Chapter 181 - Clearing the Slate
There you sat, at the front of the entrance of the old castle, looking at some of the overgrowth around the area as you pondered.
The party itself wasn’t so bad. You used your first charge to create a giant set of speakers and a machine with every song ever on it. It’s just too bad nobody fucking appreciates dancing to video game music, and Spike had to take over as DJ.
Silverstream finally managed to nab you so you could tell her, and all those willing to listen, some more of your perilous exploits. Hell, she even wanted to know more about your relationship with Chrysalis, something the others, aside from Ocellus, were willing to listen to. You told them, in more detail, the adventures in the other Equestria. You told them about the better times you had with Chrysalis, like when watching movies with her, or that one arcade tournament.
Twilight decided to stick around as well, and watch over everyone. She didn’t want to admit it, but you could tell she was mostly sticking around just to make sure nothing else would happen. Not like she was blaming you or anything, it just seemed to be something that always happens.
You let out a sigh, it was only the afternoon, and already the day was a fucking rollercoaster of craziness. You had to thank your lucky stars that not only was everyone ok, but the Storm King was finally gone for good. But then, you still had to see Celestia. And for some reason, the staff just disappearing like that, that still irked you.
“Yo, Anon, all partied out?” Spike called out to you as he walked over, sitting by your side.
“Huh? Oh, Spike? Ah, sorta. Just needed some fresh air, I got a lot on my mind.” You tell him as you continue to stare into the sky.
“I bet. But just to let you know, I was kidding about that whole Applejack thing… Sorta. But hey, I wouldn’t worry about it too much, it’s not like Applejack is THAT stubborn.” Spike said, with a bit of an awkward chuckle.
“I really wasn’t thinking about it too much. There’s just some other stuff I gotta do, and-” But Spike finishes off your thoughts for you.
“You can’t get over what happened with the staff, right?” He says as he gives you a sudden cool smirk.
“Uh, yeah. What’s with the grin?” You ask, a little unnerved. Sure, it was obvious, but that wasn’t a reason to be arrogant about it.
“Heh, well, we all know how Discord is, he could have still not been trying his best to detect it. Which got me thinking, you can use his magic through your horn, right?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, but they are still my spells. And… Ooooh, oh.” You smack your head with your hoof, and then shake your head left and right. “Oh geez, I feel stupid.”
“So you get what I’m getting at then?” Spike asked.
“Yeah. I had been using my charges for so many other things, I didn’t even think about trying to detect the staff myself. Good thinking, Spike. I guess if I can’t even detect it, then I shouldn’t worry about it anymore.” Damn, fuck, what an excellent idea!
“Yup! And if you do detect it, you can use your last charge of the day to grab it. Hmm, I wonder if you could actually use it though. I’d never try, chaos magic seems too crazy to handle. But if you could, I guess you wouldn’t need to use the horn anymore, huh?” Spike said, looking up at the sky with you.
“Maybe, but then, if I couldn’t handle it, then… Er, well, I’d not want to think about it. But on the other hoof, if I could handle it, well.” You started to drift off for a moment, thinking about sitting on the throne of a flying castle as you rain flaming hot dildos at your enemies. “...Yeaaaahhh, hehehehehe” You chuckled.
“Er, ok.” Spike could see it, your face was full of malevolent yet jovial thoughts. It made him feel a bit uneasy. But he quickly calmed down, and tapped at his own head. “Well, if you’re gonna detect it yourself, you better make sure the spell you cast is a good one.”
“Good?” You scoffed at his words. “Spike, trust me, this spell I got whipped up already is gonna be amazing, just watch.” Oh yes, you already had something in mind. A super powerful sonar blast meant to pick up higher readings of chaos. It was going to be a powerful cast this time around, so you readied yourself, stepping down to the dirt and finding a place to dig your hooves into to brace yourself as you slap on the horn and aim forward into the forest. “I’m gonna scan all of Equestria.”
“I mean, isn’t that the point?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, but this blast? It’s gonna be silent but deadly… Er, I mean, like. It’s not a fart, it’s just going to be this super duper powerful thingy that I'm gonna make quiet. Y'know, so I don’t interrupt the party or anything like that.” Dammit, you were just trying to make a cool pun.
