• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 99 - Anon Vs. The Storm Ravager

“How?! How did you manage to separate from the X-Captain?!” And how the fuck did he get that body?!

The Storm Ravager just shrugs with a smirk on his face “Honestly? I don’t know about that either, but just like last time, it’s made me new and improved!” He says as he hops and flexes. “Oh yeah! I’m unstoppable this time!” He then turns to you and waggles his finger “That’s not to say I’m not unlovable. Totally am, even if I have to shove it down everyone's throats. But hey, let’s not waste time on the small details.” He then points to you and then down to the ground “Time to go down, Kid. I’m going to bury you right here, no funeral, no casket, but definitely an afterparty.”

There’s no way, no fucking way. Well, you had to accept it, because he found a way, and you had no help to fight him this time. But wait, why did you need help? The only reason you lost the first time was because Twilight wanted you to seal him up, a spell he somehow saw and stopped easily. This time, all you had to do was overpower him. Sure he looked bigger and badder, but there’s no way that arm is as powerful as the staff when it had the princesses magic in it. “You’re right, there will be. Should have just stayed where you were, Drizzle Lips, because I’m not going to show you any mercy this time. You’re going down!”

“Am I? HAHAHA!” The Storm Ravager cackled as he slapped his knee “Oh no! He actually believes what he’s spouting! That’s too much!” The Storm Ravager stands proud as he puts his hands to his hips, resting his head on his right shoulder “It’s too adorable! But newsflash, Kid, you’re a sham! You’re no ‘Hero Colt’, You’re not even a great one!”

“What are you talking about?” You ask him, confused as to what he meant.

“What do you mean?! Sheesh, Kid, sheesh! You didn’t beat me! You never did! This kid, you just can’t make this stuff up!” The Storm Ravager starts laughing, using his hand to keep steady before looking back at you with a smirk. “Time for a refresher course, so listen up! The first time we fought, I literally dropped the roof on you, then tossed you around like a rag doll. Then I used you as actual bait to lure in those brainless ponies. And then, credit where credit is due, you hurt my palm… And that’s it! I was about to crush you like a melon before Tempest just showed up out of nowhere. Oh, and don’t worry about her, I plan to make her a permanent addition to my future garden. Trust me, it’ll look great!”

This fucking DOUCHEBAG. Fine, so you didn’t beat him, that wasn’t what was important right now. What was important was that you stop him here and now, you just had to! “God, just shut the fuck up already. Fine, I get it, I didn’t actually beat you. You could have said it in two sentences.”

“C’mon, I gotta sell it, y’know? Being a terrifying dictator requires this kind of charisma that you’ll just never understand. And besid- Hm? Ahhhh” The Storm Ravager bares his teeth in an evil smirk as he scratches his cheek with his hand. “Oh boy, you ACTUALLY think you stand a chance! That is more than adorable! Kid, I’m invincible now! You should just roll over and let me end it quick for you. But fine, I’m game.” He says with a shrug. “That horn of yours fully charged?”

You narrow your eyes at him as you slap the horn on your head. “You bet.”

“Ok then, let’s make a deal that you really can’t refuse. I’ll give you your two shots to beat me, since that’s all you got. If you beat me? Well, I’ll certainly be surprised. If you don’t? Well, how are you supposed to defend yourself from this baby?” The Storm Ravager holds up his mutated claw, and let’s it sparkle in horrible electric energy.

Two? You had more than… OHHH SHIT! HE DIDN’T FUCKING REALIZE YOU HAD MORE THAN TWO CHARGES?! HAHA! HE REALLY DIDN’T! Ok, well, the odds just shot up through the roof for you. But why should you resort to that? You could end him in one blow with this powerful attack. “As if I’d refuse a deal like that. You’re on, just don’t go crying when I turn you to sludge.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it.” The Storm Ravager beckons you with a claw, awaiting your attack. “Show me what you got.”

“Alright then, your funeral.” Ok, first shot had to be a game changer. Wait, so why not start with a game ender? You hop backwards as your mane changes into a blue color, spiking upwards as your eyes become a darker blue themselves. “YOU FOOL! THIS IS YOUR END!” You begin to crackle in powerful electrical force as a spirit version of you appears out of nowhere and slams into you, causing your voice to double as your determined look became more fierce. “FINALLLLL” Your horn started to charge up some blue energy ball as a powerful blue aura appeared around you. “KAM-E” You start floating in mid air as your attack intensifies “HA-!”

The Storm Ravager just yawns, getting bored of waiting for your attack. “While we’re young? C’mon, I got a world to terrorize here.”

