• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 5,650 Views, 3,271 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 211 - The Hotel Lobby

Author's Note:

My apologies for such a short Non-Neighsay chapter. My migraines have been hitting me hard lately and my medication hasn't been helping too much with it, it has been hard to focus lately due to it, with both that and my full time job. I see the neurologist in October, so I'll have to ask about a higher dosage and such.

“Holy crap, this place looks like a dumpster fire. He’s here, really?!” Celestia had guided both you and Chrysalis through the streets of the city and into the slummier part of town. What stood before the three of you was a row of buildings, this particular hotel building looking very ragged with its busted up bricks, tilted ‘hotel’ sign, damaged windows, and creaking emergency stairs. It surprised you how Neighsay could be in such a place. “How?! Why?! Why would he be here?”

“It’s how he wanted to enjoy his vacation. He asked to stay in a place where nopony would think to look for him so he could focus on… Well, he didn’t say. But I’m sure it has something to do with his work.” Celestia said, before looking to Chrysalis with a soft yet coy grin. “Are you ready… Sister?”

“Oh, don’t you dare.” Chrysalis huffed. Or rather, Princess Luna huffed, as she crossed her forehooves and grumbled. “I can’t believe this is the least conspicuous form I could take. Sister to you? Pah, I’d rather be Twilight Sparkle.”

“Christ, Chrysalis, really? Do you really wanna try to sound like Twilight? Do you really wanna nag every pony you see about ‘what is right’?” You asked her. Truly, you felt Luna would be the better fit in this situation over Twilight. Both for her sanity, and to fool the ponies who have gathered around her car to gawk in awe and take photographs. It'd look better if 'Luna' and Celestia were together.

“Good point, but this is still a problem. Look at those fools outside, they aren't even terrified. The ponies of Canterlot were running in fear from my mighty machine.” Chrysalis said as she circled her hoof along the horn. “They didn't even run when I slammed on the horn.”

“Well, Chrysalis, this is Manehatten. In this city, many wonders from all across Equestria can be found here. From every different culture, from different walks of life. What ponies found terrifying in Canterlot, ponies here find fascinating. I think you should be proud.” Celestia said to her, like a mother to a daughter. Or perhaps sister to sister. She wanted to try to connect to her any way she could, especially with the meeting with Neighsay being so near.

“And perhaps I would be, except when I step out, they’ll think it’s Luna’s car. Ugh, I won’t even get the recognition I deserve!” Chrysalis grumbles again as she gives a little pout. “I really am sick of ponies.”

“Chrysalis, come on. Trust me, you do not want the recognition from a place like this. There’s these guys called the ‘paparazzi’ that will annoy you and follow you wherever you go, and try to get information out of you. Trust me, there was this one chick who’d show up out of nowhere and wouldn’t leave me alone. She even hired a damned ninja!” You shivered at the thought of having to properly deal with Good News again without some chaotic magic as back up.

“I know what the paparazzi are, Anon. But… Hmmm, that would be annoying, and would defeat the purpose of becoming the ‘Empress Hermit of the Everfree’.” Chrysalis said, giving the ponies outside a distasteful stare.

Wut? “Empress Hermit of the Everfree? Geez, Chrysalis, come on, that’s awful.” You shook your head as you kept yourself from giggling. “Why would you even give yourself a title like that?”

“Because I can, I did, and it’s a good title. Just my name alone is so plain.” Chrysalis stated before giving a small shrug. “And besides, I think little Diamond would love me to have that title, don’t you think?”

Gah! Dammit, using Diamond is such a low blow. “I-I mean, I guess she would. She’d probably say it has a nice ring to it or it rolls off the tongue pretty good or something like that.”

“Exactly.” Chrysalis said with a self satisfied smirk as she placed her hoof on the button that would open the hood of the car. “Now then, are we all ready to go?”

“I am. I have let go of any fears I have for this moment, because I know we can do it.” Celestia said as she took a deep calming breath.

Christ, you had to look away and roll your eyes. That was a bit too tropey and stereotypical for your tastes. “Yeah, uh, how are we going to handle the crowd though?”

“You leave that to me.” Chrysalis says as she presses the button, causing the hood to slowly pull back and open. “I can handle these fools.”

Once the hood opened, there were pictures being taken of the Luna formed Chrysalis, Celestia, and you. Just mad amounts of snapshots and ponies in awe to see the princesses and the hero colt in such a weird carriage. It didn’t take long for some of the newsponies that had gathered to congregate near Chrysalis, to question her on the vehicle, since she seemed closest to what they deemed was all the control mechanisms.

“Princess Luna?! Princess Celestia?! What is this? Is this a creation by the Hero Colt?”
“Is this a new weapon created in Canterlot?”
“Or a new luxury carriage? Where are the ponies who pull it? How does it work?”

“Ahrm” Chrysalis cleared her throat as she raised her hoof, calling for silence. “This grand carriage is called an automobile. It is a glorious vehicle in which one can drive and ride in luxury. It is also used for combat, able to destroy adversaries who, er, threaten the gentle ponies of this land. Also, this is my sister’s car and you should bother her instead.” And with that, Chrysalis quickly vacated the car as all eyes suddenly fell on Celestia.

“Wha, what?! Wait?! Huh?!” Celestia was caught by surprise as cameras and microphones were suddenly shoved in her face, as ponies tried to gauge more information out of her.

“What just happ-woooop!” You suddenly felt a tug at the scruff of your neck as Chrysalis quickly pulled you out of the car with her magic and brought you inside the hotel.