“Er, and the deadly part?” Spike asked, really hoping you didn’t mean that literally
“Oh, It’s just gonna be a super powerful sonar. Now, stand back, Spike” You yelled out as you began to glow, huge amounts of energy gathering into your horn.
“Oh no!” Spike shouted as he ducked behind you, covering his head.
“HERE I GOOOOOAAAHHHFEDEOSGIFJGSDFKJ” Welp, even though you had prepared yourself, you still ended up blasting backwards into the wall of the castle. You create an indent where you hit, and then fall forward on your face, right onto the ground. “N-ngh…”
Spike peeked ahead, watching as an invisible blast just tore forward, causing the entire forest to rustle as the sonar ring traveled through the forest. “Oh… I really hope nothing bad happens.” Then he looks over to you, and notices you're hurt. “Anon! Yo, woah! Anon, are you ok? Wow, you really hit the wall there, huh?”
You slowly raised your upper body, feeling a shocking pain in your torso. “N-ngh, I would be ok… If I had hit my head. Ugh, geez, I wasn’t expecting it to be that strong.”
“Neither was I. Er, it’s not gonna destroy Equestria or anything, is it?” Spike asked, hoping he didn’t have to tell Twilight. He knew it was the right thing to do, but he didn’t want her to be mad at you again. Even if this time, it’d be for more legit reasons.
“I-it shouldn’t, the forest looks fine. I think it gets less, er, windy as it goes wider. B-but, ngh, it should detect that staff, no problem. Thanks for the idea, Spike.” Really, it was a good idea.
“I hope you’re rig- Wait, so, it’s like a bat sonar thing? So, like, it’ll reflect back to you or something?” Spike said, as he began to grow pale.
“No, more like it’ll sweep all of Equestria, and then come back to me from behi-Oh no.” Oh shit! You immediately begin digging “Oh man, I need a huge pile of dirt!”
“Anon! Is that gonna help?! How hard is it going to hit you when it comes back?!” Spike asked, while also digging with you anyway, trying to make the pile as big as he could.
“No idea! But if I have a big bed of dirt, then everything should be ok! I just need a soft cushion and I’ll be fine!” Fucking hell! At least you were on top of it this time. As soon as the pile was big enough, you leaned back on it and braced yourself once more. “I’m not hitting a wall this time!”
“And you’re sure it's coming from that way?” Spike asked, pointing backwards towards the castle.
“Yeah, trust me, it’s my spell after all.” You say, making sure you were fully ready to be cushioned by the large dirt pile.
“Ok then.” Spike shrugged as he jumped into the hole generated by the digging and hides.
Fucking Spike, you told him you knew what was up. Sure, the spell was more powerful than you anticipated, but you still mapped out how it worked. And speaking of maps, once it does come back, you’ll have a comprehensive globe with everything chaos pointed out on it. It will beFDSFSDFDFSDFDSVGDC.
Suddenly, the sonar wave comes back from the same direction it was sent from, slamming into the dirt pile first and burying you under it as a giant stone slab hits and stands straight up at the end.
Spike hears your yelling and looks up. He sees your ‘grave’ and starts to panic. “Oh man, this is bad! Anon?! ANON!” Spike yelled as he prepared his claws to dig you out. But before he could get the chance, your hoof bursts from the ground, making him fall back as you pop your head up, disheveled, and gasping for breath. “Anon?! A-are you ok?!”
“Graaagh! Ptooey!” You started to spit up dirt and gravel, pulling yourself out of the dirt and crawling along your belly before rolling on your back. “Hrgh, w-what happened?”
“I-I don’t know, the wave thing just came back to you instead of coming from the other side of the castle. Are you alright? That looked like it hurt. D-do you want me to go get Twilight?” Spike asked, worried but ready to try to provide you any aid you might need.
“N-no, ngh.” You slowly roll back onto your belly and unsteadily stand as your horn grows bright upon your head. “N-ngh, you’d t-think my body would be a-as strong as my head with all that t-training I did. N-ngh…” Man, you were glad Diamond wasn’t here, she’d demand you see a doctor. Something you do not need, you hoped anyway. “I don’t even k-know what happened, egh. Maybe I miscalculated.”
“You super miscalculated. That wave must work like bat sonar, Anon, because it came back to you, and much harder than you sent it out as. I’m glad you’re ok, but I dunno, you may need to see a doctor. I mean it, look, your horn is glowing and everything.” Spike said as he pointed up at your horn.