Oh, he wasn’t gonna be anything after this. “-MEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA!” With almighty Saiyan power, you release a gigantic blue beam, encircled by a yellow spiral of death, towards the Storm Ravager. It was so large in size and dense in power that he actually gasped and jumped back, but was unable to dodge it. Did you manage it?!

You kept the beam going as long as you are able, but it seemed power of this magnitude was actually taking a toll on your body. But you did it, right?

But then your eyes go wide as you look ahead. The beam was mushrooming at the end, as if there was something in the way of it, breaking its flow. There was no way, WAS HE BLOCKING IT?! Your beam finally ends after another moment, the recoil of the end of the blast knocking you backwards as your second self goes out of your body and into the air, out of sight. You quickly roll over and stand as you yourself change back to normal, and try to look through the kicked up dust cloud your beam had caused.

“Wow! That was awesome! My arm is stinging, Kid! It actually hurts!” The Storm Ravager calls out jovially as he makes a mighty gust with a flap of his wings, blowing the dust away. He was ok?! Shit, the only damage you seemed to do to him was to his mutant arm. It was slightly burnt, parts of his claws looked barely chipped away, and only two tendrils seemed to stop moving. He blocked that entire blast with that hand and it barely did fucking anything! “...But even the audience knew that wasn’t gonna do anything. Ha! Good try though, that would have done it if you had used that against me the first time. Buuuuuut you can’t expect anything out of idiots, can you?” The Storm Ravager has a bit of a laugh about it before beckoning at you again. “Ok, short stuff, time for another round.”

You had more than another in you, but you had to make this work before he actually started to fight. What else could you use against him? OH RIGHT! SPINNING BUZZSAWS OF DOOM! If you couldn’t blast the fucker, then you’d slice him up. It’s not like he could dodge EVERY buzzsaw you planned to throw at him. “Fine then, TAKE THIS!” You launch a flurry of buzzsaws at him, all spiraling and screwballing towards him.

The Storm Ravager was using his chaotic eye to eye the paths of each buzzsaw. Once he had every trajectory, he used his newfound speed to dash towards each point they would be coming from and caught them all in his mutant arm before crushing them to nothingness. “Kid, your strats are as dull as those blades. And hey hey, they’re as dull as your horn too, right? That’s all she wrote. But hey, don’t worry, I’ll make sure they’ll make an action figure out of you. As in they’ll actually use pieces of you to make the thing.” The Storm Ravager positions himself for a dash, eyeing you directly. “But time’s a wastin’ and I really want to see the looks on all those ponies faces when I step up to rule em all… Or whatever is left after I do some remodeling. HAHA! HERE I COME!” And he finally blasts off towards you.

Shit! He was fast, but you didn’t need to dodge or get out of the way. You wait a half moment, then quickly summon a giant hammer to smash him straight into the ground in front of you. And fuck, it worked! When you lifted the hammer, he was half buried in the ground and looking rather dazed and surprised. “HA! Looks like I smashed your plan to bits!”

“Wha? Ugh, huh? WHAT?!” The Storm Ravager looked up at you, surprised and stupefied at the predicament he found himself in. “You still have magic?!”

“Fuck yes! How does it feel to be bamboozled? Hmmmmm?” You said smugly, looking at him with a wicked smile. “You never really stood a chance. Dad gave me a whole three days of unlimited magic. Lucky you, eh?”

“Grrrr” The Storm Ravager growled as he tried to loosen his arms. “I’m not losing to you, Kid! You think you got me fooled?! I’m gonna smash you to bits, I SWEAR!”

“Huh, you don’t really talk the talk when you’re losing, do ya?” You shrug, and prepare the hammer once again. “Oh well, get ready for a real pounding, HAHAHA! Get it? Because I’m gonna keep smashing you until you stop moving. HERE WE GO!” You immediately start smashing the hammer into him, over and over and over and over again in quick succession. You were smirking almost evilly as it went on, up until you finally felt he was smashed to a pulp. You then banish the hammer and look upon the spot it was smashing. Nothing was there, huh, did you crush him into the dirt? “Oops, over did it.”

