked in with all her might. “Stay Still!”
“Two”
“Ngh! Come on!” Cozy screamed out as her and the bomb neared the portal, inches away from being sucked in. “Ngh… Hehe… Haha… Hahahaa! So that’s it then? I just lose?”
“One”
“That’s fine… Totally fine. Because you know what? I’ll be back. My body won’t age. And no matter how much it changes, I never will. Bye, evercreature! HAHAHAHAHA!” Was the last thing Cozy let out as her and the bomb were sucked into the portal, the portal itself rupturing with a loud roar as it expanded from the explosion, and yet, immediately dissipated a second after.
Tirek fell over in the cage, face first. “What a disturbed child…” was all he could lt out before falling unconscious.
“Ngh, hehe, seems I made it in time after all…” Neighsay said as he fell to his knees, groaning in pain.
Wut?
What in the fuck?!
Everyone in the room rushed up to check on him, excited that he was alive. But you, Tempest, Grubber, and Discord? You all just stood there.
“So, did we, like, not actually make it? Because there ain’t no way he’s standing there. We’re dust, right?” Grubber asked, as he began to slowly touch himself all over to see if he was dead.
“I… I honestly don’t know.” Tempest said as she let out a heavily relieved gasp of breath. “I can honestly say that this is just… Impossible.”
“Discord? What’s going on?” You asked, flushed white, as you look up at him the best you can with your neckless body.
“I haven’t the foggiest… But, I think he just stole my glory.” Discord said as he began to loosen up, his brow suddenly furrowing.
Wut?
“Are you fucking serious?! That’s what you’re worried about?! That he stole your ‘kill’?!” Like, holy shit, the impossible just happened and that’s what he gives a damn about?!
“Well, we’re all okay, aren’t we? The danger is over, so of course I’m going to be upset that he just came and stole my thunder! Wait here, I’m going to find out what’s going on!” Discord said as he stomped on over to the guy.
You just slumped onto the ground, your nerves were shot. “Why would I expect anything different?”
“He is how he is, it seems. Though, I must admit, I am curious on how he managed to survive the fall.” Tempest said as she began to walk over to where he was.
Grubber just looked at you and shrugged before joining Tempest at her side.
“...So, you’re really okay?! C-can I give you a hug? Maybe that’ll help make you feel better!” Silverstream asked as she opened her arms to Neighsay.
“Ngh, I’d actually appreciate that, if my body wasn’t so bruised. I’m j-just glad I made it in time, I was afraid there may have been casualties.” Neighsay said as he tensed painfully. Even if he was here, the throw obviously left him unable to do much else.
“Yes yes, we’re all glad you made it.” Discord said as he gently pushed the others aside to get to Neighsay. “But the real question is, how are you here? Deus Ex Machina is one thing, but there was no way for you to survive something like that.”
“Are you serious? No, never mind.” Gallus said as he face-palmed with his talons. “Of course he’s serious.”
“How could you say something like that?! We thought he was gone!” Smolder said, her fist shaking as she looked towards Discord angrily.
“And we thought wrong. The fight is over, so now it’s time to learn how he made it back here before I lose my mind!” Discord said as he held on to his head. “I tried running multiple scenarios in my head, and I just can’t see how he could have made it.”
Neighsay just chuckled weakly, he didn’t seem offended at all. “Well, I suppose this is you worrying about me in your own way. And I must admit, I would be deeply curious as well, given the circumstances. But to put it simply, I had help from a new friend.”
Wut? Now you had to approach. A new friend? When? How?! “A new friend? Who? No offense, but you were kinda still in jerk mode until we reached the top of the castle.”
“I have to admit, I’m curious as well. I couldn't even survive a fall like that, no matter what I tried.” Tempest said.
“Well, I need to take a break for a moment. But perhaps he’d like to explain…” Neighsay looks behind himself, towards the broken wall. “You may come in, the one you’re worried about is still sleeping in one of those odd containment tubes.”
“O-oh… Hello everycreature.” A familiar being walked along the outside of the broken wall and took a step inside. Those moose like horns, green body, and fairy like wings.
You gotta be fucking crazy. King fucking Thorax?!