“Hmm? O-oh, er, no. It’s glowing because that’s the second part of the spell. Looks like it still worked. Watch this.” Please don’t let it kill you, please don’t let it kill you, please don’t let it kill you. You aim your horn up as projection lights seem to form an augmented reality map. “Aha! There we go, it worked! Feast your eyes, Spike, a comprehensive map of Equestria, Anon style!”
“Huh? Is that why your horn was glowing? Huh, this is pretty cool, actually. But are you sure you’re ok?” Spike asked, still concerned, and yet mystified by the map.
“Yeah, I am. Just, hmmm.” You were ignoring your pain at this point, eyeing the map closely. As you look at the forest area, you find a dead spot on the map. “That’s weird, this place isn’t showing up. And neither is this, right here in the school. What gives?”
Spike takes a look himself, and realizes what that spot could be. “Oh, that’s where the Tree of Harmony probably is. In fact, I’m kinda sure that’s exactly the spot. Dunno about the school though, other than the fact that it seems harmony causes a few holes to appear on your map. Look, there’s another one up at the Crystal Empire. I bet that’s the Crystal Heart.”
Huh… Well then, that does seem to explain that. “Ok, I guess that makes sense. But, come on, the staff, it has to be-” But Spike suddenly jumps when he points out a big red mark.
“Anon! There, on the map and… Wait, right on the other side of the castle? I-is that it? Is that the staff?”
Woah! There it was, the staff! It was right there! On the other side of the castle! “Well, well, it was this close the whole time and he didn’t even feel it. Ok then, let’s see exactly where it is. Map, I command you to zoom in on that spot!”
The augmented reality map began to shift, zooming in on that spot as it changed into a hologram of that section of the land. Closer, and closer, and closer still, you were ready. Finally, the staff was found and you could not only ultimately get rid of it, but one up Discord at his own… Wait, WAIT!
“Uh, Anon, that isn’t a staff, that’s Discord.” Spike said as he pointed at the hologram of the draconequus.
Oh, it was him alright, garbed in tennis player’s clothing as it showed the last thing he did before the sonar turned around without your knowledge, and that’s because the fucker swung his tennis racket at the fucking wave and sent it back across Equestria. He was even holding a sign up with his tail that said ‘I told you I already checked for everything, now don’t you feel foolish?’. You began to turn red with fury as the hologram began to disappear, your horn plopping from your head. “GRRR! It was him! He sent the wave back at me! That petty piece of…” You stopped for a moment, grabbing your horn and gazing upon it. “Oh, ohh ho, he wants a war, huh? He wants to be all whiny because of the ‘truth’? Well, how about I-” But Spike begins to shake you to get your attention.
“Woah! Woah! Anon, you have to relax. I can already see what you’re doing, and it’s totally a bad idea. You’re not Discord, you’re better than that!” Spike said as he crossed his arms, then threw them out quickly. “Just don’t do whatever you’re planning to do, ok? That’s what he would want. Trust me, I already agree with you, he’s being petty. But I also know getting revenge because he’s being petty is exactly what he wants. Remember, Anon, he does care about you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have even given you the three charges. This is just him also getting some petty revenge. He doesn't hate you or anything like that”
“Spike, are you kidding me?! So what am I supposed to do, let him walk all over me? He literally sent me into the ground!” You were furious, and you already had an idea of what to cast. Jimmy seemed to be the center of his annoyance as of late, so giving Jimmy even more would be the perfect revenge, he wouldn’t be able to stand it.
“Yeah, I know, but think about it. Discord always thinks he’s on top. If you keep trying to one up him, he’ll just try to one up you instead. You have to talk to him, make him understand that what he did upset you. Discord may be a jerk, but he isn’t heartless. Just let him know how you feel.” Holy crap, Spike was sounding like an after school special right now.
“I’ve had moments like that with him already, and yet he still pulls off his crap!” You tell him.
“I’m gonna assume crap means the stuff he usually pulls, and Anon, I know, he always does that. Look…” Spike stops to look around, then he gets close, and whispers. “Discord is just a big baby sometimes. It’s why Fluttershy usually had to wrangle him in half the time. I’m not saying him always doing something like this is right, but getting him to realize it’s wrong usually gets it to stop. Look, what would you rather have. Discord and you at war? Or just making him realize he made a mistake and going back to being really good friends? Come on, you’ve said it yourself, Discord can be really awesome when he wants to be, do you really wanna ruin that? I know it stinks, but think of it this way, you’re the mature one here, and I bet that always makes Fluttershy happy.”
