• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 26 - Spoiled's Worry And Some Creepy Horse

With that out of the way, the realization that Mrs. Rich might be in a tough spot started to fill your head. You look towards Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, who were still lingering within the moments of Twilight’s untimely entrance. “Yo, I gotta go. Need to make sure Mrs. Rich is ok.”

“W-woah, what?!” Rainbow Dash said in surprised confusion “But what about the ceremony? And what about the thing that just happened now? You seemed pretty tense, Anon. You may want to chillax and do that after we’re done here.”

“Yeah, Anon. You got pretty serious with Twilight. Don’t you wanna cool off a bit first?” Scootaloo suggested, worried about your mental state. Fearing you might do something you might not want to do due to frustration.

The truth is, you already felt pretty ok. Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash having your back on this one really did wonders for your mood, even with Twilight’s persistence. “I’m fine, trust me. I just wanna make sure everything is ok, that’s all. As for the ceremony…” You reach into your saddle bag and get your trusty horn. You place it on your forehead, and immediately use the spell you had in mind. “I got a guy who can handle that.”

Your horn lets out a small pop as you begin to glow. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo just look on as a copy form of you separated from your main body, then starts to look around rather dumbly.

“Woah, there’s two Anons now!” Scootaloo said in surprise “I didn’t even know you could do that!”

“Yep, I can. And this guy is gonna fill my place while I go see Mrs. Rich. That’s alright with you, right Rainbow Dash?” You ask

Rainbow Dash slowly approaches your clone, and pokes it nose, eliciting a small giggle from it. “I guess” She looks at it inquisitively “I dunno for sure though, he seems kind of dumb.”

“He is. He’ll do whatever you tell him and is smart enough to answer questions and talk at a third grade level. He’ll disappear after the ceremony, so don’t worry about him getting into trouble.” You explained, feeling some pride about creating an idiot-proof idiot.

“Anything we tell him? Hrn…” Scootaloo looks to your clone with curiosity, then gives him a big smile. “Anon, say ‘Rainbow Dash is awesome!’ “

“Rainbow Dash is awesome!” Your clone says with a dopey smile on his face.

“That’s so cool! Hey, Rainbow Dash, why don’t you give it a shot?” Scootaloo asks her, feeling anticipation and a few giggles well up inside her as she awaits to see what Rainbow Dash has planned.

“Alright, heh, let’s see.” Rainbow Dash rubs her chin with her hoof as she looks to your dumb looking clone with intrigue. “I want you to try balancing on one hoof while solving, erm, a real hard math problem. Something Twilight would think of.”

And just like that, your clone starts standing on its right hindleg as it does it’s best to think of something. “Errr, uhhh… Ngh!” The clone suddenly starts screaming erratically as it fails to think of something. “FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCK FUCK!” It screams as it continues to balance itself “I CAN’T THINK BEYOND THREE PLUS EIGHT! I THINK PI IS A DELICIOUS TREAT, GODDAMMIT! THIS HURTS SO MUCH! PLEASE, ANYPONY, JUST SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD OR AT LEAST SUCK MY DICK UNTIL I ORGASM TO DEATH!”

Scootaloo covered her ears as your clone screamed it’s nonsense from within the lobby “S-sheesh! Rainbow Dash! I-I think you broke him! W-what is he even saying?!”

Rainbow Dash understood some of its lingo, and found it rather appalling. “Nothing you need to listen to, Squirt.” Rainbow Dash rushes over to Scootaloo and helps cover her ears with her wings as she looks at you with a surprised and mean look “Anon! What is with him?! The things he’s saying are things a filly like Scootaloo should totally not be hearing right now.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you get heavily annoyed at the entire situation “That’s not my fault. I told you he was dumb! Why did you give him something difficult like that?! That’s totally on you, Rainbow Dash!”

“I just wanted to see if he could do it! I didn’t know he’d be spewing all those bad words! I mean… Hey… “ Rainbow Dash suddenly gets an evil grin as she gets a devious idea “Man, Applejack would go nuts if we set a couple of these Anons outside her window.”

