• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 286 - The Ruined Town and Tirek's Gambit

The portal opened within the town, near the center fountain where a statue of Tirek stood proud. One by one, you all stepped out from the swirling tunnel, the town becoming visible through the other end.


Silverstream, who was currently adorned with the element of laughter, immediately gasped as she gazed upon the warp town. “...This is horrible.”

The town was twisted under the dark, foreboding clouds. Buildings adorned with blood red roofs, in disrepair or twisted to such a point that they looked unlivable. The roads are ripped up or have pot holes in them. The air was cold, and even Twilight’s castle in the distance looked unwelcoming.

“Yeah, yeah, everything sucks. Whatever, the sooner we kick Tirek’s butt, the sooner everything will be okay.” Starlight complained as she walked past everyone. Her eyes were burning with the same look as Sombra’s. Even within the heart of the town, it seemed her spell was holding strong.

“Yeesh, calm down.” Grubber said as he did a check on himself. He had equipped himself with some strange looking grenades, his Trapper Blaster, shock gloves, and a few tools. He wanted to bring some bigger guns, but he was advised to bring more manageable gear to avoid any accidents. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Well, he knows we’re coming, and has made it hard to refuse his invitation. I’m sure he’s watching us at this very moment with one of those strange machines.” “Neighsay said as he looked back, closing the portal once everyone had stepped through.

You looked at your leg, adjusting your Starlight Hook to make sure it was strapped on properly, and making sure your saddlebag was fastened around you. “That’s what bothers me. He wants us to play by his rules. Dad, are you sure there’s no other way to get to him? Or even steal the staff?”

“Unfortunately not. But why does that matter? I’m not in the mood to play with my food today. Tirek and Cozy Glow will know my full wrath for what they have done to my dear Fl-ahrm, best friend.” Discord said as he raised his claws, his eyes burning as he squeezed the air tightly. “Oh, they will rue the day they messed with the lord of chaos.”

“It matters because your words are just words. Now is the time to step up, Discord. Your usual shenanigans will do you no good here.” Chrysalis said as she slowly began to look around, then up towards where the school used to be. “There’s Tirek’s castle. Everycreature stay close, and keep your wits about you.” Chrysalis said as she began to advance.

“How Sandbar doing? Feel weird?” Yona, adorned with the element of honesty, asked Sandbar.

“I feel pretty chill so far, doesn’t seem like the spell is working on me at all.” Sandbar said, adorned with the element of loyalty.

“What about you, Ocellus? You okay?” Asked Smolder, adorned with the element of kindness.

Ocellus, adorned with the element of magic, looked at Chrysalis for a moment, and only slightly flinched. But as she looked towards Smolder, she was filled with some confidence to continue. “Mhmmm, I-I’m not backing down now. We have to do this, everycreature needs us.”

Gallus was staring at his element, the element of generosity, as he looked back at you. “So, uh, you sure you got these element things right? Griffins aren’t really known to be generous.”

“You got any better ideas? Trust me on this one, irony always works out in situations like this.” You try to reassure Gallus as you give him a cocky grin. “I’m a master at this sort of thing, it’ll be fine.”

Gallus just gave you an odd look as he answered you awkwardly. “A-alright, I gues- Oh… What is that?” Gallus pointed forward. You all had to stop at the unsettling sight that all laid before you.

“Normally, I’d make a joke about this sort of thing. But this? Oh, I don’t like this at all.” Discord said as he gazed upon the creepy scene. Ponies were lined up opposite of each other, standing there, all staring at your group as they formed a pathway towards the castle.

“Are they going to attack?” Asked Neighsay.

“I doubt it. Tirek may be treacherous and cruel, but he loves to show off his dominance. He’s just positioning his pawns.” Chrysalis answered as she walked forward.

“I don’t like this, they’re just staring at us. There’s nothing we can do for them?” Silverstream asked, looking over to anyone for answers.

“Nope.” Starlight said with no care in her voice. “We’re just gonna have to crush Tirek if we’re gonna snap them out of it. Now come on, already, I got kite flying to do later.” Starlight demanded as she stomped forward along the path.

“Hold yourself, Starlight. Trust me, I want to stomp those two into dust more than anypony. But I have to admit, Tirek has set up quite the unsettling sight for most of our brave little adventurers. Give them a moment to compose themselves, then rush them to the front door.” Chrysalis said with a stoic expression, passing by the ominous gazes of the ponies. Though, for a quick moment, she stopped to look at two particular ponies. But only for a moment, before she moved on.

You noticed it, and took a look at the ponies she was staring at. “...Oh geez.” It was the Riches. Gone was Spoiled’s usual disgusted look or Filthy’s eccentric smile. They just stared at your group with expressionless stares. “...Don’t worry, I’ll get you guys out of this.” You whispered as you moved along.

“Dude, this isn’t cool. How could he do something like this?” Sandbar said, disgusted with the sight before him.

“For somecreature like Tirek, this is typical. But to know a foal is also behind this… Such depravity.” Neighsay said, even he seemed shakened at the sight.

