• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 46 - A New Morning

Though, as good a dream as that was, you now found yourself in some dark chamber, with a window wall leading out into space, and various controls consoles to the sides. Directly in front of you was a small set of stairs that led to a throne of some sort, but it was facing away from you and looking towards the window wall. And despite all this, you were still on your bed. Were you still asleep?

“I sensed a disturbance in the dreamscape, my young apprentice” Said a voice that came from the throne. The throne turned to face you, sitting on it was a disfigured Discord in a dark robe and red glowing eyes. What became even more ominous was some sort of space age stick he was holding, it suddenly emitted some sort of red beam sword from it’s hilt… though it looked more like a spatula.

“Star Wars? Really? You couldn’t do better than that?” You raise an eyebrow as you cross your hooves at the disfigured draconequus. “Gonna take a guess you eavesdropped on my dream, huh? I mean, not like it wasn’t a bad thing for you to do that, considering how hilarious it was.”

Discord started to nonchalantly swing his light spatula around as he leaned back on his throne. “Actually, I didn’t eavesdrop, but you do have my attention.” Discord then gave you a dark smirk “I can only guess you toughened up your backbone and pulled one over the princess of the night, that would be the only way to explain why there was such a sudden blast of magic through the realm of sleep. Well, I’m listening, my apprentice. Tell me of your hilarious, yet not as hilarious as what I did to Twilight, meeting with Princess Luna.”

You let out a soft chuckle. Man, you were going to blow him away with this one. He may have been able to pull off a better than average prank on Twilight, but you PERFECTED the human art form of blowing somepony the fuck out. “Well, hold on to your robes, my master. Because this one is gonna force push you away!”

And so you tell Discord everything that happened within the world of dreams. As you told your story, he started to smile warmly, and even chuckle at Luna’s misfortune. “...And that’s it. Guess we both got to have a grand ole time, wouldn’t you say?”

“Indeed, you have learned well, my apprentice. In fact, I’d say that was NEARLY as good as the trick I played on Twilight.” He then gives you a more intense look before he smirks “We could go for a four pair, if you know what I mean.”

You shrug, as much as you would think messing with Cadance and Celestia would make the day complete, you knew Celestia was a tad sensitive lately and that Cadance would just make your life hell by sending a letter to Twilight. Well, maybe she’d do that, she does seem to have a much lighter sense of humor than her. “Not in the cards, my master. Besides, I gotta see Diamond today, wanna talk to her about a few things.”

“Ah yes, of course, you did mention that. Alright then” Discord throws off his robes as he gets up from his throne and stands, looking battle ready as he holds up his saber. “Then it’s time for action”

“Action? W-WHA?!” You duck your head when you suddenly hear blaster fire coming from behind you. You crawl to the other side of your bed and pop your head up to see lightning clouds shooting some goopy looking shots at Discord. “Ah geez, c’mon Discord! This seems a little dangerous!”

“Hush! Concentrating…” Discord readies himself, then jumps to the other side of your bed as he starts deflecting the shots with his saber, either knocking them straight up, or hitting them back at the clouds, causing them to burst. When the last of the clouds blew up, Discord holstered his saber as he unholstered a plate and held it up, catching the blaster shots as they fell. As it turned out, as they fell, you noticed they were now fully formed pancakes, and that Discord was catching them as a stack. After his last catch, he then holds the plate towards you and smiles “Pancakes are done, here you are.”

When you raise your head, you start to put things together as you take the plate. “That was pretty cool. And let me guess, those were ‘Storm Troopers’, right?”

Discord nodded as he opened the tip of his talon, pouring a small amount of syrup onto the stack. “Yes, quite accurate, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah… except for the fact they work for the emperor. What you should have done was have a duel with a pancake pony named ‘Pancake Skywalker’, who literally would walk in the sky.” You say as you start to dig in

“Look at you, criticizing me after such a performance. Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t accurate to your silly space opera. Maybe next time I should imprison myself in a cage and tease your brain with riddles before I eat it.” Discord said, not pleased with your criticism, even hurt about it.

You let out a lighthearted chuckle, you didn’t mean to sound mean, you were just messing with him “C’mon, Discord. I was just joking… Also, that’s not how ‘Silence of the Lambs’ went either. Just relax, alright? Thanks for the breakfast, and thanks for your help, I really really appreciate it” You look up at him with a childish smile, and even wag your tail to add to your cuteness. “You are the greatest, y’know?”

Discord’s look of discontent broke into a small smile from those words as he gave you a gentle pat “I know, I’ve always known. Ahh, Anon, you are good son.” Discord snaps his talons, returning the room to your normal one. “Hmm, if we’re not going to be messing with the princesses, perhaps I can arrange a guy’s night. You’d be up for that, wouldn’t you? Conan?”

“We’ll see, that really is more your guys' thing than mine. But if things go well today, sure, why not? It’ll take some tension away from the wedding, which I’m sure I’ll hear a lot about today.”

“I’ll take that as a definite yes, I know you have the moves to continue to charm that darling filly. But just in case” Discord points at you with his talon, zapping you with a magic that puts you in a business suit akin to Mr.Rich. Your mane even slicks back. “This should help, given her new dream.”

You look at the cuffs at the end of your forelegs, then take a touch of your mane. If it’s one thing you remembered, she doesn’t seem to like your hair like this if she can help it. So, you just muddle it up a bit, then look to Discord with a nod “Heh, didn’t even ask this time. Thanks, Discord.”