Ha! That’d actually be pretty… Oh wait, but it’d spell trouble for you though. “Maybe for you, but I’d rather not want to deal with the wrath of an apple farmer.” You walk over to your screaming clone and smack at the back of the head “Shut up already!”

And just like that, the clone falls on all four of his hooves, and shuts his fucking trap as if he was just summoned, just looking around blankly.

Scootaloo noticed the Anon sitting there, and asked "Is everything ok now? Can I uncover my ears?"

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash slowly uncovers Scootaloo’s ears as she stares at your clone with caution “He gonna be quiet?”

You nod “Until you give him another command. Just keep things simple with him, alright? I really wouldn’t want to have to zap him away early in front of a crowd.”

“I’ll try.” Rainbow Dash closely inspects your clone once again as it stands there “Now that I think about it, kind of reminds me of Pinkie’s clones.”

“Oh, you mean when she used that mirroring pool? I remember that…” Scootaloo suddenly shivered in dismay “I kinda don’t want to remember that. All those Pinkies were terrible and annoying. They weren’t as cool as the real Pinkie at all.”

“I may have not been there for that, but I heard the stories. Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyway, just keep things simple with him and everything should be ok. I really gotta go and I don’t want to waste any more time, alright?” Really, the more time you waste, the more something could happen to Mrs. Rich. Hell, for all you knew, Twilight 180’d and went to talk to her anyway. Oh boy, if she did, you may very well use your second charge on her.

“Yeah, yeah, keep it simple, got it! We’ll be careful.” Rainbow Dash tells you, feeling a little insulted that you didn’t seem to trust her.

“Yeah, Anon! You can count on us to not mess up with… Erm… You…” Scootaloo let’s out a cheerful giggle, then salutes to you “Anyway, you can count on us! So, good luck, Anon! I’ll be rooting for you.” But then Scootaloo stopped you immediately after her words to ask one last thing. “Oh, Anon, wait! One last thing!”

Hmmm? “Yeah?”

“What does ‘Fuck’ mean?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head in curiousness.

Aye geez, not again. And unlike with Starlight, you felt messing with Scootaloo about it would end badly for you. “It’s probably nothing. Remember, that clone is kinda dumb, probably just made it up.”

“Really?” Scootaloo said as she pondered, tapping at her chin “Coulda sworn I heard it before.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOPE! Before she even had a chance to question you further, you make your way out, speaking quickly as you do “Nope! You haven’t! Thanks guys, I’ll see you both later, for real! Gone now, bye!”

And with that, you left the lobby through the front entrance, and asked the guards where along the outside of the circular colosseum might the rich pony’s entrance be. They don’t dismiss you, and actually turn out to be rather helpful as they point along the clockwise direction of the Colosseum, saying it’s a bit of a walk, but less than halfway if you take this path along the outer side of the Colosseum's wall. With that, you thank them, and trot towards the V.I.P entrance.

You had to make sure you stayed focused when you meet up with Spoiled. Stay strong, keep on course, assess the situation, and don’t make her or yourself look the fool. If you had to, you could dazzle the crowd of noble ponies with a spell from the horn, you did still have one charge left.

When you neared the V.I.P entrance, marked with a golden archway, you could see Spoiled looking back towards it, then marching towards the lobby you just left. Due to your paths crossing, it didn’t take you both long to notice each other. What caught you as odd though was the fact she was by herself, without husband or rich assholes following her. Well, whatever it was that caused this, you were about to find out about it. “Mrs. Rich? Hey, how are you?” A weak start, but you’d be able to gauge the situation from how she answers.

But as she silently approached, her pace quickening as she did, you noticed her mane was a little less kept than usual, and her make-up was running down her cheek. She looked rather miserable actually. Did something happen? “Mrs. Rich? A-are you NGH!” You are stopped when she grabs onto you, and hugs you tightly.

“Anon, you imbecile!” She said with a fearful whine “Idiot! W-what are you doing walking around like this? You should be in a hospital!”