“Not exactly.” You hear a voice. You look around, but see nothing, at least not around you. From under you, you are grabbed by the Storm Ravager’s mutant hand as he launches up from beneath the ground. “HA! Gotcha!” The Storm Ravager calls out as he lands back onto the ground and starts squeezing you with his hand as if you were some sort of chew toy. “Kid! You got RUSED! What, did you think you were the only one who could pull a fast one? Come on, just, come on! I’ve dealt with rats more crafty than you.” He then starts to look you over, laughing at you. “Time for a real SHOCKER, as in, I’m about to light up your life until it blows a fuse. See what I did there? You saw that… Right? Wait…” The Storm Ravager narrows his eyes at you, noticing you were glowing a chaotic power of your own. As in, your entire body was made of magic, almost as if it was… “Wait… You’re not…”

Indeed, the ‘you’ he had in his grasp was the clone you used to perform the fusion needed for Final Kamehameha. The Storm King look dumbfounded, looking at his palm in frustration as he realized he somehow got duped. He crushes the clone, and then starts to look around for you. “Now that’s just dumb! Seriously, that just makes the game more tedious. Now, where did you go? Kid, OOHHH KIIIIDDD, WHHHERE ARE YOOOOUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As The Storm Ravager began calling out for you, he turned around only to see a train coming right towards and into him, a massive mighty train bearing your face. He was slammed into rather hard as he held on to the front, screaming along as the train chugged forward.

“CHOO CHOO, MOTHERFUCKER, CHOO FUCKING CHOO!” You laugh as you pull on the rope that sounded the train whistle. You were dressed as a cute little conductor, driving your huge fucking train. You looked out the window and towards the front of the train and saw the Storm Ravager doing his best to climb up onto the smoke stack. “Heyyyyyyy buddy! Enjoying the ride?”

The Storm Ravager couldn’t even get his wings to properly open at this speed, he just clinged for dear life as he began to aim his arm towards you. “I’m gonna obliterate you, Kid! It’s the end of the line for you!”

“Couldn’t agree more!” You wave goodbye to him and jump off the train.

“Wha?... Oh no, he used a pun, didn’t he?” The Storm Ravager looks back slowly and sees a gigantic brick wall set not too far ahead. “Oh… Yeah, he did.” The Storm Ravager braces himself as the Train smashes into the wall and explodes.

“Woooo, and that ends that. A rattataa ratattaaaaa woo woo, yeah!” You start to sing to yourself and hop about victoriously as the explosion carries on. However, caught up in your silly little dance, you fail to notice the Storm Ravager falling down above you.

Indeed, he locked eyes on you as he began to fall from a perilous height. His body was charred, his wings broken, and his rage heightened as he held his arm out to grab you upon impact. “GYAAAAH!” He screams out as he finally makes contact, smashing you to the ground as he manages to land without issue. “HOW DARE YOU! I’M NOT MESSING AROUND ANYMORE! THAT’S IT! I’M GONNA BREAK YOU!” He growls as he lifts you up in the air, and begins to shock you with his power.

Fuck, this hurts! You were screaming in pain as he sent electrical shocks into you, doing his best to end you as quickly as possible. That is… Until an idea popped into his head.

“No… Nah, after what you did to me, after what you and Tempest took away?” The Storm Ravager stops his electrical torture and just grips onto you as he begins to slowly and evilly snicker, enjoying your now limp body as a sign of victory. “Yeah, no, ending you now wouldn’t be good for me, now would it? Oh no no no no, you made me the butt of all jokes after all, I can’t just let this end without a good punchline. Do you know what I mean, Kid?” The Storm Ravager held you up higher, waiting for you to answer.

“N-ngh…” Instead, you try to activate your magic. But the moment he even sensed you powering up, he gripped you hard enough to nearly crush your bones.

“Nah, nope, I don’t think so. You’re done now, Anon… That’s right, I think you deserve to hear your own name once before it all ends, and even that won’t be for awhile. See, I got a plan now. I’m gonna turn Tempest, and your marefriend, and your other little friends, Your dad, and that sweet little yellow pony aunt of yours into stone. And then? I’m gonna shatter em’, one by one. I’m gonna make you watch, Anon, and then it’ll be your turn. What do you think about that? Hm?”

Did he mean it? Ngh, you felt so broken, you could barely move. Your thoughts began to swim in hopelessness. How could you make such a mistake?

Your mind suddenly rushed to visions of losing your friends, your marefriend… Fluttershy...

If you lost… He’d just kill them?

He’d kill them in front of you?

Your mind then began to race with the horrible feeling of failure. The disgusting feeling of loss. The fear of disappointing those you loved. The hopelessness of the situation. The rage caused by his threat. The need to protect your friends and family. The hatred you had for those who’d do you harm.

The chaos deep inside.

