• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 43 - Wedding Plans

The movie was over, and the lights in the room began to brighten up as a loud cackling boomed throughout the room.

“Gyahahaha! H-Help! I can’t! I’m going to fall over! HAHAHAHA! THAT WAS BEYOND THE BEST! HYHAHAHA!” Trixie was in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, twisting left and right in merriment from what she just witnessed “ENCORE! HAHAHA! ENCORE!”

You did have a few laughs yourself, that was really surprising to see out of Discord. No wonder Twilight was suspicious of you, that was a really out of character prank from him. Still, seeing Twilight put in her place was always worth a laugh and she didn’t come out on top throughout the whole thing, a rare thing for Discord to accomplish from start to finish. “Man, that was pretty worth it, right Starlight… Starlight?” When you look over, you could see her hooves to her mouth. Did she not like it? Or worse, did she think it was too much? “Starlight, you alright?”

She was quivering in her seat, mumbling, her eyes watering “A-Anon, I feel really bad… But I also feel like laughing, which would make me feel worse. I-I…” Oh, she was trying to hold it in.

Trixie had fallen to the floor at this point, trying to regain her composure. She was still having a few laughing fits, but not as strong as before. As for Starlight, you get the sneaky idea of just reaching over with your hoof and giving the side of her belly a little tickle, just enough to get her going. Starlight’s own composure cracks as she starts laughing “Hahaha! Nahahat fairahaha! Finehehe! It was hilarhahahaious! I-I hahahehe… mmmm…. Okhehe, I’ve never seen anything like thahat, it was pretty funny…” But unlike Trixie, she regained her composure when some guilt hit her from just enjoying the moment that much. “But she seemed to be really stressed as is. I dunno, maybe she could use some extra help, especially with that school. If she’s that stressed now, handling a whole school will cause her mane to fall out.”

“Whahait, wait… How is that a bad thing?” Trixie’s laughter stops upon hearing that, confused as to why Starlight would feel that much for Twilight. “It seemed to me like she deserved it. I mean, she accused Anon of doing that whole thing, just outright blamed him. That’s not right.”

“C’mon, Trixie, don’t be like that. We’re friends with her, remember? Besides, that is something I’d kind of expect out of Anon rather than Discord. Either way, everypony had fun, but I think Twilight could use a little extra support given how stressed she is. I’ll see about paying a visit to Ponyville when the school opens up, see if I can help out.” Starlight said, as she started to use her magic to gather her snacks into a packed floating entity.

“I dunno about that. I wanted to try to be a professor there, since I’m awesome at friendship. But the best I got from that is a week break at the start and having to survive a whole year through her school before I can actually start teaching myself. I don’t think she’s really keen on having anypony else help out, aside from her close friends.” You explain to Starlight, feeling sure Twilight would refuse her help.

She just shrugs to your words “You never know. Besides, it’s not like I need to take a teaching role. Just something that can help lift the load off the others.”

“But Starlight, if you do get a job there, or whatever… Then what about me?” Trixie’s jovial mood drops as she looks upon Starlight with glistening sad eyes “What about Trixie? I’d be alone…”

Starlight rolls her eyes, and tells her calmly “Trixie, your house is mobile… You could just bring it with you so we wouldn’t be apart.”

“...Oh.” Trixie just looked expressionless as her eyes blinked “Right… Well then... “ Trixie started to yawn, and began to stretch herself “Trixie has had a wonderful time, but she would like to go now and get some sleep.”

“Yeah, it’s probably pretty late at this point. Still, have to admit, this all was still pretty entertaining. I also got to look into whoever that Neighsay guy is, he sounds like trouble.” Starlight noted to herself as she looked down at you “Anyway, thanks Anon, and thank Discord for me when you see him.”

“I will, he probably already heard all the praise and laughter already, so he should be good. C’mon, I’ll take you girls to the portal door.”