“K-King Thorax!?” Ocellus was the first to let out before anyone else. She quickly rushed up to him, confused, but still respectful enough to bow. “M-my king, erm, um…” Suddenly, she just tilted to the side, befuddled by it all. “I… I’m so confused.”
Discord’s jaw dropped to the floor. He literally had to roll it back up before he could say anything else. “Please, please, please… Please… Please tell me he has nothing to do with this.”
“W-well, I can see you’re all rather confused as to why I’m here.” King Thorax said, before laughing nervously. “Well, you see, it’s actually kind of funny. The reason I’m even here is, well, sort of Anon’s fault.”
Discord’s malevolent eyes shifted towards you. “I knew it! I knew you’d have something to do with this!”
“Me?! It isn’t like I invited him here! Dammit, Discord, calm your shit! Or I’m telling Fluttershy!” You threatened back at him.
Discord suddenly went silent. He then crossed his arms as he turned away, groaning at you. “Tattle-tale.”
“Erm, actually. King Thorax, I’m confused too. How is it Anon’s fault, exactly? I, erm, know this is a happy moment, since we saved the day and everycreature made it. But, um, well, Anon doesn’t really like you that much. S-sorry! Sorry! I didn’t know how else to put that.” Ocellus said, as she apologized profusely.
“Erm, I kinda already got that. But, well, I know he’s also trying not to be that way. But, oh! Right, right, why I’m here. Well, to put it simply, I never really got the letter about talking to the former queen. You know, the one you and your marefriend were going to send?” Thorax said as he looked over to you.
…Oh
Oh, wait a second…
“...Right, we… We never actually ended up sending that letter.” Holy… Fucking… Shit…
Is the world only alive because you forgot to send a fucking letter?!
“Erm, well, I figured something happened. I didn’t know you forgot, I thought it was something else. So, given it was Hearthwarming, I made my way towards Ponyville to try to figure out what happened to the letter. And, well, erm, I brought along a present of good will… That I sort of had to leave behind. Erm, to explain that, well… Ponyville didn’t really look like itself when I flew closer, and I was trying to figure out why, when the Chancellor came flying into me and we both hurtled towards the ground. I was able to grab him and slow my fall, but the present I had for the Queen was sort of ruined. Well, more than sort of. When I got up, I noticed the Chancellor was hurt really bad. I didn’t know what to do, but he was awake, and asked me for help, if I had any supplies with me. All I had was a very very wrapped up present box and a ruined present inside. I guess it was enough, he directed me on how to use the wrapping paper and cardboard from the box to make some makeshift medical bandages and a cast. He didn’t have time to explain anything else and asked me to fly him to the big scary castle, and he even said please. And, well, you know how strong the word ‘please’ is, so I decided to help, and flew him all the way towards this hole in the wall. So, now, um… I still have no idea what’s going on, but I’m glad everycreature is okay. So… Anycreature want to tell me what’s going on?” Thorax, the poor dope, he was as confused as anyone else.
You just blinked blankly.
It was true…
The only reason any of you were alive.
Was because you forgot to send a letter.
A fucking letter.
And so, the explanation of what had transpired was explained to Thorax by Ocellus as the rest of the group began to check on the containment units. It seems it wouldn’t be too hard to free Twilight and Chrysalis, there were consoles next to each unit with simple buttons to control the whole process of releasing or trapping whatever subject happens to be inside.
But you and Discord? You decided to hang out by the broken wall once again, looking out towards the horizon.
“So… I think it’s finally actually over. How are you feeling?” You asked him. “Not too sore about having your victory stolen, I hope.”
Discord sighed. “I thought I would be, but it seems I have more important things on my mind after all. No doubt dear Fluttershy has been freed from that horrid spell.”
“And you’re not running up to hug and check to see if she’s alright? That isn’t like you at all.” You tell him.
“She’s with friends, she’ll be fine. I just… I haven’t had the time to enjoy such a peaceful sky with, well, you, in some time now. I was worried, you know? I actually was afraid that I wouldn’t have ever freed you from her control.” Discord said as he looked down at you, smiling, yet somber in his stare. “It could have been permanent.”
You chuckled a bit at that. “Good thing it wasn’t, huh? Good job with the cards, by the way, you really pulled me out of there. But the things you said, are you sure you didn’t know it’d make them suddenly have the power to shoot a rainbow beam?”