Ok, odd first words to come out of her after just meeting up with her. She was hugging you onto her chest, so you had to scootch your face up, still calm as you do, and ask “Erm, why? I’m alright, Mrs. Rich. Are you alright?” She clearly wasn’t, and it was already evident why.

“You’re alright? You’re alright?!” She says with a frustrated chuckle as she begins to gently brush her hoof onto your head “Maybe I’m the idiot then, considering what you had to go through to survive.” She let you go, and sat down as she began to sob “Endangering your life just to be the best. I-I didn’t know that was going to happen. How was I supposed to know?! I only wanted there to be enough danger to impress those fools, and all I ended up doing was nearly…” She looks back at you, and becomes reluctant.

Holy shit, she was a fucking wreck! You didn’t even know what was fully going on. Did her plan work? Where was Filthy? Is she even ok? Her words were not painting a full picture for you. “W-woah, hold on Mrs. Rich! A-are you alright? Did everything work out ok?”

She let out a bit of an insane chuckle as she grabbed onto you again and looked into the bright blue sky. “All that, and he’s asking if I’m ok! Oh my Celestia, my little Diamond truly has a good one, even if he’s an idiot at times.” She says out loud, but given her less than sane mood, you didn’t take it personally “Anon…” She stops, and finally looks you in the eye, lucidity in her expression. “I don’t know if you knew, but what happened with the dragon exploding was not planned. It was an accident… It was…” She looks down, visible shame on her face “It was my own foolish pride. That dragon nearly incinerated you and your friend. And for what? Social status?!...” She stops for a moment as she turns to the side “Ok, that is rather important. But…” She sighs, and looks back at you with tear filled eyes. “So are you. You are my future son-in-law, after all…” Then she lets out a more calm laugh as she did her best to relax “And even after nearly losing your life, you want to know if everything went alright with me.”

You shrug, and give her a hopeful smile. “Well, yeah, I gave you my word I’d do my best. Scootaloo is ok, I’m ok, and everything else is going as planned. But…” She seemed to have learned her lesson, but you also felt she might shirk off some of what she may have learned as a pure accident. You felt you had to cement her lamentable feelings. “Can we maybe never do something like that again? That was really scary.” You say as worried and adorably as possible.

“O-of course… And… “ She gulps, feeling maybe she was overdoing her own plans. She wanted you close to her side for awhile just to know you’re alright, for her own sake. But there was that part of her that wanted to show you off personally to the aristocratic company she kept. “Perhaps after the ceremony, you could join me for a little while? Hmmm… how to put this…” She didn’t want to sound to forceful.

But you got it, and you give her a smirk “Wanna show me off and prove how much better we are in every facet of life? Sure! I’ll even join in right now. Created a temporary clone to fill in for me anyway” You could at least give her this.

“A temporary clone?” It looked like it took her a moment to get it, but once she did, she made a cocky little smirk of her own. “Anon, I really am surprised. Any other colt your age would have just wanted to go home. But you? You truly are a colt of your word. Hmmm…” She suddenly gives a more warming and maternal smile as she gives you a gentle hug. “Thank you…”

“Such a sight to see. Despite your kinship being years off, you both already demonstrate what familial ties are truly about.” Said a voice from the side.

You and Spoiled break off your hug to see…


Some pedo pony Dracula looking motherfucker in a purple, high collar, cloak and a red sash with some sort of badge. His mane was black and slicked back smooth, and his coat white. He also has a small beard. Who the fuck was this guy?!

“Chancellor Neighsay! Uhm… Hrm.” Spoiled suddenly straightens up and wipes the mussed up make-up from her cheeks. “Ahrm, I didn’t see you there. I wasn’t aware you had vacated your seat, are you alright?”

Chancellor Neighsay?

“Indeed I am. I apologize for my sudden appearance, I didn’t mean to cause any harm. I just wanted to comment on what I had walked into, two ponies showing care for one another. Something you wouldn’t truly see in any other creature, unfortunately.” Neighsay then stops and looks towards you as he continues to speak to Spoiled. “As for why I left my seat, it was to meet with the Hero Colt Anon himself. I am very impressed with what I’ve seen today, as I have been impressed with what I have heard about him. I suppose you can say he intrigues me greatly.”