With that, you lead both mares back to your room… Almost. It actually took nearly ten minutes to get Trixie used to the idea of using the gravity stairs, something even then, she had no grasp on. Starlight had to use her magic to hoist her up to your room. Something she deemed as “unnecessary” as she arrogantly felt the next try would have been successful. After that however, you said goodbye to the two mares, and promised to see them soon. Ugh, but in the back of your mind, you knew Starlight getting involved might be trouble. Should you have mentioned that you knew Neighsay? Nah, probably not a great idea.

“Wonderful performance, wouldn’t you agree?” You hear Discord’s voice from behind. When you turn around, you see him with a small golden award of himself as he sat at a director’s chair, proud of himself. “It got me a bedlam award! For best picture, of course.”

You chuckled at him “Gotta admit, it was top notch. Good work, Discord.”

“Well, masterful work really. And it’s all thanks to you, the style of prank was directly based off something you would have done had you been more inclined to pull off a dastardly deed or two.” Discord tells you as he starts to shove the statue up his nose “There we go, nice and safe.”

“So that’s why it was so gross. I thought it may have had something to do with that, just the same, it was pretty damn funny. But you’ll probably have to lay off Twilight for awhile, if only not to overdo it.” You caution him as you jump onto your bed and roll about a little.

“Oh trust me, I had my thirst for fun quenched with that one, should keep me going for awhile. Ah, but Anon, on to business. Your wedding is approaching soon and…” Discord stands up, and shoots fireworks from the tips of his paws and talons “We need to make sure your big scene is magical! So here’s what I’m thinking.” Discord starts to lead the lights generated by the explosion on like an artist, forming shapes and scenes to illustrate his words “Everything needs to be less than perfect, so town hall is the perfect venue. However, as I have been informed by Mr. Rich himself, it still needs to play out like a real wedding anyway. Now, Mrs. Rich is dealing with the more boring visual details of the wedding while I handle well… You.”

Wut? “Me? Why just me?”

“Because you’re ridiculous to manage, so it takes one just as ridiculous to actually handle you.” Discord retorts.

“Hey! I just complimented you, let’s not get mean here. Especially since I haven’t been trapped in stone yet for being so ‘ridiculous’.” You say, feeling a little miffed at his attitude.

“Hmph, that’s because you’ve never tried the role of villain yet.” Discord shrugs “You couldn’t even handle the villain you tried to reform.”

You begin to grumble, feeling a tad hurt from those words “Yeah, well, mngh… You didn’t have to be mean like that…”

“Hmm…” Discord moves up over you, and starts to gently pet you upon your head “ I apologize, things just slip sometimes… All the time. But I am being serious, I want this to be a happy time for you, and… For Fluttershy as well, which is why we need a team.” Discord snaps his talons, the lights from the fireworks forge the likeness of three beings: Discord, Scootaloo, and Starlight Glimmer. “And that’s the team. With the three of us at your back, you simply can’t fail.”

Wait, wut? “Scootaloo and Starlight? Why them? Why a team exactly? I think I can handle a wedding.”

“Perhaps you can, but I want to guarantee everything works out for you. Now, pay attention. For me, I’ll have to do an emergency retrieval and fetch Fluttershy. Trivial, but I’ve already guessed she won’t be here in time unless I intervene. Then there’s the gift you plan to give to Diamond. You do have one, don’t you?” He asks you.

“Uhm… I could just get her a diamond ring, right?” You just blurt out, as if muscle memory to how weddings work.

“Excellent idea… except” Discord holds up his talons as they fall apart, one by one “Where are you going to put it?”

Right, ugh… you felt pretty dumb about that one. “Ok, ok, I get it. But what do you get a girl that can afford anything she wants? I mean, I’m kind of the perfect gift now that I think about it.” You grin arrogantly to yourself as you say those words.

“Cute, but a traditional pony wedding requires a gift of some sort. I’d say a rainbow gem would be perfect, given how incredibly rare they are. But then again, we’re going for less than perfect, aren’t we?” Discord says with his own slippery grin.