Discord just shrugged. “I didn’t, but with the spirit of harmony seemingly being one to harass others, I figured the power of the elements wasn’t just tied to the stones. Either way, it really was up to them when it came to conjuring up the power of harmony. Just like it was up to me to fix their miserable aim.” Discord chuckled. “Alright, perhaps I am still a little sore about having my victory stolen from me. But it means little compared to knowing you and Fluttershy are alright… And everycreature too, I suppose.”
“Hm, heh, well… Thanks, Dad, for coming through. You’re the best, you know that? I feel like I haven’t said anything really nice to you lately, other than today, of course.” You tell him with a light chuckle.
“I believe the same could be said about me, as well. I’m actually quite proud. If one were to put a little thought into it, then one could say you’re the true hero! You are the one who forgot to send that letter.” Discord said to you.
Heh… “I guess. Sure, why not, I don’t think I was really gonna end up sending it anyway. You know how Chrysalis can be.”
“I do. But even better, since you’re my son, then by proxy, I saved the day! So everything works out in the end.” Discord said with a smarmy grin.
You just facehoof. “...Of course, just had to get one in, huh?”
“I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. It isn’t as if I’m wrong, either.” Discord said, still with that dumb grin.
“...You know what? Fine.” You say with another laugh. “I’ll let you have that, consider it your Hearthwarming gift.”
“Ah yes, Hearthwarming, that is today, isn’t it? Well…” Discord suddenly raises his talons, and gives them a snap. Something familiar appears before you in a bright light. It floats close to you, and opens up like a necklace, going along your neck. When the shine vanished, you saw what was around you…
“H-hey, my horn!” Woah!
“Mhmm, with ten charges now. I feel you’re responsible enough to handle it. Should be enough for you to have fun and make sure you don’t get obliterated by some insignificant threat.” Discord said.
“And can it fix my body?” You asked him, with happy glistening eyes.
“Nope, you’re still going to have to find the rest of the shards of yourself for that. But hey, you have plenty of friends to make it easier, right?” Discord said as he stood up, and began to head towards the throne room doors. “Anyway, it is time for us to see Fluttershy now. Come along.”
“Alright… You know she’s not gonna be happy about me missing parts of my body though, right?” You ask him.
“Oh, right, I forgot she may be upset.” Discord said as he slapped his forehead. He then pointed his paw at you, and zapped you, restoring your body back to its original self. “There we are, good as new.”
“Wha, huh, WHAT?! YOU COULD HAVE FIXED ME THE WHOLE TIME?!” Goddammit!
Discord just shrugged as he opened the throne room doors. “Of course I can, I merely said you couldn’t fix yourself.”
“BULLSHIT!” You yelled at him.
“I don’t think it is.” Discord said.
“IT IS!” You shouted back at him.
“You’d have to elaborate, as I just don’t know what you’re talking about.” Discord said back to you.
“DISCOOOOOOOORD!” You shouted out in total frustration.
And that was that…
The world was saved. It would be some time before Ponyville was restored. Though, it didn’t take months or anything like that. Starlight was able to actually work with Discord to use a time scroll, the one she had planned to use to ruin Equestria, to revert the town back to its original state without actually turning back time.
Chancellor Neighsay turned over a new leaf. He no longer sought the expulsion of nonpony beings, or the closure of Twilight’s school. Thanks to the young six’s unification, he began to advocate for full species diversity for any and all schools, and promoted Twilight’s school as a form of unification of all kingdoms through friendship.
The Mane Six, well, they were reunited. And as it typically goes, Pinkie held a party to celebrate the defeat of Tirek and Cozy Glow… At Chrysalis’s Manor. Well, it wasn’t like it could be held anywhere else until the actual town was restored. Chrysalis actually took it pretty well, both for the party and the fact she now had to host an entire town’s worth of ponies at her place. Then again, that may have been due to her forcing a showing of her favorite ‘documentary’ for at least the adults… Didn’t mean there weren’t casualties when it came to mental trauma.
Tempest, Grubber, and Capper decided to stick around for a while. They used the Redemption Ark to gather whatever could be found that remained intact from the twisted buildings of the town to bring back to the ponies within the manor.