“No need to thank me, consider it a small gift for getting one over our dear moon princess. Hmmm, as for me, I realize I can’t just go see Spike due to Twilight most likely still being quite sore at me. I’ll have to see Big Mac instead.” Discord lets out a light and quick laugh “Maybe I’ll go see Scootaloo right after, I’d imagine she’s probably at the clubhouse with her friends right now. Heck, since I’m going to be there at all, I might as well see if Applejack needs my help, I’m feeling right helpful this mornin’”

Ooohhh no, he’s going to far with that thought. “Just stick to the first two, you know how you get when you get too orderly, or worse, really bored.”

“Oh, right, yes!” Discord chuckled to himself “Good idea, Anon. Wow, I really did go too far with that thought, didn’t I?” Discord, with a smile, put his arms to his hips and shook his head “My my my, shame on me. I was this close to entering a series of events that would have ended in flying pigs and a huge tub of apple juice to swim in. Not a bad idea actually, apples do have a great scent! But we all know that Applejack, she’s just as uptight as a wedgie caused by a hot air balloon.”

Wha? “Wedgie caused by a hot air balloon? How does that even fit?”

Discord rolled his eyes at you “Obviously you have never felt your underwear tighten up by the force of an ever rising and very large hot air balloon. That is a perfectly valid countryism and you know it.”

Oh, it was a pun “Alright, alright, you got me. In my defense, I just woke up, not exactly quick thinking right now.”

“It’s alright, Anon, I forgive you.” Discord gently pats your head “In anycase, I’ve got some work to do. Hopefully Big Mac can ask Spike to set up a campaign for us tonight. Again, I’d do it myself, but Twilight is probably still cranky about the statue. You’d think she’d act her age and stop whining, eh?”

You laugh at that, as if! “Twilight can’t even get over a smudge on her favorite book, she’s such a kid. Also, don’t go and smudge her books. Don’t want to upset her too much, she might get so angry she’ll burst into flames and burn her castle down.”

“I didn’t know that was possible, I’ll have to remember that's a thing. Anyway, fare thee well, Conan, we will meet again at camp!” Discord said to you with a bow

“Ummm…” Eh, fine, you’ll do it. “Seeya there, Captain Wuz.” You salute to him as he disappears.

With breakfast done, you get out from bed and open your portal door to Town Hall. You do stop, and take a moment to look around. You felt that Cozy Glow might be around and ready to greet you, but it seems she wasn’t waiting around this time. A sweet filly to be sure, you wouldn’t mind having a daughter like that in all actuality. Very nice and very well behaved.

Heck, your entire walk was encounter free, for the most part. There were a few ponies who greeted you, some seeming star struck seeing you walk about, and the rest of them just being their usual friendly selves. Heh, it made you feel prideful, you are the Hero Colt after all.

When you got to the Rich Manor, you did your usual prepwork of at least brushing your mane back once and standing tall. Ok, maybe messing with your mane was pointless back in your room if you were just gonna do this anyway. Ugh, ya dingus. Whatever, you knock on the door, and wait for an answer.

It didn’t take long for the door to be opened by Filthy Rich himself, who seemed rather surprised by your presence. Surprised, but pleasantly so. “Well, good mornin’, Anon. Looking rather sharp, I see. Don’t suppose you somehow knew I was goin’ to go pick up some cider from the Apple family. Be mighty glad to have you tag along, specially after that training exam business. I’m sure them barrels are nothin’ to you now.” Mr.Rich said with a bright and optimistic smile. Hmm, it may have been awhile back, but you were sure Mr. Rich felt you still may have felt some shame over what happened before, and felt you would be able to handle the work now and pick yourself up over any lingering thoughts. Really? You were way over it by now, and you did want to help him out. But…

“I actually would love to, Mr. Rich. But I came here to see my ‘future wife’” You said with a wink.

Filthy laughed heartily at that “That’s a good one! Haha! Well, she’s with her mother at the moment. Dunno what’s going on really, she suddenly was asking to know this and that about Barnyard Bargains and the way we run things. Makes me proud n’ all, but she’s still a bit too young for the finer points of big business. Still, she’s being really eager, and I can’t say no when she’s got her mind on somethin’. Now that I think about it, it’s a shame you ain’t coming with. Would be fitting with the mares doing one thing while we stallions bond over hard work.”

“It does sound pretty fitting, but I really need to see her about something. Nothing bad, mind you, I just gotta talk to her about a few things. But I’d love to be able to do this with you some other time, maybe you could teach me more about other businesses you have your hooves in. I’m sure that’s plenty important too.” You didn’t want to hurt his feelings or anything, but you had to see Diamond, at any cost.

“Oh, well now. Ah didn’t even think of that. Hmmm, that is mighty important. Alright, I’ll make up a little ole dossier on the subject for next time. But you better take to being all kinds of serious about it, Anon. Our business ain’t no joke. I know I don’t have to tell you that, but if you really want to learn this early, then you gotta take it serious just the same.” He sounded pretty dead serious about the more he spoke on it. He seemed to even realize it as he took a moment to stop and smile once again. “Well, that ain’t anything to worry about now. You have a good day, Anon.” He steps aside to let you inside “Now go and give my daughter a hearty good mornin’.”

“Will do, Mr. Rich” What a friendly guy. Filthy Rich, probably the most honest business pony in Equestria. And a guy you hope to make proud when and if you do actually acquire the business. You don’t want to let him down.

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