Dammit… “Ugh, you had to mention her. And if I did do this, and she found out, she’d be pretty upset. Eh, fine, at least she’ll know I didn’t retaliate… Actually…” You look at your horn, and let out a sigh. “I’d like to actually sleep next to her tonight. Stress free, that’s all I want, I want to be stress free. And that means there is still one last thing I need to do.”
“Is it still about the staff, Anon?” Spike asked.
You shake your head. “No, it seems it really is gone. No, I need to see Princess Celestia and get one last thing done. She’s the only one who can help me with it, and once it is actually done, I can finally rest.”
“Geez, Anon, you’re suddenly getting really deep on me here. Look, whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.” Spike said.
“It is, I didn’t get to really mention it, but Neighsay heard rumors about what’s going on with the whole Chrysalis thing, and he is gonna want to investigate it himself. If I don’t deal with it now, then there is a chance a whole lot of bad stuff can happen, including the school being shut down.” You explain.
“Oh… Ok, that’s pretty bad. Really bad. Er, just don’t go crazy over it though. Even with Princess Celestia’s help, if you say the wrong thing, it’s over.” Spike warns.
“I know, I know. Ok, I’ll make sure to choose my words carefully.” You aim your horn down and open a portal directly to where Celestia should be. To hell to whatever she might be doing, this was important.
“That portal is gonna take you directly to the princess, isn’t it?” Spike asked as he squinted at you, crossing his arms.
“Er, yeah, why?” You ask
Spike walks over to you and knocks on your head. “Hello, she might actually be busy with something important. You have to be more respectful!”
“H-hey! C’mon.” You say as you back up, caught off guard with his sudden lecturing. “It’s not like it’s gonna take me directly to her, just somewhere I could stand around and wait.”
Spike rolled his eyes and let out a huff. “Eh, I guess. Just don’t make her angry, ok? I’ll let everycreature know you went out for something in case they ask. But, y’know, I do gotta let Twilight know.”
“I know, it’ll be fine, I’m sure she’ll understand. Anyway, seeya, Spike, I got stuff to do.” You wave to him, and dive into the portal. However, when you pop out, you could see you were in the Canterlot Archives. You could see Celestia reading through a huge book on a desk as Luna frantically pulled out books with her magic, trying to find something.
“Those winds, sister, they have to be an omen for something. Are you sure you felt nothing? Not a single premonition?” Luna asked, as her eyes scanned the books, page by page.
Celestia, while seeming more calm, had a tenseness in her own voice that suggested something was wrong. “I’m sure. Either the strange winds came as soon as they manifested, or whoever summoned them is beyond my perception. And yet, with how many times I have personally read these tomes, I cannot remember one mentioning a strong yet brief wind that can change direction on a whim.”
“Neither do I. But such power, more focused than a hurricane, and yet so brief. It is obviously a display of power, to inflict fear upon us and our subjects. But we will not be threatened! If whoever summoned these winds wish to hide, then we will eventually flush them out, no matter the cost!” Luna proclaims.
Oh christ…
“Er, heya?” You said as you stood there, nervously waving.
“Anon?” Both sisters replied as they turned towards you.
“Aha!” Luna shouted as she lifted you with her magic and presented you to Celestia. “Even Anon is aware of this, and has come to assist us! Tell us, Anon, has Twilight been alerted as well?”
Celestia stared at you, then looked over towards a window. “I can only guess she has been, and has sent Anon here with use of his own magic, as it would be faster than sending a letter. With everything we have to worry about, this will hopefully shed some light on the situation and make us calm.”
Wow, Celestia, for once, didn’t seem to think you were the cause. Then again, they had no reason to believe you’d just show up out of nowhere to just admit it was you. And sudden winds like that, which was your radar pulse, didn’t sound like something you’d do. So, er, you just had to wonder how’d they both react when you told them. “Um, actually.”
“Actually? Actually what, Anon?” Luna asks as she turns you around to face her.
“Um, that wind was me, actually. I was kinda doing some important work and it just got a little out of hoof?” You say with a sheepish chuckle before letting out a yelp as you are suddenly dropped on the ground.