“YOU FUCCCCKKKEERRRR!” You suddenly burst with a heavy wave of magical energy that causes the Storm Ravager to lose his grip and fly back. Trees began to soar and the lava began to generate waves outward. You could feel it, that pure animosity you had for such a threat, for such a being. You could feel the unlimited chaotic power of the horn flowing through you, synchronizing with your feelings.

And those feelings were of full rage

The Storm Ravager fell on his stomach with a grunt. He wasn’t expecting that at all, and when he shook his head and looked up, he could see you right in front of him, staring at you with pure resentment. But there was also something else, he could see it, a powerful aura around you, an uncontrolled flow of magic. “K-Kid?! W-what are you doing?! WHAT ARE YOU?!” That aura, it filled him with instant and utter dread, as he knew right then and there it was a power he had never seen before.

“I’m the son of chaos, motherfucker. And you chose the wrong day, oh boy, you really did.” You told him, looking down at him like the worm he was.

The Storm Ravager began to stand up, quickly aiming his arm at you to blast you once more. “I’m not going to...WHA?!” The Storm Ravager doesn’t even get a chance to blast you as the ground around you begins to rise up to the sky, with you looking down at the Storm Ravager with an evil sneer as you go ever higher. “What is he up to now?!”

When you finally reach the sky of the planetoid, you snicker to yourself as you turn around. Your gaze comes upon a pipe organ manifesting itself in front of you. You sit down on the seat in front of it as a black cape appears around you. “And thus we are at the eve of the end of this little game…” You close your eyes, and with just your hooves, you somehow start to play the song ‘Fugue and Toccata’.

“What is he doin-WOAH! WHA! HEY!” As the demonic music began to fill the air, the planetoid began to shake as giant pipes of an organ began to erupt from the ground, nearly stabbing or smashing through the Storm Ravager as he began to dodge around it. “WHAT IS THIS?!”

You just continue to focus on your playing, laughing maniacally as a gigantic portal opens behind you. Your mane began to flow back as the clouds began to slowly circle around you and your organ. “...Everything will be done, and undone.” You say silently to yourself. And the moment you do, pianos, airplanes, trains, cars, buildings, phone booths, hockey sticks, street signs, fake puke, newspapers, televisions, cruise ships… EVERYTHING just began to shoot out of the portal and just hurl itself randomly forward.

“This kid! WHAT IN THE! GAH! WHAT IS GOING ON?! AGH!” The Storm Ravager was trying to fly, he was jumping, dodging, and barely grazing through the barrage of objects being hurled at him. And as you continued to play, the cavalcade of ridiculousness just continued to be hurtled forward. Eventually, even the Storm Ravager could barely keep up and finally started taking hits before being buried under some building debris.

But as you came to the softer part of the music, you looked behind yourself to see if the deed was done. But somehow, the Storm Ravager was slowly and weakly digging himself out. And when he did, he looked upon you once more, and recoiled at what he saw. You were looking down at him with yellowed eyes and flaring red pupils, teeth as sharp as daggers. Seeing he was alright, you refocused your efforts on your playing as the music began to pick up again. “But not everything was thrown at the demon. No, everything was thrown but one minor object… The most important object.” And upon finishing those words, a giant moon sized portal opened upwards, facing down towards the planetoid.

The Storm Ravager was stepping back in fear now, he didn’t know what was going on now, but with the size of the portal and with his wings out of commission, even he knew he couldn’t dodge what was coming. Especially as everything was blackened by an ever encompassing shadow. “Mommy… I’m serious… Help.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA! HERE IT COMES!” You scream in mad laughter as you continue your playing, the portal turning red as a moon sized kitchen sink began to fall through the portal. It was coming in fast, bursting into flame like a meteor, as it neared the surface of the planetoid. Indeed, you had hit the Storm Ravager with everything… But the kitchen sink.

With only seconds left, the Storm Ravager began to look for something to defend himself with. He then happens upon something, and gives out a weak and pathetic little laugh. “Ha… This will do it, this will totally do it.” He pulls out an umbrella, opens it up, and ducks his head under it as he quivers in fear.

Finally, with the end of the song, the sink makes contact with the planetoid, obliterating it completely as it continues to travel through the endless chaotic realm like an asteroid. Even more, the Storm Ravager was nowhere in sight.

The sink had passed through you and your organ, magically of course. And upon your victory, you stand up silently and look back as you bow to the nonexistent audience before you. You let out an evil little chuckle as you then look forward, your eyes still flaring yellow and red. “And thus ends everything, truly he was no...Ngh!”

Suddenly, your stomach growls, causing you to lose your focus as you return to normal instantly. “Shit! I’m hungry, I’m gonna miss dinner!”

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