“Are we sure they ain't gonna attack us?” Grubber said, entering a fighting pose past every pony he walked past.

“No, this is definitely a show of power. Whatever dangers await us, it is inside the castle itself.” Tempest explained.

And so you all walked along the path, passing by each familiar set of ponies who were caught in the spell. Man, he even got poor Cheerilee. You hadn’t really spoken to her since you left her class, now you felt awful seeing her standing there soullessly.

The castle itself was menacing. You never got a chance to see it from the outside before you got obliterated. It stood tall where the school once stood. Obsidian black and blood red in color, a citadel more tall than wide. The banners of Tirek blew in the empty winds on each side of the colossal castle. Even the main doors were uninviting, despite opening automatically for you all. Spikes on the outer edges, a cold deathly air blowing from within, it truly fit his brutal image.

…Up until you actually stepped inside.

Your group stood within a modern looking human lobby straight out the matrix, with obsidian black marble, high quality red sofas to sit on, and regular lights alit on the ceiling in two rows. The most notable thing was the television above a steel red door. It was currently off.

“What kind of grand hall is this? Hm? Is that one of those odd screens like at your manor?” Neighsay asked as he pointed towards the unlit screen.

“So it is. Hmph, it seems your ‘sthick’ isn’t the only thing he has stolen, Discord.” Chrysalis said with a half-hearted chuckle.

“Indeed.” Discord said as he shook his head at the shameful display. “Ah, Tirek, has to steal everything just to make himself feel big. He even does it literally. This is why his father never truly respected him. For all his attempts at compensation, he truly is just a speck of dust in the winds we call life.”

“Sure, okay. Look, can you guys stop acting like big shots and help with this door?” Smolder said as she was tapping her foot, annoyed, as Yona was already in the process of ramming at it to no avail.

Yona gave a good attempt, but when she rammed into it, the door barely budged. “Ouch! Ngh, did Yona bash through door?”

“Nope.” Gallus answered as he knocked on it. “Not even by a little.”

“Chrysalis, do you think this is some sort of trap?” You asked Chrysalis as you walked towards the screen. “I mean, it’s weird. Is this something he’d set up? I feel like he’s just going to zap us. I know what that screen is for, he’s probably gonna start talking pretty soon.”

“Oh, this is undoubtedly a trap, he just hasn’t sprung it yet. Tirek isn’t really one for petty distractions such as this unless he’s still too weak to do anything directly. Discord, you mentioned the staff’s limitations, what exactly does that mean for us?” Chrysalis asked sharply as she looked towards Discord’s direction.

“The worst thing of all… Rules. This room isn’t a trap, oh no no no, not at all. I can feel my magic coursing beyond that door. Tirek is expecting us to do something, probably those trials he mentioned. But don’t you worry your little buggy head. He still has to play by the rules too. Whatever he has set before us will have a way to be beaten. And with me on the team, we’ll be done in no time.” Discord said as he hopped onto the sofa and began to lay down. “Now let us just wait for the blowhard to contact us and tell us how doomed we are.”

“Blowhard, am I?” Called Tirek’s voice from all around the room.

You all looked over at the screen. There it was, it began to turn on as Tirek appeared on screen, smiling arrogantly with his arms behind his back, standing tall. Dammit, that madness from last night, you couldn’t see it in him now. What changed? And more noticeably, where was Cozy Glow? “Well, well, if it isn’t the worst villain ever. Okay, dude, are you serious with all this? You know you can’t manipulate Deus Ex Machina, right? That’s not how it works.”

Tirek smirked slightly as he responded. “Oh, I believe that now. But you see, outworlder, I’m not expecting to actually manipulate it myself. The trials I’ve set before you are to manipulate the world to your favor.”

“Our favor? What are you talking about, Tirek? I already know we’ll destroy you, so why would you knowingly make it worse for yourself?” Chrysalis questioned, eyeing him closely.

Tirek lifted a finger and pointed upwards, acting more jovial in a menacing manner. “And that’s the golden question, isn’t it? Let me explain something to you all. When I say I saw how I was defeated, I mean I saw everything that led up to it. It may surprise everypony but the outworlder here, but Equestria itself conspired against me before I set off my plan. Each element of harmony managed to achieve a key to that infernal box before they even knew I was out and about, with our dear princess obtaining the final key through some unforeseeable error on my part. At first, it truly did drive me mad just seeing how, little by little, I could see my plan was doomed to fail before it was even conceived.” Tirek turned around, arms to his backside as his voice became deeper and darker. “And then I had an epiphany.” Tirek then turned his head, smiling evilly. “I’ll create my own trials to be defeated, and for the sake of your own lives, you’ll complete each and every one to get to me.” Tirek then turned around, holding out his arms as his voice became grander. “You’ll have a full advantage against me, and yet, I will know exactly what is coming to me by design. Chrysalis at her full power, the outworlder with an extra set of tricks, the teamwork of a broken unicorn and her lowly subordinate, and of course, the resurgence of the elements of harmony. I’ll be able to bring out the best out of each and every one of you.” Tirek then outstretches his hand and closed it tightly. “..And I’ll crush each and every one of you as your gimmicks become at their most obvious. Your magic will become mine to bring me back to my true glory, and Chrysalis and Discord will be in their proper places to fully complete my spell.”

