• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 55 - Anon Vs. Garble

“So this is where we’re gonna be fighting, huh? It seems ok, kind of beat up though.” You stood on a small rock island a few ways away from the coastline. It seemed to be an old fighting arena of some kind. No seats or anything fancy like that, just some broken rubble on the floor and beautiful but rustic and slightly broken gem spires on the four corners of the island. It was small to be sure, plenty of room to fight and observe, but that was about it. “And you’re sure I can fight here without it causing an issue to any of the other dragons?” You had mentioned to Smolder that if the fight was going to go down, that it had to somehow happen without some war breaking out. Conveniently, she had a place to fly you to that would solve such a problem.

“Yeah, this place is an ancient battleground where dragons used to fight each other just to be right in an argument. Heck, there’s even an official dragon law that says that whatever happens in this arena is between the two fighters and that’s it. This place is pretty legendary, it is said that the dragons that fought here were the best of the best, and always fought with honor and integrity.” Smolder explained to you as she walked to one of the spires to give it a tap, taking notice that the gem was still pretty steady for being so old.

“I mean, it exists. How can it be legendary if it’s right here where everycreature can see?” You ask, not understanding at all how that makes sense.

Smolder turned back to look at you, shaking her head in response to your ignorance “It’s not the place, it’s just the story of it. How many dragons do you know fight with ‘honor and integrity’?”

“Ohhhh, I guess that kind of thing would be legendary to you guys, huh? Well, either way, it just means we can make sure we go by that legend by making the fight physical only. Really, I’m sure I can outsmart and outclass Garble despite my size. It’ll be funny” You say as you start to play with a pebble, actually being skilled enough to maneuver it around the stone floor with ease. It made you feel more confident to be so dexterous with your hoof.

“Yeeeeaaahhh, I doubt Garble would agree to that. And even if he did, he’d probably cheat. Though, considering you did beat Incen, I’m gonna take a guess you have a cheat of your own. It’s that weird horn around your neck, right? How does that thing work? I know you can turn into a dragon, but it has to do more than that.” Smolder said as she looked upon your Sombra Horn, nearly bringing up a claw to give it a tap.

“It lets me do anything of everything. You ever heard of Discord? Well, I’m his son!” You say, grinning as you spread your legs for a pose, looking high to seem greater than you were.

Smolder just stared at you, unimpressed. “Uh huh, no idea who that is, but I’ll take your word for it. So then, sounds like you have plan. Just so you know, once the fight starts, it’s just you and him, nocreature can step in or anything like that. So, are you ok with that? Can you really do this?” At this point, you could sense the small worry in her voice. You could tell you gained her reluctant friendship, but you also understood it really would most likely be one on one once the fight starts, she wouldn't step in at all to help unless it got truly serious. Still, no worries, the moment the asshole tried anything, you’d show him real chaos.

“I’m fine with it, I’m feeling pretty confident. And trust me, I can get him to agree to physical only…” You shrug, feeling rather arrogant “I mean, how soul crushing would it be if he couldn’t even beat me with his bare claws? Am I right?”

“Huh, good point. Heh, now I’m really excited! Ok, I’m gonna go get him and his cronies, so get ready!” Smolder said as she crouched, and prepared to fly off.

“Gotcha, I already feel like celebrating my victory. Haha!” You wish you could grip a hand like some anime guy, the flatness of your hoof did a poor job of empathizing your excitement.

“So do I, just, Y’know, make sure you win. I’d… erm. Look, I guess we really are friends now, because…” Smolder looks around to make sure no one was looking, and stands back up “I’m just gonna say it, I am worried about all this, and I don’t wanna see you get hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna see you smack Garble silly, that’ll be fun, but I don’t want to see you get pounded because of it. So, just promise me you’ll be ok, ok? I’d hate to lose a friend I just made.” Smolder was finally looking at you with a soft and gentle look, with yet a sense of toughness still about it. She accepted you, and for that, you’d make sure Garble’s loss would be more than spectacular.

“I promise. It’s nice to have you as a friend too, Smolder, you’re pretty cool. Maybe…” Ogh, oh man. There it was, a pain in your heart. You now had to internally admit that you were now going to attend Twilight’s school for the sake of a friendship, maybe even more than one as far as Ocellus was concerned, what a bother. “...We can hang out at Twilight’s school. It’ll be a week after opening, but I’ll be attending there after that.”