“Well, that was fun. Let… See? Hm, this place doesn’t look any better inside either, it seems.” Chrysalis was right. The place was very run down in its presentation. Wooden chairs with wobbly legs, cobwebs along the walls, the lobby smelled rather old as well… Somehow. Hell, even the front desk has warps and cracks in its wooden finish. And… Ah ha, there was the receptionist. An old yellowish pony, dull in fur color, and a white mane so floofy it covered his eyes. He seemed to not have noticed you and Chrysalis as he stayed focused on his book.

“You know Celestia is gonna be pissed you did that, right? Not that I care, but we’re supposed to be working together.” You explained to Chrysalis.

“And we are. One of us had to take the bullet, it might as well be her. Think about it, Anon, if you want this to be some sort of friendship thing, then I just saved Luna from being bothered in her sleep by stupid clout seeking ponies. If Celestia cares about her sister, then she’ll just deal with it.” Chrysalis explains, mockingly seeming insulted by your words.

“Huh, well, I guess that makes sense. Still, we can’t just leave her ou-” But your words are suddenly cut off as Celestia suddenly appears before the both of you. She then rushes towards the door and hits it with some sort of spell that keeps it from opening. “Never mind.”

Celestia was huffing and puffing as she stood in front of the door, she then began to speak as she faced away from the both of you. “Excuse me, but I thou-” But before she could finish her sentence, almost in a sing-song fashion, Chrysalis answered her predictable question.

“As I just told him, I did it for the sake of your sister. What, did you want the paparazzi to bother your sister or something? To trouble her in her time of sleep? Did you not think this all the way through before even attempting to ask such a stupid question?” Chrysalis said, hammering in her questions aggressively at Celestia.

“What?! N-no! I just-” But Chrysalis cuts her off yet again.

Chrysalis nods and then approaches the desk. “Then? Think before you speak next time, please.” Chrysalis then slams her hoof on the top of the desk to gain the receptionist's attention. “You, receptionist, we’re looking for information.”

The pony slowly lowers his book, and peers slowly at Celestia, then at Chrysalis. “Grandpa? Grandma? What are you both doing here? And out of the ground?”

Chrysalis was confused, heavily confused as she simply answered. “What?”

“Ah, ahrm, Love Suite has been getting on in the years. He has trouble with his eyesight, so you have to forgive him.” Celestia said as she slowly approached the desk and more politely addressed him. “Excuse me, Mr. Suite, but can you tell us what room a Chancellor Neighsay might be in? It’s very important.”

“The creepy vampony? Well, I guess I can tell you, Grandpa. He’s in room ‘Two oh one’. Yep, set him up in the one pony special in case he tries to bring in dumb mares for his dark ritual things. Now, I ain’t worried about you and grandma seeing as you two haven’t really had the tomato juices flowing in about thirty years or so, so your necks should be fine.” Love Suite explains as he pointed to the staircase with the slightly twisted steps. “Just head on up. And if you’re here just to get rid of him, wait until after he’s paid for the month, alright?”

“Er, yes, we’ll… Keep that in mind.” Celestia said, looking rather nervous as she beamed him an awkward smile.

“Oh, one last thing. That bear you got there, is he trained? Can’t let him go roaming around if he doesn’t know how to use the bathroom. Mauling some of my customers is fine though, some of em don’t pay. But I don’t do the doodoo, understand?” Suite explained as his head turned towards you.

Bear? BEAR?! THAT SHIT AGAIN?! WHY IS IT THAT EVERY OLD GEEZER AND BROAD SEE YOU AS A FUCKING BEAR?! “Okay, no, fuck that! Listen here buddy, how do I look like a bear?! I don’t even have the same color scheme as a bear! And I talk, full sentences, see?! Open up your eyes, bro! I’m a pony, see?! How can you see them as ponies, but me as a-AHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP!!!! AHHHH!!!” While you were ranting, a glow suddenly came from Suite’s floofy mane as you suddenly began to fly up then fall down multiple times, slamming into both the floor and the ceiling. “He’s a unicorn?! GYAH! HELP! GEEZ! AGH!”

Chrysalis rolls her eyes and looks over at Suite as she points at you. “Excuse me, but can you let my stupid talking pet bear down? He knows how to use the bathroom, and I promise he’ll be a good little bear from now on.”

“Mmmmmm, okay.” Suite says with a shrug as he lets you go while you’re in mid air, causing you to fall down with a crash. “But only because you swing a mean sword, Grandma.”

“Right…” Chrysalis said awkwardly as she picks up your crushed and bashed form from the ground with her magic and begins to walk upstairs as she carries you along. “Come along, husband of mine, we have a vampony to talk to, or slay, or whatever. I don't know, this is too weird for me.”

“Um… Alright, I… Hm. Huh... Do I look like an old stallion?” Celestia didn’t know how to feel about any of that.

"Yes, now come on already." Chrysalis barked as she slung you onto her back to carry you like a cheap sack.

Celestia felt a little self conscious about Chrysalis words, but only for a moment until she realized how silly the situation was in the first place. She then felt bad for you, and she wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction at all from Suite. But the way Chrysalis immediately saved you without hesitation before she even could. The old Chrysalis, in her mind, would have let someone like you suffer, and not even attempt to rescue you herself. Yes, she was sure now. One hundred percent, that the relationship between you and her was sound, even if Chrysalis seemed to be an ass about it.

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