This guy irked you. Meet you? You intrigue him? Was he gonna lure you into his van or rape you or something? Who the fuck is he? He unsettled you so much.

Spoiled suddenly whispers to you “Anon, please, be courteous with him. He wasn’t one of the ones I meant to crush. He’s a very important stallion, that’s all you need to know.” She then looks to Neighsay and gives him an awkward smile “Chancellor, I wasn’t aware you were that interested in Anon. But I am truly honored you have taken interest in my future son and, I’d assume, my daughter as well.”

Wut?! Was Spoiled selling you and Diamond to this obvious pedophile?!

“I’m very interested in Anon. And depending on our meeting, your daughter as well. My recommendations are highly sought after afterall, but I’m sure you knew that. However, since I am here, I also feel a meeting with… Ahrm… “ Suddenly, there was disgust in his voice “Princess Twilight is required. So…” He then looks to you “Anon, I hope you won’t find it rude that I have to make you wait, but duty calls. Would you mind meeting with me tonight? At a place of your choosing?”

Rude? Make you wait? This presumptuous creepy ass fuck! You didn’t even say anything and he already fucking assumes you’ll meet with him? And goddammit, if Spoiled’s reaction is anything to go by, saying no might fuck things up. Ugh, the things you have to do for the ones you care about… “Erm, sure… How about at the fountain by city hall.”

“Perfect! Oh, and I’d rather it just be us. True, it may seem off that I don’t want your…” Again, there is disgust in his voice “Father…” And then he speaks respectfully again “There, but what I have to say is very important and for your ears only. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”

Oh god, you really were too cute! It was only a matter of time before the pedo rapist ponies came after your ass. “S-sure…” If he tries anything on you, you’ll fucking twist his goddamn neck. Though, if he’s a vampire pedo Dracula, you may be screwed as he's already undead. He wasn't burning in the sunlight, but stronger vampires, like this guy possibly is, aren't really affected by the sun.

“Splendid! Now then, I must make my leave. It was truly a pleasure, Mrs. Rich, a pleasure indeed.” He says as he walks off towards Twilight’s castle.

What in the…

“Who was that guy?” You ask Spoiled.

Spoiled just watches him walk off, feeling a small chill down her spine from that meeting. “Chancellor Neighsay of the EEA. The head of the EEA to be exact.”

EEA? “What’s the EEA?”

“Equestria Education Association. They are the highest authority on academics in the land. Even Celestia’s school needed their accreditation before it could truly be erected. Chancellor Neighsay himself is also a very hard pony to please, so him having any interest in your training exam caught me off guard. I had to invite him for this event, if only to try to earn his favor. Having him as a friend works wonders if you are trying to get your foal in a highly sought after school. And it seems I may, in fact, have his friendship. Anon, please, whatever goes on in that meeting? please PLEASE be as courteous and well mannered as possible, alright? This is too good of a chance to be squandered. If you can do this for me. I’ll… mmnnn.” Spoiled sighs “I will think more highly of your father, and not think of him as a gigantic reprobate.”

You felt gross just thinking of this meeting. The guy definitely seemed evil in some way. As for Spoiled’s deal... “It’s fine, I know you don’t really like my dad, so I won’t force you to be nice to him. I’ll still be a gentlecolt towards Neighsay. The only thing I want to ask though…” and make sure she understands “Is, erm, you’re never gonna do anything this crazy again, right? The whole Colosseum and dragon thing? or anything close to it, right? I-I’d like a promise, if you don’t mind.”

Spoiled expression became serious as she gave you a nod “You have my word. I’ll just have to lord over those worms in some other fashion. For now, shall we go?”

You nod, hopefully getting a chance to be an arrogant ass to a bunch of rich fucks will calm you down. “Sure, after you, Mrs. Rich.”

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