“You are? Well…” She hesitated once more, and even tensed for a moment, feeling unsure about her next words. She tensed more and more with every half moment, until finally she went loose, slumped, and sighed. “Yeah, way too late to act any kinds of tough. Sure, it’d be cool to hang out, and be in the same classes, however those are. Only thing is that, and I am putting my foot down on this, we aren’t any kinds of married, alright? I don’t care if it’s a joke, I don’t want anycreature even thinking it, Ok? It’d be really weird walking around school with everycreature thinking we’re a thing. Other than that, it’d be nice to hang, do homework together, skip school if it gets too boring, stuff like that. Anyway, I’m gonna get the moron now, so just be ready.”

You nod “I will, trust me Smolder, this is gonna as smoooooooth as butter.” You say with a wink. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem too doubting, especially since she gives you a thumbs up before finally flying off.

You decided to do a few hops and jumps at first, bucking into the air and speedily moving from side to side. You felt lighter, stronger, and your movements were much more quick than before. Man, you may not have been able to crush that dragon statue with your skills, but Garble will be the next best thing. After some time, you finish your warm up routine and get an idea. You decide to hide behind one of the spires, and await your ‘cue’. Basically, you wanted to give Garble a sense of dread before you pop out, most certainly to be laughed at. You’d play it cool, and then show that fuck whats up when the fight finally starts.

After what seemed like another ten minutes, You could see Smolder returning to the island with a small group of dragons, four of them to be exact, with one of them being your target. They all land, and as expected, Smolder already seems tense from your ‘absence’. Garble just steps forward, looking around, smacking his fist into his palm. “So where is he? You said he was right here, right?”

“Garble…” in the group, was a rather muscular and larger dragon with thick arms and smaller wings. And yet despite this, he looked as scared as a kitten. “M-maybe we shouldn’t be here, what if it’s a trap? What if he’s ready to strike from around the corner?”

“Maybe you all should stop being wimps and get your act together! It’s just one pony! One pony who I’m gonna flatten in a few seconds, if I can even find him.” Garble, not being too bright, started overturning rocks and pebbles, and pushing around the very few human sized boulders in his vicinity.

“But what if he bites you with his razor sharp teeth!?” A meek and long orange dragon cries out, with panic in his eyes and twisted horns.

“Or he snaps you in two with his beefy legs?” A fat and portly black dragon says as he looks around nervously, he was only a little bit bigger than you, and nowhere near as cute.

“Or just eats us all?! Garble, I’m just-” But the beefy dragon who tried to warn him is once again shut down by Garble's arrogance and growing agitation.

“Will you all shut it already!? It’s embarrassing, c’mon, it makes us all look bad. I’m not Incen, I’m Garble, the greatest and coolest dragon that has ever existed ever! And you’re all going to see that today. Smolder, where is he?!” Garble practically had smoke coming out of his nose as he grinded his fist into his palm. Ok, so he wasn't scared like you thought. Still, you could work with this, it meant he'd totally agree to whatever deal you gave him if it made him look better.

“He was here, I know he was. And just to let you know, I could take him too. I’m not afraid of him at all.” Smolder said, as she began to feel betrayed by your sudden disappearance.

“Yeah? Well good, at least you have some backbone, even if you’re still a sissy dragon. But if he was here, and he’s gone now, then I guess that means I technically win, since I was the one who wanted to challenge him first.” Garble said as he crossed his arms, already trying to greedily take an unearned victory. And that was exactly your cue.

“Now hold on there! A jerk like you deserves nothen but a good butt beating. Prepare yourselves, as I, Anon, the Hero Colt, makes the scene!” You shout from behind the rightmost gem spire.

Immediately, the three cowardly dragons grab hold of each other as they hear your voice. Smolder calms down, and not only realizes what you're doing, but shakes her head in embarrassment from your cheesy bravado. Garble however, steps closer to the ring, demanding your presence. “So you are here, huh? Where are you?! Come out so I can give you a beat down!”

“I’m right here!” You finally make your grand reveal, hopping out to the side, and stepping up to Garble as you give him an intense and scary stare… which no one found scary. In fact, the moment you hopped out, everyone but Smolder began to laugh and point at you.

The portly one was rolling on the ground laughing. “That’s him?! He’s smaller than I am! What a runt!”

The long one nearly tied himself into a knot “Oh boy! Incen lost to him?! And here we thought that guy was tough!”

The buff one began to crack his knuckles as he looked at you hungrily “Well, if that’s the case, I guess that means I'll have to take him d-” But before he can finish that sentence, Garble points at him, growling, acting as the dominant one of the group.