Luna’s worry turns into a cold hard stare as she looks to you, then Celestia, and then turns to face the exit as she begins to walk out. “I’m going back to bed.”
“Luna? What ab-” But whatever Celestia was about to say, Luna cuts her off immediately.
“He is yours to deal with, sister. I am going back to sleep. I do not wish to be disturbed. I will quite literally throw whoever wakes me up again out the window, including you, if I am disturbed.” Luna said with a low growl as she walked off.
You were rubbing your ass from the fall. Geez, you were getting tossed around a lot all of a sudden. “Yikes, I wasn’t expecting her to be all cranky and- Oh boy.” You looked up to see Celestia giving you a cold hard stare. It forced you to fold your ears as you tried to give Celestia the cutest apologetic look you could muster, your eyes even shimmering in adorableness. “A-are you mad at me? I-it was an accident.”
Celestia wrinkled her nose, then furrowed her brow at you further. “You disturbed my sister, frightened my subjects into a panic, interrupted my meeting with Fancy Pants, and caused the guards to be on high alert. And then you ask me such a question?! Are you aware of what you have just done?” Her tone was becoming colder and colder by the second.
Oh man, Spike was right. Fuck! “Er, Celestia...erm. Look, don’t get mad at me, ok?! I’m sorry! It was an accident!” And then her horn suddenly began to glow as she seemed to get even angrier. “Celestia, wait!” You ducked your head, you didn’t have another charge left to stop her.
And then suddenly, you felt a gentle petting on your head. Her hoof, in fact, as she used her magic to bring over a small cup of tea to sip from.
Wut?
You looked up to see Celestia give a relaxed sigh as she closed the tome and placed the cup down on the table. “I have to admit, your timing couldn’t be more perfect. True, I am upset about the other things.” Then she suddenly tensed. “But if I had to see that play one more time, I think I would have lost my mind.”
Wut?
Celestia looked down at you, and noticed how fucking confused you looked. “Oh, Fancy Pants had invited me to see a play after our meeting. One I had seen previously, eight times, within the last four days, and it lasts three hours. The play itself is excellent, mind you, and quite popular. But if I had to go one more time, I swear I would have painted my sister up in my colors and had her go in my stead. And, knowing you’re the cause of all this, I know it isn’t anything to worry about. Also, it gives me three hours to do whatever I wish. Hmmm.” Celestia began to ponder to herself “I wonder what I should do with so much free time? I could finally catch up on some of those video games you had given us so long ago, but then again, a full three hours at a spa sounds so good right now. I’d not even mind taking you with me, Anon, if you want. But do know I expect some professionalism out of you, given how you tend to act around pretty mares… Such as myself.”
That bitch, she literally faked you out. Wait, no, Anon, relax. Important stuff, you got important fucking stuff to discuss. “Actually, Princess Celestia. I actually have important stuff to discuss with you.”
“Hm? How important?” Celestia asked.
“It’s about Chancellor Neighsay.” You say.
Celestia’s eyes widened in shock. “Well, that is quite important.”
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Much as I despise Celestia to this day from this story, I still do enjoy it when she's involved, she does have a fun personality.
ALSO ANON, YOU FOOL, YOUR SPELL WAS PERFECT FOR FINDING PLACES THE STAFF COULD BE HIDDEN FROM CHAOS DETECTION JUST AS MUCH AS DETECTING IT!
10574550
anon is really stupid like dumer then dirt
you're?
Or is ‘hurt’ used as a synonym for ‘injury’ here?
I think that that period needs to be a question mark.
10575100
I meant you're, lol
Oh fuck shit..... I used to read this on epub format. I have no idea where I left my place off. I'm royally fucked I don't even remmeber where I was. It's been literal years.
10575849
Welp time to start digging through old files to find my place.
All I remember is that it was before the school of friendship was even a thing. or mentioned... this is gonna be awhile. It had like just been previewed.
Discord is such an ass. Sometimes I want to strangle him
10574550
Just caught up.
You actually bring up a good point hiding something that powerful under the cover of harmony magic is pretty smart. I’m paraphrasing, but I remember Discord saying something along the lines that the amount of chaos magic in the staff could easily cause it to self-destruct. Putting such a magic item in these kind of conditions sounds like it would either make the magic item stable or cause it to experience a catastrophic failure.
Yeah, SHE’S WAY MORE STUBBORN!