What in the fuck?

Discord got up from the couch, annoyed, as he pointed towards Tirek. “Excuse me! If you’re going to go down a list of magnificent feats, then you know you have to mention me as well. Or did you forget that I’m the most important being in the room?”

“Forget that, how the heck is that plan not crazy? Are you telling me you’re wasting all our time with some plan that can’t work? How are you supposed to beat us at our best? How do you beat the elements of harmony? Let me in there! I’ll blow you up myself!” Starlight growled as she bashed at the door with her hooves.

“She’s right, Tirek. And considering our group, you’re not gonna get sent back to Tartarus. We’re gonna make you a damned puddle of guts before we even need the elements.” You told him, stomping your hoof down. Even you were annoyed. “Christ! I’m going to fuck you up for what you did to them! To everyone!”

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Tirek just shrugged at your apparent ignorance. “I’ve seen practically everything you all have to bring against me. And your ace in the hole, the elements, are so slow that I’ll have plenty of time to act. Ahhh, I realized why you think I can’t win.” Tirek looked at you with an evil smile “But you see, that’s my secret. However, I am not without mercy. Discord, Chrysalis, should you choose to give up now…” Suddenly, the screen changed to a shot of four stasis tubes. While two were empty, one contained Twilight, and the other… Cozy Glow? “...I will allow the rest of you all to leave Equestria. You can take the ponies you’ve rescued thus far and make preparations to leave before my takeover. That is more than fair. What say you?”

Chrysalis just became incredibly disgusted with the offer. “I say you can take your offer and stuff it. I bow down to nocreature!”

“Wait… Is that Cozy? What, Tirek? You couldn’t resist betraying your partner?” Wow, you didn’t expect Cozy to get beaten so easily.

The screen shifts back to Tirek as he becomes more stoic. “An expected answer. Hm? Ah, her, believe it or not she asked for it. Seems my time dilation wasn’t truly self contained and everything she heard coming from my little bubble was too high pitched for her little ears. I admit, even I found her request to keep her asleep until things were ready a bit off.” Tirek then laughed at the entire prospect of it. “But who was I to argue?”

“Enough! I tire of these games. I tire of your empty threats, Tirek. It is clear to me you don’t have the power to stop us and thus, are stalling for time. In fact, your trials are nothing to me, for I can just open another gate to your keep and we can handle you from there.” Neighsay threatened, clearly tired of the conversation. "Using my magic to locate your position is but a simple thought to me."

“Hm? I wouldn’t recommend that. My rules are still in play, and should you choose to break them, I will end every pony within this town. One way or another, you will lose.” Tirek threatened, his tone becoming more serious.

Discord scoffed at those words, rolling his eyes. “Oh, come off it, Tirek. We both know you can’t do that with the staff’s current state. You’ve clearly brought the staff to its limits preparing for us, severing the connection with even one of those ponies now would blow us all up to smithereens. So, whatever your name is, just open the gate, even I tire of this needless and pointless prattling.”

“I’m aware of that, Discord.” Tirek says.

Wut?

“Tirek, you may have lost your mind, but even you wouldn’t do such a thing. What a laughable bluff that is.” Chrysalis scoffed.

“He isn’t bluffing, and he isn’t insane.” Tempest said.

“Tempest? What do you mean? There’s no way, right? He wouldn’t.” Even if Tirek wasn’t insane, the guy is way too arrogant and ambitious to do that.

“He would. He was sealed for a thousand years, only to come back to, what he knows now, was an eventual defeat. If he was insane, he’d have ended it already. No, he’s just putting everything he has into this plan. And if he even feels for a moment that fate is still against him, it’ll be enough confirmation for him to know there is no future for him beyond that point. He’ll destroy everything before he even has a chance to be sealed away. Am I right, Tirek?” Tempest said, giving him a hard stare.

“Perceptive. It’s true. Every evil doer before me failed due to some slip up they had made. And when the world had seen my plan was perfect, it conspired against me. I fear that, perhaps, the world itself is what drove my brother to betray me all those years ago. Well, if Equestria will not see me as its new king, then I will raze everything into nothing.” Tirek’s tone was more calm, even somber. “The tides have finally changed, and I will rule this world. None of you have any hope in defeating me. But now I’m rambling, so let us get on with it. Beyond this door is your first trial, it should be simple enough for you to solve. Throughout our game, there is to be no magic aside from the most basic of abilities. No spells, no incantations, no magical artifacts can be used beyond this point. Oh, and failing to follow the rules or completing the challenge will not end well for any of you. So please, try to take things seriously.”

“What? If you want us to pass, then why is there even a chance of losing?!” Shit, fucking treacherous fuck!

Tirek shrugged. “There’s always that one element of luck. As for the trial itself, it shouldn’t be too worrying, you merely need to get past a few of those fancy laser tripwires humans use. Good luck… Anon.” And with that, the screen shut itself off as the door began to open.

Well then, this wasn’t going to be easy after all.

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