“You chumps aren’t doing anything! You all were ready to wet yourselves on the way over here, and now you want to fight? Too bad, I said he’s mine, and that's how it’s gonna be. And sure, maybe this won’t make me the coolest dragon ever, but I’ll be eating like a king for weeks.” Garble said this with so much fierce authority, that the other three actually buckled to his words, and withdrew from stepping forward. Garble nodded to himself, victorious and proud, and then looked to Smolder with a grin “Now I see why you were so ready to fight him. Step off, Smolder, you don’t deserve anything! He’s mine!” Grable pointed at himself.

Smolder made a fist with her right hand, she wanted to punch him so much. But she looked to you for a moment, and saw your confidence. She knew she’d have her chance, so she took a breath, cooled down, and shrugged as she walked back to join the group “Whatever, would be a shame if you lost though.”

“Me, lose? Ha! If I lose, then I’ll put on a diaper and ask for binky, which, by the way, ain’t gonna happen. Either way, every dragon here is obligated to give me everything once I obliterate this shrimp.” Garble reminded everyone as he walked over to you, feeling so sure of himself that when he finally stood close to you, face to face, he just let out a small cackle as he put his arms to his side “Heya, Hero Colt, I’ll be your butt kicker today. Any last words? I’m feeling pretty generous today, so it can be lengthy if you want. I don’t care, we already know who’s gonna win anyway.”

Hm, this guy was pretty tall compared to you. But don’t falter, Anon, just stick with what you know and remember your training. Rainbow Dash may be pretty dumb, but she’s an athlete for a reason, and she did have the backing of the Wonderbolts… Even though they are kinda worthless. Whatever, magic if things go awry, remember that. “Yeah, I got a few words. I heard this place was some ancient dragon fighting arena or whatever. With rules and everything. So how about this, we fight using physical attacks only. No magic, no fire breath. That way, we can see who really is the best fighter in the land. Remember, I did beat that other guy, so you can’t just brush me off as weak. Or are you scared that you can't beat me 'drago y ponyo'?”

“What?! I’m not afraid of anything! Especially not scrawny little freaks like you! Fine, I’m game. I’ll be nice and hold back from turning you into ashes, just because I’m that awesome. So, you ready then?” Garble said as he pounded his fists together and spread his legs, seemingly ready to strike.

“You bet” You say as you crouch, wiggling your tiny butt and getting ready to dodge.

“Cool, but since this is all honorable and stuff, I’ll be sportsdragonlike and give a countdown. On my word, we let the scales and fur fly, got it?” Garble said, with an unsettling and dishonest air about him.

“Sure, go ahead, I’m ready on the word ‘go’ “

“Alright, cool. So, Ready, seeeeeeeeet” But before he even says go, he lunges at you, and grabs you with both his hands. Admittingly, this actually caught you off guard. You were now in his grip, your legs just loose enough to flail about.

“What the?! You said on your word!” You pointed at him angrily, what the fuck?!

“Yep, I just didn’t say what word that was. Time to go night night, Hero Colt!” Garble cackled, and reared back his head for a mighty headbutt. Before you could even react, he smashes his head right onto yours in an attempt to knock you out in a single blow. “r-r-RAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AGHHHHHHHHH!” But what happened instead was Garble dropping you, holding on to his own head as he staggered backward, crying out in pain as it felt like his skull nearly split. Hell, the smack was so hard, you even felt a physical sense of the pain he was in, but not so much yourself.

You let out a soft grunt as you hit the ground. Other than a tiny bump however, you were fine, you just sat on your butt and gave your head a cute little tap with your foreleg to make sure everything was intact. “Huh, everything seems ok. How ya doin there, Garble?”

Garble didn’t answer, he just continued to whine as he held on to his head. The other dragons were confused and even cringing, as the sound of a crack echoed into the distance. As for Smolder, she was already smiling to herself.

“That’s what I thought, BELLY SMASH!” You rush up towards Garble, hop with a 180 spin, and buck Garble’s gut. It seems with your newfound abilities, you were finally able to do some aerial damage as he ended up grabbing his stomach with a groan.

“Hnnngh, NGHHH! Y-you’re gonna….NGH, Ogh… P-pay…” Garble was doing his best to recover. You wanted to make another attack, but you could tell he was getting ready to counter in someway if you approached again.

“Pay? Is that before or after I kick your butt? And what hospital do I have to pay upfront for your care? I’m not familiar with the area.” You say, laughing at him as you do.

“T-that’s it! Y-you're dead!” Garble finally loses it, and rushes you, claws bared. His temper was short to be sure. He has had enough, and turned to his more feral instincts as he rushed you to tear you apart.

Oh man, you had this in the bag.

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