• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,068 Views, 1,082 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 104 - The Horizontal Waltz

Teleporting back to the front door of the Rich Manor, you let out a cheer, feeling you have Chrysalis all figured out. “Haha! Diamond, we really did it! You really did it! You’re amazing!” You cheer as you give her a hug and spin her around for a bit. “She’s going to do some half hearted evil plan! She’s giving up! Yeeeeeeeeeeesss! Finally!”

“Anon! I’m… wait.” At first Diamond was ecstatic for the praise, up until you mentioned that last part. “She’s not gonna slack on her plan, she’s going full on evil, she told me she was, and I could tell she was.”

“....” WUT?! “Wait, what?! She can’t! Why would she tell me to warn the princesses then?!”

“I dunno, she didn’t actually tell me what the plan was. But I guess she felt with you explaining things, that the fallout wouldn’t be as bad if the princesses knew ahead of time, kind of like a game.” Diamond guessed, pondering on it for a moment before looking to you with bedroom eyes, not saying another word.

“Oh geez! Chrysalis, why do you gott-wha? Diamond?” You looked at her, confused, and with that look, a little subdued. “You ok?”

Diamond giggles a little, then gave you a lick along your neck. “Anon, how about we get on my bed right now and do the horizontal waltz.”

“the horiz-GYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAH!” WHAT IN THE FUCK?! DID SHE JUST?! HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID THAT SUDDENLY COME FROM?! DING DING DING! Your entire body turns red as steam exhausts from your nose, a loud whistle like sound being blasted out. That was it! HOLY SHIT! WHEN DID SHE…?! Your eyes roll back inside your head as you fall over to your side.

“Wow, Chrysalis was right, it really did knock you out.” Diamond said, confused, but delighted as she tugs on your leg. “I don’t even know what that means, but looking at your reaction, I bet it’s a lot of fun!”

Your eye began to twitch at that, holy shit, she didn’t even realize what it meant?! Chrysalis, you bitch! She outplayed you again! How could this situation get any worse?! How were you going to talk her out of this?!

And with that thought, the door opened, with Filthy Rich at the other side of it looking around for something. “Now what was that noise? Coulda sworn ah heard a train roll- Oh, well hello there, my little darlin’, what are… Anon? Why are you on the ground like that? It’s dirty down there, son.”

SDRGSDFGDFGDFGS OH GOD, IT GOT WORSE! You stand up, going red to white, as you greet Mr. Rich. “MR. RICH! HI, HOW ARE YOU?!”

“Anon, ya don’t have to shout. Huh, what’s goin on here? Did any of you hear a train?” Filthy said as he looked around again, up until an idea suddenly hit him, causing him to chuckle. “Ah, never mind. Ah bet it was just Anon impressin’ again with that magic. Ain’t that right, son? You know you ain’t gotta wow her everytime. You’re gonna ruin the romanticisms that way.”

“Oh, he wasn’t using his magic, Daddy. I was just asking him about the horizontal waltz.” Diamond said. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

“Oh, is that all? Ah thought it was something like-” But then something clicked in Filthy’s head, making him bug out, his mane suddenly exploding outwards as he yelled out. “ASKING ABOUT WHAT NOW?! DIAMOND, WHERE DID YA HEAR SUCH A THING?!”

“U-uhmm…” Diamond, not only surprised that she had to come up with a lie on the spot, was also surprised by her father’s reaction. She couldn't let him know about Chrysalis. “A-a pony from out of town, who lives very very far away told me about it. I-is there a problem? Do you know what the horizontal waltz is?”

Filthy’s eye twitched, he was losing it, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and he also knew he couldn’t shatter her innocence lest everything he ever did as a father falls apart. He gulped, then looked to you, half accusingly and half hoping you didn’t know jack shit about this. “E-erm, well, that’s a matter if Anon here knows what that is. But ya don’t, do ya, son?”

OH GOD, NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW! NOT EVEN DISCORD! GAAAAAAH! WHAT DO YOU SAY?! SHIT! YOU ONLY HAD ONE WAY OUT OF THIS! LIIIEEEEE! “U-um, well, that is like, a pegasus dance, right? Where you dance vertically in the air? I mean, I could do it with my horn if I shift gravity, then we could waltz together in mid air. S-seems impractical, b-but yeah, sounds about right.” Oh god, please don’t let him kill you.

But Filthy wasn’t going to kill you, as he assumed you really didn’t know what it was either. Hearing your words, he immediately uses them to his own advantage to steer his daughter away from such a notion. “T-that’s right, Anon, that’s exactly what it is. S-so you see, darlin’, it ain’t really nothin’ to think about, and especially ask yer mother about. It’s just another way to waltz we earth ponies can’t even do.”

“Really? Huh, I guess. But then why does it sound like it’d be more intimate a-” But before Diamond can say her words, Filthy suddenly cuts her off as he opens the door wide.

“Well, will ya look at the time. Sorry, darlin’, but today I’m gonna have to give ya a few extra business type lessons. Say goodbye to Anon, ahm sure he’s got very important things to do. Right, son?” Filthy really didn’t want to be rude to you, but this sudden development caused him to want to get this out of his daughter’s head as soon as possible. And although he didn’t know that you ACTUALLY knew what the horizontal waltz was, he winked at you just the same to just get you to leave without it seeming too rude or sudden. And, oh yeah, you got the damn hint and wanted to be out of there anyway.

“Um, yes! Yes I do, gotta actually talk to, er, Princess Twilight about… Something… Important.” Oh, please, please… You could feel your soul crumbling, thank god it wasn’t Spoiled who stepped through that door, you’d already be dead.

“OH! That’s right, you do! But uhm, Daddy…” Diamond said with a whine. “Do I really have to? I want to hang out with Anon a little more, maybe see how the whole horizontal waltz thing feels.”

Both you and Filthy’s eye twitched at the same time of both of you hearing that, his tie having a life of it's own as it nearly flies off. Holy christ! Again, thank god Filthy was more understanding and ignorant of the fucking situation. “No can do, honey lamb. Rich business is important business, you have plenty of time to be with Anon tomorrow. But, er, let’s just be forgetting about any dancin’ for now and get to learnin’, ya hear?”

Diamond sighed, near defiantly, but accepted her father’s words with a slight eye roll. “I guess, ok…” She then turns to you and gives you a gentle kiss on the nose. “Ok, Anon, I gotta go. Super good luck on your mission, ok?” Diamond says with a wink.

“Y-yeah, um, good luck with your lesson!” You say with a quick and shaky kiss back “And, uh, take care, Mr. Rich. Erm, and uh… I’ll forget about the waltz thing too, seems a little complicated.”

“Yes, very complicated. A-anyway, ya take care, son.” Filthy said as he slicked his mane back and straightened his tie, which had become tilted as the conversation went on. He let Diamond into the house, took a look outside one last time, and slammed the door shut.

You fell to the ground after that, twitching, thanking every lucky star you fucking had that this didn’t fucking go nuclear. Dear lord, dear fucking lord. You knew, you just knew, that Mr. Rich was going to do his best to make her forget about it, and to especially make sure Mrs. Rich never hears about it. Because god, you could imagine you hanging on a noose next to Mr. Rich if shit really went down.

And although you should find Twilight and tell her the news. You had free time now, enough time to go and personally check out your ‘admirers’. But, Anon, just remember. No matter how cute they might actually be, you must stand firm, this entire quest is just meant to see what this yak and hippogriff were all about.

Author's Note:

A short chapter for a skit I thought would be funny.

Prepare for Young 6

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