“So what do you suggest? And don’t you think I should get this gift myself? It’d make it more meaningful, I think”

Discord shrugs at you “True, it would, but it’s not uncommon for those getting married to have help from their friends. Remember, this whole world thrives on harmony and balance and all that nonsense, so what I’d suggest is taking said help, and taking this.” Discord holds out his paw to you, in it was a golden heart locket “Simple, easy to keep track of, and the pictures inside are…”

You take the locket and open it up. What you see makes you smile, as one part has a picture of Diamond, and the other had you. Both of you looking at each other as if you had been in love for years. Considering these pictures must have been fabricated in some way, it should surprise Diamond enough for her to really like it. Still, shouldn’t you really get a gift yourself? Thinking about it… Nah, god only knows you might fall into the trope where she hates it and she shatters all your hopes. You doubt she’d actually do that, but you never know. What you did know though, that if a real wedding happened, you’d need to make sure the gift was meaningful and well earned. “Of me and her… Alright, since this wedding doesn’t matter, then this will work perfectly. But when and if I really get married, I’m going after that rainbow gem myself.”

Discord shrugged, bearing a cruel smirk “Your funeral. Anyway, moving on, let’s talk about little Scootaloo and her duty.” The little bright Scootaloo light starts to circle around, yipping “She’s technically going to be your ‘best stallion’, unless you have any objections. I’m open to suggestions”

Damn, you did need a best man, didn’t you? But Scootaloo is a girl, and… Ugh, who else did you really have other than Spike that was male? Fuck man, you really didn’t have anyone close to you as a partner other than Discord and Scootaloo. “Alright, she’ll work. Wasn’t aware how close things were to human weddings, but she’ll work. But then, why Starlight?”

“She’s responsible! Admittingly more responsible than I am. She’ll be able to make sure you’re prepared, well groomed, presentable, and on time. She’ll bring you to town hall, Scootaloo will wait for you to acquire the locket, and Fluttershy and I will be in the gallery with such hopeful eyes.” Discord says, batting his eyes as the lights in the air disappear.

Wow, he really did care. He was more prepared for this than you were. You get up, and carefully put the locket in one of the drawers of your dresser. “I’m sure Fluttershy is gonna be really happy about all this. Discord, do you really care about this? About everything going orderly, despite your own nature?” You look to him with soft eyes “Do you really care about my happiness.”

Discord groans at you “Ugh, I should have just left it alone. I can’t even do something nice without you asking such an inane question.”

“And yet you’re not skipping out on me this time to avoid the question, nor are you making me owe it to you as a favor. So, I’ll take that as a yes.” Heh, what a guy.

“You said it, not me. Hmmm… Yeah…. Hmm…” Discord just started mumbling, crossing his arms as he looked about. “Anon, we’re still partners, right? If there was some mischief to be had that we could do together, or perhaps a scheme to make Fluttershy happy… You’d be with me all the way, right?”

“Before I answer that, would you say that you care about me as much as Fluttershy? Considering all you’ve done for me, you can’t really say no to that, but you have the option to.” You felt so smug there, so cocky, you knew that unless he wanted to seem like an ultimate asshole, that’d he budge, if at least by a little.

Discord, surprisingly, didn’t hesitate or deflect. Instead, he waggles his talon at you as he smiled more warmly. “We’ve done this song and dance before. You know how I feel. You, me, Fluttershy, we’re family. If anything ever happened to you, or to Fluttershy… Well, let’s not ponder on that. You are important to me, that is a fact. I care about you, and see you as a partner, but you’re also a plaything should I so choose. It’s complicated, but I’m sure you understand by now.”

“I do, gotta take the good with the bad when it comes to you. Still, thanks for the help, and thanks for the show, Starlight really appreciated it too. Seeya tomorrow, and have a good night” You say as you hop back into bed, and snuggle into your warm blanket. Heh, now that you put more thought into it, Trixie was right, this is really nice feeling.

“You as well. And be prepared, Anon, you have a filly to please in a couple of days.” Discord flashes away as you already begin to drift off.

Then again, when you open your eyes, you find yourself in a night sky sort of void.

OH COME ON! WHAT DID SHE WANT NOW?!

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