Cadance returned to Shining Armor. The poor guy, he was a mess, he actually became sick from all that worrying. Cadance, Flurry Heart, and Shining Armor were actually allowed to stay in the manor until he recovered. Again, Chrysalis couldn’t help but take advantage of this fact by having Scrappy crush Cadance at chess, just to gloat for no reason but to gloat. Cadance, however, was able to ignore it. She enjoyed Scrappy’s company and she really wasn’t really that good at Chess anyway.
The Young Six, as you call them, were pretty much hailed as heroes. Discord decided not to take any credit at all when he learned he’d have to share some of it. It was either none or all with him. It was fine though, Silverstream was especially emotional, as she never thought she’d actually be considered a hero of anything.
Tirek? You’d think he’d be sent back to Tartarus as a parrot. No, actually, that’s exactly what happened. Chrysalis, of all beings, was willing to give him a chance as her new pet. But no, his pride just demanded that he just be sent back into Tartarus, with at least his original body back. He did not get his body back.
The Riches, well, it was inevitable. They had learned about the relationship you and Diamond had with Chrysalis. Surprisingly, they were actually cool with it. The fact that Chrysalis was taking care of the town was a big factor, of course. But it did help that Chrysalis and Spoiled did seem to have a lot of things in common they can talk about. And Filthy was just that cool of a guy. Anyone that makes his little filly happy, makes him happy. Though, the union of his wife and Chrysalis did seem to terrify him.
As for you? Well, it was late, but Tempest was able to find something in the twisted remains of the Rich Manor, a certain gift you and Diamond had ready for Chrysalis.
“This… This is my Hearthwarming gift?” Chrysalis asked, as she looked upon the suit that laid pristine in the gift box.
“Yeah, I know it’s late, but Tempest managed to find it. We had Rarity make it for you, and we thought you’d really love it.” You say to Chrysalis, very much hoping she would.
“Mhmm! We know how you like human mobsters. I know you can always change into a suit with your magic, but we wanted you to have something authentic and stylish! My Big Sis deserves the best!” Diamond said with a cheer.
“Is that… What it is?” Chrysalis said as she used her magic to raise the black and green lined mobster suit and stylish hat. “It’s… It’s…”
Ohhhh, here it comes!
“...It isn’t enough.” Chrysalis said as she suddenly stared at it rather boredly.
“What?” Both you and Diamond were crushed. What happened?! You both thought she would have loved it.
“I mean what I said. Mobsters don’t do the things they do on their own. I can’t just wear this as it is… I need a crew. How else am I going to flaunt my stylish new look in front of the princesses.” Chrysalis said as she flashed a grin at you.
“Ohhh! Anon! Did you hear that? we gotta totally do it! Come on, come on! We’ll be the talk of Canterlot!” Diamond said with sheer excitement.
You slap on your horn.
It was time for yet another day…
In Equestria…
“Wait!” Came a sudden yell.
The three of you look back, only to see Discord with a toy tommy gun and dressed in a snazzy brown gangster suit.
“Surely you weren’t going to wreak some havoc on the princesses without bringing me along, were you?” Discord said as he tilted his hat, giving you all a cool grin.
Diamond couldn’t become any more elated at this point. “Daddy Discord, you’re coming too! That’s super awesome!”
“Of course, nopony is better at causing chaos than me.” Discord said, tilting his hat back down, in an attempt to look even cooler.
Chrysalis just stared, annoyed, then sighed as she began to walk towards her cavernous basement. “...Alright then, just don’t louse things up.”
Woah… “You’re okay with Dad coming along?”
“If it means driving the princesses up the wall, sure. Not like we need to fear retaliation over having a little fun.” Chrysalis said with a dark chuckle.
Fuck yeah! “Alright then! Go Team Family!”
All three of them stopped their stride as they stared at you.
“Team Family? Erm, Anon, that’s kinda redundant.” Diamond explains to you. “And a little uncool.”
Yeah… You’ll work on that.
But either way. It’d be another day of chaotic fun. The four of you, together, ready to take on the world!
And even further, you knew, deep down, that a good future laid before you.
After all, with your Dadonequus as your partner, what could possibly go wrong?
Probably everything… But, eh, that’s how you roll.
